#fruit salad of all time

[kaleidoskuls]

Mike, to himself: i am a man. i like manly stuff.

Will, walking by: *smiles at him*

Mike, following after him: such as other men.

[akkivee]

ALSO!!!!!! HAPPY FIVE YEARS ANNIVERSARY TO THIS ICONIC INTRO!!!!!!!💜💜💜💜💜💜💜

[trappedinafantasy37]

Gods, Agatha is such a diabolical cunt. Never did I think I'd ever love someone more than Wanda, but she's now my new favorite bitch of the MCU. Kathryn Hahn really knocked it out of the park with this one! Her line delivery is just impeccable, and she is marvelous at playing out the bloodthirsty sociopath that you can't help but sympathize with. Like, she knows what she's about and she's not ashamed of it.

I'mma talk about Agatha All Along real quick cause it's late at night and I just finished the show in a sleepy haze and I need to get all these thoughts out while I battle another insomnia episode. So SPOILERS!

I was shooketh to find out that the witches road never even existed and was never real. The original ballad was based on a song her and her son made up while traveling, and it twisted into the ballad of the Witches Road over time. But other young witches believed the ballad to be a real tale, so they came to Agatha and wanted her to guide them down the road. So, she turned the ballad into a bait to lure other witches into a trap and steal their powers. This is how Agatha became a legend as the "only known survivor of the Witches Road". Of course she's the only survivor of the road! She made it the fuck up and then murdered everyone!

Agatha was bitching to Rio about her tormenting her the entire time and making her life a living hell. I was so confused on why Agatha would say this or why Rio would be sticking so closely to Agatha this entire time since her son's death. But that's because Rio has been following Agatha for centuries down the "Witches Road" because Agatha was dropping bodies left and right. And Agatha hated this because she sees Rio as responsible for taking her son, but Rio was just doing her job. Hells, Rio even did Agatha a massive favor by allowing Nicholas to live at all and giving Agatha at least some time with her son. And the little moment Agatha and Rio have where Rio says "as long as I get my bodies" is because there has always been bodies during the "Witches Road" and it is what Rio is expecting of Agatha. Rio only gets directly involved with this one because Billy "broke the rules" and cheated death and she is here to collect him specifically.

It's of no wonder why Agatha seems so erratic and winging it during all of the trials because there has never been trials. The Witches Road has never been real. She gets so frustrated at the beginning trial and yells at the witches to blast her because that is how it has always played out, until it didn't and the road actually revealed itself. She clocked Billy really early on because she realized that he used his mother's powers, induced unnecessary suffering, and killed people to get what he wanted (even if he didn't know that was what he was doing).

The Witches Road only became real because Billy made it real using his reality bending powers. He made the same mistake Wanda did and conjured it into existence because he wanted it to be real so bad. He wanted answers and to find out how to get Tommy back. That is what he expected at the end of the road and it's what he got. And like Wanda, Agatha helped him figure out how to get Tommy and get him what he has wanted. And Billy unintentionally got 3 people killed in the process. But he also helped Jen unbind herself and get her powers back.

And also, Lady Death is now in the MCU!!!! She's literally one of the most, if not the most powerful entity in the entire Marvel creation. She cannot die, cannot be killed, and cannot be injured. And Aubrey Plaza is just *chef's kiss*. She managed to leave such a massive impact by doing very little. I could not have imagined any one better and I'm actually surprised it took so long for her to make her way into the MCU. I would be severely disappointed if this was the last time we ever saw Aubrey Plaza as Lady Death. I know we're gonna see Billy, hopefully we see Tommy, but I need Rio Vidal.

I initially thought Disney was gonna pull the rug out from us and this show was just gonna be another queerbait. But the evil lesbian witches actually kissed, even if it was the kiss of death.

[superbellsubways]

get outta my house right now

[fruit-salad-ship]

Roman au snippet inspired by patreons. It was just suppose to be a regular trip to the bath house. Guard the boss, carry her stuff, normal.

Scribbled out the ideas, nothing pretty but the points there.

Peach is finding her little skills other than fighting. It brings rare joy.

[adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy]

home from work

[caluski]

Why is it so expensive to have a fun low cholesterol diet :( like half the recipes u can find online are like, you should eat a lot of [one of the most expensive types of fishes] and [very expensive fruits and veggies] or [vegan alternatives to meat that are also very expensive and also often hard to find] !!!!!!! Helpppppp.....

[pinktinselmonstrosity]

are we going to talk about how expensive it is to eat healthily because i feel like i'm losing my mind

[fruitsaladgame]

it's the catholic schoolgirl au no one asked for

[exocbxmp3]

🔴🔵🟣🟡

[kala-mies]

That fruit salad banged. Peace and love.

[hyah-lian]

throws my weighted blanket in the air to get bodyslammed by gravity

[tokruta]

I feel so cheated sometimes bc I fucking hate the taste and smell of meat (I categorize seafood as meat too) and beans

I'm Mexican-American

My Mexican mother is considered the best in the family for Mexican cuisine, everyone loves her food and I can't eat most of it

I can't eat it or smell it without wanting to gag (I don't, but I need to leave after a while to get a break)

Mexican food is considered one of the best food cultures in the world, my mother was born and raised in Jalisco and brought all the recipes she learned from her mother with her

I grew up on fast food and faster/easier recipes because she needed to put more time and effort into cooking for the rest of the family

I also grew up in Los Angeles, one of the best places in the US for authentic Mexican food. We'd go to Mexican restaurants when she didn't feel like cooking (and on one memorable occasion, a house/restaurant that was recommended to my parents at church lol), and if not Mexican restaurants, then some fast food place or seafood buffets. I stopped going out to eat with family often in my teens bc it wasn't worth taking me. I also remember being judged and just hated the experience and would make up excuses to not go

I don't know, I was on my tiktok fyp and I kept getting a lot of stuff about Mexican food and I just hate being reminded of my fucking defects so much. I didn't choose to utterly despise meat and beans and I feel so left out of my own culture. If I could eat it, I would, but I can't.

My siblings grew up on all of these amazing foods, and I grew up right alongside them, eating something else.

[fruit-salad-ship]

Mafia au really does creep in when I’m painting (decorating house) and honestly? I can’t wait to write the point those girls realise that they’re actually madly in love.

It starts as a fling, just fun, peach is so painfully aware that someone like plum won’t hang around that town for long. It’s no place to find fame, and that’s plums goal. So peach just resigns herself to the thought that while it’s strange someone so prim and proper is paying attention to her, perhaps this singer is simply getting her fix of the rougher sort, perhaps she just was trying out a partner who’s a little meaner visually, a little more dubious morally. Unsure of the specifics, it didn’t matter. The pair continue to see each other, days out, nights in, trips to towns over and stays in hotels that all seem so enjoyable.

And then the truth bomb drops. It’s been a while, perhaps a year or so of them just always being together. They thought they’d get sick of it but they just haven’t, and sure they’ve argued, they’ve had disagreements, it never seems to keep them apart for more than a few hours.

Plum gets in a conversation at the bar, no one knows she’s dating peach, the very person who owns the establishment, they’ve kept this very quiet to avoid prejudice. But someone asks the singer if she’s seeing someone, a longing patreon perhaps rising to the opportunity of talking to her after her set. And plum without thought says yes, she’s very much in love with someone, is taken, is happy. This disappoints the men around her, but peach is pouring a pint for someone, and overhears this. Looks over, just watching her. Plum is none the wiser that she’s been heard, she’s busy enjoying the night. Peach’s pint overflows, she wasn’t looking at what she was doing, lost count of the seconds it takes for that amount of liquid to fill a glass, the distraction too great, grey laughs at her clumsiness, unaware what was just said.

All night peach is completely pulled from work, and before long the last two in the bar are her and Plum, the habitual process of staying late to hang out after cleaning up, and so peach can walk her home safely, they can chat and catch up. But boss is quiet, plum notices it. Asks her whats up, but she’s being cagey, invites her into her apartment, coaxed in by the bad weather and the offer of a hot drink. Peach can’t say no, hasn’t been able to for a long time now.

It comes up, peach mentions she overheard the whole “love” thing, kind of a strong word. This big woman is still convinced plums going to find her fame and leave, and rightly so! She’s talented, peach wants her to chase her dreams and be happy, she knows she has no right to stop her and has been resisting the urge to just follow when plum finally goes, too dedicated and tangled up in the family business to be able to do that. But god she’s tempted.

Plum hears her, hears the expectations of her leaving, hears the open mind to her getting where she needs to go, even hears the undertone of support at every turn, she sees peach is just kind of pushing down the fact that she’s expecting abandonment. That her big tough boss is dare she say it, sulking a little because she’s expecting the worst.

Plum catches peach off with a laugh, puts her hand on the big woman’s thigh and tells her things change. Maybe she use to dream of being some star on the stage, maybe she wanted to live somewhere else, maybe she didn’t expect any of this. But the truth is she’s changed, she wants to stay somewhere she’s loved and respected, in the company of someone she truly has come to adore, way more than anyone else.

They get to talk about some deep seated truths, and while it takes some time to pry that from peach, all plum has to do is ask, say please with those big brown eyes, and she caves. The realisation that they’re both hopelessly devoted to each other, and the worst part that peach hasn’t fully showed her the nature of her work, that this is so desperately what she wants but also she’d be lying if she went into this. But who could say no to plum? She’s just holding her hand like it’s anchoring her to the ground, so peach has to decide: let her in on… the bloody truth, that her and her family have killed many and will continue to do so. OR continue to keep a secret. A big, horrible, difficult secret. Peach can’t do it to her, and swears to figure out a way to tell the truth before things get too serious. Plum will surely leave her when she finds out; but at least she didn’t continue to lie.

The focus point is that they both love each other a lot, now it’s just a case of making this work, or accepting peach will be alone as soon as the truth it out.

Peach is frightened.

Plum is overjoyed.

[tsunflowers]

this is nothing.

[vegancas]

the thing is i would become a fruitarian if i didn't think it sounded like so much work