#freedom is a pretty fucking loose concept

[strange-ness-is-me]

New academic essay just dropped!!

Freedom is not eternal.

Freedom, unlike most perceptions of it, is a state of being. A temporary condition that is achieved through unshackling oneself from something, or someone detrimental to one’s existence. The only way to achieve freedom is to acknowledge that something isn’t good for you, it is hard to do, especially if that situation blinds you with pleasure, it is an addiction. However that isn't the entirety of how to achieve this state of freedom, sometimes the harm can be external coming from an outside source, but sometimes it can be something that you put on yourself. The harmful circumstance controls your life, restricting you from attaining what you need, such as food, self-determination, and economic freedom, among other things. Life will always send things to obstruct your freedom, it is up to you to claim it back.

Mary Wollstonecraft was a brilliant lady, she was the mother to Mary Shelley.  Not only did she mother one of the most revered authors of history, but she also was an activist for women's rights. For her and a lot of women their freedoms were being restricted by the patriarchy, a government ruled primarily by cishet white men. Wollstonecraft found this to be detrimental to her freedom and so she fought back against the patriarchy as much she could. Unfortunately, women especially those of higher class weren't allowed to fight physically, so Wollstonecraft decided to write letters to the legislature. She wrote letters to persuade the entirely male legislature to at least include women in the votes and to have a voice when making decisions about laws. Wollstonecraft says in the letter A Vindication of the Rights of Woman “But, if women are to be excluded, without having a voice, from a participation of the natural rights of mankind, prove first, to ward off the charge of Injustice and inconsistency, that they want reason, -- else this flaw in your new constitution, the first constitution founded on reason, will ever shew that man must, in some shape, act like a tyrant, and tyranny, in whatever part of society it rears its raised in front, will ever undermine morality.” (Wollstonecraft). This quote shows that without the input of women, that reason isn't entirely reason.  Wollstonecraft is trying to make an argument that the oppressors, in this case, men, should take women's advice in the government because having someone else make decisions for you is taking away your freedoms. 

Thomas Jefferson one of the American founding fathers was the one who wrote the Declaration of Independence of the United States,  this is another prime example of the harmful outside situation. Britain's Parliament and King George III had colonies in what is now the United States of America, it held a tyrannical rule over the colonies, taxed the people unfairly, and made living there not preferred. After years of this tyrannical rule, the United States Congress had Thomas Jefferson write up the Declaration of Independence of the United States and sent it to the British Parliament.  this started a war between the British and the Americans, but because the Americans had an army of mostly trained soldiers, they were able to fight in that war and eventually won. Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence of the United States that it is the duty of the people to alter the government or abolish it if it becomes detrimental to the quality of life of the citizens (Jefferson). This encourages the citizens to go forth and claim their own freedoms when something wants to take it away. A quote from the text is “But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future.” (Jefferson). Because freedom is temporary, one must put up walls to protect their freedoms and secure their future from any impending threats.

While Pirates have already broken free from their detrimental situations, they still have to Make sure that they can keep their freedoms by having basic structures and rules kept in place. unlike most other rules where there are a lot of them, the Pirates put bass rules and only rules that will ensure the crew's safety. Since pirates are free of their restrictions they have to protect themselves but making sure that they won't get caught by the oppressors, in this case, the government. On ships, it was common to find that there was a lights-out policy of 8:00 p.m. since the British, Spanish, Polish, etc. ships could find them in the sea if they had lights on that late and they didn't want to be found. There are also a bunch of rules to keep fighting on the crew to a minimum such as no cheating or stealing and no gambling since those could raise tensions. there is also oddly a rule where there were generally no women alone on the ship, this was usually due to a superstition that women were bad luck on ships. All of these rules are to ensure safety and to make sure that no one gets locked back up into their detrimental situation again, if one person gets caught then that could lead to many people getting caught. Even though Pirates can be brutal they still look out for other people in the way that it also benefits themselves, or so it seems. (Johnson and Roberts) They also made sure that everyone was able to get a say in the decisions due to a council with everybody on the crew on it usually they would make decisions about punishments for crew members who betrayed the wider crew.

Peril the SkyWing from the book series Wings of Fire is an excellent example of internal shaking, for most of her life she obeyed the rule of her queen, Queen Scarlet, since Queen Scarlet raised her since she hatched basically. Peril has this condition called fire scales, she hatched with too much fire so her scales emit a burning heat that could kill anyone she brushes by. Queen Scarlet raised Peril to believe that she would always be a monster and that she could never change from being a murderous dragon, so Queen Scarlett used Peril in her Gladiator Arena as her champion. That is how she lived for the majority of her life until she met a dragon named Clay. Clay is a MudWing who also happens to be a Dragonet of Destiny, the Dragonets of Destiny are a part of a prophecy to end a 20-year-long war. Clay and his friends were captured by Queen Scarlet and taken to her prisons where he was held. Peril started talking to Clay and it revealed that Queen Scarlet never liked it when PerilTalked to any other Dragon except for her. Queen Scarlet is the harmful person in this situation, she restricted Peril's access to food, she restricted Peril's access to self-determination, and Queen Scarlet didn't even let Peril leave the SkyWing palace. Clay talked to Peril as Peril snuck out of the initial Palace to talk to him, and because Clay also grew up with him believing he was a monster he was able to sympathize with Peril. One huge difference between Peril and Clay is that Peril never believed she could be anything but a murderous dragon, however, Clay never was able to bring himself to actually harm anyone. the only reason Clay was labeled as a monster was that when hatching he tried to help the other dragons he was hatching with break out of the shells and the caregivers didn't know that that was an instinctual thing for MudWings, especially the first hatched MudWings experienced. After learning that Peril was being lied to by Queen Scarlet her entire life, she started to change for the better, she started to escape the grip that Queen Scarlet had over her (Sutherland 81). Peril directly confronts Queen Scarlet in the book Escaping Peril, she says “You can't make me. you can't make me kill anyone else for you. I'm not that kind of dragon anymore"(Sutherland 22). That quote demonstrates how Peril is starting to take more control over her life, she is making an effort to change from the Dragon that Queen Scarlet wants her to be.

All of these sources allude to the firm belief that freedom is not something that you can just have, it is something that you have to work for, to believe that you deserve. Without acknowledgment of yourself or the detrimental situation, you cannot begin to fathom breaking away from the chains. There are however small steps to be able to make those connections, if you as much wonder if a specific person or situation isn't good for you take a moment, step back, and think about it. thinking is probably one of the best things you can do when faced with a situation like that. letting people take away your freedom is one of the most vile things I can think of. fighting for your freedom no matter how big or small the act is, will be worth it in the end regardless, because you made that decision for yourself. 

Works Cited

Jefferson, Thomas. Declaration of Independence of the United States. 1776.

Johnson, Charles, and Bartholomew Roberts. A General History of the Pyrates. 1724.

Sutherland, Tui T. Escaping Peril. Scholastic Incorporated, 2017.

Wollstonecraft, Mary. A Vindication of the Rights of Woman. 1792.

[praxieserver]

Show us your south park oc!!

why yes i will thank you very much!!!

meet Avy Alvarez! half filo, half american, and originally my extremely self insert-y oc ive decided to shake up and fuck around with!! they're nonbinary, bi, and they use any pronouns

the guys think she's a guy and just assume she's some kinda femboy and the girls assume he's a girl and thats causes chaos when they think he's getting frisky with their exes when she casually interacts with them like a normal person

since i did say she used to be really self insert-y she is like. a fandom bitch that draws and writes gay shit. yaoi even. and i decided to keep it bc the concept of a serial killer/killer just being a socially awkward fandom kid drawing anime fanart is very funny to me.

that being said, she's socially awkward, but easy-going and goofy as hell. has hot takes that regularly causes discord in the girl's list making committee meetings. she said what she said except when wendy threatens to remove her

does not actually have like a really fucked up backstory to being a serial killer. like she does have some mental health issues but they weren't raised in a family of assasins or something. in fact she was barely raised at all her parents are kind of absent simply because i cannot fathom what they're dynamic could be and kind of always characterized them to be kind of lonely.

she's got a butler/babysitter/housekeeper to keep her in check and handle her meals but they eventually leave when avy gets older. her parents set up a bank account for her where they just send money for her needs and she can deposit/ withdraw whenever she needs. her parents work overseas ig and they're kind loaded so they just send her money when they ask but are also strict with her grades and just in general so like. not very good, and generally very emotionally absent parents.

as for why they are a serial killer? i always imagined that she isnt in like some dark web shit, crap just went down once and then some guy called her for a job and she just decides that like. ight fuck it ig and gets the job done. then that guy knows another who needs someone dead and is like "oh i know a guy" and then it escalates enough that people are passing aroun her job number and calling if they want.

also as the comic says nowadays she just kills people who highkey deserve it and she doesn't really charge as much as other hired killers probably do so alot of people who are like victims of stuff or are like getting blackmailed or smth try their luck and call her for revenge. sometimes she also just accepts jobs from crime guys doing stuff against crime guys. generally chaotic neutral serial killer ig

and since bodies aren't particularly light, she's pretty strong and kinda crafty. just horribly socially awkward and has a few self-esteem issues. there's a voice modulator with the mask and that blonde strand of hair is there bc they think it'll help throw off the cops. whether or not that would actually work i do not know.

also she def has like a one sided rivalry with mysterion bc like. yk serial killer on the loose but also said serial killer does knows mysterion is kenny and doesn't really have anything against them as mysterion or kenny, but man is he a bother when he's trying to stop them from killing ppl and fighting to incapacitate and not kill is kind of difficult when you were killing/planning to kill someone. this also leads to like an arc abt her becoming enemies with freedom pals then frenemies then straight up like an honorary member/local guy they know who kills people and sometimes ask to kill people for them

besties with kyle. he thinks they're weird and they think he's a silly little guy. also pictured above, at one point he finds out abt her being a serial killer and after a whole arc about him coming to terms and choosing to trust that avy does not wish any harm on him and does not wish to manipulate or stalk him and generally has no ulterior motives towards him or his friends and family he just. tags a long in jobs sometimes. mostly to vent or he just wants to hang out with someone. he only tags along like, comes with him when they're going to the place where the deed will be done. he doesnt assist in the murders in anyway, he doesn't really like how gruesome they can be soemtimes and just looks waya while it's happening. he would just walk home once they actually have to start murdering but things can go awry reall quick sometimes so avy doesn't let him out of their sight until he's home. kind protective of kyle but in this case its pretty much warranted.

and that's all the silly goofy stuff about my south park oc. feel free to ask about them bc i have lot of fun playing around with them!!

[lesvegas]

First impressions of Stray are VERY fucking good.

The game is gorgeous, but that much is already obvious. It's less cyberpunk than I thought it would be, and honestly? I'm glad for that. The grimy city covered in neon lights and plants that thrive without sunlight in a totally walled-in city that no one can ever leave is such a perfect setting and I'm already obsessed with the themes and aesthetic. Parts of it almost remind me of fo3's vault concept art (very loosely, mostly in terms of scale). Lighting is just as pretty as you'd expect and the gritty concrete, bright neon lights, vibrant plant life and the little orange cat you play as all feel natural together. I don't have much of an ear for music, but the soundtrack is pretty beautiful from what I've listened to so far as well.

The game is also fairly polished. I only experienced framerate drops a couple times when coming into new/big areas or cutscenes. There was one glitch where a robot seemed to appear then disappear, but that's about it. It looks and feels like a triple A game in all the best ways without 90% of the problems.

The gameplay has an emphasis on exploration; you're meant to jump from platform to pipe to rooftop to shelf to table to meet robots, read old news and graffiti, find items, and run from these... headcrab fungus things. The platforming feels smooth, like what I'd expect Assassin's Creed to feel like if I ever actually played it, and you have the freedom to explore the city hub quite well (I know I'm referencing a lot of different games here, but it definitely gave me Sly 2 vibes in that department).

The game is a lot more relaxing than I'd expected. There's an emphasis on the narrative, a mystery, and world building here, with bursts of excitement in between. So far, there's only been a few times where I really had to run from (kinda oddly cute?) enemies, and it's not exactly hard if you've played almost any video game before. But everything I've mentioned already more than makes up for that. Also, it makes sense there wouldn't be too much combat or excitement since you play as, y'know, an ordinary house cat.

Speaking of the cat, the entire reason I even got the game... he's cute. And it's very clear the developers adore and know cats very well. Every little animation and interaction feels so natural, and anything that feels un-cat-like (for example, actually following a NPC when they ask you to) is too cute not to forgive. I'd say the least realistic thing is that I can walk in shallow puddles of water and the cat DOESN'T react to it (but considering how much water there is, it's understandable).

NPCs are all robots, and each one has their own charm, whether it's their appearance, dialogue, or both. There's plenty of small adorable moments (you can rub up against one's legs and her monitor face becomes a heart), funny moments (you can meow to distract a guy while he's trying to throw something only to make him drop it), and even sad moments.

This is already looking to be a phenomenal game and I'm so glad I pre-ordered it. I'm only just over two hours in, but I'm really looking forward to the rest.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Restless Rewatch: The Untamed Episode 21, part one

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff) (Previous Post)

Warning: Spoilers for All 50 Episodes!

Reunions

All together in The Unclean Realm, The Yunmeng trio find a spot inside where they can sit down and have a proper Yanli-Wuxian reunion, while Jiang Cheng sits across the table watching them. 

For years Jiang Cheng has been rejecting Wei Wuxian's free and easy affection; now Yanli might be the only person Wei Wuxian offers to hug until Wen Yuan comes into his life.

Jiang Cheng is really going through it. He'll do nearly anything for Yanli--except, uh, stay in the goddamn inn with her when she's sick and the Wens are hunting them--and what makes her happiest is Wei Wuxian. He's brought them together, and so he's happy, even though he's excluded from their dynamic. This absolutely fucking kills me.

Here Jiang Yanli and Wei Wuxian are sweetly pledging to always keep the trio together and put each other first. Neither of them will keep this promise. 

Wei Wuxian will leave first, to take the Wens to the Burial Mounds. Jiang Yanli will leave second, staying in Lanling at Jin Zixuan's request instead of accompanying Jiang Cheng to retrieve Wei Wuxian. Jiang Cheng will be the last to let go.

(more after the cut)

Nie Huaisang comes literally running in, filled with joy at Wei Wuxian's return. When he goes to pat his shoulder Wei Wuxian flinches away.

I feel like something important is happening in this rapid sequence of glances and expressions between Wei Wuxian and Nie Huaisang. NHS is startled, and WWX realizes he's shown something about himself that he didn't want to show. He glances at Jiang Cheng and back at NHS before laughing and covering his slip with a squeeze of NHS’s hand.

NHS switches from shocked to cheerful just as quickly, helping with the coverup. It’s like they have a quick mutual agreement, rooted in their history of shared shenanigans, to not point out that something is wrong.

Meanwhile, Lan Wangji is wandering around the grounds, having feelings. At this point it's presumably been at least a couple of weeks since their breakup fight. 

He sees Wei Wuxian sitting contemplating his flute, and as he sees him he goes from sort of neutrally apprehensive to full on angry judging, complete with sword clenching. 

Part of this may be that his feelings are hurt over their fight, but the larger issue is his distress over Wei Wuxian's apparent heretical cultivation.  That, at any rate, is what's on his mind when he's selecting music, later in the episode, and when he's selecting flashbacks. 

Party Time

Later, the Nies host an excruciating party to celebrate Wei Wuxian's slaughter of Wen Chao return. Jiang Yanli is sharing a table with Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng is sharing a table with his crippling social anxiety. 

Everyone starts grilling Wei Wuxian about his sword, because that's suddenly all anybody cares about even though Jiang Yanli, Nie Huaisang, Meng Yao, and probably plenty of other people don't carry swords most of the time.

Wei Wuxian says "after the Wens caught me, Wen Zhuliu crushed my core, so I can't use my sword any more, too bad so sad, can we change the subject?" And everyone is very understanding and admires his resiliency. HA HA HA HA HA. Of course he doesn't opt for that simple lie, but instead mopes audibly without saying anything.

Nie Huasiang tries to change the subject by asking how he killed Wen Chao. Apparently "I had a sexy ghost mostly flay him" isn't good party chat, though, so neither Wei Wuxian nor Jiang Cheng opts to tell the story. 

Everyone lapses into awkward silence, all the more noticeable because there are no dancers, musicians, or entertainers of any kind at this event. OP has gone to audit-kickoff meetings that were more fun than cultivator banquets.

Moment of Clarity

While the awkwardness builds, we hear the sounds of the Song of Clarity. Lan Wangji is skipping the party, which is part of why Wei Wuxian is so mopey. But instead of sitting and stewing in his anger, Lan Wangji has shifted gears, and is starting to work on his "save Wei Wuxian's soul" plan.

This isn't the God-botherer version of soul saving, however. Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian disagree about correct practice, but they both are still practitioners within the same spiritual system, and the majority of their beliefs are closely aligned.

Lan Wangji has powerful magic at his disposal, and now he's taking a step back from his plan of forcing persuading Wei Wuxian to give up heterodoxy, and instead he's preparing to use his magic to offset the consequences of Wei Wuxian's choice.

He still isn't ready to accept that choice, but he's working on it. This is a big moment for Lan Wangji's relationship with Wei Wuxian. Lan Wangji is a deeply, deeply uncompromising person, as well as being super bossy, and he’s taking his first steps toward supporting Wei Wuxian’s free agency. 

Wei Wuxian leaves the party in the middle of Yao's toast, saying "I have to see you and your lover all over my tumblr dashboard but I am NOT going to listen to you talk!" He takes his wine to go roam around near Lan Wangji's quarters to pine and feel conflicted.  Lan Wangji has thoughtfully set up a projection scrim to catch his shadow and make the pining easier.

Jiang Cheng comes looking for Wei Wuxian, partly to reprimand him for rudeness and partly to see what the hell is wrong with him. Jiang Cheng is trying very hard to be pleasant. He's bad at it, but he's trying.

Wei Wuxian is trying to be unpleasant and he's pretty good at it. He won't say why he isn't using his sword. He’s obviously super fucking depressed about it, calling his former self childish for liking to spar, and only smiling once during the whole exchange.

He finally tells Jiang Cheng that he will always want to do the opposite of what Jiang Cheng tells him.  Jiang Cheng lets this go with an eyeroll.

(Point Break Quote Alert)

But actually this is a sign of trouble, right here in River City, with a capital T and that rhymes with P and that stands for abandoning the Jiang Clan. Wei Wuxian has just told Jiang Cheng he has no intention of obeying him; not just about the sword, but in general. That's no way for a disciple to talk. 

OP has nothing to say about this gif. OP watches gif over and over and over and over

Wei Wuxian ends the conversation by tapping Jiang Cheng's chest with his flute and then walking away. The (still nameless) flute has no problem with this - does it, like Subian, recognize Jiang Cheng as an extension of Wei Wuxian?

The next day, Wei Wuxian is chilling in his room, looking ungodly sexy in his bold slashed robe, holy frack. I mean, he is sex-on-toast at all times, but the cut of his post-burial-mounds combo is particularly heart-stopping when he decides to stick a knee or two out. 

He's meditating and flashing back to being in the burial mounds, where he was also meditating. I admire his ability to fractally meditate about meditating. 

Chenqing

He didn't put a sock on the doorknob, so Jiang Yanli comes in and startles him. He brandishes his flute at her before calming down. The flute definitely does not see her as an extension of Wei Wuxian, because when she touches it, it smokes and then knocks her out of the frame so fast it's comical.

Did they put her in a jerk vest for that shot?

Wei Wuxian hides the flute from her, freaked out by its behavior. She, however, is unfazed, and gives him the first & only affirmation he's gotten about his new cultivation path, and says the flute is "like Mother's Zidian."  She kind of walks him through the whole "first class spiritual tool" concept, beaming with approval and telling him he must name the flute.  

Jiang Yanli is hardcore Jiang Clan, seriously. Freedom and impossibility. You survived 3 months of mystery trauma and now you're all fucked up? We'll roll with it. You have a demon flute now? Rock on. You're going to use necromancy to beat the other clans in a group hunt? Gold star for you.

He names the flute Chenqing, which @hunxi-guilai​ translates and explains in depth over here.

Bichen

Lan Wangji has finished practicing the Song of Clarity, and regardless of whether it's had an effect on Wei Wuxian, he himself seems much calmer. 

As Wei Wuxian contemplates Chenqing, Lan Wangji contemplates Bichen and remembers Wei Wuxian's assertions about resentful energy way back in Gusu summer school. 

This time when he grips his sword, it's loosely, as if he's made some progress with his anger.

Soup

Jiang Yanli sits Wei Wuxian down for some soup, and talks to him about what's going on with him, saying he's changed. He insists he's fine and works very hard to be convincing.

She's not convinced but says she won't press him, and then abruptly shifts tone and works very hard to act like everything is fine. She leaves, taking a lot of soup with her, and Wei Wuxian remarks that it's unfair she is giving so much to Jiang Cheng. But of course, some of it is secretly for Jin Zixuan.

Everything isn't fine, as Wei Wuxian scream-meditates with resentful energy just rolling off of him. He's got some of the dark energy stored in the Yin sword in his bag of holding, but I get the impression that a lot of it is just stored in his body.

Club Ruohan

At some point in the episode we stop in to check on Wen Ruohan. He and his wind machine are mad that Wen Chao is dead. 

Meanwhile, his interpretive dances with the Yin iron now turn his puppets into...Klingons? Sure, why not. 

Literal Stand-Up Meeting 

Jiang Cheng needs Wei Wuxian at games night a meeting and comes running to Jiang Yanli to find him. He is freaking out and she tells him to chill. 

No matter what fuckery is going on in the world, Jiang Yanli is going to find herself a nice little outdoor table and she is going to sit her ass down and have some tea and civilized lady activity. Queen.

This shot of the meeting is composed so nicely. The blocking (placement of actors) in this scene encapsulates the familial dynamics, and I’ll talk about that as soon as I finish admiring Jiang Cheng’s proportions. 

Here we have four clans represented by four family pairs around the game war table. The Jin cousins, despite their differing personalities, are side by side, matchy-matchy, in lockstep. Jin Zixuan lets Jin Zixun do the talking for him, so maintains his own rep as a reasonable guy.  

The Nie brothers are even closer together, also in matching greys, Nie Huaisang giving all of his attention to his brother/clan leader. You can see his careful watching of his brother's temper...not fearful for himself, but fearful for Mingjue.

The Lan brothers have a growing distance between them; they are in different colors (which is pretty usual for them), and Lan Wangji is standing well away from his brother and the rest of the group. Partly this is his personality, but it's also symbolic of his growing distance from his brother and other proper cultivators. He's carrying WWX-related secrets, and he's wrestling with what he's learned.  

While Nie Huaisang is looking at Mingjue, Lan Xichen is turning around to see what's up with his own volatile sibling.

Lastly you have Jiang Cheng, alone in the room, with his shidi nowhere to be found, and seriously feeling the heat because of his isolation. 

He's alone in his purple, but the color value (lightness/darkness) of his robes exactly matches Xichen's. 

And Xichen, bless him, makes a point of speaking to him respectfully as a fellow clan leader, gives him a path out of the "where is your brother" conversation, and is just generally his kind and helpful self with Jiang Cheng.

Next: Awkwardness Increases!

[cinnamonest]

Uh hi! I agree with that anon about everyone making a big deal of the last name issue, and they’re right they’re culturally very important for Chinese and Japanese cultures. For European? Not so much, for many reasons actually. In Asian countries everything you do ties to the family name, it’s why it’s introduced first before your name, family honor is the most important

In European cultures, what you do as a person is more significant than for the whole family. If someone in the family fucks up bad it doesn’t necessarily mean the end of that family as it does for Asian families and their whole honor

But just like that anon explained, it makes even more sense for the game to not have “Diluc Ragnvindr” after the fall of the aristocracy and freedom of people, it’s a sore spot. It’s why Diluc introduced himself as “Diluc, of Mondstadt”, not “Diluc Ragnvindr” , same for jean and the other characters

Like yes you’re allowed to complain, everyone else too, but good god the amount of complaints and memes and videos and people harassing mhy over it!!? Including Kazuha’s VA?? Outrageous and just so annoying

The rest of the Inazuman characters will be the same if they have a last name like Kamisato Ayaka, so I sure hope others won’t pull a fuss again over smth that’s culturally and in-game important again

I got several asks on this, so, I was unaware of people harassing the VA or mihoyo over it, yeah don't do that.

I could ramble on about history but to summarize: it is incorrect to say that, in the historical time period Mondstadt would be based in, surnames in the west were not of the same importance and did not have the same effects as they were/did in eastern cultures. A single individual's actions ruining an entire family's status permanently very much did happen and there are many accounts of it happening.

Actually, the extreme importance of the family name/lineage was generally the case for almost ALL cultures in antiquity. It ties into evolutionary psychology more than anything. Individualism is largely a product of western postmodern thought and is a late/post-Renaissance concept that would not have come along until hundreds of years after the apparent historical setting of the game. In most areas of the west it did not fully take effect until the late 1800s, and in some places in the west continued until as late as the 1950s. It is also largely a product of Christianity's prevalence in the west.

However, this really does not matter and is pretty insignificant, I'm just a slut for history and have a compulsive need to correct. Not putting Mondstadt character surnames does not affect the game in any way whatsoever, and is preferable imo.

And let's be real - they are not going for historical accuracy a lot of the time. Some elements of the game are pretty accurate, and some are only very very loosely inspired, so we can't expect any one standard of accuracy, nor should we, it's not what they're aiming for.

Tl;dr: this is a fantasy video game that is for the most part only loosely based on real cultures when it comes to aesthetic choices such as clothes, architecture and names, and is realistically full of historical inaccuracy, even if you remove the fantasy elements. While it is nice that they would take such important historical elements into consideration, it's also valid to be bothered by something jarring. What's more important is that certainly no one should be harassing anyone over something so trivial, that is an issue.

I do hope people with obsessive compulsive tendencies who are bothered by it can hopefully find a way to deal with it as I have. Unfortunately, creators cannot afford to be constantly taking everyone into consideration, nor do I expect them to.

[rosemary-is-in-pesterquest]

I am. SO. frustrated. that they keep fucking up davekat. like I just wanna go off. just wanna go the fuck off, man, I didn't even ship them that hard at first but god damn I do now and it's pretty much because the epilogues and HS2 have fucked them up so bad and I know they are better than that. let me just.

okay so originally, davekat is built on themes of mutual defensiveness in response to insecurity. when Dave is first introduced, he portrays himself as a cool guy, and gives us the concept of Strider irony. where a normal person might claim to love something shitty as an ironic joke, or maybe the ironic joke masks sincere enjoyment... Strider irony, according to Dave, has a billion more levels of sincerity and insincerity, to the point where you have no idea what the real intent is. in part, this is due to teen pretentiousness... but in some ways this is a reflection of him genuinely finding his Bro unfathomable, and wanting to protect his own genuine thoughts, opinions, and interests from criticism, without actually coming off as insecure. as time goes by, you can watch him and figure out what is sincere and what isn't... he doesn't actually keep that tight of a lid on things, but that's partially because the game allows him more freedom than he usually has. he at least isn't living in his Bro's shadow anymore. some might extrapolate this to mean that he's experiencing more physical and mental security than usual, while others might just say he's coming into his own via this journey, but the fact of the matter is that he felt the need to hide behind this facade in the first place. and the tricky thing with Dave is that it isn't all fake. it's a weird mixture of who he is, who he wants to be, and what he thinks others will respond well to. his development isn't so much discarding the mask, as it is reconciling what it's made of, and incorporating it into his true self as he matures. he accepts it as a piece of him. it's very subtle, and natural, and true to what growing up is really like. I think this is why so many people like Dave and relate to him so much.

for Karkat, insecurity manifests in the form of being hyper critical of everyone around him. to be honest, this also comes from a deep sense of concern for the people around him, and the fact that his friend group is made of a bunch of loose canons who do destructive shit for fun, and people who are easily dragged into that sort of thing. but the thing that keeps Karkat's hyper critical nature from irritating people too much is that he's also super extra critical of himself. he admits it when he's done something wrong... though admittedly often after it's made people angry at him, and he has a good amount of very sincere apologies that he delivers so that they come off as very sincere and actually work in terms of reconciling with people. Karkat's biggest issue is that criticizing your own internal flaws and actually fixing them are two different things. and while Karkat can identify many problems with himself, he's not always the best at making them go away. it takes him a long time to learn how to change himself, because in order to change yourself, you have to accept the flawed parts of yourself and work with them, rather than just trying to push them out of your sight. this is why his anger at his past and future selves is ultimately unhealthy. it keeps him from truly addressing the fact that his current self is just as subject to those same flaws. for example, if he's talking to a past self and a future self, and his future self is condescending to him, and his past self is naive, then his present self is both of those things to his conversation partners. but he's so repulsed by his own negative attributes that he's not really dealing with them. his saving grace is that everyone can see how hard he's trying, and how worried and scared he is. ultimately, Karkat doesn't want to be the reason for screwing everyone over, and that's more concern for others than anyone ever asked for. it gains Karkat a lot of good will, without him necessarily even realizing what he's doing.

what's excellent about davekat is that they come out the gate fully critical of one another... but neither is willing to back down either. somehow, these two insecure idiots trick each other into defending themselves. and it's brilliant, because they get all their critical bullshit out of the way immediately. they don't fear criticism from one another. they already criticize one another all the time, and it's fine. like, their worst complaints about each other are right out there in the open, and how freeing must that be for a couple of guys who worry about other people's opinions of them so much? Dave has nothing to hide and nothing to prove. Karkat defends his own positive qualities. it's good for them. eventually, they just kind of run out of material... and there's something comforting about knowing that they've said every bad thing they can think of about each other, and none of it was a deal breaker. they're still in each other's business constantly. and that's when they start to learn from each other. see, Karkat is really blunt. he wanders into the thick of things, yelling at people and making mistakes all over the place... and Dave is just more cautious than that. his whole cool guy persona is made to keep that kind of raw emotion from leaking out, and to make every mistake seem like he meant to do that. but Karkat makes mistakes all the time. and apologizes all the time. and he comes out okay. Karkat is sincere. but Karkat is also high strung... and Dave isn't. Dave knows how to chill, and he plans things, and he can sit down with people and calmly talk through a plan. get it in simple terms and hash things out without panicking. Karkat often exhausts himself trying to run around and manage everything, and while it can be kind of endearing to see how much he cares... it's not exactly healthy. Dave has more of a level head, beyond just his cool kid persona, and isn't afraid to make people walk things back and take it from the top. and actually, what Dave and Karkat have in common is that they try really hard for the people around them, and feel great concern for the people they love. when the chips are down, they value similar things. and once they've run out of ineffectual ways to badmouth each other, that's what they have left. probably the thing that bugs them the most about each other is how much they actually have in common in terms of priorities. and while I do think that in their relationship, they'll probably always bicker with each other, that's the core foundation. they're caring people who look out for their group and try to help wherever they can. in essence... they're both knights through and through.

and then HS2 fucks it all up. legit why even confuse anything about their relationship? just let them uncontroversially date, keep it lowkey and tasteful, realize the wonderful potential of their friends razzing them about it a little, and write a better story for them to exist in. god damn. like, seriously, just give them more people to actually care about, because Dave and Karkat feel out of character if they aren't constantly in the lives of a plethora of friends who are important to them. look at them in homestuck. look at everything they do best. of course they wouldn't thrive in HS2, none of the cast even likes each other anymore!! Dave and Karkat were basically instrumental in setting up rosemary, which fits so well with all of their characterization its insane. I just want everyone to periodically go back, and reread homestuck, and remember when these characters were good people.

BASED WENDELL COMING IN WITH THEIR ANALYSIS BETTER THAN WHATEVER THE FUCK THE HS2 WRITERS SHIT OUT 

[lovelywingsart]

Hopeful Future

-- Karl Heisenberg X OC (AFAB, She/They) --

Something short and sweet... This was also one of my favorites to write <3 This is also one of many where you can tell my strong suit is dialogue. ouo'' Anyway, enjoy some more cuteness from them- you'll need it.

**Remember, check out the Masterlist for more! <3 **

-----

*Warning?: Some self doubt, comfort, cuddles, kisses, just being relatively sweet

Summary: The date is set, but Emelia is experiencing a pretty bad case of nerves. She won't say it, but Karl seems to notice, and gives his own form of comfort. The start of a hopeful future has begun, and they can only hope all goes to plan.

The outside building was... quiet, for once, even with the distant sound of machinery. These times were rare, especially recently. Emelia lay cuddled against Heisenberg on the mattress-like cushion kept on the second floor, relaxed enough to almost sleep as her fingers traced over the scars on his chest. His breaths came as low rumbles as he kept his arm under her, curled around her back to tap at her shoulder. She wore his shirt, as always, thoroughly enjoying his warmth and the calm that his 'purring' gave her. So much had gotten done... Planning, construction, even small bits of 'fun' thrown in for a sort of stress relief. Production had increased thanks to recent expansions since the big meeting, and their plan was set once the news of Miranda's discovery of a new vessel had come out. However, due to this, tension, Emelias tension specifically, had been high. She wouldn't admit she was nervous... Especially not to him. Talks of overthrowing or simply killing Miranda had been increasingly common, and the man seemed more ecstatic than usual. Even if he was dead tired, his mood had increased tenfold once he realized just how close they were. Somehow, the thought of that excitement disappearing because of her was something that she found... distasteful.

And so, she stayed silent, heavily preferring to be cuddled against him in what little calm and silence they had. But it still gnawed at the back of her mind, and she unintentionally let out a quiet huff. He took notice, moving his arm slightly under her to simply hold her shoulder. She glanced up at him as he shifted under her head, only to meet a curious gaze.

"Hm?" He hummed quietly, only giving a slight smile as she shook her head and looked away. She wanted to say something... She just didn't know what or how

There was silence for a moment before she quietly spoke up.

"... Karl...?"

He tilted his head, glancing at her once more. "Yes, Emmy?"

"What..." she started, faltering just slightly, "... What will we do? Once Miranda is dead, I mean..."

Her voice held a genuine, scared curiosity as she looked up at him fully. He couldn't help but raise his brows in the slightest bit of surprise. She kept her fingers moving along his chest as she felt him adjust his arm again so he could run his fingers through her currently loose hair. He chuckled.

"Well, we do what we want!" He replied happily, leaning his head back once more. "Once that bitch is dead, I-..." he paused quickly before grinning. "WE will be free. Free to live, free to thrive. We won't be under her thumb. We do whatever the hell we want to do, Emmy."

"Free to live..." she repeated, her fingers mindlessly drifting along his skin. She paused her movements once the words fully settled. Never once did she realize how close freedom was... Not once did she realize exactly what freedom MEANT. The had talked about it from the first few months of her arrival years ago, but the concept now was... odd. "We'll be free... That means..."

"That means you can live a normal life." Heisenberg chuckled, watching her reactions carefully. "It IS what you've wanted, yes?"

Emelia stared at his chest for a moment before suddenly pushing herself up into a sitting position, ignoring the uncomfortable grunt she received as she left the comfort of his arm. She was silent, lifting her right arm and staring at her hand. 'Normal'... Why did the word sound so... impossible now? Sure, her dream of normalcy had stayed with her. But did 'normal' even exist at this point? She was a fucking mutant, for god sakes... She had accepted it years ago, of course, but...

"I can't live 'normally' anymore..." she sighed finally, reaching to rub the back of her neck. There was a small flutter in her chest as if the parasite sensed her silent distress. She could feel Heisenbergs eyes nearly bore holes into her back, turning her head away as she felt him sit up with another grunt. He settled himself into a sitting position, resting an arm over his leg.

"As normally as you can, then." He offered, his voice taking on a lighter tone. He then rolled his eyes with a quiet sigh as she gave a snort of disbelief. She jumped as he reached forward, taking her jaw in his hand and making her face him. "Look at me, Emelia." He said quietly. "We're all a bunch of freaks thanks to that bitch, there's no use being ashamed of it now. But with her dead, the world is OURS! 'Normal' is whatever the hell you make it."

"But the others-"

"Fuck the others!" He laughed suddenly. "They wouldn't know what to do without her direction, they'll fall like useless pawns. And if they don't, they'll scatter like the cowards they are."

Emelia stared at him for a moment with a raised brow before falling back onto the cushion with a huff and closing her eye.

"So you want to rule by yourself, then?" She asked, the slightest bit of amusement in her voice. He looked back at her with a chuckle.

"Well, yes, but not necessarily. We both know what my plans are. But more importantly..." he suddenly twisted himself slightly, leaning over her with his hands on either side of her shoulders. He smirked as a light blush entered her cheeks once she looked up at him, clearly not expecting him to even move. "What do YOU want, Emmy?"

"... What...?" She managed, calming slightly as he tilted his head.

"You're worried about not being 'normal' enough to live that way, and even I know your mind is hard to change. What do you want, then?"

"I..." she started, somewhat stunned. Well, there were a lot of answers to that question... She just didn't expect him to even ask. What DID she want...? He was right... She knew he was. The only issue was, she didn't have an answer for the first time in years. She couldn't have the life she wanted... What the hell COULD she do? She finally sighed, turning her head to the side with her missing eye towards him. "... I don't know..."

"You don't know?"

"N-No, I..." she tried, moving her hand to brush against his just slightly to calm the nerves that had started to show themselves. "I don't have many options."

"And what are the ones you DO have?" He questioned. He shifted his hand for her, allowing her to hold it just slightly. She shrugged.

"Well, I certainly can't return to where I came from before this... If I even knew where to go, that is..." she mumbled, moving her head to look at the room around them. "I'll most definitely be killed if I tried... Or tested on more if caught, god forbid the company remembers me enough to care. Though, I COULD travel..." she said thoughtfully, but she couldn't help but frown slightly at the thought. "... But..."

Heisenberg drew back in interest, arching a brow as she spoke.

"'But'?" He asked, watching her carefully. She shook her head slightly before finally meeting his gaze with a sigh.

"This... This is my home..." she replied quietly, a near sadness in the gold of her eye. "It wouldn't feel right if I left... I'm safe here, and it's not... not lonely. Travelling can't guarantee that."

"I guess that would result in loneliness, wouldn't it?" He asked casually.

She was silent, but nodded. Lonely wasn't exactly what she wanted to be after spending time around others like her now, specifically him. She took a nervous breath and held it for a moment, choosing her next words as carefully as she could. May as well tell him the truth of her thoughts, right...?

"Given the chance, I think..." she started, her voice lowering. "I think I would... stay here." She looked up at him with a slight bit of confidence, meeting his now somewhat surprised expression. "... With you."

She was met with silence before he suddenly let out a genuine laugh, lowering himself onto his elbows for his face to be closer to hers.

"You'd really stay with me, Emmy?" He asked, an amused smile on his face as her face brightened in color. But she soon relaxed, her lips twitching into the smallest smile. She felt much better with this reaction... Much better than she thought she would.

"You're an ignorant twit, Heisenberg..." she joked before chuckling lightly. "But... yes. If... If I could."

She was met with a chuckle from him as he leaned down slightly, his nose brushing against hers.

"Well, of course you can!" He grinned, earning a small laugh. "Hell, if you stay with me, I'll help make life for you normal."

"As 'normal' as possible..." she snorted, though she couldn't keep the smile from her face. The sentiment was... oddly comforting. "You'd really do that for me, Metalhead?"

"Anything for my favorite worker."

"Am I really?"

"Always have been, Emmy."

"Hm... I feel like that's a lie..." she joked, tilting her head slightly. She was met with another chuckle.

"Would I lie to you?" He asked. She shrugged, starting to reach up.

"You hate liars, but that doesn't mean you aren't one..." she replied, her fingers drifting along the scratchy hair of his beard. She felt... calm. Oddly calm, at that... She couldn't have even begun to understand why, even as she stared into the bright pale yellow eyes that she had admittedly, secretly, come to admire. She held his jaw for a moment before tugging him down slightly. He smiled.

"To freedom from Miranda." He said simply, following her movements slowly with a now large grin. Her own smile widened ever so slightly as his lips brushed hers.

"To freedom." She replied, her voice nearly a whisper.

She was met with a surprisingly gentle kiss, letting it settle before fully wrapping her raised arm around his shoulders. She was so used to this... So used to the 'affection'. So used to the quiet and comfort he gave despite the machines around them and even his own personality at times. She felt him chuckle into the kiss as she reached her other arm around his shoulders, and in turn couldn't help herself from doing the same as he pulled away and eased himself into the hug she gave.

"And what was that for?" He asked, amusement in his voice as he moved to press a light kiss against her jaw. She shrugged, a relaxed smile on her face.

"I'm... not sure." She admitted, watching as he propped himself up over her on his elbows once more. "Perhaps that's my 'normal' now..."

"Hm. Well, I hope that counts as the start of a full 'normal' for you from now on..."

Emelia kept her arms around his shoulders, her fingers running along what skin they could reach and tracing over smaller scars.

"Maybe..."

"'Maybe'?"

"You heard me, Metalhead."

Heisenberg laughed again, finally moving to lay down next to her once more and shifting his arm to rest under her head.

"You're always the odd one, Emelia. But please, do me a favor."

She returned to her place on his chest as he shifted, tilting her head slightly.

"Yes, Karl?" She looked up at him, surprised as she was met with a calm smile.

"Never stop smiling." He said simply. While it caught her off guard, she couldn't help but do just that.

"Once this is over with, I won't." She replied.

"You promise?"

She gave a laughing huff, pressing her face to his shoulder.

"Yes."

"Good."

[breitzbachbea]

☕ your ocs

I love the dumbasses. That's it -

Send me a ☕ and I'll talk how I feel about it

Okay, so, I've been writing since I've been ten or so. Probably tried to tell stories even longer. I had a BUNCH of OCs over the years, but retired all of them other than the LFLS ones. I still sometimes think of my old fanfictions and attempts at original work, but have zero interest in reviving any of it. One day I'll however write an essay on how my Card Kingdom Stories/Universe was definitely the Predecessor to the Like Father Like Son Universe.

I've had the current fuckers since 2013. My earliest OCs that are still in use are probably either my Hetalia City OCs (who've made it into LFLS as secret agents & police officers) or my Ireland, Northern Ireland and Wales OC. I can't remember how big the list I made in Excel is, but I think it was around 240 OCs. (Not sure if that is before or after detracting Hetalia canon characters or my friends' OCs for the AU. Hugo is Jonah's OC and Jani is responsible for pretty much all of the Icelanders in LFLS).

I love the kids so much and how different they are. I love how Hetalia lays the groundwork for me to explore the world we live in. Team Turkey is a Turk, a Kurd and an Assyrian! Team Belgium consists of Agnés Reynard, Charlotte Biayenda, whose a trans woman from the Democratic Republic of the Congo, and Luus Ratu Kikkert, a Dutch trans woman whose family came to the Netherlands from Indonesia generations ago! (She's the youngest sister of the Dutch right hands! Tim and Agnés are still brother and sister in the LFLS Universe). Team Belgium likes to go to the Place du Luxembourg on the weekends to fuck shit up, rub shoulders with lobbyists and parlamentarians and have a good time! Cocktail baby gay, Shots Older Sister and Wine Aunt are on the loose!

I could talk about every OC at least for two minutes, even if they're underdeveloped or THAT much of a sidecharacter that I can only give you very basic infos, some anecdotes or their general character concept. If they're very developed, god help us all because we'll be here for hours. (Help girl, I have concepts for the Norwegians, Danish, Egyptians and one Persian & Iraqui already. We'll work on the other half of these two teams when I did the barest of research on the region and characters). I'm having so much fun using my story as a vehicle to learn about the world and using what I learn about the world, its history and cultures to flesh out my universe & turn it into interesting stepping stones to exploring personalities & relationships.

Also hey, you don't even have to know my OCs to ask me about them, you can ask "Who's Team [Nation]?" or "What about [Nationality] subordinates?" Now, there's a lot of Hetalia characters I don't have OCs to accompany (yet), but especially in Europe, you could get lucky.

I fundamentally just love people. I love us in every shape and size we come in, I love how much we love and how much we hate each other. I love the Hetalia characters, I love the transformative aspect of fanfiction where I try to adhere as close as canon as possible while tweaking it for the AU - So I also then love to give them found families that explore facets of their country they simply cannot be. (e.g. Team Turkey, but also Adriana as Black American and Amitola [Name probably changing some point] as Wiyot Person. Selim, as person born to Turkish parents in Germany, is another favourite example.) More importantly, I like the creative freedom that isn't bound by the laws of Hetalia or anyone else, for that matter. They get to be anything I want them to be, without any further qualifications. It's the freedom of original fiction, which I love just as much as the fanfiction aspect. My kids give me the best of both worlds.

Thanks for asking, Shai! Also, if anyone is more curious about the kids, my storie nostre tag is all about them! Includes reblogs of posts that I feel represent them & my own writing with them. Every character also has their own tag.

[scottspack]

SO YOU JUST FINISHED THE UNTAMED AND YOU WANT TO READ SOME FIC

Congratulations Jen @jlf23tumble on finishing The Untamed (tomorrow)! Now that you’re done with the show (tomorrow), you can finally dive into the wide and wonderful world of untamed fic!!! I’m ecstatic to be personally curating your reading experience! LET’S BEGIN!

I’ve started off with a list of 5 fics I think you should read in this specific order to 1. get some resolution from the end of the show and 2. get you acclimated to untamed fics! Then, I’ve listed a bunch of fics in different categories for your perusal to read at your leisure! This is an unbelievably long post holy shit brace yourself.

I’m like fairly certain that all of these follow the tv show canon BUT also its very typical for authors to combine many aspects of all of the different forms of canons to their liking. Therefore, I feel like I need to give a quick explanation of a couple things from the novel that show up frequently in fics that idk if you know already or not:

In the book, when Wei Wuxian is resurrected, he is brought back in Mo Xuanyu’s actual body and has his face and everything. Mo Xuanyu was pretty young when he died, I wanna say maybe 17 or 18??? and he was also short and pretty and flamboyantly gay. This is where the references to their crazy height difference come from, but again, I think I tried to include mostly fics that skew more heavily to the tv version where WWX keeps his same body and he and LWJ are more evenly matched physically.

Its novel canon that LWJ smells like sandalwood incense and has golden colored eyes. This is mentioned in like almost every single wangxian fic ive ever read, even if the author said they were strictly adhering to show canon lol

At the end of the novel wangxian run away together and elope! Obviously in the show that’s not how it goes down, but I think a couple of the fics I’ve recced might mention it in passing. (Oh also when they elope they make a pact to fuck “everyday,” a concept that might be mentioned as well.

Obviously, we have to kick it off with some fics that both reunite wangxian and give more resolution to the actual show. If you’re like me, it both took you a while to get all the way through the show AND took 100% of your brain power to remember all of the characters and plot lines. If that’s that case: these fics should be helpful in serving as a kind of emotional refresher for the show to wrap up some loose ends and to dive deeper into some of the things the show glosses over for one reason or another!

1. A Lot of Edges Called Perhaps by hansbekhart (Wangxian, E, 21k) 

The funny part is - and it is a little funny, even if Wei Wuxian has no one left to share the joke with - they never have. Not anything. He has never kissed any part of Lan Zhan besides his slim hands; never been even partially undressed with him anywhere besides a miserable, xuanwu-infested cave. It’s always been like this between them, this simmering need, this desperate understanding: a knowledge so deep that it lives somewhere in his bones, that if he wanted to have Lan Zhan he could have him, and if Lan Zhan wanted Wei Wuxian he could have that too. But they never have.

I found this fic on someone’s blog when they said that it was the definitive fic to read directly after finishing the series so i saved it, read it directly after finishing the series, and felt COMPLETE. Beautifully written, seamlessly fits with canon, and has a super fulfilling resolution. The perfect way to kick off reading untamed fic!

2. One Rogue Spark In My Direction by hansbekhart (Lan Wangji/Xiao Xingchen/Song Lan, E, 5k)

He’d thought, in Yueyang, that they’d seen something in each other, something familiar. That maybe they’d recognized something in him. But it’s been many years, and many things have happened since, and he’s guessed wrongly at other people’s hearts before. Lan Wangji looks back down at the table, at his steaming, bitter tea. He’ll beg if he has to.

In “A Lot Of Edges Called Perhaps” Wangji mentions that he has had sex before and this is the in-universe story of that time and WHEW BABY!!!! AHHHHHH!!! While this fic is like, almost pure smut, I think there is a ton of value to it in terms of emotional perspective on how fucked up LWJ was after WWX’s death. Also, it’s very hot.

3. Gathered Herbs & Sweet Grasses by hansbekhart (Laz Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

Later, when he’s older, it’s this that A-Yuan will remember most: the stretch of silence, the two of them both dirty and shaking with fever, as he looked at Brother Rich, and Brother Rich looked back at him.

This is a fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui from when he rescues Sizhui from the Burial Mounds until they bring WWX back to the Cloud Recesses after he’s resurrected. It made me cry about 18 times and I consider it fully canon in relation to the show. I think this gives a lot of emotional depth to the Wangji/Sizhui family relationship that is very important in most fics, so this acts as a good base since the show doesn’t really talk about it too much.

4. Your Name, Safe In Their Mouth by astrolesbian (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, G, 10k)

“You’ve got a fever,” Wei Wuxian says soothingly. “You just keep still as well as you can. We’ll have you fixed up soon.”

Lan Sizhui recognizes his tone—this is the voice that Wei Wuxian uses on hurt people and young children, a very calm and no-nonsense voice that has none of the mischief and cheer of the way he sounds the rest of the time. Lan Sizhui looks up and meets his eyes, and they are dark, stormy gray, muddled and concerned.

“I’m all right,” he croaks.

“Hush,” Wei Wuxian says, in a low croon, like someone quieting a baby. Then he blinks, and looks away, awkward. “I mean—you shouldn’t speak. You’re tired. Rest if you need to.”

or: lan sizhui gets sick on a night hunt. wei wuxian comforts him. they both have a lot of feelings about it.

The Wei Wuxian and Sizhui bonding fic that I so desperately desperately needed to read. Since we got the emotional depth to Wangji/Sizhui in the last fic, here’s some emotional resolution for Sizhui and his other dad!!!!!!!!!! Scratched the very particular itch of “but have they REALLY talked about what it means that they’re reunited after 16 years???”

5. climbing up that coastal shelf by Sour_Idealist (Jin Ling, Jiang Cheng, & Wei Wuxian, T, 15k)

Jin Ling had begun to suspect years ago that there were parts of his family history that had been crossed out; long streaks of black where Wei Wuxian had been. The truth is more like whole books being brought up from their hiding places again.

Or: Jin Ling tries to figure out what family means, now.

OKAY!!!! Last emotional resolution before I send you on your way to explore! This is the emotional resolution for the other half of WWX’s family. Featuring just a FUCK TON of family feels and a lot of TALKING that this fucked up family needs so damn bad. *chefs kiss* muy delicioso! ALSO i think this is a good introduction to a lot of the naming conventions that are used frequently in untamed fic that took me a while to pick up on!

WHEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now that you’ve gotten some post-show catharsis in the form of a few extremely well-written fics, it’s time for a full rec! I’ve divided it up into seven categories: long fics, smutty one-shots, 3zun (lan xichen/nie mingjue/meng yao) fics, fics about the juniors, family fun fics, some miscellaneous fics, and then some yizhan RPF! I wouldn’t have put any of these fics on here if I didn’t think they were worth reading, BUT! I did mark my particular favorites with asterisks to demark the crème de la crème of the bunch. SO! LET’S DIVE IN!

EPIC TALES (LONG AND/OR IMMERSIVE)

My Age Has Never Made Me Wise by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 63k) ***

“We hear that His Excellency might be married by summer’s end,” the merchant’s wife says and Wei Wuxian freezes, his heart in his throat. “The Gusu Lan sect has been buying enough red silk and brocade that the merchants in Caiyi can’t satisfy the demand.”

He feels himself grow brittle inside, like a flick of a finger to his temple might make him shatter. His ears are ringing.

“Who’s the lucky bride?” he asks despite himself. His tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth.

Or: The story of a marriage.

I LOVE THIS FIC. YOU MUST PROMISE ME YOU’LL READ THIS FIC. The absolute best kind of slow burn and I think such an extremely accurate representation of the canon material. I’m always surprised by the authors in this fandom’s ability to write shit that is so concretely grounded in the universe. This could and should be a real companion novel. Amazing. I love it. (Also I know you said you’re not into fics that are long just to be long and I think this fic is the exact opposite of that, it’s long but for good reason and has such an insanely satisfying payoff that it’s completely worth dedicating a few hours to!)

The Year of Drought by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 24k)

Wei Ying could not be contained by the walls of the Cloud Recesses, alive again and overflowing with it, bursting like a dam in spring with the force of two lives unspent. And so he had to go. Lan Wangji understands that—he understood it when Wei Ying told him of his plans, looking at Lan Wangji above the rim of his cup with an apologetic smile, like craving freedom was something to apologize for.

Wei Ying would go, and Lan Wangji would see him off; this has always been the only way it could be.

Or: In the absence of Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji waits.

The previous fic but from Wangji’s perspective. Absolutely required reading if you read the other one. Wangji baby.......i love you.....

further than the grave by idrilka (Wangxian, E, 32k)

There is something about grief that turns Lan Wangji numb. He cannot be certain if it is not some kind of defect inside him that makes him so. But just as he grieved his mother’s passing with dry eyes and a stone in his chest, so he grieves Wei Ying: quietly, frozen inside, without tears. Beyond the Jingshi window it might be spring, but Lan Wangji’s body and mind are still held within the winter’s grasp.

As the anniversary of his leaving seclusion approaches, Lan Wangji ponders the nature of grief and healing.

One last fic from the same verse as the previous two, this talks about Wangji post-WWX’s death and then them dealing with the past post-marriage. Its just as good and immersive and amazing as the previous two parts, but this is the only untamed fic that actually made me gasp out loud and if you read this and can guess what it was we will be best friends forever. (There are two other fics in this verse that are also good but these three in particular are god-tier in my eyes.)

Vagabond by xantissa (Wangxian, E, 66k)

Wei Wuxian comes back to Cloud Recesses after a year of wandering the world, hoping to start a relationship with Lan Zhan. He doesn’t expect to come into the middle of a case of sleeping sickness mysteriously killing people, nor does he expect what follows, putting everything he holds dear on the line once again.

OOOWEE CASE FIC! CASE FIC! This is truly the twisty turny intense and INTERESTING type of fic from this fandom that blows my mind. This could fully be a stand alone novel its that good and there’s that much to it. Another one that isn’t long just to be long, it has so much PLOT!!!!! REAL GOOD SHIT!

Seldom All They Seem by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 25k)

or, one hundred and thirty-three principles of the Gusu Lan, pertaining to the state of marriage

***

He bows to Wei Wuxian, sword in hand, sleeves falling properly. Wei Wuxian bows in return, and the sect leaders begin the opening courtesies, and for all of ten minutes Lan Wangji is under the impression that he is betrothed to a boy who is perfectly normal and acceptable apart from an unfortunate tendency to fidget with his clothes.

That impression does not last.

A canon-divergent fic exploring “what if Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian were betrothed from when they were young like Yanli and Jin Zixuan?” It’s extremely good and very compelling and also made me cry multiple times. (The confrontation in the rain doesn’t get any easier even if they’re betrothed!)

Half Cloak & Half Dagger by Fahye (Lan Xichen/Meng Yao, E, 13k)

Jin Guangyao lifts his head and smiles. "I'm considering a problem."

"Can I be of any assistance with it?"

He drops a kiss on Lan Xichen's chest. With the nail of one finger he lightly traces the characters for irony on Lan Xichen's side. "Not this one, er-ge."

A follow-up fic set in the “Seldom All They Seem” universe but focused on xiyao. Has hands down the best written characterization of meng yao in any fic ive read so far. I continuously come back to this fic just to read the absolutely genius way this author writes the Head Bitch In Control of the cultivation world.

The Absolutely True Story of the Yiling Patriarch: A Manifesto in Many Parts by aubreyli (Wangxian, T, 20k)

Wei Wuxian’s hand jolts, spilling a drop of wine onto the tabletop. “Love?” he croaks, then clears his throat and tries again. “Lan Zh— uh, Hanguang-jun, in love?”

“Have you not heard the story?” the other young woman asks, looking pitying. “You must, it is a truly heartrending tale of star-crossed romance and mutual pining — go to any storyhouse in town, everyone has been requesting a reading of this book.”

“There’s a book?” Wei Wuxian says blankly.

In which the junior disciples (namely, Lan Jingyi, Ouyang Zizhen, and a reluctant Lan Sizhui) turn to RPF in an attempt to rehabilitate Wei Wuxian's reputation so that he and Hanguang-jun can get together and get married and live happily ever after. It's... surprisingly effective.

I kept avoiding this fic, even though it was really high up on the list of most popular fics in the fandom, bc the premise sounded pretty goofy BUT I finally bit the bullet one day and AHHHHHHHH!!!!! Very very very cute and fun, made me smile like an idiot throughout the entire thing. Heartwarming and very well written!!!

never let me go by yiqie (Wangxian, E, 69k)

Wei Wuxian has certainly hoped so ardently in his two lifetimes, for so many different things, in so many different ways, that he could have summoned the demon to his front door with his bare hands. His eyes wander to Lan Zhan, settle on the back of his head, the blue-black curtain of his hair. Oh, how he has hoped.

Another extremely good and super immersive case fic. If you ever just want to sink really deep into an untamed fic, this is a great one for it.

hunters seeking solid ground by Attila (Wangxian, E, 24k)

“Hanguang-jun,” Wei Wuxian repeats. His heart clenches. He wants—but he’d really meant to have this nightmare stuff down before they met again, so he wouldn’t find himself relying on Lan Wangji’s nearness. He’s not supposed to go back yet. But he’s so tired, and his will crumbles. “Yeah,” he says. “All right. Take me back to Gusu with you.”

You want hurt/comfort? I gotcha hurt/comfort RIGHT HERE!

shadows in the sun rise by Yuu_chi (Wangxian, E, 25k) ***

“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, voice slow and a pitch too quiet. A second later Wei Wuxian understands why. “I cannot hear.”

Or; Lan Wangji is cursed into internal isolation. Their ability to understand one another remains as unwavering as ever.

OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD. I have been thinking about this fic nonstop since I read it. It is…..fucking incredible. One of the best qualities of wangxian is that they’re so in tune with each other and able to work so cohesively with little communication and this fic is like “what if we take that and DIAL IT UP TO ELEVEN” and i was like AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

I hope that you will come and meet me by feyburner (Wangxian, M, 28k) ***

The second time Lan Zhan said Wei Ying, come back, Wei Wuxian did.

okay so this is literally getting added to the fic rec one day before i send it to you because i just finished it and WHEW BABY!!!!! YES it is just another wangxian post-canon reunion get-together fic, BUT 1. i cant get enough of that specific brand of fic and 2. ITS SO GOOD. ITS. SO. GOOD. achingly tender and incredibly soft but also funny and sweet and very in-character! i love it!

THE BONE ZONE (WANGXIAN SMUT)

Sweet Night by corteae (Wangxian, E, 10k)

It was like coming back to life again, like being restitched into existence, cell by cell, nerve by nerve. From the surface of his skin to the marrow of his bones, everything new and purposeful. Like being pulled back from oblivion into an embrace of pure light. A feeling of absolute asylum.

That’s what it felt like, to realize Lan Wangji was in love with him.

An in-show au of “what if they just admitted they’re in love and fucked during episode 43?” Soft and romantic and hot!

the crucial point by dissembler (Wangxian, E, 7k) ***

Months after parting on the mountain, Lan Wangji makes up his mind, plots his course on a map, and has faith.

I LOVE THIS FIC! Very realistic and sweet wangxian reunion fic from wangji’s perspective. Has so many good little details and is very true to their characters. Good shit. Great.

Stainless by Fahye (Wangxian, E, 6k)

"I'm starting to feel," says Lan Xichen, "that this was a counterproductive suggestion."

Wei Wuxian looks down onto the pristine, tranquil cold springs of the Cloud Recesses. Sitting in the water, their bare shoulders rising like dumplings carefully spaced in a steaming-basket, are a large number of Lan disciples.

"They seem to be doing better," he says, encouragingly. "If they--oh, no, I see what you mean."

At the near bank, someone has pressed someone else against the rocks and is kissing them frantically.

What is getting into a new pairing if not an excuse to read sex pollen in new and exciting ways!

To Recklessly Confess by la_dissonance (Wangxian, E, 8k)

Lan Wangji has a fantasy. Wei Wuxian gets several clues.

The “what if they just fucked in episode 43” au but from a different angle.

all the depths of me, real by northofallmusic (Wangxian, E, 15k)

Wei Wuxian is dealing with a curse a little worse than he'd like to let on, and Lan Zhan is a little less than willing to let it slide.

Another “what if they just fucked in the show” fic, this time set when WWX has the curse on his leg and Wangji has to carry him back to the inn. 

Every Day, Learning More by phnelt (Wangxian, E, 6k)

The pink was high on Wei Wuxian’s cheeks. “I mean I haven’t been able to… that I can’t. Not without you.”

Lan Wangji stared. “In this body, the whole time you’ve had it -- you’ve never…”

Wei Wuxian kicked his heels into Lan Wangji’s back. “I just said that!”

I knew at least one of these was more book verse than show! WWX hasn’t been able to jerk off in his new body, LWJ helps him out :-)

the meaning of the ritual by newamsterdam (Wangxian, E, 8k)

“Lan Zhan… wants to bed me?”

The hand on his chest is shaking, slightly. “Mn.”

“Oh,” Wei Wuxian breaths out.

There’s something— something powerful, about that. Lan Wangji wants to bed him. Lan Wangji wants to sleep with him. Lan Wangji wants to touch him, and kiss him. The immovable, implacable Second Master of Lan, with a face and principles both carved from jade, wants him.

“Is this a fantasy of yours?” Wei Wuxian asks. “Forcing all the demonic energy out of me with your—”

Lan Wangji claps a hand over his mouth. “Silence, now.”

When the entire cultivation world turns against the Yiling Patriarch, Wei Wuxian makes a risky gamble— he'll agree to participate in an ancient ritual for cleansing the spirit, so that his character can no longer be called into question. The catch? He has no idea who his partner for the ritual will be.

This is also book-verse! As the tag says “Let Lan Wangji Fuck the Yiling Patriarch”!!!!!!!!!!!

Hurricane by gdgdbaby (Wangxian, E, 6k) ***

"Haven't you heard?" Nie Huaisang replied, clicking his tongue, though he was clearly pleased that he could be the one to break the news. He leaned in to announce with a dramatic flourish: "Lan Wangji just took emergency family leave this past weekend."

WANGXIAN AS SPIRK STAR TREK PON FAR AU!!!!!!!!!!!!! WEEWOO WEEWOO WEEWOO!!!!!!!! This was actually recced to ME by CHI and I have not stopped thinking about this fic for a full month. It’s like author gdgdbaby sat down one day and was like “Tumblr user Liv Scottspack deserves everything she wants in this life.” and then wrote this fic. Thank you author gdgdbaby, I love you.

WORLD’S WORST THROUPLE (3ZUN)

The body is a blade by rheawrites (3zun, E, 2k) ***

In which Lan Xichen is taken by surprise, Nie Mingjue takes what he can get, and Meng Yao gets what he wants.

This was the first 3zun fic I ever read and whew baby, got it in one! It’s actually a slight AU but it gets their characterization so right and is a very fun read. One of those fics I go back to frequently because it does so much with so few words.

shang tiantang by fuckwarlock (3zun, E, 4k)

They wanted so much, and with the way A-Yao gasps at the saber-calloused hand unfastening his belts, he does, too. The night air twirls with the scents of osmanthus and cinnamon and melon. Lan Xichen smiles, leans in, and ghosts his lips over the crook of A-Yao’s neck. What kind of brother would he be if he didn’t give A-Yao what he wanted? “I think it’s your turn to ascend, A-Yao.”

The Venerated Triad celebrates the Mid-Autumn Festival the best way they know how.

Truly the only way the venerated triad works is if meng yao gets Destroyed :-)

Favour and Fate by soulgusttheguardian (3zun, E, 8k)

There have been times in Meng Yao’s life when he couldn’t help but wonder how he came to be in his current situation. Found himself reflecting on the choices leading up to whatever misfortune had befallen him that day, and pondering why fate hated him so.

Granted, there had also been times when he couldn't help but wonder just what he had done to earn the favour necessary to be rewarded with certain things...

The current situation he found himself to be in, however, was definitely the latter.

More of the same! Truly I personally can never get enough of the 3zun dynamic in smut fics its just too goddamn motherfucking GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!

the stars do not take sides by everyearning (3zun, E, 4k)

Mingjue isn’t sure he’s ever seen Xichen do anything other than treat the boy like a porcelain doll and it’s laughable to him, to think of Meng Yao as something breakable, instead of the sharp, deadly object he is.

Okay one last “Destroy Meng Yao” 3zun fic! Enjoy!

never as alive as we are right now by ThirtySixSaveFiles (3zun, E, 12k)

Three perspectives on three sworn brothers, at three different times in their relationship.

(Or, three times 3zun got it on and some of the feelings they had along the way.)

Wait actually I want to end the 3zun fics on this one because it has true Emotional Resolution at the end and I think they deserve a little healing.

BABY BOYS. BABIES. (THE JUNIORS)

A Civil Combpaign by Ariaste (Jin Ling/Lan Sizhui, T, 20k) ***

“And,” said one of the pompous ministers, “there’s the matter of a marriage to consider as well!”

Jin Ling, who at the beginning of that sentence had expected to slam into the very last wall of his patience and lose his temper entirely, paused. “A what?”

Thing was… it wasn’t such a bad idea.

A MUST-FUCKING-READ!!! Jin Ling gets it in his head that as sect leader he should get married and sets his sights on Lan Sizhui. I cannot stress enough how FUCKING CUTE this fic is!!! Sizhui being the best boy! Jin Ling having more uncles than he knows what to do with! Jiang Cheng being the worst at relationship advice! It’s so fucking good it love it so much.

Anyway, Here’s Wuji by kakikaeru (Lan Jingyi/Lan Sizhui, T, 18k)

The melody gets a little clearer when he breaks out of the trees, and Jingyi changes course with certainty, barreling down the back hill and through the Cloud Recesses, dodging scandalized disciples left and right. He throws open the doors to the Receiving Hall without announcement and bows nearly double, eyes on the floor instead of on the shocked faces of the Mei delegation and the impenetrable gaze of the Chief Cultivator.

"Forgive this disciple," Jingyi shouts, because he's going to get punished for rule breaking regardless. "From the back hill, Hanguang-jun, there is a song in the wind!"

Lan Jingyi comes of age.

A Jingyi-central fic about Jingyi growing up and falling in love and being a hero and being the second best boy of my heart right after Sizhui. Not only is this fic sweet and romantic but it’s another one that explores a lot of interesting things within canon and all of the supporting characters are written very well and are just as interesting as second best boy Jingyi.

Ok, JiuJiu by kakikaeru (Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen, T, 16k)

Uncle's jaw works in the way that suggests he's about to say something irredeemable. Jin Ling, in a move of diplomacy he hopes the Chief Cultivator appreciates, distracts him with spicy food and his favourite subject: the incompetence of his own officials.

"I hear the lakes in the south east are having drainage problems?" he asks nonchalantly, sticking three big slices of braised pork belly into his Uncle's bowl.

Jin Ling just wants to get through the Discussion Conference with his Sect, his dignity, and his heart intact.

A follow up fic to “Anyways, Here’s Wuji.” I LOVE the Jin Ling/Ouyang Zizhen dynamic of Jin Ling having been raised by Jiang “I keep all my emotions right here and then one day I’ll die” Cheng AND being hopelessly charmed and smitten with Ouyang “President of the I Love Love Romance Novel Book Club” Zizhen! I LOVE IT! EXTREMELY CUTE!

Lan Sizhui's Guide to Courtship by Kimblydot (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, T, 23k)

In which Jingyi is a little oblivious, Sizhui is patient (and should have said something in the beginning), and everyone else is resigned to watching them dance around each other for far longer than necessary.

(Or: five things Sizhui tries to do in his courtship, and the one time Jingyi realizes there was one happening in the first place.)

I’ll stop describing fics about the juniors as being “cute” when they stop being SO FUCKING CUUUUUUUUUUTTTTTTTEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

His Merit All My Fear by violettressed (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, G, 16k)

It’s too late for any of Hanguang-Jun’s rabbits to be awake -- one of the sundown chores for young disciples is to herd them back into their hutch -- but the rabbit field is as good a spot as any for quality sulking, so Lan Jingyi makes his way there.

Someone has beat him to it.

Lan Jingyi stares at Hanguang-Jun. Hanguang-Jun stares passively back.

When Lan Sizhui is swept away with the Ghost General, off on a new adventure, Lan Jingyi is the one who returns to Cloud Recesses alone.

Not only another extremely cute Sizhui/Jingyi fic BUT one that includes a Wangji/Jingyi friendship??? Incroyable! *chefs kiss*

spirit running wild by idrilka (Lan Sizhui/Lan Jingyi, E, 17k)

He doesn’t know, exactly, when the friendship he shared with Sizhui over the years has changed into something that’s made Jingyi finally understand why Hanguang-Jun always wears that expression whenever he looks at Senior Wei. There hasn’t been one single moment that he can point to and say, yes, this is where it started, because the thing about falling in love with your best friend is that it happens gradually, until it’s impossible to tell which step has been the deciding one.

Jingyi goes to Baling with a crush.

Written by the same genius that wrote the first three fics I made you read so you know it’s good. Its truly the childhood best friends to lovers of it all! Sizhui is adorable and Jingyi is a mess! *muah!*

FAMILY FUN TIME (NO ROMANCE, JUST FEELS)

Grow by cafecliche (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 14k)

“Okay,” Jingyi says, as Sizhui puzzles this out aloud. “Okay! So the demon has been turning its victims into children.”

“I think so,” Sizhui says.

“To make them easier prey,” Jingyi says.

“Yes,” Sizhui says.

“So—” Jingyi’s voice cracks here, “this kid is Senior Wei.”

Wei Wuxian, still tangled in his own massive robes, blinks politely at them.

(Or: Wei Wuxian is cursed on a night-hunt, and the junior quartet rapidly finds themselves in over their heads.)

What I expected to be a goofy, silly fic turned out to be extremely emotional and made me FULLY CRY! It’s a very moving fic about Sizhui coming to understand himself and Wei Wuxian a lot better AND features all of the juniors arguing over who’s turn it is to hold 6 year old Wei Wuxian. A true win/win of a fic.

To The Act of Making Noise by words-writ-in-starlight (Lan Sizhui & Lan Wangji, G, 19k)

His father in white plays the song late into the night, and when A-Yuan wakes up confused and afraid, the guqin lulls him back to sleep.

Lan Sizhui hears his father play the same song every night for his whole life, and never, ever get an answer.

Another very moving and heartwarming fic about Lan Wangji raising Sizhui and Sizhui figuring out Wangji’s past and then eventually reconnecting with Wei Wuxian. It’s cute and soft and Sizhui is my best boy!

History (Proud To Call Your Own) by words-writ-in-starlight (Wen Ning, G, 5k)

“A-Yuan? Um—Lan-gongzi,” Wen Ning corrects, trying to set a good example. The children are young, seven and eight, exactly a dozen of them lined up in two crisp lines of tiny blue and white robes. Wen Ning can feel them staring at him, even though most of them have already mastered that Lan trick of neutrality. The smallest, a little girl with liquid dark eyes, is clinging to her nearest shijie’s sleeve and half-hiding. “Can I—what can I do for you?”

Wen Ning gets himself recruited for services, while he and Sizhui are visiting Cloud Recesses. Wei Wuxian gets a fan club.

Set in the same universe as “To The Act of Making Noise,” a very cute fic about Wen Ning finding his place in the post-canon world and being proud of Sizhui and being the world’s best substitute teacher. As the official Wen Ning Fan Club President, I had to include this.

the stone-filled sea by yukla (Lan Sizhui & Wei Wuxian, T, 9k) ***

He forgets how quickly Wei-qianbei changes faces, sometimes. Like pulling a theater mask over a bruise—color over color, a diversion with the swipe of his hand.

Lan Sizhui navigates a world that hates his father, one endless wave at a time.

Oh man oh man. I will never get enough of the fics where Sizhui (and the rest of the juniors) get ANGRY on Wei Wuxian’s behalf!! That’s their dad and their teacher and their friend and they will DEFEND HIM!!! YEAH BAYBEEEEEEEEEE!!!

PICK & MIX (MISCELLANEOUS)

This Side of Paradise by greenfionn (Wei Wuxian/Wen Qing, E, 3k)

Wei Wuxian does some very quick math in his head that goes something like this: He is pretty sure he’s in love with Lan Zhan - Lan Zhan is not here and likely never will be here - Wen Qing is here, not to mention very hot and let us not forget, actually interested in sex with him - there’s a solid chance he goes genuinely crazy or dies, or both, in the next few months and really, who wants to die a virgin?

Listen.......the fic premise is “Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing, noted bisexuals, figure life sucks enough at the Burial Mounds, they might as well have any fun they can before they die” and........I Am Looking Directly At It. It features Wen Qing bossing Wei Wuxian around and Wei Wuxian’s canon he-wants-to-be-pregnant kink. It’s........I liked it.

palm to palm is holy palmers’ kiss by iodhadh (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, M, 15k) ***

The realization strikes Song Lan like a bolt of lightning: Xiao Xingchen laughs, and he wants with a sudden, stunning desperation to kiss the mirth from his beautiful mouth. How, precisely, he is meant to manage that—that, he has no idea at all.

Or: introspective meditations on touch, trust, and the problem of desire.

I Am Baby and for some reason cannot handle how sad the entire Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen storyline ended up so I rarely read songchen fics, and when I do they’re always soft pre-canon fics like this one. Luckily there are some very beautiful and moving pre-canon songchen fics!!! I love you fandom!!

purpose and ritual by iodhadh (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, E, 8k)

Song Zichen has beautiful hands. He's a powerful swordsman, strong and skilled, unfairly impressive and unreasonably handsome. He is devoted and self-disciplined and he takes direction like a dream. And he doesn't touch people—no one at all, if he can help it, except for Xiao Xingchen.

The poets might call him a saint, but Xiao Xingchen is so very, very human.

More of the same :-)

born to sweet delight by la_dissonance (Song Lan/Xiao Xingchen, E, 10k)

Xiao Xingchen lightly jumps into the center of the pool, the water a shock that cools his sticky, heated skin, and does nothing for the heat building inside him. When he surfaces, pushing the hair out of his face, he finds Song Lan's gaze and meets it. Between them, everything goes both ways. What Song Lan will offer, Xiao Xingchen will freely give too.

Or, Xiao Xingchen and Song Lan meet, pledge their lives to each other, and then fall in love.

This is about the angstiest I will go for songchen and its still absolutely Baby Soft lmfao!!!!!!

Pin it down by rheawrites (Jiang Yanli/Jin Zixuan, Jin Zixuan/Nie Mingjue, E, 2k)

“Yanli, I did not lie on our wedding night. You are the only woman I have gone to bed with. But… there was a man.”

“Oh?” Yanli blinks up at him. She does not appear horrified, or betrayed, which is surely a good sign.

Jin Zixuan swallows. “It was Sect Leader Nie,” he says quickly, as though that will make it easier.

“…Oh,” says Yanli, and her eyes are dark.

-

Jin Zixuan tells his wife a war story. Or, two thousand words of Jin Zixuan getting railed.

Have you ever looked at Jin Zixuan and been like “I bet that mf likes getting PEGGED!!!!!!!!” Well here’s the fic for you. 

*YIBO VOICE* DIDI LOVES YOU! (YIZHAN RPF)

never really over by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 10k)

The thing is: it would be good to see Xiao Zhan again — if Yibo could just trust himself to be normal.

Author gdgdbaby is the yizhan master, so here are five of my personal favorites of their fics, starting with this post-filming reunion fic that was the first yizhan fic I ever read and HIT real good after having just finished the show myself.

pedagogy by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 17k) ***

Yibo opens his mouth and says, "I want to learn," barreling past the rapid rise of Xiao Zhan's eyebrows. "To last longer. Will you teach me?"

Quick-fire Yibo comes too easily and Xiao Zhan helps train him to last longer :-)

you’re the reason that i just can’t concentrate by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 10k)

Xiao Zhan hears about it from Yu Bin, which probably should've been the first warning sign.

Yibo was only 20 when they filmed the untamed, which lends itself perfectly to fics like this.

a truth so loud you can’t ignore by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 5k)

It's their last day of filming in Hengdian when the secret comes out.

If yibo has to be a fictional virgin than SO DOES XIAO ZHAN!

if you would only let you by gdgdbaby (Yizhan, E, 32k) ***

"Well?" Yibo demands. Past the severe frown tugging at the corners of his mouth, a flicker of the old him slips through, the persistent boy who shoved his way into Xiao Zhan's space without a second thought and made a home for himself there. "Are you coming or not?"

Xiao Zhan's heart twists. He forcibly settles it back in his chest. He's only told Yibo no once in his entire life, and it was already the hardest thing he's ever had to do. "Okay," Xiao Zhan murmurs, quiet but decisive, and thumbs his phone off. "Let's go."

Like I said, all gdgdbaby fics are incredibly good, super well written, and very hot, but this one does stand out from the bunch for being a Full Epic Romance! This is one of Chi’s favorite fics so that should speak to it’s quality!

baby, who’s counting by nobirdstofly (Yizhan, E, 12k)

Xiao Zhan gasps, trying to rein in another peal of giggles. “What do I owe you anyway?”

Yibo shrugs one shoulder, and his smirk deepens. “Haven’t decided.”

Xiao Zhan’s still staring at him, laughter gone in his dry throat, when he hears someone yell for a reset. Yibo’s eyes are so, so dark, and he hasn’t stopped watching Xiao Zhan this whole time. Xiao Zhan swallows, nods, and pushes every dirty thought out of his head.

(Or: Yibo bets Xiao Zhan he'll break first during a take, Xiao Zhan loses, and it's all downhill from there.)

Ah sex bets, who doesn’t love sex bets!

Mystery Dance by mrsronweasley (Yizhan, E, 16k)

"That? That's your confession?" Yibo's toppled onto Xiao Zhan's side and is clutching his shoulder, trying not to fall over. "That's pathetic!"

"Oh, what, you can do better?" Zhuocheng is pretty flushed and there's a challenge in his voice that Yibo just can't walk away from.

"Hell yeah, I can. Hit me, Yu Bin." Yu Bin cheers and refills Yibo's shot glass. "All right!" Yibo downs the shot, gags only slightly, and says, "Everyone! I'm a fucking virgin!"

WHAT’S better than a Yibo virgin fic? A SECOND YIBO VIRGIN FIC!

This author also writes extremely good yizhan threesomes so here’s three of them!

Some Nights by mrsronweasley (Yizhan/Xuan Lu (Jiang Yanli), E, 2k)

Xuan Lu opened her legs to him and Xiao Zhan wasted no time diving in. He pressed his mouth against her pussy, licking her out steadily as her thighs trembled around him. She was nestled between Yibo's legs and if Xiao Zhan looked up, not only could he see the planes of her body, her small breasts going up and down with her breathing, ribs expanding, her tipped back head and open mouth, but Yibo, gaze boring into Xiao Zhan's as he ate Xuan Lu out.

The entire cast is hot and there is no reason they shouldn’t ALL fuck! Not one reason!!!!!!

gege loves you by mrsronweasley (Yizhan/Wang Zhuocheng (Jiang Cheng)), E, 7k)

"We are very sorry," Xiao Zhan murmured as he unbuttoned Zhuocheng's jeans while Yibo kissed his ear, "for how we've been acting."

"Is this how you apologize to everyone," Zhuocheng panted, hands already going for his zipper to help Xiao Zhan along, "or am I special?"

WHEW LORD!!!!!!!!! WHEW!!!!!!!

Talking in the Dark by mrsronweasley (Yizhan (Side Xiao Zhan/M/F), E, 14k)

Xiao Zhan has a light-hearted romp of a threeway with some friends, then makes the mistake of telling Yibo. It goes down.

A non-yizhan threesome BUT features jealous!yibo which is a ton of fun.

Finally, a couple AUs!

With Joy and Purpose by feenwitch (Yizhan, E, 30k) ***

Yibo has been alone for approximately five Earth years when Xiao Zhan crash lands on his planet.

YIZHAN ANDROID AU!!!!!!!! This is a very star trek-esque universe which is fun, but the fic itself is also CRAZY interesting and moving and beautiful!!!!!!!!! It’s A LOT! This was a rec from Nina, so thank you Nina!

Bound With a Same-Heart Knot by mrsronweasley (Yizhan, E, 59k)

London, 1892. Xiao Zhan, a promising young attache at the Chinese embassy is tasked with showing the new ambassador's son Wang Yibo around London. The inevitable happens.

Victorian AU! I actually think you already read this, but included for posterity.

AND SCENE! This is the result of two months of daily fic reading, having 50 tabs of fic open at any given time, reading truly anything and everything, and Loving The Untamed. I’m SO EXCITED you’re diving into fic for this show and I can’t wait to talk to you about all of them and to have someone to scream with! WOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

[infinitegalahad]

Falling For High School! Snafu Would Include...

This is going to be apart of a series. Just an idea I had roaming in my head! It’s pretty bad but I just had to get this out here. High School! Snafu is an interesting concept...✨✨

You met Snafu in your French class sophomore year

You originally knew him as Merriell since the teacher would always call him that (or call him out for not paying attention)

He’s the only junior in a class full of underformers

At first glance, you’re kinda weary of him because of all the rumors you had heard 

I mean, his nickname had said it all for you 

Everybody knew him as the “werid” older student 

Just seemed like nothing more than a weird dude

It’s like any other day and your in French

You get assigned to work with Snafu on a project 

Great, not only your with the older werido, but he also most likely won’t do the work

He moves to your desk with a cheeky smile on his face

“Y/n, innit?”

“Yeah, and you're Merriell?”

“You can call me Snafu, darlin’”

Snafu to say the least was very unpredictable 

He was fluent in French and did his fair share in the project

You guys actually got an A+ on the project

It had sparked a sudden friendship between the two of you 

Hanging out during your free blocks, exchanging numbers, etc

Heck, he even came over for dinner

Your mother absolutely loves him since you convince him to put on a goody two shoes act so he doesn’t give your poor mother a heart attack

He would hang out in your room as you guys made tik toks and played Among Us

But the more you guys became “friends”, the more you noticed his long stares and sleepless nights you would spend texting

It was pretty obvious that Snafu had been not so subtlety flirting with you

Burgie, a friend of Snafu and you, even notices but doesn’t say because he likes to watch all the drama unfold from a distance 

He would call you cher, pat you on the head, and be way too nice to you

“Why don’t you go poking around with some girl around your age?”

“None of treat me like you do, cher.” 

“Ah, the sympathy card. Try your luck next time, Shelton.” 

He was a cigarette smoking Cajun while you were a goody two shows with straight a’s

Snafu could have have anybody else but yet he puts all your attention on you and only you? 

So anyways, there’s this bully in your Latin class named Lukas

He’s overall an asshole who especially loved to harass you

Since Snafu became your friend and possible crush, he had been leaving you alone-ish

But the harassment still didn’t stop and the comments would get even worse

“Whats the matter? Gonna cry about it to your fuck buddy?”

“He only likes you because he feels bad for you. Look at you.” 

Lukas wasn't entirely wrong since nobody ever paid attention to you except Snafu

It was a dirty confession, but you sometimes liked the attention he gave you since you had never expiernced it before

So it’s the end of class and you’re packing up all of your stuff 

You stayed after to talk with the teacher so your all alone

Wanting to fill up your water bottle, you walk to the nearest water fountain and fill it

Returning to the classroom, your in absolute hororr

All of the books in your bag had been spilled all over the place and your phone screen had been smashed 

The notes you had done for an important quiz had been all ripped up

Down the hallway, you can hear Lukas and his friend snickering 

Not knowing what to do, you burst into tears 

Snafu had forgotten one of his books and walked in on you, sobbing your eyes out

He walks over and sees the mess

In an awaked manner, he bends down and pats your back as you let it all loose

“Merde sacrée! Y/n, you good?”

You shake you head as you can barley breathe from all the tears

Snafu furrows his eyebrows as he shakes his head in disgust

“Who did ‘dis, cher?”

“L-Lukas...but please don’t interfere.”

“Only because your sayin’ it, I won’t. But let me drive you home.”

Snafu drives you home and he’s there when you explain it to your mother

She calls the school and wants it sealed with immediately 

Snafu gives you a hug before going back into car

Throughout the night he’s sending you funny Tik Tok’s and memes because he’s such a himbo

So it’s the next day of school and your kinda shaky but know it’s going to be dealt with

As you grab your books for Geometry, you hear students running to the Cafeteria 

Curious, you follow and are in absolute shock

Snafu was on top of a whimpering Lukas, beating the living shit out of him

“Think it’s funny to bully other’s to jazz ya cargo pants boo?”

“G-get off of me, bug eyes!”

Lukas was begging for him to stop with a bloody nose, crying 

It gets split up and both of the boys are dragged away

So after you finish your classes you wait outside of the nurses office and see Snafu walk out with a bruised eye and bloody lip

He smiles at you, acting like nothing bad at happened

Walking over, you slap him really hard

“What the hell is wrong with you!”

“Whaddya mean?”

“I told you not to confront him, and yet you do!”

“He was hurting you. What the hell did you expect me do? Let him kick yah around?”

“It was none of your buisness!”

You were right up in his face, your rough breathes being the only noise

Digging throguh his pocket to find his car eyes, Snafu says “Fuck it. Let’s go.”

“What?”

“We’re outta here. Fuck this prison.”

“But I have a test in Phy-“

“Just Get in my damn car, y/n.”

There went your perfect attendance. Your mother was going to be worried sick but Snafu, despiste his insane judgement, was right

You and Snafu drive around in his Jeep in utter silence

Bringing you into a forest area, you guys stop as you overlook a cliff

Pulling out a box of cigarettes, he begins to smoke. You look over and admire the way his calloused fingers fiddle with the lighter. The way the cigar caseually hung from his lip.

Your staring was a little too obvious as Snafu looked over, offering a Cigarette

“No thanks. My mom says they kill your lungs.”

“Doesn’t you mama have a lot to say about everythin’?”

“She does. But those nicotine sticks give you cancer.”

“Are you gonna let her control you for da rest of ya life, Cher? Swear to god, you’ll be livin’ with her right by ya side. Even when ya married she’ll try to give you the birds and bees talk.”

A chuckle escapes from your lips. Snafu laughs along with you. He was right. For the few hours you were away from your overprotective, might as taste freedom. What was the harm in doing so?

“You know what? Fuck it. Hand one over, please.”

“Be careful, darlin’. Don’t get too cocky.”

Handing you a cigarette, you place it on your lips. Snafu brings a lighter close to your face. He grabs your chin gently to pull you close in order to lite the cigarette and suddenly my pants are wet

It took you by shock. His hands were dry, yet soft. As he lite your cigarette, his hand didn’t leave your chin. The two of you looked at eachother with a long gaze. There had been so much tension between you. Snafu had truly cared about you more than anybody in the world. There was something innocent about you that he simply adored.

Taking out the cigarette to blow smoke into his face, he leans in more to connect with your lips

Instead of rejecting it you happily accept the kiss. It was your first kiss and it had to be the Cajun bad boy. Not that you are complaining. His lips were like heaven. It was passionate and lasted for over a minute before you separated to breathe. Some of the saliva ran throguh from tongue. There is obvious regret on your face.

“You know why I like you, y/n?”

“Why, Snafu?”

“Because your a smart, and extremely hot person. Someone who’s decent in this fucked up place. Take that as a compliment.”

“That was a lot to take in. Thanks, I guess?”

There was a silence, before Snafu broke it

“Would you wanna do this again by the way? Y’know, except without the fight. And when your not studying.”

A smile appeared on your face as you blew out cigarette smoke, “I’m free on Saturdays.”

“Then Saturday it is, darlin’ .”

[kadomoni]

I always thought I might be bad, now I’m sure that it’s true…

I really can’t tell you what to think of Pink Diamond/Rose Quartz. I can’t. It’s something you have to decide for yourself, but I’m going to explain why she’s one of my favorite characters of the show, but I also think she is the villain.

Now, I know what Pink Stans are saying, “She’s not the villain! She’s morally grey and trying to change!” And, to that I say, yes clearly. She’s an incredibly well-written, nuanced, and complex character. But, as much as she has done good, she has also done very, very bad. And, I’m here to explain why I think Pink is not evil—she’s just bad (and she knows it).

There is no doubt about it that Pink was raised in an abusive family. White is a pretty typical narcissistic parent (over-reliance on perfectionism, wanting people to please her and be like her but no one ever living up to her expectations, trouble with empathy, ect.). Yellow and Blue love Pink but have no idea how to raise her. That’s pretty typical of dysfunctional family dynamics. None of them had a good role model, so they can only replicate a bad role model.

I understand this dynamic. I had a “mother figure” who was very emotionally (and sometimes physically) abusive. My parents were nice and good parents but they had anger issues. I went from being petulant to shutting down, but I think I fit more into a Pearl archetype because instead of acting out my pain, I kept it inside and felt like it was me that was wrong. Pink does this, but not before causing a lot of issues, and often exploding outwards.

((Major Steven Universe/Future Spoilers under the cut))

We’ll start with what we know about Pink, which is very limited.

The first “memory” we have from her is the astral projection dream Stevonnie had where she threw a tantrum about wanting a colony. It was childish, yes, but Yellow response was no better considering she just yelled at her. They both threw tantrums, and no doubt, she was going to get locked up in her tower after. Pink got angry, she punched a mirror (hopefully, she’d only punched mirrors, please, Rebecca, don’t hurt me like this).

Secondly, we have the dream Steven had about Blue, who begged Pink to stop being combative and letting her “organics” loose, but ultimately just ended up admonishing her further. It’s also implied that she had her stay in the tower room.

Also, that tower is even more fucked up than just isolation. @singlepalerose​ explains this in her meta that Gems need light to live, not food. Rebecca says in an interview when asked that she “can’t say” what would happen if put in a place with no light. But, @singlepalerose​ comes to the conclusion that this might be literally akin to starvation, which is torture. There’s a good chance that Pink was literally tortured by her care-givers.

And, poor Pink Pearl. I don’t know what happened, but whether it was a scream or some physical altercation, it was frightening enough that she broke her pearl so badly, it couldn’t be repaired, which as seen in RS’s concept drawings, Pink is really fucked up by this. She becomes more introverted with her feelings because of this.

                                                          Don’t Break This One.

I’m not going to comment on whether these actions make her “bad” or “abusive.” She was clearly a child in an emotionally maladaptive environment, and she did decide to change and to keep her anger and frustration internalized at the risk of harming the people around her.

But, unfortunately, the information after this is where I begin to feel disturbed by Pink’s actions.

She got a colony. At first, she liked it, but clearly, she either grew bored or disenchanted with managing it. I feel as though she was expecting some sort of freedom, when really, the extra responsibilities probably just weighed her down even more.

The events of ‘A Single Pale Rose’ come into play now. Pearl suggested they go down to Earth, and Pink felt her first taste of unrestrained freedom. She liked interacting with other gems, liked interacting with humans, and finally decided that she didn’t want to destroy the Earth. And, she did beg all the Diamonds to let her give up the colony, but not only had Pink kinda shot herself in the foot with this one because she begged so hard for a colony and made so many big scenes about it, White and Yellow are incredibly steadfast in tradition and rules, and this wasn’t going to fly.

So, she decided to take drastic action.

I personally think that the idea to fake her own death was…weird. And, pretty extreme. I understand her reasoning, but this was the first time where she made a decision that benefited her far more than it did others (and I’m not talking about the planet right now because that’s a whole separate thing). This action traumatized Pearl to the point where she doesn’t eat, won’t shapeshift, and can’t talk about it. Yes, I know she commanded Pearl not to talk about it, but this caused significant emotional distress for her later on in the series.

This also traumatized the whole gem race, specifically the Diamonds, because she’d framed it as a terror attack. It would be way different if she stood up to White herself publicly, but there was so much deception going on that it fundamentally changed the course of Gem Culture and the fate of the Earth. Mostly what bothers me here is how manipulative this action was and how unnecessarily complex it was. Pink did everything she could to wipe her slate clean, be seen as a martyr of Gemkind, and also live freely on Earth.

It was a very good way to get her freedom, but it was also extremely harmful to all parties involved.

The War only escalated at this point. They had to fight Homeworld as a full-on army, and countless of gems were shattered.

Now, yes, of course, these actions saved the Earth, which is good in our perspective because we live on Earth. Earth is essential to us because it is our only frame of reference. But, something that continually complexed the Homeworld gems was why someone would fight for one measly planet at the cost of so much. It makes sense to us because we would sacrifice a whole heck of a lot to keep our planet from being invaded by space aliens, but the gems were colonizing tons of planets and destroying them for energy. It was obviously horrible as colonizers are horrible, but it’s sort of like how different armies will invade other countries, but because we’re being told that it’s for good, most people don’t really care.

From the gem’s perspective, this was all a horrible disaster—a loss of countless life, resources, and pride.

And, for The Crystal Gems, the “loss” of the war meant that all of their friends were corrupted, except Rose’s closest friends (which I’m personally unsure if this is completely truthful. I would hope it would be, but it’s also very suspicious because letting only the people that trust her the most survive would make it easier to control her own story).

Speaking of which, wtf is up with her bubbling Bismuth? It just feels like it would be easier to hide her away instead of trying to explain why she doesn’t want to shatter the Diamonds. But, Rose shattered Pink, anyway? I personally believe Bismuth was too close to figuring out her story, and she didn’t know what to do. I can’t think of any other explanation that would explain her actions and make sense with telling the Crystal Gems she’d been shattered. It feels very manipulative and selfish.

All of this obviously traumatized Pearl (we see it in her Pearl within a Pearl within a Pearl), and it had to have traumatized Garnet considering her reactions to mentions of the war and the “fusion” experiments. It was especially bad on Garnet’s end because she thought the war was actually what Rose said it was, which is why she freaked out when it wasn’t.

She kept secrets from everyone, even Her Pearl. But, Pearl didn’t know that she didn’t know everything. You could call Pearl delusional, but I think this is more proof that Rose never did something in front of her that made her feel like she was being untruthful.

And, I said y’all don’t want to get me started on Rose’s treatment of Pearl because I go feral when I get worked up about it. I would like to personally thank @theroguefeminist​ for their meta on Rose/Pearl and Fandom Ableism. It’s super good, and it was the meta that made me finally sit down and watch all of SU way back in the day. But, it illustrates the point that fandoms tend to look down on characters that act “bitter,” “weak,” “jealous,” “depressed,” or “neurotic.” It’s even more sinister because the reason why Pearl acts the way she does in the first two seasons is because she’d been manipulated by Rose.

She was Pink’s Pearl, her partner in crime, her renegade. They were the Heroes of The Rebellion. Pearl admitted she had feelings for her, and Rose’s response was enthusiastic (“Don’t ever stop!”). From what we’ve seen, the disregard of her feelings only began when she started dating Greg, considering Pearl didn’t see “the men who came into her life now and again” as threats because they “didn’t really matter until [him].” But, the treatment that we see of Pearl in “Story for Steven” and “We Need to Talk” is dismissive at best and cruel and uncaring at the worst.

After Greg was trying to flirt with Rose, Pearl said defensively, “I can sing!” and they laughed at her. Even Rose beamed. They were basically making fun of her when Pearl was only reacting that way because she loved Rose and felt threatened by Greg, even at this point.

I do want to add that I think Rose was trying to be a good person by telling Greg to go away. She made a good point that he shouldn’t give up on his dreams to be with her (especially considering that she knew that nothing would become of him in a place like Beach City). But, she was wooed by him. She laughed and gave into her instincts to surround herself with people who look up to her (even Vidalia said something about how Greg worships her).

But, I find Rose’s treatment of her in “We Need to Talk” to be unnecessarily flippant. Obviously, Pearl was very upset during the whole “What Can I Do For You?” song, and her last ditch effort was to show off Rainbow Quartz and try to belittle his efforts, but Greg was rightly defensive. This doesn’t mean Pearl was being “salty” or “abusive” or “bitchy.” She was reacting negatively towards the emotional neglect that Rose was showing her. Of course, we don’t know every interaction that Pearl and Rose had, but it’s very heavily implied that Rose never communicated with Pearl how their relationship was developing.

I do not, I repeat—I DO NOT—think that Pearl was owed Rose’s love. What I think is neglectful about this situation is that Rose didn’t either apologize or properly explain the nature of their relationship. It’s implied that Rose made her believe they were an item and then proceeded to sleep around and eventually find an alternative partner. No one is owed affection with someone who doesn’t want to be romantically involved, but to lead someone on for thousands of years is horrible, and the idea makes me nauseous, especially since the fandom is more likely to blame Pearl even though Pearl was literally her glorified slave and only able to break out of that thought process years after Steven was born.

Pearl was so emotionally fucked up by Rose’s possible emotional neglect that she had several traumatic episodes starting from “Indirect Kiss” and culminating in her “Cry for Help.” She literally believed she was powerless and felt so weak that she thought the only way to feel agency was to manipulate and extort affection from Garnet. I’m also not defending Pearl for doing this, but it’s clear that she did this because she was mentally ill and not because she was knowingly or maliciously disregarding Garnet’s feelings to fulfill her own needs. Trauma episodes often cause you to act in destructive ways towards yourself and others, but it’s also very different from how Rose did disregard the feelings of others to get her way, or have fun, or “play” with people.

It also reminds me of her treatment of Spinel. Pink was having fun with Spinel until they decided to give her a colony, and then, instead of bringing Spinel with her or sending her back to the Diamonds, she told her to stay there, and she abandoned her for 6,000 years with no plans of returning for her. To be fair, it would really mess up the Crystal Gem dynamic if she suddenly returned with a Spinel who was gifted to Pink Diamond. So, in Rose’s perspective, I get it, but as myself, I don’t think it’s right.

Greg, even, I think was taken advantage of. He’s so sweet and trusting and good that she would easily have been able to get him to do anything. I’m not going to go too much into this because there’s not too much evidence besides her behavior towards him in “Greg the Babysitter” and how she laughed at him in “We Need to Talk.” I just have the feeling that Greg knows something that no one else does and that his perma-sunburn might have something to do with Rose and/or Steven’s conception. Don’t take my word for it since this is just a theory, but I do think there’s something we don’t know yet.

Alright, now that most of the character stuff is out of the way, let’s talk Rose symbolism. In almost every episode, there’s a shot of Rose’s portrait with her eyes covered or something obscuring them. This is classic anime imagery of a suspect character, and it’s foreshadowing of her suspect actions. All of her organic experiments eventually go rouge without constant maintenance from Rose (see: the moss in “Lars and the Cool Kids,” the thorns in “Indirect Kiss”). We don’t know why this happens, but it points to the idea that there’s something malignant lurking underneath Rose’s creations.

Rose’s Room also has disturbing implications. The fact that it gives Steven whatever he wants, but more often than not, it turns into psychological horror is telling. It may be that Steven just doesn’t know how to use the room, but also, the Gems didn’t want him to go in there. (“It doesn’t know how to handle a task like that!” What do you know, Pearl????) The creepiest one, in my opinion, was how the Fake Connie he made in “Open Book” eventually turned on him, attacked him, and basically physically forced him to admit feelings he wanted to keep hidden. I’m not saying this is the intended purpose of the room, but I find it troubling that it can be used in this way and defaults to it when there isn’t anything stopping it. It could also be that when the illusion the room makes is broken that it reverts to an angry (and dare I say Pink Diamond-esque) temperament.

My final point is how her decision to have Steven, even though eventually for good, hurt many people, Steven included. To make the decision to die and have a kid was confusing to everyone, but more so, the gems. They don’t understand human reproduction outside of a biological level, and the fact that gems normally can’t sexually reproduce makes the concept even more foreign. It seems like she explained that she was doing it and would die but didn’t fully prepare the gems about what that would entail. I think this is most clearly seen in “Three Gems and a Baby” because the Crystal Gem’s behavior towards baby Steven reflected Pearl’s response to emotional neglect, such as acting impulsively and dangerously just for not understanding the complexities of the situation.

Their whole dynamic was screwed up, and they all felt deeply hurt by Rose’s death. If you compare how they act at the beginning of the series to the end, they were basically all at each other’s throats because they couldn’t communicate properly due to all the undealt with baggage that had been left behind. It ended up becoming Steven’s job to emotionally support the gems when he should have been the one being emotionally supported. This imbalance of “the parents being the child” and “the child being the parents” is a huge reason why we see Steven in such emotional distress during Future. He’s internalized the idea that he should be the leader, the supporter, the helper, and he hasn’t properly been able to find his own identity because Rose looms over all of them (see: “Rose Buds”).

It’s hard to say whether Rose intentionally left Steven to clean up her mistakes or if she just felt like he could fix it all when she couldn’t, but there is no denying that Rose’s actions have seriously messed up our boy. This is the clearest theme presented in the show, so I’m not going to go super hard on this topic because basically the whole show is Steven angsting over his mom.

So, the point of all of this is that, yes, Pink was abused. There is no doubting that she was very badly abused and developed her personality and coping mechanisms due to this trauma. However, Rose has hurt her friends, family, and gemkind due to her actions. A lot of abusers have been abused. I know my abuser was abused in the same way I was, but that doesn’t give her an excuse to enact that abuse on me. It’s the same as Rose. Her bad upbringing gives context about why she turned out the way she did, but it’s incredibly short-sighted to say that Rose acted in mostly good ways towards others.

And, she knows she’s bad. Whether or not Rebecca will outright admit what the song is about, we have enough context to know that “Love Like You” is Rose talking to Greg (if not the other gems as well).

“I always thought I might be bad Now I’m sure that it’s true ‘cause I think you’re so good And, I’m nothing like you

Look at you go I just adore you I wish that I knew What makes you think I’m so special”

Rose is admitting that she thinks she’s bad and isn’t special and doesn’t understand what Greg sees in her. She knows she’s done bad things, but in my opinion, she didn’t do enough to fix her problems. She made Steven instead. It was her final act of avoidance. Maybe she gave up on herself. Maybe she knew she couldn’t “Love Like You.” I don’t know the answer to that. I just know that Rose’s actions were abusive. She’s not good. She’s morally gray. She did good things, but she did many bad things as well. She’s not evil, but she is the series’ antagonist. She has good things about her, but she has many bad things as well. People can be two things. But, saying she’s not an abuser is making excuses for her behavior.

Here are my answers to a few common complaints on my shitpost meme.

Q: Rose didn’t want to cause war! She just wanted to free the planet/have freedom/save the gems, ect. A: If she didn’t want to cause war, she very well could have…not started the war? There are much less destructive options than pretending to be a rebel when she really was a Diamond. The double life thing is so ridiculous, no one in the show could even guess it. Q: Don’t discredit her Rebellion! A: I just think she cared more about herself than she actually did the Earth. The Rebellion did save the Earth, but not without crazy death and destruction. Q: Pink was good compared to Japser, the Diamonds, Lapis, ect. A: All of you saying that those other characters are bad while Rose is good totally misses the point. All those characters did abusive things. So did Rose/Pink. Pink is good and bad. It’s really showing your ass that you hate x, y, z but will cape for Pink even though she’s probably caused the most harm of the entire series. Whatever happened to all those morally grey arguments?

Q: This take is bad! A: soz bruh cry harder Q: This is black and white thinking. A: I shouldn’t have to explain every aspect of a character in a shitpost. This meta is my full explanation, so here’s my morally grey meme uwu

Q: Blue, Yellow, and White are colonizers and also really abusive. A: Yes. It doesn’t negate Pink’s actions, though.

Q: Pink Pearl was an accident! She changed after!!! That’s not abuse!!!!!!! A: Abuse isn’t always intentional, and we don’t canonically know it was an accident. Pink Pearl said that it was, but she admitted she was making excuses for her. But, accident or not, hurting someone deeply can be abuse if it’s not dealt with. Pink Pearl was not dealt with. She was brainwashed for 8,000 years, instead. Pearl-Pearl helped her deal with it. The continual explosive anger from Pink was abusive, hands down.

Q: She’s not a villain! A: She certainly is framed as Steven’s villain. Regardless of what you personally think of Pink, Steven is deeply disturbed and harmed by Rose’s actions. It’s literally the whole plot of the show! If Pink is eventually redeemed, I won’t mind, but she’s irredeemable in my eyes.

[binbons-character-stuff]

Hell Hath No Fury

My contribution to @daffodilsbucky‘s 1k Follower Challenge! Congratulations!!!

My trope was #12 Body Swap.

Dinah Madani was a woman scorned. 

There was more to it, of course. Her career was in ruins. She was a laughingstock among her former co-workers and bosses. Her parents had stood by her publicly, of course, but she saw them, sometimes. They would just look at her, wondering where they had gone wrong with their child. 

Her life was a joke – she was a joke. And it was all because of one man. 

Billy Russo.

Dinah Madani never looked in the mirror and saw a woman who compromised her own values, used herself and Billy Russo sexually to find out information about Frank Castle and Cerberus. She didn’t see someone who played fast and loose with the law; she saw a victim. She saw a woman who had been dishonored, a woman who had been played for a fool. 

A woman who needed revenge.

And she didn’t want revenge from Frank Castle, the man who had pulled the trigger on her partner in Kandahar, or his boss, the man who had actually given the order to murder Zubair. She didn’t want revenge on her boss or her boss’s boss that gave Russo and Castle sweetheart deals for helping to take Rawlins down. Hell, she didn’t even blame David Leiberman for sending her the video in the first place. She blamed Billy Russo, because he had realized her game and beat her at it; because he had been able to compartmentalize dealing with Madani after he found out that she had been using him to get to Frank. 

Because he had been able to find love with someone else, when Madani herself had loved him: at least her version of love. More like want, really, but still, Madani owed him. So, yeah, Billy and you were the object of her sick fascination and utter hatred.

It was Billy Russo who needed to pay. And, if things went as she hoped, pay he would, and you right along with him.

Madame Gao had been hard to find, but Madani was determined. When she had found her, Gao had been indifferent to her. Russo and Castle were troublesome but nothing that her Hand members couldn’t handle. 

In the end, Madani had pledged herself to the Hand for Madame Gao’s help in getting revenge on Billy. And, in order to be completely certain of Madani’s loyalty, Gao had placed a geas on Dinah. She was now magically bonded to Madame Gao until her death or release.

It was a small price to pay to make Russo’s life a living hell before she finally ended it. 

This was going to be fun.

“Honey, I’m home!” Billy called when he stepped into your shared apartment and laid his keys in the bowl that was kept there for general pocket clutter. 

“In the kitchen,” you called out, though he had already figured that out from the delicious aromas and the music playing.

Billy tossed his suit jacket over a dining chair and strolled into the kitchen, loosening his tie as he entered his favorite room of your shared home. 

Leaning his chin on your shoulder as he snuggled up behind you, Billy pulled you close and kisses your neck a bunch of times until you giggled and turned to kiss him properly, knowing that he would continue to harass you delightfully until he got a proper smooch.

“How was your day, love?” you said after a sweet kiss.

“Not too shabby. Better now that I’m with you,” he said warmly.

You looked into his deep brown eyes and marveled that you had ever doubted this man’s feelings for you. “I love you so much, Russo,” you said sincerely. 

Billy kissed your nose with his special crinkly-eyed smile. “I love you, too,” he replied. “Whatcha makin’?”

“Just some quick sausage and peppers with pasta. Wanna set the table while I put the garlic bread in the oven?”

“Sure,” he answered, stealing one more kiss before he went to grab dishes and flatware.

Billy was still getting used to having a woman in his space; you were worth it and he would lie down in a puddle so you wouldn’t get your feet wet, but there was still a lot to get used to, y'know?

This was a man who never lived alone his entire life, going from foster homes to group homes to the Marines. When he finally got out and started his business, he got his first place alone – and he fucking loved it. He didn’t have to worry about his shit getting moved, busted or stolen. Hell, he didn’t even have to deal with Frankie stealing his toothpaste. In a burst of excessive hubris, he had gotten all of the things that he thought would show people how far he’d come in life from the foster kid whose junkie mother safe-havened him at a fire station.

When Bastion Security took off and made it through the government oversight after he and Frank and Curtis had done the CIA’s dirty work and took out Rawlins, he was able to grow the business honestly, not having to worry about Black ops that were too dirty for Feds. His jobs were aboveboard and his money was clean.

Clean money meant less money, though, so the penthouse had been traded for a normal apartment, his closets filled with nice but not bespoke suits and his parking space with the Wraith was now occupied with a Land Rover. After life settled into routine, after all the testifying before the Senate, after he paid back the dirty money he used to start Anvil, well, he realized that while it was nice to have his own space and things, they didn’t have to be the most expensive just for the sake of having the highest price tag. 

And now that he didn’t have to maintain strictest privacy at all times lest his not-so-squeaky-clean business practices came to light, he didn’t necessarily love being alone all the time.

You and he were the last of your friends who were still single; Karen and Frank were together, Foggy and Marci were engaged, Curtis had started dating a girl he’d met at the gym and Matt was getting serious with a social worker he’d met on a case where he’d been guardian ad litem for a boy who had lost his parents.

So, after the first few times that you and Billy were the only ones to show up for a group outing, or were the last ones left after everyone went on with their couples plans, you decided you may as well hang out with each other. One thing had led to another, you’d asked him to be your plus one for a work thing, he’d asked you to go with him to a mix and mingle thing so he wouldn’t threaten husbands. You never expected anything, of course; Billy was famously single and you certainly didn’t think you’d be the one to change that.

But you were. Billy finally quit pretending he needed you to accompany him as a friend and told you he wanted more. 

“What?” you asked with a nervous chuckle. “Is this a joke?”

Billy looked offended. “No,” he said stiffly. “It was not intended as such.”

“I mean, you’re famously unfunny, Russo. You sure?” you said, giving him an out.

Suddenly Billy was feeling more vulnerable than he had as a kid. He decided to go for bravado. With a half-smile, he said, “Yeah, that’s a pretty stupid idea, huh? I just thought that y'know since we been spending so much time together –”

“Bill!” you interrupted. 

“What?” he growled, cheeks a bit flushed with embarrassment.

You smiled and stepped closer, tentatively putting your hands on his shoulders. Looking into his eyes, you whispered, “It’s a great idea, Billy.”

He breathed a sigh of relief and put his hands on your hips, pulling you a bit closer and leaning in to drop a gentle kiss on your lips. 

Your eyelids fluttered open and you smiled happily. “Best idea ever.”

Frank and Curtis had known Billy for a lot longer than any of his other friends, and neither of them could get over the change in him. Outwardly, Billy told them to screw off, he had always been the same guy, but inside – well, inside, Billy knew that he was different. You had seen the person who had always worried that he wasn’t worth anything deeper than his looks. 

But you looked past his exterior, past his sins and loved the man that he had never before had the courage to be. You became his friend after he lost the money and the car and suits, and you never seemed all that impressed with his looks. Oh, you thought he was gorgeous; you weren’t blind. But that wasn’t enough for you. You’d needed to get to know the real William Russo, not the image he showed the world. Only then did you fall for him.

There was a freedom that accompanied someone knowing the real Billy. He had never known true acceptance before, had never understood that concept because no one had ever wanted what was beneath the facade he showed the world. When he was a Marine, he was the best goddamn sniper there was. When he was a businessman, he was the best bullshit artist and salesman he could be. When he was with a woman, he was the best lover he could be, leaving every partner exhausted and satisfied.

But he had never really allowed anyone to see the man he was before. Only you understood the little boy who had been abandoned that still lived inside Billy, and only you had ever been able to make him understand that it had not been his failing, that his mother had been an addict and unable to care for him. 

For the first time, Billy thought that maybe there could be more to his life than resentment and anger; you gave him love and acceptance.

Madani had gathered all of the necessary components for the spell and it was time. She had been very careful not to let Billy see her as she tailed him, learning his and your routines by heart. She had spy training, after all – even someone trained as Billy had been unprepared for the Killing Eve disguises and infiltration shit Madani was pulling. Madame Gao had also loaned her some manpower, so there wasn’t always a small woman around, regardless of her hair color or clothing.

Madame Gao herself was going to perform the spell. Later, Madani would apprentice in spellcraft, but for now she would simply be the subject of the spell.

It had been so easy to get close to you to get something personal to use for the spell component. You were truly and completely a civilian, a trusting fool. What did Russo even see in you?

Madani was currently bound to a sturdy chair, arms and legs lashed down securely. She couldn’t get out of it herself, she had no doubt that it would hold a weakling like you. 

Madame Gao began chanting and threw a lit match into a bowl, fragrant smoke surrounding Madani, clouding her vision and making her dizzy. As her eyes fluttered closed, she felt herself drifting away…

You were having the strangest dream. The sounds and smells were completely foreign to you. There was a strange voice chanting and it was as if you were drunk or high. You muttered in your sleep, and the feel of Billy’s heart beating against your cheek was growing fainter, as if you were being pulled away from his embrace. 

Suddenly, you gasped as your eyes opened to a strange room where an elderly Asian woman was looking you over with a matter-of-fact expression on her wrinkled face. 

“You do not seem worthy of such hatred as my apprentice holds for you,” she said disdainfully.

You were still woozy and completely confused. “Who are you? Where am I?”

“I think the more important question for you is, ‘Who are you?’” she replied, gesturing across from you.

You looked in the direction and saw a woman bound to a chair. Disturbing, but you couldn’t see how it pertained to you. You turned to look at the woman and saw the woman across from you mirror your move. You looked back and so did she – you began to make faces and she mimicked each one. Finally your brain caught up with the evidence before you and you looked down, finding your hands bound to a chair – but they were not your hands!

“What – what the hell is going on?” you asked, panicking and pulling against your bonds. “What is happening to me? BILLY!!”

“You may continue to scream if that is your wish, but there is no one to come to your aid. Ms. Madani was very careful in her planning. Your Mr. Russo should be waking up next to her any time now.”

“Madani? That crazy bitch who tried to kill Billy?” you asked, real fear in your eyes as you looked into the mirror more closely. The hair was short and blond now, but the eyes and face, the beauty mark – you were indeed trapped in the body of Dinah Madani.

And your love was snuggled in bed with a woman who blamed him for every bad thing that had ever happened to her – and had been trained to kill.

Billy woke abruptly, the feel of fingernails digging into his skin jolting him from sleep. He jumped from the bed in fight-mode but saw no threat. “Babe?” he said, half asleep and confused. You usually woke him up sweetly, knowing that he had PTSD from growing up in foster care and serving in the Middle East – startling Billy awake was not a great idea.

“Hey,” Madani purred, “no talking, just make me feel good.”

Billy was wide awake at that, skin almost crawling as he jumped out of bed and away from the hands trying to get inside the boxer briefs he had worn to sleep. “Ah, sorry, no can do,” he said, backing away from what certainly looked like the woman he loved. “Got an early meeting.”

“Ugh,” she practically sneered at Billy. “Fine, Russo. Go to work – as usual.”

Billy visibly flinched and said, “Ah, gonna hit the shower.”

Madani realized that maybe, just maybe she had come on a bit strong. She hadn’t really put any thought into how you and Billy were when you were alone together, and surprisingly, you spent most of your off time alone in your shared apartment. No, she only thought about getting revenge. But Billy had definitely been confused, and though she knew she was smarter and he couldn’t possibly expect this, he wasn’t a stupid man. 

She would have to be softer. It just hadn’t occurred to her that Billy Russo would want to be with a rag doll, she assumed that he would be with a woman more…well, more like Madani. She had been his type once, but it seemed that these days he liked his tail with a side of submission. 

Billy was in the shower quietly freaking out. You were behaving strangely; it was like you were a different person entirely. 

Get ahold of yourself, Russo, he berated himself. So your girl woke up horny and tried to jump you? Most guys would be grateful, and it isn’t like you never woke her up for sex! 

Billy shook his head and hurried through his shower. He had no idea what you saw in him, but you were so tender-hearted that you were probably some combination of hurt and embarrassed because he’d run off like a blushing virgin.

Billy came back to the bedroom wrapped in a towel, an apology loaded for his weird exit, but you weren’t there. He perked his ear in the direction of the kitchen and heard you opening cabinets and shrugged. Morning weirdness aside, he really did have an early meeting.

He got dressed and came out to the dining room to find you drinking coffee. He bent over to drop a kiss on your cheek. “Gotta go,” he said. “See you at 7 for Karen’s thing, right?”

“Oh, right!” Madani exclaimed. “You’re picking me up, right?”

“No,” Billy drawled slowly. “We’re meeting at Kashkaval Garden. Remember?”

Madani made a 'silly me’ face and said, “Right, of course! Absolutely.”

“Great,” Billy replied a bit suspiciously. “You OK?”

“I’m fine,” Madani replied. “Weird dreams, feel like I could sleep some more. Better hit the coffee!”

“K,” Billy agreed reluctantly, then sent you the special smile that he deserved for you. “Love you, babe.”

Madani felt her stomach churn. Really? He loved this little Mary Sue? “Back atcha,” she said with a tense smile.

Billy’s eyebrows went up slightly, but then he smiled and said, “See ya tonight.”

“Yup.”

Billy closed the door behind him, actually shaking. You had never failed to tell him to have a great day when he left for work. He’d been called out of bed in the middle of the night and you’d told him to have a great day in your sleep! And, 'Back atcha’ when he’d said he loved you?

Something is wrong. Something is very wrong.

Madani knew that Billy had been weirded out by her behavior, though she wasn’t sure what precisely she did wrong. He’d liked her well enough when they had been together, how much different could you be? Yes, you were a pediatrician, so you obviously liked children, whereas Madani wanted nothing to do with any ankle biters, even if they were family. Maybe he found something in you that he had missed out on being raised in the foster system? That made sense; it wasn’t you, but what you represented.

What possible other reason could there be for him to be with Madani’s polar opposite?

Billy had been distracted all day. From the first minute of the 7 a.m. meeting where David and Curtis had gone over the company’s quarterly financials and the prospects for the upcoming months, he’d been somewhere else. 

“Billy!” Curtis said loudly, knocking on the table in the conference room. “This is where you talk.”

“Shit, sorry, guys. Weird morning,” he apologized. “Ah, we have eight ongoing personal security jobs stateside and I’ve been trying to get us contracts for overseas security, too. If any of that starts looking positive, we’re going to need to hire and train more ground crew. And we could actually use some tech crew now, Micro.”

“That’s…wow,” David Leiberman exclaimed. “I’ll put out some feelers. This is great news, guys!”

“Yeah,” Billy said with a surprised chuckle. “Y'know, I think we might just make a go of this thing.”

Frank slapped the tabletop and said, “Damn straight!” he agreed heartily. “Drinks are on me tonight.”

“It’s your girlfriend’s party, weren’t they already?” Curt heckled Frank.

“Yeah, ya cheap bastard!” David joined in as Billy chuckled at their ribbing of their friend.

“Eh, shut it!” Frank clapped back happily. “Bastion Security Incorporated is here to stay!”

Billy was planning to talk to Frank about your strange behavior, but he didn’t want to bring down the vibe of the partners after the meeting, and he had a lot of work to do around three meetings and two conference calls. I’m probably overreacting, anyways, he reassured himself. Just a weird morning.

Still, the feeling that something was wrong nagged at him all day. To top it off, he had texted you several times and you hadn’t answered him once. You always answered him, even if it was just a few words to say you were busy and you loved him.

He was utterly disgusted with himself for feeling like a clingy teenager, but damn, you were the best part of his life. What if you really had been keeping from him resentment over how much he worked? You always said you understood, even when he had been completely honest about all the stupid, awful things he had done. He was utterly overwhelmed with the grace and forgiveness his found family had blessed him with, but they had already been friends. For them it was a continuance of a relationship and therefore they found good in him to outweigh the bad that he had done. 

With you, he had been honest early on; he needed to know that you could bear to look at him with his sins laid bare, because he knew almost from the beginning that you were special. The fact that you loved him knowing what he had done never ceased to amaze him – and he didn’t think he could make it without that love. Your love had changed him, made him able to return love. For the first time in his life, he wasn’t the most important person to him.

Christ, I feel like a twelve year old girl, he thought to himself disgustedly. 

He picked up his phone and looked again. Still no texts.

Billy sighed and tried to focus on the resumes in front of him. They needed to hire new employees whether or not his love life was making him weepy.

Billy had arrived a few minutes early, but the hostess said the Garden Room was ready and led him back. Frank and Karen greeted him warmly, Billy congratulating Karen on her book deal. As if being a partner in Nelson, Murdock & Page wasn’t enough to keep her busy, she had submitted a manuscript for a mystery novel to a publishing house and had been offered a contract.

“Promise me you’ll only describe a character based on me as 'devastatingly handsome’,” Billy demanded playfully.

“How about, 'chronic bedwetter’,” Frank suggested.

“Or 'high-maintenance mirror hog’?” Curtis chimed in.

“'Technologically challenged!’” David piped up, loathe to be left out and giving the worst playful insult he could think of.

“Or 'terrible, inattentive boyfriend?’” he heard your voice add in the midst of laughing off his buddies’ roasting.

His eyes went wide and he spun around, and yeah, you looked pissed. “Hey, babe,” he said carefully, leaning over to kiss your cheek, which you accepted stiffly.

“I’ve been sitting out front waiting for a while, babe,” Madani said with saccharine sweetness and a big smile. “If Sarah hadn’t grabbed me on the way in, I’d still be waiting.”

“I mean, I thought you’d come on back,” Billy said quietly, smiling thinly, aware that all of your friends were watching. “Not like this is the first time we’ve used this room for our group.”

Madani looked around and saw the questioning looks pointed her way and let it go. “Of course. Long day,” she said, hopefully placatingly.

“Did you bring the gift?” Billy whispered as people began to mingle again.

“Gift?” Madani replied absently.

Billy’s eyebrows beetled his brows and he frowned as he said, “Are you kidding me? I said that we didn’t need a gift and you spent hours picking things out and paid extra for fast shipping!”

Just as Madani opened her mouth to snap back, Matt said, “Billy, got a minute?”

Billy closed his eyes briefly before smiling and turning to face the group. “Sup, Matt?" 

"I heard you were hiring and I have a friend who might be a good fit.”

“You have friends who aren’t here?” Billy said with feigned amazement in his voice.

“Ha ha.” Matt held out his hand and said, “Come over here so we don’t bore everyone?”

Billy was surprised but said, “OK,” and put his arm under Matt’s hand and walked over to the far side of the room.

Matt smiled and said quietly, “Who the hell is that?”

Madani watched Billy lead Matt over to the other side of the room. She had been worried when Matt had asked Billy to talk, but then Billy had served him up snark like he did to the other guys so she figured it must really be normal.

She really was making him suspicious, though. She wasn’t going to be able to drag this out and enjoy torturing him, as much as it pained her to admit it. She had put so much thought into the method of her revenge that she didn’t research the means.

She smiled and joined the crowd, hanging back to learn the names of the people she didn’t know. She regretted letting her obsession with revenge cloud her judgment and keep her from doing better background. 

You were actually being treated fairly well. Aside from some self-defense moves that Billy had insisted upon teaching you, you were absolutely not a threat. You were more of a throw-your-handbag-then-run-away-yelling, “Street Smarts” than a hand-gesture-like-Neo-while-screaming, “Come Get A Taste” kinda girl.

The elderly Chinese woman had dismissed you to the care of a group of guards with a full-on bad guy monologue. “The rest of your life does not promise to be pleasant, but it is up to you how you will be treated while you are my guest. Obey my simple rules and you will have the freedom of this room, you will be allowed to watch television and have access to bathing facilities. Your meals will be brought to you and if you are a well-behaved guest, you will be treated as such.

"However, if you get any ideas about escaping, then of course you will be returned to this chair and these bindings. Tell me, child, have you a preference?”

“I will behave until Billy comes for me,” you said, chin raised proudly. “You’re right, I am absolutely no threat, but Billy…he allows himself to care for very few people. You have the misfortune to be holding one of them as an honored but unwilling guest. Let’s hope the insane obsession of an off-balance woman scorned is worth the trouble it will bring to your door.”

Madame Gao smiled condescendingly. “I think we will be able to manage a few toy soldiers, child. Do not worry about my health when yours is in so much more peril.”

Billy smiled tensely at Matt. “What the hell do you mean, man?”

“I mean,” Matt bit out, “that woman may physically be your girlfriend, but somehow, that’s not who is currently inside her.”

Billy was dumbfounded. He knew of Matt’s alter ego and therefore understood that Matt had talents and powers far beyond his experience, but for there to be a completely different person inside your body? The same body, incidentally, that he had been inside on countless occasions?

“Matt,” Billy bit out a moment later, “man, I can’t wrap my head around this. You saying there are two people inside her?”

“No, Billy,” Matt replied ominously. “She’s completely gone.”

Madani figured she should stop staring holes into the back of Billy’s head and mingle a bit. She’d met Karen and Sarah before, albeit in a rather interrogate-y way, but still – she figured she could handle small talk with them.

Madani walked over to the edge of the group of friends and edged in until she was next to Karen. 

Karen turned to her a bit and gave her a one-armed hug. “So glad you got here! Boys are so dumb, right?”

“Tell me about it!” Madani replied with an exasperated smile. “I feel like such a dunce, I left your present at home!”

Karen waved her concern away. “You don’t need to get me a present, silly! I just want to celebrate with all my friends.”

“Still,” Madani said ruefully, “happy birthday!”

And there was silence. And it was not good.

Frank cleared his throat. “Ah, we’re celebrating Karen’s book deal, kiddo! Did you pre-game some white wine before you got here?” he joked.

Madani was mortified. 

Karen laughed. “Oh, you goofball!” she announced. “This is an old joke, like Frosty the Snowman, we say 'Happy Birthday’ for everything!" 

Billy and Matt had returned to the group in time to hear Karen blatantly lie to help fake-you save face. 

William Russo had seen a lot of things. He’d been to war, he’d killed men, he’d seen his friends die – hell, he’d almost had his own ticket punched more than a few times. But he had never, never experienced a horror so visceral before in his life.

You had never had an enemy in your life. Hell, when he’d first met you he’d been suspicious as hell, not believing anyone could be so goddamn nice. But the more he got to know you, the more he realized you were simply a caring, kind individual.

And you would have to have one hell of a case of amnesia to forget one of your dearest friend’s birthday. 

"Karen, I am so sorry, but I just got word that I have to go into work,” Billy said regretfully. “And I really hate to say it, but I need my team.”

Frank, David and Curtis all groaned at that announcement, but they knew that Billy wouldn’t disrupt something like this for no reason.

“I’m really sorry, Karen” he said, leaning in to kiss her cheek. “I’m so proud of you. I promise I’ll make it up to you.’

Karen hugged him back, whispering, "What is going on?”

“Dunno,” Billy whispered back, knowing she was talking about you. “Gotta find out.”

Billy needed confirmation before he left. He walked over to fake-you and said, “Sorry, lovebug,” knowing that you absolutely loathed that particular term of endearment. He leaned over to kiss her cheek, feeling the anger rolling off fake-you in waves. “Can you get home OK?”

Madani almost snapped at him, but judging by the nauseating nickname knew that you wouldn’t respond that way. “Of course,” she said sweetly. 

Billy stood and waited expectantly for a moment, but you never told him to be safe.

You always told him to be safe when he had to go on a job.

By the time the four of them had gathered at Bastion’s office, Billy had pulled his shit together, but there was still a part of him that was reeling. He’d seen a lot in his time on this green earth, but nothing else had come close to this shit.

“What the hell, Bill?” Frank growled as he entered the conference room at Bastion.

Usually the richly appointed room made Billy feel a sense of pride. This was where he brought new clients to discuss their needs with the team. It was a combination of high tech and dark wood, the perfect blend of science and class that said that the company was competent and successful. Now, he could have been sitting in a junkyard for all he cared. “Brother, I’m so sorry to fuck up Karen’s party –" 

"That ain’t what I’m talking about, Bill,” Frank interrupted as Curtis and David entered the room. 

“I think he means, what the hell is wrong with your girl?” Curtis said quietly.

Billy’s shoulders sagged as his chin hit his chest in defeat. “I wish I knew,” he said quietly, then looked up. “Matt said – he said that there’s someone else inside her? I mean, what the fuck does that even mean?”

Frank whistled. “Matt’s seen some shit,” he commented quietly. “Nightmare shit.”

Billy slammed his hand onto the conference table he leaned against. “What, like some voodoo shit?" 

"Ancient Chinese mysticism, actually,” Matt said from the doorway.

Billy jerked to attention. Frank, Curtis and David spun to face Matt and saw two people with him: a young man with curly blonde hair and a young Asian woman.

“This is Danny Rand and Colleen Wing,” Matt announced. “This is Billy Russo, Frank Castle, Curtis Hoyle and David Lieberman. Billy’s girlfriend is the one I was telling you about.”

Billy was quiet for a moment. The girl was Asian, but the white kid? “Ah, pleasure to meet you. But what exactly do you bring to the table?” he asked bluntly.

“I am the Immortal Iron Fist.”

You had been pacing your chamber pretty much non-stop. It was decorated nicely in soothing shades of blue and was much homier than a hotel and certainly better than a dungeon. Knowing that it was your prison didn’t make you appreciate the color scheme, pleasant or not. They could hang silk curtains on the windows, but it didn’t change the fact that there were also bars.

This was so not your thing. Billy probably would have found a way to weaponize the TV remote or built a bazooka out of a toilet tissue tube by now, but aside from making bandages out of the embroidered pillow covers, your DIY skills were strictly decorative. 

You had no idea how long you were to be a guest, either. Knowing that your stay would most likely end with either the man you loved more than life or you dead or critically wounded didn’t make you anxious to end your forced vacation with the elderly Asian woman and her silent minions.

“It sounds as though she has been placed under a spell which removes her soul with her body and replaces it with that of another person,” Danny said. “How long has this been going on?”

Billy scrubbed his face with his hand, utterly heartsick and defeated by the situation. “This morning. It was like she was a different person from the second she woke up.” He laughed humorously. “Little did I know she was literally a different person.”

Danny traded a look with Colleen. “There are only a few people in the world that could cast a spell like that, and most of them are in K'un-Lun.”

“What, now?” David sputtered in amazement. “I’m sorry, but are we really talking spells and and and magic? I mean, I know that there are things out there that we can’t explain but –”

“This is not the time to have 'The Talk’ about the world being larger than you know, David,” Matt said harshly. “Our friend is missing.”

“Shit,” Billy hissed as the pain of those words, resisting the need to double over from the gut punch they brought. “She’s missing. Jesus.”

Curtis clapped a hand on Billy’s shoulder and said, “We’re gonna get her back, man.”

“Damn straight,” Frank swore.

You were being punished. Apparently trying to keep the plastic knife from your dinner was not acceptable. You didn’t even know what the hell you were going to do with it; for Christ’s sake, you had literally fallen over when you got your toe stuck in the elastic while putting on your underwear the other day! Still, you felt like you should at least try. 

“What did you hope to accomplish?” Madame Gao snapped at you disapprovingly, almost as if she was addressing a naughty child.

You chuckled bitterly. “I honestly don’t know. I just feel wrong sitting here waiting for the man I love to be murdered by his crazy ex-girlfriend while she’s wearing my body like a Halloween costume,” you railed, beginning to cry. “Why are you helping her?”

“She has pledged herself to me for this favor,” Madame Gao said stiffly.

You scoffed. “I guess that shouldn’t surprise me. She practically whored herself out when she worked for Homeland, why wouldn’t she sell her soul, too?”

“You should mind your tongue,” Madame Gao warned. 

“Or what?” you sneered. “You’ll kill me? If you let her kill Billy, I don’t really care what happens to me.”

“You hold your life cheap.”

“I don’t. I just hold Billy’s more dear.”

“He wronged my new apprentice,” she said imperiously.

You laughed bitterly at that. “He outplayed your apprentice,” you spat. “She used sex to get information out of Billy and found out he played her back. She just can’t accept that he outsmarted her.”

She stiffened. “Perhaps your information is untrustworthy.”

“Yeah, maybe,” you countered. “But what if it’s yours that’s wrong?”

She paused as if pondering your words and then turned to leave, stopping at the door to say, “Since you cannot be trusted with eating utensils, you will not be allowed them for future meals. If there are any more incidents of pointless defiance such as this, you will be given neither utensils nor food. Do I make myself clear?”

“Abundantly,” you answered coldly.

She nodded once, looking at you consideringly for a moment before turning to leave without another word.

You waited until she was gone to sob in earnest.

“How the hell do we find out what we’re dealing with here?” Billy asked.

“Or who, for that matter,” Matt said. “Who hates you enough to do something like this, Bill? Crazy ex?”

Billy exchanged a look with Frank. “Do you think?” he began.

Frank shook his head in disbelief. “She really hates you, that I know.”

“Who are we talking about?” David demanded. Then, as if struck with the knowledge, he blurted, “Wait, Madani?”

“Hold up, you sayin’ you think a Homeland agent did this?” Curtis said in amazement. 

Billy was shaking his head in disbelief. “She lost her job when all the shit went down. You think she’d go this far off the rails, Frank?”

“Hell hath no fury, brother.”

You laid awake, trying to think of something, anything you could do to escape. 

Had Billy even missed you yet? Was Madani playing some sick mind games with him? God, had she seduced him? You wouldn’t blame Billy of course – hell, as far as he knew, you were you. 

You’d had moments of insecurity when you had first gotten together, of course. Billy was an absolutely stunning man: physically breathtaking, intelligent and charming. He had been around the block so many times you were surprised that the city of New York hadn’t renamed it in his honor. 

And that was exactly what he had told you. You had been sitting next to each other on your sofa watching a movie together when he had asked you what was wrong.

“I just…Billy, you’ve been with so many women. How am I ever gonna be enough?”

He smiled sweetly and kissed your nose. “Sweetheart, I have never been a guy to settle down, and yeah, I’ve had my share of sex. I’m not gonna pretend that I don’t know I’m hot. I can get laid pretty much any time I want.”

“Wow, thanks for this pep talk,” you muttered sarcastically.

Billy had smiled at your snark. “So, doesn’t the fact that I want to be only with you tell you that I’m only gonna be with you?”

You’d thought about it for a minute. “Yeah, I guess that makes sense.”

“Damn right.”

“Probably doesn’t hurt that Frank and Matt would castrate you if you cheated on me, either,” you’d said with a wicked grin.

“There’s my girl,” he’d said with a chuckle.

You came back to the present, even though you’d so much rather stay wrapped in the warmth of your memories with Billy. 

From what you had been told, you didn’t expect to come out of this alive. If you did and Billy had slept with Madani, well, you would forgive him. But, goddamn, you really wished you knew what that crazy bitch’s game was. 

And you really hoped Billy realized that she wasn’t you.

Danny and Colleen needed to gather some spell components of their own to divine what magic had been used, and Matt had gone off to see if he could drum up any leads on Hand activities. Billy, Frank and Curtis had changed into combat gear, ready to go at a moment’s notice, while David was digging into Madani’s affairs as deeply as he could.

Billy had been pacing the floor, so much nervous energy that he felt like he was about to lift off.

“Hey, I think I got something!” David called out.

Billy dashed over to where David was peering into his computer screen. “What?”

“I picked up a video of her leaving her apartment a few months ago and have been running a GAIT tracer on her like how I found Frank.”

“And?” Billy said impatiently.

“And she’s been going in and out of this building every day for the last few weeks, until yesterday. She went in and hasn’t come back out.”

“Micro, you brilliant son of a bitch, I could kiss you!” Billy yelled. “Frank, get on the horn with Matt, tell him to get Rand and Wing back here. We have an op to plan.”

You awoke with a start. It was still pitch dark in your room and you didn’t hear so much as a whisper of breath or shuffle of fabric.

“Who’s there?” you said quietly, hating the waver in your voice.

“It would seem I have misjudged you,” the disembodied voice of the elderly woman. “I saw nothing to inspire such hatred in you, but neither did I see the potential for you to inspire such love, either.”

“What do you mean? What are you talking about?” you asked, attempting to peer into the darkness and see her.

“You have friends in high places. And I underestimated your toy soldier,” she said, voice almost fading away at the end.

“Billy? Is Billy here?” you asked frantically, but there was no answer, and when you scrambled out of bed and over to the light switch, you were alone in the room.

But the door was slightly open.

You crept out into the hallway, terrified but not missing the opportunity to sneak out. As you moved away from your room, you began to hear what sounded like a fight – and then you heard a gunshot.

“Where is she?” you heard Billy scream.

“Billy!!” you yelled as loud as you could, moving toward the sound of his voice.

You reached a room at the end of the hallway where there was what could only be called a battle in progress. Billy, Frank, Daredevil?, a blonde kid you didn’t recognize and an Asian woman were fighting the elderly Asian woman’s guards, Billy and Frank slashing madly with knives while Curtis stayed behind them with a rifle.

You stayed back so that you couldn’t be used against them by being a human shield, but not running to Billy and being quiet so you didn’t distract them was the hardest thing you had ever done.

Finally, the last of the guards dropped and you stepped out of hiding so Billy could see you.

Billy looked at you and you nodded, ready to face your abductor.

“Honey, I’m home,” Billy called out as he entered your shared apartment.

Madani jumped up from where she had been sitting on the couch waiting for Billy to return. “It’s after 3, where the hell have you been?” she asked angrily.

“Aww honeybunch, were you worried about me?” Billy said with what almost seemed to Madani like…sarcasm?

Just then there was a brief knock followed by Frank, Curtis and Micro letting themselves in.

“Oh, hey, I told the guys you’d make us something to eat,” Billy said with a big smile. “You don’t mind, do ya Buttercup?”

Madani narrowed her eyes and bit her tongue.

“Billy, you know how much I hate sappy pet names like that,” you said in Madani’s voice.

Billy’s voice was cold as he, Curtis and Frank all pulled guns on faux-you. “Don’t move, Madani,” he growled.

“Yeah,” you said as she watched her tiny body emerge from behind the large men. “He won’t kill that body, but I told him it was OK to put a couple bullet holes in discreetly.”

Behind you was Daredevil, of all people, and a blond kid that looked slightly familiar. 

Madani looked over at Billy and sneered, “I really didn’t think you were smart enough to figure this out at all, let alone in one day.”

“That’s funny, I always gave you credit for being smart enough to do some investigating before running into a situation,” he said with an icy smile. “I knew something was up before I even opened my eyes this morning.”

You watched Madani’s hateful expression on your face and said, “Damn, babe, do I look that ugly when I’m mad at you or is she just radiating her inner bitch that much?”

“All her, hon,” Billy replied with a small smile.

“In that case, I think it’s time we put her inner bitch back in her outer bitch, don’t you?”

Danny had performed the ritual to return you to your body and then had taken Madani with him, saying he would take her to a place called K'un-Lun to be tried for using dark magic. He assured you that you would never have to worry about Madani coming after either of you for misdirected revenge again.

You had taken a hot shower after they had gone and had been so relieved to feel your own skin, scars and cellulite that you almost cried. But what actually did make you cry in the shower was the fact that while you could tell he was happy to have you back, Billy had made no move to kiss you or touch you in any way. 

Had Madani ruined what you had with Billy?

You were sitting on the edge of the bed, still wrapped in a towel, hair dripping down your back and shoulders as you stared into space.

“Hon?” Billy said gently, standing right in front of you. He knelt before you and ran his thumbs over your cheeks. “I’m so sorry this happened to you because of me. I know you’re probably furious with me –”

“What?” you interrupted, surprised. “I’m not mad at you, love.”

“I understand if you are,” he whispered, not meeting your eyes.

“William, look at me,” you said firmly. When his big brown eyes met yours, you saw pain and fear in their depths. “I don’t blame you for this.”

“How can you not?” he whispered.

“Hey,” you said, “this is on that crazy bitch, not you.”

“I brought this home to you. I should have never gotten involved with you, you’re too g–”

You grabbed his hair and pulled him into a kiss, silencing him and showing him how wrong he was. When you pulled apart you were both panting. 

“William Russo, I never want to hear you say you aren’t good enough or you shouldn’t be with me, because I love you more than anyone else in the world.” You leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose, then gently said, “So shut the hell up, OK?”

Billy grinned. “Yes, ma'am.”

“You knew before you even opened your eyes, huh?” you asked, part shy and somehow part smug.

Billy chuckled. “Yeah, she might have stolen your body, but she could never be you. You’re beautiful physically, yes, but your inner beauty shines brighter than anything,” he said almost reverently. “So, yeah, I knew something was wrong right away, because your touch just radiates love, and that was missing.”

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that, Billy,” you whispered,caressing his beard.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise. “Honey, you were the one in danger! I don’t know what I would do without you.”

You threw yourself into Billy’s arms. “You never have to find out,” you said. Then you kissed him and you held one another until you fell asleep wrapped around each other, both thankful to be together and safe.

@marauder–harder / @giggleberts / @thesandbeneathmytoes  / @banditthewriter / @heyitslexy  /  @marauderskeeper / @squidscottjeans  / @russosprettydiamondnow / @iamnotbenbarneswifeyet /  @cutie-bug / @joelynnp / @sssilverssserpent / @acciophoenx / @presstocontinue / @suchatinyinfinity /  @fortisfiliae / @chibiyanai / @raquelbc2003 / @i-padfootblack-things / @rousakousa / @ponycake27 / @hermionegranger  / @drinix  / @something-tofightfor / @life-is-a-melody / @libbymouse   / @letsdanceinthedark/ @lilywoood / @ivegotillegalsinmybottom / @irinazatyk / @thinemineours / @ssserpensortiaaa / @starless-skyox / @lalafral / @hxbbit / @itsjustmylifeconfessions / @buddha-for-satan / @youveseen–thebutcher / @swiftyhowlz  / @shinebrightlikeafanbase / @moonyscardigans / @iaintnofurry / @heytherecix / @ladyblablabla / @damalseer / @starkrobb / @ymariejp / @projectcampbell / @agent-scully-182 / @saralou23/ @blackcoffeeandgreenteaforme / @ethereal-heavcns / @songtoyou/ @morriganwarrior / @training-wheeels / @breanime / @ifoundmyhappythought / @firecracker98 / @poedamneronhoe / @dylanobrusso / @0-cries-0 / @my-little-dumpster-fire / @shadowhunterscloset / @suna-the-lost-cause / @disengagefrmreality / @achishisha / @curlyhairedblueeyedangel / @editboutique / @traeumerinwitzhelden / @ripsithskywalkers / @littledarlinhavefaithinme / @thesumofmychoices / @propertyofpoeandbucky / @whovianayesha /  @weallhaveadestiny / @saltyshaggymeme / @daffodilsbucky / @abroadcastofthemind​

[orbitluke]

Birdie - Robin Buckley

Birdie – R.B

Robin Buckley x Reader

A/N: I haven’t written in so long, so apologies for any grammatical errors. I appreciate any feedback and I hope you enjoy :)

Word Count: 2688

Warnings: Angst? 

Summary: Robin has been too scared to let her feelings for the Reader be known and she’s terrified she might have left it too late.

Italics indicate a flashback.

 _________

Robin had sprawled out along the couch in the backroom of home video, making herself comfy as she watched you idly from across the room. You were sat with your back to her, legs crossed on the small chair, surrounded by a bunch of sheets. She watched with curiosity, as you shuffle a few documents, eyes drifting along each paper thoroughly to make sure everything you had written made sense. She couldn’t help her lips quirk up as you let out a frustrated sigh before picking up your pencil, taking the opposite end and dragging it roughly across the page, so you could amend your mistake. She noticed how the flimsy table you were stationed at shook slightly due to your movements, bits of rubber flying off the sides. Your lips were pressed in a fine line and brows furrowed in confusion as you read over the last few lines once more. Robin could see your shoulders visibly relaxing as you placed your pencil beside the various sheets of paper in a moment of relief as you finally finished.

It seemed Keith had given you the task to reorganise next month’s work schedule, to which you insisted you definitely weren’t certified to do so, however, he claimed it didn’t matter as long he had something decent by Monday, persisting he would do it but, he had to leave for a ‘family emergency’ and would have no time over the weekend to do so. He left with the promise he’d let you have next Friday off if you stayed behind to get it done. Robin scoffed at this, insisting that this ‘emergency’ probably entailed Keith and the pile of movies she saw him check out earlier. However, since he was technically store manager you couldn’t really dispute the matter.

“I can’t believe Keith is making you do that shit,” Robin spoke, alerting you she was no longer napping after the 12-hour shift she had just done. Typically she wouldn’t be so affected by it, but she had informed you earlier, that last night she and some pretty girl went to a concert somewhere near Illinois, resulting in her getting home at 7 AM, a mere 2 hours before her shift started.

She sat up straight, twisting her body either side trying to get rid of the kinks that had formed in her lower back. She glanced at the clock, realising it was now 9:56 PM and her shift had ended a little over an hour ago. She could’ve easily gone home straight after her shift, but felt bad that Keith had left you to lock up and sort out the schedule, therefore, decided she would keep you company whilst you finished up, however, as soon as her body hit the couch she could feel sleep consuming her.

“Hey birdie, enjoy your nap?” You asked, twisting your body to face her, your arm hanging lazily over the top of the chair.

Robin’s heart soared at the use of the nickname you had given her a while back after the two of you got far too drunk at Tammy Thompson’s house party and ended up pressed against each other in Tammy’s bath, legs dangling over the sides as you drunkenly laughed and reminisced over your friendship together.

**

“I still can’t believe you punched Joshua McKenna in the nose in 4th grade for saying my Wonder Woman T-shirt sucked.” You laughed, letting out a little snort, as your head lay against Robin’s shoulder.

Robin’s heart was pounding at your close proximity. She could feel every movement you made, the way your shoulders shook as you laughed and she could swear she felt you move closer to her, your left hand coming up from your side and interlocking with hers.

“McKenna was a dick. Still is,” She remarked, “And his taste in superheroes? Whack!” Robin exclaimed, gesturing wildly with her right hand, forgetting that your hands were interlaced, therefore, causing your whole body to move with her, and heat rise to her face in embarrassment.

“Sorry.” She murmured, moving her hand away from yours and into her lap. She glanced at you for a small second, admiring the way your eyes gleamed even in the dull lighting of the bathroom. She noticed you now had the side of your head pressed against the cool tile wall, staring at her with a glazed look in your eyes.

You were both still extremely drunk.

“What for birdie?” You whispered, leaning forward until your foreheads were pressed together. Robin felt like she was about to combust, her heart moments, if not seconds away from exploding. You let a melodious laugh, your eyes flickering between Robin’s eyes and lips.

This had to be the alcohol speaking, Robin thought, too terrified to think what this meant if it wasn’t.

Slowly, Robin leaned in, a breath away from your lips. Her eyes closed, trying to take this all in, however, a moment of clarity made her reconsider.

“Birdie?” Robin questioned, moving back, letting out an awkward laugh and shaking her head slightly at your remark in an attempt to ease whatever tension seemed to have built-up between the two of you. Robin looked back at you and she could swear she saw hurt flash across your face, but as quickly as it had appeared, it was gone.

“Yeah, Birdie!” You laughed lightly, scrunching your face in embarrassment, too afraid to meet her gaze. “Robin is a type bird, therefore, you are my little birdie.” You smiled softly, finally looking up at her.

Before Robin had the chance to even process what had happened, loud banging filled the small room, accompanied by someone asking if the bathroom was vacant.

Almost relieved by the presence of someone else, you yelled back that you’d be just a moment, before clumsily pushing yourself out of the tub and gesturing for her to take your hand so she could also get up.

Robin walked in front of you, letting go of your hand. Your heart faltering at the lack of touch. Robin opened the bathroom door to reveal none other than Joshua McKenna causing the two of you to let out a bright laugh and stumble out of the room, leaving the boy confused, but Robin was somewhat relieved that you were able to leave behind whatever tension had come between the two.

 **

“I’m not even going to be here next month, so I’m literally writing myself out of the schedule.” You groaned, snapping Robin out of her thoughts, as you scoot your chair around to face her. She was finally sitting up straight, hugging her knees to her chest with her head propped between them, hair a little unruly from her nap.

Her heart dropped a little as you brought up the fact you were leaving. Soon to be a freshman in college, meeting new people, whilst she had yet another year of High School left before she had a taste of freedom.

“I gave Keith the late Wednesday shift, so you no longer have to deal with Mrs Jameson.” You mused, remembering how Robin was laid on your bed one weekend, ranting about this older woman who seemed to come in every Wednesday just before closing. She would rent the same movie, but not before gossiping about her sister’s promiscuity and because Robin was far too polite to dismiss her, this caused Robin to lock up long after her shift was supposed to end.

 **

“Perhaps she has a thing for you.” You smirked, wiggling your eyebrows. “I mean Steve said she came in asking for you last week. Seemed that she only wanted to you to ring her up.” You continued, causing Robin to press her face into your pillow and let out a disgusted groan.

“She’s old enough to be my mother.” Robin shrieked, however, you couldn’t help notice the blush that stained her cheeks.

“Never stopped anyone before.” You quipped, moving from your spot on the floor where you were busy folding laundry and flopped down beside Robin. “I mean I’m pretty sure Billy has a thing for Mrs Wheeler.”

“Yeah but that’s Mrs Wheeler,” Robin laughed, lifting her face from your pillow. You looked at her in shock.

“What? She’s hot.” Robin defended, rolling on to her side so she could look at you properly. “Like really hot.”

“Not as hot as me though, right?” You half-joked, a part of you a little jealous at Robin’s revelation regarding Mrs Wheeler’s hotness, but nevertheless quickly changing the conversation by announcing that you needed to shower, so she could happily help herself to your Walkman or your selection of comics that laid on your bedside table. But as soon as you got up from your bed and made your way into your bathroom, Robin whispered to herself, “Defiantly not.” with a smile tainting her lips as she was undoubtedly infatuated by you. 

**

You realised Robin wasn’t paying attention, instead, she seemed to be in a world of her own, whilst picking at her nails, a habit that formed whenever she became nervous.

“Hey birdie, you good?” You questioned, your eyes softening as she met your gaze.

“I’m going to miss you.” Her voice faltering as an overwhelming feeling of sadness consumed her, causing her eyes to become shadowy with unshed tears.

“What do you mean B?” You inquired, placing your hand on her knee as a form of comfort, however, the mere touch of your hand seemed to heat her whole body, awakening something inside of her.

“Fuck.” Robin shifted in her seat, now sitting with her legs crossed, but your hand remained still.

“You’re going away to college and leaving me.” She half smiled, wiping the palm of her hand under her eyes in an attempt to stop any tears from falling. She clasped her other hand around yours loosely, mindlessly playing with your fingertips.

“You still have Steve.” You responded, hoping to lighten the mood. Robin rolled her eyes, trying to feign amusement, but you knew deep down she felt just as deflated as you did.

The idea of leaving Robin was gut-wrenching. Not being able to see her every day was a foreign concept to you. She was an integral part of your life, often coming over late at night, shimming up the tree adjacent from your bedroom window just so you had someone to help lull you to sleep and bring you comfort when things weren’t going well, but now you were going to University a few states away and this would no longer be possible. You would no longer see her face every day as you walked into Home Video with two coffee’s clasp in your hand to help get you both through the early morning shifts. Her sarcastic jokes and quarrels with Steve would now just be a memory.

“What about that about the girl you went to the concert with,” You continued, your words becoming weak with every breath. “Angelia was it? She seems nice.”

Lies. You could feel bile rising in your throat at the thought of Robin with another girl. When she first told you about her, you responded politely, trying not to show your lack of delight for this unknown girl, but when she told you that she was technically the reason for her lack of sleep the night before, you realised this was it. You no longer had a chance and she was obviously into this girl.

Pausing momentarily, Robin then whispered,

“Yeah, but she’s not you.”

Robin hated how desperate she sounded, close to tears just because the girl she loved would longer going to live a few streets over, but instead in a whole new state where she could easily find people to replace her. Selfishly she wished you had chosen a University close by so it was easier for her to see you, but Robin knew how much you longed to leave Hawkins. This small town wasn’t made for people like you, an open mind that needed to thrive with others similar, not constraint to a town so lifeless. Going to New York seemed like a once in a lifetime opportunity, especially after working so hard to be granted a scholarship. 

Realistically Robin knew that you going to college didn’t mean the end of your friendship. She could phone you, even commute, but something felt so wrong about letting you leave town without telling you how she truly felt.

“We can still see each other right? I’ll be home during break and you and Steve can get the train there whenever you like. I’m not gonna forget you Birdie, you’re my best friend.”

 “That’s it though.” Robin paused, letting out a bitter laugh. “I don’t want to be your friend anymore.”

“I’m only going to University Robin.” You spoke defensively, your mind racing as you moved from your chair to the seat beside Robin on the couch.

It almost felt foreign hearing you call her by her actual name, so used to the way your lips formed her nickname.

 “I’m in love you Y/N/N.” 

 Robin’s heart was pounding as you let out a bellowing laugh. Instantly filling with dread. She swore she could feel her heart shattering. This was it, you were rejecting her and any chance of salvaging a friendship had been destroyed by her declaration of love.

“Robin,” She looked up to meet your gaze. The silence that had consumed the break room was defending. Apart of her wanted to make a break for it, take her bike and ride as far away from Hawkins as she could.

Taking a breath, you tightened your grip around Robin’s hand, pulling her closer until you were only inches away and spoke slowly with utter confidence.

“I love you too. I have done for so long and the idea of not being able to see you every day hurts.” You let out a soft cry. “Fuck B, I thought you really didn’t want to friends for a sec. I don’t want to be without you.”

Breathlessly, you leaned forward so your foreheads were touching, much like when you were both drunk in Tammy Thompson’s bathroom, except there was no sense of reluctance. Robin emitted a small chuckle, her heart leaping at your confession. Finally, Robin gained the courage to lean in and press a kiss against your lips, melting at your touch as you moved in sync with one another, emotion filling you both with warmth. You moved your hands from Robin’s grasp and wrapped your arms around her neck pulling her closer to you. Your chests were now touching as you eagerly tried to keep up with one another, a small moan slipping past her lips as you attempted to make up for the lost time. Her lips fit perfectly against yours, moving in unison until you both pulled apart breathlessly, forehead pressed together with relief and a new sense of giddiness flooding you both. 

 “I wanted to do that for so long.” You exasperated, moving back slightly so you could take her all in.

 “So have I.” Robin replied, lifting her thumb to stroke your cheek gently.

 “What about Angelica.” You questioned, suddenly coming to the realisation that there was perhaps someone out there that would make this proclamation of love pointless.

“There’s nothing to say about Angelia,” Robin spoke. “I only agreed to go out with her to make you jealous.”

You gasped at her words in amusement, relief flooding you.

“Can’t say I feel bad for her though. She ended up abandoning me for some red-headed chick. All I could think about was you.” Robin mused, leaning in close so you could feel her smile against your lips.

“Really?” You questioned. Robin nodded, kind of embarrassed by this confession.

You leaned in once more, pressing a rotation of kisses on either of her cheeks and finally closing the gap between your lips.

“I really do love you Birdie. We can make this work” 

[mothfishing]

i know in canon it’s most likely that ion has no issues with aloe, but there’s actually a lot of reasons that i tend to headcanon and portray otherwise

the first and most obvious one is that it seems strange to me that, if ion and aloe had a good relationship, that ion would turn on aloe as easily as they did. they were totally up for cyborg’s revenge plan - and the fact that they pretty quickly cooled down and stopped going after cookies upon actually meeting some could be explained by ion, well, actually meeting some and learning otherwise, but the same explanation doesn’t hold for aloe bc ion presumably already knew aloe. 

something i find interesting is that ion, in the part of their story half depicting their and cyborg’s escape, says, “Now learning: freedom.” but the thing is, we have absolutely no explanation for why this would be something ion is now learning, something that’s a foreign concept to them. why would they have been locked up? 

so we see that ion had been kept in the lab, and ion had turned on aloe seemingly quickly. these facts all together aren’t exactly conducive to the two of them having a good relationship, imo. and while cyborg may have forgiven aloe quickly due to a shared history, ion doesn’t have that reason. therefore, it just kind of makes more sense to me if ion still doesn’t like aloe that much.

the second reason is that, well - i’ve spoken a lot about how aloe as portrayed in canon is on kind of thin ice for me, just because much as i love AI run (i’m its biggest fan!), it wasn’t exactly well-written, and the end result is aloe comes off kind of terribly despite the story clearly pushing the idea that seeing aloe as bad was supposed to be just a misunderstanding. anyway, i actually don’t dislike aloe - i mean, damn, i have over 700 spirit potions saved so i can max aloe + pet day 1 - but a lot of that comes w i guess reinterpreting canon events so aloe well. apologizes, for one, and actually tries to make up for the suffering they caused cyborg.

but when you have a character who fucks up in a big way, and you want em to make up for it...imo it’s better to show them experiencing some lasting (though not necessarily permanent) consequence, because it’s not always so simple as “i’m sorry, so it should be all better and there should be no loose ends and i shouldn’t have any problems caused by what i did.” and aloe DID fuck up in a big way - cyborg was upset to the point of trashing the lab and escaping with the cookiebots to wreak havoc. 

and i think aloe can make up for it; i don’t think they’re like, irredeemable or anything. but i do kind of think aloe should face some sort of lasting consequence for what they did. so while cyborg is more forgiving, 99.9% of which is due to the previously mentioned shared history and memories, maybe ion, who lacks that stuff, isn’t. sometimes you just have to deal with the fact that you fucked up and now your relationship with your baby robot is heavily damaged and they dislike you now.

it doesn’t mean ion and aloe will never ever make up, just that it would take a lot of time before that can happen.

[alwaysabeautifullife]

Dear meme mom, how's it going? Any advice on how to grow in self-confidence?

I know everyone disagrees but I believe the whole “fake it till you make it” thing. Confidence has to start somewhere, you have to count one after zero.

When I was younger, I cried a lot in school. I missed my mom and my youngest brother. I got called cry baby. I wore dirty clothes, I had dirt on my arms, with rivers of clean skin that ran through the dirt from the water dripping to my elbows when I washed my hands. I had fully brown greasy hair and wore the same socks everyday. I accepted my friends hand-me-downs who were much smaller than me, curling my toes up in their shoes, the tops of my feet always felt bruised.

I remember hiding a lot, in corners of the library, under desks and in the furthest boundaries of the school during lunch or breaks.

The girls all followed that trend of wearing that thong with low cut jeans, the “whale tail” it was called. Girls would sit down and you could see their underwear with cute little clouds or animals where the thong meets the waist of the panty. It wasn’t even sexual, it was just “cool”. I’d tuck my regular underwear down low, cover my back with a long shirt. I remember wanting those underwear.

After middle school I realized I could never afford to look like all the other girls. My parents weren’t going to buy me clothes, so I thought I could at least act like the girls that guys seemed to like. So I did things the other girls did, party, humiliate myself for weird entertainment, every time someone offered me something it felt like a dare, and as cliche as it was, I literally did so many disgusting things to prove myself to a group of people that basically used me as entertainment. I was never a part of anyone’s group, or friendship, I was the joke. I was something to laugh at and talk about later, and I settled for that for a long time because having someone laugh at you and doing all these extreme things for some sort of twisted false admiration was better than being mocked constantly. It was better than feeling like I didn’t exist. Maybe I wanted to be seen.

I never wanted to fit in, it was never that. I wanted to have friendship, to have love. Not necessarily romantic, but familial, since all that had abruptly stopped. I wanted to feel closeness. I did things with boys I didn’t even like. I absolutely hated myself.

One night, it all ended. I remember laying in bed, and i can’t remember the reason, but i felt so angry. I don’t know at what. I remember being tired, tired of laying all night long wondering what was so wrong with me, what was so off? I thought about a lot of things, I cried an angry cry and I screamed and I will never forget the thought I had “fuck it”.

What did I have to loose, in being me?

The next day I absolutely changed. I was going to be myself in every possible way, and I hoped that people hated me for it. I hoped they would choke on me like a piece of meat they could no longer chew. I wore what I was comfortable wearing, clothes I had, dirty, clean, whatever. If I wore the same clothes everyday I wouldn’t hide it, I’d say it out loud. I’d scream everything out loud about me, authentically. I had edges, I had sharpness, I cut my way through the concept of who I “wanted” to be. I wasn’t shy anymore, I said what I wanted, I didn’t censor myself, my words, I was me, aggressively me.

I stood up for myself, and for others a lot. To other people and to teachers.

My life changed. There is a power in being hated. I focused on what I wanted to, my school work, my art. I rubbed who I was in everyone’s faces. I lived, for the first time I lived. My focus no longer was gaining the love of others around me, it was the absolute beginning of being who I really was, the first step in loving myself.

Strangely, all the sudden I became well liked. People talked to me, confided in me, I formed friends and bonds for the first time, something I couldn’t do before when I hid who I was.

I’ve had periods of my life where I became a coward, the girl who cries in the corner, but in the end I always find myself. Everyday in every situation that I find myself having some small insecurity i tell myself “who cares, anyone’s opinion of me doesn’t matter.” As simple as it sounds, it worked for me. Sometimes, I’ll be getting ready to go to the store and I’ll be stressing about the way I look, maybe I need a shower, maybe the only nice shoes I own are wet, and then I stop myself. I lift my chin up, put on some sweats and some slippers, throw on dark red lipstick and hop in the car, I won’t let the opinion of others control my life, control who I am. Ever. I won’t drop a bead of sweat for anyone else’s opinion of me.

Who better than you, to do the things you want to do in life? You can’t give your dreams and who you are away to someone else for people who are a mere backdrop in your life right now-your peers, your coworkers. Confidence is just freedom, it’s freedom to be who you are relentlessly, authentically, aggressively. It’s laughing loud, and loving what you love. It’s not being afraid of the eyes or the whispers, glaring right back at them and smiling, yelling their rumors out loud like it’s a joke. I remember being called some pretty disgusting things as a teen, and yelling “did you hear everyone? Apparently I’m a ______!” Then laughing down the hall and heading to my keyboard class.

I know now days there’s the additional pressure of celebrities and stuff like Instagram or whatever that disfigure how we see who we truly are, but the moment you look in the mirror and see your body as your body and say “everyone will accept my body or they can drop like flies” you remove the power other people hold over you, people you don’t even know, people who are simply selling you a fantasy or an idea. Do not live to impress anyone, ever, scream who you are until it rattles the skins of others. Don’t look down when you walk. Know that the dreams you have you will achieve simply because of who you are, you were made for it, period.

[laughing-with-god]

My Kpop Unpopular Opinons

The ‘K’ in Kpop is there for a reason....

It stands for Korean. Not American. I might be the only one who gets annoyed by how much Kpop groups are outsourcing to America. Mainly BTS since they got the farthest. But it honestly has become such a poisonous thing to me. I am half Korean and my family is very patriotic of their beautiful country. And it’s almost a colonization mindset or cultural appropriation to take a countries’ gem (such as Kpop) and demand it be taken over to YOUR country, to demand that idols learn YOUR language, to say that because Bts got praise in America they MUST be the best Kpop group. Is America the only country that matters? Should new Kpop groups try hard to appeal to Americans while their fellow Koreans take a back burner? Why can’t you let Korea have its own thing and enjoy it without trying to make it into something that’s easier for you to digest?

Stop Supporting Youtube Channels who are Using Kpop for Clout

The Talko, Watch mojo, Reaction channels and even fucking TRISHA PAYTAS. Youtubers be using Kpop for clout bc they know it’s gotten popular lately. But you hoes are the demand to the supply. STOP GIVING THESE HOES CLICKS. on a regular day, you’d hate a fake fan but are all ready to watch some YouTuber who ran out of ideas use BTS to get some views. And the info that The Talko And Watch mojo use isn’t even groundbreaking! They’d be like “did you know that Suga’s real name is Yoongi?” sis....no. Support Kpop news sites that actually are about the Korean industry as a whole and not just getting your view by using BTS.

We need to talk about the Kpop industry being ‘problematic’ and ‘slave contracts’

Idols signed up for this lifestyle. They signed up for restricted freedom, dieting, practicing a lot and working almost 24/7. Am I saying it’s right? Not necessarily...I think if an idol is fainting, very underweight and not getting their 8 hours every night then obvi the company/management needs to be handled. But we need to calm the witch hunt for some companies bc your oppa/unnie is fully aware what their career entails. And instead of coming for SM or any particular company, strive for reformation of the whole industry.

Idols are sometimes problematic....and we need to call it out

This is mainly aimed towards the problematic comments some idols have made about skin tone. I’ve seen a lot of people become upset by Wendy’s blackcent or the blackface history of Mamamoo’s past and they have every right to be. A lot of fans come to their defense and say things like “in Korea, pale skin is valued more than dark skin. (Idol name) just didn’t know better.” Well...if they didn’t know better then we should teach them better! And don’t attack other fans who are genuinely hurt about the comments/actions. I watched an unpopular opinion video and they said “people who are quick to call an idol problematic are annoying.” I’m sorry but who are you to tell someone what they can and cannot be offended by? Esp when there are TONS of black/dark skinned Kpop fans whose very skin was just insulted....

Anaylsis videos/posts about your fav otp is problematic.

Calm down. It could be real and it could not be. I already talked about this on my blog before so I’m not gonna beat a dead horse. But you’re forcing a narrative to satisfy your little fantasy.

BTS SHOULD GET MILLITARY TIME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE

In Korea, every man has to serve millitary time. It’s downright disrespectful to cherry pick a guy bc he’s famous and exempt him from his duties. Really? How the fuck should the rest of the Korean male population in boot camps feel that Jungkook got to skip his time bc he just so happens to have tons of fangirls who want to hop on his dick? Does fame get you everywhere? Is that the message you want to spread? Disgusting. If I see that in my feed, I’m blocking you hoes.

2NE1 and Big Bang ran so BlackPink and Bts could walk.

New Kpop fans want to act like Black Pink and BTS invented the fucking wheel. Wrong. Big Bang was a big inspiration to Bts and they were part of the first bridge between the western world and Kpop. Without Big Bang, Kpop wouldn’t be as big in America/other western countries as it is now. And if that didn’t happen, then Bts would loose the majority of its fan base now. And black pink is literally a copy of 2ne1, it’s not the girls fault but YG itself who knew they lost a big girl group. 2NE1 literally invented the girl crush concept and also made big leaps in the western world. Give credit where it’s due. Thank you, next.

Seungri shouldn’t have quit being an idol, he should’ve quit his businesses.

His businesses were the reason his whole scandal began. I’m not saying I was going to support him if he continued making music but like to come out and say “everyone, as punishment I’m quitting being an idol instead of the businesses that actually caused all this drama!” is the most un self-aware response.

If you stan one group, you aren’t a Kpop stan.

Korean Pop. Not BTS pop. Not BlackPink pop. Not EXO pop. Sis.....it’s like saying you know Spanish bc you can say ‘hola’. That’s a MOLESCULE to what the genre actually holds.

Big Hit not Allowing girl trainees is highkey sexist.

Yes, I’m aware of what happened to the one girl group that came from Big Hit. But honestly that’s a funny excuse. One bad thing happened and now he’s gonna ban all females? I remember this tweet that resided with me about the Empire actor faking a hate crime. It said “If one faked hate crime is enough to make you question and judge all the others....it’s almost as if you were looking for an excuse all along.” (Paraphrased.) all I’m saying is all women aren’t evil so why are the rest of inspiring girls wanting to be an idols getting punished?

Ladies, we need to treat our fellow women better.

I want to see more support for girl idols. I want us to raise them so they can be at the same level as some of these boy groups. I know we find Bts, Got7, NCT, Exo ect to be very handsome and charming but we shouldn’t abandon other women for the sake of pretty boys. Let’s hype them up. Girl groups can be talented too and we would want support if we were them. Feminists where are you when we need you??

NCT’s concept is a flop.

People don’t wanna stan a group whose members are endless and always changing. We want a group that we can relax with, grow with and truly form a bond with. This is unable to do when we constantly are seeing new faces and trying to remember names.

(This is not at all forced on anyone but I want to see some ppl’s unpopular opinions. @goldngguk @chimchimsauce @yn-dere @yeollie-yeollie if you guys wanna share any pls do, I’m all ears and tag me in it.)