#freakptarmigan

[c0smicjayy]

Would you rather be in a coma for 20 years, or have 20 years retracted from your lifespan?

under a readmore bc this is probably dark and a bit accidentally vent heavy but tldr: idk!

tysm for the ask tho i really appreciate it :3

soo this is definitely a difficult question to answer? i think to a lot of people they'd believe the outcome would be the same but it wouldnt to me

I'm disabled. my very existence in unfortunately a strain on others as i have to rely on them and my family is very very poor. if i went into a coma, that would be a further cost to those i love and there's nothing that feels worse to me than knowing i cant do anything but take and take from everyone around me

if i died earlier, people could move on and ik for a fact that that would most likely be beneficial to my family. I've cut off contact with them before and they thrived in my absence and it was when i moved back in that everything went back downhill. maybe that was a coincidence but I can't help but feel like that was my fault, that I'm some sorta bad luck charm to them all? idk im just finally in a place where, though everything still hurts just as much as it did before, i can truly say i dont want to die?

its probably selfish of me to consider but a part of me wants to pick the coma bc it's a guarantee that when i wake up i'd be able to see how my little siblings grew up, I'd be able to see if my absence truly affected others outside of the money part, and maybe me waking up would bring everything ive accidentally destroyed back together? everyone would probably fawn over me for a bit, even if they ending up resenting me for the coma and what it costed to keep me alive during it. and if i was in a coma for twenty years i feel like people would be way more forgiving after when I don't know what I'm doing and struggle with simply existing than they do now, at least for a bit of time anyway

this is probably a bit nonsensical and too much thought for the simple question im sorry

[coiled-dragon]

Tag Game!

Starting a fresh thread because I dislike the long ones-

Tagged by @hesawifebeaterdanusethegun

Last movie/TV show - Eli Roth's History of Horror

Last song - Kiss Me (Kill Me) by JerryTerry ft JuKayVid

Favorite color - Purple!

Sweet/spicy/savory - Sweet+Spicy combo babyyy

Currently watching - Game Grumps

Relationship status - Poly, Married + Dating 3 others ♥

Current obsession - still Renfield/Dracfield baybee

Last thing I googled - "Verily Definition"

Tagging: @yandereforelorn @yaschiri @freakptarmigan @pinkiepiebones and anyone else who wants to do it

[coiled-dragon]

2023 Character Wrapped

Share your Top 10 Characters of this year! Tagged by @fandomsmeantheworldtome

I thought this would be hard and it was a *tiny* bit only because obviously, my brain has been swallowed whole for MOST of the year by ONE MOVIE but for everyones sake I wont take up half the list with that cast of characters dfgsfhdgf

Renfield (Renfield 2023)

OBVIOUSLY pookie was gonna be the number one for this year. I have over 30 fics of this brainworm of a human being, this wet cat kicked puppy submissive-like-a-guard-dog-is-submissive looking ass. EATS HIM WHOLE

2. Dracula (All Iterations)

The king of vampires comes in tandem with his subservient little worm, though he might be upset that he's second in my list. Between listening to the Audiobook of Dracula, listening to Re: Dracula, watching Renfield (2023), Dracula (1931), Count Dracula (1977), Van Helsing (2004), Bram Stoker's Dracula (1992), The Last Voyage of the Demeter (2023).... I'm just so overwhelmingly in love with the character in all iterations, and have learned a lot about the man he was based on, too

3. Art the Clown (Terrifier)

He was the end of 2022's obsession that carried into 2023, and I still love this stupid fucking clown SO so much still

4. Jonathan Sims (The Magnus Archives)

The podcast that grabbed me by the throat and commanded all of my attention for a few good months, its hard not to have grown attached to the Archivist himself ♥

5. Daisy Tonner (The Magnus Archives)

WEREWOLF LESBIAN WEREWOLF LESBIAN WEREWOLF LESBIAN WEREWOLF LESBIAN

6. Chris Walker (Outlast)

PEOPLE DONT LOVE THIS FUCKING BRICK HOUSE OF A MAN BUT I SURE FUCKING DO. I need him to destroy me in as many ways as physically possible...................

7. Swiss (The Band Ghost)

BARK BARK BARK BARK I love Swiss so much hnngrngngrg

8. The Janitor (Willy's Wonderland)

Still one of my most favorite Nic Cage characters, we stan a mute austistic man who beats the fuck out of some animatronics in this fantastic FNAF knockoff

9. Buggy (OPLA)

LOOK IM SORRY AT MY HEART IM A CLOWN FUCKER AND THIS FUCKING CLOWN IS SO IMPOSSIBLY MY TYPE....

10. Karlach (Baldurs Gate 3)

Im so so so very gay for my on fire wife,,,

Tagging: @captainx-camino @sweetbreads @freakptarmigan @neophytepagan @robinsnest2111 and anyone else who wants to do this! Dont feel pressured if youre not up for it tho <3