#fr this is my go-to remedy when i feel like shit

[m1ckeyb3rry]

HOW IS IT OVER THERE?? Hopefully the weather’s treating you well in Switzerland!

Also DOG PERSON KARASU Lowk I can also see it…I was not expecting that breed though lowk LMAO I also thought it was a spaniel of sorts but?? I’m just gonna trust whoever made the post bc I mean the visuals aren’t insanely detailed either so…ok but trench coat Karasu >>>>> Lowk I saw people hating on the tan and I’m like that’s not what I’m complaining about LMFAO maybe people got too used to the blue???

Them matching the dogs with their teams is sooo cute but also a funny Easter egg for those who don’t read!! Ok but ummmm tabieitaken WHERES THE EITA??? I’m ngl I’m a little surprised Reo is there since he’s not as pivotal to the third selection but maybe it’s a marketing moment….

Ok and definitely like hey…shit talking is Lowk necessary….like I kinda use it as a way to like warn friends of red flags or bad people….i agree in moderation though LMAO like people who shit on others for no reason <<<<

I’m ngl o completely forgot what I wrote before and when I started reading abt yuki I thought you meant Yukimiya and was astronomically lost but I GET IT NOW!!’ But FR she literally was on campus for like 5 min and had already been like no contact with the school for so long like what???

Omfg the “you have 13 minutes before I kill you” is SO. BAROU!!! Like the epitome of Barou if you ever decide to write something like this I’m advocating for this line to make the cut!!!

LMFAOOOO IBS ALLEGATIONS IM CRYING BUT FR!!! I wonder what he’d do to get Barou to go on a date or if he’d even bother approaching Rin LMAOO something about yuki comically losing his shit has me giggling

Omg NOOO thats actually the worst!! Manifesting that your bc adjusting period speeds up right about now!!!! And I hope you didn’t have to go through motion sickness for the whole like 8 hours but at least now you can get some fresh air!! Was there a lot of turbulence or is it just kinda a plane sickness sort of thing? Either way hoping it isn’t as bad on your return flight! I’m trying to think of some nausea remedies….I think the fastest one ik of is ginger based items (courtesy of a friend who shoved a bunch of ginger candies in my hand one day LMAO)…ofc I think walking around lightly helps too!

- Karasu anon

it’s super super nice out!! i just took a shower and a nap as well as ate something substantial and i’m feeling much better now thankfully as well 😄 the place we’re staying doesn’t have air conditioning but it’s not miserably hot and it gets cold at night so we’re just going to open windows and vibe hehe…luckily everywhere we’re going in france + the two days we’re in italy we’ll have AC because it’s really really hot there according to the weather app 😭

I LOVE KARASU’S FIT he looks so handsome and put together it’s giving me 30s noir film vibes in the best way…tbh the tan >>>> the blue i think the blue is too bright at least in the colored illustrations!! also yes i can totally see him liking dogs he just gives me secret animal lover vibes in general…bruh actually so true where IS otoya?? maybe it’s payback for how majestic and detailed of a shot he got in the trailer compared to 90% of the characters HFKSJSAHFKS

there’s def a difference between being a bully and just saying what needs to be said!! and also too it’s all abt what you choose to say/make fun of if that makes sense LMAO

no every time i write yuki i have to put sm context around it to clarify which one i mean…help but imagine yukimiya and geto meeting through gojo and mrs l/n 😭 atp yukimiya is an honorary pi character so he’s basically in jjk already which means essentially he IS the reason why geto had his downfall 🥱 /j

YESSS i just think that would be the funniest dynamic with barou…like almost a reverse fwtkac karasu and reader?? where barou is legitimately tweaking out over every little thing and reader is just in love with him but he has 0 clue and thinks she’s his arch-nemesis 😫 bro watches the dark knight every time before he goes to her house just to hype himself up meanwhile reader is twiddling her thumbs and kicking her feet waiting for him 🤩 normally i don’t like writing an mc who likes her love interest more than he likes her but truly with barou’s personality this is the best way i can imagine it

rin hiori and niko i feel like he wouldn’t ask because they’re much younger (15/16 compared to karasu and yuki being 18) but omg imagine he convinces barou to go bowling with him and then reader (who can’t bowl) shows up and it’s genuinely barou’s final straw 😓 the real reason he didn’t play in the game against pxg is because snuffy was terrified barou might actually murder karasu JFHSKKS (loki did NOT gaf either way but yk snuffy has to be a #responsibleadult) 😟 pls the thought of yukimiya going apeshit cracks me up too but honestly it’s what he deserves 😔

luckily i’m finally doing better!! i think my mother might’ve brought ginger gum with her so i’ll probably ask her for some for the flight home just in case…thankfully i actually wasn’t terribly nauseous on the plane it was just before and afterwards?? 🤔 idk HAHAHA but at least it’s gone now 😪

[romiantic]

𝐍𝐎𝐓 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆

⇢ ˗ˏˋ 𝒓𝒚𝒐𝒕𝒂 𝒌𝒊𝒔𝒆 𝒙 𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓!𝒃𝒍𝒂𝒄𝒌!𝒇𝒆𝒎!𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 ࿐ྂ

彡 ❛ 𝐚 𝐧𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐚 𝐛𝐞𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 ❜

彡 𝗳𝘁. ryota kise

彡 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: fluff with very little angst

彡 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 2.3k

彡 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: suggestive theme at the end

彡 𝗮𝘂𝘁𝗵𝗼𝗿’𝘀 𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲: all characters are 18+. also can we talk about how BOMB this song is 🤧 y’all sleepin on this song fr

·˚ ༘ੈ✩‧₊˚ ╰┈➤ ❛❛ 𝙄 𝙇𝙊𝙑𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝙒𝘼𝙔 𝙔𝙊𝙐 𝘿𝙊 𝙄𝙏 ❜❜

❝ 𝐘/𝐍 𝐇𝐔𝐑𝐑𝐘 𝐘𝐎 𝐀𝐒𝐒 𝐔𝐏! You have two minutes till showtime.” Your manager, AKA, older brother, barged and announced to you like he didn’t update you almost five minutes ago.

You did your usual of sucking your teeth and rolling your teeth every time he barged in and interrupted your call, you replied with annoyance in your tone, “AJ I know! Can you wait a minute? Damn, so impatient for absolutely no reason.”

“I’m sorry who’s the one with hundreds of thousands of fans screaming their name and waiting for their ass outside? Me or you? Oh okay. Anyways, end yo little call with yo boyfr-”

“He’s not my boyfriend!” You interrupted, becoming irritated with your brother and simply wanted him to shut the fuck up. A great manager and brother, yet way too uptight for his job.

AJ rolled his eyes and muttered something but you flipped him off and pretended not to hear him until he left your dressing room. You gave your attention back to your phone, giving a cheeky smile to the blonde boy on your screen. From the corner of his eye, he noticed a nervous look growing on you but from what you could tell, he was choosing what shirt to wear to his photoshoot. Leaving him to be seen with a no top on and a pair of denim jeans.

Though it was typical to see your best friend’s exposed upper body, it was a sight you never got used to. His well-toned body, results from years of playing basketball in middle and high school, making your face hot, adding on to the nervousness you were already facing from your upcoming performance. Along with the pearly white smile he flashed at you creating a sick feeling in your stomach, something that you made you clench onto it and try to ignore. Now was not the time to be drooling over your best friend, who interrupted your stare with a laugh and said, “Are you gonna keep staring or are you gonna take a picture?”

Of course, he’d ruin it with some cocky line like that, you rolled your eyes and sucked your teeth. “Boy calm down, ain’t nobody wanna was staring.”

“Your nervous face said otherwise.”

“Akekeke, don’t you have a photoshoot to go to?”

Kise replied with the same energy as yours, “And don’t you have a performance to go to?”

You held up a finger to a screen then crossed your arms, “Aht aht, don’t worry about me now. Worry about yo lil pictures with that famous ass Russian model.” You wanted to roll your eyes just thinking about the brought-up woman but it would make it seem like you’re being jealous for no reason.

Kise let out a small laugh, adoring the irritated look that was starting to creep up on your face. “Somebody sounds jealous.”

You rolled your eyes and let out a scoff, “Oh please, like I would be.” You looked at the time on your watch and noticed it was about one minute until your performance. Your eyes widened at the time and hurried, you quickly ended the call with Kise, “Shit, fuck! I gotta go perform but I’ll call you back when I’m done.”

“And I’ll be waiting for you beautiful when you get back.” The golden-eyed boy winked at you yet you cringed and scrunched your face. “You’re so fucking corny Kise.” You hung up the call, grab any other pieces missing from your outfit, and headed out of your dressing room.

You traveled quickly around backstage, passing by many coworkers and background dancers waiting for you, to head into the small tunnel for artists to come out on stage. You stopped at the exit and gulped as you scanned the stage. An outside arena with hundreds of thousands of fans cheering your name, waiting for your appearance.

Usually, you would be at ease with concerts this large but for some reason this time is different. Unknowing the reason nor cause, you started to feel anxious, your hands mildly shaking and your throat going dry.

There was something in the back of your mind attempting to not make you perform, something telling you to not do it, it won’t be good, people will hate you. A voice there to influence thoughts, hoping that you would fall into the trap and just give up on singing. Though of course, you wouldn’t listen to that voice, that voice always lingered around whenever you were brought to perform, no matter where you were.

The only thing to distract you and keep you safe from that tiny voice is someone who you’ve longed to love. One who just settles your nerves, bringing comfort, and removing all anxious thoughts. One who would deem you as one of the greatest artists he’s ever listened to, maybe it’s opinionated but he loves you too much to disagree.

The now dawdling thought of his soft voice whenever he spoke or his flirtatious nature when you two joked around made a familiar feeling grow greater than before. Something replaced the anxiousness that was growing, a feeling that replaced the nervousness and calmed your shaky hands. Something that was the thought of Ryota Kise, he was like the medicine to all the pain you’ve suffered. A remedy to your anxiety, one of the many causes of the cheeky smile social media often sees you with.

Someone who you grew up and spent all your life with, always noticing how protective he was of you or the way he hummed one of your pre-recorded tracks that he was the only one to listen to. Celebrating one of your songs had hit #1 on the Billboard chart and the way he helped out whenever you hit writer’s block.

Every single thing, noticeable or not, made you grown to love the boy, starting from a platonic, playground friendship blooming to many years of trying to figure out if you are romantically in love with him. Growing familiar feelings of butterflies mixed with the thought of just wanting to cup his face and kiss him whenever he was around.

Just the ultimate feeling of wanting to be buried in the blonde boy’s arms and explain the blooming love for him made you want to sing the song you wrote for him. A new single that you never wanted to put out since you wanted only Kise to hear it, including that the song was your way of telling him what you felt all these years.

Though something changed your mind, something in your brain told you to tell everyone around you that you’re singing solo, no backup singers or dancers, only you on that stage. In this performance, you just had to do it yourself, nothing but you, the stage, and the microphone.

Everyone was confused by the last-minute change of plans but went along with it. They rescheduled it to where your first “official” song to start the concert with was right after your solo performance. You gave thanks to your team and took some deep breaths. You made sure your Bluetooth set was on and working properly in your ear, AJ handed you a mic and brushed off any wrinkling from your outfit and any smoothed out your hair. Uptight about his job yet made sure his little sister was looking the greatest for her performances.

You took deep breaths again, shook off any bad nerves, and walked on stage. The already excited crowd enraged and their volume expanded as they saw you stand before them. Everyone waving their signs that said, “I love you y/n!!” or “Y/N is so beautiful!” You waved to the audience and stopped at the middle of the stage, walking closer to the front of the stage as well.

You turned on the mic and tapped it to see if it was working, “Mic check one two, can you guys hear me?” The crowd immediately responded yes, you continued on to talk to them, “Okay good, have been getting technical difficulties with my mic and I really don’t feel like switching mics three times. Anyways, afternoon to all my lovely fans who made it out here or to those that are watching me live. I love you all and thank you for supporting me, I truly am grateful for every single one of y’all.” Everyone screamed out how much they love you and adore you, showing off their merch that they bought and waving the homemade posters.

You smiled at their response and cleared your throat as you introduced the song, “Thank you, I love you too. This first song is one that has been sitting too comfortably in my heart. A piece that came from genuine emotions and feelings I’ve tried to bury yet couldn’t no matter how hard I tried. It’s something that I never planned on dropping but I just felt like the world had to hear what I had to say. Hopefully, you guys enjoy it cause I did when I was writing this song at two in the morning before I snuck into the studio and recorded it. Was it worth it? Definitely. Now I may introduce to you, Not Another Love Song. A contradicting title isn’t it?”

You took a large breath in and out, you took a position as you waited for the beat to drop. As soon as you heard the familiar melody start, you sang, “I don’t wanna mess this up, could it be too much to say I’m in?”

The crowd lowered down and became silent to hear your new single, grasping the beautiful new lyrics you were singing and just vibing along with it.

You yourself were placing emotion as you sang, not noticing how proudly you sang the chorus or how you were smiling at the crowd the entire time. One thing was clouding your mind to even pay attention to those details, the same thing that more than likely pushed you to sing the song.

As you sang, the feelings for your best friend grew stronger, butterflies in your stomach, and the deprivation of his touch grew on you. Not even realizing how much you missed him until you turned initially to smile at AJ and your team yet saw a familiar face appear as well. You questioned it but then turned back to continue singing to the audience, only thinking that mind is playing games with you.

“I'm finna take my time, my mind, my rules. This ain't no crimе makin' love to you, though you ain't say this. But I had a hard time waitin' for you, boy. Like ooh, boy, you, boy. Got me where you want, just gotta say and it's on, it's like, ooh, boy, do you know you got me like where do you go when you're alone?”

As you sang, you noticed the crowd growing silent, their eyes widening, and their jaws dropping. You were utterly confused at was catching their attention, you turned to your team and your brother pointed behind, giving you a goofy smile as well.

You turned around to what was the cause of this silent commotion and right along with everyone else, your jaw drop and your eyes widened. The flirtatious, handsome model that everyone knew of was standing in front of you with a bouquet of roses in his hand. He walked up to you and smiled greatly, closing in the large gap between the both of you.

Seeing him walk closer to you made you want to say forget concert and sing the rest to him. Half of your feeling was already poured out, not even knowing he was listening to all of it. You didn’t think he would even be here since he had a photoshoot, not standing on an outside stage with a bouquet of roses and dressed in casual attire.

He handed you the roses and kissed your forehead, telling you, “Alone with you, away from the world, where else would I be when I’m alone?”

No response came from you, not even a single gasp or a sniffle to signify that you might cry. The way you responded to his presence was something that shocked the arena, everyone watching you on live, your team, and even the two of you yourself. Who would’ve thought you would be bold enough to grab his face and kiss him right then and there? You snaked your arm around his waist and pulled him closer to deepen the kiss. He responded back by wrapping his hands around your shoulders and hugging you tightly, holding onto you to make sure you wouldn’t separate from him.

You pulled back from the kiss and smiled, softly combed his blonde hair, and expressed, “I love you, Kise.” Saying his name like it was something you’ve been aching to say, a name that you’ve buried away yet brought out today. A name that sounded so lovely and romantic when you say it.

Kise expressed as well, “I love you too y/n. I’ve always loved you and I will never stop loving you.” He kissed you again, he removed his hand from your shoulders and trailed around to find your hands. He removed your hands from his waist and instead intertwined them with his.

He felt you smile when he held your hand and smiled back. He stated in between kisses, “You know I’m staying on this stage to hear you finish that song right?”

“It’s fine, I need someone to do my next performance on anyways.” He looked at you and you did nothing but wink and mischievously smiled at him. Kise had a small idea of what he could expect but suppressed it to enjoy the soft moment he wanted between the both of you. A moment that he’ll never forget and a concert that will always be remembered for everyone around you.

彡 it’s like 5 am and I’m tired 🦧 the only thing that kept me up was the fact that I don’t have school plus I loveeeeee kise

彡 also the show olivia

彡 I don’t think I ever mentioned to y’all how much I love his ass but now is definitely not the time ���

彡 I’m convinced if it silent black hair blue eye powerful men weren’t my type, cocky and flirtatious ones would be runner up

彡 anyways hope you guys enjoy + pleaseee listen to the song, I highly recommend plus ella mai is VERY underrated

bye babes, drink your water, stay hydrated, and remember that you are the baddest bitch on the planet 🥰 no matter what ANYONE says

𝐏𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐦 𝟏𝟖:𝟑𝟎 💗

© 𝟤𝟢𝟤𝟣 𝗄𝗈𝗂𝗌𝗁𝗂𝗀𝗎𝗋𝗈. 𝖺𝗅𝗅 𝗋𝗂𝗀𝗁𝗍𝗌 𝗋𝖾𝗌𝖾𝗋𝗏𝖾𝖽

[lemonietrinket]

how dream would react to you getting the hiccups

genre: pure fluff, humour wordcount: 965 warnings: some foul language (1x s**t, 1x f**k) an: just soft fluff that i wrote when really tired oops. sorry for the sudden hiatus of sorts, i am starting to pick up studying again (hangeul & sociology) as well as cleaning the house since it makes them all so salty to trip over stuff all the time but then they never do anything about it. basically its going to take me a while to hit that balance between work & writing again so please bear with me gender neutral reader

~ all members below the cut ~

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

mark

his immediate reaction would be to laugh at you

you would hiccup in between your words, and he would pause, stare at you with those puppy eyes and just 

“dude/babe was that a hiccup?!”

and then boom hes doing that contagious giggle he always does

especially if your hiccups aren’t the dainty little hic that the media portrays 

it’ll only get worse if you end up laughing with him bc how could you not or try to continue talking, only to be interrupted by your own hiccups

if they don’t go away quickly then he will likely offer you some water

but if you hiccup again while accepting it to the point that a small bit spills hes just going to laugh again

i’m sorry

he means well!

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

renjun

he is much more sensible than mark

and yet still would find himself instantly chuckling at how your hiccup sent you stuttering

however he’ll stifle it as best he can, maybe covering his mouth as he does

immediately offers to get you a drink if one isn’t already at hand

if you’re dating he’ll give you his without a thought

if it doesn’t work he may just google what will help, finding a spoonful of sugar as a remedy, and will drag your ass into the kitchen if you refuse

will spoon feed you if your hiccups are getting more annoying than endearing and you don’t want to take the sugar

idk why you wouldnt but then again my sweet-tooth is insane

if you stop him before he finds that page, or if your hiccup doesn’t sound like you’re suffocating then he will try to power on through with you

then i think he would just treat as normal after a bit tbh he’s not as giggly with it 

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

jeno

cue the samoyed smile!

ok but fr if you’re dating he’ll find it cute ok

may squish your cheeks if you let him

otherwise

yeah he’s going to zone out while you talk a bit, just listening for the hiccup and then the slight embarrassment that follows

you’re cute when you’re shy and slightly frustrated 

if you want to get rid of them tho and ask for some water then he’ll give you his drink if you’re dating or will straight up buy you one if you’re not bc he’s a good friend :))

where can i get a jeno 

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

haechan

“it’s just disgusting how they think they can get away with that stuff all over again, the sick fu-IC-cks...”

oh boy he is going to tease you 

it’s a funny noise and the way it interrupted your rant mid curse word and just ruined all the passion you spoke with is just

it’s hilarious, tbh

i’m not saying he’ll impersonate the sound but he’ll give a good play of cuckoo bird, echoing your humiliating defeat

might coo a little bit too if you’re dating

“awww, have you got the wittle hiccupss yniee?! awww poor wittle—hey!”

steal his drink or his sweets to help and get your own back

trust me, he deserves it

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

jaemin

is going to laugh at you 

but is going to find it endearing 

and unlike mark will help

will laugh straight out loud bc the hiccup was hardly dainty, and then immediately apologise and ask if you’re ok

that big charismatic smile is still very much on his lips tho throughout

will chuck his drink over if you’re dating or not

but will listen more intently if you’re dating, his smile brightening every time you hiccup and the blush/pout deepens as you continue to talk

“jaeminnn stop!”

“what! i’m not doing anything!”

“you’re laughing at me!”

“am not!”

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

chenle

finds it strangely cute, how shy you get

and so will smile and giggle quite loudly and ask if you want some water

if you choose to power on through you’ll just find his grin blinding and him laughing every time you hiccup

if you accept the water and whine when it doesn’t work he’ll look up what will help, leading him to get sweets for you

best friends or dating he will steal that shit for you he doesn’t care

and anyway maybe the tension of breaking into his manager’s room will scare them out of you

he’s a good friend

and will attempt the scare tactic on you once, in probably a really obvious and ineffective way

but it’s cute so who cares

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

jisung

a sweetheart

will immediately stifle his laughter as best he can but won’t make much of an effort to help 

until it dawns on him that scaring may work

i feel he has a devious streak, especially if you’re really close, so even when you show disdain that it won’t work

he will take it upon himself to make you jump for as long as it takes for the hiccups to go away

and if they last all day then

i’m so sorry boo

he’s adorable though, even if he is predictable

and on the off chance he does succeed in making you jump he will listen intently, even shushing you, to hear if the hiccups continue

and just by his luck that’ll be when they decide to stop and then you’re going to have a mildly smug best friend/boyfriend for the rest of the day

and boy he won’t let you forget it, in his own quieter way

“see? i saved you,” he would murmur, bumping your arm or putting an arm carefully round your waist

᠃ ⚘᠂ ⚘ ˚ ⚘ ᠂ ⚘ ᠃

~~~

an: woop there it is. i hope these arent too samey :(( i also wanted to write it as if for both romantic and platonic scenarios since there’s not enough platonic stuff on here and bc this is quite a general topic

masterlist

~ pls dont forget to offer comments on my work! they mean the world to me and really motivate me to work more :)) tysm! ~

[gen-is-shifting]

nonsensical 5am rambling about a character under the cut, I’m sparing y’all from having to read this. Feel free to ignore I’m just getting stuff out.

I hate how badly Lemres was infantilized after 7. It is so genuinely horrific. Atrocious, fr. He’s one of my favorite characters of all time and I can barely stand him in Quest. That’s gotta be impressive. They took all his depth and threw it out the window so bad that it was literally unrecoverable in PPT2 (not that I dislike PPT2′s interpretation of him in fact it’s my favorite iteration, it just hurts that the consistency is so lacking).  Like holy shit how do you go from  “Child prodigy mage who’s kindhearted if not a tad eccentric and holds a lot of secrets. He bears the trauma of a rough childhood but has processed it enough to lead a healthy life and dedicates his time and effort to make sure others are content with their lives too. Despite his maturity though, he’s still a student and makes mistakes. He’s dealing with his own issues still, managing the stress of being so widely popular and two of his close friends constantly fighting. He also has a bit of a sweet tooth and likes making his own sweets.” to “Lol qwirky candy addict” You fucking destroyed him dude. PPT1 at least brought back his laid-back nature instead of having him be... weirdly, annoyingly overbearing, but I also credit that to Ben Diskin’s voicework.

But I have to say, I’m beyond relieved that PPT2 remedied this. When I tell you I was ECSTATIC to see he was more serious, hell, even ANXIOUS in this game, I mean it. They really hit home. There are so many scenes I could point out in this game that make me so incredibly happy, just because we get to see the true, characterized Lemres again. From his little sidestory showing his personal struggle with marle and intense concern for his friends (housing the wonderful “You know you don’t have to do this alone, right?” quote from Ecolo that hit a little too hard) to the tiny little practice segment where he expresses that he honestly has no idea how to deal with being put on such a high pedestal by people he considers himself close to. I cannot sing enough praises about his characterization in this game. The way he’s written radiates a familiar feeling of “I’m trying my best here, but I really don’t know what to do. I’m one person in a huge world, and I’m just as feeble as everyone else no matter how many people look up to me.” And that’s something that honestly resonates. It’s wonderful to see him be anything other than JUST a sugar-obsessed maniac. It’s wonderful to see him be a person again. His love for candy is part of his identity, but it isn’t all that’s there, and I’m glad they finally realized that after.... what, a decade?

[outofcontexturi]

tuesday 11th October 2022 journal

today has been a good day. im in a better mood than i was yesterday. I feel good man. the moon looks so beautiful tonight too! it looked gorgeous yesterday but today its even more special because its in taurus rn and its a full moon and taurus is my moon sign so ykwtfigo! you guessed it nigga im high. great high btw. i also need to get something to eat. gonna have that plantain and spinach stew again me thinks. save money. it’s currently 20:00pm and im listening to Remedy by Cherise again. life has been so kind to me today and the last few weeks/months. im so fucking grateful that im being heard by the universe and shit. thank you God fr. I love you. People from my past have contacted me. Two Sagittarius women. both quite similar in few ways but still similar. Juliet and Eunique. never thought id put those two names together but surprise from the cosmic whatever, God, universe, idk nigga but like damn. And i checked my astrological compatibility of Juliet and I and we are very compatible. its like i was meant to meet her in this lifetime or something idk. cause i’ve deffo said that i feel like she’s gonna be in my life for a while for some reason and even though i dont really want to speak to her like that its just interesting that there’s a weird attraction we seem to gravitate towards each other during long periods away. i’ve only known her 2 years. its weird though man. I had a conversation with her today for the first time in months. im only just deeping that omg. i genuinely dont remember the last time i spoke to her so it was weird doing it today in a way. its also cosmic convenience that happened to be listening to me on my way home as i saw Naia i said to myself “wouldn’t it be funny if i see Juliet” as i exit the doors and walk to the exit WHO DO I FUCKING SEE? Juliet and Jacob lmaoooooooo like what are the chances??? i could’ve seen anyone but I saw the person i thought about hahah thats weird man. But anyways i had a nice little catch up with her about agencies, how she wont be doing theatre unless she’s getting paid properly, and how she spent some of her summer as well as how rehearsals are going for her(and jacob) at the moment. they said it was very physically demanding and that they were meant to have a tech rehearsal yesterday but they’re doing it today. there seemed to be alot of fatigue in the space from both Juliet and Jacob. Chloe came to give Jacob a form to fill out to do with allergies or some shit like that. Juliet told me about how she was in Rhode Island over the summer and how she flooded a hotel there lmao. apparently the fine was $9.000 or some shit like that. It’s just so weird that we’re talking like nothing between us has happened and that she ghosted me for months and then randomly yesterday sent me a tick tok? and cause i have her archived in my whatsapp i saw a notification in there and was thinking who’s this? and saw it was her and saw a tik tok on the message and thought huh??? why?? whats going on here?? anyways i ended up replying to her and then i decided to do a birth chart compatibility and we probably knew each other from another lifetime because we’re quite drawn to each other for some weird reason. i dont know why and i kinda wanna know why.  Role Model by Brent Faiyaz has been my song of the day. Danny Lee also left today. i dont know where i’d be without him man. God bless him! i need to be more considerate of Honey and i plan on doing that. I need to listen to her when she talks about herself to me. i love her. we’re doing tech tomorrow. this rehearsal process is coming to an end. i cant believe it. well i can but like its been 4 weeks or something like that like damn! i didnt think i’d be the version of who i am now when i started lamda let alone third year. proud of myself man. this thought is proudly brought to you by time 20:46pm. dont miss out. nah come on tell me that wasn’t a good little slogan for time. come on man. i gonna add that to the rambles. right now. im gonna sign off here. i’ll talk to you soon. Sign out time: 21:10pm.

[charlottegracetaylor]

Best Friends Forever Ch. 1

A Bellarke slow burn. I haven’t dabbled in fanfiction for about a decade, so this may be a little rough.

{Chapter 1} {Chapter 2} {Chapter 3}  {Chapter 4} || {read on ffn} {read on ao3}

Gatorade.

Bellamy stared at the text message that interrupted his reverie. Every day during his lunch break, he hid away in his office to do some recreational reading. In a way it was cathartic. Teaching mythology to a bunch of uninterested college kids day in and day out really took a toll on him; aside from the fact that most of those students only took his class to fill their credits, he knew he didn’t have their respect. Having graduated only six months ago, his students were at most only 6 years younger than him and consequently regarded him more as a peer than as a professor. The number of young ladies knocking on his office door to ask for extra tutoring with insinuative winks and flirtatious giggles far outweighed the number of students who sought him out for real help.

Gatorade and saltines.

Gatorade and saltines and Coke.

Two more buzzes and he closed his book with a sigh. He picked his phone up and read the newest messages. A grocery list from his sister. He rolled his eyes to the ceiling and snorted a silent chuckle.

I told you you’d get sick. Should’ve worn your coat like I told you. It’s JANUARY, O.

Octavia was a grown woman, but he would always be her big brother and she would always be his responsibility. Their father walked out on them when they were too young to remember, and their mother worked her ass off to give them the best life she possibly could. But when Octavia was thirteen, their mother was diagnosed with advanced ovarian cancer. Bellamy started working at the library in the evenings and on weekends; when he graduated high school five months later, he got a promotion and a full-time position. After their mother died and a social worker tried to put Octavia into foster care, Bellamy took matters into his own hands. He met with an attorney, picked up a second job, and spent an entire weekend making repairs to both the inside and the outside of their house. The judge granted him custody, and he was able to take Octavia home. He was the only male figure in her life, as their mother chose to focus all of her energy and attention on them rather than dating, and so in a way he had always had a hand in raising her.

I’M not sick, jackass. Clarke is. If you’d rather come hold her hair back while she pukes, be my guest, and I’ll run to Walgreens.

But it wasn’t just the two of them. Octavia’s best friend Clarke had become a part of their family many years ago. The two girls had been friends since they met at a skating rink when they were ten years old. Clarke’s mother had gotten hired as a surgeon at the county hospital, so she and her fiancé, Marcus, packed everything up and moved across the state to start their new lives as a family. Octavia had skated right over to Clarke, who’d been standing alone in the corner, and pulled her by her hand out onto the rink. They skated together all evening, and by the time Bellamy told Octavia to change back into her sneakers to go home, the girls had become best friends.

Over the years, Clarke and Octavia became inseparable. Playdates turned into sleepovers. Sleepovers gradually lengthened from one night, to two, to eventually a week or two at a time over summer vacation. They were together for the good, the bad, and the ugly. And by default, Bellamy was also there. The older the girls got, the closer three of them became. The day Clarke turned 18, she threw all of her belongings into the bed of her old pickup and moved into the Blake residence. She and her mother hadn’t seen eye-to-eye for years, and naturally the Blakes, her chosen family offered to take her in.

Shit. Is she okay? Is it the flu? Has she checked her temperature? I’ll get something for a fever just in case. Better safe than sorry.

Relax, big bro. I have things under control here. Clarke’s in good hands.

Octavia, just last week I heard you suggest that Jasper treat a head cold with Dulcolax.

That boy has always been full of shit.

Bellamy chuckled and slipped his phone into his pocket. Hearing students start to file into his classroom, he grabbed his lecture notes and headed out of his office for his last class of the day.

***

“Gatorade. Saltines. Coke. Gatorade. Saltines. Coke.” Bellamy mumbled Octavia’s list to himself as he walked through the store, and added a “check” into the list as he dropped each item into his basket. Halfway to the cash register, a sign by the pharmacy pronouncing that it wasn’t too late to get a flu shot reminded him that he wanted to grab something for Clarke’s potential fever.

“Too many options,” he grumbled under his breath as he stared at an entire wall of cold and flu medications. A hundred different pills, liquids, teas, powders, and creams stared back at him. Fifteen minutes of reading packages and an internal debate about trying to get Clarke’s advice later, Bellamy finally decided on a box of Tylenol Cold + Flu and some Theraflu tea. He also decided that once Clarke was better, she would be selecting a variety of over-the-counter medications to keep at the house for the next time one of them got sick. After all, she was the pre-med student.

***

“O,” he called as he gently kicked the door shut behind him. One hand hung his keys on the hook by the door while the other hand deftly dropped his laptop bag onto the floor but kept the Walgreen’s bag looped over two fingers.

“Shh!” Octavia came scurrying around the corner with a finger to her lips. “She’s asleep. Poor girl’s been sick as hell all day. She skipped class this morning.”

That rang a note of concern in Bellamy. Clarke hadn’t missed any school since the day he met her. Though if his face showed any worry, Octavia didn’t notice. She was slipping her coat on and reaching for her purse on the entry table. “You’re leaving?”

“Yeah,” she said distractedly, digging through her purse to find her car keys. “Lincoln’s making me dinner, but I’ll be back after to help take care of Clarke so you can get some work done.”

He wrapped an arm around her shoulders in a half hug and told her to drive safe before she pulled the door shut behind her with a soft click. He kicked off his shoes and padded into the kitchen, grateful that his socks silenced the usual slapping sound of his feet hitting the tile floor. The bag rustled loudly in the silence of the house. He poured some of the Coke into a glass and left it sit on the counter to go flat.

***

Just over an hour later he glanced up at Clarke from his spot on the recliner, a finger holding his place in his book and his glasses perched on his nose. She was starting to stir. Her eyelids fluttered open and immediately the harsh lamplight assaulted her senses, causing her to groan and snap her eyes shut again.

“Sorry,” Bellamy whispered as he leaned over to flick off the lamp. He stood up slowly, being careful to minimize the creaking from the old recliner. His book fell between the armrest and the cushion, the page he was on completely forgotten. Walking around the coffee table, he leaned down and felt Clarke’s forehead with the back of his hand. “Definitely a fever,” he muttered. “Headache. Body aches too, I’m guessing?”

Clarke grunted in response and threw her arm over her eyes. The only light in the room came from the setting sun peeking through the blinds, but it was still too much for her tired eyes. She heard Bellamy’s soft footsteps retreating into the kitchen. Though she knew he was doing his best to keep quiet, the whisper of his jeans brushing against the kitchen floor sent an irritating pain through her ear and straight to the knot behind her eye.

“Take these,” Bellamy whispered. She peeked through one eye to see her best friend had returned. He was holding a glass of water in one hand and offering her two small yellow caplets in the other.

“Thanks,” she whispered, then tossed back the pills and chased them down with the water. She felt him lift her feet and slide down onto the end of the couch. “Miserable, Bell,” she whispered moments before sleep claimed her again.

“I know, princess,” he whispered back with a sigh. He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and threw it over them, her ankles crossed and resting in his lap. He leaned his head back and watched her sleep for a few minutes before sleep claimed him as well.

***

He woke to a kick in his stomach as Clarke wrenched herself into a sitting position. Her head was nearly between her knees as she vomited into the trash can Octavia had grabbed from the bathroom and left beside the couch. Within seconds, Bellamy had pulled her hair away from her face and started rubbing soothing circles on her back.

When the dry heaves and post-vomit body spasms subsided, Bellamy leaned back into his corner so Clarke could lay down again. “Feeling any better?”

“Headache’s gone.” Her voice was raspy, but she was glad the sensitivity to light and sound was no longer a problem. “Just wish my stomach would settle now.”

“I may be able to help with that.” He stood slowly and gently laid her feet on the couch. He crossed into the kitchen with long, purposeful strides. “Flat Coke always works,” he called over his shoulder.

Clarke sat up and took a couple deep breaths, hoping the movement wouldn’t bring on another bout of vomiting. “Old wives’ tale.”

“I’d say homeopathic remedy. Old wives’ tales typically don’t have any truth to them. Flat Coke always works.” She took the glass from his hand and made a show of taking tiny sips, before he felt the need to remind her that ‘it only works when you sip it.’

Clark snorted and rolled her eyes. “There’s nothing homeopathic about Coke, Bellamy. And anyway, flat Coke is like a placebo. It’s purely psychological.”

“Then I’ll just take that glass back and you can wait for your immune system to do the job itself.” He reached out for the glass with no real intention of taking it from her, but she swatted his hand away just the same with a murderous glare in her eyes.

“You wanna die today, Blake?”

Bellamy chuckled and leaned back into his corner of the couch. “Get over here, Griffin. We should have enough time to watch an episode of How the Universe Works before O gets home.” He stretched his arm over the back of the couch and reached for the remote on the end table while Clarke snuggled into his side. She rested her head on his shoulder and pulled the blanket over both of them.

It was one of their favorite shows, but even it was no match for Clarke’s flu. The voices coming from the TV combined with the Tylenol that was still in her system lulled her to sleep before the first commercial break. Bellamy tilted his head to the side and peered down at his best friend. He wished there was more he could do to make her feel better. He always prided himself on how well he took care of his girls, but unfortunately the flu was just one of those things he couldn’t protect them from.

Clarke twisted a little in her sleep, subconsciously moving closer to Bellamy, and Bellamy’s body automatically twisted to accommodate her without his mind even registering it. He pulled the blanket up over her shoulder and gently laid his cheek against the top of her head.

***

Octavia expected Clarke to still be asleep when she got home. She tiptoed through the entryway and peeked into the kitchen. She had expected Bellamy to be cleaning up from dinner, but she saw neither a dirty dish nor her brother. Walking past the living room to creep down the hallway and check their bedrooms, a mop of black curls on top of the couch caught the corner of her eye.

She was not surprised to see her brother and her best friend sleeping together with a forgotten docuseries droning on the TV. This was a regular occurrence in the Blake household. She wasn’t even surprised to see them cuddling under the blanket Grandma Blake had made for Bellamy’s tenth birthday.

Back in the kitchen, she scribbled staying at Lincoln’s tonight, pizza tomorrow on me xo O on a sticky note before tiptoeing back out the front door and locking it behind her.

[bahamuut-fr]

Libitina - Chapter 4: Berkut (2)

pinglist: @fr-blackiebelle @black-market-sornieth

A terrible dragon leading a terrible rule in a terrible wasteland; what a perfect description for Libitina under Berkut. In the very beginning of his rule, the territory was scoured by the best hunters. Within just a few weeks, prey was incredibly scare. The greatest issue with this plan was that the Clan could only eat so much. All the leftover food rotted and became inedible in just a few more weeks. The dragons of Libitina had to subside on rotting food and plants for months, waiting for prey to repopulate.

Many died during this time, either from pure starvation or sickness. Seeing it as “weeding out the thin bloods,” Berkut paid no mind to the staggering body count. Even as Sabrina fell to the illness, he remained stoic and completely unfeeling. It was at this time that Neset, a young Coatl who had joined during Jodo’s rule, told Berkut she desired an audience with him. Despite his frustration at being asked yet again about the food situation, he was taken with her manner of speaking and found her question to be less irritating than others. Unsure of what the hell this feeling that he felt for her was, he knew he just wanted to spend more time with her.

“Neset, may I speak with you?”

“Mm? Oh, milord, yes!” She’d been so apprehensive about speaking to him before; he was glad to see her so warmed up. The two went for a walk, and Berkut panicked when he realized he never came up with a topic about which to talk.

“So, milord,” Neset began. Shit. “You mentioned wanting to talk about something.”

“Yes,” he replied, rather quickly, racking his brain. “I wan-”

All thought derailed as something slammed into Berkut, and hard. Rolling awkwardly, he rushed to his feet...to see Jodo. The husk of a dragon had various dark patches where scars ought to be; he obviously hadn’t healed well. How was he still alive!?

“You’re going to pay,” the gangrenous Ridgeback snarled. “You took everything.”

“I took it from someone who didn’t deserve it. Be grateful I let you live; what a mistake.”

“Tough words from a coward!”

“I know you are, but what am I?”

Jodo, enraged, leapt at Berkut, but the Skydancer hopped back into the air just in time. Remaining airborne, he tried to bite at the Ridgeback, but was got a face full of tail spines. Berkut crashed to the ground, a deep gash on his chin starting to bleed.

“Berkut, watch out!”

Neset’s cry allowed him to roll out of the way just in time to miss Jodo’s second charge. Rising to his feet, he took off, remaining at a safe distance. Angered at his original target being out of reach, Jodo turned to Neset and hissed. Furious, Berkut hissed back. Before Jodo could even think about making a move, Berkut shot towards him, picking the former king up into the air. Floundering and trying to flap his own wings, the Skydancer searched for a way to immobilize Jodo. He found it.

Using power behind all four legs, Berkut dug his claws into Jodo’s back and threw him at a tree. The sheer force of the throw combined with the Ridgeback’s weight caused the tree to fall onto the former king. While he succeeded in throwing the tree off of him, he was entangled in vines and trying to escape.

“Neset,” Berkut hissed. “Run. I can handle this.”

“But wh-”

“If I get overpowered, there’s nothing you could do about it anyway. It’s okay,” he whispered, looking right at her. “I’ll be fine.” As she nodded and flew away, he regretted not telling her how he felt...he’d be fine. He could tell her later. Jodo had escaped the vine trap, and was angrier than ever.

“Still hungry for more?” Berkut barked. He was met with a silent charge, but dodged quickly. In immediate retaliation, he leapt to Jodo’s neck, biting down hard. As he was being tossed around, the king kept his teeth firmly between the scales lining the base of the Ridgeback’s neck. Eventually, the thrashing became too much, and Berkut fell off, teeth dragging a line across Jodo’s clavicle.

“This means nothing! I am still king!” Berkut advanced towards Jodo, hissing.

“Do you want to go for another round, Jodo? You’ve lost twice, going for a third?”

Dead silence. The two males stared at each other, panting. Jodo spread his wings, and Berkut got ready to attack. The former king only took off and fled.

“The exact same will happen if you dare to return!” Berkut screeched.

“Berkut?” Startled by the sudden voice, his head whipped around to reveal Neset. “I am so sorry, I-I did not mean to-!”

“At ease, Neset,” he cooed. “Just Berkut is fine.”

“Right, Berkut...I am so sorry, I just did not want to leave you.” He sighed, turning around to face her.

“I only dismissed you because I feared you would be hurt,” he half-muttered, half-laughed. “I’m very glad to see that you’re okay.”

“Mi-Berkut! Berkut, I am sorry, but why did you care?” He stared into her eyes, flicking his tail awkwardly.

“Well, despite my best efforts, I seem to have fallen victim to mortal feelings. I’ve truly never found any emotion similar to what I feel for you, but I’m willing to say that it’s whatever love is.”

Neset looked extremely confused. Was it his wording? Was it...was it that she didn’t think she was good enough for him?

“I am sorry, Berkut, but I...I am not sure I understand,” she laughed. “I am nothing special, really and truly. I mean, I feel the same about you, but--”

Berkut’s heart soared. “Perfect,” he cooed. “As your king, I command you to stop believing that you aren’t special. As your mate, I ask you to accept me for who I am.” She looked at him again with that damn confused stare.

“Yes…” she muttered after what felt like ages. “Yes to both. I love you, Berkut,” she whispered. He grinned in response, laughing slightly.

“What a day this has been. A brutal fight to defend my title as king, followed by love declarations.”

Berkut very shortly found out about Neset’s alchemy hobbies and goal of creating life, finding it unrealistic yet charming. The two bore three hatchlings, Rory, Jasper, and Kyrin; unfortunately illness struck the Clan, claiming the lives of Rory and Jasper.

“Berkut,” Neset sobbed. “Berkut, I went to the nursery to check on them and--and--”

“Neset. Relax and tell me what happened,” he responded firmly.

“I could only see Kyrin playing, and I should have known right then…”

“Neset.”

“Rory and Jasper...Rory and Jasper are gone, Berkut!” she choked out, nearly shaking. “They’re both gone...my babies…”

“Don’t worry about them,” Berkut replied. “They’re...somewhere, I assure you.”

She pressed herself against his chest, sniffling. “What if they don’t know I love them?”

He paused, unsure of how to reply to such a strange question. “I’m sure they do,” he warily muttered, nuzzling the top of her head. “I’m sure they know just how much you love them.” When Neset dug her head deeper into his chest, he went silent. “Kyrin is okay, correct?”

“Yes, thank the powers that be,” she whispered.

Berkut cared little for the dead, only for those that were living--those that he could still manipulate. As Kyrin grew, he would constantly pester his son, asking if he wanted to follow in his footsteps. Kyrin, much to Berkut’s chagrin, always denied, stating that he wanted to pursue a career in medicine after seeing his siblings die of sickness.

Neset loved that her son was interested in medicine, and set him up with books on herbal remedies and all kinds of wound-treating instructions. The immense focus on healing caused the young Coatl to fall out of love with the practice, but he continued anyway, not wanting to break his dear mother’s heart.

As Kyrin became the Clan’s designated doctor, Berkut half-lamented half-seethed at not having an heir. One day, after Neset returned from talking to their...disappointment, Berkut confronted her.

“We need to try again.”

“Wh...I’m sorry, my lord, what?”

[punkscowardschampions]

Ali & Carly

Ali: How's the damage looking in the cold light of day, babe? Ali: Want me to put a hex on her? Carly: yea Carly: didnt remember her going hard but feel it now Ali: 😤 Why'd she have to turn up just to pull up Ali: Got actual issues that one, like Ali: I'll work on something particularly wicked whilst we waiting for karma to smack her one Ali: is you okay boo? Carly: dont need to eye her bf i kno hes not special Carly: fucked some of his mates but not him Carly: you kno made the hanging feel more drastic Ali: Right? Even she don't reckon him that Ali: Just herself, like 🙄 Ali: I'll make you a remedy whilst I'm at it, like Carly: youre too cute to handle this early Ali: Well, lost major points not defending your honour from the ginja ninja last night so Ali: gotta claw it back, ain't I Carly: cant fuck you if youre in prison Ali: Truuuu, ain't my prison wife, this the real deal Ali: did you spot any talent tho? before she tried to claw ur eyes out Carly: nah Carly: you? Ali: caleb cavante was there Ali: he's so fine Ali: but so was his gf so meh, appreciated the view but no more than that Ali: too busy dancing w my main lady of course 😍 Carly: who was he w other than his bf Carly: in love as hard as we Ali: Ain't that the truth 😂 Ali: only got eyes for each other boys, don't front Ali: cute Carly: hes got eyes for me too Carly: 4some? Ali: Yeah? Nice Ali: Not even jealous, get you some wifey Ali: bit of a knob but not as bad as some Ali: I think they're like brothers tho babe??? awks 😂 Ali: otherwise, hell yeah Carly: my bad Carly: spoke to your gf today? Ali: Not yet Ali: She's sulking still Carly: if she wants to take a swing she knows where i am Ali: 😬 your beautiful face, noooooo Ali: she only mad at me anyway, catch us in prison, can't escape each other then, like 😏 Carly joined the chat 2 hours ago Carly: only working to get you to kiss it better tho Carly: could be her way of dumping you w out doing it Carly: sorry Ali: ha, good luck, honey Ali: don't she know I stick like glue? Ali: I'll roll up with all the arrogance of a bitch who's man ain't shit, like Carly: ill let her kno how loyal you are Carly: too bad its only to me like Ali: 🙊 Ali: don't, confirming her argument lowkey Carly: sorry Carly: anything i can do for real Ali: nah 💋 Ali: its sweet, i just gotta stop hiding and tell her how it is Ali: but i'm hiding 'til my head feels better, facts babe Carly: ill whisper Carly: fun tho Carly: w the assault & everything Ali: yeah, what's a decent party without a scrap Ali: tho if my boo gotta be involved imma haffta teach you a few moves, yeah? Carly: im not trying to kiss her while she kills me bitch Carly: whats a sweet girl like you gonna tell me Ali: i know, i'm a lover not a fighter by nature but i'm tough as fuck Ali: trust 🥊 Ali: show you when ur feeling better tho Carly: yea? Carly: aw you gonna protect me Carly: my da will be thrilled Ali: 'Course Ali: let him know just 'cos there's no bloke, can still fuck up the competition and co Carly: we could be renewing our vows at the kitchen table and he wouldnt know it was going on Carly: hes that bloke behind a fucking big newspaper who nods Carly: my ma's the mouth Ali: You're dead good with words Ali: fully got the picture there, like a film or some shit Carly: my life inspoing hollywood, bitch Carly: facts Ali: fr tho Ali: leading lady material defs Carly: you just want that roll credits kiss Carly: come get it any time Ali: only if there's an audience, yeah Carly: aw Carly: you want me all to yourself babe Ali: 🖕 Ali: lose any queer cred I've got if I fuck a straight girl purely for male gaze Ali: hmu when ur feeling it babe 😉 Carly: im always feeling you Carly: honeymoon period not over Ali: 😳😌 Ali: when ur living the bit so hard you can't tell where it ends no more Carly: you want me you got me Carly: thats how it go when you put a ring on it Ali: okay Ali: imma rock ur world then Carly: yea? Carly: good confidence babe Ali: deserved 💪 Carly: ill let you kno if i agree after you hit it Ali: go for it Ali: love ur brutal honesty and I've not got a fuckboy fragile ego like u used to Carly: yea true Carly: whats that like Carly: weird Ali: highly recommend Ali: love knowing what i'm worth 💎 Carly: gotta recommend being treated as a skank Ali: like all the time or in the bedroom 🤔 Carly: interchangeable when you're dtf constant Ali: Oh, babe Ali: you're a princess too tho, you can be both Carly: never been this complimented Ali: You gotta be knowing Ali: all about the balance Carly: aw Carly: what you doing today Ali: Gotta take my lil bro to the park or some shit Ali: he's already driving the 'rents mental Ali: come with? might get u both a 🍦 if you behave Carly: you want me round your littlest bro serious ? Ali: you won't sound so shocked when you meet him Ali: little 💩 Ali: but a laugh, you'll like him Carly: i been in a bitch fight & look it Carly: thinking of him Ali: Fair, if you wanna hide behind your biggest sunnies today and chill, I don't blame ya Ali: he'll think its cool tho, swap war stories with him Carly: im down to come Carly: just making sure you want it Ali: You wanna hear me say your my fave again? Ali: cute 💋 Carly: you kno Ali: swing by when i can convince him to put some clothes on Ali: feeling like a hypocrite lowkey Carly: k Carly: catch me outside trying to clear my head Carly: low key your fault for that image Ali: 😏 i'll take it even though i know its all about last night Ali: get ready to swoon tho 'cos its way too hot for normal clothes, but I do insist on at least partially covering our junk, lil rock Carly: 😍 Ali: you'll be proud, whored it up on my story and everything Carly: I saw and I was Ali: Mission accomplished then yo Carly: your hair is cute Carly: cute isnt the word for that yoga outfit tho Ali: 😘 aww, thanks babe! i was feeling it Ali: you gon' take me up on my yoga offer now? 😉 Ali: show u how flexible i am Carly: might do Carly: not just chat Carly: impressive wouldnt it be Ali: 👏 Ali: never doubted you, babe Carly: catch me in a baby class until i catch up Ali: nah, ask anyone, I'm a great teacher gurl! Ali: and you can be my pet 😻 Carly: aw Carly: you're getting so creative w these dates too Ali: gotta keep it fresh Carly: 💋

[xlynneeax-blog]

July 2nd 9:54pm

No this isn't my normal writings where everything rhythms. This is me just talking for whoever comes across this. I think everyone is tired of hearing about what's going through my mind, or seeing the lines I write so hear I am just venting. I'm laying on the back of my moms car looking up at the sky, and I can't help but wonder if she's looking up at sky thinking about me. I can't help but wonder if we're looking at the same sky or star. I don't know why her middle name is running in circles through my head right now. Sarai. Beautiful right? I have this image of her in my head. I'll tell you about it. One day we were walking inside Walmart to get my niece playdoh. She had on her Army sweat pants, nikes and a black shirt. Her hair was down. No makeup. The sun was blooming. I kept telling her about how beautiful she looked. like truly, I was swept away by the significance of her beauty. The name Sarai fit her so perfect at that moment. a beautiful name for a beautiful girl, right? Lol, she thinks I'm so mad at her and I should be with everything that's gone on. But I love her. I wish I could relive every single day we spent together, 90 days. I'd give anything to go back, even if I knew then what I know now, id do it all over again, for forever. Because I love her. I've been having a rough couple of days with life. Anyone that knows me knows that even if shit hurts, and no matter how bad it hurt; I was okay with feeling. Because I knew it was the only way to process shit and I knew it was a human thing yunno? but for the past 3 weeks I've been shutting everything out and well, it's fucking catching up to me. I'm so sad it's insane. I don't think I've ever been this sad and down. Nothing in my life makes sense, NOTHING at all and I'm just sitting here confused yunno? Like why me? When does it get better? when will she love me again? Both of our mothers birthdays are coming up on the same day, is that a sign? Hahaha. I know she'll be thinking about me during that entire day. I've been wondering if she's gonna tell my mom happy birthday, shit she didn't even tell me happy birthday lmao it's okay tho I forgive her. It's been almost 3 months. Last time it was 4, I was decent then. I was sad but I was decent yunno? But boy this time. I feel like my organs are slowly and painfully slowing down and I just want it to end already. I think she's my only remedy. I talked to her last night and we called each other by our last names... lol. She knows man she knows 🙄. About the life thing, shit has been going DOWN with my life. I live with my dad now. It's a little better but living with him is almost as hard. I feel like both of my parents hate me, well mainly my dad. He makes me feel like everything is my fault and like I'm always wrong. but I hate my mom. and the only person I vented to was Sarai but??? Well, you know how it goes. She got me and my family like NOBODY ELSE DUDE!!!!! Like fr. I've vented to one person, one time about my current family issues and all they could say is "damn... I bet your mom wants to quit doing all those drugs" like no shit. so I don't vent anymore. And yeah it's more than one drug lmfao. Meth, date rape drug, ecstasy and xanax. Y'all it's been 10 years my mama ain't never gonna stop. I told my mom she can't come to my graduation, or anything to do with my future if she isn't clean. I avoid seeing her at all cost. I need to escape. I think about all the plans her and I had for this summer and I get so mad because I was fr looking forward to those plans. I wish her and I could just leave our phones here or go mia for a few days and just go on a trip, just be together, have fun and talk. I'd give anything to sit and see her face, her fucking beautiful dark, big brown eyes, chubby cheeks, long hair and hear that obnoxious laugh. I'd take a bullet for that girl any day and everyone knows how afraid I am of even talking about death lol. Y'all I saw her at Rudman and FLIPPED MY SHIT!!!! I was in the driver seat and tried to put it in reverse and my dumb ass flew it into drive and almost crashed. My sister and friend honked at her yall I was CRYING, like legit. I cry about almost everything lmfao. I also saw her at my dads Friday night.. bruh. I swear she only gets even more beautiful. I noticed her hair and cute little ripped jeans and vans. she didn't even look me in the eyes but if I could've froze time and looked at her for a second longer I would've. She never stops looking beautiful. I still think she's magnificent. No matter what. Even with everything I know. She's fucking magnificent. She's a little crazy but that girl is a masterpiece trying to show the world who she is. I'll never stop loving her. I have to be able to run 2 miles in under 18 mins and it was so hard when I first started practing but now I got that shit doooooown. Lmfao. I'm so proud of myself but y'all I have to be able to do push ups for a certain amount of time and y'all WHY IS IT SO HARD?!?!?! I can barely do 17 I swear it pisses me off so much. And of course, I wish she was here for this/: I'm so tired of being sad and missing her. But I'll always miss her. I know she misses me. Ugh. Anyway, I guess that's all for now.