#fortunately her last day here is next Friday

[thef1diary]

Little Big Fan | Two

— Little Big Flight

Read part one here

Series Masterlist

Note: Max isn’t a major part of this chapter.

wc: 1.7k

Isabella hadn't stopped talking about Max since the day the two of you met him—in the grocery store of all places.

Her excitement was beyond imaginable, and that says a lot coming from you, a mother of a six year old that should be familiar with her big imagination.

As promised, Max had contacted you for the details later that day, surprising you with flight tickets and hotel already booked. You called him as soon as you saw the message, and gave him a little earful about doing too much for two strangers.

His response, "we don't have to be strangers anymore."

The harder part however, was explaining to Isabella's father, Tyler, that you were gifted a paddock pass for yourself and your daughter. Unfortunately, the race weekend was during your ex's days to keep Isabella, so you had to tell him about the plans.

While he might've been an okay father, he wasn't the best partner. Which is why when you told him, he laughed, not believing you for a second. That is, until you showed him the flight ticket to the Netherlands, where the next race was held.

You didn't have to tell him that you met Max, your daughter already did because she couldn't contain her excitement.

You spoke to him when you were standing by the door to his house when dropping Isabella off during your week so Tyler would still able to spend time with her before you leave. When he attempted to playfully ask why he wasn't invited to the race, Isabella shrugged but you knew he was actually asking you.

"You're flying out for work, it wouldn't have been possible." You didn't tell him that Max never offered, that secret was yours to keep.

The conversation didn't last long, since a woman you hadn't met, came and stood behind Tyler. Now you usually didn't care about who comes and goes in his house, but it mattered when your daughter was there. Fortunately, the woman was leaving so you didn't have to bring up the topic. A so-called rule he created when the two of you separated.

"Alright angel, I'll see you in a few days," you crouched down and kissed Isabella's forehead. Wrapping her arms around you, she whispered in your ear, "I love you, mama."

"I love you too, angel. Have fun here yeah?" Watching her nod, Tyler sent her inside and remained standing at the door to speak to you.

"I should get going," you told him and turned to leave, but he called your name to stop you. "Thank you for sending her over this week."

"Yeah, no worries." While you were fine with keeping things formal between you and Tyler, you didn't really want to spend any extra time with him without Isabella.

Truthfully, you were still in contact with him because of Isabella as she deserved to grow up around both parents and so far, it was going well.

As soon as you sat in your car, you received a text from a newly familiar person, Max. A small smile grew on your face at the thought of him. While he might've asked for your number to send the pass details, there were a few unrelated texts that were sent as well.

Whether it was just asking about your day, or how Isabella is doing, it made your days a little sweeter knowing that he genuinely wanted to know.

Even in his latest text, he was asking about your day. You responded, telling him about dropping off Isabella at Tyler's, mentioning how much you'll miss her over the next few days. Then, you drove off, dreading to think of ways to spend time without your little one.

—

You had a lot of free time on your hands during the week that Isabella was at Tyler's house. Even after checking off every errand you had to complete, you decided to do some research about the sport. It was a lot of information to take in and all you remember, is that you would miss the practices, but would be able to watch qualifying and the actual race.

It was now Friday, ten days later, and you were boarding a flight to the Netherlands with Isabella to watch your daughter's favourite driver race.

You were quite nervous to take Isabella on a flight, as it would be the second time. The first time was four years ago, and that too was necessary at the time or else you wouldn't have taken a two year-old Isabella on the plane.

However, Isabella wouldn’t have remembered many details from that flight, so it could also be considered her first.

Truth is, you didn't travel much after giving birth to your beautiful daughter, so you kept glancing at her to ensure she was okay during the boarding process.

While Isabella was still very excited to visit a new country, you could tell that she became slightly nervous as she sat down, all buckled in her assigned seat beside yours in anticipation for takeoff.

She was looking out the window, taking in the beauty of the early morning hours. That was, until she noticed the plane beginning to move.

"Mama," she exclaimed a little loudly, immediately finding your hand and grasping on to it tightly. "It's okay, Bella, we're flying to see Max right? Are you excited?" You asked, knowing the answer to the question very well but it was just a little way to distract her. As expected, she nodded eagerly, rambling on about everything she learned about Formula 1 with her daddy.

Clutching on to her favourite teddy bear, that she's had since birth, with one hand and the other still holding on to yours, she closed her eyes tightly once the plane picked up speed on the runway. You ran your free hand through her hair, whispering words and asking questions to distract her until the plane was stably in the air.

Fortunately, it was a seven hour flight which wasn't excessively long and wouldn't cause any additional stress on how to keep Isabella entertained.

Having downloaded the movie Cars on an iPad, you were able to keep her busy for two out of seven hours. She was happily watching, forgetting the fact that they were many miles up in air. Despite the fact that Isabella has watched this movie one too many times, it was still her favourite.

Especially after watching Formula 1, she quickly considered Charles Leclerc as Lightning McQueen when she first saw him in the red car on track. Even if Max was her favourite driver, she would speak of the Ferrari driver almost as often.

Fortunately, there was a tad bit of more privacy considering you and Isabella were seated in first class. The credit for that could be given to Max. When you asked him why first class was necessary, he responded with, "you two are my guests for the race, and my guests always need to have one of the best flight experiences."

Although, he didn't mention why it was one of the best and not the best. He held back on the fact that the best experience would be in his private plane. Perhaps one day, you and Isabella would travel with him and he would be able to share the experience. Which he believes would be a whole lot better than flying with his usual team.

The only time Isabella tightly clutched on to your hand, was during takeoff, landing, and some mild turbulence. Other than that, she had a lot of fun constantly finding a way to speak to the flight attendant.

She considered the flight attendant her friend, mainly because she kept bringing Isabella snacks to pass the time. Since Isabella stayed awake during the majority of the flight, she was close to falling asleep near the end.

After the events in the grocery store, you ensured to never leave Isabella's hand in a public place even after she assured you that she wouldn't run away. So, throughout the process of getting your small suitcase, Isabella was standing right beside you, holding your hand.

"Is Maxy gonna pick us up?" Isabella asked as you walked towards the exit. You shook your head, "no, angel, he's busy."

Dejected, Isabella pouted and you had to keep yourself from chuckling at her antics. "We'll see him tomorrow, just one more night," you reassured and the pout was replaced with a smile. If she could wait over a year for Tyler's promise that was never fulfilled, she could wait one more night until it is fulfilled by you.. and Max.

After a thirty minute drive from the airport to the hotel, you were able to get off your feet and relax. While Isabella was fascinated by the view from your hotel room, you picked up your phone and sent Max a text stating that you and Isabella safely arrived as per his request.

Usually, you'd get that request from your mother, as she always needed a text or a call to ensure your safety, especially whenever you were out with Isabella.

As expected, you had an unread message from your mother asking the same. "Bella, come here," you called out and heard patters of her small feet running towards you.

"Are we sending nanna a picture?" She asked, already knowing what was going on and you laughed, nodding.

You snapped a photo of her blowing a kiss to the camera and sent it to your mother. Two minutes passed before you got a response from her, "cutest as always but what about my little girl?"

Opening the camera again, you took a snapped a photo of yourself, holding your thumbs up playfully and sent it to her. "Your little girl is perfectly safe too"

Dropping your phone on the bed, you called Isabella’s name, “I’m gonna catch you!” You playfully chased your daughter, easily picking her up, as there wasn’t a lot of space to run, and attacking her with kisses and tickles.

Your phone buzzed with a text, “beautiful”

You had accidentally sent your photo to Max after it was sent to your mother, who was supposed to be the only recipient.

Taglist: (let me know if you want to be added or removed) @xjval @mrsmaybank13 @cherry-piee @urfavnoirette @solphin @burningcupcakefire @nessacarty1 @dreamsarebig @158cmx @omgsuperstarg @fanficweasley @redbullgirly

[vettelsvee]

CLIFFORD AND EMILY | Sebastian Vettel

history series main masterlist | requests here!

ferrari sebastian vettel x race engineer girlfriend!reader

word count: 3195

summary: y/n tells seb that it would be a great present for his birthday to adopt a puppy, and they find the perfect one

warnings: fluff, fluff and more fluff. dad ferrari!seb as i can't get rid of him. based on 2018 season and narrated on seb's pov

a/n: once again, this is part of history series (coming soon as is being heavily edited) and translated by cele! changed my layout to my comfort people so are you like it? also, as always, i'll be waiting for your feedback, as well as comments and chats on that anon button please! and also, don't forget reblogs are truly appreciated guys! tysm <3

© VETTELSVEE (2024). please, do not steal, copy or translate my works. thanks for reading!

Normally, I didn't have trouble getting up in the mornings, especially during Grand Prix weekends, but today it had been incredibly hard to leave Y/N and Emily sleeping.

Maybe the problem was that today was my birthday, and, in part, we couldn't spend it like a normal family. I didn't mind working on such a special day, but it did bother me when I thought it was my first birthday with Emily.

Very reluctantly, I decided to start my day, trying not to let my bad mood consume me. As soon as I set foot on the floor, I adjusted the sheets to cover my girlfriend, taking the utmost care not to wake her. Nights with our daughter were exasperating, and I didn't know how Y/N managed to be at one hundred percent during team meetings, press conferences, free practice sessions, qualifying and the race, and especially the briefings and all the data analysis her job entailed.

I trained with Eddie for just an hour and a half. According to him, my birthday present was a less strict training session; even so, we ran a lap around the block where the hotel was located, and then we went straight to the gym.

At half-past seven in the morning, to my good fortune, he told me I could go back to my room to get ready for that Friday.

I entered as quickly as I could, being very careful because it was still quite early, and I assumed my girls would be resting. Deep down, I knew that wasn't going to be the case, so I wasn't surprised to see Y/N, still in her pyjamas, walking back and forth while breastfeeding Emily and trying to eat a piece of toast.

“God!” She quickly swallowed the bite and pretended she hadn't been eating. I couldn't help but laugh at how cute the scene seemed to me. “I'm so sorry, Seb. I had ordered breakfast to be brought up and ready for when you came, but I was so hungry and wasn't sure when Eddie would let you go today…”

I shook my head and approached her. I left a short kiss on her lips and then placed another on my daughter's forehead.

“Happy birthday, sunshine,” she said, wrapping her free arm around me. “How many birthdays have we spent together now? Eight?”

“Seven,” I corrected her, remembering we didn’t get to spend the 2008 one together. “And I hope there will be more because I'm not going to let you get rid of me anytime soon.”

“Do you really think I'm going to get rid of you so soon? In case you don't remember, we not only work together: we also share a house, a cat, a daughter, and we're going to have a dog…”

After that last part, Y/N let out a small scream and covered her mouth with her hand.

If I was the one who could keep secrets perfectly, Y/N Y/L/N was the complete opposite.

“What do you mean by a dog, Y/N?”

“Oh, well, I don't know… I must have mixed up some conversation I had with Aristella about Cherry,” her nerves were quite noticeable. “I got confused, and…”

“Y/N, I know you perfectly, and I know when you're lying to me. What did you mean by we’re going to have a dog?”

Given my insistence and, why not say it, the poker face I probably had, my girlfriend sighed. She placed Emily in the crib next to our bed and, while asking me to sit down and start having breakfast, took her mobile phone and immersed herself in it.

“Well, you see…” she began, sitting in front of me and taking a strawberry in her hands. “Since you adopted Vanilla as a surprise for me, I've been thinking that I would like to do the same for you, but between the chaotic 2013 we had and Emily's birth, I found it a bit impossible. It's also true that it's something I would like to discuss before doing it because it's a matter that depends not only on me but also on you,” she clarified.

“And that means…?”

“Forget it, Seb. It doesn't matter. I haven't told you anything, okay? Forget it.”

It bothered me to see her so indecisive, though it didn’t stop me from finding her idea quite endearing deep down. I knew she was nervous; the constant fiddling with the napkin and her flushed cheeks were proof of that.

“Do you want to adopt a dog?” I asked her, loud and clear.

“It’s not that I want to adopt a dog. Well, I do, but…” she sighed, stopped eating breakfast, and looked at me directly. “The thing is, I know you’d like to have a dog, and you’ve had that idea in your head for quite some time, so I thought that, only if you want, we could adopt one,” she finally explained.

“Do you want to wait until we get back home? If you want, we can talk to Michael and have him recommend…”

“No, no, not at all! I’ve already talked to Lewis about it, and he’s informed me,” she hastened to clarify. “Since I wanted to do all this, if possible, today, I asked him where he adopted Roscoe and Coco. I thought today was the perfect day for the adoption because it’s your birthday,” she repeated.

I nodded as I got up and headed towards Emily’s crib, who had started crying once more.

“I mean, all this is only if you want, of course,” Y/N spoke again. Before I could respond, she interrupted me once more. “But if you want, we can do it when we get back home. I don’t mind, except I wouldn’t have another birthday present to give you…”

Still holding the baby in my arms, I approached her and silenced her with a long, slow kiss, one I took my time with but received no complaints about, quite the opposite.

Y/N always went out of her way with gifts, even during times when her finances weren't the best. I much preferred her giving me something symbolic over an expensive whim.

So, the fact that she wanted to adopt a dog today, as my birthday present, made this thing I had wanted for so long even more special. Plus, thinking that Emily would grow up with the new member of the family made it a thousand times better.

“If my girl says it’s happening today, then we should follow her lead,” I finished saying. “What time do you think we’ll be done with everything we have to do today?”

[...]

“I hope there aren’t too many people, because if Britta finds out we’re doing all this without telling her…”

“Y/N, relax. If there’s any problem or anything, I’ll handle the press. Besides, it’s not like they don’t know me: remember I adopted Roscoe and Coco there, so they know me quite well.”

Lewis had decided to come with us to, according to him, ensure his friends received proper treatment. Deep down, I knew it was because he didn’t want to see Aristella, Britta’s niece and Y/N's best friend, hanging around Rosberg even while they were in the middle of their divorce process.

Hamilton’s concern for the girl wasn’t just something a friend would have, and I knew he was fully aware of that.

“Do you have something in mind, Seb?”

Lewis’s voice snapped me out of my trance.

“Sorry, what?”

“If you’ve thought of a name for the dog,” the dark-haired man spoke again. “I hope it’s something different from the usual. You know, the world has too many Tobys and all those common dog name variants.”

“If we’re talking about giving common names to pets, Seb is your guy,” Y/N spoke now, almost shouting. “When he adopted Vanilla just to get me to move in with him, he told me Garfield was a better name. Garfield, like the cartoon cat! If that’s not common…”

“What do you want to call an orange cat, Y/N? Vanilla? I remind you that you wanted to name her Cheeto…”

“Because she looked like a Cheeto and I thought it was a male!” she retorted. “Later, when I realised she was female and not so orange, I named her Vanilla.”

“Vanilla, I like it. It’s an… interesting name,” Lewis intervened. “Can I ask why you named her like that?”

“Y/N's favourite ice cream flavour is vanilla. That, and if you add the fact that cats are her favourite animal…” I answered in her place.

I saw Y/N's lips curve slightly in the rear-view mirror.

Then, she turned around and put a hand on my leg, stroking it.

“I hope you find the perfect name for the new family member, love. Even if it’s the same as every other dog in the world,” she said ironically.

After those words, I realised we had arrived at the shelter Lewis Hamilton seemed to admire so much.

The Brit, as he guided us towards what appeared to be the entrance, commented that we should be careful with Emily, not because the furry ones were aggressive, but because they got very excited when they had visitors, especially if they were children.

A dark-skinned woman with completely dark hair was at the door, as if she had been waiting for us for a while. Lewis gave her a hug and immediately introduced us.

“These are Sebastian Vettel, his girlfriend Y/N, and their daughter, Emily.”

She gave us a smile, and I saw she intended to shake our hands until she saw our little one. She approached to dote on her as soon as Y/N gave her permission with a glance. Emily’s laughter began to fill the room, and she started to move cheerfully in Y/N's arms.

“I’m so sorry for my lack of manners, but when I see such a beautiful baby like this little one…” the woman began to say, still playing with the child. Then, she cleared her throat and looked at both of us. “Nice to meet you, couple,” she finally shook our hands. “I’m Jade, and well, I’ve been a volunteer at this shelter since time immemorial, back in the prehistoric times.”

“Don’t say that, Jade! You look wonderful,” Lewis told her, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t be so flattering, young man,” she chided him. “I appreciate all kinds of compliments for my age, but that’s not why we’re here. Well, tell me: if I’m not mistaken, and as your friend here has told me, you want to expand your family, right?”

Now she was looking intently at both of us. I nodded in response; at the same time, and by inertia, my right arm wrapped around my girlfriend’s waist, which made Emily start reaching out her little arms to come to me.

“Today is Seb’s birthday, and he’s been wanting to adopt a dog for quite some time,” my girlfriend explained.

“Oh, the adoption is a birthday gift!” Jade exclaimed, beginning to clap and approaching me quickly to give me a hug that I gladly accepted. “Happy birthday, dear! How old are you now?”

“Twenty-eight.”

“Oh, dear. If I could be that age again…”

I smiled at her response as Y/N handed me Emily, who had started babbling to come to me.

“A daddy’s girl, I see, huh?” Jade chimed in. Y/N was about to answer, but before she could even do so, the woman was already speaking again. “Well, since it’s your birthday, I think I have the perfect gift for you.”

Without saying anything more, the woman gestured for us to follow her, and we did. We passed through several areas with dogs of different ages roaming freely, who approached us to sniff and perhaps convince us to adopt them.

Lewis mentioned that some of them were related to Coco. I laughed at the supposed joke, which stopped being a joke when Jade confirmed it. Y/N lagged behind a few times because she stopped to play with the dogs that approached her, which were quite a few. Emily and I, however, kept a brisk pace, possibly eager to find out what the woman was talking about and why she was being so mysterious.

Finally, we arrived at a kind of room with less light than I expected and, to my surprise, full of what seemed to be soft little beds. On top of them, not only was there a dog lying down that seemed quite tired, but there were also several puppies nursing from her.

Jade indicated before we entered that we should remain silent.

“One of our dogs gave birth last night,” she told us. “I don’t want to give all her puppies up for adoption since I’d like at least one to stay with her, but considering that the puppies and you share a birthday, I’d be delighted if you adopted one of them.”

I opened my eyes wide and couldn’t say anything. Next to me, Y/N seemed to have reacted the same way I did.

Saying we were surprised would be an understatement.

“But… are you serious?” my girlfriend commented, still in surprise.

“Of course, dears!” the woman responded cheerfully. “The only issue, so to speak, though it’s not really a problem, is that it’ll take about a month and a half before you can take him home. You know, the separation process from the mother is crucial.”

“No problem, really. We’ll wait as long as it takes,” I finally spoke. “Besides, I think we have a break around that time, right?”

“Yes, about a month,” Lewis replied.

“We’ve already got our vacation destination, sunshine,” Y/N said to me, apparently much more excited than I was.

“Now, I need you to tell me something important: which one of them do you want to be your little girl’s new brother?”

Still holding Emily, Y/N and I carefully approached the puppies.

To our eyes, they all looked exactly the same. We couldn’t see their eyes, but I was almost convinced they would be similar to the colour of their fur, a light brown skin similar to beach sand. They were huddled together and didn’t seem to be doing anything other than trying to nurse for as long as possible.

“Do you know what breed or mix they are?” Y/N asked the lady with that characteristic curiosity of hers.

“If I remember correctly, their mother is a golden retriever and their father, a big labrador.”

My girlfriend thanked her, turning towards her and leaving Emily by herself for a moment. At that point, seemingly unaware that her mother wasn't watching her every move, the little one began to crawl towards the puppies. Instinctively, I quickly scooped her up in my arms to prevent her from doing so. However, she didn't seem to give up: she started kicking until, just like that, I brought her a little closer to the furry animals.

While Y/N and Lewis chatted with Jade, I remained seated on the floor next to my daughter, who seemed to have settled on a particular puppy. I tried shifting her gaze from side to side, attempting to get her to notice the rest of them, but it seemed the one farthest from its mother had caught her attention the most.

“I think Emily has chosen who’s going to be her adopted sibling, hasn’t she?” I remarked.

As soon as I said that, the three of them turned towards me, crouching down to my level. Emily was still engrossed with that little one and seemed to continue being so until we left.

“Have you chosen for Daddy, Emi?” Y/N asked, almost lying on the floor to join the game that Emily was playing with the one who seemed to be our new child. “Do you want this to be your new little brother? Or sister, of course.”

“He's a boy, actually,” Jade intervened. “And, if I’m honest and don't recall incorrectly, he’s the oldest of the whole litter.”

“Do you want to adopt this little one then, sunshine? Honestly, if you’re not convinced we can wait a bit…” Y/N whispered as if wanting it to be a secret between us.

“Clifford,” I suddenly blurted out.

They looked at me as if they had seen a ghost. Of course, I would act the same if someone dropped a name out of nowhere in a situation like this.

“I want to name him Clifford,” I clarified. “Remember the series about that big red dog you told me you watched with your sisters when they were little?” I asked my girlfriend, who nodded. “Well, if I remember correctly, you told me that the main character of the series, who was also the owner of the dog, was named Emily.”

“What’s that got to do with it, love?” she asked, curious. Did she really not know why I had suggested that name?

“Well, it just so happens that your daughter is named Emily and she seems to have chosen for us.”

Y/N’s eyes lit up and widened exaggeratedly. I swear I saw them get a little misty when she finally seemed to understand what I meant. Immediately, she stood up, took the baby in her arms, and began to talk to her while they played as if they were the only ones in the room.

“I guess I already have a birthday present, right?” I asked the redhead, standing beside her and giving her a kiss on the forehead and another to our daughter.

“Emily and Clifford…” she murmured. “I like it. I love it, actually.”

“Well, I hope that when we have the next baby, I can nail it in the same way.”

Jade, after the last sentence that I had just said, was left dumbfounded. Lewis, for his part, tried to turn a deaf ear and, instead, told me that they would be waiting for us at the entrance to do all the necessary paperwork, not without whispering to me in the least blatant way possible that he hoped that this would be my other birthday present.

Obviously, he deserved a well-deserved punch from Y/N.

“Are you already thinking about the next baby, love? Emily hasn’t even turned one yet!”

“I always think about the second baby, to be honest,” I replied. I was convinced, and I knew as well as she did that we had barely laid the foundations of our family. “A puppy brother for Emily is fine, but a human one would be a thousand times better. Don’t you think so?”

Y/N rolled her eyes and turned away, heading towards the shelter entrance. I quickly caught up with her, and her laughter filled my ears.

“If you're already thinking about our second baby, then we'll have to listen to Lewis and start practising tonight before dinner with my parents,” she suggested.

Her mischievous look infected me, and I couldn’t help but return it.

“As the birthday boy, I vote for squeezing in a free practice session before dinner with my parents tonight. How does that sound?”

“Whatever you wish, birthday boy,” she replied. “But I hope you come up with a good enough excuse for them not to suspect anything when we arrive late, and also when you ask if they can keep Emily overnight.”

[kerokerokook]

the rebound girl: chapter two

pairing: nerd pro-gamer jeongguk x reader

word count: 25.5k wtf

warnings for this chapter: oc just goes for it, jeongguk is hot as usual, lots of kissing, finally some smut, first time, virgin jk!, subby jk! with dom! reader at first but that changes, oral (m. receiving), oral fixation, fingering, jeongguk does the lower stomach trick from tiktok (iykyk), he's a little shit but it's okay.

other tags: lots of overthinking, oc goes back and forth a whole bunch (she's confused and hurt ok), jeongguk is a giant MF green flag (obvi), vmin and 2yeon being chaotically gay ofc, some brief physics mentioned, a bit of angst, oc has been hurt in her teen years.

a/n: sorry this took 9 million years but ya girl just got into her masters program!! hopefully, i can update this once/twice a month? maybe even more but, that's the plan!

enjoy :)

<3 mal

original post

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The first day of school hit you in the face like a speeding fourteen-wheel truck. 

Okay, that’s a bit of an exaggeration because you’ve known the date since the beginning of summer break but time flew by so quickly that you couldn’t believe September was starting and another school year was too. 

Soon, you’ll graduate and get a job and move on from all of the shit you’ve gone through to become a whole adult. It’s terrifying yet exciting all at once. 

Fortunately, you picked out your outfit last night: baggy blue jeans, a white cropped tank top and an oversized black corduroy button up shirt. It’s simple and comfy which you always prefer for school outfits. Simple gold jewelry sits on your neck and in your ears and you keep your hair back with a clear claw clip. You keep your makeup light, being that you’ll be back home in a few hours where you’ll just slip back into your pajamas and do nothing for the rest of the day.

While packing your things, you make sure to tuck Jeongguk’s t-shirt that you’ve washed and his umbrella into your backpack, then give Snowball her last few pets for the day while checking her food and water bowl. 

“I’ll be back in a few hours cutie,” you coo, scratching underneath her chin. Her head tilts up, a content smile on her cute face, eyes shut while pushing into your touch.

Adopting Snowball sort of just happened. You were lonely last Winter break after a guy you met in your Economic Growth Seminar had moved on and your mom was talking about how your neighbor’s cat just had a litter of kittens. Thankfully, your landlord was okay with pets and boom, there was a little fluff ball making your day better little by little. After a long day, there was nothing you liked doing more than stroking her soft fur and listening to music or throwing a movie on while she purrs right next to you. She’s a great comfort to you and your friends love her too.

Tearfully, you rip yourself away from your little baby and step outside of your comfortable apartment. The hallway is empty at this time. Your building has mostly college students and a few bachelors and bachelorettes here and there so it’s surprising that no one else is walking out at the same time as you. But that’s fine. No polite greetings necessary. You put your headphones in, play some music and begin your trek to school. 

Living one subway ride away from university is a privilege. It never takes you that long to get to class and it’s easy to get back home. It’s the best thing about living here. 

Plus in the springtime, the blossoms decorate the streets with little pink petals and it’s a sight to see. 

On the way down the subway steps, you check your schedule once more just to be sure of your class load today. You have a 9am lecture, then an 11:30am lecture and then a discussion at 1:45 but those only start the second week of school every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. On Tuesdays and Thursdays, you have classes from 8am-3pm which sounds like ass now that you think about it. 

Fuck, were you drunk when you selected these courses? 

You shake your head. Whatever, not like there’s much you can do now, right? At least you’ll be busy so less time to mess around. 

Your walk down the steps continues and you shove your phone into your jean pocket as you rush over to make the train before your first class, taking out your metro-card.

After dodging some lethargic businessmen and starstruck tourists, you manage to reach the train with a few seconds to spare. There’s a towards the back so you quickly walk over and grab the handle when there’s a vibration against your ass. 

Confused, you pull your phone out. It’s probably a tiktok sent to you by Jeongyeon of a cat with a funny filter on or something but the screen shows the message icon and you use FaceID to unlock your phone to see who the sender was.

It’s a text from Jeongguk. 

jeon jeongguk

hey

do you want to give me the stuff outside the engineering building?

maybe around 1? 

by stuff i mean my shirt and umbrella

You smile to yourself. The fact that he felt the need to explain what he meant by stuff is unbelievably adorable to you. 

me 

sure, i’ll be there :) 

You almost wonder what Jeongguk’s schedule is like but you stop yourself quickly. You tried to not to think too much about him on Sunday when you got back. It was enough that his sweet smelling shirt was on your body and you still had the lingering imprint of his hug on your skin but now that you know he  goes to the same school, you’ll become more interested and you can’t. Jeongguk isn’t going to be the next boy to occupy your mind. 

This year is going to be different. You won’t be the rebound girl anymore, you won’t sleep with guys from your school, and you won’t give in. 

After everything that went down with Wooshik, it’s just better for you to distance yourself from this stupid label of rebound girl. It’s done nothing but hurt you and worsen your relationship with the people in your department. First year you were hanging out and eating with them and now all you have are Nayeon and Jeongyeon. Not that you don’t like them but you just hate what being the rebound girl has done to your college life.

Your mother used to say your college years are your prime years to be young and stupid and learn about life. 

But college is nothing special to you. The classes are harder, people are smarter, meaner, better, and all you can do is push yourself to do the best that you can. Sometimes it’s enough, sometimes it isn’t. Your friends are great and you’ve made some good memories, but so far, college isn’t that coming-of-age life lesson that your mother always talked about. 

You’re not particularly upset about it. You just wished you could do more. Live your life without eyes all over you and whispers at every mistake. 

As the train lets you off at your spot, you make sure to triple check your schedule for the day so you know where you’re going after your first class. 

9am is your Macroeconomics lecture in the Economics building which is fine. Your professor is nice and the class seems interesting enough that you know you’ll do well. Mostly test based which won’t be a problem because economics is your thing. You’ve been studying it diligently for three years now so you can confidently say that. 

But 11:30 is your worst nightmare: physics. 

This is all your fault. Nayeon told you to get all of your general education requirements out of the way quickly your first and second year so that you wouldn’t have to worry about them later but you didn’t listen. 

Look, science is simply not your thing. High school courses were hell on earth thanks to your asshole of a Chemistry teacher. You managed to gaslight yourself into thinking math was easy enough as long as you studied like a mad person and got those requirements out of the way but science is hell on earth for you. Your university requires one life science and two physical sciences. Life science was an easy choice: zoology. You got to learn about cute animals and watch videos about them. First semester of your first year was easy. 

Then you decided to take Geology for physical science during your second semester. It sounded easy but memorizing all of those different rock formations was starting to wear you out from the inside. Somehow you managed a B. And after that, it was either meteorology, astronomy, or some form of physics since every other course required you to be enrolled in the Physical Sciences department or have some prerequisite that you didn’t want to take. None of the options sounded appealing to you so you put it off until now. Then, when the realization hit that you had only one more year after this to make up for all of those credits, you decided astronomy might be the best choice after reading some professor reviews. 

Only for you to sleep through registration and wake up in a frenzy to find the class completely full. 

Yeah, you almost started crying.

So physics it was and, how wonderful, the only class available was with an unlikeable teacher that has a horrible rating. Amazing. 

Panic floods your system as you walk into the large lecture hall. You aim for a seat in the middle, take out your supplies, and start diligently listening. Your professor is a stout, sad, little man who is trying to improve his professor score online so thankfully, he says he’s going to be more lenient when it comes to tests but demands that homework be turned in on time otherwise points will be deducted. Fair enough. You could do that. 

But then he starts going into course material. 

Energy; alright. 

Motion; cool. 

Thermodynamics; okay.

Optics; excuse me?

Electromagnetism; sound the alarms. 

This class is going to kill you. Even if it’s Physics 1 and your class is filled with mostly underclassmen, you know you won’t grasp the concepts easily with all of your other classes weighing down on your head. There’s so much to do and so little time to do it all. 

“.. previous students of mine have so graciously offered tutoring hours so if any of you are confused, I highly recommend meeting up with them and going over concepts. They have taken my tests before so they know what to expect. It is the best way to ensure you do well.”

Most of the students behind you have gone to sleep or started scrolling through their phones but you have a lightbulb moment. 

Perfect, okay. All you have to do is check the list of tutors online and schedule appointments with them. Shouldn’t be that bad.  Another thing to be strict about. 

This is just what you wanted: a tight enough schedule to keep you too busy to think about anything else.

Once class is over, you pack all of your things and check your phone once more. Jeongguk said he’d be outside the engineering building which is close to the physical sciences building. The time reads 12:50pm so you have some time to make your way outside. 

So far, the first day has ended and it’s gone pretty well. You’ll go back home, create a strict study table on your Notion, rent all of your books and then relax for the rest of the day. Then the rest of this week should be smooth sailing as you get into the groove with your new professors. Nayeon and Jeongyeon are going to meet you at your place for home-cooked dinner this Friday( a little first week back tradition) which you’re excited for.  You should look up some recipes and make sure Nayeon stays out of your kitchen so she won’t blow anything up. That girl is incapable of not making a disaster in the kitchen. 

You sigh through your nose, studying the sights you see on campus. Various students walking in small triplets or duos. The occasional lone wolf with headphones on to block out the world. Some clubs are putting up posters or setting up tables to grab first years as they explore campus. The path that is currently running outside the STEM buildings break off into various courtyards and cafes where students of all departments come to chill or cut through to go to their other classes. 

It’s about to be a great scenic walk just until you run into Wooshik and his buddies as they’re exiting a café with drinks in their hands. 

Kill me now. 

You pause like a deer in headlights when you make eye contact with him, stopping midway so your lips can part as your entire body goes stuff. 

Now, more than anything, you really wish you were walking with someone. 

“Hey,” Wooshik forces out, crossing his arms over his chest. His polo shirt is open enough to show a random cluster of dark hickeys from the middle of his throat to the beginning of his chest. Real subtle. 

Before seeing that, you were thinking about apologizing but now, not so much. 

“Hi,” your tone is short. You can feel eyes dance over your body, the swell of your breasts and the sliver of skin revealed between your crop top and pants from one of his creepy pals behind him and you have half a mind to kick him in the balls. 

Wooshik’s eyes bounce back and he juts his face forward like he’s waiting for you to say something to him but you keep your lips perfectly sealed. If he wants an apology, he can wait until he’s dead. His other friends exchange weird looks at the lack of conversation going on between you two, probably wondering if this standoff is going to linger forever. 

It makes you wonder what Wooshik told them. 

Guys love having their ego fluffed. If they get rejected by a girl, they’ll tell their best friends that she was an ugly slut or they’ll flip the story to say that they rejected her to save face. The last thing they want their friends to know is that a girl rejected them. It dims their coolness. However, you really don’t give a fuck about Wooshik looking cool in front of his boys. If anything, you revel in the cutting deflation he’ll feel when you tell them the truth. 

“Did you get the wine out of your shirt?” You ask innocently. “I should’ve aimed it more towards your face and less towards your clothes.” Shrugging, a satisfied smile grows on your lips. 

Wooshik’s ears turn red. “I–” he cuts eye contact as his friends snicker behind him. You watch in satisfaction as his expression changes from surprised to annoyed to angry. “You know what, fuck you. You ruined my shirt. I had to take that hot waitress back to my place instead of a hotel so I didn’t reek of wine.”  

You scoff immediately. “Damn and I was trying to do her a favor. But congrats, looks like you got your tiny dick wet for two minutes.” You start to clap. One of his friends chokes back a splutter of laughter at the jab. 

Wooshik wasn’t anything amazing but you sort of expected that. Most of your hookups are satisfactory. They get the job done and they give up. As stupid as it sounds, you’ve always gone above and beyond to pleasure someone. There’s something amazing about making your partner feel good but most men see sex in a selfish lens. 

For most guys, sex means sticking their dick in and sloshing it around a few times until they feel good. Boom, sex over. 

Now, if they want to make you feel good, it still won’t be about you. Orgasms are like points. They don’t get off on your pleasure but more on the fact that they’re so amazing at sex that you experienced pleasure. Another way to fluff their egos. 

For once, you’d wish for a guy to actually care about you and your pleasure in an unselfish way, the same way you do for them. 

Wooshik stumbles for a moment but he jumps back quickly to get you too. Especially with all of his boys watching. 

“You didn’t seem to complain about it at first. What, changed your mind because I didn’t want you anymore?” 

Oh, please. A plastic vibrator has done more for you than he ever will. 

You laugh sardonically. “No, I just felt bad for you.” You say it wholeheartedly and it's the most truthful you’ve ever been with him. 

His friends then burst into giggles and snickers, shoving him around when he fails to retort, left dumbfounded by the sheer audacity of you but you don’t care. You don’t get to see the look on Wooshik’s face but you don’t care. The laughter is your cue to leave him. 

 That chapter of your life is over now and you won’t ever have to deal with him again. The last man you’ll let trample all over you the minute you show them some sympathy. 

All you can hope is that the pesky nickname that’s been poisoning you since your first year college can fade away into obscurity forever and ever. 

Then, you can just be you. No label, no nickname, no reputation. Just a regular college senior. 

The walk to the engineering building is lighter now. You feel like one of the falling petals gently flying through the sky from the branch down to the ground. A new journey begins and you can’t wait for it. 

After another minute of walking, you reach the engineering building. Painted a soft brown with tons of posters and clubs waiting to talk to students. You dodge all of them to head inside where Jeongguk is waiting by a random classroom. You navigate through the crowd until you finally locate a  mop of gorgeous dark hair and bright clear eyes. 

He’s facing his phone screen, one leg crossed over the other, but you’re still mesmerized by him. Beauty is in simplicity but with a face like that, Jeongguk could wear a burlap sack and make it work. But currently, he’s dressed in baggy gray cargos and a dark blue long-sleeve shirt with some brand name logo on it. The urge to sigh like a satisfied cartoon character is intense. 

You hate and love it at the same time. How on earth can he look so boyfriend without trying? 

“Hey, Jeongguk,” you call softly, taking short strides towards him, hoping that your hair looks good and not like a frizzy mess from the wind. 

His head pops up, glimmering eyes like two black pools of water gazing back at you. Then a soft grin forms on his lips, skin creasing, dimpling, and cute. 

“Hey.” Jeongguk tucks his phone into his pants pocket. His perfume wafts over to you the moment he moves, welcoming you like a warm hug after a long day. 

You want to bury your nose in it and never forget the smell. 

“Sorry, I got caught up with something on the way here. Were you waiting for a while?”

“Nah, I’ve been here for like two minutes. Did you bring it?” He adjusts his bag for a moment. 

“Yep.” You hand him the shirt, neatly folded and smelling of your fabric softener, along with the umbrella tied. “All clean.” A cute smile grows on his face as he gently takes the items and puts it in his bag, humming excitedly under his breath which makes your entire body warm. “Listen, are you off for the rest of the day?” 

“Yeah, I have all morning classes on Mondays and Wednesdays. You?”  

“Same and it just so happens that I needed a walking buddy to the subway station.”  You take the first step towards the exit when he agrees with a short chuckle and a nod. Your apartment building is one stop away while Jeongguk is about four stops away so you won’t get to talk much but the sentiment is what matters. 

Plus, all you really want is to be close to him and his family again. There was a real bond going on when you were young and now you’ve been handed a golden chance to reignite that spark. 

Fresh air fills your lungs while your ears pick up on the sounds of fading conversations, the smell of food and new school supplies greets your nose. You have yet to reach the economics building, where more people know you, so people here aren’t staring just yet. They’re preoccupied with their own lives and you want to appreciate it for a little longer. 

“By the way, thanks for Saturday. I’m sure dealing with five drunk weirdos must’ve been annoying,” you add. 

You barely remember the words coming out of your mouth. It was a slew of garbled song lyrics, high thoughts and giggles and that’s the best you can do. There’s no way Jeongguk was walking out of the night sane.  

He huffs out a laugh and then shakes his hair out of his eyes in a very attractive manner. “It was… well, it was something, I’ll tell you that much. But you don’t have to apologize. I don’t mind.” Then Jeongguk looks at you with his chin tilted down, lids low, almost glazed over like he’s checking you out but his gaze just dances over the features of your face. 

You get incredibly shy with him staring at you like that. 

Let’s hope you aren’t turning tomato red right now. 

“Jimin and Tae go out a lot so I’m used to making sure they don’t, like, die.” 

Jeongguk is like Jeongyeon in that sense. Always taking care of people and making sure they are safe in bed before worrying about themselves. Sometimes, she forgets that she’s allowed to have fun and let loose too and you don’t want Jeongguk to fall into the same mindset. Being the caretaker all the time can be draining. 

“I mean, it’s your birthday and the rest of us were getting fucked up. Usually, it’s the other way around.” 

Your 20th was nothing short of a hot mess. Nayeon snuck in bottles she got her older brother to buy and you tried to take a shot from every single type he brought. Whiskey, vodka, soju, sake, and beer. Safe to say, that was a rookie mistake that ended up hunched over a toilet bowl  for almost an hour. Nayeon held your hair while Jeongyeon ordered just enough carbs and hangover soup to make it all better. 

But it was a memory you hold dear to you because it was one of the last moments you felt like it was okay for you to be a stupid teenager and make a mistake.

Jeongguk didn’t get that moment and you want him to because that sloppy behavior won’t be cute when he’s in his late 20s or early 30s. 

“I didn’t want to,” he shrugs simply. “Drinking is sorta fun but I don’t love it and I never let myself get super drunk.” You want to ask why but Jeongguk continues speaking. “But we had cake and barbecue before coming to the club and my parents sent a care package, so it was a good birthday. Taking care of you guys didn’t ruin everything.” 

You relent a little. Perceptions of fun are different after all and maybe, for Jeongguk, he got exactly what he wanted so he isn’t complaining. The residual guilt fades slowly inside of you.

“As long as you enjoyed your birthday,” you sigh, a wave of something sentimental coming over you causes your heels to raise up so you can be tall enough to ruffle his fluffy perfect hair. The same boy who only dressed in Pokémon shirts is now legal, old enough to do whatever he wants, and you’re starting to feel a little soft about it. “Can’t believe you’re twenty!” You squeal. “You’re all grown up!” 

Jeongguk cringes, turning away from your constant pinches and prods and whining as a few eyes drift towards the two of you. His ears get the tiniest bit red but he doesn’t scold you so you continue teasing him. 

“Remember when you used to hand draw all of my birthday cards with little cartoons and you and Eunchae would come with my mom and I to look at all of the cakes at the store?”

The filmstrip of memories is painfully nostalgic. That one nice cake store a few streets away from your apartment building that made the best cakes. If you close your eyes, you can smell the sugary air as you walk in, a tinkling bell on the door to let the owners know someone was there, and the various cakes put in the display case. You always got the fudgiest chocolate cake with bright red strawberries on top. Your mom could only afford the small size but that was fine. You just wanted a cake. 

Jeongguk would come with you and press his face to the glass in complete awe. Sometimes, the three of you would pretend like you were rich people who got to buy big cakes whenever they pleased and you’d pick the biggest sizes of your favorite flavors. 

You always got chocolate, Jeongguk got some sort of fruit while Eunchae would get red velvet and you would dream of the day when you had enough money to indulge yourself on a whim. . 

Then, when Jeongguk’s mom opened up her bakery, she began making your birthday cakes so the three of you sort of got your wish but those were free. Made with love and compassion until you moved too far to feel it. 

“You still remember all of that?” He asks. The stone pathway turns. A signal that the economics building is getting closer by the second. 

Trying not to think about it, you answer him. “Of course, why wouldn’t I?” You’ve always had impeccable memory but you treasured every second of your childhood. 

Because your later teens, in Seoul and away from all that you knew, were terrible. 

“I barely remembered what I ate yesterday,” Jeongguk laughs, staring over at you. “That’s pretty impressive.” 

“You think so?” You turn to look at him when you feel his eyes linger for longer than usual. His stare isn’t piercing but it leaves a viable imprint on your skin like a thick layer of lotion. “What?” You get self-conscious. Is there something in your hair? Did a bird shit on you without you noticing? 

“I like your hair,” Jeongguk says after a moment, pointing to the clear clip holding all of your hair up. 

A few of the shorter strands come out from the tight hold with time, framing your face, while the rest remain bunched up with a large claw clip. It’s such an effortless look. This morning you were too lazy to fully style your hair with a hair dryer and a brush after spending too much time on it for your sham date with Wooshik. It’s starting to get a little greasy so you plan to wash it tomorrow but this is your go-to dirty hair look. 

“Oh, thanks.” A goofy grin nearly breaks out onto your face but you stop it halfway. “I like your earrings.” You want to return Jeongguk’s compliment with one of your own. Your pointer finger runs through the three thick hoops like a wind chime, causing Jeongguk’s shoulder to rise up thanks to the ticklish sensation, getting shy. “How on earth did your mom allow all of these piercings?” 

Mrs. Jeon lost her shit when a 14-year-old you greeted her with a second hole in your ears when she was coming home from the grocery store.  An upperclassman offered to pierce everyone’s ears using the nurses supplies in exchange for cigarettes or candy from a nearby convenience store. Since she was your guardian for the day while your mom was out for a certification exam, she felt irresponsible but you assured her that your mom was okay with it. 

Well, she had no idea at the time but you knew she’d get over it at some point. It was a second ear piercing, not like you got a tattoo on your forehead. 

“These were all presents, actually.” Your fingers brush the back of his palm as you get closer to the economics building at the end of the road, a little before the sidewalk down the main road begins, as your dread multiplies. “I learned that from you. Convinced mom and dad that my good grades warranted some award and they had no choice but to say yes.”

A dangerously familiar feeling mixed with pride courses through your veins like the newest drug. Jeongguk says he doesn’t remember much but he manages to reach in and pull out a sickly sweet memory from your childhood that has your insides turning into mush. You almost want to wrap your arms around your stomach to get it to stop flipping so much. 

You didn’t ask for much as a kid. Growing up you knew that money was tight so expensive things like the best console or brand name clothes were simply out of the question. But you liked to barter with your mom for more simple things. A good grade for ice cream or a day at the beach or a trip to the bookstore to buy a manga edition you’ve been waiting to read. 

It wasn’t all the time but when you felt like you wanted to celebrate yourself. You earned it after all. 

Then you got a little older and you wanted to become like the cool older girls you went to school with. So you dropped ice cream for piercings, nail polish, and CDs from all of the new idol groups that were popular at the time. Your mom was frugal of course, most of your stuff was cheap from the local dollar store or second hand markets, but she loved to treat you. She wished she could spoil you one day, buy you everything you could lay your eyes on, however the universe didn’t allow her to do that. 

She still can’t but that’s okay. You’re glad you didn’t grow up a spoiled brat. That you learned humility and patience and empathy because it’s those traits that set you apart from most of your classmates. 

“I taught you well.” Fingers itching to flick his chin, you hold back. You don’t want to make him uncomfortable with all of the touching. 

Jeongguk hums. “Got these and these,” he turns his head to the other side to show you almost five studs in his ear, “after my class rank and CSAT score came out.”  

“Didn’t that hurt?” 

You do your best to keep your eyes either on the ground or on Jeongguk as the almighty building comes into view. Despite the heavy beating in your chest, your inner turmoil shouldn’t be obvious. 

Jeongguk doesn’t need to know about your problems. Those are yours and yours alone. 

“Yeah but it wasn’t unbearable. I swear, Eunchae almost passed out when she got her doubles. She hates needles.” 

You laugh. “I remember. Your sister was freaking out when we were all getting our vaccines because she literally slithered down onto the floor the moment she saw the thing.” 

Jeongguk hums. There’s a small break in the conversation as the two of you pass by a huge yet short wave crowd of people who are either rushing to the cafeteria or to their next class but even through all of that, you can feel eyes all over the two of your backs. Especially yours. 

Your department members linger by the vending machines and smoking areas in little judgmental pods,  whispering about you amongst themselves. 

You can predict what they’re saying. 

There she goes again, latching onto another guy after Wooshik dumped her poor pathetic ass. 

Will she ever learn? 

Poor thing. He probably doesn’t know that he’s dealing with the campus whore. 

That word. That one word, repeats in your mind. Whore, whore, whore. That’s all you’ll ever be to them. 

Fear sets in. What will they say about Jeongguk? Will he get teased? Will he find out about your reputation and want nothing to do with you afterwards? No, the last thing you want is for him to get tangled in all of this. He shouldn’t have to deal with all of this. Know about all of the things people whisper about you when they think you aren’t listening.

At some point, he’ll find out. No matter how hard you try to hide it, push it down, pretend everything is okay, Jeongguk will come to know what everyone thinks of you and all of the nasty vitriol they throw your way. 

And when he does, you’re going to have to learn to let go of whatever you two have right now and whatever builds in your heart until all you have left to cling to Jeongguk are the sweet memories of your life in Busan. 

Because that’s how it goes for you. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Jeongguk stumbles into his apartment and throws his backpack onto his gaming chair, quickly calculating the amount of free time he has right now. 

 He has a group match in about two hours for League of Legends and he plans on canceling on them since he had to wake up early today. Jeongguk’s sleep schedule was fucked up all summer and suddenly, waking up at 6am instead of going to bed around then was quite literally torture. 

There’s no guilt when Jeongguk texts them. He doesn’t owe his teammates anything, not like he’s joined a real league anyways. He has other priorities. 

Now that he’s a student again, his sleep schedule sort of matters. His mother would cry learning about the absolute buffoonery he was committing over summer session with his new league he met online. Playing various games until the sun was peeking through his blinds and then ordering breakfast from McDonald’s while entering another battle. Usually that would entice him but all he feels is exhaustion. 

Most of it is from lugging his heavy ass backpack around all day in the sun. Some of it is still from this weekend. There’s a reason Jeongguk isn’t an avid partier. 

Quickly, he throws whatever pre-packaged dish he bought into the microwave and changes out of his school clothes into some sweatpants and a different shirt. All part of his usual after school routine. Then he carefully takes the steaming plate out once it’s done and sets it on the counter to cool before going to the bathroom to wash his hands. 

As he walks through his hall, something presses into the soles of his feet. It’s soft but flexible and round with a hard plastic bit strung onto it that digs into his skin.

“Ouch!” He stops midway, moving his foot and staring at the mystery item. Jeongguk’s eyebrows furrow at first. 

It looks like one of Taehyung’s many charm bracelets that he buys from those street vendors in Hongdae with the cute little charms around colored string. Jeongguk has one from him ( a black string with a baby pink bunny charm that he wears every now and then). The idiot probably dropped it while singing karaoke or doing his Scarface impersonation to make Jimin laugh. Jeongguk takes his phone out to text the guy but he realizes that Taehyung hasn’t been to his apartment in a few days. 

The only other person that has been here was… you. 

He bends down to look at the bracelet. Were you wearing one that night? Your bracelets didn't look like this. They were metal, not string. Jeongguk bends at the knees and picks it up. The string is elastic and stretchy but loose enough to fit around his wrist if needed. 

Oh, it’s a hair tie. 

You must’ve dropped it when you slept over. Jeongguk turns the thing around to see the charm. The elastic itself is plain black but the charm seems to be some Sanrio character that he recognizes but cannot remember the name of.

Hello Kitty? No, he knows her and she doesn’t look like this. 

Cinnamoroll? No, that’s a puppy. This is some weird purple looking thing. 

My Melody? Maybe. 

Fuck, he doesn’t have time to worry about this. Jeongguk shoves the damn thing in his pocket, makes a mental reminder to text you about it after eating lunch, and goes to quickly wash his hands. His fingers push the door open to his bathroom. Clean white tiles, the scent diffuser smelling of white musk, and his TMNT towel drying on the rack. 

Jeongguk looks up at himself in the mirror. His eyes are sunken in and a little swollen from the lack of sleep. His stomach rumbles as he lathers his hands in his fresh cotton hand soap. 

But all he can think about is you on that night. 

Saturday Night. 

The night felt never-ending. 

Jeongguk was doing his best to get everyone in a car ride home safely after song after song on the dance floor but he was getting a little overwhelmed with all that was thrown onto him in the span of a few short minutes when Nayeon decided she wanted to go home.

Laughing, tripping, complaining about vomiting, a smell coming from some random spot that’s making someone nauseous, Jeongguk felt like a parent trying to get their kids together. His phone was glued to his hands to call cabs and type in addresses while making sure the five of you didn’t wander off into the unknown without his supervision. 

Thankfully, one of your friends managed to usher the other into a cab and Jimin was able to shove a whiny Taehyung into the one Jeongguk had ordered so now all he had left was you. 

Drunk you was something else. Stuck onto him like a second layer, arms twined tightly around his waist, mumbling about something random while stumbling over every step. Jeongguk had half a mind to just pick you up and walk to where the guy had parked but he didn’t want to make your nausea even worse by swinging you around.  

“Wait! Jeongguk, I can’t find my phone, we have to go back,” you whined, tugging on his arm with one hand. “I-I can’t–hiccup–I can’t live without my-my phone!”

You were clutching your phone in your other hand. 

He sighed. “You’re holding it,” motioning to the device pressed into your fingers. “Come on, the cab is parked there.” The yellow thing looked like something descending from the heavens while the driver finished the last of his cigarette and belched loud enough for Jeongguk to hear. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“Are you really sure?”

“Yes.” 

“Okay, I trust you.” You mumbles, hugging him close like he was a large pillow. 

The next few minutes passed by a bit quicker as you let Jeongguk help you into the car and started on your way back to his apartment since you and your friends were incapable of remembering your address. 

He leaned against the tough upholstery as the car began moving. Muscles tight and tired. Jeongguk felt the rivulets of sweat dripping down on his neck which he quickly wiped off and onto his pants, something he usually doesn't do but he’s at the state of not really giving a fuck about clothes he’s going to wash anyways. His body bobbles with a shaky turn and somehow, your limp body ends up pressed into his side, head leaning on his chest while a muffled groan leaves your painted lips.

“Ah s-sorry,” you slurred, attempting to sit up by placing a hand on Jeongguk’s mid-thigh. “I forgot to put on my belt.”  Your perfume flowed to him, a soft clean scent, maybe a bit sucrose when mixed with the scent of your shampoo. 

“Oh, the belt is finicky on that side, ma’am.” The driver informs. He meets both of your eyes in the rearview mirror. “It’s okay. Lean on your boyfriend for the rest of the drive. Should only take a few more minutes!” 

Jeongguk opens his mouth to correct but you interrupt him with a giggle. His head switches to you, mouth covered, skin dimpling. “Boyfriend.” You repeat. 

The driver plays along, most likely very confused, just like Jeongguk. “You two make a lovely couple.”

That next statement makes you giggle a little more. Jeongguk wants to know what is so funny about this cab driver assuming the two of you are dating. Do you find the hypothetical to be so insanely outrageous that it’s hilarious?  Should he even bother asking or should he let it go to save himself the pain from hearing your brazenly honest answer?

Jeongguk chooses to ignore it. He knows another turn is coming up so he raises his left arm and nudges you closer to rest on him comfortably. That same arm circles around your shoulders and the top of your head tickles the bottom of Jeongguk’s nose. You’re warm and comforting after a long night, bringing up a slew of feelings he’s been pushing down for years at this point. 

Still mumbling to yourself, you become distracted with the jewelry on Jeongguk’s hand so you don’t hear the questions that the cab driver throws your way. 

“How long have you two been dating?” He asks, turning down the late night radio station playing old hits. 

Jeongguk just goes along with it. “It’s-uh-very recent, sir.” A four hour relationship to be exact. “But I’ve known her since we were kids.” 

“How cute! My wife and I only dated for a few months before I proposed, you know,” he proclaims proudly, shoulders broadening. Jeongguk nods and fakes a grin in hopes that the conversation ends here. 

Jeongguk wants to laugh. Marriage? 

He’s never even been in a relationship before. He’s barely gone past kissing someone for longer than two minutes. With the way things are going, Jeongguk will probably live his life exactly like Steve Carell in the movie The 40-year-old Virgin only there’s no way he’ll get a happy ending. 

The cab driver laughs to himself when he sees the look on Jeongguk's face before turning the music back up. You’ve successfully knocked out on Jeongguk’s chest so you miss the faint redness creeping up his neck and to his ears but it’s not something he wants you to see either. His brain zeros in on his own pathetic state of affairs. 

He’s always prided himself on his emotional maturity for someone so young but romantically? Horrendous. 

Jeongguk has always stood behind the belief that he simply isn’t meant to be in a relationship with anyone. Sometimes he can be too shy, too closed off, and people don’t gravitate towards people like that. They want someone who can be openly affectionate after a few conversations and Jeongguk simply isn’t the type. The only reason why he has friends like Taehyung and Jimin is because they made an effort to get to know him at his pace. It’s the same with you, who was older and a girl but you still made the effort to invite Jeongguk to watch Barbie movies or search for coins to get the cheapest candy at the convenience store. People usually don’t care after he brushes them off a few times but you did, Taehyung and Jimin did, and Jeongguk gets all fuzzy inside. 

Would he ever find someone like you three again? Would he ever be so lucky? Probably not. 

He looks over at your face smushed against his chest, playing with the zipper of his jacket. You’re so pretty, always have been, always will be, like a rare flower. Even after all of this time, he’s so taken aback by how effortlessly beautiful you are; on the outside and the inside. The way your hair falls delicately over your face, cheeks puffed, lips puckered; the way your shirt gives you an angelic look and your necklace lies perfectly in the middle of your collarbones. 

It’s enticing. Jeongguk can’t take his eyes off of you. He never could. 

Fuck, this random reunion might do more harm than good if Jeongguk doesn’t learn to control himself. This isn’t the time to reawaken old feelings that he pushed down for a good reason. 

Once the cab stops in front of his apartment building, Jeongguk pays him and then helps you out of the car. Body limp and slippery like slinky. 

“No, I forgot how to walk,” you mumbled, leaning against one of the pillars outside the building to keep yourself up straight. “Can’t I just sleep here? It’s comfortable.”

“That’s a concrete pillar.” Jeongguk runs a hand through his slightly dampened hair. “Come on, there’s an elevator and I don’t live too high up. You’ll sleep better on my bed.” 

A pout grows stronger on your face, a few streaks of something black collecting in the corner of your eyes and your lipstick is smeared a little but Jeongguk still finds you so put together and exquisite. Still like that rare flower on top of a mountain peak; beautiful yet impossible to reach. 

“Fine.” You peel yourself off the pillar. “But if you’re lying to me, I’m gonna pinch those cute little cheeks right off your face.” Squishing his flesh momentarily before dropping your hands, Jeongguk blinks a few times in shock. 

Focus, Jeon. She needs to rest. 

Getting you inside is easier than he thought. The promise of the elevator and a warm bed with some water turned you much more docile. But you’re still enamored by his rings which you slip on and off his fingers as the elevator beeps. Then, Jeongguk slips off your shoes and tells you to wait by the kitchen counter while he rifles through his things, handing you a shirt and directing you to the bathroom.

A loud sigh escapes his lips once he’s all alone. Jeongguk has about ten seconds to change himself. He’s been in these tight jeans that squeeze his legs like anything. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone so hard in the gym over the summer. Now most of his old clothes don’t fit him as well as they used to. 

Quickly, he throws on his pajamas just as you emerge from the bathroom and hum a random song from tonight. 

Then, he helps you into bed, groaning out at the soreness in his muscles from all of the lifting he’s been doing today.  You don’t fight back too much, clearly worn out, so you sink into the soft padding easily like a little kitten. He throws the blankets over you, does a quick check to see if you’re okay, and then gets into his own makeshift bed made out of a thin mattress and a set of sheets. 

It’s not nearly as comfortable as his own bed and his back might be mad at him tomorrow but it’ll do for now. 

Just as Jeongguk is beginning to fall into deep sleep, he hears you rusting around, mumbling under your breath about something. Your hands push yourself up on your elbows. For a second, he thinks you’re going to throw up so he gets up quickly and makes his way to his kitchen to grab a plastic bag. 

But you start speaking louder. 

“I can’t believe you, Seojoon.” Your hair sticks out from every corner as you flop back down, lips bloated and pouty, slapping around the comforter and pointing to no one. “I hate you.” Jeongguk’s eyebrow raises, pausing in the middle of his kitchen to decipher what on earth you are talking about.

Clearly, you’re having a nightmare. Jeongguk takes quiet steps back to his spot on the floor in order to avoid that one squeaky 

“You cheated on me with Somin, didn’t you? You bastard. You told me you loved me,” whining, your body twists around. “Why else would I let you fuck me?” 

Jeongguk reels his brain back to stop the curious sympathy right there. He doesn’t want to prod further into this bad dream involving a fight with an ex of some sort. It’s none of his business and clearly this wasn’t meant for him to hear. All he does care about is if you’re going to vomit or not. 

He calls your name. “Are you okay?” Jeongguk whispers. 

You don’t respond. Instead, your face twists in discomfort as you continue to mumble into his mattress and writhe around. 

Jeongguk grows increasingly worried. He doesn’t want you to choke or anything of the sort while he’s deep in REM. Slowly, he gets down on his knees to get a closer look at you tossing and turning.  

“It hurts so much.” 

Jeongguk gently places a hand on your arm, saying your name softly so you don’t wake up. “Hey, you okay? Do you want water?” You twist away from his touch at first. “It’s me, it’s me, it’s Jeongguk,” reminding you as your lids barely part. He thinks you register him, that maybe you’re somewhat awake right now as you begin to curl forward. 

But then your hands clasp Jeongguk’s arms tightly, restricting his every move. 

“You’re going to leave me, aren’t you?” Your voice slurs, the tip of your nose meeting the fabric of his shirt, fingers digging into the flesh hard enough to leave indents. 

Nothing but confusion clouds Jeongguk’s brain. What are you talking about? 

“You told me you loved me. What? Don’t you want me anymore?”  

Tightening around him, you bury your face into his neck again. Your arms begin to raise, wrap around his shoulders to bring your body closer to his rigid frame. Jeongguk feels wetness from your eyes begin to drip onto his skin, dampening his shirt.

“Just do it then. Just leave me. No one ever sticks around anyways. Guys always leave me the moment something new comes along. Every single one,” you enunciate, vibrating into him, crying softly. “You don’t even care about how much you hurt me. No one cares.” 

Jeongguk is paralyzed under your hold as your tears start to roll down. Your sobs are loud and erratic and painful, as if all of this hurt has building until you eventually couldn’t hold onto it anymore. That it took alcohol and a long night to wedge it out of you. 

It’s contradictory; holding him tight and telling him to leave you.

But he doesn’t push you away and he doesn't let go. Jeongguk lets you grip onto him for safety because he’s terrified that removing his touch could break you even further. 

 He doesn’t know what is happening in your dream to make you behave like this, he doesn’t know what made the previous glee that used to make your eyes bright fade away after all of those years passed. He wants to ask but he doesn't know how. 

All Jeongguk does know is that you were different. Not in a good or bad way but you were simply different.  The happy go lucky little girl grew into a hardened adult. When he looked into your eyes tonight, he saw traces of all of this hurt woven alongside other emotions. Like a heavy blanket that only pushes you further and further deeper into a more melancholic way of being. 

And as he helps you back into bed once your tears stop falling, rubs some cooling Vicks rub on your forehead and pulls the cover close, his brain turns into an echo chamber until he tires himself to sleep. 

No one ever sticks around anyways. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

A week has passed and while you thought you could gain control of your physics plight, it seems like the universe has some different plans. 

The tutor that you selected, a second year girl who is majoring in electrical engineering, has been a total flake. You exchanged numbers with her on Thursday during Week 1 and she fed you all of these sweet words about wanting to become friends and teaching in a friendly, kind way which immediately softened you. The last thing you wanted was for some dickhead to call you stupid because you didn’t understand the concept the first time. 

She said she’d meet you at the library that Saturday at 3pm to come up with a schedule and she never showed. So you rescheduled to Sunday, then Monday, then Tuesday and now you just feel like an idiot. 

There’s always some excuse. Either she slept in or she’s not feeling well or her roommate needs her but you’re losing your damn mind right now. 

“You’re not paying her, right?” Jeongyeon asks, rummaging through Nayeon’s bag for something. “Maybe she’s a scammer?” 

You give her a dull look. “She doesn’t get paid by me. I think the university does or she’s earning credits, I don’t know. But I’m fucked for the big quiz we have next week.” 

It’s only Week 2 but the material is daunting and frankly put, you’ll shit your pants the day of the actual quiz and whatever date the final is. This is all so unfamiliar to you and, unlike other subjects, you struggle to find that area where the content becomes interesting. All you feel is terror. 

Nayeon, ever the optimist, tries to lift your spirit. 

“Girl, that shit is next week. Do yourself a favor, find a new tutor, study a whole bunch and then ace the quiz. There’s no point in waiting for this random girl to start caring. It’s your grade after all.” 

“Yeah but I just don’t want someone that’s going to be an asshole when I get things wrong.” 

People love to dumb you down, especially those in your own department. Obviously your promiscuity directly correlates to your intelligence. Girls can only be slutty or smart, right? There exists no gray area. But you know yourself. Even if science and math aren’t your thing, you’re a smart person. You got into a top performing university without any fancy prep classes or coaches and you are consistently pulling good grades each semester. That speaks more about you and your capabilities than anything else. 

“I’ve heard this one guy is pretty good. He’s a teacher’s assistant pursuing his masters degree here.” Nayeon takes her phone out to look him up. “My friend was in his Chemistry group sessions and he was apparently super helpful and kind. I think he does physics too. Let me ask her.” 

You perk up. It would be perfect if you could land a tutoring session with this TA instead of your missing student tutor. Even if it’s a group setting

“Let me know what your friend says.” You look away from the two in front of you for a split second as your attention was cut by your phone vibrating on the table. Flipping it over you see a text from your flakey tutor herself. 

Reading it over, you roll your eyes heavily. Another lame excuse about her skipping out on your tutoring session because she scheduled a meeting with her professor at the exact same time by accident. You ignore it and plan to respond with a passive aggressive rejection to end all of this bullshit. Out of the corner of your eye, you see Jeongyeon and Nayeon try to discreetly take their edibles before digging into the food you all ordered. 

Steaming plates of rice, kimchi, stir-fry and meats along with a few fried foods makes your stomach grumble. You flip your phone back over and grab your chopsticks, changing the subject quickly. 

“What are you guys doing after this?” You ask. The edibles are going to last a while and considering a weed high has different stages, there’s no way these two are going to be eating the entire time. Munchies aren’t that strong. 

Jeongyeon wiggles her eyebrows suggestively to her girlfriend, cheeks full like a chipmunk, and Nayeon turns beet red. Enough context for you to figure it out, breaking into a fit of giggles. 

“Ohhh, I see.” 

Good for them. If only you were getting laid too. Lately, your vibrator has been your best friend late at night when your mind wanders. 

With thirteen settings, it’s safe to say you won’t be getting bored for a while. 

However, you’ve never done it while being high. You’d want to do it with someone you’re comfortable with, maybe a consistent trustworthy hookup and only if consent is 100% enthusiastic, but you can only imagine how heightened the senses feel. 

Getting lost in thought, you cross one of your legs over the other, thinking about the haziness parting as you ride them slow but deep. Your hands will grip their shoulders, nails digging into the tight flesh as the drag of their length is delicious inside of you. Moaning out loud at how full you feel, watching the sharp bone of his jaw unhinge with pleasure, thick silver earrings brushing your skin, dark hair between your fingers as you increase the pace and drive the two of  you to the tipping point. 

It sounds… so satisfying. 

Fuck, okay, you need to get some control over yourself. It must be the week before your period or something because your mind has been cooking up these scenarios that demand attention. 

And most of the time it involves some familiar looking yet faceless character giving you the best dick you’ve ever gotten. It’s really messing with you. 

How the fuck are you going to be Miss Celibacy if your ass can’t go a week without sex? 

You stab your chopsticks into a large chunk of tofu and stare at the red sauce over the surface before shoving it into your mouth in hopes of distracting you when an angry recognizable voice flutters past your table. 

“..and this bitch has the nerve to look me dead in the eye and go, ‘well, you just lost yourself a customer,’ as if any of us give a shit. Like ma’am I get paid minimum wage to make watery coffee and reheat cardboard sandwiches regardless of your purchase, please leave me alone and die.” 

Turning your head, you see tufts of blonde and shiny boots combined with the soft smell of peaches: Jimin. 

And right next to him is none other than Jeon Jeongguk who is chuckling at Jimin’s whiny Karen tone to describe his awful customer. His cheeks creasing, eyes getting shinier and cute. 

You can feel your body thrum with excitement. 

“Hey guys!” Nayeon waves, setting down her utensils. They turn to look at her, then Jeongyeon and then at you, bowing while greeting. Your shoulders cave in when you feel Jeongguk’s stare on your face. “Do you wanna eat lunch with us?”

“Hell yeah. Is the menu today good?” Jimin asks.  

Jeongyeon, with a mouth full of food, nods excitedly which is perfect. Jeongguk and Jimin laugh, motioning to the lunch line quickly so you save the table and go back to eating your lunches. Your brain demands another curious glance at Jeongguk’s retreating figure. 

What? He looks really fucking sexy from the back. 

Ever since the first day of school,  you agreed to ride the subway back with Jeongguk on the days you end class at the same time and you've come to the conclusion that he is quite literally the hottest guy on the entire planet. Hotter than any other guy you’ve wasted your time with. 

He has the most boyish features but his body is perfectly crafted. Wide shoulders, defined thighs and arms, a super sculpted back, but not overly burly where he looks fake. Like an exquisite marble statue from the Hellenistic period. 

Yes, yes, you know it’s sort of weird considering the fact that you’ve  watched grow up from a cute kid to an emo pre-teen and now jumping to the absolute meal he is now but it’s just some simple attraction. 

One that rears its ugly head whenever Jeongguk laughs or smiles or pushes his hair out of his face or tongues his cheek or does literally anything. 

There are a million reasons why this could’ve happened. From all the time spent together from the subway rides to morning coffee and dinner one night (with all of your friends but it still counts) or you’re thinking this silly little attraction might be a combination of a lack of dick, PMS and pure loneliness. Either way, it isn’t anything major. 

Finding a way to ignore it is the next step.

Nayeon nudges you. “Remind me again, how exactly are you two childhood friends?” Her cheeks puffed with food.  

“Oh, I lived in Busan until high school and he was my neighbor. I would always hang out with him and his two sisters.” You explain, taking another bite of soft sticky rice. 

“Older sisters?”

You shake your head. “One older and one younger.” Wondering why this is relevant. 

But then, Nayeon and Jeongyeon make eye contact, eyebrows raising like they do when they know something you don’t. Meanwhile, you’re just sitting there like an idiot, waiting for context with your chopsticks held halfway up to your mouth. 

“Green flag. Bright green fucking flag.” Jeongyeon whistles. 

“Huh?”  Your chopsticks barely prod your lip without your mouth opening. Did the edibles pull out some secret stoner knowledge that you aren’t aware of? 

Jeongyeon decides to explain it to you. “According to the girlies on tiktok, men with older sisters are usually green flags. Something about learning gentleness and patience and respecting women from an early age or whatever. I don’t get you heteros so it went past my head.” 

You’re puzzled at first. These men all have mothers, they came from a woman who nursed them and cared for them until now, why is having an older sister so different?

But then it hits you. 

The way Jeongguk treats you is so different from the way most guys treat you. There’s no domineering masculinity coming from him in heavy waves trying to overpower you. It’s softer. He’s so approachable and gentle. He never touches you unless you’re okay with it, he’s always polite and kind and sweet. He never makes you feel stupid or inadequate, doesn’t talk over you, nothing of the sort. 

And while it’s the barest of minimum, Jeongguk makes you feel safe. 

Even Jeongyeon and Nayeon, who are often not comfortable around straight men, found him to be a delight. That has to mean something. 

“I…I never thought about it,” your voice goes a little husky. Tucking a stray piece of hair out of your face as your cheeks get a little warm. “He’s just a good guy, you know.  Jihyo, his sister, always kept him in check. I guess, it’s a good thing.” 

Kids lead by example. Growing up in an environment where the adults around you were treating women poorly or pushing people around will appear in relationships. But Jeongguk was the opposite. 

“It is. Think about it,” Nayeon leans in, “after all of those duds you’ve been with, he’s just what you’re looking for.” 

The way your heartbeat accelerates is not a good sign. 

Your chin pulls back, like you’re leaning away from the possibility. “What? I’m not gonna date him, Nayeon,” you groan under your breath. 

“Why not?” She whines, slamming her fists onto the table, then laughing slightly at the indents left on his skin. 

“Because he has no interest in dating right now,” you grumble, remembering his words from his birthday. 

Even if you did try to pursue it, there’s a high chance Jeongguk might only see you as his older sister’s friend. Which is how it should be! It’s best that you let this silly little crush die like a lonely star and maintain your promise of making this year all about you. Your bullet vibrator is going to have to help you whenever you get the urge but besides that, no sex, no dates, no boys, nothing of the sort. 

“Did he tell you that?” Jeongyeon asks, eyes glazing over. The weed must be hitting pretty hard. You’re surprised they can keep up with this conversation. 

Then again, they’re probably used to it. 

You nod. “At the club.” Snorting, your eyes briefly flick to the other side of the cafeteria where a certain someone sits. “Juri offered him her number and he said he wasn’t going to go out with her.”

That seems to wake the brunette up. “Fuck, really? I wish I saw that,” she pouts, leaning on the blonde curled up next to her. Cute. 

“Well, he didn’t say no since you two started fucking hazing him the moment you saw him,” you scold. “But he told me he was going to reject her if/when he saw her in person.” 

“Hey! You were the one who directed us to shoo away any man that came up to you that night.” Nayeon defends. “We were just listening to instructions when we came over to stop you two.” 

Jeongyeon joins in. “Yeah, and he looked like your usual type so we assumed we should pull you away. How were we supposed to know the super hot guy you were talking to was a friend?” 

You open your mouth to quip back when you feel a presence behind you, casting a shadow on your back. The lingering smell of cologne and food dance in the air. A wave of despair crashes inside of your stomach and you really wish a black hole would open up right under to sweep you away from this hellscape. 

“What are you guys talking about?” 

Taehyung Jimin split to sit on the bench between Nayeon and Jeongyeon’s bench and yours. It's a square shaped table with four benches on each side, so enough space for two people per bench. The two couples share a bench while you and Jeongguk get your own, although he still sits closer to you on his own bench. 

“U-uh–” Jeongyeon stutters, looking at you with wide eyes for help. 

“Oh, just some guy,” you fake a laugh, flicking some hair out of your face and turning to food so you can shovel it in your face like a starved person. 

Taehyung laughs a little. “Just some guy? Jeongyeon was saying that he’s super hot and your type.” He’s being cheeky, like he always is, but this time, you can’t engage in a back and forth with him. 

Because the hot sweet guy you were talking about is sitting right next to you. 

Your brain urges you to take a peek. Jeongguk is dressed like he usually is; a pair of baggy cargo pants and a light gray sweatshirt, and he always looks attractive. The fall wind is allowing you to smell the scent of his flowery shampoo in combination with his usual perfume and it’s such an addictive scent that you never want to forget. 

But you can’t think about that. You should be thinking of a lie. 

“I’ve always wondered if you had a boyfriend,” Jimin asks, resting his chin on his palm. A sly smirk forms on his lips, just as cheeky as his own boyfriend’s. “I asked Jeongguk and he said he didn’t know.” 

Fuck. You look at him now, hair swishing with your movements. The boy is eating without a care and shrugs in response. “You never mentioned one.” 

Yeah, because there isn’t one. You’ve never had a boyfriend in your life. 

Sweat beads your palms. There has to be some guy that you can just drop in here for the sake of the conversation. Some random guy out in this cafeteria that is insignificant enough to never cross paths with you again so you can nip this conversation right in the bud. 

You scan the place. There are a few guys you’ve already hooked up with so that’s a no. Some groups of first-years and that’s also a no (you’re not trying to catch a case here). 

For fucks’ sake, are the only hot guys at this school Jimin, Taehyung and Jeongguk? 

“Uh–”

Nayeon swoops in like a guardian angel. “We were talking about the Physics and Chem tutor. I don’t know if you guys have had him but, Kim Namjoon?” 

Right, the tutor Nayeon’s friend went to. The really nice one. 

She sends you a hidden wink from her end of the table and you respond with a quick finger heart. Bless her soul. 

“Joon? Oh, he is so hot.” Jimin, to your surprise, bounces at the chance to thirst over this supposed sexy tutor that you’ve never seen before. His eyes roll back at the sheer thought of him, leaning closer to gossip.  “He was our tutors for Physics 2 last semester and wow.” He shakes his head, marveled at such a man. “He could top me and then never speak to me again and I���d be okay with that.”

Now you’re curious about this Kim Namjoon. Just how hot is he? 

Taehyung jumps in. “I agree, however, “he holds a single finger up, “I would also like to add Kim Seokjin, the bio tutor.” His eyes roll back dramatically. “Dream threesome. Foursome if you want babe,” he nudges the blonde who blushes in agreement.  

Then the entire table breaks out into giggles and with a little coaxing, Nayeon and Jeongyeon reveal their ideal threesomes which you already know the answers to (Han Sohee and Irene from Red Velvet) since they share the same girl crushes. Then you answer begrudgingly which are the two male leads from Business Proposal because, obviously. However, the person next to you is rather quiet. You lightly nudge his side with your elbow to check in with him. 

“You okay?” You’re asking just in case Jeongguk isn’t comfortable with sex talk. 

But he nods. “Sorry, I’m still listening. Just really hungry. All I had for breakfast was a protein shake.” Jeongguk inhales the glazed stir-fry chicken on his plate, a dot of sauce landing on the corner of his lip and, oh my, do you want to wipe it off for him because he is so cute with his bready baby cheeks all puffed with food.

“Come on,” you pretend to scold. “Breakfast is the most important meal of the day.” Jeongguk’s mom would weep if she heard about him skipping. 

He waves it off but you can see his ears get a little red. “Yeah, yeah, I know but I slept through my alarms so I was in a rush this morning. Almost pulled a Taehyung and crashed into the wall while trying to run out.” 

You laugh at the image. Taehyung can be a bit of a klutz. At the club on Jeongguk’s birthday, he almost crashed into an entire table because he was dizzy from doing tiktok dances all night. Your head throws back slightly, eyes fluttering shut, and when you open them again, Jeongguk’s eyes are on you. 

They feel explorative, searching every inch of your face like he doesn’t want to forget a single inch, lips quirked up in a half smile but it’s Jeongguk’s eyes that really take you aback. His eyes have never looked at you like that before. 

As if something is swimming deep in those pools of glimmery chocolate brown; something warm and sweet in there. 

“Sorry,” he blushes, turning his eyes away from your face and back onto his food. Your heart stops for a moment, looking down at his pillowy soft lips. They’re right there, moisturized and pink. All you really have to do is lean in. 

And with the way Jeongguk looks at you, you really fucking want to. 

He’s so beautiful. So pretty and sweet and kind and unlike any other guy you’ve ever wanted. The urge to go for him is almost primal that you can barely hold yourself back. 

Your friends are like little angels in your head, goading you on to just do it. Just kiss him and take him and then drop it. Satiate that part of you that needs sex, that needs to fucked just right, and then move on. It would be different than usual because Jeongguk is different from the previous men so you wouldn’t get hurt. 

Although… 

He’s Jihyo’s little brother, the boy who needed to hold your hand when crossing the street, the kid always on his skateboard or his nose buried in a manga. Would it tarnish everything that you find familiar to just go for it? Would years of a perfectly healthy happy friendship go right down the drain? 

But Jeongguk is an adult, only one year younger than you. There isn’t anything wrong. 

Ideally, you could just lean in and–

“Jeongguk, what was the name of the blue penguin in the Backyardigans? I really need to know like now,” Taehyung urges, breaking your train of thought immediately. 

You fly back as if the contact singes you, curling into yourself and placing a single hand on the surface of the table to catch your breath. You completely forgot about the whole conversation going on around you when you stared into Jeongguk’s pretty deep eyes. 

It’s clear as day to you. With the man he’s become, it’s obvious that you are definitely into Jeon Jeongguk. 

“Huh?” He rasps, slightly out of it too. “Oh-uh, Pablo. He’s the one that sings International Super Spy.” 

“Pablo! I knew it.” Taehyung snaps his fingers loudly. “How do you still remember that?”

Jeongguk awkwardly forces out a laugh. “We watched a few episodes together this summer, remember?” 

“Right. Pretty sure I was blazed out of my mind, though.” 

Jimin nudges him. “Babe, when are you not blazed out of your mind?”

“When I’m with you, baby boy,” he coos.  

The boy next to you groans out loud. “Ugh, you two are so nasty.” His voice is muffled by food but he still gets his point across. You bite back a giggle at the disgust on his face. 

“Jeongguk, you can’t be mean to us. It’s homophobic.” Jimin points a chopstick in his direction but Jeongguk simply shrugs and continues eating without a care. 

Jeongyeon pipes up. “I agree. That applies to you too, Queen of the Straights.” 

The direct hit has pulled you out of your internal panic, reminding you to contribute to the conversation like friends usually do. Your eyes dull a little. “Yes ma’am.”  Faking a soldier’s salute to make everyone laugh. 

You’re glad that everyone else seems oblivious to what just happened because you know that had the two of you been alone, the situation would be entirely different. 

And you don’t know if that outcome would be any better than this one. 

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

On Friday, classes get canceled. 

Thankfully, it’s nothing bad. All of the buildings are getting fumigated to keep out any infestations that might’ve crawled in over the summer since someone thought they saw a cockroach in the Arts building so all the professors decide to post the lecture information online or have virtual class if necessary. 

You had no complaints with this change. Attend class in your pajamas, in your bed, and have the option to fall asleep without getting caught? Sounds perfect. 

Although, no in person class means you don’t get to speak to your Physics professor to complain about your flakey tutor and find a new one which you were banking on completing before you had your huge quiz next week. So, once your final lecture ends, you begin to worry about how the hell you’re going to resolve that problem. 

Sure, you could easily self-review with the resources online but you’ve always learned more theoretical concepts with someone explaining it to you in person so you could ask questions immediately. 

You shut your laptop off and place it on top of the long coffee table you use as a desk. An open notebook with notes sits on your right, pen clicked off, highlighters placed neatly in your pencil case, and the silence of your studio apartment almost starts ringing in your ears. 

Who do you know that can tutor you for physics? 

Nayeon sent you the email address for the Namjoon person whom everyone is vouching for. You asked this morning  if he had any space in his tutoring session but he responded saying that he does but he isn’t having a session today and he’s happy to answer any questions over email or through a video call individually. 

You genuinely consider that option until you look up at the decor in your room that Namjoon has no chance of missing during the video call. 

Now, you wouldn’t call yourself a strange person, if anything you are a well-adjusted member of society,  but the pieces chosen to hang up in your studio apartment would raise some eyebrows. From the poster of Bibble from Barbie saying Gaslight, Gatekeep, Girlboss to the concerning amount of Sanrio plushies you’ve collected over the years to all of the cat beds and toys thrown around the place and the impressive array of diffusers in every corner, your apartment is an amalgamation of you. 

And you don’t know if this Namjoon guy is going to take one look at the place and peg you down as a fucking weirdo or not. You want to make a good impression on him. 

So, you wrack your brain for a different option to help you just before your quiz next week. 

Someone. Anyone. 

Your worst bet is to walk over to the nearest cram school and ask someone there but those are all high school students and you’d die of embarrassment. 

Then you remember, Jeongguk took Physics last semester. Maybe he can help. 

Quickly, you pat around your duvet for your phone. It’s lying screen down a few inches away from Snowball’s sleeping body. Carefully, you grab the device, scroll through your contacts and call him with fiery hope coursing through you thickly.

“Hello?” His voice drips from the speakers like flowing water and you want to drown in it. 

“Hey, are you done with online classes?” You ask, on your back and knees to your chest in a very suggestive position. 

“Uh almost,” Jeongguk trails off. “Why? What’s up?”

You hold back a goofy smile at his distracted tone. “You know how you said you took physics last semester?” He hums in response. “Do you think you could explain a few concepts to me? I have this big ass quiz soon and I don’t wanna bomb it.” 

You wait. The pessimist in you expects a rejection, a flat out ‘I’d rather die than waste my time explaining physics concepts to a 21-year-old,’ but the optimist is waiting with a bouquet of roses on the other side. 

This is Jeongguk we’re talking about. Sweet, sweet, lovely Jeongguk. Not that dickhead that sits in the back of lecture and watches hentai on his phone. 

“Oh. I’m not the best teacher.”

Both the optimist and pessimist in your head are waiting on the balls of their feet. That wasn’t the answer you were expecting but it's an answer you aren’t hurt by! 

“That’s okay! I just need someone to go over it with me. As long as you aren’t mean, I won’t complain.” You want to appeal to Jeongguk in a way that’ll get the guy to bend a little and what other way to a man’s heart than food? “I’ll repay you with dinner,” you sing-song.  

There’s a brief pause, like he’s considering the option while noises mumble in the background. “What’s the menu?” Jeongguk asks. 

God, he’s so cute. Your cheeks are raised so high, they might as well curl into your eyes. 

“I live near a great fried chicken place.” Works out perfectly because you’ve been craving something fried for a while now. Must be your period. 

Jeongguk barely waits a second. “Sold. Text me the time and your address.”

You cut the call after bidding each other goodbye. A giddy squeal almost bubbles out of your lips until you realize that you have about two hours until Jeongguk is in your apartment for the first time ever. 

Alone. No friends. No family. 

Just you and this super hot guy. 

No interruptions. Complete privacy. 

You launch out of bed so fast that you wake up Snowball from her slumber. Quickly, you shower and you take your time to scrub your body with lilac body wash and shave. Usually Friday is your pamper day so this isn’t anything out of the ordinary. Then you wash your greasy hair to rid yourself of the conditioning hair mask you slathered on this morning. After your shower, you walk around your studio with your fluffy bathrobe and microfiber towel on to find the perfect outfit. 

It has to be comfortable but cute. Even though Jeongguk is just tutoring you and there is a high chance that this meeting will only be platonic, you still want to look your best. 

Rummaging through your dresser drawers and closet, your eyes immediately fall to your collection of baby-doll lingerie sets in various colors. An expensive purchase, but you’ve always enjoyed dressing up every now and then. Your fingers dance across the itchy lace, thinking about which one Jeongguk would like? Lilac? Baby pink? Maybe the nude one with the intricate designs on the cups? Or how about the blood red and black one that looks like it came straight out of a BDSM film? 

Nah, that’s too much. You go for yoga pants, a plain t-shirt and a quarter-zip with your university’s logo on it. Then selecting a lacy pair of underwear and no bra. You hate wearing one at home anyways. 

The clothes lay spread out on your bed as you begin your post shower process of lotion, deodorant, a soft scented body spray and then your clothes. Then, you dry your hair and then begin cleaning up the little clutter you have over the place. You’re a neat person, which others find shocking, so there isn’t much to do. You dry some dishes on the rack, reset your bedsheets, light up a candle, empty the litter box, and eat a mediocre salad as you wait for the clock to strike 5pm. 

Time moves at a microscopic pace, probably because you’re staring at the moving hands in hopes that you’ll blink at the pretty boy will be standing at your doorstep. You should focus on something else in the meantime. So you take out your physics notebook and begin reviewing. 

Next week’s quiz will be on a little under ½  of the energy chapter covered so far. You’ve been paying attention, taking diligent notes, and doing pretty good on the homework but the topics still freak you out.  

It’s a STEM thing. You haven’t taken one since your first year so you’re rusty and the material seems extra intimidating. Unlike Jeongguk, Jimin and Taehyung, you don’t study this on a daily basis. 

But there’s nothing you won’t be able to conquer without working. 

About halfway through your revision is when the buzz of your home intercom rings, shocking you out of your thoughts. Slowly, you get up, dusting the invisible particles off your clothes and going over to the machine to let Jeongguk in. There’s a short waiting game, lasting about two minutes, as he probably comes up from the lobby and reaches your door before knocking. 

You’re putting a kettle of water to boil as the sound resonates and you rush over to open the door with a bright smile on your lips. 

“Hey,” you breathe out, taking in the sights before you. 

As always, Jeongguk looks perfect in a gray long-sleeve t-shirt and black sweats. Like the comfy soft boyfriend of your dreams. His hair is a little damp at the ends but it waves a little past his eyebrow as it grows and his backpack straps pull his shirt wide to show off his broad shoulders. 

Fucking hell, you think. You want to eat him up and ruin him. 

Swallowing shakily, you step aside as he grins. “Hi.” Jeongguk’s voice is low, like usual, but a little buttery and less hoarse. Almost sexy. 

Basically, it’s doing things to you. 

Carefully, you lead him inside where Jeongguk takes his shoes off and stares at the place with those big eyes of his. You wonder what goes through that pretty head of his as he stares at the various stuffed animals and the wall art. But, instead, he lands on the Kirby shaped cat-bed at the base of your bed holding Snowball’s half-asleep body. 

“You have a cat?” He asks. 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you.” You walk in front of the thing, squatting down in front of the entrance to hold a hand out for the ball of fluff to sniff. Snowball headbutts you immediately. “You didn’t inherit your dad’s allergy, did you?” 

That would crush you. As much as you like dogs, you’re a cat person at heart or a Snowball person at heart. 

Jeongguk shakes his head no. Then he comes to the same spot you are and gets on his knees on the opposite side of you, watching with curious doe eyes. Slowly, Jeongguk extends his hand out, thinking Snowball needs time to get used to him like some cats do, but no. She’s friendly and extroverted, getting out of the bed to welcome Jeongguk with an excited soft-tone trill.

It’s heartwarming watching her melt into his touch, purring and climbing into Jeongguk’s lap the more he pets her on all of her favorite spots. 

“You’ve been accepted,” you muse, crossing your arms over your stomach in hopes that by pushing on it, that buttery, gooey, sugary feeling will go away. 

“Yay,” Jeongguk cheers cutely. “What’s her name?” 

“Snowball.” 

“Snowball!” He coos. “You are the cutest ever!” Jeongguk leans down to tell her, slight aegyo in his tone. The rounded tip of his nose brushes the top of her small head

No, you are, is what zings through your mind but don’t tell Snowball you thought that.  

Since your knees start screaming at you to get up, you leave Jeongguk and Snowball to go check on the kettle which is at its very end of boiling the water. You get up on your tiptoes to pull out two white mugs and before grabbing your go-to peach green tea packets, you ask Jeongguk. 

“Tea or coffee?” 

Jeongguk looks up from Snowball curled on his lap, the body of a bright grin on his lips. “Coffee please.” When you nod, he goes back to petting the white feline without another care. 

His adorable politeness removes any nerves you had or any prior sheepishness from the way your studio apartment looks. Small and decorated with all of your interests. The only people that have ever been here are your mother, Jeongyeon and Nayeon. Hookups were always at their place or a hotel so it’s a little odd to see Jeongguk seated on your floor. 

But at the same time, it’s Jeongguk on your floor so you aren’t that worried. 

Pouring the mugs with steaming hot water, you grab a packet of instant coffee while your tea bag steeps and you make Jeongguk his coffee. In the meantime, he’s seated by your coffee table/desk, shrugging his backpack off while Snowball sits beside Jeongguk diligently. Like she’s protecting him from whatever she thinks is going to attack him. 

“I like your place,” Jeongguk says, shocking you for a moment. “It’s very,” he trails off. “Very you.” 

You give him a dulled look over your shoulder. “What do you mean by that?”

“You know, it’s got all of your favorite things.” His chin gestures to the Sanrio stuffed animals, the various figurines from all of your favorite animes, the vintage posters, the bunny paraphernalia, all of your favorite things, like Jeongguk said. 

You turn, pressing the small of your back to the cold counter behind you. “Your place is nice too,” you add for the sake of returning the compliment, although it is true. 

Jeongguk shakes his head. “Yeah but, my landlord is a gaping asshole and hates the idea of posters and paintings since he’s scared it’ll fuck up the wall. It’s nice but it feels dead,” he gives your apartment one more look, “but yours has some personality, you know? I’m kinda jealous.” 

His smile is genuine, sweet and kind. You find yourself melting from the sheer sight of it but you hold yourself back. Don’t want to look too whipped.  

Exhaling with some laughter, you start bringing the mugs over along with some biscuits since it’s tea time. “The first apartment we had when we moved here was like that. The landlord didn’t even let my mom change the curtains even though the ones that came with the place had stains all over it.” Jeongguk grimaces at the thought. “But Mrs. Jeong from our Busan apartment was so nice.” 

What a sweet woman. She would often come down whenever she heard one of them had a cold or if there was a birthday and she was never harsh when your mother’s checks bounced or if she needed an extra day because she hadn’t gotten paid yet. She was the reason you thought all landlords had some semblance of empathy but no. 

“We lived there for about fifteen years. It sucked having to leave.” 

“Oh my god, I didn’t know you moved out!” You gasp, shifting yourself to face him completely. “Is your current place closer to the bakery?”

“No, it’s actually farther but it’s closer to the center of Busan so public transport is good. Plus, noona got a car so it’s not too bad.” 

You sigh. Fuck, you miss Busan so much. Even hearing the slight satoori in Jeongguk’s voice does wonders for your nostalgia as yours only peeks out when you’re angry thanks to teasing from all of the Seoul elitists. 

The beach, the food, the fresh air, the streets, you miss all of it. Such a simple time. You’ve always dreamed of settling there once you’ve figured your life out. It was your end goal. 

“I wanna hear more but let’s get physics out of the way first,” you tap your notebook twice and Jeongguk moves to his backpack to take some items out to start the tutoring session. 

And, to no one’s shock, Jeongguk is actually a really great tutor. 

He’s patient with you and doesn’t mind giving you constant encouragement when you get a bit insecure halfway through a word problem. On concepts you’re unsure about, Jeongguk explains them in the simplest way possible without getting haughty. No outbursts if you make the same mistake two times in a row, he never once calls you stupid or says you’re wasting his time. Jeongguk gently coaches you until you try to solve some problems on your own from the textbook without his help and he checks them afterwards, telling you what you did right and wrong.   

Quite literally, this is all that you wanted. 

Someone to answer your questions, explain a few concepts, and walk you through a couple of examples without questioning your smarts as a whole. 

It’s nice. You feel safe and even better, you feel actually prepared for the quiz which is the opposite of how you felt this morning. You aren’t even worried about it at all. 

After clearing through the sample quiz and practice problems easily in a matter of about 2 ½ hours, you two are all done tutoring. Which means freedom for the rest of the night. 

Quickly, you connect your laptop to the small TV mounted on the wall and put on Love Island since neither of you have watched it. Jeongguk is rather curious about it since Jimin and Taehyung won’t stop talking about it,  so you decide to jump into the newest season with him while leaning against your bed and pulling up the menu for the fried chicken place.

“I’m getting honey garlic,” you tell him when you hand him your phone.  

“Then, I’ll do the spicy cheese one.” He leans closer instead of taking the device and you really wish he didn’t because your body reacts to the proximity with goosebumps erupting all over you like you’re a teenager again. 

Your eyes flick up to his side profile, which is literally perfect. His jaw is strong, well cut, defined and his skin is the color of fresh milk tea. You can see little imperfections on his skin like old acne scars, the slightly chapped surface of his lips, and all of his shiny earrings. You love the way he looks and how Jeongguk has grown into his features.  The urge to trace his jawline with your tongue is insane, almost caustic inside of you. It’s impossible to push down. You sort of dressed up for this tutoring date, throwing on a pair of your favorite panties, lathering yourself in the softest lotion; you took all of the right steps and you’re hungry for a certain ending even though there’s a high chance it won’t happen at all. The horny side of you is begging for you to shoot your shot. 

But you stop. Not yet. Not right now. 

While Jeongguk picks out drinks, appetizers and the dessert he wants,  you rush to the bathroom for a second. In the mirror, you take notice of your reddened cheeks and parted lips and the messy wisps of hair sticking out. You quickly tie it back into a loose braid and then splash some water on your face. 

Reel it back, bitch.  

While in the bathroom, you call out. “Hey Jeongguk? Could you get my wallet? It’s on top of my dresser, the one next to my closet.” Might as well pay now so you can get the chicken faster. 

“Okay!” He responds. 

The noise your stomach makes is loud and painful. The salad you had did nothing to satiate your cravings so the thought of chicken, perfectly fried to a crisp and covered in garlicky sweet sauce has you practically salivating. Especially since you’ve been eating so healthily as of late. It’s nice to treat yourself to some fast food.

Afterwards, you trudge back on over to the coffee table and plop down silently while Jeongguk puts in your card information. Meanwhile, you remember to feed Snowball for dinner and give her some much needed attention by bringing her to sit with the two of you so she can be pet and loved. 

Jeongguk’s warmth emanates from his shoulder that is inches away from you while the Love Island intro song plays at the start of every new season. Half-heartedly, you watch the corny antics as each contestant introduces themselves with the main host speaking over and you think about how much internal anguish you’re feeling at the moment. 

An object prods into your forearm. You look down to see the rounded edge of your credit card. “I paid,” Jeongguk tells you. You don’t respond verbally, taking the plastic and shoving it into the slot of your card wallet. 

“Thanks,” you mumble. You bring your knees up to your chest and rest your chin on top of them, hoping to get into the various shirtless tattooed guys on your television screen. It’s an easy task. Shows like Love Island don’t ask too much of you but you can get into it enough where other thoughts begin to fade. 

You check your phone to see that the chicken should be delivered in about 10 minutes. Then you can have food and TV to reward you for all of your hard work. 

The beginning is awkward as each person picks their couple purely based on looks and their name. You cringe when a guy comes in and no one steps up to match with him so he has to randomly choose a girl who was either too shy to step up to say she thinks he’s cute or not at all interested in him. It sounds like such an awkward place to be in and you’d hate to be on either side of the situation. 

Jeongguk, on the other hand, isn’t a reality TV kind of guy. So he has a million questions and comments throughout the 57 minute episode. 

“I don’t get it. They just shove 10 hot people in a house and they have to like each other?” 

“Fuck, that’s how you’re supposed to say Leicester?” 

“That one guy looks like such a fuck boy. Why would you ever get a chest tattoo of an eagle?” 

“What happens if you don’t like anyone you match with? Can you just leave?” You shrug in response. This is your first time watching this show too.  “I’d leave so fast if I was on this show. None of these people would interest me.”

“Me too,” you respond, playing with the frayed edge of an old receipt sticking out of one of the wallet pockets. “I’d get the ick so fast and then hop on the first plane back home.” 

Jeongguk’s bantering turns the simple binge into something more. You start laughing, indulging his every whim, making fun of the guys trying too hard to flirt and seem suave and it’s really fun. You manage to barely remember the way you felt when you came out of the bathroom. 

Is this how it should always be? Platonically hanging out? 

Was it a good thing that you stopped yourself before your desires took over your logic?

You don’t know. You don’t want to either. You just want to sit back and enjoy the rest of this lovely day off. 

After another few minutes of watching the show, you feel Jeongguk’s eyes on you. Wide, glittery, washing over every inch of your skin like he’s trying to commit your features to memory. You raise an eyebrow in question. For a moment, he doesn’t do anything, just stares at you, and then he points to your phone screen where a notification from the delivery app shows. 

The food is here. 

Quickly, you go down, slipping some slides on your feet and shoving your hands in the pockets of your sweater. The delivery person hands you the plastic bag with steaming boxes and you thank them before trundling back upstairs. The smell that wafts to you is mouth-wateringly delicious. 

This. This is your treat after a grueling two weeks of school. 

You bring it up for you and Jeongguk to dig into. The chicken is fresh and delicious and in combination with Jeongguk’s commentary, you start to really enjoy yourself. Especially as all your sex related thoughts begin to push to the back of your brain and the night gets more fun yet relaxing. The food is good and the drinks are refreshing. 

Afterwards, you crack open a bag of  kit kats to share with him to cap off the meal with something sweet since none of the desserts at the restaurant sounded appealing to either of you. 

Love Island is addictive. Your friends were right about it. Two episodes later and the two of you are curious about who is the new islander coming and how they are going to shake things up. 

The TV is on the wall mounted across your bed and coffee table. For the sake of your backs, you move Jeongguk to the bed and take some pillows to lean against so your backs aren’t completely sore by the next morning. 

Although, you do wish your back was sore for another reason but let’s not get into that just yet. 

Since you don’t have a lot of pillows, you share your main one, meaning you’re a lot closer to Jeongguk than you originally planned. To the point where your arms are pressed against each other and your legs are brushing. It makes you nervous to be this close. His perfume is a strong elixir, heady and comforting, pushing you to lean in and bury your face into the delectable skin of his neck. Even his neck, wow. The skin is so smooth, there’s a mole right in the middle of it. You want to sink your teeth into the flesh and use your lips and tongue to paint it all sorts of beautiful colors. 

Sweat begins to form on your hairline. You get nervous with Jeongguk sitting so close to you, hands itching to do something. First they play around with the single star pendant on your necklace, then at a loose thread on your comforter, and then you decide to redo your hair. 

The braid has become a straggly mess with you leaned against things so you pull your hair tie off and begin to undo your braid. At the very least, it is something for your hands to do, keep them occupied and away. 

From Jeongguk that is. You don’t want to obstruct his view or break his attention. 

Pushing off from the pillow, suddenly something happens on screen that makes your head turn abruptly  to see who said what and your hair wacks Jeongguk right in the eye. 

“Shit,” he hisses, clutching his face, curling inwards. 

You begin to panic, turning in on your knees to get closer to him. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I was trying to tie my hair and then something happened on screen so I–” you stop midway, no need for an explanation. Instead, check to see if your hair scratches him in the cornea or not.

Jeongguk’s legs, that were once crossed, are now spread wide without your body taking up the space next to him on your bed. Without a second thought, you cross over the one closest to you and end up in between his two long legs. One hand on his shoulder to grab his attention. 

“Are you okay?” You ask worriedly, trying to search his gaze but Jeongguk’s eyes are turned down. “Jeongguk?” 

Muffled, he speaks up. “Y-yeah. I’m fine.” Jeongguk drops his hands onto his thighs before blinking a few times and you see a telltale tear pool from his big doe eyes, dripping down the slope of his cheek. 

A huge wave of guilt crashes inside of you. 

You made Jeongguk cry. 

Not intentionally but still. He’s crying. 

“Aw,” you cup his cheeks, searching his irises for anything like you’re a licensed ophthalmologist or something, wiping the stray tear with your thumb.“I’m really sorry. Do you need eye drops or anything?” You sit down on your feet, leaning closer to see him. “I can go check in my medicine box if I have any left from Spring.”

He doesn’t respond. 

 Jeongguk freezes immediately with you between his legs. As if all of his blood stops flowing through his veins and he’s turned to stone by Medusa. He glances at every corner of your face, at the strands of hair framing it, like he’s never seen you before. His jaw unhinges and the tip of his pink tongue is just barely visible. 

You don’t even notice how close you get. So worried about the possibility of your hair scratching his cornea that you forget that your knees are brushing against his crotch. Nor do you think about how your face is near, you’re literally staring down like you’re about to kiss him despite dreaming about being in this position all day. 

The only thing echoing in your mind is: Is Jeongguk okay? 

Not another thought. 

“I–” he stops, lips parted, “I’m okay, really.” 

Jeongguk’s palm gently pushes your hands off of his cheeks and he shifts in his spot. 

He’s practically shielding himself for you. His legs are pushed up to his chest now. Jeongguk looks like an animal that’s getting scolded for spilling food everywhere and you cannot understand why on earth he’d be making a face like that. 

“Is something wrong?” You ask. Jeongguk covers his face but you can see his ears starting to turn red. 

You inch closer to him and gently wrap your fingers around his wrist. You’re so close you can smell the gentle perfume he’s sprayed on his neck and the inviting scent of his hair serum. But he’s wriggling around like a fish out of water and it’s scaring you. 

His hands move down, ripping his wrist out of your grip to cover up his crotch and you see a glimpse of the obvious bulge poking from his sweatpants. 

Oh. 

You recoil, muscles tightening as your brain moves a mile a minute. Something Jeongguk must sense from you because he starts explaining way faster than you thought he would. 

“I’m sorry! This is–I can leave if you’d like–” 

“It’s okay, Jeongguk,” you mumble. Your voice is soft. 

It’s okay. It’s more than okay. 

It’s better than okay. 

Jeongguk continues to panic, deaf to your obvious nonchalance about him popping a boner right after you almost blinded him. “I don’t–It just sort of happened-and-and I wasn’t like–thinking a-about you or doing anything–it just,” he pauses midway, sighs to catch his breath, stops nervously stuttering,  and then turns to get up which makes you a little nervous. “I’ll go to the bathroom and get rid of it–”

In a flash, your hand wraps around his wrist to stop him from moving. 

“It’s okay,” you repeat. “I’m not grossed out.” Literally, you are the complete opposite of that but barely you mull it over one last time before speaking up again. “I could fix it, if you’d like.” Just before your conscience could stop you.

This is it. This is your chance to have him. Just once, satiate that need, and then you can go back to normal. 

The universe practically handed you this opportunity on a golden platter so you should take it. Given that Jeongguk is down too. 

His eyes go adorably wide. “W-what?” Jeongguk stutters. 

“I could help you deal with it.”  You say once more. 

At least your voice is clear and sure. On the inside, you’re just a giant piece of adrenaline. 

Jeongguk relaxes some more, gulping, and you watch his Adam’s apple bob. His shoulders broaden like he’s trying to seem confident but you can tell that he’s nervous as fuck too. 

“Why would you do that?” 

Oh, you pretty thing. You have no idea, do you?

“I don’t mind,” you shrug. Feeling bold, the hand that rests on his shoulder squeezes the mass indulgently and Jeongguk feels exquisite. You want to rip all of these clothes off of his body. “You helped me with physics so,” trailing off, as if it’s the only logical solution to this problem. 

To you, it feels like it is. Trade an A on a quiz for an orgasm. 

Plus, you finally get to rid yourself of this intense sexual tension building inside of you. A combination of your hormones and your loneliness all cooked up to make a touch-starved mess at the tiniest thing. Being with Jeongguk could be just what you need to get your focus back on yourself. He’s gorgeous, inside and out, so there’s no intense guilt to bubble from letting some douchebag grow an even bigger ego by sleeping with you. 

Jeongguk is still apprehensive. “You… you know you don’t-like-owe it to me to fix this, right? Just because I got hard doesn’t mean it’s your job to do something for me.” 

You’re taken aback. 

Most guys wouldn’t have even protested. Your mouth would be on his dick and the minute they come, you’d be all alone. They’re the types to view sex in a very individualistic manner. 

A dopey smile makes its way to your lips. “I know. This isn’t a really transactional thing.” You cup his cheek with one hand this time and trace the deep scar there absentmindedly. “I actually want to do this.” 

If Jeongguk were to hear the insane things your brain produces, you wonder if he’d run for the hills or be flattered. Definitely the former. 

“Okay but um,” he avoids your eyes, looking off to the side and you sort of love Jeongguk like this. It’s so different from his nonchalant easygoing behavior.  “I’ve never,” he searches for the words, changes his mind halfway through, and finds another path. “No one has ever like-oh god this is embarrassing–”

You decide to save him. “No one’s ever given you a blowjob?” 

He nods behind his hands that rose to cover his reddening face during his reveal. God, he’s adorable. 

“Really?”

“Is that such a surprise?”

“Yeah, I mean, you’re hot.” You say truthfully. His change of expression does wonders for your confidence. So much so that you decide to bite the bullet and run a hand through his hair affectionately. “How far have you gone?”

The strands are silky smooth, flowing through your fingers like water, and Jeongguk’s eyes flutter shut at the sensation as he mumbles out a response. 

“I kissed someone but only a few times. I got dragged to a high school party and played spin the bottle but nothing more than that.” 

This is new for you. Almost every guy you’ve ever been with is experienced or way more experienced than you. From the guy in high school who took your virginity all the way to Wooshik. And they varied from vanilla guys to those who are super into the dom/sub spiel. You’ve never been the experienced one and it feels different. 

Like you’re corrupting him, forcibly taking away something precious. Like Mrs. Robinson on the prowl for someone younger whom she can use to her advantage. 

And even though that isn’t the case with you and Jeongguk, you want this to be different than your first time. If anything, you want him to feel safe and wanted and to let him know that, at any point, if he wants to stop then it will stop. Just like there’s no obligation for you to make him feel good, there is no obligation for him to return the favor. 

“Then let’s start with that and then we can move on if you’re comfortable. Or we don’t have to do anything and we can just forget about it. Whatever you want.” 

You won’t do anything unless he wants you to. As much as you want to touch him, as much as you need sex, you’re totally fine with taking things at his pace. 

And if he rejects this entire thing and opts to fix his situation in the bathroom, that’s okay too. 

Jeongguk presses the back of his head against the wall in thought, giving you an amazing view of his jawline, until he shyly speaks. “Okay.” 

“Okay?” You want to be sure, hiding the fact that you are utterly elated on the inside.  Jeongguk just turns more red as he avoids your eyes peering into him. 

“You–we can start. I-if that’s what you want.” 

You exhale through your nose. “Oh, you have no idea how much I want to.” 

Before he can question you, you lean down and gently connect your lips with his. 

There’s a moment where it feels foreign, where your body becomes covered with goosebumps at the sheer adrenaline coursing through you and the way your brain freaks out at the change. This is happening, you’re finally doing this, but you take a second to just press and feel. Be in the moment and stop trying to control everything, then you’re fine. 

It’s easy because Jeongguk’s lips are pillowy soft. 

Starting off with a quick peck, you split for a second, nose brushing, and then you kiss Jeongguk again. This time it’s much stronger. Any lack of confidence melts when your lips move languidly against Jeongguk. He’s responsive to your every movement, feeling the inside of your mouth with his own, while his hands rest appropriately on your hips. His lip balm is rose flavored and delectable. Jeongguk is a good kisser. 

The noises fill the quiet apartment as you move closer and cup his jaw on one side while your other hand goes back to his silky soft hair to move your lips cohesively. You adjust yourself so that instead of kneeling between his legs, you’re straddling his thick muscular thighs and they feel exquisite against you, pulling a soft sigh from your lips. 

Jeongguk must feel your exhale, gaining some bravado to take the lead when he kisses you, setting the pace as his own hands begin to move from their comfortable spot on your hips. Part of you really wants to push them down to your ass to feel those big sexy hands grab a handful but you want to wait to see what he does.

He kisses you a little wet but wanton, igniting a deep burning flame inside of you. It’s bright, hot, and you can’t pull yourself away from him the more your lips collide, suckle, and slot. 

Jeongguk’s hands begin tracing up your back with a feather-light touch, and your lips part at the feeling when he unexpectedly inches his tongue into your mouth. 

Looks like he wasn’t lying when he said he’s kissed before. 

Crackles of pleasure bubble in you. Kissing can turn you on, if the guy is good at what he does, and Jeongguk is doing just that. That throbbing sensation takes over and you find yourself clenching around nothing, dreaming of having something just fill you just how you like. His tongue tangles with yours. The kiss starts to get much sloppier, something you didn’t realize you were craving until now, and you rise up on your knees while gently tugging on his hair in a flash of atypical roughness on your end. 

Your mind refuses to process that this is Jihyo’s little brother who is kissing you silly. Right now, he’s Jeongguk. 

Jeongguk with the gorgeous eyes and the gorgeous body who got hard the moment you inched closer. 

You decide to grind down on him, especially when the curve of his bulge becomes more prominent against your ass, and Jeongguk muffles a noise into your mouth. The fabric of your underwear drags across your neglected clit, pulling another sigh out of you. It’s a small jolt of pleasure and you can feel yourself dampen even more. From the action and from the way Jeongguk sounds. 

Another moan comes from Jeongguk when you grind against him again and again, whiny yet soft. It’s doing something to you. His hands squeeze your hips and then one drifts to the back of your thigh. 

Pulling away to catch your breath, you press your forehead against his. There’s a thin layer of sweat building on your skin but your arms loop comfortably around Jeongguk’s neck, tugging his body forwards. His eyes glimmer at you, with kiss-bruised lips and the beginnings of his pearly white bunny teeth peeking out from between. You resist the urge to dive down again, instead wanting to appreciate the absolute view you have right now. 

Your fingers tangle in a lock of his soft black hair. “You’re so gorgeous,” you whisper, taking in his forehead, his jawline, his perfect nose, and every single one of his moles. 

Jeongguk, who is already blushed and heavily breathing, gets even more shy at your compliment, looking away from you to avoid your teasing smile. Which just makes you want to shower him in more praise just to see how embarrassed he can get. 

“So pretty, so handsome,” your finger traces his jaw before going down to his unblemished neck where the skin looks so soft but the area is taut and beautiful. You want to see how he’d look with hickeys. “I want to mark you,” you point to the middle of the right side of his neck, “right here.” 

Jeongguk’s eyebrows raise to his hairlines. “You want to give me a hickey?” He says incredulously. You nod. 

“I want you to remember this.”

Usually, you aren’t the possessive type but you think about Juri, walking through campus and finding Jeongguk, someone that she’s expressed interest in, like this. Covered in marks you left, reeling after the pleasure you gave him. You know the chance is unlikely and if Jeongguk were to run into her, you doubt he’d tell her any bit of what you two had done but it’s the principle of it all. 

That she can be a misogynistic pick-me/not-like-the-other girl all she wants, you still pull better than she ever will. 

Maybe then, she’ll keep your name out of her damn mouth. 

Jeongguk exhales quietly, holding some weight. “Do you actually think I’ll forget this?” 

You smirk. “Dunno, but I can’t let a pretty little thing like you get away, can I? Especially with all of those other girls who love to stare.”

It happens often whenever you two would be walking from class or on public transport and people would stare at Jeongguk. Not that you’d blame them. With a face like that, Jeongguk could debut as an idol and win the hearts of millions, he could act or model even, but then you become more aware of the fact that someone even better could scoop him up at any time and you wouldn’t stand a chance against them. 

“I won’t,” he starts, shaking his head with eyes so honest and truthful that you almost collapse in his hold. “I won’t go away and I won’t forget, okay?” Jeongguk pleads with you, holding your body still with two exact hands on your hips. 

You swear your stomach feels a group of butterflies flapping about, along with unicorns and rainbows and glitter and all of that silly shit when Jeongguk says that. The hand in his hair cups his cheek, thumb tracing his cheekbone. 

“You won’t?” 

“Never,” Jeongguk presses firmly. “And,” he hesitates for a moment, “and I’m not looking at anyone else right now, either. There’s just you.” 

There’s just you. 

The sentence sounds like a confession. Like he’s being honest while you were just being horny and possessive. You feel your act drop, whatever front you were putting up, it drops, and you don’t know what to say at first. 

The truth? You aren’t thinking about anyone else either. You don’t want to. You want Jeongguk. There’s only Jeongguk right now. 

Had this been with any other person, you wouldn’t feel comfortable being honest with them. You wouldn’t trust them not to use that against you but you know Jeongguk and you trust Jeongguk more than anything. 

“I… I’m not looking at anyone either,” you manage to mumble out. Now you’re the one who is all red and shy. 

And watching Jeongguk’s expression change when you said that… priceless. 

He stares at you like you hung all of the stars in the sky, that you push the sun up in the sky every morning, like the dew droplets on the blades of grass, like it was just you. 

It’s perfect yet so much at the same time. You want to say more but you don’t know what else you could say so you meet his gaze, then dip down to his lips, and he nods so you lean in to kiss him again. 

He makes a noise of surprise, immediately licking fiercely into your mouth to meet the movements of your lips. Slowly, Jeongguk pulls away from the wall and begins moving down to lay against the bed, holding himself up with a forearm on the soft material and strengthening his hold on you so you wouldn’t slip off from him. 

You feel Jeongguk grin against your lips at your eagerness but he maintains the energy. Arching your back a little, mostly for show, you reach back and push one of Jeongguk’s hands further down to your ass. He’s been so careful and gentle with you so far and, as nice as it is, you want more. His eyebrows furrow against you, curling his palm over the tangible curve before giving your ass a tentative squeeze and pulling a muffled moan from you. 

So Jeongguk does it again. Does it with more vigor, digging his fingers into the flesh of your cheek and grinding his hips upwards. Gets you throbbing insufferably and so wet. 

“Jeongguk,” you gasp into his mouth, meeting the movement of his hips with your own. The bulge in his pants becomes really prominent as you break the kiss, moving down his strong jawline to his perfect neck. 

Whatever perfume he uses, the smell is strong now, filling your olfactory senses with sweet powdery softness. Your lips search for that spot you ache to mark, digging your teeth into the gentle flesh and soothing  the area over with your tongue. 

The noise he makes…

Jeongguk whimpered when you were sucking and biting on his skin. 

It took so much willpower for you to not rip his damn top off when that sound reached your ears. You were so wet and throbbing in your pants, desperate for some form of touch besides your soaked underwear against your clit. If you could, you’d cover his entire body with hickeys, paint his neck all sorts of beautiful colors if it were socially acceptable for someone to be walking around like that and not have everyone’s immediate thought be that he got jumped or something. 

But you practice restraint and suck on the hot skin, kissing, and doing your best to keep yourself under control even if your wetness was starting to become bothersome. Jeongguk’s hands on your ass don’t help with that either. 

The hold helps you feel the shape of his fingers which are pretty long and thick. You’ve seen them writing, typing, gripping onto the pole in the subway so the veins and tendons pop out and you’ve reached a conclusion that you need to feel them inside of you. Pumping deep and slow. Since the digits are longer than yours, they would reach that damned spot inside, turn you into a shaking, coming, mess. You crave that. 

Even before Wooshik, these dry spells weren’t uncommon. You know that it’s just your monthly horror revving up the hormones that’s making you want some dick like water in a desert but still. 

A girl has her needs. Especially when said girl is constantly hanging around a hot guy. 

Once you pull away from his neck after creating a total of three hickeys, you sit up. All of the kissing and petting and grinding has made you all sweaty so you quickly pull off your quarter-zip hoodie, leaving the plain t-shirt you have on underneath with no bra. 

Jeongguk’s eyes fall to the way your breasts lift and fall with the movement, jiggling into place as you throw the piece of clothing somewhere. The change in temperature has your nipples straining against the thin material and you can tell his attention has shifted. 

With a cocked brow, you smirk. “Want my shirt off?” You ask, slowly twisting the hem around a single finger. 

“Yeah.” 

His hands give your ass another appreciative squeeze. One that nearly has you dropping the control but you rebuild quickly. 

“Take this off then.” You place a hand down on the base of his stomach. Jeongguk’s shirt is thin so you can feel his stomach through the fabric. You need it off asap. 

Jeongguk’s lips part. You think he’s going to deny at first. Maybe he isn’t comfortable showing you his body yet. That’s okay; you don’t mind. Whatever he’s comfortable with, right? 

But in a split second, he grips the gray fabric and sits up slightly to peel it off of his body and gives you a view of what he has underneath. 

Which is just exquisite. 

Jeongguk treats his body like it’s a work of art. When he isn’t gaming or studying, he’s in the gym and he has one of the strictest meal plans you ever see. Allowing himself one cheat meal out of the week and then sticking to his rice, steamed veggie and lean meats for the rest of the days. And that dedication shows in the way his body looks. 

While still being thin and put together, his stomach is defined with steel-cut abs and his obliques are enviable along with sturdy shoulders, firm chest and deliciously bulky arms. 

You’ve never really cared about the body of whoever you were sleeping with. Muscles are nice and hot but they aren’t a necessity. Honestly, having a handsome/pretty face can get a guy farther than a six pack but now you might be changing your mind on that stance. Because Jeongguk has a pretty face and a six pack. 

Or is that a twelve pack? You didn’t really count. 

A single finger starts at Jeongguk’s sternum, tracing down his body to the waistband of his sweats, taking your time to appreciate every patch of skin and flesh. You inch backwards so you are sitting more on his thighs than his lap where his bulge is firmly straining against his pants. Looking all inviting. Your thighs clench together to relieve yourself from the lack of attention.

But before you can wrap your hands around him, Jeongguk’s fingers close around your wrist to stop you. 

“You said if I took my shirt off, you would too,” he reminds you. His tone is low, barely teetering into a domineering one. Brings a rush of arousal to your pussy and you immediately bite the inside of your cheek. 

Jeongguk ordering you around is… really hot. 

“Eager.” 

The plain t-shirt is rather unflattering on the outside so you do away with it quickly, feeling the mass of your breasts lift and bounce back down while adjusting to the temperature change. Your nipples are hard and goosebumps cover your upper body. 

But that’s mainly caused by the way Jeongguk’s eyes practically ravish you. 

You wonder if he’s more of an ass guy or a boob guy. Because his grip has stayed on the plump curve of your backside but his tongue swipes over his bottom lip while staring at your tits like he’s at the Louvre and he has two seconds to take a glance at the Mona Lisa. 

  There’s a sense of vulnerability to have him look at you like this. Like you’re something perfect when all everyone else, including yourself, does is point out your faults. 

It’s too much. You need to make a move, get his eyes off of you, so your hand goes back to the waistline of his pants where his boxer band flashes quickly. Calvin Klein, black in color to match the color of his sweatpants. 

“Can I?” You ask, looking down at the heavy print showing through the material and your mouth waters. 

Jeongguk nods immediately. “Please.” 

Carefully, you peel back the first layer of clothing. The tight elastic pressure around his waist is enough to slowly peel back Jeongguk’s boxers, exposing the beginning of his ilium but then he raises his hips some more until his sweatpants are pushed a little past the beginning of his quad muscles. You desperately want to see the sinew on his legs because you’ve been feeling them flex and move against you this entire time and they are just to your expectations. His skin is soft, a little tanned, thin hairs barely visible on his thighs from the hallowed light. 

“What do you want? My hand or my mouth?” 

You said a blowjob but whatever he wants, you will do. 

His eyes darken with lust. “Y-your hand, first,” Jeongguk stutters, shaking some hair off his sweaty forehead.  You try not to smile excitedly at the word first. 

“Okay.” 

After pressing one more kiss on his perfect nose, your palm cups his bulge. Against the material, you can see somewhat of a defined shape. It’s thick, impressive looking, and your wetness is soaking through your pants, effectively ruining the pair but that’s the least of your concerns. You fight the urge to grind into something, relieve some of the throbbing pressure from your core, clenching around nothing in hopes that it will fix. 

Jeongguk says your name carefully, checking to see if you’re still okay with continuing and your attention is back on him. You give him a wry smile in response and then work on slowly tugging his boxers off of his hips to free his cock. 

You gasp when his length slaps against his bare stomach, incapable of holding it in. 

 He’s big and thick; bigger and thicker than any guy you’ve ever been with. Jeongguk’s dick is pretty. Two veins trailing up the sides and pulsating with blood, the tip peeking with a small droplet of pearly white pre-cum. 

“Fuck,” you curse, reaching a hand forward to barely wrap around him. Your fingers manage to encompass the whole circumference but you can only accredit that to your long digits. Otherwise he would be too girthy. 

Jeongguk’s eyes flutter shut when you pump his length once. His jawline strains sexily as little puffs of air escape his lips. He looks so good when he’s pleased. As if he was made to only look like that. The emotion sits perfectly on his pretty features. 

A bead of pearly white fluid seeps from the stop, collecting slightly over the flesh-toned head. You lick your lips. “I don’t think you’ll fit in my mouth.” 

“W-what?” He stammers. 

“You’re too big, baby,” you purr, panicking momentarily about the pet name. “Shit,” swearing under your breath when you feel him twitch. Then, you let a fat drop of spit fall from your mouth and onto the head to aid your hand gliding up and down. “My throat will definitely be sore tomorrow.” 

Not that you’re complaining. 

The boy beneath you flushes. “I–” his breathing quickening when your hand works over him expertly, barely a moan. “You–um–you don’t have to,” Jeongguk offers. 

You coo, reaching forward to boop Jeongguk’s cute little nose with your free hand, still slowly jerking his cock with the other, giving the fat length a nice squeeze at the base. “But I want to,” forcing a pout and watching his gaze turn heady with euphoria. “Don’t you want me to use my mouth? To suck you off nice and properly?” 

This is new for you. You are usually rather submissive in bed and you’ve always liked it that way. If anything, you sought after guys who were more dominant because it was an immediate turn-on for you but now that you’ve made Jeongguk all pliant and soft, you can’t stop. He just looks so perfect. His eyes clench shut, creases appearing at the sides when your hands squeeze his length teasingly on the upstroke, legs going more rigid. 

Jeongguk doesn’t respond at first so you lean down, holding yourself up with one hand splayed on the mattress, right next to his head, and increase the pace of your hand. You pay special attention to the tip and the spot right under where he’s sensitive, rubbing a thumb over the area to collect more precum on the way down his cock. Jeongguk sputters out a soft noise, gritting his teeth tightly. 

“You have to tell me what you want, Jeongguk,” you muse. The tips of your noses graze, your breasts meeting his hot skin. Jeongguk’s hands, which switched to curling into the fabric of your duvet, go to your thighs to squeeze them. At that point, you decide to only stimulate the head of his cock with the pad of your thumb, rubbing teasingly tight circles while Jeongguk leaks all over, rivulets of creamy white decorating his length.  “My hands? Or my mouth? What do you want me to do?”

Jeongguk goes crazy.  His back arches off the mattress along with a high whine emitting from his swollen lips. He looks so overwhelmed with red cheeks and his hands gripping onto your body like it’s a lifeline. 

“Y-your mouth! I want your mouth, please,” he whines once more, digging his nails into your thighs, surely leaving indents. You smile, pressing a sweet kiss to his lips before descending down his taut body. 

Jeongguk is a work of art after all and you need time to appreciate him. 

Your hands stop their tortuous movement, leaving Jeongguk’s cock to hold yourself up while inching down. You kiss down the right side of his neck. The skin is salty from sweat but you don’t mind. You kiss all the marks you left, the mole on his chest, the beginning of his abs (you pay special attention to this area), licking up a stripe to feel the ridges of his body before you end up on your knees in between his legs. 

While you were kissing him, Jeongguk kicked his sweatpants off his legs, allowing you to capture a full glimpse of his meaty thighs. His skin is flawless and soft looking and you bookmark the thought of leaving red lines atop his thighs while riding him like a fucking stallion for later. 

His length deliciously twitches again from the brief lack of touch. You eye it for a split second, mouth watering, before taking the head between your lips. He throws his head back in satisfaction. 

Jeongguk tastes good. A mix of skin, salt, but he isn’t bitter; soft, pliable skin meets the plush membrane in your mouth. You moan out while your tongue circles the head, awarding you with a fresh spurt of pre-cum. 

Giving head isn’t everyone’s favorite (totally understandable) but it’s definitely yours. You don’t know why, maybe you have an oral fixation that you don’t know about, but it always makes you wet and desperate for more. Especially when the guy you’re blowing has hot moans like Jeongguk does. 

“Fuck,” he drawls out, while your tongue moves over him. He wraps a hand around the back of your hair gently, barely pushing you down to take more of him into your mouth. 

Ideally, you’d punish Jeongguk for that. If you were continuing this dominatrix stint you have going on then he shouldn’t be pushing you and trying to choke you but you drop the whole act. 

Because he feels so good. 

Your wetness is trickling down the swell of your ass as more of your mouth stretches to accommodate his length. The back of his head is about to reach the back of your throat when you wrap a hand around to pump what you can’t reach. It’ll be impossible to take him all in one go. You need to warm up first. Fat rivulets of spit trail down to his base and collect there to ease your ministrations. 

“So good,” Jeongguk praises, tangling his fingers in your hair while the wet sucking noises filter through your apartment. “You’re s-so good at this.” 

Jeongguk’s low voice isn’t helping you. Another pathetically whiny noise is muffled by his big dick going back into your mouth, swallowing around the tip as you take a little more than before. 

Swirling your mouth, using the inside of your cheek, the side of your tongue and the puckered membrane of your lips in conjunction with your nimble hands, jacking his thick cock and feeling the skin get hotter, wetter, with every second that passes by. 

He’s probably big enough to make you squirt. Though, you are the type to squirt easily, but guys around his size tend to hit the g-spot head on, to turn you into a shaking, coming, moaning mess in their arms. The thought really gets you going, imagining yourself sinking down on him like a Queen perched on her throne and spilling all over his thighs with a loud noise. 

Would he like it? Would he want to see you do it again? 

Fuck, you need a little bit of friction here. The combination of sucking him off, Jeongguk’s breathy whiny noises, and the deranged thoughts in your brain make your pussy so needy, demanding attention. 

You think about reaching back and rubbing yourself, just for a second, but your brain is too transfixed on Jeongguk. 

“P-please don’t stop-p,” he begs, “Please–Ah, yes.” Sounding like he’s about to cry. 

Your wrist flicks up during your motions while you pay special attention to the head. Jeongguk twitches some more and judging by how hard he grips your hair, he must be close. 

So you make sure your tongue stimulates all of the areas that make Jeongguk quiver in your hold. Your back arches, suckling at the skin. 

“Can I,” he interrupts himself with a moan, hands shaking, “Can I cum in your mouth?” He asks politely. 

You pull off with a breathy sigh, moving your hand to respond. “Please.” You want to taste more of him, until he’s filling your throat up completely. 

Sinking back down, you take in as much of him as you can, deep-throating his cock to the best of your abilities. It’s wet, the noises are filthy, salacious, but you don’t really care that much. Jeongguk’s cock twitches again as he spurts into your mouth, awarding you with his release as he whines throughout. 

And like a good girl, you swallow every last drop, refusing to let even a tiny drop of it go to waste. 

Jeongguk pants. His fingers slip out of your ratty hair and his hand slap over his forehead while he collects himself. His thighs shake with the aftershocks of his orgasm, sweat collected at the enticing dip of his collarbones, making his skin look like it’s speckled with diamonds. While you sit up slowly and wipe the back of your mouth, tucking his slowly softening length back into his boxers with a soft pat. 

For a few seconds, he doesn’t say anything to you. All Jeongguk does is try to catch his breath, probably slow his heart rate a bit. 

In that short period of time, your brain speeds at 100 miles per second. Did Jeongguk like it? Did Jeongguk hate it? Will he let you do it again? Oh my god, do you want to do it again and again and again. Is he uncomfortable around you now? What next? 

Your thighs are folded under you, watching Jeongguk’s stomach tense and flex as he leans on his elbows to look at you. 

His lips are adorable pouty and the hickeys look really pretty on his skin. You want so much more from him but you’re too afraid to vocalize it. You don’t want to stop. You don’t want to wake up and force this memory out of your brain. Jeongguk is so pretty and perfect and so easy to want. 

“C’mere,” he says softly, exhaling quickly with a stupid grin. Unsure if he meant his lap or right next to him, you shuffle closer until Jeongguk pats the space next to his body and you move accordingly. Hands an knees on the bed like a slinking cat. 

The air, which was once zinging with tension, has simmered down a little. Jeongguk’s arm stretches out for you to lean your head on his bicep. Up close, his eyes sparkle more than the stars in the night sky as Jeongguk pushes all of the loose strands of hair out of your sweaty face. 

“You were really good,” he repeats. “Thank you for that.” 

It feels weird to be thanked for sucking dick so you shake your head. “No need to thank me.” And because it doesn’t hurt to be truthful, you open your mouth once more. “I really wanted to.” 

Jeongguk’s expression warms; his smile gets wider and his cheeks get rounder. His thumb traces the curve of your jaw, dancing over your features like he’s trying to commit them to memory again.

“So can I return the favor?” 

Your heart leaps to your throat. You were sure Jeongguk was under the impression that this was a simple blowie, the end. Nothing else and nothing more. Even though you wanted more, you were ready to leave this romp at that but he proves you wrong once again. 

You raise an eyebrow. “You want to?” 

Most guys don’t. Most guys give up the second they cum without even offering.

But Jeongguk fucking smirks when he noticed your shocked expression. “I really want to,” he copies you. 

Fuck, you think. You put on a nice pair of underwear thinking that this would happen and then the entire tutoring session you were gaslighting yourself into thinking that nothing would ever happen and now here you are. 

There’s no doubt in your mind that you want this. Your panties are soaked and your core is aching to be touched. You need it so bad that you might never forgive yourself for turning this down.  

“Okay.” 

“Okay?” Jeongguk repeats. 

“Touch me. Please Jeongguk,” you plead with him, placing a soft hand on his warm chest. The breath is just about to escape you when he leans in to kiss you with his supple lips. 

You almost cringe. You must taste like him and you’re sure that there’s still some moisture collected in the corner of your mouth but Jeongguk doesn’t care. He licks hotly into your mouth, taking control during the kiss which surprises you completely. 

Gone is the shy whimpering boy who begged you not to stop. Jeongguk’s fingers squeeze your hips then pull one of your legs over his thighs so that you get even closer to him and your center is more exposed. That same hand travels upwards to your tits and cups the mass, and it’s your turn to shake in his hold. 

He’s starting off perfectly, like he knows what moves drive you crazy just by looking at you. 

You sigh softly when your lips break and he begins kissing down your neck. Unlike you, Jeongguk doesn’t leave any marks. Instead, he’s strategic about creating a clean line from your mouth, smooching along your jaw, then the side of your neck, to the middle of your collarbones before meeting your boobs. Jeongguk hauls you up the bed a little so he’s facing your chest instead, bringing your body closer with a splayed hand on your back. 

“Jeongguk,” you try, unsure as to why you’re calling him out. Jeongguk pays you no attention, transfixed by your naked breasts. He expels something inaudible under his breath and then takes one of your nipples into his mouth while tweaking the other, causing your body to go rigid. 

His lips wrap around the bud, sucking and circling his tongue over it while his other hand tweaks and pulls at the other. Like his tongue, his finger moves in time to turn you into a pile of mush. You grind onto nothing, wishing it was his thigh instead because you need friction from how wet and needy you’ve become in the span of like 20 minutes. 

Moaning out at the feeling of him slowly stimulating you, Jeongguk switches to the other one until your nipples are left shiny, wet, and puffy from his lips and tongue. 

He picks up fast, it seems. While kissing down your stomach, he asks you, “What do you want me to do?” Just like you did. 

“Anything,” you respond. You don’t care what he does, you just want him to do something. 

Jeongguk shakes his head. “Gotta give me a real answer,” he pulls up a little closer to your face, cupping your swollen bottom lip thanks to all of his work. “Tell me.”

“I,” you start. In all honesty, you wouldn’t mind anything from him. But you feel the length of his fingers, thick and perfect, and you remember your pressing desire of having them inside of you. “I want your fingers,” deciding on that. 

He grins softly at how cute you become when you’re overwhelmed. Jeongguk doesn’t wait around any longer, fingers going to the waistline of your yoga pants and tugging them down slowly. They’re tight, sticking to you like a second skin, so they snag along the meat of your thighs. Jeongguk doesn’t seem to mind as the fabric bunches up into a little ring and you kick it off to a random spot on your floor. 

Cold air meets your soaked underwear, making you cringe at the feeling, totally unaware of the way Jeongguk gapes at the flimsy little thing hugging your hips. He gently traces the band over your pelvis, almost like he’s hesitation. 

You open your mouth, ready to check in to see if Jeongguk still wants to do this for you or not, but before you can, his fingers dip into your panties to feel just how wet you are from him. 

His expression morphs beautifully. “You’re…” he’s speechless at first. Jeongguk’s finger trails up and down your center, barely grazing your sensitive clit. 

A whimper escapes you. His touch is feather light and barely enough yet so much all at once. 

“Fuck,” he groans, hiding his face into crook of your neck, soaking up all of your arousal while his ears and neck get bright red. You’d be embarrassed by the rushing gush coating you even more if Jeongguk’s thumb hadn’t stopped at your clit to draw tight, short, slow circles. 

Such a gentle pace, way less intense than the bullet vibrator you’ve been using, and the pressure builds gradually. One of your hands wind in his hair and the other grips his bicep, openly feeling him up. 

“Fucking soaked,” Jeongguk grits, moving his thumb a little faster. 

Your eyes shut. “Oh J–” interrupted by a shaky noise spilling from your mouth. Jeongguk takes that as a good sign, deciding to torture you even further by moving his lips back to your stiffened nipples and using his tongue to suck and lick at them as if you aren’t already sensitive. 

“You’re pretty too, noona,” Jeongguk says, looking at you this time. Slowly, your eyes peel open to find his big brown irises glimmering at you. “I think you’re beautiful. Always have.” 

You blush immediately. You don’t know why this feels so intensely intimate, like a pan that’s gotten too hot. Is it Jeongguk’s tone, the fact that he’s so close, the way he looks at you to make sure you know and understand him? What is it that has you so stupefied by such a simple comment? 

Boys have called you pretty before, called you much worse too, but you should be used to it. Over the years you’ve started to develop a thick skin but this one gets to you. 

That flutter of butterflies comes back, dancing from the tip of your toes all the way to your head. Jeongguk has seen you grow, from a kid to a pre-teen and now an adult. 

And he still finds you beautiful. Even after every embarrassing phase. 

You begin to smile, cupping his cheeks and leaning down to press a short kiss to his lips, then the corner of his lips, his cheek and his nose, because he deserves it and he’s cute. 

“Thanks,” you mean it, even if the sweet moment cut all of the flourishing beginnings of an orgasm from you and Jeongguk’s fingers halted, out of your underwear and holding your hip instead. 

Jeongguk mirrors your expression. Then he looks down at where his hand is and back up at you, nervously tonguing his cheek. “Can I move now?” 

You nod your head yes quickly after he asks. 

“And…” Jeongguk still looks awkward. You go back to cupping his soft cheeks. “Tell me if I’m doing okay?”

You want to melt in his grip. “Of course, Guk.” Thumb swiping over his cheekbone affectionately. 

Jeongguk takes that as the greenlight and slips his fingers back into your underwear. His gaze is on you, studying your features when his thumb goes back to your clit while his middle finger teases around your opening. You clench, desperate for something to slip inside of you, lifting your hips up in hope that Jeongguk would take the hint and put his fingers inside but he continues collecting your arousal to get his digits wet enough. 

“Jeongguk,” you call tightly, digging your nails into the meat of his shoulders. He hums in response. “I need more.” 

His thumb decides to go faster at your demand but not fast enough and his middle finger still traces your opening instead of slipping inside. 

“More?” He repeats, lilting his voice teasingly. 

Shithead. 

“Yes, more.”  You want to whine, kick your legs even. 

He can feel how wet you’ve gotten, does he not know how much you want this? 

“You want my fingers?” 

“Yes,” you grumble but it sweetens at the end because his thumb starts moving faster over your clit and you feel the waves of pleasure swirling in your stomach, turning into a half-moan. 

Jeongguk angles his hand a little differently and, gently, pushes his middle finger inside you. He groans at the feeling of you. “So tight,” breathing out against your skin. 

You react immediately, throwing your head back. There’s a slight pinch but it's not even the slightest bit painful. The intrusion is welcomed; although small, you need it. Jeongguk’s finger is nice and long and he pistons it out of you with so much care while hitting just the spot. 

“Fuck, right there,” you moan out, turning your face into the soft material of your sheets, eyes rolling back.

Jeongguk slips another finger in and he stops teasing your throbbing bundle of nerves to focus fully on moving his digits, curving them upwards to your walls as you release a symphony of noises. Finding that soft spongy part inside of you and massaging it. 

“F-faster please, please, go faster,” begging him out of the fear that he’ll tease you just like he was doing before. 

But Jeongguk plays fair and fingers you even faster, upping the ante even more by removing his free hand and pressing down on your lower stomach, right before your pelvis. 

And you lose it. 

The pressure from his hand on top, plus the way his fingers are moving, just becomes too much. The  gradual pressure starts accelerating and accelerating until it drops like a rollercoaster and you feel a burst of tingling pleasure rush through your veins and all over your body. 

“I’m cumming!” Crying out, tears pooling inside your eyes streaming down your cheeks as your legs shake with the crashing waves of your orgasm. 

Different than when you do it. As good as your vibrator is, something about it has yet to make you orgasm like this. Heavy, powerful, almost numbing. Waves crash inside you, again and again, cresting at the peak and slowly simmering out into a soft current and then nothing at all. 

Your breath comes out in heavy pants, limbs feeling like jelly, slowly opening your eyes to find Jeongguk staring back at you in bewilderment. His lips are parted but his cheeks aren’t red with embarrassment. If anything, he looks like the complete opposite of that. 

Like he could watch you do that again and again. Something you would gladly agree with. 

Jeongguk takes his fingers out from your underwear, glistening with your arousal, and before you can offer him a napkin, he slips his digits into his mouth and cleans them off. You really begin to question if this man is a virgin or secretly a sex god waiting to be discovered. He’s way better than you were when you were inexperienced. Does he watch a lot of porn?

Or do Taehyung and Jimin just talk about sex around him too much? Must be that. 

“Mmh,” his fingers come out with a soft pop noise, “You taste amazing.” Jeongguk’s clean hand brushes some hair out of your face as he smiles. You lean into his touch like a purring kitten, curling into his chest because your entire body feels weak. 

“You okay?” Jeongguk asks, closing his arms around you. 

Nodding into his chest, “Yeah. Felt really good.” You want to say more but there’s no energy for you to do so. 

“Did it? You looked really hot when,” trailing off, you know what he means, and you press a kiss to his chest. “Kinda want to see it again.” 

That takes your attention. 

Removing the fact that you haven’t been touched in a bit, two orgasms from Jeongguk might put your legs out of commission and that was just with his fingers. You can’t imagine what it would be like with more of him, especially as he learns more about how to pleasure you and gets better. Your poor vibrator might be out of a job. 

“I would love to, but you definitely wore me out.” Pulling your face away, you look up at his perfectly crafted face. “Can we try that another time?” 

Another time, you get giddy even before he agrees. After getting addicted to Jeongguk’s touch, you don’t want to entertain the idea of this being a one time thing. 

“Of course.” And neither does he. 

Jeongguk kisses the top of your head gently, rubbing soothing circles on your back. You tangle your legs with his, inhaling his scent and doing your best not to fall asleep. 

It feels sticky and wet between your legs. You should change and you should get ready for bed. Jeongguk probably wants to go back to his house, right? He probably doesn’t want to stick around your place after what just happened. 

But you think about it and that’s the farthest thing you want. 

Being in his arms, you feel safe and protected, like you drifted off to another dimension where nothing bad has ever happened and you were still the girl you were when you left Busan. Happy and lively. 

You don’t want him to leave you. You don’t want this to be another shitty hookup or one-time thing that makes both of you blush and walk-away. You just want Jeongguk to be in your life. 

So you hold on tight, avoiding his eyes when you ask: “Do you want to stay here with me tonight?”

Please, please, you beg internally. You’ll make breakfast, there’s a pack of toothbrushes under your sink, anything. Just stay. 

And thankfully, Jeongguk responds without wasting another second of your time, putting you at ease once again.  

“Please.”

a/n: okay yes, that was a lot but more smut will come and more angst will follow!

taglist:

@iwuzhere

[wromwood]

I went to NYCC this weekend for two days: Thursday and Friday. It was a fun time, and I'm so glad I went, but I thought I'd share my negative experiences from the reason why I went on Thursday, and how it could've easily become a con-ruiner if there weren't a few silver linings.

Click on the Read More if you want to hear about the Alex Hirsch signings and panel, and how NYCC made the events near-total disasters.

Warning: This story is long, but that's because its poor handling can't be condensed to a bite-sized retelling.

So, I wasn't always planning on attending NYCC on Thursday. Since all the Saturday and 4-day passes sell out before the general public even has a chance to buy them, I swooped for what I assumed was the next best day: Friday. One-day tickets are about $80 each, and once you combine those costs with both my potential cosplay and exhibit hall/artist alley shopping expenses, you can see why I wasn't originally planning to go for another day.

However, near the beginning of October, NYCC made a last minute announcement that Alex Hirsch would be at NYCC on Thursday and Friday. He would have signings on Thursday and Friday, and a panel on Thursday evening. I've never seen Alex Hirsch in person before, so this (and an NYCC-based costume contest held by Hirsch and announced only a few days after the main event announcements) was enough to make me buy an additional Thursday ticket.

Now, before I explain what happened during Hirsch's NYCC events, I want to clearly establish what information fans knew about them beforehand:

Every event involved Alex Hirsch, Joe Pitt, and Ian Worrel.

The signings were specifically for The Book of Bill. You had to have a copy of The Book of Bill to get a spot in the signing, which you could either bring yourself or purchase from the Barnes & Noble booth that would be set up nearby. You could also bring one additional item for signing.

Both signings were free and first come, first serve. They did not require any sort of prior purchase or reservation.

The panel on Thursday evening also did not require any sort of extra ticket purchase or reservation. (Reservations are only available to Empire or Main Stage panels; the Alex Hirsch panel was in one of the 400-level rooms.)

If you're thinking that this seems like too little information for something that could easily get chaotic in the wrong hands, then great! That's what I thought myself when I examined every event listing for any scrap of detail with which to prepare myself. Alex Hirsch is the creator of one of the most beloved modern Disney cartoons, and his fanbase had only increased and been given new life after the publication of his new book. And yet there was no way to reserve a spot in his two signings? I only hoped that NYCC knew what they were doing.

Thursday arrived, and so did I at the Javits Center in my Bipper cosplay. I arrived at around 11:30 AM, and the Thursday signing was at 3 PM, so I spent a couple of hours walking around the show floor, buying expensive One Piece merch, and taking pictures with the Duolingo owl. I headed down to line up for the signing at 2 PM, thinking that being there an hour in advance would be enough to secure a spot.

... No, it wasn't.

I arrived at Hall 1A to an in-progress mob of Gravity Falls cosplayers. There were Bills, Dippers, Mabels, Fords, and Grunkle Stans as far as the eye can see, and nearly everyone was holding copies of The Book of Bill. I spotted an AMAZING cosplayer who was dressed as a member of the Church of Ciphertology and holding up a huge foam puppet of Bill. The puppet had ropes connecting its arms with hers so that it looked like she was being puppeted by it. She had been standing by the wall outside the hall, but was now moving into it, and I followed her raised Bill puppet like a guiding beacon.

I was soon in the middle of a sea of costumed people. There wasn't even a semblance of a line here, at least not this far back. Fortunately, we were mostly all nice and united in our love for Gravity Falls, so I didn't experience any pushing or shoving. In fact, I even struck up a lovely conversation with the people in front of me.

Unfortunately, all of us were united in another experience: we had all been caught off-guard at how disastrous this event was turning out.

Most of us had followed the same plan that I had developed: arrive an hour early to get a spot in line. Some of us had been more careful. I later learned from the Ciphertology disciple that she had arrived closer to noon, but had been warned by security that she couldn't actually line up for this event. Lining up would only occur an hour before the signing, at 2 PM. That was why she had been next to the wall when I arrived. She had more right to be at the front than I did, and yet she was only a few feet ahead of me when we entered the mob.

While I didn't interview many other attendees, we quickly formed the hypothesis that this "no lining up before 2 PM" rule was why the mob had formed. Everyone - both the people who had arrived earlier and the newcomers who thought 1 hour was "early" - had rushed to form a line that the NYCC crew members just couldn't create.

We waited there for about 15-20 minutes. Occasionally, a crew member yelled for us to take a big step back (only some of the mob complied) and sometimes we were asked to all raise our copies of The Book of Bill in the air (for a photo? to check who was eligible for the signing? I'm still unsure).

Finally, at around 2:30 PM, we heard a crew member shout, "All right! We've run out of tickets for the signing! The rest of you have to leave!"

This was the wrong phrasing for them to use, because immediately, a number of fans started shouting things along the lines of "What do you MEAN tickets?!" "No one told us we had to have tickets!!!" "How do we get tickets?!"

Because there were only so few NYCC crew members on the floor, the announcement was mostly spread through word of mouth: a number of people at the front of the mob had been given "tickets" (wristbands?) so that they could line up for the signing. They didn't even get close to my part of the mob before they ran out of spots.

I, and so many other people, had to walk away disappointed, hoping that we could at least get into the panel later.

Before I left, I said this to three different NYCC crew members: "Hey, I know that there's another signing tomorrow, and I also have a pass for tomorrow. What should I do so that I don't miss this event?"

Every response I got was a variation on the phrase "I don't know." This is important to remember. I tried my best to learn what to do ahead of time by asking NYCC employees.

Anyway, later that evening was the Alex Hirsch panel at 6:30 PM. After the disappointment from the signing, though, I didn't want to take any chances. After spending an hour for lunch, I headed to the location for the panel at 3:30 PM, 3 hours ahead of time. I saw a NYCC crew member and asked when and where I should wait for the panel to start.

His paraphrased advice: "Listen. There's the room where the panel will be. You take a seat in there now and sit through three panels. That's how you'll have a seat later."

This may sound like cheating, and an unfair thing to do when you consider the people who may actually want to attend the panels before the one you're camping out for, but it wasn't against the rules. Only the Main and Empire stages require the rooms to be turned out for new people between panels. For the other panel rooms, you can camp out in your seat for as long as you want.

So, I followed his advice. I walked to room 406.3 in the middle of a panel about censoring non-fiction comics and found an empty seat.

I was shocked to see just how small the room was. According to the NYCC website, the room can seat about 300 people. That may sound like a lot, until you remember that 1) this is NYCC, which had 200,000 attendees last year, and 2) THIS PANEL IS FOR ALEX HIRSCH. I couldn't help but think of the mob I saw earlier, and just how many of those people wouldn't be able to fit into this room.

When I sat down during the censorship panel, the room was only about half full, and I saw two other Gravity Falls cosplayers already. After that panel, I walked to the front and took a seat in the third row (later, I even managed to move up to the second row, so I had a very good view).

An hour later (about 4:30 PM), the room was almost entirely full with a crowd that was almost entirely Gravity Falls fans. An hour after that (5:30 PM), the room was absolutely full, and we had already gotten word (and pictures) from people on the outside that there was a line of hopeful latecomers stretching around the floor.

One odd memory I have from around this point was when a woman showed up at the front of the room and addressed a bunch of us in general, saying "Hi, I'm from Disney. Are there six seats that I can have?"

All of the people near her (including myself) shot her looks and muttered replies along the lines of "Hell, no." She didn't further explain what she meant or provide any credentials, so I have no idea why she expected to get so many seats at once or what she needed them for.

I'll skip past the rest of the evening, as the panel was largely a nice time after that. I sat next to some really kind, awesome people who were great to talk to and share art with between panels, Alex Hirsch (as well as Joe Pitt and Ian Worrel, of course!) shared great stories, and I got to witness the awesome Ciphertologist cosplayer win a Bill Cipher Ouija board. It was a nice way to make up for missing the signing earlier, and I'm glad I was able to attend.

... and yet, not only did I still feel a sting of guilt about the hundreds of other fans who couldn't attend, but I couldn't stop thinking about something I discussed with the other fans I sat with: even the lucky fans who attended the panel were only able to do so because we spent hours of our con-going experience sitting through panels we wouldn't have otherwise chosen to attend. The panels were interesting in their own right, but that wasn't the point.

It's not cheap to attend NYCC. At around $80 a day (if you didn't buy a 4-day pass), time is money. There could be other panels that pertain to our interests happening during the waiting time. Guests that we might've wanted to get photos or autographs with. An entire show floor to explore. Merch to buy. Many of us only realized that we'd have to wait this long in one room earlier that day. We hadn't properly prepared for the fact that - new friendships and fun between-panel conversations aside - this time was practically wasted.

Don't get me wrong: I'm so happy I managed to attend the panel, and I'm glad I had the time to talk to such lovely people. But this wasn't fair to us as con-goers, and it especially wasn't fair to the con-goers who couldn't get in the signing OR the panel, or who were only able to get a ticket for Thursday and couldn't spend more time doing what they wanted at the convention on another day.

Speaking of the next day: I was determined to get a personalized signing from Alex Hirsch on Friday. That day, the signing started at 1:30 PM. Keeping the "no lining up before an hour ahead" rule in mind, I decided I'd arrive two hours before at 11:30 PM. Not far enough in advance to absolutely antagonize security, but hopefully far enough to scope out the scene and join other fans in making a game-plan for when and how to line up.

I arrived at Hall 1A at 11:30 only to learn that the signing tickets (which were now confirmed to be wristbands) had LONG since run out.

From what I gathered from other fans and NYCC crew members, the convention decided that the first come, first serve model would begin from the moment the convention opened that day (I think 10 AM?). Gravity Falls fans could stop by and get wrist bands for the signing until they ran out, which they did QUICKLY. Apparently, they gave out even fewer spots than on Thursday.

I definitely feel that the issue here wasn't me not thinking of getting there right as the doors opened. The fans were given one set of rules on Thursday, and just as it had been spread through word of mouth, they were changed the next day with basically no notice (apparently, some fans heard more info from staff members, but this was irregular). There was no formal announcement about the new wristband distribution, which meant there was no way for fans to know about this unless they showed up as early as possible, which was established to be a bad thing for the signing just the day before. And this is on top of me asking NYCC employees what I should do to not miss my chance at a signing! Either they changed the rules last minute, or the NYCC workers I spoke to really weren't told a thing by the convention planners.

I, and many other people, were rightfully pissed off to lose our last chance at getting a personalized autograph from Alex Hirsch.

There was one silver lining, though, that kept the day from feeling ruined. The signing was scheduled to go from 1:30-3:00. At 2:30, I decided to head to the signing just to wistfully stare at Alex Hirsch from the Barnes & Noble booth. I had a good view and stared wistfully away next to a few other fans who had hoped (in vain) that extra people could be squeezed in for the signing.

Then, after everyone with wristbands got their books signed and about 5-10 minutes before the signing was totally over, Hirsch, Pitt, and Worrel were handed a couple stacks of The Book of Bill from the Barnes & Noble booth. They quickly signed the stacks, then left.

To our delight, the employees came over to the lingering fans who weren't able to get wristbands and started passing out the copies. So I did end Friday with a signed copy of The Book of Bill! I also got a couple of sticker sheets that were being given out during the signing, which is nice. The waiting around was worth it.

Even so, that doesn't fully make up for just how disastrously the events were handled. This wasn't a case of fans not being in the know about how conventions are run. This was fully caused by NYCC either not knowing or not caring just how big of a crowd Alex Hirsch would draw. They dangled the chance of first come, first serve autographs to hundreds of people without providing the best guidelines on how to obtain them. They reserved a panel room that wasn't nearly large enough and didn't consider the implications of seat-camping. It was a nightmare.

Hopefully, you appreciated my dramatic retelling of these events. The moral of this story is: don't assume that just because NYCC is one of the biggest conventions in the country that it is guaranteed to competently run all of its events. They can mess up.

[whoslai]

Off The Menu - Lee Heeseung (Chapter 1)

genre: angst, fluff, slow-ish burn, eventual smut!! (you’re responsible for what you consume, read at your own risk)

warnings: none?? reader has anxiety/social anxiety and a few insecurities here and here. major slice of life for you peeps 

send me an ask if you’d like to be tagged! thank you to all my new followers, you guys are amazing for supporting me. please interact and give me as much feedback as you’d like (don’t be an ass tho, no need to spread negativity.

not proof read, sorry for any typos in advance. 

word count: 3.3k 

link to series masterlist or whatever

next chapter

Chapter 1: “Hey, lol.”

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Fall wasn’t your favorite season. From the stress of studying for finals to worrying about flight tickets back home when winter rolled around, you were never the biggest fan of the autumn months. With the combination of your busy schedule and your failure to get a refill on your anxiety medication, you felt immensely overwhelmed. Another thing to note was how lonely it got; Your family was across the country. Going to school in California was a conscious decision of yours, but you didn’t consider how tiresome it’d get not experiencing the warm embrace of a loved one in your times of need. To even take a trip back home would take you nearly 2 days, and that was simply not a risk you were willing to take with how dingy your car was. 

Your Friday’s typically consisted of this: Breakfast at the café off campus, lectures from 9 am to 12 pm, lunch at 12:30 pm accompanied with a small break, occasional seminars for an hour or so, then you were done. You’d usually study for a little while, but there were no promises. Being a second year psych student had its pros and cons; Less free time throughout the weekdays but completely free weekends. Though the pros outweigh the cons, you could use a bit more time to yourself throughout the week. As you were far from home, you had to make completely new friends. The vibe in California was completely different. You spent the entirety of your first year in your dorm in online school due to your school’s strict precautions against the pandemic, so you’d be stripped of the chance of branching out. While you weren’t the only one who went through this, it was 10x harder for you to go back to normal; Social anxiety had been something you’d struggled with all your life. The fear you felt when in big crowds, when being assigned to group projects, even merely walking to your class on campus…really…sucked. Tasked with the responsibility of your own finances, health insurance was something you simply couldn’t afford. Therefore, you hadn’t been on your meds for God knows how long. But anyway, you wouldn’t stay on such a depressing topic. 

Moving on, you had the weekend to yourself. You’d finished your last lecture around 2 pm and made your way back to your dorm. Fortunately, your roommate hadn’t made it back from her classes, so you had the space all to yourself. You locked the door behind you and took a breath of fresh air.

“Finally.” You sighed to yourself, plopping down onto your bed. Shoes were thrown about and you laid in your bed, indulging in the feeling of relief. But, as expected, it was cut short almost immediately.

Multiple knocks were sounded upon the door. It was nobody but Ningning, your lab partner in Abnormal Psych Stats 2. She was a sweet girl, she truly was. However, she always found a way to be overbearing. But you appreciate her as she was the only reason you ever left your room.

You slowly but surely got up to open the door, greeted by Ningning with a big smile.

“Y/N, were you lying down?” She asked, leaning against the door frame.

“I was, but now I’m up. Come, come.” You told her, moving out of the way so she could come in.

She walked in, closing the door behind her and sat on your bed as you spruced up your desk.

You glanced over at her, noticing that she was biting her lip and she only ever did that when she was holding back from saying something.

“Oh God, what is it?” You groaned, knowing she was about to say something outlandish.

She smiled and sat up, “Okay, don’t be mad but I booked us two tickets at this restaurant over in Malibu. Yes, I know it’s a long drive BUT…it’s worth it. Please tell me you’ll come with me, pleaseeeee…”

You sighed, rubbing your jaw, “I can’t.” Her smile faded, turning into a frown, “I don’t have the funds for that. I just planned on grabbing a meal from the dining hall…I’m trying to save up for a plane ticket.”

She shook her head, “Don’t worry about the costs, I’ll pay, it’ll be my treat. I wasn’t in town on your birthday and I want to make up for my absence. As your best, and ONLY friend, it’s my job to treat you. So, what do you say?”

You sighed to yourself, again. You hadn’t planned on doing anything tonight. You really were looking forward to having some down time to just relax and catch up on some shows. You also weren’t the type to depend on someone to pay for your meal, but one time wouldn’t hurt, right?

“Alright. Fine. When?” You asked her, stacking papers atop of each other.

“Today, tonight, let’s leave before 6 pm since our reservation is at 8:00.” She said, “I figured we could stay the night? If we left by 6 and got there at 7:30 ish, we could check into our reservation and stay at a nearby hotel. It’d be nice to take a break and be on our own for a while.”

You nodded, ‘That sounds nice…but costly? Where’s all this money coming from, Ningning?” 

She smiled, “Let’s just say…my job is treating me well. Now, pack a bag, be ready by 5.” She hurried up and kissed your cheek as she made her way out of your room, closing the door behind you. 

So, a trip. A mini girls trip for a night. You were excited, actually. It’s been a while since you had a chance to take a break. You’ve never been to Malibu either. This should be fun.

Later on, you finished packing a small bag with a few essentials. You changed into an outfit you thought fit the Malibu vibe: A black halter top with beige flowy pants and matching back sandals. You clipped a mango-ish colored flower into your hair after you slicked it back into a ponytail and grabbed your bag. You touched yourself up a bit before walking out of your dorm and made your way down the hall. You knocked on Ningning’s dorm and waited for her to open it.

Once she did, she met you with a smile and walked out with her bag, locking the door behind her. “You look so cute, Y/N. We’re going to have so much fun, trust me.”

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You two soon made it to the restaurant with not a lot of time to spare as it was 8:00 on the dot. Ningning quickly found a parking spot and you both agreed to find a hotel after you ate. 

From the outside looking in, the restaurant was beautiful. It was right beside a beach with a beautiful view of the ocean; Moonshadows Malibu was its name, it truly was something you thought you’d never see in real life. As you two made your way inside, you were hit by the aroma of vanilla and solemn music, only adding to the overall dreamy vibe. A pretty lady at the front greeted you both with a wide smile. She held up two shell necklaces, “Would you ladies like a necklace?” Ningning looked at you before quickly nodding, holding her hands out to grab them. She gave you one as she slipped hers on her head and you followed after her, placing the necklace around your neck.

“We reserved a seat for two?” Ningning remarked towards the lady.

The girl nodded, “What’s the name?”

“Ning Yi Zhuo..” Nigning replied, nodding.

The girl nodded, “Okay, follow me.” She showed you both to the deck of the restaurant, seated outside right above the sand and beside the ocean. You were in awe at how beautiful the sunset was. Ningning thanked the girl as she placed down menus and told you both that your waiter would be over soon.

“It’s so pretty in Malibu…” You sighed, looking at the ocean.

“I grew up right next door to Malibu, actually. I always enjoyed coming here on vacation, such a nice place. Anyway,” She laughed, “What are you getting to drink? I brought my fake just in case…”

You smiled, shaking your head, “I don’t drink, Ningning. You’re always pressuring me to drink.”

She scoffed, “Peer pressure? I’d never!”

You rolled your eyes, “Sure. I’ll probably just get water, I’m trying to be healthier.”

“Aw, okay. I love that for you, but I’m still going to get a Pina Colada.” She sighed, pretending to jut her lip out at you.

You shook your head and looked down at your menu, suddenly feeling your heart dropping. The prices were high! The cheapest thing you saw was $20!

“Jesus, Ningning! These prices are literally so unrealistic.” You told her.

She shrugged, “You pay for the quality, not quantity. They honestly have some of the best food in Malibu, trust me. How about we both share an appetizer and then worry about the entrees later? Sounds good?”

“Okay, well, at least I'll pay for your gas. Deal?” You asked.

“Oh hell yeah, you can definitely pay for my gas.” She nodded to herself.

You closed your menu and took your phone out, capturing some photos of the ocean for later. You wanted to savor the moment. As the sun began to dip below the horizon, casting a warm golden glow over the beach, the waves lapped gently against the shore. The sky was painted in shades of pink and orange, while the clouds seemed to catch fire with the last rays of daylight. A few seagulls flew overhead, their silhouettes dark against the vibrant sky. The air was filled with the salty scent of the sea and the distant sound of laughter and music. It was a moment of peace and beauty that seemed to suspend time, as if the world had paused to take in the breathtaking scene before it.

Only, your attention was stricken as you heard Ningning whisper something. You looked back at her and her eyes were wide and signaling to the side of you; A waiter. Your heart skipped a beat as he drew closer, his smile dazzling and his eyes sparkling. He was even more handsome up close, with strong, chiseled features and a confident demeanor. You felt a sudden burst of nervous energy, unsure of how to act in the presence of such beauty. His voice was smooth and charming as he greeted you both. You felt an immense struggle to keep your composure. It was clear that he had an effect on you, and you simply couldn't help but wonder if he felt the same way.

“Evening, ladies…” The young man greeted you both, “Can I get you guys started with anything to drink?”

Ningning eagerly nodded, “You most certainly can…Y/N?” Hearing your name snapped you out of your mini trance and you looked at her in confusion. She widened her eyes at you, signaling for you to talk.

“I’ll just get some water for now.” You told him, clearing your throat. 

He nodded, “Water it is…” A small smile crept on his face as he glanced back up at you and playfully remarked, “But I’ve got a feeling you might want something a little stronger later on.”

 You couldn't help but feel a bit flustered by his comment, but you managed to laugh it off. "We'll see about that," you replied, trying to hide your growing attraction to him. Ningning, on the other hand, was not as subtle.

 "Oh, I think we definitely will," she said with a grin, winking at the waiter. You shot her a look, but she just shrugged innocently, “I’d like a Piña Colada, extra coconut.”

The waiter chuckled, clearly enjoying the attention. "I'll keep that in mind," he said before taking your orders and walking away. Ningning leaned in, a mischievous glint in her eye.

 "He's cute, isn't he?" she whispered.

You rolled your eyes, but couldn't deny that she was right. "Yeah, he is," you admitted, feeling a flush rise to your cheeks.

“He was soooo flirting with you, Y/N.” She laughed, “It’s time you got some action, anyway. 19 and still a virgin? Unheard of.” You shook your head, trying to brush off her comment. But deep down, you couldn't help but wonder if there was some truth to it. You couldn't wait to see what the rest of the night had in store.

As the night progressed, you and Ningning chatted about a multitude of topics. Life, college, boys, parties, homework, etc. You were glad you went out with her, it was just the breath of fresh air you had been needing these past few weeks. 

Oh, and of course, you’d stolen some glances at the waiter. When he brought back your drinks, he made sure to place yours down first even though Ningning was obviously positioned in front of your water. 

One thing he did that made his interest almost completely obvious was when he leaned down on the table to speak to you when you knew he could hear you just fine as he was merely a few inches away. You wouldn’t say you were flirting back. Although Ningning was urging you to do so, flirting wasn’t something you were familiar with. Why would a guy flirt with you of all people? Especially as your much prettier friend sat across from you. For all you knew, he simply could have wanted a nice tip. You wouldn’t entertain him much, you came to get a break from campus, not to find a fling.

Ningning turned her attention back to you when he walked away to retrieve you both some refills, “He wants you.”

You didn’t respond to her comment, choosing to turn your attention to the last sushi roll instead. You rinsed it down with the last morsel of your water, sighing internally when he came back. 

“One filet mignon for Ms. Lily,” He said, placing down your food, “And a scottish Salad for-”

“Lily?” Ningning laughed, confused at the name he referred to you as.

He looked up at her as he placed her food down, “Lily Flower, in your hair,” He glanced up at you, “It’s cute, by the way.”

You awkwardly nodded, “Thanks…”

He smiled and rubbed his hands together, “Well, I’ll be around. Call me if you guys need anything. I hope you enjoy your food.”

“Will do.” Ningning said, “One thing before you go…” He nodded in acknowledgment, licking his lips. “You single?”

The waiter chuckled, clearly amused by Ningning's boldness. "I am, actually," he replied, his eyes flickering over to you for a moment.

Ningning grinned. "Good to know," she said, winking at him. "We'll keep that in mind."

As he walked away, you couldn't help but feel a little jealous of your friend's flirtatiousness. But deep down, you knew that there was something between you and the waiter, something that went beyond just a passing attraction.

As you ate your meal, you found yourself stealing glances at him, meeting your eyes with his own whenever he walked by, feeling a rush of excitement every time he flashed you a smile. Finally, as the meal came to a close, he brought over the bill and once again flashed you a charming grin. "I hope you enjoyed everything," he said, his eyes sparkling. You couldn't help but smile back, feeling a little shy under his gaze. 

"It was great, thank you," you replied, trying to sound casual, knowing damn well that you were nearly shitting your pants under his intense gaze. 

He nodded, walking away to leave you both to the bill. Ningning shook her head, “If you don’t write your number down on this bill, I’m genuinely never taking you out ever again. This is a threat.”

You couldn't help but laugh at Ningning's threat, feeling a little embarrassed at how obvious your attraction to the waiter had been. But she was right, you knew that you couldn't let this opportunity slip away. As you saw the waiter returning to take the bill, you nervously scribbled down your phone number onto a small napkin, placing it beside the bill. You hoped that he wouldn't notice until you left as you didn’t want to make anything awkward. As he collected the bill, you tried to act casual, but your heart was racing with anticipation. You watched as he glanced down at the paper with your phone number on it, and you couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking. Was he interested in you too? Or was this just wishful thinking on your part?

“Thank you ladies, have a nice night.” He said as you both got up. Ningning nudged you to say something but you urged her out of the restaurant, wanting to abort immediately. However, just before you walked out of the door, you looked back at him once more. You saw that he tucked the paper into his pocket without a word, but then he glanced back at you with a small smile, and you felt a surge of hope. Maybe there was something there after all. 

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You two made your way into town with the windows down, allowing the breeze to brush through as you listened to the radio. You pointed out a nearby hotel that looked nice, actually. Pool, multiple floors, adequate priced rooms. It wouldn’t hurt to stay for one night in a nice hotel, afterall, you only live once. 

Ningning found a parking spot and you helped her carry her bag in as she made her way to the front to pay for the room. She made small talk in the elevator but you truthfully found yourself checking your phone to see if he had texted. It was already late, nearing 1 am. Surely the restaurant wasn’t open this late. Maybe he only smiled at you out of courtesy, afterall, Ningning had left a nice tip.

As you entered the hotel room, you couldn't help but feel a little disappointed that you hadn't heard from the waiter. Maybe it was a mistake to put yourself out there like that, to give him your number so readily. Maybe he wasn't interested after all.

Ningning caught the look on your face and immediately knew what was going on. "Hey, don't worry about it," she said, giving you a comforting pat on the back. "Maybe he's just busy or something. You'll hear from him soon enough."

You nodded, trying to shake off your disappointment. "Yeah, you're right," you said, forcing a smile. "Let's just enjoy the night." Ningning nodded in agreement, and the two of you settled in for the night, enjoying the comfortable beds and the peace and quiet of the hotel room. 

But as you lay in bed, your mind kept wandering back to the waiter. Amidst all of the doubt you held within your mind, you couldn't help but wonder what he was doing, where he was, and if he was thinking about you too. Maybe it was just wishful thinking, but you couldn't help but feel like there was something there, something that was worth pursuing. 

As you placed your phone down on the nightstand beside you, it vibrated. Your heart dropped, surely…a family member wasn’t texting you at 3 in the morning, right? You took a deep breath, glancing to your side to see Ningning asleep. You reached for your phone, feeling a mix of excitement and nervousness as you saw the notification; An unsaved number. Your heart leapt in your chest as you opened the message, feeling a rush of relief and joy when you saw the text.

+1 424-936-2945: “Hey, lol.”

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authors note: i hope you guys liked this first part of my ongoing series. i was kinda writing outta my ass. i got this out sooner than i thought i would so, yeah! anyway, let me know how you guys liked it and feel free to send in any thoughts you have. i hope to write this series in you guyses vision, not my own. reblog, likes, and comments are all appreciated haha. lmk if u wanna be tagged in the next chapter.

@voidbeomgyu 

[ilovewhiteroses]

Beautiful Stranger

Pairing: The Corinthian x GN! Reader Genre: Fluff, smut Warnings: Unprotected sex Rating: +18

You met a handsome stranger while shopping for clothes. You were sorry you didn’t get to spend more time wit him, until a few days later when you met him again…

"Look, here is a fortune-teller! Let's go, I want to know my future and I bet you want to know yours too!" said your colleague enthusiastically. It was Friday afternoon, you had already finished work and you went out for a drink with her, and on the way home she noticed the fortune teller. You didn't believe in such a thing, but you thought it was a good joke, so you went in.

The fortune teller lady told good things to your colleague, who was very enthusiastic about them, and then turned to you.

"Tell me dear, would you like to see your future?"

You thought of asking the lottery numbers as a joke, but if the woman was actually capable of looking into the future, she would probably spend her days in a luxury villa instead of telling people what will happen to them. You asked her a simpler question.

"Um, will any excitement get to me lately?" you asked, then got a little unsure when your colleague looked at you with a questioning look. Your life wasn't very exciting, your last exciting adventure was when you got stuck in the elevator at work for an hour.

 The lady looked into her crystal ball and said.

"I see someone…a tall, blond, stylish man."

"That sounds good!" your colleague said and squeezed your hand excitedly.

"You will meet him soon, but how things turn out is up to you." she said. You smiled in understanding and laughed to yourself. If only it was that easy!

You paid the woman, then you accompanied your colleague home and you went home too. You thought about what the lady told you while getting ready for bed. What if she was right and a hot guy really came into your life? However, anything could happen, you said to yourself.

The next day you went to the mall to look for an elegant outfit for next week's company dinner. There will be many wealthy and influential people, so you will have to look amazing. You went into one of the popular stores, where there were clothes of different patterns and sizes, so much so that one day would not have been enough to look through everything. The saleswoman approached you to see if she could help you, but you didn't need her. You found a nice black blazer, but it wasn't good enough, then you came across a dark blue sweater.

Ah, somehow that's not good either, you thought to yourself.

You didn't want to believe that you wouldn't be able to find something for yourself from such a large selection. As you were about to leave the store to go to another, you heard a man's voice.

"Excuse me, can I help you?" he asked and you turned around. "I see you are selecting and I thought I would ask if I could help." he said politely, with a pleasant southern accent. The way you looked at him, it was like you had seen him somewhere before. He was tall, blond, wore round black sunglasses and a long, dark coat.

Of course! It dawned on you what the fortune teller had predicted: that you would meet a man who looked just like that. Before you acknowledged the lady’s powers of clairvoyance, you reassured yourself that it must be a coincidence.

"Oh, thank you. You know, I'm invited to an event where there will be a lot of rich folks, so I'd like to buy something similar in style like that for myself."

"I see." the man nodded. "Well, I usually wear pastel colors or black, you can't go wrong with them."

"Okay. Hey, look!” you said walking over to the jumpsuits and taking out a black and white one. "For example, how about this?" you asked holding it up for him to see. The man's disdainful gaze almost shone through the lens of his sunglasses.

"That outfit would be great… for a Sunday brunch."

"Then it's not good." you said a little disappointed.

"I didn't say it was bad, just not for the occasion you need it for, and you wouldn't be able to use the toilet properly in it either. Oh, I have something much better, stay here, I'll be right back.” the man left you there. You couldn't imagine what he would come back with.

"Here I am!" he said showing you a pair of black suit pants and a light blue button up shirt. "I think they will be perfect together. Add an elegant pair of shoes, bracelet or a necklace, and you're good to go!"

You stared at the two pieces of clothing for a while, then took them from him and went into the fitting room. After a few minutes you came out to show yourself.

"Well, what do you think?" you asked as he whistled and clapped his hands together excitedly.

"Wow, look at that that! Amazing, you look fantastic in it!” said the man, smiling, enthusiastically. You were usually wary of strangers, but there was something about him that you find very attractive. From the set he chose for you, it seemed like he had a sophisticated style, and it really looked good on you.

You went back to the booth to change your clothes and went to the cashier to pay. The man also went with you, although in the end he didn't buy anything. You left the store and thanked him before saying goodbye.

"I am very grateful for the help, it was very kind of you!"

"Oh, it was nothing, really." he said with a nice smile and pushed the sunglasses up his nose. "I'm glad I could help. Enjoy yourself at the event!”

"Thank you, I will. Bye!" with that, you said goodbye to each other, and then both of you continued in the opposite direction.

The day of the dinner you've been waiting for has arrived. Not only because if you schmooze skillfully, even a promotion might get to you, but because you couldn't wait to wear the new outfit that the kind stranger helped you choose.

After dinner, you chatted with your coworkers and the other guests, and when you had a few free minutes, you were thinking about the handsome man from the clothing store. You remembered his sweet smile, his nice scent, and how excited he was when you liked the set he put together. He was a very handsome guy, you had to admit it and you were a little sorry that you didn't talk to him more, because maybe if you had invited him, he would have come with you to the dinner.

A few days later, you went to a bookstore because you wanted something new to read. Last time you read a crime novel, but this time you wanted something more creepy, so you headed for the horror section.

You looked at the titles and covers and spotted a book that looked interesting. You were about to reach out to take it off the shelf when your hand collided with someone’s.

It was the blond man from the clothing store...

"Ah, hello! Nice to see you again!” he said with great enthusiasm. You were surprised that he remembered you.

"I can say the same! Um, do you come here often?” in your confusion, you suddenly couldn't think of a better question.

"Not really, this is my second time here. I rarely read books, but when I do, it's something spooky. And you?”

"Me too." you replied, trying not to grin and act like an idiot around him. You were able to get a better look at him this time. He looked so good, no wonder you had trouble concentrating…

After some chatting and looking around, you decided on a recently released horror novel, he didn’t find anything interesting for himself. After paying, you left the store together. You quickly managed to catch a taxi and when you almost got in, you thought, now you won't miss the opportunity and turned to the man.

"Hey, get in, we'll take you too!"

He hesitated for a while.

"You sure? Is that okay?”

"Of course! Get in!” the blond with sunglasses sat next to you. You gave the taxi driver your address, then asked your fellow passenger if it would be good for him. He had no objections to it, he said he has business to do around there anyway.

The taxi started and you just sat next to each other, you didn't talk, you were like, there's nothing to talk about. As time passed, you had the feeling that the air between you was getting hotter, the sexual tension was growing...

Your hand rested on the seat beside you. At one point, your little fingers touched and you looked at each other. You were sorry. that you can't see his eyes. You would have liked to reach over to take off his sunglasses... You were embarrassed and excited at the same time, you even rolled down the window a little.

When the taxi dropped you off at your apartment and you saw that the blond man wasn't in a hurry yet, you asked him if he wanted to come in with you.

"Oh, well, thank you very much!" he said with a slight smile and you let yourself in. As soon as you dropped your keys in the bowl, suddenly something happened that you didn't expect at all: he pulled you close and kissed you without any warning. You were so shocked by this that you didn't know whether to slap him or continue kissing him.

"What the hell was that?" you asked, somewhat upset.

"Don’t play games with me, I know this is what you wanted! As soon as I saw you for the first time, I felt that there was something in you, something mysterious and sexy. If there weren't many people, I would have done the same thing right then, right there, in the fitting room." you were so turned on that you wanted to drag him to your bedroom. You kissed him back and you both leaned against the wall. You continued to kiss wildly, passionately, then he leaned down, kissing your neck. You gently grabbed his hair and sank into his sensual kisses. He stopped and turned you around so you were facing the wall, supporting yourself with your palms. He unbuttoned your pants and pulled them off you, then pulled down his too, you felt his hard dick on your bare butt. He reached down to your intimate parts and started stroking you.

"This is what you wanted, wasn't it? Are you enjoying it? Most definitely, because otherwise you would have stopped me.” He was right. You wanted everything but him to stop. In fact, you wanted more.

You let his hand turn you on even more than you already were. When he felt you were ready, he took his hand and spat into his palm, then smeared it on his cock so he could penetrate in to you better. He grabbed your hip with his other hand and pulled you towards him so that your butt was as close to him as possible. He whispered into your ear.

"Are you ready?" he asked in a husky voice, you nodded. He took his cock and thrust it into you, you moaned lustfully at the feeling as he filled you. He grabbed your hips with both hands and started moving slowly, then as he felt you getting used to his size, he got faster and faster, and soon you were moving at the same time. While fucking, you felt that all thoughts left your head and you only focused on the passion he gave you. When you were close to orgasm, you thought your legs going to give out. In the moment of pleasure, he buried his face in your neck, you bit your lip, and then you let the orgasm take you….

After you both calmed down, he pulled himself out of you and you went with him to your bathroom to clean yourself up. The man thanked you for the pleasant afternoon and kissed you, then said goodbye and left. You were still under the influence of the hot sex, but a few minutes later you realized something: you didn't even introduce yourself to each other, you didn't know the man's name the whole time. Although you two probably won't meet again anyway, you didn't really mind, in fact it was even more exciting and sexy that you were with a beautiful stranger.

Tags: @i-like-the-eyes, @spider-bren, @placeinthemiddleofnowhere, @merryandrewsworld, @duncans-vizla-honeybee, @boydholbrook-fan, @jessamydreams, @e-dubbc11, @harlekin6 

@destiny-rahl​,  @drowningnikki​,

@mirandkimy​,  @translat0r​  

@delicateteenagerunaway​, @imjustmessy​, @zealoussaladsublime​,

@lilithsdreams​, @cloudsofcondensation​, @blondehotbrook​,

@enkelimoonstone​, @bakerstreethound​, @amidalasruby​, @kittycat-kai​,

@hopeless-07​,  @miss-wednesday98​, @littlewierdalien​, @littlefoxgirl-13​,

@dahlinq​ @dayleis​, @idealai​

@icytrickster17​, @belladiaz​, @smileymissbee​

@foodlover123456789​, @lazy-queen26​, @yellowwithalisp​,

@onehundredyearsofyearning​, @constantron​, @violentviolet88​,

@strudelbug07​​, @underwater-garden

[xappetites]

idk why i keep thinking that Frank Woods would have a ranch somewhere? like there’s no animals or anything it’s just land and a comfortable little house dead in the middle of it

so of course he tells himself that it’s logical that afab Bell shows up at his doorstep like a beaten dog two months after the last time he saw her in Solovetsky, with less than ideally healed gunshot wounds from her second assassination attempt. Of course, it’s just that here’s a lot less likely that anyone would find her

And he takes her in, because it might’ve been fake for Adler but she’s fucking tore through hell right at Frank’s side with ample opportunity to either kill him herself or just let him get turned into mincemeat by the reds. She’s ended up under him more than once too, shaking and clumsy and laughing against his mouth in the residual adrenaline rush. More chances to off him, or to try and leverage his attraction to her, that she didn’t take. That Frank’s now convinced she wouldn’t take, not because she isn’t capable of it, she just likes sex too much to use it as a weapon.

She likes Frank too much for it, he realizes in the couple days it takes for her to stop looking over her shoulder with every creaking floorboard. When she asks him to drive her into town to exchange the small fortune in Swiss francs she smuggled into the country all the way from Zurich. He can’t fucking help it, the question that stumbles out of him without more than a second’s thought: ‘Why didn’t you go back to Perseus?’

Bell shifts, looks from Frank to the copy of John Hersey’s Hiroshima he’d given to her after a comment on nuclear armament even he thought was tasteless, the same book he caught her crying over months later and now sits in her bag, half buried in foreign bills.

‘I couldn’t,’ she says, then a minute later, as if it just occurred to her, ‘he’d kill me anyway, after Solovetsky’.

It takes a few more weeks for her to end up in his bed again, and she still smiles as soon as he nudges his dick inside her, still laughs at the burn of his beard on her neck. She still comes clutching onto him like he’ll disappear or leave, discard her as soon as he fills her. Bell mumbles out his name and Frank feels his heart caught between her fingers as much as his hair is at the moment, because for her that’s the most reasonable fear to have.

So he doesn’t. It’s not like he was gonna leave his own fucking house, which in a way feels like the only thing he’s ever really owned, but he won’t kick her out either. And he doesn’t mention her to a single soul who knows her, not even Mason. Especially not when she starts going out, more fearless each time; when she starts to teach a self defense class in town on Fridays or taking drives to the next county over whenever she has a nightmare, just to convince herself that she’s not in a fake town, and she comes back with a cheeseburger for him each time.

Cause then she starts to become his Bell again. The one capable of dead devotion, who chose to do the right thing in the end. The Bell that died twice and came back better every time, that saw an old worn fuck like him and called it home.

Bell, who he accidentally wakes one night when he comes sweating out of his own bad dreams and offers to join him for a cigarette out in the front porch, who convinces him to put on a sweater and settles on his lap in silence, blowing little smoke rings into the gold light of dawn.

The woman who cries against his shoulder when he lets spill that he loves her like horrible word vomit, and tells him she loves him too.

[mudhamster]

CHWHWN: 18. December - "compliment"

Kacchan: *image attached* If I had saved a dollar for everything you said, I'd be rich Deku: If you had written them down, you'd realize that none of them are exactly alike Kachan: here we go again: why + wtf Deku: saying the same compliment twice is so lame Bottom category lame Cliché lame Kacchan: go ahead then Do you want to do it in writing? Here? Or do you want to come over? I confiscated the Gamecube from Shitty Hair after he felt like yelling at eleven last night. Deku: ehm, in person then I'll be up in 20. I bring a pot of tea? Kacchan: Good one? Deku: Momo let me use her black tea if I follow the instructions I would make her a cup and then come and join you? Kacchan: yo

GHA Not only had Kacchan completely flattened the whole compliment thing. He had also casually invited him to his place to play, as if that wouldn't be the ultimate sensation, because: guess what, they had never done that before?!!!??  He stepped into the hallway and made his way to the kitchen to get the tea. He didn't drink black tea at all, but he'd been chatting with Momo this afternoon about her latest acquisition, so this was the first thing he'd thought of as an excuse to stall. A compliment. A single one. What was he supposed to say? Something about his looks? His eyes? He cringed and went into the kitchen. Momo's cupboard was one of the larger ones, fortunately, that he could reach without a chair. While he searched through the huge selection of black teas for something that looked like it might taste good, he kept thinking. Izuku could say something about the food. Which, to be honest, was only that delicious because Kacchan had made it all by himself. And because there really was a difference in skill between cutting potatoes and frying meat. Maybe he could praise Kacchan's patience in the kitchen. He had never seen him concentrate so calmly on a task for so long. At least not one that he could solve while pacing back and forth on the same square meter for two hours. He had already said that he liked the way he explained math to him. He put the kettle on. Maybe his athleticism? His stubbornness? But as soon as he started thinking along these lines, he could think of so many qualities he admired that he lost himself in thought for a moment. The water started to boil, then the kettle squeaked. Izuku looked at the instructions, truly concentrated, always keeping in mind that he was pouring hot water over a fortune here, and filled a small pot and even a large cup for Momo. With two small cups in his sweater pocket, the teapot in his left hand and the full cup in his right, he climbed the stairs and tapped the door three times with his shoe. He didn't have to wait long before the door opened and two big brown eyes looked at him in surprise. Behind Momo, at her pompous desk, he also discovered Shouto. They were probably working on a project for the student council for the new year and both looked rather … stressed. "I miscalculated my time," Momo sighed and opened the door for him with a welcoming gesture, "I only have two days left to prepare for the-" "Four," Shouto corrected, "You're still here until Friday. You still have plenty of time." "But you're leaving on Thursday, right?" Izuku's mouth twisted when he remembered that he still hadn't talked to his mother about her plans. Otherwise… For years, they had sat next to each other on Christmas Eve and watched the same movie reruns on TV. There wasn't much to plan and organize. But he should call his mother about it soon. Meanwhile, Shouto and Momo had slipped back into a heated, polite conversation, and he had to clear his throat to get their attention. "Yaoyorozu," he smiled at her, "maybe you'd feel better if you had your favorite tea?" She instantly fell silent, a hand to her mouth, hearts in her soft eyes. "Oh no, Midoriya," she breathed, and he grinned softly back, "your foresight is impressive as always!" Then she approached him and… carefully took the teapot out of his hand. Izuku opened his mouth to protest, but then closed it again. At least the tea would be appreciated here. He reached into the deep pocket of his hoodie and pulled out the two small teacups. They had originally been meant for him and Kacchan. She took them from him, visibly relieved. Shouto watched him from the table as he inconspicuously fluffed his hair in Momo's dressing table mirror and then made his way back into the hallway. "And what are you up to, Midoriya?" Izuku stopped in the doorway and turned around, "Kacchan invited me to a game." A grin appeared on his face and a red eyebrow raised. "Ah. Good luck then." "See you tomorrow!!!"

With the huge cup left over (which was actually for Momo), he finally made his way to the fourth floor and raised his hand to knock - just as it opened.

"Be on time next time, asswipe."

"S-sorry."

The room was completely dark except for the flickering television, but in front of the bed, Izuku spotted a small pile of pillows and two controllers. The tea was taken from his hand (was that a thing? Did he look like someone who shouldn't carry tea?), then he stumbled into Kacchan's room through an unexpected tug on his sweater.

It smelled like soap and washed laundry and Izuku closed his eyes for a moment in pleasure.

"You always smell so good."

The grip on his sweater loosened and with a self-satisfied snort, Kacchan fell into the pillows on the floor, tea and all.

"Now that that's out of the way, get your ass over here. I've been listening to that crappy startup tune for 20 minutes, I - "

Izuku had pulled his sweater over his head.

Cool air had blown over his ribs, then his shirt had slipped back to where it belonged.

"Sorry, what?" he asked and threw the garment carelessly over the chair. He got awfully warm when he was around Kacchan anyway. He might as well avoid it.

Katsuki blinked at him, "What?"

"I didn't let you finish."

They looked at each other and the room filled with flute music as the intro started again. Kacchan clicked his tongue disapprovingly and shook his head, as if shaking off a thought.

"… get over here, Deku. I invited you over to beat your ass, not to sweet-talk with you."

Apart from the fact that Izuku's insides were twisting around each other and his ears were ringing like little bells at that statement, he managed to stop himself in the last second from making a serious compliment about the potentially good dirty talk Kacchan could deliver. Who knew what such a statement would have cost him. His head, probably.

He mentally patted himself on the back, proud of his rare survival instinct, then sank into the pillow next to Kacchan, a controller already pressed in his face.

[tuttifuckinfruttifriday]

Something 'new'?

Pairing: the Grey family

Warnings: a bit of jealousy, mentions of satanism, Ghost(band) as a whole 🤷🏻‍♀️, maybe some inaccuracies but let it be, pls-

Summary: Archie finds an interest in the band Ghost, and for his birthday, his mother decides that they'll go see their show, as it's quite the experience from what she's heard... And she wasn't proven wrong

Here you go, a little something with the idea you said all that while ago , @randomly-a-fan 🖤😌

Might be a little shitty as I'm a bit rusty from not writing for so long!

Note; I looked up the setlists from early 2013, so I hope it makes it a bit more accurate!

-

Its been quite the week for the Grey family.

First off, Pennywise had a bad hunt, then Aquarius had a migraine, so both the parents were moody.

Fortunately, though, Archie was his usual self, Kandy too, as she doesn't understand mostly what's happening yet.

It was going to be Archie's birthday in a bit, so nothing could pull his mood off. He tried to cheer up his parents, taking care of his sister so they could relax some more.

No one had mentioned yet about if they would do anything for his birthday, which was a bit strange, but he didn't mind it that much. It was just a bit unusual as his mom always at least put up some balloons or something, even asked what he wanted. But she hadn't said anything yet. He still went on with his days, trying to be his usual self, excitement running through his veins whenever he thought about how close his birthday was.

*

Friday, the day right before his birthday, that's when he decided to finally mention it to his parents, almost scared that they might have forgot. His father had tried to joke and go around the subject, while Aquarius was unusually quiet

"...well?..." Archie asked, the boy a bit nervous, not wanting his parents to think he wanted anything, even though he did want at least a small something, even if it's just a crappy birthday card, he's a kid afterall, and still likes his birthdays...

"...*sigh*.. I've got you something , honey.." His mother try to soothe his nerves as she sees the unmistakable signs of his sadness. Both her and Pennywise smile as their son's eyes lit up with that.

They could see he wanted to ask what it was, but he didn't dare to, a part of him wanting to keep the surprise. His father did kind of give half of it away as he spoke next

"...remember how you told us about how you like the band called... Ghost, is it?" He said the last part with a wink, not having forgotten, surprisingly

His wife elbow his ribs, hard

She sushes him and swat at his arm, sending him a look, which he pouts at, not saying anything else

Archie seems to almost jump with glee as looks at his parents with wide and sparkly eyes

"oohh???... What about it?" He almost feigned being oblivious, as he knew his surprise might have something to do with it, which made his mother chuckle a bit.

"..you're not going to know until tomorrow. But I'm sure you'll find it worth it " she sends him a wink and leans over, kissing the crown of his head. He hugs her tightly, more than happy, as he thanks her, even without really knowing what was his gift.

That night, the boy had a hard time falling asleep, but he eventually did.

As for Aquarius, it was quite something. Thinking about her gift for her son, she remembered something of her childhood. She'd never told anyone that she'd actually grown with Ghost, she'd even been to one of their rituals/concerts.

With the thought of the band in mind, she'd dreamt of a memory, and it was something that she wished she could live again.

~

As a teen, pre-clown era, her parents were always against her to do anything they'd consider 'bad', especially going to concerts, or more specifically, rock concerts, thinking she'd become a devil worshipper. Being a rebellious teen, she'd decided to buy ticket for the front rows of one of her favorite bands at the time, Ghost. Her parents would have disowned her if they'd ever knew about her liking the band, but what they didn't know couldn't kill, right?

With the adrenaline working it's way through her system, Scarlett waited until her parents were off to bed before she sprung out of bed, sneaking out of her window, ticket in her pocket, band shirt on under a hoodie. It was honestly a miracle that she was able to buy it and keep it hidden, and she hoped it stayed that way, as it was one of her most prized possessions, one of the reasons being that she can finally have something that she wants for herself.

She caught the bus and went off on her way, pockets filled with her bus passes, some money, ear plugs and her ticket, as mentioned earlier. She didn't have much, but she hoped that she could at least buy a small something from the few merchandise items that there might be. It wasn't the first concert she'd went to, but it almost felt like it, especially for the fact that it was so 'taboo' with her family.

*

As she faced the small theater that the band would be playing in, the latter not really known (where she lives) at the time, she couldn't help but smile in glee, watching people make decent sized line in front of the building. She'd gotten in, doing the usual security check, then happily went on her merry way, scanning her ticket and entering the room they'd play in. She got down the stairs, passing by people with face makeups that looked like the newest singer's, 'Papa Emeritus the second'. She had hoped that maybe she could have seen the first Papa, but the earlier shows weren't near where she lived, so she waited, and fortunately enough, right after they'd changed the singer, she got news that they'd play in her town, so she immediately bought the tickets.

She was curious about the new 'Papa', having followed the story behind the band, how it's a project from the satanic church, which almost called her to go see at least one of their shows as to go against her parents. She had a hard time believing that the other members were really *ghouls*, but she didn't care, she loved the idea nonetheless, even if it was true or not.

Almost bouncing, she got front seat, the line the closest to the stage, her heart pounding with excitement despite the curtains still closed. She watched with wide eyes as people filled the room, bouncing her leg in nervousness.

After some time, when the lights dimmed down and everybody started to cheer in anticipation, she put her earplugs in, just as she heard the familiar rhythm of one of her favorite songs; Con Clavi Con Dio.

Lights flashed as as the room boomed with the sounds of the instruments, and she could feel it vibrating through her from how loud it was, but she didn't mind, her earplugs surprisingly doing a good job at blocking a good part of the sounds so she doesn't kill her eardrums.

She cheered with the other fans, eyes wide as she watched the papa they call 'Secondo' move towards the middle of the stage, mismatched eyes looking over the crowd. His makeup was menacing, his face too, even hidden under the paint. It made Scarlet shiver in anticipation and joy. He'd walked into the middle, at the mic stand, staff (?) slightly thudding against the ground until he stood still, eyes dropping to the first lines.

Maybe she was just being delusional or a fangirl, but she swore she saw his eyes lingering where she is. Or maybe he was looking at the person behind her, who knows. It didn't fail to make her heart jump in slight shock, though

As he started the lyrics, his other hand that is not holding his staff—which adorns a 'Grucifix'(their logo)— moving with some words, she slightly swung to the beat, despite the lyrics.

She enjoyed the show, having such a great time that she didn't even see the time pass as the last song finished. With a sad sigh, she listened to Papa Emeritus II call out how he had a great time and everything, do his usual speech, and then a music played lowly as they bowed and gave some guitar pics, and the drums sticks. She was oblivious to the nudge the satanic Pope had given one of his ghouls, one coming towards where she was still standing, watching people leave. It wasn't until she heard a gasp beside her that she saw one of the ghouls, the bassist, kneeled beside the stage, offering her a guitar pick. She blinked, blushing from being put on the spot, but reached up after seeing he really wanted HER to have it, not the fangirl beside her. After the show, she smiled big, heart racing in excitement and adrenaline.

It was quite a miracle she remembered all this, she thought when she woke up, realizing that what she dreamt of was in fact a memory. It did make her sad, but she was happy that her son would get a similar experience, hopefully.

Suspense ... To follow ;)

**

"C'mon, were gonna be late!" Aquarius called out, laughing when she sees Archie's eyes widen at the building in the distance, a theater-

"wait?? Really??" He gasped, mouth hanging open as he practically bounced in happiness, finally putting the pieces together...-

**

[mackeydoodledoo]

The Florals: Chapter 9

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x (Fem MC)Reader

Summary: You and your best friends are one of the most popular local bands. After a gig you meet the bartender, who has caught your eye and interest.

Chapter Warnings: Band Competition/Performer’s Anxiety, Relationship-Repairing attempt, Panic Attack

A/n: Okay, kinda got lazy writing the performance part of this chapter. Idk why but I find it difficult to write performance aspects lol

Chapter Key: Italic = Thoughts, [Words] = Song lyrics, +*+ = Time Skip

Chapter Theme: The Florals Competition Score Youtube Playlist

----------------------------------------------------------------

One week before the big competition... 

You woke up before Wanda, who was still asleep next to you. As careful as possible, you slip out of your bed and change out of your pajamas and get dressed for a long rehearsal day. 

When you arrive to the theatre, you already see your friends there.

“Helmets are here,” Lark holds up one of them

You practically run up on stage and help organize them with everyone. 

+*+

After helping one another organize the Impera Helmets and figuring out the clothing, the five of you begin setting up instruments.

“So this whole shindig spans 3 days, the final day being Friday,” Lark explains the email

“Who else besides us and My Heart Your Teeth?” Rose asks

“Vision.” Lark sighs in disappointment

Right... 

You forgot about him... But, you heard that ever since he and Wanda (mostly Wanda) had called things quits with him right at his album’s release party, he didn’t even chart. 

“Well, shouldn’t really be that hard,” You say, “Long as we keep our heads together, everything will of nicely.”

+*+

God it’s hot outside... 

The six of you enter the main hall for the arena... 

Whoa...

“We won’t be long,” You say

Wanda nods as you walk away to catch up with your bandmates to check in for the competition.

*Wanda’s POV* “Wanda,” A familiar voice calls you from behind

Oh... No...

You slowly turn around to see Vision... Slowly making his way to you. You immediately look around for Strelitzia to no avail. But, fortunately, Vision stops a several inches away from you; seeing how frightened you looked.

“What are you doing here?” You ask him, trying to keep the eye contact away from him

“I last minute entered this... Competition...” He says

“Why?” You ask, “You said this competition is for bands that are attempting to become big shots like you.”

He really isn’t a big shot... After I left him, his album didn’t chart in the top 10...

“I know but..” Vision says

“But?” You ask

“I’ve realized how much I've been sitting my nose in my music,” He says

Oh now he admits it?...

“But, it was to make a better living for the both of us,” Vision states

He attempts to gently grasp your hands but you back away in fear. He immediately straightens himself out. 

“Don’t touch me Vision,” You say, beginning to tremble

“Wanda, please,” Vision begins to beg, “I know you still feel something for me and better to act on them now and come home...”

He attempts to reach out to you again but you take another step back. 

“I said don’t touch me Vision,” You say, slightly louder

“Wanda please...” He continues to beg

You were about to turn away when you feel a hand on your shoulder. You look up and notice a familiar helmet that you’ve seen at Strelitzia’s rehearsals.

“Madam,” Lark plays their character, “Is this man bothering you?”

You take one good look at Vision, his face somber.

“Yeah he is Papa,” You play along with your girlfriends’ band’s characters 

You immediately retract into Strelitzia’s embrace. Vision attempts to reach for you however, Strelitzia takes a step back as she pulls you with her and Lark presses their hand on his shoulder.

“I do not recommend messing with someone apart of our Clergy... Vision,” Lark says

“How-How do you?” He asks

He doesn’t know it’s us?

He nods as he takes a step back, pivoting to turn his back to all of you and walks away. 

“You alright?” She whispers 

You look up at your girlfriend and nod. You look at him walking away, back to his managers and friends. You saw some familiar faces as well... Some of your formerly close friends standing around him...You pull yourself out of Strelitzia’s embrace and run off somewhere where your former friends won’t see you.

*Strelitzia’s POV*  You note Wanda pulling herself out of your embrace as you watch her run off. You take a glimpse at your friends as you turn to the direction Wanda ran in.

“Wands are you okay?” You ask, kneeling at her side

You take off your helmet, the awkward back face paint sitting on your nose.

“They’re all here...” She sobs, “They’re all going to try and gaslight me into going back with Vision... You saw how Vision was trying to grab at me...”

You sit next to Wanda as you pull her into your embrace again, trying to calm her down.

“Shhh,” You coo to her, gently brushing her hair 

“Please don't leave me alone,” Wanda begs, looking up at you

“Baby, in a heartbeat I wouldn’t,” You say, “But, I have to soon...” 

You would take her on stage if your were able to. But, apparently they’d put anyone who associated with the artist or band performing in the VIP area. But, your gut feeling told you not to do that.

“Can you get back up?” You ask her

You get up onto your knee but just before you could plant your feet, Wanda puts her hands on your shoulders.

“What?” You ask

She leans over and picks up your helmet and proceeds to put it back onto your head and then gave you a quick peck on the lips as she puts the mask back over your mouth.

“I saw Maria working backstage security,” Wanda says, “I’ll stick around her.”

“Do you want me to take you to her?” You ask

“I’ll be okay,” Wanda smiles, “Get back to them.”

You nod as you watch her catch up to Maria and her coworkers.

You head back towards your friends and walk to the VIP area to watch the first band that was scheduled to go on.

+*+

You take a deep breathe through your nose as you take your place onto the stage.

Now Presenting The Lore of Ghost, The Florals!

You hear the audience cheers echo through the arena: Rose waiting for the echoes to cease... Beginning her repetitive notes. 

+*+

You rush off the stage to remove your helmet and catch your breath.

“Hey Hey Strelitzia, it’s okay,” Wanda rushes over to you

“I’m okay I’m okay, just need to... Just need to...” You try to find your breathing pattern

“Hey, Strel, look at me,” Wanda tells you

You do...

“Breathe in...” She says

You follow suit...

“Breathe out...” She does the exercise with you

The both of you repeat that exercise until your heart beat 

+*+

The six of you head back to your hotel after placing all equipment into your dressing room’s storage. You and Wanda were tasked with bringing food back for everyone.

“What’d you think?” You ask Wanda

“Despite that I knew what instrument you were playing, I was thinking you were playing all of the instruments,” Wanda says

“That doesn’t answer my question Wands,” You chuckle

“You should know what I think, I think you guys were absolutely amazing out there,” She smiles, “I was just commenting on the fact it could be anyone of you guys playing each other’s instruments.”

“I mean, we can, but for the. competition part of this, we have to stick with whatever we choose,” You say, “But if we win, our encore, we can do whatever we want.”

You grab the food after the host calls your name. As the both of you exit the restaurant, you and Wanda see Vision...

“Wanda, may I speak to you alone?” He asks

“Whatever you have on your mind, I’m not going to be offended to hear about it,” You take a step in front of her

“Fine,” He looks at you, his eyes narrowed, “Strelitzia made you cheat on me to get with you.”

“What?” You ask, nearly chuckling

“Vision, Steel wouldn’t do that,” Wanda tries to stand up for you, “She was solely conveniently available and she was willing to get me to wherever I need to get to.She never would have done anything to compromise our relationship. You did that all on your own.”

“I was solely trying to build a better foundation for us,” Vision spews his excuse

“We had a foundation,” Wanda says

“But-”

“But, it wasn’t enough for you,” Wanda says

You turn around to see Wanda beginning to retract into the wall. You turn to her and place the bags of food next to her. 

“I won’t be long, I’ll make him go away,” You whisper

Wanda looks up at you, tears streaming down her eyes. She tries to smile but couldn’t in between her crying. You compose yourself and slowly turn to face Vision.

“Listen man, you have some real nerve trying to find us. Well, Wanda,” You start, “If you really think about it, that makes you a stalker.”

“H-How does that?-” He chuckles

“It definitely sounds like it buddy,” You say

“I’m not here for you Strelitzia, I am here to bring Wanda home,” Vision tries to brush past you

You force your hand unto his shoulder, preventing him from advancing any further.

“I don’t think so Vision,” You turn to him

“Please, I do not recommend keeping me from my goal,” He looks at you

“Wanda is not your goal anymore,” You say, “You can still continue your music career if you step back and walk away now.”

“My music career is nothing without Wanda,” He confesses

The both of you stop struggling amongst each other.

“So you rely on a single person for your music than just simply writing?” You ask, “That’s kinda dumb... If you’ll excuse us, we need to get back to my friends...”

“It’s not dumb it’s love!” He angrily states

From the corner of your eye, you see his bunched up fist. Last second you move your body out of the way; leaving Vision to punch air. 

“Vision stop!” Wanda pleads to him

You continue to dodge his throws: making him grow even more frustrated. Your amusement to his growing frustrations. However, in the midst of finding that amusement, you felt a pain shoot through your cheek and then your palms hit the ground, following your body. As you regain yourself, Wanda places her hand on the back of your head and back as patrons seated on the outside of the restaurant holding Vision back from hurting you even further. 

“Are you okay Strelitzia?” Wanda asks

“Yeah, let’s just grab the food and go back...” You groan

So the both of you do whilst Vision is being berated by the restaurant patrons.

+*+

As you enter the dressing room for your band, your friends stare up at you.

“You guys okay?” You ask

“Yo what did you do last night?” Lark asks

“Got dinner with Wanda, had an unfortunate run-in with Vision, then came back... Why?” You ask

“Vision got disqualified,” Pine tells you

“You’re joking,” You say

“Wish we were,” They hold up their phone to you

You take Pine’s phone and look through the roster for the day: Vision’s name being crossed off of the list.

“Dang,” You chuckle, “Guess he didn’t read the rules when his fist made contact to my cheek.”

The five of you watch through the TV in the room whilst running through Call Me Little Sunshine.

You walk around the stage as you continue to play the simple baseline to your ‘Ballad’ Song for the competition. 

From what you could see from your lens, the audience wasn’t particularly jumping out of their seats. 

Albeit it isn’t a high-upbeat song. 

But, you see Lark clap their hands on beat during the bridge: People began clapping along with them too. But, you could also hear some people clap off beat. 

+*+

The five of you hop out of makeup as your rival band performs after you. You all watch them through the monitor in the dressing room. 

“Jeez their voices are raspy,” Lark sighs, taking a drink of water

“That’s what happens when you do a lot of screamo,” Poppy states, “Doesn’t your voice hurt after singing though Lark?” 

"It does, but I know what my limits are,” They say

“We are further trained than they are,” You say, “Plus, we’ve been doing this since we were in diapers.”

+*+

You stop by Wanda’s room after concluding the second round of performances. The both of you lay in silence as neither of you exchanged words the entire time. You just assumed Wanda was either tired or still shaken up by last night. 

“Wands... You okay?” You ask, finally breaking the silence

“Mhmm,” She says

“You sure?” You ask, “We haven’t exchanged words since I got here.”

“I can’t simply lay in my girlfriend’s arms?” She asks, pouting

“No, not at all what I was saying,” You smile, “You usually make small talk or something. But, I am also tired.”

+*+

As you stepped out onto the stage you look up and see how the arena roof was opened...

Didn’t know this arena could do that... Let alone it being a full moon tonight either...

But, you also knew it was fitting for the song for the third round of the competition. 

You listen to Rose play in with an acoustic and play with Pine in her drum lead in. From there on it was smooth sailing.

+*+

“We absolutely appreciate every single one of you attending this year’s Pride band competition, we truly had some amazing bands perform over these last three days, however, there can only be one band to give you a show tonight,” The announcer yells through their microphone

You and your friends hold each others’ hands as the tension builds. 

Only one of us gets to win...

“The winner of the competition is...” The announcer slowly unravels the envelope

Can he be any slower?!

“The Florals!”

Enormous amounts of cheers erupted throughout the arena as the five of you ease the grip on each other eases and take a step forward into the spotlight and soak in the victory. 

+*+

Before the five of you set up to play your first three songs, you lift the bass to Rose: everyone but Lark and Pine switching back to your respective instruments. Gasps and murmurs in the crowd commenced as they all watch you switch instruments. 

+*+

As quickly as you could, you motion for Poppy to switch guitars with you. With only seconds to spare, you step up to the edge of the stage, propping your leg up on a stage monitor and begin playing the guitar solo. the crowd goes absolutely nuts as they watched you. you look down to the ‘All Access’ area, seeing Wanda and Maria watching; Wanda in particular. Her green eyes illuminated but the you couldn’t tell because of the lights. But, you knew by the look on her face.

You take a step onto the crates an inch below the main stage, kneeling towards the audience as you continue through the guitar solo. Despite your in-ears blocking out the outer sound, you could tell that everyone was going wild.

You hop back up onto the main stage right before the last few notes of the solo and within those few seconds: you switch back to bass guitar.

You and Poppy absolutely shred through the rest of the song: walking around the stage, interacting with your friends that couldn’t move off stage, and towards the crowd that were trying to reach for your hand. You move onto some crates that were a few inches shorter than the stage and lean toward them the safest way possible. 

[Right here Right....]

Your arm is raised: the crowd erupts into cheers, impatient for the final note. As if feeling the cue, all of you hit the note together and on time. 

[Now!]

The crowd erupts into larger and louder cheers as you slam on your improvised bass note. As the music fades out, you swing your bass around to your back and look down at the front row of people and make eye contact with one of them. You point at them as they do the same for you. You kneel down and with as far as your arm could reach: you slip your guitar pick between your longest fingers and place it into their hands. You watch them jump in excitement. 

You went back up to the main stage and take a bow with your four bandmates.

+*+

As soon as you went backstage, the five of you were pulled for an interview.

“That was some show you five have put on these last three days,” The interviewer says, “The way you all ”

Th microphone was held up to you.

“We’ve always known how to play many different instruments as you’ve said,” You explain, “It really just started out to be an experiment but then later concluded as a band that it would be a fun little thing to do. Make the audience sit at the edge of their seats, having them be in awe at the same time.”

“Now, for the encore song, you all switched instruments again, and the guitar solo, was that rehearsed beforehand? Intentional?” They ask

“All of that was on the fly,” Pine explains

“The time to find the moment to switch instruments was difficult no joke,” You say, “But, someway somehow we made it.”

“Wow! incredible!” The reporter dramatically smiles towards their camera, “You heard it here folks: The Florals win the competition tonight by using their multi-talent skills and stage presence to wow the crowd and the judges!”

You all finish the interview and make it back to the dressing room.

The five of you made it. 

+*+

After finishing the interview, the five of you change out of your ‘characters’ to celebrate the win.

“Rose?” Maria Hill’s voice calls from the door

Rose turns to her, in the middle of removing the black face paint from her nose. 

“H-hey Maria,” She blushes, throwing away the soiled makeup remover wipe

You noticed as she was walking towards the officer that there was some black face paint still left on her nose. But, you decided to let her find out for herself as she walks through the door. 

*Rose’s POV* “Let’s take a walk, you and me,” Maria head gestures to exiting the dressing room

You nod and begin to follow her out. But, not before Maria takes your hand into hers: lacing your fingers together. You didn’t expect Maria to grab your hand so quickly, but who were you to complain about it?

*Strelitzia’s POV* You easily took notice of Maria’s gesture but decided against telling everyone. You finish up removing your makeup as you look at the doorway; smiling. 

“Quite a show,” Wanda smiles

You stand from your seat and turn around, smiling as you saunter your way over to her.

“For you, my dear, always,” You smile

You slowly lean in as she does the same. But, before the both of you could have a moment and share a kiss...

“YO YO YO WHO’S READY TO-” Lark comes in, screaming, “Oh... We’re we interrupting something?”

“No, not at all,” Wanda clears her throat, “I won’t keep you five.”

“You... Don’t want to come with us?” Lark asks, genuinely offering Wanda to accompany you

“No no, I’m all people-personed out,” She sighs,”I’ll see you back at the hotel babe.”

Awkward silence hit all of you as Wanda’s fingers trail down your arm as she leaves. 

“Well,” You sigh, lightening the room, “What are we waiting for then?”

Chapter 10 (Final)

[willkatfanfromasia]

A Matter of Chance -15

Nandini beheld the imposing stairs leading into the humongous fort gates, accentuated by the plethora of courtiers, palace ladies and priests lining them.

The greatest threat however, was the beautifully coiffed woman standing at the top with a aarthi plate. Aditha’s arm went to her back, fearing she may run.

“Never let them see your fear” she mentally chanted. She loathed their smug self assurance. But she was no longer a nobody-the man escorting her was evidence- and all others seemed to fade.

The ones who derisively called her “princess of the temple pond” through childhood now looked at her with something akin to wonderment.

That woman herself looked at her with amusement. The gall of her!

If that woman was his sister, then she was his future wife. She was in no way her inferior. Nandini made show of needing help, causing her beloved to hold her extra tightly as she walked up the steep staircase, ensuring she leaned into him as much as proper. Her koparakesari Aditha could no longer be overruled by Kundhavai or Sembiyan Madevi now.

She relished seeing the noblewomen who dreamt of marrying her Aditha, greeting her with placid reverence.

The two siblings greeted each other with warmth, relief flooding the younger sister’s face upon seeing Aditha’s confident eyes after years. She then turned to her.

Suppressing her anger and anxiety, Nandini began to greet ilaya piratti Kundhavai devi with a vanakkam . She still has the gall to look at her afterall she’d done to destroy her life!

“A pleasant surprise to see you again, devi” said the imperial princess

“the Lord has sent me where he sees fit” was Nandini’s cryptic reply. Not that you cared when you ousted me was left unsaid.

“You’ve spent years in the temple. I hope you take to court life just as well” said kundhavai as her eyes twinkled. Nandini, not wanting to see her any longer than needed, gently squeezed her darling’s arm and he led her in.

The Emperor and Empress, vague figures for someone who’d never lived in Thanjai, seemed miraculously polite. Surely they must’ve approved what their prodigal daughter and aunt had done?

Perhaps their relief at their son’s return surpasses their distaste for the orphan she mused.

They announced that they’ve decided on a wedding muhurtham falling on the last Friday next month at the palace temple, as the couple nodded their assent.

Aditha’s smile radiated true to his name, lighting up the throne room. The nearby ministers all seemed shocked by the sight. Nandini was privy to many such smiles, but the hearts of his parents rejoiced.

It was the emperor’s sympathetic glances that became the curveball she hadn’t anticipated. With every word, the old couple’s eyes seemed to soften and she didn’t know how to react.

The day was turning out to be far odder than expected.

As she and Aditha walked away, she swore she heard the empress whisper “is that truly..did she resemble her?” to her husband.

She was far too exhausted to think about odd aristocrats for the day. Must make use of my good fortune she decided.

Nandini was growing used to the palace environs and regalia, now that they were no longer tools to oppress her. She saw them as additional benefits to marrying the man she loved. Though still in disbelief deep down, she decided to accept the status quo.

It was the least she and karikalan deserved for the misery they underwent!

She had just made herself comfortable in the chaise lounge, surrounded by maids sorting flowers when a lady-in-waiting hurried in and announced

“Princess kundhavai, accompanied by a courtier, is here!” making Nandini’s eyes pop open.

_------------------_

It was truly an odd day for Nandini, she had entered the palace whose owners had exiled her, as the fiancée of the man who crushed her heart brutally only to revive it later.

He tolerated her coldness and insults, sneaking back into her heart....... and his parents didn’t seem to want to kill her anytime soon.

The woman she never wished to see again was seated in front of her, with her usual self important air.

But most shocking of all was the person accompanying the princess- her Anna thirumalai!

This was not what she had in mind when he described his job as ‘important’.

Krishna’s leelas know no end, she mused.

Her discerning fiancé apparently caught wind of his sister’s presence near her chambers, and barged in – ever ready to shield her. He marched over to behind her seat, hands beside her shoulders and glaring daggers at his sister.

Deivame! Everytime she thought to escape kundhavai’s presence, Aditha would arrive giving her a reason to stay.

“Your piety has finally borne fruit, Archagar veetu penne (priest's daughter), you’ve reached your aim”

kundhavai had sworn to make amends for her bullying but old habits die hard.

Her eyes reddened, she dared to mock her thus after causing her downfall. “Indeed ilaya piratti, it is futile to resist His plans no matter how powerful a mortal may be” She shot a sugary smile.

Kundhavai understood that the other woman’s presence is integral to ensure her brother stays in Thanjai and bound to duty, especially now that the subjects have warmed up to her. The princess elicited such resentment that Nandini forgot the presence of her brother till he spoke.

“My dear, I always wished for you to be the second Andal but the stars seem to have something else in store for you. Being married to a man so great is still a good way to work for humanity” thirumalai a.k.a Nambi affectionately said.

She felt betrayed that he worked for the ones she hated. Was his piety a mere façade? Knowing she needed contacts to survive court politics, she donned a pursed smile. “It is a blessing to see you here, Anna”

Aditha, till now a mute bystander, egged his sister and their spy to get to the matter. He didn’t wish for her to feel overwhelmed and flee.

Her Anna took a deep breath and began

“Kanne, in my years here I’ve been privy to many secrets. There are some whom I know better than they do themselves. You have just become one of them”

Here eyes wildly shifted around. What did he mean? Why would she matter- she knew her life’s trajectory well enough!

Aditha sensed her unease and sat beside her, drawing a bangle laden hand onto his lap. He too looked on gravely as his sister.

“What I mean is- I know the circumstances of your birth – your real parents “ her Anna continued.

Nandini let out a mirthless laugh. “What? Is my ancestry worthy of noting now that I’m to marry a prince? They felt no regret abandoning an infant- what does it matter now?”

Even as a child she’d felt a restlessness- a gnawing need to find out her birth parents and question them. After her exile, she desired to find her birth mother and cry in her lap out of misery. But alas!

“My dear sister, karikalan’s soldiers found some shady people eyeing your hut few months back. They lured them away for interrogation. It was this that prompted him to visit the forest.

The people refused to speak up despite threat, bribery and torture. My associates did some digging to reveal that they were pandyan abathudavigal, staking out locations to hide their king before the Cholas attacked”

This unnerved Nandini, but she knew a lone woman living in the woods was prime target. “I thank you for chasing them away but …”

“They wished for you to join them. Your mother was the wife of our emperor by gandharva rites long ago. When he left for Thanjai, she was bereft and tried to end her life unsuccessfully- resulting in loss of memory. She was seduced by Veera Pandyan- her husband’s nemesis- before she regained her memories. Unable to raise her children alone, she gave you away”

Nandini felt her world crash- her father was the exiled pandyan king?

Before she could deny, weep or rage her brain caught onto one word- “children”

“Why the plural” was the only response, despite the storm of emotions.

“A woman who was in dire straits to produce a living child assumed her son to be stillborn. Your mother gave your twin brother to be raised by her”

Silence reigned but the question was obvious.

“Sembiyan Madevi regrets the tumult caused” kundhavai said, looking abashed for the first time.

@nashibirne @nspwriteups @vibishalakshman @thelekhikawrites @dr-scribbler @kovaipaavai @budugu @dosai-maavu @matka-kulfi @nirmohi-premika @yehsahihai @curiousgalacticsoul @rang-lo @harinishivaa @chiyaanvikram @celestesinsight @inveter @deepti1011 @vidhurvrika @itszhunotz @babayagahunt @thegleamingmoon @maisadalawa @ragkee @inlovewithfictionalbeings @happysharkdragon @gowrimenonop-1 @ramcharanobsessed @nature-writes29 @voidsteffy

[pink-tonic]

Did You Hear?📰

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Warnings: None

Me and Taeko are walking to school like usual, but something is different. She's frantically texting someone on her phone. I can see her expression change from a happy one to a worried one.

I decide not to ask since it could be something private, but I can't help but to worry.

She looks up from her phone and finally speaks to me,"They burnt down the bakery."

I tilt my head in confusion,"What?"

"Amao's bakery! Someone came by last night and burned it to the ground!" Taeko explains with tears in her eyes.

"Wait, so the whole building is gone?" I ask with concern.

She taps on her phone and shows me a picture. The picture shows what's left of the bakery, but it's not much except a bunch of black rubble.

"Oh...wow," I respond in disbelief.

Taeko's tears keep on flowing. My frown deeps at her reaction.

"Taeko, I don't think you should go to school," I tell her, "you'll be crying the whole day, and I doubt you'll be able to do any work."

"I-I don't think my parents would let me stay," she says through her tears.

"Let's go to my house and rest there, alright?"

"Okay."

We head back down the street and to my house. My parents are at work, so nobody will be there. I look down at Taeko's crying form, and I can't help but to wrap my arm around her. I hope this can bring some comfort to her. She walks closer to me as she wipes her tears away.

When we make it to my house, I unlock the door, and we both walk inside. I walk up the stairs, and she follows me. I open up my bedroom and we both enter.

"Go lay down," I tell Taeko as she steps in.

She lets out a small 'okay' and goes over to my bed. She sits down on my bed and takes off her shoes. She lays down and throws my blanket over herself.

"Do you want anything?" I ask her as I approach the bed.

She shifts her body, so she's now facing me.

"I'm kind of in the mood for ice cream. Do you have any?" She shyly asks as she looks up towards me.

"I think I have some. Let me go check," I tell her before leaving the room.

I go downstairs and into the kitchen. I open up the freezer and look for any ice cream. Fortunately, I'm able to find a pint. I head back upstairs with the pint, a spoon, and a napkin.

When I walk inside my room, I can see Taeko cuddled up with my blankets. I go over to her and place down what I brought. She looks up towards me and starts to get up.

She reaches out for the ice cream and spoon. She pops open the lid and starts to eat it.

"So... I didn't know you were friends with Amao," I state as I watch her.

She looks over to where I'm standing while she scoops up another spoonful of ice cream.

"I met him last week," she softly responds.

"Last week?" I question as I slightly tilt my head to the side,"I thought he wasn't here last week?"

"I didn't meet him in school," she tells me as she shifts her gaze away from me and then onto the floor.

"Then where did you meet him?" I ask as I take a seat on a nearby chair.

"Well, on Friday, I went into town to try and make myself feel better. After everything with Osano, I wanted to at least feel happy. I was sitting on a bench, and then Amao came up to me. He sees that I'm unhappy and offers me a cookie. We talked for a bit, and then we found out that we go to the same school," she explains.

"That makes sense. I guess, the two of you got close in a short time."

"Yeah..."

We both sit in silence, and I can't help but to feel a bit awkward. I never felt this before, but it feels like there is tension in the air. I look down to my feet, everting my eyes away from Taeko.

"(Y/N)..."

I hear my name leave her lips, but it's drained from any enthusiasm. I slowly look up to her.

"Yeah?"

"I think I need to tell you something," she says as she places the spoon and ice cream to the side.

"What is it?"

"You remember the note?"

"Yeah, of course I do. It still confuses me."

"I want to talk about the note from my friend."

"What do you mean? Didn't we clear that up?" I ask with confusion, I thought we were past that.

"My friend didn't send it, and she doesn't exist. The note was from me," she confesses as she shyly looks up to me.

"What?"

"The note you were supposed to get was from me, and I swear I put it in your locker. It had to be ours. There's no way I could get it wrong!"

"Does that mean?"

She takes a deep breath before looking at me,"Yes, it does. I'm in love with you, (Y/N). I was waiting on that hill for you, but you never came to me... I went home scared and heartbroken..."

"Oh, Taeko," I get up from my chair and go over to the bed,"You should've told me."

She looks up towards me with a glimmer of hope within her dark eyes,"Does that mean?"

Oh no...

"Taeko, I'm happy that you're telling me how you're feeling, but I don't think I feel the same," I admit to her. I can see the small hope in her eyes shatter at my words.

Tears start to appear in the corner of her eyes, and she starts to cry. She covers her face with her hands.

"I'm sorry that I don't love you the same way," I softly tell her.

"It-its okay. I-I can't ex-expect you to feel the same way," she struggles with her words, but I can still hear her even with all the pain in her voice.

I move closer to her and wrap my arms around her. She leans in closer to my touch and sobs into my chest.

The sounds of her heartbreak echos throughout my room. Giving my ears a harsh reminder that I was the one who did this.

The sobbing continues, but within five minutes, it dies down. Now, soft sniffles can be heard. I'm lost in my head as I keep hugging Taeko.

"(Y/N), you now have to tell me the truth."

I'm snapped out of my thoughts and look down at Taeko.

"What do you mean?"

"How come you always leave during lunch?"

Should I come clean now? She told me the truth about how she felt, but should I tell her about what Ayato did to me?

No, I can't. If I tell Taeko, she's going to get mad at Ayato and reject him. If that happens, then he is going to take his anger out on me. I can't have that happening.

"I got attacked," I lie to her.

"What?" She asks in disbelief.

"When I was in town, someone came up behind me and threatened to hurt me if I didn't give them my things. I gave him some of my stuff, but he still hurt me," I tell her as the lie flows out of my mouth.

"That's horrible," she tells me, "I'm sorry that happened to you."

"It's fine, but I go to the nurse's office to get my wound checked," I explain to her.

"When you kept leaving during lunch, I thought... nevermind," she trails off before ending her statement.

"What did you think?" I question. I'm interested to see what she thought.

"I just thought that you got tired of me, that's all," she admits with shyness.

"Why would you think that?"

"I feel I've been really clingy towards you. When Osano came back, I thought I would become less clingy, but he doesn't talk to me anymore... I just thought you got tired of me consistently being with you that you left to have some alone time."

"You're not clingy, Taeko. I really enjoy having you around. I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner about where I was going."

"It's not your fault, I just wish I wasn't so clingy with you. When Osano was gone, I started to feel lonely. I know that people admire me, but no one really comes up to talk with me. Ever since you came into my life, I started to feel happy, and I just got too attached to you."

"Do you think that's why you cried over Amao?" I propose the idea to her.

"Actually... yeah. I think that's why I cried since he won't be coming to school anymore, so that means one less friend for me," she tells me while wiping off a few tears from her face.

"Taeko, don't cry over that. You'll always have me, okay? I hate seeing you like this. Isn't there anything that you want to do to make you happy?" I ask, hoping to make her feel better.

"Well, I heard that there's this play, and they are doing their last show tonight. Can we go and watch it?"

"Of course, anything for you."

[theretirementstory]

19/05/2024. Does the photo above give you an idea of where I am this week? Yes I am still in Paris! Not as a tourist but as a patient in hospital. My third week here was “celebrated” on Friday, which just so happened to be Day 11 since the CAR-T cell treatment.

I don’t really know what to tell you about my week, without going into all the gories of this treatment. Suffice to say that after Pauline’s visit, I started with nausea and sickness. Then for five days I had said nausea, sickness, migraine and my temperature was up and down faster than a rollercoaster. I had bloods taken, one normal way and one through the PICC line. The culture produced from the blood from the PICC line showed bacteria so I either had an infection or CAR-T cell toxicity. I was put on antibiotics and the following morning I felt so much better that I managed some food. Fortunately, it was an infection, but for five days I had been feeling steadily worse and worse.

I really would not like to guess the number of transfusions I have had on this journey, which has now passed one year. Yesterday I had another two transfusions, hémoglobin and platelets. I have never given blood in my life, but to all those people who do, I want to say a heartfelt thank you.

Yesterday, Pauline messaged me with pictures of her visit to friends in Italy, one video showed her boarding a bus, she was heading for Rome, presumably for a couple of days before she returns to Barcelona. Her friend, who was pregnant, actually gave birth on Friday so there was also a photo of the new baby.

A friend in the UK, returned home from work on Friday to find her elderly Dad not too well at all. She rang the emergency line and a doctor was dispatched and it was recommended a trip to hospital. Early yesterday morning (after being up for over 24 hours) she messaged to say he was waiting for a CT scan. She messaged again last night to say still waiting news on CT scan 🙄.

It’s the music section and I just found this song purely by chance, it’s by Chris Rea, from 1989 and it’s called “And You My Love”.

The second song is from a lady who I have mentioned before in this section, the song is “No More The Fool” by Elkie Brooks from 1986.

Maud messaged me yesterday, she is still having problems with her family, hence why she hadn’t messaged.

Monique took the liberty of going to my home to photograph the garden, it looks in need of a lot of work to bring it up to snuff. I won’t be doing that straight away but at least I can do some little bits. The grass has grown quite lush and the gardener will be going to give it a cut this week.

Anie had messaged a couple of times, she had been visiting her sisters, one lives near Paris and the other one in Burgundy, where she is at the moment.

“The Reconnect Navigator” had another busy week at work. Then yesterday it was her Father’s birthday so it was all round to her parents house for a birthday drink. Still one day of the weekend left so I wonder how you are going to spend it?

“The Trainee Solicitor” was glad to see the start of the weekend but it has turned into an “action-packed” time again! Hopefully after a couple of meet-ups today you will get some time to relax.

“The Photographer” has signed a contract for a new job and will be starting mid June. This weekend he is busy with his children and hopefully I may get a video call. My grandson has had “slapped cheek syndrome” but has not really felt ill with it.

“The Jetsetter” has either left Vancouver or is due to leave today. However, that won’t be the suitcase being packed away when she gets home, there is still more to come!

A quick update: “The Jetsetter” landed in London earlier this morning and is currently making her way to the train station for the journey home.

That’s another week’s roundup at an end. I hope that this time next week I am able to look out into my garden, if not, I am sure there will be something I can pass onto you.

Jusqu’à la semaine prochaine.

[mubal4]

Pine 50k Race Wrap Up: 50K Race – Pine Strawberry Fuel Reduction (psfuelreduction.org)

Just like most of this year to date, things took precedent in getting this out last week following the race. This year has been filled with a lot of figuring things out. What I mean is, we’ve had to make many decisions where mitigating uncertainty hasn’t been very clear. However, we’ve kept moving forward and when we do that, we end up getting to where it is we intended to. Typically, not pretty but it usually never is 😊.

The Pine 50k, back on May 4th, had a similar story, as these races usually prove. This was my 2nd time running this race with the first being 2 years ago, their inaugural one. The race takes place up on the Mogollon Rim - Wikipedia. Over the last year, I’ve spent much time up on the Rim, training for and racing in last year’s Mogollon Monster 100. I’ve grown quite fond of this area of AZ, and it no longer had that intimidating aura since last September. However, my week leading up to the race was certainly not idea. I was on the road all week, getting home Thursday night and had a quick turnaround to head up to Pine, AZ (race location) Friday night. Fortunately, my wife Robin was making the trip this year to support me. Unfortunately, however, throughout the day Friday, I was having stomach issues and feeling nauseous. Sometimes when I fly, this happens but not nausea. Certainly, unique, and definitely not ideal heading into the race Saturday morning.

When I got up and went through my normal routine, I felt the stomach issues would subside, but unfortunately, they did not. We were going to toe the line and see what the day was going to bring……a motto we’ve been navigating 2024 with 😊. We had a 6am start and temps were hovering around 40 degrees and throughout the day, they wouldn’t get above 70*, if that; the weather couldn’t have been better. Robin was gracious enough to get me to the start and hang around until the shuttles left. We planned on meeting at a familiar aid station, around mile 20 and then again at the finish line.

The first 10-12 miles are on the Highline Trail, mostly single track with some ups and downs; no real significant climbs. It had been since the Mogollon Monster that I had been up here, so I was enjoying the beginning miles and trying to shake off whatever was going on with my stomach. The first aid station is right around mile 9-ish. There I fueled up and replaced my liquids, which I was trying to stay on top of. I was hoping to grab some ginger ale or candied ginger to see if that would settle my stomach but no go, unfortunately. From here, the next four miles was a trek up the face of the Mogollon Rim. At first it was a gradual climb, however the higher you got the more technical and steep it became. I had been working on vert over the last two months, so the climb wasn’t terrible, but it did grind a bit at the top. Once there, another aid station for a quick breather and then the next 7-ish miles were on top of the Rim, on forest service roads, and very runnable, which felt good after the climb. Plus, I would be seeing Robin at the next aid station before descending back down to the finish.

This stretch was good, and the miles seemed to click off, however, this is when my stomach felt the worst and the nausea was at its roughest. I had some nutrition with me and loaded up on electrolytes and water, just nothing sounded good to me. I just kept moving and knew that I would be able to collect myself once I saw Robin. When we did connect, she forced me to eat an orange, some salty chips, and she had seltzer water, which for some reason sounded fantastic and tasted even better. I spent about 5 minutes getting myself together before moving on knowing I’d see her again in about 13 miles.

At this point of the course, we head, steeply down into the Pine Canyon – you can see the pictures from the top (amazing……) for a few miles. At the bottom, for some time, we are under the cover of pine trees (hence the name of the town 😊) before breaking through to being complexly exposed for the last 7 or so miles. Again, fortunately the weather was great and there was a breeze as well, so we just kept on moving forward. About 4 miles from the finish, there is the last aid station. Just one pivot here, the aid stations, all of them, I believe were staff by local volunteers and several of them were veterans. These folks were incredibly nice and so encouraging. I felt that at each aid station I was entering their home, and they were welcoming us with open arms. At this last one in particular, they helped fill up my bottles, poured some ice-cold water over my head, and sent me on my way with some laughs.

Interestingly enough, a few miles prior to that aid station and currently, I wasn’t having any stomach or nausea issues; I was actually feeling the best I had for the last two days, and my pace seemed to express that. It felt like I was moving faster now, with a few miles to go, than I had all day. I had begun to feel the finish near and as I was heading into the last trail head, before hitting the final 1 mile, I was looking forward to finishing and reflecting on the day, when bam, I caught my right toe on a rock and ate it like a champ. With dirt and dust all over the right side of my body and some nice scraps on my right arm, I dusted off my pride, laughed it off a bit, and continued through to the finish.

Overall, the day was quite interesting and a great learning experience. The way my body felt before and during, my mind as well, was a bit unique than other races. It was a grind, in some ways, however my body, other than my stomach, felt incredibly awesome throughout the day. It felt easier than 2 years ago, and it seemed to show. I am grateful to have had the chance to experience this again and to have Robin there was fulfilling. Many thanks to the race directors, staff, volunteers, the other competitors, and crew folks. Really enjoy spending time in Pine and will likely have a few more visits up there this summer. As for race plans, we’ve decided to take the summer off and refresh. It has been a long two years of grinding, and we have some time before starting to gear up for an October race. In the meantime, enjoy the pictures and if you can, get yourself up to the Mogollon Rim.

[clivemwilliams]

Tobago 2024

Friday 26th April

Last day at the lodge and no bird tours to occupy us so we decided to do our own thing and took ourselves off on a small trek in the surrounding forest and surprisingly it transpires you don’t really need a guide at all as we found plenty of wildlife to keep us amused for a few hours (well a few birds and butterflies anyway)!

Judith insists that I report how grateful I am to her for, once again, coming to the rescue when I discovered that our washbasin had no plug. Judith’s emergency travel plug was just the job and I acknowledge her formidable planning and list-making skills.

After lunch we made the short transfer to Castara, our home for the next 7 nights. We were picked up by a lovely taxi driver who had brought her neighbour along for the ride and somehow turned what should have been a 15 minute journey into a very slow crawl.

However, that was secondary to the major news story in the Caribbean – British man attacked by a shark off Tobago beach !! There has never been a shark attack here before so it’s the main talking point wherever you go. Several beaches have been closed while the authorities seek to ‘neutralise the shark’ – I think we all know what that means ! Fortunately our beach has remained open although I’ll definitely be taking extra precautions when we get down to the beach tomorrow – needless to say Judith features prominently in my plans!

We are staying in a self catering apartment with great views over the bay. Judith has somehow managed to lock our valuables in the safe and is now unable to open it ! She wasn’t too impressed with my idea of starting at ‘000’ and going through every possible combination !

Not long after our arrival a preacher turns up on the beach with a massive loud speaker system playing pretty good gospel music followed by peaching of the gospel, Caribbean style. Similar to a Salvation Army open air meeting!

Nice meal tonight overlooking the bay – unfortunately same old Judith problem – lots of fish and the possible alternative lamb dish was a curry and Judith doesn’t like curry. However, they did have meatballs as a starter so all was not lost.

Early start tomorrow as we’re off on a rainforest tour.

[unseededtoast]

Rectify | Bucky Barnes

Part 1/37 | Part Two

Summary: I've lived every day for the past five years looking over my shoulder. I knew they'd come for me, it was inevitable. I was foolish to think I could outrun my past. It's followed me everywhere I go, lurking in the shadows, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. Never would I have anticipated that the shadows would lead me to the light.

Bucky Barnes x OC

Series Warnings: Discussion of human trafficking, alcohol consumption, graphic depictions of violence, sexual content, discussion of suicidal thoughts.

a/n: Hi everyone, thank you for checking this out, I appreciate any and all support! This series is also posted on Ao3 and Wattpad if you prefer those formats/platforms! This is a completed series, and it's going to take some time for me to transfer it to Tumblr, so please bear with me!

Memory is fragile. It can be corrupted, suppressed, removed from the subconscious. Memory is what makes us, us, in a way. One day when you're old memories are all you will have left, if you're lucky. Sometimes people aren't fortunate enough to retain those memories, be it from disease, or trauma, or deliberation.

I look at the clock hanging on the wall in my office and close my laptop with a soft click. Tucking the laptop between my torso and arm, I grab my keys so I can lock my office behind me. My heels click on the polished tile floor as I head to my next class, the last one of the day. I should be relieved that the day is almost over with, but this is the class I dread the most. The majority of the students seem uninterested and it's discouraging because I believe it's one of the most fascinating topics.

Fighting back the pessimistic thoughts, I walk into the classroom and start setting up the lecture powerpoint as the students file in and take their seats. It's a Friday afternoon and I already know I don't want to be here any longer than my students, it'll be a short lecture today. I walk to the center of the room and look at my students. Half are looking back with tired expressions, others are clicking their pen, and very few look like they actually want to be here. I lick my lips and shift my weight to one foot.

"So, who actually did the reading I assigned on Wednesday?" Maybe five of the thirty students raise their hand. I nod and pick on one of them,

"Can you tell me, Sarah, which part of the brain is responsible for memory?" Sarah was always the quiet one of the class, yet she's so brilliant. I wish she had more confidence in herself, I've been trying all semester to show her how smart she is; yet she continues to shy away.

"Um, I believe the part of the brain responsible for memory is the prefrontal cortex?" She states as a question. I know she's capable of a deeper answer, an answer more well-rounded than the other students can provide. I nod with a smile on my face,

"Yes, you're right, the prefrontal cortex is one of the parts associated with memory. Can you tell the class the specific part that's associated with episodic and recognition memory?" I know she knows this.

"Is it the hippocampus?" I nod once again and turn my attention to the rest of the students.

"The hippocampus is right. There are four main areas of the brain that are related to memory. As Sarah said, the prefrontal cortex and hippocampus are two. The others are the amygdala, which is related to fear and fear memories and the cerebellum, which deals with routines or procedural memories." The students still look bored and uninterested. I bite the inside of my cheek in frustration. Why did they bother signing up for this class if they're not going to pay attention? I take a deep breath and push that thought away, wanting to get through this class and go home to drink a glass of wine on my couch and watch trashy reality tv.

"Memory is fragile. It can be corrupted, suppressed, removed from the subconscious. Memory is what makes us, us, in a way. One day when you're old memories are all you will have left, if you're lucky. Sometimes people aren't fortunate enough to retain those memories, be it from disease, or trauma, or deliberation." I click to the next slide which shows a brain afflicted with Alzheimer's. I watch as some students jot down what I'm saying, the few who are paying attention.

"There's current research being done trying to figure out if Alzheimer's is reversible if caught early enough. Alzheimer's is unique because as you can see, the disease destroys the brain, and takes the memories along with it. Unfortunately, at this time, people diagnosed with Alzheimer's typically only live four to eight years after their diagnosis. But we remain hopeful that a cure, or treatment, is found. With advancing technology it is likely that within the next decade some answer will be discovered. As you may know, I have received funding in order to research the possibility of a treatment, and I'm still hoping that one or two students will join, it will be phenomenal experience to add onto your resumé. " I click to the next slide and see the back door of the classroom open. A man sits down in the corner seat, he looks too old to be a student, and he didn't bring anything with him. I turn my focus back to the class and lose my train of thought.

"Does anyone have any questions at this point?" I ask, not remembering what I was going to say next. Someone's hand goes up and I nod for them to ask their question.

"How likely do you think it is for someone to regain their memory after a traumatic experience?" One of my students ask and I see the man in the corner lean forward in his seat, he seems to be intensely listening. His presence is unnerving for no particular reason, but I don't want to seem rude if he's a faculty member or a potential research sponsor.

"Well, it may take some therapy and counseling to unearth the suppressed memories. Typically when people are introduced to a traumatic experience at a young age their subconscious tends to bury that memory in order to protect them. I can't say with absolute certainty that someone with suppressed memories can ever get them back. I'm not sure they would want to remember what their mind deemed unfitting. But it's also not entirely impossible, this is usually a case-by-case basis." I answer the question in what I hope was a satisfactory way. The student nods, and once again the man in the back stirs in his seat. My stomach twists with anxiety and I feel like my shirt's collar is choking me. I tug at the collar to get it away from my skin and decide class is over.

"Okay, well, I think I'm going to cut it short here. Please if you didn't already read what I had assigned on Wednesday, do it. It will be on the quiz." I say and walk over to the podium and grab my laptop.

I hope my anxiety is acting up, and the man is merely an observer or potential sponsor. Maybe I was under evaluation. If that's the case I surely failed. But something just isn't sitting right with me about the man. I make a direct line for my car, fumbling with my keys. My palms are sweaty and I just need to get home.

"Where are you off to in such a hurry? Got a hot date or something?" A voice calls out to me. I look up and see the man from class walking towards me, hands in his pockets. I swallow and try to force a smile, hiding any signs of being anxious about his presence.

"Actually, I'm just headed out to meet my husband. He's expecting me for dinner." I say with false confidence, hoping he doesn't see through my lie. He reaches my car, looks me up and down and raises an eyebrow. I don't think he bought what I was selling him.

"A husband? Hm, I guess they forgot to mention that part to me. But I digress, that was a very insightful lecture, professor Averina." My heart freezes on the spot and I feel like my blood is running cold. My name isn't on the outside of the lecture hall, he knows I'm lying about my marital status. I push the anxiety back and continue with the aura of false confidence.

"Thank you, I'm very passionate about my work. And if you don't mind me inquiring, were you asking around about me?" I question him, looking around the empty parking lot for anyone else but seeing nobody. I don't have a weapon on me and I'm not confident that this man is here for my wellbeing. He laughs and shakes his head,

"Oh no I wasn't asking around about you. Some old friends who haven't seen you in a while told me all about you and what you're up to these days. They're curious if you're enjoying your vacation abroad. They miss you, they sent me to see if you're okay. Oh, and they also wanted me to tell you that you've got a one way plane ticket with your name on it. Hope you still have a winter coat." I adjust the keys in my hand, the pointy end sticking out from my palm. I nod my head as he finishes speaking,

"Well, you can tell those old friends that I'm not going back, and I got rid of my winter coat." Quickly, I slash the man's face with the key. He grunts and holds his hand to his cheek where there's now a jagged bleeding line. His eyes go dark with anger, and I know I have to get out of here fast.

I get in my car hastily and weave through traffic, needing to get home quickly. Of course the traffic is congested when I don't have the luxury of time to wait. I know the man is likely behind me, I just don't know where. I need to get home and pack, I need to get out of here. I'm no longer safe. I continue pushing my way through the traffic and pull into my driveway with a small squeal. I leave my car running as I rush to the house. Flinging the front door open, I head straight for my bedroom and grab the book from my nightstand. I find a bag underneath my bed and stuff the book in there. Rapidly, I pull open some drawers and shove handfuls of clothes in there as well and swing the bag onto my shoulder as I turn to leave. As I turn into the living room I freeze in my tracks, my breath catches in my throat.

The man is standing in the main doorway of the house, angrily staring at me with blood dripping down his jaw. I drop the bag, knowing he's not going to let me leave here without a fight. He lunges at me and I dodge it, thankfully. He's being fueled by adrenaline and rage. I grab a lamp from an accent table nearby and smash it against his head, disorienting him. I shove past him, grab the bag and go to my kitchen to get a knife. This is the only way I'm getting out of here. The man comes back to his senses and follows me to the kitchen, where I'm pointing the knife at him.

"You can't kill me. You need me alive." My voice wavers as he wipes blood from the hole in his cheek and smiles sinisterly. My hands are shaking and I know I'm not intimidating to this man.

"We don't need you, we are way past that point. However, we need what you have to finish our newest project." He says and eyes my bag. Any leverage I thought I had is gone. He lunges at me again, and I unskillfully thrust the knife forward. His weight knocks me over as he dodges the attack and we're both on the kitchen floor. My eyes dart around for the knife that flew from my hands, I know I have to act fast. I fumble for the knife and manage to grip the wooden handle as the man grabs my calf and pulls me toward him.

I kick my feet frantically and he loses his grip on my leg. I use the momentum from my kick and manage to stand. As the man tries to rise to his feet, I kick his ribs which sends him right back to the floor. I use my foot to roll him over so his back flush against the floor. In the blink of an eye, the man pulls a gun on me as I plunge the knife into his chest, just below his sternum. It's surprisingly easy to cut through the flesh.

With adrenaline coursing through my veins, I pull the knife out of his chest and stab the man in the neck which sends blood spurting everywhere. I stumble back from the dying man and push the hair from my face as I turn and grab the bag that slid across the floor and run to my car.

The blood on my hands makes it difficult to grip my door handle and the steering wheel, it's being smeared over everything. With shaking hands and a racing mind I pull back out onto the road and know I've run out of options. There's only one place I can think of that can offer me the level of protection I need. As I speed towards the only chance of safety I have, my breathing becomes erratic and I hold back sobs.

I just killed a man, I plunged a knife into his jugular. I feel sickness rise in my throat but manage to choke it down. I'm not even sure that the traffic lights are green as I speed down the metropolitan roads, but I don't care I just need to reach safety.