#for the smartest mind of his generation my guy is an IDIOT

[feral-queercore-punk]

ugh i would immediately walk out too

not wei wuxian saying “it’s, uh, normal for men to do stuff like this once in a while” immediately after like ????

[mangoshorthand]

Hey. I saw your comment on someone elses blog and was wondering if you could share some tips on how to write five's speech patterns???/five in general? if not its totally fine but personally i think hes got such a distinct way of speaking that i find hard to capture

I can recommend trying to get into the character. I find the right words come when I'm inhabiting that energy. I react to the situation I'm writing about as Five, and his speech patterns come from that.

I tend to move like he does as I write, I might come up with dialogue while moving as he would in the situation, I sometimes pull the faces he might pulls. I end up with a lot of tension in my neck and jaw.

You've got to really get your mind into his. He's an old man who by default thinks he's the smartest guy in any room. He's usually really fucking busy too, and yet he has to pause to explain things to these goddamn idiots who are just holding him back!

I think I'll focus on Five's use of questions as one concrete example.

He loves asking questions for rhetorical effect, particularly when being an arrogant prick. He can be a bit of a showman. I often describe him like a teacher or a grim gameshow host in these moments.

e.g 1) "Now why would I do that?"

e.g. 2) "And why do we not speak to our doppelgangers?"

("because of paradox physchosis?")

"Exactly."

But when he's challenged on the notion that he knows the most in the room, he suddenly becomes very serious and focused. He must gain the knowledge he's lacking.

He'll suddenly become very pointed and direct. Depending on the situation and his relationship with the other person, he might become slightly threatening

e.g. 1)

"Explain."

e.g. 2)

"And what's the effect of the bootstrap paradox?"

e.g. 3)

"You better start making sense, because I am about this close to pulling out your fingernails with tweezers."

[loderlied]

got tagged by @spyridonya to do this oc tag game! thank you <33

Favourite OC: Ven and Oleander!!

Newest OC: Yelena, Shana’s sister who has an obsession with the stars

Oldest OC: N! the creepy meat guy with the too many hands.

Meanest OC: both Sol and Niendayphyll. sol has a disgusting attitude towards others, but does not revel in their hate—when they kill it’s quick and painless with most victims. niendayphyll thinks of 99% of the population as simple minded and more importantly to her, weak fools.

Softest OC: genuinely don’t think i have one of those lmao

Most Aloof OC: probably wual now that i think about it. she willingly isolates herself from everyone for most of her life. she’s also very cold (not just because he’s undead lol) and stoic in general.

Dumbest OC: niles. oh my god niles. so sorry man but you’re a fucking idiot. y’know what i’m not sorry he’s a terrible person lol

Outgoing & Smartest OC: shana. kicks his ankles viciously

[muchadoaboutnot]

just some general talking

"Are you making stuff?"

"Stuff." He mocks her, his voice full of disdain yet distorted. Her earbuds crackle as they try to hold onto the signal the best they can, while her feet have her traveling along the Gotham pier. Well, one of many piers. But one that interests her for a case.

The only thing off is that the person on the other line is The Riddler.

"The drivel that comes forth from your mouth is astounding, did you know that? Stuff. I know your comprehension is better suited than using the term: stuff."

"Not everything I say needs to sound like it's coming from a dictionary, sometimes using the simplest terms is the smartest way."

"That's only if the other person is inadequate in recognizing, 'big words' and if that's the case perhaps they shouldn't be speaking at all."

"Hey, you called me! So there has to be a reason other than you wanting to hear your own voice degrade me. I mean... How about if I call you an idiot every-"

"You wouldn't. Because I'm not an idiot."

This time he interrupts her for once. The back and forth is not unfamiliar now. Several traps, puzzles, riddles, and challenges later- Mina has found some weird middle ground with The Riddler of all people.

"Right..." She draws her answer out, as she's sure if he could see her expression he'd most likely take offense. As it is they only speak or text each other. So his next words are unaffected by her reply that to him sounds like an affirmation.

"Precisely. Glad you agree."

Smug. Self-satisfied are his words and tone.

It makes her roll her eyes yet she stays on the line with him.

"I digress, however. Yes. I've got something for you to do."

"I'm not your henchperson. I really shouldn't even be talking to you or having anything to do with you, I'm just... Wait."

As if it hits her like a head-on collision, Mina stops herself, literally. Staring down at the dark waters below her.

"Am I like a guinea pig? Are you seeing how I solve things so then you can change your plans and make them harder?"

"No."

His reply is so swift it bruises her ego and she makes a disgusted face, sticking her tongue out at an imaginary Riddler she conjures up in her mind's eye.

"Don't get me wrong. That's certainly a valid idea, for us both, loathe as I am to agree with you. But no. Everything given to you is easy, you're free entertainment on the side while I do build 'stuff' as you asked earlier. No, my plans are far grander and more complex than you could grasp; they're for the likes of-"

"Batman?"

"Yes."

Every time she brought up Batman, or actually, he brought up Batman, she'd get an earful of how much he wanted to 'end his existence' or humiliate him. Most likely both. The Riddler was not shy in letting his feelings known for the protector of Gotham City. At first, Mina didn't care for the slander against the guy, he kept people safe so what was the problem? But as time went on and she heard more and more from The Riddler she just felt some weird secondhand embarrassment, the obsession was real and unhealthy from what she heard. But it was not her place to really say anything about it and whenever she did... It's as if he didn't hear her. Completly lost in his own world.

"As I was saying, the intricate conundrums and challenges posed to him are far greater than you've worked out so far." He continued on, something jovial in his voice. On his end he had even stopped to kick his feet up on a work bench, his work gloves tossed aside so he could use the phone's touch screen. "You know, Eddie, if you want to just insult me you can just plainly say 'idiot' or 'moron' like usual, you don't need to veil it behind-" "Don't call me Eddie. It's The Riddler, Riddler, or Mr. Nigma, Sir."

The way he spoke to her was different this time. There was something dangerous; a violent way he cut his words in and the silence on both their ends made her heart jump. The only sound she did hear was the scraping of boots, he had moved away from his relaxed position and instead sat up straight staring into space on his workbench. Not that she could see anything. All Mina could see was the pier in front of her, the murky water, and the city around her. Instead, the most she could do was imagine The Riddler and what his reactions were like.

Tentatively within what felt like minutes, Mina spoke:

"I'm sorry?"

"I don't like being called that, we're not friends. I don't have those, and even if I did I still don't like being called Eddie."

Mina wanted to ask why, it stuck on the tip of her tongue, but then she thought to herself if she did he probably would not answer and also... Why should she care? Again she was left wondering why she kept up talking to him even though in the back of her mind she knew exactly. Instead, she pushed that thought away, it made her feel ashamed, guilty, not right in the head- like him.

"May I ask why?" She bit the so-called bullet and asked.

But what surprised her the most was the way he actually did answer back, and not in the condescending, arrogant, or general mean-spirited way he'd respond. It was... Bitter, it was just hatred, his voice took on that of a child beaten too many times. Which is what he once was, perhaps even to this day.

"My father called me Eddie, therefore I could care less in hearing myself be called that. Do you understand?"

"Of course. I'm sorry."

"I don't need your pity, I just need your compliance."

"I'm not pitying you, I really am sorry. Nobody should be made to feel-"

"Are you my therapist? Is this Arkham? No, no, and no again!"

His voice rose higher in octaves as he spoke on, from bitter to an almost frantic tantrum that only a grown man could pull off. A man-child. Yet his mood swings did little to deter Mina, instead, she listened quietly in the way a sailor might watch the sea churn on a storm.

"I'm addressed by that nickname on many occasions- with others, but when I speak with you, I'd rather not be. I hope you're fully cognizant of this warning."

He stood again, the brick of the poorly taken care of phone in one hand, while his free hand picks up and stuffs his work gloves in a pocket. The rest of his cargo pants hold a myriad of tools, and the belt of his pants works overtime at the extra weight. Edward Nigma can see his reflection in a switched-off monitor in front of him, yet he does what Mina did earlier. But he's more successful, his photographic memory sketches out Mina's features perfectly. Or at least as well as one can get when they've only seen photographs or CCTV footage of an individual.

"I'm not going to take this as a warning. It's just... You don't want to be called that, it gives you bad feelings, so I won't. You don't need to threaten me for something like this. You're allowed to not like something that another does, but I mean after that how you react and the other person reacts that's up to each individual."

The line is quiet for a few seconds. Mina figures he's winding himself up to lecture her on her poor choice of vocabulary, also to ask her if she thought she was talking to a child- anything to be ruder about. Yet she was surprised again by him.

"Thank you."

It's stated matter-of-factly.

She blinks and hilariously thinks not only does he create traps in real life but emotional ones also. Yet nothing happens except he starts to drone on about his latest puzzle- for her.

"Now that's over with, you'll find I have something for you- or I asked earlier in this conversation before we were pivoted away by the useless small talk. You'll find the location..."

The Riddler gave her latitude and longitude coordinates for her next challenge, yet she could only think about how he was almost civil and how he was in fact, human. Thoughts, feelings, aspirations- even if the intent was evil or dark and for a spark of a second Mina wanted to know more about his other qualities than his bad ones. She wanted to do more than just interact with him purely for her own egotistical reasons; wanting to prove herself to him she could do anything he threw to her. Yet also why did she want to prove herself to him?

His voice brings her back, a tone of irritation laced with his plastic cheeriness.

"Are you still there, Detective?"

"Yes, yeah, I was just, uh, entering those coordinates." She lied easily, making herself sound as if she was surprised to be interrupted doing something when she was really just lost in her head.

"Wonderful! The initiative you're showing is actually quite gratifying; you've surprised me so far I will admit."

"Thanks, Mr. Nigma, Sir."

Is her sarcastic reply as they continue on for the next twenty minutes after.

[bradshawsbaby]

Could you do a Drabble where Mrs. Bradshaw gets tired and frustrated about picking up Bradley's boots/shoes?? She could be pregnant if you want. I feel like he would leave them all over the place all the time😂 also love your writing!!

(Thank you so much! 🥰 Hope you like this!)

Your husband was the absolute best of men, there was no doubt about it. But even the best of men had their occasional flaws.

In all the time you’d known him, you’d come to learn that one of Bradley Bradshaw’s biggest flaws was his absolute inability to leave his shoes anywhere other than the middle of the floor. No matter how many times you picked them up and moved them, or gently reminded him about the shoe rack near the front door, or kindly asked him to be mindful of where he left them, you would inevitably find yourself tripping over them in the dark or spotting them in the middle of the floor while running errands.

“I’m sorry, honey,” he would always say when he caught you huffing in irritation and moving them out of the way once more. You knew he meant it, too. He wasn’t trying to upset you or purposely make a mess. It was just a bad habit. “My mom used to yell at me about it all the time,” he confessed, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly.

You always knew you and Carole would have gotten along.

It was such a small thing that you tried not to let it bother you, especially since Bradley was always so genuinely contrite, but sometimes it really did drive you insane.

“He’s one of the smartest guys I know,” you’d complained to Penny one night after a few too many glasses of wine. “How hard is it to remember to not leave your shoes in the middle of the floor?”

Penny had just laughed, shaking her head. “Sweetheart, I spent many years asking very similar questions about Pete. And after all this time, I can tell you the honest truth that the guy you love is always going to drive you just a little bit crazy.”

You’d smiled ruefully at that. “I know it’s such a silly thing to complain about. He really is the best.”

And for the most part, on most days, you really were able to overlook this one tiny little flaw in your beloved husband. But over the past few weeks, as your first pregnancy was progressing and throwing all your hormones out of whack, you found yourself growing increasingly frustrated every time you stumbled upon Bradley’s work boots or sneakers lying in the middle of the floor.

Today, after dealing with a tough bout of morning sickness earlier in the day and just general fatigue, you finally reached your breaking point.

“Bradley!” you cried out hotly, frowning in annoyance as you bent for what felt like the millionth time to pick up his boots. He’d gotten home from work a half hour earlier, and had apparently left his shoes where he’d taken them off.

“Yeah, honey?” Bradley responded, rubbing out his wet hair with a towel as he walked to the front of the apartment, clad in shorts and an old T-shirt after his shower.

“How many times do I have to ask you not to do this?” you demanded, holding up his boots and frowning even more deeply.

Bradley winced, lowering the towel and looking you in the eye. “I’m sorry, baby. I know I always—”

“Yes! You always do this! And I know you’re sorry, but clearly not sorry enough,” you exclaimed in exasperation. “You still leave your shoes lying all over the place for me to pick up or trip over.” You could feel yourself growing irrationally upset, tears pricking the backs of your eyes, but you couldn’t stop yourself. “It’s like you don’t even care that I’ve asked you a million times not to do this!” you finished, suddenly bursting into tears.

Bradley’s eyes widened immediately and he rushed to be by your side. “Oh, honey, don’t cry. Please don’t cry,” he begged, thumbing away your tears. “I know I’m an idiot. It’s the simplest thing in the world that you asked me to do, and I can never do it. I’m sorry,” he murmured, kissing away the hot tears clinging to your cheeks.

“It’s just—I just—”

“I know,” Bradley nodded, rubbing your back. “You do so much for me all day long, and then on top of it you have to clean up after me like I’m a kid,” he said, raking a hand through his damp hair. “My mom would really kill me if she was here. Or give you permission to kill me,” he added, hoping to make you smile, at least a little bit.

You sniffled softly, nodding your head.

“Honey, please don’t think it’s because I don’t care about what you have to say. I’m so sorry if I ever made you feel that way,” Bradley went on sadly. “It’s just because your husband is a total idiot and nothing more. If you ever tripped over my stupid shoes and hurt yourself—especially now with the baby—I’d never forgive myself. You have my word that I won’t leave my shoes laying around ever again. I promise,” he assured you, brushing his thumb across your cheek.

You nodded again, swallowing deeply. “I’m sorry I yelled over such a silly thing. It’s just been frustrating me lately,” you admitted, running a hand through your hair.

“You have every right to be frustrated, baby. I promise I’m going to do better with this, okay?” he asked, stroking your hair tenderly.

You nodded in response, resting your head against his chest.

“I’ll take these,” Bradley murmured, taking his boots out of your hands and walking them over to the shoe rack.

“Hmm, doing better already, Lieutenant Bradshaw,” you teased lightly, a smile curving your lips.

Bradley was true to his word, as you knew he would be. Once he made a promise, he didn’t go back on it. He was intentional now about making sure he put his shoes where they were supposed to be, namely not in the middle of the floor.

“Well, honey,” you joked with him one night as you saw him lining up his shoes by the door. “I think you may just be perfect now. No more flaws.”

Laughing, Bradley took you into his arms and kissed you lovingly. “If I had known I was going to get that reaction, I would have started picking up my shoes a long time ago!”

[unfinshedsentec]

RANDOM BAJI HEADCANONS❕

a/n: it’s clovers birthday (at least in my time zone)! Happy birthday @clovers-garden-co! Have a a great birthday love! And I hope you enjoy this little birthday gift <3

reader is gender neutral

character pairing: baji keisuke x reader

tw: cursing

o   As we all know, Baji Keisuke isn’t exactly the sharpest tool in the shed

o   But when it come to you, he’s potentially the smartest person ever

o   Seriously, the guy is an amazing boyfriend

o   Sure, he may like getting fights and burning cars, but in general, Baji is super caring and kind towards you

o   He always makes sure to send a goodnight and good morning texts, and if he can, he’ll happily walk you to school

o   Hell, a lot of times he takes you on mini-after school dates! (When there’s no Toman stuff)

o   Sometimes he’ll take you on little ice cream dates, and other times, he’ll drag you along with him to find stray cats. A lot of times you guys will have movie dates at his place too. And of course, there’s quite a few 12 AM Peyoung Yakisoba dates

o   Most of all though, there’s study dates

o   What can I say? The guy needs help studying!

o   Luckily for him, you love helping him out, which he really appreciates. I mean, he doesn’t wanna make his mom cry again!

o   Speaking of which, his mom loves you

o   Like seriously, she thinks you’re some angel sent from heaven

o   Every time you see her, she always makes sure to give you the biggest hug ever

o   Sometimes she even pushes Baji out the way to see you!

o   She just really loves you, and you love her. Which is amazing, especially for Baji

o   Afterall, that was very important to him

o   The other people that adore you are the people from Toman

o   You haven’t met many of those guys, since Baji tries his best to keep you out of all that, but the few you have met really love you…especially Mikey since you have Dorayaki to give him every once in awhile

o   The one you know best though, is Chifuyu

o   Chifuyu was the one who introduced you to Baji, so really if it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t have even met Baji

o   The guy is your little relationship cheerleader too, which you greatly appreciate

o   There’s Ryusei too, who, also likes you…but he teases you a lot

o   Oh well, that’s to be expected!

o   Speaking of Toman, Baji talks about them often

o   He usually complains about idiots or fights that happen, but really that’s all you hear about them

o   Baji is really protective of you though , so he really tries his best to keep you out of anything Toman related

o   He’s got to make sure you’re safe!

o   Though, almost every time he gets in a fight, Baji sneaks into your house and asks you to tend his wounds

o   To him it’s a good excuse to see you. Plus, he knows you’d be gentle, and you won’t yell at him like his mom will

o   Of course, you always give a mini lecture about being more careful, but ultimately, you’re more focused on taking care of him that you don’t tell him off too much

o   Unfortunately for Baji, his mom always finds out and tells him off …then he complains about it while you guys read manga

o   Speaking of which, one of your favorite things to do with Baji is read manga

o   Nothing is more relaxing than laying in Baji’s arms while it’s raining and reading manga

o   Sometimes it’s a videogame date too! Of course, that doesn’t happen that often

o   After all, Baji without a doubt will mess up something, get mad, and start yelling at the game

o   You’ve never heard him curse at something as much as he curses at his Nintendo

o   Of course, when you start laughing at him, he gets more mad

o   Oh well, it’s all in good fun!

o   As long as you get some Yakisoba, he’ll forgive you. Although, he’s gotta be the one to make it

o   Lord knows that man is a cooking genius

o   He’s a natural at it

o   Seriously, out of all the thing you expected from Baji, you didn’t expect him to be able to cook as good as he does

o   Of course, you don’t mind. It’s more good food for you!

o   One of Baji’s other favorite things is working out

o   He’s not intense as Draken, but he certainly works out a lot. He wants to stay strong, and he wants to impress you, so of course he works out!

o   He’s also always sure to work out while you’re with him

o   Not that you mind. He does look good when he works out

o   Plus, sometimes a cat climbs on his back on the middle of his workout, which is definitely one of the cutest things you’ve seen

o   In fact, it’s your lock screen…well, until you switched it out with Baji cuddling with a cat

o   A lot of times when you and Baji cuddle (which is often) a cat will join you

o   It’s beyond adorable

o   Unfortunately, when Baji falls asleep and starts snoring, the cat runs away because of how loud it is

o   Hey, at least you got used to the snoring. Lord knows you’d never get sleep if that wasn’t the case

o   Another random thing about Baji is he’s terrified of bugs

o   The guy could beat any scary person up, but the moment there’s a spider, he’s out of there

o   I hope you can deal with them, because if not, you guys are screwed

o   Oh well, at least it’s funny to see Baji scream like a little girl

o   Overall, yours and Baji’s relationship is absolutely adorable. He loves you more than anything, and you him

o   So, you better stick around! Lord knows he needs you

masterlist || reblogs are very appreciated <3

[boldlyvoid]

Intro and masterlist

✨about me ✨

this is a mature blog, I trust all minors to be responsible and avoid everything marked NSFW!

NSFW sideblog: @pervstash-spencer

Hi! my name is emily, I'm 23 she/they

Capricorn, bisexual, non-binary, autistic, and I have fibromyalgia ✌🏻 overall just a fun time y'know.

ao3

i love: supernatural, star trek, marvel movies, criminal minds, this is us and grey's anatomy !!

Accepting requests for Spencer Reid x Reader fics currently

all my tags are listed below if you want to see other posts about said fics, also here is my Spotify for the fics <3

Dad!spencer Masterlist

First times Masterlist**

all links to my fics below the cut!

Updated: July 28th, 2021

** for smut

~~ for angst

Spencer Reid x Reader fics

Hypothetically**~ Ao3 | Tumblr -- 27 chapters, complete. 89k

reader and Spencer were friends in kindergarten, she watched him grow up and explore the world while she was still trying to catch up to him. now that they work together, they fall in love incredibly fast.

friends to lovers, case of the week style story

touch me**~ Ao3 | Tumblr 5.8k

Spencer is incredibly touch-starved and hard on himself since coming home from prison. Luckily, the medical examiner in this small town is really good at reading people, and exactly what he needs.

amethyst you so much P1 Ao3 | Tumblr 6.4k

Spencer has had a crush on Y/N since she started working at the bau. She only ever works the night shift after a case, handling all the aftermath gracefully. one night, Spencer stays back and they strike up a conversation about rocks, causing their feelings to dig a little deeper.

of quartz i will P2** Ao3 | Tumblr 6K

after 2 years of dating, Spencer decides it's finally time to get Y/N something to match her Amethyst bracelet.

Amoreena**~ Ao3 | Tumblr Completed 83k

Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.

Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.

Seven* Tumblr WIP

Summary: Spencer’s been married to Y/N for 7 years now, they have 7 children together and each one is going through something different. Spencer’s always wanted to be the best dad, now he gets to figure out how to be.

the guy at the rock show Ao3 | Tumblr 5.6K

Y/N lost their parents when they were 17, finding a new home and solace in Penelope Garcia and taking the Garcia name. They're the top forensic specialist in D.C, in a band and they drive a motorcycle... not to mention they are madly in love with the cute doctor who works with their sister.

journey to Camelot** Ao3 | Tumblr 3.8K

When Penelope introduces Spencer to online games, he expects to be spending his nights alone. Yet, somehow every time he comes back from a bad case, he logs on to chat with the ever so lovely user FairlyGwen and getting a lot more than just a helpful tip from her.

Exploration** Ao3 | Tumblr 4.7K

request: season1/2 spencer walking in on reader while she's watching porn in their shared hotel room

Expedition** Tumblr 1.2K

Summary: there's a first time for everything... including joining the mile high club with your boyfriend on the work jet.

10 Days Ao3 | Tumblr 1.4K

it's spencer's first father's day and he's extremely emotional about the little love of his life that he's only just met. he spends the day with his baby, Edwin, and his wife, crying and happy about how wonderful new little lives are.

ain't it fun?** Ao3 | Tumblr Masterlist 11K

reader just needs an NA meeting before they have a meltdown, they end up with the best friend they could ever make.

I'm not kidding!** Tumblr 6K

Spencer keeps getting little notes from a secret admirer, they're nice and sweet at first as they tease him with their crush until she's sending him notes about all the dirty things she wants to do to him

Perfect Timing** Tumblr 1K

spencer and reader have been spending the last month together in the same hotel room during a pretty brutal case. tension has been rising and she's completely in love with him.

what happens when they both think the other won't be back for a while and they want to shower?

Redamancy** Tumblr 5.4K

the co-op librarian at the FBI Academy has been secretly crushing on the smartest agent in the Bureau, TA, Doctor Spencer Reid, and he's been crushing on her too.

Being Neighbourly** Tumblr 1.9K

Request: reader is Spencers neighbour and she can hear him masturbating every night that he's home how do you have her deal with that?

Professional Hair Dresser (Ph.D)** Tumblr 6.4K

summary: after Spencer's knee injury, he starts visiting a salon every week to get his hair washed

36 Questions to Fall in Love Tumblr 8K

Summary: When Derek bets Spencer that he cant make someone fall in love with him in a week, he doesn’t expect Spencer to marry the girl the next day

New Romantics** Tumblr 23k

Summary: She needs help studying for her Case Exercises at the Academy, He needs a date for the annual Banquet... they just so happen to be neighbours who aren't afraid to lend a helping hand, or in this case, a helping kiss.

Million Dollar Man** | Tumblr WIP 5k so far

summary: Spencer's therapist recommended he branch out and meet new people who don't want to talk about his work... she didn't expect him to sign up for a Sugar Daddy website.

Sugar, Honey, Ice Tea** | Y/N version | 1-4, 5-9, Epilogue 25.6k

Summary: Fix-it-fic: Dr. Y/L/N and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Warnings: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Prison, Prison Violence, Assault, Blood, Depression, Murder, Self-Hatred, Hurt Spencer Reid, Canon-Typical Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Drug Addiction, References to Drugs, Drug Use, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Romantic Tension, Forbidden Love, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Strangers to Lovers, Requited Love, Falling In Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Slow Burn, Eventual Smut, past abusive relationship, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault

Spencer x Ethan

Ruin it.** Tumblr 5.4K

Summary: Spencer never had sleepovers as a kid, so now that he's an adult he's always sleeping over at Ethan's house, ad he'll take any excuse to crawl into bed beside him.

Warnings: mutual pining, love concessions, blowjobs, handjobs, anal sex (both top and bottom spencer in this), childhood friends to lovers

400 Celebration fics

Reid Me Tumblr 2.5K

Spencer has noticed a beautiful woman at a spirituality booth at the farmers market every Saturday for almost a whole year now. he finally asks her to give him a reading.

mystery of love Tumblr 700

Spencer surprises his wife with a trip to Italy.

Spy Kids Tumblr 900

Spencer and Y/N's kids think that they are secretly spies and request a mission story before bed.

a father's greatest weakness Tumblr 1K

Princess Y/N is betrothed to the Viking king in an effort by her father to keep the peace between their countries, he doesn't expect her to join in the fight to free Scottland.

Luke x Reader

Best Dad Ever 2.8K

Request: angst with a happy ending, reader and luke have been divorced for a few years but have a child, she tries and tries to fall out of love with him but he's around so often that she can't

Spencer x OC

Sugar Honey Ice Tea** Ao3 | WIP 9/10 chapters complete 25.6K

Fix-it-fic: Dr. Beth Pattinson and Savannah Hayes have been best friends since their medical internship at Bethesda General. When she receives a frantic call that Derek's best friend is being transferred to the prison she works at, an unlikely friendship bubbles.

Eventually falling head over heels for the innocent man.

Intro to Criminal Minds: Why They Did It Ao3 | Tumblr WIP 6K+

Spencer is teaching a 7-week seminar on the most interesting criminal cases, explaining their actions to understand why they took place. Only, not everyone in the audience is a student.

Criminal Minds x Mindhunter AU

Spencer x OC Peggy Carr

Franklin x Reader

Voulez-Vouz** | 3.2k

Summary: in a small town, everyone knows each other… or at least they think they do.

Warnings: porn with plot, smut, Dom reader, Sub!Perv!franklin, making out, teasing, face sitting, oral (female and male), hand jobs, overstimulation, prostate message, multiple orgasms, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, let me know if I forgot anything.

Chip x Reader

forever is the sweetest con** | 6.2K

Summary: Reader’s dad is a carpenter; sometimes he takes on apprentices and sometimes, if they’re lucky, they get his daughter’s number at the end of their training. Chip Taylor, however, hits the jackpot when her father invites him over for one of her homecooked meals.

Warnings: reader’s mom passed away, mentions of parental death, strangers to lovers, random acts of kindness, mutual pining, falling in love, steamy make-outs, oral sex (male and female receiving), fingering, penetrative sex, unprotected sex, creampie, dirty talk, sub!chip, food mentions, praise, love confessions.

Raymond x Reader

Alone Together ** | 2.4K

Summary: Raymond moves into a haunted house and ends up sleeping with the ghost who lives there... only he doesn't know that when you fuck a ghost you also become one.

Warnings: details of suicide and murder, blowjobs, pegging, bottom!raymond, top!reader, becoming a ghost, major character death.

Star Trek Masterlist

Star Wars fix it fic

Supernatural masterlist

thanks for all the love, as always,

-Emily <3

[dreamkidddream]

Can I request a teen mc who is like YUJI from jujutsu kaisen as in they are the vessel of SUKUNA PLSS? Like maybe they can manifest SUKUNA in his curse form as another being as well like megumis dogs? (If you don’t know JJK can you just do a chaotic teen mc? ❤️)

WHEW THIS ALMOST DID NOT GET POSTED SINCE TUMBLR DELETED PARTS OF IT.

So let me tell you: I started reading the manga but have yet to watch the anime 😭 it’s really good though and I’m probably gonna start it this week, but I’m not sure if I’m 100% confident in writing Sukuna. BUT this request was too good to pass up, so if you don’t like it I will write the other scenario instead just let me know!

So for these headcanons, I made it to where MC is Sukuna’s vessel like Yuji, and that they can manifest him if needed. But, I still kept it to where he’s not exactly a good guy with MC’s best interest at heart. Reader is gender neutral and younger than the Bros, so the dynamic is more family instead of romance just a heads up! Hope you enjoy!

TW: Minor cursing, spoilers for Lesson 16 in Mammon’s, Beel’s, and Belphie’s part

The Brothers with Teen MC who’s Sukuna’s Vessel

Lucifer

Was very irritated with this revelation, but still curious

Still annoyed either way though

He already had to make sure that you stayed alive during your stay and not disappoint Diavolo, but now he had to make sure that you kept this curse at bay too!

#GiveLuciferABreak2021

He’s very skeptical of you: not only because of you being a young human but also being a human with essentially a demon inside of you

A very troublesome demon if not kept under control at all times

Honestly Sukuna was like an buzzing gnat who wouldn’t just go away, so Lucifer didn’t see him as a threat personally. More of a nuisance that could grow into a threat if remained unchecked

After you explained the whole situation, he still assigned Mammon to you, but he made sure to personally keep an eye on you too

Your presence was seen as a threat at first, but as time passed, he, along with his brothers knew you meant no harm, but the same couldn’t be said for this Sukuna

He wanted to have faith in you, but he couldn’t bring himself to fully believe it. After an incident at RAD with another demon attempting to attack you, your powers (or rather Sukuna’s) came out to play

He saw the markings, the extra eyes, the malice spread on your face, and he then realized just how serious this has become. You were able to gain control back, but the damage was already done. You were so distraught, sobbing before you, trying to apologize and swearing that you didn’t mean for this to happen, all the while Sukuna was laughing, morphing a mouth on your cheek

It was so bizarre to see, and he couldn’t help but feel a pang of pity for you. You were such a kind person, always going out of the way to spend time and help wherever you could. You essentially became a part of the family, but he knew that you didn’t feel accepted because of him

After that, your “punishment” was to practice holding control over Sukuna with Lucifer, every day after school (which can just be seen as him checking in on you on a daily basis, and trying out different techniques to make sure repeats of this incident doesn’t happen again). Meaning that you trained on manifesting him at will, instead of him completely taking over

Not gonna lie he’s acting like a proud dad when he sees you making progress and Sukuna just sitting in your head tired of all this positivity lol

Lucifer cares for you, he’s accepted you fully even if you hadn’t for yourself. He wants to protect all of his family (including you), and he doesn’t want to think about what could happen if Sukuna becomes a danger to the Devildom or Diavolo...

Mammon

Is impressed but also low key nervous

Humans are not suppose to be like this, ya know!

He’s not the smartest demon in Hell, but he definitely knows that you can’t summon demons without a pact, and he knows your baby face doesn’t have one with the King of Curses

You had to break down the whole deal, and it made him even more confused and distressed

Was still acting annoyed being your designated babysitter, I mean seriously, just how annoying can you be?!

Just kidding! You guys are totally partners in crime in no time and you both make Lucifer get 2x the wrinkles now

“MC, let the Great Mammon show you how’s it done!”

“Mammon, you’re going to be the reason why we’ll be strung up again for the third time this week.”

“It’s going to be both of your idiots’ faults. Such a pathetic display.”

SHIT HE FORGOT YOU GOT A WHOLE CURSE INSIDE YOU

He HATES whenever Sukuna makes an appearance, whether you call on him or he makes his own special appearance. He’s like a gritty and more sadistic version of Lucifer, minus the style and uptight personality (and honestly the finesse too), which made him 10x the more aggravating

He honestly hates Sukuna in general. Here you are, his MC, one of the only people to stand up and defend him always, struggling to live a normal life because of him. It was bad enough that you got sent down here with no warning, but now you got sent with him, and from what Mammon could hear with the conversations between you two, he wasn’t exactly your BFF

Denies being excited about seeing you perform your cursed techniques, but only because it brings him out (and he guesses it’s a little cool that you know how to do it). But human, you don’t need that lame curse, you got the great demon himself to protect you!

On a darker note, you made Mammon swear to you that if Sukuna took over and you for some reason couldn’t gain back control, that he would protect himself and his brothers first before worrying about you. He hated this even coming up, you should be worrying about what’s the next scheme you guys could pull off, not some weird sharpie colored entity causing problems. But you were dead serious, and you made him promise that if the worst case scenario ever happened, he would make sure it’s taken care of

Mammon realized you were the missing piece to their family. It felt nice to have someone depend on him, to actually treat him with respect and care for him truly. He refused to accept Sukuna as a part of you (really he just acted like he didn’t exist, which he didn’t in his mind), and he refused to let him or anyone else harm you

You’re family now, and he wasn’t going to lose anyone else ever again

Leviathan

Oh look, another normie

Wow, you’re such a normie that you’re even talking to yourself through a manifested mouth on your palm-wait WHAT

You broke it down to him, and you just...stared at you, with a blank expression on his face. Until-

“OMG THIS IS JUST LIKE THE ANIME-“

How ironic lol

He practically had a fanboy overload moment whenever you showed off your cursed techniques to him after he begged asked you countless times

You guys remember that vine with the kid saying, “I have the power of God and anime on my side”? Recreate that while doing your moves and he’ll be in awe and dying laughing at the same time

Will post it to his Devilgram and DevilTube

His envy will start to show at first. How is it that someone boring like you get to have all these cool powers and have an actual king reside in you?? You’re living the Shonen dream and not even grateful for it!

But this reality for him would soon shatter after he saw Sukuna for himself, and the way that he behaved towards you. The way that the curse would just look at with disdain in his eyes just made Levi’s skin crawl. He was made well aware that you were in fact not living the anime dream he thought you were. The look in your eyes reminded him of how he would feel whenever he felt like a scummy otaku, and from that point forward he would find ways to cheer you up

You can plan on having anime marathons, game nights, even talking with Henry (I hc that he can talk and understand aquatic animals) when you get into these moods. Anything that helps him get out of his funks he’s hoping it helps you too. You don’t deserve this type of treatment from anyone, especially someone that even he can no doubt eliminate

You were honestly one of the coolest people that he knows, and one of the strongest too! Not just physically, but mentally too. He can’t imagine what could be going on in your head since Sukuna became a part of you, but he knows that you’re strong enough to overcome anything that he throws at you. And if you had moments where you faltered or doubted yourself, that’s okay! Levi would be right beside you the whole way, doing anything he can to keep pushing you forward

Be the teen anime hero that he’s know you can be MC! You wouldn’t be his Henry if he didn’t have any faith in you, you know?

Bonus: you don’t have to worry about your anime nights being ruined after one night when Sukuna somehow found a spoiler to an anime that Levi was really anticipating became a very visual warning for the curse. Levi convinced you to let him take over, and whatever was said resonated with him because you never heard a peep after that, both out loud and in your head

Satan

Oh he was BEYOND fascinated

We all know how much Satan loves to read and how smart he is, so while you look at your condition as a curse (no pun intended), he saw it as an opportunity

Could you feel this curse coursing through your body? Did you feel stronger? Could he see through your eyes all the time or only when you let him? He had so many questions it wasn’t even funny

Very understanding of your situation surprisingly (but still called you dumb for eating Sukuna’s finger)

Satan would be one of the only people you could really trust when dealing with Sukuna. Yes, you trusted all of the brothers, but if you were really in a bind you could count on Satan to come up with a solution quickly

The only issue was his anger. Everyone knows just how angry he can get, and to avoid him ASAP if you even think he’s getting frustrated. Sukuna knows this too, and will be more than happy to taunt him to truly bring out his wrath. While he does need you alive (for now), it wouldn’t hurt to have some type of fun around here. Plus, this could cause your bonds with these brothers to weaken, and the weaker the bond, the weaker the will to help you keep him at bay and defeat him

But Satan knew better, and you did your best in keeping Sukuna away. He may be the Avatar of Wrath but that didn’t mean he was stupid. However, he did have one slip up unfortunately

You see, he was just having a bad day and already got into a spat with Lucifer, and you sensed that he certainly needed his space. So while you slowly backtracked to your room and from his path, Sukuna decided to be the evil ass that he is, and proceed to provoke him. What finally made him snap was his comment that, “You would be a formidable opponent if you weren’t in your older brothers’ shadow, but oh well. Can’t help who you come from I see.”

It took Beel, Mammon, and Lucifer to properly restrain him from ripping Sukuna (really you) limb from limb, with him laughing manically and you scrambling back in fear. Which called for a very long, detailed family meeting (of course after Satan fully calmed down) that resulted in mediated meetings between you and him for the next month. You felt guilty, you should have done better containing him, but you couldn’t predict whenever he decided to pop up!

But after a long talk, Satan didn’t blame you. He blamed himself for losing to his anger and especially blamed Sukuna. He decided that it was time to get rid of this pest once and for all. Be ready MC, cause once he puts his mind to something, there’s no stopping him

Prepare for your bonding time to be deep into books and practicing new hexes and curses. But don’t worry, it’s not always boring and Satan makes sure that you’re having some type of fun. He’s really doing this to have some sort of protection for you: whether it’s against Sukuna or himself. He wants you to know something besides your cursed techniques just in case they fail for some reason

Will shockingly want you to manifest the curse, one main reason is to obviously collect information on him, the other reason is to test said hexes and curses on him

Can a curse be cursed? Let’s find out

You helped Satan with him realizing that anger isn’t the only emotion that you can feel, and with you being so young, he wanted you to experience life as much as you can. And while you had an extra...passenger with you, he will do his best to make sure that it doesn’t get in the way of you enjoying life. It was nice to see a joyous smile on your face

Also you guys did find a hex that made Sukuna meow for the whole day and it was the best thing to ever happen with him lmao

Asmodeus

Honestly wasn’t really bothered with it at first. If anything, he treated it like hot gossip when you told him in the beginning

One thing he will say though: humans can be so revolting at times. I mean you ate a rotten finger, a cursed, aged, sharp, disgusting- you get the point. He did cringe at that, but everything else was pretty normal besides that

Still talked about your daily gossip, painted nails, the works. But recently, Sukuna’s name has been coming up more and more in your recent convos. Asmo, being quite the messy curious demon, wanted to know more about this curse

He really treated Sukuna like he was just your show and tell act and would want you to bring it out to see how he really was. He was amused with your cursed techniques, but he wanted to see more!

He heard you both talking with one another, and he wanted to see him in person! He hasn’t done anything and you’re among the seven strongest in Hell, so what could go wrong?

So much. So much could go wrong

And so much went wrong

After you manifested him, it went downhill from there. The large amount of control you did show caught his attention, but then it moved to the King of Curses himself. He was very delighted to see him up close for more than a couple of seconds, and took his time admiring his physique up close. It was fun for him, but not for you. Sukuna could feel your will slipping since your focus was being divided dealing with Asmo, so he took this as his time to shine

You had an exhausting day, and you were tired, which he used to his advantage. Asmo started to complain when Sukuna suddenly disappeared, but didn’t have a chance to voice it as your arm suddenly gripped the front of his shirt. He felt himself jolt, feeling his heart pumping. He looked into your eyes and realized that this wasn’t you, this was now Sukuna. The black markings that lined your face along with the new eye color (and the extra pair of eyes) came with a grin that stretched across your face

“What’s the matter? You were so eager to be in my presence, is it not to your liking now that the tables have turned? You claim to be one of the strongest, yet I would be able to kill you just being in this form-Ah, the brat is trying to come back, what a shame. Do me a favor, little Asmodeus, don’t insult me like this again. I am a King, and you will remember that. I might have to pay you another visit and take your heart with me next time to make sure you’re aware of that.”

He didn’t give Asmo time to answer, as his grip loosened and you were back. He saw you stumbling, shook out of his own thoughts and reached to catch you. He knew that this curse was an issue, but he didn’t understand just how serious this was, how serious it had gotten so quickly. The thought of Sukuna didn’t scare him, but the promise of him coming back just for him caused some worry. He wasn’t the weakest, but he didn’t want to hurt you! As much as he couldn’t stand his new found scorn of Sukuna, it wasn’t enough for him to take the chance of injuring you

You didn’t strike fear in him, rather the opposite. To see someone he has grown to care about be the one to try and bring his demise was...saddening. He could just feel his heart breaking at the notion. And if this experience taught him one thing is to be more understanding of what you’re going through

You remembered bits and pieces of the incident, and whenever you asked Asmo about it, he would divulge a tad in what happened, but wouldn’t go into too much detail. He didn’t want you blaming yourself, and he didn’t want you to distance yourself from him either. You already proven yourself of formindable you are ever since you gotten down here, and Asmo wasn’t going to let some jealous wannabe demon get in the way of that!

So no more talk of the thing, and whenever it did want to make an unsuspecting visit, Asmo would be ready. The thing was immune to most curses, but that didn’t mean that he couldn’t be charmed to some extent, right?

Has covered the eye slits up with makeup and other beauty products every morning, becomes both of your favorite bonding activity. Anything to erase any evidence of it existing and to hear your giggles brightens his day everytime!

Beelzebub

Is very sympathetic of your ordeal

Has mad respect for you eating that finger though, even he doesn’t think that he would eat that

Maybe with some sauces and some Hellroast he might

Is another brother that tries to keep an eye on you. If this Sukuna really is as dangerous as you make him out to be, then he would make sure to be prepared if things went south

Beel’s motto: stay ready you ain’t gotta get ready

Will want you to practice your moves with him. Beel’s pretty powerful, and on muscles alone is one of the strongest brothers. He wants to make sure that you can recognize your full potential, and to always do your best. Expect to be in the gym or the HoL’s backyard working out and training majority of the week

Is thoroughly impressed with your cursed techniques

Beel doesn’t understand that while yes, you have a whole curse residing in you, doesn’t make you less of a human. He forgets that you still have some limitations, and you have to remind him at least twice a week. You gotten more powerful yes, but you still weren’t at Beel’s level

“You can do it MC! Don’t give up!”

“Beel this is over 500 pounds...are you forgetting that I’m still HUMAN-”

But you can never stay mad at him, he’s just too sweet and he means well. He genuinely wants you safe and prepared if anything happens with Sukuna, and if getting you buffed up makes him feel somewhat at ease, then you’ll deal with it

Shares his food with you sometimes. He makes sure that you eat properly too, so no skipping out on meals!

Great listener! Whether you’re complaining about class, talking about a new restaurant you’re interested in (he’s definitely tuned in), or venting about Sukuna, he’s all ears. Even gives you advice if you ask for it or if you really need it

Has encountered Sukuna while he took over your body once, and let me tell you, he was not happy at all

Beel is one of the brothers that are in touch with his emotions; he doesn’t really fly off the handle into a rage unless someone has done something to his family or if he’s being denied food. But now that you’re family and vulnerable not only to other demons but to this curse inhabiting your body, he wasn’t taking any chances

He made sure to be very clear when talking with Sukuna. He wouldn’t stand for anything happening to you, and he made sure that the curse would wish he stayed scattered if that boundary was crossed

Beel is a very protective big brother that’s constantly looking out for you all the time. Even if you feel like that you need to bare this burden on your own, he makes sure that you never feel alone.

He already lost Lilith, and he doesn’t want to lose you too. He won’t mess up this time

Belphegor

See, he knew that there was something wrong with humans, and you were living proof of that

How can you trust humans not knowing if they have another creature living within them?!

Whatever, he’s too sleepy to even care about it

And you weren’t one of the worst so...he guesses that you’re tolerable, but don’t push it!

In the beginning, he thought it was easy to manipulate you, but he could just sense that something wasn’t right with you (and no, it wasn’t because you were just human). He would hear you talking aloud to yourself, except that you were...responding to yourself too?

He thought you finally cracked up lmao

He brought it up as a joke once, but the way you reacted was tense and...ashamed? Oh, he just hit a gold mine. This could make things much more interesting. You shared a little bit of your story with this so called “King of Curses”, but he was smart enough to make a plan off of the information. Maybe he could take advantage of Sukuna like he is of you. Kill two birds with one stone

Well his plan backfired swiftly. After he was freed from the attic and went straight in for the kill, things went array. His hands were wrapped around your neck, he could-should see the life leaving your eyes, but instead he was met with Sukuna’s gaze. Belphie thought he planned this right, he made sure that he didn’t give you enough time to manifest him or to use your curse techniques, so how was this-

“You think I don’t recognize the look of bloodlust, you spoiled child? You were foolish enough to believe that you could get rid of me this easily like the brat?!”, and he was sent flying across the room. How was this happening, this wasn’t suppose to happen!-

“As much as I would like to see them die, they’re useful to me for the time being. Once they are of no use anymore, the only one who will be relishing in their demise is me. They’ll be dying by my hand, not by some weakened child.”

Those words still resonated with him still to this day. Honestly, the whole incident did. No matter how many times he tried to convince himself that you forgiven him and want to build a real bond together, his mind refused to erase that horrid memory, and he deserved it. When Belphie remembers back to that day, he remembers the horrified and heart breaking looks on his brothers’ faces, the way that your eyes show how betrayed and petrified, and how you were gasping out begging him to stop, before he comes out and puts everyone in danger

He felt disgusting, guilty, mortified, regretful, a disappointment. Those feelings only escalated after having them explain the truth to him, both about yourself and being a descendent of his dead sister. He could see how much you touched his family, and you extended that kindness to him too, and he just exploited it

He stayed far away from you for a very long time. He didn’t try to approach you at all, only staying in the planetarium or even the attic, to avoid crossing paths with you. He didn’t deserve to make a connection with you like his older brothers, as much as he wanted to. He was remorseful, it wasn’t because of the whole Lilith revelation, but because you really didn’t deserve that happening to you

You made the first move to make amends, to have a fresh start, and he couldn’t have been more grateful, albeit nervous. He was so terrified of messing things up again, but you were there to help keep him grounded. “I won’t lie to say that what you did was okay, but I’m willing to move on from it. You aren’t completely forgiven, but we can work towards fixing things, together.”

Belphie was shaken by Sukuna’s words, but he wasn’t necessarily scared of him. In fact, he would personally find a way to cast him out of your body and destroy him permanently as the perfect apology and thank you gift; the thank you for reuniting him with his family, and for helping them develop healthy relationships with one another. They weren’t as separate as before, and it made him feel so warm every time he thought about it

Not that he would ever say that to anyone

You both spent time together either napping or plotting for future LYS (Lucifer You Suck) pranks. And since Belphie is pretty good with magic himself, he would be teaching you some new spells or curses that you could use to protect yourself, even against the curse inside you

Belphie will make sure to not make another huge mistake when it comes to you ever again. He’ll have his little slip ups, but you were never put into harms way because of them. He doesn’t want to sabatoge this bond, and he wants you to truly be happy spending time with him. He’s not the greatest role model (obviously) and may be tight lipped about how he feels most of the time, but he really does have your best interests at heart

[ashintheairlikesnow]

Would lowkey kill to see Kauri attempting to write poetry in his relationship with Jake era (omg Jake helping him/being the one to write it down) I always forget that he was a writer and loves poetry and I love him 10 times more every time I remember

CW: Some references to past trauma, forced illiteracy, some brief internalized victim-blaming/slut-shaming, Kauri’s low self-esteem

Takes place after Worth the Risk and Kauri’s first glimpse of his own past

“This is fucking stupid. I can’t fucking do this.” Kauri picks up the notebook, hard-backed blue with little golden stars twinkling on the cover, and throws it full-strength across the room until it smacks into the wall and drops to the ground, open to his own scrawling, struggling handwriting.

Chris, wrapped in a big fuzzy blue blanket and curled up in an armchair playing a game on his phone or texting Laken or maybe both, flinches and looks up. “Kauri?”

Kauri looks away from the earnest concern in those huge green eyes and kicks ineffectually at the coffee table, hissing when he doesn’t actually miss and his toes connect with the hard wooden leg. “Fuck. Fucking-... bullshit, I’m an idiot trying to do this, just-... god damn it. I should know better.”

There’s a silence, and then Chris asks, softly, “Know better than, than... than to what? What were you, um, you doing?”

Kauri’s jaw is set and for a second he considers lying. He’s a good liar, after all, and Chris is always so ready to believe him, he wouldn’t even question it. Safer to lie, hide the ideas inside his head, talk instead about something soft and surface-level. 

Safer to be stupid, always.

But he’s trying not to do that anymore.

He’s trying.

“Writing,” He says, finally. “I was... trying to-... write something.” The words are ground out of him nearly against his will. He glares at the notebook lying open on the floor, the scrawling handwriting of the fucked up slut still thinking he can be anything else. Looping and childish, too big almost to fit within the lines. 

“Oh.” Chris pauses, and then brightens, setting his phone aside and straightening up. “You, you sad you think that you used to, to, to, to write, didn’t you?”

“Yeah.” Kauri’s head hurts, a sharp punishing ache. How dare he think in metaphor and simile, how dare he try to build the villanelle, how dare he remember vaguely arguing with someone in a coffeeshop over old poetic forms being superior to poems that don’t even try to fit within a rhythm, and he just-

This is so-

He’s so stupid, thinking he could just pick it up again like it hasn’t been a decade or close, like he’s still whatever stupid shit lived in his body before he-

signed up for this-

followed a fucking hot guy outside in the dark and got thrown into a van and made into Kauri. 

“Well, my... my professor for, for, for, for Playwriting says... says writing is a muscle. You, you have to exercise. And you can’t do the, um, the, the, the-the heavy weights until you start with, with small ones.”

Kauri snorts, derisive, but it’s not because Chris is wrong - of course he’s not wrong. Part of Kauri knows it, too, that he used to write all the time, around the pounding inside his skull he knows that he used to scribble lines on napkins and paper towels and the margins of his study books, bringing together the poem itself only later, usually alone or with a boyfriend on the other side of the room. He used to be able to do this.

He used to do this all the time. 

“I wish Owen had wanted someone who could write a fucking poem,” Kauri says, voice breaking on the tears that threaten. “Maybe then I’d still be able to.” He pushes himself to his feet and stomps over to scoop up the notebook almost violently. “Why are you taking Playwriting, anyway? I thought you wanted to do set design.”

“I, I do.” Chris shrugs, eyes on Kauri, watching him walk back towards the doorway that leads to a hall and then to the kitchen. “But I thought-... I, I, I figured-... maybe if I learn how to, to write a play, it would help... visualize. For, for, for set-building. You, um. You know?”

Kauri exhales, slowly, and then nods. “Yeah. I get it. That’s a good plan - I mean, not that I would know, I’m a college fucking dropout, right?” He laughs, bitterness in every word, in every sound.

“No,” Chris replies, simply. “You, you were... abducted. We were, um. We, we, we were stolen. Your words were, um, were stolen, too. That’s what Dr. Berger-”

“Fuck Dr. Berger,” Kauri snaps, and leaves the room before Chris can make any more sense and possibly break apart Kauri’s determined self-loathing while he still wants to soak in it. 

Hating himself for what he can’t do - or what he’s been told he can’t do - is so much easier than trying to do it anyway.

Everything was easier than trying to get better.

So why is he still trying?

Notebook clenched in white-knuckled hands, Kauri climbs the stairs like a man moving to the gallows, one by one, his thoughts a swirling morass of self-hatred, and then he moves into the bedroom he shares with Jake here and stares at the rumpled covers on the bed.

He sleeps here every single night, wakes up to the same face pressed red on one side from the pillow, hears the same deep voice rumbling good morning, feels the same arm slide over his waist, the same scratchy stubble rubbing his jaw when he’s kissed. 

I have generally found, in my work, the fucking therapist’s voice echoes inside him, that when you begin to do the work to rebuild, you will find yourself dedicated over time to reconstructing not just a room, Kauri, but the entire city that was once leveled. Does that make sense?

He’d told her it didn’t.

Kauri spent years dodging therapy whenever Nat didn’t talk him into it, and he hates going. He hates having to spill all the darkness inside him to someone who never stops being so goddamn calm.

But the first time she’d said, have you ever heard about the effect that solitary confinement has on the human mind? He had told her he didn’t know, but he’d started crying, too, and hadn’t been able to explain why. 

Part of you knows, Dr. Berger had said gently. Part of you always knew.

He had never really wanted to know the person who had inhabited this skin, or try to be him again. But standing here looking at the evidence of the life he is slowly building - his clothes in a crumpled heap on the floor by the bed, his toothbrush in the little cup in the bathroom, a picture of he and Jake in a frame by the bed now, the very small silver ring he wears sometimes even though they’re not and they probably won’t but it kind of feels good to wear it sometimes... 

He wonders if Liam Harker wanted a life like this one.

---

“It’s really dumb,” Kauri mutters, pulling the pillow over his face, burning red with embarrassment. “I didn’t even really mean for you to see it-”

“It’s not dumb,” Jake says, gently. Kauri feels the dip in the mattress as he sits down, feels the warmth of his hand resting on Kauri’s thigh through the blanket. “I’m sorry I read it. I didn’t know what I was looking at. If it was supposed to be a secret-”

“No. I didn’t. I forgot I left it out on the dresser. It’s not your fault. It’s so fucking stupid. I don’t know why I even-”

“Kauri.” Jake’s voice sharpens, a little. “Stop. Stop calling yourself stupid. You’re not, and you never were, and you don’t have to repeat what that asshole told you about yourself anymore, remember?”

Kauri swallows, hard, a lump in his throat he can’t quite breathe around. “When does it stop being his voice,” He asks, muffled, “and start being my own?”

“When you let it,” Jake says, rubbing his leg soothingly. “Just like my dad’s voice. You’re not stupid. You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met in my life. I’m sorry I read it, but that’s because it wasn’t mine to read, not because it was dumb, or bad. It wasn’t.”

Kauri hesitates, then pulls the pillow to the side, looking at the sincere affection in Jake’s face, his slight smile. “Yeah? You’re not just-”

“Saying that? No, I’m not. I mean, I’m not, like, a poetry person-”

“It’s not even a real villanelle, anyway.”

“I have no idea what that means. I just... I thought it was pretty good, actually. When I realized-...  I put it down when I realized you were writing about-... you know. Yourself.”

“Liam,” Kauri says, hoarse, barely able to pronounce the name. “I wrote-”

“Yeah.” Jake takes his hand, pulls it to his lips, presses a kiss to Kauri’s knuckles. “I know. It’s really good, Kaur. You should keep writing. I promise I won’t look at any stray papers I find anymore, yeah?”

Kauri takes a breath. He feels almost dizzy, in a way that is both terrible and wonderful. The way you open yourself to the people you love is a horrible, amazing risk. The way you spill the darkest parts of yourself, not things you’ve done wrong but the things you are afraid of allowing back into the light, in case it washes them all away again.

But the light he lives in now isn’t cold, and it isn’t taking him away from himself. The light he lives in now is sunlight.

“What?” Jake’s eyebrows raise slightly. “What’s that face for?”

“Jake. What if-... what if I ask you to? Read them?”

Jake’s lips press together, and he nods, smiling slightly, closing his eyes and leaning his forehead against Kauri’s hand. He’s always warm, Jake, even on the coldest days. He’s always warm. “I’d be-... be fucking honored, or something that sounds less bullshit than that, but I mean it. I’d be... I love you, Kauri. Seeing inside your head is what I want to do for-... for forever.”

“Maybe I’ll ask then,” Kauri says, and pulls Jake’s hand and then Jake himself, the taller, larger man settling on top of him, holding himself up on his elbows, careful not to rest all his weight. “I love you, too, you know.”

“Yeah.” Jake kisses the tip of his nose. “It’s pretty fucking great.”

Kauri’s eyes glimmer, but he closes them so Jake can’t see, and kisses his forehead. “It’s nice to think that I’m lucky and mean it.”

“I think you should read your poem to Dr. Berger,” Jake says, and when Kauri groans, he pulls back. “I mean it. She should know.”

Kauri wants to argue, but he looks into Jake’s eyes, and sighs, and says he’ll think about it.

---

AN APOLOGY

I am built from the hollow air left after your heart stopped beating

Your hands still gripped tight to the life they were ending

I know you thought of home but I don’t know where your home is

The sound of my voice is a green valley that only sends back screaming

Covered in smoke and dust that I told myself smelled like cologne

Pathways that remember your laughter silent in the years that followed

Have I done enough to build a life you would have enjoyed living?

I am built from the hollow air left over when your heart stopped beating

The heat of their hands as inevitable as a river tore down every foundation

Their cruelty buried you so deeply that only I remain

I don’t deserve the love that should have been yours to receive

The sound of my voice is a valley echoing back your screaming

I owe you an apology for walking around inside you

Crumbling ruins with my touch and calling it preservation

I’m sorry for every blade of grass growing through our bones

Am I nothing but hollow air from when your heart stopped beating?

-

Wildflowers grow inside me from soil windswept over ash

Is that life worth everything not quite dead so deep below?

Is Kauri Grant good enough to make up for Liam Harker’s loss?

In the valley of my body, does anyone but me still hear you screaming?

I owe you an apology and have to hope the life I live provides it

I wish I could ask for forgiveness from the shape of you  

We’re both ghosts, in the end, mosaic pieces shattered in shadows

I’m sorry that I’m all that’s left.

I built myself from hollow air in the shape of a heart still beating

The sound of my voice will always carry the echo of yours screaming

Tagging: @burtlederp , @finder-of-rings , @endless-whump , @whumpfigure , @astrobly @newandfiguringitout , @doveotions , @pretty-face-breaker , @boxboysandotherwhump , @orchidscript @cubeswhump , @whump-tr0pes @whumpiary @moose-teeth @whumptywhumpdump @wildfaewhump

[delicioussshame]

And now, for something a bit different. Set in the Sugar Baby AU.

Shang Qinghua cannot believe Shen Yuan’s gall. How can he, a very unproductive member of society, dares to criticize Shang Qinghua’s output? At least he contributes something, unlike some people who are paid to look pretty.

And, apparently, do more than that now.

Good for him, really. Shang Qinghua has heard his fair share of horror stories about Luo Binghe, but since Shen Yuan cannot stop singing his praises in that oblivious way of his, he cannot be that bad.

Plus, you know, Luo Binghe is very, very hot. Hot enough that even Shen Yuan, famous for his ability to ignore even the most blatant double entendre, cannot deny it. Shang Qinghua can imagine much worst fates than having to fuck him.

Now, if Shang Qinghua could get him to share all the juicy details, he’s sure it would make for great inspiration.

Not that there is much chance of that happening, not with the way Shen Yuan clams up as soon as Shang Qinghua so much as hints about his sex life.

Shen Yuan is a hypocrite, that’s what he is. He sure isn’t shy about complaining about Shang Qinghua’s sex scenes, or every aspect of Shang Qinghua’s writing.

Well, Shang Qinghua isn’t going to let him get away with it. He’s going to hear about it too! He just has to-

“What are you doing.”

Shang Qingua drops his phone in his haste to shove it down his pockets, so he gets to scramble under his desk like an idiot right in front of his boss. Fucking great. “Nothing! I wasn’t doing anything!”

Mobei-Jun’s angry growl has no right to be this sexy. “You’re supposed to be working. Get to it.”

Shang Qinghua sits back at his desk as fast as possible, randomly pulling a file off his desk while opening one excel spreadsheet or another. “I will! I’ll do it! I’m doing it now! I’m sorry!” That’s what Shang Qinghua gets for maintaining an acquaintance with an old friend who doesn’t have to worry about office hours.

Then again, this is kind of his job? Mobei-Jun wanted him to keep an eye out for anything useful on Luo Binghe, so he’s technically not slacking! “Actually, I was just messaging Shen Yuan, trying to get the info you asked for! He’s not very open, but I’m working on it!” He doesn’t think Shen Yuan will ever give him something Mobei-Jun would benefit from, but not for the reasons he’d think. From the way Shen Yuan complains about Luo Binghe’s general disinterest in the business he’s somehow managing like he was born into it, which he very much wasn’t, it wouldn’t even cross Luo Binghe’s mind to keep Shen Yuan informed on the ins and outs.

So Shang Qinghua is trying to find a way to get Shen Yuan to ask for said intel, cause he has a feeling Luo Binghe would tell him everything without a second thought. For someone who decided to pay their sex partner instead of wooing them, which someone like Luo Binghe could certainly have managed, he seems utterly besotted.

“Can’t we just pay him for it? He’s fine with being a whore; why wouldn’t he accept cash for info?”

Shang Qinghua winces and ducks instinctively to evade the slap Shen Yuan would have given him if he’d called him a whore in his presence. “It’s not quite like that. Shen Yuan’s relationship with Luo Binghe is complicated. Yes, Luo Binghe is paying for him, but from what I’ve gathered, it was more to skip the wooing and get to the good parts faster.” At least that’s what Shang Qinghua thinks happened. Shen Yuan, again, isn’t the most open about the details.

Plus, Shang Qinghua can’t say it didn’t work. Luo Binghe managed to get Shen Yuan living with him and doing nothing but being available to him 24/7. That has to count as a success.

Mobei-Jun seems baffled. “You can do that?”

Shang Qinghua shrugs. “Most people wouldn’t be into it, but I can get behind it. If someone with Luo Binghe’s wealth and looks told me they wanted to finance my lifestyle in exchange of sex, I’d do it in a heartbeat. Good life, here I come!”

Shang Qinghua then remembers he’s talking to his boss and not one of his former college buddies. “Ha ha, not that I really would! I am devoted to my job! I wouldn’t leave it, so please don’t fire me!” He needs the money to live!

“I’d pay you.”

Shang Qinghua startles for a second, before his brain catches up to reality. “Ha ha, that’s a funny joke, Boss.” He doesn’t know why Mobei-Jun chose now to try to develop a sense of humor, but he’s not surprised that when he decides to do so, it’s at Shang Qinghua’s expense.

“Not a joke.” Mobei-Jun takes out his wallets and pulls out what has to be at least a couple thousands yuan, which he waves in the air almost threateningly. “Take it.”

Shang Qinghua is utterly flummoxed. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

Shang Qinghua leans over the desk and tentatively takes the money.

In exchange, strong arms grab his waist, lifts him off the chair he was just sitting him like he could do it in his sleep, settles him on the desk and kisses him until Shang Qinghua has to push him back to breathe, because he cannot use his nose and his mouth at the same time right now. Not enough brain cells left.

“The hell?” says Shang Qinghua with all the eloquence he has left.

Then, his brain catches up with his mouth. If, for some unfathomable reason, Mobei-Jun has decided Shang Qinghua was worthy of him spending his money, Shang Qinghua will do the smartest thing he’s ever done and let him.

Why Mobei-Jun just didn’t use his words and tell Shang Qinghua he wanted him, Shang Qinghua will probably never know. It’s not like Shang Qinghua would have told him no. No matter what Shen Yuan says, he’s not stupid. The embodiment of all his fantasies wants to fuck him? Shang Qinghua is into that.

Oh god, Shen Yuan. He’s going to have to explain to him that latest development, will he?

…Naaah. He doesn’t need to know for now.

Anyway, what is there to explain?

…Is there something to explain? Mobei-Jun hasn’t spoken since Shang Qinghua freed himself, so maybe he’s reconsidering? Shit, maybe Shang Qinghua is a terrible kisser? Is he a terrible kisser? Is Mobei-Jun reconsidering? Of course he’s reconsidering. He’s not stupid either.

This train of thoughts is stopped by Mobei-Jun’s growling, grabbing his shoulders, pushing him down on the desk and devouring his mouth.

Shang Qinghua probably isn’t a terrible kisser then! Yes! Also Mobei-Jun isn’t reconsidering, so double yes!

That’s a good thing, because he’s pretty certain he’s going to need the money to replace the shirt Mobei-Jun is apparently very offended by, if the way he ripped it off Shang Qinghua, sending buttons flying everywhere, can be believed. Not that he cares about the shirt. Mobei-Jun can destroy all of them if he wants to. Especially if it’s always following by Mobei-Jun’s teeth getting very familiar with his chest.

Or the rest of him. Mobei-Jun is so lucky Shang Qinghua is both incredibly thirsty for him and suffering from long-term celibacy. He’s definitely willing to go despite the aggressive lack of foreplay.

Not that he can imagine a moment where Mobei-Jun almost tearing his pants open to get his mouth on his cock wouldn’t be welcomed. Shang Qinghua is always down for that. Very, very down for that.

Shang Qinghua balls his hands into fists, nails digging into the flesh of his palms, to stop himself from holding Mobei-Jun’s head. Mobei-Jun might bite them off.

Shang Qinghua also bites his tongue hard enough to bleed. The building is nice enough, but Shang Qinghua can be very loud.  The last thing he wants is for some underling to come running and find them like this. He would feel guilty to have caused a death.

Soon enough, another pressing concern makes itself known. “Boss, ah, please, you should let me go.” Shang Qingqiu has never even dreamed of Mobei-Jun blowing him, but he sure doesn’t seem like the type to swallow, and he wants to keep his cock in working order. He might get to use it more later.

Mobei-Jun glares at him over his cock, which has no business being this hot. Shang Qinghua is sure he felt him twitch and leak on his tongue.

Hey, if Shang Qinghua is wrong and Mobei-Jun is the type to swallow, more power to him. Shang Qinghua isn’t exactly going to complain.

Shang Qinghua whites out when he finally comes, and then probably does so again when he opens his eyes and is faced with Mobei-Jun staring at him, a little whitish drop on the corner of his mouth.

Fuck, he just got blown by Mobei-Jun. When did his life become so great?

Mobei-Jun kisses him again with no less urgency, which Shang Qinghua can sympathize with. He hasn’t done anything for his poor boss, has he? Time to remediate that.

___________

Shang Qinghua blinks repeatedly, trying to keep himself awake after the many, many rounds he’s just gone through.

His back is going to hurt like hell, isn’t it? And not just his back. He’ll probably be out of commission for days.

Doesn’t matter. So worth it. Even if it was a one-time thing, it’d still be worth it.

Is it a one-time thing? Does Shang Qinghua still have a job? Two jobs?

He should ask, right? It’s probably the right time to do so. Even Mobei-Jun probably is in a good mood after getting laid. “Boss?”

Mobei-Jun makes a noise Shang Qinghua decides to interpret as encouragement for him to continue. “Am I your sugar baby now? Do I have to come to work tomorrow?”

Mobei-Jun frowns.

Well, the whole thing was pretty spontaneous. There is probably no plan.

“You’re working tomorrow.”

Ahh, too bad. Well, it was nice while it lasted.

“I have to get you a replacement before you go.”

Shang Qinghua straightens up. “Just to be clear, that’s because you’re going to bankroll me personally, right? Not because I just lost my job for being unprofessional, right?”

Mobei-Jun nods.

Success! Shang Qinghua just won at life! He'll finally get to write whatever he wants instead of what sells! And he’s got a scorching not-boyfriend on top of it! Take that, Shen Yuan! You’re not the only one who can attract crazy rich guys! “Am I moving in with you? Or are we just not-dating? I’ll do whatever you want, no problem! Or wear whatever you want, cause this shirt is so dead I’m not sure how I’m going to leave this room, but I don’t care! You can do it again if you want to!”

Mobei-Jun throws his blazer in Shang Qinghua’s face like he’s an especially rude shoujo manga love interest. “Put this on. I’ll get back to you for the details, but you’ll be moving in with me.”

“Okay! I’ll be waiting!” He’ll wait forever if he has to. So worth it.

He’ll have to remember to buy Shen Yuan something to thank him for making this possible.

He’ll probably order him a bunch of the weirdest sex toys he can find and have them delivered anonymously to Luo Binghe. Shen Yuan will thank him someday.

Okay, he never will, but Shang Qinghua will know in his heart he did right by his friend.

[v4mptsuki]

tutoring (k. tsukishima x reader)

genre: fluff

warnings: none

tsukishima was always an observer. he liked to analyze people, understand them. it was almost a hobby of his. especially when the people around him were intriguing. such as the strange girl who was in almost all his classes. he knew she had to have been smart, considering she was taking the same classes as him, but it never seemed like she tried very hard.

she would walk into class just as the bell rang, take a seat near the back, and zone out all period. he barely ever saw her take notes. it drove tsukishima insane. how had she not dropped down classes yet? so naturally, he did a bit more observing. the next time the teacher passed out test grades, he subtly peeked at hers. infuriatingly enough, she had gotten a better grade than him. how in the world did she manage that when she barely paid attention?

his curiosity led tsukishima to observing her outside of class too. he would find her in the hallways, and at lunch, and walking into school during the mornings. she seemed to have a group of friends, but through his observations he deduced she was more of a tag-a-long to the group. he could see it in the way she would be rambling to the girl next to her at their lunch table, before being brushed off in favor of the others. honestly with friends like those she'd be better off sitting alone.

it was only a matter of time before tsukishima and her were paired up on a project. 

it was science, and the teacher announced they'd be doing partner labs. a week long project that involved experiments outside of school, and a big poster board presentation at the end. tsukishima wasn't worried about it, until he was paired with her. there was no way tsukishima would stand for her leaving this project in his hands to complete.

he walked over to her desk when the teacher told them to get started, and sat down in the now empty seat next to her's. her eyes were trained on her phone as she scrolled through social media, and tsukishima was already envisioning asking the teacher for a new partner. it was like she didn't even notice him sit down. tsukishima cleared his throat, causing her eyes to glance up at him.

"yeah?" she asked, sounding quite bored.

"we're partners," tsukishima replied, his eyes still locked with hers.

she nodded and clicked her phone off before twisting a bit in her seat so she was facing him.

"i'm y/n, you're tsukishima right?"

so she knew who he was. tsukishima was a bit surprised, since he'd doubted she paid much attention to anyone in their classes. he nodded though, and she nodded back once.

that was the start of tsukishima and y/n's unlikely friendship. they worked everyday after school, usually late at night because of volleyball, but y/n never complained about having to wait up for him. even more surprising to tsukishima was her participation. she always seemed bored with the work, but she never suggested a bad idea, or gave a wrong calculation.

"is this work boring to you?" tsukishima asked one night as they sat in his room, both working on the calculations for different trials of their experiment.

y/n raised an eyebrow, wondering if he was asking a literal question. when tsukishima didn't add anything else, she just shrugged.

"i mean sure. school's always boring," she commented.

tsukishima pursed his lips, "but not challenging?"

she shook her head, "nope."

then, it began to make more sense. her wandering thoughts in class, and general disinterest in school. it was easy for her. tsukishima then also realized, that as much as he enjoyed observing her, he liked knowing her a lot better.

the day of their presentation, tsukishima could see their poster board wobbling in y/n's hold. that explained why she sat in the back of class. without saying anything, tsukishima took control of the presentation. he gave the general explanation of their experiment, and answered all the difficult questions the teacher asked. he let y/n read the data, and made sure to give her credit for the calculations she did, so she would get a good participation grade.

the teacher thanked them, and they both walked back to their seats together. tsukishima had started sitting with y/n near the back. she gave him a small smile once they were seated, and tsukishima felt a strange sense of pride in himself. he noticed her discomfort, and made it better. clearly y/n was pleased with him, since that was the first smile he'd gotten from her. it made him feel accomplished. that day after class, tsukishima waited with y/n as she packed up her things.

"thank you," she said quietly, her eyes pointed downwards as she piled notebooks into her bag.

"of course, i couldn't have you messing up the presentation with your nerves," tsukishima replied, obvious teasing in his tone.

y/n rolled her eyes, another hint of a smile on her face as she kept her gaze down. she swung her bag over her shoulder and looked up at tsukishima.

"still, i appreciated it."

tsukishima just nodded, not sure he would be able to keep his cool demeanor if he said anything else. he parted ways with y/n at the doorway, and headed off to volleyball. just as he was thinking about seeing her after practice, it hit him. the project was over. there was no need to see y/n after practice anymore, which sent a surprising amount of disappointment through his chest.

luckily for him though, practice revealed that hinata and kageyama needed tutoring, and who better to help him than y/n, the smartest girl he knew. he promised the team that hinata and kageyama would pass their exams, and that night he texted y/n to ask for her assistance.

tsukishima felt his face heat up at her last text. he quickly shut his phone off and placed it on his night stand, trying to push the overly analytical side of his mind down. he couldn't stop himself though, and he began to overthink. what did that smiley face mean? he fell asleep with his mind on her, and the next morning he woke up excited to see her again.

they had science together last period, so tsukishima, as always, waited for y/n to grab her stuff before she left.

"hey tsukki," y/n started as she collected her pens off her desk.

"yeah?"

"could i stay during your practice? i won't if i'll be in the way, but i just thought it might be easier for me to wait than to come back up to school afterwards. if it's alright though, i don't wanna overstep any-"

"it's fine y/n. i'm sure they'll like having an audience to show off for," tsukishima said,  interrupting her nervous rambling.

the more tsukishima got to know y/n, the more he began to understand the reasons behind the behavior that intrigued him so much. she wasn't as detached from school as she looked; she actually seemed to be overly worried. tsukishima didn't understand that. why would it matter what people thought? he didn't say this to y/n though, since clearly it was a topic that bothered her. he didn't want to do anything to upset her; he liked her company too much.

"ok, thanks. i'll try not to distract your team too much," y/n teased as she pulled her bag onto her shoulder.

"not much you can do about that," tsukishima replied, before realizing what he'd just implied.

y/n's cheeks flushed, but thankfully she didn't comment on it. the two walked to the gym in comfortable silence as tsukishima's mind ran on overdrive. he couldn't believe he'd basically just admitted he thought she was pretty. it was true, but it seemed so embarrassing to admit. he didn't want y/n to get the wrong idea about their friendship.

tsukishima swung the gym doors open, and let y/n walk in before him. he followed right after her, and immediately regretted not giving her a bit of a warning when tanaka and noya spotted her. the boys rushed forward, their eyes wide with excitement.

"hi!" noya exclaimed, practically bouncing on the balls of his feet.

"what's a pretty girl like you doing here?" tanaka asked, his voice too loud and excited to come off as creepy.

y/n looked like a deer caught in headlights though, and tsukishima mentally cursed himself for not taking her anxiety around people into account before bringing her here. he stepped up behind her, placing an arm over her shoulders protectively.

"give her some space idiots," he chided the other boys, whose eyes widened further as they looked up at tsukishima.

"tsukishima brought a girl?" tanaka asked, obvious shock in his voice.

tsukishima just rolled his eyes and led y/n over to the bleachers.

"don't mind them," he muttered, hoping to take away some of her nerves, "they're easily excited."

y/n laughed lightly, and tsukishima felt himself relax. she wasn't upset with him. y/n sat down and tsukishima stood by her as she pulled a book out of her bag. she started to read, but glanced back up at him before she got too far along.

"shouldn't you be doing warm ups or something?"

tsukishima shrugged, "i'm keeping the dogs at bay right now."

y/n peeked around him and saw almost all the boys in the gym watching her. her face flushed again and she ducked her head down.

"have these guys ever seen a girl before?" she muttered, making tsukishima let out a small laugh.

"apparently not," he replied.

then, tsukishima was called into practice, and the group's attention shifted to volleyball. every couple minutes, tsukishima would find himself looking over at y/n, just to see what she was doing. yamaguchi caught on quickly though, and pulled him aside during a water break.

"what's up with the girl tsukki?"

tsukishima choked on his water, and let out a quick cough to cover up his shock.

"nothing. she's gonna help me tutor hinata and kageyama."

yamaguchi grinned like he was in on some kind of secret.

"so, how do you know her?"

"she's in a few of my classes. we did a lab together. she's really smart," tsukishima answered, once again glancing over at her.

she was still reading, looking completely lost in her book.

"aw tsukki! you should see the way you look at her," yamaguchi gushed.

tsukishima gave his friend a cold stare, and yamaguchi stopped talking about her.

practice seemed to go on forever, and all tsukishima could think about the fact that y/n was watching him play. those thoughts ran even more rampant when he glanced over and saw her watching him. then, he found himself trying harder than normal. he didn't want to look weak in front of y/n. after a particularly well done receive, he looked up and met her eyes. she gave him a quick thumbs up, and tsukishima turned back to practice before his face could heat up.

by the time daichi wrapped up practice, it was dark outside. that never seemed to bother y/n though. hinata approached him as soon as they were released, a huge smile on his face.

"is it time for tutoring tsukishima? is that why you brought a pretty girl with you? is she going to help us too? or was she here just to watch you?"

questions came out of hinata in a rush, and tsukishima found himself fighting a blush off his cheeks.

"calm down dumbass," he snapped, "get changed out of your practice clothes, and then we'll start."

hinata nodded eagerly, and rushed into the locker room with kageyama on his tail. tsukishima followed after them, but not before looking over at y/n again. she was watching him intently, a soft look on her face. tsukishima ducked into the locker room before he could think of anything to say. he changed quickly, and found himself putting on his grey hoodie just because he liked how it looked on him. stupid y/n. he never thought about things like that before.

"bye tsukki," yamaguchi said with a wave as he began to exit the locker room.

some of the other boys filed out after him, and tsukishima took his time carefully gathering his school things after putting away his practice clothes. he heard some chatter coming from the main room, and almost immediately caught y/n's voice in the mix. he sighed again, and grabbed his bags to save her from whichever boy was talking her ear off.

tanaka, noya, and hinata were crowded around her while kageyama stood a distance away. tsukishima walked over, and caught some of their conversation.

"why do you like tsukishima?" hinata asked, his voice levels louder than y/n's.

"what?" y/n replied.

"he's so mean!" hinata exclaimed.

"and scary," noya added.

y/n furrowed her brows in confusion, "he's not scary at all."

hinata's eyebrows raised, "he doesn't scare you?"

then, he noticed tsukishima approaching, and crossed his arms over his chest.

"why are you nice to her and not us?"

tanaka and noya copied his pose, while y/n gave tsukishima a wide-eyed look that said, wow these guys have a lot of energy.

"maybe if you three were as smart as y/n i'd be nice to you too. speaking of which, don't we have tutoring to do?" tsukishima responded.

"ha! you've got it bad tsukishima, my man," tanaka exclaimed clapping him on the back.

then, he scrambled out of the gym before tsukishima could clap back over that remark. noya just wiggled his eyebrows at tsukishima before chasing after tanaka.

"have fun losers!" noya exclaimed over his shoulder as they left.

tsukishima rolled his eyes, and the study session began. kageyama joined them on the bleachers, and they started with math. y/n's favorite subject was math, so he let her take the lead. her eyes seemed to light up as she worked out the problems, explaining them with just enough patience that hinata and kageyama understood easily.

then, they moved on to the other subjects. whenever tsukishima started to get frustrated with hinata and kageyama, all it took was for y/n to make a comment, or laugh at their antics for all the frustration to leave tsukishima's mind. the boys seemed to notice it too, and while they were packing up, hinata just had to mention it.

"i see why you like tsukishima now y/n. he's nice around you!" hinata commented.

y/n shook her head, "you have the wrong idea hinata. but yeah, he's nice."

hinata looked between y/n and tsukishima with a raised brow.

"wait you two aren't dating?"

"hinata shut up!" kageyama hissed, swatting at him.

hinata moved out of his way and glared at kageyama.

"what? it's a genuine question."

y/n shook her head quickly as she shoved her books back into her bag. tsukishima could tell she was getting nervous with everyone's attention on her.

"stop being so nosey hinata," tsukishima snapped.

he walked over to stand by y/n, and he helped her climb down the bleachers to leave. she waved goodbye to hinata and kageyama before following tsukishima outside. the sun was completely set, and the only light came from the lamps lining the sidewalks around campus.

"sorry about them. they're all dimwits," tsukishima apologized once they were a fair distance away from the gym.

y/n shook her head, "it's alright. they seem very different from you though. how do you manage to play together?"

"they're good players. we make it work," he answered.

they walked in silence for a few more steps. then, they reached the exit of the school's grounds. both of them paused their walking, and y/n glanced up at tsukishima to find him looking down at her.

"well, thanks for letting me watch your practice. you're better than i would've guessed," y/n said with a teasing grin.

"i'd like to see you try to play, i bet that would shut you up," he teased back.

y/n laughed and adjusted the strap of her bag.

"so, it seemed like they got the concepts i taught."

tsukishima nodded, "you're a good teacher."

"thanks," y/n said, a proud look on her face.

"you could still come by tomorrow if you wanted to though," tsukishima offered, trying to keep his voice steady.

he was far too nervous over such a simple offer.

y/n's face lit up though, "really? to tutor them again?"

tsukishima nodded, "sure, if you want, or you could just watch practice. whatever you want."

"i'd like that tsukki," she replied, a bright smile on her face.

"alright then. let me walk you home; it's late," tsukishima offered, his nerves running too wild for him to just stand there looking at her any longer.

y/n nodded, accepting his offer, and reached out to loop her arm through his. tsukishima fought off another blush as they started the walk towards her house, and a thought settled into his mind that this was going to become a new routine for the pair of them.

[theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin]

I'm curious, what are your thoughts on Canon Harry, Hermione, and Ron?

Given my absolute trashing everyone else and sparse comments on Harry, you can probably guess.

I honestly don’t even know where to start with this.

I guess we’ll start with Harry.

Harry Potter

First, sorry guys, Harry is painfully stupid. It’s not that he doesn’t try hard academically, that he’s not book smart, or that he’s just acting his own age, he is honestly, truly, painfully dumb and is consistently an idiot throughout the entire series.

Let’s take third year as a random example. Harry’s informed there’s a mass murdering Death Eater on the loose that has the country in such a panic that they send dementors to Hogwarts, he is told directly that this guy has motive to come directly after him, he even notices that he’s kept a close eye on that summer in Diagon Alley.

Harry decides that his life is a bottomless pit of despair if he can’t go to Hogsmeade every month with everyone else. Not even if he doesn’t get the candy, Hermione and Ron bring him that afterwards, but not going at all brings him misery. And I get it, it sucks to be stuck in the castle when all your friends get to go on a field trip. BUT HARRY, HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHY EVERYONE’S MAKING YOU STAY IN THE CASTLE?! Harry’s response is he isn’t afraid of death because... he isn’t afraid of death. Really, it’s not so much that he’s that brave but more that he hasn’t thought this one through. 

Harry finally gets to sneak out to Hogsmeade and is thrilled and it takes Hermione pointing out that Sirius Black may very well know these other entrances (which he does) for Harry to even realize this is a possibility (even though Harry didn’t make the map). His response to Hermione is surprised Pikachu face for two seconds then, “No, there’s no way, Sirius Black could never figure out something as cool as this.” Then, when Harry’s finally caught, it takes both Snape and Lupin calling him a dick who dishonors his parent’s sacrifice and entire nation trying to keep him safe, for Harry to realize that maybe sneaking into Hogsmeade was a pretty shitty thing to do. 

We also have the whole firebolt incident in which Harry’s sent a very suspicious package that could very well kill him with no return address. Harry gets unbelievably pissed that Hermione narks on him, even though he does eventually get the broom back. How dare Hermione get in the way of his quidditch!

This is just one book, mind you, we could go through all seven and find equally mind bogglingly dumb moments. Harry’s just not a bright guy (he also is very academically lazy, but that’s not the same thing.)

Otherwise, Harry doesn’t just have a little anger issue, he has a serious problem and I’m convinced he’s a psychopath. 

Whoa, you say, hold on! Where does that come from?

Well, not so much the earlier books. While Harry is a dick (and yes, guys, he is) he doesn’t show really worrying tendencies. The worst he gets up to is icing out Hermione when she becomes inconvenient (see Firebolt fiasco), treating Neville like trash (Harry bails on Neville to sneak out to Hogsmeade), and just being generally self-centered. 

I’m talking about the Order of the Phoenix onward. First we have HARRY’S RAGING CAPS-LOCKS FOR AN ENTIRE NOVEL. Granted, he’s an angry dude in a stressful situation, but that was... a lot. But it’s really Half-Blood Prince were I start grimacing.

We have his reaction to Ginny. It never really seems like Harry ever likes Ginny, it’s more that he has this green rage monster in his chest that wants to possess her. It is the weirdest thing I’ve ever read in my life. Or, well, one of them. So that’s... a thing. 

Then we have the whole Draco thing. Harry becomes obsessed with Draco Malfoy, more so than usual. And yes, Draco was up to no good, and sure we can tilt our heads and say it’s pretext for Draco/Harry. Except guys, Harry’s scary about it. Take out the appeal of the slash for two seconds, Harry stalking Draco is that problematic thing that if Draco were a woman we’d be saying “ABORT ABORT ABORT”. It of course, culminates in the bathroom incident. Now, you say, Harry didn’t know what that spell would do. Well, he knew it was for enemies and even afterwards, though he panics and feels bad, what he really seems to be bad about is the potential consequences to himself not the action. he focuses more on the fact that the beloved Halfblood Prince was Snape than he does the fact that he nearly murdered Malfoy. If I’m remembering correctly, Harry in fact makes out with Ginny not long after, got to set that chest monster loose, y’all. 

Then in book seven Harry starts using the unforgivables with absolutely no regret. Torture for you, Bellatrix, I am edgy now. It’s very clear that Harry only cares superficially about morality. He generally follows the rules and various ideals because he likes the idea of being noble and virtuous, he isn’t actually a virtuous guy at all. 

I’m not even sure he really understands friendship. Harry’s friends are people who are great and all except when they become inconvenient, then he can treat them like the trash they are until they come back around (if ever). 

He’s kind of a monster actually. 

He’s also the poster child of why Voldemort may have a teensy-tiny point that the statute of secrecy as it stands around muggle children is not sustainable. Really doesn’t look good for the cause when the most famous child in the wizarding world is raised by extremely abusive muggles and grows up extremely maladjusted because of it. 

Hermione Granger

Now, I give Harry a lot of flak for his treatment of Hermione, but Hermione’s not a barrel of roses either. She may be friends with a pair of assholes who don’t really like her all that much, but she kind of dug her own grave.

First, Hermione has a bit of a superiority complex, even when she’s completely friendless. She absolutely looks down on girls like Pavarti and Lavender and part of the reason they hate her so much is because of that. That’s part of Hermione’s issue, she’s too good for everyone, and so she eventually becomes friends with famous Harry Potter and Ron Weasley who barely tolerate her because she was too good to be friends with, say, Neville.

Hermione never realizes this.

She also deeply enjoys, I believe, being the smartest person in the room and much smarter than her friends. Granted, this is what she defines herself as, and it means she’s needed by everyone around her for this reason, but she still does like it just a little too much.

And oh my god is she horrifyingly righteous.

This we see in what happens to Marietta, Umbridge, as well as her own parents. She permanently disfigures a girl for snitching them out to Umbridge, never telling anyone this was the consequence, and is smug when we see what happens to her because “snitches get stitches”. It’s pretty heavily implied by canon that Umbridge was raped by centaurs (first they’re centaurs, that’s what centaurs do, second we next see Umbridge in the hospital wing looking catatonic and the gang laughs and makes horsey noises). Yes, Umbridge is a vile evil woman, but that Hermione’s so proud of her vengeance is.... concerning.

Finally, her parents. Hermione, without asking her parents’ consent, wipes their memories and rewrites their entire lives. Congratulations Hermione, even more than Harry you are the poster child for Voldemort’s cause of “what goes wrong when muggles raise a magical child”. Hermione essentially kills her parents, treating them like no more than dolls, and the most she’s upset about is what it did to her. To Hermione, her parents aren’t people, not really.

People in general aren’t people, or at least, Hermione is more than willing to go to drastic lengths if she feels she has been slighted or betrayed. Never get on Hermione Granger’s bad side.

Ron Weasley

Shockingly, I’m not really a “Ron the Death Eater” kind of person. Ron clearly has an inferiority complex, he sees being friends with Harry as a way to make him special from his brothers, he’s overly ambitious and easily jealous, he’s academically lazy, kind of an ass, and he has many flaws as a person.

That said, he’s not the same level of scary asshole as Hermione and Harry. Ron doesn’t cut up Draco Malfoy in a bathroom or even disfigure the guy. He’s just your more or less normal dude who doesn’t realize he’s friends with lunatics. 

TL;DR Harry and Hermione are assholes. Ron’s kind of an asshole too but shockingly less so than the other two.

[puppy-phum]

fandom - the untamed! 👀

oh i haven't thought about cql in ages but i put on my playlist for it just for this so here we go. enjoy the ride! (i sure as hell did ♥)

001 | Send me a fandom and I will tell you my:

Favorite character: Jiang Cheng i have talked about him a million times but i still find it funny how i didn't really like him at first. the donghua version of him felt like a total ass, and as the donghua lacked the ending back then and didn’t give me closure, only during the live action i grew fond of him. he has made his fair share of mistakes but i love how flawed he is and how much his character promises hope of growth ♥

Least Favorite character: Jin Guangshan bitch ass man can go burn in hell for all i care

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): XiCheng, WangXian, NieMo , SongXiao, Jiang Yanli + Jin Zixuan ♥

Character I find most attractive: Lan Wangji and Lan Xichen i truly cannot choose between the twin jades of lan. they are both just so beautiful. there's such grace in both of them and i love it how different yet similar they are. i could write poems about their beauty but also just about their characters and their bond.

Character I would marry: Wen Qing my wife ♥ idk if i would truly marry any of the cql characters but i wouldn't say no to her haha 

Character(s) I would be best friends with: The One Braincell Trio i would absolutely drink myself under the table with jc, wwx, and nhs. it would be so much fun. as long as we don't get sad drunk hhhh

a random thought: our juniors are just a new generation of leaders in the making and in my head, ljy will become the chief cultivator, mark my words

An unpopular opinion: uuuhh idk if i have any. it truly has been too long. i cannot get into details, am sorry. 

My Canon OTP: WangXian they are the epitome of true love, of soulmates, of star-crossed lovers, of everything that is good in this dark world. they have all the tropes in them i love. they are both such strong and independent ppl but find gentleness, warmth, and easiness in each other. they make a home. they have defeated death, and if that isn't enough, then idk what to tell you. 

My Non-canon OTP: XiCheng they are two ppl attempting to heal together. they are fire and ice, storm and calm, winter and summer. they meet between the river and the mountain. but i think what mostly attracted me to them was the promise of hope and healing and finding love when it had once been lost. 

Most Badass Character: Lan Wangji only based on how he looks when he fights like. hell. that looks stunning?? he was born to wield a sword i swear (honorary mention goes to his husband yiling patriarch bc will we ever get over those wonderful vibes? never)

Most Epic Villain: Nie Huaisang our master mind ♥ he and his intelligence astonish me. he's just so cool. idk if we can properly count him as a villain bc who truly is a villain in cql (other than like. wen ruohan?? who just got cringe with his emo villain aesthetic byeee) but he is our Big Bad Guy in the end. he is a villain - yet also some type of hero. and doesn't that just make him even more epic?

Pairing I am not a fan of: ChengYi there are actually several similar ships (like wwx and wn or lxc and nmj etc.) that i find kind of... weird? or where i can only see friendship or familiarity/family bonds instead of romantic feelings. but everyone can like what they like. more for you. (also chengyi bothers me when on twt i go through cheng yi’s (the actor) tag and suddenly i get jc x ljy porn thrown at my face like,,, god dammit)

Character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): The Women i guess we all will die on the hill that cql women deserved better.

Favourite Friendship: Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing i love their bickering and their care for each other and their companionship. i also love how wq is the only person on this earth who can put wwx in his place. that man needs to hear the cold truth sometimes which is that he's an idiot. the smartest idiot in the world mayhaps but an idiot nonetheless. also imagine if they had both been allowed to live, they could've ruled the world sigh. we support powerful besties in this house.

Character I most identify with: Jiang Cheng under the anger and him being a bitch, i do find similarities between us. we have insecurities that cripple us at times; we regard love and family most of all in complicated ways. we don't know what to say to those we care about and struggle with emotions. we suck at accepting gifts too, even if his case is a bit more extreme than my average gift received from a friend :'D

Character I wish I could be: Jin Ling i adore this tiny brat even if he is, indeed, a brat ♥ but imagine how cool it would be, all responsibilities aside, to be him: you are the nephew of half the notorious ppl of the cultivator world. any time you have a problem, you just call one uncle for help. you also have a lot of dead uncles and you're an orphan bc of some of them but :) let's ignore that pain. you would be the coolest amongst your peers. absolutely bonkers.

thank you for sending me this ask! have a very good day ^^ ♥

[spacemiddenzz]

so i was watching @super-metroid's stream of Jimmy and the Pulsating Mass (highly recommend by the way) and she fought Imaginary Numbers this time. I guess I just wanted to share my thoughts on it, since it's my favorite boss and all. This is gonna be a longpost and it's gonna have spoilers so the whole thing can be found under the cut.

So, to put it simply, this dungeon is about stress and confusion. It's about Jimmy's mind frantically trying to comprehend the high-level math that Andrew is teaching him on top of his schoolwork. Jimmy thinks that his dad is the smartest man in the world- this is hyperbole for sure, but the fact that Andrew is quite intelligent remains clear. Jimmy looks up to Andrew because of his intelligence- and because of this it means a lot to Jimmy to be praised by Andrew. He wants his dad to view him as intelligent as well, because, if a man as smart as Andrew thinks Jimmy is smart, he can't be wrong! And hell, it feels nice to be validated by your parents.

Clearly, Andrew has already recognized Jimmy's talent with numbers and has started teaching him concepts beyond the second-grade curriculum, something that we see in the flashbacks in the Symmetrical Cavern. However if Imaginary Numbers' design is anything to go by, these concepts may be at or above the high school level. They're too much for Jimmy to understand. He's only eight, and his mind just isn't ready for that yet. Still, he feels the pressure to keep up with- and understand- the work that Andrew gives him. Why? Because he fears failure. He worries that if he admits to his father that the work is too hard, Andrew won't see him as a "smart boy" any longer- and that praise and validation means a lot to Jimmy. He doesn't want to lose it.

Let's start with the song that plays during this nightmare dungeon- Counting Backwards From Infinity. From the erratic bassline to the random samples of people shouting numbers in no particular order over and over again, this song simply screams disorder and panic. As a person who has always struggled with math, it's incredibly relatable. Counting Backwards From Infinity always reminded me of taking math tests in high school. I was so slow that I almost never could finish a test in a single class period. The frantic, wild bass and the cacophony of people screaming numbers out of order reminded me of trying desperately to remember how to solve a type of problem- and do it quickly enough so that I could hand the test in before the bell rang. I imagine that this is how Jimmy feels when Andrew places in front of him a concept that the boy does not fully understand. Perhaps he's had it explained to him several times but still can't fully grasp it (likely because, again, the kid is eight). The wild confusion and stress he feels when he doesnt fucking understand what's in front of him and doesnt want to look like an idiot in front of his dad. Even the name of the song is a reference to the fact that at this stage of his life this stuff may be an insurmountable task.

The dungeon itself is also set up in an incredibly confusing way. There's a bunch of bizarre-looking purple structures and winding paths. You teleport all over the place with no particular rhyme or reason. The enemies in this area, too, are deformed geometrical shapes that are almost Lovecraftian in the way that they cannot be understood. To Jimmy, Andrew's teachings might as be as comprehensible as a Lumpagon or a Squiggles, and that's definitely the idea that one gets here. The confusion, the pressure, the panic.

At one point in the dungeon you're teleported to a fakeout area that looks like the Path of Enlightenment. This is my favorite thing about the Asymmetrical Cavern, because of the fact that it has so many cool secrets, but also because it gave me a feeling that I could (once again) relate to. Jimmy's teleportation to the Path of Enlightenment isn't random. It represents familiarity in a sea of confusion. Jimmy sees something he recognizes during Andrew's lessons. Maybe he thinks that he's finally got the hang of it- that he's studied hard enough and now all of this jargon makes sense- only to be rudely awakened by the fact that he's been doing it wrong and never understood the concept in the first place. Even the secrets kind of hint at this. If you speak to pointman in this part of the dungeon he says "I am the blood of numbers leaking from your ears. The nails of ignorance are already being driven into your brain. What point is there in giving voice to madness?" (which is metal as fuck by the way)

Jimmy just thinks that his inability to understand makes him an idiot. His lack of understanding- the nails of ignorance- are being driven into his brain. If he can't understand all of Andrew's teachings, maybe he was never a smart boy after all.

And finally let's talk about Imaginary Numbers itself. First of all, it's an amalgamation of a bunch of different mathematical symbols, including a tombstone, a slashed epsilon, and a sigma. I'm sure there are more, but those are the only ones I recognized, honestly. Given that dreams don't really make things up, instead just taking things that you have seen/experienced before, it looks like Jimmy has encountered some... seriously advanced shit. Tombstones are used in geometric proofs. I only started doing proofs in high school geometry, meaning that Jimmy may very well be learning concepts meant for kids twice his age. No wonder the poor kid is stressed.

Oh yeah, also the boss sucks ass to fight. I've heard some people call that bad game design, but I'm not sure that's how I'd classify it. Sure, like I said, the boss sucks complete ass to fight and is almost entirely RNG-dependent. From a gameplay standpoint, this is wack as hell, yeah. Fucking 30% chance to deflect any magical or physical attack with a 30% chance to dodge a physical attack on top of that? Definitely bad game design. But from an artistic standpoint? Not at all. In fact, the futility of this fight adds to it. It really drills into your head that the only thing on your side here is pure fucking luck. And the odds aren't in your favor.

The feeling of futility- of the fact that this may in fact be, by all definitions, an insurmountable task for Jimmy, really struck home the situation. The battle would not be nearly as impactful without this. And personally, I'm all for it. Imagine walking into the Asymmetrical Cavern for the first time, not knowing what to expect. You get your ass handed to you on a silver platter by Imaginary Numbers after it chains Program Omega at you five times in a row.

That's the feeling Kasey wanted to give you. And it's critical. It's just... so perfect, I honestly don't know how to put it into words. It was supposed to represent the confusion and turmoil of a task nigh insurmountable. And it did the job pretty damn well, if I do say so myself.

I know Jimmy is good at numbers and this wasn't supposed to represent a real struggle with the subject of math/the concept of numbers in general, but hot damn if I didn't feel seen. Except Jimmy is eight but I was like 17 struggling in precalc with the same shit. I guess we know Jimmy's smarter than I am rip

TLDR; andrew please stop putting unnecessary stress on your kid youre freaking him out

anyway if you guys have any thoughts about this boss or this dungeon in general i would love to hear them. but where im at its like 2 AM so im probably gonna it the mf sack for now. later dudes

[lady-divine-writes]

The Hitchhiker - Chapter 1/4

Picking up a hitchhiker isn't exactly the dumbest thing Kurt has ever done, but it's not exactly the smartest either. When he comes across Blaine Anderson caught in a sudden downpour, he can't just leave him on the corner to drown... can he? (1756 words)

Read on AO3.

“Excuse me? Sir? Do you need a ride?”

Kurt flashes as confident and honest a smile as he can to the man standing on the side of the road. But the second those words leave his mouth, he hears his father’s voice in his head yelling: “Kurt Hummel! What the hell are you doing? Picking up a hitchhiker? Are you out of your mind!?”

And Kurt has to admit, the voice is right. 

There is a fifty-fifty chance that this man, standing alone in the dark by the side of the road, is a violent serial killer. His outfit alone perpetuates the stereotype - indigo jeans, white t-shirt, leather jacket. He has an olive-green duffel slung over one shoulder and he's carrying a guitar case, for God’s sake! What are the odds that there’s actually a guitar in there!? If Kurt picks this man up, he has a greater chance of becoming a statistic than of that man being a musician! Kurt should drive away now without an inch of guilt, floor it without looking back.

And he probably would have deferred to his better judgment and stepped on the gas had it not been for a few things. 

It's pitch dark out for a start. Only a handful of street lights line the curb, installed twenty or so feet apart, which creates long expanses of shadow in between. The road they're on is in the middle of nowhere, with trees towering on both sides of them. This doesn’t help Kurt’s argument any since it seems like just the place a killer would lie in wait for a potential victim. But, in that same vein, someone or something could be stalking him, waiting for Kurt to drive away so they can pounce on him from the trees. Then it would be up to the reach of this man's legs and his athletic ability to save him.

This leads directly to reason two: the man is a klutz. In the five minutes Kurt has been stuck at this red light, he’s seen him smack himself in the face with his own bag, drop his sunglasses (pink rimmed Wayfarers, no less), catch them, then fumble them again, and step in the same puddle twice. If this man is a serial killer, he may not be the most competent one on the planet. 

Three, just as Kurt’s light turned green, it started raining. And not the light drizzle he has come to expect during his infrequent forays to San Diego, but an honest-to-God downpour. Kurt saw the man turn his face up to the sky, his shoulders slumped, wholly defeated by this new development. He put the butt of his guitar case on the toes of his shoes to keep it out of the mud, then attempted to wrap his jacket around it.

And Kurt’s heart melted. 

Kurt is a musician himself. Singer more than musician but he has friends who play the guitar. His stepbrother Finn owns a Fender that he sold plasma to afford. Puck's Gibson is the only thing he has never hawked when he needed money. And Sam, in this man's position, would take off every stitch of clothing to protect his Blueridge if it came down to it. Kurt can imagine this man’s whole life wrapped up in that case, which he is now convinced does hold a guitar.

Kurt isn't a gun enthusiast by any means, but he thinks a semi-automatic should be able to withstand some weather. He may want to Google that one later on… provided he’s still alive.

And about that guitar case: it isn’t a plain, generic, black guitar case. The thing is covered in travel stickers and bling. It has a personality all its own. An easily identifiable personality. If this man is a killer, Kurt is pretty certain every human on the West Coast would know about it. He’d be nicknamed the Kitsch Case Killer or something along those lines. That case sticks out like a sore thumb. There’s no way a man carrying a guitar case decorated like an old-school Lisa Frank binder is getting away with swiping a pack of gum, not to mention murder.

To a lesser degree (Kurt tells himself so he doesn't have to admit how idiotic this idea is), this is the most a-dork-able man Kurt has ever seen. He looks more like a puppy than a predator (weak reasoning, he knows). But Kurt has instincts about people that are usually on the money. He has to give himself credit for making it this far in life. Kurt is tougher than he looks. He has taken his fair share of licks, and he’s still ticking. 

Plus, he has bear repellent in the pocket of his jacket the size of a can of Aquanet. He feels he has his bases covered.

The man walks slowly towards Kurt's car, the curls piled atop his head hanging heavily down his cheeks the wetter he gets.

No, Kurt can’t leave him out here.

“Um. Thanks. Thanks a lot,” the man says, cautiously eyeing Kurt up and down as if he may be asking himself Kurt’s same string of questions in his head. “But I… ” The fact that he isn’t jumping at Kurt’s offer, that he’s glancing anxiously down the road, mulling his options even as rain pours down his back, puts Kurt at ease. The man looks like he’s trying to gauge if Kurt might have a weapon hiding somewhere on his person, contemplating if he’ll come out of this alive if he accepts this ride. 

Ironic, but that proves that there are two sides to every situation.

The man looks about to step away and decline until a fork of lightning turns night into day for five seconds, a boom so loud following it shakes Kurt’s rental car. 

“Sure. Okay. Why not?” He pulls open the rear door in a rush but still wary as he puts his belongings into the backseat and joins Kurt in the front. “Thank you so much. I didn’t expect it to rain this hard, or I might have stayed in my hotel room one more night.” He runs a hand through his hair, cringing at the water that sprays the headrest.

“Not a problem.” Kurt reaches behind the seat and grabs the towel he’d fished out of his luggage earlier when he’d done the same thing. But the rain was only a sprinkle then – angel spittle, his mom would have called it. “I couldn’t just drive by and leave you out here to drown.”

The man chuckles. It, much like the rest of him, is too cute for words. “My name’s Blaine.”

“Kurt.” Kurt extends a hand for Blaine to shake. Blaine looks at it, hesitates a second before taking it, still questioning Kurt and his intentions, Kurt assumes. Despite being stuck in the rain, Blaine’s hand is warm, comforting in a way Kurt speculates a serial killer’s hands would not. “Well, Blaine, where you headed?”

“Oh, uh… I’m trying to make my way to L.A. But you can drop me off anywhere between here and there.”

“Ooo. Actor? Producer?”

“Unemployed schlub, unfortunately. Currently riding my brother’s couch. He’s the actor. I’m the… the failure.”

Kurt pulls onto the road again and heads for the highway. “That’s a really unkind thing to say about yourself.”

“It’s what… well, it’s what my father would say.” He wrings his hands uncomfortably. “He’d also say I’m a disappointment, a waste of a Harvard education, a bum… ” He shivers. Kurt raises the temperature of the heater. Blaine glances at Kurt in embarrassment, and Kurt gets the hint that it’s not the cold that has him trembling.

“I know it’s not my place to say, but I’d stop listening to your father if I were you. It doesn’t seem like he has anything worthwhile to say.”

“How can you say that? You don’t even know me,” Blaine says under his breath, with an edge like a growl, the kind wild animals give when you stumble into their territory unaware. It sets the hairs on the back of Kurt’s neck on end, and he starts second-guessing this decision. 

Relax, Kurt. The man’s just beat down. Exhausted. You understand what that’s like.

Blaine sighs, sinking into the passenger seat and leaning his head against the window. "I'm sorry. I know you're trying to be nice. It's been a long day." 

“I understand. And I may not know you, but I know fathers," Kurt continues. "A father’s job is to be supportive of their children, no matter what they do in life. Succeed or fail, win or lose, they should always be in your corner. And if he’s not, screw him! Surround yourself with people who want to lift you up, not tear you down.”

Blaine winds his arms around his torso, hugging himself tight. “I---is that the way your father treats you?”

“Yup,” Kurt answers with a subconscious smile at the mention of his dad. “He supports me in everything, even the stuff he doesn’t entirely agree with. And when things don’t work out, he’s the first person there, helping me to my feet and encouraging me to try again.”

“Sounds like a great guy. You’re lucky.”

“He is," Kurt says proudly. "And I am.”

Blaine fixes his gaze to the road ahead as Kurt merges onto the highway. He chews the inside of his cheek, stares too hard at the rain-slick asphalt, not shifting focus. It's as if he can't bring himself to look at Kurt when he asks, “So, you think you’re a good judge of character?”

Kurt nods. “Yes, I do."

"How do you know?"

"Experience. I have a decent track record.”

"Surround yourself with a lot of questionable people, do you?"

"I guess you can say that," Kurt agrees with a laugh, thinking of the people who have come into his life that he has adopted as his own: Rachel, Dave, Santana, Puck, all of them rivals or bullies. Or both. But now, a cherished part of his found family.

People he hopes will miss him if SDPD finds him by the side of the road tomorrow with his throat cut.

Stop it, Kurt! Relax! You're in no danger! Everything is going to be fine!

Blaine shrugs, examining his wet hands as if he’s reading something etched on his skin. “Someday you’ll be wrong.”

“Probably." Kurt meets Blaine's eyes in the reflection of the windshield, flashes his confident smile again. "But I don’t think that day is today.”

[activechataclysme]

TITLE: two truths and a lie.

Fandom: Miraculous Ladybug Ship: The Love Square - SnekMouse Rating: T [ AO3 ]

Summary:

“For the, uh, game. You said two things,” he said, holding up two fingers. He wiggled one finger.  “That there was a, uh, boy you’ve been in love with for years,” then the other. “And that you want to get over him.”

“I get that,” he said quietly, tapping a rhythm against her shoulder with his fingers. “Do you, uh, do you see him everyday?”

“More than he knows, I think,” she said, her tone a little sly, as if she was sharing an inside joke with herself. “He sits right in front of me in class, actually.”

-o-

“I realised I’m in love with this girl recently, I’m scared to ask her out. She, um, sits in front of me, an-and…” he floundered before finally tacking on a lie. “She knows exactly how I feel.”

... Or in which warm feelings flare in chests, soft gazes are exchanged, blushes are blushed and confessions are made without even intending to.

One of their evening patrols ended with the two of them after patrol on a secluded rooftop, with beer in cheap plastic cups in each of their hands, and two half empty bottles of it between the two of them. They sat on the balustrade, feet swinging as they looked out at the city, chuckling as they played a game of Two Truths and a Lie.

Aspik found that beer, if had in, er, generous amounts , could in fact make one tipsy, as well as loose-lipped. He was sure Multimouse would’ve figured him out if she hadn’t been a little tipsy and out of it herself...

People love photographing me, I hate that they do ( She had looked at him somewhat sadly at that ) and I love shopping for my own clothes.  

My dad’s a dick, Ladybug is the uh worst and my bestfriend is a superhero. ( She had giggled uncontrollably. )

Modelling is my dream job, I enjoy piano and I love our patrols together. ( He suspected, in a very self-satisfied manner, that the flaming of her cheeks didn’t have much to do with the cold. )

…And well, If he didn’t already know Multimouse’s identity, after tonight he definitely would have....

My parents are bakers, I have a DJ friend and I’ve never dated a musician.  

I have a journalist friend, I want to be a… singer and all walls in my room are pink

Chat Noir’s hair is as soft as it looks but don’t tell him I said that ( If Multimouse wondered why Aspik was blushing, she didn’t voice that ) . I like wearing my hair in pigtails and I’m allergic to marigolds. (Hard, because Aspik couldn’t possibly say that he’d seen her eat marigolds; he never questioned it of course.)

“Your previous suit design was awful, I love rose macarons and Chat Noir’s puns are amazing,” she giggled.

Aspike let out an amused snort. “You love rose macarons. And you love Chat Noir’s puns. So the lie obviously, is about my suit. My suit was the best .”

Multinouse giggled harder, cheeks flushed pink under her mask. The beer must be really getting to her, he thoughts, watching as she took another sip. “ False ,” she declared. “Chat Noir’s puns are awful .”

Aspik huffed. “My suit was just fine , little mouse.”

“Sure, snake boy,” she snorted.

“I’ll have you know I’m an expert on fashion,” he sniffed.

“I’m sure you are, Mr. Celebrity,” she laughed.

Multimouse reached over to ruffle his hair, laughing harder at his petulant look as he attempted to flatten his hair. Just as he was attempting to straighten his bangs, he caught her soft blue gaze on him. She was smiling at him warmly, almost a wistful expression on her face.

“What is it?” he asked, tilting his head.

She shook her head, almost as if she was snapping herself out of something. The softness left her face and she gave him a weak smile. “Your turn,” she said, downing her cup.

He watched quietly for a few moments, as she hastily refilled her cup. He cleared his throat and looked away, training his eyes on the city lights.

“I’m thankful to have you in my life and that we’re friends, your suit is super cute, grey and pink? Very you . And uh…” he floundered, when he sensed her wide-eyed blue gaze. “I… Uh, hate passionfruit?”

He heard her let out laughter, and he couldn’t help but turn to look at her. “You don’t hate passion fruit,” she giggled.

He snorted. “Well, how would you know? Maybe your suit is not cute. Maybe you’re not my friend.”

“You’re so silly,” she laughed. “Don’t think I haven’t seen you scarf down the passion fruit macarons I bring occasionally…”

“Well, only a fool would dislike those,” he said petulantly. “I can tell they’re baked with love,” he added teasingly, wagging his eyebrows at her.

She blushed and looked away, nervously patting one of her space buns. “...Er, well, m-my suit is amazing . I only ever wear top notch fashion, th-thank you very much.”

He grinned. “I’m sure you do.”

“And I… We’re…” She seemed to inhale deeply, before her gaze flickered over to his, a little wistful. “Friends. I know we are. You make sure to let me know.” She laughed, though it sounded a little hollow to his ears. “Everyday.”

Her eyes widened a fraction and she chuckled nervously. “I mean, everytime we patrol.”

Aspik frowned at the distant look in her eyes and the nervous fidgeting of her hands. He scooted a little closer to her and hesitantly took her hand in his. She stiffened, but only for a moment before relaxing again with a gentle sigh. She leaned her head against his shoulder.

“I’m glad we’re friends,” she said softly, and added almost as if to herself. “I’m happy we’re at least that.”

“Me too,” he said, before adding gently. “Your turn.”

“What? Oh, um right,” she said, and he felt her fidget lightly before settling down.

“I’ve been crazy in love with a boy for years,” she started, and Adrien froze. How had he forgotten about that . “I need to get over him, because I know he doesn’t see me that way...”

“He’s an idiot,” huffed Aspik, illiciting a startled laugh out of her.

“He’s not,” she said. “He’s the smartest, sweetest and kindest person I’ve met. Second only to maybe Chat Noir.”

“So Chat Noir is first , huh?” preened Adrien.

“Don’t tell him I said that,” she laughed. “It won’t do his ego any good.”

“Pfft,” said Aspik dismissively. “He’s the humblest hero of them all.”

“Sure,” said Multimouse, rolling her eyes.

“But we digress,” said Aspike. “This debate is on hold until further notice.”

“Whatever you say, li’l snek.”

They were silent for a few minutes before Aspik finally cracked. “You only said two things.”

“What?” she asked, lifting her head off his shoulder to look at him.

“For the, uh, game. You said two things,” he said, holding up two fingers. He wiggled one finger.  “That there was a, uh, boy you’ve been in love with for years,” then the other. “And that you want to get over him.”

“Hm,” she hummed, looking away again before letting out a soft self-depriciating laugh. “It’s going to be so easy to?”

Aspik wrapped a hand around her shoulder to tuck her further into his side, because what an idiot of a guy.

“I get that,” he said quietly, tapping a rhythm against her shoulder with his fingers. “Do you, uh, do you see him everyday?”

“More than he knows, I think,” she said, her tone a little sly, as if she was sharing an inside joke with herself. “He sits right in front of me in class, actually.”

Adrien felt his breath rush out of his lungs, as the world shifted in his mind’s eye. Like a fast replay of everything with a new filter, and he felt his chest start to warm. He tightened his grip around her and pulled her tighter against him.

He cleared his throat. “Have you, um, tried asking him out?”

“Only a hundred times,” she laughed. “It’s always gone wrong. Maybe that was for the best anyway. He doesn’t… He doesn’t see me like that.”

“And how do you know that? If you haven’t asked him out?”

“He says that we’re “just friends” at least once a week.” Marinette snorted. “I am starting to think that’s his way of gently letting me down without really having to reject me. He values friendships too much for that, I think.”

“You should really not make presumptions,” he said nervously, heart racing.

“Pretty sure I know what I’m talking about, Aspik. I’m sure I know what I’m talking about.”

“Including his feelings?”

“Feelings he’s made pretty clear,” she said as she drew circles on the back of his hand.

Aspik sighed, feeling like he was on the precipice of losing something he hadn’t even known he had. He really, really did not want to let go.

“My turn,” he said quietly. “I… There’s this… girl.”

Multimouse seemed to deflate a little next to him, which he couldn’t help but find a little perplexing. But he trudged forth.

“I realised I’m in love with this girl recently, I’m scared to ask her out and…” he floundered before finally tacking on a lie. “She knows exactly how I feel.”

“Well, that’s kind of obvious, snake boy,” she sighed. “I don’t see what you have to be scared about…”

“She… I found out only today that she’s trying hard to move on from me.”

“That means she still does have feelings for you.” Her voice was smaller than he’d like, almost a breathy resignation to it. “You should ask her anyway. I can’t imagine anyone saying no to you.”

“Yeah?”

She lifted her head off his shoulder, her gaze warm, smile fond. “Yeah.”

Aspik hummed. “Even you?”

“Of course! I just told you I- Well, I- I mean, if-if it weren’t for that guy I told you about, then um, yes. Definitely. For sure. Yep.”

“You think so?”

“Yeah.”

“Maybe I’ll leave a note on her desk when school re-opens after Winter Break. With a bunch of flowers.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she’d like that,” sighed Multimouse.

“Actually, maybe not,” he amended thoughtfully. “She sits right behind me, so it’ll be hard for me to see her reaction. And she’s a little prone to easily freaking out,” he chuckled fondly. “Maybe I should enlist my bestfriend’s girlfriend for help. Those two are bestfriends, you know, and she’s a schemer, that one. What do you think I should-”

He stopped when he realised Multimouse’s head wasn’t against his shoulder anymore. He turned to see that she was staring at him with wide eyes, head tilted curiously

“Did you say that she sits behind you? Like right behind you?”

“Yeah.”

“Huh,” she muttered. “Y-You said that she has feelings for you. And that you found out she was trying to get over them.”

Adrien unfortunately had always been just a little slow on the uptake. So he chuckled a little. “Yeah, found out today, in fact.”

“ Today ?”

“Yep, today.”

“She told you herself, did she?”

He really should have noticed the careful neutrality in her tone.  

“Yes, actually,” he nodded vigorously. “But you seem to think there’s still hope, so I… Wait a second .”

He whirled on her, eyes narrowed, to find that she was studying him too.

“Do you…. Know ?” she asked first, eyebrows set in a wary pinch.

Aspik hesitated before leaning closer to her, almost nose to nose now bodies twisted to face each other. He turned completely to her in a moment, one leg folded, the other hanging off the ledge of the roof.

“Do… you know?”

“I asked first, mon é cailles .” The slight twitch of her eye gave away her faux serious facade though.

He smirked as he wrapped a hand under her knee to tug her closer, while her hands came up to hold his shoulders so she could stabilize herself. “Can’t argue with that logic ma petite souris ,” he chuckled, face towering over hers. “But I’m afraid I have the upper hand here.”

With that he kissed the corner of her lips ( Her. Lips. ), just as he decided to hell with it and tugged her onto his lap ( Oh, my god! ) fully.

“A-Aspik!” she squeaked as he looked up at her affectionately, before pressing a kiss to the other corner of her mouth.

“Multimouse,” he said, now his hands wrapped around her hips, zero room between them.

She was watching him with parted lips, face flaming, while her expression was of utter disbelief. Hesitantly, her hand went up to trace his mask, before it settled on cupping his cheek. Blushing, she looked at him with soft eyes before leaning slightly and kissing the apple of his cheek.

“How… How did you find out?” he asked quietly, as she started to draw back.

She looked panicked for a moment before relief seemed to wash over her.

“The game sort of gave you away,” she admitted, not meeting his eyes as one of her hands snaked ( snaked , heh) over his chest and over his shoulder so she could play with the hair at the nape of his neck. “Um, so what gave me away?” she asked shyly.

He froze for only a second before thanking the gods for having Marinette herself present the answer to him.

“The game,” he grinned.

She groaned before deflating in his arms ( In. His. Arms!!! ), forehead resting against his shoulder.

“I knew the beer was a terrible idea,” she whined. “It made us too loose-lipped!”

“Beg to differ,” said Aspik. “Best idea you’ve had, I think.”

Multimouse giggled. “Maybe.”

“Hey, Marinette?”

“Hm?”

“I do love you, you know. I meant that.”

She was quiet for some time before she finally drew away from him to look him in the face. She brushed his hair out of his eyes, dancing with a pure sort of happiness that made his heart burst with joy. She kissed his forehead, and then the tip of his nose, making his face heat up with anticipation.

As he watched, her eyes flickered to his lips, before she looked away nervously, biting her lower lip with worry. Adrien’s heart warmed - what, was this the hundredth time just that night? - and he brushed the tip of his nose against her chin.

“You know, you keep doing that and I might just kiss you,” he said teasingly.

He laughed softly as the tips of her ears turned red. “Well, you won’t hear me complain, mon écaille irisée ,” she muttered.

And well, so he kissed her. She seemed frozen in shock for a fleeting second before melting against him. Her hands locked around the nape of his neck as she pulled him closer, an almost mind-numbing tug at the base of his skull as she tilted his head back to get a better angle. He decided then and there that he wouldn't complain if they never stopped. He tried his best to cull the purr building in his throat because that would be dead giveaway, and wondered briefly if he'd develop snake-like tendencies as well if he wore the miraculous long enough. His teeth grazed her lower lip, where hers had been less than thirty seconds ago, and he bit it gently, greedily swallowing the moan she let out.

They finally parted for breath, and her buns sat skewed on the top of her head, messed up and unkempt, some strands straying loose and falling on her as she stared at him.

“You know, no one’s ever called me iridiscent before,” he said, eyes dancing with mirth as he swept back some of the loose hair off her face.

“Shut up, nicknames aren’t really my forte,” she pouted, leaning into give him another peck against his lips.

“No, I love it,” he assured her, making her look down at him again. “Will you promise to call me that forever?” he asked teasingly, an eyebrow quirked with mirth.

Everytime he thought she couldn’t turn any redder, she proved him wrong. And he loved her for it.

“You’re too much,” she complained. “You and Chat have been spending too much time together!

Adrien only laughed. “But you looooooove me.”

“Yeah I do.”

“I’m glad you didn’t get over me,” he said quietly.

Her smile faded and she looked at him fondly. “Thanks to you, you don’t make it easy, you know.”

“So I’ve heard,” he chuckled.