#for the details to be better seen ofc
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bunnyboy-juice · 1 month ago
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oughghgh
#post therapy tummy ow#today i surprised my therapist with a detail i didnt know i hadn't told her yet 🥴#and i said it so casually and i saw her eyebrows raise REALLY hard and thats when i realized and i was just like ok put a pin in it#i realized recently that like. these traumas i experienced jumble in my head so much bc they DO overlap#and its so fucked up realizing how many people have seen me in vulnerable states and gone “ah! i want in on that”#not as in “lemme help” tho but as in “lemme use you too”#like what the FUCKKKKKK#its not even specific to 2016 [where we're focusing on the chaos now] but even BEFORE THAT IM REALIZING#honestly if a chunk of u even knew a fraction of the trauma i experienced i think u would seriously not like me/find me as sexy as yall do#but anyway yea#my tummy hurts and i have to go to work /:#and all i want to do is keep vomiting about the traumas ive experienced bc i got really into some details there at the end /:#all ima say tho is: i deserve to have my life fully funded so i can have a fucking break bc what the actual Fuck#like yeah i couldve made some better decisions but the number of times i got hurt bc i trusted someone and told them things THEY ASKED TO#HEAR ABOUT/HOLD SPACE FOR and then they engaged in the same fucking behaviors or used that pain to then lie to me in ways that i would ofc#believe. . . . . .. . . . . . . disgusting its no wonder I dont feel safe fucking making friends anymore#like even thinking just about like the things i told certain ppl to the harm i experienced by them /:#and thinking of how all that ofc led to someone like my ex being able to take advantage of me#g-d i want to punch all these people
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girlivealwaysbean · 1 year ago
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bestie is coming home on 1st im having thoughts
#obviously i missed her and would love to see her but seeing her brings so many complicated feelings and i hate it#i realised somewhere in the middle of a metro surrounded by a crowd that my bestfriend loves her boyfriend more than she loves me#i saw them flirt and hug and ive known her since we were 11 okay i had never seen her be so happy and calm and peaceful and CONTENT#and it made me feel yuck disgusting gross that i could never give her anything like this in years of our friendship so ofc she loves him#more than me#i used to be annoyed at her telling me about him what he did down to evey detail but there's one i can remember really well#how she was upset with him and he got angry too very angry so she thought he was breaking up with her and she started sobbing so#uncontrollably on the phone itself because she couldn't lose him and so he at like 11 pm?? he left his pg and showed up at her house told#her to come down just to give her a hug and then they went to have ice cream to make her feel better#and i just.#obviously she loves him more ivy you don't even talk to her unless she talks to you you talk once in like 2 months#she has made me realise so many things about love 😭#i think i get it love means showing up being there when the person you love needs you no matter what#like i get it's not always possible real life problems but#like he did have real life problems going out so late getting an auto not even being sure if she would come down cause she has very strict#parents#he was willing to put in all that effort just cause she was sad and that's why she loves him more than me it makes sense#but this is why i feel so scared im not even 2% of the person he is i always feel she is going to realise im an asshole and leave me#but we talk so less it wouldn't even affect me realistically#but then i would have lost all my childhood friends everyone who knew me when i was happy better than present atleast#i would have lost all friends period since i don't have any irl friends 😭#this is why i feel conflicted 😭😭😭
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shidoukanae · 4 months ago
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Chapter 77 of the manhwa: says Helene is lonely just as the manhwa shows Helene saying to Fian “this is all my fault”. Also calls Helene out as being extremely similar to Lyla (something that has now been thrice reiterated by Paris, the garden guy/Hendel, and now Phillip) and this is in spite of the fact Helene and Lyla are definitely opposite of each other Literally the chapter before this (and after iirc): people who grew up close together have very similar “souls” and will be confused as being like each other by those around them. Case in point: Phillip and Fian who have been confused as each other by Daniel, Paris, and Fian’s own mother despite being very different people Me, putting the pieces together from the light novel: oh. Ohhhhhhhhh. Time to cry again oh nooooooo
Or: I’m once again astounded by the clever foreshadowing that The Mighty Extra’s manhwa partakes in and how it spoils things ahead of time if you connect the dots. Using Fian and Phillip’s changed relationship and “similar souls” thing to subtly hint at the truth of Lyla’s and Helene’s relationship is amazingly well done. It's something that goes over the head at first glance but if you notice the parallel and what it's implying...man I love TME <3 
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peterman-spideyparker · 7 months ago
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Stolen Glances (College!Matt Murdock x College!Fem!Reader)
Author’s Note: Hey everyone! I've been on a writing hiatus after feeling uninspired after a long while, and I think it's kind of helped reset my creative juices. I'm entering my busy season at work, so I don't know how much time I'll have for writing in the future, but I'm back to feeling more like myself. I figured one of the best ways to return to writing was with some College Matt! Enjoy! :)
Summary: Your best friend convinces you to go out with her to a bar to celebrate the start of spring break, and to your surprise, the night takes an unexpected turn for the better when your friend calls over two people she knows from her law classes—one of whom you just so happen to have a huge crush on.
Warnings: Flirting, swearing, reader nickname (not-name specific) drinking, kissing, getting caught in the rain, smut (oral-f!receiving, Matt's mouth being a menace, praise kink, Matt being a lil' tiny touch possessive, Matt lightly biting at Reader's shoulder, p in v protected sex, aftercare)
Other Characters: Foggy Nelson, OFCs
Word Count: 6,084
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“Stop staring,” Amy says as she sips her drink. 
“I’m not,” you murmur as you roll your beer bottle absentmindedly on the sticky bar counter of Josie’s. How Amy even got you out tonight is beyond you. You don’t go to bars. You’re not even a big fan of going out in general. But tonight, you caved, and followed her in the rain to a dive bar in Hell’s Kitchen for cheep beer, gossip, and people watching. And it’s people watching that lead your eyes to land on one of the prettiest men you’ve ever seen. Matt Murdock—enter frantically smitten swoon here. He’s a law student with a voice like honey, a smile that could light up a room, and the best ass in the entire world.
Of all the gin joints in all the towns in all the world, you had to stumble into the one that he was in.
“You are,” Amy counters. 
“Not.”
“Are.” 
“Fine,” you sigh. “Glancing. Let me have this.”
“He’s single, you know. Broke up with the girl he was dating all last year.”
“Which means he’s not looking for anyone.”
“Or he rebounds fast and wants to get under someone. Er, have someone get under him. Hell, I don’t know what he’s in to.”
“Ames.”
“What? I’m just speculating. Just like you are ogling him.”
“Again, not ogling. Glancing. Besides, he’s way out of my league. And you know what? This, right here, is a perfect situation for me—it’s a crowded bar, he’s blind, no one here knows me or cares about me and won’t think twice of me looking in that direction. This is the only time I can pine after someone and not get flustered and weird if he looks in my direction or watch Cindy from my Brontë’s class try to show off her cleavage to get his attention. And she totally would, event to the one guy that literally can’t see it. Which brings me back exactly to my point—he can’t see us here or the undoubtedly big heart shapes my eyes are in.”
“What if his friend does?”
“He has his back to us, he won’t—.”
“FOGGY!”
“You are a major asshole, you know that?” you hiss as you whip your head around to scowl at her.
“Well, now, you can glance up close, see the finer details. Maybe accidentally touch his big arms?” she says with an innocent smile and delightfully raised eyebrows. “Or something else big.”
“Be nice.”
“I’m always nice. Besides, they’re my friends. You survive Professor Murphy’s class together, you’re blood brothers for life—Hey, Fog! Murdock!”
“I didn’t know you guys came to Josie’s,” Foggy smiles as they get close enough to where the two of you sit. “If I had, I would’ve invited you to some of our post-test outings.”
“Well, Kitty here is a lightweight, so it’s not often I get to bring her to bars. I think I finally convinced her because it’s the Friday before spring break and she doesn’t have to do homework right this moment,” Amy hums. She so knows what she is doing, and you don’t know if you should kick her in the shins or be eternally grateful for how Matt turns his head to you next. 
“Kitty?” Matt smiles, and it makes your cheeks burn. He wets his lips lightly as he turns his body toward you, and you can’t help but duck your gaze and shrink in on yourself a bit. 
“An unfortunate nickname that has followed me since I was four and can’t seem to shake,” you explain. “Now that I’m not four, (Y/N) just fine.”
“It’s cute, though. Maybe you’ll tell me the story.”
Fuck, why’d he have to say it like that? You’d tell him absolutely anything he’d want if he spoke to you like that again.
“Maybe,” you breathe. “Maybe not.”
The smile he flashes you is soft, dreamy, and alluring. “Someday it is, then.”
“Why don’t you two take a seat with us?” Amy asks as she swallows the last of her drink. “Have a few rounds with us. I mean, you guys know me, but let’s include (Y/N) into the fold. Probably good that you two legal goobers befriend an English major. Help you guys avoid being duped in a contract or something because of semantics or syntax or something.”
“Offense,” Foggy scoffs.
“(Y/N)’s worst is still better than your best, and you know it.”
“Down, Ames,” you chuckle, putting a hand on her shoulder. “Remember what I said about being nice?”
“Amy? Nice?” Matt smirks. “I’m afraid we haven’t earned that privilege.”
“So, how long have you known Amy?” Foggy asks as he waves Josie over for another round. 
“Too long,” you chuckle, earning you a playful kick under the bar.
“Harsh,” Matt hums.
“For someone who’s basically my sister? Nah. We’ve been friends since we could toddle around,” Amy shrugs. “You two should understand that one—I mean, roommates for two years and essentially an identical course load? You’re as good as brothers.”
“Very true,” Foggy smiles as he opens his next beer. “I mean, sure, Matt got all the good looks, but I have the boyish wit and knack for sarcastic comments.”
“Seems like a pretty perfect pairing to me,” you add. 
Foggy claps Matt’s back with a big smile. “See that, pal? Even the people that just meet us can see we’re a perfect match! Murdock and Nelson, taking New York City law by storm! Rolling in the money, the biggest of the bigs wanting us on retainer!”
“A real life Harvey Spector and Mike Ross,” Amy says with a playful roll of her eyes.
“Take it from a blind man, Nelson and Murdock has a better ring to it,” Matt hums as he sips his beer. “And while money is nice, there’s still something really nice about saving the world.“
“Matty the Martyr,” he sighs. “You know, (Y/N), my parents wanted me to be a butcher.”
“Fog, please, not the butcher story!” Matt begs. 
“Yeah, please,” Amy seconds. “(Y/N) doesn’t need to hear it.”
“Ugh, tough crowd tonight,” he sighs. “You’ll hear about it, (Y/N) . . . someday.”
“Mildly ominous. Definitely non-threatening,” you grin before everyone starts to laugh. “So, what brings you guys out? Is this a post-test outing?”
“Nah, just a Friday night,” Matt smiles. 
“Well,” Amy says, holding up her new drink. “To just a Friday night.”
You all clink the necks of the bottles together before you drink, chatting briefly before Amy playfully insults Foggy’s pool playing skills. The two of them down their drinks before they make their way to the pool table to prove one another wrong.
“I don’t know how those two are friends, sometimes,” Matt chuckles. 
“Well, Amy has three brothers,” you hum. “She loves pushing people’s buttons like that.”
“And Foggy doesn’t back down from challenges like that. Although, I agree that Amy could wipe the floor with Fog at pool.”
You laugh, biting your lip from laughing too loud in the bar. “I won’t tell him you said that.”
“Eh,” he squeaks. “I think he knows where I stand on his pool skills. I mean, a blind guy can beat him.”
You feel your face grow hot with the attention he’s giving you, but it’s all very welcome as you both begin to chat about whatever comes to your minds. For how pretty he is and how flustered you get talking into to people you find attractive, conversation comes so easily with Matt. You feel like you could tell him anything. But that’s the dangerous thing—there’s no way this could work, as a friend or for whatever your brain could dream up. He’s too . . . magnetic. You’d misread something, and in the end, you’d be the one getting hurt. Besides, if you’ve learned anything from Amy, part of being an attorney is learning how to charm the pants off of whomever you’re talking to. And unfortunately for you, you’re just the girl at the bar he’s trying to schmooze only to never see again.
“(Y/N)?” he asks, trying to catch your attention.
“Hm?” you hum, snapping out of it. 
His face is soft, but definitely concerned. “Are you okay?”
“Y-Yeah,” you stutter. “I was just thinking of something.” 
He raises his eyebrows, silently asking if you want to talk about it, but a small pang in your chest makes you want to run away and hide in a corner. 
“I don’t think pool is supposed to take that long,” you say, changing the subject and craning your neck around the bar to try and spot your friends. “I have absolutely no idea where Amy went. It looks like Foggy’s gone, too.”
Matt lets out a small, breathy laugh with a knowing grin.
“Do you want to share the joke with the class?”
“Fog’s been on my case lately about meeting new people. I wouldn’t be surprised if he conspired with Amy.”
“You know, I’d say that’s impossible, but Amy is always trying to set me up and calling me Hermit Homebody.”
“Doesn’t quite roll off the tongue like 'Kitty'.”
“It’s more alliterative, though.”
“So,” he hums, turning his body toward yours. “What’s the story behind Kitty?”
“You’re gonna judge.”
He holds out his pinky to you. “No judgement. Promise.”
You lick your lips before you move your hand to lock your pinky with his. 
“I really loved Hello Kitty when I was little. I basically wanted to be Hello Kitty. Like, absolutely obsessed—alarm clock, bedsheets, plushies, the whole shebang. I even dressed like Hello Kitty. Yellow shirt, blue overalls or an overall dress, and a red bow in my hair, and I had Hello Kitty socks to wear with my sneakers or little Mary Jane’s. It made getting dressed easy, but it definitely annoyed my mom after a bit.”
“That’s really cute.”
“It’s really not,” you chuckle.
“It is, trust me. And, if it makes you feel any better, a lot of free public domain braille texts were legal documents; after the accident that blinded me, that’s all my dad could really get me between hospital bills, trauma therapy and recovery, and our regular bills. I read a lot of Frederick Douglas while he did boxing practice. Between reading those and my dad’s hope for me to get a good job and use my brain instead of my fists, that’s what drove me to be a lawyer. I’m not sure I would have applied to law school if not for that.”
“Wow. That’s . . . amazing. Honestly.”
His brows furrow slightly as he tilts his head down slightly. “I like to think that I’m making him proud. But I’m afraid that I’ll end up letting him down eventually. He . . . He gave me so much, he gave up so much. For me.”
You place your hand on his that’s resting atop of the bar, giving it a squeeze. “The fact that you know the extent of your dad’s sacrifices and you’re worried about letting him down means that you couldn’t possibly disappoint him.”
Matt nods and you see his Adam’s Apple bob as he swallows hard. You could swear that you see a tear roll down his cheek, but you’re distracted when he turns his hand over to hold onto yours better, lacing his fingers in yours. 
“Thank you,” he says quietly, taking a deep breath. “Hearing that . . . it means a lot.”
“It’s just the truth as I see it.”
“Do you want to get out of here?” Matt hums as he turns his head toward you. “We could grab a bite, just walk around.”
“No ulterior motives?”
“Not unless you want me to have ulterior motives.”
You look at him, your heart beating so loudly in your chest, you wouldn’t be surprised if he could hear it. “I’m not that kind of girl.”
“Okay,” he breathes. “Then no ulterior motives.”
“I’m not opposed to stopping at the soft pretzel cart that’s a few blocks over, though.”
He gives you a small smile.
“Something funny?”
“Beer and pretzels,” he hums. 
“Har har.”
“C’mon,” he says with a little jerk of his head. “Lead the way.”
Putting some money on the counter to cover your drinks, you slide off of the barstool, your hand still in Matt’s as he mimics your movement before unfurling his cane. You both walk in comfortable silence, recalling little anecdotes from your childhoods as you stroll along the route. 
“You’ve gotta be kidding me,” you laugh.
“I’m not,” he says with a big smile. “I got so much hell from the nuns for it. Father Lantom put on a little show and was a little mad about it, yeah, but the ‘talking to’ that he gave me was about the Yankees game. In fairness, I honestly did worse when I was younger—probably took years off of all of their lives. Probably still do, when they think too hard about it.”
“Gosh,” you say with another laugh. “You’re such a daredevil.”
“Hey, I’ve turned out just fine. For the most part.” 
“Yeah, you’ve got a point. You seem pretty alright.”
“Pretty alright?” he croons. “I’ll take it. Any pointers for how I can increase my ranking, though?”
“Well, if I told you, it’d be too easy,” you smirk as you approach your destination. “Heya, Boyd.”
“Kitty!” he beams. “Long time no see! You’re usual?”
“That’d be great. School’s been busy.”
“You know she’s in Columbia?” he starts to tell Matt. “Smartest girl I know.”
“She is amazing,” Matt says, and you feel your cheeks burn hot.
“Matt’s one of my classmates,” you explain. 
“Ah, so you’re a smart one, too. Kitty here is one of a kind—don’t do anything stupid to loose this one.”
“I’ll do my best not to,” he smiles.
“D’you want anything with yours?”
“Mustard, please.”
Boyd hands Matt his pretzel, but puts his hand up when you try to pay. 
“Not tonight, Kitty,” he says. “My treat.”
“Don’t be silly, Boyd,” you counter. “You know our rule, only on birthdays.”
“Yeah, but you included me on your date. I feel real special. All warm and fuzzy like.”
Your cheeks burn even hotter when he says “date”— you appreciate that Boyd thinks you’re in the same league. 
“Please?” you try.
“Alright. But you’re getting your change back. This one, she always tries to scurry away before I can give her her change back!”
“Don’t worry, I’ll make sure she doesn’t escape,” Matt chuckles, his hand resting on your waist, the gentle touch sending goosebumps up your spine.
“Atta boy. You know, I like this one. He ain’t that bad. Here, Kitty. Have a nice night, you two!”
“Night, Boyd!” you smile. 
“Nice to meet you,” Matt adds. Once you’re out of earshot, he asks, “How come he can call you Kitty?”
“Because Boyd has known me since I was six,” I chuckle before I take another bite of my pretzel. “You’ve gotta earn it.”
“Oh, so now you’ll let me earn the chance to call you Kitty?”
“If you play your cards right.”
“Sounds like a challenge.”
“You seem like the kind of guy that likes challenges.”
He grins and raises his eyebrows as if conceding to your point before taking a bite of is pretzel, licking up the mustard at the corner of his mouth. The absolutely obscene thoughts that cross your mind when he does that would even make a sinner in church blush—but also appreciate the sentiment. You finish your pretzels quickly, continue to walk aimlessly around and talk about whatever comes to your mind.
“Wow,” you hum as you look at a clock on the other side of the park we’re walking through.
“What?” he hums. 
“It’s almost three.”
“Seriously? No.” You feel Matt’s arms shift, and you watch his fingers slide over the face of his watch. “Shit. It’s almost three. I didn’t think we were talking for that long.”
“Me either. Not that I’m complaining about it.”
“Neither am I.”
“Maybe we’re just really slow walkers?”
Matt laughs. “It is a really nice night.”
There’s a comfortable silence before you speak next. “I don’t do this, normally. Go out—go out to a bar, no less—walk with guys aimlessly around the city.”
“Tell people the story of your nickname? Or bring them to meet your pretzel godfather?” he teases gently, and you chuckle softly and nod. 
“Definitely not either of those.” You take in a deep breath before you continue. “Something feels different tonight, though, and I like it. And I only started liking it when you and Foggy joined us at our table.”
“Yeah?” he says so softly you almost don’t hear it.
“Yeah,” you confirm. 
“If it makes you feel any better, I like it, too.”
Your gaits slow before Matt turns into you, a relaxed, dreamy look on his face. It’s not a face you’ve seen him flash the girls on campus—the cocky, over-confident swagger that’s usually there replaced with something almost dreamy and entirely genuine. Your heart starts to race as he leans in, but you both freeze in place when the sky opens up and you get caught in a sudden downpour. You squeak and he lets out a soft grunt before Matt hand grabs yours, and you rush toward the sidewalk. You raise your hand to wave down an oncoming taxi, and as you both slide in, Matt gives his address to the cabbie. 
The ride is short, but it’s definitely better than making the trip in the pouring rain. When the cabbie pulls to the curb, Matt hands him the fare and the tip, opening the door and sliding out first, waiting for you to follow. He uses his large frame to try and shield you from the rain as you run into the lobby of his dorm, tracking in puddles into the elevator. 
“Would Foggy mind if I crash here for the night? I mean, what’s left of it,” you ask, your arms hugging yourself as you shiver in front of his door. 
“You don’t need to worry about him. He’s staying with his family for the first half of break,” Matt says as he slides the key into the lock, leading you into the very nice dorm apartment. “It’s just us here.”
“Ah,” you hum softly, looking around the space. “I wish my dorm looked like this. I think I chose the wrong major.”
Matt chuckles softly as he moves about the space. “Well, each year we get better housing choices, and the ADA complaint dorms were updated a few years ago. Foggy just reaps the rewards of being my friend.”
“Well, it is very nice. Definitely decorated by boys, though.”
Matt chuckles softly, walking into what you assume is his room before coming back out in pajamas, a folded set of clothes in his extended hand. 
“Thanks,” you smile as you take the sweatshirt and sweatpants out of his hands.
“Can’t have you be chilly,” he hums. “Let’s face it—Amy would kill me if I let you catch a cold.”
“You, Foggy, and then me. In that order,” you laugh. “You know, I honestly thought it was done raining for the night.”
“I’m just glad we caught a cab. And that you let me pay.”
“Well, you gave them the address to your dorm. Seemed right that you foot the bill.”
Matt chuckles as you turn to side off your wet clothes and put on his fluffy sweater and sweats. Yes, it feels a little odd to change in front of him, but it’s not like he can see you in your underwear, and you need to get these wet clothes off. And if tonight has taught you anything, Matt is someone you feel comfortable and safe around.
“Let’s hope these dry by the morning,” you say, folding your soaked clothes and putting them over the stool in the kitchen area. 
“You can keep them as long as you need. Something tells me I’ll get them back eventually.”
You blush deeply. “In a timely manner. Promise.”
“I’m not gonna force you out when the sun comes up, you know,” Matt continues. “We can go down and throw your clothes into the dryer in the morning. Maybe go grab breakfast after they’re out.”
“That sounds nice.”
“Want to go to the living room?”
“No ulterior motives?” you smirk. 
He laughs, and you swear you just made him to blush. “No. Not unless you want there to be,” he responds. 
“I don’t think I’d be opposed to some.”
Matt slides off his glasses, placing them on the kitchen table. His eyes sparkle in the moonlight coming through the window, taking a half step forward and placing his hands on your waist. You lean in to help close the space between your bodies, and when his lips finally meet yours, you feel your heart skip a beat as electricity shoots through your veins. You slide your hands up his body to cradle is face as he pulls you in even closer. The kiss is passionate, tender, and everything that a kiss should be. When he pulls back, you’re breathless and dizzy in all the best ways. His forehead rests on yours, and you desperately wish he’d lean in for another kiss. 
“Are those acceptable motives?” he whispers, nudging his nose against yours.
“Mm,” you hum. “Very.”
He smiles, leaning in for another kiss, the force of the embrace knocking the back of your legs against the sofa. You pull him into you, knocking the pair of you down on the couch, his body crushing yours in the most glorious of ways for a moment until he can position himself better on the furniture. His hands have a firm grip on your body, sending wave after wave of chills up your spine as you chase his lips for more kisses. One of his large hands cradles the back of your head, holding you closer so he can gain better access to the kiss, and you realize his glasses aren’t perched on his face anymore. You don’t even know when he would’ve have a chance to take them off. But do you really care? 
No. No you don’t.
As you make out, Matt slides you onto his lap, giving you a bit more leverage as you embrace. You lips mirror one another’s, curving up into smiles. You take in a sharp breath as you feel his hands slide under the sweater and up your back, the simple action sending goosebumps up your spine. You moan into the embrace and lean forward to deepen it, accidentally nipping his lower lip between yours. It elicits a strong response from Matt, his fingers digging into your skin, sure to leave little bruises as souvenirs before moving up to tug at the hair at the nape of your neck. His fingers should have their own insurance policy, because wherever they trace on your body feels like a million dollars—the warmth, the strength, the grip—goes straight to the apex of your thighs. Firm, relaxing, and downright sinful.
You pull back from the kiss, Matt’s swollen lips chasing yours as you lean away, turning your head to yawn. 
“Am I putting you to sleep, sweetheart?” he smirks, softly kissing your neck before moving so his face points toward yours. 
“You’re definitely relaxing me, that’s for sure,” you tell him as you look back at his face. “It’s just been a really long week.”
“We can stop if you want.”
“You stop, and I’m telling Amy and Foggy.”
“Oh, well, we can’t have that.”
“No, we can’t.”
With more smiles, you lean back into the kiss. Matt’s grip is firm on your waist before sliding his hands down and over the globes of your ass, moving to your upper thighs before lifting you up. You’re too focused on his lips to try and watch where he’s taking you, even though you have a good idea. You moan into his mouth as you feel Matt lay you down on his mattress.
“At least if you get a little too tired to keep going, you can fall asleep in a bed,” he whispers before he starts to kiss your neck.
“So kind of you.”
“I try.” He presses a soft kiss to your lips. “Can I keep going?”
“Yes. Definitely.”
Matt flashes you a devilish grin before leaning back in, his hands sliding up under the borrowed sweatshirt tracing the curves of your body.
“You can take it off, you know,” you murmur against his lips. “It’s your shirt, after all.”
He hums in delight, doing as you ask and ridding the fabric from your body and pushing it to the side. “You’re chilly now,” he hums kissing all over the exposed skin, pulling soft moans from your throat. 
It’s your turn to slither your hands up against his rock-hard body under his clothes, lightly raking your fingernails along his skin. “What’re you gonna do about it?”
“I have a few ideas.”
“Then show me.”
Matt’s lips slot back over yours, tasting every ounce of your mouth that he can. He pulls back, whipping his shirt off. You’re unable to prevent your jaw from dropping when you see his exposed chest, a little wooden cross hanging from a cord around his neck a strong contrast from his fair skin and rippling muscles. It doesn’t hang too long, the space between the two of you closed just as swiftly as it was created before his hands deftly undoes your bra. Matt’s hands slide the straps down your arms, tossing it to the side before his large hands palm at the fleshy mounds, his hips inadvertently beginning to roll against your legs. 
“Mm,” you hum as you start to mark his neck. “I’d say we’re moving fast, but, I like where we’re moving. Seems like you do, too.”
“Fuck,” he hisses. “Let me lay you down and make you feel good, angel.”
“Mm, ‘angel’,” you smirk as you pull him on top of you. “Sounds better than ‘Kitty’. Better not be calling any other girls that.”
“It’ll be just for you. Swear.”
“Good.”
“Doesn’t mean I’m gonna try and stop earning the right to call you Kitty, though.”
“Consider it earned. Can even call me Kitten. Now, please tell me you have some condoms here.”
“Mm, I do. But, the thing is, that pretzel left me hungry, angel. I need to eat a little more.”
Your brows furrow before Matt holds your face in his hands, kissing you deeply. He trails his kisses down the column of your neck, moving lower with each embrace, down your chest and torso until his lips reach where your skin and his sweatpants meet. 
“Is it okay if I pull these down, sweetheart?” he asks, pressing feather-soft kisses on your stomach. “Can I kiss you there? Can I taste you, sweetheart?”
“Yes,” you breathe a little too quickly, moving your fingers into his soft hair. “Please.”
He smiles, kissing your belly button before curling his fingers round the waistband of the sweats and underwear and sliding them down your legs. His strong hands gently part your legs, exposing yourself to him, his soft, pouty lips kissing back and forth along your inner thighs until his nose brushes the slick folds. A soft moan escapes your throat, so quiet that you almost don’t hear it. As soon as it leaves your lips, you swear you hear Matt growl a little before diving in between your legs. This time, you moan louder, your back arching off of the bed and your fingers clutching the sheets. 
“Matt!” you squeak. His hands are firm on your hips, keeping his face buried in your core, tasting and savoring you like you’re the sweetest of desserts. Your chest heaves as you squirm against him, but each movement of your body only spurs him on to hold you tighter. He hums into your pussy, the vibrations working all the way up your body. 
“M-Matt,” you stutter, feeling yourself get wound tightly as he works diligently between your legs. “Matt, I—oh, fuck!”
Matt just hums, keeping pace and enjoying the taste of you on his tongue. You continue to whimper, whine, and squirm, biting your lip harder as you get closer to your release. You suck in a sharp breath when you feel Matt pull away from you, his face in your direction, his mouth and chin shiny with your slick.
“Don’t hold back, angel. I’ve got you,” he pants. “Make those pretty noises for me. It’s just you and me, okay? Don’t worry about if anyone else can hear. It’s just you and me.”
“Okay,” you say breathily with a frantic nod. “Okay.”
“Good girl.”
You could cum with those two words, and the quick twitch at the corner of his mouth tells me that he knows it, too. With a lick of his lips, he dives back down without missing a beat, sliding two thick fingers into you, gently pumping them and curling his fingers to squish against the perfect spot that makes your vision go spotty. You let out your loudest cry of the night, the sheer volume hurting your throat a little. It elicits a deep growl from Matt, and with one more lick, you’re quaking and unraveling on his face. Little tremors continue to jolt through your body as Matt works to lick up every last drop of you before pressing a soft kiss on your swollen nub and kissing his way back up your body. 
You lean up and crash your lips into his, desperate for him. Matt eagerly kisses you back, letting you taste yourself, exploring how you mix with him. 
“Are you up for more?” he pants as he pulls back, trying to smooth down your tousled hair. 
“Please,” you say, the faintest hint of a whine in your voice. “I’m ready.”
Matt smiles, pecking your lips quickly before leaning back and taking his sweats off. Your eyes involuntarily widen when you see just how big he is. If tonight with Matt hasn’t ruined other men for you yet, the feeling of him inside you and how it will undoubtedly linger for days will.
“You okay?” he pants as he works to slide on the condom.
“I’m doing great,” you swallow, trying to remain coherent through the bliss. 
His laugh is like warm tea with honey.
“I’m glad to hear that.”
With the condom firmly on, he leans forward to kiss you slowly. “Ready?”
“Ready.”
Matt kisses you again, adjusting the pillows behind you as he lines himself up with your entrance. He places his hands on you gently, forehead resting on yours, before carefully starting to slide in. You bite your lip as your eyes flutter shut, your head suddenly becoming too heavy as you let it roll to the side and rest against his neck. 
“Matt,” you breathe.
“Prefect,” he pants as he slowly pushes forward. “Perfect.”
“M-Matt,” you whimper as you stretch around him. “Big.”
“Do you need me to stop?” he whispers. “Does it hurt?”
“N-No. ’s great. So great.”
“Say the word if you need me to stop, okay? If it’s too much?”
“Okay.”
Your faces turn toward one another, and for the briefest of moments, Matt’s eyes lock onto yours. You feel your heart skip a beat and jump up right into your throat. This is ridiculous—tonight is the first time you’ve actually met him rather than stare at him and wish from a distance, and it’s like your entire universe is on its head. Matt tenderly leans forward, his lips on yours, fueled with a softer passion than what has dictated your embraces for the night. The roll of his hips is slow, and you feel everything ten times over. You hold onto Matt as if your life depends on it, and you let him work as he marks up your neck and shoulder with little bites. 
“Don’t stop,” you plea. “Don’t stop. Matt, please don’t stop!”
Your pleas and whimpers spur Matt to pick up his pace. As he does so, his own soft moans grow louder in your ear, and it drives you wild. The springs of the mattress move from a quiet creak to an all consuming squeak, perfectly punctuated by the headboard hitting the wall.
“Matt!” you cry out, pulling probably harder than you should at his hair. 
“Such a good pussy,” he grunts. “All for me. You’re so good for me, angel. Feel so perfect.”
“Please!”
“Hm?”
“Fuck, Matt! You’re—oooohhhh!”
“Perfect f’me, angel. Such a good girl. My good girl.”
The sound of your slapping skin adds to the erotic symphony in the room, sweat quickly lining your bodies. You whimper as you nuzzle into him, muttering incoherent sentences as his pelvis rubs against your sensitive core, building you up to knock you over with intense pleasure. Your fingernails dig into his shoulders and pull a deep growl from the back of his throat. He nips at the sensitive skin behind your ear before slotting his lips over yours.
“Matt,” you whimper, really drawing out the vowel in his name. “Matt, ‘m gonna cum.”
“Let it out,” he encourages. “Cum for me. Let me feel that pussy squeeze my cock, sweetheart. Let me make you feel good. Let me hear you, angel.”
Matt kisses the sweet spot on your neck and pulls a needy whine from you. A stuttered whine pulls from your lips as your eyes pinch shut and you claw your fingers into Matt’s back. You cry out at the top of your lungs as a second wave of pleasure washes over you. With Matt in you, dragging against every right spot, it feels so much better than with his mouth. He sinks his teeth into your shoulder, and you cry out in pleasure even louder. The pace of Matt’s hips move even faster, albeit at a more unsteady rhythm with an increased sense of urgency as he tries to soothe the sting of his teeth. His moans turn into grunts, a delight to your ears. 
“Harder,” you beg. “Harder, Matt.”
You feel Matt nod his head against yours, doing as you ask, his lips brushing faint kisses against your cheek. You cry out once more, Matt’s hips pulling one more orgasm from you as he hits his high, spilling into his condom with punctuated thrusts.
Your breathing is heavy as your bodies still, sweat clinging to your skin and soaking the sheets. You chuckle softly as Matt places gentle kisses along your neck, his nose tickling you just so before pulling himself off of you and sliding out. He does it slowly, and you moan softly from the sensitivity and the loss of him. He ties off the condom, shuffling out of bed to throw it away. Matt briefly rounds the corner, coming back with a towel in hand. Without a single word, he carefully spreads your legs, gently cleaning the mess between your thighs. His lips softly kiss your knees and thighs has he works, and you can’t help but smile. He tosses the cloth to the side, it landing perfectly on the edge of his hamper. Matt slides back into bed, wrapping his arms around you and letting you adjust in his hold, kissing your forehead.
“What?” he whispers so softly you want to melt.
“You have freckles,” you whisper back just as quietly as you look up at him. “They’re a little hard to see, but they’re there.”
“Yeah?” he says with a tender smile.
“Mm.” Carefully, you move your fingers against the skin on his cheek, tracing over the faint constellation on his fair skin. 
“What?” he whispers again with a little smirk. 
“How do you know I’m thinking?”
“Call it a hunch.”
You smile softly. “It’s just . . . I wasn’t planning on coming out tonight. I don’t go out. I don’t go to bars. I don’t do this. Any of this.”
“I think you mentioned that earlier,” he hums with a cheeky smile. God, his voice is like a warm blanket that you just want to snuggle up in. 
“It just felt right, with you. I’m really glad I came out tonight.”
“Can I let you in on a secret?” You give him a hum in response. He pulls you closer and presses a long, slow kiss to your lips. “I’m really, really glad you came out, too.”
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Matt Murdock Taglist: @two-unbeatable-beaters @loves0phelia
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cherie-doll · 5 months ago
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𓆩♡𓆪 Headcanon: Them As Parents #2
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𐙚 Ghost, Soap, Gaz, Alejandro, Phillip Graves, Keegan, König, Horangi, Nikto
𐙚ྀ ͜ ͡ ︶ Added Nikto this time + his is a little longer bc I didn’t add him the first time
Ghost
Lost the kids at ikea once
The way he was so unbothered too
He’s so nonchalant about it because he’s confident that the children know better and are capable of taking care of themselves
If anything he’s a little anxious about your reaction if you found out
So when an employee notices Simon frequently turning his head, eyes roaming around they approach him
When Simon told the employee he had lost two little kids the employee was more concerned than him
Soap
When you leave the kids home alone with their father it’s almost worse than if they had been left alone
He is NOT a trusted adult
If you don’t leave a large enough pot of food for them Soap will order whatever the kids want to eat
Unfortunately for you, his sons inherited his big appetite
You come back home, groceries in hand gawking at the boxes of takeout set all over the table
“Johnny, I said I wouldn’t be long at the store…”
“Sorry, got a bit hungry” he responds while stuffing his face
Gaz
When going to the store he likes getting matching outfits for his girls
He’ll overload the cart with an assortment of cute bows and hairclips, pretty dresses, and adorable little shoes
When going out, he carries a backpack for each kid packed with a sweater in case it’s cold, comfy shoes incase they lose one, and snacks for when they’re hungry or fussy
He gets so excited when he’s there to witness his baby’s first everything, records it on a calendar and you best believe he’ll never forget those small milestones
Alejandro
When he’s cooking meat on the grill outside he raises his head to watch the kids play in the yard
His love language is calling them over to give them a piece of roast meat to taste
When the kids were old enough to drive he first taught them with a riding lawnmower because he didn’t trust them with his truck
He likes to be mean to his kids (in a loving way ofc) and play pranks on them
Phillip Graves
He can be stern at times but most of the time he’ll spoil his kids rotten
Especially his daughter
When she asked for a pony he almost decided to move to a house with 3 acres for a couple of horses
You reasoned with him and instead settled to take your daughter to weekly horseback riding lessons
Keegan
One of his favorite things to do is figuring out what features of yours and his he can find in his kids
“She’s got your smile” “He has your wit” “Your sass is apparent even in our children”
I bet he’s the type of carry his toddlers like a bag
He pays great attention to detail so he’ll immediately notice if something or someone upset his children
König
After he overcame his insecurity he was head over heels for the baby
Will constantly watch over your shoulder, taking in every detail of how you care for the children so he can do it too
Not wanting to spend a moment apart from you or your children
If he’s running errands he’ll take the kids with him
When his daughter was a few months old he used to bring her with him into the hardware store and proudly show her off
It would make his day when someone would tell him how adorable she was and how alike they look
Horangi
Imagine him with twins ૮꒰/ฅ//ฅ//꒱ა
He’s almost always carrying them
You argue with him over this because it’s made your toddlers used to being held all the time
He’d be a great girl dad, wouldn’t resist buying cute toys and kid makeup sets and letting them paint his nails and apply lipstick on him
Would walk around in princess high heels and bows whilst keeping a poker face
Nikto
He wants to be seen like a pillar, someone his kids can rely on and never fear for their safety
Though concealed, under the strong surface his heart pulsates and beats the moment he’s handed the squirming bundle at the hospital
A mix of emotions swirls underneath his facade, the small face he’s staring at is his flesh and blood and he can hardly believe it
Strives to create a secure ambience at home for his little ones to grow up in
He wishes he could shield them from all harm
On mornings when he’s supposed to rest, the kids will sneak into your bedroom and crawl into bed between you
He groans, feigning annoyance, but scoops them in his strong arms chuckling as they squeal and giggle
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luci4theminorannoyance · 6 months ago
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I saw one singular post from you about platonic 141 and immediately followed. You do not understand how much comfort you have bestowed on me. So I'm here to make a request 🤑🤑🤑🔥🔥🔥🔥‼️‼️‼️‼️ What do you think about maybe a younger reader and they wear a mask so no one can see how young they are for security reasons. But on one mission there mask got ripped and the whole team saw they're face. Ever since that mission the team has somewhat soft on the reader. Like in sparring or smth they be a little careful or like whenever reader is off duty, they need to follow reader's every move. NEED TO. Yup that's all, I love yapping as you can see and if your not comfortable with this request pls ignore it. Byee and take care of yourself<33333🥰🥰🥰
a/n: sure! I ❤️ when people yap to me dw, I made it a bit vague so people reading can decide if reader is a minor or just a very young adult, and fully platonic ofc
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Ghost:
-on the mission where your mask got torn, he was doing sniper work, he had only seen your face briefly through his scope, but he could pick up how young you looked even from that little detail
-nothing much that was noticeable to the blind eye changed about his treatment in particular, but he slipped you one of his spare masks and when you made little mistakes on your reports and training, he let it slide quite a bit more then usual
price:
-being the fatherly man he was, as soon as he noticed how young you were, he absolutely doted on you. Always made up excuses on why he was giving you extra portions of food or newer gear or whatever he wanted to give you, but everyone knew why in the end
-wanted to keep you safe deep down, but didn’t ever bring it up. Didn’t want you to know he saw, but wanted to know he was there for you.
Gaz:
-certainly was less caring then the others, but just more caring when it came to you, more so then he was for everyone which was saying something. Hid it better then price though
-did some more data hunting through your files and made sure everything was in order for you to not be in trouble if you were caught, with the help of laswell of course. You were his teammate in the end, and he didn’t want you to get into trouble over something as simple as age even though you we’re definitely young to be in the taskforce
soap:
-became a lot more brotherly around you, more teasing and headlocks in the softest most friendly way. It’s just how he always has been, but to the max
-had played a little less jokes on you, and more with you helping him instead since it felt more fair and less like targeting, since he knew it was no longer a perfectly even game of teasing
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cameronluvr · 6 months ago
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GUESS WHO — rafe cameron x fem!reader x barry x fem!reader | PART 2
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summary: after fooling around with both rafe and barry at separate times, you fall pregnant and have to figure out which of them is the father. you gain the courage to tell both of them with sarah’s help.
warnings: mentions of pregnancy, slut shaming (by rafe), kinda toxic!rafe, reader is 18 + rafe is 20 + barry is 22, crying, arguing, mentions of weed, cussing, name calling (whore, bitch, slut, all by rafe ofc), — lmk if i missed any! ≽ܫ≼ ⭒
: ̗̀➛ 𝓶𝔂 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽 ⋆.ೃ࿔*:・
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you’d been on and off sleeping with both rafe and barry behind each others backs for weeks now. you don’t want rafe to know about barry, and vice versa, as you were afraid of them both killing each other.
sure, there was a chance they could’ve told each other, but they weren’t that close to exchange details about their sex life. they hung out a lot, but they weren’t exactly friends.
you couldn’t pin who was better, though, they’re equally as good as each other. rafe had a slightly longer dick, but barry had thicker girth. you were literally so cock drunk that you couldn’t give up one for the other. you needed both…
… until you’re sat on the bathroom floor three weeks later, crying while clutching onto a positive pregnancy test.
“fuck, fuck, fuck,” you place your hands on your head after tossing the test across the room, gliding your fingers through your hair to calm yourself down. you stand up now, breathing loudly, quickly and heavily as you can’t help but panic.
you’re pregnant at 18 with two possible baby daddies. how are you possibly supposed to keep calm?
you have zero idea of what to do. you can’t tell barry because it might not be his, for the same reason you cannot tell rafe. fuck. what have you gotten yourself into?
after some more minutes go by of you panting, crying and overthinking, you finally manage to reduce your tears and calm yourself down enough to call sarah, one of your best friends.
“y/n! hey girl” she answered almost immediately, sounding happy to hear from you. she hadn’t seen you in about three days because you were sick, and now you know why.
“hey sar, i uh��� can i see you? i kinda need someone right now…” you ask, sniffling and rubbing your tears away. “are you okay? what happened?” she asks in a concerned tone. “uh, i’ll tell you in person… it’s easier.” you gulp, feeling anxious as hell. rafe’s her brother, and you don’t exactly want to tell her you’ve been seeing her brother, as well as barry.
“yeah, that’s okay, you wanna come over?” sarah asks kindly, making you think for a second. what if rafe’s home? you sure as hell don’t want to talk to him about this, not yet anyway… you can just avoid him if he is home, you guess.
“okay, yeah, thanks… i’ll be there soon” you smile, wiping the rest of your tears away as you hang up the phone. you’re glad to have a friend like sarah, she’s always there for you no matter what… you leave your house and begin making your way to tannyhill, arriving around 15 minutes later.
you walk up to the house and knock on the front door, hearing fast footsteps banging down the stairs from inside. sarah opens the door, smiling at you before pulling you into a hug. neither of you let go of the hug, and stood there for a good minute before pulling away. “come upstairs, come on” she holds your hand, walking to the stairs with you.
you both walk upstairs and into sarah’s bedroom, where she closes the door for some privacy. “sit down” she tells you, walking over to her bed and both sitting down next to each other. “what’s going on?” she asks, sitting close to you and brushing your hair out of your face with her fingers before resting her hand on your shoulder, rubbing it to comfort you.
“uh… fuck, it’s quite a lot.” you sniffle, looking down to anxiously fiddle with your hands. “it’s okay, you can tell me anything” she reassures you, seeing you nod. “well, uh… i don’t even know how to say this, but… fuck. i’m pregnant.” you blurt out, seeing her entire face drop. “y—what?!” she widens her eyes, her hand on your shoulder now feeling like a frozen grip.
“…yeah” you nod, gaining the courage to look her in the eyes, which only made you tear up again for some reason. “oh my god— what! with who?!” she asks with utter shock and confusion, and slight excitement.
“uh,” you hesitate. “that’s kinda the thing…” your eyes wander away from hers, wanting to avoid answering but you know you have to say now. “it’s not like, jj, is it?” she asks, snickering to make a joke out of the situation, which seemed to make you laugh.
“no, no, it’s way worse” you reply with a laugh, making her truly wonder who. “pope?” she asks, seeing you shake your head. “… rafe.” you say, too afraid to admit the other possible father right now.
her face dropped more than it did last time. the room falls silent for a second as she takes a while to gather her words. “r—rafe?!” she asks, less excited and more afraid now. “yes, but—” you try to say, but she cuts you off.
“you’ve been sleeping with rafe?! my brother? why?” she asks, feeling sorry for you for even going close to him, given how crazy and mean he is. “i don’t know—”
“but, why rafe? he’s a fucking psycho. he’s my brother, i know him more than anyone. you do not want to have a baby with him y/n—” she tries to advise you, but you haven’t told her the rest yet.
“sar.” you cut her off, “what?”
“it might not be rafe’s, is what i’m trying to say…” you tell her, seeing all sorts of different emotions portrayed on her face. “what the hell do you mean by that?!” she asks, raising her voice but not loud enough for any of her relatives to hear. “i’ve been seeing rafe, yeah, but i’ve been seeing someone else too, but i don’t know who’s worse” you tell her.
“who can possibly be worse than rafe?” sarah asks, not thinking for a second that there’s anyone out there as demented as her brother. “uh, barry… that drug dealer g—”
“barry?!?! y/n!” sarah stands up from her bed now in pure disbelief. “i know, sar,” you sigh, feeling stupid for being with either of them. “so you’re telling me you’re pregnant and you don’t know who the dad is, and it could be rafe or barry?” she asks, repeating the story to you to make sure she got it straight. you nod, seeing her pace around her room in shock.
“y/n!!! you know for a second i thought jj would’ve been a shock, but those two?!” sarah says, thinking about how close you and jj were at one stage. the only reason you never dated him before was because of the whole ‘no pogue on pogue macking’ rule.
“sar, trust me, i know it looks fucking bad, but i do not know what to do…” you tell her. she sighs, trying to come up with a way to help you. “well, first off, do you want to keep it or no?” she asks, sitting back down next to you on the bed.
“… no, fuck, i don’t know. i don’t want either of their babies, but i don’t know if i can have an abortion… what will my parents think?” you overthink, terrifying yourself even more. “fuck what they think. what do you want?” she asks. you hadn’t thought about it too much before, you didn’t know if you wanted kids or not, you weren’t expecting it so soon…
“i don’t know what i want…” you say, your eyes filling up with tears once again. “do you know how far along you are?” she asks, trying to get as much information as possible to help you. “no…” you shake your head, wiping the tears falling from your eyes.
“don’t cry, come here” she comforts you, pulling you into a tight hug and stroking your hair. you can’t help but cry as you nuzzle your face into her shoulder, trying hard to not break down. “i’m here for you, okay?” she says, feeling you nod against her. “we can book a doctors appointment together, yeah? i’ll help you with whatever you need” she reassures, being the best friend.
“thank you…” you sniffle, lifting your head up to wipe your eyes. all of a sudden, the bedroom door opens, making you both dart your eyes towards it. “what’re you doin’ here?” rafe asks, peeking his head into the room. “get out, rafe” sarah strictly tells him, making him frown. “why you cryin’?” he looks at you, ignoring his little sister.
“rafe, leave her alone!” sarah raises her voice now, picking up a pillow and throwing it at him. “chill out, dude, she’s my friend too” rafe argues back with his sister as he fully enters the room. “i don’t care, get out of my room” sarah is adamant on getting him out, standing up from the bed to try to force him out.
“what’s wrong with you?” rafe asks, pushing her away as she tries to push him out of the open door. “no, what’s wrong with you!” sarah argues, the two of them bickering back and forth until you were fed up. “stop it, guys” you stand up from the bed, attempting to separate them from each other.
they stopped once you told them to stop, which made sarah give her brother a weird look. he’s never listened to anyone that fast before, he really is into you. “rafe, just come in” you say, needing to tell him sooner or later. you pull him by his arm away from the door so you could shut it fully, now standing face to face with him. “what’s wrong?” he asks, seeing how upset you are.
“it’s a long story rafe…” you sigh, not knowing how he’ll react to the baby news, but certainly knowing how how he will to barry. “i’m all ears.” he tells you. “why are you acting like that?” sarah frowns at her brother, wondering why he’s being so soft. “shut up, let her talk” rafe shushes his sister without looking at her, his eyes are on you. sarah had seriously never seen him like this before.
“rafe… i’m pregnant.” you sigh, not wanting to explain all over again knowing he’ll have a completely different reaction to sarah. his eyebrows raise, and mouth drops. “really?” he asks, not seeming entirely happy. obviously he’s going to automatically assume it’s his, considering how many times you’ve fucked over the past month.
“yeah, but…” you say, hesitating again. “but what?” he asks, his tone more serious now. “uh…” you literally don’t know what to say. sarah sees you struggling, and sighs. “it might not be yours, rafe” sarah says, telling him so you don’t have to. the room falls silent for a second as you both watch his face completely change to angry.
“what?” he frowns his brows with squinted eyes, looking at you as if you were crazy. “…you’re not my boyfriend, rafe. i do, y’know, see other people” you tell him, seeing him shake his head. “i don’t care, what the fuck? i’ been fuckin’ you, for you to fuck other guys?” his voice raises now. “rafe—” sarah tries to say, but he cuts her off with a ‘shh’.
“it’s not ‘other guys’, it’s one other guy. besides, i’m not your girlfriend so what i do is none of your business.” you defend yourself, pointing a finger at him. “none of my business?!” he yells, raising his eyebrows in disbelief. “you being a fucking slut is none of my business?” he asks, infuriated.
“rafe!” sarah gasps.
“yeah, i’m definitely a slut.” you scoff a laugh, shaking your head at his idiocy. you aren’t together, he hasn’t asked you out, so what makes him think you belong to him only?
“yeah, you are. if i knew you were a whore i wouldn’t’ve fucked your sorry ass in the first place,” rafe belittles you, always believing he was above you because you’re a pogue. “she’s not a whore, don’t be such a dick!” sarah argues with her brother, not liking the way he’s speaking to you.
“shut up, sar, that’s why you two are best friends. just two little slutty bitches together” he scoffs, shaking his head as he laughs at you both. “oh, and you’re not?!” sarah laughs back at him. “yeah, you’ve literally slept with half the girls on the island, and we’re the sluts?” you add.
“right,” rafe scoffs, finding your words amusing. “who’s the other guy?” he asks, changing the topic, looking at you with an intimidating expression. “…it doesn’t matter.” you gulp, side eyeing sarah for a quick second.
“what the fuck was that for?” rafe caught onto the way you looked at sarah, which made him immediately suspicious. “nothing—”
“what’re you hiding from me, y/n?” he asks, taking a step closer which made you gulp, looking up at him as he towers over your vulnerable self. “i’m not hiding nothing!—”
“then tell me who the hell you fucked.” he demands, his lip quivering in rage. “… barry. there, ya’ happy?” you spill out since he wanted to know so bad. he falls silent for a moment before laughing at you. “barry? drug dealer barry? are you fuckin’ serious?” he went from angry to enraged, yelling at you now.
you don’t answer, you only look up at him with tears in your eyes, which tells him that you are being serious. “you— what the fuck? you been goin’ behind my back and fuckin’ barry?” he yells, making you flinch. “rafe, barry doesn’t know either—” sarah tries to help, seeing him turn to look at her for a second before looking back at you. “you really are a fuckin’ whore, you know that?” he laughs angrily, trying to maintain his sanity. “tell him. go fuckin’ tell him, cause either way you’re gonna abort that thing.” he yells, looking you up and down in disgust. “am i?!” you ask at his audacity. it’s your decision, not his nor barry’s.
“yeah, you fuckin’ are. cause even if it is mine, i don’t want nothin’ to do with it.” he cruelly tells you, his face just inches away from yours. your lips quiver as you can’t help but cry now. his mean words seriously hurt your feelings.
“good luck with barry” he sarcastically scoffs a laugh before turning around and completely walking out of the room, slamming the door shut after him. his angry footsteps lead to his own room, where you hear the door slam shut from down the hallway.
“y/n…” sarah says, quickly pulling you into a hug. you hug her back and sob for a minute, before pulling away to wipe your eyes. “fuck” you whisper to yourself, thinking about what to do now.
“i’m gonna go to barry’s.” you say, grabbing your phone from sarah’s bed and putting it in your pocket. “are you sure? do you want me to come with you?” she asks. “no, it’s okay. i don’t think he’s gotten over the time you supposedly robbed him” you roll your eyes, talking about the pogues. “true” she shrugs it off, seeing your point, he probably wouldn’t react well to seeing her.
— after leaving sarah’s, you head over to barry’s trailer, where you see him sitting out on his porch, smoking a joint. you walk up to him and grab his attention, making him look at you. “hey, pretty girl” he grins once he saw you, removing the joint from his lips. barry’s nickname for you was pretty girl. he always called you it, no matter how you looked.
you smile with a blush, seeing him pat the empty space next to him, motioning for you to come sit. “y’alright? what you here for?” he asks, setting his joint aside on the table in front of him once you sit down. “uh, i need to talk to you actually…” you say, giving him a serious look. “what’ you need to talk about?” he looks into your eyes, giving you his full attention.
“please don’t freak out when i tell you this but,” you sigh. “don’t freak out? what is it?” he asks, frowning at you, kinda freaking out now since you told him not to… “long story short. i’m pregnant,”
“oh shit,”
“but, but… i’ve been seeing someone else too, so i don’t know if it’s yours or not…” you decide to just straight up tell him instead of leading it on.
“damn, who else you been fuckin’?” he asks with an amusing grin on his face, not knowing what to think. he doesn’t know you too well, he’s just your weed dealer, and he isn’t obsessed with you like rafe is. “…rafe.” you awkwardly tell him, knowing he’ll laugh, and of course, he laughed. “country club?”
“damn, girl, you just foolin’ around huh?” he asks with an amused grin. “i guess” you shrug. “so yo’ baby daddy is either me or rafe cameron?” he asks, seeing you nod. “damn.” he says again, running his hand through his hair. his reaction was way less meaner and angrier than rafe’s was, which you were entirely thankful for.
“i know, i’m sorry… i told rafe like 20 minutes ago and he flipped the fuck out. telling me to abort it, calling me a whore and shit,” you sigh. “he can be one sensitive son of a bitch, bruh.” he shakes his head. “what are you gonna do, tho’?” he’s curious to know. “i have no idea. i mean, i don’t want a kid right now, especially not rafe’s,” you say, giving him a crazy look.
“and i mean, you’re a drug dealer… my parents won’t particularly be too happy about that.” you say, seeing him nod in understanding. “well, whatever you decide to do, i’ll be here for you, k?” he looks at you, gently placing his hand on your leg for comfort.
“… thank you, barry, that means a lot” you smile at him, letting him know how grateful you are to have someone other than sarah be here for you right now, given that rafe probably doesn’t want to speak to you ever again.
“no problem, pretty girl, y’want somethin’ to eat?” he asks before standing up and walking to the trailer door, opening it and turning to look at you for your response. “what you got?” you giggle, seeing him motion for you to follow him. you stand up and join him, walking to his kitchen together.
at least one of the possible dads is trying.
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a kinda long one for u guys to make up for being gone for a couple of days!! ⋆ ˚。⋆୨୧˚ i love this one. rafe is always a little bitch 😩 i hope you guys enjoy + thank you for all the support on my previous fics! you’re all the best ㅤㅤᵕ̈ // not proofread. if you spot any mistakes please feel free to correct me 🎀
@cameronluvr
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dearharriet · 8 months ago
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could i request james potter x reader where james discovers reader’s small “j.f.p.” tattoo on her hip and he’s like !!! obsessed :D<3 ofc only if u feel like writing it love u 🦌
this is such a cute ideaaa !! ty for the request my darling, I hope you’re well! (wc: 860) (cw: non-sexual nudity)
You’d gotten it while James was away on a trip with friends. Not exactly a whim-of-the-moment thing, but neither was it entirely planned. You knew you wanted him on you somewhere, sometime, and then Marlene asked you to accompany her for a septum piercing…
The rest fell into place. There was a small postcard in your pocket that you’d pulled from your mailbox, with James’ scratchy handwriting detailing his excursions and how much he missed you. At the bottom, he’d signed his initials, and that was what you gave the artist for reference.
There was a week of marveling at it afterwards, tracing over it with your fingertips every time your shirt lifted and wondering what James would say. If he had come home a couple days earlier, you might’ve gone with your heart and shown him right away, but he didn’t.
So when James barreled through the door of your shared apartment, towing bags and gifts, you stayed silent.
The two of you had dinner, sat down for a movie that you didn’t watch. James described the whole trip and rubbed your feet and told you he missed you. You knew you couldn’t keep the tattoo a secret, but you couldn’t will yourself to bring it up, either.
Later in the night, when only your bedroom lamps were on anymore, James came back from the shower in a skimpy towel wrap.
“Babylove, I don’t think getting dressed is in the cards for me tonight.”
You were laying on the bed, one arm under your smooshed face and the other hanging limp over the side.
James went to the dresser, smiling at your drowsy eyes and kicking feet. You murmured something like ‘good’ before he dropped his towel.
“Yeah, good,” he teased, tugging a pair of boxers on.“‘Cept I think we oughtta even the playing field here.”
Curiously, you flipped onto your back to see James better. He was in the middle of crawling onto the bed, hands and knees on each side of your legs.
“What are we evening?”
At your waist, James smiled up at you, hands leaving the bed to sweep under your night shirt.
“Oh,” you breathed, and then lifted your arms and allowed him to tug it off. You glanced furtively to the waistband of your sleep shorts, catching the sliver of ink peeking out of the top before James’ hands were there.
“Y’okay bird?”
Looking up, you met James’ careful eyes, nodding your express approval. His lips twisted, and then his needling fingers retreated from your shorts to soothe up your waist.
“Yeah? Sure?” he asked, and you put your hands in his hair to reassure him, somewhat pressed for words. “So quiet.”
“Sorry,” you managed, hands venturing over his shoulders. “Just missed you.”
You felt the truth of that curling in your belly, and James must’ve seen it on your face. Smiling wide, he swooped in to plant a sloppy kiss on your cheek. “You too.”
A second kiss on the opposite cheek, and then he was back to business undressing you.
You sucked a breath in as the elastic pulled and slid down your hips, and the whole mass of scribbles caught light. James’ eyes were on your face, your hair all fanned out, but when he sat back to toss the shorts they traveled south and—
He froze. You can’t say for how long, but it felt an eternity, your breath held tight in your chest. When your body caught up with itself and exhaled, James’ name tumbled out with it, questioning and nervous.
His eyes flicked up to you for less than a second, a sliver of acknowledgment before he’d glued his eyes on the tattoo again. Something was swimming behind his expression, and you couldn’t gauge if it was bad or good.
“Jamie,” you said again, squirming, “please say something.”
With one finger, James traced the loops and turns of his own handwriting on your skin, swallowing dryly.
“Baby,” he finally spoke, a cloying ache in his voice. “Baby.”
Finally catching your gaze again, James just gawked at you with the awe of ten men. He was touching you, absently, reverently, which you figured was a good sign.
Not quite knowing what to say, you let him work out his thoughts, staying very still.
“This is real?” You nodded, and James’ lashes fanned over his cheeks as he gave it yet another look. Then, with a spoonful of disbelief he asked, “When?”
Hips shifting a bit under him, you said, “while you were away. It’s from your letter.”
“I know what it’s from,” James assured you. “I just can’t believe…”
You propped yourself up on your elbows, beckoning James’ attention.
“If you don’t like it, Jamie, I really want you to tell me. I won’t be offended.”
James shook his head ardently.
“I really love it, bird. Really truly. I just can’t fathom how lovely you are.”
You couldn’t stop yourself from cheesing, and James’ lips curled up too, a mirror of yours.
“Though,” he said, finally settling himself on top of you, “if I’d known that’s where my signature was going, I’d have signed my full name.”
+
thank u for reading! xx
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oh-no-its-bird · 3 months ago
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Obkk modern au where where Kakashi and Obito are online friends who have never seen eachothers faces. It's a years long friendship (and mutual silent crush) where they've helped eachother through what was truly the darkest parts of eachothers lives.
But irl they also happen to know eachother from childhood due to having gone to the same schools and shared the same classes, and they fucking DESPISE the other. You can not stick them in a room without someone starting a fight.
When they interact irl, play into specifically the early dynamics of obkk, with kind of superficially happy/dumb Obito and a "follow the rules to the letter" grumpy overachiever Kakashi
But when they're online, play more into the older obkk dynamic.
Where Obito shows that he has a pretty big mean streak/humor and a serious talent for playing dumb; where he overlays his happier side irl for just social reasons.
While Kakashi shows he's actually super lazy and imperfect with most other factors of his life outside of work/school (and ofc downplays his actual work ethic when it comes to work/school, framing himself as doing bare minimum when he should really do more (bc he genuinley believes that)) and has a pretty wicked sense of humor himself, a love of over-romantic, fluffy porn, and a habit of using endless "cute" emotocons
Kk: Did my proposal today, it was so bad... I really slacked off this time on it. I was so nervous they'd tell me no (。﹏。")
Kk: I guess the other presentations must have been pretty bad too because they picked mine anyways? I feel so lucky (╥﹏╥)
Ob: it's ok even if you tried your best!! Im proud you were able to do even as much as you did.
Ob: I'm glad you got it, at least one of us won their proposal today. That jackass had a fucking 30 slide detailed slide with 6 DIFFERENT PIE CHARTS and a scheduled water break inbetween. Fucking kissass
Kk: nooo im sorry ( •̯́ ^ •̯̀)
Ob: it's whatever. Just glad you got the thing :)
Ob: want me to kill your boss tho.
Kk: lol
Kk: I'll help hide the body ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
And then one day Obito does some sort of very mean prank on Kakashi. And it goes uhh. Badly.
I mean, badly for Kakashi. Obito thinks it went great!
That is till he gets home and finds his best friend for a decade, and crush for even past that decade, texting him about a very specific mean prank that got pulled on them.
Wait. No. Wait. WAIT. FUCK.
So like. Obito is a bit conflicted now. He doesn't know what to really do here??? Like. What if it ruins everything with his best friend??? But also hey best friend why the FUCK are you such a BITCH.
But also also, suddenly Obito is recontextualizing SO many of their interactions— from Kakashi suffering the devistating loss of his father when he was especially annoying, to explanations of why he reacted certain ways. And oh my god Obito is... also a kind of a bitch???
Obito has NO idea what to do and is just swinging so violently back and forth on what are really his only two options.
And sometimes he's like gleefully feeling vindictive bc after arguing with irl Kakashi, online Kakashi is ranting about "that same asshole again" at work, so Obito is like "I KNEW it was getting to u, haha you're NOT better than me after all!!!"
But then later he feels kinda bad about it bc like. Aw wait no he actually might have genuinley hurt the person he loves. And also he doesn't want to lose getting to see the real Kakashi, a mix of both of his masks, by fucking this up and choosing wrong.
Anyways Kakashi finally somehow figures it out on his own, they fight, they make up, they make out.
The end yay happy ending
There's an alternate universe where neither of them every found out about eachother and continued to be friends online and hate eachother to escalating degrees offline. But one day they start to slowly shift in dynamics. Irl they get closer and online they get so much angrier and more distant. Till we've swapped and now online they just have this GIANT fallout but offline they're actually in love now. And this continues till they're about to get married/no longer on speaking terms with eachother. And so on their wedding day they reach out again online but ONLY to hate on eachother like "oooo fuck you I'm so happy rn I just got MARRIED."
"Oh yeah you bitch??? So did I. And my husbands better than anything your ugly ass could ever pull"
"FUCK YOU MY HUSBANDS FUCKING AMAZING AND YOURS IS PROBABLY LOOKS AND ACTS LIKE SHIT"
"OH YEAH????"
"YEAH!!!"
"PROVE IT!"
And then they very sharply turn and take simultaneous photos of eachothers furious faces and then angrily, instinctivley press send.
And then they stop. And then they have a moment of dead silence.
And then they begin to have an actual, physical fist fight in front of the uncut wedding cake with ALL of their friends and families watching. And the photographers with their very ready cameras.
There was a lot of cake.
Yeah that was ah uhh. Interesting
The good news at least is now they have a photo of them fist fighting like they want to kill eachother while covered in wedding cake in a frame that says "happy marriage <3" on it, and they like to joke about it (to many, many peoples horror)
The end yay happy ending x2
If I were to write this fr I think I'd legally have to write both versions bc both are excellent
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dunmeshistash · 3 months ago
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My post about animal loving in Dungeon Meshi got a lot of traction (and I'm very happy so many people resonated with it) but I did leave out details that were too specific to the personal situation of the characters since I wanted to write something that was easy to understand by someone that had only seen up to that episode, since the episode about Senshi's past wasn't out yet, and because I wanted to focus on that subject as it related to that scene.
Ofc Senshi's relationship to Anne was more complex, he named her after the pony his party had to eat and he probably saw Anne the pony in the Anne the Kelpie, I think that would fit better in a Senshi analysis than an Anne the Kelpie analysis. There's also the fact that even tho Laios *knows* monsters are unpredictable and wild he thought he could control Kensuke which backfired during the dragon fight.
But those details I don't think added much to my line of thought, the way people justify why they think an animal is special varies a lot and can be rooted in past trauma, but the complexity of the relationship is one-sided. Not to say you can't have complex feelings about an animal, as long as at the end you understand them and their needs.
The Laios thing wasn't quite the same but it was also part of our relationship to animals tbh, I was analyzing it thru a lens of love and Laios does love Kensuke as an animal, but he also thought it was an animal he could control, which I also think it's human nature, he thought since he "understood" Kensuke he could control it, but he says so himself, he doesn't know how monsters think.
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I think this one relates more to people that have so much experience with an animal that they forget wild animals are still unpredictable, a "perfectly trained" Lion is still capable of biting your head off even if it didn't the last 100 times.
I really enjoy how Laios reacts to it after he suffers the consequences tho
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He never takes it personally when he suffers because of a monster, even towards the Red Dragon he never reacts in anger as if he needs to "take revenge" on the dragon and even tho Kensuke "betrayed" him he still feels sorry when he thinks he might have harmed him later on.
The thing he says about trying to find an use to living monsters reminds me of another Kui work. it's a great read and made me think a lot, chapter 8 from 'the dragon school is on top of the mountain' (Another option if you can't open mangadex)
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This got longer than I intended and I'm not going anywhere with it, I just love animals and talking about loving them.
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yuh-l8t · 1 month ago
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its villain Kirishima
villan Kirishima who stalks you and your every move bc he just can’t resist a pretty lil thing who looks like a goddess, one who could rule the world with. Villan Kirishima who hooks up with you bc let’s b honest you don’t like to watch the news and he knows it so you’d have no idea of who he is and because he finally found what he was feeling..love (more of a fuckin obsession bc he knows what soap u use and what clothing u wear EVEN your shoe size) he is OBSESSED. Villain Kirishima who starts dating you only for guys to flaunt over to u and hit on you (yes Kiri is all dressed so no one notices him bc he doesn’t want to start a whole stampede EXPETIALY in a mall) (you two have been dating for like 3 years now)
And now your at home from said mall..You were pinned to the counter as kirishima is fucking into you like a mad man (he technically is but you don't know that) you can’t make out any words because his tip is rubbing your g-spot and because his massive cock is splitting you open like your his personal cocksleeve and the only thing you can think about in this moment is how fast he’s fucking the shit out of you
Simply because he’s seen so many guys eyeing you, some of them even had the courage to come up to talk to you and ignore Kirishima, ofc he was pissed off ab it
what really set him off was when he saw said dude grab you by your waist and try to kiss you (yes it was in front of Kirishima)
OOOOO BOY WAS HE PISSED
he simply dragged you to the car and told you to wait there
meanwhile he was dragging the guy to a alleyway andddddd punched him once squatted down (he’s so hot omg) and said “if I ever see you again I will fuckin’ kill you”
the guy was fucking shaking in fear bc let’s be honest what power would our lovely kirishima have if he wasn’t intimidating and serious to those who oppose him or those who even think about his downright gorgeous (it took me half an hour trynna spell that word… the things I do for u people) girlfriend
and now he’s fucking you like there’s no tomorrow “yeah? You love it when my fat cock is in you huh? You love it when I’m deep in your pussy? You love it when I’m fucking you like this?yeah?yeah?”
you are so out of it like you could barely breathe just from how fast he’s fucking you
all because he’s soooooooooooo possessive of his pretty gal
He must keep you all to himself ( not only because your his girl but also because he’s crazy for you)
next thing that happens is that a HERO (his nemesis bakugo no I won’t go into detail bc I’m l lazyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy) Was hitting on you….BROAD DAYLIGHT anywhooooooooooooooooo
he simply went and sized up bakugo in broad daylight in front of you and ofc its you being in the middle only for you to be all confused bc you don’t watch the news
you innocently look up at Kirishima and with pure confusion you ask
“Babe..whats going on?” As you cling to him
bakugo being clearly confused
he simply looks down at you softening his gaze but still standing his ground ready to fight “ I’ll tell you later jewel..please go back to the car”
and you do because no#1 he fine af no#2bc why not? No#3 bc you want to walk
so now your in the car and your waiting patiently thennnnn something happens the guy who previously kissed you is running for whatever reason (bc kiri scared the shit outta him)
he made eye contact with you and played it off as if he were just on a jog.
he then walked up to the car you were in and tapped on the glass just to yk talk to you
you got out of the car bc you have simply lost the will to walk :/
and you start to walk around with the guy bc you simply didn’t think of the consequences of your actions smh
And so here you are ( if you want the fight tell me) walking around and clearly Kiri won the fight because yeah and he's a hottie so ofc he will win likeeee
So he was panicking because he couldn't find you
anything could have happened like you getting stolen, someone better than him takes you away, you dumped him, the hero’s took you
Whatever it was it made him mad
he jumped on rooftop of the buildings and searched
it only took him 5 minutes to find you
He looked at the guy and fucked him up
grabbed you ( he threw you over his shoulder and smacked your ass when you threw a fit)
“ you shoulda’ stayed in the car like I told you to”
“ but I don’t wannaaaa it’s boring in there! I wanna go shopping!!!!!!!”
and that earned you another smack to the ass
And here you are now
getting fucked on the counter, his tip reaching places you can’t with your dildo
him punishing your pussy
him playing with your clit and stopping and pulling out when you about to release
and no
not like the other smuts that are written he doesn’t finaly let you cum
instead he restrains you to stop you from touching and sits you across from him an you each as he pumps his dick in his hand
and you simply whine from the loss of contact
you never got that contact for the rest of the night
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astrologydayz · 1 year ago
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ASTROLOGY FUCKING NOTES2🖤💀
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Nobody really knows a person with a 12th House Sun🤔🤔. They hide themselves really well, & project themselves as someone they're truly not. They don't do it on purpose, they're just so fucking private. My brother actually has this placement, and we're practically twins, but I still feel like I don't know him, AT ALL. They hide themselves, because they're afraid that their true selves won't be "enough"/won't be "liked". BUT OFC IT WILL, & IF NOT, THEN FUCK THEM, BABE.
MOON CONJUNCT/SQUARE SATURN people can hate being alone 4 the first two decades of their lives, but later learn 2 be their own best friend, & love it. They "mother themselves 2 life/back2life". They learned the hard way, that everything is better when u don't put your faith in just anybody. They also learned not 2 trust from a young age, because of their mother/father or both parents💀💔.
I've seen people say "that u can choose not to access that specific energy in your chart, if you don't want 2"🤣. Like u can choose 2 get a million dollars tmrw?, IF YOU WANT 2?🤣 come on. Natal charts are a tool 2 c who u are, why you developed that way/what “happens in your life”, and why you're here with the help of astrology. No matter the aspect, it will be present at some point. A chart never lies🔮🤷‍♀️.
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MOON SQUARE/QUINCUNX VENUS IN A MAN'S NATAL CHART tells us that he finds it hard 2 understand women. He has "problems" when it comes 2 feminine energies, &with the women he's surrounding himself with🤔. He can have a hate/love relationship 2/with women💋.
VENUS CONJUNCT/TRINE/QUINTILE MONY ASTEROID - 7782) IN SYNASTRY, will cause the asteroid person 2 provide the Venus person with a lot of material gifts👠🛍💄.
IDK why anybody would say that your MC has NOTHING to do with how u look/how people see u! Lol okay. My mentor must have been on drugs when she was taught everything + in all those 43 years she's been in practice then. gtfo. Let me give u an example. 👇🏼
I’ll just tell you everything I see with this aspect.
Kim K = Venus in Virgo in 9th house at 19 degrees - Libra degree) conjunct her MC in Virgo at 28 degrees - cancer degree). She's famous 4 her beautiful looks/people finding her beautiful. she always does things to look "YOUNGER, cosmetic procedures etc. 2 take years off! Growing a big following worldwide of young people looking up 2 her/her being idolized by them. Famous 4 being beautiful/4modelling/fashion/cosmetics - being in Venusian businesses/4 who she dates. she also takes after her MOM, with her looks!!! I know her mom was/is also her manager, & I would include this here, cuz u can actually see that, but I would have to go into details again. Idk if u would find that boring?? as I already wrote a lot. Thanks for making it this far😂.
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ASTEROID MEMORIA (1247) IN SYNASTRY can tell u why u feel like you’ve met the other person before, or what memories that r the most "memorable" with the other person🧡🪐🔮.
ASTEROID FANATICA - 1589) IN SYNASTRY tells u what really fascinates u about the other person/what u can become obsessed with, when it comes 2 the other person❕
IF U HAVE A SYNASTRY ASPECT/OR ASPECTS with someone, and u also have it in your natal chart = a very important person you're dealing with! They'll teach u whatever the aspect is/aspects are! And they're meant 2 be the one who teaches it 2u/ or meant 2 be the one who makes that aspect exist in your life. (good or bad).
VENUS OPPOSITE VERTEX/CONJUNCT ANTI-VERTEX IN SYNASTRY is co cute🥹, Vertex let Venus in2 their "private world". Venus is usually not the type Vertex person goes 4, but they’re mesmerised anyway!! “There’s just something unreal about Venus”.
KARMA ASTEROID - 3811) can tell you about your karma! Old karma/Karma you're creating etc. U can use it in in any chart u want2, natal charts, synastry charts, composite charts, Davidson Charts, solar return charts, lunar return charts, progressed charts, ANY CHART U WANT2 BABE!!🪐🤛💥🪐⛅☀🌊.
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BLACK MOON LILITH SQUARE/QUINCUNX ASC in a WOMAN'S CHART can show problems with both genders. She can feel left out, not apart of "the group", when it comes to women. And with men = men always trying to run up on her/trying her boundaries, &they're provocative af. People can't handle her here. She will not conform to anyone. She can feel pretty fucking alone in the way she goes about her day to day life. feeling like nobody will ever understand the struggles she has/the pain she's going around with. The key here is acceptance of ones self. She cannot change herself for others sake, she will never be happy. She'll be happy when she chooses herself, & the right people will flock 2 her, right after. They'll See her light, &will not put who she is down, but CELEBRATE. It can also be the complete opposite. She can be a people pleaser, & has internal fights with herself, every day about this. Trying 2 fit in with groups, dating men who's crossing her boundaries, all the time. She either fights people, or she fights herself. SHE HAS 2 STAY TRUE2HERSELF! There will always be people hating on her, no matter how she moves. FUCK THEM. People who are meant 2 be in her life will CELEBRATE HER!! Not put who she is down/make her change. People who can't understand her = she needs2 get them the fuck out.
NEPTUNE CONJUNCT ASC can show a person living in their own "delulu world". They're not really "there" - can be seen as the "dumb blonde". Neptune can cloud their mind, every single day. They're "different"/they change all the time. They can't really be "real" with people. Trying 2 always be friends with everyone, not really having their own opinions, following the pack etc. They can 100% people please.
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VALENTINE/AMOR/ 447) - 1221) CONJUNCT MC - They "look like love", &they also project it out. People think they're beautiful. But remember, even tho people know/c them like that = doesn't mean that they're really like that. That's just what they show off/how they're "known" in the eyes of the public/in their career/their surroundings💜.
SUN MAKING AN "EASY" ASPECT2 MOON does not mean that your parents like each other. I have this, and my parents literally can't stand each other. I've seen this more times than I can count. It's about your conscious ego&how you emotionally feel about the way u express yourself/with the way u "show your ego off" - "yin&Yang duality".
I HATE MOON SQUARE URANUS IN SYNASTRYYYYY. Uranus will pop in&out of the other person's life, as they desire2. The Moon person needs support&a feeling of being safe, &Uranus wants other things/aka not worried about the Moon person - Uranus is erratic. WHO GOT TIME4THAT?
MERCURY OPPOSITE NEPTUNE can show us a person being pretty good at lying/coming up with lies easily/Quickly. Having no problems with finding "excuses" 4 what they say/do, &can get other people in on it, 2 lie for them as well. It happens in periods tho, like on & off periods.
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Asteroids I always look at first: Nemesis - 128) Amor - 1221), Valentine - 447), Alma - 390), Destiny - 6583), Moira - 638), Eros - 433), Karma - 3811), Kama - 1387), Close - 54902), Apollo - 1862), Child - 4580), Compassion - 8990), Angel - 11911), Yes - 7707), Boda - 1487), DNA - 55555), Fast - 27719), Prey - 6157), Not - 2857), Casanova - 7328), Fox - 16248), Savage - 29837), Pholus - 5145), Fanatica - 1589), Priapus - h22), Sado - 118230), Medea - 212), Nessus - 7066), Dejanira - 157), Hazard - 9305), Mentor - 3451), Lysistrata - 897), Bilk - 4425 - using the other person 4 own material gain).
THANKS4READING BEAUTIFUL❤️🍒 Appreciate u, always.
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smusherina · 4 months ago
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bridges burnt - chapter 3 [epilogue series] (regina george x reader)
fandom: Mean Girls (all media)
pairing: Regina George x OFC/Reader
summary: When an invitation to Gretchen Wieners' wedding ended up in your mailbox, you'd been sure it was a mistake. Only, it read your name in neat, swoopy calligraphy. It was addressed to you. And Regina George, whom you hadn't spoken to in years.
additional clarification: This is set in the universe of yard work, a series of mine that can be found on my page! Reading this one might be a bit challenging without the context of the series :)
chapter 1 / chapter 2 / chapter 4
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You were leaning against the wall, an unlit cigarette in your mouth. Nicotine was the only substance you hadn't been able to cut off entirely. You smoked less now and were trying to quit, but it wasn't quite so easy. You had made a promise to smoke only once a day. This would be your third if you lit up.
"Need a light?" Janis rounded the corner, already inhaling. The scent of the smoke solved your dilemma. Fuck it. She exhaled as she extended her lighter to you. An old zippo. It was gold-ish in colour, engraved with shapes that were wearing away. You were pretty sure if she were to sell it, she'd get several hundred for it.
"Thanks." Maybe this was the universe telling you that it'd be okay. Just today. Just today, you could smoke all the goddamned cigarettes you wanted.
"When'd you and Regina get back together?" Janis leaned against the porch railing across from you. Behind her was a pretty hillside that led down into a thick forest. The sky was grey and not much light penetrated the dense clouds, making the woods look that much grimmer. You'd rather be there than here.
"A while ago." You might've not seen her in years but you knew when she was plotting something. That kiss out in the open like that was a clue, a wordless message she trusted you to get on your own. You were together. You didn't know what she was playing at or why you were going along with it. Probably old habits.
Janis snorted. "Romantic. Mia would kill me if I said we've been together for a while."
"Get off my dick, Janis," You snapped unnecessarily. You didn't want to be on the spot like this. You couldn't give many details and risk contradicting Regina.
(Why couldn't you? Why didn't you say, "Oh, hey, actually we're not together" instead of, once more, following her example like a good dog.)
"Jeez, I was just asking. Trouble in paradise? Sure didn't seem that way." She wiggled her eyebrows at you. You wished you hadn't lit up the cig so you could just walk away.
"We're fine. Why's your Mia not here?" You assumed that was her partner.
"I didn't get a plus one." She shrugged. "Besides, not sure she could've gotten out of work. They're doing a merger, or something."
"She's the breadwinner then and you're what? A tortured artist?"
"What you don't realize, my friend, is that I'm winning here. I have a beautiful wife who makes money like a printer, has a 401k and air-tight insurance, and works nine to five while I get to paint my little paintings all day." Janis took a drag. "And she fucks me good."
You groaned. "Janis, please."
"Meanwhile you act like you're better than me when, in fact, I'm happy and you're miserable." She finished off with a snarky smile.
Once upon a time, you'd fantasized about staying in the garage all day, fixing old cars as a hobby, and greeting Regina when she got home from her Real Adult Job, wearing a sexy pantsuit and carrying a mysterious briefcase.
Not anymore. You wore the suits, you carried the briefcase, and you did not fix old cars as a hobby.
"You should give motivational speeches. Think Northshore would love to have you back." You took a deep drag. Deflecting with sarcasm was cheap but effective.
"You think?" Her smile softens. "Seriously, though, how've you been?"
"It's been... Good." It had been good recently. You knew, though, that Janis was asking about the last ten years and not just your week. If you were to compile a list of all the good and bad things from that long a time period, one would be perhaps a page and the other a several-foot scroll. Respectively.
"Wow. I forgot how close-lipped you are." Janis said. You could tell she was disappointed. You'd never been friends, not really, not ever like her and Damian, but there was an understanding between you.
You let up.
"We got back together after college." You swallowed, trodding on eggshells, being as vague as possible. "I was cleaning up my act, trying to get away from it all. Moved back into town and met Regina coincidentally. Rest is history, I suppose." You eyed the hills. The view turned into misty nothingness before you could tell if it was the ocean there or more land.
"I heard your dad passed," Janis said, blunt but not mean. "Sorry to hear that."
"Yeah, I guess." You rubbed your forehead. It wasn't tactful to tell a near-stranger that you weren't actually all that upset about it. "To be honest, it was a long time coming. He was in bad shape."
He'd gotten ill when you were in college. At first, all the business stuff was being handled by his team but as more and more time passed and he showed no signs of getting better, he started nagging you to do more for the company.
What the fuck you were gonna do? You didn't know shit about business and, besides, were high out of your mind half the time. You didn't want any of it, didn't want his blood money and shady practices. But you were gonna get it.
Now, you could say you had things under control. Somewhat. You sold some locations, passed them off to people better suited, and sure, lost some money in the process but you weren't ambitious like your dad had been.
If it was up to you, you'd keep the one shop you'd always worked at and make an honest, humble living the remainder of your days. Start a project you could work on for the next several years and be content.
"Sorry to hear that." Janis stumped her cigarette on the ground. You did the same, dropping the stub and snuffing it out with your shoe.
"Well." You sighed. "I'm not."
With that, you turned and walked back towards the doors leading into the hall. Janis followed behind you.
People were still mingling around the place, the bride and groom yet to make an entrance. Your table was somewhere in the middle, not one of the important ones but with a clear view of the stage and where the important people were meant to be sitting.
The mother of the bride was eyeing the room like a hawk scanning for prey. Her eyes didn't catch yours but you could tell she was keen on Janis. The all-black ensemble stood out almost as much as Regina's white stole.
Speaking of her. She was sitting and chatting with Shane, seeming cool and casual. Damian was there too, engaged and laughing at the right parts.
You approached deliberately slowly, trying to hear what they were talking about before you sat down.
"-came back to town after college and we hit it off." She turned her head slightly and made eye contact with you. "Baby," She greeted you.
You cleared your throat, suddenly feeling warm. "Reg," You sat down and, as casually as you could, draped an arm over the back of her chair.
"I was just telling Shane how we met." Her sharp eyes met yours. "What'd you tell Janis?"
You needed to get your stories straight. Act natural. It was sheer luck you'd both set the same timeline.
"I was just telling her how we met up after college. If I remember correctly, wasn't it, uh, at uh..." You fumbled. "The grocery store?"
"Yes, mom saw you and I'm sure she didn't let you leave without a date set for when you'd come to dinner." Regina finished for you. Shane was buying it, slowly crawling out of his shell. You were quickly realizing that the gay people had all been shoved to one table. Hopefully, that didn't bode anything.
"That's Mrs George for you." You knew it was Ms now but old habits die hard.
Regina smiled at you, hand coming to rest on your knee. You shivered. It scared you how genuine she seemed. She could be awarded an Oscar for this shit.
You watched her, really looked at her. She was still so beautiful. She'd always been pretty beyond belief, gorgeous like a movie star, but the confidence she carried with herself now made it all a stunning, deadly combination.
Even so, you couldn't help feeling melancholy. You hadn't seen any of it, certainly were not the reason for it, and chances were this little scheme she was cooking up was at your expense. She had every right to seek vengeance against you.
You wondered if it was worth it to try and enjoy it. Would it hurt to dream a little? You could use a break from practicality.
You closed your eyes for a moment.
"Baby?" Your eyes fluttered open as her hand came to caress your cheek. You leaned into the touch.
"Yeah?" You asked and tilted forward, closer to her. Regina mirrored you, putting a hand on your knee and leaning some of her weight on it as her lips neared yours.
"Just focus on me," She grinned and you resisted the urge to steal a kiss. "Trust me."
"Always." You whispered, reverent in just the same way you used to be. You'd known it for a long time, the irresistible fate you'd sworn yourself to, that you'd go back to her every time.
"Ehem," Someone cleared their throat behind you. You went to look but Regina kept a hold on you. She placed a languid kiss on your lips, sending your mind into orbit, before turning towards the person so rudely invading your bubble.
"Yes?" She almost hissed, smiling in a way that was more like a threat. All teeth and sharp edges.
"The bride and groom are about to enter, so it would be really, really nice if you two could can it for a few moments, 'kay? Thanks!" The maid of honour chirped, voice so high pitched you had to wonder if she was inhaling helium on her off-time.
Regina watched her scurry away, eyes going up and down her retreating back in a manner that surely should've made you jealous. You knew, though, that for one, Regina didn't like girls that wore dresses and, secondly, that she was up to something. She wasn't checking out the maid of honour—she wished—but evaluating her.
"What a bitch, right?" Regina turned to the rest of the table with a sneer on her face.
You bit your cheek to hide a smile as everybody agreed. This was going to be utter shit. Total, absolute chaos with a side of heartbreak and, potentially, a ruined wedding.
You dreaded it. You anticipated it. Both could be true at once.
Notes: Hello all! Been some time! I've been in my summer groove, having a proper vacation. It's been liberating. Hopefully there's some interested readers for this series :) Taglist posted separately! If you want to be added, comment on that post please.
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hotgirlssupportlando · 2 months ago
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one day x lando norris pt 5
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this is a part of my series following one day of every summer from 2016 onwards in y/n’s and lando's lives, exploring their friendship and love for one another. ofc not a smooth ride with some angst and fights along the way. a friends to lovers, growing up together kind of thing. read first part here pairing: lando norris x fem!reader summary of this part: y/n is with her friends watching an f1 race where she and lando met for the first time a few years ago. wc: 1,3k a/n: one of my fav moments in f1 is when lando got this podium, it was and still is so nerve wracking to watch! but yeah let's just forget that that race was without audience, so i modified it a bit :)
summer of 2020
Red Bull Ring, Austria
the atmosphere at a grand prix weekend is something y/n can’t compare to anything else. there was no better feeling than hopping of a bus, walking towards the circuit and hear the f2 cars roar in the distance, you just knew it was gonna be a good day. with a huge smile she and her friends from uni walked along the strip of tents selling merch and drinks. they were on a roadtrip through europe and the four girls and herself accidentally came across five grandstands tickets to the race day and just couldn't resist going. y/n was beyond excited, not only for the race but also as this was the first time she was back at the red bull ring since she met lando there four years ago.
”omg, look y/n there’s the fan stage we have to go there immediately!!” her friend squealed grabbing her hand. excitingly they ran to the crowd who was stood cheering for the renault boys, danny ric and esteban ocon. ricciardo of course got the crowd bursting into laughter at practically anything he said and y/n and her friends were no exception. after a while the mclaren boys entered the staged instead, causing y/n to freeze for a sec. seeing lando on the stage, goofing around like his old self, was some kind of shock to her. obviously she knew that he would be there but she wasn’t prepared to see him like this, like the boy she met at this very place years ago. 
since last summer the pair had met once or twice but it wasn’t like it used to be before he got into f1. he was always so busy nowadays, constantly on his phone when they were hanging out, barely hearing what she talked to him about, it felt like talking to a brick wall. a bit funny that he was always on the phone but it sometimes took days for him to answer her messages or facetime calls. so after a while she kind of gave up, of course they would text each other now and then but not even close to how much they kept in touch before f1, which of course saddened her at times but what could she do? he was living his best life now, and apparently she wasn’t included in that. 
but there he was, 40 meters away laughing at someone’s sign, with no clue that his friend he hadn’t seen in forever was in the crowd too. ”isn’t that your friend? the one that aalways called you?” one friend asked y/n while another added ”ooh i remember him! he used to call you every time when we were at y/f/n’s studying. kinda cute y/n!! you never told us that??”. y/n laughed remembering how she and lando used to talk almost every night that first year at uni when he was still in f2. they would talk about everything, updating one another about every little boring detail in their lives and some nights they would just sit in each others company without talking about anything, with their phone calls usually ending when one of them fell asleep. oh well. now she just waved her friends away, blushing at the fact that they remembered so much details about their old friendship. 
after a while they were heading towards their grandstand seats not too far away from the start and the podium. with a beer in each hand they were soon stood cheering at any minor happening at their part of the track and y/n felt so truly happy with her friends alongside her having the best time of her life. 
later on, with a few mandatory courses at college in german under her belt, y/n tried to figure out what the german commentators were talking so excitedly about lando for. to be completely honest, those courses didn’t contribute too much, as the only thing she understood was ’hamilton’, ’lando’ and ’fünf’ which was probably the language skills an elementary school student would’ve had. but with the help of her friends they figured out that hamilton got a five second penalty and that lando had to make up a whole lotta time to score his first f1 podium. and holy fuck. when y/n understood that a podium was possible? she became a total wreck, she didn’t know if she would jump up and down of excitement or if that would jinx it or if it was best to look away and hope for the best. 
however, that last lap felt like it went in slow motion, y/n carefully watching every motion lando’s car did at the screen in front of them. she saw him drive by their grandstand towards the finish line, immediately looking at the screen. lando's gap was 4.8 seconds to hamilton. 4.8 SECONDS??? did she read that right?? with some kind of magical powers lando had caught up with lewis’ penalty and got a fkn podium?? she couldn’t believe her eyes. how was it possible?
in some kind of hallucination she and her friends ran onto the track as fast as possile and onwards to the podium to see the champagne pop up close. it felt so special to be a part of his first ever podium in f1. seeing him up there with the biggest smile in the word, enjoying every bit of it. y/n couldn’t have been more proud of him.
after all the celebrations and the overwhelming excitement had laid off a bit and the girls were slowly walking away from the podium, y/n couldn’t help but recognize a smaller podium a bit further away. ”i’ll catch you in a bit, i’m just gonna go look at one thing over here” she told her friends while she walked towards the small podium. could it really be it?
it sure was. looking around the podium all the memories from a few years ago came back to her. she recognized every little bit, exactly where she had been running around desperately seeking lando at the podium, remembering how anxious she had been not finding him, thinking she was never going to see him again. and how he appeared from nowhere, surprising her with pepsi and flowers. y/n could perfectly picture it where they had stood sharing their first and only kiss, how happy she had felt in that very moment.
her 20-year old self was now stood smiling at a patch of grass with a half rotten podium on. waking up from her little daydream she realized that after all these years, she still felt so strongly for lando, and not only as friends. she just had to tell him in some sort of way or at least hint about it. so she grabbed her phone, set it up a couple of meters away, turning on the timer and ran to the place where they had kissed. there she stood in her summer dress, similar to the one four years ago, with her hand held up at her eyebrows as if she was looking for someone. *click*. as the photo was taken she excitedly ran to it, opened her instagram dm’s and started writing to lando ”if i remember correctly, a podium at red bull ring means i owe you a kiss?” and was about to add the photo when she saw that lando had posted something on his story. might as well look at that first. 
y/n froze. ”no no no no, this can’t be true, please no lando” she started hyperventilating, falling onto her knees. she looked up towards the sky as to somehow stop the flood of tears that she felt coming. but nothing could stop these heartbroken tears from streaming and she couldn’t care less if anyone saw her in the state that she was. still on her knees she looked once again at lando’s instagram story, a picture of him with a trophy in one hand and what seemed like a girlfriend with flowers and champagne in her hands with the words ”there’s no one like you, love you forever”.
_____
taglist
@amberpanda99 @phantomxoxo @landossainz @chezmardybum @lan4cha16 @tvdtw4ever @starlit-skiessss @dorothea47 @hadids-world @nzygftoji @sltwins
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brendaareiss · 2 months ago
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CAL AND ANDRE HEADCANONS! Finally! I feel like there's some I have already said b4, but idk. Enjoy!
⚠️Triggers⚠️: SA, SH
- Andre furrowed his brows when he was concentrated, Cal poked his tongue out
- Andre was actually a great student. That's why most of the people didn't like him either, whether being because of envy or because they saw him as a nerd and annoying. But bro had +A on everything
- Cal on the other hand, was pathetic at studies. His best ever grade was a C
- They didn't actually hold hands most of the time, just intertwine pinkies unconsciously
-Cal always followed andre everywhere. It was not even a conscious act.
- They both talked shit abt their siblings
- Andre=bpd + psicopathy
- Cal= adhd + depression (duh).
- Andre paid attention on the smallest details and had rlly good memory. Like, something stupid Cal said years ago, andre remembered it like it was yesterday. Or he knew what things Cal liked or not, even if Cal hasn't told him, he knew it because he paid attention to what Cal was doing
- Cal was a chronic nail biter. Rachel tried putting nail polish on him to make it better, because Cal reached the point where his whole finger was covered in blood
-Cal has had many addictions in his life. It was all because his depression, he couldn't get happiness (dopamine) in anything in his life so he tried to get it somewhere else. That's why he started doing weed at a young age, well, until the possession charge. After that, he went straight to cutting. It wasn't as good as to get high, but at least it worked and wasn't illegal. He used to get blackout drunk too, trying to get dopamine from where he could.
- U can't tell me they didn't explore each other's bodies. Ofc they did (I like to think they would refer to that as "favors"), but they never rlly knew what the fuck they were. Were they boyfriends? Were they just friends with benefits? That's actually where the term "the army of two" appeared, trying to give what they had a tag or a "name". But they knew rlly well they weren't just friends. They knew each other too much, they were too similar and too connected to be just friends.
- Cal was sa'd from when he was 7 years old until he was 14 by his cousin, who was 8 years older than him. He never told anything to anyone, not even Andre, but he eventually figured it out. He was paranoid and very protective with his siblings (even though he didn't like them, it doesn't mean that they weren't siblings, Cal cared for them a lot), making sure his cousin NEVER approached them. And if someone older talked to them he would get rlly anxious and freaked out.
- Andre always cared too much about Cal. He knew the state of Cal's mental health and physical health (anemic ass) so he always was there for him. And I like to think not only andre, but his family too. Feeding him until Cal couldn't physically bring the fork to his mouth (I'm sure Andre's mom would be the one to say: "Cal, you have to eat more! You're so thin!")
- Andre was not always seen with the Gabriel's (because Cal's sister HATES andre with all her guts) but Calvin was ALWAYS seen with the kriegman's. Andre's dad always knew that when he mentioned "family vacation/trip", Cal was tagging along.
-Cal learned to stay calm when Andre had his bpd splits (extreme anger most of the time). There was a time when he actually felt rlly bad when Andre said what things to him or just screamed and pushed him around, but as time passed, he learned it was just another normal thing on Andre. That's why in the car scene, he at first didn't take him seriously, he then shut the fuck up and tried to get out of the situation as quickly as he could afterwards.
- Andre never really knew what the fuck was wrong with him. He wasn't like Cal, he didn't get diagnosed with shit and didn't even went to a psychologist. He thought he was just really aggressive and nothing more.
- Andre was low-key an alcoholic. He never got blackout drunk though
- The only thing Andre didn't clean, was his car. Maybe once in a month (or a week if there where a lot of empty beer cans in the back seats)
- Cal rlly liked sour candies.
- Andre slept A LOT.
- idk if I said this b4 but Andre's hand was always on Cal's thigh while he drove
- most of their hangouts were sleepovers. They seriously couldn't live without each other
- OF COURSE the reason why andre didn't like Rachel it's because he was EXTREMELY jealous of her. He felt like she was taking Cal away from him. He also felt that she talked shit about Cal when he wasn't there. The night Cal ditched Rachel for him, Andre's ego was 100% fueled
- Andre had migraines. Yeah. He didn't throw up though
- Following, andre NEVER puked. Like, he probably just threw up 1 time in his life. Cal on the other hand, every time he got sick, he vomited.
-Cal ALWAYS forgot his things EVERYWHERE. His parents didn't even make him his own keys, because they knew Cal would probably lose them too.
- As kids, Cal adored sharks and Andre lions and bears. (Cal adored sharks all his life though)
- Andre's grandparents who lived in Germany, had a bigass house with a garden. They had ALSO, a bigass dog. Of course Andre as a kid spent most of the time in the garden, playing with his brother and the dog.
- The only thing that made Andre calm down when he was angry, was changing the situation, making him forget about it, talking about another thing or doing another thing that isn't related to the reason he's mad. Distract him and make him forget why he was mad in the first place.
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wild-typo-turtle · 1 month ago
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Threads - Part 8
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Explicit (slow burn, 18+ only) - Rings of Power - Gil-galad x OFC (Elf)
Includes S2E8 of Rings of Power - spoilers ahoy!
Gil-galad had only taken a handful of steps when his gaze passed over yet another collapsed building. From the looks of things, it had once been an open, airy shop that had faced directly into the plaza. The roof had caved in, creating dusty shadows, and even his keen eyes might have missed the slumped figure had he not heard the tiny whimper from the darkness.
Eregion has been destroyed; Sauron is gone. And yet, the sun still shines, as the ruined city holds the last thing that High King Gil-galad had ever expected to find.
Themes: #Idiots in love, #love at first sight, #soulmates, #smut with feelings, #fix-it, #everybody lives
Content Warnings: Explicit content eventually (slow burn), canon-typical violence; loss of parents; grief/mourning
Tag List: @morganas-pendragons, @stellar-solar-flare, @the141bandicoot; @inyx-writes44
Dreamcasting: Keri Russell as Linnea
Part 1 (includes A/N and credits), Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7
Content Notes for Part 8: Grief, Mourning as themes; loss of parents
Part 8
Two Weeks Later
It was difficult for the Eldar to get drunk. Not unheard of, certainly - Dwarvish ale and the liquors of Men were seldom up to the task, yet the Elves’ own wines could often render one senseless. There were casks in the royal cellar, in fact, that Gil-galad had been wary of breaching. 
But now, as he stared at the page in front of him, now might be the very occasion.
Her tender heart I feel
O! Beloved!
Her tender flesh I taste
O! Beloved!
Her tender kiss I share
O! Beloved!
A river flows, a lily blooms
A proud tree rises as a sapling in springtime.
This was getting him nowhere. 
He was sure that Círdan’s advice had been well-meant, but the shipwright had never wed. He would have no concept of whether Rúmil’s writings were accurate - and indeed, Gil-galad was not sure he would either, even after his wedding night. The language was so vague and couched in metaphor, there were any number of things it might apply to.
But perhaps that was the point. Perhaps Rúmil was attempting to describe something that could not be described.
Although that bit about tasting…?
There was a soft knock on his door, and with relief, Gil-galad looked up.
Quickly, he closed the book and slid it under one of the stacks of papers on his desk. As useless as it was, he was not fond of the idea that someone might realize what he was attempting to do. This was private, and the only one he desired to be thinking about it besides himself was Linnea. 
He wondered what she was thinking. Did she share his trepidation? She had no more experience than he did, after all. Would she worry about pleasing him, just as he worried about pleasing her? 
The idea nearly made him laugh, and it offered reassurance. The heat that welled up in him every time he kissed her - no, she had no cause to fear. And he had seen the desire in her eyes, felt her tremble at his touch. They would find their way together.
The knock came again, and he rose. “Enter.”
Gil-galad had been grateful, all told, that Elrond had spent so much of the past weeks in Imladris. Construction was proceeding rapidly, and he knew that much of it was due to Elrond’s attention to detail - as well as his way of kindly encouraging the best from anyone around him. 
It had been a necessary sacrifice, losing his herald to bigger and better things. And one he had not resented bearing - save for the matter of his pending wedding. More than once he had wished for Elrond’s help; they had worked together for long years, and while his replacement Nendir was entirely competent, it was just not the same.
He had been too proud to ask, but he was not too proud to have felt relief when Elrond had arrived two days ago, and had - very politely, and very delicately - begun assisting Nendir with composing the letters of invitation. Elrond’s arms were laden with them now as he entered, a dozen neatly rolled scrolls that awaited the royal seal and Gil-galad’s signature.
“High King.”
“Lord Elrond.” 
Elrond stepped over to the desk, beginning to set down the scrolls and arrange them. Linnea and Adabes had dealt with the list of recipients, and he was glad to see that it had not expanded since the last time he had seen it. That thought of privacy pushed at his thoughts again; it was not too late for him to toss Elrond’s efforts into the fire and go find Linnea and have it done with. 
But a royal wedding was more than just the bonding of two souls; it was an opportunity to renew friendships, plant seeds for the future, strengthen alliances. 
And perhaps, rebuild them as well.  
He glanced over the letters that Elrond had opened and set ready for him as he re-seated himself at the desk. Oropher and his family, yes; Amdír and Amroth of Lórien; various other lords and high Noldor that were already well aware of the wedding, but the formal invitation still had to be sent. And drafts of the proclamations that would be issued throughout Lindon and carried to Imladris as well, Linnea’s coronation at the Tree that was open to all.
He smiled at that last page, and Elrond saw it. “There will be a great party of the survivors that come from Imladris, High King,” he murmured. “Lady Linnea is one of their own.”
“I trust you have informed Adabes of their number?”
“I have. The arrangements are all well in hand.”  
“Good.”
He calmly reached for his quill, betraying no hint of his plans, and began to sign the pages. Elrond fell into their old rhythm quickly; no sooner had he finished with the quill than Elrond was ready with the hot wax, and he pressed his seal to stamp it. Easy and familiar; it would come with time, with Nendir, but the resumption of routine, even for a few moments, was peaceful.
Unfortunately, he was about to shatter that peace.
Gil-galad sealed the last of the announcements, and set the brass seal off to the side. “I have another task for you.”
“Of course, High King.” Elrond’s attention was on organizing the finished pages; his tone was distracted. “I am, as ever, at your service.”
Gil-galad had written it himself. He had thought long and hard over the matter, and he knew it wouldn’t even be considered a slight if he didn’t; they could simply send an announcement after the fact and have done with it. There would hardly be any expectation otherwise.
In the end, as he suspected he would do so often in the years to come, he had asked Linnea what she thought.
A wedding is a time for joy, she had said, as they had shared their evening tea. Let that joy be the mortar that fills the cracks between Elf and Dwarf, and the water that smothers any fires that yet burn.
He took the letter, and passed it to Elrond silently. And it only took the former herald one glace to understand.
“ ‘Esteemed Prince Durin,’ “ he said quietly, his eyes flicking across the top of the page. “High King, I - “
Gil-galad held up a hand. They had spoken little of the late arrival of the Dwarves to Eregion; it had not been a subject that they needed to discuss at length. And apart from sending a polite acknowledgment of their help, and thanks for the offer of further aid, there had been scant correspondence between the realms since the siege.  
But they would need every ally in the fight to come. 
“You will deliver it personally,” he said, keeping his voice firm. “We must begin to mend this rift between our two peoples. What has transpired is past. Your friendship with Prince Durin may be the key to unlocking the power of the Dwarves against our enemy, and you know as well as I that it will be needed.”
“High King,” Elrond said again. And this time there was heat beneath his voice, the coals of betrayal that had not yet burned low. “We placed our faith in Durin once. Our dead might have been fewer in number had he held to his word. It is a fool who stores his jewels in the same casket they have already fallen from.” 
“And yet, the Dwarves have reason to mistrust us as well,” Gil-galad said quietly. “They bear the consequences of our lack of sight, of Celebrimbor’s pride in allowing Sauron’s influence over his craft. The Dwarven rings cost them dearly, as Durin himself knows full well. There are wrongs on both sides, and someone must be the first to extend a hand.”
Elrond stared down at the letter in his hand. “A mighty hand indeed, to invite the Prince of Khazad-dûm to the High King of the Noldor’s wedding.”
“Khazad-dûm still roils with unrest. None of the factions competing for the throne after King Durin’s passing shows any signs of triumph. This may be our chance to tip the scales. Our public acknowledgment of his claim - to the exclusion of all others - sends a message.” 
Elrond looked thoughtful. “Some of the lords may count it as much curse as blessing. They may withhold their support of Durin knowing he allies with us.”
“You speak truly, but Durin did come to our aid at Eregion. Those who would deny him their backing will have already done so. And those who are swayed by power will see that Durin has our confidence.” 
Elrond licked his lips, glancing down at the page again. And what he said next proved just how far he had come, in so short a time.
“Does the lady Linnea approve of this?”
He almost chuckled at Elrond’s implication. It was possible that there would be times to come when he would have to overrule her wishes for the sake of the realm, but he would never have considered it for this. If she had objected to the Dwarves being invited to their wedding, he would have found another way.
“My lady bears no grudge,” Gil-galad said. “And if she does not, we have no grounds for it.”
Elrond winced. It was true that what he had said was an oversimplification, but the underlying principle was clear. Elrond had not been wrong when he had said the Dwarves might have stemmed their own losses - but that also held true for the brave defenders of Eregion. Linnea would have had more reason than most to object, and she had not.
The thought seemed to take the wind from Elrond’s sails. His shoulders relaxed, and he looked down at the letter for a moment more before he began slowly rolling it. 
“As you command, High King. I will depart immediately for Khazad-dûm.”
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“Oh, Eressie.”
The dressmaker smiled, casting her eyes shyly down at the floor. For her part, all that Linnea could do was stare, letting her eyes drink in the beautiful sight.
It had taken her weeks to decide on the fabric, but Eressie hadn’t wasted the time. By the time she had finally found it - a heavy cream silk shot with gold and copper, almost as if it were lit from within - the design had been complete, and Eressie had taken her scissors and needle to the stunning fabric with more bravery than Linnea herself would have shown. 
And this was the result.
The neckline of the dress draped softly around Linnea’s chest, revealing the soft swells of her breasts above a corset that covered from breast to hip and laced in the back. The skirts fell from beneath the bottom of the corset, layers upon layers of the heavy silk, lapped one over the other like the petals of a rose. Tight undersleeves, made of pale gold silk, were fitted beneath longer, fuller sleeves of the cream. The edges of the neckline were embroidered with golden leaves and accented with pearls, as were the cuffs of the undersleeves and a band of the oversleeves around her upper arms. More leaves were embroidered here and there on the layers of the skirt - giving the impression that they had been captured in mid-flight, falling from their tree.    
It was beautiful. It was incredible. It was perfect.
She had almost been afraid to touch it. But she knew Eressie needed to see it on her one last time, to make any final alterations. The wedding was in two more weeks, and knowing that the dress was done would be one thing off the list that she needed to think about.
Two weeks. Two weeks. Two weeks. Two weeks.
“My lady? Will you step up, so that I may check the hem?”
This had been the very reason for her visit; her shoes were finished, retrieved just that morning from the cobbler. She moved to the wooden dais that Eressie had set up for just this purpose, and stood still as the seamstress knelt and fussed with the edge of the dress.
She wondered what Gil-galad would be wearing.
He would look stunning, whatever it was. But he had adamantly refused to tell or allow her to see any bit of it. The only hint that she’d gotten was when he had asked what color her dress was, and had looked immensely smug when she had shown him a small sample of the fabric. But he wanted to surprise her, and so she had followed his lead, making that glimpse of color the only clue he got in return.
Eressie finished with the hem and sat back on her heels, smiling up at Linnea. “I need do no more, my lady. Your dress is finished. And I shall have your nightclothes completed within the week.”
Nightclothes. Yes. She slept in silk and satin now, not the soft cotton and linen she had always known, but for this night she had wanted something even more special. She would only have one wedding night in her entire long life, and so would Ereinion. He deserved for her to come to his bed as beautiful as she could make herself.
Her heart quickened, thinking about it. Thinking about the wisp of a gown that Eressie was finishing, about how Ereinion’s hands would look on the soft white fabric. 
And how they would feel once that fabric had been removed.  
But she kept her composure, stepping down and turning so that Eressie could unlace the back of the dress, and then quickly changing out of it and back into her regular gown. She handed the wedding dress to Eressie, who swathed it carefully in a long strip of pure white wool to protect and conceal it.
She was just finishing when there was a soft thud from the back of the shop, and a small blond boy came hurrying out.
“Mother?”
Eressie’s son was still very young by the standards of their people - and every time she saw him, Linnea’s heart ached just a little, knowing how difficult it must be to grow up without his father. But the child seemed to be doing well, if a trifle shy, although perhaps that was simply his nature. Eressie herself was such.
The boy saw her and instantly halted, bowing. “Your Grace,” he said, very politely. “Mother.”
“Negen,” Linnea greeted him, smiling. “I am pleased to see you. You look well.”
“Thank you, Your Grace.”
Eressie looked nervous at the interruption; she had become more comfortable with Linnea over the last months, but she was still finding her way around the propriety that had been drilled into her for interacting with the nobility. “Negen? Is aught amiss?”
“No, Mother. But I have finished my reading for the day. May I have some fruit?”
Eressie let out a small breath of relief. “Yes. Yes, of course you may. You know where it is.”
“Thank you, Mother.”
Negen turned and departed the way he had come, through the door in the back of the shop that led to their living quarters. The sight made Linnea’s heart ache in a different way; their weaving shop in Eregion had been built in a very similar manner, and it felt as if she herself could walk through that door and be in their little kitchen, with her mother washing vegetables over a basin and her father tending the fire - 
“My lady?”
Linnea shook her head, pushing the thoughts back. And it was not for the first time.
The memories of home and family had lingered close over the last weeks, and they had prickled at her mind like thornbushes that she was gingerly trying to find her way through. Every so often, she was scratched.
“I am sorry,” she said quietly. “It is just - being here reminds me so much of home. I was distracted for a moment. You are fortunate in your child; Negen is a fine boy.”
Eressie dipped her head in a small bow. “Thank you, my lady. He - he has dreams of being a soldier like his father.” 
Oh, she could not imagine how that must feel for Eressie, to have her son’s ambitions lie in the same direction that had been his father’s downfall. Linnea swallowed hard, past the tightness in her throat, and tried to think of something to say.
“I am sure that whatever path he walks, he will succeed,” she managed, and was proud that her voice stayed even. Another sign that she was learning how to be a queen.
She was saved from having to find more words by a soft tap on the shop door. A moment later, it opened, and Hellathas leaned inside.
“Lady Linnea,” she said quietly. “The light begins to fade. We should return to court as soon as you are ready.”
That had been another change over the last weeks. 
Work was still ongoing to bolster Lindon’s defenses, and with the army so reduced, Gil-galad had issued orders that only the most necessary activities were to be pursued after sunset. The streets were now quiet in the darkness, the only steps to be heard those of patrolling soldiers. It had lent itself to an aura of caution and agitation among the inhabitants, but Linnea could not fault his reasoning; it would be much easier to identify intruders this way. 
Lindon itself breached. The thought was scarcely conceivable, but it was Gil-galad’s role to do just that, to consider every possibility and plan accordingly.
Their role.   
She nodded at Hellathas. “Thank you. I will be with you directly.”
Hellathas stepped back and closed the door, and Linnea turned to Eressie. The momentary distraction had helped her settle herself, and she was able to smile fully at the seamstress.
“I will return in a few days for the nightclothes,” she promised. “As always, your work is beyond compare.”
Eressie blushed, dropping her green eyes to the floor even as she dropped herself into a curtsy. “You are too kind, Your Grace.”
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Adabes was lying in wait when Linnea returned.
She had tried to establish that when she was out, Adabes was welcome to enter her rooms and wait for her if there was need. But Adabes hadn't gotten quite that far yet; she stood outside the door, holding her writing desk, as poised as she always was.
“My lady,” she said, as Linnea stopped at the landing. “The King is still in session with the council. Do you wish to dine before we review the wedding ceremony?”
Inwardly, she sighed. She had been hoping for a quiet dinner with Gil-galad, but council meetings had been extending longer and longer as of late. He would not expect, or want, her to wait.
“Have you eaten, Adabes?” she asked. “You are welcome to join me, and we can converse at the same time.”
“I have eaten, thank you. But you need not delay on my account, Your Grace. I am happy to wait until you have refreshed yourself.”
Linnea shook her head; that simply felt rude to her, and like an abuse of her position. “No, please come in. We can talk first. I am anxious to hear about the ceremony.”
Adabes stood aside then, and Linnea opened the door to her rooms. 
She had added a few furnishings since her arrival in Lindon. Although she had been fairly sequestered, still acclimating herself to all of the change, some of the ladies of the court had taken it upon themselves to seek her out. She had added more seating in her front room as a result, and also a small frame loom in the corner. The looms in the weaving room were much larger and more suitable for bigger projects, but this one would accommodate scarves or shawls or similar things. She was weaving one such now, in fact - a gift for Adabes, a silk shawl in a pattern of deep gold and pale green. It had made her smile when Adabes had admired the colors, and she was looking forward to the surprise. 
One rather nice thing about being the future queen was that her needs were always anticipated. Even though she had been absent from court for several hours, someone had come and lit the lanterns and candles, and had built and lit the fire. The rooms were toasty warm, and Linnea settled down on one of the chairs by the hearth, motioning to Adabes to sit as well.
She had been eager for this discussion, an outline of what the actual ceremony would entail. She had of course attended weddings before, but that was quite different than it being her own. And she was anxious to ensure that there were no traditions she needed to be aware of, things that the Noldor did but that the Sindar did not.
Adabes positioned her writing desk just as she liked it, across her knees, and took out her quill.
“The ceremony itself is quite short,” she began. “As neither you nor the High King have living parents, you will invoke the blessings yourselves. There is no traditional point at which to carry out the ritual, but I would suggest waiting until the end of the feast, and then proceeding directly to the coronation.”
Linnea nodded. She had learned very quickly that any suggestion Adabes made was well-considered and had ample reason behind it, and the logistics of what she was saying were sensible. “I agree. Are there - that is, the blessings I know are traditional for the Sindar. But are there different words used by the High Noldor?”
“Not to my knowledge, my lady. Obviously there will be some slight alterations, as you will say the words yourselves, but they are no different in essence. The King will say, ‘May Manwë Lord of Wind watch over us’, and you will say, ‘May Varda Star-kindler hear our calls.’ And each will end with, ‘And may the - " Adabes paused, clearing her throat. “ - the Father of All bless us.”
Linnea understood the slight pause. It was no light thing, to invoke the name of Eru Ilúvatar; that would wait until that very moment when she and Ereinion were holding one another’s hands, the blessings hovering between them, one of the silken threads that bound them together for the rest of eternity.
She tried not to think about how that call to Varda and to Eru would sound from her own lips, and not her mother’s.
Lhénes had had a low, quiet voice. Perhaps it would have rasped slightly as she spoke, as she held back tears of joy at seeing her daughter wed so well. Being queen would not have mattered to her, but the knowledge that Linnea had found love, that her true soulmate had been out there - that would have pleased her greatly.
More of those thornbushes. She pushed them back, returning her attention to Adabes.
“Very well,” she said. “And the exchange of rings afterward?”
“Yes, Your Grace. The wedding bands have been commissioned from the smiths. You will return the King’s betrothal ring to him, and he yours.”      
Linnea smiled. She had a suspicion that the silver star would find its way back onto another of her fingers soon after the wedding; it was too beautiful to be set aside and kept in a casket. “It seems simple enough. I had feared the Noldor would have other traditions, especially for a wedding of this importance.”
Adabes hesitated.
It was an uncommon occurrence, and it made Linnea look at her more closely. Adabes was ruthlessly efficient; this was most uncharacteristic, and she wondered at the cause.
“Adabes?”
Efficiency won out, and Adabes gave a small sigh. “There is one thing, Your Grace. I am sure that it is of no consequence, given that you are Sindar and that your parents are no longer with us.”
Her stomach twisted. 
“And what is it?” 
“It is customary among the Noldor for gifts to be given to the bride and groom, by either their parents or another relative. The father of the groom to the bride, and the mother of the bride to the groom. A jewel that can be worn is the most traditional. But again, I am sure that no one will expect it. Certainly the King will not.”
He might not expect it, no. But had it been something he had hoped for? Would he feel any lingering sadness that the wedding had not been quite what he’d dreamt of? And the other Noldor lords - the conflict between Noldor and Sindar that went back thousands of years - would this validate some long-buried judgments, that she was not worthy of their High King if she could not manage so simple a thing?
She felt Adabes’ eyes on her and looked back up. “I see. I will consider that, thank you for telling me. Was there anything else?”
Adabes looked like she wanted to hide - which was, again, most unsettling. “No, my lady. Once the rings are exchanged, the public ceremony is finished and the coronation will begin.”
On another occasion, Linnea might have asked about that part as well. But she knew that she would need Gil-galad for that; he doubtlessly had plans, likely a speech to give - or more than one. There was ample reason to delay that discussion, even if she had been able to manage it at this moment.
Her mother Lhénes would never see the wedding dress she had tried on that day. She herself would speak the blessings that Lhénes should have. Lhénes would never choose a jewel for Ereinion, something he could wear to remind him of his wedding day; her long and elegant hands - so like Linnea’s own - would never give it into his keeping, much the same as her only child.
She took a deep breath, and couldn’t keep it smooth. Not with the memories crowding around her, not with the thornbushes drawing in so tight.
“Thank you,” she said again. “Then I believe that is all for tonight?”
To her vast, vast credit, Adabes seemed to sense that anything she might say - any apology or condolence - would only make things worse. Instead she quickly stowed her quill and rose, curtseying briefly, and murmured. “Yes, my lady. I shall see you in the morning. Goodnight, Your Grace.”
And she left.    
Linnea sat, her mind fixated on what Adabes had said, like a fish caught on one of the cruel hooks that Men used.
It is customary among the Noldor for gifts to be given to the bride and groom. A jewel that can be worn is the most traditional.
I am sure no one will expect it.
Well, they had not expected her, had they?
She rose then, her hands clenched into fists, striding over to the ironwood chest that sat next to the frame loom. Sinking to her knees, she flung the lid open and plunged her hands into the neatly folded fabrics that were stacked inside, scattering the dried lavender and rosemary that had been set to keep the moths away. She had traded three lengths of fine silk for Ereinion's ring, but much remained of what she had saved from Eregion.
The Noldor had enough jewels. Enough finery. But she could make Ereinion another gift; she was upending tradition anyway, with no female relative to perform the task. She might as well embrace it.
Her fingers dug deeper. She was barely aware of the tears that had started to fall, dripping down and landing on the floor beside the chest as she touched the cloth. Each one held memories; her hands had woven parts of many of them, the work of her mother and her father and herself all intertwined. Impossible to tell who had done what anymore. 
But this - 
She pulled out the object of her search. 
The fabric was deep brown, a blend of wool and silk. Lhénes had finished it not long before the siege; it was one of the most versatile fabrics she had ever created, woven both for warmth and for lightness. And Lhénes had employed every aspect of her craft - not only was the fabric itself a marvel, but she had laid protective charms over the threads. It would offer concealment to the wearer, and would turn a blade or an arrow that was not crafted by skilled hands.
Linnea had helped her warp the loom when she had begun.
We oft know what our work’s purpose will ultimately be, Lhénes had said, as they had threaded the heddles together. The threads speak to us of a gown, or a wall hanging, or some such. Yet this I do not see, only that it wishes to be made.    
Not a gown, no. Not a wall hanging. Not a blanket or a robe or a table covering.
Her hands could wield a needle, not as skillfully as Eressie but enough for this. There was time enough to complete the task. She would finish what her mother had started, and this would be her gift at the wedding. 
A war-cloak for a King. 
She hoped Lhénes would have approved. 
But that dam that she had sensed when first she had arrived in Lindon - the dam that she had known would eventually burst - it finally broke, as she held the fabric and felt Lhénes’ love woven into it, her care and concern and the magics she had employed, the magics that would ultimately protect her daughter’s husband and the father of her grandchildren. The bolt of brown wool dropped into her lap and Linnea collapsed, a sob tearing from her as she fell forward onto and into the chest, clinging to it like a raft in the middle of the sea. 
There had been no time. Grief had been pushed aside, but it would have its due.
She didn’t know how long she cried, her tears salting the wood of the chest and the fabrics within. The entire tower might have fallen down around her and she wouldn’t have noticed.
Melethel?     
The whisper caressed her ear, and Linnea looked up, her body still shaking. 
Her rooms were empty.
She leaned back down, resting her forehead on the edge of the chest, tears still running down her face and onto the floor.
But then, she heard the sound of footsteps approaching. And there was only one place they could be coming from, for them to be so clear. 
Gil-galad had just returned; that much was plain as he emerged from the stairs that led up to his rooms. He was still wearing the silver samite robe he preferred for council sessions, but the weariness that normally dragged at his handsome features after the meetings was nowhere to be found. Instead, his face was filled with concern as he saw her, and he hurriedly made his way across the room, dropping to kneel at her side and putting his arm around her in one unbroken movement.
“I felt you,” he said, with no preamble. “I felt your sadness, melethel. What has happened?”
She was not too proud to lean into his strength, letting him tighten his arm and draw her even closer into his chest. It felt so silly; she would see her parents again in Valinor someday, they would even be able to meet Gil-galad, although hopefully that day was long hence. 
She felt him run his hand over her curls. “Tell me, I beg you,” he whispered. “Whatever burdens you, it is mine to carry as well.”
That made the tears start flowing again. He had so many cares, especially now; the idea of adding to them was too overwhelming.
“I heard you,” she whispered instead. “I thought it was the wind or my own fancy. But I heard you…”
His hand was still stroking her hair. “I called out to you in my thoughts. But I did not expect you to hear - I did not think the ósanwe would be so strong so soon.”
He was right; she hadn’t even considered the idea. The ósanwe, the interchange of thought,  normally took time to develop between Elves - although perhaps it wasn’t so surprising. She knew enough to know that it was strengthened with affinity, with urgency, and with authority. She had no trouble believing that Gil-galad’s power as the High King was enough all on its own to reach across the forests of Eriador. And with love and worry backing it? She could likely hear him from Valinor itself.
The reminder of that love loosened her tongue, and she let herself speak.
“I have thought of my parents today, more than any other,” she murmured. “And when Adabes told me about the ceremony, about how we must change the words of the blessings…and the Noldor tradition of the gifts, and I knew that my mother could not do that for you, that that would be a part of our wedding that you would not experience, and…”
“Oh, melethel.” She hadn’t thought it was possible, but his arm tightened even more. “Think you I care for such things? I vowed to you that we could be wed in an instant if you desired it. I need only you.”
She nodded, her cheek rubbing against the softness of his robes. “I know it. But it seemed so important, with everything else. And I have no other to perform those offices. The other Noldor, they may find me unworthy…I am alone, I bring no great House to ally with yours…”
Ereinion’s free hand worked itself between them and tipped her chin up.
“No one of any consequence would find you unworthy,” he said firmly. “There is none in Arda that I would have at my side, save you. There is none other I would have as queen; there is none other I would have as the mother of my children. I regret only that I will not know your parents, and that my parents will not know you. I would have taken joy in their knowing how fortunate I have become. But someday they will know, and until then, I need only you.”
He always knew what to say. Doubtlessly it was a skill he had built over the long centuries as King; his rule had been, for the most part, peaceful, and he had more often wielded diplomacy in lieu of blade. And he was speaking true; she could feel that. None of it mattered to him. Their wedding would not disappoint, no matter how it took shape. 
“I wish they could have known you, meleth nín,” she whispered. “They would have liked you.”       
She felt his lips gently press against her forehead. “It means much to me, that you speak so. That they would have found me worthy of you.”
That made her laugh - a small chuckle at least, punctuated with hiccups, but it was a laugh. It would be a rare thing indeed that he was unworthy of. At the sound, she felt Ereinion relax as she leaned against him, relieved that she was starting to recover herself.
“Come,” he murmured. “I would guess you have taken no food yet this evening, and I have not done so either. Let us go see to that. And afterward, you need not return here. Not this night.”
She jolted backward, staring at him. She understood immediately what he was offering, and it was tempting, so tempting, but -
“The guards,” she said, her voice catching. “They will know. And the servants - it is still two more weeks until the wedding, we should not - "
“Shhh,” he whispered. “Hush. Often the crown is more prison than privilege, binding us to tradition and obligation. Yet with it comes the power to disregard those things on certain occasions. And in my mind and my heart, you are as much my wife as if we had been married a century ago, and had lain together a thousand times since then.” He smiled, gently caressing her still-damp cheek. “And I would be a poor husband indeed if I left you to be alone in your grief. Stay with me tonight, melethel. Rest in my arms. Let me ease your pain as much as I am able.”
Any argument she had had crumbled in the face of that. 
And besides, she had been in Lindon for months. Since the day she'd arrived, her rooms had been directly beneath his, connected by the private staircase. If anyone were going to talk, it would have happened already. And their kind knew when another was wed; it was in the eyes, the voice, unmistakable. As much as she and Ereinion were already bound together, it would be obvious to anyone who looked that their union had not been consummated yet, regardless of where she had spent her night. 
And so she nodded, and he got to his feet and then helped her up. 
“I will summon your attendants,” he murmured. “And I will tell the guards. All you need do is come to me when you are ready.”
He wasn't being the King, not at that moment, but it was simply part of his nature to take charge when it was needful. She was grateful for it, and more; she knew it helped him, feeling like he was doing something about her hurt besides just being there. 
He brushed a kiss over her lips and then turned, moving purposefully towards the door as she seated herself at her dressing table. She heard the door open, heard the brief instructions he issued with absolute certainty and not a care in the world.
The queen will remain above tonight. Fetch her attendants.
The door closed, and she heard his steps coming back to her, pausing in the doorway. In the mirror she could see him, his eyes still full of concern for her, making him somehow even more beautiful.
“Gi melin,” he murmured. “I will await you.”
Continue to Part 9 - WARNING, SMUT AHEAD!
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