#for like EXACTLY the reason that I like him lmfao. its just frustrating honestly

[illithiddies]

on some level im definitely a little resentful that I can't enjoy astarion in wider casual spaces without it being labeled as some sort of "oh you're one of those astarion girlies obsessed with that fuckable twink" thing, like it's the shallowest preference i could possibly have

and it's such a frustrating mindset especially considering the whole reason I ended up identifying with him so much is because of the way his character arc addressed the concept of being seen as desirable after a traumatic event, and finding comfort in actually reclaiming that for yourself. And how seeking and enjoying sex and feeling sexually confident doesn't cheapen or invalidate what happened to you, and can actually be very healing

But I just hate how that always gets broken down into something insulting and derogatory by the kind of ppl you'll see on twitter or reddit or irl

[blorbosexterminator]

Sergio's not gonna die, he is needed for a possible re-opening of the show. Palermo is too obvious (and that matters to pina), Raquel was already fake-killed. OTOH, Denver: has a lot more protagonism this season, with flashback and all, he is a universally beloved character (always a good candidate to kill), Jaime Lorente has been seen in some town with pedro and alba filming (prob flashback but why with those 2?). 90% sure he's the dead (if anyone).

Honestly, the only thing that would truly surprise me at this point if they indeed don't kill anyone next volume. Would be a move™, I'll give them that. But yes, I do think that they'll go with Denver too, and it has been foreshadowed to be honest. Doesn't change how much I dislike and genuinely disagree with that choice though. I don't think the actor would be up for a spin-off honestly, but anyway Sergio only has the element of surprise and the parallel with his father (the show is too fond of parallels lmfao) not much else to make his death a good choice.

And as you said, Palermo is predictable. And I imagine, with how politically aware™ the show is this season, they might also try to avoid the 'bury your gays' trope.

The thing is, most of what you and I just listed are just meta-textual reasons. I'm not saying those reasons have no place at all when considering writing choices, of course not, but I do disapprove, generally speaking, of writers taking this too much into account when writing their finales.

Sergio would be shocking to a more extent than the others, but that doesn't make him any more a good choice. Denver would guarantee as much of an angry and frustrated reaction as Nairobi (Although I honestly don't dislike Nairobi's death as much as everyone else. I thought it was well-played to an extent) and would have a strong emotional response plus parallels with Moscu, but to me it would be very misplayed.

I wasn't really talking about what I expect from the show as much as what I personally believe is a good writing choice. I most expect Denver to die, but I think Palermo is the most fitting choice.

Like sure, those things are subjective, and they change from one fan to the other as well as from one writer to the other. But just because the death of a character is predictable doesn't mean it's not the most fitting choice for the situation. Not really, I think it means the audience sees something there.

Look, before anyone starts assuming I just *want* Martín to die to see some afterlife scene for my ship, or even a parallel. Yeah, sure, preferablly as a fan of them I'd love this, but I don't think they are in any way necessar. To me, they would just be peppering that would make the death scene nicer stylistically speaking. I don't even think the show canonized the after-life or something of the sort, again I just think they are a mere stylistic choice. I wouldn't be at all actually bothered if we got nothing of the sort.

I just wholly believe the best choice to go with for both textual and meta-textual reasons is Palermo. First, the meta-textual ones, despite the fact that I disapprove of how they got there, I have to admit that the show managed to get him to be more likable this season. General audiences that have previously hated the hell out of him like him enough now. But at the same time Martín is still not Sergio, Raquel, or Denver. His death would cause some sadness and emotional response in the audience but not literal rage and feeling of betrayel, like say for example how GOT fans felt. Also, Martín now has enough alive characters that care about him that would make his death sad. It's unlikely an audience would give a shit about a character's death if none of the surrounding characters do. But now there is Helsinki, who incidentally Martín is also much nicer and caring towards this season, so Helsi would have "good reasons" to react strongly to his death, Sergio supposedly also cares for Martín, and we can say Raquel respects him. So the characters around him wouldn't be indifferent, especially if his death has value in the narrative, say an actual sacrifice for the rest of them. The show itself is VERY fond of the sort of arc that goes along the line 'Selfish character who caused harm and pain to all around them reaches selfishness and then sacrifices their life for the sake of the others.' It happened with Berlin, it happened with Tokyo. And it seems is effective enough. So if I were the writer and wanted a death that is effective but won't anger audience too much, I'd 100% go with him.

And again, a point is Martín even has something that neither Tokyo nor Andrés did, he had a very direct hand in the killing of a very beloved team member. Sure, you can say Tokyo had a hand in what happened to Moscu, but Tokyo legitimately had very little choice because she couldn't find Sergio and she had no intention to do harm, she didn't know her entrance would literally cost the man's life. Martín knew very, very well what Gandia was capable of and this is exactly why he did what he did.

Martín is narratively still responsible for Nairobi's death and took no hand in even avenging her from Gandia. That was Bogota and then Tokyo. And the character seems to be weighted by that guilt to a large extent. And I think the absolute best way for the narrative to resolve this point is by Martín dying directly to save Helsinki, who the show also made a point of also incapacitating, and I'd imagine that would have repercussions on how efficient getting out of the bank would be on him. Characters rarely get injured just for the sake of it, Nairobi's terrible injury from Alicia made her much more susceptible to Gandia, who had a huge leverage on her as she was physically incapable of resisting anything. (I imagine Monica's situation would also have repercussions--hopefully just not on Denver lmfao)

So despite generally not being a fan at all of the pairing in any way or form, and how they generally make no sense to me, with how the show is going now it's definitely best for Martín to die partially for his plan and partially for Helsinki.

Like ideally, what I'd personally most love to see and what I'd personally write a 2573 different fic versions of, is for Martín to die for his plan and for Sergio. I personally believe outside of the plan, Martín's most important relationship in his arc is with Sergio. But the show already ignored their relationship enough this volume as a first and Sergio already got the strong death scenes with Berlin and Tokyo as a second, it could be seen as an excess. But with Helsinki it's meaningful on a different level. The character Nairobi cared about the most is Helsinki (and he's also nearly as well-liked by the audience), so this would balance what he did to Nairobi in a pretty significant way, not completely out-do it, but the two acts would definitely balance each other. To both the audience and to the characters, Martín would be truly "redeemed." Which despite how much I dislike, and genuinely don't agree with it, the show is already putting a lot of focus on his 'redemption'. I don't like redemption arcs generally speaking, I don't think Martín is fit for it, and I don't think it's happening in an organic way at all, and I frankly believe it made him boring, but alas, it is what is is, the show is already half-way there, it already took that route, so the only end for it is to finish it and go all the way. It would be very useless if he ended up surviving lmfao.

And of course the other reason is for Martín's personal arc. The plan is his life's work, the thing he showed most loyality and love to from the moment he showed up 2 seasons ago, the end of his arc is with the end of his plan. Never mind how A LOT of scenes would be useless if Martín doesn't actually die for the success of the plan; the whole reason Sergio opposed it so strongly is because, in his own words, it was completely suicidal. Sure, you can say that they already proved the plan is dangerous by the army going in and all of this "war", but there was no Rio, Raquel, Plan Paris or Plan Roman in the original plan, so there would have been no reason for things to go that bad in that respect, all that happened in volume one is by direct consquence of the plan changing, so that still leaves the question why was Berlin and Palermo's plan so wrong and so suicidal if we don't take into account this war? If there is no answer and if there is no answer that is actually anchored by a death in canon, then those were really all just empty scenes. And of course it's Martín, the mastermind and engineer, the artist who crafted this poem, that has to die for its completion and overall success. Since day one, his arc has been tied intimately to this plan, we barely even know anything about him beyond it. And like, three people died for the mint heist and it was a plan made to work perfectly without a single flaw, where does this put a heist that was just full of romanticism and complete focus on the gold with disregard to the people? All of the scenes we saw of Sergio rejecting the bank heist in the flashbacks on that basis have to mean something now.

Against all of this, what does Denver have? What will his death signify? Nothing, in my opinion. The man didn't even want to be there. Also I guarantee you, if he does die for Monica the way he said, every single fan will turn against her and the hate the character will receive will be insane. Like why end the story of those two characters this way? What is there beyond edginess and grimness for their own sake?

Martín's death, even if it causes sadness, will be satisfying for his character. Besides, Martín as a character is too much like Tokyo, I don't imagine he himself would be very satisfied growing old and dying under the radar somewhere; going with a blaze now, sealing off his life's work and having his death mean something too is a much, much more satisfying ending for him.

Tldr; Palermo in a very balanced position to kill, especially that he is currently the actual leader, a position the show has given him with more space and better, much nicer spotlight now than in the third season. And I imagine with volume two focused more on extracting the gold, his role will get only bigger in that respect. He's still responsible for Nairobi's death. And he should 100% die for the Gold and the completion of his plan.

[hellimagines]

Fake Characters -- Patrick Hockstetter

*My masterlist link can be found in my blog description*

Request: "Patrick headcanons for him having a girlfriend who's really preppy and innocent until he finds out one night how demented she actually is and she's actually crazier than him and his heart Z O O M S" - @saea

Summary: Patrick gets assigned to a project with you, and slowly finds himself trying to pick you apart.

Warnings: explicit drug use (cocaine), light sexual themes, blood, violence, and lowkey murder

Pairing: Patrick Hockstetter x fem!reader

Word Count: 5,700+

A/N: I'm sorry this is so late, but honestly, are we surprised? Anyways, this isn't how I usually write things, it's a really long imagine rather than HC's, and it doesn't follow the request entirely (sorry lmao). Also, we don't do Consistent Tenses in This House and we're not gonna talk about the ending. Enjoy lmfao

Patrick Hockstetter didn't care much for you or your 'type'. He, as well as the rest of the Bowers Gang, had a tendency to steer clear of the preps and the populars: too much attention and too much hassle in the long run. He liked the girls (and the occasional boy) who were quiet, kept to themselves, and wouldn't be noticed if something were to... go wrong. So, when Patrick decided to randomly show up for his AP Lit class one day (a class he didn't belong in but was in anyway), he instantly regretted it. — Only a few seconds into class and the teacher had already set his demeaning eyes upon Patrick, an eyebrow arched in distaste. "So glad you decided to show, Mr. Hockstetter," he says, walking to stand in front of Patrick's desk. "Today's the beginning of our new read, and we'll be doing the project in pairs."

Patrick doesn't care at first, he figures he'll be stuck with one of the nerds in the front, trembling in their seats with sweat dripping from their forehead. He typically manages to scare them into doing the work for him if the project that's being assigned doesn't interest him.

"Mr. Hockstetter, you'll be working alongside Ms. (Y/L/N) for this project."

Patrick wants to slit the teacher's throat then and there. He knows he can't get away with threatening you to do all the work; you have too many friends and too many allies willing to make his life difficult if he fucks you over. It's only when you saunter up to him, slamming a copy of The Odyssey onto his desk (Patrick swears he chokes on the dust), does he really know he's fucked.

Despite your harsh actions, you're staring down at him with a gentle, yet anxious, gaze. "My parents are gonna be at a banquet tonight. So, we'll start on the project at my house, five o'clock. Don't be late, Hockstetter- I'm not doing this on my own," you sigh, nervously tugging at the bottom of your sweater (nervous of him or the thought of doing the project on your own, Patrick isn't sure).

"Yeah, whatever." Is all he offers you before he's snatching the book off his desk and leaving the classroom, the teacher shouting loudly behind him as he goes. — When Henry finds out Patrick is going to be spending the majority of the month in class and alongside you, he isn't happy about it. Before Patrick can even begin to justify his reasoning or explain that he'd still be around, the ash-blond git is tackling him to the ground. Patrick's unlit cigarette flies out of his hand as he's slammed to the asphalt, but he doesn't have time to grieve its loss. Henry instantly begins to pummel away at his back, trying to smash Patrick's face into the street beneath him, effectively tearing up the taller boy's face, arms, and upper body. Patrick lays there, complacent, for a few seconds, before violently jerking his body and throwing Henry off of him. Vic and Belch stand beside Amy, watching with worried eyes as the dominant teens fight out their frustrations. It takes a while, but soon enough their fists are bruised and their mouths are bloody, both of them kneeling over as they gasp for breath.

"I'll still be around you winy piece of shit. I've just gotta handle this crap."

"Fuck you." — Patrick shows up at your house at exactly 5 o'clock, blood staining his shirt, and a cigarette hanging from his busted lip. His face is destroyed, to say the least: covered in scratches, bruises, and dry blood. The rest of him doesn't look any better.

You squint at him, "Please don't get blood on my carpet." Before leading him to your room, refusing to ask any questions or offer any medical attention. He's not your problem.

Patrick is only slightly suspicious that you don't question his injuries or tell him to put out the cigarette, but he shrugs it off and obediently follows you to your room. Your house is large and sparkling clean- the kind of clean that makes it seem unlived in, and Patrick feels wrong calling it a 'home'. But once he gets to your room, he can only shake his head with a quiet chuckle at the sudden contrast- your room is clearly not like the rest of the house. Patrick shuts the door behind him and lets his backpack thud to the ground, before turning to find you unexpectedly holding out a dish to him. It's stained grey due to all the ash inside and is littered with used cigarette buds. Patrick raises an eyebrow but accepts it without question, slumping himself into your desk chair while you sit on your bed.

You instantly begin digging around in your backpack for the materials needed for the project, and Patrick takes the chance to look around and further judge your room. Crystal-white Christmas lights are hanging up, bordering your ceiling and illuminating the room in bright, unnatural light. You have pictures of your friends, family vacations, cheer meets, and other mindless things scattered along your walls. Posters of people Patrick doesn't recognize are pinned in random areas as if you didn't care where they were placed. Your bed is made and void of any debris (probably the only thing that resembles the rest of the house) but your floor is scattered with clothes, school books, pencils, and a water bottle here and there. Patrick isn't surprised to find your room has character, but he doesn't entirely believe it's your character being shown.

"How long are you planning on staying?" you ask, causing Patrick's eyes to zip back to you and away from his surroundings. You're staring at him with attentive (e/c) eyes, waiting for an answer as you tap your fingers against the books in your lap.

"Dunno. 'Til you kick me out 'suppose," he shrugs, leaning back into the chair with a bored expression. He'd forgotten all about his cigarette during his wonder-filled daze, so he takes a long drag after speaking- not missing the way your eyes linger on the filter caught between his lips.

Your voice is soft, "Won't your parents want you home?"

Patrick's smirking now, "Nah. Didn't come home for a few weeks once and they didn't blink an eye when I finally walked in the door lookin' like the personification of Hell."

"Where'd you go?"

"Sewers."

You seem to take the hint and drop the conversation, rolling your eyes at his bluntness while tossing your backpack to the side. "My parents won't be home until tomorrow. You can stay if you want."

"You askin' me to sleep with you, babe?" Patrick takes immense satisfaction in the way your cheeks flush and your eyebrows furrow, your mouth gaping for a retort.

The books in your lap nearly slide to the floor due to your sputtering. "No! I'm trying to be friendly!" you shout, incredulously.

Patrick shakes his head and flicks his cigarette against the ashtray. "Don't need a friend. I need to get this fucking project done so Henry gets off my damn ass." He takes another long drag after that, eyeing you over the orange glow of his cigarette as his fingers subconsciously run along a cut on his jaw.

Your eyes scan over his injuries once more, as something seems to click inside your head. "Just because Bowers doesn't care 'bout school doesn't mean you have to follow."

Patricks scoffs on his exhale, narrowing his eyes when you don't move away from the smoke. "Don't need a therapist either, babe." He's met with an eye roll, but you leave the conversation alone. Patricks likes the way you don't prod at things that he clearly doesn't want being picked at. You begin to explain the details of the project that Patrick had missed after he had left class, your voice free of scorn or annoyance. He doesn't know what your angle is yet, but he feels like you should be yelling at him by now. Instead, your voice is almost... understanding.

"Mr. Higgins said it's due March 14th. So... about six weeks. Plenty of time," you finish, handing him the paper with all the rules, materials, and extra crap for the project. Reading the book, analyzing it, putting together a poster (and stealing the materials), working out a presentation, plus all the in-class work wasn't gonna be as quick as he hoped. He had to work at the same pace as the class, which was something that made his jaw tense and his fingers squeeze the cigarette to the point it almost broke. Henry was gonna kick his ass. Again.

"I don't wanna waste six weeks on this crap. I can get it done in four- on my own," he growls, taking a quick puff of the cigarette before angrily putting it out (he didn't need it accidentally dropping on your carpet from his anger).

"That's not how projects work, Hockstetter," you sigh, voice annoyingly patient. "I can get it done that quick, too. But then we'd be bored the remaining three weeks. A handful of coked-out all-nighters isn't worth that. Besides, we have the work to do in class, and if we read ahead or any of that, it'll mess shit up."

Patrick practically perks up like a dog. "You use?"

Your breath hitches and your eyes widen. "What? No, what makes you say that?" You speak too quickly and once again, your hands are fumbling with your sweater. A nervous habit, Patrick notices.

"Firstly, babe, you're a terrible liar. I never said what you use. Secondly, people wouldn't say a 'coked-out all-nighter'. A simple 'all-nighter', or some caffeine related shit would've done the trick," he smirks, leaning forward to stare you down. He had known there was something about you the second you had opened the front door, and now he had you trapped, ready to find out everything.   "It's just a saying, I didn't mean anything by it," you stumble, (e/c) eyes searching his murky ones in a panic.

Patrick shakes his head in false pitty. "Relax. I'm not gonna tell anyone," he scoffs, leaning back in your chair and kicking his boot-clad feet up onto your desk.

Your body slouches in relief and Patrick's smirk widens, watching as you busy yourself with handing him sheets of paper and a pen, trying to seem nonchalant. You weren't who you claimed to be, and Patrick was gonna figure out your real character. The universe was challenging him, and boy did he love a good challenge- especially a cute one. — As the week wore on, Patrick found himself spending more and more time at your house and beside you in class. You two were sometimes seen outside of class, but not often, silently agreeing to keep your two worlds separate. Patrick didn't want Henry baring down on you and being an ass, and you didn't want your clique scrutinizing and sticking their noses up at Patrick. Henry and the boys were getting bitchy about his absence, sure, but he had a job to do and he wasn't gonna let Bowers' profound jealousy fuck it up.

It was roughly a week and a half into the project when Patrick became tired of trying to manipulate and coax secrets out of you. You seemed immune to his words and his tricks, and after your last slip up you had become tight-lipped, refusing to see that satisfied smirk on Patrick's face again. So, becoming fed up with your soft words and nervous fiddling, he nabbed a hundred from his mom's wallet and had Belch drive him out to Augusta. He was going to get you to admit your imperfections no matter what it cost him (or his mom).

Your filthy rich parents are always gone because of work and socialite activities, leaving you home alone constantly, and to your own devices. Meaning, Patrick isn't suspicious anymore when you allow him to smoke inside your house or when you don't question his bloodied body being dragged through your doors. Today's no different.

After Patrick knocks on your front door, you lead him through your house, speaking nonsense to him about your day, despite Patrick's obvious disinterest (he's got other things on his mind). Once you've brought him to your room and he's shut the door, he can't hold back the wicked smirk from his face any longer. Patrick's quick to pull a cigarette from his pack and extend his arm, catching your attention, succeeding in shutting you up. He isn't stupid, he knows you smoke but have refrained from doing so around him (and others no doubt). But the way your eyes widen and a slight gasp leaves your mouth is priceless. It takes you a good 30 seconds of flicking your eyes back and forth, from him to the cig, before you're snatching it out of his hand with a shaky breath. You have it in your mouth without realizing what you've admitted to, but Patrick can tell you don't care as you furiously pat yourself down in search of a lighter.

"Here." Patrick snaps open a silver zippo, the flame flickering against the cigarette, as you instantly inhale, making sure it catches. Satisfied with himself, he kicks off his shoes and tosses his backpack on the bed before throwing himself beside it, getting comfortable. You stand in front of him, anxiously smoking, while looking anywhere but him.

"Why didn't you say anything?" you ask after a few minutes, the cigarette beginning to dwindle down between your fingers.

"Why'd you try and hide it?" Patrick shoots back, raising a challenging eyebrow.

"If anybody found out I smoked, I'd be kicked off the team. Everyone else does it, yeah, and the fucking captain does it, but I got on the team because the other chick... got in an accident. I can't risk anything." Your voice is shaking again, and now Patrick has another fucking secret to discover.

"An accident?" he asks, fingers twitching at your words while his eyes roam over your tense body. "Yes." Your answer is short and your eyes are narrowed, lip curled in an unconscious snarl. Patrick grins wickedly but says nothing more as you hastily put out the cigarette and collapse beside him on the bed.

He can't help himself, "What other secrets you hidin' from me, babe?" he hums, tugging on a strand of your hair, making you whimper in shock.

"Nothing, Hockstetter. Let's just get this project done," you growl, shoving his hand away from your silky hair.

'Nothing my ass', Patrick thinks, although proud of your sudden hostility.

The two of you work without incident for the next few hours, Patrick waiting patiently for his time to strike. He's sure he resembles a viper or a panther or a wolf or some other threatening animal ready to pounce, but you don't look the least bit threatened. You simply refocus his attention every few minutes, scold him when he's being an ass, and make sure things are getting done. He's getting tired and beginning to think his moment is never going to come; but when you yawn around 9:30, Patrick practically shouts in victory.

"Tired, babe?" he says, voice surprisingly smooth for the way his eyes light up and his fingers twitch.

"Not your babe," you hum, refusing to answer his question.

"You always could be." You answer with another yawn, turning your head so he can't see you proving his point. "Let's pull an all-nighter, hm? Just this once," Patrick knows it won't be just this once, "and then you can get your well-deserved break from me. We can get a few days, possibly a week, worth of shit done tonight, and you'll be free to be with your friends again."

The way you look at him, your lip tucked between your teeth and your eyes so soft, Patrick knows he has you before you do.

"What makes you think I wanna get rid of you, Hockstetter?" Or maybe you have him.

Patrick doesn't let his shock show though, and only shakes his head with a chuckle. "C'mon, babe. I'm constantly trailing blood in here, messin' up your sheets and your homework, and keepin' ya from your friends and your pretty little cheer uniform. I know that short skirt misses you almost as much as I miss it," he purrs, running the back of his knuckle over your cheekbone.

Patrick doesn't care about any of that stuff (save the skirt), and he knows you don't either. He sees the way you roll your eyes when you get phone call after phone call from your friends, begging you to hang out. The way you clench your fists when you hang up the phone, before turning and smiling at him brightly. He sees the way your eyes linger on his fresh cuts and bruises, and how you purposefully run your fingers over his damaged knuckles when handing him something. Your eyes and touches filled with longing. He knows you haven't washed your sheets in the week and a half he's been over, messing them up to piss you off. He knows they smell (reak) of him: cigarette smoke, blood, stolen cologne, and chaos. He knows how your cheer uniform is tossed carelessly in your room, not minding if it gets dirty or ruined, whereas you have a hidden leather jacket hanging up in your closet, void of any injury and no doubt in pristine condition.

You haven't told Patrick any of these things, but he knows.

You don't flinch away from his knuckle as it's run along your cheekbone, instead, you sigh softly, causing Patrick to smirk in victory. There's a war going on inside your head, he can tell, but as long as he wins, he doesn't care what you're thinking.

Finally, you nod, "Yeah, alright. I'll go grab some snacks and coffee-"

"Won't need that, babe."

It takes you a minute to process his interruption and it's meaning, but he grins once it hits you. "Patrick, you didn't!" you cry, and he doesn't admit how the sound of his name being spat out of your mouth turns him on (even if he has to shift on the bed to hide his hard-on).

"Sure did."

He reaches into his backpack (the one he brings to school and now he's laughing at the horror on your face) and pulls out a tiny bag of cocaine stored inside a CD case. He fishes out a dollar bill and a credit card (that is definitely not his) from his pocket before plopping the items in front of you. You don't say anything for a few minutes, and Patrick doesn't push. But, he does begin emptying out the coke onto the case and using the card to cut it up. You watch him quietly, the horror fading slowly as the powder becomes thinner and a few lines are formed.

"Bills have germs," you finally speak, and Patrick almost scoffs, but stops himself in the name of money.

"That so, babe? You got a straw then?" he asks, knowing damn well you more-than-likely do. You wouldn't have said something if you didn't. He watches you get up and walk to your underwear drawer, where you dig around for a second before pulling out a ziplock bag. Inside he can see tiny bags of blow, straws, cards, and other crap he can't make out.

"You have a fucking cocaine kit?" His voice is full of judgment, but he's shifting his hips against the bed, his cock aching, knowing you're too busy pulling out two straws to notice. You don't answer him, but you do hold up a middle finger before you return to the bed. Patrick's already cut up four thick lines and is grinning wildly at you, impatiently flicking the card between his fingers.

He nods to the straws, "Better?" He's smirking now and all you do is roll your eyes while tying your hair up into a ponytail.

Before Patrick can blink or offer any more witty remarks, you're bending over the case and snorting all four fucking lines in one fucking go and Patrick nearly chokes on his own goddamn tongue and practically cums on the spot. Two of those rails were meant for him, and he's pretty sure he poured out a little less than a half onto that case, but fuck, he's not gonna scold you. You seem to know what the fuck you're doing, and he's not the babysitter type anyways. When you pull back, fingers covering your nostrils and inhaling deeply, Patrick can't keep the smile off his face and the hearts out of his eyes (but if anyone asks they weren't hearts bc that's just not how he rolls).

"You're fucking staring, Patrick," you grumble, voice weak and airy from holding your breath.

"Yeah, because that was fucking hot and not what I expected. Granted, you took my lines, but whatever," he mumbles, still staring up at you in awe.

You look down at him when he says that, eyes wide in shock. "Oh fuck, my bad."

"So many secrets," Patrick's snickers, before busying himself with pouring out and cutting up his own lines (exact same as yours because he'll be damned if he lets you one-up him in his own fucking game). You hand him his own straw, but Patrick simply grins before snatching the one you had just used out of your hand. You shout in protest, but it's too late, he's already bent over and snorting the case clean. Patrick lifts his head with a dopey grin, sniffing noisily as you glare at him. Both of you split the residue on the case, silently rubbing it against your gums before Patrick shifts himself to lean against your pillows. You follow suit, instinctively laying beside him with a satisfied hum. Patrick had managed to not only unlock two of your secrets, but he also got you to perform them, and the thought caused his fingers to jump at his side, his grin spreading. Plus, he had also found another secret in need of unlocking, just waiting to be heard and discovered.

"What're you so happy about?" you sigh, your words rushed and airy as you turn on your side to stare at him. Patrick copies your position, allowing his fingers to run over the side of your face once more.

"Finally cracking you open, (Y/N)."

"Sure, Patrick," you laugh, and Patrick's eyes flutter shut at the sound.

The next few hours are spent contently working on the project, with the frequent bump and line to push you guys forward. As Friday night begins to turn into Saturday morning, Patrick finds himself melting into your bed and no longer wanting to pick up The Odyssey or anything else for that matter. He can feel you curled up against his back, the book tucked into your arms as your eyes scan the words lazily; he's sure none of the information is registering with you and you'll have to re-read most of it in the morning, but you don't seem to care. The coke had been put away roughly two hours ago, nearly three, and Patrick was trying his best to disregard the comedown washing over him in waves. 

"We should try and sleep," you finally declare, noticing the soft, warm light beginning to peak into your room from your curtains. It wasn't going to be easy to fall asleep, but it was a decent option with your current states.

Patrick only grunts, not wanting to have to walk home with his heart racing the way it is and his throat aching. His limbs feel like Jell-O and his eyes burn, but once you remove yourself from his side, he forces himself to sit up. As he begins to sluggishly slip on his shoes, your hand on his shoulder stops him, and he looks up to see you pouting.

"The fuck you poutin' for, babe?" he sighs, turning back to his shoes.

"Stay, Patrick. You've been up all night and you're dealing with a come-down. Besides, I don't wanna be alone."

Patrick is positive you don't care about being alone, but your pouty lips and tug on his shirt magically coax him back into your bed before he can realize it. He slithers under the covers with you beside him, tensing up when you bury yourself into his side. He wants to push you off, tell you to go fuck yourself and hug your pillow, but he doesn't. Instead, he drapes an arm over your body, loose and hanging, and lets his eyes slip shut, willing his heart to calm down and his body to sleep. — Patrick and you had managed to achieve a few days worth of work during that night, and Patrick kept up his end of the deal- he didn't bother you at school and never offered a glance your way. But, he could tell his absence was bothering you, and it made his smirk widen each time he caught you looking at him. Patrick didn't show up for class during those few days, purposefully leaving you hanging with the class work, and it only took two days for you to seek him out.

"Patrick!" you shout as he's about to clamber into the Trans Am and speed off to god knows where. Patrick and the boys turn, Henry beginning to stalk forward at the interruption. However, Patrick grabs ahold of his shoulder and yanks him back, waiting for you to continue. "We have more work to do for the project."

'No we don't,' he laughs to himself. Patrick smirks and flicks a dismissive hand at the boys, ignoring their shouts and insults as he walks to your side and throws an arm over your shoulder. "Miss me already?"

"Shut up." -- It's been three weeks and Patrick isn't any closer to figuring out the dubbed Cheer Secret. He gets you to smoke around him constantly, and the two of you go through a few grams when you can afford it, but you don't utter a peep about the chick who had the 'accident'. Sometimes you'll rant about your friends and your family to him, things Patrick doesn't necessarily care about, but he listens to you anyway in hopes of a slip-up. But, no matter how high or drunk you get, that secret stays hidden within you and Patrick is over it. You rile him up in ways nobody else has before, and he wants nothing more than to make you his, but he can't without figuring you out. So, he works out yet another plan, one he isn't sure is even going to work.

Patrick makes sure he gets into another major fight with Henry before going to your house that day. It's a pretty bad fight, one that leaves his lip split, a cut on his eyebrow, gashes on his forehead, cheekbone, and his jaw, and many more hidden injuries beneath his bloody clothes. He knocks on your door, leaning heavily against the doorframe and waits for you to answer. When you do, you're actually shocked at his state- he hasn't looked this bad in weeks, and you can't contain the gasp that falls from your lips.

"Won't get blood on the carpet," Patrick murmurs while stumbling into the house, mindlessly walking into the direction of your room. The fight was more severe than he had predicted, and fuck, was he hoping more than ever his plan would work. Even as blood seeps from his body and his head swims with lost thoughts, Patrick still needed to know your secret.

You follow him into your room and help lower him to your bed. "What happened this time?" you ask, gingerly lifting his shirt up to inspect further damage. Patrick doesn't stop you.

"Henry was bitchin'. Gave 'im a piece o' my mind, and he gave me his. Pretty sure I left 'im bleeding out by the fuckin' river," Patrick slurs, wincing when you press against a cut on his side. Blood drips out at the contact, and you're instantly swiping it away, frowning.

You look up at him, "You just... left him there?"

Patrick nods silently, laying back on the bed with a huff. "Not my problem if he fuckin' dies. He shouldn't have opened his damn mouth." Your grip on his arm tightens, and Patrick sighs quietly. At least you weren't running away. "You gonna rat me out, babe?" he sneers, but even he can tell his voice is void of any true malice.

You scoff, "No, Patrick. I'd be a hypocrite. I have no right to do that- besides, I'd miss you too much."

Patrick laughs before he's coughing and groaning in pain. "Hypocrite, huh? Whatcha hidin' now? Don't wanna die on a cliffhanger," he coughs, lifting himself onto his elbow to try and subdue the pain and look at you better.

"Don't worry about that right now." Is all you say and Patrick is groaning again because 'fuck, I was so fucking close'.

You begin to tug at his shirt, and Patrick complies with letting you take it off. It sticks uncomfortably to his skin, but you eventually manage to peel it away with only a few grunts and hisses of pain. Patrick allows you to spend the next hour tending to his wounds, trying to rethink his plan over and over again. You're gentle and careful with him when all Patrick wants is to uncover your dark and rough side- the side he knows is screaming to be let out. By the time you've finished, Patrick's torso is scattered with bandages, and his face has been thoroughly cleaned and disinfected.

"Don't let this happen again," you say to him while putting away all the supplies you had needed.

Patrick watches you quietly for a minute. "It will. That's how me and Bowers work, if he's still alive. If you've ever been in a fight, or even dealt with the life we do, you'd understand." You still at that, and Patrick smirks.

'There it is.'

"Don't... don't say I haven't lived that life," you whisper slowly, standing up and turning to stare him down.

"How can I not? I don't know a thing about you, babe," Patrick says, resting a hand against his side as he looks up at you.

"I'm on the cheer team, straight-A student, AP classes-"

"Shut the fuck up," Patrick interrupts, scoffing loudly. "I'm not talking about the fake shit, (Y/N). I'm talking about you. The real fucking you. The leather jacket in the closet, the longing for my bruised knuckles, refusing to rid your sheets of my smell, accepting my smokes and my blow- that's the real you. And she's amazing. She's the person I wanna sit in here with, not whoever is looking at me now. So drop the god damn act already." He wasn't supposed to rant and go on a tangent, but once he started he just couldn't stop.

You stare down at him, your (e/c) eyes slowly losing their softness. Something almost akin to relief replaces it, and you collapse next to him with a quiet laugh. "I don't know if I want to cry, scream, or hit you."

Patrick grins, "Why not all of it?"

"Nobody was supposed to find out... ever. All of it was supposed to stay a secret until I got out of this shitty town. I... god, I don't know how you've figured me out in three weeks but I applaud you," you hum, resting your head in your palms. Patrick lets the comfortable silence that follows wash over you for a short while, before growing impatient. "Tell me about the girl." It's not a question or a plea, but a demand. You look over at him, eyebrows furrowed before you sigh in defeat.

"I fucked up."

"We all do. Talk to me." Patrick doesn't like the gentleness of his tone, but he can't do anything about that now.

You take a minute before sitting up straight. "She was the weakest link. I needed on the fucking team for college, and she was my way in. It was the few days of tryouts, and it had come down to me and her, but I could tell they were favoring her. She just... fit right. And I couldn't have that. So... I did what I had to. Lured her to the quarry with the promise of a drug deal, before pushing her over. She died and everyone thought it was suicide. I was let on the team and the rest is history." Your voice didn't waver throughout the story, and at the end, you look up at Patrick with a simple shrug, showing no remorse.

Patrick looks into your eyes for a minute, taking in their apathy, before he strikes. He places his hand against your cheek and pushes you back against the bed, kissing you roughly. You cry out in shock, hands immediately shoving at his chest to push him away.

"I killed someone!" you shout in disbelief, staring up at him with wide eyes.

Patrick smirks, "I know."

Patrick dives back down and kisses you once more, maneuvering his injured body above yours. You whimper quietly in defeat and wrap your arms around his neck, tugging him closer to you. Patrick growls in satisfaction- you're everything he expected you to be, and he couldn't be prouder at having figured you out. Now that you were wrapped around him, literally and figuratively, Patrick wasn't letting you go any time soon.

All Writing Taglist: @teageowen @mads--world @alex--awesome--22 @hxdesworld @frozenhuntress67 @samanthasmileys @simonsaysyasss

Bowers Gang Taglist: @kaitlinlexiexx @darth-stetter @admiralsixx @ssstutteringbbbill @scckzy

[goldtips]

okay so ya girl is back at it again. this was originally going to be a reply to someone but well. it got out of hand. i shat all over babylon the anime a while ago and honestly kind of feel bad. there are definitely things that the show does that makes it stand out, esp as a seasonal anime bc you dont expect dir. to spend much time on them!!!! like if we’re comparing this to shows like fanservice anime or any .. mediocre seasonal isekai then ofc this show is better lmfao. the only reason i shit on it is because i expected this anime to be Better ;;;;;;;

mind, i’m not rescinding my statement - as far as i’m concerned, babylon is still a hella frustrating anime because it tries to showcase humans as nihilistic, utilitarian robots that don’t seem to consider the topic of suicide emotionally even though thats supposedly humanity’s defining trait ??? and it deals with the topic of suicide with the care of elephants gallivanting in the fucking savanna :))) the whole show has also been pretty lacklustre in terms of characterization, trying way too hard to be intellectual and feed edgy plot points instead of giving any development - the plot feels reactionary overall and placid rather than exciting. also, the fact that the anime started as a mystery / politico-legal sort of show just makes the transition from that to abstract theory even more forced...........

HOWEVER im promised im going to stop shitting on babylon so lets talk about what the anime does right shall we. more specifically,,, the biblical imagery!!! is great !!!! : D

the show is called babylon. in the old testament (ot), babylon is humanized as a “brutal, callous and proud” woman who “believed that she would reign over the earth forever.” in the new testatment the phrase “she who is at babylon” refers to the new world culture currently at war with the covenant community. in such that rome, as a mistress or whore of the new world, is seeking to seduce and subvert people of god, enticing men to fall “drunk with the wine of her fornication.”

yes,,,, a whore who uses sex to entice innocent men into complying with new culture? who believes herself to be akin to god and also in this context, above the law and morality - im gonna say its not too far a stretch to say that magase was intended to symbolise the whore of babylon.

however, that’s not all - links can be made between the enactment of the suicide laws and the seduction of new culture. who exactly is leading the front? kaika itsuki ( 齋 開化 ), who’s name literally means culture. that aint a coincidence. also, that weirdly-placed reference to roman law / norms during the suicide debate as a way to convince the masses to revert / adopt roman ideology??? also not a coincidence. :))))

in addition, there are two other major biblical events related to babylon:

the book of revelations; and

the tower of babel.

its safe to say that both narratives are being pushed atm.

revelations:

in revelation 17, the spirit of babylon decends upon earth through the whore. she arrives on the back of a beast with 7 heads, “arrayed in purple and scarlet”, “drunk with the blood of the saints, the blood of the martyrs of Jesus.” “seven heads are seven mountains, on which the woman sitteth.” the revelations also prophesizes that she will be defeated by a beast, but it is unclear as to which. there are two beasts in book of revelations. the first beast comes "out of the sea" given authority and power by the dragon/serpent. the second beast comes "out of the earth" directing people to worship the first beast, a "false prophet".

in a similar vein, nomaru had secretly vouched for itsuki’s, providing itsuki with the necessary resources for him to rise up in ranks and become the new mayor. the kanji for ryuichiro nomaru ( 野丸 龍一郎 ) contains both the kanji 野 and 龙 which respectively mean field (i.e. earth) and dragon. they are key references to the beasts of revelation

plus according to nomaru, it was also purely because of magase that the political struggle turned out the way that it did, meaning that she is ultimately the one controlling the entire operation. this mirrors the way she is sitting on the heads of the beast (i.e. the proverbial brains of the campaign that itsuki is heading) 

we also see that when magase uses her powers her eyes and hair glow in a sort of purple/burgundy color to support the imagery as well! 

the book of revelations is the final chapter of nt. it is merely an allegory of struggle between good and evil and doesnt refer to actual people or events. kinda like the show huh. nyyy way, we see that the protag john the apostle writes down what is revealed to him through visions to send it to the 7 churches :))

kinda like how zen keeps on seeing magase through visions and has to document !! his findings and report back to admin? ik this isnt exact but there’s a bit where he has to write down her confession and it really struck me as weird until this bit popped up, maybe that was included to as a way of tying in :))

tower:

according to the myth, there were plans to build a city and tower high enough to reach heaven - god who observes this confounds their speech so that they can no longer understand each other. why? because “now nothing will be restrained from them, which they have imagined to do.”

while not entirely similar, we see recurring themes in babylon that deal with miscommunication and new ideology. the conflict mirrors the myth in that unity of language (or ideology in this case) and its subsequent discordance once differentiated. 

the interrogation scene in ep 4 deals with reconciling differences. magase asks whether those with different values should be accepted, despite them being contrary to norm. all this time, society has been developing an ideal set of norms - the entire country shares the same values and priorities with no deviation. growth has stagnated. in similar fashion to how god commands for many languages to be created, magase sows the seeds of doubt towards long-standing assumptions and moral values in order to create discordance and push japan into a state of new development

in the new campaign, itsuki proposes to apportion shiniki city from japan and instill new values. this confounds the population and sends them into disarray - the tower that they have created is crumbling, in similar likeness to the parable of babel.

SO TL;DR this show has a really cool starting concept i cant lie?????  i for one am not shitting on its supernatural elements (even though the flow was a little inorganic) in hindsight there’s no point in expecting a show called babylon not to delve into supernatural/biblical elements lol :)))

as a right hoe for imagery and philosophy/ethics, this gave me high hopes but the execution of everything else was way below average. why bring in a discussion about suicide that’s poorly researched + try to be edgy abt it and have the citizens to have support it so easily???? ruins the immersion so much

if the anime really wanted to focus on philosophy there should be some mention of ethical theory to justify his point. like, being aimlessly philosophical only ends up being flowery and pseudo-bullshit lmao. one of hte reasons why i was so frustrated with magase and zen’s discussion in the interrogation room. like woman what was your fucking point. its only wasting screentime if you don’t get anything from the conversation. the philosophy was so fucking unnecessary - babylon could have been executed as an in-depth political/psychological anime instead. WITHOUT THE SUICIDE.

this and the lack of good characters really bummed me out. i think that the show was expecting me to connect to some of the characters before they were fucking killed off but i didn’t end up giving a single shit about any of them so. :) the whole show feels more about the shock factor and gore than about interesting plot.

concept 10/10, execution 1/10

[zisung-archive]

You dont think Renjun was asked to say that about the car incident? Like I want to believe it's the truth because obviously I want them to be treated well, but it doesn't excuse the fact he was asked to not sit in the middle during that other vlive, nor telling him to shut up, not talk about WinWin or his vacation :( It just feels a little off to me, but idk maybe I'm just too pessimistic lol

ok. since i think ur genuinely concerned ill try n answer this seriously because me and my friends did look into all of that like a while back already but yeah i honestly dont think the relationship to their managers is as shit as people make it out to be. the dreamies hyped their manager (at least the one they had during mfal era mc ari whos known as ambers prev manager) without prompt in older livestreams and had inside jokes with him and shit like…it seems very genuine at least to me. we watched the clip where people said renjun was apparently told to shut up and its a very VERY long shot. not only can you barely hear that theres something being said but even if you turn up the volume to hear “shut up” is..reading a lot into it. him not being allowed to talk about winwin much is a different thing entirely and yeah we heard that too. but winwins being “erased” in many ways. from 127 twitter updates where hes obviously in the video audio to other shit like. this cant just be without reason either. it is upsetting that winwins being cut out like that it genuinely sucks but doesnt it dawn on anyone that there has to be a bigger fucking reason for that like “just out of spite” when wayv is being treated so well doesnt seem like a plausible fucking conspiracy to me lmfao. hate on me i guess but i think it has to run a bit deeper than that. although its frustrating and sucks we just kinda have to accept that we dont know everything that goes on behind the scenes of the entertainment industry and how many strings come into play. it be like this!!!!! its a bitter pill to swallow. we cant just go around reading into shit and selling it around as truth like thats helping exactly no one and this whole mass unfollowing making stocks drop..like. do people realize that if sm suffers nct suffers too by extension. Lmfao. anyway. i understand where the concern and “pessimism” comes from. sm doesnt tell us shit and its infuriating. but blowing every little thing out of proportion is always going to do more harm than good. renjun has a full stomach. hes living his dream. stop focusing on minor shit that we cant possibly know the full story behind anyway and stream boom

[comeallyelost]

The Handmaid’s Tale 3x11 Thoughts

THT is finally picking up and I am split between being super excited and just generally frustrated that they had all these filler episodes with barely any movement for the majority of the season. But anyway, he are my thoughts on the main storylines of this ep:

1. Commander Winslow and the attempted rape scene

Okay this whole sequence was exceptional and exactly the catharsis I argued this season was in dire need of. June's narration of "treating it like a job" and the way she kept faltering in her delivery and in trying to convince herself one more time was fuckin A+ right there. 

June's actions in this scene were reinforcing the opening of the episode when Eleanor had Joseph at gunpoint. June told Eleanor "We all could have done something." In this scene, at this time, she DID something. It's inherently tied to post-Gilead June. More so post-death-of-Natalie June. She's refusing to remain complicit. At this point, she has nothing left to lose. I read a post earlier about how this scene and how THT in the past has glorified the idea of sexual assault victims fighting back and about how that should not be celebrated as a way to deal with sexual violence because that option is almost never available. But I'd argue that Moira, Emily, and now June in fighting back had/have very real consequences to face. And in all of their cases, they fought back at times when they'd reached their lowest point. In S1, Moira was resigned to a short life at Jezebel's until she found June again and June had told her that Luke got out. For Emily, she had just been mutilated by Gilead and took direct action against the regime by running over the guardian. Later with Aunt Lydia, Lawrence was able to get her out before she could face any consequences. 

Gilead drove them to become these people, but not before they had been worn down to the point that they decided for themselves there was no worse punishment than the existence they had already resigned themselves to. And the only one of the three who has not suffered a direct consequence for her actions has been Moira thus far (because she made it out). Emily was shipped to the Colonies after her outburst. And people are most certainly coming after June. The Marthas may have bought her some time, but she is not in the clear.

All I’m arguing is that these three characters’ actions in regards to fighting back is, within the context of the narrative, believable and--yes, for me--celebrated by the audience who has witnessed them be raped and beaten down over and over and over again. Our heroes have triumphed in a small way and that’s what we’re here for. We’re rooting for them. Mind you, they have not triumphed without consequence or repercussions. And I, as an audience member, am not expecting this to be the norm in situations of assault in the series, but its their spirit of resistance, of resilience that’s shining through that I am happy to see on screen. And also, its their stories that are getting told. The stories of the survivors of Gilead and how they made it through.

Now, I don’t know that the victims of sexual assault in this series will get the screen time they deserve regarding working through their trauma. Just like the racism issue on this show, this could be handled much better. It just might be the case that the coping/recovery aspect won’t ever be addressed. Or it might be that in the midst of all that is happening in Gilead at the moment, in order to survive, June is dealing with the here and now and won’t be able to cope with her issues until she’s out. We caught a glimpse of what it was like for Moira and Emily as survivors of Gilead. Granted, it was not nearly enough, but hopefully that’s something the writers will build on.

SO

Despite all of the above, I am torn between the relief and catharsis this scene gave me and the show’s complete and utter lack of exploration of Commander Winslow’s character. Like, YAY the fucker is dead and he died in the most satisfying way the audience could have asked for. But he was supposed to be a villain this season, no? THT had it all set up and then left his character on the back burner. What was gonna come of his relationship to Fred? What was his role in all of the extradition stuff. I’m just so frustrated with this wasted potential. And I legit thought for a second there in 3x06 that they hinted at him being sexually into Fred. 2.  The Waterfords

Perfect, wonderful, the arrest scene is the scene we all needed at least four episodes ago. And I loved how Tuello was super no-nonsense about it and straight up just grabbed Fred the second he was in Canada. My only qualm with this whole thread is why did it take so long with nothing of substance filling in the time? Like, the story could have moved forward so much faster. 

Serena is up to something, I know she is. I really wasn’t sure if she set Fred up or if she was trying to work something out with Tuello and it all just went to hell. She is just as much a war criminal as Fred is so I’m curious to see how this plays out and what kind of deal she struck/will strike with Tuello. 

The only reason I’d suspect she set Fred up is because their whole trip played out like a long goodbye where they relived their greatest hits and spoke a lot about the what-ifs of their lives. But to my knowledge she still wants the baby back doesn’t she? Did the whole enforce-the-Ceremony thing really change her mind AGAIN? Like, bitch lost her damn pinky finger and she bounced back from that? When not long before being de-fingered she helped Fred to rape June? Whatever she’s up to, I honestly hope she suffers for her actions as well.She doesn’t deserve Tuello’s treason and coconuts.

3. June, the Marthas, and her crusade

Ngl, I'm getting really excited for a mass exodus of children from Gilead. I'm still iffy on the whole setup of it, because again, June has no reason to be spearheading any of this. Especially if the Marthas already have something in place. It feels like they acquiesced too quickly in that scene in the Lawrence basement. But June's attitude of "it has to work" and getting Lawrence in line  and later that Billy guy to agree to her plan was pretty great. 

I think the believability factor is hindered by the fact that she is working alone. Like, yes, she’s trying to get all these moving pieces to work together, but even though she has the character traits of a leader and we’ve seen that for the most part she has not relinquished her sense of power despite her position, orchestrating a move like this doesn’t realistically happen over the course of a few days and persuading a couple of people. It’s looking too easy given how damn complicated so many other things in Gilead have been. It’s like another version of convenient plot armor. 

But also shoutout to the Marthas for their badassery!

4. Other thoughts: - Next week’s trailer we FINALLY have some Canada scenes.Seeing Luke also made me realize how much I miss the flashback scenes too :(

- I’m liking Commander Lawrence more and more each ep and I low-key loved the fact that he raided all the art museums lmfao

- I feel like Beth’s character is being wasted. Why can’t we know more about her and what she gets up to? I like her.

- Also where are Alma and Janine? Weren’t they helping?

There’s only 2 eps left and I feel like there is way too much ground to cover for there to be a satisfying ending for all the characters. Sigh.

[timeisacephalopod]

Ive seen endgame! Spoilers under the cut and I’m not tagging this as spoilers because I’m literally telling you now its spoilers.

1- what the fuck was the point of Tony’s kid? We had more than 10 years with this character, he doesn’t need a kid for emotional impact when he died and now I’m kind of pissed they threw this fucking random kid in there only to orphan the poor thing and make Pepper a single mother. What fucking bullshit. Never should have been a storyline.

2- Pepper in the suit yaaaaaas.

3- Wanda. Fucking loved her moments. And Thanos’ “I don’t even know who you are” was fucking iconic lmao. I mean her “you will” was okay but holy fucking damn that was the funniest shit from Thanos.

4- they killed viz permanently lmao yeah I didn’t give 2 tits and a snare drum about him anyway so I don’t care.

5- Steve. What the fucking fuck did they do to him? Don’t get me wrong, I like Peggy, and I liked him and Peggy in FA. They were cute. But it was a 4 month fling in the middle of of a war. Not that it can’t be important, but after 15+ years you are telling me a 4 month fling from Steve’s youth is more important to him than everything else? And what of Bucky? He leaves him to HYDRA and after all the shit he went through in WS and CW you’re seriously telling me he’d just LEAVE him there like that? I don’t mean to be a dick to Peggy because I do like her, but narratively speaking Bucky has always played more importance to her except when they want to make Steve feel nostalgic. I’m sorry, I’m fucking over that plot line.

More than that though she moved on in her show, she had a life after Steve and he went back and took that from her. And I don’t see why aside from no one let him grow as a character while also having him grow as a character. He went through a huge character shift in WS and then we saw nothing of it. Aside from his motivations in CW, which make sense given the context of WS however much I disagree, we see none of that development and I’m fucking tired of watching him lament over a relationship that lasted for a shorter time than a high school semester. To any normal person, and even to Steve given his non normal stance, he would have moved the fuck on. Also he made out with her niece that one time!! How is he living with this!

Also Sam says they never had a Captain America but Steve was still big when he danced with Peggy, which means he got the serum, which means he still can’t age right, which begs the question of how the tits long did he live? And again, what does this mean for everything else considering getting the serum implies he was, at some point, Cap even if he was never the Cap they knew. What the fuck! I’m actually the most mad about this because Steve, post WS, probably would have been one of my favorite characters given his extreme narrative shift and just how interesting that could have been if anyone ever fucking let him move on with his fucking self but no. Instead we end with him in the same spot he started in! I watched ten years of this shit for him to do NOTHING? All that development (that the narratives never really let him go through in totality because he narratively never shifted out of his War and Peggy Phase even while his character, on an individual level, moved out of that several times) and I watch him end in the same place he started?

Honestly I’m pretty pissed about that. Especially with all the did with Bucky. I seriously can’t believe Steve fucking left him there, ignored every piece of information he had, ruined Peggy’s original happy ending, and then didn’t even grow as a character. I like that he got a happy ending, I think he’s earned that, but I simply cannot believe a 4 month fucking fling meant so much he’d ignore his best friend, HYDRA, Peggy’s original marriage, the fact that he made out with her niece that one time, and everything else to end up exactly where he started. Which is why I don’t really care for him to begin with- because the narrative always leaves him right at the beginning and I don’t know how to invest in a character that grows but never grows. If he narratively was allowed to grow he would have been so. Much. Better. It is so fucking frustrating to me that he never moved the fuck on. You have no idea.

6- “I can do this all day” “Yeah I know”

7- “You look like melted ice cream”

8- Hated almost everything they did with Thor. Fat jokes? Yikes. Though I did love that ice cream line. Loved the bit with Frigga. And like. Thor being devastated and traumatized is ok. I think that’s realistic enough even if I wonder how someone that’s been alive for well over 1000 years doesn’t know how to handle himself with slightly more grace. I would have liked to see him crack differently.

9- Cap picking up Thor’s hammer and Thor being happy about it? 10 000 times better than the garbage Whedon wrote. Loved that.

10- Nebula. N E B U L A. NEEEEEBBBUUUUULLLLAAAA. Start to finish fucking loved her. She was amazing. 2 questions though- how did she not kill herself when she killed herself? Which in itself is a fucky question to ask. And also the second contention point I have with the movie beyond time travel bullshit is why NO ONE asked where she was post Nat (that in a minute). I know they were sad about Nat obviously but Rhodey is a full bird colonel, he keeps track of thousands of people for his job, plus all of his involvement in Tony’s antics, plus the Avengers and you’re telling me he didn’t notice her gone even with Nat? And Tony, you’re telling me he didn’t notice her gone? He was the one who bonded with her the most and he didn’t notice that he’s now technically lost two people he was close to? And Rocket? He didn’t notice? Are you fucking kidding me? I thought that was bullshit.

Even if, by chance, Rhodey somehow didn’t notice his partner in crime was missing (”I wasn't always like this” “Neither was I”- new BroTP yo!) when I think his military experience alone would have made him the second most likely to notice after Rocket (because he knows her the best) then Rocket should have. And if for some reason Rocket didn’t notice despite her being all that’s left of his found family, making him extra invested in her whereabouts, over Nat, whom I think he’d care about but not like Nebula, then Tony, who spent all that time with her in space, would have noticed.

Fucking someone would have noticed her gone. And the whole second half relies on no one noticing this moment and I call absolute bullshit on that. Someone. Would. Have. Noticed. Rhodey if for no other reason than experience of keeping track of people in war zones, Rocket if for no other reason than her being his last remaining connection to his family, and Tony if for no other reason than Nebula being a large part of the reason he’s alive. I was completely thrown from the story here. I simply can’t see how they could over look that even considering Natasha.

11- Natasha. Are you fucking kidding me? You killed her over Clint? I fucking hate MCU Clint. He’s boring, he’s nothing like the comics, he’s a fucking prick, and I don’t give a fuck about his family or anything to do with him. I liked him best when he was going to kill himself for Natasha. That is the only moment, as Marie Kondo would say, sparked joy for me. Otherwise throw the whole thing out. Fucking Natasha over Clint. Fuck you. That was an insult to the viewers. I don’t give a fuck about Clint, I don’t give a fuck about his kids aside from thinking they didn’t deserve the snap, and I don’t give a fuck about his story.

My mom said he was a plain Timbit (donut hole for the US readers) in a donut world and I honestly think that’s insulting to the plain Timbit, which is something we give to dogs as treats in Canada. Clint isn’t even a dog treat to me and they killed Black Widow over him. Fucking pissed.

12- “That suit does nothing for your ass” “No one was asking you to look, Tony!” “That’s America’s ass!” .... “That is America’s ass”

13- I actually really liked what they did with Bruce. I was excited to see all the benefits of the Hulk and Banner in one! That was pretty cool!

14- Strange’s reappearance was pretty badass. And Wong! I was excited to see him there! Was a bit surprised by Tilda Swinton’s appearance but okay. I didn’t hate it. Loved when she punched Bruce out of the Hulk lmfao that was so funny. I do like that she apparently does that to everyone lmao. I should write a fic where she punches Wong’s soul out of his body when the meet just because I think it’d be funny. And I’d love to see more Wong.

15- Steve vs Steve was really cool, I liked that. And fucking Hail HYDRA holy fucking shit I almost lost my ass. Couldn’t fucking believe he said that (and knowing that he just leaves that all for Peggy, his 4 month fling? Find this wildly out of character for him). Then he fucks right off with the tesseract omg.

16- Scott had some iconic one-liners. “That’s America’s ass!” “Okay I'm going to go inside you” omg. Ant Man was a joy to watch in this. I find Endgame used his character right.

17- I know I said it but Pepper Potts in the fucking suit y’all! I don’t know who was watching Morgan but also Pepper Potts in the fucking suit!!

18- That time travel shit made things entirely way too fucky. I knew that’s what they were going to do because that’s all that made sense, but I thought it was fucking stupid. And can Thanos even snap the stones out of existence? Because Tilda Swinton’s speech implied if he did something like that timelines would essentially do the funky chicken and die. She removed the time stone and shit was supposed to get weird, remove all 5 and what happens? Wtf? He fucking hid those stones. Did like Thor’s bit there though, killing Thanos. I think Nebula earned it more than him but I also think it was a good moment for Thor before his character became a fucking joke. 

19- narratively I understand why they started with Clint’s family dusting but I don’t give a fuck about Clint or his dusted family. I would have preferred watching a civilian lose his shit.

20- Steve you need therapy, stop leading therapy sessions. Especially when your advice is ‘move on’ and you literally go fucking nowhere in your life even after you went all over hell’s creations. Get this man a proper therapist he needs like 15!

21- lmfao Russos talking about gay representation and it was a guy talking about a date. I shit you the fuck not that was it. Gay. It was barely even there. Only straight men would ever assume that could possibly count as representation holy fuck. Like thanks for the blink you miss it shout out I guess. You remembered gays exist, wow!

22- Strange’s one finger thing, I liked that a lot actually. I think it functioned both as a great call to action and a nice reference to Stephen’s power.

23- Quick question, why was Tilda Swinton in New York? Because they went back too far for Strange- at first I when they mentioned 3 stones in NY I was like wait, when’s Strange’s story supposed to happen? After WS right? He can’t be in NY with the stone? But then Tilda showed up and I was like... why isn’t she in Nepal at the teaching sanctum? Because apparently the NY one isn’t a teaching sanctum and as far as I knew she was training Mordo and Wong there at this time so wtf? And it can’t be explained with ‘she knew she needed to be there’ because she punched Bruce out of hulk and he had to grovel to her to get the fucking thing from her and only managed because she knew Stephen gave up the stone willingly and would never do so without good reason because he’s the best fo the best. So like. Why was she there aside from plot convenience? That was a little too easy. Frankly, the whole plot was a touch too easy but still.

24- tired of aliens we’re supposed to relate to looking like humans but in pink while aliens we’re supposed to dislike are animalistic and non human looking. That’s a garbage trope.

25- The black woman in the elevator who made Tony and Steve is 100% Fury’s mother no one can convince me otherwise. I think the timeline matches up but I don’t care if it doesn’t she’s his mom now. He gets it all from his mama.

Bonus: stop trying to make Howard happen, Marvel, its not going to. I fucking hated that scene with Tony and Howard. What kind of bullshit abuse apology was that? Howard then, sure, he didn’t suck quite yet and seems to be aware of his own shortcomings. Howard in the future? Sorry, irredeemable crap. Narratively interesting irredeemable crap but irredeemable nonetheless. Tony panicking and saying his last name was Potts was great though lol. I’ll take it as evidence he took Pepper’s last name when they got married.

Bonus Bonus: I cried when Sam held the shield. I’ve been gunning for Sam to take over as Cap since we met him and everyone told me it’d be Bucky. I argued that we’ve already seen the story of a super soldier as Cap, it would be more interesting to watch Sam as a relatively normal guy take over as Cap. And I like Bucky traumatized and Winter Solider-y. I think he’s more interesting that way. Seriously though, Sam as Cap will be amazing and I didn’t expect to cry at that of all things but I did. I’m so excited to see him in that role!

Bonus Bonus Bonus for any sorry fucking soul who’s made it this far in I think I might update the Tony, T’Challa, and Their Gaggle of Children verse to include Morgan (but older) finding Tony only she’s his actual assed kid and no one believes it even though they have a striking resemblance. Which annoys them both because he got the media to buy all his other fake kids with easy to track down parents but not his actual kid. Ending with Nebula showing up and him claiming she’s his kid and everyone buying it.

[nyanzaya]

@if-that-so inquired: 💋💖💄👓🔫🔮🎤🎪🍸🍯🍰⛄⏳💐⚾🌊🌵🍒🐝💳👠👻💉🃏😊🙁 tbh i want to ask all... And also, there are some i already know but i just want to make sure 😘 

oc questions

💋 What traits do they like in other people? What traits do they not like?

Iza: The traits Iza likes in other people is intellect? He likes smart people, but he also doesn’t like smart people. He loves people who are a little gullible/inattentive because he would take advantage of it in small ways to get what he wants. Direct people are his favorite but also his bane because he hates to be put in the spotlight when they call things/point things out.

Zuo: Zuo likes when someone is laid back, fun and just a calming presence to be around. The traits he dislikes are: Deceptive, dishonest, indecisive and of course provoking in terms of trying to rile him up and get him angry

💖 Do they have a significant other? If so, who?

In their canon they were significant others; but things happened and now they are broken up even though under the sheets they still want to be together. You could say that they are still significant others but if they find anyone else to be with instead of each other then they let each other go. In a way you could say Zuo and Iza are still significant others with each other but as of right now they don’t have a significant other-- (and if i were to make this blog single ship I think I might make them significant others again but it would be like wild af)

💄 Do they care about their physical appearance? What’s their routine like?

Iza: He cares a lot about how he looks. From how his hair is style to the make up he has on. He wants to look the best and be the “best in show” Often, he is asleep during the day but whenever he does wake up he washes his face, fixes his hair to look well-kept and then he puts on eyeliner and depending, mascara. The eyeliner is always a cateye. He has a bunch more make up but he stays with the simple stuff because he feels that if you put too much you’re just ruining how you look, then he makes sure his nails are well-kept and manicured so if he’s not sleeping or working he will be tending to his nails

Zuo: He doesn’t care that much about how he looks? All he cares about is looking presentable and then going about his business. He doesn’t care for “looking the best” if anything he’d just want to look cool even if he doesn’t wear anything that’s flashy. Zuo does style his hair to hide his ears but sometimes they perk up from under his hair and it’s super cute

👓 Do they have any physical or mental disabilities?

Iza: I MEAN. He doesn’t have any physical disabilities but for mental-- like PTSD then yes lol. MMmh I guess hypersomnia because he is constantly and I mean cooonstantly sleeping even though it’s more like naps(like 16-24 hours at least) Anxiety and depression too.

Zuo: He doesn’t have any physical disabilities and for mental it’s almost the same as Iza’s except he doesn’t have hypersomnia. With what they both lived through, they would have these types of mental disorders but they ARE NOT diagnosed for it

🔫 What would they die for? Kill for?

Both of them would die to help their kin be free from servitude and they’d kill for it too. Iza already does kill for it, but Zuo tries not too. Though, unlike Iza, Zuo would kill and die for his significant other(whether it’s Iza or not), but Iza would kill for his significant other even if it means he kills them or someone else lmfao

🔮 Do they have any magical powers or abilities? If it’s a realistic world, what religion do they follow?

I think there has to be some magic because well, tbh the world is based around drrr and there’s supernatural creatures like faeries and demons so it wouldn’t surprise me if there was even a little bit of magic but, Iza and Zuo don’t have any magical powers or abilities. Iza isn’t exactly religious but the religion he follows is the religion of a cat god who was almost entirely erased from the world and sometimes when he refers to “God” he refers to her, but he does reference the christian God quite a bit and might have a bit of a god complex because he preaches for people to “Turn yourself into God and you won’t ever be killed.” Now ZUO WELL, I think he actually is religious but he is not a devote follower. I think he follows the same religion as Iza with the cat god but he isn’t a devote follower of Her, he prefers to keep religion and things like that to himself. Where Iza and Zuo differ between the religion is Iza says She is a vengeful and cruel god who wants to punish all who have hurt her children or kittens(As in her followers), while Zuo says she’s a benevolent God who wants to fix the things she had done wrong. Iza and Zuo don’t talk about religion to each other often because they could never agree.

🎤 Do they play any instruments?

Neither of them play instruments, unless you count singing as an instrument then Iza sings! Zuo would get frustrated with instruments but if he did play he would probably play drums

🎪 What would their favorite ride at an amusement park be?

Iza: The ferris wheel so he can look down on all the people because he loves to feel superior and better than them :sob:

Zuo: A big crazy roller coaster because he would love to feel the wind and the rush of adrenaline

🍸 How do they act when they’re drunk?

Iza: He’s honestly? Really emotional when he’s drunk? Lol like, he really easy to influence too and just the littlest things would make him burst into tears like LOL oh god if he saw something really cute he’d just “Oooh~ MY GODS-- That’s the cutest..i--eeeeoh my gooooood” Like Iza please...dont cry because of a really cute looking puppy or kitten lol

Zuo: I ACTUALLY HAVEN'T THOUGHT OF IT FOR ZUO BUT I THINK HE WOULD BE THE CALM FUNNY CUDDLE TYPE OF DRUNK.

🍯 Which era of history would they most like to live in?

Iza: I think he’d want to live in like, oh gosh probably the future tbh?

Zuo: He’d want to live in the era with kings and queens because he was a royal knight and he misses his king :(

🍰 What’s their favorite food?

Iza: He loves horse meat? I don’t know why

Zuo: I think Fugu because he isn’t afraid to get poisoned by a fish

⏳ How do they feel about death?

Iza: Iza finds death to be a beautiful thing? I don’t think he really...idolizes it... because in his head its “You’re not really dying, you are being transformed into something else.” which like, okay Iza. I mean I GUESS. and he says that you don’t ever actually die, you get reincarnated as something else to learn a new lesson

Zuo: For real Zuo doesn’t like death, hates death, and wishes it never existed because he can remember his past lives and how he died and what he hates most about it is: coming back and having to figure everything out again and finding Iza/his soulmate and convince them that “We are destined to be together, please, believe me you don’t remember but I do.” and YEAH HE GETS REALLY SAD ABOUT IT

💐 Do they collect anything? What’s their most prized possession?

Iza: Iza collects plush toys because he feels comforted whenever he has one. His prized possession has to be his collar because he got that from his first master? And he’s had it ever since? He wears it literally all the time, partly because one he kinda misses his first? And second to deter people from taking him

Zuo: I don’t think Zuo has ever collected anything? Not from what I can recall but his most prized possession has to be the glasses he wears because he got that from his mom because she didn’t want him to be unable to see just how colorful the world actually is (they are both colorblind)

⚾ Do they play any sports?

Iza: He doesn’t play any sports? But I mean if you count hunting small animals and occasionally people as a sport then yeah he does LOL

Zuo: He plays whatever sport he can, though his favorites are soccer and football, mostly football for really obvious reasons

🌊 What one place do they really want to visit and why?

Iza: France! Because he wants to visit Paris since he heard it’s the city of love

Zuo: Germany! He wants to see the castles and try the food

🌵 What languages do they speak?

Iza: English, German, Japanese

Zuo: English, French, Japanese

🍒 What are some items they always carry? What weapon do they favor using if they exist in a world where weapons are necessary?

Iza: He always has his pocket knife, but he’s very reluctant on using it because he would rather talk with words than get physical and fight(Unless it’s Zuo then he will fight Zuo), wallet, needles because he can hit puncture points really well when he’s fighting/hunting

Zuo: This white envelope that holds his catnip cigarettes that he rolls himself, his sunglasses and wallet

🐝 What stereotypical high school clique would they fit into?

Iza: He would fit in that…. Drifter or an Outsider clique? The one kid that goes around and comes off as a social butterfly but is just fine on their own and is also the one that ends up knowing literally everyone else's business while no one knows his.

Zuo: I think he would be a jock lmfao just, obvious reasons? To burn off steam and because he wants attention

💳 What one thing that they don’t need do they waste the most money on?

Iza: Oh gosh...he wastes money on a lot of things ...like he doesn’t need make-up but “Bitch I need my eye liner and blush.” and strawberry milk because “Shut up! I like it, I desire it, and I will have it.” and plush toys because “It makes me feel GOOD.” And designer knives because “I just think they are neat and I want it for my collection.” Like, someone stop him

Zuo: Hmm for Zuo? I don’t think he really spends his money-- but sometimes he’d impulsive buy weird things like slippers that look like bread? Or weird figurines lol it’s so hard to say accuse there’s a lot of weird things xD But if it looks interesting and funny he’d buy it, it dont even matter what it is

👠 What kind of shoes do they wear?

Iza: Iza has a lot of shoes he wears? Like he’ll wear heels(Like any type of heel) sometimes but most of the time I think he wears slip-ons, sneakers and slippers and if he’s dressed up he’d wear derby.

Zuo: He’s so easy and simply: Sneakers. Slip-ons, slippers  

👻 Do they believe in ghosts, aliens, and the occult in general?

For both of them, yes! I think Iza is kind of skeptical about it but Zuo insists aliens and ghosts are real. Iza is more into the occult than Zuo, like witchcraft and magic because he wants it to be real

💉 Which Deadly Sin do they most correspond to? Which Heavenly Virtue?

Iza: Lust for his sin and oh god… for a heavenly virtue uhm…. Hope or Fortitude

Zuo: Wrath for his sin and for his heavenly virtue it’s Justice or Temperance

🃏 If you had to choose one tarot card to represent them, what would it be?

Iza: Death because it represents major transformation and new beginnings, and transformation, passage, and change. Another one would be The Moon(symbolizes illusion and deception, and therefore often suggests a time when something is not as it appears to be. Perhaps a misunderstanding on your part, or a truth you cannot admit to yourself) and The Devil(symbolizes ambitions and is also synonymous with temptation, addiction, and depression)

Zuo: The World because it represents that things have come full circle, a journey has been completed, and a long-term project has come to an end. Another one for him would be The Sun(symbolizes positive energy, joy of living and enthusiasm) and The Hanged Man(symbolizes trial or meditation, selflessness, and sacrifice)

😊 What do they consider to be their best quality? What actually is their best quality?

Iza: He would say his best quality is his charm. His actual best quality is how tactful he can be, let alone romantic

Zuo: He would say his best quality is how brave he is. His actual best quality is how self-confident he is in himself

🙁 What do they consider to be their worst quality? What actually is their worst quality?

Iza: He would say his worst quality is how lazy/procrastinating he gets. His worst quality has to be how vainful and superficial he can actually be, let alone him using it to manipulate situations to get what he wants.

Zuo: He would say it’s his outbursts of anger, but actually his worst quality impulsive behavior because he just does it...he doesn’t think about it

[softgrungeprophet]

it’s that time again. time for me to be annoyed/frustrated at the comics that came in the 20-teens that simultaneously responded directly to the 2000s, followed in the 2000s’ continuation, but completely glossed over and ignored the very serious topics that were brought up. and then we get the fucking 2018 run which does NEITHER and just seeks to make it worse for shock value without being even remotely thoughtful about anything it does! wow.

we could have had some really interesting growth for eddie and the symbiote’s relationship by honestly addressing things like eddie’s illness, hypocrisy as anti-venom, his status as a victim of abuse, and so on...

of course i know if i say “eddie is a victim” people will get hissy but like.... i’m not saying he’s an innocent blameless baby who was manipulated into being the weirdo he is... i’m just saying... he’s a victim of abuse. he’s been taken advantage of a lot. almost any help he’s received has required some kind of reciprocation.

he’s a shithead and he went off the deep-end after new ways to die because remender’s version of eddie fucking sucks, he’s smug and weird and violent, and also he’s been neglected and tortured and abused and experimented on and he needs therapy and blah blah blah

he’s also not some fuckin accidental drunk driver who was hit into thinking he’s innocent. that’s so fucking--jeez. everything about these retcons donny has been doing miss the point even more than the comics he says he loves so much. it’s wild. like i don’t like new ways to die OR new ways to live, remender’s run was okay but i hated the way he wrote eddie, marvel knights spider-man just sucks in general, the hunger 03 also sucks, but like they do feed into each other in a way that.... sort of makes sense....

i just wish there was a way any of the comics would have said, “hey look there are some ways in which eddie is a victim but there are also some ways in which he needs to take responsibility for his actions”

but that kind of nuanced take is impossible for the way these comics are put out and canceled and retconned and so on forever.. it’s so ... ugh.....

the hunger 03 sucks... it also influenced over a decades’ worth of Venom comics including costa’s in its own weird way.... and i just wish we could simultaneously be like, Yes the symbiote is not inherently evil or corrupting but Also it did abuse Eddie, and Yes Eddie has been treated poorly for a great deal of his life and Also is a motherfucker who needs to be held responsible for his actions.

Is this hypocritical to be like, “can we address the 2000s” while also saying “2018 run is not valid”

in my defense even the shitty 2000s were like a continuity and didn’t try to fully retcon every single aspect of venom lore that ever existed (tho it sure did plenty of retconning....) whereas the current run... is doing exactly that....

of course this goddamn run will probably also influence the following comics unless the next writers retcon the retcons or like, ignore it and it gets put into its own earth or something. idk. like no one really counts dark origin right? and that works cause it also had a negligible influence on the rest of the comics. but like, the bad hunger had a very lasting impact on the comics. so i guess we just hope that donny cates, despite currently selling super well, does not actually influence any of the comics that come after?

i don’t fuckin know. i just think it kind of sucks that like “eddie was abused” is something that gets used as either a “lol no that never happened and if you talk about it you hate the symbiote” or else an excuse to demonize the symbiote even after its own character growth arcs in the apparently supremely unpopular gotg and space knight stuff... lol

maybe if every fucking series from 2013 to 2016 (minus costa which is honestly more 2017) didn’t get canned we could have gotten more. like honestly, 2016′s Carnage--for all its flaws--seemed like it had something to say about Eddie as a character, about his flaws and so on, and I gotta wonder where that was going. It flat out says “Venom didn’t make Eddie Brock a bastard” so like? But then at the same time all of the symbiotes in that series were completely silent so? I don’t even know.

Cullen Bunn was clearly going somewhere too but I have no idea where other than “symbiote is alive but has trouble communicating” and “eddie is coming down from his murder spree as he realizes flash thompson is in fact helping people as agent venom”

the two fit together in a very strangely complementary way. sometimes i gotta wonder about a universe in which those two comics in particular ran concurrently to address venom, flash, toxin, and eddie’s many issues. but toxin’s probably gone... though in my heart they are with jubulile and her mom in south africa, learning what it’s like to be part of a loving family...

man. the resigned “Okay.” at the end of twav...... twav good imo.

anyway

i don’t even know what the point of this is. i’m all over the place in this post. it’s frustrating that donny has made it kinda impossible to bring up eddie’s victimhood without like... qualifying it to the ends of the earth to clarify that you don’t think he’s some kind of pure cinnamon roll who’s been dreadfully manipulated for 12 years....

I feel like I’m not making any sense!!! Words are hard.

I feel like I’ve kinda been avoiding writing about the symbiote though in part because it’s hard for me to balance that many characters and in part because of Donny’s stupid bullshit, which is dumb as fuck but I guess that’s what he wanted huh!!!! Need to read Lethal Protector to cleanse my palate but it’s taking forever to get it from the library because they only have one copy.

ugh

The symbiote is not an evil creature like he wants everyone to think... goddammit.... but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t carefully address both its and Eddie’s mistakes without fabricating new different mistakes to obscure the previous ones. Or whatever. Fuckin I don’t know lol the entirety of the continuity is just a bunch of bullshit. 80s-90s continuity largely separate from 2000-20...15ish continuity largely separate AGAIN from the 2016 continuity yet also directly tied to it, against completely separated from the 2018 continuity which is off saying “fuck you” to literally every venom writer to ever exist since Eddie’s conception, ironically including the guy who wrote the cursed hunger

What am I trying to say! I don’t know! i feel like a broken record. There’s a lot of empty space between Agent Venom and 2016 that was never filled! also between 2016 and 2018 lmfao.

Donny “everything went wrong and I’m not going to explain how other than ‘God’ and ‘Eddie lost his job cause screaming symbiote’“ Cates really pullin some shit. what do you mean eddie tends to work toward solving his own problems EVEN WHILE DYING. waid’s mini-story in NWTD showed that eddie, despite being sad and sick and exhausted was still like.... eddie, stubbornly searching out his own solutions and getting angry. ofc i’m not sure how well it succeeded at parts. the comics in those days were still pretty steeped in the weird symbiote hallucinations that it was never clear if they were meant to be caused by the symbiote or just eddie’s sick brain. like the Last Temptation. I have a love-hate relationship with those two issues... I think they’re pretty well-done but also something about them just rubs me the wrong way. 

Anyway back to Cates: it’s not like there wasn’t space for a spiral after FH or anything. You could have really dug into Eddie and the symbiote’s insecurities wrt family and parenting. but nah. let’s just make it so there’s a SECRET CHILD, and oh the pre-established sibling? we could have dug into her and made her a real character. but no, she doesn’t exist, women are either fake or dead or violated.

asshole.

but again like..... the 03 hunger, cursed and bad... like... it’s still workable. you can work with the corrupting forces, the addiction metaphor (on the SYMBIOTE’S part, with adrenaline) and the intense codependency, and still have them move on and into a healthier-by-comparison relationship.

but cates’ run is like... much harder to recover from if it has as lasting of an effect, because it leaves no part untouched, and goes beyond “normal” abuse into really weird unforgiveable territory... like the canon of that comic is the canon in which everything has been completely changed into something unrecognizable.

i joke about my AUs being unrecognizable because, visually at least, they WOULD be unrecognizable for most Venom fans, but the comics inform them as characters a lot in the stories i write in those AUs, from the 96 good hunger, to the 03 bad hunger, to space knight to venom inc, and so on. But donny cates really is out here essentially reverse-engineering retcons to justify his characterizations.

barely related: the way eddie was raised and the way he coped by overachieving and so on and so forth makes me think he would have--despite presumably gaining a great deal of confidence in college once out of his father’s home--been really vulnerable to being taken advantage of by like, other students or teachers, but idk how exactly to articulate what i mean like... uh... not even that he WAS taken advantage of but that his need for validation would have left him open to it... i guess??

that’s got pretty much nothing to do with this post though but kinda ties into what i’ve said before about how i think eddie was a withdrawn and isolated adolescent who only opened up in college. why i disagree with donny’s retcon for that reason in addition to other reasons--the way he’d been shown to be bullied as a kid in previous comics, as well as the lack of history of alcoholism, the clarification in lethal protector that carl wasn’t physical, so on and so forth.

again that’s not related to this post really... and it’s like, a good 50% headcanon, but it makes sense in my head as something that fits his history?? i guess?

[therewas-a-girl]

still dont understand why danny is vilified for that opening scene where she burned the Tarlys, but okay.  

no i cant leave this at that, i need to run through this bullshit to get it off my chest. 

first of, we have tyrion, walking after the battle among the charred remains of the soldiers looking devastated... as if he isnt the man who did the exact same thing to other soldiers, during a battle.  as if he has any right to be sanctimonious when he helped joffrey rule and actively helped his father rule after teh red wedding, and did nothing to even hint he protested against the - one example only - devastation that came from loosening the Mountain in the Riverlands for instance. at least those soldiers died there quickly. who dies faster, someone being burned alive or someone having his chest chewed through by a rat? tyrion is far better in the show than in the books, far more polished, but even in the show he has no room to be sanctimonious about this shit. or is danny supposed to be ‘’’better’‘‘ and she’s supposed to prove that by magically taking over a continent by handing out flowers? 

i have to amend sth here. its not like tyrion could have picked up and left like Shea suggested. in Essos, anywhere really, without the Lannister name, Tyrion’s life would have been entirely defined by his disability, and that is not fair. its not fair to ask him to chose that - when speaking against his dad would mean exactly that for him, perhaps. idk. But still, i don’t think he has room to act like danny did something unforgivable. 

maybe believing in her meant that he believed she was better than all of them, idk. maybe he’s just disappointed that in war, she looks just like everyone else. idk.

yeah she used drogon to intimidate. so did robb stark - use his ‘big as a horse’ fucking direwolf. sit down. 

‘im not here to murder’ - called out as if its hypocritical. i need someone who is versed in the law to tell me about the difference between two sides killing each other in open battle after having declared war. and one part indiscriminately killing the other in circumstances that had not been expected and that break the sacred laws of the land. like say, slaughtering people at a wedding after offering them hospitality. bowing up all the nobility of the capital in a holy building. 

and that’s not to say that it means a lot to say ‘someone is better than tywin or cersei’. it’s actually to express my deep frustration with how unbelivable it is than anyone would stay faithful to someone like that, or to the legacy the lannisters are leaving behind. because jamie is dead wrong on one thing: people do care how they are building this world. 

lmao Tarly being faithful to Cersei is just.. beyond me, honestly. why dude? how am i supposed to believe that? 

‘say what you will but at least cersei was born in Westeros’ MOTHERFUCKER SO WAS DAENERYS  BITCH WHAT THE FUCK

‘lived here all her life’ THIS HOE IS TRYING MY PATIENCE SO HARD. DOES THIS BALD COCK NOT REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED TO RHAENYS, AEGON, ELIA????? DOES HE NOT REMEMBER IT WAS HIS ARMY THAT WAS BESIEGING STORM’S END ON THE ORDERS OF HER FATHER???? THIS MOTHERFUCKER !!! 

correction... d&d. THOSE motherfuckers 

i hate how Tarly is acting like Danny was away on some long vacation or something. like she has no right to be there and her family never ruled for 300 years. Danny comes off as so entitled and demanding because literally - and here is the proof - she has to shout ‘i will take what is mine’ five times as harder as say, Stannis, to be even glanced at, let alone taken seriously. and people have the gall to sit there and point their noses in the air to over the fact that, no, she happens not to have anymore patience for being insulted to her face when she offers to release the Prisoners of War she made, and not say, execute them so that hse doest have to feed them. like its usually the way in westeros. 

fuck this asshole, in short

lmfao ‘A FOREIGN INVADER WITH NO TIES TO THIS LAND’. i mean... what, do the Tarly now resent the Targaryens for the Conquest from as far back as 300 years ago and still call them foreigners? who knows! certainly not me. 

‘an army of savages at her back.’ seriously. he’s insulted her, her family, the slaughter done to them, the people who follow her, who bled and died for her, and her offer of mercy, TWICE. at this point danny is not just justified in killing him but seriously, this fucker is suicidal. 

lmao DickOn wants to die with his dad. 

someone tell me why i am supposed to sympathize with them? why im supposed to treat danny’s reaction as unreasonable or even cruel beyond any measure? she gave them a choice. literally, many choices and they found a way to refuse every single one. 

i get that danny is the “savior” and everything, but i find it deeply unfair to hold her to impossibly high standards of behavior. even when she takes actions that are, in the universe of the show, wholly reasonably things, she suddenly becomes ‘the mad queen’. what’s up with that? there was nothing mad about any of what she did. she just didnt do the PERFECT thing, and yet, people seem to be dying for her to be the villain. ‘not perfect’, doesn't mean ‘more villainous than the great other’ 

still can’t believe that she is judjed harshly for a scene where even that dick tarly said ‘there are hard choices at war’ as if he had any right to say it. but he did say it though. when tarly made his imperfect choice, he was ‘not willing to give up his honor for his lands’ tho, and it was to be respected. when danny made her imperfect choice, she’s the ‘mad queen’ 

lol 

no. just no. 

[inthehouseofflies-blog1]

♖ (modern!Lucy, WSW!Don, CoC!Torleik, CoC!Kon, CoC!Lisel) // ♞ (Midyan, Modern!Don, WSW!Lucy, CoC!Damian, CoC!Christoph) //♟(Modern!Gideon, WSW!Mary, CoC!Eve, CoC!Claus, CoC!Viviette) // ☂ (Modern!Mary, Velius, CoC!Viktorya, CoC!Eudora) // ♨ (Modern!Eli, WSW!Wallas, WSW!Julien, CoC!Louis, CoC!Viala)

♖ for one of my muses guilty pleasures //

Lucy (Modern)I think she loves reality television. She knows how incredibly scripted and empty it all is, but she can’t help but get sucked in on a day off and binge watch entire seasons of it. Lucy would also never admit it, but on particularly lonely nights, she reads them while taking a long bubble bath.

Donovan (HP)Guilty is the key word here and it makes this very hard. I think one of the things he does that he isn’t too proud of but absolutely enjoys, is sitting for hours on his bedroom floor while looking over all his medals, photos, memorabilia, etc. of his glory days. He knows it’s pathetic, but he likes to remember that at some point in his life, he was somebody.

Torleik (CoC) It’s not incredibly different or unusual in Arvidor, but for Torleik, taking time to admire the beauty of the trees and unique greenery of his land is definitely something to be ashamed of. Not that he’s ashamed of admitting that Arvidor is vastle beautiful and even that kind of beauty isn’t lost on someone like him, but that he wasn’t actively being productive. That’s what he’d be ashamed of.

Konstantin (CoC) Oh, Konstantin has about a thousand. Everything he loves is a guilty pleasure. From sucking off his cousin (LOL)  to spending twice the amount of time getting ready that normal Vollstachtian men do... Konstantin is constantly in a state of guilt. And his relatives don’t exactly make it easy for him. After all, this is the land of fire and steel and here he is fussing over the exact placement of the ruffles on his cravat and bitching his twin sister up and down for her heinous taste in men.

Liselotte (CoC) I think she certainly feels and does regrettable things, but I’m not sure she feels guilty for any... From wishing she was dead (to be with her parents), to forcing Raphael to spend time with her when it clearly bothers him in some way, to defying her uncle at every turn... I don’t know that what she enjoys, she feels guilty for. Huh... I’ll have to think more about this one, because I feel there’s something I’m forgetting. OH, you know what... she does take pleasure in having Killian’s attention, but also feels guilty for wanting it because of their first “disagreement”. I think some part of her knows she should loathe him for that but... I DON’T KNOW. Confused child, confusing me.

♞ for something that my muse wants to do //

Midyan (Main) More than anything, he wants to return to the under realm with Miryam and return to doing what they were born to do. However, he’d never admit that the toll the mortal world is taking on him is very, very real. And he knows Miryam is enjoying their banishment, and would never force her back with him. He knows they may soon come to an impasse and it keeps him up at night.

Donovan (Modern)Oh man, he’s so motivated now that Bailey is in his life. Donovan was content to his shitty, pathetic life. Even on the path to recovery from his alcoholism, he wasn’t exactly excited about it. But with Bailey... now he wants to get a good job, get a nicer place in a good part of town, make it comfortable for her... for them. He wants to build a life for them; he sees his future only with her or he doesn’t have one at all.

Lucy (HP)She wants to live outside her identity as a squib. Even though she’s more valuable than ever, she wants to be valuable for more than just that. I think, sometimes, when she’s tired at the end of her shift, she wishes she had someone to curl up next to. Thank God for Rhea, because sometimes a best friend is exactly what she needs (and they have similar struggles about being known for something that isn’t them as a whole), but Lucy has never been loved outside of that. It’s am empty part of herself she doesn’t know needs filling just yet.

Damian (CoC)He wants to marry Aniah and return to the man he was before at the same time. He craves his status, his reputation, his attitude being returned. And honestly, if she says yes to him, it will all flood back. He’ll be stronger, actually. Far more charming; more in control; a better player on the grand, political stage that is court life.

Christoph (CoC) Christoph wants to bring his old pal back. He wants to get Rafael back to his old self (just short of the arrogance which got him cursed, of course) and he wants all his cousins to be happy again. He wants the old life back with all its fun. None of these politics and new dangers at court. He’d also like for Vollstacht to embrace Kiya because honestly, look at that face. Come on, now.

♟ for something my muse admires

Gideon (Modern) Alice. He absolutely admires her strength. She can smile even in the worst circumstances. She has the kind of resiliance that he believes is rare and massively valuable. Before, it may have been a struggle to get it out of him, but he would readily confess it to her now. Maybe soon, of his own volition, when they’re in a hospital room and a baby is on the way.

Mary (HP) Neil. God, she thinks so fucking highly of him. There is no better man in her eyes, no better way of being. Aside from how hard he punishes himself by working until he’s damn-near dead, Mary absolutely thinks he is the ideal human being. Kind, generous, strong, intelligent, honorable, courageous, loyal, loves his family. She could go on and on about how many things there are to admire in Neil Lockewood. She absolutely feels that everyone is his inferior.

Evelyn (CoC) I know it says “something” my muse admires and not “someone” but AH WELL. Evelyn is a pretty... vapid, self-centered thing; admiration is hard to find inside her selfish, little heart. For Umbra Lui’s sake, she calls her orphaned and prematurely-crowned cousin “leftovers.” lmfao If she admires anyone, it would be Malakai. He’s handsome, wealthy, a successful king at a young age. I think she would admire Afasa if she ever crossed paths with the man. Wealth, power, and a face worth swooning over; that’s what Evelyn admires.Claus (CoC) Those in power who do not abuse it. Caldreus is a good example. Though Caldreus often causes eye-rolls so hard that they hurt, Claus is a firm believer that he is a very good king who has never used his power unless it was for the good of those whose lives depend on his decisions. Ambition for one’s own-self and one’s own alone is abhorrent.Viviette (CoC) When one sticks to their guns. She can always find some admiration for a person who, even against all odds or rebuttal, remains steadfast in their belief or cause. Those who backtrack, who correct themselves even with good reason, are not well-liked by a queen who cannot be told anything other than what she already thinks.

☂ for something my muse wants to protect

Mary (Modern) Bailey. In any of her modern verses, no matter what her situation is, she wants to protect Bailey and whatever makes Bailey happy. For example, with the whole issue of Don being too old for her (and the last person her parents would want her with): Mary immediately offered shelter from the storm. She wants Bailey happy because Mary knows that out of everyone in the world, Bailey deserves it most. Mary would throw down everything to protect her best friend. NOT HAVE FEELINGS FOR. Because Lord knows that if any kind of authority got wind of it, or if those relationships were made public... all hell would break loose, and Mary might just kill herself.

Velius (Main) Himself. Looking out for number one, always. Whatever he wants, loves, admires, needs, etc., Velius comes first.

Viktoriya (CoC) Gael and Giselle, her adopted family. She owes them so much, and although her mere existence is an insult (as her true identity is bound forever with tragedies that befell them both), she would give anything (or do anything) to see them safe. 

Eudora (CoC) Her last family member, Zosime. While Eudora has a large heart, there is no one who consumes it more than her big sister, Zosime. Eudora only ever wants to see Zosime happy and healthy, and anyone who would jeopardize that would be met with (probably futile) resistance.

♨ for something that relaxes my muse

Eli (Modern) Pot. Honestly, getting high. Xanax sometimes, but mostly he likes to smoke. Alcohol is more of a party choice. Oh, and “Friends” (the show). Pot and “Friends.”Wallas (HP) He loves to sit and read magizoology books with a large cup of hot English breakfast tea in hand. A good pair of pajama pants, soft robe, and we’re in business. Absolute bliss.

Julien (HP) Laying in bed all day with his little wife. At least, he’s going to make her his wife as soon as the smoke clears and they won’t be bothered. But yes, nothing is more relaxing than laying naked or semi-naked in a tangle of silky sheets with her. They could just talk for hours, or say nothing at all, instead passing time by tracing delicate shapes with their fingertips on each others skin. Julien just wants to be with her, be comfortable, and not be bothered by the world outside. Before Bailey, he liked to smoke, to take an assortment of mild wizard drugs, and look at paintings.

Louis (CoC) Cooking, gardening, cleaning. I imagine servants have gotten frustrated with him many times because he insists on doing things himself. After a hard life of combat, court life, and protecting princesses from all that is out to get them... domestic life is sweet, quiet bliss.Viala (CoC) Gabriel time. When he can afford to sit with her in her tower, Viala is most at ease. She likes to lounge around and hum little tunes while playing (and most times, successfully tangling) his long, dirty blond hair. She likes it when he tells her stories, when he talks to her about the comings and goings of the court she doesn’t often get to visit.

[survivormyanmar-blog]

Ep. #12 - “Get Over Yourselves and Play The Damn Game” - Ashley

Immunity was posted and it was Back and Forth which involves cutting your fellow tribe mates in order to advance.  Sam and Ting Ting were both targeted early in the challenge and Ashley went on to win Immunity.  After Immunity, Ashley approached her alliance of Amanda and Tommy to vote off Sam with the help of Leah.  Little did she know that Tommy was not actually with them and was working both sides and went to Ting Ting and Sam to vote off Leah.  The three of them were able to convince Linus to work with them to get majority and took out Leah in a 4-3 vote as they thought Leah, Amanda, and Ashley were a tight threesome.  With that, Linus was the only fan remaining.

do these people know nothing about subtlety? at least I won't go on that immunity run like jay said.

So Jay is finally freaking gone. About time. I even got Linus in on the vote somehow. So that is pretty sweet. I am going to try and look into that relationship more because I definitely think something is there. I still have my idol. I was really contemplating using it but at the last second I decided to have some hope for once in my goddamn life. And look where we ended up! I am still alive!

Well I won immunity! This is a really nice feeling. I am guaranteed a spot in the f6. AND I STILL HAVE AN IDOL. I am screaming rn. Like on cloud nine. This shit is great. Hopefully next tribal isn't as freaking frustrating, which of course it shouldn't be; Jay is gone ;) Maybe targeting Sam? Maybe even Ting Ting. Cuz after looking at her moves with our last challenge, she definitely targeted Amanda and I, even before we were ahead of the rest of them, sooo I don't exactly know her business but I sure as hell am gunna get all up in it.  

YAY IT WORKED! JAY IS OUT! So now I just really have to rely on Ting Ting and Sam voting with me from here on out. I also have a pretty unique relationship with Linus and an alliance chat with Amanda/Ashley from the Christian vote. So this round I would ideally want out Leah because she's kind of a goat and if she doesn't go soon everyone will want to go to the end with her. Also out of everyone left in the game I feel she is the least likely to talk game with me.  Lastly, long term people will want to go to the end with Leah and nobody will be willing to take her out in a few tribals from now so they'll continuously not target her and that can be fatal to my game. Also Amanda is a much bigger target to keep in the game and keeping Amanda in will keep Linus more likely to vote with Ting Ting, Sam, and I which will work to our benefit.   My plan for this vote is to talk with Ting Ting and Sam and keep us all together but by doing that we have to keep the secret bond between Sam/I's bond to Ting Ting a secret from everyone else so none of us go and have a majority on the numbers come Final 5. So Ting Ting and I put in a plan that we can get Linus to vote with us by me approaching Linus and myself saying we need to break up the fearsome3some of Ashley/Amanda/Leah. I think this plan has a good chance of working out tbh. Leah going this tribal would be fantastic. If this plan works out Final 6 is Ashley/Amanda/Ting Ting/Sam/Linus/Myself. I would ideally want Ashley out next because she has won 3 individual immunities, has better ties with people than Amanda (especially Linus which is the most concerning), and her smart strategic plays, and social bonds. If we are able to pull of a blindside on her next it'd be great. We'd need myself, Ting Ting, Linus, or Sam to win immunity though. If that plan works out Final 5 is Amanda/Ting Ting/Sam/Linus/Myself would be left and ideally we want Linus to still be against Amanda. We'd need myself, Sam, or Ting Ting to win immunity. Then I think this would be the perfect time to get Amanda to vote for Linus and Linus to vote for Amanda, and cause a 3-2 vote with Linus getting the majority of the votes because he's less of a jury threat than Amanda and way better at comps and I think he can totally rock that Final Immunity if he can get there, if it's a Final 3. If that plan works out the ideal Final 4 is Amanda/Ting Ting/Sam/Myself. This way if we look at the jury Amanda has Steffen, Christian, Leah, Ashley, and possibly Jay which I think Ting Ting and Sam will be able to see by that point and consider Amanda a major jury threat and would win in any Final 3 scenario with us 3 remaining which would give us the reason to give her the boot. We'd just need for Sam, Ting Ting, or Myself to win immunity and cause a 3-1 vote with Amanda leaving which I think is possible. Final 3 I'd ideally want to be sitting next to Sam and Ting Ting whether that it's Final Tribal or the last tribal before a Final 2 because I feel I've made good connections with both of them and been so close to both through out the entire game. If it's a Final Tribal I feel I have an okay shot at winning next to them. Honestly, just getting to the end will make me relieved. For now I just need to continue on my bonds and plans and make sure people don't go after me, turn up the comp skill, and make my way to the end.  

Okay so I am immune and we have tribal in 4 hours AND NO ONE HAS SAID A THING. At the point I am just throwing out Sam's name cuz I think it is about time for him to go. I know I probably couldn't beat him in the end and therefore I kinda want him gone. I am taking a leadership role in this vote and I think I will hate myself in the future for it but shit needs to get done. It is like no one has the balls to say anything so they don't hurt anyone's feelings. Like come on. Suck my dick, get over yourselves and play the damn game. Also omg I think I am starting to like Leah because she is fucking insane like me and we are essentially the same human.

Trevor: *Sends confessionals link to tribe chat* Haven't gotten any!!! Me: Bish I literally just sent one.

*lowkey don't care about this tribal cause I know the 7th place chat is lit and I would be content going there lmfao*

Ashley and Tommy like to laugh at me for sleeping too much when they wanna strategize. ITS NOT MY FAULT THEY WAKE UP AT LIKE 7AM I'm basically nocturnal I cant help it. At this point they should call me Sleeping Beauty and call it a day

Okay y'all this Sam vote has been too easy, I am feeling a little sketched but I am immune soooooo. I just don't want someone close to me to leave. I don't quite trust Ting Ting 100% because she targeted Amanda and I in the last challenge, and then Amanda mostly. So I am a little confused as to why. Linus might be close to Sam so we might have just risked Sam finding out. From what people are saying, it seems like the vote would be a 6-1. But is Fucking Sam plays an idol whoever he chooses will be screwed. So I am thinking someone might have to throw out a vote on someone like Ting Ting or Leah just to be safe. But I just have to find someone willing.

okay so ting ting told me that ashley is pushing for my name which doesn't surprise me. she has immunity so she's probably trying to call some big shots. i'm working on linus to try to get him, myself, tommy, and ting ting to vote for leah. if all works and there's no idols, i'll be in the final 6 for the first time ever! but anything can happen, so i'm going to keep doing all the work i can.

"No one mourns the Wicked! No one cries they won't return. No one lays a lily on their grave." -Wicked (2003 musical) So Jay is gone :( . I'm kind of torn on how to feel about this. Sure she was shady as hell to most people in the game and a huge flipper, but like, she was always honest with me about where her head was at. Now on one hand my closest ally is out the door, but on the other I think multiple groups are seeing me as a possible extra number for them. In the Challenge Ashley teamed up with me  (She made deals with other people too, but at least I think that means Im not at the top of her hitlist) and she also somewhat tried to revive the "The only goddamn trustworthy people left chat". On the other side I have Tommy who I talked to for over an hour with yesterday in a skype call who wants me to side with him. Right now my play is Im trying to solidify a final 2 deal with Ting possibly. I know shes lied to some people, so Im hoping the trust isn't misplaced on my part, but I think I can play it up like with Jay gone I'm just going to become her extra vote. As it stands I think this round Im siding with Tommy and Sam, and hopefully Ting votes with us. Ashley's saying she hasnt heard anything about the vote at all, which is usually a red flag, but with her you never know since she's said that to me every round until like 2 hours before the vote :/ . I really do feel like there could be a f3 deal with her, Amanda and Leah so I want to get to strike while the iron is hot. The biggest problem with going against them though is that it seems like Tommy, Sam and Ting would most want to target Leah. Getting Leah out is kind of a mixed bag for my game. In one sense, Im pretty sure shes been going for me for a while, and if I make the end I can say that I was the fan who did what none of the others could. Thats also the problem with it though. If I become the last fan standing (Get it, like the famous saying last man standing but with an f instead of an m, Im so funny) then maybe others don't want to take me to the end so much since it possibly increases my shot at the end. On top of that, Leah is clearly been the least influential player so even with her wanting me out there hasn't been a vote cast against me since the Steffen boot.

Alright first, alliances and such: Ok it just makes me laugh so much that no one knows how close Tommy and I are in this game. Like omg. We literally swap info daily about the going ons. Like he's close with Ashley and Amanda and I got Linus it's great. Also Linus is nice and he's in a good strategic position for the remainder of the game. Like if he swaps, then boom there goes a vote. Sam is cool. He's really good at comps so he'll probably get immunity for like the rest of the game if he makes it through this vote. Leah is chill, I definitely think she's more focused on BB which is cool. Ashley and Amanda like don't trust me which i'm like fine whatever. Next, this vote: So basically Tommy, Sam, Linus (hopefully), and I are going for Leah this round because there's that Ashley, Amanda, Leah like final three alliance going on that needs to break up before final 6. Like strategically having three people in the game that are really close is bad because that's basically a majority right there going into f6. Ashley thinks that it's gonna be a 6-1 on Sam and he's leaving but... ;). Anyways, my only goal is to get to f5 to figure out what that legacy advantage is (shoutout to Steffen). Hopefully i can make it there. 2 more tribals. Also the cave can go to hell along with the hosts because they are evil people.

ashley actually thinks imma vote for amanda i cannot wait to SHAKE her geez if this all works it's gonna be amazeballs.

my heart my heart my heart that was so awesome. so awesome. i just i omg that was amazing amazing. ashley left that chat so fast!

yikes ashley like you were pushing for me to leave why am i supposed to tell you things

[lullabiesandgoodbyes]

nharidy replied to your post “Just to add : I'm sorry if I'm going to hurt...”@lullabiesandgoodbyes I absolutely don't mind it!...

Please, talk away all you want! I too really enjoy discussing this show and discussions with you are always thought-provoking and interesting. It’s fine, I completely understand! I know how it’s like to get super frustrated over a character, not because of what their canon version is like, but because of the very-loud rose-tinted fanon. And I completely agree about Sergio. He honestly had some of the best, complex writing and arc in the show. And the flaws there are, are more narrative flaws than character-writing flaws. Sergio is no way a saint, nor is he a selfless heart-less Devil. (ex. It’s interesting how wide (and wrong, in both cases) the difference is between the rose-tinted lens of his fans and Serquel shippers, and the depiction of him as the one horrible devil in some Berlermo spaces where he’s made to bear the fault of the berlermo tragedy. In my opinion, neither of those depictions of him have much to do with canon lmfao. And we won’t be doing the character or the show any favor by simplifying him to that extent). The case with the bank heist is interesting because most of the faults/plot holes, go back to the many conflicting things Alex Pina wanted to do at the same time, and the fact that he didn’t figure how to end it throughout seasom 3 and 4, and even changed the ending he did decide upon eventually. Those conflictings things are mainly going with the ‘there is no way out from the bank’ both because the writers themselves didn’t know a way out yet and because they wanted a good reason WHY Sergio rejected the plan so much before, why we didn’t have Palermo in Part 1, etc etc. But honestly speaking, I completely agree with you over Berlin and the suicidal plan. I only disagree with some minor details (I believe it WAS Palermo was designed the entire plan, and he knew that Berlin wanted it to be a suicide one and it was his actual idea that they’d go down together in a plan that he made as a “poem” for him. I don’t think Berlin is the one who designed the plan in the first place, and that Palermo just followed him because he loved him. I’m actually SO convinced the gold plan was always meant as a suicide plan that this is the core of the first ever berlermo fic I wrote. So 100% agreed there was never meant to be a way out. But since Sergio adopted the plan, the writers couldn’t go this route. At the end they had to have a ‘sergio had already figured a way out after his brother’s death’ which is, meh, I get that they wanted to end the show. But it’s mostly a fault of not thinking things through from the start’ rather than a fault of Sergio’s, the character.

YES! This is exactly the problem. If you wanted it to be a war, then fine it should have been an ACTUAL war. Throw the characters against themselves, as you said. And honestly this is the major problem with the ending, not just that it was weak and ineffective on its own. But because all foreshadows and narrative choices were eventually not answered for. It’s very clear how this ending was made-up disregarding the entirety of season 3 and 4. Denver’s entire season 3 and 4 storyline was leading up to EXACTLY his betrayel. The whole thing with this ‘plan is suicidal’ a long storyline of its own right, should have led up to more than one character (Tokyo) dying for it. Palermo’s entire narrative was leading up to his death. Etc etc. All those foreshadows, narrative choices, narration choices, dialogues, points of focus for the characters and the plan, etc, all led up to nothing with this ending. And this is why it’s so weak. I understand you! It would have broken both Monica and Denver (and this was my intention to show how much it would have damaged their psyche with the little ficlet I wrote) them having their happy-ever-after and running into the sunset should have been the stuff of fanfiction. Not the literal ending of the show. It doesn’t fit. It doesn’t work with season 3 and 4. Exactly! I wouldn’t have went with ‘everyone died. Only Tokyo survived’ thing. But some of them SHOULD have died. Some should have done things they’d never do (a youngster like Rio should have killed in cold blood yes) and Alicia too, exactly as you said. irreparable things shoulf have happened. More sacrfices. More betrayels. Some caught and sent to prison. The few ones who get out, they get out TRULY damaged. Yes, with hope that things might get better someday. It should have been bittersweet. They got the gold, but at what cost? At what true cost? All the hype Sergio and the show did over the gold heist in season 3 and 4 led to nothing. They lost more in the mint lmfao. La casa de papel, season 1 and 2 especially, were great precisely for the reasons you said.

Genuienly speaking, Berlin is one of my top favourite characters, not because he’s “relatable” but because he’s fascinating and complex. He’s not just this or that. He’s sociopathic, but he’s also a deeply depressed and broken man. He’s selfish and manipulative, but he can be insanely selfless with the people he loves. He’s horrible, but still has a moral compass. But yes, I see how fandoms and discussions here lack nuance a lot. If you see any of my other posts regarding Berlin and Palermo, you’d know much i reject this simplistic view of them and hailing them ‘as actually good deep down’ or whatever. And I reject this with Sergio as well. But it is as frustrating to me as it is to you! I absolutely don’t mind it! Thank you for sharing your thoughts! Have a nice week♥

(I’m seeing now I should have been smart enough to reblog with my full reply haha, but alas, can’t go back now)

LOL hope you don't mind I made the recap... 😅

First, thank you so much for your kind words. I once got shunned out of a LCDP forum for ' talking too much, ' it feels nice to have an actual conversation about this show and its characters. 🤍

I feel like AP wasn't sure how to finish the Bank heist at first, but he also ended up with his hands tight by the fandom's pressure for the ending they wanted. I might complain a lot about writers who fall into the audience trap and lose track of their creation's core but the truth is, since storytelling is a business, like pretty much anything else, it HAS to be frustrating, trying to tell your stories while knowing that you need the fandom's support to keep sharing them - and fandom only cares about their interpretation of the story. I still wonder what his original ending consisted of; I'd like to know which of his alternate endings got to be shot, since it seems like they filmed some other options. Because, deep inside, I still think there was a lot of damage control in the final volumes. They never showed any trouble in killing fan favorites or shaking things along the way...

I know that, in what comes to the final play, it was mostly a writing flaw, not Sergio's himself, it's (once again) the fandom's voice about it. It's having to read those " of course Sergio had to be the one to put himself at risk by entering the Bank to save their asses, those clowns can't do anything right, not even to save themselves " comments when this time is was obvious the plan wasn't so well-thought as before. It's the failure to (once again) see Sergio, the character, as a complex man with a good and a bad side, like everyone else. And my sister keeps saying it's stupid to feel this hard for a fictional show, I just can't help myself. 😅

[ by the way, interesting opinion regarding Palermo's role in the first plan design; I'm not fully on it so far, since I spent too many years believing the opposite, but that's something to consider ]

This second heist felt a bit over the place since P3 to me; guess I wasn't holding my breath for things to be as good as before, but I still had my hopes that they'd turn the switch at some point. I had my own interpretations of what life had done to those characters after the Mint, so it was a bit strange to face other narrative choices - I was still open to accept them, of course, as long as they made sense. The problem was that too many of those choices eventually lead to nowhere... The flashback tool, so well used in the first seasons, became a terrible device since it didn't add a thing to their arcs, it only turned them more confusing. I could never properly process Nairobi's death because what was even the point of it? Why use her son to betray her first, then throw a random flashback of her asking Sergio to father a new child with her if Nairobi's tragedy fell down with her? Too many loose ends, too many characters going through major breaks that served them for nothing. I'm going to be honest, I would have been devastating to me to watch these characters I learned to love and care for being emotionally broken after surviving the Bank [ if it serves for anything, that Mónica x Denver ficlet of yours hurt a lot, despite being so wonderfully written, because I do care about them and I actually wanted them to (re)find happiness some day ], but that was what I was expecting after their own hype and promises and I felt kind of scammed by the final chapter. This new installment was dark and those smiles being the last picture you have from them didn't comply to the particular tone of these seasons.

Ok, you and I - well, we still have very different points of view over Berlin. 🤓 But I know you don't gloss over his worst moments [ namely Ariadna's rape ] and I'm grateful for that. I don't want to keep pushing for my opinions over his character, I just guess I wouldn't fume as much at the mention of his name if the fandom didn't paint him as a charming martyr who should be excused from everything because of some sad background story - or because they simply hate women.

Have a wonderful weekend. 💖

Just to add : I'm sorry if I'm going to hurt someone's feelings, but I *really* wanted Denver to betray the Professor. I was always very bothered at the way he guilt-induced him to participate in the new heist when he clearly didn't want to, how he minimized his loss as a "we all made mistakes, so stop victimizing yourself and move on" as if Moscow's death didn't matter. [1/2]

I know eventually Denver joined because of Stockholm's insistance on being part of it, but Sergio used him - all of them - to fill his own agenda (avenge his brother's death, not even saving Rio) and I really wanted the show to expose the Professor as the selfish man he too was, not just the genius with an answer always ready to throw and save everyone's asses. [2/2]

First off, I'm sure no one's feelings here will be hurt; all we're doing is discussing the show! Nothing is personal, and if views differ, then that's normal. But yes! I essentially very much agree with this. The more I think of it when I remember the finale, the more I wish that had happened instead. I wholly believe that would have elevated the effectiness of the finale to a whole other level. This finale was good in a very neutral way, and while I prefer it to some GOT-like ending, I still can only think of it a sentimental AND a coward's way out. There was no risk taken in the writing of the ending, no really pushing the show to another level; they were obsessed with the war war war thing, but what actually happens in wars is that people do betray each other, people do choose to save their own skin, people do go to abhorrent lengths to save their familes and loved ones. The show wanted grandness and war-level action and imagery, without dealing at all with the complexity that comes with this. Which is very stupid in my opinion, why create situations like this if the characters won't act accordingly? If the situations won't get actions out of them that would have otherwise never would? At the end, an entire season was wasted on just cool action scenes, that was all Alex Pina wanted from the "war" lmfao. Denver betraying the banda to save his family would have been iconic. It would have been horrible, yes, a terrible terrible thing that's happening in a terrible terrible situation. But it would have been magnificent, and it's tailor-made for Denver. Not that Denver is a shitty person, on the contrary, it's exactly because he's not. He named his son after a city because he saw these people as family, he loves them. What a wasted chance to put him in front of this impossible decision and have him actually choose. Wrong or right isn't the point because there is no wrong or right choice here, it's a horrible situation and yes, some people would hate him, other will say his decision is understandable, but what it would certainly have done is lead to some actual real consequences, it would have left a true mark on the plot.

While I see where you're coming from in the next part, I don't wholly agree with you. Sergio's speech was guilt-tripping and manipulative to a certain level, but I don't think what he was saying is 'Moscow's death doesn't matter' or 'Don't victimize yourself and move on', I think it was just more 'we've all done horrible mistakes that others from this very team had to pay for, including my brother with his life, and what Rio did is a mistake too, but he doesn't deserve to die with no one coming for him.' Sergio is a very complex character, and it would be unfair to him, as it would be to any character, to simplify his motivations to just one or the other. He's definitely a selfish man. He's also a man who deeply loves his brother and doesn't know how to grieve without avenging him, and without bringing his dream-heist to life the way he did with his father. He also cared for Rio and felt responsible for the banda. He can be all of those things at once, and I think volume 2 did that part justice; it completely addressed it! The scenes with Raquel, the scenes with Alicia, with Martin, etc. The show did focus on this, on Sergio's own desire to do this, and Sergio himself admitted it.

On a certain level, Sergio might have used them to fulfil his own desires (the heists are his after all, it's always going to be his own motivations behind them) but all those other characters went into this for their own reasons too, which weren't all that "noble" or any less selfish, so I don't think they were really victims of Sergio's manipulation.

But that's not really the point. I wouldn't say Denver had the right, moral right or otherwise, to betray them because he was manipulated into this from the start. It's not about justification to me. It's about a reaction that would have been more real, more interesting, and one that is simply hard. On the battlefield they were on, the line between right and wrong is eschewed. Just like Palermo said, in Hell there is no right or wrong side. It would have been much, much more interesting to me if Denver had betrayed them and the professor forgave him anyway. Because he understood.