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wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart · 1 year ago

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1 2 3 (can also be read as a standalone)

my awesome steve playlist ; Ao3

STEVE LOOKS AT HIS BIG EMPTY HOUSE AND THINKS FUCK IT

(ft. the beginnings of a beautiful friendship and shitting on the school dress code)

Steve has always been fascinated by the act of creating.

His father is a very strict and traditional man. Everything has a specific way it ought to be, and anything that deviates from this fixed set of beliefs is simply wrong. (No, don't go into the kitchen, Stephen. Why do you need so long to get ready, Stephen. This type of music isn't fit for a Harrington, Stephen.)

He finds it kind of ironic. According to the bible, Eve was created from Adam's rib. And yet, according to his father, it is only the woman that creates. It is the woman who creates homemade meals for the rest of the family. It is the woman who creates tales and stories to put the children to sleep. It is the woman who creates patterns and fabric and clothing out of loose textiles and yarn.

Steve isn't completely sure what the man is supposed to do. When his father is home, he mostly disappears in his study or watches TV. (Steve finds it kind of sad)

He supposes he should be grateful that his father is always so eager to leave. Maybe he would have convinced Steve of this trist world he seems to live in if he had had more time to whisper it into his ears. But as things are, Steve loves to create. It soothes something deep in his soul to watch his weird little trauma-bonded ragtag group of kids engorge themselves on a meal that he created. (And Hopper. Nobody appreciates his cooking more than Hopper.) It makes him feel in peace with himself to start his day by fertilizing and watering and occasionally repotting his plants. (The Golden Girls seem to be particularly effective in that regard). It makes him feel accomplished to see his babies thriving and growing, a visible proof of being needed. It makes him feel more comfortable in his own skin to be able to create a more genuine version of himself - with his face as his canvas - one he can somewhat recognize in the mirror.

He'd like to say that he managed to free himself of most prejudices his father somewhat attempted to breed into him by the time he is slinging ice cream at Scoops Ahoy! . (To say that his father tried his hardest when it came to anything regarding his family would be a gross overstatement.)

Steve had not been a good student.

First he threw meaningless party after meaningless party in an attempt to fill all the empty space his parents left behind.

Then he got together with Nancy, and he had never studied more. Which would've been great, if something about her learning style didn't just refuse to work with him. All the stupid facts he needed to know just didn't want to get into his head (he was trying, okay?! He tried to explain it to Nancy when she said that he was smart and just had to "apply himself more". But "this is just too boring" sounds like a weak excuse even to his own ears. And he really tries to be less lazy, everyone else seems to manage it just fine, but he just can't do it.

He leaned into it after a while. Pretended to be more dumb and oblivious and obtuse than he really is. Because then it wouldn't be his fault. It would be something outside of his control. Bad genes or just rotten luck.

It hurt a bit, how easily people believed him. And you know what they say, if you hear something often enough....)

And after that he was a bit too busy being terrified 24/7 and trying to deal with the aftermath of multiple concussions on his own. He was honestly surprised that he actually managed to graduate, half-expected to become another Eddie Munson.

That is all to say that you really don't have to be fucking Einstein to realize that skimpy sailor clothing that barely manages to cover your butt does not mesh well with ice cream that needs to be kept in negative temperatures at all times. But Scoops Ahoy! would need to actually care about its employees to change something about it, which - especially with communists and socialists and whatnot hiding in every corner wanting nothing more than to destroy America or something - was not very likely. To say the least.

One day Steve wakes up with a running nose and an itch in the back of his throat. It is not enough to call in sick, but it is enough for him to think fuck it and bundle up in a scarf and a cashmere jacket that actually belongs to his mother (it is ridiculously soft and it matches to the rest of the outfit so leave him alone, okay?!). As long as he is still wearing the stupid sailor's hat management can't complain.

Or that is what he thinks. Until his boss decides that today of all days is a great day to go to the mall, another jackass (that he is going to kill very slowly and painfully) loudly complains about the extra layers (THAT HE IS WEARING SO HE WON'T BECOME SICK AND THUS BE ABLE TO WORK MORE?!), and boss takes that as his cue to stomp into Scoops and loudly lecture him about "branding" and "marketability" and "wasted assets". Of course the universe decides that right now is not the absolutely perfect time to make a Demogorgon appear that releases everyone present from their misery. He barely has left the shop again when Robin is already laughing so hard she has to take her break earlier.

The next time he looks at the damned board there is another point under the "you suck" column. He argues that he should get one in the "you rule" category simply because someone looked at him in this horrible horrible uniform and thought that hiding all this was enough of a crime to literally complain to his boss. He must be a truly pitiful sight because she eventually relents.

Here is the thing about Robin. She is funny. She is snarky. She knew who he was in Highschool - hell, she was part of the group he used to terrorize for no reason - but she doesn't hold it against him. Sure, she will make fun of him and the "you suck" - game (which he insists should be renamed to the "you rule" - game) certainly wasn't his idea. But it doesn't feel angry or malicious. At least not anymore. Sure, her only way of communication seems to be bad jokes at his expense and she doesn't really notice when she occasionally crosses a line. But it still somehow feels like she is laughing with and not at him. (Maybe it helps that she makes self-deprecating jokes about herself as well.)

But the best part is how he doesn't disappoint her. You can't let someone down who has no expectations in you on the first place, though she manages it in a way that doesn't feel like a weight in his chest like it does with his parents.

He loves Nance (even though he thinks he is finally starting to fall out of love with her), but she never quite could hide her disappointment when weeks of studying together ended up in an average grade at best. And the little shitheads, god bless them. He knows they don't do it on purpose and that he is just being too sensitive, especially because he himself does nothing to convince them of the opposite, but it kind of stings when literal newborns who will probably get scholarships to ivy league in the future keep calling him stupid. It is, admittedly, pretty demeaning.

With Robin, there is none of that. Sure, she has better grades than him (not that that is particularly hard) and will probably be able to get out of this hellish place when she graduates, but for now they are both working at a dead-end customer-service and extenuating circumstances like those tend to bind people together. He would know. An angry customer can be scarily similar to a literal demogorgon.

The next day his nose is still running and his throat is still hurting and he seriously considers coughing into their sortiment as a rebellion of sorts more than once. Robin, of course, is having the time of her life.

"It's like the opposite of the school dress code", she jokes. "Don't you dare hide too much skin, young man, or you won't distract the potential customers!" He snorts at her exaggerated and yet eerily accurate imitation of their boss.

Then he has an idea. "Ooohhh, I know this face" Robin sinsongs rubbing her hands together. "This is your 'I'm going to do something stupid' face. You wear it concerningly often."

"Correction, Buckley. You are going to help me, and we are going to do something stupid. Together. It's not very patriotic to abandon your brother in arms in the trenches like that, you know."

She takes a sceptical look at their tiny shop. "Don't take it personally. But if there was a war. And our country was this Scoops Ahoy. I would rather join the dark side than help my brother-in-arms"

"You mean you would rather murder me than", he takes a significant look to the freezer hidden in the back, "chill with me here?!". She punches him (Robin is surprisingly strong for someone with such noodle arms), and sighs deeply in a way only underpaid customer-service-workers can relate to when a group of teenagers crowds the counter. Steve can't help his smug little smirk as they serve the group together and knows it is taking Buckley everything she has not to punt him in the face. She is totally going to be an idiot with him.

They need a second whiteboard, but Robin refuses to let the "you suck"-game go, so they pool their money together and buy the cheapest one they can find.

The first step is easy: Robin needs to find out all the dress code rules in Hawkins High and write them on their new board.

Then it is Steve's time to get to work.

Experiment #1: Fingertip Rule

"The length of skirts, skorts, and shorts must extend below the student's fingertips when the student's arms are extended at his/her sides."

"Soooo.....am I just going to have to find like....massive socks."

They stare at each other.

Steve raises one of his brows (he is proud of that one). Robin blows him a Raspberry. Steve bites his lower lip to stop himself from smiling. Robin is the first to break, this time. She bursts out laughing. He consoles himself with the thought that at least he won their little stare contest. Plus, with a big of luck and tigh-high socks, maybe this annoying not-quite-cold will finally go away.

The worst part of having completely cutt off contact with everyone in his grade is that he has nothing to do. Everyone he would be willing to spend time with is in fucking school so he has the whole fucking morning to do lots of big old nothings.

So maybe he had an ulterior motive when he suggested this little experiment. One that had nothing to do with a sore throat or a running nose. (He suspects that Robin is aware of that, too. But for once in her life she actually knows when to shut up, so whatever.)

That day he drives out of the parking lot and turns his beloved car in the opposite direction of his home. Sure, he could buy the yarn and the sewing supplies in Hawkins, and his father probably wasn't planning on going to that particular shop anytime soon. But Steve has nothing but time and it is always better to be safe rather than sorry. (Which is also why he always carries a bat full of nails in his trunk.)

It is only when he is already halfway there that he remembers that he is still wearing that stupid fucking uniform. Fuck. But it's okay. It's fine. He just can't let Robin find out that he forgot to take it off and had to actually interact with real people (they've decided pretty early on that customers don't count as those) while wearing it. The only worse thing would be to admit defeat and drive all the way back only to change clothes. Like, he doesn't really have standards or self-respect anymore, but that is a bit pathetic even for him.

And how good a decision that ended up being. As soon as he enters the girl at the counter gives him an appreciative once-over. He brushes away some of his hair almost on autopilot. He isn't sure what about sailor-themed polyester seems to work with so many people, but he sure isn't going to look a gift-horse in the mouth. Steve Harrington may not be very good in a great many things, but one thing he can do well is people. He is good at assessing other's intentions, knows how to be charming or how to subtly suggest an idea (manipulation is such a strong word) and project a certain image. He wasn't called the King for nothing, after all.

He stays way longer than he initially intended, but he is pretty sure the girl gave him a bit of a discount, plus she actually taught him the basics of knitting, so he is not going to complain. (At first she thought it was his way to get closer to her, but about five minutes in she realized he was way too intense about it for it to be solely that). So maybe he actually will be telling Robin of his little mishap so she has no choice but to give him another point in the "you rule" column.

The next day, for the first time in what feels like an eternity (he and time have always had a complicated relationship), he does not start his day sitting his butt in front of the TV boring himself to death until it is time to go to work.

Well, that is a lie. He does sit on his sofa the whole time. And he does have the TV on for some background noise. But instead of flipping through channels until he finds something he can at least pretend to be somewhat interested in, he takes everything he bought yesterday afternoon and starts knitting.

Or well, to say that he immediately started knitting would perhaps also not be too accurate. First he stares at the newly-bought yarn for who knows how long trying to decide on a color. His petty petty heart is begging for him to use the orange that clashes horribly with the navy blue of the uniform, but at the same time he should probably not immediately start with the worst possible combination, no matter how much he may want to. Instead, after a frankly embarrassing amount of contemplation, he decides to start with the red. It fits with the accents, and the blue doesn't become too overpowering. Then he begins. For real this time.

Or well. He tries. Turns out knitting is much more complicated when you don't have a cute girl next to you to correct you when you mess up. By the time he has to go to work, he has achieved a whole lot of nothing. (He had been pretty proud of his little square until he noticed that something was wrong and it was lopsided and weird and he couldn't exactly pinpoint it but it was bothering him so he undid all his progress and then had to run to his car when he realized he was already late for work.)

When he arrives he is out of breath and his hair more disheveled than he would normally allow, but he is also only ten minutes late and wasn't stopped by the police for speeding so he sees it as a win. He starts questioning his assertion when his lovely co-worker raises both her eyebrows, quirking her lips (She can't raise just one, which is half the reason why he does it). He follows her gaze.

"Hey, you can't expect me to finish two tigh-high socks in less than a day."

"I'm not looking at you inexistent socks, dingus"

"Interesting fashion choices, your majesty. Got your panties in a twist?"

Steve looks at Eddie Munson who seems to have appeared out of nowhere. Steve looks down. Steve sees that in his hurry he accidentally put his shorts on the wrong way around. Steve lets out a deep deep sigh.

The nice girl (he swears it was something starting with 'H'. Heather? Hannah?) said that she needs about three days for a pair of socks. Considering that, Steve doesn't think his one week is too shabby.

Of course, stupid innocent soul that he was, he once again managed to destroy all his work by letting it shrink in the wash. She (Helena? Hayley?) really hadn't been exaggerating when she said that knitting is at least as much unmaking as actually creating.

Six days later he arrives at Scoops on time for the first time in a week. (It had become personal, okay?! Not his fault time decided to fuck with him specifically for some ungodly reason)

He can see the exact moment Robin sees the high socks that go exactly as high as his fingertips reach - her mouth actually falls open. Her eyes widen further into an honestly comedic degree when he takes out the pair that had shrunken while washing.

"Buckley up", he says, finding himself very funny. "Brothers in arms, remember?"

Steve isn't sure if he should consider himself lucky or despair when their beloved boss actually graces them with his presence. Sure, all this had originally started as a way to see how much clothing is too much clothing according to the higher-ups. But his socks took a lot of work and it is very refreshing (ha!) not to have to freeze his legs off for multiple hours.

He takes a look at their whole fit and turns to Steve. "Harrington, didn't we already have this conversation less than a month ago?"

"While, yes, it may seem like that", Robin interrupts, manager always having had a noticeable preference towards her for some reason, "this actually doesn't conceal any of the important bits." Both visibly wince at that last part. She points towards the sliver of skin between where his shorts end and his socks begin. "According to school dress code, this is plenty distracting. You wouldn't disagree with the school principal who is responsible for the education of literally the entire town, right sir?"

At seeing the skepsis in his gaze Steve quickly intervenes. "Plus, I mean, the customers can barely see it anyway. You know, because we are standing behind the counter. So it doesn't make that big of a difference. And I'm still a bit sick". He coughs for good measure.

The boss looks at both of them with raised brows (Steve admittedly feels a sense of superiority at knowing his boss also can't raise only one like he can) and a long-suffering look as if he were the one who can look forward to two more hours of customer service. For a second Steve is absolutely sure that because of this idiotic little joke he and Robin are going to be fired on the spot. Instead he lets out a long deep sigh and nods in defeat before leaving them alone.

Robin immediately goes for the high-five. "Oh my god this was so great. Did you see his face?! Like-" , she makes a face that looks nothing like his had "Oh my god. I can't wait for the second experiment. This is going to be so much fun!"

This time it is Steve's turn to look at her incredulously. Maybe Robin is part of the group of degenerate people his father always warned him about.

Experiment #2: Hosiery Rule

"tights, leggings, or other types of hosiery must be accompanied by a fingertip length or longer top or dress."

The second their boss's eyes had narrowed at the sight of his socks, Steve had decided that he had enough. He actually needed this job - not in the least because he would probably die from boredom, and who would be there to protect the kids then?

But he hadn't counted on Robin's delight at sucking it up to the school dress code (even if nobody AT school knows of their nefarious deeds) and by the time the shift was over she had somehow convinced him to wear tight leggings instead of the demanded shorts. "The more see-through the better", were her exact words. At least he managed to stop her from going straight to the shoulder rule - he wasn't sure he was ready to destroy one of the uniforms he'd had to pay out of own pocket for this little game of theirs.

So as soon as Steve gets home he goes to the first guest room (he isn't sure what fight had had her barging into the bathroom with tears in her eyes years ago, but his parents hadn't slept in the same bed since. The only reason it is still called the "guest room" and not "his mother's room" is because married couples don't do that. Apparently. If that is what a marriage looks like, Steve would rather stay single forever. And why had he come here again? Oh, yeah. Leggings.

He approaches her drawers and prays that she has left behind at least one pair of yoga pants. He refuses to actually spend money because of this bullshit. (Okay, maybe that isn't strictly true. Because even worse than wasting money on a stupid pair he will only wear once and could possibly get him fired is the thought of Robin being mad or disappointed at him.)

Not for the first time he thinks that his mother must have had a wild past she never talks about. If he had to describe the woman in one word it would be classy. Her posture is always as straight as a flight attendant's or a model's. Her wardrobe consists of muted whites and creams. Maybe the occasional black if she is feeling especially bold. Her jewelry is always small but tasteful ("if it's too big, it's tacky. It makes you look desperate to prove something or to flaunt your wealth"). Her makeup, just like everything else, is elegant and purposeful. Classy.

But then El rummaged through her makeup drawers and somehow found a bold black eyeshadow palette with a cracked mirror (his mother is always very careful with her belongings). Or her son will to through her clothes in an attempt to find a pair of see-through skin-tight leggings that fit him and the only pair he can find is a truly abhorrent screaming orange.

He remembers how he considered making the socks orange to clash with the uniform and just barely stops himself from hitting his head against the wall. Ha. Ha. Ha. Very funny. Good one universe or god or whoever the fuck.

The next day he goes to work wearing the fucking horrible leggings. Robin does not look appreciatively enough of his sacrifice, which is probably because he knew he would never be able to step out of his car if he didn't cover it with some black jeans, at least on his way over to Scoops.

She understands his debacle when he goes to the back to take off his normal and socially acceptable pants and comes out wearing that thing he still can't believe he actually found in his mother's closet. Easy for her to laugh, considering her nice and non-offensive navy blue pair. She went through with her own advice and one can clearly see where her underwear begins. Steve is pretty sure that it is in no way appropriate to make fun of that. But Robin makes jokes about how he is never going to amount to anything and he is STILL wearing the worst clothes he has ever laid his eyes on for her, so he thinks he has earned the right. As expected, she punches him in the arm and screams at him for looking. (Never mind that he wasn't, it is just pretty impossible to ignore, okay?!) She wants to put on the extra shorts she started storing here after she accidentally let a huge ice cream cone with fudge and sprinkles fall on her and had to finish the rest of her shift with sticky clothes - yes, Steve did obviously make inappropriate jokes about that, although not nearly as many as he would today. He reminds her that the entire reason they are doing this is to be inappropriate, and that if she can cover her old grandma undergarments (Hey, I want to see you stand around for over an hour wearing fucking lingerie, asshole) he can take off the orange eyesore he put on JUST FOR HER. A bit of pleading (he is not going to be the only embarrassed one today if it kills him) and they are both standing uncomfortably and trying to laugh it off when the tenth customer takes a judgemental look at their legs (if not an outright comment, thank you Tommy and Eddie.)

Steve doesn't try flirting with every cute girl that comes around and can confidently say that he has never felt less sexy in his life (and that is saying something, considering he has had a concerning amount of injuries and near-death experiences over the last two years). Robin decides to put the "You suck"- game on hold for one day because Steve argues that they should add a talley everytime she gets judged as well, and she can't find any convincing counter-arguments.

Things did not get much better when the boss came around. Steve is pretty sure Robin's whole underwear situation is the only reason they weren't fired on the spot. She looks approprietly grossed-out when he voices this thought.

If there is one positive thing about this whole experience, is that he has never felt so close to his coworker as today. Trauma truly is a hell of a bonding experience.

Experiment #3 Pyjamas:

"Hawkins High includes pajamas in the category of provocative clothing"

"We are not doing this."

"Yeah, no"

...

"Do you like, sleep in lingerie or something? like, why would pajamas-?!"

Experiment #4: Shoulder Rule

"tops that have less than two fingers width of coverage on the shoulders are prohibited for any student, and shirts that are cut like A-style under shirts or beach wear can't be worn by boys."

Steve's cold is finally completely gone, but this whole experiment has stopped being about that weeks ago (if it ever truly was.)

After the humiliating incident that had been the day before, Steve and Robin were in complete agreement that there was absolutely no way they were going to stop their little game now and let the fucking mess that had been yesterday be in vain.

And so they have unanimously decided to cross the one line Steve had secretly sworn to leave untouched: mutilate their uniforms.

Now, they are both aware that that is their most radical move yet. And although some non-believers will vehemently deny it, Steve and Robin (well, mostly Steve to be honest) are aware that purposely provoking other people will sooner or later bite you in the ass (especially if those people are above you in the hierarchy). And so, for the next week, both wear their regulated uniforms. Their poor boss looks so relieved Steve almost confesses that this is only the calm before the storm.

"Why shoulders, though?"

They have decided that they can continue with their plan. Or, well, Steve had been so distracted with his new plant (he bought a bonsai that he named after Robin instead of the golden girls so he could have the satisfaction of cutting her branches when she'd been particularly annoying at work). And his parents had randomly come back for like a week and his mom had left a lot of new makeup releases behind, which of course meant that he had to experiment. Plus summer vacation started, and his unofficial and unpaid job as a chaffeur for a bunch of preschoolers with it. These same preschoolers also started bothering him at work more often, which meant: 1. Robin now had a lot more fuel to make his life hell, and 2. He'd been very lucky the kids hadn't been to the mall on leggings day.

Which means that Steve hadn't even started the modifications yet. But Robin only remembered to bring an extra shirt their next shift together, so like, they are both at fault here.

"Like, what about that particular arm region makes the teachers so horny?"

"Oh my god Steve ew! The code isn't- well, now that i think of mister Bernd, yeah. Wouldn't surprise me."

"I know. And I am so glad to be out of that place. So, a month sound good?"

"Hey. If you can finish it in half that time I will deal with the hard costumers AND willingly clean the really gross and sticky shit."

"I don't..."

"And you get another "you rule"-point. If I do get fired I want to have a bit of the vacations left, man."

"Okay alright, I'll do my best"

"STEVE STEVE STEVE STEVE STEVE ST-"

"What the fuck you fucking menace what's wrong?!"

"WHAT DID HE SAY??"

Steve sighs. He is relieved to see Max spending so much time outside of the trailer but Jesus H. Christ. He carefully lets the needles that were previously residing more or less safely between his teeth fall on the table, makes absolutely sure that they are indeed on the table in front of him (cursed things must be from the upside down with how they keeps disappearing on him) and grabs for the walkie-talkie again.

"Lukas. Max. I said: What the fuck is wrong with you two? Care to answer in a normal volume, shitheads?"

"Where are you?"

"At home?? Where else would I be?!"

"Well, that is convenient!"

"What do you-"

"I don't know? You never have time anymore! I don't know what the fuck you keep doing all day?!"

"Language Max!"

There is a knock on the door. Convenient indeed. Steve sighs.

He manages to do it in one and a half weeks (he has found that knitting is very calming when the night is too dark and the memories feel too real)

At first he had wanted to try huge sleeves that swish when he moves his arm, but a) that would take even more time and b) it would fall into the ice cream and make a mess so he opted to make the already existing pattern in his handbook for beginners. Except with a hole where the shoulder is. And the blue also doesn't quite match the uniform. And Robin's arms a bit too skinny. So like, maybe it isn't perfect, but that isn't the point anyways. Nobody is perfect and shit.

The first people he knows who see him like this are Nancy and Jonathan. (They seem to be on a date. He is relieved when the realization doesn't hurt nearly as much as it once would have.) After the five longest minutes he has ever experienced, he is almost relieved when he sees their boss coming towards them. The relief quickly turns into terror when he sees the look on his face.

Robin follows his gaze. "Fuck." "Fuck indeed."

"Wait, you said that all this started because of the dress code bullshit, right?"

"Well, actually, it all started because some asshole out there is incredibly attracted to me-" Steve does not have time to finish his correct statement before the boss gets there.

"Buckley. Harrington. Why are you wearing-"

"Wow, Jonathan! Don't you think that Steve and Robin look absolutely dashing?"

"I- sure. They look... great. I definitely would not have come to Scoops Ahoy on this fine day if I hadn't seen their attractive....shoulders."

"Right? Where did you get those, Steve? I want to buy some, too!"

He has no time to see if their boss buys this extremely fake display before his heart stops in terror as he sees his kids stomping towards him. He tries to gesture for them to go away without his boss noticing. They purposefully misinterpret his flailing and walk faster.

"Hey Steve, what are you wearing?!"

"Yeah it looks so great doesn't it?", which prompts Mike to look at his sister as if she just murdered his puppy in front of him.

"Didn't these fresh new outfits make you want to eat ice cream more than ever before?" , Robin tries to salvage this complete dumpster fire.

Thankfully Jonathan and Will seem to have working sibling telepathy because the latter slowly nods. "Yes. I am never in more mood for ice cream than when my eyes are confronted with...long sleeves and...bony shoulders."

Somehow they actually manage to convince him. He isn't sure whether he really believed them (unlikely), he just got too tired of their shit (relatable) or just didn't want to do the extra work of finding someone else (which, understandable, but c'mon dude). Either way, what matters is that Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley remain with a steady (if meager) salary. Plus they had to swear to never pull such a stunt again, which Steve is honestly kind of relieved by.

Unfortunately this victory came at a cost: now the party knows he can knit.

"Hey grandma Steve! My sock has a hole. Can you fix it?"

"Hey Steve! Remember that apron we gave you when we found out you can actually cook? Wouldn't it be fair for you to knit costum shirts for us in return?"

"Hey Harrington. We've got this stray that sometimes wanders near our house and since you can apparently knit-"

When the Russians threatens to pull out his fingernails, his first thought is that he won't ever be able to finish the "Anti-Russia Squad" socks he was making for himself, Robin and Dustin.

When they are drugged out of their minds, Steve tells Robin he named a plant after her.

"Her name is Fuck You Motherfucking Robin Buckley Jesus H. Christ I Can't Stand You. Get it? Because then I don't actually insult you-

"You're just saying the name of the plant so technically you aren't cursing at me-"

"but at the same time i get it out of my chest!"

"oh my god i need a house plant so i can curse YOU without insulting you"

"rude but fair"

"except that i am so terrible at taking care of plants somehow they always...they always die"

(they are still crying half an hour later)

Steve's graduation present is a soulmates-sweater. One huge two people sweater. They wear it almost every day for like a month. (People keep assuming that they are dating which is really annoying because NO? THEY ARE BOTH VERY MUCH AVAILABLE?? Platonic with capital P? Why is that so hard to understand?)

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shinymisty-blog · 3 months ago

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The Triplets (Sonic, Sonia, and Manic)

When I first took the journey back in early 2023, I was expecting I wouldn’t like two-thirds of the trio. But, after the journey, I only disliked ONE-THIRD of the trio! But they are all the main characters, even if one has more plot armor than the others.

Disclaimers and notes for this particular post: •Be warned: These posts are often just MASSIVE walls of text! I have the "Keep Reading" tab there for a reason! •While there is no real order to these, I’ll try and keep things in order of relevance. •There will be times when I'll reference something that involves things that would be more relevant after the 40 episodes. During these headcanons, I'll place a nice little ✨ to indicate that it is one of those headcanons. (Everything mentioned will have some sort of explanation if needed). Think of it as a sneak peek at the story I am working on. •If I happen to update anything within this post, I’ll reblog it with the tag #Sonic Underground Project Update, along with a note on which information was updated.

Links: Master Post | The Origin’s Arc

·.¸¸.·♩♪♫ The Trio Together ♫♪♩·.¸¸.·

Together, the trio seem tightly knitted and FEEL like siblings. I love that about them. As the youngest sister of three, I get the dynamic, even if we aren’t twins. I want these three to be happy. I want to see them succeed. I want them to reunite with their mother.

Although, ironically, I also kind of wish we had more with them separated, or mingling with other characters. But, ah well. That’s what writers are for.

•♫•♬• Headcanons •♬•♫•.

➣The triplets are 15 in the Origin Arc, Wedding Bell Blues, and To Catch a Queen. They turn 16 in Mobodoon. Normally, I’d wait till Mobodoon to put this down but I feel it is too important not to have it right at the start. This makes plot points in other episodes (and wikis) a lot smoother. And it is all thanks to Sonia.

➣Originally the siblings would take turns keeping a lookout while the others slept, they realized quickly that the van worked as their lookout, as it would let out an alarm if someone attempted to enter. Manic still sleeps pretty loosely, however.

➣They also take turns being in charge of driving, though Sonic is least willing to do so.

·.¸¸.·♩♪♫ Sonic ♫♪♩·.¸¸.·

Did you guess that Sonic was the one I didn’t like from the three? Congratulations, that’s exactly right! He was also one of the two I didn’t think I’d enjoy going into the journey. So I was 50% right.

Yeah. I felt Sonic was bland. Although, it could be my foggy brain playing tricks on me, covering up all of Sonic’s development and character…but I doubt it. All I remember from him being impatient, obsessed with chili dogs to an alarming degree, and seemingly being the leader of the trio. (His name is in the name of their band, you cannot tell me he wasn’t the leader).

HOPEFULLY, things will change as I add more information here throughout the series, I’ll be pleasantly surprised with what I come out with. Here’s hoping.

•♫•♬• Headcanons •♬•♫•.

➣Sonic was born first out of the three. (I believe this is canon, but I’m putting it here anyway)

➣Though this is technically canon, Sonic’s eye color is green, parallel to Manic’s fur color.

➣Sonic is the unannounced leader of the group. He didn’t want this, it just kind of happened.

·.¸¸.·♩♪♫ Sonia ♫♪♩·.¸¸.·

Did you guess that Sonia was one of the two I felt like I wouldn’t like going into the journey? Congratulation! I was surprisingly shocked by how much I fell in love with Sonia throughout the journey.

I feared I’d grow very tired of Sonia’s “rich” and “the girl” characteristics…and I did, but her growing up within the highest class also helped give her so much character. She had lost so much and had the hardest adjusting to this new life. It helps that I came in already liking Bartleby, the character that is closely linked to Sonia.

Her voice is the most annoying of the three. I can’t blame Jaleel White, though. Wasn’t his fault.

•♫•♬• Headcanons •♬•♫•

➣Sonia was born second out of the three. (I believe this is canon, but I’m putting it here anyway)

➣Sonia’s eyes are blue, parallel to Sonic’s fur color.

➣Out of the three, Sonia is the only one who has a driver's license. While she is originally greatly upset over learning her brothers were driving without one. She quickly realized that having a license for anything was expensive, which made it impossible for any normal mobian to get one, and quickly dropped her judgment. In their spare time, she teaches her brothers the things they still need to learn to help prep them for their eventual driver's test.

➣A young Sonia often went out to do self-defense training, much to Lady Windermere’s dismay. Unbinounced to her, Sonia encountered Dingo when they were both kids during one of these outings, mistakenly kicking him.

➣She and Bartleby grew up together. The duo would get into trouble that kids would usually get into.

·.¸¸.·♩♪♫ Manic ♫♪♩·.¸¸.·

…I like Manic… I knew jumping into the project that, even if I didn’t like his siblings, I’d like Manic. And I was right. Out of the three, Manic was always my favorite by just what little I knew before the journey, and he is still my favorite by the end of the journey. Nothing has changed.

I genuinely believe Manic was the character with the most development out of the trio and took second for the most development out of ALL characters in the series. Even if he often falls back to his character tropes, I still feel that he grew as a character by the end of the series. He came from living the worst out of the trio to realizing he was taken away from a luxurious life at birth. This boy needs therapy after this is done.

•♫•♬• Headcanons •♬•♫•

➣Manic was born last out of the three. (I believe this is canon, but I’m putting it here anyway)

➣Manic’s eyes are Fuchsia, parallel to Sonia’s fur color.

➣He doesn’t let it show, but Manic holds slight resentment over Aleena and how she handled splitting him and his siblings up, thinking that they could have all stayed in Mobodoon together.

➣While Farrell tried to teach Manic that he should have some trust in others, an encounter with a shady mobian made him question if he could trust strangers or not. Encounters with mobians like Stripes and Luke didn’t help with his lack of trust.

#sonic underground #sonic the hedgehog #manic the hedgehog #sonia the hedgehog #Sonic Underground Project #Sonic Underground Headcanons

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dollfaceksj · 1 year ago

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I genuinely felt everything that y/n said. Even though I'm not a mother, I'm 100% sure all of us felt like that at some point if not all the time.

I never speak about this ever, but I've always struggled with my weight ever since I was a little girl, I wasn't even a tiny baby, I was just over 4 kg which usually isn't considered to be small for a baby. And I've never been thin ever in my life from then, right until now and I can truthfully say that sadly, most of the time (or in my case), your family is usually your biggest bully. Girls generally grow up always having to hear people comment on their weight, and it's sad that we have people body shaming us as literal CHILDREN. No child or person should ever have to experience something like that. And because I've constantly had people pick on my weight and make jokes about it, it became a fear of mine to even have someone comment on their own weight in front of me because I immediately think that they're gonna say something about me and I try my best to never engage in those conversations with them or I try to change the topic because I'm always so afraid. It became so bad that I actually avoid even going to see a doctor for something as common as a cold or flu, because I'm always scared that they're going to tell me something about my weight or that they will weigh me. I don't even like meeting people that I haven't seen in a long time because I'm afraid of what they're going to say. Both my siblings are also extremely skinny so I always questioned myself as a child and I still do. This developed into such a huge fear for me that I associate it with every single thing that goes wrong in my life. This has and will always be the hardest thing I've ever had to deal with in life, even if i finally manage to lose weight some day, because it's caused so much of damage to me already that I already know that even if it does stop one day, it's still going to be apart of my story as the most difficult thing I've ever had to deal with. Especially when you keep everything bottled up inside because I could never find the courage to ever speak up about this. It's so sad when it isn't even something you have control over, if we did every single woman and man on this earth would have ideal bodies and faces and everything that we want. But I've come to realize that no one is ever happy with the way they look, we're all human beings and we all have flaws, we just have to realize that we are all beautiful in our own way and that what other people think of us should never matter.

So I really understood y/n so much when he asked her why she couldn't just speak to him about it instead of hiding, cause I know exactly how she feels, it's not something you can just speak about openly because there's sooo much shame that comes with it even though it shouldn't be that way. It's like you're constantly embarrassed about these things even when it's not our fault.

This update of cal really hits very hard because it's a sensitive topic and you portrayed it so well Clover🥺

I'm so glad I found your account when you first started writing cal. And I'm so glad that we get to interact with you.

I know that i dont know you personally, but i know that you're not only an amazing author but you're an even better person ❤️ Thank you for always trying your best to interact with us, you truly are my favourite.

And if you ever struggle with these feelings as well, just remember that you are so beautiful and sooo loved Clover💜

Ilysm :) ♡

you worded it perfectly! i hope it gets easier as you go on because i agree, it is the most difficult thing i’ve had to live with as well so i 100% know what you’re on about.

i struggled with the same things all my life until i started losing weight. the difference in the way people treat you (and yes, even family!) is nauseating. they’re a lot nicer to me now that i fall into the beauty standard. it’s such a slap to the face and really makes me mourn the me that once was because she didn’t deserve any of that

so when i took on the idea to write yn as a mother, i knew i couldn’t brush over the one thing so many mothers struggle with. i’m not a mom but i’m surrounded by them! and as someone who has lost a lot of weight, these are things i relate to (minus the baby lol)

craving validation, affection and love isn’t wrong, never will be. how you go about it is definitely a debatable topic but i still think people who have never gone through this specific thing will also just never understand. they will never understand how it is just embarrassing to admit that you feel this way sometimes. it’s embarrassing to have to tell others that someone else made fun of your body, it’s embarrassing to have to tell others that the clothes they got you don’t fit, it’s embarrassing to admit that the world puts majority of your worth into how you look.

these things combined with isolation and years of self hatred make you do stupid things, things you regret. i wanted to portray that without painting yn out to be the villain, because wholeheartedly, she’s not. i feel like people who were upset at yn even after seeing the world through her eyes have just never experienced it. not approving of her actions does not mean we can’t understand. learn. have empathy. it’s just another example that people don’t take mental health seriously

society is not easy on people and their appearance, especially women and afab ppl.

so it’s okay if you’re still struggling with it. how can you learn to uplift yourself overnight when the world is still treating bigger people like a disease or less worthy? not deserving of respect?

i hope you continue living life to the fullest and always be happy with yourself, cause if you aren’t, who will be?

love, clover

#clover over #cal | myg: discuss

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elytrafemme · 2 years ago

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this year (as in, from august until now) has been a lot for me in terms of like... everything changing, having to come to terms with a lot of things, a lot of important conversations and realizations. and i think yesterday night it really hit me just how many things are starting to piece together, all that i have to grieve but all the things i’m better off now understanding.

and it’s funny that this was the one thing that really stuck out to me, but yesterday i was trying to explain to my sister how i can’t really open up to people because of the way my emotions work, which is largely a BPD thing, and then i realized as i was telling her like. there have been so many times since i’ve started using the internet and discord where i felt extremely guilty for the way that i would open up to people, it was like an avalanche. i can’t just confide in one thing, it’s a thousand and nobody knows how to handle it because there’s so much. and i never knew what was wrong with me so i just assumed that this was my fault, that i was a bad person for it.

realizing that this is just... how i work, and that i just needed to be kind enough to myself to realize it was a recurring problem, something that i could maybe fix once i worked it out, was both relieving but also kind of sad. because i spent-- and still spend-- so much time angry at the fact that i can’t just say one complaint and be done, everything comes out. and i think maybe the hardest part of growing up is looking back at the things you used to blame yourself for and realizing that they were just cries for help.

#nightmare.personal #there were so many times where i'd just try to talk about the depression i felt #thinking it was just normal depression or normal sadness #and then it was all of a sudden like my entire life was in crisis and i couldn't breathe and #all my relationships were falling apart and i'm losing grip on the tangible things around me and i don't know who i am #and i can't move or eat or get up at all #and i just thought i had depression and this was normal and i was just exaggerating it #i wasn't exaggerate it. i was having episodes. i've BEEN having episodes.#and my body is just trying to keep itself safe but in doing so it's tearing us both apart #and the best i can do to maintain control is grasp at the slivers of reality i have #and leave reminders of it in every place i can so that one day i can fix this #and my mental health is always something i'm desperately trying to piece together #but right now at the very least i think i am okay with doing that

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less-than-three-3 · 2 years ago

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god of PEAK

[𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐁𝐔𝐙𝐙𝐄𝐑]

PEAK of war? [𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐁𝐔𝐙𝐙𝐄𝐑]

god of war (twenty eight-pea- [𝐄𝐗𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐘 𝐋𝐎𝐔𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐓 𝐁𝐔𝐙𝐙𝐄𝐑]

this was funnier in my head anyways I beat god of war (2018) in like a week this shit sucked me in and did not let me go I was enthralled. I totally get the GOTY and GOAT claims. Is it my favorite of all time? ....I’ll think about it more and more. But the fact that it has me entirely rethinking my entire top 5 is super telling.

tldr buy and play this fucking game. I might get a playstation just for ragnarok (and I guess hfw, and spider-man 2, and bloodborne). it’s THAT good. it’s so good I didn’t mind using epic games launcher for it!! Full braindump below, spoiler warning.

Alright where do I even start with this? This is a perfect game, it dragged me in and left me begging for more. I find that those two are one and the same to me, the last time I was so plugged into a game was Fallen Order, and before that was Triangle Strategy in recent memory. It’s so hard to find a game that genuinely feels flawless. Yet, even compared to those, I felt that GoW surpassed even what I previously considered to be “perfect” in many aspects. This might just be recency bias, but I have no qualms at least putting it up there in my top few games.

The biggest example of that is definitely the character writing. I previously wrote about how much I loved the characters in games like Spider-Man and Fallen Order, but Kratos and Atreus, despite being so much more godly than Peter or Cal, had arcs that just felt so human. And it not only affects their like internal monologue, or the plot progression, but the entire character performance and their interactions. For Atreus it might feel a little on the nose, and if there’s anything anyone has to complain about, I would probably bet it’d be angsty Atreus being a little... much. But he’s a kid for gods’ sake! It felt uncomfortably accurate. But Atreus is basically learning about the world and literally world-changing information and I felt like his growth was very clear. He shows growing maturity, explicitly and implicitly.

But the person really growing is Kratos, alongside his son. Clearly regret-ridden, grief-stricken, and figuring out how to save his son from his own (and, apparently, most gods’) fate, he tackles the world’s hardest problems of how to be a dad. He’s essentially a traumatized war vet with a son asking every question in the book and glorifying war, with a good ol’ heaping serving of generational trauma and cycle of abuse. He is, at all times, diametrically opposed with Freya, who is protective of those she cares about to a fault. At the beginning he feels callous, cold, unloving. But by the end you realize that he isn’t a monster, he’s legitimately trying to love and protect his son, and though he needs a good amount of guidance and... some extenuating circumstances, he has a great point, and it’s just really hard to properly strike the balance. I still wouldn’t call him a great father but you understand the issue he faces and the mistakes he’s made and that, in the end, he does not know. On the other hand, Freya, who remains so adamantly protective of her child despite everything, can’t see the harm she’s done and will continue to perpetuate in being overprotective... literally. What is this, some kind of direct allegory?

And despite all this, their arcs aren’t just closed and sealed shut. They’re still growing as people, and you can feel that their learning as people aren’t done. Not just because Ragnarok approaches, but because there is just still a lot left unsaid. But at the same time, it felt complete? Despite the fact that the climax did not boil to the same kind of gutting, brutal decisions like in Spider-Man (those still fucking hurt), or an epic finale like in Fallen Order, the characters’ journey felt complete, but I wanted more. It just felt like the end of Act 1, not the end of the story. Cory Barlog you clever bastard.

Also, obligated to say, Christopher Judge and Sunny Suljic absolutely killed it. They deserve all the praise in the world.

Combat and gameplay was phenomenal. For the record I played on the more challenging mode (Give me a challenge?). I was kind of worried it’d sorta be a mashfest but no it was genuinely pretty awesome. Every hit and move felt super impactful, every option is viable, there is a lot of direction for building your playstyle but it’s not overwhelming. The Valkyries were fucking awesome bosses and I wish there was more of that, but I get why that kind of boss isn’t a required boss in this kind of game. After Yakuza and Spider-Man which had good enough combat but nothing to write home about, I started thinking that maybe I am genuinely just Platinum-pilled when it comes to combat but no, other studios can absolutely get to that level too (Platinum remains on top though). The only tiny tiny gripes I have about the overall gameplay is just that I wish I would zoom faster lol like climbing and running could definitely have been *faster* but I am like brainrotted or something it’s not a particularly serious complaint it was fine.

And before I forget, I know people have complained about the music being like “generic epic” music or whatever but like idk out of every game I think fucking Kratos deserves the epic ass music alright? (I may have said this exact thing about spider-man... lol) The vocal performances are incredible, and while yes the instrumentation isn’t exactly breaking new boundaries like in some of my favorite soundtracks, it’s still damn good at setting placement, tension, and delivering high energy. It’s one of those dilemmas where it’s like it’s not really trying new things but what it delivers it executes and places very well. Not a goated OST by any means, but I think deserving of high praise for sure. Let’s see what it was up against in 2018.....

oh. octopath traveler. yeah now that’s a soundtrack. didn’t win though because the game awards panel is full of HACKS

Anyways before I just ramble about how incredible the octopath soundtrack is I’ll end this off by just reiterating that this game is absolutely a must play for anyone, whether or not you’re interested. You must play this. It is required reading. There is a reason it is regarded as one of the gold standards of the current gaming industry. Absolutely phenomenal game. I can’t wait to eventually play Ragnarok.

#god of war 2018

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phee-einar · 2 years ago

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Alma Carrow || Drabble

Childhood is supposed to be an easy thing. Most children play with their siblings, with their parents and the neighborhood children. They start to learn right from wrong and how to properly play with others. Children aren’t supposed to worry about stepping out of line. Getting punished is a common fear but at a reasonable level. Even most pureblood children these days are allowed to play, their parents slowly catching up to the times and becoming less strict. Less abusive. Realizing that children are allowed to have their own thoughts and that they don’t have to be as extreme. Though there are some families that are still rigid and disciplined. The Carrow household was a prime example. On the outside everything looked pristine. Proud parents with three children who never stepped out of line. Children who listened to every word and perfectly carried it out. A closer look and one would see that it hadn’t always been quite so perfect and capable.

The best part of France was the warmth. Something that didn’t really make sense since not much actually changed when they moved. But at least their mothers home had color to it, which was what made all the difference. Alma was sure that their mother loved the three of them. Even though she wasn’t always able to show it. The woman had always spoiled them, though not in a traditional sense. More so in the sense that she had ‘coddled’ them. At least that’s what their father would call it when she would wipe their tears when they cried. Usually after something he had done. Of course it wasn’t exactly how he would describe it. He would say it was something they had done. A punishment they’d brought upon themselves by not completing their tasks perfectly and orderly. Or in Alma’s case, showing up her siblings. As a child she desperately seeked approval and tried her hardest. She could hardly see how it was her fault that her brother wasn’t as accomplished as she was. He did have one thing on her though, his physical strength.

Alma was brought up that at most she should be equal to her brother, if not lesser. Maybe it was from sexism or possibly from a sense of fear. Fear that Alma might actually do something to betray them in retaliation for him betraying his twin. Notions that he would promptly squash before they could ever begin to take seed in her brain. A foolish fear as the girl would never betray her siblings. Their upbringing had connected them to each other in a way her father hadn’t expected. The three became undoubtedly loyal to each other. At least that’s how it was for her. She would never do anything to hurt her siblings, in fact she would harm anyone who dared to even try to do such a thing to Alpheus and Althea. If it wasn’t for the fear she held for her father, she most likely would have done away with the man long ago for how he treated them.

This fear was one of her two weaknesses. The other of course being her siblings. Weaknesses could be used against oneself but she would make sure that never happened. One day her father would be gone and then she would only have one weakness and her siblings could take care of themselves. As much as she would hate to admit. Growing up she always felt the need to protect them, offering to take the brunt of the punishments and shielding them the best she could. If they couldn’t take care of themselves by now, then it was their own fault and foolishness if anything actually happened to them. In which case it would simply be the natural order of things. At least that was what she told herself, even as she still did everything she could to protect them. In any case she was sure of one thing; nothing would happen to her. She didn’t study and train so much to be weak. To come second. To lose to anyone. Not even her flesh and blood. Though Althea definitely made that extremely difficult. The two being identical in almost every single aspect. The only one who could match up to her, was herself. She would make sure of it. At Hogwarts she had excelled in all subjects and now at work she was quickly becoming one of the best in her field. There weren’t many legilimens, and most weren’t able to effortlessly read others' thoughts. Though it was a trait she wished that she didn’t have. At least not as well.

If anything the ability was almost uncontrollable and it had been that way since childhood. Of course then it had been a lot worse, causing her unable to go to events with large amounts of people. All the thoughts at once had proved overwhelming to the girl, giving her migraines to the point she would pass out. Of course her father saw to it that she got over that flaw. Turning what she would describe as a curse, into a gift. A weapon for him to use. Even as a kid he would ask her to learn what other people were thinking, what they were hiding. As she got older, and with a lot of practice, she figured out how to delve past the surface of one's mind. Of course that skill wasn’t as subtle as the other and had to be planned accordingly or else she would get caught. It was worth it though as it was oftentimes even more useful.

At first using others had made her uncomfortable, now it made her feel powerful. There was nothing better than seeing right through someone and knowing all of their weaknesses. Knowing exactly which buttons to press to get the desired effect. How to slowly torture someone without even breaking a sweat. The feeling was addicting. Alma couldn’t get enough of it. So much that she didn’t even mind if she was stuck cleaning up after someone, usually her brother, in order to feel it. Though she did wish that she didn’t have to clean up so often. The girl was willing to do just about anything to reach her goals. Which was really something very simple, to prove she was the best. Better than her siblings, her peers, her father. Better than the Dark Lord even. She might not be at the top of the chain at the moment but she was steadily climbing. Proving to others that if they tested her, she wouldn’t stand for it.

#i posted this a long time ago but now its been updated #alma drabble

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orleans-jester · 1 year ago

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Maddy might not argue it, but she still believed that his wants were more important than hers. He had helped her through the hardest time of her life, giving up his own wants and needs for her. And though this might not exactly be HIS hardest time, she was ready to do the same. She was happy. Things weren’t perfect but - they were going pretty well. They were speaking their truths and smoothing out their problems, his stressers. She’d try to take a more active role in being around him, showing him that she wanted to. She’d change what bothered him, and it was easy changes. But it was he who was more unhappy now, he who was suffering, who was always going to be suffering because of his illness, so she was more than willing to put him above her. Happy to do so, in order to keep the better times rolling.

She was looking at his face, seeing the expression change. It looked as if he was losing the weight right before her eyes. Atlas was putting down the world for a little while and stretching his shoulders.

“You are that, Bastien Bellerose. You already are.”

But then he picked it back up and she held onto him a little tighter. Even with that sweat that was drenching his skin, she wasn’t going to let go. She’d let it coat hers too, if only to keep him close. At least she was getting a little better at not going on a ramble, being more direct, thinking about her words before she said them, or at least attempting to. Her mind went on tangents, that couldn’t be helped, but that didn’t mean that it needed to all come out.

Maybe his way of thinking wasn’t bad but - the fact that he needed her to need him was a compliment as well. She couldn’t find a fault in that. Maybe ninety-nine percent of women out there would but they were not Maddy Bellerose, they were not being carefully taken care of by Bastien Bellerose, and that literally made all the difference. She was ready to step out of that comfort zone more and more. Even if it meant clinging onto him whenever they left.

His laugh was a relief to the ears. Better than music. Made her own shoulders relax, not even realizing that she had tensed up with him.

Figaro just called people things. Maddy so Baddy rhymed, and it was during one of the times when Maddy was riding the ‘bus’ rather than driving, just to spend time with another person while Bastien was out doing his hoarding thing. Maddy made a joke that Fig should run over two zombies that were just standing in the road, double points if they hit both. And Figaro, of course, approved of this and put the pedal to the metal, going Oh Maddy so Baddy, you’re learning now, and boom, the bus took the damage like a champ but those two zombies? Not so much.

The hug was pulled away from and she was able to look at his handsome visage again, those blue eyes. “Yeah, let’s go with my full name, it’s the simplest and sweetest,” She agreed. And she’d change it that very night so that there wouldn’t be another day of him having to be offended by her former username. The simplest fix. People probably wouldn’t even notice, other than him.

She listened to this brand new information. She never really questioned that either, maybe she should start asking more questions about the small things that he did. She nodded, seeing where he was coming from. “Yes - I heard the same thing,” She admitted. Quasimodo had been like … a legend in their house growing up. Even if he had passed away, he wasn’t going to be forgotten. But it was sometimes hard to remember that he wasn’t a myth, until she looked as Bastien and saw parts of those stories in him too - and not just the curse. The love. Even if it wasn’t give back so freely.

“I’m happy you’re going to have it back too. Thanks for telling me - I had no idea you took that prefix to heart. It makes sense.” At least it did in a Bastien sort of way. If anyone else had tried to explain it, she wouldn’t get it. But because it was Bastien, and it was Bastien’s world, total and complete understanding.

She nodded, because she knew what Modo had meant too. It was a horrible name. Frollo had truly outdone himself there. He saw the boy didn’t have a chance, with his condition, and rather than throw him a bone, just beat him down even more. She was glad the ghost stayed away. Maybe her mother in Hell was keeping him busy. Hopefully it could stay that way for all of eternity.

But then Bastien said something that made her laugh involuntarily. She hadn’t been expecting that. “Sorry - that’s just really good. ohnofrollo.” It reminded her of the ending of that horrible IT remake, the second part, where they ‘kill’ the clown with insults. Maybe there was something to it. Maybe they just needed to beat Frollo’s spirit down so that he never comes back. There’s an idea.

She rubbed at his back a little more, still touching him despite the fact that he moved away from the hug. His shirt was clinging onto his body, sticking to the sweat. “Why don’t we put Frankie in the crib and take a shower together, we could both use it after the long flight?”

They'd spoken about it. Intellectually, somewhere in him he knew all that. Emotionally, especially when he was low, when he doubted himself in some way or was losing faith, when it felt like everything was topsy turvy and not in a good way, the feelings came back. They say the past is the past, but when you can't escape your own mind and can't control any of it try as you might, whether it attacks him in dreams, or intrusive visions/thoughts he can't shut off in the waking day, all come with stark feelings as if yesterday was now. The worst is when it happens when he could have sworn everything was fine, no trigger, no reason, no nothing. It really sucks to live something over and over again when it's the last thing a person wants to. Sadly, Bastien has a whole catalog of events like this that try to intrude on his peace, as does Valerie but that's another story but Declan's event certainly has a way of having him question his relationship. Welcome to the reality of PTSD. It doesn't move on just because the chapter does and Bastien's been bogged with that since long before she met him. Throw her event on his pile.

"I love you too." It felt so natural to say it back. It felt wrong not to when it was so true and it was the sort of thing he couldn't leave hanging even if she wasn't finished talking yet.

"Not more." Bas interjected on that quickly. He shook his head. Just nope. Nope. Nope. Double nope. As a father the sentiment had double downed in his head. Yes, they were having this conversation about his needs out of nowhere. No, he didn't actually plan to. They were on vacation for Christ's sake. This was so not the plan. His scattered brain already couldn't even recall how it happened, but here they were. All he knew was that he was used to living with very little and getting by with next to nothing. She wasn't. He'd be okay. At least that's what he told himself. How could he get through some of the things he had if he didn't tell himself he be fine through it all? He'd always be fine.

He perked up more when he heard he took good care of her. He did she said. He does. Music to his ears. He was going to need to record that so he could listen to her say it whenever he needed a boost. He didn't know his face was so tight until he felt it ease up upon those words. Such a relaxing feeling those words brought.

"I want to be that."

Of course then he got all rattled by the insta-stuff and went on a babble train of panic finally letting it all out. The patient Bastien strategy wasn't working out. He was just wearing himself out.

His heart rate had shot so high and there was a big part of him that wanted to run around town with his lighter and just burn shit. Smash everything in his path. His thoughts were swirling so fast he almost lost them after his spiel. His head was slipping out everywhere and certainly wasn't focusing here. Here was painful. Here was a place to avoid and Bastien had an uncanny ability to disassociate rather quickly when he didn't want to or more like didn't have the ability to feel what was before him anymore. It was starting to happen right then as his speech grew in intensity and would have flared into babble that was incomprehensible. However, the consoling and reassuring touches to his back, the way she held him in, her quick manner of speaking to him so direct with exactly what he needed to hear helped keep from losing him too far.

He'd start to sweat profusely. His breathing was heavy against her. Her words even sounded muffled in his ears, but he heard every one. He started to view the room with that migrainey Alice in Wonderland syndrome blurriness. Items were telescoping in his vision field. So, he closed his eyes over her shoulder. That feeling always gave him vertigo. Her words processed though. She wasn't going to delete anything and she was trying to compliment in some way, prove she needed him, his guidance, his help. Why realizing and hearing her admit in some way she's not as smart as she thought she was, or more like, how to put it, as independent as he thought she was, something... how all this just got her to say she needed him to guide her was like his Dumbo's magic feather moment, who knows, but it was. He heard those words and it was another light switch.

He was going to clutch that feather and never let it go. He wanted to take care of Maddy best and he'd been riding on the guiding track that how to do that was to follow to the T without a doubt everything exactly and exclusively as Maddy wanted and at her pace because he promised her it would always be that way. Nothing would ever happen to her in her life ever again without her consent. Simple as that. He didn't mean just sexually. He fucking meant anything. So, that's what everything was about to him, even his hoards. He didn't know how long Delta would have them shut in. He wasn't going to let her belly go hungry of spaghetti-o's against her consent while stuck in Feral, not on his watch. He would find every last can in the city. That was his most cherished hoard building stuffed and organized by expiration date, flavors, family size, and minis. They would go to Little Italy whenever they wanted damnit. They weren't stuck anywhere.

Was it bad he needed her to need him more? Maybe even needed her to be sick/ignorant/inexperienced/codependent-pick a word? Maybe? But, it helped ease him the moment it translated in his head as still being needed like he used to. Only now he started to realize he was allowed to get off her one way only tracks he'd been riding on to keep in her comfort zone and maybe he was allowed to let her walk next to him where his feet actually wanted to walk. Too truly he was honestly only guiding her around the comfort zone track because life hit that wall like that and he could swear it only went around in circles and Bastien liked to wander.

He laughed over her shoulder. "Not what Figaro said. Reminds me of Koda's. Kodabadoda. Too bouncy and you're not a baddy. I don't like it's making fun of you. It's like calling you St. Agnes only in sarcastic playful Maddy style right to your face. Uncool Fig. It would be like when everyone got a hold of the burn book in Mean Girls and it said Too Gay to Function about their friend. It's only okay if Fig does it. You wouldn't want the whole world saying that about you." He was chuckling about it, but he kind of meant it. Ish. He figured he'd explain how that would come off since Maddy didn't always see things from the outside the same as most. She never even noticed boys flirting. It dawned on him now after this conversation there were still things in life she did not pick up the same socially as most people would. So why not start "guiding" her again like he used to right now? Maybe it'd make him feel good about himself again now that he felt so low?

He pulled back from the hug and wiped at his face. He'd started to sweat, but it was calming down now. He was clearing the moisture away on his sleeves. "I like your full name. DefinitelyMaddy's okay I guess too." He shrugged his shoulder. Anything was better than the other one to him at this point. But, he didn't like the idea of it being about some movie if he were being honest, but he didn't say that out loud. Bastien was just a deeper guy than that. What he did say was this.

"You know why I chose quasibastien? It's not for my dad. I mean it is and isn't. Quasimodo. That's where I got it to start with researching him and it's a horrible name to give a child in full completion. But, I only used it when I researched it. It's the prefix. For my purposes it felt right. Quasi means... um... allegedly...supposedly...but not completely or officially. It's like seemingly but not really. I'm apparently Bastien but not really.

I thought about that a long time. You never know who's in the pictures on my insta with my curse. My head goes a lot of places and sometimes I feel like Alice, being so many people since morning, you see. The face might be the same, but you just...you just never know. I don't always feel like me, just some variation of me. Like how people get theirs checkmarked official. Mine's quasi. I don't want to be official because my posts can't be trusted. But, it's always kind of sort of me. I try to be. quasibastien. It kind of meant a lot to me. It hurt to delete it. I'm going to be happy to have it back."

He smiled at her there because he was opening up something honest about himself. Another little nugget about how hard it is for him to hang on in his head.

"And just if you're wondering, the modo on my dad's name means a condition or like... in a course way, rough. So he was really simply named You Incomplete Condition. Barely a person. How fucking rough for you."

He shook his head. He could picture Frollo laughing as he thought that one through too. He was in a sharing mood apparently.

"If Frollo had an instagram it should be ohnoitsfrollo or ohnofrollo."

#MaddyxBastien

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radiant-reid · 3 years ago

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Spaces Between Us

Summary: Spencer's time after prison starts to affect his marriage and it takes his wife leaving for him to realize what he wants

reader and Spencer being married but after jail Spencer is really distant and barely speaks to her so she is really depressed and she leaves one day when Spencer is away but when he comes back he freaks out because he can't find her so he goes looking for her everywhere.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem!Reader (Angst)

Content Warning: mention of divorce | prison arc |

Word Count: 2.2k

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At some point, and she wasn't exactly sure when, it all got a little too much.

Seeing Spencer in jail did break her, tearing their marriage until it was hanging on by a thread.

It was never fair because it was never his fault. Someone else had framed him. Y/n had no doubt about that. The few months he was in jail were terrifying. Worse than when he was on a case, and every time the phone rang, she expected it to be someone saying he'd died.

Terrified didn't go far enough to describe the weeks she went without him. His arraignment and seeing him in prison was the worst thing she'd experienced. Usually, she was most scared for him when he was laid up in a hospital bed. But when he sat across the cold metal desk from her, dressed in a prison jumpsuit with his curls growing out, she felt positively terrified.

They both tried their hardest to make things work after he was released. To the point that nothing else mattered to the two of them but getting back on track. It was where Y/n exhausted all of her energy, trying to fix things.

Spencer tried to, he really did, but he loved his job before he loved her, and he needed to prove himself in the Bureau again. Prison had left him so exhausted, with so little energy that there wasn't enough to pour into both his personal and professional life. Something had to give, and, despite the fact he spent every year of his life promising that, if he had someone special, Spencer wouldn't let anything jeopardize it, he was sacrificing her.

It didn't happen all at once, which might have been easier to deal with. Instead, it was a drawn-out three months' worth of pain. She thought it couldn't get any worse when Spencer got out of prison and could barely talk to her, but, by the time it was over, she was at rock-bottom.

Prison had changed him to the point where he didn't even know how to love her anymore. Without meaning to, he pushed the only thing that kept him sane in there away.

It was far too exhausting for Y/n. Especially when he spent all his time at BAU or his office at college or anywhere that wasn't home. The final straw, and the thing that made their relationship unsalvagable, was when he didn't even bring up their anniversary like those four years meant nothing. He had always been a celebratory person, and no event was too small for him to celebrate, the day they met, their first date, their first time, but the most important was always the day they became a couple. She was accustomed to flowers and thoughtful gifts, but all that mattered, all that she wanted, was the love and time Spencer was usually willing to give her.

But there was nothing. No phone call, surprise, gift, kiss, or hug. That day, he didn't speak a single word to her, a sign of how far they'd fallen. Her heart was aching for something, for anything.

And Spencer most definitely knew. If not because of his flawless memory, then due to the fact Y/n left the gift she got him- a framed photo of them- on his desk.

It broke the final piece of her heart to know that he could have seen it that morning when he left early to get to the office and didn't say anything.

So she left, the very next day, unable to take any more of their detachment. An insider tip from Penelope provided the information that they had a case, so she knew she'd have a few days headstart to get her things out of the apartment.

All her remaining emotional energy was poured into leaving him a letter.

My darling Spencer,

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry I couldn't be there to do this. You don't deserve another person leaving without a proper goodbye. You deserved more than a letter from Gideon and your dad, but, without a doubt, you should have had more from me.

I took the easy way out because it was better than standing in front of you, crying, while I second guess my decision. Ending this is the conclusion we've both come to, separately, but hasn't everything felt separate lately?

What I'm trying to say is that I love you, and I'll always love you, but that's why I can't be there when you read this. It's also why this has to happen. Love shouldn't hurt like it's been hurting, and you're smart, so already you know that. Hell, you probably already know what you're walking into, which maybe makes me feel better.

I'm rambling now, definitely. I just want this to be from the heart. I'm so proud of you, Spencer. For everything, but notably what you've been through in the last half-year. So goodbye, I love you, keep being you, and it'll be okay, I promise.

All of my love, forever,

Y/n x

Never once had Spencer broken down like that. The heavy stream of tears and difficult breathing made it too hard for him to stand up, so he slid down the wall until he sat down on the cold floor. It was so cold, like everything inside him was becoming. All he felt was numb like it might protect him from the pain while his brain swirled. Prison was horrible, but this was the deepest, gut-wrenching emotional pain he'd ever been in.

His heart raced so fast, and so little air got to his lungs that he started to hyperventilate, chest heaving up and down.

Unlike Y/n's assumption, he didn't expect it. All of a sudden, his naivety hit him. For so long, he'd taken for granted that she would be there when he got home, apparently, for too long now.

It was terrifying to think about being without her. Y/n was the only stable thing he'd had in most of his life. And somehow, well, he knew how, like everything else, he fucked it up.

Once the despair faded, the anger started. All directed at himself for losing Y/n. His mind raced to keep up, switching between logically thinking about what to do next and rage accumulated from prison but now directed at himself.

"Fuck!" Just yelling gave him energy fueled by fury, enough to stand up. It was more energy than he first thought because, before he knew it, he was sweeping everything off his desk. Running his hand through his hair, he surveyed the damage. It was mostly files, the things that he allowed to get in the way of their relationship. And a gold photo frame.

The glass smashed on the floor, cutting the corners of the little photo and his finger when he reached down to pick it up.

Stupidly, a day ago, he hadn't even looked at the photo. It only made him cry heavier, seeing how genuine her smile was and faked his was. If that's what it felt like being loved by him, Spencer understood why she left.

That night was filled with even more crying. Eventually, it became tearless sobs when his dehydration kicked in. That big brain of his was empty, no clue about what to do. Was he selfish enough to put her through more pain?

Her engagement and wedding ring stayed squeezed in his grip like maybe it would bring her back, and he'd be able to just hug her one last time.

But no one walked through the door before Spencer fell asleep at some point with a throbbing headache. When he woke up, it was 4 am, and he'd probably only slept for three hour.

There was a sudden clarity about being awake before the sun arose that hit Spencer. The same clearness that had reaffirmed the decision to stay together during each tough moment in their relationship. It was simple after that, and he transparently wanted to still be married, whatever it took.

She must have been at her friend's place, the friend who was out of town for the week and only lived a block away from them.

Not much was open before sunrise in DC. No florists, not Y/n's favorite chocolatier, and not her favorite bakery.

His fear was there when he reached the apartment building, having walked down the street with his hands in his pockets, focused on what he wanted to say and how he could get his message out without distorting it through tears.

The worry was so present when he realized that this could be it. Y/n could hand him divorce papers, he'd sign- to give her a tiny bit of happiness- and then he'd never see her again.

Knocking on the door, he tapped his fingers against his pant leg- the same pants he'd been wearing for days.

Y/n knew who it was going to be. She'd been waiting for him since she left, formulating what she was going to say, but her mind blanked when she opened the door. If he felt as terrible as he looked, messy hair, deep eyebags, and blood-shocked eyes, then he finally might have felt how she felt.

"Y/n, please." His voice was broken too, full of cracks. "Just one minute." He begged.

She stepped out of the way, letting him into her friend's place. "What, Spencer?" She asked, awkwardly standing there. It was obvious he was there to try and fix things, but she still hadn't made up her mind about whether she was going to let him.

"I love you." He stated, looking straight at her. Things would have been a lot easier if her heart didn't thump faster at hearing those three words, and it wasn't solely because she had been starved of hearing it.

Y/n's eyes remained anywhere but him the wallpaper or the grey couch or colorful pillows or kitchen countertop, even the floorboards.

"So?" She asked, already lightly crying.

Nothing broke Spencer's heart like seeing her cry because of him, knowing how deeply he'd broken her. "I don't tell you that enough. Or at all."

"You don't speak to me at all." She reminded him, twisting the knife that needed to be twisted, either to give him a wake-up call or to ensure his next relationship didn't end like theirs.

"You don't deserve that." He admitted, earning a nod of agreement from Y/n. Maybe it was stupid of him to go there and plead a case she already knew both sides of. "I took so much for granted with you, Y/n, and I changed after... prison." It still hurt so much to say, evident from the frown on his face. "I know I changed, but I love you. I just don't know who I am, what to do, or how to go on. I'm so lost, Y/n." His voice broke into sobs after that, and he attempted to wipe up the endless flow of tears.

Even if he made a lot of mistakes, it still hurt her to see him upset, and she still wanted to make it go away. "You fucked up, Spencer. Badly." In agreement, he nodded, realizing this must be it, that she was finally going to be gone from his life. "Our relationship has been messy for months, and it hurt both of us, but I was the one trying."

"I know, I know I missed our anniversary, and I know you're the sweetest girl ever because you got me a gift, and I didn't even call." He spurted out, trying to show that he cared, although it made it seem more like he only just started.

"You're never going to do that again." She informed him, confusing him. "You're going to try if you want this because I will always fight for this relationship, but it's going to drain me completely if you don't."

It sounded like she was giving him a second chance, but he really wasn't sure. "Y-you want to... stay married?"

Y/n huffed slightly, looking up at him from her feet. "That's not up to me."

He understood that. "Y/n, I'll fight for this. Every day, and I will never take you for granted again." It was more determined than he'd said anything in his life.

"I love you too much to ever not give you a second chance." Maybe, for once, it wasn't a problem. The tiniest smile she had ever seen appeared on his face, and she matched it with her own, stepping closer to him. "I really missed you. The real you." She told him confidently, wrapping her arms around his neck and leaning up to hug him.

"I missed me, too, and you're the reason I get me back." He replied hoarsely, softly sobbing like she was.

When pulled back, she ran held his face in her palms for the first time in way too long, gazing into his eyes for a moment. Spencer crashed their lips together with all the passion in the world like it would be the last time they ever got to kiss, but he was going to do everything he needed to to make sure it wasn't.

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yeonjunszn · 2 years ago

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so sick ! — 50

pairing: idol!lee heeseung x non-idol!f!reader

summary: when your boyfriend of almost eight years cheats on you your senior year of university, you decide that you’re done with anything and everything to do with love. that is, until you meet a guy who sings love songs for a living.

— yes i know 🙄🙄 i’m amazing or wtv

‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵‿︵‿︵ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ・❉・ ʚ˚̣̣̣͙ɞ‿︵

fifty: no longer bitchless (1.2k)

you don’t know what’s gotten into you. you don’t know why you rushed to slip into your shoes and coat or why you grabbed ryujin’s keys without asking her. you don’t know why you’re driving as fast as possible while trying to maintain the speed limit as best as you can to get to the enhypen dorms. you don’t know why your grip on the steering wheel is so tight, your knuckles are turning white. you don’t know why a simple tweet changed the entire trajectory of your emotions, but it did. and now here you are.

it’s been a total of six days since you last saw or spoke to heeseung and each minute was clawing away at your heart. you’d gotten so used to messaging every single day and talking to him in class, even receiving a text here and there on his busy days. he made you feel heard. he made you feel seen. he made you feel loved.

you park down the street, like you did the first time you went to the dorms. however, unlike that first time, you had to be even more inconspicuous and even more cautious as you made your approach.

you felt a little selfish for not being able to wait until it was okay again to tell him everything. you didn’t want to get him in trouble, but you also couldn’t keep it from him any longer. you thought back to the day before you decided to cease contact, when you realized you were finally ready and you told yourself you’d wait just a bit more. now you wished you would’ve said something then, especially because he’d been waiting long enough.

you text heeseung as soon as you’re outside and he lets you in immediately, almost falling over when you tackle him with a hug. he stands still for a moment, absolutely blindsided by the action, but reciprocates as soon as his brain catches up with him. you take in the faint scent of his cologne, allowing it to fill your senses and committing it to memory.

when you step back, you pull down your mask and take off your hat, your eyes clouded with a few tears. he was really standing in front of you right now. those six days without him proved to be the hardest, similarly to an entire year without rain.

“hey,” he smiles, his thumb grazing along your cheek. “it’s been a minute, huh?”

“a minute?” you snort, your eyelids involuntarily shutting from the comforting motion. “it felt like months.”

“i know. i’m sorry,” he frowns, retracting his hand. “i thought maybe the time apart would help, too. i’d be able to give you your space to grow more.”

“heeseung, don’t apologize. it’s not your fault. besides, there’s no need for that. i don’t ever want to be away from you again. this past week made me realize just how much better you make my life,” you furrow your brows, taking his hands in your own. “i’m ready.”

he blinks at you and it’s like his world has come to a halt. it’s like time has stopped and everything around you is frozen. it’s just him and you and nothing else matters. “w-what?”

“i’m ready, hee. i don’t want to wait anymore. you make me feel like i’m the only girl to ever exist, even with your job that has you surrounded by millions of them. i can breathe around you and i can be myself around you. i mention something once and you remember every little detail. you don’t force your opinions onto me and you constantly know what to say and when to say it. when i’m with you, i’m the best version of myself. it’s just so easy to fall for you,” you step closer to him. “you’re patient, you’re kind, you’re compassionate, you’re smart, you’re unrelenting and you’re you. you’re lee heeseung, with or without the cameras or the microphone, with or without a mask or a hat to hide behind.”

his eyes are widened slightly, not at all expecting you to give him a whole confession. he brings his hands up to cup the sides of your face, unbridled adoration in his expression as he registers your words in his head.

“i want to be with you, heeseung. i’m ready to be with you. all of you. even if it means i have to share you with the rest of the world.” you finally say, holding his wrists.

“you’re going to be the death of me, you know that?” he groans, throwing his head back with a laugh. your lips curl upward. he gasps, as if he’s suddenly recalled something. “y/n, do you remember when i was asking you a bunch of questions and i said i had one that i really wanted to ask you when the time was right?”

“mhm.” you hum, giving him a look of confusion.

“i’m gonna ask you now, and i still want you to answer honestly,” he says and you nod, biting your bottom lip. “will you be my girlfriend?”

“god, yes. of course i will, lee heeseung.”

he leans in just a bit, his nose brushing yours gently. “can i?”

you nod, afraid of your voice failing you. heeseung minimizes the gap between the two of you, his lips enveloping your own tenderly. it’s like a shock of electricity runs through your veins and down your spine. the expanse of your skin heats up and your heart beats so rapidly you can hear it in your ears. (you pray he can’t hear it too.)

everything finally falls into place, like the missing pieces of a puzzle have been found. you bet if you were to step outside, the stars in the sky would be brighter, the air would be crisper, and the grass would be greener. the wait was most definitely worth it.

you remember being so afraid to let someone else back into your heart after what happened with siwoo. you’d spent eight years of your life thinking you were with the person who could give you everything. and maybe you had an inkling that you were settling, even then, but it didn’t make the situation any less painful. no one deserves to be cheated on. that’s the worst reason for a break up. it does nothing but instill countless insecurities and trust issues, making it that much harder to find happiness again.

however, it turned out differently for you. lee heeseung entered your life at the perfect time, whether he realizes it or not. he became a friend that you didn’t know you needed and, slowly but surely, showed you that there were greater things in life that could be explored.

“i continue to get luckier and luckier.” he breathes, resting his forehead on yours. you can feel the flutter of his eyelashes on your skin and your cheeks begin to hurt from how wide you’re smiling.

“i think i’m the lucky one.” you comb your fingers through his bright hair, parting from him slightly to look at his face. you press a tiny kiss to his nose, one of your favorite features of his.

“you know what,” he raises a brow. “this calls for some celebratory ramyeon.”

you laugh at his suggestion, your body falling into him the slightest bit. he grins at your reaction, his chest so incredibly full of warmth and fondness. “it is pretty cold out tonight. the idea isn't bad at all.”

he glances around, realizing the two of you were still in the entrance of the dorm before he puts on a pair of shoes by the door and grabs his coat. he rummages through the drawer in the table by the door for a mask and then adjusts yours for you as you put your hat back on. the gods were on your side it seemed, since a random hat was propped on the coat rack for him to use.

“alright, let’s go before the guys try to stop us,” heeseung reaches to turn the knob, pausing. “but first let me kiss you one more time.”

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#enhypen smau #enhypen social media au #enhypen socmed au #enha smau #enha social media au #enha socmed au #enhypen heeseung x reader #enhypen heeseung smau #lee heeseung x reader #lee heeseung smau #so.sick.heeseung❤️‍🩹#yeonjunszn

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obiwanked · 2 years ago

Text

My Star Wars Fic Recommendations: Part Two

Part One | Part Two | Part Three

The Ground Beneath Us - Obi-Wan makes Anakin go on walks and maybe it saves the galaxy.

Super Wishes - In a universe where the Empire never came to power, Padme Amidala is trying her hardest to make the twin's birthday party work perfectly while dealing with a crowd of Troopers, two hyper-active toddlers and a husband whose upset that once again, that the Jedi haven't come to the party. All seems lost until a last minute guest appears...

The Anomaly - Jedi Knight Obi Wan Kenobi and Padawan Ahsoka Tano are shocked to discover an impossibly high concentration of force sensitives on a desolate, backwater planet in the outer rim. Something weird is happening on Tatooine, and they will get to the bottom of it. Meanwhile on Tatooine, there is a slave who has gotten exceptionally good at podracing, and the Hutts have taken notice.

Choose Again - Obi-Wan didn’t realize it, but the Force heard him, and it swirled around him in growing intensity, whispering in his ear: “You were right” “The burden was too much for him” “You will have an opportunity to carry it instead” (The Force decides to try again, and this time, Obi-Wan Kenobi will be its Chosen One)

(You Taught Me) The Courage of Stars - Ahsoka Tano flees after a warrant for her arrest is issued, but not before receiving aid from an unexpected ally. (Ahsoka proceeds to go on a road trip filled with a bunch of strangers who all say the same thing: Obi-Wan Kenobi is much more than he has ever appeared to be.)

Eyes Full of Stars - Stranded on Tatooine, Anakin teaches Obi-Wan and Ahsoka about the constellations he looked at when he was growing up.

Bruises - "But it's not your fault and I don't need help, cause these bruises on my body, I gave to myself. You're allowed to take care of yourself" Or: Anakin and Ahsoka try to work through a myriad of traumas and thankfully have each other

Magic Blankets - C-3PO accidentally saves the galaxy by teaching a young Ani Skywalker how to crochet. Or in which the power of love and crafts solve a lot of problems and the Jedi Creche is about two inches away from kidnapping Anakin at any given moment.

In Sacrifice, Peace - The ROTS au where Obi-wan finds a very different type of pain while looking through the Temple's recordings of Order 66.

Back From the Future: Episode VI The Clone Wars - In which Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader travel back in time together to the Clone Wars era, have amazing adventures, and save the galaxy.

Reprise I - Ben Kenobi dies aboard the Death Star in the year 0 BBY. He wakes up shortly thereafter in the Jedi temple in the year 41 BBY. Haunted by memories and regret, Ben must forge a new path for himself in the Jedi Order of his youth while navigating the murky waters of time travel. Crafting a better future from bitter experience is hard, but learning to heal is even harder.

Reprise II - Ben Kenobi has been living in the past for three years, working behind the scenes to change the course of history. New friends and allies bolster his efforts, but old enemies - and new - lurk around every corner. With every day and every decision, Ben steps away the life that he knew and into a future he cannot predict.

Blue Hues - You come across Anakin sitting in the showers, clothed, wet and shivering. You decide to sit down next to him and talk while the blue lights flicker above you, the only light in the dark room. You also decide to become his friend. Only that Anakin can’t be fixed just by offering your friendship. He can’t be saved through nothing but kindness. And you’d learn that all on your own in due time.

#obi wan kenobi #anakin skywalker #star wars #anakin star wars #obi wan #fanfic #anakin #fanfiction #obi-wan kenobi #star wars prequels

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dannyphantom-justiceleauge · 3 years ago

Note

This may be a minor gripe but something that has kind of bothered me about discussions and depictions of Dan is how often people seem to forget that Dan isn't just an older evil Danny, he's a combination of Danny and Vlad's ghost sides. Like people always talk about him like Danny threw away his humanity and turned evil but that's not even true. Sure, we can say that Dan is the result of Danny's action but that's a little unfair. (1/2)

(2/2) Him cheating on a test, coincidentally putting his loved one's in a position where they could be killed, is absolutely not his fault. Letting Vlad take away his ghost powers with a strange contraption might not have been the smartest move, but we are talking about a grieving CHILD here, of course he isn't going to make the best decisions. If anything Vlad's the one to blame here, and even then, it's not like he could predict what happened

---

you aren't wrong, my friend. it really isn't entirely danny's fault and the whole 'if you cheat on a test, you'll loose everything you love' moral is confused at best. i think as fandom we find it more interesting to look at danny's potential evil and moral struggle with himself. so simplifying it to be dan is a worse case scenario of danny makes the conflict less abstract.

particularly because when it comes to self blame danny isn't going to go easy on himself just because it was excusable mistakes.

i think another talking point should be how danny is the target of the time assassination more than vlad is, even though vlad is part of the evil whole. you could argue that danny is the catalyst of his friends death and vlad inventing the claw things. but vlad invented the claw things. maybe because his human side survived and acted relatively harmless from then on? or maybe it's because the observants based on the available evidence recognized danny as more of a threat. i think that fits actually, for all vlad tried to be an evil mastermind, his achievements outside of terrorizing a teenager and theft isn't particularly impressive. danny was the one who got shit done. all his fights he finished one way or another and i could see how that would bleed into dan defeating everyone.

the real question is how to we fix this. ideally we could shape this idea so it's less confused, though i do honestly find the dynamic of half danny, half vlad interesting. if for not other reason. than two half ghosts make a whole. actually that's something else to be said about dan. his self-loathing is what led him to killing his human half, another negative aspect coming from danny.

i wonder if we could frame it like fusion, from su. obviously dan isn't stable or healthy, or based on love. he's most comparable to malichite. but with less internal debate. dan took the best and worst of both of them. danny's determination, danny's fighting ability, danny's anger, danny's sarcasm, vlad's anger, vlads lack of morals, vlads schemes, vlad's control. heck, vlads desire to rule the world. i don't think we ever got that from danny.

maybe if vlad was more involved in the fight with dan it could have been used as an opportunity to compare and contrast their characters. to go we're not so different you and i. danny gets to recognize that he has that dark potential. vlad gets to be humbled by the fact that what he wants isn't good for anyone, especially himself. and to be fair, we do see some of that humbling with future vlad, but none of that character growth is given to present vlad, so, really it's just another vehicle for danny angst. it also depends on what you want to do with vlad though. he's a fascinating character and could be given redemption under the right circumstances or be a character who has the opportunity for redemption but chooses not to be redeemed every time.

that fits him and makes him both a more pathetic and despicable villain. it's hard to pity someone who ignores the opportunities to heal and grow.

as for danny, he becomes far more aware of the consequences his actions, especially his selfish and cruel ones can have. because that potential was always there. he has a history of abusing his powers. perhaps for this specific incident him abusing his powers can be something less understandable than almost cheating on a test that he couldn't study for through no fault of his own. (maybe i just have flexible morals?). maybe it could be something more character relevant, like he did something particularly vlad like, maybe he set up a prank at the nasty burger to get dash but it set off the explosion that killed his family. or maybe he did something particularly cruel and manipulative. there are better catalysts than a test. either way he recognized that he should never go that far again and strive to avoid being actively cruel.

he also has the opportunity to recognize that vlad does have a human half, even the one he's fighting everyday. he can face some conflict in it's not entirely clear what trait belongs to vlad and what trait belongs to him. he can empathize with vlad and he can recognize that situations aren't always in black in white. those who fly the highest, fall the hardest, after all.

it can be a growing experience. and while making it solely a danny goes bad and learns not to do evil kind of story. maybe we could cut vlad from the equation and just have danny face himself, full evil refection. i think exploring both vlad and danny through this fusion is far more interesting. especially because we can build on what's revealed about vlad in these episodes, in later ones. danny sees a future where vlad chills and that maybe his vlad could get their. later he see vlads past and what he lost to become who he is.

and then there's vlads turning point episodes. i don't know when motherly instinct took place but maddie fully recognizing he's a bastard and rejection him, was a turning point for his sanity, and danny helped it along. then we have danny rejecting him repeatedly, then we the clone episode, which we can all agree was a desperate move on his part, that danny once again thwarted. and we can all agree that this was the cannon turning point for his character where he stopped fighting for a family and started trying to be danny's villain. in that episode, i think danny could potentially pity vlad enough to try and reach out. he's not going to justify what vlad did and he's not going to apologize for stopping him. he went too far. he hurt danny and dani, he crossed a moral line that can't be justified even with his desperation. but if he changes...

he lost this time but if he changes, maybe they'll reach the point where they're ready to accept him.

i think the same thing could be said about his relationship with jack and maddie. if he changes, if he reaches out. if acts like less of a crazy fruitloop, his friends would be there for him. jack is still trying to be there for him, even if he's being oblivious about vlad's faults. vlads the one driving wedges into his relationships and pushing everyone away.

and that's so freaking human and understandable.it would be such a cool thing to explore with his character.

i could also see a potential arc where after valerie finds out vlad and masters are the same person she tries to get close to him, both to sus out how evil he is and to understand him as a halfa. afterall danny got her to acknowledge dani as human enough, the same would apply to vlad/plasmius, right? only he's a bad person and the more she uncovers about vlad masters the man, the more she realizes it's not the ghost half that's evil. but this is a double edged sword because, vlad is getting attached to her and encouraging her to be more evil. he's encouraging her to go darker and darker in her fight against ghosts and her fight specifically against phantom. to the point where she finally draws the line and says, i'm not doing that! boom exploring the moral ambiguity of her character and getting her to take a hard stance on her morals, because there's a line too far for her.

and boom a further breakdown of vlads character because he finally had someone outside the fentons to redeem him. she could have helped pull him out of the hole he'd been digging himself into. she wanted to help him. he got attached to her, but he and his bad decisions decided to dig himself deeper instead. so once again he's 'abandoned and betrayed'.

from that point, i think it'd be time for him to finally face jack head on. not through manipulative schemes. not through veiled threats and insults. but the full confrontation of 'i always hated you. you ruined my life. you're the reason i lost everything'. which is really just his own self loathing speaking. and jack... empathetic jack can see that vlad desperately wants help. and jack would offer it to him. jack would try to hug it out and apologize and give vlad the love and friendship vlad's been fighting to steal this whole time.

and vlad would reject it.

he'd probably lash out a jack and go into a full breakdown/world destroying attack. could finally put the stolen crown to use and try declaring himself king and embracing his megalomaniac thing and actually be a threat this time. and THAT would be our series finally. everyone teaming up to fight 'king vlad'. danny probably finding out that he's technically king because he beat pariah dark but the matter being a bit confused because he had help. val and danny trying to find the ring of rage or at least find someone who can make one. secrets are out. i imagine vlad, upon revealing himself to jack would out danny to make danny as sad and alone as him. except nope, his family still loves him and val has had the character development to come around to him. (she's still gonna punch danny for lying for so long.) the ghosts will come and help because no one wants another tyrannical kind and vlads obviously off his rocker.

ah, the could have beens

anyway, i didn't mean for this to become a full vlad character analysis and rewrite when we were supposed to be talking about dan, but hey, i'm a simple creature. i like good writing, and i have to rewrite things myself, so be it. - Hestia

#dpjl #hestiawrites #danny phantom #vlad masters

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