#for clarification i am sober typing this

[vanweezer]

to some of u i am still that messy little 15 yo live blogging their meltdowns however i wish for u all to think of me as that messy rather medium sized 20 yo live blogging their meltdowns but taking a little break every now and then to liveblog the frogs that be on my porch while i smoke

[odos-bucket]

Protective Batbros, a subsidiary of my Protective Batdad series

Tim is sitting alone.

It was something Dick had made note of shortly after arriving at the gala. There are people scattered around at various tables, but even more people milling about and socializing. Before he can do more than smile and nod to the newest Robin, a small group of WE investors draw his attention into a dull conversation.

Dick talks with them for a little while, then makes his rounds throughout the big hall, mingling with various acquaintances, and sampling some hors d’oeuvres. By the time he’s back to where he began, he notices that Tim is still sitting by himself. Or, he amends, maybe someone else has been by and gone again?

Tim ’s posture is perfectly straight, and he isn’t looking around. His expression is neutral, but not blank like he’s spacing out. There are appetizers on his plate that he clearly hasn’t touched. One of his hands is folded in his lap, the thumb of the other hand is rubbing methodically at the polished handle of a decorative spoon. Dick makes his way over to take the seat beside him.

“Heya, kiddo.”

“Dick!” Tim’s face lights up when he sees him, if only for a moment, which makes Dick’s heart light up as well, as he pulls the kid into a one armed hug.

He makes a brief mental note of how tightly Tim clings to him in return, then files the observation away to analyze later.

He doesn’t like how little they’ve seen Tim around the manor recently. His parents have been in town for the past week and a half, which throws a bit of a wrench into their nighttime escapades.

But it’s a good thing, he reminds himself. Tim doesn’t get to spend nearly enough time with his parents; it’s good that they’re around. Dick feels a little guilty for thinking of them as an inconvenience, even though he’s pretty sure Bruce does too.

Dick leans back into his own seat, but keeps an arm resting on the back of Tim’s.

“How’s it going?” He asks.

“Okay,” Tim says with a shrug, expression and posture already returned to their neutral state.

“Been kinda boring without you around this past week.”

“Yeah, sorry. My dad likes to know where I am.” He begins to rub his hands together, then seems to realize what he’s doing, and forces himself to return to the subtler motion of worrying at the silverware.

Dick nods, watching his hand.

“Must be nice having them around for a while.” He is being supportive. He needs to be supportive.

“I- yeah. It’s great…”

Dick looks at him with an open expression, waiting for some clarification.

“They’re not like around around,” Tim says. “They still work. But it’s nice when we get to have dinner together. And Mom says that maybe we can try to have a family game night before they have to leave again, if there’s time…”

Dick resists the urge to ask when that will be. Tim sees right through him.

“They’ll be leaving for Norway before the end of the month.”

Dick isn’t sure what the appropriate reaction to that is, and his expression sort of ends up stumbling into a grimace. He glances down to keep it concealed, and Tim is kind enough not to draw attention to it.

“I’m sorry they’re not staying longer. But it’ll be good to have you around again.”

Tim nods absently. An uncomfortable expression flits across his face, but vanishes quickly.

“Tim, are you feeling okay?”

At first he just gets a noncommittal noise in response to the question, then after a minute Tim wrinkles his nose, and glances around the room.

“It’s loud.”

Dick nods. He hadn’t really been attuned to the noise level himself. It wasn’t especially loud by Gotham aristocracy standards, but he could see how it might be annoying to someone who was bothered by that type of thing, or just wasn’t particularly used to it. Of course, Time would be used to it though, so that didn’t really factor in here.

“I might have some headphones in the car,” he offers. “They’re not noise cancelling, but they might help. Do you want me to go gram ‘em?”

Tim’s expression shifts, and he eyes Dick, like he’s trying to decipher something about him.

“This isn’t exactly an appropriate setting for headphone,” he says after a minute. “I don’t want to be disrespectful.”

“I don’t think anyone here who’s sober enough to notice whether or not you’re wearing headphones is going to feel slighted if you are.”

Tim shrugs stiffly. Dick glances to where his hand is still fidgeting with the flatware, and feels a spark of concern that he might just rub a hole into the pad of his thumb.

“Why don’t we step out for a sec?” He suggests.

“Because it would be rude?” Tim offers uncertainly, not picking up on the rhetorical nature of the question.

“Just for a minute,” Dick insists. He doesn’t like how uneasy Tim is here.

Tim glances around them cautiously, twitching slightly as the band hits a particularly high note, then turns his attention back to Dick and nods.

They head out through the front doors. And while a few people glance at them as they leave, no one hinders their exit.

Outside, Tim seems to finally notice the blister he’s been wearing into his thumb all evening.

“Does that hurt?” Dick asks.

He doesn’t get a response at first, as Tim is frowning down at the finger with apparently intense concentration.

“It’s ugly,” he says after a minute. “I used to pull at the skin around my nails. It never hurt badly, just looked weird.”

“I think Bruce keeps bandaids in the car. I’ll go grab you one.”

“That’s-“ Tim begins.

But Dick is already halfway down the wide outdoor staircase. He doesn’t want to leave Tim along for long if he’s been by himself all night, but figures he probably won’t miss much in the forty five seconds it should take him to get to the car and back.

He finds bandaids, and a set of earplugs in the glove compartment. As he dashes back to the main entrance, he acknowledging that the round trip may have taken closer to sixty five seconds, but figures that’s still pretty good.

When he gets to the top of the stairs Tim’s talking with a woman. Or rather, he’s holding very still and being talked at, by a very unhappy woman, who it takes Dick a moment to recognize as Janet Drake.

“-Don’t know what could possibly have made you think it was appropriate to come out here in the middle of a party. We came back to the table and you were gone! People were asking about you too, and what were we supposed to tell them?”

“Hi,” Dick interrupts, as loudly as he thinks he can get away with, and in a deliberately upbeat voice. “I’m so sorry! I had to get something from my car, and asked Tim to come keep me company. I thought we’d be back in before anyone had a chance to miss us.” He dips his head apologetically, and looks back up with a bashful grin.

Mrs. Drake seems completely caught off guard, looking rapidly between Dick and her son, whose gaze has been mostly focused on a spot behind her right ear. After a minute she manages to force some composure into her expression.

“It’s not that we mind you borrowing him, Mr. Grayson-Wayne. It’s just coming back to the table to find that he’s not there, you understand-“

Dick waves off the rushed explanation of her concern.

“I’m sorry to have worried you.”

She studies him for a minute. Dick isn’t sure what she’s looking for, or what she thinks she’s seeing. But he matches her scrutiny, and forces down the thought that he does not like this woman.

She looks away from him quickly enough, clearing her throat.

“Come, Timothy.”

Dick slips the bandaid and earplugs into Tim’s suit pocket as he follows them back inside, and squeezes his shoulder once there’s no longer a plausible reason for them to be going in the same direction.

He then proceeds to spend the rest of the evening maneuvering himself to keep the Drakes in the periphery of his line of sight, keeping an eye on his little brother. Because Tim can handle himself in this environment, but Dick knows he doesn’t like it, knows that all the sound and bright light gives him a headache. And they’re all a little nervous in crowds. And he knows intellectually that the chances of anything really bad happening tonight aren’t actually all that high. Even so, he needs to look out for Tim, because what if no one else is?

It’s almost too hard to think about. Dick has given himself permission to be a little overprotective, feeling like he has a pretty damn good reason to be. But the thing is, Tim’s not really supposed to need it. Not all the time. Not here. He has a family. Dick has always felt a little guilty for resenting them, but watching the Drake’s go the rest of the night without saying more than a stray word or two to their son makes him wonder if maybe he has the right.

He doesn’t know their situation, not really. But he knows what he sees and he doesn’t like it.

“Can we make sure Tim’s family’s at the same table as us the next time we have to go to one of these?” He asks Bruce later that night, asks as if they themselves aren’t already Tim’s family, even if it feels wrong to imply.

Bruce hums a distracted agreement, and Dick thinks he must see it too.

-

Not that it matters especially, but I kind of picture this happening in the same continuity as this story, but maybe a couple months beforehand (or maybe just a couple of weeks if you want the Drakes to be on the same visit).

Hope you enjoy!

[hockeyisit]

It'll Be Okay.

Summary: Auston and Amelia talk to their son.

A.N: It’s at the end of the story. 

Word Count: 2,472

Masterlist

Auston and I were curled up on the couch as we watched a rerun of That 70s Show. His arm was wrapped around me with his feet stretched out on the coffee table. I leaned into his side turning my head to rest my chin on his chest.

“Are you ready to go up for bed?” I asked, feeling myself growing more tired by the minute. He looked away from the tv to look down at me. His expression softened as he took in my sleepy form.

“Yeah sure. You head up and I’ll be there in a minute,” he said pushing me gently to sit up. I pouted slightly upset he wasn't coming up yet but decided against saying anything. I leaned over and gave him a quick peck on the lips before making my way upstairs. I walked over to Kais bedroom first and knocked. I waited a moment for an answer but after none I knocked again.

“Kai I’m coming in,” I said pushing the door open, only once I was in his room he was nowhere to be found. Maybe he’s in Noah’s room I thought as I walked out of his room to Noah’s. I knocked before announcing that I was coming in. As I pushed the door open Noah was sitting at his desk working on homework.

“Where's your brother?” I asked once I noticed he was alone. Noah looked up from his textbook with an eyebrow raised.

“In his room,”

“Uh no he's not. Try again,” I said, putting my hand on my hip. He glanced at me, his expression radiating annoyance.

“Did you check the bathroom?” he sassed before holding his hands up defensively when I gave him a stern look.

“He’s not in the bathroom, the door was open,” I walked further into the room.

“Do you know where he is?” I asked again. Kai was never one to sneak out of the house; it was something we expected from Noah but never Kai. Noah nervously reached up to rub at the back of his neck.

“He didn’t tell me where he was going,” he finally answered. I ran my hand through my hair frustrated.

“But he isn’t here?” I asked for clarification. He nodded looking back down at his text book. I sighed as I turned to walk out of his room.

“Tell me if he texts you,” I called out softly as I closed his door. I peeked into Brody and Elsa’s room before heading to mine. I pushed the door open to see Auston sitting on the bed facing the wall.

“Kai snuck out,” I said, causing his head to snap to me.

“Are you serious?” He asked standing up and walking over to me. I sighed as I nodded pulling my phone out. I had made both of the boys share their location with me as part of a deal that they could have a later curfew after Noah's sneaking out got to be too much.

“He turned his location off,” I groaned, turning my phone to show Auston. He took it from my hand and looked at it before closing out of the app to pull up Kai’s contact. He hit call and put it on speaker. It dialled for a few moments before going to voicemail. He hit end call and tried again. When he didn’t answer on the second call I pulled my phone from Auston’s grip and sent him a text.

Where are you

Answer now!

“Does Noah know where he is?” he asked, running his hand through his hair. I shook my head no. Auston glanced at me before marching his way out of our room and over to Noah’s. I followed hot on his heels. He pushed Noah’s door open without knocking causing him to jump at his desk.

“Dude,” Noah whined looking at us. Auston gave him a look that shut him up quickly.

“Give me your phone,” Auston asked holding his hand out. Noah looked at him in disbelief as he held it.

“Why?” he asked.

“Noah,” Auston warned, his hand still held out. Noah reluctantly handed it over.

“What's your password?” he asked, Noah reached out and turned it to face him causing it to unlock.

“What are you doing?” he asked. I looked over Auston’s shoulder as he pulled up Kai’s contact and hit call putting it on speaker. He didn’t answer so Auston repeated the action thankfully on the second call his voice finally came through.

“Dude what do you want?” Kai’s voice rang through the phone breathless.

“Dude you're so grounded,” Auston responded. It was silent for a moment before he silently cursed.

“Get home now,” Auston said sternly, he ended the call and handed Noah his phone back before storming out of the room. The two of us watched as he left Noah looking at me concerned.

“Get some rest alright,” I said tapping his shoulder and then leaving him alone.

“Auston,” I called after his retreating figure. He stopped rather abruptly causing me to slightly run into him. His arms quickly reached out to steady us as he turned to face me.

“I’m just going to wait downstairs for him to get home,” he mumbled as he wrapped me up in a hug. I leaned my head against his chest as I hugged him back tightly.

“I’ll wait with you,” I pulled away and leaned up to peck his lips. I then pulled away completely and ran into our bedroom to grab a blanket before following Auston down the stairs.

“Okay are we playing good cop bad cop? Or are we going to just straight up ask if everythings alright? Is he grounded or?” I questioned once we were both cuddled up on the couch. Auston’s hand reached out to cover my mouth causing me to shut up and stare at him with innocent eyes.

“Shh babe, will just ask him why he needed to sneak out,” he said like it was as simple as that. I raised an eyebrow, which made him take his hand off my mouth quickly and send me an innocent smile of his own.

Around ten minutes later Kai walked into the house looking extremely nervous. He slipped his shoes off before turning around to face the two of us. Auston and I stared at him as he awkwardly stared back.

“Have a seat bud,” Auston finally said, breaking the silence. Kai made his way over and sat on the couch next to us.

“Am I in trouble?” he asked hesitantly.

“I guess that depends on if you can tell us where you were,” Auston responded, moving his arm that was wrapped around me.

“I can't tell you,” he responded looking away towards the ceiling. I held my breath as I turned my attention away from Kai to Auston. It wasn't like him to keep secrets from us.

“And why not? Was it anything illegal?” Auston asked impatiently. A panicked look crossed Kai’s face before he relaxed.

“It wasn't anything bad, I was just with a friend,” he said trying to reassure us.

“Who?” I asked leaning further into Auston. He glanced at me before turning back to Kai. We all sat in silence for another minute before Kai let out another long deep sign.

“I can't tell you,” he whispered, his right leg started shaking causing the couch to shake. I turned to give Auston a questioning look before turning back to Kai.

“And why not?” Auston asked confused.

“I’m bisexual,” he whispered after another few minutes of silence. My head snapped up to face Kia as I took in his words. I turned to Aston with a shocked expression. Out of all the things I thought Kai would say that was the furthest from what I actually thought he would say.

“What?” I asked leaning forward and out of Auston’s touch.

“I I uh, I’m Bi and I’m seeing a guy right now,” he stuttered out rubbing the back of his neck as he looked down at his lap. Auston’s grip had tightened around me but had slowly loosened as Kai talked to us.

“Oh my god,” I said as I covered my mouth in shock. Kai and Auston both turned to me looking nervous.

“What?” Kai asked leaning forward on the couch.

“Did we just force you to come out?” I asked, latching onto Auston’s leg in guilt. Kai looked at us in shock for a moment before shaking his head.

“No mom. I just haven’t really needed to tell you guys,” he admitted shrugging his shoulders. I glanced over to Auston hoping that I could get some type of reaction from him. He looked more shocked then I did but other than that he seemed fine.

“But now?” I asked.

“Now I do,” he glanced away from me to Auston, who had been quiet the whole time.

“I’ve been talking to someone and I really like them,” he looked down at his feet. “I can’t tell you who it is because they aren't out but,” he shrugged.

“I’m sorry I snuck out,” he finished.  Auston burst out laughing causing the two of us to look at him in shock.

“Dude,” I said, elbowing him harshly. Kai looked like he was seconds away from making a dash for it. Auston sobered up quickly as he rubbed his side.

“Sorry. I’m not laughing at you. I promise. Kai no matter who you like or fuck your mother and I are going to support you,” Auston said causing me to gasp loudly as I elbowed him again. Although I agreed with his words I wish he had been a little less vulgar.

“But kid sneak out again and you're grounded for the rest of your life. Also if you're willing to come out and he’s not then he’s not worth your time,” Auston told him gently.

“It’s complicated,” Kai said looking away. I stood up and made my way over to him so I could pull him into a hug.  

“Have you told Noah?” I asked, leaving my arm around him. He shook his head no.

“Nobody knows,” he glanced between the two of us.

“I do think you should consider telling Noah because he seemed pretty hurt that you snuck out without telling him,” Auston teased. I laughed lightly as I rubbed my arm up and down his back.

“I do want to tell people I’m just worried I guess,” he glanced down at his hands as he nervously fiddled with his bracelet.

“If I come out and if I make it to the MLB I’d be like the only out player. It would draw so much attention to me and I don’t really want to be known as the gay player. I also don’t want it to negatively affect Noah. If he gets interviewed theyll ask about what it's like-'' he ranted as he fiddled. Auston reached out and grabbed his hand.

“Kai, you're overthinking it. Yeah it might be scary to be one of the only out players but it’s scarier to live in fear. It’s important for you to be yourself and we live in a time where people are more accepting. I get that the lockerooms can still be rough,-” Auston griminaced slightly as he thought back to all the gay slur’s he had heard or laughed at back in the day.

“Be who you are. Your mother and I will unconditionally love you no matter what,” he trailed off. Kai’s eyes filled with tears slightly, he tried to hide it by looking away. I reached out for his other hand.

“Papi’s right,” I squeezed his hand.

“I know that the locker rooms can be really bad sometimes but the leagues are all truly more accepting and we live in a generation now that is trying to change. I’m sorry if coming out to us was scary for you. I truly hope Papi and I haven't ever said anything to make you feel scared to tell us.”

“No mom it wasn't anything like that I promise,” he glanced up at me trying to reassure me. As I went to say more we heard the sound of the stairs creaking. Noah casually making his way down the stairs only to stop abruptly when he saw the scene in front of him. I shared a quick look with Kai and he gave us a nod. I dropped his hand and stood up Auston doing the same. Kai stood up as well.

“Alright will talk more tomorrow. You boys get to bed soon you have school in the morning,” I warned them. They both nodded

“Love you guys,” I told them and pulled Kai into a quick hug before doing the same with Noah. Auston and I quickly made our escape upstairs. I pushed our bedroom door open and Auston closed it behind him. He reached out for me and pulled me into a tight hug. I let out a soft sigh as I wrapped my arms around him.

“What a night,” I laughed lightly as I pulled away to look at his face. Auston sent me a small smirk as he nodded.

“Yeah for real,” he looked like he was in deep thought so I pulled away to go brush my teeth and get ready for bed.

“Do you think I should make like a big breakfast or something tomorrow?” I asked after the silence went on for a little too long. Auston looked up from his phone with a small frown.

“No,” he mumbled. I frowned as I made my way over to him. He was being more moody than usual.

“What’s wrong?” I sat next to him on the bed causing him to lock his phone.

“I feel like I should have known and I didn’t mean to laugh,” he mumbled as he laid down on the bed. He moved his arm to rest over his face as he thought back to just a few moments ago. His shirt rode up slightly. I reached out and placed my hand on his chest as I leaned closer. I knew that if I didn't say anything it would force Auston to keep talking.

“He looked two seconds away from bursting into tears when I started laughing and I feel really bad,” he continued.

“Babe he was just shocked. You said all the right things and he knows that you are supportive. He knows we love him,” I schooced closer so I could rest my head on his chest causing him to move his arm from his face to around me.

“I’ll make breakfast in the morning,” Auston mumbled. I grinned up at him as he leaned forward to connect our lips.

“Yay,” I said softly as I started to doze off in his arms.

“Love you.”

A.N Hello! Here's just a quick little glimpse into the future of Auston and Amelia! Hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. Another thing I want to say is that I myself am bisexual and for a really long time I wanted to make Amelia bisexual because of that but I was never to sure what to do with that because I know a lot of my readers may not be bisexual themselves. So I came up with the idea of one of the twins being bi almost immediately. Anyway I hope it was something yall enjoyed reading. I love hearing your feedback and questions so don't be afraid to send them in! Also thank you so much for all the support I have received in these past few months you guys have really helped me through a really hard semester.

[monipoka]

Addressing Content Warning Concerns

I am writing in response to points that were brought up concerning my recent post. If you haven’t read that post, you can find it here.

Be warned that this is a very long post (2.8k words). It deals with the topics of pedophilia and rape. Opinions expressed are my own; however, I do offer some resources for you to better educate yourself on this post’s content.

I will not provide a link to the user that responded as she had no ill intentions. Disclaimer if the said user reads this post, I write with peace and love at 4:00 A.M. There are a couple of places where I may sound aggressive or petty, but it is analytical and not meant to invalidate you or your opinions.

Red = user’s response with minimal changes (adjusted for grammar and clarification)

Black = my response

Part 1: Age Regression and Infantilization

To learn more about age regression, here are two lovely articles describing what age regression means medically and socially.

“Age regression [agere] is a form of coping meant to eliminate stress in potentially triggering situations. Agere is not a part of sexual play and never should be. I believe [Moni] is confusing agere for age play.”

This completely misses the mark. I understand that age regressors enter a younger psychological state often as a coping mechanism. There is nothing inherently wrong with age regression as therapy. My complaints are that people are FETISHIZING age regression. As stated in my post, age regressors enter the mindset of a child commonly called a “little space.” These individuals are to be treated like children as it helps them feel safe and loved.

In my experience on Tumblr, writers commonly misinterpret Daddy Dominant, Little Girl (DDLG) or Age Play (the larger, umbrella term) for age regression. For the purposes of explanation, I am going to be using DDLG and she/her pronouns. DDLG is a type of BDSM relationship where the dominant partner (male) takes on the role of a care-giver while the submissive partner (female) takes on the role of a child. This dynamic is pretend and intended for sexual interactions. Keyword here: pretend. While the submissive portrays childish behavior, she still has an adult mindset; therefore, she can give meaningful consent. Once writers describe the submissive slipping into “little space,” her mindset is corrupt as she has age regressed; therefore, she cannot give meaningful consent making the interaction non-consensual as she embodies a child.

“Infantilization is treating somebody as if they’re a child. For example, ‘babying’ someone is the best explanation for it. This, in my opinion, is not pedophilia because it’s not inherently sexual. If it IS sexual, I wouldn’t necessarily classify it as pedophilic, but it is questionable.”

Again, this misses the mark. In a non-sexual context, infantilization is completely okay. My complaints are that people are FETISHIZING the infantilization of characters. I used this term as an alternative language to age regression because I have encountered both on this site.

“Age Play, in my opinion, is pedophilic due to how the 'older’ of the partners is benefitting from it. So if [Moni] and I are thinking the same thing, but not really using the same terminology, then I agree.”

Age Play is a kink in the BDSM community between two consenting and level-headed adults.

Age Regression is characterized by regressing back to a younger headspace.

Sexualizing age regression is pedophilic because age regressors feel, act, and exhibit childlike qualities; they genuinely believe that they are a child.

If age play includes “little space,” then it is pedophilic because the submissive has age regressed.

“None of these is what I would consider illegal due to the fact that both parties are consenting adults. But age play definitely is pedophilic. But, obviously, if both people are adults, it can’t be considered illegal.”

I called pedophilia (and rape) illegal. In the eyes of the law, sexualizing age play--given that the individual is of age--is legal. This point used the transitive property of equality (Trans POE) to point out the hypocrisy in condemning pedophilia but supporting the fetishization of age regression. To clarify, it may not be illegal, but it is morally wrong.

“Infantilization and age regression aren’t inherently pedophilic because they revolve around the idea of a mindset and not physicality.”

This is contradictory to your previous point and only half true. Age regressors largely rely on physical objects (ie. clothes, stuffed animals, pacifiers) to feel safe. While the root of age regression involves a change in psyche, it is reflected in their appearance and environment.

Part 2: Dubious Consent and Non-consensual

To learn more about rape, here is a wonderful article on non-consensual sex.

“Secondly, I’m quite confused on what she [Moni] is saying regarding calling dubcon [dubious consent] and noncon [non-consentual] rape instead of dubcon and noncon.

They are rape, or at least some form of sexual assault, but I don’t think anyone’s trying to mask them from being as such.”

I whole-heartedly disagree. It is apparent by the staggering number of dubcon and noncon posts that people use these terms to try and justify writing rape because they consider it a “fetish.” The reason I am against these terms is that writers never specifically condemn them. Oftentimes, writers mix the content of the fic into their warning section. So, by writing ‘blowjob’ next to ‘dubcon’ it underscores the severity of the situation.

“Categorizing both of the two as 'rape’ could potentially end up being very damaging. Rape is a very triggering and harsh word for some people, which is why I believe a lot of people use non-consensual sex as a term to avoid potentially triggering people.”

Again, I believe that people use dubcon and noncon to try and justify their rape “fetish.” However, if using the term “rape” is triggering to some individuals and the terms “dubcon” and “noncon” are used as a substitution, why aren’t these writers coming out and explicitly saying that they do not support these types of interactions? Furthermore, why are they writing and sharing this content in the first place if they acknowledge it as rape?

“Also, I think it’s important to clarify whether the 'sexual assault’ in fiction is dubious or non-consensual. There’s a big difference between both parties being drunk in a fic (dubcon) and hard rape, and it’s important to distinguish the two in warning columns.”

Drunk people can’t consent. Both situations are rape. The “level” of rape that you refer to, being how consensual it is, is more damaging in my opinion. Because they were drunk, it means less than if they were sober. This perpetuates victim shaming. She was asking for it. She shouldn’t have drunk so much. Rape is rape. It is never okay. And one rape is never better than another.

“Dubcon is also very important to clarify in fics due to the fact that dubcon is only a fictional concept. It helps indicate the level of consent given in the fiction because someone could be not triggered by sex under intoxication but can be triggered by hard noncon.”

I’m going to use a quote I cited from this source because I feel that the writer describes dubcon more eloquently than I can: “What bothers me the most about this situation, and what I think you are partly getting at here, is when people say that their fic isn't "noncon" or they say it is "dubcon" or "noncon depending on your point of view." Come on! Have the guts to admit that what they're writing is rape. Dubious consent bothers me as a qualifier because if you aren't sure whether someone is consenting, you don't do it or it's rape. No excuses. So, I think that people should just bite the bullet and say, this is a rape fic.... If people want to write rape fic, go for it, and I will probably read it, but let's step up and acknowledge what it is we are writing. I take issue with these qualifiers because I think that it is far more insidious than out and out rape porn. At least when we say it is rape, then we can move on to the next step: saying it's wrong, just a fantasy, etc. But avoiding the label perpetuates the rape myths that have had such a damaging effect on victims and justice: did she enjoy it, she didn't really say no, she was a tease, they've done it before. None of those things matter, and when a person labels their fic, they need to stop pretending they do.”

Essentially, the writer is reiterating what I explained in my previous comment that rape is rape. Another statement that I found describes how damaging fiction can be in real life. While most readers understand that what occurred didn’t really happen, there are real-life consequences attributed to it: “...However, not everyone in fandom uses those terms in those ways. And I think that's a problem that we need to fix. Because, especially when situations that exist in real life and that would be called rape in real life are labeled "dubcon," I think it does real harm to us all.....We currently live in a culture where not fighting back - because, for example, the rapist has threatened to kill you, or someone else, or your pet, if you don't go along with it - will very often get a rape case overturned in court. Where judges and juries and god knows the popular media will pick out and analyze every detail of a person's life to determine whether they were asking for it, whether they secretly wanted it, whether they could have conceivably fought back more than they did, why they didn't scream, why they didn't report the blackmail that was used to control them, whether or not their "consent" might've been implicitly given by winks or nods or secret handshakes or a general miasma of sexual invitation. In other words, we live in a world in which rape culture, a thing we all unwittingly participate in at one time or another, works very very hard to label things dubcon when they're really noncon.”

“Most people 'romanticizing’ non-consensual sex are victims who are trying to gain some sort of control over their trauma, so they have every right to do so. If a victim of rape should have the ability to choose whether or not they want to read/write a noncon fic and if they don’t want to use the word rape because it makes them uncomfortable, they don’t have to and shouldn’t be forced to.

As a victim of rape and sexual assault, I find peace in having the control and ability to write about my trauma. It's a way for me to gain back control that I lost and the word rape does make me uncomfortable, it makes many victims uncomfortable, and if I prefer not to use that word then I should not have to if people know synonymous terms.”

Romanticize: deal with or describe in an idealized or unrealistic fashion; make (something) seem better or more appealing than it really is.

If you are writing/reading smut, you are trying to get off. If you are writing/reading dubcon/noncon smut, you are getting off to rape. Instead of writing/reading about how heinous rape is and how disgusting rape culture is, you write/read fics romanticizing rape since as a reader you enjoy the content to some extent: it is with your favorite character, it takes place in a cool universe, it got you horny, you felt good after reading it. Romanticizing rape is damaging to society as it subconsciously makes rape appealing. I doubt that is the intention, but you can’t deny that these underlying connections exist.

There is a difference between writing to cope and writing to entertain. My intention has never been to victim shame. But writing non-consensual sex between anime characters and a reader-insert is a form of entertainment. Remember the purposes of writing we learned about in elementary school? Yeah, I have a hard time believing that this is therapeutic. Journal therapy uses reflective writing to work through trauma and mental health issues. In sexual assault cases specifically, victims often write about their experience and/or letters to their perpetrator(s). However, if this is your way to cope, that’s fine. But writing rape fics is not the same as sharing rape fics.

“People know the severity of noncon and dubcon, which is what I think [Moni] is missing. No one is trying to not make noncon rape because it is rape. People know that it is. Most people just chose to say 'noncon’ to avoid unnecessarily triggering others.”

Do they? I think to my previous comments in this section, people use these terms to downplay the seriousness of rape.

“And there are far more 'consensual’ fics out there than noncon/dubcon fics, so I don’t exactly understand what [Moni] means by 'romanticize’ or 'normalize it.’”

Two comments up I describe what romanticization is and how it is being done in the community. I’m going to ignore the number part of this statement because I feel that there is no relevance; If there is a platform for rape fics and people are engaging with them, numbers don’t matter relative to another type of fic. I call that authors romanticize consensual sex because it is oftentimes not explicitly stated, and I think it should be. The character(s) and reader are in a relationship and sex is a byproduct of that (I do not consider this dubcon). Personally, I have found very few fics where explicit consent is written in. People sometimes think that asking for consent interrupts the flow and ruins a moment. Works of fiction have an impact on real life, and writing/reading about consent serves to reinforce healthy practices.

“Going off of that, I don’t understand what [Moni] means by 'fairly young’ audiences. I'm hoping that most 18+ consumers are, you know, eighteen or older (obviously that's not the case in all situations), and eighteen is a legal adult. Most people over the age of eighteen are very aware of what these terms mean, and they know right from wrong. So, there should be no need to clarify what 'noncon’ is for them.”

My point is that this community is relatively young. I have not encountered many writers or readers who are over the age of 25 (if you are, kudos). At this age, you lack experience. Many of these readers have never had sex or been in a relationship before. While you might know the difference between rape and consensual sex on paper, some of these things are more subtle--especially in person. You referenced drunk sex as something that you’d classify as dubcon although intoxicated individuals can’t consent. I recently read a fic where the reader was drunk and picked up at the bar by a character. He asked the reader if they consented to sex and they agreed. This is still rape as you cannot consent while intoxicated since alcohol impairs judgment. Regardless of enjoyment, which the reader experienced, this is still sexual assault. Can you see the confusion by labeling that dubcon? What is a young adult to think when they’ve been manipulated into sex but told they consented? It’s confusing, so these terms should be clarified.

Part 3: Fiction

To learn more about how fiction affects reality, here is this interesting TED-Ed animation that summarizes fiction’s impact. Also, I read this article that cites more examples.

“Also, our writing shouldn’t have to equate 'good practices,’ because a healthy-minded individual knows how to separate fiction and reality. Give people the freedom to write about whatever they want, whether it’s in private or not, that's what fiction is for.”

You claim that you don’t want to use the word rape to trigger people, so you acknowledge that not all readers are health-minded as they could be suffering from trauma or mental illness. Likewise, some individuals can’t discern fiction from reality.

More importantly, there is a connection between fiction and reality.

“Finally, I don't think we should be so open with connecting real-life issues with fictional ones. No one is going to become a rapist or want to be raped because they read fiction on it unless they’re truly a rapist or have been raped. Equating fictional works to real-life problems is a little insulting, whether [Moni] intended it to be or not.”

Watch the video and read the article. Fiction directly impacts culture and society. It may be insulting, but it’s factual.

“Because in the end, in rape fiction, no one actually got raped. In pedophilic fiction (I don’t support it don’t get me wrong), no one was actually a victim of pedophilia. Because they’re all fictional.”

That doesn’t make it okay. Again, my problem is that writers ROMANTICIZE these topics which reflect poorly on society.

“If someone is concerned about pedophilia and rape fiction, I believe it would be best to work towards real-life solutions to those real-life problems compared to criticizing fiction authors.”

If you’re concerned about pedophilia and rape FICTION, I’d hope you’d criticize FICTION authors. Honestly, this seems to be a diversion tactic to avoid accountability.

Part 4: “No Offense, but You’re Wrong About Everything”

“Overall, I think [Moni] had good intentions, but it was poorly worded.

You pose a counter argument to each of my points and make it sound like I did not educate myself beforehand. You then deflect to talking about rape and pedophilia in real-world context to downplay the severity of pedophilia and rape in fiction.

I sound petty here, and I do not mean for my words to hurt. I wish that there was some communication beforehand since it seems that there was confusion. If my original post was unclear, I hope my comments help.

Conclusion

This is for everyone:

Please check out the resources I provided and do your own research to understand the situation before forming your own opinion.

No hate to the writer of the response. I just wish you would have reached out directly for clarification before taking my words out of context and assuming their meaning.

[vsquadgoals]

4am Cuddles

Y/n is from Chicago and had recently moved to LA which took months of convincing from her best friends, Natalie, David and Ilya. She decided it was finally time to make the move and David was letting her move in with him and Natalie since they have an extra room, it was all perfect. Y/n is a dance teacher and has recently been blowing up online for her dancing videos which is what made her finally make the move. She has been in LA for 2 or so weeks now and she was finally meeting the rest of David and Natalie’s friends who they’ve told her so much about, she’s been busy filming and looking for a studio to teach at which is why she hasn’t met them already. The whole group was going to be coming over today, so she was in her room getting ready, she put on a white spaghetti strap crop top and green high waisted cargo pants. She was brushing her hair when Natalie knocked on her door. “Come in.” She called putting some products into her hair.  

“Hey, everyone’s pretty much here.” Natalie said leaning against the door frame. “Okay I’m almost ready, how do I look?” She asks smiling. “As beautiful as ever, now come on.” She grabs her hand dragging her out to the living room where a couple people were already sitting around talking. “Guys this is our hometown friend Y/n, Y/n this is everyone.” Natalie says beaming with excitement, she introduces her to everyone, and they sit on the lovesac together.  

“So, y/n, how long have you known David and Natalie for?” Heath asks putting his arm around Mariah. “I met them when we were in... I think 7th grade.” She answers looking at David for clarification and he nodded in agreement. They all sit and chat for a while before someone else thinks of a question to ask her. “Y/n do you have a boyfriend back in Chicago?” Zane asks causing David to smack his arm. Y/n giggles and shakes her head at David. “It’s fine Dave. No, I actually only date girls.” She says nonchalantly and everyone’s caught off guard. She smirks and shrugs her shoulders “Alright guys don’t act like you’ve never seen a lesbian before.” Natalie teases from her spot cuddled up next to y/n. They all joked around for hours filming different bits for David and everyone’s vlogs, Mariah talked about dancing and filmed a few tik toks together and of course Zane got into a few. A few people stayed inside chatting and some people were sitting outside by the fire pit David has in the back yard.  

Y/n is sitting outside next to the fire watching the sunset in the backyard. “I’ll never get tired of this.” She says filming it to post on her story. Carly and Erin nod smiling. “It’s amazing! We’ve seen it a million times and we’re still obsessed with this view! David did good with this house that’s for sure!” Carly replies, y/n turns toward the girls and smiles. “So, you guys have a channel together?” She asks pulling her knees to her chest getting more comfortable. “Yeah we moved out here and got an apartment together and we actually started vlogging before David, but his vlogs just took off way faster.” Erin explains, “We do vlogs, sit down videos and sometimes we’ll do a Starbucks tasting video with David.” Carly says giggling. “I saw one of those! So funny.” Y/n says excited giggling a little. “Really? Well thanks. I thought you would only watch David’s videos.” Erin says smiling happily, “I usually do but I’ve seen your videos and some of Jason’s, but I also had met him a bunch before I moved out here.” She explains, she was so happy that she was clicking with the group, it was making her feel more content with her choice to move out here.  

It’s about 1:30 when everyone finally leaves and it’s just David, Nat and Y/n again.  They clean up anything that was left around from their friends and they all head into their own rooms to get some sleep. Y/n was editing a couple videos she filmed today so she was up for another hour before finally changing into just a long t shirt and falling asleep in her warm comforter. It felt like Y/n only had her eyes closed for two second when she felt someone nudging her awake. “Y/n/n....” Natalie whispered. Y/n’s eyes opened slowly, and she stretched looking up at her friend. “Nat? Is everything okay? What time is it?” she asks sleepily, Natalie bit her lip. “Everything is fine, its 4AM. I wanted to know if I could come cuddle with you?” She asks nervously, Y/n blinks her eyes a few more times before she realizes what Natalie said. “You come into my room and wake me up at 4AM to cuddle?” She asks shaking her head and giggling. Natalie frowns and shakes her head embarrassed. “You’re right this was stupid, sorry.” Y/n grabs her hand before she can leave, she moves over and lifts her blankets making room for Natalie. “Come on, you don’t have to ask.” Natalie happily climbs into the bed pressing her ass against y/n who wraps her arm around Natalie’s waist pulling her closer and burying her face into her hair. “Go to sleep Nat.” She whispers into her hair before they both fall back asleep.  

Natalie wakes up before Y/n, she has her face buried in her chest when she first wakes up, Natalie smiles looking up at her. Natalie has always had a crush on y/n since she was younger, but she never said anything, Natalie always thought of herself as straight, Y/n is the only girl she’s ever had any feelings for. Once Y/n agreed to move out here finally and David and Natalie talked about Y/n living with them she’s been reminded of that old crush she had that never faded and now since they live together it was getting stronger and she was having a hard time hiding it. Natalie snuggles closer to Y/n and her arms tighten around her waist kissing her head in her sleep. Y/n’s hands run up and down Natalie’s back slowly while she sleeps, Natalie bites her lip enjoying her friend’s hands on her way more then she probably should be.  

Y/n sighs softly her eyes slowly fluttering open, she looks down at Natalie who looked up at her when she felt her start to wake up. “Good morning sleeping beauty.” Natalie whispers, it took all of herself control not to lean up and kiss y/n right on her lips. Y/n smiles at her friend, she pulls her hands away from Natalie’s waist to rub the sleep from her eyes, a whine leaves Natalie’s lips before she can stop it when she lets her go. She looks at Natalie confused. “You okay Nat?” she asks propping herself up on her elbows. Natalie’s cheeks turn bright red from embarrassment, she clears her throat and shakes her head. “Uh... yeah sorry I was just comfy.” She mumbles trying to cover it up, Y/n smiles and nods. “I know me too but I have to edit some videos.” Natalie nods and takes the hint climbing out of her bed and heading to her room to get ready for the day.

This happens almost every night, Natalie sneaks into Y/n’s room between 2 and 4 am and crawls into her bed cuddling against her. At first y/n didn’t think anything of it but she had done it almost every night this week. Tonight, the group was at David’s again and everyone was dancing and drinking, Y/n was nursing her 3rd mixed drink that Zane had made for her. David was filming everyone as always and Y/n and Corinna were dancing together, Corinna was grinding against Y/n and one of her hands was gripping Corinna’s hip and the other was holding her drink. David was filming them and Y/n winked at the camera before sipping her drink, David laughs and shakes his head. “Yes! That was perfect, Y/n!” Her and Corinna giggle “She’s a natural David.” Corinna teases looking over her shoulder at Y/n who rolls her eyes at her smirking. David had sent Natalie to go grab more alcohol from the store since they were running low. When Natalie gets back Y/n is sitting in the kitchen on one of the bar stools talking to Mariah about some video ideas she has, and Corinna is standing in between Y/n’s legs leaning back against her lap. Y/n wraps her arms around Corinna’s waist “I think we should do one teaching David and Heath tik tok dances! Those are really blowing up lately.” She says to Mariah who nods excitedly “YES! That’s perfect!”  

Natalie walks into the kitchen with the bags and notices Corinna and y/n she sets the bags on the counter ignoring the girls her heart is breaking the longer Y/n holds Corinna against her like she holds Natalie at night. “Hey Nattie.” Y/n says smiling at her, her smile drops immediately when Natalie barely waves at them before setting the bottles of liquor on the bar in the hallway. “Bubbah! You gotta come see this!” Heath calls Mariah away from the two girls. “Sorry guys, Y/n we’ll talk more about this later.” Y/n smiles and nods at her as she walks toward her boyfriend.  

Corinna turns around and wraps her arms around Y/n’s neck, she smiles putting her hands on Corinna’s lower back smirking up at her. “So, what in the world has gotten into you?” Y/n asks her raising her brow. Y/n has known Corinna since she was a junior in high school and she has never shown any type of interest in her, not that she was complaining, Corinna’s drop-dead gorgeous. Corinna shrugs biting her lip. “I don’t know, you just look so fucking good, also a little liquid courage too I’m sure.” Corinna admits. Y/n shakes her head and cups Corinna’s cheek, “How about when you’re nice and sober we’ll revisit this.” She kisses her forehead and stands walking away.  

Y/n sits next to Natalie on the lovesac and puts her hand on her leg. “What’s up Nat? Why are you over here all alone?” She asks concerned, Natalie sighs and looks at Y/n. “What happened to Corinna?” She asks ignoring her question, Y/n wrinkles her nose, “Corinna’s had a little too much to drink, I’m not getting into that. Why don’t we go to my room and talk?” Y/n stood and helped Natalie stand from the giant beanbag following her into the bedroom. Y/n sits on her bed and pulls Natalie in between her legs her hands on her waist. “Please tell me what’s wrong...” She begs frowning up at her, Natalie sighs and runs her fingers through her own hair. “I’m jealous.” She admits throwing her hands in the air. Y/n eyes go wide but Natalie continues before she can respond. “And I don’t know why because we’re friends and you don’t even know that I have these feelings for you so why would you not go after another girl or flirt with someone in front of me.” Natalie continues to rant, and Y/n is in shock, Natalie has feelings for her? And is jealous that she’s flirting with someone? Y/n grabs Natalie’s face and kisses her roughly, Natalie wraps her arms around Y/n’s neck and whines when she pulls away from the kiss. “Why did you do that?” She whispers breathless, Y/n smirks and looks into her eyes biting her lip. “I needed to shut you up so I could tell you that I have feelings for you too.” Y/n replies, Natalie’s eyes go ride and she squeals throwing herself on top of Y/n kissing her.  

A/n: please let me know what you think! xoxo

[runmilder]

Henchman

AO3 link here

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: DCU, DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types Rating: Teen Relationships: Dick Grayson/reader Tags: coffee dates, Mind Control, And Romance, oh my!, POV Second Person

Summary: 

Sometimes you’re the hero. Sometimes you’re the victim. And sometimes… sometimes you’re just the overpaid lackey.

Living in Gotham is a bit like living in the eye of an infinite hurricane. Sure, it’s calm for now, but you can see the wall of the storm on all sides, and you’re left to wonder if you have enough time to make it to the 7-Eleven and back before the next wave hits. Except instead of rain and wind, it’s going to be clowns or cultists or whatever the villain flavor of the week happens to be.

This week, it’s… eldritch creatures?

“Oh, for the love of—” You dodge a whip-like tentacle and stumble into the brick siding of the convenience store. There’s nothing particularly convenient about it when its barred windows shatter and shower you in a fine hail of glass. You cover your head, eyes shut, and wish you’d just eaten what was in your fridge.

Somewhere nearby, sirens wail.

Today, it seems, you’ve been caught out in the storm. And unlucky you, you forgot to bring your umbrella and Lovecraft survival guide.

Another dark, writhing shape launches itself at you, suckers flaring, and you lunge into an alley at a run. You’ve seen this anime. Doesn’t end well for hapless schoolgirls.

Ordinarily, dark alleys are a huge no-go in Gotham city, but “ordinary” doesn’t really cover this situation. Besides, if there’s a gun-toting thug behind a dumpster, you hope the many-limbed creature—creatures?—go for them first.

Something flies over your head, close enough that you can feel the downdraft. You duck belatedly, knees hitting the pavement. There’s a sound like someone hitting a wet sack with a bat, then a crackle, a shriek, and a smell of charred meat. And over it all, the pervasive scent of garbage.

Eau-de-Gotham.

You turn to see the broad back of one of the city’s many costumed crusaders, and if you had the breath to spare, you’d sigh in relief. Nightwing wails on one thick tentacle, batons lit up and buzzing.

“Keep going!” he shouts back at you, hurtling into the heart of the mess. From the mouth of the alley, you see someone in red joining the fray.

Calvary present, you waste no time in booking it the rest of the way down the alley, resolving to take the long way back to your apartment.

Back home, the news blathers on about a science experiment gone wrong or some shit—what else is new—and switches to an aerial view of shadowed figures just going to town on equally dark, inhuman shapes. You can see your local junk food stop to their right, its windows shattered. You bet if you open your own window, you’ll be able to hear some of the commotion.

Your microwave shrills, and you flick off the television with a long-suffering sigh.

Just another Tuesday in Gotham.

Wednesday brings with it a fair number of actual storms, and a date with your sort-of boyfriend.

“You look rough,” he says, taking in your rain-ravaged form.

“Dick,” you say as both address and acknowledgment of his entirely uncalled-for observation.

He grins. “I bought you a coffee.”

“You’re on thin ice, buddy.” You take the proffered cup anyway.

Dick is sitting by the window of the coffee shop, legs stretched out under the small table. You sit across from him and try to figure out how to arrange your own limbs without disturbing him. He takes a sip of his drink, clearly amused, before trapping your legs between both of his own and settling back with a smug look. You consider struggling for a moment, but you can feel his muscles flexing beneath the denim, and hoo boy, that’s not a battle you’d win. You lean back, adopting what you hope is an impassive look, but from the way Dick continues to radiate smug satisfaction, you think it’s a loss.

“So,” you say, hoping to guide this interaction back to neutral ground. “How’s work?”

“Work’s good.” He shrugs, and you try not to stare at the way his shirt tightens around his shoulders. “Routine stuff. Uneventful.” He never wants to talk about work. “How’s class?”

You groan. That question has hounded you for the past four years.

“I just signed up for my last semester. Can’t come soon enough, honestly.”

Dick nods. “You continuing with that internship in the spring?”

“Mhm.” You jiggle your cup, feeling the liquid slosh. “Dr. Irving wants to keep me on. Says I’m “good with the kids.””

“The “kids” being…”

“Her plants,” you say.

You both share a smirk.

Dick sobers. “Listen,” he says. “I was thinking—”

“Dangerous.”

“Seriously.” His legs tighten around yours. “What if you had another offer?”

“Paying what she does? In this economy?” Your laugh is only half mocking. “Honestly, I’m still waiting for the other shoe to drop there, but until then…” You raise your cup in a salute.

Dick leans forward. “What about double?”

“I’m sorry?”

“What if you were offered double what you’re making with the good doctor to… what? Water her plants and stay out of her way?”

Your mind blanks. “Uhh…”

Sounds shady as hell. You already feel like you’re getting away with highway robbery with what Dr. Irving is paying you. Or, at least, what her research lab is paying you. And also, rude, you do more than water plants and make yourself scarce.

You also make ungodly amounts of herbal tea.

“I… like all of my organs?” you finally say.

“I said a job, babe, not a back-alley procedure.”

“Actually, you said “offer,” which sounds infinitely more ominous.”

His eye-roll is more of a full-head-roll, and when his neck stretches, you catch sight of a discolored spot on the skin beneath his jaw.

“Is that a… hickey?” you say slowly. It doesn’t really look like a hickey. It actually looks like he was shot in the neck with a giant suction cup dart.

He claps a hand over the spot. “Um. N-yeah.”

“Nyeah?” You narrow your eyes.

This isn’t even about the possibility of Dick necking another person—a person with a lamprey mouth, apparently—as you’re not exactly clear on the parameters of your relationship. Such as it is. It’s just that the spot on his neck is niggling at something in your brain. His reaction is equally suspicious, although he locks it up pretty fast.

“Sorry, I—” He looks pained. “Stuff… happened last night. It was… electric.” The flat tone of his voice belies his words.

You open your mouth. Close it.

Is this where you ask for clarification about the two of you? Broach the topic of exclusivity?

…Why does this feel like one of those situations where a guy claims to have been watching porn when he’s really been watching something weirdly hard to explain, like Teletubby conspiracy theories?

“Dick, what’s really goi—” you start, but a low-tone buzz interrupts you, and Dick already has his discrete work phone in hand, eyes flicking over the screen.

He mutters something under his breath. “Look, I have to—” He looks at you, grimacing. “I am so, so sorry. I don’t mean to ditch you after—” He waves a hand to encompass the tense air between you.

You frown, confused and frustrated. You definitely feel like you’re missing something.

Dick slides his chair back, his legs detangling themselves from yours in one deft movement.

“Can I call you later?” he asks. The expression on his face speaks volumes for what answer he expects.

You surprise him by nodding. You’re still staring at the angry mark.

He lets out a short breath through his nose. “I—okay. Good.” He bends over you for a second, hesitating, before pecking you on the head. “Stay dry.”

And then he’s gone.

You’re left with half a cup of cooling coffee and a head full of questions.

Dr. Paula Irving is a little prickly, but also mostly absent, so she’s pretty much the best boss ever. When you were flipping through internship applications, S.T.A.R. Lab’s jumped out because—hello, “paid.” Right there in print. You weren’t sure what pittance could be expected for a botanist’s undergrad assistant, so when you interviewed—first with the lab, and then with the scientist herself—and she told you the sum, your jaw nearly hit the floor.

“It’s an incentive,” she said, eyes looking through you. “Treat them well.”

You didn’t care at that point whether her plants required only the blood of virgins—you were getting this internship, dammit.

Thankfully, the lab’s greenhouse inhabitants need only the usual upkeep: sunlight, water, and occasional pruning. You spend the first week learning the ins and outs of plant care under your employer’s watchful eye, and after that, you are left to your duties in silence. It’s calm, methodical work, and the green space is always nap-weather warm. It’s nice.

Sometimes, when you’ve finished tending the plants, you’re to help Dr. Irving with… whatever it is that she’s doing. It mostly involves you wearing protective gear in the little white tent she’s erected and keeping the temperature steady on the vials of plant extracts that she’s examining. Occasionally, she even trusts you with a small knife, and you dice what looks like diseased plant pieces and put them on microscope slides. She never bothers to explain what she’s working towards, and you’re not getting paid to ask questions.

It’s kind of a soap-bubble existence.

That being said, you don’t expect it to pop as it does.

“Hey, Doc, sorry I’m late. There was a guy with sonic weapons on my normal route, and my taxi had to—” You stutter to a halt, taking in the scene.

Normally, your employer is dressed to kill—business skirts, heels, the whole nine yards—but today she seems to be taking the saying a little more seriously.

“I’ll just...” You make a grab for the door handle, looking to make a speedy exit.

A vine darts out to cinch your arms to your waist. You suck in a shallow breath and wonder what it is about you and tentacle-like things lately. At least the vine doesn’t have suckers on it.

Wait—

“Now this is unfortunate,” Poison Ivy née Paula Irving says, shattering your thoughts. She glides closer, plants blooming in her wake. You feel like you’re looking at some carnal painting of Eve, all leaves and bare skin. “I had hoped to avoid complications like this. Keep my work and home life separate, if you will.”

You knew this job was too good to be true. Science credits and competitive pay? You should have just taken out a loan.

“Look, I won’t tell anyone—” you say, the words tumbling out before you can catch them. You really don’t want to find out what it feels like to have vines grow up your sinus cavities and into your brain.

“Of course not, sweet thing.” The woman has a smile as poisonous as her name. She strokes a hand down your face. “We’re going to make sure of it.”

The puff of pollen isn’t what you’re expecting. You sneeze, once.

Then things get a little… hazy.

“Now we have a lot to do today, and I’m going to need you to be a very good helper.”

You find yourself nodding. You can be a good helper. You can be a great helper.

Something soft pats your cheek. “That’s what I like to hear.”

There’s something wrong.

Dr. Irv—Pam—seems unfazed, and she would know—she knows everything—but there’s still… something. You pause in your fiddling with a line of heating concoctions, head spinning. It’s like a ringing in your ears. Like a ringing in your whole head.

“Don’t let that extract burn,” Pam says sharply, and the moment is lost.

You adjust the temperature, happy to be of help.

You’re not sure how long you’ve been here, but it’s not important. Pam says you’re close—so close—to completion, and it would be a shame to stop now.

You agree. Why leave when you could be here, helping?

Some distant message in your brain pings, but you send it straight to voicemail. You have the brief thought that maybe you should sit down, but there are no chairs here, and you can’t just leave. Pam says you should stay in this room, and that seems reasonable. There’s too much to do.

Something pings again, and this time it’s not in your head.

“Be a dear and turn off your phone, would you? It’s bad lab manners,” Pam says. She doesn’t look up from her slides.

You float over to your shoulder bag, feeling mortified. You didn’t turn off your phone! Pam must think you’re so rude. Maybe you should throw your phone in the garbage.

Yeah, that seems like the best course of action.

You reach for the power button, but the screen lights up again, another message coming in. You blink. There are… a lot of missed messages. That seems important, somehow.

“Something wrong?” Pam asks, suddenly beside you.

You start, and the screen goes black. You stare at the dark shape for a handful of seconds, unseeing, before giving a shrug and tossing it into the waste bin.

“It’s not important,” you say, smiling up at the woman.

“Hm.” She peers into your eyes for a moment, and you smell something cloying, like roses and overripe fruit, before she turns away. You waver in place, the ground bucking beneath you.

It’s not importa—

You’re happy to hel—

You pitch forward, losing the battle with your own equilibrium.

Something warm catches you around your waste.

“Easy there,” a vaguely familiar voice says in your ear.

The room around you shifts again. You feel like you should tell someone that you’re feeling a little under the weather, but your tongue grew wings and flew away, and you’re not sure about the state of your vocal cords. There’s suddenly a lot more green in your field of vision, and that seems cheerful.

“I can’t say I’m glad to see you, little bird.”

Oh, but Pam doesn’t seem to be cheerful at all. Your fingers twitch in sympathy. You can’t seem to manage much more than that.

“”Little” from whose perspective, Doctor Irving?”

No one seems very happy, actually. Such a shame, because other than your general inability to do anything, you feel great.

“I’m surprised it took you so long, honestly,” Pam says. “I thought one of your kind would come flying in here half-cocked weeks ago.”

There’s some maneuvering, and you’re lifted so that Pam is no longer in your line of sight—you’d frown if you still had lips, but you think they hitched a ride with your tongue—and you are instead looking up at a man in a mask.

Or, more specifically, you’re looking up at a masked man’s jaw and mouth.

“’ey,” you slur.

Blue eyes blink down at you, momentarily distracted. “What did you do?”

You’re not sure what he means. You’ve only been helping; he doesn’t have to sound so harsh—

“Just a little plant coercion,” Pam says airily. “Nothing permanent, if you’re so concerned.”

Oh. No one’s angry at you. That’s good.

The lips continue to frown. The shape of them is familiar, and you feel like you’ve thought about them before. At length.

“Dick,” you say muzzily.

The look now aimed at you is one of alarm.

“Are you kidding me?” your sort-of boyfriend hisses through his teeth.

You wonder why he’s wearing the mask. You like his face. It’s a good face.

Some of that thought must find its way out of your mouth, because there's a shushing noise—rude—and suddenly you’re in motion.

“Don’t think you’re getting away with this, Ivy,” Dick throws over his shoulder.

There’s a feminine scoff behind him. “You think you can just come and go as you please, don’t you? Men.”

Your free ride gets a lot rougher when vines start snapping toward Dick’s feet. He dashes out of the lab, dodging encroaching flora, and you resolve to close your eyes and hope for the best. You’re sad that Pam’s upset, but Dick is here now, and you really like Dick.

“I r’ly li’e you,” you say, because it’s important that he knows.

“Your timing,” Dick pants, tucking you in closer, “leaves something to be desired.”

“Mm.” You’d say more—something about his mouth, maybe—but something is tugging you down, down, down into darkness, and you see no reason to resist.

Dick will keep you safe.

“—orked for Poison Ivy for months without suspecting her, and I show up and get pegged in minutes. Even after the drugs!”

You’re not sure what death feels like, but you think you might be experiencing it.

“Eugh,” you can’t help but groan when you go to scrape your eyelids open. Too bright.

There’s the sound of footsteps and a hand on your forehead.

“Hey, take it easy, you’ve been out for a while.”

“Dick?” you ask, eyes still firmly winched shut. Your mind’s all jumbled, and your sinuses feel like they’ve been hit with spring allergies.

There’s a pregnant pause.

“…Yeah. About that.”

You crack an eye open.

“Oh,” you say, mouth dry for a whole host of reasons. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Nightwing says with a wry grin. “We have a lot to talk about.”

The coffee shop is sunny today, and you have a disposition to match.

“Well someone looks chipper,” Dick says when you come strolling in, grin wide enough to split your face. “The interview went well, I assume?”

You bend and smack a kiss against his cheek, but when you go to take your seat, he snags an arm around you and reels you back in for a proper greeting.

“Mm,” you breathe against his mouth. “So good.”

“I know I am.” He winks and lets you go.

You roll your eyes. “I meant the interview, you doof. I swear, if your ego gets any bigger, we’ll have to roll it behind you in a wheelbarrow.”

His ankles stretch out to link around one of your own. His smile is entirely unapologetic.

“So, you got the job?”

“Dick, your dad runs the company. Of course I got the job.”

“Nah, he didn’t have to pull any strings for this. You did it all on your own.”

You have to look down to avoid the warm look in his eyes. You might be blushing.

“Wanna celebrate tonight? My treat.” He waggles his eyebrows invitingly, as if you need coercing to accept the offer.

“Sure you don’t have any other dates tonight? Any eldtritch creatures you wanna get real personal with?”

Dick groans. “You’re never going to let me live that down, are you?”

“I could be convinced to drop that particular instance. That I was so callously and impersonally seduced to out a super villain?” You give a haughty sniff and flip your hand in a so-so gesture. “Jury’s still out.”

Dick grabs your wavering hand and rubs his thumb over your knuckles. “I’m sorry it’s such an imposition for you.”

“Every day I suffer.”

He laughs, then. “Free up your schedule tonight,” he says, leaning in. “I’ll make it up to you.

The way his voice drops at the last has you shivering.

“I’ll… make some adjustments,” you say.

Gotham may be a hurricane, but you’re feeling weatherproof today.

[beastlondoninfo]

The Scent Movie 2020

Allow us to lower proper to the chase...or proper to the screaming as lots of the people on this record would like! Not solely am I married to a prime house haunter, I've been a giant fan of horror films (additionally known as monster films) for years. In my expertise, as a fan of the style, listed below are my prime ten monsters of all time! The Scent Movie 2020

10. Kraken (1981)

From the 1981 Conflict of the Titans, this can be a creature that stirs the creativeness. Though the Kraken is a creature of delusion, it's the movie model that everybody remembers. Who might overlook the top scene of the unique Conflict of the Titans the place the Kraken comes for Andromeda? (What he wished her for isn't clear to me. Did he plan to eat her? Invite her to go for a swim?) At any charge, the Kraken was delivered to life by the stop-motion animation of Ray Harryhausen, a legend in horror and fantasy films. The picture of Perseus turning the Kraken to stone is basic and so is that this multi-armed monster on this author's opinion.

9. Creature From the Black Lagoon (all variations)

There have been many films about terrifying sea creatures, however Creature From the Black Lagoon continues to be the very best. (Sorry, Jaws!) Launched in 1954, it incorporates a monster-like gill-man found on an expedition within the Amazon. Like many well-known monsters of the silver display screen, the Creature spawned sequels. The unique Creature of the Black Lagoon film is being remade for a 2011 launch, in keeping with the IMDB Web page.

See Also

eight. Mummy (Boris Karloff)

Boris Karloff makes his first look on our record! The Mummy, directed by Karl Freund, is a 1932 horror movie from Common Studios. It starred Karloff as a revived historical Egyptian priest known as Imhotep. Whereas the film isn't a drop-dead scare fest, it's a basic that's within the collective reminiscence of our society. When individuals consider mummies, they invariably consider Karloff shuffling out of his sarcophagus in bandages. The Mummy was semi-remade in The Mummy's Hand (1940) but it surely was Karloff's model that started the Mummy films.

7. Michael Myers (all variations)

Michael Myers is the one who began the slasher style. He first confirmed up in 1978's Halloween as a younger boy who murders his older sister, after which returns house years later to kill once more. His fights with Jamie Lee Curtis within the first two Halloween films are excellent examples of how scary film chases ought to work. Though, I believe Michael's fights with Donald Pleasence (who performed Dr. Loomis) are the very best components of the Halloween movies. The one detrimental features to the Halloween films to me are the continuity points. As an example, Halloween III, though not a foul film, has nothing to do with the opposite installments. Additionally, Halloween H20: 20 Years Later virtually ignores established continuity from earlier films with no clarification.

6. Dracula (Bela Lugosi)

Bela Lugosi was a Hungarian actor, finest recognized for enjoying Rely Dracula within the Broadway play and basic Common Studios Dracula movies, too. The now basic Dracula that made Lugosi a star got here out in 1931. Though the film is a little bit gradual and never as thrilling as different Common classics, such because the Frankenstein movies, Lugosi made the movie work. Irrespective of what number of vampire films are made, too, that is essentially the most memorable. Ask anybody who's Dracula they usually instantly consider Bela's Dracula. His Dracula is an icon.

5. Freddy Krueger (Robert Englund)

Robert Englund is finest recognized for enjoying serial killer Freddy Krueger within the Nightmare on Elm Road movie sequence. Based on Wikipedia, he acquired a Saturn Award nomination for Greatest Supporting Actor for A Nightmare on Elm Road three: Dream Warriors in 1987 and A Nightmare on Elm Road four: The Dream Grasp in 1988. I'm not shocked. He was glorious as Freddy. The brand new Freddy can not maintain a candle, or dingy pink sweater, to Englund. He approached taking part in Freddy with a mix of horror and comedy. His witty banter along with his victims is the stuff of legend.

four. Wolfman (Lon Chaney Jr.)

"Even a person who's pure in coronary heart and says his prayers by evening, could turn out to be a wolf when the wolfbane blooms and the autumn moon is vivid."

If you speak about werewolves, there may be none higher than Lon Chaney's Wolfman within the 1941 Common Studios film. From the long-lasting make-up to the gypsy curse, it's Chaney's Wolfman that society is aware of finest, and with good cause - it's a darn good film that stands the take a look at of time.

three. Frankenstein's Monster (Boris Karloff)

Do I actually have to write down that Boris Karloff's portrayal of the Frankenstein Monster is a basic creature of the cinema? The crash of thunder, the scorching laboratory machines, the monster's hand moving-these are the pictures all of us have embedded in our minds. No model of the Frankenstein Monster will get higher than Karloff's model from the basic 1931 horror movie.

2. Leatherface (all variations)

Leatherface is the principle killer in The Texas Chainsaw Bloodbath horror-film sequence. He wears masks product of his victims' pores and skin (which is the place the identify Leatherface comes from) and is the character from the film who usually carries a chainsaw. Not solely is Leatherface one of many first slasher-type villains however he's drop-dead scary! Whereas I believe all variations of Leatherface are scary as heck, the very best Leatherface actors have been Gunnar Hansen (from the primary Texas Chainsaw Bloodbath) and Invoice Johnson (The Texas Chainsaw Bloodbath 2). I nonetheless assume the scene in Bloodbath 2 when Leatherface runs, chainsaw roaring, out of the darkened radio station towards the lead feminine actor is horrifying.

Related Links:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scent

https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/web-series/reviews/bengali/tasher-ghawr/ottmoviereview/77925626.cms

1. Jason Voorhees (all variations)

Certain, Kane Hodder has performed Jason greater than every other actor, however I am unable to choose one Jason that's higher than one other. Every actor who performed the undead slasher Jason Voorhees introduced one thing new to the position. Jason Voorhees is the killer from the Friday the 13th sequence. He first appeared in Friday the 13th (1980); though, he was not the principle villain within the first film. Jason is a superb character due to the long-lasting hockey masks, the creepy camp setting, and since you really feel some sympathy for him. He was a deformed youngster who was mocked by friends and ignored by camp counselors. He additionally loves his mommy. (Watch the films and you will notice what I imply.) As a result of he evokes sympathy within the viewers, he's a little bit like Frankenstein's Monster however undoubtedly extra evil.

Agree with my selections? Disagree with me? Put up a remark. And bear in mind to look at over your shoulder when strolling within the woods at evening. The blokes above could also be stalking.

It might be no nice coincidence that the scariest film of all time was launched within the 1970s, a decade infamous for cult killings, hallucinatory medicine, civil unrest, stunning imagery, and a public consciousness that was nonetheless very entrenched within the wrath of God versus the duplicity of the Satan. "The Exorcist", directed as a play of insanity and hellfire by William Friedkin (and primarily based on a e-book that was supposedly primarily based on a "true story") is a superb movie that set the usual for horror--so excessive in reality, that it spawned 1,000,000 sequels, imitators and montage methods that we so simply take as a right within the CGI age. To see The Exorcist immediately continues to be a visceral delight, although it is unlikely viewing it can result in any miscarriages or seizures, prefer it did throughout its debut, little question benefiting from a little bit of group hysteria. It's a movie that has aged barely, however that also packs an emotional wallop, even with a whole technology of desensitized nihilists who grew up taking part in GTA.

Horror and Gore

The Exorcist goes for scares over gore, although there are a number of bloody homicide scenes right here and there. Friedkin rightly understood that the inexplicable and the surreal are really the scariest components of a nightmare, which is why he went all out to rework an innocuous little lady into an obscenity-spewing, spider-crawling demon crammed with nothing however contempt for mankind. Friedkin's inventive use of low-cost visible results is spectacular, and more practical than 100 computer-animated corpses. Pazuzu is really one among cinema's best villains, and maybe due to the spirit's random, indiscriminate nature. Nobody was protected from an offended spirit, and the truth that Friedkin allowed it to own a tragic little youngster (surpassing Hitchcock's in-the-shower vulnerability) was really the top of our fourth wall consolation zone.

Find out how to Watch It

The subliminal messages within the movie add to the creepiness issue. For the very best outcomes, watch it sober, at the hours of darkness, and watch it earlier than all of the tens of millions of imitators. Do not be shocked in case your honey calls for you to place the DVD outdoors the home earlier than returning to mattress!

Did You Know?

It's rumored that Ellen Burstyn solely agreed to play the position of Chris MacNeil, if she did not must say the scripted line "I imagine within the satan". After all she received her means.

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[billiardgods]

New Post has been published on https://bit.ly/3dkr5Zr

(H&S) Hustles & Sharks - Personal Tragedy

(About the Author)

Few people are able to compete with deadly intentions against an opponent who has just informed you about a personal tragedy. It’s just kind of hard to get into the competitive mood. If you are normally a kind and gentle person, beating up on a suffering human being just is insensitive to the max. In the wide world outside of the pool hall, this is a completely acceptable, even praiseworthy, reaction.

The pool hustler informs you that some tragic event has recently occurred. It is some terrible situation, but something that does not require him to be elsewhere. He made this commitment to play you – and he feels obligated to follow through. And, here he is, being true to his promise. He puts on a brave, even courageous front, bearing up under the weight of his sorrow.

How can you put the whole of your fighting spirit into beating up on someone who is so obviously already beaten down? Such compassion for a fellow pool player take a lot of your internal competitive fortitude away. It changes your viewpoint of the game and how seriously you can play.

One assumption you adopt is that, because of his problems, he is unable to apply proper focus and attention on the match. You intentionally slack off on your will to win. You no longer have the fierce joyful expectation of a hard fought battle of wills and skills.

Here is one way the pool hustler can set up the situation. He (hesitantly of course) explains what has happened and the problems this causes in his personal life. Then, he explains that he must complete his commitment to play you. This is where he gives the impression of stolidly soldiering on - a noble spirit, unbowed and unbeaten, head up till the end. He needs only the occasional grimace of internal pain to cross his features (as if momentarily recalling his problem).

Another approach is the "life is beating me up and I'm hurting bad". This requires a constant look of sadness and a mental push to begin his turn at the table, which is also played slowly. He approaches every shot with a morose and glum appearance. Talking is limited to monosyllables.

Here is an example of the two used together. As he shakes your hand, he says in a right tone of voice (but sad look), "Congratulate me. I am now part of the idle class." On a request for clarification, he describes how he just got laid off. He accepts your sympathetic hopeful wishes for a better tomorrow with a wane, "I'm doing my best" smile.

After a few minutes, he drops into the victim phase. He lightly touches on the effects of unemployment - the financial problems, the wife cutting back on expenses, and the depression he is feeling. A few well-heaved sighs help further this facade.

Attempts to raise his spirits are poorly rewarded and barely acknowledged. He wants you to feel guilty about your non-problematical lifestyle. The more convincing he can make this appeal for your compassionate concern, the easier it is for you to slack off and let him win a few games – and the whole match. This kind generosity on your part rewards you with a sober thank you and a sad smile of appreciation for your concern. He has to remember to not appear joyful over the easy win you just placed in his hands.

Response

Most competitive games of pool are not so necessary that they be played when one of the shooters is experiencing personal hardships. Therefore, be suspicious when an opponent presents most types of serious life problems. Think about it. Why would anyone with such difficulties want to get involved in a competitive contest? It would be better for him to stay home and apply an alcoholic sedative.

Rather than back off on your intention to win, consider doing him a favor and win the match as rapidly as possible. If he makes any kind of protest to this seemly callous consideration, tell him straight out, “The sooner I win the match, the quicker you can go home.”

With this hustle failing, it’s going to be pretty difficult for him to suddenly become very competitive. You should have a decent lead to the win before he shakes off his hustle and tries to get back to a competitive mindset. Spread the word among your pool playing friends so that this guy won’t be able to use this trick.

[thembekagumede]

Sustainable developmental goals I have used during fieldwork

We are holding each other’s hands forming the chain circle as Transdisciplinary team members to achieve sustainable development goals. One step towards the progression is admired and appreciated. One SDG is dependent on the other more especially those involving physiological needs identified in the hierarchy according to Maslow.  When the SDG was designed they arrange the deadline to be achieved at 2030.

Goal number four Quality education during these past four weeks I have been placed in two different demographic communities dominated by differential racial populations. Unfortunately, both this community have a high rate of employment which deliberately lead to massive number of household to be categorised as living under the poverty line.

Poverty (amongst other adverse social conditions) deprives people of the resources needed to engage in a range of occupations commensurate with their needs, aspirations, and potential( Duncane,2009). AS students we have put much effort towards the women empowerment project where one woman is responsible for selling second hands cloths. The clothes we collect as a donation on varsity and she sells them, we slip the total income into 70%( employee) and 30%(student petty cash employers). “This is not much” one can assume, however, if you analyse the business dynamics and approach used. you can agree that no only one poorer person benefits from this project. Even the buyers, costumers are uplifted by being given golden opportunity to do clothing shopping at very low expenses. On the first day of payment to the employee who is on a new contract she almost shed tears as we gave her first wage. “Thank you so much, I will buy light and bread,” said the employee. Such projects can be channelled to other different communities as well to work toward attaining the 1st sustainable developmental goal.

  Quality education 4th SDG. During fieldwork, I have dedicated 30% of my services to the basics of the education department. we visited Early childhood development centers (creches), primary and high schools. With the focus on preventative program.  Education rights are contained in section 29 of the South African Constitution. In terms of section 29, everyone has the right to a basic education. To ensure that people are not occupational deprived we make it our priority to inform teachers of the normal developments required to be competent in education. We have conducted a red flag workshop with Creche teachers to create awareness on their observation skills to early identify learners with signs and symptoms of no coping with school work. We are advocating for early intervention to prevent secondary complications and find compensatory strategies to overcome the imaging difficulty to cope with academics. World icon Nelson Mandela has once mentioned that “education is the most powerful weapon which you use to change the world”.

 This is the emphasise to reinforce how much education is important to every human being. So as students we create awareness to all the education stakeholders (the community as a whole is a stakeholder in its education system). During the health promotion talk in High school, we were all about substance abuse awareness. The learns feel very provoked when this topic was alluded, ofcourse this proves that most of them are users already and defending their habit to be okay!! Most Substance abuse cases lead to school dropouts this results in the occupational imbalance of these youngsters. Trough value clarification and education sessions we can achieve a sober lifestyle. However, some communities are just so impossible to attain 100% sobriety. Due to the fact that there is a high rate of substance use in these communities. Through being committed to education and occupied with extramural activities one can have less time spent on substance abuse.

Clean water and sanitation as the group of students, we are planning the world water day 22 March. This is to mobilise the community with the whole world to understand the vital significance of saving water as a huge initiative in saving our climates. Climate is the huge issue in South Africa 

 Ensure healthy lives and promote well-being for all ages 3rd SDG. We are dedicated during our health promotion talk to address the most epidemic diseases and create awareness for the whole community to be more cautious and priorities their health. According to WHO definition health promotion is the process of enabling people to increase control over, and to improve, their health. To reach a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, an individual or group. Our primary intervention during health talks we focus on promotive, preventive and early intervention. During one on one sessions, we evaluate occupational capabilities, values, and performance. We refer clients for further medical assessment if we see that there is signs and symptoms of the specific diagnosis. The type of health promotion talks we discussed we first analyse the population that we will conduct our talk. As I was conducting these health talks I have grown a lot on self-confidence with public speaking. I believe this developing skill will be useful for the rest of my career.  

Last but not list SDG that I would like to address is the SDG 5th Gender equality. Data collected in 2018 has declared that despite progress in implementing gender-responsive budgeting globally, gaps remain wide inbetween two genders. The women of this community I am currently placed,  they are undergoing a lot of disempowering situations. Some are from the religious belief of patriarch, women engage in occupations out of their will to remain obedient. unreported domestic violence that repeats itself for a prolonged period of time without being punished. I feel very intimidated and offended when I hear about such actions because I understand how it feels like to be raised by a dysfunctional family. It does not only affect the women the dark spirit engulfs the whole household. When dealing with such cases you need to be contained and empathies with those women.  Guide them in taking matters to the cops rather than forcing them to press charges.  

 As health science students our primary goal at the community-based fieldwork is to roar the health ship onto the right direction of attaining the target score nationality declared. I would not liar sometimes doing little when you know more could have bought enough change and alleviated the York in the people living under low socioeconomic status. It is really devastating. The race does not stop let us continue fighting for the better world for all.  

References

Brownson, C. A. (2008). Occupational therapy services in the promotion of health and the prevention of disease and disability. The American journal of occupational therapy, 62(6), 694.

Galanter, M., & Saitz, R. (2008). Alcohol/drug screening and brief intervention: Advances in evidence-based practice (Vol. 28, No. 3-4). Informa Health Care.

Miranda, J. J., & Patel, V. (2005). Achieving the Millennium Development Goals: does mental health play a role?. PLoS medicine, 2(10).

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 02.08.17 lb

fiesty wife isn’t scared of billu and his tactics anymore. 🙄🙄🙄

ohhhhhhhhhhh boy. shivaay was so inspired by rudy’s little handcuffs waala mishap that he got these installed at his headboard too. 😳😳😳

god, please don’t ever get them removed. this could make for some verrrrrrrrrrrry kinky sex. 😏😏😏

literally me right now: 

did he drop the key on purpose???? either way, this man has fucking lost his marbles. 😟😟😟

oh boyyyyyyyyy. angry, grabby!kara. 😬😬😬

ok good. glad you cleared that up, om. now she can leave in peace. 😑😑😑

the editing and transition in scenes is hella abrupt and giving me whiplash bruh. 😖😖😖

honestly rudra, what will it take for you to leave the girl alone???? 😒😒😒

lol om’s like “good, i was just pretending to care about your problems anyway. like i always do.” 

whut, om doesn’t like sugar? great. there goes my dream of a being happily married to him. i can’t marry a fucking freak who doesn’t like sugar. 😟😟😟

rudra: log shaadi kyun karte hai? om: yeh toh tujhe pata hona chahiye. tune toh do do kiye hai. ek nashe mein ASLI, aur ab ek majboori mein nakli. 

OMFG THEY REFERENCED THE SUMO WAALA SHAADI. 😧😧😧😧😧😧 AND CALLED IT THE ASLI ONE. DUDE LIKE DON’T EVEN FUCK WITH MY FEELINGS LIKE THIS....

WHAT IS THIS, A BIG FUCKING JOKE TO YOU FUCKING WRITERS?!?!?! 😡😡😡

bs misogyny waala bonding. fuck you idiots. 😑😑😑

this fucking idiot and his fucking aloo puri plan. honestly. 🙄🙄🙄

IF YOU KNOW THAT THEY KNOW, THEN WHY DON’T YOU JUST BEAT IT OUTTA YOUR FUCKING BROTHERS, INSTEAD OF HANDCUFFING YOUR WIFE. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?????? 😧😧😧

snort. good that shivaay knows that when it comes to picking between the two, devar squad always picks bhaabi. apni aukaat yaad rakh, billu. 😆😆😆

OH HO RUDRA. IS LADKE KE PET MEIN KUCH BHI NAHI REHTA. 😣😣😣

billu’s sooooooooo matter of fact now that he knows how things stand. this is his businessman of the year side. 😐😐😐

oh yes, my girl is free! FLY ANIKA, FLYYYYYYYYY. 🕊🕊🕊

.... so do they just keeeep weed around the house in case they need to interrogate stubborn wives or........ 🤔🤔🤔

who am i kidding, he obviously took some from omki’s stash. you CANNOT convince me that om doesn’t 420 blaze it.  🚬 🚬 🚬 

YES, MY GIRL KNOWS. YES. THANK GOD. THIS WAS GETTING VERY DATE-RAPEY. 😕😕😕

lmao she’s gonna fuckkkkkkkkk. himm. upppppppp. 😈😈😈

WHY AREN’T HIS FUCKING BROTHERS STOPPING HIMMMM FROM BEING SUCH A CREEEEEEEEEEP? 😫😫😫

"i also don’t want to hurt you, anika.”

yeah i’d believe that, if you weren’t SUCH A FUCKING PSYCHOPATH WHO HANDCUFFED HER AND IS TRYING TO DRUG HER WITHOUT HER KNOWLEDGE. 😒😒😒

pretending aside, i’d have given him extra hell for losing the fucking key. like seriously. fuck him. 😤😤😤

NO DON’T PLAY ROMANTIC MUSIC FOR THIS. 😡😡😡

side eyeing him majorly for blaming her “zidd” for “making him do this”. fucking creep. 😠😠😠

ok feeling the feelz for him fussing over her bruises. ugh i hate himmmmmmm for making me love him. FUCK MY STUPID HEART FOR OVERRIDING MY SMART BRAIN. 😫😫😫

aaaaaaaaand, i have officially started crying. the flashbacks did me in. god, what an awful day that was. 😪😪😪

“kyun hua yeh sab?” 😥😥😥

oh god my heart. my poor broken heart. the way he asked that. 😭😭😭

“TUMHE mujhpe bharosa nahi tha. kuch baat thi, toh baat karni thi mujhse. koshish toh karti.”

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh. 😢😢😢

don’t think i didn’t notice anika being distracted and just staring at his mouth, not paying attn to a single angsty thing he was saying. 😏😏😏

sudden switch to comedy. oufffffff. 😣😣😣

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO HER FACE AS SHE FUCKS HIM OVER. I LOVE HER SOOOOOO MUCH. 😂😂😂

oh idiot billu. stupidly smug fucking idiot. 😗😗😗

..... aaaaaaaaaaaaaand....

yup. high as a fucking kite. fucking idiot. 🙄🙄🙄

looks like a good couple bonding experience though. 😆😆😆

lmao, this is surbhi laughing for real at nakuul being a dork. so fucking cute. 😂😂😂

oh god. naach gaana. fwding. 

.... is this real or the hallucinations of billu’s drugged out mind? 🤔🤔🤔

ok real. i think. god, don’t make me go back and watch the fucking song and dance. 😒😒😒

i’m just assuming it’s real for now. 

aw man. my heart. they missed each other sooooooo much. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

siiiiiiiiigh, look at his open and earnest expression when he’s asking her. 

“sab kuch sahi tha. hum kitne khush the... main tumse shaadi karne waala tha... uske baad hum live happily ever after hone waale the. tumhaari hindi picturon mein dikhate hai na?” 

oh my heart. i caaaaaaaaan’t. 😭😭😭😭😭

i hate that nakuul makes his “drunk/high” voice so high pitched. like... his shivaay voice is deeper than his actual voice, and this is just tooooo high pitched. he’s currently squealing “kyunnnnnn” at a frequency only bats can hear. 😣😣😣

ohhhhhhhhhh boy. part 1 of the truth is out. 😬😬😬

PLEASE TELL ME SHIVAAY HAS CAMERAS IN THIS ROOM OR SOME SHIT AND IS RECORDING THIS COZ 1000% HIS HIGH ASS ISN’T GOING TO REMEMBER THIS. 😣😣😣

oh ho, KASAM waala nonsense. since when does SHIVAAY believe in KASAMs? 🤔🤔🤔

billllu, tum NAHIIII sambhaaal paoge. ouff. just... man why can’t you just be like a normal stoner and get the munchies. no, you have to be the PARANOID type of stoner. 😒😒😒

i regret this. i regret this so much. take me back to 3 seconds ago, when i didn’t know the sach. 😐😐😐

OK STOP WITH THE EKTA TYPE EDITING. MY HEAD. 😖😖😖

yup. she broke him. like those cats when you put something on their foreheads and they just... 

oh noooooooooo. ho gaya shuru nakuul ki ghatiya acting. i fully knew he’d be doing this in this scene and ruining it for me. goddddddd, why??? and how can he be good at CRYING (the toughest part of acting) and so bad at the voice modulation and dialogue. ouffffffff. 😑😑😑

“aapki khushi ke liye main aapki kya, puri duniya ki nafrat seh sakti hoon.” “MERI KHUSHI TUMHARE SAATH HAI, ANIKA! MERI KHUSHI TUMHARE SAATH HAI! TUM JAANTI HO NA YEH???” 

😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

... why is she telling him all this now though? in confidence that he’ll forget coz he’s high? but he’s the kind who remembers. he remembered after the #shiTia party. he didn’t really forget anything after the berries in the jungle either. soooooo...... 😕😕😕

oh boy. he’s fixating on the khoon now. 😶😶😶

bruh, why can’t you think of a positive? YOU GET ONE MORE OF YOUR FAVOURITE THING IN THE WHOLE WORLD: A BROTHER!!!!!! 😊😊😊

“sab ko pata tha. sivaiii mere. sab ko pata tha.” 

yuuuuuuuuup. 😐😐😐

oh wow, he’s now remembering the daimaa convo and things are clicking. see anika? still remembers things when high. your reveal strategy is so... weird and random. 😕😕😕

... aaaand his guilt has kicked in. this is a LOT of feelings for a man to handle SOBER, let alone high. 😬😬😬

aw. he’s apologizing. siiiigh. this is the one time that SHE should be the one apologizing though. he wasn’t reaaaallly at fault. other than of being a hot headed asshole. but she knew that about him and used it and instigated him to the max. 😒😒😒

... he fell asleep, didn’t he? 😒😒😒

..... yup. that some dank weed, bro. 

how did she carry him from the pool to the bed? please show us that!!!!!!!!!!! 😧😧😧 

is anika wonder woman in disguise? 🤔🤔🤔

at least cuddle with himmmm, girl. come onnnnnn. 😙😙😙

meanwhile idhar bulbul is in a crisis of her own. 😔😔😔

is bhavya even fucking listening???? all signs point to no. 😒😒😒

... you never really talked about anything though? i mean, not to defend him, but how would his misunderstandings magically disappearing without any clarification? 😕😕😕

i’m not really digging this bhavya’s new style of denim jackets over kurtas. i like the concept, but the jackets chosen are all so wrong and ill-fitting! 😫😫😫

... ALL THE WOMEN IN THIS SHOW DESERVE BETTER THAN THE STUPIDASS MEN THEY’RE SADDLED WITH. ALL. OF. THEM. 😠😠😠

except tia. she got a good one. tia + dobin 4eva! 💘💘💘

lmao wait whut... has jhanvi locked herself inside a cupboard???? 😐😐😐

lololol svetlana’s exasperation on having to put up with jhanvi’s crazy. 😂😂😂 imagine. svetlana is like 98% cray cray herself. even she can’t take this. 

has jhanvi just... moved to svetlana’s???? 

really om????? after what you said, you expect her to still be around here? you’re such a daft prick, is2g. 🙄🙄🙄

really? they can’t eat without their girls??????? 🤔🤔🤔

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAS. THE GIRLS RAN AWAY (TOGETHER???) YAS YAS YAS. THIS IS THE BEST THING EVERRRRRRRR. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

lmaooooooo svetlana and jhanvi are getting massages together. MAN I LOVE SVETLANA SHE SEEMS LIKE THE COOLEST FUCKING GIRLFRIEND TO HAVE. 😍😍😍

um... WAIT WHAT? 😧😧😧

oh pfffffffffffffft. 😑😑😑

today’s surety that this is a tejLana plan to drive J mad: 92% 

BUT LOOK AT MY MURDER GIRLFRIENDS! 😍😍😍

time for bs alpha male posturing and pretending that all iz well. 🙄🙄🙄

YUP. THEY LEFT YOUR UNWORTHY ASSES. ABOUT FUCKING TIME. 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽

great. he doesn’t remember. wants to do the whole drama again. ouff billllllllllllu. tangggggg aa gayi hoon main tumse. daffffaaaa ho. 😣😣😣

[jos-corner-of-the-world]

It All Started with Karaoke (3)

Part 1  Part 2 

I woke up the next morning feeling that I had a family of sheep living in my mouth.  It was dry, and gross, and just..blah.

I looked up at the clock and let out a small chuckle.  I had actually managed to sleep until noon, like I said I would.  Instead of doing brunch, I was going all out lunch and hitting up the Meatball Shop.  According to some research, this was a can’t miss restaurant in NYC.

After showering, I threw my blonde hair up into a messy bun.  I then threw on black leggings, a chevron style tank top, and my red Chucks.

I grabbed room key, cell phone, and wallet, and threw them into my over the shoulder purse before I walked out of the door.

I was walking through the lobby when I felt someone brush against my back.

“Well well well, fancy meeting you here.” I heard from behind me.

I stopped in my tracks, turning quickly.

“Seriously? There’s literally over eight million people in this city.  What are the chances of seeing you again today, or ever really?” I asked, surprise seeping into my tone.

“Had I not have met you last night, I would assume you’re being snarky, but I don’t think you are.” Jimin said.

“Hey, at least I remembered my pants today.” I said, without thinking twice about it.

I heard laughter coming from beside Jimin.  That’s when I, startlingly, realized that he wasn’t alone.

“Okay, that’s not what I meant, just for clarification.” I said, staring at the handsome brunette.

“That didn’t really clarify anything at all.” Jungkook said, laughing more.

Jimin explained the story to Jungkook, and Jungkook just simply laughed some more.

“So how are your plans progressing so far today?” Jimin asked.

“Well, I did sleep until noon.  I’m not doing Brunch, instead I’m going to the Meatball Shop, and I’ve decided to not shop because I do fully intend on eating my weight in food.  I’ll need to take a walk after that, and then a nap.” I said.  Jungkook’s head had shot towards me when I mentioned the restaurant I was going to eat at.

“That sounds exciting.” Jimin said.

“What are you guys up to?” I asked.

“I’m heading to a meeting with one of our managers.” Jimin said.  “Kookie here is just tagging along.”

“Well that’s not fun.  Want to tag along with me? I’m going to-“ Before I could finish, Jungkook cut me off.

“Yes!” He said, running over to me.

“You’re a traitor.” Jimin said, shaking his head.

“I’ll have him home by 5, fed and happy.” I said, linking arms with Jungkook as we walked out.  Jungkook’s face turned bright red, but he didn’t let go of my arm.

“I’m Jolene by the way.” I said as an afterthought.

“Jungkook.” He said, squeezing my arm a little.  “And I think we just became best friends.”

“I’ve never had a best friend.  What if I’m bad?” I ask him.

“I can’t tell if you’re serious, but you don’t seem like the type to be a bad friend.  I’m going to trust you.” Jungkook said, smiling at me.

“Sadly enough, I am serious about the best friend thing.”

Jungkook gave me a sad smile, but changed the subject quickly.

“So tell me about yourself Jolene.”  Jungkook prompted me once we were in the cab.

“Well, there’s not much really.  I’ve recently turned 21, a recent graduate from UCLA, I’m an only child, with no cousins or anyone my age. I’m on an extended vacation right now.” I mean really, was there much else? “What about you, tell me about yourself.”

“Well, I’m 19. I’m from South Korea. I have an older brother and basically a brother in all the guys in the group.  I’m also on extended holiday right now.  Though, there is some work being done while we are here.” He said.

“That’s a bummer.  I came out here before I have to grow up.  I’m going to have to make some serious life decisions soon, and I don’t think I want to.” I said.

“Are you talking career wise? Like getting a job and stuff?” Jungkook asked.

“Yeah. I have some decisions I need to make, but I’m not prepared to make them. I’m not prepared to grow up. I think it’s because I never really had a childhood before.” I said.  Once I realized what I was saying, I mentally, and physically slapped myself on the head.  Jungkook being awesome as I hoped him to be, changed the subject, after a little laugh at my expense.

“So, what’d you get for your birthday?” He asked me.

“Seventy five million dollars.” I said.

Jungkook laughed at me.  When he realized I wasn’t laughing, he stopped, eyes getting huge.

“Come again?” He asked.

We had just pulled up to the Meatball Shop.  I exited the cab, Jungkook following right behind me.

Once we were sitting in a booth, I apologized.

“Sorry I threw that information on you.  I’ve realized that it’s easier to get that out of the way in the beginning instead of having it come out later.  I’m from LA and social status is everything to girls out there.  I like the looks on people’s faces when they find out I have a lot of money and I dress like a hobo and drive a hatch back.” I said, snorting into my water.

“Yeah, it was just a surprise, that’s all.  So where’d you get the money?” Jungkook asked.

“My grandfather left it to me when he passed away 5 years ago.  He was the CEO of L Brands for almost 50 years.” I said.

“I don’t know what that is.” he admitted.

“L Brands is the owner and operator behind places like Victoria’s Secret and Bath and Body Works.” I said.

“Nice.” Was his response.  Then, for the entire lunch, he didn’t ask a single question about money.

“So, karaoke bars, huh?” Jungkook asked halfway through the meal.

“Oh yeah! In his will, Grandpa told me to get out and sight see, swim with the dolphins, drunk karaoke in NYC.  So, here I am.  I drunk karaoked last night.  That’s where I met Jimin” I said.

“Are you the Halsey girl?” he asked.

“I am! Jimin must have been sober and remembered.” I said.

“Yeah, he was.  He said you were really good.  He always said something about screaming being children and twitter being for assholes.”

“Okay, not my finest moment, but I just didn’t want him to think I was going to freak the fuck out over him or anything.  Honestly, if I’d freak out over anyone in the group, it’d be you.  And I’m pretty calm right now.” I admitted.

“Why me?” he asked, seeming shy again.

“Well, for a few reasons.  You have amazing eyes. I mean, wow.  Also, you seem to be a lot like me, completely in love with your music.  You seem to be a great friend, and the best part, you got some moves!”

“Jimin and Hobi are good dancers too” He said, taking my arm after we’d paid our bill.  Jungkook refused to let me pay for him, I refused to let him pay for me.  We ended up just buying our own food, and shutting up.

“Oh definitely.  Your styles are all different though.  Jimin is very fluid in his movements. J-Hope is very precise and technical.  And you, you are a mighty fine mix between to two.” I said.

Jungkook blushed deep red again.

“Thank you, by the way.  That was a lovely lunch.” I said, bumping my shoulder with his.

“So you said I’m like you in the sense that I love my music.  Does that mean you write music?” He asked.

I blushed, but nodded my head yes.

“Can I hear some?” He asked, hope evident in his voice.

I couldn’t really tell him no, I brought my guitar with me, and I wasn’t shy. I had no reason not to…

“Sure.”

[wristwatchjournal]

Watch Review: Laco Frankfurt GMT

One of German Laco’s latest GMT watches is this lovely Laco Frankfurt GMT that blends both modern and historic tool watch design elements. The Frankfurt GMT extends the brand’s long history of producing pilot-style watches into a contemporary product intended for both pilots and travelers who enjoy the functionality of a second time zone 24 hour GMT hand. Laco has upped the ante both in terms of design and little things like the packaging — which, in this case, supply the Frankfurt GMT with two straps and some accessories in a metal housing. While the Laco Frankfurt GMT isn’t about breaking new ground, technically, it does offer a very pleasant blend of style, value, and functionality that will no doubt have great appeal to a lot of timepiece enthusiasts.

The biggest quirk of the Frankfurt GMT watch isn’t related to the product itself but rather with the two versions Laco has made available. One is the Frankfurt GMT Shwarz (reference 862120) with a black dial, and the other is the Frankfurt GMT Grau (reference 862121) with the gray dial. OK, that seems straightforward enough ,but the amusing part is that it is nearly impossible to know which is which in person if you haven’t seen both of the watches. I believe that that I am reviewing is the Laco Frankfurt GMT Gray, but I am actually not sure. Laco sent us just one of the pieces and without being able to compare the black and gray dials side-to-side, I can’t definitively determine which one I am reviewing. Sure I could ask Laco directly (and no doubt they will clear it up after aBlogtoWatch publishes this review), but I am not asking them for clarification on purpose. Why? Because normal consumers would not necessarily have that type of access when trying to make a decision to purchase remotely online. In a world where more and more watch sales are happening remotely online, versus in-store where items can be inspected in advance, interesting issues like this can come up.

Whether the dial is black or gray according to Laco, the Frankfurt GMT is a gray-tone watch punctuated with two different orange colors on the dial. Otherwise, we have a somber blend of matte gray surfaces that give the Frankfurt GMT a very urban feel that seems to go well with pavement and skyscrapers. Laco pulls from its history-making pilot watches when it comes to the Frankfurt GMT’s dial and hands. The hands, especially — in blue-toned steel — are the most obvious nod to classic German flieger watches.

Modern elements include the gray sandblasted steel case and parts of the dial including the inner rotating 24-hour indicator. This particular feature allows the wearer to expand on the GMT functionality by offering a rotating scale that can allow the user to track the time in a third time zone. The inner rotating bezel is operated by one of the two screw-down crowns and works quite nicely. This isn’t the first watch to offer such functionality, but GMT watches with inner rotating 24-hour bezels are a bit uncommon.

Overall case construction is pretty good. Sometimes sand/bead-blasted watches can reveal manufacturing defects or can leave cases feeling a bit imprecise given how the technique can literally blast off edge details. Here we have a very finely constructed case with good detailing and edges for the price. The precision-cut aviator-style double crowns are a nice detail that helps give the case a high-end feel.

The steel case is water-resistant to 200 meters and is 43mm-wide by 12.5mm-thick. The lug-to-lug distance is 50mm and, overall, it wears quite comfortably. I do prefer to wear the Frankfurt GMT on the supplied NATO-style strap for comfort. The gray strap has a fashionable orange racing strip down the middle of it. On the rear of the watch is a decent vintage fighter plane motif and on the other side over the dial is a double domed and AR-coated sapphire crystal. Glare is present, but it isn’t too bad, and the Frankfurt GMT watch is very legible. A big reason for that is correctly sized hands and other dial proportions, as well as the use of matte surfaces that are contrasted only with the lightly polished blue-hand edges.

The lume view of the Laco Frankfurt GMT is exciting. The hands, hour markers, and inner rotating bezel are all painted and, in the dark, the dial really comes alive. Speaking of the dial and returning to the question of gray versus black (as Laco makes two options), I am actually curious why Laco released two models with similar dials at the same time. Is there a functional or marketing reason for this or did Laco prototype a gray dial and a black dial with both offering satisfactory visuals? Maybe Laco just decided the world needed the Frankfurt GMT both in gray and black dial forms.

Inside the watch is a movement Laco calls the Laco 93. It is the Swiss Made ETA 2893-2 automatic. This 4Hz, 42-hour power reserve movement is a relatively slim GMT workhorse uses in a lot of watches, many of which are at least double the price of the Laco Frankfurt GMT. Laco actually offers two versions of the movement in the Frankfurt GMT, revealed if you look closely enough at the website. The standard movement in the watch is the medium-grade Elabore version of the 2893-2. For $150 USD more you can opt for the “top-grade” version, which has some aesthetic and material upgrades, along with some slight performance advantages. It is hard to say which movement will work better in a real world environment, but the $150 price difference really isn’t too bad and is probably very close to what it actually costs Laco for the nicer movements. I’d recommend that people who are going to wear the Frankfurt GMT as a daily watch or quite often to consider the nicer movement. That said, since this watch doesn’t have a caseback (and you can’t visually see how the movements differ), for people who are going to wear this watch as part of a later rotation, I’m not sure getting the upgraded movement is necessary.

Watch lovers with a penchant for affordable, classic brands will no doubt take interest in the Laco Frankfurt GMT. It is specifically designed for people who want a traditional watch-wearing experience, but for contemporary tastes in a package that does not look like anything else on the market. Laco’s greatest achievement in a watch like this is the company’s ability to get multiple things right at the same time. The Frankfurt GMT feels familiar, even though it is new. It feels like something we know and yet it hasn’t existed before nor does it immediately look like anything else. It also skillfully blends the old and the new in a satisfying way.

None of this is easy to do, even if the resulting product doesn’t truly illustrate the design challenge inherent in a product such as this. It is this reason why it can be nice to purchase products from established brands that have the internal culture to even make watches like this possible. Niche and proud, the Laco Frankfurt GMT is a fun tool watch with a modern spirit and vintage soul. Price for the Laco Frankfurt GMT Grau (862121) or Shwarz (862120) is $1,990 USD. Learn more or order at the Laco website here.

Necessary Data >Brand: Laco >Model: Ref. 862121/862120 Frankfurt GMT >Price: $1,990 USD >Size: 43mm-wide, 12.5mm-thick, and 50mm lug-to-lug distance. >When reviewer would personally wear it: The sober gray tones make for a handsome and functional urban-dweller’s watch with an aviation personality. >Friend we’d recommend it to first: German GMT (UTC) lover who wants something familiar-looking, yet novel, with a fair price and decent quality to match. >Best characteristic of watch: Manages to be a novel design that looks as though it should have been around all the time. It feels like a tool watch first, which is what many timepiece enthusiasts are seeking. Nicely finished case and practical dial. Good luminant. >Worst characteristic of watch: Laco requires you to be in their head to understand what inspired the Frankfurt GMT watch or who they envision wear this model, as opposed to their many other pilot watch models. Thus, consumers could easily take the long route to appreciating this product.

The post Watch Review: Laco Frankfurt GMT appeared first on Wristwatch Journal.

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[alexdmorgan30]

Alone in Sobriety: How I Deal with Dark Thoughts, Cravings, and the Urge to Isolate

I’m supine on my couch, peering through my bay windows. The eucalyptus tree gently waves, the sun bouncing off the greyish green foliage. Oh my, never really noticed that before, the way the sun hits the trees… almost looks like diamonds are attached to the leaves. I sigh at the beauty of the agate blue lake against the backdrop of pink hills. In my celestial reverie, I think: Ah, this is the life. I need nothing but my view, my books, and of course my oxys and chardonnay. Life is, um, well, perfecto! I don’t need anybody! Life is dope! Ha, ha, pun intended! But as we all know, the nefarious love affair with our substances has to end—unless we’re recreational users. You know, the type that can indulge, but ends up moving on to smarter and better things—like careers, marriage, and kids.But the addicted end up with no such future; and our fate comes at a staggering cost: numerous rehabs, jails, hospitals, and sometimes the ultimate price, death. So, if we want any chance at a decent life, we end up doing a program like AA or NA, or we join secular self-help groups such as SMART, or depend on MAT (medication-assisted treatment such as a methadone or Suboxone program). Others get well through individual therapy or exercise or church. And of course (not to leave anyone out), there is that rarefied set that quit on their own—no help needed.Sobriety or Self-DestructionBut the point is: we get better or we blow up our lives.I chose rehab, a Suboxone program (six-month duration, thankfully done), and AA meetings to get well. And now, things . . .are better. In the beginning my sobriety was no fun at all: when I looked through those same bay windows at the same beautiful view, a huge dose of anhedonia would hit me. Who cares if it’s beautiful? I’d think, seamlessly segueing into darker thoughts like: What a loser you are, or aren’t you a little old to still be blowing up your life?But gradually (I can’t stress this enough), I recovered and those ugly thoughts subsided. I still have them, but nowhere near as bad. They told me in early sobriety to “stop isolating” and be around people. I found this exceedingly hard because while using, I’d convinced myself that I was an unrepentant misanthrope. Well, when I got sober I realized I didn’t really dislike anyone, I was more afraid of folks. So, again gradually (they call it “slobriety”), I’ve lost my fear of people and have learned to socialize more. Even though I’m a loner by nature, I know that humans are social animals. At the very least, I am going against biology when I'm alone all the time. Learning to Love 12-Step MeetingsMeetings can be one way to escape isolation without having to be super cheerful or interesting. In the beginning of my precarious sobriety, I went to meetings as simply a way of getting out of the house. However, a cherished bonus—and one I was not expecting—was the feeling of being loved. During my many failed sobriety attempts years ago I scoffed at the “let us love you until you can love yourself” platitude—only because where I came from, love was almost always conditional. Image was everything and being a woman of propriety was paramount (never mind what happens behind closed doors!). But finally I was so desperate to get well that I took love wherever it was freely given. And I was pleased to discover there is nothing wrong with getting unconditional love from random people—because eventually those random people became my friends.There are times when being alone is inescapable, and this is when my thoughts can get downright dark. But at least now I have tools to deal with them. I can do some cognitive therapy and challenge my thoughts: “Oh, come on! You are getting better!” Or: “Oh come on! You’re trying, give yourself a break.” If that doesn’t work, I get on my knees and pray.“God, please direct my thinking! Give me the strength to manage my life!” Even though I’m not sure I believe in God, I do it as a gesture of humility. And sometimes a calmness, a sense of focus, a clarification of the next “indicated step” presents itself, and I say a prayer of gratitude to the Universe for getting me out of my head and into action. If the silence gets too deafening, I’ll call someone. To “get out of self,” I generally reach out to someone who may be having a harder go at it than me. Or sometimes I just do something goofy like turn on some old school rap like Too Short’s Shake that Monkey and just jam out like an oblivious white girl. My twerking leaves a lot to be desired, my butt is just too flat. But it’s remarkably good exercise.Fear, Rumination, and AcceptanceSometimes, I’ll force myself to sit with these dark thoughts: acknowledge my insecurities, my chaotic and destructive past, my fear of never measuring up. This last trajectory can be dangerous because it can immediately put me in an even darker mood that lasts for days where I end up ruminating in obsessive, sad, or angry loops that keep playing like a film projector that won’t shut off. But I do believe that recognizing these dark corners of my psyche and accepting them, then coming up with a plan to negate any further damage by changing my actions to more positive and kinder ones is probably the best way to go. Because sometimes keeping busy in order to avoid thinking is like the old expression: brushing it under the rug. The dirt piles up in my mind, making me toxic.When I’m alone and the cravings for drink and pills get fucking intense, I’ll walk around the block like a demented person, or even worse: I’ll go to the smoke shop and buy one cigarette at a time. When I have no social engagements and there are no meetings, self-pity can overwhelm me, my thoughts of loneliness so deep I’ll find myself obsessively checking my phone to see if anyone has texted. This is probably the hardest “alone” time there is, when you realize you’re alone because you have no one to be with. And I want to scream: “I know I fucked up! I know I acted the fool high! But I’m sober now and a totally different person!” Usually there is no answer from the heavens and I have to sigh myself into a grudging acceptance. Remembering "This Too Shall Pass"Sometimes the only consolation for being sober is my stubborn refusal to get high no matter how lonely and sad I feel, and the knowledge that this too shall pass. And it always does. That day will surely come again where I’ll be outside, gazing at a gorgeous old Victorian home in the historic part of San Diego, or walking in the woods, or snuggled up with my hubby watching some improbably good show on Netflix, and I’ll say to myself: “I am, right now, presently, 100% good with the Universe.” A warm contentment will engulf me—much subtler than the synthetic euphoria of oxy. But it doesn’t matter because here’s the thing: I earned it, and that alone makes it a far more powerful and beautiful experience than drugs ever gave me. How do you handle the dark times in sobriety? Let us know in the comments.

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[pitz182]

Alone in Sobriety: How I Deal with Dark Thoughts, Cravings, and the Urge to Isolate

I’m supine on my couch, peering through my bay windows. The eucalyptus tree gently waves, the sun bouncing off the greyish green foliage. Oh my, never really noticed that before, the way the sun hits the trees… almost looks like diamonds are attached to the leaves. I sigh at the beauty of the agate blue lake against the backdrop of pink hills. In my celestial reverie, I think: Ah, this is the life. I need nothing but my view, my books, and of course my oxys and chardonnay. Life is, um, well, perfecto! I don’t need anybody! Life is dope! Ha, ha, pun intended! But as we all know, the nefarious love affair with our substances has to end—unless we’re recreational users. You know, the type that can indulge, but ends up moving on to smarter and better things—like careers, marriage, and kids.But the addicted end up with no such future; and our fate comes at a staggering cost: numerous rehabs, jails, hospitals, and sometimes the ultimate price, death. So, if we want any chance at a decent life, we end up doing a program like AA or NA, or we join secular self-help groups such as SMART, or depend on MAT (medication-assisted treatment such as a methadone or Suboxone program). Others get well through individual therapy or exercise or church. And of course (not to leave anyone out), there is that rarefied set that quit on their own—no help needed.Sobriety or Self-DestructionBut the point is: we get better or we blow up our lives.I chose rehab, a Suboxone program (six-month duration, thankfully done), and AA meetings to get well. And now, things . . .are better. In the beginning my sobriety was no fun at all: when I looked through those same bay windows at the same beautiful view, a huge dose of anhedonia would hit me. Who cares if it’s beautiful? I’d think, seamlessly segueing into darker thoughts like: What a loser you are, or aren’t you a little old to still be blowing up your life?But gradually (I can’t stress this enough), I recovered and those ugly thoughts subsided. I still have them, but nowhere near as bad. They told me in early sobriety to “stop isolating” and be around people. I found this exceedingly hard because while using, I’d convinced myself that I was an unrepentant misanthrope. Well, when I got sober I realized I didn’t really dislike anyone, I was more afraid of folks. So, again gradually (they call it “slobriety”), I’ve lost my fear of people and have learned to socialize more. Even though I’m a loner by nature, I know that humans are social animals. At the very least, I am going against biology when I'm alone all the time. Learning to Love 12-Step MeetingsMeetings can be one way to escape isolation without having to be super cheerful or interesting. In the beginning of my precarious sobriety, I went to meetings as simply a way of getting out of the house. However, a cherished bonus—and one I was not expecting—was the feeling of being loved. During my many failed sobriety attempts years ago I scoffed at the “let us love you until you can love yourself” platitude—only because where I came from, love was almost always conditional. Image was everything and being a woman of propriety was paramount (never mind what happens behind closed doors!). But finally I was so desperate to get well that I took love wherever it was freely given. And I was pleased to discover there is nothing wrong with getting unconditional love from random people—because eventually those random people became my friends.There are times when being alone is inescapable, and this is when my thoughts can get downright dark. But at least now I have tools to deal with them. I can do some cognitive therapy and challenge my thoughts: “Oh, come on! You are getting better!” Or: “Oh come on! You’re trying, give yourself a break.” If that doesn’t work, I get on my knees and pray.“God, please direct my thinking! Give me the strength to manage my life!” Even though I’m not sure I believe in God, I do it as a gesture of humility. And sometimes a calmness, a sense of focus, a clarification of the next “indicated step” presents itself, and I say a prayer of gratitude to the Universe for getting me out of my head and into action. If the silence gets too deafening, I’ll call someone. To “get out of self,” I generally reach out to someone who may be having a harder go at it than me. Or sometimes I just do something goofy like turn on some old school rap like Too Short’s Shake that Monkey and just jam out like an oblivious white girl. My twerking leaves a lot to be desired, my butt is just too flat. But it’s remarkably good exercise.Fear, Rumination, and AcceptanceSometimes, I’ll force myself to sit with these dark thoughts: acknowledge my insecurities, my chaotic and destructive past, my fear of never measuring up. This last trajectory can be dangerous because it can immediately put me in an even darker mood that lasts for days where I end up ruminating in obsessive, sad, or angry loops that keep playing like a film projector that won’t shut off. But I do believe that recognizing these dark corners of my psyche and accepting them, then coming up with a plan to negate any further damage by changing my actions to more positive and kinder ones is probably the best way to go. Because sometimes keeping busy in order to avoid thinking is like the old expression: brushing it under the rug. The dirt piles up in my mind, making me toxic.When I’m alone and the cravings for drink and pills get fucking intense, I’ll walk around the block like a demented person, or even worse: I’ll go to the smoke shop and buy one cigarette at a time. When I have no social engagements and there are no meetings, self-pity can overwhelm me, my thoughts of loneliness so deep I’ll find myself obsessively checking my phone to see if anyone has texted. This is probably the hardest “alone” time there is, when you realize you’re alone because you have no one to be with. And I want to scream: “I know I fucked up! I know I acted the fool high! But I’m sober now and a totally different person!” Usually there is no answer from the heavens and I have to sigh myself into a grudging acceptance. Remembering "This Too Shall Pass"Sometimes the only consolation for being sober is my stubborn refusal to get high no matter how lonely and sad I feel, and the knowledge that this too shall pass. And it always does. That day will surely come again where I’ll be outside, gazing at a gorgeous old Victorian home in the historic part of San Diego, or walking in the woods, or snuggled up with my hubby watching some improbably good show on Netflix, and I’ll say to myself: “I am, right now, presently, 100% good with the Universe.” A warm contentment will engulf me—much subtler than the synthetic euphoria of oxy. But it doesn’t matter because here’s the thing: I earned it, and that alone makes it a far more powerful and beautiful experience than drugs ever gave me. How do you handle the dark times in sobriety? Let us know in the comments.

[emlydunstan]

Alone in Sobriety: How I Deal with Dark Thoughts, Cravings, and the Urge to Isolate

I’m supine on my couch, peering through my bay windows. The eucalyptus tree gently waves, the sun bouncing off the greyish green foliage. Oh my, never really noticed that before, the way the sun hits the trees… almost looks like diamonds are attached to the leaves. I sigh at the beauty of the agate blue lake against the backdrop of pink hills. In my celestial reverie, I think: Ah, this is the life. I need nothing but my view, my books, and of course my oxys and chardonnay. Life is, um, well, perfecto! I don’t need anybody! Life is dope! Ha, ha, pun intended! But as we all know, the nefarious love affair with our substances has to end—unless we’re recreational users. You know, the type that can indulge, but ends up moving on to smarter and better things—like careers, marriage, and kids.But the addicted end up with no such future; and our fate comes at a staggering cost: numerous rehabs, jails, hospitals, and sometimes the ultimate price, death. So, if we want any chance at a decent life, we end up doing a program like AA or NA, or we join secular self-help groups such as SMART, or depend on MAT (medication-assisted treatment such as a methadone or Suboxone program). Others get well through individual therapy or exercise or church. And of course (not to leave anyone out), there is that rarefied set that quit on their own—no help needed.Sobriety or Self-DestructionBut the point is: we get better or we blow up our lives.I chose rehab, a Suboxone program (six-month duration, thankfully done), and AA meetings to get well. And now, things . . .are better. In the beginning my sobriety was no fun at all: when I looked through those same bay windows at the same beautiful view, a huge dose of anhedonia would hit me. Who cares if it’s beautiful? I’d think, seamlessly segueing into darker thoughts like: What a loser you are, or aren’t you a little old to still be blowing up your life?But gradually (I can’t stress this enough), I recovered and those ugly thoughts subsided. I still have them, but nowhere near as bad. They told me in early sobriety to “stop isolating” and be around people. I found this exceedingly hard because while using, I’d convinced myself that I was an unrepentant misanthrope. Well, when I got sober I realized I didn’t really dislike anyone, I was more afraid of folks. So, again gradually (they call it “slobriety”), I’ve lost my fear of people and have learned to socialize more. Even though I’m a loner by nature, I know that humans are social animals. At the very least, I am going against biology when I'm alone all the time. Learning to Love 12-Step MeetingsMeetings can be one way to escape isolation without having to be super cheerful or interesting. In the beginning of my precarious sobriety, I went to meetings as simply a way of getting out of the house. However, a cherished bonus—and one I was not expecting—was the feeling of being loved. During my many failed sobriety attempts years ago I scoffed at the “let us love you until you can love yourself” platitude—only because where I came from, love was almost always conditional. Image was everything and being a woman of propriety was paramount (never mind what happens behind closed doors!). But finally I was so desperate to get well that I took love wherever it was freely given. And I was pleased to discover there is nothing wrong with getting unconditional love from random people—because eventually those random people became my friends.There are times when being alone is inescapable, and this is when my thoughts can get downright dark. But at least now I have tools to deal with them. I can do some cognitive therapy and challenge my thoughts: “Oh, come on! You are getting better!” Or: “Oh come on! You’re trying, give yourself a break.” If that doesn’t work, I get on my knees and pray.“God, please direct my thinking! Give me the strength to manage my life!” Even though I’m not sure I believe in God, I do it as a gesture of humility. And sometimes a calmness, a sense of focus, a clarification of the next “indicated step” presents itself, and I say a prayer of gratitude to the Universe for getting me out of my head and into action. If the silence gets too deafening, I’ll call someone. To “get out of self,” I generally reach out to someone who may be having a harder go at it than me. Or sometimes I just do something goofy like turn on some old school rap like Too Short’s Shake that Monkey and just jam out like an oblivious white girl. My twerking leaves a lot to be desired, my butt is just too flat. But it’s remarkably good exercise.Fear, Rumination, and AcceptanceSometimes, I’ll force myself to sit with these dark thoughts: acknowledge my insecurities, my chaotic and destructive past, my fear of never measuring up. This last trajectory can be dangerous because it can immediately put me in an even darker mood that lasts for days where I end up ruminating in obsessive, sad, or angry loops that keep playing like a film projector that won’t shut off. But I do believe that recognizing these dark corners of my psyche and accepting them, then coming up with a plan to negate any further damage by changing my actions to more positive and kinder ones is probably the best way to go. Because sometimes keeping busy in order to avoid thinking is like the old expression: brushing it under the rug. The dirt piles up in my mind, making me toxic.When I’m alone and the cravings for drink and pills get fucking intense, I’ll walk around the block like a demented person, or even worse: I’ll go to the smoke shop and buy one cigarette at a time. When I have no social engagements and there are no meetings, self-pity can overwhelm me, my thoughts of loneliness so deep I’ll find myself obsessively checking my phone to see if anyone has texted. This is probably the hardest “alone” time there is, when you realize you’re alone because you have no one to be with. And I want to scream: “I know I fucked up! I know I acted the fool high! But I’m sober now and a totally different person!” Usually there is no answer from the heavens and I have to sigh myself into a grudging acceptance. Remembering "This Too Shall Pass"Sometimes the only consolation for being sober is my stubborn refusal to get high no matter how lonely and sad I feel, and the knowledge that this too shall pass. And it always does. That day will surely come again where I’ll be outside, gazing at a gorgeous old Victorian home in the historic part of San Diego, or walking in the woods, or snuggled up with my hubby watching some improbably good show on Netflix, and I’ll say to myself: “I am, right now, presently, 100% good with the Universe.” A warm contentment will engulf me—much subtler than the synthetic euphoria of oxy. But it doesn’t matter because here’s the thing: I earned it, and that alone makes it a far more powerful and beautiful experience than drugs ever gave me. How do you handle the dark times in sobriety? Let us know in the comments.

from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 https://www.thefix.com/alone-sobriety-how-i-deal-dark-thoughts-cravings-and-urge-isolate

[character-aroma-project-blog]

The Process of Self-discovery, Hindrances and Benefits

Dear friends, the art of gaining insight into one’s weaknesses, strengths, uniqueness, character, life-purpose is what I would like to discuss today.  We are raised to study different subjects in school but no one mentions about the study of SELF.  Then we end up living someone else’s dream, doing courses we are really not interested in, trying to belong to different groups, copying other people and in short living an artificial life!  Each one of us must invest time and resources in discovering ourselves.  This will be the beginning of living and the end of just existing.  

This process of self-discovery can be started by:

1.            Identifying your unique beliefs, values, and strengths

Your strengths are seen in the activities which you are naturally drawn towards, excel in and feel good about.  Your values reveal themselves when you feel strongly about certain things e.g. Society may think that to be beautiful means you must wear revealing or tight clothes, etc. but my own definition of beauty is developing my inner person, my personality.  Do you just agree with your parents’ religious affiliations just because they are your parents or you have come to understand your faith based on personal convictions?

2.            Discover yourself by identifying the people that truly matter to you

Surround yourself with people who love you, motivate and inspire you.  Someone said, “You are the sum of the five people you spend the most time with.”  For the people that truly matter to you, what influence do they have over your life? Consider family, friends, siblings, parents, colleagues, neighbours, mentors, etc. As you continue to linger around them, where do you see yourself in the next two years; will they have influenced you or you have influenced them? And if they are influencing you, then in what direction – positive or negative. Stick with those that bring out the best in you at all costs. Those are the one with your interest at heart.

3.            Identify your source of stress

Adapting a simple lifestyle helps. Things like attending to everybody’s needs but you, financial struggles, health issues – eating and resting well, seek help in these.  Having so many commitments like meetings, activities leaving you too tired and occupied the whole week without ‘me-time’.  These can be as a result of poor time management skills or poor financial management and there are short courses that one can invest in to gain the necessary skills, other means can be asking for help from people who are successful in an area you are failing. Also, for self-education, there are free videos one can watch from YouTube.

4.            Discover your individuality and uniqueness.  

Mahatma Gandhi said, “He who loses his individuality loses all.” What makes you stand out, different from others? Knowing that is knowing YOU.  It is that uniqueness that one needs to build on and showcase to the world.

5.            Discover your vulnerability and insecurities –

“All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why” – James Thurber. This is a sobering question because we need to ask ourselves why we are running from or to certain things.  This will open our eyes to what is really going on within us.  Once the problem is known, the solution can be found.  Another question to ask is, “What triggers your anger, hatred, jealousy, ego and what are the causes of that lack of self-confidence?  Drop any negative thoughts and habits that are affecting your health, relationships, finances, studies, career, etc.

6.            Start to rely on yourself

This boosts confidence, self-worth, self-belief, and trust in yourself.  You will not always get this right, so this is the time to learn to be patient with yourself and build confidence in your abilities and judgments. Taking on the responsibility for your household matters, budgeting, planning the future, etc. is a good way to practice. Relying on yourself will also help you to learn to let go of the need to please everyone.

7.            Organise your life and therefore your world

Have a daily plan, weekly schedule, know when to switch off the phone to concentrate on a task, keep a calendar where all your tasks and appointments are logged, set alarms when necessary, have ‘me-time’, social time, quiet time, etc.  Organised people are more productive and tend to live balanced lives – they create time for themselves, self-development, family, and social events.

8.            Wake up to be a thinking person

It does not take much to be a thinking person; think before you act, recall past events in your life that have shaped or affected you, seek clarification and identification of issues. This is much needed because major events in your past can be formation blocks for your future goals.  Also, negative experiences shape us, so do not ignore these, focus on what you learned from them

9.            Have regular retreats

Have some time and space away from expectations, conversations, noise, media, pressure, family, etc. to connect with your core during that time, listen to inspirational teachings, music, reading books, pray, sleep/rest (that is okay too!).  Invest time to re-awaken your creativity and passions, so form a system to work on your passion each day.

10.         Seek mentorship

Believe me, friends, we all need somebody more experienced, knowledgeable than we are. They make us escape mistakes and life becomes much easier.  It is a fact that we cannot go far on our own, we need to ride on the shoulders of others, avoid some mistakes, etc.

11.         Ask yourself questions:

These are just three of the main questions that anyone desiring to discover themselves can ask:

•         If I had all the resources, what would I still be doing with my life and why?

•         What do I want to be remembered for?

•         Looking back at my life, what is that thing that I can never regret?

Having looked at some of the steps we can take to self-discovery, let us now see what can stand in the way of achieving that:

a)              Environment - in this context, I am referring to the influence of family, friends, what we read, listen to or watch, societal and cultural beliefs.  Another form of ‘environment’ can be depicted from the Bible – Matthew Chapter 13 which talks about The Parable of the Sower, describing the different types of environment that we (the seeds) can find ourselves in. These types of ‘environments’ can either promote or kill our self-development, for example:

•       Pathway – represents the lack of understanding exposes us to all forms of attacks – mental, physical, and emotional, etc. To get a form of ‘covering’, we need mentors in our lives or learn from others by listening to sound teachings, widening our worldview and mindset.

•       Rocky way – represents the lack of depth – do not be a surface person, expose yourself to knowledge,

•       Thorns – represent the worries of life, the deceitfulness of wealth, and other distractions.  Overcome this environment by rebuilding your life, become an architect of your life, develop new values and systems to ensure that you live by that e.g. consciously deciding to think about a specific thing during the day and nothing outside of this

•       Good soil – represents one having a right understanding of life and purpose of life, has deeper knowledge and application of life principles.

b)            Slave to one’s job - when we allow jobs to tie us down, to the extent of not having the time to discover ourselves, then we stand a big chance of never being fulfilled in life. The job just remains as a means of earning a living and not something we are passionate about.

c)            Ignorance – this is especially magnified in the developing world where illiteracy levels are very high. Ignorance can rob one of every opportunity.  For example, the free resources on the internet cannot be accessed nor understood.  We need to seek education at all costs!

d)            Lack of self-discipline – this affects self-education and time-management, without which one cannot achieve anything, talk less of self-discovery.

e)            Not being in the ‘Here and Now’ as termed by a great mentor Dr. Sunday Adelaja. This means not being conscious of what is happening around you, but being a day-dreamer. When we are fully awake and are aware of what is happening around us makes us effective people – this is part of self-development.  This means that when you are in a seminar, listening to a talk, you are 100% engaged and maximising the moment, and hereby being effective of your time.

f)             Religiosity and miracle-mindedness – this robs us of our personal responsibility in getting the things we need in life.  This ‘prison’ makes one think that they have to wait on God to do everything for them, yet the power is actually in their hands. When one says, “my life is in God’s hands”, it means that they cannot even read hard at school to pass their exams, they cannot go to hospital for treatment, they cannot acquire new skills, etc., all because they things should miraculously come in place or drop down from heaven – what an illusion! God has given us all the resources we need for life and it is up to us to realise and utilise them in order to make our lives count.

g)            Lack of boundaries – set boundaries to safeguard your time, you will not have time for self-discovery exercises if you are working 24 hours a day and 7 days a week, attending different kinds of meetings throughout the week, watching TV for hours, partying every weekend, etc. Set boundaries can be switching off your phone when busy, having some free days in a week when you are off-work, having a set time frame for sleeping, being selective in what meeting you attend – you are not needed in all of these.  Choose the meetings where you are intentional e.g. the need to talk to someone about something important, impacting lives, and so on.

h)            Under a manipulative and abusive relationship – sometimes we can subject ourselves to a toxic environment e.g. with a spouse, family members or any leader, where we are not growing intellectually, mentally, socially, financially, spiritually and other areas of our life to help us discover ourselves.  We need to check-out! We need to develop your emotional muscles and a thick skin, when we have set our mind on a thing, other ‘voices’ are irrelevant!

i)             Being in your comfort zone – when one settles in their comfort zone, there is no drive to seek for more knowledge, one becomes content with where they are at, and this is the most dangerous state. Find a new challenge, cultivate self-motivation, and establish a support system where you have an accountability partner, in that which you want to accomplish in life.

j)             Lack of critical thinking, reasoning and a culture of questioning – we need to learn to ask questions. A developing mind is one that is curious.  Inventors, researchers, innovators all ask questions and pursue answers.

k)            Other hindrances can be

·         Being stuck in the past, superstitions, unforgiveness, etc.

·         Fear of past failures and future uncertainties

Starting and being committed to the journey of self-discovery has many benefits, and these include:

·         It helps you to gain a sense of self-awareness by identifying your own values and strengths.  Can easily attain happiness and satisfaction when you are utilizing your strength in the service of a cause that you believe in

·         One can escape being a victim of superstitions, manipulations and societal expectations

·         It prevents burn-out – when one’s strength, interest, and values do not correspond to the scope of their work, it results to stress!

·         When you know who you are, you look through the right ‘lenses’ and easily see opportunities that fit you e.g. you go for the right training, studies, mentors, etc. You easily see the options that support your goals and desires

·         You become more productive; it allows you to tap into that inner energy of inspiration

·         One becomes a personality and not just a population ‘statistic’ – your life counts and you leave a mark in the ‘sand of history’. You start to live and not merely exist.

·         When we give space to who you are, you gain access to hidden insights, wisdom, ideas, gifts, and talents. This is how innovators and inventors arise.

·         Making decisions becomes easier for us.  We struggle mainly because we consider how others will feel, how the culture perceives something, to please others, etc.

·         You become a role model for others, those around you admire your strong personality and can want to emulate you.  

·         Heaven comes down!  If all of us embark on this journey of self-discovery, people would discover that the purpose of their lives is not to cause pain but bring life; then there would be fewer crimes, happier homes, fulfilled lives, fewer street children and school drop-outs. The world becomes a better place for everyone

·         You become a problem solver and thereby famous, sort after, history-maker

In conclusion, self-discovery allows us to know who we are.  Then we can easily see and know what we want in life, and not what others want for ourselves.  When we know who we are, we can easily choose or create work that is aligned with us – this is life-fulfilling! It is your calling which will give you both the greatest fulfillment and the most prosperous rewards.

Join the Train of Transformers Esther Kuganja Adedoyin Character Aroma Project

8th November 2018