#for a good time go to this tag on my blog to relive the madness:

[eevachu]

That tumblr user feeling when your blood pressure rises seeing any variation of this meme because you’re preparing for the psychic damage of Breaking World News being inflicted on you

Happy anniversary to those who celebrate

Three years?????? THREE YEARS????!!!!

[obiwanobi]

Just saw your post discussing time travel aus and I love them as well, do you have any Obikin time travel fic recs? I love your blog, sometimes when I feel shitty I scroll through my favourite tags of yours and get a mad boost of serotonin, thank you so much! 🥰❤️❤️❤️

I do!  Here’s some Obikin time travel fics: 

Soldier, Poet, King, by Glare, 106k, wip. I haven’t read this one in some time but I remember that I absolutely adored it, it’s probably in my top 5 favourite obikin fics. Like I said, I prefer when both Anakin and Obi-wan are sent back in time, and that’s exactly what happens here, BUT. It’s Vaderkin and ‘oops I turned bad’ Sith!Obi-wan, sent back to pre-TPM era. I often think about this fic because it’s such a good concept, especially with the conflict it creates between Qui-gon and padawan!Obi-wan, and the relationship between Vaderkin and sith!Obi-wan, who aren’t entirely evil, as long as Obi-wan keeps Vaderkin on a tight leash. 

In Time, by Ripki, 27k. First part of a series, can be read as gen. Anakin and Obi-wan revisit different moments in time and it forces them to speak about everything they avoided until now. I really liked the slow change in their relationship, and the next two instalments of this series are great too!

Hourglass, by BeanieBaby, 69k, wip. After his death, Obi-wan wakes up in TPM-era and vows to save Anakin. I remember that I loved protective!Obi-wan with kid!Anakin that changes into protective!Anakin as a teenager and ‘please stop humping my leg’ Obi-wan, and the way Obi-wan also tries to save the galaxy from Palpatine and not mess everything up along the way. 

 Home, by l_tales, 48k. Obi-wan also goes back in time and decides that Anakin shouldn’t be found by Qui-gon. He leaves Anakin and his mother on Tatooine, and promises himself to leave it like that while he deals with Palpatine’s growing influence. Years later, he can’t help himself but come back. If you’re uneasy with master/padawan relationships like me, you will feel a bit uncomfortable at time, so read with caution, but both characters love each other and there is no moment where Obi-wan, even if possessive at times, takes advantage of Anakin (who’s adorable in this one). 

Only you, by queerocracy, 137k. Obi-wan and Anakin travels to the future, actually talks to each other about their feelings, fears and love, form a dyad bond and meet a lot of familiar faces. 

I myself have torn myself to shreds, by iiscos, 4k. Angsty and sad 5+1 of Anakin going back to different points of time to change history. It doesn’t go well. There is still a soft and almost happy ending, so everything isn’t all dark! 

the kind that was burned first, by loosingletters, 10k. One day, Obi-wan shows up with some random guy and his two children and everyone is perplexed, but it’s all good anyway. I love the outsider’s pov, and it’s a refreshing take on the time travel trope! 

+ BONUS: time loop/groundhog day fics, which is a trope I ADORE maybe even more than time travel: 

 this too shall pass, by Himboskywalker, 5k, wip. When I discovered only recently than one of my favourite authors in this fandom started a time loop fic, I almost lost it. So here, take this very promising first chapter of half-feral Vaderkin reliving the last few days of ROTS on repeat. 

The Fires, by Driverpicksthemooseic, 4k. Obi-wan going through the Mustafar scene again and again, until he gets it right. 

The 5 Lives of Obi-Wan by Kenobiyujacheong, 1.3k. Obi-wan tries to do things differently 5 times, with various results. 

[twinkleallnight]

Remember me -3

Book: The Royal Romance AU

Pairing: Leo x Madeleine

Word count: 1206

Disclaimer: All characters belong to pixelberry.

Rating: Mature

Warning: Mention of death.

Prompt: Features @choicesaprilchallenge2021 Day 10-horizon.

Summary: Leo has returned, has been brought back to Cordonia after almost three decades. But he is not the same Leo we knew. He is devastated after his wife Katie’s death and his own brother Liam is not able to revive him out of the grief. Everyone looks at one person with all hopes: Madeleine. Will their story begin again at the twilight of their lives?

Catch up here

Present day...

The Lake... Madeleine crossed the tall boundary around the palace, beyond which grew the flowers and shrubs, wildly on the lakeside. The fence was made of wired mesh, which was camouflaged by a thick growth of the blue morning glory over it.

The flowers attracted Madeleine even today just like they did when she was eleven years old....

************

Past...

Queen Eleanor had softened the rough look of the fence with her aesthetic touch. It was serendipity when Madeleine had run away, trying to play a prank on Leo one day when she had first witnessed the blossoming wall…

“Caught ya!” Leo pounced on Madeleine while she was lost in the beauty of the bloom. She lost her balance and both of them tripped and rolled down the slope to the lake. When they finally came to a halt, Madeleine’s head was a bush with a few wild flowers hanging out of her golden tangles. Leo pointed at her head and doubled up laughing. “You look like a clown! Mad Maddie!”

Madeleine frowned at him and he quickly started picking the twigs from her hair. She blushed when he tried moving his fingers through her curls like a comb. “There. Now you are all good.”

“Thank you.” She lowered her eyelashes shyly.

He cupped her cherubic face with his stubby fingers. “I am sorry I didn't mean to let you fall like that.”

Her jade eyes shone brightly, “It is fine Leo. It wasn’t your fault. I lost my balance.” She turned around to look at the calm waters. “This place is beautiful. I never saw it before.”

“Yes, Mom is trying to beautify this side of the palace. She got the hedge maze done and Liam claimed it all. She has promised me that she is going to make a beautiful lakeside garden especially for me here.” Leo boasted.

“It is so sweet of her. She loves you so much even when you are her step son.” Madeleine covered her mouth with shock as soon as the words spilled out.

Leo kept smiling, unaffected.

She tried to explain. “I am so sorry! That was not my intention. It's just that I… I have a mother but she doesn’t care.” Madeleine was almost in tears. Leo clasped her shoulders and proudly said. “It’s okay. You know, my Mom is very loving. She loves you too.”

He stood up and pulled her up along with him and beamed at her, “You can share the lake side with me. We can plant your favourite flowers here with Mom.”

“Really?” Madeleine jumped in excitement as she hugged Leo.

“Yes! Why not!” He exclaimed. "It's my special place. And I want to share it with you."

Both the kids dusted each other's clothes and rushed back to the palace to speak to Eleanor.

After a few days, Madeleine chose Hydrangea to match the blue of morning glory and they planted a row of the flowers. The next time, she got Bluebells.

“Why are you planting all blue flowers?” Leo asked her as she placed some wet soil over her newly planted shrub.

“I love the blues, they match your eyes.” She said bashfully.

“And the greens attached to them?” Leo teased.

“That is the colour of my eyes.” She gazed into his sapphire eyes and then faltered when she realised Leo was staring back at her. “They also resemble the horizon." She pointed at the other end of the lake where the row of olive groves met the firozi skies. Leo sat with her to admire the beauty of the horizon till late in the evening. They left with a promise to come back with more plans and plants.

But the warmth of their favourite little outing place didn’t last long. Their world came crashing down with Eleanor’s sudden death. Liam was too young but for Leo this was the second trauma. He lost his mother once again. Madeleine tried to alleviate his pain by doing his favourite things.

One such day, she pulled Leo to the lake side to surprise him with the new planters of Iris flowers. She chose these specially to dedicate them to Eleanor. But it brought back his mother’s memories making it more painful. He felt more hurt. Tears rolled down his burning eyes as he picked up a planter and threw it away in anger.

“Blue and green never meet.” His lakeside garden dream was shattered. “It's all false. Nothing is true. It is all flawed. Blue and green never meet! The horizon is fake. It is an illusion! Look Madeleine…” He shouted. “its an illusion! It was never true.”

He stomped away in anger. A disheartened Madeleine held herself tightly as she cried out, her cries turning into sobs and sobs mellowing down to few hiccups. As the shine of sun turned to twilight and twilight dulled down to darkness.

But she never gave up. She kept adding little shrubs and bushes of blue flowers in the memory of Queen Eleanor, till it was complete one day. Till, Leo came back with her to his garden, their garden. Till they held hands and stood quietly looking at the horizons.

Present day...

Today, she could see a stooped old figure lethargically moving in that lakeside garden. She took a deep breath. Once again she was going to remind Leo of the happier times. Once again she was going to stand holding his hand gazing at the horizons, reliving the warmth of their yesteryears.

She closed the distance, crossing the gentian blues and the phlox shrub. As she neared the back of the figure standing in the greens, her heartbeat raced. Twenty six long years! She placed her shivering hand on his shoulder. “Leo?”

The tall man turned to look at her. His face had more wrinkles than she could count. The eyes she was searching for were dull and listless. The lips that smiled once were dropped at the corner.

“Yes?” he spoke in a shaky voice. Gone was the tinker in his voice, she noticed.

“How are you?” Madeleine knew better to keep her calm and continue the conversation.

“I am good, thank you.” He completed the formality in a monotone.

She looked down at his hands holding iris flowers at the green stem.

"You remember." She said in a whisper, her heart fluttering.

"How can I forget?" He said in a heavy voice, as if he would break down at any moment.

Madeleine tried to show support and placed her hand on his, holding the flowers.

But he suddenly snatched away. "What are you trying lady?" He yelled at her.

"Leo?" She searched his eyes. "You said you remembered?" She asked him confused.

He glared at her. "Yes. I remember. I remember Katie. How can I forget her?" He thumped his way up to the palace, mumbling incoherent words. Madeleine stood facing the serene waters while the flood from her eyes refused to stop.

The line of olive grove that met the blue sky seemed to be hazy and it faded completely, as the sun went down.

A voice echoed from over the surface of the lake. "Look Madeleine! The horizon is fake. It is an illusion! it was never true."

Tags: @annekebbphotography @alj4890 @anjanettexcordonia @bascmve01 @charlotteg234 @choicesficwriterscreations @cordonia-gothqueen @cordonian-literature @drakewalker04 @gkittylove99 @krsnlove @hopefulmoonobject @hopelessromanticmonie @idontknowwhysblog @indiacater @jessiembruno @kingliam2019 @lisha1valecha @neotericthemis @ntoraplayschoices @princess-geek @princessleac1 @secretaryunpaid @sirbeepsalot @speedyoperarascalparty @texaskitten30 @txemrn @sweatyrysconnoisseur @theroyalheirshadowhunter @aestheticartsx @yourmajesty09 @efecom @grsarco-blog @lovelyladyk88 @mainstreetreader @choiceskatie @claireloutoo @tinkie1973

***********

Return to Masterlist

[verobatto]

Destiel Chronicles

Vol. LXXIV

It was a love story from the very beginning

You Are (Part III)

(11x23)

Hi! We reached the last meta from season 11! Yay!

As I disclaimed in my last meta, this is a Destiel centered series of analysis, so the rest of the topics could be taken superficially.

Hope you enjoy! Let's start!

[[MORE]]

You are back

Çhuck, God himself, was agonizing on the floor, the event most important on the entire Universe, but even so, Dean ordered Sam to go to check on him, because Dean wanted to check on his angel, his own personal universe.

Gif credit @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs

So the relived and slight one side ways smile he showed when he realized his Cas was back, it was priceless.

So, okay, the world was about to end, but Dean has Cas back, so... 🤣🤣

And later, when Cas made a innocent appreciation about Dog's breakfast, Dean just feels so proud of him. Throwing to his brother "Cas is back."

But I know we are not here for this little scenes ... But the nefarious car talk... Okay, let's suffer now.

I for We. And you are a brother to Us

We all know there was plenty alcohol in that bunker when Dean decided not to die sober.

The camera showed us deliberately, when the hunter opens the fridge, we had beers there.

So the 'let's go to a ride to buy some beers before the world ends' was just an excuse.

He invited Sam to covered his intentions, knowing Sam would reject him for sure.

So, when Sam said no, as he was expecting, he calls for his angel.

Once in the road, the conversation wet from one point, to another. But the way it ended it wasn't pleasent.

DEAN: How you doing? You good? I mean, you know, the whole Lucifer thing.

So, this is what happens with Dean: he can openly talk about his feelings or other people's feelings with Sam or Jody, but he lost track of his own words when Cas is in front of him. So here, by this, he wanted to know about why Cas said yes, or... What was happening with him. Because he didn't see that coming. But he simplifies this whole ideas that haunting him for so many days and night without sleeping, saying 'the whole Lucifer thing'. The whole Lucifer thing means all of this, including his own deception of Cas rejecting to be saved by him. To come back to him. So there this wall between Dean's true feelings and Dean's words towards Cas. He is protecting himself from that pain, the rejection. So he is deeply concerned, but he needs to act cool.

CAS: I was just... so stupid.

Cas is still sad and feeling not usefulness.

DEAN: No, no, no. It wasn't stupid. You were right. You were right to let Lucifer ride shotgun.

Me and Sam wouldn't have done that.

By saying this, Dean is trying to convince Cas he was useful, and brave. Because he did something not Sam not him would do. Dean is trying to support him and comfort him, as a real friend would do. He could be yelling at him, and saying he did a stupid thing, as he uses to do when Cas takes this kind of decision, but this time is different, because he recognizes Cas said yes to Lucifer because he was feeling sad, and bad. And Dean didn't see that.

CAS: Well, it didn't work.

DEAN: No, but it was our best shot, and you stepped up.

CAS: I was just trying to help.

DEAN: Well, and you do help, Cas.

Dean repeats to Cas that what he did was useful, was very helpful, he is important in the fight. Now that he settled that point, is time to let the angel know he's not just important for the fight, but for him. Because he was terribly worried about him, not sleeping, imagine he could lost him forever... But his fears to rejection played Dean again.

DEAN: You know, l— You know, sometimes me and Sam have got so much going on that...we forget about everyone else.

He backtracked, but he tried, he tried to apologise because he didn't see what was happening with Cas. So he look for a shield. Sam. If he uses Sam, he won't be alone in his feelings... Because Sam loves Cas a a brother, a real friend. But not Dean. Dean is in love with Cas, so, Sam is the shield. Those feelings: BROTHERHOOD, FRIENDSHIP. Yes. Dean can handle that. But his true feelings? The first person talk? The L word?, He just can't right now... that's why he transforms I into WE/US/SAM AND ME. We didn't see you sad. We weren't aware of your depression.

CAS: Well, you do live exciting lives.

DEAN: [Chuckles] Yeah, that's one word for it.

But you're always there, you know?

With this Dean is trying to say another thing it was haunting his mind this whole time for sure. Cas always come when they call. Cas is always there for them. Cas takes care of him, all the time. He failed to Cas.

[Dean looks over at Cas]

DEAN: You're the best friend we've ever had.

Dean is feeling the cowardice all over him, using the shield, the safe WE and covering his own true emotions and feelings, to deliver a message to Cas: YOU ARE IMPORTANT, best friend, is wonderful privilege, a great place. But Cas is more than just that, even for Sam, so he adds...

You're our brother, Cas. I want you to know that.

Dean places Cas in Sam's spot: BROTHERHOOD that's the maximum place for a friend. So for sure, Sam considers Cas his brother. But is not the place Dean gave Cas in his heart. But is a safe word: BROTHER, there's not danger on that. Not feelings exposure. Not rejection.

Gif credit @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs👇

Cas' sad and disappointed expression when he hears Dean saying this is so painful to see. That's not the place he wants with Dean. So is more pain for his angelic heart. Dean, heartbroken as he was for being rejected when he tried to save him, is heartbreaking Castiel now. Misscomunication, that will take a huge place in Dabb's era.

Jealous Cas

Just a few words about this, because I'm addition to the new rejection our angel had felt in Dean's hands, when they were planing the soul bomb, they needed someone to get close to Amara. And Cas, who had witnessed the way Dean and Amara interacted, that... Bond, he gave his own opinion about the plan...

CAS: We need somebody to get close to her, someone with a... personal connection.

Cas made a face here, not a good one hehe. He knew about this, about their connection.

Goodbye

Dean said goodbye to his mom the grave ( as a foreshadow of her resurrection), to his brother, and then, it was time for Cas...

Gif credit @spnsmile 👇

The hug is tender, and Dean looks sad at the end. But then Cas throws to him his quote ...

CAS: I could go with you.

DEAN: No, no, no. No, I got to do this alone.

Castiel is always willing to die for Dean, so let him go alone to a certain death is not something he is able to handle, but because Dean is requesting him this, and then he even gave Cas a mission: to take care of Sam. That's why Cas stays. He has a new mission, to protect Sam and comfort him.

Finally, when the world was saved, the camera shows us Cas asking for Dean. Because his thoughts were with him the whole time. Just like Dean's thoughts when he wanted to get his angel back, or when they were planning to defeat Amara, and Dean asked what Cas thought about the plan, and Lucy mocked him, of course.

Gif credit @mad-as-a-box-of-frogs 👇

Need vs Want

The writers presented to us the topic we will explore in season 12/13 and even 14. What do you want, Dean?

Want is not need. The quote I NEED YOU. It was used by Dean Winchester in the crypt scene, as a shield too, to avoid the fact that he needs Cas because he loves him.

But here we have Amara

AMARA: Dean, you gave me what I needed most. I want to do the same for you.

And she wasn't wrong, she needed her brother to be in peace, and after a visit to the bunker, finding that pic with Mary and Dean on it, she perceived Dean needed his mom the most. So Dean will need his mother to finally find what he really wants. It will be the start of his self knowledge, self acceptance and self love that will lead him to finally express his true feelings for Castiel, that we all are waiting to happen in season 15.

I hope you enjoyed this!! See you in the next meta! Season 12!

To Conclude:

Last episode from this season showed us an attempt of Dean Winchester to put into words all the things that he was struggling with. But using Sam and changing the I for We/Us is a symptom of Dean's fears of being rejected. He is not ready to express his feelings which is translated into a new deception and rejection for Cas. Misscomunication.

Ending with the Need vs Want, preparing the self knowledge path Dean will have in season 14.

Tagging @magnificent-winged-beast @emblue-sparks @weird-dorky-little-deana @michyribeiro @whyjm @legendary-destiel @a-bit-of-influence @thatwitchydestielfan @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover @lykanyouko @evvvissticante @savannadarkbaby @dea-stiel @poorreputation @bre95611 @thewolfathedoor @charlottemanchmal @neii3n @deathswaywardson @followyourenergy @dean-is-bi-till-i-die @hekatelilith-blog @avidbkwrm @anarchiana @dickpuncher365 @vampyrosa @authorsararayne @anonymoustitans @mybonsai1976 @love-neve-dies @dustythewind @wayward-winchester67 @angelwithashotgunandtrenchcoat @trashblackrainbow @deeutdutdutdoh @destiel-shipper-11 @larrem88 @charmedbycastiel @ran-savant @little-crazy-misha-minion @samoosetheshipper

@shadows-and-padlocked-hearts @mishtho @dancingtuesdaymorning @nerditoutwithbooks @mikennacac73 @justmeand-myinsight @idontwantpeopletoknowmyname @teddybeardoctor @pepevons @helevetica @isthisdestiel @dizzypinwheel @jawnlockwinchester @horsez2 @qanelyytha

@imjustkipping @destielle @agusvedder @spnsmile @shippsblog @robot-feels @superlock-in-the-tardis @superduckbatrebel

If you want to be added or removed from this list, just let me know.

If you want to read the previous metas from season 11, here you have the links.

Vol. LXII, LXIII, LXIV, LXV, LXVI, LXVII, LXVIII, LXIX, LXX, LXXI, LXXII, LXXIII.

Buenos Aires, August 11th 2020 5:30 PM

[saharamae21]

Vapor (Part 9)

Hey guys! Sorry this took a bit, but I’ve been really questioning this series since the anon messages came through. It’s a bit short, but I’m going to try to update again before morning. 

Word Count: 1.5k

Warnings: Mention of abduction and murder. Angst.

______________________________________

I sat on the ferry and thought about what waited for me at home. I thought about my parents and Sydney. I thought about the Pogues and the Kooks. I knew that there was a lot waiting for me at home. I felt the ocean mist me as we went back to the Outer Banks. I got off the ferry and felt the light rainfall against my skin. Everything was exactly the same as before I left, however, I was much different. The children and their families were engraved in the back of my head. I wanted to make the most of my life for them, but how could I? I was so disturbed by everything that had gone on.

I went back home and my dad greeted me at the door, but he wasn’t alone. Ward Cameron was on his way out as I walked up. He said hi to me as he passed and got into his car. Did he tell my dad that Sarah and I weren’t friends anymore? I turned my attention back to my dad at the door and the incredibly worried expression on his face. He pulled me into a hug and told me that he would’ve gone with me. He told me that nothing is more important than how I was feeling. I hugged him and reassured him that I would be fine. I lied to him. I didn’t want my family to know I was spiralling.

I ignored Sydney on my way up to my room and shut the door. I wanted to be alone for a little bit before I faced everything. I needed time to process everything. I sat on my bed and thought about everything that led up to where I am. I thought about becoming a Kook. I thought about the note I left JJ. I thought about the broken families in White Chapel. Everything has led me here. It’s led me to laying in this bed with the constant feeling of suffocation.

I heard my mom come home and decided I should probably greet her. I forced myself up and made my way down the steps. She pulled me into her arms and told me she loved me. She told me how lucky she was to have me in her life still. I could feel her tears seeping into my shirt. I knew that I should’ve felt something in that moment, but I didn’t. I blamed it on how emotionally exhausted I was.

My mom asked me to stay on the main level so she could check up on me while she made dinner. I knew she was worried so I didn’t argue and sat on the couch. I sat there and tried to process everything that’s happened in the past few days. I knew I couldn’t do this on my own, but with everything JJ was going through, how could I ask him for help?

Then a knock interrupted my thoughts. My mom asked me to grab the door, so I went and opened it up. Topper stood in front of me, looking upset. He asked me if I could talk. Maybe this was a sign. Maybe I should tell him about what's going on. I hated him right now, but I really needed someone. I told him that we couldn’t talk inside. I walked out on the step with him and felt the rain brush against me lightly. We were slightly protected by the door, but it wasn’t enough.

“Listen A,” he said. “I’m sorry about the kiss and everything afterwards. I’ve been a huge ass to you and I don’t want things to be weird between us.”

I listened to his sincere apology and even though I hated him right now, I needed someone. He told me how I looked stressed in White Chapel. He told me that he told Sarah the truth. He told me that Rafe was being an ass. He was trying really hard to regain my trust.

“What were you doing in White Chapel anyways? You said it was personal?” he said. I looked at him and tried to find the best way to tell him. I didn’t want to bombard him with my childhood trauma. I wanted to ease him into things.

“Did you hear that they found those missing kids?” I asked. He stared at me, nodding but not following. My voice shook as I continued to talk. “They would’ve been around our age now.” “Adelaide, you don’t need to continue if it’s hard for you,” he said, gently grabbing my arm. I looked at him and shook my head.

“W-when I was 8, I was taken by the man who killed those kids…” I said it, avoiding eye contact. “Lately, I’ve been dreaming. I’ve been having these dreams where I relive those moments and-”

He pulled me into his chest and hugged me. The sudden contact was just enough to trigger tears. I had done such a good job keeping them at bay, but now they flooded out of my eyes. He told me I didn’t have to tell him anymore. He told me that he didn’t know and that I should’ve told him sooner. I cried a little more before separating myself from him.

“I-I didn’t know how to tell you guys about it,” I said. “Don’t tell anyone, okay?”

He was nodding at me when I heard a voice through the rain. I turned to see JJ, drenched. He was covered in rain and he held a small bouquet in his hand. He looked hurt as he stared at me.

“You told him?” he asked me. He was staring at me like I had just betrayed him in every way possible. “You actually told him? Unbelievable.”

What was I supposed to say to that? He dropped the flowers into the puddle below him and turned his back on me. For some reason, seeing him walk away made me want to chase after him. I felt anger surge through me as I tried to figure out why he was upset. I walked out into the rain and grabbed his arm. “What’s your problem?” I yelled. He had no right to be mad at me right now. He did the exact same thing to me when I needed him most. He ripped his arm away from me as he turned to face me. I could see the anger in his eyes as he turned back to me. It was a look I knew all too well, but this was the first time it was directed at me.

“You told him our secret!” he yelled.

“No, JJ! I told him my secret! It’s not yours or ours! You weren’t taken, I was!” I yelled. He turned his back on me once again, walking away. I wouldn’t let him go without giving him a piece of my mind though. As I walked and yelled, I felt myself hating him for the first time in two years. I listened to him yell at me over his shoulder to stop blaming him. I felt my eyes leak tears as he yelled at me. Never once had I blamed JJ for what I went through. Never once had I told him it was his fault. He always had this twisted thought that I had though and now I remembered the last words he said before we stopped being friends.

“I’m just sick of being blamed for everything that goes wrong in your life.”

“I’m not going to stand here while you blame me for this! Go back to your country club life and your shitty friends and stay the hell away from me!” he yelled, turning around to look at me once more.

“Stop playing the victim here, JJ!” I yelled. “You act like I blame you for everything and that I’m the worst person you’ve ever met! If you’re going to act that way, I don’t know why you reentered my life!”

I felt his hand grab my arm and pulled me closer to him. His other hand placed itself firmly on my cheek. His lips crashed into mine and I could faintly taste the weed that lingered on his lips. My body felt alive by him. This is what I wanted my first kiss to be like, meaningful and passionate. For a moment I even forgot about our argument. I closed my eyes and our lips moved in sync, but it ended all too soon. He pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine.

“Because you were suffering,” he whispered. “You were suffering and I thought I could fix it, but I was wrong…”

I felt my heart break as he moved away from me. He looked at me sadly before making his final statement. I was too shocked to move or go after him, but his words would haunt me more than the nightmares I’ve been having.

“Don’t worry, I’ll leave you for good this time.”

__________________________________________

Tag List : @jjmaybangme @thebendslikebendover @justcallmesams @jellyfishbeansontoast @prejudic3 @jjtheangel @jiaraendgame @obxmxybxnk @waywardbarbie @talksoprettyjjx @bb-tings @agirlwholovescoffee-blog @thoughtsofthestars @outerbankslut @potterheadhollander @baby-pogue @lindzaylove @obxlife @queenofthebees003 @rockyyc77 @beth-winchester21 @outerbongs @sunwardsss @ilovejjmaybank @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @jjmaybankwildtimes

[whats-the-story-tc]

Teacher Crush Would You Rather

by: @baeby-tc

1. Be your TC’s age or have your TC be your age?

Her be my age. I've always wondered what she was like when she was younger.

2. Have a summer fling with your TC, but never speak again afterwards or be in a long distance relationship with your TC for years, but never be able to meet in person?

Long-distance for sure. I can survive not being around people, even the ones I love.

3. Spend the day with your TC or pull an all nighter with your TC?

Spend all day with her. It would probably be the best day of my life, honestly speaking.

4. Accidentally confess your feelings to your TC while drunk or never confess your feelings to your TC?

Never confess. I'm not ever planning to, anyway, because I'd be risking too much for something she already knows, if I actually admitted to it. My tactic is to make her feel it instead, so I don't explode with all the emotion, but I don't have to come clean. I hide it in the small things I do for her or say to her. I make it subtextual. And that's enough for me.

5. Have your TC find out about your TCC blog and read every single post or relive your most embarrassing moment with your TC?

Relive that moment. I mean, it's just a moment, maybe I could approach it from a different perspective. But I don't want her on this blog. I don't want to scare her.

6. Go to a fancy restaurant with your TC or have a picnic with your TC?

I'm gonna be shallow here and pick the restaurant, just to see how she'd dress up 👀

7. Fly out of the country with your TC or drive/cycle cross country with your TC?

Flying, definitely. Ya know, I've only ever been on a plane once (okay, twice, if you count the way back) and that happened to be school-related and with a teacher. I was scared stiff, and because we were on really good terms, she ended up taking my hand to calm me down. I wouldn't mind a repeat of that, but with V this time...

8. Go to the movies with your TC or go to the museum with your TC?

Not big on either, but museum, I guess. We're both people who know a lot about the most eldritch shit possible, so it might even be fun. Not to mention she'd look especially gorgeous in that setting...

9. Never speak to your TC again, but still being able to see them out and about or never see your TC's face again, but still be able to call (not video call, only phone call), text and email them?

I think it would kill me not to speak to her ever again, so I'm thinking the latter. Just hearing her voice suffices perfectly.

10. Completely forgetting about your TC (they’re strangers to you) or feel as though your TC was some kind of ultra-realistic dream (you’re not sure whether it actually happened or you just dreamt it)?

My overthinking makes everything feel a little like a dream anyway, so I'll take it.

11. In a movie where your TC is the protagonist, be cast as the love interest or the antagonist?

While I have tremendous fun playing antagonists (they're usually better written, take it from a playwright), I wouldn't mind being the love interest this time... 👉👈

12. Confess your feelings in a letter or in person?

In person feels a bit more... real to me? I can't explain it, but like, a letter can be emotional and nice, sure, but a confession face-to-face is much more personal, much more brave and beautiful.

...says me, the one who prefers written communication and doesn't even want to confess. Though I would really want to see her eyes if I told her I loved her.

13. Get drunk with your TC or get high with your TC? 

After all those drinking stories of hers, I reeeeally want to see her drunk.

14. Having to social distance with everyone but your TC for a year or having to social distance with your TC but no one else for a year?

Everyone but her. I mean, I'm not big on being touched, anyway, I only like it from certain people and when it's not unexpected. And V gives INCREDIBLE hugs, as we all know. I think I'd quite like being able to touch only her for a year.

15. Get the chance to go through all of your TC's photo albums or get the chance to visit your TC's childhood home, current place and every school they’ve ever attended?

While all those places really interest me, I know for a fact that she has some... ahemm... rather very interesting photos, so I wouldn't exactly mind having a look at those...

16. Share a dorm with your TC for a month or be handcuffed to your TC for 24 hours? 

Handcuffing hinders us both unable to move properly, I think I'd go mad. I'm good with sharing a dorm.

17. Date someone with your TC's face/physical appearance but someone else’s personality or date someone with a different face but your TC’s personality?

Look, guys, we have the same face and physical appearance, so this isn't at all hard. Different face, same personality. V is stunning (okay, now this sounded weird, but those of you who've seen her can vouch for me), but I love what's inside way more.

18. Relive all of your favorite moments with your TC or have one of your dreams with your TC come to life?

Relive those moments for sure. Definitely. My dreams involving her are usually nothing much, or they all come true in some form, even if not exactly the way I dreamt it. But those memories... I want to see them again, especially the ones from before the blog, that I no longer remember that well.

19. Attend your TC’s wedding with someone else or move across the world from your TC and having to say goodbye? 

Move across the world. I don't think my heart could take a wedding.

20. Listen your TC’s playlist with them or go on a movie marathon of their favorite movies with them? 

I love music, and music happens to say a lot about who a person is, so I think I'd just jam with her. I'm the worst person to watch movies with. I comment on EVERYTHING.

Thank you so much for the tag, @baritonetcc , it was a nice way to start the morning and I'm glad you thought of me! I'm tagging @justanother-tcblog , @heismyhistoryteacher and @lovestruck-tc , because you (Violet) seem new here, and it might help you start out a bit more! And, of course, everyone who wants to steal it and do it themselves!

Much love, stay safe, demand justice where it's due and see you again when I type up the other half of my next post!

~ S ♡

[imamotherfuckingstar-lord]

The Cloud

Sam Wilson x Reader, angst

A/N: possibility of part two in the far future.

Summary: Your abilities allow you to look back at memories

It felt like being in a movie theater; having the entire place to yourself on a weekday afternoon. Popcorn in hand, soda in the cup holder, the air condition making the entire place cold. It was a lot like watching a movie, except the movie wasn’t the latest from Hollywood.

It was your life.

Sometimes the film was crisp, the best of the best screen, felt like you were right there in the mix of it all. But most times it was like an old film reel from the 70’s. It was sadder that way, you figured you deserved that much.

So, you sat there, with your stale popcorn and flat soda, watching as Sam walked around the apartment.

He was wearing black sweats and a gray tee, holding a moving box.

“Moving day,” you smiled, tossing a piece of popcorn into your mouth. “This was a good day.”

Sam was calling you to the living room, asking where you wanted him to put the box.

“What is it labelled, Sam?”

He turned the box around in his hand. “Kitchen Crap.”

Coming from the hall, you stared blankly at him. “I wonder where that would go.”

Sam grinned, rolling his eyes as he made his way to the kitchen. “Don’t give me that annoyed look, this was your idea, remember?”

“My idea!”

“Yes,” he called over his shoulder, setting the box down on the kitchen counter. He turned to face you, hands crossed against his chest. “You claimed my place was bigger than yours. So, you wanted to move in.”

Again, you stared at the man in disbelief. “YOU asked ME to marry YOU.”

“And YOU said YES,” he argued back, holding back a smile,

The two of you glared at each other, hoping the other would fold until Sam couldn’t take it and he laughed, opening his arms wide.

“Come here, baby.”

You grinned and walked into his arms, letting him hold you tight his body. He started to sway you back and forth, rubbing your back gently.

“Damn, I’m glad you said yes.”

“Me too, because your apartment is way bigger than mine.”

Tears fell down your face as you watched Sam and you kiss, the two of you laughing and messing around when things had to be done. It was always like that, didn’t matter where the two of you were – he always knew how to make you smile and laugh. Sam knew you so well, sometimes he loved to just piss you off because he claimed you looked cute when you were mad. On missions, he was your number one cheerleader, his favorite catchphrase was, “Hell, yeah. That’s my baby right there!”.

He was your everything and you had failed him, you had failed them all.

Thanos won.

Sam was gone.

You were alone.

The movie paused, and you slumped down into the seat until a voice called you to. It sounded like it was coming from somewhere far and you knew it was time to go. Sighing, you looked up at the screen.

Sam was smiling at you.

“I’ll see you later, baby.”

Closing your eyes, you counted to ten.

….

Steve sat at the edge of you bed, waiting anxiously – he never knew if you would come back. Sometimes he feared you’d stay inside and he’d be down another friend, another person he loved. You had offered to take him a few times, to whatever place your powers allowed you to go, but he always declined. He didn’t want to relive things, he wanted to fix them. He sighed and reached down for your hand, because you taught him that touch always made you come back faster.

He whispered you name. “Come back, you have to come back.”

Watching for any movement, his eyes started to cave in to his feelings. “Come on, you have to come back. We need you. I need you.”

You didn’t move, so he squeezed your hand tighter. “Y/N…wake up.”

“Wake up!”

His own voice shocked him, but when you opened your eyes, Steve felt relieved.

You stared at him for a few seconds, almost lost in trance until you squeezed your palm against his. “How long was I gone? It felt like a few minutes…”

“It’s been about two hours.”

“Jesus, time really does suck when I’m in the Cloud.”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed, and you smiled. “Get it? The Cloud? All my memories are in the cloud? I can literally go into – you know what? Never mind.”

He gave you a sympathetic smile and released your hand. “Scott is here.”

“Lang is here?”

“Yeah, and he thinks he’s got a way to fix everything.”

You sat up, heart beating a mile a minute. “I can get Sam back?”

Steve nodded. “We can get them all back.”

Leaning forward, you hugged the man tightly. He had been your rock since Sam disappeared two years ago, half the damn world just turned to dust, leaving the rest of you behind – lost and broke. But now there might be a way to fix it all and you would do anything to bring back Sam.

Pulling from Steve, you smiled at him. “What the hell are we waiting for?”

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[katie-dub]

The Masks We Wear (10/?)

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9

AO3

Thanks as ever to @apromisednightcap my beta, my hero, the Q to my James Bond.

So a bunch of lovely people have made me art - @justanotherwannabeclassic made this gorgeous aesthetic, @ofshipsandswans made this stunning aesthetic, and @wingedlioness made this amazing manip. All artwork can be found on my blog tagged #tmww art - you should check it all out and show these amazing people some love for their talent. I’m so incredibly touched.

Killian and Emma are colleagues, friends and they’re madly in love with each other. If only they could work out that their feelings are totally requited. But then, if they still haven’t figured out that they work together as superheroes in their spare time, there’s probably no hope for them. Probably.

Previously on The Masks We Wear...

Emma AKA The Saviour has learned the truth about Killian AKA Hook AKA The Survivor’s alter ego and rescued him from Gold’s clutches, but when the time came to reveal her own secret identity, her anxiety took over and she kept her silence. Having just barely survived his encounter with The Dark One, Killian doesn’t have time to wallow over unrequited revelations - in just three days time his nemesis plans to take over the world.

Of course she'd fallen so hard for The Survivor, she was already in love with him.

“I’m so glad that Gold didn’t kill you.”

He didn’t deserve The Saviour’s secrets, and he certainly didn’t deserve her love.

“Belle, you need to assemble the Nevengers. We’re running out of time to save the world.”

Killian hated reliving his ordeal even for long enough to share what he'd learned with Belle. He talked fast to get it all out as quickly as possible, finding that it did feel a little good to not have the thoughts of Regina's enslavement, Gold's plan and his sincere wish to see Killian suffer rattling around his brain.

“I should have known my past mistakes would come back to haunt me,” he said wryly when he was done.

Belle smiled at him kindly and reached out a hand to give his a squeeze. “Loving Milah was not a mistake, don't ever apologise for having love in your heart.”

He bit back a reply asking if that's what she told herself about Gold - the sad, sympathetic look she was giving him made it clear that she did.

The silence between them was long and heavy, both lost in their contemplations of how something that should be so beautiful and pure had come to this. It was Belle who came around first. “You know we need to alert the others, we can't wait around for Gold to do his worst.”

“Aye.” Killian nodded his agreement. “What should we do about Regina? This may not be her fault, but we can't get her involved if she's still being forced to be Gold’s Evil Queen puppet.”

“True - and we really need her knowledge and skills to help our cause. What we know about Gold is surely horribly out of date.” Belle chewed her lip thoughtfully. “There's something we can try. I've been working on a prototype of a machine to counteract the Dagger’s effects using blueprint that we have. If we can get her here -”

“We can break the spell! Belle, you're a genius!”

“You only just working that out?” Belle teased, “and I thought you were smart.”

Killian quirked a brow at her snark in the face of impending disaster. It was a tactic that was all too familiar to him, a mask to hide the fear. “We can't all be as clever as you, love,” he shot back. “That's why we're all happy to have you to think up promising plans on our behalf.”

“Kiss ass.” Belle rolled her eyes but looked grateful for the support nonetheless. “We can tell Regina to arrive early and try it on her then. We’ll need to move her into the holding room in case it doesn’t work - can’t have her poofing out of here and telling Gold our plans.” She looked at him appraisingly. “You should stay out of the way too - until we know his hold over her is gone she can’t know that we’ve rescued you.”

“I think Gold is aware of that by now.”

“But he doesn’t know exactly where you are. The less he knows, the better. In fact -” she frowned and cocked her head, studying him “- you may be best off staying here until we’ve dealt with him.”

His hackles were up instantly. He’d never been one to hide from danger, preferring to confront it head on, his personal safety be damned. (It’s not like he had much to fear in that respect, his powers being what they were.) And now, so soon after he had spent days shackled to a table - she clearly wasn’t thinking about what she was saying. He clenched his jaw in a studied effort to keep from screaming at his friend. “You want me to exchange one prison for another? Forgive me if I’d prefer freedom.”

“Even if it means death?” Belle asked pointedly, raising her eyebrows at him.

“Well that’s hardly likely,” was his defiant answer. “Don’t you remember who I am?”

She huffed out a sigh, closing her eyes in a gesture he knew to mean she was searching for some inner strength. “Killian, I know that Gold wishes you dead, and what Gold wants, he usually gets. I’m saying that it would be prudent - in the interests of your safety - and of those you love to be discreet. I don’t plan to tie you up.”

Right. Those he loved. The Saviour. Emma. She might be hurt if Gold thought she was the best way to get to him - especially now that he had been unmasked. He nodded, placated, and looked at Belle with a cheeky grin. “Not even in the good way?”

Belle sighed deeply. “I’ll call in the troops, you should get some rest.”

“Aye, I’ll have a shower, wash off the just been tortured feeling.”

“Killian -” she began, looking alarmed and overwhelmingly sympathetic. “It’s fine, love,” he cut her off, “just a little gallows humour. I’m fine.”

He really wasn’t fine.

He felt grimy inside and out, his skin was coated in a layer of dried blood, drool and other questionable fluids. It felt good to wash, but it was as though the dirt had worked its way deeper, burrowing into his pores, crawling beneath his skin. He could wash forever and he might never be free of the feeling of Gold torturing him, the manic delight in his eyes would forever be imprinted on his brain.

His eyes burned, his head pounded and the world seemed to swim in and out of focus after days of little to no sleep. He remembered how his subconscious had brought Emma and The Saviour to his side in the brief moments when he could sleep. He smiled to himself - they were both with him, comforting him, protecting his soul, saving him from madness. Almost. He had thought he really had seen Emma standing before him, horror struck, before Gold’s torture wrenched screams from his throat and drove the hallucination from his sight. It was what made it so hard for him to believe that The Saviour had really come to his rescue when she appeared; although his faith in her was deep - he certainly had more for her than  for himself - his mind had been playing cruel tricks on him.

He sighed, locked away the painful memories, and focused on the feeling of the hot water pounding on his skin.

He lost track of time under the spray. The hot water couldn't truly cure his troubles but it did ease them somewhat. When he finally switched the shower off, he felt refreshed, and able to face his superhero duties again, however much his head still spun with exhaustion.

He dressed in a tshirt and sweats that he kept stashed in a locker at the base for training in, relishing the feeling of the soft, warm fleece against his skin. Feeling somewhat human again he made his way towards the control room in search of Belle. He needed to move quickly to end things with Gold for good if they stood any chance of succeeding - if he stood any chance of making it through the encounter unscathed.

He was just about to step into the room when a voice made him stop; was Regina already in there?

Cautiously he peered around the doorway and saw Regina chatting to The Saviour and Belle. The Saviour caught sight of him and her eyes went wide with horror for a split second before she regained her mask of composure.

Right, they hadn’t solved the Regina Problem yet.

He backed away, treading softly to ensure that he wasn’t heard, and went in the direction of the break room.  He should probably try to get some sleep but he was buzzing and he was on edge. He needed to punch something - ideally some bad guy, ideally in person - but as that wasn’t really an option while he was confined to HQ, he’d settle for doing some damage in a video game.

Perhaps Henry would join him, although he was sure the kid should be in bed. (And yeah, technically he wasn’t a child and he was more than capable of his superhero duties, but the lad was only 16, he wasn’t sure it was fair to place the weight of saving the world on his shoulders, however useful they might find his abilities. He just had to wonder at the parents who would allow their teenager to engage in such dangerous missions - or simply failed to notice his absence - he wasn’t entirely sure which was worse. Something about his time in Gold’s lab had brought back painful memories of a childhood as an orphan and being made to grow up too fast and dammit if he didn’t hate that Henry was going through that now himself.)

“Sup, Survivor?” He’d gotten lost in his thoughts, not even noticing that he’d made it to the break room already and sure enough he found Henry there. “Or should I say Killian?”

Killian started, unused to hearing his real name coming from Henry. He blinked at him. “What?”

“The Saviour mentioned that might be your real name? Sorry. Um, is that still a secret? I mean you’re unmasked now anyway so I figured - fuck, I’m making a mess of this.”

He laughed at Henry in spite of himself. “It’s ok, nice to meet you Henry, I’m Killian.” He stuck his hand out for Henry to shake.

Henry breathed a deep sigh of relief and shook his hand. “So you know The Saviour in real life? Crazy, huh?”

“Did she happen to mention how?” he tried to sound casual, but if the look on Henry's face was anything to go by, it hadn't worked. He wasn't sure if an expression could actually be sarcastic, but if so, Henry's was absolutely sarcastic, not to mention confused.

“You mean you don't know?” he said. Killian tried not to huff, The Saviour was a superhero, she was good at disguises, just like he was. Their real lives depended on it. Henry started to laugh. “Wow - you really don't, do you? How is that fucking possible - I actually thought you were smart?”

“I came here looking for something to punch - figured we could play some Bayonetta, but if you're volunteering…” He smiled at Henry, with the faintest glimmer of a threat in his eyes. Henry held his hands up in defeat, then grabbed Killian's controller and tossed it at him.

“Killian, are you seeing anyone?”

“Hmmm?”

“Do you have a girlfriend?”

He stared at Henry, confused by the change in subject. “What? Uh- um. No. Why do you ask?”

“It's just The Saviour she -” he looked like he was struggling to find the right words. “Well, she seems like she really, like maybe -”

Killian was utterly lost. “Maybe what, mate?”

“I thought maybe you were together. I don't know. I don't know what I'm talking about.”

“What? No. I -” Killian stopped. He was bewildered by this line of questioning and found himself wondering once again who The Saviour was to him. But that brought to mind the moment in the hospital bay when she failed to tell him her real identity. She didn't trust him and it hurt too much to wonder why. Instead he tried to deflect the conversation. “I just find that girlfriends don't really mix well with superhero duties.”

“Really? I've never thought that.”

“And what would you know? You aren't using your superhero status to impress the ladies are you?”

“No, who'd do that?” Henry shook his head at the suggestion, his expression so world weary that Killian had to stifle a laugh. “I do have a girlfriend though.”

“Oh yeah? I like the sound of this already.” He smirked at Henry, who rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, Violet.” He glanced over at Killian then shrugged. “She's cool, maybe we don’t have some kind of fairytale romance like Snow and David have going on, but who does?” He had a slightly dreamy, faraway look in his eye. Killian always liked it when Henry showed his romantic side, even if he usually tried to cover it up with layers of swearing and sarcasm. But the glimpses he did catch in between the teen angst made it clear why Henry had the power to make anyone believe.

“Weren’t we talking about your love life? I’m sure you’re deflecting here.”

“Henry, I -” he stopped. He didn’t know what to say. “The Saviour could have told me who she is, but she hasn’t. She doesn’t want me to know. Clearly I’m not a person she wants to be involved with.”

“That’s a bit of a leap, man. Can you say Extra?”

“I don’t know what you mean,” he huffed.

“Not everything is about you. Perhaps she’s not someone you would want to be involved with -” Killian opened his mouth to argue “- or she thinks she’s not.”

“She’s far too good for me. Whoever she is.”

Henry sighed. “You’re both as bad as each other.” He turned back to the game and muttered something that sounded suspiciously like “I should make you both believe in yourselves.”

Killian didn’t really know what more to say. The thought that The Saviour might think herself somehow as unworthy of him didn’t compute. She was a goddess amongst men. He was too tired to try to analyse this most bizarre of thoughts. Instead he focused on gaming, letting the bright lights and colours fill his mind and overtake his senses.

“Guys?” Killian blinked up at Belle in confusion, unclear how long he’d been lost in the flow of the game. “You ready to talk saving the world? Everyone’s here.”

“Everyone?” he asked, meaningfully. Belle nodded. Regina was back on their side.

When they made it to the control room everyone was milling around the room. His eyes rested on The Saviour who looked unhappy and agitated - he tried to catch her eye and give her a reassuring smile, but she wouldn’t meet his eyes. It felt like a knife to his heart. Despite what Henry might believe, he was certain that he was the problem in their - well, in whatever their relationship was.

What an idiot he was - in love with two women - one whom he shouldn’t date for her safety and one who wouldn’t want to date him.

“Hook - I mean Jones.” Regina’s voice dragged his attention away from his wallowing. She looked deeply uncomfortable, arms folded across her chest and perfectly manicured nails drumming against her forearms.

“Yes?”

“I want to apologise to you for - well, for leading you into that trap. I -”

Killian saw a flash of the lab he’d been tortured in. He felt the restraints on his wrists and ankles, the terror in his bones, the agony of every experiment. They made him dizzy. He squeezed his eyes to shut out the memories.

“Please don’t, Regina.” He cut her off. And while partly it was out of kindness, knowing her to be blameless, he also couldn’t bear to think of those awful few days. “I know that you weren’t in control of your actions.”

“Still I hate to think of you -”

“Then don’t. Really.” He plastered on a falsely cheerful grin, desperate to change the subject. “So, what are the chances that two superheroes were working together without ever realising it?”

Regina laughed taking his bait with relief. “I should have guessed it was you the moment we first met, Jones. No one else could be that cocky.”

“Oh please, I’m a master of disguise and I’m very humble in my normal life. It’s one of my best qualities.” He winked at her and she rolled her eyes.

Regina groaned, apparently coming to a realisation. “That night you persuaded me to join the Nevengers, I said Killian was - that you were - Emma's boyfriend. I don't appreciate being treated like a fool,” she huffed.

“If the horribly overpriced designer heel fits…” he said, trailing off under Regina’s cold glare. He rubbed his brow and pinched his nose while he reconsidered his mockery. “My apologies, lass, but I was not mocking you then: Emma and I are just good friends.”

“Don't be a, what would you say? a bloody fool, you two aren't just anything.”

“You ever considered a career as a couple's therapist?”

“Listen to me or not, I don't care, Jones, just make sure this little “will they, won't they,” love triangle soap opera bullshit you have with Emma and The Saviour doesn't interfere with the mission, OK?”

“You always were so supportive, Regina, you know that?”

“Regina, Killian, are you ready to talk business? This is kind of important.” He couldn’t help but feel relieved at Belle’s interruption. This was the second uncomfortable discussion about his relationship status that he’d had today - he was more than a little tired at his fellow superheroes’ insistence on putting his love life under the microscope. It was hardly the time or place.

As he joined the Nevengers at their table he realised with alarm that The Saviour might have overheard his conversation with Regina. He looked over to her but she was studiously ignoring him. It was hard to be sure if she had heard him as it was no more than she'd been doing since he stepped foot in the room. He frowned hard and tried not to brood on dark thoughts of how unworthy he was of her.

Killian struggled to concentrate throughout the serious planning discussions that took place around him. Regina was able to volunteer as much - if not more - information than he had so he was able to largely sit and let his mind wander. He caught the general gist of things: they needed to act fast so the decision was made to strike tomorrow, they had devised a plan that should spell the end for Gold. He didn’t overly care about the fine details at this point.

One point did make him sit up and take note - Henry was going to have to head into the field. He had been fiddling on his laptop and declared that whatever back door he had used to shutdown the force field that interrupted their powers had been locked tight. Their only chance was for Henry to enter the building and work on the computer system directly.

Killian was instantly on alert. Henry felt like the little brother he’d never had and while he’d always been involved in their superhero activities, he’d never had to enter the fray like this, always able to help them out behind the scenes.

Killian sat up straight. “Is that wise?” “I don’t know, kid.” “That’s far too dangerous!” He, The Saviour and Regina had all spoken at once. Henry rolled his eyes at their overprotective defence of him.

“Look, if we’re going to take Gold out, you need your powers. We only have two cuffs. What else can we do?”

“I can protect Henry,” David spoke up. “I don’t need my powers to defend us both, and when he gets that shield down he’ll have twice as many bodyguards. Regina, if you keep your cuff and Henry takes Killian’s you can poof us into their computer rooms right?”

“See? It’ll be fine.” Henry said.

Killian sighed and looked over at The Saviour and Regina. Neither of them looked any more comfortable than he did, but still it was the only way. He hated it though. He wondered if this was how Liam used to feel watching him enter fighting pits: desperate to protect him, but powerless to do anything.

Oh God. Thinking of Liam and how he’d been sent to his death by Gold did little to assuage his fears at this time. Henry was not Liam. He knew the challenges that he was facing. He would have David with him. He would be ok.

He had to be ok, or Killian would kill Gold and make The Saviour bring him back to life so he could kill him all over again.

When everything was finally decided for the next day, he stood up to leave when Belle stopped him, looking awkward. “I still don’t know about you leaving here today, Killian.”

He blinked at her in surprise. “I'm not sleeping here tonight,” he said bluntly. He wouldn't explain himself, didn't want to share his trauma with the group, but the sterile hospital bay felt just a little too much like Gold’s lab for comfort. He gazed at Belle defiantly, challenging her to disagree with him.

“I'll poof you out.”

It took a moment for The Saviour's words to register. He looked at her curiously. “Come again?”

“I can - I can poof you out.” She quickly looked away from him and turned to Belle. “You're worried about him being seen? If I take TS home -” Killian noted curiously that she didn’t use his real name, despite clearly knowing it “- he won't be. Can do a few spells to keep him safe and I'll bring him back here in the morning.” She looked from him to Belle and shrugged.

“If you wanted to spend the night in my bed, you only have to ask. I'm sure we'll need to use - I mean, I need to have, protection.” She rolled her eyes but kept her eyes locked on Belle, while he poked his tongue in his cheek suggestively.

“Whatever, I'll do the spells and run.”

A dozen more flirty taunts ran through his mind, but she still wasn’t looking at him and he was tired. Too tired for it all.

“Well? Can I be released? I'm sure if Gold really wants me dead it won't matter where I sleep.”

Belle frowned at his poor attempt at humour. “Fine, but seriously, let The Saviour protect you, okay?”

He turned to The Saviour. “Come now, love, my life is in your hands.” He meant it as a casual comment, but it felt far too close to the truth.

She took his hand in hers, a cloud of smoke surrounded them, and when it cleared they were in his apartment.

He expected her to let go of him at once, but she lingered, her fingers gently stroking his hand before she parted from him with a sigh.

“I'll just -” she motioned around vaguely “- set up some protection spells.”

“Thanks. And I'll... I'll be in my room. Checking my phone. Seeing if I was missed.” A curious expression flashed across The Saviour's face. His heart clenched, had he just insulted her by suggesting that she hadn't missed him? But, it wasn't as though they saw each other every day. In fact, how had she known to come looking for him?

He stepped inside and looked around curiously. Someone had been here. Or had he left the room in a mess? It wasn't like him to do that but he'd had a lot on his mind the day he left on his ill-fated mission. His bed was unmade and his closet open. Clothes had been roughly pushed to one side and his secret compartment was open. This was incredibly careless. Had he really left his secrets exposed like this? He shook his head, he was exhausted and not thinking straight. That was all that was happening here. It must be. Surely.

He took his phone from out of his bedside table and switched it on, busying himself with straightening up the room while it started up. It buzzed right off the table with the alerts of missed calls and texts. Only one of each from Emma.

“Thanks for telling me about your last minute vacation. I hope that you’re enjoying yourself.”

He read Emma's message several times, until it clicked that Regina had probably been forced to explain away his absence. He clenched his jaw in frustration. He'd been suffering and she'd believed him to be sunning himself in a beach somewhere? That hurt.

“Um, TS?” He looked up as The Saviour peered around his door. “I'm finished. I should probably go.”

I'd feel safer if you stayed. He longed to tell her. Hell, why not go full on cheesy romance novel while he was at it? Let's tear off the masks we wear, and let our hearts beat as one as we make passionate love.

Yeah, no. That wasn't going to happen. She continued to hide herself from him and however much that hurt, he had to accept her decision. What exactly was he thinking might happen? That they'd cosy up on the couch with her in full superhero gear? That she'd happily curl up in bed with him with her face still concealed? It was absurd and yet he wanted her with him.

“Thanks.” He felt awkward and desperate for her to stay. He switched to an old tactic - beating down his feelings with innuendo. “If you'd like to stay the night I'll be sure to show you how grateful I am.” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

“Yeah, right,” she said dismissively, giving him a forced smile.

“I might need protecting in bed. Is leaving a risk you're willing to take?”

“Goodnight, Survivor.” She disappeared in a cloud of smoke and he was left alone wishing desperately that he could tell her how much he really wanted her. He may have been unmasked but he was still disguising himself around her.

Considering how tired he was, sleep should have come easily. He knew that he needed to be on top form to live through a confrontation with Gold. But the memories of his days of torture were there every time he closed his eyes. Late into the night he tossed and turned, consumed by anxiety.

The beast took such pleasure from his pain that despite the cavalier attitude that he maintained with the Nevengers, he was nervous about his fate. He didn't want to get lost in such worries, but Gold’s vindictiveness was limitless and he had escaped from him. He shuddered to think what might happen if he fell into Gold’s clutches again.

He tried to force thoughts of his ordeal from his mind. When that didn't work he remembered the moments when he felt like Emma was with him.

Emma.

He'd say she must be worried sick, but, no, she thought he'd disappeared on a trip. He couldn't blame her for that, Regina could be very convincing and she was used to being abandoned.

A terrible thought struck him. If something were to happen to him, he would be just another name on the list of people who abandoned her.

He had to talk to her, she had to know his secrets before their mission, she had to know that he wouldn't leave willingly.

He almost lept to his feet in his eagerness to confess. Perhaps if he told her, she would permit him to hold her tonight and draw comfort from her presence. He might actually get the sleep he so desperately needed. But it was too early to bother her for his own selfish reasons and deep down he knew that if he woke up with her in his arms he wouldn't ever let her go. He'd happily let the world burn if she consented to be his. She deserved better, The Saviour had taught him better.

No, he would call her tomorrow, before their mission. Perhaps the conversation would be better in person, but respect for The Saviour’s protection - and the certainty that he wouldn't be strong enough to leave Emma if he saw her - meant a phone call would have to suffice. If he were to be captured again, at least she would truly know how much he had cared.

With the decision made he was able to fall asleep, dreaming of holding Emma close at last.

He checked his watch, not long until The Saviour came to collect him. He really hadn’t meant to leave this until the last minute, but he’d overslept. He scrubbed his hand through his hair in distress. Maybe telling her now, over the phone, when he had so little time to talk wasn’t the best plan.

But when he considered the possibility that he may end the day back in Gold’s lab - or worse - he knew he had to make the call.

He picked up his phone and hit Emma's number. He gathered his courage as the phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Morning, Swan. Did you miss me?” He winced at his own forced bravado.

“I. Um. I...”

His heart fell at her spluttering. “Oh, I see, didn't even notice I was gone?”

“No! I noticed! I…”

He closed his eyes, what was he teasing her for? It wasn't fair and he didn't have time for it. “You know, that doesn't really matter. I called to explain where I've been.”

“You weren't on vacation?” There was a strange note to her voice that he couldn't explain.

“No. You see, I'm - I'm Hook, or The Survivor, depending on who you ask.” He paused to see if she would react but was met with nothing but silence. “I know it's a lot to take in, but I didn't abandon you, Emma. I was. Well. I was captured. I would never deliberately leave you without a word, I couldn't do that to you. I know you're good at knowing when someone is lying to you, so please believe me.”

His words came out in a rush and he was tense, waiting for her verdict.

“I do. Believe you, that is.”

He let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you -”

“Why are you telling me now?”

“I'm off to save the world, it's a dangerous job. I'm sure you understand.”

“Yeah, but. Don't you do that a lot?”

“Been keeping up on my alter ego's exploits? You're not a superhero groupie, are you? I remember the time I caught you reading that magazine article about me.”

He could practically hear her roll her eyes. “I just want to know why this time is different.”

Because I'm scared. Because I could save the world but lose you. Because I don't know what Gold will do to me this time. “I just want to be honest with you.”

“Well I -” Killian's Nevengers phone beeped. Right, showtime.

“Sorry to cut you off, but I have to go. We can talk when I'm back.”

“OK…” He was about to hang up when he heard a small “Killian?”

“Yeah?”

“Don't disappear again.”

“As you wish,” he replied with a chuckle. If only it were that easy.

“I mean it, come back to me.”

His eyes softened at the sincere request. He wished that he were with her, he wanted to kiss her so badly. After. He'd kiss her when he returned with no secrets and no lies between them. “Of course, Swan, you don't need to fret, I'm The Survivor.”

“Good,” she said simply and hung up.

He stared at his phone for a minute, stunned by how easy that had been. God, why hadn't he just told her sooner? He turned off his phone and slid it into his bedside table, his first mission of the day completed.

Now all that was left was saving the world.

***

Emma slumped into a couch in HQ, she was exhausted and should really go to bed. But she was too wired to do that, and suspected it would be a long time before she'd be able to stop fidgeting.

At very least, she needed to stay for long enough to know if Killian was alright. There was no chance that she could relax as long as she had the thought that he might still be in pain niggling away at her.

“You did good, Saviour.” She turned to see Henry dropping down beside her and gave him an unsure smile. “Seriously. You saved your man, you can sleep now.”

“He's not my man.” Her reply was automatic, but the words made her heart clench painfully. She hated how true that was.

“Right,” Henry chuckled, “so we're just going to pretend that you don't have to just say the word and you'd be together? It’s a choice. Not one I’d go with, but it’s a choice.”

Emma barely registered his words, drumming her hand against the couch beside her. Sparks flew as she hit the surface harder and harder. She didn't even notice until Henry put his hand over hers. She looked up at him, feeling a wave of guilt as she noticed the grimace that crossed his face. She'd hurt him and she felt like a monster.

“I'm sorry, Henry!” she blurted out.

“It's nothing.” She frowned at him, highly skeptical that that could be true. “What's wrong, Saviour?”

“You really think he's going to be OK? Killian - I mean, TS?”

He shrugged. “Sure, he's invulnerable, isn't he?”

“Yeah.” She chewed on her lip.

“What’s bothering you?”

“Gold can block powers, can’t he? Or take them away altogether? What if he does that to Killian?”

“I have something to say that you maybe aren’t going to want to hear.” Emma looked at him. “Gold had The Survivor - or did you say his name’s Killian?”

“Yeah.”

“Right, he had Killian for three days. Three days. He could have easily done all those things you just mentioned in that time, but he didn’t. I think Gold needs him alive for some reason.”

“But he could still hurt him!”

“He could. And if he does, you’ll save him. That’s what you do, right?”

“I guess.”

“Hey, stop that. What do they call you?”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously. What do they call you?”

“The Saviour.”

“And why do they call you that?”

“I told them I’d wipe them all out with my powers if they didn’t.” He cocked his head at her and quirked a brow. “They nailed me to a cross.” He sighed. “OK, because I save people.”

“Right, so it turns out that The Survivor, who you have some kind of weird romantic thing with, is this guy Killian, who also seems to be special to you, and you expect me to believe that you wouldn’t march right down into the underworld itself if that’s what it would take to save him? Come on, have a little faith in yourself.”

She was about to answer when Belle’s voice rang out over her phone. “Saviour, can you meet me in the hospital bay?”

“Sure thing.” She smiled at Henry. “Thanks for the pep talk it, er, it helped.”

She poofed herself into the hospital bay and was confronted by the sight of Belle with bloody sheets in her arms.

She closed her eyes in disgust, that was his blood. Killian’s blood. Killian's blood had painted the sheets crimson. God, how much had he been through?

“Deep breath, Saviour. You're glowing.” Emma opened her eyes and was surprised to find Belle stood before her. The sheets had vanished and she had her hands on Emma's shoulders. She watched her intently.

Emma could see herself surrounded by a near-blinding aura reflected in Belle’s eyes. She worked on breathing in and out, noticing as the light dimmed and eventually disappeared entirely.

“Killian's OK.” Emma's scepticism must have been written all over her face. “I can give you the full medical prognosis if you like?”

“Wow, you're a doctor too?”

“Well, I read a book.” She shrugged like it was no big deal. “I absorb skills from them remember?”

Emma shook her head, smiling. “How are you not running the world?”

“Patriarchy.”

“You and Beyoncé will fix that soon I'm sure. So, what did you want?”

“The Survivor explained The Dark One's plan -”

“How does he know it?”

“He was monologuing.” Belle rolled her eyes. “Classic super villain crap. Anyway we need to act fast and we need Regina fighting for us again -”

“But she's under his control.”

“I've created a device that should be able to counteract the effects of the Dagger, the A.C.E. -”

“Ace?” Emma pulled a face at the stupidity of the name.

“Anti Control Equipment?” Belle shrugged, looking a little sheepish. “The name doesn’t matter. Until we know if it's worked we'll have to play it safe - treat Regina with caution and keep her away from Killian.”

Emma's skin crawled at this mention of Killian her magic writhing in alarm.

“Wait, you think she'd hurt Killian? But.. but.. why would she do that? She couldn't do that, right?”

“Hopefully not, but I don't like to assume - Gold always had it in for Killian and now that he's escaped.. Well, best case scenario she takes him back to Gold.”

“And what's the worst?”

Belle couldn't look her in the eye. “Well, she - she kills him for Gold.”

Emma looked stunned at the thought. “But she can't do that, right? I mean he's - he can't be killed, right?”

“It's not a risk I'm willing to take.” Belle looked grim and Emma's heart beat wildly at the thought. Belle looked down at Emma's hand and she was surprised to note that her skin was glowing. But then, she shouldn't have been surprised, her magic always threatened to revolt when Killian's safety came into question. When she looked back up to Belle’s eyes she was watching Emma cautiously, but shook herself and got straight back to business. “The plan is that we tell her that we need to run tests using a holding cell to work out if I can counteract the forcefield on Gold’s base with a device I've made. We know it’s actually the A.C.E. and that it should actually break Gold’s power over her… Well, that's the idea anyway."

Emma tried to keep her breathing steady to avoid completely losing her cool. She didn't really understand what she had to do with this plan. "What do you need me for Belle?" she asked as evenly as she could muster.

"We tell Regina that I'll run tests on both of you but really you're there to back me up. If anything does go wrong I'm going to need your help."

Emma thought of Killian lying on that table. She knew it wasn't actually Regina's fault; that she had been a weapon that Gold had wielded against them; that she was likely to be as angry as them all - if not more so after being used as a puppet. But still, she had years of suffering at Regina's hands in the office and off clearing up the Evil Queen's messes, it was hard not to let the weight of that get to her. She thought of all the times Regina had told her off in her dismissive and icy way - the one that made it clear that she didn't think Emma was worthy of her time - and she felt the rage bubbling up inside.

“You're happy for me to do whatever it takes to stop her if she goes all Evil Queen on us?”

“Saviour, I'm counting on it.”

“Great so when are w-” Emma broke off as the room filled with purple smoke that surely signalled Regina's impending arrival. Belle’s eyes widened in alarm. If she was here early it could only mean one thing: Gold had sent her.

The sudden fear in Emma joined forces with her anger, leaving her itching for a fight.

The mist around her was thinning and it was clear that Regina had come alone, if she had come for a fight she would have brought her minions. Gold clearly needed her to play double agent - so she needed to think everything was well.

Emma took a quiet, calming breath, soothing her magic even as it hissed with rage at the unwelcome sight.

“Regina! I was just about to call you,” Belle said with a smile. “I have great news: I have invented a device, the A.C.E. -” Regina raised her eyebrows at the name, Emma had to cough to suppress a laugh. Belle ignored both of them.  “- that will allow us to keep our powers in any conditions. It'll mean that we can all infiltrate Gold’s HQ instead of just you and The Survivor when we have a second run at that mission.”

“I'm glad to see that you have found something useful to do.”

Emma frowned at Regina. Even when she was supposed to be on their side she still found a way to undermine her fellow superheroes. Who hurt you? she found herself wondering - not for the first time.

“I'd like your help running some tests on the A.C.E..” Belle carried on as if Regina hadn't been an insulting mix of patronising and dismissive. Emma marvelled at her ability to stay calm in the face of such a slight. “Regina, I'd like you to transport the two of us to our holding cell, Emma, you come alone. You shouldn't be able to get in assuming that the forcefield is working correctly.”

“Are you testing me, bookworm?”

“Merely checking that our defences are working so we know for sure whether the A.C.E. has worked or if our forcefield was just down.” Belle’s tone was still polite but her clenched jaw betrayed her irritation with Regina.

“Fine.” Regina took Belle’s hand and they vanished in a cloud of purple smoke.

Emma sighed with relief, she had taken the bait. She closed her eyes and attempted to poof herself to the cell. She had the strange feeling of knocking into something hard, she bounced off it and landed in a heap on the floor. She looked up, Regina arched a brow at her, but contented herself with shaking her head.

Emma's eyes narrowed and a childish image of using her powers to fly pencils at Regina while she ran away shrieking, her trademark composure gone. She smiled at the thought. Many a brutal dressing down at work had been survived only thanks to such visions.

“Have either of you seen Hook?”

The question brought Emma’s attention back to the here and now - and she was startled to see that Regina was already in the holding cell, with the door shut tight behind her.

“Not since last Tuesday,” said Belle.

“Same.” Emma narrowed her eyes at Regina. So, Gold sent her to find Killian. “Why?”

“Wanted to reschedule our reconnaissance mission after we had to cancel on Wednesday - unless you’d prefer it if we gave up on defeating The Dark One altogether?”

Strange how I can’t tell that’s a lie, Emma thought to herself. Maybe it’s because she doesn’t know she’s lying? Whatever the reason for her failure to detect the lie with Regina in her current state, it made her uneasy. She was too easy to manipulate if her power had loopholes - especially ones that she didn’t even know about.

And people get hurt when your powers fail, hissed the little devil inside who was always there to remind her of her shortcomings. Nothing bad would’ve happened to Killian if your powers worked properly.

“... Shall we get started?” Once again Emma had lost the train of conversation. She was too tired for this. She had to focus on the task at hand - getting Regina back to her usual sassy but helpful self.

“I’m ready,” said Regina in answer to Belle. She had her arms folded across her chest and she looked bored.

Belle took out the A.C.E., it looked just like a sleek retractable pen. Emma grinned, impressed by the old school spy vibe the design gave the A.C.E. “Nice one, Q.”

“Thanks.” Belle grinned, clearly pleased with her handiwork.

“What exactly am I meant to - oh.” While Regina talked, Belle had pointed the A.C.E. at her and clicked the button. Emma watched as her expression transformed from disinterested to confused to downright horrified. “Oh God. Hook. What have I done?” She walked up to the thick glass separating them and looked desperately from Belle to Emma. “Please tell me that he’s OK. I didn’t mean to - I really am trying to change.”

“We know. Gold used the Dagger on you, didn’t he?” Belle asked and she nodded in reply. “The Survivor is recovering.” She looked unconvinced. “He's OK, Regina. I promise.”

“Gold is furious. If I found him here I was to bring him straight back. He's got half his minions out looking for him.”

“You'd better get back to him then - we'll be meeting later to discuss strategy. We need to move quickly. I'll let you know when.”

Regina nodded, flicked her wrist and nothing happened. She looked at her hand in confusion and tried again. Emma smirked, taking childish glee from the sight.

“Regina?” Belle said, “you're in a cell that blocks powers. I'm sorry, but I couldn't risk you being on the loose if the A.C.E. didn't work.”

Regina huffed and walked to the door, Belle hit a button and it sprang open, she stepped outside and with a curt nod to each of them, disappeared.

“So, what now?” Emma asked Belle.

“Tea?”

Emma nodded. “As long as we can just act like I didn't discover Gold doing his crazy scientist routine on my best friend, who bizarrely turns out to be the superhero I fight crime with. I will pay good money to talk about literally anything else.”

Belle laughed. “Don't worry, we don't have to have a deep and meaningful conversation, I'll settle for tea and silence if that's all you want.”

“Then let's do this.”

Emma should really have been paying attention to the mission talk, but she was exhausted, still reeling from the night's revelation and following traumatic events. She contributed and she did take in all the important details: Gold had a very important event the following morning and they should take advantage of his absence to infiltrate his HQ. They just needed to find his Dagger - the original - and then they'd be able to control him. And they were going to use that control to make him use his own weapons against himself and remove his own powers.

So, of course, Henry had deemed the mission Operation Kryptonite.

Speaking of Henry, the news that he was going to have to go into the field with them didn't sit right with her - or Killian or Regina apparently. (She would wonder at the Evil Queen's attachment to Henry, if she didn't know him to be charming, funny and - most importantly - friendly to all - despite the potty mouth.)

She knew that she herself had left home at 16 and was in no position to judge; but a bit of shoplifting and sleeping in a stolen car were hardly as dangerous as going up against the most evil super villain she'd ever encountered. She saw Henry as the brother she never had and the thought of him in danger brought out a maternal side to her that she was surprised to discover she had. Somehow she'd assumed being abandoned at just a few hours old meant any motherly impulses she might have otherwise had were forcibly removed by the trauma. It was nice to know that she was wrong about that.

Still, her nerves over Henry's hands-on involvement were nothing to the dread that filled her when the time came to leave.

“I still don’t know about you leaving here today, Killian.”

Emma's heart clenched at the implications of Belle’s words. She had a sudden vision of Killian strapped to that table - a violent image that was so much worse than any horror her anxiety had conjured up in the months since she'd realised that she loved him and that she had to keep her distance to keep him safe - and almost vomited at the thought.

Protect him, her magic hissed at her, for she knew if anything bad were to happen to him she would surely die herself.

Funny how learning her best friend - the man she loved - was invulnerable had done nothing to ease her anxiety over his safety. If anything, knowing how much danger he was in on a nightly basis compounded that fear, knowing that the snark and swagger of The Survivor was hiding Killian's soft heart filled her with a dreadful sense of foreboding that she could not shake.

Yes, he should stay here where he would be safe. Possibly even in the holding cell where no powers could penetrate. Oh. Of course he didn't want to be locked up again, not even for his own safety.

Especially not for his own safety, Emma thought bitterly.

“I'm not sleeping here tonight.”

“I'll poof you out.” The words were out of her mouth before she had chance to think twice. Yes, if she took him home, she could make sure he was safe. If she didn't, he'd only do something dumb like try to sneak out. Unless they literally locked him in that cell - and tempting though that was, she couldn't trap him like that after what he'd just been through.

She tried not to notice when Killian looked at her with surprise and confusion. “Come again?”

“I can - I can poof you out.” She quickly averted her eyes from him, not trusting herself to not break down over her worry about him, and instead looked at Belle. “You're worried about him being seen? If I take TS home he won't be. Can do a few spells to keep him safe and I'll bring him back here in the morning.”

She glanced at Killian before looking back to Belle with a shrug, trying not to give away how much she wanted to do this. How much she needed to.

“If you wanted to spend the night in my bed, you only have to ask. I'm sure we'll need to use - I mean, I need to have, protection.” She had expected the innuendo, but couldn’t help but roll her eyes all the same. She avoided looking at him so he wouldn’t see how much part of her was longing to take him up on his offer.

If she stayed with him, she would have to tell him who she was and she couldn't do that. She'd come so close to losing him and they weren't even together. No, if she succumbed to her desire he would surely be doomed to die. Even allowing him to get as close to her as he was had clearly been risky.

“Whatever, I'll do the spells and run.”

To her surprise he dropped the innuendo completely. “Well? Can I be released? I'm sure if Gold really wants me dead it won't matter where I sleep.”

“Fine, but seriously, let The Saviour protect you, okay?” Belle replied.

He turned to Emma and held out his hand. “Come now, love, my life is in your hands.”

She reached out and took his hand, poofing them into his apartment in a cloud of pure white magic. She felt the reassuring warmth of his hand in hers, absent-mindedly stroking the back of his hand with her fingers.

When she realised what she was doing she dropped his hand and stepped away from him. Feeling a blush rising in her cheeks at what she’d just done, she briskly moved onto business. “I'll just set up some protection spells.”

“Thanks. And I'll... I'll be in my room. Checking my phone. Seeing if I was missed.”

She winced as the thought of the message he had waiting from her came to mind. She was a little ashamed of how angry she had been with him - and to think he’d been suffering while she’d been sending him snide texts.

She busied herself with casting every protective charm, enchantment and magical barrier she knew. The only way she could be any more certain of his safety would be to spend the night, and that just wasn’t an option.

At last, when she’d reached the limits of her knowledge, she took a deep breath and looked in on Killian in his room.

“Um, TS?” He was holding his phone and looking exhausted and sad. Her heart ached for him in that moment. She wanted to comfort him - but she wasn’t sure if she should. “I'm finished. I should probably go.”

“Thanks. If you'd like to stay the night I'll be sure to show you how grateful I am.” The banter was there, but his delivery was off. He looked hopeless and unhappy - what he really needed was sleep, not an uncomfortable night with her.

“Yeah, right.” She meant to sound breezy - teasing him in their usual way - but the air was heavy with their exhaustion and the weight of saving the world was sitting heavy on her soul.

“I might need protecting in bed. Is leaving a risk you're willing to take?”

She was sure that the note of desperation she thought she heard in his voice was just a projection of her own desires. “Goodnight, Survivor,” she said and poofed into her living room, abruptly ending their conversation before he could persuade her to stay. She longed to go back to him, but a voice inside whispered that she was doing what she needed to do to keep the man she loved safe. She crumpled into a heap on the floor and sobbed.

She spent her night fretting until at some point exhaustion claimed her and she dreamt of being wrapped in Killian’s embrace. When she awoke at last she was surprised to see that he wasn’t there and she found herself feeling terribly alone.

She moved sluggishly, eating pop tarts and drinking coffee in quantities that she knew would make Killian wince if he were here. She tried not to think about the fact that she could be spending the morning with him, if only she were a little braver - or a lot more selfish.

There was just a few minutes to go before she had to collect Killian when her phone rang. She groaned and looked down at it and was surprised to see his face grinning up at her on the screen.

Talk about bad timing - why is he calling when we have to go save the world in a minute?

“Hello?” she asked, utterly confused.

“Morning, Swan. Did you miss me?” It was disconcerting how normal he was being. What on earth was going on?

“I. Um. I...” she stammered, not knowing how to react.

“Oh, I see,” his voice sounded small, “didn't even notice I was gone?”

“No!” Emma blurted out in horror, this was the worst conversation ever and they really didn’t have time for this shit. “I noticed! I…”

“You know, that doesn't really matter,” he cut her off. “I called to explain where I've been.”

Her heart stopped. Was he about to unmask himself to her? Oh God, he was. She felt like an even bigger asshole for not telling him the truth about herself already, but they just didn’t have the time. “You weren't on vacation?” she said, hoping she sounded cool.

“No. You see, I'm - I'm Hook, or The Survivor, depending on who you ask.” Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck! she screamed internally. You have to tell him now, you have to. “I know it's a lot to take in, but I didn't abandon you, Emma. I was. Well. I was captured. I would never deliberately leave you without a word, I couldn't do that to you. I know you're good at knowing when someone is lying to you, so please believe me.”

“I do. Believe you, that is.” because I’m The Saviour. Surprise! God that sounded lame, but she had to tell him. You have to protect him, whispered another voice. She was too confused to handle this right now.

“Thank you -”

She felt irrationally angry at him for springing this on her. “Why are you telling me now?”

“I'm off to save the world, it's a dangerous job. I'm sure you understand.”

“Yeah, but. Don't you do that a lot?” She tried to keep the irritation from her voice. He was her best friend and she should care about him revealing this to her. She was a terrible person.

“Been keeping up on my alter ego's exploits? You're not a superhero groupie, are you? I remember the time I caught you reading that magazine article about me.”

She rolled her eyes - trust him to bring that up at a time like this. “I just want to know why this time is different,” she pressed.

“I just want to be honest with you.”

Fuck.

She had to be brave and do the same. She could be honest with him, this was Killian, her Survivor, her best friend, her love.

“Well I -” her Nevengers phone beeped, sparks crackled from her fingertips as her frustration swelled.

“Sorry to cut you off, but I have to go. We can talk when I'm back.”

“OK…” She knew she couldn’t tell him the truth now, but she couldn’t send him off like that. “Killian?”

“Yeah?”

“Don't disappear again.”

“As you wish,” he replied with a laugh. She could hear the strain to stay confident and upbeat in his voice.

“I mean it, come back to me.”

“Of course, Swan, you don't need to fret, I'm The Survivor.”

“Good.” She hung up and sighed deeply, that was the best she could offer him in that moment. Tears pricked at her eyes as she tried to soothe her emotions, which had been frayed to near breaking point by the conversation.

Her phone continued to beep. She jabbed at it to shut it up. She had a sudden moment of clarity. She knew what she had to do.

She poofed into Killian’s apartment.

“Ready to -” she strode up to him, grabbed him and kissed him, cutting him off mid sentence.

It was brief, but the feel of his lips hot and wet against hers was enough to send her heart racing and make her feel light headed. She was delighted to see that he looked every bit as awestruck as she did.

“For luck,” she breathed. “When all this is over, we really need to talk.”

He nodded, gazing at her in wonder. “Of course.”

She smiled, knowing she’d done the right thing. One look like that from him and she felt ready to conquer the world - and all she had to do was defeat The Dark One.

She took his hand. They were going to save the world. Together.

Thanks for reading guys! If you liked it, why not buy me a coffee?

Here’s some people who’ve asked to be tagged - give me a shout if you do/not want to be included!

@artandteaandstuff @bleebug  @wishbonekarou @nfbagelperson @timeless-love-story @suqarysweet @sammyjo16 @krystalsficpage @the-woman-in-12b @the-fandom-avenger @lenfaz @natascha-remi-ronin @hookaddict @buckle-some-swash @cat-sophia @lepidochelys-kempii @vannawecht @wickedcarrieann @captainswansettingsail @xfalseadvertisingknucleheadsx @oncedreamerhere @a-fictional-life @kmomof4 @teresalisbon @tiganasummertree

[romancevsreality-blog]

the bachelorette, season fourteen, episode one: i have opinions on greek yogurt

So they had to go and start this season by salting the wound of Becca and Arby’s breakup, didn’t they?

Welcome back to Romance vs. Reality, I’m your lead and only blogger, Amanda. Kill me now, we’re here for the fourteenth go-around of La Bachelorette, a carousel made up of social media participants and erectile dysfunction specialists. Our princess this season is Becca Kufrin, a last name I struggle with for no specific reason other than I just feel like I’m emphasizing the wrong syllable. Coming after Rachel, The First Black Bachelorette and Resident Queen Regnant of this blog1, and her, well, disaster of a season, I’m terrified.

I’m going to do a full analysis of our Mantestants later on, but I’ll put it frankly: I am not excited. I am newly single, and man. Pickings are slim out there. It’s dangerous waters, y’all. And I live in a city of like, seven million people. I can understand now why people find the first person they can in high school and piss on their legs for forty years2. Becca, however, dodged a bullet in this case, because Arby remains and always will be human trash. Oscar the Grouch literally lives in a trash can and is looking to get rehomed because of the association, maybe somewhere not on Sesame Street.

Arby’s legacy has impacted Sesame Street. And Oscar the Grouch is notorious for loving trash. I mean... same? But I do not love Arby. Arby is the human embodiment of Garbage Island, the island that is floating in the Pacific Ocean, collecting all of our plastic bottles and general other garbage and polluting our waters. Honestly to call Arby garbage isn’t ruthless enough. It doesn’t get the point across. Even calling him Arby, a restaurant that probably doesn’t deserve such a harsh association, feels cruel.

Arby is rubbish.

I mean, I know a lot of things about myself, but:

And Arby is the Standard of Trash To Which I Now Hold All Men. I will be ranking the men this season on the Rubbish Arby Scale.

Note: I am not even a full minute into the episodea, and I have a lot of feelings.

We have to relive the torturous final moments of Becca and Rubbish Arby’s relationship again, because ABC is basically going to milk this moment for everything it’s worth. We see Becca walking through some snow, searching for her future or whatever metaphor the powers that be are going after this season. She thought she had found her future, but nope! That future is off getting married to the human embodiment of an unflavored Fage Yogurt3. Becca is ready to find love because her parents were in love until her dad’s untimely death and guess what? It’s her turn now.

My favorite part of every season is the girls who are like, “I can’t believe I’m The Bachelorette? All I had to do was unleash a ton of my personal trauma on national television and ABC will pay me to wear sequin dresses and shank dudes’ hearts now!” I do love that Arby is actually banned from Minnesota, though. I mean, I don’t think he’s running to go to Minnesota any time soon, but the fewer options Arby has to spread his rubbish sludge, the better. We see Becca go through her Bachelorette Photoshoot4 and show how she’s a Strong Woman in both demeanor and physical strength at a acrobatic silks class.

I’m tentative.

Becca arrives at The Bachelor Mansion, where our three past Bachelorettes, all engaged but none married, are waiting for her with mimosas. Honestly, I would like to hang out with these three girls. Rachel and I could just... you know, be black together and I would ask Joelle about home design and Kaitlyn and I could dance. Tag me in, Becca. TAG ME IN. Rachel tells Arby to go fuck himself and basically is a queen the entire time. They all rave about the experience and how great it was for all of them - take away the fantasy and really consider real life. Rachel and Joelle talk about the fact that the women have a better track record on The Bachelorette (true) because they approach the situation with more nuance than the men do. And that’s true. To me, the men of The Bachelor are looking for someone to project their dreams onto, and the women are approaching it with a real sense of opportunity.

Rachel proceeds to sage the entire mansion, Becca’s ring finger, her vagina, and they’re never going to get rid of the stench of toxic masculinity, Axe body spray, and desperation. That’ll be there forever. That's in the fibers of the couches.

Okay, let’s talk about Becca’s first night dress. I know people are divided on it, but I think it’s a banger, okay? I mean, I wish it wasn’t ivory, but the all overbeadwork and the art-deco style is gorgeous. I also love the neckline, because Becca has great shoulders. The pairing of that with those dramatic teardrop earrings was stunning. It sparkles in the light, it’s a dress meant to be on television, not caught in a still shot.

LET’S MEET THE MEAT, SHALL WE?

First up is Clay, who is 30, and is a pro football player. Great, because now I have to worry about you getting CTE and argue with you about standing for the national anthem? Oh, Clay played for Detroit, though. I can’t be mad at him. Also, CLAY IS A DREAMBOAT. We see him at dinner with his family and his cute grandma. Clay is there For Becca, for sure.

We met Garrett, who starts with a Chris Farley impression. In 2018. A Chris. Farley. Impression. Chris Farley’s corpse is turning over and over and over in his grave. Oh my god, of course Garrett is from Reno. Reno gives me such Second City vibes. Not like the improv group, but like, the city you go to when you don’t have anywhere else to go, like Cincinnati or Tallahassee. Garrett is active because of course, but he wants a companion to do outsidey things with.

Oh god, we meet Jordan, who is 26, and a professional model. I already am going to safely call him this season’s Robb(ie). Jordan is the kind of guy who’s hot in certain lights but then other times you’re like “man, give some chin to other people!” He has a lot of chin, and his meticuliously carved “scruff” isn’t helping matters much. Oh god. Jordan starts out talking about his Brand, a phrase I only say ironically. I am literally shaking with rage. Jordan’s an unironic Derek Zoolander. He considers having to be tan and using salt spray to be “taxing”. He’s excited for once to finally be focusing on someone else for a change, and all he wants to do is sit on a couch with a box of chocolates with Becca in sweatpants and watch a chick flick. Jordan claims a lot of models don’t do that.

Someone want to notify Jordan that a good number of male models are gay men who would definitely do that? Anyone?

Next up is Lincoln, who we’ve already met on After The Final Rose. Lincoln is from Nigeria and he’s #blessed to be in the United States. He’s ready to get married and ready to settle down. That’s all. Boring. Joe From Chicago owns a grocery store, and as soon as this comes out of his mouth I’m in love with him. My full on Type is Man from Chicago Who Owns A Grocery Store. Joe’s ready to settle down and knows when he finds the right one, he’ll know.

Jean-Blanc comes on screen and I can hear my mom yelling “THIS IS YOUR HUSBAND AMANDA” from the six-hundred-something miles away that she is. Jean-Blanc collects “accoutrements”, and oh my god, my mom might be right. Jean-Blanc likes stuff. Watches, ties, cologne, all the extra shit no one really needs but it’s nice to have. I mean, I hate wearing perfume, but if a man can find a blend that works for him and isn’t overpowering? Great. Dope. Totally down. We see him opening Viktor & Rolf’s Spice Bomb, a Curve cologne??? And others from the Checkout Aisle From Marshalls and TJMaxx Collection. He’s going to “blow her nose away”, a phrase I’m shocked Jordan didn’t use because you knnnnnnoooow Jordan loves a little nose candy. Sorry, it’s true.

Colton is another football player so this season is full of men with experience getting concussions. Also, can we stop making men named Colton football players? Colton got injured in his last season, so he decided to give up football forever and now runs a charity to change the lives of cystic fibrosis sufferers. Okay, I can’t even talk shit. Damn charity.

Becca heads in the limo to meet Chris Harrison and the 29 other garbage men that will create the Advent Calendar of Regret that is The Bachelorette. Chris Harrison is on screen for the perfect amunt of time - like, thirty seconds, before our first limo full of mediocrity arrives. First out? Charitable Colton, who is firmly placed in the top two, officially. He wants to celebrate Becca being bachelorette and brought confetti poppers, which is actually not the worst initial interaction for these two people to have. It’s actually... cute?

God, help me.

We meet Grant, who both tells Becca he respects her for what she’s gone through but also wants her to forget all of it - way to help with THAT, Grrrrrant. Clay comes out and talks about football and makes a football pun and is cute and everything. Jean Blanc has a French name and teaches Becca some French, which is a mess. Of course, he has her translate “Let’s do the damn thing”, and god I hope it’s the last time we hear that this season, but that’s not true. Connor is a fitness coach and gets down on one knee in front of Becca. Don’t retrigger the girl.

Oh god, not even two mintes after I said I never wanted to hear “let’s do the damn thing”, here comes Connor with it all over again. God damn this show.

Another limo arrives and out comes Joe From Chicago Who Owns A Grocery. He immediately forgets what he has to say as soon as he sees Becca and JOE I WILL TAKE YOU. John walks the wrong way into the house, and Leo arrives looking like he was trying to do a Miss Geist from Clueless costume and forgot to do his hair before leaving the house. It is not a good look, I literally slid to the ground and cackled when he came out5. He proceeds to take his hair down and swish it around like he’s fucking Fabio.

Jordan comes out of the limo and Becca says hi, and he doesn’t respond. Because that is the kind of person Jordan is. He’s the kind of man who wants to say hello first. Jordan wasn’t expecting Becca to be wearing ivory, which is just a weird thing to say. His shoes are loud as fuck, too. Jordan spent six hours on his outfit and is like, “I’m wearing a grey suit, it’s daring.”

No, Obama wearing a khaki suit is daring. Klein Epstein and & Parker Suits are daring. A heather grey suit with a blue tie is like putting a jalapeno in your guacamole. You’re not exactly living on the edge.

Nick arrives dressed like a racecar driver because only assholes wear outfits like that. Nick is... god, I can’t figure out if Nick is hot or not. I do appreciate Leo being ike, “yeah, reminding this girl of her ex? NOT A GOOD LOOK.”

So of course Mike, the other long-haired dude with a fucking man bun in god damn 2018, comes in with a cardboard cut-out of Becca’s ex. STOP TRIGGERING THIS WOMAN. That isn’t charming, that’s weird. I didn’t look up my ex-boyfriend’s ex-girlfriends until like, a solid year into our relationship. I mean, it wasn’t the same way on his end6 but I think if I were to lead this show I’d specifically ask them NOT to mention my ex, if possible. Like, at all.

Garrett arrives in a minivan, and it’s full of soccer balls and a baby bag and he’s just trying to set the correct tone. I literally sat grimacing the entire time he was on screen. I hate Garrett already.

My second favorite part of the season premiere is the men being like “wow, there’s a lot of dudes here”. What did y’all expect?

Blake arrives on an... ox? After already meeting Becca with a horse at After The Final Rose? Becca’s right in wondering where he’s getting all of these animals from. I feel bad for the poor intern that needs to take care of Blake’s animals. Lincoln, the other guy who met Becca at After the Final Rose, and he brought Becca cake. Lincoln and Blake are both feeling confident because they’ve already met her before. We see a bunch of other dudes we’ve met before - Darius, Chase, Banjoist Ryan. The 24 other guys are intimidated because clearly they have some sort of leg up in the competition because they’ve been with her for ten seconds four months ago. I’m sure Darva Conger would agree with them that this is a solid grounding to form bonds over. It ended so well for her.

They basically show all the black guys back to back and a bunch of other nonfactors meeting Becca.

And then there’s Kamil, who is wearing sneakers with his suit and his job is “social media participant” which is effectively like putting “Air Breather” as your job in 2018. He only walks halfway to Becca and makes her come the other half to meet him, and then moves back further and is like “yeah, what about 60/40?” And honestly, this is the best depiction of heterosexual dating in 2018 I’ve ever seen and Kamil is literally telling Becca Who He Is in their initial interaction. 60/40, my ass. Becca is unamused by this and tries to turn it around on him, and he won’t engage.

Ya donzo, Social Media Participant.

Jake shows up, and Becca knows who he is. He’s an acquaintance and she’s confused because... Oh, okay? That’s super weird. I totally get why that’s weird. Production comes in with morbid music as a hearse drives up. Trent pops out and says he literally died when he found out Becca was Bachelorette, and I cackled. I can’t help it. It’s one of the worst things I’ve ever witnessed.

Jordan is here to show off his sartorial choices and doesn’t understand the other shlubs who showed up. I hate that I kind of agree with him? But then again, I intend my wedding attire to be Elevated Black Tie. I want the men to show up in basically butler’s uniforms and the women to look like Lady Gaga. Just put a little more effort in - Becca’s standing there in a backless beaded gown, the least you can do is put on a god damn tie.

Oh, of course someone comes in in a chicken suit. David is both a chicken and a venture capitalist, which is my least favorite thing. He has to wear that suit all night long. Jordan is #unamused, which is hilarious. I do appreciate the “bekaw/Becca” wordplay. Chris arrives with a fucking choir who sings about getting a rose, and I’m just... Okay. This would be teeeeewwwww much for me.

Okay, we’ve got twenty-eight men. And none of them are winners. Good LUCK, Becca. Becca makes her first toast, and immediately Connor is the first one to whisk her away. The guys are genuinely shocked but y’all, that’s how the game is PLAYED. He opens a bottle of champagne with a kitchen knife, and it’s impressive, but not a saber like is to be expected or standard. Color me unimpressed, Connor.7 Clay and Becca play with Clay, and I love that. I mean, who doesn’t love adults playing with play-doh? Clay is from a small town and talks about his values and how they grew from growing up where he did. He talks about how excited he was to meet her, and I smile. Clay is too good for this show.

ONE OF THE DUDES MADE THE APP FOR VENMO AND WHAT IS HE DOING HERE? DAMN, ABC.

Chris uses the fact that his grandparents got married after two months and have been together almost 60 years to get Becca to believe that Chris is all about this. Chris looks far too much like Perez Hilton for my liking and just for that, I hate him with a firey passion.8 Christon is a former Harlem Globetrotter and so he’s gonna show her how he can dunk a ball from her own hands. He DUNKED Becca, jumping OVER her head, and it...

It’s actually marvelous. Like, damn. I mean, he’s a Harlem Globetrotter. He better be able to dunk on command.

Blake and Becca are on the same page, which is shocking because Blake is basically dressed like Hugh Hefner. Chris Harrison comes in, drops off the First Impression Rose, and walks out to go put his pajamas back on. All the guys are immediately shooketh by it.

Lincoln brought Becca a bracelet from Nigeria, and we get a montage of the stunts these guys are pulling to impress Becca. David the Chicken Venture Capitalist leads Becca in the chicken dance and we’re supposed to be impressed by him becuase he’s literally in a chicken suit but he has a Serious Career.

We get to watch the Anxiety Set In for the men who haven’t had a chance to talk to Becca yet, especially Jordan. He pretends like it doesn’t bother him, he’s just playing it cool, but come on. Garrett shows Becca how to fish, and if a dude did this to me, I’d yawn. Garrett reminds Becca of home, of her dad, and she thinks he’d totally fit in with her family. Oh no.

Chris / Perez Hilton / Ben Stiller in Dodgeball has realized someone is There For the Wrong Reasons. Chase, who met Becca on After the Final Rose, is suspected by Chris. I’m suspicious of both of them simply because they’re both from Orlando, Florida unapologetically. Chris knows Chase’s ex-girlfriend and apparently she told Chris that he’s just there for publicity. They all think Chris needs to confront Chase. I can’t tell you who told him this because we’re still at the point of the season where all the men kind of look the same. I think it’s Christon and Blake, but I’m not sure.

The drama has already begun. I'm sad it's not someone getting black out drunk like it usually is.

Chris takes Chase aside to tell him what the deal is, and Chase of course denies all of this. I mean, what’s he going to do, stand there and admit do it? He confirms he’s there for the Right Reasons, and he’s there for Becca. My favorite is that he admits to have been watching this show for years with his mom, so of COURSE he’s NOT THERE FOR FAME. I don’t understand this thought process as a defense.

Chase immediately runs to Becca to tattle on Chris for being skeptical. Chase, who looks perpetually constipated, never found out what this girl told Chris, but he’s vehemently denying whatever it is and isn’t That Guy, whatever guy his ex he only dated for a month told Chris he was. Like damn, Chase. You musta done something. Becca doesn’t really know what to do with any of that information because Chase is leaving out the part where he’s the asshole.

Chase goes and grabs Chris (????) because they’re settling the drama right then and there. Chase denies ever dating this girl with any kind of seriousness and they’re both... gross. Becca clearly doesn’t know what to do because the story doesn’t add up. If it was two years ago and someone he only a dated a month, what’s the issue at hand? It’s so weird. Becca is as turned off as I am, and this mostly reminds her of someone she met earlier that she was turned off by initially.

She comes to get Jake, because his intentions are watery at best. They have the same group of friends back in Minnesota but have never interacted, and so it’s super weird that he showed up here trying to date her. Like, dude, you actually had a chance before to at least try to. Becca doesn’t think he showed her any interest in the previous times they’ve met, and Jake doesn’t remember meeting her more than one time. He remembers one time they met, but not... multiple times.

I scoffed so hard a little bit of phlegm came out. TMI, I know. But still.

Jake is excited to be there and get to know her, but Becca isn’t on board, and rightfully so. I’ve had people meet me multiple times and have zero recollection and I’m offended. Here comes Jake, having met Becca multiple times and admittingly having no recollection of doing so, coming onto this show to try to date her? Really? When in real life he never tried to in the first place? Most people aren’t as transparent as Jake is with their intentions, but it’s so clear that Jake thought he’d be able to parlay the fact that they knew each other before into a relationship.

But if we’ve met before and you didn’t show any interest then, how am I expected to take you seriously now that we’re on TV? Becca all but says as much but tells him she knows what it feels like to have someone question her relationship with them and she’s not going to do that again. Jake tries to be like “but what about meEEEEEEE and MY FEELINGS” and Becca shuts that shit right down because she is not here for his whataboutism. Neither of them did anything when they met before, and it’s not about who did what in this scenario. She’s holding the god damn key and him coming on this show in the first place was fucked up. She doesn’t want to waste his time and knows she doesn’t see a future with him. She’s sending him home ASAP.

He tells her that he’s not the same person she met at some mysterious Christmas Party and has had a “transformative year” - uh you’re telling this to the woman who got dumped on national television, your transformation is nothing compared to hers - and he’s a different person. He thinks if they met again, it would have a different result. I’m sure it would, Jake, but you lost your chance. Sorry. He says he respects how she feels and he’s going home.

Jake was one of the most attractive men there, but man, this was G R O S S.

Becca announces to the men that Jake is going home first, and they’re all terrified.

There is a grown ass man with an “expecto patronus” Harry Potter tattoo, and yeah, he’s got some nonsense “it’s different in Latin” translation, but I’m just happy the black guy doesn’t have a Death Eater tattoo8. Colton talks about his charity, and the First Impression Rose is still there.

But not for long, because here comes Becca to grab it and offer it to...

Garrett.

All the guys are visibly gutted. I don’t know why, the best thing about Garrett is his tie. I love a pink and blue tie. He gets the first kiss of the season, too. Garrett’s thrilled.

Back inside, Chris Harrison has changed back into his suit for about ten minutes to gather Becca before the first Rose Ceremony. At this point, I also see a guy who I haven’t seen thus far, and went “PHOARRRRRRRR” because he was so hot. WHO ARE YOU, ANONYMOUS HOTTIE? I love that Jordan’s like, “It wouldn’t be fair to Becca if I didn’t get a rose tonight.” I’m on my third season of saying this, but I love when the contestants think their feelings matter at all in this scenario.

The Rose Ceremony begins.

Lincoln, Blake, Rickey, Jean-Blanc, Christon, Clay, Wills, Connor, Jason, John, Ryan9, Alex, Nick, Trent, Colton, David The Chicken Venture Capitalist, Jordan, Leo, Mike, and Chris all accept roses.

That means Chris’s plan to get rid of Chase worked. Which it never does. On The Bachelorette, The Messenger usually gets shot.

Bye to Chase, Christian, Darius, Grant, Joe, and Kamil, all to face the cold light of day. Y’all stayed up all night for this.

BUT NOOOOOOOO, NOT GROCERY STORE JOE, NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. I’ll keep you warm in those Chicago winters, Joe. Now that My (ex)-boyfriend Wells is dating someone far more famous than I am, I’m in the market. Call me.

This Season, on The Bachelorette: This season isn’t the most dramatic ever, according to Chris Harrison. This time, it’s an adventure. Lots of beach kissing! All the guys are like “Arby’s dumb for losing this girl.” Colton, Jean Blanc, and Nick all tell Becca they’re in love with her. And then - TEARS. LOTS OF THEM. Someone did to Becca what Arby did, and whoever it is, I AM COMING FOR YOUR EDGES. Lincoln is a liar and a manipulator? Jordan, who is clearly there to boost his modeling career, takes it very personally for people to attack his character on television. That… doesn’t help with people thinking you’re just there to boost your modeling career, Jordan. Colton, of course, is a virgin, and apparently this may or may not be a lie? Who lies about something like that? Becca’s pissed. She just wants honesty from these fuckboys, and girl, you better have stocked up in fuckboy repellent. All she wants is their honesty from here on out. And then someone’s getting taken off in an ambulance. But it’s all going to end in an engagement that has allegedly already been spoiled by TMZ/the Powers that Be at ABC trying to scoop Reality Steve, so that’s what we have to look forward to.

See you next week! It’s great to be back.

Random Assessments from the Desk of Amanda:

Becca is only a year older than I am, and this is really sending me spiraling. I know we’ve had girls younger than I am on this show, but I never really contextualized that until I saw 1990 next to Becca’s name. I am so OLD.

This season’s batch of men makes me never want to be The Second Black Bachelorette™. If these are the best options, I’ll barf.

I know she’ll be on Paradise because come on no brainer, but man - I am so happy The Bachelorette is not Tia. Oh man, am I happy it’s not Tia.

I know everyone talks about how amazing Joelle’s hair is, but Becca. Gorgeous hair.

How tall is Becca? She looks like she’s my height.

Jordan is going to be this season’s Chad. At least we’re going back to the Douchebag Villain and not the Racist Villain again.

I really loved that all the guys were like “if the guy in a chicken suit gets a rose over me, life means nothing.” Oh, to have never struggled a day in your life.

Jordan, are you really a fashion model if you’re from Crystal Ocean Spray, Florida?

All of these men look like 90s Teen Film Villains. Like, this is a cast of Andrew Keegans and Paul Walkers.

Elizabeth who? ↩︎

I mean, kind of? No, I don’t. I really don’t. Can someone explain this to me? I feel like that’s resigning yourself to a lifetime of mediocre sex because you haven’t experienced anything else. ↩︎

I went with Fage because Bobby Flay, the whitest man I can think of, was their brand representative for a moment. Why is Bobby Flay the whitest man I can think of? He has a show where he literally competes with people to prove he’s good. I don’t need that, I literally have MY LIFE. ↩︎

Things that are interesting to only me: after two years of having the lead on a white background in a red dress (Joelle and Rachel), they’re back to the metallic-colored sequin dress (Kaitlyn and Andi), but Becca’s on a grey background. Both Emily and Desiree had what honestly looks like satin prom dresses from JCPenney. This matters to literally no one else.  ↩︎

The least surprising thing about Leo is that he’s a stuntman. Of course he is. Stuntmen either look like him or look like... well, what I imagine Joe From Chicago Who Owns A Grocery Store’s uncles probably look like. ↩︎

boundaries.

↩︎

Some other guy who is a real estate agent is like, “you never buy the first house,” which reminds us this show is doing really good things for gender progress in America. (/s) ↩︎

Seriously, has anyone with a Death Eater tattoo realized they’re just telling the entire world they’d be a proud racist wizard? ↩︎ ↩︎

RYAN IS MY SECRET MYSTERY HOTTIE, OMG. I forgive his banjo playing, it’s not like he’s in Mumford & Sons. ↩︎

[amisbro]

Let’s answer this

If someone asked me RIGHT NOW “Where are you in terms of UtaPri and the fandom?” That is arguably the most complicated question I would ever have to answer...and I took World Culture in High School!

Okay let’s be serious UtaPri is legit one of the few franchises that tests me mentally in the sense of Figuring out Broccoli’s next move with Merch What they could do gamewise What is going to happen with the Anime Information on other projects (Shining Masterpiece/Theater ,DVDs ,Stage shows etc.) What the next step in the universe would be as a whole with the different units and COULD THEY CREATE MORE...I never discussed this one but its something I had been thinking about Its also one of the few that has allowed me to mess with the Canon and treat groups that might not have been treated fairly and write them in ways that I enjoy...matter of fact SPOILER TIME but one of the next fic works coming this month is my yearly Birthday concert but with a twist that you’ll see for the first time when the birthday comes up. It HAS also been one of the more frustrating fandoms lately that I have been in/dealt with and I’m not going to bullshit it anymore. History Lesson So back in 2013 (and more specifically near the end of it I discovered a gif of one of the characters from the series...at the time I had no idea who it was and ,if you remember, Tumblr made an update that hid the tags unless you went in the post on a person’s blog (generally the OP) and found out what it was.  In this case it was Ren Jingugji of STARISH whom I found out was voiced by Junichi Suwabe.  That name sounded familiar and I discovered he was in BroCon as the brother Kaname whom was a Monk (and also a womanizer...there’s a comho) (Also if I got the occupation for Kaname wrong I apologize.  I could have sworn that was his occupation but its been a while since I watched the series so forgive me on the mistake if there was one) Well after this discovery about UtaPri I went and looked it up on my favorite website (okay second...ANN is first anymore) in Wikipedia and I discovered it was a Otome/Visual Novel game and that intrigued me...what intrigued me more was researching some of the characters and at the time legit five intrigued me Natsuki Shinomiya of STARISH and the whole of QN QN was interesting because ,since I was just discovering UtaPri at this point, I knew jack about them...but I wanted to see what I could learn about them from observation/  Legit the ONLY SPOILER I retained at the time was that Ai was programmed with the memory of Aine or something of that effect...again its been a good while. Season 1 I watched through DVD and if you go through this blog you will see that I did two different blogs on that and Season 2.  When I did Season 2 that was through the site crunchyroll and I remember at the time I was talking with someone using the “Fan Mail” option (hey tumblr staff bring that back will ya...I actually liked that option) and before I got to Season 2 someone had told me about Camus.  The reason for this was because I mentioned (at the time) I despised Ren’s character for being a womanizing playboy that didn’t give a s**t about being an idol.  Now yes that was actually wrong but it was the thing I remembered from my first watch through (which was when the conversation with the tumblr user occurred). Before we discuss Season 2 you have to know this.  Because I knew at the time info would be readily available on the “initial 6″ (Cecil wasn’t in STARISH yet) legit the only one I remembered reading about was Natsuki and originally I thought I was going to enjoy his character...matter of fact for anyone that wants to know that doesn’t from S1 the “Best Boy” spot was something like this Tokiya (before Cecil has {BEEEEP]) Cecil And once the Season was rewatched it was Ren after realizing the crap he not only went through in Season 1 but then later in Season 2 HOWEVER Once Season 2 came about and QN was introduced anyone that knows me knows that my faves showed up in Ai and Camus (and also Ran)...Reiji I never could really embrace and I have TRIED!  Something about him I just can’t get with. (I know I know...I can’t deal with him but I have no issue with Myu right?  Yeah I’ve been working on that one for over 4 years and it ain’t easy) So Season 2 was ON FIRE! Legit all of the songs I could kind of embrace (I legit replayed Crystal Time all day for like 3 weeks straight if I remember...might have been shorter but it was a murderous loop trust me) and the story (for the most part) was a very light and funny tone from what I remembered.  Yeah there were the “heavy” moments but you didn’t want to have a nervous breakdown after the episodes ended...that was me in Season 4 when Episode 11 happened BUT ANYWAYS Season 2 was ALSO the introduction of the “Renegade Princes” in HEAVENS and around this time they were just a trio (June 6th would be the airdate and the “official” birthday of HEAVENS I guess?  I think some use the 27th of June so its funny) and I was like most people.  I wanted them to fall on their ass and never be seen again so we could get to the STARISH/QN part of the story (cos I legit watched the SSX OVA like 50 times and can damn near recite that fucker word for word if I remember scenes hard enough...I think it was the first time I saw Myu with glasses too!) Now here was the thing about HEAVENS AT FIRST I was like the fandom like “Look at these jackasses.  All they want to do is start shit and cause problems for STARISH so they need their ass beat” and well they did lose and I think I remember the first time being REALLY HAPPY about it but I think around the second time I THINK (and I would have to go back through my notes) I was less harsh on them.  I know by the time I got to their debut episode (and I finished it) a THIRD TIME I had no issues with them left...then again this might have been during the space between Season 3 and 4. Actually...yeah the third watch was between Season 3 and 4 cos I wanted to see how the “Original Trio” acted and then I would compare that with the “new boys” later.  If I remember right (cos I am trying to NOT rewrite history) when I first saw the “Fully Powered” HEAVENS The one I probably took the most issue with was Van (sorry @baku5ds) but it was because he reminded me of Ren from Season 1 and I wanted to deck his ass...still kind of want to punch him then for acting like a knob but he’s aight now! Season 4 was going to be an interesting time for me See before Season 4 started I remember asking people how they thought the season was going to go and they thought it would go like this HEAVENS would lose (well they were initially DQ’d so kind of right) and then it would be down to STARISH and QN with HEAVENS as background characters (which is what they were in Season 3 cos we didn’t see them again till the new 7 showed up). When we found out it was going to be duets between STARISH and HEAVENS it became interesting for me because remember this:  Because I watched legit the initial debut for the Trio (and their subsequent loss) twice a part of me wanted to see what Broc would do FOR THEM because I personally had kind of “been there/done that” with STARISH and I learned as much as I could for three seasons and dealing with their personalities...nothing wrong with that but after a while you need to interject new characters to freshen up a series. One thing I remember being asked was basically this “How can you like HEAVENS when you don’t know about them?” (That’s not the question verbatim but considering this question was on skype legit now over 2 years old I dunno if I can find it again) We have to remember that around the time of Season 2 (when I watched it) I legit only remembered Ai’s part of the wikipedia entry so...why should I have liked QN? I really DIDN’T read the STARISH part of the wikipedia entry so why have liked them? See the way I work as a fan is through observation and I see what I see and then make my judgements based on that.  I STILL think that the School staff was borderline antagonistic (all of them and that includes Shining) and when STARISH officially got to debut with Nanami as the composer I smiled cos in the end the “bad guys” (even if they really weren’t) “got theirs” What I got legit curious about was this during Season 4 Even if my opinion and a STARISH fan’s opinion on HEAVENS never matched up could we have that civil discussion to say “okay you don’t like them that’s cool but please respect that I do” We all know about the “3 weeks of hell” and I won’t relive those but those were the WORST 3 weeks of my life.  I legit think I damn near had a headache that lasted that entire stretch I was that annoyed cos I could legit see the story in front of me but everyone else was like “Nah fam...that ain’t true” then HEAVENS lost in the Triple S after their perseverance of dealing with “Daddy’s bulls**t” and I don’t know if I was more annoyed about that or the prior weeks with the “EiiOto Mess” and the rest of the duet project cos in my head I knew one part of the fandom would be THRILLED while the other would be annoyed...I think anyone that knows me knows where i was to the point someone made a stalk account on twitter to try and get on me...didn’t work cos I know how to block people! ANYWHO! I’m going to try and keep the rest of this brief af...I say try so we won’t go over 6th stage (and how I thought that was a trainwrck...maybe I was too harsh back then to be honest) but I do want to discuss this Whenever I hear (and others I know) that “HEAVENS�� role is only to make STARISH better” I half ass chuckle because if we are talking about groups to make STARISH BETTER well...there was QN and then STARISH was again kind of like “Nah fam” and we know what happened. I dunno that I am annoyed with the fanbase...matter of fact I can almost tell you flat out I’m not but if I had a gripe with the “Western/International” base it felt more like at times y’all didn’t want there TO BE fans of the “Renegade Princes” because I know a friend of mine made a VERY INNOCENT post when it came to Shining Live and HEAVENS and they asked “What would the HEAVENS fans want in Shining Live for them” and I remember the Anons and how they were kind of rude...not a good way to grow a fanbase kids. Let’s be clear on this and I’m going to try and make this brief I don’t hate STARISH nor their fans I don’t hate QN or their fans (obviously I am one) I’m more frustrated because you see when you are someone like me who IRL dealt with a lot of s**t and was an underdog his whole life I always root for them...I want to see that upset! I think I would have enjoyed STARISH’s story a bit more IF they showed that they could “take it on the chin” one time and then go “Okay we lost that round...let’s give it hell next time!” I know they technically COULDN’T do that with the story they were telling but don’t you think that Suwabe right?  He worked on KnB and he could have said “Well look...in this series my school beat the main school (Seirin) and then they came back eventually and beat us...couldn’t we do something like that?” Irony before anyone says anything is he ,SuzuKen ,Kishow ,OnoD ,to a lesser extent Shimono and Tatsun (might have been more...I think Toriumi was on Suwabe’s team) all knew what happened but I think because of certain issues they HAD to write UtaPri where STARISH was basically unstoppable...best guess It gets frustrating sometimes to be a fan of the series (less so for me now that I play on the JP account more full-time now) and you want...really all of the groups to do well but you know you really want your group to do well.  It also somewhat gets upsetting when you ask people “Would you watch a season that was just HEAVENS?” and then they tell you they would skip it...never mind that you watched effectively 2 full seasons of the “main group” but EYYY I dunno I think I get agitated and I know there are others that do too.  I would NEVER just turn my back on the franchise because I love it but I think I just wish that HEAVENS got repped well on this site and even facebook better than I feel like they do.  I think sometimes they will never get this “stigma” of being an “antagonist” off of them and that sucks...but for some people the “first impression is the one that lasts” so I can’t fault that anymore I guess In closing I don’t think I could ever leave UtaPri behind but all I want is what is best for my boys and hopefully their day is coming very soon Au Revoir!

[anaspiringalice]

My Disney Story: Apsi’s Introduction!

Hi there! Thanks for clicking to get to know a little bit more about the person behind the posts. It’s nice to meet you! You can call me Aspi.

I won’t be sharing too much personal information on the blog, but I’m a chronically ill twenty-odd-something who has been mentally living in Disneyland every single day for nearly three years. Currently, I’m still residing in my home country of Canada. It’s beautiful here, but no matter what road I look down I only see Sleeping Beauty’s Castle at the end of Main Street. I might not trade my home for the world, but I can certainly consider letting it go for a couple months for fantasy.

I could say that my story began back in the 90's when I was first introduced to Disney films and found that my like for them was just a little bit more than anyone else around me. Where people "grew up" and out of it, I was forever stuck admiring the beauty and nostalgia of the music, artwork, animation and storytelling. I'm just like a lot of you reading this, hopefully.

But, my Disney story truly began on November 9th 2017. It was my birthday and despite the best efforts of friends/family to be of comfort, company and cheer I was at home alone and struggling with severe chronic pain and anxiety. I was walled up inside my bedroom, not physically capable of getting out of bed without assistance and too tired to try. In fact, I couldn't do anything to enjoy my birthday. Now, I'm not really someone for personal celebrations. I don't like the attention, I don't like the presents, I don't like any of it. Usually, I like the day completely ignored save for a game of Clue (Cluedo in some countries), Red Robins for dinner and chocolate or red velvet cake. That’s an amazing birthday, in my eye. But, there is a huge difference between wanting to be left alone and not having a choice in it. Many people not in similar situations to me now are sure to understand: everyone likes to take the day off and spend it at home, but when there’s a stay-at-home order and you’re not allowed to leave? Completely different. All you want is to go out. Add in that you’re overwhelmed with pain that you can't do anything about and it’s no fun at all. It wasn't even snowing - and I love the snow! I was miserable and I decided that would be the last year I'd ever feel like that on a day where I was supposed to "feel special."

So, that begged the question - what would my ideal birthday be like? My first idea landed on an anime convention falling on that date, as cosplaying is my favourite hobby. Unfortunately, it is way too cold in November for that to ever be a thing and it was quickly scrapped. At that time, Youtube user Briberry (now Briannacherrygarcia) was uploading a hilarious bunch of shenanigans from Alice and the Mad Hatter at Disneyland. That was all that it took. I hadn't been to Disneyland since 2004 and I had no memories of my visit, despite being more than old enough to! It started as something just for fun, planning exactly how I would have a birthday in the park. That was all it was, a fantasy, until I came back to it a few weeks later and decided... well, why not? Why can't I save up and do a solo trip for a few days?

I went completely mental over the idea. I subscribed to nearly anyone with a Disneyland-based youtube channel, followed as many blogs as possible and spent more hours than was healthy planning. Not a moment passed where I wasn't thinking about the trip. I talked about it so much that my sister, who had been to the Disneyland park several times, was a bit jealous I'd be going without her and she invited herself. The rest is history! In November 2018, my sister and I went for my "first" trip to The Happiest Place On Earth. After an extremely hard year for our family, it was exactly what we needed.

I'll share more details on the 2018 trip in my Reliving Disney tag as the blog progresses since I’d like share all the magic. But, there was one moment which really stuck out to me. While playing musical chairs with the Alice-less Mad Hatter, I realized I knew all of the "lines" she was supposed to say. I took them from the pianist and Hatter and I had some back-and-forth. When we played, he did all he could to keep me in the game as long as possible without being unfair to the kids who were younger than I. When he approached me to pull me off my chair and give it to a child who couldn't sit in time, he dropped his voice and whispered to me: "You would be good at this, you know." I belonged there and I knew it. Gone were my previous thoughts of maybe wanting to become as Cast Member and be friends with Princess Aurora. My friend was none other than Alice herself.

The following months comprised of me doing all I could to help myself with my health problems, more than I had before. I spent an extended period away from my city where I can receive better healthcare and have been trying to knock off many of the other things which stand in my way to prevent me from auditioning. In fact, I don't ever expect I'll become a cast member in the way I want to. To me, that's not the point. To me, what matters is not that I succeed, but that I try. I will go to an audition, no matter how high the odds are stacked against me.

"You try, you fail. You try, you fail. But the only true failure is when you stop trying." "What do you want me to do, huh?" "Try again." (--- Disney's Haunted Mansion, 2003.)

Sometime in the summer of 2019 I was discussing this with one of my best friends, who sadly moved very far away from me earlier in the year. When it was mentioned that along with roommates, they were all planning a trip to Disneyland "sometime" in the future that I wanted to hijack the trip the way my sister did with me. I snuck in and took over as Trip Planner, or Magic Coordinator. We roped in a few more people and turned a "maybe in the future" dream to a "now" reality. We're still facing issues to the COVID-19 Pandemic, but no matter how high the odds are stacked we will all go! That leads us to the now! So come along with me and relive memories of the past and follow along while I share my thoughts on planning for Disneyland during Halloween/Christmastime!

Remember, all it takes is faith and trust...

- Aspi!

[stephicness]

What are your thoughts on a fan theory that all the events of episode prompto only happened in Prompto's head and weren't real? (Is it safe to discuss the episode now?)

Well, on my blog it is, at least, but I’ll tag for spoilers just in case. c: Because I REALLY want to talk about this theory because, to be honest, I’m really close to agreeing with it. To an extent, I mean, since Episode Prompto was an odd one in my eyes.

So spoilers ahead, because we’re talking EPISODE PROMPTO! Read below for my rambling!

So to me, this idea that Prompto had this all running through his head can be really plausible, I think. Of course, Square can pretty much tell us that they changed up Prompto’s story a bit to fit with his own episode, but honestly? I don’t buy it that much. Episode Prompto is a DLC that Tabata and the others KNEW they wanted to happen, just as they knew they wanted Episode Gladiolus to talk about him running off in Chapter 7, and Episode Ignis to discuss just how in the world Ignis was blinded. I like to give Square credit, and perhaps it might be too much credit, but I will when I say that Episode Prompto should be more well-thought out than we all assume.

Like, for me, and I’ll level with you here, I didn’t like Episode Prompto as much as I could have because it was so odd to me. Literally. Wandering through the snow after mysteriously finding a new outfit, stumbling upon an MT base where Verstael is trying to conduct an immortal experiment that turns him into a sentient version of the Very Hungry Caterpillar, and Aranea miraculously finding Prompto in a period of about two days/less after meeting Noctis and the others in Tenebrae and sending them on their way to Gralea? Perhaps it’s me being overly analytical, but Aranea isn’t THAT good at tracking someone. In a snowstorm. In, again, less than two days or so. Because by train, you can probably make a trip across a country (which I personally assume is about the size of Europe, more or less) in about a day if you really didn’t have any complications. Sans, of course, Ardyn appearing and Gentiana blessing Noctis with her icy presence.

Needless to say, ALOT of things didn’t add up in Episode Prompto, more than they actually did. They of course try to give us the bonus Episode Prompto stuff nevertheless though, like the outfit and the Lionheart gun too (which is super cute by the way…!).

But that’s where this whole fan theory comes into play: There’s so many weird things in the Episode that we can only assume that there’s something FAR more intriguing about just a Metal Gear wannabe DLC. One of the only real ways that can explain EVERYTHING in this DLC is by the fact that it is, in fact, a dream. An illusion that Ardyn conjured up to make Prompto relive the guilt about being an MT, to unravel himself and become the monster he was truly destined to become.

AND HERE’S A BUNCH OF REASONS WHY. SO KICK UP A SEAT BECAUSE THIS POST IS GONNA GET LENGTHY.

1) How the hell did he end up in the middle of the snow? Without any help? In a few days?

So the time frame of FFXV is super weird because we’ve got moments where they’re riding on a train, they’re suddenly stopping in Tenebrae, and those sorts of fun and merry things. So we never really get a rough timeframe of how long it took the boys to travel from Altissia to Gralea where the keep was. But we know for a fact that a good majority of the boys’ traveling is done by train. If you want to go in the comparison of the empire being about the same size as maybe Russia just for relativity sake, it takes you about seven days of train traveling to get across the continent to Gralea, give or take. (Again, this is all just speculations and guessing). Either way, they’re VIA train, at one point by car too with only one major stop to restock in Tenebrae. Beyond that, we pretty much see them make an almost continue train ride to Gralea.

Prompto, however, was thrown off the train just outside of Tenebrae, probably meaning he was traveling with the boys for about 2-3 days already before he had an early departure. He’d have to catch up with Noctis and the others in about 2 days or three after spending about two to three days dealing with the Verstael situation in Episode Prompto. BRINGING IN MATH HERE, but that means Prompto would have to make up that distance at approximately 150 MPH on a snowmobile to catch up to a train going about 80 MPH. Again, in about 2-3 days to catch up on a snowmobile while also taking in account breaks, nights to rest, and getting around obstacles that a snowmobile might not be able to traverse through. Mountains for example? It’d be hard for him to do, no matter how cool he was in Episode Prompto running down a mountain on a snowmobile as it was. Possible, but highly unlikely too.

2) How did Aranea find Prompto so quickly after dropping everything in Tenebrae?

It strikes me odd that we find Aranea suddenly in Episode Prompto because wasn’t she helping in Tenebrae to get people out of the burning manor and escape from the daemon outbreak from the city of Gralea? Why would she immediately drop whatever she was doing to go help out a blond-haired kid that conveniently was there to help her stop a mad scientist from making himself into a human centipede with robo-lasers? To me, I find it hard to believe, considering that she, for one, only met Prompto once direction for about two days to help Noctis go through a dungeon, and maybe a few times within Chapter 8 when she appeared before them all in a mask. (or when she again dropped in and beat up Noctis, again in a mask). She didn’t even acknowledge Prompto throughout most of the Myrtlewood dungeon, I think, so why give a damn about Prompto being lost?

It’s good that we saw Aranea there, but if you think about it, Prompto would probably imagine her the most out of anyone else to save him. He can’t imagine Noctis, Ignis, or Gladio saving him because they’re gone by then, and he already felt like he wasn’t good enough for them. Cor as well wouldn’t be someone Prompto would imagine helping him because Cor’s a Lucian. He doesn’t know anything about the MTs. Aranea, however, does, since she’s a commodore in the Niflheim Navy and someone strong enough to kick Prompto’s ass into shape and help him. He respects her enough to want her aid, but also knows that she wouldn’t push an MT away after working with them for so long.

3) Why did Verstael turn into a goo boy?

From what I remember about Episode Prompto, Verstael was making a machine infused with daemons and humans that would act as his vessel to basically become something more powerful than the Astrals themselves. He was obsessed with this god-like complex of his, which we all can understand seeing how he behaved in his conversation about Lunafreya in Chapter 3 of the base game. He wanted her alive because she could communicate with the Astrals, basically acting as a conduit for him to discover what makes the Astrals so strong. So he made the machine to become some god-like beast.

But why was he turning all gooey anyways? Why did he have to die in order for him to trigger the machine? When he approached Prompto, he radiated dark energy that he was becoming a daemon, turning into a monster. Half of his face was messed-up, after all. But these kinds of traits of daemofication while still alive never happens unless they DIED at some point. If he wanted immortality, he could have just gotten Ardyn to turn him into a daemon like he did with Iedolas and Ravus. Unless Verstael was the first, I mean. This only adds onto the fact that perhaps Verstael was dead and immortal as it was? It’s odd to me that if he wanted to become immortal, he could have easily just struck a deal with Ardyn to become a daemon pet. Instead, he was infused to a giant worm? Why? Why go through all that trouble when daemification and infusing a daemon into something is possible? Verstael is a smart man and knows how to get stuff done, so the trouble he went through to turn into a goo boy, die, get infused with a worm, and get blown up is pretty cray to me.

4) What’s with the flashbacks and paradoxes? 

This, I feel, is one of the bigger pieces of evidence to why Episode Prompto can be a dream theory. Things get really strange with Noctis trying to kill MT-clad Prompto, with Prompto reconciling with his younger self, with Pyrna appearing, etc. ESPECIALLY PYRNA. Because it was said that she had died when Lunafreya died, of grief at that. How is it that the dog managed to wander around when they were supposedly dead? They may be an Astral dog, but they still had an actual minimalistic form. We see that they too can die in the Omen trailer, despite that being a dream too. But still, even the Astrals can be killed somehow – just like how Eos was killed during the whole Lucian royalty are half-astrals theory. Why did these memories and illusions come trick him? Stress-induced hallucinations? A drug injected into him without us knowing? How? It’s odd to me, but most people assume it was an Ardyn mind-trick. He was there, as we see at the very end of the DLC, but why nearly freeze your immortal dick off just to mess with the broken child?

And most importantly – and my favorite detail about this in why Episode Prompto might be a dream theory – 5) How come Prompto wasn’t burned in Chapter 13?

We see at the very end of Episode Prompto that he’s strapped to the torture device and is just hanging there, not doing much and out of his change of clothes by now. Odd that he’d be redressed, but we see Noctis and the others come up and run to him to help Prompto. But later on in that chapter and during some of the Episode Prompto cutscenes, Prompto has that barcode on him. I believe there was a picture (Photoshopped or nah?) that showed that he had done something to his code. But still, those are not burn marks nevertheless, if that picture is real or altered. If they were burned, they be almost like something Ignis has on his face, not red and swollen looking like that, I don’t think. Yes, we get the option to say no to burning Prompto, but still. That barcode would have seen some pretty bad damage on it if Prompto clawed it off, burned it off, anything.

Instead, we see only the mark from when he was the restraint mark on his wrist from perhaps struggling to break free, or from hanging there limply. Fishy that there isn’t any other injuries on him, even after Episode Prompto. That mark over his nose isn’t there during the DLC, the injuries on his wrist aren’t during the base game. For the most part, the injuries that we know of besides you burning off his barcode are all injuries from the base game.

And most importantly, I bring this up too: During Episode Gladiolus, his ending was him walking with Cor to get back to Lestallum to meet the others, right? We see his resolution and ending, his reward and success for completing his task. How come at the very end, we only see Prompto hanging there in that prison? He’s not riding to Gralea to return to Noctis. We don’t see him get kidnapped by any of the Imperial Officers or Ardyn either. We only see Prompto. Trapped. Imprisoned. Why? After all we saw in Episode Prompto, how come they left out the major plot hole that we wanted to know: HOW DID PROMPTO GET TO GRALEA?

Well, with all of those details, wouldn’t it be logical that Prompto never left Gralea to begin with…? That Ardyn had him relive the psychological torture of Verstael and his insanity in hopes of Prompto turning against Noctis? We even know from the Versus XIII plotline that Prompto was initially supposed to betray Noctis during the point where he reveals he’s Verstael’s son. That was Prompto’s crisis point in the initial game, and he was going to turn on Noctis during Versus XIII. Perhaps Ardyn used these mind-tricks to try swaying Prompto to do so during XV. Perhaps he wanted to see their friendship break apart.

That, and Ardyn humming that Chocobo theme at the very end of Episode Prompto. Prompto only ever hummed that with Noctis and the others. How would Ardyn know that Prompto sings that too unless A) he’s a super mega-stalker (which I wouldn’t put it past him to be) or B) he knows Prompto’s mind and secrets and saw the memory of Prompto having sung/hummed that before. Ardyn knew Prompto’s mind more than we really thought, I feel.

So yes, I actually really do agree with the dream theory idea for Episode Prompto because alot of it is strange to me. But even if it all actually did happen, this theory is a fun one to ponder on. c;