#fizz vents

[fizzyorange-v2]

something so grief filled in forgetting how to play an instrument. in brushing off the dust and wincing at the tuning. in not remembering which finger plays which note. in looking at sheet music you once read with ease and seeing a language you no longer know how to speak. in wishing you’d just kept trying even a little every day. in realising that even muscle memory can be forgotten, can atrophy with disuse. it’s like mourning a ghost limb you swear you can still feel but can no longer use.

of course, it’s not quite the same. because it is a muscle you can rebuild with time and effort and dedication. it doesn’t have to be gone forever. but fuck man, i don’t think you can judge anyone for grieving the loss of all those years, and the pain and frustration of having to relearn everything all over again from square one. of struggling again with something you once used to be able to do without thought. of something so natural becoming so unbearably strange and confusing and far away.

it’s forgetting a language you once spoke fluently. how could you not mourn that loss? that lost ability?

[mrmiserymushroom]

one of my personal favorite tropes it’s the “well, we are really close and get along pretty well! they’re one of the best people in the world and one of my best friends. We hook up and good he fucks me so well and sometimes i fantasize about getting married but it’s not like i’m head over hills for them! NO NO NO NO NOPE. NO HOMO!!! TOTALLY BUDDIES BEING BUDDIES! but oh lord if you touch them I SWEAR TO FUCKING-” and i am was absolutely enchanted that this new episode got all of that!!

I also got to understand fizzy a lot more and now he (and maybe Ozzie) is my favorite character after Stolas!

I love how he and Blitz made up after a long time, even though I thought it was kinda quickly (or maybe i was just way too anxious and excited about my hyperfixation getting a new episode). I loved to see Blitzo getting to fix his mistakes and apologizing. I loved seeing him and fizzy talking and making jokes and arguing bc they’re so goddamn funny and have so much connection! Their friendship got my heart warm :]

I was a bit heartbroken about Stolas and how worried he was about his situation with Blitz. but I’m happy he seems to have a friend who will help him a bit and seems he can count on!

I LOVED FIZZAROLLI’S SONG OMG???? it was so yummy and nice and coool and AARSHAJDJAKSKAKSDKS

overall i REALLY loved this episode! Helluva Boss’s have been one of my hyperfixations and helped me through some really hard times. dunno if this is normal but i but i got so happy and excited about my hyperfixation having new content i actually got depressed and needed to take some SOS and go for a walk???? helloooo whatever the GAD and Depression are doing to me this is one of the craziest.

I get really REALLY insecure with talking about Helluva Boss on my socials and with anyone in general since i know the creator of it has some bad reputation and did really shitty things and the Hazbin Hotel series is pretty much hated for what i can see.

yeah i was afraid of what people would think about me if i tell them i hyperfixate on Helluva Boss and worried if they would thought i agree with any of the bad stuff that goes behind the creator and stuff.

so i just thought it would be a good idea if i just posted about it here (since a lot of people liked my helluva boss drawings) and take this stuff out of my chest to calm down my post anxiety attack. yeah thats it thanks if you read until this point :]

so yeah one of my favorites episodes so far!!! <3

[gr3ml1ngu7z]

Back with my owlapple agenda +mammon☝️

Also added my fav bits from the comic (pls tumbler don’t kill the quality🙏)

[imagination-phantom]

Don’t talk to me or my gay green flag boyfriends~

Plays Taylor Swift, You’re On Your Own, Kid, while walking home from my psychiatry appointment today after changing my anxiety depression meds AGAIN because there still not working, and this last one was a well journey so we’re still low but still trying to be glass half full.

This time it’ll stick.

Click the image if it’s blurry~

[mail-posting]

You're all free to abandon me by the way

[imqueerandadeer]

kinda wanna relapse, I'm not gonna but like Jesus shits been rough

[local-soda-can]

hey maybe don’t make me almost hate my name :3 pretty please stop that >w< please stop making fun of me :D i would really appreciate it thank yew :P

[crenmir]

He is probably holding up too much ...

[deathinfeathers]

.

[fzrticv]

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[fizzyorange-v2]

cried over opening a tin of tuna today. fun whacky dyspraxia hijinks.

also managed to burn my hand — once when pouring the pasta into the pot, twice when later straining the pasta — AND i cut open my wrist on the fucked up tin opening job i’d done on the tuna. like. it’s funny but also not because this is my life and my coordination isn’t getting any better ever 💀

it’s especially frustrating trying to explain my motor difficulties to others only to get back shit like “oh y’know i used to struggle using tin openers too” like fuck man! sorry to hear that! i don’t know how many times you sobbed over not being able to do a basic task! maybe you have also suffered! maybe making a simple meal also takes you twice as long and twice as much energy! but fucking please for one moment spare me some empathy and drop the invalidating lines! man ;-;

[3knecrotic]

girl help if it weren't for my loving relationship my ho phase would be HELL I would get drugged So Fast and NOT even be mad about it

[our-inspire-verse]

Interesting how being me presents. Someone tenderly worrying about me wwas met with so much hostility. I threw up. Of course im not like. Okay. Idk what's wrong but i don't need to answer questions. When months ago the same thing happened with Fizz, he warmly welcomed it. I'm not easily swayed, i like my partner checking on me, not abusers.

[the-shoal-system]

🤡i just want to die🤡

[dearfizz]

being ex-muslim and still fasting during ramadhan is a weird experience to me... socially?

Like, yes, the food y'all are eating looks good, but I am fasting. Why am I fasting? Oh, cause why not.

It's not because of a diet thing. I genuinely don't care bout how my body looks. I don't lose anything if I take one sip of water or a bite of some food.

It's just that I grew up in a muslim household where some habits have been hardwired into my very bones. I honestly don't know how to feel about that.

I am privileged to be able to say that I am not a muslim anymore. I know there are people like me out there who couldn't because of legal repercussions and just societal pressure, especially in a predominant muslim world. I'm grateful to be around people who are queer and understand me.

[nopoodles]

Nnnnng

Was trying to enter a short story contest but there's a glitch where I'm getting the emails saying I'm in but my user dashboard says I'm not, so I emailed (very scary for me) to ask and got told

"we haven't opened submissions yet"

And now idk what to do because I wasn't actually asking that(?)

I've got 2,702 words of piratical pining here. I need somewhere to put it!