#first thing i did just now after finishing the ep was bang out a little rough draft coda to their date | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lcksndkys · 4 years ago

Text

Pairing: JJK x reader

Rating: 18+

Genre: smut, fluff, tiny hint of angst

Word count: ~8k

Summary: Save a drum, bang a drummer.

Warnings: one tasteful semi-nude sext, brief flashback of male masturbation, discussions about conception, an unholy amount of nipple play, blowjob, fingering, pussy slapping with a dick (but like, romantically), unprotected sex within an established relationship, multiple orgasms, creampie

A/N: This is my first attempt at creative writing… ever. Borne from my horny imagination and a thirst dream, this piece is an epilogue of sorts. S/o to @jinpanman and @wwilloww for being the wind beneath my wings and the floaties around my arms. Also, big thanks to Willow who made the banner <3

There are two things you know are happening tonight. One: Beyond the Scene is out celebrating the completion of their newest EP. Two: your husband, the drummer of Beyond, is going to come home, high off the adrenaline of a successful night, and fuck you into oblivion. Your period tracking app that you both have been studiously monitoring over the last few months has notified you that you were going to be ovulating over the next couple of days.

You slip into one of Jungkook’s oversized cut-off tanks and a pair of crotchless black lace panties that you know he likes. Checking in the mirror, you see a generous view of side-boob due to the cut of his shirt and you turn around and decide to forgo bottoms entirely—they’ll be discarded soon anyways. Your husband may be out with the boys tonight, but you’re determined to wait up for him. It’s not that late after all. You roll over, pulling a bottle of lube from the nightstand and set it out for later.

Lying in your shared bed, you check your phone again, reading the last messages you sent to each other.

[9:51pm] Jungkook-ah: i’ll be home late babe. dont wait up. love you.

[9:54pm] You: … but i’m ovulating today. I want you.

You haven’t heard from him since. Tapping to the camera icon on your phone, you decide to send a little more encouragement. You quickly snap a photo of your torso covered in his shirt, making sure to give a tasteful glimpse of your ensemble.

[11:39pm] Jungkook-ah: fcuk. dont temnt meee idk when ill b home

You sigh. He's definitely drunk which means that even if he did come home soon, he’d be too wasted to finish the job, more likely to fall asleep seconds after washing up. Tossing your phone onto your pillow, you roll to Jungkook’s side of the bed. Breathing in his clean, slightly sweet scent, you let it comfort you as your eyes close. Your mind drifts off to the first time you ever saw Jungkook as a man.

Sprawled out on a twin sized bed, there was barely enough space for the two of you. Propped against the headboard and wearing nothing but a smile, he laced his fingers behind his head and cockily encouraged you to take pictures. “They’ll last longer,” he had said. Cheeky brat. You had instructed him to pleasure himself as you watched. “Tell me what you think of when you touch yourself, Koo” to which he replied, “You in my clothes with nothing on underneath”. He had whined, panting and desperate to hold off his climax with the hopes that he might get to feel you wrapped around him.

You made him promise that night would be a one off; an itch scratched. And above all, he wasn’t to speak of that night to anyone, especially his sister- your best friend. At the time, an emotional relationship was not something you were ready to pursue. And certainly not with someone so intimately linked to your inner circle. So when it happened again, and then again, you proposed an easy benefits-only relationship to which he quietly accepted. You didn’t know he had been secretly yearning for something you could not yet give him. Despite trying to push him and your emotions away, Jungkook persisted, and with time and patience, you let him into your heart and let him show you the meaning of true love.

With a love-sick smile plastered on your face, you drift off to sleep, plans for tonight all but forgotten.

_______________________________________________

Eyes still closed and hanging on to the quickly fading wisps of your dreams, you unconsciously feel around the sheets for your husband. When your hands come across nothing but layers of bedsheet and blankets and the lingering warmth of Jungkook’s body heat, you roll over seeking the comfort of his embrace.

Sitting up, you see that he must’ve moved you during the night towards your side of the bed before climbing in behind you. Realizing you’re still in his shirt and the sexy panties from last night, you huff out a groan of annoyance.

You get out of bed and make the short trek to your bathroom to wash up. Jungkook never missed an opportunity to “practice” baby making. The thought that he was avoiding a session in the sheets with you makes you press the bristles harshly against your teeth.

Upon returning to your bedroom, you see that at some point Jungkook had plugged your phone in to charge. You open up your app and double check that you’re still within short the ovulation window.

The shuffling of slippers alerts you to your husband elsewhere in your shared apartment. As you leave in search of him, you notice he had put the bottle of lube away.

Padding out towards the kitchen, you can hear the tinkling of dishware and cutlery. The smell of toast floats through the air as you spot Jungkook at the counter pouring his cereal into a bowl of milk. Endearing. You smile, remembering he once reasoned that adding cereal to milk ensures you won’t be left with any soggy bits.

Coming up behind him, he startles a little with your quiet arrival. You wrap your arms around his middle, pressing a light kiss between his shoulder blades, and nuzzling your face against the wide expanse of his back.

“I missed you last night, baby,” you coo.

Turning in your embrace, Jungkook wraps one arm around your shoulders and uses a pointer finger to gently tilt your head, aligning your mouth to his. He leans down to give you a sweet, chaste kiss in greeting before pulling away.

“I’m sorry I was out late. But I’ll make it up to you ok?”

“How about you make it up to me right now?” you wiggle your eyebrows suggestively, stepping back from his grasp.

His eyes rake up and down your figure, pausing to take in the long expanse of skin showing from under his cut-off tank. You turn your torso slightly, lifting your arms up overhead to smooth back your bed head, allowing him a generous view of your tits through the large armholes. You smirk to yourself knowing this simple outfit is one of his favorites on you.

“- oh, fuck,” Jungkook breathes, feeling the beginnings of desire stir in his sleep pants.

“I was so ready for you last night,” you continue, planting your hands behind you on the kitchen counter opposite of Jungkook. With a hop, you sit yourself upon the cold hard surface and try not to cringe at the sudden change of temperature on your bare rump.

You beckon towards your husband with a crook of your finger.

“I even wore one of your favorites,” you purr. Slowly trailing a hand towards your hip you pull the hem of your—well, his—shirt up, exposing some of the black lace panties you had worn.

Jaw clenched and brow furrowed. You enjoy Jungkook’s rapt attention.

“Come closer” you plead.

When he shows no sign of approaching, you lean back onto your elbows and prop one foot onto the countertop. Parting your legs, you smile victoriously when Jungkook’s eyes drop immediately to your exposed core. Thank goodness for crotchless panties.

His throat constricts at the sight of your pussy, framed in black lace, and bared lewdly for him.

“Fuck,” he growls lowley. You watch his throat bob again swallowing down a moan. He looks from your eyes, to your lips, and down between your thighs. Cock hardening, his desire rises hot and heady at the sight of you glistening before him.

Seeing him grow in the unforgiving fabric of his grey sweatpants, you grin at his visceral reaction. “You know I’m ovulating, right?” You bring your other foot up onto the counter further spreading yourself out for him. “Fuck me, baby. Fill me up with your cum.” A little dirty talk was nearly always enough encouragement to get your husband started.

Doe eyes wide, he is torn between his carnal desires to ravish you on the countertop and his mounting emotional distress.

When your husband doesn’t immediately react to your proposition, you know something is wrong. You hop off the counter and come to wrap around him. Jungkook has always been a shy boy, and as he got older, grew into a reserved man. He had a small social circle, knowing first hand that some people had no qualms with using him for his services. He was the golden boy. Jungkook was good at things and always has been- drums, sports, computers, video games, writing music, singing, sex. Many people sought to use him and had gotten away with it. And at first, he was eager to please; to prove himself worthy of the attention. But it wasn’t long before he grew cautious and began to keep a selective few close, including you.

You've always seen him. And you see him now, eyes tight with emotion he's been holding back from you. He hasn't done that in years.

Your arousal from earlier has all but dried up, evaporated with the sense that something important is weighing on Jungkook.

"Do you need me to listen or find a solution?" you ask him.

"Listen" he replies softly.

You take his hand, leading him towards the couch. Sitting down, you part your legs pulling his back to your front. You wrap all four limbs around him and lay back to let his weight press the both of you into the cushions. His hands immediately go to stroke along the soft skin of your shins. You tuck your face into his nape, ghosting soft kisses along the skin available to you. Holding him against you, you feel Jungkook slowly melt, head leaning back against your shoulder. You know he’ll speak when he's ready.

“I just… Lately I’ve been feeling like you only want a specific part of me,” says Jungkook quietly. His hands go to tuck back some of his hair behind his ears- a nervous tell he's never been able to kick. "And I guess it kind of reminded me of the time from before we officially got together, ya know?"

You feel your heart crumble in your chest at his admission. At that time, you weren’t ready for what Jungkook wanted to give you, convinced that the age gap and BTS’s rising fame would ultimately lead to disaster. Thus you had pushed for a purely physical relationship. He had agreed mistakenly believing that having your body, but not your mind or heart, was better than not having you at all. He hoped that time and love would help you change your mind. Luckily for both of you, it did.

You want to say something to comfort him, but you remember he asked you to listen. You stay quiet, giving him a safe space to speak.

"And I know we're trying for a baby, but lately there's no intimacy when you make love to me. It's like once I finish, it's over and you push me away to lay with your legs up against the wall."

You feel his ribs expand as he takes a deep breath, and then another. In, then out.

"You know how important aftercare is to me," he continues. You do know. Jungkook is a romantic; being held and praised for a job well done has always been just as important as the actual act of sex for him. "And if you're just trying to fuck me, I don't know if I want it."

There's a few moments of pause.

“Why didn’t you just tell me you didn’t want to have sex?” you ask softly.

Jungkook’s eyes nearly bug out of his head. “No! I mean- I want it, trust me, I want you. But the last few times, it felt like you just fucked me until I came.” Jungkook goans. “You didn’t even finish. Makes me feel like a bad lover."

You cringe remembering that the last time you had been intimate with your husband, you straddled him and then rode him fast and hard until he spilled his seed inside you. The whole ordeal lasted 3 minutes tops, and then you were rolling off him onto your back leaving him to clean up on his own.

Sensing he was finished, you start to apologize. “I had no idea you felt that way,” you start. “I never meant for you to feel that way. I’m sorry.”

“I just- I love you so much, and I would give anything to make you happy,” he says quietly. His hands continue to absentmindedly traverse the length of your legs.

Your hold around him tightens, a silent I love you.

“What do you wanna do today, baby? Today’s all about you,” you promise. You’re ready to give your husband the attention he craves.

“Anything?” Jungkook asks, craning his head back to meet your gaze.

“Mhmm.”

Jungkook smiles, pleased with your enthusiasm.

“I promise you I’ll give you a creampie, but can we please just play super smash bros first?”

Seeing the child-like wonder in your husband’s eyes, you can’t help but chuckle at him. Jungkook has always been easy to please and competitive to a fault.

“Sure, Kook-ah. Maybe I’ll even let you beat me” you joke, fingers digging into his ribs causing him to laugh and squirm from your grasp.

Jungkook unwinds your legs from around his waist to set up the gaming console.

_______________________________________________

After several rounds of super smash bros, Jungkook has other ideas in his mind. Pulling you onto his lap, you’re forced to part your legs to straddle him. He fingers along the hem of your shirt pulling up the backside to expose your bare ass.

“Ah, you wore these for me?” he asks, hand rubbing circles along your quickly heating flesh.

“Depends. Are you ready to take them off me?” you retort with a wink.

Giggling, Jungkook lunges for you, wrapping his strong arms around you and burying his head into your neck. You feel the gentle pressure of his lips suckling and tilt your head further back to grant him more access to the sensitive skin of your neck.

He laps against your throat, making you moan out in satisfaction. Your arousal starts to leak onto Jungkook’s grey sweats as you absentmindedly grind your bare cunt against the stiffness growing there.

“Mmm, fuck. Let’s go” you pant, urgently tapping at Jungkook’s shoulder.

Walking into the bedroom, Jungkook slowly lowers you down to the ground, letting your front drag along his, your soft curves trailing along the firm planes of his chest. The moment your feet touch down, you gently press a hand against his chest- right over his thrumming heart- and encourage him to sit at the edge of your bed. His eyes gaze lovingly up into yours, a small smile hanging on his lips, waiting for your instruction.

You tug at the hem of his shirt. “Can you take this off, baby?”

Jungkook eagerly nods, licking his lips in anticipation. He reaches back, hooking his fingers into the neckline of his collar and pulling his stupidly oversized shirt over his head in one swift motion. For a second, he lets you admire his body. He works hard to achieve his physique and enjoys knowing you’re your attraction towards him has never waned.

You swallow down a groan as your eyes trail from his chest, dusky nipples pebbled with arousal, down his abdominals, towards the bulge in his sweats. Your husband is a beautiful man, inside and out, and he is all yours. Tonight and forever.

Climbing into his lap, you straddle him and cup his face between your hands. Jungkook needs emotional intimacy, and you’re prepared to deliver.

You kiss his forehead. “I love the way you think. You’re quiet, but so clever, and I wish more people could see how your brain works. You’re considerate of other people and so fucking humble, qualities I really admire about you.”

Moving down to his eyes, you place twin kisses over his closed eyelids. “I love the way you see the world. When I’m tired, you remind me that there is so much beauty in the mundane, and I’m so lucky to see it all by your side.”

You reach down for his hands and press your lips along the knuckles of both his hands. “I love the life you’ve helped build for and with me. People always say you’re good at everything, but they don’t see how hard you work to earn it. I respect you so much for that.” You play with his fingers- somehow long and delicate, but strong at the same time- and lace them together.

“I love your nose,” you continue, pecking the tip.

“But-”

“No interruptions, Jungkook” you hold up a hand, effectively cutting him off. “I know you’ve always thought it was a little too big and round when we were younger, but it shows how much you’ve grown into yourself over the years. You are so sexy- both on the stage and off.”

You pull back in time to see him fighting down a shy smile at your praise. “Besides, a man should have a big nose,” you wink. Unable to hide his toothy smile or blushing cheeks, you continue.

“I love these cheeks,” you say, planting sloppy kisses over his face. “When you smile - a real, genuine smile- your whole face lights up. I hope our children inherit that.”

You plant more against the beauty marks on the bridge of his nose and under his lip, on the faint scar high on his cheek. “So beautiful,” you murmur against his skin.

“These are my favorite lips. You were the first man that I believed when you told me you loved me.” You press your lips against his, kissing him gently. Tilting your head for a better angle, you press forward more ardently, and part your lips further to slide your tongue against his.

When you pull back, Jungkook’s eyes are still closed, face craning forward to chase your kiss. You card your fingers through his hair and push him back enough to look into his eyes again.

Your lips continue their loving path down his face, nipping along his sharp jawline and down his neck, paying special attention to his sensitive pulse point. Jungkook whimpers in appreciation encouraging you to work color into his skin.

“Most of all, I love your heart.” Your arms wrap around his torso, hands caressing up and down his back as your head tips down to press your mouth against his chest, just left of center. “You are patient and kind and romantic. You show me every day what true love means, and I am forever grateful for that. You have all of me, and you always will. And tonight, I want to make you feel good because I love every part of you. Even the parts you don’t particularly like yourself.”

You continue to leave wet kisses along his clavicles and throat making him moan quietly.

“Lay back for me, baby” you say, and he allows you to push him onto his back.

Your body follows him down prone on the bed, allowing your comforting weight to settle atop him and press him into the sheets. Linking your hands, you bring them up to rest by his head. You reconnect and kiss him senseless, lips and tongues moving seamlessly in a dance well practiced over the years. You continue until he’s whining, until you feel him thickening further in his pants.

Lips descending downwards, you continue a fiery trail along his jawline, hands caressing his neck and chest to maximize his pleasure. Evidence of your love blooms down his neck as you continue a path towards his chest. Perched on his lap, you grind against him as you take a nipple between your lips and begin to suck.

“A-ahh fuck”, Jungkook pants as your lips wrap more securely around his pebbled bud, tongue flicking against him. Your other hand rakes along his other pectoral, thumb catching along its twin and you rub circles over him with your thumb. His cock, which had begun to throb when you love bombed him, is now fattening with arousal.

You trail your lips across his chest making sure to provide equal attention to his sensitive buds. Dusky and shining with your saliva, you continue down his abs, licking the contours of his hard earned muscles. Jungkook continues to quietly moan at the sensation of your soft, warm mouth slowly moving south along his body.

Sitting up a bit from his supine figure, you tug down at the band of his sweatpants. “Can I take these off?” you ask, slipping your fingertips into the waistline of his bottoms. He nods his consent and you push them down as he lifts his hips up, effectively removing Jungkook’s remaining piece of clothing.

As you move to stand from his lap, he immediately sits up as if pained by any distance between your bodies. You give him one last, sweet kiss on the mouth before settling down on your knees between his spread legs. His cock, perfectly framed between powerful thighs, is hardening rapidly and attempting to defy gravity as it bobs in the space between your bodies. Licking your lips at the sight of his leaking length, you settle on the floor and reach for his base.

“Hold on” he says, stopping you to reach across the bed and pulling his pillow from under the covers offering it to you for comfort. Your heart swells at his consideration and you accept it gratefully. You place it under your knees for an added cushion and make yourself comfortable on the ground.

Maintaining eye contact you run your hands up and down his thick thighs letting your fingernails lightly scratch along the sensitive skin there. Each pass brings you closer and closer to his cock, subtly twitching in eagerness to feel you wrapped around him. Keeping your eyes locked on his, you wrap a hand around his base and feel him harden fully in your grasp. Bringing your lips down to his weeping tip, you run your tongue up and down his slit, then slowly in a circle around the engorged head leaving a ring of precum and saliva in your wake.

“F-uuuck” Jungkook keens as you continue to tease him with your tongue. “Please. More, please.”

Your lips immediately close around him, surrounding his throbbing cock with the wet heat of your mouth and begin to suck tasting his musky flavor. Popping off, you run your tongue up and down to spread moisture along his shaft; your hand will have to cover what your throat cannot take. He is not profoundly large, but he is more than thick and long enough to satisfy you.

Unable to mask his desire, Jungkook pants as your mouth works up and down his rigid length. You take him as deep as you can tolerate, gagging lightly when you feel him slide down the back of your throat with each pass. The hand not grasping his base is rubbing soothing circles along his hip and inner thigh, amplifying his pleasure.

“Mmm yeah, you’re doing so g-good,” he groans as you continue bobbing, hand furiously pumping whatever won’t fit in your mouth. He weaves his fingers into your hair, encouraging you to take him deeper into the depths of your throat. Eyes starting to water, his other hand wipes at the tears in your lash line as you continue to enthusiastically blow him.

Jungkook’s volume steadily increases along with the pace of your mouth and hand as you work over his cock. You continue to suck him off sending white hot pleasure through his veins. “Oh shit- shit.” Jungkook stops you as his impending orgasm begins to crest. “You need to stop, or I’ll cum” he breathes out. Though your mouth is no longer on him, your hand continues to slowly jerk him off.

“Aren’t you ovulating?” he tries to confirm with you. “I need to put it in you,” he insists, teeth clenching together as your hand glides up and down the full length of his dick twisting your wrist with each upstroke.

“Tonight is all about you - about us,” you shake your head. “I want to make you feel good. Can I do that?” you ask as your other hand travels from his hip to cup and gently fondle his balls.

He whimpers in pleasure as you continue to stroke him.

“Do you want to cum in my mouth tonight, baby?” you purr. No longer able to formulate a coherent sentence, he nods his head aggressively.

“Good boy,” you tease with a smirk. Your mouth returns to his cock and joins the hand pumping his shaft. Years of learning each other’s bodies has taught you the tell tale signs of your husband’s orgasms and you can tell he’s close. Very close.

Hollowing out your cheeks, you apply the suction you know he has never been able to resist. You’re determined to suck his soul from his body, gripping him firmly as you furiously work his throbbing length exactly the way you know he likes. Your mouth focuses on his mushroomed head, lips sealed around the tip and tongue lapping against the sensitive frenulum.

Jungkook desperately tries to stave off his release to linger in the wet heat of your mouth. It’s been a while since he’s allowed himself to finish down your throat and he wants to savor it. “Ah, I’m so mad that you’re so good at this” he groans, earning a muted giggle from you. Stuffed full of cock, the vibration sends a thrill up his spine.

You know Jungkook’s cumming before he can warn you. It starts with a subtle lifting of his balls as they prepare to empty into your eager mouth. Eyes squeezed shut and moaning wantonly, he chants your name over and over as he begins to orgasm. You continue your determined ministrations as his shaft pulses in your grasp.

“Hmmmph- ahh, fuck yes! Oh fuck, so good,” Jungkook whimpers as ribbons of cum burst across your tongue and hit the back of your throat. You quickly swallow his load as he erupts into your mouth. You continue stroking and sucking Jungkook through his high, helping him ride it out until he gently pushes you away when he feels the burn of overstimulation.

“Good?” you smile up at him and let go of his wilting length to lick at a stray bit of cum from your thumb. You wipe off the remaining spit on your shirt.

“Amazing,” he replies, smiling dazedly down at you.

You allow him to pull you from the ground up onto the bed with him, laughing when your knees pop loudly in the quiet of the room as you stand up. Giggling, you curl up against his side listening as his heart rate evens out to a steady rhythm. You can't be bothered to care that his skin is tacky with a light sheen of sweat.

You lay against Jungkook for a few minutes as he basks in the afterglow of a powerful orgasm. He pulls you tighter against him, tipping his head down to kiss you for a blow job-well-done. Tasting the residual flavor of his cum, he groans against your mouth, enjoying your combined essences.

Jungkook rolls you onto your back, continuing to kiss you with fervor. The sound of lips and tongues clashing fill the room as the two of you enjoy the simple intimacy of being together. Reaching down, Jungkook spreads your legs apart to make room for him to lay comfortably between your thighs.

“W-what,” you’re breathless as his lips leave your mouth and travel down your jaw.

“Mmm,” he mumbles against your skin. “It’s your turn now.” He nibbles along your sensitive neck, goosebumps rising with his light touch.

You run your fingertips up and down his back, scratching along the peaks and valleys of his spine. Leaning his weight into one arm, he uses the other to push up the hem of your shirt, ghosting a hand under to cup a breast. He palms greedily at the flesh as he continues to kiss you passionately.

“I wanna see you,” says Jungkook. “Can I take this off?” he gestures at his cut-off tank you’re still wearing.

Criss crossing your arms and pulling up by its hem, you bare your chest to Jungkook’s eager eyes. His gaze drops down to admire the bouncing of your tits as you wiggle out of your top. Propping up on his elbows, he ducks his head to capture a nipple between his petal soft lips, coaxing it into a stiff peak with gentle suction and the lapping of his tongue. When your back arches in pleasure and you clutch his head to you, Jungkook takes the opportunity to slide his arms under you to hold you securely to his mouth as he worships at the altar of your breasts.

“Baby, yes, you’re so good to me” you pant, feeling your arousal generously leak from your core.

Eyes closed and relishing in the sensation, you whimper, sending one hand to grip his long, dark locks and feeling the prickle of his freshly trimmed undercut. With a hand in his mane, you feel him unlatch from your tight bud to plant wet open mouthed kisses around your areola and across your chest. He stops over your heart, lips lingering to feel the rapid thumping rattle your sternum.

Generous with his attention, he moves to nip and suck around your neglected breast. He slurps your nipple into his eager mouth, tongue swirling to tease it to a hard peak. Jungkook's diligent stimulation of your breasts sends sparks of pleasure down to your cunt as he continues to lap at your pebbled beds.

“More, please,” you whine, bucking your hips upwards, hoping to encourage him to touch you where you need it most.

Hearing you beg so prettily for him slowly coaxes life back into his spent cock. He feels himself begin to swell again against your thigh. Pleasuring you has always been incredibly arousing for him, and he knows with a several more minutes of rest, he’ll be ready to fuck you senseless.

Pulling an arm out from under your torso, Jungkook leans his weight onto one elbow and sends his free hand down between your legs to the treasure between your thighs. His lips pursed around your nipple continues to suckle and tease you into a frenzy.

The room fills with sounds of your mewling and his blunted goans as he plays the familiar song of your body. His hands brush against the soft black lace as he spreads your legs, positioning you to his liking.

“So wet,” Jungkook acknowledges with a quirk of his lips, fingers swiping along your slit to feel for your arousal. Bringing those fingers towards his mouth, he sucks your essence from his fingertips, savoring your taste. Jungkook switches nipples again and his fingers, now slickened with his saliva, return to the warmth of your pussy.

You gasp when you feel him caress at your opening before sinking a lone finger into your tight, wet heat. Jungkook can’t help but grunt as he feels your walls clench around him, excited to feel it around his growing erection.

“It’s all for you baby,” you praise him, carding your fingers through his fringe and pushing his hair back to get a better view of him suckling at your breast. Your breath hitches when you feel him add a second finger, stretching you open with his long, tattooed digits and curling them against your g-spot.

“Mmm yes- ahh. Fuck me with them,” you plead. Lacking the power to drive you towards an orgasm, he teases you with sensual strokes until your cunt drips down your ass and his fingers come out sparkling with your arousal. Completely at his mercy, you feel Jungkook slow down further. Brat.

You’re writhing beneath him as he continues his personal brand of slow, pleasurable torture. His lips release your tender nipple and return to your open mouth attempting to swallow your moans.

“Fuck me harder, please, I need it harder.” you beg, hoping to convince him to finger you to completion. Despite your request, Jungkook stops thrusting completely, opting to curl his fingers and rubbing softly against your g-spot while grinding the heel of his palm just off center from your pulsing clit. Your eyes are closed, but you can feel his gaze on your visage committing your whining and fucked out expression to memory. You’re being uncharacteristically pliant for him tonight- a change that he is very much enjoying. He files it under ‘spank bank material’ for when Beyond ultimately goes back on tour.

“Please, baby, make me cum. I’m so close.” you try one last time. You’re panting and desperate for release.

“You’re not cumming tonight unless it’s on my cock,” he grits out. His fingers stay hooked inside you, caressing at your sensitive front wall. Jungkook’s mouth returns to suckling at your pebbled bud and he slowly fucks you open with his fingers. Your cunt quivers and leaks with your arousal, but without the thrusting or clitoral stimulation, you won’t be cumming anytime soon.

“But how-” you glance down, not expecting his nearly fully erect cock. Pleasuring you had sparked his arousal again, the sounds of your approval and sight of your wet pussy glistening with desire has encouraged him back towards full mast. Licking your lips at his growing girth, you push his hand from your core to collect some of your personal lubricant. You wrap your slicked up fingers around his length jacking him to his full potential.

“Uunffff- ok, ok. Hold on,” he says, reaching out into your bedside table for lube. You hear Jungkook uncap the small bottle and are eager to feel him deep inside you. Quickly flipping onto your front, you prop yourself on your elbows and knees, presenting your husband with your sloppy, swollen cunt- a soundless request imploring him to fuck you from behind.

“I want to feel you deep,” you reason and unable to resist you, Jungkook agrees. Eyes glued to the way your crotchless panties have dampened with your cream, he spreads a generous glob of lube up and down his cock. He wipes the remainder against your labia and rubs some onto your clit making you mewl out for him. He wipes off the residue on your sheets. You’ll have to wash that later.

Taking a moment to admire his view, his hands caress over your hips and ass. “Are you ready?” Jungkook asks, always so considerate of your needs.

You nod and delirious with lust, you reach between your legs for him, sliding his bulbous tip up and down your slit before pushing your hips back to take him into your awaiting passage. Jungkook descends down creating a canopy with his body, sheltering you with the physical representation of his love. Jungkook’s hands find yours, lacing his calloused palms to the backs of your hands, fingers interlocking. With light pressure, he encourages you to lay your front down onto the bed. He nudges your knees further apart, propping you ass high in the air.

Positioned to his liking, he takes his first stroke into your eager cunt. Despite his diligent fingering, the fit is still tight, and you feel the initial pinch as he breaches you. You both release matching moans upon your coupling, and you already know you won’t last long after enduring Jungkook's extensive foreplay. He sets a slow pace plunging deep into your velvet heat.

“Harder, Kook, I’m already so close.” you puff into the sheets, turning your head as far as possible to watch your lover as he takes you from behind. “Please,” you rasp.

No longer denying your release, Jungkook thrusts faster, snapping his hips powerfully with the intent of getting you off. His cock hammers into you and you’re helpless underneath him to do anything but take it. He can already feel you tightening around him deliciously and lets go of one hand to reach down between your legs. With two fingers, Jungkook rubs tight circles around your clit while he continues to drill into your cunt which is just what you need to finally cum.

“Oh, fuck! Ah- ah-ah, Jungkook!” you chant. Your hands furiously grip the sheets trying to hold onto something to ground you as your high threatens to pull you under. Legs quaking and pussy fluttering around him, your walls contract rhythmically around his turgid length as he continues to rigorously fuck you through your orgasm.

Jungkook whines at the sensations gripping his cock, but pulls out of your spent heat to spare you from the sting of overstimulation. Any other night, he may have considered fucking you into a second orgasm, but tonight feels different. Tonight, he wants to make ardent love to you.

Without Jungkook’s strong frame to hold you up, you crumble limp against the bed. Your ears ring with the aftermath of a good round of fucking. It takes a second to register that he is speaking.

“Can you take more?” he asks. Confused, you look down and see that he’s still painfully hard. Oh. His erection is glossy with your juices, shining as it bobs between his well-muscled thighs.

“Fuck- yes,” you quickly consent to him.

Jungkook swiftly rolls you onto your back again and sits up on his knees between your spread thighs. “I love you in these, but I want to see all of you,” he rasps, tugging at your ruined panties and pulling them off while his eyes stay glued on your saturated folds. Climbing back up your body, he spreads your legs wider and leans forward bringing his cock to your core. You look down to watch him steadily thrust his length against your slit, bumping against your clit on the upstrokes.

Wanting to draw out his teasing, he grips his slickened base and slaps his dick against your slippery folds. Each wet smack sends waves of electric pleasure through your system as Jungkook works you back up. “Just fuck me, baby. I’m ready.” you insist. Your gaze trails up, meeting his heated stare.

“I want you to keep your eyes on me when I make love to you,” he says, voice dropping an octave. When you nod in understanding, he catches his tip against your entrance and pushes back into your ripe, warm cunt. Your legs immediately wrap around his trim waist pulling him closer and encouraging him to brace the weight of his upper body on his hands. Your ankles interlock against the base of his spine to bring him deeper.

Jungkook starts with long, slow strokes, pulling nearly all the way out of you before feeding his cock back into your sopping pussy. Going slow enough for you to feel every ridge of his throbbing length, he impales you over and over.

Your back arches in pleasure and you have to fight to keep your eyes open for him. Wanting him closer, you greedily reach your hands up to pull him down closer to you, forcing him to drop to his elbows as he continues to give it to you slow and deep.

Jungkook braces on his forearms and cradles your head. He tilts your chin up to align with his intense gaze as he continues to plow into you. Brow furrowed and eyes locked, your husband watches your dazed and needy expressions while his body and mind make love to yours.

He’s always so good to you. Devoted and adoring. You’re suddenly struck with the reminder that this beautiful man is yours. Always has been. Always will be. And tonight is a good time to remind Jungkook how deeply you love him. A fear of commitment used to hold you back, but he peeled back your layers and showed you that love didn’t have to hurt. You haven’t been afraid since. Jungkook has the whole of your heart.

“How did I get so lucky?” you say, reaching up to caress his jaw as he continues to thrust into your depths. “I’m sorry I lost sight of us,” you stutter trying to sound coherent as your husband diligently sinks his thickness into you again and again. “I never meant for you to feel-”

“- I know. And I’m sorry I didn’t communicate better, I just- I’m working on it,” Jungkook cuts you off. He knows this is a two way street.

“We don’t have to try anymore if you aren’t ready. Pull out and I’ll suck you off again” you offer. If Jungkook isn’t 100% in, you aren’t either.

“No, I want it. I’m ready for our love to create something beautiful and for everything that comes after that.”

You moan, eyes closing briefly, as Jungkook begins to pick up the pace. The increase in friction against your walls is quickly bringing you towards the edge again. An unexpectedly fierce pump of his hips has you gasping in delight.

“I said-,” Jungkook grunts with another sharp thrust, “-eyes on me, baby.” You pry your eyes open, surprised by his display of dominance and try not to squeal.

Jungkook reaches one hand down to tilt your pelvis back further and you lock your legs up higher on his frame allowing him to shove a pillow under your ass. The new position brings your clit directly under his pubic bone. When he slams back down to stuff you full, he grinds deliciously against you, making you nearly scream out in ecstasy.

“I love you,” you whisper in earnest. “I love you so much,” you moan as Jungkook begins to pound you into the sheets. You’re both quickly unraveling, approaching another high, bodies tingling with impending release. When your thighs begin shaking around him for the second time tonight, he picks up the pace filling the room with a symphony of your euphoria.

Breaking your eye contact briefly, Jungkook looks down at the juncture of your connection and is enthralled by the visual- his cock coming out foamy with your cream and slamming back into your weeping pussy. Groaning, he suddenly feels the sharp sting of your nails raking down his back as you’re overcome with pleasure.

“Come on, babe. Cum on my fucking cock,” Jungkook grunts, urging you towards completion. With your hips canted deliciously, he continues to ram directly against your g-spot.

“Oh fuck, it’s so good. I’m so close,” you babble, feeling Jungkook push deeper against you to stimulate your pulsing clit. Hands clutching your husband and thighs trembling, your eyes slip closed as you finally succumb to his endeavors. You cum with a silent scream, head tilted back and throat exposed as your walls spasm uncontrollably. The wild contracting of your pussy squeezing his cock triggers Jungkook’s own release. His length throbs desperately within your walls as you coax him towards his end.

“Ahh, I- I’m holy shit- I’m cumming, too” Jungkook whines as he climaxes with breathy whimpers, exploding as he fills you with streams of his ejaculate. He thrusts as deep as he can get while his length continues to spurt inside you, shallowly rutting to ride out his high.

Panting, he collapses his weight into your waiting arms. “Oof,” you grunt as you feel your husband’s sweaty and spent body pin you against the bed. You let him rest against you for a while, content to feel the warm fullness of his cock and spunk nestled deep inside you.

“Can I stay inside?” he asks shyly. “I just wanna hold you.” You smile and Jungkook holds you close and carefully rolls under you so you can comfortably lay against him. With his arms wound around your waist and your thighs spread wide with his dick sheathed inside you, he ensures maximal skin contact.

Seeing his blissed out face, you giggle as the two of you revel in your post-coital afterglow. His spent length slowly softens letting some of his cum leak from your used hole onto him and the sheets below. You’re definitely going to have to wash these.

Your fingers find their way into his hair, scratching along his scalp and pushing back his long locks to expose the sexy undercut hiding beneath. Jungkook’s eyes are still closed, but he still leans his face forward knowing you’ll meet his lips with your own. The two of you make out for a little longer, savoring the intimacy shared in your little bubble.

Jungkook clings to you, preening at your gentle caress and basking in his favorite form of aftercare. Your cunt is runny with lube and your combined releases, but you’re too content to lay with Jungkook in your arms to clean up just yet. You lie wrapped around each other for a few more minutes, mindlessly kissing at his face and neck, whispering praises for his performance.

It’s quiet for a long moment, and assuming he must have fallen asleep as he tends to do after a vigorous round of love making, you attempt to unwind your limbs from his. Grumbling, he tightens his hold around you, preventing you from getting far.

“Jungkook,” you warn with a laugh, “I have to get cleaned up.”

“Mmm not yet, hold me a little longer” he requests as he burrows deeper in your embrace.

Sighing, you relent, slowly dozing off with your husband in your arms.

_______________________________________________

When you wake, you find that you've shifted in your slumber. Jungkook's chest is plastered to your back and he has an arm slung over your waist with a hand curled around one of your tits. The mess between your legs has dried making you cringe when you move to get up. Leaving Jungkook who is slowly stirring, you go to the bathroom to shower.

You step under the spray and let the warm water relax you while you clean off the sweat and unholy mix of bodily fluids from between your thighs. You hum along to the new Beyond the Scene single and sing some of the chorus that you can remember. You exit the shower, wrapping a towel securely around you and return to rouse your sleeping husband.

You find that Jungkook is already awake and sitting against the headboard. “You know, I hope our kid doesn’t inherit your singing voice,” Jungkook cackles, cutting through the silence.

"Why you-," you gasp, tackling him down into the sheets and laughing along with him. You pin him down and pinch at his nipple in retaliation. It’s not long before he’s pulling the towel from your body and rolling you under him to latch his mouth to your cunt. Before the night is over, he delivers another two orgasms and a fresh load. After all, practice makes perfect.

#Jungkook smut #jungkook fanfic #bts fanfic #bts fic #jjk x reader #drummer jungkook au #husband au

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maximons · 3 years ago

Text

All Is Lost

Summary: Zombies have taken over the world, humanity on the edge of extinction. All hope was lost. Despite that, Wanda couldn’t seem to let go of Y/n, who had fallen victim to the plague herself.

Word Count: 2,263

Genre: Angst

Requested?: No

Warnings: Graphic depictions of violence, death, cannibalism, suicide, mentions of blood. Spoilers for Ep. 5 of What If...?

A/N: I know, I know, I’m gonna get into the stuff I promised soon. But for now, the Zombies episode inspired me and this came out. If you haven’t seen the episode yet, go watch it. Its amazing and depressing. Also this is DARK guys, probably the darkest thing I’ve ever written, so...Happy Reading!

The Zombie apocalypse was always something everyone joked about, but never something that anyone could actually predict.

Everything happened so quickly, Wanda could barely keep up. It’s hard to believe that everything was so normal only two weeks ago. Now, she was locked away with Vision in an abandoned military base in New Jersey. Desperate to survive for as long as possible while Vision worked on a cure.

Some of his experiments had been a success, most notably Scott Lang who he was able to revert back from his zombified state. However, the man was now only a severed head.

Despite the success, Vision was less than optimistic. For one, Scott was one of the first infected. While the cure worked on him, the android theorized that the disease has mutated greatly since then, and it was likely impossible to cure everyone. And even if he could, the technology to do so is beyond human comprehension and therefore doesn’t exist.

Vision might have all but given up hope, but Wanda didn’t. She couldn’t. She refused to give up on you.

Wanda and you have been best friends for as long as Wanda had been an Avenger. You were already a member of the team and greeted her with an open mind and open arms, despite all she had done. You had fire powers, and while your powers weren’t identical to Wanda’s, you still offered some basic tips and tricks to keep such explosive powers at bay.

It wasn’t a surprise that she fell in love with you.

But her stupid fear had to get in the way, and when you came to confess your own feelings for her, she panicked and rejected you. You were so heartbroken, Wanda didn’t need to read your mind to know that.

And it kills her everyday knowing that that was the last interaction she had with you. The last one with you as yourself anyway.

All that remained now was the flesh hungry, blood thirsty monster that wore your, now rotting, skin.

This wasn’t you, she knows that. She looked into your mind and saw no trace of the woman you once were, the one she loved with all her heart. She couldn’t feel you, you were gone.

Despite this, Wanda couldn’t let you go. She couldn’t handle losing you entirely. She already lost almost everyone.

She managed to convince Vision to keep you in the base for testing. You were locked behind a large steel door, with only a window to see you through. But you were here, and that’s all Wanda cared about.

The cure wasn’t working for you. Your powers caused it to incinerate when it entered your system, proving it to be ineffective. Still, she refused to give up.

Vision thought it best to terminate you after the failed tests, but Wanda begged him not to. Knowing he couldn’t overpower her, and sensing his friend’s distress with anything that comes to you, he agreed. As long as Wanda had it under control.

She doubted he knew that she was luring innocent survivors into the base so you could feed on them, but she did what she had to do.

Wanda spent most of her days sitting outside of your cell. The first few days, you were ravenous. Banging on the walls and trying to burn them down, growling and screeching with the inhuman noise that took over your vocal chords, but you didn’t manage to break free. After a while, it seemed you have given up, and just sat in place. Only moving when Wanda opened the cell and let some of your ‘food’ in.

There were times where Wanda thought that maybe, just maybe, the cure was working more than they thought. You seemed to have recognized her, your facial expressions formed into ones that she had recognized and missed dearly. But that hope quickly died when she would peek into your head and still sense nothing.

“Hey, Y/n.” Wanda walked up to outside your cell and sat cross-legged like she did everyday. Your head rose, staring at her with your now glowing yellow eyes. “Still no progress on the cure, but don’t worry, I’m not giving up yet.” You offered no response, not that she expected one. “It’s hard. It’s only getting worse out there...” She sighed as she trailed off. She raised her hand to the glass, like she always did. “I’m going to figure it out...we’re gonna get you back to normal, and I’m going to tell you every day how much I love you. I miss you so much, but...we’re almost there. I can feel it...” Wanda’s voice started choking up, as tears ran down her face. “We deserve our happy ending.”

Her hand was still pressed against the glass as she finished her speech. She was about to lower it, but then something unexpected happened. You stared at her hand curiously, beginning to raise your own. Wanda watched, smile forming on her face as your arm made it’s way to the glass.

“Wanda! Please come here, we have a situation.” You had almost pressed your hand against Wanda’s, when Vision’s voice interrupted. Your attention turned to the direction it came from and you let out a growl, clearly angry at the interruption. Wanda sighed in disappointment, but she tried not to let it take over. You still showed massive improvement, something worth reporting back to Vision. “It’s okay.” She soothed you. “I’m going to go see what he wants then I’ll be right back, okay? I know you’re hungry, I’ll get you some food too.” You didn’t offer a response as she walked off.

“Vis! I have to tell you-” Wanda began as she walked into the main room, but cut herself off at the new faces. She didn’t recognize the bald woman with the spear or the wimpy looking man in a workers uniform, but she was familiar with Peter. What surprised her most though, was Bruce Banner. A man she hasn’t seen in over three years. “What is going on?”

“I ran into them outside the premises. Apparently word has gotten out about the cure.” Vision answered before turning his attention back to the guests. “As I told you, I am afraid we cannot help you. The cure seems to be a moot point.”

“Well, what about-” Peter began, but he was interrupted by a new voice.

“For something you have no hope for, you sure don’t have a problem bringing in new test subjects.” Wanda recognized Bucky Barnes’ voice. She turned around, and her eyes widened as she saw King T’challa on his arm, struggling to stand on his one remaining leg.

Shit.

“My king! We thought you dead.” The bald woman exclaimed in relief and surprise.

“Your highness. I was not aware you were in the base.” Vision said, confused on how that got by him. It didn’t take him long to figure out why. “Wanda...”

“I’m sorry.” Wanda whispered, knowing she was caught. “The cure wasn’t working on Y/n, and in order to keep her at bay, I had to feed her.”

“So you fed her our King?” A spear was raised to her throat, threateningly.

“It was nothing personal, I promise. I have her under control and the cure is starting to work, I know it. We just need a little more time!”

“Why not just kill her? You lured innocent people to their deaths just for her when there a couple million more Zombies out there that you could use for testing. Ones that have a chance of being cured.” The whole room went quiet after Bucky said that.

“Uh oh. Shouldn’t have said that.” Wanda heard Scott say, but she was too busy glaring at Bucky. Her eyes started to go red, but before she could do anything, she noticed the spear held to her throat begin to glow red and melt. The woman dropped the spear as it began to burn her hands.

“Did it just suddenly get like, super hot?” Peter asked as he began to fan himself.

“Oh no...” Wanda trailed off. She looked up to notice the steal walls that led to your cell begin to melt. “You’ve done it now...she hasn’t eaten in days.” Before anyone could respond, the steel doors melted completely. The man in the uniform was unfortunate enough to be standing in front of it, as a strong burst of flame shot out and incinerated him on the spot. Only a second later, you flew out the door, covered in flames as you hovered above everyone.

Wanda watched in horror as you began to fight everyone. They weren’t holding up very well, and that’s when Wanda finally realized what she had done. This wasn’t you, and if you were still here, you would hate to see your body be used to attack and kill others.

“Vision! Get us out of here!” She heard Bruce yell, and Vision shot a blast towards the wall, blowing it up and letting everyone out. Wanda turned her focus back to you, you watched them starting to escape and you began to fly after them, but a red mist surrounded you before you could. You turned your head, starting to growl, but stopped when you saw it was Wanda.

“Y/n. Stop...” You tilted your head, still struggling to move as Wanda came closer. She took a chance and reached up, gently placing a hand on your face. “I am so sorry...you never deserved this...” Your face softened at the touch, beginning to show the signs of emotion that Wanda desperately held onto. However, it was clear now that it was too late.

You snapped out of it, as you managed to break free from Wanda’s hold. You opened your mouth wide, intent on biting and feeding on her, but something stopped you. You hesitated, and Wanda noticed. You settled for pushing her aside to the ground as you reignited yourself and flew out of the base.

Wanda picked herself up after a moment, intent on stopping you. She ran past Okoye’s body, charred and eaten, but she was sure there was little time until she turned. She ran faster to where you were, now facing off against Bucky. She sprinted further, about to take off and fly when she paused.

Vision was face down on the ground. She kneeled next to him, glowing red hand turning over his body, afraid of what she’ll see. Once he was turned, Wanda gasped at the sight. The mind stone was torn out of his head.

“Oh no...no, no, no...” She held his body, tears slowly building as she mourned the loss of her best friend. She had officially lost everything. “I am so sorry Vis...I’m going to make this right, I promise.”

She heard Bucky scream. She looked over to see you start to feed on him. She saw Bruce, Peter, Scott and T’challa in the distance, making their way to the jet. They were your next target.

No. Wanda wasn’t going to let that happen. It ends now.

She used her powers to propel herself forward, landing directly in your path. You growled at her yet again as she used her powers to hold you. “Y/n...please, stop.” You struggled to get out of the hold, but Wanda held on. “This isn’t you...you wouldn’t want this...I love you more than anything, and I’m so sorry...I hope one day, you’ll forgive me.”

Wanda used her powers to grab the gun laying by Bucky’s side. She held in to your head, ready to pull the trigger...but she couldn’t. She let out a scream of frustration and dropped her hold on both you and the gun. The gun fell to the ground, but you haven’t moved.

“I can’t do it...I...I’m not strong enough...” Wanda began crying, shutting her eyes and waited for you to finish her off. She failed everyone, no one deserved death more than her. She opened her eyes when nothing came. You stood, staring at her with a tilt of your head. The yellow of your eyes dimming as you stared.

“W....Wan...” You struggled to let out, but it was enough for Wanda to hear. She cried even harder. She was right, you were almost there...but it was too late now.

You took in your surroundings as best you could, you didn’t have a lot of awareness, but you knew enough to piece everything together. You saw the influx of zombies starting to enter to base. Everyone needed to get away. You turned back to Wanda, and you knew what you had to do. You felt the little control you had start to slip away.

You bent down and picked up the discarded gun. You shakily pointed it to your temple, the control slipping away faster and faster. “Love....you....I...sorry...” You managed to croak out. Before you could lose control completely, you pulled the trigger.

Wanda watched in horror as you shot yourself in the head. Pieces of your brain landing on her, your blood drenching her. She looked down to see your body, half your face still together, but you were gone. Truly gone.

She knelt down sobbing, as she held your body. After a moment she looked up to see the Hulk appear as the zombies began to overwhelm the base. She saw the jet take off, and she gave a weak smile. They got away. Wanda’s job was done. This is where her story ends. All was lost for her.

So when the zombies finally reached her, she didn’t fight back. Accepting her death with open arms.

Epilogue

#wanda maximoff #wanda maximoff imagine #wanda maximoff x reader #wanda maximoff x you

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handemiyyy · 3 years ago

Text

Nothing is black and white. Not even the things we judge to be the simplest such as a “are you a night owl or an early bird?” question. For every answer, for every action, behind it lies a very complex reason for why you picked a determined answer. In life, it’s the same. Things are multicolored, multifaceted and depending of a handful of factors combined that will impulse someone to take a certain action or opt for a certain answer. It really has put me into a lot of thinking when I found out the plot regarding Sen Çal Kapımı’s season 2, and seeing so many people start to take sides of such complex and delicate situation made me wonder that maybe people were not seeing the full picture, maybe they were seeing a plain image instead of the 3D situation presented to them.

If you know the characters’ story, you understand both Eda and Serkan’s actions are totally characteristic of them and correct in their own way. I’ll assume if you’re reading this you have knowledge of that, so I shall skip to the present situation and plot: Eda and Serkan broke up and stayed 5 years apart, but this turn in their love story has a bittersweet exception. Their child, Kiraz. Which Serkan does not know of.

EDA

Eda was asked to leave. After standing by his side through his cancer and thinking she’d finally live the life she dreamed with the love of her life, he broke up with her. They fought a lot, he let it explicit he’d never have a family, he closed himself to the world, to Eda, he resetted back to the robot-mode workaholic burying himself in projects that he forgot life. The life he had with Eda. His behavior affected her as well, that closed off too, and although they were together, they kept distancing from each other every day a little more. Until they saw that there was no point in that relationship. Eda shows that after 5 years his words and cold behaviour towards her still hurts her deeply, even making the analogy that she’s “just a toy” for him (ep 2 in the conversation scene with Burak). From her perspective, he decided to throw their years and relationship in the trash because he was the heartless insensitive man he was when they first met. Imagine you invest so much of yourself to someone just for this person to turn to you and tell you he doesn’t want to hear from you, or have you near. You’d be hurt. Especially after all you’ve been put through to be by his side and live your love freely. It was beyond plausible for her to leave and not look back (okay, Aydan?) and whoever had close insight of their relationship and how it deteriorated would agree with that. There’s only so much a person can handle. It was time Eda put herself first, especially when she was carrying a baby that Serkan supposedly wouldn’t want. She feared rejection, not just for her but for their baby, an innocent unborn child, a consequence of their love that was not the same anymore. He had said in her face that he didn’t want children, so she acted out of protectiveness for herself and her child. She couldn’t bare him rejecting the child. Maybe he would have changed his mind when she told him that she was pregnant, but she couldn’t have known that. Serkan turned into someone that was unrecognizable, even for Eda. He wasn’t just the cold workaholic we’ve seen in the beginning of the dizi, he was a cold-traumatized workaholic. So she escorted herself out of that relationship and did not think twice to come back around and tell him about the pregnancy when she found out in Italy. It was basically the logic that if he didn’t want her, why would he want her baby?

SERKAN

Serkan had to endure so much. After all the little things that consumed their relationship, after the plane crash, memory loss, he found out he had cancer. There is no way a person would stay the same after going through such awful disease. Serkan’s fear spoke louder than anything else, because he’s always been the kind of person to stay miserable and let her go so she doesn’t deal with the burden of being with him. Serkan’s hypochondria spoke louder telling him he was cured but not safe from cancer, and he couldn’t bare going through or putting Eda through that again. Even worse, leave her widowed. Probably the reason he kept postponing their wedding. During treatment he was still vulnerable, having Eda’s support all the way, trying to stay sane with all the mood changes and occasional insensitive behaviour towards her and everybody else. It cannot be put in words by a person that fortunately never had to go through or witness a person with cancer, but all of his “inconsistency” is more than justified. He never did it on purpose, it was the collateral effects of his disease, psychologically and physically speaking. After beating cancer, things seemed to have a bright future until it hadn’t. Serkan’s self sabotage knocked him down again, making him reset back to his old ways, except this time he had much more baggage and traumas than before. He shut everybody out, even the only person that he let in, and drowned in work, obsessed with “becoming immortal” through his projects. He forgot life, he forgot the love of his life. Not because he wanted to, but because his unconscious wanted to protect himself, and her. What if cancer came back? He knew very much of diseases as a person so worried about his health, he knew there were chances that it would come back. He’s gone through it once and barely survived, he’s seen the state he’s put him and Eda’s relationship through, he felt like a burden more than ever before. He didn’t want to hold her back, he didn’t want to have her stuck with him, taking care of his ill self that wasn’t even sure would make through the cancer treatment. He always felt unworthy of her, imagine now. He didn’t want children, because he feared they’d become fatherless. He didn’t want to set a wedding date, because he feared he’d leave his wife a widow. Or not make her happy. And he knew they weren’t happy. Because once he digged back down on his workaholic hole, he didn’t come back up again. It was stronger than him, he kept pushing her away and burying himself deeper. And she closed off just like him, so they both closed off in their own lonely cocoon and started to slowly become strangers again. Until one day he asked her to leave, and she didn’t see a reason to stay.

—

He told her to leave, he told her to stay far away from him because he wanted to protect her, and most selfishly, himself from more potential pain, suffering and heartbreak. He thought it’d be the less hurtful way (just like the plot of the secret about Eda’s parents accident), except he just made it worse for her. It doesn’t mean he’s a monster, a heartless human or an ungrateful bastard as many people are portraying him to be. It makes him human, it makes him a human with fears and insecurities, too aware of his own mortality and how it would affect the people that were dearest to him. Because when you’re sick, not only you go through stuff, the people around you, the people that loves and cares for you also goes through it all with you, to the point it can affect them personally too. He never came around and explained his reasons, because when he closed off his feelings were shut off. He bottled it all up and never said a thing, leaving Eda thinking the absolute worst of him and that still reflects in her hesitance about him 5 years later with an apparent normal Serkan back in her life. Serkan, now fully recovered and back to being himself, finds Eda again and everything he’s been trying to keep hidden, all the suppressed feelings and unfinished business he’s had with her, came back banging. He can’t let her go, he said it himself at that night talk. He can’t because he still needs to say a lot to her, to apologize to her even though it was NOT his fault. NEVER his fault. Nor hers, for leaving.

Serkan beat cancer years ago, but he never went looking for her. We’ve seen enough of their story and Serkan’s fears to know that he’s always felt that he wasn’t enough for her and that he’s brought to her life only pain, so it’s totally understandable why he never reached to her when he was sane again. He wanted her to be happy and free and she would only be able to do that if she was far away from him. And of course, Eda being hurt wouldn’t want to come back, wouldn’t want to keep in touch with him, so she cut ties entirely. She was on her right to not come to him when she found out about the pregnancy, because she knew he still wasn’t him. He was barely fighting for himself, living for himself, caring for himself, how would he do that for a child? But then he comes back… now what? Eda wants to run away from him, afraid he’d hurt her the way he did before. But he’s not that post-cancer Serkan, he still has the scars and the trauma but you can clearly see that he’s back to being the old Robot Bolat. He’s still closed off, but the initial scare and fear of abandonment disappeared with the passing years of him being healthy again. He sees Eda and he wants to be around her again, because he never truly wanted to part ways with her. Eda hides a secret, a secret she’s not right nor wrong to hide, she just figured it was best. And even in the first moments of him being around, it’s understandable that she wanted to hide the fact she has a child to him, as it may be a huge shock and turn of events. She doesn’t trust him, more precisely his reaction, and she’s unsure of what to expect. She needs him to give her a proof that he’s not the same unstable Serkan she witnessed before she left. She needs him to open up, he needs to open up to her. That is just it, the reason none of them could ever move forward, apart of their ever growing and intense love for each other. They still have a lot that was not talked, that was not finished, they didn’t solve their issues, therefore they didn’t heal.

Tell me how can you blame a mother for choosing her child over any possible heartbreak? How can you blame a woman for walking away after being so emotionally drained and not being able to put up with an exhausting relationship for BOTH of them? How can you blame her for not wanting to live that life with him when he wasn’t putting any effort on their relationship or on his fiancée? How could she guess what he was feeling, what he wanted to say, what were the reasons for his behavior if he closed off and never spoke a word?

Tell me how can you blame a traumatized man with so many complexities for closing off and pushing everybody away in order to not hurt them? How can you blame an hypochondriac man for wanting his beloved to be free from any strings attached to him and his disease because he can’t bare the fact he could possibly die and leave her suffering? How can you blame a human being that has gone through such a traumatic disease and invasive treatment as cancer that affects the whole being, physically and mentally, and transforms them into someone vulnerable and afraid? How can you blame this man for acting the way he did when he’s only done that because of all the fears he’s been accumulating since his childhood, his psychological traumas. How can it be his fault?

Serkan would die for Eda if it didn’t mean she would suffer for his loss.

Eda would be unhappy for eternity if it meant she could stay by Serkan’s side.

They would do anything for each other, and at one way or another, they did. Until their relationship deteriorated and they couldn’t keep going on, because they were losing themselves in an endless looping of traumas and pain. They were together but together they couldn’t do the healing, they were so exhausted they couldn’t heal each other nor themselves, it became unhealthy for them. But beware, it WAS NOT any of them’s fault, it qas just how they were living their lives. Their post-traumatic lives.

Sometimes there’s no right or wrong, there are just different point of views of a certain situation that’s so hard to grasp and so difficult to understand unless you’re personally living it. But trying to put yourself in their shoes also would do.

So please, yeter with the Eda AND SERKAN slander. Both were in their own right.

#sen çal kapımı #sen çal kapimi #edser #eda yildiz #serkan bolat #diziland #turkish shows #sçk #hande erçel #kerem bürsin #edaserkan #eda bolat

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xoxo-teddybear · 4 years ago

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Oh, The Lies You Tell - Bakugou Katsuki - pt.8

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, trauma, abuse, betrayal, fluff, slice of life, smut, cursing, manipulation, possible spoilers, physical harm, 18+, MANGA SPOILERS

Ep. Warnings: ANGST, cursing, manga spoilers

Summary: it’s time for the battle competition! Or so the students of UA think. Just before the battle starts, a portal opens up and chaos is unleashed. Everything would’ve been fine if Dabi hadn’t exposed the truth.

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4 Pt.5 Pt.6 Pt.7 Pt.8 Pt.9

After the long drive, a break, mind-blowing sex, and another long drive, UA has finally made it to the battle competition! The students all marveled in their seats as they looked out the bus windows. The buses for all the schools were parked atop a cliff. The area the students would be participating in was below in and it was nothing but forests, valleys, mountains, rivers, and meadows for miles. This was a race and only the best school and best students will win.

“And welcome to the competition UA,” Aizawa tiredly said. The students all cheered as they exited the bus and stepped foot onto the soft grass. They felt the breeze blowing and felt ready to go. “There’s a building down that path, you can change into your costumes there and wait for further instruction. And Y/N, you won’t be able to be with Rumor on this, so I’ll watch him for the time being. See you all soon.”

The students were excited as they quickly scrambled down the path as Rumor went with Aizawa to wherever.

“Man, after all that time we’re finally here!” Kirishima said. “We’re definitely gonna kick some ass the second we step foot in there,”

“No shit, Shitty Hair. These losers don’t stand a chance,” Bakugou said with a malicious grin. They Bakusquad continued to walk and talk as Bakugou kept his arm around you but he once again noticed your unusual silence.

“Hey..princess, tell me what’s up?” He whispered with a concerned voice. You looked up to him as you snapped out of your haze and stared at him with loving eyes.

“I’m fine Suki...just nervous.” You said with a slight laugh to appear okay. Bakugou took your word for it but still held some concern as he felt somewhere in his heart that there was more to the story.

“About what? You’re one of the best fighters here, you don’t gotta worry about anything. You’ll do great out there Princess. Promise.” He said before he kissed your forehead to reassure you. You gave a nervous laugh as you continued to stare off into space. You were scared.

The league would be coming after you sent the coordinates. Your palms were sweaty and your throat felt dry as you got closer and closer to the assembly building. You wanted to cry so bad for so many reasons. You were lost, you didn’t want anybody to be hurt, you didn’t want the truth exposed....you didn’t want to leave UA...and you didn’t want to leave Bakugou.

Time passed and the others spoke of whatever. You wouldn’t know. You were too busy stressing over the villains upcoming arrival. Class 1-A walked in and took notice of all the schools in the building. Infront of the crowd was a stage and a podium. You felt Bakugou’s grip on you tighten and you laughed as you saw he was looking at all the boys staring at you. You loved your jealous little pomeranian.

Students mumbled and talked amongst each other until a man came up to the podium and addressed everyone.

“Hello students! Welcome to the battle competition, Olympus! Today, all you hero trainees will battle against other schools as you all race to the top of the mountain on the other side of the valley. When you reach the top, there will be people awaiting your arrival to bestow upon you the chalice of victory!” The students cheered at the news and got all riled up. They piped down once the man began to speak again.

“Here’s how this will work. Each class from every school will be given a certain location somewhere out in the field. Don’t worry, it’ll all be at an equal difficulty and distance from the finish line so there’s no advantage for anybody. Once you hear the gun go off, you will all run through the wild to get to the top. Maps will be passed out to each of you right now and along with that, a badge that each of you will get that will tell everyone what team/class you’re apart of and it will connect you and your teammates to one team. Now, classes MUST stick together and everyone must arrive at the same time. Along with the obstacles of nature, some of you will fall into certain traps. There are markings placed at random in the field and once a member of the class steps into it, you will wait until another class gets trapped and you shall battle. Winners get to move on and continue the race. The competition will last for 3 days and if you haven’t made it to the finish line by the morning of the 4th, you must remain where you are so that we can find you and track you by your badge. Everybody clear?”

Students cheered once more as a way of agreement and got ready. “Good. All of you will be directed to the changing areas. There’s over 4,000 stalls, gender is separated, and each student will be able to get their own changing area. Put on your hero costumes and head to your class’s assigned location. Good luck to you all.”

Students got rowdy as they all began to leave the room. You and the Bakusquad stayed and talked for a bit before you kissed Bakugou and left to put on your costume.

You got to your own stall and quickly changed. As you finished you looked in the mirror. You, a villain, dressed as a hero. Comical. But yet, you smiled at the new look. You felt that it really suited you. You snapped out of your gaze and went to the earring hidden in your bag.

“Hello? Can anyone hear me?” You whispered softly into the earring. A minute passed before Shigaraki answered.

“Tell me the coordinates.” You bit your lip in hesitation. Was this really what you wanted to do? You held a shaky breath as you spoke

“43.5647 to 12.8499.”

“See you soon.” And just like that, the call was over. You released a deep sigh in regret and anxiety as you gathered your things and walked to the given location. There you met with all your classmates and Bakugou. He welcomed you with open arms as he pulled you in for an embrace.

“Hey Princess. Everyone already discussed a plan so I’ll fill you in on the way,” He said after he pecked your forehead. Oh his sweet kisses. One of the things you’ll dearly miss when you have to go your separate ways.

“Hi....” Bakugou once again held a frown and concerned stare as your unusual behavior kicked back in. He held you tighter as he tilted your head up by your chin and gave you a loving kiss. He pressed his forehead against yours as your head was still tilted towards the sky.

“What’s wrong Y/N?...Please,” he begged. He knew something had been wrong for awhile and now he was desperate for an answer. You held your breath as you stared at him with sad eyes and a fallen jaw. You squeezed your E/C eyes shut as you shook your head to the ground and placed it against his chest.

“Katsuki, I have to tell you somethi-“

*BANG!*

That was it. The sound of the start of the race. Students began running to the forest and you sighed as you realized this was destiny trying to tell you to not go. You shook off your nerves as you looked towards Katsuki.

“It’s okay, you can tell me later. C’mon,” he said as he grabbed your hand and began to run but with the first step that you took, your eyes glowed and you didn’t see Katsuki or the competition anymore. It was bright and white and all you could see was Korra’s angry face as her eyes also glowed.

“TELL HIM THE TRUTH Y/N!” She yelled with the voices of all the other avatars. Your eyes filled with tears as they shut again and you shook your head.

“I can’t! I’m sorry!” You cried out.

“CHOOSE THE RIGHT PATH!”

“I-I can’t! I don’t know what to do anymore!”

“Y/N!”

...

“Y/N!......Y/N!” Bakugou said as he shook you. Out of nowhere your eyes glowed and you froze in your tracks. Bakugou stopped running when he didn’t feel you follow him and when he looked back he did everything he could to snap you out of your avatar state. After a minute you finally settled and your eyes returned back to normal. You fell into his arms as your groaned in exhaustion.

“Katsuki....?” You softly spoke out as he held you against his chest.

“Are you okay?! What’s wrong?!” He frantically asked. The competition completely left his mind as he shifted his everything to you.

“I’m...im fine. It was just..Korra. She..spoke to me.” You explained.

“Are you okay? Do you need to sit?” He offered as he attempted to walk you to a tree stump so you could rest but you stopped him.

“No, no it’s fine Katsuki....we have to do this competition..” you said with stern eyes.

“No Y/N, I think you shoul-“

“Katsuki.” He looked at you and noticed your serious tone and strong grip as you held onto his arms. “Please.”

“.....okay.” And so you both ran to catch up with your class. You strained and shook off your headache as you thought about your past choices. Fear bubbled up inside of you as you looked towards Katsuki. He seemed focused on the task at hand and so you followed. What you didn’t realize was that under his cool, composed cover, he was nervous. He wanted you to be okay, it was all he yearned for but he also wanted to give you whatever you desired so if going through with the stupid race was what you wanted, then your wish is his command.

You both finally caught up with the class and out of nowhere, a trap was sprung. Denki had stepped into a red zone and all of 1-A’s badges glowed as the ground crumbled beneath them and they all fell into some arena in a cavern. The students plopped onto the ground, some on top of each other, as they all coughed from the dust and examined the area.

“You okay Princess?” Bakugou asked.

“I’m fine Suki,” you reassured him.

“What the hell Dunce Face?! Why didn’t you watch where you were going?!” Bakugou screamed at the poor blonde.

“Cool it man,” Bakugou’s best friend had said as he hooked his arms under Bakugou’s to keep him from attacking the electric boy. “Kaminari didn’t know what the traps looked like. None of us did so it’s good that we can identify them now. All we have to do is wait for another class to fall into another trap so we can fight ‘em and win”

“We’re losing time! Now we have to wait for some dumbasses and if nobody shows up, we’re stuck here! Like losers!” Bakugou said as he huffed and plopped on his ass to the ground infront of Y/N as he placed his chin in his hand. Y/N placed her hands on his shoulders to calm him.

“Kirishima is right, there’s hundreds of kids here and nobody who hasn’t sprung a trap knows what they look like. Somebody is bound to fall down here soon,” you reassured your angry boyfriend. Some of the class settled until a few minutes later, a voice spoke up.

“That you are correct, little mouse. Your opponents are here, but it’s not who you’d be expecting.”

Your eyes shot forward as you recognized the voice.

“Oh no...” you whispered and took your hands off of Bakugou as you stood straight. Everyone turned towards you as they watched you tremble.

“Princess, are you okay?” Bakugou asked as he stood up and held your hands.

“She’s fine blondie. She just knows what’s coming like the smart little puppet she is,” Shigaraki said as he stepped out of the shadows. The class shook and stilled at his appearance and got into defensive positions. The rest of the league popped out of the shadows and the class looked in confusion as they spoke on their concerns.

“What they hell are they doing here?!”

“What’s going on?”

“Should we get help?” The class all asked aloud. You shook off your nerves as you took your hands out of Bakugou’s as he looked at you in worry. You clapped your hands as a gust of wind hit everyone to bring their attention onto you. It was silent as everyone watched you speak.

“..Where are the actual opponents? What did you do to the students?” You shakenly asked. Dabi smirked as he walked back into the shadows and then returned before tossing an unconscious body in front of the class. You quickly ran to him and used your water bending to check on his body and health. The water went all around the poor student until you stopped your movements. He’s dead.

“Heh..you should see the rest of the students, little mouse,” Dabi said as he walked to you and gripped your chin in his hands to make you face him. As he smirked at you, an explosion was sent his way but he jumped and dodged it.

“Get your hands off of her!” Bakugou screamed as he ran to you. He brought you back into his arms as you just stared at Dabi.

“It’s not her you should be protecting, hero,” Dabi hinted. You cringed at his words but Bakugou ignored them as he seethed out a question.

“What the hell do you bastards want?!” He asked and Shigaraki was the first to answer his question.

“Take a guess!” He said as he directed the league to attack. Toga was the first to move as she went towards the girls and attempted to sliced at them. Dabi followed as he sent flames to the ground, but Todoroki was quick and put them out with his ice. The two brothers stared at each other, one with a nonchalant determined face and the other with a cocky smirk.

It was here and now. The attack was happening and it was happening to your class right now. All the students sprung into action as they fought villains, multiple students vs single villains. Sadly, the class were the ones struggling. Bakugou fought at Dabi as he pushed Todoroki away.

“Pick someone else IcyHot! I want this Bastard to myself!” The blonde said before he pounced to the fiery villain. Todoroki shifted as he and Midoriya worked at Shigaraki and you stood in pain at all the violence. You heard screams of pain from your classmates and you felt your own heart breaking. Due to your out of zone state, you couldn’t sense the blue flames coming your way until Bakugou screamed your name.

“Y/N! This isn’t the time for your daydreams! Get your head in the game!” He said. Delivery was a little harsh, but necessary. You quickly snapped out of it as you bended Dabi’s flames away.

“Poor little Y/N. Always a burden, always a bother.” Those words rung in your ears as you advanced towards Dabi. As you jumped mid-air, it was like time slowed down as Dabi’s eyes had slanted as he stared you down. “You sure you wanna do that...little mouse?”

His tone, cold, and your eyes widen in fear. The name, the way he spoke. It was the same voice and degrading name he used when he would attack you as a punishment. You quickly stopped your attack and stared infront of him. You looked up at him in fear as he smirked down at you. You may have changed the slightest bit but you were still a submissive little punching bag to the league. As you both held a staring match, one in fear and one in power, Bakugou blasted Dabi away from you. The black haired man groaned in pain as he felt the burn of the explosion and watched from a distance as Bakugou ran to guard you.

“Are you okay, Princess?” He asked you while he still watched Dabi in caution. You nodded your head and gave a “mhm,” as a reply as you both watched Dabi get up. He and Bakugou jumped at each other as they fought. Bakugou threw punch after punch as Dabi dodged each one while he spoke.

“Princess, Huh? *dodge* Never knew you were into villains Katsuki,” Dabi said as he dodged again.

“Shut up! You don’t know shit! That was her past!” Bakugou screamed as he continued to attack.

“Past?! *dodge* HA! You think your little Princess is an ex-con?!” He laughed in Bakugou’s face.

“She did what she had to!” Bakugou screamed once more. He swung again but Dabi caught his fist this time.

“Really? I didn’t know robbing banks, murdering people, and joining the League of Villains counted as survival,” Dabi said in his face. Bakugou face sprouted a confused look as Dabi threw him back.

“What?” Bakugou seethed threw grinded teeth. Your heart began to race as Dabi continued to talk.

“You don’t know Y/N at all Katsuki.” Dabi said as he gave you the side eye and watched your fearful and angry gaze.

“Stop talking Dabi,” you quietly said, however Dabi still heard. Including Bakugou.

“Your precious little Princess is on our side, hero. She’s a villain. And not just any villain. She’s the best of the best when it comes to the girls.” Bakugou shook his head in anger as he ran back to Dabi and threw punch after punch and kick after kick.

“SHUT UP!” He screamed at the villain but Dabi just dodged and continued. Bakugou was so confused and so angered that his emotions took control. His fighting faultered and Dabi had the upper hand as he attacked Bakugou and threw him into a small boulder. Bakugou groaned as he sat exhausted against the rock. He breathed heavily as he watched Dabi walk to Y/N, take her hand, walk closer to Bakugou, and wrap his arm over her shoulder. “GET AWAY FROM HER YOU FUCKING BASTARD!”

“Heh...do you wanna tell him or should I, Princess?” Dabi asked as he mocked the nickname Bakugou gave you. Your eyes teared as your breath became jagged and you looked towards Bakugou. Katsuki noticed how you didn’t remove Dabi’s arm and just stayed silent.

“Y/N?” He whimpered out as he looked at you for some sort of answer. What the hell was Dabi talking about? Grand theft? Murder? Joining the league? He needs an answer. Bakugou watched you swallow down a nervous breath as you hesitantly spoke.

“Katsuki.....I’m Titania....and...I..I’m a part of the League.” You said with a quivering lip. Bakugou’s eyes went wide as he felt his entire world shatter. The girl he fell in love with and gave his entire being to was an undercover villain. He felt tears stinging his eyes as he spoke.

“W-what?” He questioned. Dabi groaned aloud in annoyance as he threw his head back dramatically and continued the talk.

“Your little girlfriend here is a villain. In fact..this whole attack was her plan,” Dabi smirked out. Bakugou watched you as you kept your head down with a shadow casting over your face. An obvious frown adorned your lips. The lips that Bakugou had kissed a thousand times over and they belonged to the most heinous female villain. Bakugou dropped his head down as his eyes stayed open in shock. He felt a panic attack coming onto him as his breaths got heavier and he freaked out.

‘This can’t be true....She loves me! She would never....she could never do this! It’s Y/N! She’s...She can’t be a villain! She would never lie to me like this...’ Bakugou’s thoughts became too much so he screamed as he got up and ran to attack the both of you. He jumped into the air and released an explosion to the both of you but you both had dodged. When Bakugou dropped back to the ground he quickly ran to you and tackled you to the ground. He pinned you down as he hovered over you trying to scan your face for some sort of reasonable answer or explanation.

“Y/N!” He screamed in your face as he shook with tears falling from his ruby eyes. He watched as your lips continued to whimper and the shadow over your face remained. Dabi used his fire to send an attack towards you both and instead of burning you both, it stung as it pushed you both away. The two of you fell down a tunnel. You both held onto each other as you guys tumbled down a tunnel. When you both hit the ground again, you realized you ended up in a cave away from the fighting. Ahead of you was an opening to the outside world. You continued to lay on the ground as Bakugou stayed atop of you as he cried and whimpered into your shoulder. You gently pushed him off of you as you stood and tried to walk to the exit, but before you’d could take a step, Bakugou quickly grabbed onto your wrist.

You looked down at him with sad eyes as you watched him keep his head down as fat tears dropped from his eyes. He stayed on the ground, seated on his knees as he cried.

“Please tell me it isn’t true, Princess..” he whispered. You felt tears invade your own eyes as you squeezed them shut. You both stayed like that for awhile as you released silent tears.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered as you tried to help Bakugou stand but once he got to his feet he gripped your shoulders.

“Tell me everything! ...NOW!” He screamed with his eyes open and full of tears. You stared at him with an apologetic face as you shook your head.

“We have to go Katsuki, we have to get help.” Bakugou shook his head ‘no’ but allowed you to drag him out of the cave and into the opening. It was getting late and the evening had already started as the blue sky darkened a bit. You stomped your foot into the ground to use your earth bending to figure out exactly where you both were. Once you felt the vibrations, you realized you were too far to even locate the others or even the competition grounds. You guys were lost.

“We’re too far away from everything Katsuki. We should look around a bit and see if we can find our way back.” Bakugou held onto your wrist before you walked again.

“You owe me an explanation when all of this is over, Y/N.” He quietly said with a sad tone.

“...I owe you a lot more than that Katsuki. But I will be giving you an explanation...and with how far we are away from everyone, I might have time to give it to you sooner than you think.” You explained. You and Bakugou walked on with heavy hearts but the both of you both had the exact same question ringing in your minds.

‘What are we now?’

—

You both walked for miles and yet you still got nowhere. Everytime you stopped and checked to see where you guys were, it felt like you guys just got farther away from everyone. You silently begged for Rumor to just find you and regretted not having him just shrink down to a mouse to carry around.

Bakugou trailed behind you. His crying had gone on for some time but eventually stopped, however when it did, his sadness was replaced with anger. He was pissed. He doesn’t know where he was, what he’s doing, what’s going on, and he doesn’t even know who he’s with right now. He’s basically with a stranger at the moment.

Eventually, it grew dark and the sun had set while the moon had began to rise. While you continued to look for a way back, Bakugou was aware of his surroundings and stopped you by grabbing onto your arm.

“Stop walking, moron. Can’t you see it’s dark?” He said as he looked at you with a bored expression. You turned back and scoffed at him in disbelief.

“We’re lost. We have no idea where we are and have no idea how to get back. If we stop now, we’ll lose time and it’ll take forever to get back. And who knows what’s happening now to our classmates?!” You exclaimed. Bakugou shook his head at you when you finished.

“They’re my classmates. Not yours,” truthfully, saying that broke him a bit, but he had to continue, “and if we keep going, we’ll die out here in the wild. We should find a safe place to sleep for the night and find some fire wood to keep warm. Maybe get some food to fight off hunger.”

“We’ll be fine if we keep going. I’ve survived the streets before, we’ll be okay.” You said and attempted to walk again but Bakugou held you back.

“Well this isn’t the streets Y/N. There isn’t a store full of food we can rob when we’re hungry and there isn’t an overhead tunnel at every turn that we can sleep in. This is a forest. So just shut up and listen to me.” He said, his grip on your arm slightly getting tighter. You winced the tiniest bit and Bakugou saw as he quickly took his hand off your arm. He cringed at his action but shook off the bad thoughts. “C’mon, let’s go. We gotta find some shelter.”

You thought about it for a bit and realized he was right. This wasn’t the city. You sighed and bit the inside of your cheek before answering. “Okay.”

As you silently trailed behind Bakugou, you realized you just followed him blindly. It was like he read your mind when he spoke again. “I saw a cave awhile back. We’ll camp out there. Along the way let’s just collect some firewood whenever we see some.”

You followed his orders and by the time you guys made it to the cave, you were all set to sleep. You collected wood for a fire and even leaf piles to sleep on. As you both entered the cave, Bakugou set up your sleeping area and you started the fire with your bending. Once you were done you took a seat infront of the fire and just stared at the bright flame. Here you were in a cave with your....well now you were back to where you started with him. You didn’t know what you two were anymore.

Bakugou finished with the leaves and when he turned around, he saw you sitting on the ground with a blank look. He looked at you with sad eyes and a broken heart before he sighed and sat in-front of you on the other side of the fire. You looked towards him in confusion as to why he sat but then it came to you.

“Talk.” He said as he looked towards you. You stared at him and saw he was working to build up his walls again as if he was preparing himself for disappointment. He was smart for doing so though because disappointment was exactly what he would be feeling. That and probably some severe heartache. You pressed your lips together with a sad look on your face as you came to the conclusion that there was no avoiding the truth now.

“....I’m not who you think I am.” You said and it was like the air thickened as you watched how his jaw clenched and his eyes teared behind his mask.

“My name is Y/N L/N, I’m 16....and I’m a member of the League of Villains,” Bakugou’s breath stilled as he heard the words leave your mouth. He already heard it once but hearing it now as confirmation hurt.

“The story I told you when we were in the kitchen that night was all true. I just left out some details and kind of switched the story around. The place I was born in was a hidden village. The people there had the abilities to control the 4 elements. My parents had me but were killed by the cult I mentioned before. They took my people in so they could use their abilities to create the weapons, but me being so young, I had no idea how to control them. Eventually, I discovered I was the one who could bend all 4 elements instead of just one....I discovered I was the avatar.” You breathed out.

“The avatar?” Bakugou scoffed, “the bridge between the spirit world and physical world? The person destined to bring peace to the world? That’s nothing but a legend.”

“Wellll then I guess I’m a legend so thank you for that compliment.” You said and Bakugou stared at you in shock. He was sitting with the actual avatar. “Blah blah blah, trained with a master, blah blah blah, and that’s when the league found me. They saw my abilities and took me in. But you don’t get to live in the league’s hideout once you join. You work your way up the food chain and so I had to live on the streets and do their dirty work to prove myself. I did it for survival, but in the end, being a villain was all I knew. So I stuck to it. I officially became a member and I eventually became Titania, the best female villain alive.”

“....Why did you come to UA?” He asked.

“I didn’t want to. I came for a job. Aizawa and I were fighting when he took me away while I was injured and offered to take me in and put me in school. Said he saw good in me....obviously he was wrong considering the only thing that triggered me to go was the fact that there was an opportunity to take down UA and prove myself to the league.” You explained. You noticed Bakugou kept quiet and bit his lip as he seemed to have shook a little before asking the next question.

“...What about me? What part did I play in this fucking game you got going on?” He asked. You didn’t look at him the entire time. You kept your eyes on the fire and held a nonchalant face the entire time.

“You were the only part of my UA life that was genuine. I didn’t come here looking for a relationship and I didn’t need a relationship to take down UA.....but then you came into my life. You showed up and something about you...just made sense to me. And it gave me a comforting feeling I never got to experience before. You gave me a break from my chaotic life and it was the refresher I needed.” Bakugou blushed at your confession but still felt sorrow. Your feelings for him were true but that doesn’t change the fact that you lied to him and never told him who you truly were. You were also a villain while he was a hero trainee. This relationship was wrong. He dropped his head as tears began to pool at his eyes.

“.....I still love you, Princess.” He confessed.

“I know...and I still love you Suki..”

“........WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LIE?!” He screamed as he stood up. “YOU LIED TO ME ABOUT WHO YOU WERE!”

“I did a lot of things but I have never lied to you about who I was or what I felt towards you,” you calmly said to his loud proclaims.

“BUT YOU DIDNT TELL ME THE TRUTH EITHER Y/N! ....You didn’t tell me anything. You left me in the dark. You made me fall in love with you...and now I don’t know what to do...” he sobbed out. “You’re a villain...my dream is to be the number one hero...but I love you...but it’s wrong for me to not put you behind bars.”

You just looked at him with a straight face but it was clear you were hurting as well. But you still continued to let him take his frustrations out on you.

“I’m sorry Katsuki..”

“SORRY ISNT GONNA FIX ME Y/N! SORRY ISNT GONNA MAKE ME STOP LOVING YOU! SORRY ISNT GONNA STOP ME FROM BEING ANY LESS CONFUSED!”

A silence fell over the two of you. Bakugou was so hurt and it was all your fault. He didn’t deserve this. None of them did. And yet you still followed through with this horrible plan. You knew what had to be done.

“Let’s just get some rest..we should start our search for home again in the morning,” you said as you got up and walked over to the sleeping area. But this only triggered Bakugou even more.

“Rest?! REST?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME Y/N?! YOU’RE JUST GONNA DROP THE CONVERSATION LIKE THIS ISNT FUCKING IMPORTANT?!,” he said with tears in his eyes as he stood and screamed at you.

“YES! THIS ISNT FUCKING IMPORTANT! IF IT ISNT OBVIOUS, WE’RE DONE. OVER. SO LETS JUST FORGET ABOUT THIS AND FOCUS ON FINDING OUR WAY HOME!” You screamed back. The cave grew empty as silence filled the air. Bakugou felt his heart die in his chest. He loved you, even though you were a villain he still loved you. He didn’t want this to be over..but you? You were really willing to drop this relationship? Just like that?

“So..that’s it? You’re not even gonna try for us anymore? You’re not even gonna fight for us to be together?” He asked with tears in his eyes.

“......there is no more ‘us’ anymore, Bakugou.”

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caxsthetic · 5 years ago

Text

Lost to Him

Miya Atsumu x F!Reader

He would do anything for them, even if that means he sacrifices his own happiness.

Pt. 2 < Part 3 > Ep.

"This is the longest time the two of you didn't talk to each other," The Miya's mother cut the silence on the dinner table one particular day, "You guys better settle this problem, fast. I don't know what it is about, but I don't like seeing my sons like this." She gracefully dab her lips before standing up from the table, finished with her dinner.

It was silence, just like these past few weeks. Yes, it's been five weeks since Miya Atsumu broke up with you through text. And the twins wouldn't talk to each other if it's not necessary. Osamu was enraged, remembering how your body flushed in the cold snows that day.

"You are stupid." That's the only thing he said before standing up, following his mother to clean his plate. Atsumu let out a long sigh before banging his forehead on the dinner table, contemplating his decision one more time, the decision that will last forever.

Volleyball practice was never the same these last two months without you being there. You were usually there to bring the whole team some onigiri, stopping him when he's too absorbed with practice, cheering him on when he does a service ace, it's all just silence now.

"Hey, Samu." The setter called out to his twin who was now laying in their bed, "Where were you going just now?" After the confession about how the wing spiker loves you, he just went to somewhere and came back around half an hour after.

"That's none of your business," Osamu's voice was full of anger, he couldn't believe that his twin just kissed someone else. Someone else that's not you.

The two of them just lay on their own bed, both couldn't sleep because their minds were filled with a certain girl. The setter was thinking about his girlfriend, someone that he took for granted. The wing spiker was thinking about someone that he loves, but couldn't have because she was taken.

They were thinking about you, the one girl who owned both of their hearts.

"D-Do you really love her?" Atsumu voiced what has been lingering inside his mind. He never stuttered before, but right now, he was just too afraid all of a sudden. Osamu blinked, noticing how his twin spoke differently.

"I do." The setter bit his lips by hearing those two words. Two simple words but it got him insane immediately. Atsumu may not look like it, but he loves his twin brother so much. The fact that they were in love with the same person was the biggest obstacle in his life, "Why?"

Why indeed. The question caught him off guard. He didn't particularly know why his heart acted like it would stop at any moment. Maybe because right now, he was in the middle of letting the two of his most precious people in the world for being together.

"Since when?" He cleared his throat, trying to dig as much information as he could. It scared him now, knowing someone else loving you. He never bothered if it's just some random guy, he wouldn't even bother if it's the best setter in the world.

But it was his twin brother, someone who breathed the first air together with him at the same time.

"Since the first time we cooked together," Atsumu almost choked by the answer. He was lost when it came to who was the one loving you longer. The first time they made the plan, they were still in the second term of their first year of junior high.

Five years, Miya Osamu has been in love with you for five years and his twin brother didn't even notice it.

How hurt it would be for the grey haired boy to see him barge into the door that day after his first kiss with you and shouting, "I couldn't believe she agreed to be my girlfriend."

Osamu didn't need to ask who the girl was at that time, he knew too well. The fact he had been silent when they were so lovey dovey in front of him, it was all because he felt like he needed to get used to it. Because he knew too, that the girl he loves, fell for his twin instead of him.

"I am sorry," Now, this is something that Osamu thought would never get out from his twin's lips. He immediately looked down to the bunk bed where the setter lay.

"Are you sick?" They just looked at each other and blinked, "Did I just hear you say sorry?" Atsumu glared at him, but it was more like an annoyed glare rather than an angry one.

"I am not," The setter flicked his twin's forehead, "But I am really sorry." Osamu just sighed and got back to his previous position. His grey orbs staring at the ceiling. It's weird that talking about it made him feel relieved.

"There's nothing to be sorry for," He knew how much Atsumu loved you, he realised how his brown orbs would lit up immediately at the sight of you. And to see the two of them happy together felt like he had done the right thing after all, "Just do something for the two of you."

But the tragic things between them, twins would always be twins. No matter how different they were, they share the same thought every now and then. And now, they thought the same about you.

Your friends were all worried about you when they saw you the next day after you broke up. There was a dark circle under your eyes, it was puffy and you looked so pale. They knew that you and the famous setter were on a rough path, but they didn't think the two of you would end the journey there.

The pain was still there no matter how many days were passed. It was lunch time now, and you didn't bother to buy some lunch. You unlocked your phone, searching for his name. What you did was self-destruction, it hurt you every time you saw his name. But somehow, you couldn't just forget everything about him.

Your daydreaming was cut short when you saw a plastic of onigiri dropped on your desk. You blinked and looked up to see a familiar face. The face that you were longing for, the face that was so similar to someone that you love. If it's not because of the grey orbs, they would have the same facade.

"Your friends said you never get out to buy lunch." You were just silent as he sat on the chair in front of you, too shocked to emit even one word, "So, I supposed I would give you this instead." There's no expression on his face, but how the words rolled from his lips, you knew that he cared, "Please eat-"

He widened his eyes at the sight if you. Your eyes were glossy as tears were already prickling at the side of your orbs. You bit your lips, trying to control your emotion that was at the peak right now.

You missed this, you missed this so much that it hurts. You missed how the twins would show up at your class and dragged you to the cafeteria. You missed the taste of their cooking, you even missed how horrible Atsumu cooking was.

Since that day, you haven't felt any of those habits anymore. It's not just Atsumu who was gone from your life, the days changed drastically that you didn't even recognize it anymore.

Osamu didn't have tissue or a handkerchief to wipe the tears away, so he decided to wear his thumb instead. He was frantic inside, it broke him every time he saw you cry like this. He felt guilty, since he knew the one who caused this forlorn state of yours was his twin.

"I-I am sorry for crying-" You sobbed and tried to smile, wiping your remaining tears by yourself, "I looked so miserable oh my god." You snorted, something that was not lady-like at all. But it's something you always did to turn your sadness into a joke.

He just gave you a little smile. That smile was so genuine and soft, unlike his twin that was more into a smirk and cheeky smile. Once again, he pushed the onigiri on you, silently begging you to eat it. You chuckled at this and unwrapped the plastic.

You bite it, and you immediately close your eyes with how much the taste warmed your heart. It brings nostalgia to your soul, remembering how the smooth rice would roll in your tongue so easily. You must have noticed that late night onigiri was made by Osamu instead of your boyfriend, or now, your ex-boyfriend.

The taste was similar yet so different. Atsumu would like the filling to be more savoury, while Osamu would love to balance the flavor so there's no overwhelming taste. The two were different, but you love it all nevertheless.

The wing spiker put his chin on your desk, noting every single thing from your face that he could catch. You teared up, but he had a gut feeling that it's not because of the same reason from before. So he smiled, gazing at you with adoration from his grey orbs.

"It's good?" He asked with a pure curiosity, he added something different and wanted you to taste it. He wanted you to be the first person who judged his cooking. It's not like you were a professional taster or something, but he knew you would evaluate it fair and square.

"It's perfect, Samu." He loves it, how his name rolled from your tongue like a blessing, "It's new isn't it? The taste was so familiar, but I could taste something else inside." The grey haired boy let out a small grin and straightened his posture.

"Yeah, about that-" It's like he was someone else when it comes to food. He could talk for hours about it until everyone would be bored. But you would never, there's always a glimmer in his eyes every time he talked about it.

You loved it, the passion that was emitted from someone when they talked about something that they love so much. You were always there at their practice before, because you loved to see the setter's eyes when he played. Just like now, you were just eating up the remaining onigiri in silence, eyes focusing on the boy in front of you.

He may look identically the same with Atsumu, but he was a whole different person. Osamu was always the gentle one, he didn't really like to draw attention. But he could be snide and his sarcasm was always on point.

This is the first time you actually looked at him with different light. You noted how he moved his hand a lot when he talked about food or how he raised his eyebrows when he asked for opinion.

The two of you were so absorbed with the warm conversation. A pair of brown eyes bore inside the classroom through the window as he saw his twin talk to you so freely.

He wanted that, he wanted to be the one who talked with you. Goofing around like he used to do with you every single day. But he didn't want to break the smile that you create on your visage, something that was missing from you since the day his pride was eating him alive.

You looked so calm now, talking to his twin like the break up never happened. He smiled lovingly at the sight before walking away from his spot. That was his intention from the start after all. When he knew how much his twin loves you, he knew for sure that it was the best to let you go.

Atsumu was someone who would do anything to get what he wanted. And he wanted to be selfish like he always did to have you in his arms again. But then, his way of thinking started to change. Because now, it's resolving around his twin too.

You were not just someone that he loves, it's not just him that wanted you forever in his life. But his twin always wanted you in his life too, and this tore him apart every day since he knew the facts.

For him, loving you is a blessing. You were the first person that could make him feel like this. You were the only person that he wanted to keep in his life beside his family. But then again, you were someone that his twin loves so much.

And he couldn't endure to be the one who kept you from someone that could treat you better than himself.

"Why the hell did you do that?" Atsumu paused the game when he heard his twin's voice, "Why did you break it off like that?" He knew that the wing spiker finally understood the reason behind his action that he took. So he just let out a long sigh and continue to play,

"It doesn't matter now," It's true, he already made up his decision, and he didn't want to change that. Suddenly, the console on his hand was being ripped off from his grasp.

"IT IS MATTER TO ME!" Osamu gripped his collar, and it brought back a memory from a few weeks ago, "Why?" He asked again, desperation emanated from the grey orbs, "Why did you break it off when you still love her?"

Atsumu smiled, and it was the only answer that the wing spiker needed. He dropped the setter gently to the ground. Knowing for sure why his twin decided to break up with you. Osamu sat on the carpeted floor of their shared bedroom, trying to process what just happened in their life.

"You love her though, right, Tsumu?" His voice was like a whisper, he didn't actually need a confirmation. He knew his twin too well, "I don't know how your mind works sometimes."

"We are the same, Samu." Atsumu lay on the ground, looking at the ceiling, "We both want her to be happy, and at the same time," He turned his head, looking at his twin brother who was now emitting guilt from his face, "We knew who suit her better."

Osamu snorted at this, shaking his head with the newfound information. The two of them were twins after all, they wanted you to be happy, and they wanted their twin to be happy with her.

But there's only one twin who could have you, and Atsumu knew immediately that he had lost from the battle of having you. No matter how much he loves you, he could only hope that it was the right decision to let you go.

"You are stupid," Osamu kicked the setter's arm with a playful demeanour, "Really stupid and just an utter imbecile." Atsumu's eyebrows twitched at the insult, "But thank you,"

Atsumu was ready to throw another insult at his twin, but he stopped when he heard the last three words. He smiled, could already picture you with his twin brother instead of him. Slowly, he was sure that you would open up your heart for someone else.

Even if it's not him, even if it would never be him again to be the one who holds you close, he knew it was the best path that he chose. Either for you, or for his twin.

"You are welcome."

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ༶• ┈┈ ⛧ ┈ ♛ ♛ ┈ ⛧ ┈┈ •༶ *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

Tagged Lovelies:

@allywritesimagines @benewol @letmeshouyou @nitricflame @vventure @heccingdead @muffins-puffins @miyulovestowrite @nanashinanashi @muffngw @vlovers-world @proplayer-kenma @kashika @cuddlyasahi @blacckdiamondposts @muffngw @baby-boy-taichi @of-heroes-and-dreams @bobothecircusclown @call-me-prodigy @xjaelee @miyatsunami @ncityluvvs

#atsumu miya #miya atsumu #atsumu x reader #miya atsumu x reader #atsumu miya x reader #atsumu miya imagine #atsumu miya scenario #atsumu miya drabble #miya atsumu imagine #haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagine #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu drabble #haikyuu season 4 #atsumu fluff #atsumu angst

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staywritten · 5 years ago

Text

All In│Bang Chan «Chapter Eight»

Synopsis: After a messy break up your sophomore year, you decided that the best thing for you was to finish off your college career single. You wanted to focus on yourself, grow as a person and finish off your degree strong. There’d be plenty of time for love after college. But after losing your camera you become friends with the seemingly perfect boy that threatens to ruin your plans.

Genre: SocialMedia!AU, College!AU, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Smut

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Chapter 8 Word Count: 1.5K

You couldn’t really explain the butterflies in your stomach. Meeting Chan was something you looked forward to and dreaded. Admittedly you claimed to be busier than you were and had many opportunities to pick up your camera from him, but you didn’t want this ambiguous, undefined routine you fell into to fizzle out because your excuse to contact him wouldn’t exist anymore.

Chan wasn’t some long distance boyfriend, since he literally lived twenty minutes from your campus, nor was he truly a stranger. You’d seen him on occasion around school, around Hyunjin and even performing with Changbin. It’s just you didn’t care, he was just a guy. And it scared you that he was no longer just a guy. You weren’t gonna lie to yourself, you knew this became a little more than a crush and your feelings might even be reciprocated and that scared you even more.

He became someone you shared everything with, your comforts, insecurities, happiness. You were vulnerable with him, which was a side of you that only Momo and Hyunjin hadn’t seen since your last relationship.

You found yourself at a packed club in Hongdae in honor of Changbin’s EP drop. It was the perfect opportunity to meet and you knew that if you flaked this time there wouldn’t be another chance. You couldn’t just wait until you thought you were ready.

Momo gripped your hand softly. “You ok? You’re shaking” she frowned softly.

“I’m alright just nervous” you frowned. “I know it’s all in my head but- what if he doesn’t like me in person?”

“You’re amazing” Hyunjin sighed, bringing you guys shots. “I know Channie-Hyung I talk to him literally every day. He's a nice guy, more than nice. He’ll love you” he held up the shots “Drink it’ll calm your nerves”

You all clanked your glasses together before downing the shot of apple soju the sweet burn welcomed down your throat. A few shots later you did loosen up, your nerves still there but at least you didn’t feel your heart pounding in your ribs. After your fifth shot your cheeks were a little warm, you swayed gently in Momo’s arms as you danced with her and Hyunjin.

It was like you could feel a gaze on you, you felt it earlier but you were too scared to follow it. This time you looked up, following the feeling toward the stage near the dj. You recognized the blonde curly mop of hair instantly. A shy smile on his lips as he gave you a little wave, before making his way down from the stage. For the first time all night you let go of Momo’s hand, your feet moving before your anxiety set back in. With each step you got a little more urgent, pushing past the people to get toward him.

He smiled letting out the lightest laugh, his cheek dimpling as he pulled you into a warm hug. “Hi” he buried his face in your hair, your arms wrapping around his figure, clenching at the back of his shirt, almost too afraid to let go. Your face fitting so comfortably in the crook of his neck.

“Hi…” you mumbled into his shirt. “You’re really here…” you held him closer, almost too shy to look up. The way his chest vibrates when he laughs warmed your heart.

“Of course I am” he pulled back just slightly to get a really good look at you. “Wow you’re gorgeous…” you tried to look away but he caught your chin between his fingers, his thumb gently grazing your lower lip, making you gasp just slightly. “Don’t look away, lemme see you”

“I feel so exposed” you laughed nervously, making eye contact with him. “I’m nervous”

He chuckled taking your hand and placing it over his chest, you could feel his heart racing. “I saw you a little while ago...I was just trying to work up the nerve to talk to you” He watched as your lips curled in the most beautiful smile and he couldn’t help but to mirror it. “We still have some time before Changbin’s set...do you wanna go talk somewhere quieter?”

You nodded letting him lead you toward the terrace, you looked back to Hyunjin and Momo to let them know you were stepping out. They smiled back waving, giving you a small thumbs up.

It was so easy to pick up right where you left off, the conversation flowed just as easily as it did through facetime. Except now there was this added element of his intense eye contact, you were in the middle of telling him about your day when you just faltered. He really was breathtaking. “Stop looking at me like that” you laughed nervously.

“Like what?” he gave you a smug look, leaning in closer. “How about this? is this better?” his lips curved into a smirk as his eyes gave off a teasing glint. Your back was against the wall as he caged you in.

“You’re teasing me” you pouted, your fingers grazing his before lacing between his large fingers.

“I am” he laughed, his forehead touching yours, brushing his nose along your bridge.

“Are you gonna kiss me?” your voice becomes smaller at his advances. Your teeth sinking into your lower lip.

He licked his lips, his gaze trained on every breath released. “Do you want me to kiss you Babygirl?”

There was something about his little nickname for you, it just did things. You nodded “Please Chris…” His lips met yours the moment his name slipped from your mouth. The first kiss was so sweet, gentle. Like his lips were testing the waters, as he pulled away from the chaste kiss he peppered smaller kisses against the side of your mouth. You cupped his cheek bringing his attention back to your lips. “More…” you whined, before kissing him again. This one much deeper than the last. Your mouth opening for him, letting his tongue in. He could taste the sweetness of the flavored soju on your lips and he couldn’t get enough, especially with how you’d whine and moan for him. He got lost in your touch, loving how restless your hands were traveling from his cheeks, to his chest down to his hand. Like you couldn’t decide on where to hold on to.

After what felt like an eternity you finally pulled away gasping for air, Turns out swimmers can hold their breaths very long. As you caught your breath he peppered kisses against your swollen lips, jaw and neck. Taking in this blissed out glazed look in your eyes as you tried to steady yourself. “My Babygirl…” he smiled.

“My Chris” you sighed happily as he pulled you in a hug.

“I hope I’m not getting ahead of myself but I really wanna see you again.”

You grinned, biting your lip “Pretty presumptuous” you teased. “And why’s that?”

He laughed nervously, hiding his face in your hair. “I kinda got too excited about tonight and left your camera on my desk”

You giggled hugging him tighter “Then I guess we don’t have a choice~”

Unfortunately the sound of the crowd cheering and the sound of Changbin getting introduced on stage pulled you guys apart. “We should probably head inside, Binnie would kill me if I missed any of his performance” His hand never left yours as he brought you inside, joining Hyunjin and Momo who were talking to Jisung and Felix.

The entire night felt like a dream, Chan’s arms wrapped securely around you, occasionally kissing you when your eyes met. “I can’t believe you’re here” he whispered against your ear, swaying you with the beat of Changbin’s rap.

“If this is a dream, I don’t wanna wake up��”

“I’m not going anywhere…” he kissed the crown of your head as you squeezed his fingers a little tighter.

After Chanbin’s set, Hyunjin and Momo headed out, because they both had early mornings. But you couldn’t find yourself ready to leave Chan’s arms yet as you made yourselves comfortable on the terrace. “I still can’t believe you’re real” you whispered, absently playing with his fingers, your back pressed against his chest.

“You’ve literally seen me before” he laughed placing a kiss beneath your ear, enticing the softest whimper. “I was very real at the swim meet”

You turned to face him, pouting a little. Realizing you had just a few too many shots and all your inhibitions were gone. “I was scared to meet you because when we started talking I knew I had a crush on you but I just thought it was really shallow… Like you were just Chan the hot swim captain… But now that I know you, you’re funny and warm, and so sweet...I can talk to you about everything and nothing and it still feels so natural.”

His smile was so bright, you swore he held the stars in his beautiful brown eyes. “I really like you Chan…” you whispered before kissing him, for the umpteenth time that night.

“I like you too…” he whispered before you took his lips between yours.

“Take me home?” you nipped at his lips, gazing up at him. He watched as your eyes darkened, your lips parting. There was such a heaviness to your question but he was more than under your spell. He kissed your cheek, before nodding and letting you get off his lap.

You were falling hard and fast and for the first time in your life, you let yourself get lost in the overwhelming warmth of another person.

He felt like home.

To Be Continued...

( ´ ▽ ` )ﾉ Hey Friends I hope you guys enjoyed that chapter! the next one will be a combo of sns and written and then we’re back to sns for a while :3 I hope you don’t mind

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sometipsygnostalgic · 4 years ago

Note

When'd you get into Adventure Time the first time, and how'd it happen? Been thinking of giving it a watch (especially after all the good stuff that's been said of Obsidian and, admittedly, all the stuff I've seen you post and reblog), and it got me curious

This is like my favourite story, and it is the only good one I remember from being a teenager (life from back then has been super foggy since I moved out of my mum's but it is all good now):

When I was 15 I made a new friend who wanted to write a comic about Teen Titans with me as the artist, TT being my second-favourite childhood show after DBZ.

I started bingewatching Teen Titans because I now had a computer and was able to do so. I learnt about the voice actors.

Starfire was played by Hynden Walch. I learnt that Hynden's latest role was Princess Bubblegum on Adventure Time. I checked it out on wikipedia. It seemed kind of cartoony for me.

One thing that caught my eye is when the wikipedia page said PB "may have had a past relationship" with Marceline, the vampire girl with the really pretty hair. I was confused by this, and rationalised it to myself as they must have had a history as friends or enemies. It didn't say what kind of relationship and I thought there was no chance of it meaning "romantic".

For the time being, I didn't look into AT further.

A couple months pass. After several months of tension, I get a text while in school telling me that my dad was breaking up with his fiance, and I would need to move back into my mother's place immediately. This was smack bang when I was about to start my GCSE exams - the timing couldn't be worse. My mother's house is a shit hive and I went between having a tiny box room to myself or sharing a messy bedroom with my sister and mother. There were no standards for hygeine and there wasn't a stable supply of food.

I decide to finish my binge watch of Teen Titans. I spend all day doing this every day. I rewatched it once I was done. It was what I did to cope.

At the same time, my Teen Titans comic friend confides in me. She tells me she thinks she might be a lesbian, and she is scared her parents will reject her. I sympathise deeply. At the time, I was waist deep in the closet to the point I couldnt accept certain things about myself either, but having a friend come out to me made me reconsider LGBT matters.

I looked on deviantart and saw some art for "RaeStar". I thought it was wrong to ship them (I shipped RobStar hardcore) but, well, the art was so cute. Their interactions were healthy and sweet. It was nice. This became my low key first gay ship.

Then, I start bingeing RebelTaxi's Teen Titans video reviews.

Once I am dry on Teen Titans content, I see RebelTaxi did a review on Fionna and Cake, and on Ryan North's Issue #2 of the Adventure Time comic.

The first video, Fionna and Cake, was appealing to me. The show had an amazing art style, and a decent sense of humor. I loved that they did something for the fans, making a genderbent fanfic episode based on popular fan characters. It was unprecedented and very post modern.

....But it was the SECOND video that made me take a very sudden interest in the show.

RebelTaxi was referring to a scene with PB and Marcy in the bottom of the Lich's bag. There is a joke where Marcy turns into a tentacle monster. RebelTaxi always makes hentai jokes when tentacle monsters are involved, but he interpreted this scene as referencing the characters' "lesbian undertones".

...Wait, WHAT? Hynden Walch's character and the pretty vampire have Lesbian Undertones?!?! Haven't I heard this somewhere before?!?!

A quick google search of "Adventure Time Lesbian Undertones" later, I discover the Mathematical! Controversy - how an episode with some incredible songwriting seemed to imply they had been girlfriends in the past who have residual feelings for each other. A podcast had been made by the producers fangirling about this possibility, but it was taken down, and the director fired. Nobody had outright said the subtext was not there, but they said they didn't want the podcast to sound like word of god. There had been a lot of upset in the gay community over this. Oh, by the way, there's a gay community of cartoon fans who really ship PB/Marcy.

With a combination of everything, from how my friend had just come out to me and was struggling with homophobia, to how I was a Hynden Walch fan, to how the show had already impressed me with what little I'd seen, I became IMMEDIATELY invested in finding out as much as possible about these potential LGBT characters and their relationship.

So I checked out a ton of Adventure Time videos on youtube. I checked the vids that had Marceline's backstory in, vids with funny moments from PB and all the other characters, I checked Deviantart for fanart where I made my first engagements with the fandom's gay community, I checked the Wiki talk pages to get ALL of the discourse. It changed who I was basically overnight.

I decided Adventure Time was a fun show with clever writing, and absolutely worth my attention. During the break for exams, I binge watched it all day, and then I would cram for my GCSEs between midnight and 3am on the day of the exam. I was addicted!

When I caught up, Goliad aired. This was the first ep to come out with me being in the fandom.

At the time, even though Hynden had drawn me to the show, Marceline was the character I was most invested in. She had the amazing backstory and music and character design. PB was fun, but there was relatively nothing to her character.

Oh boy, that ALL CHANGED with Goliad! People were intensely debating what the episode was saying about her. Is she a good person, a bad person? Why was she so troubled in the episode's opening, and why was Goliad corrupted?

Discourse only escalated with Princess Cookie. The top post on the wikia was "Is Princess Bubblegum evil?"

Thinking about her character was so interesting for me. These two episodes made me realise PB was a character with her own internal battles, who was struggling with the responsibility to do what was right for her people vs what is the Right Thing, with her own psychological wellbeing caught in the middle. My interpretation of Goliad was that PB was a naturally neutral person who had decided to be good, whereas Goliad had been corrupted by Jake's anger, and this contrasted with Finn who was a pure good person. The Princess Cookie episode reinforced my ideas, because she was doing something that was neither objectively good or bad but was a result of her own morality, and it went against Jake's morality. The idea of the "good guys" having such different values was so engaging, and they managed to come around at the end, with baby-snaps being submitted to rehabilitation.

Princess Cookie was also the first episode where PB was shown to be an adult while a currently adult character was a child. Either candy people age quickly, or - more likely - Pb is keeping her age a mystery. After thinking about this, I opened up a page on the wiki forums saying "Is Princess Bubblegum Old?"

This is what sealed my position in the fandom. I became a well known regular of the community after that, on Wikia and then Tumblr. It was my first fandom. So many good memories of theories, debates, analysis and fanart, the satisfaction of my theories being confirmed in season 5 onwards.

The most important thing to me, about engaging with the AT community, was how those initial interactions around the LGBT content were the groundwork for me being comfortable coming out of the closet. If it wasn’t for that, if it wasn’t for speaking specifically to Thisfreemind and Illeity about how gay relationships are perfectly fine and healthy for kids to see, and no less clean than straight relationships, I might be a person with far more conservative views today, and I might have fallen out with several of my closeted friends over internalized homophobia.

I would have also probably failed high school. My grades improved drastically over the next year, because my online community life had made me happier. It was comfort and stability during a difficult couple of years.

#adventure time #atimers #bubbline

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spacedlexi · 4 years ago

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Hello! I like your TWDG art and I'm curious if the Final Season was your first exposure to TWDG series? What do you think of the series overall, if you've played them? Any favourite characters outside of S4? I personally stopped playing the games after S2 left me severely disappointed, I think S1 will always be the best of them.

oooo cool questions. and thank you!!

my first exposure to twdg was actually when the demo dropped for the first season!! yea ive secretly been here the Whole Time lmao i didnt play it myself tho i watched my friend play. it was the first time i had been exposed to the telltale choice game kind of format and i didnt really know how to feel about it so i didnt pick it up for myself i just watched others play. it took me a while to catch up and i didnt finish the first season until after s2 ended

the end of season one, like with most people, left me like.....really super heart broken and emotional like man i was Empty inside ahah that ending still and always will get me just Right in the fuckin heart meat. so, feeling as empty as i did and wanting to know where clems story went i jumped Right into season 2 ............ and that left me even More fuckin empty and sad than season 1 lmao fuckin season 2 is probably The most depressing season imo i didnt think i could feel worse than the end of s1 but s2 took it as a challenge

i Hated s2 and was really suffering through it but when kenny showed up i was like OH THANK GOD a familiar face (even tho he really tested my patience in S1) because i capital H Hated the new cast. sarah was fine and luke was Generally ok for the most part but the adults pissed me the Fuck off and still do for how they treated clem (an 11 year old!!) like a whole ass adult and personal therapist. but then kenny got Real scary after the whole sarita thing and jane was pissin me off for not only constantly pushing kenny (a man who was desperately holding onto a very thin thread) but for trying to convince clem that she didnt need anyone and that she’d be better off on her own (AN 11 YEAR OLD!! in the zombie apocalypse!! even tho yea the s2 cast were shit to be around). looking at s2 in hindsight the only good thing about it was AJ..bby boy...

and then about a year or so later the trailer for s3 dropped and i was like YES look at clem fuckin badass fuckin shotgun fuckin take no shit Yes but then i was soooooooooo so disappointed when i found out you were gonna be playing as some fuckin Nobody new character i was like fuck off i just want clem back. season 3 was just....pretty boring in my opinion and the only saving grace was whenever clem was around and the whole “wheres aj” plot that i wish the game focused on instead. out of the s3 cast (minus clem/aj) i only really cared for javi and mari...and well.....we all kno what happens to mari and how fast l o l rip. eps 1-3 (generously) were ok and interesting but the final eps just... ehhh. also jesus was ok but hes also a part of the comics/show whatever so he doesnt rack up points for telltale. javi flirting with him was pretty cool tho. both protags are bisexual you love to see it. bi rights hell yeah

AND THEN....SEASON 4. i immediately fell in love with the entire cast (even when vi was mean to her when they first spoke cuz i was like “yeah yeah i know you dont mean it i saw the way you were lookin at her from the wall i KNOW youre gonna be a romance option”). the whole troubled youth boarding school was such a great choice finally clem was around people her fuckin age no more adults looking to her for guidance or to parent. and she was Top Dog these kids had no real experience and i knew it was only a matter of time before she slipped into the role as their leader. i was NOT expecting it to be because of how ep 1 ends like omfg the end of the 1st ep is just.....Real Good. the ep itself was pretty slow getting you introduced to everyone but my god shit gets Real the moment clem walks into that basement and from then on out the ep is just Wild and ends with a (literal) bang.

E2 started testing my patience with a few characters (lookin at you louis specifically (even tho i still like you) because i will never get over how now AJ was the one being treated like an adult (A 5 YEAR OLD WHO ONLY KNOWS KILL MONSTERS TO SURVIVE and has never been in a group setting that he can remember))(its why my clem could never romance louis sorry dude) but violet was 💕💕 amazing standing up for clem and aj against the whole group and she takes on the role as leader cuz “no one else stepped the fuck up” i love her.... and then lily shows up and the whole drama with the raiders AGH love it

up until this point i was still just watching others play since the seasons were either too depressing or boring for me to want to pick it up for myself

but then telltale shut down. and i was like.....oh my god....clems story is gonna get cut right at the end?? i loved this new cast and i dont get to see how it ends??? im not gonna get to play it for myself!??!?! so when skybound stepped in and saved it i bought it up IMMEDIATELY i was like “that was TOO CLOSE im gonna finish this series for myself Dammit” and i did and it was great i played eps 3 and 4 when they dropped at midnight im so glad i got to experience the ending for myself on my own. i cried ahhaha so fuckin hard and i still do CLEEEEMMMM you did it bitch i love you

season 1 and 4 are really the only ones i like. and for me s4 ranks higher than s1 because of the cast and the found family trope and how its just..not as fuckin desperate and depressing and hopeless. it really just comes down to preference but s4 wins for me with s1 close second. i only ever go through seasons 2 and 3 for the sake of setting up s4 like its just formality aha. plus getting ajs plot established makes it worth it. and knowing how clems story ends makes the depressing parts easier to get through

SO YEAH OOF SORRY for the long answer i talk way too much ahah but i do really love this game. seasons 1 and 4 now reside snugly in a little corner of my heart where they will stay until i die lmao. if you havent i definitely recommend at least going through s4!!

#clem and her story are even more important to me now after how badly i was burned by naughty dog #when i finally got around to replaying twdg after lou2 came out it really hit me like a tonne of bricks #i cried like just as hard as i did when it originally dropped #clem got the ending that ellie threw away #clem im so happy for you ellie im so sorry for you #replies with lexi #long post #duela-quinzel

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toglidethroughlife · 4 years ago

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Brighter Than Any Star:

An intimate look at everyone’s new favorite bass player

(or the blades band au that nobody asked for)

*inspired by @iaraiumi‘s STUNNING guitarist tyril art (here)

tyril-centric and tyril x mc bc this would be 7k+ words if i didn’t focus on just one of them but i tried to give everyone a moment in the spotlight. credits to a fic i read from the 100 fandom years ago for the format

used my f!elf mc ryllea graywater for this (though i guess this is kind of a modern au idk asjdla); also i don’t play any musical instruments i’m sorry in advance for butchering any of the technical parts 😬

Tyril Starfury — with his red silk shirts and slicked back hair — looks every bit the part of a rock god on stage with the rest of BLADES; but here, in the confines of their tour bus, he is a quiet presence, calmly sipping tea in the corner with a notepad and pen in his hands, his mind far away in the early hours of the morning.

If you had told me eighteen months ago that I would be shadowing Broadway darling Tyril Starfury as he traveled cross-country with his new rock band, I would have laughed and called you preposterous.

And yet, here I am, witness to the madness.

Nia Ellarious, the band’s youngest member and resident pianist, offers me a cup of the same tea as Starfury’s, telling me to enjoy the quiet with an almost apologetic smile.

I understand what she means not long after.

(There’s no such thing as a quiet morning in the world of Mal Volari.)

Every bit as charming and flamboyant as his on-stage persona, Volari greets the entire bus a good morning with flourish, throwing both me and Ellarious a magnetic smile before slipping towards the coffee machine with exceptionally light feet. (More on that later.) He taps on every available surface while he waits for his coffee to brew, humming softly as if figuring out a melody right there on the spot.

If Starfury is bothered by Volari’s banging and humming, he makes no show of it, paying him no mind as he continues to scribble in his notepad.

Ellarious beams as the scene plays out in front of her. “It’s not every day that they don’t get on each other’s nerves,” she explains. “Especially in the morning.”

It’s around this time — almost noon now — that Ryllea Graywater, lead guitarist and vocalist, wakes and joins the group, heading straight towards Volari and the cup of coffee in his hand.

“Thanks,” she winks as she takes the cup from him, shooting Volari a shit-eating grin that he returns easily, already procuring another cup for himself.

It should be noted that Graywater doesn’t seem to talk to anyone until she’s had at least one cup of coffee, choosing instead to slide in beside Starfury in the dining booth, eyes darting towards the notepad he’s writing on. They kind of just... sit there, minding their own business amidst the chaos that is the rest of the bus.

(Volari’s launched into an animated story about the inspiration behind last year’s summer hit, “Contessa, Contessa”, but I can’t help being drawn to the more quiet story unfolding behind him in the dining booth.)

Slinging one arm against the backrest of Starfury’s seat, Graywater casually invites herself into his space, a thoughtful smile on her lips as she looks over the notepad in his hand. There’s an openness between them that tells me that this isn’t a new occurrence, a comfortable ease in the way they seem to be engaging in a wordless conversation.

“He’s kind of really private,” I recall the younger Starfury sibling, Adrina, telling me about his creative process years ago, at the release party for his collab album with then rumored girlfriend and writing partner Kaya Duskraven. “He’s always been a perfectionist. Doesn’t really let anyone other than Kaya hear anything until it’s finished.”

But there’s no trace of that here, in this quiet moment with Graywater, bright, almost triumphant smiles on their faces as she picks up a pen and scribbles something on the pad too, immediately tapping out a melody against the table as if to test-run it by Starfury.

The smile he gives her is glowing.

I look away — suddenly feeling like an intruder in their private moment — catching the tail-end of Volari’s Contessa story, right before Imtura (no publicly released surname) accidentally slams me against the wall when the bus makes a rocky turn.

“Oof, sorry there little guy.” She raises both hands in apology before heading straight for the coffee machine, haphazardly dumping its contents into a generous-sized mug before immediately proceeding to consume said coffee as she plunks onto the other end of the dining booth.

And that’s how the first morning of me shadowing BLADES goes.

Ellarious tells me I’m lucky it was a good one.

With over 16 years of experience under his belt, Tyril Starfury has been in the music and entertainment industry far longer than the rest of the BLADES members combined. At the tender age of nine, he won his first piano competition, regarded highly for his precision at such a young age. He would continue to play competitively until he discovers a new love — musical theater.

It’s no surprise that Starfury ends up on Broadway — he comes from a long line of revered artists, all of them regarded as geniuses of their time. Though some would argue that his family name opened doors that would otherwise be unavailable, no one could deny that it was his clear, soaring baritone and unrelenting work ethic that kept him on stage.

It’s on this stage that he met young Kaya Duskraven, an understudy in one of his shows, prompting a fruitful five-year partnership spanning two EPs and a mini-concert series, Stars in the Dusk.

(The name was a little on the nose, but the critics loved them all the same.)

The two shared such a comfortable rapport, on and off-stage, that they naturally sparked dating rumors — Starfury was always quick to deny them.

No one could have expected the partnership to end on such a bitter note.

To this day, no one knows the real reason behind their fallout — Starfury walked out in the middle of their televised performance without apology or explanation — though there have been no shortage of rumors and theories, a lot of them involving one Eleryn Rosecoven, better known in the industry as Shadow Court bassist dXenia.

I tried to bring it up once, after several bottles of beer have been consumed and the band is swapping stories over s’mores made over the tour bus stove.

I’ve never been shut out so fast in my life.

There’s an audible crack from the s’more now crushed in Imtura’s hand, her piercing amber eyes seemingly driving a death sentence into mine. Volari sighs disapprovingly (and dramatically) at me, and even Ellarious — friendly, cheery Nia — looks at me with a pointed glare, turning off the stove, signaling the end of s’mores night.

“I would prefer not to comment,” Starfury nods at me, years of practiced courtesy showing in his tone and all I want in that moment is for the earth to swallow me whole.

Graywater follows when he excuses himself from the group. Everyone else avoids me like the plague.

It’s hours later when Starfury and Graywater return to the bus — I pretend to have fallen asleep in the dining booth in hopes that I can avoid their fury until the morning — but Graywater approaches me with two cups of tea in hand, an unreadable expression on her face.

She slides over one cup to me — if the scalding temperature of the tea is intentional, she makes no obvious show of it.

“Look,” she begins with an exasperated sigh. “I know you’re only doing your job here. And we did agree to this article, so I’m sorry if things got a little tense back there.” She pauses, as if considering her next words carefully. “We’ve all lived moments in our lives that we’re not proud of. Tyril’s had to live his in front of the public eye. He’ll talk about it when he feels ready to... but his past doesn’t define him, none of ours do.”

I nod, understanding that this is the last we’ll speak of the subject. She smiles as if in truce, telling me that I don’t have to banish myself to the dining booth and that no one will pull any pranks on me if I sleep in the shared bedroom.

I barely catch any sleep anyway.

There’s a ferocity in the way they protect each other that I didn’t notice at first — it could be subtle sometimes, like in the way Volari always checks in with each of the band members every night before going to bed (even though Starfury usually brushes him off); or in the way Imtura always makes sure every one stays hydrated (feel free to interpret that however you wish, whichever way is true); or in the way Ellarious always has some form of baked good running in the oven, more often someone else’s favorite rather than her own.

(I learn the hard way that no one is allowed to get in between Imtura and her cupcakes. No one.)

It’s also plain as day whenever they’re on stage together, their set list a carefully curated show that highlights each member’s strengths without anyone getting overworked. Everyone’s always quick to catch each other whenever they hit snags along the road — there’s a moment in one of the shows when Volari’s mic suddenly gets cut off and Starfury swoops in without missing a beat, a small nod of the former’s head seemingly the only cue he needs, the trust between them implicit.

When I had asked earlier why he’d joined BLADES, Starfury simply shrugged, as if it was no big deal.

“It was by accident. I happened to be at one of their shows and they needed a bass player. We kind of just… worked and we’ve played together ever since.”

But this kind of chemistry doesn’t just happen by accident. No, this is the product of months and months of hard work, of opinions clashing and arguments spanning days before sitting down and realizing it’s not impossible to see eye to eye; it’s battles won and battles lost together, respect earned and trust merited.

To call them just another band seems too small a word almost. Insufficient.

They’re kind of like a family.

(If your typical family involved regular knife and axe-throwing contests, that is.

... it’s best not to ask.)

Tensions are high backstage at Deadwood Festival Grounds.

Volari has been pacing around non-stop. Ellarious looks like she’s using every bit of her willpower not to bite her fingernails. Imtura keeps violently tapping her drumsticks together. Starfury’s got his arms crossed in a corner, brows furrowed.

Graywater is doing a handstand for no apparent reason.

The anxiety is understandable — tonight’s a crucial moment for the band.

With only one more show before the grand finale at Whitetower Stadium, all the bands are doing their best to retain the crowd’s favor, each playing well-established fan favorites, saving the riskier song choices for the finale.

That is, everyone except BLADES.

They’re planning to debut two new songs tonight, both of which written solely by Starfury.

It’s a ballsy move on its own — no one’s exactly itching to drop the ball on their fans this close to the end — but add in the fact that Starfury hasn’t released any solo-written music since the Duskraven fallout and you’ve got the makings of a battle that could either go incredibly right or disastrously wrong.

Let’s back up a bit.

After the Duskraven breakup, Starfury had gone into something of a hiatus (if that’s what you call disappearing off the face of the entertainment industry) before dropping the 13-track self-written album, “Honor,” without prior notice or promotion. Fans were ecstatic to hear from him after his sudden break, but critics were less enthused, calling the album ‘a brash, arrogant attempt at flipping the metaphorical finger at Duskraven that ultimately falls short’, noting the clear absence of Duskraven’s touch in his music — all technicality, no soul.

Starfury’s penned a couple of songs with BLADES since, spanning genres as colorful and diverse as its writers, but there hasn’t been a solo venture since Honor, leaving long-time Starfury fans anxious to hear him take lead again.

Graywater calls everyone into a circle, locking eyes with Starfury as she gives his hand a squeeze.

She makes a speech that I‘m not privy to — but everyone is visibly more resolute after she speaks, each raising their fists to meet in the middle of the circle.

“I’m honored to be on this journey with you all,” I hear Starfury share, a glittering smile spreading on Volari’s lips at the statement.

“I knew you liked us!” he says, crossing the circle to throw an arm around Starfury’s shoulders, pulling him close.

“Group hug!” Ellarious laughs and Imtura closes the circle into a solid embrace.

Starfury appears to be in shock — as if this is the first time this has happened — but he recovers quickly, a quietly contented smile on his face.

The last streaks of daylight have disappeared by the time they’re called to stage, the crowd restless from a long afternoon under the blistering heat.

Darkness has fallen.

But then the opening chords to fan-favorite “Murderous Masquerade” cut through the evening air, a flurry of flashing lights bursting through the sky, and the Deadwood comes alive.

Volari takes center stage in his flashy black and gold ensemble, working the crowd with such ease that it’s no question why he’s been dubbed the band’s de facto showman — he’s frankly just mesmerizing to watch.

Next up is “The Priestess and the Warrior,” an epic tale crammed into four and a half minutes of heart-racing drum beats — provided by the insanely talented Imtura — with a tender piano-driven bridge near the close, Ellarious’ heartbreaking vocals driving the whole thing home.

Graywater takes lead in the third number, “Flirting with Monsters,” a delicate neo R&B number that sounds nothing like the title suggests, her earnest, airy vocals lulling you into a comfortable, almost dream-like state as she entices her lover to stay.

The one thing common between the seemingly weird mishmash of genres is Starfury’s steady bassline, providing a much needed thread of cohesion to the set list. Where Volari, Imtura, Graywater, and even Ellarious tackle their music with the raw aggression of fresh blood on stage, Starfury attacks with quiet, seasoned finesse, his expertise evident in tracks like “Watch your back (or I’ll watch it for you)” and “Drakna Queen” — two unconventionally energetic numbers that would be difficult to listen to live if not for Starfury’s sure hand bringing them harmony.

“Alright, we’re gonna slow things down for a bit,” Graywater announces, eyes sparkling with excitement as she looks at Starfury. “Tyril’s got a new song and we want you guys to be the first to hear it.”

By now, I’ve seen enough of Starfury’s performances to say that he’s not a nervous performer. Even in the earlier stages of his career, there was always a quiet assuredness about him — which could have also been easily called arrogance — and while that’s still present now, there’s something different about the way he interacts with the crowd, a sense of humility present in the way he put his hands together and gives them a brief bow before he sits himself in front of the piano.

“I would like to dedicate this to a person very special to me,” he begins, his fingers gentle on the keys, a soft, lilting melody dancing in the air.

(He’s not even the least bit subtle about the way he looks at Graywater.)

“She has reminded me, time and again, that hope and love, when we allow it, can shine the brightest light in the dark.” Graywater shakes her head as if to shrug in nonchalance, but she meets his eyes dead on, her smile beaming with pride.

Turning to the crowd, Starfury adds, “I hope this gives you as much joy as you’ve given me. This one’s called ‘Kilvali.’”

For the next minute, it’s just Starfury and the piano, the world quiet as his voice fills the air. If there was ever any doubt that Starfury had lost his vocal prowess, there wouldn’t be any now. His voice is clear and strong — reaching even the farthest row of people on the music grounds — albeit with a softness now that I’ve never heard from him before, his attachment to his music feeling infinitely more personal.

“All my moments with you are worth whatever pain that came before,” he sings, his voice soaring as the rest of the band join him in the second verse. The performance is even more powerful with the added instrumentation.

Tiny cellphone flashlights illuminate the crowd as they sway their hands in time to the song, the emotion in Starfury’s voice rolling out in waves.

Twitter user @notmxwllbmnt13 sums it up nicely:

SJSKJSJSK TYRIL STARFURY KILLED ME TONIGHT!! ALL!! THE!! FEELS!!

(It really was beautiful.)

The crowd cheers as the song draws to a close, but the battle’s not over yet (as Starfury would tell me himself later) — the true test lying in whether or not his second song proves a testament to his newfound voice in songwriting… or if it’s just a one-time stroke of luck.

“If it’s alright with you, we’d like to play you another new one,” he says and the applause is deafening when he turns over the mic to Volari, the latter pulling him into a one-armed hug before taking to the crowd.

If Duskraven’s interviews post-breakup are to be believed, Starfury has never — not once — written a song that wasn’t intended for himself. (She claimed to have co-written plenty of solos for Starfury, but he allegedly never returned the favor.) A quick glance at his repertoire would make this allegation appear true.

“It is true,” he tells me simply when I bring it up later in the tour bus. (Despite the coolness of his voice, I notice him shift a little in his seat.) “I was... unconfident, extending my words to other artists like that. I was also prideful and arrogant — afraid to face the judgment and criticism of my peers, and for that, I truly am sorry to Kaya. She deserved better from me as a partner.”

It seems Starfury has taken that incident to heart. Listening to “Purple Dreams” with Volari’s teasing falsetto on the forefront, it becomes clear that Starfury wrote this with the former’s vocals in mind, the flirtatious mix of his sassy vocal riffs and playful onstage antics giving the song a delicious, intoxicating energy.

It’s probably the most experimental I’ve heard from Starfury as a writer, both in terms of lyricism and melody.

“I’ve learned a lot this last year, creating music with BLADES,” he explains. “Not only did I find a new perspective on songwriting thanks to them, but my bandmates also gave me the courage to try things outside of my comfort zone and to allow myself to make mistakes. They inspire me.”

Years ago, he was dubbed as stiff and awkward outside of the theater stage, with Duskraven providing all the charm in their partnership, but now, on stage with BLADES — as Volari points his sultry gaze at him, singing his own lyrics to him — Starfury smirks, leaning ever so slightly against the showman as his hands tease along the guitar strings, driving the crowd wild.

It’s clear by the end of the song that Starfury has won over the crowd, and for once, he actually seems to revel in it, his smile beaming as he takes in the applause.

The rest of the band are even more thrilled for him, each leaving their posts to engulf him in another hug.

He doesn’t hesitate this time, allowing the fond gesture in front of their adoring crowd, each of them savoring the quiet moment, and I think, out of all the times I’ve seen Starfury on stage, this has to be my favorite version of him.

In the company of his friends, lifting and supporting each other, Tyril Starfury shines brighter than any star.

“We haven’t talked about what we’re doing after yet,” Starfury admits when I ask him about the future of BLADES after Morella Fest. (Each of the members are also solo artists in their own right, after all.) “But whatever happens at the end of the tour, we’ll always have each other, regardless of whether the band continues or not. I can’t imagine my life without these people now and I hope I never have to.”

He’s smiling as he says this, watching his bandmates fight over the last levenfruit before he excuses himself to join them, Graywater and Ellarious easily making space for him in the dining booth, Volari and Imtura rounding out the little world that now seems completely their own.

This article also appears in BLADES: The Most Ambitious Crossover Event in Morella Music History. You can find the full feature on www - kadethebard - com.

tagging: @sophie-summer ✨

#playchoices #blades of light and shadow #tyril starfury #tyril x mc #playchoices fanfic #reposting bc i am dumb and have a fake external link in the fic that made tumblr hidethis from the tags #bonus hc:#threep is there even tho i didnt get to include him #he’s a stray that just showed up one day and no remembers who fed him first #(it was mal)#but they keep feeding him anyway and he kind of just stays and travels with them #kade has caught each of them talking to threep (when they think no one is looking)#as if the cat could talk back #EDIT: why wont this show up in the tags im stresseddddd #my fic

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luvneedsnosyt · 4 years ago

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My Favorite Albums of 2020

Here is my list of my personal top albums of 2020

You can find my separate list for top EPs of 2020 here

My Previous monthly lists from 2020: January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, October, November

My list last year for my top albums of 2019 can be found here.

Honorable Mention:

Aluna - Renaissance Genre: Synth Pop / Dance

Lead singer from AlunaGeorge steps out on her own with this fast paced romp. She brings along many well known producers like Diplo (who she’s signed with as a solo artist), KAYTRANADA, SG Lewis and more.

Proof: Warrior (Feat. SG Lewis) / Body Pump

Big Gigantic - Free Your Mind Genre: Electronic / Dance

The Colorado duo Big Gigantic’s big breakout was their sixth album in 2016’s Brighter Future that really expanded the reach of their high octane music. Four years later we have their follow up in this joyous affair. With their use of horns (one of them is a trained saxophonist) they always have a big band feel that meets the club in their sound that's so infectious.

Proof: Burning Love (Feat. Kidepo) / You’re The One (Feat. Nevve)

Cam - The Otherside Genre: Country / Pop

I’m not typically a big country fan but this country with a little infusion of pop is something I can ride for. Really digging the ways Cam expanded on a typical country vernacular while still staying true to it as well.

Proof: The Otherside / Classic

CloZee - Neon Jungle Genre: Electronic / World Bass

CloZee’s musical landscapes are living breathing entities. Her music is lush and vibrant that seem to flow to and frow with a breeze. Not what most people would attribute to the genre which is why it stands out.

Proof: Winter Is Coming / Heya

dvsn - A Muse In Her Feelings Genre: R&B / Neo-Soul

The third album by Toronto R&B duo dvsn and this is by far their best. A seductive and savory exploration through love, sexuality and heartbreak.

Proof: Dangerous City (Feat. Ty Dolla $ign & Buju Banton) / A Muse

Duke Dumont - Duality // Duality Remixed Genre: Electronic / Dance

This is sort of a greatest hits with some new songs masked as a debut. The fact most of these songs we have heard before and some way back to 2015, knocks this album back a bit on my list. That being said Duke Dumont is one of the best at funk infused dance music and this album bangs!

Proof: Ocean Drive / Together (w/ How To Dress Well) // Ocean Drive (Purple Disco Machine Remix) / Together (Luttrell Remix) w/ How To Dress Well

Empress Of - I’m Your Empress Of Genre: R&B / Pop

Empress Of’s sophomore album Us was quite an upward trajectory from her already good debut album. On her third record here that momentum is kept going with a little flair. This is her most danceable record yet with some nostalgic synths added to her musical attire that’s an accessory worth attention but not too distracting.

Proof: Bit of Rain / Love Is A Drug

Fakear - Everything Will Grow Again Genre: Electronic / Dance / Tropical House

French DJ Fakear’s eclectic sophomore album is lush and expansive in it’s sound. You feel enveloped in an exotic and kinetic world that you can’t help but get lost in while listening.

Proof: Sekoia / Rituals (Feat. Luiza Fernandes)

Georgia - Seeking Thrills Genre: Synth Pop

This sophomore album by the english singer is a riot full of pulsating beats and neon lit synth patterns. The singing has Santigold/M.I.A. vibes without being an emulation.

Proof: Never Let You Go / Ray Guns

Halsey - MANIC Genre: Pop / R&B

It’s been a pretty dramatic rise for the singer. She was already a sensation by the time her debut album Badlands came out in 2015. Now she’s one of the sought after features and a pretty big act in music. This third album MANIC is her most consistent, powerful and best. She has perfected how to utilize her raspy voice and how to connect with the listener and evoke strong emotions.

Proof: you should be sad / Without Me

Illenium - ASCEND (Remixes) Genre: Electronic / Dance

Illenium’s ASCEND was my 3rd favorite record of 2019. As quite a nice gift Illenium dropped off this super sized remix album with at least one remix of each song off the glorious album.

Proof: Good Things Fall Apart (3LAU Remix) Feat. Jon Bellion / In Your Arms (Alan Walker Remix) Feat. X Ambassadors

Kingdom - Neurofire Genre: Electronic / Neo-Soul / Dance

Even if you don’t know Kingdom off the top of your head you’ve probably heard a Kingdom produced song without knowing. He’s been a behind the scenes go-to producer and runs a label that has such artists as Kalela and Dawn Richards on it. Neurofire is a smooth soulful electronic album that has such an contagious bob to it you can’t help yourself but start dancing.

Proof: High Enough (Feat. Tiara Thomas) / His n Hers (Feat. Semma)

Lady Gaga - Chromatica Genre: Pop / Dance

Despite her immense success, Lady Gaga is not a complacent woman. After readjusting her sound to something more stripped down on 2016’s Joann, Gaga did another about face this time leaning into the EDM world and making an ecstatic dance record. Linking with many big hitter DJs for production work in Tchami, BloodPop, Madeon, Skrillex, Axwelll and others, who create a great vivacious platform for Gaga to strut all over.

Proof: Stupid Love / Replay

Låpsley - Through Water Genre: Indie Pop / Electronic

It’s been four years since British singer Låpsley’s debut album. But it seems that time was well utilized as this is a great leap for the artist. I enjoyed her understated debut but here she was able to incorporate a little more kinetic energy in her recording while keeping the sentimentalism of them really effectively.

Proof: Ligne 3 / Womxn

Lastlings - First Contact Genre: Electronic / Future Bass / Dance

I haven’t heard the early EPs from Australian dou Lastlings so first listening to this album was quite a pleasant surprise. There’s some definite influences from fellow Australian act RÜFÜS DU SOL here. And influences that they utilize nicely.

Proof: Deja Vu / No Time

The Strokes - The New Abnormal Genre: Alternative / Rock

It’s not often an extremely successful rock group after an extended hiatus returns and makes one of their best albums. Working with Rick Ruban the legendary New York group returns after seven years with an album that exerts a high level of confidence and maturity. It doesn’t scream out at you as an album yet the music is incredibly in depth and rewarding.

Proof: Brooklyn Bridge to Chorus / Not The Same Anymore

Sylvan Esso - Free Love Genre: Synth Pop

For their third album the North Carolina based duo took a slightly scaled back sound as the tone is a bit more somber and muted then their past albums. The indie pop is much more dominant over the Electronic aspects of their music. It still however is their enjoyable meshing of the two and there’s still plenty of danceable moments, they are just more interspersed in a more internal faced record.

Proof: Ferris Wheel / Frequency

Tchami - Year Zero Genre: Electronic / Dance

The French DJ Techami finally drops a debut album and what a blast this is. Year Zero is a joy ride form start to finish with no real filler tracks of straight enjoyable dance records.

Proof: Ain’t That Kind Of Friend (Feat. Modesty) / Ghosts (Feat. Hana)

Tyler Swift - evermore Genre: Indie Pop / Folk

The second of Taylor’s 2020 albums; made with the National’s Aaron Dessor. This one you can tell is a bit of tracks that didn’t fit the construct of folklore. This has a bit of a “thrown together” feel, which sounds more harsh then how I mean it. With that being said these are still more of probably my favorite iteration we’ve seen of Taylor so I enjoy it immensely. More on folklore below.

Proof: ‘tis the damn season / ivy

We Are The City - RIP Genre: Rock / Alternative

This is the fifth by the Concadian Rock group but the first I have heard by them so I can’t offer insight on how this fits in their past work. But when I heard the guitars and crashing drums come in on the thunderous opener “Killer B-Side Music” I was instantly hooked. This is a fun and emotionally gripping journey through this groups organized chaos.

Proof: Killer B-Side Music / Saint Peter

The List:

Last One Out: The Naked And Famous - Recover Genre: Synth Pop

New Zealand band The Naked and Famous return with their fourth album full of their patented form of catchy synth pop meant to excite and evoke. The songs are take their shoes off and make themselves at home in your head demanding a sing along.

Proof: Sunseeker / Bury Us / Come As You Are / Coming Back To Me

35. Grimes - Miss Anthropocane Genre: Synth Pop / Electronic

It’s been an odd couple years for the singer/producer Grimes as her high profile relationship has pushed her further into the celebrity life then she has been in the past. Despite the chios she still is an extremely talented musician and this stellar album shows that off nicely. I feel Grimes was a bit too harsh on her previous album, 2015 Art Angels, which had a more general pop sensibility. I genuinely loved Art Angels. With her own frustration Grimes went back closer to her early sound with this follow up. Her ability to bend song structures to her will creates an ever changing and unpredictable landscape for the lister to get lost in.

Proof: So Heavy I Fell Through The Earth / Violence (w/ i_o) / Idoru / We Appreciate Power (Feat. HANA)

34. Taylor Swift - folklore Genre: Indie Pop / folk

Taylor had a busy quarantine using this time to link up with Aaron Dessner of the National and Jack Antonoff to make not one but two albums. The first one here a surprise drop in July hit everyone in all the feels. The stripped down sound felt right at home with the isolation a lot of us were feeling during this pandemic. Taylor’s writing is as piercing as ever over these mellow and somber tracks.

Proof: cardigan / my tears ricochet / seven / august

33. Dua Lipa - Future Nostalgia // Club Future Nostalgia Genre: Synth Pop / Dance

English singer Dua Lipa confidently busts out the sequence for this dazzling sophomore album. As the title suggests this is a futuristic blast from the past with influences from the 70’s disco and 80’s synth pop in a modern ensemble. The songs are all catchy af and danceable as hell but you still never lose sight of the true centerpiece and that is Dua’s authoritative voice. She has the perfect vocal conflexion for electronic songs as it's commending enough to not get lost in the kinetic ensembles but also light and malleable enough to ride the harmonies with grace. As can be seen by her getting all the GRAMMY nominations the world is taking note of this pop force.

Proof: Don’t Start Now / Cool / Physical / Break My Heart // Hallucinate (Paul Woolford Remix) / Don’t Start Now (KAYTRANADA Remix) / Physical (Mark Ronson Remix) Feat. Gwen Stefani / Cool (Jayda G Remix)

32. KAYTRANADA - BUBBA Genre: Electronic / R&B / Dance

Montreal based producer KAYTRANADA picks up right where his 2016 debut left off with this smooth and sensual vibe fest of an album. The album doesn’t ever go for anything too high or too low. The tempo is pretty consistent in a controlled bob that can get a crowd up and dancing or can be played in the background for a chill environment.

Proof: Go DJ (Feat. SiR) / 10% (Feat. Kali Uchis) / Need It (Feat. Masego) / The Worst In Me (Feat. Tinashe)

31. The Killers - Imploding The Mirage Genre: Rock / Alternative

With over 16 years in the game, The Vegas rock group and one of my personal all time favorite bands has not lost a step. Imploding The Mirage follows their 2017 Wonderful Wonderful as a return to their early form. This new album is a triumphant and boisterous affair exuding with confidence that only a group together this long can employ.

Proof: Dying Breed / Caution / Running Towards a Place / When the Dreams Run Dry

30. Blanche - EMPIRE Genre: Indie Pop

21 year old Belgium singer Blanche’s raspy commanding voice is one beyond her years. It’s very delicate while demanding your attention. On this debut she utilizes the effective voice nicely by surrounding it with a cinematic harmonious backing.

Proof: Empire / Till We Collide / Fences / How Does That Sound

29. BRONSON (Golden Features & ODESZA) - BRONSON Genre: Electronic / Dance

Connecting from an admiration of each other’s music, Seattle electronic duo ODESZA and Australian DJ Golden Feature team up for this new trio that merges their sounds while give us something completely new from the artists. Where ODESZA’s sound is more light and airy this collaboration is darker and dense. The weight of each track give them a powerful emotive feel as they blend into each other while the album progresses.

Proof: HEART ATTACK (Feat. lau.ra) / KNOW ME (Feat. Gallant) / TENSE / DAWN (Feat. Totally Enormous Extinct Dinosaurs)

28. GASHI - 1984 Genre: alt-R&B / Synth Pop

It’s been a long road GASHI, growing up as an Albianian refugee before his family settled in Brooklyn as a child. GASHI struggled initially to learn English and eventually used music as his tool to learning the language. Dropping out of college to focus on music GASHI dropped a mixtape and couple albums that were pretty below the radar. It seems in 2018 connecting with DJ Snake was a catalyst for the singer. His last two albums have a focused synth heavy vernacular with an 80’s nostalgia. There’s a slightly haunting tension in his music that brings a level of wonder and mystery. The slight reverb makes the tracks feel as though they are recorded in a dark void with the jabbing synths as youre neon guilding light.

Proof: Mama (Feat. Sting) / Paranoid / Never Give Up On Me / Mr. Ferrari

27. Caroline Rose - Superstar Genre: Indie Rock / Alternative

Starting as a more folk/country based artist, the NY based artist took a dramatic shift in her music to a more indie rock style with some hints of synth pop and the move has proved rather fruitful. On her fourth album Caroline has hit a rather confident sweet spot. Superstar is filled with tunes you can jam out to with reckless abandon.

Proof: Nothing’s Impossible / Got to Go My Own Way / Someone New / Back at the Beginning

26. Jason Ross - 1000 Faces // 1000 Faces Remixes Genre: Electronic / Dance

Seven Lion’s understudy takes an emphatic step out of the shadows and it’s quite a big step! 1000 Faces pushes the twin cities DJ in the mix of top electronic DJs. He definitely shows off how he learned the use of dead space from Seven Lions but in his own style for dramatic drops in his ensembles. Suspense is used almost as an instrument leading to crashing moments meant to get you up and moving and your feelings yanked on.

Proof: When the Night Falls (w/ Fiora) / One that Got Away (w/ Dabin & Dylan Matthew) / Known You Before (w/ Seven Lions & Emilie Brandt) / 1000 Faces (w/ Dia Frampton) // Leave Me To Wonder (Just A Gent Remix) w/ Fiora / When The Night Falls (AWAKEND Remix) w/ Fiora / Known You Before (Trivecta Remix) w/ Seven Lions Feat. Emilie Brandt / Shelter (No Mana Remix) Feat. Melanie Fontana

25. HAIM - Women in Music Pt. III Genre: Pop

The HAIM sisters are slowily chipping away at their sound adding in more elements, while also chipping away at the patriarchy. Women in Music Pt. III is a further expanding the trios musical pallet with more R&B and Jazz sensibilities then we’ve heard from them before. Their strength is still their strong consistency. At 16 tracks this album still feels like there isn’t a wasted moment, every song is solid in its own right and contributes to the overall arc of the project. My sneaky favorite track is the smooth “3 AM” that sounds like it could be on a Janet Jackson album with it’s soulful and catchy as hell chorus and bouncy beat that get your head bopping and shoulders rolling.

Proof: Gasoline / Don’t Wanna / 3 AM / Now I’m In It

24. PVRIS - Use Me Genre: Rock / Scythe Pop / Alternative

Rock music as a genre has been a bit pushed back from the limelight the last few years. However that doesn’t mean the genre is dying and great acts like PVRIS prove that. Following up their thrilling 2017 album All We Know of Heaven, All We Need of Hell we see the rock group experimenting more with their sound. The 2019 EP gave us a teaser of the ways Synth Pop will infiltrate their vernacular more on this record. That doesn’t mean they are “going straight pop” here as this is still a rambunctious form of rock music. Just more blurry around the edges. PVRIS and lead singer Lynn are able to evoke such strong emotions in ever track, it’s impossible to not feel and sympathize with what her emotion is for that track while listening.

Proof: Death of Me / Hallucinations / Old Wounds / Wish You Well

23. Disclosure - ENERGY Genre: Electronic / Dance

After a decade in the genre and more then a 5 year break from their exhilarating sophomore album Caracal (one of my personal favorite records of 2015), the London DJ duo return with this double album stuffed with euphoria inducing dance tunes. The name of the album is the consistent throughline, every track is bursting with vibes and energy. There’s also an obvious globalization with their already inclusive music with many songs featuring singers in other languages and using themes from that culture in the beat making. It’s quite a thrilling journey that keeps you guessing song to song what will come up next.

Proof: Lavender (w/ Channel Tres) / Douha (Mali Mali) w/ Fatoumata Diawara / Tondo (w/ Eko Roosevelt) / Know Your Worth (w/ Khalid)

22. Deante’ Hitchcock - BETTER Genre: Hip Hop

What an impressive debut from the 27 year old Atlanta rapper. I wasn’t up on Deante’ until this album came out so I don’t have knowledge of his rise but this was a great introduction to him. You can really see the merging of older Atlanta influences from Goodie Mob, Outkast and Ludacris with new hip hop from J. Cole, Kendrick Lamar and Wale in his sound. Hip Hop is in a funky moment right now as there’s a bit of a struggle on what the dominant sound and style will be. This is a necessary struggle for such a diverse and malleable form of music. For me this is my favorite form of the genre and seeing new artists like Deante’ and JID come in with such vigor let’s me know it’s not going to die off.

Proof: I Remember / I Got Money Now (Feat. JID) / Circles / Angels

21. Alina Baraz - It Was Divine Genre: R&B / Soul

The soothing and sultry vocals of singer Alina Baraz have been some of my favorites since she slid on the scene as the vocalist on Urban Flora EP with producer Galimatias in 2015. Her soft and understated Soul music flows and sways in your head like a mellow gust of wind picking you up and carrying you to a better place. Starting from her previous project, Alina’s partnership with Khalid has quickly become one of my favorite pairings, that I hope they continue.

Proof: Morocco (Feat. 6LACK) / Endlessly / Off The Grid (Feat. Khalid) / More Than Enough

20. Harry Styles - Fine Line Genre: Alternative / Indie Pop

On the first round of albums from the One Direction boys I will admit I was more drawn to ZAYN’s alt-R&B sound. But even with that I still enjoyed and could tell Harry was doring much more musically on his 70’s rock influenced self titled solo debut. It only took him two tries to perfect his sound on this brilliant follow up. On Harry Styles I felt Harry was emulating his influences a bit too much but here he’s perfect keeping that same nostalgic vernacular while modernizing the sound. The 26 year old brit boasts a level of confidence here that is pretty engraved in the music. The R&B banger :Adore You” was my favorite song on the album on the first few listens but eventually the emotionally gripping closer “Fine Line” caught up with me for all the feels.

Proof: Watermelon Sugar / Adore You / Lights Up / Fine Line

19. Sufjan Stevens - The Ascension Genre: Synth Pop

Sufjan is an artist that likes to bounce around in styles project to project and this might be his most dramatic bounce as he takes on a more electronic palette then his normally acoustical vernacular. It still is a Sufjan album and very internal and subdued in vibe, but with a more expansive musical landscape that makes his normally intimate and crouched music a bit more of an expansive and sprawling affair. The moments of emotional outburst are mostly through the synths and drums rather than Steven’s words and lead to the tracks all individually wound tight with tension and then carefully crafted moments of erupting release.

Proof: Video Games / Ativan / Sugar / America

18. Krewella - zer0 Genre: Electronic / Synth Pop / Dance

Good things come to those who wait and we had to wait quite a while for the sophomore album from the sister duo of Krewella. zer0 is a burst of danceable pop tunes stuffed with numerous outside influences on the sisters. There’s some general pop influences from artists like Christina Agulaera, there’s electronic backings with notes taken from contemporaries like Alison Wonderland and there’s a definite spine of their Pakistani heritage audibly visible as well. This is quite a confident and exhilarating cannon shot of an album by the duo I feel has been a bit criminally overlooked.

Proof: Good On You (Feat. Nucleya) / Anxiety (Feat. Arrested Youth) / Ghost / Greenlights

17. Jack Garratt - Love, Death & Dancing Genre: R&B / Pop / Electronic

British singer Jack Garratt returns with his bursting soulful vocals over a unpredictably windy electronic pallet. Every track by Jack Garratt takes the listener on quite a picturesque journey with dramatic shifts in tone and pace. In much less deserving hands this can be a recipe for a disastrously chaotic listen but as mentioned before Jack’s smooth vocal delivery is an effective juxtaposition to the kinetic melodies. You never know what the next turn is but whenever you feel lost, Jack extends his voice as a helping hand to reel you back in. Eventually you just know you’re along for a ride and to buckle up and enjoy.

Proof: Time / Return Them To The One / Better / Circles

16. Charli XCX - how i’m feeling now Genre: Synth Pop / Dance

Only 8 months after her third album Charli returns with possibly her most refined project of her career. Made during the first month of the stay at home order from the pandemic, how i’m feeling now is an album about isolation and loneliness. Equipped with her standard unique form of deconstructionist pop and electronic melding with a dash of 0 fucks given, the rushed nature is sort of a vernacular the tracks wear proudly on their sleeves. There’s a stripping of some of the plasticity making the raw emotions of the tracks stand out.

Proof: forever / enemy / i finally understand / anthems

15. Louis The Child - Here For Now Genre: Electronic / Synth Pop / Dance

After a couple EP’s and a speedy rise, the Chicago based Electronic duo Louis The Child release their debut full length album and flex a bit more diversity then we’ve previously seen from them. WIth a sound a bit more geared to expand their audience the group dables more in R&B, Hip Hop and pop then in their more electronic focused EP’s. This expansion is not a dilution at all though. Their unique melding of grooves in unorthodox way is on full display across this joyous album.

Proof: Nobody Like You (w/ Vera Blue) / Don’t Mind / Free (w/ Drew Love) / Fade Away

14. Jessie Ware - What’s Your Pleasure Genre: Pop / Dance / Soul

Needing a reset, UK’s Jessie Ware took a break from music to focus on her family and other forms of collaboration like her podcast Table Manners. Shortly after the birth of her second child, the itch came back but with a new outlook on life it was a different itch. Jessie has been one of the great sad song writers of the last 10 years, on What’s Your Pleasure? Jessie wanted to focus more on the positive love she has in her life and how she just wants to joyously dance in celebration of it. Using Disco as her muse Jessie makes a modern discoteca equipped the listener with alacrity and positivity while promoting they get up and get down. The timing of such an album was quite intuitive and brilliant by the singer. She started recording the album in 2019 but by the time it was ready to release was in the middle of a pandemic. Perfect timing for such a jubilant album.

Proof: Spotlight / Save A Kiss / Adore You / Mirage (Don’t Stop)

13. Buscabulla - Regresa Genre: Latin / Pop / Dance

When Latin synth pop duo Buscabulla returned home they did to a post-hurricane Maria Puerto Rico. After years in New York they were returning to a place they love but that was forced to change dramatically. The married couple came equipped with a new record deal and new found personal stability, but chose to surround themselves in the instability their friends and family were forced to live with after the natural disaster. Despite the chaos their music evokes hope, and joy. My limited and very broken knowledge of Spanish doesn’t give me much of an insight on the song meanings but the vibe of this whole album just gets me up off my butt and moving my feet and hips. The latin based rhythms with an Electronic pop influence makes this project quite an infectious and joyous romp.

Proof: Vàmono / El Aprieto / Mío / NTE

12. Purity Ring - WOMB Genre: Synth Pop

The third album from Canadian duo is a bit of a return to their darker and more brooding sound of their debut from the glossier and brighter sophomore album. Some of these descriptors may sound like a negative but trust me it is not. Now I seem to be in a minority that enjoyed the more electronic and pop focused sophomore album a bit more than their debut but it was still their debut that drew me in to them so this return is not met with any dismay from me. Always fascinated with the human body, WOMB is a coming of age album focusing on the weird things our body begins doing as we mature and how that affects us emotionally. It took them five years for this third album from another eternity but sometimes maturation just takes some time.

Proof: pink lightning / i like the devil / vehemence / stardew

11. Run The Jewels - RTJ4 Genre: Hip Hop

The first track is quite an exhilarating indication that even though this is the fourth record from the duo Run The Jewels, they haven’t lost any of their vigor. Dropped early during the protests going on around the country for police violence, RTJ had impeccable timing for their best project to date. All RTJ albums are quite a whirlwind and this is no exception. Both artists have been in the industry for over 20 years, but their collaboration has brought them both to new heights of notoriety for each of them. With this new stature nothing has changed in their music though, they still want to provide you music to party to and music to revolt to.

Proof: yankee and the brave (ep. 4) / JU$T (Feat. Pharrell WIlliams & Zach de la Rocha) / the ground below / a few words from the firing squad (radiation)

10. Super Duper - HALLELUJAH! Genre: Electronic / Dance

The full length debut from Nashville producer Super Duper is quite an endorphin shot in the ear. I first found out about Super Duper seeing him open for Petit Biscuit a couple years ago without knowing anything about him. I enjoyed his use of electronic backdrops with reverb and echo to create space within it along with the cleaver voice samples and hard hitting drum patterns to inhabit said space. I immediately found his debut EP and eventually his follow up. When his EP Prelude came out earlier this year there was a noticeable uptick in the pop sensibilities in his sound. Sometimes this can be considered a negative but here it added another form of personality. His earlier albums were all expansive landscapes but the increase in pop singers and vocal samples adds a further human element for the listener to identify with as they explore these powerful backdrops.

Proof: We Had Everything / Quiver (Feat. Lonas) / Feel Good (Feat. Bre Kennedy) / All On You / Religion (Feat. Bre Kennedy)

9. Joji - Nectar Genre: R&B / Pop

Japanese singer George Miller has come a long way from his jokester YouTube days to his sophomore album here. Beginning his career in entertainment as an online shock humor performer, Joji is known for being responsible for the “Harlem Shake” meme craze years ago. In 2017 Miller decided to focus on a legit music career dropping off his debut EP In Tongues that year. The EP was a good introduction but suffered a bit of consistency. The kinks were ironed out a bit for his debut album, Ballads 1 which had the gut wrenching “Slow Dancing In The Dark”. There still was a bit of consistency issues present though but those are all but fully worked out on this impressive sophomore effort. Creativity was never an issue for Joji’s music but needed to be channeled more in a cohesive direction across a whole project and it seems he is able to find that focus here. “Run” is up there with one of the most beautiful songs to come out this year. It is pretty impressive the growth Joji has made in four years and I can’t wait to see what’s next.

Proof: Daylight (w/ Diplo) / Run / Sanctuary / Afterthought (Feat. BENEE) / Your Man

8. Shallou - Magical Thinking Genre: Electronic / Synth Pop / Future Bass

After a few lovely EP’s over the years, LA producer Shollou dropped off his melodic and ethereal debut full length. Shallou’s form of electronic music is very subdued and modest on the surface yet expansive and encompassing the deeper you venture as a listener. Where the music lacks in flash it does not lack in complexity, emotional depth and infectious melodies. Shollou created worlds of subtlety and sophistication, that double dips as easy listening sounds or music to immerse yourself and get lost in.

Proof: Forget / Mutual Love (w/ Zachary Knowles) / Silhouettes (Feat. Vancouver Sleep Clinic) / Older (w/ Daya) / Good Together (w/ Ashe)

7. The Weeknd - After Hours Genre: alt-R&B / neo-Soul

One of my favorite artists making music today (and one of the inspirations of me making this blog in the first place), The Toronto based singer Abel Tesfaye goes a bit back to his roots while still expanding his musical palette on his fourth full length record here. As the 2018 EP My Dear Melancholy, hinted to us, the neon lighting synth pop of his precious two records are taking more of a back seat for the dark and moody R&B melodies of his first record and mixtapes.The difference is his early mixtapes were a consistent mood but After Hours is a whole experience. Now as a more seasoned artist Abel is able to more effectively mold the atmosphere to his will. And take in previous explorations as well as new ones into his atmospheric sound seamlessly. “Blinding Lights” that would have fit perfectly on Star Boy or “In Your Eyes” equipped with some new jazzy saxophone yet neither standing out in the whole composition of the project show this dexterity off well. The former being possibly the most successful single of 2020.

Proof: Scared To Live / Heartless / Blinding Lights / In Your Eyes / After Hours

6. Jonah Mutono - GERG Genre: alt-R&B / Soul

London based Kenyan singer Jonah drops off a gorgeous debut album here. Jonah, who himself grew up in a very religious family, has been hiding his sexuality and this album addresses how that puts a strain on him and his relationships. GERG is a gripping expose as the singer comes to terms with his own needs and desires and brings to light them for the audience to see and feel. His voice is both commanding and soothing, mostly in a deep somber tone but can get up to some surprising heights when needed. His music sort of sounds like a cross between Kwabs and Frank Ocean. “The Low” which specifically is above loving someone in private from your family is maybe one of the most feels inducing songs of 2020.

Proof: Shoulders / If You Mean It / The Low / Circulation / South Bank

5. Phantogram - Ceremony Genre: Synth Pop

Despite the chaos in the world that is defining 2020, the return of one of my favorite groups in music is about finding the love that will keep you positive and moving through it. It’s been a bit of a journey for the New York duo with some thrilling highs and heartbreaking woes. After the success of their 2009 debut album Eyelid Dreams. The group really took their time on their sophomore effort knowing this will more be what defines their direction and sound then the debut. After a couple EPs to hold fans over when 2014’s Voices dropped it was a triumphant release that pushed their notoriety in the indie pop world to great heights. The next year was a gifted creative experiment collaboration with Oukast’s Big Boi in the Big Grams EP, but later that year tragedy struck with lead singer Sarah Barthel’s sister committing suicide. Three was released in 2016 written and recorded during the morning of this death which led to a much more emotionally charged offering. For their fourth album they could have kept with the darker vernacular of its predecessor but after going through the healing process from their own heart break, Sarah and Josh wanted to instead offer a record of healing and hope to the world in a time we all need it. That doesn’t mean Ceremony is devoid of the impacting sentiments of before. Ceremony is still as much a personal record as Three, but looks more to the future with a hopeful viewpoint then the past looking record before it. A necessary step for anyone to take towards healing from a trauma and/or tragedy. Nothing shows this off more than the poignantly brilliant “Pedestal”, possibly the most passionate and emotionally intimate record of the group’s career, that never fails to leave me in goosebumps no matter how many times I listen.

Proof: Dear God / Into Happiness / In a Spiral / Pedestal / Let Me Down

4. Childish Gambino - 3.15.20 Genre: Hip Hop / R&B

For possibly his final album as Childish Gambino, Donald Glover left us an interesting crescendo of his musical career. 3.15.20 is a conglomerate of his previous albums wrapped up in a concise and cohesive, yet exploratory and eclectic album. The Boom Bap inspiration of CAMP, the spaced out futuristic wonder of Because The Internet, and the nostalgic and funk driven change up of Awaken My Love! are all represented here. The way the album meaders has been something critiqued of this record, but I find it’s part of it’s creative charm. Time being a theme of the album you feel the way time is a bit aimless as it just progresses, which leads to the moments you remember really sticking through. On your first listen you never know what time has in store for you on the upcoming track. Some may think this is peculiar and too subtle of a final statement, but I think it fits the artists perfectly. Donald can be in your face, but as his career in comedy and Television progressed he found his sweet spot at being subtle and rewarding those that pay attention to the margins.Who knows what is next for Donald’s career (he is halfway to an EGOT), but if this is the end of his musical journey I am very glad to be a witness of it.

Proof: Algorhythm / Time (Feat. Ariana Grande) / 19.10 / 42.26 / 47.48

3. Kacy Hill - Is It Selfish If We Talk About Me Again Genre: R&B / neo-Soul / Synth Pop

It has been quite a journey for the 26 year old singer to this point. After beginning a career in modeling at the age of 16, a venture that she sort of fell into and wasn’t something she was passionate about, Hill also began dabbling in music. While on tour with Kanye West as a backup dancer for the Yeezus Tour, Kanye heard a self released single of hers and immediately signed her to his G.O.O.D. Music label. This is around when she popped on my radar. After a 2015 EP and a 2017 Album, Kacy decided to leave the label which leads us to this self released sophomore album from the singer. It seems the roller coaster of the young singer’s career up to this point has given a clarity for Hill to create her most emotional gripping and cohesive project. Part of the strength of this album was working intimately with Francis and the Lights who is a producer on 6 of the 11 tracks and gives the project it’s common vernacular. Utilizing Francis’ Synth and bass heavy backdrops, Hill allows her sweet falsetto to hit some impassioned locations. There is a sort of yin and yang to her vulnerable lyrics and the darker cavernous production that give each track depth. Kacy is now in full control of her music and we see she is very capable with this role.

Proof: To Someone Else / Much Higher / Porsche / I Believe In You (Feat. Francis and the Lights) / Six

2. Kasbo - The Making of a Paracosm Genre: Electronic / Future Bass

It’s easy to get lost in the lavish and vibrant ecosystems of Swedish producer Kasbo’s immersive music. Kasbo’s debut album Places We Don’t Know was easily one of my favorite and most replayed albums of 2018. For the follow up. Kasbo ups the ante a bit with this lush and cinematic offering; each song is rich with so many layered melodies and bursting with gripping emotion. The coatings of pianos, synths and vocal samples are woven together with an orchestral composition. The tracks all have a form of deep breathes inward and explosive exhilations that lift the listener up in their swirling harmonies. Though the pieces all are vast and expansive they are both introspective and affectionately personal. Kasbo had a very tough time in between his debut and sophomore albums, with an undiagnosable bout of severe hearing loss. Once his hearing returned and he was able to continue where he left off on his music you can hear the sense of leaving it all out there in this project. He doesn’t know if the condition will return so he made sure to make this project one that conveys what he needed to convey; which despite that scary premonition is unbridled hope.

Proof: Play Pretend (Feat. Ourchives) / Blur / Lune (Feat. Vancouver Sleep Clinic) / Staying In Love (Feat. Nea) / Show You

1. Tame Impala - The Slow Rush Genre: Synth-Pop / Electronic

From the opening chopped up and synth-out vocal sample you realize this journey the multi-instrumentalist from Australia is about to take us on is one much different than his previous efforts. It took Kevin Parker 5 years to follow up his mega acclaimed third album Currents. The album pushed him to a new stature selling out large amphitheaters on his own and as a consistent festival headliner. The long wait and meteoric rise proved fruitful for this outwardly exuberant and extroverted yet simultaneously introspective and internal album. The Slow Rush is for anyone that connects with people who while socially at parties or clubs constantly feel hidden to the world. Those who both see the world moving around them at a fast pace yet still feel as if they are moving in slow motion.

Musically, The Slow Rush is a sonic fondue pot of many genres and timelines melted and stirred together. There’s both nostalgia and futuristic aspiration swirled in every track with footsteps in every decade from the 60’s to 2020. Imagine Hall & Oates, Pink Floyd and Daft Punk having a musical orgy while on acid. Despite the sheer vast amount of styles and genres being pressured into this album there is an uncanny level of sophistication by Kevin in this science experiment of an album. The project’s crescendo is the psychedelic thunder cloud of “It Might Be Time”. The track starts out airy, spacious and understated, slowly synth keys start jabbing in, yet still don’t ready you for the bombardment of 808’s, and symbol crashes of the momentous chorus that hits you right in the gut and gets you on your feet.

The Slow Rush is both an album you can put on at a party as well as chill alone and vibe out to. On the surface are the euphoric dance indications but a deeper inspection, should one wish to take on, finds the emotional and gripping crosscurrents that are interwoven throughout. If there’s levels of protection from past pain, and uncertainty for the future holding you back, well “it might be time to face it”.

Proof: One More Year / Borderline / Posthumous Forgiveness / Breathe Deeper / On Track / It Might Be Time

Others:

Good: Abir - HEAT, A Boogie wit da Hoodie - Artist 2.0, AceMo - I Want to Believe, AceMoMa - A New Dawn [HOA007], The Aces - Under My Influence, Action Bronson - Only For Dolphins, Active Child - In Another Life, Actress - Larama & Desire, Adrian Younge & Ali Shaheed Muhammad - Jazz Is Dead 001, Adrian Younge, Ali Shaheed Muhammad & Roy Area - JID002, Aesop Rock - Freedom Finger [Music from the Game], Aesop Rock - Spirit World Field Guild, A. G. Cook - Apple, Agnes Obel - Myopia, Alanis Morissette - Such Pretty Forks in the Road, Alaska Reid - Big Bunny, Alec Benjamin - These Two Windows, Alexandra Savior - The Archer, Allan Rayman - Christian, Alicia Keys - ALICIA, Allie X - Cape God, ALMA - Have You Seen Her?, Aloe Blacc - All Love Everything, Aminé - Limbo, Andrianne Lenker - songs, Andy Shauf - The Neon Skyline, Ángela Muñoz & Adrian Younge - Introspection, Angelica Vila - Deception Szn 1, Angel Olsen - Whole New Mess, Anna Burch - If You’re Dreaming, Another Sky - I Slept On The Floor, Ariana Grande - Positions, Armin van Buuren - Lost Tapes, A$AP Ferg - Floor Seats II, Astrid S - Leave It Behind, Atmosphere - Whenever, August Alsina - The Product III: stateofEMERGEncy, The Avalanches - We Will Always Love You, Ava Max - Heaven & Hell, AWOLNATION - Angel Miners & the Lightning Riders Baauer - PLANET’S MAD, Bad Bunny - LAS QUE NO IBAN A SALIR, Bassnector - All Colors, Baths - Pop Music / False B-Sides II, BENEE - Hey u x, Banoffee - Look at Us Now Dad, Beach Bunny - Honeymoon, beabadoobee - Fake It Flowers, Becca Mancari - The Greatest Part, Becca Stevens - Wonderbloom, Benny the Butcher - Burden of Proof, Best Coast - Always Tomorrow, Beyoncé - The Lion King: The Gift (Deluxe Edition), Big Sean - Detroit 2, Bishop Nehru - Nehruvian Tuesdays: Vol, 1, blackbear - everything means nothing, BLACKSTARKIDS - Whatever, Man, Black Thought - Streams of Thought, Vol. 3: Cane and Abel, Blu & Exile - Miles, Blxst - No Love Lost, Bombay Bicycle Club - Everything Else Has Gone Wrong, Bongeziwe Mabandla - iimini, Boniface - Boniface, Botany - End The Summer F(or)ever, boy pablo - Wachito Rico, Brandon - Coming Clean, Brandy - B7, Bree Runway - 2000AND4EVA [Mixtape], Brent Faiyaz - Fuck The World, Bryson Tiller - A N N I V E R S A R Y, Bryson Tiller - T R A P S O U L (Deluxe), Buddy & Kent Jamz - Janktape Vol. 1, Buju Banton - Upside Down 2020, Busta Rhymes - Extinction Level Event 2: The Wrath of God, Burna Boy - Twice As Tall Cam’ron - Purple Haze 2, Cassian - Laps, Caribou - Suddenly, Carly Rae Jepsen - Dedicated Side B, Car Seat Headrest - Making a Door Less Open, Chelsea Cutler - How To Be Human, Chloe x Halle - Ungodly Hour, Circa Waves - Sad Happy, Clap! Clap! - Liquid Portraits, Cleo Sol - Rose in the Dark, clipping. - Visions of Bodies Being Burned, Common - The Beautiful Revolution (Pt. 1), Com Truise - In Decay, Too, Conway the Machine - From King To A GOD, CRi - Juvenile, Cults - Host, Cut Copy - Freeze, Melt D Smoke - Bad Habits, DaBaby - BLAME IT ON BABY, DaBaby - My Brother’s Keeper (Long Live G), Daecolm - Figur£$, Dan Deacon - Mystic Familiar, Dave East - Karma 3 [Mixtape], Declan McKenna - Zeros, Dee-1 & Murs - He’s the Christian, I’m the Rapper, Dehd - Flower of Devotion, Delacey - Black Coffee, Delta Heavy - Only in Dreams (Remixes), Denzel Curry - UNLOCKED [Mixtape], Destroyer - How We Met, Diana Gordon - Wasted Youth, Diplo - Diplo Presents Thomas Wesley Chapter 1: Snake Oil, Diplo - MMXX, Dirty Projectors - 5EPs, dj poolboi - it’s good to hear your voice, DJ Snake - Carte Blanche (Deluxe), Drake - Dark Lane Demo Tapes, DRAMA - Dance Without Me, Dreamville - Revenge of the Dreamers III Echosmith - Lonely Generation, EDEN - no future, Ekali - A World Away, Ela Minus - acts of rebellion, ELIO - u and me, but mostly me, Ella Vos - Turbulence, Ellie Goulding - Brightest Blue, E.M.M.A. - Indigo Dream, Eric Bellinger - Eric B For President: Term 3, Eric Bellinger - Hor D’oeuvres, Ethan Gruska - En Garde, Everything Everything - RE-ANIMATOR, Everything Is Recorded - FRIDAY FOREVER, Example - Some Nights Last For Days Fana Hues - Hues, Felt (Murs & Slug) - Felt 4 U, FINNEAS - Blood Harmony (Deluxe), Fiona Apple - Fetch The Bolt Cutters, The Flaming Lips - American Head, Fleet Foxes - Shore, flora cash - Baby, It’s Okay, Four Tet - Sixteen Oceans, Freddie Gibbs & The Alchemist - Alfredo, Free Nationals - Free Nationals, Future Islands - As Long As You Are, Future Utopia - 12 Questions Gabrielle Aplin - Dear Happy, Galantis - Church, PG-Eazy - Everything’s Strange Here, Gengahr - Sanctuary, Gil Scott-Heron & Makaya McCraven - We’re New Again: A Reimagine by Makaya McCraven, Glass Animals - Dreamland, Good Sad Happy Bad - Shade, Gorillaz - Song Machinem Season One: Strange Timez, GRACEY - The Art Of Closure, grandson - Death Of An Optimist, Gregory Porter - All Rise, GRiZ - Chasing The Golden Hour Pt. 3 [Mixtape], Grouplove - The Healer, GUM - Out In The World, Gus Dapperton - Orca, Guy Sebastian - T.R.U.T.H. Half Waif - The Caretaker, Haiku Hands - Haiku Hands, Hannah Georgas - All That Emotion, HAWA - the ONE, Hayley Williams - Petals for Armor, Henry Hall - Neato, Hinds - The Prettiest Curse, HMLTD - West of Eden, Hudson Mohawke - Airborne Lard, Hudson Mohawke - B.B.H.E., Hudson Mohawke - Poom Gems, Hurts - Faith Icarus - Unfold, Isaia Huron - Libbie J Balvin - Colores, Jacob Latimore - C3, Jacob Latimore - Leo Season, Jack Harlow - Thats What They All Say, Jadakiss - Ignatius, Jade Novah - Stages, Jason Isbell and the 400 Unit - Reunions, Jay Electronica - A Written Testimony, Jean Dawson - Pixel Bath, Jeezy - The Recession 2, Jeff Tweedy - Love Is The King, Jeremy Zucker - love is not dying, Jess Cornelius - Distance, Jessie Reyez - BEFORE LOVE CAME TO KILL US, Jhené Aiko - Chilombo, John Legend - Bigger Love, JoJo - good to know, J Lloyd - Kosmos, Jonah Yano - souvenir, Joyner Lucas - ADHD, JOYRYDE - Brave, Juice WRLD - Legends Never Die, Juicy J - THE HUSTLE CONTINUES, Junglepussy - JP4, Justin Bieber - Changes, Justine Skye - BARE WITH ME (The Album) Kaash Paige - Teenage Forever, Kacy Hill - Just Circling Back Here: Is It Selfish If I Talk About Me Again (Remixes), Kali Uchis - Sin Miedo (del Amor y Otris Demonios)∞, Kamaiyah - Got It Made, Katie Day - Mydata, Katie Gately - Loom, Katy Perry - Smile, K CAMP - Kiss 5, Keaton Henson - Monument, Kehlani - It Was Good Until It Wasn’t, Kevin Morby - Sundowner, Khushi - Strange Seasons, Khruangbin - Mordechai, Kiana Ledé - KIKI, Kid Cudi - Man On The Moon III: The Chosen, Kid Krow - Conan Gray, Kiesza - Crave, Kiiara - lil kiiwi, King Princess - Cheap Queen (Deluxe), Kllo - Maybe We Could, KLOUD - AUTONOMY, K. Michelle - All Monsters Are Human, Knxwledge - 1998, Kodaline - One Day at a Time, Kygo - Golden Hour, KYLE - See You When I am Famous!!!!!!!!!!!!, Kylie Minogue - DISCO Lane 8 - Brightest Lights, LANY - mama’s boy, LA Priest - GENE, La Roux - Supervision, Last Heroes - Finding Light, Laura Marling - Song For Our Daughter, Laura Veirs - My Echo, Lauv - ~how i’m feeling~, Lecrae - Restoration, Lewis Del Mar - AUGUST, Lianne La Havas - Lianne La Havas, Lil Wayne - Funeral, Little Dragon - New Me, Same Us, Little Mix - Confetti, LL Cool J - Authentic, Logic - No Pressure, Long Beach Dub Allstars - Long Beach Dub Allstars, Lonr. - Land of Nothing Real, Louis Tomlinson - Walls, Loyal Lobos - Everlasting, Lucas & Steve - Letters to Remember, Luh Kel - L.O.V.E., Lucky Daye - Painted (Deluxe Edition), Luke James - to feel love/d Mac Miller - Circles, MAITA - Best Wishes, Major Lazer - Music Is The Weapon, Mala Rodriguez - MALA, Margo Price - That’s How Rumors Get Started, Marsh - Lailonie, Marsh - Lost in You, MAX - Colour Vision, Maya Hawke - Blush, Mayor Hawthorne - Rare Changes, Medasin - RIPPLS, Megan Thee Stallion - Good News, Megan Thee Stallion - Suga, Midwife - Forever, The Midnight - Monsters, Mija - Desert Trash, Miley Cyrus - Plastic Hearts, MisterWives - SUPERBLOOM, Mitch - Better For You, Moaning - Uneasy Laughter, Moses Sumner - græ, The Mountain Goats - Getting Into Knives, Mourning [A] BLKstar - The Cycle, Mura Masa - R.Y.C., mxmtoon - dawn/dusk Nada Surf - Never Not Together, Naeem - Startisha, Nap Eyes - Snapshot of a Beginner, Nappy Roots - 40RTY, Nas - King’s Disease, Nathaniel Rateliff - And It’s Still Alright, The Neighbourhood - Chip Chrome & The Mono-Tones, Neon Trees - I Can Feel You Forgetting, Netsky - Second Nature, NIKI - Moonchild, NNAMDÏ - BRAT, No Mana - Secret Level, Norah Jones - Pick Me Up off the Floor, Nothing - The Great Dismal, Nothing But Thieves - Moral Panic Ohmme - Fantasize Your Ghost, Oh Wonder - No One Else Can Wear The Crown, Okay Kaya - Watch This Liquid Pour Itself, Omar Apollo - Apolonio, Omarion - The Kinection, Omar S - You Want, Open Mike Eagle - Anime, Trauma and Divorce, Orion Sun - Hold Space For Me, The Overcoats - The Fight PARTYNEXTDOOR - PARTYMOBILE, PARTYNEXTDOOR - PARTYPACK, Passenger - Patchwork, Perfume Genius - Set My Heart on Fire Immediately, Petit Biscuit - Parachute, Pet Shop Boys - Hotspot, Phoebe Bridgers - Punisher, Photay - Waking Hours, Pictish Trail - Thumb World, POLIÇA - When We Stay Alive, Popcaan - FIXTAPE, Poppy - I Disagree, Pop Smoke - Shoot for the Stars Aim for the Moon, Poolside - Low Season, Porches - Ricky Music, Post Animal - Forward Motion Godyssey, The Professionals (Madlib & Oh No) - The Professionals, Princess Nokia - Everything Is Beautiful, Princess Nokia - Everything Sucks, Public Enemy - What You Gonna Do When The Grid Goes Down?, Pure X - Pure X Quinn XCII - A Letter to My Younger Self, Queen Naija - missunderstood RAC - BOY, Ratboys - Printer’s Devil, Real Estate - The Main Thing, REASON - New Beginnings, Recondite - Dwell, Rhys Lewis - Things I Chose to Remember, Rina Sawayama - SAWAYAMA, Riz Ahmed - The Long Goodbye, RJD2 - The Fun Ones, Ro James - MANTIC, Royce da 5’9” - The Allegory, Russ - SHAKE THE SNOW GLOBE, Ryan Beatty - Dreaming of David Sad13 - Haunting Painting, SAINt JHN - While The World Was Burning [Mixtape], Sam Lee - Oh Wow, Sam Smith - Love Goes, San Fermin - The Cormorant I & II, Sasha Sloan - Only Child, SAULT - Untitled (Black Is), SAULT - Untitled (Rise), Savannah Ré - Opia, SAYGRACE - The Defining Moments of SAYGRACE: Girlhood, Fuckboys & Situationlists, Sea Wolf - Through A Dark Wood, Selena Gomez - Rare, Sérgio Mendez - In the Key of Joy, Sevdaliza - Shabrang, S.G. Goodman - Old Time Feeling, Shabazz Palaces - The Don of Diamond Dreams, Shamir - Shamir, Shoffy - Flash, Shopping - All or Nothing, Sleepy Hallow - Sleepy Hallow Presents: Sleepy For President, Slowly Slowly - Race Car Blues, Smashing Pumpkins - CYR, Smino - She Already Decided [Mixtape], Special Interest - The Passion Of, Soccer Mommy - Color Theory, Social Club Misfits - Feared by Hell, Songhoy Blues - Optimisme, Son Little - Aloha, Sorry - 925, Spacey Jane - Sunlight, Spencer Brown - Stream of Consciousness, Steve Aoki - Neon Future IV, Steve Spacek - House, Stormzy - Heavy Is The Head, STRFKR - Future Past Life, Sturgill Simpson - Cuttin’ Grass Vol. 1 (Butcher Shoppe Sessions), Sturgill SImpson - Cuttin’ Grass, Vol. 2 (Cowboy Arms Sessions), Sub Focus & Wilkinson - Portals, $uicideboy$ - Stop Staring at the Shadows, Surfaces - Horizons, Sweaton Klank - Good Days, Sweet Whirl - How Much Works, Swing Ting - 100 Dances, Symba - Don’t Run From R.A.P. TeaMarr - Before I Spill Myself, Tech N9ne - Enterfear, Tennis - Swimmer, Teno Afrika - Amapiano Selections, Terrace Martin, Robert Glasper, 9th Wonder & Kamasi Washington - Dinner Party, Terrace Martin, Robert Glasper, 9th Wonder & Kamasi Washington - Dinner Party: Dessert, Teyana Taylor - The Album, T.I. - The L.I.B.R.A., Tiana Major9 - Back At Sixes And Sevens, Tiësto - The London Sessions, Tink - Hopeless Romantic, Thao & The Get Down Stay Down - Temple, The-Dream - SXTPA, Theophilus London - Bebay, THEY. - The Amanda Tape, Thundercat - It Is What It Is, Thunder Jackson - Thunder Jackson, Tkay Maidza - Last Year Was Weird, Vol. 2, TOKiMONSTA - Oasis Nocturno, Tom Misch & Yussef Dayes - What Kinda Music,Toni Braxton - Spell My Name, TOPS - I Feel Alive, TORRES - Silver Tongue, Tory Lanez - The New Toronto 3, Trey Songz - Back Home, T.R.U. & 2 Chainz - No Face No Chase, Two Feet - Pink, Tycho - Simulcast, Ty Dolla $ign - Featuring Ty Dolla $ign Various Artists - Bad Boys For Life Soundtrack, Various Artists - Birds is Pray: The Album, Various Artists - Ophelia Presents: Advent Volume 1, Various Artists - Ophelia Presents: Advent Volume 2, Various Artists - Promising Young Woman (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Various Artists - REPRISE: A Roc Nation Album, Various Artists - Sable Valley Summer Vol. 1, Various Artists - The Turning (Original Motion Picture Soundtrack), Varsity - Fine Forever, Vic Mensa - V TAPE, Victoria Monét - JAGUAR, Vistas - Everything Changes in the End, Vundabar - Either Light, Vybz Kartel - To Tanesha Washed Out - Purple Noon, Waxahatchee - Saint Cloud, Whitney - Candid, William Black - Pages (The Remixes), WizKid - Made In Lagos, Wiz Khalifa - The Saga of Wiz Khalifa, Wolf Parade - Thin Mind Xavier Omär - if You Feel Yaeji - WHAT WE DREW 우리가 그려왔던, Yellow Claw - Never Dies, Yellow Days - A Day in a Yellow Beat, YG - My Life 5Hunnid, Yo Gotti - Untrapped, Youngr - Memories, Yumi Zouma - Truth or Consequences, Yves Tumor - Heaven To a Tortured Mind Zeds Dead - We Are Deadbeats (Vol. 4), Zeds Dead - We Are Deadbeats (Vol. 4 Deluxe) 070 Shake - Modus Vivendi, The 1975 - Notes On A Conditional Form, 2 Chainz - So Help Me God!, 5 Seconds of Summer - CALM

Meh: ARTHUR - Hair of the Dog, The Black Lips - Sing in a World That’s Falling Apart, Bring Me The Horizon - POST HUMAN: SURVIVAL HORROR, Bruno Major - To Let A Good Thing Die, Cuddle Magic - Bath, Don Toliver - Heaven Or Hell, Eminem - Music To Be Murdered By, Foogiano - Gutta Baby, Frances Quinlan - Likewise, French Montana - CB5, Future - High On Life, Future & Lil Uzi Vert - Pluto x Baby Pluto, iann dior - I’m Gone, Ichiko Aoba - Windswept Adan, IDLES - Ultra Mono, Jacob Collier - Djesse, Vol. 3, Jason Mraz - Look For The Good, Jaunt - All In One, Jaye Jayle - Prisyn, Lil Baby - My Turn, Lil Uzi Vert - Eternal Atake, Lil Uzi Vert - LUV vs. The World 2, Machine Gun Kelly - Tickets To My Downfall, Masiwei & Higher Brothers - Prince Charming, MHYSA - Navaeh, Nicolas Jaar - Cenizas, RARE Sound & K Camp - Rare Family, Rich The Kid - BOSS MAN, Rich The Kid & YoungBoy Never Broke Again - Nobody Safe, Rico Nasty - Nightmare Vacation, Social Club Misfits - MOOD // DOOM, WHIPPED CREAM - WHO IS WHIPPED CREAM?

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inessencedevided · 5 years ago

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The Untamed, episode 14 - watching notes

Little note on the last ep: I love how everyone finds wwx in his inner robe absolutely 🔥🔥🔥 I mean, I agree! but it's just one less layer! It's still covering his entire body! 😂 but still, it's somehow the hottest shit any of us have ever seen :D

So, off to ep 14 *bangs head to opening melody*

He put the headband back on because he fears that lwj is nervous without it 🥺🥺🥺

How can they be so soft with each other???

And lwj's almost-smile :')

Can't write much about the arrow picking except that I honestly love how this scene is shot. The lightening, the music, the sound of them working. It all works brilliantly to build up the tension

Wait? Was that weird lightening that lwj shot into wwx head something to let them communicate by thought? The potential! 😲 My mind immediately went to thought-sharing-smut fix but then I remembered that there might even be hope for that in canon!! 😱 (or at least, some version of canon)

That's vaguely disgusting (The inside of the shell, I mean)

I'm surprised the turtle doesn't notice that there is someone walking around inside her shell

So wait ... what? There is a sword there which traps the turtle. Meaning, someone has been there before and maybe purposefully trapped it there, meaning this whole excursion was completely unnecessary. They could have just left it there and it would never have bothered anyone outside that cave. Then again, Wen chao doesn't strik me as someone to think such things through ...

Quickly, Wei Wuxian! Stab the diary with its tooth! ... wait, wrong fandom

Maybe it's not though ... there's very horcrux-like black goo coming out of the sword 😳

Tf is happening to wwx? He's hurting 🥺

Now he's... not. And he's somehow controlling the black mist and the swords ... I'm confused. Is this where the "demonic cultivation" comes in

Worried lwj is my new favourite thing on this show

Why is there random fighting in the throne room of the wen sect???

Wwx looks mildly traumatised :(

Oh wow ... I'm continuously in awe of the music choices. During this talk, you can hear the main theme (wangxian's theme, I think) in the background. But for the first time, it's played on deep, melancholic cellos. That alone gave me chills! Just, endless kudos to whoever was in charge of the soundtrack for this show!

Apparently, worried lwj is also wwx's favourite thing :')

Seriously wwx!!! He is helping you and NOW you decide to throw the "boring" back at him??

Are these two idiots allergic against genuine, heartfelt moments???

Oh god, no I take it back immediately!!!!

"Can you sing a song for me?" 😭

Hughn ... you don't understand!

There's NO trope I love more than one part of a couple singing to the other (maybe it's because that's how I like to show love. Sorry, tmi)

I'm weak guys ... 😭😭😭

He's doing it .... OMG HE'S DOING IT! and his voice is so nice and deep and ...

Okay ...line break ... I'm actually crying. I legitimately have tears running down my face

I just watched this sequence three times and I couldn't type while I watched because I COULDN'T MISS THIS!

Also I'm crying. It was hard to see anything

Just ...

...

THEY DID THAT

They did a straight up compilation of their love so far

And the song! THE SONG!! THE SONG!!!

I had suspected so before, but it's actually their love theme

And ... hugh ... lan wangji sang it ... for wei Wuxian

Apart from how f*cking meta that is, that's just... the most romantic thing you can do for mesomeone (have I mentioned that I'm weak for this ...)

And and and the compilation ...

They really know how to play a fandom, right? Like, they know

I'm speechless...

Just the fact that they do this and then they have to pretend that nope, this is completely straight, nothing to see here is absolutely bewildering to me

Hugh ... I need to calm down... I'll watch it a third time

The lantern scene was there, tooooooo!!! 😭😭😭

No, no I'm concentrating again

"What's the name of the song?" What's the name??? What is it?

(If you know, please don't tell me! I just ask these questions to get my feelings out, not because I genuinely want to know spoilers ;))

They got out. I'm almost sad. With how things were going, a few hours more in that cave and they probably would have straight up cuddled :D

Jiang Cheng allows himself to show 1, ONE second of genuin concern for his brother, before he starts acting all tough again 🤦‍♀️ *sigh*

Noooo, why did lan wanji leave??? :(

Okay, that's a good reason

Yay! They finally decided to do something about the Wen clan :D

God I love Lotus Cove :)

Again, this reminds me so much of lotr and particularly the elves. The way the camera pulled from a light background to wwx, just waking up in bed after being injured ... the only thing missing was Elrond's head floating above him :D

Woahwoahwoah, hold a second. I had to go back and pause ... is that two men kissing on the bed frame??? Is this the show's way of telling us "yes they kissed, no we couldn't show you. Here, have some heavy-handed subtext so you won't miss it"

It's senior sister :,)

And even Jiang Cheng is caring eith him, bringing him soup ... I have feelings!

And now the whole family is here *sniff*

Okay ... f*ck. I see. Jiang Cheng did so mich, wwx even tries to pull attention to it and their father/uncle still only pays attention to wwx :/

Argh, I forgot that there's still one more member to this family 🤦‍♀️

Oh f*ck her!

Just ... ugh ... that's all I'm saying about that

wwx and jiang Cheng! 😭 - they're both such emotionally constipated idiots (especially jc), but this heart to heart felt so real, you know? Like it could happen between any two brothers in their situation :')

And honestly, it's so tragic. Both of them are definitely NOT at fault for their situation, yet it always hangs over their relationship. I hate it when,in a story, the parents' baggage is transferred to their children, mostly because that's sadly how it goes most of the time

Episode finished... Going back to the song part, so I feel good again :D

These past two episodes where ... hagh ... heaven for my hurt/comfort-loving heart 🥰

And in general, I think, this one was my favourite so far!

@sweetlittlevampire @fandom-glazed @elenirlachlagos @allhailthedramallama @luckymoony (please excuse my typos, btw. I'm sure there are many) 😅

#sophie watches the untamed #the untamed #the untamed episode 14 #lan wanji #lwj #wei wuxain #wwx #wangxian #jiang cheng

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tartxglia · 5 years ago

Text

Ethereal // Bang Chan

Pairing: Chan x Reader

Genre: Smut

Requested: No

Words: 2,905

Warnings: Smut, oral (male receiving)

Stray Kids Surprise Live!

찬이의 “방” 🐺 Ep. 25

The notification that buzzed your phone catches your eye and you raise an eyebrow as you click it open. The app loads up to a close-up of Chan who stands directly in front of the camera, his chest and biceps covering the whole screen as he shows off his Stray Kids tank top. Fuck, his biceps. You could see the natural curve of his muscles, and the way they moved as he flexed. The pixelated screen could only do so much justice to the real thing but even so it was enough make your breath hitch. You’d seen it yourself many times, Chan slept shirtless after all, but perhaps you’d never get used to it.

"Pineapple juice, one of my favourite juices!"

Woah, you’re sure he meant that in a completely normal way–just like how your favourite juice is mango–but your mind is quick to wander and fill your head with some other rumours surrounding pineapple juice. You push the thought aside for now and instead continued watching the live as he now went on a whole lecture about the cleansing properties of pineapple juice.

“Pineapple juice, you know what I mean.”

This time, you can’t help the snort as you register his words. Oh you definitely did know what he meant. A small voice at the back of your head wondered whether Chan was feeling sexually frustrated in the studio before he started this live, but if he were he would’ve texted you. Either way, you were sure some STAYs were going to have a field day over this clip. But it doesn't take long before your suspicion stopped seeming so silly because now the guy was talking about–

“Peaches…” Chan’s overdramatic ass lets out a wistful sigh as he things about peaches, probably craving for the juicy fruit. Then he brings up his hands in a grabbing motion, as if he was holding peaches in them. You being the dirty minded person you were, of course you had long-since linked “peach” with its urban synonym “ass.” Now, his hand grabbing motion left little to imagination as you recalled all the times Chan had you straddled on his lap, the two of you deep in a make-out session and his large hands kneading you ass, pushing your hips to grind into his. A few seconds later and the lick of his lips signs your death warrant as a strong feeling washes over you. Fuck, the power Chan had over you should be illegal.

“I don’t know if you guys realised, but I have a really thick vein here.” Chan points to his temple, bending close to the camera as he tries to showcase how “vascular” he was. You swear this man had a vein kink. Every so often, perhaps as the two of you sat on the couch watching TV or during the sleepy haze of early mornings, you ran you hands up and down his arm tracing his veins. Chan would always find it amusing, looking down at you fondly or softly rubbing his thumb across your arm as you trailed up and down his veins, sometimes pressing down on the protruding vessel.

But soft was the farthest description of how you were feeling. Bang Chan? Looking this good? Talking about pineapple juice, peaches, and now a vein kink? God had left the chatroom a long while ago and now you were left in an uncomfortable situation; you wanted to head over to the studio since Chan was obviously sexually frustrated and now so were you, but he was still in the middle of his vlive. With a deep sigh and an exaggerated groan, you sink further into the couch of Stray Kid’s dorm. Chan was only a few minute walk from here but you had to wait it out; so close yet so far.

You decided to spend the rest of your time waiting it out, getting yourself comfortable on the large leather couch as you watched Chan talk about his DIY Stray Kids tank top, bop along to a few of the new Stray Kids tracks, and give a few anecdotes and inspirational words. God he looked so pretty it was unfair. His hair was swept to fall over his forehead in the most perfect way, his eyebrows powerfully coloured and his eye make-up on point. To top it all off, he’d discuss about the music he made and the Lord knows you always found it hot when he talked technical or passionately.

Twenty minutes later and you were just about at your limit. This had to be classified as torture–for you at least–and as much of a masochist you tended to be in bed, everybody had their limits. You nibble on your bottom lip in thought as a thought crosses your head and you wonder if you should go forward with it. You didn’t know how Chan might react but to hell with it. You swipe away from the vlive, the live video minimising to a pop-up hover video as you navigate over to your messaging app.

If you can wrap it up in the next 10 minutes I’ll be omw to the studio and suck you off.

Your finger hesitates for a millisecond over the send button but in the end, it gets delivered anyway. Your eyes move back to the mini live video hovering over the messaging app and you wait as the text you sent gets delivered. You watch as Chan pauses between sentences for a moment, his attention briefly drawn to something else. Simultaneously, the delivered tick mark turns blue signifying that he had read it and your heart speeds up a bit in anticipation. Soon after, Chan announces the next song to be the last and you can’t help but let a cocky smirk grow on your face.

“I feel like I’m gonna have to go a bit early but um…”

And with that being said, you collected your essentials from Chan’s bedside table, put on a thin outerwear and were out the door off towards the JYP building.

“Uhm…Thank you STAYs, thank you babystays! And I’ll see you guys tomorrow! Bye bye~"

You have your earphones plugged into your phone as you watch Chan bid his farewell on vlive just as you entered the JYP building. The building is lit up just enough for the hallways in front to be visible and you weren’t surprised–it was around midnight and long past regular working hours. When you finally reached Chan’s favourite studio, you first peaked in through the glass pane to find Chan’s side profile as he focused on the large monitor that his laptop was connected to. You tug the thick heavy door open then slip through, the sound letting Chan know of your arrival.

“You couldn’t have been more subtle?” Theres a swing to your hips as you approach Chan with eyebrows raised. You drop your sling bag down onto the closest single leather chair before making your way towards Chan who had swivelled his chair to face you. “STAY are gonna go insane with all the innuendos you made this live.

“Hmmm,” Chan hums as he grabs you who now stands right at the edge of his wheeled-chair. His arms naturally wrap around your waist and rest on your hip as he gazes up at you. “It got you here, didn’t it?” The words are softly spoken and his voice is husky, pulling you closer to him.

“Well, I can’t have your fans thinking you’re some kind of horny sex-deprived man.”

A throaty chuckle escapes from Chan and you see the lust swim in his darkened eyes, “We definitely can’t have that.” In a flash, his one of his hands drops from your waist to your knee. He tugs the back of your knee, bending your leg as he pulls you down to have you straddled on top of him. His other hand climbs up to the side of your neck, guiding your head closer to lock lips with you.

The first touch is gentle, his lips just barely brushing against yours, but it seems to spark a flame in him. His hand cradles your head, his fingers buried in your hair from the side of your neck and his thumb caressing your cheeks as he pushes the two of you closer. The kiss is a lot more heated and continues to grow intense, the flame in the pit of your stomach burning stronger and stronger. Chan sucks on your lip, pulling it into his mouth to toy with it as he nibbles on your lip with his teeth, only to later softly caress it with his tongue.

You return the kiss with just as much passion, settling yourself comfortably on his lap like second nature and running your fingers through his bleached hair. A sharp tug of his hair has Chan groaning into your mouth–he always loved it when you tugged his hair–and you eat it all up, opening your mouth wider. Your tongue reaches out, slipping into Chan's hot mouth and the two of you get carried away sucking, grazing, dancing. A particularly rough grinding of your hips has Chan pulling away from you, all clammy and panting from the make-out session you just had. This sight in front of you is beautiful and you'd never get used to it.

"You gonna live up to your promise, babygirl?" He groans, leaning forward into your neck which makes the latter half of his sentence muffled. As soon as he's done speaking, his mouth attaches onto the skin of your neck in a wet, open mouthed kiss–the first of many.

You throw your head back, giving Chan more access to the rest of your neck. "Of course," your voice is just a whisper, barely able to function considering the trail of hickeys Chan is placing up and down your neck. You let him have his fun for a while, marking you as his with no regard for how hard it would be for you to hide the marks later. Just as you had previously enjoyed the groans from Chan whenever you tugged on his hair, now he was basking in the melodic sounds of your moans bouncing off the soundproof studio walls.

A little while later, you place a hand on Chan's shoulder and gently push him away, his mouth detaching from your neck with a shlick sound. He stares up at you with a dark gaze, his eyes hooded in a lustful haze and you look down at him, committing the sight in front of you to memory. A notification sound from his laptop behind you snaps him out of it, his eyes drifting behind you to the large monitor. His eyes skim the notification before checking the time.

"Fuck, it's 2AM already?" One of his arms remains looped around your waist as he runs the other through his hair in frustration. "I need to finish the melody done for this song tonight."

Before the poor guy in front of you can spiral into a hole of panic and worry, you cup his face and pull his focus back to you. You can see the tension on his forehead, his eyebrows tauntly brought together due to the stress of the situation and you smooth your fingers over them.

"Hey, it's okay. You'll get it done, don't worry about it." Your hand moves from his eyebrows to delicately brush stray hair's away from his eyes and you can practically feel him slump as he attempts to internalize your words. You grip his chin, tilting his face up a little more as you gaze down at him. "You just do your work, and I'll help you de-stress."

You watch as Chan thinks over your words, the expression on his face transitioning from confused to realization to excited in a second. A sly smirk grows on his face and you smile back at him in response, getting off his lap to kneel down between his spread legs all while holding eye-contact with him.

Just the sight of you on your knees has him riled up and he releases a guttural groan while you shuffle back under the desk. Your hands move to the legs of the chair and you pull it towards you, towards the desk so Chan can continue working. But you leave a bit of space too because you want to watch Chan crumble because of your mouth–an otherwise rare opportunity.

The sound of mouse clicks let's you know that Chan is working again–or at least trying to–and you take that as a sign to get started. You slowly drag your hands up his thighs, taking the time to caress his strong thigh muscles and raking your nail up and down. The feeling sends shives down Chan's spine and he automatically flexes his thighs, giving you more to admire.

When your hands finally reach the one place Chan had been wishing for you to touch, it's only soft caresses and brushes. The frustration builds until you hear Chan growl your name from above the table in warning, "Y/N." And that's all it takes for you to obey.

Your fingers are quick to unbutton and loosen his pants, having done it countless times before. You dip your hand into his boxers and finally pull his length out. The sight instantly has your mouth watering; it's the perfect length, having reached unimaginable depths inside you, and his girth gave you just the right amount of stretch. His dick stood painfully upright, the veins decorating it thick and bulging, and you realized that no wonder the guy was sexually frustrated. Chan had an insane sex drive–you should know–and with comeback promotions keeping him busy, the two of you hadn't had much time together.

Not to keep him waiting any longer, you lean forward and give the tip of his cock a lick, getting a taste of the pre-cum oozing out. "You can do better than that, Kitten." Chan's words are half-encouraging and half-snarky but you submit to his demands, slipping his cock slowly into your mouth.

The feeling of your hot mouth swallowing down on his cock has Chan's eyes rolling back in pleasure, his head thrown back on the back of his chair. The sound of mouse clicking and keys pressing pauses for a moment as Chan relishes in being balls-deep inside your mouth.

"Shit, babygirl," you can hear the breathiness in his voice and you feel pride in knowing you have such an effect on him. With added motivation, you quicken the pace and now you're bobbing your head up and down Chan's cock. His girth stretches your mouth wide open but it makes sucking him easier and so you do just that. You suck, hallowing your walls around the length of his cock and you're awarded with a delicious growl. "You're doing good, baby, you take me so well."

One of Chan's hand slips under the desk, caressing your hair and taking control over the pace at which you bobbed on his length. With one hand controlling you and the other working in the music software in front of him, all you can do is keep your jaw open as this man uses your mouth for his pleasure.

Sometimes he sets a hard and fast pace, pushing your head up and down to ruthlessly fuck into your mouth. Othertimes he lazily pulls and pushes your hair, letting himself completely feel the way your mouth hugs onto his cock. And from time to time, he would push your head down only to keep it there, your nose buried in the destination if his happy trail as he has you deepthroat him. You moan on his cock, swallowing around the head and also gagging but it all only serves to make Chan more turned on than he already is.

After playing around with you and your mouth for what seemed like forever, he finally let's go of the vice grips he had on your hair. His hand goes back up to his computer as he pressed keys here and there, playing around with the melody.

"Finish me off, babygirl."

You don't dare to disobey his orders, placing your hand on his thigh as you guided his cock back into your warm cavern. You set a fast pace, slathering your saliva up and down his whole cock, sucking the head, sucking his whole cock into your mouth, humming as you deepthroated him. With the way you worshipped his cock in the final moments, it didn't take long for Chan to finally cum.

You had licked up his veins, sucked the head of his dick, and finally bobbing back down to take his whole cock into your mouth when he exploded. As expected from a high sex-drive man, his cock squirted ropes and ropes of thick white cum into your mouth–and briefly you wanted it to be inside you, breeding you. You swallowed most of it but also let a few drops slide out of your mouth, hanging out the side of your mouth.

Chan looks down to see the sight, you with some of his cum dripping down your chin after having just worshipped his cock. Your hair a whole mess from when he had grabbed onto it and used it to fuck into your mouth. He thought you'd never looked more beautiful, more ethereal.

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