#felt sick. it came to me at work and iwas like . sniffle. ;__;
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cloneslugs · 3 months ago
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got so emotional thinking of Suki actually looking his age/what would be his "older" (current) design .
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kalinawtokilig · 4 years ago
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When you can’t reach your parent(s’) expectations
Have you ever still feel not good enough to those who expect greatness and extraordinary accomplishments from you? It hurts the most when it’s your parents. 
But don’t worry, they’re here to help you up
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Pair(s) : Akaashi Keiji x Reader, Sugawara Koushi x Reader, Oikawa Tooru x Reader
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Akaashi Keiji x Reader 
When he sees you at his front door in the pouring rain, he ushers you to come in
He lets you borrow his clothes as he uses a towel to dry your hair
Akaashi would lecture you on why you shouldn’t walk in the rain without an umbrella, since you can get sick and then your parent will get mad at you
Having said that, you sighed deeply
Raising a brow, he thought of you to be tired from walking to your home to his house
“Want to watch that anime that you were telling me about?” 
You look away and shook your head 
“Mm, do you want to eat?”
You shake your head again
“What do you want to do then, hon?” 
You look up to him. Akaashi is so patient with you, and he knows when you’re at your best and he recognizes your hardworking posture and daze when all of those all nighters of studying and on the bridge of nervous breakdowns were so worth it that he congratulates you for everything you accomplished for
Why can’t your parent do the same?
Your boyfriend stares back you, worried creeping up as your brows furrowed and eyes became glossy 
He lays a hand on your cheek, palm soft and caring, warmth on your cold cheek envelopes when he cups it gently
“Do you want to stay on my bed and sleep?”
Yes. You need sleep. You desperately need it. 
On his bed, he pulls the covers up, making sure not a trace of your limbs or skin is exposed (Not like its ever cold in Akaashi’s house,, I feel like its naturally warm in all ways, ya know?) 
He lays on his side, one arm open, welcoming for you to cuddle him if you want 
Shuffling closer, you lay your forehead on his chest, and he hugs you as lovingly as he can 
“I’m proud of you, you know that right?” 
((Stop,, making myself FEEL EW)) 
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Sugawara Koushi x Reader
((Gawd,,, I fuckin pimp the SHIT OUTTA HIM MAH DUDE-))
When Sugawara’s at your place, in your room, he came from practice and was sleeping in your bed ((After he took a shower, mans brought his own clothes,, what a RESPONSIBLE MANN UGHHH)) 
While you were having an argument downstairs with your parent about how you’re not putting enough effort in your studies and putting other priorities above that, you bit your tongue from snapping as they continued on about how ‘You can do better’ or ‘You need to try harder’ and ‘I don’t want you to be a failure’
Lowering your head and nodding blankly at every sentence your parent says, they finish by saying go upstairs and study
“Become great, so I’ll be able to tell my friends how extraordinary you are.” 
Up in your room, you keep re-reading and writing down important key facts into your notebook
‘Do good, be better, become greater’ 
‘Why can’t they see all that I’m doing is for them? Is what I’m doing never enough? When can I ever stop try to appease them? When will I ever try to be enough for myself?’
“Am I not important to even be seen as good enough?” You whispered.
Biting your lip, you gritted your teeth and held onto your pen as tight as you can, trying not to even sniffle to disturb your ever so tired boyfie ((Wake him up,, he’s there and he’s with you whenever babes >:((( Suga-love is always there for you )) 
Sugawara had been awake, he had been awake since he heard your parent yel- raising their voice at you. Turning to look at you and your trembling shoulders, he held what you said that was supposed to be for your ears only, echo a pain in his chest. Seeing you beat yourself up to reach someone’s standards hurts him, and witnessing you not even shed a tear for yourself hurt him even more
Shaking your head, you rubbed your eyes with the sleeve of your sweater and continued to jot down anything that seemed to be of importance
“Sugar?” 
You jump a bit, not looking back you answered, “Yes, Koushi? Do you need anything?” 
“Are you okay?”
You nod silently as your eyes kept trained on the textbook in front of you 
Hearing some quiet shuffling, you froze a bit when you felt Sugawara’s arms hug your waist and his head laying on the crook of your shoulder
“I think you’re pretty great. Even when you don’t feel so, I hope you know that you’re important to me and you can never let me down. I love you, don’t you know that (Y/N)?” 
((IM FUCKING VOMITING OMG I WANT HIMMMMMM ARHGABORBGYAOURGVAORY)) 
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Oikawa Tooru x Reader 
((Ah yes, another I want to pe-))
He knows, the feeling of not being enough and working hard to achieve your own expectations and everyone else’s
He knows the worth and hardwork to prove that you can be good enough
You were and are always there when he overworks himself and self-doubts and self-loathing hit hard for him
despite everything, you helped him set up a schedule and helped him time manage his busy schedule, so he’ll be able to feel accomplished of what he did and able to rest even if its for a little bit, then getting great power naps for in-between the days that he decides to push himself harder than usual
Iwaizumi has never been so thankful for your existence and genius mind ((Oh wow, even got my bb praising you huh))
When Oikawa sees you pushing yourself harder than usual, training and trying to balance your studies
He notices that he doesn’t see you often, nor does your friends either
Oikawa-boo now knows the struggle of HIMSELF
Is this what you and Iwa-chan go through? Endless worrying and less cuddles ?? (As if Iwa cuddles him,,, Oikawa has proof, so do Makki and Mattsun)) 
When he finally catches up to you, you look at him, slightly pale and shaking a bit from how much coffee and energy drinks you’ve consumed
“Babe, I haven’t been seeing you for a while, are you doing okay?” 
You were immensely drained, even talking had been an effort, but Oikawa was your beloved boyfie
“Mhm.” 
Oikawa frowns. “Have you been getting enough rest?”
“Mhm.”
“Did you eat lunch? Your friends say they haven’t seen you at their table.”
“Mm-mm.” 
He cups your cheeks, brow furrowed and brown eyes filled with concern, “My lil-cutie, what’s going on?” He asked in the softest voice he can possibly muster. ((Possibly? Pretty setter squads are fuckin SMOOTH bitches to have soft voices. Yes, including Shirabu AND Kageyama. And Koganegawa. My HC, can’t change my mind, I take criticism but only if I'm ready to haunt you at 3AM))
“Mmm. Have to prove to my parents that I can be better.  I need to show them that I can be something they can be proud of. I don’t wanna be a disappointment.” Your voice shakes a bit, it could be from the caffeine or the emotions building up when Oikawa asked you so sincerely if you were okay.
“Don’t wanna be an embarrassment either. You don’t deserve that. Wanna be a winner.” You muttered, looking away in shame and guilt that has been haunting you. 
Pulling you into a hug, he laid his hand on your head and the other arm laid across your waist. “Listen to me. You think you can be better if you work yourself to death, that you forget about yourself and focus on reaching other people’s standards. Babe, if anything, you can prove them wrong when you are confident to tell them that what happened before and what’s happening now means that you’ve improved on yourself and your actions will speak for themselves. You can’t prove to them if you decided to forget to care for yourself and those who want to support you.”
Your tension in your body relaxed. He didn’t have practice today, or you would’ve smelled the excessive amount of cologne radiating of his body. Relaxing, your shaking minimized when you petted your hair and hugged you closer. 
“You can never be an embarrassment to me, (Y/N). When you’re working so hard to care so much for others, that’s never an embarrassment. You’ll go so far I don’t know if I’m able to catch up to you.” 
You weakly squeezed his side. 
He chuckles. “We’ll always be winners, (Y/N). I mean, you won my heart, and that’s the greatest feat, yeah?” 
You slapped his butt and he whined like a little bitch.
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atsukashii · 3 years ago
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hii! for your even can i ask for a madeleine x shoto todoroki + she/her + ☀️ + baby blue. thanks!
(btw who’s your bias?)
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take my hands now you are the cause of my euphoria
✘ there is nothing good about being sick... unless you're being doted on by your pro hero boyfriend... then okay, there may be a few good things.
✘ GENRE: fluff
✘ WARNINGS: aged up characters,
✘ WORD COUNT: 1.3k
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There are two things on this planet that you positively despise.
The first; spiders because obviously. And the second?
Getting sick.
It was so impractically frustrating. What made it more annoying was the knowledge that you were almost one hundred percent sure that it was a result of stress. As if your body wasn’t strong enough to handle a major presentation at college, trying to be a good girlfriend, and your deadbeat partner who has left you to do the entire assignment yourself. You’d pulled an all-nighter beforehand, completed the presentation, not held back on giving your partner a big fat zero in the group evaluation at the end for her complete disregard to do literally anything, then caught the bus back to your small apartment, sniffling the whole way home.
And twenty four hours later, here you are. Stuck on the couch after you’d crawled out of bed to get some water, with your sheets trailing you like a pathetic cape. You’d made it to the kitchen, but felt dizzy on your way out, where you took solace on the couch- and made a spot where you’ve stayed for hours.
Sick. God you hated it. You’ve never felt more useless of a human than you do surrounded by toilet paper - because you ran out of tissues - and a pathetic excuse for a snack in the form of a half eaten apple.
But what is the absolute worst part of being sick? Having to ask for help. It wasn’t a strength of yours, especially when it came to asking your boyfriend of just under a year for help. At first, you didn’t want to let him know, but now that you’ve had to cancel the dinner plans that he’d taken the evening off work for, you’re feeling the guilt.
Squinting at the bright light emitting from your phone in your hand, you try to think of a less pathetic response to your boyfriend's message.
[6:55pm] FROM: Shoto Is something wrong? Do you need me to come over?
Is something wrong? Yes you were feeling what the beginnings of death may resemble. Do you need him to come over? Probably, but you can admit that it's more wanting him to come, rather than needing him to.
You’ve been trying to decide what to respond with for the past twenty minutes, and you’re sure that your boyfriend - although normally not one to stress - is probably genuinely concerned by now, so you need to offer something. Your fingers sluggishly move across the screen to try and get a somewhat eloquent response, but you grow distracted with the sound of a key being pushed into the lock of your door. For the moment, you slowly raise your gaze from your phone, peering into the dim hall you can see clearly from your couch, and taking in the figure that steps into the open doorway.
Dressed in long pants, a warm jacket that is a personal favourite of yours and a scarf that you had gifted him for his birthday months ago, Shoto stands in the entrance to your apartment. You know that you resemble the feral cats that dumpster dive around your area, but you can’t bring yourself to care as you try to fathom just how Shoto got to your place. Maybe your indecisiveness of your response had somehow manifested him here.
Your eyes drift from his handsome face down to the bags in his hands. Food? Your stomach rumbles loudly for the first time today as if it was an efficient greeting for him. But really, wrapped up in your blankets like they’re your cocoon, your muscles groan in protest at the thought of getting up. So you just blink at him.
“Madeleine?” His soft voice doesn’t pound your eardrums the same way strangers had your whole trip home yesterday, and you outwardly sigh in relief. Taking that as a symbol of consent to come in, Shoto carefully closes the door behind him, and slips off his shoes before continuing further into your apartment.
“It took you a while to respond, so I thought I would come and see if you’re alright. But I ran into one of your college friends I met from that party on my way here and she told me you were sick.” Shoto explains, raising the plastic bag in his hand in explanation. “So I thought I would grab a couple of things first.” You watch in complete awe as he begins unloading the contents of the paper bags.
Tissues, cough lollies, a new heat pack, fresh tea leaves.
Your eyes glance between the items and his heterochromia eyes, before settling on the serious look on his face. He’s still talking to you, but at this point you can’t make out what he’s saying - just simply incredibly glad that he’s here. His hair is still slightly damp, suggesting that he rushed over when you didn’t reply, even though he is dressed immaculately. Maybe once upon a time, it would have made you feel embarrassed to be seen in your state, but now you didn’t care.
“Is that my hoodie?” Shoto’s words pull your wandering thoughts back to the present, and you instinctively look down at the blue blue hooded sweater that- yeah, that was his. Pinching the material between your fingers, you look back up at your boyfriend and smile for the first time today.
“Hi,” Shoto’s concern melts away into something soft and gentle that is often reserved for you. Tilting his head as he glances at you, Shoto steps forwards into your space, and squats down to your height.
“Hi.” He parrots, placing his hand on your forehead. You practically moan at the new cool temperature change, which only makes him smile more.
“You’re sick.”
“Yeah.” You grumble, blinking sleepily at him, and trying not to lean further into his touch.
“I’m sorry for cancelling our dinner.” Shoto looks at you as if you're actually clinically insane for your words.
“You’re sick love, you don’t need to apologise. Ever. I’m just glad you’re okay.” He hesitates, his eyes keep drifting back to the jumper on your torso. “When did you manage to steal this one?”
“A few weeks ago. You leant it to me by the way, on our way home from seeing your sister. I didn’t steal it.” Your attempt at an excuse goes through one ear and out the other, because Shoto’s not listening to you. The soft smile on his face stretches bigger and bigger at your response.
“I don’t care love, steal all of my clothes if you want.” He whispers, pressing his lips to your forehead before standing up to his full height.
“Don’t tempt me Sho,” you call after him as he grabs the other paper bag and walks into your kitchen. The sound of a pot being placed on your stove and the ticking of the lighting flame fills the apartment before you suddenly see his red and white hair poke back around the doorway.
“I brought over some fresh chicken soup. Think you can eat it?” Eagerly, you nod your head. Your boyfriend was almost as good of a cook as he was a pro hero.
“I also love you in my clothes.” He adds suddenly, and if your cheeks weren’t already flushed from illness, you know you would be sprouting a red face by this point.
“I love you and your clothes,” The compliment being interrupted as you grabbed a tissue and sneezed loudly enough for it to echo throughout your quiet apartment. Shoto just smiles a full blown grin at you, pure mirth glowing in his eyes.
“I love you too, love.” He replies before slipping back into the kitchen. “Give me a while to warm it up. Try and take a nap, I'll wake you up when it's done.” He calls out from inside the kitchen, and you smile to yourself, closing your eyes and leaning your head against the back of the couch.
Maybe being sick wasn’t as bad as you’d previously thought if you got to be doted on by your boyfriend.
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✘ A/N: my bias is 100% kuroo rn because that man is too fine, but also am crying in the club because no one requested iwa or tsumu :’(
©️ 2021 all rights reserved to atsukashii, do not change, edit, translate, or repost any works on any platform.
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jougogo · 4 years ago
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tsukki, iwa, daichi, kuroo, sakusa, akaashi, and shibayam with an s/o who’s afraid of needles getting a flu shot
a/n: wrote this in honor of me getting of me getting my flu shot yesterday and NOT CRYING FOR THE FIRST TIME WOW WE LOVE GROWTH
characters: tsukishima kei, hajime iwaizumi, sawamura daichi, kuroo tetsuro, sakusa kiyoomi, akaashi keiji, shibayama yuuki
tw: mentions of needles
tsukishima
"kei, i don't like needles," you whined
"well, you still have to get them. are you really this weak? i thought you were stronger," he responded nonchalantly
ok that pissed you off
"HMPHH I'LL PROVE IT TO YOU" 
but once you were on the seat with the shiny syringe right in front of you?
all that confidence was g o n e 
"remember, you said you'd prove it to me." he smirked
you gulped and shut your eyes tightly
you could've sworn you felt his hand rest on your thigh as the shot was administered
you don't know what you were expecting, but the sting was only momentary and within a couple seconds, you were finished.
"ouch." you quietly yelped.
"see, you were just being a dramatic. tsk, weakling," he flicked your forehead
nurse looked kinda concerned ngl
but afterwards he'll carry your bags for you and open the doors bc he's proud
"good job, my weakling,"
"tsukki istg"
iwaizumi
iwa knew about your fear of needles
he found out when he noticed you grip the pushpin tightly between your fingers everytime you have to pin sticky notes to the corkboard you had above your desk
so when it was flu shot season, he'll def volunteer to get it done together w you
iwa bby being such a gentlemen gahh i cant
i can see oikawa as someone who was prob also afraid of needles, so iwa knew how to handle situations like this
"iwa-chan but they're pricking my arm and i'm gonna be numb how am i going to practice volley-"
 b o n k 
"get over it brattykawa"
jkjk he'll be so gentle and patient with you
"hey hey it's okay, dont look at the needle. look at me" he turned your face towards his, cupping your cheek to prevent you from seeing the syringe from your peripheral vision
you gazed into his pretty green eyes. 
oh, how they resembled a lush rainforest, full of tropical plants and-
before you could even realize it, the needle jabbed into your tender arm
"ouch," you groaned, leaning your head against his muscled chest.
"see, you did it!" he congratulated you, his lips curving into a small smile as he patted your head
he rolled up the sleevs of his t-shirt to reveal gloriously toned beefy biceps as the nurse administered his flu shot
ok this view is def worth the pain
as expected, he took it like a champ. manz didn't even tense up
afterwards he'll take you out for ice cream hehe
daichi 
when you confessed to daichi about your fear, he was so confused
"but i see you sewing stuff all the time?"
"dai that's different im not sticking the needle in my body bro"
ohhh ok ok now he gets it
he'll be so supportive the entire time!
"hey, i know you'll do great, okay? you're the bravest person i've ever met. you dont think a little thin piece of metal will get to you, do you baby?" he whispered reassuring words into your ear and brushing a stray piece of hair away from your face
when it was time for the nurse to give you the shot, you curled your body towards him ever-so-slightly
but he noticed and he thought it was the cutest thing
"hey, i'll protect you, don't worr-" he was cut off
you were gripped his shirt tightly in your fist and wincing at the pain
"ow ow ow" you mumbled into his shoulders as you felt the sting
"you're doing so good, sweetheart," he ran his hand up and down your back, attempting to sooth you
when it's all finally over he'll drive you over to his place so he can cuddle and "protect" you from the scary movie he very conveniently insisted on playing.
kuroo
"babe, you know you have to get your flu shot. what if you accidentally pass a deadly flu to my grandpa? you'd have to stop coming over to my house,"
your loving boyfriend kuroo was currently trying to get you to release your tight grip from the front door of your house
"i don't want to get your grandpa sick, but i don't want to have a needle poke me," you wailed, tears flowing down your cheek
he got tired and just carried you in his strong arms to the car and drove to the hospital, despite your protests
"THIS IS KIDNAPPING TETSU, YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME," you screamed
he just whistled and rolled down the windows so everyone can hear
ofc, you shut up right then and there
"i'll get you back for this," you hissed
once you got to the hospital, you had no other choice but to oblige to kuroo as he dragged you through the halls to the vaccination rooms
the nurse was kind, but your heart was pounding
"te-tetsu, will you hold my hand" you whimpered when the nurse went to retrieve the tray
"of course, babygirl", he replied, putting his hands on top of your trembling ones
his large hands completely enveloped yours
when the nurse pricked the syringe into your arm, he squeezed your hands
"see, that wasn't too bad, right?"
"yeah, whatever" *sniffle sniffle*
also the type to take you for ice cream afterwards.
sakusa
"you may not come near me until you have received your flu shot," your beloved boyfriend declared
"omi omi but i need you. and also we were just cuddling this morning bruh" you pouted. "please please please will you come with me" *cue the puppy eyes*
"fine" he grunted. 
at the hospital he refuses to sit next to you, insisting that he stands def not bc he's concerned abt the germs on the seat
when you froze upon seeing the needle, he put one of his big hands on your shoulder
"you can hold my hand," 
"really?"
"don't make me take it back"
"okie"
you put your other hand on top of his, your arm draping across your body
his fingers intertwined around yours and clasped it when you winced at the pain
he'll draw you a bath when you get home and wash your body for you!!
so sweet and loving 10/10 experience
akaashi
you were currently hiding under a desk
specifically, the doctor's desk
"my love. it's no use if you hide, we're already here," akaashi sighed
he spent the last 2 hours dragging you to the nearest clinic for a flu shot
"you need to protect yourself so you don't get hurt," he had explained calmly
only for you, his sassy s/o to retort
"so why are you dragging me to a clinic just so i can get punctured by a needle? isn't that like, pain? which im supposed to protect myself from?"
someone help this poor bby boy
but somehow he had managed to lure you into the clinic
"alright. this is the last level i have to conquer. and then everything should be fine again" he thought to himself.
just the shot. just a lil pinch. right?
w r o n g
you were hysterical and sobbing
frankly, he felt really bad. but this had to happen at some point, right? after all, your fear of needles had started since you were a child. he was bound to have experienced something like this, as your dutiful boyfriend
he actually felt really bad
so he turned to the method that has worked for him time and time again to sooth his anxiety
"here, play with my fingers, it'll distract you" he reached out his hand to you and helped you out from under the desk
it worked!!
when the nurse came back, he rubbed the back of your hand,  a silent "im here for you"
definitely lots of comfort and cuddles afterward!
"see, that wasn't so bad, was it?"
shibayama
the syringe was right in front of you and the nurse was currently disinfecting your arm with the alcohol wipe.
when he saw you tense up at the touch, he'll whisper lots of reassuring words into your ears 
"hey. you got this, i promise! it'll just be a little sting, and the pain is only temporary."
when he saw tears welling up in your eyes, he'll swipe them away with his thumb, caressing your cheeks.
"make me proud," 
how could you say no to his puppy eyes?? 
"i'll try, yuuki," you sniffled
he put his hand on your shoulder, gently drumming his fingers to the tune of your favorite song to help distract you
his other hand rubbing your palm
after everything's done, he'll give the bandaid little kisses!! 
awwww he's trying to kiss ur pain away my sweet baby
he wants you to know that even through pain, he'll be there by your side.
will take you out for ice cream pt.3
tags!!: @aka-a-shii (anna thank you for getting me into writing i hope i did akaashi justice), @toshisgarden (ily big sis mwah) @gigis-galaxy(bc ILY GIGI)
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Are We Okay?
It had been about three days since Lance had walked out of the tiny two bedroom apartment on Leo Street.
Three days since Keith had started calling and texting nonstop, begging for him to come home.
Three days since he had eaten anything other than a snack size bag of cheetos and half a caramel macchiato he had felt too entirely guilty to finish.
Three days, and nothing from Shiro.
He'd fucked up. Bad this time, that much Lance knew. He'd known that he'd been staying out late, acting out, not communicating about how he felt about the situation. It was all just a huge mistake.
But in the moment, Lance felt angry, and abandoned, and didn't care.
Shiro and Keith shouldn't want him back. Not after he'd lied and said that he felt guilty about being in the relationship.
About being with them.
God, why was the truth so hard to articulate.
In reality, he was anything but.
Lance was the happiest he'd ever been, out in public holding hands with them, walking down the street with his boyfriends made his day.
Coming home to a warm apartment.
To love.
It'd been a while since he'd felt that.
Not since his family had asked him to leave.
So yeah, the news of Shiro leaving for a job halfway across the country, after two years of Lance finally letting someone in, finally trusting enough to love and be loved,
It hurt like hell.
The anger and drinking and avoiding it all had helped nothing, but he couldn't bear to have them slam the door in his face. Defeated, Lance trudged back to Pidge's apartment, slowly.
-------------------------------------------------
As Lance crossed the threshhold into the living room, he found himself suddenly face to face with Keith.
He turned to walk right back out the door, but Keith all but pulled his arm out to get him back inside, on the couch, and attentive.
Keith looked at Lance, nearly crying, and finally broke the silence:
"Lance, you need to tell me what the fuck is actually going on"
As he fought back tears and kept the emotion from his face, Lance said,
"You heard me, I'm ashamed and I'm-"
"Bull. Fucking. Shit."
Keith appeared to be reaching the point of spilling over, punctuating each word with angry tears as he began to yell,
"Lance fucking McClain, if you are going to try and have me believe for one fucking second that in a matter of two weeks, two years of unconditional love became so unravelled to the point of no return that you preferred to stab both of your boyfriends in the heart through the back than to actually tell them what the fuck is going on. You stay out all night, drinking, come home wasted, begging for us not to leave you, while we're worried sick that you're gonna throw up and die, or that you won't make it home when you inevitably do it again. And in the morning, instead of trusting us enough to talk about what the fuck is going on, you spew this load of bullshit about not wanting us anymore??!?!"
Lance began fighting back tears himself, but Keith backed away rapidly, as if unable to look at him anymore, shook his head, and grabbed his jacket, turning back only to say,
"Come home when you're ready to be reasonable and talk."
With that, Keith left, and Lance broke down into sobs.
---------------------------------------------------
The next morning found Lance knocking at the apartment door, absolutely trembling with fear and anxiety, waiting for Shiro to open the stupid, threatening door, go 'I don't have time for this, Lance' and shut it.
Excruciatingly painful, but quick, easy, like ripping off a bandaid that had been stuck down with tar and superglue and tearing off multiple layers of skin in the process.
Lance sighed heavily. He was not ready for this.
Shiro was leaving anyways, so heartbreak was already inevitable.
Why not accelerate the process?
Yet, to Lance's surprise, Shiro opened the door, paused for quite a while, but said nothing, instead choosing to move out of the way and hold the door wide open until Lance came inside.
He sat down on the couch as Shiro pulled up a chair and Keith stood behind him.
Awkward silence passed. Lance fidgeting with his beanie in his hands, picking at a seam on the logo as if he ha nothing better to do.
Ten seconds...
Thirty seconds...
A whole minute had passed, wasted, when Lance finally just burst out in exasperation, saying,
"What do you want me to say, huh?"
Shiro arched one eyebrow at this, and Keith's became furrowed, as both men became increasingly confused. Both the tremor in Lance's voice and the way he wouldn't just look at them had them dumbfounded beyond words.
"Do you want me to apologise? Grovel? Beg? Lie again and say I have totally processed the fact that you're leaving to go to fucking Germany for work? Tell you again that I'm okay with it all? Is that what you want to hear?!"
Keith and Shiro seemed shocked, but Lance continued on, tremor increasing and glistening tears sliding down his face
"You know, maybe if I wasn't so fucked up, I coulda been okay with it all. If I was sure that you wouldn't move on and forget me like every other fucking person in my life has, I might be okay with how you're moving halfway across the world, far as hell, for work, meaning you'll be busy as hell."
Too busy for me.
Lance began actively sobbing now.
"I mean *hic* what are the odds?! *hic*sniff* I finally get comfortable, I finally love *hic* and have something I can call my *hic* own, people I can say definitely *hic* love *hic* me and then *hic* you're *hic* just *hic*hic* just gonna *hic* leave?*hic*"
"Shhhhhh, I'm here"
Shiro had sat down on the couch now, wrapping Lance up tight in his arms and letting him cry. Keith came and hugged him from behind. Lance cried on, no longer trying to talk, just sobbing uncontrollably, clutching onto Shiro's shirt as if for dear life. Shiro began petting Lance's hair, holding him tighter and allowing him to calm down. As Lance's sobs became more an occasional sniffle, he began again,
"God, IamsosorryIcan't*sniff*believeIevenconsideredsaying*sniff*Iwas*sniff*ashamedhowcouldIbeashamedofthebestthingsthathaveever*sniff*happened*hic*tome, I'm*hic*sniff*ashamedofmyself*hic*"
Lance began crying harder again, so Shiro just held on, humming a soft melody while Keith reassured Lance that everything would be okay.
-------------------------------------------------------
After a full meal (Shiro and Keith were appalled to discover that Lance had barely eaten at all, the nervous wreck), quite a few long, sad kisses and I love yous, some clean clothes, more crying and hugging, a blanket, and a steaming cup of decaf tea, Lance and Keith and Shiro all stood on the small balcony, looking out at the bustling city in the middle of the day.
And in that moment, as he wrapped himself tighter in the blanket hanging on his thin frame, Lance thought,
'Maybe it really will be okay'
Before leaning into both Keith and Shiro next to him and letting the warmth bathe over him as he closed his eyes and rested.
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