#fell for the old valuing the establishment over the individual yet again

[zzzevrann]

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[whosscruffylooking]

The Purest Things: Wingmen (Aaron Hotchner x Female BAU! Reader)

this is based on season 10 episode 10 “amelia porter”

Warnings: None. Pure Fluff.

A/N: I am so beyond obsessed with the mutual pining. Initially, this was going to be one part, but I have to slow burn the heck out of this, so it'll be a few parts. Enjoy!

The Purest Things Masterlist

august 2014

Bookend: "You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you. And then you meet one person and your life is changed forever." – Love & Other Drugs

I walk into the jazz club, searching for Rossi. For the past year and a half, we have frequented this classy establishment, bonding over our shared passion for jazz and fine liquor. We come here every Friday unless the job keeps us away. It's a form of escapism that I have grown to cherish deeply. With a job like ours, finding something to look forward to each week, some semblance of a routine is crucial.

I stroll over to “our” booth, but instead of seeing David’s familiar face, it's that of the Unit Cheif. I throw my head back and laugh, “Of all the people I could have expected to see here...you were not one of them.”

Don't get me wrong; I'm not upset to find him here. I could never get enough of him. I see him nearly every day of the week, I have weekly movie nights with Jack, and Aaron and I have been to hell and back with each other over the years.

He shakes his head and smirks, “What can I say? I'm full of surprises.”

“So tell me Aaron Hotchner, to what do I owe the pleasure of your company this evening?”

“David Rossi, ” he emphasizes.

“So you’ve been recruited as one of his wingmen too huh?”

“Apparently so.”

“Well I'm glad you're here.” I slide into the booth next to him.

He glides his cup in circles along the tablecloth, “Me too.”

“May I pry?” I inquire.

He nods, “You may.”

“Why exactly are you here? Believe me, I'm thrilled you're joining us, but David and I have been coming here for over a year. Why'd he invite you now?”

His shoulders tense up, and then he inhales deeply, the tension releasing when he exhales.

“If I'm being completely honest, I think it has something to do with the fact that Beth and I are no longer together.”

“Oh my God, Hotch. I'm so sorry, I didn't know.”

Aaron looks up at me; the professional man, the profiler I'm so familiar with, is gone. Instead, he looks at me with the eyes of a vulnerable man, someone who loves so passionately and craves that same love in return. This isn't the first time he's looked at me with those eyes, and I pray that it is not the last time. If it were anyone else, the prolonged eye contact would deter me; my glance would dart in the other direction. But, for years, I have savored these intimate moments with him. I'm not exactly sure when this connection began or when it deepened to the awareness we now have of one another.

Most likely, it began shortly after Haley’s death, when I started to spend more time with Jack or those late nights working in the office with him. Maybe it was that time I brought him his favorite coffee and bagel to his house because I knew he wouldn’t feed himself otherwise.

(Aaron’s P.O.V.)

I gaze at her with utmost fascination. She is a mystery I have never been able to solve, a profile I cannot complete. She is whole, a pillar of strength for our team, her family, me, and Jack. Yet, there is a fear within her that mimics a young child scared of the monsters that are both imagined and real. She’s seen and experienced things that no one her age should have to witness. I can see through the worn expression on her face. She’s holding herself together for the sake of everyone around her, but inside she’s slowly falling apart. All I want is to help mend those crumbling pieces and hold her together. She doesn’t realize that she has been doing that very thing for me for the past four years.

In my life, I have had the opportunity to love deeply and freely. But two of those loves stand in realms of their own. The first time I fell in love, it was with an opposite. A precious, symbolic tale of love and loss.

With Beth, I did love her. She gave me the strength to feel something again after Haley died. I found the ability to move forward with hope and recognition that I deserve happiness once again.

The second great love came in the form of a mirror. We share an empathy, an understanding of the fundementals of life and love that shapes our individual values. I was far from perfect when we met; I was detached, damaged, and hopeless. I felt like I was barely a man. Truth be told, I won’t be perfect after the fact either. But, she gives me a sense of realness that I never perceived as possible. And since the day we met before I even accepted the actuality of my affections for her, I strove to better myself. Every day since, and for the rest of my life, I want to work every day to be the man she deserves and needs.

Awakening from my trance, I speak up, “I am grateful every day for the relationship I had with Beth. I truly did love her. I love her still for the person she helped me become. I realized, through her, that I can choose to move forward with my life.”

“You deserve to be happy, Aaron,” she interjects.

“Some time ago, Rossi came into my office encouraging me to start dating again. He reminded me that Haley wouldn’t want me to avoid moving on. Of course, my immediate instinct was to deny that I was guilty of just that. But he was right. He told me that I am no good to anyone when I’m miserable.”

She throws her head back and laughs, “Miserable? No, I wouldn’t call you that. Slightly uptight? Absolutely.”

I gasp, exaggerating a look of offense, “I’m hurt.”

She touches my arm, and I can feel my heart stop for a beat. Something about her touch elevated my heart and soul to another plain. It’s as if her small hand on my forearm revealed the certainty I had been searching for.

I chuckle, “Don’t worry. David and I came to the same conclusion.”

“Phew,” she breathes out a sigh of relief, “Good because I didn’t know how I was going to dig myself out of that hole....but please, continue what you were saying.”

I take a deep breath, “When you and I met I had already lost my entire world. Haley had just recently taken Jack, we were fighting constantly, and then...” I feel my eyes beginning to sting, and I realize that she hasn’t taken her grip off my arm once she squeezes it reassuringly.

“When Haley died, it felt like I was staring into an abyss. After the funeral, you found me alone, in some room that I had escaped to for some solace. But I didn’t feel any relief. And then, you came in. You sat across from me, and we just sat in silence. Somehow though, more was said in that silence than I had ever dared to utter out loud to someone. You didn’t know it then, but you saved me that day. You saved Jack too.”

I hear her short intake of breath and look over to see her lip beginning to tremble.

“Aaron...”

As much as I want to hear her melodic voice speak to me now, when I am most unarmed, a feeling that is entirely foreign to me, I have never felt so driven to yell from the top of my lungs a profession of love for this woman.

I begin to speak again, and I am immediately interrupted by Rossi, accompanied by the jazz singer hooked on his arm.

“La mia bella ragazza! Finalmente sei arrivato,” he says, kissing the top of her head. She blushes slightly, her eyes flickering to me briefly.

“You are a sight for sore eyes my dear. Is she not Aaron?”

I take a sip of my drink, glancing at y/n, her beautiful y/e/c sparkling back at me. How can anyone put into words just how beautiful she is?

I nod, “She is indeed.”

I’m suddenly made aware of the absence of her touch on my arm. How can someone’s touch both simultaneously have such a stronghold on you and also set you free? Regardless of the reason, I long to savor that feeling once again.

“Well,” she inches out of the booth, “I’m going to get a drink. Can I get you boys anything?”

We shake our heads in unison. Rossi suggests that his date join her.

He places his hand on my shoulder, “So? Any progress made?”

“I don’t want to overwhelm her. There’s so much I want to say. But I feel like I’ve put her through enough already. I’m an old man Dave. I’m a widower with a son. The damage I’d be asking her to cope with, the burden I’d be subjecting her to...”

David clears his throat and slips his phone out of his pocket. He swipes through some photos in his camera roll and lands on a photo of y/n and me. It’s from a cocktail party he hosted a few years ago. Jack, y/n, and I are sitting on the grass in Rossi’s backyard playing with dandelions. I can still hear their laughter filling the air: Jack’s squeals and y/n’s child-like giggles. We felt like a family. I would give anything to relive those moments of genuine bliss, to feel that sensation of being complete, heart, mind, and soul once more.

“Sometimes,” Rossi begins, “when people are destined to be together, their love grows over an undetermined span of time. It could be months, weeks, even years. You both may feel the shared pain of this rollercoaster called life and the hurt that comes from being separated from one another, but this helps you better grasp the priceless value and purity of the love you share. There is no easy road to love. Anyone who claims otherwise is doomed to be plagued by the mediocrity that is a false sense of security. The path you are on, Aaron is the one walked by the greatest lovers in history. In layman’s terms, don’t screw this up.”

[benevolent-dictator]

Late Night Thoughts on Dan and Phil: Fond Memories and Little More

     Before I get into the meat of this post, I want to include what I believe to be a critical preamble if one is to understand the bulk of this essay (and please understand, I use the term “essay” very loosely here. As you’ll quickly come to realize, it is more a haphazard collection of thoughts strung together in a more of less cohesive format). It’s important I lay out explicitly what this post is as opposed to what it is not: namely, the intent of this post is to act as a sort of analytical essay delineating my thoughts and opinions on the famous Youtubers Dan Howell’s and Amazingphil’s entertainment value rather than the merit of their characters themselves (and how I believe - for me personally - their entertainment value to have stagnated). 

     I feel this important to clarify because typically, when reading online analyses of internet personalities, critiques tend to fall into one of two camps: 1) value judgments placed upon a creator’s work/entertainment, or 2) value judgments placed upon a creator’s moral character. The perfect example of these two camps in action can be found in Lilly Singh and Jake Paul. Regardless of your own personal feelings surrounding the two online creators, I believe it fair to say the vast majority of criticism allotted to them illustrate the two camps rather nicely. For example, a not insignificant amount of people tend to dislike Lilly Singh for her lackluster entertainment value, i.e. the content she uploads to YouTube/broadcasts on her late night show. Although there does exist some backlash towards her standing as a moral actor (or lack thereof), when you enter her name into Youtube’s search feature, six out of the first ten recommended videos are all criticisms directed at how “unfunny” she is. Jake Paul, on the other hand, demonstrates the other school of thought: criticizing moral standing over entertainment value. Again, regardless of your personal views on Jake Paul’s character, it is undeniable that the vast majority of the backlash he receives centers around the immorality of his actions rather than how, “mundane” or “lackluster” his content. Therefore, I want to clarify that I am in no way attempting to use this post to discredit either Dan or Phil’s character. Instead, I wish to share my thoughts on their entertainment value as creators, and how - for me - I no longer find myself enchanted with their content. 

     Additionally, throughout the course of this post you’ll find that I often refer to Dan and Phil as a collective. I understand how this remains a point of contention throughout the fandom, for it remains a sad truth that oftentimes Phil (despite being his own autonomous individual/entertainer) gets lumped in with Dan who - in terms of subscriber count and sheer volume of fans - remains the more successful of the two. It is not my intent to relegate Phil to Dan’s shadow - rather, I find that many of the critiques I have for one cross-apply to the other, hence my frequent use of “Dan and Phil” instead of just Dan or just Phil.   

      Lastly, I would like to get ahead of the curve (should it ever arise) and placate the masses now while I have the opportunity. It is not my intent - and nor has it ever been my intent with any online criticisms - to disparage not only the creator, but their fans. I understand that there is still a thriving community of fans centered around the entertainment Dan and Phil put forth, and it is not my goal to shame anyone for their likes and preferences, or even to try to change your minds. This is not meant to be a persuasive essay: simply an analytical one (granted, one primarily propped up by my own biased opinions over statistical data, but I hope you are able to take the sum total of my assessments with a grain of salt and understand that just as you are welcome and encouraged to share your thoughts on the matter, I wish to be afforded that same generosity).  

     Now with that very important preamble out of the way (which, if you decided to skim, I would highly encourage you to go back and read it in full, for I believe it to have some rather crucial groundwork laid out) we can delve into the heart of the matter. In order to do so, I think it important to establish my background on this subject matter. Dan Howell was the first Youtuber I ever watched. I was still extremely new to YouTube as a platform at the time, and I remember scrolling through my homepage until I stumbled across a video titled, “Human Interaction.” From there, I was hooked. There really isn’t much to say from there; I immediately fell over myself watching video after video of his and, in the process, quickly discovered his flatmate Phil’s channel (or as we know him, Amazingphil). From the years 2013 to about late 2017 they were my all-time favorite Youtubers. As the years wore on I only subscribed to about ten other Youtubers because I felt so strongly that no other creator could capture the magic of what Dan and Phil uploaded. I watched all their videos, bought their merch, and, when the opportunity arose, even went to the Amazing Tour is Not on Fire. I still remember that night (seeing Dan and Phil burst on stage out of a giant prop microwave) as one of the happiest live-performance experiences of my life. My apathy towards both did not spring forth born out out of some heinous act either committed. Rather, it was a steady, almost innocuous decline. I feel as though I simply grew out of them. And here is where my first, and pretty much only real critique comes to light; both Dan and Phil’s content have remained stagnate. 

     Please do not misunderstand: I realize that Youtubers are real people, and to demand growth and change out of people who have arguably settled into who they want to be as adults would be rather unfair. Dan and Phil are not characters on a tv show - I don’t get to shake my fist at my laptop screen and gripe about “poor character arcs” or “slow seasons.” Dan and Phil are flesh and blood - they are not playing characters in a fictional universe. Sure, arguably all Youtubers (and any online persona) “put on a face” for the camera, but there’s a world of difference between, “forcing myself to be extra chipper for the next hour,” and acting out a character in a Hollywood writer’s script. On the one hand, there is a part of me that is happy Dan and Phil (after so many years of struggling with their identities) finally found happiness in themselves. However, if you’ll remember back to what I said in the preamble, that is not the point of this essay. 

     My apathy towards Dan and Phil lies not with their moral characters, but with their entertainment value, and for me personally, I find it hard to be entertained by what I find to be the same old content I was laughing at in 2013 repackaged into new scenarios and re-uploaded in 2020. Dan and Phil’s prize content was their ability to be so relatable. For Dan especially, I loved hearing him talk about how awkward he was around other people because that’s how I felt around the people in my own life. However, that did not last. I eventually grew out of my awkwardness and found a multitude of friends that I was able to be myself around, and in turn take that confidence I felt around them and project it onto others that came into my life, regardless of how well I knew them. Dan, as well as Phil, had lost the one thing that drew me to them in the first place: their ability to be relatable. Even so, during the latter half of the years during which I continued to watch their videos, there was something else that kept me around: their humor. I thought they were wonderfully funny, and even during my darkest hours I knew I could count on them to brighten my day. Yet, as the years I went by, I noticed that the subject matter of their humor remained pretty much the same as well. Most of their punchlines centered around the same handful of premises (for example, Dan joking about how black his soul is), and like I stated earlier, I had begun to grow tired of the stagnation. 

     One last time, I would like to recognize that what one person might call “stagnation” another would call “finding a niche,” and I respect that. Many people would argue that Dan and Phil simply stumbled across a specific niche years ago and have been fulfilling that hole glamorously nearly a decade later, and to that I say that’s wonderful! I think that’s a perfectly valid viewpoint to take! It just so happens that I do not share that same perspective.

     One of the many indicators in which I feel you can physically see how unchanged their videos have become is in Phil’s (it’s hard to judge Dan’s progression since his last video was uploaded about a year ago as of this post’s uploading). As of mid-2020, Phil’s editing has remained largely unchanged. He still uses the same sound effects, the same visual cues, the same editing tools, and after nearly a decade of watching, I’ve just begun to find it all stale. Even his video concepts remain largely unchanged. I understand that if he’s uploading much of the same content over years that must mean he’s making the content he wants to make, and I am happy he’s reached that point, but it is not the content for me. 

     All in all, this was a terribly long post that I had considered writing for a while now, and regardless if anyone even reads it, I figure, “Hey - I’ve written it, it’s off my chest, and now I can finally rest in peace.” I no longer find Dan and Phil relatable for the person I have grown into. I in no way regret all the years I spent loving their content and laughing at their antics. But when you look at Dan’s Tweets from around 2014 to now and see that his jokes have remained fairly unvaried, as have Phil’s, I no longer feel a connection to the two as I once had. Lastly, I do want to say that these opinions of mine are not solidified. Yes, this is how I feel now, and it is how I’ve felt for quite some time, but please do not mistake my current stance for me digging my heels in the sand to declare, “No! I have sworn off Dan and Phil and I shall never partake in their content again!” No, of course not! I’m always open to change, and if Dan and Phil suddenly take an enjoyable creative turn, I’d be happy to take a look. And what’s more, I’m a sucker for nostalgia, so I can definitely see myself popping on YouTube to watch an old Dan video or two, or an old Phil video or two, or a gaming channel video or two, or whatever! They will always leave me with fond memories - memories I will take with me for years to come.

[bo-kryzze]

Thoughts on why Endgame is a happy ending for Peggy too.

Peggy Carter was never just a simple “love interest” when she first appeared on screen in The First Avenger. For goodness sake, her first time on screen she punches a jerk in the face! 

She was Steve’s superior and was overseeing the training of the recruits for Project Rebirth at the time she met him. 

Then yes, she and Steve fell for each other. As Hayley Atwell has said many times, Steve and Peggy are kindred spirits and bonded over their similar but individual life struggles. They believed in the same things. That’s part of why she supported him on his mission to go rescue Bucky and the 107th. She got flack for it, and she stood up for herself! 

“With respect, Sir. I don’t regret my actions and I don’t think Captain Rogers did either.” 

Then at the end of the film, she fights along BESIDE the men, including Steve and rescues him from the HYDRA agent with a flamethrower at one point. 

Peggy was very much her own character well before Agent Carter. Yup! I said it! What a wild concept. 

Agent Carter was such a gift because it gave us the chance to see more of a pretty well established character. We had found out in The Winter Soldier (2014) that Peggy had lived a pretty dang amazing life. And she helped found S.H.I.E.L.D, something we had actually found out in The Agent Carter: One Shot (2013). 

When AC aired in 2015, it simply fleshed out the character we had already seen quite a bit of. It filled in some of the gaps of Peggy’s life from 1945 to when we see her again in present day. It also arguably made Peggy more human because we got to see her outside of the office and more of her personal struggles. 

Because of all this, I disagree with the equiating of Steve’s “death” to Peggy’s character development and her strength. People act like Peggy’s character growth is completely dependent on Steve’s “death.” As if she wasn’t a badass amazing character to begin with. I ask what kinda message is that to send? That we have to lose the people we love to become the people we’re meant to be. That’s a pretty cold and short-sighted attitude. 

I’m not saying, Steve’s death didn’t affect Peggy or influence her actions in any way. It clearly did! Death of a loved one is a major event in someone’s life. Something you carry with you for the rest of your life. Really, I think the biggest takeaway is that Steve’s death reaffirmed who Peggy already was and the memory of who he was inspired her to continue to fight the good fight. She didn’t want his death to be meaningless. 

Something Hayley spoke about in an interview: 

It’s only been a year and she’s grieving him and I think what keeps her going is he was the greatest person she ever knew - even before he took the serum and became Captain America... So I think she’s grieving the loss of him but she’s also determined to make sure that his work wasn’t in vain. That gives her a tremendous amount of determination to carry on despite the obstacles that she comes across.” (x)

Peggy Carter was NOT just a old flame of a superhero, taking on his mantle. She was already a hero in her own right.  

Absolutely! Seeing her work through her grief and reach acceptance was beautifully done and so moving. Very inspirational as well. And yes, after that Peggy moved on. You move on because you have to guys! It’s a common misconception, that grief is linear and it’s not. It’s a cycle! You can tell that the loss of Steve was affecting Peggy much later down the line, the full interview in 1953 and the Steggy scene in TWS for example. 

The men in her office didn’t respect her simply because she was a woman in a male-dominated work environment- not because she was Cap’s girlfriend or whatever. They used her relationship with Steve against her because it was an easy potshot. But it wasn’t the cause of the disrespect.

There was more growth happening with Peggy by the end of season 1 of Agent Carter than just moving on. She recognized that she too needs support- and that doesn’t need to remove herself from the world she wishes to protect. And she also realizes that she doesn’t need to approval of the men in her office when it comes to her abilities as an agent. She knows she’s doing her best, as frustrating as it is that they can’t see that. She’s got nothing to prove to them. She knows her value. 

The end of Endgame didn’t take anything away from Peggy’s character. No, it didn’t erase her life and her accomplishments or the show, Agent Carter. 

Branch off timeline or what have you, I’m not going to get into it much. Only echo yet again what Bruce Banner said: “Changing the past, doesn’t change the future.” Nothing was erased. There’s literally no reason to say that Peggy can’t lead an amazing life, have her career and a family with Steve. None whatsoever. They’d support each other. Love is a strength, it’s not a weakness. And I can’t believe I have to say this but she CHOOSE to be with Steve when he came back to the 1940′s from the future (we don’t know exactly when no) He didn’t make her, she choose to marry him and literally said I DO. Rather it be in 1945, likely soon after the Valkyrie crash, which would suggest they would have pursued their relationship and got married in the first place, if he hadn’t crashed the plane. Or even perhaps, after the events of Agent Carter in 1948 depending. Regardless, it was her choice (I personally am leaning ever so slightly towards a branch off timeline for now. But I get the logic to him being the husband the whole time and certain things about that make sense. There are certainly great cases and confusing things to both lines of thought I’d say)

Sure, I wish we could see more of her perspective on the whole thing. Especially on him coming back and what exactly she knows. Absolutely I would! I think her perspective is important, and I hope maybe one day this will be expanded on. They way they did it, isn’t bad. It’s certainly not a disservice to Peggy’s character. It’s not bad that she didn’t have lines, especially in that final scene (I have seen people complain about this, believing it takes away her agency) It’s called having a MOMENT. They were having a MOMENT, you don’t need dialogue for that. Really, her face and his face says it all. 

Peggy once said: “I seem to have a habit of losing the people closest to me. Perhaps losing is too nice a word. I get them killed.”

 And, “I suppose I wanted a second chance at keeping him safe.” 

Well now, she gets a second chance and to live her best life with the love of her life. She got that chance. I didn’t know if we’d ever see Peggy again when she died in Civil War. But we did and she got to basically live again in the past so to speak. Peggy Carter got that! It sounds from Steve’s “It was beautiful” comment, they were pretty freakin happy. As a Peggy fan, I couldn’t ask for more. 

[alexsmitposts]

Sinking Ships Deserting Rats Before They Are Eaten Away We have all heard the phrase, “like rats deserting a sinking ship”. It signifies that when a cause is failing, the least committed members of it leave very quickly to protect themselves, leaving others behind to face the consequences. We do not often hear that “the sinking ship is deserting the rat.” But that is what we are seeing right now. One ship is the US Republican Party, and the other the UK Conservative Party. It is therefore blindingly obvious who the rats are, which is why their ships are deserting them—and why now! Rats versus Goats Political parties always look for scapegoats. It is always someone else’s fault if things go wrong, not theirs or their supporters. If they have to face the fact that they mucked up themselves, one or two individuals are identified as “rogue operators” and the rest disassociate themselves from these to try and limit damage to the organisation. Think of the vilification still being heaped on Richard Nixon, by those who were happy to profit from his crimes in various ways until he was caught. But this process occurs when the party, the ship, thinks it can remain in power. By throwing out the king rat before the rest jump, it thinks it can save itself. It rarely happens that the ship is happy to scuttle itself and leave the rat in place, in the hope that the rat will drown without the ship and the ship can rise again from the bottom of the ocean. But that is what we are seeing now – wilful sabotage of great political parties, because that is the only way that they can be saved from their rats. Many Republicans and Conservatives are now quite happy to vote against, undermine and destroy their own ships because they are rapidly being left with no other option. They have to get out and build another ship because the rats have taken over the old one so completely that it has become impossible to sail. Throwing the rats out is no longer an option, because the ship cannot get rid of the smell they leave behind. Rats versus Elephants It has always been known that a lot of Republicans, including some senior figures, do not agree with the presidency of Donald J. Trump. Not only do we know this, we should all be grateful that we know this. The US system of primaries means that party divisions are examined in public, in elections, until the candidate most suitable to most party members emerges, at least in theory be held in secret, and then become subject of secret deals, are aired in public in the US, so the US electorate has a much better idea of where politicians actually stand than those of most countries. Nevertheless, the primary system generally results in losing candidates declaring their support for the winner and their platform, or keeping silent. It is unusual to find a leading member of the same party criticising its candidate, whatever their private opinions are, and even more so when the candidate is a sitting president. There is now quite a litany of prominent Republicans who have taken their distaste for Trump so far that they intend to vote for his opponent in November. George W. Bush, the previous Republican president, is widely believed to have voted for Hillary Clinton in 2016. John McCain didn’t vote for Trump either, or Jeb Bush, or Mitt Romney, if you believe reports. Since then we have had a stream of lies, stunts, scandals and mishandlings which have further eaten away at Trump’s internal supporter base. It is not so much that Republicans disapprove of what Trump has done, but that they feel targeted by it. Trump won the 2016 Republican nomination, and subsequent presidential election, on an “us and them” platform. But the “swamp” he promised to drain wasn’t simply a Democratic one, but contained the whole political establishment. A prominent part of it has always been occupied by more traditional Republicans, and often are ones who don’t agree with Trump. Initially it was Trump himself who largely made this distinction to garner support from voters who felt disenfranchised. But as time has gone on, “Trumpism” has become a thing, a term of abuse used by members of his own party. A “Reaganism” was either an unintentional reference to the Third World War or a grandfatherly reassurance, such as that heard after the Challenger disaster. A “Bushism” was a mangling of the English language such as “They misunderestimated me”. “Trumpism” is a whole raft of policies and positions which the US State Department defines as “racism” or “fascism” when they are applied in countries the US doesn’t like. He calls Covid-19 either the “Chinese virus” or “foreign virus,” institutes travel bans on black and brown people fleeing the very governments he is objecting to, violates the Constitution daily and wilfully discriminates whenever he can to draw distinctions between “good” and “bad” people, which equate precisely with whether he thinks those people will vote for him or not. Many Republicans feel that Trumpism is alien to them, a disfiguring of what their party and they as individuals stand for. Former General Colin Powell, who is probably more popular than any politician and served as Secretary of State under George W. Bush, has announced he will be voting for Democratic nominee-presumptive Joe Biden in November. Two former House Speakers a former Defense Secretary and a former White House Chief of Staff have also joined an anti-Trump faction. This is now so significant that Biden’s campaign is considering establishing a specific “Republicans for Biden” group nearer to polling day. What will turning on Trump achieve? It is unlikely that these dissident Republicans will regain control of their party. Those who do stay loyal, out of conviction or reluctance, will not welcome traitors, as they would see them, to leadership positions once the dust has settled. Dissident Republicans are not seeking to save their party but to destroy it – by leaving it purely in the hands of the Trumpists and then making it unelectable. Then they will have the basis of a new organisation, perhaps calling itself the Republican Party and perhaps not, which will unashamaedly reject its current President and candidate to reflect the views of those who feel wounded by his appropriations of their values. The US has changed its party system before – though there has always been a binary choice at the highest level, the Federalists of George Washington and Whigs of Abraham Lincoln are long gone. The Federalist colour was black. The Republican ship is now, almost unthinkably, quite happy to desert its rat in order to remove the blackness covering it and reveal its natural red, or red white and blue, again, even if this means building a new ship out of the battered driftwood of its planks. Rats versus Snakes The UK Conservative Party has some claim to being the largest and most successful political party in the democratic world. With Theresa May, who regarded herself as “liberal” as leader, it came fifth in the 2019 European Parliament elections, by far its worst performance ever in a national election. Yet Boris Johnson led it to an unexpected and mould-breaking victory in the parliamentary election a few months later, and led the UK out of the EU, the issue which had hurt Theresa May’s premiership the most. The victory was mould-breaking because the Conservatives actually fell back in their traditional areas of support, the better off suburbs and rural areas. BoJo the Clown owes his large majority to capturing many traditional Labour seats, some of which had never elected a Conservative before, but contain large numbers of Brexiteers spooked by the “intellectual elitist radicalism” of former Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn. Johnson makes the same pitch as Trump – people versus politicians. He has also conducted ruthless purges of his own party, whose traditions long predate his own unfortunate arrival in its midst. Soon after taking over as Prime Minister he removed the party whip from 21 of his own MPs, whilst running a minority government, because they would not back him over Brexit. Many of these then left parliament at the subsequent election, enabling BoJo to fill his new Cabinet with what one of his own senior party members calls “the nodding dogs,” who will support him come what may on the most controversial issues. So far BoJo has largely got away with recasting the Conservatives as the anti-political party. But like Trump, he has delivered a blustering and inadequate performance when confronted with the Covid-19 crisis, and indeed many other things. Even then he has retained much support, partly due to opposition weakness. Now however that very majority, obtained by wooing non-Conservatives, is turning into the biggest threat to the Conservative ship. Like Trump, BoJo first tried to make out that Covid-19 wasn’t real, another establishment conspiracy. With death rates mounting, and scientists contradicting his claims that he was being guided by their advice, he belatedly adopted a lockdown strategy, at a time when the British economy was already reeling from Brexit. Nevertheless, people in serious danger of losing their livelihoods and homes, and more danger of losing their lives than in any other country largely did as he told them to. They stayed at home, not able to visit sick relatives or attend weddings and funerals if that meant travelling more than a few miles away. Then they were treated to the sight of Dominic Cummings, the Prime Minister’s unelected spin doctor considered the true architect of these rules, driving over 200 miles with his family to find childcare when he should have been in isolation and then making another trip of 30 miles to “check his eyesight” and see if he was fit to drive back to London. All in direct contravention of the rules imposed on the rest of the population. This was explained away by both BoJo and Cummings himself as “what any father would have done.” Thousands of others would, had they been allowed to, but felt obliged to obey the rules. Naturally and rightly, they expected Cummings, as a government insider, to do the same. Ministers have been ordered to defend Cummings, and either resigned or been forced out if they don’t, even when they are ardent Brexiteers Every current minister owes their job, and their parliamentary seat, to being a Johnson loyalist, and had to agree to support him, rather than the party as a whole or its principles, when they stood for election in 2019. But now BoJo is pushing his own acolytes into the opposite intra-party camp, over an unelected adviser, both he and they have nowhere to go. Traditional Tories have given up on saving their party. Most have either left parliament or resigned altogether. Johnson loyalists owe their seats and survival solely to him. But with Johnson rapidly becoming more toxic than Covid-19 and chlorinated chicken, they will have to find a new ship, unassociated with this rat, to come out of this self-inflicted national tragedy in one piece. UK parties don’t change much either – the same big two have held those positions since 1918. But Johnson has so successfully remade the Conservatives in his own image that most of his own supporters will have to become something else to have any future, and can only do this and retain credibility by scuttling their existing ship, deliberately, and constructing a new, ratless one. Rats versus Humanity There are always those who disagree with the leaders of their chosen political party. Generally they try and win internal arguments. If they can no longer support their leader, they either opt out or vote for, or join, another one. It is very rare that we see a situation where members of a party feel they are better off destroying it and starting a new one. It happened to the United Australia Party, once the main party of the centre right in Australia, and the Progressive Conservatives in Canada in more recent times. But in these instances the whole party had become moribund, too many rats having already left. They were not run by rats, for rats, and left with no other members but rats who were unable to connect with people any more. It was always inevitable that populism would fail when led by billionaires and Old Etonians. The only question is what comes after it. Thanks to Covid-19, the whole world is now being faced with this question. But very few will want to the “new normal”, whatever else it may be, to be run by rats rather than people determined to forget they have ever seen a rat. People need to start smelling a rat too!

[and-then-there-were-n0ne]

Capitalism played a decisive role not only in the rise of modern science, but also in the emergence of European imperialism. And it was European imperialism that created the capitalist credit system in the first place. Of course, credit was not invented in modern Europe. It existed in almost all agricultural societies, and in the early modern period the emergence of European capitalism was closely linked to economic developments in Asia. Remember, too, that until the late eighteenth century, Asia was the world’s economic powerhouse, meaning that Europeans had far less capital at their disposal than the Chinese, Muslims or Indians.

However, in the sociopolitical systems of China, India and the Muslim world, credit played only a secondary role. Merchants and bankers in the markets of Istanbul, Isfahan, Delhi and Beijing may have thought along capitalist lines, but the kings and generals in the palaces and forts tended to despise merchants and mercantile thinking. Most non-European empires of the early modern era were established by great conquerors such as Nurhaci and Nader Shah, or by bureaucratic and military elites as in the Qing and Ottoman empires. Financing wars through taxes and plunder (without making fine distinctions between the two), they owed little to credit systems, and they cared even less about the interests of bankers and investors.

In Europe, on the other hand, kings and generals gradually adopted the mercantile way of thinking, until merchants and bankers became the ruling elite. The European conquest of the world was increasingly financed through credit rather than taxes, and was increasingly directed by capitalists whose main ambition was to receive maximum returns on their investments. The empires built by bankers and merchants in frock coats and top hats defeated the empires built by kings and noblemen in gold clothes and shining armour. The mercantile empires were simply much shrewder in financing their conquests. Nobody wants to pay taxes, but everyone is happy to invest.

In 1484 Christopher Columbus approached the king of Portugal with the proposal that he finance a fleet that would sail westward to find a new trade route to East Asia. Such explorations were a very risky and costly business. A lot of money was needed in order to build ships, buy supplies, and pay sailors and soldiers – and there was no guarantee that the investment would yield a return. The king of Portugal declined.

Like a present-day start-up entrepreneur, Columbus did not give up. He pitched his idea to other potential investors in Italy, France, England, and again in Portugal. Each time he was rejected. He then tried his luck with Ferdinand and Isabella, rulers of newly united Spain. He took on some experienced lobbyists, and with their help he managed to convince Queen Isabella to invest. As every school-child knows, Isabella hit the jackpot. Columbus’ discoveries enabled the Spaniards to conquer America, where they established gold and silver mines as well as sugar and tobacco plantations that enriched the Spanish kings, bankers and merchants beyond their wildest dreams.

A hundred years later, princes and bankers were willing to extend far more credit to Columbus’ successors, and they had more capital at their disposal, thanks to the treasures reaped from America. Equally important, princes and bankers had far more trust in the potential of exploration, and were more willing to part with their money. This was the magic circle of imperial capitalism: credit financed new discoveries; discoveries led to colonies; colonies provided profits; profits built trust; and trust translated into more credit. Nurhaci and Nader Shah ran out of fuel after a few thousand kilometres. Capitalist entrepreneurs only increased their financial momentum from conquest to conquest.

But these expeditions remained chancy affairs, so credit markets nevertheless remained quite cautious. Many expeditions returned to Europe empty-handed, having discovered nothing of value. The English, for instance, wasted a lot of capital in fruitless attempts to discover a north-western passage to Asia through the Arctic. Many other expeditions didn’t return at all. Ships hit icebergs, foundered in tropical storms, or fell victim to pirates.

In order to increase the number of potential investors and reduce the risk they incurred, Europeans turned to limited liability joint-stock companies. Instead of a single investor betting all his money on a single rickety ship, the joint-stock company collected money from a large number of investors, each risking only a small portion of his capital. The risks were thereby curtailed, but no cap was placed on the profits. Even a small investment in the right ship could turn you into a millionaire.

Decade by decade, western Europe witnessed the development of a sophisticated financial system that could raise large amounts of credit on short notice and put it at the disposal of private entrepreneurs and governments. This system could finance explorations and conquests far more efficiently than any kingdom or empire. The new-found power of credit can be seen in the bitter struggle between Spain and the Netherlands.

In the sixteenth century, Spain was the most powerful state in Europe, holding sway over a vast global empire. It ruled much of Europe, huge chunks of North and South America, the Philippine Islands, and a string of bases along the coasts of Africa and Asia. Every year, fleets heavy with American and Asian treasures returned to the ports of Seville and Cadiz. The Netherlands was a small and windy swamp, devoid of natural resources, a small corner of the king of Spain’s dominions.

In 1568 the Dutch, who were mainly Protestant, revolted against their Catholic Spanish overlord. At first the rebels seemed to play the role of Don Quixote, courageously tilting at invincible windmills. Yet within eighty years the Dutch had not only secured their independence from Spain, but had managed to replace the Spaniards and their Portuguese allies as masters of the ocean highways, build a global Dutch empire, and become the richest state in Europe.

The secret of Dutch success was credit. The Dutch burghers, who had little taste for combat on land, hired mercenary armies to fight the Spanish for them. The Dutch themselves meanwhile took to the sea in ever-larger fleets. Mercenary armies and cannon-brandishing fleets cost a fortune, but the Dutch were able to finance their military expeditions more easily than the mighty Spanish Empire because they secured the trust of the burgeoning European financial system at a time when the Spanish king was carelessly eroding its trust in him. Financiers extended the Dutch enough credit to set up armies and fleets, and these armies and fleets gave the Dutch control of world trade routes, which in turn yielded handsome profits. The profits allowed the Dutch to repay the loans, which strengthened the trust of the financiers. Amsterdam was fast becoming not only one of the most important ports of Europe, but also the continent’s financial Mecca.

How exactly did the Dutch win the trust of the financial system? Firstly, they were sticklers about repaying their loans on time and in full, making the extension of credit less risky for lenders. Secondly, their country’s judicial system enjoyed independence and protected private rights – in particular private property rights. Capital trickles away from dictatorial states that fail to defend private individuals and their property. Instead, it flows into states upholding the rule of law and private property.

Imagine that you are the son of a solid family of German financiers. Your father sees an opportunity to expand the business by opening branches in major European cities. He sends you to Amsterdam and your younger brother to Madrid, giving you each 10,000 gold coins to invest. Your brother lends his start-up capital at interest to the king of Spain, who needs it to raise an army to fight the king of France. You decide to lend yours to a Dutch merchant, who wants to invest in scrubland on the southern end of a desolate island called Manhattan, certain that property values there will skyrocket as the Hudson River turns into a major trade artery. Both loans are to be repaid within a year.

The year passes. The Dutch merchant sells the land he’s bought at a handsome markup and repays your money with the interest he promised. Your father is pleased. But your little brother in Madrid is getting nervous. The war with France ended well for the king of Spain, but he has now embroiled himself in a conflict with the Turks. He needs every penny to finance the new war, and thinks this is far more important than repaying old debts. Your brother sends letters to the palace and asks friends with connections at court to intercede, but to no avail. Not only has your brother not earned the promised interest – he’s lost the principal. Your father is not pleased.

Now, to make matters worse, the king sends a treasury official to your brother to tell him, in no uncertain terms, that he expects to receive another loan of the same size, forthwith. Your brother has no money to lend. He writes home to Dad, trying to persuade him that this time the king will come through. The paterfamilias has a soft spot for his youngest, and agrees with a heavy heart. Another 10,000 gold coins disappear into the Spanish treasury, never to be seen again. Meanwhile in Amsterdam, things are looking bright. You make more and more loans to enterprising Dutch merchants, who repay them promptly and in full. But your luck does not hold indefinitely. One of your usual clients has a hunch that wooden clogs are going to be the next fashion craze in Paris, and asks you for a loan to set up a footwear emporium in the French capital. You lend him the money, but unfortunately the clogs don’t catch on with the French ladies, and the disgruntled merchant refuses to repay the loan.

Your father is furious, and tells both of you it is time to unleash the lawyers. Your brother files suit in Madrid against the Spanish monarch, while you file suit in Amsterdam against the erstwhile wooden-shoe wizard. In Spain, the law courts are subservient to the king – the judges serve at his pleasure and fear punishment if they do not do his will. In the Netherlands, the courts are a separate branch of government, not dependent on the country’s burghers and princes. The court in Madrid throws out your brother’s suit, while the court in Amsterdam finds in your favour and puts a lien on the clog-merchant’s assets to force him to pay up. Your father has learned his lesson. Better to do business with merchants than with kings, and better to do it in Holland than in Madrid.

And your brother’s travails are not over. The king of Spain desperately needs more money to pay his army. He’s sure that your father has cash to spare. So he brings trumped-up treason charges against your brother. If he doesn’t come up with 20,000 gold coins forthwith, he’ll get cast into a dungeon and rot there until he dies.

Your father has had enough. He pays the ransom for his beloved son, but swears never to do business in Spain again. He closes his Madrid branch and relocates your brother to Rotterdam. Two branches in Holland now look like a really good idea. He hears that even Spanish capitalists are smuggling their fortunes out of their country. They, too, realise that if they want to keep their money and use it to gain more wealth, they are better off investing it where the rule of law prevails and where private property is respected – in the Netherlands, for example.

In such ways did the king of Spain squander the trust of investors at the same time that Dutch merchants gained their confidence. And it was the Dutch merchants – not the Dutch state – who built the Dutch Empire. The king of Spain kept on trying to finance and maintain his conquests by raising unpopular taxes from a disgruntled populace. The Dutch merchants financed conquest by getting loans, and increasingly also by selling shares in their companies that entitled their holders to receive a portion of the company’s profits. Cautious investors who would never have given their money to the king of Spain, and who would have thought twice before extending credit to the Dutch government, happily invested fortunes in the Dutch joint-stock companies that were the mainstay of the new empire.

If you thought a company was going to make a big profit but it had already sold all its shares, you could buy some from people who owned them, probably for a higher price than they originally paid. If you bought shares and later discovered that the company was in dire straits, you could try to unload your stock for a lower price. The resulting trade in company shares led to the establishment in most major European cities of stock exchanges, places where the shares of companies were traded.

The most famous Dutch joint-stock company, the Vereenigde Oostindische Compagnie, or VOC for short, was chartered in 1602, just as the Dutch were throwing off Spanish rule and the boom of Spanish artillery could still be heard not far from Amsterdam’s ramparts. VOC used the money it raised from selling shares to build ships, send them to Asia, and bring back Chinese, Indian and Indonesian goods. It also financed military actions taken by company ships against competitors and pirates. Eventually VOC money financed the conquest of Indonesia.

Indonesia is the world’s biggest archipelago. Its thousands upon thousands of islands were ruled in the early seventeenth century by hundreds of kingdoms, principalities, sultanates and tribes. When VOC merchants first arrived in Indonesia in 1603, their aims were strictly commercial. However, in order to secure their commercial interests and maximise the profits of the shareholders, VOC merchants began to fight against local potentates who charged inflated tariffs, as well as against European competitors. VOC armed its merchant ships with cannons; it recruited European, Japanese, Indian and Indonesian mercenaries; and it built forts and conducted full-scale battles and sieges. This enterprise may sound a little strange to us, but in the early modern age it was common for private companies to hire not only soldiers, but also generals and admirals, cannons and ships, and even entire off-the-shelf armies. The international community took this for granted and didn’t raise an eyebrow when a private company established an empire.

Island after island fell to VOC mercenaries and a large part of Indonesia became a VOC colony. VOC ruled Indonesia for close to 200 years. Only in 1800 did the Dutch state assume control of Indonesia, making it a Dutch national colony for the following 150 years. Today some people warn that twenty-first-century corporations are accumulating too much power. Early modern history shows just how far that can go if businesses are allowed to pursue their self-interest unchecked.

While VOC operated in the Indian Ocean, the Dutch West Indies Company, or WIC, plied the Atlantic. In order to control trade on the important Hudson River, WIC built a settlement called New Amsterdam on an island at the river’s mouth. The colony was threatened by Native-Americans and repeatedly attacked by the British, who eventually captured it in 1664. The British changed its name to New York. The remains of the wall built by WIC to defend its colony against Native-Americans and British are today paved over by the world’s most famous street – Wall Street.

As the seventeenth century wound to an end, complacency and costly continental wars caused the Dutch to lose not only New York, but also their place as Europe’s financial and imperial engine. The vacancy was hotly contested by France and Britain. At first France seemed to be in a far stronger position. It was bigger than Britain, richer, more populous, and it possessed a larger and more experienced army. Yet Britain managed to win the trust of the financial system whereas France proved itself unworthy. The behaviour of the French crown was particularly notorious during what was called the Mississippi Bubble, the largest financial crisis of eighteenth-century Europe. That story also begins with an empire-building joint-stock company.

In 1717 the Mississippi Company, chartered in France, set out to colonise the lower Mississippi valley, establishing the city of New Orleans in the process. To finance its ambitious plans, the company, which had good connections at the court of King Louis XV, sold shares on the Paris stock exchange. John Law, the company’s director, was also the governor of the central bank of France. Furthermore, the king had appointed him controller-general of finances, an office roughly equivalent to that of a modern finance minister. In 1717 the lower Mississippi valley offered few attractions besides swamps and alligators, yet the Mississippi Company spread tales of fabulous riches and boundless opportunities. French aristocrats, businessmen and the stolid members of the urban bourgeoisie fell for these fantasies, and Mississippi share prices skyrocketed. Initially, shares were offered at 500 livres apiece. On 1 August 1719, shares traded at 2,750 livres. By 30 August, they were worth 4,100 livres, and on 4 September, they reached 5,000 livres. On 2 December the price of a Mississippi share crossed the threshold of 10,000 livres. Euphoria swept the streets of Paris. People sold all their possessions and took huge loans in order to buy Mississippi shares. Everybody believed they’d discovered the easy way to riches.

A few days later, the panic began. Some speculators realised that the share prices were totally unrealistic and unsustainable. They figured that they had better sell while stock prices were at their peak. As the supply of shares available rose, their price declined. When other investors saw the price going down, they also wanted to get out quick. The stock price plummeted further, setting off an avalanche. In order to stabilise prices, the central bank of France – at the direction of its governor, John Law – bought up Mississippi shares, but it could not do so for ever. Eventually it ran out of money. When this happened, the controller-general of finances, the same John Law, authorised the printing of more money in order to buy additional shares. This placed the entire French financial system inside the bubble. And not even this financial wizardry could save the day. The price of Mississippi shares dropped from 10,000 livres back to 1,000 livres, and then collapsed completely, and the shares lost every sou of their worth. By now, the central bank and the royal treasury owned a huge amount of worthless stock and had no money. The big speculators emerged largely unscathed – they had sold in time. Small investors lost everything, and many committed suicide.

The Mississippi Bubble was one of history’s most spectacular financial crashes. The royal French financial system never recuperated fully from the blow. The way in which the Mississippi Company used its political clout to manipulate share prices and fuel the buying frenzy caused the public to lose faith in the French banking system and in the financial wisdom of the French king. Louis XV found it more and more difficult to raise credit. This became one of the chief reasons that the overseas French Empire fell into British hands. While the British could borrow money easily and at low-interest rates, France had difficulties securing loans, and had to pay high interest on them. In order to finance his growing debts, the king of France borrowed more and more money at higher and higher interest rates. Eventually, in the 1780s, Louis XVI, who had ascended to the throne on his grandfather’s death, realised that half his annual budget was tied to servicing the interest on his loans, and that he was heading towards bankruptcy. Reluctantly, in 1789, Louis XVI convened the Estates General, the French parliament that had not met for a century and a half, in order to find a solution to the crisis. Thus began the French Revolution.

While the French overseas empire was crumbling, the British Empire was expanding rapidly. Like the Dutch Empire before it, the British Empire was established and run largely by private joint-stock companies based in the London stock exchange. The first English settlements in North America were established in the early seventeenth century by joint-stock companies such as the London Company, the Plymouth Company, the Dorchester Company and the Massachusetts Company.

The Indian subcontinent too was conquered not by the British state, but by the mercenary army of the British East India Company. This company outperformed even the VOC. From its headquarters in Leadenhall Street, London, it ruled a mighty Indian empire for about a century, maintaining a huge military force of up to 350,000 soldiers, considerably outnumbering the armed forces of the British monarchy. Only in 1858 did the British crown nationalize India along with the company’s private army. Napoleon made fun of the British, calling them a nation of shopkeepers. Yet these shopkeepers defeated Napoleon himself, and their empire was the largest the world has ever seen.

- Yuval Noah Harari, Columbus Searches for an Investor in Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Moon’s Other Gospel of Sex Rituals to “Womb Cleanse”

Author Ruth A. Tucker (PhD, Northern Illinois University) has taught mission studies and church history at Trinity Evangelical Divinity School and Calvin Theological Seminary. She is the author of dozens of articles and eighteen books. Here is an extract from Another Gospel: Cults, Alternative Religions, and the New Age Movement.

▲ Myung-hee Kim with whom Moon had an illegitimate child (Hee-jin Moon born in Tokyo in August 1955) while he was still married to his first wife, Seon-gil Choi. Choi could not endure Moon’s many sexual relationships and divorced Moon on January 8, 1957. In a 1993 interview Seon-gil Choi said: “My husband made relationships one after another by deceiving those women. I kept thinking that I couldn’t bear such a life any longer – so this was the reason for my divorce.” LINK

▲ Myung-hee Kim with Hee-jin after their return to Korea in late 1959. Moon took him away from his mother.

The Unification Church: Accusations of immorality from pages 249-250 of Ruth A. Tucker’s book:

“From the very beginning the movement was shrouded in controversy.… Moon’s critics argue that Moon’s church activities involved more than developing new doctrine—that according to a newspaper account. “A third jailing in 1955 reportedly was for ‘causing social disorder’ and having bad morals stemming from ritual sex with women in his church.” Followers of Moon strongly deny such allegations, claiming that Moon was arrested for draft evasion and later acquitted of the charges. [The church produced a fake certificate of innocence.] The accusation of practicing the ritual of pikareum (“cleansing of the blood”) was specifically the charge that “Moon purportedly performed intercourse with each female initiate to purify her of the pollution she had inherited from Eve.” So widely believed was the charge that “the Korean National Council of Churches, representing various mainline Christian denominations, condemned the movement and refused it membership.” The accusations of practicing ritual sex rites are the most devastating charges lodged against Moon during his earIy ministry. Are they warranted, or were they simply fabricated by enemies? Sontag rightly points out that “Every strong religious leader has been charged with sexual irregularities. Such stories surround Jesus too and survive in the early literature.” Yet, the accusations against Moon were made in many cases by reputable individuals. A Presbyterian minister in Seoul [Rev. Won Il Chei] gave the following testimony: “If we believe those who have gone into the group and come out, they say that one has to receive Sun Myung Moon’s blood to receive salvation. That blood is ordinarily received by three periods of sexual intercourse. But this fact they themselves keep absolutely secret.”

While such stories may be scurrilous lies, critics argue that they are made more believable within the context of Unification theology. A one-time supporter of Moon made the following observations of the sex allegations: It is entirely possible that those sexual rituals were a part of the early church in Korea. Since original sin came through the woman’s [Eve’s] intercourse with Lucifer through which she received his evil characteristics, it is perfectly logical that the reversal of this, woman’s intercourse with the perfect man through which she could receive his perfect characteristics, would liquidate original sin. Then, as Adam received Satan’s evil characteristics from Eve through intercourse, so man would receive perfect characteristics through intercourse with the woman. In 1960 Moon married again—some say for the fourth time. His new bride was Hak Ja Han, an eighteen-year-old follower who was less than half his age. That marriage is referred to as “the Marriage of the Lamb.” and through it, the couple became the Father and the Mother “of the universe.” Han, according to Moon, had been preparing for this role since the age of four, at which time she was blessed by a Korean mystic. “Being so young at the time, she did not remember the experience. But Moon was aware of it from the moment he met her.” Moon’s own marriage would reverse the sin of Adam and Eve that had infected all mankind.

According to Robert Boettcher: Once the vows of matrimony were exchanged, Moon as Perfect Adam could not let himself fall into the same trap as the first Adam. He “snatched her out of the Satanic world” and taught her to obey. Since Adam fell by being dominated by Eve, he had to reverse the precedent by achieving complete domination over his wife. Obedience training went from formation to growth and perfection, to the point where, after three years, he says, she would sacrifice her life if he so ordered.”

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A letter from the Church of the Nazarene in Seoul, reproduced on pages 9-11 of an October 1975 FBI Report (San Francisco office) gives an interesting summary of the official and the unofficial theology of the Unification Church.

The letter indicates that he has divorced three wives having had one child by each of them. He was accused in 1955 of conducting a group sex orgie… The letter alleges that actually Moon borrowed his doctrines from those taught at the Monastery of Israel [of Kim Baek-moon].

The letter additionally states that the group also secretly observes such other beliefs [besides what was registered with the authorities] and practices as the following:

1) Founder Moon is the Second Advent Jesus.

2) A believer receives a spiritual body by participating in a ceremony known as blood cleansing which is for women to have sexual intercourse with Moon and for men to have intercourse with such a woman. This idea of blood cleansing comes from the teaching that Eve committed immorality with the Serpent and she passes on to all of us serpent blood.

3) Secretly observed doctrines are Holy covenant and are of more value than the Bible.

4) Members who have experienced blood cleansing can produce sinless generation [children].

5) Founder Moon is sinless.

FBI and other reports on Sun Myung Moon

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Newspaper report in the Dong-A Ilbo Seoul daily dated July 7, 1955. Sun Myung Moon had been arrested on July 4, 1955.

HE POSED AS THE SON OF GOD There are many women who have been sexually abused. The behavior of Moon, the leader of the Unification Church, attracts attention.

◊ Indoctrination methods – New recruits have to listen to sermons about the teachings of the religion for 72 hours (three full days). The sermons are given by Church Leader Mr. Moon. The weekly lectures on Mr Moon’s doctrines start at 10 in the morning on a Monday and run until 10 in the morning on a Thursday. If anyone doubts the teachings and wants to leave, Church Leader Mr. Moon stops them from leaving by sternly saying, “If you leave, you will die.” Mr. Moon also says, “Koreans are the people chosen by God and Pyongyang is the Jerusalem of the world.” He preaches that he is the son of God, and if a woman has a sexual relationship with him, she will give birth to a world teacher [a messiah].

◊ The behavior of a man who hunts women (a sexual predator) – Mr. Moon is an eloquent speaker. They say that when he finds women who truly believe in him, he entices them into his abode (a single room inside the said Association building) and violates them. Four victims have been identified and these women are middle-aged (over 30 years of age) with husbands. Their families are above middle class. One of them is a Mrs. Kim Soon-chang (not her real name), aged 36. She was a decent well-to-do upper class housewife, but after she fell prey to Church Leader Mr. Moon’s offerings she experienced the fate of being abandoned by her husband. …

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A news item was broadcast on Japanese national TV in the fall of 1993 at the time The Tragedy of the Six Marys book was launched. The news item was well researched and put together. There of the important contributors to the book were interviewed, and the 1955 sex scandal at the Ewha Womans University in Seoul was also covered. The text below is an extract from a new translation of the full Japanese transcript.

Full transcript: ‘The Tragedy of the Six Marys’ video transcript

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Moon: “A person is born through a man’s seed going into a woman. Where does the way of reversal begin? It is within the woman’s womb. The condition must be established so that history is reversed in the womb. For complete restoration, the starting point is the seed which exists in the body of a male. The condition must be established in which the seed within a male is united with God’s love. Without establishing that condition, complete reversal of the blood lineage cannot be established.” Sun Myung Moon (October 13, 1970, Seoul)

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Taught at a Family Federation for World Peace and Unification workshop:

“The Purpose of God’s Providence of Salvation is to end the journey of God’s sperm.”

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Moon’s Theology of the Fall, Tamar, Jesus and Mary

FBI Report on the Summary of the Official and Unofficial Theology of the UC

Chung-hwa Pak interviewed about Moon’s “SEX relays”

Moon’s theology for his pikareum sex rituals with all the 36 wives

Sun Myung Moon – Restoration through Incest

How “God’s Day” was established on January 1, 1968

Naked dancers join the UC in 1955 by Gil Ja Sa Eu

Sun Myung Moon and the FFWPU is unequivocally not Christian

[demytasse]

[Shizaya] Of Pleas and Boredom - Ch 1

Summary: Two sides of the same tragedy; what boredom and the fear of being left behind can do to a relationship that was built from thrills and high tension. A bittersweet, established relationship fic to which Izaya and Shizuo actively fuck things up out of desperation. (Previous Chapters)

You drive me... a faulty wheel to which you forfeit; tread me a weary path that you love to fumble.

...make me... a cardinal sin to which you frequent; claim me a novel bore that you hate to fixate.

...wear me... a moral crime of that you fashion; accuse me a guilty deed that you write as fiction. But — Don’t create me... a pity loss to which you fancy; dub me a boring muse you force to forget. Please — Don’t tire of me... a healthy flame to which you see feeble; view us a heat-less fire you fear to foster.

    "...and Shizu-chan, you wouldn’t believe the grand finale! And here I thought it was a lost cause!”

A solo conversation for two ran in fast forward. It was an afternoon of hyperbolic proportion, one that starred the master of monologue — a dancer who jumped tangents just as quick as he landed, to whom barely left pause for dramatic effect let alone a breath to regain his strength, his gusto provided by the thrill of the moment.

Once desperate to keep pace with Izaya, Shizuo relinquished his attention in attempt to make sense of multiple stories that criss-crossed paths. He cleared his eyes of glaze and attempted to do the same of his comprehension.

    Shizuo stammered his response, “which forum was this?"

The way his mind referenced notes in a scurry transformed him into a student caught off guard — Izaya, the mad professor dissolved his excitement mid-lecture. His animated gestures fell in a way that told of his unconscious prediction coming to fruition. It was a sight Shizuo hated to see let alone count the rise in frequency; just as well as he despised to be the cause of it.

    "Ah, it’s okay. I didn't expect you to keep up."  

    Flashed fever clammed his skin — a drop of sweat rolled down his spine, "I can keep up just fine, flea!”

With immediacy, the pest took up a feigned task, his eyes flit over lines of text as fingertips skated the phone screen. It was his brutal way of showing disgust; replacement of one disconnect with another, tit-for-tat for those unable to share his exercise of intelligence.

Shizuo grumbled; he knew of that audacious play quite well, to which Izaya brandished his petulance like a child just to swing it haphazardly.

    “Seems like a different one than yesterday, is all."

    "Oh, that's because it is.”

    “Hu?”

    “Honestly, I was only there for Momo-chan."  

    "She's…” he paused to grab the right wording, “not there anymore?"

    "Well it’d certainly be troublesome for her not to be,” Izaya chuckled emptily. “She is the admin, right?”

Shizuo nodded though couldn’t tell if he actually recalled it or if he never knew the detail in the first place.

He followed the arc of Izaya’s tossed phone, perceptively read the other’s tired disappointment over something specific. That’s what he’d found of that particular sigh and that sigh was something of a forecast. Izaya wasn't the only one keen of the other's idiosyncrasies, though Shizuo wasn't a braggart.

    “She was dragging on my every nerve. Constantly asking for more advice, more tips, more this, more that... The forum’s popularity boomed just like she wanted,” he mocked an explosion with flayed fingers.     “Just as she begged me to help her achieve. Though was she prepared to handle the duties of being an admin?” He answered his rhetorical question with a huff.

Even though Izaya tiptoed the edge of vehemence, he paid the memory disinterest. Normally he quaffed let-downs like a drug and this time was no different. He reaped whatever benefit he could: appreciated a rise of any kind. It was cheap ecstasy.

Shizuo frowned upon Izaya for his committed sin.

    “I was running her forum while she floundered. So I told her it was a sign she wasn’t cut out for it.”     His tone grew chill, ”the truth shouldn't warrant her calling me a bastard, but as a favour I let her scream to her heart's content in PM before I dropped the account.”

    "You lost interest in her that quickly?”

    “I suppose.”

    “You’re okay with cutting someone out after chatting with them for months?" Shizuo’s nerves ran frantic with a chip in his voice.

It was that ever-lurking boredom that clung to Izaya that reared its fearsome head — yet again, Shizuo lamented.

    "I wouldn’t consider six weeks months. What illogical mathematics do monsters practice?”

    No sooner he insulted, Izaya squashed what inspired Shizuo’s twitch of anger that rose beyond his instinct. “But to continue that thought, yes, I would.”

    “Why?”

The air struggled to support the hefty stall. Izaya appeared to suss if it was a serious question, though Shizuo meant it a plea for the selfishly cut tie to be reconsidered; to believe he himself wouldn't meet a similar fate.

    “I was being saddled with a project I couldn't afford. People are supposed to grow once I assist them, Shizu-chan. At the very least they should have interest in themselves."

Izaya idly snipped his fingers in the air like scissors, his eyes focused on a thought already distant. As the exhaustion set in, he slowed his pantomime. Weariness draped his eyes.

Shizuo witnessed that exhaustion sans empathy.

    "How often do you do that?"

    "As often as needed." Izaya’s absent mind responded too quickly.

    "Izaya..."

    "I’m not dodging the question, Shizuo. I just can't give you a solid answer. I love and appreciate people, but...”

Their eyes met at middle ground and Shizuo immediately ached with the pain of Izaya’s constitution that begged for him to reciprocate.

“Have you ever felt yourself gradually lose reasons to talk to someone? The topics you can share quickly diminish?"

"Not really.”

The admittance was a crime and Izaya’s chuckle incarcerated him — exposed without a defense against the accusation Shizuo swallowed nervously.

    “Consider yourself lucky, then. The countless times I’ve watched people fail to uphold their potential is nothing short of… Well, it’s tiring. The injustice individuals pay to the human race is abysmal.”

His charming smile traveled upward, yet his vigor neglected to perform its passionate abandon. Shizuo treasured that of Izaya, that rare joy that would drown anyone within short distance. At no fault of his own he watched a travesty of that raw beauty; though he was stabbed with blame that twisted with guilt, just before it was yanked out to create him a casualty.

Shizuo sickened as his own silence grew deeper while Izaya filled the void with his muse.

    “Relationships are two way streets, and really — truthfully — it's tragic how difficult it is to find those who’ll comply.”

    Izaya’s age caught up to him at once. “I don't enjoy cutting ties with people, Shizu-chan, but it happens. Oh well.”

His youthful air and wise maturity were purposely built strong, yet they were functions of a glass canon. It was rare that anything would get passed his own valued fortitude that he too desperately clung to. Though Izaya stacked the odds in his favour, occasionally something chipped his kayfabe, dramatically destroyed his character that appeared a child, while his years barely counted higher than a teen.

But now he was revealed too old and Shizuo had no means to fathom the leagues that Izaya’s weariness dove.

    “Sorry…”

It soured the sympathy he’d given Izaya, like he offered empty condolences to an immortal whose wonder had disappeared long ago, alongside the people he’d watched leave — one at a time, crushingly the same, indefinitely. Yet that man wielded hope like a rusty weapon to attack his forever depression.

It was a hard belief that they were two beings of separate race — a bumbling human ruled by primal law and a god among no peers burdened by a lack of finality.

And what deity Izaya was went unnoticed by the man himself, though not by the man to whom he fancied at that moment.

Shizuo worried that he was merely a footnote.

Maybe all he was to Izaya was a temporary partner to entertain him before he moved on down his farcical timeline of his deathless life. Maybe he was an interest whose clock was about to tick its last tock and reset once more as a new bore.

    Perhaps…

A novel chirp interrupted their simultaneous, yet separate thoughts.

Shizuo observed the perk in Izaya's aura like he regained his childhood. A new toy he approached with re-awoken wonder as a text message lit his waxen features. The delighted beam snipped attention that was strung to Shizuo; their conversation hung dead.

    “Well that’s certainly a surprise…” a skip to his step, Izaya left the room to pretend himself an informant during a round of make-believe at recess.

He smiled with glee no longer a treat for Shizuo to indulge.

Perhaps, he’d already crossed the threshold of Izaya's boredom. That insecurity had already began to fester, but now it burrowed, rather drilled furiously deeper to take foundation in the gut of his anxiety — Shizuo’s fear attempted to replace his faith that he’d stay connected to Izaya.

    Snip!

He recalled the image of Izaya cutting the tie of that once budding relationship.

    Snip-snip!

The threads began to cut away from their seam. Though sewn tight, Shizuo had so little thread to rely on.

[ucflibrary]

American history is a broad and varied topic. It ranges from the native inhabitants who formed communities here thousands of years ago to the creation of a new nation of states to the dreamers who immigrate to these shores today. It is an enormous amount of information to cover, but it is important that we all learn about our past. As Edmund Burke said in Reflections on the Revolution in France, “Those who don’t know history are destined to repeat it.”

The founders of the United States, beyond their faults and foibles, began this nation with a grand and noble sentiment of “We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity….”

“We the people” is us. Join us this month as we explore our past to help ensure “life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness” applies to us all.

Click on the Read More link to see the full list, descriptions, and catalog links for the featured titles on American History suggested by UCF Library employees. These 24 books plus many more are also on display on the 2nd (main) floor of the John C. Hitt Library next to the bank of two elevators.

11/22/63 by Stephen King On November 22, 1953, three shots rang out in Dallas, President Kennedy died, and the world changed. What if you could change it back? In this brilliantly conceived tour de force, Stephen King—who has absorbed the social, political, and popular culture of his generation more imaginatively and thoroughly than any other writer—takes readers on an incredible journey into the past and the possibility of altering it. Suggested by Kathleen Silva, Libraries Student Ambassador

 A History of the American People by Paul Johnson This challenging narrative and interpretation of American history by the author of many distinguished historical works is sometimes controversial and always provocative. Johnson’s views of individuals, events, themes, and issues are original, critical, and admiring, for he is, above all, a strong believer in the history and the destiny of the American people. Suggested by Allison Hilton, Libraries Student Ambassador

 A Map to the Next World: poetry and tales by Joy Harjo The poet author of The Woman Who Fell from the Sky, and new poet laureate of the U.S., draws on her own Native American heritage in a collection of lyrical poetry that explores the cruelties and tragedies of history and the redeeming miracles of human kindness. Suggested by Jada Reyes, Libraries Student Ambassador

 Alex and Eliza by Melissa De la Cruz In the pages of Alex and Eliza, #1 New York Times bestselling author Melissa de la Cruz brings to life the romance of young Alexander Hamilton and Elizabeth Schuyler. Suggested by Kathleen Silva, Libraries Student Ambassador

 American Canopy: trees, forests, and the making of a nation by Eric Rutkow (UCF Faculty Author) As Eric Rutkow’s brilliant, epic account shows, trees were essential to the early years of the republic and indivisible from the country’s rise as both an empire and a civilization. Among American Canopy’s many fascinating stories: the Liberty Trees, where colonists gathered to plot rebellion against the British; Henry David Thoreau’s famous retreat into the woods; the creation of New York City’s Central Park; the great fire of 1871 that killed a thousand people in the lumber town of Peshtigo, Wisconsin; the fevered attempts to save the American chestnut and the American elm from extinction; and the controversy over spotted owls and the old-growth forests they inhabited. Rutkow also explains how trees were of deep interest to such figures as George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Teddy Roosevelt, and FDR, who oversaw the planting of more than three billion trees nationally in his time as president. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Subject Librarian

 Americans Remember Their Civil War by Barbara A. Gannon (UCF Faculty Author) This book provides readers with an overview of how Americans have commemorated and remembered the Civil War. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Subject Librarian

 Beneath a Ruthless Sun: a true story of violence, race, and justice lost and found by Gilbert King Beneath a Ruthless Sun tells a powerful, page-turning story rooted in the fears that rippled through the South as integration began to take hold, sparking a surge of virulent racism that savaged the vulnerable, debased the powerful, and roils our own times still. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Subject Librarian

 Elizabeth Warren: her fight, her work, her life by Antonia Felix In this breakthrough biography, bestselling author Antonia Felix carries readers from Warren's hardscrabble roots in Norman, Oklahoma, to her career as one of the nation's most distinguished legal scholars and experts on the economics of working Americans. Felix reveals how Warren brought her expertise to Washington to become an icon of progressive politics in a deeply divided nation, and weaves together never-before-told stories from those who have journeyed with Warren from Oklahoma to the halls of power. Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Hamilton: the revolution: being the complete libretto of the Broadway musical, with a true account of its creation, and concise remarks on hip-hop, the power of stories, and the new America by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jeremy McCarter This book gives readers an unprecedented view of both revolutions, from the only two writers able to provide it. Miranda, along with Jeremy McCarter, a cultural critic and theater artist who was involved in the project from its earliest stages and traces its development from an improbable performance at the White House to its landmark opening night on Broadway six years later. In addition, Miranda has written more than 200 funny, revealing footnotes for his award-winning libretto, the full text of which is published here. Suggested by Katie Burroughs, Administration

  Historians on Hamilton: how a blockbuster musical is restaging America's past edited by Renee C. Romano and Claire Bond Potter Historians on Hamilton brings together a collection of top scholars to explain the Hamilton phenomenon and explore what it might mean for our understanding of America’s history. The contributors examine what the musical got right, what it got wrong, and why it matters. Does Hamilton’s hip-hop take on the Founding Fathers misrepresent our nation’s past, or does it offer a bold positive vision for our nation’s future? Can a musical so unabashedly contemporary and deliberately anachronistic still communicate historical truths about American culture and politics? And is Hamilton as revolutionary as its creators and many commentators claim? Suggested by Katie Burroughs, Administration

 John Marshall: the man who made the Supreme Court by Richard Brookhiser In 1801, a genial and brilliant Revolutionary War veteran and politician became the fourth chief justice of the United States. He would hold the post for 34 years (still a record), expounding the Constitution he loved. Before he joined the Supreme Court, it was the weakling of the federal government, lacking in dignity and clout. After he died, it could never be ignored again. Through three decades of dramatic cases involving businessmen, scoundrels, Native Americans, and slaves, Marshall defended the federal government against unruly states, established the Supreme Court's right to rebuke Congress or the president, and unleashed the power of American commerce. For better and for worse, he made the Supreme Court a pillar of American life. Suggested by Larry Cooperman, Research & Information Services

 Lies My Teacher Told Me: Everything Your American History Textbook Got Wrong by James W. Loewen Americans have lost touch with their history, and in Lies My Teacher Told Me Professor James Loewen shows why. After surveying eighteen leading high school American history texts, he has concluded that not one does a decent job of making history interesting or memorable. Marred by an embarrassing combination of blind patriotism, mindless optimism, sheer misinformation, and outright lies, these books omit almost all the ambiguity, passion, conflict, and drama from our past. Suggested by Emily Parente, Libraries Student Ambassador

 My Own Words by Ruth Bader Ginsburg with Mary Hartnett and Wendy W. Williams In this collection Justice Ginsburg discusses gender equality, the workings of the Supreme Court, being Jewish, law and lawyers in opera, and the value of looking beyond US shores when interpreting the US Constitution. Throughout her life Justice Ginsburg has been (and continues to be) a prolific writer and public speaker. This book’s sampling is selected by Justice Ginsburg and her authorized biographers Mary Hartnett and Wendy W. Williams, who introduce each chapter and provide biographical context and quotes gleaned from hundreds of interviews they have conducted. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 News for all the people: the epic story of race and the American media by Juan Gonzlez and Joseph Torres From colonial newspapers to the Internet age, America’s racial divisions have played a central role in the creation of the country’s media system, just as the media has contributed to—and every so often, combated—racial oppression. This acclaimed book reveals how racial segregation distorted the information Americans have received, even as it depicts the struggle of Black, Latino, Asian, and Native American journalists who fought to create a vibrant yet little-known alternative, democratic press. Suggested by Jada Reyes, Libraries Student Ambassador

 Shade: a tale of two presidents by Pete Souza Shade is a portrait in Presidential contrasts, telling the tale of the Obama and Trump administrations through a series of visual juxtapositions. Here, more than one hundred of Souza's unforgettable images of President Obama deliver new power and meaning when framed by the tweets, news headlines, and quotes that defined the first 500 days of the Trump White House. Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services

 Team of Rivals: the political genius of Abraham Lincoln by Doris Kearns Goodwin Acclaimed historian Doris Kearns Goodwin illuminates Lincoln's political genius in this highly original work, as the one-term congressman and prairie lawyer rises from obscurity to prevail over three gifted rivals of national reputation to become president. Suggested by Joan Reynolds, Interlibrary Loan & Document Delivery Services

 The Book that Changed America: how Darwin's theory of evolution ignited a nation by Randall Fuller Creating a rich tableau of nineteenth-century American intellectual culture, as well as providing a fascinating biography of perhaps the single most important idea of that time, The Book That Changed America is also an account of issues and concerns still with us today, including racism and the enduring conflict between science and religion. Suggested by Christina Wray, Teaching & Engagement

 The Breakthrough: Politics and Race in the Age of Obama by Gwen Ifill Veteran journalist Gwen Ifill surveys the American political landscape, shedding new light on the impact of Barack Obama’s stunning presidential victory and introducing the emerging young African American politicians forging a bold new path to political power. Suggested by Sandy Avila, Research & Information Services

 The Devil in the White City: murder, magic, and madness at the fair that changed America by Erik Larson Erik Larson—author of #1 bestseller In the Garden of Beasts—intertwines the true tale of the 1893 World's Fair and the cunning serial killer who used the fair to lure his victims to their death. Combining meticulous research with nail-biting storytelling, Erik Larson has crafted a narrative with all the wonder of newly discovered history and the thrills of the best fiction. Suggested by Rachel Edford, Teaching & Engagement

 The Dictionary Wars: the American fight over the English language by Peter Martin Peter Martin recounts the patriotic fervor in the early American republic to produce a definitive national dictionary that would rival Samuel Johnson’s 1755 Dictionary of the English Language. But what began as a cultural war of independence from Britain devolved into a battle among lexicographers, authors, scholars, and publishers, all vying for dictionary supremacy and shattering forever the dream of a unified American language. Suggested by Christina Wray, Teaching & Engagement

 The Field of Blood: violence in Congress and the road to civil war by Joanne B. Freeman Joanne B. Freeman recovers the long-lost story of physical violence on the floor of the U.S. Congress. Drawing on an extraordinary range of sources, she shows that the Capitol was rife with conflict in the decades before the Civil War. Legislative sessions were often punctuated by mortal threats, canings, flipped desks, and all-out slugfests. When debate broke down, congressmen drew pistols and waved Bowie knives. One representative even killed another in a duel. Many were beaten and bullied in an attempt to intimidate them into compliance, particularly on the issue of slavery. Suggested by Richard Harrison, Subject Librarian

The Law by Frederic Bastiat The Law was originally published as a pamphlet in 1850 by Frederic Bastiat (1801-1850). Bastiat wrote most of his work in the few years before and after the French Revolution of 1848. The Law is considered a classic and his ideas are still relevant today. The essay was published in French in 1850. Suggested by Allison Hilton, Libraries Student Ambassador

The Truths We Hold: an American journey by Kamala Harris By reckoning with the big challenges we face together, drawing on the hard-won wisdom and insight from her own career and the work of those who have most inspired her, Kamala Harris offers a master class in problem solving, in crisis management, and leadership in challenging times. Through the arc of her own life, on into the great work of our day, she communicates a vision of shared struggle, shared purpose, and shared values. In a book rich in many home truths, not least is that a relatively small number of people work very hard to convince a great many of us that we have less in common than we actually do, but it falls to us to look past them and get on with the good work of living our common truth. When we do, our shared effort will continue to sustain us and this great nation, now and in the years to come. Suggested by Megan Haught, Teaching & Engagement/Research & Information Services

Where the Crawdads Sing by Delia Owens Perfect for fans of Barbara Kingsolver and Karen Russell, Where the Crawdads Sing is at once an exquisite ode to the natural world, a heartbreaking coming-of-age story, and a surprising tale of possible murder. Owens reminds us that we are forever shaped by the children we once were, and that we are all subject to the beautiful and violent secrets that nature keeps. Suggested by Emily Parente, Libraries Student Ambassador

[cannonimages-blog]

Joe

     “I love ya man”      Me? I asked myself in silence. Who sent you here? I felt so afraid, receiving this sensation. Was I valued enough, for someone to send an unknown guardian? Who knew, that such reassurance was needed from a stranger, elevating my spirit and lifting me from this melancholy, depression.    The first time I saw Joe he was laying in a doorway and it was the winter of 1977-78. I had just begun my first day in barbering school, Cincinnati’s “Over-the-Rhine.” He laid there like a piece of gum that society had chewed up and spit out. Only to be trampled upon and embedded into the concrete. The clothes he wore barely fit enough to keep him warm, his shirt stuck out past the shrunken and frayed wool jacket. Through the spilt seam on the rear of his pants, his underwear revealed while he curled up on an old piece of cardboard.  I just had turned seventeen and never in my life have I witnessed such a desolate individual. After all, he probably deserved the situation he was in, just plain lazy or drunk. I thought it was ironic to watch a wino urinate in a garbage can, and then later, see another person search for something to eat from the same container.     There were two areas in the school, a junior and senior side. The senior side charged for services, seventy-five cents for a haircut, and fifty-cents for a shave. On The junior side where all began, haircuts and shaves were generally free. An instructor would grasp a homeless individual off the street and offer a free service, or, sometimes they would just walk in. They all received the same haircut on the junior side; you would take a burr clipper and just buzz the hair down. “Just like shearing sheep on the way to the slaughter house,” one of my instructors would boast. (The owner, wife and son were very courteous to the homeless; they also owned a little grocery store up the block, Albert’s.) These people were so filthy. They had not bathed nor had their hair washed in months. The clippers would clog up with the accumulated dandruff and scabs in the waxy-coated hair. We always had to check for bleeding sores and head lice before we could start cutting. Joe stumbled in that day and pointed to his head.   “You’re up Tim,” an instructor impatiently yelled. I motioned for Joe to come over; he released a deep drowning moan as he sat down. Oh, the body odor, I will never forget the scent. He smelled like bacon grease and cigarettes, while his breath stunk of alcohol and rotting teeth. Not at all greeting him,  I threw the haircloth around him and prepared my clippers. As I looked into the mirror, his features began to soften as the tiny droplets of frost and sinus drainage started to melt away from his beard and mustache. Joe removed the tattered beanie cap and his matted down hair revealed the years of tangled memories. I really do not remember if I asked what kind of haircut Joe wanted, he was just a subject and it was a free service. I only knew how to give a burr. I turned on the clippers and proceeded to mow his hair right down the middle.   “Naah” Joe’s voice garbled while motioning his hands.      “He just wants a little off all over, just a trim,” my instructor smirked.   “I’m so sorry,” I told him. This was my first real lesson in humility. (I later learned that people living on the streets keep their hair longer for warmth in the winter.)

I felt so embarrassed; I hurried to finish the haircut and trimmed his beard. I took the haircloth off and lowered the barber chair. Joe slowly lifted his body up from the seat, came over to me and patted me on the back as he spoke, and it sounded like “It’s O.K.”  For the next few days whenever Joe walked past the huge display window, he would stop, knock on the glass, take off his beanie cap, point to his hair, and smile. In that simple act of forgiveness, Joe had started to become a human to me.

     It was so cold outside, business was slow, and students were standing around waiting and talking. Just then, the door flew open, Joe came in with two other individuals. It was obvious they had been drinking. They were getting a little too friendly and begging for money; I think they just wanted to get warm. Joe was not saying too much as he stood there in a bewildered stupor. To my disbelief, one of the instructors came over and started aggressively shoving them out the door. Joe stumbled and fell to the floor. The instructor started repeatedly kicking Joe telling him to “Get out and stay out. ” I ran over, pushed the instructor out of the way, and I told him what an ass he was. Joe was bleeding from the nose. I helped him to his feet and sent him on his way. That day, Joe finally became human to me.    Soon after, I was on the way to the Bank Café for lunch. Joe was again standing outside begging for money. He asked for some change, and I knew he wanted it for a drink or did I? Therefore, I offered to buy him some lunch. He took the offer and we both ordered the soup and sandwich special. His whole persona opened up to me while we ate. Soup would drip as his trembling hand lifted the spoon, his fingers stained yellow by the years of smoking. While I thought Joe was always drunk, I became aware that he suffered mental problems; his speech was a little hard to understand at times. While I have seen him passing the bottle; was I to judge what he wanted money for? I probably would drink a little wine myself to escape isolation and misery.

Joe was asking for money on afternoon, so instead I offered him a warm lunch, my treat. I learned through my conversation with Joe that when came back from the Vietnam War, his wife had left him. His parents had died a while ago and with no other family, Joe had fallen into a severe depression. He drifted around and ended here in Cincinnati. He did migratory farm labor to earn money, only to lose it on alcohol, gambling, being beaten and robbed. I asked Joe why he did not receive his Veterans benefits. At this point, he shrugged, and seemed not to really even care. (You need an established permanent address to receive any type of aid. Though I doubt Joe could mentally calculate finances anymore.)  He loved baseball and kept repeating, “those Cincinnati Reds.” I left Joe sitting there at the bar when we were finished with lunch. After all, today he was a paying customer and Joe could stay warm a little while longer. Joe asked if I had a pen, which I did. I gave it to him and he just started scribbling on a napkin. Maybe a long lost note to home. I graduated from Barbering School and left Over the Rhine, and Joe.

Many years latter I volunteered with The Sisters of the Poor, in the same area where I went to barbering school, giving free haircuts for those in need.

I was walking downtown one day, and low on self-esteem. My life had taken a complete spin in terms of health, employment and finances. (I was in a bad auto accident, a heart attack, self-employed and had to close our business, and suffered nerve damage from an accident) How could I keep working? Am I not a man anymore? As I drifted along bewildered, I heard, “I love ya, man.” My feelings transformed as I turned and saw a man leaning against a building panhandling. It was Joe! (this is true) I walked over and put what I had in his cup. I told Joe that I remembered him from many years ago, yet, he did not recognize me. Or did he? We shook hands and gave a hug, as our lives touched once again. That day Joe became an angel, a guardian?   Through volunteering, cutting the hair of the homeless, my wife and I have met many Joe’s in life. They all share a common thread, being human. How many Joe’s have you met in your life, or, are you a Joe? 

“I love ya, man.”

 Timothy Cannon  

[businessguide12-blog]

Gordon Ramsay: The Unhealthy Son Chef From Hell%u2019s Cooking area Teaches Very good Company

New Post has been published on https://businessguideto.com/online-business-news/gordon-ramsay-the-unhealthy-son-chef-from-hellu2019s-cooking-area-teaches-very-good-company/

Gordon Ramsay: The Unhealthy Son Chef From Hell%u2019s Cooking area Teaches Very good Company

It got quite some time for Cook Gordon Ramsay to come to my consideration. With minimal t . v . viewing time offered caused by a hectic function plan, I usually view a choose band of cord funnel applications which have with consideration been waiting around in my electronic digital recorder. When summertime arrives and my first run faves are inaccessible, I have bold and from time to time go slumming amongst the broadcast channels. In the middle of that rubbish heap, I found the Cook from Hell.

There seemed to be something in regards to a gentleman using a overseas emphasize yelling at a lot of odd seeking folks cook outfits that appealed if you ask me, despite the fact that i don%u2019t determine what made me view. It reminded me of exploring the carnivals while in my younger times. I experienced a similar attraction to Hell%u2019s Kitchen area that I managed for the Clyde and Bonnie Passing away Auto demonstrate or perhaps the Reefer Madness motion picture movie theater inside the shows area of the carnival.

Seeing Hell%u2019s Kitchen the first time concerned me. I dislike actuality tv shows. My wife and i also discuss an office inside our residence by using a t . v . set up that may be on quite often. Inside the attention of relationship happiness, I from time to time observed Determine Judy or Jerry Springer. After expanding fed up in the antics on individuals programs, my partner discovered Big Brother. Though easier on my small ears, that demonstrate do absolutely nothing in my opinion. I would have felt exactly the same about Hell%u2019s Home.

With my finger strongly planted about the route-changing switch of my far off, I had been willing to retreat back for the sanity from the increased double and triple digit route phone numbers on my small cord container. In spite of my best efforts, I was able to not change the funnel. I needed to observe every single BLEEPING minute of Ramsey%u2019s Tirades. I believed out why, at the end from the episode.

In spite of my aversion to reality shows, I watch The Apprentice. Anybody considering company possibly does. As soon as you work through all of the personalities, contestant chitchat and also other crap chucked into satisfy the regular fact television set method, it%u2019s a show about organization done efficiently. When industry is completed improper, the bad participant is fired. That%u2019s about as true because it receives. That is certainly even the appeal of the items one among my teenage kids cell phone calls %u201Cthe Imply Chef display.%u201D Imply? I beg to be different. It%u2019s about kitchen and preparing food administration done efficiently.

Those who have ever been offered a one or two hundred or so $ food that tasted like day outdated junk food can connect with Ramsay%u2019s Specifications along with his adoration for providing the best meals in the most imaginative way possible. Although I am just a delayed comer to Hell%u2019s Kitchen area, I have become an ardent supporter. So much in fact that we in fact journeyed towards the BBC America cord funnel to get out much more of Ramsay. A Few Things I found was great.

Even though I haven%u2019t actually viewed Great britain television set inside a critical way considering that Benny Hillside, I got a possibility with Ramsay%u2019s Cooking area Nightmares and earned major. I came across the series to become engaging and also helpful. In one day as soon as the overall educational procedure is dumbed-lower to the point of becoming nearly pointless and fairly illegitimate in real life, it can be relaxing to find out how Ramsay is able to attain out and status the obvious for the unaware. This is something that men and women planning to attempt their hand on the bistro organization can study from.

It has been my uncomfortable encounter to have to explain to folks why their ideas suck, being an the occasional company venture director and specialist. That%u2019s the reason I rarely do this operate any longer. When going through a broad-eyed customer who is able to house loan a residence, borrow from relatives or max out bank cards to open up a goal company, I often must be the main one to spell out why they need to not. It%u2019s hard to tell men and women what most economic, mortgage, visa or mastercard and professional property businesses will not. All those organizations stand to profit from a small venture malfunction up to successful.

Individuals who fail at organization usually wind up back again at the office for one more 2 decades spending money on a goal that transformed into a problem. Lenders know they%u2019ll do anything whatsoever in order to save their property, so that they get money. Companies looking to dispose of above-valued retail shows and over-stocked general items would like to produce a sale. The strip mall landlord with unfilled stores plus a bad place is delighted to have as little as a couple of months rent of the Sam Walton wannabe so he or she will pay a few of their own personal bills.

Ramsay%u2019s Kitchen Nightmares shows things i phone Logic%u2019s Poor Course: Business Owners can do nearly anything they need, if they practice it correctly. Doesn%u2019t suggest you ought to available a skating extras store, because you cherish skating. Think again before you decide to option the farm on that formula, though your Grandmother may cook up a imply set of oat meal cookies. Ramsay knows what works and what doesn%u2019t, although he could have a potty jaws. Possibly that%u2019s because he experienced their own tough classes as you go along.

Brought into this world in 1966, the near future Scottish Celeb Chief cook seen his daddy consider numerous professions and businesses. The family unit continuously moved, because of several breakdowns. Ramsay most likely thought he handed down his father%u2019s knack for awful fortune as well as his initially title. Soon after vibrant successes in football (football), the longer term chef would be authorized from the Rangers. A number of injuries averted that. As opposed to signal with a decrease league crew, Gordon enrolled at the nearby university to examine accommodation administration and food catering. He was only nineteen years old.

After doing work in relatively modest the kitchen and managing resort cusine bedrooms, he relocated to London. Ramsay%u2019s gig at Harvey%u2019s positioned him less than Cook Marco Pierre White colored. Carries a well known temper and tyrannical home administration fashion, though white-colored is regarded as the godfather of recent English food preparation and food. During his heyday, Chef White colored regularly ejected people that reported about his cuisine and allegedly misused his staff in one method or another. Ramsay kept Harvey%u2019s right after virtually three years and later stated he was fed up with the %u201Cthe rages and the bullying and assault.%u201D

Cook Ramsay made a decision to further more his excellence of your French Cuisine by using benefit Albert Roux at Le Gavroche in Mayfair. It had been there that he fulfilled Jean-Claude Breton, his Hell%u2019s Cooking area Maître D’ and actual life Expert of your Hallway at Ramsay%u2019s Royal Hospital Streets bistro. After subsequent Albert Roux towards the French Alps to be effective as his second, Ramsay moved to Paris to do business with Guy Savoy and Joël Robuchon. Savoy%u2019s style of kitchen area management was oppressive. Three years of your both mental and physical anxiety found in French Cooking areas was sufficient for Ramsay. He put in each year employed as a Chef on the Idlewild, a private yacht that cruised from Bermuda.

Chief cook Ramsay returned to England in 1993 and worked well as Go Cook at Los angeles Tante Claire. Despite their philosophical dissimilarities, Cook Marco Pierre White colored presented Ramsay a job as Mind Chief cook and 25Per cent of your diner in the future called Aubergine. Ramsay continued to be there until finally 1997 when a question more than operation of the diner triggered him to go out of. Chief cook Ramsay established his own restaurant, Gordon Ramsay at Noble Medical facility Road, in 1998. Noble Hospital Streets was awarded a third Michelin legend in Ramsay and 2001 took over as the initially Scot to accomplish this recognize.

The Chef from Hell was on his way, yet not every little thing will be clean sailing. In 2001, Ramsay launched Amaryllis in Glasgow, Scotland, the metropolis of his birth. The cafe was first productive, but substantial rent, light week day company, snippy workers plus an inability to keep the food list reasonably priced were important elements in their breakdown. Ramsay misplaced a lot more than the cafe. His protégé, David Dempsey, passed away in 2003.

Amaryllis ended up being to have been a vehicle for Dempsey to ascertain themselves as a well known Chef. As he was there, the restaurant attained the respect from the only diner in Glasgow to acquire a Michelin Celebrity. When it shut, Ramsay brought Dempsey to London to operate as Head Cook at his Medical facility Street diner.

After only a few weeks back United kingdom, Dempsey was found looking to burglary into a property based in Elm Playground Backyards, just off of the Kings Streets in Chelsea. The owner in the flat struggled with him and Dempsey fell to his death from your 2nd narrative windowpane. Dempsey allegedly enjoyed a medicine issue. Ramsay%u2019s brother is surely an addict as well as the Chief cook is fiercely contra–medicine.

All Chefs are subject to company chaos, bottom collections, food items charges, personnel difficulties along with the always-altering tastes from the public. Chief cook Ramsay has dealt with all those difficulties much better than most. His love for a culinary task effectively completed, ability to make alterations as needed and admit breakdowns after they arise will be the characteristics that will make him a fantastic someone and mentor worthy of seeing. By 2006, Chief cook Ramsay has grown to be fairly of the conglomerate with restaurants, food and bars specialist obligations all over the world.

It%u2019s tough to say how much of Ramsay%u2019s bistro achievement is a result of his television reputation. When it comes to culinary arts stardom, the preparing food and dishes most-often have the Chef. Nevertheless, if it%u2019s also about title acknowledgement and being a bigger than existence press body, Cook Ramsay very easily fits into individuals tasks at the same time.

British t . v . audiences found Ramsay%u2019s crazy ways in 1998 with Boiling Stage. Ramsay%u2019s rants continuing in 2000 with Past Cooking Position and got with a change in 2004 when Ramsay%u2019s Cooking area Nightmares success the airwaves. The method of Chef Ramsay spending a week attempting to rehabilitate an ailing eatery during every single episode worked effectively. Your Kitchen Nightmares show remains proceeding solid following 3 periods on Great britain tv. An American variation is due within the fall of 2007.

The top of Hell%u2019s Kitchen in 2004 adopted Ramsay%u2019s Kitchen area Nightmares and launched British viewers to the very best of the most severe of Gordon Ramsay. As he will need to have learned some of those temperamental tirades from cooks White colored and Savoy, Ramsay has perfected them. So, much so, that Fox Tv helped bring the potty-mouthed specialist of pugnacious platitudes to American citizen people in 2005. Hell%u2019s Cooking area captured on swiftly in the us and may have established the door for just one of Ramsay%u2019s mouthy mentors to get his picture at U.S. t . v . audiences.

Whilst Ramsay is hectic looking to save American dining places requiring rehab with Ramsay%u2019s Kitchen area Nightmares, a new version of Hell%u2019s Kitchen area presenting Chief cook White colored is rumored to be growth for your Fox Network. People like seeing chefs explode and act a bit ridiculous as verified by the latest modifications on the different preparing food and food items cable television stations. cooks, Hosts and chefs are becoming a lot more impolite and intense.

If imitation is the sincerest kind of flattery, visualize a mouthy Martha Stewart spitting out expletives, kicking her dearest pets because they sampled the The apple company Pan Doughty or organizing food items about when guests point out her stop at Group Given. As they may be able to imitate his style, couple of self-designed foods specialists, cooks, chefs or restaurateurs have reached Chief cook Ramsay%u2019s height of fame and influence.

Don%u2019t wait for rerun time of year to have the Chef from Heck. If it%u2019s anything such as the UK edition airing on BBC The united states, Ramsay%u2019s Kitchen Nightmares on Fox will certainly be a have to-see for business people, buyers and anybody wanting some leisure that educates and also it entertains.

Continue reading at http: //daily life.BillKnell.com

[deantemjitunit5unit13]

Task 1 - Research

What is modernist architecture?

Modernist architecture is a global architecture and design movement emerged in the 1920s in response to accelerate industrialization and social changes in the society. Modernist architecture utilized new materials as well as advanced technology to reject the old, tradition, historical ideas and styles of architecture. The idea is to emphasized function, simplicity, and rationality.

The uses of those elements mentioned above resulted in modern buildings characterized by clean lines, simple geometric shapes, pure cubic forms, ribbon windows, flat roofs, and flexible open interior spaces.

What are the key design elements of modernist architecture that will help you design your museum?

Clean lines

Simple geometric shapes

Cubic forms

Ribbon windows (A series of windows set side by side to form continuous band horizontally)

Flat Roofs

Flexible open interior spaces

The key idea is to use theme elements to elevate my museum design as well as emphasized on function, simplicity, and rationality.

Source: https://study.com/academy/lesson/modernism-in-architecture-definition-history.html

Create a mood board of architecture that will influence your design in software.

From my research of the modernist architecture, I was inspired by the usage of the function, simplicity and rationality. In extension to that, I created a mood board including a series of images of modernist architecture, and I learned something during the process; the design includes clean lines, simple geometric shapes and cubic forms.

This heavily inspired me to draw sketches in a 2D perspective of designs that I’m inspired from. The sketches I have drawn follows most of the factors from my research. It includes simplicity such as the cubic forms of the building or geometric shapes to keep everything modernize. Moreover, I plan on expanding my design by sketching the top and side view of the building to present the building in a completely different perspective in response to functionality and rationality.

Art and Design movement - The Bauhaus

Context

What was the factor that led to this design movements forming?

Bauhaus was a German school of design, architecture and applied arts that existed in Germany. Bauhaus in full was called, ‘Staatliches Bauhaus’ and was in operation from 1919 to 1933. The design school was based in Weimar until 1925, Dessau in 1932, and Berlin in its final months in 1933.

The reason why the school was not in operation was that the liberals who had supported the Bauhaus were defeated, and the new conservative government cut off school’s funding on 1 April 1925, precisely six years after it opened, the Bauhaus was forced to close.

Key Individuals

Who were some of the key individuals involved with this design movement?

Josef Albers

Josef Albers believed the important formal qualities of the day where: harmony or balance, free or measured rhythms, geometric or arithmetic proportion, symmetry or asymmetry and central or peripheral synthesis.

Herbert Bayer

Herbert Bayer (1900-1985) was an Austrian-American painter, photographer and typographer. He initially joined the Bauhaus as a student and, after some years, he was named the director of the printing and advertising department.

Wassily Kandinsky

Wassily Kandinsky taught from theory with an emphasis on colour theory. He encouraged his students to understand abstraction in his course ‘The Basics of Artistic Design,’ but it was in his colour class where Kandinsky most thoroughly developed his own theories.

Use of science and new technology

How did they use the technology of the time in new ways to produce innovative and creative design?

In 1923, the Bauhaus school of design organised an exhibition which changed the Bauhaus ideology. It was called ‘Art & Technology: A New Unity’. The workshops at the Bauhaus was used as laboratories in which prototypes of products, suitable mass production. It was carefully developed and improved in their time as artists embrace the new possibilities of modern technologies and how they could combine them with art to produce an innovative and creative design.

Function

What was the function and purpose behind their work, why did they do what they did?

The key idea and what led motivation behind the Bauhaus movement lay in the 19th century. It began when arising in the anxieties about the soullessness of manufacturing its products, and in fears that art may lose its purpose in the society. The movement’s purpose was to unite creativity and manufacturing again, as it fears that it could be drifted apart from focusing the mass manufacturing its product as opposed to being creative with the product.

Design Characteristics

What were the key visual and design characteristics of this design movement?

Form follows function

Louis Sullivan is an American architect and was the first person to use the famous expression ‘form follows function’. This became the very foundation of the Bauhaus. ‘Form follows function’, means that form should be applied of its function and comparing it to the traditional buildings, there are significant changes to the appeal in the buildings in modern society. It focuses more on the functionality of the building as opposed to their appeal.

True materials

Materials should reflect the true nature of objects and buildings and honesty as a designer was the most important. True materials term means that they didn’t try to hide the materials for the sake of the ‘appeal’.

Minimalist style

The minimalist style of Bauhaus art reflected on the ideas of functionality and true materials. It is influenced by movements such as Modernism and De Stijl and focuses more on linear and geometrical forms while avoiding floral and curvilinear shapes.

Gesamtkunstwerk

The founder of the Bauhaus, Walter Gropius was the first person to apply the notion of ‘Gesamtkunstwerk’. It combines multiple art forms such as fine and decorative arts unified through architecture in the case of Bauhaus.

Uniting art and technology

The Bauhaus school of design organised an exhibition in 1923 which shifted the Bauhaus ideology. The exhibition was called ‘Art & Technology: A New Unity’. The workshops at the Bauhaus was used as laboratories prototyping products as well as the suitability for mass production.

References: https://www.catawiki.com/stories/5263-5-characteristics-of-bauhaus-art-architecture-and-design

Influence

What areas of design did this movements influence?

The Bauhaus movement was recognised in fields of design such as interior design, graphic design, typography and architecture. However, its influence exists in many areas beyond art and design. For instance, the modernist architecture and modern design was influence with the geometric designs, minimalism, true materials, and hand-crafted to the extent it had mass marketing in mind.

Production

How was the work produced? How does this differ from today?

The Bauhaus goal was to combine art, craft, and technology to reach a common goal and a common vision of a purer form of design without unnecessary decoration. The work produced was centralised on the idea of functionality, practical, and clean which is no different from what modernism is today. However, at the time it wasn’t really a ‘thing’, more like a collection of ideas.

Art and Design movement – DADA

Context

What was the factor that led to this design movements forming?

The DADA movement is claimed to be “anti-art” and had a strong destructive and negative element to provoke people’s expressions such as shock and outrage. It was a rejection of tradition and the seeking of complete freedom from past traditions. 

DADA was born out of disgust for the social, political and cultural values of the time. This art of protest – based on a serious underlying principle is delightful. DADA was nonsense, yet colourful, wittily sarcastic and just downright silly.

Key Individuals

Who were some of the key individuals involved with this design movement?

Francis Picabia

Picabia was a French artist who embraced the many ideas of Dadaism. He enjoyed going against convention and re-defined himself to work in new ways over his career.

Hugo Ball

Hugo Ball designed the costume showing in the image above, for his performance of the sound-poem, “Karawane”. It is the type of performance in which nonsensical syllables uttered in patterns created rhythm and emotion; however, nothing resembling any known language.

This was the result or a mockery and is meant to be directed to the inability of European powers to solve their diplomatic problems through discussion, thus leading to World War 1.

Hans Arp

Hans Arp made a series of collages based on chance. Hugo would stand above a sheet of paper, dropping squares of contrasting coloured paper on a larger sheet’s surface. Wherever the contrasting coloured square lands on the surface, he would glue the squares that fell on the page.

References: https://www.theartstory.org/movement-dada.htm

Use of science and new technology

How did they use the technology of the time in new ways to produce innovative and creative design?

There weren’t much of the methods they could use. It was all traditional, yet the thoughts are innovative and creative. The work produced is similar to what we’d call as ‘Photomontage’ – produced by cutting, glueing, rearranging and overlapping images to create a new image. However, the work produced influenced by the DADA movement is just downright nonsensical in its nature. 

Function

What was the function and purpose behind their work, why did they do what they did?

DADA art movement was a form of artistic anarchy born out of disgust for the social, political and cultural values of the time. The art movement embraced elements of art, music, poetry, theatre, dance and politics. It was the opposite style of art movements such as Cubism or Fauvism, yet it was more a protest movement with an anti-establishment manifesto.

Design Characteristics

What were the key visual and design characteristics of this design movement?

DADA began in Zurich and became an international movement. Or non-movement, as it were.

DADA only had one rule: Never follow any known rules.

DADA was intended to provoke an emotional reaction from the viewer such as shock or outrage.

DADA art is nonsensical to the point of whimsy. Almost all of the people who created it were ferociously serious, though.

Abstraction and Expressionism were the main influences on DADA, followed by Cubism and Futurism.

The movement that is supposed to mean nothing, yet DADA certainly created a lot of offshoots. In addition to spawning numerous literary journals. DADA had also influenced many concurrent trends in the visual arts.

DADA self-destructed when it was in danger of becoming “acceptable”.

Influence

What areas of design did this movements influence?

DADA influence was Abstraction, Expressionism, Cubism and, to a lesser extent, Futurism. The output was pretty diverse that the DADA has an influence on, ranging from performance art to poetry, photography, sculpture, painting, and collage.

Production

How was the work produced? How does this differ from today?

It is in no question that the art produced differ from today. However, the DADA movement has spurred modern artists to find their own voice. There was no longer a need to adhere to a static set of rules – or even to make logical sense. This laid the groundwork for the freedom of expression that artists now enjoy today.

Art and Design movement – Russian Constructivism

Context

What was the factor that led to this design movements forming?

Constructivism was a particular austere branch of abstract art founded by Vladimir Tatlin and Alexander Rodchenko in Russia around 1915. The Russian Constructivism is aimed and believed art should directly reflect the modern industrial world. Pablo Picasso’s Cubist constructions were Vladimir Tatlin’s influenced, in which he saw in Picasso’s studio in 1913. Tatlin began to make his own but they were completely abstract and made of industrial materials.

References: https://www.tate.org.uk/art/art-terms/c/constructivism

Key Individuals

Who were some of the key individuals involved with this design movement?

Vladimir Tatlin

Vladimir Tatlin was central to the birth of Russian Constructivism. He was often described as “laboratory constructivist”, and Tatlin took lessons learned from Pablo Picasso’s Cubist reliefs and Russian Futurism, and began to create objects that sometimes seem poised between sculpture and architecture.

Alexander Rodchenko

Alexander Rodchenko started working from 1915 to 1955. His mediums are painting, photography, sculptor and printing. Rodchenko was inspired by Art Nouveau artists such as Aubrey Beardsley. His art combined with politics to contribute to communist propaganda.

Alexander’s career is a model clash between modern art and radical politics. He emerged as a reasonably conventional painter. However, his encounters with Russian Futurists made him want to become an influential founder of the Constructionist movement.

Use of science and new technology

How did they use the technology of the time in new ways to produce innovative and creative design?

In the artwork that they have produced, industrial materials like glass, steel, and plastic were used in the artwork creation.

Function

What was the function and purpose behind their work, why did they do what they did?

Tatlin’s Corner Counter-Relief work in 1914 was a vital work that made him develop ideas, and form a bridge between the influence of Cubism on his work. However, his work would conform neither to the conventional format of painting or sculpture as Constructivism would aspire to display those old fashioned forms. In which, Tatlin suggests that modernity and experiment should be Russia’s new gods.

References: https://www.theartstory.org/movement-constructivism-artworks.htm

Design Characteristics

What were the key visual and design characteristics of this design movement?

Constructivism aimed stood for three ideals – abstraction, functionalism, and utilitarianism. The Russian Constructivism focused more on the construction of the art rather than the composition, in turns – it distinguished them from the traditional art movements and their aim is modernity.

The movement tried to attain universal form. The work produced consisted of three as well as two-dimensional art forms. The general themes that were often used are geometric, minimal, experimental, and rarely emotional. Furthermore, the artwork produced is broken down to its basic elements – the art form simplified everything on the fundamental level.

Materials that would be considered modernity were used such as glass, steel, and plastic were used in the artwork creation.

The artwork produced combine different sans serif fonts for their visual properties as well as their meanings. Moreover, simple colours, flat, and symbolic elements would be used in the artwork. A lot of the time, rather than hand-drawn illustrations were used in the artwork, the photo-montage technique was often used.

References: https://arthearty.com/history-characteristics-of-constructivist-art

Influence

What areas of design did this movements influence?

The style in which the movement has been marked by is an organization of abstract, geometrical elements to make dynamic or visually stable forms. Moreover, simple, flat and symbolic colours. Moreover, it is also focused on extensive white space as part of the design and the use of photography (rather than drawn illustrations) and photomontage in the work. This could be said that the movement has its influences in today’s Graphic Design and Photography.

Production

How was the work produced? How does this differ from today?

Stylistically, the Constructivism focused on abstract, geometrical elements to make dynamic or visually stable forms. The artwork produced combine different sans serif typefaces for their visual and formal properties as well as their meaning. Simple, flat, and symbolic colours were also used in the artwork, and rather than including hand-drawn illustrations in the artwork, it focused more on photo-montage.

The methods to creating the artwork may work differently today; however, the style and the thoughts process for the artwork are similar as a lot of the artwork today focused more on simple, flat, and symbolic colours which were true to the Russian Constructivism.

References: http://www.csun.edu/~pjd77408/DrD/Art461/LecturesAll/Lectures/lecture07/Constructivism.html

[xmydaysinmilanx]

What would the the chocobros romantic ideal date be with their s/o. (I would love to read some sweet fluffy stuff :'))

Headcanon/scenario’s revolving each of the guy’s individual preferencesfor a rare day/night off to spend with their partners.Noctis: Noctis is a lethargic type of person. He has his reasons – the guy is draininga lot of energy to fulfil his Royal duties so he wants a whole day to relax. Hewill invite you to stay over at his private chambers in the Citadel, CrownCity. Following a much needed sleep-in, he will make the effort to get out of bed andmake you a hot drink before proceeding to shower – he wants a fresh scent andis paranoid about his appearance around you. Whilst you’re sipping yourbeverage in bed he will quickly grab some of his hair products from his drawsand rush in the bathroom, frantically looking in one mirror to the next toensure his hair is styled adequately. Post hair woes, Noctis informs you thebathroom is free provided you want to use it so you quickly wash and put casualclothes on – you know you’re not going to be taken anywhere fancy but that’swhat he adores about you. You love him for who he is and not because of hisRoyalty.Noctis decides to surprise you to visit an old play area him and the bros wouldhang out in during their school years. The place holds a lot of sentimentalvalue to him and you’re touched he opened up to you. Noctis takes your hand andleads you to sit on top of a long slide – it’s a little claustrophobic becauseof the lack of room, yet you both feel so cosy and snuggle up to each other. Heplaces his arm around the back of your neck, ensuring his hand is respectfullyaway from your chest area and place on your forearm. Noctis strokes your forearm now and then between sentences to ensure you feelloved and acknowledged. His other arm is awkwardly wrapped around the ladderconnected to the slide. Noctis: ‘Look, I know I’m not the sort ofguy to say everything and anything about how I’m feeling but….I…’ He sighs and continues.‘Those guys are my life and my family and….andI want you to be part of it. You’re my world Y/N – my one constant and damn it,I know, look, I know I don’t show my gratitude enough….’Y/N: ‘It’s okay Noct, please continue.’ –You want to cherish this moment he pours his heart out to you.Noctis: ‘Just promise me one thing. Iswear, I hope it’s not too much. Stay with me, always Y/N.’You simply nodded your head before proceeding to rest it on his shoulder. Hesmiles and you both enjoy absorbing your surroundings.The old run down play area held a greater significance than ever……Gladio: One of the reasons Gladio fell for you is because you’re not afraid to getyour hands dirty for a prize! You worked a busy shift at the power plant andwere surprised to see Gladio sitting outside your car.Y/N: ‘Er Gladi, aren’t you supposed to beescorting Noctis to Altissia’s Fishing Tournament tonight? The paparazzi aregoing to be in full force, he needs you right?’Gladio: ‘Not tonight Princess but don’tworry, I got it covered. Tonight, it’s about me and you.’You kinda despised being called Princess for a nickname but hey, the guytook a night off for you. Since you were off this weekend, you didn’t have toworry about an early start to sleep for so you were motivated to make the mostof your night! Gladio suggested you went on a little hunt, to which youresponded.Y/N: ‘Behemoth time, right Gladio? Whatsay we get some proper meat, OUR way?’Gladio: ‘Oh, I’m on it!’Gladio high fives you and insists on driving your car due to your tiring day atwork. You both arrive in run down deserted plains situated between Goldin Quayand Hammerhead. You both swing out your weapons and temporarily separate toincrease the chances of what becomes a successful pre-emptive strike on a huge20 foot Behemoth with claws so sharp and strong they could break a human’sbones in seconds.You both perform one last strike together, Gladio grabs your hand and swingsyou to the opposite side of the creature, delivering a devastating blow to itsback leg whilst Gladio pierces its chest. You both gather your prize and goback to your apartment, in which he carefully stirs your hard earned meat intoyours and his favourite limited edition sweet and sour chilli Cup Of Noodles you managed to acquirefor free as a thank you for your efforts at work.You both sat on your sofa, watching horror movies accompanied with yourdelicious noodles before he grabs your hips gently, placing you on his lap,massaging your back whilst enjoying your favourite horror movies.Prompto:Prompto’s purchased you both some tickets to the Moogle Chocobo carnival – an annual event you’ve sadly neverattended due to your work commitments as a full time environmentalist,educating citizens across the globe. He’s already liaised with your management,practically begging them to let you have a weekend off to unwind and whatbetter way to let loose than find yourself surrounding by mascots, fun and gameswhilst being surprised to a free fireworks display as a thank you for yourservices to the people of Eos.Prompto has you blindfolded whilst he drives you to your special getaway. Heasked you to pack beforehand so everything was organised and going smoothly!Whilst you wondered what was occurring, you heard unfamiliar noises and thesounds of huge gatherings and popping balloons.Prompto escorted you out of his auto mobile with your luggage, leading you towhat sounded and felt like a hotel suite. He then led you back outdoors againbefore ripping off your blindfold.Prompto: ‘Ta da sweet cheeks! This is foryou. Take a break, relax and enjoy!’Y/N: ‘Oh my, wow this is the……THIS IS THEFREAKING MOOGLE CHOCOBO CARNIVAL ARE YOU SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW?’ You immediately ran over to the coins counter, learning what prizes are to bewon before Prompto grabs your arm, leading you to the chocobo races to whichyou gladly volunteered to participate.Talk about an amazing day. You were both on a sugar high from the MoogleEdition candy floss and choco-banana ice cream consumed. You’d participated in variousactivities, including the findings of moogle models, shooting cactuars,photograph competitions. Prompto had never seen you so happy, even though youbeat him at chocobo racing which would normally frustrate him. You even won aplush chocobo for him at the stall as a way to say thank you which gets him emotional.As the evening would draw closer, he decided to take you out for a meal atAltissia’s finest establishment before inviting you to the special fireworksevent. You both refreshed yourselves at your hotel room before Prompto escortedyou to a small boat, controlled by a member of staff for tour guides and justgenerally enjoy the scenery and see all the sights whilst admiring thebeautiful fireworks!As the sparks would fly, you closed your eyes, taking in the sounds beforegrabbing Prompto’s camera and getting plenty of landscape shots of multi-colouredfireworks – the colours perfectly contrasted the dark night sky.Prompto: ‘That’s my girl.’He watched you with utmost pride and smirked. How did he ever get this lucky?Seeing you smile made him feel warm and fuzzy inside and you’d never forgetthis thoughtful gesture.Ignis: Ignis is the only bro who evidences balance and structure in the event of planning adate. For Ignis, he would need to outline the pros and cons of a particular locationand recipe before inviting his loved one into what could be a night of turmoiland trouble. He hides it well normally but the guy was rather anxious when itcame to pleasing his partner. They’re the sort of couple of love each otherdearly but enjoy pursuing their own interests and investing in their ownindividual time – the pair’s schedules are packed to the brim with Royalduties; Ignis serving Prince Noctis and Y/N attending to the cleanliness of theCitadel quarters. So a date night was a pretty big deal as far as Iggy was concerned.He gave notice to Noctis concerning his ‘night off’ and ensured Y/N followedsuit. So it’s now a Saturday night and Y/N has spent the day sleeping andcatching up on her historical readings leant to her by Ignis himself. Ignis hasbeen preparing the setting for Y/N, hoping the date would prove she is hisnumber one priority, despite his commitments to the Prince. He requested shedresses in ‘comfortable’ and ‘warm’ attire and meet him outside the Citadel.She proceeds and he takes her arm, escorting her to his car, driving with theroof lowered. He then leads her to a quiet area full of grasslands situated onthe outskirts of Insomnia. You’d read about this little known location in oneof your books Iggy leant you. You were most impressed.Ignis: ‘Follow me and please, remainseated. You need not lift a finger for tonight’s activities.’You followed him to a beautiful campsite, clearly set up during the day (goodjob it didn’t rain), the tent was pretty huge and you took a sneak peak – he’dfilled the tent with your favourite blanket you keep in his accommodation topreserve his scent, all accompanied with a thick duvet and cushions. You smeltthe scent of your favourite dish, Spaghetti Bolognese complete with Sea saltbread with a large bottle of balsamic vinegar – your favoured flavour of dip. Y/N: ‘How long have you been out heretoday, cooking this?’Ignis: ‘Ah, the best part of the wholeday, crack of dawn to set up camp, followed by food preparation back home, notto forget the……’Ignis was interrupted by you dramatically running over to him standing at thestove. He paused whilst you hugged him tightly, almost trapping his oxygensupply, thanking him repeatedly.As you eventually dined outside the huge camp/kitchen set up he suggested aspot of stargazing before wrapping up the date. You assisted him in tidying thecrockery and sat a few meters away from the tent on the grassy floor. You feltIgnis wrap his hands around your waist as he placed himself on the floor,carefully seating you on his thighs whilst he stretched out his legs. No words were needed, the ambience of the night and the most wondrous view didall the talking for the pair of you. Eventually you fell asleep, so peacefuland content whilst stargazing. He lifted you in his arms and placed you in thetent, wrapping the blankets around you both.Ignis: ‘Sleep well my beloved Y/N. Sleepwell.’Thank you for your request! I hope this was okay! :DXMyDaysInMilanX

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Close Encounters With the Truth

I was recently listening to a recording of Anthony de Mello, an inspirational Jesuit priest and psychotherapist when something he said stopped me in my tracks.  The story that he told seemed to go to the heart of what it means to be honest with ourselves.  It also spoke to what has gone terribly wrong in our society regarding what we call The Truth, a  problem that seems to have reached some kind of critical mass in the era of Trump.             

 De Mello describes a lecture that he was giving to a group of fellow Jesuits regarding certain tribal cultures.  The central idea had to do with how innocent and good these people were before ever having read  the gospel or known anything of Christianity.  Following the presentation, he was approached by an elderly Catholic missionary who had devoted the last forty years of his life to working with the very tribes de Mello had been speaking about.  The question that this clergyman posed struck me as remarkable for its courage and its candor.  He said the following:

 “ I’ve been reflecting on what you spoke about today and wonder if I haven’t spoiled these people  by introducing Christianity into lives that already possess  innocence and goodness.”

 One thing that I take away from this story has to do with the willingness of an individual to consider a view of the world contrary to what he had always believed to be true - to allow doubt to cast a shadow on something he once thought of as God’s work.  Regardless of what we may personally believe or feel about the work of missionaries, we can still marvel at the strength and faith that this priest displayed.  When confronted with evidence challenging the value of what had been his life’s work, he was willing to question whether his efforts had been of any value at all.

 I can’t say whether or not the truth will always set us free or even that we’ll feel better having faced a truth.  What  I can say from my experience as a family member and from what I’ve learned from my work with families is that our life-long relationship with the truth is possibly the most important connection that we will ever have.

 Sometimes I find myself asking clients faced with an important life decision, “In your heart of hearts what do you believe to be true?”  Often, the underlying questions I am asking are: “How well do you really know yourself?”  and,  ”Do you honestly feel that you can live with this situation or relationship in your life without it eroding your sense of self?”

 Polonius’s final words of advice to Hamlet in Shakespeare’s most performed play is: “Above all else to thine own self be true.”   The wisdom that he offers Hamlet beyond the virtue of being honest with himself  has to do with being courageous in the face of difficult realities.  I take this to mean that we place ourselves in jeopardy when we ignore or deny what we underlyingly know to be true.  The reason that we avoid exploring things more deeply is usually because they frighten us or take us out of our zone of comfort.

 Close encounters with the truth can also arise in our jobs and careers. One run-in that I had with the truth had to do with my work as a family therapist.  With the benefit of hindsight I can say that in the 1990s I had  “fallen in love” with an approach to treatment called family systems therapy and the theories of Murray Bowen.  This approach had been very helpful to me in my work on my own family issues and some clients of mine reported growth in other parts of their lives after having examined and established more mature relationships with extended family members.                                                                                                                            

The danger I fell prey to was believing that the theory should work in all cases even when some of my experiences with clients didn’t support that conclusion.   I was finding that there were clients of mine with more severe symptoms - usually eating disorders and post- trauma problems - who seemed to derive little benefit from this type of treatment.   It was emotionally difficult for me to let go of my belief in the universality of this approach.  But I would have eventually faced my own crisis of honesty and integrity had I continued to apply a method that was contradicted by the evidence that I was witnessing in my daily work.                                                                                                                            

“The Fog of War,”  a 2003  documentary memoir of  Secretary of Defense Robert S. McNamara was a film that left me with a deep respect for truth telling as confessional - a  public figure’s way of making amends for policies that wreaked death and destruction on entire populations.  McNamara was a figure reviled by the American Left in the 1960’s, one of the architects of the Vietnam War and a Pentagon number cruncher who always came across  to me as devoid of feelings and humanity.   But watching this frail eighty-five year old bare his soul and humbly admit to the miscalculations and moral failures of himself and others during that era was a lesson in humility.  I felt like I was witnessing  a different kind of power in his willingness to tell the truth.  And this in turn left me with a begrudging respect for a man whom I had once held in contempt.

 It is important that we bring truth to bear in our careers and in examining the regrets we may carry around past decisions that we have made, but it is our intimate relationships that challenge us to face the most difficult truths about ourselves and others.  As a couples’ counselor I have found that  almost all marital problems are crises of honesty in one form or another.  Resentments build when people ignore or deny the sincere criticisms and requests their partners offer them.  Our narcissism becomes the enemy of the truth when we are unwilling to take a closer look at the negative and sometimes even destructive aspects of ourselves.   

 Another reason that we are susceptible to lying to ourselves and distorting the truth is because of our early need to be cared for and to trust our caregivers.  This leaves us forever vulnerable to the self-deception of being seduced.  Life partners, friends and relatives can become surrogate and symbolic caregivers who can abuse their positions of power and exploit the powers that we hand over to them.  This kind of adulation can extend to gurus and politicians who we deeply want to believe in.

  I have sat in my office with emotionally and even physically battered women who have defended the husbands who abused them daily.  They would insist that, “ Underneath his hurtful behaviors I know that he really loves me.”  When I have inquired further about any evidence they might have to support that belief they generally have had little to offer.  When we create mythologies around other human beings and brainwash ourselves into believing that they are OK when they are not, we do so at our own risk.  We also harm the other person whose distorted ideas and behaviors remain unchallenged.

 The denial of reality that I have witnessed in women who defend their abusive partners is part of what we are witnessing in the election of and continued support by large segments of our population for Donald Trump.  The idea that underneath his crass bombast he is really a good guy who is looking out for us, the common people, is almost identical to the myths that women create about their abusive partners. The fact that Trump is himself a chronic liar is compelling in itself, but the daily reports of his breaking major campaign promises is something  that few can deny.  And yet that denial of reality is exactly what is happening with his political base.  The cruel irony of the Trump phenomenon is that the people who saw him as the authentic, straight-talking, non-politician who would “drain the Washington swamp” and fight for the little guy now have significant evidence to prove that they were betrayed once again.

 Trump’s assault on the truth is part of an epic, global battle that will probably determine the direction of the entire world.  The Russia connection and Putin’s placing his thumb on the American electoral process by hacking into computers and planting fake news on the internet is designed to create confusion and undermine our democratic institutions, raising the question, “is there anything that we can believe in or trust?  On-going investigations will soon determine whether there was collusion between Putin and Trump’s election campaign that could have tilted the election in Trump's favor.  Many people are left with the question: Who do we believe? - the press and investigative agencies or a leader and his own media entourage who daily attack mainstream journalists and declare that what they are exposing is  “fake news?”

 The Trump regime certainly seems to have an Orwellian character built on distortion and lies.  In the dystopian novel 1984, Big Brother’s credo for the masses is, “War is Peace, Freedom is Slavery and Ignorance is Strength.”  In this absolutist, totalitarian state the “Department of Justice” is the agency of torture and mind control.  But is this “new-think” much different from the Environmental Protection Agency in the era of Trump which is headed by the very man who sued it multiple times in the past, is rapidly dismantling regulations on the chemical and oil industries, and is being “advised” by the lawyers of the corporations that it is charged with regulating?  Is this all part of what activist Naomi Klein has called the “Shock Doctrine?” - a flipping of reality on its head and sowing confusion about what is real? - a further softening us up as a prelude to our acceptance of  the authority, protection and wisdom of the Great Leader?

 Much is at stake in the willingness of people to be open enough to re-examine what they hold to be true.  What is in jeopardy has to do with some people’s very survival - the  coverage they receive in our American healthcare system and the environmental fate of our planet.  The direction we move in as a nation may be based in large part on the willingness of a portion of our society to take an honest look at the political package they were sold and to consider fighting back against the beginnings of  tyranny.  Or, on the other hand, will people double down on what they'd rather believe to be the truth out of some misplaced loyalty and shame, without ever considering the facts or other possibilities?

 If we connect the dots, we can begin to draw a line between the Jesuit priest who was listening to the DeMelo lecture, Defense Secretary McNamara’s early look backs at his role during the Vietnam War, the person in a relationship who knows that she is not being treated in the way that she deserves and the citizen in a democracy who is confronted with critical political choices that challenge his ingrained prejudices and group loyalties.  What each is being called upon to struggle  with is his relationship with the truth.  This is the part of our humanity that may be even deeper than the influences of social class, gender, race and  culture.  It has to do with the qualities we all need to cultivate in order to get things right in our personal lives and in our society -  curiosity, honesty, courage and the willingness to be open to new ideas.  They are the parts of our humanity that may unsettle us, but may also bring on the necessary internal shake-ups that challenge our narrow, tribal beliefs.  Hopefully, they will keep us on a never ending quest for what is true.    

[lovelyfantasticfart]

Choices Trading - Calculate Options Price - And Calculate Choices Greeks Using Excel

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When Work Anxiety & Stress Strikes, What Should We Do?

Nobody likes getting out of bed in the winter season.

A minimum of not in New England, where the air outside is so freezing, it harms to breathe. Why would anybody live someplace where it injures to breathe for two months out of the year? I don't understand.

Anyway, one especially cold Tuesday morning in February comes to mind. It was so early, it was still dark out. When I left the house, my hair froze in the perhaps 30-second dash to my cars and truck. And despite the fact that I had left the car running for 15 minutes to warm up, it was still no place near habitable. Obviously.

I was trying to enter the workplace early to crank some exercise for a client whose Google Advertising campaigns required additional TLC to get the outcomes they were searching for. I find I get a lot more done in those early a.m. hours when nobody else is in the office yet.

That may not sound like enjoyable for you, but I had been eagerly anticipating it. It feels incredible to get a half a day's worth of operate in prior to the day even starts.

Then Panic Struck Out of No place

As I was driving, my heart rate shot up, my palms started sweating, and I had a hard time to catch my breath. The anxiety of facing another demanding day with a demanding client had captured up with me.

I pulled over.

I had never ever had a problem with anxiety or high quantities of tension before.

There I sat on the side of the road, not able to stop freaking out about the insurmountable amount of work I had to get done that week. About difficult discussions I might have to have with clients. And on, and on.

I highly thought about simply turning around and saying, "Forget this. Not today. It doesn't matter. Who cares. Screw all of this. I'm going back to hibernate up until springtime lastly cuts through this miserable weather."

I had been flexing over backwards for months attempting to get my workload under control, to a point where I might breathe and in fact lean into the delight my job typically brings me. Rather, I was still crippled with stress and anxiety and asking myself:

"Why is it taking so long for me to figure it out this time around?"

"From now on, will difficult times always lead me to have a pre-dawn mental breakdown on the side of the road?"

"Why am I putting myself through this?"

"Why would anyone let it get to this point?"

"What Am I Doing with My Life?"

Have you ever asked yourself that concern? I thought I was the only one who fell under ruts of asking myself, "What am I doing? What's the point?" on an often everyday basis.

As it turns out, I'm not. All of us do.

What's even worse, however, is that-- on top of questioning whatever-- you then observe your peers around you, appearing like they understand what's going on and oh, so put together. There you are, spiraling, right? While they have everything under control. They understand precisely what's going to occur next.

They understand what their "strategy" is.

And after that there was me, who had actually never related more to Phoebe than in the last 6 months:

Sometimes this psychological spiral can feel never-ending.

Every minute of every day, you think to yourself:

"I'm not regular. I need to be doing something incorrect. Everybody else has it together, however I am various. I am defective."

When that would occur, I would breathe and tell myself, "This will pass. All of these sensations will pass."

And right away, I would feel ... relief.

Well, till I understood, "Wait, if this is all expected to pass, why the heck hasn't it in fact passed yet? Why does this anxiety keep returning?"

For me, it also appeared like it was a various sort of anxiety every day.

One day it was, "Why aren't things forming?"

The next, "Where are they in fact supposed to fall into?"

And lastly, "How do I get to the point where I feel like I suffice!.

?.!?"We've All Existed (Even If We Don't Admit It)

Certainly, you're not here to hear about a quarter-life crisis -- is that even a genuine thing?-- or listen to me panic about what's going on.

Like me, you're enthusiastic about digital sales and marketing, helping grow an organisation (either your own or somebody else's), and establishing your career. However even for those of us who really enjoy what we do and where we work, all of us come across these difficult times.

Sadly, those minutes are extremely isolating and lonely. We think nobody is feeling the way we do. So, we keep quiet, due to the fact that we don't wish to be perceived as weak or incapable by those we deal with and for.

What are we expected to do?

Maybe you're reading this wishing to hear somebody older and better state that this industry is difficult, however do not fret, you'll get through it somehow. Or, my personal favorite, "It will all pass."

Well, I'm sorry to state, I do not have an answer.

I'm quite sure that is the response-- no one understands exactly what's going to happen next. Nobody has a hint. And we should welcome that, as it's the one universal reality that links all of us.

You are not alone in this. The entire world has actually felt the precise very same method you carry out in those minutes-- lots of most likely do right now. The issue is that we do not talk about it with each other.

Things are constantly changing in our lives-- the industries we pick to work in, the technology we rely upon to do our jobs, the individuals we work with. However you can't lose sight of the fact that you have actually likewise achieved a lot. Romantically, academically, professionally, athletically, or whatever other qualifier you wish to pick.

And that's where you require to start.

Discover Something That Makes You Feel Excellent

For me, it's working with my hands.

The minute I have that "What am I finishing with my life?" sensation, I hit the garage and start putting something together. Revitalizing an old coffee table, fixing a broken chair, developing a cornhole set, or perhaps building a freaking LEGO set puts me straight.

I can inform myself, "Take a look at this. I did this. I did something efficient today."

I can look at whatever that thing is and be happy that it came from my head to my hands. I created something from nothing. Since of me, that thing exists. It's a prideful moment that helps me put things into viewpoint.

Or perhaps I'll talk with one of the kids I sponsor in the Dominican Republic.

They definitely like speaking with their buddies in America-- and that feeling of pride comes back again. I made a child's day today. It's a tip that, regardless of that periodic sensation of insignificance, I can be good and do good.

Of course, what helps me might be meaningless to you.

And what assists you may be worthless to others. It does not matter; it's significant to you, so who cares? Discover your thing. It's your life, so simply live it and don't spend it stressing over things beyond your control. Do what unwinds you and what you're passionate about, and enjoy that immense pressure dissipate.

Everybody goes through it, and frequently.

Whatever your "pick me up" is, it doesn't even require to be for you personally. I know I instantly feel better about life when I can bring something of value into another individual's life. You are important to not just yourself, however others around you.

Acknowledge the Pressure We All Feel & & Then Talk to Someone

It appears that a great deal of us put ourselves under a lots of pressure to be doing something considerable and impactful with everything we carry out in our professions -- which pressure of needing to do that all the time suffices to drive anybody crazy.

But once again, the most important thing to understand is that others are experiencing the very same fears, stress factors, and anxieties you are.

We get caught up in competition at work, to a point where we are afraid to be susceptible with each other. Colleagues stop to be good friends and people, and instead become competitors in a struggle to advance.

Speak to them.

Others that remain in your role are the finest individuals to open to. You'll be surprised at how similar your situations are. Odds are they are or have actually gone through the specific same thing.

After that bitter cold early morning in February, I lastly talked with somebody here at EFFECT-- a man who started around the very same time as I performed in a comparable role. Over a couple of beers after work, we talked about life and our professions and what was occurring-- and quickly we recognized we were both feeling a great deal of the exact same things.

And for the very first time, I felt a weight lift-- I wasn't actually alone. While that was exactly what I required, the genuine worth of that discussion came afterward. No longer feeling isolated, I felt empowered to seek out others at IMPACT who could help me discover and develop the options I needed.

As it ended up, "they" were right. It-- whatever "it" may be for you-- will in fact pass.

It's everything about how you manage those stressful times and feelings of crippling self-doubt. So, the next time it occurs to you, stop and bring yourself back to focus by doing something that fulfills you. Talk to someone.

You're not alone. You'll make it through it. And you'll be better off when you do.

This content was originally published here.