#feels like satire

[donald-trump-official]

“The average US president has been convicted on .75 felonies” factoid isn’t true. average US president has been convicted on 0 felonies. Felonies Donld, who has been convicted on 34, is a statistical outlier adn should not have been counted

[secretmellowblog]

On the subject of the Titanic ‘submersible’ that was lost in the deep with all its wealthy tourists— it’s so insane/eerie in hindsight to read this article from the Smithsonian that interviews the CEO Stockton Rush long before the disaster.

Despite the Smithsonian supposedly being an organization that cares about science and truth, and the fact that there were SO MANY obvious red flags from the beginning and so many people criticizing the company…..the article is a puff piece uncritically glorifying the CEO’s obviously terrible submersible project. It compares him in glowing terms to Elon Musk. It is an article about how private ventures like those of Stockton Rush and Elon Musk can and should be the future of the world.

We’ve obviously learned now that there were whistleblowers at the company who were warning for a long time that Stockton Rush’s submersible was unsafe— only to be fired and then sued. It makes sense the submersible was so unsafe, because the CEO in this interview is open about how he has no background in underwater engineering and is annoyed by quote “regulations that needlessly prioritize passenger safety.”

Soon after, the private [submersible] market died too, Rush found, for two reasons that were “understandable but illogical.” First, subs gained a reputation for danger. Working on offshore rigs in harsh locations like the North Sea, saturation divers, who breathe gas mixtures to avoid diving sicknesses, would be taken in subs to work at great depths. It was the world’s most perilous job, with frequent fatalities. (“It wasn’t the sub’s fault,” says Rush.) To save lives, the industries moved toward using underwater robots to perform the same work.

Second, tourist subs, which could once be skippered by anyone with a U.S. Coast Guard captain’s license, were regulated by the Passenger Vessel Safety Act of 1993, which imposed rigorous new manufacturing and inspection requirements and prohibited dives below 150 feet. The law was well-meaning, Rush says, but he believes it needlessly prioritized passenger safety over commercial innovation (a position a less adventurous submariner might find open to debate). “There hasn’t been an injury in the commercial sub industry in over 35 years. It’s obscenely safe, because they have all these regulations. But it also hasn’t innovated or grown—because they have all these regulations.”

The fact that Stockton Rush (who was piloting the submarine when the disaster happened) is on record complaining about the evils of regulations that prioritize people’s safety, and the Smithsonian uncritically regurgitated that rhetoric in their glowing puff piece about how rich tycoons like Elon Musk and Stockton Rush are going to save the world is just…..in hindsight of how everything ended it’s just so much horrible black comedy? It’s like a satire about the dangers of uncritically worshipping the rich.

It is mentioned in the article that Rush chose to make his submersible in a different shape, and with a different (cheaper) material than is usually used for submersibles. The article frames this as a result of daring innovation, and not of negligence/ignorance. This passage in particular, which in context is supposed to portray Rush’s critics as joyless naysayers who were proven wrong by the noble tycoon, is pretty foreboding in hindsight:

Rush planned to pilot the sub himself, which critics said was an unnecessary risk: Under pressure, the experimental carbon fiber hull might, in the jargon of the sub world, “collapse catastrophically.”

And then!!

The exact problem that happened to Titan this weekend, happened on Titan’s very first test voyage to the Titanic! The experimental carbon fiber hull had an issue and it caused communications to break down!

The dive was going according to plan until about 10,000 feet, when the descent unexpectedly halted, possibly, Rush says, because the density of the salt water added extra buoyancy to the carbon fiber hull. He now used thrusters to drive Titan deeper, which interfered with the communications system, and he lost contact with the support crew. He recalls the next hour in hallucinogenic terms. “It was like being on the Starship Enterprise,” he says. “There were these particles going by, like stars. Every so often a jellyfish would go whipping by. It was the childhood dream.”

Both Rush and the article writer treat this as a fun quirky story, instead of a serious safety failure and red flag with his experimental macgyvered regulation-flaunting submersible.

Other highlights from the article include:

Stockton rush saying that if 3/4 of the planet is water, why haven’t we monetized it?

Stockton saying we will “colonize the ocean long before we colonize space”

Lots of weird pro colonialism stuff in general??? This article loves colonialism and thinks it’s cool

Rush saying he plans for this to eventually help find more underwater resources for the US to exploit and profit from

Elon musk comparisons. The article writer does not mention that Elon Musk’s rockets explode and therefore it would be a bad idea to get in one of them, because that would imply it’s a bad idea to get into the submersible

Stockton rush seeing himself as Captain Kirk

The article writer comparing the tourists who plan to join Rush to Englishmen who went on colonialist journeys to Africa as if that’s like, a good thing. So much pro colonialism stuff in this article

So many sentences about Stockton Rush being handsome when he literally just looks like some guy

The article beginning with an editor’s note from years later disclaiming that the extraordinary submersible they’re advertising in this article is uh. It’s now uhhhh

But yeah it really does just bring home how so many organizations that supposedly care about scientific truth or journalistic integrity are willing to uncritically platform propaganda for wealthy CEOS. It’s frustrating how easily people fall for the fake myths that careless wealthy people invent for themselves, and even more frustrating that supposedly respectable institutions will platform irresponsible lies that end up getting people killed.

Rush is such an obvious and simple example of this, and his negligence is “only” killing five people including himself. But to me it feels like a cautionary tale to bear in mind when it comes to uncritical puff piece media coverage of similar “daring tycoon innovations” by people like Bezos or Musk.

[eggirrum]

I recently got into ultrakill, and I made something on roblox to show my love for the game!

This took me 3 days of actual drawing and 5 or more days of procrastination. Procrastination days were between day 2 and day 3.

I might redraw this on ibis or infinite painter, just to make it look a little better. Give it more....pizazz...? Idk don't care IM REALLY PROUD OF THIS

[acotarfrustrations]

Feysand wasting time and arguing like 12 year olds over who's the most jealous and rhys getting so mad that he almost starts hyperventilating because feyre smiled at another man when they have limited time to infiltrate a foreign palace and steal a precious heirloom (from someone that they could easily negotiate with) is a very good example of why none of the IC, these two especially, are not fit to rule

[crazy-fangirl2524]

Andrew Minyard puts on his black combat boots and black armbands. He wears his black hoodie because Andrew is not like other boys. His newest teammate Neil Josten has an aura of danger that Andrew knows he is better off not getting close. But Andrew cannot help it. He is like a moth drawn to a flame. Neil’s untamed auburn hair that is never styled yet it is messy in an effortless way and his big blue orbs that must have a lot of hidden secrets. Andrew knows he should not play with fire but with that toned body Andrew minyard can not stay away.

Whatever, not like Neil josten would notice him anyways. He is the outcast in his teams and no one likes him. Neil josten would not care about him.

Imagine Andrew’s surprise when Neil josten joins him on the roof and shares his secrets. Andrew is right, Neil has a very dark past that is even darker than Andrew’s. Neil is involved in the mafia! But because Andrew is not like other boys he does not care and promise to protect Neil even though Andrew probably cannot do anything if anything happens. Neil probably has to be the one to save Andrew.

Neil also turns out to be loaded and he buys Andrew a car when his was destroyed and Andrew cannot say no to a Maserati.

Everyone else on the team is so shock when super attractive good looking Neil josten will choose to be with someone like Andrew minyard but Neil does not care and growls at anyone that says anything bad about Andrew.

[phoenixtakaramono]

There are only two episodes left in The Boys S4, but having seen the leaks and with what we got, I have some opinions.

My conspiracy theory is that they got too many cooks in the kitchen (writers in the writer’s room)—plus the writer’s strike and pandemic happening during this time—and it’s starting to make sense how they dropped the ball with this season.

[mississpissi]

i fucking love this podcast have i mentioned i love this podcast hey guys i really love this podcast

[weallpartyatybcpatricksfuneral]

ngl smile for the paparazzi is a genius song and I'm tired of pretending that cobra starship wasn't a genius band at times

[coastaltowned]

ttpd song predictions: the tortured poets department

what is it like to feel like you will always be hurting? you will always be the tortured poet, drawing pieces out of yourself to make art. your partner shuts you out or you shut out your partner and retreat into the misery because it's the only way to make sense of the world. you don't know how to exist if you aren't suffering. it must be exhausting.

[ravewing]

If Napoleon was in wings of fire what type of dragon would he be, I think he would be an icewing but idk

honestly ? its always been sort of in the back of my mind that hed be a seawing– i literally have no idea why !!

i feel like whenever i get into a new media, i subconsciously sort the characters (or in this case, people) into wof tribes. like i see bryce from hfjone as a sky/ice, the opabinia as a rainwing, washington as a mudwing, coach stopframe as a sandwing .. you get the idea .

i dont even have legitimate reasons for the majority of my 'tribe sorting' its literally all just based off of vibes🤷‍♂️🤷‍♂️

anywho i know you didnt ask but other napoleonic figure headcanons .. because im cringe ..

josephine would be a skywing i think ? maybe sky/rain

murat is definitely a sand/rain. like i know that as bones as i know that the sun rises. i can feel it in my heart

i think davout would be a sandwing, but my gut is telling me mudwing so im not sure ?

ney is a sand/night/sky (25% night 25% sky 50% sand). i feel like this is uber specific and might not make sense but its what my heart is telling me

tsar alexander is a rainwing . logically it doesnt make any sense but you guys just dont see my vision ..... but maybe an icewing too i dont really know. icewing actually is better now that i think about it

frederick iii is maybe a nightwing ? i dont know very much about him though so this could be very incorrect. i could see him as a seawing too though

fouche is a sandwing 100%

lannes is also a seawing

bagration is definitely a skywing like i dunno he has a very skywing-esque face .... but also perchance a sky/night.

barclay de tolly is a sea/sand ? question mark ?? i dont know much about him either

talleyrand is a rainwing but in the way that chameleon is a rainwing

yeag i dont think most of these make any sense but if you guys could borrow my brain you would understand . i think my founding father headcanons are more on-point because im a lot more familiar with them

[macdenlover]

.

[pastelpousay]

Draw Hades pregnant with you

Is this what you wanted??😭 (BTW THIS IS SATIRE 💀DONT CANCEL ME PLEASE)

Just letting you know this took years off my life

SORRY I HAVE TO ADD THE TAGLIST I CANT NOT😭💀💀

Sorry to the poor souls who have to witness this: @re3tro0 @delicatestringbean @maddieinheaven @glacier-alchemist @persephoneflowerpetals @dreamwinged

Once again im so sorry 💀💀💀💀💀

[mishkakagehishka]

I love having one (1) tumblr blog for everything bc it's like "i don't think my dad actually even likes me. Anyway come look at my blorbos. Also i'm thinking about writing a satirical novel"

[chaos-potat]

Getting something off my chest.....

I'm gonna say it now because I'm tired of pretending like this is okay, being straight is the natural one guys, how many animals out there are gay??

Oh, Penguins? Wait, Giraffes too? Oh, Dolphin, whales and- WHATEVER, WE'RE NOT DUMB ANIMALS WE KNOW BETTER, boys kissing boys is literally so gross and wrong and ugh

People should know better than that, the world is so stupid and stinky now 🙄🙄🙄 Go back to the days of straight people where the men were off to war having manly fun together doing who knows what without their wives and the woman were having fun together doing who knows what without the men like true christians!!!1!!! Lots of woman in a house alone together being heterosexuals same with men being alone together

It is not normal to be gay like this!!! Why is it being normalized, I feel like I'm the only true nice Christain rottmnt artist on Tumblr!!! I am a good Christian man only like woman guys!!! Men are so gross and I would never kiss any Splinter because I'm straight!!!! No Draxum, no Hob, no Baxters, no Bishop!!!! Gross, I would never kiss a man!!! Like, I can say they're hot and I want to hold hold hands and go on a cute date and kiss them but that's not gay!!! I like woman because it's normal1!!!111!!!

Also rise Leo is straight

[lalagoona]

I don't usually make "callout posts" or whatever but yeah report this bigot

[thegreatimpersonator]

I hate taylor sooo much, why did she have to win so many vmas? never in her life did she deserve artist of the year or video of the year. I need her to fuck off and never come back.

is this satire 😭