#feeling genius may delete later

[eri-pl]

The wyrd of Elves is woven, the wyrd of Men is knitted.

[akuma-tenshi]

hello fellow idv'ers i made a twitter thread on ithaqua, nathaniel, the morningstar essence, and its parallels to the canon story and how it's basically itha's power fantasy

full transcript + the pictures i used under the cut if you don't want to / can't use twitter (completely understandable), just a warning it is LONG

the post i was quoting got deleted before i could finish this. so anyway here's a thread on my thoughts on the morningstar essence, its parallels to itha and nathaniel's dynamic in canon, and how i think it's the perfect example of canon themes in an essence

before i start: this may be heavy on speculation on itha's personality. itha is a character who feels like we're given both a lot of content on his personality and none at all, so if what i say comes off as a reach, take it with a grain of salt. i'm not the arbiter of itha.

also this thread is not very nice to nathaniel. he's grown on me as a character after looking more into him for a fic but itha isn't nice to him here so i won't be either. i also refer to ithaqua as itha for the sake of the character limit. i'm aware that isn't is full name.

so my best friend and i have talked about this at length, and it's been in my thoughts for a while. at the end of the day, morningstar is itha's power fantasy, the strength he wished he had over nathaniel. at the end of the day, he won, he killed nathaniel, but nathaniel perhaps got off easy in his eyes. a quick death was possibly a mercy, as he couldn't really afford to make him suffer; at the end of the day, itha likely cares a lot more about protecting his mother than hurting her tormentor, meaning he just needed nathaniel out of the way.

however, it's likely itha wishes nathaniel did suffer. it's very interesting how in morningstar's trailer (which will be referenced a lot here), he's portrayed in chains, very similarly to how itha's mother is seen in her captivity in itha's original trailer.

and while yes, "show the character chained up if they're imprisoned" is just imagery 101, it's still an interesting parallel, and i doubt it's a coincidence. the difference here is that nathaniel is the one in chains, not itha or his mother; nathaniel is the powerless one.

it all really screams "i'm going to make you suffer the way you made my mother suffer", and while that isn't the theme of the essence itself, it's absolutely something that carries through from itha's original story. the use of themes that only really hit right if you take in the context of the original character is honestly a genius way to get people invested not only in the essence storyline, but the character as well, and like mentioned above, they use it a lot. however i do think it's best applied when it comes to the morningstar essence.

another interesting detail is that nathaniel was a king in the morningstar essence, being literally referred to as a "walking sun". and it takes this a lot further than just "parallels with itha and his mother" — instead of being in a disadvantaged position and persecuted for simply being a scapegoat, nathaniel is in a position of power — one that was possibly unjust or cruel, given other skins in the essence; we'll get to that later — and fell, was overthrown by his brother who was cast out. again, mirroring their dynamic in canon.

again, i'll get to the "possibly unjust ruler" thing later, but the idea that itha is less interested in a direct reversal of their roles and more in making nathaniel "fall from grace", and that being, in his eyes, a more fitting punishment than what he got, is fascinating to me.

i also want to discuss the use of colours. in canon, itha and nathaniel are opposites — itha's association with cooler, darker colours (mostly black / grey with a bit of bluish-teal) against nathaniel's brighter, fiery red cloak.

morningstar initially took me aback because it's such a departure from the theme we'd seen with this hunter: a character heavily associated with ice and wind and snow being given an s-tier that is so heavily reliant on reds and fire and sun imagery. but it makes so much sense if you think about how he's now in nathaniel's place. the tormentor, the jailor, the king dressed in fiery red. notice how he still keeps the darker colours: black still dominates his design, with the red cloak (a clear imitation of nathaniel's) taking on a much darker shade than the reds commonly associated with nathaniel. every bright colour used is either toned down or contrasted against something darker. and not only does that fit with the eclipse theme — a bright sun covered by a dark mass — but also itha's reflection or imitation of nathaniel.

so about the "unjust king" idea. this doesn't really come through in the original trailer, but it's expanded upon in the descriptions of the skins themselves. and while i do think the idea is a little confused and not fully realised, it does add some context to the story.

first of all, uh.. slavery exists!! or existed. it's made clear in the descriptions of the encroached, the chosen, the suffered, and (possibly) the zealot's descriptions that there was a clear class divide, with a suffering under-class and privileged upper-class.

this is also mentioned in the design / story notes of the essence. that under nathaniel, there was a clear divide between the classes, and that with itha's help, the enslaved / outcasted were able to rise up, help overthrow his brother, and establish a new order in the chaos.

it's clear that nathaniel's "order" could only be maintained with this hierarchy, and when it's challenged and overthrown, he and the tower fall, replaced with itha's "chaos". again, it's not a fully realised story and has its holes, but it's fitting nonetheless.

it's also mentioned in the description for morningstar. "witness them break free from their shackles and bring down the sun" is not only a banger line imo, but also a VERY strong connection to itha's position and how, despite being in a "weaker" position than nathaniel, he was still able to overpower and kill him. the idea of an oppressed under-class rising up and overthrowing their oppressors is not only a common storyline, but also very much matches to itha, thrown away and forgotten, besting nathaniel, who was raised to be more powerful.

there are also luchino and "nathaniel"'s descriptions, which convey the idea of itha being born into this position but being cast out, only to return later, which is present in both storylines.

in canon, itha was believed to be stillborn. not wanting his birth to be a stain on the family, his parents abandoned him in the woods and claimed nathaniel as their only son. the "witch" took him in and raised him as her child before she was captured by nathaniel and his mob and itha had to kill nathaniel in order to rescue her. itha being cast out against his will in both storylines — being abandoned at birth due to his "stillbirth" in canon, and being sentenced to death / exiled in the morningstar essence — only to return and exact his revenge is an interesting addition that further ties the two stories together.

one more detail i'd like to include before finishing this thread is the inclusion of talk of gods (including false ones) and demons. morningstar is clearly inspired by lucifer, who is also referred to as both the morning star and helel (which is not just a fandom name; morningstar is referred to as helel in the official backstory to the essence). i won't get too into the religious stuff but lucifer is known to have been cast out of heaven for proclaiming himself to be above god — also a crime committed by itha in the essence.

i could do a whole other thread on the religious ties in this essence, but that's the long and short of it. there's a lot of discussion of the "word of god" and "beliefs", and even references to the tower of babel, another biblical tale.

so why am i talking about this? first of all, witch hunts, which nathaniel and itha's backstory heavily draws from, were not only infamously known for targeting almost exclusively women, but were also religiously motivated. those who led them believed they were doing the righteous thing by hunting down these "witches", and that they were only doing what was right in the eyes of god. nathaniel himself was most likely religious; i can't speak on itha, but i do think he at least knew of religion, with his talk of gods and demons in his trailer.

and that gets into my second point. in itha's trailer, he talks a good bit about gods and demons, particularly their atrocities committed against his mother. the use of and references to religion in this trailer are put front and center and expanded on in the morningstar essence, helping to give more light to the themes touched on in itha's trailer.

in conclusion, while i don't think the morningstar is the very best essence, i do think it's incredible and is the best example of the creators taking a theme that's present in the original story, expanding on it, and making something wholly new and incredible.

i hope this thread has been interesting and perhaps given a new appreciation for both itha and his essence. thank you so much for reading if you got this far. tune in next week where i analyse all of ganji's skins to make a point about how integral freedom is to his character /j

[venus-is-thinking]

Deciphering the DRDT Character Playlist

Hello DRDT community! @accirax and I took a look at the official character song playlist [remade version bc it got deleted or privated] and decided to take our own shot at figuring out whose is whose and what it means. It's pretty late, but we have at least some sort of a guess with reasoning for every song!

We used a combination of Genius lyrics, the vocaloid lyrics wiki, and google translation of Japanese lyrics in the YouTube description to get a decently functional interpretation of every song. Our theory goes through the songs in the order they show up on the playlist (we're pretty positive it isn't kill order), which means our confidence varies heavily from song to song. With that being said, let's go!

Diamond is Unbreakable by Yunno Kago: Ace Markey

This song does not have many lyrics, so a lot of our guess is based on vibes (though it gives much more than some other songs). The rock instrumental with more yell-based vocals feels like it suits Ace though, and I feel safe to say that Ace has had a breakdown (and may have many more in the future).

Sing Along by Sturgill Simpson: Teruko Tawaki

This song fits Teruko quite well. It has an edgier sound to it, but it isn't completely uncaring if you look at the lyrics.

I can't go on living alone now that you're gone You done me wrong, so here's your song

It reminds me of the scene where she plays with the cacti. She clearly misses Xander (and possibly others in her past), but that obviously doesn't stop her from feeling betrayed by them either.

There are a lot of lyrics about bitterness too (ex. "words can stab as deep as night," "bitter air and the winds of spite"), which reflect how Teruko has been treating the rest of the cast in Chapter 2. It's a duality of caring too much and acknowledging the harshness of the world, which encapsulates Teruko's character quite well.

RUNAWAY by half alive: Hu Jing

Not gonna lie, we were struggling on this one. This song is pretty much entirely predictive of a character arc that Hu might have later on. We're predicting this based on Hu's secret quote, which is basically the only reason we gave this song to her: "I want to pay for what I've done. But even then, I still want to live."

This implies that she has not paid for "what [she's] done," which probably relates to her secret. I know a lot of people think she might be the hopeless child, but I'm far more partial to the theory that Hu is the one who poisoned her competition. If she hasn't paid for it, it's possible she feels like she ran away, from the situation which could open the door for her handling those feelings later on.

cartoons by Louie Zong: Rose Lacroix

This entire song is about drawing and thought processes, which both relate to Rose's character pretty strongly. The recurring lyric of "it's all just cartoons in [her] head" makes me think of her photographic memory, which takes real life and permanently stores it in her mind.

There are also lyrics like "feeling every day the same" and "trying to make that old deadline" that strongly relate to her background with the Spurling Foundation. She feels like she's just watching the rest of her life go by as a corporate slave, and those feelings are wrapped up in a light and airy song, matching Rose's demeanor.

asymptotic by Louie Zong: Charles Cuevas

This is a silly little nerd love song. As a CharWhit shipper, I definitely think that there's a strong chance that this relates to Charles' feelings about Whit, calling him a "cutie face in x-y space" and other such things. It's pretty simple, but it's true that, romantic or not, a lot of Charles' character arc thus far has revolved around his relationship with Whit and realizing that he does enjoy spending time with his classmates.

However, notably, there's also the lyric "I'll forget," which made me start thinking about Charles' past he forgot about.

Asymptotic, obliquely Here's the point of this speech As close as we could ever get, you'll be just out of reach

This reads to me as being about Charles' memories or the older brother he doesn't remember losing. As close as he can get to remembering or understanding what happened through things like the secrets motive, it won't be the same as actually returning to that past or remembering it in full. Maybe that's reading into things a little too hard, but I think the interpretation is there to be read.

A Mistaken Belief of Love by Niru Kajitsu: Eden Tobisa

I'll be direct: this relates to our theories about how Eden is the Chapter 2 killer. I'm a particular proponent of the interpretation that Eden didn't believe Arei when she said she wanted to be friends and decided she wanted to escape back to her old life, to the girl she kissed. I'm not going to go into that Eden theory now, but @/1moreff-creator and @/thebadjoe have a great thread going back and forth which goes over a lot of what I personally believe to be true.

If you assume that Eden is the killer and wanted to be Arei's friend but gave up on the possibility when Arei snapped at her, the lyrics start to make sense. "Then I'll kill you at our rendezvous" would clearly relate to Eden summoning Arei to the playground just to kill her. "I just wanted to mistakenly believe that you loved me" relates to Eden's feelings towards Arei and the rest of the class, but that "mistaken belief" was shattered, causing her to kill.

Shunran by John/TOOBOE: Arei Nageishi

This song chronicles Arei's entire character arc, from prologue to death. It starts out much more aggressive and unfriendly, saying things like "I won't pay attention to small fry" and "I become angry easily." However, there's a recurring lyric that shows how she actually feels.

They say that praying to be loved is a sin. It has such a sweet scent.

Arei desperately wants to be loved, for people to be nice to her, but she's learned over the course of her life that she couldn't have that. Still, she can't help but want to be loved, so even when she knows that David is a manipulator, she still listens to his words. Even when she knows she's been awful to Eden, she swears she'll do anything to prove to Eden that she's serious, that she really does want to be her friend.

I pledged a ceasefire. My personality peeled off and fell because I have the courage to accept disappointment

As the song progresses, that desperate desire to be loved creeps its way into the actions the singer takes as well. Arei was willing to put aside her meanness she learned as a defense and try to stop the fighting, try to become friends, because she's strong enough to try even if she might fail. Through it all, all she wants is to be loved.

Yesman by Niru Kajitsu and Hachiya Nanashi: Nico Hakobyan

This song has a lot of lyrics relating to how the singer expresses scorn or insults. We know that this is a focal point of Nico's struggles with communication: they don't know what comes across as hostile or helpful.

However, as the song progresses, it gets more purposefully aggressive. There's a particular set of lines that seem to relate to how Nico interacts with Ace. They can tell Ace that they hate him, directly, and no one even blames them.

You could say that and you're still just a kid. How amazing!

This, in my mind, relates to Nico saying that they'll kill Ace (and clearly meaning it), but Hu still babies them. They can get away with all kinds of things.

There's no reason for me to turn back now, huh? I was caught in my own trap

Nico then, realizing that they can get away with a lot, goes after Ace, trying to literally kill him. They were caught, though, explaining the second lyric here.

The song also has a prominent lyric: "I'm an introvert, just waiting." There are variations on this, but I think it gets across the core idea: Nico is quiet, but they're still a part of the story the whole time, waiting for an opportunity to get their way.

Undead Enemy by Suzumu and Giga P: David Chiem

This song hinges around David's false persona of smiles and motivation and his true self who hates everything and everyone.

For whatever reason, he put on a mask symbolizing The leading role he had yearned for in the past.

Here, David is choosing to put on that motivational speaker persona.

And, from the next day onward, The unhappy boy's smile did not falter, He was even loved by someone

David then keeps up that happy and inspirational self, without fail, so that the world will love and accept him as the Ultimate they expect him to be.

However, the lyrics are filled with more hateful lines that sound more like him in Episode 11.

Slander and criticize, and then, I won't need anyone else. Just leave me alone

I act spitefully in disgust and force a smile

While he pretends to be happy and good, he knows himself to be much worse. This song focuses on those true colors.

Drawing Pins by Nothing but Thieves: Levi Fontana

Levi is a very pensive character. The main line of the song is "tell me what you did it for, 'cause I can't figure it out." That could relate to Levi's apparent struggles to understand others and what the "correct" thing to do in social situations is, like when he asks others how to handle the situation with Ace. I also like the interpretation that he could be talking to himself, wondering why he did what he did in the past. (Whatever mysterious past Levi has, it's clear that he did some things he's not thrilled about, and he seems to have a lot of feelings surrounding it.)

What do I have to do To be loved, loved by you

I'm personally not an AceVi shipper, but this line would definitely relate to Ace. Levi messed up in the first trial, threatening Ace, but in Chapter 2, he's trying to make up for it. Nothing he seems to do works, though, so he's at a loss as to what he could possibly do to make it up to him.

Hi-Fi Evolution Theory by Keu Studio: Veronika Grebenshchikova

Disclaimer, we had to put this song through google translate, so our lyrics might not be entirely correct.

Given that, though, I'm pretty confident this song must be Veronika's. There are a lot of lyrics that indicate her, but the most important ones surround what we've most recently learned about her: she can't stand boredom and will do just about anything for fun.

But is it selfish to have fun?

The one who laughs last is the winner

Even though Veronika knows that enjoying the killing game or possibly even working against the group's best interests in it is stupid at best and evil at worst, she'll still do it as long as it keeps her entertained. If she's selfish, she's selfish; she'll do it either way.

tip toes by half alive: Min Jeung

This song heavily ties into Min's outlook which she explains in her bonus episode. The lyrics mention a "need to be known," or a "pride" that's "screaming." She internalized a core need to become an Ultimate to keep her going forward and to preserve her hope.

She does want to change her behavior, though.

My future will listen to me, Listen to me, listen to me

Min is trying desperately to find a life for herself now that she's become an Ultimate. She wants to learn how to live after she's achieved the goal that her entire life has centered around. This song is her searching for the life that she wants to live in spite of her previous experience.

The song also sounds sort of desperate with its repetition of "listen to me" and the overall vibe of the instrumental. This fits in with Min's increasing desperation as she realizes, at the end of the first trial, that she won't have a future to figure out anymore.

Polygonal by fallstay (ふぁるすてぃ): Xander Matthews

This one was also put through google translate, so apologies for any mistranslations!

This song makes sense for Xander if you consider his clear survivor's guilt, visible through both his bonus episode and his secret quote, which is, in the most literal way possible, the dictionary definition of survivor's guilt. It mentions a "life full of mistakes" and describes other similar thoughts.

I'm dizzy and it hurts so much that I feel like throwing up

The urge to scream and someone's loud sobbing

That's my pain

These all feel like ways Xander interprets his past, which is his pain. We already know that Teruko accidentally running into him and hitting his eye hurt so badly he passed out, which is a step beyond "dizzy." Someone could be sobbing about his past; maybe it's even him. The things in his past that haunt him are what shape who he is and his actions, and that's what this song is about.

Spitfire (05 Version) by The Prodigy: J Rosales

This one has like one lyric. The vibes fit J though, and I don't really know who else's it would be or what other song would be hers, so it stays.

desk rotation by RQ laji-2: Arturo Giles

I'm not gonna lie. This is an instrumental. We have no idea what it means. This was process of elimination. I don't know what other song Arturo's would be so he gets this one.

(In all seriousness, you COULD give this one to Hu because it's music and she's a musician, give Arei the more hopeful RUNAWAY and give Arturo Shunran. The beginning of Shunran fits him decently, but I think the interpretation sort of falls apart in the middle of the song, at least given what I know about his character, and I think it fits Arei much better.

After we read some other theories, too, we think there's a viable shuffle that goes like this:

desk rotation: Hu (musical connection) tip toes: Arturo (generally prideful, future emphasis contrasting with his secret forcing him to think about the past) asymptotic: Min (abstracted to apply to the life she wants to seek out, math works as Ultimate Student) RUNAWAY: Charles (relating to him "running" from his past memories, positive growth arc)

While I still like our initial interpretations for Charles asymptotic and Min tip toes, I like the handling of RUNAWAY and desk rotation better with this one.)

For whatever it's worth, I also think there's a slight possibility that desk rotation is a placeholder song. It's a complete instrumental (all other songs have at least SOME lyrics), so it wouldn't be too insane to me if they had a song that they decided was just too spoiler-y to be released to the public. In that case, I think it's possible desk rotation will one day be replaced with a different song. Realistically, though, it's probably just here and we have to figure out what the hell it means.

Good Grief by Bastille: Whit Young

Whit obviously lost his mother at some point, who he clearly idolizes. You can see the glowing way he talks about her in the laundry room with Teruko and Charles, and his secret quote is literally "We tend to idolize the dead." He loves his mother, but given his secret, it's clear that she is dead.

This song is about grief. Whit represses a lot of his emotions, so I expect he hasn't yet felt his grief in full and hasn't processed it. He has, however, made it very clear that he struggles with loneliness, and that has a lot to do with his loss. I think that, over the course of the story, he's going to have to actually process grief and experience sadness. While it's possible that'll just be due to the feelings he has surrounding his mother, given that he's in a killing game, I think that he'll have to confront personal loss again to have this arc.

Regrettably, I think that that'll probably come in the form of Charles dying, likely as a Chapter 3 victim. Others have theorized on that, but suffice it to say that, narratively and based on hints they've dropped, I think it's probably true ( :( ). Whit, as he clearly cares about Charles, would then be confronted with grief again. He'd have to endure it and learn to deal with the loss.

On the plus side, I'd expect he'd be likely to survive afterwards.

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Alien vs Predator: An Honest Review

Be warned, this is a long and detailed review below that contains spoilers for a nearly 20 year old movie. You'll be surprised by what I say.

I literally just watched the movie. The unrated version because I thought with the added deleted scenes and attempts to make it more R rated may help it out.

I think it's well known or more recently that I'm a big Alien and Predator fan. I wanna say I'm more of a Predator fan, yet I'm still a big fan of Alien. But this also means I actually love the AVP concept. I love the video games; I love the comics. I kind of want to say the original AVP story is my "The Dark Knight Returns" or some stupid shit. And I love AVP 2 2001. To be honest, these two franchises actually fit so well with each other. That I do like seeing the Predator franchise being this "Prequel" series in a sense to the Alien series. Or just the idea they both exist in one timeline. But the movies...

I also wanna reveal something despite I likely have already revealed it before. It was because of that one film from 2004. I was basically introduced to both franchises at the same time. I feel like that may have ruined my perspective on each franchise. But that's another story. But what makes this film special is that this was the reason I'm even a fan of both. This film is the reason I'm writing this now. And it's been years since I've seen the original.

This year, Alien vs Predator will become 20 years old on August 6th. Today is the 37th anniversary for the original Predator. And thanks to two dudes on Discord for encouraging me to make this surprise review of the movie because I was thinking I shouldn't do it. I kept not wanting to watch this movie because of my developed feelings over it. I had a review kind of planned in my head. Especially for AVP Requiem and that's a review I wanted to write EVEN BEFORE I WATCHED IT AGAIN.

But you know what surprised me...despite me being more critical about this film...

I liked it. I still liked it. I wanna say I love it. But I think more so...I genuinely liked it.

But here's what I'm going to do. No, I'm not going to endlessly praise the film, nor am I going to tear it apart. I'm going to review it like any normal movie in a way. I want to list the negatives first. Because this is what I want to get out of the way and be clear about. The stuff that bothers me.

Here's the major thing, and it's not really the writing of the characters, the story, or whatever else...it's the time the movie is set in.

Also, I want to make it clear. For the problems the two AVP movies have, I blame 20th Century Fox for not giving these films higher budgets and whatever else. I'm also blaming John Davis or wanting to set these films on modern Earth. Because while I do agree with people there are problems with Paul W.S. Anderson as a director. Even though I praise the fact he doesn't give a fuck about what critics think. I genuinely believe this dude tried his best with this film, and like what he said. He wanted to respect more franchises. Even though I will always remember the special features that he seemed like he was a bigger Alien fan than Predator. He truly liked both.

I still believe him setting the movie in Antarctica, one of the most remote or isolated places on the planet is actually genius. He knew what he was doing. This also goes into something I like about the movie with its setting. But I'm talking about the time period. And why I still have a problem with this movie, even if I like the fact Anderson understood why it had to be set there. I also think it's really neat Dan O'Bannon and Ronald Shusett were involved with the story. The guys behind the story of the original Alien. Even though the screenplay is still by Anderson.

But again...there's still a problem. And this is related with the Alien franchise and what was one of the major things in that series. Even in the first movie and adding the later movies. One of the major things Ripley and others were trying to do was to keep the Alien away from Earth. Because the idea of even one of those creatures got on Earth, so much horrible shit would happen. You have comics like the "Earth War" that really delve into that and it's a major theme with those Alien movies. Hell, even the ending of Alien 3 includes that powerful moment of Ripley sacrificing herself to make sure the chestburster inside of her is never taken by Weyland Yutani. That's still a pretty powerful send off to her character, even with how I feel about Alien 3.

So, by setting this story on Earth in 2004. Which is 118 years I think before the events of Alien...it still feels like a middle finger to that series. I also feel like it just diminishes the powerful effect of the Nostromo finding the Derelict Ship on LV-426. And it's feels...horrifically ironic that Lex's words about, "Everything everybody will die." feels completely like or...not ignored or...it's still amazes how this film later on is all about making sure the Aliens don't get to the surface...but the next film IMMEDIATELY A DAY OR MAYBE HOURS OR MINUTES...the town of Gunnison, Colorado is fucked. I think again, a middle finger to well...fuck...just...let's move on.

Yeah, I still feel like this film should've taken place after Aliens or Alien 3. I have already written a reblog about what I would've changed for the film. But back to the point. That's my biggest problem with this movie.

My other issue with this film is well, the characters. Yet to be honest, I didn't really hate any of them. The characters in the film were actually pretty decent. But the problem is along with the film itself is that they aren't really I guess that interesting. Or what I wanted to say, they're all more like NPC's you meet in a video game. Sure, I actually got a few laughs out of the movie from Ewen Bremner's character Miller. No one is annoying and everyone does their part. But there isn't really a lot of huge character development. I don't think there's a specific theme to the movie except maybe like, "What do you want to be remembered for after you die?" but still, it doesn't feel like that. Yet that seems to be the major theme of the movie.

Back to the characters. None of them are annoying. The problem is while they're decent. They are sadly pretty much canon fodder and while Stafford's death is pretty horrific along with others. You don't really care for these characters. The most developed character is Alexa Woods. Yet I question if it's really character development. But she's a fine character. Again, I didn't hate anyone. But they're all pretty much basic characters you feel like you'll meet in a video game or something. Or even...I guess cartoon characters. But even then, they don't feel like that. They don't hold up much to the likes of the Nostromo crew or the Marines in Aliens, or even Dutch and his team. Or Hell, even Naru from Prey and any other characters from some of the other movies.

I'll also admit this, I'm not too big on the idea of "Predators teaching humans to build pyramids" and making humans part of the well, the rituals and shit. But I just want to get back to writing about the positives. I felt there was no need to just...add that or whatever. But you would have to change the story in a way.

There's also the fact that even when watching the unrated version. The movie still feels PG-13. And that's a major issue. The film is technically inoffensive in a way. I mean, it can get tense maybe for a younger viewer or someone new to either franchise. But again, even with the added CGI blood in the unrated version, it still feels pretty tame. I kind of want to say this movie may feel like one of those TV movies you may see for a show or a cartoon and it's more tense. But that sounds so stupid. Even then, those kinds of movies are really good when they are well made by the people behind them.. It's just the fact when you hold this movie up to the likes of Alien, Aliens, Predator, Prey, and some others. You see where the problems are. In a way, I wanna say it almost feels like one of those video game movie adaptations that aren't the most well made. And it's amusing to say that because Anderson is very well known for his Resident Evil movies, and he also made that Monster Hunter movie.

Also, the other thing...the design of the Aliens. I don't like the fact with the film's lower budget, they basically took the designs from Alien Resurrection and just painted them black. Considering this is meant to be before the original Alien. I wish they somehow were able to make the Aliens were more biomechanical, similar to the likes of Big Chap from the original movie. I'm one of those fans that really holds HR Giger's design for the Alien in high regard. And as the years went on, while there are some designs I like. They just haven't been the best. Also, I hate the fact like with later movies, the life cycle just seems to be REALLY fast. They could've fixed the problem that maybe some Aliens were frozen already. But still, the fact this all happens IN A DAY. And the Aliens seems to grow within minutes possibly. I don't know if we get how many hours the characters are in the temple.

Alright, I think I got most of my negatives out of the way. But the last thing I'll say is the movie feels too short...or that's just me. I think I get what someone on Twitter said. Maybe an AVP movie is difficult with the time length. But I don't think a two parter should be needed. Maybe make it longer, even 3 hours.

But alright...time to the positives and well...yeah...

Again, the characters were pretty decent. I stand by that. I again, don't really hate anyone. I also shouldn't forget there was this possible theme of, "Corporations not looking out for the people" was kind of in here. But that's more so Weyland wanting to pretty much rush shit to get into the temple before other people do. But again, the characters were fine, everyone does their part.

And to be honest with you all. The setting and premise of the movie is actually perfect. My problem again is more so the timeline. If you had set this story on a colonized planet that's maybe similar to Earth, or it's an ice related one. I think it would've worked out fine. The whole idea with the pyramid changing every time, the blooding ritual for the Predators, and taking all of that. It's actually perfect. It can be scary; it can be suspenseful. But the film isn't really that. But again, the premise is actually fucking perfect. Especially pyramids/temples in this series aren't a new thing. We had a little bit of it in the 1999 AVP game and even AVP 2010 used it too in its own way.

I still like the idea of the Predators praising the Aliens as the ultimate prey. Or well, one of their favorite prey. And honestly, I legit feel like in this movie, instead of "Serpents", couldn't they have called them "Star Beasts"? I legit feel like that classic name for the original Alien screenplay is so raw, that needs to be an official name for the Alien again.

And you know what I really love? I love the fact from what we see in this movie, the Aliens are pretty damn smart. More so, Grid using his cut off tail to hit Celtic with acid blood, he hides away when Celtic is busy taking off the armor. Or the queen allowing her offspring to injure her to free her from her imprisonment. Even though, I don't think there are more moments. But I actually appreciate that the Aliens are treated as canon fodder. Granted, the humans were more so scientists/explorers. But we have merceries, yet we don't see any of them mowing them down. Granted, I also feel like compared to a Pulse Rifle which I recall has legit EXPLOSIVE ROUNDS. A mere submachine gun or even a regular M4A1 isn't going to kill a regular Alien. And...well, AVP Requiem decided to do things differently.

I will admit, the idea of AVP in modern day intrigues me. But it's pretty much wrong with concerning the Alien timeline. And while I love Aliens, and that movie treats the Aliens still like a threat, even if they can be killed. Big Chap got killed in the original Alien. I just know there are people who genuinely dislike the additions Aliens made even though the film still treated them like a threat. Even this film, the Aliens felt like they were taken seriously. Just like the Predators.

(But seriously, I'm getting tired of the Aliens slander. Big Chap got fucking stabbed with a harpoon gun.)

I actually don't mind the designs of the Predators. My biggest issues are more so the faces. They look less real and convincing and more like a mask. And there's the whole thing with the mandibles. But the more "Heroic" design or well, I want to call it more "Noble" looking armor. Overtime, I started to like it. Granted, I'm more of a fan of the designs of Diablo, Ghost and other Predators from the first two Predator movies. And I felt like Wolf outdoes the designs for the Predators in this film. Yet there's also the fact the more armored look is based upon the designs from the original AVP comic. I like that.

And I like Scar. Even though compared to the original AVP story this movie uses elements of. Scar isn't really a bad character or whatever. And I still genuinely like that development of Scar and Lex teaming up. It's actually done pretty well with not so much words, and more so actions. And to be honest about the people who...REALLY did not like this scene...

I think what makes the scene still work and let me compare the original comic. I think the original comic still works so much better because Dachande/Broken Tusk, compare to his Youngbloods he was going to lead on their ritual. He has never killed a human, and there's actually a build up to him being more of this "Heroic" figure. More so, the fact he's injured, he's captured by humans, but he's cared for by them, more so Miriam. And when Tichinde (An arrogant Bad Blood who assumed leadership of the Youngbloods after they assume Dachande had died) attempts to kill her, he saves her life and helps the humans. The development feels more natural.

Before seeing this movie again. I thought I understood criticisms from people because Scar did kill some of the mercenaries, and he kills Weyland. Like, the idea that Lex after all of that tries to team up with a creature that killed some human beings who may have had families. But she wasn't close with any of those people. Granted, that still sucks, and the way Scar acts is more so he doesn't want to team up with her. Until he gets the idea and well, she earns his respect. The development feels more like it's still treating Scar that he's still dangerous. But he's willing to side with a human that gains his respect. Treating him like an anti-hero, and less of a hero than Dachande.

I just want to say while I totally get the idea that there are fans who hate or don't like the expanded material with Yautja. They don't like the "Space Samurai" I get that. I do think there needs to be a balance. But people like LittleJimmy835 and others treat these films like tumors and just seem to want the Predators to remain well...really sick bastards. Granted, they are, but I like the idea of the species being "Chaotic Neutral". And what they did with Scar is actually pretty fine. Besides, from what I've read in expanded material, most of the species is xenophobic against humans. They're nearly all barbaric. The only really "Heroic" ones I've seen are Dachande, Scarface, (The dude mainly killed a giant criminal empire; he pretty much did the city a favor despite his failures at the start of Concrete Jungle), and the Alpha Predator as well, there are very few "Heroic" Predators. Most are gray or just evil...I need to read about "Big Mama" and how she's like.

Also, Harald Kloser did a pretty fine job with the score.

You know, I just want to complete this. And I think without adding some unnecessary crap I want to talk about. I think said everything I wanted to talk about. But yeah...I liked it. Even though to this day and I still believe the AVP films are better off as their own films and if there is ever another AVP film. I want it to be a reboot if it's going to be connected to the films again. I want something akin to AVP 2 2001. But that's a whole other story.

In a nutshell, 5/10.

Edit update, I want to share my reblog where I talked about what I would've changed about the movie. Where it still keeps the characters of Lex, Scar and Weyland in it. https://www.tumblr.com/geekgemsspooksandtoons/750585975858741248/sorry-this-took-a-while-to-respond-too-but-i?source=share

[five-thousand-loaves-of-bread]

hibike euphonium epi 12 spoilers. & mad vent. may delete later just need say it somewhere bc mad

it so interesting (derogatory) see complete opposite reactions between western audiences on tumblr who praising it as genius n great change & birth country audiences that collective mad as hell & call it betrayal (of the makers)

because yea spend years portray character growth n journey n failures n fights n never achieve goal only to have deus ex machina straight out of sky new character that swoop in save everyone achieve goal (in original works they win gold but would be epic show of all time if they change that too that would be so funny n match great with this change)

bc like if there actual skill difference between two performance n new character actually better then okay (like first season even if characters reversed). but to me n vast majority of birth country audience number 2 (aka main characters) actually better bc match n is actual have conversation between two instrument. versus first was just. “yeah am play instrument”

n reasoning even more “idk where came from.” feeling lost abt future but literally previous scenes show solved that told parents told teachers made decision. lost my ass

didn’t watch this for whatever logic for whatever thinking rational whatever. “well it logically make sense this way match show great pure theme of nothing work out perfect of skills first of this of that” still shit show shit change if complete crash down years of build up 👍

birth county do have problem with dismiss wlw n always been mad at that but after this episode it even made me go like. what the fuck. abt ship

n before this episode before this season. knowing atmosphere of japan & east asia in general n now the two character relationship portrayed (the two together but also main character hetero ship but also the two but also hetero——). it’s queerbating. n they never intend make two official n never will. as much as want see official wlw. you need stop view studio’s intention through liberal western perspective

.

like tumblr seem think mountain scene after audition make it better n is evidence of ship

but birth country audience think mountain scene is like. spoon full of shit make it worse make two relationship worse make plot worse make plot holes worth. n as much as want queer rep. agree

[helshades]

Near the middle of the 14th century (2011. It was 2011.) the young Thor fandom was debating whether the original script and deleted scenes from the first film could be regarded as canon, or not; famously, they didn't change the tone of the final film, or very little, only provided insight in some of the characters' actions: they were cut for runtime reasons more than to shift the narrative into something different. All, but one: in it, Frigga herself would officially entrust Loki with the throne whilst the King was thrall of the Odinsleep and his eldest son was banished, if temporarily, on Earth. 'The line of succession falls to you... My King.'

The first Thor movie has his imperfections but Marvel, as was often the case in those simpler, more innocent times, had a stroke of genius in hiring thespian and director Kenneth Branagh, renown for his fondness for Shakespeare and his daring love of grandeur. The actors worked together to make sense of the relationships and rapports between the characters; devising their innermost thoughts, their past, their current motivation, their shared experiences. Rene Russo and Tom Hiddleston decided on a nervous hand gesture that Loki would share with his mother, as her favourite son. The filmmakers agreed on the fact that the princes of Asgard had a happy childhood, but that Loki, the more cerebral one, grew into a complicated man with a taste for duplicity that got darker as he grew embittered at his situation as a youngest son, but that he loved his family no less.

This is even commented on in the first film by Fandral, who notes that 'Loki has always been one for mischief, but this [bringing Giants into Asgard] is something else entirely.' The first film chronicles Loki's rapid descent into madness because of the unfortunate conjunction of a very dangerous plan that failed—in part due to Loki being unaware of how vulnerable Odin truly was in his older days, as the King and Queen had hidden this from their sons—and the traumatic revelation of his true birth. To put it quite simply, Loki went too far and committed high treason just before learning that he was the biological child of his father's sworn enemy, and he was utterly overwhelmed by it all—and without either the wisdom of his father or the comradery of his brother to help him deal with it, and then his mother, seeking of course to reassure him (and not knowing what role her son played in the dramatic events), entrusted him with the fate of the entire planet and eight other Realms.

Thor is about the mirrored fall and rise of Asgard's two princes, transparently inspired by Shakespearean tragedies. It left Loki an outcast who may or mayn't find his way back home. Indeed, it was made abundantly clear in later films that this was what he wanted: Loki is a true prince of Asgard, a warrior of the realm, a defender of the throne, at heart. But he is also one tormented by insecurities, suffering for his need to find some sun for himself, as Frigga said to Thor in the sequel. Frigga who still saw the prince within the villain, as Thor grieved his brother and brother-in-arm, their lost childhood and innocence, feeling deep Loki's betrayal.

It is fundamental to realise that Loki never did try to seize the throne before the events of the first film, that indeed ruling only became an obsession after he precipitated himself into exile and convinced himself that the only way he could matter would be to carve a regal place for himself in Yggdrasil as a lord of men. Feeling powerless and off-balance, he sought power and stability. Thor and Loki loved and supported each other for their entire lives, even though they teased each other and played tricks on each other, as brothers. The deleted 'Throg' scene makes absolutely no sense for the character of Loki as he was put to film. It is a cheap attempt at grabbing mindless laughs from an audience largely disinterested in the original narrative, either because it is a new audience or because it is a segment of the fandom that lives in bad fanfiction.

It should be said again and again: the character from the televised series is not the character from the films. Not because he was plucked from his timeline right after the events of Avengers but because he doesn't speak, think, act or react like the character did in the films. He is being written by people who had no part in developing the original character for the screen; the Disney+ shows are only marginally canonical, and at the moment even the Cinematic Universe itself is narratively disjointed, full to the brim of continuity errors, largely directionless. As far as the Thor franchise is concerned, the fourth film was completely senseless and removed any meaning to all that happened before it, likely to bury the entire franchise with it...

So, no, I wouldn't readily consider the televised events canonical in the slightest.

@alwida10, @katbelleinthedark if you're passing by, I know what you like ;)

okay, so after seeing the full scene from the Blu-ray I actually hate it a lot less, because it seems pretty clear that Loki and Sylvie both had the same thought of playing the situation like they were still enemies, but then Ravonna showed up and suddenly Sylvie was slammed back into the mindset of that little girl getting her life ripped away from her. She wasn't genuinely upset until then.

on the other hand, I fucking hate the Frog Thor coronation scene with every fiber of my being capable of being devoted to things that don't actually matter, to the point that I would have had a hard time not ragequitting the entire show right then and there if they'd included it in the final cut and I'm having a hard time forgiving the fact that it was filmed, let alone released into the world as a deleted scene, and I really don't think even my usual obsessive desire to reconcile all parts of canon and most parts of almost-canon is going to help here

especially if any part of fandom starts acting like this is Just Canon Now as part of Thor and Loki's backstory. can't do it, y'all, this is a bridge too far for me, I will comprehensively lose my shit

(the whole point of what happened in the first Thor film is that Loki's actions came out of nowhere!! like the entire point!! I mean we can argue for a million years if the power-hungry bullshit and the blatant usurping and the peacocking demonstrate either a huge retconning or misrepresentation of his characterization in that film--they do, so of course that's my biggest objection, but it's also not the reason the scene makes no sense and cannot possibly be canon, and the reason is, nobody else in the movie would behave the same way if Loki had already made a credible (ridiculous, but still credible) and extremely public attempt to get rid of Thor and take the throne. Sif and the Warriors would be openly distrustful of him from the start instead of mostly dismissive and only later moving to distrust (can you imagine any of them letting Loki protect their backs or Thor's during the fight on Jotunheim if that stupid coronation scene really happened? really?), Odin would probably suspect Loki's involvement in the real interrupted coronation right away and punish him as well as Thor, and Thor in particular wouldn't keep blindly trusting him, which is why Loki is able to lie to him so well and why it hurts him so much to learn the truth.)

(I'll certainly accept as canon Loki turning Thor into a frog at some point and Thor smacking the shit out of him in revenge. I don't give a shit about that part. I mean, I already accepted half of that as canon because Loki wrote it into his stupid play in Ragnarok, so I figured it must have actually happened.)

[chiefdirector]

Dating Michael Morbius would include...

A/N: at the time of writing this, I don’t know much about Jared Leto but I do now (july 2022) I do not condone any of his actions, and I am not posting about his characters any more but I will not be deleting my work as I think that erasing content around someone problematic is like silencing an issue. If you would like, I am linking articles about Leto and his actions here, here and here

————

You would meet at work where you would be brought onto his team to create artificial blood

he would develop feelings for you silently, never speaking up as not wanting you to feel burdened to stay with a man living on borrowed time

but you would begin to notice as he may be a genius but emotional complexities aren't his forte

when you asked if he was okay, he would let his feelings tumble from his mouth, cursing himself as he did so

initially you'd laugh at the whole situation before you confessed you felt the same, kissed him on the cheek and got back to your work.

for the first time in his life, he was left dumbfounded.

As the end of the work day approached, he asked if you wanted to join him for dinner later in the evening at his apartment, leaving enough time for him to receive his treatment and for you to get dolled up as you put it

He would try to be romantic throughout your relationship

Flowers left on your desk

The occasional love letter tucked away

He kept a lot of trinkets from your time together

He did all these as a way to make up for him not being the most able bodied a lot of the time

Even though you would constantly tell him that you didn’t need him to be able bodied. You needed him to be himself

Milo would tease him relentlessly until he met you

Then he would just whisper to Morbius “Treat her well or I may just have to steal her myself.”

Movie nights are common as they allow for you to spend a few hours uninterrupted whilst not being too strenuous

Working together and being in a relationship can be hard so any arguments will be shortly diffused on Michaelend.

When he comes to experimenting with vampire bat DNA he would value your input.

Initially he would offer for you to take it if you also had a chronic condition but would retract that offer once he learns the consequences of his so called cure

You would keep track of his new abilities and help him try to curb the thirst

If you got hurt by his bloodlust, he would try to end the relationship to not see you hurt again

But you would stick by him as he had always done for you

As you loved him and knew that he loved you too. And that was enough.

Masterlist | Buy me a coffee?

[dearestones]

Akudama Drive Matchup: Hacker

Warnings: Fluff. 

@mondgewalt Request: HI HI, so i feel like a lot of people asked for matchups, so now i wanna try it out too. could i get a platonic matchup for the akudama drive characters? any gender is fine!

i’m a dude, 5‘4 (165cm) and my clothing style is pretty plain, usually consisting of hoodies and ripped jeans (and occasionally a jeans jacket 😭).

personality wise… i‘m pretty introverted and prefer to be by myself. i also have social anxiety, so that might explain why i never go out 😍. but if i‘m with friends (or people i feel comfortable with) i‘m pretty open and i really love sarcasm. i also have a lot of knowledge for random things, i‘m a big daydreamer, and i‘m spontaneous! i also try to be as tolerant as possible. buttttt, i‘m awkward with others, easily irritable, unassertive and nervous ALL the time.

for my interests: i love to draw, read (fanfics) and i love music. if i had to pick a genre, probably any post-punk genre (streetpunk or oi!). i also love rhythm games bc i love to destroy my thumbs by tapping too fast 😍 OH, and i love languages!!

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After reviewing through the information given, I believe that you are best matched with Hacker!

Hacker likes your plain style. Sure it's nothing compared to the clothing that Hacker wears, but he finds that yours is far more comfortable and he likes how soft your hoodies are. (Hacker may be a little bit jealous and in awe of your jean jacket... there's no way Hacker can pull off a look like that).

Hacker is also pretty introverted himself, so he'll appreciate your company far more than others. He'll also be understanding whenever you need your space. If you ever leave him on 'read' in a private chat, he'll know that you probably don't have the energy to reply and will check back later. (He may or may not send you videos he finds interesting just to pass the time and coax you to open up).

You have social anxiety? That's more than fine with Hacker. He rarely leaves his apartment and if you prefer, you can spend most of your friendship online. (In fact, that's probably how you first met). However, even Hacker has his limits, so he'll probably find out where you live just so the both of you can raid a 24/7 convenience store for fruit jelly packets. (Hacker will gladly talk to the cashier for you, but he's going to pay with your money).

Unfortunately, the world will never know peace once the both of you make the mistake of sassing each other. Quick wit and banter between romantic rivals from young adult novels have nothing on what's going on between the both of you. If you're arguing in public, people will think that you're enemies, but that's the farthest thing from the truth. Sarcasm is practically encoded into Hacker's system, it only makes sense that he befriends someone who can match him wit for wit.

Your spontaneity better be on par with Hacker’s. You see, Hacker is a bored creature by nature. He has hacked into security systems of varying degrees of difficulty, deleted files from government databases for fun, and not once has been caught. A genius at his own game, you better believe that he will jump at any opportunity to alleviate his boredom. Please encourage him to enrich his enclosure or else he might end up taking up an anonymous offer about a heist regarding a serial killer. If you don’t, he’ll drag you along for the ride. 

Hacker doesn’t mind that you’re awkward and easily irritated. He’s not that great at human interaction, but he will do his best to comfort you and give you space as needed. He’s a pretty low maintenance sort of friend.

However, even he might express concern about your inability to assert yourself. It’s not his business, but he’ll strongly caution you to stick up for yourself. If the world were a game—which it is, but don’t quote him on that—you’d definitely need to buff up your charisma stats. 

That said, rhythm games? Have you seen Hacker’s introductory scene where his fingers fly over his holograms? Yeah, try going up against that. If you end up beating him, you’re in for the ride of your life. Hacker will continue challenging you until he beats you to the ground with his high scores. And languages? Does that mean you can code in binary? HTML? Python? C++? Oh… did you mean Japanese, French, etc.? How boring… 

Basically, being friends with Hacker means that you’re basically befriending any other teenage boy… Except, you know, he has a penchant for hacking, has an unhealthy hyperfixation on jelly drinks, and is terminally online. However, he is true and loyal to the very end. If you’re ever uncomfortable around him, he’ll take notice, apologize, and mind his words better around you. In return, you better entertain him. 

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If you want to donate a Ko-Fi, feel free https://ko-fi.com/devintrinidad.

AKUDAMA DRIVE MASTERLIST

[bisamwilson]

uno reverse star trek aos bc im curious

i love aos with my whole entire heart (to the point that i’ve unfollowed otherwise good trek blogs bc i got tired of seeing so many posts ragging on aos rip). aos got me into trek and i’ll be thankful for it for that forever

like first off the casting is fucking perfect. you can tell all of them love star trek so much. like pegg wrote beyond (which was the most “trek like” of the aos movies imo) and put so many cute little nudges towards the originals in there that i loved. quinto and nimoy were good friends and it was obvious quinto just wanted to do right by nimoy’s legacy. any time i see karl urban as bones i think about that story of how nimoy got teary eyed watching him bc of how much he acted like de. john cho is a badass sulu, anton was a major part of the heart and soul in those movies, and i love just how dedicated zoe saldana is to showing off uhura’s incredible competency.

i haven’t mentioned pine yet, for good reason, and that is because, despite how a lot of trekkies i know feel, i love aos kirk. i love just about everything about who he is as a character. i’d even venture to say i love him more than tos kirk (though i love tos kirk more than life too). pine pours so much life into him as a character. here’s a kirk that’s every bit of the genius he is in tos, but he’s at his youngest, most reckless, most cocky. he’s a twenty something who’s spent his entire life being left behind (by his hero father who follows him everywhere he goes, by his mother who is reminded of her lost love every time she sees him, by his piece of shit uncle, and perhaps most importantly, by sam. we’ll come back to sam later.) he decides it’s easier to throw up a facade, a cocky devil may care attitude supplemented by his pretty blue eyes and his frankly ridiculous aptitude scores, and spends his life pissing people off from the get go so he never has to feel the hurt when they leave.

which brings me back to sam kirk. (this bit gets negative @ jj specifically despite the ask prompt, fair warning.) as both a trekkie and a star wars fan, there are many things i will never forgive jj abrams for, but at the top of that list is deleting the scene where sam leaves jim behind. because that, in my i’ve-spent-way-too-much-time-thinking-about-jim-kirk opinion, is what defines jim, even more so than the dead dad who died on his birthday. that’s the final straw. his big brother, the one who was supposed to be with him no matter what, tells him he’s leaving bc jim’ll be fine. he’s a goody two shoes with perfect grades who always follows orders, but sam’s a kirk. so he can’t stay where his uncle is. up until this point, jim’s done what he’s supposed to do. he listens, he does his chores, he minds, he does well in school. he keeps quiet as much as he can. until his brother leaves and so he decides to steal a car and drive it off a cliff. he decides to become what sam says is a kirk, and fuck the consequences. being good and mindful got him a family who didn’t want him, so he’s gonna be a delinquent instead, bc then at least he doesn’t have to worry about getting left behind again.

and despite whatever womanizer image jj was going for, chris pine got /this/. you can see it written all over his face: the wonder at looking up at the enterprise in the iowa shipyard, the dedication to beat a test to prove people didn’t always have to die, the way he looks so shocked when spock prime treats him with such kindness, tells him how much of a great man he is and will be, that he was such a fantastic captain. even in stid (which isn’t my favorite by a long shot) you can see kirk struggling with his own self worth, see how much he feels like he was just living up to everyone else’s shoddy expectations when he lost his captaincy. see how much he feels like martyring himself is the only way even though he doesn’t want to die, bc if he doesn’t someone else would have to. and his crew means more to him than he does.

most importantly though, we get to see kirk work through it. he relies on bones, to the point that uhura is basically holding him up when it looks like he might die via missile explosion in stid and to the point he trusts bones to just be there on his birthday in beyond. he openly admits to spock in beyond that he wouldn’t know what to do without him (despite never letting himself need anyone at all since sam). he jokes around with uhura, saves sulu. trusts chekov to take care of things when scotty quits. assures scotty he’ll take the blame if things go wrong in beyond. he is close and in sync enough with his crew by beyond that his security on the bridge know exactly when to hand him a phaser when he rushes off. he’s dropped his cocksure attitude and grown into the captain he was always born to be, that spock prime told him he was. for the first time since he was like nine years old, he’s let people in.

and that, more than anything, is why i love aos so much. the cast is wonderful and the storylines are (mostly) entertaining to watch, but more than anything, aos jim’s journey is just so relatable to watch. it’s heartbreaking in its infancy and so incredibly satisfying by its end. tos kirk seemed louder than life to me always, which is maybe why i gravitate to aos jim more. he’s got so much in him that he has to find a way to let out. and he does

[amjustagirl]

CHAPTER 2 - FALLEN

Fic Summary:

The sky Oikawa Tooru’s heart seeks is a world away from the earth yours is buried in. You are a fool to trust him with your heart anyway.

Where Oikawa Tooru tries to recapture your heart. 

Chapter 1 // Chapter 2 // Chapter 3

Pairing: Oikawa Tooru x fem! reader

Genre / Wordcount : Angst (7k words), cameo from MSBY 4

Warnings: One non-explicit bedroom scene.

Masterlist link here!

Tag list link here!

You catch sight of Oikawa Tooru as you bustle through the hospital’s sliding doors, your usual cup of coffee in your hand that you buy on the way to work. He’s seated in the waiting area next to a middle aged man you guess must be his manager, from the way he jumps to his feet immediately to act as a human shield as you call out breathlessly - 

“T - Oikawa? What are you doing here?” 

Tooru’s head swivels around to meet your gaze, and you’re shocked by the lifelessness in his eyes until you glance at the bandages wrapped around his swollen knee. 

Oh. 

You try not to stare, but you do so anyway. The sight of your ex-boyfriend makes you feel as if you’re seeing a ghost, a specter from some past life. You last saw him when he was twenty one, young and proud, wax wings fully spread, a speck in the skies. What a difference five years makes. His shoulders are still broad, and the tilt of his jaw is still proud, but the light in his eyes has faded to darkness, and the pallor of his skin suggests far too much time spent away from the sun. 

Icarus, Icarus. Your hubris has led you to such heights, but look how far you’ve fallen. 

It’s surprising there’s no news of his injury, considering he’s one third of Japan’s trifecta of setters in the volleyball scene’s monster generation. With the Olympics rapidly approaching with just over a year to go, an injury must be devastating, especially to Oikawa Tooru, with dreams of Olympic greatness and victory on his native shores. 

A nurse materialises to usher Oikawa away for surgery before he can respond to the pity in your gaze. You look around. He’s alone, save for his manager. No one deserves to be wake up alone after surgery, so you call after him - 

“I’ll check in on you after you’re done! Gambatte!”

He responds with a thumbs up and a weak smile. 

You flip through his medical files once you get the chance. 

Oikawa Tooru, twenty six. Pro-volleyball player for EJP Raijin previously, currently playing in the Argentinian league. Narrowly missed out on making the cut for the previous Olympics, but went on to represent Japan in the last three World Cups, alternating with Miya Atsumu and Kageyama Tobio. Obviously hoping for another shot at the Olympics, but that’s looking bleak from what you’re gleaning from his medical records. 

His right knee has always bothered him, even during his high school days. Now, a decade later, it looks like he’s managed to tear his tendon to shreds. 

Volleyball is a cruel, demanding mistress, especially for one not born a genius. 

The surgery to repair a torn knee ligament is delicate work, requiring an experienced surgeon, and the road to recovery requires extensive physiotherapy. It’s no wonder he’s resorted to the modern Tokyo hospital you work in rather than returning to his native Sendai to recuperate. The downside of doing so though, is that he’d have to recover alone. 

You wrinkle your nose. He may be your ex-boyfriend, but he doesn’t deserve that. 

The sun is setting when you finally find the time to slip into his room. 

As expected, he’s still asleep. The anesthetic will take some time to wear off. From the looks of the surgeon’s notes, the surgery was a success - though you know from the nature and extent of the injury that his road to recovery will be long and winding.   

So you seat yourself in the visitor’s chair with a hot cup of tea and an onigiri to stave off your hunger at not finding time for a break any earlier. You had an awful day at work today, two of your patients puked on you, another tried to fight you when you drew his blood, and the senior registrar in the ward assigned you a mountain of paperwork that you only just managed to complete, so you give in to sleep yourself as exhaustion settles into your bones.

“Princess?”  

You snap awake at the familiar nickname, ignoring the flush working its way up the back of your neck as you leap to his bedside to check his vitals, only relaxing when you’re satisfied everything’s fine. 

“You’re just waking up after a surgery, Oikawa”. When his forehead crinkles in confusion at the sound of his surname, you correct yourself. “I mean - Tooru”. The corners of his cracked lips tilt up in satisfaction. 

“Will you stay with me?” Tooru murmurs, eyelids beginning to droop again. 

You smile fondly despite yourself. “Do you want me to?” you ask. 

He manages to pout even as he’s falling back asleep. “I asked, didn’t I?” 

You smooth his hair from his forehead, slotting your hand into his. “Fine, fine. Go to bed, sleeping beauty”. 

He huffs an amused breath from his nose before he closes his eyes, contented. Trust Tooru to be shameless enough to cling on to his ex-girlfriend without a shred of awkwardness. You end up staying in his room for hours, watching him sleep.

The heart that you’ve locked away behind bars of bone and steel twitches, just once. 

You frown when the nurse catches your sleeve. “A patient’s looking for you” she says, just as you’re about to go off on a short break. 

“Who?” you reply, wondering whether it’s Sato-san who vomited this morning, or Imai-san whose blood pressure niggles at your mind. You do not expect the nurse to flush pink as she replies - “Oikawa-san”, describing the sweet young man with lovely brown eyes and such a charming voice. 

You slip back into his room when your shift ends. You expect to see a shadow of a man with broken wings, and you do catch a fleeting glimpse of Tooru staring wistfully out of the window, face tilted towards the sun before he turns to you with a wide smile and a pleased - “you came!”  

This is the Oikawa Tooru you are accustomed to dealing with. “Stop flirting with the nurses”, you tell him briskly, bustling over to look at his files. “They have jobs to do, don’t use them to carry messages to me.”

“But I’m boredddd.”

“I’m sure you have volleyball videos to watch.”

“I watched them all day today. ‘Sides, I watched all the matches on today already, twice – and I have plenty of time to watch them a third time. I have plenty of time to catch up with you, I haven’t seen you in so long!”

Five years since you broke up to be exact, but you sidestep that fact neatly, pouring over his medical file instead. His doctors’ notes indicate his recovery is promising. He brightens up when you tell him so, playfully complaining that hospital food is shit in a thinly veiled attempt to steal your food, a habit he’s clearly not outgrown. But you’re not all that hungry anyway, so you split your pork bun in half and hand it to him, dropping into the visitor’s chair. 

“So how’re you feeling?” 

“Like shit. My knee hurts so muchhhh.” 

You shrug, careless. “That’s pretty expected, to be honest.”

“Hmph. I thought they’d have taught you some bedside manners in medical school”, he snipes, though the effect is rather lost when his cheeks are comically round and full of food. 

You laugh, the stress from your day lifting from your shoulders.  

“I seem to forget them when it’s you.”

“So mean”, he pouts, hiding the familiar gleam in his eye that appears whenever he’s trying to analyse his opponents, take them apart. “As punishment, tell me about yourself. What have you been up to these days?” 

You decide to treat him like any old friend, giving him the condensed run down of your professional life,  how you’ve graduated from medical school (with top marks I bet, he interjects), how you chose to stay in Tokyo instead of returning to Sendai (your parents must miss you he says, and you brush him off with an airy they have other children, they’ll survive), how you chose to work in this hospital because you’re considering a specialisation in Orthopedic surgery (because of your grandma, I bet, he says, and you choose not to correct that, using your silence as a lie).  

He in turn tells you about the highlights of his career, how he’s spent a year at EJP Raijin before he was headhunted to the Argentinian league, how he spent four years overseas save for summers back in Japan to train with the national team, how he’s hopeful, even now, of recovering and fighting for his spot on the Olympic roster next year. 

You already knew all of that from news alerts on your phone you never forced yourself to delete, diverting him instead with a question about life in Argentina, nodding as he reminisces about his apartment in San Juan where he gets to watch the sun set over the Andes mountains, the kitchen that he stuffed full of Japanese groceries like daishi and mirin and sake and miso in his first year there just so he has a tangible reminder of home. 

You stop yourself from wondering whether he thinks about the little home he shared with you with such fondness. That time has passed. 

His voice wavers as he spins you stories about his teammates - Matteo, whose family owns a vineyard and taught him to appreciate wine like a proper Argentinian, Miguel, who makes the best empanadas and gets roaring drunk every time they win a match, Gabriel, who takes him to his family’s home in the mountains every other weekend because his grandmother is convinced that a single young man without family in the city will starve if he’s left to his own devices. 

It seems his wings were durable enough for him to soar across the oceans, his grit and determination the foundation of the new life he’s built, whole continents away. 

“It’s funny how the world works”, you remark off hand. “I never expected to see you again.”

His eyes gleam again. “The universe seems to work in funny ways.” 

You start spending breaks in his room, scarfing down your lunch and dinner while he talks your ear off about the horrible sitcoms or ridiculous game shows he’s watched today. You catch him watching a video of Kageyama’s serves and you’re amused when he practically hisses when you comment idly that his kouhai has certainly improved since his high school days. 

You ignore his spluttered protests that service records aren’t everything and besides, his own spike serves have definitely won Japan a game or two last year until, with the air of a boy king, he commands you to sit next to him on the hospital bed so he can pull up a compilation of his serves and his best moments. 

Years might have passed, but you’re still hopeless at refusing him. Besides, isn’t it better that you distract him from the sorry state of his knee? So you do as he says, ignoring the faint flutter of your traitorous heart as he leans into your side. 

“See? I told you my spike serves are amazing?”

“Yes, yes. I already knew that. I watched so many of your practices in university, remember?”

He looks at you strangely. “Did you?” he asks, leaning his head on his hand, eyes boring into yours. 

You think of evenings spent sitting on the bleachers, homework in your lap as you watch as the boy you love builds the strength in his wax wings in preparation for his eventual flight. “Yes”, you admit, sheets rustling as you shift away from him, avoiding his perplexed frown. “You were probably too focused on practice to notice.”

You already know you shouldn’t spend so much time in his room, but you’ve spent most of your life doing what you should instead of what you want to so just this once, you ignore rational thought in favour of sentiment.

After all, he’ll be discharged from hospital in a week, then you’ll never see him again. 

Tooru promptly proves you wrong the day before he’s scheduled to be discharged. 

“I need someone to help me move into my apartment.”

“Hire a mover”, you tell him. You don’t even look up from your notes. 

“Already did”, he chirps, undaunted by your apparent disinterest. “But it’d be nice to have a friend who I know will be nice enough to help poor old crippled me put my stuff away.” Then he grins cheekily, “plus I checked with that pretty nurse – Yuna-san was it? Anyway, she told me you’re off tomorrow, so you might as well spend the day with me.”

There goes your excuse to wriggle out of having to spend your rare day off with your ex. 

“I have a mountain of sleep debt to pay off”, you protest, but faced with wide brown eyes and an embarrassing wobble of his lip, you comply. Still, you manage to get the promise of a free dinner out of him, so you suppose it’ll do.

Tooru doesn’t have much to unpack, a couple of cardboard boxes of clothes and books, probably because most of his belongings are still in Argentina. He laughs and raises his hands in an attempt to placate you when you lift an eyebrow, first at the lack of kitchen equipment in his furnished apartment, second at the weights and volleyball he tries to smuggle in behind your back. 

“You’re not supposed to exercise for at least a month or two”, you cluck your tongue, sighing with disapproval at the furtive look he casts at the volleyball sitting at the corner of his living room.

“I can set while sitting on a stool! Don’t scold me, my heart can’t bear it”. He throws a hand across his face, brow creased dramatically. 

Icarus, Icarus. You’ve already fallen once. Will you seek out the sun again? 

A string of familiarity loops into a knot over your heart. If you close your eyes and count to ten, you can imagine that you’re eighteen again, chiding the boy you love for practicing too hard. But you’re twenty six now, a full fledged adult who should know better than to dabble in sentiment again (especially when it comes to brown eyed boys who only dream of the sun), so you slash through the threads connecting you to him with a flash of your teeth, bury your beating heart deeper into the dungeon you’ve built years ago of white bone and solid steel.  

“Do what you want, but your neighbours will hate you if you keep thumping that damn ball against the wall.” You say, simply, dismissively. 

“No one could ever hate me”, he declares with bravado. “I’ll charm them all with my charm and good looks.”

“Ridiculous”, you huff, dumping the last of his clothing into the cupboard. “Where’s the dinner you promised? I want ramen and gyoza at least.”

“So demanding”, he lilts. “I’ll order in. Tonkatsu ramen with char siu, bamboo shoots, extra spring onions with gyoza on the side?” 

Your heart struggles against its shackles. He still remembers your order.  

“Yes”, you finally say. “You got that right.”

He grins at you cheekily, as if to say of course. 

After you gulp down your ramen, devour your gyozas, you pack up, ready to leave. You have an early shift tomorrow, and you’re already dreaming about your soft bed whilst dreading the cup of coffee you’ll have to down tomorrow morning just to stay awake. 

He catches your wrist, presses the spare key to the apartment into your hand.  “Come back. I want to see you again”, he says, an order and not a plea. 

You are about to make up an excuse, tell him anything but the truth that you suspect it’s bad for your heart to keep seeing him again. 

“Please” - he adds with a tint of fragility to his voice. 

“I’ll be back when I can”, you finally say. 

“Tomorrow?” he looks up at you with hopeful eyes. 

“We’ll see”, you pry your hand loose from his grasp, slip out the front door. 

You stay away for two days, citing your work schedule as an excuse until he wears you down with a barrage of cutesy line stickers aimed at driving home how lonely he is and how much he misses your presence. You’re being dramatic as usual, you text him dryly, but you turn up anyway at his apartment on a Friday night, letting yourself in with an armful of reports and a bucket of oden. 

“How’re you doing? Are you listening to your physiotherapist? Eating properly? Sleeping well?”

“You sound like my mother”, he grouses, rolling his wheelchair to the dining table. 

You flick at his forehead, he slumps back in his wheelchair.  “Stop bullying the cripple’, he wheezes through his chortle. 

“You deserve it”, you retort. “Don’t run away from the question. How’re you feeling?”

“It still hurts”, he admits with a mock sniff. “It should stop hurting by nowwww.”

You push your glasses up the bridge of your nose. “That’s to be expected. Your sinews just got stitched together two weeks ago. Not sure why you’d expect any less.”

“Bah, rude. At least you didn’t say I told you so”, he grumbles, spooning oden into his mouth. “That would be insufferable.”

“Well, maybe you’ll listen to me now that I’m actually a doctor”, you inform him pertly, batting away memories of a teenage boy with hazel eyes shouting indignantly at you after practice in the Seijoh gym.

Tooru snorts. “I can’t believe my eighteen year old self was dumb enough to open my future self up to a jab like that”, he complains, chewing on a cabbage roll grumpily. 

“We’re all dumb at eighteen”, you remark. “You’re no exception.” 

“You were dumb enough to date me”, he teases with a mocking smile.  

Your spoon slips from your hand momentarily. It’s the first time he’s alluded to your past relationship. 

“I was, wasn’t I”, you say lightly, before turning the conversation to Tooru’s physiotherapy sessions. 

You have no wish to delve back into the past, but you’re willing to be his friend since he seems to need one for now.  

Tooru’s knee recovers enough for him to shift from his wheelchair to crutches, which he points at you playfully, mimicking a gun every time you pop by for a visit. He seems to plan his physiotherapy session around your schedule, just so he can wheedle you into paying him yet another visit when your shift at the hospital end, bribing you with a cup of coffee with a hint of chocolate from the café across the street that you’ve never found the time to visit. 

“Thank you, kind sir”, you say, accepting the coffee with a laugh. 

“You’re welcome, my lady”, he answers with a smirk, motioning you to follow him for yet another evening to be spent in his home sitting across him, red ink smeared on your hands as you mark up the reports in your lap. 

His façade that he’s coping with his injury just fine slips every so often. You catch him more often than not watching compilation videos of Kageyama and Atsumu at the World Cup this year with a strained expression on his face, or resting his chin on the windowsill whilst staring wistfully at the birds in the sky. 

He does not confide about his worries to you. You’re not sure you want him to. 

But you can’t explain to yourself the impulse to purchase a bird feeder for his balcony, nor the glow-in-the-dark poster of the constellations that you cart into his bedroom until your heart has to scramble for equilibrium when he thanks you, his smile soft. 

“In exchange for all the coffee you’ve bought me”, you reply, turning away to hide all evidence of your heart’s betrayal, the diffusion of blood in your cheeks.  

A month passes. Then another. 

The crutches get kept in the storeroom. A limp remains, but the degree which his knee can bend increases by the day. His mood improves even further, and you constantly find yourself swerving to avoid his affectionate gazes, his attempts at flirtation. 

“You’re looking so pretty today!” he lilts, fitting his arm snugly into the crook of your elbow as you walk down the neon lit streets of Tokyo. He insisted on this outing, and in the custom of your rekindled friendship, managed to convince you to accompany him on your off day so he can get crepes from Harajuku notwithstanding the fact that it takes forty five minutes on the train and his knee still acts up from time to time.  

“It’s my first time downtown in a month”, you tell him. “Of course I’m going to dress up.” You don’t tell him you spent far too long in front of your closet, tossing outfits on your bed until you found one that complements you just right. 

He buys you trinkets, hair accessories that you’ll never wear, tries to win you ridiculous stuffed toys from the claw machine. 

“You’re wasting money”, you scold, wiping the whipped cream from his mouth. 

“It’s not a waste if it’s for you”, he tells you, with startling sincerity that you still doubt.

He doesn’t mean it, you tell yourself. It’s just Tooru being Tooru. 

You refuse to admit what’s staring you in the face until you have to duck your head to avoid his attempt at pressing his lips to your cheek. 

“Goodnight, Tooru”, you manage to say before you bolt off into the night. You check to make sure your heart is still under lock and key. 

It is, but it beats resentfully. Tooru, it beats against its bars with frightening intensity. Tooru. Tooru.  

You ignore it. You know what’s best for it.

You stay away from him for a fortnight, requesting for a change in your schedule without updating him, taking the other exit from the hospital so you don’t have to see him. You stay away until he manages to wear you down yet again, texting you the most ridiculous conspiracy theories about your absence from his life – you must be abducted by aliens, he texts you once, or your mother forced you to marry some stranger, I can break you out if you just say the word. 

He has a guest, you hear another voice, deeper, filled with gravel and intensity, so different from Tooru’s lighter lilt. You do not mean to eavesdrop, but you don’t want to interrupt Tooru when he has a rare guest over, and there’s nowhere else for you wait save for the dusty front step, so you settle yourself in, pen poised to continue your work. 

“What did the doctor say? When are you coming back for practice?” 

“I’m doing good! The physiotherapist thinks I can try light exercise next week. If all goes well, I’ll be back to practice in a month.”

“Sounds promising.”

“I had a good medical team. And I’m actually resting properly!”

“Shittykawa. Stop sounding so proud about doing what’s necessary for your recovery.”

“Iwa-channnn, stop being mean to meeee!”

Ah, Iwaizumi, of course. You haven’t seen him in years, but you remember him from school, a stoic boy with a good heart. You wonder if he’s changed. 

“Are you planning on heading back to Argentina?”

Tooru answers without hesitation. “Of course”, he says airily. “As long as they take me back.”

Your foolish heart shudders with disappointment. Of course. If you run your fingers down his spine, you’ll probably find blooms of wax attached to his very bone. 

You are about to stand up and leave when Tooru speaks up again. 

“But I’m going to enjoy my time in Japan while I’m back. Did I tell you I reconnected with my ex? She’s great, it feels like I never left.”

The firestorm of blood in your ears nearly drowns out Iwaizumi’s growled ‘piece of shit’ (he truly hasn’t changed after all), the clatter of glassware as Tooru protests that he’s not playing with your heart, he truly cares about you, his sullen silence when Iwaizumi demands what’s going to happen when he leaves Japan for Argentina, when he inevitably leaves you behind (yet again).   

Of course. 

You know his heart longs for the sky. There is no space for you. 

You barely have time to react when the door swings open, Iwaizumi on the verge of storming out. You plaster a smile to your face that does not fool him, but you hang on to it nonetheless, cracks appearing only when he gives you a wide eyed look of sympathy that only pours oil onto the flaming war between your brain and your heart. 

“It’s fine”, you say, and though he clearly does not believe you, he bows and leaves anyway. 

Tooru stares at you, mouth open, stumbling over himself with apologies and demands for you to tell him what you’ve overheard, but you motion for him to just stop with your hand, wave aside his protest that he means what he said, he truly likes you.  

Your heart screeches in delight, but your mind is firmly in the driver’s seat. 

“Let’s just pretend I never heard you say that, and we can continue just as before.”

“As friends?” he says, twisting his lips as if the words taste sour in his mouth. He clutches at your shoulders.

“I want more. I want you.”

Your heart thrums in agreement, but you recall assembling the remains of your heart back into your chest whilst kneeling on the cold bathroom floor half a decade ago. The span of five years should have molded you to view your shared past with pragmatism, but your heart seems to have forgotten its lesson. You shake your head.

“There’s no way you truly want me. I don’t think you’ve only ever had space in your heart for anything but your goals.” 

Your response emerges more bitter than you intend. 

“That’s not true”, he weakly protests. “I care about you.”

Not enough, you refrain from telling him. “Let’s remain friends”, you do say, and he opens his mouth to object again, but at the hard look you give him, he slumps back with a defeated nod.

He tries to respect your decision, never complaining when you keep a careful arm’s length distance from him, though you can feel his heated gaze on you whenever he thinks you won’t notice, hear his quiet sighs whenever you shy away from any accidental touch. He droops when you turn down his invite for lunch with his family when they come down for a visit, citing work even though he knows you’re off for the day. 

Still, it’s manageable and he says he needs you, so you return for visits, at least twice weekly, offering encouraging smiles and friendly words when he returns first to light exercise, then to rehabilitative practice a month later, just as he predicted. 

He carves out time for dinners with you, taking care to ask about your day, preferring to spin you stories about the pigeons and doves and crows crowding his balcony rather than talking about volleyball or his practice. He insists on escorting you to his apartment after work when you allow him to, offering you his arm with a soft smile that disarms you, dissolves any resistance. 

It’s an uneasy equilibrium, but it’ll suffice. 

The careful balance you’ve maintained in the space between you and Tooru is shattered when you find you’re not the only one who’s decided to pay him a surprise visit on a Friday night. 

“Tooru, ya didn’t say ya got yerself a pretty girl during yer break”, a man with bleach blonde hair wolf whistles appreciatively when you step into the apartment. 

“I’m just a friend”, you reply confusedly before Tooru’s shout “Shove off, Miya” confirms that one Miya Atsumu has decided to invade Tooru’s apartment. Well, him and what seems like half the MSBY team, with Hinata Shoyo, Bokuto Koutaro and Sakusa Kiyoomi squashed uncomfortably on Tooru’s tiny sofa, long legs stretched across the living room. 

It turns out the MSBY team just finished a game in Tokyo, and Hinata dragged his teammates to visit Tooru in a wholesome bid to cheer him up. You try to excuse yourself after exchanging nods with Sakusa (he hasn’t changed much from his university days) when Miya Atsumu blocks your retreat with a drawled invite for Izakaya and the promise of karaoke after. 

Tooru mouths playfully at you don’t leave me alone with these clowns (you’re tempted to point out that he’s very much one himself), and before you can even blink, you find yourself dragged along to the nearest Izakaya, impressed by the amount of food each man polishes off - skewers of chicken hearts and cartilage, bowls of potato salad and rice with braised pork belly, listening to stories of their exploits on the national team together, stumbling into the karaoke bar tipsy from the beers that Miya Atsumu pressed into your hand, head heavy enough to allow him to wind an arm around your waist. 

“She’s too old for you, ‘Tsumu-kun”, Tooru trills, inserting himself in between you and Atsumu, mouth taut with aggravation. 

“I’m not old, just a year older”, you roll your eyes, as the blonde setter backs away, lips turned up in amusement. Tooru is not placated, muttering how the younger setter is a douche and a sleeze bag as he drapes his jacket over you like a blanket. You nestle against his side, head on his shoulder as his arm rests protectively around you. 

Atsumu watches this with raised eyebrows, whistling slowly, opening his mouth to remark that he’s never seen Oikawa so smitten before when Hinata interrupts with a chirped  “‘Tsum-Tsum, join me!”, handing him a microphone while bouncing on the balls of his feet. 

Karaoke is the most fun you’ve had in ages. Hinata and Bokuto and Atsumu sing all their favourite anime theme songs with gusto - Atsumu even gets misty eyed when he croons Sparkle by Radwimps, reddening when everyone teases him for being a romantic sap, Bokuto shaking his hips to Western pop hits, Hinata showing off his Spanish skills. Sakusa refuses to even touch the microphone but you suppose it’s a win that he’s even in the karaoke booth with all of you. 

Tooru slaps away Atsumu’s attempts at handing you any further alcohol, forcing you to down cups of water until you are no longer glassy eyed, but still tipsy enough to agree to sing ridiculous K-On songs with Hintata and Bokuto, not stopping even when Tooru whips out his phone to video the entire performance with an indulgent smile. 

“Delete it!” you squeal, losing your balance when you try swiping the phone out of his hands, tripping into his lap instead.  

“In your dreams, princess”, Tooru chuckles, his arms snaking around you like a vise. 

“Anndd that’s our cue to call it a night”, Atsumu quips, herding Hinata and Bokuto out onto the street, Sakusa heaving an audible sigh of relief. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do, kids!” he calls over his shoulder, throwing you a wink. 

“I’m technically his senpai, cheeky brat”, Tooru mutters, the irritation in his voice washing away as you giggle. “C’mon, it’s too late for you to get home and my place is nearer to the hospital so you might as well stay over tonight. You can take the bed, I’ll take the sofa.”

You shake your head, arguing that you couldn’t possibly turn an invalid like him out of his bed but he huffs at the insinuation that he’s anything but well, his knee almost whole again. You give in after he convinces you that it’d be more inconvenient for him to escort you all the way to your own home rather than put you up for the night, and you allow him to loop his arm around yours and lead you back to his apartment. 

It’s not the first time you’ve been in his apartment this late, not by a long shot, but it is the first time you’re over with the intention of staying over. The t-shirt you borrow from Tooru hangs off your frame, the scent of the fabric softener Tooru uses is familiar. You would’ve preferred being tipsier to dull your senses, but alcohol would only impair your logic, allow your heart to prevail, so you try to quell the thrumming of your blood in your veins by curling up on a seat by the window with a cup of tea when Tooru emerges from his shower. 

“Ready for bed?” he asks, towelling off his hair, frowning when you shake your head. “It’s late, you have work tomorrow, even if it’s the afternoon shift.”

“It’s fine”, you say without turning your head to face him. “Go to bed, I’ll take the couch.”

“I’m insulted, princess. What kind of a man d’you think I am to make his guest sleep on the couch? ”

It’s less dangerous to ignore him, so you pay him no mind, choosing instead to lean your chin in your hand and look up towards the night sky. It soothes you, the moon an old friend, reminding of five years’ worth of quiet nights spent in your own flat, filtering your younger self into adulthood. 

“What’re you looking at?” He takes a step forward, kneels down next to you. 

“The moon and the stars”, you say dreamily. “They’re pretty tonight.”

A myriad of weather conditions must coincide to allow the stars to even be visible in the polluted Tokyo night sky, but tonight of all nights fate intervenes, the stars align. The sky is cloudless, the full moon hangs heavy, the stars shimmer and dance.  

“Are they?” Tooru whispers. “I haven’t noticed.”

You finally turn to look at him. “Why’re you staring at me?” 

The unconscious echo of your past - a boy and a girl, falling in love under the same night sky makes his mouth twist wistfully, eyes faded gold.

“Because you are my sun, my moon and my stars. I love you better than anything in the sky.”

Your mouth falls open, your heart suddenly roaring, pounding against its restraints. 

“You can’t mean that”, you whisper. “Don’t say it if you don’t mean it.”

“I do”, he says, with heartbreaking sincerity. “And I always will.”

Nostalgia, aided by the lingering alcohol in your veins opens the gate to your foolish heart. You want to pretend that you are eighteen again, without a care in the world, indulging in the warmth of his hand on the small of your back, the caress of his breath on your cheek. Your lips beckon his, swallowing the catch of his breath when your hands slide under his shirt. 

“Are you sure about this?” His eyes are hungry, almost ravenous, but his hands still hover at the hem of your top. 

“Yes”, you murmur, pressing open mouthed kisses to the column of his neck. “Please, Tooru - please.” 

He carries you into the bedroom, undresses you with shaking hands, chanting your name with reverence, almost a prayer. His eyes darken with desperation and need, unwilling to allow himself any release until you fall apart boneless, caged in his arms.  

“Stay with me”, he murmurs, after you’ve both cleaned up a second time, tugging you into bed. 

It’s laughable. Five years on, Oikawa Tooru still has the power to make your mind lose all reason (however temporarily). With a single heated look, he commands your heart to break willingly in his hands. How could you not have learnt your lesson? The conversation between him and Iwaizumi merely confirms what you’ve known all this while.

(The sky his heart seeks is a world away from the earth yours is buried in)

Even now, you can see the glimmer of golden wax feathers budding along his spine, gleaming under the pale moonlight. 

You lie under the covers until his breath evens out, then you stumble out of bed. You force your heart to relinquish the keys to its freedom, handing it back to logic and rationality, pulling on your clothing, folding your borrowed clothing aside.  

Tooru mumbles your name, his hand outstretched towards you. “Come back”, he says in his sleep, fragility tinting the edges of his words. 

Your fingers miss the doorknob by an inch. You dash your foolish hopes against the darkness of the room, put on your resolve like armour, leave your spare key on the kitchen counter. 

Without looking back, you slip out into the night. 

​

[dilucslittleangel]

𝐀 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐩𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐈𝐥 𝐃𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐞

Hello!! Usually I wanted to write this same thing with Scaramouche until unfortunately his canon past came out and I had to delete the whole thing- so now, while Dottore will sure take some time to appear in the game, I'm taking my chance to write how I think his past maybe looked like.

Some sentences towards the end have been taken off his artifact!

Word count: 1584

I'd like to say this may or may not fit into canon!! (however I wouldn't mind if this became canon)

So. Where to we begin?

I like to think Dottore had a golden child syndrome from a young age.

Most parents want to see their children thrive and flourish. In fact, the desire to see your child succeed is a normal desire of parenting. Moreover, even good parents sometimes have unrealistic expectations for their children.

But good child syndrome can happen when a child consistently reinforces their parent’s desires for them. These children don’t just want to satisfy their parents- they feel obligated and responsible for doing so. It becomes a significant part of their identity, meaning it affects their overall development. Either one or two of the parent role, are naracisstic.

A healthy child usually wants to succeed and make their parents proud. Golden children take it up a few notches. They may present as anxious children early in life. Similarly, they experience immense anxiety and guilt when they fail to meet certain expectations.

Despite how a golden child syndrome usually develops in a child, it was a little different in this case.

Dottore's father did not give him lots of attention at all. Just like the insane, crazy doctor / scientist he is himself now, so was his father. His father was a mad man, a man who's experiments are more important to him than his own family.

The young boy often watched his father, watching experiments a young boy like him should not see. All his father's attention went to the experiments, did he have to do the same?

The young lad did various of things, but they all were helpless. Nothing made his father even look at him, heck not even at the dinner table they talked. However he didn't want to stop trying. He had to keep on going, so he thought.

His mother? Dottore was just 7 years old when his mother started to feel worse and worse everyday. So worse even she had no other choice but to rest in bed, having a doctor visit every week as her husband was no doctor, just a scientist who couldn't care less. Why did they even marry?

Dottore brought his mother meals every day - at least whenever a helpful aunt came over. Dottore pretty much looked up to the doctor that came over every week. Did he also become so clever and brilliant to maybe help his mother? He sure thought so.

Day and night the young boy spend hours of looking into medical books, learning anything he possibly could. Often would he fall asleep on the ground, all exhausted from studying. He wanted to help his mother.

Besides studying medical stuff and trying to do anything that would make his father give any attention, he'd also spend other day and nights to get the best of grades, always did he bring good ones home. Never would you see anything below 95 points. Dottore didn't even think about having friends, they only were in his way and annoying. He had no time for friends, he only had himself.

Everytime he brought good grades home, he would bring the paper to his mother. She was more than proud of him. „One day you'll be such a handsome man, helping out so many people.. You make your mother really proud..”the sweet voice spoke. He couldn't let his mothers expactions down now could he?

More and more years have passed. Years of studying, years of writing good grades, years of wanting his father to also be proud of him. Dottore was under a pressure of making his parents be nothing, he didn't want to be a good-for-nothing, - a pressure he put himself under. He just wanted to mean something to both of his parents. He wanted to be worth living. Something cracked in the mind of his.

One day, the boy came home in the cold times of the years but he had great news, he scored the best once more in a big test, wanting to share the great news to his mother. He hadn't seen his mother since yesterday, he was happy to see his mother again. „Mother! Mother! Look!”he said proudly as he ran upstairs, he didn't even put his backpack down. „..Mother?”he asked as he entered the room. He walked over to the bed and looked at his mother. Her eyes were closed, chest not rising nor sleeping. „...?” he gently shook his mother, having his hand on the mother's arm, he felt the coldness. The heater was on, how could she get so cold? It got him worried.

„Mother??”he asked loudly, keeping on shaking her till he heard it knock on the door. He put his test paper on the bed and walked downstairs. He opened the door, looking at who was knocking. It was the doctor, wanting to check on the mother as always. „Uhm Doctor.. I don't think mother is feeling well.... She's quiet and so cold..” he spoke. The doctor looked at him. „..?..”the doctor quickly walked upstairs, of course did the boy walk after him. Dottore stood at the door frame, watching the man.

The doctor stood there silently for a few seconds, shrugging a bit together as he suddenly left the room, walking downstairs. „Where's your father kid??” he asked. „I..don't know. He was suddenly gone one day 2 years ago or so..”he answered. „..what?? Then where's your aunt, let me call her, boy.”

Dottore didn't quite understand what was going on but he knew nothing good happen. He looked back at his mother. He walked up to her, climbing onto the bed and hugging his beloved mother. He brushed away the long dark blue hair. Silently, he sank his head on the mothers chest, closing those pure red eyes. He widened his eyes a little as he heard no heartbeat. „...Mother..”. What a shame, he was just supposed to turn 14 in a few days.

Many many more years have passed. While he grew up along his aunt, Dottore had not given up what he did before. Now he had to make his aunt all proud, now that he's the oh so poor failure that couldn't save his mother hm? At least he thought that way, again.

Now being proud 20 years, living on his own in a old lab, doing various of experiments no one would like to recall. He'd just become the madman his father once was. The word "failure" does not exist for him. He cannot be a failure once more, after all.. He's such a big genius. How could a hardworking child with a great smile go to a madman with a short temper who's plans cannot go wrong?

So judgemental the god of his homeland Fontaine, so the people. Fontaine's people were disgusted of the man, afraid of him, they wanted him gone.

Chased away with pitchforks, clubs and angry words, he took fled to the all famous Sumeru Academia where he continued his crazy studies and experiments. He had so many logical theories, yet no one wanted to hear them. One would not even like to look at him. He truly was sick of everyone, of everything.

Years later again, once more the man took fled. Next day awoken, the social reject's legs have given up. Falling into the sand, with a little lake aside, he took a look at his reflection. Half of his face had gotten burn scars, had the man's charm left his side too? Hand covering half the man's face, he remembered it all.

A night of a harmless experiment with potions and fire had kept the man awake. Yet, the man had been tired. Sitting at the table, where he rest his head on his palm, the man closed his eyes. Dottore silently listened to the liquid heating up under the hottest flames. Maybe him closing his eyes was a terrible mistake which he soon got to suffer for.

The liquid had been heated up too much, the man should've turned off the fire by now but he soon was about to reach the beautiful dream realm. Glass exploding and hot liquid splashing against half his face awoke the man. Quickly the man stood up and pressed the towel against his face, sharp breaths escaping, silent cries filling the room, free hand turning off the fire.

How foolish of him, hm?

The man shook his head and closed his eyes. A grip on his shoulder made the man turn around. „..Fatui?”

"Merely an enhanced human? If your great nation can furnish me with sufficient resources and ample time, I could even manufacture that which you would call a god. What say you?"

True indeed. First of the fatui has tracked him down. In the desert that shone bright like liquid gold, he inquired of the Snezhnayan diplomat:

"Will you treat me like the Academia did? Will you call me a monster, a madman?"

"Or will you treat me as my hometown did, and chase me away with pitchforks and clubs...?"

...

"Good. Then, we are now in partnership."

"As for the matter of your title — what do you say to this..."

Taken completely by surprise by the sheer irony of the title he was given, the young man burst into hysterical laughter.

If you'd know ask the man about his theories and experiments, shall you see a sparkle of excitement...

...

(Drawing of Dottore in the age of four. From right to left -> "Daddy" "That's me!" "Mommy")

[blushinggray]

Free! The Final Stroke screeching/reaction (spoilers)

AHHHHH I JUST WATCHED THE FINAL STROKE MOVIE TODAY IN THEATERS ON PREMIER DAY AND IT WAS LAKSJDFOAIFJWOEI to summarize it all, it was Very Gay, which was to be expected but they DID NOT have to get so freaking extra with it 😩😩😩

much screaming and many spoilers ahead

FIRST OF ALL, KIRISHIMA NATSUYA: HE WAS SO FUCKING HANDSOME DAFKJOIEFJOSIDJF. SO HANDSOME. SO HANDSOME AND STUPID AND OVERLY FRIENDLY AS WE LOVE HIM TO BE ALKDSJFOAIEW.

he was in the film for a total of maybe 5 minutes altogether, which was kind of a lot bc the film kind of was just putting all the characters back in for the sake of putting them in imo? for the fans, lol. so everyone could see their faves. and in these five minutes that he appeared, our mans:

bragged about his little brother he's so proud of

got laughed at by nao for being natsuya (aka dumb and straightforward) as usual

trained with sousuke (he was hanging out in the same pool with him, nao, and makoto to train and aid in sousuke's rehab training)

got a call from ikuya after the international swimming competition in sydney!!!! in that same cafe he's always at!!!! and he was with nao at the time he got the call. casual and cool as always, being the cool big brother or whatever. he ended the call with a curt, "you got it. see you. don't catch a cold."

HE WAS HANGING OUT AT CAFE MARON WHILE THEY WAITED FOR THE SYDNEY COMPETITORS TO COME BACK TO JAPAN. HE WAS BEHIND THE COUNTER WITH ASAHI (WHO WAS HOLDING BABY TSUKIMI IN A CARRIER ON HIS CHEST!!!!!) AND HE THREW HIS ARM AROUND ASAHI AND WAS GETTING SO CLOSE LIKE ALKSDJFAOIEJAOEI. I have absolutely no clue what he was saying at the time bc i was too busy freaking out and trying to hold in the sounds bc the theater was so quiet. but his GODDAMN FACE. HE WAS SMIRKING. SO HANDSOME 😩😩😩😩😩😩😩

and of fucking course, they were all out together at a restaurant when the sydney competitors came back, and he was like, "wth no one else is drinking alcohol tonight?" and nao was like "ofc not haha" AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT

HE FUCKING FALLS ASLEEP AT THE TABLE AFTER DRINKING AND EVERYONE IS SURROUNDING HIM AND PATTING HIM LIKE "dude..." and ikuya is sitting there like, omg can't believe this mess is my brother....

i thought that just might be his last scene in the film but then we show back up to the kirishima household and natsuya is eating some sort of luxury holiday(?) bento and ikuya is like "aren't you gonna save any for me?" and natsuya's like "of course not. this is for me, you gotta wait until next year xD" and then ikuya just fucking SNATCHES up several different foods and stuffs his face with all of them and natsuya starts arguing with him over them laskjdfoawiefjao where was this brotherly affection all this time?????

and then cut to a few seconds later, natsuya's bumming in his room on the floor like in s3 when ikuya comes in and tells him about his new future goals and alskdjfaoei brothers sharing their ambitions together 😩😩 WHAT IS GOING ON. EVERYONE GETS ALONG SO WELL NOW???

NEXT: we'll go back to the beginning i guess lmfao but they're preparing for some sort of university festival

we start off with an easily misunderstandable shoujo-style situation where asahi is talking to ikuya like, "i know it's your first time... you don't have to be nervous. i know you can do it." and ikuya's like "no! i can't 😣" like the tsun he is backed up against the wall. and then it turns out they're trying to make a mille feuille cake.... but everything he's made so far looked like crepes

and for some damn reason, KISUMI comes outta nowhere into the kitchen and is like "ooooh what's this? a mille feuille cake? although they all look kinda like crepes haha ^^" and then ikuya RUNS THE FUCK OUT OF THE KITCHEN, yelling, "i told you i couldn't do it!!!" like the fucking tsun he is... and asahi is yelling at kisumi like "why did you just say that!!!" and starts rubbing his knuckles into kisumi's head and kisumi's just laughing like, "oh did i do that hehe"

and for some reason... seijuurou is working at the booth in his speedo and swim team jacket. i mean i'm not complaining but sir.... PLS TAKE MY MONEY AND GIVE ME YOUR FAT OCTOPUS BALLS. (he literally started a batter mixing competition with hoshikawa inside the booth, like what are they even doing in the same booth???)

then rin and sousuke show up to ikuya, asahi, and hiyori(?)'s booth, and they're offering them the crepes and then they get into a conversation about smth that leads into them showing the embarrassing photos they have of each other?????? like ikuya has a pic of rin in his maid costume for some reason??? (tho it isn't shown) and rin shows an embarrassing pic of ikuya he has in his phone that he got from natsuya???????????? and then ikuya starts chasing after rin yelling at him to delete it lasdkjfoaei

and then haru is off to the side selling ugly ass bird mascots again lmfao. bc ofc he is. love that weirdo

BUT THE REAL KICKER HERE IS KINJOU!!!!!!!!!!!

APPARENTLY, HIS VILLAIN BACKSTORY COMES FROM HIS CHILDHOOD CRUSH (/exaggerated) ON HIYORI ALSKDJFOAIE WHAAAT. apparently he was that annoying kid in the playground who would go up to hiyori and bother him bc he wanted a friend. bb hiyori was literally like "why are you even talking to me so much?" in his sandbox. and bb kinjou is like, "well there's gotta be smth you like, right? what is it?" and hiyori's like "well i feel kinda happy when i'm swimming... :)" as images of ikuya flash into his mind, that gay ass

BUT KINJOU'S GAY ASS EYES START SPARKLING TOO AND THEN HE'S LIKE "I GOTTA LEARN WHAT THE BIG DEAL ABOUT SWIMMING IS" and he runs home, begs his brother to take him to the pool. but next time he brings his swimming stuff with him to the playground, hiyori isn't there anymore and apparently he left for america at that time (or smth). so poor baby basically got ghosted

but hiyori still knows him when they're older!!!! kinjou shows up when they're throwing out the trash after the uni festival and calls out to hiyori to taught him (which is where that bullying preview scene came from i guess) and alkfjeoiaejoaifj omfg it's like that estranged childhood friends (sorta) trope but it'll never go kinjou's way bc hiyori is and will always be in love with ikuya 😔

kinjou would make such a good yandere tho!!!! he has a feral expression on a few times throughout the movie, and during a race he gets super competitive mid-race and... ngl he was kinda sexy 😳 i'm actually kind of surprised by how taken i was with him in this movie. doesn't help that he's unfairly handsome and his hair looks fucking amazing. i MAY OR MAY NOT be exploring this man in the future..................

i also found the ending with haru pretty interesting!!!! it kind of hints at neurodivergence? smth along the lines of disassociation or multiple personalities? (guess 50% off was kinda right on that end lmfao).

he gets obsessed with beating albert wahlander, which is the most fired up i've ever seen him (to the point of almost hurting himself) and then the shadow or whatever effect albert has on haru kind of just overtakes him and pushes haru out of his own body in a way... it doesn't make sense to describe it this way, i know, but haru is literally watching himself say hurtful things to his friends while being overtaken by this... albert obsessed persona?

it's so interesting to see haru being the one obsessing over someone instead of the other way around for once!!! at the end of the movie (after all the credits) haru says the same thing he once said at the beginning of season 1? about how "at age 5, you're a prodigy. at age 15, you're a genius. at age 20(?), you're average." and this is def gonna be explored/concluded in the second part of the final stroke movie so i'm excited for that!!!! april 2022 come at me!!!!

there were SOOOOO many other things going on, plot wise and fanservice wise, and ofc kyoto animation was fucking TOP TIER SHIT. all the water effects... there was a shot where haru was looking at his reflection in the water and they make a drop fall and spread and shake his reflection in the waves and it was lafkjsefoiaeja fucking glorious. the soundtrack was lovely too. there was a RADWIMPS-esque beginning song and a sexy ass electric guitar buildup for kinjou (which may or may not be contributing to my growing obsession with him...)

AHHHH!!!! it was so good and everyone was so cute and handsome and gay and funny. we literally see every single character we've met before in some way, shape, or form lmfao. i might just go back to the theater and watch it again on one of the upcoming holidays this week.... SO GOOD. SO GOOD.

I LOVE ALL THESE GAY SWIMMING BOYS SO MUCH 😩😩😩

[rainii-reads]

Chateau

DESCRIPTION: After a fateful encounter, you and Yoongi have finally decided to go public with your relationship.

This was inspired by the song Chateau by Tokio Hotel. Bolded dialogue are direct lyrics.

WORD COUNT: 1, 903 PAIRING: Idol!Yoongi x Reader GENRE: Fluff and comfort

Warnings: Implied slut shamming; analogies referencing cuts (there is no self-harming, only references to words hurting.)

Author’s note: This is my first fanfiction for BTS, and my first story in a long, long time. Hope it’s not too bad! You can also read it on AO3.

🌸

Taking up Arms: ARMY Feuds Over SUGA and Y/N

As news of BTS’s SUGA sweeps the kPop world, fans are divided. Many ARMYs citing Y/N as a clout seeker - stealing their Min SUGA. ARMY’s on the offense challenge the perceived ownership of the Bangtan rapper. This brings to question, however, do these fans approve of the relationship or are they simply defending SUGA?

The Next Yoko Ono: Will Y/N be the end of Bangtan Sonyeondan

Silence rings clearer than the stroke of the keyboard. Three weeks have passed since word broke of the famous rapper’s new relationship. The onslaught of hatred continues to poor out in droves, yet silence remains from the musician’s fellow members. Is it possible the six comrades also dislike Y/N?

Anti-Y/N Accounts Take Twitter by Storm

In the last week Twitter has taken action and began removing dozens of accounts dedicated to canceling Y/N. While Twitter works to delete the insults and threats of harm, where is Big Hit? Will they take action to protect BTS’s SUGA and his new sweetheart?

“Sweetheart?” You snapped. “And what’s with the italics – we all know you’re being sarcastic. No need to lay it on thicker.” You fumed for a moment longer, at the snippy report, before you found your laptop being pulled from your grasp. You dared not look up at the sleepy gaze of the man in debate.

“Sweetheart, why are you reading the headlines again?”

It was the truth. Your streak of laziness was something Yoongi often appreciated about you. It resulted any many home dates and working side-by-side in the Genius Lab at all hours of the day. Shared moments you loved. However, you couldn’t handle any more inquires from that man, he had been unyielding for days, and you were slowly breaking.

“Excuse me, are their free refills on black coffee?”You had asked, trying to spare him from the one-sided conversation (if it could even be called that). Yoongi used the moment to escape and take a seat at the table nearest you, waiting for his iconic iced-americano. You remember the sweet smile he gave you as he mouthed ‘thank you’ – the start to your simple chitchat about the shop’s décor and more.

You often giggle as you remember the notes you passed on the plane ride home. The ones kept safe in your nightstand. Had you not looked up, the moment he walked down the cramped isle, Yoongi wouldn’t have shared a smile with you, before taking his seat in first-class.

Within an hour of the flight, a young, excited stewardess had come to your seat handing you a folded sheet of paper. Noticing she was waiting for you to read the note, you unfolded it and struggled to stifle the laugh that emerged. “So, who is your bias?” Yoongi wrote in memory of when your phone rang at the coffee shop, announcing your ARMY status as Converse High played. It was the rare time you had left your sound on.

From time to time, you wondered about the excited flight attendant. You wish you could see her again just so you could tell her thank you for putting up with Yoongi’s archaic flirting. Had she not been so kind and willing, your relationship may not have formed.

These and many more memories were what put you to ease when you sat in a conference room at HYBE Entertainment. It was there where plans were made for the announcement your relationship with the one and only Min Yoongi of BTS. Photos of your not-so-secret dates had progressively found their way onto Tumblr and Twitter, gaining the attention of gossip sites. However, it was more appropriate to call it an interrogation than a planning session.

“Y/N,” you remember the head of PR starting, “Are you sure there are no past scandals that will cause Min Yoongi any problems?” The intention behind ‘scandals’ had not been lost on.

Your usual demeanor was gone as you snipped back. “I’m pretty sure I was too lazy to have any scandals.”

Yoongi snorted as he held back his laugh.

It was the truth. Your streak of laziness was something Yoongi often appreciated about you. It resulted any many home dates and working side-by-side in the Genuis Lab at all hours of the day. Shared moments you loved. However, you couldn’t handle any more inquires from that man, he had been unyielding for days, and you were slowly breaking.

Your sarcasm hadn’t gone unnoticed. “Do you not understand what kind of position you are putting our artist and company in? We need to be prepared for whatever we will need to clean up after you. You need to take this seriously.” Intentions ringing clearly, again.

In your heart, you knew he trying to do right by Yoongi and the company, but the judgement that wove into his words cut. You also took offense to how he made you sound like a disease that clung to Yoongi, bringing him harm.

As you looked back, it was the first of many wounds that told you, you were unworthy of Min Yoongi.

“Y/N is very aware of what implications a public relationship will have.” The man in question spoke, his tone shifting as he said, “She is more than clear of any scandals. Worst we’ll see are malicious lies and rumors – no truth within them – and that is where this discussion will end.” As Yoongi spoke, his few words carried immense weight. For each previously inflicted cut, his words bandaged themselves around to ease the pain.

Heeding the warning, the interrogation ended, and the meeting regained its original focus: preparation for the announcement and aftermath.

Two weeks after the tense convening, the news was released through an official statement form HYBE, confirming the relationship of Min Yoongi and his new girlfriend. The media and social-media platforms were instantly in a frenzy and, as planned, everyone remained silent. It had been decided that everyone would keep silent for a month, to see what would earn a response.

That singular month had been the sharpest cut to your fragile skin.

_______________________

Breaking through your thoughts, Yoongi spoke again, “Y/N.”

You looked up at him, finally, and sighed. “I’m sick, okay? I can’t help but want to see what is being said about me, about us. Did you see they’re calling me Yoko Ono? Will the media ever cease with the constant Beetles comparisons? Don’t they see you guys are tired of responding to the accolades?”

He spared you a look, leaving you to end your rambles. The rambles he knew you were using to deflect from your current, unhealthy obsession.

“I really can’t help it Yoongi,” You sighed. “In less than a week we can finally speak out and I need to know what I’m defending myself against.”

In an almost languid fashion, he placed the laptop down and sat next to you. Pulling you closer as he organized his thoughts. “That’s not really for you to worry about. The company and I will handle that.”

“No, I need to do something. I can’t just hide behind you. People are talking about us and they’re going to watch and critique every little thing we do. I know that isn’t what we discussed, but this anxiety is unlike anything else.”

He reached out and gently ran the tips of his fingers down the sides of your face, smoothing out any traces of stress. The very hand that famously held a tight grasp on a black microphone, was now the source of your ease. The very hand that was adored by many, was saved for you.

“Here’s the thing,” he spoke slowly, “People are gonna talk. So, let them talk; let them talk about us. People are gonna watch. So, let 'em touch, let 'em see, let 'em feel what love is.”

They were simple words, yet, as the always did, they healed the damages from the last three weeks.

Tears overwhelmed your eyes, gliding down to touch the tips of his fingers. “Let it all go, since it finally happened.” He had worried about the brave face you had been parading. “I know they’re going to talk. I know they’re going to watch. Baby, I don’t mind as long as it’s you and I. We’ll just let them see what real love is.”

As you processed the abundance of emotions that had accumulated, Yoongi held you close. Occasionally whispering the right sentiments to soften the anxiety more. While you laid with him, you wondered: Exactly how much had to go right for you to be with him? The gossip columns may say that the two of you were different, too different in fact, but your time together showed you how alike you were. How right you were for each other.

Many more challenges awaited you, but with him you knew it would be fine. You were not coming down from your cloud.

_______________________

Later that evening, as the tears dried and the anxiety eased to rest, you proposed a trip. “Hey, the next time were in California we should stay at the Chateau Marmot.”

“Isn’t that place haunted?” His abundance of quirky knowledge never ceased to amaze you.

After a quick search to confirm, you scratched the plan. “I’ll find another chateau. One free of the paranormal.”

A short moment of silence passed before you asked your next thought, “What did you mean earlier when you said, “let them touch”?

Yoongi looked up from his phone and paused for affect. “Don’t know. It just sounded right in my head – I didn’t mean anything weird by it.” He laughed, exposing his renowned smile.

“Pervert.” You teased, tossing a pillow his way.

In an unexpected fashion, Yoongi lunged forward seeking retaliation. Having not anticipated it, you stumbled off the bed, in an attempt to run away, but he pulled you back before you could escape. In the most cliché of moments, he tickled your sides until the fits of laughter led to you sharing a loving gaze and slow kiss.

“You’re right,” you said as your lips separated, “Let ‘em talk – we’ll show them what real love it.”

_______________________

The Power Couple that is Y/SN

A year has since passed since news of Y/SN occupied our every thought. In celebration of our favorite power couple, we’ve broken down the Top 10 Reasons why we love Y/SN!

Goals: How do we land a relationship like SUGA and Y/N’s?

Recently, photos and videos of a not-so-secret date between SUGA and Y/N made their way onto the internet. As the young couple is seen leaving Chateau de Sureau, they’re hand-in-hand showing signs of laughter. The love between the two is so clear not even an anti-Y/SN could deny it. So, the question remains, how do we get our own fairytale romance?

We’ve been asking, but has SUGA?

The question all fans of Y/SN have been wanting to know: When will SUGA ask the big question? Our sources suggest it may be sooner than you might think. As BTS wraps up their latest world tour, preparing to go back to the studio, rumors of the young rapper ring shopping have bubbled up. Whether this is true or not remains to be seen, but we look forward to the exciting news for our favorite couple.

[haddocknumber3]

Why the Supernatural Finale was Bad and Misguided

(This is the script I wrote for a video essay I uploaded to Youtube so that’s why there are lines across the page at points because it was broken up into sections that I could record individually)

The Finale of Supernatural was bad.

There, I said it. Now I know the finale was pretty divisive and there’s a lot of people who really loved it and that’s absolutely okay. I do understand most of the viewpoints that have been made to defend the finale. First though, I want to give a brief history of me and the show.

I started watching Supernatural in Feb 2019 when a friend recommended it to me. Like so many other people who have fallen in love with the show, once I started watching I couldn’t stop. I absolutely loved it and luckily I started watching at the perfect time because I was able to watch the final season live with everyone else which is an experience I will always cherish, regardless of my opinions towards the finale.

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When 15x19 was released, I was on holiday and while I thought of waiting till I got home to watch it along with the finale, I decided to jump into it. Sadly, I was a little underwhelmed going into it because I saw a minor spoiler on Rob Benedict’s Instagram with him posing with Jared, Jensen and Alex saying “That’s it for me. What a ride. Thank you again to this amazing cast, crew, and group of writers past and present. And to the best fans in the world. My life is forever changed.”

Regardless of that though, I still really enjoyed the episode. It felt rushed but I was still really satisfied with it and I was pumped to see where the final episode would take things…

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In the week leading up to the final episode, I deleted all social media and stayed away from anything that could possibly provide spoilers for the finale. I was so damn excited. I was just as excited about the finale of SPN as I was about Endgame the year prior, which I’ll also be doing a video on soon. So when I finally got home from holiday I jumped straight on the CW website and watched the finale.

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Guess what? I absolutely loved it. I couldn’t have asked for a better finale. I cried my eyes out and I had never felt that level of heartache towards any piece of media ever, besides maybe Schindler's List and Life is Beautiful. But as the final scene played, I sat back with incredible satisfaction. I was so sad but so happy at the same time. However when I started reading the reviews I was taken aback by the negativity towards the finale. I genuinely didn’t understand and took the stance of ‘Oh these people just don’t understand the show they're watching and they just didn’t get it.”

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Yeah…I was one of those people. I read into a few reasons why people didn’t like the finale and I sort of understood their stance, but I still remained firm with my opinion. However, over the last few months my opinion had begun to change.

It’s now May 2021 as I’m writing this and I can firmly say that the finale of Supernatural is bad. Actually, it’s really bad. 

Not only have I now changed my opinion on 15x19 which I now consider to be a good, but not that great penultimate episode, but I genuinely believe that this finale, 15x20, destroyed the progress of 15 seasons worth of character development and story for a simple and misguided finale. In this video I’ll be breaking down why that is, and an ending of my own that would hopefully satisfy all fans. Here’s how to flush 15 years and 15 seasons of television down the drain:

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 Title card: ‘Thematic Inconsistencies’

A REALLY great video by Media Buzzkill called ‘The Fiction of Free Will: A Supernatural Video Essay’ breaks down the final episode along with the final season exceptionally well and I’ll link that video in the description because they go really in depth with the concept of meta and how it fits into the show’s narrative and man, I keep re-watching it because it’s brilliant and an almost perfect summary of my feelings towards the finale.

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The thematic inconsistencies present in the finale are quite astounding to be frank because the penultimate episode was the perfect way to set up the final episode, simply with the thematic question of: What do Sam and Dean do once the story is over? What do they really want out of life now that they have finally escaped the hamster wheel.

By the end of 15x19, there are a few thematic through lines that are present that should have been followed through on in the finale in order to make a satisfying conclusion to the story:

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-        The concept of freedom for the Winchesters and what that means for both of them as individuals. (I’ll talk more about this during the character section of the video as I’ve got a lot to say about it and I want to talk about other things first.)

-        Family don’t end in blood (this is made clear by the extensive and frankly amazing montage at the end.)

-        Meta narrative

Thematically, it’s clear from the Season 14 finale that the final season was going to be focusing on the brilliant meta narrative that the show had already been toying with for over a decade, ever since Chuck was originally introduced.

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In my opinion, this was the only direction for the show to go in during its final season as they would have been able to tie up all the loose ends the show had whilst making the season feel grand and conclusive. By doing this, it makes the entire show feel much tighter as a result. Why? Because, in retrospect it’s made very clear where the show is heading, and it also bolsters the concept of the meta narrative which then only really allows for one type of ending that would feel satisfying. That is; Sam and Dean defeating Chuck and gaining their freedom from the story.

Thematically this is pure genius, and it seemed like we were going to get that ending after all…  *sigh*

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Sadly, in the finale, everything that had been set up beforehand was utterly destroyed in one single episode. Instead of leaning into the thematic question of; what do Sam and Dean want now that they’re out of the story, the finale goes the opposite route and has them continue hunting. The exact same thing that they have been doing all their lives. It also strays away from that thematic question by doing exactly what shouldn’t have happened. Thematically, the finale stated that even though Sam and Dean had defeated Chuck and overcome his story, they still ended up meeting the same fates that they had previously wanted or desired. However, that’s another thing entirely that I’ll go into a little later. 

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Again though, the finale states that no matter what conflict you may overcome, no matter how hard you push to gain the freedom you never thought you could have, you will never achieve it because you're destined to the fate you previously desired/thought you deserved at the start of the story. This is genuinely the worst possible ending as it directly conflicts with the concept of the meta narrative that they had been building throughout the entire final season. 

A common defence of the finale that many people have given is that the show began with two brothers, so therefore the fact that it ended with the two brothers is narratively and thematically perfect. In some ways that is true and I’ll get into why that is later, but the way that was executed in the finale and how that concept was used, was terrible. 

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The show did start with the two brothers, alone on the road hunting the evil supernatural beings of the world. In the beginning, the themes were pretty clear. Family and love will triumph over any evil, and nothing is stronger than family, hence the phrase “Family don’t end in blood”. These themes were presented narratively through the brother’s relationship and how far they would go for one another to protect each other, even sacrificing themselves. However, this ISN’T how the show should have ended. Yes, those themes are still relevant and should’ve remained consistent even until the final episode, but to say that it’s perfect for the brothers to start the show alone and end the show alone with the same mindset and thematic outlook as the beginning is ridiculous. 

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To have the finale only centre around the brothers is a good idea, but the thematic choices along with the character’s fates was incredibly contradictory and awful to everything that had been set up before, but again I’m going to delve into this aspect a little bit later.

For the writers to revert the narrative of the final season back to the first season in the final episode is monumentally wrong and misguided. As a result of this, the final episode feels like a strange nostalgia trip, until you realise that it is an episode that literally belongs right in the middle of season 1. If Supernatural was only ever a 1 season show, then this finale would have been practically perfect. But it’s not. It’s a 15 year long show with characters that undergo incredibly difficult character struggles that allow them to change for the better. So for the ending to chuck them right back to where they started is frankly stupid and kind of insulting.

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Title card: ‘Characters’

Before I dissect the characters of Sam and Dean and their role in the finale, I’m going to lay out a brief thought process that I’m going to use when analysing them. You may have heard this in other formats but if you haven’t then I’ll reiterate it here.

Most characters must have two things in order for a story to be strong, compelling, and satisfying. Those two things are WANTS and NEEDS. When a character wants something, that’s what drives their motivation throughout the story and what guides their decisions. It also affects how they relate and interact with other characters. 

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A need is the thing the character must face and come to terms with, in order to complete their character arc and satisfy the requirements of the story.  By learning that what they want is either not achievable or goes against what’s truly important to them, they must satisfy that need for the benefit of themselves and the people around them. This makes for a satisfying and logical ending to the story as the character is no longer driven by something they want, but is driven by their need, depending on what it is.

Now, let’s go back to Supernatural shall we?

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In the beginning of the show, Sam and Dean started off wanting separate things since they were individuals who had their own goals, aspirations, and motivations.

Sam wanted to live a normal life; go to college, meet a girl, get a job in law, and hopefully start a family of his own. This changed however at the end of the Pilot to Sam wanting revenge against the demon that killed Jess.

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Dean wanted Sam back in the life of hunting with him as he didn’t want to go off to try and find their Dad alone. Dean also wanted to keep hunting as he felt like it was all he was good for and his only purpose in life. Also, its made quite clear during the first season that Dean has incredibly low self-worth. As pointed out in Castiel’s confession scene during 15x18, Dean thinks of himself as “destructive, angry, broken, “Daddy’s blunt instrument.” As a result of this, he’s made it clear that he wants to die. How does he WANT this to happen? Blaze of glory, going out on a hunt, dying bloody, the way he’s always thought he deserved, and due to his low self-worth, he has accepted that and come to terms with that fate, hence his macho manly man facade he puts on in front of people. That is what he wants at the beginning of the show. Even though he has died over and over again in gruesome ways, his permanent death was supposedly destined to be going out on a regular hunt, blaze of glory, saving people, hunting things, the family business. At least that’s what he thought he deserved…

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However by the end of the series, he’s gained enough self-worth to realize that’s not what he wants anymore. *play the clip from season 1 where Dean talks about retiring on a beach* also *play the clip in 15x19 where Chuck calls Dean the ultimate killer and Dean responds with that’s not who I am”.

This is a really good penultimate stepping stone in terms of Dean’s character arc and how it wraps up because he has finally gained a proper sense of self-worth, not by defeating Chuck, but by realizing that who he truly is, and who he really wants to be isn’t dictated by the story that Chuck had written. 

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Media Buzzkill mentions it in their video but something the final season really dropped the ball on was the parallel between John and Chuck; both abusive and neglectful fathers who tried to control their children’s lives. For Dean to finally overthrow Chuck and gain his freedom, thematically he could have gained his freedom from the path his father set him on ever since he was a young kid. But since the season didn’t lean into that parallel, this wasn’t officially a thing that was going on. However I still like to think of it that way. Back to the point though.

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As a result of Dean gaining his freedom from Chuck and finally claiming his own autonomy, he is now able to complete his character arc as he has put aside his WANTS that he had at the beginning of the show (dying young on a hunt, always having to protect Sam no matter what the personal toll it takes on him) and fulfilled his NEED to achieve a status of self-worth and self-actualization in order to benefit himself and the people around him. Another point to affirm this is the fact that this couldn’t have happened without the meta story being involved. In my opinion this makes it all feel like a very logical, consistent and satisfying story for Dean. 

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The reason why I mentioned this as the perfect penultimate stepping stone for Dean’s character arc is that the question raised at the end of 15x19 still hadn’t been answered yet: “What do Sam and Dean want now that the story is over and they’re free?” I also know what you're going to say. “But isn’t it all about wants and needs? If they’re free from the story then shouldn’t they need to learn something instead of just getting what they want?” You may have a point, however due to the fact that the show has surrounded itself in the concept of meta narratives, then this is where the wants and needs don’t necessarily apply. The reason is that the finale should have followed through on what Sam and Dean needed, which was, by the time the finale started, to figure out a life that was beyond the confines of the story.

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Dean

I’m going to focus on Dean first because that’s the main thing I have an issue with in the finale, but I will talk about Sam afterwards.

By the time the finale started, Dean had finally fulfilled what he needed, which was a stable life that was beyond the story. He wasn’t dictated by some grand plan anymore and he finally had the freedom he deserved. Yes, he wanted this, but he also NEEDED to realize that in order for him to truly break the cycle and get off the hamster wheel, he needed to achieve a proper sense of self-actualization. If he wasn’t able to do this, then he truly would always have felt like he didn’t belong, even if he had gotten what he wanted (getting freedom from the story.) The reason why, is that after learning everything he had about Chuck, his manipulations, how Chuck had been controlling them their entire lives, for him to defeat Chuck, but remain in the status quo of what he’s always known, it would naturally cause him to feel unsatisfied with life and therefore would make us feel unsatisfied at the way the series ends… 

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Yes, I know that his identity is tied to being a hunter. I’m all for that because yeah even though Chuck had been controlling them their entire lives Dean still loved hunting even towards the end. But for Dean to not even consider any other kind of life outside of “the life” is strange because it seemed like that was the only direction for the story to take…But no, he stays with the life and decides to continue hunting and serving the role that he had been placed in from the time he was born; saving people, hunting things, the family business. The role he had been forced into his whole life, destined for nothing more...

Back to the events of the finale…

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Dean has continued hunting and he continues to live alone with Sam in the bunker. Yes, the pie scene was perfect. Well, not perfect, Sam bringing up Cas and Dean barely reacting and just sort of hand waving it was...a big yikes. But this video isn’t about Dean and Cas’ relationship (p.s I do support and like Destiel but I’m not going to delve into that in this video as people like Media Buzzkill have already done that really well in their own separate videos, which I’ll link in the description.)

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When Dean and Sam go on that final hunt and Dean gets impaled on the rusty piece of rebar, it was random, out of nowhere and confusing. Some say that this was perfect because they weren’t being dictated by the story anymore and accidents can happen to anyone for any reason. That’s just a part of being human. Right. Okay. Well, yes that may be true that they aren’t invincible now, but my god does that spit in the face of everything the characters had fought for. To say that even after defeating Chuck, even after escaping the story that had been written for them, after 15 years of defying their destinies, A CORE THEME OF THE SHOW FROM THE BEGINNING OF SEASON 1, to say that Dean just ends up dying on a random hunt, alone, with only his brother by his side and no one else from the family that he and Sam had built over the years, and that despite his current needs, he is still ultimately rendered to be the self-destructive, suicidal-idealist, “daddy’s blunt instrument” that he was at the beginning of the show is incredibly disrespectful and in some cases quite dangerous to the viewers of the show who have suffered from mental health issues. Why? Because the finale, along with Dean’s death, states unintentionally that you will never break out of your cycle, you will never escape your original fate, you will never achieve freedom, you will never achieve happiness in life, and possibly the worst sentiment of the entire ordeal is that you can only find peace in death. 

What a fucking waste. What a disgusting travesty of a finale. My god. 

*sigh*

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I understand the nostalgia behind it all. I get the nostalgic feelings of a classic Monster of the Week. When I originally saw the finale, I loved it, as I’ve previously stated in this video. I’m pretty much a nostalgia junkie, trust me, I can see it. I got all the references and little nods to the rest of the series like John’s journal, that random Jenny vampire chick, Dean’s love of pie, “I can’t do this alone, yes you can, well I don’t want to,” when Dean tells Sam that he stood outside his dorm for hours before the Pilot, Carry on My Wayward Son playing as Dean drives in heaven, Harvelles Roadhouse, OG Bobby, 

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WAIT. HOLD THE FUCKING PHONE. Record stops (say that quieter)

When Sam brings up Cas and how he misses him at the Pie festival, Dean addresses it by saying “That pain is not gonna go away, right? But if we don’t keep living, then all that sacrifice is gonna be for nothing.”

I actually don’t know what the fuck happened, but the writers are not dumb...They knew Dean would be dying in this episode right? SO WHY HAVE HIM SAY THAT IF THEY DONT KEEP LIVING THEN ALL THAT SACRIFICE IS GONNA BE FOR NOTHING UNLESS THE WRITERS WANTED IT TO MEAN NOTHING. 

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I...I have no words. This fucking ending man. OKay, sorry, let’s carry on with the video because I’m legitimately mad now and just want to get through this. 

To finish my point about Dean’s ending, he needed to leave the hunting life in one way or another. If he didn’t, and stayed in the life just like in the actual finale, then I have no doubt that he would begin to feel unsatisfied with life and eventually quit hunting at some point down the road. What I’m trying to say is the only logical ending for Dean Winchester, the man who’s entire identity is centered around hunting, needed to leave that life for something better. This wouldn’t have worked in a regular story where there wasn’t the concept of the meta narrative because if Dean just randomly decided to leave the life, even though he was already firmly a part of it then it would indeed be out of character for him. But since this is a meta story, Dean needed to achieve a sense of self-actualization that was beyond the story that had been written for him since he was born. Few, sorry, okay, onto Sam now. 

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Sam

So I don’t have as much to say about Sam than I did with Dean but I still think that this was the wrong ending for him. It isn’t actually too bad if I’m being honest, but it is still regressive and quite similar to Dean’s ending in many ways sadly. But there’s a core idea at the centre of Sam’s ending that I do think was a good idea, but it’s buried under so much crap and nonsense that it was deformed into something misguided, even if the idea itself isn’t bad at all. I’ll start with that first. 

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Sam being forced to witness his brother’s death is nothing new. But now that he is experiencing his supposedly final death, this causes him to leave the life entirely and go live an apple-pie life. It’s clear from this that he has finally learned to let go of his co-dependency issue with his brother. He has moved on. 

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The idea of Sam letting go of his co-dependency with Dean is great and it’s something I’m going to use in my own ending that I’ll detail later in this video. However, this issue is that the decision to let go is forced upon him through Dean’s death. It’s not a choice Sam makes to move away from Dean and let each other live separate lives, therefore bringing forth their individuality which is something Dean desperately needed this whole time. By omitting Sam’s choice to let Dean go and live a separate life, he is robbed of his agency and therefore makes his ending feel unearned and forced upon him. You may say that this would be out of character and strange for the brothers to do. They love each other so therefore they have no reason to not be in each other’s lives. That is correct, but I didn’t mean that they aren’t in each other’s lives in some form, just that they are separated and living different lives than each other. I’ll go more into detail when I give my pitch for an ending. 

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The next point I want to make about Sam’s ending is that he also regresses to what he previously wanted back in the early days of the show. Yes, I remember that he already lived a normal life back in Season 8 which could be evidence to support the idea that he still wanted that in Season 15. But no, that was almost half the entire length of the show ago. Sam has moved on from the idea of an apple pie life; living with a wife and kid, owning a home, having backyard barbecues, you get the picture.

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How interesting would it have been if he actually decided to stay in the life in some way. Maybe not actually hunting, but working from the bunker and helping other hunters with lore or other aspects like that. Maybe Eileen is there too? Maybe they're working together as a couple, not hunting, but being a safe haven for hunters where they can access all the lore they could dream of and find safety there. Almost like an upgraded version of Harvelle’s Roadhouse. Just an idea, but that would’ve been much better than what we actually got. 

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Title card: Stray thoughts

When you look at Season 15 alone, there's quite a lot of things the finale failed to conclude, address or clear up. 

Cas’ grace was failing

This could’ve been a really great plot point to play throughout the season because it would cause Cas to contemplate his uses and worth whilst stressing about the whole situation with Chuck as well as the Empty deal looming over him. But they didn’t address it at all. It just kinda...faded away and wasn’t brought up again. It wasn’t a massive thing but it would’ve been cool to see how that could’ve played out. 

Ruby asked Castiel to save her from the Empty (15x13)

The demons rising up against Rowena (15x13)

Dean doesn’t ask Jack to bring back Cas from the Empty (15x19)

Sam forgets about Eileen in 15x20

No closure for Dean and Castiel

We never see any of the side characters again who got Thanos snapped in 15x18

Jack’s explosion in the Empty made the Empty loud

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Those are the main points that the final season and the finale failed to address and even though they are minor points in the grand pantheon of issues with the finale, they still add up for me and are quite frustrating to think about. 

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Title card: My Ideal Finale

So, after all that I think I’ve made it pretty clear how I feel about the finale. There’s a few other points I wanted to make about the narrative of the final season as a whole in conjunction with the finale but I feel as if I’ve already said what I need to say. 

I’ve seen so many other people give their take on how the finale should’ve played out so now I want to give my version of events that would’ve given the show the proper send off it deserved, and the send off it was seemingly setting up.

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My finale would start with the same hunt that happened in the real finale. However, the opening scene is them fighting the vampires. As they’re fighting, Sam is wounded and needs to be taken to hospital. After he’s treated there, they return to the bunker. Sam wakes up from a nap and talks with Dean. They talk about how that was a pretty close call. Dean mentions that it should probably be their last case. Sam looks confused, and doesn’t say anything. Dean seems hesitant to discuss the prospect of that being their last case but he begins anyway. He mentions that he feels as if he’s been given a chance at a new life now that they’ve defeated Chuck. He states that if he keeps doing the same old, same old, then he’s afraid that he’ll waste his chance at freedom. Sam understands but points out that if they don’t do this, then who does. Dean ponders this for a second, as he’s done so many times over his life. Should he continue to sacrifice his chance at happiness and freedom so other people can live safely? 

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Obviously this question has popped up a lot throughout the show, and they’ve always chosen to stay with the life. Maybe hunting was a part of who they were, but they now had a chance to try something new. With Chuck not writing their story anymore, they get to write their own. Going wherever the story takes them. Finally free. 

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After this scene, the pie scene from the actual finale happens pretty much exactly how it originally happened, except for a few changes of dialogue and the scene would be extended to incorporate a visit from Bobby and Eileen. When Sam brings up Cas, instead of Dean saying what he said in the actual finale, he would say something along the lines of this:

“Yeah, I miss him too.”

Sam notices Dean is looking quite sad and asks him what’s wrong. 

“He sacrificed himself for me.”

“It came out of nowhere. We were trapped and Billy was banging on the door trynna get in when he…he said that he made a deal.” 

A tear rolls down Dean’s face. Sam notices, and moves closer to Dean and looks at him with a classic empathetic look from Sam. 

Dean blinks a few times and wipes the tear away. 

“Ah, I’ll tell you later” said Dean, as he began to tuck into a pie from the box on his lap. 

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Bobby then pulls up with Eileen. Sam and Dean go and greet them. They talk about Sam’s wound, Jack defeating Chuck and how he’s the new god, Sam and Eileen, who steps out of the car and Sam and her kiss. Bobby also asks what they’re going to do now that they’re free from Chuck. This leads into the question of whether or not they’re still going to continue hunting. Eileen looks inquisitive at the brothers too as she also wants to know what Sam wants now that Chuck has been defeated and he’s free. Sam says he wants to stay in the life and that he’s open to see what happens. Dean says that he’s not sure. Sam glances over at Dean, who notices but doesn’t look back. It’s clear to both Bobby and Eileen that this is a conversation that both brothers need to have in private before they could properly reveal anything to them. 

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Bobby tells them that everyone is going to have a big get together in the town of Kansas at a pub the following afternoon. Sam and Dean agree that they’ll be there. While Bobby waves to them goodbye and gets in the car, Eileen gives Dean a look, indicating that she wants to talk to Sam alone. Dean obliges with a little smile. Eileen asks Sam if he’s feeling okay after the wound from the previous hunt (they would’ve already texted about it.) During this conversation, Eileen asks if he and Dean are okay but Sam says he’s not sure. She questions him a bit more and Sam reveals to her that Dean wants to quit the hunting life for good. She can tell by the look on Sam’s face that he’s bothered by this, but she can also see a slight hint of understanding too. She smiles at him warmly and places a hand on his cheek. They lock eyes. Sam begins to smile.

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Dean is back in the driver’s seat of the Impala and is watching Sam and Eileen with a sad smile. He looks down at the drivers wheel and the smile fades. He closes his eyes and after a few seconds, he whispers “Jack? Hey man, hope the new job is treating you well” Dean smirks, but it fades quickly and his face resorts back to the grim look of...despair. “I know you said you wouldn’t be hands on, I get that, and I thank you. Another Chuck isn’t what we need right now. But...Cas, he didn’t deserve what he got. I didn’t ask you this before you left because everything was so crazy and we had just defeated Chuck you know, and I know it's only been a few weeks but, please, please can you bring him back. He didn’t deserve to die for…

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Dean stops praying. He looks back to Sam and Eileen, who are still talking. Suddenly Jack appears next to Dean, just as a tear rolls down his face. 

Jack greets Dean in usual fashion. Dean looks surprised and shocked, but glad to see him. Jack tries to explain to Dean that he can’t meddle in the Empty’s affairs as they’ve already poked and prodded it enough. Dean refutes this point by reminding Jack of what Cas would do, what any of them would do if one of them was in the same position. They continue to discuss Cas and the Empty and how it could work, but by the end Jack doesn’t speak. Both of them sit in silence. 

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After a while Jack turns to Dean and says “I’ll do what I can, but if it’s not possible then I’m sorry.” Dean nods his head but before Jack disappears, Jack says “Dean, I know it might be hard to understand right now but there is so much to be done in the universe. Things that have to be put right, Chuck messed up and now me and Amara have to balance things out. I know that sounds like I’m interfering but we aren’t. We are ensuring that things are allowed to be as they are, instead of them becoming something else. That’s why I have to leave this world very soon, I only have till tomorrow afternoon for me to try and get Cas back. After that, it will be a while before I can return, and even then I don’t know when exactly I’ll be back. I also can’t stay too long in the Empty either after what happened before. I still have to respect it’s power and the fact that I don’t have any real control over it. I’m sorry, Dean.” Jack disappears before Dean can say anything else. Just then, Dean notices Sam walking towards the Impala and wipes away the tears. As Sam sits down, he asks Dean if he’s okay, and Dean responds “Yeah, all good here.” They drive off. 

The next scene is Dean sitting in his room on his laptop, a few beers by the side of the bed. He looks toward his table on the other side of the room. A paper lies on top. Dean appears conflicted, but decides to go over and pick up the paper. We see it’s a job form. 

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Sam is sitting down at the table in the library. He’s also on his laptop and seems very focused on something on screen. Suddenly he grabs his laptop and stands up. He walks through the bunker to the door of Dean’s room. He goes to knock but pauses. He looks back to the laptop, where we can see a news posting saying that three people have turned up dead with their throats ripped out. Sam and Dean both sigh at the same time (Sam would be seen sighing and then quickly cut to Dean sighing too.)

Dean grabs a pen and goes to write on the job form, just as Sam knocks on the door. They greet each other, and both are a little startled. Sam asks Dean what he’s doing and Dean briefly looks at the form, but ends up saying it's nothing. Sam tells him about the case he’s found and Dean’s face tenses, which Sam notices. 

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“Or not, if you didn’t feel like it.” said Sam.

“No. No, it's fine” says Dean, who sighs, stands up and then asks where it is again. Once Sam finishes telling him, Dean looks back at the job form. 

“Sammy, I don’t think I’ll be going” says Dean

“Oh, okay, no worries, I’ll just call one of the other hunters” says Sam

“I don’t think I’ll be going on any more hunts.” Dean finally says. 

Sam doesn’t respond and is taken aback. Neither of them talk for a moment. (There would be a wide shot from inside the room, showing them standing still and silent.) 

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Dean takes the job form from the table and hands it to Sam, who looks at it. He doesn’t take his eyes off it. 

“I applied a few days ago, and I’ve got an interview the day after tomorrow. But, it’s in Denver Colorado. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, but I didn’t know how you’d react” said Dean. 

“Dean, I...I mean, I’m happy for you. I am. It’s just...I don’t know, it’s a big thing you know. But I thought we were done keeping secrets from each other, I thought we were over that crap” said Sam. 

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“This was different,”  said Dean plainly.

“How?” asks Sam. 

“Me, the guy who was destined to hunt till the day he dropped. You know this, that was who I was. Going out in a blaze of glory, bloody on a hunt” said Dean, “But now, everythings different. I realize now that...that isn’t who I am, and I can’t be destined for just that. If I was, then Chuck should’ve won. Because I’ll be damned if I let that be my ending. I’ve gotta write my own, and now with Chuck gone I finally have that chance. I can’t waste it Sammy.” As he says those last words, a few tears have fallen down his face. 

_______________________________________________________

Sam ponders Dean’s words for a few seconds then asks. 

“What about me? What am I supposed to do?”

Dean doesn’t respond. 

*a soft rendition of the piano solo in Americana plays, similar to the one played in 15x18, but softer and less solumn*

Dean looks sad, but also confident in his decision. Sam looks uncertain. 

Sam says:

“I can’t do this alone”

Dean responds with a sad smile: 

“Yes you can”

Sam says: 

“Well i don’t want to”

_______________________________________________

Slowly, through facial expressions, Sam recognizes those words, and remembers that fateful night when Dean came to pick him up from college; when Dad was on a hunting trip, and he hadn’t been home in a few days. His face turns into a sad smile. A tear rolls down his face. Dean now has a tear underneath his eye too as he looks at Sam. 

Sam slowly hands back the job form to Dean (This would be a close up on the hand over process to emphasize the choice Sam is making through the motion of handing back Dean the job form) He puts his laptop down, and the two brothers hug. The two of them stand there together. The two have tears rolling down their cheeks. 

_________________________________________________________

*piano solo ends*

*fade to black*

*fade in on the Impala outside the bunker*

Sam is leaning against it and is texting on his phone.

Text appears at the bottom of the screen saying its the next day

Dean exits the bunker and asks if Sam has got the address of the place where everyone is getting together and Dean confirms he does and that it's on the edge of town. He mentions that Bobby had been working on it for a while before the whole Chuck thing and he said that it was a surprise. Whatever that means.

__________________________________________________________

As the brothers are driving into town, Sam asks what time the interview is and Dean says that it's at 9am the next day so he will have to leave that night if he’s going to get a good sleep and be up early the next day. The time at that point would be around 3pm. Dean then asks how he and Eileen are, and Sam says that they’re going good, but mentions that she was a bit shaken from being Thanos snapped (he wouldn’t actually say Thanos snapped but something like it.) 

The two sit in silence for a while, until Dean puts on the radio. ‘Back in Black’ starts playing. The two smile and look at each other, before turning back to the road. They continue driving. 

They finally reach the pub and get out of the Impala. As they stare at the exterior, a gentle rendition of the first section of Americana plays (the opening minute) but this time it’s slower and almost sounds distant, and wistful. The two brothers look at each other before approaching the door. Dean checks the time, and looks concerned. Before they can open the bar door themselves, Charlie opens it and looks gleefully at the two before embracing them both in a group hug. 

____________________________________________________________

“I’ve been waiting for you guys!” says Charlie.

“Hey Charlie, how’s it hanging?” asks Dean

“Come have a look” she says with a smirk, before leading them inside. The bar is revealed to be one that resembles the old Harvelle’s Roadhouse. There is already a crowd of people, friendly faces and some unknown people. Sam and Dean reunite with a lot of fan favorite characters, however, Dean still looks slightly pensive. Sam takes notice of this and puts a hand on Dean’s shoulder. They look at each other just as the lights in the bar begin to dim and a piano solo starts playing. The song being played is the exact same version of Carry on My Wayward Son that was played in Season 10 Episode 5 titled Fan Fiction. This time, there isn’t any vocals, it’s just the piano solo. It continues until the part in the song where it would say “...don’t you cry no more”, then suddenly the doors open and Jack slowly walks through. The outside light shines through and is almost blinding to Sam and Dean who are covering their eyes with their hands. The music stops, and Jack steps aside to reveal someone. Dean lowers his arm and sees a friend standing before him. Someone who had been there for Dean through thick and thin. Someone who loved him no matter what Dean had though of himself. 

__________________________________________________________

“Cas?” he murmurs, before running to him and embracing him with a tight hug. Jack closes the door and the light adjusts. Suddenly a male voice starts singing from the stage. Everyone but Dean and Cas look. The voice is the lead singer of Kansas, who begins singing the classic version of Carry On My Wayward Son. 

_________________________________________________________

Dean and Cas lock eyes, and as the words “lay your weary head to rest, don’t you cry no more” are said, Dean and Cas place their foreheads together and smile while holding each other. Sam looks at them with a smile, just as Dean turns to him. The song kicks in at that moment with the instrumentals. Everyone is dancing now just as Sam, Dean, Cas and Jack all reunite together in one shot. They all sing along to the song with everyone else. It then cuts to different shots of them standing and laughing as well as interacting with other characters like Jody and Bobby or Eileen. In one of the shots, Sam and Eileen kiss and Dean looks at them with pride. The next shot is his hand, and someone else’s hand interlocks with his. It cuts back to Dean’s face smiling, as he turns to Cas, who is also smiling. 

__________________________________________________________

When the song finally comes to a close, Sam and Dean are both standing out front. They are leaning against the Impala. 

“I guess that was one hell of a curtain call” says Dean.

“I wouldn’t call it that” says Sam with a chuckle.

“Even if this is the end for now, at least it’s our ending. Not Chuck’s, not anyone else’s” 

“Damn straight” 

Dean smiles, and checks his phone. From here, the exact same scene on the bridge at the end of the real finale would play out. But in this version, instead of walking up to the railing and looking out over a valley, Dean would hug Sam, then get in the Impala and begin driving off. The music would also be identical too. 

________________________________________________________

As the guitar riff is playing the main theme (like in the original scene, its when it cuts to a wide shot and pans out) It cuts to a close up of Dean and it slowly zooms into his face smiling with a tear in his eye, then it cuts to a medium shot of Sam standing tall and proud. Bobby, Cas, Jack, Eileen, Jody, Charlie, Donna, Garth, walk up next to him as the music rises. Then it cuts to an extremely wide shot from up above, showing the Impala driving away down the long road with the sunset in the distance as well as Sam and the rest of their family standing outside the bar watching Dean drive off. The End.

________________________________________________________

So that was my ideal finale. It’s not perfect by any means and there’s no massive final confrontation, and the emotional arcs could be more fleshed out and explored. Also, the explanation for how Jack convinced the Empty to give back Cas would also need to be explained but I didn’t want to give a massive exposition dump in this already long video. 

I hope you liked it and I hope that it was at least a bit more satisfying than the actual finale. 

________________________________________________________

To conclude, I genuinely believe that Supernatural had the opportunity to give it’s audience a revolutionary kind of conclusion. It had the chance to be one of the most satisfying endings to any TV show ever made. It had the chance to be something more...and yet, it utterly failed in everything it attempted and sadly destroyed 15 years of build up, progress, and intricate character development for a finale that squandered not only the limitless and amazing potential it had, but it also squandered many fan’s passion for the show itself. At least that’s how I feel. If the show had even ended on Episode 19, then it would’ve been an incredibly rushed and convoluted conclusion but it would’ve been satisfying and I’m sure in time the people who didn’t like the episode much would have eventually come around to it. 

But at the end of the day, if you liked or loved this finale then I am happy for you. Regardless of my feelings towards this finale, I know what it feels like to love a piece of media that most people hate. 

__________________________________________________________

That’s me with HTTYD 3. But that’s a topic for another day. What I want to say is that if you do love this finale then all the power to you. While I personally hate it, that should not take away from your love towards it. 

[abbydramarambles]

The REAL Ending CLOY

This is my headcanon and you can’t tell me otherwise. The epilogue in Switzerland is set a few years after the events of that piano concert. They have already found a way to be together more permanently. To me the house doesn’t seem like a vacation house, it seems like a home home. 

There is that photo of Se-ri on the bridge, not something one would frame for themselves. RJH definitely lives there. Check out the north Korean coffee kettle and other souvenirs as well. This is the sort of stuff one would have in their home.

The only thing holding RJH to North Korean is his parents, the fact that they could be killed if he were to defect. After they die, he has no reason to stay. We’ve already been shown that he is resourceful and would know exactly how to get out. Not to mention that everything in north Korean runs on money, if you have connections like Se-ri and RJH do....anything is possible. And to me these two people with all their power, well they would find a way.

Dan’s mother travels out of the country a lot as well for business. I think the 2 weeks is the longest trip Se-ri takes while RJH’s parents are alive. It’s not the only trip of the year. I doubt her employees would be saying “you’re going to Switzerland again??” if it was a once a year sort of deal they wouldn’t think she had a man. They even say “it’s lasting a while this time”. Come on who in the world would think it’s a relationship if their boss goes to switzerland for 2 weeks a year. It’s her favorite 2 weeks of the year because of it being uninterrupted time. 

Well with her wealth and his determination, and connections via his family, I'm sure they'll find a way eventually, either it is his parents passing away (since it has been about 6 years between him going back to NK and the epilogue meetup), or him somehow getting a long term mentoring position at Switzerland. You’re telling me Dan’s mom a department store owner can swing to Europe anytime, and Se-ri who created a whole scholarship for her man can’t swing something in collaboration with Papa Ri?

I got the impression the student performing his song on stage was a full-time student in Switzerland. RJH is not studying abroad but is teaching NK scholarship winners. Seri has been traveling back and forth a lot but these two weeks are the longest continual time they have together. 

When Seri first sees him in Switzerland she asks how dangerous his journey was, and he didn’t answer, just said he got on the wrong train but reached his destination. “Destination” implies a final location to me, not just a two-week stay. For two people who find it torturous to be apart for even a moment, destination would not have been thrown around like that. It could’ve taken his Dad some time to manage the politics to make a permanent teaching position with the National Symphony. He did see his son cry in the car after leaving her. That man is powerful, the 3rd most powerful man in North Korean. A political manipulation genius, a man always one step ahead of the others. He got his son and 5 people in and out of South Korea. You best believe he can make it happen. He’s not going to sit back and leave his only son living without his only dream. Plus RJH was never a flag waving patriotic North Korean anyway. He already expressed that he wanted to stay with SeRi in South Korea, have a child that looks just like her. It’s kdrama script writing 101 to not have your lead character mention a deep desire such as this one unless its foreshadowing or serves a larger purpose. And Park Ji Eun is no noob writer. 

Let’s look at the way the show itself references fate and destiny. Regardless of how impossible it may seem, these two always managed to find each other again. Fate is pushing them together and is on their side. I don’t think fate wants them to meet 2 weeks a year. Fate didn’t make them meet in Switzerland, in North Korea, in South Korea, and in Switzerland again for 2 weeks a year for the rest of their lives. I can’t entertain that.  A lot of people think that the epilogue on the hill and when she meets him for the first time again in Switzerland with the parachute are the same time frame. I don’t think so. I really do think the piano concert is the ending and the picnic is the epilogue. It’s years from then, when everything has been sorted about how to be together permanently and it’s a window in to happy every after. Just look at their body language and expressions in the last scene, they are totally at peace and seem to have gotten everything they wanted. Even the music radiates peace. Listen to the lyrics of Sigriswil that play as the camera pans out “wandering this strange night, won’t you be here by me? now I hold your hands, with you I’ll be alright...how does it feel, my friend? It’s been a long day and night” THEY ARE NO LONGER WANDERING ALONE THAT IS THE POINT. period. It was a “long day and night, but now I hold your hand” ... how does it finally feel to have your happy ever after....my friend. IT REEKS OF OPTIMISM and closure. In film making the atmosphere says everything about what is unsaid in the script. 

You best believe he won’t leave a stone unturned to be with her, see her grow old and live in the house of dreams with their twins. Just the fact that he vocalized this thought in the show leads me to believe that it did indeed happen. 

Believe in what the show is telling us to believe. What it’s showing us, not telling us even. That love will always find a way. 

Cloy’s ending also reminds me of  very heavily of (spoiler) that of “my love from the stars”. It was written by Park Ji-eun, the same writer as CLOY. So yes they are forced to be apart in that show too, but he finds his way back and each time they meet its for longer and longer and its implied that one day it will be forever. If an alien could find a wormhole to make it back to his love interest, north korea isn’t looking too bad. Same thing with her other star crossed lovers show “legend of the blue sea”. The mermaid finds him again against all odds and they live happily ever (plus a baby). Hey I’m just saying that the precedent has been set on how this seperation works through our writers own works. Having seen all of Park Ji Eun I know exactly how she structures her endings. It’s almost always the same. The mermaid made it back, the alien made it back...north korea is where we draw the line? They’re only apart for awhile till they figure it out, and they work hard to do so.

Whatever this image is from TVN left it unaired. They shot something they had to pull back. My crack theory brain says she looks a bit pregnant. Actually, that ain’t even a crack theory, I stand behind it. Son yejin is so slim, and judging by the material of the dress it just wouldn’t fall like that unless they were trying to make her look pregnant. Like LISTEN, just LISTEN to me. They put in the effort to get the actors in these outfits we have never seen before, they even gave seri flowers...whY?? There are no other purely promo shots that didn’t have footage attached. The only ones I can think of are the ones they took in front of a greenscreen for the photoframes inside their house. THIS WAS A REAL SCENE THAT WAS DELETED.  South Korean dramas pre-film certain scenes (like the swiss ones) and live film the others to make slight changes to the storyline based on audience reaction. During airing there was quite a lot of political backlash a la north korea. 

There are some stills TVN released that weren’t screencaps. But ALL of them were in outfits relating to scenes we have seen, such as this one.  It just would make no sense for them to go out of there way to get this image on the jam packed expensive swiss schedule and not just do greenscreen in korea like they did for all the other promo material UNLESS it was a real scene. 

So you want more evidence for plot points that indicated the original, unaired, together forever in Switzerland ending?

Let’s look at some details, at one point in Episode 14 when Jeong Hyeok's father is meeting with the bad guy Senior Colonel who tries to use photos of Jeong Hyeok in Korea as a bargaining chip, he says "You should retire quietly. Using your health as an excuse won't raise any suspicions." now whilst this may be a casual reference to him being old and that health issues are plausible, it's also possible Jeong Hyeok's father has had some long term illness they've not mentioned which would add to why it wouldn't raise suspicions.

The main reason I thought of this is it would sort of line up with some other details, in the finale when they're deciding whether to send them back or not, at the NIS briefing they mention how the North has requested keeping it quiet and confidential, they mention "They want the confidentiality term to be five years. They're being sensitive about it because one of them is a high-ranking officers son". Then if we fast forward toward the end when Se-ri is receiving the timed messages, a year passes after her birthday message from Jeong Hyeok, after that scene we see Jeong Hyeok having his farewell meal with the townspeople and preparing to leave after being accepted as a pianist for the National Symphony Orchestra, presumably around the same time as Se-ris birthday given that scene was right before. Se-ri then comes up with her Switzerland Music academy idea probably a few weeks or month or so after she read RJH's text about meeting and then it tells as it's one year later, Se-ri waits but doesn't meet him and returns home, her mum says "It breaks my heart to see you return in disappointment every time" which if that's a correct translation it means it's been more than once by this point. Add up this entire timeline....guess what it comes out to. FIVE YEARS. That’s how long it takes them to sort out a permanent solution for their problem.

When he chooses to defect it will be much easier for him considering he’s making trips to Switzerland already. All he would have to do is walk into a South Korean embassy in Zurich. They have an open door policy for North Koreans, he doesn’t even need to cross the DMZ again. 

You want even MORE proof? Okay my friend, I’ll bite. Why are there photos of a couple with children?? Honestly come on I really don’t have to say more.

They had to leave the ending open. Due to the political situation, they couldn’t exactly show RJH, a North Korean, defecting. Pretty sure our buddy Kim Jong-un would not be chill with that.  However ridiculous it is, the show had multiple attacks on it while it was running by political parties saying it violated the “national security act”.

The ending was clearly cleverly re-edited to be less explicit so the viewer can read between the lines but the show-runners can protect themselves from lawsuits and public sentiment regarding a sort of maybe illegal situation. If you believe they met for two weeks a year for the rest of their lives, you don’t know RiRi Ri-eally well ;) 

[thanks-captain-obvious]

So here is the continuation of my Daminette hc since it seems that no one really like to stop me.

No. The Batfam did not abandon Marinette suddenly because of seemingly questionable reaction to fear toxin. But more on that later.

So as I was saying, Robin is acting really weird during patrol and the Batfam couldn't help but notice.

But who could blame him when it really bothers him? Marinette seems so always cool and collected. Always moving with grace and with purpose.

But that Marinette that he saw? The Marinette who cries in her sleep. That is not the Marinette he knew. And it bothers him.

He chalked it up to a reluctant sibling feeling on his side and dare he say it, he's already warming up to Marinette.

Marinette just seems—invicible. Just like his mother.

Cool. Calm. Collected.

How wrong he was

Why would she cry?

Anyway, Batfam decided its Dicky bird that will talk to Damian by the end of patrol because nothing has bothered their youngest this much since Talia.

But Robin easily evaded Dick's concern by saying he's tired.

So now, the Batfam has two dillemas. Namely— Damian and Marinette.

Anyway, Damian decided to watch Marinette closely the next day.

Marinette is her usual, sunny self. Smiling kindly at everyone, bonding with Alfred in the kitchen, playing UMS with Tim or just watching Jason lift weights in the gym.

It may seem like a dickish move but Damian deliberately spilled coffee on Marinette's sketches just to rile up Marinette.

Jason is so ready to shoot him right then and there. After all, it was only recently that Marinette started designing clothes again.

And it may be worth it after all. Because Damian saw it.

For a split second, Marinette's eyes had misted over it like she is about to cry. In fact, if Damian isn't watching really, really close, he would miss it.

It quickly change over into something unreadable before her eyes settles into those calm sapphires once again.

And so for the next few days, Damian will try to provoke Marinette over and over again.

To no avail.

Meanwhile, Dick tried to talk him again. Of course, he dismissed the concern easily by saying he got it handled.

Anyway, Bruce will finally had enough of Damian's obvious attempts at provoking Marinette so he will talk to his son about it.

But before he could let a word out, Tim will rush into the study and blurt out two words that will instantly make both of them pale.

She knows

During dinner with Cass and Steph in the Manor(they wanted to meet their new sister), the Bats will address the elephant in the room.

Marinette will then explain how she find it odd that Bruce offered to adopt her just after she mentioned to Batman that she is an orphan.

She then will tell them all about herself (minus being Ladybug) and say that she will kept all their secrets and there is no need to worry.

Marinette will also explain how she deleted her data on the internet and steal all her school records in Paris before burning them off.

She explained when she went to Gotham, she wanted to start over.

Tim is impressed with all that of course. But one question remains, how are you immune to fear toxin?

Which Marinette answered happily and she narrated all about Hawkmoth and his reign. Living under Hawkmoth had enabled her to control her emotions not just on surface level.

Bruce expressed his concerns if she had been akumatized.

Marinette smiled graciously and said no and kept it at that.

Batfam is appaled to learn that something of this magnitude happened to Paris under their noses without anyone noticing.

Alfeed then stepped in and expressed that Marinette needs her rest now.

But in the midst of all that, something still nags at Damian.

Why come to Gotham? Another city full of terror.

The answer came to him when Damian got hostaged by the Joker.

She is Ladybug, the hero that once protected Paris.

He realized this when Marinette easily managed to save him single-handedly through some convoluted plan.

Ladybug's trademark and way of defeating akuma, if what Tim had managed to unearth about Ladybug is true.

And while he may not have Tim's genius mind, Damian is not the son of the greatest detective for nothing.

Of course he managed to put two and two together.

So Damian confronted Marinette about it much later.

It was then that Marinette completely opened herself up.

And to him nonetheless!

Marinette told him how she got her Miraculous— the thing that gives her powers, about her partner, about Hawkmoth, about everything that lead up to the confrontation against Hawkmoth and how she is too late to save her parents.

And how, every single day, she tortures herself of what could have been.

And so she explained that the fear toxin did not much do anything to her because she is, in fact, already living in her nightmare every single day— her parents dying because she had been too careless.

No matter how much Damian tried to tell her its not her fault, to Marinette, everything had been her fault.

After that conversation, Damian and Marinette had been closer.

Everybody in the Manor noticed of course. Damian and Marinette would spend hours alone sketching and walking around Gotham. Or just plain talking.

Damian would also sometimes spar with Marinette to train her knowing that she defeated a supervillain before without any semblance of training, what more if she had mentor who actually teach her how to fight?

Dick, as usual, had been the first one to confront Damian about the pair's newfound closeness. But Damian just rolled his eyes and say that he realized that she is more tolerable than any of you combined.

Then, Bruce, Tim, Jason, Steph.

It was only Cass that actually managed to get something out of Damian.

"She is so much more than meets the eye." He said.

After that, the Batfam contentedly accept the situation, even if the obvious inside jokes are a bit unnerving, to say the least.

I mean, Damian is smiling and joking around with her.

And where even the nickname "Little Lady" had come from?

Everything is sunshine and rainbows until Marinette received a call one day. A call from one Adrien Agreste.

Damian recognized the name and immediately rushed out to defend Marinette. Adrien Agreste, Gabriel Agreste's son.

He is so sure that Adrien is here to take revenge on Marinette for his father.

Only to be surprised by Marinette's squeal of excitement upon seeing the blonde.

Marinette rushed out to the bottom of the stairs and into Adrien Agreste's arms.

For some reason, seeing Marinette hugging Adrien tightly made him want to kill the bastard more.

Cass saw Damian's reaction and squinted her eyes at his brother.

Anyway, their hug is interrupted by Damian clearing his throat.

When Marinette looked at him, she gave him a sheepish smile and a look that says "Later"

Everyone welcomed Adrien and offered to have him stay for a week after Marinette said that he is a dear friend from Paris. Adrien easily agreed and the two went off with Alfred to sort out the room Adrien will stay in.

Meanwhile, Tim saw Damian's dirty look at the blonde and his tight grip at his cutlery. Cass caught his eyes and mentally confirmed what he just saw.

Cass gave a subtle nod at that.

Smirking, Tim took a gulp from his coffee.

For a few days, Marinette will tour Adrien around the City while Damian will sulk at his room. Whenever Marinette and Adrien is around, Damian will always snap irritably at the two of them. This will result at Bruce scolding Damian.

Damian, being the brat that he is, will leave the table.

Marinette will confront Damian one night and explained that Adrien is Chat Noir and a dear friend of her and for Damian to act nice around him.

Damian will say he already knows by seeing how the blonde is being as bratty as his superhero namesake.

Marinette slapped him before promptly leaving the room.

On the other hand, Marinette and Adrien will finally have the Talk.

Adrien will reveal that he is in the process of being adopted by Amelia and Marinette will likewise admit that Bruce is in the process of adopting her.

Adrien will then give her a chuckle and say: I don't know about that, Bugaboo. One of your "brothers" seems like he will be against the idea.

When Marinette demanded what he meant, he simply gave her a wide chesire grin.

And there it is! Another one of my cringe-worthy Daminette hc. Let me know if you want me to stop or you are so bored you have nothing to read anymore aside my cringy Daminette ideas.

Part 1 • Here • Part 3

Taglist:

@loysydark @eliza-bich @ilovefluffbutsmutisalsogreat @iwritelikeimrunningoutoftime @goblinwhoships @amayakans

@pawsitivelymiraculous @i-am-ironic @emilytopaz

Edit: added the links.