#feel like this was incredibly underwhelming for how late my response is but! as i said my favs can all be found in my bookmarks :-) i’ll

[loverscrossmp3]

hiii have u got any good jily fic recommendations?

anon you must hate me and would be right to do so for how late i am to replying to this! i’m so sorry!!

i’ll admit it’s been a second since i’ve read fic BUT all my absolute favs (jily or otherwise) can be found here in my ao3 bookmarks! :-) on top of that, as always, anything by flagpoles who’s james and lily are everything i strive for mine to be. i will also always shout the praise of @clare-with-no-i and @thequibblah ‘s brilliancy.

if anyone else has any jily recs please feel free to add!!

[solipsismbyproxy]

Ranking persona 5 royal confidants - II: Priestess

Part of my ongoing project to rank the Persona 5 confidants. To quickly recap, the three things I think are most important in a good confidant are a solid overarching story, a deeper exploration of the confidant's motives and personality traits, and a meaningful role for the protagonist to play and help change the confidant.

(As a quick note I'm skipping 0 and 1 (Igor and Morgana) since they're essentially just story checks and don't really fit into the social link structure in a normal sense.)

So, let's get into the Confidant for the Priestess Arcana, Makoto!

As a recap, Makoto's confidant revolves around a couple themes: links 1-2 are about her desire to learn more about normal activities to feel closer to other students her age - she invites you out to help teach her about new places so she doesn't feel awkward visiting them alone. 3-5 revolve around her talking to and eventually making a new friend, Eiko. Initially, you help her grill Eiko on why she is working at a shady cafe, then later, you talk with Makoto about her new friend and how their conflicting personalities change Makoto's goals (she becomes less sure that the standard honor-studenty path is right for her.) 6-10 are about her helping Eiko get away from a creep named Tsukasa. You are initially her double date to get a chance to meet him - in later links, you give advice on how to handle him and help Makoto confront him. The link begins and ends with conversations about Makoto's late father, who was a police chief investigating seedy gangs in Shinjuku. It's pretty heavily implied he was killed in a gang assassination by one of his targets, maybe even whatever group Tsukasa belongs to (his MO of luring in girls and pushing them to do sex work to pay off a fake debt is the same as the one Makoto's dad investigated, and this parallel is brought up by Makoto herself multiple times.) Makoto uses this incident to firm her belief that she wants to be a police chief in the footsteps of her father.

I love Makoto as a character, which is why it pains me to say I thought this confidant sucked. Maybe the most glaring reason why is that this is barely a story about Makoto herself. Throughout the story, we're told that it is pretty routine for Makoto to constantly check up on the students and making sure their actions are aboveboard. It feels like the main outcome of the social link is that you're saving Eiko from her life being ruined, not doing anything for Makoto. Maybe the main counterexample is her decision in rank 10 to become a police chief, but it's questionable that these events would have any major impact on that decision either way. It's basically already the path she is on given her honor student trajectory and her admiration for her dad from the start. To me, it just doesn't feel believable that she could take any other path even if the events with Eiko didn't happen. Further, the ending is incredibly anti-climactic. You essentially call it a day at running Tsukasa off from Eiko and getting her to commit to her studies. When the buildup of the confidant suggests that Tsukasa was, at least symbolically, the type of criminal responsible for her father's death, Makoto letting him off with a slap and a warning to stay away from one (1) of his victims is just...underwhelming? No change of hearts, no escalation, just a "stay away from Eiko!!" This feels like a complete letdown of any real tension - sure, you achieve a minor victory and saving your classmate/friends life from ruin is good, don't get me wrong, but letting Tsukasa get away and repeat his scam just does not give a sense of closure (and its basically all but confirmed he's grooming other victims simultaneously with Eiko!) This feels like a major loose end and one that directly contrasts with Makoto's desire to get justice.

Largely because the focus is shifted so far away from Makoto, we also really don't get to see any new aspects of her character in this confidant. The main things that are conveyed about her by this link are, IMO,

Makoto is sheltered and not very in touch with her peers

Makoto has a strong sense of justice and wants to protect her classmates at Shujin as part of her role as SC president

Makoto looks up to her father a lot

Makoto is hot tempered and quick to act when she sees injustice, even at risk to her own life

You know where we saw all these traits before? The entire Kanoshiro arc! That arc was set in motion by her feeling like a burden after her father died, feeling the need to do something about Shujin students getting scammed, and doing something rash that put her personally in a lot of danger. This arc basically feels like a diet version of that where, instead of neutralizing the threat and/or changing their heart, Makoto claims the smallest victory as enough and gives up. And since it functions as a diet version of that arc, at best this link feels like Makoto is wading completely in place from start to finish besides making a new friend. Her exposure to her peers' culture basically tops out at playing one (1) video game at an arcade, she gains the resolve to take...the most natural path forward for her anyways as an honor student in a family of cops, and she doesn't even make any significant progress towards neutering the gangs who very likely killed her father. It feels essentially like there's no character development at all.

On to the final piece of the puzzle - protagonist involvement. Unfortunately, the social link fails here too. At basically every turn, Joker is just an extra body there because Makoto doesn't want to balone. Half of the social link setups are: 1&2-I want someone to go with me to new places (excusable, I suppose) 3-I need you to help me grill this girl and act as a witness 6-I need you to act as my double date so I can meet Tsukasa 9-I need you to get evidence and help me confront Tsukasa. Does it matter who you are besides a second body? A little, obviously you do have some input and you help her pick the right path forward with Eiko. But overall, it really feels like your involvement is justified as a helper filling in so it isn't just Makoto. This confidant is maybe the one that most makes you feel like a spectator to the events, and it really diminishes the link to me. Here's an (admittedly silly) test of protagonist involvement - could Ryuji have filled in for Joker in this link? I think for basically every rank, the answer is an easy yes.

Overall, I was really disappointed with Makoto's Confidant. It trapped the player as a pure spectator in Makoto solving someone else's problem, in the same way we already saw her doing so in the main character. I learned nothing about Makoto, felt no bond to her, and didn't feel like my progressing the social link changed anything in any way. I would rate this confidant overall as a 2/10, with its only redeeming quality being that it is cute to see Makoto try out the arcade and make a new friend. This is easily a bottom 5 confidant for me, and possibly even a bottom 2, and it depresses me because I like Makoto as a character way more than any of the other confidants she's competing with on that list.

Here are two scattered ideas on ways to improve Makoto's social link:

Make the endgoal of the link the investigation/shutting down of the gang that employs Tsukasa. You can easily condense some of the earlier links to squish the current rank 9 to rank 8, and make a rank 9 that does this - either gated behind Mementos or through real world police work. This gives proper closure to the Tsukasa stuff, gives a more compelling arc for Makoto (she appreciates both the difficulty and the rewards of investigating criminals) and can even tie into some sense of avenging her father by taking down one of the gangs he was after. By shifting stuff around, you can give Joker a larger role by having him advise Makoto on how to handle the situation, and by participating in the Mementos quest or the actual investigation work. Queen gets a chance to show off her tactical brilliance and maybe her decisiveness can even pay off here instead of working against her all the time (imagine how cool it'd be if she caught the gang leader fleeing through a motorcycle pursuit!!)

Refocus the social link on working through and assuaging Makoto's guilt about Kamoshida. This is obviously a big plot point for her character in the main game that I feel isn't addressed particularly well in either the social link or the game, and it is something that upsets her. Working through this with her and helping her both change the system and deal with her own guilt would be a good way for Joker to make a serious, thoughtful, emotional impact. We also get to explore a pretty big part of Makoto's character, and get a sense of progress for her. One big downside to this idea is that this is complicated by the principal's death, and it feels really bad to have a main cast member's link be gated behind a date to complete or to have this sort of plot be completely independent of the principal (maybe it would only be unlocked after the principal dies? Could help) Either way, that's getting too much into the weeds but I think this is a much more obvious place for Makoto to progress as a character and heal from her past than the current plot.

Let me know if you have thoughts on either of these solutions, or anything I said above! I'll be back soon with a dive into The Empress, which will take a much different tone from this one :)

[codenamesazanka]

Warning: Rant, character bashing, lots of opinions

I'm saying it outright. I hate Deku. He is entirely underwhelming as a character, much less as the main character, the shonen protagonist of the series.

It's a 'different' type of dislike, though. I feel like I could've like his character. There's nothing greatly disagreeable about him, he's as inoffensive as can be, he's an optimistic, considerate, and polite boy, he's as plain as he is said to be, and that's fine.

My issue is that he's not the character he's said to be. I, personally, just don't buy that he "possesses a drive to save others that eclipses all common understanding", or that he's super intelligent with great analytical abilities that he actually applies on the battlefield, or, in general, he's as amazing or heroic or compassionate as he's apparently supposed to be. How can he be inspiring if he barely challenges any aspects of the society he lives in. Deku is a super good example of the terrible use of "Tell, Don't Show". We're told about his amazing traits, but he rarely follows through; when we do see hints of it, it's lauded but frankly I think it's typical behavior and (this though is not quite his fault) written so stiffly and awkwardly I'm not convinced.

(Honestly I might even call him a Canon Mary Sue. He has no interesting or distinguishable flaws, unless having a shit for brains attitude is one but that's not acknowledged by the narrative. Breaking bones is not a personality trait. If he has a Hero Complex, it's not even the interesting ones where he fucks things up even more; or carries crippling guilt about circumstances beyond his control; or focuses completely on saving people to the point of rejecting almost all human connections and keeping deadly secrets - which is All Might's big flaw.) (Well fair, he does this in the most recent chapter but did it need to take 300+ chapters? Plus I sense the way it's framed is that it's the radical, but right course of action.)

Say what you want about Villains and redemption/shouldn't be redeemed/too evil to be saved/justice/etc, but I think this 'Incredible Drive To Save' should've included Villains from the start. Why does Deku want to "Save people with a smile on his face"? Assuming it's empathy, he should have felt some towards everyone he encounters, whether it's sensible or not. "Why are you so angry?", "You shouldn't go about things this way", "What caused them to be like this?", "Why is there evil in the world?" even. I'm still fuming over his Mall Encounter with Shigaraki, where Shigaraki pretty much reveals his damage: "All Might acts like there's no one he can't save"; but ultimately Deku goes "Wow, that sure is an opinion."

What kind of inane response is this??? There's little pushback from the narrative either, so this isn't pointed out as a failing of his (because, again, he has no big flaws). And he's supposed to be smart and caring. Yes, he does ask All Might right after the Mall Encounter, "Was there anyone you can't save?"; but essentially the replies he gets is "Don't worry about it" and Deku immediately largely puts it out of his mind "Oh whew, I was about to do some introspection and reflection". There isn't even the daunting, kinda-existential anxiety that people get when they realize it's impossible to save/help everyone - which is something, like, medical workers have to learn to deal with - that sharp sense of the inevitably of death, of loss, failure, guilt. I'm not asking for him to come to the conclusion that everyone should be saved - he could've decided nah, Shigaraki is too ugly to be saved and I would've been fine with that, it's part of the character role and potential development - just that he should've had a conclusion at all.

There are the latest chapters where Deku decides he wants to try saving Shigaraki first (though killing him is still on the table), true. Him wanting to save Shigaraki after seeing AFO merged with him, after seeing The Crying Child - but see, I don't think it qualifies because I think it's the bare minimum about of consideration, the typical response to seeing the body horror of warped, fused flesh, to seeing a small sad little boy. I think it shouldn't require "You look like you needed saving" for a true Hero to consider saving someone. Not for someone who is supposed to be unique and special in this regard.

*

I've complained about this before, but the trouble with Deku was evident from the very beginning.

Again, Deku wants to save people with a smile on his face, and again, I’m assuming it’s empathy. We're shown this on the very first page, as he attempts to protect a friend(?) from bullies, but imo like it felt groundless because who was the kid he was protecting? We never see him again. Did Deku's standing up to Bakugou work, and the kid was saved? Or did they both got beaten up; but afterwards, being the kind boy Deku is supposed to be, he still gets to his feet to help the boy, to apologize for failing.

But more significantly, this theme of saving was overshadowed immediately by his focus on superpowers - that he was quirkless. Next page, his focus was on ‘Woah, giant villain and superpowers!’ Instead of like. Helping people. (Though I chalk this up to early installment weirdness)

What should’ve happened if the theme was ‘SAVE PEOPLE’ Is something like: The opening sentence being “People are not born equal. This is the harsh truth I learned when I was four. I knew that... but despite my powerless, I still wanted to help. That was my first and last setback.” And the panels/images themselves (of little Katsuki and his friends) implies that people on the world thinks you need power to help people.

When he saw the villain attack on way to school, Deku can be wow’ed by the spectacle! But then he notices a kid crying and offers to help find his mom. He can be interrupted by a Hero saying he (the hero) will take over, he can find the mom and realize he’s late for school (and so that shows he’s willing to sacrifice something of his to help others! Because of his altruistic nature!). A scene like that, of him helping the lost kid, we would know that he wants to help *anyone*. At school, though, he still gets bullied for not having powers. So he’s mulling over that when he meets All Might, and asks the question.

It proceeds as usual for the next few events: When the sludge monster attacks Katsuki, he can still go gawk at the scene. He can still hesitate. In canon, it's only when he realized the victim was his friend that he jumps into action, which I thinks undermines the theme of 'wanting to save indiscriminately'. IMO, it would've been better that Deku sees it’s his friend, but he still hesitates. “There’s nothing I can do right? All Might himself said so...” But when he sees Katsuki’s *face* of fear, he runs to help. Instead of seeming like he helps only because he realizes it’s his friend, he helps because he feels too deeply about trying to save Katsuki.

Admittedly these are minor, personal critiques; but all in all, the first chapter fails to establish Deku is the willpowered, champion of wanting to save people he's supposed to be.

--Which is fine, if it's acknowledged in the story later, that maybe he wasn't the True Blue Hero he's supposed to be at first, but he can change and still become one. But it's not - Deku is apparently special, without anything special to show for it.

*

I read the one-shot "My Hero" - the prototype for this series - that Horikoshi published years ago, before My Hero Academia was created. I also found it underwhelming, but that was due to personal tastes (I wanted more explosions and dumb violence); as a story on it's own merit, the logic and progression was solid.

The Villains Heroes fought were 'Aberrations' - true inhuman monsters that showed no sentience that would eat people - so the focus could be solely on saving humans. The main character - Jack Midoriya - his original goal was less 'save people' and more 'become a cool hero', before learning that saving people is what true heroism is about, hero license unneeded. (Moreover, he really did 'save' someone without being a hero - by working hard, he was preventing the company from becoming ruined completely, which the CEO had confessed and thanked him for. )

This version of Midoriya didn't exactly needed deep empathy or compassion for that, just a strong willpower, which he effectively demonstrated by chasing after a childhood dream even as an adult salaryman in a tanking company, even though he had anemia and no training and no license. He insisted on this, to the point of getting hurt by being dumb, of being petty over someone dissing the Hero who inspired him in the first place, of skipping out of work and going vigilante. Not the most upstanding guy, but he came through in the relevant themes of the story, in being the character the story needed him to be.

Jack Midoriya was an unimpressive, weird-looking, weak, pitiful, somewhat selfish, awkward salaryman with no great aspects that 'eclipses all common understanding'. But he was a far stronger character than his incarnation Izuku Midoriya could ever be (so far).

[shintorikhazumi]

I Have Two Sisters?! (4): Three Sisters, One School, and A Trio of Brunettes

A/N: No long explanation note. Just an apology. Sorry it got delayed. Was burnt out, am burnt out lately. I could not think of anything for this. Emotionally just... not good, I suppose. School is kinda hectic too. Sadly. But here you go. Chap 4! I hope the length is worth the wait?

Ended up yeeting out this incredible sloppy mess of a chapter. :’> sorry. I can’t think no more, Ma.

Thank you to the MAGENTA GAZE squad. Y’all know who you are.

Also, a big, warm THANK YOU to all those reading and supporting this story :>.Means a lot to me :’)) Without further ado,

Enjoy?

~Shintori Khazumi

I Have Two Sisters?! Chapter 4: Three Sisters, One School, and A Trio of Brunettes

Four days. That was all it took to get the necessary documents for Diana’s clutch enrollment over. Weiss was ever pleased with herself for this achievement, and Claudine could only look on dumbfounded as parcel after parcel was dropped off in their mailbox or at their doorstep, all on the same day.

“You are a scary woman, did you know that?”

“Why, thank you~. You’re quite terrifying yourself.”

Claudine only managed a gruff little huff, carrying a suspiciously large box into the house with a bit of effort, Weiss discovering very soon just how strangely strong Claudine could be, and thus labeled the youngest as the “brawn” of the house. Weiss made great use of this fact.

Claudine frowned at the memory of being made to carry the things they bought when they went furniture shopping the other day. Weiss was some sadistic task master.

“Wh-what the heck is in this thing?” Claudine managed to ask without biting her tongue after tripping over one of the house’s thresholds. “Are these also a part of Diana’s documents?”

Weiss threw a glance over her shoulder, walking in front of Claudine, leading her to the living room where even more packages lay, Diana cluelessly sorting parcels, boxes, and covered folders into separate piles to be opened.

“Ah, well… yes, but…”

“Weiss?” Claudine called after her, voice holding a warning.

“They’re for Diana, yes. Documents... no. But I thought it would be fun to have some of this stuff delivered for the sake of… stuff.”

“Stuff.” Claudine echoed. “Right. What stuff.” She sighed, finally placing the last box- she was praying with all her might that it was- on their carpeted floor.

“Yes, stuff.”

“I’m asking, what kind of stuff?” Claudine crossed her arms over her chest, rolling her eyes as Weiss did a zipper motion over her mouth.

“That’s something you and Diana are about to find out.” She made her merry way over to Diana, standing next to the girl seated on the floor, a box cutter in one hand, looking anxiously from one sealed delivery to the other. “Come on, Diana. Open up the presents!”

“Santa roleplay?” Claudine teased. Weiss pointedly ignored her.

“W-where do I even start?” The eldest eyed the packages, trying to figure out which one she should open first.

She was taking quite long, and Claudine and Weiss were beginning to worry that they’d overwhelmed her.

“Weeell...” Deciding to help Diana out, Weiss looked over the array displayed in front of them, eyes narrowed until they landed on one particular medium-sized box, reaching out for it with a twinkle in her eyes. “How about this one?”

Diana nodded, a little curious about the younger girl’s reaction. Taking the box from Weiss, she smiled in thanks. Weiss returned the gesture, stepping back to watch as Diana cut through the tape and opened the folded flaps to reveal bubble wrap, some papers for additional cushion and protection, a black bag and-

“...A Nikon D850…”

Diana didn’t know why Claudine looked a little bitter, and possibly more shocked than her, but she couldn’t really pay mind to that as she awed at the expensive equipment. Sure, her family had always been loaded and the cost of this was merely pocket change to them; but Diana hadn’t really explored all that privilege the same way they did, anyway.

To get such a nice present from Weiss...

“Th-thank... thank you?”

Weiss pouted a bit at the reaction. She had done her best to get the perfect gift to welcome Diana into college and her new course, but Diana’s response was honestly underwhelming. “Don’t like it?”

Blue eyes widened, afraid they had insulted the kind Weiss. “N-No! No! Not at all! I mean, no I don’t like- no I mean I like it, I just, no to I don’t like it. I like it! I love it! It’s amazing! And... wow. I... I just... I don’t know if I can accept this...” Diana carefully placed the opened package on their coffee table, staring at that sleek black, those marvelous lens on that box-ish frame the... wow.

“Psh, sure you can.” Weiss waved off.

“Can I really...” Diana scratched her cheek lightly, a tiny blush coming on as she felt her next words were a little shameless. “I admit that I would like to keep it...”

“It’s yours to keep.” Weiss reassured, gentle and smiling. “Okay?”

Diana looked up to meet her eyes, somehow still unsure, but Weiss coming in to sit next to her, one hand patting her shoulder and the other placing the camera back in Diana’s was the last push of encouragement she needed to accept it.

“Thank you, Weiss. Really. Thank you.” Diana embraced the gift carefully close to her, smile soft and teary. “It means a lot to me.”

Diana pocketed this tender moment in her heart, saving it like all the other good memories she’d made with her sisters thus far. And they were numerous, quite abundant considering how long they’d known each other. But maybe that no longer mattered, how long they had been together. Diana should just focus on all the time they have coming.

A cough from Weiss brought her back to the reality that there were still more packages to be opened, and she sighed internally. She was about to mention something to her sister, but then she caught Weiss staring at Claudine expectantly, as if saying it was the youngest’s turn for... something.

“Claudine, out with it.”

‘Hmm?’ Diana directed her gaze to Claudine, noticing that the action made the latter flinch, hands deep in her pockets, visibly shuffling underneath the cloth.

“I’m... I’m just kind of... shy now after seeing that...” She muttered with closed teeth. “You had me carry all these things, and I didn’t know it was part of our plan. Now I don’t really wanna... compete with that...”

“Compete?” Weiss chuckled. “This is not a competition. Come on, Claud. We agreed to both get her something.” She revealed their said plan to Diana who had been out of the loop on this.

“Well, yes, but I didn’t think you’d just… get her a bunch of high-end camera gear!” Claudine commented, bewildered. “I literally got her a keychain! I can’t just give Diana a keychain!” She exasperatedly announced. “Not after all that!” She sighed, toes curling and wiggling in some form of discomfort.

“And Why not?” “Why not?” Two voices sounded simultaneously, heads tilted to the side in confusion.

‘Gosh, these heiresses.’

“I like keychains.” Diana so helpfully informed.

“Of course you do.” Claudine deadpanned, gripping the small item in her pocket. “Just…” She sighed once more, finger wearing the ring-like bit of the item. “I just- I feel... embarrassed... and stuff.” She blushed, looking away from the pair on the floor.

“Why?”

‘Why?’ Claudine looked at them incredulously. Obviously because- because... to people like them, used to extravagance and all the fanciest jewelry and wear, something like this trinket was just-

“Because it feels so small in comparison to the camera... and insignificant.” Claudine confessed. “I-I mean, not that my thoughts behind it were insignificant, not at all, I just thought I could give you something better. Not that I thought this was no good, I mean. At the time I bought it, but now that I see all this-”

“You’re right.”

“Huh?” Claudine blinked, facing a serious-looking Diana, rising to her feet and walking over to her.

“It isn’t insignificant. Nothing you’ve given me is.” Diana’s expression melted into a gentle smiled. “From your kindness, to the gentleness of each action toward me, to your consideration... to these slippers on my feet,” She flapped them for emphasis. “to the mug I drink from daily, and my toothbrush on the bathroom counter. All those, and the warmth behind them pile up in my heart, making it overflow with gratitude. Really, Claudine. The greatest thing you’ve gifted to me is your genuine care for me and my feelings.”

“Diana...”

Her words, it moved Claudine’s heart. She never thought it meant that much to the older girl. She had gotten all those things for Diana, did all those things for her, simply because... she could. And she wanted Diana to experience better things than all the pain she’d been through.

“Thank you, Claudine.” Diana said, coming to a stop in front of the younger girl. Her arms raised and opened up, Claudine before pausing awkwardly in the air, her whole frame freezing. “U-um...”

With a raised brow indicating her confusion, Claudine waited, posture uncomfortably straight

“Just hug and get it over with.” Their one-woman audience complained, getting impatient. “And just give her the damn gift, Claud!”

“Hrrngh- okay, okay! I get it! I got it!” Claudine grumbled, fishing through her pocket and pulling out a silver keychain, a small unicorn figure attached with a tiny bead next to it, and a letter D that looked like a waxed seal. “I- This is obviously not the o-only thing I got you.” Claudine tried to say, thinking of what else she could get to supplement this huge failure.

But it may have not been needed.

Diana engulfed her in a huge hug, sobbing lightly into her neck, thanking her over and over.

Claudine felt those warm tears wash over her skin. Her heart ached, her eyes stung. But she could hold it in, she could. She was a big, strong girl-

“Thank you, Claudine. Thank you. Thank you so much. For always thinking of me. For getting me something I can truly call mine.”

And Claudine broke, arms squeezing tight around Diana’s waist, silently crying into her shoulder. “Dummy. Everything you have right now is truly yours. And we are truly your sisters.”

---

Weiss looked away, if only to hide the tears that had also formed at the corners of her eyes. “Hey! That camera is solely yours as well!” She inserted, jokingly sounding annoyed, before shaking it off when Diana gave her an apologetic look. She smiled,  watching her sisters continue to hug.

It didn’t look like they were going to part soon, huh. Maybe in a bit. They’d separate. In 1... 2... 3...

Nope.

Okay, Weiss was beginning to feel a little left out. Maybe she wanted to be in the hug too. Not that she’d admit to that.

Buuutt, she could just... hint at it. Or something. Casually, so they wouldn’t know. Claudine would tease her for days if she found out Weiss had felt a little lonely.

“You made such a big deal out of it, only to become so soft.” Weiss laughed, walking over to her sisters and flicking Claudine on the forehead, earning her an adorable yelp, and not-as-adorable glare. “Guess you being the youngest makes perfect sense now.”

“Wha-Hey! I’ll have you know-” Claudine broke away from Diana, proceeding to bicker with Weiss who simply laughed at Claudine’s empty bites.

---

Diana admired the scene in front of her, smiling warmly at her two sisters. They had transitioned from intense verbal exchange to teasing words and playful wrestling, and Diana could not help but smile along as Claudine and Weiss filled the living room with their laughter.

Warm.

It felt so warm.

Subconsciously, Diana had grabbed her new camera, lifting it up and snapping a photo of two beautiful hearts who had become her new world.

Like this photo, she would cherish them forever.

//-//-//-//-//

After their little gift-giving spree, they decided it was time to get a move on with their actual business. They had succeeded in getting the recommendations Diana needed, and simply needed to file them and prepare them with the rest of Diana’s enrollment documents.

As Diana sorted through the papers, reading the contents of each to check over important information, she found that there were some personal letters accompanying them as well. At first, they seemed to be greetings, checking in on Diana. She was almost happy, before she felt twinges in her heart, soon figuring what they were actually about. Just more people sucking up to her to get to her family.

Well. They were barking up the wrong tree. Diana was no longer of any value to the Cavendishes. Even if she was stuck bearing their name. It was practically just an unwanted decoration to her image; an image she desperately wanted to break free from.

Alongside those empty salutations were the sugar-coated bitterness from comments from Diana’s old teachers. They were almost all the same, with some saying it was a shame that she wouldn’t be continuing on as a doctor. Most were surprised to hear she was taking arts for college as not everyone knew of Diana’s family situation, and maybe they hadn’t even cared enough to know about Diana until this point.

Diana would have liked to believe that, surely, they would have seen the scandal on the news of the Cavendish’s case of abuse- but then Diana remembered that her family was powerful enough to possibly cover it all up, only enduring a few scrapes to their name. She supposed she shouldn’t be surprised then if they still thought she’d go medical.

Of course. They didn’t know. They didn’t want to anyway. They probably assumed Diana was just dropping out, not strong enough to ensure the pressures that came with being someone of her previous status. How would they see her? Did they think of her as pathetic? Maybe. Maybe.

And now, Diana was left with feelings of shame.

Before she could wallow in more of her brought-back sorrows, hands were quick to move around her, Diana realizing that Claudine had taken her laptop away from her, closing the messages and shutting the device down, while Weiss took away the letters. She was glaring at them so hard, Diana hoped she wouldn’t crumple or tear them. They still needed those.

“Don’t read those any longer than you should. And don’t listen to any of those comments. You have nothing to be ashamed of.”

“Weiss is right. You are amazing.”

“No sister of mine is going to get shamed because of her undeniable talent and wit.” Weiss huffed, breathing out her feelings of irritation.

Diana felt her eyes water as she felt their unconditional support for her. Something she’d never had before.

Whatever deity had blessed her all at once with the best gifts in existence- her two sisters- deserved all the praise Diana had to give.

Weiss and Claudine shared a look as Diana wiped away the few tears that had slipped by. They sighed before grinning, pulling Diana into a group hug.

Really, Diana felt silly for worrying about all those things now. All those people she shouldn’t- couldn’t care less about.

With a laugh, she could only join her sisters as they faced everyone else in the world. Everyone who had used them, hurt them. To that, they’d scream,

“”Screw them!””

//-//-//-//-//

“I- I apologize... could you perhaps... run me through the steps one more time? Just one more time.” Diana pleaded, face contorted in frustration.

Weiss and Claudine found it absolutely adorable.

Who knew Diana was so bad with phones! They were only exchanging numbers, for crying out loud!

This was truly a mystery that confounded them as Claudine and Weiss had watched Diana efficiently navigate her way around her laptop and camera gear. She was excellent in getting all the school application documents ready, and the pair had watched her fixing the practice photos she’d taken earlier, afterwards.

So what was so hard about tapping a few icons on her phone compared to that?!

“I-... i-it’s because i practiced using those! It took me quite a while, but I’m proud to say I’m able to use them well now!”

“Practice...” Weiss parroted, dumbfounded at the revelation. She blinked. Turned to Claudine. “Practice... she says... using a laptop...-”

And exploded.

“HAHAHAHA, practicing?! Practicing using a phone?? Diana, you are adorable!”

Diana clearly didn’t appreciate this, not because she felt insulted by Weiss’ actions, but because she couldn’t comprehend just what was so wrong about daily practicing your typing skills to get sharper.

----

Claudine chopped Weiss lightly on the head, sighing to keep herself from giggling as well. “Don’t worry about it, Diana. We’re just surprised.”

“I still fail to understand why.” Diana frowned, and Claudine poked at the spot between her eyes, now laughing.

“Stop that, you’ll get wrinkles.”

Diana blushed.

“Let’s forget about this for a second, and actually help Diana out, Weiss.” Claudine warned, and that effectively got Weiss to stop, as her laughter calmed into a smile.

“I got it, haha.” She then proceeded to review all the steps on ‘how to add someone to your contacts’ to Diana. “Do you think you can do it on your own now?” She smiled at Diana as she finished.

Diana nodded silently, then looked up to Claudine with a wordless question in her eyes.

One that Claudine had no idea about.

“W-what?” After five minutes of not getting it, Diana’s stare was beginning to feel pressuring.

“May I have your number as well?”

Really. She was just so cute.

“You absolutely can.”

Weiss and Claudine watched over Diana with soft expressions on their faces as she stared at her screen, mesmerized by the names of her sisters on the tiny little glowing object in her hand.

“I’ve... I’ve never needed phone.” She confessed. “I’ve never had one... that’s why I have no clue on how to use it.”

“Huh? Not even for contacting your friends?” Weiss simply asked.

“I... I had an email. And a home phone... and...” Diana paused. “...no friends anyway. At least, not in school that I’d need to contact with an urgency.”

Claudine blinked. Maybe they should have expected this? She definitely couldn’t say she related to the experience as she’d been surrounded by love and good company for most of her life.

She couldn’t possibly hope to feel what Diana did, or understand it. What she could, however, was change those situations into something better.

She would let Diana feel loved.

She and Weiss would.

“Well... you have us now.” She said, quieter than expected. Almost a whisper.

Weiss and Diana turned to her, the latter’s eyes shimmering once more with unshed tears.

How many times had they made Diana cry already?

Her next words made Claudine want to as well.

“I do.”

//-//-//-//-//

D-day. It was a Monday.  Two weeks before classes would get rolling. Today, the girls’ main agenda would be to get Diana enrolled as soon as possible, and then Claudine and Weiss would proceed to check on their own student statuses and pick up their uniforms.

The uniforms had been issued as a means to identify their students. They were free to wear it as they saw fit, so long as it was still recognizable as belonging to the school.

After they had accomplished most of what they needed for Diana’s processes, they sat waiting in the seats just outside the office clerk’s transaction window, waiting for their names to get called on to pick up Weiss and Claudine’s uniforms.

“Could this take any longer?” Weiss groaned. “The service is taking ages!”

“Hush, you. It’s not that bad at all.” Claudine sighed. Although she felt a similar frustration and impatience after sitting in that place for nearly half an hour, she understood that there were many other transactions ongoing so close to the beginning of classes.

Even Diana looked as though she was getting bored. It wouldn’t be surprising if one of them fell asleep at some point. Claudine had already gone through a few games on her phone, and didn’t feel like playing any more. They could only wait at this point.

Before the trio could succumb to even more mental distress, like a taste of salvation, their turn came.

“Weiss Schnee.”

“Yes, yes.” Weiss almost jumped out of her seat, glad the nightmare was over as she skipped over to the window to receive her items.

“Claudine Saijou.” The clerk called next. Claudine made her way more calmly, bowing gratefully to the worker.

“Thank you.”

As Claudine was doing all the final checks for all of their things, and inquiring about Diana’s status, she barely heard Weiss mumbling to herself, staring at Claudine the whole while.

“Claudine Saijou…” Weiss thought long and hard. Since the other day she had been wondering about why Claudine’s face and name were so familiar. She felt stupid not asking anything about it sooner. They’d been living together awhile now! So why hadn’t they ever... well, to be fair, with all the circumstances surrounding them, they hadn’t really tried to pry too much into one another’s pasts. They had also always referred to each other by their first names right away.

She knew Diana’s last name by heart, and a little bit of the weight behind it because of all the things they’d had gone through since meeting, helping the girl. She was sure they knew her name as it was the only thing she’d ever share with her dick of a father.

But there hadn’t really been an occasion to think about Claudine’s. Even if they had met her mother.

Why was that?

Weiss didn’t really know or understand. But now, she had a chance to stand back and think about it. What was it that had been tickling her mind each time she heard that name.

She tested the name a few more times, a tingling on her tongue as she tried to jog her memory. Just where...

“Ah! “ Weiss snapped, turning to Claudine and pointing a finger right at her face. “Claudine Saijou! You’re Saijou Claudine!”

A surprised Claudine, reeled back slightly, eyes wide, blinking at Weiss. Just what was this girl going on about this time?

“Yes… Yes, I’m Saijou Claudine. Thank you for telling me my name.” She tried, recovering from her initial scare.

“And I’m Diana Cavendish.” Diana butted in, wondering if she should also state her full name. Had Weiss somehow forgotten and needed a refresher? Did she need them for something?

“No, no, you idiots.” Weiss sighed, exasperated. Luckily, neither of her sisters took offense to what she’d just called them. Organizing her realizations, she shared them to the pair, once more gesturing to Claudine. “You’re the one from that… that.. Lou’s ointment commercial from a while back!” She excitedly exclaimed.

A blush crept across Claudine’s features, suddenly hyper aware of their surroundings. She began to notice that Weiss little outburst was starting to garner attention as more people began to recognize her. Of course they would. In a school for the arts, why shouldn’t she expect this?

“Did she just say Saijou Claudine?”

“You mean the one from Seishou? That Saijou Claudine?”

Claudine flinched.

“I loved her acting in Starlight!”

“I preferred her Dracula.”

“We all know it was Black Beard that was the hottest.”

Only good things were being said about her, but Claudine couldn’t help but feel awkward in this situation. Plus, her sisters... were here. Somehow it felt a little embarrassing with them watching.

She could see some people inching closer to her, and she could hear whispers about taking photos or talking to her. Usually, she’d stand up straight in pride and thank everyone supporting her, but somehow she felt... uncomfortable from the attention.

She hadn’t been in Japan, in Seishou, for a few years. Maybe it was a little surprising to know that her name was still heard of, and it was mostly associated with her former school. She knew she’d made some mark in France, but... the more time she spent there, away from many things she’d chosen to leave behind, it felt as though her sparkle dimmed.

Things she’d left behind... huh.

Claudine shook her head, ridding herself of those thoughts.

Maybe they should leave now.

Claudine grabbed her uniform that had fallen to the floor after Weiss loud declaration. She bowed in apology to the staff for the ruckus, threw some thanks over her shoulder, and ushered her sisters out the room hurriedly.

“Let’s go.”

//-//-//-//

“So... Saijou Claudine huh.”  Weiss awkwardly repeated Claudine’s name for her to hear again.

Claudine remained seated on the courtyard bench with her head down, not looking at Weiss. Silent.

Weiss was beginning to feel a little guilty, not even knowing why. Maybe she should try to ease the situation some way?

“I… I liked the ointment? It worked really well for me and was compatible with my skin type.” She attempted lamely.

Diana voiced her agreement, feeling the tension present in the air and wanting to help out. “Yes, I also used it during…” She trailed off, eyes dulling as she looked away, now also silent.

The girls understood immediately what Diana had been needing it for.

With that plan backfiring, moments of nothing passed.

“It’s alright, Weiss.” Claudine lifted her head, trying to meet Weiss gaze as assurance, but then shifting her eyes to the side mere seconds later. “...I was just... embarrassed.” -that and feeling another emotion that Claudine didn’t really want to face at the moment.

Again, she thought of it. Really, it was rather uncharacteristic of her to be this way. Usually, she would be rather proud of her achievements. While not in an annoyingly boastful manner, she never shied away from attention. Usually she took it with grace and humility.

Maybe it was because they were her sisters suddenly looking at her differently. Or maybe it was because of the mention of Seishou and all the memories... and people linked to it that she had neglected for so long, that reminded her and made her feel at odds with the sudden attention.  Maybe... she just didn’t know.

“If it helps,” Diana tried again. Maybe this could help them lighten the atmosphere. “I, for one, am proud to have a sister who’s been on TV?” She smiled, taking a seat next to Claudine, placing a hand over her own on her lap.

No matter how talented Weiss and Diana were, their performances were mostly exclusive to their rich guests at home. Weiss may have been invited on a radio broadcast once or twice, or a recording for a documentary on music. She was once even on a YouTube video for a friend. But it was different from having your face be constantly plastered on screen every time a particular commercial came out for days on end.

“If I remember right, you had another one… Country… ma’am?” Claudine’s blush came back as she shyly nodded.

“Ah! I remember you also had this one play!” Claudine watched silver brows knit together momentarily, Weiss struggling to pin the tail on the donkey. “Anne? Annie? Wait, no, that’s not it. Let’s see here…” She mumbled a few more names to herself, before the confusion in her eyes cleared somewhat, Weiss carefully asking,“Arrie?”

Claudine chuckled, amused. “Thank you for remembering. Yes, that was- you could say- the peak of my work. That was then. But now…” She smiled softly, eyes on the dirt, kicking a pebble away and watching it roll along ‘til it came to a dead halt. “I’m nothing special, really.”

...Did she really just say that about herself? Her eyes widened the slightest bit but her expression settled before her sisters could take notice.

Now really wasn’t the time for her thoughts to be all jumbled up and in a mess.

“Are you KIDDING me, right now?” Weiss scoffed. “Did you see those people’s reactions back there? That’s definitely amazing. You’re amazing.”

“Says an international recitalist.” Claudine responded without missing a beat, looking up at Weiss with a glint in her deep magenta eyes.

Weiss looked taken aback. “Y-you know-...how?“

“I study much.” Claudine shrugged. “I’ve seen and kept far too many books, video sources and the like for reference. Research. It’s research, dear sister. And I’ve come across you more times than i have fingers.” She confessed.

“And you never bothered telling me you knew me?”

“Why would I?” Claudine grinned teasingly. “Want me to stroke your ego?”

“Hey!”

Just like that, the weight had been lifted and Claudine found herself enjoying this banter with Weiss. Her sass and her confident, straight-forward self that always seemed to amuse and cheer them up in many moments, breaking the ice in their interactions.

Claudine felt her entirety smile at her older sister, feeling warmer. Such a pleasant feeling.

As she silently admired her sibling, a gentle giggling tickled Claudine’ ears as Diana watched her younger sister’s exchanges and playful jabs at one another. Claudine noticed Weiss quiet down as well as they ended up staring.

She knew the thought the same thing. They found it quite nice, a very pretty sound coming from an incredibly beautiful girl.

That visage imprinted itself in her mind, and she couldn’t help but wonder if Diana-

“... Ever considered being a model, Diana?” Weiss suddenly blurted out the exact thoughts in Claudine’s mind.

Diana’s eyes were just as wide as hers as the stunned girl looked between her two younger sisters, words barely registering in her mind.

“Huh?”

//-//-//-//-//

School.

What a place.

School was, and always had been her escape back then. It was where she would not feel the physical torment of her aunt, it was a place where she wouldn’t have to endure the scathing words of her family.

Yes, school had its own pressures, the teachers keeping their watchful eyes on her; sometimes expectant, other times judging. Diana also had her fair share of distant admirers, and braver, envious foe, but those were trivial little things in comparison to her home life of abuse.

Thumbtacks in her shoes, or her books in a fountain were as ant bites to her, nothing in comparison to the lions that hungered to devour her once she stepped foot into the manor’s towering gates come the end of the school day.

So really, school may have been better than home, but it never really held a special place in Diana’s heart. If anything, it was more associated with terror and the idea of faux and temporary freedom.

But now, did these perceptions remain for Diana? Or could school be something else for her, now that she had two allies on her side.

Two allies... two sisters.

Diana inwardly smiled at the word. That she had them now, that they were present in a place like ‘school’, it already made all the difference.

Where she had no genuine friends and peers before, she now had two of the best people by her side. Where she had no one who believed in her or her dreams, she’d found two people pushing her to pursue ones she hadn’t realized she had.

And though she had no family to send her off to school then, she did now...

Right now.

“Okay, Diana. Just as we were told, today is only the orientation day. There won’t be any classes, so we’re expecting an early out for the day. Which means we’ll be expecting to see you pretty soon after classes end.” Claudine’s hands fiddled with her tie, straightening it out and pressing it gently to Diana’s chest. “Perfect.” She nodded in satisfaction, eyes lifting to meet Diana’s. “Now. I have a copy of your schedule because Weiss said it’d be best for us to know where you are at times.” She informed, before eyes widened in panic, an explanation on her lips. “W-we don’t mean to tread on your privacy of alone time or anything, you can tell us if-”

“Claudine. It’s okay.” Diana laughed, watching her sister calm down somewhat.

“Okay.” Claudine paused to admire the pretty sound of Diana’s happiness. “Okay, but anyway. Our lunch times match up, so we were hoping we’d all have it together; how do you feel about that?” Claudine bit her lip, just a little nervous.

“I’d love that.”

“Ah, thank goodness.” Claudine sighed in relief. “Also, you have our numbers and all so just ring us up if you need us.” Claudine added more and more to her list of reminders. “Also, I snuck a water bottle into your bag. Remember to hydrate regularly! And also, don’t be scared to tell the teacher if you ever need a bathroom break-”

“Claudine.”

“And blatantly- not shyly, mind you- give people a piece of your mind if they ever try to hurt-”

“Claudine!” Diana laughed again, airy and sweet. “I’m not a child, you both needn’t be so concerned.” She patted the girl on the head, gaining a blush from her younger sister. “Thank you. Also, class starts in five. I know your classroom is quite far from mine.”

She knew the girl was biting her tongue, keeping her from saying anything more. Diana knew she was considering Diana’s words, knowing they were right. “Fine...”  She relented.

“Get to your class, Claudine. I’ll be fine.”

Claudine still looked reluctant to leave Diana, eyes searching her expression for any doubts or anxiety, but finding none, she backed away.

“Fine. Okay. I got it. I’ll go. But!”

“Just go, Claudine.” Diana giggled. “Go. I’ll be alright. Please? Trust me?”

“I- I do trust you!” Diana heard the girl murmur a few things to herself. “I do. Okay. I’ll go. You’ll be fine, okay?”

“I will.”

“Okay. Pinky promise.” Diana felt her face warm as she and Claudine did the childish gesture, but it made her smile, thinking of how sweet and innocent Claudine could still be at times.

“Pinky promise.”

“Call me or Weiss! Lunch together! Water!” She called over her shoulder, even as she walked away.

“I will!” Diana reassured. Really, Claudine was a worrywart. The girl still paused in the middle of the hall before taking the turn around the corridor, making sure Diana was really alright. Once she was satisfied, she disappeared from the older girl’s sight.

Diana spun on her heel, facing the sliding wood separating her from her knew life goal. This was it. She just needed to take a step in. With a deep breath, it was like a mask was dropped onto her.

Her eyes became blank and cold, her expression just as frozen, settled not in a frown nor a smile. Simply a fine line on her lips. Diana trod into the room, a switch within clearly flipped.

She hated it. This Diana Cavendish. This Diana was cold and calculative to a fault. This Diana had built many walls around herself because she’d known the terrors of the world, and the possibility of people only here to use her. She had to be careful. That’s what the Cavendish had said. That’s what Diana had eventually tasted for herself after many betrayals.

This was only a defense. Impregnable as it should be when dealing with the outside world.

...

But then... where was this defense when she’d first met Weiss and Claudine? It was practically non-existent.

Diana felt her expression soften, eyes warming the tiniest bit. Thinking about her sisters made her feel... fluffy... inside. She never thought she could feel such a thing. It was such an abstract concept to her, that when she’d heard it from other people in the past, she knew she scoffed at the idea.

The emotions she knew were pain, anger, pride, sadness, the occasional joy. Feelings such as ‘fluffiness’ and ‘softness’, she’d never really understood what they meant. She still didn’t.

But she smiled. At least she now knew.

//-//-//-//-//

Diana internally squirmed in her seat, under the burning scrutiny of fiery eyes that had been locked onto her ever since she entered the room. Even during the duration of orientations and introductions, the only time the girl had broken her stare was when it was her turn to give her name and basic information to the class, as well as while she excitedly responded to a lot of things their professor had said. Only during those times did she give the poor Cavendish room to breathe.

Then it was back to watching every moment of Diana in that room.

Why?

Diana had no clue.

Kagari Atsuko.

She seemed peppy, cheery. She was loud and active. She was so different from Diana. She was friendly- or so Diana had observed as she first arrived in the class. She smiled at everyone and greeted them good morning, and Diana had regretted catching her gaze that now refused to leave her form.

She never said anything, she hadn’t greeted Diana ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’ like she did the rest of their classmates.

She didn’t get her.

She didn’t understand why the girl kept looking at her... she didn’t understand why she kept sneaking glances back.

So she didn’t force herself to think about it anymore than she should.

She may or may not get involved with the woman from time to time, maybe for school work and such, but she didn’t see them getting along at all. She had no time nor reason to pursue friendships anyway.

Kagari Atsuko, whoever she was, was just going to be another passing figure in her academic life, Diana concluded.

An odd lass, she surmised.

Class ended promptly, the professor saying she found no need to discuss much since it was only the first day, and that the students should go out and explore the campus. Maybe they’d find inspiration to use in the upcoming days.

As she packed her things into her bag, Diana could feel that incessant gaze boring into her back, the pressure laid strongly on her.

She really wanted to just ignore it, but somehow she felt like that wouldn’t be possible. There was a chance that this girl would actually act on all her staring.

...or not?

Diana quirked a brow as the girl had averted her gaze once Diana met it, clumsily throwing her materials into her own backpack, closing it haphazardly before rushing down the steps between the rows of lecture desks. As the bag hopped off her back as she made those rough movements, Diana  bit her lip. She could just foresee something happening-

And it did.

The girl’s water bottle had somehow fallen out of her pack, making a clacking sound that surprised the owner as she quickly tripped over her feet and fell to the floor.

In a span of under a minute.

Diana rushed forward without hesitation, body moving on its own as she crouched by the fallen girl, helping her sit up before gathering the contents spilled from her bag after she’d made her glorious failure of an exit.

Diana worked quietly, handing the girl her things and looking her over for any signs of pain or injury. Upon seeing that she may as well be fine, she got up wordlessly, gave the girl a curt nod before going out the door.

Only to be followed by that Kagari girl, voice calling out behind her.

“W-w-w-wait!”

She waited. Something compelled her to do so. Turning around, she raised a curious brow.

“I- you...” The brunette tried, not really knowing what to say after all that. “Thank you.”  She murmured quietly, and Diana had met her eyes and found sincere rubies glimmering with something she was unfamiliar with. Something that had suddenly captured her, leaving her staring. “Miss Cavendish.”

At the sound of her name, she snapped out of the odd trance, nodding once more with a reply of, “You’re welcome. Now I should go-”

“Wait-!”

Again, Diana felt her feet root themselves in place, not allowing her to leave. “Yes?”

She watched as the girl opened and shut her mouth, forming words in her mind perhaps, then rethinking them over and over ‘til she looked like a fish out of water with the way she left Diana hanging.

“If you have nothing else to say, I should be on my way.” That sounded a bit too cold, Diana admitted to herself. However, this was her normal reaction to people she did not know and could not be bothered to know anyway.

This was fine. She told herself so.

So then why was she so expectant? For... something- anything- from this unfamiliar person that had spent the better half of their orientation day ogling her?

Diana just didn’t get it. She didn’t get herself.

Upon receiving no response, she sighed, turning around for the last time. This time she wouldn’t look back. She wouldn’t wait. “Good day.” She said as a final word, shoes tapping against the floor.

She’d leave. She’d walk away this time. She’d ignore the stare boring into her very soul. She would never interact with this girl anymore if she could help it. She’d push away these strange feelings, these curious thoughts of hers all in a mess just because of this strange girl.

Then she’d be fine.

School would just be her, her camera, and her sisters. That was enough for her.

She kept walking, nearing the corner of the hallway.

“Ever considered being a model, Miss Cavendish?!”

-And she stopped.

[“Ever considered being a model, Diana?”]

Her sister’s question during her enrollment replayed in her mind, Diana slightly in awe at the coincidence.

Diana struggled to find her voice as she remained frozen by the stairs. Kagari Atsuko quickly followed after her, standing a bit too close for Diana’s liking, staring so intently into her eyes.

Once she found her tongue, a weak question was the only thing she managed. “Wh-why do you ask?”

“Please. Be my model.”’

There was this sincerity in her odd request, this spell in her eyes; and for a moment, Diana thought of saying yes. Only for a moment. Regaining her bearings, Diana shook here head, no.

It just wasn’t possible. Her?

“Please.”

Diana’s brows furrowed at the continued request. In the first place, should this girl really be asking her course-mate that?

“But… Miss Kagari… we’re both photographers…”

“So?”

‘So?’ What did she mean by that?

“Does that have anything to do with being my model?”

“...yes?” For one, Diana would be needing her own model. She’d figured she could ask her sisters for this one favor.

Diana realized the girl might be asking for their future projects that the teacher had mentioned earlier in orientation. If this was her way of being diligent by scouting early, she was barking up the wrong tree.

“But you could still do it! I know a senior who previously did the same thing! Come on, please, Miss Cavendish?”

In the first place, why was this girl so dead set on having Diana model for her? Why was she pleading so endearingly, with her eyes hopeful and sparkling, making it hard for Diana to say no. So hard to say no.

“I…”

‘I’ll think about it?’

Wait. Was that what she wanted to say? No, impossible. She shouldn’t even think of that possibility in the first place. Just.... what was it that was going on with Diana.

This girl had no clue who she was. She didn’t know Diana nor her past, nor her... scars. It wasn’t just an embarrassing feeling, or simple apprehension, now that she pondered on the reason behind her response- or rather, lack of it.

It was shame. If Kagari Atsuko ever found out about Diana Cavendish, there was no way she’d actually keep asking, was there? To have Diana as her model. No, not her. Not someone as marred and tainted, scarred and ugly as her.

And Diana had her answer.

“I’m sorry... I’m only a photographer.”

//-//-//-//-//

Weiss glared at her desk, willing the dark coffee stain on it away. There was also some cream, possibly from a doughnut, smeared along the side of it. So early in the morning, and already she was experiencing levels of gross she’d very much rather not see.

“Youch! You sure got the bad draw for the seating assignment. Wonder who among these early birds did that though.” Weiss’ eyes traced up the finger pointing to the frosted mess on her desk, trying to meet the origin of the voice that popped up beside her, red-tipped brunette strands obstructing her vision from this stranger’s face. This made her realize.

“Um... aren’t you a little too close?”

“Hmm?”

The mop of two-toned hair swayed with the motions of her new companion, turning her head to face Weiss.

‘Silver. How... peculiar.’

Before she lost herself, completely entranced, Weiss backed away in her seat, tearing her eyes free of that magnetic gaze. “I- I said you’re too close!”

“Oh. Oh! Oh, my bad. Sorry. Just. I saw you frowning so early in the morning, like you were gonna murder someone or something, or your desk.” The girl scratched the back of her head sheepishly. “I’m Ruby, by the way. Ruby Rose.”

“Miss Rose. Great. Well then, I’ll be looking for a way to... deal with this, so if you’d excuse me.” Weiss promptly rose from her seat, making a line for the door.

“Hey, that’s not very polite.” ‘Ruby’ called after Weiss. “I gave you my name, so why can’t I get yours?”

Weiss stopped in her tracks, casting a casual glance over her shoulder at the person who had gone and entered her personal bubble without much apprehension earlier, and admittedly, had piqued her interest.

Well. She was going to need some acquaintances to get through this class smoothly, after all. Hmm... but did it have to be her? Weiss pondered it. Maybe she could be of some use to Weiss.

With a small smirk, she considered her final options. She could just give her name... But where was the fun in that? They were classmates anyway.

So with a flip of her shoulder and a cheeky tone of voice,

“I’m sure you’ll learn soon enough.”

-She walked away.

//-//-//-//-//

Claudine stood outside the door of the classroom, hesitant about entering.

She was late.

She was late for classes because she had to make sure Diana was settled in and okay. Claudine had escorted Diana to her first class as some sort of precaution in case something happened to the girl on the way. She and Weiss had talked about it the night before school began, and decided it would be for the best. Just to be safe. So she’d taken the liberty to do this task as Weiss’ class started earlier than Diana’s and hers.

And she was glad to do it. Just that she might have taken a bit too long. Plus, it didn’t help that her classroom was on the other side of the building. Fortunately for her, she had swung by the faculty room first thing when they got to school to find her first period’s professor and inform her of the possibility that she’d be late. She was meticulous and sure like that.

But being late... wasn’t really the reason why she wasn’t too keen on entering the class, was it?

A deep breath.

She... should go in now.

With a simple, “excuse me”, and a knock on the front door, she slid it open to reveal herself to only the teacher who beckoned her in upon noticing Claudine.

If she took a step in now, what would greet her? Who would she see? Was she... ready for this inevitable reunion?

Her stomach churned.

Things were going to be different. She just knew it.

“Ah, yes, our final student.” Her professor’s voice took her out of her inner turmoil, adding to the dread she was feeling as she had no way out anymore. This was it. She had to face the stage and the people who stood on it. “She’s excused from being late because of some family circumstances, but we’re glad she could make it and complete our class, aren’t we students?”

Claudine thought the teacher was rather chipper. She seemed so happy so early in the morning. A totally different mood from Claudine.

She supposed she should just get on with it. Whatever happened, she’d deal with it later.

So she walked in, turning to the rest of the class, bowing in apology for being late.

... bowing to a certain group of people in apology for being a year late.

Claudine could clearly feel the eight pairs of extremely surprised eyes boring their scalding gazes into her. She wanted to address them and all the questions she knew swirled within them, but first things first. Formalities and introductions and all-

A resounding clatter of a seat, as it was pushed back suddenly, stole the room’s attention. A figure stood so abruptly, the handouts on the desk slipping off.

“Saijou…san.”

‘What a face you’re making...’ She chuckled to herself.

“Well, yes. I’m pleased you remember my name,” Claudine threw back with a bit of a tease, a sprinkle of playful haughtiness mixed in. She met the intense gaze with a fiery spirit of competition, like she always did; in a way, daring this person to say more, or to be her usual infuriating self.

But it seems she was just stunned.

Claudine raised a challenging brow, waiting for the spluttering mess to say something.

What she received was a gaping mouth, shock all over the woman’s expression, and a shy wave of a hand.

Then the mask of confident indifference she had donned melted into something much gentler as she looked into those Violet eyes she missed dreadfully.

“… Tendou Maya.”

//-//-//-//-//

Claudine felt pleasantly surprised that Aijo Karen could hold back any sort of emotion, at this point. She was very obviously buzzing in her seat in unfiltered tension and excitement, eyes frequently darting to where Claudine was. Hikari blatantly stared, and poor Mahiru tried to get both to calm down and pay attention to class orientation. Claudine found herself smiling the slightest bit at that.

Some things really didn’t change.

Maya, on the other hand hadn’t looked back at her once since their earlier reunion. While this could simply mean that she still kept her impeccable focus and professionalism that separated work and school from personal life, to Claudine, it was still their first interaction after a long time... She couldn’t help but feel disheartened.

Was she not pleased to see Claudine? Was it because... Claudine hadn’t kept in touch with everyone?  

Or was there something else that she didn’t know of?

//

Class could not end any quicker, but by the time that it did, Hikari and Karen were already making a beeline straight for her, as did the others- the others being the rest of her dorm mates and dearest friends. She was already bracing herself for the impending impact of these two jumping her, but before anyone else could touch her, Nana had sped her way past the pair, and engulfed Claudine in a near-bone-crushing hug.

“Kuro-chaaaan!” She wailed like a child, not completely out of character for Nana. “What happened to you all this time?!”

The flood gates of inquiry opened and rushed at Claudine who struggled to keep up with answering every query her friends had about the last year that she had been gone.

Warmth flooded her heart at the realization of many things. Among those was the fact that her friends didn’t seem mad at all. They had only been worried and hopeful for her well-being. Claudine’s heart was moved.

One thing that bothered her was that as the others fawned over her and asked her their endless questions, Maya just stood off to the side, not engaging with the rest of them. It unnerved Claudine. Maya was the one she was closest to, the one she thought she knew and understood the most.

So what was going on?

After everyone had calmed, satisfied with the brief explanation of Claudine’s life in Paris and why she’d lost contact with them all, she was surprised when everyone parted from her, creating a space to allow Maya and Claudine to clearly face each other. As if they were saying, ‘talk’.

Maya looked to be as shocked as she was. Claudine bit her lip nervously.

What would Maya do?

//-//-//-//-//

Tendou Maya knew she was a prideful woman. She was a confident woman. She was a skilled, talented, persevering woman.

What she was not was petty.

And yet, she couldn’t help but sulk the moment her mind had registered that Saijou Claudine was back. Back in Japan. Back in their circle of Seishou friends. Back to Maya.

That in itself was something she’d thought she’d rejoice about, having longed to see Claudine for many a sleepless night. The days that had gone by without so much a letter or a simple, ‘hello’ had torn her heart apart piece by piece, until she had somehow managed to convince herself that Claudine no longer cared for her... even if Maya still wanted to remain at her side.

Deep inside her, anxious pride told her that she should be mad. She should demand a reason from Claudine- although already given. Her bitterness hungered for a begging apology from Saijou Claudine who had forgotten all about Tendou Maya.

But having Claudine appear in front of her, realer than any of her worst dreams and most pleasant nightmares, and out of the unexpected blue, Maya struggled against the simple desire to give into her long-endured neediness and simply embrace Claudine and confirm that she was truly back.

“Maya-chan.” Nana had whispered, pushing her forward as she stumbled the first step before fixing her walk forward until she stood right in front of Claudine.

Claudine offered a hand out, a sense of deja vu washing over Maya as she took it, her own had shaking slightly.

Maya swallowed the lump in her throat, unable to fish for the right words in her mind that had melted into a puddle the moment Claudine gave her that sheepish, awkward, incredibly beautiful smile.

“Have you put on a little weight from all those potatoes, Tendou Maya?” She chuckled.

Claudine.

Maya was captured. She had grown even more beautiful, hadn’t she? This girl- no… they were women now weren’t they? Both Maya and the girl she knew as Saijou Claudine. They had become women in the short time they were apart.

But that wasn’t the only thing that had changed. Or rather, it was something that had finally surfaced so blatantly clear in their relationship; an aspect they had possibly always known but had pushed to the back of their minds as they had other priorities back then.

Maya knew that Claudine knew.

She knew they both realized it, and she could see it in Claudine’s eyes.

“I’ve missed you.” Maya murmured in the tiniest voice. She could see her friends’ smiles from the corner of her eyes, their grins growing wider as Claudine whispered her bashful reply.

“I’ve missed you too.”

And Maya knew it was love.

//-//-//-//-//

Claudine loved her friends. They were the most considerate people in the world. Maybe a little too considerate.

Claudine would have been fine spending time catching up with all of them, but it seemed as though they had caught onto the fact that Maya and Claudine wanted some private time to sort things out between themselves, and so were allowed time alone.

She swallowed down the lump forming in her throat, entirety suddenly full of butterflies in jitters. Being away from Maya for so long, not seeing her at all, unable to hear even her voice, it created this strange feeling of unknown- of an anxiety Claudine couldn’t describe.

Even if this was still Maya- dare she say her Maya-, Claudine could only wonder how much the girl could have changed without her by her side.

All those worries vanished like a mist in the rays of a smile as sunshine-y warm as Maya’s at this very moment. The cold fear in her heart melted away, and her heart beat strongly for a different reason now.

Maya’s eyes searched her own, and she found it difficult to form words. It was everything she could do to keep their gazes locked.

“I-”

“Will you stay by my side now?”

Her heart stopped.

Then ran so fast, Claudine was sure it would burst with all these feelings she knew could be nothing else but her undeniable attraction, and an emotion much deeper than that, towards Maya.

//-//-//-//-//

“Paris was amazing. It was like a dream that I had finally reached and made real.” Claudine began, as they settled on a bench at a deserted corner of the school’s vast courtyard. “At first it was so easy to tell you all of what had happened. The ups and the downs, the successes; the innumerable opportunities I had gotten... The classes were amazing. I learned so much.”

Maya took her hand, gently wrapping her own around it. She squeezed in her silent support, urging Claudine to continue.

“Then suddenly, everyone wanted me.”

Maya wanted to make a playful remark, a simple ‘My~ what a player’. However, there was something in Claudine’s expression that told her it would be better to refrain.

“I know you want to make a comment.” Claudine giggled against her other hand, giving Maya an eye smile that made her heart flutter painfully sweet. Claudine knew her so well.

“I did.” Maya admitted. Claudine nodded before leaning her head on Maya’s shoulder, eyes falling shut.

“You’d think it was all perfect.” Claudine whispered. “I thought it was what I wanted. All these jobs, the exposure, the experience. I thought I could handle it all.”

“But?”

“I was able to take it the first few months. I met so many people who were amazing, who were inspiring. Who had their dreams, goals and aspirations.” Claudine narrated. “But we were all apart. We had these grand views and desires. We had our individuality. That’s a marvelous thing, I know.” Claudine went on. “Even I left to be on my own... away from you all...”

Claudine had made a motion to separate herself from Maya, but Maya had quickly reached an arm over her shoulders, hand guiding Claudine’s head back onto her own.

“Stay.” She whispered, voice a little weak. She felt Claudine nod, and she sighed in relief.

She didn’t know why she did that, but a fear had lodged it’s way into her heart, one that replayed the emotions she had felt the first time Claudine had walked away from her. She dared not relive those again.

“Sorry.”

“It’s alright...” Maya murmured. “So? You thought you were all by yourself?” Maya continued for her. “But remember, we still work towards the same goal. We may have been apart, but that hasn’t changed. Not for me, at least. Didn’t you feel the same way?”

Maya felt that she’d be hurt if Claudine said no.

“I did. I do still.”

Maya felt relief wash over her as she received that reply. She was glad.

Her fingers began to gently tangle themselves in golden locks, playing with tufts of hair, occasionally massaging Claudine’s scalp. She felt the girl sigh and relax against her. Maya liked this. This feeling of comfort.

“So what was the problem?” Maya wanted to understand. She wanted to know what went on while Claudine was away. Why she had stopped contacting them, where she had gone, what she struggled with.

“Maybe it was too much for someone like me to handle. I might have over-estimated myself, Tendou Maya.” Claudine confessed, voice strained. It must have been something hard for her to admit. Maya nuzzled a kiss into her temple, disagreeing with her words.

“You’re Saijou Claudine. The most amazing performer I know. A top star.” She said with conviction.

“You’re the top star. You’re Tendou Maya.” Claudine sighed. “I’m... just a shadow lagging behind you-”

“Now you know that’s not true.” Maya cut her off, slightly angered at the mere implication that Claudine was anything less than her equal, and her partner. “That is not true. You have always been by my side, have you not? You have been the Saijou Claudine well-known for many of her works. The child prodigy, a star since birth!”

“And I was humbled upon meeting you.”

“You’re the one who was offered a full scholarship overseas!”

“I know you rejected it first!”

Maya’s breath caught in throat, words failing.

“I knew that you’d received the offer. When you said no, I didn’t understand. This was the chance of a lifetime. A season for growth. I believed it was. But we didn’t seem to think the same way. I was confused, Tendou Maya.  And so I went. If only to know why. I went and I tried... and then it all became too much.”

Claudine pulled away, allowing them both space to recollect themselves.

“I wanted to know how you could say no to such an offer. A bright future wanted you. And I went as only their second option. It... irked me. And so I wanted to prove that I could be just as good as you. That I could flourish even on my own.” Claudine spoke softly. “But I guess I was wrong. I wasn’t that strong. I became tired, I couldn’t manage all the things thrown my way. I didn’t know who to trust, who to go with, what to do anymore. And so I just... did. Everything.”

“Saijou-san...”

“That actually worked out quite well.” She chuckled, eyes lifeless as she recalled the downward spiral she lived those last few months in Paris. “I received multiple offers for university over there. Fully paid schooling. I gained what many yearned for, things others could only dream of attaining by turning off everything unneeded for the stage... or I thought they were unneeded.” Claudine looked at Maya with a held-back tears. “Then I saw that I was already alone.” Claudine laughed again, as sad as the last. “How odd, right? Haha, well that was that. We should talk about something else. How was senior year on your end?.”

Claudine was trying to wave it all off, smiling at Maya as if she wasn’t anxious and had been heartbroken.

“Tendou Maya?” The girl only stared at Claudine, not answering. “I’m sorry. My story must have been confusing. I would get it if you didn’t understand what I mean.”

But Maya understood. She understood it fully.

She remembered when they first met Yanagi Koharu, a like-minded genius as her. A girl who reflected the lonesomeness one dubbed as a ‘genius’ would experience. Maya remembered her own disregard for camaraderie back then. How she had, at most, only cooperated with others as they were mere stepping stones needed to reach the top. Her views of there being only one possible winner had been her driving force for perfection back then.

That was until Claudine opened her hand to her on the day of that evaluation to enter Seishou.

Then it all began to change for her.

Thanks to Saijou Claudine.

Maya had dedicated much time to repaying that favor. This moment was no exception.

If Claudine had felt alone then, she would never be from now on. Maya would make sure of it.

“Saijou-san-” “Maya-”

“Oh, you go first.” She had wanted to give Claudine some words of encouragement, of reassurance, but she seemed to have more to tell. It made her happy to see that Claudine had chosen to open her heart up so deeply to her. It was an honor that she’d gladly receive. Maya would listen to her, would understand her, and Maya would be there for her; she’d never allow Claudine to say she was ever alone again. “What is it, ma Claudine?”  

Maya had put on a welcoming smile, awaiting whatever else Claudine had for her to hear. However, Claudine seemed to have withdrawn after the interruption, a look of struggle on her features as no words came out of her parted lips.

“…”

“Ma Claudine? Is something the matter?”

“Actually… there’s something else I haven’t told everyone. And why I’m here.” She began, but then halted again, looking to the side.

Another difficult confession? Maya could only wonder. “You don’t have to force yourself to tell me.” She reassured, but kept her ears open just in case.

“But I want to tell you, Maya.” No Tendou. No honorific, just Maya.

And Maya listened.

“I had mentioned it, right? I had received offers to continue going to school there... I might have just went on, to be honest.”

“Yes. I was actually wondering about that. While I’m certainly glad you have returned, wouldn’t your chances have been brighter over there?”

Claudine nodded. “Objectively, I agree.” Maya understood that. “But... um... do you know about my family, Maya?”

“I’ve only heard as much as the others, I suppose, reluctant as I am to admit that.” She smiled weakly.

“Well, I don’t really make such a big deal about it anyway.” Claudine smiled back.

“We do all know that you love your parents dearly and often write home.”

“Yes. That’s true.” Claudine said. “In a sense it is.” She took a deep breath before allowing the next words to slip. “My papa, my father... or well, the man I actually consider as my father... is gone. Has been for a while. So it’s just me and my mom.”

“Claudine...”

Maya didn’t know what to say. She took both of Claudine’s hands in her own, thumbs brushing over her knuckles.

“It’s alright. We’ve already accepted it a long time ago. Maman and I... we miss him, yes. But we’re okay... or... I am, at least...” Claudine huffed, squeezing her eyes shut, a few tears spilling down her cheeks. “I came back because... I don’t know... when my mother will leave me as well...”

And Maya couldn’t take it. “I’m sorry, Ma Claudine.” Maya embraced her tight, whispering teary words onto her brow. “For all you’ve been through… and that I was never able to help you.”

“Idiote... it’s not your fault.” Claudine sunk into the hold, savoring the immediate warmth Maya provided her. They stayed like that a tender while, Maya allowing Claudine to express all her frustrations, grievances, and pain. She cried it all out with her.

“I’m sorry, Ma Claudine... I’m sorry.” She whispered against her hair in peppered kisses that sometimes made the girl cry even more.

“Mechante va... I told you it’s fine.” Claudine held onto Maya tighter, relishing in her comforting presence. “It’s fine...”

“Still... I could have been there for you sooner. I should have just kept reaching out. I should’ve followed you-! I should’ve bought a plane ticket and flew after you- No, I should have demanded another scholarship! Then we’d have been together-”

“Stop right there.” Claudine laughed through some sniffles, cupping Maya’s face with both cheeks and looking into her stunned eyes.  

Claudine really was beautiful, even as she cried.

“I-...” Maya waited, but what had seemed to be a planned retort, was set aside, Claudine simply shaking her head and smiling at Maya.

Really, Maya must look like a fool to her right now.

“An endearing fool, at least.” Claudine laughed some more at Maya’s shock at being read so easily. “A fool so willing to stay by my difficult self... All this time... willing and waiting.” Claudine sighed, touching her forehead to Maya’s.

Maya’s heart beat strong, a silly smile on her lips. Claudine was right. She was there for her. She always will be. And It wasn’t just Maya. She knew Claudine had many more people by her side. Both then and now.

“Maya?”

“Hmm?”

“Merci.”

Maya grinned, nuzzling her nose against Claudine’s.

“Je vous en prie, Ma Claudine.”

//

“Claudine?”

“Hmm?”

Claudine watched Maya purse her lips, hesitating a moment. Did she need something?

“What is it?”

“Earlier... you mentioned something... I was just curious. You don’t have to answer it or anything!” Maya clarified, a little panicked.

Claudine raised their joined hands, bringing the back of Maya’s to her lips in hopes of calming her. It seemed her plan backfired as Maya turned into more of a mess, if anything. It was cute.

“I- uh.. you see... father? You said...”

Claudine blinked. Then she understood.

“You said something about how your papa was the one you... saw as your father? And I didn’t quite... get that.”

Claudine had almost forgotten about that. Well there was nothing wrong with telling Maya about that. She’d learn eventually, right?

“Right. Um... I had said something about returning to my mother right?” Maya nodded. “But that wasn’t the sole reason. I... my papa isn’t quite my real father. My biological parent... was someone else.” Claudine sighed.

“I... see.” Maya seemed to be thinking hard about it.

“I received news about my mother and had wanted to find work here in Japan... and if I could, apply for a scholarship to keep studying, if possible. But then a letter came, saying that Maman was in the hospital, bills paid, and I was already enrolled in this school. Where all of you were. It was almost miraculous. A dream come true.”

Claudine prodded the crease that had formed on Maya’s forehead, giggling at how adorable she was being.

“Apparently it was, in a sense, a bribe. For me, and for a court that had held a trial against my ‘father’. I was angry, of course. I felt ashamed to be related to such a person, but... it was too good a deal to pass up.”

Claudine felt Maya squeeze her hand, concern written all over her face.

“And that’s it. How I ended up back here.” She smiled. “Thank you, Maya. For listening to all of that.” Claudine leaned forward to place a kiss on her cheek, enjoying the bright red glow of a rarely-seen, shy Tendou Maya.

“O-o-o-of course! A-anytime! You can talk to me anytime, Ma Claudine.” She stuttered out, her free hand touching the spot where Claudine’s lips had been.

Claudine felt her heart skip at the gesture. She already knew that Maya had realized it earlier as she had too;  and that there was something else they needed to talk about. However, she believed they could save that conversation for another day. Preferably, under better circumstances.

“Anyway.” Claudine caught Maya’s attention again, standing up to get ready to leave for the day. “It’s not all that bad.” She then remembered another important detail that she needed to fill Maya in on. “Actually, something good came out of it.”

“Oh? And what is that?” Maya smiled, taking Claudine’s offered hand as the girl helped her up.

“You see-”

“Claudine? Are you here- Oh, there you are!”

A voice cut in to their conversation, the attention of the pair redirected to the new arrival walking her way towards them.

“Thank goodness. I was just looking for you so we could pick up Diana since her classroom is the farthest from- oh.” The white-haired woman halted in her steps, at first only seeing Claudine, late in noticing that she wasn’t alone. “Am I… interrupting something?”

‘Such impeccable timing.’

Claudine didn’t respond to her, instead, she gestured with an open hand to Weiss in hopes this would help Maya process what she was about to say. She should really express her thanks to Weiss later for her amazing assistance. After all, show rather than tell because seeing is believing.

“Tendou Maya.”

The girl perked up, curiosity in her eyes, and some hints of confusion as well.

“It appears as though, as of recent…” Claudine awkwardly chanced a look back and forth between them. “...I’ve acquired myself a pair of sisters.”

…

“Oh.”

A/N: Future (?) Love-interests, Get! Also I will be exposing how Diana’s parents met in the future so calm your horses. Again, sorry this was super late. I promised it 2 weeks months ago but got slammed into a wall of life. Thank you for reading and for the support!

~Shintori Khazumi

[rainbowshawn]

Pure Devotion

A/N: I got lots of requests for fluff with some angst so this is what I came up with. Not sure it counts as true angst but I gave it a shot. This is entirely me projecting my issues into a fic after a rough couple of weeks so hopefully y’all like it!! Comfort!Shawn is my fav

Summary: Things have been hard for you lately and Shawn knows just how to comfort you. 

Warnings: Language, detailed experience of an anxiety attack, angst I guess? Laced with a ton of fluff

Word Count: 3.7k

It was no secret that life had been really hard for you lately. It felt like anything that could go wrong, did and the stress had started to eat you alive. As things pile up, your mental health goes down and quite frankly- you’re just fucking exhausted.

You’re a chronic bottler, though. It’s very rare that you ever unload your baggage by talking about it because usually, you’re too busy helping everyone else. You’ve always been strong but somehow being strong is one of your weaknesses.

Today had been especially hard. Not particularly for any reason; just little things all day. But your tolerance had been fizzling out for weeks as the stress added up and now you’ve found yourself spiraling. Anxiety was eating at your mind and you couldn’t find any way to make the thoughts stop. Your mind is moving at such a fast pace, you can’t even think straight anymore. You’ve tried everything; music, meditation, deep breathing, and even a short run. Nothing seems to ease your mind.

Now you’re laid on the couch; feeling overwhelmed and empty at the same time. There’s only so much you can take; you know that. But stripping your walls down felt nearly impossible. You would rather suffer in silence than burden others with your problems. It’s only a matter of time until it catches up to you though.

Everything feels exceptionally heavy today and you know it’s only a matter of moments before you break. But you decide to grin and bear it when you hear the front door closing shut behind Shawn. You blink back the tears pooling behind your eyelids and take a deep breath as he toes off his shoes by the door.

“Hey sweetheart,” he says in his incredibly soothing voice, walking over to the loveseat where he haphazardly drops his backpack and guitar case.

“Hi, baby,” you murmur in response, “how was your day?”

You busy yourself by pulling your hair out of the ponytail you had it tied up in; avoiding his gaze. Luckily, he doesn’t take notice, giving you extra time to pull it together.

“Goooood,” he draws, smiling down at you as he approaches the couch, flopping down next to you. “Got lots done at the studio. I’m so excited for my muse to hear all the songs about her,”

He wraps his arm around your shoulders, pulling you towards him to press a sloppy kiss to your forehead before moving to press a kiss to your lips. He watches a small smile break across your lips but it feels oddly wrong to him. It doesn’t meet your eyes. Those beautiful glowing eyes.

“I’m excited to hear,” you chirp, rubbing his thigh.

You can tell by the way he’s squinting that he’s onto you and your anxiety grows tenfold. You can tell he's in a good mood and the last thing you want is to take it from him by dumping your problems on him. Before he can even pitch out a question about your day, you’re halfway across the room; waltzing towards the stairs.

“M’gonna go take a nap,” you say, glancing back towards the confused boy on the couch, “My head is killing me.”

“O-okay. Can I do anything to help you?” he asks, shooting you sympathetic eyes.

“Nah, thank you though,” you shake your head, turning back towards the stairs, “Just need some quiet I think,”

He nods slowly behind you, still squinting a bit at the slight wobble in your voice. He watches you bound up the stairs and he wonders if something else is going on in that head of yours. It’s not like you to be so quiet. So short with him.  And that damn smile. Something just wasn’t right about it. But ultimately after a few moments he supposes it must be your head. After all, it was true that you frequently got headaches. So he decides you just need some space to sleep for a bit and then everything would be okay. At least he hoped.

Once you reach the dimly lit room, you swing the door shut and climb into the plushy bed. The lump in your throat feels like barbed wire and tears prick at your eyes. You know you’re about to break and there’s nothing you can do to stop it. You take a deep breath before pulling the covers over your shaking figure and nuzzling into Shawn’s pillow, breathing in his comforting scent as your emotions begin to pour over.

Your body shakes as quiet sobs start to roll out of your body. Pain courses through your veins and it feels like there isn’t enough air in this entire world anymore. You do your best to keep quiet but sniffles and choked sobs escape you every so often. You do your best to take deep breaths but it feels like absolutely nothing in the world can help you anymore.

The sound of the bedroom door opening moments later makes you wince, burying your face further in Shawn’s pillow.

“Babe, I found your pain meds in the cabinet do you-“ he blurts out before stopping in his tracks at the sight in front of him.

Your eyes are bright red, soaking your cheeks in hot tears. His eyes widen at the sight of you, clutching onto his pillow for dear life and breaking down right in front of him. Your breathing is jagged as you gasp for air and choke out pained sobs. He swears he feels his heart break in his chest and its only a second later that he’s bounding towards the bed you’re laid out on.

“Honey, what’s going on?” he says, climbing onto the bed where he sits next to your aching body. You’re laid on your side with your back facing him and you hope to god he can’t see your face. Your heart thrums in your chest at the sheer embarrassment you’re feeling. This was the last thing you wanted him to see.

“It’s nothing, Shawn,” you try to whisper, burying your face into his pillow in a lousy attempt to reassure him.

“Y/n,” he pleads, brushing your hair behind your ear, “Something that’s making you cry like this isn’t nothing,”

“I’m okay Shawny,” you whine, choking on another sob.

He sighs, looking down at you hopelessly. A lump grows in his throat as he watches you cry. He’s felt an off energy from you for weeks and he knows you’ve had a lot on your plate. Socially, professionally, and personally. It would overwhelm anyone.

“No you’re not,” he insists, reaching to swipe his thumb across your tear-soaked cheek, “Come here, baby. Let me help you.”

You lay just lay there, trying to find the strength to let your guard down. Trying to find the courage to let it all go. You hated putting all this pain on him.

After a moment, you reluctantly sit up, hesitating briefly as you try to suck in a deep breath before turning around and slowly leaning into his embrace. His warmth envelops you immediately, wrapping you in a shield of comfort as his strong arms pull you into his lap. His presence is where you feel safest and somehow that thought makes you cry even more.

Your body shakes with sobs; ebbing and flowing with uneven breaths. Shawn’s heart aches deep in his chest and he feels the familiar sting of tears behind his eyelids. Your pain is palpable, radiating off of you uncontrollably. Your legs are straddling his hips and his face smothers into the crook of your neck as you rest your head on his shoulder.

His breath fans across your cold skin as he presses kisses to your shoulders. You feel his hands rubbing up and down your sides comfortingly as he slowly rocks you back and forth.

“Shh, baby you have to take a deep breath,” he whispers soothingly, “Can you do that for me?”

“I-I can’t breathe, Shawny,” you stutter, tears still flooding down your flushed cheeks.

He pulls back from you, shifting to brush your tangled hair back from your soaked face. His eyes are drowning in sympathy as he watches your panic and he wishes he could just take it all away. Take all your pain as his own so you would never have to feel like this again.

“Remember grounding, lovey? I need you to do that with me, okay?” he says softly - as if he was afraid the sound of his voice would worsen your state. You give him a frantic nod, wrapping your arms around yourself.

“Need you to tell me five things you can see,” he says, still rubbing your sides soothingly.

You take a shaky breath, blinking more hot tears out of your eyes. You gulp and squeeze your eyes shut momentarily before opening them again.

“Umm, I see you,” you whimper, feeling overwhelmed.

“Mhm,”

“I see the lamp... the candle... the um, the blankets,” you stutter out, trying your best to focus on the task he gave you, “I see the floor.”

“Good, good, sweetheart,” he praises, petting your hair softly, “Now tell me four things you can feel,”

Your senses shift, zoning in on his touch. His hands take turns sweeping through your hair and trickling down your back. “I feel your hands,”

He smiles softly, waiting for you to continue.

“I feel my body on top of yours,” you whisper as you feel the backs of your thighs press against his lap, “I feel my sweatshirt.”

“Mhm, good. One more?”

“Umm,” you huff, feeling a bit frazzled as you struggle to find something else. He notices your struggle and his large hand grabs yours, tugging it to his chocolate curls.

“Feel my hair?” he prompts, aiding you in fishing the task. You nod, still sniffling as cries left your aching body.

“What can you hear? Three things, babe. You’re doing so good.”

“I hear your voice,” you croak, smiling incredibly weakly; realizing just how comforting the sound of his voice is. “I hear the fan. And the birds.”

He hums, kissing your hand that isn’t slotted in his hair.

“Gimme two things you can smell?”

You breathe deeply for what feels like the first time in forever, trying your best to find something in the familiar air.

“I smell your cologne... you. My shampoo,” you shrug, feeling underwhelmed with your answers. He chuckles a bit at your demeanor.

“Last ones kinda tricky but one thing you can taste?” he raises his eyebrows, hoping you could come up with something since he was at a loss at the moment and he didn’t want to make you trudge into the kitchen to find something.

“I-I don’t know,” you whimper, bottom lip quivering again.

The minuscule movement sparks an idea for him and he pops up at the thought.

“Kiss me, honey.”

You quirk your eyebrow, shooting him a confused look as you wipe tears from your face. You go with it though, pressing your quivering lips to his. The kiss is slow, saturated in tender love. It doesn’t demand anything from you; just serves as a reminder of his undying love for you.

“Taste me?” he whispers against your lips. You hum into him. He kisses you for a second longer before resting his forehead against yours. “Did so good, lovey. Think we can take some deep breaths now?”

You don’t realize until now that your breathing has started to even out. Your limbs are still tingling and your mind still races but by some miracle - you’re breathing.

Grounding was something he had taught to you months ago when he found you crying on the bathroom floor amid another panic attack. The sight sent chills down his spine and he vowed from that day that he would never ever let you feel that way if he could help it. Seeing you in the same state today broke his heart on another level and somewhere deep in his soul, he feels as though he’s failed you.

“Y-yeah, I think so,” you say, huffing in ragged breaths.

“Okay, dear. Follow my lead, yeah?”

With tear flooded eyes you watch as he fills his lungs with air, puffing his chest out dramatically to keep you in time with him. You follow his movements, sucking in as deep of a breath as you can and holding it for a few moments until you feel your heartbeat slowing in your chest. He smiles softly as the two of you sigh the breath back out, into the still air of your shared room.

“Good, good,” he praises, reaching up to swipe some stray tears from your face, “Keep going.”

You continue on for a while, breathing deeply with him as you search for solace in his amber eyes. They’re softer, more sympathetic than usual and part of you hates it. It reminds you that this is hard on him as well. Your emotions shouldn’t be his issue too- at least that’s what you’ve convinced yourself.

After your breathing returns to a semi-normal rate, the unbearable wave of exhaustion hits you and you find yourself wrapping your arms around him, burying your warm face into his neck. His fingers ghost up your spine, leaving nothing but love in their wake. Goosebumps riddle your skin as the feeling returns to your tired limbs and you sigh lightly into his skin.

“What’s going on, honey? M’so worried about you,” Shawn croaks after a while, breaking through the quiet moment.

You hesitate, still sorting through your thoughts. Images of the past month or so swipe through your mind and you have to remind yourself to blink them away before it became too much again.

“It’s everything, Shawny,” you whimper, beginning to sniffle again, “and I’m just fucking exhausted.”

He gulps when hears your voice break once again. As if your vocal cords were being weighed down by pain. His hands shake as they trail down your sides; completely in tune with your emotions. It was a blessing and a curse to be so in sync with each other. To be connected at your cores. But he takes a deep breath, reminding himself that you need him. He needs to be strong for you.

“I know, baby, shh,” he soothes, seeing tears leak down your face once more, “don’t cry, baby, I hate seeing you cry.”

Warm kisses are stamped onto your forehead softly by his soft lips and you feel him slowly sway your distressed body. Your nose nuzzles into his pulse point, inhaling his warm scent. You stay silent for a moment, hoping and praying your body wouldn’t betray you and send you into another panic.

“Work has just been so stressful, my family life is in shambles, my friends barely talk to me anymore, and now it feels like the world is fucking ending,” you rant, voice wobbling uncontrollably, “it’s just fucking everything. I feel so alone,”

“You aren’t alone, my love. You are never, ever alone. Not as long as I’m around. I’ll be there for you until my last dying breath, you know that right?”

“Mhm,” you hum, nodding quickly as you lift your head up and wipe your face, “I just don’t like putting all this on you. I know how you carry it all.”

“Well, it doesn’t matter. Your pain is mine and mine is yours. That’s just how we are. And I love that about us,” he starts, brushing your hair behind your ears before continuing once he knows he has your attention, “You can’t bottle things up, lovey. You can try to hide it all you want but you know I feel it. Like some Long Island Medium psychic shit,”

He shoots you a smart ass look and you actually crack a smile. A real smile. The smile that could knock the world off its axis and stop people in their tracks. The smile that could make his heart skip and burst at the same time. The smile he loved more than anything.

“There’s my girl,” he smiles back, leaning in to ghost his lips across your soaked cheek. You groan and hide your face in his shoulder again before his fingers tap your chin, pulling your attention back to him.

“Listen, I know I can't fix or change what you’re going through,” he starts, staring into your eyes, “and I know that it’s a lot. It would be too much for anyone to deal with. But that’s just a testament to how resilient you are, hm? God, if I were in your shoes I would’ve had a nervous breakdown months ago,”

You blush at his words, heart thumping with adoration for the boy holding you.

“I can't make it all stop as much as I wish I could. I would take all this pain from you in a heartbeat if God gave me that chance. Feel it all so you wouldn’t have to,”

“Shawn-“

“I’m serious, baby,” he insists, “I would. But I can’t. But what I can do is be there for you. Be your support. Your shoulder to cry on. That’s what I’m supposed to do,”

“But you have your own things, I don’t want to-“ you interject before he stops you with a long finger pressed against your lips.

“Ah ah ah- no buts!” he cuts in, “I’m your lover. That’s what I do. You wouldn’t hesitate to be there for me, hm? You’re always there when I need you, so let me do the same,”

His eyes search yours, noticing every ounce of pain hidden deep behind your eyelids. Your forehead leans into him, nose resting against the tip of his and you breathe him in while he whispers to you.

“I’ll be damned if I ever let you feel like you’re alone in this world. That’s my job- making you feel loved and attended to. Always. You’re my whole heart, baby. You don’t know how lovely you are,”

A single tear escapes your eye as his words hit you. Shawn’s a beacon of love and light. Your shelter from the storm and nothing he has ever done has made you feel like he didn’t love you. It was just your stupid mind; a master manipulator of convincing you that your problems were a burden to everyone around you. Your mind forces you to push his comfort away when you need him the most.

“I know it doesn’t help much but I’m here. I’m with you. You’re my person, remember?” he whispers into the quiet air, hoping that his words could alleviate your pain somehow, “You’re not alone in this,”

“It does help. Thank you,” you whisper weakly; sniffling air through your stuffy nose. “I love you so much. I’m sorry I’m like this,”

“Don’t apologize, baby. There’s no reason to. Just remember you don’t have to carry it all by yourself, okay? I cant help you when you don’t talk to me about it,”

His face drops to your shoulder, littering the skin with loving kisses. Stamping you with little pecks as he moves up your neck and eventually, your cheeks. You nod in response and close your eyes, focusing on the feeling of his lips.

“You’re sad and you’re scared. And that’s okay. But things will get better. I promise you that,” he whispers, popping his head up to meet your gaze. You smile softly, glancing down at his pink lips. He wastes no time in connecting them with yours, hoping you could feel his love through the kiss.

You sigh into his lips, wrapping your arms around his shoulders while his hands trail up and down your spine before resting at your waist. The kiss isn’t demanding; no underlying motive other than to remind you of his pure devotion to you. His lips are soft against yours and his arms take purchase around your waist, holding onto you tightly. Reminding you that he’s here.

You break away breathlessly after a few minutes of lazily loving on each other, just gazing into his honey pot eyes. He smiles up at you with a hopeful glint in his eyes, turning over some ideas in his head.

“Until then, it’s my job to keep you stress-free, hm?” he prompts, pecking your lips again, “How does taking a nice long bath with me sound? I’ll get your favorite bubbles and your favorite candles set up for you,”

You beam down at him, eyes squinting more than usual from the slight swell your crying had brought to your eyes. “That sounds lovely, Shawn,”

He hums, kissing you again and again, “And remember that bath bomb I got for you a couple weeks ago when Aaliyah dragged me into lush? M’thinkin we could use that.”

“Oooo the rainbow one?!” you smile, remembering the night he had come home with bags full of soaps and lotions insisting that ‘everything in that damn store reminded me of you,’

“Mhm,” he nods quickly, even more excited than you, although he would never admit it. “Nothin' but the best for my lovey. We can even watch Tangled again if you want. I know how much you love it,”

You take a moment, nearly cooing down at the soft boy slotted between your legs as he lays his plan out in front of you. You know he would do anything to make you feel better and your heart that was just aching in pain is now saturated with love for him.

“I love you so much. Thank you for being you. I’d be lost without you.” you whisper as you rub his strong chest, feeling the need to remind him that he’s your safe space and not a second goes by that you don’t appreciate him.

“I love you too. More than you know,” he hums, kissing your warm lips, “Now let’s get in that bath.”

You don’t expect his next movement, standing up quicker than you can blink and tossing you over his sturdy shoulder with ease. You giggle wildly as you smack his back, blood rushing to your head as he trudges to the bathroom. The sound is like music to his ears and he decides right in that moment that it’s all he wants to hear for the rest of his days.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 270: Harry Potter Rules

Previously on BnHA: Present Mic punched Ujiko in the face! It was awesome. I’m thinking about getting a tattoo of it. Meanwhile Endeavor saved Mirko’s life by setting her on fire (reason #15 why I will never become a superhero), and Aizawa did some sexy Spider-Man poses for our viewing pleasure while fighting the rest of these Noumus which are still annoyingly refusing to die. Anyway but back to Present Mic, the undisputed MVP of this chapter. Because you see, in addition to the punching, he also used his Loud Voice attack (literally the actual attack name; Horikoshi will steal all of my jokes and leave me with nothing) to smash open Tomura’s Noumutank! Which I really thought was going to immediately lead to Everyone Dying, but apparently I was wrong! Anyways so yeah, right now Tomura’s just lying down all heart-stopped and not-breathing. Which seems very anticlimactic, BUT I JUST HAVE THE CRAZIEST FEELING that maybe, just maybe, the super powerful villain lad who just spent the last three arcs slowly upgrading his bad self just in time to wage war on the world as the story reaches its climax, might not actually be dead though.

Today on BnHA: DON’T MIND THAT OMINOUS ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND, IT’S NOTHING, IGNORE IT. Ahem. So first of all, as some of the bolder among us dared to speculate, Tomura is not, in fact, dead. He’s still very much kicking it with his nipple-less pecs and truffula tree hair, putzing around in his mental landscape filled with crumbled buildings and disembodied Theatrical Gesture Hands. For some reason he doesn’t have shoes or a shirt in his mental landscape, which was a very interesting choice on Horikoshi’s part, but we will speak no more of it. Anyway so to sum things up, Tomura’s family is all “TENKO WE LOVE YOU” and he’s all “oh hey” and then AFO fucking appears and he’s all “COME HERE MY BOY” which is exactly as creepy as you would expect, and for some fucking reason TOMURA ACTUALLY DOES COME HERE. And lol it turns out Ujiko gave him AFO. Like the quirk. Yes, that quirk. So long story short, Tomura is about to be possessed by AFO’s evil soul or some shit, and to put the cherry on top, fucking Deku out of fucking nowhere, MILES AWAY, is all “HE’S COMING.” Because of course he can sense it, because AFOFA IS REAL, AND FUCK ME THIS IS ALL HAPPENING TOO FAST, FUCK.

I know this chapter has been out since like 1pm, but I’m not getting to read it until 5 hours later because for once in my life I was trying to be responsible and actually get some work done on a Friday. I thought this might lead to less oh-god-I-still-have-to-get-that-done anxiety hovering over my weekend, but instead it just led to oh-god-I-have-to-get-the-chapter-recap-done anxiety hovering over my now! anyways so this might be a bit rushed lol

(ETA: yeah turns out this wasn’t exactly the kind of chapter you could just read quickly and get on with your life lmao. so, then!)

what a nice panel of Present Mic taking out the trash

you heard ‘em fellas. the doctor is secured. good job everyone we did it, manga over, congratulations. now to cut away to a two-page spread of Dark Shadow comically smothering Dabi’s flames with a giant stock pot lid, and that’ll be that! what a wonderful, extremely short and strangely underwhelming arc in which we haven’t even seen the actual main characters do anything yet. but I guess we don’t need them since the main bad guy is lying dead on the floor! everything is just so fucking dead and secured!! do you think if I keep repeating it enough Horikoshi will finally be like “okay geez I get it” and reveal his hand already

Mic is now ordering Ujiko to power down the Noumu, which again, I’m sure he will definitely do without a fuss since after all the good guys have clearly won the day

OH SHIT OH FUCK

rip X-Less. gonna just take a moment here to imprint your beautiful face onto my memory before it turns into a pile of ash. your face, I mean. not my memory. well my memory more or less already is a pile of ash but that’s neither here nor there ANYWAYS

:’)

what are these little sound effects. I think that’s supposed to be a buzzing noise?? anyways whatever it is PLEASE STOP IT, I AM NOT HAVING A NICE TIME SO STOP

ffff Horikoshi sure has done an excellent job of setting the mood in such a way that all of these panels of X-Less doing incredibly mild things are sending my stress levels through the roof. like is anyone else reading his lines more or less like “WELP, TIME FOR ME TO DIE, ANY SECOND NOW, WE’RE REALLY DOING THIS, THIS IS REALLY HAPPENING, HERE IT COMES”

(ETA: when is this poor sweet innocent man going to fucking die already.)

LET’S CUT BACK TO MIC ESCAPING THE IMMEDIATE VICINITY

I have the clearest mental image of Horikoshi standing by with a walkie talkie in one hand and one of those remote bomb detonation clicky switch thingies in the other, patiently waiting to receive the go-ahead once all of the important characters have gotten to safety

anyway so now Ujiko is talking again

no fear everyone this is just the beginning of his verbal noumu deactivation sequence. nothing to worry about. everything is fine

yes for some reason his code phrase to put all the noumus back to sleep involves going into rambling detail about his work researching quirk singularities and shit. it’s fine. it’s not a big deal. code phrases are just like that sometimes all right

just ignore the increasingly panicked look in Mic’s eye as he slowly realizes he was way too fucking keen to just leave the “dead” Tomura back there with his laser-eyed hero buddy. anyway so let’s continue learning all about the Quirk Illuminati or whatever the fuck

okay so... he faked his own death? 70 years ago, at age 50 or thereabouts? I mean, that’s interesting and all I guess. not saying I wouldn’t be thrilled to spend the rest of this chapter learning all about Ujiko’s boring evil life. I don’t need to say it because it’s implied on account of Ujiko sucks and is the worst. so yeah can we get a move on though

oh shit?!?

WHOSE NARRATION IS THAT IN THE BOXES TOMURA IS THAT YOU OH GOD OH GOD

also, comparing AFO’s smile to a buddha’s really sent an actual shudder of disgust down my spine for some reason lmao. I personally would have steered that comparison in a different area, maybe less to buddhas and more to Norman Bates from Psycho, but to each their own

oh shit wait up

okay but this is actually a pretty big revelation though, isn’t it? because it’s been hinted for a while now that AFO and Ujiko had some method of duplicating quirks (the fact that all the Noumu share the same regeneration quirk was the biggest clue, but there was also John-chan’s quirk, as well as Hood’s Muscular-esque quirk), but as far as I can recall, this is the first time we’ve had it confirmed. though to be fair I wasn’t joking when I said my memory really has been shit lately sob

anyway so for real though, can you really call it a BnHA chapter if you’re not spending a good chunk of it being hopelessly confused over the ownership of some ambiguous thought bubbles. WHO IS THIS. I do seriously feel like it’s Tomura, because he’s the wrathful one, but another hallmark of a typical BnHA chapter is me constantly questioning everything I know as I muddle my way through

(ETA: yeah I’m pretty sure it was him. still impressive how vague it is though! it could also potentially be Ujiko, Mic, or even Deku. hopefully Caleb’s translation on Sunday can shed some more light on this. though he wasn’t really helpful last time this happened lol.)

SOMEBODY PLEASE TELL ME WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

didn’t... you just... say that “preservation” was your quirk?? what do you mean that you wanted it?? CAN YOU JUST FINISH YOUR SENTENCES LIKE A NORMAL PERSON

anyway so here’s a summary of this chapter thus far

present mic: okay goodbye forever x-less

x-less: what a strange thing to say! :) also is it just me or is this machine fucking staring at me

present mic: turn the noumu off please

ujiko: seventy years ago... society... singularity... he’d be 120 years old now...

??: [REPULSIVE FEELING EW WHO’S TOUCHING ME]

ujiko: all for one has the smile of an angel...

??: [SON OF A BITCH I’M SO FUCKING WRATHFUL]

ujiko: my quirk... preservation... the truth is... my quirk... preservation... the truth is... my quirk...

all caught up?? grand. also btw is anyone else super disturbed by the fact that Ujiko recognizes Mic as being “Kurogiri’s friend”, like holy shit though? how would he know that. I can’t think of any implications of this that aren’t super disturbing tbh

anyways back to -- LOL WHAT THE

Horikoshi Kouhei: [furiously scribbling notes to himself at 3am] BUT WHAT IF THE FOLDING CITY FROM “INCEPTION” HAD MORE GIANT HANDS

jesus christ. is this like some mental representation of what shit is currently like in Tomura’s mind? lots of crumbly destruction and traffic lights and the house his father built (isn’t it? I feel like it looks familiar), and SO MANY HANDS, HE JUST LOVES HIS HANDS

anyway so at this point it’s a coin toss whether or not anything in this fucking chapter is ever going to make any kind of fucking sense! but here I am voluntarily along for the ride while Gene Wilder sings that creepy boat song right in my ear!

DSFKLDSJ

ACCURATE REPRESENTATION OF SOMEONE WHO HAS BEEN FLOATING IN A JAR FOR THREE MONTHS TBH. that is some luscious quarantine hair

SDFLKJSDLFKJSLKFDHLKSDJFLKJLKSDJL:FKJSDL:KJ

(ETA: that Tomura in the top left may be my new favorite panel. look at him. all he is is a nose and chin and ~*~HAIR~*~.)

HANAAAAAA AHHHHHH OH MY LORD OH MY LORD! OKAY I’M FINALLY PAYING ATTENTION NOW FOR REAL! NO MORE JOKES! EVERYBODY SHHHH!!!

FFFFFFFFFF

“LOOK AT ME I’M A MAIN CHARACTER I CAN HAVE STRANGE VISIONS AND TALK TO DEAD PEOPLE IN MY DREAMS, SOUND LIKE ANYBODY ELSE YOU KNOW?” TOMURA SHUT UP I DON’T HAVE TIME TO ANALYZE THIS SCENE THEMATICALLY RIGHT NOW I’M TOO BUSY BEING SAD ABOUT YOUR DEAD SISTER WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY CALCULATING THE ODDS OF THIS SOMEHOW BEING FORESHADOWING FOR HER NOT REALLY BEING DEAD. OH GOD, OH FUCK YOU GUYS, I’M FREAKING OUT

WHAT KIND OF YOUNGER BROTHER DOESN’T CALL HIS OLDER SISTER “NEECHAN” TOMURA WHAT KIND OF ANIME CHARACTER ARE YOU

AT THIS POINT HIS HAIR IS ITS OWN INDIVIDUAL CHARACTER WITH THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS WOW

HORIKOSHI PLEASE STOP SHAKING THIS CHAMPAGNE BOTTLE OF SIBLING FEELS SO VIGOROUSLY I AM SO TERRIBLY AFRAID OH GOD

“BY THE WAY TENKO I JUST HAVE TO SAY, YOUR MAN BOOBS ARE SERIOUSLY IMPRESSIVE AND YOU SHOULD BE VERY PROUD.” YES HANA I WAS JUST GOING TO SAY. HOW ASTUTE OF YOU TO POINT THAT OUT. BOY HAS BEEN HITTING THAT BOWFLEX

WTAF IS HIS HAIR THOUGH SERIOUSLY??!

IS IT JUST ME OR IS THIS DIALOGUE BUBBLE ACTUALLY COMING FROM THE HAIR ITSELF. TOMURA. TOMURA BLINK TWICE IF YOU ARE IN DANGER

SJJKJSKJSW

TENKO IT’S ME YOUR GIANT MOM I’M BEHIND YOU HONEY TURN AROUND AND LOOK HELLO HI I LOVE YOU DO YOU STILL WANT TO BE A HERO

ffff why is he so pretty all the time lately

you are very handsome with your billowy hair and ken doll abs, you. sure are having a lot of trippy visions for a dead guy too there

HEY!!!!

WHO SAID YOU WERE ALLOWED -- DO YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST -- ffffffffff I need to be alone with my thoughts for a few minutes fuck

okay well. but since it is getting late I guess we’ll just pack these feelings up real quick and put them inside a box and neatly label it “feelings I have about Tomura having a vision of his mom and immediately turning back into his innocent little boy self in said vision as soon as he sees her.” not too sure about the contents of this box yet but I will have to explore them thoroughly at a later date

oh hey it’s this asshole

“THAT WAS TWENTY YEARS AGO, DAD.” jesus Kotaro. get over it

and also guess what, if you go and get Tomura all riled up so he wakes up grumpy and disintegrates the first hapless guy he sees, I will hold you solely responsible for that poor man’s death. I’m just warning you now

oh my

I remember this conversation going a bit differently the last time, but hey

LOOOOOOL

HIGH FIVE. PUT ‘ER THERE

WHY WOULD YOU LOOK SO SURPRISED LOL DID YOU NOT JUST TURN TOWARDS HIM WITH A SINISTER MURDER FACE LIKE TWO SECONDS AGO. LIKE WTF DID YOU THINK WAS GONNA HAPPEN

OH NO OH SHIT

FUCK ME, GUESS IT WOULDN’T BE A DRAMATIC BNHA DREAM SEQUENCE IF THIS ASSHOLE DIDN’T MAKE AN APPEARANCE AT SOME POINT OR OTHER NOW WOULD IT

-- HOLY SHIT?!

RECORD SCRATCH, FREEZE FRAME??

holy shit. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit. holy shit

holy shit. fuck

...okay so

is this implying that AFO has been Noumufied? but that doesn’t make any sense, does it? he already had multiple quirks. what other advantages could there be to him becoming a Noumu. well whatever I’m just typing out all of my thoughts real fast for the time being and I’ll try to make sense of them later

or is it because he sees Kurogiri as a father figure? and AFO also?

or is he using Kurogiri’s quirk????? IS HE SOMEHOW WARPING INTO TOMURA’S DREAMS

because that third one, to me, is what this panel most looks like? Tomura says he looks like Kuro, but he doesn’t though. Kuro has a very distinctive face which this is very much lacking. instead it looks to me much more like one of Kurogiri’s portals, with AFO’s buddhaesque smile sticking out. so yeah. I got nothin’. except, again, fuck

(ETA: yeah I obviously have more thoughts about this now, but we’ll get to those in a bit.)

...

.......

-- !!!!!!!!!!LKJLK!JLKJ

oh shit oh shit oh shit 

OH SHIT

NO BABY NO DON’T DO IT

GASP

THEY’RE TRYING TO SAVE HIM AHHHH

I HAVE LIKE TEN THOUSAND THOUGHTS IN MY BRAIN RIGHT NOW YET SOMEHOW MY MIND IS ALSO STRANGELY BLANK?? I DON’T EVEN KNOW?? I’LL JUST KEEP READING

KOTARO ARE YOU TRYING TO HELP HIM OR ARE YOU PULLING HIM TOWARD AFO??

OH HE’S PUSHING HIM BACK!! OH SHIT IT’S A WHOLE FAMILY EFFORT

THEY’RE TRYING TO SAVE HIM AFO IS GOING TO TAKE HIM OVER AND THEY’RE TRYING TO PROTECT HIM OH GOD OH JESUS

BABY TENKO EYES OH MY GOD HE LOOKS SO MUCH LIKE DEKU THAT I THOUGHT IT WAS DEKU FOR A MOMENT

NO TENKO!!!

FUCK -- DOES HE NOT CARE? HE ACTUALLY UNDERSTANDS WHAT’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN BUT HE DOESN’T CARE?? IS HE TRULY SO PROFOUNDLY MISERABLE THAT HE’D GO AHEAD AND ACCEPT THIS FATE WILLINGLY

NO SOUNDS. NO WORDS. YOU COULD HEAR A PIN DROP IN MY ROOM RIGHT NOW

except that I have the most incredible, chilling, disturbing, electrifying feeling that my mental soundtrack is about to start blaring AFO’s theme from the anime on full blast...!

LOOOOOL SOB OH FUCKK

THE MOST TERRIFYING, DRAMATIC KIP UP YOU’VE EVER SEEN IN YOUR LIFE!! THIS IS IT, IT’S BEEN REAL FRIENDS, THIS IS WHERE WE DIE

-- ARE YOU REALLY, TRULY, GENUINELY SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW

NOW OF ALL TIMES IS WHEN WE FINALLY CUT TO THE TRIO, I’M CAN’T, I’M FUCK

AND THAT’S THE END AHHHHH

holy shit holy shit holy shit. wow

okay so. I don’t really have any sort of neat and tidy way to wrap up this hot mess of a recap lol. so, just... have a whole mess of all of my stupid whirling thoughts

those first four pages really did nothing to brace me at all lol

okay, so. here’s my understanding of all this, I guess. basically we’re going full Harry Potter rules here. AFO horcruxed his quirk, and from the looks of it, a piece of his soul (perhaps even the main piece) along with it. he then passed it on to Ujiko to implant into Tomura

horcrux!AFO then wakes up, and takes over Tomura. so then my understanding is that he’s going to be possessed by him. and I also got the impression that he’s fully aware of that, but just doesn’t care at this point. he knew his family was trying to warn him, but he didn’t care. and that look in his eyes when he disintegrated them just seemed so fucking resigned to me, though. jesus

but now the more interesting thing! so we can liken Tomura to the resurrected Voldemort from book 5 and onward, reborn after transferring his power into a new vessel. which would go a long way toward explaining how AFO was able to sense what was happening from all the way in Tartarus; because if we liken it to Voldemort and his horcruxes, it would mean that he still has a connection to them (similar to the connection between Voldemort’s mind and Harry’s)

but so now comes the really interesting thing -- what does this then imply about the connection between AFO and Deku? because you’ll recall that AFO alluded to a similar mental connection back when Deku first activated SIXQUIRKS. and now we have Deku somehow being magically aware of AFO’s sudden resurgent presence in this chapter. but why?? if the reason AFO and Tomura share a psychic link is because of a shared quirk, why would Deku also be experiencing the same link? the answer is, he wouldn’t -- unless he, too, had the same shared quirk

in other words, I think All for One for All is fucking confirmed you guys. I can’t think of any explanation for this other than that OFA is also a horcrux quirk. a little piece of AFO broken off and embedded in his brother, and then passed along through the generations. and now residing within Deku

anyway. so that’s a hell of a lot to ponder lol. I guess we can at least be grateful for the fact that we’re not waiting two weeks for chapter 271 like Hori originally planned. can you fucking imagine. what a fucking asshole lol

[inkmemes]

nbc’s  hannibal ( 2013 - 2015 )  pt  1 ↪  req’d  by  anon.  s01e01 - s01e06.  alter  as  you  see  fit.  trigger  warnings  for  death,  gore,  sexual  themes

“he will die watching me take what is his away from him.”

“i can empathise with anybody.”

“can i borrow your imagination?”

“he’s like willy wonka.”

“the amount of detail is incredible.”

“i would apologise for my analytical ambush, but i know i will soon be apologising again and you'll tire of that eventually, - so i have to consider using apologies sparingly.”

“could be a permanent installation in your evil minds museum.”

“i've fantasised about scenarios where my actions may have allowed a different fate for [name].”

“what is that? i bet it’s marijuana.”

“i got stabbed in the third grade with a number two pencil. thought i was gonna get lead poisoning.”

“i'm very supportive of bake-offs.”

“i don't feel sorry for myself at all. i feel, um i-i i feel, um good.”

“i guessed your size, so anything you don't want, leave the tags on, i'll bring it back.”

“i'm gonna be messed up, aren't i? i'm worried about nightmares.”

“i was sort of expecting a body outline in chalk or tape.”

“i'll tell you if i saw him if you tell me why it's important.”

“your victimhood has a high profile.”

“i never connected to the concept.”

“the family you think is family, is just a stepping stone to real family.”

“thirteen-year-old milk carton material.”

“have you ever tried psilocybin? ‘mushrooms’?”

“i want to give you your power back.”

“a paradox in the midst of a normal family: he's an outsider who doesn't look like one.”

“well, i don't think you're gonna go home for a long time.”

“as someone who makes such a big deal about common courtesy, i’m a little taken aback.”

“think it's too late for us to have kids?”

“at night i leave the lights on in my little house, and walk across the flat fields. when i look back from a distance the house is like a boat on the sea.”

“i had two fingers of whiskey before i went to bed.”

“vikings used to execute christians by breaking their ribs, bending them back, and draping the lungs over them to resemble wings. ttey used to call it a ‘blood eagle’.”

“your perfume is exquisite.”

“even a drunk with a flair for the dramatic can convince himself he's god.”

“supplication is the most common form of prayer.”

“so can we have a conversation, or do you want to pretend that everything's alright?”

“you know something - i'm very good at sorting things out, and at the very least i can underwhelm you while you're being overwhelmed.”

“i won't insult you by asking if there's someone else.”

“my ears rang like the first time I heard my mom use the f-word.”

“i figured you'd be here.”

“it's your fight, baby, but i'm in your corner.”

“i thought if i kept it to myself, our lives wouldn't change.”

“you don't have to say a word until you're ready, but i'm not going anywhere until you do.”

“i cannot help feeling responsible myself for what happened.”

“i'm assuming that you're familiar with the chesapeake ripper?”

“how wonderful to see you again.”

“um, i was just, uh, in the neighbourhood.”

“you look like you were dreaming.”

“so, are you enjoying reading my mail?”

“[name] would you care to assist me with dessert?”

“it can sometimes be brave to allow yourself hope.”

“i believe the world is a better place with [name] in it.”

“if you'll wait here, i'll be right back.”

[toloveawarlord]

Love and Lust (Ch. 1)

You can find my masterlist in my bio!

Pairing: Asmo x Verena

Tagging: @plumpblueberry​ @youreawizardharr​ @gay-noodle-clan​ @starry-starry-night24​

Warnings: This series is 18+ as it contains a lot of sexual content. This chapter contains no smut but a lot of sexual tension and discussion!

A/N: Asmo takes care of his little lamb. Basically a story about a succubus who admires Asmo but is shy and awkward when it comes to her sexual life. She gains confidence through her relationship with Asmo, as well as learning to love herself and have self care!

Being in the human world did not live up to the stories told throughout Devildom. Many tales of plethora of vitality waiting for any brave enough to cross into the realm. Humans were a delicacy that few had ventured to consume.

Nothing about this lived up to the expectations.

The young succubus pressed against the rough brick wall of the darkened alleyway, scratching into her barred skin. Chilly air bringing trails of goosebumps as a shiver tingled down her body. Winter a season not present in Devildom, the icy air enough to make her eyes water.

She was dressed incredibly inappropriately for late December. Skirt short as could be, brushing a mere inch away from revealing the crimson lace panties over her ass. Cropped top covering as little skin as possible and revealing her to be without a bra.

Her nose scrunched up at the sickening stench of cigarette smoke erupting like dragon’s fire from the rotting mouth of the drunken man hovering much too close to her. It should be second nature to pick on his arousal and twisting into a sexual encounter resulting in absorbing vitality.

An experience most foreign to her.

“Dressed like that, I’d say you’re asking for some adult fun. Ya gotta be, what, eighteen or nineteen?” Grimy features of a man not cleaned in days. Glazed eyes from one too many drinks. “Come on, give me a smile.”

Verena flinched as calloused fingers stroked sloppily against her cheek and his other hand settled under her skit on her ass, giving a shameless squeeze. Her powers should have taken over to release pheromones to charm him into doing as she wanted. The only thing radiating from her was fear.

The wind howled down the alley, announcing the arrival of the silhouetted figure at the entrance. A beautifully frightful sight. Wings and horns barred for the sole purpose of striking terror into the human so intoxicated that he wouldn’t remember it in the morning.

“W-What the hell?” The man stumbled over his feet in order to escape with his life.

As for the succubus, she wished to melt through the wall, mortified that she’d been caught.

“Ah, my lost little lamb.”

That voice. Her favorite one in the entire kingdom.

Violet eyes peeked up from under dark lashes for a chance to catch of glimpse of his beautiful features. “L-lord Asmodeus...” Her voice timid. She knew that she’d broken the law by coming to the human world without permission.

Asmo came to her, wings and horns disappearing as the sliver of moonlight slid over his form. Delicate fingers traced the spot on her pink tinted cheek where the human touched her, as if erasing filth from a precious treasure. “Are you hurt, Verena?”

“No, I’m alright,” She answered nearly breathless. Her nature called for her to crave affection, yet she never liked anyone’s but his, starved for it. Verena struggled in her classes, struggled to find her way through her emotions and powers.

A meeting, the highest-ranking demon among all incubus and succubus had requested to a private chat with her, the worst succubus in Devildom history. He’d been kind to her, offered words of praise and encouragement. The first she’d ever heard. No matter how hard she’d tried, no other had brought out her charm.

Verena leaned into his touch, soaking it up for as long as it would last. Violet irises lifted at last to find deep golden one gazing at her with only love and concern, no malice or anger.

“Good.” Asmo slid his finger under her jaw to her chin, tilting her face upward. His lips brushed against hers that parted all too easily as an invitation. “My poor little lamb, so deprived of vitality. Come now, we’ll collect your things and I’ll return you to Devildom where you belong.”

Devildom.

“I can’t go back.” The words bidden from her lips without her will. Lost in his golden eyes, unable to lie even a little Verena bit down on her lip. Going back would only harm the last bit of her soul.

As if he could read her most intimate thoughts, Asmo gave a gentle smile and nodded his head. “Let’s discuss this out of this cold, you’re absolutely frigid. It’s not good for your skin.” He tugged at her invisible strings of obedience like an expert puppeteer.

Returning to her apartment was blurred.

All her focus on how his fingers dug into her hip with his arm protectively around her waist.

“Now, over here.” Asmo tightened his hold to keep her close. Gracefully sitting on her couch, he easily pulled her down onto his lap facing him. He wanted to see each and every expression that would cross her face. “The human world is much too dangerous for you, my pet. Has anyone forced a contract on you? Be honest.”

Her head shook, palms firmly against his chest to maintain a distance but the feeling of his broad chest beneath his shirt made her want to touch him more. “No. Who would want to.”

The succubus underwhelming in every aspect. The picturesque creature ample in their breasts, curves defined all around, and long goddess legs, but not Verena. She was tiny, not even hitting the five-foot mark. Small in every sense of the word. Not the kind fantasized by others.

Lashes dragged against her cheeks as a haze fell over her, weak from the lack of vitality.

“You will take vitality from me tonight. I will not hear any protests.” Tilting his head to capture her lips in a tender kiss, he slid a hand up to the nape of her neck, holding him to her.

“Please-”

Asmo hummed into her mouth, completely in tune to each movement her body made in response. The way her fingers desperately clung to the material of his shirt, hips gently rolling against his. No charm necessary to get her to want him, the craving evident.

Yet, part of her fought it. 

The reason unclear. Succubus were made to embrace intimacy. They needed it, like a part of them was missing without it. Vitality more necessary than food. Verena was incredibly weak.

“When was the last time you received vitality?” The question given between breathtaking kisses. She would need air to speak so Asmo moved down her jaw to her neck, tongue tracing over a sensitive spot. He relished the jerk of her body and the sweet moan she failed to cover up.

Verena could hardly catch her breath. Every brush of his fingers against her back sent a shiver up her spine. Never had anyone made her feel so intensely. Her gaze fell away the second his rose to hers.

Something in her avoidance did not sit well with him. “Tell me, Verena. How long has it been?” A soft, nearly inaudible gasp escaped from her lips when he sucked on the tender spot on her neck. “Answer me, lamb, or I’ll have to punish you.”

Her hips bucked forward, as if hearing the word punishment turned her on even more. Any touch from him welcomed and desperately wanted. But as commanded, she gave him an answer. “Never.”

Asmo paused his assault at that one word. “That’s impossible. You couldn’t have survived this long without it.” She’d be withered, barely the shell of a person without vitality.

“I... take the supplements.”

The ones made for children, until they are old enough.

Not meant to be taken long term.

Many things crossed his mind, questions stacking on top of questions. All would have to wait. Asmo noted how out of it she was, and how she wanted him. “That won’t do at all. I’ll simply have to teach you.” Tracing his thumb over her bottom lip. “There’s no need to be nervous, little lamb. You are in the most capable hands in all three realms.”

Verena knew how incredibly lucky she was to have his attention, his touch. “Lord Asmodeus, I-um-”

“No, no. All I want coming from these lips are those sweet, delicious sounds of pleasure.” Golden eyes were filled with delight. This was new, a succubus a completely blank canvas begging to be painted in his colors. Her mind lingered in a muddled state of uncertainty. “I’ve not used an ounce of my charm and yet you’re grinding your hips against mine, clinging to me tightly. You don’t want me to let you go.”

Her cheeks flushed red. It was like she had turned on autopilot, unable to stop her own body from wanting to drown in him. “Please... “

The word drenched in absolute urgency for more.

“Please what?” Asmo couldn’t let her off without a little punishment. At another time would he properly give one, but he wanted her first experience to be full of pleasure and nothing else. That would not stop him from teasing her. 

A soft whimper left her lips, violet irises searching his for the answer. “I...” Her chest rose and fell with heavy breaths. “I want...” Her head dropped, unable to look at him any longer. It was like staring at the sun, brilliantly bright and warm but dangerous for more than a few seconds. Verena’s heart would surely burst. Her cheeks burned with embarrassment, but she forced the sentence out, “I want you.”

Her voice bashful and shaky but full of resolve. She did want it, a brand-new experience. Never before had anyone brought out this part of her. She shied away from intimacy, yet with him, Verena craved him like a drug. Her body hot, begging to feel his bare skin against hers.

The tips of her ears were tinted red. Asmo couldn’t resist. He caught the soft, sensitive tip between his teeth, biting hard enough to cause a small amount of pain, and then immediately soothing it by lapping his tongue against the wound.

“Ah--” Her gasp of mingled pain and pleasure like the finest music.

How he wished to toy with her in this moment, to discover all the places most sensitive. In time, he told himself. First, she required a more tender experience to regain her strength. “You’ve far too much clothing on. Let’s remedy that. You’ll help me, won’t you?” His fingers already tugging at the zipper of her skirt to expose the crimson lace panties.

Verena responded with a breathless yes, pulling the crop top over her head and letting it fall to the floor behind her.

Asmo hooked his arm around her waist and twisted them to lay her on the couch. Her hips lifted as he pulled off the skirt and panties together, leaving her bare. His head tilted to the side, a small dilemma running through his mind. “This couch is much too small.” Asmo could make the couch work, but the bed would allow him more range. As he lifted her up, she lazily wrapped her legs and arms around him in response.

Asmo would take good care of his favorite little lamb, and after, return her to where she belonged. The human world would be cruel to her, use her and throw her away. He couldn’t bear to allow that to happen. It would be best for him to look after her, physically and mentally.

[snkpolls]

Snk Chapter 129 Poll Results

The chapter poll closed with 1387 responses. This month’s poll results were brought to you by /u/staraves, Crunchwrap, @momtaku, _Puppet_, @shifter-lines and Luna

Thank you to everyone for your support!

RATE THE CHAPTER

Satisfaction was up this month with 41% rating this chapter a 5. That’s a 10% increase over last month! Overall 84% rated chapter 129 as good (4) or great (5).

A really great chapter. The jeagerist are getting sliced because they are scared for their family while the alliance know that they need to prevent mass genocide. There are no villain in this (apart from Floch) just victims.

After the sluggish post-rumbling chapters, I'm glad we're picking up the pace and getting things done now!

Loved the character interactions, had good plot advancement and some beautiful panels! Best chapter this year 😁😁

So fucking good. Highlighted that violence isn’t unique to the warriors, and that the 104th squad have a capability for violence within them as well.

The chapter was definitely not worth the long ass wait

A really good action chapter! Lots of intense moments that were also complimented quite well with poetic moments that felt great payoffs for many of the characters

The chapters have been so forgettable lately and this was no different. I wanted better for Shadis and this suicide pact was not it.

So many critical character bonding moments! I love it!

The best chapter since 123, I expect something big will happen in Chapter 130 because it is the last of the volume.

  WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT?

It was no surprise to us that more than 40% of the fandom selected one of the Keith Shadis options as their favorite moment with “The Rise and Fall of the S.S Shadath” (22.6%) and “SHADIS THE CHADIS” (20.5%) nabbing the top two spots. The kiddos managed 3rd and 4th place with “Falco’s transformation” (12.2%) and “Gabi sniping Floch” (10.5%).

Seeing Shadis and Magath sacrificing for a greater good was the best part of this chapter.

Loved the floch speeches

It was nice to see the Yeagerists finally get decimated.

I always wanted to see interaction between Shadis and Magath. Late is better than never.

Action packed !

  WHO WAS THIS CHAPTER’S MVP?

Give it up for Shadis the Motherfucking Chadis! Keith Shadis was our overwhelming choice for chapter MVP with an even 50% the fandom selecting him. Magath (20.5%), Floch (7.2%) Falco (6.7%) and Gabi (6%) followed at a huge distance.

SHADIS THE MOTHERFUCKING CHADIS

MAGATH THE MOTHERFUCKING CHADATH

Why can't I vote for Magath *AND* Shadis for MPVs of the chapter??? It is cruel that you make me choose.

Shadis and Magath, the true MVPs of this chapter. (Gabi still sucks)

Gabi MVP for giving Flock another win to the prize: "Big Oof of the month"

Floch was the true MVP this chapter and I'm sure he's still alive.

Magath and Shadis MVP

  PRESS F FOR KEITH SHADIS. WHICH OF HIS FINAL MOMENTS WAS YOUR FAVORITE?

To the write-in below, I hear you. The pollsters  (*glares of staraves*)  were cruel this month in forcing this choice and deleting the “All of the Above” option. But when forced to choose, it was the mutual appreciation between the two men in their final moments that was our very favorite.

WHY THE FUCK CAN I ONLY PICK ONE ANSWER+???

holy shit what a chad

his suicide is overrated.

I was so touched that he watched his students and knew what he needed to do to help them.

A TRUE CHAD TO THE END, BUT WHY DID HE SACRIFICE HIMSELF?? WHY DID THEY HAVE BOMB THE SHIP W THEMSELVES IN IT???

  ANY ADDITIONAL COMMENTS ON SHADIS’ OVERALL LEGACY IN THE STORY? POSITIVE, NEGATIVE, ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF!

Shadis' end is amazing. He came from "i'm not special" to "one of the heroes who saved the world". It's great development, confirming the rhetoric "everyone is special".

CHADIS!!! RIP

Definitely one of the most underrated character, though I'm happy seeing him getting a lot recognition on the sub. His dialogue with Carla about Eren needing to be special or not has to be one of my favorite part of SNK.

Dislike him. He sees how his recruits were forced to become Jaegerists yet slices and blows them up as if it was nothing.

He always thought of himself as a bystander but in reality he shaped and trained all the 104th kids. If they manage to save the world, it will be hugely thanks to his training.

Keith Shadis is a prime example of Isayama's dedicated effort to give meaningful characterisation to every character and tie it into the story's core themes.

He was a bittersweet hero. Definitely not just a bystander.

He was a fucking legend

I loved it. Every part of it. The fact that he always considered himself to be a bystander only to die a hero in the end was such a good arc, and believable. I'm gonna miss the Chadis. F.

I relate (not to the heroic suicide part, just the bystander stuff)

I respect him

I still can't really get why he did this tbh

He was far from perfect, which made him one of the most relatable characters in the series - so sad to see him go 😓😓

He was my favorite minor character

He was truly worthy of being called a hero at the end along with Magath. They died so their kids could live and save the world!

Him wearing his scout uniform once more going on a death mission was a touching detail

his death was absolutely beautiful, he was sure enough of himself to not need "being a hero" as his motivation and his final act of sacrifice made such a difference after all. Beautiful character arc here, I wasn't very bummed out when I first read the chapter but the more I think about it the more I grieve for him.

Honestly the train thing felt like a bit of an ass pull. I know a lot of people like having old characters back but he mostly just felt like a plot device.

I didn't like his latest development.

A bystander who became a traitor

I just didn't like the fact that he was paralleled with Magath. The only thing those two have in common is the fact that they are instructors, and Isayama milked that. Sure Shadis wasn't an angel, but at the very least he wasn't a fascist that was responsible for the Genocide that kick started this story.

I feel bad to Hange and the others didn't know that he was the one who blowing up the train to help them and the fact that he was with Magath.

I grew to like and appreciate Shadis, so this weird train explosion story and immediate suicide pact with Magath felt incredibly underwhelming, to say the least. So, he lived as a bystander and died as one thanks to no one else besides Magath knowing he was there? Cool stuff.

i guess i didnt expect such a death after he let himself get beat up for the sake of others, gonna miss him and maggath, i guess this simbolizes that the warriors and "stop" eren group is officially in charge

I hate how Shadis told the kids to join the Jaegerists for their own sake but then he turns on them.

I was ready for a long time to lose him, but it hurts nonetheless. Keith has always been the one who had a clear mind about his dream, his cause... Much more than Grisha or Eren, even when thinking that he had lost. He was a great icon in the series and he deserved his students' appreciation.

I hate that Isayama is just killing off the old guard like this 😞. Shadis genuinely cared about his students and he will be missed.

I hope he and Sasha share a potato in Heaven.

  NOW IT’S THEO MAGATH’S TURN. WHICH MOMENT GAVE YOU THE MOST DOKIS?

Awwwww… Magath’s wish for the warrior kids to have a happy life was the moment that most touched our hearts with just over 50% of the fandom selecting it. His decision to stay behind (18.4%) and the mutual appreciation between him and Shadis (16.4%) round out the top three selections.

I didn’t think he was going to die... it made me sad.

I thought his character would have more to do given his role as the military commander and political "moderate". Also, should have got shot so Shadis had a pressing reason to stay back and defend him while Magath set off the explosion.

RIP Shadis. Magath, you deserved what you got, you nazi bastard

GOVE ,E MMILTIBLR OPYIONS!21!!!!!

ОТЕЦ РОДНОЙ, НА КОГО ТЫ НАС ОСТАВИЛ?!!

  ANY ADDITIONAL COMMENTS ON MAGATH’S OVERALL LEGACY IN THE STORY? POSITIVE, NEGATIVE, ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF!

I found his character to be very compelling. He has already shown many instances of caring for the Warriors and the cadets during the Liberio Attack, but to see him gradually becoming conscious of that and completely changing his mindset was incredibly satisfying. A character I greatly enjoyed to see overall!

First I didn't like him that much. But this chapter make me like him more and more and then, he died. Thanks for making me suffer isym.

Followed the orders of his country, but couldn't bear the shame of his actions. Committed sudoku as a result. Deserves some respect as a true warrior and a patriot.

He really grew on me despite being such an unlikable character not too long ago, and it's sad to see him go. I'm glad to see the development he got recently.

He really grew on me without ever noticing it. I was actually sad about his death, and left with many questions.

He says he never wanted to do what he did but he had to follow the orders. This doesn't take away his responsibility at all, and it's not even completely true: he actively planned with Willy the latest invasion of Paradis.

He was a good man glad he went out with the Chad

He was a good man in the end: he realised he was in the wrong, swallowed his Marleyan pride and showed a sincere and humble side of him to the alliance. Then he tried to compensate for his previous wrong deeds by sacrificing his life and making himself useful to his allies one last time. I can really appreciate and respect that. And if you look at that panel of Gabi and Pieck looking like the most hurt at that exploded ship, then I think that means they too must've known that he was one of the better Marleyans.

He was a good man placed in a pretty awful situation. He and the kids would have been very happy in another world.

Him and hange are a great ship

He was alright

Dood's journey from literal Nazi racist to self-sacrifcing father of two was actually pretty heartwarming?

He was an imperfect commander in an imperfect world, but he still showed that he was just as human as his warriors.

he was annoying and cool.

I didn't care for him initially, and in ONE FUCKING CHAPTER, becomes a hero. Goddamn, fam.

It was awesome to see how far he came in such a short time and made it, at least for me, from a despicable character to a decent one with a human heart. Loved it how he protected his Warrior kids, how he went and helped Falco and his final wish kind of felt for me as if he was finally, in the last moments of his life, honest with himself and what he actually wanted and wishes for.

I  just really wish he had the time to say something of his wishes to the warriors.

I agree with the point that his mutual appreciation with Shadis is very important and beautiful sign of new era in eldian and marlian common history

I always wanted to see interaction between Shadis and Magath. Late is better than never.

I came to love and appreciate his character more than I ever thought.

I can't bring myself to hate him anymore. F for our MAGOAT

I did not like Magath and now I feel guilty about it because of the immediate rapport he had with Shadis.

Imagine thinking Magath is suddenly a good person because he sacrificed himself.

Isayama always tries to humanize his characters. I don't like Magath. He's a guy who stayed in the same path of sacrificing children while insulting them for their filthy blood for years despite questioning it (also the path of genocide). That's his legacy. It took him the apocalypse to actually reconsider. But I like how he died for the kids he cared for, I was hoping for exactly that. It makes "caring" substantial, at least/last.

killed hundreds of thousands of people

Looks like my old step-father, so I wasn't sad to see him go boom boom. lol

Madlad Magath

Magath has been an underrated character and gets too much hate

Magath hugging Gabi is peak Magath.

Great to see how the one person arguably most responsible for early problems in the series such as the wall breaches, was even able to admit his wrongs, atone, and do the right thing along with those he once attacked.

Him realising his errors and apologising was an outstanding character development moment. In the end, he did what he had to. Respects.

His acquired understanding of the Eldian's dilemma felt a little rushed, but nothing too bothersome. I wasn't a fan of him at first and he's still not my favorite, but his meeting with Shadis was still pretty cool to see.

Would have liked to know his backstory.

What are you doing Yeager???

  THE ALLIANCE’S JOURNEY IS NOW TAKING A DETOUR AS THEY DECIDE TO TRAVEL BY BOAT TO ODIHA WHERE THEY CAN PREPARE THE PLANE, WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS?

Close to 70% of the fandom trusts that this detour to Odiha will be something worthwhile with 33.9% excited to see more of the SnK world and 34.3% thinking there is going to be plot significance. Only 12.5% of us were unhappy with this development.

The boat trip was unexpected. Maybe they'll talk about who they've lost and risk losing (in Liberio), as well as what they're fighting for (is it the world or their families?).

I’m having trouble figuring how fast this Rumbling will be. Will they really have enough time to sail to another country/continent, then fly all the way to another country/continent and still be able to save most of the world?

I don’t like the idea of going to Odihu. I want to hit the main points (Eren’s POV, scars wrapping, Historia’s POV) & be done.

Only few chapters left but the Alliance faces more and more delays?

I want Gabi to headshot DinoEren from Odiha

  WHAT WILL BE THE STATE OF LIBERIO BY THE TIME THE ALLIANCE GETS TO IT?

We were reminded again this chapter of the speed at which the titans are travelling and how quickly they could decimate the continent of Marley.  When and if the Alliance reach the mainland, more than half of respondents (56.7%) believe Liberio will be in the midst of being destroyed, nearly a third of the fandom (31%) think Liberio will be completely destroyed by the time the Alliance arrives. A tiny (tiny!) group of fandom optimists (7.8%) believe Liberio will be fine.

PANCAKED!

It depends on what Erens plan actually is... I'm holding out hope he's not actually trying to annihilate the world 🤞

It LOOKS like it's completely destroyed, but there are still survivors!

It will be mostly destroyed, but some Eldians will have risen up and escaped

The colossal titans will have trampled everything BUT Liberio. Eren wants to get the mainland Eldians on his side.

We'll see the people from Liberio arriving to Odiha. We saw the rebellion starting there, and I have the feeling they'll be fleeing south.

Eren will do some cool shit but hopefully no genocide I would hate that ending

i dont think rumbling will happen. from a story telling pov it just doesnt make sense

They'll be fine for the sole reason I just can't see Annie's Dad dying before their reunion.

About to be trampled

I find it curious how we don't even get to see a glimpse of the Rumbling happening. Isayama is usually so good at "show, don't tell", yet the last 2 chapters have just been Hange estimating the progress of the Rumbling. I wonder if Isayama has a plan for that?

The alliance won’t arrive Liberio because by the time they arrived Odiha, the Colossal Titans will have already destroyed northern part of Marley and approaching Odiha, the place where the Alliance and Eren will fight.

I'm really not sure. On one hand I can trust Hanji's geographical expertise, on the other hand, where can the final battle take place, other from a symbolic place?

  ANNIE WORRIES THE CURRENT PLAN WON’T ALLOW HER TO REACH HER FATHER IN TIME. HOW WILL SHE REACT WHEN SHE LEARNS LIBERIO IS LIKELY DOOMED?

If Annie has to choose between the alliance and her father, the majority believe she’ll choose her dad. When asked how she’ll react if she learns Liberio is doomed, 51.4% believe at some point Annie will abandon the alliance to search for her father, 20.7% believe she will continue to help the alliance and 9.2% feel that her frustrations will boil over and she’ll take out her frustrations on the people she is travelling with.

god at least let Annie reunite with her dad

I’m hoping that Papa Leonhart lasts long enough to see Annie, and that’s all.

  ON A SCALE OF ONE TO FIVE, HOW MUCH DID YOU ENJOY SEEING ANNIE TEAM UP WITH REINER, INSTEAD OF BEATING THE GOBSHITE OUT OF HIM?

After years of Reiner suffering abuse at Annie’s hand, she’s finally willing to let the Paradisians take care of the daily whack-a-Reiner session. And the overwhelming majority of you seem to appreciate this character development.

  WHAT WAS THE BEST ANNIE AND REINER BATTLE MOMENT?

The teamup of the Armored Titan and the Female Titan was a highlight of this chapter, leading to many great moments, with Reiner protecting Annie as the voted favorite (44.1%). Coming in second was both of them being saved by Connie (26.1%), and the two Titans protecting the Azumabito snagged third place (11.1%).

Loved how Reiner protected Annie.

love how connie looks cool

i legit was afraid that the asian lady was gonna die while reiner and annie protected them, that was well drawn/written

  IF PARALLELS BETWEEN FLOCH AND ERWIN EXIST, WHAT IS THE MESSAGE THEY ARE TRYING TO CONVEY?

Many in the fandom have pointed out potential similarities between the characters of Floch and Erwin, but whether they are valid similarities and what exactly is the textual purpose of them is hotly debated. The majority of respondents believe that one way or another, the parallels cast doubt on any similarities between the two, with almost half (44.6%) pointing to Floch’s bastardisation of Erwin and 23.7% believing that he is trying to imitate the former commander, but that there is no message behind it. A quarter of respondents (25%) believe that the parallels are indeed drawing similarities between the two characters, and 6.7% of you aren’t too convinced the parallels even exist.

Erwin seriously impacted floch but thats about it I dont think he is conciously stealing he is just using the words that made him march to hell and back.

Erwin was way more than "sasageyo" line and his lost army the comparison between him and Flock is lame.

Floch and Erwin are complete opposites are we even reading the same manga??

Erwin was fighting for HUMANITY. Floch has information that Erwin never knew and is fighting for the renewal of the Eldian Empire.  I don't think it is reasonable to compare them in parallel based on this logic.

   WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT FALCO’S JAW TITAN?

Falco’s Titan makes its debut! It sure is something to behold – I guess Falco’s always wanted to fly. Wonder if he can now? The popular opinion at 46.6% is that he’s a weird looking guy but that we’ll probably grow to love his design. 33.6% already love it! 16.2% of you don’t know what the hell this thing is supposed to be right now, and a few of you were just scared. That must mean it’s doing its job! Little Falco may have lost control but his transformation helped turn the tide of battle, now that’s a real feather in his cap.

Love Falco’s Titan

We finally have Xenomorphs in AOT

Falco's titan is weird but unique.

Titan Falco’s mouth has a mouth. Wtf

his titans face made me annoyed. and the fur too.

Wait, did Falco just shift into a rooster? Just kidding, I love it. It's the only saving grace in this chapter. I hope it has a deeper meaning, too, other than just looking cool and being an element of surprise.

Unpopular opinion but Falcos jaws is overdesigned

Falco’s Jaw Titan, can’t wait for it to be animated

XENOMORPH TITAN

  FALCO'S TITAN IS BEASTLY, HAS TALONS, FUR, A BEAK, AND JUST OVERALL LOOKS DRAMATICALLY DIFFERENT AND PERHAPS EVEN LARGER THAN THE OTHER 4 JAW TITANS WE HAVE SEEN. WHY DO YOU THINK THIS IS?

This titan has more forms than a Dragon Ball character.  The Galliard brothers' forms were incredibly similar and the others weren’t far off base.  But Falco’s looks to be on a whole new level, why could this be?  The most popular view is that Isayama’s just flexing his creative muscles, and about a third of respondents think it’s Falco’s animal characteristics coming out.

He likes birds

A bit of Zeke’s spinal fluid and Yams being punny.

All of the above, and also because we've been hinted about a flying titan, which is obviously going to be this bird.

Falco always wanted to fly away like a bird

I think it’s because of Zeke but I’m also wondering if Jaw titans are more beastial than other titans in general

He say bird be free and now he bird uwu

does Zeke even know that Falco is the Jaw Titan?

Falco name, but also a Berserk reference

It matches Falcos true bird-like character and fighting for freedom

Funny how it was speculated Falco getting the Beast Titan and turning into an eagle titan, and now his Jaw Titan looks like a Birdman.

PATHS has subconsciously made falco's fursona a reality.

  THE JAW TITAN NOW HAS 5 TOTAL DESIGNS, MORE THAN ANY OTHER TITAN. WHICH ONE IS YOUR FAVORITE?

Hopping across the battlefield and from Shifter to Shifter, the Jaw Titan has come in the most forms out of all of the Nine Titans, but which one is the most popular? To probably no one’s surprise, Porco’s glorious lion-like form which made its debut in one of the most majestic Titan panels known to man took the top spot (69.5%). The hype of the recent chapter was enough to propel Falco’s bird-like form into second place (15.2%), with the presumably original Jaw Titan revealed in Ymir’s backstory coming in third (7.6%), narrowly followed by the OG (but technically not the actual OG) Ymir’s Jaw, and finally with the winner’s older brother coming in last (1.2%). Cheer up Marcel, you’ll probably get another flashback for your death soon.

The Jaw titan was one of my favourite designs but it's only now I'm realising it's definitely Porco's Jaw that was what I liked. Falco's might grow on me yet.

Why do Jaw titans have inner teeth the way they are? Shouldn't their purpose be the outer jaw/jaw muscles to crush?

I thought Falco's jaw titan was really badass and cool

All the Jaw Titans are actually great but I *had* to choose my girl Ymir's titan. Terrifying yet cuddly, and a lesbian disaster to boot. We stan <3

  WHO DO WE NEED TO START TAKING GUNS AWAY FROM?

This year’s chapters have caused many to realise that Gabi and Floch are two characters who just won’t stop shooting people, whether they be titans, prisoners, engineers or flying bird nests, so we decided to put the two head to head, once and for all deciding whose gun is getting confiscated. While it was close, the majority have decided that Floch is the one who needs his favorite toy taken away (58.6%) and not Gabi (41.4%).

Floch, I hate you >:( you are a bad person

Fuck Gabi, Floch is amazing.

Floch's failures make me laugh.

  ARE YOU HAPPY IT WAS GABI WHO GOT THE SHOT AT FLOCH?

This was one of our closer results this month but since it was a Gabi-centric question that is unsurprising. While previous polls have indicated hopes that Jean would be the one to take down Floch, it was Gabi this chapter who landed the first shot and the majority of respondents  (30.8%) were delighted with that. The next largest percentage (27.7%) didn’t care who the shooter was, they just want Floch dead.  The third most popular choice (23.1%) expressed disappointment that it wasn’t Jean. On the other end of the spectrum, 10.8% wish for Floch to live forever and 7.5% wanted it to be anyone besides Gabi.

Can't  believe Gabi did it again. Shot a Yeager and now the main Yeagerist, lol.

I wanted Jean to kill off Floch forreal, but I am happy with what we've got.

Gabi baby i'm so proud i never hated u lmao.

I'm sad for a bit because I expected huge hairbowl chapter. Hope it will be in the next chapter, Jean vs Floch dialogues are always interesting.

Floch deserved something worse than having the hope of saving the day stripped from him before getting shot by Gabi. I'm not mad that Gabi got the honour to shoot Floch, but I wanted it to be someone more satisfying.

Too many MVPs this chapter, but ultimately Gabs got my vote caused I cheered when I saw it was her who shot fucking Floch. Go Gabi!

  AFTER GETTING SHOT BY GABI, WHAT’S NEXT FOR FLOCH?

It’s been a popular view for a while now that Floch will die soon, and in this chapter he gave his final stand at the harbor.  Only 8.2% think it actually resulted in his death, with the most popular view being that he swam to the boat and clung on to cause even more mischief. A final final stand, if you will.

Floch is on/in the plane right now. He will ambush them soon.

I wish floch is confirmed dead

Floch should live

Floch will have a role in the coming chapters

Floch seemed really pathetic this chapter, but next chapter I feel he's going to kill at least one person, maybe a few, so that's scary.

It’s kind of dumb that we are conditioned to expect that Floch is still alive

I don't see the point of Floch killing someone next chapter when it could've been done in this one (with more weight to the battle) so I have no idea what's his role now.

I expect Floch to stay on the island and die there, with the Yeagerist movement coming to an end. Shadis left some of his students these wise words of when to fight back, and the time is nigh.

If Floch is still alive and he's on the alliance ship, then someone (who isn't a Titan shifter or an Ackerman) is going to die in the next chapter.

THIS CHAPTER GAVE US ANOTHER ICONIC PANEL, THIS TIME HIGHLIGHTING THE NECESSITY TO HELP EACH OTHER OUT. WHICH DYNAMIC FROM THIS PANEL IS YOUR FAVORITE?

Former friends as well as foes helping each other stumble off the battlefield makes for a great and emotional panel.  Just over half of you were most happy with Mikasa and Annie front and center (52.2%) after being famous rivals.  Reiner’s bros helping him was also very popular (31.2%).

MIKAANI RIGHTS!!1!11!1! - hajime isayama, 2020

mikasa helping annie was cool because they have like the biggest rivalry against each other so it's cool to see them help each other

I loved seeing all the characters backing each other up.

I'm not sure why the poll makers are pointing the group panel as something positive. Don't you know these people tried to kill each other just last week in their world?

  WHAT DID YOU THINK OF MAGATH AND SHADIS’ SACRIFICIAL SUICIDE PACT?

Let’s pour one out for CHADIS and MAGOAT, may they rest in PATHS. The duo’s sacrifice came out of nowhere but didn’t hurt any less, and 53.9% of you thought it was a fitting conclusion for both. 14.6% were just happy that they got to meet at all, fleeting as it was. 9.6% thought it was a great ending for Magath but were despondent over Shadis’ fate, and 9.2% vice versa. 8.6% thought the sudden loss of both was completely unnecessary. In any case, the star-crossed bromance was too explosive to last – may they continue to yell at Jaegers from the great beyond.

*ugly cries for Shadis and Magath*

I’m happy they were able to meet and I like the dynamic and parallels between them. They met a sad end but just like Porco they got to go out on their own terms. They’ll be greatly missed and appreciated.

Loved how both he and Shadis went out in a blaze of glory while reflecting on how proud they were of their students. Especially Magath realizing he wished for them to live normal lives.

That was a curveball I didn't expect at all and I was in denial when I read it and a few minutes afterwards. I was so hoping both of them would get to continue helping their protegees out with experience and all that. But I'm glad they got to meet. It felt like both of them needed that.

I would have preferred them to blow up the ship without them in it and then deciding to have a Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid kind of ending, but utlimately, it works. They were dead either way, sinking that ship was gonna take more than a few thunder spears, they needed to ensure the Yeagerists couldn't catch up, and so, it works.

if either of them were injured and needed help to set up the explosion/defend the one setting it up, this would make a better sacrifice for both.

Shagath would've brought world peace. That's why they had to go

I understand the sacrifice and that maybe no one else had the guts to do the same, but Magath is such a capable leader and it feels like he perhaps wasted himself at the end there a little?

Both characters went out in a blaze of glory, Shadis helped derail the reinforcements and Magath was able to get Falco to safety before he did too much damage. Shadis saw this as a way to repay the debt of all those he lost while he was commander of the survey corp and Magath saw this as his way of sacrifice for what he has done to every Warrior.

It was satisfying to see Shadis do this, but I think Magath's change of heart happened too quickly for it to be satisfying for him

It wasn't a great ending and Chadis didn't have to die there

It wasn't necessary but not a bad ending for them.

It's Beyond the Wall from Game of Thrones again. Let's have a character absent for some time jump in, save the alliance by blowing up a train and die immediately. I hated that episode and I have mixed feelings about noone getting shot and having Shadis sacrificing himself.

It's certainly a meaningful way to die, but I regret all old characters are dying. If none of them will remain then who will lend their experience to new generations? IDK what is the message here, but surely resolutions for old characters are way more satisfying than for 104th and some other newer members of the cast (with exception of the children, they're handled the best).

It’s a good and sad conclusion for both, but I feel like we still need Magath cause he is the only Marlayan that is working with Eldians

It’s an ending on par with Erwin’s. They sacrificed themselves so the next generation can live to give their lives meaning, and to repay for the mountain of bodies they left behind. I hope the Kings shall meet in the afterlife

Kinda cheesy imo and also kind of rushing the end for shadis I feel

Like I said above, the sacrifice was rushed. It's a potentially great sendoff for both characters which is lessened by the breakneck pace the series is going.

sorry but it was really cheese, i hated the fact that shadis told the reclutes to join the jaegaergist but then he killed them on train

Not that fitting for Shadis but Isayama is definitely aiming for all the leaders alive here

Magath is probably one of the only people who could have been able to bring some sort of cooperation between Eldia and Marley, but I was satisfied with his sacrifice and how they met, its like they both gave closure to each others arcane

I like Shadis and didn’t care for Magarth yet I was still wondering why. I get it’s a shounen-esque story but even in Naruto the older generations played a role. Here they’re only good for sacrificing themselves (Pieck could have done it and survived the explosion)

I haven't finished a chapter in SnK in a long while that made me FEEL as much as this one did. And it's all thanks to the duo of Magath and Shadis. Honestly even though I can say I was never the biggest Magath fan, he really started to grow on me in the past 3 chapters. I never thought I would actually feel the burden of his sacrifice in my chest. He has my respect. I'll really miss him.

Keith and Magath are feasting together in Valhalla now.

  NOW THAT MAGATH IS GONE, MANY HAVE POINTED OUT THIS MAY LIMIT THE HOPE OF PARADIS HAVING DIPLOMATIC RELATIONS WITH THE WORLD. WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON THIS?

Magath’s death wasn’t just emotional, but could have a big impact on the ending.  Respondents were pretty split on this question, but the most popular view was that Paradis will still pull through and find a path to peace.  The next most popular view at about 30% is that Paradis never had a chance even with Magath.  18.5% think Paradis’ hopes for peace did indeed blow up along with Magath.

Fuck who is gonna vouch for the PARÁDISIans now?1

Would’ve liked to see him survive to become a Paradis advocate

Magath was the most important person in Marley and the only person who could help to make some kind of peace between Paradis and the world. And now he just... decided to commit sacrifical suicide? C'mon!!! He was too important. Now I don't keep big hopes for peaceful ending anymore.

Who tf is going to reason with Marley nowthat Magath is gone. Paradis is even more fucked, not that they had any chance of having diplomatic relations with the world before....

I say that without Magath diplomacy is doomed, but they will probably use the Kiyomi card and Onyonkopon card along with the "humans for the rights of eldians showed some ch ago" card

With him dead, it seems that Paradis doesn't have anyone with sufficient standing throughout the rest of the world to prevent them from wiping out Paradis for sufficient time

He screwed up, he needed to stay alive to spare Paradis if the Alliance won, the honorary marleyns can't do that.

  MOST INSPIRING QUOTE?

It wouldn’t be shounen without inspiring quotes, and we don’t have a shortage of them this chapter! A strong majority of you, clocking in at 42.6%, thought General Magath’s line about wishing “those kids could’ve lived a normal life” was most inspiring. Almost exactly tied (though the percentages might be deceiving, red has one less vote than blue), are Floch’s line about the fate of Paradis if Eren is stopped, and the Jean/Mikasa duo-quote about hesitation. Trailing a few points behind is Shadis’ “I’m proud of you” moment, and in last place was Floch’s “Eldia will be saved by me!”.

  DO YOU THINK CERTAIN CHARACTERS HAD TOO MUCH PLOT ARMOR THIS CHAPTER?

With a big battle going on, did the appropriate amount of characters survive?  The vast majority (46%) don’t care about numbers alive as long as the battle is well written.  22% believe the alliance does have too much plot armor, and 15.3% retort with the idea that everyone has plot armor.  About 10% think Floch should have died by now and has taken all the plot armor.  7% don’t think anyone has plot armor, it’s a cruel cruel world indeed.

Feel like most of the plot armour people are feeling about this chapter is simply because none of the soldiers are taught how to wield the gun 3DM gear.

Too much unnecessary plot armor for the alliance .

The plot armor was beyond stupid with the Yeagerists turning into Stormtroopers

the plot armor is to thicc in this chapter,at least some of Kiyomi's men should have died.

  DESCRIBE THIS CHAPTER IN 1 WORD.

Here are the top 5 descriptions of the chapter chosen by you, the fandom. You can find the average score for the groups between brackets. The average score for the chapter this month was 4.21 for comparison.

Amazing [4.84]

Great [4.62]

Awesome [4.67]

Epic [4.81]

Intense (shared 4th place) [4.5]

Honorable mention: Chadis

Also shout-out to the folks who were compiling a recipe. Seems to be lacking some carbs though. What cookbook were you guys reading this month?

BEANS

Paprika

goat

Nutty

Yummy

  ISAYAMA RECENTLY SAID IN AN INTERVIEW THAT THERE IS ONLY 5% OF THE STORY TO GO. HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS?

We’ve known for a while that we’re in the final arc, but now we have confirmation we’re really reallyyyyyyy close to the end.  About 42% of readers expected it to end right about then anyways, while 28.8% think it’ll end up going longer, as Isayama’s extended past his percentages in the past.  19.4% are worried how the story will be wrapped up in that time.

A little worried, but I trust in Isayama.

AAAAAAAAAAAAH

AOT has been in my life since 2013 and is pretty much the last bit of my childhood still going. Of course I'm sad it's ending, but I'd rather it end than go on forever like the walking dead and so on.

As long as the ending is written well it doesn’t matter to me

Since I'm extremely new to SnK, I can't say anything about Isayama's writing habits and all that, but speaking as a fellow writer, I could see that he might underestimate the story that's left, though not by much. I'm also kind of worried that it might be a bit too soon but then again, SnK always has long chapters, so it might work out just fine.

The truth is sad to know that it is over, since I took a lot of love, but I know that the end will be amazing

I just want him to stick the landing, the amount of chapters left is not important.

I need Isayama to make more chapters so we can keep getting Podcast episodes of You Hear Big Girls

I can't believe how close we are to the end. I just know it's gonna get crazier from here on.

I expected this, but the closer we get the more clear it is that he needs to take more time to properly resolve arcs than he seems to want to.

I feel like we're gonna get a rushed ending and loose ends either ignored or tied up as throwaways

I feel that the story is going to end in an abrupt yet succinct way.

I have faith in Isayama no matter what he plans to do with the story.

But WHERE does Historia fit into that 5%

honestly a little more than expected

I DONT KNOW WHAT TO DO ONCE SNK ENDS HELP ME

  WHAT ARE YOU MOST HOPING TO SEE NEXT CHAPTER?

Absolutely dominating this question is the desire to see Eren’s POV (as usual), with 40.9% of the vote. Trailing quite behind at just under 16% is Historia, then.. uh. death and destruction, apparently. After that it gets pretty close, with Floch’s last stand trailing less than half a percentage point behind Zeke (who trails behind death and destruction). After Floch’s last stand, we have the desire to see an epic, carefree adventure on the ocean, followed lastly by Hizuru’s base.

Somethings up. We still haven't seen Eren's point of view, and there's dedinately a reason for it.

Nice!  Now give me family bonding on the ship plz Isayama

Next chapters gonna be pretty cool imo, but the community will call it another "aLlIaNcE fIlLeR cHaPtEr"

Eren Eren Eren Eren Eren Eren Eren Eren Eren Eren

Enjoyed seeing Floch finally getting hurt, his luck needed to end. I'm sure he's alive and in the ship, and I'm totally sure he'll take away someone's life in the next chapter. But please, Yams... Floch must die.

HISTORIA AND EREN POV

HISTORIA WHEN

I'm pretty sure the next chapter will take place on the ship, so I expect some good dialogue

I hope the boat setting will give enough time to address the untouched issues Isayama has been evading with those two groups interacting, mainly Levi and Annie. Or the Warriors acknowledging the massive sacrifices the Paradisean side is doing and stick up for them in a situation where they are successful.

when are we going to see História? She has been pregnant for too long.

  WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES?

Reddit once again T-poses on all the rest of the platforms, coming in at just over 40% of the responses. Twitter follows it with 16.5%, and is in turn followed by people who don’t discuss the series at all. Behind that is Discord with 10.3%, and Tumblr with 8.4%. It’s astonishing to me how much the demographics of this poll have changed. Tumblr used to compete with Reddit, and now it’s so low on the list that it’s the last one with a section big enough for Google Forms to include the percentage number on it. The responses with no visible percentages are, in this order: Real Life (90 votes), Instagram (28), Facebook (19), Youtube (16), 4chan (9), the Wiki (3), Snapchat (3), and Steam (2).

Snapchat had 3 people. That’s 0.2% of the vote. That’s one more than Steam and tied with the Wiki. I’m in perpetual disbelief that it gets any votes at all, and I remain convinced that it’s some sort of conspiracy of people who forgo discussing the series on any of the major platforms just to discuss it on snapchat with each other, specifically so they can screw with me when it comes time to write the poll blurbs. Or they’re just lying… much to think about……..

  ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE CHAPTER?

I just loved that the old 104th group despite what happened between them, how the people, the world, the history tore them apart is fighting together once again and protect each other like a big family

Calling it now, Zeke got vaporised in Eren's transformation.Still mad years later that freckle Ymir died the way she did and I choose to be mad because I was born into this world.

While it was an intense chapter that was exciting and sad I think it’ll move the story to the next stage in a really good way.

While the last few chapters were still really good, this one brought back the same unbridled hype I had when reading 116-123. We may debate cringevengers vs yeagerists, but I think we can all agree that this manga is still a fucking masterpiece.

Why does Isayama always crush all the good feelings you have during a chapter at the very end? The panel with all of them supporting each other was so powerful and heartwarming, not to mention seeing them all fighting together before and trying to reach the ship, and then Isayama just goes and kills Shadis and Magath. Freaking curveball at the end. RIP

I love gabi, BEST GIRL!!!

I love the alliance chapters and I'm not sorry at all!

Isayama as usual

Isayama, please, let Hange and Armin do something important before the ending, or their deaths

Isn’t 126 shit Tier writing but aren’t great either.Feels forced.

It felt a bit messy/clumsy at my first read, but at every reread it felt better, and I think the messy feel (compared to the smooth RtS arc) was deliberate.

Karl Fritz chapter soon

What a goddam pleasure to see yeagerists getting shot down, and what an extreme joy to see Floch's fans being overwhelmed by common sense from other fans

Where is Eren? We want Eren!

This was a good chapter. I really enjoyed it

Nearly all alliance members increased their kill count, except Levi, Yelena and Onyankopon. Gabi just shot Floch but we all know he isn't dead. They all sliced, decapitated, dismembered, crushed, shot people they once called comrades for some vague goal that might be completely meaningless, since, no one discussed any terms once Eren is stopped. And with Magath dead, they never will.

Kinda sad on how Armin's characters has been treated so far. Served as stair to Connie twice and now Isayama put him to sleep in the middle of the fight without any contribution at all... I'm a Armin stan and i'm bothered. Hope he gets some real shit soon.

After the Alliance noping out of Paradis, I wonder when they will return their homeland, and I think Floch is alive, but instead of sneaking onto the ship he will gather the Yeagerists to strengthen his control on Paradis, crowning himself as the King of New Eldian Empire. And more civil wars are on the way so stay tuned…

more mikasa pweeze

My old man once said "Alan Moore can't do endings," and I'm getting that vibe here, too--with everything that's come before, is there even a way to bring this story to a close that isn't too drawn out with answers to questions that didn't need asking, or a sudden cluttered mess wrapping as many subplots as it can in only two or three chapters at the expense of quality and feeling?

Need more shirtless Reiner

No matter what others may say, that was a great chapter. I loved the battle between the alliance and jeagerists. Few years ago, during the battle in Shiganshina they probably didn't even think about figting on one side with Reiner and Annie. I remember how they were trying to kill him and look where they are now. However, I get a feeling that after Magath's death there will be no hope for peace between Paradis and the rest of the world. I get a feeling that we may get full rumbling after all =/

no, its G O A T E D

Not a fan of the recent chapters. Feel like the story is telling me to root for the alliance, but I don't care about their goal and I'm with Eren 100%. I wish there were more characters in support of Eren and the rumbling. Floch and the yaegerists are great, but it's annoying that they are being painted as the evil bad-guys when their goals are noble. It's sad to see the main characters who've fought for their friends, families, and homes the entire series just completely disregard all of that and become willing to sacrifice it all for the rest of the world who hate them and want them dead.

Off topic: reiner is a snacc

One more month of no one having a solution to the actual problem other than agreeing that it’s a problem :/

The Survey Corps proved, once again, that they are not to be underestimated. They work seamlessly together and they respect one another.

The wait is torturous, but there's really no better way to be moving things along right now.

Theo Magath deserves a golden star for being amazing man till the end.

Why didn't the Yeagerists just Thunderspear the plane?

I’m sure I’m in the minority but the Titan fights are my least favorite parts of the story. So this chapter being largely comprised of them made it kind of meh to me. I feel like the plot is simultaneously going too fast and not fast enough. Chapters like this one make me very worried about how this will all end

floche: NNNOOO DON'T STEAL THE BOAT YOU'RE GONNA RUIN EVERYTHING HHHH

gabi: hehehe floche go boom

Hange's group are a bunch of hypocrites and traitors , hopefully they all die in the most grossume ways by Eren's hands .

I love Floch and the Yeagerists , they fought to the last breath for Eren , their home and people .

Keith is an idiot and died like an idiot .

I'm happy that Magath finally died hopefully the rest of the alliance are next .

i can't understand people defending Floch. You're siding with yeagerists ? Okay, but take Samuel, Daz or Louise as exemple, everyone except Floch. Floch was written to show the drift of patriotism. That is his goddam meaning. That what Isayama has been writing since Floch's reappearance. The same way Hanji embodies Survey Corps' values or Jean embodies the necessity to do the right thing. That are the writing purpose. Please, respect Isayama's work.

I love Attack on titan ❤️

I luv Floch

I MISS HISTORIA

I need Ackermans

Loved it, I'm enjoying all the time were getting with the alliance but I'm anxious to see what's going on with Zeke, Eren, & Historia.

overall pretty great! Gabi really needs to have her aimbot checked though :/

YAMS I’M STILL WAITING FOR PIECK TO ACKNOWLEDGE PORCO’S DEATH IN SOME WAY.

Where the fuck is Armin in that shot of everyone?

Floch is a great leader and the Jaegerists are not in the wrong.

I like koalas

you know my thoughts

Where's Eren

Where's Levi?

Wheres boriiiiis

i dont have any hope anymore i cant imagine them dead its too much for me damn u isayama

I genuinely loved it. I can't wait to see how it all ends.

I personally didn’t like it since it was the 6th alliance POV chapter in a row, and possibly the next two chapters will also be an alliance POV. I’m tired of the alliance and I don’t support their cause, so it’s kind of boring to read another alliance chapter after 6 months of alliance POVs.

I hate everything, why did Isayama had to take Magath away

I really liked that Isayama was still consistent with shifters not being able to control their titan the first couple times.

I really thought Armin was gonna help fight during the battle with his messed up zombie jaw, but instead he just kind of passed out and disappeared for most of the chapter. We're heading towards the end of the manga and I need to see more Armin scenes, I'm really rooting for him to be a key figure in talking to Eren/the general ending as a whole but as of now he's still just kind of useless.

I feel like that this chapter is foreshadowing the titan war. Remember in chapter 100 when the guy ( I can’t remember his name) said if Eren starts the rumbling, he will cause the titan war to start again. That might explain why Falco randomly attacked Pieck.

I remember Pixis telling Eren how he thinks about a story between mankind coming together against a powerful enemy, and Eren said it was rather optimist thinking that he doesn’t believe would truly work. He also mentions that they are hardly working together because difference in morals are to strong, they are not truly fighting together. But in the instance where Magath and Shadis were able to put aside their differences just so that their students may have a better future, shows that humanity can still exist, but unfortunately mainly when brought upon an unavoidable death which leads me to believe what will become of the alliance if they are forced into this position.

I hate the alliance so fuck it

I have no idea how this is gonna end.

I hope floch stays dead hes such a menace

I hope there’s a nice discussion next chapter

I hope this shit is over and we can have a better written material

Thought there was a bit too much plot armor ... especially with Gabi saving the day endlessly

I really hope we get back to focusing on multiple story lines in a single chapter, instead of following a single group. I wish we saw Shadis on his way to derail the train. I hope we get to see a group of Yeagerists in Shiganshina finding Zeke. Just give us a shot of the farm Historia is at. I'm really starting to miss the other story lines.

Ch130 Bert talk let's GOOOOOOOOO

Consistently good quality as expected from Isayama. I have faith he will continue releasing kino and stick the landing with the ending.

Cool, portrays the desperation of both the alliance and the Yeagerists

Could be better

Does the gang even KNOW that Shadis went boom along with Magath!?

I just hope Isayama gives Levi a death befitting a hero like he did with Shadis. I get AoT is not Levi’s story anymore but seeing him not being able to do anything really hurts. Even his own soldiers (besides the alliance) don’t respect him anymore, he doesn’t have anywhere to come back to. He probably won’t be able to kill Zeke (he never gets what he wants) but please let him die knowing he gave meaning to his comrades’ lives.

I wish Mikasa would be able to hate Eren at last. Still not happening 🤔

i wish we could have seen armin more— just my personal preference. i adore the man.

I wish we had the warriors' thoughts on Bertholdt but it wasn't the right moment at all. Maybe next chapter? I'd like them to mourn their comrade and friend. Hell annie and reiner spent lot of time with him reiner even had nightmares about him being removed from his titan. It feels so unsatisfying and frustrating. So great great chapter but please give a break to the warriors.

Great chapter. I was scared for our girl Pieck tho but glad to see her in action.

I wonder how Eren will react finding out how many have died in his name or against his cause. Shadis, Daz, so many Survey Corps peeps...

Good, but can we please get moving this plot along to eren/historia/zeke?

Goodbye, Shadis McChadis. You deserved a 200/10 exit, but you got a 7/10 instead. X'(

I don't care aobut anything else just show me eren

I don't care who you are just don't touch the Meme Queen! Goddamn Falco almost killed her.

I don't know

Levi being tied on Pieck and carried like a baby made me laugh so much

Glad that we're done with the port battle now

Levi is smol

Levi most likely left the alliance.

Levi so small

Levi still exists

Levi was cute

Leviiiiiiiiii

WELL SWEET MOTHER TERESA ON THE HOOD OF A MERCEDES-BENZ! YOU LOOK LIKE A BALD FUCKIN' EAGLE!

things make sense. The story is building as it goes, and Yams can’t go back an change it around. Eren POV is coming

Pieck didn't even try to stop Falco other than "noo don't go you're so young ahah" and that was pathetic. Having him die there would have been extremely effective and it would have been a great way to address the "random child inheritance" situation previously described

Please let the bastard really be dead.

PogChamp

Poor Annie. Dat powercreep.

Press F for Chadis

quite happy that floch seemingly survived, his speech kinda made me sympathetic towards him, shadis and magath were brilliant..rip

Really well drawn and very powerful ending.

So now everyone has left Paradis... do we have any other characters that can group up with Historia apart from Nicolo and the Brauses?

So sad the Bertalk has to be delayed but at least there's no option now. If the whole traitor parallel happens right after Jean finally gets to vent over Marco and they dont mention him once then... shit writing, everything is a coincidence and nothing is a parallel in this manga. Let Reiner be angry 2k20

Some good moments, sure, but PLEASE for the love of god can we cut to the chase now???

FLOCH GOAT. FUCK TRAITORS. SOMEONE BETTER GET FLOCH'S GLOCK.

Stop using our Eternal Commander Erwin for your fascist shit, Floch

Someone probably says that the chapter was rushed. However, I think Isayama has his plan, and he will put those flashbacks which you guys need soon, so don't worry about that :) I also want to know what happened to Historia and her baby while the league of SC and the Warriors was fighting in Marley. She plays an important role in the whole SnK plot, and before someone fortet her, we need our queen to come back.

Still cant take the alliance serious. They all acting out of character. Just hoping they will betray each other and the scouts will be on Erens side. Dont get why the alliance want to save people outside and for that Goal they slaughtering all their own people. That is also wrong like the genocid. It does not Matter, because killing is killing

Strong ending but I prefer dialogues over action. Also we saw nothing of Levi, he's being dragged around until he can meet up with Zeke, really convienient...

Surprisingly good

Every chapter that goes by without presenting a twist to this endgame makes me more and more anxious.

Annie looks very shocked to see people supporting her. Gabi can’t stop getting traumatised

ANY CHAPTER WHERE FLOCK GETS FUCKED IS A GOOD CHAPTER

armin suffered too much

I started to dislike AMJC. I understood why they opposed Eren (despite not thinking it through) but now they’re killing their own people to protect their “comrades” (who will cause trouble later because they want to kill Eren but Armin and Mikasa don’t). This for a small chance of maybe stopping Eren. If this had happened before he started his path of destruction I think I could understand, but now there’s no going back. Eren sealed the SoY’s fates in the eyes of the world. Hange and co had to realize the SoY would now be exterminated instead of enslaved because of the horror Eren unleashed, showing the world what just one SoY was capable of

I don't really have negative thoughts on the chapter other than Gabi shooting Floch, but if he survives then i'm fine. I just think the chapter was somewhat uninspired, the scenes between Magath and Shadis didn't hit the emotions they were supposed to with me.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN THE VOLUME ON THIS BUS IS ASTRONOMICAL

The dynamic between the Yaegerists and Alliance forces was really interesting and depressing to see. Floch's speech humanized them and they proved to be really dangerous by decimating Reiner and Annie.

The chapter was great, a lot of action, a lot of close calls. I really thought a lot of the characters like Annie, Reiner and Pieck were in trouble. I at least thought Pieck was going to die since she was in the jaws of Falco but she's fine so that's good. I wish Shadis didn't die so soon, but I guess Isayama is trying hard to wrap up loose ends before the end so I understand.

i dont want a sad ending.

was a nice chapter, it feels even better because it came after the extra long waiting time

I still don't like that AMCJ betrayed Paradis. All of their fights before with the Warriors were in vain and meaningless like this. Is this why so many of the SC died? Erwin and Bertholdt too. I don't hate them, but can't understand. Also, RIP the Yeagerists, it was a brutal massacre. F Chadis and Chadgath.

I still don’t see how they stop the rumbling so it’s likely they don’t do it but eren chooses to, talking could be underwhelming but if it’s future eren knowing this could lead to something that we don’t know yet and is the horrible thing grisha mentioned the rumbling or worse?

I think in this chapter alliance crossed the line and now they full of determination to end their job

I think it lacked armin or he was too deficient at the time.

Teenage go brrr and alliance has plot armor but thats expected they have roles to play like getting killed by eren

Thanks for the shout-out for our 'cockroach' fill-in last chap, it made our week!

The Alliance feels increasingly supported by the script.

The alliance needs to be dealt a blow or have some internal conflict other cab playground insults around stew.

The battle between the alliance and Floch & the Yeagerists is totally unfair .

The alliance had 4 titan shifters , 1 Ackerman , 3 skilled soldier and 1 skilled warrior in the battlefield .

Floch & The Yeagerists are not skilled soldiers but they proved their bravery and fought for Eren , their people and home to the last second .

This chapater was just a set up for what's to come so judging it harshly would be unfair

this chapter was emotional on all levels and we had some information about the rumbling. The alliance worked very well and Keith was a hero. He was a hero in the shadows and I am happy that he was able to meet Magath because it allowed us as readers to see these two commanders from a different angle. Keith and Magath had a lot in common and could have been friends under other circumstances. Their sacrifice was an excellent end to this penultimate battle. Now is the time for the last final battle!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #306

i’m v talkative today so pardon my jabbering below.

What is the strangest type of candy you have eaten? I think I've had one of those lollipops with a bug in it before as a kid? I don't remember. What would be your most ideal profession? A freelance photographer. But I'm honestly starting to lose hope. Have you tried those coloring books for adults? Yeah; it's funny you mention 'em, 'cuz a family friend got me one for my birthday earlier this month. What is a topic you definitely don't want to talk about with anyone? I don't like talking about my sexual history, doesn't matter who you are. It's just uncomfortable. What was your first gaming console? An Atari. Is there something you're eagerly waiting for? What is it? *SLAMS FISTS ON TABLE* MAY NEEDS TO FUCKIN' HURRY. My tattoo appointment is set then. :''') Do you/have you ever belonged to an organization? If so, which one? I was a Girl Scout when I was young. What is something you're very passionate about? Nature conservation, gay rights (equal rights in general, really), the pro-choice movement, and then there are less "important" things like certain hobbies interests and such. I'm sure there are more big ones that are just slipping my mind right now, considering I feel passionately for a shitload of stuff. What are you studying or what was the last thing you studied? I majored in Art & Design with a focus on Photography in college. But guess who dropped out. What was the last present you gave someone? I don't know... I mention enough that I don't have a source of income where I can really buy anything. I think the last thing I did was a Christmas gift for Mom a year or two back of a drawing I did of our late dog Cali, whom she absolutely adored. Do you enjoy plays? If so, what was the latest one you saw? Not really, no. What was the last thing you achieved? PHP has helped me focus on little victories, so prepare for an underwhelming answer haha, but it's something. I Facebook messaged an old friend I really wanted to catch up with, and everyone in group cheered for me. :') It was really heartwarming. What a shocker that this program is really helping me once again. What is something you would like to achieve at some point in your life? I would love love love to take at least one "famous" or award-winning photograph. It'd be such amazing validation that I'm talented at something I love so much. What is one philosophy you have regarding life/living/purpose? That's... difficult to answer seeing as I'm trying desperately to find my purpose. I do try to live by this old quote a therapist said once: "Deal with life, or life deals with you." I think it holds an incredible amount of depth and meaning in such a short phrase. How would you design the inside of your own home? I don't know the details of it, really, besides that shit is gonna look like a Halloween house year-round. I can imagine wanting black furniture, too, and having loooots of decor expressive of what I love and find comfort in. Gotta make a house feel like a home just for me. What is a band you remember liking from your childhood? Backstreet Boys, duh. Do you ever get mad at people for not having the same opinion as you (i.e. abortion being wrong/right, meat-eating being wrong/right)? Two things: it depends on the topic, and "get mad" is the wrong term for what I feel. It's more disgust; ex., I'm repulsed by anti-gay rights people and want absolutely nothing to do with 'em, but I'm not like, mad at them. Do you edit any of your pictures? In what ways? Oh yeah, and it definitely depends on the raw photograph. I edit depending on the mood it emanates; like if you've seen my roadkill photography versus nature shots, there is an extremely distinct difference in editing style and vibe. I'd say in general though, I tend to like to brighten my photographs and add more vibrance. If you like to take pictures, what is your motivation? God, I could write an essay on this. I just love and am so thankful for the fact we can literally freeze time forever with the click of a button and look back on fantastic sights, beautiful moments, memories... It's just magical to me, and I adore contributing to that art. Would you ever consider living anywhere cold? Well yeah, that's my preference, actually. What is your absolute favorite food? The spicy shrimp fritas from Olive Garden, jfc. Would you ever wear snake-skin pants, or other animal clothing? Fuck to the absolute hell no. What foreign country would you like to go to for a shopping spree? Idk, considering I'm not well-versed in the artistic creations of other countries. Perhaps India? Japan? I dunno. If you met your favorite musician, what would you ask him/her? I'm asking for his fucking autograph and a hug while I smile my face in two AND cry lmao. What do you spend most of your day thinking about? I ain't gonna bullshit nobody, my PTSD. In some way or another, he's lurking in that head of mine through memories, flashbacks, wonders of what could have gone differently... but thank God it's no longer in the forefront of my mind after my first PHP. I've come very, very far, but especially when trying to blank out my mind to fall asleep, parts of PTSD strangle my brain until I'm just finally out. I really hope that changes someday. Where is a busy place you would like to go to? Yikes, nowhere, really. I like to avoid busy locations. Do you think video games cause people to become violent? Absolutely not. You are responsible for the decisions you make; music, games, movies, etc. have no deciding voice in stupid shit you do, and it's bullshit that people blame art and entertainment for such things. Vocabulary: What was the last word you learned? I'm unsure. Have you or could you build your own site? Absolutely not from scratch. The closest I've gotten to that is my photography website, but it was through the assistance of Wix. What's the best thing you can cook yourself? Scrambled eggs, haha. I do make some bomb eggs at least. Are there a lot of graffiti around your neighborhood? No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? Nature photography. Would you stop eating meat, if you had to raise and slaughter it yourself? Absolutely. God, I want to go vegetarian again... Besides English, what other languages can you speak? I can speak a very little bit of German. Took four semesters of it in high school and became very good at it, but lack of practice has pretty much ruined that. Besides English, what other languages can you read? I can read German well; as in, I can pronounce most words I see, but that doesn't mean I understand what is written. Do you think you could make it as a chef? Gordon Ramsey would deadass kick me off his show on day one, lmao. What's your favorite kind of tea? It marvels me JUST how many tea and coffee questions are in surveys. Anyway, I don't like tea. I am an embarrassment to NC culture. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you've been? lask;dfjal;wekrjwe What's the most freeing thing you've ever done? Stealing my happiness back from someone who had no right to hold it all in its entirety. That shit's mine. Do you think today's kids are really impatient? Most, probably, but in some ways I can understand it - at least, in the sense that with the assistance of modern technology and advancements in satiating our wants so quickly, kids just expect it. I definitely believe that patience is something to try to be deeply instilled in everyone, though. I don't have an ounce of it (in most situations) and wish I did. Have you ever tasted birch sap? No. How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? No. Which edible flowers have you tasted? One of my favorite Southern experiences is finding a bunch of honeysuckles and tasting the honey (is it technically even honey??). Tastes amazing. My family's hairdresser lives down a beautiful path that sprouts a massive amount of them, and as kids, my sisters and her two boys would go tasting them while our parents talked for so long, or if we were waiting our turn. Good memories. What has been your worst restaurant experience? I'm not sure, really. What's the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? "Inappropriate humor type jokes." <<<< They can get me sometimes, too. Have you ever had a life-threatening condition? If so, what was it? No, thankfully. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? I don't believe so, no. Besides making a tye-dye one in HS with our school colors. Wasn't my idea and never wore it, haha. Do you ever read other people's survey answers? It depends on the person. If it's a friend, absolutely, because I love learning usually obscure things about them I wouldn't have known otherwise. If it's a user I don't know from wherever I got the survey, sometimes, depending on how short the answer is and my eyes kinda just scroll over it. Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Daytime, especially mornings. I'm generally happier when there's light around. What's your highest level of education so far? Some college. Describe your ordinary day: My average day is embarrassingly uneventful. It's sitting on the laptop doing shit on various sites, none of which are actually important, and playing WoW, which is also without true substance, save for social interactions with my friends on there. I spray Venus' terrarium everyday multiple times as well to keep the humidity up, and obviously eat and handle that kinda bodily needs stuff. Would you ever have a UV tattoo? Ugh, that'd be so dope. I've seen some awesome ones, but idk if I'd get one, considering when am I actually going to be under UV light?? Like I wanna be able to see my tat. What is the brand and color name of your favorite lipstick? I have one black lipstick, but it comes right off so I don't even like it. I only ever put it on to take pictures. What do you like on your tortilla? Just ham and cheese. How about inside your pita bread? I've never had pita bread, actually. What do you like in your burger? It depends on where I'm getting the burger. My basic is cheese, ketchup, mustard, a bit of mayo, pickles, and a light sprinkle of diced onion, but sometimes I add bacon and take away the onions. How about on your pizza? I have three I tend to pick from: pepperoni, jalapeno, or meat lovers. Do you work better alone or in a group? Alone, definitely. Which body part would you not mind losing? I'ma be extremely honest, with just how horribly weak my legs are, I could live without them, I guess. Not saying I want to by any means, it's just exhausting using them. Ideally, I'd take away something minor, like a finger or something. What common saying people use is absolute BS to you? “'Everything happens for a reason.'” <<<< Fuckin' colossal "same." I won't rag on people who believe it, especially if it gives you courage to keep moving forward, but I don't believe it in the slightest. If it were so, I'd like to talk to whoever is in control of those "reasons," please. What is the most interesting thing you’ve read or seen this week? I had no idea elephants were pregnant for two years, like holy shit, can you imagine. It was in an article I saw on Facebook about a mother and daughter elephant who are both expecting and doing well. Wonderful to hear. What’s the most useless talent you have? Ha, I'm a master in the arts of catastrophizing and jumping to conclusions involving people hating me in one way or another. What’s something everyone looks stupid doing? I'm one of those people who hate dabbing done by anybody, like you look like you're just smelling your armpit. Which kids’ movie scarred you for life? I wouldn't say "scarred me for life" by any means, but when I was little, I was terrified of the Wicked Witch from The Wizard of Oz and even had nightmares about her. It sucked because my little sister was obsessed with that movie, haha. In one sentence, how would you sum up the Internet? A source of incredible knowledge but also hate and misinformation. What would be the most ridiculous thing for the government to make illegal? I literally dread the idea of Roe vs. Wade being reversed. Banning abortion would kill so many people with operational uteruses and cause absolute pandemonium. How many friends do you have on social media and how many of them do you know for real? On Facebook, I have 124 friends, and I'd say I know most of them "in real life." However, having been on the Internet since I was so young and befriending loads of incredible people, a good chunk are "online friends." Hell, I'm more interested in their lives than most "real" ones. Long-distance friendships are so valid. What fact amazes you every time you think of it? Lots of things, generally regarding the stupidity of humanity. What’s the most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done? Probably going to the beach w/ my old friend Colleen. We had zero plans of doing it, but she just called me one morning and asked if I wanted to go, and off we went. It was a fun day. What has taken up too much of your life? I'ma be real, WoW. I don't think I'm addicted to it like I once was seeing as I go through spans where I barely want to play it at all and don't, so I truly am capable of not playing it, but rather it's just the most entertaining way to kill time in my life. I just don't like how much time I've invested into a game over six or seven years regardless. Where do you not mind waiting? Uh, nowhere lmao. Is there an app you hate to use, but still use every day? No; why would I use it if that was the case? Who is the funniest person you know? My friend Girt is fucking hysterical. What three words describe you best? Complex, passionate, and creative. What makes you think you’re smart? Lol who says I think I'm smart? Who inspires you? Korean Jesus. Okay on a serious note, not just him, of course, but he's #1 in an entire universe of ways. Do you aspire to be like somebody else? If so, who? No; I want to be my own authentic self. How did you meet your best friend? YouTube, back when it had more social aspects. Which one of your accomplishments are you the most proud of? I want to say my recovery, but like... I wonder a lot if it's "enough" to be proud of with how scarred I still am? I still struggle with a lot and feel like I could be so much better by now if I tried harder. If I'm completely honest with myself, I think it's finishing high school in the top percentile of my graduating class. There was a ceremony for the handful of us and all, and I cherish my plaque probably too much. Reminds me of a time when I knew what the fuck I was doing. What's the strangest thing you ever did as a child? Thinking I had "animal powers" where I could invoke the traits of certain animals at will, like what the actual fuck, Brittany. What did your mother teach you? Christ, a lot. Dad didn't do a lot of the raising, honestly, so much of my core values and whatnot were instilled by my mother. She taught me to care for and be nice to others, respect myself, try my best in everything, and most importantly that she is always there for me and my sisters no matter what and can tell her absolutely anything. She was very serious about us going to college and saving sex for marriage when we were younger, but she diverged from those ideas as absolutely necessary with experience. I'm extremely lucky with who I call my mom, overall. What did your father teach you? Eek... Read above. Not a lot as a kid (save for riding a bike and playing softball); most he's taught me has come following reuniting with him after my parents' divorce. I remember we went to lunch once and talked about my breakup, and he talked to me about sometimes, you just have to let people go in order to be happy, like with him and Mom. He's very serious now about ensuring us girls know that he is always there for us and will help us in any way he's capable. What makes you feel powerful? "Powerful" isn't something I really feel, if I'm being real. What are you ready to let go? It would be inexplicably fantastic if I could let every speck of Jason go in both my head and heart. What is your most bizarre deal-breaker? I don't really find any of my expectations and limits as "bizarre?" They're all valid to me. Well wait, idk if you'd find it strange that I absofuckinglutely would not date someone who hunts, but it's not to me. That's a difference in a very serious value to me. Would you rather be hated or forgotten? Hated. God, I don't want to leave this earth having given just nothing. I can live with some people hating me for whatever reason. What’s the biggest personal change you’ve made? Accepting my bisexuality, probably. That's something that I consider pretty big for two reasons: 1.) I could end up with a woman forever, and especially 2.) I was originally homophobic. I still have difficulty in fathoming how I ever was. What are some of your short-term goals? PHP is finally starting to make me build these again. I want to get better at selfcare, draw, write, and read more, I want to drink a lot more water, exercise way more... Lots of things, really. What is the weirdest thing about you? Uh. I dunno. Probably that I RP meerkats, which is a very obscure RP niche for sure.

[readersguidetotheuniverse]

The Guest List, by Lucy Folley

More P.O.V.’s = more reliable narrator(s)? 

Alicia: For me, part of the appeal of a thriller or crime novel lies in having an unreliable narrator. The less the reader knows about the characters the better, especially to create suspense and have them wondering who could be the killer until the very end. In this novel, we receive too much information right from the get go. That almost makes this novel a drama more than a thriller per se, cause there is very little room for thrill or surprise with that many points of view. And there's a reason why thrillers don't usually have many narrators: it doesn't work. 

Marina: What I usually enjoy most about suspense/mystery novels is actually not knowing anything about the different characters that come into play when there’s a murder. I think by giving the reader different points of view throughout the novel Folley changes the theme: it is no longer a mystery it’s become a family drama. I admit it still got me with the different secrets (see below) but it didn’t feel like a mystery, which is what I was expecting when we picked this book.

Ari: I agree with Marina here, it was exactly what I was thinking for the first half of the book: ‘This is a family drama’. I don’t like how Foley jumps from character to character: it is messy and some chapters don’t even move the plot forward at all. Besides, it felt the narrative was too much on Jules’ side (bride, bridesmaid, and wife of her best friend), even though in the end it isn’t, and all the feminine characters sound so much the same I even kept confusing Hannah and Olivia’s chapters. Metaphorically speaking, reading this book felt like watching an Alexander Calder sculpture, different shapes and colors spinning without much of a sense until you look at the big picture.

Stereotypes

Alicia: I don't mind a stereotype here and there but this book has maybe one too many. The whole haunted castle/mansion thing is a bit overdone but okay, I'll take it. Then there's a graveyard. And a mysterious dangerous cave. Lore about death. Fog. A storm. A power cut. Even a 'ghost' at some point! I thought it was too much and too shoehorned and even a tad too obvious. If the story is good and it's well written, you don't need to add so many extra elements of suspense. The actual plot should be enough. 

Marina: Oh my God! So many stereotypes! To be honest it got boring by page… I don’t know 20? Same thing as before, I enjoy discovering the little secrets on my own as I read the novel so having the symbology be described by the different narrators felt forced. “Oh, look, a cormoran! Those forebond murder you know!” Like, no s*** Sherlock. Or the whole spiel with the churches being haunted, it just wasn’t for me.

Ari: I have almost twenty notes (kid you not) marking things I found way too straightforward for a novel of this genre. The birds, the graveyard, the church in which they marry being in ruins... Even characters thinking ‘This place has made me think of death” a day before the wedding even happens. Come on, are you kidding me? Are readers of thrillers so dull and narrowminded that the writer needs to make these “mysterious hints” so bloody obvious? Even the style in writing was too obvious and direct that it felt there was almost no real mystery whatsoever, being everything so unambiguous.

Secrets/motives

Alicia: While it does make sense that you need many different motives for the 'everyone wanted to kill him but who did it' concept to work, these seem incredibly forced. There are just so many coincidences I am willing to accept. There's Johnno who discovers he basically fucked him over, which is an acceptable excuse. Charlie had a traumatic experience because of him, alright. Then it starts to get messy when you find out he's the guy that Olivia had a 'relationship' with for a while before he disappeared once she told him she got pregnant. I mean, dating and marrying Jules after dating her sister is sketchy enough already. Then turns out that he's also the one responsible for the suicide of Hannah's sister? And the boy that died because of him is Aoife's brother? It got to a point where these motives were too random and too exact at the same time that it got almost too ridiculous to be taken seriously and I lost all interest I had left. 

Marina: I have to admit I didn’t really think about who was going to be murdered because I kept expecting the “past” scenes to be over and  thought there would be a longer “now” narrative (spoiler: there wasn’t). That being said, Wouldn’t it have been way more dramatic if there had been, i don’t know, clues or something more tangible to tie everything up together? I guess I always imagine a detective character figuring everything out, I really like to follow their train of thought and how they get to the final suspects/motives. In the end, the reveal of the murderess wasn’t even that shocking, we all knew who had killed him, we all wanted Will dead, big f***ing deal. I usually really enjoy being surprised by the different plot twists but, even though I didn’t expect them, I looked forward to them because otherwise it was a bit boring.

Ari: It was clear to me who was going to be murdered from the first chapters. It was not until the second half of the book that the secrets and motives came to light (once you detangled one, the others came rather easily) and they seemed far too “coincidentally” aligned to be believable. The one I did not expect, though, was the most crucial, that I have to give to the book. But it kind of annoyed me that, having had all the drama develop so slowly and erratically during the first half of the book, this particular secret motive wasn’t even explained at all, like a Deus-ex-machina-ed subplot to catch the reader by surprise (pst, not worth it!).

Plotholes

Alicia: I try to overlook plot holes in every book I read, especially if they're details that are kind of insignificant to the story. I understand that it's not easy to create a complex story out of thin air and many novels have plot holes, it's okay, I can look the other way. This book is no exception. The difference is there are too many plot holes for me to ignore all of them. Did seriously no one recognize Freddy? What happens after Will's body is found? It's literally his wedding, his family and friends are there but we barely see a reaction. What's the point of the seaweed in the bed? Charlie, Hannah, Olivia and Jules don't really get closure, we don't get to see much of them after the wedding or what we see is pointless. Does Johnno come forward about what he has and hasn't done? What about the rest of the guests? There are many questions I don't get answers to and it kind of annoys me.

Marina: My biggest concern with the whole plot is that it kept going back and forward to explain the connection between the characters and at times it felt very forced. In the end, this turned out to be some petty revenge novel to kill someone who was indeed very cruel and self-centered. But if you want me to read it tell me that on the first place, I would rather read a book about a would-be-murderess and how she’s going to kill a guy that has ruined so many people’s lives than what I actually read. 

Ari: How the hell did Will not realise who Olivia was? Even though she didn’t introduce him to Jules at the party, they must have been there long enough to at least see Jules from afar. And he may have realised at some early point that Jules’ flat was where he met ‘Belle’... And how come the Trevellyan gang did not recognise Fatfuck? Not even the headmaster!

The ‘disappointing’ end 

Alicia: The biggest issue for me with the end is that the build-up until the murder is enormous, the actual murder is not interesting or elaborate enough and then the conclusion is very short and insufficient. 300 pages for the different backstories, 5 pages for the murder and 10 pages for a resolution. If you give us 5 or 6 characters' backstories with complex issues and then completely ignore these characters once the murder has happened, this is just not enough and not okay. The climax happens too late and it's barely a climax and the aftermath is almost nonexistent. Feels rushed and poorly executed. I was seriously underwhelmed.

Marina: Look I’m going to give Folley a little bit of a leeway. If what she wrote as the “murder” (I’m sorry I can’t even call it murder) was, say, in the middle of the action, the reader would have gotten the experience of at least going through a bit of the aftermath of that death. Instead we get a rushed 10-15 pages about the different characters which, to be completely honest, was underwhelming to say the least.

Ari: As I said before, I didn’t much like the unexpected ending, as it seemed pulled out of thin air, and all the building up of the previous 300 or so pages was somehow worthless in the solving of the mystery. Therefore, all of the sub-plots regarding other characters were left unresolved, but not in a good “let the reader reflect on them” manner, but as in “I have to finish the book and I don’t have enough pages”. What about Olivia’s abortion? Jules doesn’t even know about it. How is Jules going to react to the murder, the night of her wedding? What happens between Hannah and Charlie? It surely has put Hanna’s life upside down, to have discovered the why’s of her sister’s death. Does Johnno get blamed for everything, without any defence, as a pay-up for the death of Loner? And more important, what about Frank and Aoife, did they marry just because of their past? Did Aoife bargain the wedding just as a way to get revenge? Too many plot holes in this fast-paced wrap-up. 

Unmet expectations

Alicia: I had very high expectations about this book, I was truly really excited about it. It has good ratings, an apparently really interesting plot, it has been listed in some great book clubs... It looked very promising. Until I started reading. There are many reasons why this book was disappointing, explained in the different topics above. For me it's simple. It's almost inconceivable that a book that's marketed as a crime novel about a murder in a wedding won't actually tell you that there has been a murder and who has died until almost 300 pages in, with close to no real resolution afterwards. It's bordering false advertising.

Marina: I kept expecting for the murder to happen and every time I thought “here we go!” it was just another scene from the wedding, which to be honest wasn’t even that interesting. If you think about this book being a wedding retelling it might be a bit more accurate than actually saying it’s a mystery. I wanted to be kept at the edge of my seat by what was going to happen next! I just don’t get how this book got so hyped up for the mystery part!

Ari: We chose this book from the June releases because all of us thought a good thriller would spice up our readings, and it was chosen as the book of the month in Reese’s book club, which made me think it had to be especially good. I read reviews comparing Foley’s writing to Agatha Christie’s and, as much as I can see the parallels between The Guest List and Christie’s novels like The Orient Express (many characters having motive to kill ONE other very-mean character) or And then there were none (character murdering many for their offences to them… on a deserted island), I don’t think it is even slightly fair to compare the writing of the two. And here speaking someone who was disappointed by The Orient Express’ way too much ‘divine intervention’ solving.

[mageicalwishes]

A Smashing Summer - Chapter 2

Read on AO3: here

Read the previous chapter (On Tumblr): here

Summary: “I’m egging your house for a dare, but you’re parent is a cop and now they’re yelling at me, so I told them you were my ex and you wronged me, and now you’re coming outside, so please just go along with this, I really don’t want to go to jail” AU When Simon Snow agreed to egg some posho’s house, he never thought he’d find himself here - The only thing standing between himself and a criminal charge, the word of a handsome stranger.

Chapter: 2/?

Words: 4,269

Simon

“Who is it?” Baz calls, pulling the door ajar. 

“Uh …  Me?” I answer, my voice creeping with uncertainty. “You told me to be here at eight sharp. So … here I am?”

“If I told you to be here at eight sharp, then you’re three minutes late. But, I highly doubt that I did - I don’t know anybody called 'Me', and I don’t invite strangers over.”

“Come on, Baz,” I whine. “Don’t be a prat! You  know  who it is. It’s me …  Simon!”

He stalls, and for a moment I think his shenanigans are over - But then, he’s pushing the door closed, the latch clicking into place loudly. “Nope, sorry,” he sings, pushing open the letterbox so I can hear him properly. “Doesn’t ring any bells,” 

Peeved, I hammer my fist against the door.

“Baz! Come on! It’s me!  Simon. Simon Snow!” 

I pause, awaiting another snide response. But, all I’m met with is silence. I’m pretty sure he’s still there, though. I don’t think that he’d actually leave me like that. I mean ... I know that I egged his house, but dragging me all the way out here,  just  to slam the door in my face, would be a bit harsh. Baz may be slightly prickly, but he’s not actually  mean   (Well … I don’t think so, anyway). 

“Seriously, Baz! You know me! It’s Simon Snow,” I continue. “You know … The egg guy?”

The door swings open suddenly, revealing him to me - Leaning against the door, a wicked grin spread across his face. 

“Oh, of course! You should have just said so! ... How  is my favourite juvenile delinquent doing?” 

“Twat,” I grumble, unimpressed. “I’m not a juvenile delinquent.”

He laughs, bright and effusive. 

“I know, I know. I’m just winding you up - Don’t worry,” he smiles, stepping aside to allow me in. “Come on in. Father is at work, so you don’t have to worry about him jumping you.”

If the outside of Baz’s house was intimidating, the inside is positively terrifying - All dark wood, and gilded, antique furniture. It’s a bit gaudy, to be honest - More of a show of wealth than a home. But, it’s still far nicer than anything I’ve ever had, so I can’t really criticise. 

“Stop gawping, Snow,” He scolds. “You look ridiculous.” 

“Sorry,” I drone, my voice heavy with sarcasm. “I'm just not used to creepy, Gothic mansions. You know …  Most people avoid the 'Dracula’s lair ' aesthetic. It’s terribly outdated.”

“Shut up, you dolt,” he snickers, the tip of his nose scrunching up slightly. “It’s not even Gothic. It’s Victorian.” 

“Whatever! Just … Is there a tap I can use? I should probably get on with it. I brought a bucket … And some soap. I just need some water.” 

He smirks, raising an elegant brow in question. 

He has nice eyebrows - Dark, and sharply arched. Not a hair out of place. He must wax them, or something - Because there’s no way they could be that perfect naturally. 

“You’re not very observant are you, Snow?” He asks, amused. 

“Huh? What are you on about?” 

“The door,” He drawls - Acting as though that clarifies his meaning perfectly (Which it definitely doesn't). “The one you knocked, like, five minutes ago?” 

Lost, I stare at him blankly, throwing my hands out in question - Helplessly confused. 

He sighs, rolling his eyes upwards, exaggeratedly.

“Seriously? You didn’t notice the lack of Egg?” 

Oh.

“What?” I bark, outraged. “Who cleaned it off?” 

He shrugs, nonchalantly. “I did. Obviously.” 

“What?” I repeat, my voice absurdly small. “I told you I’d do it. Did you not believe me? I told you, you could trust me - I wouldn’t lie.” 

I don’t really know why I’m protesting. I mean, it’s not like I really wanted to spend my Saturday scrubbing away dried Egg. He’s done me a favour really - Although, it certainly doesn’t feel that way. 

“No, it’s not that. I knew you’d come back,” he reassures, his tone sincere. “But, Father wasn’t exactly chuffed about waiting until today - Apparently dried eggs are incredibly difficult to remove. So … I cleaned it up last night. There’s no need for you to have a meltdown, though. It wasn’t a problem.” 

“But … I was supposed to make it up to you,” I murmur, picking at the sleeve of my hoodie. 

“I know. It’s okay, though. Seriously. I’m really not that bothered.”

I tug a hand through my curls in frustration (I should probably stop doing that, to be honest. Penny says I’ll end up bald otherwise. But … Old habits are hard to break).

“When?” 

“When, what?” He asks, clearly confused. 

“When did you clean it up? Like - What time?” 

He huffs out a laugh. “I don’t know. Maybe … Nine-ish? Why does that matter?” 

“If you did it at nine - Why didn’t you just tell me when we were texting, then?” 

  ————————————————————————————

Baz

Oh. Shit. How the hell am I supposed to reasonably explain that? 

‘Oh, sorry. My life is just so irreparably dull that you’re the most exciting thing to happen to me all Summer. So, I just really wanted to see you again - Even without the valid excuse of making you clean up the mess you made‘  - Yeah, because that’s not at all creepy. 

I shrug, coolly - Building up a facade of indifference. “It must’ve slipped my mind.” 

“Oh,” he mumbles. “That makes sense.” 

“Yeah,” I breathe, unsure of what else to say. 

Could I invite him to stay? Or would that be too much? I mean, he didn’t come here to ‘hang out’ -  He came here under the pretence of scrubbing the bloody egg off of our front door. He'd probably just be freaked out if I did. 

Nervously, I trace the pad of my thumb against my ring (I hardly take it off, nowadays. It was my mother’s, once. A simple, silver band. Elegant - Just like she used to be). 

Luckily for me, before I have to face the humiliation of speaking, Snow is stammering out another sentence. 

“Well … We could, you know. I mean, hang out or something? I did say I’d make it up to you. So ... We could go to the cinema, or something? I have money in my bag.” 

“Sure. I suppose I don’t really have anything better to do.” I quip, suppressing a smile. 

“Wicked,” he says, beaming up at me, his blue eyes shining. 

“I have to get changed first though.”

“What? Why? What’s wrong with that?” He questions, gesturing towards my chest. 

“These are my tennis whites, Snow,” I deadpan. “I’m not going into town dressed like this. I’m not an animal.”

He guffaws loudly, clutching onto his stomach. “But … It’s just a polo and shorts! There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“There definitely is.”

“You’re so weird,” he laughs, poking my arm lightly. 

“Sure. I’m the weird one,” I mock. “Just follow me, okay? I’ll get changed in the en-suite. And, you can just wait in my room. It won’t take long.” 

————————————————————————————

Simon

Baz’s room is certainly striking.

It’s as gaudily overdone as the entrance hall - With the same dark walls, and unnecessarily ornate furniture (I mean, he’s got a proper, curtained four-poster bed, for Christ’s sakes!). But, his room has way more personality - Every flat surface littered with papers and well-worn books, and an assortment of silver photo frames lining the top of his dresser.

“Hey, Baz?” I call, sliding my hands over the silk of his bed sheets, absentmindedly. “Can you hear me?”

“Obviously,” He rumbles. “I’m only on the other side of a door.” 

“Oh right, yeah. Cool … Can I ask you something?” 

“I suppose so,” he sighs (Although, I’m pretty sure he’s not actually annoyed). “But, I reserve the right to refuse to answer, if it’s a stupid question.”

“It’s not stupid! I was only going to ask how old you are?” 

“Wow. You’re right - That’s not stupid ... However, it is exceedingly boring.” He jeers. 

“Don’t be a dick!” I growl. “Just answer the question”

“Seventeen. I’m in Lower Sixth."

“Oh nice, same.”

“Yes- I know. You said yesterday.”

“Oh yeah ... When’s your birthday?” 

“Seriously? Why? Are you going to buy me a present?” 

“Yes, seriously!” I cry, lobbing a pillow at the door.

He yelps, surprised. And, I can’t help the splutter of laughter that erupts out of me. 

“Jesus Christ! There's no need to throw a tantrum. It’s in February. The twenty-fourth, if you want to be exact about it.”

“Fair enough. You’re older than me, then. Mine’s the twenty-first of June.”

“Oh well,” he purrs. “I’ll be sure to send you a card next year.”

“Oh wow. That’s very generous of you,” I sneer, pulling my backpack open, and grabbing my packet of scones. “Imma put a scone on your bedside cabinet, okay? It’s for you to try later on." 

He doesn’t answer, so I just assume he’s alright with it.

“Baz!” I whine, flopping down against his bed. “I thought you said you were just getting changed. How long does it take to change your bloody top!”

He tuts loudly, clearly underwhelmed by my level of patience.

“Just wait, you Git. I’ll be out in a minute. You know what they say, Snow … You can’t rush perfection.” 

 He definitely takes longer than a minute, but soon enough the bathroom lock clicks, and he’s stepping back into the room.

I sit up quickly, desperately trying to scrape the scone crumbs off of his bedding. And then, I freeze - Utterly dumbfounded by the sight of him. Oh no. 

“What’s wrong with you? Never seen proper clothing before?” He taunts, the smirk audible in his voice. 

I stare at him, wordlessly - Slack-jawed and wide-eyed. I probably look slightly insane, but I’m powerless to stop myself. He looks ...  Otherworldly. 

His hair has been pulled back into a loose bun - A few strands left hanging free, expertly framing the sharp edges of his face. His polo has been swapped out for a boxy, white shirt - Adorned with embroidered bumblebees, and only partially buttoned. The deep V of the neckline, exposing the bronze expanse of his chest - Teasing me with a view of the alluring groove of his collarbone. The shorts, too, have been upgraded. White polyester having been replaced by tight, black denim. And, as if all of that wasn’t enough, his nails have been painted a deep shade of maroon.

He’s a vision. Tall, dark, and handsome - The perfect cliche. 

“What,” he asks again insistently, his voice weak with insecurity. “Seriously? Is - Is it too much, or something?”

He stomps over to the mirror, staring at his reflection blankly, and tugging at the bottom of his shirt. 

“No!,” I snap, perhaps a little too urgently. “No. It’s fine. I mean - It’s good. You look good. I was just - I was just admiring your shirt. It’s nice. Proper fancy, like.”

“Right,” he drawls, his eyebrows drawn in suspicion. “Well … You shouldn’t stare at people. It’s rude.” 

I scratch the back of my neck awkwardly, my face flooding with heat. 

“Yeah,” I mumble. “Sorry about that.” 

“Yes. Well … Come on then, Snow. Enough gawking! We haven’t got all day, you know”

 ————————————————————————————

Baz

The drive to the cinema is painfully awkward - The two of us sitting side-by-side in complete silence. I flick on the radio, attempting to alleviate the crushing weight of the quiet that hangs between us. It doesn’t really work, though. 

He’s definitely sulking. Although, I don’t know whether it’s because of all the weirdness in my bedroom, or because I refused to walk into town. I will admit that, he didn’t seem all that thrilled with my justification that you can’t risk breaking into a sweat when you’re wearing a six-hundred pound Gucci shirt - Just grumbling on about how I was a "High-maintenance, twat". 

He quickly cheers up when we reach the cinema’s kiosk, though - Dashing about scooping sweets into his Pick-And-Mix bag, and beaming over at me as he orders the largest carton of popcorn available. 

“Sweet tooth, Snow?” I tease. 

“Uh huh. Definitely … Do you want anything? I brought enough money for the both of us.”

“Maybe just some Revels,” I shrug. 

“Oh God! Yuck! You’re one of those people,” he complains, grimacing. “Gonna be honest with you Baz, I don't think we can be friends anymore.”

“Oh, piss off,” I scoff. “What’s wrong with Revels?”

“Everything but the Malteasers and Minstrels is what is wrong with bloody Revels! The rest of the flavours are just offensive. I mean, what kind of psychopath wants to eat Coffee and Orange Cream … And don’t even get me started on the fucking Raisins!”

“Uh, I believe I'm the kind of 'psychopath' you're referring to” I snap, swatting at him, jokingly. “They’re sublime! Your palette is clearly just too unrefined to appreciate them.” 

He coughs out a mirthless laugh.

“Whatever. Enjoy your shitty chocolates, Loser. Don’t say I didn’t try to save you from your own poor choices!” 

————————————————————————————

Simon

“Are you seeing this, Snow? How fucking inconsiderate is she?” he hisses, his breath tickling the shell of my ear. “I mean, why come to the cinema, if all you want to do is sit on bloody Snapchat? Literally, what is the point?”

I huff out a quiet laugh, glancing over at him - His brow creased, and his lips pushed into a grumpy pout.

“It’s only the adverts, Baz. Chill. I’m sure she’ll turn it off when the movie starts.”

‘Well, that’s not really good enough. The adverts are a key part of the cinema experience! I really don’t see why they should be ruined, just because she wants to send some useless selfie.” 

“You stress too much,” I whisper, shrugging as I shovel a fistful of popcorn into my mouth. “It ain't so bad.” 

He snarls over at me, shoving a hand against my shoulder. “That is vile! Don't talk with your mouth full, Idiot. Seriously - Who raised you? Did they teach you nothing about manners?” 

I don’t answer. Choosing instead, to make a show of chewing with my mouth open, in retaliation - Earning myself an icy glare. 

“Barbarian,” he gruffs. 

 When the lights dim further, I beam over at him, excitedly.

To my surprise, he’s already looking over at me - His signature eyebrow raise in place, but a soft, shy smile dancing across his lips. Caught, he quickly averts his gaze, shuffling in his seat nervously. 

“It’s time!” I murmur, pushing my leg out slightly, and pressing our knees together. 

“I know. I have been to the cinema before.” 

“Whatever,” I snipe. “I just hope you don’t get too scared. Living in a haunted mansion, I imagine this may hit uncomfortably close to home, for you”

“Hmmm. Somehow, I think I’ll manage …  I’m a big boy, you know.”

“Sure, sure. Whatever you say, Tyrannus,” I tease, drawing out each letter of his name. 

He bashes his knee against mine, forcefully - Clearly unimpressed with my little joke. 

“Don’t worry though,” I continue. “If you do get too scared, you can always cuddle up to me. I’ll keep you safe.” 

‘Just shut it, Snow,” he sighs, rubbing a hand against his brow bone in frustration. “I will hurt you if need be.” 

I muffle a giggle with my hand, but I oblige - Biting my tongue, and turning my attention back to the movie screen. 

————————————————————————————

Squinting against the bright lights, we step outside the screen room - The disorienting feeling of being plunged back into reality, making my head whirl uncomfortably. 

“Did you like it?” I ask, chucking my rubbish into the bin as I talk. 

“Yeah,” he murmurs, blinking his eyes stupidly. “Yeah. It was good. Thank you for the ticket - And the invite, of course. You’ll be glad to know that you can now consider your debt to me, repaid.” 

I chuckle halfheartedly, bitterly disappointed.

If I'm being honest, I don’t really want my debt to be repaid - It’s the only reason I was allowed to hang out with him, in the first place. I suppose I could just egg his house again - Although, I doubt he would be as lenient with me the second time around. 

Dissatisfied, I decide to try and drag the day out as much as possible (It’s only midday, so I have ages until I need to get back). 

“I’m starving!” I complain, clutching at my stomach dramatically. “Are you hungry?

“I could eat,” he shrugs, smirking amusedly. 

“Perfect! I know a great pizza place. It’s only like … Five minutes away.”

“Go on then, Snow. Lead the way.”

Grinning over at him, I grab his hand, weaving our fingers together unthinkingly. His are slimmer than mine, long and elegant where mine are short and stubby, but we fit together perfectly - The feel of his palm pressed against mine, causing my stomach to flip strangely.

When I realise what I’ve done, I pause - Loosening my grip on his hand, so that he can drop it if he wants. But, to my delight, he doesn’t - Instead opting to give it a light squeeze. 

“Carry on, then” he drawls, his voice flat with boredom (Although, his cheeks are dusted a light shade of red, so I think he’s just putting it on to be a prat). “There’s really no reason to stand here all day.”

And with that, I start to walk - Bounding off towards the diner, pulling him along behind me.

————————————————————————————

Baz

I scowl down at the plate, completely off-put.

“This looks foul, Snow. It’s practically soaked in oil! You don’t actually expect me to eat that, do you?” 

He swallows showily, gulping down his bite of pizza. 

“Come on, Baz,” he whines, tilting his head to the side pleadingly. “Don’t be a snob! I know it looks a little gross, but it's really delicious. Trust me. Just have a bite - It won’t kill you!”

Hesitantly, I raise a slice up to my lips, and take a minuscule bite. When the flavour hits me, I groan embarrassingly - Unable to control myself.

As much as I hate to admit it, he was right - It’s infuriatingly delicious. 

“Aha!” he yells, sticking out his hand, and jabbing a finger at my face. “I told you! Isn’t it so great?” 

“Alright, alright,” I chuckle. “There's no need to make a scene. I will admit that it’s fairly pleasant - As far as pizzas go, anyway”

“Nah. Piss off. It’s great, and you know it!”

I quirk my brow, swatting his hand away from my face. 

“Me and the boys come here after college sometimes,” he continues, biting into the pizza sloppily. “I know the owner, and everything. Sometimes he gives me free wedges … It’s a pretty sweet deal.”

“I see. And who are these boys, you speak of?” I laugh. 

“Josh and Nathan. We all go to Brockenhurst, but we live together too, so we’re pretty close. We’re practically brothers at this point!”

“Oh nice. Do you have your own flat or something?” I ask, confused. 

“Oh no. Not yet, anyway. We will do it soon. But, right now, we’re living in a kid’s home. Murdoch House? I don’t know if you know it.”

Shit. I’m such a twat.

“No. I don’t,” I sigh, twisting my hands together, ashamed. “I’m sorry, though. I didn’t realise. Some of the stuff I’ve said … If I’d have known, I wouldn’t have. I mean, if I touched a nerve or anything, I really am sincerely sorry. I’d never mean to actually hurt you - I just like taunting people. It’s my way.” 

“Baz,” he chortles, the sides of his eyes scrunching up sweetly. “There’s no need to get all serious, you Numpty. It’s okay, I know you wouldn’t. It’s chill, seriously. I've lived in homes my whole life, so I’m not really bothered. Not anymore, anyway. It’s just - People tend to go all awkward when I tell them, so I try not to bring it up”. 

I puff out a breath, relieved. 

“Okay. Well, good. Thank you for telling me, though. And, don’t worry, I won’t 'go all awkward' on you. That would be below me.”

He hums, smiling across at me, his cheeks stuffed with pizza. He looks like a hamster - And really, it should look ridiculous, but somehow, on him, it’s stupidly endearing. 

“Do you like it there, though?” I ask. “I mean, I don’t really know much about living in care - Only what I saw on Tracy Beaker as a kid. And, I’m not sure that’s exactly the most accurate account.”

“Not far off, to be honest,” he shrugs. “It’s mostly good. I mean, the kids are alright. And the staff at this place are nice - You can tell they like, properly care, you know? The rules are kind of strict, though - Which is annoying. And the food is abysmal … That’s probably the worst thing about it, to be honest . They’re pretty underfunded, so they have to just bulk buy the cheapest shit they can find … Leads to some interesting culinary creations.” 

I shake my head in disbelief. 

“Of course that’s what you care about, you absolute disaster!” 

“What?” He calls, outraged. “I’m a growing boy, Baz - I need sustenance! Delicious, well-seasoned sustenance.”

“You’ll have to come over to mine for dinner sometime, then,” I smile. “My step-mother is a pretty amazing cook - So, I’m sure she could make something you'd enjoy. We’ll have to wait until Father is away, though. I doubt he’d appreciate me inviting the hooligan that egged his house over for dinner.”

“Seriously?” He asks, his tone achingly hopeful. 

“Yeah. Why not?” I answer, schooling my voice into an indifferent drone. “My family are convinced that I have no friends besides my cousin and his mate, so it would be satisfying to prove them wrong.” 

“Oh well, cool,” he mumbles, his freckled cheeks flushing a light rose. “I’d like that.” 

 ————————————————————————————

We stayed, sat together in that grotty little diner for hours after that (Right up until Snow’s phone started blaring out an alarm - Signalling the approach of his of measly eight P.M curfew). We didn’t really talk about anything important - Mostly sticking to inane chatter about school and football. But, that hardly matters. It was still good. It was so, so good. 

I lean against the Jag’s bonnet, starting over at him silently. 

“Well,” He sighs, kicking his foot against the pavement childishly. “I suppose this is a good night then?”

“I suppose so,” I mumble, desperately trying to prevent the disappointment welling up within my chest from seeping into my voice. “It's probably best to avoid triggering a search party.” 

“Yeah - But … You’ll text me, yeah? I mean, I’ll text you, obviously. But you will answer won’t you?” 

“Of course.” I answer plainly. “You know where I live, remember? Ignoring you is meaningless - You could just stalk me into submission.” 

“Oh haha. Very funny, Dickhead,” He groans. “But seriously … I’ll hold you to that.” 

“I hope you do, Snow,” I say, simpering meekly. 

“Oh don’t you worry, Pitch. I will.”

With that, he flashes me a soft smile, waving me goodbye, before turning and trudging down the driveway. “Make sure your phone’s volume is up! I’d hate for you to miss my fantastic texts!” He calls, pulling the gate closed  behind him with an ear-aching screech. And then, he’s gone. 

————————————————————————————

SS (23:47): Tonight was fun :) We should hang out again soon

ME (23:47): Definitely. 

SS (23:48): Aha yes!

SS (23:48): You’re paying next time tho. 

ME (23:49): If you insist, Snow. 

SS (23:50): I defo do! 

SS (23:50): Oh, also ... Speaking of insisting 

SS (23:50): You should call me Simon. You don't have to keep referring to me by my surname, you know?

SS (23:50): I call you Baz. So, I reckon it's only fair! 

ME (23:52): I'll consider it, Snow. I make no promises, though!

SS (23:52): You're well mean! :(((((((

SS (23:52): Imma make you call me Simon one day! Whether you like it or not!

ME (23:53): I'd love to see you try. Pitches are not easily swayed! 

SS (23:54): Pftttt! Whatever! 

SS (23:54): Say what you like - I'm still gonna get you to call me it! 

SS (23:54): I've got a plan!

SS (23:55): And it's defo going to work!

SS (23:55): I gtg to bed now tho. My phone’s gonna get confiscated if I keep this up. 

SS (23: 55): So ... G’night Baz. I'll talk to you tomorrow :) 

SS (23:55): Don’t let the ghosties get you! 

ME (23:56): You’re ridiculous. 

ME (23:56): Goodnight, Snow. Talk to you then.  

————————————————————————————

ME (1:19): Good Morning, Snow. I know you're asleep right now, but I thought that you'd like to know that I ate the scone you left me. You were absolutely right ... It was delicious. So, thank you for leaving me one - With your insatiable appetite, I can only imagine how difficult that must've been for you. 

ME (1:20): You'll definitely need to bring me some more, at some point. I'll make more concrete plans with you at a more reasonable hour, though. I seriously need to sleep. 

[air-bison-yip-yip]

Incantava prompt - summer vacation (Turkey, Spain and Paris trip)

thanks for the prompt, anon! This is for @nnegan13, the most precious cinnamon roll in all the lands.

also on ao3

“You hate the Eiffel Tower!?”

“I don’t hate it,” Ele disagrees, emphatically. “It’s just...all big.” Edoardo’s eyebrows rise in disbelief.

“Yeah, that’s the whole thing. It’s a feat of amazing ingenuity and engineering.”

“I’m not disputing that,” Ele tells him as she walks down the streets of Paris with Edoardo. She grabs onto his hand tightly as they maneuver around the crowds of people.

“But you still hate it.”

“No. I don’t. I just think it’s big and phallus shaped, and we could be eating bread and going to all the gardens not just, ya know, paying a ridiculous amount to stand in line and then go up high.”

“I can’t believe this,” Edoardo says, shaking his head in exasperation. “You’re the only girl on the planet where her boyfriend takes her to Paris--to the Eiffel Tower, and you’re underwhelmed.”

“I mean, I’m probably not the only girl.”

“Ele.”

“I think it’s incredibly romantic that my boyfriend is such a cliche cheeseball! Honestly, this entire trip has been perfect. I’m just saying it’s ending on a down note. We should’ve saved the gardens at Versailles for today,” Ele explains. Her body is close to Edoardo’s as they head toward the center of Paris.

“So you don’t want to go?” Edo asks, looking down at her as they continue walking.

“I never said that.”

“Explicitly, but you don’t need too many brain cells to read between the lines here, Ele.”

“We can totally go. You spent hours yesterday letting me talk and gush about plants. I would be happy to stand in line and hear you talk about the Eiffel Tower and it’s ingenuity, honest.” Ele tugs at Edoardo’s arm taking him to a little bench off the main path and pulling him to sit next to her.

“I don’t want to go knowing you don’t like it. I’ve been before.” Edoardo says. Eleonora doesn’t think he’s mad, but he’s definitely bordering between amusement and incredulity.

“Is there, like, another phallus building you want to see? We can go there?” Edo coughs out a laugh at that.

“What?” Ele asks a small smile forming on her lips in response to his own.

“You’re the most stubborn, beautiful, ridiculous person I have ever met and I love you so so much,” Edoardo says, his eyes light and joyous. It’s infectious, this love and playfulness.

“See, that was so much more romantic here on a bench in Paris than on the Eiffel Tower where every other person is having a romantic moment,” Ele tells him, her cheeks blushing at the compliments. It’s been a learning curve to accept his words of praise as sincere.

“Well, I saw a dumpster back there, did you want to put a padlock on it with our names instead of the bridge? That would be peak romance.” Edoardo teases, a magnificent smile on his face. “Or, I’m pretty sure we could find a lamppost to take pictures in front of to show all our friends and family the amazing views we encountered.”

“You’re the worst,” Ele says through her laughter as Edoardo continues to name ridiculous scenarios.

“Forget the gourmet chocolate we were going to give to Filo, let’s go find some gum under a table. That’s a much more unique gift.”

“Edo!”

“Or, I think, if we wanted to get a bit sexy, we could probably find a filthy American themed restaurant to fool around in. Forget a nice hotel in Paris with a view, let’s get a disease.”

“Oh my god,” Ele exclaims.

“We could get so much wine and chug it all--box wine from the store--and then throw it all up, so we never want it again. That memory will last us forever. We could never have French wine ever again. The romance.”

“Edo! Stop!”

Edoardo ignores Ele’s protests, far too pleased with himself. “I know what we should do--

“Oh god,” she mutters.

“We should forget the opera tickets tonight. Let’s trash them. Instead, we could put on our pajamas and ask people in the hotel rooms next to us to sing a bit. The stranger the better. It’ll be like a fun reverse caroling.”

“C’mon!”

“No, I got it. The perfect romantic day in Paris--”

Ele quickly captures his lips for a bruising kiss. It’s awkward at first, both of their smiles preventing them from kissing in earnest, but some of the laughter wanes and want surfaces allowing Ele to deepen the kiss. She pulls his bottom lip between her teeth and pulls slightly eliciting a groan for Edoardo as he moves his hand around her waist, their bodies as close as possible without Ele actually being in Edo’s lap.

Ele puts everything she has into these kisses. Her tongue slides against his, and she feels her body warming at the softness of his lips, the wicked moves of his tongue. Damn, he can kiss. Ele matches him though, she tries to put every ounce of her love for him into the kiss, because even though she’s joking with him, this has been the best three months of her life. Spain was full of laughter and dancing, and late-night walks along the shores. Turkey was spent weaving throughout the mazes of markets, trying new foods, and buying small trinkets. Or listening to Edoardo recount aspects of history at specific buildings. Her stupidly hot popular boyfriend was the biggest nerd, but she loved his recounting of the stories from the past. He’s a natural storyteller. Paris had been spent eating and wandering and visiting anything green that they could find.

Honestly, Ele doesn’t think she’s ever felt so comfortable and at home than when she travels with Edoardo. They would split up at times, to do their own thing, or have their own time, but she never got sick of him. They were a great team, and this trip had proved to her over and over again that she was so thankful she has him. That she fought for him. That he waited and fought for her. This wonderful man with his shitty hair was hers. Her love.

She put all of those feelings into the kiss before pulling away and resting her forehead against his. Their breaths heavy and mingling. Ele closes her eyes and relishes this feeling. The bustle of Paris sounds behind her, she can smell fresh bread baking, but mostly she focuses on Edoardo. The hands tangled in her hair, around her waist. The taste of him still on her lips. The softness in which he cradles her--always.

He was joking, but the truth is she would do any of those ridiculous things as long as she was with him.

“You’re an idiot,” she says, a small grin forming on her face, their foreheads still joined.

“I’m your idiot,” he replies petulantly, making Ele release a puff of air as she chuckles.

“I don’t care what we do,” she tells him. “In fact, I’m about to give you a run for your cheeseball money.”

Edoardo pulls away slightly to see Ele’s face. Her smile teases, but her eyes shine with fondness and intimacy.

“Try me.”

“I could not care less about what we do, Edoardo. I would go to every penis-shaped landmark with you--” she starts and Edoardo groans, “as long as you’re next to me.”

Eleonora takes a deep breath and places a small chaste kiss to his forehead, to his cheeks, to his lips.

“I’ll go with you anywhere,” she whispers. Suddenly the bustling city sounds fade away, and it’s just them, Eleonora and Edoardo, together. Her favorite place to be.

Turkey, Spain, Paris… they are nothing compared to Edoardo Incanti.

Edoardo’s smile is breathtaking, easily her favorite view of the entire trip. It’s slow and full, and his entire face lights up.

“You’re right. That was totally cheeseball.” He smiles before capturing her lips in a passionate but soft kiss. He pulls away and gives her a smaller smile, his Ele smile.

“Why don’t we go to the sewers and you can tell me how much you love me there. That’ll be way more romantic than at the Arc de Triomphe,” he whispers back and dodges the light smack Ele aims at him, laughing as he does.

“I take it all back,” Ele says, but both Edoardo and her know she’s full of shit.

She meant every word.

[eliniei]

Deal - A Johnny x Soda Request

Request from @shadowgirl2237

Prompt: A drunk Soda gets flirty with Johnny. 

Masterlist: here

Warnings: I guess if you have a problem with a little gayness? But if you do, you can gtfo

I was already laying on the couch when Sodapop Curtis stumbled through the front door, his hand wrapped around a paper bag that no doubt had a bottle of beer nestled inside. 

The overhead light was off, but I had been watching some late-night show, the soft glow of the television set illuminating enough of the room to make out the hallway. I had expected him to go on through and head to bed- maybe with a stop in the kitchen first to trash his booze. 

He’d probably been out drinking with Steve again.

What I’d give for a relationship like theirs. 

“Hey Soda,” I said, quietly. His brothers were already asleep and I didn’t want to wake them. 

Instead of heading to another room, he dropped down onto the couch. I scrunched my legs up, quickly, so that he didn’t sit on them. 

“Heyjohnnycake,” he slurred, tossing the long front of his honey-blonde hair back and giving me his most god-like smile. I sat up to give him some room as he tilted his bottle back and let the last dregs of beer drip down his throat, then let out the most obnoxious giggle. “Looks like I’mout.” 

“You and Steve out drag racin’ tonight?” I asked him. 

“Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah,” he said, setting the glass down on the coffee table in front of us. “Got some sa-weet moolah for winnin’, too.”

He stuck his thumb and forefinger in the chest pocket of his shirt and pulled out a roll of bills. He flashed them in my direction. 

“Dang,” I said, eyes wide, watching him wave the green in my face. “How much ya make?”

“Couplehundred,” he answered. “Darry’ll be so happy to have some extra cash.”

“Nah, I think Darry will kick your teeth in.”

“Whys-at?”

“Ya know he hates it when you put yourself in danger like that.” He dropped the money back into his pocket and reached out to pinch the skin of my cheek.

“Oh Johnny, you’re so adorable.”

I swatted his hand away. 

“Ow, man. That hurt.”

“Oh, sorry,” Soda said, sheepishly, red spreading across his cheeks. He smiled and leaned in towards me. “Ya wanna know somethin’, Johnnycake?”

“Uh, what?” I asked, starting to lean back, against the arm of the couch. 

He reached out and grabbed my shoulders, forcing me closer.

So close, I could feel his breath on my face- warm and moist. So close, that I could feel my own face heating up. 

“You got some really pretty eyes.”

We stared at each other for so long, silently, our breathing growing heavier by the second. His own brown eyes danced with excitement as he looked deeply into my own. 

Really, I thought he was going to-

“Ya know what we need?” 

His smooth voice, albeit drunk, easily broke my thoughts into a million letters and I focused back on him.

“W-what?”

Suddenly, Sodapop was up on his feet again. The quick movement made me jump backwards. His expression became incredibly serious. I waited for what felt like forever for the answer.

“More booze,” he said, matter-of-factly, holding one finger up in the air.

Well, after the moment they’d just had, his response felt...a little underwhelming. I sighed.

“I don’t think ya need more beer, Soda.”

“What are you, my mother?”

I stood up in front of him and put my hand around the middle of his back.

“Let’s get you to bed, huh?”

“Beeeeed?” he complained, his beer idea seemingly forgotten. “But that’s no fun.”

“Don’t you got work in the mornin’?” 

“So what?” He snaked his arm around my waist as I was trying to lead him down the hall and pulled me stark against his side. It made us both stumble and hit the wall. He giggled again. Hopefully, the sound wouldn’t wake his brothers up.

“Soda!” I whispered my reprimand as loud as I dared. 

“Okay, okay,” he said, quietly. “I’ll make you a deal.”

I opened the door to his own bedroom. I know he usually slept in Pony’s room, but I figured it’d be better not to bother the youngest brother. 

“Deal?” I asked, setting him down on the edge of the bed. 

He dropped down onto the covers with a happy sigh. What I didn’t expect was him grabbing my arm and pulling me down with him. I let out a gasp as I fell. 

“I’ll go to bed if you stay with me tonight.”

We laid side-by-side on the bed. He was staring into my eyes again- and my god, he was beautiful.

“Alright, fine. It’s a deal.”

[douxreviews]

Jessica Jones - ‘A.K.A. Customer Service is Standing By’ Review

“Any time you try and make something better, it’s 50-50 you’ll make it worse.”

Or, the one where Jessica meets the Big Bad and Trish gets her big shot.

Considering Jessica lost her spleen I thought she took the realization that Erik was the actual target rather well. Her pragmatism and her need for justice far outweigh the desire to make Erik pay. After all, he wasn’t the one that stabbed her. Of course it doesn’t stop her from using him as bait.

In some ways, Erik and Jessica are flip sides of the same coin. Neither is averse to breaking the odd rule (or law) here or there but they are fundamentally good people. They are just so damaged by their abilities and life in general that they self medicate with booze and sex to make it through the day. Yet in the face of an ocean’s worth of evil Jessica’s response is to wade in and try to make it better, one bucket at a time.  Conversely, discouraged by the prospect, Erik searches for higher ground. This is why she can’t let Erik’s marks slide by with just paying a fee but is fine with Erik keeping the payments.

All of which is prologue to the introduction of Gregory Sallinger, this season’s Big Bad. He’s a photographer, lawyer, psychologist, chemist, engineer, and former athlete. He also happens to be a serial killer that believes Jessica has proof of his misdeeds. All of which should make him a formidable opponent.

Consider me underwhelmed. If Gregory was half as intelligent as he thinks he is he might have noticed that Jessica recorded his whole rant, including his plans to set her up for assaulting him. Have villains learned nothing from The Incredibles? Stop monologuing!

In other news, I’m not sure what Jeri’s endgame is. Does she want one last fling with an old flame before the bed rails and transfer benches take over her life? Is this her way of taking the home care specialist’s advice? Does she think Kith will come running once she finds out what a schmuck Peter is and nurse Jeri till the bitter end? She could have had the first without all the manipulations. The latter is unrealistic on so many levels. Kith has no interest in being one of Jeri’s playthings. And I suspect Kith will recognize Jeri’s fingerprints all over her husband’s fall from grace regardless of how careful Malcolm is.

And what of Malcolm. Trish, for all her faults, hit him where it hurts. In deciding to “make his bones” working for Jeri, he’s made a Faustian bargain, and he knows it. However, it does not stop him from parlaying his skills into a sizable raise and a nicer office. I know Jessica treated him poorly but when he worked for her, at least his conscience was clear.

Trish’s conscience is clear too, although it shouldn’t be. Trish honestly believes she’s on the side of angels when she accuses Malcolm. Yet, she’s just traded in one addiction for another in the false belief that playing hero is the healthier alternative. Considering it has cost her apartment, led her to breaking and entering, assault, and nearly manslaughter, I beg to differ. And just as with drugs, it’s affecting her cognitive abilities. If Trish had been thinking straight, her first real crime fighting foray ending in a near-death experience would have given her pause. Instead, she jumps at the chance to work with Jessica tracking down her attacker. Proving Trish neither understands how fractured their relationship is nor that there is more to Jessica’s 180 than meets the eye. A season one Trish would have known better.

The discovery of Erik’s abilities and the introduction of the Big Bad made this feel more like a season opener. That’s not necessarily a bad thing but at this point, I was hoping for a little more forward progression and a little less set up. However, Jessica’s journey from despising the sight of Trish to her willingness to use her ex-best friend in the hope of taking down a serial killer was almost worth the price of admission.

3 out of 5 “teaching moment” weights

Parting Thoughts

In the comics, Erik Gelden was a bank robber known as Mind-Wave who had run-ins with both Daredevil and Punisher.  

Sal’s condition may have stabilized but what about her son that was thrown unconscious into the pool?

I’m going to go out on a limb and say that the blood on the money is either Jessica’s blood from the now clean knife or it isn’t human blood.

Quotes:

Erik: “Cut me some slack, Sal. I always come through.” Sal: “A few days late and a few grand light.” Erik: “At least I’m consistent.”

Jessica: “There are a lot of shitty people out there. There’s no reason for us to double up. Go find your own bad guy.”

Erik: “Our luck is changing.” Jessica: “Yeah, if you set the bar at being drowned and stabbed.”

Jessica: “Say I wasn’t here and you’d found out what he was doing, what would you have done.” Erik: “Asked for more money.”

Jessica: “I told you, I don’t rely on anyone.”

Erik: “We could spend the rest of our lives stopping bad guys and we would never even make a dent.”

Jeri: “A cheating, manipulative, narcissist like Peter isn’t worthy of your sympathy.” Malcolm: “Says she who’s without sin, right.”

Jeri: “I was doing you a favor. I don’t see what the problem is.” Kith: “Because you think of everything as a transaction.”

Erik: “Did you fly here or something? Do you need a ride?”

Jessica: “Gotcha, you stabbing piece of shit.”

Gregory: “Particle physics requires research. I figured you out in an afternoon.”

Erik: “Sal and I had a disagreement about punctuality.”

Jessica: “You make my life choices look good.”

Trish: “I’m happy to help. Thanks for calling.”

---

Shari loves sci-fi, fantasy, supernatural, and anything with a cape.

[stillinaincrad]

I really can't stress how much I know I feel like a broken record lately. I'm basically one of those hipster dbags wearing flannel in July, drinking PBR even though it tastes like sweaty socks, and talking in prose about 'it was better back when' about anything and everything.

But sometimes... sometimes it really was, especially with anime.

Just finished watching Date a Live from the beginning all the way up to the new episodes, even season 2 which I insisted I wouldn't. I will always say it - DAL is nothing significant, is nothing even particularly good, is just a title I've always really liked because it's fun and has some really original characters. The central story is actually pretty involved and well thought out, even though more than once it's strayed a little too far from and fanservice is overused to fill the void.

But the thing I think I like most is how no one studio has made more than one season of the show and there are four seasons now. AIC brought the world to life, and whereas I think they are the most guilty of focused ecchi - somehow with Origami especially - they really did Tohka justice. She's just nothing but great from hello. As is the entire cast, so many memorable and unique characters. IMS did season two and yeah... let's not go there, it was bad. But the characters were still the characters, just very flatly written and voiced, and the overall crafting was bleh at best. JC Staff did season 3 and it was a full-on revitalization - the animation was a massive rebound from 2, the characters were lovable again, and they really included everything they could from the source material to move the characters and story in an elevated way. Very well done. All three studios managed to keep the animation at least mostly similar, the character scores and music have been carried over - that military march when monitoring dates onboard Fraxinus is the epitome of the show's playfulness, I can't imagine episodes without it - and each has at least made an attempt to keep the characters true to themselves.

Until... uuuuggggggh, yes, here's where I say it - until now. Geek Toys is responsible for season 4, and I'm very not digging it. Every character not only looks the same, they look the same as every other minimal effort teenage here-and-forgotten anime that is churned out of Johnny Verbeck's western anime viewership snausage machine these days. It bores me how grievously plain it is. DAL has always had it's own style, now it looks like some 'Is This An... Anime?' release. They kept the music, so I'll give them that, but to the rest, why? Why change EVERYTHING now? Why simplify these decade-established characters and make them static af? Why make them indistinguishable from honestly every background character in every show ever? Why change an entire franchise SO MUCH? I know GT did the Date a Bullet spinoffs, which I admittedly never watched, but spinoffs are their own thing. For a studio that does not have many credits to their catalog, am sure they took this project on because of the fandom they'd inhereit (and because they were lowest bid lol), but so far am so underwhelmed that it's hard to even watch these goofballs I've spent the last 9yrs with.

I'll continue to give it a chance because I'm still a fan of this franchise, but the incredible prosaic makeover of everything is not my bag so far. I don't know why studios continue to do this kind of thing to a well-established brand, but it is out here in the world as-is now. I don't think it's fair to us as consumers, to the effort the other studios made to keep at least some semblance of continuity, or - and this one most of all - to the characters themselves, but it is what it is and our choice is to watch it or don't. And I'm sure I will in spite of it all.

But I mean, come on - we're two episodes deep in a new season and Fujibakama has yet to call anyone or thing lame. Did Geek Toys even watch the first three??