#fat loss vacation

[gulfcoastfitcation]

What Are The Roles Of  Yoga And Fitness Retreat In Weight Loss?

A yoga and fitness retreat is a vacation type focused on physical fitness, mental well-being, and relaxation. These retreats offer a structured program of yoga classes, fitness activities, and wellness services in a peaceful environment. Its goal is to promote overall health and wellness through balanced physical exercise, healthy eating, and relaxation. These retreats can be an excellent option for anyone to jump-start a healthy lifestyle, overcome a fitness plateau, or take a break from their daily routine. They also offer an opportunity to learn new skills and meet like-minded individuals.

Function Of Yoga And Fitness Retreat In Weight Loss

The Yoga and fitness retreat can play a significant role in weight loss by providing a structured environment. It promotes physical activity, healthy eating, and stress reduction. Here are some ways that these retreats can contribute to weight loss:

1. Healthy Eating Creates A Calorie Deficit

A yoga and fat loss camp in St Petersburg, FL offers healthy meal plans focussing on whole, nutrient-dense foods. These meals provide the necessary nutrients to fuel physical activity and promote weight loss. By following a healthy eating plan, individuals can reduce their overall calorie intake for weight loss.

2. Increased Physical Activity Burns Calories

Yoga and fitness retreats typically include many physical activities, such as yoga, Pilates, hiking, or strength training. These activities can help to burn calories, build muscle, and improve overall physical fitness. Engaging in physical activity is essential for weight loss because it helps to increase metabolism and burn excess calories.

3. Stress Reduction For Successful Weight Loss

Stress is a significant contributor to weight gain and difficulty losing weight. Yoga and meditation are tools for effectively reducing stress and promoting relaxation. By reducing stress levels, individuals can improve their overall mental health. Thus, their chances of successful weight loss are enhanced through a fat-loss vacation.

Join The Pick-Of-The-Bunch Camp For Yoga And Fitness Retreat!

The Yoga and fitness retreat can significantly help weight loss by promoting physical activity, healthy eating, stress reduction, etc. By providing a supportive and structured environment, these retreats can help individuals to achieve their weight loss goals. Hence, establish healthy lifestyle habits for long-term success. You can also get a long-term healthy lifestyle habit with the help of Gulfcoast Fitcation. Contact them and enroll in the best fitness camp.

[judestarkeymccartney]

Let's Talk About Body Image While on Vacation

[bee-wg]

Year 3:

Now that I think about it, football has been a constant in my life for five years now. I’m not sure if I enjoy football anymore; it used to be about the fun we have passing the ball, now it’s all about the stats or the perfect form. 

I stood up from the bleachers to hand Brad his towel.

“I’m going to leave the team, Brad,” I said.

“What? Where did this come from?” He said frantically.

“Everyone knows I’m still on the team because you’re the team’s captain now,” I said.

“I don’t want to cause tension between you and Coach. There’s nothing I could do wobbling around the field anyway,” I added.

“Dude, you know I started playing football because of you, right?” Brad said.

“Bradley, relax. I’m not dead. You can come over to my house whenever you want.” I said.

“Theo can make you some lemon pudding cakes if you want to come,” hopefully this will calm him.

“Fine. Just so you know, I’m not happy about this,” he said, sounding like a brat.

“Okay, got it. Have fun at the party,” I chuckled.

“I won’t. I’m going to make the DJ play Lana Del Rey,” he said before entering the locker room.

There might be an oversight of me quitting football.

It’s literally the reason why I quit. I don’t know why it never crossed my mind.

How the fuck am I going to lose weight now?

“Maybe I would’ve thought it if the word, “exercise” was anywhere on my to-do list this past year,” the voice from the back of my head said.

Shut up, rational thought. I was just a little too cocky, that’s all.

My mind spins around the paths I could take to shed the fat.

Back to the gym for the bodybuilders to laugh at me jiggling like a puddle of slime on the treadmill.

No. Hard no.

Stop eating whatever Theo puts in front of my face.

Productive, but I’d rather die than miss out on the joy of the world.

Post my weight loss journey edits on social media, reminiscing on my rock-hard abs like a depressed, fat person.

No? No, actually it might just work.

My thumbs got to work. It took me an hour to choose a profile picture that represents me. I could go for a vacation photo by the beach, or the classic black and white moody gym pic. Except, I don’t have a picture of myself on my phone, so I chose the picture of an orange cat eating a banana.

With my camera set up, in my favourite green tank top. I pressed record.

It was an embarrassing experience editing myself, watching my belly sway every time I made a movement. In the end, I closed my eyes and uploaded the video.

“Oh! First comment already.” I said.

“Look at those milkers spilling out the tanks!”

3. Post my weight loss journey edits on social media, reminiscing on my rock-hard abs like a depressed, fat person.

The following weeks consisted of me eating my feelings. At least half of my classes are online this semester. I can be embarrassed in peace.

The pounds kept creeping up with each spoon of ice cream down my throat. In the blink of an eye, I am dangerously close to 300 pounds.

I finally worked up the courage to ask during a normal family dinner.

“Honey, what happened? You’re not eating as fast as usual. Is Theo not cooking enough?” Mom asked.

“No, Mom, I just…I just hope you guys can ease up with your little cooking competitions.”

“Oh honey, you know Theo and I will stop with the food whenever you ask.” Mom tries to reassure me.

“No! Obviously don’t stop the food. It’s just that I’ve been blowing up like a pig and I don’t know what to do about it.” I said.

“I didn’t know you were sad about it. I just want my family to be happy, you look the happiest when you eat,” Mom said

“It wouldn’t have helped when you guys lost for the past two years,” Mom added.

“Well, Dad likes to eat better, and no one eats like him,” I replied. 

“I’m sure my cooking was the reason we won. David is a gym teacher, he walks off the food easily,” Mom said.

“Theo is a professional though, no offence but no one on the planet cooks like him. I’m sure football was the reason we lost,” I said, trying to talk some sense into her.

Theo stares at us with wide eyes.

“Jacob, I’m sure you didn’t mean it,” Mom said with a blank face.

“You know what? Keep doing your competition, this time again next year we’ll see who’s the winner,” I said.

I am clearly a failure at losing weight. The only thing I’m good at is eating. If I’m going to gain weight anyway, I’m going to go all out and win this shit once and for all. Once this is settled, I can get back to normal. Not wanting to disappoint Theo when we lose again was probably the thing holding me back. I can’t wait to eat all the delicious things Theo is- I can’t wait for this to be over.

“Alright, Jay,” she turned to Theo and said.

“Theo, my boy. I’m looking forward to seeing the results next year,” Mom said with a determined smile.

Everyone knows not to mess with Mom when she has that look. Even then, I feel like we could still win. Theo’s food is hypnotic already when I am restrained; imagine what it will do to me when I’m going all out.

“What’s going on again?” Dad asked with cheeks full of pasta.

“Don’t worry baby, you just need to eat a little more next year,” Mom answered.

“Okay, as long as I get my lasagnas,” Dad said.

Later at night, struggling to sleep, I contemplated on the bad decisions I’ve made. This one might take the crown to be the stupidest thing I’ve done. Yet, I don’t regret it.

“You didn’t have to stand up for me,” Theo said.

“It’s the least I can do when you wake up early to prep for my food, or go off on the weekends for groceries when you could’ve been doing anything else,” I explained.

“Thank you so much, Jay. You don’t know how much this means to me. My family wanted me to do anything other than cooking, but you guys have been nothing but supportive,” he said.

I smiled at the ceiling. The gremlin is nicer than I remember.

“Now, I won’t allow you to slack anymore with the amount you’re eating. Not until the competition ends.”

Huh?

Theo had stuck to his word and increased the amount he was cooking. I am now eating the amount of three people in each spread-out meal, still lacking behind Dad’s impressive five person’s amount per meal. So I have been playing catch up with him this entire month.

I realized quickly that I had underestimated the gap between Dad and my appetite. In the last few years, for the most part, I have been eating whatever I want, leaving the rest to Dad. With the exception of eating for the team once a week, I have been slacking. That was quite a hard pill to swallow. I’m 300 pounds, yet not doing a good job as a fatass. How is that possible?

So far I have gained about 23 pounds in the past two months. Normally, I would freak out and have a breakdown in bed because I’ve gained more than my freshman year in two months. Right now with my messed up head, all I can think about is how far I am behind. If we lose this again, it would be once and for all, and I would never let myself live this down. Theo deserves better with how good he’s been treating me.

With my new bulk, the stairs have been an increasing challenge. So, a few weeks ago I moved downstairs to a tiny guest room that was converted to a storage room.

The moment I moved down, I could hear Theo’s voice yelling, “Yes, Finally! Goodbye insomnia,” In my old bedroom. Before, I would’ve yelled for the brat to shut up. Now, with my stomach full. I just wanted a nap in peace.

It took me no time to adjust to the new arrangement. With more time home from all the online classes, I get to be as lazy as I want. Dad has a similar arrangement at home. He retired from being a high school gym teacher and football coach, now he tutors history at home. He also abandoned his hobby of brewing in order to laze on the sofa all day.

On weekdays, Theo would leave an abundance of food for me to consume with a list of how I should eat them to expand my capacity. The weekends are like heaven. From the moment I woke up, Theo would prepare delicious appetizers and pancakes for me. From then on, I would have a constant stream of food flowing into my mouth every thirty minutes. Sometimes, I would move my hands and my mouth would start to chew unconsciously. Alarming, but helpful. 

My belly started to expand outwards on my lap each day as I sat in front of the computer. The arm rest would feel more snug when I move around.

I have now discovered the perks of being a fatass. I can explore things I never had time to do, like the anime Brad has been begging me to watch, games I always wanted to play. Best of all is to experience all of these without moving an inch. These are the things I would definitely look back on with fondness when the competition ends.

***

Today is my rare outing of the month; the bus is late again but I don’t blame them this time. The downpour of rain is gathering at the clogged sewer, creating a puddle. People are supposed to grow out of stepping in puddles when they’re kids. These undeveloped assholes apparently didn’t. Several cars saw the puddle and decided to splash it straight to my face.

It’s fine. It’s all fine. I will feel better later.

I walked a small trail after getting off the bus.

Great. The angels decide to stop peeing from the heavens when I’m about to get inside.

Dad is buying a new SUV, maybe I can drive it next time. It’s too big to sneak off though.

I thought as I skipped through the stone pathway. The usual grass is covered by the water, creating a small pond.

“Annyeonghaseyo,” I said to the door cam.

After pressing the doorbell several times, it replied.

"안녕, fuck boy. Back so soon?" Number Seven said.

“Yeah, yeah. Just open the damn door,” I said, trying to hurry the fucker.

Number Seven’s face appears in front of me.

“You’re soaked! Come on in,” he said.

His house appears to be orderly. Clean. He must’ve had another fatass here not long ago.

“Woah, you look—Wait, let me guess. Another fifteen pounds since last time?” He asked.

“Come on, let’s cut to the chase. I really need it right now,” I urged.

“Hahaha, not even a shower. Desperate much?” He said.

I walked inside his bedroom, dimmed the lights and took off my shirt.

He walked towards me. Grabbing me by the belly hang in one hand, he pulls down my underwear, causing my ass to vibrate.

“Fuuuuck, can you take it out first?” I asked, trying not to moan.

“Sure, you think you’re ready for me today?” He asked.

“Yeah, I think so,” I answered. 

He slid his hand behind, right down my ass crack and slowly pulled the vibrator off. I applied it before leaving home, without accounting for the possibility of the bus delay.

“Mmmmph, fuck,” I groaned.

I’ve been training towards today for a while. In the beginning, I would come to his house and he would suck me off. If I’m feeling experimental, I would suck him off. It stayed like that for about a year and he never complained. Then I asked him for more. He would start fucking me between my moobs or between my ass but never enter. One day, I told him I was ready for him to start fucking me.

Big mistake.

He’s a manwhore for a reason. I didn’t think an 8-inch would be so hard to take. How the girls and twinks take them in porn is beyond me. It was painful when he entered, even when he said he had “loosened my hole” with his fingers. I shouldn’t have believed him, the fucking thing was massive.

After the incident, he gave me small dildos and vibrators to get used to it. We eventually worked our way up the scale until the one he’s holding now. Why did I do all this work to have a men’s dick in my ass? Who knows. I have already accepted that I’ve lost it.

He sucked on my nipple suddenly. The sensation took me by surprise.

“Dude, some warnings please,” I asked.

“Yeah, sorry. Those tits are just so plumped. Your nipples have grown larger than my thumbs now,” he said, about to continue.

“OKAY, I get it. Can you get to work now?” I asked.

My boobs are what everyone thinks about when they see me these days. I’m sick of it.

“Hahahaha, can’t wait to be fucked, my pig?” He said before pushing me down the mattress.

I held my belly to stop it from jiggling. 

He raised one of my legs and opened the bottle of lube with his teeth.

“There’s something by the pillow. Put it in your mouth. It will distract you and dull the initial pain,” Number Seven instructed.

I reached out to grab a—frosted pound cake?

I’ve never seen people doing this in porn, but I’m smart enough to know not everything in porn is real. 

With my mouth full of cake, I spread out my legs, trying to relax so I don’t end up like last time.

He pushed two fingers in, slowly massaging me, then three fingers to stretch my hole. When the frosting melted in my mouth and I finished the chunk of the cake, he signalled me that he was done.

Another piece of the pound cake fills my mouth when he aligns his cock to my hole. He was right, I was fully consumed by the sweetness to notice any discomfort. I quickly swallowed the cake so he could proceed. 

It was unbearably slow as he entered. I don’t understand what all the fuss is about with people bottoming.

He kept asking for reassurance. At this point I just want him to st—

“A-ahhhh oh shiiit!” I moaned.

“Fuuuuuck, what the hell was that?” I screamed.

I must have been too loud and spooked him.

“Are you alright? Sh-should I call an ambulance?” He asked.

“No! Don’t stop, please,” I begged

“Okay, just so you know, I’m not all the way in,” He said.

How? This is already longer than any toys I’ve put in there.

“Gnghhhhh~” I moaned as he thrusts all the way to the bottom.

He kept a steady pace all the way in then almost all the way out, leaving me feeling empty.

“Hurry! Faster,” I asked, almost in tears.

He looked at me with a devious smile and thrust right into the spot.

“Mphn- Yes! Keep going,” I urged.

Every small movement rubbing my G-spot feels like masturbating for hours without release.

He thrusts quicker with more force, causing my belly and moobs to shake violently. 

I try to stabilize my belly with my hand before trying to reach my throbbing cock.

“Help, I-aghh fuck, I need to touch my dick,” I asked.

“Let go of your belly, fat boy. Or I’ll stop,” He said.

Immediately, my belly returned to wobble violently.

“I can’t believe you turned into such a pathetic horny mess in such a short time,” He said.

”Come on, Seven. I just need you to hit that spot. Please, I’ll do anything!” I begged.

He keeps deliberately missing it. I need to be fucked there!

“Keep your hands on your nipples,” he ordered.

The over-sensitive nipples drive my weeping cock into a frenzy.

Fuck, I need to touch my cock right now. If only my fucking belly is not on the way.

“You know, when I first saw you, I thought you were the kind of jock to gain a beer belly in college, and not get fat until you turn thirty,” he said, before ramming straight into my prostate.

“Fuuuuck yeahhh,” I said unintelligently. 

“You are much more of a pig than I realized,” he said, thrusting straight into it again.

“Helll yeahhh,” I said, trying to rob my ass to his dick.

“How do you feel seeing your bubble butt balloons four times the original size?” He asked, followed by another thrust. 

“I fucking love it! I love how it wobbles around whenever I walk!” I said, moving my jiggling ass back to his dick again.

“How do you feel seeing your abs growing before your eyes, knowing you could stop it if you just stop eating?”Another thrust.

“I can’t help it! I love eating too much!” Maybe I am meant to be a fat ass.

“Right answer. Now you’ll get your reward,” he said and sped up, hitting the spot perfectly every time.

I imagine his face to be someone else, someone far from my league.

My cock rubbed against my sensitive underbelly, and I shot out jets of cum for what felt like forever.

As white clouded my vision, a euphoric relief spread over my body, melting me into the mattress.

“You passing out again, fuck boy?” Seven asked.

“No, just enjoying the bliss. I can’t believe so many men in the world are missing out on this,” My hole already feels empty. How am I going to go back from this?

“Aww man, I’m all sticky and shit,” I examined my body, cum shots and rain definitely don’t mix well together. Some of them even got between the fat folds. I swipe my finger in between the fat. “Oof, I stink too.”

Seven looked at me and signed. “You’re somehow still a stupid jock inside.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” I asked.

“I got you the fast food you asked for,” he said.

“Yes!” I rushed to the kitchen.

Ignoring his stupid laugh, I microwaved the burger and fries.

The breeze of the air conditioning reminds me of something.

“Shit, I ran out here naked.”

When I ran back, he had already put my clothes in the dryer, and I got into the shower.

When I got out, Seven brought me an old shirt I left here. It fits me like a glove with half my belly exposed. He stopped laughing when I was about to throw myself on him, then brought out a shirt with the Flash’s symbol on. Probably from another fat ass he fucks. The shirt still looks painted on, revealing the shape of my nipple and the dent of my belly button. At least he’s driving me home.

***

Staying at home has been a life-altering experience. 

The only time I ever move is going out of the bed to the desk, or to the bathroom. All I have to do is sit back, relax, and eat some fried food. 

With more time with myself. I’ve realized how much I dislike all the people in school that only approached me because I was one of the football jocks. I could’ve been anyone. Now, I am me. Not a worry about whether or not I’m muscular enough like other jocks, just a bigger Jay.

Sitting beside me, Dad scratched his belly and released a belch without a care in the world. He has adapted to fat guy mannerisms quickly. I’m catching up too. Today is movie night, usually we have pizzas and beers. We started this when the football season came, he asked to skip it. It was the first time we’ve skipped watching a Super Bowl season. I guess I’m not the only one losing interest in the sport. We decided to watch the Lin-Manuel Miranda Monkey movie instead.

Being on the couch with Dad made me realize I was getting closer to my goal. I can’t wait to see the results.

***

“Hell yeah, my man, you can do it!” Brad said, slapping my shoulder.

“What are you doing here?” I asked

“You said I can come in whenever I like,” he replied.

He’s been breaking into my house for no reason, just to stay on the second floor the entire time doing god knows what.

“I’ve brought some beef jerky here to celebrate,” Brad said.  

The scale has been set up, we’re only waiting on Mom. They’re doing some last minute catch up; mom is using a funnel to pour some milkshake in him. I am not concerned though, sticking to Theo’s strict diet every day has not been easy. I have to eat until my stomach is fully bloated. Every morning, I watch my belly deflate a little less, every evening, it bloats even further. 

“Don’t worry, Jay. We’ve got this,” Theo assured me.

“By the way, what are we doing again?” Brad asked.

Dad came out, looking absolutely massive. With Mom on his side, he stepped on the scale.

The numbers keep going up and don't seem to be stopping.

300-350-392-400-443

Holy shit, Dad gained a hundred and forty pounds this year. 

With more uncertainty, I took my step on the scale.

“Woo-Hoo, Jay man, you got this!” Brad shouted quietly.

I try to look under to see the number, but my belly is too big for me to see the scale.

Theo stepped closer and read. 

“Four Hundred and fifty yes!” Theo cheered.

“I won? Yes, finally!” I said and did a little jump.

The scale made a “Pop” noise.

“Oh! Sorry, Mom. I know this is really expensive.”

“Don’t worry, sweetie. We need to upgrade anyway,” Mom said, then she walked towards Theo.

“Congratulations Theo, you made me pull out every trick in my book. It’s so nice seeing you improve so much in front of my eyes, in terms, you pushed me to improve too,” Mom said, then hugged Theo.

“I can’t believe my boy is bigger than me now. Excellent work, Jay!” Dad said and hugged me, too.

Last time I was bigger than Dad I had sculpted abs, the body I dreamed of. This time, I’m almost three times the size as I was, fully covered with fat. Yet, I feel less empty inside.

“Thank you Dad,” I said, hugging him back. 

After all this time, I finally have a body I like being in. The belly doesn't look so wrong on me anymore.

Chapter 4 ->

[vanteguccir]

── ୨୧ !　𝗔𝗧𝗘𝗟𝗢𝗣𝗛𝗢𝗕𝗜𝗔

　　　　　　　　𝒎𝒂𝒕𝒕 𝒔𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒐𝒍𝒐 x reader

SUMMARY: Where Y/N has suffered with an eating disorder for years, but lately, - because of the some "fans" and social media - her insecurities have been taking her to a more than dangerous path, which she couldn't get out without help.

WARNING: anorex!a, eating disorder, comparison, self sabotage, self hatred, panic attack, pure angst... PLEASE read with caution!

REQUESTED?: No.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: That is my work, I DON'T authorize any plagiarism! | English isn't my first language, so I'm sorry if there's any grammar error.

　　　༻✦༺ 　༻✧༺　༻✦༺

Atelophobia; the fear of not being good enough.

This was one of the millions of fears and problems that haunted Y/N's mind. Her head convinced her a long time ago that she simply wasn't enough; for her school teachers, for her classmates, for her friends, for her parents, past boyfriends... not even for herself.

This led her to listen to what others said and thought about herself since she was very young, the desire to be perfect and within society's standards in all aspects of a human being consumed her; personality, thoughts, knowledge... body.

She was told all the time how she should behave, act, and be. She was just a child, but that didn't seem to matter to those who did it, clogging her up with responsibilities and comparisons.

One thing led to another. Her desperation to be the best at everything started to include her own body. "Fat" was the first word people used to describe her. She had no control over the situations around her, but she had control over her weight.

Y/N was always the biggest girl in her class, and her classmates seemed to love reminding her of that; often being excluded from work groups, forgotten in groups of friends, or not chosen in any team during Physical Education classes.

Until the year when everything changed. During the school vacation, she decided to change, intending to return to school as a new girl. The new cycle started well, Y/N saw a nutritionist, cutting out all fatty foods from her routine and consuming only healthy ones. She started going to the gym daily, doing the recommended training time. All of this led her to lose a significant amount of weight.

Soon, the vacation was over, and with that, the negative comments from her classmates were replaced by positive comments. Girls asking what she had done to lose weight like that, searching for advice and seeing her as a miracle. Boys saying how changed and prettier she looked.

How could she not fall in love with her own illness?

So, that made her feel good. Too good... her mind began to yearn to become thinner, more beautiful, just to hear more from others. And then the healthy diet and the one hour training at the gym were no longer enough for her. She needed more if she wanted to be better.

Y/N then intensified her training, staying at the gym for 2 hours per day, doing more reps with more weight. She crossed out several foods from the list of permitted that her nutritionist had made, choosing for herself the ones she thought were ideal, until it had almost nothing left.

Her brain self-sabotaged so that she wouldn't go out with her friends, because they would definitely want to eat somewhere and she wouldn't be able to.

She no longer participated in family dinners, creating excuses so as not to be forced to sit at the table and eat.

Her mind convinced her that she wasn't thin enough to satisfy her boyfriends' sexual and non-sexual desires, which made her pull away during or at the beginning of any relationship she had until the guy got tired, or she simply ended it.

She spent hours on the internet, searching for sensational diets that reduced daily calories to 500 or less, promising extraordinary weight loss. In addition to getting on the scale at least 4 times a day, hoping for a miracle every time she looked at the numbers.

Y/N replaced her eating schedules with random hobbies like drawing, learning a new instrument, or picking flowers from her garden to make flower crowns, occupying her time and mind.

Some things scared her, her period hadn't come in months, clumps of hair fell out every time she ran her hands through it. Her vision went dark at least 3 times a day. Her body shivered from the complete cold of her insides, and her stomach hurt more than usual.

But she had to suffer them alone since she had no one to talk to about, always alone.

Until Y/N met Matt.

Matt was the boy who made her want to get better. He encouraged her to look for a hospital that fit her preferences, where Y/N finally began to receive psychiatric and psychological care.

Her diet changed for the better, into foods that Y/N saw as safe. She did not abandon the gym but reduced the weight and time, maintaining her training just for the health of her muscles, as she had lost a lot of lean mass during her worst moment.

The calculator in her head finally stopped. Her eyes started seeing food as just food and not as the enemy. Her stomach craved for all the snacks she loved, and she finally ate them, without feeling guilty.

Matt was so thoughtful about her entire situation, having suffered himself with extreme anxiety from a young age. He could tell he understood in parts what it was like to live with a mental illness.

So he helped her maintain her healthy diet and eat all her daily meals within her limit - often opting to eat together in their room, since he knew the trepidation Y/N still felt about doing it in front of other people.

Matt praised her in every possible situation, trying not to be extreme but to show his intense love and support for the girl. All of that was helping her a lot.

Until it wasn't.

Y/N and Matt never hid their relationship from the public, the girl knew how famous her boyfriend was and how difficult it could be to keep their relationship hidden, they would be seen together at one time or another.

So it wasn't surprising that the girl appeared in some of the triplets' pictures sometimes, and that's what happened that Friday.

As usual, Nick posted a photo dump on the triplets Instagram to promote the publication of their new car video, and one of the photos was of Matt and Y/N, specifically one in which the two were sitting on the couch in their living room, the girl had her legs draped over Matt's thighs, while his tattooed arm wrapped tightly around her waist, huge smiles decorating their faces.

It was a cute photo, but apparently, that wasn't what fans thought.

While Matt and his brothers were in the kitchen, preparing healthy snacks - a habit they built through the girl, but which in the end helped everyone -, Y/N was lying on her bed in the room she shared with Matt, wrapped in too-warm covers, holding her phone with her right hand while her left hand wrapped around her stomach in an almost painful grip.

Her thumb scrolled through the comments screen beneath the post. Almost everyone there talking about her picture with Matt.

"Matt can do so much better than her"

"I really don't know what he saw in her"

"She's going to end up crushing him like that"

"I'll pay for the gym for her if that's the price for Matt to have a worthy girlfriend"

And so on, it was as if they knew all of Y/N's weaknesses.

Some fans of them could be cruel when they wanted to, and Y/N knew this by heart since seeing Nick crying several times because he was body shamed, or when she noticed Chris being quieter than usual after reading comments saying how loud he was and how that was unbearable.

Her heart was crushed every time she saw Matt suffer in silence until he couldn't hold it in any longer and finally cried in her lap for hours after reading people saying how insignificant and quiet he was in the videos.

Even though a huge mass of the fandom loved them with all their hearts and took care of them as much as the distance of a phone screen allowed, it still wasn't enough to swallow the hate comments.

But when it came to Y/N, more than half of the fandom turned against her. Maybe out of envy, but it was obvious that the girl didn't see it that way. She was convinced that they were right.

Her heart tightened as if someone was crushing it with their bare hands. The air seemed to escape her lungs, and the lunch she ate hours before seemed to want to go up her throat. Her fingers trembled as she held her stomach, feeling everything she had and didn't have there. Her eyes began to water, her lips quivering from the tears that wanted to escape.

Y/N quickly moved her finger to the back button, hoping to break out of the horrible cycle she was about to enter. A loud sob escaped her lips when, upon finally leaving the post, her feed reloaded, and a picture of a model that Y/N followed and admired appeared.

Comparison was her biggest enemy.

Negative thoughts about herself began to pollute her mind, everything around her becoming a fog. The sounds coming from the kitchen became muffled to her ears. Y/N's right hand - which was holding her phone - was gripping the device in such a way that her fingers turned white. Painful sobs escaped her mouth as her eyes remained fixed on the woman's perfect figure.

Why can't I be like her?

The longing for the sensations she felt when she starved hit her chest hard. The desire to want to be as thin as before - or more - filled her.

It didn't take long, and soon, the bedroom door was slowly opened, Matt's silhouette appearing behind it. His face was lit up with a smile - probably because of some joke his brothers made - while his right hand held a plate with two sandwiches.

His cheerful expression was replaced by a frown of concern. Matt quickly closed the door with his feet, walking towards the bed, haphazardly placing the plate on the nearest bedside table before sitting down on the mattress.

His hands flew to Y/N's waist, stopping over her own hand that was squeezing her skin with a force that was sure to leave it bruised.

The girl seemed to wake up from her trance, lifting her head and meeting Matt's calming - but worried - gaze. She cried harder as she imagined what her boyfriend would be thinking of her now.

Automatically, her mind started to play her current state, messy hair, swollen and red face, skin wet with tears, eyes half closed and mouth open, allowing sobs to escape from there.

"M-Matt-" Her sentence was cut off by a sob, her eyes closing tightly.

Matt took a deep breath, trying to process what to do next. His left hand - the one that didn't cover hers - slowly took the phone, taking it out of his girl's death grip. He glanced briefly at the screen, automatically understanding what was happening before locking it and putting the device aside.

He moved his body so that it was closer to hers, resting his hand on her spine and guiding her until she laid her head on his chest, caressing the area below his fingers.

Matt felt his heart break with every tremble that rocked the body beneath his caused by the sobs. If he could take that pain away from his girlfriend, he would.

"It's okay, baby, let it out. I'm right here." He cooed, his fingers caressed the tangled strands of her hair lightly, stroking the area while moving his upper body back and forth, slowly calming his girlfriend.

"Ma-Matty-" Y/N's voice was weak, wobbly from the pain in her heart.

Matt removed his hand from hers for a few seconds, stretching it to the bedside table - where the plate was -, taking the bottle of water that Y/N always filled before going to sleep. He opened the lid in one quick movement, bringing it close to his girl's face.

"Come on, my love. Sit down for a moment and take a sip of water. Please." The boy asked in a soft voice, helping Y/N straighten her posture before bringing the bottle closer to her lips, helping her take a few small sips of the contents.

He closed the bottle after making sure she was satisfied, placing it on the mattress before turning his attention to Y/N again. He brushed away the strands of hair from her face, tucking them behind her ear.

"What if they're right?" She asked in a whisper, catching her bottom lip between her teeth in an attempt to keep from crying.

"No, they aren't." Matt's tone was convincing, as if he was absolutely sure of what he was saying. "You are not worse than others because of your weight. You look great as you are. Your body is perfect, do you know why? Because he's healthy enough to carry you around and take care of you." The boy held her hands lightly, stroking the back of her fingers gently as he looked into her eyes. "The recovery journey is not easy, I remember the words your psychologist said to me when we had that session together. I imagine your head when you see clothes getting tighter, and these comments certainly make you want to give up, I know you, baby."

He paused momentarily, watching her reactions carefully.

Y/N knew that, recovery was hard work. Not wanting to die was hard work.

"Recovery is not a race. You don't have to feel guilty about taking less or more time than you originally thought or having relapses from time to time. This is part of the process, and I want you to understand this. You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen in my entire life. When I look at the most beautiful things, I remember you. In the pink tulips of the flower shop across the street, in the Cassiopeia constellation, in the bees that fly in our garden and in the greenest tree I have ever seen." Y/N let out a tearful laugh when she heard him mention the tree, knowing his immense love for nature. "Because you're pretty like them."

"I-I'm sorry." The girl whispered, sniffling then lowering her gaze in shame. "I... I saw the photos that Nick posted, and there were comments..." She shook her head, closing her eyes tightly.

"Oh baby." He leaned slightly over Y/N, sealing his lips over her warm forehead. "If you want to apologize, let me do it. If you went through this now, it was because of me."

"No, Matt. It was never and will never be your fault." Y/N shook her head, wiping her eyes momentarily with the sleeve of her - his - hoodie, sniffling slightly before taking one of Matt's hands, intertwining their fingers. "You don't control people, much less through the internet. They will always talk a lot because they are behind a screen that protects them, but that will never be your fault. I would rather go through this a thousand times and have you with me than never have you again."

"I understand." He paused momentarily. "Please, don't let it get to that point again while you're alone. If you see something that upsets you or makes you feel bad, turn it off instantly and call me. I want to be there to help you. I want to be there for you." The brunette asked, staring at her eyes.

Y/N sighed, nodding her head and leaning slightly closer to him, resting her forehead on Matt's shoulder, exhaling the softening scent and perfume that exuded from the fabric of the hoddie on his body.

Her eyes burned from the tears she shed, closing them tightly to prevent more from falling, her heart still feeling sore from everything.

"If you want, we can contact that psychologist again, the one who helped you throughout the process at the hospital." Matt lowered his head, bringing his face closer to the back of Y/N's head, pressing his lips against his girl's hair, closing his eyes as he felt the warmth of her body close to his. "I want to attend some sessions just like we did last time, so I understand how I can help you this time."

Y/N felt her heart warm instantly, her free hand snaking to Matt's thigh closest to her, stroking the covered skin lightly.

"Okay."

Matt loved Y/N more than he loved himself, and he would make sure that she understood that she wasn't alone anymore.

taglist:

@lustfulslxt @ladybunny44 @worldlxvlys @earth2starkey @remussbitch @freshloveforthefit @il0vebeingdelulu @sturniolowhore @mimi-luvzyu @alorsxsturn @urfavgirllyyyyy @domizzzsstuff @sturnizd @hearts4chris @cupidzsq @dracoflaco @leah-loves-lilies @tylerthecreatorsrealwife

(If you want to be added to the taglist, go to this post)

[peachy-wolfhard]

just like heaven

Domestic life lawl, toge’s is mainly texting, sorry if u dont like the cure im goth and didnt know what other band to put

Includes in order: Megumi Fushiguro, Toge Inumaki, Yuta Okkotsu, Noritoshi Kamo

Warnings: food mention, halloween in noritoshi’s, one swear word, skeleton in the bath drinking a martini

It's finally starting to cool down. The once humid and sticky house was now cool and chilly, the rain outside growing louder and louder. The occasional lightning strike and thunder boom sends you cuddling closer and closer to your boyfriend.

“If you get any closer you're gonna be in my skin,” he chuckles, wrapping his arms around you. 

“What do you want for dinner? I was thinking of ordering since we're being lazy today,” Megumi stretches his arms out, back arching off the bed and then flopping down with a groan.

“Mmm, fries,” wrapping yourself around him again as he orders dinner.

“Who’s gonna get it?” “Rock, paper scissors?” “sweet”

As you two play, best two out of three, the delivery driver knocks on the door. Taking the loss, Megumi opens the door.

----

If you have anything u want from da store lemme know pookie :3 lub u

Uhhh….hmmmmm.

Those noodles i rlly like and popcorn plzzzz :3 lub u too

WAIT!!!!! lemme get uhhhh those rlly fat apples

How many fat ass apples light of my life?

Oml i love u sm erm like 2 ! thank u babylub

I love U more. Be back soon !

“Stinky boy, I'm home!” you call out, setting the small amount of groceries down. Toge hops down the stairs, three at a time, his stomps echoing throughout the house.

“HONEY!” he shouts as he lunges for you, tackling you to the ground.

“Did you miss me?” “Salmon,” he hums nuzzling into your arm.

----

“When have you EVER wore this?” you shout from the closet, lifting up a gaudy hot pink and yellow Hawaiian shirt. Your boyfriend gets up from the floor, leaping over the massive ‘donate’ pile.

“OH! We cant get rid of this one,” Yuta explains, taking the shirt from your hand to look at fondly.

“This was the shirt Toge got me when we went on vacation!”

Yuta throws it in the ‘keep’ pile. Yuta goes back to his spot organizing the under the bed drawers. Turning on the TV, you start to play your joint playlist. Tossing Yuta the remote so he can change the song. Shuffling through the many songs, he stops on The Cure. Getting up Yuta joins you in the closet, asking to dance.

----

It was finally fall, despite being a month early you and your boyfriend were decorating for Halloween. Noritoshi thought it was a little early for halloween celebrations however.

“Love, the leaves aren't even falling yet. Don't you think we should wait a bit?" he calls, setting the ceramic light-up cat down.

“The calendar says it's fall so the Halloween decorations are going up,” calling back, setting the dancing Hello Kitty zombie in the entryway. Noritoshi playfully rolls his eyes and continues grabbing random items. Opening one of the many small boxes and unwrapping it, he reveals a small skeleton in a bathtub drinking a martini.

“Do we need to put him out this year? It’s uncomfortable seeing him when I'm taking a shower,” he tries to say, laughing every time he looks down at the skeleton.

[sirenpearldust]

Butter cookies

Pair: Azriel x Reader

Word count: 1.192

Warnings: fluff

“You look like an overgrown pigeon standing at my door. Come inside before you startle my neighbours,” she snapped, huffing.

His shadows wandered towards her easing her annoyance over being woken up from her slumber by the deranged bat - who was about to enter her domain.

She adjusted her clothes, embarrassed of wearing a tiny red nightdress in front of him. The white granny cardigan, her attempt of modesty in her hurry to open the door.

Strolling through her living room she opened the curtains, welcoming the sunlight in; unlocking the balcony door the summer breeze cleared the stuffy air.

“You do realise it’s midday,” he chuckled quietly, cutting the white roses before putting them in the blue porcelain vase he’d bought her on her 300th birthday.

“Yeah, yeah, don’t patronise me,“ she dismissed his comment with a wave of her hand.

The summer breeze and the sunlight seemed to have an immediate effect of tranquility. Eyes closed she stood there drinking it all in, her skin glowed healthily.

He observed her, how his shadows engulfed her, noticing their sense of peace in her presence.

Strolling towards her, he admired the view, understanding why she chose this place over Velaris during the winter.

Turning towards him she opened her eyes, narrowing them immediately at him.

“Put the tea kettle on the stove; I want chamomile,“ she commanded.

Following her orders, he smirked and shook his head at her playful demeanour.

“You idiots seem to only remember and visit me when you’re in trouble so count me a bit surprised of your visit. Please don’t ruin my vacation and writing of my new book.“

He only hummed.

Gathering her book scripts she also set aside her watercolours, the shadows cleaned the space on the red sofa by arranging her pillows and folding her soft grey blanket.

Joining him in the kitchen, she took out her homemade sweet butter cookies and pastries, placing them on a plate to share.

Azriel attempted to grab a cookie, only to have his hand smacked. Looking at him with disappointment, she said “500 years and you still haven’t changed any bit from the boy I’ve met back then.“

Laughing, he remembered the time he and the boys successfully stole three entire batches before a party, only escaping her fury and a gruesome death by a whisker.

Carrying the full tray, he settled next to her, spreading his wings comfortably. Taking a butter cookie he swallowed it at once. He grinned at her, but she only shook her head, blowing on her tea before sipping.

“They were always your favourites.“

“Is that why you always keep making them?“

She playfully replied, “Maybe I’m just trying fatten you up, and keep you away from everyone else, all to myself and no one would suspect me.“

Smirking, he said “I don’t think I would stay fat for long in your presence; and considering your track record of attempted murder, I do think you would be the first suspect of my disappearance.” Both laughed at her past attempts of almost strangling Cassian to death for burning her kitchen down. The male was a danger to society causing uproar everywhere he went.

Turning her attention to the view outside, she felt fuzzy at his gaze.

He admired her beauty, his eyes briefly lingered on her revealed skin; quickly averting them to avoid making her uncomfortable.

His shadows started swirling between them noticing both their emotions. They took a palmier(pastry) and ate it to relieve themselves of the tension, as they were just as nervous.

Azriel felt a mix of ease and unease in her presence. Struggling with his own feelings towards her. She made him feel both whole and conflicted, his emotions stronger than ever.

The memory of their first kiss, his initial taste of feeling complete, remained etched in his mind. Without her he felt a sense of loss.

Recollections of her reassurance, gentle touch and guidance, despite her own lack of experience, remained vivid.

She embraced his shadows, knew of his status as a bastard and held his scarred hands without hesitation or prejudice.

Her tenderness towards him gave him a reason to live, a sense of worth.

Had she not made clear that she wasn’t seeking a partner at the time, he might have courted and pursued her hand in marriage.

However, one unexpected night she left by order of the High Lord to return to her family in the Hewn City, leaving him heartbroken.

Attempting to cope, he had drowned his sorrows, ending up in an unkown women���s bed. His first time he couldn’t recall even after 500 years.

In an effort to move on from her he became infatuated with Morrigan.

Everything except her appearance reminded him of you; her innocence, her connection to the Court of Nightmares, her complicated family affairs, her defiance, her stubbornness and the light in her eyes.

It all reminded him of you, the one still holding his heart.

Noticing his absent-minded stare, she waved a hand in front of his face, bringing him back.

“I asked if you’d like to stay with me for a few days. You deserve a break,“ she insisted.

Concern etched on her face, she pointed out his exhausted appearance ,“look at how much weight you’ve lost, have you been sleeping at all?“

Bringing up his dark eye circles she gripped his chin softly rubbing his stubble.

“You didn’t shave or cut your hair! You look like an exhausted father of five!“

Holding her hand before she could remove it completely, he responded chuckling “you sound like a nagging wife, caring for the father of her five children. I’m a grown male, you don’t have to worry about me, I take care of myself.“

“Don’t downplay my worries. Did the others even notice how exhausted you look? How much work is Rhys giving you?“

Her concerned nagging continued until she caught his gaze at her lips. Her heart was about to pummel out of her chest.

Smirking, she leaned forward, teasing, “Are you listening, Azzie baby?“

His wings shuddered at her proximity and voice. His body moved closer to hers, almost tasting her sweet lips.

The world seemed to pause, their heartbeats echoing as they drew in even closer.

Almost, he almost felt the relief of her lips on his.

A loud knocking interrupted them. Abruptly they separated.

Quickly rising and tightening her cardigan against her body, she walked to her door, where her elderly neighbour awaited her.

Frustrated he groaned rubbing his face, trying to calm his heartbeat as he looked at the ceiling.

His shadows whirred violently and whispered angrily around him as they were anticipating their kiss only for their Faeries to get interrupted.

Hearing the door closing, he watched her. She remained unfazed by what had happened moments prior and approached him explaining the kinds of teas she had been gifted and the invitation she’d gotten.

“Let’s get your hair fixed before we attend, I need a plus one before mothers start throwing their sons at me again.“

Though he groaned, he agreed, his jealousy and protectiveness would not leave her to be pestered or to be taken from him.

“I’m going to my room and get ready.“

At her disappearance, the shadows whispered and gushed of the softness of her hair and skin, her sweet scent, her beautiful eyes and more - their comments never ceased.

Main Taglist: @bubybubsters

[joels-shitty-puns]

The Key To Your Heart - Track 8

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Alluding to sexual scenarios. Kissing. Fat shaming, name calling. Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 2.8k

Series List: Here!

Miss Chapter 7? Here!

Hi all! I know this one took a lot longer than previous. I was on vacation and then went straight into my work week. I almost thought about ending it after the last chapter but I realized there's still some loose ends! Also I gotta say I'm really overthinking the voicing for Pedro, but I hope you all enjoy it nonetheless. This chapter entirely got away from me and wasn't the plot I anticipated, haha. Once again, thank you all for reading. I love all the comments, messages, and asks I get about my story and it honestly blows me away. Please continue to like, reblog, and let me know what you think! Love to you all!

Also I made dividers! Weeehooo

The rest of the evening was filled with kisses, cuddles, and sweet nothings whispered to each other through smiles. It was just a quarter after midnight when Pedro finally pulled his lips away from yours and looked at the clock. Turning to set his forehead on yours once again, he quietly spoke.

"I should probably get home, Princesa," he punctuated with another kiss.

You let out a whine, but knew you weren't ready for it to move much further than this too quickly. "What time is it?" You kissed him.

"It's already after midnight." He kissed.

"Hmm," you hummed with another press of your lips to his. "And I never even turned into a pumpkin." Kiss.

"I don't think that's how the story went, mi amor," he ran his hand over your hair, kissing your lips, your cheek, below your ear, and finally your neck.

"Mmmm," you sighed, tilting your head to give him better access. "I can't really think clear enough about how that story went right now." You ran your fingers through his curls.

He kissed down your neck again a few times before gently nibbling your earlobe. Your breath caught in your chest.

"We should really slow this down and call it a night," he whispered directly into your ear. You felt his nose brush your hair and his warm breath on the side of your face. 

You sighed with a pout of your lips. You knew he was right. It was too soon into the relationship - or whatever this is - to go any further. But damn, would you be lying if you said you didn't want it.

"I know, baby. I know." He sighed in response, caressing your cheek with his thumb.

He pulled back, rubbing the back of his neck nervously, and adjusting in his seat, pulling his sweater down further over his waist. You tried to ignore it, but you couldn't help letting your eyes drift down a little lower towards the area he was trying to cover. He placed his hands in his lap, clearing his throat. You looked back up at his face, noticing his cheeks turning a pink hue.

Guess I'm not the only one feeling a little excited here, you thought with a smirk at the idea of you making him react this way. You rubbed your thumb across his reddened cheek. "Don't worry, baby. Me too," you sighed, feeling a little antsy and frustrated yourself. His eyebrows raised, mouth pulling into a mischievous sideways smirk. 

The two of you let out a nervously happy laugh. "Maybe… I could take you on a real date soon? If you would like that?" Pedro asked, looking at you once again with those big brown eyes. "I would love that, Pedro. More than anything." You pecked his lips once more, running your hand over his bicep.

He kissed you back before pulling away with a small laugh. "Okay, I gotta go, baby. I'm enjoying this a little too much, and we should probably cool it down." He gave another nervous laugh.

"Sorry," you giggled. "You're kind of addicting, and you don't know how long I've waited for this. Kissing. Mutual feelings. Romance…" you trailed off with a grin.

"Love?" He asked, holding your cheek and giving a soft smile.

"Yes. That too." You closed your eyes, leaning into his cheek. "But that still sounds so wild to me.  I'm scared to say it to you in case you'll change your mind, or realize you don't feel the same, or that it's too soon for… that word, or…" you rambled quietly, your insecurities creating a wall you know all too well.

"That just isn't true, sweetheart. I know it's soon, and we technically just met, but we've been talking for several months now. We've talked nearly every day. I started to realize I might love you a while ago, but seeing you for the first time over video really made me know for sure. Getting to meet you in person somehow even made me fall harder," he held your hand in his.

"After just one meeting? I mean, it's just… people that have known me for years haven't felt that way, and someone like you? Someone famous and beautiful and so much more experienced and mature than me… I just.. I don't want to push you away, but I can't help but worry that you'll change your mind or it isn't real and it's all just going to… vanish," you looked down at your connected hands, closing your eyes to swallow your emotions.

"Hey.. don't do that. Don't put yourself down or build those walls. I fell in love with your music and your voice the first time I heard it. Getting to know you through text and finally talking to you on the phone, getting to learn all your quirks and your sense of humor, your personality. You. I don't know how anyone could not fall in love with you, and I was scared to let it happen. I told myself not to get wrapped up in relationships. That it would just cause more heartache that I couldn't go through again. But somehow you lured me in like a siren and I couldn't ignore it. I heard your song and wanted to know you. I talked to you and needed more. I don't care that you weren't famous before, and that you don't have a lot of experience with relationships. And any other insecurities you have can just go away, because they aren't true. You are beautiful. You're funny, smart, sweet, and you have the most beautiful voice and heart of anyone I know. I knew you were beautiful before I saw you, and I fell so hard when I finally saw you for the first time."

"Pedro…" you blinked at him.

"The constant thought that you already loved someone, and it, to my knowledge, wasn't me, hurt every day I talked to you. But I couldn't stay away. I just kept wanting to be closer. I want to be with you. If anything, I wonder why you would want to be with someone so much older than you. Someone who can't love you the way you deserve, without paparazzi and fans and spotlights. I hope you won't change your mind. Because despite my best efforts to avoid relationships, I fell in love."

You had tears in your eyes as you looked up from your lap to meet his eyes. "I love you Pedro."

"I love you too." He kissed your lips once again, and as he pulled away, he said your name in a whisper. "Believe me, having to stop kissing you is just as difficult for me too. Maybe tomorrow I can take you on that date?" He asked, standing up with your hand in his.

"I'd love to go on a date with you," you smiled at the ground, cheeks heating. 

"Great! I'll talk to you tomorrow," he kissed your cheek before kneeling down to give Skipper a gentle rub and receiving several wet doggy kisses. The two of you laughed as Pedro stood, wiping his face on his sweater. "What can I say, I like kisses from everyone in this household." He winked.

"Okay cheeseball, get outta here," you gently shoved him before giving a final kiss and waving goodbye to him.

The next day, you were sleeping in, feeling relaxed and happy, like you finally could rest easy. It was around 11 AM when your phone rang, waking you up from your deep, peaceful slumber. Blinking your eyes open to see the morning sun beaming through the window, you stretched and grabbed your phone, looking at the clock as you did so. It was Pedro calling.

Cheerily, you answered the phone, though your voice betrayed you, still sounding groggy and cracked having just awoken. "Morning Pedro!"

"Baby… were you crying?" He asked, sounding concerned.

"What? No? I just woke up. Why would I be crying after having such a nice night with you?" You giggled.

He didn't laugh. In fact, he was a bit quiet. Unusual for the bubbly personality he usually was. "Pedro?" You asked after a beat of silence, suddenly feeling nervous.

He sighed and said your name in a tone that sent a chill down your spine. "I think you should check your phone. It's… something's happened. You should see it yourself. I just… I'm so sorry. I hope you'll forgive me."

Your blood ran cold. What is he talking about?

"Pedro, I don't under-" he interrupted you. "Please. I'm sorry. Just, you should read through everything and think things through. I hope you'll still want to call me back and talk. Goodbye. I love you." He hung up the phone.

With shaky hands, you looked at your phone. 45 missed text messages, 10 of which were from Pedro. 200 notifications on your personal Instagram. 20 emails. 

What the hell?

You first opened Pedro's texts.

"Baby. I'm so sorry. I should've never dragged you into all this, I'm so sorry."

"I'm sure you've seen by now, I'm so sorry."

"Please forgive me."

"I know you probably want your space, but I hope you're okay. I love you."

"Baby?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm getting worried"

"Can we talk?"

"I hope you're just asleep or something."

"I never meant for this to happen."

What. The hell. Happened?

The other messages were from family and friends, all seeming to be freaking out about something. Still confused, you finally came across your answer.

News articles flooded your page. 

"Pedro Pascal Seen Leaving Party with Mystery Woman"

"Pedro Pascal Enjoys Halloween Party with Date"

"Pedro Pascal: New Girlfriend??"

"Pedro Pascal: Matching Costumes with Unknown Girl"

Oh shit.

Photo, after photo, after photo. You kept reading.

"Mystery Girl's Co-Worker Speaks Out!"

"Unknown Woman Is Pedro Super Fan"

"Pedro Pascal Dating Obsessed Fan?"

"Pedro Pascal Being Stalked By Woman"

Okay this is getting absurd. 

You clicked on the coworker article. Sure enough, your coworker, one you always thought was rude, had thrown you under the bus. Your name was out there now, thanks to her. "She and I go way back. We're practically besties. And yeah, she's totally in love with Pedro Pascal. Obsessed even."

That. Bitch, you thought angrily.

It was time to call your agent, Rose. You already had several missed calls from her, and she knew all about Pedro and your crush. She had become your confidante. You dialed her number and she quickly answered on the first ring.

"Rose! What should I do? There's pictures of me everywhere. My name is out there. My coworker commented on it. I haven't left my bedroom yet, but I wouldn't be surprised if they've found out where I live. I'm so scared. I don't know how to deal with this kind of thing."

You were on the verge of tears.

"First of all sweetheart," she calmly answered in her southern twang, "take a deep breath." You did what she said, though it hardly seemed to help.

"Second of all, I've been working on some fixin' since it all caught wind this mornin'. Things are startin' to calm down. Nobody seems to know that you're that singer, either. They just think you're some girl who managed to meet Pedro. But, I will say I think this may be the push you need. It might be time to tell the world, sugar. How you choose to do that is up to you, but don't you worry, I'll put out the fires."

You took a deep breath and sighed. "I think you're right. It was only a matter of time."

"Have you talked to Pedro yet?"

Shit. Pedro.

"Sort of. He called and woke me up. He apologized and basically hung up, telling me to call when I read everything. But I had a bunch of texts from him. He kept apologizing."

Rose clicked her tongue. "That poor sweet man. None of this was his fault. You know that too, right, darlin'? This is just what happens in show business. It ain't fair, but it also isn't his fault."

"I know that, Rose. He didn't do anything wrong. I got so caught up in all the headlines that I immediately called you and forgot to call him back. I bet he feels awful. I should get back to him. I hope he's okay, too. He only seemed concerned for me, but most of those headlines were actually about him and his dating life. I can't believe I put him through that." You suddenly realized what he may also be feeling after his confessions last night about avoiding relationships, and the inability to give you privacy from paparazzi.

Rose sighed. "Now if you don't call that sweet man, I will! You two lovebirds are perfect for each other. Apologizin' and feelin' awful for one another when neither of ya did anything wrong. Go get 'im. And hang in there, love. It'll all work out, trust me."

Your cheeks heated at her words about you and Pedro. "Thanks Rose. You always know what to say."

You two hung up and immediately you called Pedro.

"Pedro… I'm so sorry."

"Hon- wait what? Why are you sorry??"

"Those headlines were about you too, and your dating life and history. I hate that you were dragged into all this drama."

"Honey, no, please don't worry about me. Are you okay?? I know this is new for you and some of those articles were pretty mean. And that coworker of yours!? Clearly not a friend. How are you feeling?"

You took a deep breath. "Honestly, P, I'm so stressed. But I talked to my agent and she really talked me down. She said she's been playing crisis management all morning and it's dying down. But she does think it's time I tell the world who I am."

"Oh… babe. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for any of this to happen. I was so selfish, I just wanted to see you and I didn't think about the consequences. I should have known this would happen."

"Pedro, please don't feel bad. None of this is your fault. She's right, it's time. I couldn't keep it a secret forever. And the party was not a great experience, but honestly, last night was one of the best nights of my life."

"So.. you still want to be with me?" He asked, cautiously.

"What? Yes, what kind of question is that? I love you, Pedro. Of course I want to be with you. Did you change your mind?"

"No!" He answered quickly. "I want to be with you."

"Good!" You smiled for the first time since seeing all the turmoil today. "I guess I better figure out my plans for the big reveal. I have some ideas, but…" you trailed off, pausing a few seconds.

"What is it, baby?"

"I don't want to make you feel like you have to if you don't want to, but… would you come over? I think I'll go on Instagram live, and I don't want to be alone. You don't have to be in the shot, I just want your presence there. You make me happy. Just you, me, and Skipper together today."

"Of course. Anything. I'll be there."

"Thank you, P. Give me an hour?"

"Perfect. I'll see you then. I'll bring you breakfast."

"Thank you, Pedro. You're really too good to me."

"No such thing, mi amor. You deserve it."

The conversation ended, and you showered, thinking through your words for the internet. Picking out the perfect outfit and place in your house for the big reveal, it wasn't long before the hour was up and Pedro was knocking on your door with breakfast and drinks in hand.

"Yum! Thank you, Pedro." You helped him carry, and then kissed him deeply, pouring all your love into the kiss, letting all your stresses of the day fade into pure love. He kissed you back, pulling you in closer by your lower back. "I wasn't sure if you were too stressed to eat, so I got things that would be okay to reheat, or leave out until you felt up to it."

"You're the best, you know that?" You rubbed his cheek.

"Mmmm, that's yet to be revealed, mi amor" he raised an eyebrow and winked, pulling you in for another kiss. You giggled, feeling bubbles of nerves and butterflies in your stomach at his implications. But now was not the time for those thoughts. You had more pressing matters.

Pedro noticed your stress shift. "You ready?" He asked while squeezing your arm. "I'm about as ready as I'm gonna be, I guess," you shrugged. "Let's do this." You stated, him answering with a curt nod.

The two of you made way to your music room, setting up your tablet in the right place near your desk. He sat in a chair just on the other side of you, outside of view, but close enough to make you feel more at ease. He was even close enough to hold your hand under the desk if you needed. Meanwhile, Skipper sat under the table near your feet, willing to keep you company when he could tell you were unhappy.

"Here we go," you breathed. You clicked the button to go live, and the stream began.

Want more? Track 9: Here!

Thank you for reading! Stay tuned for more!

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97 @stefanibear003 @marantha @fandomoniumflurry @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl @leiadjarin

[stregajulia]

Why I don't have friends?

pile 1 - pile 2 - pile 3

DISCLAIMER.These general free readings are made in good faith for entertainment purposes.

How to pick a pile. When you have different cards to choose from in pile 1,2,3… look at each of those cards. Wait until someone reminds you of a memory. Perhaps a character’s outfit resembles one of your own. It is this pile that has its message. What if they all remind me of something? Go for the one with the strongest memory, one might look like her earring but another might be the favorite candy you got from your grandma when you vacationed at her house. But what if none reminds me of something? Take a deep breath and wait a little longer, without charging yourself or creating worries. Relax, some will awaken some memory in you, I promise!

Pile 1

Hello, little Cherub! When we start reading, we already have a clear answer: the reason why you have few friends is related to judgements, prejudices and realities that you believe to be absolute. For you, the world can be cruel, with petty, prejudiced and manipulative people. That's how you've seen the world until today, with these types of people always ready to take you down at any moment.

It is important to remember that, although there are reasons, this does not mean that the result will always be negative. If you have a closed mind and are very judgmental of others, this may be a reflection of past experiences, such as being bullied. Right? No. In the end you are also being like the people you judge so much. You always feel overwatched… overwatching others. The insights indicate that these perceptions may have been with you since childhood, creating a reality that you believe to be immutable, "all my friendships were like this, so all friendships ARE like this" and because of this, you close yourself off.

You also drink too much of the social media water, so you see gratuitous hate everywhere. You see that no matter what you are, it seems like the world hates you, too fat, too thin, you are a man, you are a woman, you have criticism and more criticism of who you are from strangers on the internet and you conclude again "the world is a trash". Do you want to make new friends? Absolutely! But you're soo scared of these"trash", right?

But the message is clear: this situation is not permanent. Just because you have few friends now doesn't mean it will be that way forever. The advice here is to be more authentic, open yourself to new experiences,. Start opening up to things you like! Cinema, food, dancing, things that you refuse to do because you think they are not for you. HOWEVER, don't feel like you're going to run amok like an addict going to all the bars and places that YOU KNOW are wrong! It's not about doing a 180º and saying that now you're going to be a "rebel", because you're going to MAKE A MISTAKE! Go to places that you can tell everyone and not being asshamed of.

Now, avoid the despair of accepting anyone just to avoid being alone. You will, unfortunately, first attract treacherous people and if you accept them on your path, you will return to the cycle of "the world sucks, people are mean and blahblahblah"…. You will meet them, but remember our good and old "nope". Use your judgment and avoid extreme changes in behavior without adequate planning. You're smart girl, stop acting stupid.

Pile 2

Hello little Cherub! Let's start by understanding why you have few friends. It's possible that this is due to significant changes you've recently faced, such as changing jobs, schools, cities, or even countries. These changes will naturally affected your social circle, right? In some cases, it's just a matter of appearance, major weight loss, an afro hairstyle, or even incurable diseases that change anyone's routine.

You may be finding it difficult to integrate into new social circles. It seems like every time you approach a new group, there's a big bubble that needs to be burst… you all speak the same language but why so diffent??? It's common to feel like your experiences and interests are different, which can make interacting and creating new friendships difficult.

Additionally, there may be personal resistance to making an effort to fit into new groups. You may question whether it is worth the effort to integrate and what the benefit would be. This lack of motivation can result in a more reserved or distant attitude, which can alienate potential new friendships. You want to go back to what you had before, your old friendships…

To overcome this, it's important to recognize that it's not necessary to form large social circles right away. Start small by establishing one-on-one connections, like a friend at work, school, college, or the gym. This can help build trust and facilitate deeper interactions in the future. Being social is healthy and necessary.

Now I need to give you an earful because you are behaving childishly on your behalf too. You know that child shouting "I don't want it" in the supermarket……….. it's you. Also, you're showing yourself like "I know that it's different but it's okay" or "fuck, I hate this"? You close yourself off so much in your reality that it's difficult to enter and understand the reality of others, so they throw a spaghetti party, they don't invite you because every day you say that you hate pasta, and then you find out that there was this spaghetti party and now you're super upset that you wasn't invited…

Avoid behaviors that can alienate people, such as being overly reserved or showing a lack of interest in social activities. Stay open to new experiences and encounters, even if they may initially seem uncomfortable. Openness can open doors to new friendships and a more diverse and enriching social circle.

Pile 3

Hello, little Cherub. Let's start reading by exploring the central question: why do you have few friends these days? It seems like you believe it is due to studies. You've dedicated a lot of time to this, whether on your own or because you're in college. This is your initial perception.

However, as we read deeper, we see that the true reason may be different. It appears that your romantic relationship has played a significant role in limiting your friendships. In this pile I'm not talking about marriage, but a long-term relationship. This relationship has taken up a large part of your time and energy, which ends up restricting your socialization opportunities.

Maybe you and your partner spend so much time together that there's no room for other friendships. As if you had to save all the energy you had left that week to spend time with them. And there may be issues of jealousy, both on your part and his, that make it difficult to get close to other people.

Do you want to have new friendships? Of course. You've always valued having friends around, and you've never been a lonely person. You always had several friends, someone to talk to and share moments with. However, now it seems like your partner is the only person you spend your time with, and that's something you've never done before.

The reading suggests that you have an upright and idealistic personality. Even when you saw wrong things, you did not allow yourself to be influenced by them. But you may now be falling into the trap of not realizing that you are also doing something wrong, like isolating yourself socially because of your relationship, or some really toxic shit, you know what I am talking about. Furthermore, you have this need to show yourself as someone "clean", without mistakes, always with the best and you know, even if unconsciously, that you are "dirty" and feel incapable of getting involved with people other than your boyfriend

The advice here is for you to have a clearer view of your current situation. Reflect on your relationship. Is it stopping you from living fully? Are fights and jealousy taking a heavy toll? Ask yourself where this insecurity comes from. Is it just a matter of jealousy or is there something deeper going on?

It's important to look at what's hidden, the things you might be pretending not to see. If you feel like you always need to appear perfect in the eyes of others, this may be stopping you from opening up to new friendships. No one is judging your character, but if you feel like you need to maintain a facade, this can be a significant barrier.

The final piece of advice is to examine your relationship honestly. Is it working for you? Does it need to be tweaked or maybe even finished? This is an answer you must find on your own. After this reflection, you will be in a better position to decide how to proceed.

That was the reading for you. Good luck and stay well.

(CC) Stupid Cupid Tarot Some Rights Reserved

[octuscle]

You have been posting transformations with these long haired guys and I think it's really hot.

I started losing my hair this year and I'm only 23. I'd love to become a huge bodybuilder with that sexy wavey shoulder length hair. I'd love to be a towering meathead in tight speedos and long hair.

It's incredibly frustrating to be just 23 years old and already feel old. You never had the body of an athlete. But you could be pretty proud of your full head of hair. Until it started with the circular hair loss at the back of your head. You tried all kinds of things. But it only got worse. You tried caps. But that looked silly. Now you wear your hair extremely short. Could look cool… If your features were more angular…

It's your first summer vacation since you lost your hair. The first debacle was that you didn't apply lotion to your head. Your scalp was cancerous red and burned like fire. After a week, it was somewhat better again… But now your hair has grown back and you've forgotten your clippers. Your routines simply haven't adapted to the situation yet.

You feel incredibly ugly among all the beautiful people anyway. Maybe at least a fresh buzz cut can save you a little. When you came back from the beach yesterday, you saw a hairdresser on the way to your hotel. The next day, on your way to the beach, you go there.

It's an old-fashioned salon. The hairdresser is still sitting in the corner reading the newspaper so early in the morning. He greets you in a friendly manner and asks you to take a seat in the shiny chrome chair. He puts the cape on you and asks what you want. You smile painedly and say there aren't many options. In your experience, hairdressers always like to talk about soccer. So you add with a grin that you would like Brian Hoyer's hairstyle.

"Brian Hoyer? Las Vegas Raiders? Good man!" The hairdresser is in his element. He asks if you would like a free shave as the first customer of the day. You gladly agree and sit back, relax and enjoy. The hot towels open your pores, your face is soaped, the sharp blade skillfully runs over your cheeks, the after-shave is refreshing. And the hairdresser has been talking the whole time without a dot or a comma. First about football, then about Las Vegas, then about the government. You're so relaxed and in a trance from the facial massage that you couldn't care less. Even if the rest of your vacation isn't perfect, this visit to the hairdresser is a highlight.

"So like Cole Holcomb, boy?" asks the hairdresser. You nod, still deeply relaxed, the back of the chair reclined far back. As expected, the long hair cutter starts. But it feels different. Normally you feel the blades closer to your scalp. No matter, you are in the hands of a professional and enjoying yourself. Especially as the hairdresser doesn't stop talking for a second. You don't notice when he starts working with scissors, you're not irritated that he's using a hairdryer, you don't get suspicious when he kneads hair wax into your curls. "So, boy, a Cole Holcomb for once. What he'd look like if he had your strong curls, boy!"

Bloody hell! Fuck, fuck, fuck! You're driving through the Mullet. Strong, healthy curls. But what a shitty haircut. You look like a redneck. And that with your untrained fat body. The hairdresser ignores your horrified expression. He removes the collar, brushes the loose hair out of your neck and sweepingly removes your hairdressing cape. For a brief moment, your eyes go black. It's the first fainting spell of your life.

Yes, on the first day you had to get used to the new situation a little. All the leering and admiring glances on the beach, in the open-air gym and in the bars and clubs in the evening. But thanks to Stevie, you are perfectly shaved every morning and no matter how hard the party was the night before, he massages every wrinkle out of your face.

In fact, you didn't even know who this Cole Holcomb was. But now you follow him on Instagram. And he follows you like a few other 1,000 people.

[magickman1234]

It Wasn’t Real Until Your Face Showed It

Sometimes life is cruel when it lets someone stay in denial. I remember meeting you in college a bit of a thick to chunky girl. You got fat every winter just about. You never noticed though. You started out wide hipped, wide thighed and an impressive ass. Your waist refused to surrender but you had lovehandles and a tummy that showed in dresses. Your breasts clearly not small but the rest of you was just that bigger. Okay you were always chubby but slim enough your face staid thin and you could tell in your social media posts you liked to think you were thin. Punk hairstyles and multiple colors across the years but every spring you got active and slimmed downed to thicker only.

You kept your pretty face slim but even then you loved to eat. You came in my orbit and I slowly helped you relax. A tiny push, a kind treat, a loving grope of fatty bits and slow make outs in the dorm bathrooms or your place when your roommate left for long vacations to go home. Somehow we sort of manipulated each other. I acted like you were as thin as you felt and you asked for whatever you wanted. Food forbidden like our connection. Sex intermingled with eating while stoned or drunk or exhausted from school. You started to get fatter faster then.

Remember when you got too big for that sexy costume and you spent Halloween in a Velma themed dress and top that let your belly show? I recall your fat ass and thighs barely fit when you sat. You were so embarrassed but I fed you a whole bag of candy as we fucked like mad. You kept pretending because your face stayed slim. I took that comfort and kepted you well fed. You used to get that chunky look in your face but just barely each winter then you lost it. That year I was determined to get you fat faced before the holidays and I did! You had a weakness to dark chocolate and you were so voracious and horny when you got it. I watched you push passed that chunky stage to downright fat by the new year.

Your eyes were magic as you clearly couldn’t hide it. Those chunky cheeks, your new chin! You were so round faced now as you kept on putting on weight. The sudden realizations between tasty treats intoxicating. We hit our mid twenties as you were hit hardest by the loss of metabolism and your normal spring activities weren’t enough if you kept eating (which you did.) You really can’t stop though, you’re clearly more enamored with eating and lovemaking than exercise. That escaping sliver of Olive tummy skin now thick rolls with pinkish or white stretch marks. You honestly are helpless as you blow up more and more.

Look at you now! You’ve let yourself get so fat but you kept saying to yourself “well I’m not as fat as some of those really fat girls” as you look at your only “slightly” round face. You’re blowing up faster by the day with that attitude even though it’s true but really it’s the curse of a more slender face. You’ll eagerly hit beyond morbidly obese before it starts to truly look fat. You’re getting so big already. Can you imagine it? You’ll be 300 pounds before the thirties spread hits you. I’ve truly let that thinner face enable you eat yourself into a belly with legs. Your whole figure starts to surround your belly like your habits and lifestyle already are. Your snacking or eating meals with 2-3 desserts or treats a night.

It finally just shows in your face like a couple’s goal we’ve unlocked your moon face. You blush if you check me looking or moan if I rub your soft chin right. You can’t deny it but you can’t deny the pleasure in just never stopping eating despite any consequence or consequences that it might hold. You’ve eaten yourself to escape old limits and fears to be so large you outgrow yourself again and again. A new you, a new reality each 15-20 pounds. You’re boundless and it shows

[be-nice-to-your-meatsuit]

This might be taboo to say on a body positivity blog, but I'm losing weight intentionally.

While I'm not on it *now* (im in the states and on vacation so it'd be unreasonable to try), it was working pretty well.

I'm going for a straightforward calorie deficit. Try to have my activity higher than intake, give or take a bit, don't go lower than a certain amount.

And honestly? Accepting my body as it is, was the ONLY way this was going to work. My motives couldn't be "i fucking hate myself and need to change to be acceptable". My motives were "my snoring is unstoppable and I've tested and tried everything except for losing weight. It causes me pain when I walk too far because of thigh chafing, and back pain sucks" I don't want to be skinny after, hell, I like my soft and curvy self. Going to the actual "healthy" weight according to Bullshit BMI would mean my tiny ass would fly out the window if you hit a bump on the highway.

Being kinder, and loving my body means that I can take it slow, take it at my own pace, and not beat myself up on a day where my goals aren't achieved (i have three. 10k steps a day, 3L of water a day, and stay under some type of deficit. As long as 1/3 is achieved, I'm happy. If 0/3 is achieved, hey i can try again tomorrow. Were it not for fat liberation philosophies, I'd be having breakdown after breakdown).

I can be at this for a month, noticed I've lost 7 lbs and instead of going "WHY AM I A FAILURE I NEED TO GO HARDER ABOUT THIS" i can say "neat! That's about the rate I wanna be going!"

Staying on these body positive and fat liberation spaces made me say "hey, the difference between "good food" and "bad food" is awful. I'm gonna succeed, but I'm not going to cut out any food that makes me happy." I can say "alright, I'm cutting it close to my limit, but fuck it, I'm still hungry so I'll make myself a snack, because listening to my body is more important than numbers".

Losing weight will not make me more worthy. I am worthy at whatever weight I am. For those who it matters to, I'm pretty damn hot, no matter my weight. It will not make me immune from health issues, and this doesn't have anything to do with morality. My health status, if it changes, will be because I'm active and hydrating more, not because of the number on the scale.

I just want less thigh chafing without remembering to put deodorant or some shit on my thighs. I want to not snore while I'm in bed with my fiancé (and yeah sleep apnea apparently isn't it, got it tested). I want less back pain when I'm standing at a till for 4.5 hours, even if I've got the world's best shoes on. It's not health reasons, it's inconvenience reasons.

But I could never be successful about it until i disentangled fatphobia from weight loss. Until i stopped saying "these foods are bad, these foods are good", I was always going to fail. Until i stopped believing I was worthless because of my fat, until i stopped saying "I need to lose weight and do it now because I need to be hot", it was never going to work.

There's still things I need to work on, I'm not totally cured, and maybe some days the ED's gonna influence. Hell, idk if this weight loss attempt will stick, and be successful once I get to my goal weight. But even as someone who's trying to lose weight, fat liberation is so important.

Because without the idea that being fat is totally okay, I'd be unable to enjoy myself in the times where it's absolutely unreasonable to count calories. I'd have my goal as "stick thin" and not "how I look now, just less chafe". By the end of this, I'll still be medically overweight.

And btw I still believe in Health at Every Size. Your weight has no fucking impact on your worth, your health, your beauty, ANYTHING.

[sailtomarina]

Dog walk

In any other scenario, Hermione would consider today the perfect fall day. The grass still retained dew from the past several days of rain. She breathed in air that was crisp in the sun’s light. Fresh fallen leaves crunched underfoot. She loved autumn. She loved walks, when she could be bothered to shrug off her blankets and books to take them. The season reminded her of carving pumpkins, apple cider, and bundling up next to a bonfire.

Today would be perfect, if not for Aspen.

Aspen was Harry’s dog, or, more precisely, Albus’ dog. As is the case with most children and pets, the responsibilities ended up falling on the parents, Albus only claiming the dog when convenient, which was never at the same time as walks or meals.

She cursed the Potters under her breath as she struggled with the leash and the 6-stone dog threatening to yank her off balance.

“I’m so sorry, please, just keep walking,” she gritted out with a pained smile, the couple walking by with their twin Staffordshire terriers looking at the pair of them like they were both hell dogs out to drag them to their deaths.

Aspen was inconsolable at not being allowed to run straight up to the other party as they scurried by. “Leash reactivity,” Harry had called it.

What a fat load of bollocks.

Oh, she believed there was a term for the way their super mutt rescue went completely ballistic every time he was on the leash and saw another dog, but it had been years now since they’d adopted him. Surely, by now, they should have trained the behavior out of him?

Now here she was, barmy to have accepted not only house sitting for her best mate and his family while they were on vacation, but dog sitting with all the activities it entailed.

Like walking. Three. Times. A day.

“Aspen, come! Aspen, look!” Her commands went straight over the fuzzy black head without eliciting any response. He continued to tug forward without looking to her for approval or permission.

This is why she preferred cats. Even owls, with their razor-sharp talons and grouchy nips were better. At least they delivered mail.

Giving up, she allowed herself to be pulled along their usual route along the gravel path around the pond. They took this walk every morning, then in the afternoon they went the opposite direction through the little Muggle subdivision of homes. One final evening walk to work off dinner cut partially through the same neighborhood into a cleared  path through the nearby forest.

She didn’t begrudge the multiple walks—they afforded her regular exercise and well-needed breaks from the tasks into which she often lost herself.

It was encounters with others that made her drag her feet in putting on the leash and harness.

Aspen would be a lovely companion if not for his loss of self at the sight of another dog, delivery truck, bicycle, and scooter. He draped himself over her every morning and she cuddled him for the next half hour as she slowly woke up. He kept her feet warm wherever she perched, book or pen in hand. He eagerly followed her to sleep at night, curling up at the foot of the bed with his head towards the door to guard their dreams.

“Oh! Finally.” She perked up as the dog curled into a familiar position.

It was as she settled down into a crouch, hand reaching out with a bright blue bag towards a steaming pile of shit that Malfoy found her.

“Hey, Aspen, and—Granger?”

Her stomach dropped at the voice she’d recognize anywhere. She might as well continue what she started. Without looking up, she proceeded to bag the poop and tie it off before standing to face the man jogging in place next to Aspen.

“Hello, Malfoy.”

She bobbed her head politely, hoping the stench from her hand didn’t reach him. If this area wasn’t Muggle she could vanish the bag. He didn’t give any indication of discomfort. In fact, he looked good.

Despite the cool weather, he wore a simple black vest and matching joggers, the prominent muscles of his arms revealed for all to see. He looked every inch the Auror that he was, one who rivaled Harry as his partner and featured far too often in Hermione’s fantasies.

He brushed back a fallen strand of hair, returning his platinum locks to their usual perfection. How could a man out for a run look so put together? Hermione wasn’t a slouch, even jogging on her own a few times a week, but her hair had a tendency to explode outward as if the steam from her head filled it to bursting with nowhere else to escape.

“Why are you walking Aspen?”

He didn’t say it with any disdain, but Hermione couldn’t help but bristle.

“Why can’t I walk him?”

He raised a slender brow and finally stilled his movements, hands moving up to rest on his hips. Her traitorous companion immediately butted up against his legs begging for attention, which, of course, was given.

Bent over, fingers digging into Aspen’s soft fur, Malfoy looked up with his mercurial eyes, famous smirk in place. “Of course you can; I asked why you were doing so. Where’s Potter?”

Hermione wanted to kick herself in her annoyance. Why was she being so prickly towards Malfoy? It wasn’t like she still harbored resentment towards him—it had been nearly a decade since Hogwarts and they’d bumped into each other often enough over the years. She could be civil.

She blamed Aspen and his reactivity.

“They’re on a family vacation and I agreed to house sit.” She bit her tongue before she could say anything more.

Malfoy had given into temptation and dropped down to spoil the mutt with both hands ruffling his ears and massaging his sides. That lucky fucker.

With a gasp, she realized she was jealous of Harry’s dog. 

The wizard looked at her once more at the sound, never ceasing his ministrations. “Everything alright?”

“Yes,” she cleared her throat, “I just realized I might have left the stove on. We should get going.”

His lips twitched almost like he was holding back a smile, like he knew she was lying. 

Was tonight a full moon? Is that why she was feeling so affected by the sight of his wide mouth, his full lashes rimming the prettiest grey eyes she’d ever seen that seemed to change with his emotions, and his visibly veined arms wrapping around Aspen? He could probably pick up the behemoth of a dog without breaking a sweat.

She blinked with surprise when he smoothly stood and approached her with a palm outstretched. Looking down at the hand, then back at him, she could do nothing but gape in confusion.

He snorted, thrusting his hand out even closer to her direction. “I’m not going to hex you, Granger. It’d be rude of me to not offer my farewell.”

“Yes, but must we shake on it?” she blurted out, still nonplussed.

A wrinkle formed between his eyes, and she realized she was being horribly rude. They might not be friends and she might harbor fantasies of riding him like a bull until she collapsed on top of him boneless and breathless, but it wouldn't do to ignore a friendly handshake.

The instant her hand slid into his and his eyes flashed silver, she remembered just who it was she was talking to. Smug satisfaction flickered across his face, and, with a wrenching twist to her gut, they disapparated.

Leaves fluttered into the air at the precise spot they’d left. A squirrel scampered across, nuts pocketed in cheeks meant for winter storage.

They reappeared at Harry’s front door, Hermione stumbling forward straight into Malfoy’s sturdy frame.

“What the bloody hell, Malfoy?” She smacked him with the end of the leash in rhythm to her yells. “You can’t just apparate people without notice!” He’d side-apparated not only her, but also Aspen, and the magical finesse behind such a feat turned her on even as it infuriated her. “You could have splinched us! Killed Aspen! What would I even say to Harry? Albus would be devastated—”

To her complete and utter shock, he shut her up with a kiss.

She stiffened for a couple of seconds, poop bag dropping forgotten onto the door mat behind her along with all pretenses of a stove left on, but as the realization hit her that this was not a dream and that none of them had lost limbs in their teleportation, she let herself feel.

His warm, very large arms wrapping around her to pull her flush against him.

His head tilting, lips slanting to meld against her own.

His tongue swiping at the seam then dipping in to taste her.

The scent of him, woodsy and spicy and rich, and she knew it to likely be from some stupidly expensive cologne in some foreign language and nearly impossible to find.

Aspen leaning against their legs, for once not being a brat and shoving them apart the way he did to Harry and Ginny.

By the time he pulled away, Hermione was breathless and even more befuddled than before he’d appeared in front of her and interrupted her walk.

“What—”

He dropped another kiss, this one chaste and sweet.

Words left her, and she simply stared up at him in wonder. This had to be a dream. Or perhaps a nightmare? Maybe she’d wake up in bed, smothered underneath dog hair, painfully alone again since her last relationship several months back.

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” he said with a grin, leaning his forehead against her own.

“Stealth apparate a witch?” she asked, thoughts still moving sluggishly, her heart beating slow and loud in her ears.

“Shut you up with a snog.” His smile was so wide, it threatened to reach his ears.

“Since when?”

His smile dropped as he stared at her silently. She tried to pull away, but his arms tightened around her, keeping her in place.

“For longer than appropriate.”

Her eyes widened at the revelation. She had only been around him because of Harry—the two work partners had become friends enough to go out regularly for drinks. She’d been invited to many of them, her interactions with Malfoy short but always memorable. They usually argued, but occasionally they talked. Not the sort of meaningless chatter she loathed, like scrambling for Quidditch news or the weather. Heavy topics, like modern applications of runes. Variations on magical bonds. Merits of the Statute of Secrecy.

She’d always known he was smart, even since their school days, but these moments where she could stretch her mental muscles and find herself well and truly challenged by Malfoy’s views were liberating.

So, she fantasized.

Now, he revealed he’d wanted to kiss her for quite some time.

“Do you always jog around the pond in the morning? Why haven’t I seen you before?” She’d been here for the past five days and this was their first encounter. They were also nowhere near his ancestral home in Wiltshire. His being here today couldn’t be a coincidence.

“I might have been the one to show this neighborhood to Potter. My flat is nearby.”

Aspen had finally gotten bored and was now winding around their legs, the leash ribboning around them.

“And the timing?” she prompted.

For the first time, a faint pink blush tinged his cheeks.

He looked adorable.

“I did see you. You’re just usually so distracted that you don’t notice when I run by.”

Oh.

This time, it was her turn to blush. She didn’t doubt him. She had a habit of daydreaming, even when out for a walk. The solitude of nature and her presence in it induced her to disappear into her thoughts.

“Well,” she gathered up her courage to put her hope into words, “you are welcome to join me on my walks whenever you see me. If it doesn’t cut into your exercise, that is.”

His smirk was back, and she couldn’t help but breathe in deep to savor the delicious scent of him. It might be a new favorite for autumn.

“How much longer are you house sitting?”

“A little over a week.”

“Consider us a dog walking team until then.” With a snap of his fingers, arms still hugging her close, the leash was unwound and hanging loose down to where Aspen had stretched out on the ground.

She searched his eyes, for what, she wasn’t sure. Truth? Determination?

One hand came up to cup her cheek, his skin almost scalding against the coolness of her own, his thumb ghosting down to trace her lips.

She parted them just slightly to whisper, “And after?”

He twisted his hand to brush knuckles up her jaw, then push wayward curls over her shoulder. The simple touch shouldn’t have felt as sensual as it did, but the motion betrayed a desire for familiarity born from years spent together. A touch that meant more than just friendship, more than a fling.

“We can still go on walks without Aspen.”

The innocence of his suggestion encouraged one snort, then another, and before long, they giggled together at the idea.

Dog walks, but without the dog.

WC 2212

Cross posted on Tumblr  and AO3

Aspen is modeled after my own dog of a different name, including the physical description. 6 stone roughly approximates to my own dog's 85 pounds. The pond is also pulled from my own neighborhood where I frequently walk him. Yes, he has leash reactivity. No, I haven't been able to fix it ;_;

This was meant to be a short with my own self-prompt that I thought of on my walk this morning, but now I can't stop thinking about this setting and these characters.

Fall is undeniably the best season.

[notriyaa]

guys please give me tips on how to starve or at least loss weight on vacation with parents i woukd starve myself but every-time i skip a meal my dad goes into a rant about how skipping meals will make me fatter. Also he doesn’t say this to my actually fat brother and im way smaller than him like wtf??

[herrlindemann]

Sonic Seducer, June 2015

The exotic blossoms of a band break: After Rammstein said goodbye to the collective scene after their furious final show at the Wacken Open Air in summer 2013, the individual group members are slowly but surely returning with solo projects. While guitarist Richard Kruspe kicked things off last fall with the release of the second long play from his all-star artist collective Emigrate, spring 2015 will also be dominated by the Berlin industrial metallers. While keyboardist Flake Lorenz is trying his hand at writing books, frontman Till Lindemann is also letting the sparks fly again in every way possible: On the debut album of his solo effort of the same name, the flame-retardant muscle man has enlisted the help of Hypocrisy/Pain mastermind Peter Tägtgren. Together we'll be firing on all cylinders for 'Skills In Pills' from June onwards - and all in English!

The good news at the very beginning: the all-clear can be given. Despite all the rumors and speculation, the founding of Lindemann does not mean the end of Rammstein, as Till solemnly explains in the preliminary discussion about his latest field of musical activity. "Peter and I have been planning this project for ages. We had to keep postponing it because of time constraints — either he was on tour or I was busy with Rammstein. For me, Lindemann means more of a vacation from Rammstein. 15 years together is a long time. During this time we lived almost exclusively for the band and neglected our private life a lot. Some band members have small children and we are aware that we need more time for our families and whatever else is going on these days. It was urgently necessary for some of us to take a longer break from Rammstein. A break during which you can collect yourself again and really relax without the next appointments being on your calendar."

Anyone who knows the New German Hardness pioneer and the Scandinavian death metal veteran knows: you won't rest for a single minute on the twelve tracks of 'Skills In Pills'. On the contrary. As the names Rammstein and Pain suggest, on their first album the Lindemann/Tägtgren duo created a darkly bombastic, subtly electro-fied hybrid monster that stomps through the metal forest with glowing eyes, broad shoulders and a dirty grin to make his way through the mainstream and underground regardless of the losses. A real man's record, the result of a German-Swedish friendship that has now lasted a good 15 years. A long shared history that, according to Tägtgren, "starts with bar fights and continues through vomiting in Chinese restaurants" to the present day. Sounds too weird for a PR stunt, as Lindemann confirms. "We met when Flake and I got into a fight in a small bar somewhere in the north of Sweden. Peter somehow got in the way. I previously only knew him from seeing metal clubs and bars in Stockholm, but had never spoken to him. Back then we hung out a lot with the guys from Clawfinger and our mixer at the time, Stefan Glaumann. A time when I was out every night and knew all the clubs. Peter and his brother really saved our asses in that fight and kept us out of a lot of trouble. He calmed the heated tempers and said to these guys: By the way, that's the singer from Rammstein, they're okay. Afterwards there was home-made beer for the whole house. Then we all crashed really badly together."

Instead of burning off their excess energy in trendy shops in Stockholm, LindGren now prefers to spend her time on 'Skills In Pills'. With instant neckbreakers like 'Ladyboy' and 'Golden Shower', the bizarre fetish metal smash 'Fat' and the polarizing family planning guide 'Praise Abort(ion'), the duo will be open-mouthed and perhaps one or two scandal headlines from June onwards in relevant tabloids. The new pieces are based on Till Lindemann's notorious, deep black humor, which was often misunderstood in Rammstein and in his two previously published volumes of poetry. In English form, all non-German-speaking regions now have the chance for the first time to immerse yourself in the eerie and beautiful world of thoughts of the R-rolling fifty-something. Brutal humor for everyone.

"It’s just part of my job. I've always tried to let a certain kind of humor shine through; even if sometimes it wasn't much fun to record the songs. I can't judge whether this is the light, carefree side of Till Lindemann. The biggest difference is definitely that the songs are in English - a completely new field of work that I'm working on today."

The album was created in Peter Tägtgren's semi-legendary The Abyss studio in the tiny village of Pärlby, around 200 kilometers northwest of Stockholm. Where over the last twenty years milestones have been recorded by mostly black metal formations such as Dimmu Borgir, Dark Funeral and of course Peter's numerous in-house projects, last summer they clubbed their way through their collection of acoustic pills in a relaxed mood. Relaxed feel-good atmosphere à la Lindemann. "In his studio you can literally throw a fishing rod into the water from the comfort of your own home. Peter did the editing of the songs and I fished during my breaks from recording. We approached this project without any great expectations or plans. We just wanted to do something together. Everything has developed step by step into what you can hear and see today. Initially we thought we'd record a few songs and put them online to see how people would react."

"We are very serious about music," concludes Peter Tägtgren. "We are extremely proud of what we have created together with this album. But at the moment the project is still in its infancy. You have to see how much the audience likes our work. If it goes down well out there, I could imagine playing concerts with Lindemann. But at the moment it is still too early to judge. We'll wait for the feedback first."

The Lindemann album ‘Skills In Pills’ will be released in June; The detailed interview with Till and Peter can be found in the next issue.

[emptinessinme-s]

Some tips i've collected through the years:

• if you crave sweets constantly and have the financial condition, invest in whey protein. Choose your favorite flavour and be sure to buy the type thats low in carbs, just protein. Whenever you want something sweet you can drink that with coffee, for exemplo (thats sometimes a whole meal for me, in the morning or evening/night)

• make your plate aesthetically looking and eat with manners (dont have to be the societal rules for eating -etiquete- just the rules you've set for your self)

• be honest with yourself:

- if you cant resist it, dont buy it. If you know you will eat the entire thing, dont buy it. Instead, plan for ir – sharing with friends/familly, having a day where that fits your calories, eating that food in public

- doing something else while eating can be a trap. being distracted during the meals is something that i have to ajust everytime, cause sometimes it leads me to overating and other times it helps me make my meal last longer. For me, it will vary accordingly to my anxiety, so i always check it before stting down to eat.

• prepare your food beforehand. There are times you just go for the easy, for whats closer, more in hand, so make sure you'll choose the "good" foods by preparing them before. Ex: whash your vegetables, cut the fruit, cook the meat (chicken breast is great with lots of things)...

• dilute your drinks! Milk, for exemple, it will last longer and be less caloric.

• dont ever leave it to the "next time". Oh, tomorrow i will eat less so i can eat this now, i will skip dinner so its ok if i eat this big plate. Seriouslly, for this thing to work out you gotta make a lifestyle out of it. "Sometimes" will get you nowhere.

• paint your nails, do your make up, take care of your skin, dress nicely (daydream of it, even). Get in character, play the game.

• alcohool 🙏 cigarrets 🙏 tea 🙏 coffe 🙏 gum

• nutricion maxxing! Put greans in everything you can (leafs are low in calories and high in nutrients), eat quality carbs and some fats; season your food!!!

And also eat some salt i swear you will not retain a significant amount of water if you put a normal amount of salt in your food.

--> Fun scientific fact: the marine salt you buy at the market is obliged to be enriched with iodine, wich is essencial for the functioning of you thyroid, wich is responsible for your metabolism!! So a healthy tyroid means a good metabolism wich means easier weight loss.

• save money on food and buy clothes that you like and actually fit you right!! If you feel good about yourself it will be much easier to continue this journey. Especially if you seek confort in food, always treating yourself with something nice (little things – a new nail polish, hair accessory, cheap jewelry..) will help you to not use food as a escape.

• do some exercise, obviously. When you feel your stomach empty, suck in your tummy. It will look so good.. and then when youre eating, never eat to a point where you can no longer suck it in and feel your muscles working.

• brush yout teeth frequently, feelinf the taste of tooth paste will diminish your will to eat (?? works for me)

• baking soda + lemon for reflux and heartburn

• When possible, never eat past 7pm (if necessary for a social event, skip breakfast the next day)

- vacations are a social period. Dont eat alone, wake up late and dont eat breaksfast. You know you"ll be around people in the evening and there will be food and drinks.

• it will be hard. It will be hell. It will hurt. But it will also be worth it.

•

•

•

•••

Anyway just writing it down so i can revisite anytime. They're for personal use but feel free to follow these if any of them tips makes sense to you.

[brightfuture2024]

tw eating disorder/body stuff/my parents

i called my mom the other day and she had a full sobbing breakdown because she went to the doctor and her chart said overweight and obese... she was going on and on about how much she hates how she looks and it's not even fair because she doesn't drink or smoke or "do drugs" (lol) and she only has (giant american-sized) soda three times a week. and this is crazy because she is addicted to candy, like has bags of candy she carries with her constantly that she starts on at like ten in the morning. one time we were on vacation and her candy supply ran out and she tried to dig through my bag to eat the fudge i got from my uncle for christmas and got mad when i wouldn't give it to her because she "needed it." she ordered some ridiculous arm roller thing that she says will get rid of her arm fat by rolling it up and down her arm and she won't listen to me when i say that that isn't how weight loss works. and she ordered some skincare thing to make her face less puffy but honestly her face is proportional to her body. and she always says she only gained this weight because she stopped lifting weights for her arms, and she just needs to turn that flab into muscle - again, not how it works, and honestly just delusional given her current weight! i love her i don't think she looks bad she's my beautiful mom but it's so hard to listen to her talk like this and be in such denial it's honestly terrifying. i understand it is so so hard to be overweight with modern beauty standards but i think your solutions are to either to work on accepting that this is what your body will look like if you eat the way you do (which is fine!) or actually attempt losing weight, which comes down 90% to calorie intake and will require changing that diet. i wish my dad would intervene somehow because he is a super athletic person who understands at least the basic principles of weight gain and loss but now he's into this whole right wing carnivore diet shit so his diet is like 60% red meat and he thinks cholestorol is fake and he has managed to gain a massive gut in the past year thanks to this despite never drinking or eating junk food and running supermarathons and doing strength training daily which is like an astounding feat of calorie intake. so he's not doing great either but at least better than my mom.... my dad also hates fat people which my mom obviously picks up on and impacts her even though he tells her he loves her and she's beautiful.... it's all such a mess how am i ever supposed to handle food normally coming from this. i'm starting another sugar fast because i need to remind myself that i can after watching my mom break down like this.