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eddiesguitarskill2 · 2 years ago

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What's Wrong With A Cliché?

Eddie Munson x Fem reader

Summary: You had never been to a school dance before. So when you find out about the winter formal, you figure your hellfire friends would be just as excited. What you don't expect is to be mocked, especially by Eddie. Eddie loves to tease you, he never realises when he takes it to far. This was he way of flirting with you, even if you didn't know that. But maybe this time he's gone too far, when he might not be the one to take you to the dance.

Content Warning: use of y/n, a lot of angst, mean Eddie, fluff.

Word count : 5k (wow sorry)

A/n: I am from England so I've never been to a dance, so anything I got wrong I'm sorry. Also I know it says fem reader but feel free to change things when reading so it fits you.

Not prove read

You've never been to a school dance before, so when you hear about the winter formal you were so excited. Despite being part of the “freaks” table you lovedressing up. Even if your group leader always teases you about it, you didn’t mind but sometimes he could go too far without realising, but you always tried to be forgiving and not cause an issue. After all, you were a newer member of the group, well you had joined a few months ago but everyone else had longer on you, even the freshman. You figure this might be the one time Eddie wouldn’t tease you too much, everyone went to the prom even the nerds that’s what happened in the movies. You place your lunch tray on the table excited to talk about the dance. They were all talking about a new Metallica album, so you wait until they are finished to talk about the dance.

You pick at your food, resting your head on your hand waiting and listening for an opening to speak, but they don’t stop. You could just talk to them about it tomorrow you thought. Everyone laughs at Eddie’s air drum solo, while laughing, Gareth, who is sitting next to you accidentally nudges your elbow, causing you to lose balance and nearly face-plant the food. The noise causes the table to look at you. “Jesus Gareth you nearly made her wear her food, I know she likes fashion but I don’t know if a sloppy joe top counts as high fashion” Eddie jokes like it’s hilarious, you just roll your eyes.

You expect them to go back to their conversation but now Eddie's eyes are on you he wouldn’t leave you alone. “Why are you so quiet?”. You shrug your shoulders “I was waiting”. Chris looks at you confused “waiting for what?”. Everyone’s eyes bore into you “waiting for you to finish your conversation, I didn’t want to interrupt”. Gareth smiles at you, “you’re never interrupting”. Eddie laughs a little but says nothing much to your surprise. “So what’s up?”. You smile “well..” you suddenly felt a little nervous, so you spoke softly “everyone’s talking about the dance, so I was gonna say we could get a limo or something and all go together or we could go separate if you have dates” you rambled.

The table fell silent. You look around. Had you said something wrong? Eddie shot up from his seat and found his way over to you. Holding onto your shoulders he gestures to the group in front of you. “Sweetheart if you wanted the popular table you are very lost”. You turn around as much as you could with his grip still on your shoulders, to face him. “Huh” you were truly lost what did the popular kids have to do with this? It’s not like you wanted to be prom queen. “God I thought you only dressed like them, now you are starting to sound like them”. Eddie put on a ridiculously high voice and let go of your shoulders to put on a show for his sheep. Skipping around the group to mock you, “Gareth don’t you think I have the prettiest dress? Chris, should I wear blue eye shadow or turquoise? Omg Jeff what about my nails, I can’t go to the prom without my nails done. Freshmen will you vote for me to be queen” the boys laugh (even the freshman, but mostly because they want to fit in not because they agree), like this is the most hilarious thing they have ever heard. He finds his way back to his seat “don’t be a cliche y/n”.

You felt a lump in your throat and you knew tears were about to pour. You didn’t want them to see you cry so got up from your seat, “see you at hellfire” you say, leaving the cafeteria. Gareth being forever the caring one looks at Eddie, “you took it too far”. He put his hands up “I didn’t force you all to laugh”, the group looked guilty. They thought it was friendly banter they didn’t think you were being serious about the dance. The hellfire club and school activities didn’t go together, so they didn’t know this was different for you. They had never had a girl in the group, they were still learning.

Gareth looks at Eddie and then the group “yeah and I shouldn’t have. I can admit when I’m wrong, can you?”. Eddie raises his eyebrow at the boy. No one questioned the dungeon master, so honestly, Eddie was surprised and kind of impressed, not that he would show it. “Watch it” Eddie sternly told the boy. Gareth rolls his eyes at Eddie, well this was new. “If she wants to go, one of us is going to have to take her”. The boys grumble, “shall we draw straws, shortest has to take her?”. Gareth hit his friend in the arm “grow up Jeff, is it such a bad thing to take a pretty girl to a dance? Jesus I’ll take her”. Chris kicks the boy’s leg under the table, he whispers harshly at him “don’t be a creep. You can’t call her pretty” the way he says this, is like it’s some kind of taboo subject. Chris looks to Eddie to back him up, who stays quiet, looking like he is contemplating something.

Gareth kicks back “you know just because she’s our friend doesn’t make her any less attractive. Plus I didn’t mean it like that, I’m just saying it’s not the worst thing. I swear to god you’re all like freaky freshmen”. Dustin and Mike look over to the conversation they had been trying to stay out of “hey!” Gareth looks over to them “no offence”. Eddie suddenly slams his ringed hands on the table, to get control and order back. “Enough! If one of us has to take her it’s gonna be me, that’s the job of the leader to take one for the team, right?” He looks around the table. “But you all owe me.”

Gareth was right Eddie thought there was nothing wrong with taking a pretty girl to a dance especially if it was you. He didn’t know you actually wanted to go, he was only teasing if you had only asked. He might have grumbled but he would have agreed eventually. He always teased you, and you always took it, never said anything, sometimes your hands would ball into tiny fists and you would have a little pout which Eddie found cute which he wouldn’t admit because finding things cute wasn’t metal. But he didn’t mean to upset you. Maybe asking you would make things right, even if that meant putting his pride on the line. He couldn’t do it straight away, he thought, because then it would seem like he was doing it because he felt bad.

You had a free period now, where you were working on a history project with Ross, who sat next to you. All you could think about was Eddie’s impression, did you sound like that? You didn’t realise you were daydreaming until Ross clears his throat, “you okay?”. He was always so kind to you. which made it easy to talk to him, and right now you needed someone who would listen and not judge. Especially if he cares enough to ask if you’re okay. “Is wanting to go to the dance, stupid?”. He wasn’t sure if you were making a joke or not, but from the look on your face, you were serious. “It can’t be that stupid if everyone goes. I think it’s nice” you sigh in relief, you aren’t weird “exactly!” You realise you’re too loud, looking around and apologising. “it’s just I’ve never been to one before and I thought it would be nice”.

Ross put his hand on yours trying to calm you “it will be” he smiles. He blushes as your hands touch, he’s had the hugest crush on you since you started school a couple of months ago. He moves his hand realising he’s being too forward, especially since he assumed you have a thing with Eddie. “For some people, it will be. I don’t think it’s gonna happen for me anytime soon.” You start doodling in your notebook, you don’t want to cry again over this so you try and distract yourself. “What?”

You keep your eyes on the book in front of you, while speaking “well I don’t exactly wanna go alone and I know like 7 people and since none, of those, are gonna ask. I think I’m gonna have to give it a pass”. Ross thought you and Eddie would have gone together, otherwise, he would have at least tried to ask you. Surely Munson wasn’t stupid enough not to ask you, he thought, but he had to Clarify, “not even Munson?”.

You look up from your notebook laughing as if it was the funniest thing you’d heard all day. It might have been “not even Munson are you kidding? could you imagine him going to a dance? You should have heard him when I mentioned it to everyone. I swear sometimes that boy can be so mean”. You shook your head at the thought of lunch, and focus your eyes back on the paper in front of you. “so you’re not going with him”. You didn’t need to keep being reminded you weren’t going to the dance, you understood he was just showing interest and that he cared. But you were sick of this and especially sick of talking about Eddie. “I am absolutely not going with Edward Munson”. Ross smiles goofily at you, not that you can see as you are too distracted trying to get the shading right on the eye you were drawing. “Good”. He says You look at him thinking you heard him say something. “I’m sorry about the dance”. You give him a light smile, he was a nice guy, even if he didn’t know when to stop with questions. “it’s fine, shall we get on with this?”. He picks his pen up off the table “sure”.

You went to hellfire that night but hardly said a word, the boys tried to apologise, it didn’t feel that sincere but at least they knew to apologise. “We’re sorry,” they say mumbling, “we didn’t know how much it meant”. It was nice that they said sorry but it didn’t make you any less upset especially when Eddie refuses to apologise. What you didn’t know was he was overthinking to the max, how was he supposed to say sorry? Would you believe him? If he started being nice would you realise he fancied you, which meant you could reject him? So with all these thoughts going around his head, he kept quiet. Figuring asking you in a few days would show he was sorry.

Two days later, You were starting to put the whole dance thing behind you, well you were trying but it was hard when that was all anyone in school was talking about. Even the boys had started to talk about it to you, which felt like a slap in the face if none of them were going to take you. You had your Walkman on listening to a mixtape Eddie had made you full of his favourite bands Metallica, Dio, Black Sabbath, a few others and your favourite song “come on Eileen”. He told you he did this so you would listen to the tape, at the time you wondered if Eddie liked you as you liked him, but over time you learnt from how he teased you, he saw you strictly platonically, you were just one of the guys. So whatever feeling you thought you had got ignored.

Walking up to your locker you notice a flower in the vent, surely this was put in the wrong locker. You get closer and pull it out to inspect it, looking at the flower confused. You were sure you had never told anyone what your favourite flower was, maybe it was just a coincidence. It was probably a cliché flower that all girls like. That's all you thought were after all. A tap on your shoulder pulls you out of your thoughts. You turn around and see Ross with a huge bouquet of your favourite flowers with a little white teddy nestled in the middle. Other people are watching in the corridor including Eddie and Gareth who are talking at his locker. Upon the sight, Eddie clenches his fist the knuckles going white from the pressure. You smile brightly at Ross, he was a good guy, he must be trying to cheer you up after the other day you thought.

“oh my God, those are beautiful. They are actually my favourite” you say with glee. Ross looks at you with admiration “I know that's why I got them” he says while handing them over to you. You can’t help the rosy hue that comes on your cheeks. “ you shouldn't have but also thank you”. You say while hugging him, careful not to crumple the flowers “what are they for though?”. The boy rubs his neck awkwardly, hoping you couldn’t tell how nervous he was “well I guess partly an apology for not asking sooner and for assuming you already had a date” you couldn't understand what was happening. nothing like this had ever happened to you.

“Do you wanna go to the winter formal with me?”. You froze, could this be happening? Were all those tears worth it, now you were getting to go the dance. Someone wanted to go to the dance with you, they didn’t have to be forced. So in your head with your thoughts, you didn’t even realise you had left the boy standing there awkwardly waiting for an answer. “It doesn't have to be a date if you don'-“ you cut him off, realising you took too long to reply. “well I hope it’s a date, otherwise you got me all excited for nothing”. You can’t stop smiling at the man in front of you, was he always this handsome and you hadn’t noticed? His eyes widened, he couldn’t believe his luck the girl he liked wanted to go out with him, “So that's a yes”. You nod your head “that's a yes”. He can’t help himself, so he hugs you tight, wanting to kiss you with happiness but knowing that was too forward. “Thank you” he whispers into your ear making you giggle.

Eddie had been getting angrier the more he watched the scene in front of him. How dare he touch you, or make you laugh, or buy you flowers. He knew he was torturing himself watching, but he couldn’t look away. Steam might as well have been coming out of Eddie’s ears with how mad he was. However his friend at the side of him had a completely different complexion on his face, he was merry, and he loved seeing his friends happy. “well looks like she didn't need our help after all”. He joked to Eddie, not yet seeing how annoying he was, as he too couldn’t keep his eyes off the scene. Silence, he expected Eddie to make a signature witty remark, or laugh or something, anything but there was nothing. He looked over to his friend who looked as if he was going to beat someone up. He tried to fill the silence. “At least now your Saturday night is all free. Dnd session?”.

Eddie still couldn’t take his eyes off the sight, now glaring at not just at Ross but you too. Completely ignoring anything his younger friend was saying. Gareth couldn’t understand why he would be so annoyed about this, now he had his evening free. He never wanted to go to the formal. The only reason he would be this annoyed if he fancied… oh it now all made sense to the boy, the constant teasing, wanting to be the one to take her, always wanting her around. Never shut up talking about her. The school bell rings signalling the start of class, so you leave a parting gift of a kiss on Ross’s cheek. This was the thing that set Eddie over the edge, he stormed off in a huff, almost forgetting Gareth was even there.

Since that day you and Eddie had hardly spoken in fact, Eddie had hardly spoken at all. Which was very strange of him. You stop mentioning the dance as you knew it was a sore spot for the group plus now you had a date to talk to about all the details. Who didn’t seem to mind how long you talked about dress or plans for the night, he just liked hearing you talk. Despite how happy you should be, Something was keeping you awake at night, maybe it was nerves, who knew but you felt like something was missing.

You are Walking hand in hand with Ross through the gym doors, in your pink simplistic but beautiful dress with your date with a black suit and a pink tie. For once you felt like you belonged in this school, you weren’t the awkward girl who couldn’t get dates. You were a beautiful teenage girl going to a school dance with a handsome boy. Cliche or not, you were happy.

You danced to all the cheesy music on the dance floor with Ross and his friends until your feet ached. It was fine when it was a slow song because you could hold on to Ross for support but now it was faster music you knew you need a rest. “I need to sit down”, Ross nods leading you to a table near the dance floor, he went to sit down with you. You shook your head and held onto his arm to stop him, “dance, have fun. I’ll be fine. I’ll be back in 10” you smile. He didn’t want to leave you but how could he say no when looking into your beautiful eyes.

You looked around the room, everyone looked so nice. They had transformed the gym surprisingly well, you would never be able to tell there were kids doing laps around here only 48 hours prior. There wasn’t any drama tonight, it’s almost like this one night everyone just wanted to celebrate and didn’t care about social standards, which was nice. You didn’t realise how many standards have been changed until you spotted the last person you’d expect to be here with a cheerleader. She wasn’t one of the most popular cheerleaders but she was still part of the group, he said he despised. Who’s the cliché now you thought bitterly. You shook your head, you had no right to be mean just because he didn’t want to go with you. You supposed he could go with someone else even if that hurt to admit.

The cheerleader huffed at him and walked away, that didn’t take long. You didn’t know what he said but she was pissed. He was your friend, so hurt or not you had to go and check on him. You walk over to him. He looks up to see you walking towards him, he thinks he must have died and gone to heaven because the only way to describe you was angelic. He was such a fool for not asking you, he knew that now more than ever. He really liked you, and he wouldn’t deny that to himself anymore. Not when you were that perfect and not even just look-wise. You sat down in the plastic seat next to him, be cool he told himself.

He looked handsome in his black shirt and black jeans with his hair in a low bun. It was nice seeing him outside of his usual attire, you wanted to tell him how nice he looked, but this look wasn’t for you it was for her. “So Chris talked you out of the blue eyeshadow?” You joke to Eddie. He was beyond confused, it didn’t help that he couldn’t think straight when you look that beautiful. You soon realised he didn’t have a clue what you were talking about, A situation which has been tormenting your thoughts for weeks and he couldn’t even remember it. “Your flattering impression of me” you joked like it didn’t still kind of sting.

Eddie sunk into his seat at the thought of that day, he should have just asked you as soon as you mentioned it instead of teasing you. No, he should have asked you as soon as the winter formal was announced. Why did he have to have the Munson curse of stubbornness? He looks at you sincerely, a twinkle of sadness in his eyes “I’m sorry”. You are shocked, so you bring the back of your hand to Eddie’s head, the action causing Eddie’s heart to beat. It felt so loud he wondered if you could hear it. “Are you okay? You’re acting strange, first the dance and now you’re apologising. You must be sick”.

He laughs slightly moving your hand from his face hoping it will help his heart to stop, but it didn’t. “Sorry is in my vocabulary, it’s just I don’t always say it when I should. Also I knew I would end up here one way or another”. You gave him the strangest look, maybe this wasn’t Eddie in front of you, he certainly wasn’t acting like the man from a few weeks ago who thought a dance was the most stupid thing he had ever heard of. “What?”. He shrugs his shoulder like what he was about to say was the most casual thing ever “ just not who I thought I’d be going with”. Surely he wasn’t talking about you, no he couldn’t be. He probably meant someone else. You thought your crush on him had stopped, but the world was really testing you tonight.

You couldn’t possibly look at him right now, so you scan the room for his date. “yeah, maybe you should have at least taken someone you like, even as a friend”. He nods, he was gonna shoot his shot, he had already fucked up so he surely couldn’t anymore. “Well, I was planning on taking you so…”. You choke on air, he wasn’t making any sense, had he gotten high before this, was that why he was acting like this? “you wouldn’t stop telling me how stupid it was, that I was a cliché”.

He played with the rings on his fingers, both of you avoiding eye contact with each other. “Yeah, but looking at your face, when you left. I kind of thought I had to”. He wanted to slap himself, why was he so awkward, maybe it was better this way never truly confessing how he felt stopped him from getting hurt. “Well turns out you didn’t have to”. You say signalling to your date. You're happy, who was he to get in the way he thought. But his mouth was quicker than his head and he spoke “true. But if he didn’t ask, I would have taken you”.

Whatever this game was, your heart couldn’t deal with it, you needed the Eddie who teased you back, he was easier to read than this one who wouldn’t even look at you. Maybe if you start it, he would come back with one of his quick remarks. “I wouldn’t have wanted to go with you anyways, you would have been telling me how lame and stupid it was all night. And you'd complain about having to wear a shirt” you joked, lightly hitting his arm hoping he would look at you.

No, you had the completely wrong idea about him, being with you wasn’t a chore, he would have been lucky. He needed you to know that. “I wouldn’t have. I would do anything to make you happy, so if that would have meant spending a night dancing to terrible music and having to wear a shirt. I would have and would have been happy.” He finally glances up and truly looks at you. “I’ll always do anything for you, I hope you know that”. You had never seen the look on his face before or maybe you had never noticed. “You look beautiful by the way, I’m sorry that should have been the first thing I said”.

Now you were the one with heart problems but you had the added problem of butterflies. You were gonna be sick, this couldn’t be real. You had a date you weren’t allowed to feel this way about someone else. Someone who is your friend, someone who also has a date. You needed to get out of there before your heart took control of your actions instead of your head. “I should probably get back to Ross”.

He felt his heart shatter he always knew you’d have to leave, but for you to go back to someone who should have been him, hurt. “Yeah, of course, have a good night. I'm probably gonna head home early”. You shook your head even if that might have been easier for your heart. He had already come with a pretty girl, who you were sure was nice if he decided to bring her. So even if you couldn’t have him, you didn’t mind as long as he was happy. “Give her a chance, you never know you could enjoy yourself if you keep your mouth shut for two seconds” you joke and walk away to find your date.

If that’s what you wanted he would listen, even if all he wanted was to dance with you. So he went in search of his date, Alice. He found her sitting glumly on a bench sipping punch, he sat down next to her. She deserved better than this, cheerleader or not. “I’m sorry, we should be out there dancing and I’m here pinning over someone who doesn’t even like me. I’m truly sorry, you deserve better than Edward Munson”. She shrugs her shoulders “I knew you didn’t like me, it’s my fault”. He couldn’t hurt someone else, she did not deserve this. “No I’m the stupid one here, you’re beautiful, and any guy would be lucky to have you. I’m just unfortunately stupidly in love with someone else”. Alice held his hand to comfort him, he was trying to be honest and she appreciates it. Not many guys she knew, did that. “Have you told her?”. He laughs a little at the thought. “No, I missed my chance”. He signals to you on the dance floor with Ross, swaying to a slow song.

You felt like you could cry but that wasn’t fair on Ross. You should be happy, he was so lovely, he was good for you. Ross couldn't help but notice the eyes of Eddie that were locked on you from across the room. He look at you smiling, he wasn't the guy you should be with he knew that now. Especially when he could see the hurt that lay beneath the fake smile you wore. “Was Eddie okay?”. Of course, he saw that “yeah he’s fine” how were you supposed to describe what happened? “I like you y/n I do, but I’m not stupid. You like him”. You want to deny this, so you try to stutter out a response but you can't form words. “It’s okay, I understand, you can’t control your heart. You both like each other, so just because he’s stubborn doesn’t mean you should be”. You kissed him on the cheek, god he was nice. “Thank you, you don’t hate me right?”. He smiles “I could never hate you, plus it would make history pretty awkward”. He jokes.

Ross looks over to the bench where the cheerleader and freak were sitting. “Now there’s a girl over there who looks like she needs a dance, hopefully, you can help the other one to finally smile”. He left to walk towards the pair. Eddie saw Ross walking over to them, was he mad? Had you told him what he had said? Did he go too far saying you were beautiful? He didn’t want to fight but he was ready to defend himself if a punch was thrown. Ross reached out his hand, and Eddie flinches waiting for impact. But nothing, because Ross’s hand wasn’t meant for him, it was meant for his date.

He held his hand out expectantly “do you wanna dance? I kind of got ditched by my date.” Alice nods and got up to dance with him. Before she left to turns to Eddie "tell her" and with that, she left. Were you okay? Did you ditch Ross, because of Eddie? Did Eddie upset you again? He didn’t want to ruin your night. You sat on the bench next to him. There was a beat of silence what would you say to each other? You were the first to break the ice. “You look beautiful too by the way” you smile at him. “Thanks” heat rises to his cheeks. “I’m sorry if I ruined your night”.

You shook your head, “it’s not over yet, so it can’t be ruined, well I guess it depends on how you answer next. Will you go to the winter-“ he put his hand on your mouth. “No I was supposed to ask that. Will you go to the dance with me?”. You licked his hand to get him to move it which worked “does it matter who asked who first?”. He nodded “yeah because I really wanted to ask the girl I like to a dance”. You blush. “Well I really wanted to ask the boy I like to a dance”. Without thinking he grabs your face and kisses you. Taken by surprise it takes you a second to kiss back. When you finally both stop for the air you are both smiling like Cheshire cats. “I wish I would have told you before, then I could have done that a lot sooner”. You nod. “So do I?”.

Come On Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners comeson over the speakers, “are you gonna ask me to dance or am I gonna have to do that too” you joke. He playfully hits your shoulder standing up, holding out his hand to you. “ Would you like to join me to dance to my favourite song Mylady”. You reach out to hold onto his hand. “This is my favourite song”. He shakes his head “ anything that makes me think of you is my favourite”.

#eddie munson #eddie imagine #eddie munson angst #eddie fanfic #eddie munson fluff #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson x yn #stranger things fluff #stranger things imagines #stranger things one shot #eddie munson fan fiction #stranger things angst

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omar-bb · 7 months ago

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notes & quotes from omar's live today

he wanted to release Red Light sooner but he and his team wanted to get it right

he's excited to headline at Gröna Lund - gonna be playing a new song there and at his other shows this summer!

"one of my favorite songs. i'm telling you, you will fucking choke when you hear that one. it's dark, it's dirty, it's groovy..."

"should I leak some of it? it would be fun for you to be able to sing along..."

"i hope it's fine by my team that I just leaked that"

"maybe it'll be the next single after Red Light. only maybe. I'm not promising anything"

someone asked about an Asia tour - "I cannot be live bc I'm gonna leak a lot of shit. But you wanna know something funny? This song .... it is actually a k-pop pitch song from start. it was made with k-pop in mind. it is not fully k-pop and now that i've been doing my touch on it, it is a little less k-pop but.. they actually wrote the song k-pop in mind."

teased doing a tour in the future

another "leak" - "I was actually meant to go to korea like right now or a month ago, like after the oscars ... i was supposed to go to korea. but it never happened. i was very sad. but maybe one day.

he had a scared moment where music started playing in the other room and he thought it was an unreleased song but it was just his alejandro tiktok lol

inspo for red light? "I didn't write the song ... it was a demo that got sent to me. at first ... it was a girl singing red light, and when i heard it the first time i was like yo this sounds like fucking rihanna ... i was like is this a long lost rihanna song? this is the greatest thing i've ever heard. and then i just fucking took it. i was like this is my song before rihanna takes it from me. and now it's my song."

Red Light music video when? "we shot a visualizer, so it's not a music video ... it's very beautiful. very stunning. i've never done anything like that. ... it's not a real music video. it's more visuals for the song."

will be doing red light on 25 may and also a new song

"you'll hear a whole new omar when you hear that song"

he has been replying to messages in his community on whatsapp and sms. they'll be leaking more stuff through there

new OMR Beauty product when? "....................... stay tuned"

"you will die when you see the next launch of OMR Beauty. that's all I'm saying. Next!!!"

will he start a fashion brand? "i don't really have the time for that unfortunately. ... not for now"

thinks he is not gonna bleach his hair

Someone asked red light spanish version when? and he sang a bit of it in spanish

omar backflip when? "when i'm in heaven"

is he going to act again?"i'm actually reading some scripts right now. just reading, it's not anything happening really yet, just testing the waters. we'll see, i would love to act. i actually miss acting, it was a fun time ... nothing will ever be like YR obviously, but just the thought of meeting new ppl, new friends, being together for a few weeks or a few months, and filming smth very special, that would be so much fun. ... i'm actually reading a really cool script right now" but more focusing on music right now

he has 40-50 new songs from the last year apparently??? Maybe i misunderstood this

album when? "don't know, we'll see" - he has a lot of songs and could drop an album but he wants it to be perfect so it'll be awhile

there will be red light merch this summer

he and edvin hang out sometimes

not doing Rix FM this year

there will not be 12 red light remixes lol "but maybe a few"

Eurovision 2025? "absolutely not. sorry not sorry." something about always being thrown out of the competition

he's stopped drinking coffee regularly and drinks matcha instead

someone suggested hoemars as the fandom name and he laughed lol

a lot is happening in May he says !! "y'all better eat good, sleep well" lolol

he said he might do another live next week once Red Light is out

#finally caught one of these!!!!#he's so funny #no word on the project with edvin #omar live on tiktok #omar on tiktok #omar rudberg

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thecapricunt1616 · 7 months ago

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The Bear & His Honey - Chapter 18

♡ Chapter Inspo: The Tortured Poets Department ; TS - 'I scratch your head, you fall asleep like a tattooed golden retriever. But you awaken with dread, pounding nails in your head, but i've read this one where you come undone - I chose this cyclone with you, and who's gonna hold you like me?'

♡ Summary: Winnie meets Donna for the first time, Carmy ends up needing an emergency therapy session.

♡ W/C: 8,071

♡ Posted Date: 04/22/24

♡ A/N: Eep here we are! 18 chapters and the plot is finally starting to thicken up! I'm enjoying where this story is going very much. I hope you all are too! When I heard the golden retriever line I was like - wait....Carmy and Winnie hahahah!!! I'm loving this new album V much - tried not to add too much Taylor-talk in here but it's CANON that Winnies a fan so it would be OOC for her to not be excited heheheh ♡ Warnings for BTC: Swearing, Physical Violence, Alcoholism, Mentions of Police, Family domestic abuse, attempt to enable said behaviors, Sad Carmy

➵ 𝐂𝐡𝐞𝐜𝐤 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐲 𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭 ♡

➵ 𝘊𝘭𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘲𝘶𝘦𝘴𝘵 𝘴𝘰𝘮𝘦𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 / 𝘤𝘩𝘢𝘵 ♡

➵ 𝐂𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡 𝐮𝐩 𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐋𝐚𝐬𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 ♡

𝒲𝒾𝓃𝓃𝒾𝑒𝓈 𝒫.𝒪.𝒱. 🍯

Her shrill voice bounced off the walls, and quite frankly made my head hurt. I took a deep breath, clearing my throat and preparing for what was to come. I’d been apart of many screaming matches in my life since Id realized I could fight my mother back - so at minimum 15 years worth of defending myself against a raging narcissist.

“You don’t have to talk to her, my purse is just in there- I need it it has our house keys” I said so just we could hear.

“Where is he! CARMEN ANTHONY. YOU WILL COME SPEAK TO ME I AM YOUR MOTHER!” she shouted. It was clear she was drunk by the way she was speaking and annunciating her words.

“Baby go- go outside, I’m gonna deal with her” he said softly, his hands were shaking.

“I’m not leaving you alone, bear. I promise, I’m not gonna add fuel” I said and took his hand, holding it in mine and squeezing gently. “I love you - and that means we do things together even when they’re hard” I whispered and he nodded, swallowing thickly.

“Donna! Donna sweetheart we should step outside huh? Let’s go, let’s go outside, we'll have a cigarette. The babies are here, you don’t want them to hear this? No?” Jimmy told her, ushering her down the hall towards where we were in the dining room that contained the front door.

When she saw him it was like everything stopped, I felt like I was trapped in a lions den, or a fucking bear cave more like it. “Who is this?” She said, just above a whisper and she looks at me, then our enclasped hands, then Carmen again. “Who the fuck is this, Carmen?” She questioned

“Mom. Mom. Listen-“ I interrupt him because I’d never heard his voice sound so small and scared

“Hi! I’m Winnie?” I said casually. “And- I assume you’re Donna? Right?” I gently rubbed the back of his hand with the pad of my thumb, it felt like I was trying to tame a mountain lion with a smile.

“And what kind of fucking name is Winnie. What the hell is this- a goddamn cartoon? And why are you in my daughters house?” She asked and I maintained my cool, seeing as the whole family pretty much had silently crowded in the hall to watch this go down.

“Oh-“ I cleared my throat, trying to maintain my cool and I held our hands up that were laced together “I’m well acquainted with your son.” I drop them back to our sides “he’s lovely. May I just say you did a wonderful job raising him.” I said and he squeezed my hand tightly

“And I’m here to talk to said son alone. So you can take your cute little carrot top self back wherever you came from and fuck right off missy “ she snapped and I raised my brows, but before I could open my mouth Jimmy stepped in

“Heyyy! Hey hey! Donna- Donna the girl hasn’t done anything wrong come on-“

“Oh shut up jimmy.” She seethed

“MOM!” Carmen snapped, “I’m not fuckin’ doing this” he rose his voice so she could tell he was serious “I’m not. That was it- we’re done we’re leaving good fuckin job- I’m fucking leaving. Syd can you bring Winnie’s fuckin purse please?” He called to her and I saw her shoving through everyone gathered in the hallway to get back into the living room.

“Oh so you’re gonna choose this stupid girl over your own mother? What are you too good for your mother now? Is she- is she some hot shot chef? Oh- no let me guess- she’s a nurse since you messed things up with the Doctor, Claire?” She said and my mouth dropped

“Actually-“ I scoff “I work at a library- your son is the ‘hot shot’ chef. The only one in your family might I add? Donna, you are speaking to everyone horribly right now. Why do you think he wouldn’t want to talk to you when you’re acting like-“ I see her jerk her arm and I am suddenly soaking wet, and my eyes are stinging worse than I’d ever felt in my life. I shrieked, wiping my face furiously and coughing, my lungs burning as the alcoholic drink that had been thrown in my face choked me from when I’d gasped in surprise and inhaled a gulp of it.

“Oh- Donna!” Jimmy said “no- no now you gotta go dear, what’s wrong with you?”

“Someone had to shut her up to stop that annoying little speech she was putting me to sleep” she laughed drunkenly

“Mom what- WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID?! ARE YOU? WHAT IS YOUR FUCKING OBSESSION RUINING EVERYTHING?! THIS IS WHY - THIS- THIS IS WHY I DIDN'T WANT TO SEE YOU- I CAN'T STAND YOU! I CANT FUCKING STAND YOU MOM” Carmy roars.

“Oh my god you crazy bitch” Sadie said angrily. I couldn’t even see what was going on, everything was sticky and wet and it was driving me insane. I was still stuck in a coughing fit as I rubbed my eyes but the stinging was getting worse. The amount of overwhelmed, embarrassment, fear, anger I felt threw me headfirst into a panic attack.

“What did she throw? Oh my god my contacts Sadie - I- I need to take out my contacts” I said gasping and coughing as I felt a hand on my arm guiding me to the kitchen

“I know, I know, shhhh” she coaxed, bringing me over to the sink. “I’m gonna get them out but you have to do me a favor and stay still” she ordered, but I could barely fucking understand her with the pain.

I began sobbing uncontrollably and she turned the sink on “I’m so sorry” I said and we heard crashing coming from the front room

“What? What did she do?! MOM!!!” I heard Natalie shout “MOM THESE ARE BRAND FUCKING NEW CARPETS!! GET HER OUT!!!” She shrieked.

“YOUR FUCKING CARPETS? SHE JUST BLINDED MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND AND YOU GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE CARPETS, NAT?! THIS IS ON YOU, YOU’RE THE FUCKING REASON SHES HERE.” Carmy was in a rage. I’d never heard him so angry before.

“Everything e-everything I’m sticking- i’m sticking oh my god Sadie. Everything stings, Sadie. Help me” I cried, “what did I even say why did she do that?” I sobbed, each time I tried to open my eyes I was faced with a searing pain. All of the screaming, the fear of his mother finding me and doing further damage for god knows why, the worry for Carmy and what was happening to him - it was all too much.

“CALL THE FUCKIN’ COPS THIS SHIT IS GETTIN’ TOO FUCKIN OUT OF HAND.” Richie shouted

“I am alreadyyy on it- yup okay- let me just- I can’t hear them! I’m gonna go out there“ I heard Syd say awkwardly

“Open” Sadie said and pried my left eye open, quickly scooping out the contact before doing the same with the right causing me to wince. She had to essentially trap me against the counter and wall so I wouldn't out of instinct slap and kick her for trying to dig in my fucking eyes with her fingers.

“Ok rinse” she said once she managed to get both of the contacts out. I dove for the sink, scrubbing my face over with water, rinsing out my eyes quickly and doing my best to hold them open under the running water despite the burning and uncomfortable stinging.

“G-get Carmen please, please” I said through shaky sobs. I hadn’t even been able to listen to what was going on since Sadie had scooped out my contacts, it was as if she and I were the only people in the house due to all the adrenaline from the pain coursing through my body allowing me to focus on the task at hand the fucking blinding pain.

“Yup ok. Okay I’ll find him” she said and I heard a sharp slap come from the other room

“MOM - MOM!! DID YOU REALLY JUST HIT HIM LIKE THAT! Oh, Carmy- Are you ok? Go- go out of here- go” Natalie shrieks at donna and there’s a loud smashing of glass

“MY PLATES!!! MY PLATES!!!” Natalie shouts and starts to cry, “Jimmy! Jimmy those are my special china we got at our wedding!” She sobs “Mom! Why are you doing this?!” she pleaded

“That bitch is FUCKED up! What in the fuckin ghetto ass shit! Isn’t this the north side?!” Sadie said, causing Richie to laugh

“Welcome to the fuckin Berzatto house my friend” he told her loudly over the chaos

“Natalie! Natalie - Honey- Uncle Jimmy will replace your plates, Come on honey we need to get her out I need your help grab her other arm!” I heard Jimmy tell her

“Oh my god baby” I heard from behind me and Carmy rushed over, touching my back and I flinch.

“Don’t- don’t touch me I’m gonna have a panic response I can’t see- I don’t wanna hurt you” I said quickly, trying to even my breathing and stop crying so hard. “Please get my bag” I told him, continuing to rinse my eyes until the pain had subsided enough to open them.

“Yeah- uh…yeah” he said and I heard him go into the living room. I felt around the counter until I found the paper towel, patting my face down with it to dry.

When he came in, I took my glasses out of my purse, putting them on my face to see his cheek was unnaturally bright red- it looked so painful. There was a big raised mark with fanned out stripes from a handprint - she slapped him so hard it would bruise.

Suddenly, my panic for myself melted away and I went in to protector mode, any worry or fear melted and reformed into concern for the sweet, damaged man before me. “Oh..Bear” I whispered, rushing to the freezer and getting a bag of frozen vegetables. “My poor love”

I went over, gently pressing it to his cheek and he hissed in pain “yeah…” he said softly. “ it looks bad?” He asked

“I think she should go to jail. Either that or she agrees to go to rehab,” I said softly, gently thumbing out the wrinkle in his brow with my thumb.

“She’s not gonna go to rehab” he muttered, looking up at the ceiling and swallowing hard. I could tell he was biting back tears, as was I, because this environment wasn’t safe to cry.

“Then she goes to jail. Because this is gonna give you a black eye - and don’t you know how much I love your pretty face?” I joked, trying to lighten the mood a bit and I kissed his good cheek.

He cracked the slightest smile, “yeah she really got me. She’s never uh…well not since I was a kid but I don’t think she’s ever hit me with all her strength like that. I was scared for a second she broke my fuckin jaw” he said and I gently rub his shoulder

“Baby really” I said softly. “Half of your face is gonna be bruised. She needs help” I said quietly.

“But….she’d never forgive me” he said brokenly, averting my gaze.

“Forgive you?! Oh bear. No, no my love. Carm, you should be thinking if you can ever forgive her. Not the other way around.” I gently rub his chest “lets go sit on the couch ok? We don’t want this rash to set and it’ll be so much worse. Cold compress should help the aching and the red and the swelling” I explained. He nodded a bit and took over holding the bag, going with me to the living room.

“I want you on my lap” he said softly and I nodded, sitting down and wrapping my arm across his shoulders, holding the bag with my other hand against his cheek.

“They’re fine- yeah- Winnie- how are your eyes?” Syd asked as she came in the living room talking on the phone

“Okay Syd, thanks. It’s Carmy I’m worried about- is your ear ok bear?” I asked him

“Still ringing” he mumbled, resting his other cheek on my chest and shutting his eyes.

“He says his ear is ringing. I’m gonna have him checked out tomorrow” I told her and she nods

“Do you…wanna press charges?” She asked and I shrug

“Tell them well know when they get here based on her behavior and if she’s being remorseful,” I said and she nodded, heading back to the front room.

“Oh my god- oh god. Carmy - Carmy I’m so sorry” Natalie said, rushing in and sitting next to us, “Winnie- Winnie I’m so sorry please forgive me I promise. I told her she has to go to rehab I told her she has to go or she can’t come here anymore-“ I cut her off

“Natalie…” I said softly. “If she doesn’t agree to be checked into an emergency rehab center- tonight? She is going to jail. Tonight. I will make sure of it. So if you don’t want her to go to jail, I would go talk her into rehab. There is nothing you have to be sorry to us for, lovey. If anything- apologize to Pete? Apologize to your daughters. But not us. Because Carmen has been saying for at least 2 months he no longer wants to interact with her, and the only time he has to is when you push him to do so. I love you, it’s why I’m telling you this. And I appreciate the roll you have in Carmys life and all you do for him- but you are enabling her. And it’s hurting the family. No matter what happens after tonight- this is the last time either of us will see her unless we’re shown definite proof she is sober.” I explained.

Carmen just sat silently, his other cheek flush against my chest with his eyes closed, likely pretending to not be here. He didn’t have the mental strength to stick up to her like this right now, nor did he have the emotional capacity to do it gently. So I was stepping up to take the load for him.

“Okay…” she nodded “okay.” She repeated and went back out to the front yard where Jimmy had wrangled Donna off to wait for the cops. “I love you” he muttered into my shirt, and he sounded utterly defeated.

Donna had chosen rehab- reluctantly. It wasn’t without a huge fight between her, Carmy, and Natalie, with many tears from each side being shed.

When we finally got home, we wordlessly stripped out of our clothes, I started the shower for us and he got our towels for us and set out our night time lavender lotion we shared on top of the counter. I put the towels in the warmer Carmy had bought for us, since he said it ‘was too much an effort for me to put them in the dryer while we shower, and the floor out there was so cold, and he dripped all over while going to get them’ so the $200 purchase was well worth it to him.

We had a silent shower, but it was not any less intimate then any of our other shared showers. We still washed each other, we still gently brushed eachothers wet strands of hair off of the others forehead. I had to swallow a lump in my throat each time my gaze met the raised bumps on his swollen red cheek.

I wasn’t sure how I was going to get through the next few weeks until he healed. I’d much rather her had slapped me. I could hardly imagine what he was going through inside his head right now. I had to actually remove myself and go throw up when I heard him crying, begging her to listen to Sugar and just go with her to rehab- or he would have to tell the cops to take her.

Apparently, she went through the typical stages of grief an addict goes through when realizing they’ve been backed into a corner and are no longer able to make the choice to keep using for themself. She had started by telling them the classic

‘I know- I know I’ve done some messed up things- I know I’ve hurt you kids! But I’m your mother- you really are gonna send your mother to jail? Hmm? Carmy? My littlest bear. You’d send your mama away? I don’t believe that, Carmen. Oh Carmen Anthony. My sweetest boy. Don’t you let your sister control the situation- you don’t want this sweetheart you don’t want to do this to your mother’

And when Carmen simply told her ‘no- I’m with Sug, mom you need rehab- this can’t keep goin’ ’ she flew off the handle once more, screaming at him, Sugar and the police - telling them that they were crazy- that all of them were lying about her, and that she didn’t even have a problem at all. That her ingrate horrible leech children- the ones that she had left at least, had planned for her to be taken away and locked up because they hate her- for why? She couldn’t give an answer to that in her drunken state.

For the last part of her Oscar worthy performance - She wailed, she screamed, she cursed Carmen and told him he was a mistake- that together he and Natalie had ruined her life. That she ‘knew she should have stopped at Michael.’ That they drove their father away together, drove her to drink, and then drove their brother to do what he did. That they took everything from her. That her very pregnancy’s and births with them were pure hell- as if she was birthing demons and that she’d been miserable since the day Natalie had been born, and that it hadn’t stopped. And not without telling Carmen he made things all the more worse.

In her vicious words, as told to me by Syd while Carmen comforted Natalie in the laundry room as she sobbed so hard she could barely breathe - the last thing Donna said after finding out Carmy would be the one paying for her treatment - while she being put in Pete’s car so he could drop her off was;

“Your father couldn’t handle your social deficits anymore- so he left us. that’s what really happened you drove your father away from your brother and sister. You’re the reason the family is the way it is.”

After Syd told me, I sobbed so hard I threw up again.

The look on Carmen’s face when he came to collect me in the living room to leave after tending to Natalie and getting her to bed was nothing short of haunted.

The drive back, likely goes without saying- was silent.

Carmy cut off the water after he finished delicately rinsing my hair, opening the curtain and grabbing my towel first, wrapping it around my body.

“Thanks.” I muttered, squeezing the water from my hair before drying my body off and stepping out.

He hummed in response. The rest of the evening was that- silent. It was almost a shell shock kind of silent. I felt insane guilt, so much so that silent hot tears rolled down my cheeks as we laid in the dark, trying our best to get some sleep.

“I- I know we said goodnight already” I sniffle, my voice hoarse and raw from crying. “I’ll shut up after this- I just had to tell you I’m sorry. I’m so so fucking sorry Bear. I’ll listen to you from here on. I’m sorry- It- it was so stupid it was my fault- you know your family better than anyone I was so dumb to push you and to ask to stay. I think back on it and I realize why you got upset when I asked on the porch- but hindsight is always 20/20. I got you hurt. I hurt you and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I love you. You know I never would intentionally hurt you…right? And it feels like- like I did this to you” I said, gently rubbing his arm.

He sat up, flicking on the lamp on his side. “It’s my mom.” He said, wiping my tears. “Please. Baby. Please. I- I can’t be away from you tonight- but if I start gettin’ worked up again- I’m not gonna be able t’sleep here. Please. Princess, Honey - I love you. I fucking love you. Is that what you need? I need you to be okay right now baby- at least not cryin’. I’m hangin’ on-“ he took a shaking breath “I’m hangin by a thread. I already texted Jazz” he whispered, rubbing his face over to rid any building tears.

I swallowed thickly “I love you, Ok. Ok I’m done, I just had to tell you how sorry I am…” I said, quickly shoving all my emotions into a too small box and locking the bulging lid. He needs me right now.

“Here, you’ll be little tonight. Turn off the light” I said, laying flat and opening my arms for him.

He shut off the light, nuzzling his face into my neck, pulling me close as he possibly could. With a featherlight touch, I brush his hair off his forehead so it doesn’t tickle my mouth, gently dragging my nails across his scalp. “Thank you” he muttered.

He shivered a bit, his breath hitching slightly before he melted into me, sighing deeply. “I love you, so much, Carmen. Wholeheartedly. As sure as I am the sun will come up tomorrow, that’s how sure I am I love you. With every cell of my being. And I want you to know that it’s okay to be hurting. It’s okay to show you’re hurting, bear. You’re safe” I said quietly, before kissing his forehead tenderly.

He remained silent, fingers gently moving along the skin of my back. I continued gently scratching his scalp, rubbing his back in long soothing strokes, the only sound in the room being our breathing and my noise machine. It remained that way for about 20 minutes, before he started softly shaking with silent sobs, holding me tighter and sniffling every so often.

It went on like this for quite a while. My neck was soaking wet, so was my pillow he was nuzzled on- I didn’t care. I could flip it over. The itch of tear droplets gliding down my skin was only temporary. What he needed right now, was to be held. And to be loved. So that is what I’d give him, without any stipulation, or question, or expecting him to offer any answers.

“You didn’t deserve it. Any of it. Remember that, ok? I know it hurts. You deserved a good mother, Carm. We both did.” I said softly, kissing the side of his head.

He nodded gently, tightening his grip on me. “My fucking face hurts again. Like a bitch” he whimpered sadly.

I swallowed the lump in my throat that formed at the sound of his wet tear filled voice “Give me a second Bear, I’ll be right back yeah? You’re getting too hot, It’s worse cause you're getting all warm and its makin’ the blood rush to your face and it’s throbbing. Cold will help it feel better, let me help you sweets” He wordlessly let me up and I quickly padded out to the freezer.

Persephone meows, twirling around my legs for attention. “Hey you” I sniffled, tears brimming my eyes without an ability to stop them. I crouched down to pet her and blinked the blurry haze away, the offending tears rolling down my cheeks and dripping in 2 thick droplets onto the floor.

“Carmy is sad right now, ok? Can you come give us your sweet Sephy snuggles and make him feel better? I know you can make him giggle silly girl” I wiped my face with his white shirt, shaking my head and trying to get ahold of myself.

“Mama can do this, kittens. I can do it” I told myself, standing up again and momentarily resting the ice pack on each of my puffy eyes before blowing my nose with a tissue and heading back.

“Hi sweet boy” I said softly, carefully getting back in bed and laying with him.

“Hey” he sniffled.

I opened my arm for him “Here, we can both be cold” I joked. Resting the ice pack where he usually laid on my chest and patting it. “This will make it feel so much better, Bear” I assured him.

“Thank you” he said, gently resting his cheek and closing his eyes. He was hiccuping and doing one of those post-sob sniffles every so often, as I resumed petting his hair.

“Everything happens for a reason, Bear. And I’m really grateful I’m able to tell you I love you, tonight. I love you, and I’m here- I’ll always be here” I said softly and kissed his forehead with a gentle peck. “You too…” He whispered, and that was the last thing either of us said that night.

The next morning naturally due to the stress I woke up extra early. Well- shamefully half because of the stress. Half because Sadie was coming over for coffee and we were gonna do our usual Taylor album release antics.

I grabbed my phone carefully, seeing that Sadie had sent me twenty seven texts since midnight. The last one being

THAT CRAZY BITCH!! SHES RELEASING A PT 2. 31 FUCKIN SONGS WIN!!

I gasp quietly, ever so gently untucking Carm’s arm around me and getting up carefully. I picked up Seph who was comfy laying on his hip, squeaking in protest.

I shush her, kissing her nose and carrying her to the kitchen. “Queen put a new album out fluffabutt!!” I whispered, taking out 2 coffee mugs.

I grabbed my phone, FaceTiming Sadie “oh! Perfect! I’m at Starbucks what are you feeling?” She asked and I opened the cabinet, putting away the 2 glass mugs.

“Can I have a large like- triple shot added americano? With extra oatmilk - vanilla and cold foam, iced?” I said and she laughed

“Jesus Christ ok I’ll be ready to do CPR I guess” she joked.

“Yup, Carm and I had a late night, shall I spare you the details?” I joked and she snorted, pulling up to the drive through.

“Please- I don’t have to hear it twice.” She paused to put in our order “what does he like?” She asked

“Oh- black with sugar. He’s a weirdo. Thank you- I’ll cashapp you” I told her and she relayed it to the person working the line

“Don’t worry about it- I’ll be there soon Kay?” She asked and I smiled a bit and nod

“Sounds good. Love ya drive safe!” I told her

“Love you!” She replied as I hung up.

I heard stirring in the bathroom and the toilet flushed, so I headed back over to the bedroom just as Carm lays back down on his side of the bed.

“G’morning lovey” I said softly

“Hey- whats’up why’ya outta bed?” He yawned. My heart ached slightly at the sight of his puffy eyes and red nose from crying so long last night, but mostly the reddening on his cheek.

“Uh- it’s Taylor day- Sadie was coming over but we’re gonna get outta here so you don’t have to listen to us, don’worry” I sit down on my side of the bed.

“Why?” He asked, wrapping his arms around my waist and tugging me to him.

“We don’t wanna bug you…” I shrugged a bit. My past boyfriends would sometimes get annoyed about my passion for music- especially Taylor, and Sadie was just as loud and enthusiastic as I was- and especially due to the previous nights events. It wouldn’t surprise me if he’d be feeling snappier then usua & didn’t want to deal with our squealing and excited antics.

“Why’d you bein’ happy bug me, honey?” He said softly, resting his head on my lap and looking up at me.

I shrugged, gently playing with his hair. “I dunno… I guess if it’s ok we’ll stay, we’ll make sure t’be quiet cause you need your sleep baby your eyes are exhausted” I said softly, gently running my thumb over the bags under his eyes with my other hand. He sighed contently nuzzling his face in my stomach.

“Sounds good t’me…Can I ask you somethin’ and you won’t laugh?” He asked, eyes still closed.

“I’d never laugh at you, baby. Well- except that one time you thought rupaul were 2 different people.” I teased with a giggle and he snorts a laugh

“Stop it I’m serious. Did that all….really happen? Last night?” He asked and I gently bit my lip.

“I love you, and your mom is getting help. If that’s what you mean” I said, trying to lead with the good and put the bad as gently as I possibly could.

He sighed softly “mmhmm.” he muttered, remaining quiet for a little bit. It wouldn’t surprise me at all if he didn’t want to speak any more about it. Considering last night was the first time i’d met his mother- he was likely feeling embarrassed knowing him (which he shouldn’t be) but nonetheless- nothing I could say would remove that shame from him. The shame of being the child of an unhealed alcoholic was a wound that no one or nothing could heal unless she got the help she needed.

“Wait don’t we gotta go get the album or whatever baby? From Target yea?” He peeked up at me. My heart swelled at the fact he remembered that I told him about the little process Sadie and I had when Taylor would release an album. We didn’t go as far as to having a huge party and staying up until midnight how we used to, but we’d both take the day off work & get starbucks before going to target and buying the Vinyl & CD & listening it in her car together while we do a mini road trip and get lunch.

When I’d told him about it- he said it was ‘really sweet’ and that it seemed like a great time, I told him it was and jokingly invited him expecting him to pass- but surprisingly he agreed, & told me he likes hanging out with Sadie and I because we were ‘funny’ which just made me fall in love with him all the more that he enjoys my best friends company how I do.

I shook my head a bit “No carmy. We can just relax- we had a hard night. It can just wait you’re more important” I said gently and he sat up a bit, furrowing his brows slightly.

“No- no, I have therapy at 2 we got time you’ve been wantin’ this baby. I wanna see too what it’s about. All the letters and stuff? Mm? It’ll be fun right?” He rubbed my arm gently. I had been telling him all about the letters Taylor had been posting on her social media in preparation for the album. I never expected him to be actually listening since I was just rambling on and I know he doesn’t listen to music so I thought he was just letting me go on because he cares about me.

“You really…you really care?” I asked, astonished he would even humor me by tolerating my interests- let alone actually asking questions about them and wanting to learn and participate in them the same way I’d ask him about cooking.

“What? Yes. Yes, honey, I love listenin’ t’you talk about this stuff. Y’fuckin light up when you do. How could I not like it if it makes you happy?” He asked and I felt tears welling up behind my eyes.

I hugged him tightly, nuzzling my face in his neck and he wrapped me in a bear hug, laying back on the mattress as I curl myself around him. “Y’think I don’t realize when y’tell me things you’re lookin’ forward to babe?” He asked gently and rubs my back soothingly.

“I love you. So much” I whispered, blinking away hot stinging tears. “Nd you give such good hugs” I giggled, smiling when I feel him chuckle against me.

“So you’ve told me” he kissed my temple “Now tell me princess, how do we do this? You said it’s a process hm?” He asked and I smiled big, sitting back and looking at him with my arms wrapped around his neck loosely.

I knew he wasn’t a particular fan of hers, Carmy wasn’t really a fan of anything. He barely listened to music on his own, but because I listened to music near constantly - he’d gotten well adjusted to something always playing, and it was usually her. He would make it a point to say “ I do really like this one honey what’s it about?” When he’d heard ones he liked while cooking dinner or breakfast for us and of course I’d happily oblige.

“Uh..” my cheeks heat as he kissed down my jaw and neck “so - we usually listen to the first single separately…” my breath hitches as he stops at my collarbones, tugging the collar of his shirt down over my shoulder easily and biting down gently on the fleshy part. He hummed as if to say ‘go on’

“That- would um..be the first track so. Yeah and then we listen to the rest together but like slow- we relisten to the songs over and over, it’s weird” I said, losing my train of thought as he kissed the top of my breast, sucking lightly before pulling away and looking up at me.

“Put it on then mm?” he rested his chin in the hill of my breasts looking up at me with those big blue puppy eyes of his.

“I’m gonna tell you a lot today but I love you and you’re the best” I kissed his forehead gently and grabbed my phone from the nightstand.

He smiled a bit, blush creeping across his cheeks. “So since im the best…does that mean we can fool around before Sadie gets here?” he sucked on my neck gently and I scratch his hair gently as I one handedly checked her location.

“She’s 7 minutes away don’t think so especially since she has a key” I connect my phone to my bluetooth speaker.

“Mmm” he huffs brattily, leaning into my touch and closing his eyes.

“Ok, it’s been less then 24 hours, you little pervert- this one’s called Fortnight, A Fortnight if you don’t know is a period of 2 weeks. If you can remember the name of one song from this album before we go to bed I’ll do whatever you want any position at all” I smirked and he looked up at me quickly, like a puppy being asked if they’d like to go on a walk.

“The mating press one?” he asked and I roll my eyes playfully with a smirk.

“Yes you horny fucker. Now shhh” I kissed his lips gently as I hit play on the song so he couldn’t ask any more questions.

He hummed happily and cupped my cheek with his calloused hand, rubbing his thumb over my cheek sweetly. When he pulled away he said, “The beat is cool” which made me smile big and pull him into another sweet kiss, gently rubbing over the back of his neck.

I gently rested my head on his shoulder as I listened and he snorted a laugh at the line ‘Your wife waters flowers, I want to kill her.’ “She’s so honest about her feelings, it’s refreshing” he mutters and I giggle a bit.

“Well yeah- if I lost you and then you went off and dated someone else and got married and we ended up being neighbors? If you didn’t move i’d fantasize about killing that bitch every day” I laced our fingers together.

He chuckled and shook his head. “Marriage would be completely off the table if you left me, so it’d never happen” He said and I blushed pink, squeezing his hand gently.

“I’d never leave you, Bear. Ever, you know that. Here let me see hows your cheek baby?” I gently turn his face and bit my lip at the fanned out pink and deep red marks as well as a blotch in the middle of his cheek.

“Yeah I look fuckin…horrible” he cleared his throat, looking away from my gaze. I shook my head quickly

“Baby-” I swallowed thickly, trying to hold back my tears and maintain an even normal voice. He hated when I cried, it always made him so upset, so the last thing I needed was to make him hurt more then he already was right now. “It looks fine.” I lied “I meant are you hurting? Can I get you some tylenol or something? Want me to ice it for you?” I asked and barely even brushed my finger over it and he winced.

“Ah- don’t” he hissed and I frowned.

“I’m gonna go get an ice pack love” I got up and went to the freezer. The way he wasn’t fighting on me, meant it really was hurting him- but Carmy is Carmy and wasn’t ever going to complain. But it still bothered me how he would just sit there in pain & not say anything about it so I could take care of him.

I came back to bed with the icepack and gently held it to his face and he sighed in relief. “Thank you angel” He said softly. I paused the song before it could start the next one without Sadie here and kissed his forehead.

“Of course sweets, I’m gonna get dressed mm?” I said and he hummed in agreement, taking the icepack and holding it to himself, laying back on the bed and sighing softly to himself.

“So do you have a special Taylor outfit too baby?” he asked as I opened my closet. I smiled a bit, looking through it.

“Kinda- I’m gonna wear my Folklore cardigan” I took it out and tossed it on the bed and he looks at it carefully, dragging his finger over the embroidered stars “Cause that’s what Sadie’s wearin’ so were gonna match” I said and speak of the devil, I heard the door open.

“In here! He’s already up, Oh my god!! ‘My husbands cheating I wanna kill him?!’ Bitch this albums gonna be insane” I called out to herand she came to the bedroom, baring a tray of coffees.

“Stop it’s been on repeat since last night for me, It’s so good!! Hey Carm” she greeted him and goes over, setting the tray on the nightstand and handing him the only hot coffee in the tray.

“Oh-Uh, thanks…” He said shyly. He still hadn’t been able to be out of his shell fully unless it was just us, but he was slowly getting there. His eyes slightly widen as I started stripping and putting on a fresh pair of panties and a bra while Sadie and I continued casually talking.

“Oh the first part about being sent away- literally us” I said causing us both to laugh as I hit play on the song again.

“First thing I thought when I heard it, oh are we twinning?! Cuutee!!” She said excitedly with a smile.

“So…you just look at eachothers tits?” Carm asked bluntly and Sadie and I both laugh.

“No- weirdo- shes just changing i’m not staring at her. You don’t change in front of your dude friends?” she asked and he shook his head.

“You’ve never changed in front of other dudes?” she asked to which he shook his head again lightly as he held the icepack to his cheek.

“He didn’t play any sports bug” I told her as I jumped and wiggled into my jeans before buttoning them.

“Ahhh- ok. That tracks, when did you graduate?” she asked him.

“High- High School? Er…” he asked, looking at me nervously before looking back at her. If she’d been a stranger I’d willingly save him from the discomfort of being asked about himself - but it’s healthy for him to branch out and talk to people since he refused to do it himself, and Sadie was more then safe for him to try that with.

“Yeah! I went to Gage Park and graduated in 2012 - same year as Win” she nodded

“Oh- uh..no I um… I went to Foreman and graduated in 2011” he replied and took a sip of his coffee. “How’d you know?” he motioned to the cup and she shrugged with a smile

“If I said i’m a coffee psychic i’m not sure you’d believe me, your lovely pooh bear has your order memorized,” she said and I rolled my eyes, putting on my deodorant with a small smile.

“It’d be more impressive if he remembered my order since his is literally just sugar” I said and Sadie grabbed my cup from the nightstand, covering the sticker.

“Boyfriend test! What’s her coffee order?” she teased him and I looked over at him raising my eyebrows playfully.

“Here’s your real test of love” I joked, slipping my cardigan on and grabbing my hairbrush, beginning to detangle my rats nest from not tying it up before I went to sleep.

He rolled his eyes playfully. “Iced americano, with shots in it depending on how tired she is- and then add vanilla, and extra light with the oatmilk shit, and extra of the cold foam stuff on the top - and cinnamon” he said and Sadie raised her eyebrows in surprise, looking over at me.

“Trained ‘em well” she said and I laughed, pausing my hairbrushing to come give him a well deserved kiss.

“Do I love you yet?” he joked and I giggle, pinching his bicep playfully.

“Remembered the cinnamon huh?” I kiss the tip of his nose and he pats my bum gently.

“Yes- can we please turn on the next song now? We’ve heard it 50 times now babe” He asked and I laugh a bit.

“More like less then 10, but ok lover because I don’t want you sick of us just yet” I hit skip to start playing the next song which was the title track as I sat at my vanity and finished brushing my hair. Sadie came up and put my coffee on the vanity for me, going over to my perfumes and smelling various ones as we listened.

Came the part of the song where the lyrics were ‘I scratch your head, you fall asleep - like a tattooed golden retriever’ and Sadie and I stared at eachother for a moment before looking at Carmen, then back to eachother and cracking up. She had witnessed many times now when we’d have little dinner party’s with he and Syd when they insisted on cooking for us and showing us a new recipe, he’d work himself so hard that sitting on the couch after everything had been cleaned up when I was gently playing with his hair he’d fall asleep in my lap and miss them leaving.

“Hey- What! What’s funny?” he asked, not even realizing the lyrics we were laughing at, not having been paying attention like we were and he puts his coffee down. “Tell me! Tell me what did I do?” He whined a bit with a slight pout, how he usually did when he realized he’d missed a joke and I laughed at his adorable childlike tiny tantrum.

“Nothin’ - Taylor had a little tattooed golden retriever too I guess” I shrugged and he put the icepack down, confused.

“Hell’s that mean?” he asked and came over to me, watching as I put on my eyeliner.

“It means you’re cute and have nice energy, baby” I said before resuming to carefully draw a sharp wing.

“Mm” he grumbled how he did when he didn’t understand me but was just deciding to let it go. “How long will this take? I wanted you t’try that sauce i’m makin’ when we get back” he kissed the top of my head lightly as I paused to shake the pen so more ink would go to the tip.

“Not long, Bear. We’ll be back with plenty of time to try your sauce, yeah? Go shower baby” I said, leaning into the mirror as I start my other eye.

“Kay…y’look pretty” he said softly and rested his hand on the desk, leaning. I smiled a bit

“Thank you, you’re hovering, lovey. Did you want a kiss?” I puckered my lips and his cheeks redden in response as he leans down and kisses my lips.

“Thank you” he muttered

“Baby you can ask me for loves when Sadies here, shes not gonna judge you” I assured him and she looks up from her phone.

“What?” she replied, clearly not having paid attention.

“See” I assure him and rub his chest just above his belly gently. “Make sure you dont let your face hit the hot water ok lovey?” I ask and he nodded a bit. It was more than clear that last nights events were causing him to be much clingier and wanting of physical touch which was more then normal after something like that, especially for him. The last time he’d had a big blowout fight with his mom, he’d not even wanted me to go to the bathroom alone - his mind was absolutely a prison in times like this, and me being near made it easier to manage.

“Mm i’ll be careful” he said and went to the bathroom, shutting the door since Sadie was here and preoccupying Sephy so she wouldn’t feel the need to go and scratch.

“So…How was like- after” Sadie asked when she heard the water start. I cleared my throat, nervously stretching my back and shaking my eyeliner pen some more.

“Not much. He’s not a talker, made sure he knew I was here. He cried a little, it’s better then nothing. He’s seeing his therapist.” I told her and she nods a bit, looking at me in the mirror.

“His sister was a mess too, like- her husband had to drop her kids off at his parents house so they wouldnt see the rest of it. She kinda bitched me out when I opened the laundry room by mistake, Syd said she didn’t mean it, though” she picked at her nails nervously.

“She didn’t, Sadie. Natalie really is one of the nicest people. His family is just…” I sighed. “She said it was like this before their brother, but- now its like…no love left. Like he was the main string that tied the family all together and now that he’s gone- it’s impossible to be together. My therapist says that a tragedy like that either breaks a family or brings them closer together- Chris broke mine too, so I don’t blame them. I wasn’t strong enough - er…my family wasn’t strong enough, either.” I explained and she shook her head.

“No way, Win. You’re so strong, and so, so smart. It wasn’t your job- it was your familys job.” She said and I sighed softly, finishing up my eyeliner. I wanted to believe her - but something in me couldn’t help but feel weak at the fact I had no family left that bothered to speak to me other then my Grandma, and I had Carmy and his family right in front of me in dire need of help and I’m not even the one hurting this time- and I still cant save him from them.

I’m pulled from my thoughts by Carm’s phone ringing - “Hand it please” I requested since Sadie was laying on my side of the bed, she leaned over and grabbed the phone before reaching out to me and handing it over.

Natalie's name flashed on the screen and I slid it, to answer putting the phone to my ear. “Carmy? Mom had a seizure last night apparently- uh…they’re saying she has some…some- disease from drinking? Please- how fast can you get here? I really don’t wanna do this by myself…”

➵ 𝐍𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫

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jasperhaleobsessed · 1 year ago

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Dancing with the Cowboy

Jasper Hale x GN reader (requested by anon)

Notes: Sorry this took me forever I've been preparing for the holidays and school's been a bit stressful the last week or two. Thank You so much for your patience! :) This is my first x reader fic so please be nice! Posted this by accident oops! But it's fine it was practically done anyways! Not heavily edit sorry in advanced! Hope you still like it! :)

Warnings: None, pure fluff

Word count: 853

Tagging some mutuals/friends cause I need some love since this is my first x reader fic! @steh-lar-uh-nuhs @twilightsaga123412 @nobody0805 @naolvshan

You smiled to yourself as you popped in your ear buds. It was finally your 'me' time in the day. And to say the least today was exhausting and you needed some music in your life. Excitement rushed through your veins, it was finally time to listen to your favorite album and your favorite artist. You were bubbling with excitement, you just couldn’t wait. You unlocked your phone and tapped on your music app. You scrolled until you found your favorite album. Reputation by Taylor Swift. Out of her discography rep was most definitely your favorite and the best out of her other albums in your honest opinion. It was different and unique from the rest of her work that’s what made it special. Of course the rest of her discography was amazing but this album held a special place in your heart.

This album always pumped you up. It always brought a smile to your face when you were down. When you were sad it made everything better. They say books can take you to magical places but in your case it wasn’t a book, It was Reputation and any of Taylor Swift’s music. Her music was magical in your eyes, her lyrics were like poetry, they’re beautiful. They’re amazing. It’s what got you through the good and bad. But it wasn’t just her music that helped a certain cowboy, helped as well. You blush at the thought of your boyfriend, he always had this effect on you. You tucked a piece of your hair behind your ear, smiling at the thought of your boyfriend. You also couldn’t help but feel excited to see him in the next 30 minutes. Currently it is 2:30 and he said he’d be at your place at 3:00. So you have about 30 minutes to listen to tswift and relax. This sounded perfect. You headed towards your room, you twisted the doorknob and flicked the lightswitch.

Once you stepped into your room you plopped onto your soft, comfy bed. You hit play on Reputation and the first track started to play …Ready for it? The song started to play and after a minute you couldn’t help but move from your bed. It was a difficult move since your covers and pillows were ever so soft and comforted you greatly. But suddenly you were in the mood for a little dance even if you weren’t the best, at the end of the day it was all about having fun. You started to shuffle your feet, a giggle escaped your lips as you continued to shake your hips trying to match the rhythm of the song. Dancing hasn’t always been your forte and you haven’t always enjoyed it but when you're alone and not judged by others it feels good. It also helped you were listening to rep. Suddenly you felt a strong arms wrap around your waist. You squealed in surprise. And you may or may not be very, very ticklish. You whipped your head around to meet a pair of golden eyes. You put a hand over your heart, it raced fast.

You swat his arm, “You scared the crap out of me Jazz.” He chuckled at your response. “Sorry Darlin’ didn’t mean to startle ya.” He smiled dazzlingly at you.

You pulled your earbuds out of your ears to hear him better. You quickly pause your music and toss your phone on your bed. You admired his smile, you could never stay mad at him long.

You shake your head and a small smile graces your face. “I thought you said you wouldn’t be here until 3:00?” You question, raising your eyebrow.

“Sorry darlin’ I missed you too much.”

“You just saw me like an hour ago, you know!”

“Well excuse me darlin’ but I missed you and I’ll take any chance to see you.” You smiled at him like a dork. You blushed and closed the gap between the two of you. You pressed your lips against his cold ones. It made you shiver and yet it was a wonderful feeling. A warm feeling blossomed in your chest as you kissed him. You pulled away and giggled, you looked up at him and you couldn't help but look deep into his honey eyes. He smiled warmly at you, and caressed your cheek. “I also may or may not have felt that you're a bit exhausted and I wanted to do anything to help ya.”

Your heart melts, it's official you have the sweetest boyfriend. “Aww thank you Jasper, that is so sweet and considerate of you. I love you.” He beams and you lean in and hug him tightly.

“May I have this dance?” You smiled at him and took his hand. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and pressed play. The beat of lover came on, it was one of your favorites.

He wrapped his arms around your waist and you rested your hand on his chest. You both swayed together and danced to the slow beat.

You felt glad he came over. He always came when you needed him. It really helped that he could feel what you felt, it may or may not have come in handy at times. He has this wonderful talent of taking away your worries and making everything better. He had the best hugs and always knew the right words to say He really was the perfect boyfriend.

The End.

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pineapplefulfillseveryneed · 2 months ago

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Annette (the original Sparks pre-movie 2013 version)

I've been waiting for this to be released since my early days as a fan! I've not seen enough hype about it out there and I think that is because there's not been a lot of info about this to put things into context for newer fans. So let me remedy this!! (I know they've added some more info in the newsletter but I don't know if everyone gets that.)

At the end of the THOM era Sparks started teasing us about "the new album", which would be in a similar format to Bergman as it was also a full story in audio format. They were fully intent on touring it as a 3-people live theatrical performance with them + Rebecca Sjöwall performing the roles. (They would've liked to tour Bergman as a live performance as well, but logistically that wouldn't work so they were excited about this.) … And then we stopped hearing about it. Until the first news about the film came out!

I've seen people refer to this as a demo or even a mockup album (?), but let me set the record straight: what we have here is the FINISHED Sparks album for Annette! This is what would have been the new album in 2013, the original story for Annette, exactly how Sparks themselves created it (before the film collaboration with Leos Carax). For the film some things were changed, for example I think Carax said that a lot of the irony and humour wouldn't work in a film so that aspect of it was mostly taken out. AND NOW WE GET THE VERSION WITH THAT IN IT! I kid you not I had to be one the phone with a friend to yell about it for 2 hours straight, this is one of the most exciting things to happen!!! (Also, Annette being a literal singing pram? R&R remain the funniest guys alive - this is SO GOOD! I'm so hyped about the beautiful art by Galen Johnson, too! (Who also did the art for the THOM era, and was one of the directors for some music videos over the last few years.))

What we get with this release is Russell as Henry McHenry (and believe me, YOU WANT TO HEAR RUSSELL PERFORM AS AN EVIL GUY), Ron as the conductor as well as some other voices (RON ON VOCALS, THIS IS NOT A DRILL!), and the wonderful vocal performances by Rebecca Sjöwall as Ann/Annette (she was the Hollywood starlet on Bergman and she also sang on Life With The Macbeths - a highly relevant song in reference to this release we're getting, I think, "each murder the ratings soar"). I am a huge fan of the Bergman album, but I'll be very honest and say that while I love their choice of accurate voices to tell the story - the most beautiful voices out there are Ron & Russell's and that's the only thing that might have made me love the sound of The Seduction Of Ingmar Bergman more. And now we're getting that! This is them taking on the roles of the characters they wrote! I love it when they're acting, because honestly they are really really great at it!

[SPOILERS IN THIS PARAGRAPH] Russell Mael - looks like a cinnamon, can actually kill you - will be committing murders, Ron - looks like he could kill you, actual cinnamon roll - will once again not get the girl as the guy portrayed by his brother takes her away from him in more ways than one. (Fuck I still so wish I could've seen this on a stage.)

Also there will be songs we've not heard at all, there will be songs that might sound very different than what we've heard in the film, the story ends differently (and I personally really like that). …I don't know what I'm most excited about, I JUST CAN NOT WAIT. While I'll forever be curious what their stage performances would have looked like, I'll not have to remain curious about what the album and their original version of Annette would have been like. Because here it is!!! :)

I say this without slandering the film, but this version of Annette is the one that's going to hit me hardest. (I am calling my 2013 self to tell them the good news, holy hell!)

As a final note, here's something they've shared in the newsletter:

"Writing in the sleevenotes of this boxset release Ron and Russell Mael have said "...we feel that this earlier version of Annette should be listened to not as the preparatory or demo step toward a filmed version, but rather as a complete and alternative version in itself. We are very proud of it.”

#i'll also upload the video from their instagram post in a second because I'll be so happy to always find that back with ease #(lmao the amount of typos in here that I only saw after posting - too hyped hahaha)#annette (2013)#annette #sparks #sparks (band)#ron mael #russell mael #NEWS #2024 #20's

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thesinglesjukebox · 1 month ago

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CHAPPELL ROAN - "HOT TO GO!"

youtube

2-4-6-8, who do we appreciate? You all! This wraps up this month's coverage -- see ya in November!

[7.00]

Alfred Soto: Chappell Roan's The Rise and Fall of a Midwest Princess is a sparkling collection of moods and passing desires, best when euphoric. The ballads might have been even stronger had she spelled out their choruses. [7]

Dave Moore: Spelling is fun! [3]

Grace Robins-Somerville: It's been too long since we've had a "spell the words out with your arms" song in the zeitgeist, and seeing people do the H-O-T-T-O-G-O dance at weddings has cemented its staying power. It's nice that lesbians have their "YMCA" now. [8]

Katherine St. Asaph: "Hot to Go!" is a crowd chant-along that shouldn't work at all as one. The template is "YMCA," but the difference and the problem is that "YMCA" is instantly parseable when spelled out, while "H-O-T-T / O-G-O" takes a moment's reassembly. The other highlight line in "baby, don't you like this beat? I made it so you'd sleep with me" is endearingly blunt -- more musicians should be that honest -- but nevertheless cannot honestly be chanted by anyone but Dan Nigro or Chappell Roan. Nevertheless, it cannot be denied that "Hot to Go!" is hugely effective at getting crowds to chant along. [7]

Aaron Bergstrom: Retroactively furious about the idea that one or more of the Village People potentially did or did not endorse Jimmy Carter in the 1980 Presidential election. [7]

Scott Mildenhall: Who or what is a hottogo? The chant falls short of total clarity by going two steps further than succinct, but therein lies the charm. Bursting at the seams of some slightly thin fabric, Chappell Roan carries this so far and fast that she might struggle to find her way back. [7]

Leah Isobel: There are about five perfect hooks on Chappell's debut album. "Baby don't you like this beat?/ I made it so you'd sleep with me" is one of them, precise and funny and melodically flawless. I think that was the moment that sold me on her whole project: the bluntness balanced by craft, the expertise made human by the raw and embarrassing vulnerability of wanting sex, wanting recognition, wanting anything at all. Also, have y'all heard the fanmade Rhythm Heaven edit for this? Banger! [8]

TA Inskeep: Every generation gets a new cheerleading-cheer anthem -- think Toni Basil's "Mickey" or Avril Lavigne's "Girlfriend" -- and here's the latest, with a bit of "Y.M.C.A." thrown in for good measure. It's hard to ignore Roan's joy on this chorus; this is also a rare pop single where its meme-ability actually draws me in (cf. "Call Me Maybe"). How can you not smile when you hear this? [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Of all the guises that Chappell Roan inhabited on her debut album, this always felt like the truest — she sounds like Devo if they slayed, still gawking and midwestern and not quite fitting a perfect archetype of pop stardom but still, nevertheless, a star. The weepy ballads (some of them great) fade away in the face of this, the goofy chant-a-longs and dance instructions wearing one's resistance down on the strength of pure charisma and craft. There are hooks upon hooks here — I think I've had just the synth chord on the prechorus stuck in my head before. [9]

Ian Mathers: I took the number of times I've caught myself humming this song since I first heard the record last year and divided it by a very large number and got this score. I am not currently interested in Discourse beyond that. [10]

Nortey Dowuona: You're trying to take out Chappell Roan the way you took out Amy Winehouse and I don't like it. Not one bit. Also, the '80s actually kinda sucked -- let's not go back. (This song is great btw.) [8]

Jel Bugle: I know everyone loves Chappell, and I’ve not really bothered to get too excited. I like the Casio keyboard sounds, and spelling out words in songs is always a good trick (see "D I S C O," and I’m sure Olivia has a spelling words out song?). I can see why Sabrina is winning the chart battle here in the UK. I just feel like this song is okay, warm rather than hot -- a sort of personality over the strength of the song. Plus, I’m getting tired of this song constantly being pushed to me by Spotify -- if it happens again the [6] becomes a [5]. [6]

Taylor Alatorre: For all the talk of Chappell Roan hailing the return of “recession pop,” this strikes my ears as more of a grasping imitation of the real than most of what PC Music was accused of putting out. Maybe that’s unavoidable given the generation gap, as well as the decline of the universal pop star – Chappell covers “Bad Romance” on tour, but she doesn’t exude the belief that she can be a legitimate successor to Lady Gaga. She’s ambivalent about the compromises required for mass appeal, even on songs like this one which are structured, at least internally, toward that end. It’s all the external festooning and DIY-style pageantry which redirect the song’s course toward a cozier ideal of attainable imperfection, a glitzy and glammy take on self-sabotage. Which, in the end, is its own kind of earnestness. “HOT TO GO!” is confident enough in its own gangliness to bill itself as a coming-out party where everyone, even the normies, is invited, despite the singer’s doubts about the long-term viability of this promise. [6]

Tim de Reuse: The appeal of "Pink Pony Club" was immediately evident to me on first listen. But this one's a silly Chappell Roan song: The narrative here is buried under catchy turns of phrase and the hokey pokey-ass pre-chorus, leaving us to wring pathos out of a few scant lines in the verses. So, what's the draw? The simple build-and-release drama of a I-IV-I progression? The energy of a jittery, unkempt synthesizer-driven beat? Is the chant of "H-O-T-T-O-G-O" sugary enough to overcome my pop-pessimist cynicism and light up my long-calcified dopamine receptors for once? Eh, kinda. It's well-constructed, but it just isn't aiming all that high. [6]

Will Adams: Silly fun pop that doesn't require much thought -- just do the little dance and enjoy yourself! [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#music #pop #pop music #chappell roan #music writing #music reviews #music criticism #the singles jukebox #hot to go #Youtube

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putschki1969 · 3 months ago

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YKL vol.#20～Japanese Seal 20th Special～ Kanagawa Performance Broadcast

2024.06.09 Kanagawa・Kenmin Hall The second concert of this year's Yuki Kajiura live tour was broadcast last night on TBS Channel 1. The tour is titled “Special Japanese Seal” referring to the fact that no Japanese songs are performed. This exclusion does not apply to the encore section. User 蓝原延珠_ on Bilibili kindly provided their recording of the broadcast, you can watch it HERE. I was only able to download a 720p version (~1GB) of it but for the time being, it will do. I am eager to watch it and write a little report. Hopefully an HQ version will pop up in a few days. Without further ado, let's get going〈(•ˇ‿ˇ•)-→

overture〜アンチヒーロー〜Main Theme〜: Right off the bat, I'm noticing that the audio is quite dull and maybe even slightly tinny? Might be the specific recording but it's probably more a matter of the TV broadcasts generally having bad audio. That was clearly noticeable when you compared the Kaji Fes TV broadcast to the BD release. Anyway, we are off to a great start. Glad to see rito and Lino on stage from the get-go and not just for a couple of songs here and there. It always feels a bit awkward for them to have the status of "regular" members but only appearing on stage sporadically. I haven't listened to any songs from the Antihero soundtrack so this is all new to me. Classic YK, the type of song I will always gravitate towards. Beautiful harmonies. Enjoying the slight whine in Eri's voice, so emotional. Love when the epic part starts and you can hear an entire chorus in the background (maybe a bit too much studio magic going on here but I don't mind for grand sections like that). Must have been a real goosebumps moment at the live.

the four rings: Wow, this one is so good. Don't think I've heard it before. Not too familiar with the Heaven’s Feel OST tbh. Really getting goosebumps now. Although I will say that here, the post-editing is a bit overbearing, it seems to almost drown out the vocals of our songstresses. Don't get me wrong, it still sounds amazing and I am enjoying the hell out of it but I wonder how it was like at the venue (with presumably less studio magic). With six singers on stage, they can certainly achieve some powerful choral work but of course it would still pale in comparison to a larger choir. Nonetheless, this is an instant favourite. Hope they will perform it during the Asia tour leg. Although I kinda doubt it since they said that the setlist would be very different. But who knows, it's Fate/stay night so it's probably among the more-likely pieces to be performed among Yuki's huge repertoire. My guess is that they will stick to the most popular anime stuff because they know that will get the audience excited.

absolute configuration: Perfect transition. Never getting tired of this song. And I'm glad we are back to a more natural sound with less studio magic. Solid performance as always.

E.G.O: Have they ever performed this live for a home video release? I don't think so. It was included in one of the live complication albums (Fictionjunction 2010-2013) but I don't recall ever watching a live performance. I have to admit that I haven't even listened to the live audio track, must have dismissed it when I first got the album. I can understand why because it's not really my type of song. It's not bad but not my favourite either. Very old-school YK so that's fun. And there are a couple of nice Keiko parts, that's always a treat.

キッチン革命〜Main Theme〜: A completely new track from one of Yuki's most recent works. Definitely a perfect fit for a show called "Kitchen Revolution" XD Especially the percussion at the beginning. The harmony between Yuriko, Lino and rito works really well, they sound good together. Other than that, it probably won't become one of my favourite songs. Generally not a huge fan of Yuriko as main vocalist. No one does those gorgeous operatic higher harmonies like her but when the spotlight is on her, it's typically not my cup of tea.

voyagers: As far as I know, we only have the studio version and live audio from the compilation album as reference. No official live footage. The song has never really stuck out to me, it is okay but it's a bit too derivative of much better tracks from Yuki. Will keep it short so I don't trigger anyone. But it's definitely one of those songs where I prefer the version with Wakana. Joelle's vocals don't do anything for me here. But since I am not super invested in the song anyway, I can't say I care much.

Historia: opening theme: Beautiful rendition. Love that they brought all six vocalists back on stage for this. Naturally, I'm quite fond of Wakana's version once again (not least of all because this song will always have a connection to Kalafina) but Yuriko does a fanstatic job of singing her parts, admittedly, she has much better control so her voice sounds very crisp and lovely. Joelle provides great support here and their voices blend well together.

forest: Never been a fan. I didn’t like it when Wakana sang it and I don’t like it now that Joelle sings it. It’s not a bad song at all and Joelle sounds fine to me but it’s just not my cup of tea. Next.

My long forgotten cloistered sleep: Now THIS on the other hand I have always loved. I still remember everyone hating Wakana's live version during YKL Vol.#9 but I enjoy it quite a lot. It's true that it's probably not the best she has ever sounded but her vocals here certainly don't warrant all the nasty comments she has received throughout the years for that performance. Of course, I am also obsessed with that WaKei combo!! And you know me, I have a weakness for "lalala"s so this has definitely always been among my favourite YKL songs. As for this performance, I think both Wakana and Joelle are trying are little too hard to emulate Emily Bindiger's timbre. I personally don't think Emily Bindiger has a particularly nice voice so if anyone tries to sound like her, it's always a slight downgrade in my opinion. I'll just say this, if you are one of the people who say that Wakana sounds like a chipmunk in her version, you'll have to say the same thing about Joelle(¬_¬) Long story short, I don't mind this version with Joelle and Keiko. Still very enjoyable. Will definitely be listening to it on repeat.

I swear: Probably one of my least favourite Keiko songs but this is a decent performance. I might even like this more than some of the previous live rendition since it's a bit more delicate(?) I think.

fiction: Another song I could live without…The chorus is solid but it's not one of those songs I'd ever actively listen to.

I reach for the sun: Forever sad that they made Joelle the lead of this song. Keiko does a better job in my opinion and I like the song quite a bit more than "I swear". Overall, the English section has probably been the weakest so far, at least for me. I actually ended up fast-forwarding through most of it.

MC: This MC is quite interesting since Yuki asks her singers to share a story of something they are taking a break from right now. To explain the background of this question, it's a reference to the title of this year's tour: Nihongo Fuin = Japanese Seal ("fuin" basically means to seal up something. You are excluding it/taking a break from it/quitting it/etc). Lino says that despite being a huge lover of the sea, she has been taking a break from going to the beach and swimming in the sea during this summer because it might affect her voice negatively. Yuki has a funny response to that because she says that most of her songs have never really had a summer vibe and actually don't work very well in a summer atmosphere but for some reason, they have ended up always holding their annual tour during the summer time. Keiko has stopped drinking her beloved lattes for the past three months to prioritise her water intake. Gladly, she has overcome the worst parts of quitting already and is getting used to water. Yuki admired her stoic nature. Yuriko would typically refrain from certain things in preparation for a live tour but this year she has completely forgotten about that. About two weeks ago, she decided to quit ice-cream but she only did it half-hardheartedly because it was so hot that she ended up eating it anyway. So yeah, this is a big fail and it's really a "story of NOT taking a break from something" XD Joelle has stopped waking up early. Usually, she is the type to rise together with the sun but in order to increase her sleeping hours, she will wake up later when she is on tour. A restful sleep will help her body heal up and improve her voice. rito has quit chewing gum (and stopped eating certain chewy foods such as squid) because it's bad for your jaw and facial muscles. Kaori has taken a break from watching the drama "Anithero" (for which YK is composing music, the main theme having been performed as the intro of this live). Seems like the song is haunting her a bit too much and the story is getting to her. So once the tour is over and she is no longer singing the song, she will have an easier time watching the episodes. Yuki agrees that the main theme is quite haunting. Especially when she hears one of the singers rehearsing in the dressing-room right before a performance. Eri doesn't really have anything to tell the audience but she and Yuki briefly talk about the difficulties of learning so many songs with coined words.

Gaia: Wow, what a lovely song. Instant like. Really adore Eri here!! Such gorgeous high notes.

Credens justitiam: What a great team-up with Keiko, Eri, Yuriko and Joelle. Eri sounds great together here with Keiko. Does Yuriko sound a bit off here? I don't know. Not 100% into some of her parts.

hepatica: First time actively listening to this song. Very beautiful and tender. I feel like some of Yuki's KnK work might have been inspired by this song. Some parts immediately made me think of "Seventh Heaven".

godsibb: Waaah! Yes!! Always a joy to listen to this song. Glad everyone is on stage for a powerful finale.

Alone: I knew I would love this Pandora Hearts medley. I always do and this one is no exception. Flawless start.

Bloody rabbit: Some squeaky parts at the beginning but overall, solid.

Contractor: OBSESSED. One word. Perfection. There's a reason this is the performance I'm using for this post. I'm forever a slave to Keiko's solo part XD. Also, Eri is such a queen here! So cool!

zodiacal sign: This is the song where you can really tell that they are taking great care of Kaori's condition. No strenuous movements at all. How funny is it to see Rie joining the girls in their little dance?! Cute!! Super fun performance as always.

open your heart: Ughh, I do not like this song at all. They did "Sweet Song"/"paradise regained" for most of the other performances. Would have killed to get either of those two instead of "open your heart". Obviously, "Sweet Song" would have been perfect. From what I heard, the final concert with Kaori in July had an amazing and heart-warming performance of "Sweet Song".

En.Prologue〜このとほかやわらかい: Wish I could grow to love this song. It deserves my love, I know it. But I just can't get into it. But hey, it's a cool performance, I can't deny that. During her solos, Kaori sounds a bit nasal in my opinion. Nothing that takes away from the performance but it's certainly noticeable (throughout the live to be honest - at least during the few songs where she has a substantial solo part. I think you can also hear it during the main MC. Either she had a minor cold that day or it's just a symptom of her pregnancy. Lowered nasal resonance is actually a very common thing for pregnant women.)

En.Parade: Beautiful. No notes.

En.蒼穹のファンファーレ: Solid. Not a huge fan of the song though.

#yuki kajiura #kajiura yuki #video #fictionjunction #fiction junction #keiko #ykl vol 20 #report #long text post

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gracies-baby · 8 months ago

Note

Hey!!! Can you write a Gracie Abrams x female reader. The reader is a couple of years younger than Gracie. She is 20, an actress and comes from a rich family in Italy. The reader is known to be a bad girl and a player. She changes girls like she changes he clothes basically but she is very kind and adorable deep down. and then when she meets Gracie, y/n falls in love with her actually and is not a player anymore but Gracie was only with her as a dare to break her heart as no one has before. Angst with a happy ending.

Begin Again

(Gracie Abrams x Reader)

———————————————————

Breaking! Italian actress Y/n L/n and American singer Sabrina Carpenter call it quits after 3 month relationship! Fans heartbroken after this news

Comments:

We all knew this was coming. Hardly news worthy.

I give her a week before she's got someone new.

She's literally only 20 and she's had like 20 different girlfriends 💀

"They all think I'm a slut" Y/n rants to her friend as she reads the comments on the article.

"Who cares what they think? Your fans love you. These people just need to hate on successful women to feel accomplished" her friend, Jenna replies.

"I dunno, what if they're right? I mean, I do date a lot more than any other 20 year old" Y/n continues, stopping when she gets a notification from instagram, seeing someone had messaged her.

Gracieabrams

Hey, I know you don't know me and we've never spoken at all but I just wanted to see if you were okay? I heard the news. Breakups are hard. I also wanted to see if you maybe wanted to have dinner with me sometime?

"Gracie Abrams just asked me out" Y/n says, showing her phone to Jenna.

"Seriously? Go! Say yes!"

"I just got out of a relationship though. What are people gonna say?" Y/n asks as she nervously stares at her phone.

"It doesn't matter. All that matters is your happiness. Gracie could make you happy. Just try one date"

"..fine. She is really cute" Y/n replies as she types on her phone.

Y/n-L/n

Hi! Thanks so much you're so sweet! I'm okay, thanks for asking. I would love to have dinner with you btw. Let me know when you're free!

"Great! My job here is done! I gotta go now though, I'll see you tomorrow" Jenna says as she walks out of her friend's apartment.

Gracieabrams

Does tomorrow work for you? If not I can clear my schedule

Y/n-L/n

Tomorrows great! Just tell me the time and place and I'll be there

The two girls stay up talking until going to sleep, waiting for the next day.

—

Y/n

She's not here. I think I got stood up

Jenna

You definitely did not get stood up. I'm sure she'll be there soon. Just wait a few more minutes

As soon as Y/n gets the text, she feels someone take the seat opposite her.

"Hey! Sorry I'm late, I slept through my alarm and I had to pick out an outfit and it was a huge thing. I hope you weren't waiting too long" the brunette says as she takes her jacket off and hangs it on the back of her chair.

"No, not long at all. How are you?" Y/n asks with a kind smile as the two order their coffees at the counter.

"I'm great! I'm releasing an album next week, that's going well. How are you?"

"I'm.. okay. You really lifted my spirits though" Y/n says, sipping her coffee.

"That's great to hear. I've seen what everyone's been saying about you. It's such bullshit. I mean, sometimes relationships don't work out, you know? It's not your fault. Well, I don't know what happened, but I can guess it's not your fault" Gracie speaks, smiling at Y/n gently as the two walk out of the coffee shop, spotting paparazzi a few metres away.

"Heads up" Gracie says, putting her head down as she takes Y/n's hand in hers.

"So, how's a second date sound?" Gracie asks nervously.

"A second date with you sounds amazing, Gracie" Y/n replies with a soft blush.

"Great! I'm busy tomorrow but how's Friday sound?" Gracie asks with an excited grin.

"Fridays perfect, I'll see you then" Y/n replies, leaning in to kiss her lips only to kiss her cheek at the last minute, leaving the brunette disappointed.

"Play your cards right and there's more where that came from" Y/n says before gently closing the door, leaving the taller girl on the other side of it.

Y/n turns on her phone when she begins getting slammed by notifications.

Y/n L/n seen with singer Gracie Abrams leaving popular coffee shop hand in hand. New romance brewing?

Comments:

Literally not even a week after Sabrina

Gracie girl get out while you can

She was probably cheating on Sabrina ngl

Y/n reads the comments as tears fill her eyes. She opens her contacts and calls the first person she thinks of.

"Gracie? Can you come back?" She pleads, voice breaking.

A few minutes later, there's a knock on the door. Y/n opens it only to fall into the brunettes arms, Gracie wrapping her arms around her and holding tight.

"I'm sorry, I know we just met but you're the first person I thought to call" Y/n rambles only for Gracie to stop her.

"It's okay. Don't apologise. You can call me whenever you want"

"Everything they're saying about me.. you don't think it's true, do you?"

"Of course I don't! I don't know you that well, but I do know you're not a slut" Gracie replies, guiding Y/n to the couch.

Gracie continues to calm her down, waiting until she falls asleep before leaving the apartment.

The two girls go on a couple more dates before making it official, Gracie asking the shorter girl to be her girlfriend on a late night picnic date.

—

"Gracie? Are you home?" Y/n asks, opening the door to her girlfriend's apartment when she received no answer. She goes to her girlfriend's room but stopes when she hears talking.

"Gracie, she deserves to know. You love her don't you? And she loves you, just tell her" a woman's voice says from inside.

"I can't do that. She would leave me if I did" Y/n opens the door to see her girlfriend standing with Olivia.

"What's going on?" Y/n asks nervously looking between the two.

"I'm gonna go. Gracie has something to tell you" Olivia says before leaving the apartment.

"What do you need to tell me?"

"Okay.. so, uh, just remember that I love you so much. I've never loved anyone the way I love you. And you love me, right?" Gracie asks, holding her girlfriend's hands.

"Of course, what's wrong?"

"Um, when I asked you out.. it was because Olivia dared me to okay? But that doesn't change the fact that I love you now!"

"What? So what was the plan, you were gonna break my heart after getting me to fall in love with you? How could you do this?! I trusted you! I confided in you!" Y/n exclaims, voice breaking.

"You can still trust me! I will still listen to everything you say! This doesn't change anything!" Gracie pleads, tears running down her face.

"No Gracie! It changes everything! You didn't actually want to be with me! You thought I was a slur just like everyone else!" Y/n runs out of the apartment in tears.

"Y/n wait!" Gracie yells but the girl is already gone.

Y/n L/n seen leaving girlfriend Gracie Abrams apartment in tears. Is this the end for the couple?

Comments:

Y/n hit the three month mark 💀

Who tf would break up with Gracie Abrams

If Y/n doesn't want Gracie I'll have her

After days of Y/n ignoring her calls, Gracie decides to go to her apartment. She knocks on the door, only for Jenna to open it.

"What do you want?" She asks coldly as she stares at the girl.

"Please. I just need to talk to her. 5 minutes" Gracie pleads before she hears Y/n's voice.

"Who is it?" She asks her friend, stopping when she sees the girl at the door.

"Y/n please. You're not answering my calls. I just need to talk to you"

"You need to leave"

"No. Let her come in" Y/n cuts her friend off, watching as she steps aside for the taller girl to walk in.

"You have five minutes" Jenna says before leaving the room, giving the girls privacy.

"Y/n. I know I hurt you but that doesn't change the fact that I love you now. I love you so much. Please believe me" Gracie says, taking the girls hands only for her to pull away.

"How can I believe you? Our relationship was built on a lie!"

"If I didn't love you, why wouldn't I have left you sooner? Why would I have stayed with you this long?" Gracie says, watching as the other girl steps away from her.

"I can't continue this relationship knowing what I know now, Gracie" Y/n mumbles in heartbreak.

"So what if we start a new one? You still love me, don't you? We'll have a new first date and I'll ask you to be my girlfriend again and we'll rebuild our relationship and this time, it's not going to be a lie. Please, just one more chance" Gracie says, stepping closer to the girl and hesitantly taking her hands again.

"Okay. One more chance. I still love you so much" Y/n says, wrapping her arms around the brunette.

"Thank you so much! I love you" Gracie says, pulling the girl in for a gentle kiss, Y/n pulling away after a second.

"You're not even gonna take me out first?" She says as the two girls begin to giggle.

#taylor swift x reader #gracie abrams #gracie abrams x reader #taylor swift #fluff

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drowninginredink · 8 months ago

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Favorite Albums: choose 9 and then tag 9 people!

For my own sanity, I didn't include musicals because I could fill up a whole other 3x3 grid with them, and comparing musicals to non-musical theater albums is weird.

Those last 4 that you definitely don't recognize are by Old Earth who you should definitely listen to if you want artsy ambient indie folk with really intricate guitar. My absolute favorite artist by far, and also the most obscure artist I listen to by far.

Electric by The Pet Shop Boys — I think this is my favorite album period. I am still pissed off that Tom Scott called it "not that great" in the old Technical Difficulties podcast. Maybe I'm biased because it was my favorite album when I was 14 and because it's where I really fell in love with the Pet Shop Boys. God I love them. So much. I'm way too excited for the new album and I worship geowayne's website where he analyzes all their songs. I probably should have put another PSB album on here, but there isn't another where I'm in love with every track. Plus honestly so many of my favorite tracks of theirs are B sides. They still release B sides with their singles, and this album cycle, the B sides are honestly better than the actual singles. Anyway electric is pure synthy electropop and I adore it in that way you can only love something you first heard at 14.

Pure Heroine by Lorde — I read a quote somewhere where Lorde said she tried to really put all of being a teenager into the album, so much so that once she became an adult, she probably wouldn't understand or like it anymore. I can definitely say that I'm not nearly as attached to it anymore now that I'm an adult, but God, it was my life when I was 13. She really did capture the unique ennui of being a teenager. I wrote a novel in eighth grade, and I wrote at least half of it to tracks from this album. Also, hot take: Royals is my least favorite track by a lot. Buzzcut Season is my favorite.

My Head is an Animal by Of Monsters and Men — God, this one was my life when I was like, 12. I fell in love with folk there, and I'm still in love nearly a decade later. Another album where I still love every track.

Strange Trails by Lord Huron — hey look, an album I actually discovered and came to love as an adult! The fact that I love Lord Huron's brand of folky horror/fantasy/western music that tell stories with characters should not surprise anyone. Also, if I had to describe my experience with schizophrenia in one song, I'd choose Meet Me in the Woods.

The Tragic Treasury by The Gothic Archies — Look. Hear me out. Is it a album based purely on A Series of Unfortunate Events? Yes. But. Is it also an album where I genuinely love every track and have genuinely been known to just throw it on shuffle? Yes. I mean I think of one lyric from this album, like, weekly. I swear it's not just ASOUE brainrot that makes me like it so much. If it'd ever gotten a vinyl release, I'd absolutely own it. I wish it had gotten one.

a low place at The Old Place by Old Earth — honestly this is probably only my favorite Old Earth album because it's the one that I was able to actually get on vinyl and being able to play that vinyl is so lovely. I mean, it's good, but so is everything by Old Earth. Then again, Less Words is my favorite single track by them and it is on this album. Look. All the Old Earth albums I've listed here are, at most, 20 minutes long. If you like ambient artsy indie folk with lyrics that are there more for the way they sound than their meaning, try one.

light shaped by Old Earth — god the lyrics to this one. Normally I don't like Old Earth for the lyrics but. "It gets old/then it's done" and "what if it's just some song that gets you home" and especially "I'm holding your arms/and you're holding my eyes/and I lie like the right thing to do" are all just so great. And so is the middle track with no lyrics.

... until they're called by Old Earth — have you ever heard an album so good that you a) just played the whole thing and danced to it in your basement nonstop for the full 12 minutes, and then b) wrote a poem about the experience? People talk about finding God, but dancing to that album was the moment I found athiesm. The beauty of us all being here for no reason, just feeling things and living and doing our best to make something beautiful out of it.

Two Torches, at a Place Where Three Roads Meet by Old Earth — I'll be honest, I don't have much to say about this one. They're just a really solid three tracks.

... Yeah okay I really like Old Earth. Don't judge me.

Thank you @cygninae and @thehistoryone for tagging me! I'll tag @ven10 (I'm surprised neither of the people who tagged me tagged you), @weirdthoughtsandideas (ditto), @70snasagay (hmmmm i wonder what you'll put), @cat-boy-tom, @thetreetzar, @buncoreclown, @notthatalex, @unfortunate-sapphic-disaster, and @roach-in-the-kitchen. No pressure, obviously!

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doveabovetheworld · 1 year ago

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“I’ve Never Done This Before.”

Luke Hemmings x GN!Reader

Summary; You and Luke have been together for almost a year now and decided to take the sexual part of your relationship to the next level by trying out something a bit new.

Warnings; Smut, NSFW, 18+ minors DNI, porn with plot, praise, a tiny bit of dacryphilia, oral (m receiving), unprotected sex, dom Luke, sub reader, degration, rough sex, cursing, dirty talk

A/N; Day 4’s fic is done! Yaaay! I’m glad I got this one done. I love it so much and It’s a whopping 3,242 words!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Luke have been with one another for almost a year now and you guys were pretty happy with your relationship. One night when he came home, from being at the studio, he saw you sitting on the couch in the living room while watching TV, he smiled at you.

“Hey, Sweetie! What’re you watching?” He asked with a smile.

You looked over to see the tall blonde walk over to you, leaning over the back of the sofa right next to you.

“Hey, lover boy! I’m just watching some documentaries on Netflix. Nothing too special. Wanna join?” You asked him as you looked up behind you. There was a cheeky smile on your face. The one he always loved to look at. Your smile was probably one of his favorite things about you.

Luke looks at you with a smile, and then he sits down next to you on the couch. He leans his head on your shoulder as he says in a soft voice, “Sure, what’s it about?”

“Honestly, I’m not too sure. I kinda put it on as background noise while I was reading but then I got distracted halfway from both of them.”

“Interesting,” Luke says in a relaxed tone. “I like these kinds of documentaries. They're so intriguing to watch,” he adds as he looks at you. Luke wraps an arm around your shoulder and pulls you closer.

“I've missed you,” he says with a smile.

“I missed you too, hun… So, what’d you do all day?” You asked him as you looked from the TV to him.

“I had to work on a new song. It’s been a lot of writing and recording over the past couple of days.” He pauses for a minute and then smiles at you again, “It was pretty tiring, but at least I can relax with you now,” he adds as he leans his face closer to yours. Luke gives you a gentle kiss on the cheek and then holds you a little tighter.

“I’m excited to hear the new song. It always pays off when you finish an album or whatnot but if it’s getting too much, Tell me, okay?” You asked him as you smiled and looked at him.

Luke smiles at you and then looks at the TV again. He puts his head back down on your shoulder as he says, “Okay. I just hope everyone likes it.”

As the two of you continue to watch the documentary, he squeezes your hand gently and then kisses it. After that, he puts his arm around you again and nuzzles his head against your neck. You let out a tiny laugh as you felt his blonde curls brush against your neck, tickling you a bit.

“Luke, hun, is there something on your mind?” You asked as you felt his fingers trace tiny shapes on your arm.

"I'm just thinking about how much I love you," Luke replies in a soft voice.

He then pulls you closer and gives you a light kiss on the cheek. "I'm also thinking about how much I want to spend time with you. You make me happy, Y/N," he adds.

“That sounds good ‘cus I wanna spend time with you too.” You responded with a smirk growing on your face.

"That's good to hear, baby," Luke says. He looks into your eyes and smiles nervously.

After a few seconds, he then leans in closer to you and gives you a gentle kiss on the lips. His expression is soft, and he seems to be very genuine and loving at this moment.

"I love you," he whispers to you.

“I love you too,” You said back to him as you leaned in for another kiss.

Luke held you tightly in his arms. As the two of you remain on the couch together, the documentary continues to play in the background. He kissed you again and pulled you a bit closer to him, making the kiss deepen. Luke pulls away but holds you close. He looks into your eyes and smiles.

"You're amazing," he whispers to you, his expression soft.

“I know,” You whispered back before adding on, “Bedroom?”

"Bedroom," Luke repeated in agreement and got up from the couch. He reaches down and takes your hand, then he leads you to the bedroom, “Come on, Sweetie."

He gently pulled you along into your bedroom and shut the door as you two walked in. You looked over at him and laid down on the bed, pulling him on top of you, and kissed him.

Luke kissed you back and then started to move his body against yours as you lay on the bed. He runs his fingers through your hair and kisses your neck and your lips. As the two of you continue to kiss passionately, Luke moves his hands down to your waist and starts to caress your hips. He pulls you even closer, his body firmly against yours.

You let out a hum into the kiss and opened your eyes as you pulled away from the kiss.

“Wait… Luke, baby, wait.” You mumbled as he stopped moving and looked at you.

“What’s wrong, sweetie?” He asked in a soft and concerned voice. He wanted to know if he did anything wrong.

“I wanna try something new tonight. I wanna experiment, spice things up a bit.”

Luke looks at you with his eyebrows raised, his expression curious and a little bit surprised. After a few seconds, he replies, "Well, I'm open to anything. What did you have in mind? I'm sure we can try it."

Luke smiles at you again, and he seems to be more than excited about experimenting with something new.

“Well… you know I love how sweet and loving you can be but this time can we try to be more… rough? Like you get more dominant and rough and shit?” You asked, feeling a bit embarrassed as your cheeks got red.

"I think I know what you mean," Luke says as he strokes your hair. "Are you sure you want that?”

You nodded and gave him a soft smile.

“Okay… well we can use our usual safeword if things get too much for either one of us.” He said with a soft and comforting voice. He wanted to make sure you were 100% comfortable and okay.

“That’s perfect.” You agreed, leaning in for another kiss.

The kiss was soft and tender but after a few seconds, he started to get more passionate with it. He nipped at the bottom of your lip, making you gasp at the sudden feeling, and took it as an invite for him to kiss you deeper.

You felt his hands start to wander from your waist to the bottom of your shirt pulling it up. He pulled away from the kiss and took a few breaths, trying to get his breath back to a normal place, as you did the same.

“Take off your clothes and get on your knees in front of the bed.” He said in a quiet but ordering tone. It sent chills down your spine. The way he spoke was different than he usually did during sex. He was always sweet and loving, but this? This was just as good.

As you started to take off your clothes, he looked at you with a hint of lust and need in his eyes. You got off the bed, bare and vulnerable to him, with your clothes thrown to the side, and got to your knees in front of the edge of the bed, where Luke was sitting in front of you, with just his boxers on.

He looked at you with his light blue eyes and a smile on his face. He curled his finger, motioning you to come forward and get closer to him, and you did as he said. You looked up at him with doe eyes, like a lost puppy, just wanting him and only him. Nothing else could distract you.

“You’re so beautiful…” he said in a soft voice as he looked down at you, “Take it out, love.”

You got even more of a bright red, a bit embarrassed at how much of a submissive state he’s got you in and at how wet you were getting just from the way he looked and talked to you, and nodded. You did exactly as he asked and brought your hands up to the waistband of his shorts and boxers, pulling them down to the ground. You took them off for him, throwing them into the pile of clothes that were already discarded.

You could see him swallow thickly when you take out his cock and let out a breathy moan, feeling your hand cover him completely. You knew what his dick looked like, this wasn’t your first time with him, but every single time you longed for it as if you’d never seen him or his cock before. You looked at the leaking tip and the few veins along the shaft, making you more aroused. Your breath was warm and fast, you needed to have him in your mouth. You needed to have him in you.

You leaned forward and stopped to look at Luke in the eyes before giving the tip of his dick a small kiss. A groan escaped from Luke’s lips as he looked down at you.

“Fuck… Go on, baby. You know what to do.” Luke said in a low voice.

You looked at him before looking down at his dick again and licking the tip. You heard another small groan, almost like a whimper, from Luke, again. You looked up at him and smiled.

“D’you like it when I do that?” You asked in an innocent tone, making you sound slightly mischievous as well. You knew what you were doing. You wanted to tease him.

“Do it, Y/N,” Luke ordered, looking down at you, “Let me fuck that pretty mouth of yours.”

That was new.

You let out a tiny whimper at his words. You never heard him say that before but you loved it. You love this side of him and you guys just started.

“Okay…” You mumbled with that same lost puppy look.

“Okay, what?” He asked, with a proud smirk on his face.

“O-Okay… sir.” You said in a shy voice, getting more red in the cheeks, and much more wet than before.

“Good job, baby.”

He reached his hand out to your hair and tilted your head up slightly so you were looking at him. The view you were getting was perfect.

You looked at him and licked his cock from the base up, closing your lips around him at the tip. A couple more moans came from Luke’s mouth as his flushed face and slightly parted lips grabbed the attention of your eyes. A hum came from your mouth, your lips still on his tip, sending vibrations through his whole body. You started to take more of him in your mouth and another groan came from him.

“Oh my god…” He whined out as his hands gripped at your hair tighter, making you moan around him, causing another groan to escape from him.

You took him in your mouth until he hit the back of your throat. You placed your hands on his thighs and closed your eyes tightly, your nails digging into his skin, sending a wave of pain through his body and making him let out a hiss. He gripped tighter at your scalp and pulled you down more before letting go and letting you move your head up and down.

He closed his eyes and threw his head back, letting out a string of moans. His eyebrows furrowed and had one hand on the bed while the other was still holding his hair.

You could tell he was close.

“B-Baby… ‘M about to cum.” He whined, holding your hair a bit tighter as his breathing got more and more rapid.

You only hummed on his cock and moved one hand from his thighs to the bottom of his dick, holding it as you gave kitten licks to the tip of his cock. He let out a shuddered moan as you flattened your tongue against his slit.

You moved your hand up and down on his length and looked at him as he let out one more quiet moan and came.

You could feel his cum go down your throat. It was warm and a bit salty as well. You had a few tears in your eyes and looked at him.

“Shit… that was good…” He said, out of breath, and looked back at you with a smile, “You did so good… C’mere, baby. You did so well for me, now it’s my turn to please you.

You almost let out a moan right then and there as you felt your thighs getting covered because of how wet you were. You were so desperate for him, that you immediately stood up and laid on the bed. He smirked at you. He had your right where he wanted you.

He went right in front of you and parted your legs to see how wet you were.

“Wow… Sweetie, you’re so wet…” He said in a sultry voice, that made you more aroused. You were wanting him. You needed him.

“Please, sir… Please.” You whined out and looked at him in between your legs.

“What do you want, baby? You need to tell me what you want.”

“I want you to fuck me. Please.”

“Oh… You want my cock to fill up your cunt, huh? You want that?”

“Yes.” You practically moaned out, in a needy voice.

“Beg.” He ordered, moving his hands to your inner thighs. His hands were big and soft but his movements were the complete opposite. They were slow and hard and driving you insane.”

“H-Huh?”

“Beg. Don’t make me say it again.”

“P-Please… Please fuck me, sir. Please. I need you so bad.” You begged in a whiny voice.

He gave you a smirk and kissed your inner thigh, close to your cunt. He gave you a knowing look and said, “Good job, baby.”

He then moved his face away lined himself up with your entrance and looked at you.

“Remember: we use our safe word if it gets too much.” He reminded you in a much more caring tone than before.

You nodded and placed your hands on his shoulders before he finally entered you. You let out a breathy moan as he put his head on your shoulder, pulling you close to him. You held onto his shoulders but moved one hand into the curls on the back of his head to hold him in place.

“You okay?” He whispered into your ear.

You nodded and he took that as a sign for him to start to move. He went slow at first, letting a few whines break from the two of you, before starting to pick up the pace. He was holding onto your hips, keeping you in place as he kept going in and out of you, filling you up perfectly.

“F-Fuck…” You breathed out as you let out a whine. You gripped at his hair a bit tighter and closed your eyes.

“That feel good, baby?” He asked with a groan as he thrust into you.

“M-Mhm.” You hummed as you dug your nails into his shoulder, making him let out a loud groan into your ear.

“You take me so good, hun. You love being my slut, huh, beautiful?” He asked with a moan.

You nodded, not able to come up with words. You felt him fucking you with each sharp thrust in you. You started to let a string of loud moans part from your lips, letting him know that you were in pure bliss.

“C’mon, baby, I need words,” He let out a low moan before continuing, “Tell me how much you love my cock.”

“I-I love it… I love your cock inside of me, sir.” You said with a moan to follow.

He let out a small whine and continued with his pace. You felt one of his hands move up from the side of your hips to your hair, holding you close to him. You could feel the hand that was on your hip starting to form a bruise at how tight he held you and the noises that your bodies made as they touched…

Suddenly a wave of pleasure came to you as you felt his hand on your clit, making small circles at the same pace as he thrust into you. He wanted you to feel just as good as him, if not, more.

“I-I’m so close, sir.” You moaned into his ear.

He knew you were. He knew that you were going to cum because of how tight you were squeezing him. Because of how much you shuddered just from his touch.

“Y-You know what to do.” He groaned again.

“Please, sir. Please let me cum… I wanna cum so bad.” You begged as you let another loud moan out.

He pressed down a bit harder on your clit, continuing his movements. He was going deeper and deeper inside of you, making you closer to your orgasm.

You needed to come.

“P-Please, sir.” You cried out, feeling a few years from.

“N-No.”

You let out a cry of pleasure as you held onto him as tight as you could. You wanted to do as he said. You wanted to wait and come with him but it was all too much.

“Now.” He whispered in your ear, permitting you to come, just for him.

And that’s when you came. You let out loud and breathy moans as a few tears fell down your cheeks. You were shaking and tensing up all over as you rode through your orgasm with him. He continued to do the same movements of thrusting in and out of you as he helped you finish out your high.

“‘M gonna come, baby. Where’d you want it?” He whined in your ear.

“Inside.” You moaned out and just like that, you could feel him come inside of you. He stopped his movements but you could still feel his cock pulsing inside of you. He moved his head from your shoulder and looked at you with soft eyes. He gave you a tiny kiss on your cheek and moved himself from you, moving down in between your legs. He gave a tiny lick, tasting yours and his come. You let out a soft moan and looked down at him.

“You did so, so good, baby. I’ve never done anything like that before. It felt amazing.” He mumbled through a few soft licks of your full cunt.

He moved his mouth away from your cunt and moved back up, on top of you. His chin and lips are just gleaming in the light with your come. He gives you a long kiss, pushing his tongue into your mouth, to have you taste yours and his come. He gave a few more moments into the kiss before breaking it and smiling proudly.

“See how well you taste with me?” He asked in a quiet and kind voice, “I love you.”

“I love you too, Luke.” You said back, a sweet smile forming on your face.

#5sos #5 seconds of summer #ashton irwin #luke hemmings #calum hood #micheal clifford #luke hemmings x reader #luke hemmings smut #smutember #smutember2023

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