#evil rebirth mao

[maoberyl]

I think I have a problem.

[viadescioism]

Dictionary of the Ravens of antimony as of 7/5/2019

Ravens:

LUST (E) | [eh] /ɛ/ as the “e” in “met.”

PASSION (U) | [oo] as the “oo” in “boot.”

DEVOTION (Æ)(A') | [Ay] as the "ay" in "May"

PREJUDICE (TA) | [Tah] as the "tɑ" in "taco"

ANGER (HA) | [Hah] as the "ho" in "holiday"

MISUNDERSTANDING (RA) | [Rah] as the "ro" in "roger"

SKILL (A) | [Ah] /ɑ/ as the “a” in “father.” as the “a” in “father.”

MIGHT (I) | [Ee] as the “ee” in “meet.”

ASCENDANCY (O) | [Oh] as the “o” in “boat.”

CHAOS (KA) | [Kah] as the “ca” in “cake.”

PANIC (ȜA) (Gha)| [Ghah] as the “ga” in "saga"

HORROR (þA) (Tha) | [Thah] as the “tha” in "thalamus"

DARK (SA) | [Sah] as the “so” in "soccer"

CONNECTION (LA) | [Lah] as the “la” in “lava”

LIGHT (MA) | [Mah] as the "mo" in "mother"

WISDOM (AR) | [Ar] as the “ar” in “car.”

KNOWLEDGE (JA) | [Jah] as the “jo” in “jogger"

LOGIC (NA) | [Nah] as the “no” in “not”

BINDING (BA) | [Bah] as the “bo” in “bottle”

WARDING (GA) | [Gah] as the “go” in “goggles”

PROTECTION (CA) | [Cah] as the “co” in “combat"

INSANITY (ZA) | [Zah] as the “zo” in “zombie"

ILLUSION (QA) | [Qah]

FANTASY (FA) | [Fah] as the “fa” in “father.”

ENERGY (KNA) | [Knah]

LIFE (SKA) | [Skah]

HEALTH (SHA) | [Shah]

CORRUPTION (ACK) | [Ack] as the “ɑck” in “blɑck”

DEATH (ABT) | [Abt]

BANISHMENT (ARD) | [Ard] as the “ard” in “card”

PAIN (PA) | [Pah] as the “po” in “potter”

EXPERIENCE (DA) | [Dah] as the “do” in “dodge”

ENLIGHTENMENT (XA) | [Ksah]

UNKNOWN (YA) | [Yah] as the “ya” in “Yarn'

RELEASE (VA) |  [Vah] as the “vo” in “vowel'

REBIRTH (WA) | [Wah] as the “wa” in “water”

Syntax:

Subject then Verb then Object (SVO)

Head then Initial

Noun then Adjective

Preposition then Noun

Possessee then Possessor

Noun then Honorific

Auxiliary then Verb

Configurations then State

The two configurations:

Projective, yang, masculine, Damakna = Dama

Receptive, yin, feminine, Dasakna = Dasa

The five states of the Ravens of antimony language:

Intention of hostility, aggression, and power = Uknaoxava

Intention of love, calm, and emotions = Shaknaoxava

Intention of logic, good communication, and inspiration = Naknaoxava

Intention of groundedness, sternness, and nurturing = Daknaoxava

Intention of great spiritual understanding, religious zeal, and divine unity = Skaknaoxava

Modifying words:

Plural  = "Ona" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

Used like the -ing  = "Vada" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

Possession ('s) =  "Iba" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

Past tense = "Jaskadala" add this word at the beginning of the statement in order to change its tense.

Present tense = "Daskadala" add this word at the beginning of the statement in order to change its tense.

Future tense = "Yaskadala" add this word at the beginning of the statement in order to change its tense.

Prefix of -er = "Owa" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

Prefix of -est = "Oxa" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

Prefix that increases the power and energy of the word it is connected to used like the word "very" = "Aiokna" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

Weakening of meaning, and sort of representing = "Oacki"

Indicates a question = "Oya"

Word that modifies the word before to make it a number = "Onakna"

Modifying word that changes nouns to the opposite = "Opawa"

Modifying word that changes nouns to the cute form ="Oshasha"

Modifying word that changes nouns to adjective or adverb form = "Oqaja"

Modifying word that changes adjectives to nouns form = "Oqata"

Word that releases energy at the end of a statements ‘so be it.’ = "Skaar"

Honorifics:

Lord, boss, Authority = Omabala

Worker, peasant, underling = Osabala

Master, teacher = Vaarla

Enlightened Being, ascended master = Yamasala

Student = Xajala

Non-binary sir = Dalala

Noun:

Genesis = Oxakna

Theós = Damakna

Theá = Dasakna

Ouranios Ethos = Madaqa

Agora Ethos = Ladaqa

Chthonic Ethos = Sadaqa

Andros = Uknayamasa

Sophizo = Shaknayamasa

Iaomai = Naknayamasa

Pharmakeia = Daknayamasa

Apotheosis = Xaoxa

Philosophia = Najaar

Eudaimonia = Umao

Philotimon = A'jau

Isoropia = Laarda

Sophrosyne = Tau

Eleutheria = Vadaska

Humility = Davaabt

Agapi = Xa'ua'

Stoicism = Abtgha

Physical plane = Dacada

Etheric plane = Shacada

Astral plane = Nacada

Mental plane = Ucada

Causal plane = Sacada

Akashic plane = Lacada

Buddhic plane = Macada

Atmic plane = Dasacada

monadic plane = Damacada

Adi Plane = Oxaknacada

"Name for the dot that makes space in between words." = Arlaar

"Name for colon that acts as a period at the end of a sentence." = Laabt

"Name for question mark." = Layaja

"Name for exclamation mark." = Laola

Force field, and protective energy = Cakna

Ravens of antimony aspects = Okna

Ravens of antimony  Sub aspects = Akna

Antimony = Xadakna

Sun = Ouknadakna

Moon = Oshaknadakna

Name = Skadaja

Help = Wadama

Abundance = Maoo

Alligator = Arskasasa

Ant = Arskakapa

Dear = Arskaiu

Badger = Arskaha

Bee = Arskaa

Camel = Arskahama

Cat = Arskaga

Cheetah = Arskahaa

Chicken = Arskabaskaka

Cow = Arskaba

Crocodile = Arskamama

Deer = Arskaa'

Dog = Arskau

Dolphin = Arskaosha

Duck = Arskavasha

Eagle = Arskavava

Elephant = Arskaua'

Fly = Arskaabt

Fox = Arskaaka

Frog = Arskaza

Giraffe = Arskao

Goat = Arskabada

Goldfish = Arskabasha

Hamster = Arska

Hippopotamus = Arskauu

Horse = Arskababaska

Human = Arskapadaxa

Kangaroo = Arskakaka

Lion = Arskauma

Lobster = Arskashaca

Monkey = Arskapadaxaqa

Octopus = Arskana

Owl = Arskaar

Panda = Arskara

Pig = Arskabaska

Rabbit = Arskae

Rat = Arskanana

Scorpion = Arskakapaha

Seal = Arskaskasha

Shark =  Arskashai

Sheep = Arskaska

Snail = Arskaca

Snake = Arskagha

Spider = Arskatha

Squirrel = Arska

Tiger =  Arskai

Turtle = Arskacaca

Wolf = Arskama

Zebra =  Arskasalama

Yes = Mava

No = Sava

Hello = Labadaska

Goodbye = Dava

Good morning = Tamama

Good afternoon = Tamala

Good evening = Tamasa

Welcome = Mabava

Good = Tama

Evil = Tasa

Time = Qadanakna

Magick = Knaxaja

Magic = Faknaxaja

Language = Laja

Person = Arskaxa

Animal = Arska

Raven = Arskasa

Sigil = Laqa

Text = Laqalaja

Book = Jalaqalaja

Box = Skaqaba

Lesson = Java

Element = Ushanadaskakna

Fire = Ukna

Water = Shakna

Air = Nakna

Earth = Dakna

Spirit = Skakna

Space = Skaknaya

Void =  Skaknayaack

Symbol = Daknalaqa

Mind = Skaskaarkna

Body = Skaskadakna

Soul =  Skaknao

Thought = Skaskaarknava

Individual = Skaska

Door = Daknaga

Doors = Daknagao

Build = Daknabagaca

Home = Daknabaskaca

Reincarnation = Abtwa

Action = Vadada

Terrestrial body = Odakna

Planet = Odakna

Number = Nakna

Library = Jalaqalajadaknabagaca

Sense = lada

Past = Jaskada

Present, Now, Here = Daskada

Future = Yaskada

Abomination = Sakaackyatha

Place = Daskada

Like = Mala

Secret = Naya

Next = Wava

Want = Baa'

Information = Naja

Release = Va

Focus = Taa'

God = Masa

Goddess = Sama

Deity = Yamasa

Northwest = Xaa'skaknaya

North = Xaskaknaya

Northeast  Xaoskaknaya

East = Oskaknaya

Southeast = Yaoskaknaya

South = Yaskaknaya

Southwest  = Yaa'skaknaya

West = A'skaknaya

Day = mama

Night = Sasa

Sunday =  Skamama

Monday = Knamama

Tuesday = Imama

Wednesday = Namama

Thursday = Omama

Friday = Umama

Saturday = Amama

Spring = Shaqadanakna

Summer = Skaqadanakna

Autumn = Ardqadanakna

Winter = Abtqadanakna

January, January moon = Wasaodakna

February, February moon = Usaodakna

March, March  moon = Knasaodakna

April, April moon = Shasaodakna

May, May moon = Skasaodakna

June, June moon = Dasaodakna

July, July moon = Vasaodakna

August, August moon = Isaodakna

September, September moon = Arsaodakna

October, October moon = Thasaodakna

November, November moon = Ardsaodakna

December, December moon = Abtsaodakna

Month = Saodakna

Lust = E

Passion = U

Devotion = A'

Prejudice =Ta

Anger = Ha

Skill = A

Might = I

Ascendancy = O

Chaos = Ka

Panic = Gha

Horror = Tha

Dark, Darkness = Sa

Connection = La

Light = Ma

Wisdom = Ar

Knowledge = Ja

Logic = Na

Binding = Ba

Protection = Ca

Insanity = Za

Illusion = Qa

Fantasy = Fa

Energy = Kna

Life = Ska

Spiritual life =  Padaxa

Health = Sha

Corruption = Ack

Death = Abt

Spiritual death = Yavawa

Banishment = Ard

Pain = Pa

Experience = Da

Enlightenment = Xa

Unknown = Ya

Rebirth = wa

Love = Eua'

Hate = Tahara

Power = Aio

Fear = Kaghatha

Spiritual = Salama

Reason = Arjana

Safety = Bagaca

Delusion = Zaqafa

Creation = Knaskasha

Destruction = Ackabtard

Magick = Knaxaja

Magic = Faknaxaja

Luck = Yama

Toilet = Ackshakna

Abyss = Saoo

Male = Damaska

Female = Dasaska

Nonbinary = Dalaska

Help = Wadama

Great spiritual awe, and a connection to all things past, present, and future = Dasalamaxa

Maybe = Mavalasava

Aman, showing of great honor, and reverence, at the end of communication, thanks, and respect for = skaar

You're welcome = Vawadama

Good morning = Malabadaska

Good afternoon = Lalabadaska

Good evening = Salabadaska

Goodnight = Sasalabadaska

Excuse me = Vaskada

Viadescioism = Talabalabadaja

Path, flow ,Road = Talaba

Emotion = Shaknada

Fluid, fluidity = Shaknaqa

Types of tree, head = Nadakna

Body, trunk =Cadakna

Leg, root = Badakna

Guidance = Talabawadama

Free = Basa

Trap = Bama

Heart = Daknalao

Verb:

Bind = Ba

Ward = Ga

Hate = Tahara

Fear = Kaghatha

Love = Eua'

Experience = Da

Pain = Pa

Panic = gha

Anger = Ha

Misunderstand = Ra

Lust = E

Focus = Taa'

Come = Bavadaskada

Luck = Yama

Help = Wadama

Name = Skadaja

Thank, Thank you, You're welcome = Vawadama

Get = Baba

Give = Vaba

Go = Vadaskada

Understand = Mara

Keep = Labaca

Let, Allow = A'da

Make = Naknaskasha

Put = A'ba

Seem = Tana

Take = Bava

Speak = Vakna

Be, Is, Are, Am, Are = Dada

Do, Does = Tada

Have, Has = Laba

Say = Naqada

See = Qada

Send = Lavava

May = A'ii

Will = Ida

Experience = Da

Time = Qadanakna

Welcome = Mabava

Power = Aio

Sense = Lada

Number = Nakna

Can = Mava

Listen = Arknalada

Open = Vaca

share = Vadalada

Learn, train = Xaja

Mean = Knaja

Like = Mala

Want = Bae

Release = Va

Hold = Bada

Teach, train = Vaar

Shine, shines, emanate, emit, summon, illuminate = Mavava

Activate, start = Navama

Deactivate, stop = Navasa

Cleanse = Ardshakna

Heal = Sha

Lift, Raise = Ooma

Lower, Drop = Oosa

Serve = Bavada

Bless = A'bakna

Vast, large, big = Maskaknaya

Small, minut = Saskaknaya

Kill = Sasada

Adjective, and Adverb:

On = Xama

Off = Xasa

Under = Vasa

Up, Above, high = Mao

Center, Middle = Lao

Down, Below, low = Sao

Within = Maknaca

Without = Saknacava

Not = Sara

First = Tata

Afraid = ghada

Good = Tama

Evil, Bad = Tasa

Individual = Skaska

Sorry = Wama

Open = Vaca

Mean = Knaja

Safe = Bagaca

Past = Jaskada

Present = Daskada

Future = Yaskada

Secret = Naya

Next = Wava

Unknown = Ya

Old = Saqadanakna

New = Maqadanakna

Trick = Aqa

Over = Vama

Through = Vala

Not = Sara

Then = Dayao

Please = Mau

Next = Wava

Wild = Uknaza

fertile = Madakna

pure = Knakna

Conjunction:

And = Lala

Or = Fafa

nor = Thatha

For = Vava

But = Ghagha

Preposition:

About = Jaa'

Across = Dalada

After = Daa'

Against = Sahama

Among = Badaskada

At = Ladaskada

Before = A'da

Between = Saa'ma

By = Daba

Up = Mao

Down = Sao

From = Bada

In, inside = Knaca

Out, outside = Knacava

Off = Xasa

On = Xama

Over = Vama

Through = Vala

Under = Vasa

To = Lava

With = Bala

As = Lada

For = Vava

Of = Labada

Above = Dao

Like = Mala

Next = Wava

Towards = Taskada

Pronoun:

Subject Pronoun/ Object Pronoun:

I, Me = Skada

You = Daska

It, That, This = Daya

Nonbinary pronoun/ Object pronouns = Dala

We, Us = Skada Ona

They, Them = Daska Ona

These, Those = Daya Ona

Reflexive or Intensive Pronouns "repeating word":

Myself = Skadaskada

Yourself = Daskadaska

Itself = DayaDaya

Nonbinary pronoun reflexive pronouns = Daladala

Ourselves = Skadaskada Ona

Yourselves = Daskadaska Ona

Themselves = Dayadaya Ona

Possessive Pronouns = "iba":

My, Mine = Skada Iba

Your, yours = Daska Iba

Nonbinary pronoun Possessive pronouns = Dala Iba

Its = Daya Iba

Our, ours = Skada Ona Iba

Their, Theirs = Daska Ona Iba

Question Words:

Where = Yadaskada

When = Yadaskada

Why = Yaya

What = Yaja

Who = Yadaya

How =  Knacayaja

[goodvibesatpeace]

Death, Rebirth and Love: The Ayahuasca Experience

“Every man takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world.” – Schopenhauer

The Ayahuasca experience was the most intense, spiritual, emotional, mind-blowing, frightening and loving experience I have ever had. Nothing could have prepared me for the inner journey I am about to describe. Because I believe I died. It was if my awareness that seems normally tied to this body shot loose and entered a world before unknown.

Ayahuasca, the ‘spirit vine’ or the ‘vine of death’, is a brew containing the Banisteriopsis caapi vine and Psychotria viridis or Diplopterys cabrerana leaves. The vine contains harmine and harmaline which are MAO-A inhibitors, and tetrahydroharmine which is a weak serotonin uptake inhibitor.

The leaves contain dimethyltryptamine (DMT), the strongest hallucinogenic known to man. Ingested, the combination of these plants lead to the uptake of DMT by your brain where it will alter your perceptions of reality. Many claim these are visions where the Ayahuasca spirit will talk to you, giving you knowledge about the, normally, hidden (collective?) unconscious psyche. Or so I was told.

With drugs like these it’s hard to extrapolate the meaning of your experience and use it for the benefit of your daily life, and so I was skeptical about what the insights could bring to me. Taking drugs can be a fun thing in itself, but I believe there’s a strong possibility that such an approach will lead to the devaluation of that same experience and the essential meaning will be lost.

If drugs change the frequency by which we perceive reality, we still need to have the right radio to understand the broadcast, and in this way ‘set and setting’ is, as ever, extremely important. The taking of Ayahuasca will inevitably lead, for most people, to vomiting and diarrhea, which is called ‘la purga’, meaning the cleansing of one’s body and mind. This is why the shamans don’t use the label of drugs.

For them, it’s been a medicine for thousands of years. Despite the latter fact of ‘la purga,’ my curiosity was raised to a point where I would say yes to undergo the journey if it ever crossed my path. Who would say no to some ancient, magic, spiritual, drug induced, puke and shit-fest that is also a medicine?

It all started with my interest in the link between psychedelics and spirituality, partly fueled by the book ‘DMT: The Spirit Molecule’ by Rick Strassman. For me, spirituality  is the experiencing of the spirit, the essence of which I call ‘I’. Different experiments in physics lead to a broader understanding of the objective outer world we inhabit and in exactly the same way different experiments in our own psyche lead to a broader understanding of the subjective world we also inhabit.

This has been my main drive to experiment with consciousness on a very personal level. It has led me to meditation, yoga, qi gong, floating, fasting, drugs, polyphasic sleep, lucid dreaming, astral projection and the most important of all, my daily live. Because in the end this is the reality you have to face, and finding your life in alternative states of consciousness can be just another easy escape to keep you from facing your true self.

I found out that two Peruvian shamans were visiting my country to give workshops on Ayahuasca healing. I asked two of my best friends to join me on this journey because I thought they would find it interesting and inspiring… and I was perhaps a bit afraid to go on my own.The workshop was a three-day gathering where we had an Ayahuasca session on Friday and Saturday. Sunday would be a day of reflection and relaxing.

When we arrived we met the shamans. Their faces, powerful, radiant, wise but most of all loving and kind. In our culture the role of the shaman has been long forgotten and it reminded me that we need them dearly. Elder shamans know the inner workings of the mind and the influence society has upon it. This knowledge of ‘what has been’ seems increasingly important in a world that is changing ever so rapidly. This is why I believe that it is important to reflect once  in a while on your role in the greater perspective of things.

Before we did the Ayahuasca we had to follow a strict diet and to avoid the following:

– sugar and sweeteners;

– chocolate;

– soft drinks and energy drinks;

– coffee;

– dairy products;

– salt, pepper, sharp spices and chilis;

– red meat (avoid pork 2 weeks before and after);

– fats;

– olive or coconut oil;

– alcohol and drugs (no alcohol-free beer either), 1 week before and after;

– ginger;

– ice cream, ice cubes or ice-cold drinks;

– bruised or overripe fruit, dried fruit and/or raisins;

– no sex, including masturbation;

– no perfumed or synthetic soap, body lotion or other toiletries, insect repellent lotions like DEET and others;

– preferably no medication, especially antibiotics and antidepressants, even St. John’s wort;

The intention of this diet was to make sure we got pleasure from within, not from without.

The Ceremony

Everybody in our group, eight total, except for the two shamans and the organizer, were Ayahuasca virgins. So on friday, the first ceremonial night, we all took a small dose of amazonian magic. It’s hard for me to remember much of the first night because the second one swept away most memories. But this is what I do remember. A little bit of nausea in the beginning followed by intense, bright visualizations.

Geometrical patterns that were swirling, changing, inter-twining and flowing. They were beautiful. After a while the philosophical/spiritual part started where it seems I got a hint of the essence of awareness.The best description would be that while I looked around everything looked back. I thought I understood it then but I quickly lost it, as it happens with most ‘insights’ on psychedelics. I had some personal ‘openings’. Situations where I agreed with myself to take more responsibility and stop being lazy.

Situations where I should show more empathy and less judgement. My sense of time was completely gone and it felt I just had a glimpse of a dream world that is inter-connected to our normal world. The biggest insight that night was at the end when several people were going for a second dose and a single brave hearted went for a third double dose. I immediately felt the urge to join them. To experience more and more.

There was some healthy fear and I took the time to think about what to do. I asked one of my friends of what he thought we should do and it seemed clear to me that what he thought wouldn’t matter and I would definitely do it anyway.

Why do I always need more?

Why is now not enough?

What is missing in this moment?

I couldn’t answer these deep personal questions and with the struggle for answers I felt the huge relief of ‘not-wanting’.

Death: Ayahuasca will turn every skeptic into a believer

The next day I was in a very good mood. I was really looking forward to what the plant spirit would reveal to me next. We started the second ceremony at nightfall. Just as the first night I went first. I stood up and walked to the shamans to get my, now double, dose of Ayahuasca.

It was thick green-black-ish and tasted a little sweet and sour. It reminded us most of the taste of liquorice, just not nearly as good. I went back to my mattress and tried to meditate and observe the other participants when they went to get their medicine.

Waiting, exciting, fearing, fantasizing…

After about 25 minutes it hit in. Much earlier than the day before or than any of the other participants. The visualizations were overwhelming. My stomach was screaming and my body erupted in cold sweat. I felt feverish and my thought was ‘oh what have I done now…’ Then the vomiting began. I was puking out my greasy, slimy ego. I was throwing up and screaming with such force that the best description would be a nuclear blast that ripped apart the fabric of everything that I ever thought was real.

Intense visualisation bombarding me from every direction with such speed; I couldn’t make sense of anything. Emotions erupting like a volcano. I could only grasp for air, thoughts were non-existent. My awareness wasn’t anymore connected to my body, the room nor to this dimension. Was it even mine to begin with? I was consumed by fear and loneliness. I can only describe this experience as pure hell, and even that seems a big understatement. My first thought after what seemed an eternity was how to get out of there.

Or to get there out of me. (Ayahuasca does that with you). Once I realized the complete horror I was in I couldn’t imagine an experience this cruel. I was telling myself I could handle it, which implies I wasn’t convinced. “I am strong enough to stay calm and to just observe without identifying with the pure evil I am experiencing”. Oh boy, what was I, the ego, wrong. It felt as if something was playing, no, toying with me. A puppet for their sick pleasure. It took me a while to find out I was not as strong as I believe myself to be. I was scared, lonely and lost.

Rebirth: It’s a shock

Slowly I started making sense of what I was experiencing. I took a drug, and as with any experience, this too shall pass. But I couldn’t shed the doubt: but what if it the experience didn’t pass? I still had no clue where my awareness was or how to get out but I was relieved by some moments of clarity where I had thoughts that contained some meaning. Total acceptance is to give up the infinite urge to control. So I did. And then, for the first time, I opened my eyes and saw the ceremony room, which gave me hope that I could fight my way out of it. I? No, we!

I desperately needed help to find my way back to common ground. The whole time I had my back turned from the whole group and was hanging over the puke bucket, which I immediately threw a couple of feet away from me when I realised that. I turned around only to find out the shaman had been singing a personal song for me since the purging started.

This little silent guy in daylight seemed so powerful and huge in the dark. I finally gave in and asked him for help. The biggest lesson I learned that night is that I can’t do everything by myself and one is only just as powerful as the support of the people behind him. I feel like I had to experience this to understand that it doesn’t matter how strong you believe yourself to be, opening your heart and asking for help is in many situations is the best thing you can do. The only thing that holds you back is your own ego, and fear and shame.

I once saw an interview with psychiatrist and psychonaut Stan Grof where he said he experienced being many animals and once even a plant! Utter bullcrap if you asked me pre-ayah. But when I let go of the me that was trying to control inner instincts took over. I felt like a hunted animal, a zebra if I must guess, that used all his energy to fight for his last breath. This feeling was very vivid and distinct and it was amazing. I’ve never felt anything like it.

Love: The greatest sin is not feeling love for your existence. To actually feel it and not to dabble in nonsense of what it means.

I stood up and walked, or more like crawled, to the organizer. She hugged me with a blanket and the warmth instantly made me relax and calm. I suddenly realised I was so cold. She said some soothing words and I felt a glimpse of love breaking through the madness. A small opening up, the relaxing of a grip. I was transported back to my youth and felt the love of my mother.

Then to the love of the organizer and the people around me. Then to just love, where human beings are an instrument to express it if they can open themselves up for it, trust it, have faith in it, love themselves for it. Love is the glue that makes us stick together.

There was a deep-rooted empathy for the natural world. I saw the interconnectedness of the world, I saw the air we breathe in and the food we eat becoming us. A child knows these facts, but when the magic is banned from our perception when we grow up and become ‘individual persons’, we tend to forget. We tend to forget that the trees are our extended lungs and the rivers our extended veins. This is not the right time to delve into the depths of consciousness, but as never before I felt connected to the earth that is our birthplace.

That there was something of me in all, and something of all in me. I felt the love for which nature sacrifices itself, offering their own lives for our benefit. And I felt the sadness and the disappointment by the ongoing abuse of natural resources. Where we don’t see the spirit in the forests and the mountains but see them as wood and ore, waiting to be mined and plundered for profit.

As of now, the earth is not yet swallowed up by hatred and greed. Humankind must transform to fit itself, once again, in the bed of Procrustes. I hope, this time, we have a generation that has no need for a war or a great depression to change. That this once, the force is not oppression from the outside but a liberation from the inside.

A generation that changes because we want to, because we finally listen to our own heart and the hearts of others. Where we finally understand it is our moral responsibility to care about our inner but also our outer environment. And I hope us HEthens will lead the way.

Since all this I’ve been living lighter and happier, the world has become dream-like with endless possibilities. The philosophical implications of experiencing an awareness not fixated on these forms are mind breaking and I am slowly opening up to what the sages, shamans and mystics of all ages have been saying since the dawn of language.

Will I do it again? I don’t know.

Much love to all... go in peace my friends

[isisprisoner-blog]

I GREW UP BELIEVING THAT REINCARNATION WAS AN ALTERNATIVE BELIEF, NOT A MAINSTREAM REALITY.  BUT, WHAT IF IT WERE TRUE?  COULD THAT BE WHERE THE PHRASE “HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF” COMES FROM?

Reincarnation is the philosophical or religious concept that an aspect of a living being starts a new life in a different physical body or form after each biological death. It is also called rebirth or transmigration, and is a part of the Saṃsāra doctrine of cyclic existence.[1][2] It is a central tenet of all major Indian religions, namely Buddhism, Hinduism, Jainism, and Sikhism.[2][3][4] The idea of reincarnation is found in many ancient cultures,[5] and a belief in rebirth was held by such historic figures as Pythagoras, Plato, and Socrates.[6]

Although the majority of denominations within the Abrahamic religions of Judaism, Christianity, and Islam do not believe that individuals reincarnate, particular groups within these religions do refer to reincarnation; these groups include the mainstream historical and contemporary followers of Kabbalah, the Cathars, Alawites, the Druze,[8]and the Rosicrucians.[9] The historical relations between these sects and the beliefs about reincarnation that were characteristic of Neoplatonism, Orphism, Hermeticism, Manicheanism, and Gnosticism of the Roman era as well as the Indian religions have been the subject of recent scholarly research.[10]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reincarnation

History Repeats Itself aka:  Historic recurrence is the repetition of similar events in history.[2] The concept of historic recurrence has variously been applied to the overall history of the world (e.g., to the rises and falls of empires), to repetitive patterns in the history of a given polity, and to any two specific events which bear a striking similarity.[3]

A polity is any kind of political entity. It is a group of people who are collectively united by a self-reflected cohesive force such as identity, who have a capacity to mobilise resources, and are organised by some form of institutionalised hierarchy.[1]

What if the CRUEL BEINGS OF HISTORY just kept coming back, finding each other, organizing and perfecting their plans throughout the centuries? Personalities like Hitler and his team of “SS” and Gestapo, Stalin, Henry VIII (Killer of Women) and Caesar.  Here is a list of the top 10 Dictators in history and the number of people they killed in their most famous incarnations:

#10    Yakubu Gowon (1.1 million deaths)

#9      Mengistu Haile Mariam (400,000 – 1.5 million deaths)

#8      Kim Il Sung (1.6 million deaths)

#7      Pol Pot (1.7 million deaths)

#6       Ismail Enver Pasha (2.5 million deaths)

#5       Hideki Tojo (5 million deaths)

#4       Leopold II of Belgium (2-15 million deaths)

#3       Adolf Hitler (17 million deaths)

#2       Jozef Stalin (23 million deaths)

#1       Mao Zedong (49-78 million deaths)

MAYBE THAT IS WHY THEY SAY “EVIL NEVER DIES, IT JUST REINCARNATES”

AND, WHAT ABOUT US, “THE NICE GUYS”?

They come back too, but sadly the very people they are risking their lives to protect allow them be brutally killed.  The “Good Guys” never seem to get much help “Saving” everyone.  People, the masses let them get nailed to crosses, expecting miracles. 

Question:  If a “Team of Evil” beings, with a reputation AND EXPERTISE for killing returned/incarnated together, would anyone recognize them? Answer:  Yes.

Better Question:  Would the “Masses of Nice Guys” do anything to stop them, which might include killing them?  Answer: It looks like the answer to that question is NO.  

THAT IS WHAT “BAD GUYS” COUNT ON.  “GOOD GUYS” BEING TOO GOOD TO ORGANIZE AND TAKE ACTION TO STOP THEM. THAT LOGIC HAS WORKED THROUGHOUT HISTORY AND IT LOOKS LIKE NO ONE IS READY TO STOP THEM, YET.

NOT EVEN JESUS CAN STOP AN ARMY OF KILLERS BY HIMSELF.  GOD HELPS THOSE WHO HELP THEMSELVES.  HUMANS HAVE TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR OWN LIVES AND FUTURE.  HUMANS HAVE TO TAKE ACTION, EVEN IF THAT MEANS KILLING, WHICH I LIKE TO THINK OF AS “FIGHTING BACK”.

HISTORICALLY WE HAVE NEVER FOUGHT BACK IN TIME TO SAVE MANY, MANY GOOD PEOPLE FROM DYING UNNECESSARILY.  THE WORLD IS RECEIVING A BIG RED FLAG THIS TIME, WARNING EVERYONE OF WHAT TO EXPECT IF THE “GOOD” LEADERS OF THE WORLD DO NOT TAKE DECISIVE ACTION.  IF A LOT OF PEOPLE END UP DEAD AGAIN, WHO’S FAULT IS IT?

ANOTHER HEAD’S UP.  THE “BAD” LEADERS OF THE WORLD ARE NOT DOING ANYTHING, BUT MAKING EXCUSES

[asia-correspondent]

excerpts ~

CHAPTER 1 ~ RITUALS

SKY FUNERAL VULTURES IN TIBET

On the rocky outskirts of Lhasa, Tibetan mourners whispered prayers while hungry, brooding vultures circled overhead. Cawing. "This is our sky funeral. We let the vultures eat the bodies of dead Tibetans," a mourner told me at the beginning of the somber rites. "I personally think it is too gruesome. But this is our Buddhist tradition." Cremations and burials are difficult to perform. Firewood is scarce throughout much of Tibet. The ground is often frozen or rocky. In 1984 a gray boulder looming 30 feet high, served as the cold altar for Lhasa's Tibetan corpses. The flat boulder's 20-foot by 20-foot surface could be used every day except Sundays. Sky funerals -- bya gtor or "alms for the birds" -- began at dawn with attendees moaning prayers. "Today, four bodies," the mourner quietly explained. "You can see, three of the dead are village women. Also a merchant. He is a murder victim. He was killed two nights ago in the Lhasa market at a card game. Stabbed. We are all friends of the dead. The brothers, sisters, parents and children don't come to these funerals." This morning was chilly and clear. The sun smoldered behind snow-covered mountain peaks while four Tibetan undertakers -- rogyapa or "body breakers" -- and two assistants laid the four corpses face down on the boulder. The undertakers pulled off the bodies' shoes. Mourners glanced at the slumped, immobile humans, then looked away. More friends arrived to honor the deceased. Visitors came in battered, dusty, green Chinese trucks. The vehicles veered off a dirt road, rattled across a small, flat garbage dump, and splashed through an icy, shallow brook. The trucks stopped near the blood-stained boulder. The all-male passengers climbed down and solemnly trudged towards the rock which rested amid treeless lunar foothills dotted with ragged Buddhist prayer flags on the northern outskirts of Lhasa below the stone wall of the 15th century Sera Monastery. Vultures swooped and spiraled, or simply loitered atop a nearby cliff. The birds of prey looked down upon the living and the dead, waiting for the ritual to begin. Six undertakers, reeking of cheap Tibetan chang beer, used thick ropes to noose the necks of the bodies. They attached the ropes to a very heavy stone. This prevented the bodies sliding off the boulder's slightly angled surface. The mourners were becoming increasingly miserable. They clustered around small campfires a few yards away, below the boulder. Some used dented aluminum tea pots to brew hot tea laced with yak butter and salt -- a popular nourishment. Overhead, more vultures circled and cawed. Some of the birds hopped unafraid onto the boulder and inspected the cadavers. A few of the two dozen mourners quietly joked and gossiped among themselves. The undertakers, in filthy, blood-splattered aprons and knee-high boots, pulled out their whetstones. They sharpened vicious, 18-inch knives and heavy cleavers. Someone tossed a mixture of dried yak dung, roots and seeds onto eight small campfires below the rock and five tiny fires on the boulder's surface. The heaving smoke was to signal distant vultures that a sky funeral had started. A noisy flock of about 150 vultures now swooped above the boulder but didn't land. The drunk undertakers appeared numb to the slowly...

*****

THE DALAI LAMA & THE DEAD

Looking vexed during our third interview at his Namgyal Monastery in McLeod Ganj in 1992, the Dalai Lama revealed that secretive investigations indicated his long dead arch-enemy, China's Chairman Mao Zedong, had been reincarnated. This was the Dalai Lama's first mention to any journalist about Mao's reincarnation, or anything about an investigation. A reborn Mao was alive and well? Somewhere in China? Reincarnated as a child? The Dalai Lama's surprise disclosure about the possibility of a reincarnated Mao emerged when I asked what happens to people who do not believe in Buddhism, or reincarnation, and then die? And what punishment in the afterworld would these people suffer if they committed acts of evil while alive -- I randomly tossed out Mao's name as an example -- according to Tibetan Buddhism? Frowning slightly, the Dalai Lama leaned forward and replied: "According to some indications, Chairman Mao has already emerged as one Chinese boy. According to some mysterious investigations. Usually when somebody has passed away, we start to investigate where they'll be reborn. According to some indications, Chairman Mao may be reborn three times among the Chinese. Three times." Were these investigations into Mao's reincarnation being conducted by Tibetan Buddhists? The Dalai Lama nodded and replied while repeatedly laughing: "Oh yes, of course, of course. No Chinese sources. Certainly not Chinese communist sources. But really I don't know where. Also I have no interest to recognize the reincarnation. Unless we create an institution for Mao Zedong's reincarnation." According to Buddhist teaching, all people whether they are Buddhists or not, are reborn after they die either as a human or a creature. It is difficult to be released from these repeated rebirths because all people, including Mao, are trapped on the Wheel of Life. Each dalai lama is believed to be a reincarnated manifestation of Avalokita, also known as Avalokiteshwara, the Bodhisattva of Compassion. A bodhisattva is a person destined for enlightenment, reborn to serve other people. The Dalai Lama said he could not remember his 13 past lives as previous dalai lamas. As usual during our interviews, I again asked the Dalai Lama -- who was older than me and now 57 -- if he achieved nirvana. He replied: "I think you may achieve it first, or before my age. Even a one month retreat is almost impossible now. When I recite some prayer, or remain in a secluded area with no contact with anyone for 24 hours, I still feel a mixture of happiness and sadness," because longer meditations are impossible. Since 1983, I don't think I've had much spiritual progress." Despite Chinese efforts to control and crush Tibet's elaborate forms of Buddhism, many beliefs survived in...

*****

HOLY SADHUS IN INDIA & NEPAL

"Soon, probably he starts smoking hemp -- for it is a curious fact that a large proportion of Indian mystics are addicted to this form of intoxication. Later, he becomes a paramahansa, which means a 'great goose,' and is the highest order of holy man."

~ Lowell Thomas, 1930

Meanwhile in Kathmandu, the capital of Nepal, half-naked sadhus are so highly respected that they were allowed to join privileged guests witnessing the cremation in 2001 of nine murdered members of Nepal's royal family and the princely assassin. "I saw them burn the king and queen and the others," Rada Kris Mudari, a 40-year-old sadhu told me at the Pashupati Temple complex where the cremation took place amid Hindu pagodas, shrines, and sadhu caves. "It was not good when they burned them because the public was not allowed. Only the government people and the army people and us sadhus were here" during the mass royal cremations. "But all people become like this," Mudari said, gesturing at a bleak row of flame-blackened cement funeral ghats. The ghats are raised, rectangular platforms along the Bagmati River where most of Kathmandu's deceased -- royals and commoners -- are brought and cremated according to Hindu and Buddhist rites. "The rich, when they die, do not take anything. They lose everything. Even the royal family do not take their palaces. They don't even take their names. They only take their karma," said bearded, turbaned, barefoot Mudari. Another sadhu sitting nearby, white-bearded Bogindra Das, 55, told me: "Unlike royal people or rich people, we sadhus don't need anything. We give up everything and are always in a peaceful place. Rich people live with money. Poor people live with God's name. So when rich people die, they don't have anything. But poor people, when they die, they have God. But we are all equal because anytime we can die. I've been here at Pashupati Temple for nine or 10 years. I have seen thousands and thousands of bodies burn. "When a king burns, it is different. When royal people die, a lot of army people come here and they make music. When normal people burn, undertakers just put them on some wood and make a fire. Everybody has to go, even we sadhus have to go. We don't have to stay here on earth." Asked if he would like to be a king instead of a sadhu, Das grinned, exposing a few missing teeth. "I do not want to live like a king. I like to live this kind of sadhu life. A king is a king and he is a god in Nepal, but he also dies. I am a sadhu without money, but I don't worry about getting food. God takes care of everything, if I do good karma. I have been reincarnated many times, as many things, as animals and so on, and had many, many different lives. I cannot remember my past lives, but in the Hindu religion there are many powerful books and we have learnt about this. Earth is the place to do karma. We are coming naked into this world and going out naked. "But it is better to be born a sadhu than a king, because a king is only a king of the public world. A sadhu is a king of kings, because when a king goes to learn about God, the king comes to the sadhu." During the past few hundred years, Nepal's various monarchs, prime ministers and other rulers often turned away from the deadly intrigue of Kathmandu's treacherous politics and consulted sadhus and other holymen to find wisdom and bliss. While the sadhus spoke, another holy man, Raday Das Biraghee, 42, quietly adorned his forehead with a thick splat of bright yellow powdered dye. Biraghee also covered his nearly naked body in white ash from the sadhus' camp fire, in keeping with ancient Hindu tradition which regards all ash as auspicious because it comes from fire, which is sacred. Stroking his powder-speckled, bushy black beard, Biraghee said: "I agree with Bogindra Das, I also don't want to be a king in my next life, because a king has to take care of everyone, and has to look after rich people and poor people. A sadhu's life is better. A sadhu is carefree. A sadhu can go everywhere. When a king visits another place, he has to take bodyguards and look everywhere and worry. When a sadhu visits, he doesn't have to worry at all. If a sadhu wants to go to another country, such as India, and stay a long time, no problem. But if a king wants to go and stay a long time, it is a big problem." Soon, the group of sadhus rose to look for food, which they got by begging from visitors at the Pashupati Temple complex. The sadhus strolled past the charred ghats where several people had been cremated...

*****

CALCUTTA'S DOM CASTE UNDERTAKERS

India's spiritual rituals also have a miserable downside for those who cannot escape Hinduism's traditions. When Hindus die in India, regardless of how wealthy or high caste they are, only impoverished and scorned Untouchable caste Doms can prepare the cremation fire and prod the smoldering corpse to ensure it burns. Doms are even allowed to facilitate the last rites of Hinduism's highest Brahmin caste members, but Doms have been forced for generations to remain trapped into being India's undertakers. They are widely despised and discriminated against. Except at the gates of death. "We think Doms are lowly because the work they do is unsophisticated," Rajiv Prakash, a middle-class Hindu told me in his Calcutta shop where he sold home appliances. "I would not marry a Dom. I cannot go against society like that. I think it is wrong, there should not be Untouchables, and they should not be treated like that. But if I marry a Dom, I would suffer and be rejected by my society. Even if I love the girl, if I came to know she is a Dom, I would break it off," Prakash said. Madhab Ghosh, a Toshiba salesman from Bangladesh visiting Prakash's shop agreed and said Hindus can identify a Dom even if the person lies about their caste. "A Dom would not be able to conceal their caste. You would know from the way they dress that they are a low caste. Or the way they talk would not be so intellectual." The Indian government meanwhile has officially tried to end "caste discrimination" but the problem remains widespread. "The president of India was an Untouchable," Ghosh said. He was referring to the 1997 election of 76-year-old K. R. Narayanan to the largely ceremonial role. Narayanan was India's first Untouchable caste president. "I could marry his daughter, but that's because it would be different. Because if it were the president's daughter, people would forget that she was an Untouchable," Ghosh said. "But I cannot be a rebel against millions of Hindus in India. If I wanted to be like that, it is better I go to America or Germany or some place. Even I know it is wrong, it is already inside my brain. It is like with computers. There is ROM and RAM inside. I would not accept a glass of water from a Dom. I would say, 'I am not thirsty' so as not to hurt their heart. If I were alone, OK, I might take it. But not if someone could see me. Because then my circle would reject me. I can't help it. You cannot go against your society." Foreigners who happen to die while holidaying or working in India are often given by their embassies to the Doms, who see that the corpse is neatly stacked atop wooden logs of a funeral ghat in whatever city the foreigner happens to die in, or placed in a modern "electric crematorium" if one is available nearby. Foreigners' relatives who oppose cremations, or want the body sent back to their country of origin, can pay airlines expensive fees to ship the corpse home in a sealed coffin. Less costly is to send an urn of ashes by air freight. "I am a Dom, my work is dead bodies," Sham Sharma, 22, told me while a funeral began in Calcutta's squalid cremation zone at Kali Ghat. "I burn bodies every day. In one day, maybe five bodies. My uncle, father and my grandfather are Doms and they also burn bodies. I don't know how many bodies I've burnt. In my life, maybe 2,000 bodies? "I'm working here six years. My only one problem is money. I like working here. No money, then it's not good. Money, it is then alright. I collect the bodies and put here. And do everything. People say, 'He is Dom. Very, very good. Here is a dead body, come here." As he spoke, a relatively rich group of men arrived. Twelve of them carried a bamboo stretcher which supported the body of an elderly woman. She had been tied to the stretcher's green bamboo slats, so she would not slide off when the small procession walked to the ghat. A Brahmin priest offered instructions to the men on how they should perform age-old Hindu funeral rituals. The eldest son, bare-chested and head freshly shaved as required by the rites, picked up a red clay pot of nearby Hooghly River water and poured it over his mother's corpse. The son's "thread" -- a white string worn throughout life and slung diagonally across his chest and back, from shoulder to waist -- showed he was a Brahmin. The woman on the stretcher had been wrapped in a blue sari, concealing all but her wrinkled face. Her dead mouth was open. The family quietly fussed over her. They removed a bright marigold cloth which was emblazoned Hare Krishna, Hare Ram repeatedly printed in red ink. The son sprinkled flower petals upon her. He watched as nearby Doms built a rectangular pyre...

*****

CHAPTER 2 ~ KILLERS

JAMPA PHUNTSOK & TIBET'S ARMED REBELLION

"The Dalai Lama had already left the palace and was traveling to India, so I did not have a special conversation with him about my decision to pick up a gun. Instead, I went and prostrated three times before the Dalai Lama's empty throne and I spoke my heart for the cause of Buddhism and Tibet's independence. Then I asked the Dalai Lama to please kindly forgive me for giving up my vows." In the dim firelight of the Potala's butter lamps, Jampa then took off his maroon woolen robe and changed into civilian clothes. Jampa told other monks about an armory of ancient weapons stored in the Potala Palace's basement. But most of the monks withdrew to follow the Dalai Lama's caravan. Only a small group accompanied Jampa into the dark, musty cellars. They removed dirt-encrusted rifles, swords and other outdated weaponry. Jampa knew they were no match for China's well-organized People's Liberation Army. But he distributed the inadequate weapons to rouse the monks to fight, and he hoped to get better weapons very soon. Grasping a rifle for the first time, the monks were unsure how to shoot. Through the palace's windows they could see Chinese troops storming the Potala's walls and entrances, hunting for the Dalai Lama. Some monks were so frightened by the loud explosions and falling masonry that they dropped their guns and fled. Even Jampa was alarmed when he watched the Chinese troops advance. "I thought the Chinese were cowards and we could kill them easily. But the Chinese troops were attacking. Never retreating. They were courageous. Tibetans were forced to retreat by the sheer number of Chinese soldiers. We weren't able to defend the Potala for very long." A messenger told the monks the Dalai Lama had safely escaped Lhasa. Elated, Jampa decided their tiny group should leave the Potala before it was completely cut off. They would regroup later and attack Chinese convoys and outlying camps. To engage the Chinese army in the capital now would be suicidal. Several weeks later, Jampa was no longer recognizable. He traded his clothes for a traditional horseman's outfit. He would now wear a brown woolen knee-length chuba coat, fur hat, and tall leather riding boots. Like many Tibetan warriors, he protected himself from bullets by wearing a gau amulet box, slung on a leather strap across the left side of his body. Inside the box, two small statues of protector deities included a traditional blessing from the Dalai Lama, written in gold ink. Jampa now saw himself as a guerrilla. He brandished a rifle and galloped alongside other Tibetans across the rugged moonscapes and forests of Tibet. "There was a highway robber called Samphal and he collected a large gang. Together we rode our horses across the countryside fighting the Chinese. We had tents and all the utensils and extra horses to carry our rations and equipment. There were 150 in my group. They were 100 monks from various monasteries, plus some lay Tibetans and soldiers. Also included were five or six bandits. Many in my band died." Jampa and the other rebels used hit-and-run tactics. He believed the Dalai Lama protected him through supernatural powers. Jampa said he never suffered major injury in any fighting. And he felt he was also fulfilling his great-grandfather's tradition to defend their homeland. "I fought the Chinese until 1960. I killed about 30 Chinese. But I'm not sure the total number, because I don't know how many I killed in battle. I'm very sorry to tell you now that I felt satisfaction when I was killing Chinese. I know as a monk I should not tell you, but honestly, I feel I achieved something and I wished I could kill more Chinese. "We divided ourselves into units of 100. I was appointed the gyapon, or leader, of one unit." The duty of the gyapon was to carry out decisions arrived at the guerrillas' secret meeting...

*****

TONY "POE" POSHEPNY, CIA IN LAOS

America's Central Intelligence Agency actively supported the failed guerrilla war in Tibet against the Chinese, and the defeated Dalai Lama's escape to India, with training, weapons and cash. Years later, the CIA moved into Laos, Cambodia and Vietnam during the US wars in those three countries, all of which also ended in failure. But unlike Tibet, the regional Vietnam War included direct, deadly roles by Americans on the ground. In Laos, the macabre CIA paramilitary officer Anthony A. Poshepny became infamous because he demanded -- and paid for -- dead Lao communists' ears and their chopped-off heads. Poshepny, popularly known as Tony Poe, said he dropped some of those human heads onto America's enemies while flying over his targets. He also boasted about impaling communists' heads on spikes in the jungles of Laos and joining his tribal fighters in celebratory tribal dances around the dead heads of the vanquished. "I threw two heads from an airplane, it was a Dornier plane. The heads landed right in that [Lao] bastard's front door. We were flying at 100 feet," Poe, laughing, told me in his loud, tough, gravelly voice in the living room of his San Francisco home in May 2001. Whose heads? "Any [communist] Pathet Lao or someone else we didn't like. I had a bunch of heads in my hut and the blood was seeping through the floor. It was sticky. And [CIA officer] Bill Lair said, 'Get rid of those goddamn heads'." Poe gleefully described how he also let his ethnic minority Hmong guerrillas celebrate in their stronghold deep in the jungle of northern Laos. "These people are animists. After fighting, they had to have a ceremony. They'd put the heads on bamboo stakes and did a traditional dance around the heads, and throw pebbles at the heads. To show they were victorious." Poe would also explain why he personally executed Vietnamese doctors who he imprisoned in a hole in the jungle even though they begged to defect from the communists. The loquacious Poe said he rewarded his Hmong guerrillas when they brought in, as he demanded, the sliced-off ears of communists killed by the Hmong. It was Poe's way to confirm his Hmong fighters were not lying. He paid them for each ear. But Poe soon demanded the hacked-off head of each enemy, as much more reliable proof. After several years based in the rugged highlands of Laos where he was seriously wounded three times, Poe grew angry at attempts by senior CIA and American Embassy officers to control his activities. In response to US officials' complaints that Poe's gruesome behavior was counterproductive, he sent a bag filled with his Lao enemies' ears to the CIA station in Vientiane, capital of Laos. Poe wanted to prove his Hmong guerrillas were successfully killing communists. The unopened bag arrived on a Friday and sat in the CIA's office over the weekend, he said. "The ears were putrid. I shouldn't have done it because the secretary opened it up and she went crazy. The ears were in cellophane. They dried right up. You know, ears are mostly water. The human body is 80 percent water. And those...

*****

JAMES "MULE" PARKER, CIA IN VIETNAM

When asked during our interviews about the CIA's Vietnamese spies who Parker and others relied on while writing CIA reports for Washington during the war, Parker replied: "Ah, the lying spy syndrome." For the CIA throughout the world, "it's hard to recruit spies, to find them, develop them, recruit them to steal secrets, dispatch them, and then debrief them on their return. "To the uninitiated, it's tougher than it looks. And here's another thought: when that guy or gal you've recruited to be a spy comes back in with the secret information you sent him to get, it's only at this point where the whole process gives a return on our country's investment of time, money [and] risk. "Not the meeting, assessing, developing, recruiting, training, dispatching and the debriefing when he returns. No. You and your agent are only of value to the intel community when you finally, finally write up the intel report. The process can take years sometimes, progressing from one case officer's development to another." Parker recalled how in South Vietnam during the war, "you find a new [Vietnamese] guy through your own spade work or maybe by referral from the US military or South Vietnamese police, and you go on to assess and vet him and recruit him and train him and send him out. And then sometimes he just disappears, losing his nerve when it comes down to actually doing what he has been tasked to do. "And out in the bigger world of spydom, what's the life of a productive [mercenary] spy? Five years maybe, sometimes longer, but not often. They lose their edge -- their interest in having their lives disrupted and endangered -- or they lose their access. Or, after two or three [CIA] case officer handlers, the personal attachment can become weak and the [mercenary] guy maybe just doesn't gee-haw [get along] with the new case officer. "It's a tough business under any conditions. In Vietnam, this difficult business had to be done under combat conditions, where to be found out, meant sure death for the spy." During the Vietnam War, the CIA's American "case officers turned over every couple of years as their tours expired, and the new [CIA] guy was often taken advantage of by the existing [Vietnamese] agents. "For example, if these [Vietnamese] agents were what is known as 'principle' agents, they sent out other Vietnamese contacts as their intel gatherers. These sub-agents were hard to keep up with...as does accountability and chain of acquisition of their information. And, perhaps most common, these hard to verify sub-agents were often ghosts, as in not really there. Vietnamese agents were found out to be 'fabricators' time and again." As the war dragged on, some of the CIA's Vietnamese spies became increasingly corrupt. "We're talking the end of the war here where [Vietnamese] 'principle agents' had come to know pretty much what the CIA generally was looking for. So the good scammers would just stay in place for years -- up until the end really -- feeding marketplace mush to the CIA case officers. "And for years, if 'principle agents' who had worked for the CIA were found out to be phony, or if they hyped low-level info into something that sounded sexy [and] were found out and terminated in one province -- since they knew the business, these slicky boys would often just move to another province and make indirect contact with Americans there with a whole new invented network of sub-sources and sell their fabricated newspaper-inspired stuff, or general ground truths, to an unsuspecting new CIA guy as 'intelligence'," Parker said. "All that new local [Vietnamese] intel entrepreneur had to do was mix in a little truth, and he would look like he had potential. Some of the [Vietnamese] agents identified as 'fabricators' were not necessarily criminal and deceitful in their work but had, along the way, lost their access or their agents were killed or just didn't come back from missions. But [they] continued to pretend that they had sub-agents, when in fact the 'principle agent' was just making up what the [CIA] case officer wanted to hear." Among the CIA's American staff, problems arose because their own bosses demanded more and more information. "You gotta remember that there was pressure on us CIA case officers to produce intels," he said, referring to intelligence reports. "So the emphasis, certainly from say 1968 to 1972, was to believe your [Vietnamese] agent over reasonable doubt sometimes, and keep him on -- to provide the necessary number of reports you need for promotion, or to keep the [CIA] base you were operating from, up to standards." As a result, CIA case officers experienced a "lot of resistance to cleaning your stable of [Vietnamese] assets, or vetting them anew after a year or so in which they had produced five or ten reports a month to you," he said. "It does get into sources and methods that I want to avoid. Suffice it to say that good clandestine trade craft involves constant vetting of your intel agents, and there are probably a great number of case studies that show how a lack vetting resulted in bad ops and funky 'intelligence'. "The general feeling by most [CIA] case officers is, and was, that your [mercenary] agents will always lie to you...”

*****

INTERNATIONAL "BIKINI KILLER" CHARLES SOBHRAJ

"Let me please introduce myself, I'm a man of wealth and taste. And I laid traps for troubadours, Who get killed before they reached Bombay."

~ Mick Jagger & Keith Richards

During our interviews while Sobhraj inside Tihar Jail, he still appeared suave, muscular and excited. He moved easily among guards and other prisoners in the visitors' hall. He had been advising wealthy Indian jail mates how to present their cases to the courts and local media. When I asked how many people he killed during his lifetime, Sobhraj replied in aggressive, French-accented English: "Officially, I am denying I killed anyone. Of course I am denying!" Wearing his typical gear of neatly pressed slacks, slip-on shoes, a shirt rolled up at the elbows and a big golden wristwatch, Sobhraj resembled an urbane Vietnamese salesman, with high cheekbones, giving a hard-sell to a customer in a snazzy showroom instead of a convicted prisoner in the bowels of a wretched prison. He projected bravado while a cluster of Indian prisoners watched in awe from a respectful distance. The now-balding Sobhraj told me his priority was to block extradition from India to Thailand, where he feared certain execution because the statute of limitations had not yet expired for the wanted Bikini Killer. "According to the Thai constitution, they can shoot anyone without trial. So I don't think you can get a fair trial there. There is no evidence to connect me with the crimes there. If I go free from this jail, I will try to stay in India, get residence here and do my writing," Sobhraj said, grinning. "I have my own cell. I make it like an office, with an electric typewriter. I find pleasure in writing short stories. I will try to get married. I don't know yet. I want to settle. Kids is what I want. There is no question of my going back into crime. I've been trying to legalize my situation. I fought my cases patiently. Years ago, I said I would win. Now I want to live quietly." Sobhraj tried to project a woeful image of innocence and repentance during our interviews -- a performance he repeated since childhood to everyone close to him. "My advice to a young person is, it will not be worth getting into crime. As far as possible, a young criminal should try to get out of crime. Society will have to play a role in that. But the most important role is yourself, the psychological changes, your thinking and instincts. Accept the advice of specialized people." Then came Sobhraj's classic, ghoulish cliché: "Here," he said, handing me a bottle of soda. "Have something to drink." For several years, he lorded over Tihar Jail's miserable universe including the prison's superintendent who Sobhraj blackmailed. Whenever Sobhraj went to the superintendent's office, their conversation inevitably turned to ways that the superintendent could profit from Sobhraj, who generously offered to cut him in on a slew of devious business deals which would easily profit the delighted jailer. But Sobhraj also planted eavesdropping devices which recorded the superintendent's illegal rackets. When Sobhraj later played a few sound bites, the frantic superintendent had no choice but to agree to share power with the usurping inmate or else suffer exposure. That scam worked for a while but eventually leaked and hit India's media. The government investigated the superintendent's activities, and transferred him elsewhere. Despite denying that he ever killed anyone, Sobhraj wrote descriptions of himself promoting his never-published memoirs, shamelessly hyping that he was a "master jail breaker," "master criminal" and "master murderer." He showed me short stories he wrote while in prison, including his version of Prime Minister Indira Gandhi's 1984 assassination. Sobhraj's written description of her two Sikh bodyguards shooting her dead in the garden of her New Delhi residence was filled with his own fantasies and macabre, bloody imagery rendered in graphic slow motion detail with her splattered blood reverently depicted in words. When I asked about various charges against him in seven other countries, Sobhraj smiled and replied: "Nobody has applied for my extradition except the Thais." Sobhraj said he enjoyed sharpening his wits by reading German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche and Swiss psychiatrist Carl Jung. "I believe the childhood I had played a lot in my development. Certain traumatic things in my psychological setup." He enjoyed respect among Tihar's staff. "He is a good man," a policeman guarding the main gate told me. "I know Charles very well. Maybe he is a killer. But he is a very brave man." In 1986, about a year after our prison interviews, Sobhraj did the thing he knew best: he escaped Tihar Jail by hosting a birthday party for the Indian guards and serving them drugged sweets. They nodded out after stuffing their faces. Sobhraj drove out through Tihar Prison's gates in a shiny white car...

*****

INDIA'S "BANDIT QUEEN" PHOOLAN DEVI

She glumly sat in Gwalior's squalid jail fearing extradition back to her home state of Uttar Pradesh, which had a list of her alleged 22 Behmai village murders and where she faced a possible death sentence. Sitting on a bench in the bleak, sun-baked yard of Gwalior Jail, Phoolan Devi winced while denying direct involvement in the massacre. Dark-eyed, short and dowdy, Phoolan Devi did not appear as anyone's idea of a female gangster. Barefoot, she wrapped herself in a black-and-purple sari. She wore a cheap metal stud in one nostril. A few green plastic bangles jangled on her arms. Phoolan Devi looked like a stubby village woman with a defiant expression, perpetually on the verge of tears. "In the Behmai massacre, I didn't kill anyone. Everyone else in the gang did," she told me in a Hindi dialect at the jail. "I searched the houses." Later in our interview, she boasted of having "killed some people" during other escapades. "I didn't want to become a dacoit. People misused me," she said, alternating between sarcastic, earthy remarks and genuinely frightened weeping. When asked what she would do now that she was imprisoned, she smiled and bragged, "I'll escape and become a dacoit again." Her advice to any young girl trying to decide whether or not to follow in her footsteps? "Oh yes, be a dacoit," Phoolan Devi said, sneering and sassily tossing her head to the side. "If she's been harassed, she should harass." Beneath the bravado lived a terrified woman who knew that India's justice system often twisted slowly and brutally. Suddenly bursting into tears, she said softly: "I don't want to be released. I want to die. I want to be punished, because I don't want this burden carried over into my next life. When I am reborn, I want to be a man. It is much easier for men to live. "They're not oppressed. And there's not so much revulsion against them. I regret surrendering because of all the problems I have now." Authorities said her surrender was unconditional, but she insisted the government verbally promised to give her family a gun license so they could buy a weapon to protect themselves in their vulnerable village. No license had yet been issued. And a cousin had seized her defenseless family's land, police said. Phoolan Devi also complained she was not being allowed to leave prison to visit her family, who often stayed in Gwalior just to be near her. Phoolan Devi had expected occasional day-trips as part of her rehabilitation program. When news of Phoolan Devi's surrender appeared in American newspapers, Susie Coelho Bono, wife of former American entertainer Sonny Bono, flew to India and wooed Phoolan Devi with dreams of fame and fortune. Susie, of Indian parentage and a model bent on becoming an actress, reportedly smuggled a tape recorder into Phoolan Devi's cell and spent four hours a day, for two weeks, taping her story with the aid of a translator. "We became good friends," Susie was quoted as saying at the time. "In fact, by the time I'd finished interviewing, I felt as if we were sisters. I hope one day to get her out of India and bring her to the United States." Phoolan Devi now cursed Susie Bono. "She told lies," Phoolan Devi said, gazing out the door at Gwalior's dusty, hot prison yard. "Nothing ever happened. Susie said they would make a film and pay me 60,000 rupees [$5,000 at the time]. But all she did was send me some clothing and paid me 3,500 rupees. I feel used because of this." Phoolan Devi's short-lived notoriety did attract other fans. "Someone from France came to Gwalior wanting to marry me," she chuckled. Bombay's giant film industry made a box-office hit about Phoolan Devi. Not amused, she filed a defamation suit against the Bollywood movie makers for $50,000 in damages. One of her objections to the film, titled Kahani Phoolwati Ki, was that dacoits do not dance around trees when they fall in love. Though Phoolan Devi felt abandoned, she had not been forgotten by the man who risked his life...

*****

JONATHAN "JACK" IDEMA IN KABUL

"That's what I love about Afghanistan, if you tell someone you are going to kill them, they fucking believe you," Idema said during our interviews in December 2001 and January 2002 in Kabul. "If I'm in New York and I tell someone I'm going to kill them, they say, 'Yeah motherfucker? Well, I'm going to kill you first.' But not Afghanistan. Here they believe you." Born in Poughkeepsie, New York in 1956, the short, stocky Idema dyed his salt-and-pepper hair black and loved to show off his weapons which he occasionally fired to intimidate people. He traveled with a handful of young, armed Afghan men who he ordered about, often shoving wads of US dollars into their hands and waving his big military knife at them while theatrically laughing with glee. His knife was the same blade he used in Kabul at home, to eat thick, grilled steak when he invited me for dinner alongside his Afghan gang. Meanwhile, in a worrying display of intimidation, Idema also threatened to murder an American foreign correspondent representing the Stars and Stripes newspaper. The reporter remembered interviewing Idema in a federal prison during the 1990s after Idema had been sentenced to three years for defrauding dozens of US companies for a total of $260,000. When the journalist revealed this overlooked and disgraceful biographical information to other correspondents who were gathered together during a December 2001 party in Kabul, Idema went verbally ballistic. "I just might have to fucking kill you! Now get the fuck out of here before I do!" Idema shouted at the reporter while other worried correspondents hurriedly exited the dining room. The two men then loudly argued while I discreetly stood behind them, eavesdropping and slowly scooping frosted cake into my plate. "You don't believe me? Test me. Just test me! But get the fuck out of here now or else," Idema ranted. The shaken journalist was hosting the party and politely mentioned that this was his rented house. Idema responded: "I said get the fuck out of here. Now!" "But this is my house." "You think this house is yours? This wasn't your house before, so shut the fuck up. If I hear another word out of you, I swear I will..." Several days later, the correspondent told his colleagues: "Look his name up on Internet, and the story of him in jail will come up. His name is spelt I-D-E-M-A." Most foreign journalists avoided Idema and warned everyone else that he was an unstable trouble-maker who liked to brandish weapons and take advantage of Afghanistan's anarchy. Idema insisted he was acting to protect innocent Afghans from being exploited and abused by all sides, so they would not suffer from the US invasion or revenge attacks by recently ousted Taliban and Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda network. "I work for God and country," Idema, who wore military-style fatigues with a US flag shoulder patch, said. After much coaxing, he showed me his supposed, impossible-to-confirm resume, which he kept on his laptop. It listed military badges he claimed to have earned and his experience including: El Salvadoran Master Parachute Wings Royal Thai Army Balloon Wings Royal Thai Army Master Parachute Wings Royal Laotian Combat Parachute Wings Kuwaiti Police Commander Badge German Senior Parachute Wings Nicaraguan Senior Parachute Wings 11 years in the United States Army Special Forces 18 years in Special Operations 1978: Military adviser in Nicaragua and South Africa 1979: Primary SWAT instructor for New York State police Olympic SWAT team, Lake Placid 1980: Primary weapons and tactics instructor for British SAS commandos during Operation Honeygift 1982-83: Special Forces adviser El Salvador 1984: Chief instructor/adviser for the USAID Diplomatic Protection Guard during the Haitian coup attempt 1984: Chief tactics and firearms instructor for Ron Reagan, Jr., David Morrell, author of First Blood Rambo 1985: Chief instructor in tactics and hostage rescue training for SEAL Team Two, Counter-Terrorist Group Academy 1986: Director of training for United States National Park Service and Park Police for the Statue of Liberty rededication ceremonies, SWAT, counter-terrorism and explosives training 1987: Led a classified successful rescue recovery mission to the Caribbean for a Mid-Eastern prince 1991: Adviser to the Lithuanian national police, National Academy and ARAS Commandos, The Eagle, Lithuania" Idema also named a slew of courses he completed at Fort Dix in New Jersey, Fort Benning in Georgia, Fort Bragg in North Carolina, Fort Drum in New York and Fort Devens in Massachusetts. His biography stopped in 1991. "For the past 10 years, I've been 'black'," Idema said, hinting at secret missions he could not divulge. In Afghanistan, Idema dubbed himself "a civilian adviser to the Northern Alliance." The alliance was comprised of the late Ahmad Shah Masood's former mujahideen and other guerrillas who were now helping the US invade, hunt the Taliban and their al Qaeda allies. "I am a [former] Green Beret." Idema also boasted that armed enemy Afghans recently threatened him on a road near the eastern city of Jalalabad, until he shouted that he was an American and bluffed that if anyone hurt him, a retaliatory US air strike would obliterate the place and everyone there...

*****

CHAPTER 3 ~ WAR

AMERICANS, SOVIETS & MUJAHIDEEN IN AFGHANISTAN

"What has war brought them? Grave instead of shelter. Shroud instead of clothes. Bullet in the stomach instead of food."

~ Marxist Afghan President Najibullah

"I command 5,000 Tajik tribesmen, 1,000 of whom are armed," Roziya told me, smiling in front of her Dohab home in the undulating desert. "I usually carry my Kalashnikov, but I know how to use a pistol, rifle, hand grenades and all other weapons. "I was a mujahideen from 1980 to 1984. But I left the mujahideen to join the government of Afghanistan. The mujahideen were deceived into thinking Islam was in danger in our country. But I realized it wasn't true. I like the Russians. They help us. When we don't need their help, their army will go back." Her direct, challenging brown eyes scanned the horizon's low hills rippling towards Iran and peppered with deadly landmines buried by the Marxist regime to ward off cross-border rebel attacks. Most women in Afghanistan are forced by Islamic tradition to wear a chador, covering her head and upper body. Less popular is a head-to-toe burqa sheet, which allows only hands and feet to remain exposed. While covered in a chador or burqa, females peer out through a lattice of embroidered tiny holes at eye level. Women work, shop, chat and travel while draped. A chador or burqa is enforced by most males because they fear the exposed face or bodily shape of a female can be an immoral, shameful display of tempting sexuality. As a result, Afghanistan's women spend most of their lives apart from men, secreted away in a curtained-off purdah room at home -- purdah means curtain in Persian -- or in female-only huddles at mosques, on buses, and even among friends. After the 1978 revolution, the Marxist government shocked Afghan society by announcing women could, overnight, enjoy freedom to dress as they pleased, work in the civil service, fight in the armed forces, join institutions, and receive other equal rights. Commander Roziya said she emerged from the revolution in a stronger position than before. Her husband sheepishly admitted that in some ways, she also had become superior to men. "We have been married for four years. Maybe she's a better fighter than I am," Roziya's 32-year-old husband Ali Mohammad said laughing. "She knows things better than me, that's why she's a commander. In my home, she is also my commander." But even among the government's supporters, not everyone was pleased with communist-style feminism. In the northern city of Mazar-i-Sharif, the top Muslim clergyman inside the city's big-bubbled, blue-domed mosque said in 1987 he loved the Russians and the Afghan regime, but he never allowed women's liberation in his own home. Moulvi Abdul Hameed, 47, was the burly imam of the ulema, or Islamic clergy, of Mazar-i-Sharif and the surrounding desert and mountains of northern Afghanistan's Balkh province which bordered the Soviet Union. He was surprisingly blunt about whether or not women should be unveiled. "The wearing of clothes such as a chador or short skirts does not make a woman a Muslim or an infidel," Hameed told me inside the Blue Mosque. "Women now have this freedom. But Islam says every woman who makes herself beautiful only for her husband is good. For example, I am married with two sons and two daughters. My wife is a housewife. She wears a chador when she goes outside. Why? Because it is our custom and our tradition. It doesn't show man is superior. It is for the decoration of women." Hameed chuckled. "For those women who are very ugly, it is better for them." He chuckled again. "I don't tell you if my wife is beautiful or not. But I like for her to wear a chador. She looks more beautiful with a chador than without!" If Hameed were born a woman, would he want to wear a chador? "That is a funny question! It is nonsense to ask me because I am a moulvi." Elsewhere in Mazar-i-Sharif, at an all-girls' school named after Afghan female poet Fatmay Balkhi, none of the students wore veils. Wajma Nahi, an 18-year-old student, told me in a classroom interview: "I wore a chador until last year. I stopped because conditions here became better. Now it is peaceful. Some years ago, the counter-revolutionaries [Islamist guerrillas] said, 'You should wear the chador.' It was compulsory. I don't like wearing it because everyone likes freedom and I didn't feel free." Back in Kabul, the Marxist regime continued to discourage chadors and burqas...

*****

INDIA'S KASHMIR

All along the route, distraught residents in tiny villages described tortures inflicted upon them by Indian troops. While riding in the car during the last section of our journey to meet Salludin, one young, laughing mujahideen sitting next to me in the backseat, held up a hand grenade for me to admire, as if he were displaying a delicious ripe apple. The rebel proudly vowed, if Indian troops tried to stop this vehicle, he would throw the grenade at them. Then we could all run away and escape. Soon, a low-roofed house appeared, heavily guarded by a dozen mujahideen armed with AK-47 assault rifles, rocket launchers, walkie-talkies and hand grenades. The young mujahideen gently rolled his grenade back into his pocket, stepped out of the car, and dutifully took up a watchful position along a wall. Salludin had confirmed by walkie-talkie that he would be waiting inside. When he appeared, Salludin explained to me how he was leading a jihad, or holy war, to rip valuable Kashmir away from India, attach it to Pakistan and establish a fundamentalist Islamic society where true Muslims could be protected and dwell in peace. "If someone does a theft, his hand must be cut off, so society can be saved," Salludin said in a voice which initially hid its gruffness. "But we do not cut the hand of every thief. First, the government is bound to provide the necessities of life for every citizen. And we can't stone a person to death who is not married. It is a person who is already married, who rapes a woman and uses an illegal way for sexual satisfaction, and has brutal behavior. We want to save the society, so we want to give him a stern punishment." Salludin's rebels also traveled to Afghanistan which was admired by Islamist guerrillas around the world as the best and most violent campus available to learn how to fight, because it offered sophisticated weapons training and proven, experimental insurgent tactics. "More than 4,000 Kashmiri militants have received training in Afghanistan and, at present, more than 3,000 are there in Afghanistan now. That's a total of 7,000," Salludin boasted. "As Afghanistan has done in winning, and the Soviet Union has disintegrated into so many pieces, India will also disintegrate if it does not recognize the self-determination of Kashmir's people. "The Indian army kills the innocent masses. When we are going to hit a military convoy, we feel they will take their revenge on innocent people. In spite of that, we attack them. Then the people suffer. So, we try to hit them out of the population areas. But the people are ready for this cause, and tell us, 'Don't lose heart'. "We hope to obtain a corridor along the border area," Salludin said, describing what he hoped would be the first-ever slice of guerrilla-held territory in Kashmir which could allow them to enjoy better supply links from sympathizers in northern Pakistan's part of Kashmir. "It is in the best interest of Kashmir to become a greater Kashmir with Pakistan, and make a great Islamic nation." As the fighting worsened, ardent Islamist guerrillas from other Muslim-majority nations sneaked in to help Kashmir's rebels battle India's army, which often appeared confused and poorly disciplined. The most admired of these new, foreign combatants were battle-hardened Afghan mujahideen. At another of Salludin's safe houses, one of his "battalion commanders," Mohammad Abu Nasar, 36, proudly introduced a handful foreign Muslim guerrillas who had clandestinely crossed into Kashmir and joined their fight. From Afghanistan, heavyset Akbar Bai, 27, showed me his sinister "two-in-one" AK-47. He had the assault rifle customized with an additional, built-in, fat-barreled rocket launcher. Bai said he captured the rocket launcher from Soviet forces before they lost the war and withdrew, and he realized it could fit onto his rifle. From Khartoum, Sudan, came curly-haired Yasin Salin Masood. "I went to Afghanistan two years ago to fight, and came here to Kashmir one month ago," Masood told me. "I came to share in the jihad. There are 300 to 400 Arabs here, from Libya, Algeria, Bahrain and other places. My organization in Sudan, the Akhwan Muslimeen (Muslim Brotherhood), first sent me to Afghanistan and then said: 'If you'd like to go to Kashmir, go'. They sent me for the experience. Here you feel the meaning of Islam and jihad." Back in Srinagar meanwhile, victims languishing in...

*****

THE LIBERATION TIGERS OF TAMIL EELAM

A much more devastating war was ripping apart Sri Lanka, turning its popular cliché of being a "teardrop-shaped island" into a grim reality. "He deserved to be shot," an excited Tamil businessman said loudly, waving his hands at a limp, gray-haired corpse tightly roped to a lamp post in Jaffna city's central bus station in the early morning. A horrified crowd gawked at the bullet-riddled body -- a grisly public warning not to inform on Sri Lanka's ethnic minority Tamil guerrillas. "You see the sign next to his body?" a Tamil housewife angrily announced to the gathering crowd. "It says he informed to the army about the boys." The dead man had been positioned and tied so he slumped upright, leaning against the lamp post. Bare-chested, he wore a blood-stained white cloth knotted around his waist. His weight caused the thick coarse rope to squeeze into his chest under his arms and thighs. His bare feet rested, slightly splayed, in the gutter. Alongside him was a big, taller sign which displayed a long message handwritten with blue paint in Tamil language. It also showed three signed documents stuck to the sign with thumbtacks above an illustration of an elephant using its trunk to grab and lift a bicyclist off the ground. A striped tiger -- symbolic of the guerrillas -- pounced on the elephant's head, drawn to resemble Sri Lanka's President Junius R. Jayewardene. The big blue text said the dead man was Nirmalan of Chithankarni village on Jaffna's outskirts. He was executed by the Tamil Eelam Army, one of the smaller guerrilla groups among about 35 Tamil rebel organizations fighting for independence for northern Sri Lanka's Jaffna Peninsula and Eastern Province. Frowning shoppers, workers and bus passengers jostled to get a closer look at the body and read the sign. Many of the Tamil witnesses muttered that the man got what he deserved. One shopkeeper, gazing at Nirmalan's corpse, said to me the killing was "correct because he put the lives of the militants in danger by informing to the army. "We have not yet gained our independent Tamil nation, so we do not have our own police, courts and prisons to give the fair trials usually held in democratic countries for these people. So, though I do not like to see bodies in our streets, there is no alternative." As he spoke, several men clustered nearby and angrily blurted: "Yes! Yes!" A businessman insolently gestured at the body and caustically told me: "We feel he has received a fair trial because the militants are well-educated university boys under strict discipline by their leaders. This dead man must have received warnings, and would not have been killed unless the militants were absolutely certain he was an informer...”

*****

CHAPTER 4 ~ SEX

MICHELLE, IN PEEPLAND ON 42ND STREET

"I was on Stage One. She was on Stage Three. And it was not too far from Thanksgiving, and there were not too many girls there because it was a Sunday afternoon. I was alone on stage and I was making pretty good money. What you could do is, you stood on the little coin box that's in front of each booth. And then you could look over the partition and see, like, the other stages and the guys. "And when I was standing up there, because usually we call guys in that way, I saw Alison on the other stage and she bent over. It's like she took the money. And she bent over. And all of a sudden, this guy just took a knife and stabbed her in the butt. "And then she just screamed like it was an unbelievable sound. It all happened very quickly. She fell. So another girl grabbed her, someone yelled for security. There was one [security guard] who came inside on stage to see what happened. And the [customer] guy was still in the booth, so the security guard went and basically held him inside. "I didn't see him after this, but this is what they told me -- he was crouched down on the ground like he was in shock or something and, um, they just locked the door and called the cops. "Alison was pretty bad. There was blood everywhere. "I wanted to stay off stage because I went there to see how she was doing and, um, basically they told me to get back to work because they didn't want to leave the stage empty, because there were still customers there. "It was truly bizarre because you had security guards screaming holding this guy, you had Alison screaming with blood everywhere, and you had all of these customers who just continued to go into the booths and um, you know, wanted to, um, ha, ha, just, you know, continue working business as usual. And it was funny, because the money was very good too. It was like just the fact that the place was in such disarray, there were people screaming, it's like it turned them on, they wanted to spend more money. "And then the cops came and they were all over the place. "They came into the booth, and they asked me if I wanted to go out. They tipped and touched me and asked me for my phone number and they were totally like no one had cared that this girl had just gotten stabbed. They just carted her away in the ambulance and dragged the guy up from the booth, kicking and screaming. He was really freaked out, yeah. So I guess that was one of the freakiest things. "Alison stayed away for several months. She went on to marry her pimp. "It seemed like the guy [with the knife] had been there before. He was regular customer who just lost his mind. It was the first time I realized the real threat that there is, when you are working with a customer. "They would have things, like, guys who would do stuff. Like, they'd put something on their hands that would burn you. I don't know what the substance is, but a customer is touching you between your legs and he has something on his hands or on his gloves. There were guys who used to come in and they would wear these kind of surgical gloves. If you were not really watching a customer, he has access, he can do anything to you. So if he put some ammonia on his fingers, or some liquid that was alcohol-based, he would try to put his fingers in your pussy to burn you. "So that stuff happens. Then you have to be careful of guns and hypodermic needles because we were on 42nd Street and all of the locals would come down. I mean these guys were basically drug dealers and gang members and, of course, pimps. Like these are the guys you didn't want to piss off because you always had to walk back outside again. "I had a customer and then, after work when I was leaving, he followed me out of the building and was trying to talk to me. But because I was outside, I became myself again and I wouldn't talk to him. I was ignoring him. "And, uh, he freaked out on me and he screamed at me when I was half-way down the street: 'You stupid bitch. You think you're too good to talk to me, but I just touched your pussy for five dollars.' "It was mortifying. Because it was like, you know, when there's a scene, everybody watches you. So all of a sudden there are dozens of people who all turned to look at me because of his screaming and carrying on. And now they know I work in a peepshow. "There was one particular who used a flashlight and he would want you to kind of, like, you would have to hold onto its handle and you would have to...

*****

     Rituals. Killers. Wars. & Sex.

~ Tibet, India, Nepal, Laos, Vietnam, Afghanistan, Sri Lanka & New York

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B086Y7D48L

[viadescioism]

The arskasa ona language of the ravens of antimony, and the basic dictionary

The alphabet of desire known as the Ravens of antimony can also be written, and spoken using its own syntax, and grammar. It's language is primarily based off english and is primarily used by me The Wolf of antimony to obscure information from people I do not want to know it. It is also used as a magickal language in my rituals, and spells as something that can connect me more in my craft when I am partaking in it. This language is made up of the 36 sounds of the ravens of antimony alphabet of desire. These sounds are connected together along with the meanings of the sounds to form words. This means that you can take the ravens of antimony's word for raven which is arskasa, and are able to split it down in its letters to gain its basic meaning. In the case of arskasa it would come down to AR - SKA - SA. AR meaning wise, SKA meaning life, and SA meaning dark, so the word for Raven technically comes out to in its base meaning wise life dark. Arskasa is a word that is also made up of a another word. This word being arska meaning animal. Also each letter is its own syllable and will be spoken as such. The Ravens of antimony language is written, and spoken in subject-verb-object sentence structure, just like English.

LUST (E) | [eh] as the “e” in “met.”

PASSION (U) | [oo] as the “oo” in “boot.”

DEVOTION (Æ)(A') | [Ay] as the "ay" in "May"

PREJUDICE (TA) | [Tah]

ANGER (HA) | [Hah]

MISUNDERSTANDING (RA) | [Rah]

SKILL (A) | [Ah] as the “a” in “father.”

MIGHT (I) | [Ee] as the “ee” in “meet.”

ASCENDANCY (O) | [Oh] as the “o” in “boat.”

CHAOS (KA) | [Kah]

PANIC (ȜA) (Gha)| [Ghah]

HORROR (þA) (Tha) | [Thah]

DARK (SA) | [Sah]

CONNECTION (LA) | [Lah]

LIGHT (MA) | [Mah]

WISDOM (AR) | [Ar] as the “ar” in “car.”

KNOWLEDGE (JA) | [Jah]

LOGIC (NA) | [Nah]

BINDING (BA) | [Bah]

WARDING (GA) | [Gah]

PROTECTION (CA) | [Cah]

INSANITY (ZA) | [Zah]

ILLUSION (QA) | [Qah]

FANTASY (FA) | [Fah]

ENERGY (KNA) | [Knah]

LIFE (SKA) | [Skah]

HEALTH (SHA) | [Shah]

CORRUPTION (ACK) | [Ack]

DEATH (ABT) | [Abt]

BANISHMENT (ARD) | [Ard] as the “ard” in “card”

PAIN (PA) | [Pah]

EXPERIENCE (DA) | [Dah]

ENLIGHTENMENT (XA) | [Ksah]

UNKNOWN (YA) | [Yah]

RELEASE (VA) |  [Vah]

REBIRTH (WA) | [Wah]

The two configurations:

Projective, yang, masculine, Damakna = Dama

Resistant, yin, feminine, Dasakna = Dasa

The five states of the Ravens of antimony language:

Intention of hostility, aggression, and power = Uknaoxava

Intention of love, calm, and emotions = Shaknaoxava

Intention of logic, good communication, and inspiration = Naknaoxava

Intention of groundedness, sternness, and nurturing = Daknaoxava

Intention of great spiritual understanding, religious zeal, and divine unity = Skaknaoxava

modifying words:

plural  = "Ona" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

used like the -ing  = "Vada" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

possession ('s) =  "Iba" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

Past tense = "Jaskadala" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

Present tense = "Daskadala" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

Future tense = "Yaskadala" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

prefix of er = "Owa" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

prefix of est = "Oxa" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

prefix that increases the power and energy of the word it is connected to used like the word "very" = "Aiokna" as its own separate word after the word it is modifying

weakening of meaning, and sort of representing = "Acki"

Indicates a question = "Oya"

to release the energy of the sentence = "Ovakna"

word that modifies the word before to make it a number = "Onakna"

modifying word that changes nouns to the opposite = "Opawa"

modifying word that changes nouns to the cute form ="Oshasha"

modifying word that changes nouns to adjective or adverb form = "Oqaja"

word that releases energy at the end of a statements = Oxajava

Honorifics:

Lord, boss, Authority = Omabala

worker, peasant, underling = Osabala

Master, teacher = Vaarla

God, enlightened Being, ascended master = Yamasala

Student = Xajala

Non-binary sir = Dalala

Noun:

Genesis = Oxakna

Theós = Damakna

Theá = Dasakna

Ouranios Ethos = Madaqa

Agora Ethos = Ladaqa

Chthonic Ethos = Sadaqa

Andros = Uknayamasa

Sophizo = Shaknayamasa

Iaomai = Naknayamasa

Pharmakeia = Daknayamasa

Apotheosis = Xaoxa

Philosophia = Najaar

Eudaimonia = Umao

Philotimon = A'jau

Isoropia = Laarda

Sophrosyne = Tau

Eleutheria = Vadaska

Humility = Davaabt

Agapi = Xa'ua'

Stoicism = Abtgha

"Name for the dot that makes space in between words." = Arlaar

"Name for colon that acts as a period at the end of a sentence." = Laabt

"Name for question mark." = Layaja

"Name for exclamation mark." = Laola

Force field, and protective energy = Cakna

Ravens of antimony aspects = Okna

Ravens of antimony  Sub aspects = Akna

Antimony = Xadakna

Sun = Ouknadakna

Moon = Oshaknadakna

Name = Skadaja

Help = Wadama

Abundance = Maoo

Alligator = Arskasasa

Ant = Arskakapa

Dear = Arskaiu

Badger = Arskaha

Bee = Arskaa

Camel = Arskahama

Cat = Arskaga

Cheetah = Arskahaa

Chicken = Arskabaskaka

Cow = Arskaba

Crocodile = Arskamama

Deer = Arskaa'

Dog = Arskau

Dolphin = Arskaosha

Duck = Arskavasha

Eagle = Arskavava

Elephant = Arskaua'

Fly = Arskaabt

Fox = Arskaaka

Frog = Arskaza

Giraffe = Arskao

Goat = Arskabada

Goldfish = Arskabasha

Hamster = Arska

Hippopotamus = Arskauu

Horse = Arskababaska

Human = Arskapadaxa

kangaroo = Arskakaka

Lion = Arskauma

Lobster = Arskashaca

Monkey = Arskapadaxaqa

Octopus = Arskana

Owl = Arskaar

Panda = Arskara

Pig = Arskabaska

Rabbit = Arskae

Rat = Arskanana

Raven = Arskasa

Scorpion = Arskakapaha

Seal = Arskaskasha

Shark =  Arskashai

Sheep = Arskaska

Snail = Arskaca

Snake = Arskagha

Spider = Arskatha

Squirrel = Arska

Siger =  Arskai

Turtle = Arskacaca

Wolf = Arskama

Zebra =  Arskasalama

Yes = Mava

No = Sava

Hello = Labadaska

Goodbye = Dava

Good morning = Tamama

Good afternoon = Tamala

Good evening = Tamasa

Welcome = Mabava

Good = Tama

Evil = Tasa

Time = Qadanakna

Magick = Knaxaja

Magic = Faknaxaja

Language = Laja

Person = Arskaxa

Animal = Arska

Raven = Arskasa

Sigil = Laqa

Text = Laqalaja

Book = Jalaqalaja

Box = Skaqaba

Lesson = Java

Element = Ushanadaskakna

Fire = Ukna

Water = Shakna

Air = Nakna

Earth = Dakna

Spirit = Skakna

Space = Skaknaya

Void =  Skaknayaack

Symbol = Daknalaqa

Mind = Skaskaarkna

Body = Skaskadakna

Individual = Skaska

Door = Daknaga

Doors = Daknagao

Building = Daknabagaca

Reincarnation = Abtwa

Action = Vada

Terrestrial body = Odakna

Planet = Odakna

Number = Nakna

Library = Jalaqalajadaknabagaca

Sense = lada

Past = Jaskada

Present, Now, Here = Daskada

Future = Yaskada

Abomination = Sakaackyatha

Place = Daskada

Like = Mala

Secret = Naya

Next = Wava

Want = Ba'

Information = Naja

Release = Va

Focus = Taa'

God = Masa

Goddess = Sama

Deity = Yamasa

Northwest = Xaa'skaknaya

North = Xaskaknaya

Northeast  Xaoskaknaya

East = Oskaknaya

Southeast = Yaoskaknaya

South = Yaskaknaya

Southwest  = Yaa'skaknaya

West = A'skaknaya

Day = mama

Night = Sasa

Sunday =  Skamama

Monday = Knamama

Tuesday = Imama

Wednesday = Namama

Thursday = Omama

Friday = Umama

Saturday = Amama

Spring = Shaqadanakna

Summer = Skaqadanakna

Autumn = Ardqadanakna

Winter = Abtqadanakna

January, January moon = Wasaodakna

February, February moon = Usaodakna

March, March  moon = Knasaodakna

April, April moon = Shasaodakna

May, May moon = Skasaodakna

June, June moon = Dasaodakna

July, July moon = Vasaodakna

August, August moon = Isaodakna

September, September moon = Arsaodakna

October, October moon = Thasaodakna

November, November moon = Ardsaodakna

December, December moon = Abtsaodakna

Month = Saodakna

Lust = E

Passion = U

Devotion = A'

Prejudice =Ta

Anger = Ha

Skill = A

Might = I

Ascendancy = O

Chaos = Ka

Panic = Gha

Horror = Tha

Dark, Darkness = Sa

Connection = La

Light = Ma

Wisdom = Ar

Knowledge = Ja

Logic = Na

Binding = Ba

Protection = Ca

Insanity = Za

Illusion = Qa

Fantasy = Fa

energy = Kna

Life = Ska

Spiritual life =  Padaxa

Health = Sha

Corruption = Ack

Death = Abt

Spiritual death = Yavawa

Banishment = Ard

Pain = Pa

Experience = Da

Enlightenment = Xa

Unknown = Ya

Rebirth = wa

Love = Eua'

Hate = Tahara

Power = Aio

Fear = Kaghatha

Spirituality = Salama

Reason = Arjana

Safety = Bagaca

Delusion = Zaqafa

Creation = Knaskasha

Destruction = Ackabtard

Magick = Knaxaja

Magic = Faknaxaja

Luck = Yama

Toilet = Ackshakna

Abyss = Saoo

Male = Damaska

Female = Dasaska

Nonbinary = Dalaska

Help = Wadama

great spiritual awe and a connection to all things past present and future = Dasalamaxa

Maybe = Mavalasava

Aman, showing of great honor and reverence, at the end of communication, thanks and respect for = skaar

You're welcome =  Vawadama

Good morning = Malabadaska

Good afternoon = Lalabadaska

Good evening = Salabadaska

Goodnight = Sasalabadaska

Excuse me = Vaskada

Verb:

Bind = Ba

Ward = Ga

Hate = Tahara

Fear = Kaghatha

Love = Eua'

Experience = Da

Pain = Pa

Panic = gha

Anger = Ha

Misunderstand = Ra

Lust = E

Focus = Taa'

Come = Bavadaskada

Luck = Yama

Help = Wadama

Name = Skadaja

Thank, Thank you, You're welcome = Vawadama

Get = Baba

Give = Vaba

Go = Vadaskada

Understand = Mara

Keep = Labaca

Let, Allow = A'da

Make = Naknaskasha

Put = A'ba

Seem = Tana

Take = Bava

Speak = Vakna

Be, Is, Are, Am, Are = Dada

Do, Does = Tada

Have, Has = Laba

Say = Naqada

See = Qada

Send = Lavava

May = A'ii

Will = Ida

Experience = Da

Time = Qadanakna

Welcome = Mabava

Power = Aio

Sense = Lada

Number = Nakna

Build = Daknabagaca

Can = Mava

listen = Arknalada

Open = Vaca

share = Vadalada

Learn = Xaja

Mean = Knaja

Like = Mala

Want = Bae

Release = Va

Hold = Bada

Teach = Vaar

shine, shines, emanate, emit, summon, illuminate = Mavava

Activate, start = Navama

Deactivate, stop = Navasa

Adjective, and Adverb:

On = Xama

Off = Xasa

Under = Vasa

Up, Above = Mao

Center, Middle = Lao

Down, Below = Sao

Not = Sara

First = Taa'

Afraid = ghada

Good = Tama

Evil, Bad = Tasa

Individual = Skaska

Sorry = Wama

Open = Vaca

Mean = Knaja

Safe = Bagaca

Past = Jaskada

Present = Daskada

Future = Yaskada

Secret = Naya

Next = Wava

Unknown = Ya

Old = Saqadanakna

New = Maqadanakna

Trick = Aqa

Over = Vama

Through = Vala

Not = Sara

Then = Dayao

Please = Mau

Next = Wava

wild = Uknaza

Conjunction:

And = Lala

Or = Fafa

nor = Thatha

For = Vava

But = Ghagha

Preposition:

About = Jaa'

Across = Dalada

After = Daa'

Against = Sahama

Among = Badaskada

At = Ladaskada

Before = A'da

Between = Saa'ma

By = Daba

Up = Mao

Down = Sao

From = Bada

In = Knaca

Out = Knacava

Off = Xasa

On = Xama

Over = Vama

Through = Vala

Under = Vasa

To = Lava

With = Bala

As = Lada

For = Vava

Of = Labada

Above = Dao

Like = Mala

Next = Wava

Pronoun:

Subject Pronoun/ Object Pronoun:

I, Me = Skada

You = Daska

It, That, This = Daya

Nonbinary pronoun/ Object pronouns = Dala

We, Us = Skada Ona

They, Them = Daska Ona

These, Those = Daya Ona

Reflexive or Intensive Pronouns "repeating word":

Myself = Skadaskada

Yourself = Daskadaska

Itself = DayaDaya

Nonbinary pronoun reflexive pronouns = Daladala

Ourselves = Skadaskada Ona

Yourselves = Daskadaska Ona

Themselves = Dayadaya Ona

Possessive Pronouns = "iba":

My, Mine = Skada Iba

Your, yours = Daska Iba

Nonbinary pronoun Possessive pronouns = Dala Iba

Its = Daya Iba

Our, ours = Skada Ona Iba

Their, Theirs = Daska Ona Iba

Not sure:

Where = Yadaskada

When = Yadaskada

Why = Yaya

What = Yaja

Who = Yadaya

How =  Knacayaja