#everyone is disappointed with me all the time and I hate myself constantly

[cupidhoons]

( 📢 ) ANNOUNCEMENT . . .

hi loves! i didn't want to make this post myself about what has been happening on blr these past few hours due to the fact that didnt want to potentially fuel the fire even more, however after thinking about it some more, i feel as though that i should speak up on behalf of my mutual and friend.

in my opinion, this started from someone checking author's and their authenticity of their writing. though the intentions are very much there and clear, it allows hate anons to rise and continue to spread towards many authors on this platform. it starts nothing but hate train after hate train to writers and it gives the community a toxic environment and it's not the first time that this has happened, either. it disappoints me to say the least that our community has hit such a low point where we constantly come at each other's throats with no regard of how the opposing party feels. not only that, but going as far as exposing and leaking a MINORS face and posting it without their knowledge at all to send hate to my mutual / friend proves my point further. its not only sick and twisted, but its also an invasion of privacy. i will not disclose who it is as it's bad enough that their face is just uploaded on a blog for everyone to see, and i will not be answering anons that has anything to due with this person.

many of you anons who send hate and think that you're remotely even doing anything do not understand how powerful and hurtful your words are. many of you guys do not understand that sending someone hate DOES NOT equal holding a person accountable and educating them at all. you all scream and shout that you want the old tumblr community back and complain how toxic it is nowadays, but none of you realize that you're part of the problem. it's pathetic and disgusting having to see stuff like this happen multiple times and never learn from it.

this is absolutely not what tumblr, especially enhablr, is about. it is not a community where we all send hate to each other and continue to bring other authors down consistently. it's a place for us to write and appreciate enhypen, it's a place for us to meet other engenes and make friends. it truly makes me upset that we've all lost the purpose of this community.

other than my thoughts on this whole thing, i can only pray and hope for the best for my dear friends who were affected in this situation. please continue to report the account and avoid interacting with them further. to my anons, please refrain from asking questions to writers and follow my request to take down the account.

[sensitivegoblin]

Vent

[criscura]

I wish I wasn't so exhausted and I could make more art.... I even planned out a whole prompt-a-day month for Saigenos/Genosai, TWICE, but the first time no one seemed like they could participate when I asked about it, and the second time I friggin lost the damned plan. I could remake it a third time, but I just....I don't know.

I've been really struggling to get along for a while, and I think if it didn't hit it off--or even if I just got really productive and it seemed like I was reaching crickets--I'd be so incredibly discouraged that it would bring me down even further. It usually takes my stuff a few months to a year to get reach, and that really doesn't do anything for me when I need the support immediately.

It's not that I don't have a billion ideas for so many different things, but my battery has been taking longer and longer to charge up and it's been running out faster and faster, and it's been like this for....a year?? Ish?? Maybe longer, I don't know.

I wish I could just stop needing so much fucking time to bounce back.....

[femmefaggot]

Gah okay I hope I can maybe sleep soon but I don't know. you do not need to read these tags is it a lot.

[chaseprice]

back in the fun zone of making myself ill with anxiety and crying every day and not remembering to eat, a week before i have an incredibly important interview that i need to study and prepare for

[feyriejane]

maybe one of these days ill stop hoping that things will be different

[foldingfittedsheets]

We had the most egregiously evil little pony horse when I was growing up. I know everyone says that. Ponies are one of the animals that truly understand how to commit crimes but she was really deeply atrocious. One time she tried to murder me. Her name was Fancy.

I feel I should slightly explain here. See, my parents bought two acres with a house and a barn and pasturage and went “We’re farmers now!” They had absolutely no idea what they were doing. And at a certain point along that journey my mom got her hands on a horse. Technically she was half pony half horse so she was this weird middle size.

Fancy belonged to a friend of hers and he showed her how to saddle Fancy. And that was it. That was all we knew about this horse. So my mom brings her home and saddles her and we decide to go for a ride on this new creature in our lives. But Fancy, being the savvy bitch she was, was far too canny for our dumb asses.

Her maiden ride went to my older brother and ended rather abruptly when the saddle slid completely sideways and my brother toppled off her, miraculously unharmed but unwilling to ever try again. This made me like Fancy somewhat, because I hated my brother.

Those familiar with horse trickery would have caught her ruse but Fancy had deliberately held her breath to make the saddle seem tight enough. But in stride she let the breath out, the saddle loosened, and my brother came toppling down. She planned that fuckup.

I was a bit more game, being a dedicated horse girl. I wanted to succeed where my loathsome brother had failed. Keep in mind: none of us had ever ridden. We had no idea what we were doing, and in the only defense I’ll ever make of that hoofed demon it was probably not pleasant to have a human flopping on her back like a sack of potatoes. But I paraded around in a circle until she scraped my leg against a fence post. I lasted longer than my brother but had to admit riding an animal radiating malice at you is not comfortable.

We didn’t really ride Fancy much after that. She was a decorative aspect to the fields. Sometimes I’d sit on her bare back while she was eating. Every so often she’d buck me off for assuming familiarity with her.

But Fany's coup de grâce took several months. Most of the pasturage had electric fence running along it to keep the livestock from testing the fences or getting a taste for freedom. My parents were constantly moving fence posts and reallocating land to different purposes which is how one of the major gates ended up with electric fence running over top. During a move the wire got left up from the last border and now it was strung over what should have been an open passage.

I was taking a ride on Fancy, living in a fantasy that I had any idea what I was doing. My mom was out working in the yard, and as she passed through she left the gate open, forgetting the wire hazard. You know who didn't forget?

Fancy.

She beelined for the open gate and I realized a second too late what her plan was. I hauled back on the reins with all my strength but she powered through, charging at the wire. If I'd caught on sooner I could have tipped forward and probably cleared it.

It was roughly chest height. But she was too savvy, keeping a slow pace right up until the passage, and I didn't have time to react. The thought of getting electrocuted sent me down into a terrified backward limbo, desperately trying to flatten myself along her back.

Her assassination almost worked. But instead of beheading me the wire caught under my chin, pressing back into my neck like a garrote. The only good news was that the wire wasn't live, but I was still in terrible danger. I squealed and wiggled and managed to twist my neck enough that the wire scraped over my face instead of pressing deeper. Once we were through Fancy stopped and turned to regard me, disappointed that her murder had failed. My neck was bleeding but my head remained attached.

My mother was absolutely terrified and I was pretty shaken myself. We unsaddled Fancy for the last time, as full on attempts on my life were a bit more than I was willing to bear for the sake of pretending to be a fantasy hero on an epic journey. My neck still has a faint scar from her homicidal tendencies.

Fancy got to remain a decorative horse for many years after that, free of our attempts to ride her. Her last torment was when my mother decided to try to breed her to achieve an animal that was less interested in murder.

But Fancy, true to form, brutally attacked the stallion sent to service her, even when hopped up on horny hormones. There would be no foals from Fancy, and her saga ended when we sold her to another unlucky soul.

[dsireland86]

I physically can't stop picturing Folio bending me over his drums and fucking me until im dumb

Shit. Like this thought hasn't ever crossed my mind before....

Drummers Always Hit It Harder

@philomenie @supersquirrel1996 @foliosgirl @angelmarie89 @fadingintothegrey @theanarchymuse95 @thisbicc @lma1986 @dominuslunae @shayzillaaaa @fadingintothegrey @an0mallly @alwaysfightforwhoyouare @mrsnoahsebastian @flowery-mess @iloveyoutodeathbutimdrowning @stardustsirenmelody @romanreigns-supreme @anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey

The venue was empty at eleven at night. While everyone else was either sleeping, playing video games, or chilling, I chose to get a head start on setting up merch stuff for the following day. Actually, I was sick of being surrounded by five guys who were constantly getting on my nerves with all their immature antics and conversations. I needed a girl moment. The sound of a door opening and closing startles me. I didn't think anyone knew I was here. I’m surprised to see Folio as he comes into view a few minutes later, holding two cans of beer.

"You want one?" I smile, knowing he already knows the answer. Opening it, he hands it to me. "Why do you work so much?" I shrug, sitting the can down after taking a long sip. "I think you need to get laid." My head turns up and I stare wide-eyed at Folio. “What the hell, Folio! Where did that thought come from?” "From watching you all the time. You work and sleep. That’s it.”

The twinkle in his soft brown eyes makes my heart flutter and his confession of watching me makes my panties instantly wet. It's no secret I have the biggest crush on the band's drummer. I have for a while. Matt, my brother, told Folio that if he ever touched me thought, he was a dead man, and to my disappointment, Folio listened. It's not as if I was willing to throw myself out to anyone; just Nick. Only Nick.

I don't know if he knows how much I like him, but there are nights when he's the one helping me get myself off in a desperate attempt to satisfy a natural hunger and need for the opposite sex. In my mind, Folio's the only one worthy of getting between my legs

"Are you okay?" He grins at me and I almost lose it. "Um, yeah, I'm fine," I lie, taking another drink from my can. I hear his adorable chuckle and it takes me a moment to get my head back into what I was doing. "Do you want some help? I don't even know what you're doing?"

He comes over to me as I reach for my drink, beating me to it instead. As both our hands wrap around the can, our fingers touch, sending shivers all over my entire body. I smile, looking up at Nick only to find he's already staring at me. There's a look in his eyes I swear I've never seen before. It's dark, alluring and needy. Clearing my throat, I watch his lips curl up into a grin.

"First, you show up here when I'm completely alone, telling me I need to get laid and now you're asking me if I need help? Help with what exactly, Folio? Getting laid or setting up merch?” Nick’s speechless for a moment, fighting the urge to laugh. “You know you're skating on thin ice,right? Matt says you're a dead man if you and I,"

"I don't fucking care what your brother thinks or says, y/n. We're grown adults."

My abdomen clenches tight, the tingling sensation running through my sex is maddening to the point I think I actually whimper. The same overwhelming need to suffocate myself in Folio is taking over everything thought at the moment.

"So, what are you saying, Nick? I’m supposed to tell my brother to fuck off?”

He chugs the rest of his beer, tossing the empty can into the tiny trash can against the wall. He comes over to me, his presence instantly making my knees weak. My thighs tighten together as the unmistakable feeling of how wet just the thought of Nick makes me, soaks my panties.

He stares at me, his dark gaze tearing me apart already. I'm at this mercy at this point. "Will you hate me and swear to never speak to me again if I tell you the truth?" At first I think he's joking, but then I quickly realize he's serious. "No," I shake my head. "No I won't." Folio relaxes and holds his hand out to me. "Come with me." I don't question. I take his hand, feeling that same intense spark spread through me.

He leads me through the empty venue floor, through the dark, around the side of the stage and up the back steps to the stage floor. Besides the small light coming from his phone flash light and the soft glow from down below in the merch table area, we're surrounded by darkness. His kit is the only thing on the stage, centered perfectly in the middle of a large drum rug beneath our feet.

"Nick, what are we doing up here?" I'm nervous. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. Not out of fear, but out of intense anticipation. "Wait here," he says quietly, setting his phone down on the stool.

I'm left alone to look around the vacant venue, thinking how crazy it is that by this time tomorrow night, this place is going to be jammed packed with people, enjoying the utter chaos the guys are going to bring. Dim lights come one above, giving off just enough light to see what's around me. Moments later, Folio returns to the stage, finding me instantly.

He doesn't waste any time, snatching me up in his arms and pulling me into him. He's already hard enough for me to feel him through the zipper of his jeans, pressed against my abdomen. My breath gets caught in the back of my throat as his arms snake around my waist and slip down over the curves of my ass, pushing our bodies closer together. My heart is pounding in my chest, loud enough that I'm sure he can hear. But as nervous as I feel, this feels right. Folio's arms around me feel right. His hands on me feels right. His body pressed against mine feels right.

"Are you going to answer my question?" I ask, voice barely above a whisper. I hook my fingers in the belt loops of his jeans, tugging on him lightly. "Yeah, I will, but I need to be sure of a few things first." "Like what?" My brows draw together in confusion. Folio's eyes dart over my face, trailing up and down before landing on my neck. "I want to kiss you," he says, eyes finding mine again. "Then kiss me."

In an instant Folio’s lips are on mine, his tongue diving deep into my mouth. I can taste the alcohol as it slides over mine, drawing out small little whimpers and cries from me. The connection between us is better than I ever thought it could be; wild, needy and so fucking hot, causing me to becomeI’m a panting wet mess for Nick and willing to do whatever he wants. What was supposed to be a quick try turns into a deep need. Folio slips his hands around my face, cupping it gently while my hands travel to his waist, gripping his black Harley shirt and tugging on him. The world around us is suddenly blurred, slipping away quickly. I have to hold on to his wrists to keep from slipping away with it as the sensation and realization of what's happening roars to life inside me.

"Ugh, fuck," Folio curses against my lips while staggering, trying to keep the two of us from falling over. His hands slip under my shirt and slide up my back, undoing the clasp of my bra, I let him, but not before pulling back to look at him.

"You want the truth?" he asks, hoarsely, licking his lips. I want his tongue again, in my mouth, on my body, and sucking between my legs. The tendrils of hair falling over his forehead only add to the irresistibleness of his strong body holding me tightly. I run my hands up the back of his neck and into his newly cut hair, sighing at finally feeling it between my fingers and nod in response to his question.

"I like you, a fucking lot, and I know you like me too. I hear you at night; when everyone else is asleep, and you think you're being quiet."

I lower my face in embarrassment.

"Are you thinking about me when you fuck yourself?" he asks, lifting my chin as he reaches down and palms my sweet spot. "Oh, god, Nick," I whine, gripping his forearms. "Do you?" "Yes," I weakly confess. That smile. Fuck. "I thought so."

Nick kisses me again, hungrily, rocking his pelvis against me in hopes of easing the frustration. His lips trail over my jaw and down my neck, where he licks my skin before sucking on it. Gasping from sheer panic I pull his face away.

"No hickeys! Matt will kick your ass," I scold him, but see the playful glint in his eyes.

"He'd kick my ass regardless, especially if he knew the things I think about when it comes to you and me,” slipping his hand inside my leggings. I know I should stop him, but I don't want to. I want whatever he wants, whatever he wants to give.

“Spread your legs for me.” I do as he tells me, holding on to him for balance. Folio doesn’t waste a second getting what he wants. Pushing my panties to the side, he runs his finger up in between my soaked folds, inserting a finger, knuckle deep into me. He pumps his finger, in and out slowly, twisting the further in he goes. I hold back a choked moan, swallowing the cries of how fucking good this feels. 

“You like this?” I nod, lowering my forehead against his chest. “Fuck you’re so wet. You don’t know how many times I’ve gotten myself off to the idea of being inside you.” I gasp when Nick pushes further up, hitting that certain spot “Nick!” I cry, grabbing his biceps and digging my nails into them.

A feral growl emerges from deep inside his chest. Quiet curses fall beneath Nick’s breath as he continues his slow, burning pace of fucking me with his fingers. It’s unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. It’s like Nick already knows everything about my body and how to please me. He grabs my ass and pushes my pussy harder into his hand, forcing me to grind down harder on it “Fuck if I’m not hard for you,” he whispers, his breath just shaky as mine and I can tell he’s struggling with composure just as much as I am. “I never thought I’d get this hard just from watching you ride my hand. Holy shit!” I clench and tighten around his hand, biting the inside of my cheek and lips in order to suppress the moans dying to escape. I can’t get to Nick’s hand the way I want to, so I yank my leggings down, exposing his hand buried deep inside me. I look down, watching his fingers thrust in and out of me, moaning over how fucking good it feels. I grab his wrist, keeping him right where I want him while I help guide his hand harder into me. 

“That’s it baby, feel me in you. Ride my hand baby girl,” Folio coos, praising me. His soft kisses on my forehead and the side of my head melt every worry and anxious thought away. 

“You’re fucking beautiful, y/n, you know that don’t you.” I shake my head, whining

Folio’s hand starts to move faster, pushing through my inner walls harder than before. The much welcomed assault is making the coiled heat tighter and tighter in my belly. 

“Well you are; so fucking beautiful. I want you. All of you. I want to give you all of me. Every single piece.”

The pressure of his thumb circling my clit draws out a slew of choice words.

“Fuck Nick, oh god, I’m going to cum, I can…. Mmmm, fuck! Don’t stop, please!” I moan.

Folio drops to his knees, forcing my legs further apart, and presses his mouth right onto my clit, almost making me scream. His sucks my bud, pulling it between his teeth, then swirls his tongue around my clit, while he continues to fuck me with his fingers. He holds my gaze as I shamelessly begin grinding on his face, feeling him hum in approval as I do so. He builds speed inside me, determined to watch me fall apart right here like this, all over his fingers, all over his mouth.

“Nick! Oh god, Nick, I’m about to cum! Baby, fuck!” I scream, grabbing Folio’s hair and holding his head right where I need it to stay as he works me through my orgasm. I feel his teeth skim my folds as I thrust my pussy against his tongue, forcing him to lick and swallow everything

My legs are trembling. I grip Nick’s shoulders as he stands up, wiping his mouth on his shirt.

“You good?” he asks, helping me balance while I step out of my leggings. Breathlessly, I nod my head pressing my hands on his now bare chest as he helps me out of my shirt. The soft, easy feeling of Folio’s hands running down my sides and over my bottom makes me realize I'm completely naked, standing before him. 

“Hey, look at me.”

Raising my head, I meet Folio’s gaze, feeling my face heat up. 

“You're beautiful.” 

He kisses the tip of my nose and then my forehead, leading me over to his drum kit and forcing me gently to bend over his biggest and tallest floor tom. I suck in a huge breath from the sudden coldness against my breasts and stomach. I lay there, body shaking, from over stimulation and fear that we’re going to get caught. 

"I wanna fuck you, just like this. Harder and faster than necessary. I wanna think about your breast flush against my toms and the sounds you make when I fuck you, pounding into you sweet little cunt until you can't walk, every single time I play.  

Nick presses me down with his hand on the middle of my back, running his hand over my ass.

"You have such a perfect ass, god damn!"

His hand comes down hard on my ass causing me to cry out a shrilled moan. “Fuck, Nick,” my words coming out through a choked sob. 

"Do you want me to fuck you, sweetheart?"

I hear his jeans unzip and fall to the stage floor where he kicks them to the side.

Despite the pain on my bottom, I nod quickly, desperately aching for Nick to fill me.

"I need words. Do you want me to fuck you baby?"

"Yes, Nick, please. Hurry up and fuck me."

"I won't be gentle."

"I'm not asking you to be."

Folio grabs my hips and forces my legs apart with his knee, aligning the tip of his cock with my entrance, probing it in and out a few times. The pressure that he puts on my folds alone, gently rutting against me, has me whimpering.

“Baby girl, you’re so fucking wet, it’s dripping into my tip, holy shit,” he mutters, still rutting against me. He sinks a little further in and already I can tell he’s going to fill me completely just from the slight stretch of my walls. 

“Fuck, honey, you’re really fucking tight,” Nick sighs, gripping my hips harder. “Are you ready for me?” “Yes. Just fill me, Nick. Stretch me, fill me, do whatever, just please let me feel you,” I beg. Without a word, he enters me, pushing into me with one quick thrust after another, sinking further down into me each time. Biting my tongue and the side of my cheeks to keep from screaming out, our muffled needy moans and grunts fill the air around us as Nick fills me completely, his thickness gliding right through my walls as if his cock was made for me.

"Motherfucker," Folio groans, throwing his head back. With his hands locked in a tight grip on my hips, he works me open, stretching me to fit his hard, thick cock that he barely gives me enough time to adjust to. His skin slaps against my skin as I grip the side of the tom the best I can while he fucks me at a brutal pace like a savaged dog. With every grunt, every deep and needy growl, we're shaking his entire drum kit, making cymbals crash together and creating sounds that hopefully drown out the sounds I’m making.

Nick’s hand snakes around my throat and lightly squeezes it, lifting me up a little. It has me arching my back and pushing my ass out a little more, creating a new angle for his cock to go in at.

"F-fuck, Nick, baby, you're gonna make me cum again," I cry out, moaning louder the closer I get. My skin is on fire, as Nick fucks me to towards the precipice of my climax. His hands find my breast, cupping them entirely to fill his hands. He massages them, rolling them around in his hands and squeezing their nipples so hard I can feel it in my pussy.

“I want you, y/n,” Folio confesses, panting as he slows his pace for a moment. “I want you to be my girl. I don’t want to share you with anyone else. I want this every day, every night with you. Stay with me baby.”

He kisses my shoulder, dragging his lips down the spine of my back and making goosebumps cover my skin. Nick's confession hits me right in the heart. I've wanted him for so long, that hearing him say this makes me cry.

"Yes," I cry through a whimper. "Fuck yes, I’m yours. I’ve always been you, Nick.” “Yeah? Really? You will?” The excitement in his voice is unmistakable. “I will. I am.”

Without a warning, Folio brings his hand down on my ass again, officially claiming it as his. It’s enough to snap the building tension inside me, as I throw my hand up and cover my mouth to silence the loud scream as my second orgasm crashes through me. Folio continues pounding into me, never letting up even though I’ve long abandoned my hand over my mouth and allow every word and sound to roll right off my tongue.

“Just like that, sweetheart, keep moaning like for me,” he encourages me. Droplets of sweat drip onto my back as he grunts, thrusting in and out a few more times before finally reaching the edge.

"Fuck! Fuck, baby, I'm about to cum. I wanna cum inside you,” he pants.

"Do it. I'm good," I assure him.

"You sure? Shit your pussy feels so fucking good! Fuck it!"

With one more sharp grunt, Folio cums, filling my entire insides with his release. My body is shaking so badly that I think I might collapse.

"Holy shit," Folio groans, falling over me gently, covering me with his body.

"Nick, my arms are about to give out," I whisper.

"Okay, come here, I've got you," he says breathlessly, slowly pulling out of me. Gentl, he pulls me back against him, lowering us to the floor, and collecting me entirely in his arms and into his lap. I cuddle deep into him, not at all caring about how hot and sweaty he is.

"Here, use this," he tells me, handing me his shirt.

"What's this for?" I look up at him and melt over how adorably cute he is.

"Um, well given the fact that your thighs aren't wet, I'd say you might need to,"

"Oh god! Yeah, okay," I laugh shyly, taking his shirt and shoving it between my thighs. The moment I let go, the intense pressure inside me begins to fade.

"Come here," Folio coos, pulling me tight against him. His heart is pounding as we sit quietly in the middle of the stage that will be a chaotic mess by tomorrow night.

"That was intense."

"Just a little. I'd say you hit pretty hard."

Folio snickers, running his hands through his hair.

"Drummers always hit it harder."

"This drummer always likes hitting you harder," he teases, kissing my forehead.

I laugh, shaking my head at his corny joke.

“You gonna let me hit that ass harder every time I fuck you?” 

I look up at him and he leans over and kisses me.

“Mmm, maybe. You’ll just have to be a good boy and wait and see.” 

“Fuck, you’re such a tease.” 

We sit in silence for a little while, listening to the sound of our hearts returning to their normal beating pattern. I love it here; being completely alone with Nick, safe in his arms.

"Were you serious when you said yes? You'll be mine."

I smile against his chest that I lightly pepper with kisses.

"Were you serious when you asked me to be?"

I gaze up at him, my eyelids heavy with tiredness. Folio grins, caressing my face gently, before laying a soft kiss on my lips.

"A thousand percent."

"Then I'm a thousand percent serious, too."

We eventually dress, cuddle for a little more before walking off the stage after Folio turns off the light. He looks back up at it, smiling widely.

"What?"

"I'm not going to be able to play clearly tomorrow after tonight. All I'm gonna be thinking about is you bent over my floor tom, ass naked.” 

"Oh, really?" I giggle, throwing my arms around his neck, freely kissing him before we leave the venue.

"Yeah, really. And the way that perfectly little round ass looked after being smacked a few times."

"Yeah, which by the way hurt, a lot."

"I didn't hear you complaining when I did it."

I glared at Nick.

"That's not the point."

"Well get used to it. This ass is mine now. I'll smack it, bit it and fuck it whenever I want."

"Hmm, I think I could get used to that."

"Yeah, me too," Folio grins, giving me another kiss.

"So, what are we going to do about my brother?" I ask, addressing the monkey in the room.

"Don't worry about that. I'll take care of telling Matt."

The door to a mechanics room suddenly opens and my brother emerges, holding a box of cables. I freeze instantly as pure panic takes hold of my chest.

"There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere!" Matt exclaims, setting the box down.

"What have you been doing over here? Where were you just now?" His gaze shifts from me, over to Folio, then back to me. Then he notices my hand laced with Folio's, and I watch Matt’s face fall a thousand feet.

"Y/N, why are you and Folio holding hands?”

Fuck.

[redclercs]

DELICATE✰ CHARLES LECLERC.

INTERLUDE: this is why we can't have nice things.

�� the one where everybody's waiting to see the fall out.

warnings: this is basically like the INTRO chapter with all media, we're going to pretend publications and broadcast timings are not mistaken or fake, okay? ok. am i myself if i don't mention taylor swift in every chapter? no. foul language.

masterlist ✢ next

By Tom Gill // June 23rd

Vic Presley confirms y/n hasn't reached out to her even after Vic called asked her to in a publication a few days ago.

"I think she has blocked my number by now," Presley said, "I am devastated by this. I didn't think it was like her to discard relationships so easily."

Presley and y/ln have been friends since 2020, when they met at the opening of the SENSE Club in downtown Los Angeles and quickly became inseparable.

"y/n really was— is my best friend. I miss her and I want her to come back to me."

Vic Presley also commented on y/n's split from Aidan Kim in her own way: "I hate that she hurt Aidan. I was not aware they had so many problems, that's definitely the kind of stuff you tell your best friend."

y/n was spotted just a week ago with alleged (and constantly denied) boyfriend, Charles Leclerc on a stroll around Central Park. Victoria Presley couldn't help but speak her mind on this.

"y/n has changed so much since she met that guy. I met him in Miami and Monaco, he's not one of the good ones. He's managing to isolate her from everyone who loves her."

Once again, Victoria urges y/n to contact her so they can rekindle their friendship. "I am not angry at her, disappointed maybe. But I will always have my arms open for her."

SEE ALSO:

→ Victoria Presley and Mia Kim collab in new project promoting Presley Beauty.

→ y/n y/ln, a disaster waiting to happen.

→ Aidan Kim is 'almost done' with debut solo album

By Paul Dean // June 28th

Aidan Kim has been in the spotlight since 2012, when he debuted as a member of boyband phenomenon Star-5 with their hit single "End Of The Day". After the band's dissolution in late 2018 due to creative differences between the members and rumored jealousy disputes that included Aidan himself, the Korean-American superstar decided to pursue a career in acting, in aims of expanding his horizons.

'Supercut' in 2019 was the start of a a succesful career followed by '1922' (2021) and 'Conversations with Friends' (2022) plus the series 'Crimes of the Academy' (2022) before Netflix decided to cancel it.

While it is true that 'Supercut' was a box office hit and sent Aidan Kim and co-star—and former partner—into a whole new level of stardom, Aidan Kim might be regretting ever making that movie.

"Supercut holds a special place in my heart," Aidan commented, politely. "It was my first real movie." Of course Aidan doesn't count the "3D Concert Experience" he starred with his other four bandmates as a real movie. "But I carry the consequences of making Supercut with me to this day."

The whole world is aware of such consequences, as y/n y/ln is keen on having the last word when it comes to the breakup from Kim. It wasn't enough to leave him humiliated by turning his marriage proposal down.

"Someone was looking out for me that night, I think," Aidan has tried his best to let go of such bitter memories by turning them into something positive. "At the end of the day, I'm glad y/n said no. I can't imagine spending the rest of my life with her. You're witnessing how unstable she is."

"It's quite shocking honestly," Aidan Kim didn't expect his ex-girlfriend to act like this. "I helped her however I could. Talked to producers, casting agents and journalists to give her a shot. And she says I never did anything for her."

Kim couldn't help but take the chance to refer to his ex's new lover: "But I've moved on. And I hope she does the same soon. If I were Charles Leclerc, I'd be worried my new girlfriend is thinking about her ex-boyfriend so often."

Lastly, Aidan teased his upcoming album, "I've worked very hard on it. I missed making music and I hope you'll like this new sound I'm trying after leaving Star-5's commercial music behind."

"The thing about music, is that it lets you tell your side of the story too. I hope you support a man doing this the same way you root for Taylor Swift, because double-standards are so 'in' right now."

SEE ALSO:

→ Mia Kim, the talented sister of Aidan Kim, set to make big screen debut.

→ Were Mia Kim and Victoria Presley mocking y/n y/ln in new Youtube Video?

→ Mia Kim: "y/n should have kept her mouth shut, there's still shit to be exposed about her."

FROM THE DREW BARRYMORE SHOW — JULY 6TH

[Y/N]: ❝(...) What matters to me right now, is that people now I am nothing of what they're calling me. I am not perfect, nobody is. But I have never cheated on a partner or used someone else as a 'toy' and most importantly, I built my own career.❞

[Y/N]: ❝It gets exhausting, you hear things about yourself you never even thought possible. It could be laughable if it wasn't so cruel❞

[Y/N]: ❝My relationship ended in February, but I believe it was over way before that. I acted in a way that was not fair to my ex-partner nor to myself, and I expressed my regrets about it. He had the right to not accept my apology, but not to make stuff up about the whole situation.❞

[Y/N]: ❝He's feeding his ego, he's a man, after all. But doing it at the expense of my work and my reputation is disgusting. I want one producer or casting agent to come forward and say they gave me a role thanks to my ex-boyfriend's input, just one.❞

[Y/N]: ❝I have surrounded myself with different people. They have been a great support system, always motivating me, and holding me back when I'm about to do something stupid. This also means I have left some people out of what's going on with me, and it's for the best.❞

[Y/N]: ❝Taylor Swift, bless her soul, has given me a lot of advice. She's the sweetest person ever and since the same guy that is trying to drag me has gone after her in a few interviews, she wants this to be over as much as I do. I think he made a mistake by messing with Taylor too.❞

[Y/N]: ❝Rumors will keep running, but I am finally at peace with knowing who I am and who I can trust. But those 'sources' should know my patience is running out.❞

By Jenny Highland // July 20th

Mia Kim and Victoria Presley are the hottest topic right now, but not for the reasons both influencers wish, as they are in trouble!

Both Los Angeles locals have received a 'Cease and Desist' letter from recovering actress y/n y/ln this week, per her team's advice. This was confirmed by both Presley and Kim on Twitter, saying they are 'flabbergasted' that y/n is accusing them of defamation.

While y/n is far from gaining her place back in the public's heart, we are not blind to what Victoria and Mia have done for the past month, riding the wave to get views and followers talking about their shared time with y/n. Who has every right to ask them to stop, as she has done in several interviews throughout the month.

For many people, this makes it more evident that it was either Presley or Kim who contacted tabloids to get their five minutes of fame and sink y/n deeper.

Actions have consequences for everyone, and if y/n decided to pick this fight at this point in her downfall/rerise/wherever it is that we are with her, it's because she knows she can win, right?

─── team principal radio: ❝thank you for reading! please let me know your thoughts! I know I'm ending your patience with this slow burn thing but I promise you we're getting there! Charles is back next chapter and you'll see haha. again, your interactions mean the world to me and i'm sorry if sometimes i don't reply to your comments, i'm just awkward but i love you all♡❞

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[torturedblue]

Part 2 of endless Disaster Twin parallels, the not so fun version

Part 1, the fun version

Considering the series shows Donnie coming off as autistic, he’s portrayed that way much more in fan art and fanfics, etc. We often see it in fan portrayals through an aversion to touch or his senses getting overwhelmed, etc. In the show I noticed Leo actually has a consistent aversion to anything with a gross texture too: like in the first episode when they’re all sliding down Draxum’s vines and he’s tripping over himself, the only one bothered by them “I hate this!”

He also starts flailing in a panic after a worm jumps on his face (and do I even need to bring up how the texture of worms ain’t all that enjoyable let alone on your face), recoils when that evil Hidden City massage guy pours hair serum all over his head, and he’s the most visibly repulsed when Raph gets trash all over them in the beginning of Battle Nexus: New York. So on multiple occasions he comes off as pretty texture or germ averse as well

Both also have insecurity issues about their role to the team: “If mystics can do everything I can but better then why would you guys even need me?” “I’m nothing without them!”

Ironically, in Many Unhappy Returns, Splinter thinks Leo doesn’t know what he’s doing and isn’t taking the mission seriously, saying he should’ve brought Purple. But in the same episode during fights with Shredder Donnie’s seen texting on his phone half of the time. Which is also very parallel to Leo making quips in the beginning instead of helping fight like Donnie and the others

In that same fashion, Donnie’s also goofiest when everyone’s acting serious in Insane in the Mama Train, while Leo’s the unserious one in the following episodes. Another role reversal from their norm

The show also portrays these two as feeling the most affected by Splinter’s history of emotionally distant parenting. Donnie constantly talks about his unmet need for parent-aged-adult approval/validation, and Leo shows his struggle in a more Leo-like way, constantly finding father figure connections in other people like Jupiter Jim and The Dunk. He also rejects/roasts Splinter a lot too, which seems more like a form of overcompensation; acting like he doesn’t totally need or crave Splinter’s attention. The exact opposite of Donnie’s methods. “No! I’m not going back to what’s-his-rat.”

“He’s my all-time favorite actor/role model/father figure!”

“That eccentric billionaire, who was kind of a surrogate father figure to me, has shown me a version of myself I don’t like.”

Leo acts like he doesn’t pine for his affection. I’m sure he sees the way Donnie openly, desperately goes after it when it’s offered and then gets crushed even harder with disappointment (ahem Turtle-dega Nights). No way Leo’s opening himself up to that. I mean come on how sad is the moment when Splinter says they should do something together and Mikey is so eager to jump on the opportunity before it gets taken away, only for Donnie to have to pull him aside and remind him it’s usually some kind of trick or he’s likely possessed? Just for Mikey to immediately respond, “You’re right, I always fall for this!” Ouch. Honestly considering Mikey’s empathy and emotional maturity in mind, the reason both he and Raph seem to handle Splinter’s lack of attention so well is probably also because in addition Raph became a second parent himself, and taking on that role like Splinter, he knows from his own experience that even though their dad doesn’t show it in the ways they wish he would, of course he loves them and what he does do to take care of them as a parent proves that

I think the parallels and direct contrasts between how Leo and Donnie show their dissatisfaction in their relationship with Splinter is probably the most developed and interesting one to me 💔

I mean Leo’s the only one who would actually say something like this to Splinter and you can’t tell me there’s not some deep-seated resentment in the way he looks and the way he says it…

So yeah. There’s the sad edition of Disaster Twins parallels. Let’s all cry together 😃

[babydollmarauders]

SNOW ON THE BEACH — LUKE HUGHES

luke hughes x fem!reader

part of the Midnights Fic List.

summary: in which shy, introverted y/n meets extroverted frat boy Luke and he takes a liking to her, even though everyone thinks they’re an odd match.

specific lyrics: “it’s like snow on the beach, weird but fuckin’ beautiful.”

notes: i really wanted frat boy Luke in order to really have them contrast each other, but i also didn’t wanna take away the hockey element or split up the UMich boys, so… Hockey House is a frat now. also, i don’t think i like this one, i feel like i could’ve done so much better but like halfway through writing this, my brain short-circuited and i couldn’t think of anything.

the library is packed. i should’ve expected it, with it being so close to finals week and all, but it still disappointed me nonetheless.

this was my favorite place to escape and read when my obnoxious dorm-mate had her friends over. it was quiet and usually pretty empty. so i could usually sit and read for a few hours until i was sure none of Alex’s friends were still there. none of them knew how to use an inside voice, and with our dorm just being one big room, they constantly thought that meant i would want to join in on their conversations. which were mainly gossip about the hockey team. so, coming in and finding every space in the library full, ruined my plans. i don’t want to go back to my dorm and be subjected to them debating which UMich hockey player has the cutest smile, so i guess that leaves me with one option; find a seat.

i let loose a sigh and scan the room for who seems to be the quietest. i hate small talk. i find a table with only one person sat at it, a guy with one airpod in and a textbook laid out in front of him, and decide that’s the one. i walk over, fully planning on just motioning to ask if i can sit, but when i come to a stop in front of the table and he doesn’t even look up, i know i’ll have to speak up. i take a deep breath before i let out the quietest ‘excuse me’ known to man. the boy still doesn’t look up from the textbook, and i don’t blame him, he probably didn’t even hear me.

“excuse me.” i say slightly louder. this time the boy finally looks up, but i’m struck on what to say. suddenly, all the mentally rehearsed words have left my mind. this may be the cutest boy i have ever seen.

“can i help you?” his voice is soft. not judgmental or rude like what i would’ve expected from him after i came over and interrupted his studying just to end up staring at him. i shake myself out of my thoughts and give a light nod.

“do you mind if i sit here?” i motion towards a chair diagonal from his. “everywhere else is full.”

the boy nods.

“oh, yeah, go ahead.” i give him a small and grateful smile before depositing myself in the chair. pulling my book and a few highlighters out from my tote bag before hanging it up on the back of my chair. i open my book to where i left off, setting the bookmark on the table. but before i can start reading, the boy speaks up again.

“sorry to interrupt but, you’re reading that for a class?” he asks. for some reason, i take a look at the front cover of my romance novel before talking.

“oh. no. i’m reading this for fun.” i tell him. my voice is quite, my tone soft.

“oh okay. i guess i just assumed you were here to study since everyone else is.” he lets out a breathy chuckle as he shrugs.

“no.” i shake my head before explaining- “i’m here to get away from my dorm-mate and her friends. they’re too loud for me to focus and they keep trying to get me to weigh in on their debates.”

“what are they debating?” he asks.

“well, when i left it was which Wolverines hockey player has the cutest smile.” i tell him, rolling my eyes.

“and who did you say?” he seems curious, and almost amused.

“no one.” i shrug. “i don’t know what any of them look like.”

he lets out a quiet laugh.

“well you know what one of them looks like now.” he says. my brows form a v and i’m about to ask him to clarify but then it hits me. oh. he’s a hockey player.

“oh.” is my awkward response.

“i’m Luke Hughes.” he smiles at me. well, i have my answer for the next debate now.

“i’m y/n.” i tell him. “nice to meet you.”

“you too.” he finally looks back down at his textbook, and i’m relieved to be free of any more small talk.

the next hour or so passes by silently, and i manage to finish the last 75 pages of my book without any interruptions. i close my book, and put my stuff back in my tote bag, at the same time that an alarm goes off on Luke’s phone. he turns it off and starts packing his stuff up as well. we stand simultaneously, and he sends me a quick amused expression. my steps to the exit are slow, and Luke falls in line with me, slowing his steps to match mine.

“my frat is having a party on Friday, you should come. collect some more data for the next debate.” he smirks, and i rack my brain for a nice way to say that i don’t do parties.

“i’m not really a party person.” i say.

“then what kind of person are you?” he asks. his eyes fall down my body before he looks back up to my face.

“um, the reading type, i guess? i don’t really like doing the whole people thing.” i confess. he nods in understanding.

“well, if you change your mind, come. and if you need to escape your dorm again, i’ll be here tomorrow, same time.” he winks before splitting off, walking the opposite direction as me.

my entire walk to my dorm, i rethink every word we shared, wondering if i sounded stupid. i mean, i would assume not because he didn’t seem put off by me, but who knows, maybe he’s just a good actor. he was really cute though, gosh i hope i didn’t unknowingly embarrass myself.

opening the door to my dorm, i’m disappointed to see that Alex and her friends are still here. they don’t usually hang out this long on a wednesday evening. and i have to hold back an eye roll when i realize that it doesn’t sound they’ve changed their topic of conversation at all since i’ve left. logically, i’m sure it has and they just circled back onto this topic, but i honestly wouldn’t be surprised if it was all they were talking about the past couple hours.

“y/n! you didn’t answer before you left, so please, settle this for us!” one of them, Jess, says as she spots me. “which UMich hockey player has the best smile? i say Ethan Edwards, Alex says Rutger McGroarty, and Becca says Mark Estapa!”

my mind wanders back to the boy i was conversing with not too long ago and before i can think twice, i blurt out- “Luke Hughes.”

“you think so?” Becca asks “i feel like he rarely ever smiles. it’s so hard to get one out of him.”

“really?” i ask. they must be exaggerating, he smiled at me earlier. although, i think he was just being friendly.

“yeah! i have a class with him this semester and i swear he frowned at me when i tried to introduce myself. i mean, he’s still hot, but still.” Becca replies, shrugging.

“oh.” i say. what does that mean? if he wasn’t friendly to her when they met, then why would he smile and be friendly with me?

“oooh y/n is blushing! i think she likes him!” Alex coos.

“i don’t like him.” i turn away, letting my hair fall in front of me to hide my apparently pink cheeks. i set my tote bag on my desk chair and slip my shoes off before taking a seat on my bed.

“i think she does!” Jess joins in on the teasing, and now i’m regretting having left the solitude of the library. “a bit of an odd match, you two.”

i’m not sure whether i should be offended by her statement or not, but for some reason i am. i don’t plan on dating him, but hearing her say we wouldn’t match together makes me feel insulted.

“what is that supposed to mean?” i retort.

“she didn’t mean anything by it.” Alex defends her friend. “she’s just saying, Luke is an extrovert, he likes to party and let loose, he has a lot of friends. and you’re… the opposite. i don’t think i’ve seen you go out once in the entire school year that we’ve shared a room. you keep to yourself. like, we’ve been trying to include you so that you’re not lonely, but you always say you’re going to the library. you and Luke just don’t seem like you’d fit together.”

“i didn’t ask you to include me. i like being alone. people are draining.” i say. i don’t like their pity on me. it’s not like i don’t have friends. i do. we’re just all introverted and our hangouts between classes is enough social interaction for us. we don’t care for going out partying on weekends or anything. if we do want to hang out on the weekend, we’ll usually do a movie night at Casey and Ellie’s apartment. but the way Alex explains it makes my life sound pitiful, and it makes me defensive, so before i can stop myself, i speak again. “and for your information, i’m going to a party on friday.”

the trio gasps, as though this information is scandalous.

“oh my god, are you going the party at Hockey House?” Becca asks. ‘hockey house’, the nickname for the frat house in which most of the UMich hockey players live. the frat is comprised solely of hockey players, so i guess the nickname makes sense. “for Luke?”

“yes, i’m going to the party. but no, not for Luke.” i tell them. why did i say i was going to that party? i hate parties. i even already told Luke so.

**

friday evening has come, and i can’t even back out of going to the party because Alex, Becca, and Jess have decided we should carpool together. so now i’m stuck in this commitment.

when Becca and Jess arrive to pick Alex and i up, i become aware that i’m the only one not wearing a dress or skirt of some kind. instead i’m dressed casual, in jeans and a tank top, paired with an oversized cardigan to keep me protected from the evening breeze. but it’s too late to change now.

arriving to the party is a hassle on its own, with the girls fussing over whether they look good enough to bag a hockey player, and having a hard time finding a parking spot. and when we finally walk into the party, i immediately want to leave. music is blasting from multiple speakers, everyone is holding a stereotypical red solo cup, and the house is packed. i’m quickly forgotten about by the other girls, them walking off to get drinks and stop to have conversations with a few of the hockey guys. i still don’t actually know any of the players names, besides Luke.

i scan the room, but i’m not entirely sure what i’m looking for. or who. all my friends are probably laying in bed right now. before i can even figure out who i’m looking for, i hear my name being called.

“y/n!” i turn my head towards the voice and find a guy from my ‘intro to business’ class coming towards me. i think his name is Dylan, but it seems like everyone just calls him Duke. “never seen you at a party before!”

“yeah, it’s not usually my scene.” i tell him with an awkward smile.

“i figured. you give me more of the ‘reading in my room’ vibes.” he laughs.

“am i that obvious?” i joke. he laughs again and nods.

“you look pretty out of place. let me introduce you to some of my friends.” he takes ahold of my wrist and pulls me towards a group of guys in the kitchen. i’m immediately uncomfortable, they all seem intimidating, and i’m not great around boys. we get closer to the group and Duke begins to introduce me. “guys, this is-”

“y/n! you came!” i look over to see Luke, and i can’t help the smile that breaks out on my face when i see his wide grin. he slings an arm around my shoulders, and Duke’s jaw drops.

“THIS is the y/n you’ve been talking about? the one from the library?” Duke asks. i can feel my face heating up. he’s been talking about me? i hope he’s not saying anything bad about me.

“yup. this is my future girlfriend.” Luke exclaims, and i choke on my own spit.

what?! we barely know anything about each other! all i know is his name is Luke, he has the prettiest smile i’ve ever seen, and he plays hockey. pretty sure all he knows about me is my name and that i have an annoying roommate.

“hm. an odd match.” Duke ponders. there’s that phrase again! but now seeing Luke in his natural habitat, partying and joking with friends, and even just him being so confident, i can’t help but wonder if Duke and the girls are right. Luke and i do seem to contrast each other.

“what’s that supposed to mean?” Luke asks defensively.

“hey, i’m not saying that’s a bad thing!” Duke rebuts. “you guys are just kinda… opposites of each other.”

“opposites attract.” Luke shrugs. i’m kind of confused. does my opinion matter? Luke seems pretty confident that i like him back.

“uh, Luke.” i speak up. he looks down at me where i’m still tucked into his side. “we don’t really know anything about each other.”

“when you know, you know.” he shrugs.

**5 YEARS LATER**

i stare up at my now husband from my seat beside him with watery eyes and a soft smile.

“and i told her, ‘when you know, you know.’” he looks back down at me from his standing position. “and i knew. from the first time we met, i knew this would be the girl i spend the rest of my life with.”

everyone in the reception hall claps as Luke ends his speech. he gives me a soft kiss on the cheek before whispering in my ear.

“you got this, baby.” his hand clasps my shaky one and gives it a quick tight squeeze. i take one big deep breath and stand up, i hate public speaking, but i wrote my speech and i will read it.

“i didn’t know. well, at least not as quick as Luke.” a few people chuckle at that. “but what i do know, is that i went to my first party for him. which spoke volumes for me. and i thought he had the most amazing smile to ever exist.”

i look down at Luke and see the grin spread across his face.

“look, there it is!” i point to him as i look back at the reception hall full of our friends and family and everyone laughs. “i still think it’s the best smile, but i might be biased now. when we started dating, we had people calling us an odd match, i even had a friend compare us to ‘snow on the beach.’ she said we were ‘weird but beautiful.’”

“i used to think it was an insult, but now i look back and realize, our friends were right, we are an odd match.” i look back at Luke and now it’s my turn to smile. he takes ahold of my hand, squeezing it as a few tears roll down my cheeks. i finish my speech while maintaining eye contact with him. “but i like our differences, we balance each other out, and i can’t imagine what my life would be like if i hadn’t liked your confidence so much that night. i’m so grateful that i get to spend the rest of my life calling myself your wife.”

Luke stands, winding his arms around my waist and pulling me in for a sweet, slow kiss. i can hear everyone clapping, and someone lets out a loud “WOOO!”

i can distinctly tell that was Jack, and it makes me interrupt the kiss with a giggle. Luke just takes that chance to pull back and pepper my face in pecks. blood rushes to my face at the thought of our family and friends watching him do this, but he doesn’t care. his confidence is a constant, no room for embarrassment.

yeah, maybe my friend was right; Luke and i are like snow on the beach. at first glance, we’re an unlikely duo, different in a lot of ways, but we make a great couple and our love is beautiful.

[charmedreincarnation]

My shift to legend of Korra and astral projection story

As promised, I’m finally going to talk about one of my favorite places I’ve shifted to! my first ever shift (that I consider at least) was to here and I’ve found myself reminiscing about it and found some old journals about it. I’ll probably go there again soon but until then here was my experience:)! This is going to be very long so if you hate long posts just scroll past this!

Anyways Yall, The city was abuzz with activity, but the most impressive feature was the magnificent airships soaring above. I witnessed the incredible technology used to control those airships, and it was a sight to behold tbh.

Not only was I able to explore the physical wonders of Republic City, I also felt like I was living in the midst of a conflict. There were always whispers of trouble on the horizon, whether it was the power struggle between benders or the ongoing tension between the United Republic and the Fire Nation colonies. Everywhere I went, I encountered people talking and debating about the latest developments.

When I ventured outside of the city, I had the opportunity to witness and join in some of the great adventures that Team avater had gone on. I saw the Spirit World, (which very much resembles the astral realm in this reality) fought alongside her team against their toughest adversaries, and felt first-hand the strength and courage that each of them possessed.

I felt amazed and enlightened by my time here, Seeing such a harmonious society with so many different cultures living together in peace was eye-opening, and it left me with a newfound appreciation for humanity. The Avatar has a lot to teach us all.

One of the most exciting things I was ready to see was to explore the cities. Republic City is a remarkable place, full of possibility, opportunity, and sometimes danger.

the first things you’ll notice as you explore the metropolis is its diverse population of people from all nations, each with their own vibrant culture that contributes to the city’s ever-changing character. From Air Nomads to Earth Kingdom citizens, to Water Tribesmen, the city has something for everyone.

The city itself has been built on the pillars of modernity and traditionalism alike. As the cultural, economic and political hub of the United Republic of Nations, Republic City is bustling with activity. From the bustling Business District to the vibrant Pro-bending Arena, there’s something to do here for everyone.

If you’re looking for adventure, there’s really no better place than Republic City. its a host of powerful and mystical benders, brave police force aka The Metalbenders, and an active underworld made up of some of the most powerful crime lords in the world, there’s never a dull moment here.

And of course, no visit to Republic City would be complete without an exploration of its public places and parks. Take a stroll through lovely Centennial Park, or view the majestic statues of the city’s founding members in Chikara Plaza.

But above all else, Republic City is a living, breathing organism. Its unique mix of technology and tradition creates a fascinating environment that no other city can replicate. Explore its culture, people, and places. You wont be disappointed.

When I briefly visitied Ba sing se i was immediately taken aback by the sheer size of this city. Everywhere I looked, there was something new to discover. I felt like I could actually hear the city breathing alive and growing with every passing moment.

As I kept exploring, I was constantly amazed at the level of detail put into the city’s design. Everywhere you look, there’s something unique to explore – from the enormous street markets where you can shop for precious artifacts, to the magnificent gardens that are tucked away in the alleyways.

The most incredible thing about Ba Sing Se is its interconnectivity. Every part of the city comes together in a way that’s truly breathtaking. You can explore this amazing city via its intricate system of waterways, which are connected to each other by ancient bridges and tunnels.

But the best part about Ba Sing Se is the people that call it home. This city is filled with some of the friendliest and kindest people I’ve ever had the pleasure of meeting. They are all so welcoming and eager to share their culture and knowledge with anyone who’s willing to listen.

Exploring Ba Sing Se was truly a unique experience for me. It opened my eyes to different cultures and ways of life that I��d never encountered before. It has since become one of my favorite cities in The Legend of Korra, and I look forward to visiting it again someday soon.

But The most fun part was being apart of team avatar.

Being part of Team Avatar is not only about fighting for what is right, it’s also about making connections with others. We have many wonderful members who become close friends and confidants, providing support and guidance to one another.

The Avatar is the leader of our team (duh), Korra obviously. She is ultimately responsible for guiding us, teaching us, and keeping us all on the same page. Korra is brave and powerful, but also compassionate and humble. You can always count on her to listen to your concerns and provide thoughtful advice.

The rest of the team consists of myself,mako, bolin and asami. We are all loyal and devoted to Korra and Team Avatar. Everyone has their own talents and specialties, ranging from combat skills to earthbending. While we all have different strengths, we learn from each other, providing encouragement and support along the way.

Being part of Team Avatar is more than just fighting evil in the world; it’s also about being part of something bigger than yourself. We rely on each other to maintain a balance of peace and justice, while also learning and growing together. We may have different backgrounds, but we all share a common goal - to make the world a better place. This was my first real shift and experiencing this family like friendship was the best thing I could have asked for.

Also Harmonic convergence was insane 😭😭

For those who don’t know, Harmonic Convergence is an important event. It occurs every 10,000 years when the planets and stars align, allowing for a transfer of spiritual energy between the physical and spiritual realms. On this day, many people can receive spiritual gifts like airbending (I did! Before this event I was a non bender)

The process of getting airbending during Harmonic Convergence was both exciting and nerve-wracking. Tenzen told me I had to spend weeks mastering the basics of airbending, like how to move my hands and how to direct my breath. As well as spend days meditating and connecting with the spiritual realm.As of now I have no intentions doing this as I like my job and life, but I have always had an interest in the spiritual realm so maybe this journey tenzen wants me to take will help me with that.

I got mine a couple of days after harmonic convergence during my time at work with mako. I work with the police force under beifong and mako and I have always had a competitive nature. I was a non bender before this historic event, but I knew how to chi block which is essential. Now I have bending so I expect the competitive nature to increase and I can’t wait to utilize my new bending with chi blocking lol

The experience of getting my airbending during Harmonic Convergence was incredibly special and unique. I was able to witness a spiritual event as well as gain a new power and skill. If you ever visit, and end up gaining airbending during Harmonic Convergence, it’s important to be patient, practice mindful meditation, and create a sacred atmosphere on the day of convergence.

And as I mentioned before I am a chi blocker!

Chi blocking is actual super complicated and you need a lot of dedication & Precision to master it.

First, it’s important to understand where your attacker’s pressure points are located. The pressure points are located in the body’s meridians, which are the pathways used by the body to transfer energy. Here are a few of the main pressure points to keep in mind: the jugular vein, carotid artery, clavicle, forearm, and shin.

Once you’ve identified the pressure points, you can start working on your technique. The key to chi blocking is speed and precision. You want to be able to quickly and precisely target the pressure points to effectively stop your attacker.

To begin, you’ll need to know how to properly block the pressure points. To do this, use your palm, fingers, or knuckles to press firmly into the pressure point on your attacker’s body. Make sure you are using a flat strike in order to fully block the energy in your attacker’s body.

You can also use strikes or kicks to interrupt an attack. When striking an attacker, aim for vulnerable body parts such as their wrists, elbows, or throat. You want to avoid targeting sensitive areas like the eyes or groin.

In addition to blocking and striking, you can also use joint manipulation techniques to disrupt an attack. By using leverage and pressure, you can force your attacker’s limbs out of their fighting stance and disable their ability to fight back. chi blocking is all about speed and precision. I had to Train regularly as a child, use proper technique, and be aware of my environment so that i could safely and effectively defend yourself against attackers.

I also want to reminisce about Korra and asami 🥹

Being friends with Korra and Asami has been an incredible experience. Not only have we grown close over the years, but we’ve also shared some great life lessons along the way. I didn’t grow up with a lot of women because I spent a lot of time with my father and as he worked in politics i was always surrounded by old men, so their friendship means a lot to me.

Korra is the kind of friend who always has your back. She’s strong, brave and fiercely loyal; a true friend no matter what. Life’s lessons have been tough at times, but she’s been a support system through it all. Korra knows just what to say to motivate and inspire.

Asami is another great friend. She’s intelligent and driven, yet practical and empathetic. Together, we’ve worked through complex problems and made some difficult decisions. Asami has the unique ability to see the whole picture and to think objectively.

No matter what we’re dealing with, our friendship has been a cornerstone of our lives. We may not always agree with each other, but we’ve come to trust each other even with different opinions. We laugh together and are open with each other.

Of course, we’ve also gone through some tough times. We’ve had disagreements, said hurtful things to each other, but we’ve never failed to apologize and learn from our mistakes.

Korra and Asami are two of the strongest women I know. I’m proud to call them friends, and I wouldn’t change our friendship for the world. Life isn’t perfect, but it definitely is better with them in it.

Ok next, No one ever talks about the mundane stuff of their shifts but the religion aspect fascinated me about this reality.

there are several different religions, but some may stand out more than others. Regardless it’s nothing like current day religions in this reality. The primary religion is the cult of bending, which is mostly centered around reverence for the four main elements (fire, earth, air, and water). This religion is followed by most people including myself even when I was a non bender.

The second major religion is the spiritual order of the “White Lotus,” a secret society that is dedicated to preserving and passing on wisdom about the Avatar. It has members such as Iroh and Aang having significant roles. This is incorporated into the religion I follow as well

Thirdly, there is a mysterious element known as “energybending,” which is used by some of the larger spiritual beings in the series, such as Raava and Vaatu. This energybending allows one to transfer energy from one person to another and even manipulate matter in ways that bending cannot do. This power is seen as a sacred practice and only those truly enlightened can use it.

Finally, there are the various local religions that I have heard of but no one really practices on a global scales. Korra and I met a group of nomads who practiced a religion based on ancestor worship. There are also several mentions of various sects of Buddhism, as well as indigenous spiritual beliefs.

Overall, There are many different beliefs and traditions present throughout which add to the out societies diversity. As I continue to explore this universe, I expect to learn more about these faith systems and how they affect the people I am surrounded by.

No one really ever talks about this when they shift either,but I will be telling you guys my favorite dishes and general popular dishes as well because all i think about is food ;p

For those who want a taste of Republic City, a common food is tarragon glazed beef buns. This dish consists of beef strips cooked in a tarragon infused glaze, served in a steamed bun with various condiments. The variety and texture make this dish a favorite in my friend group.

Another popular dish is hot tofu salad. This traditional salad consists of diced tofu and vegetables, often served cold alongside various sauces and herbs. It makes for a filling and flavorful meal with a hint of tanginess.

If you’re looking for something spicy you will love Republic City’s version of fiery noodles. This dish contains a variety of vegetables, noodles, beef, and chili peppers served with a sesame or peanut sauce. The mix of textures and flavors makes this dish a great choice for when you’re looking for something flavorful and exciting.

No matter what type of food you prefer my city has something for everyone to enjoy. Whether you like sea creatures wrapped in seaweed or fiery noodle dishes, you can find all kinds of delicious dishes in Republic City. Whether you enjoy cooking them yourself or picking them up from a local cart, the options are endless lmfao.

Here are some of my fav restaurants:

First, let’s start with the classic Ba Sing Se Republic City’s oldest and most traditional restaurant. Here, you’ll find a variety of bao dishes, like pork-filled buns, vegetable dumplings and Tianjin Rice Porridge. The favored accompaniment to many of their dishes is their legendary tea-smoked duck.

The jianbing cart downtown is also worth a visit. It’s a one-stop spot for all your street food cravings. Their jianbing pancakes are hot and crispy, and loaded with egg, shallots and pickled veggies. Make sure to grab an iced tea after your meal for a sweet finish.

If you’re looking for something more adventurous, you can go to Republic City Fusion Cuisine. This restaurant has a unique spin on traditional dishes from around the world. Enjoy succulent pork-stuffed peppers from the Andes, Thai-style curries or Indian kebabs.

And of course No meal in Republic City is complete without dessert, and who better to satisfy your craving than Iroh’s? Iroh’s specializes in bubble tea of every flavor, chai tea lattes, and their signature treat, smooth yogurt topped with sweet honey glaze. It’s my favorite place to go for dates and group meet ups because of the ambiance and it’s history of its creation. Iroh is a greatly respected figure in history.

Now for the Random stuff

Some of my favorite things I did outside of hanging out with team avatar and work included: exploring the beauty of Republic City’s architecture. I love walking by the breathtaking skyscrapers and the majestic Tree of Time that stands proud in the center of the city. Not to forget taking strolls along the canal, and admiring the Spirit Wilds’ colorful gardens. Also watching a tournament at Pro-bending arena I think this is an obvious no brainer but it is the equivalent to this world’s sports! attending one of their many festivals was super cool. They have a bunch, From the music festival to the spirit festival, and these events offer a great chance to meet new people, discover new sounds and tastes, and learn more about the history behind Republic City. Lastly going over to Air Temple Island and soaring through the sky on an air scooter with Korra and tenzens kid. This is a great way to admire the city from above.

As a police officer, I have had the privilege of working directly with Chief Beifong to help keep Republic City safe.

I can honestly say that Chief Beifong is one of the best leaders I have ever had the pleasure of knowing in any reality. She is a focused, intelligent, and strong leader with an unwavering commitment to justice and protecting the citizens of Republic City.

Chief Beifong has always been incredibly supportive of the police officers who work for her. She’s always available to give encouragement, advice, or direction when needed. The chief encourages us to stay on top of suspicious activity and to be proactive in safeguarding the citizens of Republic City.

She also heavily values accountability and ethics for her police force. She believes strongly in the importance of doing the right thing and follows through with disciplinary actions if her officers get out of line.

Being a cop under Chief Beifong has taught me the valuable skills of dealing with difficult situations and the importance of keeping a cool head in tense situations. It has also instilled me with a strong sense of responsibility and ethical decision making.

Overall, being a cop under Chief Beifong has been an incredibly rewarding experience. She is an incredible leader and an amazing role model for her officers. We are all grateful to have her as our captain, and I know that I feel much more confident in my duties knowing that she is leading the Republic City Police Department.

One of the most impressive pieces of technology used in Legend of Korra is the power armor of Zaofu. This robotic suit was created by Suyin Beifong to protect her family from danger. It’s equipped with a multitude of weapons including a large drill and repelling cables. The power armor can also sense the presence of benders nearby, allowing Suyin to know when danger is coming.

Another fascinating piece of tech featured in the show is the radio controlled cars. These vehicles were built by Varrick and are capable of interacting with and carrying out complex commands. They’re powerful enough to outrun Korra’s airbending and can be used to transport people across long distances. By using a remote control, drivers can pilot these vehicles to strategic locations with ease.

In addition to vehicles and mechanized suits, it also featured a unique form of communication through holograms. This technology was used by Tenzin to contact other Airbenders and relay important updates. There was also a psychological application of this tech as Korra was able to gain insight into the Avatar state by taking part in a virtual Reality experience.

Lastly the interactive control panels used by Kya and Bumi. These panels gave access to a wide range of knowledge, including the locations of benders and the status of the world’s vital functions. The panels could also be used to trigger alarm systems, contact other benders, and carry out research.

Overall, technology played an important role in the Legend of Korra universe and complemented the power of bending in unique ways.

Bisons bro, I can’t believe they’re not in this reality 💔They’re one of the biggest aspects I miss about my legend of Korra homes they’re quite friendly and intelligent as you would assume. They have a strong bond with their airbenders, so they appreciate being handled with patience and gentleness.

When you interact with them, they seem to understand the feelings of those around them even those they are not quite familiar with. This makes them quite easy to get along with.The best way to describe the feeling of interacting with a sky bison is that it makes you feel calm and peaceful. They’re so big and gentle that you can really get lost in the moment and enjoy their majestic presence.They also are way bigger than I imagined. As for their size, sky bisons can reach up to 25 feet in length and have a wingspan between 12 and 20 feet. They’re impressive to look at, both from far away and up close. Almost seeming to almost take up the entire sky.

Now, Astral projection

after this shift, a week later I astral projected which is Insane considering it took about 1.5 years for me to initially shift. I’m combining these stories because the spiritual world and the astral realm are the same thing which is why I think it was so easy to do.

I got into astral projection after I started reading about other peoples out of body experiences..like meeting spirits, traveling the world in seconds, some even meeting what they presumed to be god, and got fascinated once again as it did not sound like the shifting I had been doing. I was so interested and did a little research to find out that once again this was astral projection and I decided this was going to be me.

Contrary to everything I was taught, I didn’t do much research like I did with shifting. My belief was if I shifted, then there’s no reason I should not be able to astral project tbh. it seemed easier on paper. I watched a video on how to do it, and it seemed simple enough. After three days of trying one day, while doing my method I felt myself rolling out of my body and when I “awoke” I saw my real body.

It was so amazing, I could not feel myself but i was aware of my own presence, and was on my floor even though I resembled what you would think is a ghost, at least matter wise. I didn’t really know where to go or what to do. I wasn’t using it to shift, and I didn’t have any goals or intentions but I was not going to waste a good spiritual moment. I told my subconscious to take me where I most need to go. Just Like that I started moving, but I was not moving? More like….My environment was changing at the same speed of light, but I could not feel it. Anyways I wasn’t in my room anymore.

I ended up in an abandoned house. I was just exploring it when I saw, what I didn’t know at the time were probably spirits. (Y’all do not be like me, do your research before you practice any out of body experience.) anyways, they looked liked live dolls, but they were asleep. I knew better than to mess with something I didn’t know of, so I let my curiosity die and I went outside. When I went out there, the sky was colors that did not exist on this earth, or at least we can’t see them. The weather was something I had never experienced and I felt the most euphoria and tranquillity that I doubt I could ever feel on this human plain of existence. I wanted to cry of happiness and just stay there forever. But moments later I saw a beautiful angel, and for some reason I knew her name before asking. It was Helen

After confirming her identity, it almost feels wrong to refer to it as a her. This was a godly being lol. I digress, but I asked her so many questions. Why I had to go through everything I did, what is shifting, how is it possible, did she hear my pain when I was asking for help from anyone, how is she real, who is god. I asked everything guys, and all the answers I received aligned with my beliefs. My final question was is she apart of my subconscious, because unless I’m the second coming of god how could a normal ass girl have the correct answer to everything unknown to man. She told me that was up to my interpretation and just smiled at me. I already knew the answers because, what we assume is true. If you were to ask the same questions to a godly being who knows all, we would all get different answers. Everything I had learned from shifting, all the questions I had came to the final conclusion and my journey was over from that point forward. I asked her to take me home as I was excited to wake up and tell my friends what I had learned. That is what happened and when I saw my body, I went back inside and I simply opened my eyes back to my room where I had fallen asleep

Basically,When I woke up from that moment my journey was over and I decided it was time to experience as much as I can. Everything changed. I had so many questions as to what to do to continue to shift forever.. how it works etc.. just so much questions and it’s like the following days everything just came to my knowledge at once.

Like I said before, I shifted to legend of Korra, and the spiritual essence in that reality was insane. Not to mention the astral world is quite literally the humans world version of the spiritual world in that reality. I do not know if that had to do with my success or if it was a coincidence (really doubt it) but astral projecting right after my first shifting experience was one of the best things that could happen to me. There’s not much to say but that journey was the peak culminating point of my Experience and I think about it often !

After that’s I wanted to be more apart of the astral projection community but my god they are such haters. They think shifters are mentally ill, and treat us worse than the lucid dreaming community. It doesn’t even make sense considering opening an awareness to a parallel universe sounds way more believable than leaving your body and traveling as a soul, but….whatever I suppose. They’re both very real and I have noticed anytime time a new community emerged it’s labeled as false. I mean decades ago even lucid dreaming was mere pseudoscience and people just thought lucid dreamers were insane. Astral projection followed and then lucid dreamers treated them the same. Now they do the same to shifters. As someone who has experienced all three phenomenons it’s insane how limiting they all can be. It doesn’t matter though. Anyone hating on your desires and are content with their limitations have nothing to do with your accomplishment and goals. Misery loves company so don’t falter to the hatred of others. Even here in my asks, void state anons and manifesters tell me I’m delusional for being a shifter and I have to cackle bc baby… to others you’re in the same boat 🫶 but it’s whatever, live your life and seriously don’t let anyone limit you. That universe is yours.

[rainbowsky]

Hello Rainbowsky,

Is Rocco using the 227 kadian a coincidence? If not, I really can’t understand why on earth did he choose that time to post.

I was happy to know that he defended WYB but I really felt bad when I saw the time.

Rainbowsky, what do you think?

With all due respect, Anon - and everyone else who has messaged me about this...

I am deeply disappointed by BXG these past couple days - more so than I've been maybe even in YEARS. Y'all are behaving like a bunch of toxic solos, many of you being blindly instigated by toxic solos who are manipulating your feelings for their own ends.

DD went to an event and had a good time, looked amazing - one of the rare occasions where he's not wearing a plain black suit - posted multiple amazing videos and photo sets, was the guest of honor and the most anticipated face of the evening...

And all anyone GAF about is this petty drama bullshit.

I've gotten so many messages about Rocco and the various toxic and often deeply homophobic rumors going around about him, about GQ and their supposed rift with GG, about this stupid F'n kadian, and I've had only ONE message about DD and how great he looked and how great it was to see him in such a casual feeling setting, looking relaxed and happy.

This is toxic fandom, in a nutshell. This is toxic fandom.

I had thought y'all were above all that. I really had. But it seems Tumblr really is no less toxic than Twitter. At least, that's what it feels like these past couple days.

What do I think of this kadian moment? I think that it was likely intentional, and I find myself laughing at how sassy he is. That's what I think. GG's fans were pushing a hateful lie about DD - which it seems like all they're good for these days - and flooding his photo post with comments about DD supposedly lying about his height, and his response was to slap them with the facts.

If the kadian was intentional - and I suspect it probably was - it was a slap on XFX, not on GG. Because fuck them, seriously. Fuck them for constantly dogging DD's every step with hate hs on Weibo. You've probably heard about so many of the attacks on DD over the last while. "Desperate illiterate", his height, etc. What you might not know is that every single one of them is orchestrated and pushed by XFX.

2/27 is XFX's shame (that sadly they have no shame about). It is NOT GG's shame. He did no wrong, and everyone knows it. His fans haven't learned a thing, and keep doing this kind of garbage, which might one day lead to GG's downfall or to another period of having to lie low in obscurity, etc.

The kadian shows the post to be directed squarely at XFX, where it belongs. Nothing more. The only people who will notice or care about it are the assholes in the comments arguing. Bystanders won't notice or care. It does absolutely NOTHING to harm GG. It just embarrasses and calls out XFX.

If DD can go hang out with and be the guest of honor for an event that is a huge feather in Rocco's cap, making Rocco look good in China and internationally - the man is getting a lot of accolades for the event - if he can walk the red carpet with him and be friendly with and have an obviously good relationship with him (Edit: and can hug him like a good friend), then no fan has any excuse for holding any kind of grudge against him.

There is no one closer to GG than DD, so if Rocco is OK with DD, he's OK with me. End of fucking story.

People who are reading into this all kinds of conspiracy theory BS need to go touch some grass. Seriously.

This is a fandom of GG and DD, not of Rocco Liu. Stop focusing on stupid shit, people.

[peachyloveswriting]

Hiii loved your Kyle story <333 could you plsss do one where there’s a new girl and both Kyle and Cartman try and get her and what they’d do to get her to fall for them??

Eric VS Kyle

SUMMARY: Both Eric and Kyle like you but you're so unsure with the many choices you have.

⸝⸝⸝⸝⸝

I stand awkwardly between the two, each one looking at me expectant on my answer. Kyle blinks at me. "Well which one, New Kid?" A glare is shot to Eric who stands beside him. Both teenagers are in a stand off of sorts and it's all over me. That's unbelievable in and of itself but for this to happen, gosh. I only moved in about a month or so ago, South Park was our final destination. After, we go nowhere, that's what my parents discussed. Once they settled on South Park that was it. Stories had been heard online about the shit that's happened here but no one believes it, I was the same way, but now I'm not. I can see how what they said was true and the two boys I became closest with in that group were part of most of it.

On my first day of high school here, I was welcomed by a rather sweet, country sounding blonde. Butters was his name. He showed me around, even introducing me to his friends. All of us seemed to click together rather fast, Kyle and Eric becoming the two I found myself around the most soon enough. At the very beginning I realized there was already this animosity between the two, constant bickering and yelling back and forth. As time went on though, it only seemed to get worse. The two would pull one another into a separate room just to have it out, and about what I'm not sure.

Soon enough I realized that it started escalating into a challenge of who could one up the other in anything. Kyle would spend time with me outside of school and then Eric would try to stay the night. It was a never ending cycle. The two just kept going. First Eric bought me a phone, then Kyle took me to dinner, Eric asked me to homecoming which is months away, and Kyle threatened Eric in front of me. He was all in Eric's face, a scowl covering his features. Insults were thrown up in the air and at one another eventually leading to where I am now.

Both Kyle and Cartman stand in front of me watching me intensely. They expect me to pick which one I like the most between the two.

KYLE

-> If you pick Kyle he's so happy. Literally jumping up and down and tackling you into a hug. He swears to be there for you anytime you need him and he kinda rubs it in Eric's face. Between the two he tried the hardest to make you like him so he feels he deserves this.

-> the things he did to get you though we're rather sweet. Kyle would help you with school work after school, he would let you copy his notes, he always spent time with you. At some point he bought you a gift and took you shopping just because he felt like it. You helped him a lot with his younger brother Ike, watching him when he was too busy. He fought Cartman physically and won, no one knows how since Eric just throws his weight around and usually wins but Kyle knows how to actually fight. He rightly has the upper hand.

-> Cartman was super disappointed by your choice and forever decided to hate both you and Kyle. He constantly made fun of you all the time which resulted in mostly everyone ignoring him for a long time. Eventually he left and you never saw him again.

CARTMAN

-> Cartman played dirty to get your attention. He slashed your tires so he could help you buy new ones, broke your bedroom window then blamed it on a tree limb so he could help you replace it, he stole Kyle's phone and pretended to be him asking you on a date and then stood you up. He did a lot of dirty shit you don't know about just to get your attention. And even though he lost the fight with Kyle you still picked him.

-> He seems excited but the longer he hangs out with you the more bored it gets. He soon realizes that all he wanted to do was beat the competition and win it had nothing to do with emotions. He's too far in to back out now and just doesn't really try. That is until you show him just how good of a partner you are. He appreciates you deeply though he has a hard time showing it. He does acts of service and gives you gifts to appreciate what you do for him

-> Kyle tries to get you to see the bad in Eric but you just can't seem to see it. Eventually Kyle gives up. You've changed Eric a lot and you did him more good than anything. He needed someone like you and Kyle is happy you're happy with Eric.

NEITHER

-> Both stop talking to you, they continue their normal lives just without you in it. And as much as it hurts Kyle to see all that effort go to waste He will eventually move on.

BOTH?

-> It's so much of a accomodation but both boys are extremely happy. Though the competition may continue in various ways they love you all the same. Although the animosity between them never left and jealousy still lies somewhere between them. Though Kyle can be quite possessive at times.

[mxsonxmountx]

Lando Norris x Liars Like You

TW: Abuse! Please don’t read if you feel uncomfortable!

Word count: 600+                   

Requested: Yes/No

Don’t waste more time on the bad guys, I didn’t think you were a bad guy

You was warned by friends, family, exes and the drivers to not date him, you deserved better and they wanted better from you. You deserved to be happy. You thought Lando would make you happy. He did for a long period of time, until it started to fizzle out. It killed you to see it fizzle out but with the rumours you heard, the messages you was getting on a daily basis you started to doubt everything you do and did for him. From the late nights when he wouldn’t come home till gone 3am for unknown reasons, to the missed dinner dates and anniversary. You knew you had to leave but you couldn’t, wanted to prove yourself wrong. You wanted to prove that he wasn’t just another bad guy but you couldn’t. It was fighting a losing battle for you and him.

Even you forget which parts are true, that’s the problem with liars like you

Things improved slowly but then took a dark turn when he started drinking heavily, physically and mentally abuse you got when he would have one too many. You knew he didn’t mean the things what he said, or when he would hit you. It all started after a bad race, you couldn’t make it so he went out with his family after for a few drinks. A few drinks ended up turning into £500 worth of drinks. You wanted to stay up and wait for him but your eyes was heavy and you had work in the morning so you decided to call it a night. You woke up at your normal time 8am so you could be in work before 10:30am, little did you know Lando was in the kitchen making himself a coffee you greeted him with a good morning, next you knew you was on the floor holding your face “what was that for?” “I wanted you to wait up for me and you didn’t” he shouted “really Lando?! Really. I’m so disappointed in you” you slowly got up from the kitchen floor before he kicked you back down. This time he really hurt you, you thought he’d help you up instead he just walked over you. You kept telling yourself that he didn’t mean it, you should’ve waited up for him. If you waited, none of this would’ve happened.

Weeks have passed, you have fresh bruises on your arms and a black eye. You couldn’t keep it covered. It was race weekend, you had to go since you’ve missed so many due to Lando’s actions towards you. You attempted to keep sunglasses on to keep your eye covered which worked, until you went to the toilets and one of the McLaren workers saw you and asked what’s happened, that’s when you knew you had to speak out. You couldn’t keep everything hidden anymore. You didn’t do it to give him a bad name, you did it so people knew what he was really like. He lied constantly to everyone who asked him after and swore on his life that he never hit you. He later knew that he messed up when he confessed to a driver what he really did, then instantly changed it to saying that you walked into a door and that how you got the bruises and black eye. He told people different things, he couldn’t get his own story straight.

And the worst part is how much I miss you, hate myself cause I want to forgive you

You finally grew enough confidence to leave him, and that’s what you did. You left him without any warnings. You couldn’t keep it up anymore. You packed most your stuff and took it to work with, you had enough savings to book yourself into a hotel for a few weeks until you got yourself all sorted.

One night you was lying in bed, your thoughts was everywhere. You knew that you shouldn’t message him, but you wanted too. You wanted answers on why he did what he did to you, it was lovely to start with. You just don’t know where it went wrong. You wanted to married this man, you wanted everything with Lando but he gave you the opposite to that.

[himbeereule]

(please excuse my language. normally i don't swear, but i'm really not well right now.)

tomorrow is my birthday (fuck)

i also have a presentation tomorrow (i haven't started on it yet, and i don't have any powerpoint-esque software to begin with. fuck)

i also have two exams tomorrow (i wasn't present when we learned the stuff that'll get asked there, i haven't started trying to catch up, and there is no script or comparable materials to do that to begin with. fuck)

i went outside and there were too many people and my brain went "seems like a good time to start a major depressive episode!" (fuck)

i'll call in sick to school tomorrow because otherwise i'll 100% unalive myself (i already have trouble with my boss because of too many sick days - they were all during school blocs. idek why he cares as long as my grades are fine, but i might end up losing the job once my contract runs out. fuck)

i mean, i'm aware that i'm just whining, but seriously. how fucking unfair can the world be. with my set of issues, i should be dead or in a closed psychiatric facility. but because i happen to be really good at most things, people expect me to constantly overperform. which i can't. i barely function at all. i lost my last job because of too many sick days; two days later, they hired me back because the whole department fell apart without me. when my boss at my current job warned me about the number of sick days (even though almost all of them were during school blocs which i'll be done with next year anyway) he told me i only have a chance still because if i'm there 80% of the time i'm still way more productive than others who are never sick.

don't know where i'm going with this - again, just pathetic whining, feel free to ignore - but the bitterness has to go somewhere i guess. i stumbled through the entire school system, every single teacher/professor i had was like "oooh, you're really good, i expect great things from you" and then did EXACTLY NOTHING to help with that - on the contrary, they actively hindered me by insisting on petty bureaucratic bullshit. so now i'm stuck with a mediocre upper-level graduation paper that makes me a "specialist worker" but also bars me from studying any of the things i actually could get through despite my issues; and i can't keep any job, because, despite outperforming pretty much everyone in productivity in all my jobs, i can't get consistent attendence rates, and HR shift planners hate that.

welp, i'll try to work on the project(s) at least. don't want to disappoint everyone here as much as i'm disappointing myself and everyone else.

(also, it feels so fucking weird to add tags to this, like... my immediate reaction is "huh? i'm not writing this to get attention, i don't need tags!"; but then i realize i am absolutely doing this for attention, because note number go up makes brain give dopamine shot like one of these early 2000s coin machines where you'd get grimy 10 year old candy if you tricked the mechanism into working... still not adding all the diagnosis tags though this time, the guilt i'd feel over this isn't worth the potential extra readers)