#everyone is always saying that they can’t pinpoint my type and honestly neither can I sometimes

[spiritofwhitefire]

Um fot celebrities... Christina Ricci, Hiram Abbass, Rami Malek, Melissa Barrera anddd Keiran Culkin? idk <3

Oooh!!!

Christina ricci: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Hiram Abbass: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Rami malek: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Melissa Barrera: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

Kieran Culkin: Not My Type | Alright | Cute | Adorable | Pretty | Gorgeous | LORD MERCY

[danghyuk]

BTS having a tall but timid boyfriend

A/N: Request by: @awkfanboy, this is really long (like 2,6k words oof) and I’m sorry it took ages to finish. ​​

Namjoon:

Namjoon is the tallest member in BTS, and though he’s not used to be the smaller person for once, it’s not a bad thing at all. It’s not before one of his fellow members points it out, that Namjoon starts to notice the slight difference in your heights.

With the slight teasing about how Namjoon isn’t the tallest anymore, especially from the youngest, the older members like Seokjin also starts to hint about and assume your bedroom situation. 

Though Namjoon never comments on it. He’s mature about the teasing and he knows to keep your private matters to himself. In fact, he often refrains himself from smiling due to the rest of the members being so clueless and assuming that your height defines who’s the more dominant. The two of you are not your average heteronormative couple, starting with the both of you not being straight, so why do the same social expectations apply to you in every aspect?

They just continue with the teasing, taking it for granted since Namjoon never says or does anything against their claims. He wants the members to see for themselves rather than correcting them for judging a book by its cover. Because he also assumed that you would take the lead when it came to sex, and Namjoon doesn’t want to appear as a hypocrite. 

So, when he finally introduces you to his fellow band members, he refrains himself from laughing as their expressions one by one changes into pure surprise. None of them can tear their eyes away from the two of you, and being shy, you naturally hide your face into Namjoon’s neck, to which he just smiles and pulls you closer. There’s not really a distinct height difference between the two of you, but it’s still surprising to see your taller and longer frame sitting on Namjoon’s lap. 

Seokjin:

No one, not even Namjoon believes that you – Seokjin’s tall and intimidating boyfriend, are as shy and cute as he describes you as. “What do I have to do, huh? Drag my small baby to meet all of you hyper kids at the same time?” “Hyung, I’m sure [Name] is a lot of things, but small is not one of them…”

It takes a lot, and I mean a lot, of persuasion (and diversity of bribery) from Jin’s side to make you finally accept the fact that you were going to meet them all at once. A pep talk, murmurs of sweet nothings and loving kisses is a big part of it (and it never fails to make you blush, which Seokjin takes great pleasure in – that sadistic bastard).

Seokjin reassures the rest of his bandmates that he under no circumstances was trying to hide you, but then again no one believes that you’re as shy as he makes you out to be. On the other hand, he resonates with you that he wants the most important people in his life to meet. 

On the big day, neither of you can tell who’s the most nervous judging by both of your clammy hands (Seokjin simply refuses to let go of your hand). He steers you right away towards the couch when you’re done taking off your outerwear because he knows for a fact that you’re not going to be left alone for the entire evening. The couch is therefor the perfect limbo, he can press himself into your taller and warmer frame at the same time as the members can join you.

 Meeting them isn’t as chaotic as you thought it would be, and the members (especially the younger ones) are perplexed, which quickly turns to giddiness. They do not pry much (thanks to Jin’s warning looks and Yoongi’s sharp elbow into Jeongguk’s stomach), but their curious eyes bulge every time your cheeks flush due to Seokjin’s flirty antics, and whenever your hand unconsciously searches for Seokjin’s calming touch. By the end of the day, your boyfriend is wearing a permanent smirk and your ears have never felt warmer due to Seokjin ‘accidentally showing off the long scratch marks on his back. 

Yoongi: 

Yoongi can be blunt when he wants to, not to mention honest, but there are some aspects of his private life he values too much. One of those being you, of course. The other members know he has a boyfriend of some sort; however, they are rather bad at getting any type of information out of him. Jimin and Seokjin are the nosiest, being two different menaces – one nagging and one too curious for his own good.

From what they have gathered, they know that you are younger than Yoongi and that’s about it. Despite Yoongi rarely opening up when it comes to the boyfriend topic, he does sometimes slip up. Like that one time you changed his lock screen to the two of you and he forgot to change it back.

Despite his fellow band members constantly begging him to introduce you to them, Yoongi declines every time with no room for any argument. What his members don’t know is his reasons for not wanting to introduce you to them just yet. Even after being together for almost four months, you’re still extremely shy and nervous around large groups of people, especially nosy ones. BTS is exactly that and because they’re considered as his second family, he just knows you will be way more nervous meeting them and to give them a good impression of yourself. 

When they do meet you, it is just by accident and poor miscalculations. Yoongi had texted you earlier to come over and with a clear signal that the dorm was empty except him. However, it is not your boyfriend who opens the door for you when you arrive. Jimin, who wasn’t expecting anyone, mirrors your shocked expression as you both stare at each other for a while. He figures out who you are immediately seeing as Yoongi was everything but subtle when he pulled you after him in a hurried manner towards his room, and he doesn’t waste a single second to text everyone about his discovery. 

When the rest of the members arrive back home, they are met with a pretty funny and slightly pathetic sight. You, a 190cm tall male, trying your best to hide behind your much smaller boyfriend. Your much taller form next to the smallest idols in BTS is a sight to take in. Just like Jimin, all of them are shocked by your height, but also how you behave around Yoongi. With looks as sharp as knives from Yoongi, no one dares to look at the two of you too long nor ask the question at the tip of everyone’s tongue. This lasts until Yoongi, by accident again, manages to tug your sweater down and expose your hickey covered throat. 

Hoseok:

When Hoseok starts to date you, everybody knows it. Before they have even met you, BTS knows what your favourite colour is, how you look when you sleep and how many plants you have. He can’t particularly help it since you’re his favourite topic and honestly, everyone is rather amazed at him not having exposed your relationship. The weird thing, which Yoongi pinpoints every time you are brought up in a conversation, is that they have yet to meet you.

Being constantly reminded by the other’s and not having a good answer as to why they haven’t met you, makes them slightly annoyed. You are already a huge part of Hoseok’s life and it’s not hard to see how much you affect him in every aspect. A single text from you can make his entire day and he wears the same dreamy smile whenever he returns from a date with you. 

There’s nothing else Hoseok wants to do other than introduce you to them, but he respects your comfort zone and takes your feelings into consideration. If you don’t feel ready meeting them, then he’ll wait for you 100%. You’re his adorable boyfriend after all, even with your taller and bigger build, he adores how easy he can make you flush and writhe underneath him.

“Yah! When are you going to introduce your boyfriend to us?” “Soon, I hope. He’s just… really shy.” Whenever Hoseok uses that specific word to describe you, the others have a hard time believing him due to his other stories about you. Luckily, they do not have to wait long before you agree to meet them all.

The first introduction goes like dream, except for the many times you hit your head in the door frames. They are all in awe of your height, whether they voice it out loud or not (like Taehyung asking you if he could get a piggyback ride). Some of them feel slightly guilty for not believing the rapper earlier, though those feelings are quickly brushed away by their curiosity. How come someone so tall has a personality resembling that of a fragile flower? Another thing they learn, to their surprise, is Hoseok’s new favourite hobby – teasing you until you’re hiding in his embrace.

Jimin: 

The first thing Jimin had noticed when he saw you was your undeniable height, but it wasn’t what drew him towards you. He can’t deny that you look absolutely stunning, with your long legs wrapped in skinny jeans or slacks that make your figure seem as if you’re sculpted by the gods, but he simply can’t enough of your flushed cheeks and you averting your eyes whenever the two of you lock eyes for more than five seconds.

He simply thrives on how completely different you are compared to your looks. Even though he is the smallest in BTS and is relentlessly teased for it, he has absolutely no problem standing at the tip of his toes just to whisper something dirty in your ear, kiss your nape or just tug you down by your collar to meet your lips in a deep kiss. 

Because of Jimin’s never-ending PDA, you’ve gotten quite used to being showered in affection and more used to ignore prying looks, though you can’t stop yourself from blushing whenever he decides he wants to kiss you. And you just know he does it on purpose, that’s a no-brainer because your boyfriend will always, without a doubt, burst out in a cute high-pitched giggle every single time he manages to make you hide behind your own hands. 

Jimin is pretty quick to introduce you to his friends and the first thing they immediately point out are your ridiculous differences in height as if you weren’t aware of it yourselves. Your boyfriend is used to comments like that, but you aren’t and causes you to step behind Jimin- using him as a shield. You’re practically digging your own grave by trying to hide behind your boyfriend, BTS are ruthless and they tease you even more after laughing at your attempt at hiding. 

BTS thinks it’s cute how the two of you compliment yet contrast each other in your relationship. With your tall build and shy nature, it’s easy to imagine your personality as cold and stoic, so, until now you’ve done nothing but turning the other member’s expectations upside down. They still can’t phantom the image of you turning towards Jimin for permission someone asks you to do something or join them. 

Taehyung:

Like Namjoon, he isn’t really aware of height until he has a hard time kissing you, messing with your hair or jumping at your back for you to carry him. He also tends to forget how tall you actually are because he is a rather spontaneous and impulsive person. It doesn’t bother him even if he has to ask you to bend down time after time, Taehyung just huffs in fake annoyance and simply tugs your head downwards.

Due to your own awkward and timid personality, you feel bad whenever he has to ask you to bend down. Taehyung thinks you’re being ridiculous when you tell him and shows you just how hot he thinks your taller frame really is. That certain event made Taehyung realise in which direction your relationship was establishing and unfolding, and he realised how little he cared whether you took control or not.

The discovery makes him more aware of your sheepish habits and your reserved way of accepting his affections. From how your neck would turn darker whenever he does something you really like or display your relationship – to how you would try to make yourself smaller next to him in the public (he always scolds you for doing so because he’s worried about your posture). 

The two of you have spun your own net of habits around you and your relationship, which you often are unaware of, but when you meet his bandmates, they’re a little thrown off at how you and Taehyung’s dynamics work. You are completely used to your boyfriend making the decisions and don’t think much of it until the rest of BTS, especially Jimin and Hoseok, catch on to who’s really in charge. 

Suddenly you find yourself in the middle of a sexual innuendos and joke battle, and your face feeling as if it’s on fire does anything but defuse the situation. Even after getting Taehyung to save you and sitting in his lap, it’s Seokjin and Jeongguk’s turn to laugh seeing as you’re trapping your smaller boyfriend between you and the couch. Having the build like an intimidating basketball player doesn’t help your case when a little kiss makes into a stuttering and flustered mess. 

Jeongguk:

Your height is something Jeongguk was jealous of originally before you got together and before he knew that your ‘tall, mysterious and handsome’ appearance is you being too reserved for socialising in large groups of people. Now he just relishes and finds pride in being able to push you down on your couch, bed, floor, whatever to start a heavy makeout session, knowing you love it as much as he does.

He loves to show you off to everyone, everywhere. “Look at my boyfriend, isn’t he gorgeous?” “He’s legit a tree, Jeongguk, but sure.” Having him constantly spewing out compliments and bragging left and right, doesn’t help your shy persona at all and makes you pull out of social interactions more often than not.

Thus, portraying yourself as unapproachable and standoffish to others. BTS has a hard time warming up to you since the first few introductions were brief and pretty awkward for both parts. Even though they’re all impressed by your height, it just adds to your ‘tough guy’ image. Jeongguk doesn’t give up however and tries harder to include you in the group activities. 

Whenever you try to excuse yourself or go somewhere quieter, your boyfriend hurries to pull you back in even if he has to haul your tall ass over his shoulder. It’s quite the sight to see the youngest member dragging his way taller boyfriend after him as if he has no worries. Your flushed expression makes them ponder a bit before they all realise the same. Seokjin even apologies for not being the most welcoming, they just found you slightly intimidating, and of course, that makes you even more flustered as you accept their apology. 

After the big revelation, Jeongguk’s friends watch your interactions with your boyfriend wide-eyed, disappointed in themselves for not having noticed your constant flustered expressions, how you seem to lean on Jeongguk and the fact that it’s the youngest BTS member who initiates all physical contact like kissing you and placing his hands on your thighs. The two of you fit together like a puzzle even if some stereotypical roles are reversed. 

[connor-murphy-trash]

Heyo I saw that you made your requests open, so maybe if it isn't too much work,I could ask for a Connor Murphy x reader? it doesn't matter if they are hcs or a scenario, maybe somwthing with the reader being his internet friend and then surprising him by starting to go to his school. And everyone is like why tf is this chick with that freak, and Connor gets really insecure but the reader stands up for him and makes him feel loved. Sorry if it's too long or too specific. Lots of love to you 💕💕

An: This took me a few weeks to write, and I loved every second of it. It is a little ooc, but I think it’s fine. The fluff of it makes up for it haha. Thank you so so much for this request! It was super fun to write. As for everyone else that has sent a request, I have a few more in my inbox that I will be trying to get to pretty soon. Somehow life is still managing to be busy, even with everything going on. I promise I haven’t forgotten about them<3

TW: Slight OOC

Type: Fluff

Word Count: 1,234

You’ve known Connor for about a year

You met online

Honestly, neither of you remember how

All of a sudden you were just best friends

You would text all the time

And when you weren’t texting you were on facetime

It ended up being a nightly thing

Both of you constantly looked forward to it

Some days it was the only thing you cared about

Connor became like a drug that you couldn’t get enough of

You couldn’t pinpoint exactly what it was about him

But he was mesmerizing

Maybe it was the way he looked so hard on the outside

But when you got to know him he was one of the nicest people you knew

Or it could be that whenever you call him upset he will sit there and let you rant

He would try his best to comfort you

And to take away all of your pain

Just like how you always do the same for him

Or maybe it was the way he said your name

Like it was the prettiest word ever to touch his lips

Or it could have been the way he looks when he falls asleep on the phone

All of the hurt and stress of life slowly fading away with the slowing of his breath

Whatever it was

You knew you couldn’t get enough of it

You were slowly falling for your best friend

And you had never even met him in person

But it was clear he was the one that you cared about more than anything

So when your parents told you that your dad got a job promotion

And that you had to move across the country

To the same area that Connor lived in

You couldn’t believe it

It all felt like a dream

It took everything in you not to text him instantly

But you decided it would be best to keep it a secret

For now

Until it was real

And you knew for certain it was happening

Fast forward

You had just barely moved into your new house

90% of your stuff was all still in boxes scattered around the newly filled house

You were ripping through box after box in your room

Trying to find the perfect outfit for the start of school tomorrow

You still hadn’t told Connor

He knew you had moved

But he didn’t know where

You had kept it a secret

You had a plan

The next day you woke up super early so you could get ready

Everything had to be perfect

While getting dressed your phone buzzed

Connor texted you

Saying he already knew today was going to be a bad day

“Well lucky for you I have a surprise for you today”

You texted back while heading out the door on your way to your new school

You were anxious for so many reasons

One being it was the first day of senior year 

And the fact that you knew no one

Well

Almost no one

While walking through the halls you spotted a tall lanky boy with silky long hair

Out of all of the noise in the busy school halls

All you could focus on was his voice

It was so relieving to finally hear it without the lag of shitty wifi

It was him

It was Connor

The boy you had known so much about

Finally, you got to see him in person

Pulling out your phone you text him

“You ready for that surprise? Look behind you :)”

As soon as his phone buzzed in his pocket he pulled it out and read the text

His head whipped up

Looking all around

Until his eyes landed on yours

He froze

After a moment he started pushing through the crowd to finally stand next to you

“Surprise”

You said with slight jazz hands

“This can’t be real”

“I told you I was moving, remember?”

“Yeah, but you didn’t tell me where!”

“I wanted to surprise you and I guess it worked”

A small smile formed on both of your faces

“Are we going to hug or are we both just going to stand here and stare at each other..?”

He instantly scooped you up into his arms

The smell of weed and old spice fill your nose

His tight embrace was cut short as a passerby yelled at you two

“Damn I didn’t know the freak had such a hot girlfriend. I might just need to take her for a spin after I beat the shit out of you after school”

He was talking directly to Connor trying to get a reaction out of him

Which worked

You could see that behind Connor’s eyes he was hurt

But his exterior didn’t show it

Connor mumbled something under his breath and tried to pull you away from the situation

But you stopped dead in your tracks

“Are you really going to let this guy talk to you like that?”

You said to Connor

Going up to the bully you started going off on him

You looked him dead in the eye and told him to fuck off

That Connor was a nice person if anyone had the decency to actually get to know him then they would know that

And that the reason Connor puts on the front of the bad kid was because of people like him that made him that way

Eventually, the warning bell rang and the small crowd around you dispersed

You turned away from the bully and asked Connor to show you to your new class

You were back to your bubbly self

Connor practically had whiplash from how quickly you went from telling that guy off to how sweet you normally were

“What the fuck was that?”

“What was what?” You asked innocently

“You never told me that you have such a short fuse.”

“I only do when I need one, and I sure as hell wasn’t gonna let that guy call you names like that.”

“Wait. Did you actually mean all that shit? You think I’m a good person?”

“Of course I do Con. I wouldn’t love you if you weren’t a good person.”

Connor stopped walking

As you kept going

“You love me?” Connor whispered

The realization hit of what you had just said

“Oh god, that’s not what I meant. I mean it is. Only if you do too. But otherwise, it’s platonic. I think.”

You were tripping over your words

Anxiety slowly filling your body

You started to panic slightly

But Connor knew what to do

And without the restraints of a screen in front of you two

He could actually do it

He came up to you and gently held your hands

He told you what you had been wanting to hear since you met

“I love you too, Y/N Y/L/N. I always have. I know you just moved here, but I want to try this out and see if it can work if you do too.”

You practically fell into Connor's arms

“I would love that Con”

The final bell rings indicating it was time for your first class at your new school

Connor could see the slight panic in your eyes

“It will be okay Y/N.”

And with that

He plants the lightest kiss on the back of your hand and walks away

You could tell that this was the start of something wonderful

[lovelylunarwriting]

Yangyang Prince!AU

Yangyang’s known around the kingdom as less of a prince and more of “the king and queen’s child”

He’s just not the princely type??? He 10/10 looks like a prince and -33/10 acts like one

While some royalty just have that "aura” about them,,,, Yangyang does not

But that’s not a bad thing! He’s incredibly approachable as a person

Not a soul would dare to address him as anything but “Prince”, though, for fear of him overhearing and being like “excuse me what the fuck did you call me”

While the country itself adores the prince and his natural personality, the king and queen take issue with his “lack of royal precedent” and hold him to a ridiculously high standard.

He doesn’t seem to let this dampen his spirit, though. Whenever local newspapers ask him about it, he always says “I’m firstborn and in line to the throne. There’s not much they can do about it regardless if I keep filling the courtyard fountains with soap so that they bubble. Who doesn’t like bubbles?”

Deep down though it takes more of a toll on him. In his eyes, it’s like his parents are saying he isn’t good enough to be king one day.

The reality is that they’re just worried that being in charge of the nation will stress him out like it has them, and they want to prepare him the best they can.

To prepare him for his eventual role, they send Yangyang into the nearby villages to meet with traders from other nations who want to open up shop in the many marketplaces.

Yangyang’s nation is known for their vast and varying markets because they’ll let just about anyone open a business as long as a member of the royal family approves it.

They go about doing this in two ways:

One, they can request an audience with the king and queen and they’ll write up a contract. The king is pretty much there for show, the queen is really the one who’s built this trade empire.

Or, two, if the person is in a rush they can schedule to meet with Prince Yangyang in town and plead their case to him. If he thinks it’s an extenuating circumstance, they essentially get a “Prince Fast-Pass” and receive an immediate audience with the king and queen. 

For example, he had one woman who was a refugee from a war-torn nation across the continent and she came to their country to open up a shop to provide for her and her four kids. Yangyang was like “that sucks, I’m sorry. Do you wanna talk to my mom about it?” and personally escorted her to the palace.

You have been in this market for a  h o t minute though. You got your audience with the king and queen when you were like,,,, twelve?? And you’ve been selling your family’s farms produce ever since.

One of your parents would’ve gone to the audience but there was a Very Serious Ladybug Problem going on with the tomatoes so they sent you instead (the queen was surprised but you presented a fair argument for the business,,,, she had no reason to say no)

So you set up your market every week, Monday through Friday. The weekends are for helping around at home (and sleeping off the work week, of course)

This season’s harvest hasn’t been nearly as plentiful as the previous. It’s not that there’s a shortage necessarily, just that the last season’s harvest was abnormally abundant. 

Which of course means you’ll have to sell pretty much all of it to get a similar profit to last year while keeping the same standard prices (raising the prices wouldn’t be fair to your loyal customers)

“Guess there goes my Saturdays, then…”, you mumble to yourself, deciding to open up the extra day in order to sell every single tomato, carrot, and head of lettuce even if it kills you.

The first Saturday of the season comes and goes with no trouble, and so does the next.

But the third week. That’s when you notice him.

The pickpocket in the bright yellow shoes.

He weaves his way through the crowd with elegance and ease, reaching out here and there, plucking items from stalls, pockets, and displays,  slowly putting them in his pockets.

You find yourself entranced, staring at him slip through stall after stall.

That is until he steps up to yours.

He glances up, making eye contact with you, and flinches.

Apparently your glare was most apparent than you’d intended.

You don’t say anything though and neither does he. He just smirks at you and makes his way to the next stall.

Your eyes follow him and you see him swipe a pair of earrings off the man’s table to your left.

You might’ve said something but:

1.) That particular jeweler is a creep to the women in town so he deserves to be robbed in your opinion, and 

2.) If you snitch on some thief, that only makes you a target to whoever the thief is associated with. You don’t know if he’s got some thuggish friends and you’re not looking for a fight.

That is unless he decides to try and steal from you. Then he better be as good as fighting as he is pickpocketing.

After this initial encounter, you honestly forget about him.

That is until a few months later, when you spot a flash of bright yellow in the massive crowd on another Saturday morning rush.

You fumble to make change for the person buying three dozen heads of lettuce, trying to find his distinctly soft face in the sea of people.

At first you think you’ve lost him, until the lady buying out all your lettuce moves one of her bags and you see him snatch an apple from the barrel in front of your table.

Blinding hot rage sparks its way down your neck and shoulders, and without even thinking you shove the change into the woman’s hands and slide over the table.

The crook looks behind him just in time for you to grab him by the collar and drag him into the nearest alley.

The shock in his eyes is clear and although he tries to fight back, he can’t break your hold.

You shove him up against the brick wall of the alley and ask him one very important question.

“Who the fuck do you think you are?”

He kind of just makes a weird gurgling sound though because your knuckles are pressing into his trachea.

You loosen your grip a little and look at him expectantly.

“I’m the Prince-”, he starts, but you cut him off because listen you might not be rich but you’re not stupid.

“Bullshit. And you can keep that apple, but you better hope I never catch you stealing from me again”, you say, throwing him by the front of his shirt even further into the alley and storming back to your booth.

Once you gather your bearings, you think about the encounter.

You can’t pinpoint what it is that pisses you off so much about this guy in particular. There’s always been thieves in the market, it’s practically part of the system at this point.

But there’s always been one thing about the thieves that made you understand in a way, why they steal.

They almost always steal food and it’s because they need it. For themselves and probably their families. And you can’t find it in yourself to fault them for that.

But this bright-shoed bandit? He looks like he’s never missed a meal in his life. He’s got full cheeks, tan skin, toned muscles, and is missing that look of sheer desperation that’s in the eyes of all the thieves you’ve encountered thus far.

The only thing in this boy’s eyes is arrogance. And something else you can’t quite identify yet.

Sunday passes and you try to relax, but remembering that encounter just irks you.

Mom: “Y/N,,,, what are you doing”

You: “I’M GONNA GO PLOW THE FIELDS”

Mom: “Why would you do that by hand?? We have an ox for that??”

You: “Because I’m pissED oFF okaY”

It’s not until Monday that you hear the townspeople gossip like crazy about something that happened at the Sunday Market.

Even the vendors are talking about it instead of the usual small talk with customers.

“Did you hear? The prince rode into the marketplace on horseback yesterday”

“Hear? I was there! He made such a big scene!”

“Apparently he was looking for someone but he didn’t even know their name”

“Typical Prince Yangyang- he’s always up to something crazy. He’s such a lovely sight though~”

This goes on for hours and towards the end of the day you swear if you hear one more thing about “PriNcE YaNgyaNg anD hiS goRgEous faCe” or “PrinCe YanGyaNg aNd hiS sTeaMy mUScleS”, you might actually just close up shop and leave early.

At first it was interesting, but everyone’s repeating the same thing for h o u r s

Except for the man you’re currently selling tomatoes to.

“Yeah it wasn’t hard tah miss him with those bright ass shoes ah his”

Your whole body jolts and you drop the change the man just set in your hand.

Apologizing, you scramble to pick it all up and drop the coins on the table.

“What do you mean ‘bright ass shoes’, sir?”, you ask, your demeanor becoming physically tense.

“You know the kid loves collecting those new kinds ah shoes, right? ‘Sneakers’ or whaddeva ya call em? They’re all the rage in the next kingdom ovah, he musta gotten em imported from there-”, the man drones on and on, whilst you continue to panic.

“Sir please, what color were they?”

“Oh they were yellow like you wouldn’t believe! Brighter than the sun itself, and- hey! Where are you going?”

You hand the man his bag of tomatoes, grab what little produce is left and close down shop. If the prince comes back again today he could have you thrown in jail for treason for the way you spoke to him.

Everything's in the horse-drawn cart and you’re pretty much ready to go until you remember you left the change on the table.

Cursing to yourself, you abandon the cart for a brief moment and rush back to grab the money, but right as you reach for it, someone grabs your wrist.

Without thinking, you twist their arm around and pin them face first into the table.

Some of the coins fall off from the sudden impact and as your eyes follow them down…. you notice the man’s yellow shoes.

You quickly release him,,,, this thief,,,, the prince

As he slowly turns around, you contemplate whether you should request execution by hanging or guillotine….

But when he sees that it’s you, he just starts laughing.

Not like a maniacal “aha I’ve got you noW peasaNT” kind of laugh like you’d expect though. A genuine laugh from this boy.

From this p r i n c e

All instincts are telling you to bolt and just move to a different marketplace but,,,, you wanna know what this guy’s deal is.

Curiosity getting the better of you, you talk to him.

“Your Royal Highness”, you say in a sarcastic tone.

“Ah, so you believe me now? What’s changed?”, he asks and his voice sounds like honey. For some reason you’d expected him to be harsher.

“Your prance around town yesterday has been all anyone’s talking about today, Prince of Thieves”, you explain with disinterest dripping from your mouth.

“Prince of Thieves? I am prince of this nation, I’ll have you know”, he says and there’s that look in his eyes again that you can’t quite pin down.

“Then act like it”, you say with a certain degree of malice, and storm off to your horse and cart, leaving the money behind. It’s not worth it to grab it.

His eyes widen and he just stands there for a moment before chasing after you.

“Just- wait a minute!”, he shouts, running up behind you and putting a hand on your shoulder.

You grab his wrist, pulling him forward onto your back, and then flip him over onto the ground.

Once he’s down, you pin him down with your hands on his wrists and a knee on either side of his hips.

“I don’t care that you’re the prince. Your title means nothing to me. I care that you’re a thief. You steal from people who actually need money to live, and why? For the thrill of it? Grow up. If you want people to call you Prince then you better start acting like one”, you lay into him, letting all your frustration with him out at once.

You expect him to get angry with you. Maybe even yell. But he just looks,,,, sad. A little defeated, if anything.

“That’s not why I came here”

“You’re right, let me get off you so you can go pickpocket my customers”, you say, standing up and brushing the dirt off your pant legs.

“No, I came here looking for you. That’s why I came here yesterday, too”, he says, getting up and stepping between you and your horse. “Please, I need your help”

You take a deep breath in and out.

“My help with what exactly?”

“You fight like no one I’ve ever seen before. I need you to teach me”, he explains.

“Isn’t that what you have the knights for?”, you ask.

“They go easy on me. They’re worried if they hurt me while practicing, they’ll be fired by my mom”

“I don’t see why they’re concerned about hitting you in the face. It’s practically all I can think about right now”, you say nonchalantly.

“Wow okay- I could’ve gone without knowing that. But what do you say? Will you teach me? You’ve already showed me like three moves, just,,,, not on purpose I guess”

And for some reason,,,,, maybe because you’re lowkey worried he’ll actually have you hanged,,,,, you say yes.

You tell him it’ll have to be on Sundays and that he’ll have to come down to the family farm because “there’s no way in hell I’ll fight you that close to the queen’s wrath”

When you meet with him that Sunday though, he’s actually,,, quite charming??? And very polite to your parents, who were extremely surprised to see the prince on their front step (you might’ve forgotten to tell them about it)

This begins a routine of Prince Yangyang dragging you out of bed at dawn to spar with him in the barn out back behind your house.

The first few times he’d leave in the afternoon saying he “didn’t want to take up too much of your time”

But every time he leaves,,,, you find yourself missing his company.

Listen, he was an ass at first and he’s still an ass but it’s growing on you.

So one day, you ask him if he’d want to stay for dinner. And to your own shock, he immediately agrees.

He banters back and forth with you, makes jokes with your dad, and flatters your mom.

He’s got all of you around his finger and he’s not even trying to. He’s just being himself.

Now every Sunday he still wakes you up at dawn, much to your dismay, but he stays the whole day instead.

You spend the day together sparring, trying to knock each other into the pond, having lighthearted conversations, and getting the produce ready to go to market the next day.

To you, he stopped feeling like a prince a while ago honestly he never felt like a prince to start with but still

He’s your friend Yangyang that you throw into hay bales while teaching him self defense

One of those nights, the two of you are laying on the roof of the barn looking at the stars, when he says that he’d better head back to the castle.

“Can I ask you a question first?”, you ask, sitting up to face him.

“You technically just did”

“Oh shut up, you know what I mean”

“Hit me with it”, he says, closing his eyes and tilting his head back towards the speckled sky.

“Why do you do it?”

“Do what?”

“Why do you steal from the marketplace?”, you finally ask, after silently wondering for months at this point.

“I don’t anymore”, he answers somewhat defensively, opening his eyes to look at you.

“Okay, then why did you?”

“...”

“...you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want….”, you say somewhat resigned.

Over the past month or so, things between the two of you has felt,,,, different.

You’ve been closer than ever, and talk to each other like you’ve known each other for years.

You’d be lying if you said you weren’t falling for him.

But it feels like he’s got a barrier built up between him and the world.

Everything fiber of your being aches to shatter it. For him to feel like he can trust you, even if he can’t trust anyone else.To be special to him the way he’s special to you.

“I needed to do something to break out”, he says after some silence.

“Break out of what?”, you ask, trying to be gentle.

“Out of the box my parents are desperately trying to cram me into. I know they want what’s best for me and the country but,,,, it’s just so much pressure. I needed to do something else- anything else, even if it was stupid”

You scoot over to him and he sits up. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull yourself closer to him.

At first he just sits there, stunned, but then tightly returns the embrace and buries his face in the crook of your neck.

The two of you stay like that for who knows how long, with him getting everything off his chest and you quietly listening and running your fingers through his hair.

From that night onward, the two of you are practically inseparable. 

Neither of you have said that you’re an item,,, and for a while you were like “am I making this shit up or does he like me”.

But one day, he’s sitting behind your booth in the marketplace (like he usually is. You’d think as a prince he’d have more to do,,,), eating all of your apples, when he taps you on the shoulder.

“I’m in the middle of a sale”, you snap, and turn back around to the customer.

When you finish, you turn around and he hands you an apple that is just,,, seeping with juice.

“Yangyang,,, w h y”

“Flip it over!”

So you do, and he’s carved “for my beautiful s/o~” into the side of the apple.

You can’t help but smile at his literally sweet gesture.

But you also can’t help but make direct eye contact with him and bite straight into the carved part of the apple.

The look of horror on his face made your day.

He’s got a habit of making your day everyday, though.

[brittle-bone-gabe]

Patched Up

Summary: After the first meeting with the League of Villains goes wrong, Hari has to stitch up the wound on Kai's forehead, whether he wanted him to or not.

Read on other platforms: AO3, FFN, Wattpad

Needless to say the meeting with the League of Villains didn’t quite turn out how Overhaul expected; he didn’t expect to use his Quirk against one of them, he didn’t expect to lose one of their own to them, and he certainly didn’t expect to get bashed in the skull. The trip back to the hideout was silent and longer than usual to make sure they weren’t being followed, that was the last thing they needed right now. The situation needed to cool off, even though Overhaul was the one to tell the League of Villains that he wasn’t sure if he could hold himself to that if they tried a sneak attack on them. The entire way back, the gash on his forehead didn’t stop bleeding, meaning he was going to need stitches. Wonderful. 

Even though the wound should have been Overhaul’s top priority, he was more worried about how filthy he was, as he was covered in dust, blood, and had people touching him. Disgusting. The last thing he needed was to become even more sick than he already was, coming to terms that since he had a Quirk he was, in fact, always sick. Not as sick as those who wanted to use their Quirks to be heroes or big time villains, but still sick. 

As much as Hari wanted to ask Kai how he was feeling and give him some comfort on the ordeal back with the League of Villains he knew better than to do it in front of the others. It wasn’t like they weren’t aware of their relationship, but that didn’t mean Kai could do whatever he wanted, he still had a reputation to uphold, meaning that they couldn’t show any feelings in a professional setting. It was rather unfortunate as Hari could tell how uncomfortable Kai was from the encounter. 

The second they made it back to the hideout Overhaul ordered everyone to get away from him, nobody took it to heart knowing how he got whenever any job got dirty. He went down the hallway with Hari following behind him in silence as they went to their room so Kai could get away from everyone else. While they were walking, Hari reached out to Kai, gently removing Kai’s bloody jacket, throwing it over his shoulder. It was a small gesture, but it made Kai feel understood. His entire life people told him he was overreacting over being touched or getting dirty, even when they saw him breakout it was ‘not a big deal.’ Meeting Hari and having him validate his emotions and working with his phobia was the best thing that happened to him.

Kai silently opened the door to their bedroom, taking a seat on the lone chair in the room so he wouldn’t get their bed dirty. He buried his face in his hands, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. How did today go so wrong? It was expected that it wouldn’t have gone 100% as Kai planned, that’s why he brought all the backup, but he had no intention of going in there to kill anybody. That was honestly the last thing he wanted to do, given the aftermath on his Quirk when having to use it in close combat. 

“...so you had a rough day,” Hari finally said to break the silence, placing the jacket on their dresser so he could remember to wash it later. 

“And you missed a shot,” Kai snapped back, looking up from his hands. He would grow to regret his snarky comment, but right now he couldn’t control his filter. 

“Well…” Hari shrugged, trying to ignore the comment as he knew that he didn’t mean it, “hard to pinpoint an accurate shot when your target is moving, huh?”  

Kai let out a frustrated sigh, sitting back in the chair. He wiped the blood out of his eye, the wound’s bleeding started to slow down a little bit but was still going at it, confirming that it was going to need stitches. Stitches were the worst thing to get in Kai’s opinion, they were too easy to get infected. Plus it would leave an ugly scar… 

“Can I look?” Kai was so lost in his thoughts he didn’t even notice Hari was standing next to him. He looked up at him with a bit of a dazed look as if he wasn’t sure what he was referring to. “Your…” Hari tapped his own forehead where the wound on Kai’s was to get his point across. 

“It’s fine.” 

“It’s still bleeding.” 

“...It’s fine. Don’t touch me.” 

Hari held his hands up slightly to show that he wasn’t going to harm or touch him, even though he didn’t make any moves that indicated that he was going to touch him, but whatever. 

“I’m not, I’m not.” Hari paused for a second. “Do you want anything?” 

Again, Kai went silent, not purposely ignoring Hari, but because he was lost in his thoughts again, reflecting on what he could’ve done to prevent what happened today. It was obvious their leader wasn’t up for the leadership position, from their small interaction Kai could pick up that he was rather childish and immature. How could anyone follow someone like that? They needed someone like him who had a plan and could lead them in the right direction. He had the plan, they had the resources… What was the problem? 

Kai jumped upon feeling the cool washcloth gently running over his forehead, that certainly shook him out of his thoughts. How zoned out had he’d been that he didn’t even notice Hari going into their bathroom to get the washcloth? As much as Kai wanted to push him away and yell at him for touching him he didn’t, that wouldn’t help solve anything, besides, he didn’t like doing that to Hari it wasn’t fair. 

“I told you I was fine…” Kai mumbled, resisting the urge to swat his arm away. 

“And I know you’re not fine,” Hari countered, moving the cloth from his forehead to wipe the blood from his eye and face. “You…” Hari let out a defeated sigh, dropping his arm, he could feel Kai glaring at him. “I told you before that there’s nothing wrong with asking for help-”

“But I didn’t ask for help, I can do things by myself.” 

Why was it so difficult for Kai to ask for help? Well… because he wasn’t the helpless little kid he used to be before the Boss took him in. He was more than capable of taking care of himself and watching his own back. Yeah… right. If it weren’t for the Eight Bullets tonight then Overhaul may have gotten himself killed instead of one of the disposables. 

Hari couldn’t help but scoff, rolling his eyes. “Oh, really? You’re going to stitch that up yourself?” Humoring himself in a way, he was waiting for Kai to snap back at him, but he didn’t. In fact, he was looking rather miserable right now. “Kai?” Hari started again, “do you need help with that?” 

Normally Hari wouldn’t hesitate to get started on patching Kai up, but when he was in a bad mood like this it was unpredictable of what he would do. Maybe he’d silently take the help or push him away. Neither of those outcomes were ideal since usually if he was silent he was holding in his anger, a habit that he refuses to break, no matter how many times Hari told him that bottling emotions wasn’t healthy. 

“...Fine,” Kai huffed, folding his arms over his chest, sitting back in his chair. 

“Are you sur-”

“Yes!” He snapped, looking away from Hari, who stood up to get the first aid kit. 

It was amazing how much Hari could handle when Kai was in this type of mood, the majority of people in relationships wouldn’t put up with it, but then again most people weren’t dating the captain of the Shie Hassaikai and couldn’t imagine what stress he was going through. That didn’t automatically make it okay, but it was an explanation for it. Emotions were an in the moment type of thing, something that Kai never learned to fully control; for the longest time Kai buried his emotions and refused to show them, the moment he began to express them is when they took control of his mind. When they took control it was hard for him to calm down and think things through. 

A moment after the sink turned off from the bathroom was when Hari walked back into the room wearing latex gloves, the needle driver and the needle in his hands. It wouldn’t take long for him to patch Kai up, only two or three stitches at least to get the wound closed up.

“My hands are clean, see?” Hari held up his gloved hands before Kai asked about them, the last thing he needed from this was an infection. Kai let out a deep, defeated sigh, either he’d get an infection from the stitches or from not getting it treated, so either way he couldn’t seem to win. “It’s not so bad, I promise.” 

He moved to stand over Kai, using the knuckle of his index finger to tilt his chin up slightly so he could see at a better angle. The cool washcloth once again ran over Kai’s forehead to catch and clean up the new blood oozing from the wound. Kai was lucky that Hari knew how to do stitches, he wouldn’t take the help from anybody else. Maybe from a licensed doctor, he wouldn’t risk going to a doctors office or a hospital, the chances of him getting sick would jump significantly. 

Hari got to work right away so as not to upset Kai by taking too long, he had barely flinched when the needle was pushed through his skin. The last thing they needed was him getting antsy while a needle was so close to his eye. 

“Two stitches, that’s it,” Hari updated as he secured the knot of the first stitch. Great. They were halfway done. 

“I know what you’re thinking…” Kai mumbled, looking up at Hari, who had no idea what he was talking about. 

“What?” He tried to keep focused on what he was doing, but he could feel Kai’s piercing golden eyes looking through him like daggers and it began to make him feel nervous. “You have no idea what I’m thinking.” 

“You think I can’t take care of myself.” 

Kai’s words took Hari back, he had no idea what he was talking about or where it even came from. Not once did Hari say or even imply that Kai couldn’t take care of himself, he knew he could, very well, in fact. Hari could only chuckle in response. 

“I’m pretty sure you’re overthinking again,” he commented. Kai hummed as if he didn’t believe him, shifting his eyes to focus on the wall from the opposite side of the room. “You know I don’t think that at all.”

“Didn’t you just say I have no idea what you’re thinking?”

Whether or not Kai was thinking out loud or purposely trying to piss him off Hari couldn’t tell, but it was doing exactly that.

“You forget I’m the one holding the needle,” Hari calmly reminded him. As much as he wanted to jab the needle as hard as he could into Kai’s skull over that comment he somehow restrained himself.

“Despite what you think, I’m completely capable of taking care of myself.” The tension on his forehead where Hari began to tie up the final stitch felt more intense, it wasn’t long before he let out a surprise yelp as Hari purposely finished tying up the knot tighter and more aggressive than he could have. “What?” Kai asked, feeling the area around the stitches without actually touching them. 

“I don’t think that. I know you can handle yourself, I’ve seen how you’ve grown and how hard you’ve worked to get where you are now.” 

Kai didn’t say anything, there was nothing he could say and he knew fully well that he had more to go off on. 

“They were stupid not to make a deal with you today. You’re more than capable of taking charge and making plans.” 

Hari slipped off the slightly blood stained gloves, stuffing them in his pocket before reaching out to put a hand on Kai’s head, bringing him closer until his face was resting against his chest. Kai knew he had to stop letting his emotions and overthinking cause such a strain on their relationship, it wasn’t fair for Hari to put up with this. 

“I’m…” Kai trailed off before he could fully apologize, something he also had trouble doing, even when it mattered. 

“It’s okay. I forgive you.”

[leejihoonownsmyheart]

Sweet Tooth

Summary: 

The one where you have known Jihoon forever and suddenly you are eating candy all the time constantly for no apparent reason and neither of you can pinpoint why

University Au

3k+ words

-

“Okay, okay, I don’t get it,” Jihoon mumbled into his hand. You glanced over at him from where you sat on the other end of the room, your nose scrunching slightly. He pointed at his computer screen. “Is the essay due tomorrow or today?”

You let your head fall to the side giving him a cute little raise of your eyebrows.

“The essay is due tomorrow. The outline is due today,” you replied pointedly. Jihoon grunted.

“What outline?” He blurted. You laughed at him, setting your computer to the side as you got to your feet and wandered over to him.

“I swear, what would you do if I wasn’t here?” You asked. You climbed up onto the couch and without a second word practically climbed into his lap to get good access to his laptop. It made Jihoon’s cheeks redden slightly, but he tried not to say anything about it as you messed around with the files on his computer.

Jihoon had been best friends with you since high school. You two spent pretty much all of your time together- whether you were studying or just messing around it was always the two of you. People would joke that it was strange whenever you two weren’t together.

Well, really, they just joked that it was strange whenever Jihoon wasn’t with you. You were friends with a lot of people. Boys, girls, friends that Jihoon was friends with and friends that he was not friends with. You were ridiculously social, and in the very few brief moments in which you weren’t being social, Jihoon was the only one who got to see you.

Meanwhile, Jihoon was the polar opposite. He hated unnecessary social interaction. Preferred solitude to company most days, and in moments when he didn’t prefer it, he certainly wasn’t going to waste his time with people he knew didn’t really want to be his friend. Most people wanted him for his appearance, or his talent, or what they thought he could do for them.

You were so much simpler than that. You saw a boy who didn’t have as many friends as you thought he ought to have, and because of that, you started to approach him. When he initially thought your kindness wasn’t genuine, you forced him to see the world through your eyes.

And from that first moment- when you proudly called his name out across a crowded room exclaiming: “that’s my friend!” even as it granted you weird looks- Jihoon knew that you were going to be his everything. He’d like you since month one.

You were sweet, and just the ray of sunlight he had always wanted in his life.

Anytime he felt down, you could single-handedly bring him back up again. You gave him inspiration, a reason to keep going.

And while he knew you didn’t feel the same way about him, he still loved to be around you.

“So, you just follow this paper here and you’ll turn your outline in on… this and viola an A for everyone’s favorite producer,” you cheered. Jihoon rolled his eyes as you pulled up off of him. Your cheeks were rosy, for a reason that Jihoon wasn’t sure, but it wasn’t anything he was too surprised by. Your face was always showing emotions that Jihoon wasn’t sure about. Emotions he couldn’t read.

He’d figured out that there were emotions that your face portrayed that Jihoon just couldn’t understand. At least, not yet. So, he kept quiet when the color spread over your face, and your nose scrunched. You turned from him, in a way that he could no longer see the adorable look that you were wearing, and you began to rummage through your bag until your fingers found something that crinkled softly.

When Jihoon looked back over at you, he found that you were now unwrapping a candy bar with your fingers. He scoffed and grabbed the candy bar from your mouth before you could take a bite. You opened your mouth to protest it but before you could, Jihoon was chiding you- something he felt like he did a lot of recently.

“You’ve been spending too much time with Hansol. You’re going to get cavities,” he mumbled. You sat back on your heels and pouted at him.

“Give it back Jihoon. Why do you just assume that because I’m eating candy bars a little more often than usual-”

“Twix bars,” Jihoon interrupted. “You know, just Hansol’s favorite candy bar-”

“Doesn’t mean that I’ve been spending too much time with Hansol-” You finished, fixing Jihoon with a glare. Jihoon rolled his eyes and wrapped the chocolate in a napkin.

“It’s like I can’t catch you without candy in your mouth anymore,” Jihoon replied pointedly.

“I’ve always liked candy,” you mumbled. “I haven’t been eating more than usual.”

That made Jihoon frown deeply at you.

“Oh really?” He mumbled. “You ate a bag of candy corn while we studied yesterday, three candy bars while we were all hanging out last Saturday, you had a sucker in your mouth in every class we shared for the last two months and your roommates tell me that you went out in the middle of the night multiple times the last few days in order to get candy from the store.”

Your bottom lip jutted out and you opened your mouth to protest the words only to stop after a moment. Jihoon watched as your eyes turned to the side, thinking over the evidence he had laid out before you.

“Okay so I might be eating a little more candy than usual,” you mumbled. Your hand raised nervously to your face and the tip of your finger disappeared into your mouth. He could see you chewing on it in thought and before he let his mind go off the rails too much about how he wished his lips could be on yours in place of your hand he swatted your hand down.

“Don’t chew on your fingernails,” he mumbled annoyed. “It’s bad for you.”

Your pout deepened.

“You know I can’t help it, I’m thinking,” you mumbled, but you obediently kept your hands down in your lap. “You know it’s not like me to snack all the time like this unless something is up.”

You trailed off, and most people would assume that it was because you were done speaking. But Jihoon knew that wasn’t so. You had this tendency to say things before you were done thinking about what you wanted to say. Your brain moved from topic to topic in a way that when things got too overwhelming for you to comprehend it made your words come out slower. Your phrases seemed less coherent and thought out. You needed time to piece everything you were feeling together.

Jihoon was patient. He thought it was cute when you got lost inside yourself. Your eyebrows would furrow just so, and your eyes would stick to a single spot like your life depended on it. You opened your mouth like you were about to speak only to close it a moment later.

“I can’t…” You sighed your frustration. “I can’t figure out what’s different. I shouldn’t be eating this much. I’m not stressed out about anything.”

Jihoon shrugged uncertainly, his eyes refusing to move from where they were focused on you. You met his gaze after a moment, seeming to be lost in some idea. Your hands raised up to your mouth again- your fingertip about to go back to it’s former position but then Jihoon simply raised an eyebrow and they dropped back down.

“Ah, it’s probably nothing. We can’t all be healthy all the time,” you mumbled dismissively. You got back up to your feet and trudged back over to your things, settling yourself back down on the floor in the corner. You pulled your feet up underneath your body and began to type away at your keyboard- likely getting a head start on whatever assignment you guys had to do for class.

Jihoon smiled.

You were such a hard worker.

He turned his attention back down to his own work and began to work on what he had settled out before him.

-

Jihoon couldn’t say he was surprised when he saw you hanging out with Hansol between classes one day, but it was still enough of a scene that it made him stop right where he was standing. He tilted his head to the side observing the way you huddled close to the other boy, burying yourself against him as you tried to escape the freezing cold.

Unsurprisingly you had neglected to wear a jacket that day- a common trait of yours was to wear more clothes in the summer and less clothes in the winter for no reason at all other than “I just felt like wearing a T-shirt.”

Jihoon knew you lived to regret it, but that was a fact that he knew you would never admit. You were too stubborn for that. You liked to be in charge of your own well-being. It was special when you admitted small things like the fact that you were genuinely a little cold to a person.

Jihoon used to be one of the only people you were honest too.

It wasn’t that you didn’t ever try to lie to him. You had. He just never saw through it, so you quit.

You and Hansol were something different.

You two fell together like pieces of a puzzle.

While you and Jihoon were polar opposites, you and Hansol were practically the same person.

Quite honestly sometimes it was a little freaky.

You two knew everything about each other, you could read the other like a book. You weren’t afraid to jump on his back (quite literally) and he didn’t mind scooping you up into his arms and swinging you around a room in victory. He knew when to touch you and went to hold back and he knew when to scream your way and when to keep his mouth shut.

He knew you just as well as Jihoon did in a whole different way and you had only just met him.

Of course, Jihoon was happy that you two were getting along so well. That was why he had introduced you two after all. So that you two would get along.

But sometimes he thought that you two were rubbing off on each other in the worst ways possible.

For instance, your candy obsession.

He watched as you picked a candy bar up off of the table and took a bite from it. He sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets, making his way over to the two of you.

You were both so lost in whatever you two were watching that you guys didn’t even notice him approaching. He didn’t say a word. He took the candy bar from your hands, lightly swatted your head and promptly walked away without another word.

He started stealing the sweets you were harboring whenever he saw you, and he was beginning to get quite the little collection of every little bag of sweets he happened to collect off of you. The starburst jellybeans, the skittles, the snickers bars, the bags of Reese’s chocolate, the dark chocolate you had been collecting, the caramels, the suckers, even the bags of m&m’s- you didn’t even like m&m’s.

“Seriously, I thought you were going to cut down on the candy,” Jihoon berated. You sighed, shoving your hands into your back pocket.

“I can’t help it!” You exclaimed right back, reaching helplessly for the bag of rock candy pieces that he had taken from you. “I have this knot in my stomach, I just want something sweet in my mouth. Please let me have it back.”

“You’re going to gain weight,” Jihoon said with a sigh. “You know I don’t care, but you care and I don’t want you to be all upset and stressed in a month because you gained like two pounds.”

You stopped trying to grab the bag of candy and sighed.

“I won’t gain any weight I’ve been exercising quite a bit!” You protested softly. “And I can’t imagine rock candy has many calories in it.”

“It’s pure sugar,” Jihoon reminded. “Honestly, you’re like a child. What’s going on with you?”

You sighed, wrinkling your nose at the question. Your eyes lowered to the ground and you shuffled your feet back and forth as you got lost in your thoughts again. Your fingers danced across your pants and you pursed and unpursed your lips- something you liked to remind him that you got from him.

“I still can’t…” You trailed off again and looked up at Jihoon. Once again when you caught him staring your cheeks reddened deeply. You looked down at the ground. “Jesus, there goes my train of thought.”

That was the thing that cued Jihoon in on what might be the problem.

However impossible it seemed there was one explanation towards what could be leaving you so anxious.

See, Jihoon had asked around, and you didn’t snack as much when you were around them. In their classes, you laid off the food and you didn’t consume extreme amounts of sugar or pick at your fingers, or any of the sort.

“You eat when you’re around the people that your closest to. Me, Hansol, and your roommates,” he began. “Recently, you’ve been really high-strung around me. You stay really far away from me when we are in rooms together, you jump a little at every little touch.”

You seemed to think over his words.

“You’re right,” you mumbled in surprise. “What is with that? Hansol is always teasing me about you and so are my roommates! But…”

Your fingers tangled themselves in your hair, and you wrinkled your nose again.

“Why are you stressing me out?”

Jihoon reached forward, seeming to surprise you as you jumped slightly. His fingers brushed yours carefully and after letting you get used to his touch for a moment he intertwined his fingers with yours.

Your eyes widened at the touch and he raised his other hand, carefully placing it just under your collarbone beneath your shirt. His fingers must have been cold because you shivered, but you didn’t withdraw from him.

“This okay?” He mumbled.

You nodded once.

“Y-Yeah, but, I’m still not following,” you admitted, your voice a little shaky. It made him smile, a very small soft smile.

“I’m feeling your heart rate,” he mumbled with a small laugh.

He was silent for a second, and then he leaned forward, resting his head right beside his hand to try and hear your heart. He laughed.

He had always thought the idea of someone’s heart rate increasing just because they liked someone was ridiculous but realized he had been wrong about that when he heard the way that your heart was beating. When he felt the way it increased as he rested his ear on you. He pulled back, smiling at you as he led your hand up to where he was.

“Feel for yourself.”

He pressed your hand to your chest and stared at you as you felt your own heart pumping against it.

He liked being this close to you. He had never realized that before, but he really liked being this close to you.

He watched as your eyes grew wide.

“Oh my gosh,” you mumbled.

You raised your gaze to meet his.

“I have a crush you,” you said in surprise at the same time as Jihoon said: “You have a crush on me.”

Even though your face reddened as you spoke, you laughed when the words left your mouth. It made Jihoon laugh a little too.

“I can’t believe you figured out I had a crush on you before I did,” you mumbled. You unraveled yourself from the mess that you two had found yourselves in and curled up in a ball on the couch. “Oh my god, I’m such an idiot. Hansol was right, I can’t believe I like you!” Jihoon couldn’t help but feel a little offended.

“I mean... It’s not that bad, right?” He asked.

“No, it’s awful,” you blurted. “A crush on you? Jesus that’s social suicide.”

Jihoon sat down next to you, putting his hand on your shoulder.

“Why?”

“Because,” you insisted. “It’s you. You are infamous for being cold, and you hate girls, and you’re my best friend and you get so annoyed whenever people ask if we are dating-“

“Because we are not!”  He said in annoyance.

“Yeah, we’re not! And you won’t ever date anybody even if I set them up for you because you are too stubborn-“ You retreated from yourself to flick Jihoon on the forehead. “Seriously, it’s like the idea of someone dating you makes you nauseous and I have a crush on you.”

“I don’t let you set me up because setups are stupid,” Jihoon deflected. “And I don’t date anyone because I like you, you idiot.”

You stared at him like he had said something that made absolutely no sense at all.

“What?”

“I like you I have since high school. That’s why I don’t go on your dates. That’s why I don’t have any other female friends because I like you and I have you and if I have you I don’t need anyone else.”

You scoffed quietly.

“Now that logic is so screwed. Having one female friend doesn’t mean-“ And before you could lecture him more he rolled his eyes, placed one hand on your cheek, the other on the back of your neck. Then without another word he pressed his lips to yours.

For once you didn’t argue with him- you didn’t lecture him or stop him. You just smiled into the kiss, and leaned in, wrapping your arms around his body as you did.

He laughed, pulling away after only a moment.

“Why don’t you take a second to breath there cavities,” he teased when you chased his lips as he pulled away. Your lips fell into that adorable little pout again, and you brushed the hair our of your face.

“You’re such an ass, you know that?” You mumbled. “I can’t believe I just kissed you.”

Jihoon didn’t speak, he just watched you- a large smirk on his face.

“I can’t believe I’m going to kiss you again,” you stated with a roll of your eyes. Jihoon laughed again.

“I get the feeling you're going to be letting me kiss you a lot,” he stated. “You like me, remember?”

“You like me too,” you argued back. A smile graced your lips and you tugged him closer to you by his shirt.

“Oh my god, does this mean… Does this mean that we are going to be dating now? Are we going to go on dates, and like hold hands in public, and be… coupley?” You asked. “I mean I’ve never dated before, you know intimacy freaks me out in large quantities- and is this candy craving just going to go away or am I going to gain a ton of weight while-“

Before you could continue your rant Jihoon kissed you again. You melted into it- of course- but when he pulled away you were giving him a suspicious glare.

“I get the feeling you kiss me to shut me up,” you accused.

“We can address that when we address everything else,” Jihoon stated softly. “But for now… I’ve been imagining what it would feel like to kiss you for about… Three years now and it is everything I ever imagined, so how about we just… Kiss for the next few hours.”

Jihoon placed his hand on your chest again, pressing you back into the couch as he hovered over you.

“I have homework Jihoon,” you mumbled. He kissed you on the lips.

“Homework can wait.”

[lovemesomesurveys]

Are you more of a leader or a follower? It kind of depends. More of a follower, I guess. Or neither. More like just someone who does their own thing. *shrug* It’s hard to explain. Do you know anyone with a profession in law? No. Have you ever Googled yourself? Yeah, a few times for different reasons. I feel like everyone did that back when Google Earth first became thing haha. You could look up various places in the world and we all wanted to look up our own house lmao. I’ve done it for other reasons, too. Like to see where my name might pop up online. Or that thing that’s like, “type your name + [insert something here]” and see what comes up.  Do you have a regular vacation spot, or do you always go somewhere new? There’s a few places my family and I return to often. We have our favorite spots. I’m always done for something different, though. I wish I could do more traveling.  Where were you working 10 years ago? I wasn’t working. I was just attending community college.

… 5 years ago? Still no job. Just graduated UC. … 1 year ago? Nope. Doing nothing now. :/ Would you say you’ve had a good life so far? ”Hey its alright my life has never been a bed of roses. Hey its alright my life has always been a sad emotion.” I’ve had struggles and obstacles throughout my life. It’s been rough. I’ve had good times, though. Fun experiences. Grateful for those times and the things I have been able to do and have. I have been blessed with a very loving and supporting family. They’re honestly what keep me going. What’s the shortest amount of time you’ve had between relationships? After my first boyfriend my sophomore year, there was this guy a couple years later that I was interested in and talking to for awhile. It was a few years after that that I started talking to Joseph.  As a child, what comfort foods did your parents make for you when you were sick with a cold or flu? Lol “as a child” they still take care of me now as a soon to be 31 year old. Anyway, it’s stuff like chicken noodle soup, lightly buttered toast, and 7-Up. I liked Gatorade better when I was younger. What’s something you wish you could have delivered to your house? I could have my favorite foods and coffee delivered if I wanted, but stuff like Postmates and whatnot are expensive.  What’s your favorite art style? There’s various beautiful pieces of different styles. However, I’d lean more towards expressionism and surrealism. One of my favorite pieces is The Scream by Edvard Munch. What time period is considered to be your country’s ‘golden age?’ 1950s-1970s.  How many trees are there in your yard? We have a couple in our backyard. What are some of your favorite ways to de-stress? ASMR, surveys, coloring, reading, listening to music, and watching TV. Sleep is especially great. Have you ever done LSD? No. What’s currently on your grocery list? We have what we need at the moment, thankfully. Are any of your coworkers currently out on maternity/paternity leave? I don’t have coworkers. Would you be able to pinpoint Milwaukee on an unlabeled map? No. What is your favorite parody movie? The Scary Movie series haha. What kind of first impression do you hope others have of you? It’s likely a bad one. Do you have a good sense of balance? Hell no. I can’t even ride a bike :( What is your least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate. Does your car have heated seats? I don’t have a car of my own, but no my parents’ and brother’s cars don’t. What’s something that has been in your local news lately? Everything coronavirus related of course just like all over the world. What’s your favorite internet meme? Baby Yoda memes right now. They make me smile. What hair length suits you the best? I like having long hair. What is the strangest pizza topping you’ve ever eaten? I’m a simple gal, give me feta and ricotta cheese, crumbled meatballs, spinach, and garlic. Pesto sauce on top and white sauce for the main one.   Do you live in a very racially and culturally diverse country? Yes. Can you name any books or movies where all the main characters die? Doesn’t that happen in the Game of Thrones books? I heard characters died left and right. What was the last hotel you stayed at? One in Anaheim. Do you live alone? No.

[whats-the-story-tc]

31st of January, 2020

"The One Where Atlas Stumbles"

[LONG POST WARNING]

Another day, another flannel.

Dreaming with her the second night in a row, I really bloody hoped they hadn't changed the supervising schedule and I'd see her when I come in. And I did. What with my impending two-hour rehearsal instead of my first two classes, Debate Friend and Art Friend being outside and just plainly the sight of V, I was way too giddy. Teasing Debate Friend about me and Art Friend not having to suffer in Physics, making jokes, laughing way too loud. I noticed V turning in our direction, I think I might even have seen her watching us.

As we leave, Debate Friend to class and us to look for the always late A, we pass V and I flash her my biggest smile to greet her. Art Friend and I are back soon enough, chatting, and I tell her "Something always happens when I'm having a good morning." This time it's V passing us. There is something gentle about the way she looks at me. You know that particular look on someone's face when they aren't smiling, but they still look happy? Content is the word for it, maybe. That's the look. Oh, how I wish I wasn't right about what I said...

Break between rehearsals, I'm outside chatting to my friends, most of them about to have class with the new (foreign) English teacher. Bookworm Friend is gushing, what if he's young and just out of college (either of which he isn't), cuz then she's gonna be really good at English. I automatically tell her "he's a whole ass adult and you're a minor, you can't do that" before I realise what I just said basically contradicts what I call my current love life. "Though I am one to speak" I add frowning, and everyone laughs. I really am a bloody clown, aren't I?

English with V, in the very same classroom where I spent two hours crossing my arms, yelling at and threatening one of the boys in my year (that's my character, don't be scared), and falling on my knees over and over again until we got the scene right. V is quite visibly a little worn down, still in the process of finishing what I assume was probably coffee, but powering through class. Metaphors, synesthesia, symbols and the such, what they are and how they work grammatically. After spending two hours the previous night deciphering Biblical parables and breaking them down to metaphors and meanings for a test we didn't even write, I felt ready.

Cynical Twat has his finger bandaged, I think he cut it or something, and thus he can't write. V asks him about it, and when he tells her all that, she's just like "Well, I was never allowed [not to write]." in this half surprised, half jealous kind of way.

The words for pigeon and dove are interchangeable in my mother tounge, as the actual word for dove is quite outdated. And although the metaphor was about a dove, V specified "When we call someone a pigeon, we don't mean that they smell and spread diseases." At the end of class, when somebody asked her how specific we will need to get about recognising these things in writing, she mentioned we will need to know which example is a metaphor or which one is, for example, a symbol, and added "but you will only need to know the exact subtype if you're preparing for an A level", and briefly glanced straight at me before taking a sip of her coffee. I smiled. Challenge accepted.

First lunch break, two people from the other class are rushing towards me the moment they see me, to ask for my Literature textbook. V told them if anyone doesn't have theirs, they're going to have to answer some questions for a grade. Me being me, I gave it to them because, as I told Pocketwatch Friend, "I love V to bits, but I wouldn't want anyone having to answer the questions she asks." Got my book back the next lunch break, as they forgot everyone's having homeroom, and getting their first term report cards.

V and I have a bit of a similar way of walking—long and fast strides, shoulders straight, head held high—so it was a bit funny, both of us heading towards the same door from opposite ends of the corridor. (Though I only really walk like this when I'm confident in myself. It's funny, apparently I do it often enough for it to be noticeable, cuz admittedly, V recognises this walk of mine. It's something she told me at the end of last year, when she mistook someone on the street for me, but realised our hairs were different and that I walk differently.)

As I'm sat in my usual place, head on Pocketwatch Friend's shoulder as I was really tired, I notice that there is something off about V as she's typing away on her laptop. I couldn't exactly pinpoint what, but I felt that something wasn't quite right. The feeling further strengthened when she started the lesson, and I saw her eyes. They looked years older than they did merely three hours before. There was this... deep-rooted exhaustion and sorrow in them, and at first glance, I thought she had cried. She did smile a couple times as far as I remember, and by the end of the lesson, when she showed us some romanticism-period music and art, and we all cracked up on how the cable connecting our projector to her laptop constantly malfunctioned and kept colouring everything to pink, she seemed to be in a lot better mood. That's something I noticed about her in the past two months or so, that she's usually a bit off when she starts class with us, but by the end of it, she's much more calm and feeling better. Not to brag, but I think she likes being with us.

On my way out, as she was telling everyone to put their chairs up, I told her to get some rest as I passed her. She usually doesn't hear these kind of comments because she doesn't want to, but I tried. But, while her "thanks" was probably addressed to the others, she did look me in the eye as she was walking out, me already being outside. There is something gentle about the way she looks at me. Maybe she did hear it, after all. Maybe she was glad. These looks of hers are the reason I never know for sure how she feels about me. That's the one thing I never learned how to read about her.

After I spent an hour and half with six little girls clinging to me every other minute of training, I went home feeling great. That's how I know I'm doing my job well. My boys aren't quite so physical, naturally, but I like to think they like me, too. They laugh at my jokes. Anyway, I was in a good mood, ready for dinner, having a good time... then I get a text from Bandana Friend, saying "Look at V's [SNS account]."

Private account.

I immediately got dead scared. What if she found out I was there? What if she saw? Oh God, what if I fucked up? I immediately lost my appetite, and I was in a rather intense state of fear and panic, not at all able to think the situation through rationally and spamming both Bandana and Pocketwatch Friend about the situation. Now, I am aware that I overreacted quite a bit, to the point of nearly crying, and that the situation is nearly not as dramatic as I thought, but I really felt like I betrayed her and invaded her privacy, which, especially after all the shit she's done for me, felt like quite the dick move.

Why was her account public before if she didn't want anyone finding her, you may ask. I actually haven't got an exact answer for that. The best I can say is that—she's human. She made a mistake, and I trust her enough to feel that she did. She was careless, but I'm in no position to throw the first stone at her. After all, I was, too.

For long hours after that, I felt hollow. Disappointed in myself. I could only cry later as well, once my mum was gone. Quite tragic, that. One Friday I'm crying in her arms, the next I'm crying because of her. This is why it took me so long to sit down and tell you this, even just writing all this took me 4 whole ass hours. As I thought it over and over again, I realised V isn't someone I should be fearing. That if she ever confronted me about it and I admitted to it, she would be hurt, but she'd understand. She wouldn't hold a grudge, and I could surely make it right by her, were that the case.

But both my friends offered an explanation that made even more sense. After all, it was my cousin from the other class who found it, and surely all of his classmates know. My friends both said that maybe someone over there let the cat out of the bag—honestly, some people there are the type. If you read things back, the fact that she had class with them between our two classes with her, and that she started class with us really disoriented and worn quite add up. I don't think I'll ever know if she saw I was there. I don't think she'll ever mention it. I still feel a little guilty, and something tells me all this isn't quite over yet, not until I see her again and see how she acts. But spending an hour last night, jumping around barefoot in my PJs while listening to Queen and Abba and lip-synching into my phone worked wonders to get the depression out. You should try it.

We'll see how things go. Maybe I screwed up, maybe we both did, maybe neither of us has. Whatever happens, I'll tell you next time. Promise I'll be on time from now on.

~ S ♡

[Every story I share here, no matter how specific I get with my wording, depicts actual events from my own life.]

[thanksjro]

Polyhex Wars, Book 1 Part 2: The Timeline for the Robots Being Gay Goes Back Further Than I Thought

Ratchet wakes up from that whole, “mystical passing out” thing to find himself strapped to a table with his head all poked into with wires. Optimus and Prowl are also being subjected to this treatment, but they’re not awake yet.

I guess we all have that one character we just latch onto, don’t we?

Chromedome was there when all three of these guys collapsed, and went to go get help. Ratchet explains that there was black fire and breaking glass and it was all like some god-awful acid trip.

No kidding, doc.

Ratchet seems to think that all that actually happened, but it turns out that it was all in their heads, much like everything else that they’d seen. Chromedome just saw them drop with a flash of light.

Optimus wakes up, and First Aid explains that their mental trips into Limbo are coming closer and closer together,  and becoming more violent as a result. There’s a good chance that the next time they have an attack, they’ll be sharing a dreamscape.

Prowl hasn’t woken up. Optimus is worried that he’s stuck in Limbo, and demands that they be put back under to guide him back to the land of the living. First Aid has his reservations, but what is he gonna do, argue with the space pope? Optimus and Ratchet are sent back in with the power of mind-transfer.

Let’s take a quick look at some Chromedome canon before we move on to the next chunk of story, because I want to try and get a feel for why Roberts seems to like him so much.

In the Marvel comics, Chromedome was kind of a reclusive computer nerd, who very much disliked the fact that all his programming skills were only being applied to the war effort as opposed to literally anything else. When Fortress Maximus decided to up and leave, he went along gladly. He ended up getting paired with a very outgoing, vain Nebulan partner named Stylor when the whole Headmaster thing happened. They had their differences, but ultimately were brought together by the common goal of kicking Decepticon ass for the greater good. Comic Chromedome is a relatively nice guy, if a bit cowardly- his final entry in the series was heading for the hills when Unicron showed up, but honestly I can’t really fault him for that.

And then there’s the Headmasters anime. Yeah, Chromedome was an anime protagonist back in the 90’s. Anime Chromedome is a completely different entity than his comic counterpart. His whole thing is that he wants revenge for the murder of his friends at the hands of Sixshot. He’s also a Headmaster- no shit- but it works a little differently, in that he’s the only one involved with the process. Chromedome himself IS the head, and the big body he plugs into is just this sort of inert mecha that he pilots when he wants to be able to reach the higher shelves at the supermarket.

Anime Chromedome is the second-in-command to Fortress Maximus, and he’s a bit of a jackass at times, but he seems to have his heart in the right place. You know, when he isn’t busy beating Decepticons to death. Anime Chromedome goes hard.

Getting back to the story, we return to the scene we left at the end of Part One, with the 40 Autobots having been caught in a trap in Darkmount.

Well that lasted all of five minutes. Poor Grandpa.

This starts a chain reaction, and it isn’t long before all the Autobots are throwing punches. Blaster goes full cowl, taking four guys on at once, and potentially kneeing someone in the nuts so hard they flies up into the air and are promptly exploded by gunfire. Blaster throws a gun to Sights, who is a sniper, and then is right back in the center of the fracas.

Sights is a sniper here, but it looks like the only Sights in Transformers canon is a bird who can turn into a fusion cannon. They probably aren’t the same character, unless there’s something I don’t know about birds.

Sights hauls himself up to a ledge using a grappling hook, and starts picking off Decepticons. Things seem to be turning around for the Autobots at this point, because Sights is the best.

Sights is what some might call a Mary Sue- he’s the best at sniping, rivaling Optimus Prime himself with his accuracy, everyone seems to know him, and he singlehandedly has turned the tide of this fight. As the Autobots escape, he manages to explode a key piece of Decepticon equipment, killing over a dozen enemy troops.

This is an earlier work, if you couldn’t already tell.

We do see some neat transitions in the writing, though.

Ratchet and Optimus have entered Limbo, and are feeling a little manic about the whole thing, especially since the space is just filled with corpses from the Time Wars. Like, it’s a carpet of dead bodies.

Roberts was all about that edge from the get-go, huh?

The two robots start walking, looking for Prowl.

Over with Red Alert on the Celestial, he’s not really feeling the vibe on this spacecraft. Neither is Hot Shot, but neither of them can really pinpoint why exactly that is. Sideswipe points out that Getaway doesn’t have his Nebulan partner with him- for this particular story, we’re going with the take on Getaway as a Powermaster, which means he has a smaller person who plugs into his body to act as a battery, kind of like a reverse parasite.

Comic books are weird.

Toy gimmicks are also weird.

This cues in the Autobots that things might not be on the up and up here. You know, that and the whole “Witterquick” thing. The boys load their weapons, but keep them concealed as they approach not-Blaster, who’s beginning to worry that he’s been caught after all this time.  He must have sort flavor of social anxiety, because he’s kept his cool over the video chat for the last few weeks, but the moment Red Alert enters the room, he blows his cover and orders the Decepticons to attack.

Back at Darkmount, it seems we’ve lost a few people, as the count has gone from 40 to 29. The boys are running through the halls, completely clueless as to where to go in order to escape.

Don’t be shocked by the language, this is G1 Silverbolt, not the one who fucks is a complete gentleman to a spider.

I’m still convinced that this Courier guy is evil. You should be tossing him out the window, not looking to him for help.

The Decepticons are gaining. Hound, exasperated, asks as nicely as he can for Silverbolt to try and wake Courier up as they attempt to keep the distance between factions as wide as they can. Laser fire quickly becomes involved, and Swerve and Bumblebee go from the back of the pack to the front. Little fellas can move when they want to.

While Sights does another cool thing with some guns he stole, Courier wakes up and says- with some trouble, since he’s just woken up and still bleeding from that leg wound- that they should jump into the sewers to escape.

That’s all well and good, but if they intend on doing such a thing, they’ll need to put a bit more distance between themselves and their assailants. Everyone starts shooting at the ceiling, attempting to bring it crashing down. Everyone except Sights. No, instead Sights goes on picking off any Decepticon who gets too close for comfort, until they manage to bring the house down.

The strong, silent type, Sights is. Tall, dark, and handsome, too, most likely.

Back in Limbo, Ratchet’s starting to crack.

As if on cue, the ground starts to crack, revealing lava of all things, and the whole scene turns into Dante’s Inferno-flavored Hell. Yeah, proper noun Hell. Optimus and Ratchet are exploded by contact with a downpour of acid rain, then their bodies reconstituted, only to be burned to crispies by the lava. When they wake up from that, they find themselves stuck on a spinning silver plate in the sky, where they have an excellent view of where Prowl’s gotten to- he’s stranded on an asteroid with a big, scary Decepticon, who’s about to complete wreck his shit.

You know, the snark has always been there in Roberts’ writing, but it didn’t really hit its stride until after this piece of work.

Meanwhile, in the sewers, our Autobots aren’t doing so hot. Courier’s probably going to die if they don’t get him medical attention soon. I guess they just didn’t have any sort of medic on the Celestial when it was overtaken, which seems like a massive oversight. Or maybe they’re dead.

We don’t have time to worry about the hiring practices of the Autobots right now though, because a few Decepticons just arrived on the scene.

Well, there goes the token girl character.

Seems like nobody told these ‘Cons to not hit their deep cover operative. There goes several thousand years of Autobot secrets, dumbasses. Soundwave’s going to be so pissed.

The Autobots quickly fall into formation and start defending themselves. Turns out Rev-Tone’s on the scene.

Hi Rev-Tone!

Someone gets shot and proceeds to explode, which causes enough chaos for a Decepticon to load up a missile launcher without being noticed and fire it into the crowd.

Things are looking hopeless, so that means it’s time for Sights to make his Heroic Sacrifice™. Hound begs him to stay, because he can’t bear to lose anyone else.

Unfortunately, the Hound/Sights coffeeshop AU slowburn fit written by Rewind will have to have a fix-it fic tag, because Sights is almost immediately and literally ripped apart by a smattering of Decepticons. Knowing his time is running out, he busts out the big guns.

Oh my god he’s got fucking laser vision.

That isn’t quite enough though, so he initiates self-destruct, thereby saving his fellow Autobots and dying a hero.

You know, if you stack Sights on top of what was left of Quark after the interrogation scene, you make a whole robot. Worst. Duobot. Ever.

Not to worry though, because Wheeljack’s taken the opportunity to be all weird and cryptic, and insinuates that they potentially COULD bring Sights back from the dead. Because of course he can.

We don’t get to find out how that magic’s going to happen though, because it’s time to check in on Optimus and Ratchet.

Things aren’t going great. They crashed the disk, and it turns out that the giant Decepticon threatening Prowl and throwing body parts at him is Galvatron. Optimus leaps into action, attempting to use his magnetic repellence on the enemy.

I guess that’s a thing he has.

It works, but it’s taking a lot out of Optimus, so they need to figure something else out fast. Optimus, ever light on his mental feet, surges the power so that Galvatron explodes. Ratchet goes over to Prowl to see what his deal is, and it’s looking like he’s going to need brain surgery.

“Now back the hell up, Optimus, you’re breathing contaminates all over Prowl’s exposed brain.”

Back on Cybertron, it turns out that things might just be okay after all, as Hound and company have stumbled across the lost city of Subterrainia. Subterrainia did not exist in Transformers canon at the time of this writing, but it would in 2012, when Roberts used his immense power as a hired writer for the franchise to make it so.

Now that they’re in a place that has medical equipment, they can heal their wounded and indulge in a little lore. Trasher provides us with the backstory of this lost city.

Long before the War, Transformers lived on the surface of Cybertron. Then, one day, someone said, what if we didn’t do that? Then they built Subterrainia and lived there instead. Then the War happened and people sort of just forgot that it was there. The end.

That’s literally it.

After that riveting explanation, we check back in with Optimus, who I suppose forgot to put on his patience hat this morning, as he asks Ratchet to hurry up with the life-saving field surgery he’s currently in the middle of. Ratchet calls him out on it, as he should, and Optimus apologizes, going back to worrying about his troops outside of Limbo.

Over on the Celestial, Red Alert’s just had his arm shot off, and there’s a continuity error running amok.

You are supposed to be back at base, mister!

The Autobots are getting their asses kicked, and it’s not hard to see why- a lot of the Decepticons on this spacecraft are heavy hitters. Starscream’s here, the entire Combaticon team, it’s wild.

Then Starscream calls for escape plan 3 to take place, and they just… leave. It’s strange, and it’s sudden, and the Autobots can’t help but agree. Red Alert decides to see what’s on the computer to try and figure out what they’re planning, and ends up setting off the countdown for a bomb. Slapdash yells at him for being an idiot.

Back down in the City of the Mole People, Getaway’s come back from checking out the place, and informs Hound that it’s completely abandoned. He theorizes that the Decepticons killed everyone who lived here, an will probably come looking for them sooner rather than later. That’s all fine though, because Courier’s back and better than ever.

I still don’t trust him.

He says he knows how to get out of Subterrainia- which only chalks up more points against him being a true Autobot- but hold on! What about Sights?

Sights just got Goldbugged. It’s Ammo now.

Roberts will never let a pair of robot titties go unnoticed. I can’t believe that Wheeljack, with the limited time they had, would go and make Ammo this attractive, and then have the audacity to show him off with a dramatic reveal. It was completely unnecessary, but here we are, staring at Ammo’s strong arms and thighs, wishing to be held by Hotbot 9000 over here.

Hound is all about this overhaul. Look at him, getting all flustered.

Ammo as character is present in the IDW run of the comics, but in name only. They are very different creatures, much like the different iterations of Quark. Roberts is very into recycling, and here is no exception.

After Ammo’s debut, the narrative checks in on Autobot City, where things aren’t nearly as sexy; Starscream made a beeline for the place the moment they left the Celestial, and they’re wrecking shop. He’s doing this without orders to do so, by the way. This is just how Starscream wants his Monday to go, I guess. It’s looking pretty grim for the Autobots, and Optimus is still stuck in Limbo. Hopefully he gets back soon.

[lankylevi]

Dance With Me

I combined @ereri-writing-prompts prompt: dancing with @ererievents prompt of week three: hands/touch.

Read on AO3 or below.

It is meaningless, he has to keep telling himself that or he will probably slap someone across the face and pull Levi away from the noblewomen who are a little bit too handsy to his liking. There is a tight feeling in his chest when he thinks about the Corporal enjoying someone else’s touch above his, a strange nervousness that can easily be mistaken for concern, but is quickly muted by pure jealousy. He has to look away, not being able to take another second of this party, full of people ogling at the man who he so desperately wants, but can’t have.

Honestly, he has never enjoyed these parties, neither has Levi. But like the man told him a million times, they just have to suck it up and endure. Even though the resources are bigger than ever for the Survey Corps since they wiped out every single titan outside of the walls, it is still important to let the nobles have their fun. Their meaning of fun being, touching you a little too long to be interpreted as casual, pressing their bosoms or crotches against you depending on their taste, or smothering you with their perfume by wrapping their arms around your neck.

Eren turns on his heel, not wanting to see another second of this and quickly walks towards the windowed door that leads to the garden.

He leans against the wall of the building once the fresh air catered him. His head is heavy, clouded by a yearning for someone he has admired for as long as he can remember. At first, he thought it was just admiration, great respect for the person who people call humanity’s strongest. When he was fifteen, and actually got to know the man behind the title, he thought it was a simple crush. A phase as his father would have probably called it. But now, at the age eighteen, he knows it isn’t something as childish as puppy love and he hates every second of it.

His hair has gotten longer over time, in preparation for the upcoming mission, and is now almost at shoulder length. He tucks it behind his ear, finding the strings of brown hair hanging in front of his face distracting, and tries his best to get his breathing under control. Thanking his tailor under his breath for making his suit jacket thick enough to stand the cold air of February.

“Eren.”

Shit, not now. Don’t let it be him.

But even if he would hear the deep velvet voice in a crowd of a thousand people, he would still be able to recognize it. “Yes, Corporal?” He tries to say as nonchalantly as possible. Keeping his composure and attempting to relax his shoulders as their eyes meet. Looking back at silver orbs and furrowed brows that he has learned to love over the past couple of years.

“What are you doing outside?” It is a simple question, hell, even a normal question looking at the situation. But the words sting like venom and he can almost feel his heart dropping inside of his chest.

“Just getting some fresh air, all that perfume must have gotten to me.” He laughs, fully aware that his superior will notice if he would lie. With that thought in mind, he had decided to tell him half of the truth and focus on the raven’s features that are still set in his usual scowl, unreadable but oh so comforting.

Levi snorts, actually snorts, and leans against the wall right next to him, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “At least you don’t have to endure that up close.”

“I guess.” He says. Turning his face to the side to avoid Levi’s gaze, feeling it piercing through his skin. Maybe it is his imagination, but throughout the years he learned how to read the man. If the subtle clenching of his hands, tensed shoulders and straight back aren’t already telling him that he is frustrated. Irritated. Maybe even resenting. Then the tone of his voice tells him everything he needs to know.

“Suck it up and go back inside.” Levi says. Scrunching up his nose, his stern voice brokering no argument. But Eren can’t. If he goes back in there, relive his earlier torture, he will burst and lose all faith he earned from the nobles. It had been a difficult task to begin with, earning the trust of the people who wanted you dead from the start. So, for him to throw all of that away just because his superior tells him to go back inside, is unacceptable.

“No.” His voice doesn’t even shake. Neither do his hands nor his legs. He looks physically stable, having mastered the art of being able to hide his true feelings. But Levi, being the exception of everything in his life, always sees right through him.

“Either you’re saying what’s on your mind, or you’re coming back inside. It’s your choice.” His choice, the option the man has always given him from the very beginning.

He lets out a puff of air and runs his fingers through his hair, feeling a knot in his stomach and trying his best to hide it. “I’m not feeling well.” Technically, not a lie. “So, I’m staying for just another moment. You can go back.” He adds, feeling relief wash over him when the man beside him nods in agreement. Though, he doesn’t move. Levi keeps standing beside him, eyes fixed on the garden in front of them.

“Okay.”

He should know by now, no, he knows that Levi doesn’t like to use a lot of words. The lesser the words, the better. But in a situation like this, this particular trait makes him even more tensed. “So, are you going back?”

“No. I’m not gonna let you freeze your ass out here on your own.” Levi says, his voice unshaken and lacking emotions. Still taking it as his job to look after the brunet despite it not being an order anymore.

Even though annoyance was radiating off of the raven, Eren still finds his company soothing. The distance between them, or lack there off, almost feeling intimate to him, making his chest feel even tighter. “Don’t you think they’re going to miss us?” He decides to ask.

“Jean will be able to entertain them for a while. Will sprain my wrist if I have to keep twirling them around.” Levi replies casually, the glint in his eyes giving his amusement away. His cold demeanor always fooling everyone, but not Eren.

The brunet laughs at that, finding comfort in the way his superior always tries to lighten up the mood with his distinct taste in humor. Reminding him of the old days.

Though, there is one question he can’t seem to take off of his mind. Feeling like he is going to explode if he doesn’t ask him. “Do you actually… enjoy it?” Immediate regret overflows him, but he isn’t the type of person to rather stay in the dark about things. He will rather hear the truth, possibly getting his feelings crushed, than having to live another second in ignorance. This occasion being no exception.

He looks over at his Corporal, whose lips are pressed firmly together. His face looking paler than usual. It makes his heart ache, a certain type of grieving when the raven’s eyes avoid his own.

“I don’t.” Levi spat. His words and tone making Eren visibly wince.

“Okay…” Eren’s voice is barely above a whisper and he curses himself internally for even doubting the Corporal’s words. Regardless of the countless of occasions he explicitly told him he absolutely despises the nobles and their ways of celebrating, the brunet had still decided to ask this unnecessary question.

Despite of his inner struggle, he still sees the man shiver beside him. His lips having turned blue over the past couple of minutes.

“We should go back inside.”

“If you’re deciding to act like an adult, fine.” Levi groans and pushes himself off the wall. Gesturing Eren to follow him and holding out a hand, “Come on then.”

Confusion strikes the brunet from the moment his superior offers his hand. Finding it extremely unnatural for the man.

“Sir?” His voice trembles for the first time tonight and he feels his cheeks heat up from the way Levi is looking at him right now. Face set in his usual blank state, but eyes flickering with something he can’t quite understand.

The man doesn’t say a word, eyes painfully set on Eren, and simply curls his fingers. Clicking his tongue when the guy doesn’t seem to understand what he’s hinting at. “Take it.”

Eren’s heart is beating the fastest it has ever been, hearing it drumming in his ears and feeling it beating in his throat. With a slightly shaking hand, he accepted Levi’s steady one and let himself being pulled into what seemed a little bit too close for comrades.  

Their chests are barely inches apart and his breath hitches in his throat when he feels Levi’s hand work its way towards the small of his back. He doesn’t dare to look down, afraid that he’s misinterpreting the situation and swallows, hard. “Sir?”

“You looked constipated in there, could it be that you wanted to dance?” The raven says, wrapping his fingers around Eren’s palm and stretches his arm, positioning them. His voice showed no hint of mockery, and if the brunet had to pinpoint the tone of his voice he would almost call it...anticipation.

Eren can feel his knees wobble and admires the way Levi is supporting the both of them, not showing any sign of resentment. Though, he can’t help but softly curse under his breath for making his inner struggle so obvious earlier.

“Eren.” The sound of his name rolling so heavenly off of Levi’s tongue making his heart flutter, “I’m ready when you are.”

The brunet visibly gulps, thickly.

Shakingly, he presses his other hand on Levi’s shoulder, slightly flinching when he feels the raven’s hand press on the small of his back, pushing their bodies closer together, and before he knows it, they are swaying to the soft music. Slow and uncertain, but everything he could have ever asked for.

[kwkwknsn]

random questions i decided 2 answer

1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged? no that would be incest i’m repulsed

2. You talked to an ex today, correct? no i did not

3. Have you taken someones virginity? nope

4. Is trust a big issue for you? no not really i trust people i get along with very well kinda easy

5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently? i don’t like someone at the moment

6. What are you excited for? honestly, i don’t know. i’m excited for being happy i guess! like real, genuine happiness. that would be nice.

7. What happened tonight? hung out with my friend and had dinner with her and her family!

8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted? nope, it’s not any different from when guys get wasted

9. Is confidence cute? yes it is! as long as it’s not exaggerated

10. What is the last beverage you had? cola zero

11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? literally one

12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans? basically all i own (kinda)

13. What are you gonna do Saturday night? oh i have no idea at all...

14. What are you going to spend money on next? piercings!!

15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed? i was

16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months? yeah i guess, we change all the time

17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything? my friends

18. The last time you felt broken? oh god i have no idea, it’s hard to pinpoint

19. Have you had sex today? nope

20. Are you starting to realize anything? nah not today! but i will

21. Are you in a good mood? right now no, i’m going through some tough family situations

22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks? no i don’t think so!

23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s? nope i have brow eyes he has grey

24. What do you want right this second? to be happy, also to travel

25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy? i’d be disappointed and hurt

26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color? kinda, i have dark brown hair naturally and i dyed it jet black so it’s not that much of a difference

27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh? honestly no, i don’t think i would be interested in the first place. chemistry is really important to me and if that doesn’t work i don’t think a relationship would

28. What was the last thing that made you laugh? my friend and i laughed about tiktok

29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now? yes i do

30. Does everyone deserve a second chance? it depends. i really want to believe everyone deserves a second chance but there are exceptions

31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to? i do not. i really trust him and value him

32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do? i don’t have feelings for someone rn but last time i had he knew

33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda? nooo, i love soda

34. Listening to? nothing right now, but if u mean music i vibe to the rose’s songs right now

35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore? i do quite often, i write journal entries all the time

36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is? no not right now

37. Do you believe in love at first sight? no i believe in attraction at first sight but not love. can’t love someone you don’t know

38. Who did you last call? a friend

39. Who was the last person you danced with? my friend! he taught me a choreography

40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed? because he expected me to

41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake? years ago... wanna do that soon asap though!

42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today? i don’t kiss my parents but i hugged my mom today!

43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush? no not really.. i don’t think i’ve done like a major mistake but maybe smaller ones (knock on wood)

44. Do you tan in the nude? don’t know what this question is about kskdkd

45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss? no... or would i?

46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? nope not yesterday

47. Who was the last person to call you? my friend

48. Do you sing in the shower? no definitely not!! but i talk

49. Do you dance in the car? all the time when there’s music on

50. Ever used a bow and arrow? a fake one yes

51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer? when we had our school portraits

52. Do you think musicals are cheesy? no not cheesy i just don’t vibe with them enough to watch them in my free time

53. Is Christmas stressful? kind of yes, i mean i always feel so pressured to give everyone the best christmas ever you know

54. Ever eat a pierogi? yee

55. Favorite type of fruit pie? raspberry pie

56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid? florist, doctor, vet

57. Do you believe in ghosts? i do

58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling? yes, quite often

59. Take a vitamin daily? i used to but not anymore, i take anti depressants though

60. Wear slippers? nope

61. Wear a bath robe? nah

62. What do you wear to bed? a big t shirt usually

63. First concert? bts <3

64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart? i’m not from anywhere that has any of those

65. Nike or Adidas? don’t use any of those brands

66. Cheetos Or Fritos? we don’t have that here either

67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds? neither is up my alley

68. Favorite Taylor Swift song? blank space!

69. Ever take dance lessons? yes! dancing is my biggest passion, i dance four to five times a week

70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing? nope as long as it makes them happy

71. Can you curl your tongue? yeah!!

72. Ever won a spelling bee? nope but i haven’t been in one either

73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy? no jsjdkdk

74. What is your favorite book? oh i have lots of them but a very large expanse of sea, the hate u give, warcross, scythe etc

75. Do you study better with or without music? it depends, but mostly with

76. Regularly burn incense? nope

77. Ever been in love? yeah

78. Who would you like to see in concert? stray kids, ateez, bts again

79. What was the last concert you saw? bts!

80. Hot tea or cold tea? neither i don’t like tea

81. Tea or coffee? coffee hands down

82. Favorite type of cookie? subway’s raspberry and white chocolate cookie

83. Can you swim well? i guess i used to.. like i can swim but i rarely do anymore

84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose? yeah

85. Are you patient? yes i would consider myself patent

86. DJ or band, at a wedding? oh god i havent thought about that before. a band?

87. Ever won a contest? yeah i used to do gymnastics and won some contests.. prolly have won some smaller ones too

88. Ever have plastic surgery? nope

89. Which are better black or green olives? don’t like olives :(

90. Opinions on sex before marriage? i don’t care about that, that’s probably what i would like to have too

91. Best room for a fireplace? living room or bedroom

92. Do you want to get married? yeah i do

i tag @honey-piggy just bc you always tag me in stuff and i appreciate it wholeheartedly!!!! don’t feel pressured to do this though i know it’s a lot💕

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs: weeks 28 & 29

thoughts on the songs that debuted on the billboard charts of 7.19.1997, 7.26.1997, 7.21.2007, 7.28.2007, 7.22.2017, and 7.29.2017.

spoiler: that too many songs

Week Twenty-Eight

7.19.1997

17) "Gotham City," by R. Kelly

There is nothing of value to be said here, especially by me, who enabled the monster for so long. There is nothing in this song that could justify the lives he's ruined. I hope his body rots worse than his soul.

19) "Whatever," by En Vogue

This is a lovely palette cleanser! A fairly groovy R&B tune by a known entity, not particularly deep and focused solely on being a joy to listen to. Washes the bad taste of the men we watched do harm right out of our mouths, and it leaves us ready to dive back into music we like from uncomplicated humans who DON'T have actual sex slaves!

47) "Take it to the Streets," by Rampage ft./Billy Lawrence

This was pretty okay. Rampage is Busta Rhymes' cousin, so that's neat for him. What a boon that must have been for him in his career. I -- I'm sorry, the big 1997 project is over, and now 1997 is just a fact of everyday life and not a fun treat for us, and now everything feels like an obligation instead of a delight. Or maybe these songs are just enh, I don't know, anyway, next we have a selection off a shitty rock band's worst album, hoo boy, really getting excited for 1997's first week as a YAS regular.

57) "Last Night on Earth," by U2

This is a U2 single. They made a video for it. They have a VEVO and an official account, a U2be if you will, and that music video they made for this song is on neither. All I can find are unofficial uploads. The views on these uploads don't appear to crack the 500,000-view barrier. Even people who LIKE U2, whose job or hobby involves promoting and sharing U2's music would rather not think about this song. Nor should they, it's a dumb song no one should like, but man, if people who like this dumb band aren't into it, what hope did this song have with me?

70) "Four Leaf Clover," by Abra Moore

I shouldn't be the one to feel the instinct to teleport on seeing an Abra, but here we are. 1997 picked a hell of a week to have its worst week, y'all. I timed this poorly.

79) "When You Talk About Love," by Patti LaBelle

A fun way to set expectations for a song is to see what other auto-complete results pop up when searching for the song. One of the ones for this was "zumba." I can hear that. This is a song fast enough to exercise to, but doesn't go hard enough to inspire you to do actual exercise, you just stay with the DVD you found at Target with the fun name. I feel like I should be more into a Patti LaBelle song than I currently am, but I am for some reason in no mood to 1997 right now! It's head of the class but not graduating with honors.

83) "Up Jumps the Boogie," by Magoo & Timbaland ft./Aaliyah & Missy Elliott

It's interesting that Billboard gave Magoo top billing over Timbaland! It's weird that I never hear Magoo brought up when they talk about Timbaland, but I'm excited to h -- wait. ...Wait, is that... OK, no, okay, Magoo? Magoo. You had to know you were awful at this, right? You had to know you had no chance to succeed, that you would be transcended. Oh, Magoo, I am so sorry that this is your life. Anyway, Timbaland! This is dope. I have my issues with Timbaland's sound in 2007, but Timbaland is yet to drown in excess, this track has a nice build to it, and I have enough nostalgia that I am willing to forgive any amount of Magoo if it means a Timbaland/Missy collaboration. But Magoo is just unbelievably bad. They made a version of this song without him, right? It'd be a travesty if they didn't. Like, Magoo is keeping this song out of the Top 20.

91) "I Say a Little Prayer," by Diana King

I bet a "Say a Little Prayer" cover had some novelty value before American Idol kind of ruined covers of standards for the rest of the world. Like, I've heard enough versions of "Say a Little Prayer" in this lifetime that I didn't need this reggae version intercut with scenes from a romantic comedy. She does have another single called "Shy Guy," though. She and I have the same favorite Super Mario Bros. 2 enemy! That's one thing I got. Ugh, heck next week, TAKE ME 2007. I AM READY TO LOVE YOU AGAIN. TAKE ME INTO Ywhat do you mean "love theme from transformers"

7.21.2007

68) "You Know What It Is," T.I. ft./Wyclef Jean

T.I. claims, "I had the album of the year, Grammy or not." At first blush, this may seem overly boastful; after all, it's been established that T.I. may not be one of the 100 greatest rappers of all time, and T.I. never quite had the superstar power of a Kanye or a Kendrick or the type that usually wins the award. But the 2007 field for Best Rap Album was actually sorta weak. You have a Ludacris album with zero signature hits, which is notable given that Ludacris is the Foo Fighters of rap, an album from Pharrell that is only there because Pharrell made it, and albums from Lupe Fiasco and The Roots that were never going to win but do let the Grammys signal to their audience that they know what's up. Plus, 2006 in general was a shitty year for rap. You'd have to really stan for OutKast or Jay-Z to defend Idlewild or Kingdom Come, and apart from Food & Liquor, there aren't any classics bubbling just under the mainstream. Much in the same way 1989 was the best pop album of 2014 because everyone else's albums sucked, T.I.'s King was the best rap album of 2006. Unless you're into the Jeezy album or the Rick Ross album. Maybe those? I don't fuckin' know, I don't know history, this song is OK.

85) "LoveStoned," Justin Timberlake

Kind of unpleasant going from fun and actually composed music from Timbaland to "here's a thousand noises I slapped together TURNED TO ELEVEN" Timbaland. See, look at that, it has been like fifteen minutes, and I'm already nostalgic for the '90s. Only '90s kids will remember when Timbaland didn't make confusing music.

86) "Before It's Too Late (Sam and Mikaela's Theme)," The Goo Goo Dolls

Hey, remember in YAS '90s when I lamented the death of the soundtrack? Sure would be nice if we could pinpoint the exact moment the soundtrack cut died, the one soundtrack cut that ruined the commercial viability for future soundtrack cuts to come. Might be an interesting quest to take, to find the last soundtrack cut! Anyway, love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers love theme from Transformers

93) "Cupid Shuffle," Cupid

/went to bed at midnight /had a day at work where he said zero words to people /rough bus ride home /faced with 30 pop songs /plus self-imposed deadline /slumped over on desk /twitching more like... /labored breathing stupid shuffle /ugly crying that sounds like coughing

94) "Tough," Craig Morgan

It has been nearly two weeks since I've heard a country dude. I'm not even going to count the three country dudes I heard during YAS97, because one was George Strait and that treacly-ass nonsense about how daughters are awesome or whatever is about as country as a skyscraper. Not that this goes that much harder, it's a song celebrating a mother's toughness (which is honestly about as feminist as country gets), but you can really hear the difference in production values in country dude songs between 1997 and 2007. Songs get built better in the modren era, and while this eventually leads to the trashification of country, and also this song is cheeseball as hell, this is so much better to listen to than that Bros Brothers track.

95) "Everyday America," Sugarland

Songs like this are uncomfortable to contend with in an age where billionaires co-opt this sentiment to trick America into plunging itself into a totalitarion nightmarescape. This is a song that plays during the preamble to a rally where a man yells at you that the best way to save this version of America which never existed is to strip yourself of health care and just spray poison straight into the sun so that billionaires can pocket an extra $50k. I'm sorry, Sugarland. Usually I don't get in this mood, but this is 2017 we live in, and also all the things I said in the Cupid section.

99) "Misery Business," Paramore

I can hear the criticism of this song as something somewhat unfeminist, but expecting any 19-year-old to walk this earth cognizant of all social issues and doing their best to fight them is stupid. 19-year-olds should be making songs about some asshole what stole their boyfriend. It kinda sucks she used the word "whore?" But we all said shitty sings when we were 19. Most of the shit I said is archived on Facebook, and Hayley Williams has the singular misfortune of having her problematic years attached to THIS SONG WHICH GOES HARD AS HELL AND IS A POP/PUNK MASTERPIECE. This song rules. It's childish in all the right ways, and I'm always gonna have that nostalgia blind spot for it. Heck you for trying to ruin it with valid points about the song's less-than-chill attitude towards gender roles, just sit back, dawg. It could get worse. Remember when R. Kelly had a top 20 hit in this post?

100) "Guys Like Me," Eric Church

In the sense that this built a foundation on which Eric Church built up enough clout that he earned the creative freedom to make "Mr. Misunderstood," this song is worthwhile. In every single other sense, I can't believe I expressed something like positive thoughts about modren country music.

7.22.2017

(70) "Mi Gente," by J Balvin & Willy William

I was stoked to jump back into 2017 with some Latin pop. I've been down with this Latin pop revival (insofar as Latin pop needed to be revived (it was still thriving just not in the states (like duh))), and I was stoked for this song, but the translation shows that this is a song about how good this song is. I mean, hey, I've heard worse, but that doesn't mean we can't do better than this. Still, I like that fun kazoo noise, and this song has as much a right as any to shout about how good it is. Not a classic, but we ragequit this project after DJ Khaled took the top song, so hey, we're already doing better!

(78) "Rake it Up," by Yo Gotti ft./Nicki Minaj

Having heard every rap song that hit the Hot 100 from January through July 1997, I can confirm that literally all but one rapper in 1997 was better at the act of rapping than this Yo Gotti character. I have no nostalgia goggles for '90s rap, I am completely ignorant of any rap history that didn't make it to Shea Serrano's Rap Yearbook, I literally just mainlined the entirety of 1997 rap, and I can state from a position of authority that Yo Gotti is garbage to listen to. He has an advantage on Magoo, I am not here to engage in hyperbole, but he is worse at this thing he is being paid to do than all that preceded him. Nicki has a fun verse, her verses are usually fun, but this dude is awful. I'm supposed to think this is rap after having heard the "Not Tonight" remix? Come on, man.

(85) "Bodak Yellow," by Cardi B

I picked up Gangsta Bitch Music Vol. 1 based on the recommendation of a basketball podcast, and I was impressed. I thought there was a lot of potential there, and I'm glad to see it's getting harnessed into something. I might've picked a better person to mimic than Kodak Black, but I'm not gonna complain about a solid song. "Said little bitch/You can't fuck with me if you wanted to/These expensive/These is red bottoms, these are bloody shoes." I kinda fucking love that. Like, just casually letting you know she's already stomped on people. I'm into this. I hope she gets to do something less derivative in the future.

(87) "Who Dat Boy," by Tyler, the Creator ft./A$AP Rocky

I will never complain about Rocky in any situation. I actually haven't listened to... gosh, anything Tyler's made since Goblin. I think that's understandable, what with Goblin being terrible. But this is really cool. This isn't as Adult Swim as the Odd Future cohort can get. It still sort of sounds weird for weirdness' sake, but there's focus, there's actual dedication to making this sound like the nightmare Tyler thinks his head is. Plus, Rocky. I like that guy. Not bad! That counts as high praise, given my history with Tyler, the Creator.

(89) "Heartache on the Dance Floor," by Jon Pardi

he's not even a good singer. there is nothing about this dude's voice that is pleasant to hear, it sounds like an imitation of better singers, like what if you replaced everything that gave chris stapleton's voice depth and clarity and distinctive tone and replaced it with gross goat sounds. he has a range of "the note he sings in this song." fuck this dude and fuck everyone that ever believed in him.

(99) "Extra Luv," by Future ft./YG

Did... Did Future take inspiration from his collaboration with Calvin Harris? Because I don't think I've ever grooved this hard to a Future song. I don't think Future has ever made a song to be grooved to. It's usually music to make you run through a brick wall or music to contemplate every dark thought you've ever had, never a song that just exists for the sake of being fun to listen to. Like, did Future just go into the studio with Calvin Harris and just have his mind blown, like, "Wait, music can sound like THIS? I gotta try this shit out! Hot damn! This is a game-changer!" Still some sadness, it's about a woman loving how rich Future is and not Future himself, but it's packaged so differently from the rest of Future's stuff and I'm so thrilled if this is the direction Future will take with his next five albums!

Who won the week?

While we would like to give 2007 a shout-out for the individual achievement of Paramore, man, the rest of 2007 is horrible this week. 1997 and 2017 don’t fare a ton better; 2017 at least gives us three tracks that are interesting and, given how salty and/or burnt out I am, are probably a lot better than I think they are in my current mental state. It’s 2017.

Week Twenty-Nine

7.26.1997

31) "Someone," by SWV ft./Puff Daddy

Very nice work! Bob exclaimed, stirring himself from the Soulja Boy Tell'em passage he was writing because he doesn't need to listen to "Crank Dat" to know how "Crank Dat" makes him feel. You girls sure rocked the house! he said, wondering why he admitted he was looking past this song and not giving it the fair chance he gave other songs before it. Bob doesn't know what's happening in this paragraph, and while Bob would like to start over, he won't, because he wrote all these words, and deleting them would mean having to write more, y'know?

32) "I Can Love You," by Mary J. Blige ft./Lil Kim

A'ight, if you're gonna make me listen to this much R&B in one sitting, I appreciate that you're gonna give me something close to a standard. One day, man, I'm gonna get familiar with Mary J. Blige, and this song is a reminder of all the great things I'm missing out on, like I'm in a world right now where I'm not sure where this song ranks in the Mary J. Blige canon but can be absolutely certain it's not in the top tier. I'm gonna get to it, I've got other shit to work through but I swear, I'm gonna get to it. Gosh, I'm like seventy-five seasons behind on R&B musc.

57) "To the Moon and Back," by Savage Garden

...This could've stood to be a tad more dramatic. Like, I don't know, I'm trying to evaluate this song on some unspecified criteria, I lack the capacity of language to be writing these posts in the first place, I have no idea how to tell you what I'm looking for, but this song sounds like it's on this middle road between "beautiful subtle ballad" and "epic overblown power ballad," and I wish it would just choose a side, ever give me all the emotions or try to get at one specific emotion. It's alright, I didn't want to switch the YouTube video off, it just feels like nothing.

85) "(Freak) And U Know It," by Adina Howard

I've used the words "trash" and "garbage" a lot over the past week, because those are accurate descriptors of certain kinds of '90s music, but we also need to acknowledge when "trash" is a positive virtue. This song is trashy in all the right ways. It is completely unconcerned with engaging with the listener intellectually, focusing instead on the private parts, which she would very much like to freak. While sometimes it's disheartening when someone we know can do better doesn't try to do better, this song wouldn't work if it were concerned with anything but the basest desires. You should generally want something that is worth thinking about after you finish the song, but sometimes, you want a sexy voice over a funky bass line asking if you wanna go down.

7.28.2007

47) "Crank Dat (Soulja Boy)," Soulja Boy Tell'em

This song is a singular achievement in American culture, and the day it was brought to our attention is the day we were alerted to the meaning of life.

100) "Never Too Late," Three Days Grace

YAS ALT-HISTORY: if everything went according to plan, I was going to pretend "Never Too Late" didn't exist and make Soulja Boy Tell'em take on the offerings of 2017 on his own, the last Spartan warrior screaming at the cloud of arrows. You can't know anything close to the disappointment I felt in the twenty seconds it took me to scroll from 47 to 100, getting more and more excited for the Soulja Boy Tell'em vs. The World narrative, and then finding, of all songs, this buttrock ballad, here to ruin everything, here to drag Soulja Boy Tell'em down. Like, Three Days Grace was one of the better buttrock bands; "Animal I Have Become" is legit, and the entire One-X album is the best thing any buttrock band put out, but this ballad sorta blows, and it completely ruined what should have been Soulja Boy Tell'em week. I can't forgive this song for doing that to me.

7.29.2017

(23) "The Story of OJ," by Jay-Z (35) "4:44," by Jay-Z (47) "Bam," by Jay-Z ft./Damian "Jr. Gong" Marley (51) "Family Feud," by Jay-Z ft./Beyonce (55) "Kill Jay-Z," by Jay-Z (56) "Smile," by Jay-Z ft./Gloria Carter (63) "Caught Their Eyes," by Jay-Z ft./Frank Ocean (86) "Moonlight," by Jay-Z (90) "Marcy Me," by Jay-Z

Jay-Z is great and 4:44 is great and all of these songs are great and 2017 has pulled off two wins by cheating. Like, if there's one thing I learned from 1997, it's that, when Drake gets 20 songs on the chart, he's taking those spots away from weird and/or wonderful songs by artists that will never hit again. I can't stop thinking about "Fulton St." two or three days after hearing it, but if it happened to drop one of those weeks an AAA artist dropped an album in 1997 and the Billboard chart was using the formula it is today, I wouldn't have heard it. That's not to say these songs aren't great, it's just an unfortunate quirk of these modern times, that Jay-Z gets nine hit songs and someone smaller is gonna lose their shot at something like notoriety.

(33) "Bank Account," by 21 Savage (94) "Famous," by 21 Savage

has this dude ever felt an emotion? i dunno, it's entirely possible i didn't feel like paying attention, but both of these songs were rapped in the same passive tone, never changing, just a voice maintaining at some level of chill without acknowledging anything like a feeling. which is impressive, if the goal is to get people to listen and never stop listening, this is the voice you need to perfect, this is a voice that can lull you into a trance where you wake up two hours later and realize you've listened to two of this dude's albums, but i know i have to hit skip at the end, and it's so fucking boring DO SOMETHING

(25) "Praying," by Kesha

Kesha went through a lot to make this song, and, as is stated, she has been through hell, through no end of pain and torture the likes of which no one should ever have to know. I can respect that.

(52) "Sorry Not Sorry," by Demi Lovato

I'm into Demi Lovato. I'm into shallow fun pop songs. I hated every second of this. Here's my conspiracy theory. I mentioned 1989 when discussing T.I. What if there's a conspiracy going on to make all pop music sound really shitty so that, when Tay Tay releases her album, she doesn't have any insurmountable hills to climb to claim Album of the Year again? (Yeah, DAMN. happened, but To Pimp a Butterfly was better than 1989. Didn't stop the Grammys!) Like, I'm into everything Julia Michaels has done, and I'm gonna love any album she releases, but she's not on that level. Selena Gomez is doing fun stuff, but she needs one more "Bad Liar" if she wants to hit that level. We're apparently not into Lorde anymore, we're finally over Katy Perry, no one else seems to be willing to release an album, I mean, Tay Tay's gonna take another weak year and use it to trick people into thinking an A- album is an A+. Big Machine somehow ruined this song, and we need to figure out how deep this goes.

(89) "Glorious," by Macklemore ft./Skylar Grey

I am as interested in Macklemore without Ryan Lewis as I am in six untoasted hot dog buns.

(91) "Get Low," by Zedd & Liam Payne

Oh good, the EDM dudelords are starting to rip off Calvin Harris' funky sound. Great. Look what you did, "Slide." (And to some extent, we should hold "Run Up" responsible, except "Run Up" is perfect and you never gave it a chance.) Now Zedd thinks he can make a shitty summer song. I didn't want to hear what Zedd thought summer sounded like. Turns out Zedd thinks summer is good! What a bold take, never saw that coming.

(92) "Fetish," by Selena Gomez ft./Gucci Mane

pop music is bad and i should not have added more of it to my weekly routine. "you've got a fetish for my love." that's fucking stupid. like, see! we had two decent songs from selena gomez, then this tanks her momentum! we're setting up for another year where tay tay takes a bye into Album of the Year consideration, and it won't even be as good as Red. she'll take her special brand of adult top 40 and amaze people who haven't heard a good song in weeks. man. what an unfortunate week to attempt to pull a double shift. the right thing to do would be to go to tumblr and say i'm cranky and need more time, but despite how bad the weeks were, i think i have some solid jokes. also, we got to think about jay-z for a few seconds! that was nice. thank you for making music this year, jay-z, i truly appreciate the work you put into making this post not a chore.

Who won the week?

It is kind of cheating to roll out a classic rap album, especially when the rest of 2017′s offerings were so enh. (I might like 21 Savage more if I weren’t so over everything.) But 1997 and 2007 don’t bring much to the table, either, and I can’t help how the charts get made. 2017 wins another one, which actually puts it ahead in the season standings: 2017: 11 1997: 10 2007: 8 Next week, 2007 rolls out High School Musical 2 and Billy Ray Cyrus against “Mo’ Money Mo’ Problems,” which I think is going to go very well for 2007! 2017 will likely feature that shitty bro country dude’s attempt at being Chris Stapleton. Congratulations, 1997. (Hey, Bob, when you gonna do 1987, it only m)NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO