#every single pairing was made less meaningful in the show and I HATE IT

[wewillbehappyagain]

I can’t think of a single pairing that I think they did justice in the show 😭😭😭

[cheerscoops]

Golden Hour

Pairing: Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson

Summary: Inspired by this fanart by @divine-draws - a lazy, sleepy morning for Steve and Eddie

CW/TW: n/a, this is pure fluff

Word Count: 1K

Author's Note: requested by @thefreakymunson <3

Light shone through the blinds that Steve had neglected to close the night before bathing his room in the soft glow of the early morning light. As he slowly came to, he was made aware of the arm wrapped around him. He had gone to sleep with Eddie snuggled up to him as the little spoon, but at some point in the middle of the night, the metalhead had rolled over and buried his face in his chest. Not that Steve was complaining about it. He’d never complain about being close to Eddie.

If you had told King Steve that one day he’d be falling for the freak of Hawkins High, he would have told you that you were crazy. Then again, he would have said the same thing if you’d told him that the Upside Down existed, and yet, both things were true.

After the “earthquake,” Steve’s parents had decided that they were moving out of Hawkins for good. They left the house for Steve only because they knew they’d lose money trying to sell it. He didn’t exactly love the house. It had always felt so empty and lonely to him. But, they’d needed a place to hide Eddie during his recovery while he was waiting for them to find a way to clear his name. Steve’s big, empty house seemed like the perfect place, and Eddie’s presence made the house seem a little less lonely.

Somewhere between helping to nurse Eddie back to health and the government pinning the murders on Victor Creel, their harmless flirting had grown into actual feelings and self-discovery, and even when it was safe for Eddie to move out, neither of them wanted it to happen.

They still kept seperate bedrooms for the moments where they wanted some privacy, but they spent most nights together. Sometimes, it was for more carnal desires, but other nights like the night before were for comfort. Just knowing that there was someone else there made sleeping easier, and Steve had far fewer nightmares when he was holding Eddie in his arms.

Steve had slept through the night without a single nightmare, so he was in a particularly good mood that morning. He tightened his grip and pulled Eddie a little closer as he pressed a kiss to the top of his head. This was his favorite place. Outside of his house, he couldn’t be as affectionate with Eddie as he wanted to be. He couldn’t put a label on whatever it was they were or show him off the way he would have with any of the girls he’d dated in the past. But safe within the four walls of his bedroom, he could show Eddie just how much he truly meant to him with the single soothing motion of his fingers gently tracing up and down his back.

“Too early,” Eddie groaned as he snuggled deeper into Steve’s chest. “Go back to sleep.”

“You say that every morning.”

“And every morning, I’m right.”

This was the game they played most days. Eddie complained about being woken up to see just how much affection he could weasel out of Steve, and Steve was happy to give it. They had both been so touch-starved before their relationship started that every lingering touch left them reeling. Now, it took a little bit more to get each other worked up, and each touch was more meaningful. Steve could show that he loved Eddie without having to say the words that he was so afraid to put out there.

“Do you really want to go back to sleep?” Steve asked. The hand that was rubbing Eddie’s back moved upwards to tangle into his hair as he started to massage the back of his head. “Because I think you’d much rather stay awake with me.”

Where Steve hated anyone touching his hair, Eddie was the exact opposite. All Steve had to do was wrap one of Eddie’s curls around his finger, and the man was putty in his hands. When Steve was feeling especially nice like he was that morning, he’d thread his fingers through Eddie’s hair and take his time gently scratching at his scalp. It was pure bliss, and Steve relished in the look that always graced Eddie’s face at the touch.

“You sure about that?” Eddie replied with a contented sigh. “Because you know how relaxing I find this. I could fall back asleep at any moment.”

“Maybe I just think you deserve a little extra affection.”

“Maybe I’ll let you give it to me.”

Eddie adjusted the way that he was laying against Steve so that he could rest his chin on the other man’s chest and look up at him.

“You’re too far away,” Steve pouted as he circled his arms around Eddie.

“I am quite literally laying on top of you. I couldn’t be closer if I tried.”

“I can’t reach your lips from there.”

“Why should I kiss you? You won’t let me sleep,” Eddie teased. He was only prolonging the inevitable. He couldn’t resist when Steve got needy. Partially because there were times where he found it hard to believe that any of this was real. Times where he couldn’t fathom that he was actually in Steve’s bed or that he was wanted there. Needed even. So his wandering hands and kisses kept him physically in the moment. Helped him to believe that the affection was real and wasn’t disappearing anytime soon.

“How about this? You come up here and give me a real kiss, and we can sleep for at least another hour,” Steve suggested.

“Two hours?”

“Okay. Two hours.”

“That I can agree to.”

Eddie shuffled his way up to capture Steve’s lips in a sweet kiss. He pulled away almost too quickly before rolling Steve over slightly to be his little spoon.

“Such a tease,” Steve laughed. “That was barely a kiss.”

Eddie playfully bit Steve’s shoulder as he draped his arm over Steve’s waist, their legs tangling together instantly.

“There’s plenty more where that came from,” Eddie promised. “In two hours. After I sleep.”

“I’m holding you to that.”

“I’d be offended if you didn’t.”

And so the two fell back asleep wrapped up in each other’s embrace feeling the love between them even without having to say the words.

[bang-tan-bitches]

Title: Beloved

Word Count: 17.4k

Rating: M

Genre: Drama/Thriller/Smut

Warnings: Yandere Behavior, Violence, Blood, Character Death, Emotional Manipulation, Hint of Dubious Consent, Unprotected Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Cream Pie, Oral Sex (Female Receiving), Mild Dirty Talk 

Pairing: Emperor!Yoongi X Reader

Summary: Court was just a game of politics after all. And you intended to win

Written By: Admin B

Note: This was entirely inspired by Daechwita and everyone should thank A for indulging my madness and encouraging me

“Are you even listening to me?”

 You jerk at the sound of your younger sister’s voice, the long carriage ride has made you sleepy. You glance over at her and give her an indulgent smile, “I’m sorry, darling. I can only listen to you wax poetic about his Imperial Highness’ esteemed looks for so long before I lose interest.”

You can’t help but laugh when Ara snaps her fan closed and tries to hit you with it, but you block it with your own fan.

“Stop or you’ll wrinkle your dress!” You giggle, “Then what will his majesty think of you?!”

She sits back in her seat, but you can see her eyes are shining with laughter. She looks positively breathtaking in her pale pink ceremonial dress. Her hair is beautifully styled with pearls and ribbons laced throughout. Her maids really made her as eye catching as possible. When the decree was first announced that all single ladies of marriageable age were invited to the palace on behalf of the imperial princess to find a bride for his majesty, you were concerned. You know Ara had fallen hopelessly in love with the emperor the one and only time she saw him, having begged father to take her to court with him two years prior. Ever since then she had this fairy tale dream in her head that they were meant to be together and you were terribly afraid of her getting hurt. 

“He really is beautiful,” her eyes are dreamy as she glances out the carriage window, “did I tell you how his hair is so pale that it practically shines like moonlight?”

“Yes, yes,” the sarcasm clear in your voice, “He is the most handsome and benevolent ruler our land has ever seen!” 

“He is,” you sister insists, “even with the scar!”

“He has a scar? I thought that was just a rumor.” You look out the carriage window to see how far you are from the palace. The ride seemed longer than usual, but that could have just been your boredom with the topic. You had no interest in politics - not that that had stopped your father from teaching you - and avoided going to court as much as possible. You had never even been in the presence of the emperor or the imperial princess. Ara had no interest in politics either, but that didn’t stop her dreams of becoming Empress.

“Oh! It’s not a rumor!” Your sister straightens her posture, “There’s a scar that covers his right eye! He got it during the great war when he was still the crown prince.”

“Why didn’t he -”

“Why didn’t he have the Imperial healers treat him and remove the scar?” Your sister cuts you off before you can finish your question, “He wanted a reminder to never show leniency. He was betrayed by some of his own men that weren’t loyal to the crown. He slaughtered not only the betrayers, but also their entire families.”

You furrow your brows and fix the long sleeves of your ceremonial dress, uncomfortable with the emperor’s apparent brutality, “Sounds cruel.”

“It’s not cruel. He had to ensure that no one would try to get revenge. He was protecting our kingdom from those that would try to take it!”

“Of course, of course,” you placate your sister and roll your eyes at her fervent defense of his highness.

“Don’t roll your eyes, I’m terribly sorry everyone can’t be as noble as your dear Namjoon.”

You frown, “First of all, he is Lord Kim and he deserves your respect. Secondly, he isn’t my dear anything. Nothing has been finalized. There has only been talk of marriage, but no contracts are in place.”

Ara scoffs, “Everyone knows he absolutely adores you. His eyes get all big and his cheeks turn bright pink whenever he sees you.”

You smile wistfully and look down at your lap, “He is rather adorable.”

“Mmmhmm and if it was up to him you would already be married and probably with child.”

“Ara, it is impolite to discuss such things.” You scold gently, “What if someone overheard you?”

“Who?” Ara dramatically looks around the carriage before resting back against her seat, “Who can possibly hear us? There is only me and you in this carriage. No one is going to hear us.”

“Still, you need to be appropriate, you cannot slip up at the palace.”

You both sit in silence for a moment, Ara with closed eyes gently fanning herself while you contemplate how to bring up what’s been weighing heavily on your mind. Your younger sister was spoiled and had always gotten her way, even you were guilty of indulging her every whim. You were terribly worried that she would not adjust to court life well. Your understanding was that the women could be even more vicious than the men and you needed to prepare her.

You chew your lip before deciding to broach the delicate topic, “I heard another rumor about your emperor.”

“Mmm… what’s that?” Ara opens one eye to look at you.

“I heard,” you lean forward and lower your voice, “that his harem is… extensive.”

Ara pouts adorably, “It is. Apparently he has over 300 concubines.”

“300? That has to be an exaggeration. No man would want 300 concubines. Although,” you continue quietly, “he is the emperor and a large harem would show off his wealth and power. Does he have a favorite among them?”

“Ugh,” you watch Ara’s eyes darken in anger, “Concubine Nam In-Suk. She is his favored concubine and I heard the only reason she wasn’t named his empress is because Imperial Princess Min would not allow it.”

“Why would the emperor care what his elder sister thinks?” You already know the answers to all these questions, but you hope that asking them will help Ara realize what she needs to do to secure her place as empress. The carriage starts to slow, you were almost to the palace and wouldn’t have much time alone to prepare her going forward and no time alone once you’d arrived.

“She is his advisor and closest confidant. He trusts her with everything.”

“Ara,” you grab your sister’s hand and give her a meaningful look, “It is very important that you gain the favor of Imperial Princess Min. If you have her blessing, you will not be denied. Most of the silly girls will be striving for Emperor Min’s attention, not realizing that the imperial princess is making the final choice.”

Ara nods her head, determined. “I will gain her favor.”

“Also,” you know she will hate what you are about to suggest, but it has to be done, “You need to become friendly with Concubine Nam.”

“Never!” Ara gasps and tries to pull away, “As soon as I’m chosen as empress I will make him disband his harem!”

“Ara, you cannot!” You lean close and let the severity of your demand bleed into your tone, “You must become friendly and show you are not a threat.” 

“But I am a threat…” she pushes her lip out in a pout. 

You squeeze her hand, “I know, darling. But court politics are not that different from bedroom politics. He will not get rid of his harem just because you demand it. If Concubine Nam thinks she can manipulate and play you, she will be less of a threat. She has his ear and his favor. Let them think you are stupid little girl with stars in her eyes. It will bend them to your will.”

 “But,” Ara’s voice is quiet, “I want him to love only me.”

“Oh my beloved Ara,” you hold her close to you, “these things take time. Once you bed him and provide an heir, you will secure your place at his side. He will have to love and cherish only you. How could he not?”

Her smile is blinding when the carriage stops outside the palace gates. 

-0-0-0-

“Relax,” you whisper, “you are the most beautiful lady here. You have nothing to fear.”

Ara releases her bottom lip and nods subtly. When you had arrived at the palace earlier that day, you were welcomed inside to a large hall filled with other single young ladies and their chaperones, all from the most prominent families in the kingdom. Imperial Princess Min herself greeted everyone and announced that a welcome banquet would be held that evening. You were then ushered to your rooms where you could refresh yourselves before the evening. The Daisy Courtyard would serve as your temporary home for the next few weeks. It was a smaller courtyard, but it was beautiful and secluded and you were thankful to learn that it was nowhere near the concubine courtyard. 

It was almost impossible to remember how quiet the courtyard was now. 

Now, in the palace banquet room awaiting the arrival of the emperor for what felt like hours with the crowd growing more restless by the minute, you dearly missed the seclusion. Imperial Princess Min was present, drinking wine and enjoying the performance of the dancers brought in for entertainment. If she was upset with the late arrival of her brother, her face did not show it.

The music abruptly stops and everyone quiets down. The large golden doors at the back of the room are opened and an imperial servant steps in, placing their fisted hand over their heart, they bow and announce, “His Royal Highness, Emperor Min Yoongi, 37th Emperor of the Min Dynasty.”

Everyone immediately bows, giving reverence to the Emperor. He is dressed in the darkest black with gold dangling from his ears, neck, and fingers.  His blond hair is pulled up into a high topknot and a black headband is across his forehead. 

You notice a beautiful woman trailing a few steps behind him. She is covered in diamonds. They glitter from her shiny black hair down to the long train of her bright purple ceremonial dress. The dress itself is decorated in patterns of golden tigers, matching the pattern of the emperor’s black robe.

By the clenching of Ara’s hands, you realize that this must be Concubine Nam. You discreetly nudge your sister and mouth for her to relax. 

The emperor takes his seat on his golden dragon throne, while his favored concubine sits obediently at his feet. His presence is overpowering and you can feel his displeasure radiating throughout the room.  

“So… I was told that one of you will be this emperor’s bride and empress consort.” Emperor Min’s voice is deep and controlled, but the underlying fury is unmistakable. You can feel his eyes trail over the room, “Do you really think that one of you will enrapture this emperor? Do you truly believe one of you will become my chosen?”

Everyone is deathly silent, afraid of angering his highness even more. You can feel his penetrating gaze stop on you. You did not dare look upon the face of the emperor. You knew the rules of the court. You keep your eyes lowered and wait for his eyes to move past you. 

They don’t.

You can still feel him staring at you and after several silent minutes you hesitantly look up and meet his eyes. You feel your breath catch in your throat. He is startlingly beautiful. His features are delicate but his scar provides him a hint of roguishness that accentuates his already extraordinary beauty. 

His gaze is intense and you can feel his angry aura disappear to something unreadable. His dark eyes are burning with something as a devilishly handsome smile spreads across his face.

You quickly lower your eyes and ignore the chill down your spine and the heat spreading across your face. You now understand how your sister could be so enraptured with one look. 

The emperor laughs, startling you into looking again. He’s staring at his sister and smiling. You can see Concubine Nam’s face screwed up, but staring at the floor. You look away quickly before he can feel your stare. His voice is filled with warmth and something else, something unsettling, “Maybe this emperor will finally meet his bride amongst the ladies here today. Rise and enjoy the welcome feast.”

Immediately servants present platters of food to the various tables and the music starts again. You ignore the burning gaze you feel on you and direct your attention to Ara.

“Make sure you eat. You have to be strong if you plan to carry the next heir of the kingdom.” You add more food to her plate.

“Yes, yes,” Ara giggles and pushes your hand away, “I could feel him staring in our direction. Did you feel it too?”

You force a smile, “Of course. How could he not stare at you. I told you that you were the most beautiful lady here.”

When it’s your turn to introduce yourselves to the royal family, you make sure to keep your head low and only make eye contact with Imperial Princess Min once you’re allowed to rise. Next to you, your sister does the same, following your example, even as you feel the hot eyes of the emperor on you once again. Ara pays a pretty compliment to the Princess, and you smile proudly when the Princess laughs delightedly and asks for your names. 

“Oh, I remember you. And your father.” Princess Min says, a delicate finger resting on her bottom lip. She shares a look with her brother and you can feel the hateful eyes of Concubine Nam on you and your sister. You ignore her. You needed Ara to win over Princess Min before she won the hearts of anyone else. “I look forward to getting to know you once again. Both of you.” 

You smile, and bow again before moving on to let the others greet the royal family. 

Ignoring the heavy weight of Emperor Min’s gaze, you try to keep your sister distracted and engaged during the remainder of the banquet. For every goblet of wine your sister has, you make sure she also has a goblet of water. You don’t want her embarrassing herself in front of the other eligible ladies. You relax once the emperor’s gaze is no longer focused on you and take the chance to glance towards the throne, noticing the emperor in a deep discussion with his sister. The imperial princess has a strange smile on her face and is nodding her head along to whatever his highness is saying. You also notice that Concubine Nam is nowhere to be seen.

“Where did Concubine Nam go?”

“What?” Ara quickly looks around the large hall, her voice tinged with excitement, “Concubine Nam? His highness must have sent her away.”

"Strange..” you take a delicate bite of the fresh dumplings brought out by the servants, smiling a bit at how excited Ara is to find her possible rival missing, “I thought she never left his side.”  

“Well…” Ara is interrupted by the arrival of an imperial maid. The maid bows her head respectively and holds a silver tray with a folded golden parchment.

You grab the parchment and slowly open it, quickly read the contents, fold it and place it back on the tray. “Please tell your mistress we accept.”

The maid bows and scurries away. You watch her go and keep a calm mask on your face, even as your heart is racing. You knew the point of these banquets and festivities was to find the Emperor a bride, but to receive an invitation so quickly… You notice many of the young ladies in attendance are watching and you refuse to show any sort of emotion. 

Court was just a game of politics after all. And you intended to win. For Ara. 

Ara grabs your hand under the table where no one can see, “What was that about?”

“Ara, did you bring that pretty pale green dress that grandfather gifted you for your birthday last year?” You take a sip of your wine, and keep your tone low.

“Of course.” Ara nods her head and grabs some fruit slices from one of the platters on the table, but by the tenseness of her shoulders, you could feel her excitement. You would have to instruct her on how to hide it better. 

“Good. Wear it tomorrow.” You squeeze her hand, “we are invited to the morning meal with Imperial Princess Min.”

-0-0-0-

Imperial Princess Min’s courtyard and private rooms are absolutely gorgeous. Everything is draped in golds and pastels and smells of the fresh flowers that are placed throughout her rooms. The three of you sit at a finely crafted table in her pavilion, the only sounds are the bubbling of the large fountain nearby and the tinkling of the platters of food as they are placed upon the table before you. 

“Thank you for joining me this beautiful morning.” Princess Min smiles sweetly at you both, once you rise from your bow, gesturing for a maid to pour tea, “I do hope you enjoy the meal.”

“We are honored to be invited by her majesty for a meal. Thank you.” You bow your head reverently and sit in the chair the maid has pulled out. 

“Yes, thank you, your highness.” Your sister follows suit. The plates are quickly set with delicious smelling food, but you can only sip your tea, taking your cue from the princess who has barely glanced at her plate. 

“Tell me,” Princess Min takes a dainty sip of tea, “Are you enjoying your time at the palace?”

“It is very beautiful here. We are forever indebted to the emperor and the imperial princess for allowing us to visit.” You keep your voice soft and your sister nods along, her cheeks slightly puffed with the food she has in her mouth.

“And your rooms…” Princess Min continues, directing a maid to put some kimchi on her plate, “are they to your liking?”

“Yes your majesty. The Daisy courtyard is beautiful. Thank you for gracing us with such lovely lodgings.”

The princess inclines her head briefly and smiles, “What do you think of the emperor?”

“Oh, he is wonderful. The best ruler our empire has ever seen.” Ara gushes enthusiastically, “May our emperor live ten thousand years!”

You and Princess Min share a small smile, both seeing that Ara is completely infatuated with his highness. You take a small bite of the delicious food on your plate as Ara continues to praise the emperor. 

“And you?” Princess Min interrupts your sister and turns her gaze on you. Her dark eyes are so similar to her brother that it catches you off guard for a moment, “What do you think of the emperor?”

You didn’t understand why but you feel like your answer holds more weight than your sister’s. You lick your suddenly dry lips, smile demurely at the imperial princess and respond as blandly but nicely as possible, “His highness is a most generous and benevolent king.”

“That he is.” Princess Min smiles and glances at your sister, “And what are your thoughts on his harem?”

Your sister is quiet for a moment and you can see her struggling with finding what she wants to say, you gracefully answer for her, “I’m sure my sister would be most grateful to have others help serve the emperor.”

“Yes!” Ara nods eagerly, “I am most grateful that the emperor has many to keep him company.”

Princess Min hides a giggle behind her hand and you tilt your head, curious what could make the Princess giggle like that. 

“Indeed. You may be grateful for the… help.”

Your eyes widen but Ara continues to look confused. You share a look with the Princess before she continues, “My brother, the Emperor, has a… healthy appetite.” 

As if summoned by your discussion of him, your meal is interrupted by the arrival of a servant stepping into the pavilion, “His Royal Highness, Emperor Min Yoongi, 37th Emperor of the Min Dynasty.”

You and Ara quickly place down your chopsticks and stand from your seats to bow properly. 

“You may rise.” The emperor’s voice is deeper than you remember. He is dressed in an informal black robe patterned with crimson lotus flowers. Thick golden necklaces rest against his collarbones and his pale hair is pulled up into another topknot. You notice that his long, golden earrings aren’t as extravagant as the ones he wore the night before. You and Ara quickly return to your seats.

“Here is my darling sister.” The Emperor gently kisses Princess Min’s cheek before sitting in the empty chair that is placed directly across from you by a servant. “I hope you do not mind if I join you three for the morning meal.”

“Imperial Brother I can see right through you.” Princess Min giggles, “You just want to look at my pretty company.”

You feel your breath hitch when the emperor locks eyes with you, a dangerous smile pulling at his full lips, “Can you blame me? I cannot remember the last time I’ve been so enchanted.”

Princess Min smiles and glances between you and your sister, “The sisters are true beauties.”

“Indeed,” The emperor's eyes flicker to your sister before focusing back on you, “It’s refreshing to know that a father did not exaggerate his claims of his daughters’ virtues.”

"Our beauty does not dare compare to the Imperial Princess." Your sister answers perfectly, the flattery clear in her voice. You see the smile spread across Princess Min’s face, clearly pleased with Ara’s answer. 

Princess Min and Ara chatter for a while, the emperor occasionally joining the conversation, but his burning gaze never leaves your face. If anyone else notices his attention on you, they dare not mention it. You stay quiet, trying not to draw any attention away from Ara. You are proud of your sister, she is so poised as she engages in conversation with the royals. You were worried she would freeze up, or even worse, prattle on incessantly about nothing. You motion for a servant to refill your teacup and are startled when the emperor waives the servant away, refilling your cup himself. “Please, allow me.”

Everything stops around you at his actions, even the servants seem to freeze in place. You glance at your sister and the imperial princess, both completely in shock at the emperor’s generosity. Although you notice the imperial princess has a look of unbridled delight in her dark eyes.

“Thank you, your grace.” You incline your head and keep your face impassive. Only years of training drilled into you by your tutors prepared you for this. A lady must always be composed and even though you feel like your heart is going to beat out of your chest, you keep calm. You have no idea why his eminence would pour your tea as if he was your servant, but did not dare question his actions. 

The silence lasts longer than is socially acceptable and when you dare to look at him, the emperor’s eyes are already focused on you. You can feel Ara’s eyes darting between the two of you, but you can only focus on the emperor. He opens his mouth to say something when your meal is interrupted by several maids rushing into the room. His eyes release you from your trance as he looks away. 

You tell yourself that you’re grateful for the interruption. 

“Your highness!!!” They all drop to their knees once they see the emperor, their heads touching the ground, “Your highness you must hurry. Concubine Nam has collapsed!”

You glance at the maids in alarm and look back at the emperor, his brows furrowed, “Have the imperial healers been summoned?”

“Of course, your highness.” The head maid answers, rising from her bow. You realize that they must have been the personal maids of Concubine Nam. The other maids remain on their knees, foreheads pressed to the ground. 

The emperor turns away from the maids and takes a sip of his tea, dismissing them without words. You watch the head maid bite her lip before taking a step forward, “Please your highness, she is calling for you.”

You can see the displeasure on the emperor’s face. His eyes are angry, but the anger fades when he looks at you. He stares at you for a moment as if he’s waiting for your approval. You swallow and glance at the maids before meeting his gaze, “Your highness, please forgive this lowly maiden for speaking out of turn, but your beloved needs you. You should be at her side.”

“My beloved?” His voice is filled with mirth, and you wonder what is so humorous.

“Yes, your majesty.” You continue, licking your lips. His eyes follow your tongue. “Everyone knows she is your favored concubine. She needs you. You must attend to her.”

“You’re right.” His smile disarms you, again causing your breath to catch. “I must do what my beloved asks of me.”

With a swirl of his black robes, he is gone. The maids and his personal servants trailing behind him. 

The silence left by the emperor’s abrupt departure is broken by the tired sigh of the Imperial Princess. “I apologize for Imperial Brother.”

“No, no,” you immediately respond, seeing a forlorn expression on the princess’ face, “It’s alright. Concubine Nam needs him. I do hope she is alright.”

“Yes, hopefully it is nothing serious.” Your sister cannot hide the distaste in her voice at the mention of the concubine.

“Oh, it’s nothing serious.” The princess laughs scornfully, “Concubine Nam always pulls some sort of devious trick whenever she thinks my brother’s attention might be taken away from her.”

You glance in the direction the emperor disappeared, “Does she?”

“Yes. It’s pathetic.” 

You choke back a giggle when the princess rolls her eyes and instantly feel yourself relax. 

“She thinks she has my brother wrapped around her finger. Always throwing a tantrum or faking some sort of illness.” She sneers and shakes her head, looking at you as if confiding something, “Several months ago, when I first spoke to my brother about finding a potential bride, I thought for sure that she would do something then, but it looks like the little bitch was just biding her time.”

“That is terrible.” If Ara is shocked at the vulgar language used by the princess, her face doesn’t show it. She is calm and poised and while you know she has a million questions she wants to ask, she is keeping her composure until the two of you are alone in your courtyard. “Hopefully his highness sees through her tricks.”

“She’s not half as clever as she thinks she is. He knows exactly what she is doing, but he indulges her.”

“I’m sure his majesty has his reasons,” you smile at the princess, “have faith in your brother.”

Princess Min stares at you, a contemplative look on her face. You don’t know what she is looking for, but after a few quiet moments she smiles beautifully, “Yes. Of course, you’re right. I have faith in the emperor. He was chosen by the gods to rule our kingdom.”

“May he live ten thousand years.” Ara says solemnly. You and Princess Min murmur in agreement.

“Still,” Princess Min’s voice is resolute as she gestures for a maid to refill her tea cup, “Concubine Nam cannot be trusted. Be careful.”

You sip your tea, pushing thoughts of the emperor’s dark eyes to the back of your mind and wonder just how much danger your sister is in.

-0-0-0-

When you return to your courtyard, servants are rushing around packing your trunks..

“Excuse me,” you feel bad interrupting one of the maids, but you have no idea what is going on and can’t help but fear the worst, “what is happening?”

“My lady,” the maid bows her head, “we have orders to move you and your sister to the Golden Bell courtyard.”

You frown and watch the servants continue to carry out your things, Ara clutches your hand, “On whose orders?”

“His Royal Highness.”

“As you were.” You dismiss the maid and turn towards Ara. You can see the excitement in her eyes. She’s practically vibrating. You nod for her to follow you out to the main yard where an imperial carriage is waiting to take you to your new courtyard.

“Sister,” She whispers, “The Golden Bell Courtyard. That’s closer to Imperial Princess Min’s private courtyard.”

“I know.”

-0-0-0-

The Golden Bell Courtyard is stunning. The main yard is filled with the fragrant Golden Bell flowers and the rooms were at least twice the size of your previous courtyard. Ara is practically giddy with excitement as she throws herself down on the large bed in the room you chose.

“He must already be in love with me.” 

“Why wouldn’t he be?” You were surprised Ara was able to contain herself until the servants left. 

“Everything is so luxurious.”

“It is.” You sit yourself at the fancy dressing table in the corner of the room and check your reflection in the bronzed mirror, “You should get used to this.”

Ara giggles and snuggles into the soft bedding. You watch her through the mirror and smile at her behavior. She was still so young and you wish you could shelter her forever. You still worried about her marrying into the imperial family, but you felt a little better knowing that Imperial Princess Min seems to have warmed to her. “You need to thank his majesty at tonight’s banquet.” 

“Of course.” Your sister smiles and throws a soft goose feather pillow in the air, “I will make sure to thank him for his hospitality.”

-0-0-0-

Unfortunately, Emperor Min is not at the banquet that night. In fact, you were informed, for the next fourteen days he would not be attending any of the events Imperial Princess Min had scheduled.

You can tell the princess is upset. Her smile seems a little more strained and while she is able to handle everything as a hostess should, you can tell she is very stressed about whatever the emperor is currently handling. You have a strong suspicion it is related to Concubine Nam, but it is not your place to ask questions so you remain quiet. You do, however, try your best to help where you can, becoming a steadfast and loyal companion to her majesty, continuing to have meals with her whenever she requests and spending many afternoons in her pavilion with her. She would ask your opinions of the young ladies from the different households and tell you about what would be required of the empress consort. As the days moved along, the princess dismissed more and more of the potential brides for his majesty until only a handful were left. You were pleased that Ara seems to be the favorite.

You sit across from the Imperial Princess. She sent you a note at the morning meal requesting you to join her in her plum blossom garden this afternoon. You can tell the princess is upset. Her lips are pursed and her fingers are white as she grips her cup of tea tightly. You're afraid the delicate cup might crack. 

“Your majesty’s plum blossom garden is beautiful. It must be the most fragrant and lovely plum blossom garden in all of the empire.”

Imperial Princess Min gives you a soft smile. She dismisses the servants and they step back so they are out of hearing range, but close enough to see if her highness requires anything.

“Concubine Nam is with child.”

You are silent for a moment. You keep yourself composed and don’t dare show your thoughts on your face. Your mind is frantically trying to process what this means. How could this have happened? What does this mean for Ara? 

You swallow and gently speak, “Princess Min, please forgive this simple one for questioning, but I thought it was against the imperial law for a concubine to bear children?”

“It is.” Princess Min throws her tea cup on the ground in anger, two imperial maids rush over to clean up the shattered mess and prepare another cup of tea for her majesty. Once the servants step away, the Princess continues, “She stopped drinking the herbal tea the day my brother agreed to find a bride.”

“Will Concubine Nam be punished?” You don’t look at the princess when you ask, you focus on the full cup of tea in front of you.

“If she is punished, it won’t be until after she gives birth.” Princess Min takes a small bite of sweet cake, “The little bitch thinks the emperor will make her his empress consort.”

“Will he?” 

“No,” Princess Min gives you a reassuring smile, “He will choose someone most deserving.” Her eyes shift as she stares at you until you feel you have to look away. “He’s been diligently working on preparing everything for his chosen consort. That and this unfortunate incident with Concubine Nam has kept him busy.”

You feel relief to know that Concubine Nam’s schemes do not seem to be working. And from the knowing smile the princess gives you, you feel elated that Ara will definitely be chosen as the consort. “What of the child?”

“The child will be recognized as a prince of the kingdom, but not an heir. Only the Empress can provide an heir.” Princess Min still looks unhappy, “I hope this won’t affect things going forward.”

It almost sounds like a question, as if she’s asking you if it will affect things. But you know that can’t be. You release a breath you didn’t know you were holding. This news will be upsetting to Ara, but not all is lost. This can still be salvaged. She could still marry and become the empress. Her child will still be the rightful heir. “No, I’m sure my sister will love any child that his highness produces.”

“Oh, yes, of course your sister would.” Princess Min gives you a curious smile, her dark eyes shining as if she’s amused. She takes your free hand in hers, “I hope I can request your confidence in this matter.” She says and gives your hand an almost too tight squeeze, “This must not be told to anyone.”

“Of course,” You nod your head solemnly, “I won’t say a word.”

 -0-0-0-

The Emperor continues to absent himself from any events involving the possible consorts for the next several days. Even though it had yet to be announced, you knew he had already decided on an empress consort, therefore he did not need to attend any of the lavish events and parties his sister had scheduled. Though as the days progress and nothing more happens, you grow more and more concerned over Ara’s position until finally you are moved again to an even larger, more extravagant courtyard. 

The Mugunghwa Courtyard. 

The Mugunghwa Courtyard was reserved for the empress consort and is located directly next to the emperor’s private courtyard. The servants treat you and your sister like royalty, you are given the same respects the emperor and his sister are provided. Ara is enjoying the envious glares she receives from the other ladies and you allow her to enjoy her victory, but remind her to be polite and courteous to the servants because they will be her eyes and ears to what is happening in the other courtyards(including the harem).

Soon after you’re comfortably moved into the Mugunghwa Courtyard, the gifts begin arriving. Some days when you return to your rooms after the festivities, you find fresh Mugunghwa flowers on your bed. One morning you wake up and find a bottle of sweet perfumed oil. You know that it isn’t uncommon for a groom to bestow gifts upon his bride’s family, but you’re a little uncomfortable as the days progress and the gifts become more elaborate. Silk slippers, golden hairpieces, diamond necklaces… it’s all too much. Ara has also been receiving small gifts, flowers and oils. You don’t know why, but you don’t mention the jewelry or clothing to her. 

You continue to spend time with Imperial Princess Min, her personal servants would invite you, and only you, to have a private audience with her almost daily. Once, you asked her where the emperor was, as you had not seen him since breakfast almost a week ago. She had smiled at you as if you’d said the one thing she longed to hear, and informed you he’d been out of the palace. Taking care of business. But assures you that he would return soon. 

“If you would like, we can invite him to breakfast again.” She takes your arm and giggles, as if breakfast with her brother is against the rules. “But I might get jealous if my soon-to-be sister pays more attention to my brother than me.” 

Your heart soars at her words. This is practically confirmation that Ara will be chosen!

She keeps you updated on the goings on with Concubine Nam. The child is growing strong, and Concubine Nam has already started showing a small bump on her otherwise perfect body. While you never wish harm on anyone, you cannot hide your small sense of satisfaction when you're told that Concubine Nam is visibly distraught over the fact that the emperor has not once visited her since she collapsed.

You are still very concerned about Ara finding out about the pregnancy. You have kept your word and stayed silent on the matter, but you know Ara’s bubble of happiness will burst once she is made aware. You spend many of your days touring the multiple gardens of The Mugunghwa Courtyard in contemplation, trying to decide if you should tell Ara what is happening. 

You’re taking a leisurely stroll in the hibiscus garden when you suddenly feel like you’re being watched. This happens most days when you’re alone in the gardens, but no one is ever around so you dismiss it as your imagination. You startle when you hear the emperor’s deep voice call your name.

You spin around quickly and meet the burning gaze of the emperor. He’s dressed in his signature black robe, but this one is patterned with dark blue koi fish. His pale hair is pulled back in a low ponytail with a black headband across his forehead. Today he is wearing one long golden earring and a heavy golden choker around his throat. 

You briefly wonder if he would adorn his Empress in so much gold. 

“Your highness!” You immediately remember yourself and bow low.

You are still bent low and staring at the ground when you see a long black robe come into view. You feel a gentle finger under your chin and your head is tilted up until you’re standing again and staring directly up into the emperor’s perfect face.

He continues to stare at you, his eyes swirling with emotion. His finger moves from your chin to rub along your bottom lip and your eyes close involuntarily. He leans closer and you can smell the clean scent of his skin. You feel his breath on your lips…

The sound of a throat clearing jolts you. You snap your eyes open and immediately step away from the emperor’s personal space. Emperor Min is glaring heatedly at a eunuch who is standing several feet behind him. The eunuch looks apologetic, but you are grateful. 

“Your majesty, are you also here to tour the gardens?” You can feel your cheeks heat and you absentmindedly smooth out your dress. “The hibiscus garden is especially fragrant this time of year.”

His eyes are gentle when he looks at you. He gives you a soft smile, “No. I am here to see you.”

“Me? I do not know what I have done to deserve your attention. How can I help his majesty?”

Emperor Min’s voice is serious, “You deserve more than my attention. You deserve everything.”

You turn away from his penetrating gaze, focusing on a nearby flower, “Your highness has been very kind to me and my sister. I cannot thank you enough.”

“Do not thank me.” The emperor chuckles, “I am a king. I always have an ulterior motive.”

You realize he is most likely speaking of Ara. As Ara’s elder sister, you know you have the most influence over her and her opinions. He is trying to gain your favor so she will be more likely to accept his suit, but he must know that Ara is already in love with him. Princess Min would never keep that information from him.

“I have a gift for you.”

“Another gift?” You look up at his handsome face, “I couldn’t possibly accept anything else. You’ve been so generous already.” 

Faster than you can blink, his face is so close to yours, you can feel the brush of his lips as he speaks, his hand on your chin and eyes locked with yours. 

“I am the emperor. It is my divine right to give what I want, and to take what I want. Do you understand?” 

You blink and quickly lower your eyes, unable to bow your head, “Yes, your highness.” 

He moves away and you catch yourself before you can stumble from the suddenness of it all. 

“Eunuch Ki.” Emperor Min gestures and the eunuch steps forward holding a small wooden box, golden dragons painted on it. Eunuch Ki opens the box and you cannot stop your gasp when the contents are revealed. A beautifully hand carved jade bracelet is nestled within. You can see that your name is engraved in it along with the symbols of beauty and love. 

Emperor Min holds out his hand, waiting for you to give him yours. You place your hand in his and watch quietly as he gently pushes up the sleeve of your dress. His hand is so much larger than yours and you shiver when his thumb gently rubs along your wrist.

Eunuch Ki hands him the bracelet and he tenderly clasps it around your wrist. 

“Perfect.”

 You feel something inside you stir, “It’s lovely.” 

 “Not as lovely as the wrist it adorns,” he meets your eyes, “it becomes you.” 

You know you should pull away, part of you desperately wants to pull away. But he is the Emperor, and you know better. 

“Ara loves her gifts too!” You blurt out, trying desperately to control the way your heart is pounding. 

His face scrunches in thought and he tilts his head, “Ara… yes. Your sister. I’m glad she enjoys her gifts as well.” He raises your hand, flips it in his, and places a kiss on the inside of your wrist, lips brushing the cool jade beads. “Don’t take it off.” He commands, before leaving you alone once more. 

-0-0-0-

After that, you did not go into the gardens alone, always making sure Ara or Princess Min is with you. While you never did run into the Emperor in the gardens again, you still sometimes felt his burning gaze on you, but when you looked around, he was never there.

Today, you and Ara are staying in your own courtyard. You feel that both of you need a break from court. You know you certainly do. You have already had your morning meal in your rooms and were currently relaxing in one of the many drawing rooms. You smile as Ara pricks her finger again on her needlework. “Be careful Ara. A lady's hands should be soft and delicate.”

You can’t hide your laughter at the adorable glower she gives you. “Why do I have to do this? When I’m empress, I’ll have the royal seamstresses do this for me.”

“It’s a good skill to have and maybe your husband would want a personalized gift from you.”

Ara pouts but doesn’t say anything else. You sit in comfortable silence, her trying to embroider and you snacking on small sweet cakes. The days seem to be getting slightly cooler and you were appreciative. You didn’t know how long this consort selection was going to take, but you were already longing for home. You had written several letters to your father, letting him know of Ara’s progress and wanting to hear any news from home. You were hoping maybe your marriage to Lord Kim would be finalized, but unfortunately, there was no news about that. Your father seemed to avoid mentioning Lord Kim at all. As for Lord Kim himself, you sent him a few brief letters asking after his health and wellbeing, but had yet to receive a response. He was normally very quick to reply to your letters, but you brushed off his lack of response due to the fact that he must be very busy.

Your musings are interrupted by the arrival of several imperial servants and a finely dressed eunuch. They are carrying two large golden trunks and place them down in front of you and your sister. The eunuch steps forward and bows low.

“My ladies,” You recognize the eunuch as the emperor’s most trusted servant, Eunuch Ki, the one who was at his side in the hibiscus garden, “His Royal Highness would be most pleased if the mistresses would accept his gifts.”

You and Ara share a look and you quickly stand from the soft, golden sofa, “Thank you, Eunuch Ki. We are honored to receive gifts from his eminence.”

The large golden trunks are opened and you can hear Ara’s gasp of delight. The emperor has provided each of you a ceremonial dress made of fine, silk fabric and beautiful hair ornaments. Ara’s dress is a gorgeous light blue patterned with silver butterflies. The matching hair ornament is a hair pin styled in beautiful swirls of silver and jade, a single butterfly resting on top.  

Your dress is colored a rich gold and patterned with black mandarin ducks, diamonds line the long sleeves and train. The matching hair ornament is also a hair pin, but it looks to be solid gold with two mandarin ducks resting on top of a bed of orchids made out of diamonds. You hesitate at the pattern on the dress, unsure if this is a mistake. 

“If it pleases the mistresses, his highness requests you wear his gifts to the Grand Banquet tomorrow evening.”

“Of course, we would be delighted.” Ara beams at Eunuch Ki when you don’t respond right away, your eyes still focused on the pattern on your dress. 

“Eunuch Ki,” you follow him to the entrance of the drawing room, your voice quiet so others cannot overhear, “I feel there might be a mistake.” You gesture to your dress and your eyes flicker towards an oblivious Ara.

Eunuch Ki eyes you for a moment, his look is heavy and almost pitying, “The Emperor does not make mistakes.”

You swallow hard and nod at Eunuch Ki, closing the door behind him and turn to look at Ara. She’s already holding the dress up against herself and admiring it in the mirror. 

The Emperor might not make mistakes, but you were beginning to think you had. 

-0-0-0-

You slowly make your way towards the courtyard of the imperial princess. After Eunuch Ki had left last night, you received a summons from the Imperial Princess. She requested you to meet her for afternoon tea the following day before the grand banquet. 

This side of the palace was oddly quiet. You knew that everyone was preparing for the grand banquet, so all the activity would be much livelier near the grand banquet hall. You had yet to see that hall, apparently it was large enough to hold all the noble families of the kingdom comfortably. 

When you enter her private pavilion, Imperial Princess Min is reclining on a giant resting sofa, a servant girl fanning her. 

“Your highness.” You bow your head reverently and wait for her to receive you.

She smiles beautifully and sits up, her dark eyes shining beautifully, as she holds her hands out to you, “I’m so glad you are here.”

“Your Highness flatters me.” You go to her, smiling as you take her hands in your own before releasing them to gesture to the ornately carved tea table in the corner, “Afternoon tea?”

“Yes, we have much to discuss.” Princess Min stands up and elegantly makes her way to the table, you follow obediently behind her. Once you are both seated, Princess Min gestures for a servant to pour tea.

“Are you excited for tonight’s banquet?” Princess Min takes a sip of her tea, “I’m so very excited and the banquet isn’t even for me.”

“Of course, tonight is a grand occasion. It deserves to be celebrated properly.” You swallow a sip of tea and look around the beautiful pavilion. “Thank you so much for the hospitality you have shown my sister and I. Your kindness will never be forgotten.”

Princess Min smiles at you and chatters about the drama currently happening in the harem courtyard, Concubine Nam was still holding hope that Emperor Min would choose her as his bride, while the other concubines were furious over her blatant violation of the rules. You listen and chime in when necessary, indulging in Princess Min’s love for gossip. 

“What would you do with Concubine Nam and the harem?” Princess Min asks you, her voice curious, “How would you handle this entire scandal?”

“Well,” You ponder over her question for a moment. She had asked you similar questions before, but usually about how you would handle this political issue or that. Never one quite so close to home. You take another sip of tea, deciding how to answer without offending her, “an example would have to be made.”

“What kind of example?” Princess Min tilts her head slightly, her dark eyes swirling with something, “if you had the power, what would you do?”

“If I had the power?” You gesture for a servant to pour you another cup of tea and laugh softly, “If I had the power, my husband would not have a harem at all.”

Princess Min stares at you, her eyes practically glowing, “No harem? A normal man would not agree to your terms.”

You smile, “I will not marry just any man. I will marry a man solely devoted to me.”

The Princess giggles beautifully, “I love your way of thinking.”

“Well,” you giggle along with the princess, “My way of thinking isn’t something that is approved of. Luckily for his majesty, Ara will gladly allow him his harem.”

The princess quiets down and gestures for a servant to place a small, sweet cake on both of your plates. Her smile is sweet, “Tell me…”

“Hmm?” You tilt your head in question and take a small sip of tea.

Princess Min’s voice is light and soft, “when are you going to stop playing ignorant?”

You still completely, your stomach bubbling with dread. You keep your face calm and composed, but your heart is beating rapidly. After a brief silence, you question, “Pardon? Whatever do you mean?”

“You’re a very clever woman, it’s why I like you so much.” Her sweet smile never leaves her face, but her eyes are dark and cold. “You know exactly what I mean.” 

“No,” You keep your voice firm, “I do not know what you mean at all.”

Princess Min’s smile widens, but her dark eyes are unsettling, “Did you enjoy Imperial Brother’s latest gift?”

You slowly set your tea cup on the table, “His highness gives the most thoughtful gifts, we are forever in his debt.”

“You know, he chose the pattern and colors himself.”

“About that,” you lick your lips before continuing, “Eunuch Ki gave me the golden dress by mistake.”

“Oh you are good. For someone who claims they have no interest in court or politics, that is. Though you need a little more training before you sit in on a council.” The Princess takes a bite of cake, her eyes flashing, “I don’t recommend playing dumb with me, however.” 

“I don’t know what you could possibly mean.” 

The Princess ignores your remark, “Have you heard of my betrothed? Prince Regent Jung Hoseok. He’s the general of the Imperial Army.”

“Of course,” your mind frantically tries to understand where the connection is, “He has helped the emperor win many battles.”

“Did you know that he was betrothed before?”

You shake your head, but don’t reply. You have no idea what this discussion has to do with the emperor’s gifts, but you didn’t dare interrupt or question her.

“He grew up in the palace here with Imperial Brother and I. My father, the emperor at the time, practically raised him as one of his own. He was Imperial Brother’s companion and also to be his general in war. I had been in love with him since I was very young. He was all I ever wanted.” Princess Min Glances off into the distance, as if she’s reminiscing, “For his outstanding work as the General of the Imperial Army, my father gifted him a marriage to a nobleman’s daughter... Lord Tokko’s only daughter, Yeong.”

Lord Tokko’s name was vaguely familiar to you, you had heard your father mention him a few times. As for his daughter, you had never heard of this woman, but by the tone of Princess Min’s voice and the frown on her face, you know it was someone that the princess did not like.

“The Prince Regent agreed to the marriage, he actually cared for her, thought himself to be in love,” The princess scoffs and takes a small sip of tea, “It was not hard for me to get my father to agree to have Lady Yeong come to the palace to serve as a friend and companion for me.”

“She was one of the kindest, sweetest, young women I had ever met.” The Princess locks eyes with you, “So trusting that even as she lay dying, it never crossed her mind that I was the one that poisoned her.”

You're quiet for several moments, trying to gather your thoughts. Your voice is a little shaky when you finally ask, “Why are you telling me this?”

Princess Min ignores you once again, “We thought the sickness had skipped my brother. It usually only manifests itself in the women in my family, my grandmother had it too, you know?”

“What sickness?” You are growing more alarmed. The Princess was revealing information and secrets that you should not know and you did not understand her reasoning.

Again, Princess Min ignores you, continuing her story as if she were a player on stage and you the enraptured audience, “He never showed any symptoms, not a care in the world for anyone but himself. The closest he came was Concubine Nam, but nothing serious ever happened with her. He would never make her his consort, so I knew she wasn’t the one.”

“Imagine my elation when you finally arrived. You have turned out to be all we hoped for and more.” Princess Min smiles at you beautifully, her dark eyes shining almost manically, “The moment he saw you, your fate was sealed.”

Before today, having Princess Min’s confidence made you feel warm and welcomed. Now you only feel dread. 

“I.. I...” You lick your too dry lips and stumble over your words, your composure crumbling in the wake of the Imperial Princess’ confession, “I am to be married to Lord Kim. My father is working out the contracts.”

“Lord Kim?” The princess giggles, “My brother wanted to strip him and his family of their lands and titles, but I was able to talk him back from that.”

“I don’t understand.” You feel cold all over.

“Yes, you do.” The princess gestures and a maid comes forward holding a silver tray, the princess grabs the small bundle of letters and tosses them on the table, “You’re lucky that I was able to intercept these before Imperial Brother read them. If he knew you were writing to another man, he would have Lord Kim beheaded.”

You’re quiet, staring at the letters you wrote to Lord Kim asking after his health. The letters he never received. Too much was going through your mind. What about Ara?

“My father-”

“Your father has already agreed and I was able to have Imperial Brother gift a marriage to Lord Kim.”  Princess Min’s voice is pleasant, as if she's discussing the weather, “Your sister will be his bride.”

You stand abruptly from the table, your chair clattering to the floor behind you. You feel shaken and terrified. You knew something was off, but you were hoping, praying, you were wrong.

“Please excuse me, your majesty.” You step back from the table, your eyes slightly glassy, “I need to rest before tonight’s banquet.”

“Please, call me Ji-Soo…,” The princess smiles at you, her dark eyes are filled with what you now recognize as madness, the same look found in the emperor’s eyes when he looks at you, 

“..We’re family after all.”

-0-0-0-

When you arrive back at your courtyard, your mind is still struggling to comprehend what is happening. You rush past the servants and lock yourself in your room. You stare at the beautiful golden dress laid out on your bed, the diamonds twinkling as if mocking you. It wasn’t supposed to be this way. Ara is supposed to be empress.

You slide to the floor, your back against the door. This wasn’t supposed to happen. You stare at the dress, but your mind isn’t focused on it. You’re trying to think, trying to plan. What are you supposed to do? You don’t even entertain the thought that your father will save you. You have no choice. Emperor Min holds all the power. 

You don’t realize that hours have passed with you staring blankly at the dress until the servants knock on your door. “My lady, we are here to prepare you for the banquet.”

“I don’t need help to prepare. Please leave me.”

“My lady,” The voice of the maid is trembling, fearful, “The emperor insists.”

You swallow and stand, your legs shaky. You open the door and stare at the servants, they are terrified. Terrified of the emperor, terrified of his displeasure. You realize that you and them are not so different. No one has a choice. Everyone is subject to Emperor Min’s whims.

“Where is Ara?”

“She has already been prepared for the banquet.” Several servants rush in carrying a large washing tub filled with steaming water. The water is fragrant and several flowers are flowing on the surface. 

You watch a large dressing screen being set up around the tub, several of the servants bow low to you before quickly leaving the room. You look at them questioningly and an older maid steps forward, “Forgive us, my lady. We are under strict instructions and not allowed to help you undress or bathe.”

“What? Why?”

The maid licks her lips and hangs several white undergarments over the dressing screen, “The emperor made a new decree that it is a crime punishable by death for anyone other than the emperor himself to view the empress consort’s nude body.” 

It’s a jarring experience to be referred to as the empress consort. 

“It- it is not official.” 

You want to scream at them that this is wrong. That you’re not even betrothed, that this isn’t supposed to be you. 

They won’t meet your eyes. 

The jade bracelet on your wrist slides, warm beads against cool skin, and that’s when you realize all the mistakes you have made. You can’t stop the heavy weight you feel in your chest. You can feel your lips begin to tremble and your eyes feel watery. You don’t want to cry, but you know you should because you have the horrible feeling that once you are announced as the chosen empress consort at the banquet, the emperor will not let you out of his sight. 

The maid smooths over any imaginary wrinkles in the undergarments and gives you a pitying look, “Please get dressed in these once you are finished and we will prepare you for the banquet.” 

You’re left alone and you robotically remove your dress and undergarments. The water is hot and relaxing and it soothes your frazzled nerves. You lean your head back against the washing tub, you can hear the maids quietly talking behind the dressing screen. Your mind is racing. You are a smart girl. Your father has always praised your brilliance and forward thinking and lamented over you not being born a boy. You could figure this out. You could find a way out. 

There is obviously something seriously wrong with the Imperial siblings. The Princess herself confessed to murdering a love rival and the emperor has never shown any sign of this alleged sickness until now. Concubine Nam is carrying his child. You’ve already told Princess Min about your distaste of the harem. You refuse to have a husband that continues to keep a harem of concubines. 

But you know, you know, you could not refuse the emperor’s suit. You did not have any choice in the matter. While this is not the outcome that you nor Ara want, you know that your father will be pleased. All men want is power. They do not care for who they hurt or how they use their children like pawns. Your father will be the father-in-law of the emperor, his position and power will be secured.

The water is cold when you finally decide to step out of the washing tub. You resolve yourself to your future. Being the Empress Consort is not the worst fate you can have, but you were fearful of your sister’s reaction. She will hate you. 

You slowly put on your undergarments and step out from behind the screen. The maids eagerly rush you over to the large dressing table and sit you down. You stare at your worn reflection in the large, ornate mirror. 

Several maids kneel at your sides, dipping your fingers and toes in a dark paste. Other maids rub scented lotion onto your arms and legs. You watch through your reflection as the older maid rearranges your hair into an intricate updo, her skilled hands working effortlessly.

Your voice is a little hoarse when you speak, but you clear your throat and look at the older maid, “Will you be my personal servant?”

“Of course,” The maid gives you a warm smile, “His highness chose me personally to care for his bride.”

You give her a strained smile in return, neither of you mention the fact that the emperor chose servants that would be loyal to him. It wasn’t uncommon for a bride to bring a handful of trusted servants with them to their new home, but these aren’t normal circumstances. You would truly be alone here. “May I know your name?”

“Unso.”

“Unso.” You say the name carefully, “Please take good care of me.”

“My absolute pleasure.” She beams and gestures to your hair, the golden hairpin shining on top. The hairstyle is extravagant and more beautiful than any you have ever worn. The other maids clean the dark paste off your fingers and toes, revealing the nails to be stained a pretty red. Another servant brings a small jar of white cream and rubs it onto your face. You sit still as makeup is applied to your face. Your lips are painted a dark red and your eyes are lined with kohl. A small, delicate mugunghwa flower is painted in red and black between your eyebrows.

You stand and the maids help you dress in the beautiful golden dress. They take their time making sure everything is perfect. When you are fully dressed, the servants all stand back and stare at their hard work.

“Mistress is the most beautiful!”

“The Emperor has chosen well!”

“Her beauty is unparalleled!”

“An absolute vision!”

“His highness will be most pleased!”

The praises are interrupted by Eunuch Ki. He gives you a once over before nodding to Unso, “Excellent. Make sure everything is prepared as instructed.”

Unso nods her head and steps back.

“My lady,” Eunuch Ki bows low to you, “Please allow me to escort you to the banquet hall.”

You look around nervously, “But Ara-” 

“Your sister is already at the banquet.”

“I see.” You nod your head realizing you don’t have a choice, “I would be honored for Eunuch Ki to escort me.”

He gives you another low bow and turns to lead the way out of your rooms. Unso gives you an encouraging smile and you nod your head in return. Eunuch Ki leads you out of your courtyard to an extravagant imperial carriage. From the design and brilliance, you can tell that this is the emperor’s personal carriage. 

The ride to the grand banquet hall is quiet. You’re positive that you’re shaking in your seat. Eunuch Ki is watching you, but he doesn’t comment on your nerves. The carriage comes to a stop and the door is opened by an imperial guard. Eunuch Ki steps down first. You follow slowly behind him, all the servants and guards bowing in your presence. 

The long walk to the banquet hall seems to last seconds. You can feel sweat beading on your forehead and you are distractedly worried that all the servants' hard work on your face paint will come undone.  The closer you get to the hall, the louder the music and laughter from inside becomes. You can hear that it is a grand celebration and you worry for a moment that you are late. 

Eunuch Ki stops several feet away from the double doors. He gives you a sad smile and leans close to you, “An empress does not show fear. An empress does not show despair.”

You nod your head in understanding, straighten your back and hold your head high. You can feel your heart beating out of your chest; the expectations of the kingdom weighing on your shoulders. You can feel the sinking feeling in your stomach that Ara will never forgive you. You desperately hope she can understand. 

You do not have a choice. 

“Please open the doors.”

The large golden doors are heavy, requiring several servants to push them open. A loud chime is heard from the inside of the room. Eunuch Ki steps forward and announces your arrival, but you cannot hear him over the sound of the blood rushing through your ears. 

You step forward and you can feel all eyes are on you, but the only eyes you can focus on are the emperor’s. Dark, calculating, mad. He’s not dressed in his customary black, but gold. His ceremonial robes are a bright gold patterned with black mandarin ducks, matching yours. His long hair is unbound, a glittering crown is placed upon his brow. He is the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. 

The room is so quiet you can hear a pin drop. You take several slow steps into the room and make your way towards the emperor. Before you reach him, Princess Min steps forward, a handsome man you recognize as Prince Regent Jung Hoseok at her side. The couple is dressed in matching colors. Royal blue and patterned with silver bats. Princess Min leans close to you and kisses both your cheeks. She pauses to whisper a quiet, “Good Girl,” that only you can hear. Prince Regent Jung gives you a low bow.

You bow in return to the Princess and her betrothed. The room is still deathly quiet. When you finally reach the emperor, he stares at you as if you are the only thing he has ever wanted. You prepare to bow, but Emperor Min stops you, “From this moment forward, you bow to no one.”

You swallow and nod your head. Emperor Min continues staring at you, his eyes swirling with equal parts happiness and madness. Eunuch Ki steps forward holding a golden goblet. You stare at the goblet and then look at the emperor in horror. This isn’t right. You realize quickly that this is no ordinary celebration banquet. 

This is a wedding. 

You quickly look away, desperately searching for Ara. Slim fingers grip your chin tightly, you can feel the cold metal of his rings pressing into your skin. Your face is turned back to the Emperor.

“Who is the king?” His voice is quiet, but firm, “Who is the boss?”

You stare into his cold eyes. He knows he has you trapped and he knows there is nothing you can do. While you want to believe that you had reconciled yourself with your fate, you had truly hoped that you had more time to find a way out. But there is no way out.

After a few moments, you nod your head in understanding and open your mouth to accept a drink from the goblet. Emperor Min takes the goblet from Eunuch Ki and holds it to your lips. His smile is gentle, but his eyes are filled with triumph as you drink.

The rice wine is sweet but you barely taste it. You swallow a large gulp and lick your lips. The emperor’s eyes darken as he watches you and his smile widens. He gently places the goblet into your hands and you carefully hold it up to his lips. He takes several large gulps, but never breaks eye contact with you. 

Eunuch Ki grabs the goblet from you and before you know what is happening, you’re in the emperor’s embrace. One of his hands cup the back of your head as the other holds you tightly by the waist, “Finally, you’re mine.”

His kiss catches you off guard and you close your eyes involuntarily. You know that kissing is improper for a wedding ceremony and should only be done in private, but no one would dare question the emperor. His lips are soft and taste of the rice wine you just drank. When his tongue gently coaxes your lips open, you do not resist. Your fingers grip his shoulders and you cannot stop yourself from melting into him. 

When he finally releases you, you steady yourself against him. You’re in a daze as the emperor leads you to the royal table. You stand quietly at his side as he raises a glass of wine in a toast, “To my new bride, your new empress!”

The hall is filled with thunderous applause and cheering. Your moves are robotic as the emperor instructs you to sit next to him. He fills your plate with all your favorite delicacies and pours you a cup of tea. The musicians start playing music again and the murmur of conversations start up around you. You glance around the hall and realize that all the eligible young ladies that were prospective consorts are wearing matching dresses. Light blue and patterned with butterflies. The same dress that Ara was gifted.

You look around for Ara and you find her seated between your father and Lord Kim. Your father and Lord Kim seem to be in a serious conversation. Ara looks calm and composed, but her eyes betray her. You can see her unhappiness and your heart aches. 

“Beloved,” You’re jolted by the emperor’s deep, somber voice, “Don’t worry about your sister. She will be taken care of. Lord Kim will make her happy.”

It takes you a moment to respond, but you do so quietly, “My sister’s only happiness will always be with the emperor.”

The emperor glances in the direction of your sister and then turns back to you, his smile is sweet, “You are a good sister, but it’s time you put your happiness first.”

You’re puzzled, “My happiness?”

“Your happiness.” Emperor Min kisses your lips softly, “To be my bride. To be my queen. To be mine.”

You stare at him incredulously, and realize he truly believes that you are happy being his bride. He really thinks you wanted this and were only holding yourself back for Ara’s sake. Princess Min gives you a knowing smile from across the table. You sit in a daze as the night progresses. The emperor would let no other serve you, but himself, constantly refilling your plate and cup.

You can feel the angry glare of Concubine Nam on you from across the hall and when you finally meet her gaze, you're startled to realize that she’s also wearing the same light blue dress, patterned with silver butterflies, that Ara was gifted. In fact, all the concubines are dressed this way.

Concubine Nam’s face is fuller and glowing beautifully. Her soft, demure persona would be more believable if her eyes weren’t filled with hatred. You’re secretly pleased that her plan to trap the emperor has failed. If she was smart, she would try to gain favor with you, but instead she will most likely plot to poison you. You give her a small nod of acknowledgement and she sneers in return before turning away. 

The night drags on and you're exhausted from trying to keep a happy facade. You catch your shoulders drooping more often than not, and even feel yourself lean against the emperor a time or two. 

When it is finally time to receive congratulations from the representatives from the noble families, you stay quiet at the emperor’s side. You smile when needed and murmur thanks when prompted. Everything feels unreal.  

When your family steps forward, you try to catch Ara’s eyes. She nods her head at Princess Min and bows low to you, “Your highness, many happy wishes on your marriage. May the gods bless you with healthy sons.”

Her voice is cold and you can see the hatred in her eyes. You grab her hand, “Ara please, you must understand.”

“Understand that my sister is a liar?” Ara raises her voice and pulls away from you, “Understand that she is a snake who planned this?!”

“Ara, no.” Your voice cracks and you can feel tears brimming in your eyes, your exhaustion and stress finally catching up to you, “You are my most beloved sister. I would never-”

“And yet, here you are.” Ara’s voice is mocking, “Empress.”

The scene your sister is making draws the attention of your father and Emperor Min, who were in the middle of a quiet conversation near you. Even Princess Min is frowning from where she is seated, obviously hearing the raise of Ara’s voice. 

“Enough.” The emperor’s voice is cold as he glares furiously at Ara, “You dare to show disrespect to your empress?”

“She tricked you! Can’t you see she tricked you?!” Ara ignores the dangerous aura surrounding Emperor Min, “It was supposed to be me! I am supposed to be your queen. I love y-”

“Guards. Detain her. Disrespect to the empress is punishable by death.”

You can see the fear on Ara’s face, she backs away quickly, but the guards grab her. Your father looks alarmed and even Lord Kim looks fearful for your sister’s life. You look at the emperor and grip his arm tightly, “Please, please do not punish her. She doesn’t know what she’s saying.”

“She dared to disrespect you. She doesn’t deserve to live.”

“Please,” You beg him, you look at Ara’s fearful face and close your eyes in dismay, you know she will hate you even more after this. You firm your resolve and open your eyes, “She’s only a child.”

You press yourself against the emperor, “She’s harmless. She knows that what we have is real. She knows that you love me. She’s only jealous.”

The emperor’s eyes soften as he stares at you. “And you? Do you love me?”

You glance at your sister, an apology in your eyes, before wrapping your arms around Emperor Min, “I love you. Only you.”

He kisses you deeply and waves away the guards. Once he breaks the kiss, you feel yourself sag against him in relief as Ara is released and your father ushers her away. You can feel Lord Kim staring at you and when you finally meet his gaze, you're taken aback by the devastation in his eyes.

His eyes flicker between you and the emperor before he turns around and follows after your father. You stare after him but the emperor blocks your view. You look up and meet his eyes.

“Your eyes are only meant for me. No one else.”

You nod your head, but don’t say a word. Emperor Min continues to stare at you for a moment longer, before he presses a soft kiss to your forehead. 

“Eunuch Ki.” 

Eunuch Ki suddenly appears at the Emperor’s side ready and willing to do whatever is asked of him and gives a low bow, “Your majesty.”

“Take my bride to rest.”

“At once, your grace.” Eunuch Ki gestures for you to follow him and you do so without another word. Once the heavy golden doors close behind you, you finally let the tears fall from your eyes. You cry silently on the long carriage ride back to the other side of the palace. Eunuch Ki looks uncomfortable and like he wishes to offer words of comfort, but has no idea what to say. 

You go to rub your eyes with the sleeve of your dress, but Eunuch Ki stops you and hands you a soft cloth, “Forgive me your highness, but your dress must be preserved for the royal archives, you must not dirty it.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” You give a sad hiccup laugh and look out the carriage window. You realize quickly that you are not headed to the Mugunghwa Courtyard, but to the Emperor’s private courtyard. 

“I thought the Emperor wanted me to rest.”

Eunuch Ki gives you a look, but doesn’t respond. When the carriage rolls to a stop, Unso is there to help you down from the carriage. If she sees the distress on your face, she doesn’t comment on it. She gives you a low bow and leads you into the Emperor’s lair.

His private courtyard and rooms are enormous. Everything is draped in silks of black and gold. When you finally reach the Emperor’s private chambers, you’re astounded. His bedroom has the largest canopy bed you have ever seen, covered in a mountain of pillows. There is a large wooden desk in one corner of the room surrounded with several shelves filled with scrolls. There’s two separate golden resting sofas, each larger than you have ever seen and even a large dressing table with a mirror, obviously for a woman to use. There are also large double doors leading out to a small, private hot spring.

You watch Unso bustle around the room, preparing things and beckoning you over to the dressing table. “Your highness, let me help you remove your makeup.”

You sit quietly at the table and let Unso gently wash your face. You watch her put a special cream under your eyes to bring down the puffiness from your tears. She takes her time undoing your hair and leaving it unbound. You meet her eyes in the reflection of the mirror, “How many women has he bedded here?”

She looks puzzled at your question, “His majesty has never brought any woman here.”

“Concubine Nam?”

“Never.” Unso’s voice is resolute, “His majesty has never brought any woman, harem or no, here. These are his private chambers.”

“I see.” You don’t know if she’s lying to you, but if she is, you appreciate it. You feel slightly better knowing you are the only woman to ever sleep in his chambers.

Unso opens a chest and pulls out a black silk robe embroidered with red mugunghwa flowers and lays it over the top of the dressing screen in the corner of the room, “Your highness, you should remove your clothes and put this on. I’ll make you some tea and then you can lay down and rest.”

You slowly make your way behind the dressing screen and painstakingly remove your wedding dress. You leave it in a heap on the floor along with your undergarments. You know there is no point in wearing them and while you are nervous and a little scared, you know the consummation is inevitable. 

You put the silk robe on, and gently tie the sash around your waist. When you step around the dressing screen, Unso has already prepared the bed by removing many of the pillows and replacing the black silk sheets with a soft, white one. The white sheet shines ominously in the low light of the lanterns. 

“Your highness, have some tea to soothe your nerves.” Unso has brewed some fresh tea, but the scent is different than any you have had before. You sit stiffly on the edge of the newly made bed and take a small sip of tea. The taste is slightly bitter, but soon you feel yourself relaxing. 

“What type of tea is this?” You ask as Unso refills your cup and urges you to drink more.

She pats your head and gives you a warm smile, “Don’t worry. It was requested by his highness to help improve your health.”

You nod and don’t question her. You assume it’s similar to what the harem drinks to prevent pregnancy. The emperor is still young and with the drama that Concubine Nam has caused, you doubt children were on his mind. Before you know it, you’ve finished the entire pot. 

Unso helps tuck you in bed, and turns down all the lanterns. The only light in the room is that from the moonlight seeping in through the heavy curtains. You can barely keep your eyes open and the last thing you hear before you drift asleep is Unso’s quiet words, “Rest well, your majesty. You will need it.”

-0-0-0-

You’re awoken by a soft noise. You sit up and look around but don’t notice anything out of place. You’re still alone in the emperor’s bed. You see a faint glow under a previously unnoticed door in the far corner near his large desk. 

You get out of bed and make your way to the door. It opens soundlessly and a large staircase is revealed. You slowly make your way up the staircase, being careful not to make a sound. At the top of the staircase is a large room. It looks like an artist’s studio. Numerous canvases line the walls, charcoals and paints scattered over several large wooden tables stationed through the room. 

You see half finished portraits of Princess Min and a few of the previous emperors. You step into the room, careful not to disturb the artwork. There are some more paintings of several gardens and fountains that inhabit the palace grounds. In the corner of the room there is a beautiful hand carved desk, slightly smaller than the large tables, covered with more artwork. When you get closer you realize the paintings and sketches are all of you. You in the dress you wore the first night you arrived, you smiling in Princess Min’s private pavilion, you taking a walk in one of the private gardens, you asleep in your private rooms. Hundreds of paintings and drawings of you. 

You see another canvas underneath, it's slightly worn with frayed edges as if it’s been touched frequently. When you pull it out you see it's a painting of you, but this one you recognize. Two summers ago your father had you and your sister sit for a family portrait. The artist was impeccable and it was one of the most accurate paintings you had ever seen of yourself, it was almost like looking in the mirror. You see that the painting is torn, your sister and father removed from the portrait.

“You’ve found my sanctuary.”

You startle at the emperor’s voice and drop the canvas as if you’ve been burned. He’s standing at the entrance of the room, he’s no longer dressed in the golden robe, but now his signature black. It’s tied loosely, so the smooth pale skin of his chest is visible. His blond hair is loose and his crown is gone. 

“You’re quite the artist.” You gesture around the room, “but I notice there is no artwork of your concubines, of your beloved Concubine Nam.”

The emperor glances around, taking in his artwork as he steps further into the room, “Are you jealous of In-Suk?”

You frown at the use of her first name, but do not deny his accusation, “I do not like the thought of my husband bedding other women.”

“There are no other women.” Emperor Min slowly makes his way over to you, “You’re the only one that matters.”

You glance back at the desk littered with portraits of you, your eyes stopping on the torn family portrait, “How long have I been the only one that matters?”

He smiles, “Does it matter?”

“Yes.” You keep your voice calm and composed, “It matters to me.”

Emperor Min stands close to you, his fingers trailing over the artwork on the desk, “I had no interest in marriage. Lords and other noblemen constantly throwing their daughters at me. Your father is no different. Going on and on about Ara and how wonderful and virtuous she is.” He smiles wryly, “I finally got him to shut up by feigning interest.”

The emperor gently picks up the torn family portrait, “Imagine my surprise when he brings me this. A beautiful family portrait. I ask him about you and he immediately tells me about what a beautiful and doting older sister you are to Ara. How ever since your mother died, you have helped raise her. How you love her more than anything.”

He sets the portrait down and grabs your hands, gently turning you to face him, “I knew then that you would sacrifice everything for your beloved sister. I also knew that I needed to get you into the palace. Once you were here, you could not deny me.”

“But I was supposed to marry Lord-”

“Never say his name again.” Emperor’s Min’s voice is hard, leaving no room for discussion, “I am your husband. He is nothing.”

“Of course,” Your voice is quiet, you hesitate for a moment before you continue your questioning, “But… but Princess Min set up the consort selection. She told me she had to practically beg you to agree.”

“My beloved wife.” Emperor Min cups your face affectionately, his previous sour mood at the mention of Lord Kim completely gone, “You’re too trusting. She poisoned her companion, do you really think she would not lie to help her brother?”

“But Ara-”

“Ara will forgive you.” He presses a soft kiss against your lips, “Or she won’t. It does not matter.”

“But-”

“Is it really so bad being Empress?” Emperor Min presses another kiss to your lips, his fingers tangle in your unbound hair, “Being Mother to the country?”

“No-no, I am grateful to your majesty.” You shiver at his touch, grasping his shoulders as he presses himself against you.

“Yoongi.” He places more kisses down your lips and chin, “Call me Yoongi.”

“Yoongi!” You gasp when he softly bites your neck.

You feel him reach behind you and push everything off the large desk, the sound of canvases and painting supplies hitting the floor echoes throughout the room. Yoongi picks you up and sits you on the large desk, his lips never leaving your skin.

“You’re all I’ve ever wanted.” His mouth is muffled by the skin of your neck, his lips and tongue trail lower. You feel hot all over and cannot help but shiver when his hand yanks the collar of your robe down your shoulder. “My beautiful queen.”

Your fingers clutch at the silk fabric of his robe, holding him closer to you. You don’t stop him when he undoes your robe, his hot fingers trailing down the skin of your abdomen. “Beloved, will you show me?”

You wordlessly lean back, letting the open robe slip down your arms, baring your nude body to his view. His eyes are burning as he drinks you in. “Absolutely Exquisite.”

Yoongi leans over you, pressing himself between your thighs, and kisses you deeply. His tongue licks into your mouth with desperation. His hands are shaking as he grips your hips, and you quickly free yourself from the sleeves of your robe.

He breaks the kiss to trail his mouth down your neck and chest, his hot tongue swirls around your exposed breast before suckling the nipple. You can’t stop your moan, your whole body jerks at the feeling. “Y-Yoongi!”

“Say it again.” Yoongi’s voice is filled with desperation as he kisses down your ribs, “Say my name again.”

“Yoongi.” You whisper and your stomach clenches when he kisses lower, his wet tongue trailing over your abdomen. You’re so aroused, you can feel your wetness coating your thighs, but you can’t bring yourself to be embarrassed. 

“I have never seen a more beautiful woman.” Yoongi presses a soft kiss below your belly button, “The country has never had a more beautiful empress.”

“Your highness flatters me.”

“No.” Yoongi’s firm voice startles you and when you meet his eyes, they are burning with madness, “This emperor loves you. Only you.”

You shiver at the look in his eyes and nod your head in return, “Yes. Of course.”

Yoongi presses another kiss to your abdomen, his large hands gripping your thighs as he stares at you, “Will you deny your king?”

“Never.”

The smile he gives you is equal parts beautiful and dangerous, his dark, dark eyes overflowing with adoration for you, “Good girl.”

Your breath catches when he spreads your thighs apart and leans forward, his mouth inches away from your wet, pulsing cunt. “I wonder if you taste as succulent as you smell.”

You feel your pussy throb at his words and you lean your head back against the desk, your eyes closing in anticipation. You find his crude words more arousing than you ever thought possible. Your heart is beating so fast and you can feel sweat beading on your forehead. While you have never been intimate with a man, you were no stranger to self pleasure. You just never imagined your first experience with a man would be the emperor of the entire nation between your thighs, waiting to pleasure you. The heady rush of excitement is making you dizzy.

You tense when Yoongi presses the flat of his tongue against your juicy pussy. His tongue is hot as it licks a slow stripe up to your clit and you both release a throaty groan when he sucks your clit into his mouth.

You don’t realize you’re holding your breath until you get light headed from lack of oxygen. You're shivering all over and you feel a tight pressure in your stomach. Your entire body is tuned to Yoongi’s mouth, every lick and suck of his tongue has you soaring. 

“Better.” He whispers between licks of your swollen clit, his fingers shaking as he holds your thighs apart, “You taste so much better than anything I’ve ever had before.” 

You press your hand into your mouth to bite down on, trying to muffle your moans. Your other hand scrambles for something to hold onto before tangling in his long, soft hair. 

You press your heel into his back, but if Yoongi is bothered, he does not show it. He’s completely focused on devouring you. You bite your hand hard to cover your squeal when his hot fingers gently probe your cunt. He reaches up to pull your hand out of your mouth, his fingers gently stroking your wrist around the jade bracelet, “Do not dare hide your pleasure from me.”

He places your hand on his head, near your other hand already grasping his hair, and encourages you to use him as you please. A long, thick finger slips inside you and you cannot stop yourself from clamping down, your hips automatically rolling up into his face. 

“That’s it, my beautiful girl,” Yoongi continues to flick your clit with his tongue, “Ride my face.”

Your fingers grasp his head, holding his mouth against your aching cunt. You’re throbbing and dripping and you know you are going to come soon. You can feel the release building deep inside you. Yoongi presses another finger into your dripping hole and you can feel yourself trembling. He’s completely focused on you and your pleasure, his mouth working nonstop to help you reach your peak. 

You sit up slightly and meet his dark gaze, his eyes are brimming with satisfaction. You grip his hair hard and press his face against your dripping cunt. You’re so close you’re practically vibrating with pleasure. 

He twists his fingers and you're coming. You release a soundless gasp and can’t stop yourself from gushing all over his fingers. Yoongi moans at the taste of you, his mouth eagerly trying to swallow every drop of your release. You collapse on the desk, your orgasm still thrumming through your body. 

You barely catch your breath when he’s hovering over you, your release glistening on his lips and chin. He kisses you deeply, making sure you can taste yourself on his tongue. You can feel his body trembling as he undoes his robe and you cannot figure out if he’s nervous or excited, or a combination of both.

He breaks the kiss to look at you and your stomach flutters at his gaze, so full of yearning and affection, you’re no longer sure why you ever thought about denying him. You hadn't even realized something was missing from your life, he was missing from your life, until this moment. You weren't just doing this out of a sense of duty. Because you were his wife. Because he was your husband. You wanted this. Desperately. More than you’d wanted anything up until this moment. 

Full of your realization, you push his robe off his shoulders and spread your legs wider, allowing him to press himself completely against you. He’s hot and hard, pulsing between your thighs. You shiver at the feel of him, your sticky cunt still dripping from your orgasm. You look at him, his cheeks flushed pink, his forehead and chest slightly sweaty, his hair a tangled mess. His scar looks less intimidating in the low light of the lanterns.

“You love me?” You don’t realize you have said the words out loud until he stares at you, his dark, dark eyes burning.

“More than anything.” 

It’s intoxicating knowing you have this beautiful man confessing his love to you. He is the most powerful man in the entire world and he loves you more than anything. You can’t help the ugly feelings of jealousy bubbling in your stomach, knowing other women have seen him undone like this. Knowing that Concubine Nam has had him like this is unacceptable. 

“I want them gone.” You shift forward slightly, the head of his thick cock catching on your entrance. You feel so hot between your legs, your cunt aching to be spread open by him. 

“Who?” He sounds confused, distracted. His whole body is trembling, holding himself back from thrusting up into you.

“Your whores.” You roll your hips and feel him sink a few inches inside you, you hold your breath and try not to tense up at the intrusion. “I will not have a husband that has a harem. I want them all gone, especially that bitch Nam. I can’t stand the thought of anyone else seeing you like this.”

“Yes,” You feel more than hear him gasp, his forehead pressing against your shoulder, “Anything you want.

“You’re mine.” 

Your whispered declaration causes something inside of him to snap. You’re unprepared when he pushes completely inside of you. The burning stretch of his thick, heavy cock leaves your breathless. He groans into your chest, barely giving you a moment to adjust before he’s thrusting in and out. Every roll of his hips has you clenching around him. His lips press soft kisses into your skin between pants of yesyesyes and all yours. You’re soaked and shaking, your fingers clutch his shoulders, trying to anchor him against you. He’s so thick and so large, you swear you can feel him in your stomach.

“My Empress, My Goddess,” Yoongi whispers reverently into your skin, “I will give you everything.”

“Yes,” You press yourself closer to him, ignoring the feel of his ringed fingers bruising your hips, “All I want is you.”

Every thrust of his hips brings you closer to the edge. You’re quivering around him, so close you can almost taste it. You shudder when he releases your hip, his fingers gently rubbing your swollen clit, causing you to pulse around him. “That’s it, my beloved girl. Come for me.”

Yoongi softly pinches your clit and you explode. His tongue licks up your throat, his mouth swallowing your quiet cries of pleasure. You clench down and feel him gasp against you, his body shuddering uncontrollably. The pulse of his cock inside you floods you with warmth.

You close your eyes and hold him against you, trying to catch your breath. Your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest. You slowly run your fingers through his hair and smile when you realize he’s still buried inside you.

He sits up and stares at you. You can see your reflection in his dark eyes. Your hair is disheveled and your lips are swollen. You can see your eyes are hazy with pleasure and several love bites adorn your neck and shoulders.

“My beloved bride.” Yoongi smiles at you affectionately, his fingers gently brush your hair back from your sweaty forehead, “I will never let you go.”

-0-0-0-

When you awaken you’re alone in the emperor’s bed, his side is cool, as if he’s been gone for hours. You’re sore all over, your husband spent most of the night inside of you, making you come over and over again until the early morning light.

You wrap the wrinkled white sheet around you and stand on shaky legs. You slowly make your way to the door and call for Unso. She appears immediately, almost as if she was waiting for you.

She helps you sit at the dressing table and goes about opening the curtains. Based on the sunlight entering the room, you can tell it is already early afternoon. Several maids clear the used bedding from the bed, and replace the sheets with clean silk ones. 

“Where is the emperor?” 

“His majesty wanted his bride to get enough rest, he would not let anyone disturb your highness.” Unso ignores your question and pulls a black dress patterned with golden dragons from the wardrobe. She hangs it over the silk dressing screen along with several undergarments.

You watch her through the mirror as she orders servants to prepare bath water for you. You can tell that something is amiss by the way Unso will not meet your eyes and the maids scurry about as if they are terrified of you.

“Your highness,” A younger maid bows low and holds out a fresh cup of tea, “your tea?”

You take the cup from the trembling maid, it’s the same bitter tea from the night before. You take a small sip, “Unso, where is my husband?”

“Your majesty, you must drink your tea, it is good for your health.” Unso comes out from behind the dressing screen, “Come take your bath, it will soothe your sore muscles.”

“No,” You set the mostly full cup of tea on the dressing table and stand up, “Bring me my robe.”

“Your majesty, you cannot go out in only your robe!” Unso’s voice is shocked. “It is improper!”

“Fine,” You make your way behind the dressing screen and put on your undergarments, “You will help me dress and then you will take me to my husband.”

Unso and several maids help you put on the stunning black dress. You’re ushered to the dressing table where you are adorned in diamond jewelry. Unso styles your hair with a jeweled dragon hairpin. Lotions and creams are rubbed into your face, neck and arms. 

Once you are deemed presentable, you follow Unso and several servant girls to the throne room. When you reach the large doors, Eunuch Ki looks alarmed to see you and quickly bows low, “Y-your highness! What are you doing here?”

 “Eunuch Ki,” You nod your head in greeting, “I came to see my husband.”

“I see,” Eunuch Ki shares an undecipherable look with Unso, “His majesty is conducting important business, he has asked me to inform you that he will join you in his rooms later for the evening meal.”

“Open the doors.”

“Please your majesty, you need to rest.” Eunuch Ki tries to placate you, “Let me take you back to the emperor’s courtyard or even to see Princess Min.”

“Open the doors. Now.”

Eunuch Ki looks helplessly at Unso before nodding his head. The guards slowly push the heavy doors open.

The smell is the first thing that hits you. The thick coppery scent of blood. You slowly step into the room and gasp in horror. The floors and walls are covered in blood. It looks like an entire massacre took place here. You walk further into the room and ignore the way the blood soaks into your silk slippers, seeping between your toes.

Eunuch Ki follows quietly behind you. There are several servants scrubbing the floors and walls, trying to remove the pools of blood around the room. You ignore them all, your eyes are completely focused on the emperor. He’s staring at a small golden box in his hand. A bloody sword rests near his feet. 

“Yoongi.” You whisper the words quietly, but his head snaps up immediately, his eyes focusing on you. 

“Beloved.” His eyes light up when he sees you, a beautiful smile spreading across his face. He rushes eagerly towards you. You realize he’s wearing a black robe, patterned with golden dragons, the same design as your dress. The only difference is his robe is stained with fresh blood. His hair is pulled up into a topknot, his black headband in place. Small drops of blood stain his cheeks and neck. He presses the golden box into Eunuch Ki’s hands before cupping your face, his fingers still wet with blood.

“My beautiful bride,” His voice is light, happy, “everything is perfect now that you are here.”

“Perfect?” You whisper and let him take your hands, leading you towards his throne. The golden dragon throne looks intimidating in the blood soaked room. The closer you get to the throne, the stronger the scent of blood becomes. You feel light headed, your stomach churning at the smells permeating the air.

“I.. I need to sit down.”

Yoongi looks at you concerned and immediately has you sit on his throne, “Are you alright, my love? Do you need some tea?”

“No,” You sit quietly. You feel sick, you feel sweaty, you can barely catch your breath, “I just need a moment.”

You close your eyes trying to center yourself. You know something terrible happened here, there is so much blood it looks like a battlefield. You're grateful that the bodies have already been removed, you don't know how you would have handled a room full of corpses. You take a few deep breaths and open your eyes, meeting Yoongi's bright gaze.  

“I have a gift for you.” Yoongi takes the golden box from Eunuch Ki, “I wanted to surprise you with it this evening, but you are here now. My beautiful girl.”

You stare at the golden box stained with blood. You take it from Yoongi with trembling hands. Yoongi is vibrating with excitement next to you. You can feel the pressure behind your eyes signaling that you are about to cry. You blink repeatedly, holding back your tears.  

You slowly open the box and stare at the contents. Yoongi holds your hands around the golden box, making sure you can’t drop it. You swallow the scream bubbling in your throat and meet his eyes. Dark, crazed, unhinged eyes overflowing with love for you. Love and madness.

You look back at your gift. Dead, lifeless eyes stare back at you. Concubine Nam’s eyes. Yoongi kneels obediently at your feet, soaking his robe in more blood. Blood from Concubine Nam. Blood from the rest of the harem. 

You can’t stop the tears from dripping down your cheeks. 

“They are all gone. Just like you asked.” Yoongi stares at you with reverence, his eyes sparkling, “I told you I would do anything for you.”

[fairestwriting]

Sorry for adding onto your (most likely) already busy pile but is it alright if I put in a request?

I was wondering how/what Leona, Azul, Riddle, and the Leech brothers (all separately) would act/do if they have a crush on a hopeless romantic female reader? (Maybe how they’ll try to “woo” them/get them together?) Emphasis on crush, they’re not together yet 😅

In my opinion hopeless romantics are not so much about the perfect dream lover (chivalrous, gentlemanly, etc), but more about finding “the one” that we’re meant to dedicate all our time to. Sure, we do find ourselves more attracted to guys that’ll fit the description of our “perfect”, but generally we’re able to accept just about anyone, so long as they show their sincerity. It doesn’t have to be anything big, it’s the feelings behind them that counts. Small gestures with undeniable feelings behind them are weighed much more heavily than big gestures with little thoughts behind them. Not my words but I feel like this sentence describes it perfectly “Hopeless Romantics are in love with love”. No, they don’t have to sing me poems and proses, gift me flowers at every meeting, or serenade me under the balcony. Though I’ll admit that I had written pages upon pages of love poems on a single crush We are obsessed with the idea of finding someone made just for us, for us to love and be loved in return.

Just me turning to fictional characters to cope with the harsh reality... we really aren’t made for modern society 😔

+ if you like my writing, you can buy me a ko-fi to support me!

Leona Kingscholar

For a while now, Leona really did think he found hopeless romantics stupid. He just doesn’t get why someone would put so much importance in something as vague and fleeting as romantic love.

Then he ends up falling for you.

Needless to say, his crush is something that constantly taunts him. He really feels so confused around you, as if he shouldn’t like you as much as he does. He never thought someone like you would catch his attention, you just seem so... soft, sometimes. Leona is usually straightforward about his interest in people, but when it comes to you, he doesn’t really know how to go about it.

He knows you’re not somebody who would be swayed through his meaningless teasing, that you’re the sort of person who wanted devotion. And it isn’t like he doesn’t want that with you -- Though, he’d rather die than admit this right now -- but he doesn’t know how to express it.

He still wants to show his interest, but for you, he does it differently. He flirts more subtly, teasing you less, and when you’re alone, he almost acts sweet, way easier to fluster. When you’re sweet to him back, he feels so stupidly warm and fuzzy and he loves it hates it.

Falling for a hopeless romantic definitely is the way to break Leona. It might be the only way to catch him off guard romantically, even.

Azul Ashengrotto

Similar to Leona, Azul kind of looks down on the concept of love, but for a slightly different reason. For him, it’s that he doesn’t like being vulnerable, so letting himself have this level of closeness with someone feels just... too troublesome. The chance he’d be hurt is just too much.

So he didn’t do anything about his crush on you, at first, he was trying to just wait it out like he usually does. Then, he hears your opinions and expectations with love, and things change a bit inside his head.

He’ll always be uneasy trying to make moves on people regarding that, but knowing you were so... sincere, it made him feel like trying might be worth it, this time. Ironically, what a dubious guy like him wants is someone genuine, who he didn’t feel the need to play all these games with.

He gets a little bolder with you. Inviting you to Mostro Lounge often, letting you try new recipes that still weren’t in the menu, sometimes taking you out, even buying you small gifts of things you seemed to like. He wants to show you that you’re special to him, while still keeping some subtlelty.

Riddle Rosehearts

Oh, so you’re the same!

Riddle never talks about it, but everytime he thinks about love, it’s in a similar way to you. He wants to find someone who would be his one and only, a girl who would love him just as much as he loved her. He’s endlessly embarrassed by this, sort of convinced that his expectations are just too unrealistic, but he can’t help but dream.

When you two launch into a rare conversation about relationships and he finds out you agree with him... man, if he already had a thing for you before, now he was just smitten.

Sadly Riddle is very awkward when it comes to romance. He feels like you two would make such a good couple together, he’d be the best boyfriend he possibly could be! But he gets shy when it comes to expressing his feelings, and in the end, all he can do is hope you catch on to what it means when he’s trying to spend time with you often...

He shows his affections mostly by... sort of mundane things, like inviting you to the Unbirthday Party and asking you to sit next to him, or offering to help you study, or inviting you over for tea when you have free time, being sure to remember you favorite drink and desserts... if you’re also oblivious, it might be hard to know he likes you. 

He’ll be working hard on a confession plan, though, if you two want the same thing, then he’s more willing than ever to risk it all for a romantic relationship.

Jade Leech

As he starts understanding his own feelings for you, he starts trying to gauge information about your preferences so he could plan how he’d woo you, and that’s how he finds out you’re a hopeless romantic.

He thinks it’s so endearing, honestly. Jade loves to spoil, he wants nothing more than to be the one to give you all this love you crave. He thinks often about how well he’d care for you.

He makes sure to be sort of obvious about his crush, wanting to get his feelings across more than he usually would. Jade is always there for you, happy to help and advise, he’s an acts of service kind of guy so it’s mostly how he’d try to express the fact that he loves you.

It takes a while to get an actual confession out of him though. He knows you have high expectations and has sworn he’d meet all of them. Even if you’ve told him you didn’t put that much weight on grand gestures, he did want to make his confession something impressive, if only subjectively. He wants to make sure everything is meaningful, and shows through how much attention he’d been paying to you for a while now.

“Hopeless romantic” might be part of his type, honestly, Jade is a guy who lives for this mutual devotion you strive for.

Floyd Leech

A hopeless romantic and Floyd would be... a complicated pair. 

Floyd is very casual about love, you see. The second he knows he’s fallen for you is the second he decides you’re his, and he’s yours, and that’s it. He’s casual with his affection and doesn’t mind things like relationship labels at all, he doesn’t even see the need for an actual confession, really.

So he’ll be so affectionate with you, he’s constantly showering you in love. But... he’s so casual about it, his feelings might not get through completely to you. You might not realize he’s crushing on you at all, because of how chummy he acts with everybody else.

It’s a strange situation, because you’ll be talking about how wonderful you think it’d be if you found your one and only, and Floyd will be right there wondering why you’re saying things like that when he’s right here, he’s your one and only, right? Are you telling him you just haven’t noticed that he loves you?

He’s confused when you talk about love, if you were all about sincere gestures why aren’t you catching on to his feelings? He’ll actually blurt that out one time, probably. Floyd isn’t one to keep quiet about his crushes for too long.

Once you understand where he’s coming from with all the affection, he might actually be a good partner for you. He loves you so, so, so much, and it shows! Just in, you know, kinda odd ways sometimes.

[thewillowbends]

I keep seeing this argument that Deckerstar is a bad pairing. It really wasn't. It was, in fact, extremely organically done up through the Fox era. Understand that it's not that Chloe and Lucifer's relationship wasn't developed past S2. It develops through S3 just fine. A key part of the narrative is that they're regressing and sabotaging themselves precisely because Lucifer isn't taking his own advice to his mother that they can only move forward not back. Deckerstar stagnates and starts to crumble in S3 because they won't let it move forward, and Lucifer realizes he has to take the leap at the end and tell her the truth so they can move forward together. So through S1-3, Deckerstar is fine. Well developed, even.

The Netflix era is where it all goes to shit, and it does for two major reasons, which I go into below the cut:

1.) Misogyny. I cannot stress how ridiculously sexist the Netflix era is. Joe and Ildy hate women. They don't realize they hate women, but they do. It infiltrates every part of the Netflix era narrative.

Up until S4, Chloe is the straight man to Lucifer's more manic behavior, but she is NOT a flat character by any means. Her acting and characterization is more subtle, but it is very complex. In fact, we know more about details about her character's backstory than we do his since the show never bothered to touch what actually happened with the rebellion. I'm not joking when I say I used to recommend this series precisely because of the female characters: not only were they well done, but they weren't young, sexy twenty-somethings. They were mature women in their thirties with lots of baggage and emotional complexity.

From S4 onward, the dive in the quality of the female characters is staggering. Linda becomes a mother and that's all she wrote, y'all. It subsumes the majority of her character's plot purpose. The therapy scenes dive in quality along with it. She goes from being one of the most interesting side characters to just...a terrible friend and therapist who serves little real plot purpose. (For that matter, TWO women get pregnant in the Netflix era, and not a single fucking moment is spent with them thinking over the choice to have this baby or how it would impact their lives, even though these are both women in their forties with difficult life situations that would make babies extremely inconvenient. It's just automatic that they want them because lol women made 4 making baby, right? Yet the two father have entire episodes dedicated to their fears and anxieties over it. Unbelievable.)

Ella was always boring and fairly flat (which is fine - she's a side character, they're supposed to be less developed!), but she finally got interesting in S5A only to be given an extremely gross storyline where her love of bad boys accidentally leads her date to a serial killer, where we then get to watch her internalize that guilt and horror in S5B instead of grappling with it meaningfully. S6's solution to this is to let her meet the man she "needs" to treat her right. Also gross. (At least she got to grapple with it somewhat, I guess. You know who also dated and was manipulated by a serial killer but never got any of her pathos over it examined? THE LEAD FUCKING FEMALE CHARACTER.)

Maze is just....completely fucking off the rails. Her character is abrasive and abusive but never has any meaningful repercussions for any of it but is then framed as badass and assertive. Punching people doesn't make her a strong woman. She's just a violent asshole who expecting everybody to serve her emotional needs while overlooking theirs.

Goddess goes from having one of the most complex, fascinating, and moving antagonist arcs in the whole series in S2 to showing up in S5B just so she can take her abusive husband back. In other circumstances, this would be fine because they're gods and human rules, power dynamics, and morals don't need to apply, but compounded with all of the other misogyny around it, it's awful.

Eve is...holy shit. I cannot even begin to start with how clearly she was only ever designed to be a Deckerstar cockblock who shoves Chloe out of the colead role so they don't have to develop her. She's great in S4 right up until they no longer need her, and than she just goes completely off the rails. They literally make her the crazy, hysterical ex girlfriend wrecking Lucifer's life. When she showed up in 5B, I nearly had a fucking aneurysm, y'all. Imagine having such a great character and completely fucking wasting her the way they did. Moreover, imagine sticking her in an f/f pairing that had so much incredible potential to be interesting but which was just thrown together because lmao, bisexual people just be like that, right? Our love lives don't require development or complexity. (Or sex! Because you can bet that once these women are in romantic, loving, monogamous relationships, their sexual desires barely exist. It's all tepid kisses and sultry jokes but passion goes out the door, apparently. Bis and gays can marry, y'all, but we apparently can't fuck. Oh, and we definitely got to Hell at the end of the day, too!)

Oh, but I can imagine wasting her because the most wasted female character of them is Chloe Decker, the literal fucking colead. What goes wrong in the Netflix era is a lengthy list of issues, but perhaps the biggest one I see people skimming over is that they never bothered to give their female colead an actual character arc. After S3, Chloe stops being a person. She's just a thing to move around on the chess board for Lucifer's character. Her character background is routinely gutted to serve the plots of other characters, particularly male characters, usually in the pursuit of ANGST. We spent three seasons watching Chloe deal with things in a fairly logical, rational manner, even when she was scared or didn't understand things. In S4, we toss that all away because having Chloe turn into a hysterical women who runs off to another fucking continent so we can have some dumb betrayal plot that splits Deckerstar apart AGAIN for an entire season and so we can shove Chloe's storyline aside so they don't have to tackle the miracle reveal. S5A manages to be a brief, shining moment where my bad bitch S1 Chloe returns, but then right back into S5B we're shoving her into a passive role where she exists to be sad about Lucifer and....nothing fucking else. S6 is...I cannot even begin fam. They gut her character's history of having her father literally murdered and her daughter kidnapped by a corrupt cop so they can prop up Amenadiel's story by making her the stupid white woman who doesn't understand racism and thinks the system is perfect.

SHE WAS MARRIED TO A LATINO MESTIZO MAN. HER DAUGHTER IS A MESTIZO LATINA GIRL. IN WHAT FUCKING REALITY WOULD SHE NOT KNOW WHAT RACISM IS? SHE LITERALLY HELPED LUCIFER AND AMENADIEL IN TWO DIFFERENT SEASONS GET A YOUNG BLACK MAN OFF UNFAIR CHARGES. IN WHAT REALITY DID CHLOE DECKER EVER FUCKING THINK THE SYSTEM WASN'T FLAWED? SHE'S LITERALLY A VICTIM OF POLICE CORRUPTION. JESUS CHRIST. IT MAKES ME SO ANGRY.

And then there's...God, so much else in S6 that's just jaw droppingly sexist, the kind that's almost shocking on television in the year 2021. She can't have the piece of the blade because power makes her going fucking insane, apparently. She finds out she's going to be a mother in episode 5 but literally doesn't bother checking that she's pregnant until four episodes later??? Her daughter from her previous marriage stops mattering as much as the one she has with Lucifer?? What?? She suffers through six seasons of obstacle to be with Lucifer, gets a whole six months with him, and then she spends the rest of her human life alone, raising two children by herself, having to lie and traumatize her children to maintain some stupid goddamn time loop. (How insulting to stay at home and single parents to act as though the work they do every day isn't extremely difficult, time consuming, and draining.)

No big deal, though, guys, because life is just a blip you see! The writers told us so! (We won't get into how grossly evangelist that thinking is, not to mention thematically contradictory - if life is a blip, why the fuck is it determining human eternity?? Why does fixing racism or other damaged human systems matter??) Because women literally exist just to suffer for the men to do what they need to in this story, apparently. Their feelings and desires don't matter. Chloe watches her daughter fade away in 6x10 telling Lucifer to abandon her and apparently has not one word to say edgewise. It's all good!

One final note on the miracle reveal...let this go down as the single most outrageously wasted thing I've ever seen introduced in a show. You literally have a character who is a gift from God, and that's what you come up with? Literally, thousands of options to play around with why she was put there, abilities and purpose that could have linked her arc to Lucifer's to develop alongside his to prop up the narrative...and they blew it. They had THREE SEASONS to come up with something interesting, and they just don't. It's just mindblowing to me. I cannot imagine being that incompetent as a writer.

But conclusion: they didn't view Chloe as a person the way they did Lucifer. They didn't see her story as valuable as his, so they never bothered creating an arc. The problem is that she is the COLEAD OF THE NARRATIVE and a huge part of Lucifer's life, so by crashing her narrative, they also crashed his, because the two are intertwined.

2.) The writers saw Deckerstar not as key part of the narrative that drove Lucifer's character development and propped up a key part of the found family theme but as a way to consistently frustrate the audience and keep them engaged by constantly keeping them waiting for the payoff that never came.

Think of all the great moments Lucifer and Chloe have with other partners that they never have with each other. Think of all the great couples moments that get handed over to other, less important couples in the show.

Eve gets the devil face kiss with Lucifer. Chloe never gets anything like this with him.

Marcus gets Chloe's an emotional confession about the pain of her father's death. She never even gets to discuss this with Lucifer after.

Eve (and lots of other men and women) gets to have fun, kinky sex with Lucifer. Chloe has passionate, public sex with Pierce. Lucifer and Chloe never do either of these things together. They're the lead couple, and they get a whole two barely PG-13 sex scenes, one of which canonically leads to pregnancy.

Eve and Maze get a big wedding scene. Amenadiel gets to commute and be with his family and see them grow. Lucifer and Chloe get neither of these things.

Trixie gets to talk about her mother being happy with Pierce in S3. She has a big, powerful family moment with Lucifer and Eve in S4. In S5B, Lucifer doesn't hold Trixie and Chloe in their moment of grief over Dan's death, while other characters openly embrace in the background. Instead, Deckerstar has two fights across two episodes instead of finding comfort with each other. In fact, all of the great little family moments we expected with TRIXIE after S5? Went to Rory instead. Trixie gets tossed to the side.

Rory's sole purpose in the narrative, just like Eve, is to split Deckerstar up.

The thing that should kill you is that they did this on purpose. They told us they did. Joe openly said they wanted to frustrate fans. They basically damaged their own story and found family narrative, stripping away all the emotional intimacy from S5B and S6 that would have propped up the underlying themes in order to make fans want more by giving them nothing. For six seasons, we waited to see Deckerstar get together and be happy together...and we couldn't even have that. They never get a fucking break. Amenadiel gets handed the story and rewards of a narrative that Lucifer did all the work to receive. In the end, Deckerstar literally exists just to generate angst. We were asked to invest and then never got paid the dividend of that investment.

tl;dr it's not that Deckerstar is a bad pairing. It's that the writers actively sabotaged it by being sexist idiots with no respect for their lead characters' narrative. They went for the laziest, most superficial route possible to drum up drama and pretend it was deep. Great job, guys! You gave D&D a run for their money for fucking up the landing, that's for sure.

[shinidamachu]

yo asking someone to make a wish so half of their heritage is gone forever is fridge horror-level wtfness (thnx TV Tropes).

of course RT and Sunrise chose not to focus on it, and in mythology people do give up divinity or humanity for romantic reasons, but specifically in Inuyasha it was like ‘despite your demon half you can still live a good life’ as if he has some disease 🤨

like I get in history people have had to hide their heritage to survive war and avoid being shipped off to their death or lose their rights, but to ask someone to permanently discard half their heritage and presumably hide their origins until death is tragic as fuuuuuuuuuuu

It's not even that they chose not to focus on it, is that they deliberately portrayed it as this grand romantic gesture from Inuyasha’s part and for a part of the audience, it truly was. But then again, this backfired for people like me, because it only served to proof how desperate Inuyasha really was to fit in.

Poor guy was literally planning on using the jewel to become a full demon just the day before. Then, at Kikyo’s request, he agreed on doing the exact opposite with little to no deliberation other than “what will be made of you, Kikyo?” I can only assume he was afraid her feelings were conditional. That if he had said no, she would have called it quits.

Imagine the same situation, but this time Inuyasha has a support system to lean on. Prejudice against half demons are still a thing, however he has his parents, his friends, a place to belong. Would he still have said yes in order to live with Kikyo? I honestly doubt it.

You see, Inuyasha hates being human. Not in the sense of saying he hates it, but liking it in secret. He actively hates it. And I can’t stress enough that we don’t actually understand how rightfully entitled he is to hate it.

We know how a human body feels like, we’re used to have a human body. Inuyasha is only human once a month. The majority of time he is a half demon. That’s what he is used to. Even worse: put yourself in his shoes. If you were to lose half your strength, half your sight, half your hearing and speed every single New Moon, you'd curse that night too. 

Not to mention the sheer vulnerability of being emotionally and physically exposed, of not being able to protect yourself or the ones you care about and becoming a "burden” when he takes pride of being the (un)official guardian of the group. No wonder he felt so hopeless he made a point out of staying up all night. And this is what Kikyo was asking him to feel like every single day for the rest of his existence so their life together could be easier, with the aditional quicker of forever losing the features that marked him as his father’s son. You know, the man who died saving him and his mother.

Every single character that got close enough to find out about his night of weakness quickly became aware of how much he despises it. Now, we don’t know the exact duration of Inuyasha and Kikyo’s relationship, but here are our options: Kikyo didn’t know about the New Moon and that Inuyasha hated turning into human or she did know and decided to go for it anyway.

Considering that the latter option is straight up awful, I’ll just assume she simply didn’t know. What does this say about their relationship? If they were an item for a considerable period of time, how come she didn’t know about such a fundamental thing about him? Especially when people who weren’t even his love interest were aware of that fact pretty early on? What was it worth all that time together if they didn’t use it to have meaningful interactions and get to know one another? If Inuyasha was keeping secrets from her and if she wasn’t interested in learning them?

On the other hand, if their relationship was indeed short lived, that could justify the lack of knowledge, but a different issue raises: if they didn’t have time to collect basic information about each other, how am I supposed to believe in their love? How am I supposed to view the decision to erase his demonic side and live together as anything other than reckless, impulsive and thoughtless? How am I not supposed to see it as mutual convenience, a mean to an end? How am I not supposed to think they are acting out of lonileness and desire to fit in? How am I not supposed to think that if literally anyone else had given them the same options they would have taken it? 

A New Moon would have happened in at least one month, tops. That’s not love. That’s a thirty days affair. It could have grown into love, if given the chance, but the pairing seemed more interested in the life they ideolized for themselves than in each other.

I don’t think Kikyo meant it as an ultimatum or that she was disgusted by his demonic attributes. She wouldn’t have approached or kissed him as a half demon otherwise. But I think it’s hard to deny that she wasn’t necessarily fond of them either, since she jumped at the opportunity to get rid of them first chance she got, with no remorse whatsoever. As if it was a bonus. This allowed with the fact that the prejudice against half demons is an allegory for racism and that she used from false equivalence to make the point that both her and Inuyasha were in the same situation puts her in a bad light.

Inuyasha was isolated by people because of his heritage, something he couldn’t change without resorting to intrusive, traumatizing and permanent magic, which Kikyo herself suggested he did. Kikyo isolated herself. People loved her because of her status and she was a privileged woman in comparison. She could have dropped everything since she was unhappy living like that, but she spontaneously chose her duty and powers over love and an ordinary life. And as much as I disagree with her choices, I can at least respect and understand them. What I can’t do is feel sympathy for her when the consequences of said choices catch up with her.

The narrative doesn’t give this problem much focus, it treats it in a much more subtle way. For instance: the jewel only being destroyed by the right wish, paints wishing for Inuyasha to become human as wrong and selfish, with the potential to be catastrophic.

That being said, Inuyasha didn’t hate being a half demon, on the contrary. What he hated was being ostracized over it, so he decided to take matters on his own hands and, when he was free to choose between using the jewel to become a full demon or a human, he went the full demon route because he knew living as human would made him miserable. But the desire of being a full demon was a facade. What he so very clearly wanted, all along, was to be accepted the way he was. That’s why he had no trouble letting go of that goal to pursue the exact  opposite: there was no attachment to it. Full demon or human, he longed for a place to belong. If Kikyo was offering that to him, of course he would have taken it, even if becoming human was far from being the first choice.

Compare that with Inuyasha finally giving up from becoming a full demon, realizing he didn’t have to change at all, that he had a place to belong and people who loved him not despite of what he was but because of it, that he could be accepted as a half demon. Compare that with Inuyasha ending up with the girl that always encouraged him to be himself, with being comfortable enough around her to follow his instincts and embracing his canine mannerisms rather than shutting them down, which he didn’t quite did with Kikyo... The message is clear:

Kikyo should never, in any circumstance, have asked that of him. The implications of it were really bad and on paper it was a win-win situation for her because getting rid of the jewel to become an ordinary woman was something she already wanted. He was the one with the short end of the stick, sacrificing everything without the same level of compromising from her part.

And Inuyasha should never, in any circumstance, have accepted this deal. As his love interest, Kikyo should have been the very first persond advocating for him not to change. If the feelings they had for each other truly were love, then she should be the one helping him getting to terms with himself while he does the same for her, not legitimizing the absurd idea that a part of his essence was less worthy of existing than the other, that he should have be the one to change in order to fit in, rather than the people who oppressed him.

Thematically, even if subtle, the narrative did a decent job out of showing the audience how fucked up the whole thing actually was. What it failed to do was making Inuyasha and the others realizing how wrong it was and holding Kikyo accountable for her actions by making them talk about it.

Because God forbid Kikyo gets vocally told she was wrong (even though she often is) and God forbid Takahashi give Inukik the tiniest bit of substance and relationship development.

[honeybunchcalum]

College Apps- JJ Maybank

Pairing: Reader x JJ and Reader x John B (Platonic) 

Word Count: 2.1k

Summary: College applications...suck. Maybe you can make them suck less for JJ, if you knew the right thing to say. AKA comforting a stubborn JJ.

Warnings: mention of abuse (a brief, vague mention, less than is in the show) + language 

A/N: I know my John B fic didn’t get too many notes, but I enjoyed writing this one, so I’m posting it :) 

Also a HUGE thank you to @alltheannie​ for your kind words and your editing to make this fic the best it can be!! 

Stress, deadlines, wasting time, and the blind hope that everything will turn out ok. What could be a better way to describe college applications?

You only wished you could start your Common App essay with those lines, but you decided against it--this was not a teen movie. It was your dreaded application that would determine where you’d be spending the next four years. 

You wondered what you could possibly say about your life that wasn’t the same as the thousands of other essays that would pour into admissions offices. You laid on your back, seemingly enamored with the ceiling fan’s spins as your friends John B and JJ started airing their frustrations. 

“This is such a BS question-- ‘What challenge have you faced and what did you learn from it?’ my ass. What makes you think I wanna write it all out for some stuck-up admissions guy?” JJ thought out loud. 

John B added, “How the fuck am I supposed to write something about myself and make it sound good?” 

For you, it was the opposite. Living on the richer edge of the Cut, bordering Kook territory had not presented you with many challenges in your life. The problem came with reflecting on your life to find an appropriate hardship to write about. You decided that just agreeing with your best friends’ stance on the prompt would be the easiest solution, since your struggle with it made you feel a bit guilty.

You sighed, sitting up. “John B, I’ll edit yours, and JJ, I don’t know what to tell ya.” You were usually the mediator within the group, level-headed and realistic. 

John B moved closer to show you his screen with what he had written so far. 

“Thanks, Y/N,” JJ sarcastically grumbled. “UNC isn’t even gonna accept me anyway. All they’re gonna see is some poor kid from the island with a sob story about his dad.” He shut his laptop, showing defeat.  

You shot him a glare--you’d always hated when JJ talked about himself like that. He was undoubtedly more than that to you, the Pogues, and everyone who had ever met him. 

“JJ, don’t say that, you’re way more than that--and that will definitely show on paper, and even when you interview and show your Maybank charm,” you assured the blond. “Also, you’ll regret it if you don’t try, just saying.” You turned back to John B’s screen to read his essay as you leaned on his shoulder. 

“That’s also BS, and you know it. Why am I even trying? There’s thousands of other kids out there, and I’m done” JJ said, frustrated. 

“Because you worked so hard, JJ, and you can’t blow it now. Everything that has happened with your dad and stuff doesn’t mean that you don’t deserve a future, or that you shouldn’t try!” you snapped.

The stuffy bedroom fell silent. You knew as soon as it fell out of your mouth that it was too far. 

“Fuck you! Just because we kissed doesn’t mean you get to tell me shit, or psycho-analyze me, or whatever you’re trying to do to fix me, Y/N!” With that, JJ slammed the door to John B’s bedroom. There was a loud “I’m fuckin’ done,” before he rattled the screen door of the Chateau on his way out. 

“Shit! Why the hell did I say that?” You sighed, upset that you had not fully registered the weight of your words until you’d said them.

“Yeah, uh… why the hell did you say that?” John B replied from his bed. He patted the spot next to him with a reassuring “C’mere.” 

As soon as you were halfway onto the bed, he pulled you into him. He was warm and comforting, and smelled like ‘boy’ and salt water. It was probably the cedarwood from the cologne you’d gotten him for his birthday last year. It was a bit of a selfish move since it’s a smell you loved, but it comforted you in times like these (which were more often than you’d think).

You sighed and just focused on the rhythm of John B’s heart rather than yours. He rubbed circles on your back as you laid your head on his warm chest.

But soon everything just hit you. You were upset that JJ wouldn’t listen, frustrated with yourself since you’d said something without thinking, and now annoyed at the repetitive circles on your back. 

You pushed John B’s arm off your back, adjusting yourself so you were facing him. 

He started, “So you’re up to at least one kiss with JJ, three with me, and two with Pope and Kie. Very interesting information, Y/N…”

“That’s what you got from this, John B?! It’s actually more like, four, with JJ, but still! Not my point,” you groaned and flopped flat on the twin-sized bed. 

The Pogues were a rather touchy group, definitely unafraid of showing physical affection, which was sometimes in the form of less-than-sober smooches. But each with JJ was sober, and meaningful, to you at least. But John B didn’t have to know that. 

“Did you understand what I was trying to say? I know I said it wrong, but…” you trailed off, waiting for the brunette to reassure your thoughts.

“I did, but I don’t know why it bothers you so much--that’s just how JJ gets sometimes. He gets heated then leaves, he’ll get over it.” 

“I wasn’t talking about that part,” you paused, “never mind, I’m gonna go find him.”

On your way out of the room, John B’s voice made you turn around.

“I think you feel something else about JJ, but I don’t wanna get into that.” He sat in the silence that he created. 

The two of you were waiting for the other to say something. He wasn’t wrong, you did feel a little different each time you had kissed JJ. But it was nothing, just a product of you being around him all the time. Fuck, now that John B had noticed, that meant whatever you were feeling was obvious. “What gave him the idea of that? Had I slipped up somewhere?” 

“What the fuck? Are you serious?” you spoke after a few seconds, anger tinting your tone.

Your impulse got the best of you, determined to keep up your façade. In one swift movement, your lips were on John B’s. It was well-received, his lips beginning to mold to yours. You pulled away after a few seconds, out of breath of course. 

“And there’s your fourth one, you’re tied with JJ now, ok?” On your way out, you left a bewildered John B on his bed as the door slammed shut. 

Now there were two things you’d done today where you weren’t totally thinking. They just kind of happened, and you didn’t exactly understand why. 

------

You reached the Boneyard, and sure enough you knew the figure sitting and staring off into the water was JJ: the smoke cloud he blew confirmed it. When it wasn’t the venue for island-wide keggers, it was the place that you or any of your friends would go to when you needed to be alone, and that was understood. But you had to break that unsaid pact today, because you’d really fucked up, and only talking could fix it. 

You approached JJ and slowly sat down on the sand next to him, not saying anything for a few seconds. He let the silence settle because he knew it was killing you. Two could play at the ‘pushing-buttons’ game, so you started saying your piece. 

“I’m just tired of you rejecting every nice thing I say to you. You deserve everything, all the love that we all have for you, and every single fucking compliment I give you. And I’ll admit it--yes I was meddling and trying to analyze you and what I said was too far.”

You laid it all out, which was typical for you to do. As a writer yourself, you were a natural communicator-- straightforward and heartfelt. 

The blond turned away from you. “I’m tired of being messed with. Just stop trying to figure me out all the time. I can’t even figure some of my shit out! And don’t say anything to that, y/n,” 

“That’s really hard for me, you know?” you felt tears welling in your eyes as you let out a laugh. The love you had for this boy was overwhelming, and began to run down your face as you wiped the tears. 

“I really fucking care about you, JJ, you know?  I just appreciate you so much...It hurts that you always reject it because I know you deserve it.”

“That’s the thing, I don’t,” he said sharply. 

You leaned forward and grabbed his shoulders in an attempt to make sure your words really reached him. You looked him straight in his eyes. “You are a great person, JJ Maybank, even if you don’t believe it. And I’ll be damned if you don’t get into UNC. Your application essay is literally amazing so far.”

“Did you-”

“I read your screen over your shoulder earlier...I’m also kinda sorry about that too.”

JJ chuckled, but was still cold towards you, you could just sense it. His blue eyes had wandered as you had gripped his shoulders.

“You have so much to say, and I know you can say it right on the page, no matter how much you grumble about it. And you have charm that can win anyone over,” 

“Even you?” 

You groaned, “God, JJ! I knew you’d bring that up!” 

“How couldn’t I? I’m the only one of us you’ve kissed sober, which has to mean you feel something, right?” By this point, JJ was practically yelling. He sounded a little hurt by your hesitation, forcing you to choose your next words carefully.

“Ok, so maybe it does. Does that mean that you’ll listen to what I have to say about you, if I say that I possibly feel something like that about you?” You posed the question. “Also, did you really need to bring it up with John B in the room?”

“Look, I wasn’t thinking. And don’t get on me for that because you said some pretty messed up shit while you weren’t thinking.” JJ did have a point. “Also, yes, maybe I’d give in if you told me about said feelings,” the blond raised an eyebrow and knew he’d won. 

You sighed and looked out onto the water--practically anywhere but at JJ. 

“Fine. JJ you’re pretty cute, and also a good kisser,” you started as you felt your body heat up with a kind of nervous excitement.

“I really appreciate that, Y/N.”  He looked down with a smile. Soon the tension dissipated with JJ’s joking, “But how do you feel?” 

“Oh shut up, wasn’t that enough embarrassment from me for you to believe all the mushy stuff I say about you?” 

“Nah, I’m still feelin’ a little down, so more would definitely help,” JJ smugly said. 

You groaned. “Maybank, ya got me. I think that maybe… I like you as more than my dumb friend.”

“That’s enough for me,” his eyes lit up as his eyes flicked from yours to your lips. You could sense what he was going to do so you automatically leaned into him as your lips practically crashed into his. It felt electric, but more obviously--it felt natural. You just knew how to kiss him and he knew the same. He pulled away and you both looked down, unsure of how to react to something so pleasurable, but maybe not the most accepted considering the Pogue-on-Pogue macking rule in your friend group’s constitution. But that made it all the more enticing.

JJ broke the silence. “I actually do feel a lot better, and no, it’s not just because you’re also a  pretty good kisser. But,” he paused, “because of everything you said. God, you’re gonna love hearing this too much, but you’re right.”

You gave a smile in response. You were ecstatic that he took your words to heart (and maybe a little more since he admitted you were right). 

There was a chill in the air, so JJ instinctively gave you his hoodie and pulled you into him. He smelled like salt water and cologne. 

“So what am I up to now, 5 kisses, and John B’s at 3 drunk ones?” he teased, in line with his competitive nature. 

“Actually, John B’s at 4,” you laughed, “but he thinks he’s tied with you, so don’t tell him.” 

“Well, just to be sure that he doesn’t catch up…” he leaned down and smiled into a sweet kiss. Your smiles stuck as you and JJ spent the rest of the night at the Boneyard, half of the time figuring out how you’d keep this from the Pogues (for now) and the other half enjoying each other’s company.  

Tagging some obx mutuals and blogs: @darkrosekuwonu​ @alltheannie​ @alexandracheers​ @ptersparkers​ @singledadharrington​ @ificanthaveu​ @pogue-writings​ @poguelifesurfshop​

[iwrestlenow]

Many More To Die

TITLE: Many More To Die

FANDOM: Sanders Sides (Necromancer AU)

SUMMARY: For over a thousand years, necromancy has been forbidden in the Kingdoms, the Necromata--its practitioners--feared, reviled, and punished for a power they never asked to wield. Those Necromata who are not killed in the cradle are taken from their families, stripped of their Name--the core of identity and memory--and imprisoned for the rest of their lives.

Logan was twelve when he entered the palace dungeons. Prince Roman was fourteen when he witnessed the young necromancer being brutalized, imprisoned, and left to suffer.

Roman only wanted to offer the other boy comfort, and perhaps a scrap of dignity. He didn't realize his kindness would follow both of them into adulthood--or that Logan would one day become the only person in all the realms that Roman would be able to trust with his life, his heart, and his very soul.

SHIPS: Logince (Logan/Roman), future Moceit (Patton/Janus) and Dukexiety (Remus/Virgil)

WARNINGS: lots of death because necromancy, slash, and more to come as I figure it out ‘cause it’s late and I’m tired. Also, no betas, we die like men.

NOTES: This is based on the gorgeous piece of art by @gretacticdraws that can be found here. I ended up writing a ficlet for it, and then my brain got swallowed up. Breathe at me wrong, and I’ll write more...hell, who am I kidding? I’ll write more anyway because this? Is self indulgent drivel. XD

Also located at AO3 over here.

1023, A.A.

Necromata.

Sitting in the middle of his cell, twelve year old Logan...Logan choked on tears as his shoulder screamed, his bones ached, and the flickering lights of his cell let his imagination run wild with all manner of monsters and omens of doom lurking within every shadow.

He knew he was lucky—many necromancers were caught in the cradle and killed. Very few survived as long as he had. He could be grateful to his family for that much, that he'd lived long enough to escape a death sentence.

He did have a family. He knew that much—remembered that much. Everything else, they had taken before throwing him into his cell. The prison mage's hand was still a ghost of cold fire against his forehead, worms of icy coal burning through his brain to wipe out every trace of the things that would make him what he was, allow him to be more safely contained.

The name spoken with fear and loathing was all that he had left.

Necromata. The legions of the Animator...the necromancers.

“Psst!”

The hiss echoed off the stone in the corridor, made his heart leap into his chest as he looked around for the source of it.

“Psst! Over here!”

Logan tried to scramble back from the door of his cell, and screamed when he forgot about his dislocated shoulder, collapsing as it gave way under his weight.

“No, don't—please, it's okay. I don't want to hurt you.”

Blinking, Logan squinted into the low light beyond the torches that barely lit his new home. Something bright green flickered there, an outline visible that was vaguely person-shaped.

“Who...who are you?” he asked, curling his injured arm as close to his body as he could so he wouldn't forget again as he got to his feet.

“I...I'm not supposed to say.”

Logan shuffled a little closer to the bars of his cell. “Then how do I know you don't want to hurt me?”

“The prison mage took your Name—you won't understand if I tell you. Just...”

The person-shape on the other side of the bars moved forward, an arm protruding through to set a bowl on the dirt floor of Logan's cell. Inside there was water, and sitting across the rim was a heavy piece of leather.

“I saw what the guard did when you came in. Your shoulder...it happened to me once when I snuck out to hunt for the Lazari.”

“The Lazari don't exist.” Logan replied, reaching up with his good hand to try and wipe some of the tears and snot off his face. “They're a fairy tale, like the Animata.”

“How do you know?”

Logan opened his mouth...then closed it after long moments.

“I...I don't know.” he admitted. “I must have lost it when the prison mage took my Name.”

“Then you could be wrong.” the person-shape insisted, those emerald flecks in the near shadow sparkling with determination. “I'll find a Lazari one day. Just you wait.”

“What does that have to do with my dislocated shoulder?”

“Oh! Sorry—uhm, I did it once. When I snuck out, I fell from a tree and mine popped out. My brother showed me how to use the bars on our window to pop it back in! I threw up, though—and he made me bite a belt so I wouldn't scream.”

The hand appeared between the bars again, nudging the bowl and the leather strap forward a little further.

“I can tell you how to do it.”

Logan shuffled forward a couple more steps, then shifted to kneel in front of the bowl of water.

“I...might know.” He replied, staring at the bowl for a long moment before he peered back into the dark, into the green spark that was his benefactor's eyes. “Thank you.”

The person-shape said nothing for a long moment...

“Berry.”

“What?”

“Berry! The guards called you Logan, right? They took your Name—maybe Berry can be your new one.”

Before Logan could comment, the person-shape grew less distinct, and the flicker of green was gone with the clatter of footsteps scurrying away into the dark.

It was a silly idea—a Name taken could not be restored so easily. Still, the word rattled around in his head along with the one that made his bones ache again.

Necromata. Berry. Necromata. Berry. Berry.

Logan Berry.

Something stirred in the middle of Logan's mind, in his marrow—in the place that magic had scoured out and rubbed raw within the pathways of his brain. Something stirred, settled...

Something slid into place, and all of a sudden the shadows were far less frightening.

Popping his shoulder back into the socket hurt far more than dislocating it had—and yet while he'd sobbed his soul out after being injured, after being robbed of all that made him a person, he shed not a single tear as he put the leather between his teeth, wrenched his joint back into place, and used the fresh water to clean up after he'd emptied his stomach into the corner of his cell.

He even managed to sleep on his pallet of straw, and dreamed of green embers in the dark, drifting into the shadows in his cell and transforming every monster into a friend.

**********

1033, A.A.

“I had the dream again.”

“A kinky one?”

“Sweet leaping gods, Remus!”

The high, strident cackle of his twin brother echoed through Prince Roman's bedchamber, making him wonder yet again why he thought he could talk to the crazy idiot about anything remotely meaningful. Yes, Remus was trustworthy—he gave Roman all manner of hell for the secrets he shared, but had suffered his fair share of indignities to keep his mouth shut—but sometimes he wondered if it was worth the teasing and the laughter to have such a steadfast confidant.

Remus had secrets of his own, after all—the numerous Anima that shared his bed, for one. Like Roman, Remus was fascinated by the Necromata, the true necromancers that all citizens of the Kingdoms were taught to hate and fear. The Anima were little more than pretenders, mages of other disciplines that toyed with the death magic that had been outlawed for over a thousand years.

Still, they had a lot to teach—and made good company, from the way Remus spoke of his dalliances.

“Oh, I'm just yanking your chain, big brother!” Remus assured him, crossing over to drape himself over Roman's back, chin settling on Roman's shoulder to read what his twin was writing as he hunched over his desk. “C'mon now—tell me about the dream, and I'll tell you about the Necromata I fucked last night.”

Roman straightened abruptly at that, unceremoniously sending Remus sprawling to the floor. Turning his chair, he gaped down at his brother and pointed an accusing finger at him.

“You did not sleep with a real necromancer, you lying sack of horse dung!” he hissed. “Why would you even say that in the palace of all places?!?”

“Because the sex was unbelievably good?” Remus offered, shrugging from his place on the floor, flat on his back. “Believe me, Ro Bro, a guy that can't actually feel human contact can keep it up for a nice, long, slow roll in the hay. It's pretty remarkable!”

Roman just huffed, standing from his seat—and promptly sinking to the floor to sprawl out right beside Remus.

“You're lying.” he said simply.

Remus was quiet a long time...then sighed.

“Of course I am. He was just another Animata.”

“Anima. The Animata are a myth, like the Lazari.”

“Since when did you turn into such a brainiac, Roro? We both know I've always been the smart one.”

Roman rolled his eyes with a grin, stretching his leg to kick Remus's ankle—but the truth of the matter was, Remus was right. Between the pair of them, Remus was smarter by leaps and bounds. He was studying the collegiate sciences when he was seventeen, and began his magic training before he'd even reached puberty. The fact that the only part of the sciences he enjoyed were anatomy and mortuary study were entirely besides the point, as was the fact that Remus wasn't actually capable of using magic at all.

He was, as their father lovingly put it, a rogue genius: in possession of an intellect so massive that the rules couldn't restrain him. He either knew too well how to circumnavigate them, or he simply didn't care enough to bother and did what he wanted—what he thought was right, no matter the consequence.

Roman might have been the elder of the twins—by one hour, eleven o'clock of one night where Remus came at midnight the next morning—but he aspired, every single day, to be the maverick that Remus was. He simply lacked the brains...and the courage.

Which was why today, it was Roman their father would be naming as his successor, and not Remus. Roman would be king, would rule by the law and the will of the gods, and Remus would...get to be Remus for the rest of his life, a crown prince without a care in the world.

“Tell me about the dream, Roro.”

Remus's voice was gentle this time, his fingers walking their way along Roman's arm until he could find his hand and weave it into his own.

Roman sighed, staring up at the mural on the ceiling of his bedchamber—a beautifully wrought depiction of the Fall of Death, the final battle between the Animator, the first of the Necromata, and their ancestor, King Thomas Andres, that had saved the Kingdoms over a thousand years ago.

“He was in it.”

“The boy from the dungeons?”

Roman nodded. He could feel Remus watching him...

Just like he could feel the boy from the dungeons watching him every time he had the dream... ********** “He was here again.”

“Jumpin' Jiminy, Lo—are you sure?”

Logan nodded, mostly to himself. Patton couldn't see him, not from the bathtub behind the partition that separated it from the rest of the room, but it hardly mattered—after eight years as cell mates, the two of them had become as close as brothers, as close as twins according to some of the guards that had met the king's identical twin sons.

They had grown so naturally into the relationship, it made Logan wonder sometimes if he'd had a brother before his Name had been taken.

Well...it made him wonder in the early days, at any rate. Logan had stopped wondering many years ago.

Suffice to say, Patton didn't need to see him nod to know that Logan had.

“Well? What'd he do?”

Logan let his mind wander back to the night before—the dream space that he so often occupied, the boy that had come to him in the dark ten years before with a bowl of water, a leather strap, and a name.

The boy he'd come to think of as the Green Man, with those eyes that the dark couldn't fully hide.

“The same thing he always does.” Logan managed to reply, setting down the pen he'd been using in favor of resting his elbows on his desk and steepling his fingers to press against his lips. Among those Necromata imprisoned in the palace dungeons, Logan was quite fortunate: he was allowed a cell mate, access to books and writing implements, even a small window sill garden consisting of plants that couldn't be used for magical purposes.

He was very lucky. Ten years of good behavior had given him an incredible amount of leeway and granted him creature comforts like access to regular bathing privileges. The guards even referred to him by his chosen name.

He was, for all intents and purposes, treated like he was truly human. A prisoner, always, but one the guards and prison mages shared a basic blood connection to, unlike the other Necromata.

“...Lo?...Logan!”

Shaking himself, Logan cleared his throat and tried to beat back the heat he could feel rising in his cheeks, having been caught wool gathering.

“Apologies, I didn't catch that.” he called over his shoulder.

“I said, did he say anything this time?”

Logan shook his head, knowing once again that his actions would be understood rather than seen. Patton asked the same thing every time Logan mentioned the visits, and every time it was the same.

If Patton really knew the content of the Green Man's visitations...

Pressing his fingertips to his mouth again, Logan shut his eyes and let himself remember.

The visits were always in a dream space—for years, before the visitations became more regular, Logan had assumed the Green Man was a guard's son, or the child of some member of the palace staff. Later, when the Green Man came to Logan in his sleep, he figured he was the son of a prison or court mage—who else could manage to dream walk in the mind of even a crippled necromancer like him?

Then again...Logan was different from many prisoners like himself.

In the dream, Logan still cannot see his face. Like those ephemeral dreams from his first few nights in the dungeons, he's little more than shadows with burning points of light the color of fresh shoots just springing from the soil. Over the years, he's become more distinct, but still nothing Logan can give any real definition.

He is a man made of darkness, his eyes reflecting what spark of magic lives within him. They never speak to each other—Logan never dares, secretly apprehensive that disturbing the quiet will somehow end this irregular communion they share.

All the Green Man does is extend a hand, the only part of him Logan can truly see. What was once small and slim fingered has changed over the years into a large hand, broad but lean, tendons standing out below each knuckle and tanned by exposure to the sun. Every time, he reaches out, and every time, Logan takes his hand and just...holds on.

In the dream space, Logan can feel his touch. It's likely a projection, something imagined, but there's strength and warmth in that hand—the pressure of fingers meshing with his own, the heat of palm sealed to palm. There's something under the skin, itchy and trembling, and it makes Logan want to pull away because it's just too much...

The Green Man never lets him. Gradually, the feeling passes, and Logan clings until the feeling returns, crashing over him and sliding back in waves beating the shore of his nervous system.

Logan is always the first to let go. The Green Man makes sure of it—and then he leaves.

“Are you okay, kiddo?”

Logan looked up sharply, twisting to see Patton over his shoulder. His mop of tawny curls is swept back from his face, still dark and wet from his bath, the chill of the cell raising gooseflesh on his bare torso.

He has one hand holding the towel around his waist, and the other resting on Logan's shoulder.

The pressure is barely there, that buzzing awareness of contact easily missed if not expected.

Patton hastily lifts his hand, face screwed up in silent apology. Logan dislikes physical contact, even if he cannot feel it—just like any of the Necromata, so divorced from the living, human populous that they cannot even connect to them through touch.

“Didn't mean to spook you, Lo. Just...you're real quiet. Usually, you got more to say after a visit from You Know Who.”

Logan nodded, then made a point of reaching out to squeeze Patton's hand briefly before letting it go just as quickly.

“Apologies. I suppose I'm just...distracted by today.”

“Yeah—hey, you think the prince'll come down here?” Patton asked hopefully, drawing back to go and find some clothes. “I mean, if he's gonna learn to be king after the ceremony...”

Logan let Patton continue to chatter about the potential for this new ruler to somehow see their plight, somehow be their salvation. He let the words, the hope, wash over him without making contact.

Patton could have hope, because he had no Name. No history, no memory, no past and therefore no future. He was a blank slate, for all intents and purposes, unable to access the power of the Necromata with no life of his own to bind it to.

Unlike Logan. Logan, who no longer wondered if he'd had a brother in his family.

Logan, who could share a dream space, something only mages were capable of.

Logan, who had been given a new name by his benefactor so many years ago, a name that others used daily.

Logan Berry, who even now could feel the essence of every rat behind the dungeon walls, every guard on patrol, every prisoner languishing beneath the lowest floors of the palace...and every noble, every royal, every peasant up above.

Logan Berry, who could not remember his family, but could remember that he once had a brother.

Because, despite the fact that a Name taken could not be restored so easily, Logan had taken a name freely given and made it his own.

A Name, freely given. A life, restored.

Logan could not have hope, because he had the power of the Necromata at his fingertips—and it was only a matter of time before good behavior would no longer be enough to earn him the leeway to stay alive.

[apple-ships]

👉👈 *is shy* can I please have part 2? Like when they are at the soiree? You can surprise me on who I end up with! (No rush)

HEY SO- remember when I was gonna do this like 2 and a half years ago? Well I finally got around to finishing it! This is just part one though, let me know who you pick so I can write their ending~ Choose your own adventure babey!

hehe I’ll write both eventually though :3c

    Rachel looks up at the clear blue sky, sighing in annoyance. With two dates, you’d think one would show up on time. She’s been moving around from spot to spot near the entrance to the park for the last twenty minutes, waiting for the two men she invited to arrive. Neither of those dorks will get a single favor ever again if they flake on her tonight. The sound of heavy footsteps and panting breaths shake her out of her thoughts. 

    “Sorry we’re late!” The two men in question jog up to her with apologetic looks. The voice belonged to Lance, who’s putting on an innocent smile. He’s usually dressed in a leather jacket fit for his career, but today he’s dressed up in a dress shirt and slacks. Not that there was an issue with his usual outfit. His short sleeve patterned dress shirt really shows off his toned arms- That’s enough of that thought, actually. 

    Apollo stands close behind, his hands on his knees from exertion. His job usually requires fancier dress than this, so seeing him in a sweater vest and trousers is a bit refreshing. He flashes a charming smile at the lady of the evening. “Yeah, sorry about that! We got held up a little bit…” 

    “You guys weren’t fighting over me, were you?” she teased. They both looked at the ground. Ah, hit the nail on the head. The thought of the two handsome men fighting for her attention warms her cheeks up. “Well come on, let’s go find a seat and listen to the band. Dinner won’t start for a little while.” Her partners nod and follow her over to a blanket spread out across the grass, far enough from the stage that they could still hold a conversation without raising their voices. A basket of assorted fruits sits in the center of the blanket.

    “Did you set all this up?” Apollo asks as he takes a seat. The other two follow his lead. 

    “If by ‘all this’ you mean cutting up some watermelon and grabbing a blanket? Why yes, I did,” Rachel replies, earning a smile from the other two. 

    “Well I think it’s lovely,” Lance says. He picks up a watermelon slice and gives her a wink before taking a bite. “And delicious, too.” She shrugs off the compliment with a blush and pops a grape into her mouth. 

    “Lance is right,” the unsaid for once hangs in Apollo’s voice, “Thank you, Rachel.” The trio picks at food and makes idle chatter while the band plays in the distance. The two suitors of the day let down their guard a bit, joking with each other and relaxing into the music. The rivalry between fades into the background as they laugh and smile together with their object of affection. 

    “Is this what a soiree is supposed to be like?” Lance asks. “I’ve never exactly been to one, at least on this planet, but I thought they were supposed to be fancier.” His eyes scan the people scattered throughout the park, some dancing, some sitting, some wandering around and socializing. “Not to say I’m not enjoying this!” he quickly adds. Apollo furrows his brow in thought.

    “Well, traditionally it’s a little more formal, not to mention indoors. I guess they’re taking some liberties, not that I’m complaining. It’s hard to relax at something too fancy.” 

    “They probably just wanted something that started with ‘S’ so they could pair it up with spring,” Rachel says. “‘Spring Soiree’ is catchier than ‘Spring Picnic’ or ‘Spring Festival.’”    

“Yeah,  that’s gotta be it,” Apollo says. “False advertising for the sake of alliteration.” This earns a pair of chuckles. The music slows down. Some couples near the stage lean into each other, while some other pairs nervously shuffle around and grab hands. Lance and Apollo share a competitive glance, the tension immediately returning. Apollo’s faster, he reaches his hand out to Rachel a bit too fast to be romantic. “Will you have this dance?” he asks, his cheeks turning red from embarrassment. 

“Now that’s an offer I can’t refuse,” she replies. He sighs in relief before helping her up.

“I’ll keep the blanket warm,” mutters Lance as he pops another cheese cube into his mouth and turns away from the couple. Rachel is led closer to the stage, still within eyeshot of their picnic spot as a courtesy to Lance. Apollo leads the dance surprisingly well, he must have had a lot of practice. He keeps his touches light, making sure she’s okay with every move before he commits to it. 

“So...” he starts. “What do you think of Lance?” His eyes are fixed on the ground, anxiously awaiting an answer. She laughs.

“You finally get me alone and you wanna talk about Lance?” He shakes his head vigorously. 

“No, that’s not it! I just…” he sighs. “I really like you. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have tagged along and made this a weird three way date.” Apollo gently takes her hand, finally looking into her eyes. “If I don’t have a chance and you’ve already made your decision… I won’t get in the way of that, I want you to be happy. I just know that I’d regret it forever if I didn’t at least try.” 

Before she had the chance to reply, a figure nudged him out of the way. “Alright, alright, quit hogging her. I don’t want you getting all lovey-dovey over here.” Lance offers his hand to Rachel and bows slightly. “Will you dance with me?” 

Apollo smiles and waves his hand in resignation. “I’ll be back at the blanket. You don’t have to answer right away.” She smiles apologetically and takes Lance’s hand. He’s a little less practiced, but he takes care to be gentle. He puts his hands lightly around her waist like she’s the world’s most precious treasure. 

“What were you two talking about? Did he tell you any secrets?” he jokes.

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” Rachel answers with a smirk. He laughs and twirls her around, catching her and holding her close. 

“I would like to know... but I won’t pry,” he says with a sly smile. Realizing how close they are, he loosens his grip to increase the distance, blushing a bit and glancing to the side as he does so. “So, uh… Listen, as much as I hate to admit it, Apollo’s a great guy. I’d um… I’d understand if you’d like to finish off this date with him instead of me.” He cups her face and stares intently into her eyes. “But that doesn’t mean I’m giving up on you, you’re too special for me to let you get away that easily.” 

He smiles and steps back, reaching down from her face to take her hand in his. “I’m sure he said something along those lines, too. I’ll give him his chance, fair and square, before sweeping you off your feet. Let’s go back and talk to him” 

The pair returns to the blanket hand in hand, almost stopping Apollo’s heart at the sight. “Did you uh,” he starts, standing up to look at her straight on. “Did you make your decision?” He looks nervously at the hands that are joined together. 

“I’m being good for Rachel tonight,” Lance says as he lets go of her hand. “I’m giving you a fair chance.” He moves to stand next to the other man. He holds his hand out to Rachel, giving Apollo a meaningful glance. The other man rolls his eyes slightly and does the same.

“So,” Apollo puts on his most charming smile through his nervousness, “Who will you choose?” 

[chimswae]

BTS Caretaker CH11

Summary: She may think she has Bangtan Sonyeondan wrapped around her fingers. She may think it is easy to love the members equally without hurting any soul. She may think the boys wont fall head over heels for her. She assumes it is okay to show a little love and affection towards the boys, what if she gets it all wrong? What if it only brings more complication to her already complicated life? Can she survive their charms? Will she be able to resist them? What if they just wont let her go?

- Pairing: BTS x Oc ( Yoongi x OC, Jungkook x OC)

- Genre: Fluff, Slight Angst, Romance, Idol!au

- Word Count: 2,741

- Author Note:I made double update today to make up to the missing weeks! ^^ i appreciate your feedback and comment, just drop in my ASK BOX :)

Previous | Next

Chapter 11 

Journey back to his dorm feels like forever, the night skies were sombre and starless, and it seemed to mock Jin’s current state.  He purposely walked slowly along the empty streets in hope he could eliminate these unimportant worries in him.

When he was first brought into the company, he had zero knowledge and skills. Even though, it was indeed true skills can be shaped over times, but it was not an easy journey for him. He worked extra hard to make himself worthy in the group. Some may find it was ridiculous to scout him and turned him into one of possible Bangtan’s members.

Jin never missed a day excreting his sweat and tears, singing at the top of his lung, dancing his heart out just to ensure he is worth to be called as Bangtan’s members. His visual alone was not enough, he needed more.

Daesang awards were huge for them and up until now they still could not believe how this thing could happen overnight. They worked their ass off for years, not they wanted to brag and claimed they were better than other idols out there. Different people has different struggle in life. Each of the members has their own struggle too, including him.

He’s aware of the hatred thrown to them over the years, but the support from Armys manage to cover that up. Jin smiled to himself at the memories that he shared with the members and Armys. He would never get tired performing on stage, something that he would do forever.

His attention shifted to a store across the road. Absentmindedly, he crosses the road with a wide grin plastered across his face, there stood huge Bangtan’s standee in their Puma’s outfits. To be frank, he was proud of their achievement. Sometimes, it fascinated him to see their faces everywhere in the city.

It was too much to be called as a dream.

It was real.

“You did great” he whispered under his breath, and he took few more minutes to stare blankly at the standee in front of him. It felt like they had fulfilled the impossible in life.

Tapping his finger on the glass where his standee stood handsomely “You never cease to amaze me Kim Seokjin, good looking as always” he complimented.

When it came to self-compliment, Jin knew the drill.

It somewhat helped him to go through rough times in life, a little self-confident that is all he needed. Then, he would face even the hardest hurdles in life without any single whine.

-------------------

Pinching the bridge of her nose to ease the ache, Seul sighed tiredly, scanning the now organized place with a wide grin “That took me forever!” she stretched a little. Unlike yesterday, she went a little later than usual, because she had to serve an early shift considering Wongeun is out of town for a week.

Checking every nook and cranny of the place, Seul entered that one room which she hated the most, Jin and Suga’s room. As irrelevant as it might sound, the room alone sent tingle down her spine. It brought back to that day when Yoongi and her just.. let’s stop it there. How it was not easy for her to just ignore this thought away, but they were talking about a kiss that they shared. Unintended kiss.

Seul walked pass Yoongi’s room and went straight to Jin. Crouching down in front of the cages where he kept Odeng and Eomuk, Seul decided to feed those two little not so innocent creatures. If it weren’t for them, the thing with Jimin would not happen.

Speaking of Jimin, it rendered her speechless. The topic of Jimin and Yoongi are something that she wanted to avoid for the rest of her life.

“Let’s eat Odeng-ie.. Eomuk-ie…” said Seul gleefully. Setting the food on floor, she sat down cross legged while her fingers fiddles with the lock. As soon as she unlocked the cage, the two siblings sprinted out happily and went straight to their source of happiness.

Seul strokes the top of Odeng head with her finger softly not wanting to scare it away “Eat well, you are so adorable” she giggled.

She then plugged her buds and tuned to some random songs like RM’s Mixtape whom she chose to ignore at first but only to fail her. It was not easy to completely ignore good songs especially Bangtan Sonyeondan’s songs. She had to admit this one fact that they were genius including Min Suga. The honesty in the songs that they produced gave life to her dull self. Guess, their songs are becoming Seul’s main therapy.

Letting out small chuckle, she watched the siblings fought for food and went around and round like a happy kid “It must be less hassle for animal like you. You have nothing to worry off, only to survive in this harsh world. That is not until you find the best owner that can love you without boundaries, then you are set to go” she whispered, giving Eomuk’s small head a soft pat.

After spending for good 30 minutes monitoring Odeng and Eomuk , Seul decided to call it a day, keeping them back into the cage. “We will play again tomorrow, I hope your Jin daddy would not be mad at me. Don’t tell him” she giggled.

Tapping her hand together, she rose up leaving the room silently. To her surprise, she was welcomed by the dark room. Seul tilted her head in confusion “Did I turn off the light? I don’t remember doing that” scrutinizing the room to find any sign of soul inside.

Seul turned her heels to serve the food that she cooked earlier on the table, the boys would be back anytime. With a light heart, she hummed to Bangtan’s songs while keeping her hand busy until everything is arranged perfectly.

A loud bam coming from the front door surprised her, Seul cursed mentally knowing what might come to her. Will she face another nonsense moments with one of the members again? Screw this, meaning it was a sign for her to leave immediately without them knowing. However, it was rather weird that she didn’t catch any commotions from the front considering how loud the boys could be sometimes.

                    It was a long silent only sound of light footstep could be heard across the room.

Her eyes eyed her stuff that lied helplessly at the corner of the room, thankfully it was away from prying eyes. Stealthily, Seul made her way without making any sound so she could leave instantly. As she was about to gather herself again and flee from the scene, her ears perked up, those sound of soft sob drew her attention from her stuff.

Who is crying? Her brows knitted together. Seul got up, bailing her earlier plan to escape. She was more interested in finding the source of that soft voice. To her, it sounded broken and for an odd reason her heart clenched in pain.

Her heart pounded as she searched for the owner of the sad sob. Due to the darkness in the room, she didn’t even realize the soft thing beneath her “Oh my god, im s-“her eyes shot open upon her skin made contact with the thing there.

His head was buried in his knees turning him into a fragile kid who feared the darkness.

Jin head snapped at the friction, and he looked at Seul with confused look. Even in the darkness she could see his eyes glistening with tears, something told her, he was indeed broken inside. “Who…are you…” in comparison to her encounter with Jimin, this one with Jin was rather calm. Most probably Jin was more mature and think a little rationally, she supposed.

His voice was raspy and gruffy, and Seul continued to stare at him in confusion and concern. He was supposed to flip out or scared at least because after all he found a stranger in the same room as his. Why would he act all calm and alright? Could Yoongi or Jimin told everyone about her existence? That could be it judging from Jin’s ignorance.

“Are you urm alright?” Seul inquired timidly.

Jin nodded slightly as his kept his meaningful gaze making Seul recoiled in her stance “You are Mrs Hwang’s daughter?” Jin mumbled. “I think I saw you before, that eyes” his lips were pressed into thin line trying to recall the memories.

“I don’t remember meeting you” she blinked.

He shifted, and even his little movement got her nervous. Seul stared blankly at Jin’s hand, he held out his palm to her direction as if like an offer but what was that for again. She hesitantly reached her right hand to his warm one, and Jin’s strong grip almost knocked her down.

Using Seul weight as a support, he pushed his body up, standing straight with a soft sigh.  

“Never mention this to other” he warned.

“I..dont have any intention on telling anyone. Urm.. I will probably just go” she pulled her hand away from Jin’s grasp. Now she missed the emptiness and warmth that she felt earlier. Why was she like this? Was she that desperate for a touch?

Nothing came from Jin, so she took the cue to walk away before anyone else appeared and she didn’t want to be cornered by the group. This was not the time to be investigated. He reached around and took hold of her wrist gently but firmly causing the girl to turn her body again facing Jin “Can I have a cup of hot tea?” he blurted out.

Seul was losing her words, first Jin was too beautiful and secondly the words coming from his mouth alone got her heart flipping weirdly here and there. Crazy Ji Seul.

“Su..re…I will get it for you” she coughed softly, slowly slipping away. She could feel his gaze throw daggers through her head. Was he always that calm? However, he looked like he was over all shits in life. Did something happen to him? Where were others?

 ------------------------

The atmosphere was rather awkward, glancing over the man across her, Seul mentally complimented Jin’s visual. It was her first time seeing him up close, so it was fascinating to see the popular guy who became a talk of town due to his overflowing charms. She had to agree that Jin is dashing and super good looking.

Jin took a long sip from his hot tea, it helped to comfort his heart.

Finally breaking the silence, Jin let out an exhaust sigh garnering Seul attention “So are you a fan?” he looked up meeting her bewildered stare.

“Mmm.. not really? I listen to your songs though” she replied abruptly.

“Are you sure you are not a sasaeng?” he raked his fingers in his hair not breaking the contact with Seul. Jin was studying her diligently, since he only heard the story from Yoongi and Jimin. He had no choice but to believe Yoongi’s theory. When he first heard it from Jimin few days ago, Jungkook and him was shocked that it matched Yoongi’s story. Leaving them with no choice, they decided to trust Jimin and Yoongi, therefore just like that the rest of the members were being informed about this Mrs Hwang daughter situation. Well, minus their managers of course.

The boys decided to take this matter in their own hands. If what Seul told them was the truth, then what choice did they have. The caretaker ahjumma had been awfully nice to them, the least they could do was to seal the secret away from their managers and Bighit.

Depending on the root of the story and it validity, of course.

“Do I look like that ‘oppa please notice me juseyo~’ kind of girl” Seul mimicked a fangirl voice and rolled her eyes.

The corner of his lips was tugged into a small smile “It is too much a coincidence that you are the caretaker ahjumma’s daughter, how can we trust you?” he pressed.

“That is up to you, I am here to do my job as requested by my mother. And if it weren’t for her, I would not be here invading your so called personal space. I think I explained to that Suga guy and some weird guy who go around the house shirtless” she stopped, hissing under her breath for spouting nonsense in front of Jin.

“Weird guy who wander around the house shirtless? What exactly happened to you and Jimin?” he raised his brows with a deep frown.

Seul flustered “Nothing. I thought he told you everything considering the first thing that came out from you was ‘Are you Mrs Hwang’s daughter?’. Didn’t rude Suga tell you everything?” she snorted hoping Yoongi would not reveal the kisses.

“ Rude Suga” Jin shook his head in disapproval, “That is offending me Miss Mrs Hwang’s daughter” he exclaimed.

“Heol, I admired your strong bonds with Suga” she looked at him disbelief. Then the table turned silent again, as they were deep in their own thought trying to decipher things around them. On the other hand, Jin was too exhausted to start another mouth fight. For now, he trusted her seeing how she acted. Seul was definitely not a fan or worse sasaeng fan.

Seul cleared her throat easing the awkwardness “So, what happen back then?” she chewed her lower lips.

Not expecting the question from Seul, Jin face felt and now he returned to his sombre self “That one..i am having that moment where my mental shut down by its own. It is unavoidable and make me feel shitty. I feel like I have achieved something in life, but it still fails me” he murmured.

“Whatever happen to you, remind yourself that no pain comes without a purpose. You just have to move on from what is hurting you, yet don’t you ever forget the things that it taught you. Jin-ssi, just because you are struggling doesn’t mean you are failing. Every great success that you achieve now is a worthy struggle for you. Then, you realize that the hurdles that you face is not found on the path, it is the path itself. Do not be afraid to get up again and to try. I know you are worthy to be in Bangtan. Everyone does.” She exhaled softly.

He couldn’t take his eyes off her, and the lecture began to sound like a melodious music to his ears. Jin stared at her wide eyes as if it was some kind of joke that this person whom he just met could read through him like an open book. He found the strength to smile again afterwards which flustered Seul. She will never get used of Jin’s good look, it was dazzling.

“That takes my breath away..Mrs Hwang..mm?” before he could continue with the long nickname that he gave her, Seul blurted “It is Seul. Ji Seul” she smiled awkwardly.

“Seul..” he hummed with a shy smile.

“It is like you could read through me, thank you for that. I appreciated it Seul-ssi” he stretched out his hand to the cup direction, taking a short sip from it again while eyeing Seul. He remembered now where they first met. It was the elevator girl looking confused and broken. So, that was her.

“I need to go back, it is late. I don’t want to cause any uproar when the rest came in. This maybe probably our first and last meeting Jin-ssi. I will perform my job under the radar from now on” she professed.

Jin flinched upon hearing her random blabbered, Seul got up from her seat bowing politely “There are food for everyone, urm except for Suga” she patted her lips and scolded it making the older guy chuckled.

“I didn’t mean to sound bias but he…nevermind. I will take my leave now” she rubbed her neck, gathering her stuff and exited the area before she made fun of herself in front of him. Her steps came to a stop halfway to the living room, and without turning back to Jin “And, Jin-ssi.. Remember before anything, to be yourself and love yourself. It is the recipe to happiness” Jin tilted his head staring at her back with genuine smile. There was astounding power flowing in this room the likes of which he had never felt before.

“We will meet again for sure Ji Seul”

This work belongs to  Chimswae © 2020. All Rights Reserved.

[hellishchrissy]

chapter 1 - this will sound dumb 

chapter 2 - we need rules

chapter 3 - we’re in this mess together

chapter 4 - just don’t do anything i wouldn’t

chapter 5 - so fucking special

chapter 6  - it’ll mess everything up

WEDNESDAY 15:06

Two weeks had passed fairly quickly in Eleonora and Edoardo’s fabricated relationship bliss. Each day that passed they felt slightly more comfortable with each other, and each day they shared a bit more of themselves to each other. Every now and then Eleonora let herself sink into the relationship bliss, letting the facade fall - and to be honest, it felt nice to sometimes pretend that what they were doing wasn’t pretending. Sometimes she’d look at Edoardo, and she’d feel genuine dedication to him, and every now and then she could feel Edoardo looking at her in a way that had been very different just a few weeks ago. The line between play pretend blurred for a few seconds at a time, but Eleonora never let it go too far.

Eleonora was even making friends with some of Edoardo’s closest friends - Chicco and Federico, to be exact. The boys were surprisingly genuine and easy-going, and were very taken with Edoardo’s newest girlfriend. The two of them had revealed that Edoardo had usually dated girls that had no interest in being their friends, and usually had avoided any sort of conversation with the girls that Edoardo usually  spent time with. It felt strange to be so genuinely accepted by Edoardo’s friends, even if there was nothing genuine about their relationship. They had fooled everyone around them - maybe even themselves.

Eleonora pulled out her earphones as she approached Edoardo, Federico and Chicco on the school hallway after their last class, waving her hand at the boys as she stopped beside them. “Hi.”

“Eleonora,” Fede and Chicco said nearly in unison, their tones playful. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, just passing by,” Eleonora stated with a smile as Edoardo’s arm wrapped around her almost instinctively, and he pressed a kiss or two on to the girl’s forehead - the gesture felt almost protective.

“But I did have something to tell you,” she continued, tapping Edoardo’s chest. “Filo wants to have dinner with us. Tomorrow? Around eight?”

Edoardo clicked his tongue, leaning back on his heels as he quietly relived the horror stories of family dinners at the Sava household. Shitty asparagus risottos and burnt pizza, the staples of Filo and Eleonora’s homecooking - at least according to her. “Uh, depends who’s cooking. You or Filo?”

Fede was grinning as he watched the conversation unfold, clumsily trying to stifle his laughter.  Eleonora glared at him for a fraction of a second, then turned her attention back to Edoardo beside her. “Neither. We’re ordering pizza.”

Edoardo’s worried look melted into a smile so bright his eyes twinkled, and he leaned down to kiss her cheek. “Okay, then. I’ll be there.”

“Great!” Eleonora said, sounding genuinely excited for Filippo and Edoardo to actually meet. They had that episode that one night weeks ago, but quite frankly Eleonora had doubted they’d still be doing this little play pretend by this point, so she had never really bothered to actually let the boys to get to know each other. “But I gotta run. Eva and the girls are waiting for me, we’re getting coffee together.”

Edoardo felt truly happy to hear that Eleonora had gotten new friends, and he let it show. He squeezed Eleonora’s hand with his own, reassuring her. “Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

Eleonora nodded, looking slightly nervous for whatever - was it the girls or tomorrow night? Edoardo couldn’t quite read her, but he stopped worrying as soon as Eleonora got up on her tippy toes and pressed a kiss on his cheek, smiling. “Bye.”’

And then she was gone, hurrying down the hallway towards doors to get to her friends. Edoardo stared at her until she was gone from his view, disappeared around the corner. And even after that he stood there, frozen, his cheek still burning from Eleonora’s kiss. Fuck.

“You guys wanna go to my place and play Fifa?” Fede interrupted Edoardo’s daydreaming, and he felt himself physically flinch.

Edoardo cleared his throat, rubbing the back of his head absent-mindedly as he forcibly tore his gaze from the spot where Eleonora had disappeared. “Sure, sure, sure.”

THURSDAY 19:47

Eleonora jumped off the couch when the doorbell rang, knowing it was Edoardo since the pizzas hey had ordered had arrived five minutes earlier. She entered the hallway and raced her way to the front door of their apartment like an excited child, making Filippo chuckle in the kitchen as he sipped his wine. Eleonora stopped at the door, taking a deep breath as she gave herself one last look in the mirror hanging on the wall; her own, agitated eyes stared back, red lips curved up into a nervous smile. Oh, let this evening be normal. Just one normal dinner. Just one.

Eleonora opened the door, and a smile twitched at the corners of her lips as soon as her eyes set on Edoardo. The boy was wearing a white shirt that was in drastic contrast with his dark curls that were now almost falling onto his eyes. He started smiling when he saw Eleonora, his eyes lingering on the girls’ features for a few, extra long moments.

“Hi,” Edoardo said.

“Hi,” Eleonora echoed breathlessly, leaning against the door.

They stood there staring at each other like complete idiots for a few more seconds until Eleonora realized to awkwardly step back to let the boy actually enter the apartment. Edoardo looked thoughtful as he pulled off his leather jacket, hanging it on the wall before looking at Eleonora again. “You look good. The lipstick, it… Suits you. You look nice.”

Eleonora chuckled as Edoardo seemed to stumble over his own words, struggling to put them in an order that didn’t make him sound like a nervous child. Eleonora looked at Edoardo, stroking one runaway curl from his eyes. “You sound nervous, Incanti.”

The boy smiled, glancing towards the kitchen where Filippo was making a lot of noise perhaps to give the two of them a private moment. Edoardo leaned down to whisper: “It’s not everyday you meet your fake-girlfriend’s brother, now is it?”

The two of them shared a silent, meaningful laughter at the whole absurdity of the situation, and Edoardo couldn’t stop himself from staring at the girl. Fuck, she was beautiful. How had it taken him so long to realize how beautiful she was? Edoardo gaze turned to his hands when he felt Eleonora’s hand grasp his, and he followed without a word as she started leading him down the hallway towards the kitchen. They stopped at the doorway, and Filippo looked up from his phone when he heard the pair enter the room. He put down his phone and got up on his feet in an awkward attempt to greet Edoardo properly.

“Hi again,” Filippo said, his tone suggestive. Filippo Sava, the flirt. He offered his hand to Edoardo, and the pair shook hand as Edoardo attempted his best to seem proper.

“Filippo,” he said as he let his free hand fall back to his side. “It’s nice to meet you again. It seems that last time Eleonora seemed to be in too much of a hurry to actually let us have a chat.”

Eleonora rolled her eyes at Edoardo, making both of the boys smirk at each other - if there was something that was easy to do, that was getting Eleonora riled up, and they both had learned the art of it. Edoardo quite quickly, which Filippo admired. And though he clearly had learned how to get under his sister’s skin, there was also something about the way he looked at her; something completely bare, something so honest yet something so well concealed. They were a strange pair, but one that made a good fit, nevertheless. It felt good to know that Eleonora was with someone who looked at her with such intensity it nearly made everyone else want to look away as if not to interrupt their private moment. And that’s what Filippo did, suddenly feeling like he was imposing.

Eleonora broke the silence in the room. “So, what do you guys wanna drink?”

Filippo raised his wine glass to signal that he was good, but Edoardo shrugged. “Beer, if you have any.”

“Well, Edoardo, there’s not a single person in this household that drinks beer, but luckily I thought ahead!” Filippo said, gesturing towards the fridge where Eleonora found a six-pack of beer that he had bought hours before.

Eleonora offered the glass bottle to Edoardo as they sat down, but before Edoardo could have the chance to thank her, his eyes noticed something on the girl’s bare upper arm. It was a black tattoo of a spider, the design in such a dark contrast with Eleonora’s light skin that it felt silly that Edoardo was just now noticing it. “You’ve got a tattoo, Sava?”

Filippo looked like he could’ve just about choke on his wine as Edoardo tried to grab at Eleonora’s arm to examine the tattoo better. Eleonora was quick to yank her arm back, and she leaned back in her chair as both of the men were now staring at her with different looks on their faces. Filippo looked like an excited child who had just won a prize, Edoardo just purely confused, his eyes still slipping back to get a second look at the tattoo on Eleonora’s arm that she had now hidden behind her back.

Filippo grabbed his wine glass, turning his gaze to Edoardo. “Do tell him, Franky.”

“Franky?” Asked Edoardo, now even more confused as his eyes kept shooting between the two siblings sitting at the table with him. Eleonora was staring at Filo, and it was clear that they were having some sort of a wordless communication that Edoardo didn’t quite comprehend: Eleonora widened her eyes, her lips pursed together. Filo merely shrugged at her, smiling.

Eleonora huffed out all the oxygen in her lungs, forcing out the words: “It’s a stupid nickname. From my second name Francesca. Filo knows that I hate it.”

“She hates all the nicknames I give her, so I like to rotate them so she doesn’t get sick of them. Franky, annoying little rat, the less attractive Sava, Che Palle…” Filippo went on and on, and Eleonora felt mortified. She buried her face into her hands, shaking her head as Edoardo chuckled next to her.

Eleonora peeked at Edoardo, her cheeks heating up. “I have never heard half of those nicknames, I swear.”

“I never said that I call you by them to your face,” Filo interrupted, taking an extended sip from his wine glass.

Edoardo followed the sibling’s bickering with an entertained smile, sipping his beer as he let the two of them go at each other at full force. Eventually, as it seemed like Filippo was ready to stand down, Edoardo asked carefully: “So… The tattoo? What’s the story behind that?”

Eleonora glanced at her hands on the table before looking at Filippo, giving her brother her wordless consent for him to tell the story. Filippo’s entire demeanour seemed to change, and he propped himself up on the chair like an excited child as he peeled his long sleeve back a few centimetres to reveal an identical tattoo on his own forearm. “See, this was a few years back when our mom found his new boyfriend and decided to move to Lecce,” Filippo started, his voice tender as he talked of the clearly touchy subject.

“And Eleonora and I were pretty crushed, of course. She was never the greatest mother, but to up and leave-“ Filippo stopped himself, shaking his head. “Anyway. I saw how sad Eleonora was, and I did what I do best. I pulled out the vodka, and we got tipsy together. And after five shots we got the genius idea of getting matching tattoos to remind ourselves that no matter what happens, there’s always something permanent in our lives.”

Eleonora cringed, the entire sentiment seeming quite dumb years later. She could feel Edoardo’s eyes on her, but she didn’t return the gaze. Instead she kept eyeing the tattoo on her arm that she often tended to forget about, remembering it only whenever other people noticed it and would point it out in their curiosity.

“And you know, it obviously felt like the greatest idea after a half bottle of vodka,” Filo continued, rolling his eyes. “And we went to this nearby tattoo parlour, which was very shady to be honest. But the dude got the job done, even though Eleonora has the pain tolerance of a toddler and nearly started crying-“

“FILO!” Eleonora interrupted, laughing. She could hear Edoardo laughing as well, and the boy glanced at her with bright eyes.

“And!” Filo kept going, not giving any notice to his sister’s protests. “That night ended up with me holding up Franky’s hair in the bathroom as she swore that she’d never drink again,” he said, glancing at Eleonora with a grin, “How’d that work out for you, again?”

Eleonora’s eyes widened at the hint of another possible embarrassing story, and yet again she called out her brother’s name to stop him from spilling out more of their drunken adventures. The siblings were sharing yet another moment of wordless conversation that this time seemed to end in Eleonora’s victory, as Filo shrugged and turned his gaze on the slice of pizza on his plate.

“I swear we’re not related in any way. He’s adopted.” Eleonora joked, her expression pained.

Filippo shook his finger in Eleonora’s face. “Actually, little rat, I called mom and she said she can’t find your birth certificate. Oops.”

Edoardo couldn’t stop the laughter that escaped through his lips when he heard Filo’s words and how they affected Eleonora: the girl shook her head again and took a bite of her pizza clearly just to stop herself from saying something she would regret. Filo followed her with his eyes, his grin widening at the sight of his sister’s frustration. He took a sip of his wine and looked at Edoardo as he said: “Honestly, Edoardo, if I we’re you I’d run for the hills.”

“Because of you, he just might,” Eleonora muttered under her breath.

Edoardo shook his head, a genuine smile twitching at his lips. “No, I’ve had my share of crazy families. I feel right at home here.”

“We are a bit crazy, aren’t we?” Filippo asked, grinning at Eleonora. “But it’s all fun and games. After all, I do love this little rat.”

The rest of the dinner was fairly peaceful, aside from the occasional quips and bickers from either Eleonora and Filippo. They were a fairly entertaining pair, Edoardo had to admit to it. And after a few hours, more than a few glasses of wine and tons of laughter later the three of them were lounging in the living room couches, Filo seemingly half-asleep.

“Edoardo, are you staying the night?” Filo asked, his eyes still closed.

Edoardo glanced at Eleonora. “Uh, no. I’m driving home.”

“Ah,” answered Filo as he scrambled up from the soft couch. He ran his hand trough his platinum hair with a yawn, eyeing his bedroom door across the hallway. “Well then, I’m off to bed. Edoardo, it was nice meeting you and so on. You two be good.”

“Same to you,” Edoardo said with a genuine smile, and Filippo left the room. Eleonora and Edoardo stayed still and quiet until they heard Filippo’s bedroom closing with a quiet thud.

Eleonora slowly got up from the couch, then offered her hand to Edoardo. The boy stayed still, looking et Eleonora. “Where are we going?

“Just trust me.”

And Edoardo did. Eleonora led her out of the livingroom and into her room, but they didn’t stay there: instead she led him out of another door that was cracked open. It lead to a roof terrace so filled with plants Edoardo had to watch where he stepped to avoid stomping on any of them. The terrace was illuminated by fairy lights hung on the wall, on the plants, anywhere you could possibly hang them. The night air was warm, calming and quiet. Edoardo was used to living so close to the city centre that he was used to the constant, defeaning noise of Rome, day and night.

This was something else. It was like its own little world, closed off from anywhere else. “Are these all your plants?”

Eleonora leaned against the edge of the terrace, her eyes peeled on the city lights before them. “Yes. Some of them are Filo’s, but it’s me who takes care of them.”

Edoardo joined her on the edge, leaning against it. For a brief second he felt nostalgic. “You’re like my mom, then. She always piled up our houses full of plants. Everytime we moved, the plants came with us. They were like a lifeline to her.”

Eleonora smiled at the though of Edoardo’s mother, suddenly remembering the coffee mug that he had been drinking from at his eyes. The same, dark curls, the same smile. Of course. “Well, I have to meet her then.”

A silence so deafeningly loud fell between the two of them, that Eleonora knew that she had said something wrong. Edoardo gave no indication of it though, with his gaze locked on the horizon as his fingers tapped on the ledge. The rhythm was irregular, and after a minute the boy finally turned to look at Eleonora. “She, uh, passed away. Car accident.”

Eleonora could physically feel her lungs run out of air, she could feel her heart skipping what must’ve been at least five beats in a row. She looked away from Edoardo, closing her eyes. “Edo, I’m so sorry,” she whispered, forcing herself to look at the boy. “I had no idea. I’m so sorry.”

But Edoardo merely shook his head, almost smiling at the though of his mother. “Don’t worry about it. She was an amazing woman. She’d hate for us to remember her and be sad. Mom was always the life of any place she went, so I figured that’s something that should be remembered with joy rather than sadness, you know?”

It was a beautiful sentiment, it truly was. Eleonora nodded, her hand slowly brushing against Edoardo’s in the dark. “I get it. It’s nice.”

Edoardo’s hand grasped hers even though his eyes were still stuck on the view before them. His fingers started drawing patterns on Eleonora’s skin, making her shiver under his touch. Edoardo turned towards Eleonora, taking a deep breath as his eyes dropped to their joined hands - he looked almost like he wanted to get something off of his chest, but Eleonora was too nervous to look at him. Even when she could feel Edoardo’s gaze moving from their hands to her face, trying to catch her gaze with his own, she just couldn’t bring herself to look at him. Eleonora was burning. Fuck, she wanted to look at him.

And when finally did, Edoardo was there waiting for her, his gaze intense. He took a step closer, but Eleonora felt like she was frozen right where she was standing. Edoardo’s hand let go of Eleonora’s, but it moved up to brush a lock of hair from Eleonora’s face, but instead moving away he let it stay there, on her skin, burning her. And when Eleonora caught his eyes with her own, Edoardo leaned in closer, so close she could feel his cool breath tickling at her skin, making her heart race in her chest.

Edoardo’s other hand found its way on Eleonora’s waist, pulling her closer. They stood there, nearly intertwined, but too afraid of everything and anything to do anything even though Eleonora’s entire being was yearning to be closer. She was resisting every single cell in her own body, and when she finally pulled away from Edoardo, it was like tearing flesh.

“Dont,” she whispered, turning away. “It’ll just mess everything up.”

FRIDAY 13:30

After the night before, Eleonora had been actively avoiding Edoardo the entire school day. She had made sure not to cross paths with the boy, she had nearly skipped a class to avoid seeing him on the hallways. She had barricaded herself in the bathroom when she had seen Fede and Chicco approaching. Fuck, it was childish, and it wasn’t like Eleonora wanted to do it - she wanted to see Edoardo. She missed him already. She wanted to hear his laugh, he wanted to tell every single detail of her day to her. But she was terrified of last night and her own feelings. If there was something she would not be, it was another girl fallen for Edoardo Incanti’s charm.

But when Eleonora heard Edoardo’s voice echoing through the empty halls, his voice agitated, his words rough, Eleonora couldn’t stop herself from feeling worried. Why was he so upset?

It wasn’t until she peeked around the corner that she realized that the boy was conversing - or rather arguing - with Elena in one of the deserted hallways. Eleonora couldn’t stop the feeling of devastation that was quickly spreading acorss her chest, numbing her. Of course, what else had she thought? Elena was the reason that Edoardo and Eleonora were a thing, after all. It would’ve been silly to assume that the boy who would come up with a ploy this elaborate to rile up another girl would be over said girl. And even though the sight of Edoardo and Elena was like a stab straight through Eleonora’s lungs, she couldn’t help herself from listening on.

“You were the one who broke it up!” Edoardo hissed, his words sharper than knives.

Elena sighed dramatically. “What am I supposed to say? I made a mistake, Edo! People make mistakes! And I know that breaking up with you was a mistake. I realize it now.”

“You can’t do this to me again,” Edoardo said, pained. “You can’t mess with my head again. Not like this.”

“I’m not messing with anything, Edoardo! I love you.”

“What am I supposed to do? Wait for you like a little puppy dog on the off chance that you’ll leave your new boyfriend?”

“I am leaving him,” Elena said, but her small voice was unsure. “I am.”

“Whatever,” Edoardo said, groaning. Eleonora could hear his voice go quieter - he was walking away.

Eleonora felt like her heart had just about fallen out of her chest, but she couldn’t move. She was frozen, all her hopes and misguided beliefs about Edoardo suddenly shattered. Elena still had control over him, over them both - she would call, and Edoardo would answer. Fuck.

Eleonora pulled out her phone and searched Edoardo’s number from her recent contacts. She opened their WhatsApp conversation, her fingers hesitating on the keyboard. What the fuck was she supposed to say? Hey, you almost kissed me last night but today you’re basically ready to take back your ex-girlfriend, and I know this because I was listening on your private conversation? Ugh. Eleonora sighed, then figuring that it would be easier to give no context or explanation whatsoever - a sharp, clean cut.

Eleonora Sava I don’t think we should keep doing this.

Edoardo Incanti What do you mean?

Eleonora Sava This thing. We should just end it. I’ve got new friends, Elena is officially jealous. We’re good. I think we’re done.

Edoardo Incanti Ele, don’t do this. You can’t do this now. There’s still the pool party tomorrow, you’d promise you’d come.

Fuck. The pool party. Fucking hell, Eleonora had forgotten all about it. She hesitated on her message again, erasing it multiple times before finally writing:

Fine. But after that we tell everyone that it’s over.

[iwritethat]

Tim Drake: All Hallows’ Night

A/N: I’ve been waiting all year for this and love the Halloween story ideas and I hope you all do too.

🎃: Tim encounters a ghostly presence in the manner but it turns out you’re more than the folktales let on.

>>>>—————————>

Once upon a time, there was a mysterious ancient house. It was in the rumours, the city speculations and old wives tales that ghosts thrived in Wayne Manor. Of course, all that once lived there or continued to do so were no stranger to these mysteries although the current residents thought nothing of such folk lores as they had no proof to suggest otherwise and thus paid no attention to unusual tendencies.

That was at least until Timothy Drake had one eventful Halloween, one he would not soon forget. At first the odd occurrences weren't given a second thought, objects falling from shelves and peculiar echoes in the hallways were all a normal day to Tim, the single soul in the Manor at the time. That is until he returned to the Bat Computer, scrolling through the research he'd compiled linking to the newest case of underground dealings.

"Definitely a mobster, I'm thinking Penguin to be honest."

"Yes, it certainly matches his usual pattern." The vigilante replied without hesitation to whomever had commented on his case file despite being alone in the Manor that night.

"..."

"..."

It was an eery silence, one like no other, despite his focused state, Red Robin had realised the impossibility of having an unfamiliar voice answer the silence.

"Who the flip?!”

With his delayed startling, the stranger laughed, Tim scrambling to his feet only to find an unusual presence perched on the desk of the computer next to where he once sat.

"You're Tim Drake right?" Of course, the male was too bewildered to answer the unwelcome intruder, simply nodding whilst pointing his bo staff.

"I'm (Y/n) (L/n) by the way, thanks for asking."

"How did you get in here? The security systems are top of the range, they would've informed me of your access." He was astounded, tilting his head out of curiosity yet retained the offensive stance.

"Guess they're on the brink huh? No need to worry though mate, I mean you no harm~" The (h/c) beauty grinned with a wicked smile, offering out a hand for Tim to shake. The hero smiled in response, though still wary, met theirs in greeting - however instantly backed away upon doing so, their hands never met, instead his passed straight through (Y/n)'s own.

"Well then, I suppose you have your answer about security now." The entity smiled, hopping off of the counter and strolling towards him.

"What on earth are you?"

"Hmm, technically at this point in time I'm a ghost, wandering spirit? Although phantom has more finesse to it, wouldn't you agree?" The intruder brought a hand to their chin in thought before directing a smile toward him.

"I um, what?" Tim stared in confusion, closing his eyes as a break from the newest shreds of weird information.

"Oh no, you know what? Spectre has a nice ring to it too."

"No, I mean... wait, does that mean the stories are true? Wayne Manor is haunted? By you?" Tim was full of questions, just as expected by this latest phenomenon.

"For tonight it is, and for the unforeseeable future I'm afraid. Don't get me wrong, I had the full intention of keeping to myself but it's incredibly boring and this case seemed like a viable distraction." Was carefully explained, gesturing to the computer with a mischievous glint to their eyes much to Tim's fascination.

"Okay. Alright. Sure. For the sake of my sanity I'm not going to argue with a ghost... (Y/n)." Tim shook his head, once again sitting at his computer.

"Ah you're my favourite Robin already." Came the hearty response, the entity leaning on the back of Tim's chair as he scrolled through. They bounced ideas off of each other, methodology, motive, the next areas to strike and soon enough Tim was clad in his uniform readying to disappear into the night. The unlikely pair walked together towards the exit, planning a strategy on dealing with the Penguin and had the intent to carry it out - until Tim walked through the exit and the spirit clashed with an invincible force, curses spewing from their lips.

Red Robin was once again beside them, opting to offer physical comfort before he phased past them and had to settle for verbal inquiries.

"What happened? Is it some sort of barrier?"

"Damnit Constantine, tethering me to Wayne Manor of all places. Dumbass sorcerer..." It was only faint frustrated mutterings but explained your situation rather adequately.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"I haven't been completely honest with you, but in my defence you didn't ask. I'm verging between the spirit and living world and I'm relying on John bloody Constantine to pull me back from this purgatory. And since it's Halloween I'm guessing my spirit can manifest." The entity gave an exasperated sigh, rolling their eyes at the mention of their comrade.

"That's a lot to take in (Y/n), wheres Constantine now? I can go and lend my assistance, maybe I can -"

"No Tim, you have to help Gotham. You've known me no more than a couple of hours, you have more important matters to deal with." Despite their previous remarks it was obvious they had trust in Hellblazer and didn’t wish for their circumstance to interfere with Robins’ duties.

"Maybe so, but I'd like to think a couple of hours is enough to say you’re not so bad. I can't help but wonder what it'd be like meeting you in person." Tim wittily replied, raising a brow in their direction.

"Maybe one day, until then I'll stick to haunting."

"Hey RR, who are you talking to?" Dick Graysons voice rebounded off of the walls to the cave, Tim directing his gesture to his latest accomplice only to catch a glimpse of static where they'd once stood.

"Uh- no one..."

"Hah, for a second there I thought you were going to say a ghost. Anyway, I got an update on that case of yours."

-

(Y/n)'s presence lingered for a while after Halloween although it was not as strong as then, but there were the little quirks that Tim noticed around the Manor.

'Nice job solving the case detective~'

Was written on the dusty surface of the attic during one of his ventures, foggy windows also held innocent scrawling of which Tim happily replied to whether out loud or with his own scribbles.

Then there was the peculiar static on his TV if he ever watched it between 00:00-1:00am, one he'd grown to value.

"Hey Timbers.”

"Ah you're back, and still haunting the place I see." The male looked up from his laptop, crossing his legs and smiled at the TV.

"Yeah well Constantine is apparently taking his sweet time." The image of the spectre was slightly blurred and flicked every so often but remained viewable.

"He told me what you did to end up here y'know." He’d referred to the call he’d made a few days ago inquiring about the odd circumstance and if he could assist.

"He's lying." It was a confident and quick reply, (Y/n) unwilling to discuss such matters.

"About sacrificing yourself to bring them all back from Hell? Despite not being in the vigilante game?" Red Robin elaborated further, knowing a majority of the details beforehand.

"Yup, so hard to believe it must be a lie."

"Why did you-"

"Because they're my friends, they helped me out and I took on some damn demon curse to save them. Anyway, who are we looking into tonight partner?" With a brief smile, Tim flipped the computer screen in their direction as a visual response.

Tim also took to using the radio frequently whenever he was alone, making it easier for the  invisible resident to communicate with him.

"I miss food so much, it's rude of you to constantly eat in front of me you know."

"True but take out is just so amazing, I wanted to share the experience." He was being incredibly dramatic purely to get on his friends nerves though his playful side was rather endearing.

"I hate you right now." The guest replied, the radio crackling as a physical display of their words.

"Alright, alright, when you're back to normal I'm taking you out to dinner on me." Boy wonder instantly caved, but was truly sincere about his statement.

"Are you sure you can spare enough time to do that detective? Won't Gotham crumble without you?" The spectres sarcasm was heard even through the radio, and if he could see their expression Tim would bet they wore a smirk.

"I'll always take time out for you like I do now, but you have a point - I guess we'll have to take down some crime rings before dessert." It was accompanied by a shrug yet (Y/n) was grateful for his words none the less.

"Dinner and a show, I like it."

-

However it wasn't long before these daily instances Tim looked so forward to seemed nonexistent, the TV displayed the news without any interference, windows remained untouched of meaningful notes and the radio soon lost its appeal. Constantine was unreachable leaving Tim with no inclination as to what happened to the illusive guest and it seemed his family members noticed the sudden deterioration of his mood but chose not to pry quite yet.

It had been a week or two by his count, and he was currently packing for Titans Tower, shifting through his belongings and paperwork.

"Hey stranger, whatcha doing?" The voice held addictive familiarity, clearer to what it had been before, and due to this Tim answered like nothing had changed.

"I'm moving to Titans Tower, the Team thought it’d help our teamwork and I honestly can't wait."

"Hmm, when do you leave?" Their lovely tone held a hint of disappointment but was masked well for anyone but a detective.

"I'm aiming for this weekend, but don't worry I'll come back as often as I can to see you." He took a brief glance to the standing figure, lifting a box and walking straight through like he usually did purely to mess with them.

However, he hit a solid surface, the giggle following his actions causing him to almost drop his belongings but fortunaly the previously thought-to-be ghost stabled it with ease.

"Cool, I'll be able to visit you as well. But do you think you've got time for that dinner first? I'm starving after actually bypassing Manor security and climbing through your window." His realisation bringing a smug grin to (Y/n)’s lips as they finished.

“I- you- you’re back?”

“Yep, in the flesh although there’s some nice side effects... Nothing major though.”

“C’mon you’re telling me everything, the Manor is free tonight so how about take out and a movie?”

“Lead the way detective.”

Tim did so, however as the pair passed a hallway the former ghost halted before a beautiful oil painting and gently straightened the frame then turning to the questioning expression of Drake.

“Oh, it’s a half a centimetre off balance and it’s been winding up the ghost of the Manor for years. I promised to fix it once I returned.” (Y/n) nonchalantly explained, smirking as she passed an awestruck vigilante.

“...Ghost?”

“Who do you think told me about all your identities? Also, according to my recent conversation with the ghost, apparently you missed me Timbers~”

“Of course I did but how do you know that?!”

“Side effects, but don’t worry I missed you too.”

(Y/n) remained cursed for the rest of her mortal life, to become a spectre as the clock strikes, marking the Witching Hour for every Hallows' Eve to come until the festival was up.

~~~

"The End." You dramatically finished, accompanied by a spooky hand gesture for emphasis as you enjoyed the warm glow of the campfire.

The fellow hero's seated on surrounding logs remained silent for a few moments before cheering, thoroughly enthralled in the tale you bestowed upon them as per tradition of Halloween night.

"That's one hell of a story (Y/n), and basing the characters off of yourself and Tim was genius!" Cassie complimented, standing up with sheer delight as you smiled.

"Way to put a twist on a classic horror story telling, never would've thought of something like that." Conner nodded in approval, proudly smirking at the exchange of smiles between yourself and your boyfriend.

Tim sat beside you, nudging your shoulder out of the playful knowing you both shared and of course what came with the success of your tale. The chime of the cities bell tower echoed in the distance and with it you stood before your fellow hero's who had no intention of sleeping quite yet and wished them a good night. Tim followed your lead, gently brushing his fingers with yours as you strolled back to your room for the evening as the Team watched you both disappear into the eery night exchanging playful remarks.

But... if they had just looked a little closer....

Taken more notice...

Maybe they would have caught how Tim's digits effortlessly phased through your own as the witching hour had begun...

[hogwartsfirebolt]

This is the very best fic I have ever, ever read. I promise you that I am not kidding: A fic rec. 

Grounds for Divorce - @tepre - 122k - Explicit

Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter. A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.

In the 18 months I have been an active member of this community, I must have read no less than a thousand wonderful stories, many of which have touched me in ways I could never fully articulate. Whenever someone asked, I would recommend four, five fics, never able to pick just one as my favorite, I thought that, with so many stories out there, loving one above all others would surely be impossible. I was incredibly, deeply, beautifully wrong. 

Thoughts under read more

I struggle to think of a place to begin this rec, because there is no way any of my words can ever truly do this masterpiece justice. I suppose I could begin by telling you that this story is so damn brilliant in every single aspect that I can’t wrap my own head around how much I adore it with every piece of my silly little self, or that it is so careful in its execution that I didn’t even realize when exactly it was that I irremediably fell in love, or that I had never read a piece of fanwork that held such a deep understanding of itself, that there was little I could do but let myself be pulled right into the heart of it, of this. 

I was lucky enough to get to know it when it was still about 50k words long, and even then, when I sat down and read all of that, I knew that this was something incredibly special, and every single word that was added since then only made me feel even more sure that I was witnessing the birth of what is surely going to become a fandom classic. At least for me, it shifted my entire perception of the pairing, the fandom, the entire wizarding world. There is a before and after Grounds for Divorce for me.

Now, the concept in itself is simple. This is a bonding fic. You know the kind. Harry and Draco are nothing to each other after the war, and somehow find themselves literally on the brink of death unless they touch each other. That’s what it is. A bonding fic. But, oh dear, if you go into it expecting just THAT, it will literally knock you out. I’m not kidding. Just, poof, passed out on the floor, because despite using a pretty popular fandom trope as a base, that’s about the only thing that isn’t 100% unique to this story. 

This is the moment when I tell you that there are about seven years between chapter 1 and chapter 10. Yes, we get to see Harry and Draco from age 18 to 25 or so. That is the first thing that is notably different from any other bonding fic I have ever read, that they’re stuck together for literal years, and so they can’t stop living their lives while they are bonded, no, the show must go on. The second thing that makes this special are the mechanics of the bond itself, and how it’s a simple spell that makes them sick when they go a long time without touching each other, and when they do touch each other, it pushes for more more more in such desperate, delicious fashion that I clung to my seat when they were first learning how to deal with this desire. 

The third thing, the MAIN thing, the most BEAUTIFUL THING that makes this fic special is, of course, the characterization. Oh my GOD. How do I even put this to WORDS. There is just no way I can explain how fucking perfect everybody is in this. 

Harry is damaged from the war and doesn’t realize it, Harry has trouble connecting with people and doesn’t realize it, Harry is carrying a hell of a burden on his shoulders and doesn’t realize it. It’s beautiful how much I, as a reader, was able to pick on all these things when Harry himself has no idea that he’s dealing with them. He is angry, he hates being bonded to Draco at first, hates that he has to spend his days with him, and doesn’t even stop to consider that maybe things are different with Draco now, he closes himself up and chooses not to engage, and this, to me, felt like such an accurate depiction of who he is. After everything he went through, this is YET ANOTHER THING he has no control over. 

Draco is just lovely. It’s impossible not to love him. He is intense and he’s rambly and seriously annoying, but he’s also damaged, he’s careful with himself after everything that happened, and he genuinely does try to be better, and that is something that always makes me so weak in the knees for him, when he is truly just good and doing his best not to fuck up. 

Their interaction is difficult to describe, because it changes every moment the more they get to know each other. We begin with a lot of anger on Harry’s side, confusion and hurt on Draco’s side, and as they learn how to navigate the fact that they’re now bonded, the situation shifts. Draco tries to connect with Harry, Harry just wants to live his own life. Years and years and years pass, and they go through so much together, they learn to become friends by accident, they learn to care about each other, they shape their lives around each other without even realizing it. They’re married, for all intents and purposes, and dealing with it in very different ways. 

The massive amount of growth we see them go through in this is just indescribable. We start with them as boys, hold their hands as they become men. 

They hurt each other a lot. Harry hurts Draco for like five or six years straight, being dismissive and impenetrable. Draco hurts Harry later on. They grow together, they date other people, they watch each other date other people, always with this bond between them making things difficult, and it’s really, really messy. 

The love story, as we witness it, unfolds almost by accident, entirely underneath the surface, such a masterfully crafted slow burn, that by the time the characters themselves realize what’s happening, they’re elbows deep into it and it’s impossible to turn back. It’s beautiful, the intensity of the feelings simmering for years, the depth to their interactions, how meaningful the little things become, in time, how much Harry’s perception of Draco changes, how much this makes Harry change. 

The Harry we end up with is. Jesus. Fucking. Christ. He is. I CANNOT. The intensity with which I THIRSTED over him has no precedents. His single-minded intensity, his focus, his drive, his certainty, how he throws himself headfirst into things once he chooses to and doesn’t look back at all. He is just. Hot as all fuck. That’s it. There’s no other word to describe him. But to get here, to find this beautiful, intense, loving man, we have to go through so many layers of decades-old hurt and his struggles with being human that he’s not even aware of, and, really, this story is about forgiving Harry in so many levels, about finding that even though he saved the world, he’s just human and he has a fuckton of issues, and this deconstruction of the hero persona we find in him, in how he willingly sacrificed himself in the war but now has absolutely no clue how to be open and trust people is just. Delicious. And don’t even get me started on the physicality of him, and how in some parts he’s just sex on legs. 

The Draco we end up with is a man so honest and open in his love, a man who overthinks and rambles and is impossibly lovely, a man who goes through so much hurt and still always shows up for the people he loves. He is clever and beautiful and just absolutely wonderful, so loyal and caring that it aches. 

Watching these final versions of them love each other made me cry so, so many times. 

All of these words have just been an attempt to explain what they are, individually and together, but they are NOTHING. I can never truly explain what happens in those 122k words. It’s something you need to experience for yourself, and there’s so much MORE than this. 

There’s Ron, who is the loveliest human of all time, and there’s Hermione, who is still so loyal and fierce and wonderful, and there’s Draco’s friends and baby Rosie, eventually, and every single character was obviously created with so much care that they feel solid, real, even the original ones. 

The settings are vibrant, I felt like I was standing in the Malfoy townhouse all those evenings Harry and Draco sat together, I saw Harry’s garden come to life right in front of my eyes, I saw Egypt in stark clarity, once they went there, and actually, that entire section just feels like such an intense sensory immersion in every way, physical and emotional. When they finally have sex, I almost fucking burst out of my skin with the intensity, the depth of each touch, the pace of each scene. 

The writing is just beautiful, the kind of structure that reads smoothly and leaves you breathless and makes you feel everything that ever happens in the story, there’s quotes that sometimes literally made me have to stop reading to catch my breath, to regroup before being able to continue, because they were SO beautiful, SO spot on. Every single detail is styled to absolute perfection, not a single hair out of place. 

There is nothing like this story. Nothing. I have never felt so connected, I have never loved the characters so deeply, I have never reread anything as many times as I have reread this, I must have read it like 12 times at this point. 

It’s not just a fic, it’s an experience. I don’t know what else to say to convince you to allow yourself to go through it, because it is worth every single second. I could beg on my knees right now. It is my number one fic, the best I have ever encountered, and I think it might remain that way, always. 

Do yourself a favor and CLICK HERE. Give Tepre your love (all of it, SHE DESERVES ALL OF IT for creating this), allow yourself to feel everything this story has to offer, and once you’ve done that, come to me. I will never tire of this. (heh, reference). ❤️

[signoraviolettavalery]

strategist-scientia replied to your post “I know Carina is bringing Malex into the light and I am infinitely...”

Kinda scared now tbh because Carina said "Yes" when someone suggested that Michael is probably reminded of Jesse Manes's hand in causing the deaths of his people whenever he looks at Alex. ������

I hope it’s ok that I use your response as the jumping-off point for some meta, because I’ve been wanting to write this since i saw Carina’s tweets, and the inevitable Malex panicking that ensued. There’s a couple tweets about Michael’s headspace that she made that I want to get into, as I consider where Michael’s character will go next season and what that might mean for Malex. 

Now, my immediate response to this is: Yes?? Good?? Carina is saying Michael is going to have a character arc next season, and this is a good thing. Characters need arcs, and frankly, I’ve been frustrated that most of his “arc” this season has just been taking care of other people. Equally frankly, I’m glad that this will be the arc, because Michael is completely traumatized right now. He not only lost his family right after finding them, but he’s witnessed the genocide of his race. I’m glad the show is going to deal with that instead of sweep it under the rug. That’s what Michael s a character deserves. And I know it sucks to put queer characters through trauma and misery and suffering, because it seems like that’s the only thing they ever get to experience in narratives. But in a well-written story, you can’t shield your characters from the world and have nothing bad ever happen to them. There need to be low points in order for there to be development, as long as there are high points. 

The other tweet that people have been worrying about is this one, about how Michael will react to Alex and how their relationship will changed, based on the fact that Alex’s family is responsible for literally all of the suffering of Michael’s: 

This is where people start worrying that Malex will crash and burn, or that Michael will blame Alex for what happened even though it’s not actually Alex’s fault. 

So, first of all, I’m going to point out the obvious: it doesn’t sound like English is this person’s first language (which isn’t a dig at them, but just the observation that there may be a language/communication barrier here). Carina’s “yes” is vague af, and twitter is a really shitty medium to sort-of-but-not-really hint at character motivations and what’s coming. 

Moving on from that, my  thoughts are that Michael isn’t going to outright blame Alex - after all, Alex didn’t do anything. In fact, Alex has literally shut down project Shepard and blackmailed his father to protect Michael, and if Michael knows about project shepard he knows this. Logically, he understands this. But I do think that Michael will pull away from Alex - just as he’ll pull away from Max, Isobel, Maria, and even Liz. He’s going to need space, and he might get self-destructive in all his relationships, not just the one with Alex, because he’s going to blame himself for what happened. It’ll be difficult to watch, but I think that Alex, who himself has extensive experience sabotaging his own relationship as a result of fear and trauma, will understand where he’s coming from and try to help. 

I do also think Michael will have a hard time with Alex specifically. Again, it’s not that he’ll blame Alex, because he clearly didn’t blame Alex for his hand, if his desire to rekindle a relationship ten years later is any indication. But Alex will be a living, breathing reminder of the Manes legacy, which has taken literally everything from Michael, starting with his hand and ending with his family. It’s going to get complicated, because just last episode, Michael was telling Max that he believes that there’s no place for him here (on Earth) - something that Jesse made him believe, and something of which his hand serves as a reminder. And now he has even more proof, painful, heartrending, visceral proof, that there is no place for him on this planet, in the sense that humanity as a whole does not accept him for what he is. And the Manes legacy is largely responsible for this. 

But. The irony is that while the Manes family has destroyed his family, his life, his home, and his hope, Alex has been all of those things for him. Alex offered him a home when he had none. Alex told him “you’re my family.” Alex, as Michael said in 1x11, made him believe there’s is a place for him here on earth. Home can be a person, and Alex has been his. 

And I think Michael will realize that. If Liz can get over the fact that Max covered up her sister’s murder and was responsible for her family suffering hate crimes for ten years, then Michael can get over Alex having a legacy that he has completely and utterly rejected. But it will take time, because trauma isn’t rational, and because Alex did enlist in the military and become a “Manes man” before he ultimately chose Michael. So Michael will have to reconcile those two things - what Alex’s family took from him, and the fact that Alex himself gave back all those things to him. Honestly, I think it’s going to be the culmination of the arc that they’ve been planting the seeds of this season - that home can be a person. Michael Vlamis also hinted that Micheal probably won’t be deciding whether to leave the planet this season, so perhaps this will be a decision he’ll have to make next season. Alex will give him the spaceship piece and set him free, understanding that Michael has never felt like he belongs on Earth and that now he feels like he belongs even less, and that his family is responsible for it. And Michael will have to realize that despite Alex’s legacy, which he has outright rejected, Alex is his home. 

It’ll be a long journey, but I honestly think it’ll be fine in the end. Think of it this way: ships, just like characters, need arcs. I know we all say we’d happily watch an entire season of them just cuddling in bed, but come on. None of us actually would. We’d like an actual story. That’s why we tuned in. We want to see characters facing challenges and overcoming them. And yes, just like with queer characters, we don’t want queer pairings to just keep suffering endlessly. But we do want them to have actual, meaningful storylines. And what Carina is hinting at above sounds like an actual storyline. It’s Michael working through legitimate trauma instead of sweeping it under the rug, and Alex learning to live with the legacy of his family. If done well, this is a good storyline. The alternative is either no storyline, or contrived relationship drama, and no one wants that. Remember when, on The Vampire Diaries, Damon and Elena finally got together and the writers had to come up with a dozen reasons to break them up (the sire bond, Katherine possessing Elena, Damon temporarily dying and Elena erasing her memories of him and about a dozen other “plots’)? We really, really don’t want that. We want an actual arc. 

Of course, how much you believe Carina and the writers will do justice to this arc depends on how much you trust them to actually meaningfully write it, and that’s up to each viewer to decide on their own. Based on my own personal experience, I think it’ll be fine, because whatever the various flaws of season 1 of Roswell (and they definitely exist), the emotional beats have rung true to me. I understand why characters behave the way they do, their fears, their traumas, and their progress (with some exceptions). So, I think we’ll be fine. 

Part of the reason I’m so confident is because every other time we panicked because of a tweet, a promo, or a promo photo, we turned out to be pretty wrong to panic. Let’s recap: 

1x09 This is the OG throwback episode, and when Shiri leaked that photo of Michael and Maria naked in the desert, we panicked. We thought Michael and Maria would have a full-blown romance and Michael would leave behind Alex and forget about him, or that Maria would sleep with Michael while knowing about Alex, or any number of worst-case scenarios. 

What actually happened: Alex ended things, with finality. Previously, he’d walked away - and we’re led to believe he’s done this multiple times, which means that he’s also come back multiple times, because to walk away again, he had to come back first. But now, for the first time ever in ten years, probably, he said “we’re definitely over.” The love of Michael’s life broke his fucking heart by making him believe they could never have a future together, and Michael’s response was literal suicidal ideation. That line about “I’m just wishing a meteor would strike me down and end my suffering”? That’s suicidal ideation, y’all. 

So yeah, he hooked up with Maria because he needed comfort and a connection with someone - but one that he was 100% certain wouldn’t get romantically complicated and messy. He picked Maria because he had a connection with her but thought there wasn’t a chance in the world that she’d catch feelings. 

And then Alex came back to him and he took him back and bared his fucking soul and revealed every single one of his deepest secrets. 

1x11 This was the UFO emporium re-opening episode, and everybody panicked that Michael and Maria would talk and kiss and/or hook up in the place of Malex’s first kiss. Come on, guys. Like, I get panic, but this was a bit much. 

What happened instead: Michael misses Maria, who was pretty much his only friend, and tries to get back onto the same page they were (flirty banter that meant nothing), but which is pretty hard to do once you’ve slept together. Michael believes he and Alex are completely over, and....he skips the Emporium reopening (probably because it’s too painful). Then, Maria, the person he pretty much considers his only friend, gets roofied and possessed by an alien serial killer. So yeah, he’s concerned, and he watches over her, because Michael Guerin is, at heart, a protector who takes care of people, and frankly, if he wasn’t worried about Maria, I’d like him slightly less as a person. Maria drunkenly indicates potential feelings for him, which he shows absolutely no indication of actually reciprocating (he looks concerned and frustrated at best). 

1x12 We all thought Malex was going to break up in this episode, despite the fact that they were already broken up and Michael thought they were “over.” We knew there was a tear-inducing Malex moment and we listened to Tyler’s song and I saw no end of posts going around saying Malex was going to break up. 

What happened instead: Alex confessed his love for Michael, called Michael family, stayed by him in the face of literal certain death, and physically and emotionally supported him during a moment of devastating heartbreak. 

So yes, I get the worry. I especially get the worry because apparently The Magicians fucked over their queer viewers just last night. Believe me, I understand, and I’m not a person to have faith easily. I’ve been through Supernatural fandom and the great Destiel queerbait that was season 8. I’ve been through Sherlock fandom and The Johnlock Conspiracy of seasons 3/4. I am intimately familiar with the nonsense shows pull on queer viewers, and I understand the context in which queer viewers are wary of trusting and investing emotionally. I’m a queer viewer as well, and I get it. I really do. But my personal experience of Roswell has been one of the fandom panicking (because we’ve been burned so many times), followed by us getting literal fanfiction on our screens, with actual love confessions and words like “cosmic” and all the tropes. So in this particular case, I choose to trust, because thus far, I think the show has done well by Malex for the most part, and because so far, almost all of our worries have turned out to be for nothing. And I’m also excited for Malex to have meaningful storylines and things to work through. 

That’s my two cents. Thanks for letting me ramble. Feel free to reblog if you think we could stand to spread some positivity. 

[ngame989]

S4 So Far: Fucking Why? A take on the use of emotions and romance as a character development/narrative device compared to past seasons

OK so I literally only slept 3 hours last night after watching the eps, and it was a shitty 3 hours, so apologies if anything is jumbled or incoherent. This post is about why Season 4 as a whole (at least with the character relationships overall, not just romance and not just Starco) feels to me like such a gigantic and unnecessary fundamental writing/focus shift compared to past seasons (especially 1 and 2, but also 3).

Curse was... obviously just a slap in the face, a full descent into “will-they-won’t-they” for no purpose other than dragging it out, since it CONFIRMED that Star and Marco have true mutual love for each other and basically directly stated to the audience in the dance that, no, this isn’t because of the curse, it’s genuine, but decided more love polyhedra and suspense and drama were needed. NOTE THAT I FULLY ADMIT AND ACKNOWLEDGE THAT THEIR FEELINGS ARE REAL, THEIR DANCE HIGHLY AFFECTED ME, AND IT WAS A VERY STRONG EMOTIONAL MOMENT. I’m not trying to imply that it meant absolutely nothing, not at all, I’m more talking about its purpose in the narrative than the emotions it contained as an isolated scene when I say “it had no purpose other than to drag things out.” Not sure exactly where we go from here, but I know Starco’s still endgame, and I also know that the route there is gonna be at least some level of disappointment to me. No way around that, but I think it’s worth looking at the rest of the season to dig into what just feels different in a bad way, because it’s really not just Curse. I feel like half the fandom is freaking out simply over just the fact that they claimed they didn’t feel anything anymore, and worrying about the suspense and drama over whether Starco would still happen at all, but that reaction is the goal of will-they-won’t-they, it’s why it works and why so few stories bother going beyond it, and I hate that. The point I want to tackle and criticize isn’t “I’m worried Starco won’t happen!” but rather a look at the overall handling of characters and relationships in the show narratively.

Let’s start with a look back on earlier seasons. I should hope that anyone could agree watching the first 2 seasons that Star and Marco’s relationship was very strongly built on a foundation of emotional intimacy, honesty, supporting each other and understanding each other, etc. Even if you’re not a Starco shipper, even if you’re anti-Starco as a couple and see them as entirely platonic, this much at least should hopefully be agreeable to everyone, because it’s like 80% of what the show contained until the middle of S2 actually got some plot going. Once we get into season 3, it becomes a lot more contentious among the fans, but there’s still a lot of this same stuff. Yes, Star and Marco spend less screentime together, but the majority of moments they share feel special, and have a strong emotional core with moments between them. Toffee, Lint Catcher, Sweet Dreams (sort of), Night Life, Deep Dive, Marco Jr., Booth Buddies, Divide/Conquer - every single one of these had a clear focus on why Star and Marco’s relationship, specifically, was important and special to them, and what made them work so well as a pair. Not just “they go on an adventure together to accomplish a goal.” Granted, not EVERY single episode in any season was like this, all three of the past seasons did have episodes that were just the basic adventure, but this was still an overall important part of the pacing of the show even if not omnipresent. And yes, absolutely, other characters had meaningful emotional moments and bonds with each other as well. Bonbon provided payoff on a genuine emotional honesty that Marco had been building up with Jackie in Sleepover and Naysaya, not just romance for romance’s sake but feeling like it had a purpose, it made total sense why Marco and Jackie had feelings for each other and why they did to some extent work together. Demoncism for Tom and Star was another such moment, capitalizing in some part on Star’s heartbreak, yes, but still serving as a turning point with a genuine purpose to both their characters as they tried to take steps forward as people first, and they bonded over that. Similarly, Is Another Mystery built off of Monster Bash for Tomstar and specifically Tom’s issues with caring about others. Things flowed as a whole across the season, even if not in a way that involved Star and Marco constantly on screen together.

Now let’s look at S4 as a whole thus far. As far as Starco is concerned... what moments like this have we had? When has their relationship been clearly special to them as a normal part of their day to day lives and not just in some epic WOW moment? I guess the end of Follies, and the hug in Ransomgram if you squint just a little bit, but even then, the actual emotional core of that episode really didn’t have anything to do with Star and Marco’s relationship with each other specifically. All their other episodes are just very basic “Star and Marco perform an activity for some episodic plot purpose” with no heart or soul put into their dynamic itself. Then we get to Curse, where apparently Marco’s feelings for Star are so strong that he’s constantly beside himself with emotion over them, and Star’s for Marco obvious enough that even dense as fuck Tom knows. In any past season, these things would’ve been firmly built up over the course of meaningful Star and Marco moments across a handful of segments leading up to it, so... why not now? We had a single tangential reference to it on Star’s end in Lake House Fever, and Marco saying how hard it’s been in Kelly’s World immediately beforehand, and that’s it. Not to mention that Marco apparently has budding feelings for Kelly (despite not having had any meaningful emotional moments with her Lava Lake Beach, a full season ago), after only one episode in Season 4. Bonbon had Sleepover and Naysaya for Jarco, Demoncism had Club Snubbed for Tomstar, what did Kelly’s World have? To me, right now, it feels like emotions/romance in teen relationships in the show 180′d overnight from a genuine part of their day to day lives and interactions that ebb and flow naturally and subtly to “le epic shipping drama with blushes and handholding to get people’s feely-weely uwuing to the max and ready to tune in for more,” and this feels like a HUGE departure from the storytelling method of literally everything before Season 4.

EDIT: Let’s not ignore Curse itself either, though. The idea of destiny vs free will, and Star and Marco choosing to be with each other on their own terms entirely is cool on paper. Issue is, LITERALLY NOTHING IN THE SHOW UP TO THIS POINT HAS GIVEN OFF THE IDEA THAT IT’S MAGICALLY FORCED. Many fans postulated it, but the show never brought it up as a problem to be handled later, and put explicit care into all their developments being entirely natural. The “Blood Moon Curse” was a problem with very little buildup in the narrative, created specifically to start an arc that as an isolated thing seems fine, but ends up just fucking with what they’d already developed and delays the outcome more and more.

Maybe, best case scenario, all of this is just kind of wonky pacing for no clear reason, the show is known to fuck that up even at its best, but the overall progression will still be kind of fine. Maybe we fairly quickly enter an arc where they try to live their new lives, free of feelings, and they allow themselves to get closer to each other without reservation because they think the feelings are gone and begin to find genuine joy and happiness in their relationship (as a result of the love which is still there, but the placebo effect that they think it’s gone makes them open themselves up to it after seasons of trying to hide from it). Maybe this results in Kellco not really going anywhere, with like one episode of them trying to make it work and failing because Marco’s heart still isn’t in it, and Tomstar also breaking up because they both finally accept that even the Blood Moon going away didn’t change anything, and we’re still set for a Big Moment somewhere around Cornonation-Beach Day to be Star and Marco fully accepting and recognizing their love, on their own terms, with every bit of denial and every obstacle behind them, giving us at the VERY least a handful of segments before the end to showcase some day-to-day canon Starco, show why it works for them and why it makes them so happy, and to show Tom (and Kelly too, maybe?) being OK with the situation and finding fulfillment in it themselves. Then the series finale could be the final push for Starco, from “our feelings are real and we want to pursue them without any doubts” to “I want to spend the rest of my life with you”. I’d still overall call this a lot of unnecessary drama and dragging, and still highly question everything about these first 8 episodes that I did, but I can’t deny there IS a symbolic/narrative benefit for Curse here. It could serve as an important milestone where Star and Marco finally put the heartbreak and hurt their feelings cause behind them once and for all, which is sort of what a lot of people thought it would be anyway, and if things still move forward quickly as part of an arc then it would still perhaps accomplish something meaningful and not just dragging for drama.

Or maybe the rest of the season will largely follow the pattern of what we’ve had thus far, with everything through Cornonation being almost devoid of anything special in relationships, just showing characters interacting normally without any real developments, Star and Marco spending time together and Tomstar and Kellco being almost entirely background, with maybe one segment apiece just for fun. Then Beach Day could be a Big Ship™ episode that compresses all the lack of emotion into one giant over-the-top romantic episode where they finally start realizing “huh after the last 8 episodes of our normal friendship, guess we do actually still maybe feel something special after all” and then the breakup(s) happen afterwards as a result of “welp guess it won’t work, it’s been fun” with the series finale being when Star and Marco finally get to say “YES AFTER ALL THIS I NOW REALIZE I LOVE YOU” and kissing once and that’s the end of the show. Which still would be satisfying if for NO other reason than the first 3 seasons lingering in my mind, I still will almost certainly love Starco as a whole no matter what. But holy mother of fuck this would be the dumbest shit ever, a complete reversal on how they’ve always handled everything, for seemingly no other purpose than because they wrote themselves into a corner where they wanted to force Starco to only be series finale, but they also made it so strong in the first 3 seasons that its natural progression would make it canon before then so they had to fuck with it, and would make me almost regret being anything more than a casual appreciator of the show.

So all in all I’m still, for the time being, at least willing to see where it goes I guess, because Star and Marco are still firmly embedded in my heart even if the show’s handling of them in this final stretch turns out to disappoint me in almost every way imaginable. Unless things TRULY go to shit, I have some plans for some fanworks post-canon that will, if nothing else, help me and maybe some of you make peace with the potential the show will likely waste in rising above romcom drama to portray Starco actually blossoming into a fully happy and healthy canon romantic relationship to rule them all. But I will almost definitely not be staying up into the morning watching and freaking out about episodes, if the show is going to appeal to the lowest common denominator of casual romance drama, I suppose I need to become a casual viewer to compensate.

[sarcastic-sunshines]

ABIONA AU - Before Abiona Interlude Part 5: Alixzilla

Pairing: T’ Challa x Black!Reader

Warning(s): None

Word Count:  3764

Link to ABIONA by @writingmarvellousimagines

Link to Face claims (2)

Part: (1) (2) (3) (I1) (I2) (4) (I3) (I4) (5) (6)

Alixzilla

At 8 months pregnant, Alix was almost done and was finally getting closer to meeting her baby. She began to see the finish line to this gestation period. A little piece of her was going to miss knowing that her baby was safely nestled within her, but a larger part was ready to give this baby it’s eviction notice to get out. Alix’s attitude presently resembled an angry and inconsiderate landlord.  Unfortunately, T’Challa was forced to face the brunt of Alix’s ever changing mood swings and demands. It was beginning to feel like a lot for the young King who had made it his mission to keep his promise of being there during these trying times for Alix. It began with the bed.

As quickly as Alix had allowed T’Challa into her bed, she had kicked him out again. Her body had begun to heat up at an exponential rate added to the struggle of finding a suitable position to sleep in.  On a particular night, Alix had been stirring in and out of sleep for most of the night. She turned to look at the illuminated clock that showed 3AM.  She turned to look at T’Challa who was happily sleeping and though she knew he hated it she furiously tapped him awake.

 “T’Challa.” The king groaned and turned to face away from his lover.

 “Alix, please, no food tonight. Tell baby to wait until morning.” Alix rolled her eyes before tapping him again.

“No, T’Challa, this isn’t about food, I need you to go and sleep in the guest room.” The drowsy King sobered up and turned to face Alix with confusion and a little hurt in his face. He began to ask Bast how in the middle of the night their nightly routine had gone sour. He had taken every kick and every blanket hogging with little to no complaints. What else did this woman want?

“Oh my Bast! Alix,why?”

“Because you keep trying to cuddle and I am so hot. This baby has also decided to steal my ability to regulate my own body temperature. My back hurts and I can’t get comfortable. I need to sprawl out and I can’t do that with you here,” she finished as T’challa turned on his back to look up to Bast for patience and guidance. “I promise it has nothing to do with you or us. It is more of a comfort issue.” She waited 5 seconds to see if he would move. “T’Challa, go! Please!” He quickly got up grabbing his shirt and heading for the door. 

“Okay! I am going Alix. See you in the morning.” 

Though Alix returned to T’Challa  an hour later with an inconsolable craving for onion rings and crême brûlée. Which meant he had two stops at opposite ends of the city.  He just kept repeating his new mantra. 

‘It is for her AND the baby. Just one more month. 

It is for her AND the baby. Just one more month.’ 

He could get through this final month. And he couldn’t be annoyed with her for long. Even as the bother she was being, he still thought she was the most beautiful person he had ever laid his eyes on. A few cravings and a cold bed would not move him. However, Alix’s behaviour did not stop there. 

After T’Challa and Jules had spent a whole day painting the nursery a violet colour that Alix had picked months ago, she changed her mind and decided she would prefer a more lilac purple and it had to be changed. She couldn’t stand to look at the violet for a second longer. Still, T’Challa did not complain, especially since Jules was doing enough complaining for the both of them.

“Sis, that isn’t even fair and you know it! T and I have been painting for the whole day. You didn’t even bring us a cup of water for our hard work. You didn’t even paint a thing!” Alix simply rolled her eyes and left the two to get ready to go back to the hardware store.

“Jules, she is pregnant. The paint fumes aren’t good for the baby.”

“That doesn’t explain her attitude though.” T’Challa closed his eyes, feeling the lack of sleep starting to wear on him. He simply grabbed the sample of the colour Alix had chosen and patted Jules’ shoulder in comfort as they headed to the door. 

“Don’t worry, Jules, I will make sure to buy you whatever type of water you would like. Let’s go. Tomorrow will also be a long day”.

Jules was right. Thank yous were becoming less common from Alix. She barely tolerated T’Challa touching her for too long, that included talking to the baby. Her complaints of heat kept him at arms length. It also kept the apartment cold despite it being January. But all of it kept Alix calm so T’Challa shivered quietly as he and Jules built the furniture for the nursery. 

“ T, it’s cold outside, why is the heat not on ?”

“Because your sister says she is overheating so the house has to be cool so her and the baby aren’t too hot.” Jules scoffed.

“I know you don’t really believe that ‘baby’ line. T, you need to get your woman, Alix is actually starting to get on my nerves. We repainted this room and she still didn’t even say thank you. She ordered all this furniture that had to have the instructions only in Swedish which is the only language neither of you know and has us building it in sub zero conditions.” T’Challa laughed at Jules’s dramatics, though, he sensed the truth in his words. He paused from his furniture building to sit.

“I know she has become more...demanding and it is harder on us. If any body knows, it is me. But we must remember, she is in a very vulnerable point in her pregnancy and so we must be kind to her and practise more patience. And I do understand Swedish, however I struggle to read it.” Jules stared at T’Challa, unmoved by his speech.

“She isn’t here, T’Challa, you don’t have to make up all those things you normally do to have her swooning. You aren’t even allowed in the same bed as her. Again. Aren’t you tired? Besides, I’m not the one who knocked her up. I’m just here because if she tells Maman I didn’t come I will be in bigger trouble. You, on the other hand, are the poor sucker who refused to focus on the project and left Uganda only to discover he gained a baby mama instead. “ T’Challa frowned

“Thank you, Jules, for the breakdown of my recent adventures. It was not as depressing as you made it to sound.”

“I don’t know, man, you handled this transition way too smoothly. How do I know you don’t do this every time you leave Wakanda? How many baby mama’s do you actually have? Don’t worry I won’t tell Alix.” T’Challa looked at Jules with annoyance and disbelief.

“Let us begin by clarifying that I would not trust you to clip my large toe. Secondly, Alixandre is the only woman in this world who I have a child with and plan to have children with.”

“That we know of.” T’Challa groaned.

“No, she is the only one. End of discussion!” Jules frowned at T’Challa’s seriousness.

“Well, that might be true, but what I know there is no way the crowned Prince of Wakanda did not use his travels as a way to sow his royal oats.” T’Challa smiled slyly.

“I do not think your sister would appreciate us having this discussion. Plus, I only have eyes for her now.” Jules shook his head.

“T’Challa, isn’t Alix taking another nap? It’s okay bro, we can speak freely.” T’Challa rolled his eyes before looking at the door, knowing Alix would not be coming in anytime soon. So he allowed himself to indulge in Jules’ curiosity.

“Alright, Julianus, what would you like to know?”

“Yes! What city has given you the wildest night?”

“Rio de Janeiro. I was 22 and was supposed to be helping my father prep for a meeting with the Brazilian President. I had one free day before we were supposed to go back to Wakanda. The things I saw and did cannot be shared but only experienced.” T’Challa shared a meaningful look with Jules.

“Alright, Rio added to the travel list. Which country has the most beautiful women?” 

“Call me biased but Wakanda. The beauty at home is in a lane of its own.”

“Really?! So why are you here instead of indulging?” Both men jumped at the sound of Alix’s voice.

“Entle I see you are up. How was your rest,” T’Challa asked nervously unaware of how much of the conversation she had heard.

“No, don’t bother asking me anything. Please, go back to your conversation about, how did he put it? Sowing your royal oats.” T’Challa sighed after realizing how much she had heard. 

“Alix, chill, we were just taking a break. We have been working all day and you haven’t even offered us a single drink for our hard work. This baby better hurry up and come.”

“Well, maybe if you weren’t talking so much, you would be done and you can use your two legs to go to the kitchen and get yourself a drink. I am heavily pregnant, Jules, I cannot be catering to you.” Jules rolled his eyes.

“Then, why are you in here bothering our bonding time,” Jules retorted .

“Because, T’Challa, my feet hurt.Can you please give them a massage before you and Jules go back to ‘bonding’?” 

“Of course, entle I will be right there.” Alix waddled away content to see two important men in her life getting along, despite the topic of their conversation. T’Challa put down his tools to tend to Alix’s aching feet. Jules began to mockingly sing the chorus of Usher’s ‘Caught Up’. T’Challa turned back to glare at Jules. Before he could rebuttal, Alix screamed his name. T’Challa turned to leave the newly painted room to join Alix on the couch as Jules barked with laughter.

After an  intense day, T’Challa was happy to be able to finally go to bed. This night he was actually dreaming of himself and what he could only assume to be his baby in Wakanda, looking over the grassy horizon with the Golden City in the background, only for a strong wind that sounded like Alix calling his name to disturb the time with his child.

T’Challa opened his eyes to find Alix standing over him shaking his shoulder furiously. He turned to look at the clock and was upset to see it read 3:30AM. He turned back to look at Alix who looked more upset than he who was woken up.

“I have been shaking you for about five minutes.” T’Challa rubbed his eyes

“Well, you should have stopped after the first minute. I was dreaming, you know?”

“About what? One of the Brazilian beauties you were reminiscing about with Jules.” 

T’Challa stretched. “Alix, you know we were just talking and that is the past. I truly only have eyes for you.” Alix ignored his comment completely.

“Anyways, I am really craving McDonald’s fries and a milkshake.”

“And what is the baby craving?” Alix squinted at him.

“Who knew your comedic streak started so early in the morning.”

“It wouldn’t if you let me sleep,” he ended before leaving her to go to the McDonald’s.

T’Challa came back to the apartment to find Alix sitting on the couch, enjoying an ice cream cone.

“You took some time. I was getting worried”

“Apparently, you are not the only one in the area with cravings. Here you go,” T’Challa said placing the bag and drink on the table in front of her as he took off his jacket. Alix made no move towards the bag. He stared at her curiously.

“What is it?”

“I don’t really want it anymore,” she said casually.

“Alix, I know you are kidding right,” T’Challa said growing frustrated.

“I am serious. I had a craving and now it is gone. Between you struggling to wake up and you taking forever at the McDonald’s, it make sense. The ice cream filled the void.”

“So you are trying to say that it is my fault?” T’Challa tried to calm down, but he was sure this was the final straw. “Alix, you have been nothing but a brat! Normally, I don’t mind appeasing you but you have gone too far! You kicked me out of the bed. I said nothing. You had Jules and I repaint the whole room without even a thank you or any form of appreciation, yet I still defended your actions and said nothing. You have been rude to me and won’t let me touch you. I barely get to talk to my child anymore! I still said nothing at all because I want you to be comfortable.  I want you to know how much I appreciate you and your sacrifice to bring this child into the world, but you have woken me up almost every night for two weeks for crazy cravings that I am not even sure are because of the baby anymore. Not only did you do it today, you, again, did not say thank you and won’t eat what you had to wake me up for. You know I hate being woken up and I have allowed you to do it. You are taking advantage of my kindness and it is not fair anymore!” With that he stormed off slamming the door behind him.

Alix jumped at the sound of the door. She really did think that T’Challa was overreacting but knew he would be fine by morning. 

Morning came, and T’Challa did not come out of his study. Or if he did come out it was when Alix was in her room. She was beginning to get worried. She waddled to the study and knocked. When she got no answer, she let herself in.

“T’Challa, I wasn’t sure if you were alive. I haven’t seen you all day.” 

He dryly replied looking directly at the holograms he had projecting from his kimoyo beads.  “I have been busy with work.”

Alix stood at the door awkwardly. Normally, he would have invited her into his lap to kiss her and the baby.

“Oh okay. Did you end up having a good night's sleep?” T’Challa scoffed still avoiding Alix’s eyes.

“I got as much sleep as I was allowed to with an early wake up call”.

Alix continued to stand not sure how to move the conversation. T’Challa finally turned to face Alix.

“Is there something you need from me?” Alix was shocked with how cold he was being with her.

“Um, no. I was just wondering how you were, babe. Do you want to maybe watch some tv? There is a Real Housewives of Orange County marathon today.” He turned back to his work.

“No, thank you. I have a lot of work to complete. I would rather be left alone, please.” Alix accepted defeat and closed the door. She went to the nursery and continued to put away things for the baby when she heard Jules enter the apartment and go to the refrigerator. She went to the kitchen to meet him drinking the milkshake and eating the fries she sent T’Challa to get last night. 

“What’s up? Where’s T?”

“He is in his study. Those were mine by the way.”

“Why do you care? It wasn’t like you were going to eat it.” Alix looked at Jules sure he knew something that she didn’t. “Oh yeah, I know about last night. T’Challa basically word vomited the whole story this morning when he called me. I told you that being the Wicked Witch of the West was not going to get you far. Now, you pushed the most patient man to the wall. Just sad. I am disappointed in your actions, Alixandre.” Alix rolled her eyes though she knew that Jules was right.

“I get it, I have been a bit of diva.”

Jules held his ear. “I am sorry? Did you say a bit? I think you meant a large one. I bet you didn’t even apologize in true Alix fashion,”he said as he took a sip of the milkshake. 

“Jules, what are you doing here anyway?” 

“Well, if you must know, your man decided you were cramping his style and he needed a break from you and your pregnancy hormones. So he got some last minute tickets the PSG vs Juventus match and invited David and yours truly.” Just as he finished explaining, T’Challa entered the kitchen.

“Hey T, you ready?”

“Yes, just let me grab my jacket.” Alix watched as they got ready to leave without her. T’Challa hated going anywhere. She had literally driven him from his comfort spot. 

“Babe, you didn’t tell me you were going anywhere... I thought you said you had a lot of work to do?”

“It must have slipped my mind,” he said while sending a message to David.

“When will you be back? Do you want dinner or-”

“I am probably going to eat out. Do not wait for me. I will see you later,” he said, kissing her cheek before leaving the apartment. Jules left after shaking his head at his sister and throwing up a peace sign leaving her standing the kitchen by herself.

Alix allowed the rest of the day to pass feeling bored and missing T’Challa. Even her dinnertime seem bland without him. He only came after 11PM when she was in her bed. He briefly opened the door to check if she was sleeping but left right after. 

Alix turned to look at the clock which let her know it was 4:15AM. She herself was getting tired of these cravings, but she knew there was no way her child would let her sleep without eating so she got up and decided it was time to make pancakes. She tried to be quiet, to not wake T’Challa, but the pots had plans of their own. 

T’Challa heard the banging of pots and the opening of the fridge. He stayed in bed,  still hoping it would end, but it continued. He sighed and got up and walked to the edge of the kitchen and watched Alix try to move quickly around the kitchen. He smiled to himself totally enamoured with how beautiful she was even in her pyjamas and bonnet. She reached for a mixing bowl a few inches above her, he came up behind her. He put his hand around her waist and grabbed the bowl for her. Alix leaned into T’Challa’s shirtless stomach as he passed her the bowl without saying anything. She always felt at home engulfed by his warmth. She turned to smile at him. T’Challa returned the gesture with a kiss to her cheek and her shoulder. Slowly, they began to mix the ingredients in a comfortable silence. T’Challa turned on the stove as Alix passed him the mixed batter.

“Why didn’t you wake me up?” Alix went to sit on the bar stool.

“Because you seemed annoyed with me the whole day and so I didn’t want to annoy you further with another wake up. They have been a bit outrageous, haven’t they? I am sorry about that. I have definitely been taking advantage of your kindness. Jules was right. I have definitely been a bit of a diva.”

“I am sorry? Did you say a bit,” he said mockingly with a smile.

“Well guess who isn’t allowed to hang around Jules anymore.” T’Challa flipped the pancake before coming over to Alix and kissed her hand.

“I am kidding, but you were definitely more than a bit of a diva.”

“And I said I was sorry, didn’t I,” she said snatching her hand back.

“Yes, you did. I know it is hard for you to apologize so I forgive you,” T’Challa said before turning back to the pancakes. They returned to a comfortable silence with Alix eventually getting up from her spot to wrap her hands around T’Challa’s middle as best as her bump would allow her to. T’Challa put his hands over hers, happy for the intimacy. 

Alix grabbed the syrup from the fridge with some strawberries. T’Challa moved their plates to the couch. They ate in silence, feeding each other despite eating the exact same thing. Alix finally broke the silence. 

“What was your dream about?”

“What dream? The one from last night?” Alix nodded before taking another bite.

“Well, I was in Wakanda-“

“With all the beauties that are in a lane of their own?” Alix giggled as T’Challa groaned.

“Do you want to hear about it or not?” She silenced her giggles so he could continue. 

“As I was saying. I was in Wakanda and I was holding a baby. We were looking at the Wakandan horizon. Alix, it was so beautiful. I cannot wait to show it to you one day. We were just enjoying each others company.” Alix smiled at T’Challa as he remembered his dream. “Anyways, the baby was a little girl. She looked just like you ,entle.” 

“So are you telling me the baby is going to be a girl?”

“Maybe so. It doesn’t matter, either way, I will love them” He put his plate down and lifted Alix’s shirt and began to kiss her bump. Alix began to giggle.

“I want them to have your calm personality and your kindness.” 

“I am shocked you do not want a stubborn baby,” he said as he held her bump while she caressed his hair

“Ha ha. Very funny. No, I want them to be patient and caring like their Baba.”

“I want them to be as independent and confident as their Mama.” He leaned up to kiss her.       “T’Challa, I probably should have said this a while ago, but I am so glad you are doing this with me. I wouldn’t imagine doing any of this with anyone else. I know you feel the same but you deserved to know as well.” 

T’Challa’s heart had past its capacity of love, yet Alix continue to increase its limits. As he led her back to bed to sleep through what was left of the night, he thanked Bast for his patience. It allowed for him to experience this phenomenal woman, who continued to steal his heart no matter the circumstances. 

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