#ever day i think about the fact that dumbledore told snape more about his plan than anyone else (maybe even harry?) | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

lumosandnoxwriting · 4 years ago

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Thinking of You - Fred Weasley

Title: Thinking of You Pairing: Fred x fem!reader Summary: Fred and the reader are best friends. No matter what George thinks he knows. Just best friends. Best friends who are in love, that is. A/N: this is for the anon who wanted a best friends who are obviously in love with each other!! Reader is the daughter of Sirius Black and Marlene McKinnon, I tried to make it obvious but there it is in case it isn’t clear!! Feedback is always welcomed and requests are open!

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“So, any fun plans for this summer?” Lee asks, trying to break the tension in the air.

Y/N shrugs, pulling her eyes from the landscape swirling outside the train so she can look at the three boys sitting with her. Train rides home for the summer with Lee, Fred and George are easily some of the best memories they’ve made together. They’re usually filled with loud laughter, too much chocolate and plans for their next year of pranks. They’ve been the fearsome foursome since the first day of term nearly six years ago, when Y/N had called Snape Snivellous under her breath, and Fred had laughed so loud he landed himself in detention. Fred had insisted she sit with him, George and Lee at dinner that night and the four of them have been pulling pranks and causing chaos together ever since.

But this year, this year is different. Over the past few years they’ve become accustomed to their school year ending in a less than traditional way, but it’s never stopped them from having fun together one last time as they head towards home. This year though, the last few weeks have been so tense and sad around the castle that it has carried over into their moods. Y/N has never seen Fred and George so quiet, except for the time Fred fell asleep with his head in her lap in the common room third year.

“Come on, Y/N. You’ve got to have something exciting going on. You and Remus always have summer plans,” Fred teases, nudging her knee with his.

Y/N scowls at Fred, trying to hide her smile. Her home life was certainly less than traditional, and Y/N’s friends loved to tease her about it. They didn’t tease her about the fact that she had been raised by her Godfather, but more so about the fact that she had been raised by Remus Lupin, their former professor. When Remus took up a teaching position at Hogwarts during their 5th year, Y/N had no choice but to reveal to her friends just exactly why their new professor knew her so well. They had all thought it was pretty cool, but unfortunately for Y/N it raised more questions about her home life than it had answered.

She rolls her eyes, shoving Fred lightly. “We went on a road trip one summer and you’re still giving me shit about it? Pathetic,” she teases with a giggle. Fred throws his arm around her shoulder and messes with her hair. “If Remus,” she mocks, sticking her tongue out at Fred as she leans into his side. “Has planned anything then he hasn’t said anything.”

Y/N swallows thickly, trying to force the lump in her throat away. She hates lying to her friends, but she’s on strict orders from Dumbledore not to say anything. Now that Voldemort has returned secret plans have been made, the biggest of them being the reformation of the Order of the Phoenix. Remus had moved into Order headquarters a few days before the end of term, and she’d be joining him there for the summer.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever you say,” Fred chides before he turns his attention to Lee.

Y/N lets herself snuggle into Fred’s side, a small smile appearing on her face when his grip around her tightens. George gives her a knowing look, and she sticks her tongue out at him, a pink blush creeping up on her cheeks. Despite whatever George thinks is going on with her and Fred, Fred Weasley is her best friend and absolutely nothing more.

“Dad!” Y/N squeals excitedly before she’s running down the entry hall of 12 Grimmauld Place and into her father’s open arms.

Sirius chuckles and wraps his arms around his daughter tightly. “Hello there little one. I’ve missed you.”

Y/N pulls away from her dad, a bright smile on her face, unable to contain her happiness. She’d been dreaming of the day that she’d get to live with Sirius and be a proper family since the end of last year, when the truth about James and Lily’s death was made clear. Y/N had only gotten to see her dad briefly before he had to flee, and she’d spent quite a bit of her free time thinking about him over the past year.

“Oh no, Y/N, Sirius, don’t worry. I don’t need a hand. I’ve got it,” Remus huffs, his tone teasing. Y/N turns back towards the door, giggling as Remus struggles to pull her trunk through the door. “What in Merlin’s sake do you have in this thing? It didn’t weigh this much when I dropped you off at Kings Cross in September.”

“I may or may not be harboring some things for the Weasley twins,” she admits with a laugh.

Remus gives her a disapproving look to try and hide the gleam of mischief in his eyes. He takes out his wand, waving it so that her trunk is now floating. “Harboring what? Is there something illegal in there? I know what Fred and George get up to.”

Y/N rolls her eyes and laughs along with Sirius. “It’s nothing like that, Remus. I promise. It’s just some stuff they’ve been developing for their joke shop. If Molly finds it she’ll destroy it, so Fred gave it to me to hold onto for a bit. Not a big deal.”

“Come on, Remus, don’t be a stick in the mud,” Sirius chides. “We got up to quite a bit of mischief in our younger days. It’s only natural that Y/N does as well. She’s got the blood of one Marauder and she was raised by another, that’s double the mischief.”

Y/N can tell that Sirius is trying to joke, but his voice shakes. She and Sirius have corresponded a few times since he flew off on Buckbeak and many of her letters contained stories of things her and Remus had done as she grew up. Often times Sirius’ replies were filled with apologies and regret that he had missed out on doing those things with her.

“As long as it’s nothing illegal I’ll let it slide,” Remus says quietly a few moments later. He directs Y/N’s trunk to fly down the hallway and up the stairs. “Second door on the right, yes?”

Sirius nods and puts his arm around Y/N’s shoulder, squeezing tightly. “That’s right. I spent all week preparing your room.” He looks down at Y/N with a reassuring smile. “Alright then, let’s head down to the kitchen for something to eat.”

“Have you got the rest of the rooms cleaned out, Sirius? Our guests will be arriving in a few hours,” Remus says as he takes a sip of coffee.

Y/N frowns, looking between Remus and her dad. “Guests? What guests?”

It’s only two weeks into summer break and Y/N has been enjoying every minute of it. Remus has been in and out of the house doing things for the Order, so she and Sirius have had plenty of time to connect. The house is pretty busy as is, with Order members fliting in and out at all hours of the night, so Y/N can’t imagine it getting any crazier.

Sirius and Remus share a look before Sirius turns to look at Y/N. “Dumbledore has fully briefed the Weasley family on what’s going on, and Arthur and Molly have joined the order. And since Arthur works at the ministry and their son Percy is an assistant to Fudge, Dumbledore thinks it’s best that they stay somewhere that’s under protection.”

“So, the Weasleys are going to be spending the rest of the holiday here?” Y/N asks, her cheeks heating up. When Remus nods she bites her lip. “Do they know? That Sirius is, you know, my dad?”

“You haven’t told them yourself?” Sirius asks. Y/N can hear the hurt in his voice.

Remus shakes his head. “Dumbledore told Arthur and Molly I’m sure, and Ron knows because of Harry, but I don’t think the Twins or Ginny know.” He turns to Sirius then. “We talked about this, Sirius. For Y/N’s safety no one knows you’re her father, that’s why she has Marlene’s last name. We all know that you’re innocent, but the rest of the Wizarding World doesn’t. It was smart of Y/N not to tell anyone except for those who know the truth about you.”

Y/N watches Remus and Sirius look at each other as if they’re having a conversation without even saying anything. “If it makes you feel better,” she says softly, causing both men to look over at her. “I only told them Remus is my Godfather because he started teaching at Hogwarts. He ruined my mysterious reputation.”

Sirius laughs, breaking the awkward tension that had fallen over them. “It does make me feel a bit better, yes.”

“Hey now, I won’t have any of this. You two ganging up on me. Y/N you’re supposed to be on my side,” Remus teases. “Now hurry up and finish your breakfast, you need to get a start on your summer reading. You remember that reading, Sirius? The reading I told you to make sure she started last week?”

Sirius puts his hands up. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he says innocently, sending Y/N a wink.

After breakfast Y/N does reluctantly head up to her bedroom to start on her summer reading. And she has every intention of doing it. But as she settles into her fluffy bed and starts to read about some transfiguration method she can’t help but let her eyes close, dreams of what shenanigans she and her friends may get up to this summer floating through her mind.

“Five more minutes, Remus,” Y/N mumbles, batting away the finger that’s poking her in the cheek. When the poking persists she opens her eyes, a noise of surprise coming out of her mouth. “Fred? George?” she asks in surprise, suddenly sitting up. She starts to fix her hair, a light flush on her cheeks. “What in the hell are you two doing here?”

“We could ask you the same thing, Y/N,” Fred says, sitting down on the edge of her bed.

“Yeah, imagine our surprise when we enter what we think will be our room for the summer,” George continues, taking a seat on the edge of the other side.

“And we see you, peacefully sleeping in a bed,” Fred says, leaning a bit closer to Y/N.

“In Sirius Black’s house,” they finish together.

“There is a perfectly reasonable explanation for that,” she starts, trying to figure out how to explain one of her deepest secrets to her best friends. They both look at her expectantly and she starts to twirl a piece of hair around her finger. “Sirius Black is my dad,” she mumbles.

Fred and George give her identical looks of disapproval. “Gonna have to speak up, love. We’re old men now, being 17 and all. We’re a bit hard of hearing,” Fred teases, lightly nudging her foot.

Y/N rolls her eyes, ignoring the feeling she has in her stomach from Fred’s pet name and touch. “Sirius is my dad. And not like how you guys like to tease me and say Remus is my dad. He’s my full on. Blood related. Dad.”

“Blimey, Y/N. You’ve been holding out on us. What are we going to find out next? Your mother is the Queen?” George teases with a laugh.

“You’re an idiot, you know who my mum is,” she says with a light laugh, leaning forward to punch George in the shoulder.

Fred wraps his hand around Y/N’s ankle and squeezes lightly, causing her to look over at him. “You have been holding out on us. How come?” he asks, trying to keep the same jokey tone his brother had to hide his genuine hurt.

“Because it’s pretty hard to make friends when the world thinks your dad is one of Voldemort’s biggest supporters,” she answers honestly. “That’s the reason why Remus changed my last name back to my mum’s when he got custody. My mum and her family, they died heroes, that’s the legacy that Remus wanted me to have.”

Fred squeezes her ankle again and Y/N tries to pretend that it doesn’t cause goosebumps to erupt up her leg. “But what about after? When you found out about what really happened?”

Y/N shrugs, looking away from Fred’s gaze. She knows that she could have told them the truth after she had learned it herself and she’s not really sure why she didn’t. “I dunno. You guys had just barely found out about Remus. It just seemed easier to keep it to myself.”

“So, it’s not because you secretly hate us and don’t really want to be our friend?” George asks with a grin.

Y/N grabs a pillow from behind her and throws it at his head. “You’re a moron, George.” Y/N fidgets, suddenly very aware that she is still in her pajamas. “Now shouldn’t you boys be doing something else? Like unpacking your things or bothering I dunno, anyone else in this house?”

George looks from Y/N to the place where Fred is still holding onto her ankle and gives her a glance that Y/N knows means he’ll be bringing this up to her later. She grabs another pillow and throws it at him. “Fine, fine, we’re leaving,” he laughs.

“Wow, someone is feeling feisty,” Fred teases. He squeezes her ankle one last time before he gets up and follows George out of her room. “Oh, by the way, nice Pj’s,” he teases, causing Y/N to throw her last pillow at him.

“Y/N dear, it’s lovely to see you!” Molly greets as Y/N enters the kitchen a bit later. Y/N smiles at her and accepts her warm hug. Having Molly in her life was certainly one of the best perks of being friends with Fred and George. Molly radiated warmth and was always willing to open her home and her heart to her children’s friends; something Y/N was always thankful for.

“Hi Molly. I’m so glad you’re here. Remus and Sirius are pretty awful cooks,” Y/N says with a laugh as she goes to sit down. She tries to take a seat next to George, but Fred grabs her arm and pulls her towards him instead. Y/N flicks Fred on the ear and takes a seat in between them, hoping to avoid more teasing remarks from George later on.

Sirius eyes the interaction between Y/N and Fred carefully, a small smirk forming on his lips. “Now while I can’t speak for Moony, I did just spend 12 years in Azkaban,” Sirius chides a moment later.

“I see why you always beg to spend the Holidays at the Burrow, Y/N,” Remus teases, choosing to ignore Sirius.

“Oh yeah it has everything to do with Mum’s cooking,” George pipes up, his tone a clear indication that Y/N’s yearning to spend time at the Burrow has little to do with Molly’s cooking.

Y/N hits George upside the head, causing Ginny and Fred to burst out in laughter. “Well I obviously don’t go there to spend more time with you, git”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough out of you lot,” Molly scolds lightly as trays of food start to fly onto the table. “Y/N is welcome at our home anytime no matter the reason.”

Y/N sticks her tongue out at George and reaches for a sandwich, her hand brushing Fred’s as he goes to grab the same one. “You take it,” she says quietly, letting her hand linger near his for a moment.

Fred grabs the sandwich and puts it on Y/N’s plate with a wink. “Nah you have that one, I’ll take this one.” Fred winks at her again as he takes the sandwich Ron was about to close his hand around.

“Hey!” Ron shouts in annoyance.

“Sorry ickle Ronniekins, gotta be faster than that,” Fred teases with a laugh.

Y/N laughs along with him, trying to ignore the warmth Fred’s hand gives off as it rests on her knee.

“I really am doing my reading, Remus, I promise!” Y/N shouts after someone knocks on her door.

Y/N had spent most of the day with Fred and George, getting caught up on the new item they’d started to develop in the few short weeks it’s been since the end of term. For a while she had just laid on Fred’s bed, watching him and George pour over their notes to try and work out the issues with what they called ‘extendable ears.’ Eventually she got up and went to find Ginny, mostly to avoid George’s stare after Fred’s hand wound around her ankle again. She avoided both boys until dinner, when the topic of her reading was brought up again. Unfortunately for Y/N, George ratted her out to Remus about her mid-morning nap, and he had made her promise that she’d head up to her room after dinner to read.

“Really? That’s quite boring,” Sirius says playfully as he pushes her door open.

Y/N laughs and throws the book she had been skimming onto the bed next to her. “Oh hey, Dad.”

Sirius closes the door behind him and comes to sit on the edge of her bed. “What’s with all this summer reading anyway? Last I checked Hogwarts didn’t set homework over the summer holidays.”

“It’s not official reading. Just something Remus makes me do during the break. Keep my mind fresh or something,” she explains with an eyeroll. “It has come in handy a couple times, but don’t tell him I said that.”

Sirius winks at her and pretends to zip his lips shut. “Your secret is safe with me.” Sirius pauses for a moment. “So, what’s going on with you and that Weasley boy?”

Y/N can feel her face start to heat up, and she starts to twirl her hair around her finger. “Fred and George are my best friends. Nothing more.”

“Your mother was one of my best friends back in our Hogwarts days, and you can clearly see how that worked out,” he jokes, reaching out to tuck a stray piece of hair behind Y/N’s ear.

“Really? I didn’t know that,” Y/N says softly, trying to both avoid the current topic and find out more information. “Remus didn’t talk about you much, growing up. For obvious reasons,” she chuckles.

Sirius gives her a sad smile. “Your mother was a wild card. You never really knew what she was thinking unless she told you. She instigated quite a bit of the shenanigans James and I got into, just to see if we would actually go through with it.”

“And of course, you guys did,” Y/N laughs.

Sirius scoffs playfully. “Well duh. I was never one to back down from a challenge, especially not when it gave me the opportunity to show off for your mother. I so desperately wanted her attention; it was actually quite pathetic. James would tease me relentlessly for it, but he was no better. Lily didn’t give him the time of day until at least 6th year, no matter how hard he tried to impress her.”

“Well obviously you got her attention eventually,” Y/N says, gesturing towards herself. “I’m living proof.”

“That you are, little one,” Sirius smiles. “You remind me of her so much. Obviously not looks wise,” he adds with a laugh when Y/N gives him a look. Appearance wise there is no doubt that Sirius is Y/N’s dad, they have the same Grey eyes and dark wavy hair. “You have her spirit and her attitude. You have her ability to charm anyone in a matter of minutes. I’ve seen you use it on Remus, it’s quite uncanny really.”

Y/N blushes. Growing up Remus had told her story after story about her mother. Probably to make up for the lack of stories about her dad, but Y/N enjoyed it either way. He often told her how much she reminded him of her, but it sounds different coming from Sirius. Sirius had been in love with her mother, had known her deepest secrets and had even started a family with her. If Sirius could see Marlene in Y/N, then there’s no doubt in her mind that it’s true.

“So, just friends eh?” Sirius asks a moment later, playfully nudging Y/N’s leg.

Y/N blushes again for a different reason and nods. “Yes, just friends,” she insists.

“We’ll see about that,” Sirius says with a wink. He stands up then and looks down at her. “Now you better actually do some summer reading, before Remus forbids us from spending any time together.”

“How’s the summer reading going?” Fred says teasingly as he sneaks up behind Y/N.

Y/N quickly turns around and hits him on the chest lightly with her book. “You’re such an asshat. This house is creepy enough as it is, there’s no need for you to go sneaking up on people.”

Fred laughs as he jumps over the back of the sofa and sits next to Y/N, his arm resting on the piece of furniture just behind her head. “But that’s half the fun.”

“Where’s George?” she asks, turning her head to look around and make sure that he isn’t lurking around somewhere as well.

“Why? Am I not enough for you?” Fred asks with a pout.

Y/N rolls her eyes and digs her fingers into his side, tickling him slightly. “No. But I recall Molly tasked you two with getting some doxies out of the curtains in the study upstairs so if you’re slacking off he is too.”

“Me? Slacking off?” Fred asks astonishingly, grasping at his heart. “Y/N, you absolute monster! You’ve wounded me! I would never be slacking off!” He grins down at Y/N, causing her to roll her eyes again. “But to answer your question he’s upstairs recovering from a mishap with one of our nosebleed nougats.”

Y/N grimaces, a memory of Lee Jordan bleeding all over her Potions notes coming to mind. “Yikes. Still haven’t gotten them just right?” Fred shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. “You think they’ll be ready? By the start of term?”

All Fred and George have talked about for years is opening up their own joke shop someday. In the past few years they’ve become closer than ever, having already developed some successful products with more in the works. Their only real roadblock has been funding, and Fred had shared with Y/N their plan to develop something called a Skiving Snackbox that they could sell to students to help with their startup costs.

“Oh yeah, there’s no doubt in my mind,” he responds confidently. “George and I are a force to be reckon with when we’ve got our mind on something and now that we’ve got our best girl with us for the whole summer,” Fred pauses so he can wink at Y/N and she hopes that the immediate blush that appears on her cheeks isn’t noticeable. “We’ll definitely get all the kinks worked out in time.”

Fred’s arm has fallen from its’ original resting place to Y/N’s shoulder, and his fingers have started to play with her hair. She rests her head on Fred’s shoulder, her fingers fiddling with the pages of her book. Fred’s fingers tug on her hair lightly, causing Y/N to look up at him. “What’s on your mind, Y/N?” he asks softly.

Y/N shrugs. “Just thinking about next year. We’re gonna be in our last year of school in a couple of months and I still have no idea what I want to do with my life.” During her OWL year Y/N had told McGonagall that she wanted to work in the Care of Magical Creatures department at the Ministry, but she isn’t quite sure that’s exactly what she wants. “You and George have already figured everything out and I’m just kinda stuck.”

Fred scoffs. “We have far from figured everything out, Y/N. But I’m glad it appears that way,” he chuckles. “And who cares if you don’t have everything figured out yet? You’re not even 17 yet. Frankly I think it’s rubbish that we’re expected to have our lives figured out when we’re this age.” Fred bites his lip. “If it really bothers you that much, then just come work at the joke shop with George and I.”

“What?” Y/N asks in surprise, trying to hide her excitement at his casual remark. “You’d really want me to work with you? The both of you. You and George,” she says quickly, looking away from Fred to hide her embarrassment.

“Yeah, ‘course, Y/N,” Fred says with a laugh. “You’re my best friend, why wouldn’t I want you to?”

“So, I’m your best friend, hm? Can’t wait to tell Lee you said that,” she teases, trying to hide her disappointment.

“Well, don’t you too look cozy?” George asks suddenly, causing Y/N and Fred to jump apart.

Y/N turns around so she can glare at George before she throws her book at him. “Blimey you’re a menace.”

George laughs and comes over to Y/N and Fred, forcing them apart so he can sit in between them. “Hey, that’s not very nice,” George says, giving Y/N a look when she digs her elbow into his ribs.

“You couldn’t have sat in any of the other chairs in this room?” Fred groans, moving over to give George room.

“I could have,” George says playfully. “But I wanted to sit here.” George grins wickedly at Fred. “Is that a problem, dear brother of mine? That I wanted to sit next to Y/N?”

“Not at all,” Fred says as he suddenly stands up. “We should probably get to that stuff Mum wanted us to do anyway.” Fred gives George a look and starts to head towards the door. “Enjoy you’re reading, Y/N,” he says before disappearing around the corner.

Y/N glares at George before digging her fingers into his ribs, causing him to yelp. “Ow! What was that for?” he asks, rubbing his side.

“You know exactly what that was for, git. You always have to go and make things weird,” Y/N huffs, crossing her arms.

“Oh, don’t be such a drama queen, Y/N,” George says with an eye roll. “And I wasn’t making things weird, I was simply trying to facilitate a conversation that you and my brother are both too stubborn to have on your own.”

“And what conversation might that be?” Y/N asks as she swallows thickly, already knowing the answer.

“Don’t be daft,” George drawls. “You’re both stupid in love with each other, so just admit it and make out so we all can move on. It’s getting ridiculous.”

Y/N blushes and digs her fingers into George’s ribs again to hide her nerves. “I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about, George. Fred is my best friend, just like you and Lee.”

“Oh yeah, because Lee and I are always looking for an excuse to touch you, my bad,” George rolls his eyes. “Wait, that was Fred who kept grabbing your ankle yesterday, silly me.” George hits himself on the forehead jokingly. “And it definitely wasn’t Fred who just left his brother up in bed after he nearly bled to death so he could come cuddle you. Definitely not. Oh, wait.”

“Now who’s being a drama queen,” Y/N teases lightly as she begins to twirl a piece of hair around her index finger. “Friends can cuddle with each other, it’s not a big deal,” she mumbles.

“You’re right it is normal, Harry, Ron and Hermione cuddle all the time,” George responds, nudging Y/N.

Y/N scoffs at George. “Just give it a rest, George. If I did feel something more than friendship with Fred I would never act on it. Fred isn’t shy about anything, if he wanted to be more than friends he would have said something by now. So, we are clearly meant to be nothing more than friends. Which I’m fine with,” she adds, glaring at George. “Now go help your brother with that doxy infestation before Molly finds you here and sets off that awful portrait of my grandmother again.”

“Finally,” Fred groans when George joins him up in the third-floor study. “Mum’s gonna be here any minute to check up on our progress and getting rid of these doxies is a two-person job.”

George rolls his eyes and takes the spray bottle Fred practically shoves into his chest. “What’s got you in a mood? Upset that I interrupted your snuggle time with Y/N?” he jokes.

“No,” Fred grumbles. When George gives him his signature ‘cut the crap’ look Fred flips him off. “We were just sitting there, talking like two friends do. You’re the one that made it weird.”

George rolls his eyes. “Have you forgotten that we’re twins? And that I can practically read your mind?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Fred asks as he grabs his wand. He motions for George to get into place as he gets ready to cast the spell that will make the doxies fly at them. When George nods that he’s ready, Fred waves his wand and a flurry of doxies heads towards them.

“You know exactly what it means,” George grunts as he sprays the immobilizing potion at the doxies. When Fred doesn’t say anything as he starts to throw the stunned doxies in a bucket, George continues. “You very clearly have feeling for Y/N that expand beyond friendship.”

Fred glares at his brother and throws a doxie in the bucket a little too hard. “I don’t have any idea what you’re talking about. Y/N is my friend. My best friend, just like how she’s your best friend, git. Or are you claiming to be in love with her as well?”

“If she’s only your best friend then why did it bother you when I sat in between you two just now, hm?” Fred looks away from George, urging the younger twin to continue. “And what about the other day at lunch? She was going to sit next to me, and you pulled her towards you. Why? And what about that thing with the ankle? Hm? What was that all about?”

Fred turns away from George, trying to hide his blush. “Friends can be affectionate with each other, George, “ he insists. “Just because you don’t feel the need to be affectionate with Y/N doesn’t mean that I have non-platonic feelings for her because I do.”

“Oh really?” George asks curiously. “So, you wouldn’t mind if I started to show more affection for Y/N then? The same way you do?”

“Not at all,” Fred responds through gritted teeth. He stomps over to George and shoves the bucket into his stomach. “Now finish up with this, I’m going to go revamp our nougat recipe so we can avoid another bleed out.”

George smirks as Fred’s back as he storms out, a plan forming in his head.

“What the hell has gotten into you?” Y/N whispers into George’s ear a few days later during breakfast.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Y/N,” George responds with a wink.

Y/N narrows her eyes at him. “You’re up to something, I know it.”

Ever since their conversation in the lounge, George has been acting weird. He’s been insisting that she sit next to him at meals, when she hangs out with Fred and George in their room he pulls her down onto his bed and the other day he even went as far as to hold her hand while they watched Ginny and Ron play Wizard’s Chess.

“I’m just being a good friend, Y/N. Friends can be affectionate towards each other, can’t they, Fred?” George asks, suddenly turning towards his twin.

Fred glares at George. “Mhm. Of course they can.”

George then looks back at Y/N looking far too pleased with himself. “See, Y/N? I’m just doing what normal friends do.”

“Well knock it off,” she scolds lightly. “It’s weird.”

“Oh, so it’s weird when I do it, but when Fred does it, it’s a normal part of friendship,” George muses. “Interesting.”

Y/N scoffs and stands up from the table. “I’m going to go read.” She gives one last look at George before she exits the kitchen and heads upstairs.

“Can I come in?” Fred asks softly, leaning against the entrance to Y/N’s room. He planned on giving her some space after what went down at breakfast, but when she didn’t come down for lunch Fred decided to seek her out.

Y/N is sitting on her bed leaning up against the headboard with a book on her lap. “Yeah, sure,” she responds, not even looking up at Fred.

Fred sighs and comes to sit down next to Y/N. He leaves a small gap in between them and resists his urge to put his arm around her. “What’s going on with you? I’ve never seen you cross at George.”

“He’s just being an idiot,” she says, slamming her book shut and tossing it aside. “He’s taking the mickey out of me after a conversation we had the other day.”

Fred hums, nudging Y/N’s foot with his. “That would explain his odd behavior over the last few days. He’s been keeping you all to himself, I feel like I haven’t seen you in ages.”

Y/N blushes and punches his thigh lightly. “You know I’m just across the hall from you, right? You could have come in at any time to see me.”

“You know what I mean,” he chuckles. Fred bites his lip. “Must have been some conversation to get you both so worked up.”

“It was stupid honestly,” Y/N says with a shrug, trying to seem casual. “I just let him get to me and I shouldn’t have.”

“Yea, I got a bit stroppy at him the other day as well. That’s why he’s so quiet, he’s figuring out how to get in your head,” Fred muses with a laugh. “You’re alright though, yeah?”

Y/N nods, bumping their shoulders together. “Yeah, ‘m fine.”

“Good, now I won’t feel bad about doing this.”

Before Y/N can ask what Fred’s talking about, she’s being smacked in the head by a pillow. “Oh, it is on, Weasley!” she shouts, grabbing her own pillow.

They spend a few minutes hitting at each other, both of them laughing like crazy. Y/N manages to knock Fred’s pillow out of his hands as she lands a hit to his chest and Fred’s hands immediately fly to her sides and he starts to tickle her as a distraction. As she tries to wiggle away from him, Fred takes one hand away and knocks her own pillow to the ground.

“Okay, okay, you got me,” Y/N giggles, trying to catch her breath. Fred is hovering over her, a cheeky grin on his face. He brings a hand up to brush her hair out of her face, and Y/N tries to ignore the tingles that roll down her spine at his delicate touch. She’s suddenly very aware of Fred’s weight on top of her and a pink blush starts to creep up her neck.

“Oi! Lovebirds!” Ginny shouts, a laugh falling from her lips when Fred nearly falls off of Y/N’s bed as he tries to get up.

“What, Gin?” Fred runs a hand through his hair, trying to act casual.

“Mum needs help getting rid of some creature stuck under a bed upstairs, if you’re not too busy here,” she chuckles, gesturing towards Y/N.

Fred nods and shoots a grin at Y/N. “See ya later.” Fred heads out of her room, shoving Ginny as he goes.

“Damn,” Y/N mutters to herself. She was trying to tiptoe down into the kitchen to grab a snack before dinner, but the door to the stairwell is shut tightly. “Stupid Order.” She’s about to turn around and head back upstairs, when she hears some noise coming from the sitting room.

“Are you two playing Wizard’s Chess?” she asks in surprise. When she first entered the sitting room, she wasn’t sure what to expect, but Y/N certainly didn’t think it would be Fred and George sitting on either side of the coffee table, with Ron’s Wizard Chess board between them.

George rolls his eyes as one of his pieces moves across the board. “Don’t act so shocked, Y/N. Contrary to popular belief Fred and I in fact have brains and we use them from time to time.”

“I’m not shocked because you’re doing something that involves thinking,” she chides as she takes a seat on the sofa. “I’m shocked because you’re doing something quiet and innocent.” Fred leans back against Y/N’s legs, and his left hand winds around her left ankle. “Figured you two were up in your room working on those extendible ears again.”

Fred huffs as one of his pieces gets destroyed by one of George’s. “We were, ‘til Mum walked in on us and confiscated it. She’s going to Kings Cross after dinner to pick up Hermione, so we’re just killing time until we can go and nick it back.”

“And your nosebleed nougats? You figured that one out?” Y/N asks, starting to run her hands through Fred’s hair.

“Yup, turns out we weren’t using enough Billywig Sting Slime in the antidote candy, so it wasn’t strong enough to stop the bleeding,” George responds, not even bothering to look up at her.

Y/N groans. “You guys are boring. I’m going back to my room.” She moves to stand up, but Fred tightens his grip on her ankle.

“No,” he coos. “Stay, please.” Fred tilts his head back so he can pout up at Y/N. “We’ll be more entertaining, I promise.”

“Yeah, this game is over anyway,” George says with a grin. “Checkmate.”

Fred groans as his final piece falls. “I’ll get you next time.”

“Yeah sure you will,” George laughs. “Moving on to more exciting things, someone’s birthday is coming up.”

“That’s right! In just a few weeks little Y/N will finally be the big 17,” Fred teases, squeezing her ankle again.

Y/N kicks at him lightly. “Oh, shove off, I’m only a few months younger than you lot.”

“But we’re still older than you, and that’s what matters,” George teases. “So, what do you wanna do for your birthday?”

Y/N shrugs, she honestly hadn’t even thought about it. Her and Remus never really made a big deal about her birthday. They’d pick up some takeout from a muggle restaurant and later in the evening they’d have cake and she’d open up her presents. It was never anything special, and Y/N was fine with that.

“Just figured we’d do the usual, if I’m honest. Dinner, cake, some presents. Nothing crazy,” she responds a moment later.

Fred frowns up at her. “That’s it?”

“Figured you’d do something big; a young witch only turns 17 once ya know,” George says.

Y/N nods. “Yeah, that’s what I always do. Why would this year be any different?”

“I don’t know, maybe because your two best friends in the whole world are here to celebrate it with you?,” Fred teases.

“And your father is too,” Sirius says, causing all three of them to turn and look at him.

“Blimey dad, you scared me. How long have you been standing there?”

Sirius smiles at Y/N and steps farther into the room, his forearms resting on the back of the sofa. “Just a few minutes, the Order meeting just got out.”

Y/N can hear shuffling as people head past the sitting room towards the entrance of Grimmauld Place. “Anything exciting happening?” she asks hopefully.

Despite the fact that Fred and George have already reached adulthood in the Wizarding World and Y/N’s 17thbirthday was only a few weeks away, none of them had been allowed to join the order or attend meetings. Y/N had begged Remus to let her join not too long after summer started, and he had firmly put his foot down. Fred and George had managed to get their extendible ears up and running for them to eavesdrop on the meetings, but everything said ended up translated into Spanish.

“You know as much as I would like to share that information with all of you,” Sirius says slowly, looking from Y/N to the twins. “I can’t. For one it is classified information per Dumbledore’s orders,” Sirius rolls his eyes. “And two, your mother will have my head and mount it on the wall if I say anything to you boys.”

Y/N groans. “This is such bullshit. We’re old enough to be considered adults and yet we’re not allowed to make decisions for ourselves.”

“Why haven’t you joined the order?” Fred asks, squeezing Y/N’s ankle so she’ll look down at him. “Obviously George and I can’t because of Mum but why haven’t you? Sirius is clearly fine with it.”

“Because Remus said no,” she explains with an eyeroll, as if the answer is obvious. Y/N can hear Sirius shift uncomfortably behind her.

“And? Sirius is your dad. That’s got to count for something,” George points out.

Y/N frowns, she honestly hadn’t even thought about that. Sirius is her dad, and Remus may have been the one who raised her, but he’s not her dad. Y/N loved growing up with Remus, and she’s thankful that he sacrificed so much of his life so that she could be raised by someone who loved her and cared about her wellbeing. But Sirius is free from Azkaban now and they’re living under the same roof. Why shouldn’t Sirius be the one making her decisions?

“Makes sense to me,” Sirius says. “So, Y/N, you have my blessing. If you want to join the Order once you turn 17, then do it. You’re right. In the eyes of the ministry you become an adult in a few weeks, and you should be the one making your decisions.”

Y/N smiles up at her dad. “Guess this birthday will be a bit different than normal.”

“So, I’ve been trying to figure out what to get you for your birthday,” Fred muses as he comes to sit on the edge of Y/N’s bed.

Y/N resists her urge to pull him closer, instead choosing to nudge his side with her foot in the hopes that he’ll grab her ankle again. As weird of a gesture it might be, Y/N actually really enjoys it. “Is that why I’ve barely seen you? Too busy thinking?” she teases, a hint of seriousness in her voice.

Once Hermione arrived at Grimmauld Place it seemed like Molly was kicked into overdrive. She had them working like crazy to get the house cleaned and free of the magical pests that had taken residence in the empty house. Any free time they had Fred and George spent locked up in their room, meaning Y/N has only seen them at meals for the past week.

“Aw, did you miss me?” he asks playfully, his hand winding around her ankle. “George and I have just been busy is all. We’ve finally got the extendible ears transmitting in English, and we managed to get the Fainting Fancies to taste like caramel instead of ear wax.”

“That’s good, I guess,” she mumbles.

Fred squeezes her ankle lightly. “Oh, come on don’t be like that. You’re still my best girl.”

“You could have at least invited me to join,” Y/N says, trying to keep from smiling at their contact.

“Hey, I wanted to invite you in,” Fred says defensively. “But George kept spouting about how I get distracted when you help us, and we never end up getting anything done so he wouldn’t let me.” Fred is blushing like crazy and Y/N can’t help but smile.

“I’m just messing with you,” she chuckles, her stomach full of butterflies. “So, you’ve been thinking about what to get me, hm? Any ideas?”

“Oh loads,” Fred says, his thumb starting to rub circles on her ankle. “But nothing seems quite right.”

Y/N rolls her eyes. “Just get me what you do every year. A card that explodes and scares the shit out of me and a chocolate frog.”

Fred shakes his head. “No, it needs to be something, special. Your birthday gift to me this year was special, so I need to do something even better.”

“It wasn’t that big of a deal,” Y/N says softly, looking away from Fred. Fred and George had taken advantage of the Triwizard Tournament and had spent the days leading up to each task taking bets and sacking away the money they made for their shop. Y/N knew that Fred wouldn’t straight up take any money from her, so she had gifted him a Galleon on his birthday, insisting that it was an investment in what she knew would be a successful business.

“Yes, it was,” he insists, pinching her ankle so she’ll look up at him. “Most everyone thinks we’re mental for putting everything we have into something that may never be successful, except for you. You’ve always believed in George and I, since the first prank we ever pulled. So yeah, maybe it was just a Galleon, but it was the meaning behind it that made it special.”

“Okay, no need to be so mushy,” she teases, trying to ignore the feeling Fred’s words give her. Fred is your friend she reminds herself. It’s normal for friends to say that kind of stuff to each other. And it’s normal to feel lightheaded when they do.

Fred laughs. “Fine, don’t take my compliment. I’m still going to do something special for your birthday. Whether you think you deserve it or not.” Fred squeezes her ankle again before standing up. “Alright I’ve gotta get back to George, I was only supposed to be going to the toilet.”

Y/N lays back against her pillows as Fred leaves her room, a dopey smile on her face as she tries to deny the fact that George may have been right all along.

Y/N watches as Fred shuffles the stack of cards, looking far too pleased with himself. Since their conversation in her room the other night, Fred has been making more of an effort to spend time with Y/N. They’ve been playing exploding snap with Ron and George for the past 45 minutes, and Fred has somehow managed to win every game.

“Take a picture, Y/N, it’ll last longer,” Fred teases, bringing Y/N out of her thoughts.

“Don’t know why anyone would want a picture of your ugly mug,” Ron pipes up, causing Y/N to laugh.

Fred hits Ron upside the head. “I don’t see anyone fawning over you either, git. Y/N’s been staring for a good five minutes, clearly she’s entranced by my beauty.”

“Oh, in your dreams, Weasley. I’m keeping an eye on you, there’s no way you’ve been winning by pure luck. You’re up to something and I’m going to figure it out,” she says, sticking her tongue out at him.

Fred winks at her. “Sure sure, whatever you say, dear.”

“Just deal the damn cards,” George groans, clearly annoyed by their antics. “Flirt with each other later.”

Y/N watches as Fred deals the cards to them all, trying to detect any signs of deception. She frowns when nothing appears to be out of order. They play normally for a few minutes, but Y/N’s suspicion that Fred is cheating returns as he quickly pulls ahead.

“How? How are you doing it?” Y/N asks 20 minutes later as Fred celebrates another win.

“I told you, I’m not cheating. It’s okay to be jealous of my success, Y/N. You’ll get better the more you play,” Fred teases with a wink.

Y/N groans. When Fred goes to grab the cards to shuffle again, Y/N slaps her hand on top of them. “If you’re not cheating then you won’t mind if I shuffle this time,” she smirks. Fred sputters as he tries to think of a reason why Y/N shouldn’t shuffle. “I knew it! You’re charming the cards aren’t you?”

“No, of course not,” Fred says quickly, a sheepish smile on his face.

“I knew it!” Y/N shouts. “You’re a dead man, Fred Weasley!”

Fred gets up and runs around the room, Y/N following close behind him. Y/N manages to catch up and she jumps on his back, Fred’s hands automatically gripping her thighs, so she doesn’t fall.

“Do I even want to know?” Hermione asks as she steps into the room.

Fred has thrown Y/N onto the couch and is tickling her mercilessly, while George and Ron look on in disgust.

George shakes his head. “No, probably not.”

“There’s the birthday girl,” Sirius says with a smile as Y/N enters the kitchen. “Happy birthday.”

“Thanks, dad,” Y/N says as Sirius envelops her in a hug.

She takes a seat next to Fred when they part, a blush forming on her cheeks when he puts his arm around her and pulls her into his side. “Good morning to you too, doofus,” she teases, piling some pancakes on her plate.

“How does it feel to be an old woman?” Fred teases, causing George to laugh.

“I can’t believe our little Y/N is already so grown up,” George says playfully, pretending to wipe away a tear.

Y/N rolls her eyes as she drowns her pancakes in syrup. “You’re both insufferable, do you know that?”

Remus enters the kitchen then, a large smile on his face. “Didn’t expect to see you up so early.” He pauses behind Y/N to ruffle her hair and press a kiss to the top of her head. “Happy birthday, Y/N.”

“Thanks Remus,” she says, flicking Fred in the ear as he laughs.

“I can’t believe you’re 17 already. Seems like just yesterday your mother was laying on the beach refusing to believe she was in labor,” Sirius muses with a smile as Remus sits down.

Remus chuckles. “I remember that. I think you sent me 15 owls in the span of 45 minutes.”

“Well I was in full on panic mode, Moony. I thought Marlene was going to give birth right in the sand!”

Y/N feels like her cheeks are on fire as Fred and George snicker to themselves. “Okay, can we please talk about something that isn’t my birth? Literally anything else I’m begging.”

“Potty training, then? Because boy do I have some stories about that,” Remus teases, a laugh falling from his lips as Y/N chucks a grape at his head. “I’m only joking, no need to start a food fight.”

The kitchen starts to fill up then as everyone starts to wake up, and Y/N is thankful that all of the heat is off of her. Y/N looks around as everyone takes a seat at the table and starts to each, idle conversations popping up all around. Y/N can’t remember a time when she felt this content. Nearly all the people she cares about are sitting around the same table, it’s like every wish she’s ever made on a birthday cake has come true.

“So, Y/N, now that you’re 17 are you going to join the Order?” Ginny asks excitedly.

Before Y/N has a chance to respond Remus chuckles. “Of course not, she’s still in school. That’s the rule, no underage wizards and no wizards that are still in school.”

“That’s not the Order’s rule,” Y/N points out as she frowns. “That’s Molly’s rule for Fred and George. I no longer have the trace and I can do magic outside of school. Therefore, I’m joining the Order.”

Remus gives her a look. “Even so we talked about this at the beginning of summer. I said no, end of story.”

Y/N puts her fork down. “No, not end of story. I was 16 at the beginning of summer, now I’m 17. I can make my own choices. And besides, Sirius said it was okay.”

“Sirius’ opinion has no bearing on the matter. I told you that you’re too young to join the Order and that’s final,” Remus scolds.

“And why does my opinion have no bearing, Remus?” Sirius asks firmly. “Last I checked Y/N is my daughter, not yours.”

The air in the room is tense, and everyone looks around, trying not to pay too much attention to the exchange between Sirius and Remus.

“She might as well be. It’s not like I haven’t sacrificed the past 15 years of my life to raise her or anything since you got yourself tossed in Azkaban,” Remus responds coldly.

Y/N stands up suddenly and everyone turns to look at her. “Sorry that I was such a burden on your life, Remus. No need to worry, I’m 17 now and I can take care of myself. I wouldn’t want to inconvenience you any longer.”

With that Y/N turns on her heel and stomps out of the kitchen, a few stray tears streaming down her face.

“Go away,” Y/N shouts at whoever is knocking at her door. She’s lying on her side in bed, her body curled around a pillow that she’s hugging to her chest.

“Please let me in, Y/N,” Fred pleads.

Y/N sits up and wipes away the few stray tears still running down her cheeks. With a wave of her wand the door unlocks. “Fine, come in.”

Fred pushes the door open and slowly comes in, one hand behind his back. He bites his lip as shuts the door behind him, his eyes focused on Y/N. “Are you alright?” he asks softly as he takes a seat down next to her.

“Do I look alright?” she asks, gesturing towards her disheveled appearance.

Fred smiles at her. “I dunno, you look just as beautiful as you always do”

“You’re only saying that to make me feel better,” she says lamely, lightly shoving Fred’s shoulder.

“As if,” Fred scoffs. “You always look beautiful to me, Y/N. Even after you dove headfirst into that snowbank while sledding 2nd year.”

Y/N glares at Fred, but she can’t help but smile as well. “Okay fine, I’m smiling. Are you happy now?”

“Ecstatic,” Fred teases with a wink. He pauses, reaching out to grab Y/N’s hand with his free one. “Are you okay?” he asks, his voice serious. “That was, something back there.”

Y/N shrugs, squeezing Fred’s hand. “I always forget how young Remus was when I fell into his lap. I mean he was only 4 years older than we are now and suddenly he was responsible for a toddler than wasn’t even his. I know he gave up a lot to take care of me but hearing him say it like that,” Y/N’s voice cracks as tears well up in her eyes again. “It makes me feel, I dunno, bad. Like a burden.”

“Hey, now, I’ll have none of that,” he says softly, wiping away the few tears that stream down her cheeks. “First of all, you have nothing to feel bad about. It’s not your fault that Remus chose to bring you up. And second of all, honestly, love I don’t think he meant a word of what he said. He looked so awful after you left, he was really broken up about it.”

Y/N sniffles. “Really?” When Fred nods she takes a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have pushed it either. I was kind of being a brat,” she admits, sticking her tongue out at Fred when he nods in agreement. “I should go apologize.”

Y/N moves to get up, but Fred tightens his grip on her hand. “Wait, not yet.”

“What now?” Y/N groans, squeezing his hand back to let him know she’s only kidding.

“I know it’s a little too early for presents but,” he says as his other hands comes from behind his back. There’s a medium sized black box in his hand, with a big red bow right in the middle. “I can’t wait any longer to give it to you and I figured it’d make you feel better.”

“Fred,” Y/N gasps, a pink blush appearing on her cheeks to match the one on Fred’s. “I told you just to get me a chocolate frog.”

“And I told you I was going to get you something special,” he responds cheekily. He pushes the box into her hand. “Open it.”

Y/N releases Fred hand so she can open the box, her eyes not leaving his. When Fred gives her a nod of encouragement she looks down at the box, a small gasp leaving her lips. “Oh Fred.”

Inside the box is a delicate silver chain, with a silver charm in the shape of an F hanging from it. Y/N’s fingers ghost over the chain lightly, trying to find the right words to express how much she loves it. Emotions are bubbling up in her mouth, threatening to spill out everywhere and her heart is fluttering in her chest.

“Do you like it?” Fred asks nervously.

“Like it?” Y/N asks as she looks back up at Fred. “I love it Fred, it’s gorgeous. It was worth all the thinking you put into it, it’s perfect.”

Fred smiles at Y/N. “Well I settled on this particular piece of jewelry because I was able to get a matching one pretty easily.” Y/N gives Fred a look of confusion, and he chuckles as he reaches a hand into the collar of his shirt. He pulls out a necklace that looks identical to the one in Y/N’s hand, but the charm that hangs off of it is the first letter of her name.

“I charmed them, so when you touch the F on your necklace, the letter on mine warms up and when I touch the letter on mine, the F on yours does the same. That way whenever I’m thinking of you or you’re thinking of me, we can touch our charms and let the other know,” he explains softly.

“Fred that,” Y/N swallows thickly. “That is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever heard in my life.”

Fred clears his throat and grabs Y/N’s hand again. “It’s looking more and more like George and I aren’t going to be completing our final year at Hogwarts.” Y/N goes to say something, but Fred puts a hand up to stop her. “With the money that we made last year and the money that Harry gave us from the Triwizard tournament we were able to rent out a place in Diagon Alley. We’re still gonna start the year, it’ll give us time to test our products and start to build up a customer base, but we already decided that we’re not going to finish the year.”

Fred releases Y/N’s hand so he can cup her cheek instead. “And I can’t leave you there at Hogwarts without there being some way for me to tell you when I’m thinking of you. Because Y/N you are constantly on my mind. You are the first thing I think about in the morning and the last thing I think about before I go to sleep at night. You’re my everything. You’re my voice of reason, you’re my source of comfort, you’re my best friend and,” Fred pauses, taking a deep breath. “And you’re the love of my life.”

“Fred,” Y/N breaths.

Y/N is so overwhelmed with emotion that she can’t find the words to express everything that Fred means to her, so she does the next best thing. Y/N tentatively leans forward and lightly brushes her lips against Fred’s. Taking the hint, Fred presses their lips together in a heated kiss. Their lips move together softly, and when Fred pulls away Y/N feels lightheaded.

“I love you,” she whispers softly, kissing Fred again briefly. “At some point you became so much more than my best friend and I tried to deny it for so long, in case you didn’t feel the same. But Merlin, Fred. I am stupid, stupid in love with you.”

Fred chuckles and presses a peck to Y/N’s lips. “Thank Merlin George was right, otherwise I would have just mucked up the best thing that’s ever happened to me.” Fred pauses, taking the necklace out of its’ box. “Just don’t tell him I said that.”

“And give him the satisfaction of being right? Never,” she says with a chuckle. Y/N moves her hair out of the way so Fred can clasp the necklace around her neck. The chain is cold, and it sends a shiver down her spine. “Well, let’s see if it works then.”

“Do you doubt my abilities?” Fred teases.

As Fred grabs a hold the charm on his necklace, the F on Y/N’s starts to warm up, causing goosebumps to pop up on her chest. “Not in the slightest,” she assures, grabbing a hold of the F. Fred leans forward and presses their lips together again, both of them still desperately dripping their charms.

“To be honest with you,” George says from the doorway, looking up at Remus and Sirius. “I don’t think she’s thinking about what happened at breakfast.

Y/N and Fred laugh into each other’s mouths as Y/N fumbles around for her wand. With a wave the door slams shut. “Oh yea, there are definitely perks to being 17,” she says, pulling away from Fred’s mouth. When Fred gives her a questioning look she waves her wand again.

“What did you just cast?” he asks, allowing Y/N to pull him on top of her as she lays back on her bed.

She grins up at him, her hands gripping his neck. “A silencing charm.”

Fred presses their lips together hotly, thinking of all the non-platonic things he wants to do to Y/N.

#Fred Weasley #Fred Weasley imagine #Fred Weasley fluff #Fred Weasley fanfiction #Fred Weasley fic #Fred Weasley x reader #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #fw #golden

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a-dusty-emerald · 4 years ago

Text

Till it sinks in: Draco x Reader / Hurt-Comfort, Fluff Fic

A hurt-comfort fluff fic, with a slytherin Y/n being the girlfriend of the softie-who-hates-to-be-called-softie-so-he-bitches-all-day Draco Lucius Malfoy.

Where Umbridge uses her quill on you.

_____________________________________________

Dolores Umbridge, maybe the most hated teacher to set foot at Hogwarts, had a special dislike against anyone who disobeyed. And while that may be all teachers, not all teachers dismissed sobbing students from their detention. Every single student that got detention with Umbridge looked broken afterwards, but no one knew what she said to them; it was a mystery.

Professor McGonagall, for instance, made sure the students that misbehaved researched a wide topic for a few hours during the week, with the intimidating presence of her self. Professor Snape, on the other hand, locked students in the Potions classroom and let them out after the successfull brewing of a potion of his liking. Hence, it must be something similar.

Y/n strolled into class, her curls bouncing around the embroided slytherin crest of her robe. Defence against the dark arts was her worst subject, she only thought it was interesting when Professor Lupin taught it, and had done surprisingly well. Then, it was a hands-on, useful and fascinating module, while now, Umbridge followed the Ministry's policy to teach the students in a "risk free" way, by only reading through the theory. Not only were the lessons incredibly boring, the whole book was utterly useless.

"As if Voldemort will ask you the theory of Merlin's rule of categorisation of spells when he Avada-Kedavra's your ass", Y/n had scoffed when she saw the chapters. Draco had laughed, but told her that his father had owled him that Umbridge was a family ally, and hence he could not be out of line in her class.

"When did you become such a nerd?"

"Oh shut it Y/n", Y/n recalled.

She had also implemented some stupid rules, like "no touching between boys and girls, and a six feet distance at all times", and reduced the hours that students could go out of their dorms. While Dumbledore wanted the students to be at their dorms by 10pm, Umbridge thought that 6pm was acceptable.

As if.

Y/n entered the class, the only class she did not sit with Draco. Apparently, boys and girls could also not sit with one another, since they would eventually touch. And in a doomed world controlled by Umbridge, that was a sin.

Draco spotted his girlfriend entering the room, wearing a bored look on her face. He was not excited about DADA either. His parents might have told him that Umbridge was the best thing that could happen in this school, but he was not blind or stupid. The stuff being taught were useless and her teaching method was more boring than 5 hours of Divination with no breaks in his eyes. At least then, he could laugh at Trelawney. Now he just was supposed to stay silent and listen Umbridge reading the most basic book ever again and again.

He realised he got lost in his thoughts and was staring at Y/n longer than intended. She seemed bored as hell, but her eyes always intimidated him - yet, he would never admit out loud. Even the plainest of her looks had such passion beneath it, her deep dark orbs had a fire in them, surrounded by thick eyelashes, making her look coy and mischevious even when she was not planning to.

Y/n noticed him looking and smirked back at him.

"Stop staring, people might think that you like me" she mouthed silently to him. He grinned and shook his head. 'She is something else', he thought.

An unpleasantly familiar trotting of heels approached the creaking floor at the centre of the classroom, making students focus on the short, evil woman that was tormenting the school; Umbridge.

"Hello, my dear students" she smiled in a sickly manner. "Today we are learning about the theory of protection spells."

Y/n groaned, thinking other students would join her, however, it was this uncomfortable and awkward moment that everyone had decided to stay deadly silent, making her disapproving groan loud and clear to be heard.

"Is there an issue, miss Y/l/n?" Umbridge smiled in the evilest way she could.

"No, no, of course not. I always wanted to listen about the theory of protection spells." Y/n smiled in the fakest way possible.

"Is that irony I am sensing, Y/l/n?" Umbridge had a more serious look now, her smile not decieving anyone.

"Nope." She said, emphasising the "p" sound in her lips. Out of the corner of her eye, she quickly glanced to Draco, who had a warning glare. "Don't aggravate her!" He mouthed. Y/n rolled her eyes, and unfortunately for her, Umbridge saw that, taking it as it was directed at her.

She scrunched up her nose and stomped her heel lightly on the floor, when she exclaimed: "Detention after class, miss y/l/n! That attitude of yours is no match for a young witch!"

Draco did not know why everyone was saying Umbridge's detention was horrible, he had heard she only requested some lines. Even so, her detention had gained a horrible reputation, and he didn't like it one bit that his girlfriend would be the one going there.

Even so, he was angry at her, he had warned her so many times. She was such a brat every time she spoke to Umbridge, when he had told her that every student that was leaving her detention was crying.

The DADA lesson had finished, when Y/n saw Draco stomping towards her, stopping around the 6 feet limit, keeping his distance.

"Why do you never listen?!" His angry hissing voice aggravated her even more.

"I rolled my freaking eyes, Draco, chill."

"You were sarcastic. You know you were. Are you happy now?" His glare was piercing her soul.

"I am not, actually. I would prefer no stupid rules, but I guess my boyfriend is too much of a wuss to think for himself and see how ridiculous Umbridge is."

"She just wants order. Besides, its temporary!" He half whispered, half yelled.

"Sure. Tell that to yourself to feel better, darling." Now she was mad at him. "Now excuse me, I have a detention to go to." She closed the gap between them - breaking the rule- just to bump on his shoulder angrily, and stomped past him, going to detention.

"Fine! I don't give a fuck, then!" She heard her boyfriend's voice. She knew he didn't mean it at all, but she silently prayed he changed his mind after her detention, he had an hour to think by himself after all. She was hoping for an apology.

Y/n lightly knocked on her door, listening to Draco's advice for once. She should be polite, calm and collected no matter what she said to her. She couldn't risk an expulsion. Umbridge's sickly laugh was heard. "Come in, y/l/n."

Y/n opened the door, fighting back her urge to laugh or roll her eyes. Her least favourite colour, fuchsia pink, was plastered everywhere, cats trapped on the walls, and a heavy, sickly, sugary aroma filled her nostrils, she did her best to keep her pokerface.

"Sit", the teacher ordered. "You will do some lines today, Y/n."

Relief passed through her. That wasn't that bad. She grabbed a piece of paper and moved to grab her quill, when the fuchsia toad in front of her stopped her. "Oh no, dear. I'm afraid you wont need that." She smiled, and handed her a large black feathered quill from her own collection. "Use this, please. It is one of my favourites."

Y/n grabbed the quill and moved again to reach for her ink. "Oh, silly me, I forgot." She heard the professor giggle. "You won't need any ink, dear."

She looked at Umbridge confused, her tamed eyebrows furrowing to her words. Still, she went with it. She grabbed the quill and before she started, Umbridge directed her "you shall write the line: I must not be arrogant." Y/n resisted the urge to roll her eyes.

"How many times, Professor?" She said.

"Hm... let's just say... till it sinks in." Umbridge giggled once again, sipping her tea.

Y/n scoffed silently and started writing the lines, red ink magically appearing on paper. Her left hand was uncomfortable the whole time, but she ignored it. As soon as she finished the first line, though, the discomfort became a burning sensation, and hurt so much, like someone was creating small cuts in her skin. She looked at her hand to see what was going on, only to see the line she wrote engraved in her hand.

'You evil bitch' Y/n thought.

Every time she would rewrite the sentence, it was like the invisible knife digged deeper and deeper in her skin, twisting at each twist of the quill. She looked at Umbridge with teary eyes, a silent plea to stop this torture. Blood was seeping out of her wound uncontrollably now, staining her robe. Umbridge just glanced at her and said "one more page."

Through silent tears, a wrecked bloodied hand, trembles and gritted teeth, she finished her torture without making a sound. She excused her self, said goodbye to the professor, and closed the heavy door behind her, exhaling with a trembled sob escaping her lips. An exhale that she was holding for an hour.

She contained her tears and hid her hand from plain sight. She did not want to worry anyone, and she sprinted with all the energy she could muster to the dungeons. She just wanted to wash it off, wrap it in a clean cloth, and have a good cry.

As she was approaching the dungeons, it dawned on her: she could run up to Draco there. What should she do? On one hand, the thought of making him feel bad enticed her, she was still mad about his behaviour. On the other hand, she knew he meant no harm, and that he would make her start a legal war with Umbridge. She really didn't want to do anything right now, as much as she hated her guts.

She hid her hand better, wiped her eyes, took a few deep breaths and prayed that her boyfriend was not in the common room, as she opened the door.

Unbeknownst to her, Draco was waiting restlessly at the common room all this time. He didn't like the fact they fought before, he hated not being on good terms with Y/n. He didn't think he was entirely on the wrong though. 'Maybe if she listened to me once in a whi-'

His thoughts came to a halt when he saw a trembling Y/n enter the common room. Her eyes were red and glassy, and she was crouched in a weird position. He instantly forgot everything he was thinking of and sprinted towards her. When her eyes fell on him, she inhaled sharply, sttaightening her posture. He was terribly worried and she could feel it.

"Darling?" His soft voice was music to her ears.

Her eyes avoided his, refilling with tears just from his worried voice.

"I-I need to go to my room." She said with a lowered gaze.

"Tell me what's wrong please-"

"I thought you didn't give a fuck." Her voice was low when she said it, her teary eyes finally meeting his. She did not mean to snap at him, but everything was too much.

He finally locked eyes with her now, the emotion he saw in her overtaking him. He pursed his lips and looked down.

"I'm sorry. You know - baby you know thats not true. I want to know what happened. What did she say to you that made you cry? You don't cry easily, I know that. If you want I'll report her!" He was frantically searching for her gaze again, his grey irises full of concern.

"She said nothing bad to me. She instructed me through my lines." She avoided his gaze once again.

He lowered his gaze as well, and broke the -for once- uncomfortable silence, his voice slightly broken.

"Do you not trust me?"

His words echoed in her head. She did. She did with her life. She could not stay mad at him, no matter her anger. "I do. I'm sorry, I'm a-a bit of a m-mess, i'll tell you, j-just give me a few m-minutes..."

His hand grabbed hers to pull her into an embrace, to hold her close, to calm her. As soon as his hand grasped her own, though, a strong wave of stinging pain shot through her, a hissing sound escaping her lips as she yanked her hand away. She was holding it close to her heart, a few hot tears escaping her eyes. There was no escape now.

Draco looked at her wide eyed, a blank expression of confusion mixed with worry resting on his features. "What-"

He looked down on his hand. Blood.

He inhaled sharply. Blood? His heart was pounding in his chest now, his fury for Umbridge boiling. What exactly happened in her detentions?

"Darling." He spoke. His voice was low and steady, and Y/n could swear she could hear her own heartbeat. "Your hand. Please." He extended his own to signal her to give her hers. Slowly, she put her bloodied palm on his own.

"Did she do this?", he hissed angrily. Y/n nodded but winced at his tone, not ready for facing an angry Draco. He saw that, and his features calmed down.

He grasped her shoulders carefully, gently pulling her in a hug, lightly kissing her forehead and letting his lips linger there. He tilted her chin up, pressing a quick peck on her lips.

"Im not mad at you". He said steadily, to show he meant every word. "I'll kill her, honestly" he mumbled, as his eyes examined the wounds.

"I must not be arrogant?!?"

He felt his anger rise again, as he managed to read the cuts that were filled with blood.

"She h-had a black quill. I would write on paper and it would transfer the letters in m-my hand. Must be c-cursed." Y/n said between small sobs.

His one arm cradled her head and she felt him moving the other one on her waist, urging her to move. "Come on, lets get you cleaned up. I'll send a letter to my father. She will be out of her position tomorrow."

Y/n's eyes widened "No n-no I-"

Draco didn't let her finish "Y/n, I love you but please shut up."

For the first time in a while, Y/n giggled, music to Draco's ears.

He took his time being extra gentle on her wound, making sure it is clean, before putting a few healing spells on it, muttering apologies whenever Y/n would wince.

"Tomorrow your hand will be good as new. Trust me."

"I trust you Draco. Thank you."

His eyes looked up from her wound, and Y/n was sure she could melt. He had the softest gaze ever. They fell asleep in each other's embrace, soft kisses taking away the pain.

The next morning, Y/n could hardly stiffle a laugh at the annoucement of Umbridge being suddently fired. She turned at her boyfriend, who looked smug as ever.

His eyes glimmered and his eyebrows wiggled with smugness, as he said:

"She should not have been that arrogant. Guess karma is a bitch." He shrugged.

That Malfoy boy was your everything and you knew it.

FEEL FREE TO LIKE AND SHARE!! Feedback is always welcome, love you all!

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vivithefolle · 4 years ago

Note

Hermione has more complimentary traits with Harry than she does with Ron. Hermione is logical and thinks through her decisions while Harry is ruled by his emotions and follows his instincts. She's enthusiastic/cheerful he is more introverted and bitter. She motivates him to do better, and he reminds her that there are more important things than books and cleverness. Ron's humour gets on Hermione's nerves and her cleverness does the same to him. Their differences tear them instead of balancing.

HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH!!! HahahahahahHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Oh that’s a good one, oh thank you dude, oh I haven’t laughed this hard in... in like 24 hours, I saw a pretty great meme yesterday, but oh thank you that was hilarious.

...

... wait you were serious?

...

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHONHONHONHONHONHONHAHAHAHHONHONSNORTHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHOHOHOHAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHHEHEH HAAAAAAAAAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAH HAHAHAH HAHAHAH HAAHAHAHAHAAAAAA AAAAAH HAAAWWW... oh my god, oh my god... seriously you could build a whole ass circus out of that.

Alright! Now that the hilarity’s over...

Hermione has more complimentary traits with Harry than she does with Ron.

Prove it.

Hermione is logical and thinks through her decisions

... and sometimes she also makes very illogical decisions and acts very rash, see how she sets Snape on fire in first year which could have hurt everyone around, how she forgot she’s a witch, see how the Polyjuice plan was total bullshit and relied 100% on luck, see how she acted completely thoughtless to Ron in POA, see how she was completely harebrained at the end of OOTP due to pressure, her very thought-out reaction to Ron and Lavender being together, and such...

Harry is ruled by his emotions and follows his instincts

You realize you just described Ron too, pal? Ron’s role in the Trio is the Heart. Harry’s the Body, since everything revolves around him, Hermione’s the Brain, Ron is the Heart. That’s how they work.

She's enthusiastic/cheerful

......... cheerful?

Hermione?

Cheerful?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA(...)HAWHAWHAWHONHONHONHONHONHAHAHAHAHA(...)HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAhahahaha... haaaa...

Hermione may be enthusiastic about knowledge, but she’s not cheerful. She’s not the one who makes the jokes, she’s not the one who has a snarky comment on everything, she’s not the one who makes Harry laugh, she’s not the one who laughs at Harry’s jokes. That’s Ron’s job.

RON is the cheerful one. Sorry pal, better reread the books.

he is more introverted and bitter

Pro tip: this can also describe Hermione to a degree. Though Hermione isn’t exactly an introvert, she’s more of a socially awkward extrovert. She’s not reading quietly in a corner and demurely asking “oh please don’t talk to me, I just want to read :(” she’s more like “I READ THAT BOOK ABOUT [social injustice] AND IT’S CLEAR TO ME NOW THAT [social injustice] IS UNACCEPTABLE, DO YOU HAVE A MOMENT TO TALK ABOUT [social injustice], I’M GONNA RAISE FUNDS TO PROMOTE AWARENESS AND EDUCATE PEOPLE ON THIS SUBJECT WILL YOU JOIN ME, WHY WON’T YOU JOIN ME, COME BACK WE’RE NOT FINISHED WITH THIS-”

... or, I could also... show you.

From your own dear and esteemed “Harmony Bible” that is Order of the Phoenix. *snort* “Harmony Bible”... oh my god, the delusion, the delusion...

“It’s lessons with Snape that are making it worse,” said Harry flatly. “I’m getting sick of my scar hurting, and I’m getting bored walking down that corridor every night.” He rubbed his forehead angrily. “I just wish the door would open, I’m sick of standing staring at it —”

“That’s not funny,” said Hermione sharply. “Dumbledore doesn’t want you to have dreams about that corridor at all, or he wouldn’t have asked Snape to teach you Occlumency. You’re just going to have to work a bit harder in your lessons.”

“I am working!” said Harry, nettled. “You try it sometime, Snape trying to get inside your head, it’s not a bundle of laughs, you know!”

1. Example of Hermione not appreciating Harry’s humour

2. Example of Harry not liking Hermione’s “pushing him to do better”

Oooh, surprise! It’s not just Ron and Hermione that do the silent treatment to each other, Harry does it too! What a turn of events!

Hermione nodded, apparently still lost in thought. Then, quite abruptly, she said, “But you shouldn’t have seen this at all, Harry.”

“What?” he said, taken aback.

“You’re supposed to be learning how to close your mind to this sort of thing,” said Hermione, suddenly stern.

“I know I am,” said Harry. “But —”

“Well, I think we should just try and forget what you saw,” said Hermione firmly. “And you ought to put in a bit more effort on your Occlumency from now on.”

Harry was so angry with her that he did not talk to her for the rest of the day, which proved to be another bad one.

Ah, lying, avoiding the subject, refusing to consider her opinion... how harmonious. *gigglesnort*

“But why haven’t you got Occlumency lessons anymore?” said Hermione, frowning.

“I’ve told you,” Harry muttered. “Snape reckons I can carry on by myself now I’ve got the basics...”

“So you’ve stopped having funny dreams?” said Hermione skeptically.

“Pretty much,” said Harry, not looking at her.

“Well, I don’t think Snape should stop until you’re absolutely sure you can control them!” said Hermione indignantly. “Harry, I think you should go back to him and ask —”

“No,” said Harry forcefully. “Just drop it, Hermione, okay?”

Hmmm, funny how Harry acts more like a teenager trying to sneak out of bed on Mama Ron and Hermione’s watch rather than as “Hermione’s perfect flawless soulmate uwu”!

He had ended up saying to them truthfully that Sirius wanted Harry to resume Occlumency lessons. He had been regretting this ever since; Hermione would not let the subject drop and kept reverting to it when Harry least expected it.

“You can’t tell me you’ve stopped having funny dreams,” Hermione said now, “because Ron told me last night you were muttering in your sleep again...”

Harry threw Ron a furious look. Ron had the grace to look ashamed of himself.

Yes, she toooootally brings out “the best” of him... the best of all he’s learned at the Dursleys, which is avoidance, lying, deceiving... ha ha ha ha ha... oh, you guys, you’re so desperate, it’s almost cute. But then I remember that you keep bashing Ron and I stop feeling merciful.

“You are trying to block your mind, aren’t you?” said Hermione, looking beadily at Harry. “You are keeping going with your Occlumency?”

“Of course I am,” said Harry, trying to sound as though this ques-tion was insulting, but not quite meeting her eye. The truth was that he was so intensely curious about what was hidden in that room full of dusty orbs that he was quite keen for the dreams to continue.

Oh yes, he’s totally motivated to do better. He’s so motivated in fact he’s going to completely ignore her. And guess how that first date ends? With Sirius’ death. What a harmonious pairing.

“But Harry, you’ve just said it,” said Hermione fiercely. “Dumbledore wanted you to learn to shut these things out of your mind, if you’d done Occlumency properly you’d never have seen this —”

“IF YOU THINK I’M JUST GOING TO ACT LIKE I HAVEN’T SEEN —”

“Sirius told you there was nothing more important than you learn-ing to close your mind!”

“WELL, I EXPECT HE’D SAY SOMETHING DIFFERENT IF HE KNEW WHAT I’D JUST —”

And and and!! Hohohoho I’m not done!! Let me show you, I have SO MUCH to show you!!

As early as Goblet of Fire... Ah, and don’t say that this is “evil Ron’s evil influence of evilness :(” because Ron literally is harder-working than Harry in possibly every way because Ron doesn’t have the luxury of being the protagonist to promote him to, say, youngest Seeker in a century. Yeah, Ron’s not a Mary Sue like that. But I digress.

"It's Christmas, Hermione," said Harry lazily; he was rereading Flying with the Cannons for the tenth time in an armchair near the fire.

Hermione looked severely over at him too. "I'd have thought you'd be doing something constructive, Harry, even if you don't want to learn your antidotes!"

"Like what?" Harry said as he watched Joey Jenkins of the Cannons belt a Bludger toward a Ballycastle Bats Chaser.

"That egg!" Hermione hissed.

"Come on, Hermione, I've got till February the twenty-fourth," Harry said.

He had put the golden egg upstairs in his trunk and hadn't opened it since the celebration party after the first task. There were still two and a half months to go until he needed to know what all the screechy wailing meant, after all.

"I just thought you'd want to take advantage of the common room being quiet," she said. "Really get to work on that egg."

"Oh I - I reckon I've got a pretty good idea what it's about now," Harry lied.

"Have you really?" said Hermione, looking impressed. "Well done!"

Harry’s insides gave a guilty squirm, but he ignored them. He still had five weeks to work out that egg clue, after all, and that was ages... whereas if he went into Hogsmeade, he might run into Hagrid, and get a chance to persuade him to come back.

... but you know what makes Harry change his mind about lying about the egg? Or rather, who?

So you may argue that oh là là, Harry feels guilty for lying to his great soulmate Hermoanie and waah isn’t it so romantic...

Even though Harry can and does acknowledge that Hermione means well… it’s not enough for him. He will lie, avoid her, and go behind her back, like a child would with their parent, and even though he may feel guilty about it, it’s not enough to deter him.

Hagrid's miserable face broke into a wide, watery smile.

"Tha's my boy. . . you show 'em, Harry, you show 'em. Beat 'em all."

Lying to Hagrid wasn't quite like lying to anyone else. Harry went back to the castle later that afternoon with Ron and Hermione, unable to banish the image of the happy expression on Hagrid's whiskery face as he had imagined Harry winning the tournament. The incomprehensible egg weighed more heavily than ever on Harrys conscience that evening, and by the time he had got into bed, he had made up his mind - it was time to shelve his pride and see if Cedric's hint was worth anything.

And of course Half-Blood Prince, and if you try to tell me “buuutt hermoanie was ooc :((((” you can put a cactus up your rear you coward.

Welp. Not Ron, not Hermione. Hagrid.

Welcome to the world, Ha... Hagry? Harrid? Oh whatever. Here you go, Hagrid brings the best out of Harry, Harry feels more guilt at the thought of lying to Hagrid than anyone else. OTP.

She’s certainly not encouraging Harry to try new stuff. How is that supposed to help him improve? How is that supposed to make him do better?

“How are you doing that?” demanded Hermione, who was redfaced and whose hair was growing bushier and bushier in the fumes from her cauldron; her potion was still resolutely purple.

“Add a clockwise stir—”

“No, no, the book says counterclockwise!” she snapped.

Harry shrugged and continued what he was doing.

For or the rest of the week’s Potions lessons Harry continued to follow the Half-Blood Prince’s instructions wherever they deviated from Libatius Borage’s, with the result that by their fourth lesson Slughorn was raving about Harry’s abilities, saying that he had rarely taught anyone so talented. Neither Ron nor Hermione was delighted by this. Although Harry had offered to share his book with both of them, Ron had more difficulty deciphering the handwriting than Harry did, and could not keep asking Harry to read aloud or it might look suspicious. Hermione, meanwhile, was resolutely plowing on with what she called the “official” instructions, but becoming increasingly bad-tempered as they yielded poorer results than the Prince’s.

In fact

(dyslexic!Ron dyslexic!Ron dyslexic!Ron)

Well isn’t that fun? Harry is being the “best” at something... and Hermione doesn’t like it.

Incredibly, and to Hermione’s increasing resentment, Harry’s best subject had suddenly become Potions, thanks to the Half-Blood Prince.

she seems

The only person who did not find these charms amusing was Hermione, who maintained a rigidly disapproving expression throughout and refused to talk at all if Harry had used the Muffliato spell on anyone in the vicinity.

to hate

Hermione's expression could not have been any smugger; she had loathed being out-performed in every Potions class. She was now decanting the mysteriously separated ingredients of her poison into ten different crystal phials. More to avoid watching this irritating sight than anything else, Harry bent over the Half-Blood Prince's book and turned a few pages with unnecessary force.

that Harry is doing great.

(Oh look. Harry is irritated at the mere sight of Hermione. Well that’s definitely a hint they should marry!!! /s)

“Are you telling me,” said Hermione, “that you're going to go back—?”

“And get the book? Yeah, I am,” said Harry forcefully. "Listen, without the Prince I'd never have won the Felix Felicis. I'd never have known how to save Ron from poisoning, I'd never have—”

“—got a reputation for Potions brilliance you don't deserve,” said Hermione nastily.

And then let’s remember Hermione still nattering about Occlumency through Deathly Hallows, or how she breaks Harry’s wand and Harry is “desiring nothing more than to get away from her”, and all that... ah but of course you won’t ever see that in all your “Harmony” analyses, because there’s no way to spin that positively... ha ha ha...

Accomplishing his mission from Dumbledore? Saving Ron’s life? Nah, Hermione is more concerned with one thing: having her top spot back.

*slow clap* Friend. Of. The. Year. Why does anyone like this character again? Selfish brat.

he reminds her that there are more important things than books and cleverness

You have again stolen Ron’s qualities to pretend they’re Harry’s/Hermione’s.

And here they come... the receipts... all the receipts...

This happens right during the Firebolt fight. It’s still Ron who cares for Hermione, even though he’s angry with her, while Harry is like “oh ok but gotta finish Snape’s essay tho”. Priorities.

“How’s she doing it?” Ron muttered to Harry one evening as Harry sat finishing a nasty essay on Undetectable Poisons for Snape. Harry looked up. Hermione was barely visible behind a tottering pile of books.

“Doing what?”

“Getting to all her classes!” Ron said. “I heard her talking to Professor Vector, that Arithmancy witch, this morning. They were going on about yesterday’s lesson, but Hermione can’t’ve been there, because she was with us in Care of Magical Creatures! And Ernie McMillan told me she’s never missed a Muggle Studies class, but half of them are at the same time as Divination, and she’s never missed one of them either!”

Harry didn’t have time to fathom the mystery of Hermione’s impossible schedule at the moment; he really needed to get on with Snape’s essay. Two seconds later, however, he was interrupted again, this time by Wood. - Prisoner of Azkaban

It’s Ron who understands that Hermione is driving herself mad. Ron, not Harry. Bye, can’t hear you over the canon facts.

“I don’t believe it!” Hermione wailed. “Was Professor Flitwick angry? Oh, it was Malfoy, I was thinking about him and I lost track of things!”

“You know what, Hermione?” said Ron, looking down at the enormous Arithmancy book Hermione had been using as a pillow. “I reckon you’re cracking up. You’re trying to do too much.”

“No, I’m not!” said Hermione, brushing her hair out of her eyes and staring hopelessly around for her bag. “I just made a mistake, that’s all! I’d better go and see Professor Flitwick and say sorry... I’ll see you in Divination!” - Prisoner of Azkaban

Later on...

Hermione looked down at her hardly touched plate of food, then put her knife and fork down upon it and pushed it away from her.

"Oh c'mon, 'Er-my-knee," said Ron, accidentally spraying Harry with bits of Yorkshire pudding. "Oops - sorry, 'Arry -" He swallowed. "You won't get them sick leave by starving yourself!"

"Slave labor," said Hermione, breathing hard through her nose. "That's what made this dinner. Slave labor."

And she refused to eat another bite.

[…]

"Treacle tart, Hermione!" said Ron, deliberately wafting its smell toward her. "Spotted dick, look! Chocolate gateau!"

But Hermione gave him a look so reminiscent of Professor McGonagall that he gave up. - Goblet of Fire, chapter 12

Dinner was a subdued affair that night. Harry and Ron did not talk much, but ate with gusto, having studied hard all day. Hermione, on the other hand, kept putting down her knife and fork and diving under the table for her bag, from which she would seize a book to check some fact or figure. Ron was just telling her that she ought to eat a decent meal or she would not sleep that night, when her fork slid from her limp fingers and landed with a loud tinkle on her plate. - Order of the Phoenix, chapter 31

Hmm, now it looks to me that Harry is mostly oblivious to Hermione and it’s Ron who’s taking care of her. But hey, “hArMoAnY” I guess!

Ron's humour gets on Hermione's nerves

Fake news, it’s actually Harry’s humour that Hermione doesn’t like.

Really, just read this essay, written by someone who actually read the books without cherry-picking them, it should show you how blatanly wrong you are.

her cleverness does the same to him.

*deep breath*

WHY YOU ALWAYS LYIIIIIIN, WHY THE FUCK YOU LYIIIIIIN, OH MY GOD STOP FUCKIN LYING

Again, a comprehensive list of BOOK QUOTES because I’ve dedicated too much time to proving you wrong: https://www.quora.com/How-many-times-has-Ron-Weasley-supported-Hermione-and-told-her-how-amazing-and-talented-she-is/answer/Issy-Dodds

Anyway Anon...

Your ‘Harmony’ is built on a pile of lies, blatant Ron Weasley erasure and a creepy fetishistic obsession with making a teenage girl look like she’s the ideal life partner for a guy who blatantly does NOT want her to be his life partner. Yall have issues.

#vivi answers #ask #anti harmony #harry potter #hermione granger #ron weasley #not just the clown but the whole circus #hp meta

172 notes · View notes

henqtic · 4 years ago

Text

"𝘠𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘏𝘢𝘪𝘳 𝘚𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘴 𝘎𝘰𝘰𝘥 ”

Summary: Draco making you feel better about your hair insecurities throughout your years at Hogwarts.

Word Count: 3.7k+

A/N-hey well this is the first fic I’ve ever written and I don’t think it’s too good but please leave some feedback I would really appreciate it :) just looking forward to improving, this story includes a black/POC reader I just feel that there’s not a lot of stories that actually include us yk ? Because I don’t think I’m able to just put my hair up in a messy bun and go out lol.//ALSO there's no Voldemort and some of the years/dates will be off but I don’t think that matters much in this story:)

masterlist // taglist form.

“It’s a toner” “for your hair”,she concluded in a way that was almost innocent but didn’t cover up the obvious amusement in her tone. Her box braids were flowing behind her, the two different colors blending together in a way to almost resemble Narcissa Malfoys. It was more of a Draco decision, he went on for months saying how if you got white hair you would look like an honorary Malfoy. Which he was already planning on making you sooner or later.

(:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅[̲̅:♡:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅)

“Darling your fascination with these muggle products is getting out of hand. Are you ill? Oh merlin, maybe it’s that muggle flu,”he said as he put a hand on your forehead.

In his defense he was actually worried about you.You owled him with a note that read

Dear Draco,

I think I’ve just found the best bloody gift ever,I was just walking around one of those muggle stores and found i! I don’t want to ruin the surprise but the I just thought of you when I saw it.

love, y/n.

He honestly expected a bag of green apples that you two shared a liking of but never in a million years did he expect you to show up with purple bottle labeled as “Purple Shampoo”.And what hurt most is that he was the first person you thought of when you looked at it.Of course he was the only platinum blonde you had seen with such bright hair, other than Luna Lovegood. But he was still deciding on if he should take offense or not.

“No Draco, I’m perfectly fine” You stated as you stated his hand away like a fly.“I just think that your hair may need a bit of toning to it.” You said as you looked at your boyfriend, he really did look beautiful in the sun.

The way the sun would bounce off of his skin and hair giving him this sort of glow.The way he ever so slightly had his eyes squinted because he could barely see when it was this bright outside.He was really a sight to see.He wore a faint smile that made your stomach erupt with butterflies every time you saw him, even now.

You told him that if he continued to bully Harry on how his glasses made him look like Dumbledore without a beard would come back to him.And of course it did.

You were sitting beside Draco under a tree at his family's manor.The sky had a few clouds but nonetheless it was sunny there were butterflies flying around and variations of colors of flowers all around you.You had helped Narcissa plant some of the flowers and it was nice to see how it all came out.

“I think my hair looks perfectly fine, why would I want to “tone it” He looked at you as if you had personally insulted his mother.

“Draco, darling, your hair is almost brighter than the sun” you said and you were so close to bursting out in laughter.

He looked at you faking an offended expression.

“Most likely stiffer than the grass we’re sitting on at this moment”

“oh that’s enough” at that moment he shifted his weight over to you and started to tickle you non stop.

“Please I’m sorry I take back all of my words” you said in out of breath tone.Your laugh was probably the best sound to him.

He continued with his antics, “say my hair is the most beautiful this world” it wasn't even a second thought to him to follow up with a,“other than yours of course” he always had a way of making you feel appreciated for the multiple ways you did your hair through out your school years and even now.

Fourth Year

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In the summer before your fourth year at hogwarts,you had decided that you wanted to try something new and get locs. It was something you always thought of but never really got the courage to do.

You always would just tell yourself “I think I’d miss my hair, even if doing it is a pain I’ll never stop loving it.”

That changed.Of course you’d missed your hair but getting locs, something you've been anticipating for a long time sounded a bit more exciting than doing your hair everyday.

It was finally the Gryffindor vs Slytherin quidditch game.Everyone had been looking forward to this.Every Slytherin, Gryffindor game always involved some sort of drama and it was the best.That day was nice up until it was completely and utterly ruined.

When the game was over Pansy Parkinson had shouted out to you and Angelina Johnson that your hair looked of worms.Angelina Johnson was probably the only Gryffindor you could put up with.Maybe it was because of the fact that she was an older black girl with her natural hair out and you desperately wanted tips on how to make yours look like hers.You and Angelina had quickly became friends in your first and her third year.She was more of a sister figure for you and when she went on about how nice Fred looked this year and the next you went on about how annoyingly hot Draco got third year She had teased you endlessly for it but you really couldn’t help it.

You didn’t know why it hurt so much coming from her but when that happened you were so close to crying.You were going to say something until Ginny Weasley said some very choice words to Pansy that left her as red as a tomato and she ran of the pitch.For someone with so much bark she absolutely no bight after that, you thanked Ginny and she responded with saying “There’s no reason to thank me Parkinson needed someone to finally give it to her” She then went up to Harry Potter and said he did good in the game.

“I don’t know if she knows her crush on him is obvious” You thought as you and Angelia walked back to the castle together planning on how to get Pansy back.

You heard the girl beside you try to stop a laugh from coming out so you just assumed you said that out loud.as always.

”Do you know what she has against you?”Angelina asked

Even though Pansy was in your house she never much liked you for some reason.

“I think it’s from first year when I slapped her hand off of my hair.” You laughed “She was playing with the beads as if they were some kind of toy”

“She absolutely deserved it!” Angelia responded with a laugh.

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Much to you and Angelina’s dismay someone had gotten to Pansy before you.She ran into the great hall shrieking and when you looked the first thing that came to mind was low quality Medusa.Her long thin black hair now replaced with black worms.Everyone in the great hall was laughing at her condition.Even many of the Slytherins you were surrounded by, it was almost sad how her own house didn’t like her. almost.

Why would she even come into the great hall looking like that? You thought out loud on accident.You really needed to work on that.It wasn’t much of a problem though, because many of your pupils next to you nodded mindlessly at your statement in agreement.

You had guessed Angelina had told Fred about the incident, he told McGonagall, or as he said Minnie (you didn’t know how he even got to that level),and she must have informed the other teachers.

She ran out of the great hall when she noticed no one not even a teacher was going to help her.Not even her own head of house, it was nice to know that Snape was on your side on this you felt pretty bad now when in class all you thought about was how greasy his hair was and how you should probably anonymously drop off some shampoo for him.

“Hey maybe I should tell the twins about that one.Nope y/n you are a nice person who does nice things you thought as you tried to remove the voice that told you that’s Snape would mostly likely like some Muggle Brand “Head and Shoulders Shampoo” Although you’d never be caught dead using it, it could never hurt to try it on someone else.y/n stop.Nice thoughts.”Oh but imagine him trying to put his hair up and the hair tie is too greasy to ho-” You decided to turn your attention to something more valuable at that point.

The real question was who had done it.You turned over to the Gryffindor table.Your back had been facing Angelina’s.You two always did this seeing as many students at school didn’t know that touching someone’s hair randomly without even asking was weird.Angelina had found a solution saying “We should sit with our backs facing each other,Then no one from the other table can random tug at our hair.” You agreed to the idea saying that it was brilliant.

You asked with a giddy expression asking her “did you do it without me?”

She shook her head and said “no maybe it was Fred or George”.

You would’ve thought that the girl was drugged up on love potion seeing how easily she forgot what she was about to ask and looked at Fred with heart eyes going on about a completely different topic.

You rolled your eyes with a smile and looked around the great hall and your eyes landed on him.He was already looking at you.Your hair.You made the decision of adding gold accessories to it today. Angelina had had a long talk with you saying how “Parkinson was only jealous because the last remotely good hairstyle she had was the bob in your third year” You decided that you still wanted to add something to your hair to make yourself feel better.Not for the acceptance of the others and how they think your hair “should look”.

When he finally looked into your eyes you raised your eyebrows in expectance.You were almost waiting for him to say some sort of mean comment about you.

The truth was Draco was absolutely enthralled by you.He liked how when in first year you came into school with your hair in braids and beads of light brown, dark brown, and white beads.He liked when in second year you started to wear your hair out more often.The way it would always smell of Shea or Coconut.

But who was he to go up to a random person who barely knew him and say “oh your hair smells really nice”

He noticed how other kids would sometimes touch your hair and you obviously didn’t like that.You noticed that Draco wasn’t going to make some sort of mean comment you realized it was him who did it.You mouthed a “thank you” with a grateful smile and Draco nodded and smiled warmly.

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Weird thing is Draco probably gained his crush on you when he said saw that you two had both used an excessive amount of gel in your hair.

It was a dark time, second year, for you, and your hair, where slick backs were the only real things you knew how to do to style your hair.You wanted so badly to be like the other girls in your house who don’t even have to try with getting their hair up in the morning.Draco didn't mind though.

He liked when in third year you decided to wear your hair in an afro. He hated when he found you in a corner crying because some slytherin boys had said how your hair was “Worse than poor mudblood Grangers”.

Third Year

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He liked when he made up a story to his father and got the boys detention in the forbidden forest with Hagrid.He liked when he charmed a butterfly hair clip that he had charmed to flutter it's wings and left it on the outside of your dorm door.He had hoped none of your roommates would get to it before you did.

As he walked down the stairs and said in almost incoherent tone “They better not bloody get to it before her. What idiot would possibly think a flat golden butterfly clip y/n’s favorite animal was theirs? Merlin and who in their right mind would think that a baby blue box with the name y/n on it in golden letters was theirs?”

“Honestly” he scoffed as he continued down the steps he was met with Blaise Zambini’s wide grin.They walked side by side in silence until Blaise spoke up.

“Mate you’re absolutely whipped, sneaking to her dorm before she wakes up to drop off a clip?” He turned over to Draco and was met with a scowl that looked like it could kill.It didn’t phase him though and he continued with a wide grin.

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Blaise had known his friend had some infatuation with the girl ever since their second year when y/n passed by them and Draco leaned over and asked in an anxious tone,”Hey Blaise do ya think it'd be weird to tell someone their hair smells good”.

They had been working on finishing their potions essay and when he looked up he was met with a sight of his friends head in his hand as he admired you from across the common room.

Blaise obviously didn't want him to ruin his chance before he even got one, he smirked and answered with,”Mate.Yes.Don’t do that.” He looked over at Draco in a side eye way.Of course Draco didn’t notice he was too busy staring at you as you talked with Daphne Greengrass about with boy you think is the cutest at Hogwarts.He was trying to get closer to hear your response, in the process almost tipping over his ink. Blaise grabbed the ink swiftly and said in a stern tone ”I’m not kidding, that’d be bloody weird.”

“Right, it would be” he said in an almost dazed tone as he shook his head and went back to writing his potions essay.

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He liked you when you walked into the great hall ten minutes late with your group of friends.You had a slicked back ponytail with the clip right on the right side of it.

He liked you when he heard you say to your friends “Godric I’m telling you guys I love the person who gave me this clip” You said as you took the clip out your hair with a bright smile that in Draco’s opinion could make guy swoon “and get this the wings move, isn’t that brilliant?”

He was overjoyed that you seemed to enjoy the new presence of the butterfly clip.Blaise nudged him and widened his eyes.Draco finally got out of his daze and noticed you gave him a smile he quickly smiled back and looked down trying to hide the blush on his face as he looked down at his plate.

He could hear Blaise snickering on the side of him muttering something about “its sad you can’t just tell her already”

Fifth Year

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Draco was never the guy on the other end of the bullying but when Profferer Moody had transformed him into a ferret he was completely humiliated.He quickly responded with a harsh “My father will hear about this!”

That’s when he noticed you at the front of the crowd with almost tears in your eyes as you told McGonogall what happened.You really did always look perfect in his eyes.Your melanated skin was shining in the sun practically counting off the sun and that shimmering butterfly clip halfway flying around on your hair.Something about you just couldn’t stop Draco from looking admiring you.He decided to run and probably go hide somewhere from all of the humiliation.He was running so fast probably crying at this point over what happened that he couldn’t even hear some footsteps following him and few minutes later.

He was sitting down in some old nook in the castle crying of humiliation. Muttering words of “How dare he stick me down of all people bloody Crabbe’s pants” and “Godric in front of her too”.

He could barely hear the small and careful “Hi” you gave to him.

He quickly looked up with a harsh glare and when he noticed it was you his eyes softened and he responded with a small “Hey”.He then put his face back into his hands hoping that you would just go away. Even if he wanted you to stay.

“Merlin, she really is seeing me like this,” He thought.

He felt her sit by him and their legs practically touching.When she touched he flinched a bit at the contact.His father and mother did love him but his dad Lucius didn’t exactly show it through physical touch and he obviously couldn’t get his mum to come to the school and give him some kind of goodnight hug could he?

“Oh I’m sorry,I probably shouldn’t have done that,” She spoke in a rushed and apologetic tone as she started to move over to give him space.

“No you’re fine just not used to it is all” y/n felt herself saddened at those words and took it as an invitation to grab one of his hands and lace their fingers together.

At this point Draco felt like he was going to explode and even if his hands were wet from his tears he wasn’t about to pull his hand away.”Um, Draco, I just wanted to say that Moody had no right doing that” “Teachers aren’t even aloud to that here, even though you were coming after potter no one deserves that.

“Thanks for coming to comfort me, it really erm, means a lot from you” He said as he looked down at your hands the paleness of his and the brown tones of your contrasting against each other. The sight really did make his stomach erupt with butterflies but all Draco could come up with was he felt sick but a good sick.The girl he liked didn’t laugh at him when he got turned into a bloody ferret and she actually took the time to check up on him. That was enough for him.

“I’m happy it does” you said as you looked foward with a small content smile.They sat in a comfortable silence for a few seconds before y/n spoke “If it means anything,I think you make an adorable ferret” y/n said with a small laugh.Draco let out a breathy laugh and before he could even think he blurted out “Your hair smells really nice”

Really Draco he thought you get her to sit next. to you, hold your hand, and you told her hair smells good?? Why can’t we just listen to Blaise Godric wha-” His racing thoughts were interrupted by y/n.

“Oh-Um well thank you” She responded with a small nod and a content smile and she knew this was the time.She turned to the boy beside her and said “you were the ones to get those boys detention for me right”

Draco looked up at her for the first time since she sat down eyes red and wide.He became a rambling mess and started to awkwardly state, “Well erm y-you know I just thought they deserved it b-becau-”

“And I’m also assuming you’re the one to give this clip?” She interrupted with the brightest smile her and Draco now looking at each other.

“Well erm-yes” he said meekly. He was still holding your hand resisting the urge to look down at them forever.

“How’d you know?” You said eagerly. Draco looked at you a bit confused until you said “How’d you know that a butterfly is my favorite animal?”

Draco started to gain some confidence and said “Well I had been having a bloody crush on you since first year so I thought it was only appropriate to know your favorite animal at least ” He hadn’t noticed what he had just revealed as he continued to tell y/n things.“I’m really sorry about the hair comment too” He rambled “It's just that I've been waiting to get that compliment in since second year.” He mumbled in a way that was almost too low to hear then spoke up,“Blaise told me it was rather odd and that I shouldn’t tell you th-”

That’s when he noticed her face.As if he hadn’t been admiring her for the past five years of his school life.She wore a look that was giving off all different kinds of emotions but the one that was mainly seen was happiness and appreciation.

“Godric no” y/n breathed out “I think that’s the best sort of compliment I could get” Draco looked at her brightly then she continued “and well” She started looking down at their entangled hands “I’ve liked you for a long time too” “If you wanted to know” She looked up at him and he was in a sort of shock? It was like he was waiting for her to say “only joking” and run away like one of the weasels.but she didn’t.

“Draco” She said in a singsong tone as she waved a hand in front of his now almost red face.

“Merlin” he breathed out with the brightest smile he could make “Well in that case IwaswonderingifyouwouldliketgotoHogsmeadewithme” He said in the fasted way he could ready to repeat it before she chirped back a quick, “Yes! Of Course!”

“I-” Draco started to repeat, “Wait you understood that?” He spoke back with an inquisitive look.

“I mean if you don’t want me to say yes-” She teased with a sly grin.

“No,I mean yes,I like that you like me and that you’re going to go to Hogsmeade with me,” he affirmed in a rushed manner.

“Perfect!” She responded “How about we go clean you up then yea?”

“Right, that’ll be for the best,” he said with a small smile.

They shyly held hands the rest of the way walking to the prefects bathrooms and y/n helped clean up Draco. They finally talked with one another and Draco finally got the girl he was going after for five years.

Present Time

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“Fine fine alright” You sighed in defeat.

“Draco Malfoy your hair is THE most beautiful thing in this world.”

He had stop attacking you at this point and you two were in a criss cross position in front of each other, you were holding his face in both of your hands and the both of you were smiling like absolute idiots.

He looked at your with a grin that he was failing at trying to hide with a pointed expression.

You rolled your eyes and said “except for mine of course”

Draco Malfoy was by far the most dramatic person you’ve ever met in your life.

One day you were in a bookshop and told him that if he went to a muggle school he would be an spectacular theatre kid.Draco for some reason had taken that to great offense and went on saying how “his own bloody girlfriend doesn’t love him” and how “she thinks I’d be in some sort of theatrical arts like Pottah and his unruly ballet”

You honestly didn’t know if Draco was trying to be funny on purpose sometimes or if the things he said just flowed out like silk unlike his hair.

Now you sat under the big tree in the Malfoy Manor garden with Draco’s head on your lap, taking about how just because the conditioner is apple scented it doesn't make it any less bad for your hair.

A/N- hey lol, Anyways this is my first fic. I would really like any constructive criticism, anything you noticed off, or anything that you think needs improvements.I really haven't written anything non school related in a long time and I really want to get back into it :)

Also it might just be me but if any one gave a comment on my hair and it included “your hair smells good” I would just dies on spot.maybe that's just me lol.Lastly, if you didn’t know I based using a bunch of gel in your in a second year off of myself lol so let’s just say my hair was not the best.Anyways have a good night or day <3

#draco fluff #draco malfoy x poc #draco malfoy #angelina johnson #pansy parkinson #slytherin reader #blaise #blaise zambini #harry potter #draco x yn #draco x slytherin!reader #draco x you #draco imagine #narcissa malfoy #draco imagines #harry potter fluff #draco x poc reader #malfoy

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startanewdream · 4 years ago

Text

Hope (is all I have)

Summary: They never told James that being a parent meant worrying about your kid all the time.

Or how James deals with the fact that Harry is leaving for an unknown quest.

Set during HP and the Deathly Hallows.

Below the cut or over AO3 - warning for mildly swear:

____________________

'No', is the first word James says after fifteen minutes of silence while hearing Harry explain in a quiet voice how he is not going back to Hogwarts next year. 'You are not going to leave like that'.

Harry just blinks, looking at his father with an eerily calm that doesn't do anything to relax James.

His son is not even seventeen yet. He shouldn't be so at ease talking about a mysterious task set by a dead man.

'I have to', Harry says with all the conformism of someone that's been recruited for war, and James wonders at what point his son has just become that.

A soldier.

And then that lingering annoyance he had felt in the last nine months with Dumbledore increases, turning into burning anger, pure hatred for the former headmaster, and James has a mind to go to Hogwarts scream at his portrait.

How could you die and leave a mission for my son? You told me you would help protect him. You told me I could trust you. You never told me you were sending him to do your bidding.

He remembers that day, almost one year ago, when Dumbledore had called for James and Lily, had given each an Order mission - both weird, but they had trusted him as always - and then had told them he would be meeting Harry the next year.

‘You know about the prophecy’, Dumbledore had reminded them. ‘There are things Harry need to understand if Voldemort comes for him again’.

Lily had grasped James’ hand and had asked: ‘Will this help him?’

‘Everything I tell him is of the utmost importance’.

‘And you can’t tell us?’, James had asked, but he already knew the answer. Years being in the Order had taught him no one - except Dumbledore - ever knew everything, and, as Remus would put, it all would come down to the fact whether they trusted Dumbledore or not.

James and Lily had decided to place their trust in him a long time ago.

‘Will it help him to… survive? Will you protect him?’, James asked then, and Dumbledore had given him a soft smile.

‘I will’, Dumbledore had promised and that somehow had made James feel better.

No matter the secrecy, he believed Dumbledore cared for Harry too.

But now Dumbledore is dead, killed by someone he dared to trust in - Severus Snape, of course, a Death Eater never changes ways, does he, and Snape had never got over their childhood animosity - and James knows how it feels to put all your trust in the wrong person.

But he can’t allow Dumbledore’s plans to go on like this - isn’t his death prove that not even he could foresee everything? That maybe his plans were miscalculated?

'James…', Lily calls him softly, but he can pretend he didn't hear. He is angry at her too, because she heard Harry's warning that he would be leaving without a shadow of surprise on her face as if she had always known what Harry would do.

And she had not warned him before.

If she had, James could have… he could have stopped Harry's plan somehow, could have talked to his son, could have thought of another way, any other way just to Harry wouldn't be leaving them, could have prepared in advance his arguments…

Except Harry never asked for their permission, never asked what his parents thought about it.

He just announced he will be leaving.

'You are too young, Harry!', James cries and Harry doesn't even blink. A year ago he would have fought James for this statement, would have been mad and insisted he was old enough, but now his son is just waiting patiently and quietly, not wanting to fight. This does not calm him. 'There is nothing you “have to do”, other than going back to school and -’

‘Dad’, Harry cuts him off softly. ‘I love Hogwarts, you know it. I wouldn’t be dropping out of school if it didn’t matter, if it wasn’t important for all of us’.

‘Leaving school for something you can’t even tell us? That doesn’t make sense! We are in the Order, if there was anything to be done then Dumbledore -’

‘Dumbledore told me I shouldn’t tell anyone’, Harry says loyally and for once James hates this particular trait of Harry, wishes his son weren’t so stubborn.

Except he probably was the one that taught Harry how to stick to his beliefs. This thought also doesn’t calm him.

James scoffs.

‘As if Ron and Hermione don’t know’.

‘He allowed me to tell them’, Harry agrees shamelessly. ‘But only them’, he adds, looking at James, and that’s how he knows that Harry and Dumbledore have discussed this in one of their mysterious meetings and that Dumbledore expressly didn’t want James and Lily to know.

The anger burns brighter. They are his parents; they should know.

‘And they are coming with you? To whatever you are doing?’

A fierce expression crosses Harry’s face.

‘They don’t have to’, Harry says, and there is pride and love in his voice as he talks of his friends. ‘But they are choosing to’.

They are barely out of age, James thinks. How can you want your friends by your side but not your parents? How can Dumbledore think that three teenagers are better than parents who would die for you?

Why Dumbledore didn’t want, James and Lily to be there for Harry?

‘You are not going’, James repeats, crossing his arms, and Lily turns to frown at him.

‘James’, she calls him again, her voice loud and reprehensive now.

‘You can’t forbid me, Dad’, Harry says, sounding sad, as if he wishes James could actually do that. ‘I’ll be of age in two weeks - your love protection will be over then, and there will be nothing standing between me and Voldemort. That’s how it has to be’.

‘No’, James disagrees forcefully. ‘I will be there between you two. Once again. I will find him before you do if I have to -’

‘No!’, Harry cries, looking distressed now. ‘You can’t go - there are things that need to be done first - things you don’t understand -’

‘Then TELL ME!’

Lily grabs his arm now, calling for him, but James’ eyes don’t get away from Harry - who doesn’t flinch when James cried, who is once again calm and composed.

His son is so certain of his destiny - going on an unknown mission to defeat Voldemort - that he is at peace.

Somehow this makes James more furious.

‘I can’t’.

‘Can’t or won’t?’

‘Both’, Harry says, and James feels a sudden urge to throw things, to hex something, to do anything instead of feeling helpless like that.

Harry doesn’t want him, doesn’t need him and while James always knew this day would come - the one where Harry is an adult, where he makes his own decisions -, he never thought it would be like this.

‘Fuck, Harry’, he whispers. ‘That’s not what I wanted for you - you should be worried about school and what you are going to do after graduation and… Merlin, you have a girlfriend, you can’t just -’

‘We broke up’, Harry tells him and now James can see a crack in Harry’s coolness.

‘What? That’s why you are going? Can’t deal with a heartbreak and –‘

‘No, I – I was the one to end things’.

‘You fancied Ginny for ages, what were you thinking -’

‘James’, Lily cuts him, looking sadly at Harry. ‘He did it for her own good. To protect her’.

Of course. Doing the noble thing is so like his son.

But James shakes his head.

‘He would protect her a lot more if he were by her side! How can you think that - that leaving her alone is better?’ Harry’s face is pale now, but James can’t stop, not if he is seeing something that can make Harry doubt his mission, if it’s enough to make him stay. ‘You will just left her behind - don’t you care how she will feel not knowing what is -’

'I care, that's why -'

'If you really care you wouldn't leave!'

‘James!’, Lily cries now, her face red, making them both jump. She looks livid. ‘Harry, go to your room’.

‘Me?’, Harry asks, surprised and annoyed. ‘I didn’t -’

‘Just go, Harry. We will talk later’.

The fact that Harry looks at his mother’s face and seems to understand at once what is there doesn’t make James any better.

‘In my office, now’, Lily tells him, pushing him inside the room, and James has a mind to fight her, but he won’t for this. All his focus will be on arguing with Harry.

Lily closes the door, casting an Imperturbable Charm on the door, and turns to James with anger that immediately rises his own. She is mad at him? While she stayed cool and calm with Harry, who will be leaving them for God knows why?

In fact, now he realizes Lily didn’t say anything to dissuade Harry of his plans, almost as if she expected him to go on, almost as if she agrees with what he is doing.

He can’t believe that.

‘What the hell were you thinking?’, Lily hisses to him. ‘Playing the guilty card on him?’

James crosses his arms, refusing to stand down.

‘I will play any cards I have to, Lily’.

‘Our son already has the craziest saving-people thing I ever heard of. Do you really want to make him worried about Ginny while he is away? Do you know what this will do to him?’

‘I don’t care as long as he stays. He can’t go’.

Her eyes are on fire.

‘Stop pretending otherwise, James, Harry will go anyway’.

‘I won’t -’

‘You can’t stop him. I can’t stop him. Don’t you think I want to lock him in his room and don’t let him leave until this bloody war is over?’

‘Do you?’, James counters, seeing no reason. ‘Because you didn’t say a word about him going’.

‘Of course I don’t want him to go! But Harry will be an adult soon and he gets to make his own choices. I won’t stand in his way’.

‘Well, I will! I will make him feel guilty or anything I have to do to -’

‘Are you listening to me? Are you listening to yourself? How can Harry focus on whatever he needs to be done if he is worried something might happen to his ex-girlfriend? To us?’

‘That’s the problem, Lily’, James whispers, sitting on a chair and feeling only dread now. ‘He shouldn’t be focusing on anything, he should -’

‘I know, James’, she assures him, kneeling by his side and taking his hand. ‘I hate everything about it too. They are children, all of them, but… but so were we’. She raises her free hand to touch his face and James leans into her touch, hoping that somehow she can fix everything. ‘And nobody stopped us’.

‘Maybe they should’, James whispers. ‘Maybe somebody should have looked at us and said, “hey, these guys are just kids, they should not be fighting a war”!’.

Lily smiles sadly at him.

‘And would you have listened to them? Would you have heeded those wise words and stand aside?’

They both know the answer, just as James knows that he chose to be part of this. He never needed, not really - alone, he was pureblood, so he could have stayed quiet in his place, not taking part in anything, living his life normally.

Except that really never was an option for him. He always believed in doing the right thing.

Something he had made sure to teach Harry.

‘It’s my fault’, he whispers suddenly, and Lily looks alarmed at the tone of misery in his voice. ‘I told Harry all these stories about heroes, about being a Gryffindor and being noble…’

‘James’, Lily begins, and he sees she is almost smiling. ‘We tried to teach a lot of things to Harry and I am sure he understood all the right lessons, but being noble and brave and impulsive… that’s on him. We never taught him to go after the Philosopher’s Stone or to go search for an ancient chamber or to stay behind to save that little girl on the Triwizard Tournament. That’s who he is’.

‘I wish he were different’.

‘Do you?’, Lily asks him back, raising his eyebrows, and James shakes his head.

She hugs him, and he feels tears dropping uncontrollably, born of the guilty he really feels: how can he love so much all that Harry is - his belief, his good heart - when being like this is so dangerous for Harry? How can he be so damn proud of Harry and still fear for him?

‘I can’t, Lily’, he sobs. ‘I can’t give him my - my blessing - I can’t say it’s alright -’

She caresses his hair soothingly, but this doesn’t really help. He just feels even guiltier - they should be with Harry now, somehow supporting him even when his son doesn’t seem to need it, but instead, Lily is here comforting him because he can’t get a grip on his feelings.

‘Please’, he asks. ‘Stop him from going’.

She kisses his forehead, and he feels the wetness on her face. Lily is crying too.

‘I wish I could, James’, she whispers, and they stay embraced together for a long time.

____________________

Over the next days James hears no mention of Harry leaving, but he has planned enough pranks in his time to see all the preparation going on - how Lily spends nights crafting Polyjuice Potions, how Harry is reading about medicine spells, how Moony comes to visit him and gives him tips about concealing and safety charms.

James presses his lips and doesn’t say anything.

Instead, he concentrates on devising a plan to get them away from their house safely, now that the love protection is close to ending. There are many Order meetings until Mundungus, of all people, suggests a plan and they are discussing it when Kingsley mentions that they will also need to provide Harry with some other safe houses for when he is away.

That makes him clench his hands and grit his teeth so he doesn’t say anything; across the table Molly looks just as angry as him. Hum, he thinks. If somehow they can work to delay their plans, if they can keep Harry, Ron and Hermione as separate as they can so they have no time for planning -

It’s not an effective plan, but it is more time to convince Harry that his idea is just crazy.

‘We don’t know how long the Ministry will hold’, Kingsley is saying. ‘But we have to give Harry a good chance to -’

‘No, it’s not our job to give my son a chance’, James hears himself saying without being able to control. Lily grips his arm, warningly, and he forces himself to breathe slowly.

‘James’, Kingsley starts, in his deep voice that does nothing to ease James’ nerves. ‘Nobody likes it, we all want to do our part, but you can’t deny Harry -’

‘My son is sixteen still, Kingsley’, James says as controlled as he can manage. ‘There is no part for him’.

They all avoid his eyes now, except Remus, and James can’t fault anyone. Everyone knows he is bluffing - the Chosen One, the Daily Prophet calls him, and everyone here knows Harry is involved in that bloody prophecy they spent a year protecting.

‘James’, calls Remus, looking at him with a sad expression. ‘The last thing Dumbledore told us - Kingsley and I - was that we should trust Harry because he is our best hope’.

‘He is a child!’, James cries, standing up. ‘He is not a beacon of hope for - for you to use it - to hide behind him and let him save us all!’

‘Nobody is going to hide, James’, Remus says, trying to reach him, but for once James can’t stand him - or Lily, who tries to touch his arm in support. ‘We all care about Harry!’

‘Then stop letting everything on his shoulders!’, he says, and then the room is too full of people looking at him, all sympathetic, but all also unwilling to ensure that Harry won’t go.

He leaves the kitchen, ignoring once more Lily’s attempt to call him - he never felt so out of synchrony with her before -, to find a beautiful summer day outside the Burrow. He walks restlessly until he hears thumping sounds coming from the orchard ahead.

When he gets closer, he sees Ginny flying in the sky, but what makes him stop in the Beater’s bat in her hand, which she turns around over and over to hit a tennis ball that always comes in her direction, until, finally, she catches the ball in her hand.

‘Nice catch’, James says when she lands next to him. Her face is all sweaty from the flight and Ginny just shrugs.

‘Easy when the ball is charmed to hit your face’.

‘Training to be a Beater now?’, he asks, his voice only mild teasingly. ‘Seeker and Chaser are not enough for you?’

‘It is the best thing to relief stress’, she answers, flexing her arm. James thinks it was not very helpful, considering she clearly looks upset. ‘The meeting is over already?’

‘No, they are still discussing’, James says, frowning, and Ginny grimaces.

‘That good?’

James shakes his head, not wanting to discuss.

‘Fine, keep your secrets’, she says, and James can detect the tone of anger in her voice, the same one he has been hearing on his own lately. ‘Why tell little Ginny anything? It’s nothing like I care about - about you all’.

‘It’s not… not about secrets’, he says, somehow calmer now that he understands he is not the only one annoyed with the situation. ‘They are finishing the plan to get Harry here safe, I’m sure you will know soon - you live here after all’.

She sighs.

‘Sorry. It’s just Mom never wants to tell me nothing, and even Hermione is keeping her mouth shut lately and… I just feel helpless’.

‘Welcome to the club’, he replies grimly, making her raise her eyebrows.

‘You are in the Order, at least you get to know things’.

James rolls his eyes.

‘Big deal when the Order doesn’t seem to know anything about stuff that really matters’.

Ginny looks at him with more attention.

‘You mean Harry’, she says, and he hears the slight tremble in her voice as she speaks his name. ‘You guys don’t know about his plans either’.

‘And you?’, he asks, a pleading tone in his voice for anything she might say that can help him understand - and prevent - Harry. ‘He never said anything?’

She crosses her arms, looking away from him.

‘What do you think?’, she asks, sounding miserable and angry. ‘Of course he didn’t tell me - I was okay for a good snog, but why would he share anything important with me?’

‘Ginny’, he calls her softly, all his paternal instincts arising with a need to comfort her. 'You know how he feels about you'.

She takes a deep breath.

'Yeah, I do', she agrees in a small voice. 'I just wish he wouldn't leave me behind'.

'We all do', he replies and Ginny shares a knowing look with him.

For a minute they stay in silence, then she says forcefully: 'He will come back. We just need to hang on'.

'What do you mean?'

She bits her lips and opens a pocket on her jacket. A Golden Snitch flies away, and Ginny catches the Snitch easily, making its wings relax instantly at her touch. Flesh memories, James knows.

'Harry, he - he wants a quiet life, you know’, she whispers more to herself than to him. ‘He is not in this for adventure, for the glory. He is doing what needs to be done and he wouldn’t be happy if he were doing anything else’.

James looks at Ginny. She is right, he knows, but the way she speaks of him…

‘You are in love with him, aren’t you?’

She blushes slightly, her eyes fixed on the Golden Snitch that she releases once more before catching it.

‘Doesn’t matter right now’, she says. ‘We are not together anymore’.

‘That was not what I asked and of course it matters’, he replies gently. ‘He misses you, you know. There are days that he just stares far away, with that pining look that is pitiful, really’.

She lets out a reluctant laugh.

‘Harry doesn’t pine’.

‘He does’, James confirms. ‘He did a lot last year even before he realized he fancied you. And now… I suppose it’s worse. I don’t know, I never broke up with Lily’.

‘Lucky you’, she mumbles, with a sad smile.

‘Hey’, James smiles bravely at her. ‘When this is over, you will be together again’.

‘I don’t know if –‘, she shakes her head, stopping herself. ‘Nothing’.

‘What?’

‘It’s not important, really’.

‘If it’s bothering you, then it’s important’.

She looks sideways at him, looking annoyed with herself.

‘I just keep thinking – I don’t know how long he will be gone, and what if – what if in that time apart he meets someone and - and he realizes I’m just… not good enough and –‘

‘You are joking, right?’, James interrupts her. ‘Didn’t I just say he misses you like if you were the only sunlight in his life?’

‘I just wish I could be there for him somehow – oh’, she pauses, opening her eyes, and he sees a sparkle of mischief there. ‘Maybe a good memory’.

‘Do I dare to ask what you are thinking of?’

She smirks, looking much more hopeful now.

‘No, probably not’, Ginny tells him, and they both hear the door of the kitchen opening in the distance and then voices talking animatedly. ‘Guess the meeting is over’.

‘Yeah, I think so’, he pauses, looking at her. ‘Will you be ok?’

She shrugs.

‘I will stay safe. Watch out you too, you know? I know Harry’s impulsive trace doesn’t come from Lily’. He smiles guiltily. ‘And maybe – could you give this Snitch to Harry? It’s – it’s the one I caught in… the last game’.

James knows exactly what happened after such game.

‘Part of your good memory plan?’, he asks.

‘Oh, not even the beginning’, Ginny says mischievously, and when James has to grin back, he decides he won’t ever forgive Harry if they are not back together someday.

____________________

Lily touches his back.

‘James?’, she calls softly. ‘We need to finish Harry’s birthday gift’.

He knows what she is talking about and it’s not them that need to finish the gift, it’s him. It’s his part that is pending.

He nods, without saying anything, and Lily sighs.

‘Do you want some help?’

‘No, I will – I will check the boxes in the living room’.

He raises, not waiting for any answer, and walks to the living room. It’s filled with boxes, all their things packed to be sent to their vault at Gringotts in an attempt to protect their belongings. There is nothing, really, of importance, but if it will keep Death Eaters busy while searching their porcelain, it’s better for them.

It’s weird seeing their house without all the things that made it their home for the last sixteen years, only a skeleton of a house that seems to lack their story. The house feels empty, something he never felt before even when Harry was at Hogwarts and Lily at work and he was alone on his studies.

And he is one day away of saying goodbye to that house until – until this is over, if the Death Eaters even leave the place standing after they search everything. He will miss the place – there are too many good memories of things that happened there – family game nights, friendly meetings with Sirius and Remus, barbecues in the garden, those lonely nights with Lily in front of the fireplace…

That’s what is not in any of the boxes. That’s the most precious thing he will take with him from their house. Memories.

And memories are what James and Lily agreed to give Harry for his seventeenth birthday.

So he forces himself to open one of the boxes, one that has their collection of photos over the years. Lily already asked and selected photos of Harry along with his friends at Hogwarts, but James was tasked to select photos of the time before.

There are thousands of photos, taken by many people along the years, and it's hard to select only a few. James takes first the one from his wedding with Lily, both of them looking so young – they were barely a year older than Harry will soon be – so fresh and smiling, with Sirius shining as his best man. It’s a picture he thinks Harry will like to revisit - to remember that there is always time for happiness.

He picks one where Lily is pregnant with Harry. Despite their fears, she had looked even more beautiful during her pregnancy, and it shows it in the photo – she seems to be glowing, smiling at a young James who is obviously smitten with her. Well, that didn’t change much, he thinks.

There is a photo taken about a week after Harry was born. James and Lily look both tired in that photo – James remembers they didn’t sleep more than three hours per night that first week –, but they are beaming at their sleeping son, watching over him as angels.

Lily is cuddling Harry in the next photo, holding the baby in her arms, and singing a lullaby that is long forgotten; it’s ethereally beautiful, James thinks, and he remembers taking that photo and somehow wanting to capture that moment forever, of the little family he was starting. Then a photo of James with Harry in his arms, holding it as if the baby were made of glass that could be broken at any moment; he remembers how much fear he always felt – he, that could jump into danger just for the pleasure of it -, how much he always wished no harm could get to Harry.

That same fear and wish are still inside him, but somehow Harry doesn’t need him anymore. James closes his fist, forcing himself to breath, trying to not feel hurt and scared.

He looks at the next photo. Harry is one-year-old now, flying on that toy broomstick Sirius got him for his birthday, while James runs after him and Lily laughs at the situation. Even when they were hiding, there were those nice good moments.

These good moments seem to shine in the next photos he selects. There is a dog and a stag with Harry, from the first time they told him about being animagi. Another of one day at the beach – Harry is three, laughing as James and Lily bury his body in the sand. The first day he went to the muggle school, looking so smug standing next to a very amused James and Lily. That time they went to an amusement park – Harry had just grown up enough to ride in the roller coaster, and James had felt strangely proud of how Harry seemed to love thrill rides too.

Strangely cropped pictures of that time Harry tried to become a photographer; he was six, and the camera was way too big for him, so they ended up with a dozen of pictures of half-legs and back of the head, that they made a game for years of guessing who it was on the photo. That waving hand is probably Remus, the lustrous hair is obviously Sirius, the pig nose is Tonks that time she went to babysit Harry, and those legs are Lily’s, he is sure. He picks those photos, hoping Harry will enjoy the game one more time.

One day at the zoo, Lily and Harry laughing with big chocolate ice creams cones (a good day, even if it got weird when they found out that Harry could talk with snakes). A photo of James and Harry flying, that first time Harry got to ride a real broom and when they realized Harry was much more fit to a Seeker than a Chaser (Harry had been a little upset until James had throw a dozen of golf balls at him and beamed proudly when Harry got them all).

Then Harry is older. His eleventh birthday, a photo of James laughing while a excited Harry appears and disappears as he is trying the Invisibility Cloak. A picture of them in the Diagon Alley, buying his school stuff – the Harry in the photo can’t stand still, clearly too excited to be going to Hogwarts. Harry with his new trunk and all his school stuff spread in his bed, while Lily helps him to fold his robes – her eyes are shining with tears there, clearly thinking Harry grew up too fast. And then a photo of them in front of the Hogwarts Express, on Harry’s first day at Hogwarts – he looks a bit embarrassed to take a photo with his parents, but since it was Sirius that suggested and Harry never denied Sirius, he is smiling.

A big smile for an eleven-years-old who only wished for a normal year at his school. That photo had been before he understood how famous he really was. Before he met Voldemort for the first real time.

A simpler time.

James watches eleven year of memories and he hopes it will be enough to guide Harry home.

‘Dad?’, he hears Harry calling and he hastily closes the box with the photographs he selected. ‘Mom is calling you for dinner’.

James raises, startled. It’s dark outside already. He didn’t realise how much time he had spent there.

‘Sure, I’ll be going in a minute’.

‘Do you need help with anything? I thought it was all packed here’.

‘No, I was just checking… But it’s okay’.

Harry looks around the living room and sighs.

‘It’s weird. Seeing everything packed. I emptied my school trunk for the first time today’.

‘Found anything useful?’

‘Just pieces of the first mirror – you know, the one I broke’. Harry looks ashamed suddenly. James just shrugs. He remembers why Harry broke it and he won’t fault his son. ‘Still sharp – I cut my finger’.

‘Do you need help?’

‘No, I… I know how to cast healing spells now’.

His eyes meet James’, and then James feels out of breath. He knows why Harry is so concerned with learning such spells.

‘You shouldn’t be casting underage magic’, he says, his voice harsher than before, ignoring the fact that at other times he never complained if Harry did some small things.

‘I know, I just – just wanted to try it’.

‘There is a course in Seventh Year for Healing Spells, Flitwick teaches them perfectly. You will learn in time’.

Harry sighs.

‘Dad –‘

‘No, Harry. You see, that’s why you are not ready – you didn’t finish your education’.

‘I don’t need to for what I have to do’.

‘You think you do, but until last week you barely could cast an Episkey. What about healing broken bones? Counter-curses? Merlin, you don’t even have an apparition license!’.

‘And you are not a registered animagus, Dad’, Harry says with an attempt to smile. ‘Sometimes we just know enough. You once told me life is not about grades’.

‘I said it when you were upset with your grade in Potions, not about leaving school!’

‘Dad…’, Harry looks pleadingly at him. ‘It’s our last dinner at home for a very long time. Can we just talk about it later?’

‘Later you will still think about going away?’

‘I’m not thinking, Dad’, he whispers and James wants to shake him - or himself. Harry's decision is already made, James can't change it, and panic rises inside him like a storm.

‘And you can’t tell us anything about it? Can’t even let us know if you are alive? Will you even care if we are alive?’

Harry flinches, but he doesn’t answer. Harry doesn’t want to fight him, James knows. This does not make him feel better – Harry likes to argue, he hates to be quiet. If he is doing that, it’s because he really believes their time together is limited.

James refuses to believe in that. He can’t.

‘I am not hungry’, he says, going upstairs and leaving Harry alone in the hall.

____________________

Harry steals glances in James’ direction, but his son doesn’t approach him. It hurts James to know there is this chasm between them, one that he can’t see to correct for once in his life.

He can’t approach Harry either. Somehow it feels that if they get closer, Harry will think that James approves what his son is doing - and he can’t. He is already too worried for Harry.

James already barely survived that night, staying in the Burrow with Lily, feeling hopeless while the rest of the Order had been gone to retrieve Harry. The plan had been logical - they would reveal themselves if they had been with Harry and they would reveal Harry - and it should have been foolproof, but somehow it had all turned bad.

The Death Eaters knew of their plans - someone had betrayed them, James had cried, angry at whoever had elapsed, whoever had broken their trust (again, he saw it happening before), until Harry, his face red from drinking firewhiskey for the first time – it shouldn’t be like that, we should drink for celebration, not for mourning -, had looked at him and said loud and clear and loyally he didn’t believe anyone there would betray them.

James had stared at his son, speechless and torn, barely hearing when Remus had sighed and said ‘you are so like James’. It had sounded both as a compliment as a lament and James could not fault Remus for that.

Harry had looked annoyed at Remus, only hearing the critic there, but James knew that Harry had been upset with Remus ever since Remus had complained that Harry only disarmed someone instead of stunning or killing.

James is not sure how he feels about it, not even after days thinking about the matter. How can he wish his son would deliberately kill someone? How can he fear Harry will not survive if he doesn’t cross that line?

There is no easy answer.

He watches Harry from a far; they’ve been talking only the bare minimum lately, though James supposes that part of it is because Harry has been helping to finish the things for the wedding and is tired. Just like he expected, Molly is keeping Harry, Ron and Hermione as apart as he can, though James thinks it won’t be enough. Harry already shares the room with Ron, after all, and Hermione seems to be much more advanced in her plans than he would like.

They will be leaving in days and there is nothing he can do.

On the morning of the last day of July, he stays in bed alone for a long time. Lily is already up, probably making the breakfast for Harry just as she did on each one of his birthdays. He tries to force himself to get up too, to leave the tent he had been sharing with Lily on the garden of the Burrow, and to smile to his son, to be happy for the fact that he is an adult now – wasn’t that what he always expected? That Harry got to grow up?

No one had told him that Harry becoming an adult would mean he would leave to face Voldemort on his own.

Except he thinks of how Harry’s patronus is a stag – his stag, Prongs – and he remembers telling Harry once that he would always be with him, even if James had died.

Guilty arises on him and he feels even worse – how can he be more distant from his son being alive than if he were dead?

That makes him get up and throw some water into his face to properly wake him up. It’s his son’s birthday. He can pretend he is not worried and hug Harry and be proud of his son for his seventeenth birthday. If only for today.

But Harry is not at the table when he arrives in the kitchen and when he finally turns up, with Ron and Hermione, they all look strangely tense as if they've been fighting. Harry seems even more distressed, blushing and avoiding glancing Ginny when she enters the kitchen too, though James can’t tell the reason. Ginny is her normal self, but Harry acts as if he feels guilty of just being in the same room as her.

James busies himself with helping prepare Harry’s birthday party, enjoying charming the lights and cooking the birthday cake. Lily throws glances in his direction and he can’t fault her – he knows he is just postponing talking to Harry.

In the middle of the afternoon, Lily calls him when he is talking to Tonks.

‘We have to give him his gift’, she remembers, and James nods, trying not to grimace.

He leaves a radiant Tonks – at her side, Remus is unusually quiet – and they go looking for Harry, who is now laughing with Charlie and Hagrid. As it happens lately when he looks at Harry, James feels a pressure in his chest watching him, a fear of not knowing if this will be the last time he sees his son.

‘James’, Lily calls him, looking at him with a gentle expression. ‘Keep it light, ok?’

He nods silently, not trusting his voice. He thinks it’s easy for Lily to be calm; Harry has been talking to her, he knows, and he saw them whispering together in the garden before lunch. Harry had looked distressed, almost as if he were pleading something to his mother, and when they had hugged, James almost had run to them.

It was only the fear of that hug being a goodbye that had made him stay still.

That’s one of the things they never tell you about being a parent. How you are always fearing something for your kid.

Harry’s expression shifts to uneasy when he sees his parents approaching him, and it’s his most primal need of comforting his son that makes James passes his arm around Harry’s shoulder, messing his hair in the process, and smile as calmly as he can manage:

‘Happy birthday, son’.

Harry blushes, looking briefly in his direction. They are almost the same size now, James notices, but Harry still feels strangely awkward on his birthday, receiving congratulations and gifts, as if even after all these years he still is surprised by the fact that people would care enough about his birthday.

‘We have a gift for you’, Lily says, her eyes shining as she gives him the carefully wrapped gift.

‘There was no need’, Harry says politely, just as Lily once taught him to be when he received a present, and James’ heart hurts at the sight of it.

Harry is his polite, gentle, kind son. Not a soldier.

He unwraps the gift and his green eyes sparkle madly when he sees the photograph album, when his hands turn the pages and he watches a hundred pictures from his infancy to adulthood, Harry with his parents, and with Sirius and Remus, and then with his friends at Hogwarts or in lazy summer days.

Harry is not in all these photos, but in those he is, Harry is not alone.

‘Thank you, mom!’, he whispers, hugging Lily.

‘Just something for you to remember us’, she whispers loudly enough, her eyes on James.

It’s a beautiful gift, and James knows what’s behind this gift – it’s to remember Harry that he is not on a suicide mission, that he has a life to go back to and that he should fight to return to it, to return to them.

It’s supposed to give him hope.

Lily breaks apart, raising on her feet to kiss Harry on his cheek and carefully wiping the lipstick mark there, while he rolls his eyes amusedly. Then she throws another look at James and she leaves.

There is a moment of silence.

‘Thanks, dad’, Harry says, sounding awkward as if he doesn’t know if he should hug James too.

‘It was mostly your mother’s idea. I wanted to give you a professional broomstick, but she reminded me it wouldn’t be useful’. For some reason, this comment makes Harry steal a quick glance at Ginny, his face reddening. ‘And Molly asked us if she could give you a watch, so –‘

Harry looks fondly at the watch on his wrist, and James smiles to himself. He was never one to care for traditions, but it seemed important to Molly and, after all, she thought of Harry as her son too.

‘I loved the album’, Harry assures him, pressing the album close to his chest. ‘It will be nice to have it while…’

His voice cuts off, suddenly unsure, and James feels the urge to argue about it once more, to somehow make Harry understand that he doesn’t need to go. It’s not his war to end.

Except somehow it is.

‘There are blank pages in this album’, James explains instead of fighting, his voice trembling. ‘For you to fill later with more memories’.

Harry turns to him and he looks a thousand-years-old when he smiles sadly.

‘Perhaps with that new broom you mentioned?’, he asks in a soft voice, urging James to believe for them both.

He nods, unable to say anything, and Harry moves to embrace him just as a streak of light comes flying across the yard, turning into a bright silver weasel that announces the Minister of Magic is coming to visit them.

__________________

The blond woman sits across James, winking at him.

‘Look’, he begins, his voice much graver than usual. ‘I’m flattered and all, but I’m married’.

She raises her left hand to move her curls out of her face and he sees the golden ring shining there.

‘So am I’, she replies slyly.

‘Even worse. A woman like you, I am sure you have a jealous husband’.

‘Nah, he knows I’m faithful’.

James raises his eyebrows, looking at her leg that she is slowly sliding over his own leg.

‘I see’.

‘Let me tell you my idea’, she approaches him, ‘why don’t we take a stroll outside this tent? No one would notice it. We can keep it a secret’.

He looks around. She is right in the sense that no one will throw them a second glance if they vanish in the middle of the party; people are dancing and talking excitedly around them and, in the middle of the floor dance, he sees Bill and Fleur in each other’s arms.

That makes his chest feel strangely heavily with longing. He can still remember his wedding to Lily, all those years ago. It was still the happiest day of his life - they had danced for hours, full of joy and disbelief that they got to be so in love, and he remembers how his parents had beamed, how Sirius had made the best speech ever, how Remus had drunk so much that he had screamed he loved them all and even how Peter had cried hugging them.

It all had been perfect, but that was a long time ago.

He lets the blond take his hand and draw him away from the crowd, only stopping to take a look at a ginger boy who is lying against a pillar and watching wistfully the floor dance. Harry seems to be fine, though.

It's quiet outside the tent and they walk pass other couples that seem to have had the same idea as them. Finally they leave all traces of people and they stand in the shadow of a big tree; the lights from the wedding tent shine in the distance like a thousand stars.

'It's beautiful', the blond says softly, raising his hand to glance at his watch.

'Yes', he agrees. There is something eerily beautiful in the night, or maybe it's just the feeling of peacefulness of the day. It's been a while since they had a quiet day.

A normal day as if they are not in the middle of the war.

She looks at him.

'You are supposed to look at me and say I'm beautiful. What about cheesy lines?'

'I told you, miss', James sighs. 'I am faithful to my wife'.

She approaches him.

'Close your eyes'.

'Lily… it's weird when you look like - well, not like yourself'.

She grins. The face is all wrong, but her smile is the same.

'Trust me, James'.

He breathes heavily, but if there is someone he trusts in the world, is Lily. So he closes his eyes, and after a few seconds he feels his body burning slightly, growing up a bit, and then the clothes he is wearing are suddenly fitting him better than it had minutes ago; the Muggle he had impersonated was much thinner than him.

And then he feels Lily's lips over his and there is her familiar taste, and he knows she is back to herself too. Even her scent returned; it seems silly, because she had been wearing the same perfume in her polyjuiced form, but somehow her scent had been as off as her appearance. They’ve been married for almost nineteen years now and still he missed her during the wedding; it was not the same having that unfamiliar woman by his side, as if even holding her hand made him feel like he was cheating on Lily.

So for the first time in weeks, he forgets all worries and lets himself enjoy Lily’s company, losing himself in her lips, feeling her curves over the silk dress she is wearing and hearing her soft moans in the deep of her throat when he presses her against the trunk of the tree.

‘James’, she warns, only mildly scolding him when he moves his lips to her neck. He would feel more reprimanded if she hadn’t been raising her head, giving him better access to her skin. ‘We should get back’.

‘We should’, he agrees, one hand holding the back of her hair and the other holding her waist and moving up. When his lips find hers once more, hands working expertly on each other, they don’t talk for a while.

Later, he takes off his jacket, placing in the ground so they can sit together, Lily’s back pressed against his chest while he combs her hair, undoing the curls there.

‘It was a beautiful wedding’, she says. ‘It reminded me of ours’.

James nods, knowing what she means. A wedding in the middle of the war, a day of peace in the middle of chaos.

‘Did you talk to Harry?’

‘Not today. I – did he mention anything to you?’

‘About when he will be leaving?’, she sighs. ‘No, but I think tomorrow probably’.

He huffs, and Lily grabs his hand.

‘How can you be so okay with that?’, he asks, upset.

‘I am not okay, James. But I’m trying to be supportive because I want Harry to remember he will always have us to come back to’.

‘And you think I’m driving him away?’

‘No’, she whispers softly. ‘I think Harry will be afraid he is letting you down. He cares more about your opinion than anyone else’s’.

James closes his eyes.

‘He won’t ever let me down. No matter how much unhappy it makes me feel… I am proud of him’.

‘Then go tell him that’, she suggests softly, cuddling up more in his arms, and he presses her against his chest, letting her breath calm him.

‘I will – tonight, I… I will wish him good luck and –‘

‘No fighting?’

‘No’.

She smiles and for a moment they just stare at the wedding tent.

‘I love you’, he whispers. Lily turns to wink at him.

‘I know, you said it a few minutes ago’.

‘Did I?’

‘Oh, yeah. A lot of times, actually’.

‘It must be true then’.

‘I hope so. I love you back, you know’.

He grins, kissing her softly. His lips tingle after the kiss, even if it was barely a brush. That’s Lily’s effect on him.

Then she sighs, and searches in her purse until she finds two vials of potions that make him grimace.

‘Do we have to? The party is almost over by now’.

Lily just raises his eyebrows at him. He knows she is right – they have to be careful.

‘Fine, fine’, he raises, offering his hand to help her. ‘Let me turn into that guy whose only benefit is that his eyesight is great’.

She laughs.

‘I missed you’, she assures him, placing her hands around his neck to get closer. ‘So one last kiss before we change again?’

‘It may be more that just one kiss’, he warns her fairly, and he can feel Lily’s smile when he kisses her again. In fact, with the soft breeze of the night and the sound of music in the distance, James thinks maybe they can repeat what they did earlier, and Lily seems to have thought the same when he feels her hands touching his chest…

Then a scream cuts through the night and they hear sounds of people popping – the protective barriers of the Burrow had fallen. James sees the masked figures coming out of nowhere close to the house and he takes his wand just as Lily grabs his arm.

‘No, James, we have to go!’

He looks at her without understanding.

‘We have to help, we can’t –‘

‘We will only endanger people if they know we are here!’

‘But – Harry –‘

‘He is not stupid, he will be gone with Ron and Hermione’, she says, and James hears the desperation in her voice. ‘We will do no good to him if we are captured’.

He hates when Lily sounds so logical and he hates more that he knows she is right. Harry may be the type to sacrifice himself without a second thought, but he would never sacrifice a friend and especially not his parents. They must go hiding not for themselves, but for him.

But still, the idea of just going, of not searching for Harry - it feels like he is a coward.

'James!', Lily calls him again, giving him a knowing look. 'It'll be ok. We have to trust Harry. Please!'

He feels tears of anger in his eyes, feel a desperate need to go after those Death Eaters and make them pay until Voldemort himself comes for them - and then James swears he would kill him, anything to stop Harry from being in danger, anything that a father can do to protect his son.

But he can't and the worst part is he knows it.

So James looks at the wedding tent once more, hearing the screams and seeing flashes of light and then, with panic and fear dancing inside him, he and Lily turn on the spot and vanish into the night.

[Edited: The second chapter can be read on AO3]

#Eyes glistening #Jily Lives AU #but it's all angst #because James is suffering poor guy #James Potter is a good parent #Harry Potter & James Potter #Jily #Hinny #t: fanfiction

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imaginejamesandsirius · 3 years ago

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I freaking love your blog so much! I was wondering if you could do some fluff after the prank™️ where everybody has forgiven Sirius but he is struggling to forgive himself and James is the best boyfriend and helps him forgive himself

Please don’t feel like you have to answer. Sorry if my grammar is incorrect.

"Where are you going?" Remus asked, looking at Sirius's full arms with a frown.

"Library. I need to get some studying done." He thought that was a perfectly good reason, but Moony's frown deepened.

He didn't keep eye contact for long. There was no recrimination in Moony’s eyes, but Sirius didn't want to push it. Remus had said that he'd forgiven Sirius, but he didn't know how true that was. He didn't want to spend too much time around him and remind him of what he'd done. If he mentioned schoolwork and then got the hell out of there, he'd be able to keep their friendship in good standing. Or rather, help keep them in good standing again-- he'd ruined it the first time, and he knew that.

He shoved his feet back into his shoes, then left.

He ran into James as he was leaving the Common Room, which hadn't been part of the plan. When he ran away from Moony or Wormtail, they let him. James always followed. Sirius didn't know if that's because they were dating, or if it was because they lived together at Potter Mansion when they weren't in Hogwarts. Either way, Sirius saw him and immediately shrank back, like maybe James wouldn't see him. Which was ridiculous, of course. James saw him and beamed, then put a hand on his arm like he always had. Like nothing had changed.

"Hey, where are you headed to?"

"Library," Sirius muttered.

"Smashing. I'll catch up with you in a minute."

If he'd had the time, Sirius would've tried to tell him that he wanted to study alone and James's presence would distract him. But James pressed a kiss to his cheek and then was in the Common Room. It would be easier for Sirius to accept that this was happening than to chase James down and try to tell him that it was no big deal. With a sigh, he turned and continued walking to the library.

True to his word, James showed up a few minutes after Sirius picked a table. He'd barely started getting set up when the seat across from him was filled. "Hey, sorry that took so long," James said with his usual grin.

"I hadn't noticed."

Sirius's lack of enthusiasm didn't dampen his spirits in the slightest. Or if it did, he didn't show it. "Nothing wrong with getting our work done early, but is there something wrong with our dormitory?"

"Moony was up there."

"So?"

"I didn't want to disturb him. He always says that I distract him when I'm studying."

"He does?" James asked.

"Yes." Though it was more like Remus had said it a couple times back in second year and never again since, but it worked for Sirius right now, so he'd said 'yes'.

"Huh. Who knew?"

James kept doing it. Sirius would try to sneak away to give the rest of them space, and James would find him. He wasn't even using the Marauders Map-- Sirius knew, because he'd started taking it with him to try and prevent it. He was always able to find Sirius in the handful of cases that he was able to get away at all. James caught him most of the time, tailing along with Sirius's excuses like he didn't have a care in the world.

"Stop it," Sirius snapped at him one day, as James slid into the chair across from him.

James blinked. It was hard to say what was going on in his head when he let his expression go blank like that. "Stop what? Talking to you? I'm not going to do that."

"Stop pretending like nothing's changed!"

"I wasn't aware anything had changed," James replied evenly, like Sirius hadn't just yelled at him in an empty classroom with no provocation.

"I nearly killed Snape, and I made Moony do it for me. It's different now," he hissed. "Stop pretending otherwise."

James blinked again, a shameful expression coming over his face to replace the blankness that had been there before. "I thought it would make you feel better."

"To pretend that I didn't bugger everything up? Remus hates me, and he has every reason to. I can't believe Dumbledore didn't throw me out of Hogwarts; he should've."

"Don't say that."

"Why not? It's the truth."

"You made a mistake," James argued.

"Nearly murdering someone isn't a mistake. It's a crime. And what did I get for it? A couple weeks of detention. I've gotten worse punishment by mucking about with the Slytherin Quidditch teams' brooms. I got two months for that. Nearly killing someone was two weeks."

James didn't say anything. He didn't think that more detention would make Sirius feel better about this. In fact, he didn't know what would make Sirius feel better. He'd thought that his presence would help, but obviously it hadn't.

Sirius turned back to his book. He hoped that James would leave, but he didn't move. Not so much as a twitch or shift in his weight.

"Moony's forgiven you, you know. I know that he's told you he has."

"Yes, Moony's forgiven me, and Wormtail's forgiven me, and I'm not convinced you were ever mad enough at me to merit forgiveness." He sounded bitter about that, but James didn't know why; he would've thought it was a good thing that James wasn't mad at him. "Dumbledore got slightly more stern with me than ever before, but I'm not sure his forgiveness was a thing to worry about either. Snape will never forgive me, and that sits fine with me."

"Then what's the problem?"

"Things are different. And everyone's pretending that that's not true. Like, if we just pretend that nothing happened, it'll be true." Sirius had been upset from the moment James sat across from him, but now he was losing his temper, hand curling into a fist as his words became more venomous-- if not in his phrasing, then in his tone alone. All of a sudden, it became clear to James that Sirius hadn't forgiven himself, and that's why he was so upset.

"What would you rather I do? Scream and make you feel horrible?"

"It would at least be something," Sirius said, looking at James challengingly-- as if he actually expected for James to start yelling now that he'd said he would prefer it that way.

"I'm not going to do that," James said flatly.

"Then why offer?"

James leaned forward and flicked Sirius's knuckles.

He flinched away, a flash of pain crossing his face.

"You're being an arse," James said. "You know that none of us want you gone, and yet you run away like you're doing all of us a favour. Do you really think that Moony isn't beyond annoyed with you right now? He wants to see his mates, but not if he has to go around, hunting them down. Running away is- it's not always the solution. It's sure as hell not the solution right now. Does it really make you feel better? Because it doesn't make any of use feel better, and I sure hope it's doing something for someone if you're doing it every bloody day, ten times a day. Suck up your poor, pitiful feelings and at least pretend that you're a decent person."

"Really?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow. "This is your brilliant idea for how to make the situation better?"

"...No good? I thought I was making sense."

"Oh you were making sense, but it's not something you'd ever say to me genuinely."

"Hm. Yeah. That is unfortunate. Is this the part where you kick me out?"

He shook his head. Despite everything, Sirius found himself feeling better. Maybe it was that this was the first conversation they'd had where it didn't feel like they were both walking on eggshells around each other.

"Does that mean we can go back up to the dormitory? These chairs are uncomfortable."

"I don't think I'm ready for that," Sirius said, looking down at his hand. He'd bitten his nails down until there was no more white showing; James hated when he did that.

"Okay," James said slowly. He didn't know how to do this. He didn't know how to convince Sirius to forgive himself. It had been a close call-- there was no denying that-- but at the end of the day, Snape hadn't been hurt. Scared, yes, but not a hair on his head had been harmed. "You still feel guilty for what you did. You nearly got Snape killed." It was the first time he'd actually said those words aloud to Sirius, and he couldn't say that he liked it. Unfortunately, it was the truth, and it was one Sirius wanted someone to say to him. "I get it, it's horrible, and you don't know how to keep going after something like that."

"It's not that. Not just that, I mean. Yes, I did something that was completely horrid, but it's not like it's hard to keep up with the day to day of Hogwarts."

"Then what is it?"

Sirius opened his mouth, then closed it again. He flipped the page of his book, then flipped it back to where he'd been at the start. "I thought I was better than that. Different. I wasn't supposed to be anything like my family, but killing another student and getting away with it? I might as well be back at Grimmauld Place, learning how to be the leader of an Ancient and Noble House."

"You didn't kill him," James said, even though he knew that that wasn't the point Sirius was trying to make. "You're nothing like them."

"Am I not? I'm just like them, only I don't hate all muggles just for existing. That's hardly enough of a difference to matter."

"I think it would matter to muggles."

Sirius paused. "I- yes, of course, that's not what I-" He stopped and cleared his throat. He closed his book. "I'm just going to run to the kitchens." He shoved the book in his bag and got to his feet. He reached the door, then realised that James was still sat there, not moving. He glanced behind him. "You coming?"

James smiled at him. "I wasn't aware I was invited."

"You've never let that stop you before."

"Forcing my presence on you is exactly as much fun as it sounds," James said, getting to his feet. "As in: not fun at all."

"You didn't let it stop you," Sirius said again.

"Well, no. You needed company, whether you wanted to admit it or not."

"And you enjoying my presence?"

"Mere coincidence," James said airily, and it did not fool either of them.

#prongsfoot #marauders #james potter #sirius black #fanfic #established relationship #hogwarts time #no voldemort au #siriuslystarbucks

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awritingtree · 4 years ago

Text

Here On Now and Forever

Sirius Black x reader

Summary: Y/N fondly remembers delivering some special news in response to Sirius’ proposal as she relaxes and listens to him fumbling around in their new home.

@weasleysflowr‘s 300 follower writing challenge: Fluff prompt 5. ““You’re an idiot” ... “I’m your idiot”” and miscellaneous prompt 5. “This is why we can’t have nice things.” The prompts have been bolded :)

Words: ~1.6k

Warnings: swearing, fluff, pregnancy, a bit of angst I think?

A/N: this is my first Sirius fic and I really do hope I did him justice. I originally wrote one the parts for a Fred Weasley fic but it fitted so perfectly in this one that I just had to include it (let’s see if you can guess which part this is - I had to adjust it to fit Sirius and his life). Anyways, I hope you all enjoy reading this xx

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Y/N had recently moved into a new cottage with her fiancé. The cottage was located on the edge of a lake, a dense forest surrounding the other side of the lake. The water washing over the shore and birds chirping in the forest provided a calming and soothing sound, one that was welcomed in the silence of the cottage when her fiancé was off on Auror missions. The cottage itself was small, enough for a small family of three, which is exactly the amount of people that would be dwelling in it in a few months.

On a particular day, a breeze that made the cornflower blue curtains in the living room fly was pleasant, creating the perfect atmosphere to sit near the window and watch the lake water wash ashore. That’s where Y/N was currently, with her eyes closed listening to Sirius move around in the kitchen, making some lunch for them both. Her hand was placed on her slightly swollen belly, as she fondly recalled when she told Sirius about their little future.

Y/N shoved her shaking hand into her coat, hoping the effortlessly beautiful raven-haired boy couldn’t feel the other hand shaking in his. How was she supposed to tell him this? Yes, they had been dating for approximately seven years, but they had never talked about kids. Starting their own family together had been a sensitive topic due to Sirius’ past with his own family. Y/N and Sirius had been out of Hogwarts for five years now. The war ended two years ago, You-Know-Who defeated at the hands of Dumbledore as Harry and Neville stayed hidden well for the first three years of their life. But still, Sirius had not shown any signs of proposing. Y/N had thought about doing it herself several times, but she knew this was a decision Sirius needed to make because it was him who had to decide, to commit, to the familial life which would not be easy for him due to his experiences.

Unbeknownst to her, Sirius could feel their intertwined hands shaking, but he mistook it as a reflection of his nerves. He wasn’t sure if he should carry out his plan. Would she want to start a life with him? Someone so broken, someone who never had a proper family until the Potters took him in. He had no idea if he was capable of providing Y/N the domestic life she deserved and wanted. He was known to fuck things up quickly. It was a surprise to him he hadn’t fucked anything up yet in their relationship (other than the time he almost lost her when he told Snape about how to make his way to Shrieking Shack on a full moon). What if this was the point where he did fuck up and lost Y/N for good? He couldn’t live without her. As absurd as it sounded, it was true. He could never imagine a life, a Sirius Black, without Y/N Y/L/N by his side.

“Ri, I need to tell you something,” Y/N said as she stopped in the middle of their walk through the park, her voice trembling.

“Before you do, I need to tell you something too. But let me go first because I don’t think I’ll have the courage if I wait any longer.”

Y/N was scared. Did he already know? Was he going to leave her? Wait, how did he know already? She knew she was very careful in making sure no one, and she meant no one, found out. Well except the Healer she visited in St. Mungo’s.

Lost in her thoughts, Y/N didn’t see Sirius getting a small velvet black box from his pocket and kneeling down on one knee until his voice broke her out of her inner turmoil.

“Y/N/N. My love. The day I first met you, I never thought we would end up here. It took us three years to become friends and a year of subtle glances and dancing around each other before you asked me to accompany you on a date to Hogsmeade. Falling in love with you was sudden. It was like falling off the edge of a cliff and hitting the water below. Next thing I knew, I was drowning in you. The day I realized I was in love with you was the day I knew I wouldn’t feel such a love again. When we became friends, I knew it was a friendship I hoped would last as long as possible; but when I fell in love with you, I knew I wanted us to last a lifetime and hopefully longer than that. You are my other half, Y/N/N. You have shown me kindness and have always been patient with me no matter how reckless or brash I act. You have been by my side each time my mother has sent me a letter, held me through all of my panic attacks, and shown me what true love really is. I never thought I would ever have a family, that I would ever want a family with anyone. But you came along and changed everything; you make me want to have a family with you, a life with you. I want to be with you; from here on now and forever. So, Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, would you do me the honour of giving me a lifetime and more by marrying me?”

Y/N gulped. She had been waiting for this moment for a long time, but now that it was here, she didn’t want it to be. Not when she was just about to tell him-

“I’m pregnant.”

The anxious grin fell off from an awaiting Sirius’ face. His eyes widened with shock as he stared at his girlfriend. Time passed but he did not move, he didn’t even blink. Y/n chewed on her bottom lip nervously, his lack of response not helping with slowing down her racing mind. ‘He really is going to leave you,’ she thought, holding in the tears that tried to run free. But as time went on, without the man kneeling in front of her showing any emotion, Y/N couldn’t hold down the fort any longer. Tears streamed down her face as her bottom lip quivered. She had assumed the worst; of course he didn’t want her around anymore, he wasn’t ready for this - maybe he didn’t even want this, a kid, a baby.

“I- I’m going to be a father?” Sirius whispered, finally breaking out of his state of shock.

Y/N nodded slowly, holding back a sob.

“I understand if you want nothing to do with him or her, nothing with us. I- we didn’t expect this. I won’t-,” Y/N took a deep breath, “No one will blame you if you decide to leave.”

Sirius quickly got up and cupped Y/N’s face between his hands. His silver-grey eyes, glistening with unshed tears, looked into her Y/E/C eyes.

“Never, my love. I could never leave you. I could never leave you, him or her. I can’t believe this. I- how long have you known?”

“A few days. I went to St. Mungo’s on Monday when I told you I was going to Diagon Alley to run some errands. I had my doubts for a while, the vomiting, the soreness and the fact that I was over two weeks late,” Y/N explained.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Sirius asked softly.

“I didn’t know what your reaction would be. I still don’t exactly know what it is,” she said, a forced joking smile on her face. She was trying to diffuse the tension that still hung in the air from his silence, not very successfully though.

Sirius chuckled and leaned down pressing his lips against hers in a tender kiss.

“Like I said, my love. I want you from here on now and forever. And that includes our baby. I love you; I am never leaving.”

Y/N smiled widely through her tears and leaned forward to kiss the love of her life.

A loud crash snapped Y/N back to reality. She spun around to see a black dog transforming into her fiancé, a guilty expression adorning his handsome face. An overturned stand and broken flower vase lay on the floor next to him; water and wildflowers you’d freshly picked together this morning spilled over.

“This is why we can’t have nice things,” muttered Y/N.

“I’m so sorry, my love. I completely forgot we’d placed that there. We can get a new one. I’ll go right away and buy another one, one much prettier and more expensive than this. You’ll be glad I broke this. In fact, you’ll forget all about this one.”

Y/N shook her head slightly with an affectionate smile on her face, standing up and walking towards him, “What were you even doing as Padfoot? Weren’t you supposed to be making us lunch right now?”

“Well um,” started Sirius, grinning at her sheepishly as he wrapped his arms around her waist once she was close enough, “I thought I’d come and call you as Padfoot, as a surprise. You do seem to love him more nowadays since we found out about our little future here,” he slid one of his hands to lie gently on her stomach, “But I got a tad bit excited.”

“You’re an idiot,” said Y/N, looking at him endearingly, her arms moving from his forearms to wrap themselves around his neck.

“Maybe. But I’m your idiot,” Sirius countered cheekily.

Y/N laughed softly. She stood up on her tiptoes to steal a kiss from her fiancé.

“My idiot,” she whispered against his lips before pressing their lips together again in a sweet loving, yet passionate kiss.

“I love you,” she spoke quietly.

“I love you too, my love. From here on now and forever.”

“From here on now and forever.”

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If you enjoyed reading this fic, please like/comment/reblog! Your opinion/feedback is welcome, appreciated, and motivating :)

General taglist: @heloisedaphnebrightmore @pregnant-piggy @approved-by-dentists @kashishwrites @remmyswritings @angelinathebook @idont-knowrn @coffee--writes

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professorsnape394 · 4 years ago

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The Potions Master’s Apprentice

Chapter Three: Steaming Sessions

A/N: This is the third part to my fanficiton ‘The Potions Master’s Apprentice (Severus Snape x OC)’. Chapters 1-16 can be found already uploaded on Wattpad under the same name. Feel free to leave requests in my inbox for anything Snape related you want me to write. Leave a comment below if you wish to be added to my tag list.

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC (Dumbledore’s Granddaughter)

Summary: A talented young witch is employed as an apprentice professor at Hogwarts, but who will she be working under? Severus Snape is not best pleased with his new responsibility of taking on an apprentice, however she is relentless to create a friendship between them. Will she be successful? Or might the friendship just go a little two far? With the eyes of her grandfather constantly watching over them, an attempt at a relationship might not be in the cards for Aria Dumbledore and Severus Snape.

Word Count: 1726

Warnings: n/a

Credits to Gif Creator

As much as Severus hated to admit it, even to himself, thoughts of the young witch had persistently threatened to enter his mind the week following their initial meeting. Despite how badly Severus wanted to suppress his primal urges, he could not deny he had noticed her beauty. An attractive witch of her age was a rarity in his life, and so he allowed himself the simple pleasure of a thought or two regarding the new Professor. That was until he actually got to know her. She had taken it upon herself to interrupt his last few weeks of solitude before his life was disrupted by masses insolent children. The once somewhat pleasant thoughts of the woman had now been replaced by anger and agitation. He had in fact been preoccupied in thoughts of Aria Dumbledore upon her arrival to his office on Tuesday morning. He was enraged at her boldness to contradict him and any thoughts he ever had regarding her attractiveness had for sure been killed during their most recent meeting, or so he told himself.

The following day Miss Dumbledore delivered a list of potions she wished to revisit with Professor Snape in order to give him time to prepare for their next session. The temper she had awoken within him remained, as her comments still lingered in his mind. Never before had he met someone so audacious, and brave he hesitated to add, that they would so cunningly insult him in such an underhanded manner. The rage inside him motivated him to test his apprentice's abilities even further. Inspecting the list in front of him Severus Snape began to devise a plan.

"You should have learned by now, Miss Dumbledore, that I am very much a fan of saving time and working as efficiently as possible." Severus begun, warranting an exasperated eye-roll from his coworker as she thought back to the caterpillar scenario. Clearing his throat and shooting her a threatening look Snape continued his speech. "In order to further prove yourself I have arranged for us to complete several potions from your list simultaneously. "

"I'm sorry?" Aria asked, not fully comprehending how his set up could possibly help her grasp the correct brewing method for each individual potion, especially since they were ones she had admitted she was not completely familiar with.

"As you proved the other evening you are very capable of brewing a potion on your own, with my help you should have no problem perfecting say four? maybe five?" He shrugged slyly.

"Five!?" Aria gasped. "You do realise Professor Snape that the list of potions I gave you were those I am unfamiliar with. I wish to spend the time going over them with you, so when the time comes I will have no problem helping the students. I fear this method may not be ideal in allowing me to master those fine details."

"Well then, Miss Dumbledore, I fear you do not have what it takes to match the skills I require in an assistant."

"I want to make it clear, Professor Snape, that I am not your assistant. I am to be your apprentice. This means it is your duty to train me as such. I will do as you ask of me, but believe me I will not be pushed around and made a fool of for the whole of this year."

"Then I hope this means we understand each other Miss Dumbledore, for I will also not tolerate the back chat I received the other day when lessons finally commence."

"Then I suppose we both have to respect one another’s wishes." Aria stated finally, circling the desk of cauldrons. Beside each cauldron she found the list of instructions. Taking the time to read each one carefully, realising these potions will take a little longer than she anticipated. "These cannot be completed in a day?" She questioned.

"Clever girl, you noticed." Snape retorted sarcastically. "You see now why I could not dedicate one lesson to each potion. The potions have different brewing times and can all be left to rest over night, this gives you time memorise the instructions between lessons. We will complete them over the next three days, giving us both the weekend free."

Complying to his wishes Aria set about collecting her ingredients and began brewing each potion one after the other. It wasn't long before Aria noticed the Potions Master get comfortable behind his desk, burying his head in another one of his dusty old textbooks, she knew he would not be attempting to assist her any time soon.

The day was long and tedious. Neither Severus nor Aria felt the need to engage in any kind of conversation at the risk pissing the other off. Severus was clearly a lot more used to the silence and spent hours behind his desk reading, occasionally making small notes in the margins of his book. Aria on the other hand felt every slight noise she made was amplified a hundred times over, hesitant to make too much noise at the risk of Snape telling her off.

The room quickly became stuffy and humid from the constant steam emitting from all five cauldrons. The young Professor struggled to work in her tight, un-breathable clothing, she had previously thought was a wise choice for her sessions with Severus. The witch peeled her thick locks of hair from her perspiring face, pulling it up into quick messy bun. Struggling to breath from the fumes, Aria took a short break, sliding off her uncomfortable shoes, hiking her skirt up to her thighs, to air out her legs and unbuttoning her blouse exposing her chest. This did not go unnoticed by the older professor, as he stealthily watched her over the top of his book, absentmindedly turning a page ever second or two. Aria let out a throaty groan, fanning herself down with a nearby notebook.

“Aren’t you hot?.” She panted.

Severus felt his jaw almost drop in awe at the woman's movements as she rose from her chair, reaching up to the sky to stretch out her bones, her skirt shifted further up her thighs as she did so.

"Can't we open the door or something." She gasped the heat getting the better of her. Severus wriggled uncomfortably in his seat, unable to take his eyes off her body. Her eye catching his, Aria awkwardly attempted to cover herself up. Shocked at the Professor's boldness, she began to roll down her skirt covering back up her legs, her chest on the other hand remained bare.

"Professor." She spoke again, trying to catch his attention.

"Umm, very well. If you must." He flustered, clearing his throat, embarrassed he had been staring in the first place, let alone been caught out.

"You don't tend to be around women much, do you Severus?" Aria questioned, seeing no reason either of them should pretend she hadn't just caught him looking.

"Professor Snape." He once again stressed. "And I don't really think that's any of your concern, is it Miss Dumbledore."

"Forgive me. I was just trying to make a little conversation." Aria found herself rolling her eyes at the man once again. "The day has dragged in after all, it might go quicker if we talk?"

"I prefer to work in silence." He retorted, carefully ensuring his eyes did not leave the page of his book.

"I'm just saying." She pushed further, ignoring his statement. "I don't blame you. Being stuck in this school 10 months of the year cannot allow for much of a private life."

"No it does not." Severus agreed, his eyes burning into the page, not seeing a word that was written.

"Still." Aria continued, going back to brewing her potions. "It doesn't mean it's impossible. I'm sure there's plenty of women in Hogsmeade willing to date, bar maidens and what not." She shrugged.

"That may very well be true Miss Dumbledore, but I am not interested."

"Men then." She stated, raising one eyebrow playfully, although she knew very well he did not bat for the other team .

"Don't be absurd." The Professor scoffed.

"What about hobbies." She chose to change the subject, turning up the heat on potion number 3. "What do you do for fun?"

"Read." Snape replied bluntly, motioning to the book in front of him, turning the page though no information entered his brain from the last.

The pair continued to talk for the remainder of the day, although Severus provided nothing but blunt responses to his apprentices enquires, he had to admit, he was not completely opposed to her company. Soon it came time for the potions to be taken off their heat and left to rest for the night. It saddened Aria knowing she had to go back to her quarters, having no one to speak to until it came time for dinner with Hagrid, and though she hated to admit it their conversations on bowtruckles and grindylows had become rather tedious.

Pausing as she reached her exit, Aria turned back to her mentor, who didn't even look up from his desk. "Professor Snape." She spoke to get his attention. "Do you fancy joining us for dinner? Hagrid and I, that is. I usually bring food down from the kitchens, so you don't have to worry about his cooking." She laughed nervously.

"Spending my evening in his cramped hut, being drooled on by that beast of his and discussing the best way to distinguish knarls from hedgehogs? Sounds like the perfect evening." He commented sarcastically. "Goodnight, Miss Dumbledore."

Letting out a short breath Aria Dumbledore flashed one last smile at the Professor before taking her leave. "Goodnight, Professor Snape."

Taglist:

@ayamenimthiriel

#severus snape #severus snape imagine #severus x oc #severus snape one shot #Harry Potter #harry potter and the goblet of fire #harry potter fanfiction #severus snape fanfiction #alan rickman #severus x reader #severus x y/n #potions master #potions masters apprentice #dumbledores granddaughter #dumbledore #severus snape fluff #severus snape smut

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vlerian-root · 3 years ago

Text

I say "my comfort character is Draco Malfoy, I love him" But I have gone so far into my own fanon idea of him that it is not the Draco you know (and maybe also love). Nope. Not at all. Fucking hate that rich preposterous bully.

What I mean by him being my comfort character is: "After meticulous analysis of the films (and a little bit of the books, where it was conveninet) I have developed a huce resonance and atrtatchment to the character as the boy who had no chance. Because do you really have a choice when you are born and bred to be a carbon copy of your parents and their ideals, their prejudice? When it is sort of obvious, if you read into it (thank you Jason Isaacs, your plan to give people something to be sorry for Draco worked wonders) his parents expect the world and more from him. And if he doesn't deliver? Lucius is way to happy waving that cane around and it's making me very uneasy. I'm not saying Lucius is an abusive father, but I would not put it past him, under the guise of "discipline". Cold punishment to cut out unwanted behaviours, showers in riches and luxury and anything he wants when he gets what mommy and daddy want.

Do you really think, as a child, you could see past this ruse? No. You could not. It was good for you and it made you happy, so why would you see past it? But then the child grows up and following Mom and Dad means following wizard h*tler too. He is not even 15 when the Dark Lord returns, and his whole world outside of school bends over backwards to please his every whim, so as to not fall on his bad side. That bad side means death. So now the stakes have risen. It's no longer do what father said or I will get punished, this is do what father said because it's the Dark Lord's will, and going against that will means death.

Do you think a 15 year old that has to sit at extremist murderous fascists meetings in his own dining room every night can even think of escaping this fate? Do you think he is confident in his own abilities to escape the wolf's den? While his family is trapped, willingly or not, under his foot? No, he can't.

He is not selfish or stupid. He knows that there are consequences to his actions, and any sort of failure will mean demise for the only people who have shown him love in this world (even if very conditional). So Draco stays, and Draco does as he is told, even when it breaks him with impossible tasks and renders him a traitor to the entirery of the rest of the wrold he knows. Because the other option is death, multiple deaths. Perhaps he was ok with his own at one point, but he cannot bear sacrifice others just for his own benefit.

People call him selfish, a bully, closeminded. But was he ever really any of those things? When he stuck with his childhood friends since before Hogwarts, and stuck with them even when they were proven to be trash at everything, and not even useful for his own shenanigans? Was he closeminded when he was spoonfed bigotry since he was born, and punished for not replicating it to a T? He was a bully, because he was taught to be a bully, and there was no other option ever presented. You cannot have a child go through all that, and then welcome them at the other end with accusations of the very things you made them become.

Some other people call him a coward, because he didn't try to flee, not even once. Are you blind? He was the bravest person in the entire school, when he was singlehandedly taking on an impossible task, just to give his family some time, some sliver of hope, of surviving the Unforgivable Mistake his own father made (fucking up retrieving the Prophecy) If he failed, they would all die. If he succeeded, a lot of other people would die. In the end, he failed, but again, he had no real choice here. Dumbledore's death was orchestrated outside of his knowledge, but nobody thought of letting him know even after the fact, to ease his guilt. He spent an entire year pretending to try to kill and unkillable man, just so he could maybe get some credit but not need to complete the dreaded task. Futile, really, but he did try until the very end. Snape, who was supposed to help him, was just controlling when that cabinet was supposed to open, according to Dumbledore's whims. Draco had zero control. I'm not even so sure he was the one to fix the damn thing.

A person so devoid of control about their own life, who still tried so damn hard, just to be cast aside as a bully and a traitor, just breaks my fucking heart!!

And I can relate. I do relate.

To the conditional love of his parents, to the conditional support of his peers, to the constant act he had to keep up in order to benefit from any of his privileges - that he did not ask for. To the mountains of lies, upon lies, flung to everyone who might pry, who might hear. In the end, even to himself, to the point where reality and delusion overlap and lose all meaning. To holding onto one last hope, even when you know it's futile, because if you don't... you don't want to think about what will happen if you stop.

I relate to this, on a personal level, twice over. Draco is me, but Draco is also the best friend I had growing up.

I'm the Draco that fought tooth and nail and lost the battle, but never surrendered. The one that eventually fled, and changed his self to be a better person, all on his own.

My friend is the Draco that was a coward. The Draco that never changed, that always settled, because death and being alone was way too overpowering of a threat.

I suffer with myself every day. It is very hard to learn to love the parts of myself that I was taught to shame and blame and hate.

My friend never changed. We broke up almost a decade ago. She was manipulated into being a hateful, closeminded, horrible bully, and my heart breaks for her every single day. Her name is the same as mine. There is not a moment I am not reminded of her. I loved my friend.

So when I say that Draco Malfoy is my comfort character, I mean that his journey offers me a chance to explore my own trauma, in a way that I can offer comfort and feel love towards a person, that I know is a projection of me.

Loving Malfoy means loving myself."

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. I will not be answering any questions.

#val rants #draco malfoy #character analysis #i think?#long post #this is very much my own fanon take and I don't want criticism thank you #this is how I cope #idk why im posting but im severely sleeep deprived and had a Thought

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senadimell · 5 years ago

Note

If you've got time to share, I'd love to hear more about your thoughts around Snape and Lupin.

@deathdaydungeon, here you are!

After a conversation with @frederick-the-great, I’ve been thinking about Lupin, Snape, and what they say about morality in HP. I’m not talking about the troublesome white hats, black hats morality, but am instead looking at from this angle: Lupin is nice and well-liked, but often lacks a backbone, whereas Snape is mean and disliked, but incredibly brave. Which is more important? I find Harry’s last sacrifice to be a useful point by which we measure their impact.

Lupin and Snape useful to compare on several important fronts.

As foils for each others’ teaching methods

The way they deal with social disadvantage

Their connections to Harry’s father and how they pass on James’ legacy

1) They both teach at Hogwarts, and are foils for each other in many ways. Snape is mean and takes away points. He’s seen as selfish. His classes are hard and unpleasant for Harry. He’s mean to Neville, and rather than encouraging him, mocks him and belittles him, which just adds to the overall disaster of Neville’s poor self-esteem mixing badly with potions class.

However, even Umbridge admits that Snape’s teaching methods work, and she’s working for Fudge who doesn’t like Death Eaters and has been defied by Snape in GoF, so we know he’s effective for a lot of people, if not Neville.

Yet, for all that, Snape saves Harry’s life multiple times. On top of that, Snape wants to keep the fact that he saved Harry’s life a secret.

“Very well. Very Well. But never--Never tell, Dumbledore! This must be between us! Swear it, I cannot bear...especially Potter’s son...I want your word!

My word, Severus, that I will never reveal the best of you? Dumbledore sighed, looking down into Snape’s ferocious, anguished face. “If you insist...”

DH 679, The Prince’s Tale

Conversely, Lupin is nice and rewards points. He’s seen as generous. His classes are fun and interesting for Harry. He’s kind to Neville, and expresses confidence in him that leads him to succeed and do well. That confidence is a huge part of Neville’s character development. I doubt he’d grow into the resistance leader in DH if not for the many times teachers expressed confidence in him, like Dumbledore in PS, Lupin in PoA, Fake!Moody in GoF, and Harry in OotP. Harry certainly approves of his methods:

“You’re the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we’ve ever had!” said Harry. “Don’t go!”

PoA 424, Owl Post Again

However, it’s worth noticing that Hermione does worse on his exam than we ever see. She fails the Boggart test, and she and Harry were the only two people not permitted to experience the Boggart in class. Lupin’s teaching methods aren’t foolproof. Despite that, he’s overall seen as a nice guy and good teacher.

Yet Lupin endangers Harry’s life. The secrets he keeps are dangerous: his secret to keep is that he’s a werewolf and actively endangered three students lives with his negligence, as well as the fact that he hid a secret about a believed and convicted mass murderer to save face with Dumbledore.

“That was still really dangerous! Running around in the dark with a werewolf! What if you’d given the others the slip, and bitten somebody?”

“A thought that still haunts me,” Lupin said heavily. “And there were near misses, many of them. We laughed about them afterwards. We were young, thoughtless--carried away with out own cleverness.

“I sometimes felt guilty about betraying Dumbledore’s trust, of course....he had admitted me to Hogwarts when no other headmasters would have done so, and he had no idea I was breaking the rules he had set down for my own and others’ safety. He never knew I had led three fellow students into becoming Animagi illegally. But I always managed to forget my guilty feelings every time we sat down to plan our next month’s adventure. And I haven’t changed...

Lupin’s face had hardened, and there was self-disgust in his voice. “All this year I have been battling with myself, wondering whether I should tell Dumbledore that Sirius was an Animagus. But I didn’t do it. Why? Because I was too cowardly. It would have meant admitting that I’d betrayed his tryst while I was at school, admitting that I’d led others along with me...and Dumbledore’s trust has meant everything to me. He let me into Hogwarts as a boy, and he gave me a job when I have been shunned all my adult life, unable to find paid work because of what I am. And so I convinced myself that Sirius was getting into the school using Dark Arts he learned from Voldemort, that being an Animagus had nothing to do with it...so in a way, Snape’s been right about me all along.”

PoA 355, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs

Plan is emphasized because those trips that ended in “near misses” weren’t some impulsive romp. They were planned and coordinated in advance.

“I just saw Hagrid,” said Harry. “And he said you’d resigned. It’s not true, is it?”

“I’m afraid it is, said Lupin. He stared opening his desk drawers and taking out the contents.

“Why?” said Harry. The Ministry of Magic don’t think you were helping Sirius, do they?”

Lupin crossed to the door and closed it behind Harry.

“No. Professor Dumbledore managed to convince Fudge that I was trying to save your lives.” He sighed. “That was the final straw for Severus. I think* the loss of the Order of Merlin hit him hard. So he--er--accidentally let slip that I am a werewolf this morning at breakfast.”

“You’re not leaving because of that!” said Harry.

Lupin smiled wryly.

“This time tomorrow, the owls will start arriving from parents ....They will not want a werewolf teaching their children, Harry. And after last night, I see their point. I could have bitten any of you...That must never happen again.

“You’re the best Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher we’ve ever had!” said Harry. “Don’t go!”

PoA 424, Owl Post Again

What strikes me about this conversation is how Lupin shifts the blame around. This doesn’t start with an admission of guilt. He’s not leaving because the parents are right. He’s not leaving because he’s seen how dangerous he can be, or because he owns up to making an incredibly dangerous decision. He’s leaving because Snape forced his hand. If Snape didn’t do that, he would do the same thing he’s always been doing: sweeping his misdoing under the rug and promising himself privately that he’s going to change, but never doing it.

It’s always someone else’s fault for Lupin. That’s a neat tie in to the next point of comparison:

2. Lupin and Snape both experience marginalization in wizarding society, but in very different ways. Lupin faces socio-legal** marginalization and Snape faces socio-economic marginalization.

Lupin’s a werewolf. We see how prejudice affects his life, from his inability to find a job and his worn out clothes to his people-pleasing nature. He’s always acting nice and harmless. He does nothing to play into the condemning stereotypes he’s faced since childhood. Despite that, he still can’t find a job. Nobody will hire him, and people are scared to interact with him. From the way he talks about werewolves, it’s implied that this prejudice is held blindly across Wizarding society. Both Ron and Hermione are horrified to learn Lupin’s a werewolf. *** Later on, he’s legally limited in the kinds of jobs he holds and the kind of magic he’s allowed to perform. Lupin has no control over his transformations, and did not choose his condition.

Lupin’s not really wrong when pities himself. The odds really are stacked against him when he’s treated as if he’s a wolf 24/7, not just a few predictable times a month. His prospects are honestly awful.

The problem is, his condition is dangerous. Thus, the issue of victim blaming is particularly thorny for Lupin. He can’t just accept that he’s a monster for something he has no say over, and yet he can’t escape the fact that sometimes he is monstrous for reasons out of his control. He feels guilty for the people he could have hurt, but also seems to resent that people blame him for something that’s not his fault. The problem is that he carries that lack of accountability into spheres where he should be accountable, like not taking his medication and endangering children because of it.

Snape’s story is very different. He is poor in both the wizard and muggle worlds, and half-blooded, and was sorted into Slytherin as a child. He doesn’t have one condition against him, but checks boxes that make it hard for any one side to accept him. He’s too impure and poor to survive on his own for the Slytherin, but is a Slytherin with Death Eater friends and housemates interested in dark magic, which means he’s never going to fit in with the Order of the Phoenix crowd, especially when some of its members torment him at school. ****4

This essay makes a convincing point that the wizarding world is not a meritocracy, and that people like Snape need powerful patronage to advance if they don’t have the money to support themselves.

I don’t consider the sorting a proper choice. I know Harry does, but I’m of the opinion that at age 11, very few people have been taught how to analyze different perspectives and make an informed decision. Most 11-year-olds are trained to obey their parents and accept their family’s ideology. Harry’s choice rests on very little evidence--most of what he knows is what Hagrid told him, and that he doesn’t want to be sorted into Voldemort’s house along with Draco Malfoy, someone who reminds him of Dudley. I don’t think Snape was very informed either (I’d love to know why), because he doesn’t realize why it Lily wouldn’t be sorted into Slytherin.

“You’d better be in Slytherin,” said Snape, encouraged that she had brightened a little. DH 671, The Prince’s Tale

Either the pureblood rhetoric just wasn’t strong in those days, or his mother didn’t tell him about that.

...“Where are you heading, if you’ve got the choice?”

James lifted an invisible sword.

“’Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!’ Like my dad.”

Snape made a small, disparaging noise. James turned on him.

“Got a problem with that?”

“No,” said Snape, though his slight sneer said otherwise. “If you’d rather be brawny than brainy--”

DH 671-2, The Prince’s Tale

It seems that most people just follow familial preferences. As to why Snape wants to be in Ravenclaw over Slytherin, my preferred interpretation is that he had a family legacy, knew that Slytherin rewarded the ambitious and clever, and that Slughorn, the head of Slytherin house, had a knack for making the kind of connections that a poor, clever boy would need to succeed.

Nevertheless, once Snape was in Slytherin, the odds were stacked against him. The house in that era was full of people who would later be Death Eaters. “Dark Magic” wasn’t frowned upon among his housemates, and siding with Voldemort wasn’t yet widely acknowledged as a transgression by wider society.

“No, no, but believe me, [Sirius’ parents] thought Voldemort had the right idea, they were all for the purification of the wizarding race, getting rid of Muggle-borns and having pure-bloods in charge. They weren’t alone either, there were quite a few people, before Voldemort showed his true colors, who thought he had the right idea about things.…” OotP 112

Additionally, people like Bellatrix were in the years above him, and given how Fred and George acted with younger students, I think it’s highly likely younger students had to find a place in the hierarchy or be the target of ‘pranks.’ He was a halfblood, after all, and dirt poor.

Snape knew these people. He ate with them, slept with them, and went to class with them. It is so much easier to understand and befriend someone you spend time with. I’d say that most people who subscribe to problematic ideologies aren’t just awful to be around all the time, or else these movements wouldn’t gain any traction. They’re likely funny and nice to be around if you’re not on their bad side.

In addition to strong peer pressure to befriend the people who would be death eaters, he was also bullied four to one. His bullies received protection from the headmaster when he was nearly killed or permanently maimed. They were popular and well liked.

The best analogy I’ve heard to describe Snape's Hogwarts situation is that he’s a kid in a rough neighborhood who joins the local gang. It provides protection and the hope of social mobility, and from his perspective, the other gang fights just as dirty (his treatment by the marauders). He doesn’t stop to think that the system is flawed, or that the gang’s very existence indicates the failure of authority and threatens its members. He just sees himself as a kid with nothing who needs help with protection and advancement. We know that Voldemort hasn’t shown his true colors, and it’s possible he showed different faces to different people.

‘Now, yer mum an’ dad were as good a witch an’ wizard as I ever knew. Head Boy an’ Girl at Hogwarts in their day! Suppose the myst’ry is why You-Know-Who never tried to get ’em on his side before ... probably knew they were too close ter Dumbledore ter want anythin’ ter do with the Dark Side.

‘Maybe he thought he could persuade ’em ... maybe he just wanted ’em outta the way. All anyone knows is, he turned up in the village where you was all living, on Hallowe’en ten years ago. You was just a year old. He came ter yer house an’ – an’ –’ (“The Keeper of the Keys”)

Dumbledore’s cited as the reason they turned him down, not their blood status. I think there’s evidence that the wholesale anti-muggleborn campaign wasn’t a huge part of the first wizarding war, and wasn’t implemented until the second, even if there was anti-muggle propaganda. (Muggle=/=muggleborn). It’s implied that Tobias is abusive and that Snape hates him for what he did to him and his mother; it’s implied that faced class prejudice by the muggles around him as well:

“I know who you are. You’re that Snape boy! They live down Spinner’s End by the river,” she told Lily, and it was evident from her tone that she considered the address a poor recommendation.

DH 665, The Prince’s Tale

When you read stories about people who are able to escape cycles of gang violence and poverty, there’s almost always someone who lifts them out. There’s someone who pushes them, or extends a hand, or believes in them. There are community outreach programs, or churches, or an English teacher that pushed them to do better and try out for a scholarship. That person is usually someone who knows what it’s like and knows how hard it is to get out.

Snape doesn’t seem to get that support anywhere. Slughorn doesn’t seem to notice him, for whatever reason. Lily doesn’t approve of his friends, but also doesn’t understand at all what the pull is--that it’s hard to swim against the current of what everyone else is saying, despite the fact that she feels the same pressure to end her friendship with Snape.

“… thought we were supposed to be friends?” Snape was saying. “Best friends?” “We are, Sev, but I don’t like some of the people you’re hanging round with! I’m sorry, but I detest Every and Mulciber! Mulciber! What do you see in him, Sev, he’s creepy! D’you know what he tried to do to Marry Macdonald the other day?”

DH 673, The Prince’s Tale

In the very same conversation, the fact that Snape is not allowed to share what happened to him with Lupin and the werewolf incident means that Lily will never be able to understand what Snape is facing: That the leader of the good guys makes excuses for and protects people who recklessly endanger the lives of others.

“And you’re being really ungrateful. I heard what happened the other night. You went sneaking down that tunnel by the Whomping Wollow, and James Potter saved you from whatever’s down there--”

Snape’s whole face contorted and he spluttered, “Saved? Saved? You think he was playing the hero? He was saving his neck and his friends’ too!...”

DH 674, The Prince’s Tale

Later in the year after SWM, she tells Snape this:

“None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you.”

DH 675 The Prince’s Tale

She expects him to reject all of his classmates and stand against the tide, despite the fact that she knows how hard it is to do that and can’t comprehend why he sticks with his classmates. She expects him to be grateful to James Potter as if what he did was altruistic, because the Headmaster swore Snape to secrecy and he keeps his promises, despite the fact that someone else was spreading the story. (The fact that she says she heard it instead of talking about it like its common knowledge implies that she heard it from a friend, so our friends the Marauders likely weren’t keeping their lips zipped even if Snape was.)

I don’t say this to shift the blame away from Snape to Lily in regards to Snape joining the Death Eaters. I just want to point out that Lily wasn't someone who could help him break the cycle. He didn’t squander some chance she offered him. She just wasn’t enough to break him out--not empathetic, motivated, or well-informed enough. (I think the fact that they were peers plays a big role in that).

Ultimately, Snape did choose to join the Death Eaters. He did yield to peer pressure. He did obey his assignment and report the prophecy to Voldemort. He spent his youth yielding, following the path in front of him, and choosing what was probably the easier choice: stick with your group, find powerful friends, do what they want, and don’t ask too many questions about their methods. That’s what makes his decision to betray Voldemort so powerful to me.

Here’s part of the passage when Snape betrays Voldemort:

...The adult Snape was panting, turning on the spot, his wand gripped tightly in his hand, waiting for something or for someone...His fear infected Harry too, even though he knew that he could not be harmed, and he looked over his shoulder wondering what it was that Snape was waiting for--

Then a sliding, jagged jet of white light flew through the air. Harry thought of lightning, but Snape had dropped to his knees and his wand had flown out of his hand.

“Don’t kill me!”

DH 676, The Prince’s Tale

He was terrified. He knew he was caught between the world’s two most powerful wizards, but it was worth it if he could save his childhood friend.

Then when Lily dies:

“Her son lives. He has her eyes, precisely her eyes. You remember the share and color of Lily Evans’s eyes, I am sure?”

“DON’T!” bellowed Snape. “Gone...dead...”

“Is this remorse, Severus?”

“I wish..I wish I were dead....”

“And what use would that be to anyone?” said Dumbledore coldly.

DH 678, The Prince’s Tale

Whatever motivation Snape had before is gone. A person’s life who is not his own is worth more than his own, and he’s drowning in guilt. From now on, Snape works to be useful in saving Harry’s life, and later many lives, at risk of death. His choices are a black mark on his record, likely making it difficult for him to get a job when he’s been tried as a Death Eater, and all of his wizarding connections are Death Eaters or their associates. He has no money or influence. Dumbledore hires him.

So Lupin has a single ailment and faces constant social and legal discrimination. He constantly tries to undermine people’s expectations about werewolves by being mild, but unfortunately is too afraid of rejection and its consequences to stand up against bad behavior or take full responsibility for his failings. He has friends who support him, but do it by engaging in risky behavior. He does not stop them. Perhaps he fears exposure and expulsion. Perhaps he just likes belonging for once. Either way, he does not come clean until forced to.

Snape is different; instead of facing outright rejection, he’s from a poor background and grows up surrounded by peers who join something somewhere between a gang and a cult while being bullied by people groomed by a rival organization. The headmaster of his school supports the rival organization and swears him to secrecy about an incident when they endangered his life, sending the message that his life is worthless. That same group continues to publicly bully him. He continues down this path until he realizes that it endangers something he cares about, and makes a decision that puts him at risk of being killed by the two most powerful wizards alive. He changes course.

Snape seems to view his problems as challenges facing him, whereas Lupin sees his problems as part of who he is, and not something he can change. Lupin seems to accept what happens to him in a fatalist kind of way. He sees what happens as inevitable and somewhat out of his control, whereas Snape never seems to blame his circumstances for him becoming a death eater, even though they clearly limited his options. I think that attitude matters. However, because Lupin’s facing a fictional magical malady, it’s difficult to fully blame him for that attitude.

Both Lupin and Snape have to react to powerful societal pressure that makes it difficult for them to succeed. Comparing them is apples and oranges at best, because their circumstances were so different. I don’t think you can judge either’s morality based on group identity, though.

3. Finally, they both act as a window on James: who he was, and what he means to Harry, who never knew him. That means in some way, they help pass on his parental legacy to orphaned Harry.

Hogwarts is Harry’s home, which means that the teachers are more than just teachers, but play a symbolic parental role in his life.

Hogwarts was the first and best home he had known. He and Voldemort and Snape, the abandoned boys, had all found home here.

DH 697, The Forest Again

You can’t understand Harry without realizing what he lacks: a loving home and living parents. He’s always looking into the past to find his parents, and is saddled with a legacy he struggles to understand--why did he live, who were his parents, and what does he need to do now?

Lupin and Snape also share a connection with Harry that goes beyond a normal teacher-student relationship, unlike McGonagall or Flitwick. Snape and Lupin are more personally connected to Harry than the other professors because they know Harry’s parents and went to school with them. I will mostly focus on James from here on out since we know so little about Lily personally and Harry mostly tries to emulate or avoid his father’s behavior and legacy.

They’re also the last people who knew James to survive, and they die almost at the same time. They’re the only teachers apart from Dumbledore who give Harry private lessons. More importantly, these lessons are all tied thematically to Harry’s past. Harry’s experience with dementors and the patronus charm are his first re-encounter with his parents and his past.

Terrible though it was to hear his parents’ last moments replayed inside his head, these are the only times Harry had heard their voices since he was a very small child. But he’d never be able to produce a proper patronus if he half wanted to hear his parents again.

PoA 243, The Patronus

In the end of PoA, Harry sees himself and mistakenly thinks it’s his father.

“Come on!” he muttered, staring about. “Where are you? Dad, come on--”

But no one came. Harry raised his head to look atet he circle of dementors across the lake. One of them was lowering its hood. It was time for the rescuer to appear--but no one was coming to help this time--

And then it hit him--he understood. He hadn’t seen his father--he had seen himself--

Harry flung himself out from behind the bush and pulled out his want.

“EXPECTO PATRONUM!” he yelled.

PoA 411, Hermione’s Secret

So the patronus itself is linked up with Harry’s past, and his coming-of-age. He doesn’t rely on others to save him, but must do it himself. (Though Harry’s never really trusted the adults to save him.) It’s interesting to note that Harry actually learns the Patronus charm under Lupin’s tutelage.

On the other hand, Snape introduces Harry to the unpleasant side of his father’s legacy. Through Snape, we see that James wasn’t just a little cocky, but a bully.

“Apologize to Evans!” James roared at Snape, his wand pointed threateningly at him. “I don't want you to make him apologize,” Lily shouted, rounding on James. “You're as bad as he is.” “What?” yelped James. “I'd NEVER call you a--you-know-what!” “Messing up your hair because you think it looks cool to look like you've just got off your broomstick, showing off with that stupid Snitch, walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can--I'm surprised your broomstick can get off the ground with that fat head on it. You make me SICK.” She turned on her heel and hurried away.

....

He had no desire at all to return to Gryffindor Tower so early, nor to tell Ron and Hermione what he had just seen. What was making Harry feel so horrified and unhappy was not being shouted at or having jars thrown at him; it was that he knew how it felt to be humiliated in the middle of a circle of onlookers, knew exactly how Snape had felt as his father had taunted him, and that judging from what he had just seen, his father had been every bit as arrogant as Snape had always told him. OotP, Snape’s Worst Memory, emphasis added

It’s interesting note that Harry fails to learn Occlumency from Snape. (In fact, we never see Harry use magical skills he learned from Snape apart from Expelliarmus, which is...important). At the same time, he gains an important perspective.

You can’t have James without this part of him. However kind James was to Lupin, however brave James was when he saved his wife, he was neither kind nor brave when he bullied Snape. It’s uncomfortable and awkward, but it’s important.

When he had finished, neither Sirius nor Lupin spoke for a moment. Then Lupin said quietly, “I wouldn’t like you to judge your father on what you saw there, Harry. He was only fifteen —”

“I’m fifteen!” said Harry heatedly.

OotP

Harry rejects the idea that actively bullying someone is just folly of youth. He knows what it’s like to be disenfranchised. Regardless of what Snape and James’ relationship was, he didn’t deserve that kind of humiliation. And Lupin watched, and defends him. Harry has to grapple with that.

Ultimately, Snape and Lupin do more than just connect him to his past. They also teach him his two signature spells, Expelliarmus and Expecto Patronum. One saves his soul, and one saves his life and frees the wizarding world from Voldemort because of Voldemort’s fractured soul.

Snape and Lupin as moral counterpoints

How do we evaluate this:

“I’d never have believed this,” Harry said. “The man who taught me to fight dementors--a coward.”*****5

DH 213, The Bribe

and this?

“Albus Severus, you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew.

DH 758, Seventeen years later

Ultimately, I don’t think it’s really that useful to pit two people with different backgrounds against each other. At the same time, they represent two different halves of a question: when it comes down to it, should we try to be kind or brave? I don’t think you have to pick one, but when pursuing the two, there are bound to be moments of conflict.

I always come back to the lyrics to Last Midnight from Sondheim’s Into the Woods.******6

You're so nice You're not good You're not bad You're just nice I'm not good I'm not nice I'm just right I'm the witch You're the world

Snape doesn’t care about being nice. I think this is where most non-Snape fans start pulling out the pitchforks and torches. Snape isn’t nice, and he’s not nice to kids. He’s not nurturing.*******7 He’s abrasive, allergic to coddling, and petty when he can get away with it. In fact, most of the people he’s ‘nice’ to are significantly more powerful than him, or someone he needs to be on good terms with.

Lupin is nice. He’s mild. He’s often kind. However, he often picks being liked over standing up for something.

What does that result in? He doesn’t stand up for Snape. The bullying continues and keeps Snape firmly on his path. He wins the respect of the Gryffindors with the Snape Boggart incident but loses whatever credibility he had to tell Snape to ‘put their past behind him.’

On the other hand, Neville’s bravery in DH was nurtured by Lupin’s confidence. Neville kept hope alive and led a rebellion. Lupin is one of the few adults that Harry fully respects and trusts up until the Grimmauld place confrontation. (He likes Hagrid and Molly, but doesn’t necessarily trust them to make decisions in their best interest, while he usually respects Lupin’s judgement). Harry loves him, and it’s because he loved him and watched him die that he needs to act and fight back against Voldemort.

Ultimately, Harry’s relationship with James and the adults who pass on his legacy is one of the most important symbolic relationships in the book. The thematic resolution of the series is Harry’s act of sacrificial love.

He did not know what to feel, except shock at the way Snape had been killed, and the reason for which it had been done....

...He could not bear to look at any of the other bodies, to see who else had died for him. He could not bear to join the Weasleys, could not look into their eyes, when if he had given himself up in the first place, Fred might never had died...

He turned away and ran up the marble staircase. Lupin, Tongs...He yearned not to feel....He wished he could rip out his heart, his innards, everything that was screaming inside of him.

To escape into someone else’s head would be a blessed relief....Nothing that even Snape had left him could be worse than his own thoughts.

DH 660-662, The Prince’s Tale

He rushes to the headmaster’s office to escape into Snape's memories. His memories convince Harry that sacrificing himself is the expedient thing to do, and he heads to the Forbidden Forest. To enable is last sacrifice, he uses the Resurrection stone to witness his parents and his father’s friends. Their combined testimony is enough to ameliorate his personal fears about following through with this final act.

Lupin and Snape leave entirely different legacies behind. Lupin encourages and inspires. As an authority figure, he gives people like Neville space to grow and his compassion towards Harry gives him the strength to face his demons. Harry’s decision in DH to die must have something to do with the kindness he was shown, and the sacrifices people who loved him made for him, of which Lupin is a part. Despite what he saw in Princes’ Tale, Snape wasn’t one of the people who’d make an appearance with the Resurrection stone.

Yet Snape sacrificed his life for Harry and the wizarding world, entities that Snape didn’t seem to like and that certainly weren’t kind to him. His form of bravery is about endurance, tenacity, and willingness to do what is right even when you hate your allies and no one else is going to credit you for what you do. And that’s very Harry. Even if he hates Draco, he’s not about to let him die if he can help it. Harry has much more in common with Snape than Lupin, I think.

Since this is about souls, let’s return to the Patronus charm. Snape’s not the kind of person who typically inspires that kind of emotion required to cast a Patronus in others, at least from what we see in Harry’s perspective. Yet because he has experienced that love, he can cast it and shows Harry what needs to be done. Snape enables Harry to dive under the ice. Lupin’s the kind of person who can inspire a patronus, but isn’t the one to make the sacrifice play until after Harry confronts him about his duty to his family. Ultimately, though, they both sacrifice themselves in the Battle of Hogwarts.

* Ever since I realized how blatantly tangential Order of Merlin must be to Snape’s character motivation, that line has frustrated me to no end. There’s no way frothing-at-the-mouth PoA Snape just really coveted that Order of Merlin. He’s often petty, yeah, but if Lupin believes it’s just about that and has nothing to do with Snape’s real conviction about how dangerous Lupin’s actions were, he’s deluding himself. I hate that he passes it on to his students.

**Yes, I am making up words today. Lupin’s faces prejudice and discrimination on a social level enforced by increasingly powerful discriminatory laws.

*** It’s worth noting that if we take every book as equally valid canon, then there’s either widespread ignorance towards lycanthropy, as Lockhart convinces everyone he was able to “cure” the Wagga-Wagga werewolf, and as teenage Horcrux!Riddle said Hagrid raised werewolf cubs under his bed, or else lycanthropy is actually a wide range of conditions under a wolfy umbrella ranging from treatable to incurable. Lupin is our primary source for lycanthropy: he’s the one who tells us about Greyback, for example. If we hold the first two books as equally valid, then perhaps we only know about Lupin’s particular type of condition. That’s the Watsonian analysis, anyways.

****4 These footnotes are getting ridiculous. Basically, there’s no consensus on what Dark Magic is, and on what basis it’s Evil. This essay goes into things that are labelled as curses. I’m inclined to believe that the vast majority of Dark Magic is just Magic We Don’t Like for Reasons.

The definition of what is and isn't considered Dark Magic is never explained: often it just seems to mean "a curse I don't approve of". Even "curse" has never been satisfactorily defined, but we can certainly say that not all curses are regarded as evil, since some appear to be on the Hogwarts curriculum, and are certainly performed without censure.

*****5 While I paired the quotes at the top of this section together for dramatic effect, it’d be a shame not to look at the context of the Lupin fight.

“I thought you’d say [that your mission was top secret],” said Lupin, looking disappointed. But I might still be of some use to you. You know what I am and what I can do. I could come with you to provide protection. There would be no need to tell me exactly what you were up to. Harry hesitated. It was a very tempting offer.

Hermione then asks about Tonks.

“I’m pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren’t sticking with your own kid, actually”... ...“I’d never have believed this,” Harry said. “The man who taught me to fight dementors--a coward.”

...“Parents shouldn’t leave their kids unless--unless they’ve got to.”

...“I know I shouldn’t have called him a coward.”“No, you shouldn’t,” said Ron at once. “But he’s acting like one. “ “All the same...” said Hermione.

“I know,” said Harry. “But if it makes him go back to Tonks, it’ll be worth it, won’t it?”

He could not keep the plea out of his voice. Hermione looked sympathetic, Ron uncertain. Harry looked down at his feet, thinking of his father. Would James have backed Harry in what he had said to Lupin, or would he have bene angry at how his son had treated his old friend?

DH 213, The Bribe

Harry feels personally betrayed that someone who has a family and child would abandon them. Here he is unyielding and accusing to someone he cares about in the hopes that they re-evaluate what matters. It’s a rather Snape-like tactic, actually. Or else a Dumbledore one.

I love the dialogue in this scene, but have some major issues with how Harry’s internalization drops out the window for shock value. JKR does the same thing when has Harry pull the Veritaserum trick in HBP. I don’t like it.

******6 The witch and Snape aren’t perfect analogues, since she’s decidedly more amoral in my opinion, but they’re both contractually-motivated characters whose humanity is shown by their (platonic/familial) love for a more “innocent” character and the guilt at the innocent character’s sacrificial death. Guilt doesn’t lead the witch to do anything productive, and for Snape it does, which is where they diverge on the character path.

*******7 Draco may be an exception to this. However, watching Snape struggle to build rapport with Draco in HBP leads me to think that while Snape’s been on Draco’s side, he’s still not “nurturing,” or in other words, good at cultivating trust and encouraging the strong and wholesome parts of someone’s personality to grow.

#hp meta #snape #pro snape #severus snape #remus lupin #i haven't figured out how to make this appear above the cut...

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poisonously-alluring-sev · 4 years ago

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Snape One Shots ~ Gift of Sparks

Summary: Sabrina is a rebellious student who unfortunately will realize that her relationship with another student isn’t going to end well. Also she finds out that someone she didn’t think cared for her actually does.

Pairing: Snape x Female

Warnings: Swearing & Violence

Time: Order of The Phoenix

Word Count: 4900

Recommended Song: Therefore I Am by Billie Eilish

Main Character: Sabrina Sparks; 16; DOB: April, 22nd 1980 (Taurus); American; Caucasian; Slytherin

Running my hands through his hair he let out a groan that I missed like hell. My boyfriend, Christoper Lolar who most people called Chris, was pinning me against the wall in the halls of the dungeons. He wasn't the kind of student who follow the rules, he was kinda like a mix between Sirius Black and Draco Malfoy. He never listened to his parents, pulled pranks, and was loyal to being an asshole. As he grinds against me, getting a moan out of me, he deepened the kiss and before I could even respond we heard someone clear their throat out from the other side of the hallway We had just been caught outside of our dorms in the middle of the night, breaking the rules, and on top of that we had been caught making out and who knows how long that teacher was watching like a creep. Chris spun around on his toes ready to yell or argue with whoever interrupted us. Letting me move from the wall and drop my hands from his hair. Chris crossed his arms as I stood behind him kind of trying to hide from whoever it was. Normally I wasn't the kind of person to do that, but I was, in fact, a lot more bold than him and I was always the person to step in front of others. Waiting as the adult walked closer to us with their wand out as soon as they got a few more feet closer I could tell that it was Snape who had caught us. I knew that we were in for it now as we would have to go to detention and since Chris was in a very dominant mood right now he was going to snap back and buy us more time cleaning the potions class. Running a hand through my own hair I took a step forward and wrapped my one hand around his waist I whispered into his right ear,

"Don't go ham okay? I don't want to spend weeks in detention." He hummed back, but I wasn't sure if he really got the message. Moving my face away from his ear I kept hidden behind him waiting until we were told what kind of trouble we had coming for us. The professor finished walking up to us and shone his light right in our faces making mine crunch up as my eyes were used to the dim hallway and not the full power of the sun.

"What the hell are two students doing down he- Oh Ms. Sparks and Mr. Lolar, should've known you'd both be here." Chris tensed up once Snape spoke and I just stood there hoping things don't go down too mad. Chris covered his eyes when Snape raised it into his face and said,

"Hmm. Seems as though Ms. Spark isn't as tough as I thought." He was pointing out the fact that I was hiding behind my boyfriend Chris let out a growl in my defence in said,

"You don't know anything about her, now could you please lower your wand." Snape glared at him and slowly lowered his wand eyeing us both like we were about to jump at him. I wouldn't put it past Chris to actually jump at him. I moved closer to him and frowned at Snape as he insulted me and I wasn't the kind to enjoy taking those. Snape scoffed at the sight, slowly turned around and said as he walked away,

"Mr. Lolar, detention starting next week, and Ms. Sparks," He turned back around to look at me, "Probably best if you get started tonight." I groaned and started to walk up to him, but Chris caught my wrist.

"No way." Snape raised an eyebrow at him and straightened out his posture and said,

"I'm sorry Lolar?"

"There is no way she's going to detention, and either is I." Snape seemed to raise his eyebrow even more at this and said,

"You can't argue with me Mr. Lolar, rules are rules."

"Well, you should just shut your mouth and leave us alone." I elbowed him in the side when I glanced over at him. He just frowned at me.

"Say one more thing out of line Mr.Lolar and your behaviour will be addressed by the Headmaster."

"Piece of shit," Chris mumbled, and when Snape took a couple of steps forward I knew that we were in for it now. Sighing out loud I moved out of the way for Snape and he walked straight up to my boyfriend and said something very quietly that I couldn't hear. He spun around with a bit of a smirk on his face and yelled at me to follow him. Looking back at Chris he seemed very angry, angry because he wasn't able to fight back at Snape. Being very confused as to what just happened I followed Snape, which was more like chasing after him until we got down to his classroom. It was like 12 am so I was decently tired as it was and this wasn't going to help. He slammed the door shut behind me making me jump a bit since there was no talking as we walked here. He huffed as he passed me and sat down at his desk. Sighing out loud he told me to just wipe down the tables, even though it looked like he already had someone do it today. I wasn't really in the mood for arguing with him more since I didn't want to be down here any longer than I had to be, and I also didn't know how many days Snape wanted me down here.

In case you couldn't tell, Snape wasn't that big of a fan of my work. Being the modern-day James Potter it was clear when I put my first step out of line Snape was ready to have me clean his class every night. When I got together with Chris after he moved to Hogwarts from Iverrmory after he lit the place on fire, it was clear that we were going to be the most popular couple who also happened to cause a lot of trouble. Being lost in thought as I cleaned I didn't notice Snape trying to talk to me until he yelled my name. Being as shocked as I was to his booming voice I stayed calm and wasn't going to give him the satisfaction of scaring me with his voice. Looking up from what I was doing I hummed back in response as he continued.

"He's no good." I stopped what I was doing confused as to what he meant by that.

"What?" He rolled his eyes as he leaned back in his chair.

"Mr. Lolar. He's a no good, rebel child." I was now questioning why he thinks that he had the right to act like my Dad.

"And why the hell do you think that." I stood up straight and crossed my arms ready to throw some hard punches at him. I was never a really nice person to any of the professors and I wasn't planning on being nice to Snape, ever, mainly now. He huffed at me as I continued.

"What makes you think that you have the right to act like my father?" He raised an eyebrow at me and said,

"Oh no, I would gladly never like to be your father. Mr. Lolar however, his parents are death eaters." This time it was my turn to raise an eyebrow and question him.

"So, it's not like everyone is perfect." He seemed to soften his gaze on me for a second, but it could just seem that way as it was fairly dark in the room and he was on the other side of it.

"No, you don't get it to do you?" Snape stood up and slowly walked towards me, but before he got about five feet to me, he leaned onto one of the desks that I had just cleaned.

"He's a death eater." Now I was pissed.

"And how do you know that hmm? Do you spy on him and his family or do you enjoy making rumours about people who have a better chance and getting laid than you?" I knew that it was a little over the top, but I wanted to get my point across to him, and it clearly worked since he stood up and glared at me as I had just smacked him. Well, I guess I smacked his ego a bit.

"Why you ungrateful-"

"Oh no, I'm grateful alright. Just pissy that I have to spend the first hours of the day with you." We glared at each other for a bit before I realized that even if it was true how could he know? Dumbledore wouldn't know, but he would keep a lookout. And if Chris was, he hasn't done anything of the sort. I mean yes Voldemort is back, but when all of that happened Chris was with me, and he has never even left my side. Now I was wondering if I asked the right question will he try to hide the fact that he knows something I don't and possibly even admit to being a death eater himself. I was smirking my head off at this point and Snape was probably wondering why until I asked him,

"If Chris was a death eater, how in Merlin's name would you know? Hmm?" I raised an eyebrow as he kept a straight face. I could tell that he was getting annoyed by my snappy behaviour so I wasn't surprised when he told me,

"Just get back to cleaning or I'll double your detention."

"Oh, so you are hiding something," I mumbled loud enough for him to hear. I watched as he tensed up and continued to tense him with,

"Chris hasn't done anything wrong, but break school rules, so if you know he's a death eater, you must have some kind of-"

"Enough!" He yelled as he turned around. Trying not to seem surprised by his yelling I stood there with my arms crossed as he continued.

"Fine. If this is what you're doing to get out of detention, be my guest and leave. But having it with Flich isn't any better." I nodded to him, grabbed my stuff, and left to the common room. Smirking my way back through the halls I came into contact with Professor Flitwick and since I had just come from detention I didn't bother hiding since I would just tell him that I was with Snape. My only mistake was, he wouldn't believe me as it was 1 am. Realizing this as he told me that it wasn't possible I went on to tell him about what happened. That I had already been caught in the halls tonight and I did detention but left out the part where I probably got more. He still didn't buy it and took ten points from my house. Almost immediately I was going to scream at him for not believing me, but he walked away quicker than I could think. Cursing Flitwick under my breath I walked into the common room to see Chris waiting for me. He walked up to me and said,

"You alright?" He came up and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Of course I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be?" I kissed his cheeked and said under his breath,

"Damn bat, he's lucky he didn't take me instead." I shoved his shoulder and walked up to my dorm with him following.

"What happened anyway?" I wasn't going to tell him all of the stuff Snape told me so I kept that part short and talked more about Flitwick acting all proud and tough about catching me. I knew that Snape was going to notice the loss of points from me and wonder why. Maybe then Flitwick will realize that he was too up in his own ass to remember that Snape doesn't go by school rules when it comes to detention. I would love to see his guilty face when that happens. Kissing Chris before I snuck into my dorm I knew that all of that talk I had with Snape was going to stay in my head so I quickly wrote it down on a piece of paper as to ease my mind about it and maybe get some sleep as it was already stolen from me because of Snape. I rubbed my eyes before I laid down in bed because I still felt like there was a bright light shining in my eyes thanks to Snape.

Waking up the next morning wasn't fun. I woke up to the sound of a screaming owl. Groaning as I got up I opened the window and stared into the eyes of a small barn owl with a small piece of parchment. Pulling it from its beck I read the information on it which happened to be the time and date of my next detentions. Sighing at the news I got ready for breakfast, realizing I had bags under my eyes I threw on a pair of sunglasses and some basic clothes. Knowing it was a Sunday, most people would be sleeping in so the great hall was going to be a bit empty this morning. Getting my spot at the table I knew that Dumbledore wasn't going to have any kind of speech for us today so the food was out as soon as the hall was decently filled. Not really in the mood to eat a whole lot I just took some toast and bacon. Slowly eating the food on my place, I felt a hand be placed on my shoulder and as I turned around I got a face full of the lip. Chris wasn't really the one to show romance in public places, he just kinda does it to show off in away. After that, he sat down beside me and making my day a little better. He talked with our friends who happened to sit on the other side of us and even though I wasn't talking, I was enjoying their chatter about nonsense. Laughing along with them for the majority of breakfast was a blast. It wasn't often during the weekends that you got to stop and talk about random stuff versus classes if you even talked about them at all. Nearing the end I just so happened to look up at the teachers' table and saw Snape staring me down like a hawk, but soon I realized he was glaring at Chris. Remembering what happened last night I frowned at him and just out of spite I leaned over it Chris and gave him a gentle peck on the lips smiling at him making him smile back. Also causing his jockey friend to wolf whistle and him to throw food at them for it.

We all joked around a bit after that and I also caught Snape looking like he was about to jump up and down with anger. I smirked at him since I knew had won this time, but I also caught the attention of some of my girlfriends who didn't seem to think to it hold back. They asked why I smirked at Snape then starting making jokes to which I laughed at, but Chris didn't I looked over and he didn't seem happy so I whispered to him,

"Snape was making accusations about you last night, saying that you're not good for me and whatnot. So I throw one back at him." He chuckled.

"That's my girl." He then went on with making fun of his friends. Once we left the great hall we all decided to head back to the Slytherin common room, even though we had to sneak in our Ravenclaw friend and have a bit of a hang out in Chris' dorm which he also shared with a friend. We knew that we would get caught for a couple of reasons, the obvious being we snuck another house member into our common room and the fact that three girls were in the boy's side of the dorms. We didn't care though, it was our thing to break the rules and we had taught so many others about sneaking into the dorms that everybody used it at some point. The professors didn't care to keep up with our lot. One of the girls had stolen some mead from the kitchens during her detention and brought it with her since we would probably be bored if we hadn't had something to drink. Plus it was the weekend and we could always just take a potion to help the hangover if we even got one. We each lay on different beds tipsy and holding onto our boyfriends and girlfriends laughing our asses off about random things, not really caring when someone came by and said that Snape was here to lecture someone or something and he might do a dorm check. We didn't care. It wasn't the end of the world for us to hid the girls and the random Ravenclaw in here. The Polytheism common rooms were much bigger than the others. We each had queen beds and we all shared a very large bathroom with closets large enough to hide people in them. With a student quickly opening the door letting us know he was coming, I quickly ran into the bathroom with everyone, and the mead, cast an enchantment that blocked out any noise or visible thing from outside the circle. Even though we had that going for us we still hid as he could easily walk through it and right away tell that someone had cast the spell.

Hearing the boys still talking and then the bang of the door bursting open we seemed to all know to block our breathing when it didn't even matter. We heard Snape's loud voice through the door and then it was followed by a softer voice coming from a student. Even though we had the guts to stand up to Snape we weren't too fond of yelling like he was. After a good bit of them being quiet as he looked around just checking things, I prayed we hadn't left anything in there that belonged to us, like someone's shoes that clearly weren't meant for a guy to wear. And if we did I hoped that one of them would be smart enough to think of something on the spot, but the chances were slim. I cursed to myself that if I got detention again I would lose it. Once he left we all sighed and ever so slowly opened the door as one of the boys went out to make sure that Snape wasn't going to barge in again.

Feeling no need to leave the common room for the rest of the day, every now and then one of us would have to go get another thing of mead, and if possible, a bottle of fire whiskey. When it was my turn to go, I got a thing of mead and fire whiskey, but nearly got caught, causing my tipsy self to literally down the whole thing of the fresh liquor. I was going to magic away the bottle as there was no need for it, my hand was caught mid spell by someone who probably wasn't happy to see this sight. Knowing it was either a prefect, Percy, or a teacher I groaned out loud and wasn't surprised to get a groan back by Snape. I was so close to the common room that if I could get away from him quickly enough I could hide somewhere and lose him. He said something to me, probably was an insult, and as he turned around I slipped my wrist out from his hand and made a run for it. I got decently far before I ran right into a wall causing the mead to break and cut my hand, along with the now dizzy feeling in my head. I wasn't too sure if it was the fact that I was most likely drunk or because I slammed my face into a stone wall. Landing on my ass I knew I had no chance of getting away from Snape now and I was kind of freaking out about the amount of blood that was coming from my hand, or many I was being dramatic. Either way, the professor didn't care he just pulled me along with him to his classroom to where he yelled at me to sit on the desk as he ran away somewhere. Being drunk and left alone to my thoughts, things get weird, I don't think I need to explain it, but by the time Snape got back, I was a bubbly laughing mess. He looked at me almost fearful and mended my wound closed with a spell I had never heard of and then forced a potion down my throat.

"Ew. Not as good as fire whiskey." I frowned at the taste in my mouth as Snape rolled his eyes and said to me,

"You'll be staying here until you sober up, it won't take long, the potion will help with that, and the healing." I huffed and said,

"It better work quickly because I don't want to spend any time with you." I glared at him, but since I was drunk it looked more like I was messing with him and not like I actually meant it. Under his breath, I heard Snape say,

"Me too." He walked over to his desk and started to work on some papers. I was getting a bit bored after a couple of minutes so I got off the desk and sat on his as he worked. Clearly not happy with me and my behaviour he told me to get off. I didn't listen, obvious. Even in a drunk sat I wasn't having it for him. He put his arm out and pushed me off without even having to stand up. Feeling like an idiot on the floor drunk me decided I had, had enough of this and started to walk away, but before I could do that he locked that doors. I groaned out loud until the potion was starting to work and I wasn't so drunk anymore, I just sat there on one of the stools and waited until he let me go, not even bothering to look back at him. I couldn't remember what happened, but I knew that at least for my friends I would need another bottle. I personally wasn't going to drink out of it, I was just going to give it to them and say I had something else I should get to. I did in fact, I was going to do some fieldwork into finding out if Snape was a death eater and maybe even find out if Chris was one, or becoming one rather.

It was around 4 pm when I decided to go on a search. I knew Dumbledore might have some news and he was never the kind of person to hide information that might be of benefit to stopping people that used the Dark Arts. He also might not know anything about it and possibly look into it and maybe then I'll get my answer. Making my way to Dumbledore's office I stopped at the hospital wing and asked Pomfrey for something to help my hangover. She didn't really ask about why the hell I had alcohol and she was used to me showing up randomly and asking her for a potion. Once I got to his office my head had stopped pounding and I felt a lot more focused. I hadn't sent a letter asking if I could stop by so I waited outside his office and listened through the door just in case he was busy talking to someone. I leaned against the door I noticed no noise so I gently knocked on the large doors to which opened by themselves. I slowly glanced around the room and noticed him sitting at his desk looking up over glasses at me like he didn't know I was there until I got closer to his desk. He put down his quill and said,

"Ms. Sparks, what can I do for you?" I wasn't planning on being an asshole at this moment since this was important to me so I kept things quick and short.

"Sorry I didn't send an owl asking if it was alright if I showed up."

"Oh, don't worry dear, I was just writing some letters." He took off his glasses, folded his hands as I said to him,

"I was just wondering something. The first being Snape had me for detention the other night and Flitwick didn't believe me when I was walking back to my dorm so he took off points."

"No problem dear, I'll take care of it." He folded up a piece of parchment as I continued.

"Thank you, sir. Now the second is I was wondering if maybe you had heard of some strange activity that to do with Chris..." He scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion and asked,

"Strange activity as in..."

"Death eater stuff sir." I felt a tad uneasy when I said those words as I didn't want Chris to be evil as I was hoping that none of what Snape said was true.

"I also heard the rumours from Snape the night I had detention." I quickly added to which he sighed and leaned back in his large chair and said to me,

"I wouldn't take all of Severus' insults seriously my dear," I let out a sigh, but it was too soon as Dumbledore continued saying, "However I think it was a smart idea for him to warn you about Mr. Lolar." My eyes widened as I was not ready to hear bad news about the person who I rebuilt from his aggressive past. Dumbledore stood up and walked around the other side of the desk to face me and said,

"We are aware that Mr. Lolar's family are involved with the Dark Arts and there is a high possibility that he might be involved with it. Knowing that Voldemort is back is starting to connect things that we just overlooked before, one of the main concerns is the Lolar family. I wouldn't be surprised if he was involved with all of this." I felt like I had been lied to and that everyone was in on it. I knew Chris's parents, they are the nicest people I've ever met. They were really happy when Chris left his bad behaviour behind once I showed up in his life. It was like everyone was playing a joke on me and I was about to become one of those victims in saw or something. Then it dawned on me. If they were death eaters they knew that my bloodline was very involved with the Dark Arts, but my father had pulled them away from it when Voldemort died the first time. Realizing that Chris might just be with me to get my family to join again hurt so bad I can't put any words on it. It wasn't only just the heartbreak that Chris was using me for power, but it was also the betrayal factor that really hit hard. Taking a step back the Headmaster noticed my stunned face and pulled me back to reality.

"I think that Professor Snape was just trying to warn you about the possible threat." I knew that now I was going to have to act natural around Chris until he got caught. It was going to be so hard to keep a normal face and not think about it when he was around. I left the Headmaster's office after he gave me a few words of comfort and as I made my way back to the Slytherin common room I was hit over the head with something hard and then I noticed someone casting a spell. As soon as my vision stopped dancing around I saw Chris and his weird quiet friends hovering over me. I saw Chris pulled out his wand and smirk at me. I tried to move and grab my wand, but I had been shoot with a paralyzing spell. There was no way I was going to be able to get up and defend myself. I stared at Chris in the eye as he said to me,

"Maybe if you hadn't been sneaking around trying to find some way of bringing me down this wouldn't have happened." He sighed out loud and said in a whisper, "Mother is going to be so disappointed in you. She thought that you were different from your family." Trying to scream as loud as I could I got hit in the head again with a very blunt object and as I started to become unconscious I heard one of his companions say,

"Maybe if Snape wasn't such a headstrong loser this could've worked." In that moment I knew that I was going to show Snape that he was wrong to think I was weak again Chris. I was going to prove him wrong that I needed someone better than Chris, I now knew that I was the best person for me.

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halothenthehorns · 3 years ago

Text

TLTNL- PRIORI INCANTATEM

Harry recognized that he was supposed to read next, and he was actually as surprised with himself as everyone else as he indicated he wanted his turn. There was something about what was fixing to come, some part of this nightmare night in the graveyard that, though the worst night of his adolescent life, held a meaning to him. It involved his parents, of that he'd known from the moment he arrived, and Harry wanted to be the one to regain the moment with his own words. So despite the fact that he had to let go of his hold on his mother and father, Harry took the book, straightened his back, and let the memories of that night come in without a fight.

Harry scrambled to find his feet to support his weight before the ropes were untied.

Lily groaned as she remembered Harry was injured on top of everything, that spider bite and his sprained ankle all on the same leg, there was hardly a chance of him properly dueling, let alone making a run for it.

Wormtail used his new hand to easily tear away Harry's restraints, and just as roughly pulled the material out of his mouth.

"Why do you call him that?" James demanded of Harry in a tone he'd never heard before.

Harry flinched at the near demonic look in his dad's eye, but explained himself calmly enough. "Because that rat deserves that nickname, it's the only way I've ever known him as that traitorous word."

The Marauders disagreed, thinking that backstabber didn't deserve a single thing they'd ever given him, and that name was one of the most important ones to them. However, they could see Harry's side, he'd never known Peter the person, but the man who'd gotten his parents killed while using that name.

Lily still wondered why Voldemort did, but she thought Harry had said it unintentionally. Voldemort had made it clear that while he rewarded Pettigrew for the help he'd given, Voldemort wanted to constantly remind him of what he'd lost. Using that nickname every time was rubbing salt in the wound, a slap in the face every day to remind him of what he'd once done.

Harry knew how much this hurt them every single second to be reminded of who they were hearing do this to him, but he couldn't see how using a different name would actually make it better as he forced himself on.

The moment he landed, his first thought was to try and run, but that was made impossible as his damaged leg shook beneath him, and the Death Eaters closed ranks. Just beyond them, Wormtail was returning with Harry's wand, which he roughly gave back without looking at him.

Lily noticed for the first time that this seemed to be a common thing, the rat hadn't been looking at Harry all night it seemed. She hoped it was because he couldn't stand to see what he was doing to Harry, and to James through it, but most likely it was his own shame for his cause in this, always his own feelings first before he'd let himself think of others.

Harry had no choice but to turn back and face Voldemort as he asked if Harry had ever been taught to duel.

"I don't think watching Snape blast Lockhart across a room should count," Remus muttered. He'd been trying to come up with an escape plan for Harry since he'd arrived, and dueling his way out was very bottom of the list for the poor kid.

Harry distantly remembered once attending a dueling club, where the only spell he'd learned was Expelliarmus.

Harry felt an odd swooping feeling flow through his chest. He'd felt something for that spell the moment he'd first seen it used, and now even his own thoughts trying to mock him for how useless it was didn't quite cover the hope that was trying to bubble in him now, he was certain he'd found his solution.

What good would that do him, even if he did manage to disarm Voldemort he was outnumbered thirty to one.

"Thirty?" Sirius yelped in concern. "I'd only counted seven besides Voldemort."

Harry gave him a look of exasperation, the point still stood of how outnumbered he really was. It was that expression he was giving his godfather, 'really, you're pointing that out now?', that somehow managed to convince Sirius to smile back. He could see that Harry was still only just below panicking levels of the situation he remembered being in, but for just a moment he'd turned and talked to him like this was all normal, something they all needed.

He had never learned anything that could possibly fit him for this.

"I don't think anybody's actually trained for that situation," Remus agreed, "Dumbledore himself would feel a little trapped."

"You really are something not to just be on the ground begging for your life," James agreed without a hint of mocking.

He knew he was facing the thing against which Moody had always warned,

Harry said Moody's name a bit odd, certainly not in the normal way he had before this, but even he didn't seem to notice he'd done it, and it was such a small thing nobody paid much mind.

Avada Kedavra, and more unprotected than the first time where his mother had died to protect him from it.

Lily honestly wished that would quit being mentioned so much, for no matter how true it was she'd do the same every time, it hurt all the more she never could again.

Voldemort took it upon himself to tell Harry what to do, saying first they were to bow to each other.

"I hate formalities," Sirius sneered, "no one ever actually bothers with that kind of mess when your life's on the line."

Dumbledore would want him to show his manners.

"I don't give a damn what Dumbledore would want," James seethed, "he needs to stop talking to you like this."

Since Harry wished Voldemort would stop talking to him period, he agreed.

Harry was told to bow to his death.

Despite the monster trying to claw its way out of Harry's chest, screaming for him to run away from this, there was also a surreal moment tucked in there where Harry realized he wasn't dead, hadn't died this night. Instead he got something infinitely better for his night of misery.

Voldemort smiled at him then, like a cat playing with its dinner, but Harry refused to move. He was not going to let Voldemort taunt him into this before he died.

James didn't care if it went without saying, he never grew tired of telling his son he was proud of the way he was taking this, and the small smile he received in that moment never dimmed no matter how many times he saw it.

Voldemort wasn't having that, his wand appearing and an invisible force bending Harry's spine into the mockery of submission, while the Death Eaters around him laughed all the harder.

Remus was remise that he had no clue what spell that was, as he'd have loved to do the same thing to Voldemort as just the start of the retribution he'd get for doing this to Harry.

Sirius was just pleased Harry had stopped taking note of every little thing that rat had been doing. He wasn't sure what would have hurt more, to know he was laughing along, or to see him simply standing there, watching and doing nothing.

Voldemort released him and Harry immediately straightened back upright, and Voldemort gave a cruel grin again as he praised this, saying how Harry was going to die proud, straight-backed like his father.

James watched his two friends shake automatically as that was mentioned again, and he couldn't blame them, he knew he'd have felt the same way if that was constantly brought up about one of them. He wanted to say something, offer up some word as a promise to his brothers, but the words failed him as he replayed that last moment again in his head, what he'd died trying to protect. Somehow, he still couldn't hate the way his life ended, even if it was leaving those behind.

Done with his fun, Voldemort raised his wand and began the duel, by again hitting Harry with Curcio.

Harry's voice wasn't coming out in any way normal as flashes of remembered pain from that curse came pouring back over him, but he forced himself to press through that, because there was something more precious to him that happened this night, and it was another kind of pain, but almost a good kind.

Harry's scream of misery couldn't define the pain his body was in, falling to the floor again and writhing in place, when it stopped as suddenly as it had started.

James was now convinced his life was going to end any moment now the longer he had to listen to that curse being placed on his son, the thought of what had happened to Frank and Alice now weighing on him worse than ever. He could not just sit here and picture this being done without doing something!

Harry rolled back to his feet at once, but it was in no way intimidating, as he stood trembling as much as Wormtail had before his hand had been replaced.

James hadn't meant for that something to snap at Harry, "Don't you ever compare yourself to that thing!"

"What can I say, the memory sort of stuck with me," Harry muttered back without looking up.

Voldemort crooned to him if he wanted a break, asking if Harry wanted some breathing room before that was done to him again. Those pitiless red eyes watched his progress, death promising in the slits.

Harry was now more glad than ever he was the one getting this out, distorted words they were in his own voice from remembered pain, as a solemn reminder to those around him that at least that one thing hadn't been true that night.

Harry knew what he really wanted, to see him beg, which was not going to happen.

Considering Lily had mostly been in a state of the worst anger of her life with the situation Harry was in, she didn't think she'd told him enough how proud she was of her young man, and the answering gleam she saw in her own eyes imaged into his face was the best feeling in the world.

Voldemort grew impatient when he didn't get his wish, demanding Harry answer him, and using the Imperius Curse.

Remus wasn't sure if that was full blown hysteria trying to crack through as he felt his lips twist in a smile, for the irony of their griping about Moody putting this curse on Harry for the good it could do, and look how right that mad old Auror was.

Harry felt, for the third time in his life,

"Only the third time?" Sirius was sure that was his ears cracking, not his voice as he forced out anything like a mocking tone for this. "Moody placed that on you a ton more times to make sure you threw it off completely. You never even gave us that number."

Harry gave an unhelpful answer of muttering about how his mind hadn't exactly been going for specifics at a time like this, not wanting to put Sirius down when he'd been trying to help. It wasn't assisting his own mind that recently every time Moody's name had been mentioned he felt an even sharper poke to his conscious, which had been paining him more and more since he'd arrived here.

as everything melted away, leaving him the happiest he'd been in his life as all the worry and pain evaporated, all he had to do was answer no.

A firm voice snapped right back, that still wasn't happening. He wouldn't answer!

Even though James had already watched Harry pull this off once, this ranked right up there with his Seeker skills of impressive abilities. Moody in a classroom was one thing, not that he'd expect the man to go easy but still. This was Voldemort behind that curse, and Harry was still fighting back!

The battle didn't last long, before Harry threw the curse off altogether.

Silence rung in the graveyard, no one was laughing now.

"You show those pushovers what it's really like to stand up to that pompous idiot," Sirius nodded sharply.

Voldemort stood there for a long beat in surprise, his Death Eater's as frozen in shock.

"I'm sure they're all wondering why they never bothered to grow a spine and do that," Remus muttered.

Voldemort whispered to Harry that in not answering, he was disobeying. Obedience was a virtue that every man should learn before death, and Voldemort offered more pain should teach that lesson.

"Well now he's just being a hypocrite," James forced an eye roll, forced just one small second of a joke. "I'm sure Dumbledore's told him to stand down and he's never done it."

"Right, don't do what Voldemort does, I'll keep that in mind," Harry genuinely grinned at him.

Voldemort raised his wand again, but this time Harry was ready as his honed Quidditch skills flung him aside behind a gravestone, the crack of the spell missing sending shards everywhere.

"There's my boy," James whispered to himself, the image of Harry flying proud in the sky was one he'd envisioned since he'd first held his son, now instead of a broomstick those reflexes were being used to save his life.

Voldemort mockingly called to him this was not hide-and-seek as he continued approaching,

Harry felt himself flushing as he got that out, and it wasn't hard to realize that Harry felt ashamed of what he was now telling them he'd done. James wasn't going to stand for that, giving Harry a friendly nudge as he promised, "no one on earth could fault you for trying to catch your breath Fleetfoot."

Harry did look around at him in surprise for that, and James shrugged without remorse. "I found I'm partial to that for your Marauder nickname, covers all the bases really."

Harry's face stayed red, but for a completely different reason as he turned back to the book, more pleased than he'd ever been in his life for his dad actually insisting upon this as more than a joke, especially after another nickname he'd once endowed kept stabbing him in every way possible.

his soft voice calling for Harry to come back out, he'd end this game now. Voldemort could not promise it wouldn't hurt, he had never died.

"I'm pretty sure during the time where you didn't have a body, you were some classification of dead," Remus grumbled.

"Wish he'd stayed that way," Sirius quietly agreed.

Harry only remained crouched where he was for a few beats more as reason came back to him. He was no more going to sit here cowering than beg for his life. His muscles were already springing to his command, prepared to die upright like his father.

"I'd rather you not die at all," Lily murmured to herself, but aloud for her son's ears, "least you really did get the best parts of your father."

"There aren't any bad parts of me for him to get," James forced out just to simply pitch his voice into the conversation, he couldn't stand watching Sirius and Remus' face when they heard that any more than it felt right for his own ears to process.

Harry was back around before the next taunt could be given, shooting the spell for his foe, Expelliarmus,

"That's really the spell you went with?" Sirius shook his head affectionately, his long hair falling into his face to avoid his too wet eyes.

"Can't even fault him for it," Remus sighed, his voice coming out a bit too thick which no one blatantly noticed. "What better way to get out of this than to disarm the lot of them."

at the same time Voldemort cried Avada Kedavra.

"Not my son you bastard!" Lily howled in outrage, her wand the only thing steady in her as every part of her was telling her to block that curse from being near her baby.

Green met red in midair, but then the two colors merged into one, and Harry's wand began vibrating in his hand that he could not unclench.

"Err, that's not supposed to happen," Remus muttered uselessly. When two spells met in midair, they ricochet off each other, so one should have hopefully killed a Death Eater, preferably a pathetic rat among them, and the other should have disarmed one while Harry tried to break out of the ranks.

The color was now one thin narrow beam keeping the two wands connected, a deep gold.

One glance up showed Harry that no one around him had any more clear idea of what was going on than he had at the time, but whatever it was, this was the moment he'd been waiting for. Once Cedric had died, he'd shut down and hadn't been able to think of anything else until Voldemort had cut him free, where the very feeling he'd felt had now been trying to rise to the surface. Harry leaned just that little bit more into his parents, for some unearthly reason, almost excited to continue.

Voldemort's unpigmented face showed just as much shock, his own hand clearly trying to break this connection but having no more success, and then it got stranger.

The two were lifted off their feet by seemingly nothing, and carried away from the graves into a clear area before gently being set back down.

Sirius was mouthing wordlessly as he tried to wrap his head around this, tried to even vaguely pull a piece of information from his deflating brain on what could be happening, but there wasn't a speck.

The Death Eaters ran after them, shouting for instructions on what to do, most drawing wands.

Lily may not know what was happening, but she suddenly wasn't as sure she liked it. At first it had seemed some cosmic force was actively trying to save her son, taking him away from that unholy place, but now locked like he was, he had no way to defend himself from the other wands that could just as easily kill.

The deep ichor color keeping them connected was continuing to act all on its own, thin cords shooting from it and soon encasing them in a dome that the Death Eaters cries could not come through.

James wished he had a clue what was being done to his son, but so long as it actually seemed to be helping him he couldn't find the urge to complain about it. Was this odd, never before heard of magic the way his son survived this night? If so, he'd go out and learn it right now.

Instead all Harry could now hear was a noise he'd only heard once before, but something precious to him that filled him with warmth, phoenix song.

"Is, Fawkes going to show back up, or-" Remus struggled to get out a coherent thought, but that didn't make sense. Harry hadn't done anything grand like he had before to summon Fawkes to him, though now he thought about it that would have been a good idea to get the bird to try and summon him away. Not the point, and no one had an answer for him, Harry had only paused in shock before gathering himself back enough to keep going.

It was the sound of hope, and it gave Harry new resolve to do everything in him not to break this connection.

Lily was running her hand through his hair for as much comforting him through what he was reading as a warming to herself to remind her where her baby was. This still wasn't a particularly good thing happening, but finally it was a new moment, something shining down promising hope was coming.

The moment he promised the music he'd do no such thing, the harder it became to do.

Sirius longed for a time where he could have been hearing about this and laughing, Harry talking to music, and then of course what he'd just described felt like it described life. All he was really thinking on though was how much he desperately wished he was there with his pup, when he needed someone now more than ever.

His strip of wood was now vibrating so hard in his hand it was a wonder it hadn't disintegrated yet, and still something new was happening. Beads of light were appearing in the center of their merged stream, and they were slowly heading towards Harry's wand. The closer they got, the harder his whole arm shook.

Because this wasn't confusing and weird enough before. They'd all worn out of shock by now, so instead they were trying to comprehend what purpose this could hold, how and why this was happening to their Harry.

Some instinct, whether the song or some innate feeling, told Harry that what he needed was for the opposite, so concentrating harder than he ever had on anything in his life, his mind focused on those little beads, and slowly but surely, they began reversing course, and were now going for Voldemort's wand.

Now Harry could feel his own voice rising with strength, some powerful moment about to return to him, almost a peace settling over him as something of the warmth he was surrounded in now was leaping eagerly to return to his mind.

Voldemort looked almost as astonished as he did fearful.

"Congratulations Harry, not many people can say they made Voldemort piss himself moments after his rebirth," Sirius murmured.

It happened after such a tiring mental struggle Harry nearly sunk to the ground again in a new kind of pain, but finally the beads connected with that strip of wood, and Voldemort's wand began trembling harder than ever as screams of pain echoed from its contents, and a smoky fist arose from within, the ghostly image of the hand he'd created for Wormtail.

Remus choked as he realized what was being described, yet Prior Incantato certainly didn't have this magical property normally, so even just guessing that this could be a form of what was happening didn't help him at all.

The wand wasn't done yet, as the next thing to arise was even bigger, more solid and dense as first a gray, misty head, then a torso emerged, before finally Cedric Diggory stood before them.

Lily felt a whole new swell of emotion blooming in her as she heard of that poor young man who'd been simply tossed aside, and now making an appearance like this. His whole future ahead of him, gone, but now what was this? Good or bad?

Cedric took in the scene around him, and Harry couldn't quite tell what he was, not entirely a ghost as he looked too solid, but it spoke to him in his same voice, telling Harry to hold on.

Harry couldn't imagine how anyone else was processing this, he certainly was having a hard time getting past his own wonder. For just that one moment, Cedric was back, he was alive and hadn't suffered for Harry's existence. His throat almost swelled shut right then, as for a moment he thought this was his reward for suffering this night, Cedric being spared just a few more moments of life, but no. There was something soft resonating in him, gently encouraging him on.

Voldemort had no more knowledge of what was going on than him, fear tracing his scarlet eyes as he looked upon the being.

Remus would have been far more concerned if Voldemort had understood what was going on, as that couldn't mean it was anything good. Instead, he couldn't explain even to himself, but he was almost eagerly listening to Harry, his every being exuding that they should all be feeling this way.

Still the magic was continuing, as another was already forcing itself out as well, an older man who emerged just like Cedric and stood beside him, leaning on a walking stick as he took them both in. His first thought as he caught sight of Voldemort was to say his surprise of how he had been a real wizard.

James was surprised when he felt an honest smile flit across his face, that old man really had been something in his last moments, and like Cedric, it felt like a miracle he was being granted any extra time, no matter how mind blowing this feat of magic was.

He turned eyes on Harry next and gave the same advice, to keep fighting and don't stop. Though Harry had no intentions of doing so as yet another figure was coming out, and soon Bertha Jorkins stood among them.

Sirius was surprised at the burn that ran through him. He knew so many people from his school years set to die, and even just a random girl he'd never even liked being presented in this way still managed to set him off.

Her conviction was the same as the men, insisting to Harry that whatever he did, not to let go!

James shook his head for a moment as he considered, really stopped and thought, about what was going on. Harry was getting encouragement from a ghost against Voldemort!

The three figures began prowling their circumference of the golden enclosure, in opposition to the Death Eaters doing the same on the outside. They would whisper more encouragement to Harry as they passed, and hiss something unheard to Voldemort when near him.

"I can guarantee they weren't nice," Lily sneered.

Harry took a moment to stop, and just stare at her with a new smile they'd never seen before, and it was that look that suddenly had Sirius realizing just what exactly order these magical ghosts were appearing in, and why Harry could conceivably be happy for any of this...

Now more than ever Harry had no desire to make this stop, as he watched another coming through the wand, the woman he'd thought about more tonight than any other. Lily Potter materialized before him.

Lily and James were crying, and not even bothering to hide it. They didn't see the point as they now understood what Harry was seeing for the first time in his life, their echo, their shadows, but it was still more of them than even that mirror or any picture could hold.

She whispered to him his father was coming,

Harry felt something warm curling tight in his heart and promising to never leave as he heard his mother's first words. He had never considered his dementor memory as counting, as his parents last dying words were more heart aching to think of than something like this.

just hold on a little longer.

Her words rang true, as the final man to emerge, James Potter blossomed between them.

"I knew it," Harry whispered, unable to express into words how much it meant to him he was really seeing them now, as before he'd come here this was as close as he'd ever get to them.

There was hardly an inches height difference, their features so similar it ached as James looked him in the eye, and explained that once the connection broke, they would only linger for a moment. Harry had to use that time to get back to the Portkey, it would get him back to Hogwarts.

It really did feel like this was zapping the life out of Remus to hear about, because thinking about James as anything other than the Prongs huddled into his family right now, alive and breathing through a heavy chest but still as solid and alive as he'd always been. Still Remus' first response was to poke at his friend's comment, just like he always did to keep him on track, and ask what on earth that Cup was going to do, why would it be set as a two way Portkey? He couldn't get the words to actually move past his lips, it was too heart wrenching to even consider James in this way to move past it and say anything else.

Harry promised he understood, his own wand beginning to slip out of his fingers regardless to show he couldn't have held much longer.

Harry almost hated his wand in that moment, for forcing him to think of anything else other than drinking in as much of them as he could. It was enough to drown out another powerful feeling trying to remind him that though this was the most precious memory he had, it may not be the only one like it.

Cedric got in his final words as well, asking Harry to take his body back with him.

Harry wished that he could instead be living in a time where he could brush that off as a joke, like he'd ever leave any part of Cedric behind for the Death Eater's to do anything with, instead this came out as solemnly as his parents first words to him.

Harry swore he'd do this, and his father's voice urged him to break the connection, now!

Harry obeyed, with the hardest pull he'd ever had to do in his life the wands broke free, and Harry spun on the spot and ran like he never had before. The shadowy figures remained for a few moments longer, swarming Voldemort and blocking Harry from view.

Sirius made a wretched noise, rubbing at his streaming nose as he tried to get out, "see, not even your own graves could stop you helping him out." He'd meant it for James, and there was most certainly some form of happiness resonating in him for that being true.

Lily hummed in agreement, her hands never stopping the motion of curling through his hair. Her throat to restricted to get out anything more articulate until he was really away from that place.

Harry broke through the stunned rank of Death Eaters, took no notice of any of his injuries as his feet flew over gravestones and zigzagged a pattern around any oncoming spells.

From behind, Voldemort demanded he be stunned.

Harry could practically feel the mad adrenaline pumping through his veins again, his mind sprinting as fast as he'd forced his ungainly feet to move, and the others were so tight and desperate for Harry to be free now none of them would have questioned why Voldemort hadn't bothered to send that curse rather than telling someone else. Could it be because he longer trusted his own wand to do the deed? There was something significant in that train of thought, but Harry wanted to be done with his chapter already, so that he could set this book aside and really hug his parents again in gratitude for what they'd done for him even one more time.

He made it to Cedric's body, but the Cup still lay ten feet away. Harry couldn't carry Cedric, but his pursuers approach would be upon him in moments. Harry twisted on the spot and met the red eyes of Voldemort one last time as he cried Accio, summoning the Triwizard Cup to him.

James felt a wild gasp of relief finally escape him, watching Harry finish off the last few lines with gratitude so he could just stop, and think for a minute!

The silver cup was caught in his hand, and Voldemort's scream of fury was drowned out with the howl of wind carrying him away.

Harry snapped the book shut hard, and then proceeded to hug both of his parents to him as tightly as he'd ever been able to in his life.

James still hadn't even begun to fully process everything he'd just heard about the night of Voldemort's return, he was still too busy clinging to his only child and his wife to think past much of anything except for the fact that he never wanted to let go of either of them. That night could have so easily gone wrong, Harry could have never been here now, but instead would have remained like Cedric, dead and lost to the rest of the world forever. Whatever that magic was that had saved him, somehow his miracle had been granted, and he had finally been able to do just one thing for Harry, even beyond the grave. Later he could question how his ghost or whatever had even known the way to get back, later he would think about how that had all come to pass, later...

#The LIfe that Never LIved #Harry Potter #HP #GoF #Marauders #Jilly #reading the books #fanfiction #James Potter #remus Lupin #Sirius Black #Lily Potter

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official-weasley · 4 years ago

Text

The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley: Pt. 4, Ch. 6

PART 4: THE YEAR WHEN EVERYONE HAS A CRUSH Chapter 6 - Weasley vs Blackwood

Charlie

Nothing made me happier these days than eating breakfast in the Great Hall, seeing Nova come in and smiling. I swear my heart skipped a beat the other day when Tonks was telling us how she had to stay behind in Potions because she slipped and pushed a cauldron full of Sleeping Draught off the table and the imitations of Snape's face she was doing made Nova laugh out loud for the first time in 4 months.

I was finally able to sleep and not constantly think about if she is alright, if she is crying alone or if she's waking up Tulip for a shoulder to cry on.

The day Professor Flitwick came to our Care of Magical Creatures class to get Nova was one of the worse in my life. Nobody expected anything to happen to Mr. Blackwood, especially her. When she came out of his room and collapsed to her knees I felt something break in me. She is my best friend and nothing pained me more than seeing her so hurt.

What was even worse was the fact that my family also wasn't handling it well. I haven't seen Mr. Blackwood often as he was in Egypt most of the time and I mourned for Nova, but my parents were shattered, losing one of their best friends. It made it worst for me when I tried relating to them and just thinking of losing Nova sucked all the will to live out of me. Bill shut himself into his dormitory for several days and couldn't look me in the eyes for a week. I knew he was also worried about her, but I also knew that he was mourning as he spent 2 months with him in Egypt. He was practically his role model.

When Nova decided to come back to school, I knew I must do everything to make her feel better no matter how hard I would have to try. She seemed so out of place for weeks. People were staring at her in the corridors, whispering in class and teachers pitying her.

Tulip was doing the best job of all, being her roommate. I would do anything to be there with her but I knew Tulip was taking good care of her, especially when she managed to get her to eat something.

The first time she came down to the Great Hall I thought that I was going to cry. She was so pale, dark circles under her eyes and she seemed skinnier. Her hair that usually shone and was all and all perfect was now everywhere. I was just hoping that the rest of our friends wouldn't make it awkward.

I talked to my parents about what I should do, how I could help her and they told me to give her time and just be there and that's exactly what I did. After Penny couldn't shake her 'I feel so sorry for her' face and people couldn't stop staring, I decided to take her into the Forbidden Forest and see if she would like to read something.

Apparently, I was doing something right as I started reading her favorite book. I could see the life filling her again after weeks and weeks of silence. I then tried to make casual conversation by talking about my day and classes and I didn't feel uncomfortable at all by the fact that she never said anything back.

The day she told me that she wanted to talk was one of the best in months even though we sat in the Forest, me holding her while she was crying and explaining her emotions for hours. I knew she was getting better and that it didn't pain her so much. She was healing.

And now, in February, I am confident to say that she is back to her normal self to the best of her abilities. She even made a joke the other day when Penny was telling us how she proved Snape wrong about a potion ingredient and Nova said that perhaps she could ask Dumbledore for Snape's job. Tonks, of course, seeing Nova smile started impersonating Snape's reaction just to keep her in a good mood.

—

It was a couple of days before Gryffindor would play against Ravenclaw. Nova told me that she was worried as she only started going to practice in January. I couldn't help being conflicted as I wanted as many positive things happening to her as possible.

I was conversing with Barnaby at the Slytherin Table. I was telling him how Nova and I sneaked into the Forbidden Forest in our Second Year and he volunteered to start searching for ways to get inside so he could tag along with us next time.

I saw Nova entering the Great Hall and felt my cheeks burning. After Barnaby gave me a rather confused look, I quickly said goodbye and sat down next to Tulip at the Ravenclaw Table.

“Who was that you were talking with, Charlie?” She asked.

“Oh, that's Barnaby. He's in our Care of Magical Creatures class.” Answered Tonks for me.

“Thank you, Charlie.” Tulip mocked her and Nova giggled.

“He's alright. Loves animals as well even though he can be kind of strange sometimes.” I scratched the top of my head, thinking about moments when the things he said didn't really make sense.

“Loves animals you say?” Grinned Penny and turned to Nova. “I guess you have some competition.”

“Wha-?” Nova put down the box of cereal and seemed disturbed from her thoughts by Penny's sneer.

“Barnaby likes animals, he might steal Charlie away from you.” Penny explained.

“Nobody can steal me away from Nova.” It took me a second, looking into my porridge, to realize what just came out of my mouth as I looked up and saw Tulip wink at me, Penny with a hand over her mouth to prevent herself from saying anything.

“Exactly.” Nova's cheeks were slightly red and for some reason that made me happy.

“Why so in your thoughts, Nova? You alright?” Tonks asked her.

“Yeah, I'm just nervous about our match against Gryffindor.” She looked at me.

“Right, I forgot the game is in a few days!” Exclaimed Penny. “You'll do fine! You'll show those Gryffindors who's the best Quidditch Team!” She shook her shoulders.

“Sitting right here.” I said, acting offended. The girls laughed.

“Charlie, you won last year, it's someone else's turn. Don't be so selfish.” Tulip grinned mischievously.

“Yes, Charlie don't be so selfish.” Nova giggled. “I might just knock you off your broom.” My heart started beating faster as it did every time Nova looked me directly in my eyes.

“Oh, we'll see about that. I'm not going easy on you!” I smirked.

“I wouldn't count on it.” She said, her chin up.

The morning of the match, I woke up rather nervous. It was the first match of the season and it would do us good if we got a head start. But I couldn't help thinking about Nova and how happy it would make her if they won the match. If she would get a chance to catch the Snitch I know she would be thrilled. However, I had to think about my Team, right? Nova and I made a promise that we wouldn't bring our friendship to the pitch but I'm not sure I will be able to keep that promise this time.

Of course, if I let her win, Nova would be furious at me like she has been just a week ago in Care of Magical Creatures when Professor Kettleburn scolded us for putting food bags for a Niffler where the bags for a Porlock were supposed to be. I took the blame even though Nova made the mistake and she made me promise that I won't pity her or give her any privileges just because her dad was gone.

I got dressed and went down for breakfast. I sat down next to Penny and Tonks who were talking to the Quidditch commentator Murphy McNully.

“Morning.” I said, my voice still sleepy.

“Good morning, Sunshine!” Penny was beaming. I knew that she couldn't wait for the match as it gave her a chance to stare at Andre without him realizing, being preoccupied with defending the hoops.

“McNully was just telling us the odds of each Team winning.” Said Tonks, pouring more juice into her glass.

“Oh, yeah? So what's the outcome?” I wasn't particularly interested in hearing him speak as I had plenty of that during Friendlies. Boy, did he talk a lot.

“I think it's about 53,6% chance that Ravenclaw will lose as their Seeker, Nova Blackwood,” he said her name as if we didn't know who she was, “missed quite a lot of practice matches. However, if they succeed with the strategy the team has been planning for weeks, their chances increase by at least 21,9% and...” How was he coming up with these numbers?

Just as I willingly zoned out, I looked at the entrance and saw Nova coming into the Hall with Tulip. I leaned on my hand and stared at her. Her hair was in a ponytail, prepared for the Quidditch match and she was giggling at something Tulip said. It made my lips curve into a smile.

“And if they happened to score 5 goals before the Snitch is caught that would increase their chances, winning against Hufflepuff by 35,1%...” I heard McNully say before I zoned out again when Nova sat next to me, her hand brushing against mine.

“Putting Slytherin in the last place if Hufflepuff would be able to get enough goals or to catch the Snitch at the precise time and...” Does this guy ever stop talking?

Just as I was beginning to zone out again, Nova giggled and I sat up straight. She was looking at McNully, smiling. Why did she giggle? He has been talking for what seemed like a century and I haven't laughed once. At this point, if I didn't know he was so in love with Quidditch I would say that I was 99,8% sure that he wasn't talking about the game at all.

I chuckled at my little joke, oblivious to the fact that everybody heard me. McNully actually stopped talking and they all turned to me. At that moment I hoped that I had enough freckles on my face so that they couldn't see just how red my cheeks got.

“I just remembered something funny.” I said quickly. They were all looking at me, confused, except Nova giggled and that made me feel better.

“Blackwood, come on, let's go!” I turned around and saw Skye and Orion walking towards our table. Nova stood up, lowered her head to my ear, and said “See you on the pitch, Weasley.” She winked at me and walked away. I was now conflicted more than ever, about what to do.

Our Team Captain was going over the strategy we planned to do for the match one more time. It wasn't concerning me much as it did the Chasers but when he turned to me and said “Weasley, we are counting on you for that Snitch.” My heart sank as he pointed at my face.

We heard Madam Hooch's whistle and we flew onto the pitch. As the balls flew up in the air, I tried to forget that my best friend was on the opposite Team and started looking around for the Snitch. I rolled my eyes as McNully started with his percentages again as if they made any sense and decided to fly up high to get a better view of the situation.

Our Captain, Tom, said that if we would be in the lead and have luck scoring, I should wait to catch the Snitch and stall as much as possible so that we get ahead with points for our next two matches.

It was 70 to 30 for Gryffindor and I knew it was time to start looking for the little golden ball. I spotted it at once just under the stands where Ravenclaws were cheering. I flew in that direction, not trying to make it too obvious. However, when I got closer, Nova was already after it. It flew down towards the ground and I leaned forward to catch up to her.

She looked at me for a second and nearly crashed her broom at the ground while I stopped just at the right time. I chuckled and flew after the Snitch that was now flying towards the Gryffindor hoops. This was fun! It was like Nova and I were battling for the little ball, both amused, and for a second everything else disappeared and it was just us, flying around the pitch.

“Blackwood and Weasley are still battling for the Snitch which now has a 65,8% being caught if they make the effort.” Oh, shut up. I had to admit that we weren't trying hard to catch the ball as we were both having too much fun flying around after it.

After about 15 minutes, the score was 110 to 60 for us and I felt bad exchanging looks with my Team Captain as he was glaring at me, furious. I knew it was time to finish the game. I spotted the Snitch near the roof of one of the higher stands and I flew towards it as fast as I could. Nova was coming from the other side and I knew that whoever got to it first would end the game.

I also knew that we could crash by the angle we were both approaching it. Nova's eyes were narrowed, focused on the Snitch and just as I was about to crash into her, I braked and she caught the Snitch. I knew that I would be able to avoid her and get the ball right under her nose but I was hoping that to the rest of the eyes watching us it looked like I didn't have a choice.

The Ravenclaws roared in excitement and McNully forgot that he was supposed to be neutral when he started shouting into the microphone. “We've won! Ravenclaw won 210 to 130! I dare to say there was a 71,2% chance of that turnout...” I heard him say and then I tuned him out.

It wasn't that bad, it was our first match of the season. We still had Slytherins and Hufflepuffs to beat and I was confident we wouldn't have any problems with that. After all, we were only 80 points behind and Ravenclaw could easily get fewer points than us in their other two matches.

We flew off the pitch and I jumped off my broom.

“Weasley! Tent! NOW!” Shouted a voice behind me. I gulped as I turned around and saw Tom violet with rage. I wasn't so confident now that nobody could tell that I let Nova catch the Snitch.

I hurried to the tent and he ordered the rest of the Team to sit down. He then looked at me and came so close that our noses were almost touching. I leaned back a bit.

“WHAT was that, Weasley?” He barked at me. “Do you think this is some sort of a game?” I just shook my head. I knew saying anything would just make him angrier.

“You were flying with that Ravenclaw Seeker as if you were on a date! What took you so long to catch the Snitch? You had plenty of opportunities to snatch it from her!” I blinked as a drop of his saliva hit my eye.

“I was waiting for more points. We did say that we...”

“Waiting for more...” He interrupted me. “You let her catch that ball and you know it!” A vein was beginning to show on his forehead.

“I did not!” I defended myself, even though my voice wasn't very convincing.

“Oh, really?” He was rather calm now, turned to my teammates.

“Then why did you break right in front of the Snitch? You are smart enough to know that you could have flown away with it before crashing into her and you know it!” He wasn't calm anymore.

“It's only the first match, we are going to catch up with them.” Said Ellen, one of our Beaters.

“Oh, shut it!” He turned to her, his furry raising.

“I asked you a few weeks ago if her being Seeker and the fact that her father passed away would be a problem and you said no!” His nose now close to mine again.

“I told you...” I tried to stay as calm as I possibly could as I got angry when he mentioned Nova's dad. “That I didn't do it on purpose.”

It seemed we have started a staring contest as neither of us blinked and my face was turning red as well.

“One more mistake, Weasley...” He finally spoke. “And you're off the team!” He hissed and stormed out of the tent.

“It's okay, Charlie.” Said Marry, the girl who got me on the Team last year.

“We're not mad at you, mate.” John, our Keeper smiled at me.

“The Cap just thought we were going to win all the games this year, but what's the fun in that.” Marry added and they left the tent.

I sat down and was surprised just how unphased I was by the whole thing. I knew I did the right thing and was now hoping that Nova didn't figure it out more than how mad it made Tom.

When I lifted the curtain to get out of the tent, I saw Nova running towards me.

“Charlie, I did it! We won!” Her face beaming. She pulled me into a hug.

“Congratulations, Ravenclaw! You deserve it.” I smiled and returned the hug.

“Did you see me push forward as we almost ran into each other? I was good, don't you think?”

“You were brilliant.” The excitement and happiness on her face made the whole thing worth it and if I regretted it before, I definitely didn't now. The only thing that I remembered from Tom shouting at me at that moment was that he said Nova and I were on a date.

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