#even though she’s probably the smartest kid ever breaks my heart :((((

[oooohno]

When your comfort show turns sad

[determinedwriter]

Whumptober 2023: Day 26: Working To Exhaustion/“You look awful.”

Ro

High school freaking sucks. I kind of knew it would, but I’ll admit I’m smart enough to push through. Or at least I thought I was.

Going to a STEM school makes everyone look smart. And they know it. Nobody knows I’m Tony Stark’s kid, so I’m just like everyone else. An average teenager.

I thought that’s what I wanted, but I think it’s almost making things worse. As far as anyone knows, I’m just some orphan. I suppose the same goes for Peter though. And he really is one.

I shouldn’t complain. But sometimes I wish I could unleash my powers on my school bullies and burn all of my terrible test scores.

I’ve been studying like crazy lately. Ever since I came home with a subpar grade on my latest project at school.

Dad acted like he didn’t care, but I saw the frown. I saw the look in his eyes. And when he’s disappointed in me, it feels like a stab to the heart.

Even if he doesn’t mean for it to hurt, it does. I think it hurts more when he lies and tells me it’s okay. I know he wants me to succeed. He wants me to be smarter than this.

Who wouldn’t want that? Especially considering he’s one of the smartest people on the planet. But my endless studying has begun to take a toll on me.

Friday chimes to life from the ceiling to speak to me. “Miss Aurora, your father is asking you to come to dinner.”

I look down at my textbook and notes. “Tell him I’m not hungry but…thanks.”

“Of course, Miss.” She replies.

I study until there’s a knock on my door. “Ro?”

“Hmm?” I ask.

Dad opens it. “Missed you at dinner. What’re you up to?”

“Studying.” I reply honestly. “Sorry I didn’t come to eat. I just wasn’t hungry really.”

He nods. “It’s alright. Make sure you get some sleep though. It’s a school night.”

“Yup.” I say. “Goodnight.”

Dad nods again. “‘Night, kiddo.”

I sigh in relief when he leaves. I’m exhausted and I don’t want him to see how much this school crap is killing me.

He deserves a kid that’s not going to flip out about the little stuff like I am.

But that’s not gonna happen, so I’m going to do my best to be who he deserves.

Working harder and harder as the days pass, practically killing myself in the process. I’m working myself to exhaustion.

The day of the big test I’ve been studying for, I can hardly make my way to my classroom. Peter notices this in an instant.

He supports my weight as I stumble in the doorway of the class, Flash making one of his very unnecessary comments. “Careful everyone, Ro’s a zombie. Don’t get bitten. Too bad she’s gonna fail this test with her lack of brains.”

“Shut up, Flash.” Peter says, helping me sit. “Ro, are you gonna be alright?”

Flash smirks. “What? I’m just saying. Zombies don’t have brains, right? Or at least they don’t use them.”

I roll my eyes. “I don’t have energy for your crap.”

“Hence the zombie thing you have going on?” He asks. “I mean, you look awful.”

Peter glares at him. “Seriously dude, just drop it.”

I sigh. “It’s whatever.”

He rubs my back. “Do you need anything?”

I shrug. “No…”

He takes a water bottle out of his backpack. “Drink up. Just a little.”

“I don’t feel good.” I mumble back. “Thanks, though.”

Peter puts the bottle away, watching me nervously as our tests are handed out. Here we go. Time to either crush this or disappoint my dad once more.

“Your time starts now.” I hear the teacher tell us.

My hand shakes as I write with my pencil, the lead breaking as I press down a little too hard. God, I’m going to give myself a heart attack.

Peter notices this, silently handing me another pencil.

“Thanks.” I whisper.

He nods and gives me a thumbs up, going back to his own test after that. He’s smart as hell, but he’s probably stressed about it too.

Maybe I should’ve studied with him. I’ve been keeping to myself and doing that alone lately. It’s too late to worry about that now. Just get this done.

About halfway through the test, I can hardly ignore my dizziness and anxiety. People have begun to turn theirs in and I’m way too far behind.

God, what’s the use in studying if it just ends with me failing all over again? I’m really starting to panic now. It’s a good thing nobody knows I’m a Stark.

I shouldn’t have any association with the great Tony Stark. It’s a wonder we’re even related in the first place.

I hadn’t realized it, but my panic has become obvious now. Peter is touching my shoulder and my teacher is calling my name.

My eyes land on Flash, who laughs. I don’t know why this sends me off the deep end the way it does, but here we are. I’ve begun to hyperventilate.

“Aurora? Aurora, what’s the matter?” My teacher asks.

“I think she’s having a panic attack.” Peter explains. “Ro, just take it one step at a time. Breathe with me. Can you-“

I wobble in my chair, fainting before I hit the floor. I’ve literally worked myself to the point of unconsciousness. I didn’t think it was this bad.

My eyes open to see Peter’s face above me, carrying me quickly down the hallway. “P-Pete?”

“Ro, thank God!” He exclaims. “You scared me half to death.”

Still woozy, I don’t immediately understand why I’m his arms. “I’m…tired…”

“Try to keep your eyes open. Please.” Peter begs. “I don’t know what’s wrong. I’m taking you to the nurse.”

I weakly nod, but pass out again shortly after that and wake up on a cot in the nurse’s office. This time, Peter is sitting beside me.

“H-How long was I out?” I ask.

“Only a little bit. I ran here with you.” He explains. “I think everyone was more surprised I could carry you than the fact you fainted.”

“Fainted…” I echo. “Why did I…”

“You’re exhausted and dehydrated.” The nurse speaks up. I hadn’t noticed she was in the room at all.

“Oh…” I reply. “I-I don’t feel well.”

“No wonder you don’t feel well, honey. Please, just rest for now. I’ve called your emergency contact.” She tells me.

“Who is that again?” I ask, knowing it’s not Dad. I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t put his name on it for my own protection and privacy.

“Harold Hogan and Pepper Potts are the two we have listed. Mr. Hogan is on his way.” The nurse replies.

I hate to whine, but I’d really like my dad right about now. “Thank you.”

“Of course, sweetheart.” She says.

Peter holds out the same water bottle from before. “I’m making you drink some this time.”

I chuckle weakly. “Okay.”

Taking a few sips, I lay back down until Happy arrives, looking concerned. “Hey, kid. How do you feel?”

“Like garbage.” I tell him. “I really want to go home but I need to finish that test. I’ve already disappointed my dad enough. He needs me to-“

“I need you to take it easy.” Dad finishes for me, revealing himself in the doorway and entering. “I won’t have it any other way, you got it?”

“Dad?” I gasp. “W-Why are you here? You never come here.”

“Happy told me what the nurse said. You fainted. I’m not about to leave you alone. Even if you do have him and the spider kid here.” He replies. “You look exhausted. What happened, Ro?”

I gulp, replaying the past week or so in my head. I’ve hardly eaten, drank, or slept. “I just…wanted you to be proud of me.”

Dad’s face softens in concern. “Oh, baby…it’s okay. I’m so proud of you. Nothing will ever change that. I know you’ve been studying a lot lately but I didn’t realize you were practically killing yourself over it. This could have gone much, much worse.”

Hearing the scolding, I avoid his gaze by closing my eyes. “I’m sorry, Dad. I didn’t want to fail. I wanted to…I just wanted to be like you. I want to be smart and not even have to try and…and I can’t even do that without fainting in the middle of class.”

He sighs. “Well first of all, I don’t want you to do this ever again. I won’t have it. And second of all, you’re almost too much like me. You’re smart and you're stubborn. That’s what got you here. You put too much pressure on yourself. When was the last time you saw me get to bed at a reasonable hour?”

I shrug. “That’s different.”

“It isn’t.” Dad insists. “Having trouble with school doesn’t make you any less of a damn prodigy, kiddo. I don’t call you mini for nothing. Mini Stark. Thank God you’re not my clone though. You have empathy.”

“So do you.” I say.

“Not like yours. And yours is just natural. Effortless. I wish you had more confidence in yourself, but I’m glad you don’t have my arrogance. Even I can admit I have a big head.” He continues. “Though…I am a genius.”

Noticing I don’t laugh at this, he frowns. “I’m sorry, sweet kid. My point is…the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You’re smart. And your struggles don’t mean you’re not. I need you to trust me on this.”

I slowly nod, hugging him. “I didn’t mean to not take care of myself. I just got so wrapped up in trying to make you proud…I wasn’t thinking. And I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t realize. You can come to me with these things alright?” He replies.

“Alright.” I say.

He wraps an arm around me and helps me stand. “I’ll have Happy take us home and you can rest, okay?”

“What about my test?” I ask.

Dad scoffs. “You’ll ace it. I’ll make sure you get time to do a make up test. Don’t worry.”

I lean on his shoulder. “Thanks, Dad.”

“You’ve got it, micro.” He replies.

Peter speaks up for the first time in a good few minutes. “You’re a cool dad, Mr. Stark.”

“You know it, kid.” Dad teases. “Thanks for getting her here, by the way.”

He nods. “Of course, sir.”

Dad brings me to the car where Happy drives us home, making sure I get some desperately needed sleep and lots of water too.

Slowly but surely, I’m able to feel less anxious about test days. And Dad’s help is invaluable. He says I had it in me all along, but I credit him in helping me with my grades either way.

There’s nothing quite like a father-daughter duo.

Especially when they’re a couple of Starks.

We’re thick as thieves. And that won’t change as long as he’s by my side.

[a-member-of-minuteswithmandm]

Happy Succession day to all those who observe!! 🎉🎉

In case you need a refresher on the first 3 seasons - we go over the entire show in the first 5 minutes of the video, so feel free to check it out ☺️

You guys this is the last ever premiere we'll ever have 😭😭 can you believe the show is ending? They could have given us at least 2 more seasons. Sigh

Okay raise your hand if you're excited to see Logan Roy show how much contempt he has for his children by fucking them all over? My favorite thing about the upcoming season is having the kids all work together for once! Kendall has been begging for this forever and finally he, Shiv and Roman will be working against their dad hallelujah. Not really sure what presidential candidate Connor Roy will be doing, but maybe we can have another Roy wedding so the drama can be EVERYWHERE. Willa is probably regretting saying yes to Connor but it's too late to walk it back now baby!

Speaking of babies we also have the weasel of all weasels Tom who fucking betrayed Shiv. I hope she demolishes him (after Logan tosses him to the wayside). Also I don't trust Greg to stay loyal to Tom even though they're joined at the hip, hopefully he defects to his blood family and Tom is left to fail alone (lol can you tell I'm not a fan of Tom?). Honestly other than cheating on him BEFORE their wedding, Shiv didn't do anything to him and she's to good for him. I said what I said.

I really want a win for Kendall, his been losing for 3 seasons straight and its heart breaking. Shiv is the smartest (to me) but I hope she stays loyal to Ken and not put herself first this time.

I don't have too much to say about Roman - he's sunny and I really hope he fucks a guy this season lmao.

Also rooting for Gerri, Frank & Karl to somehow win while Logan loses because they deserve to be rewarded after 30 years of doing the devil's bidding lmao.

Basically Logan is the worst and all I want is his downfall. The way he treats his kids (and grandkids - Iverson deserves better) is unconsciounable and I love watching how complex and fucked up the whole family is because of him. Gosh this is such a good King Lear show and I'm ecstatic to see the writers hit it out of the park!

Honestly the main point is that I'm super super super excited for season 4 to begin! And if your looking for a refresher of the first 3 seasons and/or discussions about the characters, you can watch out video here:

Let us know what you think and if you agree or disagree!! (And if you watch our video please like it! And comment about what you like or dislike, lol we are so desperate to grow out channel haha)

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 313: Deku VS Lady Nagant

Previously on BnHA: Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai Lady Nagant showed up to fire a cupid’s arrow into my heart, and a bunch of literal bullets into my son. Deku was all “oh shit it’s Hawks’s super-hot badass murder senpai, what do I do, let me think back to Hawks’s advice for a sec.” Flashback!Hawks was all “anyway Deku so if my super-hot badass murder senpai ever shows up you’re basically screwed so you’d better abscond the fuck out of there.” Present!Deku was all “lol idek why I flashed back to that conversation since I’m just going to do the exact opposite of what Hawks said” and charged directly toward Nagant because WHY NOT. Overhaul was all “waah I need to get back to my boss who I put in a coma out of love” and Nagant was all “jesus christ why did I even bring you here” and had a flashback to AFO who was all “ILU NAGANT IMMA GIVE YOU AN EXTRA QUIRK SO PLEASE CAPTURE DEKU FOR ME PLEASE AND THANKS” and yeah. Shit is all over the place right now and I love it.

Today on BnHA: All Might gets attacked by a pair of discount assassins and is all “Call an ambulance! ...BUT NOT FOR ME” and it’s really badass but also I really wish he would stop tempting fate like this. Lady Nagant is all “[casually flies around town shooting shit]” and I’d be lying if I said I wouldn’t read an entire chapter of just that. Deku is all, “[gets shot (≥_<)]” and releases a giant Smokescreen which prompts En to show up. En is all, “( •᷄⌓•᷅ ) (⌣̀ Δ⌣́) ( •̀_•́ )σ (¬､¬) (눈_눈)” which I consider to be a high point of both the chapter and of my life. The chapter ends with Deku using the Third’s quirk to launch a bunch of random objects at Nagant so that he can jump up and grab her arm all sneaky-like, and I’m sure this is going to prompt another week’s worth of discourse that I don’t care about at all, but fuck it, I’m having a good time.

OH WE’RE CUTTING BACK TO ALL MIGHT WELL THAT’S NICE I GUESS. CONGRATS ON NOT BEING DEAD

you named your car??

you named it Hercules??

I love you so much??

please marry me you giant fucking dork???

lmao speaking of huge fucking dorks

who the fuck are you clowns. la dee da we’re gonna murder All Might with our synchronized spear attack!! I mean... they’re clearly trying their best... maybe I should just be nice and politely hype them up like All Might is so clearly trying to do

like okay, but we all agree that this is actually the least intimidating attack any of us has ever seen, right?? these guys zipped up their hoodies all serious-like and are trying to attack All Might and Hercules with their Walmart tiki torches, but just, no?? right?? like the only way this could possibly be effective is if they were trying to kill All Might with secondhand embarrassment

“those are assassins” this is a VERY generous assessment, All Might

OH MY GOD THE TIKI TORCHES ACTUALLY KILLED THE FUCK OUT OF HERCULES

[slaps roof of car] this baby can fit so many weaponized festive backyard lighting solutions in it

and yet, even after watching this with my own two eyes, I still can’t take these dudes seriously. idek what it is. anyways r.i.p. Hercules, I loved you a lot but I guess you weren’t actually a very good armored car were you

omg they didn’t know it was All Might??

okay 1) for a moment there I was like “oh hey maybe they’re not so bad after all” but then a moment later it was like “ah nope, they are.” like, that was an interesting .06 second emotional journey there. anyways 2) All Might you have my permission to kick their asses for this disrespect, and 3) anyone else all of a sudden getting “wouldn’t this be an interesting time for Stain to suddenly show up” vibes?? no?? just me???

(ETA: hmm tbh I’ve still got those vibes and they haven’t gone away lol. Stain?? you out there buddy?? do you want to be cool for just once in your life. ball’s in your court pal.)

OH SNAP ALL MIGHT ARE YOU REALLY GONNA DO IT ARE YOU GONNA KICK THEIR ASSES

PROTECTIVE DAD MODE ACTIVATED?? BECAUSE YOU KNOW I’M HERE FOR THAT SHIT, SO YEAH, FEEL FREE

omg he’s shouting at them about how much Deku has suffered lmao and they’re just like falling over from being scolded

so they have absolutely no idea what he’s talking about though, right? “SIR THIS IS A WENDY’S” well whatever, you killed his pet car so he’s in a bad mood now

OH MY GOD

LIKE, JUST SO WE’RE ALL CLEAR, THESE FOUR PAGES SO FAR HAVE MADE ALMOST ZERO SENSE. LIKE MAYBE 2% SENSE TOPS. BUT ASK ME IF I CARE. GO AHEAD AND ASK. I SAID GO AHEAD, IT’S OKAY. ...NO I DON’T CARE AT ALL THANK YOU FOR ASKING

(ETA: also, the more I look at this panel, the more I’m just like, why the hell would you phrase it like that though, sob. way to doubly tempt fate?? are you trying to give Horikoshi a challenge??)

and now back to Deku who is randomly bouncing around the city and narrating it to himself just in case he was confused about why he was doing this

who are you talking to Deku. but thanks we appreciate it

man you gotta love that overconfidence. the smartest guy in the world warned you away from this lady, so SURE, LET’S RUN RIGHT UP TO HER. “I APPRECIATE YOUR INPUT, FLASHBACK!HAWKS, BUT I’LL TAKE IT FROM HERE” well okay then!!

I think it would be funny if RHA.com put little Buzzfeed-style polls in between the chapter pages so they could survey people at random intervals as they read their way through the chapter. like, you finish this page and then there’s a little poll there asking “do you think Deku’s plan of catching up to Lady Nagant and finding out where Shigaraki is will work?”, and you click “no” just like everyone else and then nod as the results show that 97% of your fellow readers also picked “no”, and you chuckle to yourself wondering how many of the 3% accidentally clicked on the wrong option by mistake, and then you keep on reading

ANYWAY, SO

HOW’S THAT PLAN WORKING OUT FOR YOU SO FAR DEKU. nice kick, though!!

omggggggg

ouch

update: Deku’s plan not really working out. sources tell me my boy has been fucking shot. this is an ongoing story and we will keep you posted with the latest developments as they come in

wait what

feel free to explain to the rest of us what all of this “UNLESS...” and “THAT POSSIBILITY...” shit means anytime, Deku

oh lol did he realize she could fly??

BREAKING NEWS UPDATE, CNN’s John King reports that Deku is still fucked. eyewitness reports now coming in that Nagant is doing no-look shots and basically not even giving a fuck. sources described her mannerisms and expression as “sexy, but in like an effortless sort of way.” we will continue to bring you the latest

so now there’s basically an entire page of Deku being all “ah fuck so she’s basically closing in and she could already hit me with impossible accuracy even from Far Away, so if that’s the case then her being Up Close is probably going to be even worse!” making good use of that Big Hero Brain there, Deku

so now what, you’re doing some kind of spiraling kick thing?? how is that going to help

oh lol he’s using Smokescreen to create some cover. aww, good for you Deku you named one of your Smokescreen attacks

OH NO LADY DON’T TELL ME AFO DIDN’T EVEN FILL YOU IN ON THE BASICS

seriously, AFO?? you basically told her what Deku’s exact strategy was going to be but then couldn’t be assed to drop that little, small, barely notable piece of knowledge that Deku is rocking multiple quirks?? is it supposed to be a secret or something?? you dropped the ball here man

damn this is getting intense now

(ETA: the way En is poking Deku’s head in that first panel is fucking sending me, I love this guy so much omg.)

well then what are you planning, Deku?? I’m actually really curious!! I am genuinely starting to be invested in this fight scene not only in the “wanting to see who wins and how that impacts the plot” sense, but also in the “wanting to see how it happens because the choreography and strategy is actually pretty cool” sense, which honestly hasn’t happened for quite a while now! this is fun

anyway so what���s up Deku, are you going to use another quirk?? I’ve been speculating that he hasn’t actually unlocked the last two yet (since Two and Three didn’t exactly seem convinced when we last saw them), but maybe I’m about to be proven wrong

(ETA: well he clearly has Three’s obviously, but Two’s is still MIA, and that’s the one I am of course the most curious about. that’s the one we’re all curious about, let’s be real.)

OH SNAP???

AHHHH I’M HYPED LOL. ANOTHER SHINY NEW QUIRK LOL SHOULD I PUT UP THE USUAL DISCOURSE DISCLAIMER

(ETA: so yeah, after thinking on it, I’m not gonna say “please no Deku discourse on my blog” this week, but I probably will ignore any discourse that does come my way though, just because I don’t have much interest in getting involved in what would probably be a pretty repetitive discussion. like, I can just sum up my opinions (which is what they are) here instead. in fact here they are lol:

1) I like the SIXQUIRKS and I like seeing Deku be a badass.

2) I also don’t think Deku is too OP. more like he’s exactly as OP as he needs to be at the moment, given that we’re approaching the end of the series. I expect the other kids will also be pretty damn OP when we see them fight again. we’re just at that point now where they’re all badasses (as well they should be; they’ve grown a lot and they deserve it). it’s just that Deku’s the one we’re getting to see right now.

3) of course I miss Kacchan and the others, but for me this vibes much closer to the MVA arc where even though I missed them, I was still having a blast (as opposed to the dark days of the Basement arc where I was pretty much losing it lol). like, even though Kacchan’s my favorite, I still love Deku a lot and this arc has been amazing for him getting to shine on his own (for like the first time, really).

4) y’all know I love the OFA plot and I’ve never been shy about that lol. I like all of the Vestiges a lot. Banjou and his over the top personality; En and his “guy you thought would be serious and :| all the time but is actually hyper-animated and ALL OVER THE PLACE” energy; Shiro who actually is a :| sort of guy lol; Three who I still expect will be fleshed out in a more detailed flashback at some point; and of course Two, who, well. you know what I think about him lol. Bakuverse is still on the table and I’m still hyped. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that we still have yet to see Two actually talk to Deku (as opposed to talking to the other Vestiges while Deku is distracted). did he lend him his power yet?? or is he still holding out?? either way it’s definitely going to be a Big Thing when it finally happens and I can’t wait to see it.

5) Lady Nagant is Everything and just because Deku grabbed her arm doesn’t mean the fight is over yet lol. Overhaul hasn’t come into play yet either. not to mention that even if the fight is over, the “where do we go from here” part still has me excited either way. her connection to Hawks and the HPSC is very intriguing and we’ve barely touched on that as of yet; she definitely has more of a role to play in this.

6) last but not least, I feel like every week the discussion is all about how much focus Deku’s getting, and how OP he is or isn’t, and OFA this and OFA that, but meanwhile I’m actually so invested in the character development here though?? the way Deku has distanced himself from everyone (except for the Vestiges, because of course they’re already dead so it’s not like they can die again lol)?? the way he’s pushing himself far too hard and we can see the shadows in and under his eyes, and the fact that he never smiles, and even All Might has remarked on how he isn’t taking care of himself at all?? the fact that he’s so single-mindedly obsessed with focused on stopping AFO?? the fact that he’s still the same sweet old Deku despite everything and was so kind to that fox lady with the umbrella, but there was also something so sad about that scene because it felt like a reminder of the type of hero that he wants to be, but that he’s not allowed to be right now?? because the stakes are too high and the world is falling apart?? and he feels like he’s the only one who can do something about it?? and that he has to be?? and that he is putting so much pressure on himself right now, and it’s absolutely too much pressure for any one person to bear, and I feel like no one is fucking talking about this lol goddammit.

anyway so yeah. I have feels about this, and every week that slow-burn angst is getting more and more intense behind the scenes, and I feel like it’s all going to hit a breaking point eventually. sooner rather than later. it really feels like a mirror of Katsuki’s post-Kamino arc. where all that angst was just churning below the surface for like twenty chapters and then it finally was like “okay it’s time” and it all came bursting out and we got the best five chapters of the fucking series (in my admittedly biased estimation lol).

basically, I know that most of fandom is billing this as either the “villain hunt” arc or the “solo Deku SIXQUIRKS fighting arc” or whatever. but for me, it’s always been and still is the Deku Angst arc lol. the cool fights are a sexy bonus (the worldbuilding less so because even though it’s interesting to see society at such a low point, it’s also very depressing and gets old pretty fast), but for me the thing that’s really keeping me engaged chapter after chapter is seeing Deku like we’ve never seen him before. seeing him all quiet and withdrawn and brooding and focused on AFO, AFO, AFO, and seeing that “he just doesn’t take himself into account” mentality taken to extremes. I am invested in that. I’m soaking up that angst each and every week, and I’m invested in seeing what comes of it. it’s a big picture thing. week to week this arc might just seem like a bunch of villain fight scenes, sure. but Deku’s emotional journey is the thread that’s going to carry this arc through from beginning to end, and for that I’m willing to be patient.

anyway that turned into a BIG OL’ RANT there but yeah! so those are my thoughts on the disk horse as it currently stands. and like I said, I’m open to discussion, but tbh I will probably just wind up repeating these same talking points endlessly so just a fair warning lol.)

anyway so Three says Deku has yet to use his quirk at ALL but now he’s trying to combine it with another quirk?? damn. also please check out En’s face here you guys

En launching a sneak attack up my favorite character list by the sheer power of his expressions alone. he really knows how to make the most of his screentime

OH DAMN DEKU

at this point the 3% from that hypothetical poll earlier are starting to feel prettttty damn smug, I’ll bet. well shit

what in the fuck

?? so like releasing his chi or whatnot?? isn’t that basically just like base OFA all over again?? also Deku did you seriously just apologize to Gran’s cape

update: Nagant has turned her eyeball into a gun

hm. hmmmmmmm. ...okay yep, still somehow sexy

anyway so she’s just floating up there building suspense, as one does. lord I sure hope she has good reflexes because something tells me she’s going to need them

OH SNAP HE THREW GRAN’S CAPE AS A DECOY WHAAAAT OKAY THAT’S SOME SMART SHIT DEKU

LOL SHE’S MAD NOW

JESUS CHRIST SHE JUST NEVER TAKES A GODDAMN BREAK FROM BEING AWESOME HUH

DEKU ARE YOU JUST THROWING EVERY DAMN THING IN YOUR INVENTORY

but without the cape and the hood how will you continue to look like an enigmatic badass. you really can’t. which means we might finally be moving on from the wandering nomad part of this arc, stay tuned

LOL YOU MANIAC

I hope he went full Kacchan with the dialogue there. his face sure looks like it lol. popped out of a building all mad fdskljlkj omg

well this was fun, shit. I still have basically no idea what Three’s quirk does though lol. like, can he use it to charge up objects with kinetic energy or something?? but then what was all of that talk about combining it with one of the other quirks?? or was that just because he was using Smokescreen at the same time??

(ETA: having seen and read an additional half-dozen explanations of Three’s quirk, I can say with confidence that I still have basically no idea what it is or does.)

anyway so!! Deku is a badasssssss but something tells me not to count Nagant out just yet even so. also I really enjoy seeing Deku flip out on people like he doesn’t have a fucking hole in his torso because it reminds me of A CERTAIN SOMEONE and I always love to see him channeling that feral energy; I feel like it’s been a while

anyways good luck to you both!! I truly wish that both of you could win. but if not, then maybe you can at least become friends instead. you have so much in common, you both can fly and have multiple quirks and you’re both badasses, and plus it would just be really funny to see the look on Hawks’s face lmao

[midnightstar-90]

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Georgie Cooper x Reader

Summary: To appease his worried mother, Sheldon employs the techniques of a self-help book to try and make a friend.

Warnings: None

AN: I plan to write a new chapter once a week. It may change at the end of the school year. On the other hand, I tried to add more to the story. I hope you guys like it.

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Y/N's Pov

I am walking to lunch, and when I round the corner, I see Mary and George looking through the lunchroom window and talking to each other. I make a confused face while listening in on their conversation. "Look at him. It breaks my heart," Mary says sadly. "Poor little guy. Sitting all alone", George says sadly while responding to Mary's comment. "I don't know why his brother or even Y/N can't sit with him. Actually, Where is Y/N. I don't see her anywhere."

"I'm right here," I say, spooking Mary and George before continuing with, "Also, I tried to sit with Sheldon on his first day, and he said it would be best for me to sit with people who have the same intellect as me. I found that rude because he meant Georgie, and I am so much smarter than Georgie. Anyways, Georgie doesn't sit with him because he says In school, they don't know each other". I look between Georgie and Sheldon, then look at my godparents. "Yeah, come on Mary, when you were in high school would you have lunch with a nine-year-old," George asked Mary. "Yes, I would have," Mary responded.  "Well, there is something wrong with you." I took George's words as a sign to leave.

"Well, I'm... gonna... go," I told the married couple before heading into the lunchroom to sit with Georgie and our friends. I sat down to Georgie, trying to fit as many grapes as he can into his mouth. "Fourteen," he yelled out while all of Georgie's friends cheered him on. Georgie spits them all out before turning to me. "What did you think," Georgie asked me, trying to get my opinion on his 'cool' trick. "Georgie, if I wanted to see you stuff your mouth, I would just wait till dinner. In other words, not that interesting," I told my best friend. Georgie replied with a sad "oh" before going back to talking with his friends. I went back to finishing my newest sketch of a finch.

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Georgie and I walked into the house. "Georgie, would you do me a tiny little favor," Mary asked Georgie while he was getting a drink out of the fridge. I sat with the girl I thought of as a little sister before saying hi. Georgie responded back with a "like what" before Mary asked Georgie to sit with Sheldon. I already told Mary why I don't sit with Sheldon. Missy with her smart remarks told Georgie, "Don't do it. I ate with him in second grade, it really hurt my social life." Georgie walked off while replying to Mary with a "No thanks". I kicked Missy under the table, then gave her a 'seriously' look. I shook my head and followed Georgie to 'help' him with his homework, which was more like do his work.

I don't follow Georgie because I'm his lost puppy. I follow Georgie to help him. Without me, Georgie would grow up to be a homeless man with great hair. I am basically Georgie's Guardian angel.

"Georgie, why do I always end up doing your homework? At this point, I don't even think you know how to read. Those magazines are just for show, and you know it. You probably only look at the pictures," I said to Georgie while sitting on his bed doing our geometry homework. "Aw, come on Y/N, don't you know that you're the smartest out of both of us. Without you, I would probably still be in the 5th grade. You were right about something though, those books are for looking, but I can read you." I roll my eyes at Georgie's comment before looking down and smiling.

I admit I might have a bit of a crush on Georgie but we're best friends, and how could I ever compare those girls in his magazine. If I tell Georgie that I like him, that could ruin our friendship, and that would be weird because we live together. So, I just stick to being his best friend. That way our friendship isn't ruined and I can still be as close to him as I can.

"Well I finished your homework and it's 10 o'clock, so I guess this is it. Have a good night," I said before heading out.

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Georgie's POV

Y/N walked out of my room. I felt sad because she was gone. We talk all day, she does my homework, and we have practiced together, but I still miss her. "Maybe I like her," I mumble to myself while laying down staring at the ceiling. "Naw, that can't be," I said. I shut off my light and fell asleep.

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Y/N's POV

I was leaving my art class when I see Sheldon talking to one of the cheerleaders. It's weird to be seeing Sheldon interacting with people without them running off and crying. It interested me so much I decided to listen in.

"Go wolves," Sheldon said in a monotone voice. Jessica closed her locker confused. Sheldon responded back to Jessica with, "You're a cheerleader, and by saying "Go Wolves" I'm initiating a conversation about something that interests you." "Oh, are you one of those special ed kids," Jessica asked still trying to understand what was happening. The older sister part of me kinda felt angry that she said that, but on the other hand she was talking to Sheldon. "My mom says I'm special. Would you like to be friends" Sheldon asks. She tells him, no, but Sheldon keeps going, "Are you sure? What if I told you I admired your boldly-applied makeup?" Jessica walks off offended.

I walk up to Sheldon frantically and say, "Sheldon, you can't say mean things like that. I'm at the top of the pyramid today, and Jessica is right underneath me." "Oh, I didn't know what I said was offensive. I thought that I was complimenting her," Sheldon says. "Well, just try not to insult people. If you don't know what to say, don't say anything to them." Sheldon replies with an "alright" before walking away from me. I watch Sheldon go before heading to my next class.

I got to my next class and I sat down beside Georgie. "I just ran into Sheldon trying to make friends," I told Georgie while I get the stuff I need for class out of my backpack. "I feel bad for whoever had to put up with Sheldon. That boy is not one for making friends," Georgie responds to my comment. "Well, I think it's cute, but I feel bad because he didn't make one friend." "You sound like my mom," Georgie says. I glare at Georgie. The teacher walks in and starts the class.

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I hear Mary yelling about how Sheldon made a friend. I felt happy for him. I feel like Sheldon would really benefit from having a friend. I mean, I have Georgie, and we're inseparable.

I also heard Sheldon ask if he can start his rocketry hobby again with his new friend and I dipped. The last time he launched a rocket he killed a family of squirrels and my eyebrows. I wanted to bond with Sheldon so I helped him with his rocket.

I went downstairs to watch tv with Missy. She was watching DuckTales. "I'm surprised you're not with Georgie," Missy comments as I sit down with her. I roll my eyes and say, "Georgie isn't my whole life. I talked to Sheldon earlier, and now I just want to hang out with you. Sheldon has a new friend now, I have Georgie, but I feel like you don't have anyone to hang out with. So, what do you say tomorrow I take you to get your nails done." Missy's eyes go wide and she excitedly shouts, "Yes, I'm gonna go tell mom!"

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After school, Missy and I went to get our nails done.

(Missy's Nails)

(Y/N's Nails)

When Missy and I got home Mary told us that Sheldon's friend was coming over. Missy and I sat down to talk and watch tv. There was a knock at the door, and that set Mary off. "He's here," she yelled. "Everybody, stay calm! Just a normal day, just a normal dinner," she continued. Missy asks if she and I can eat in front of the TV, which obviously didn't end well.

We're all sitting at the dinner table, except for Mary, when George starts asking Tam, questions. George makes it weird when he asked Tam if his mom was named Kim-lee. Me and Georgie look at each other with a cringed look.

Georgie releases us from the weird vibes when he asks Tam, "So, Vietnam, like in Rambo." Tam responds with a "yes" and then Georgie continues with, "That's a cool movie." Georgie asks Tam if he's in Rambo and I look at him and elbow him in the ribs. Georgie says, "oww, what was that for" before Tam tells him "no". Sheldon brings the conversation back to George's comment, but it is cut off by Mary serving dinner.

We learned a lot about Tam's family and life. It was very interesting. Georgie said a couple more stupid things, which earned him a few more elbows to the ribs.

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I was in my room, getting ready for bed. Georgie walks in and sits on my bed.

(Y/N's Room)

(Y/N's PJ's)

"How was the day with my sister," Georgie asks me. I sign for Georgie to get off the bed and say, "We had fun. After our nails, we went to Dairy Queen and got a blizzard. I think Missy and I really needed today, you know." Georgie helps me make my bed and continues the conversation, "I missed you today." "Is Georgie Cooper jealous? Georgie Cooper didn't have someone to do his homework and now he's sad," I said mocking Georgie. Georgie grows a sad look on his face and says, "No, I missed my best friend. Not the girl that does my homework, or the girl that helps me clean my room. I miss the girl I talk to for hours. The girl that makes me feel special compared to the rest of my family. I miss that girl and that girl is you."

"Wow, that was deep for a kid that went a couple of hours without seeing me, but I know how you feel. Missy and Sheldon don't know how to do the things we do. I almost made Missy cry by insulting her earlier. I think I hang around boys too much," I say getting ready to lay down. Georgie climbs into the bed with me and we silently talk for the rest of the night.

[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Good Girl, Bad Boy (Pt. 02 of 15)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.3 K

Summary: You're the extreme opposite of Billy Hargrove. The good girl, with perfect grades, the child every mother wants to have. And you don't want to have nothing to do with his kind. Ignoring Billy – and his constant, lingering stare – became an habit. But after you're put together for a special school program, you'll have no choice but to get along with him. And soon enough you'll find out that Billy is so much more than just Hawkins' bad boy.

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{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

×

Growing Closer

You find Billy walking away from his locker, ready to go home. He's alone this time, and you heard something about Stacy being mad at him. You wonder what he did to her. Or if he just got tired and is now aiming for someone else.

“Hargrove.” You call when you're closer enough to be heard. Billy turns around immediately, and you both stop in the middle of the hall. “Do you happen to have some time? We need to discuss the calendar.”

“Sure.” He simply says, and it's clear to you he's pissed off already. He was forced into the program, so it's only normal he doesn't want to do that.

“We can hit the library. It remains open for two hours after class.” You can't help but notice some people staring. But that isn't a surprise. You and Billy are as different as day and night, and nobody expects to see you two talking.

“Sure.” He repeats, and a fun expression crosses his face before he steps aside, gesturing for you to walk.

Chuckling, you furrow your eyebrows, starting to make your way to the library.

You know the place by heart since you're here at least three times a week. Waving at the teacher who stays in the reception, you pick a table in the back, so your chattering won't bother anyone. Taking a seat, you watch as Billy settles down across from you.

It's a little weird at first, and a silence falls in between you two. You suddenly realize you've been staring at him, way too focused on his blue eyes. You didn't know Billy's eyes were so beautiful. But you quickly clear your throat, searching on your bag for your notebook.

“I made you this planner.” Pulling the paper sheet off the notebook, colorful by many different marker colors, you slide it over to him. Billy's eyes fall on it immediately, eyebrows raising. “It's just to help you keep up with everything until the end of the year. More stuff will probably be add, but don't worry, I'll let you know.”

“You have everything figured out, don't you?” He finally speaks up, holding the paper in his hands.

“I know you don't want to do this. But this is senior year and you're almost free. Just a little longer and this will be over.” Offering him a small smile, you put a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I won't repeat the year. My grades are enough to get me through.” He sounds a little angry, and you sigh.

You don't know what to say to make him cooperate if he doesn't want to. “Look, you can't get out of the Improvement Program. But you can pick another tutor. So if you want, I have a list of everyone who's still available and maybe if there's someone you already know or happen to be friends with–” As you speak, you start looking in your bag for the small blueish paper. “–you just have to talk to Mrs Martinez and–”

“I want you to be my tutor.” His voice startles you since it's a little too loud and because of the silence, it echoes a bit. “But just because I know you're the smartest person in this school.”

Biting your lip, you nod, not sure how you feel about his compliment. “Thanks... I try.”

“You freaking succeed,” Billy mutters, cupping his hands above the table.

There's heat creeping through your cheeks so you look away, bringing back to mind what else you must talk to him about. “So, the next project is a presentation on History about World War I. Our part is about the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, the invasion of Bosnia and Herzegovina, and the July crisis. The happenings before the war was set.”

“Great.”

“Shhh.” Someone says, and you look at a small group of people on your left.

“You shut up, asshole.” Billy raises his voice a little, and you look at him with wide eyes.

“Hey. Don't say that.” You warn him, giving the boy an apologetic look. “We're at a library, we're supposed to be quiet.”

“Excuse me.” Mr Williams comes, standing a few feet away. “Some students are complaining about your chattering, so I'll have to ask you to leave, please.”

“Oh...” Blushing a little, you start gathering your stuff. “Sorry, Mr Williams. We'll leave.” Billy is just about to say something when you give him a look.

You're quickly outside again, fixing the strap of your bag on your shoulder. “We...” Moving out of the way of some people heading to the library, you set into his pace, walking side by side. “We'll need some time to work on everything. So we can switch between your place and mine because doing things in the library won't work.” You feel a little shy to propose this, but it's not a big deal. You'll be doing this until the end of the year, so it's quite inevitable. “If that's ok with you, of course.”

“We should hit your place then. My father is home today, so... It just won't work.” There's a change in his voice, and you glance at him.

“My mother is home too. But she won't bother us.” Walking a little faster, you gesture at your car. “Just follow me.”

Billy nods, and you smile, giving him a little wave.

The school is empty, and so are the streets around it, so you have no trouble speeding away. Keeping your eyes on the review mirror, it only takes twenty minutes to get to your house, so you park on your usual spot, stepping out of the car and waiting for Billy to do the same. When he finally joins you on the porch, you move to unlock the door.

Billy couldn't help but feel lucky to be at her place. He never thought he'd come here, under any circumstances. Trying not to let her notice, he allows his eyes to wander a little as she opens the door, taking in the place (Y/N) calls home. It has a weird feeling for him, almost as if the place is sacred, somewhere he wasn't supposed to be.

“My mother is nice. But she may say some embarring stuff so... Be prepared.” Following her inside, Billy notices as her mother looks at them, eyes going a little wide to see him. He wonders if she isn't used to her daughter bringing boys home. Knowing (Y/N), he knows she's not. “Mom, this is Billy Hargrove. I told you about him yesterday, remember? From the Improvement Program.”

She told her mother about him. So yes, she was thinking about him. Maybe just for a couple of seconds, maybe just as someone she knows, who she has told to help. But it doesn't matter. (Y/N) was thinking about him, and for now, it's enough.

“Of course.” She stands up, coming to give her daughter a quick hug and shake Billy's hand. “I'm Amanda. (Y/N)'s mother.”

“It's good to meet you, Mrs–”

“Call me Amanda kid, or else I feel terribly old.” She jokes, kindly smiling. “I believe you'll be hanging around here a lot because of school. But don't worry, I won't get in your way.”

“Thanks, mom. We'll be in the dining room.” (Y/N)'s light touch on his forearm is enough to make him shot her a glance, almost too desperate, something in him wanting to ask her why she did such a thing. Billy curses himself as he follows her to the dining room for feeling so stupid. It's just a freaking touch. On his freaking arm. And she wasn't even giving it much thought.

As Billy settles down on the table, (Y/N) moves the centerpiece to the edge so they'll have more space. “Do you want anything? Water? Or some chips? I happen to have some.”

Her voice sends Billy into some kind of stupor. A guy like him shouldn't feel this way. (Y/N) is just a girl, and he had many. But none of them ever made him feel like this. Like his heart is trying to jump off his chest. After a year, he did think he got over it. But he was wrong. Billy didn't want to be this close to (Y/N), always watching her from a safe distance. But this stupid school had to put them together, so damn close. Look at him now, seated on her dining table, staring at her like a complete idiot.

Just because she offered him water and freaking chips.

“Water is nice.” He mumbles, eyes on her back as she walks away, passing behind his chair. A sweet scent irradiates from her. Like flowers, he doesn't know which one though, like freaking sunshine.

Laughing at his stupidity, Billy looks down at his hands. How can someone smell like sunshine? It's illogical.

“Get it together, she's just a girl,” Billy says to himself, resting his back against the chair and taking his jacket off, laying on the chair next to him. Girls are nothing new to him. He had they all figured out, their ways, how to break them, how to please them, how to bend them to his will.

But not (Y/N).

A nice girl like her is immune to his tricks. And that's good because if she wasn't, it would mean she could also fall on someone's traps. Like Tommy, or Jimmy, or Jackson. The very thought of those assholes with her, touching, caressing, kissing... It disgusts him, and he's quick to push such images away.

“Did you say something?” (Y/N) asks, coming back from the kitchen and handing him a glass with cold water. Once she's close enough, he takes a deep breath, and her sweet scent almost drives him mad.

She's not a girl for you, get it together. “No.” He mumbles, taking long sips before putting the glass down. “So what now?” He sounds a little rude, so he immediately clears his throat after, eyes on (Y/N) as she takes a seat next to him on the round table instead of across from him. Billy finds it odd, but he's thankful for the proximity. This way, he can be surrounded by her candy-like scent, trying to memorize it so he could play it back later. When he's into the nightmare he calls home.

You're just about to start, History books already on the table, since you'll begin with the presentation, notebooks and papers so you can take notes, but then you look at Billy. There's a bruise on the apple of his cheek that you haven't noticed it before.

“Did you get into a fight?” You ask, leaning slightly forward to take a better look.

“What?” There's a moment of confusion on his face before it changes. “Yeah.”

“Did you win?”

“In a way.” It doesn't look like he'll say anything else.

“Well, if someone punches you, make sure to beat them up.” Smiling a little, you take the History book, opening it on chapter 7. “What exactly do you know about–”

“Are you still dating Steve?”

The question takes you by surprise, making you nervously giggle. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Just curious.” He shrugs his shoulders, tilting his head to the side. “Saw you two talking earlier today and he wouldn't be happy to know we'll be around each other a lot.”

“Steve is my friend. We dated last year but only for two months.” Avoiding Billy's eyes, you go through the book, not really paying attention to anything. You can feel his stare, and for some reason, your cheeks start heating up.

“Who broke up with who?”

Chuckling, you turn your body towards him. “Why do you want to know, Billy?” Maybe he's just trying to procrastinate. “Because if you're just trying to delay things I–”

“No, I really want to know.” He leans forward, pulling the book closer to him. “You and Harrington don't fit together, so I was surprised to see you hanging out with him last year.”

“Steve and I got pretty close when he dropped the jerk act. And we were both single so we decided to give it a try.” The only reason you're telling Billy this is because it's not a secret. Some people know and they probably didn't put any effort into keeping it hidden. “But it didn't click. We were dating but it wasn't really romantic, so...” You smile to remember it, and the memory that comes back is definitely a secret. Nancy is the only one who knows, her and Steve, obviously. But you guess it's ok to tell Billy, it's quite funny. And silly. “We... We never really kissed, you know?”

“What?” His voice startles you, and the genuine confusion on his face only makes you laugh. “You're joking.”

“I'm not, and if this gets out, I'll know it was you.” With a finger pointing at his face, you fake a threatening face. “So keep it between us or else.”

Pinching his eyebrows together, Billy seems amused. “Or else what?” His voice gets lower, as he leans closer.

“Or else I'll have no choice but to make out with Steve in front of the whole school.” In a sassy tone, you smile, biting your tongue not to laugh at his expression. Billy is... Impressed? Surprised, maybe. Something tells you he wasn't expecting this answer.

“Ew. Please don't.”

“Then don't tell anyone.” Shrugging your shoulders, you pull your feet up, crossing your legs on the chair. “Now, C'mon. World War I.”

“One more question and we get to it.” As he speaks, you feel him pulling your hand away from the notebook, forcing you to give him attention. “Why in the hell didn't you and Steve–”

“We kissed. I mean, those quick kisses, you know. Like when you say hi or goodbye. Just a peck in the lips. But that was it.”

“That was it?”

“That was it.” Giggling again, you assure him. Why is it so important to him anyway? “Now, can we start?”

You watch as Billy's eyes remain on you, burning, lingering. After a while, his lips break into a smile and he looks down at the book, shaking his head lightly. “Let's start.”

×

@multific @clockworkballerina @tina1938 @graciehams @moatsnow @all-the-stars-on-your-skin

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

By My Side (Part 4)

Summary: The reader goes to dinner with her step brothers, Michael and Nick, as well as Jensen. When Jensen starts to see how her brothers treat her though, Jensen and the reader have a heart to heart and start to try a different tactic with their relationship...

Masterlist

Pairing: Bodyguard!Jensen x reader

Word Count: 3,700ish

Warnings: language, sibling angst, minor violence, mentioned prior deaths

A/N: Enjoy!

_________

Monday Evening

“Hey pipsqueak,” said Nick, your arms crossed from where you sat on the couch trying to watch TV. “Since dad and your mom are at dinner at that fancy place, maybe you could take us out?”

“Yeah,” said Michael, still texting away on his phone at the other end of the couch. “There’s that steak place dad said was good. Y/N, you want to have dinner with your big brothers?”

“Not particularly,” you said. 

“She still hate us?” said Nick as he came up to the back of the couch, ruffling your hair and placing his hands on your shoulders. “You gotta let that shit go. We were kids.”

“I was a kid. You were both twenty years old and you two harassed me until I moved out, well past when you knew better. Now that I have money, you two-”

“What was that?” asked Nick and you swallowed. “Come on. Let’s get dinner.”

“Whatever. Jensen! We’re going to dinner wherever you are,” you called out. “Jensen!”

He came down the far hallway near where your office was, his hand behind his back on his holster but you shook your head.

“We’re going out,” you said as he dropped his hand down. “To eat. We’ll be back in a couple hours.”

“I’m going with you,” he said. You thought that was odd of him but he made his jaw hard and clenched it. “It’s part of my contract. I go where you go.”

“He’s perky isn’t he,” said Michael as he stood up. You rolled your eyes and went towards the front door to get your purse.

Half an hour later the three of you were seated with Jensen sat at the bar close by and keeping an eye on you.

“Surprised he didn’t ask to sit with us,” mumbled Nick. “Why do you have a bodyguard again?”

“After my old manager tried to have me kidnapped for publicity,” you said.

“You know how to pick ‘em,” said Michael. You gripped the menu tight and reviewed it, already knowing your step brothers wouldn’t even pretend to offer to pay for their meals. You never quite understood them. Chuck was always good to your mom and nice to you. You weren’t particularly close but you didn’t dislike each other either. You got along, he asked about you, you spent time together whenever you visited them. Chuck had always been okay in your book. His children though you could have sworn were adopted with how horrible they could be to you.

“How much you want to bet me I could get that douchey little bodyguard over here in less then five seconds?” asked Nick, a smirk on his face you didn’t like.

“He’s just doing his job. Let him do it in peace.”

“I still don’t get why you have one,” said Michael as he looked over the wine list. “Compared to the other girl on the show, you’re like, not good looking.”

“Dude, I’m your sister. You’re not supposed to find me good looking.”

“I know that, dipshit. I mean, you’re just, plain,” he said. “You’re not the main lead. That’s probably why.”

“I’m co-lead. We have no main lead.”

“But you’re second on the call sheet credits thing,” said Nick.

“Cause Gen got hired before me.”

“She’s still hotter than you,” mumbled Nick.

“She’s married and they’re both my best friends.”

“I didn’t say I want to fuck her. Relax. You’re always so uptight,” said Nick. You bit your tongue and weren’t surprised when Michael ordered a few hundred dollar bottle of wine. You got the twenty dollar one you normally did that tasted just as good and Nick went for an expensive Scotch you’d never heard of. 

“Oh,” you said to the waiter before he could leave. “The man on the end of the bar there, his drinks and meal are on me.”

“No problem,” he said as he took off. 

“She’s got no problem paying for his food,” muttered Michael.

“It’s part of his job. For him, this is a business expense,” you said. You gnawed the inside of your cheek and forced a smile. “The garlic bread is very good here if you guys want to get some.”

“Good with me,” said Michael. He gave you a smile, a genuine one before he was checking his phone again. You’d always liked Michael far more than Nick. On his own, Michael was a pretty decent guy. When he got with Nick though, and that was more often than not, even into adulthood, he was normally pretty unbearable.

“Working any big new clients?” you asked, your voice a tad too high but he ignored it while Nick went to the restroom.

“Potentially. I actually got a job offer in LA. Senior partner,” he said.

“That’s great,” you said, Michael smiling.

“You’re actually happy about that, for real,” he said.

“You’re incredibly smart. You always have been. I’m really happy you’re getting out of our little hometown and going to work at a bigger firm,” you said. “That’s a really big deal. You should be proud.”

“Here I thought you’d tell me not to move to your city,” he said.

“Why do you think I’d say that?” you asked.

“You don’t like us,” he said, nodding to the empty spot beside him. “You never have.”

“You guys are dicks most of the time. You skipped over the getting to know each other thing and went right into horrible dick older brothers.”

“We weren’t horrible. We still aren’t. I have worked cases that would make your skin crawl. We’re the Brady bunch compared to most people.”

“My dad died and I was so excited to have big brothers, you know? That year was so horrible and Chuck made mom stop crying and laugh again and I love him for that. But you guys...it doesn’t matter. I’m happy you’re getting a promotion, Michael.”

“Our mom died too that year,” he said, lowering his head.

“I know she did,” you said. “Forget I said anything.”

“So when do you go back to work?” asked Michael as Nick returned.

“A few months from now,” you said.

“What are you gonna do after that?” he asked.

“Honestly I’m not sure right now. I like TV but I might do movies. My options are pretty open,” you said. “How’s teaching going?”

“Always a joy,” said Nick, taking a long sip of his water. “I got tenure finally. Not sure if I’m gonna stay though. If Mikey moves out here I might take a position at UCLA.”

“Oh. So you’re thinking of moving out here too?” you asked. Nick narrowed his eyes and you you looked away. “Maybe mom and Chuck will come out if you guys do.”

“Maybe,” said Nick. Thankfully you spotted your waiter come back with your drinks and you were able to order your appetizer and dinner, already expecting a nearly thousand dollar bill thanks to their alcohol choices. 

“I’ll be right back,” you said. You excused yourself and walked over to the bar, Jensen sipping on a glass of beer while he half-watched a TV behind the bar.

“Require saving from your brothers?” he smirked to himself, turning before you could tap him on the shoulder.

“Why do you say that?” you asked, leaning against the padded bartop. 

“Just a vibe I get, you and Nick especially,” he said. “Nobody gets a pass from me.”

“He’s not a great older brother but he’s harmless,” you said.

“He intimidates you.”

“Like I said, he’s not great but the worst thing he’s ever done was leave me with a group of strange guys. Michael did the same thing. Otherwise they’re just like, crappy older brothers.”

“Crappy or something else? Like I said, nobody gets a pass from me.”

“Jensen. They would never hurt me. I swear on my life.”

“Michael wouldn’t. Nick...I’ll be keeping an eye on him, both of them, whether you want me to or not. I’m the asshole bodyguard after all,” he smirked again.

“Well, it sounds like they’re both gonna move out here soon so we’ll be seeing them more.”

“Lovely,” said Jensen. “So why’d you come over? Need a break from them?”

“Yes. Also, I already told the waiter but your drinks and food are all on me. Feel free to order whatever you want,” you said.

“I’ll stick to the one beer. I’m at work still,” he said.

“They have really good steak. The filet is amazing along with the green beans,” you said. Jensen smiled and played with his glass, swishing the ice cubes around. “The lobster macaroni is also a great side.”

“That’s a hundred dollar steak.”

“Jensen, you know I can afford it.”

“I also know how much you’re paying me. I can afford it.”

“Jensen. I’m your boss. I’m paying for it. Next time I want Taco Bell, you can pay at the drive through if it makes you feel better,” you said. He smiled, a soft gentle little smile you’d never seen on his face before. You returned it, Jensen staring at you before he shook his head and it fell away.

“I’m going to lose this argument, aren’t I.”

“Yeah, you are. I’d much rather pay for your meal than those two bimbos. I like you better,” you said.

“Must have a pretty low bar for them then,” he said.

“Why’d you stop talking to me? After the paparazzi guy?” you asked. He shrugged and wiped off a stray drop of condensation on his glass. “Please?”

“There’s a line I have to keep with you. We can be friendly but if something happens, I am in charge. There can be no doubts about that. I felt that I needed to step back and reaffirm that boundary.”

“We can keep the boundary. But we can be friends too. If you say hide, I’ll hide. If you say run, I’ll run. I know you think I’m a dumb actress but-”

“You’re not dumb. You’re one of the smartest people I’ve ever met,” he said. You blinked and he offered a half smile. “You have an ability to push through panic and be logical. I know guys with all the training in the world that can’t do that. You’re not a dumb actress. It’s obvious that you were raised to be intelligent.”

“My point is, I will do what you tell me to when it’s those hard moments. But I have confidence that you were wrong before. You can like someone, maybe even care about them like a friend, and still be able to protect them. I actually think it’ll make you better at your job.”

“Give me one example of where that works. Just one.”

“Maybe you want to try talking to your bestie, Jared,” you said. “Or literally most anyone in a relationship anywhere.”

“Touche,” he said. He smiled and nodded. “No more cold shoulder.”

“Thanks.”

“So I should try the macaroni with my steak?” he asked.

“And the green beans. You get two sides. You can get however many you want actually. The dessert selection here is even better than the steak if you can believe it.”

“I’ll have to check it out,” he said. “But no green beans. Traumatic childhood incident with them.”

“I better not be attacked by the cabbage patch kids. They might just take you down,” you said, Jensen giggling to himself. “Oh, he does laugh. Good to know. The roasted truffle garlic fries are really good too.”

“Thanks,” he said. “I think I’ll check them out.”

“Do you want to sit with us?” you asked, nodding back towards the table.

“I better not. I don’t think your brothers like me very much,” he said. “I got a better vantage point over here anyways.”

“Vantage point?” you asked.

“Got a weird feeling is all. I want to stay sharp tonight,” he said. You nodded and turned to go, Jensen catching your bicep. “If something happens, what do you do?”

“Duck and cover and wait for you to get me,” you said.

“Good girl. You did read my instructions.”

“Yup. Even read the part about how to get out of your hands being tied behind your back. Unfortunately, I’m not flexible enough and my ass is too big for that,” you said. He chuckled and you smirked. “Oh you know it is.”

“I’m not opposed to that fact,” he said. You went wide eyed and he laughed. “My boss is hot, what can I say.”

“You better stick to the one drink after all, Ackles,” you said, laughing as you lightly whacked his arm. “Try the triple brownie sundae for dessert. You won’t regret it.”

“Thanks, Y/N.”

“I think I gained five pounds,” said Michael, stretching out in his seat nearly two hours later, the waiter bringing over the check. You frowned at the bill but it was what you were expecting. You stuck your card in the pocket and caught the waiter pretty quickly. It was getting late and you were tired. Even your step-brothers were getting quiet so you hoped to get home quickly.

The waiter returned and you wrote out a tip, sticking your card back in your wallet and purse. You stretched as you stood up, your step brothers taking their time to get to their feet. You headed over towards Jensen when the sound of glass shattering caught your attention. You turned your head and heard tires screeching outside, spotting that the window at the front of the restaurant was gone now. You barely saw the cop car driving by before you heard sharp little noises in the air and felt like you got hit by a truck. 

Suddenly you were on the ground, Jensen on top of you. Nick and Michael were ducked down under the table along with most everyone in the restaurant, some people at the bar hopping over the counter and diving behind the back. The whole place was silent and you all heard the front door to the place open abruptly. Jensen stood up in one smooth motion, his gun out and aimed, a shot ringing out a second later as someone yelled. A few seconds later there was a loud echo of feet, Jensen setting his gun on the ground and holding up his hands. Police filled in the place, two very angry looking officers rushing over to him and barking orders.

“It’s okay,” said Jensen to you as he knelt down.

Less than five minutes later he was released and some hostess was thanking him over and over still for stopping the guy that had come in looking for trouble. Jensen shrugged it off, only grazing the guy and the police pretty impressed with him for doing so. 

“Are we free to go?” asked Jensen, an officer nodding. He waved for you and your step-brothers to follow, Jensen driving the four of you back to your place quickly. Nick and Michael took their rental car back to their hotel, neither one much in the mood to talk after what had happened.

Jensen checked that the house was secure before he went to his room and shut the door. You weren’t sure if he was okay or not. He seemed pretty calm but he had shot a guy, if only barely. Instead of heading to your bedroom, you wandered down the hall to his area of the house. There was a guest suite there he used for his bed and bathroom but he rarely used it unless he was going to bed and he always, always told you when he was turning in for the night.

As you were about to knock on the door you heard the faint sound of a shower and nodded. He was simply cleaning up. It didn’t sound like a bad idea to yourself honestly. You went down the hall to your room, flipping on the light. It was a soft white in there, the wall behind the bed a shiplap that led up to wood beams going across the vaulted ceiling. Another light was flipped on in the bathroom and you stepped under the shower for a few minutes, washing off your face and skin. After five minutes you went out to the bedroom and over to the closet, finding a pajama shirt and shorts to slip into. Your hair was thrown up in a messy bun and you found your oversized fleece hoodie you occasionally slept in. Tucking it under your arm, you headed out of the room and back down the hall, Jensen’s door still shut.

“Jensen?” you said, knocking on the door lightly. “Can I come in?”

“Yeah,” he said. Carefully you pushed the door open, Jensen walking out of his bathroom in just his boxer briefs, wiping a towel over his head. He tugged it down and stared at you, your eyes going to his chest, legs and everywhere in between. 

“I uh, wanted to make sure you were alright,” you said, ripping your eyes away and meeting his gaze. He nodded and tossed his towel back into the laundry basket by the closet.

“I’m fine. You?”

“Yeah. I uh-”

“No need to be nervous around me,” he said.

“Right,” you said, Jensen walking right in front of you before stopping. “I just wanted to make sure you were okay and to say thanks.”

“It’s my job,” he said. 

“Still,” you said. “I...here. I thought you might like this.”

“A hoodie?” he asked as you handed him the fleece. “What’s this for?”

“S’my bad day hoodie. I wear it to bed sometimes. Makes me feel better,” you said with a shrug.

“Old boyfriend’s?” he asked as he pulled it on, a soft smile spreading across his cheeks. “It’s so soft. Thanks, Y/N.”

“You’re welcome,” you said.

“So was it the boyfriends? Or you get it for yourself?” he asked.

“It was a birthday present for my dad. He died the week before. I never got to give it to him.”

“I shouldn’t be wearing this,” he said, moving to take it off when you caught his wrists. He was so much stronger than you but he let you manhandle him and move his hands back to his sides.

“It fits you better than it ever did me. Besides, I think you’re a little on edge and not telling me which is fine. It’s good for that,” you said. “I want you to keep it.”

“Y/N, I can’t keep something like this,” he said. You stared at him, Jensen swallowing. “It’s important to you.”

“Yes. But you gave me your blanket and wouldn’t let me return it. Fair is fair,” you said.

“Y/N-”

“S’an order, Jensen. Keep it.”

“Yes mam,” he said quietly.

“I hate when you call me that,” you said, moving your hands away from him.

“I know you do,” he said, a quick smirk crossing his face. “Why aren’t you using this yourself tonight?”

“I got my blanket. I’m good,” you said.

“It doesn’t explain why you’re giving me this though.”

“Lately, something else has been making me feel better and safe. My dad would have liked you.”

“Your father was a good person. A brave person,” said Jensen. 

“You know how he died,” you said, Jensen returning a nod. “I used to be really angry at him. Why’d he have to go help that woman? He could have walked past and been alive. But since I got older, if I was that woman being attacked, I would pray for a man like that to come help me. I know he was good.”

“I will do my very best to be that man for you,” he said. 

“I know you will. If you need something, come get me,” you said.

“Y/N,” he said just as you spun around. “May I have the morning off? You will be with family and my sister is in town for the day for work. I’d like to get lunch with her if I could.”

“Take the day,” you said with a smile, looking back over your shoulder. “She can come to dinner if you like.”

“She’s got a flight back at five thirty,” he said. “Thanks though.”

“It’s no problem,” you said. “Goodnight, Jensen.”

“Goodnight,” he said. You pulled his door shut after yourself and went down to your own bedroom to get under the covers. You stared up at the ceiling, hearing a light pitter patter on the rooftop. Rain was so rare in LA that you normally welcomed it when it came around. It reminded you of back home in a way.

A text popped up on your phone just as you were closing your eyes. It was from Gen and was a link to some news article about the restaurant, a picture of you and Jensen front and center.

You wrote back you were fine and turned off your phone, knowing you’d have to deal with questions in the morning.

________

A/N: Read Part 5 here!

[farfromsugafanfic]

Dance Lessons

Genre: Hogwarts AU, friends to lovers, fluff

Pairing: Hoseok/Reader

Warnings: drinking, mentions of bullying, tooth rotting fluff

Synopsis: Your friends are absolutely stunned when you say you’re not going to attend Yule Ball. When they find out it’s because your embarrassed to dance, your friend Hobi offers to give you a lesson. If only he knew he was the reason why.

Note: I’m not really satisfied with this but I’ve been blocked lately and it’s the best I can do at the moment. I’ll probably write him another Hogwarts AU eventually with a better concept. Regardless, I hope you enjoy this fluffy mess of a one shot

vVv

"So," Taehyung said. "Does everyone have dates for Yule Ball yet?" His cheeks were stuffed with hot dumplings, but he didn't seem to notice as steam escaped his mouth. 

You tried sinking into the bench and took a bite of your mash potatoes, hoping that by stuffing your mouth no one would pry further. Luckily, someone else piped up before you. 

"I'm going with Hye-jung," your best friend, Hoseok said. 

Your heart dropped and you shoveled another spoonful of potatoes into your mouth. Bangers and mash is your ultimate comfort food--the magic of Hogwarts and the house elves somehow knowing you needed it.

"It's so unfair that the two best dancers always go together," Jinjoo said. She glanced over at you. You imagined that your red hair resembled a lion's main and your cheeks matched the color. "You always steal the show."

Hobi shrugged. "We just dance well together." 

"It's not like you like Hye-jung though," you said, finally swallowed the potatoes and carefully used a cooling spell to quell the heat that had risen in your cheeks. "What if someone asked you otherwise? Would you go with them?" 

Hoseok looked down at his bowl of ramen and stirred it before looking back up. "I don't know. It would depend on who it was." 

A moment of silence passed over the four of you. Despite the mass chatter of the rest of the Great Hall, the quiet passed between you like a dense morning fog. 

"What about you, Taehyung?" Hobi asked. "Who's your date?" 

"Oh, uh," Taehyung squirmed in his seat. "I asked Jinjoo."

Jinjoo smiled and bit back a laugh. "And I said yes. Goodness Tae, there's no reason to be so shy." 

You caught the small way Jinjoo continued to smile, even after she returned to eating. While it came as a surprise that Taehyung and Jinjoo were going together, the two had always seemed to click in a way you didn't seem to understand. Much like you and Hoseok. 

"What about you, Y/N?" Hobi asked, turning to look at you. His large brown eyes bore into you like a hungry puppy's. "Have you found some poor soul to take you yet?"

"I, uh," you glanced between your friends. Jinjoo shot you a sympathetic look and Taehyung watched you blankly, waiting for you to continue. "I'm not going." 

Your friends all paused and three pairs of eyes looked at you with concern and pity. This is exactly what you were afraid of and you had to hold yourself back from sighing and letting your face fall in your hands.

"You don't have to have a date, you know? You can come with me and Tae," Jinjoo said, looping her arm with Taehyung's. 

"No, no," you said. "It was my choice, really. I would just drag down whoever I'm with." 

"What do you mean?" she asked. 

You turned away from Jinjoo because you felt another pair of eyes on you. Hobi was still looking at you, a small line forming between his brows as his eyes looked you up and down.

"It's not that I don't have a date. It's that I can't dance."

Your friends were silent before breaking out into laughter. "Is that really why?"

"Y/N, we've all seen you dance before. What's the big deal?" 

You were certain none of them remembered and you knew you shouldn't have let it bother you so much. You shook your head, trying to change the subject. 

vVv

It was the last party before the summer. Hufflepuff had won the House Cup for the first time in twenty years. Fire whiskey and spiked butterbeer were making the rounds. Being close to the kitchens meant that the Hufflepuffs were closest to the stash of alcohol for the professors and house elves.

"You know, it's ironic we're breaking all these rules after we won the House Cup," you said, simultaneously stuffing three bottles of Fire whiskey into your bag with an extendable charm.

"We were good all year," Jinjoo said, miniaturizing bottles and putting them into her sweatshirt pocket. You laughed and quickly zipped up your bag, careful to leave a few bottles behind so that it wouldn't be obvious that students had swiped some from the stash.

The majority of Hufflepuff House barely remembers the rest of the night. Most of the first through third years had fallen asleep or drank so much they passed out, the mid-years were barely coherent and keeping the party going, and the sixth and seventh years had either called it a night or sat in the corner pretending to keep an eye on the younger ones.

Your friends were a mix. Jinjoo had fallen asleep on Taehyung's shoulder and Taehyung pretended not to be absolutely charmed. He didn't drink, but had eaten enough that night that he might as well have been in a stupor as well. Hoseok--despite normally becoming a depressed and tired version of himself--was out on the dancefloor with the fourth and fifth years. His eyes wore dark cloaks and he looked nearly ready to collapse at any moment, yet he still stayed perfectly on beat.

"Y/N!" he called to you from the dancefloor. He held up the half full beer bottle in his hand as an invitation. "Come dance!" 

Your body stiffened. It wasn't that you didn't like dancing, it was usually just something you did on the rare occasions that you had the dorm room to yourself. Hoseok, though, dance was practically his life. He might be at Hogwarts studying magic, but before that he'd been at a fancy muggle arts school studying dance. Hoseok even took dance classes over the summer. 

It seemed somewhat stupid to worry about what Hoseok would think. He was one of your longest friends, having met on your first day of Hogwarts after you got sorted into Hufflepuff directly after him. His smile never failed to let you down and there was nothing in the world--you thought--that would ever dim the brightness Hoseok made you feel. 

Yet, much of his sun set when he drank. While he still ruled the dancefloor, you could see the chemically induced exhaustion and depression weighing under his eyes. As you approached him, he wore a small, forced smile. His hand reached out for your wrist and you felt electricity spark through you like you'd been hit with a hex. 

You started bobbing up and down like you'd watched the other kids who didn't know how to dance do. You felt awkward, all of the movement coming from your knees. You imagined that you probably looked pretty awkward too. 

Hobi, on the other hand, was moving flawlessly to the beat. Popping and locking in a way that looked fluid and clean, like a well oiled machine. His natural talent was always something you'd admired about him. Yet, you couldn't help but compare yourself with your best friend. Why did he want to dance with you when he was so good and you were just--well--bad?

Hobi let out a small, half hearted laugh. "Looks like you could use some dance lessons." His hands reached out and lightly took your hips, something he never would've been bold enough to do sober. If the small touch to your wrist was a hex, this was the Cruciatus curse. "Come on, just move your hips in time with the music."

When you failed to do so, not exactly sure what he meant by 'time', he let out a full belly laugh this time, though it was interrupted by a Butterbeer induced belch. "You really are bad. Didn't think they knew what they were talking about?"

Your body froze and your face fell. "Who didn't you think they knew what you were talking about?"

Hoseok pointed to the opposite side of the room from where you had stood earlier. "Mary and Perri. They bet me a galleon that you'd make a fool of yourself if I invited you to dance." 

At this, your heart sank. Hufflepuff--despite its value of kindness overall--still had its bullies. And they were Mary and Perri, a pair of twins who loved to torment you and flirted with Hoseok any chance they got. Normally, Hoseok was polite to them, but would generally avoid their presence. A sober Hoseok never would've made some stupid bet and told the twins that he loved your awkward little bend at the knee dance.

Knowing this wasn't the true Hoseok didn't stop your chest from constricting and the words from slicing through your chest. You wanted to cry, but more than anything wanted to get out of the party. Hoseok--even in his drunken state--paused when he noticed the pained look on your face. 

Before he could ask what was wrong or say anything else idiotic, you said, "I just remembered I have a lot of packing to do before we leave tomorrow. I'll--I'll see you in the morning."

Heading to the room you shared the rest of the fifth soon-to-be sixth years, you changed into your pajamas and threw your clothes into one of your already packed suitcases. It didn't take you long to find sleep.

vVv

You were positive that Hoseok doesn't remember that night. In fact, based upon his fuzzy recollection that he was the one who received the last few points needed to win the Cup, you knew he barely remembered anything after three pm that day.

As you came out of your thoughts, it felt like you were breaching the surface of the water. Like someone pulled you out before you could lose consciousness and drown.

"If you're really so worried about it, I bet there's like a potion or a charm or something that could make you dance better."

You paused with another scoop of mashed potatoes halfway to your mouth. You'd never considered that possibility. Leave it to Jinjoo--the smartest girl you knew outside of Ravenclaw--to so blatantly put it out there. 

"Or, I could teach you," Hoseok said, his voice holding a different quality than normal. "You don't need to do anything fancy." 

You were about to politely decline in favor of Jinjoo's idea when she spoke up. "Actually, I like that idea better. Hoseok could give you better moves than any potion." She glanced over at Taehyung and they seemed to share a moment.

"We could use the Room of Requirement too. That way no one would find us and you won't be too embarrassed."

You could hardly argue with his logic and there was something about the look in Hoseok's eyes that had you agreeing. He was one of your oldest friends, yet, you'd never seen him look at anyone with his eyes softened like they were.

"Meet me there tonight then," Hoseok said. "Just after curfew."

vVv

Casting the Disillusionment Charm, you crept down the corridor towards the Room of Requirement. You and your friends had done this many times when you wanted to hang out after curfew outside the dorms. Never once had you been caught. Still, you felt your heart racing as your turned down the correct corridor. 

Entering the Room of Requirement, you let down the charm and saw Hoseok standing near the middle of the room. The room had transformed itself into a small dance studio with mirrors along one of the walls and shiny hardwood floors. 

"Hey Y/N," Hoseok said, his heart-shaped smile not allowing your heart to slow. "Ready?" He approached you and his hand came to your wrist. His thumb running over the delicate skin of the inside of your wrist, it made you shudder. "You seem nervous."

You shook your head, denying the obvious. He didn't push you further, simply turning on some music. "Just dance," he said, beginning his own fluid movements. He played some muggle music that you'd never heard before, but you liked the beat. No matter what he did, it seemed to move perfectly to the beat of the music. 

You tried your best to follow along, moving your hips in small restricted movements. Occasionally, you tried to bring your arms into it, but would quickly drop them back to your sides when you realized you didn't know what to do with them. 

Hoseok laughed, but unlike before where his drunken laugh cut through your skin and bone, this time, it seemed to rise with the crescendo of the music. 

"You're cute," he said. "I don't need to teach you anything."

You stopped and the music stopped too. As if controlled by your thoughts and actions. Hoseok's gaze returned to the one from earlier in the cafeteria, soft but also penetrating. Like a dull knife through butter. 

"But, people make fun of me," you said, pouting. This only made Hoseok laugh again and he moved closer to you, lightly grabbing your chin and making you look up at him. His other hand lightly grabbed your wrist. You swore that the room's temperature rose.

"Who makes fun of you?" Velvet was the only way to describe his voice. 

"Mary and Perri."

"Since when do you care what they think?"

"Well, they're not the only ones."

"Mm?" Hoseok arched an eyebrow, but otherwise, his face stayed static. The emotions you could read sitting somewhere between content and provocative. 

"It was also--"

"Me?"

You felt the blood drain from your face and your whole body stiffen. When he felt you go rigid, Hoseok loosened his touch on your wrist, but didn't pull away. 

"You remember?"

"No, I don't."

"Then, how do you--?

Hoseok pointed up to his head, an amused look on his face. "I'm practicing Legilimency, remember?"

He read your mind. Jung Hoseok read your mind. Nothing made you want to crawl into a ball and disappear into a far corner of the Room of Requirement more. 

"I didn't really mean to, but your mind is so easy to walk into. You really should work on that." He winked at you and pulled you into his chest. He'd noticed the way you brought your hands to cover your face and let your hair fall in from of your cheeks. His hands wrapped around your back and held you softly. "I am sorry, Y/N. The alcohol isn't an excuse for what I said or did, even if I don't remember it. It was stupid and untrue."

You pulled your head from the warm embrace of his chest to look up at him. "I forgave you a long time ago, Hobi. I know you didn't mean it."

"So, if I tell you that I think it's cute when you dance and are a little offbeat, will you go to Yule Ball with me?"

"Aren't you going with Hye-jung?"

"There's been a change of plans."

[wish-i-wasnt-a-coward]

Everything and Nothing

Pairings: eventual LAMP, and Demus

Warnings: tattoo mention, tiny argument, food, crying, self deprecating thoughts, feeling unintelligent, and hurt/comfort. 

Word count: 1,248

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 The Prince twins sat on the floor in Remus’s room. Papers scattered around the two, a stark white against the dark green carpet. Remus furiously scribbled on another piece of paper, drawing frantically. 

He let out a dramatic groan, “I can’t get it” they complained, “yah you will” their twin replied, “you always do. Now shush I’m trying to do homework”. Remus glared at her and looked back down at the drawing. It was a broken crown tangled with briers. A cool design but not cool enough for Remus.

Each tattoo that Remus illegally had symbolized something. Their first tattoo was a small crown on their neck for their brother. There was a heart split three ways on his lower leg for their parents. As well as doodles he had done with the tattoo gun over scars to represent each incident. As well as five dots on their collar bone.  

Now Remus wanted a new one. Their world had just changed a bunch, it made sense that he would change with it. They just couldn’t decide how they wanted to change. 

Roman stretched, looking over at the frustrated boy. “Time for a break?” he asked. Remus just nodded.

Roman nudged him with his foot, “it isn’t just the tattoo is it” she observed, “somethings up, what is it”. Remus looked up at their twin with an almost unreadable expression on their face. 

There was a moment of painful silence.  

“You have a crush!!!!!” Roman screeched. “Nooooooooooooo” Remus wined burying his burning face in his hands. “Who is it, Who is it, Who is it!!!!” Roman chanted practically vibrating with excitement. 

Remus glared at her through his fingers, “none of your damn business” he said with a growl. Roman just groaned and flopped onto their lap. “Come on, I’m not gonna tell anyone… ok, I might tell Pat” he admitted, “but I can help!!!!”. 

“Were not having this decision, I would rather walk down the stairs like a normal person” Remus snapped. 

Roman sighed and sat up. “Ok, finnnneeee. But if you do ever want to talk about it I’m here” with that she scooped up her papers and walked out. 

Remus looked down at the crumpled paper in their hands. 

He looked up at the door and at the paper again. A smile formed on their face as an idea slowly came to them. He grabbed a new piece of paper and began drawing. 

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Patton’s brain was going to melt out of his ears. He didn’t get it, the chemistry homework was so gosh darn confusing. 

Of course, Logan was already done with his homework. He sat cross-legged on the floor across from Pat, working on a new chapter in his fanfiction. Roman was almost done with the writing homework. Though she was more often than not, distracted by Virgil who was draped across his lap showing him memes. 

Pat looked back down at the question. He knew that he should just skip it and go back once he was done with the worksheet. But he had only understood a few of the previous questions and he really had to do this question. 

Patton felt tears well up in his eyes, ‘nonononono, I can’t cry now. Hold it together pat.’. He stared intensely at his paper, blinking vigorously in a futile attempt to keep the tears in. 

God, he was crying over fucking homework in front of his friends, how weak was he. Why were they even friends with him? He was stupid and couldn’t just be happy and horrible at everything he did and- 

A choked sob escaped his lips, he clasped his hand over his mouth but it was too late. Every head in the room had snapped towards him at the sound. 

Virgil jumped up from his spot on Roman. He gently pulled the worksheet out of Patton’s hands and wrapped him in his arms.  

Patton stayed in Virgil’s warm embrace as he sobbed. Virgil just held him, muttering condolences and rubbing the poor boy’s back. Logan scooted across the room adding himself to the cuddle pile as subtly as he could. 

After a few minutes, Patton had calmed down considerably but remained latched onto Virgil and Logan, who weren’t going to let him go anyway. Roman set down the glass of water he had gotten for Patton and wrapped her arms around the boys.

“Would you like to talk about it Patton?” Logan softly asked from his spot in the hug. “Not right now” came a muffled reply, Roman felt his heart break a little at how raw Patton’s voice was. Whatever had caused this had another thing coming.

They sat with their arms wrapped around Patton for a few more minutes before Virgil pulled away slightly. Patton’s face was red and splotchy but gave a weak smile which did reassure Virgil a tiny bit. “Look Pat, I know you don’t want to talk about it but we’re here for you,” Virgil mumbled softly, “we want to help, and that’s much easier when we know what’s wrong”. Patton looked way, “it’s stupid, I don’t want t-” Roman cut him off, “if it made you cry it’s not stupid, and whatever you were about to say is complete bullshit, you’re not anything bad for talking about your feelings”. 

Patton sighed heavily, “I... I don’t- understand the homework or *hic* a lot of the assignments. I’ve worked really hard but- my grades are-” his eyes welled up again, “I just feel so stupid”. 

After a beat of silence, Logan reached over and pulled Patton’s face towards him, until they were eye to eye. “Look at me, Patton. You are one of the smartest people I know- don’t give me that look, you are!!” he said almost angrily as Patton blinked at him tearfully “You understand people and emotions and a million things I can’t fathom” Logan took a breath to calm his now red face “Furthermore! There are many different types of intelligence. Academic subjects are not a reflection of your actual brainpower. However, if it is causing you distress my offer to help you still stand- and before you say anything. No, it’s not annoying, I’m offering, I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t want to”. 

Patton sat, practically on Virgil’s lap, holding Romans hand, face milometers away Logan's, and just nodded his face flushed red, completely stunned. Logan nodded satisfied and let go of Patton’s face. 

“As much as I would like to stay and continue to figuratively slap some sense into Patton, my parents are expecting me home. Will you be alright if I go Pat?” Logan said, pulling himself off the floor. Patton just nodded his mind going a mile a minute. “I should probably go home too, thank you guys. I- umm, I’m sorry about your shirt V” Pat replied standing with Logan. “It’s fine Pat, nothing a wash can’t fix, have a nice walk home”. Virgil said with a smile and one last hug. 

“Would you like me to walk you home?” Logan asked, “No, I have some things to think about, but thanks Lo”, before walking off the porch Logan grabbed his arm, “I wasn’t kidding about the tutoring thing. Please text me when you're available” Patton nodded, “I will. And thanks Logan, you’re a really great friend” Logan flushed a bit at the comment but nodded and let go of the boy. 

The two split after a brief goodbye. Traveling their two separate roads home, both thinking furiously. 

[chidoroki]

Norman - 22194

March 21st is here and it’s time for yet another birthday post. I already rambled on about Emma and Ray on their special days, so now it’s finally time to complete this full-score tradition with Norman. It might not be as detailed or long as the other two, since he was absent for a good chunk of the story, but it doesn’t make him any less important! I’ll be honest now, the boy isn’t my favorite character (he doesn’t place anywhere in my top ten for this series either) so I probably missed some moments worth mentioning but I did my best to praise this child anyway!

(spoilers for the entirety of The Promised Neverland, so if you haven’t read/completed the manga yet, consider this your first warning, because I’m once again going from start to finish with this.)

Since I want to stay consistent with the other two posts, this will focus on the manga timeline, as season 2 is, well.. it’s own thing. I’ll mention some things but don’t count on much. With that, let’s go.

- He achieves a perfect score on Grace Field’s daily tests, alongside Emma and Ray.

- He is, without a doubt, the smartest kid the house has ever seen, as he passes each test flawlessly and has maintained a 300 average.

- He’s a complete strategist who is capable of achieving victory (even in something simple as tag) by observing his opponents moves and analyzing their weaknesses in order to counter.

- Knows how to pick locks. The scene from ch1 was left out but we see him doing so later on in ep02.

- Stays relatively positive and calm after learning about the truth of the farm.

- Even going as far as giving Emma a reassuring smile, which I think is impressive given the literal nightmare fuel they’ve just witnessed. 

- I’m giving him half credit for suggesting the idea of there being tracking devices, since anime has him reveal this possibility while in manga it’s Emma.

- Both of them realize what determines the shipping order and that the demons favor their brains.

- This silly panel that I love dearly.

- Made sure to do a sweep of the entire house beforehand to make sure their escape planning doesn’t get pick up on.

- Figures out that Isabella only knows the children’s locations when she checks the tracker and that it can’t identify who is who.

- Has the nerve to lie right to Isabella’s face.. not that she believes it, but still gutsy nonetheless.

- Knowing the house probably wouldn’t have any rope, it was his idea to use the spare tablecloths.

- Had a feeling that Ray would reveal the harsh reality of how dangerous it would be to escape with all the children, which turns out to be correct.

- His laugh in ep02 is so precious.

- This statement being 100% accurate.

- Manages to convince the logical Ray, who we know now has spent many years coming up with a solid, safer escape plan, to join in and assist with their crazy and reckless plan instead. Having Ray on their side also grants them many advantages.

- Absolutely hates to lose, which is a good mentality to have in a world where your life is a stake and your time is limited, which eventually leads him to consider every possible opportunity to stay ahead of his enemies throughout the remainder of the story.

- Realizes that the trackers must only send out a signal upon being broken, which we found out to be true in Ray’s one-shot chapter.

- - Him looking completely terrified in this panel.

- He managed to catch all the Grace Field kids in a game of tag even after they received advice from Ray about how to survive longer.

- The goddamn intimidating energy he gives off here is fantastic.

- Despite his body being physically weak, he manages to survive and win against Krone during their game of tag.

- Just like Ray some couple chapters ago, Norman is completely serious about this idea.

- Suspects there’s a traitor among the kids and swiftly comes up with a plan to lure them out.

- This panel of him “dead” from the first side story.

- He has a feeling the spy is Ray, so he moves up the day of the escape to catch him off guard and send him into a panic.

- Even though the anime didn’t include it, he managed to throw off Krone as well with some fake footprints to keep her off their backs.

- Was honestly considering on leaving the spy behind while the rest of them escaped, though he doesn’t seem real happy about the idea, considering the traitor is Ray.

- His plan on fishing out the spy was flawless as he finally calls Ray out by revealing that the information he gave about the ropes and where he hid them were fake locations.

- Not only was Ray the first one Norman suspected, but he caught onto him way back when Krone first came to the house. All the information Ray was feeding them helped Norman come to this conclusion as well.

- Along with Emma’s words about believing that no one in their family is truly bad, Norman refrains from cutting Ray off to allow him to become their trump card. This was a risky move itself, knowing Ray could sell both him & Emma out at any time. Norman tends to prioritize victory, so while staying alive is absolutely necessary and that could’ve been achieved without Ray (as he could’ve just used Ray then ditch him later), he still decides to make the offer as realizes that in order defeat Isabella, Ray’s full cooperation is essential.

- Realizes that it was Ray who hid Little Bunny in the first place and lead Norman and Emma to investigate the gate that night, which leads him to believe that Ray isn’t really an enemy.

- He’s also left handed. Yes, that’s important. Not only for later in the story but because we’re superior. I’m sorry y’all had to find out this way. 

- This stupid, little face he makes.

- Suspects that Ray doesn’t actually plan on escaping at all and intends to kill himself.

- Just like Emma and Ray, Norman also recognizes and understands morse code.

- Look at this precious child, not even angry after getting punched and knocked over. (because i certainly would be)

- Finds Ray’s hidden supply of oil which confirms the method for his future suicide. This also helps Norman later on when he comes up with a refined escape plan by using the fire Ray plans to start.

- Figures out Krone’s true intention about why she wants to join forces with the kids in the first place. 

- He ends up accepting Krone’s offer anyway, because despite the large risk, any information that can snag out of her would benefit them.

- You mad lad, look at you, taunting the bringer of death yet again while a smile on your face.

- And he still manages to find some strength to smile while upon death’s door.

- Not for long though, as once he’s given the chance to be alone, he finally breaks down. Having the cup overflow with water really helps demonstrate how impactful the thought of dying hit him as Norman was overcome with so many emotions that he didn’t even have the strength to hold onto the cup or his facade. It’s then he starts to feel scared and sorry for himself but away from Emma and Ray’s eyes as to not worry them.

- His entire internal monologue as he comes to terms with his unfortunate situation and flips back to his determined “I can’t lose” attitude to help everyone else escape. Also, his theme ‘22194’ hits especially hard.

- For someone with weak, physical abilities, he manages to climb the wall on his own.

- Though the cliff stopped his escape, he used that opportunity to survey the surrounding area of the entire farm to rely his findings to the duo and provide them a safer escape route.

- Completely adamant about his decision to accept his shipment in order to give the rest of his family a chance to escape. (hell, id’ be terrified right now)

- This hug that is sure to break everyone’s hearts.

- Quick to react to Emma’s last ditch effort and prevented her from slamming her already busted up leg into the ground.

- Not only did he predict that Ray would start a fire to distract Isabella and on which day, he also left behind the pen and key he received from Krone along with a new, detailed plan (which he managed to come up with in only a few hours by the way) that would allow the kids to cross over the cliff.

(post season one spoilers below. again, focusing on the manga timeline, so any new season 2 events will be mentioned sparingly.)

- Like Ray, Norman was able to figure out how the pen worked well enough to see Minerva’s message regarding B06-32.

- Since he doesn’t show up again for quite some time post-escape, there isn’t much to talk about.. but at least I can make fun of him thanks to extra pages, like how he wouldn’t have enough strength to use a bow.

- But hey, props to s2ep10 for actually giving us Norman shooting an arrow. He was pretty decent with it too, as he hit his target on the first try behind a darn smokescreen. The manga did show him holding a bow in ch161, but that’s it.

- Not relevant to the actual story at all, but his smarts certainly make anything possible.

- I’m sorry but these tiny failures of his bring me great joy.

- Though the tests at Lambda are harder than those at Grace Field, Norman still managed to get every question correct. Every single day he was there. Even when the facility manages to increase the difficulty of the tests, he continues to pass each one with flying colors.

- Since he noticed someone who’s right handed also takes the same tests he does, he makes an attempt to communicate with them via a Rubik’s cube. He waits patiently for five months until he finally gets a response from Vincent around Christmas 2046. 

- Dealt with the experiments/drugs that were forced onto him and the seizures that resulted from them.

- Even with the tight security and surveillance, he somehow acquired explosives and successfully blow up Lambda and escapes with the survivors.

- Again, not significant to the story, but seriously dude? You just fainted and yet you still get this crazy question right effortlessly?

(post time-skip)

- Contacts Lucas moments before the B06-32 shelter gets blown up and gives him the numeric code that eventually leads Emma’s group to the “Jaw of Lion.”

- Destroyed numerous mass production farms since his escape from Lambda.

- As well as save countless children from other farms and used the Paradise shelter found by Smee’s network to give them a sense of safety and taste of a normal life.

- The darn glow-up he receives, like sweet lord child, are you sure you’re still 13??

- - His cute, squishy cheeks though!

- He may look like he’s in his thirties, but still has the strength of a child. (see anime? this is how strong ray’s slap should have been!)

- Learned a great deal of demon history and gave that lengthy lesson about the demon’s genetics and how they inherit the characteristics of whatever they eat and evolve accordingly. 

- With Emma’s wish about saving everyone and lively happily still on his mind, he thought of a safe and certain method in order to create such a future for all the children raised as food.. which ends up being complete extermination of all the demons caused by a civil war. His plan also includes ending the Ratri clan as well. How cheerful.

- Are you surprised to learn that Norman getting tackled by the younger kids is my favorite panel of him?

- You weak, little bean, I’m sorry I enjoy making fun of you so much.

- Successfully forms an alliance with Lord Geelan and his clan by offering revenge on the royal family, the five regent houses, as well as the Ratri clan, thus putting Geelan in full control. In return, it would grant Norman the full release of farm children, permission to self-govern and some much needed power in terms of demon strength.

- He knows full well that the entire alliance is a lie and both parties are only using each other, though in works in his favor, as it will send the demons to destroy each other without the lose of any human lives.

- This absolute powerful panel that the anime decided “nah, we’re gonna change this too” because they’re cowards.

- Narrowed down possible locations on where to find Sonju and Mujika. Sure it was with the intention of killing our demon friends but his map was accurate.

- Survived who knows long with his seizures at level 4, and because of his severe condition, he’s completely set on following through his plan and succeeding before his time runs out.

- Seems to enjoy blowing stuff up, such as the imperial city’s bridges to send the place into a panic and trap all the citizens.

- Advised the Lambda crew on how to effectively fight against the queen by attacking relentlessly.

- Let loose a poison that causes not only normal demons to degenerate, but the royal family as well, such as the five regent heads and the queen who’s name is too long and complicated for me to ever remember, who all have the cursed blood. (at least that’s how effective it was in manga, in anime it did absolutely nothing to vylk)

- He somehow managed to learn, speak and understand the demon language, which, according to Shirai (vol16 author notes), is actually an uncommon language nowadays. (and we’ll unfortunately never know how this language actually sounds, thank anime..)

- Do I even praise him for killing a demon and well.. all this? Sure in the anime he tried killing Vylk, but old demon was fair more innocent compared to the royal family, so I have no idea.

- I will give season 2 some credit and say I prefer their take on the “right now you look like a small child, shaking with fear” panel.

- But not too much credit, as they didn’t give us the full trio hug as the manga did!

- Then again the anime did have him about to apologize to Vylk and Demon Emma for his actions, which is something, I suppose? since in ch154 he says he didn’t regret killing the queen and royals, which I guess is justified because they were the bigger problem, but oh well.

- Might have apologized to Ayshe for killing her father? Can’t be sure but that’s the unanimous consensus in the fandom right?

- Instantly comes up with counter moves and directions for the entire group upon hearing the enemies locations from Vincent during the GF raid.

- I honestly can’t look at this panel anymore and not laugh about it.. because reasons.

- He just keeps on winning. (also he looks real good here, i’ll give him that.)

- He and everyone else are skeptical about there being no “reward,” and for rightfully so.

- Upon learning that Emma is missing after everyone crossed over to the human world, they all adopt her optimistic attitude and swear to find her no matter where she might be.

- After a stressful two year search, the kids finally find Emma and Norman is so overcome with emotion that he busts out into tears of joy, despite finding out that she lost her memories due to the reward. All that matters to him is that Emma was safe and happy and he accepts her just the way she is.

And I guess.. that’s it. I’m sorry again, I know this is truly the weakest post out of the trio and I have no doubt I glanced over a whole bunch of great moments but it still had to be done! Making fun of him probably wasn’t the best thing to do on his special day either, but I assure you this child is very powerful. Who else do you know that is capable of sending an entire fandom into a panic and rage furiously by just simply showing up?

Ah ha okay, now I’m done. In all seriousness though, this lad is great and through everything he has endured, he definitely deserves to be celebrated today, so happy birthday to our boy Norman!

[annabethy]

under the mistletoe, watching the fire glow: day 5

Character A and Character B are co-workers, but they barely know each other. But they both have to work through the holidays,, percabeth

Annabeth finds herself staring out the window in front of her desk instead of doing any actual work. She’s been trying to pay attention to the glowing computer in front of her, but she’s accepted the fact that it’s not going to be happening tonight.

She’s too entranced by the snow that is falling outside. It’s a magical sight on Christmas Eve, with the colorful lights of Central Park that she can see from out the window, and the families moving around together. She’s always loved living in the city, but days like this make her fall in love with it all over again.

Her attention is brought back to inside the building as someone coughs. It brings her mood back down as she is reminded that she’s stuck here on the one night that she wants to be home. She didn’t have to work, but she was already struggling to get by and really needed the money.

She sighs, looking back at her computer. She’s not entirely sure what report she’s writing up, but she supposes she has all night to figure it out, and–

Someone coughs again, much more insistent, and she stiffens. The last thing she needs is to get sick, but the coughing persists from right behind her.

She turns in her chair slowly, eyes seeking out them out. She finds a guy she recognizes staring at her from the desk behind her, and she blinks. “Do you need something?”

His mouth drops slightly. “Uh– no.”

With that, she tries to turn back around, but then he seems to choke on his own air.

“What?”

He searches for words, but then all he can come up with is, “I’m bored.” “I’m sorry?” Annabeth is only slightly annoyed, but she is much more amused now because he’s looking at her pleadingly, but she doesn’t have the slightest clue as to what he’s asking her.

“I really don’t want to work anymore,” he says. His green eyes seem to stare into her soul, and it reminds her of the lights right outside the window in front of her. She is tempted to look back outside, to see if his eyes were brighter than the lights, but she restrains. “I get that,” she says, “but I don’t see what you want me to do.”

“Come steal snacks from the break room with me.”

“And get fired? No thanks.”

“There’s like five people here, and none of them care.”

“Do you even know me?”

He shrugs. “I know you’re least likely to kill me out of everyone here. They all have, like, kids and families so they won’t have fun. But it’s Christmas! Do you know what that means?”

“No.”

“It means we have to drink all the eggnog and get drunk, so come on.”

He doesn’t leave her much time to consider it before he’s hopping out of his chair and walking down the quiet corridors. Annabeth is smart enough to know that it’s probably not the smartest idea to get drunk at work, but if she doesn’t get caught, then she’s fine. And if she does get caught, it means she can quit this job that causes her physical pain. There’s no losing, she figures, so she gets out of her own chair, lightly chasing after him.

She catches up as he’s rounding a corner, and she looks around at the empty desks, one or two with people looking as miserable as she’s sure she looked. It’s kind of creepy working so late because the lights are all off, the only things glowing being people’s computers. It all has an eerie vibe to it, and if she wasn’t with this person she still doesn’t know the name of, she would not be caught dead walking around by herself.

He leads her into a breakroom on another floor, flicking the lights on. She blinks as her pupils adjust, and then she’s standing there as he goes to pull something out of the fridge.

He holds it up above his head like he is about to sacrifice it to the gods. “Eggnog!”

She just nods slowly. “You brought alcohol to work.”

“It’s not possible to do this job without being wasted,” he says.

“I do.”

“I’m sure your life is miserable.”

Well, he isn’t wrong.

He begins to pour the drink into two separate paper cups that she’s sure the company picked up from the dollar store. As he hands it to her, she has to say she doesn’t think she’s ever seen people drink out of paper cups. And as she sits onto the couch beside him that is pushed up against the wall, she is reminded that she still doesn’t know his name.

She takes a deep gulp of the eggnog. “What even is your name?”

“I’m not sure I should tell you. You might tell the boss I get drunk at work.”

She rolls her eyes.

“I’m Percy. Please don’t report me.”

“I’m Annabeth. I’m going to report you.”

Percy just gives her a lopsided smile, like he can sense the lie. “Seeing as you’re going to get drunk with me, I think I can report you back.”

“Hm.”

They fall into a silence just long enough for it to become awkward. While she doesn’t hate him, she still doesn’t know him either, and there is not anything she can think to say in this moment. Instead of speaking, she takes this time to look at him. His eyes are trained on something in the distance, so she gets to take in his face, his hair, his torso without judgement. She finds that she quite likes what meets her eyes.

“So,” Percy starts, turning his attention back to her. She quickly averts her eyes. She doesn’t know if he caught her staring, but he doesn’t say anything if he did. “How’s life?”

She snorts, taking another sip. “Not great.” “That’s simply not an acceptable answer. It’s Christmas, so life must be spectacular.”

“You caught me. I’m just faking my awful life. I’m secretly rich and am only speaking to a peasant like you to blend in.”

He touches over his heart. “How sweet.”

“Unlike this eggnog,” she says, lifting it to her nose like she was an eggnog connoisseur. “What did you put in this?”

“I’m not sure, to be honest. I just put enough of every drink ever so that when you blackout, you see God.”

“Oh.” She shrugs, gulping down the rest. “Sounds good.”

Percy smiles, and she suddenly feels the rush of heat down her back. She isn’t sure if it’s from the alcohol taking quick effect or something else. She holds out the cup for a refill and brings it back to her lips.

“Careful,” he says, “Drink too much and it really will knock you right out.”

“At least you’re here with me to get caught by D in the morning.”

“Serious question. Do we know what D stands for?”

“Dick?” she offers.

“Yes.”

Annabeth shakes her head fondly as she kicks off her shoes so that she can curl her socked feet underneath her. Despite the heat that has been trickling down her spine each time he gives her a look, the building is actually really cold. She shivers slightly, and Percy frowns.

“Are you cold?”

“Only a tiny bit,” she lies.

Percy sets down his drink like it was his prized possession before he pulls his sweater over his head. He doesn’t even give her time to protest before he’s chucking it at her.

“This is your jacket,” she says, tossing it back.

“I’m not cold,” he says, shoving it back to her.

“You’re seriously going to let a stranger wear your jacket?”

“We’re hardly strangers now, Annabeth. We’re best friends.”

“Oh, wow. That’s a big jump.”

“Yes, well, we’re drinking eggnog on Christmas together, so.” With that, Percy pouts his lower lip. “Please put it on?”

He looks so cute like that that she can’t resist. She gives Percy her drink to hold as she wrestles it on, and she nearly sighs in its warmth. She can still feel the body heat from Percy, and it’s surprisingly not as weird as she would’ve thought. It smells really good too, reminding her of the breeze at a beach, of a stormy night, and now, of him.

“Better?” he asks smugly.

She pulls the sleeves to over her fingers. “Shut up.”

“So, Annabeth, tell me about yourself.” He nudges her knee with his foot. “Why are you working overnight on Christmas?”

She shrugs. “Needed the money.”

“No one to go home to?”

“Other than family I’d rather not see? No.”

He gives her a sympathetic glance. “No one special?”

“You mean an extraordinarily sexy, funny, smart husband?” She laughs incredulously. “Absolutely not.”

“Today’s your lucky day! I know just the person for you. They check off all of those qualities.”

“Who?” she asks, disbelieving. “Me!”

She blows a raspberry in his face.

“Okay, I have to admit I’m not the smartest person out there, but I do think I’m not totally ugly.”

He’s not totally ugly. Quite the opposite, in Annabeth’s opinion. She’d never tell him that though.

“Worst comes to worst, you can always marry me.”

“What? You don’t think I can be one of those Hallmark characters who find the love of their life on Christmas?”

“Newsflash baby, we are those Hallmark characters. Meeting on Christmas Eve, working until Christmas day? Love story if I’ve ever seen one.”

She looks at him skeptically.

“Fine,” he says. “Let’s make one of those pacts. If we’re both still single by, I don’t know, midnight? Then we marry each other.”

She looks at the clock on her phone. “You’re giving me one hour to find the love of my life before I’m forced to resort to you?”

“Yes. That’s plenty of time.”

“Sure,” she says, laughing.

“I mean, you’re already wearing my sweater. If that doesn’t make you wife material, I don’t know what does. Besides, it wouldn’t be terrible to marry me. I know you like my body.”

The looks he’s giving her lets her know that he did see her staring at him earlier. She smacks his arm. “You asshole.”

“What?” he says defensively, rubbing his forearm.

“Why didn’t you say anything!?”

“It didn’t bother me! Besides, I think you’re, like, really attractive too!”

She leans back. “So that’s why you want to marry me in an hour? So no one swoops in and steals the love of your life?”

“Precisely.”

Annabeth quickly learns she likes talking to Percy. He’s so easy to get along with, and he’s constantly getting her to laugh so hard she can’t breathe. He’s also really sweet and selfless, and he looks amazing in the midnight haze, and as they slowly both get closer and closer to being totally wasted, it just gets better.

She has no idea how she never knew his name before now because they’re practically best friends already. She feels like she’s known him her entire life. It’s so natural and perfect, the tense feeling long gone.

At some point, Percy falls over her, squishing her into the cushions of the couch. Her drink falls somewhere out of her hand, but that’s okay because she’s already half a bottle deep, and she’d much rather hold him in her arms anyways. Her fingers trace over the lean muscles of his back as he dies of laughter in the crook of her neck. She also quickly learns that Percy’ love language is touch, especially when he’s drunk. He’s an affectionate person, which is good because he balances her out perfectly.

Percy’s weight drops completely as he gives up on holding himself up. She isn’t sure how long they spend like that, sprawled out on top of one another, but she doesn’t care. This is a carefully constructed Christmas feeling she is too scared to destroy.

At some point though, she looks down to check the time on her phone.

11:59

She pokes Percy in the neck to get him to stop chucking into the cushions, and she waits until the clock strikes twelve. When it does, she’s lacing her fingers in his hair so she can pull him up to look her in the eyes.

“Hey, pretty boy,” she giggles, “It’s twelve.”

“Merry Christmas!” he yells a bit too loudly.

She’s laughing so hard that it comes out silent, and she can’t breathe. “No!”

“Oh! You mean the whole marriage thing?”

“Yes, silly,” she says.

Percy’s head drops back to the couch cushions. “So did you find the love of your life, or do you have to settle for me?”

“I think I may have found the love of my life,” she says.

Percy whines into the couch miserably.

“I’d hardly call it settling, though,” is what she says, and Percy’s head suddenly jumps back to meet her eyes.

Percy’s eyes flicker down to her lips, and she wants it so badly. She doesn’t care that they just met because this one hour with him has been better than the past twenty years of her life spent with anyone else.

So she whispers, “You may now kiss the bride,” and Percy takes her breath away.

[whump-town]

In His Eyes

Warning: abuse, mental health, lots of talk about food and starvation, hospital, suicide attempt, suicidal ideations, cutting, and self-harm, cursing, and it’s just very dark

Listen, this might be a little much. The themes are dark and it’s far from a happy story

Main Characters Are Aaron Hotchner, Jessica Brooks, and Haley Hotchner

Probably OOC but I don’t care

His pulse is slow against her fingers but there. She calls 911, sobbing. Choking around the weight of his name on her tongue. Will they let her back this time? To hold his hand? He gets nightmares. He won’t like being alone. “He’s--He’s twenty-two,” she rasps, brushing his hair from his eyes. “This is his first year of law school.” And he’s so fucking smart. She needs them to know that. He’s kind. Always remembers her favorite foods and makes her laugh. He’s just a kid. They’re just kids and he’s the only person she’s ever loved. So, they have to help. Please, God, just help.

Final warning for themes of abuse, mental health, food, starvation, hospitals, suicide attempts, suicidal ideations, cutting, and self-harm

Word count: 9,137

For as long as Jessica Brookes has known her brother, he’s had the thin scars marring the pale, milky flesh of his arms. The first time she’d seen them, she was sixteen too old to play stupid but too afraid to call them what they were. At the time, he hadn’t been her brother. In fact, to the world, he had been no one at all. A ghost that walked the halls of their high school with his pained, sluggish movements and seemingly unseeing eyes. Sweaters dripping down his skinny frame and jeans that were made to fit someone nearly double his size. But, for what little credit it’s worth, no one had ever said a thing about him. He was no one. Nothing.

Haley had seen past all of that. Of course, she had. Haley had never loved anything whole. She drank from cracked plastic straws for fear of what would happen should she leave them behind. Thrown out, that’s what. The world has no use for a straw that can not do it’s one feasible job. Not to Haley, though. Their father used to call her Saint Haley, the patron saint of the discarded. And naturally, Haley clung to the idea of Saint Jude. Another lost soul, seemingly just like her, out there to collect others. A reminder that even the lost aren’t alone and that they may not be as lost as they think. And so how could any of them be surprised when Haley, who hung the moon and stairs, brought home her own lost being? Stumbling in clothes too large for his lithe frame and stinking of booze and cigarettes.

Aaron Hotchner has no place in their home. Jessica had been unwavering in this. Look at him. A semester ago, he’d been kicked off the track team for pot. He can’t even go out and get drunk with everyone else. He smokes cheap cigarettes out behind the Miller’s barn and, thought no one could prove it, they all blamed him for the dead birds and cat half-buried in the woods by the school. How could it not be him? With those large, trembling hands and his inability to stay away from trouble. How many fights had he been in this year? How many times had Jessica come from one of her classes to find the student body surrounding his bowed back as he sat over the hips of another boy, mercilessly beating him? So, how could that dirty boy be worth her sister? If she’d asked him, he’d answer her with the same thought Jessica knew better than to speak around Haley. He doesn’t.

So, how could any of this add up? Aaron Hotchner like a straw bent with damage has good in him too. Jessica had never seen the other boys. The way they pick and preen at him. Smacking his head and kicking at his ankles. Calling names at his back. The teachers never do a damn thing and why should they? He’s not the smartest kid in their classes. He sits in the back. Turns in mediocre work. He doesn’t get encouragement. “I know you’re capable of more than this, Aaron.” No, he gets sighs and shaking heads. So, when he takes action. Thrown to the end of his line, he is the bad guy. Because Aaron Hotchner is just the kid no one likes. His father’s name is the only thing keeping him from getting expelled. No one ever cares to see how he flinches from his father’s touch or the pain in his eyes when new bruises form across his body. Because they don’t care. But Haley. Haley cared and her love had been her one and only rebellion.

Jessica had been the sort to fall for the beauty of rebellion, not Haley. Her first boyfriend had been a biker, a senior who would break her heart. Rolling with anger at her father’s words, that she might be too young to know anything about love, had fallen head over heels for a girl in her biology class. And while she hadn’t given a thing to her senior ex-boyfriend of three months, she gave everything to that girl. Sarah Halls with her bright brown eyes and soft blonde hair. Which had effectively taken much of the heat off of Haley and Aaron. While that had not been the intended outcome, Jessica hadn’t minded taking it for his little sister. She’d found it entirely worth it when Sarah broke up with her a year and a half later. Which, to a heartbroken sixteen-year-old, had been everything. Years and years to which she could never get back. So she did what broken people do and spiraled into every self-destructive tendency she could think, that she could buy.

And Aaron had found her. Sweet Aaron with those thoughtless brown eyes and haggard discoloration over his exhausted face. She had slapped him when he first attempted to collect her. Sloppy drunk, high, and convinced that the world should just end right here. This misery she felt unmoving and forever. Despite what could be assumed about his body beneath those oversized sweaters, old and worn year-round, he is strong. While she kicked, crying, and distraught, he had lifted her into his arms and taken her. One arm under her legs and the other braced against her back. Not so much as a blink, not a frown, or scowl of pain. He had simply looked to Haley, waiting for her to direct him. Slowly, shocked by both of them, Haley had opened the car door and allowed Aaron to place Jessica in.

She’d never forget that night. The way he’d crouched on the floor in front of her bed and wiped her make-up away while Haley held her. His eyes, she discovered, were not unseeing. Darkened with his focus, she could see every thought cross through his mind. The kind, gentle strokes of the rag in his hand over her nose and across her lips. Loving.

“Aaron?”

He had startled as if expecting her to be past the point of cohesiveness. She knew, later, he hadn’t even known that she knew his name. What had she called him in the months since Haley brought him home? Had she ever really looked at him? Allowed herself to even think about learning to love him with even a fraction of the devotion Haley has? Now, those eyes darting between hers, he hums. As he often does.

Gently, slowly (with the same apprehension she’d watched Haley show each time she reached for him) Jessica places her clammy palm to his cheek. He stiffens beneath her fingertips but doesn’t avert his gaze or move to pull away. “Thank you,” she whispers, dragging her fingers against his cheeks. Here, she can see more than she needs to. The deep scar on his cheek and another that runs with his jaw. How each movement of the rag moves the sleeves on his shirt just enough to allow her a hint of what lies beneath. The skin of his wrist raised. Scarred.

She looks back at his face. Haley and Aaron may only be slightly younger than her but they seem like babies here. Now. “I’ll still kill you if you hurt my baby sister,” she whispers, closing her eyes with a smile. She hears his soft puffing laughter as if a hand in his chest squeezes his lungs tightly to stop any real noise. And she realizes she’s never heard him laugh. Real, deep, unhinged. Haley squeezes her stomach and she’s pulled back to them.

When Haley is sixteen and Aaron seventeen (Jessica nineteen and struggling through the second and last year of college), his father dies. Mopping up her tears with a coffee-stained napkin, Jessica’s attention had quickly been turned upside down. How could she waste her worries on Sociology when all she can see is Aaron's skinny little wrists and the scars on his face. The bruises up and down his back. Skeletal, sweet Aaron. She returns home as quickly as she can. Though she out-right refuses it the first time, her best friend gives her money for the bus fare. Her father could not spare her the money. She’s only in college because of a scholarship, they just have the money to spare. No matter how many times Haley called, voice thick with tears, and promising things were okay there at home could Jessica stand to believe her. So she took the money.

She arrived back to their silent quaint town on Tuesday to find Aaron had been in the hospital since Saturday. Refusing to eat or move. Restrained like an animal. She might have thrown a fit. Maybe she should have. The nurses stand at the doors of the intensive care unit and inform her that the floor has strict rules. That Haley can not come back. They don’t allow minors onto the floor but had they not broken that very rule allowing Aaron in? So, why not let the rules slip one more time? For Haley, for Aaron, unless they really want to watch that boy die. Is that what they want? And still, they declined her. Sensing the end of the nurse’s patience Jessica had pulled herself together and succumbed. Fine, yes, she’ll go back. Just her.

And there he is. Sweet Aaron. With those eyes and the bruises. The hospital gown leaves nothing to the imagination. She’s nineteen and he’s seventeen. Children. Too young for the pain of life and the coil of death. It isn’t until this moment that she realizes she loves him. There had been a time when she thought it was even crazy that she might love Haley. So, she’d been startled and hesitant with the idea of being inclined to love Haley’s future spouse. And it would not matter if Haley and Aaron broke-up today, she would still love him. As she suspects Haley would too. Because Aaron is a fighter and there’s something about him that just draws you in. Perhaps it’s the surprise he exhibits when you’re kind to him. Taken aback by gentleness and love. Never understanding how you might have come to love his thoughtfulness. Him.

“What are you doing?” The room is silent. There is no need for a heart monitor, just the IV fluids snaking into the back of his hand. Her father had told her about the doctor’s threatening an NG tube which, at seventeen, he doesn’t have the legal authority to deny. So, if this tirade of his goes on he’ll have to suffer through the procedure. But she knows not to waste her time on a speech about his actions and their consequences. Aaron isn’t stupid.

The moons of distress under his dark eyes look daunting on his handsome face. He’d grown into his body while she was away and it had made her proud to see. Her mother’s apple pies had done wonders for him. Having a steady place to come home to, even if it’s the couch in their living room, had transformed him. Now, he takes a moment to understand her. All the weight he’d put on melted right back off. “I’m tired,” he answers. It requires a breath that pulls his shoulders to his ears. His thin, pale lips parting.

She wants to scream at him. Of course, you’re tired! When was the last time you ate? The last night you slept through? But she looks back at those eyes, little mirrors filled with tears, and she leans down and kisses his forehead. It requires no thought, no hesitation to pull him to her. To wrap her arms around him. He pushes his head against her chest, face pressed into her sweater. “I’m sorry,” he whispers thickly. And with her eyes closed, she apologies too. For not coming back sooner. For not being here when they needed her.

“I know,” she answers, running her fingers through the back of his hair. He sleeps and she stays right there. He wakes a few times. Mouth too dry to speak but those dark eyes are always seeing. Always taking in every bit of information he can. She doesn’t leave. Sometimes she’s reading from textbooks. Stalking around the end of his bed with a phone in her hand, angrily speaking to whoever it is on the other end of the line. He looks up and finds her sleeping a lot. Her long legs pulled onto the chair with her and he wished he could move. Find the strength to wake her and move her to the bed.

His mother never comes. Sean calls but it’s bitter and Jessica can see how upset Aaron is getting so she hastens it’s end. Those calls stop coming when Jessica can properly defend that they only make him worse. Proof that getting better isn’t linear even though she wishes for it to be. She just wants Monday when he eats a snack and laughs at her silly joke for Wednesday to come and him still to be light. Not wrapped like a tight coil, arms around his stomach and crying in pain. But health isn’t linear and Aaron has never done anything the easy way.

Three months. For three months after his father’s death, Aaron sits in that hospital. He spends a month in the ICU and two more in general. Seeing Haley both helps and impedes. Jessica finds herself parenting the both of them. Leading Haley to show her when Aaron needs them to step in versus when it’s just best to leave him to his own devices. Because it looks cruel but he needs the silence. Slowly, he finds his feet once again but he’s fallen behind in school and if he wants to graduate on time he’ll have to spend all summer making it up.

But that wasn’t the problem with Virginia summer’s.

“Aren’t you hot?”

Wearing his signature long sleeve, Aaron goes without comment to help Roy dig the ponds up. He hasn’t spoken since being released but he didn’t speak too much before. It’s hardly noticeable to anyone but Jessica and Haley but they both have their own problems to attend to. Jessica is once again taking their heat with her larger news: she’s dropping out of college. So, Aaron’s silence has taken the back burner.

Looking down at his clothed arms, Aaron shakes his head. Continues digging.

Jessica looks up from the porch, waiting for the moment she needs to step in. Legs outstretched on the wooden swing, Jessica looks at the words on her book but takes nothing in. She’s pretending to read. Her father pushes Aaron some more. Offering a tank top or even just a white t-shirt.

“It’s too hot for all that nonsense,” Roy comments, motioning to Aaron’s worn sweater.

Before Aaron can even start doing his rapid, panicked blinking Jessica clears her throat from the porch. “Stop patronizing him, dad.”

Roy huffs but lays off.

For that exact moment, she’s the hero but she’s just a coward. Too afraid to allow the conversation on. Perhaps she should have let her father push him a little more. Make Aaron realize what he’s doing to himself. What he’s doing to all of them. Things aren’t what they used to be. He’s not alone. Can’t he see that?

No. He can’t see that. What he sees is a family he’s not a part of. Painfully reminded around every twist and turn just how alone he is. On Christmas the traditions of theirs that he stumbles over. He’s never decorated a Christmas tree or baked an apple pie. Haley does it without blinking, smiling to encourage him along but he just doesn’t know.

They change. He graduates on time and a year later she does too. With Jessica right there, always encouraging, and positive they both go to college. Haley falls for the science of psychology and Aaron falls head over heels for political science.  

For four years its as if that boy never existed. He gets a second wind. A new chance.

But the damage is there and habits are so hard to beat.

Haley comes home early from class. Tuesdays usually mean her days don’t end until nearly seven at night. She’s got study hall and a sophomore that she tutors in Chemistry. Today, the kid had canceled their appointment, and the snow forced her home. Coming in, she’d been excited to find his coat already on the rack. Eagerly she’d torn through their tiny apartment to find him. He wasn’t in the kitchen, despite that being his favorite room in the house. He seems to always be making something, perpetually hungry. The living room had his things, briefcase open, and papers a mess. He can’t seem to think in clean rooms, always has to dirty them up. Their room was barren, not even his half of the bed disturbed. Leaving the bathroom.

Knocking against the solid door, she eases the doorknob open when he doesn’t call out. “Aaron?” Something deep had ached in her chest when she saw the living room. The papers wrong or maybe his shoes discarded almost looking tripped over? Desperate. The apartment felt desolate, cold. Stepping in her breath catches in a gasp, “Aaron!” Sinking to her knees beside the tub, she pulls him up. Moving his face from where he’s so dangerously allowed it to sink into the warmth of the water. Clutched in his hand, submerged beneath the water, a single bottle of Advil.

He’d bought it only two weeks ago. She’d been there, right beside him. Budgeting has been hard and she could see the apprehension in his face when they’d stopped near the aisle. She had mistaken it for fear that they didn’t have the money to waste on something like Advil and now she can’t help but wonder if he’d wondered something else. Would Advil be painless? How fast would it be? But she’d taken his hand and squeezed it, reassuring him a bottle of Advil would be okay. He was getting headaches, bad ones. She assumed he was just too worried to admit he needed them. She hadn’t thought he was suicidal but when has she ever been able to hear the thoughts racing through his mind?

“Aaron,” she runs her knuckles across his sternum. No. No, she hadn’t thought he was suicidal but had she ever really thought he was okay? Don’t be stupid, she’d think, as she sat in the library late at night. Reading books, consuming every bit of knowledge she could obtain without ever admitting to herself that maybe, just maybe the man she’s loved since she was fifteen might be suicidal. Not Aaron who lights up rooms and loves picnics and, on more than one occasion, has woken up to climb onto the roof and watch the sunrise. But maybe he’s not in love with life enough to want to stay here. “Aaron,” she calls, her clothes as soaked as his. “Wake up, baby.”

His pulse is slow against her fingers but there. She calls 911, sobbing. Choking around the weight of his name on her tongue. Will they let her back this time? To hold his hand? He gets nightmares. He won’t like being alone. “He’s--He’s twenty-two,” she rasps, brushing his hair from his eyes. “This is his first year of law school.” And he’s so fucking smart. She needs them to know that. He’s kind. Always remembers her favorite foods and makes her laugh. He’s just a kid. They’re just kids and he’s the only person she’s ever loved. So, they have to help. Please, God, just help.

At the hospital, they give him so much medicine that she can’t even think straight. The whites of his eyes all she can see as a nurse guides Haley through what they’re doing. “It’s a seizure,” the nurse says, unwavering as she watches Aaron’s body jerk and shake. Everyone works around him but no one touches him. Simply moves things away from where he might hit them. “Tell me about him.” She puts herself between Haley and Aaron, averting Haley’s gaze so she doesn’t have to watch the staff move him. Hurt him.

Haley struggles to come up with a thing. “When we were seventeen he--he stopped eating,” Haley manages. Maybe, that will help? “He was hospitalized. He almost died.” Suddenly, all Haley wants is Jessica. Her sister to pull them out of this mess like she always does. Protecting them.

The nurse shakes her head. “No,” she clarifies. “No, tell me about him.”

About Aaron. “He loves blueberry pancakes,” she chokes, an inappropriate laugh forcing its way up. “Really loves them.” She smiles and the nurse nods, smiling too. It’s easier to think of him like this. The boy who used to climb up a tree outside her dorm to wave at her from her window. “He will make himself sick eating them.” His childhood had been so bleak, so bland. He’d known only oatmeal as a breakfast food. The first time her mother made them, he’d eaten so many he had been sick and she’d sat right by his side rubbing his back. “Still,” she adds with a shake of her head. “To this day, twenty years old and he still makes himself sick eating blueberry pancakes. Like--” she starts to cry. “Like he’s afraid you’ll take them away.”

Standing in that emergency room, Haley wonders how much of what she knows about Aaron is true.

“Has he tried to do this before?”

He wants to be a lawyer. A better man than his father putting away the bad guys and fixing the system. He’ll never graduate. No one wants a suicidal lawyer. She’s torn between morals. He’s spent the last few years fighting for this and this one silly mistake could unravel it all. Just a silly mistake. “No,” she chokes. “No, he’s not-- he’s not suicidal. He gets migraines.” She looks up from the tiled floor. “He had a migraine. That’s all. He forgot how many he took and I wasn’t there. I should have been there. He was just confused. I told him to take a bath. Really, he was just confused. That’s all.” Haley had never been good at lying.

They leave her, after that, perhaps having realized they won’t get anything from her. The truth will not come from her, not today. She ignores the tired look they give her when she asks for a note to give Aaron’s professors. So that she can get his work or maybe just make sure he’s not being too penalized. And again, as the doctor signs, he asks if Aaron’s ever done anything like this. “This--this accident.” And she knows exactly what he’s doing. Trying to guide her to the right answer. Her answer is solid. No. Never. And she leaves him to go sit with Aaron.

The nurses come in and out. Looking but never saying. They move over his body and he lets them so long as she is there. Within reach and she always is. She finds magazines and books and spends too much of her time convincing herself that if he’d meant it, she would have noticed. That everyone else is wrong. If the signs are there then it’s not that hard to notice! Fuck this cognitivie dissonance. She’s smart. She would see.

Right?

He’s just smoking more because he’s stressed out.

Normal college students struggle to balance a sleep schedule.

Aaron is always withdrawn.

He’s moody because he’s not sleeping.

These signs aren’t meant for him. They mean nothing. And she repeats it again and again until she starts to believe it. The signs don’t mean anything.

Now, she stands with her back to Aaron. Her arms crossed on her chest, finding the courage to dare them to question her. What lie will she conjure for the fresh cuts on his arm? Not even healed. Probably done last night in the bathroom with the kit he taped to the bottom of the sink. With the razors she pretends not to see wrapped in toilet paper. But she’s afraid to say something. They’ve been together for half a decade and he’s only just now started sleeping without a shirt. Only just allowed her to see his body. The cuts and the scars both from his own hand and his father’s.

But they don’t say anything. Perhaps it’s too taboo but no one says anything.

The signs mean nothing. He smokes because he always has. He’s withdrawn because he always has been. Aaron is and always has been these signs. So, he’s fine.

He’s fine.

They get married at the end of the next semester. He’s had months to recover but the body isn’t so quick to forgive. His voice is rough from where they had to intubate him for so long but the therapist all assure them that with time his voice will lose its rasp and he’ll sound like himself again. His classmates poke at him for his “time-off” and he’d prefer they think him a spoiled brat off partying than what he really is. A disaster. One misstep away from trying again.

He never voices this. He doesn’t tell the therapists or Haley.

“I want to apply to the academy.”

Marriage is not even marginally the hardest thing he’s been forced to understand. He knows what he’s doing when he makes Haley his sole beneficiary-- asides from his textbooks which he wants to go to Jessica because she’s still bitter he “wasted” himself with the bitterness of law. But marriage is easy. Giving himself is second nature. He never thinks about the little things she clings to. How he always remembers to put the seat down and cooks dinner or washes the dishes. He’s not normal.

But this sudden change of pace takes her by surprise. “The-- The academy?” At first, she thinks of films and actors and actresses. That sort of academy but bitterly, sickly she remembers how close they are to Quantico. About David Rossi & Jason Gideon, who he met two weeks ago and hasn’t stopped talking about since. There’s a flush to his face, excitement she hasn’t seen in the longest time. And she wants to say yes but she can’t be certain this isn’t some new method he’s found to hurt himself.

He nods, shoveling corn and green beans into his mouth. Happy, she realizes. He’s happy.

“It’ll be in the fall so I’d have a few more months left with the District Attorney.”

No. She wants to say no so badly. The last thing they need is a gun. As if she doesn’t already check the knives over, counting and recounting the razors he uses to shave. Convinced he’ll try again. But she can’t say no because she doesn’t have a good reason. They’re financially stable. She’s working at a school only down the street and joining the academy won’t be taxing. It’ll be a bit of a money cut but he’s not making bank with the DA anyhow. He’s too smart to fail the courses but, as twisted as she knows it is, she thinks he’ll get hung up. He’ll need a physical and have to pass psych evaluations. There’s no way they let him through. 

“Okay,” she decides, returning back to dinner. It kills her to see him smirk and celebrate while she sits certain that they won’t allow him in. There she plans what she will do to protect him of the recoil. Of what will, undoubtedly, occur. A safety net that he can fall into.

But the call comes and the cake she’d been making-- vanilla with rainbow sprinkles and blueberry pancakes cooling by it’s side-- to console him turns into a celebratory one. He’s done it. Training and evals, passed. Made records won awards. She’s got herself one hell of a federal agent.

Jessica comes down, smiling and with a bag in hand. She hates this development nearly as much as Haley but is much better at hiding it. “Look at you,” Jessica mumbles in amazement. She turns him over, fingers finding his hardened muscles through the sleeves of his sweater. Looking for something, anything to clue her in one what’s happening behind his dark eyes but all she sees is happiness and she can’t help but wonder how long that will last. “You were nothing but a scrawny kid and they’ve turned you into a man and a half.”

There it is, that half-strangled puff of laughter. He smiles, dimples, and chin, and whole face. A man, she is reminded, not that fifteen-year-old prone to drinking in the woods and getting knocked down in the halls. He quit smoking that month and Haley did too. For once, he started taking care of himself. Not as if he never had before but suddenly there were just things he did that he had never before.

He stopped cutting. Which had been harder than losing the cigarettes. She only noticed in passing and could never really pride him on the achievement. Never draw attention to it. But she’d see the scabs healing when he wrapped an arm around her bare hips. Eventually, there were no scabs. Only scars.

“I love you,” she reminds him because she’s not sure if this will last.

And his eyes always twinkle just a little when she says it. Pleasantly surprised each time. “I love you too.”

He gets posted in Seattle and as they’re preparing for the move she watches him closely. As it turns out, she’s the one afraid not him. The world seems to open up, right then, for him and selfishly she thinks about everything she’s just left behind. No, she realizes. It’s not selfish. She worries about him, he worries about her. She’s worried about herself and he worries about himself. It’s a balance and no good things come without a little give.

Seattles is okay.

She tutors a young boy with epilepsy that has fallen behind do to a spout of recent hospitalization. He reminds her so feverishly of Aaron that she naturally takes to him. His name is Sam and his hair is blonde and his eyes the same soft brown as Aaron’s. He’s smart and funny one day and sad and silent the next. The last decade she’s spent living at Aaron’s side has made her ambidextrous to this behaviour and she doesn’t blink.

Aaron spends his days folded into case files, not all that different from when they were in Virginia but he’s lighter. They both are. He doesn’t seem even bothered by the rain. Smiling each time he comes in soaked to the bone to chase her around, shaking the rain from his hair onto her.

One night, she rolls over and attaches herself to his back. She’s antsy and he’s an insomniac so she’s not too surprised when he tangles his fingers with hers over his stomach and hums to answer the question she hasn’t asked yet.  Breath ghosting over the back of his neck, she asks, “Do you still want to have kids?”

He chuckles, turning slightly so she can see the silhouette of his nose and lips as he answers her. “Mmm, ten.” Slowly, moving her legs and twisting, he faces her. So that his forehead is against hers and kisses her. “Wanna make one?” he asks teasingly, fingers skimming the skin peaking out from under her shirt. “I hear it’s pretty easy.”

She hits him but deepens the kiss, allowing her hand to slide over his hips and squeeze his butt. It makes her laugh and he just shakes his head. “I want to talk about kids,” she reminds him, breathlessly as his hand snakes up underneath her shirt to cup her bare breast. “Not ten,” she whispers, pulling his head closer as he kisses her neck. “One or two. At least one boy.” He hums and she doesn’t even need to consider if he’s listening or not because he always is. “We could adopt.”

He smiles, placing a hand on both sides of her head, completely overtop her now. She whines a little as he sits up, extracting his body from the tangle of hers. “We could foster even more,” he offers, because he’s thought about it. “Have a few, adopt a few, and be one of those sweet old couples that fosters every kid they can find.”

She squints her eyes at him reaching up and bopping his nose. “You have a savior complex,” she whispers. Which they both know isn’t true. He’s a helper, a watcher. What else would you have him do? He’s never been one to sit by. But she thinks about it. Long after that night and later that night. When she rolled over and he’d fallen asleep in a massive tangle like he always does. This man doesn’t know how to exist without creating a mess. His desk is never neat and he can’t sleep without one half of his body stuck in the sheets.

She considers having a child exactly like him. With his exact brown eyes and those dimples. Adopting one that slowly becomes a part of them. Learning there little habits. A child with hair to dark to be Aarons but too light to be hers that like dancing around the kitchen with her and has that soft, strong way of speaking that Aaron does. Kids. With him.

They aren’t compatible.

She knows she shouldn’t have pushed when the scabs come back. It’s not bad, well… The cuts are small and low in number but she knows they’re there long before she sees them. He starts to sleep in long sleeves again. She sees them when he’s in the shower. Three or four on each arm and he’s been wearing the shirts for a month so it’s not that bad. He’s certain done worse. He’s just got a lot of pressure on him at the moment.

She lets it go.

“I haven’t had my period in a while,” she says over dinner. She told herself to wait for those cuts to heal but they never do.

He chokes on his food. He hasn’t been eating a lot and she thinks he might be smoking again. Which she would point out but she might just be paranoid. Sam got sick last week, had a seizure that she had seen, and she’s a little ashamed to admit she picked it back up to soothe herself. Unsure and unable to tell Aaron about it. How could she? It had nearly scared her from the topic of children, what would it do to him.

“How--” his voice cuts off. He doesn’t mean “how”. He knows exactly how. They talked about children and have been careless. Two scared people hoping that if they pretend to not want this with every burning fiber of their beings they might get it. He can’t remember the last time he used a condom and her birthcontrol has suddenly disappeared from the bathroom sink.

“How long?”

She puts her fork down. “Three months.” They’ve been trying twice that long. “I have a test,” she tells him, trying to hide her excitement. His eyes meet hers and she reads him like her favorite book. “I could take it.” Their lonely kitchen is filled with the sound of scraping chair the two of them fumbling to move.

“Oh.”

It’s negative.

Aaron’s mouth is dry, he doesn’t know why he’s so disappointed.

“We can keep trying,” she soothes, trying not to shake or cry. Even though she wants to throw that stupid test against the wall. Tears fall down her cheek and she looks up to see his own gather.

He shakes his head.

Jessica comes down the next week and pretends not to notice the return of the long sleeves. Aaron greets her with a smile and kisses her cheek. Telling her about everything but that test. The hope so swiftly taken from them. She takes Haley to a clinic. They count her eggs and smile, assuring her that she’s young, healthy, and her eggs are in fantastic shape. She should consider herself lucky, it should be easy for her to have children.

Easy.

Clearly, they have never met her husband.

His sperm count is low. Enough that the doctor’s face falls a little as he explains their options. It’s still possible to do this on their own but they shouldn’t be ashamed if things need a little help.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

But he is ashamed and he counts out each offense on his skin.

Sam, the boy she tutored, dies shortly after they learn all of this. His little body just couldn’t take all the stress.

Haley feels selfish but she’s glad she was no where near him when it happened.

A week later, Aaron comes home, hangs his coat on the rack and sits down on the edge of the couch. “I saw David Rossi today.” His eyes are haunted by the dark circles under them. She notices them but the people in his office never seem to. They comment his quick work and sharp mind which is why Dave had been so quick to accept him. Aaron’s curiosity has always been the brightest burning part of him. “He wants me to move back to Virginia. Take some profiling courses. Join his team.”

Aaron has read everything about the Behavioral Science Unit he can get his hands on. So, by extension, she also knows a lot about them. Every time he finds something worth excitement he finds her to recount each detail. He wants this, she knows.

She’s making muffins, trying to keep her mind off of Sam. When he tells her this, what David Rossi wants from her husband she’s furious. Fuck that man. What do they care about him? They have a life here. But… they really don’t. The lease on their apartment is ending and she keeps trying to decide if she really wants to renew it. Sam is dead. Aaron has a job opportunity.

“Do you want to move back to Virginia?” she turns, to him. Pressing her hips across the oven and watching him.

He looks down at the floor. Does he? He hadn’t really considered that. Does he want to work with David Rossi? Yes, very much so. So, he nods. “I want this,” he says.

She brushes the wet dough on her hands off on the apron on her chest and moves across the kitchen to him. Placing a hand on both sides of his face, she kisses him. “Okay,” she whispers. “Then lets go.”

David immediately loves him.

I work too slowly. 

I get too attached. 

I’m only good with victims. 

I am not a good profiler.

But David sees that spark. The yearning for more, fire hissing and popping and Dave is eager to throw gasoline on him. To see him rise and consume them all. “You’re a bright kid,” Dave commends, one afternoon. They’re having dinner on the way home. Dave has no girlfriend or wife to call so he’s very content to get a little tipsy and let Aaron drive him home. Aaron is wondering what Haley’s doing, Dave thinks this is adorable. 

“Um,” Aaron can feel a deflection on his tongue but Dave covers his hand with his own.

With far too much seriousness for a tipsy man he says, “alright. You’re next lesson is acceptance, alright? I give you a compliment and you say--” Aaron just stares back at him. “You say thank you, Dave.”

He nods his head. 

Dave blinks. This goddamn kid, he swears. But he’s so enchanting, charming in his youth. Bashful but always looking, watching. Dave wants nothing more than to see him smile even more. To see him grow steady and assured in his abilities. And that it almost taken from him. A sniper in some case that feels more like a movie, something that happens to someone you’re only lightly attached to. That you gasp at but forget about in a day or two. The blood that just sprays, thick and heavy and hot. Dave’s never lost an agent. 

He’s lost men but that was war. This isn’t war. It’s just profiling. His people aren’t supposed to die and the kid-- fucking Aaron, his Aaron, almost died. 

“You must be David.”

Dave is sleeping in the room when she comes. A thin little thing with straw blonde hair and a very scorned looking face. Aaron has gone on and on about her. She’s beautiful and he can see, immediately, why Aaron’s so drawn to her. As stupid as it is, he smiles when he sees her. So tiny and yet drawn up like she’s ready for a fight. 

“That must make you Haley.”

She hums, a habit he finds cute. Humming fits Aaron well. He’s a silent man but not Haley. Aaron had told him they had been together since they were kids, high school sweet hearts. It must be a bit of Aaron’s spite she has drawn up as she walks through the room to stand at her husband’s side. Stoic. 

The worst is yet to come. 

The shot had been surprisingly clean. Aaron would need a sling and to keep his arm delicately strapped to his chest to allow his shattered clavicle to repair. He wakes two hours later, to the soft hum of Haley and Dave whispering over him. He’s not coherent and he’s in pain and falls right back to sleep the moment Haley takes his hand. A softly sighed “oh” on his lips as his eyes shut and he’s gone again. 

Dave doesn’t say anything about the scars. He knows about them. (Do you really think they’d let anybody into the FBI without making notes in files, annotations for men like David Rossi to read and re-read a dozen times as they consider allowing men like Aaron Hotchner onto their teams?) 

“Haley?” The second time he’s distraught. Panicking. He remembers the warmth of his bath, the Advil bottle in his palm. “I’m sorry,” he whispers, just as he had when he woke the first time, all those years ago. “I won’t do it again. I’m sorry.” He remembers thinking how uncomfortable he was in the tub. How he wished he had a pillow or was shorter so at least his knees could sink in. That he could see his clothes plastered to his skin. 

He mistakes her momentary confusion as disbelief and he grows agitated. Gasping in pain but twisting and pleading. “I-- I--,” his sentence is cut off by his strangled cry. He moves his hips the wrong way and his shoulder is pressed down into the mattress.

It breaks her heart just as much this time as it had last time. To see his face pinched in pain and confusion. But she is shocked in place. 

Dave stands, grabbing Aaron’s unrestrained hand. His hand wrapping completely around until his finger rest against the inside of Aaron’s wrist. His hand engulfing Aaron’s. The scars moving under his touch. “You’re okay,” Dave assures him softly. He smiles, priding Aaron when he manages to whisper Dave’s name in soft shock. He pats Aaron’s cheek, “there he is. My bright boy. How are you? You okay?”

His sense come back to him. The memories slipping into place. “Hurts,” he rasps. Gradually, his body calms and he stops kicking out against nothing. “My arm hurts,” he whispers, his eyes full of tears as he looks between them. Trusting one of them will stop it. One of them will help. 

Haley leans down and presses a kiss to his temple, brushing her fingers through his hair. “You’re okay sweetheart.” 

Sweetheart. He hums, turning into her touch. She never calls him sweetheart. 

She wipes his tears away and Dave says nothing. At that moment, she doesn’t know him to well but eventually, she’ll learn that his silence in that moment was new. Dave never shuts up. She’ll crave that silence in his company. But he’d been thinking, watching and she’d been preoccupied. He was taking in what he was seeing to stored for a later date. Though he had thought for theory not practice. How wrong he, in fact, was. 

He retires a year later. Aaron and Haley are just getting the courage to try again for a kid. 

When he returns he’s thoroughly surprised to find things haven’t entirely changed. The bits that have changed are encouraging. 

“How much do you know?” Morgan asks him one night, a little too tipsy to be having this conversation. But he’s been sitting on it for months and he’s got to know. It’s his job to protect the team and while he and Aaron always seem to butt heads, he won’t leave him out of that equation. “About… About Hotch.”

Not Aaron, anymore. He’s a whole new person. The Unit Chief, strong stoic and up until that moment Dave had even thought hidden. His little secret tucked beneath those multi-layered suits. Evidently not if Morgan knows. “Should we be discussing this?” he asks. It’s an answer within itself. If he knows they shouldn’t be discussing it then he knows about it. 

Morgan understand this. He pops a handful of nuts in his mouth, chewing them thoughtfully. “He’s important to us,” Morgan says after a long while. 

Dave nods. “He’s important to me too.”

Neither fully explains where they stand. How much any given member of the team knows. 

Spencer Reid isn’t stupid and even if he were, he’s not oblivious. He’s never seen the scars on the inside of his superior’s wrist. Never seen any of the scars for that matter. There’s still something about Hotch, nameless and without a good proper name, that Spencer cues in on. Self-destructive with control issues. They never talk about it. It’s safer that way. 

It hurts Penelope to think about for too long. She’s seen the scars but she’d known what to look for and she’d looked. Even though she knew what she would find and knew it would hurt. Though she was never made to be the silent observing type, she doesn’t mention them. But sometimes she places little goodies in his go bag so that when he finds them he’s forced to be reminded that he’s loved. 

JJ knows the signs now. She was too slow the first time. Now she wears that burden around her neck each day. There’s something so raw about Aaron Hotchner but she doesn’t think he’s suicidal, not anymore at least. Maybe in another life, at a different time. Today, tomorrow, yesterday… he’s okay. But she’ll keep vigil. She watches. 

Though Emily hates his guts when she first arrived, she’s found herself close to his side over the course of the last few months. Enough to know more about him than the others. Maybe not because he tells her but because she’s simply there and it’s hard to hide things once you allow someone else that close. 

The divorce doesn’t come by too big of a surprise. 

Neither does Haley’s reaction.

“I need to ask you to do something for me,” Haley whispers. 

JJ is rocking Henry when Will comes in with the phone and she’s honestly surprised it’s taken Haley this long to get around to her. “Haley,” she responds, wondering if Haley is out there someplace rocking Jack. “You know you don’t have to ask.” JJ and Haley had gotten along great when JJ first joined. JJ was the only girl on the team and Haley knows how Hotch can be. 

“He doesn’t mean it, honest.” Haley had defended. Referencing Hotch’s more elusive if not silent nature. 

JJ had brushed it off, “oh no. He’s a sweetheart.” And was and still is. He very well was probably the only person who didn’t give her a hard time. 

“I know Aaron isn’t taking… all of this well.” That is an understatement. He’s not doing anything drastic but starving away in his office running on caffeine and random sandwiches one of them forces him to eat isn’t thriving. “Can you just look after him? I would-- you know I would but we can’t do this--this balance if I am always there to catch him. That doesn’t change anything.”

JJ closes her eyes, leaning her face down to Henry. Allowing the soft scent of baby and lotion to soothe the anger and pain she feels swelling up. “You know I will,” she promises. “He’ll be okay, Haley. We’ll get him through this.” The call ends shortly after that. Haley asks about Henry and JJ about Jack. And the two part. It’s better that way. 

The divorce is the easy part. 

Foyet attacks and nine new scars find their way on his body and suddenly they all know that those aren’t the ones they need to worry about. 

“Emily, Em--Emily.” She’s sleeping in his guest room, curled under the warm sheets. A cat, he thinks dizzily, as she stretches and hums sleepy at him. Arching her back and stretching her back and arms out like he’s seen plenty of street cats do. The kind that aren’t bothered when you come marching through their alley. 

She winces at the light but finds him. The apprehension on his pained face and the dark, wet rag he’s holding with his left hand over his right. 

“I-- There was-- It was an accident,” he stumbles.

The wet rag she realizes is soaked in his blood. Crimson. She wakes quickly, suddenly cold. Throwing the blankets off her legs. He just stands in the doorway, leaning heavily to the side. “What did you do?” she demands, afraid to look and see. Afraid to see. She covers his hand with hers, pressing against the wound. Her mind turns this over slowly. His blood dropping in fat drops by their feet. “You have to go to the hospital.”

His eyes flash with something but she knows it’s not remorse for what he’s done. “It was on accident,” he rasps. “I’m sorry.”

She knows. “To the hospital,” she instructs, guiding him through the dark hall. He’s dazed, clearly confused. It takes her a moment to wrap his coat around his shoulder. “Hold it,” she mumbles, wrapping his fingers back around his wrist. Then she’s shoving her own feet into shoes not thinking twice about the fact that they’re both in pajamas and she in shorts. “Aaron,” she stands back up and he’s loosened his hold. The way she says his name shocks him. “Put fucking pressure on it.” 

She steers him to the car, guiding him by his hips. By the time she moves to the driver’s seat he’s pressed his head to the door’s cold window, turned a nasty grey color. “Aaron,” she shakes him roughly. Paying no mind to the wounds on his chest that haven’t healed. “Stay awake.” She’s not going to loose him like this. She hits him several more times, it’s one jarring him back to life. She knows she’s hit a few bruises and not healed places on his body but he’s slipping and he’s not going to die in her passenger seat. 

“You’re a goddamn idiot.” she seethes. They’re outside the emergency room. She’s pulling his thin grasshopper like legs out of the car, grunting when the rest of him comes with them. His head finds her shoulder and she stops, holding him there for just a second as they both collect themselves. “Are you okay?” she asks softly. The first truly kind thing she’s had to say all night. He nods. “Okay,” she pats his back. “Come on, jackass, we’ve got plenty more fighting to do.” 

They won’t let her back with him which she almost hopes causes a scene. But Hotch goes listlessly into the wheelchair and silently allows them to take him away. He doesn’t fight. Which is worse than if he’d begged them to let her come. But he goes, his bloody rag in his lap. Head tilted resting against his chest. 

She calls Morgan first. He tells her not to call anyone else. It’s two in the morning and they need the sleep. He’ll be there in twenty minutes. He’s there in ten and when he sees her sitting there he doesn’t say a word, just wraps his coat around her bare arms. They sit, shoulder-to-shoulder, neither saying anything for a long time. 

Eventually, he can’t stand the silence. “Did he do it on purpose?” Morgan asks. 

She shrugs. She doesn’t know. “He said he was sorry.” The raspy quality of her own voice surprises her. Looking down at her hands, she scratches at her nails. Frowning at the blood she pulls up. They all do things they shouldn’t. He just… It wasn’t on purpose. It wouldn’t… He wouldn’t…

“Emily Prentiss?”

She looks up, surprised to find a nurse standing there. How long have they been sitting here? Not saying a thing. Just thinking. Assuming the worst. “Yes?” She stands, suddenly too aware of how silly she must look. Her night shirt covered in blood and in shorts that show all of her legs and-- only after looking down-- does she realize she’s wearing a pair of Hotch’s shoes. 

“Mr. Hotchner is very dehydrated. We’re going to keep him here for the night. You can come back, if you’d like. He asked for you.” 

She glances back at Morgan and then at the nurse. “I want to but,” she motions to Morgan, “can we both go?” She can see the hesitation wash over the nurse. “You can ask Hotch-- Agent Hotchner. His name is Derek, Hotch won’t mind.” 

The nurse caves with a nod and motions for them to follow her. 

He’s in a section marked off by curtain. Asleep with his heavily bandaged hand curled on his chest and the other by his side. They’ve bandaged both, the left with a few bandages versus the heavy gauze of the right. He sleeps but it’s not deep no more than the shallow naps he’s been getting lately.

Emily moves to his left side and waits for the nightmare she know will grip him. 

“He didn’t… He wasn’t trying to, was he?”

Emily rubs her thumb his knuckles. “Morgan?” If he was, would he have come to get her? Would he have covered the wound himself, first? Trying to stop the blood on his own? Morgan looks up. “You can’t talk about it. Promise me, you won’t ask him about it.” That would kill him. 

Morgan stands in the corner, arms crossed on his chest. “Will you talk to him about it?”

She doesn’t want to. “Yes.” But someone has to. 

“If he does it again--”

Emily cuts him off with a scowl. “He won’t.”

Morgan breaks a little, sadden by how vehemently she believes this. “Okay,” he caves. “Okay.” 

He does. 

[goodlucktai]

Could you write prompt 88 for natsume yuujjncho?

PROMPTS LIST

88. “That’s definitely not true.” “Of course it is. I read it on Wikipedia.”

x

Tooru is being her usual, relentlessly supportive self. Takashi would appreciate it any other time.

“I really don’t want to go on a date with your coworker,” he tells her for the third time. 

“The best way to get over an unrequited love is to date for fun!” Tooru says with unfounded confidence. 

To Takashi’s knowledge, Tooru has been comfortably aromantic for as long as Takashi has known her, so he has no idea where this apparent expertise is coming from and he’s somewhat afraid to find out. 

“That’s definitely not true,” he says, attempting reason. 

“Of course it is! I read it on Wikipedia.”

Behind Tooru, Kaname is giving Takashi a look of deep sympathy. Takashi closes his eyes, fortifying himself, and says, “Tooru-- ”

“Well, okay, it was a WikiHow article. But it was really well-reasoned!” She leans forward on her elbows, looking at him with wide, earnest eyes. “If this person you like won’t give you the time of day, forget about them! Go on a date with Hideki. You’ll have fun.”

“Don’t say it like that,” Takashi says weakly. “It’s not as though I told them I’m in love with them. They didn’t reject me. I’m not… pining.”

If anything, he’s regretting bringing up his hopeless infatuation in the first place. He fully blames Katsumi and one too many drinks over dinner last night. What had been a safe, if uncomfortable, secret for the last four years has somehow become an open discussion between three of his closest friends. 

He’s deeply, exhaustively relieved he didn’t slip up and tell them who. 

Tooru frowns at him. 

“That’s another thing. Why are you so certain you’re not a total catch? I showed Hideki a picture of you and he, like, literally swooned. If you’d just tell this person you’re in love with them, they’d probably be over the moon.”

Takashi feels himself flush. Kaname is smiling at him now, gently but not without humor. He, at least, understands how strange the idea is that someone could look at him and see something worth having. Lucky for Kaname, Katsumi is both more stubborn than a mountain spirit and extremely vocal about the things he wants. 

“I have an idea,” Tooru says brightly. She stands up, rounds the table, and offers Takashi her hand. “Come with me.”

With a deep sense of dread, Takashi takes her hand, and allows himself to be tugged out of the kitchen, past the sitting room where Kaname is half-rising from his chair with the look of someone with no idea how to stop this train wreck from happening but with every intention of giving it his best shot, and up the stairs. 

She taps on the study door and slides it open. Satoru glances up from his laptop, paperwork spread across the desk beside him. He smiles when he sees who it is, shutting his computer halfway and giving them his full attention, the way he’s done since they were kids. 

He always puts his friends first. It’s one of the first things Takashi loved about him. 

“What are you two troublemakers up to?” he asks cheerfully. “Bring a new ghost home or something?”

“No ghosts today,” Tooru says. “We actually have a romance problem to solve.”

Something flickers in Satoru’s expression, but his smile doesn’t give an inch. “Oh? Do tell.”

“Takashi is in love with someone who doesn’t love him back,” she explains, to the very last person in the entire world Takashi would prefer she explained this to. “He doesn’t seem to realize that anybody would be lucky to date him. He won’t listen to me, so I figured he might listen to you.”

Satoru looks like a bird caught in wire, eyes round, body very still. “Um,” he says, aiming for a laugh and falling short, “why would he listen to me?”

“Well, you had a crush on him in high school,” Tooru says reasonably, as if she turns the world upside down on a regular basis, and it really isn’t that exciting. “So you’ll be able to tell him all his good points.”

For a second, everyone sits there and stares at each other. Takashi’s heart is beating so loud he thinks Kaname can probably hear it downstairs. Satoru is the first one to look away, hands doing the nervous fluttering they do when he’s about one minute away from a spiral. 

“Yeah, I could definitely do that,” he says, too fast, a little too quiet, “um, but maybe later? I have to finish this paper, it’s worth half my grade in sociology, and the first draft is due tonight. It’s gonna be a whole thing. Might take awhile.”

Tooru is one of the smartest people Takashi has ever had the privilege of knowing, even if she can be kind of oblivious about some things that other girls are like bloodhounds for, and he sees it when she realizes she made a big mistake. 

Her hands fly to her mouth. She’s apologizing, so fast the words break and stumble over each other, and Takashi gets the sense that this has been something of an open secret for a long time. That Satoru probably talked about it every now and then in a cheerful past-tense. That Tooru probably reasonably assumed that Takashi knew, since everyone else did. 

Satoru seems as though he’s seriously contemplating the window as a means of escape, so Takashi says, “Tooru, can we have a minute?”

She looks ready to cry, so he presses her hand. 

“It’s okay,” he says. “Really. I just need a minute.”

When she’s gone, flying back down the stairs by the sound of things, Takashi looks at Satoru. His best friend. His first friend. The first person who saw a strange transfer student who jumped at shadows and talked in whispers and decided there was something there worth knowing. The first person who took him by the hand and kept finding reasons not to let him go. 

Satoru flinches when Takashi scoots over closer to him. He looks one step shy of humiliated. 

“You had a crush on me back then?” Takashi asks gently. 

“Kind of obvious, Bakashi,” Satoru mutters. “Everybody did. I’m the only one who didn’t know better.”

There’s something unfolding inside him that hurts to be trapped inside him, pressing against the walls and corridors that make up his heart as though searching for a window or a door or a crack to sneak through, too big to be contained. 

Takashi borrows the same bravery that led him up mountains and across rivers and through fires when he was a child, and says, “I had a crush on you, too.”

Satoru’s head snaps up. He’s always been quick to cry, more emotional on a good day than Tooru and Katsumi at their very worst combined, and that hasn’t changed now that they’re in university. His mouth wobbles for a moment. 

“Oh,” he says, with the kind of wonder and defeat better suited someone who just saw a fleeting vision of everything they ever wanted. 

Takashi puts his hand on the desk, palm-up. After a beat, Satoru takes it. He always takes it. 

“I still do,” Takashi admits. 

“Oh,” Satoru says again, but this time he loses the battle not to start bawling over his homework. 

The door rattles open with force, and Kaname is there with Tooru hovering fretfully at his shoulder, and he says, “Satchan, please don’t cry, Atsushi will kill us all. Even if none of us tell him, he’ll just know. It’s okay, we still love you, Takashi still loves you.”

Satoru buries his face in his free hand, shoulders shaking. It’s really not fair for them to have ambushed him like this, and Atsushi really will be angry when he gets home from his lecture and uses his unnerving psychic powers to find out that someone made Satoru cry, but Takashi is grinning so hard it hurts. His hand wrapped tight around Satoru’s feels the same as it always has. 

“Yeah,” Takashi says, more easily than he would have thought possible even an hour ago. “I still do.”

[nothingtoseehd]

ever after high as a musical !

this is gonna probably be a bad idea, but i'm still going to roll with it.

hello hello there, so i'm a big theatre kid (i usually just say theatre kid even though i didn't really take part in musicals yet, since my school has weird plays and whatnot- sigh, but i'm still a big theatre fan) and i also like ever after high, so you know what that meanssss? crossover time!! so this is basically me just *squeezing* in songs from musicals that could fit into some events (some events are just created by me, for that extra drama). time to get started!!

defying gravity - wicked

i already explained this on my raven ask post, i will try to link it if i can, but if you don't want to find it, basically raven is 'defying gravity' (which i think is a metaphor for breaking the norm?) by not signing the book and not pledging to her destiny

popular - wicked

okay, so apple as g(a)linda and raven as elphaba. like when apple and raven found out they're roommates (mostly raven though), apple *kinda* teaches raven how to be EVIL and also popular, because i don't have the heart to remove the original point of the song

disappear - dear evan hansen

this one has two meanings for me.

one, this is basically apple's rebuttal to raven's 'not signing' thingamagingy. she's using the fact that everyone will disappear and that no one deserves that as a manipulation trick thing. i guess most people with their royal statuses would believe her and root for her side, though some people will doubt it.

two, this is raven's moment to start the

REVOLUTION

and get people who want to write their own destinies on her side. the first part of the song kinda states how they're the underdogs and how royal destinies get so much hype just because they're, you know, royalty. the song could *possibly* symbolize the fact that it was their time to rise up and speak against the signing the book shenanigans.

sincerely, me - dear evan hansen

remember the iconic true hearts day trio, hopper, briar, and cupid? they're basically this song. i made a post about them last time, and i stated there that briar would be jared, cupid would be connor, and hopper would be evan. i imagine them being asked by headmaster grimm to let him see how the play was going. andddd they performed this song as a cover-up.

non-stop - hamilton

okay i will try to explain my thought process on this

so, apple and raven are working hard to convince the other that they're wrong, so they could change their opinions

AND NOW, THE STANDOUT PART OF NON-STOP! THE END OF IT

here's my take: -Hamilton: Apple ("how lucky we are to be alive right now" could be a reference to how she argued with Raven with how they didn't disappear, to which she said 'yet') -Angelica: mostly all the Royals ("you will never be satisfied" could be something that could be used against Raven with her destiny and stuff) -Eliza: Raven ("isn't this enough" could be something relating to all of her compromises with Apple about her destiny and having a replacement villain) -Washington: Headmaster Grimm (this might be a bit of a stretch, but the "history has its eyes on you" part could be something like the future generations hating raven since she didn't play her part and now her story went poof or something) -Burr: mostly all the Rebels ("why do you assume you're the smartest in the room" could be aimed at apple just because she says everything like it's going to happen and she acts like a know-it-all (but only in this song)) -Ensemble: everyone else (the ensemble is just enjoying the drama and stuff)

hurricane - hamilton

i'd say that apple would sing this when she finally snaps and 'demands' her destiny and attention. the song is about hamilton's struggles and how he persisted through everything, and i could see apple singing about that.

world burn - mean girls the musical

dragon games evil queen. she wants to watch the world burn. that's it.

what's wrong with me - mean girls the musical

two takes on this:

-daring having existential crisis after existential crisis when he finds out he's not apple's prince charming, and he's on a downwards spiral

-i have mentioned this on my blondie ask post, but blondie realizing she's been intruding no-no business and stuff

no control - spongebob squarepants the musical

when raven didn't sign, i'd imagine the crowd just singing this because they're panicking, waiting for them to disintegrate, and since they have 'no control' over the poof-ing-ness, i think it fits

bff - spongebob squarepants the musical

i mentioned this briefly on my maddie ask post, but remember that scene in the first book in the trilogy Shannon Hale wrote? The one where Raven froze everyone because of a sudden outburst and she unfroze Maddie? yes, that one. i think maddie would try to cheer up raven with this song.

(okay before i end, i just wanna say that wicked and spongebob squarepants the musical are musicals that kind of reflect parts of the eah plot)

i think that's it, i'm too lazy to add more songs, plus i was kind of running low on musical songs i had saved, so yeah, i might do a part 2, because this was a lot of fun despite it being a hard time to write out and explain (also, side note, this post has 933 words)

[sweetestlamb]

Teenage Dream

Genre: Molasses level fluff and teenage hormones. 

Summary: What if our babies didn't have such traumatic lives and they went to the same high school? Teenage Gang-Tae falls for Mun-Yeong, the moment he sets eyes on her. He just doesn’t notice that she’s not far behind. The misadventures of a boy blindly in love. 

Gang-Tae let his best friend tow him into the their recent hangout spot, Subways, around the corner from their high school. It was always bustling with kids their age after classes were dismissed, most of his classmates came here to relax or the brainiacs would use it as a spot to continue their studying. Gang-Tae alternated between both category depending on the day, he wanted to have a high ranking to impress his mother and older brother, Sang-Tae. But studying all the time was tiring and made him stressed out about all the material he didn't know. He also wanted to impress her. The prettiest girl in their grade and probably all of Korea. Ko Mun-Yeong. He sighed thinking about her, her lustrous chin length hair perfectly curled around her beautiful face, those dark eyes framed by long lashes, her aquiline nose that made her face even more interesting and finally those rosy plush lips. She was the smartest girl in their class, quiet and confident, he read all of her short stories in the school newspaper. His recent favorite was a story she had written about a young boy who learned that bad memories could be helpful for emotional growth. All of your life experiences crafted who you are, if you only remembered the good then you wouldn't have empathy or coping devices when something went askew. She had a unique way of looking at the world and he couldn't stop the crush he had developed on her if he had a choice. She was the whole package,beauty and brains. Unfortunately, this resulted in her immense popularity, which made her unapproachable, there were barely any moments that she was without a crowd of people. Students hanging off her every word, and with the warm timber of her voice he couldn't fault them. Her voice filled all his dreams. Especially the riskier ones. He didn't mean to think of her in such a manner, tried his upmost to respect her, but in the depths of his slumber his imagination created scenarios that made him wake up tangled in moist sheets. Shaking those memories off, he joined the conversation his classmates were having around him, "We need to study for Mr. Kan's science test, if I bring home any more low grades my mom promises she will lock me up in the basement with textbooks." He groaned in agreement, he hadn't done his best on the last exam either and desperately need to do well this time around. They all agreed that this was the best course of action, opening their textbooks to the correct section. The study session went by in a blur, they took a quick break to get sandwiches as brain fuel and then went back to studying. Before, he knew it his head started to feel heavy, he jerked up, taking a big gulp of soda trying to wake himself, it was a short term fix and soon he stopped fighting and laid his head on the table. His classmates voices white noise in the background, he drifted off into a light sleep. Minutes passed by before he was shaken awake by Jae-Su, "Moon Gang-Tae! Are you sleeping? You always slack off when it's time to studying...", he groggily rubbed his sleep laden eyes and then he felt lightning rush through his body. There she was. Alone. Casually sitting, her cute nose in another book, before she checked the time and began to pack up, collecting her trash and without full awareness, he stood with her. "Where are you going? Moon Gang-Tae! We're not done studying!" Jae-Su exasperated voice shouted after him, as he haphazardly snatched all his belongs and raced after her. She hadn't noticed him yet. Peacefully crossing the street, her delicate hands gripping the straps of her book bag, he had ached so many times to offer to carry it for her, to carry her books to class for her and maybe get a smile in appreciation. If there was one thing that made her even prettier, it was her smile. She had the kind of smile that could light up a room. He would do anything if it meant seeing that smile. He stalked closely, it felt invasive following her this way without her consent, the last thing he wanted to do was made her uncomfortable. He raised his fingers through his fringe, hoping his quick nap hadn't completely ruined his hair and with a deep inhalation both for courage and necessity, he called out "Hey....excuse me... um hey." Although he had trailed her for this very purpose he still wasn't mentally prepare to meet her eyes when she turned around. Curiosity and then recognition running through them. A small smile graced her lips as she tilted her head in concession, hands now clasped in the center of her body. Wow. She is even prettier in person, up close. Look at those eyes. They are the prettiest eyes I've ever seen. I could die right now knowing I saw those ey-- "Yes?" Her voice cut through those his traitorous thoughts and he snapped back to reality. She has started to nibble on her lips, question still in her eyes and his mouth felt like a dessert, dry and brittle. He thinks of what he can say that won't scare her away, he doesn't think professing his undying love is right for their first conversation. Maybe their third. Maybe he can ask her what she thought about the school lunch today, what did kids there age even talk about? He feels like an alien in his own body, screaming at himself to say something, anything before she loses her patience and walks away. But all his months of wanting and wishing hadn't prepared him for this moment. In all his dreams, they magically got together and there was none of this overwhelming sea of awkwardness that he was currently drowning in. Say something. Anything!! "I...um I like....you...r um... I like your outfit!" He blurted out, immediately wanting to smack himself in the face, she was wearing the damn school uniform! The same uniform that thousands of other students wore, she was going to think he was a moron and walk away. He had wasted his first impression. Starting to plan his exit, he opened his lips to apologize for wasting her time, he should have just kept watching her from afar, anything was better than this humiliation. But then, she started to giggle, the most melodic soothing giggle, his eyes snapped up from their permanent spot on the ground, to see her covering her mouth with her dainty hands, soft pink nail polish this week. He couldn't believe she wasn't gone. She was here giggling. At something he said. Granted what he said was ridiculously stupid but it didn't matter because she was giggling. He made Ko Mun-Yeong giggle. He wanted to shout it from a rooftop. "Oh this?" She tugged at her uniform collar, "It's one of a kind." With a twinkle in her eye, she knocked him off his metamorphic feet. Laughter burst out from his winded lungs and she laughed with him, shifting comfortably on the heels of her feet. "I know you, I've seen you at school. Moon Gang-Tae? That's your name right?" She knew his name. He tried not to show how much she was knocking his world off balance. He was able to muster up a shaky nod in agreement. "So what did you want to say to me Moon Gang-Tae?" She inquired, checking her watch once again. "I....um....do you have to be somewhere?" He asked in return, hoping he wasn't getting in her way. "My driver, Sang-In was supposed to pick me up but he messaged saying I should just head home on my own." She responded and without a second though his mouth said, "I can walk you. It's dark, I don't ....um what anything to happen to you. I mean if you want me to, I'm using sure you can walk home on your own and..." "Okay." She cut off his rambling, turning to continue her trek as he stood frozen. "Are you coming?" She looked back over her shoulder, and he ran to catch up out of breath and not from his sprint. They walked in silence, his brain racing, disbelief that he was really walking next to her. Maybe he was still asleep in Subways? How could this be reality? He looked over and her, turning his head away when he found her eyes already on his face. Absently, he wondered if he had food on his chin or something, that would be just his luck. Casually, he wiped at his face pretending to have an itch. "Do you always walk girls home? Everyone always says you're so nice but I didn't know to this extent." She teased, making his cheeks redden in shame and pride. He didn't feel very nice right now, he was doing this for his own selfish purposes. After a long pause he broke his silence, "No. This is my first time walking someone home." He answered honestly, knowing that most boys his age had done much more than walk a girl home, but he was as his older brother Sang-Tae described a "hopeless romantic". He knew that other girls at school liked him, or at least found him attractive. He wasn't bad to look at, and he had enjoyed a growth spurt over the summer, making him taller than most boys in his grade and all of the girls. After months of convincing, the basketball coach had convinced him to join their team and that had increased his popularity overnight. But none of those girls were Ko Mun-Yeong. He was polite but never flirty, there was only one girl that had taken a hold of his heart. "Honored to be your first." He blushed at her words, his mind instantly sinking to the gutter. She looked at him as if she knew exactly what he was thinking but thankfully did not comment. Suddenly she stopped, looking up at a high rise building, he quickly realized that they were in the more affluent part of town, with modern buildings and luxury cars. He tried not to be intimidated. He failed, spectacularly. "This is me." She pointed at the sleek building. "Oh. Okay. Get inside safely." He said with a downward shift of his lips, he had hoped that this walk would never end. He hadn't garnered the courage to say anything to her during the rest of the walk. Just quick glances to confirm that she was still there and he hadn't lost his mind. She walked towards large glass doors, before turning back, "Thank you for walking me home, Moon Gang-Tae." She said, beatific smile on her face. He was too stunned to respond and then she was gone. His heart raced as he jogged home, grin on his face, he felt untouchable. Tossing his shoes and book bag at the entrance, he bounded into his house. He heard voices in the kitchen, his mom and Sang-Tae. He rushed to join them for dinner. "What's got you so happy?" His brother instantly questioned him, string bean hanging from his lips. Gang tried to tame his smile, not wanting his too perceptive brother to find out anything. He was always so embarrassing when it came to girls. "Nothing, nothing. I just had a great day." His mom turned around with a smile, "That's great sweetie, how about you go wash up and help your brother set the table?" Knocking Sang-Tae's hand that reached for another string bean. His brother always got hungriest right before they ate dinner. As he washed his hands, with soap and water, his brother swaggered in with a knowing smile on his face. "Okay, who is she?" He dropped the bar of soap at the question, putting all his focus on washing his hands. Giving it his full attention. With a war cry, his brother grabbed him and easily put him in a headlock, he wriggled trying to free himself, splashing water on his brother to counter his attack. "Tell your big brother, there are no secrets in this house!" Sang-Tae shouted ruffling his hair and he groaned at the rough treatment, until his mother's voice called out, "Boys come for dinner, stop playing in the bathroom. You would think I'm raising toddlers..." With one final twist, his brother set him free. "You'll come to me in due time, little brother. " Dinner was delicious as usual, he feigned fatigue to escape early, eager to relive the day. Thoughts of her smile filled his dreams.                     

                       <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 Nerves churned in his stomach as he nodded and hmmed to whatever Jae-Su was talking about, he had already berated him for quote, "Abandoning him like a stray animal to fend for himself." And after his fifth apology, he had ultimately tuned him out, he had bigger things to worry about. Like how he was supposed to act now? He didn't know if walking her home had changed anything? Was he allowed to say good morning to her now? Or did she want him to act the same as before, strangers who didn't acknowledge each other. He didn't want to do the wrong thing. And he couldn't ask Jae-Su, who had adamantly declared that they didn't need girls because they led to the decay of friendship. The only person he could think to ask was his brother, but he didn't want to deal with his smug smirk, You'll come to me in due time little brother. There had to be an easy way to know if a girl wanted you to say good morning to her? Maybe he could say good morning to other girls and use their reactions as a gauge for how Mun-Yeong would respond? He was so consumed in his thoughts that he didn't that the object of his thoughts was right in front of him. "Good morning Moon Gang-Tae." Tripping over nothing, he reached out to grab Jae-Su for support. She had said good morning to him. She was standing with her best friend, Seung-Jae, a quirky girl known for her eccentric style, who always had loads of buttons and stickers on her bag. Before, he could locate his tongue and answer she continued cheekily, "Do you like my outfit today too?" She turned around as if on her own personal run way and his cheeks scorched with the embarrassing memory. He groaned placing his head in his hands. Jae-Su and Seung-Jae both looked on in confusion. With a lift of her lip, she clutched her books to her chest, walking off to her class. "What was that about?" Jae-Su chased him down, as he shook his head, too bashful to explain that particular incident. The day dragged, he was itching to see her again. He wondered what she was doing right now? Definitely not thinking about the idiot who had complimented her uniform. He would never live that down. But still he smiled, it was almost as if they had an inside joke. It was safe to say that he didn't learn anything today, all of his brain capacity busy thinking about his next encounter with Mun-Yeong. Jae-Su had left as soon as school ended, leaving him by himself and he stalked the hallways hoping to accidentally run into Mun-Yeong but after the third lap he gave up, sighing in disappointment. Pushing the school doors open, he squinted his eyes as at the influx of bright light. Due to this light he didn't see the figures, a few places ahead of him. He saw her before he heard her. "I don't need you to wait with me. I would prefer to wait alone." Mun-Yeong. And she sounded.....annoyed. He walked closer, instinctively yearning to protect her from whoever was bothering her. A male voice responded, Gang-Tae vaguely recognized it, Daniel Choi, he was one year above them and the school's heart throb. He even had his own fan club, according to the flyers around school they met on Mondays and Fridays. "It's no problem, I could never leave a pretty girl like you alone on the street, who knows what creeps are out there?" He answered, magnanimously, moving further into Mun-Yeong's personal space. Gang-Tae watched her take a step back. The look in her eye reminded him of his neighbor's cat right before he scratched you for daring to pet him. "You mean like creeps who don't take no for an answer and pester girls who aren't interested, creeps like that?" Daniel laughed, humorlessly, reaching out a hand as if to grab her and Gang-Tae moved before he registered the intent, "Don't touch her." "Don't touch me." They uttered at the same time. Her eyes cut to Gang-Tae in surprise and maybe a bit of relief. Daniel yanked his hand out of his grasp, snidely looking at him, "This has nothing to do with you Moon, mind your business." He stood between them, shielding Mun-Yeong's body with his own. "She said she didn't want you to wait with her, how about you respect that and leave her alone?." He didn't know what was coming over him, he had never been in a fight before. Never even argued with anyone, but he knew in this moment he would do anything it took to maintain her safety. Daniel eyed him, annoyance clear on his face, lips snarling before he rolled his eyes and scoffed, "She's not even that hot. Not worth all this trouble." With that dig, he turned away stomping down the sidewalk until they lost sight of him. Gang-Tae took a deep breath to control his anger, before turning back to Mun-Yeong. "Are you okay?" He briefly scanned her body, she looked fine, perfect actually. Finally she spoke, "Yeah I'm fine. He was just very persistent." "I'm sorry." He apologized, wishing he could have been there sooner, whenever she needed him he wanted to be there, it felt natural to protect her almost like his body was made for it.  "Why? You didn't do anything." "I'm still sorry." She laughed breathlessly, "You really are nice, huh? Probably why you're so popular with the girls." He knew she was teasing him now, her nosed crinkled in the cutest way when she did, but he ached to ask her if she was part of that group. He would trade in all those girls for a chance with her. He was too much of a coward though so instead he said, "What are you waiting for?" She jostled her books in her hands, trying to find a comfortable position, "My driver again, he said there was traffic but he would be here soon." Wordlessly, he extended his hands, gesturing at the heavy textbooks in her hand. She looks back with a blank stare and he almost retracted his hands, but then she leaned forward, placing them in his hands. The tips of their fingers brush during the exchange and he wonders how long he could reasonably go without washing his hands. His mother would have his head. Like their walk the other night, they lapse into silence. He clutches her textbooks to his chest as if they were the finest jewels. He can faintly smell her intoxicating scent lingering on them. Then he recalled her newest story in the school paper, "Zombie Kid", he had tried showing it to Jae-Su but he had denounced it once the mother gave the child her limbs, calling it cryptic and weird. Gang-Tae thought it was brilliant, raw and thought-provoking. Like all her short stories, they had a message if you were willing to look past the surface. "I liked your story. Zombie Kid." He forced the words out, desperate not to waste a second opportunity with her. " You did? Did you get the message?" He nodded, meeting her eyes, "Love is truly what everyone wants, not just to sate their base desires." She lit up  at his answer, excitedly replying "Seung-Jae said I should have probably left out the cannibalism but I thought it served its purpose. Fairy tales should help us wake up from our sugar coated dreams and face reality."

He smiled at her, blown away by her mind. He’d never met anyone like her before.  Suddenly, a car pulled up at their feet, tires screeching and a man in a suit jumped out, "My dearest apology, Ms. Ko, I'm sorry to keep you waiting. I hope it wasn't too much of a bother." He proceeded to collect her bag, and open the car door. "Oh, but I see a friend waited with you. " He looked expectedly at Gang-Tae with clinical eyes, "This is Moon Gang-Tae. He's the nicest boy in my grade." She answered for him, he coughed choking on his own spit. Was nice a good thing? Did girls like nice boys? "Is that so? Well thank you for waiting with Ms. Ko. Would you like a ride as well?" The man offered but he shook his head in refusal, it was such a small space to occupy with Mun-Yeong, he wasn't quite ready for that. "Okay, well we need to get going. Thank you again." And Gang-Tae turned to return Mun-Yeong's textbooks, gently placing them back in her arms. "Thank you Gang-Tae, I'll see you tomorrow." She beamed up at him, hopping into the car, her uniform skirt bouncing distractedly with the movement and he watched it drive away. He smiled all the way home.                               <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3 It was their first game of the new season, coach had been putting them through the ringer, lap after lap, drills until they were sweaty messes on the ground. Gang-Tae wasn't particularly competitive, but he did enjoy the discipline and team building that came with sports. The best team was only as good as their weakest link, coached had drilled that into them, especially the first practices when they were all finding their footing. A fight had broken out because someone had been upset that the ball hadn't been passed to him, claiming that he was the better shooter. Coach Hwai had made them all run 10 extra laps, stating that they suffered as team and won as a team, they would practice until everyone was great shooters. There was literally no "I" in team. They had learned that with sweat and tears. He sat on the bench, stretching, usual nerves in his stomach but also excitement, above all he enjoyed basketball. He searched the stands looking for his brother, he had taken the day off work to watch his first game, his mother hadn't been able to do the same. But she had woken him up with favorite breakfast and a kiss on the cheek for good luck. He spotted Sang-Tae, in the back row, frantically waving at him, proud smile stretched across his face. He hadn't been able to find Mun-Yeong after classes, he had no intention of inviting her to the game, that was too much pressure but he had wanted to let her know that he wouldn't be able to wait with her today. After the first time, it had become a routine, he would wait with her for her driver, Lee Sang-In, and he would happily hold her textbooks. Most times they were silent, sometimes they would talk about their day. He was still extremely shy around her, finding himself tongue twisted at random moments. Still in disbelief that he was allowed to be this close to her. But he loved listening to her, the excitement in her voice infectious when she talked about new ideas for her short stories. How could someone so beautiful also be so smart? It just didn't seem fair. He had given up finally after looking for her for fifteen minutes, coach would have his head if he was late for the game. He sighed, hoping she made it home safely, tensing at the thought of Daniel bothering her again. With a shrill blow of the whistle, the game started with a blur of passes, dribbling and shots. He tried his best to pace himself, taking deep breathes, not wanting to get winded too soon. Suddenly, the ball was in his hands and quickly scanning the court to see if anyone was in a better position than him, seeing that no one was he took the shot. The ball easily slid through the hoop. 2 points. He pumped his fist in the air before turning with exuberant pride, needing to know if his brother saw that and that's when he met the eyes of Mun-Yeong. She was with a group of girls that he had seen at school, but her face was the only one that stood to him. Had she gotten even prettier since yesterday? She cutely waved the pompoms the school provided to everyone in the stands at him, mouthing "Wow." Her lips looked lovely forming around each letter. He didn't feel his team mates pats of congratulations and forgot to look for his brother. It was a struggle after that, he was hyper-aware of her presence and he couldn't focus. He dropped the ball so many times his teammates stopped passing it to him. It was like his first practice, all over again, nerves shooting up and down his skin, his heart beating like a drum, boom, boom, boom.  Half time was a blessing. "Okay team, we're looking good but I need to see more passing. Remember this about teamwork so use each other. But don't be afraid to take shots, you shouldn't be looking for anyone specific, everyone here is capable." He sighed in relief when he wasn't singled out, albeit prematurely, "Moon, I don't know where you are but you need to get your head back in the game. Go for a walk and come back ready." "Yes Coach." His first stop was the bathroom, to splash water on his face. He glared at himself in the mirror, pointing at his reflection, "What are you doing? This is not how we get the girl. Get it together. You can do this." Then with one last shake, he left the bathroom only to collide with Mun-Yeong. She stumbled backwards and impulsively he reached out to steady her by her shoulders, when she looked balanced he pulled his hands back, suddenly shy, he was all sweaty and gross. "So I was waiting for you outside and you didn't show up, when I came inside I heard all the noise coming from the gym and I found out you had a game. How come you didn't tell me?" She inquired, eyes glimpsing down his body, so fast he almost missed it,  she was probably disgusted by how sweaty he was. "I'm sorry. I tried to find you to tell you I couldn't wait with you. Are you okay? Did anyone bother you?" His fist clenched at the idea. She shook her head side to side, "No you worrywart I was fine on the sidewalk, I was just curious why you didn't tell me about your game. Did you not want me there?" He detected....hurt in her voice but that couldn't be right, right? "I..um.. well." He stuttered over his words scared to tell her how much he wanted her everywhere with him but how distracting she was and how much he liked her. He was saved from saying any of that by his brother bursting out from the doors, "Little brother, why are you hiding out here? The game's going to start again soon, your coach looks like he's going to pop a vei--" Sang-Tae paused noticing Mun-Yeong, looking back and forth between them. "Now who might this be? Little brother you didn't tell me you had a pretty girlf-" He ran over, clasping his hand over his brother's big mouth before he would finish that sentence. "Shut. Up." They started to push each other, his brother licking his hand to free himself, ew, he shoved him in retaliation before his brother grappled him into his signature headlock. He tapped in concession until he was freed, only to see Mun-Yeong's retreating back. "Gosh, you're so annoying." He puffed at Sang-Tae looking longingly at her back, not wanting to leave their conversation like that, he hadn't even gotten a chance to explain himself. Hadn't built up the courage to tell her his true feelings yet, he was working hours to it. Slowly. Molasses dripping in summer slow. "Hey miss, with the short hair? I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt." Sang-Tae called out, ignoring his punches, beckoning her back. She stopped. Then turned back towards them, as he shuffled awkwardly, not comfortable conversing with her around other people, much less his brother, who knew what would come out of his mouth? When she reached them, Sang-Tae offered his palm, "I'm Gang-Tae's older brother, Moon Sang-Tae and you are...?" She politely shook his hand with a sweet smile, "I'm Ko Mun-Yeong." "Are you two just friends or..." He mischievously glanced between them, his eyebrow wriggling up and down.  "Can you stop? This is why I don't introduce you to anyone." He grumbled, shooting apologetic glances at Mun-Yeong. I'm so sorry my brother is an idiot, please don't stop talking to me.  "We're friends, your brother has a knack for showing up right when I need him, some would say it's destiny." Nose crinkle. She was teasing again. Sang-Tae looked at him with mock awe, "Oh helping ladies in distress huh? I'll take credit for that little brother, you clearly learned that from me." Then one of his team mates slammed the gym doors open, calling his name, there was two minutes until the second half started. Half time over and he didn't feel any more prepared to be back on the court. He started to walk away, unsure of what to say to Mun-Yeong, so instead choosing to run, but his brother had other plans in mind. He grabbed his jersey, bodily yanking him back. "Now miss Mun-Yeong, are you superstitious? Little brother here looks like he could use some luck, he seems a bit distracted. Would you be willing to help him out this time?" He watched her head tilt inquisitively before she answered, "Sure, how can I help him?" "Well, of course a good luck kiss." Gang-Tae felt his brain go offline, shut down. There was no way his brother had actually said what he thought he heard. Sang-Tae was not that crazy. He must have heard wrong. "He's just joking", he smacked his brother, hard, in the stomach, "He has a sick sense of humor, I'll just be going, I'll see you both aft--" "Okay, if you think it'll help." She answered resolutely, calmly approaching him, catching his wrist in her small hand. He held in a gasp. His eyes fixated on her lips, the same lips that had starred in his dreams. He’s never kissed anyone before, but thoughts of doing that with her kept him wake at nights, tossing and turning. At one low point, he had even considered kisses his damn pillow to have some sort of practice for the real thing. 

He couldn’t breathe, it was like all the air had been sucked from the room and his vision blurred until all he could see were her lips. Moving closer, she lifted herself on the tips of her toes, looking like a real ballerina in her black ballet slippers. Her hands taking a hold of his shaking shoulders for balance, and finally soft as a butterfly’s wing, her lips met his cheek. She pressed a little bit harder and with a mwah, it was over. 

Words escaped him. 

“I hope that was enough luck.” With that those final words and a wave, she sauntered away. 

He let out the breath he had been holding in, touching his warm cheek, before turning to his brother in shock and pure jubilation, and did he already say shock? 

“See little brother, I told you all you needed to do was come to me. She seems nice, make sure to keep being a gentle man, impress her.” Sang-Tae clapped him hard on the back, before dragging him back into the court, his legs felt like they jelly.  

They lost the game. He really didn’t care. 

                                                 <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Mun-Yeong hadn’t come to school today, it was her birthday and as usual she was missing. He hoped that meant she had plans with her parents, everyone knew about her parents, her father was a renowned architect known for his amazing skyscrapers in the heart of Seoul and her mother was a famed mystery writer, consistently on the bestseller’s list. Clearly, she had inherited her mother’s passion for words, her own short stories were read by everyone in the school. 

He was sure that her birthday was a huge spectacle in her house, with a banquet of food and gifts that spilled to the floor, she always came in the day after with a new trinket. Gold earrings, a ruby hair pin that made her hair look glossier than normal, designer boots, obviously all birthday gifts. 

That knowledge made him wilt in chagrin as he thought of the measly gift he had gotten for her, when he had mentioned it was her birthday to Sang-Tae he had all but dragged him out the house to purchase a gift for her. “You can’t not get her a gift, haven’t you ever courted a lady before?”  He blushed recalling, the answer was clear, he had never courted anyone and Mun-Yeong was not just anyone, she was perfection.  It was intimidating to say the least. He also wasn’t completely sure what they were? After the kiss incident, they had continued on as normal. 

Greetings in the hallways when they crossed paths, he had started walking her to her class in the morning, happily carrying her books and helping her store them in her homeroom locker. The first time he had felt everyone’s eyes on him in the classroom, as if their presence had paused all conversations in the room. Whispers erupting, “Oh my god are they dating?” “She has never let anyone carry her books before!” “Didn’t she turn down Daniel Choi?” 

Mun-Yeong had acted on as if she didn’t hear the gossip surging around her, instead placing a warm hand on his cheek, thanking him for his help. She sent him off with a honeyed smile, “Thank you. I’ll see you later?” 

He nodded. Walking away, touching his cheek in wonder, again. 

Then it became a routine. He would show up early, waiting for her and carry her books to class, savoring her little touches of gratitude. A warm hand on his cheek, syrupy sweet smiles, eating it all up like he was starved for affection. 

But maybe that’s how friends behaved when they were of opposite sexes, he’d never had a female friend besides Nam Ju-Ri but that was different they barely spoke, he would just find her staring at him at odd times. He didn’t think too much about why. 

Whenever he thought of Mun-Yeong touching others the way she did with him, the urge to punch something came over him. Preferably whoever else was getting her attention. But he never saw her with other boys. Despite all the attention she received, she seemed ignorant to their interest. 

As he caught sight of Seung-Jae he snapped out of his thoughts, he needed to ask her a favor. She was on the phone has he approached her, voice soft but audible, “I’m sorry, do you want me to come over? I can be there in ten minutes..” She trailed off as she turned around to find him standing there. Her eyes lit up as if she had just conjured an extraordinary idea. “You know what, let me call you back. Destiny just showed up.” 

His face twisted in confusion at her words, but he didn’t question her, still thinking of the favor he needed to ask. 

“Moon Gang-Tae, what a pleasant surprise, do you know that today is a very special day?”

Great, they were already on the right track. 

“Yes, I know. I wanted to ask you a favor actually.” 

He had gotten closer to Seung-Jae as a result of hanging out with Mun-Yeong, she was nice and fiercely loyal to her friend. He was happy that Mun-Yeong had a friend like that, at times her other “friends” didn’t seem completely genuine. 

“A favor? What favor? I have something I want to ask you too.” 

She swung her arms, inquisitive look on her round face. 

He clumsily reached into his back, pulling out a box that was wrapped with shiny paper and a simple silver bow. It was thin and rectangular in shape. 

He handed it to Seung-Jae, “Can you...um if you don’t mind, can you give this to Mun-Yeong? It’s nothing special but I wanted to give her a gift.” He mumbled under his breath.

Seung-Jae slowly took the box, surveying it with spacious eyes, illustrating why Mun-Yeong’s playful nickname for her was Bambi. 

“I want to counter your favor with a different favor. Can you bring this to Mun-Yeong yourself?”

He stood silently, perplexed by her question. Why would he do that? He’s never been inside Mun-Yeong’s house, the few times her driver didn’t show up and he walked her home, he had simply done that, walked her home. He would stutter out a quick goodbye and be on his way. 

“You really don’t know huh?” She looked at him like he was the stupidest person on earth before sighing and whispering under her breath, “This guy is really something else.” 

This was hands down the most confounding discussion he had never had. 

“Just take it to her yourself, trust me.” She pushed the box back into his hands, rolling her eyes at him before striding off, “Don’t just stand there. Bring it to her, now.” 

That was how he found himself at the sleek building, twisting his fingers, he didn’t even know how to get to Mun-Yeong. With trepidation, he finally entered going to the front desk, he had never been in a place this fancy. 

“Good afternoon sir, how may I help you?”

“Um...I..um..well.” He floundered over his words, cursing Seung-Jae for placing him in this predicament. Until he got a savior in the form of a snappy, loud driver. 

A strong hand landed on his shoulder and with a jolt, he twisted around, to the calculating eyes of Mun-Yeong’s personal driver, Mr. Lee. 

“Moon Gang-Tae was it? What are you doing here?” 

He felt minuscule under the intense gaze and it took all of his fortitude, not to look away, it felt like a test he couldn’t afford to fail. 

“I am...um I came to bring Mun-Yeong a birthday gift. I know today is her birthday.” 

Mr. Lee’s hand tightened on his shoulder, he quietly winced in pain and then the hand was gone. And he was rewarded with a slight curve of the lip, it was too small to call a smile but it was on its way. 

“Is that so? Okay.” Mr. Lee then turned to the smiling worker at the front desk, and within second he was given a name tag that he carefully placed on his uniform shirt. Moon Gang-Tae. He was informed to go to the sixtieth floor, only one elevator took you there. 

“Don’t hurt her.” Mr. Lee said with iron in his voice, and his steps echoed on the marble floor as he stomped away. 

Gang-Tae stood speechless at his words, hurt her. He would never dream of it. He didn’t have the capacity to even think of hurting her. He was counting the seconds until she decided this friendship was no longer worth her precious time, on that day he would know pain like no other. But him hurt her, inconceivable. 

He shuffled outside the glamorous door, it looked more expensive than everything in his own home. He knew that Mun-Yeong came from wealth, but to see it so visibly was daunting. 

With his heart in his throat, he brought his shivering fist up, curled his fingers and knocked. First softly and when that went unanswered he knocked harder. 

He heard movement behind the door and then she appeared. Looking like a fallen angel in all black, she donned a short black dress with long sleeves and a short pleated shirt, gold buttons shined remarkably on her chest. On her creamy long legs were knee-high socks, his brain stopped and then reset at the sight. 

“Gang-Tae? What are you doing here?” She pulled him in the lavish space, all smooth marble and hard wood. Everything was neat and organized, it looked like something out of an architectural design magazine. 

She looked up at him with dewy eyes and that’s when he noticed the slight red that rimmed them as well. She had been crying and on her birthday, why? That was unacceptable. 

Instinctively he reached out with sure hands, brushing against her eyes, “You’ve been crying? Are you okay?” He yearned to draw her into his arms and fight whoever had made her cry on this special day. 

Her head descended as she rubbed at her eyes, before looking back with a joker smile, only the corners of her mouth moved, “I’m fine. Just had something in my eye.” The lie settled in the air and he allowed her this moment of dishonesty. Sometimes it was hard for him to put his true feelings into words too. Pushing her wouldn’t yield the desired outcome. 

“Anyway, what are you doing here? Did you come to check on me? How did you even get in? I haven’t added you to the guest list yet.”

Yet.  She had plans to add him to some exclusive list, he straightened up in satisfaction. 

“Happy Birthday Mun-Yeong, I brought you a gift.” He pulled the box from where he had it hidden in his pocket, looking away as he pressed it into her hands. 

She gasped, looking between him and the box, unraveling the box and lifting the cover. If he had been looking at her, he would have seen the tears that filled in her eyes, the soft o that formed on her lips, the way her body melted as she saw his present. 

Unfortunately he missed all that. 

On a plush bedding, laid a gold pen, besotted with small diamonds, on the very top sat a larger diamond that sparkled with the natural light that filtered into the room, as she turned it over, her own named stared back at her in looping letters, Ko Mun-Yeong. 

Her silence was unsettling. 

“I know it’s not much....but when I saw it I thought of you. You write such beautiful words, I thought it was..fitting that you have a worthy pen.” 

Silence continued. 

Until there was a whimper and suddenly he had an armful of crying Mun-Yeong. He stood paralyzed as she clutched to him, fingers twisting in his uniform shirt, her tears wet on his chest. Delicately, he brought his arms up to encompass her, trembling fingers on her back and she grounded in closer and that broke his resolve, he wrapped her up tightly, ever so carefully stroking her hair. 

His own heart felt shattered as he felt her break apart in his arms. 

“It’s okay. Don’t cry. Everything is going to be okay.” 

He uttered those words to her, they were lies even to his ears. He was not okay. He needed a minute for his brain to catch up with everything that was occurring. But his drive to protect her overrode his drive to protect himself. 

She tearfully started to talk, “Every year, they tell me they’ll be here. That we’ll eat together as a family, I get so excited. Everyone thinks it’s great having rich parents, but I never see them. I spend all my time alone in this huge apartment, the only person I ever eat with is Sang-In. Then the day after gifts show up, pretty empty gifts that mean nothing to me. I just want...”

The sentence is left incomplete, but the rest is clear, want my parents. I just want love. Zombie Kid becomes clearer. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”  He lets her cry into his shirt, until her whimpers peter off. She doesn’t leave his arms, but he feels her head lifting and he glances down to meet her gaze. 

“Gosh, I’m so sorry I cried all over you.” 

“I didn’t mind, I’m glad I was here to be your tissue.” He means it with all his heart. 

She lets out a wet laugh, “You are the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met.” 

You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met. One day he’ll say it out loud. 

“I’m relieved my awful gift didn’t make you cry, my brother always says I’m a horrible gift giver.” He reaches back to scratch his neck nervously. 

She looks back down at the pen with wonder-filled eyes, “I love it. It’s the best gift I’ve ever received, every time I write I’ll think of you.” 

Their eyes meets and its as if there is a gravitational pull, she grabs his shoulders and he finds himself leaning down bridging the gap between them, their lips inching closer and closer together, his heart thumping out of his chest, he’s sure she can hear it. She licks her delectable lips, now millimetres away and then his stomach grumbles loudly. The sound loud enough to smack them out of the moment, he violently blushes, wishing that he would sink into the ground. 

Her light giggle permeates the air and as he watches the joy on her face, his shame fades, he would be the butt of every joke if it meant seeing her smile. 

                            <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

He hadn’t expected her to agree, actually hadn’t even meant to ask her, but as usual when around her his brain wasn’t able to function properly. That’s how he found himself inviting her for dinner at his house. Her enthusiasm was unanticipated therefore he knew that he couldn’t rescind the invitation after seeing her elation.  

Alas, they got on a bus and ventured off to his house, he was too terrified of her driver to accept her offer to have him drive them, and once she had put on heeled boots he knew he wouldn’t let her walk the distance. 

Her beauty did not go unnoticed on the bus ride, several times he found himself seething at random men who deemed it appropriate to devour her with their eyes. He didn’t notice her knowing smile as he had placed his body directly behind her, shielding her from their hunger gaze. 

It was with a huge sigh of relief that they finally exited the bus and made the quick walk to his humble abode. Their fingers brushing, the temptation to clasp her hand in his was astronomical. But he fought it off, too much of a coward for something so bold and revealing. 

His house was nothing compared to her luxurious apartment but still her first words were, “It’s lovely.” And his... fondness grew, if that was even possible. 

They both removed their shoes at the door, and his mother’s voice shouted out at the familiar sound, “You’re home a bit late, we were just about to start eating without you.”

He’d thought of calling ahead and asking threatening Sang-Tae to be on his best behavior, he knew they would both make a big deal about this, he’d never brought a girl home before, and never thought his first would be the girl of his dreams but his life was out of control lately. But he’d gotten distracted by the creeps on the bus and defending Mun-Yeong had taken priority. 

“Hi mom, actually.... um I have a...guest.” 

“Oh, is it Jae-Su? Come on in sweetie, I made more than enough food, he can join us.” 

Then he heard Sang-Tae join in, “No, tell him to go eat at his house. He’s always here, doesn’t he have his own family? Little punk.” 

He heard his mother’s resounding smack and Sang-Tae’s answering cry of pain and he walked further into his house, Mun-Yeong following closely behind with folded hands in front of her. He’d never seen her nervous before. 

All of  a sudden, her hand grabbed onto his arm, stalling his progression. He looked at her in question, watching as she nervously fixed her already faultless hair, “How do I look? Do I look okay?” 

She couldn’t be serious. He searched her face for the joke but found nothing but earnest honesty. That took his head for a spin, she didn’t know she was perfect. Wow. 

“You look pretty.” He found himself saying exactly what was on his mind for once, and was instantly glad about his decision, she rewarded him with the most brilliant smile, he desperately hopelessly wanted to kiss it and see if it tasted as mouthwatering as it looked. 

“Listen, it’s not that I don’t like you but you gotta eat at your house.....”  Sang-Tae’s voice trailed off as he rounded the corner and his eyes landed on them, then settling on just Mun-Yeong, his eyes widening in shock and then mischief. Gang-Tae mentally groaned. 

“Brother you brought your pretty...lady friend! How wonderful! Why didn’t you say so? She is always welcome here, come in, come in. Don’t spend all evening in the doorway.” He watched as his brother took Mun-Yeong by her shoulder, guiding her into the house, excitement bubbling in his voice. 

He followed behind them. 

Dinner was loud as usual with his family, he was scared that she would feel overwhelmed but after a few wide-eyed stares she joined the ruckus. Answering all of Sang-Tae’s ludicrous questions and politely complimenting his mother’s cooking, causing her to blush and wave it off.  With a heavy heart he realized that the most important people in his life were all in this room. He blinked away the happy tears that gathered in his eyes as he slurped his noodles. 

“So Mun-Yeong, you look beautiful today.” His mother gestured at her outfit, “Is it a special occasion? Or..”  She nodded and quietly stated, “Yes. Today is my birthday.” 

Gang-Tae watched more questions wash over his family’s face. Why was she spending it here with them? Why wasn’t she with her family? But with a quick slap of his hand on the table, he got their attention and firmly shook his head, no. They understood. 

“Well, thank you for joining us on such a special day. We should sing for you.”

His mother found some candles in a drawer and they stuck it in a cupcake, with only the soft glow from the candle, they sang for her, all ignoring the wetness that swam in her eyes.  Happy birthday to you. 

He waited with her outside, an old jacket of his wrapped around her slender figure, he’d noticed her shivering and shed the jacket immediately to give to her, ignoring her arguments. Lifting her hand and placing it on his stomach, “It’s okay I run hot.” Her fingers had trembled at bit on his stomach, sudden heat in her eyes as well before she drew her fingers back. 

Mr. Lee had sounded surprised that she was not home but had agreed to come collect her. 

The wind blew as they waited for him, sitting on the steps at the entrance of his house. She looked so small swimming in his jacket. His eyes darkened with desire seeing her wrapped up in him. 

“Usually, I spend my birthday alone, ignoring Sang-In and Seung-Jae because I want to believe my parents are going to show up. It’s always so shitty, but today, it wasn’t shitty at all. That’s thanks to you. You always show up when I need you.” 

He tried to decipher the emotion brimming in her eyes, but couldn’t quite place them, he had to be projecting, it was impossible that she was looking at him, the way he looked at her. His brain and his heart warred, screaming opposite messages rendering him lost. 

Then in the blink of an eye, he was found. 

Easily closing the distance between them, her lips found his, a soft press, skin against skin, time slowed down and all he could hear was their staggered breathing. He felt his body move on auto pilot, his hand reaching out to cradle her head, deepening the kiss, her mouth slide open and his tongue slithered in. Her taste exploded on his taste buds and he was eager for more. Her hands sunk into his thick hair, tugging softly, bursts of pain shot through his scalp and he moaned in pleasure. She crawled into his lap and he held on for dear life, pulling her back when she shifted away, lifting her easily and swallowing her gasp. 

They pulled apart with puffy wet lips, the desire in her eyes hitting him like a tidal wave. 

“Where did you learn to kiss like that? How many girls are you saving?” She panted out teasingly, but he could hear an edge of truth in her voice, he blushed both at her inquiry and how unbelievably sexy she sounded. 

“No one. Just you. It’s always been just you.” 

“Good.” And he was pulled into another mind-melting kiss. 

                     <3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3<3

Suspended. For a week. Principal Oh had scolded him until his ears were scarlet, he’d sat squirming as the man berated him for using his fists instead of his words. His mother was not going to be happy with him, his grades were subpar at most, Mun-Yeong had tried tutoring him but they often got..distracted and most session would end with someone’s tongue in the other’s mouth. It was the absolute best. 

Jae-Su had also not been happy with him, “You’re my best friend what I am going to do without you for a week? Why did you have to punch him? What’s wrong with you lately?”

He hadn’t meant to really, it was like his body went primal and when he came back he was smashing in Daniel’s pompous face. He’d stayed late for practice, Mun-Yeong seeing him off with a warm kiss and “Have a good practice” and he still wasn’t used to that, the fact that he got to have that. Her kisses and her hugs and her smiles. They were all gifts and somehow he’d been lucky enough to be on the receiving end of those precious things. 

That’s when he had heard the voice, “You know she’s just trying to make me jealous right? There’s no way she’d choose you over me, girls like her they enjoy the chase.” The smarmy voice invaded his ears and he walked around him, pushing back his angry and insecurity. He, himself had thought similar ideas before, wondered what a girl like her could see in a guy like him? But she was steadfast, always quick to praise him and tell him what a great boyfriend he was, how happy he made her.  Soon, her words soaked into his skin and he started to believe her. He clung to that now. 

“Or maybe she likes slumming it, has some weird fantasy about being with someone beneath her. Bet she likes it roug--” And he never got to finish that disgusting sentence because Gang-Tae’s fist interrupted, slamming hard into his mouth, Daniel grabbed his face in shocked pain and suddenly they were wrestling limps on the ground. Coach had been the one to break them up, all of his basketball teammates looking on in awe, in pure disbelief at the participants of the fight. 

He sighed at the memory, it wasn’t his proudest moment, he was of the mindset that fighting didn’t solve anything but damn it had felt good to knock the smug smile off that bastard’s face. He could eat shit in the nicest way possible. 

However, now with time process, he was definitely second guessing his sporadic decision, how would Mun-Yeong feel about his fighting? She had mentioned on many occasions that she hated men who acted like women were a prize to be fought over, that’s why she loved how calm and rational he was. He groaned. 

He was so lost in his thoughts, that he missed the knock at his door. Then he jumped as it turned to pounding. He dropped the towel filled with ice that he was using to ice his knuckles and went to the door, cautiously pulling it open. 

Mun-Yeong instantly pushed her way in, speedily removing her shoes, before taking his hand and dragging him into his living room. She shoved him into the couch before plopping next to him. 

The stark anger on her pretty face shifted to worry when she saw the various bruises on his face, his lip was busted and he had a cut next to his right eye. it stung a little but he had carefully cleaned it when he got home, employing all the first aid techniques his mother had taught him. 

“I heard you got suspended! What happened? Why didn’t you call me right away? Who were you fighting? Are you crazy?” She fired off question after question, voice raising in octave after each other and he placed a finger on her lips to stop the diatribe of words. 

“I can’t answer your questions, if you keep asking me new ones.” 

She scoffed crossing her arms but quieted down, looking at him expectedly, okay go ahead, explain. 

“Well as you heard I got into a fight. I’m not proud of that but he had it coming, I would do it again.” He answered with conviction, her eyebrows lifted in surprise at his eyes. 

“What were you fighting about?”

The one question he didn’t want to answer. He loathed the idea of being another neanderthal in her eyes, someone who couldn’t control themselves and lashed out like a child. That wasn’t who he was, but his actions today said otherwise. The last thing he wanted was for her view of him to be altered. Losing her would break him, he knew it. 

But he also couldn’t lie. When they had stumbled into this relationship, she’d made him swear that no matter how painful it may be, she always wanted the truth in its entirety. Up until today, that had been an easy request to honor. 

So he stayed silent. 

She moved closer, gentle fingers brushing over his bruises, pulling back as he winced. “Tell me, why did you fight today?”

With a quiet plead he begged, “Please, I don’t want to.” 

With finality she responded, “It was about me then, you fought someone trying to defend me.”

His head snapped up to look at her- how an earth did she know?-  expecting to see disappointment and instead he was met with....passion? She took his silence as agreement and her next words knocked him off his feet, “I know I shouldn’t but I find that really.....hot.” 

He gaped at her and suddenly, she lunged at him and he was knocked onto his back on the couch, her body smashed against his. “Will it hurt if I kiss you?” She breathlessly asked and he grabbed her neck, pulling her into a heated kiss. Wet tongues twirling and stroking, her breath hitched when he grabbed her waist, dragging her impossibly closer. Wet smacks reverberated in the room and he hissed when he felt her cool fingers creep under his shirt, nails scratching across his abs. 

The first time she’d seen him shirtless, she had gasped and then reached out with a bold hand, caressing his skin, “Mmmm all mine.” His cheeks had burned but he hadn’t argued, he was all hers, there was no competition. 

But they hadn’t gone beyond kissing yet, she would eagerly reach under his shirt during their make out sessions but he had yet to return the favor, despite her encouragement. He was scared of his own reaction. 

She loved bulldozing over his comfort zone though and seeming emboldened today she leaned back, he missed her body on his instantly, suppressing his own sad whimper, he raptly watched her.  She plucked his hands from there stationary position on his sides and lifted them, then slowly she brought them closer to herself. Soon the destination became clear. 

Her breast. 

His hands tense in fear and anticipation, before he felt the soft mounds underneath his hands. Electricity rapidly moved through his fingers. “Touch me.” She whispered with a sultry look from beneath dark lashes and he squeezed. 

She easily climbed into his lap, rejoining their lips, forcing his mouth open with her tongue, as she moaned at his hands exploration of her breast, he could feel her hard nipples through the thin material of her uniform shirt. She began to grind on his him, he realized with thunderous clarify that he was hard, all of the blood surging to his burgeoning erection. 

Instinctively, he grinded up into her, moving one hand to tug her skirt up and out of the way, groaning at the sudden heat he could feel though her panties. She was panting, bobbing in his lap, as they grinded through their clothes. 

Wet mouths met over and over, until they just hovered over each other’s lips, breathing into each other as their bodies met in harsh collisions. She was moving faster now, grinding with intent as he roughly handled her breasts and he felt the moment she reached euphoria, she threw her head back, nails digging into her shoulder as she shuddered in his arms. 

He watched her face intently, her pretty red lips, her eyes closed in pleasure and that was all it took to push him over the edge, his orgasm knocked him back, his vision clouded up and he groaned at the warm stickiness in his pants. 

“Next time we’ll do that with less clothes.” 

He mewled at her words, too spent to become hard again so soon. 

After freshening up in the bathroom, she’d dragged him into his bed, snuggling into his arms, he started to pull away knowing that this was a dangerous game they were playing, they couldn’t fall asleep. His mother was accepting but even she would not want two horny teenagers in bed in her house. She soothed him, “Don’t worry, I’m not staying I just want to cuddle a little. I set an alarm, I’ll leave soon. Just hold me.”

He wrapped her up in his arms, as she placed her hand and head on his chest. Fingers rapping on his chest before she fell into a deep slumber. He watched her sleeping face in awe, she was his girlfriend and they had just...did that on the couch. 

He felt his own eyes getting heavy with sleep, and soon started to drift off too, for once not having any dreams, because his biggest dream was already a reality. 

[whyarewecalledtheshipname]

idk where this came from. kairi ramblings, in which i repeat myself a lot, with a smidge of soriku:

how i interpret the dynamic of destiny trio, mostly from kairi’s eyes. headcanons ahead. i also project onto kairi a lot. i label them with brother/sister terms, but i’m not saying that’s how she labels them in her mind. found family doesn’t need to follow traditional roles. family can just be people closest to you. anyway—

i see kairi as the little sister. the only girl, boyish, a little shit but also precious, isn’t weak but is perpetually under the guard of the older brother anyway, her world revolves around her brothers and she has attached much of herself to them.

i see riku as the big brother. kairi’s known him all her life, strongest, smartest, most experienced, always there, couldn’t imagine her life without him, a guardian.

and i see sora as the younger brother. he’s closest to kairis age, her partner in crime, he is under her wing as much as she is under his, is perpetually “little” and must be protected even if he’s taller than her, a baby beneath it all, silly and precious.

this is how kairi sees them, in a way. and that’s why even though she’s often with riku (game-wise), bc younger siblings usually gravitate towards the eldest, she’s always more vocal about making sure sora is safe. because you always take care of the kids, first. she doesn’t see him as “littler” than her, but by virtue of being her equal, or close to it, she feels that he needs protection similarly to her. she also feels like she could give him that protection, even if she couldn’t fully protect herself. this could be why she mimics sora’s battle pose and not riku’s, bc she feels sora’s style is something she could achieve and that could benefit her. bc she sees more similarities between herself and sora.

this is actually part of why she comes across as kinda “pointless” in her appearances. she thinks she can be there for sora, bc like i said she naturally sees him as closest to her equal. but because she can’t even protect herself, her attempts to protect sora fall flat.

that’s also why she doesn’t really voice any concerns about keeping riku safe. one, because he’s the older one, and has always been the strongest one, she’s never felt the need to, not as prominently as for sora, and two, she partially feels she can’t do that. if there’s something riku can’t protect himself against, she doubts she’d be able to do it for him. but it isn’t a primary concern, bc there’s little riku has ever needed protecting from.

this is why she shares paopus with sora, and not riku. she’s resorting to the supposed “magic” of the paopu for luck, for a way to keep sora safe.

riku on the other hand, is the strongest of them all, and older. she believes he knows what’s best for himself, and that he can take care of himself, better than she ever could, so she lets him be. she’s let him be for most of her life. sora is the one who’s always needed talking-to’s, after all. riku will always be there, but sora’s the one who would suffer more if he strays from the path. riku couldn’t be kairi’s responsibility, but sora could.

to me, it’s a matter of “scaling”, or even just relativity. sora and kairi have always been the closest by virtue of being the same/similar age. riku, despite being only a year older than them, IS, in fact, older. he’s “the big kid” in their group. and that’s part of why there’s always been a gap between riku and them. kairi can see sora as her peer and equal, but with riku, despite kairi being under /his wing/, she sees herself as /under/ him regardless. (not in a derogatory way relax)

it doesn’t help that riku always tried playing the part of the older brother until recently. and kairi and sora were very much partners in crime. kairi could be a brat at riku, but sora’s the one she could hit and boss around and scheme with.

there’s less fear that riku might not come back to her than that sora won’t. to a degree, it probably doesn’t even fully register in kairi’s mind that she could lose riku, whereas that caution is a real fear when it comes to sora.

for sora, it’s actually probably the same. at least in regards to kairi. because he and kairi really are equals. protecting kairi is a prominent priority in sora’s mind, because he sees her as “small”, or young/younger.

but his feelings aren’t the same when it comes to riku.

riku may be older, he may seem untouchable, but sora obsesses over staying close to riku anyway. not necessarily protecting riku, but staying /with/ him. sora /needs/ to know riku is safe, and preferably by his side, physically, even though sora knows they’re always together. (this is fact, see: DDD)

Sora is way more vocal about wanting to be with riku than kairi is about riku, because sora is in love with him. That’s the difference.

Kairi is family. Kairi brings sora comfort, and happiness.

Riku /completes/ him.

Kairi has been attached to Sora in a slightly less than healthy/optimal way. She feels like she needs sora (and less obviously, riku) to be physically with her to be okay. If Sora or Riku aren’t physically with her, in the same place, she feels alone.

Sora, on the other hand, can be without riku. And this is because sora knows riku is always with him, even when it might seem like he’s not. Though naturally, sora would rather he and riku be together, physically.

All of this reflects on why kairi’s relationship with sora and riku is lacking. She doesn’t feel their togetherness, because their bond is weak, or weakening.

Sora and Riku’s relationship is—I don’t even know how to put it, honestly. Sora and Riku’s hearts resonate with each other, gravitate to each other, they are literally shining onto each other, and all of this is why Sora and Riku can feel each other. Because no matter what, they’re always together in heart.

This is part of why Kairi in Melody of Memory is great. She’s beginning to realize and accept that she can’t be with sora and riku until she can at least /be/ there /for/ them. She’s never been able to do that, so hopefully her training, /her decision/ to train, will be the beginning of her learning and experiencing more things.

Who knows where her path will lead. Maybe it’ll lead her back to Sora and Riku, or maybe away from them. But that’s the whole thing. She has to break away from the one thing she’s always known, out of the rut she’s been stuck in, to discover what it is she really needs and wants. to grow as a person and a character.

again, these are all my personal interpretations, based on my own relationships and views of my brothers. but it’s what helps me connect with kairi when at face value, she doesn’t feel very interesting or compelling.

i doubt this reads as “i hate kairi” bc after putting thought into it, i’ve discovered that i really do like her, and her role in the general story. it’s maybe a role i don’t see often, or done well. i’m starting to think kairi really is top notch, even if her role is unappealing, and difficult to fully appreciate, because that’s the whole point.

i’m sure i’m not the only person in existence who’s ever been afraid of change, taken my personality from the people around me, invested too much of myself in others and forgotten myself, lost something very important in childhood that’s held me back in the years since, been overdependent on others, unable to connect with people in the healthiest way, etc.

people sometimes say kairi feels like an empty shell of a character, but maybe some of us forget that sometimes, there are people who feel like an empty shell of a person, too.

i’m not tryna get philosophical here, or pretend i’m smart. i’m just saying i really relate to (my interpretation of) kairi, and i’m tired of certain kinds of people reducing kairi to “girl who likes sora”. even if she did, she’s so much more. fuck off.

to anyone else who read all this, thanks lol