#even now i cant think about that too much because i literally think were soulmates. and its Too Upsetting to think about that

[biolums]

why not mewhynot me whynotme whynotMEwhy Not Mewhy not me whynot me whynotme Whynot me WHYNOTME why not me. why not me

[darlingsart]

OC-tober Day 9: Relationships

Okay I’m way behind on OC-tober BUT here’s the prompt from yesterday so let’s yap about Max’s relationships shall we? I’m not going to include the familial relationships because I think there’s already a lot of that in the fic so you all have a good sense of close Max is with his brothers and their parents!

Myles: Maximus and Myles are everything all at once, they are best friends, they’d die for each other, they’re literally soulmates, like an actual extension of each other. Myles is just as, if not, more chaotic than Maximus is, they feed off of each other’s energy, there’s no chill person in this friendship at all. They’re very comfortable with each other, so comfortable that he was Maximus’ first kiss because they’re two clueless teenagers who are just like ‘well everyone else is doing it’ lmao Myles is really the only one that Maximus can completely be vulnerable with, and I would even go so far as to say that Maximus feels like he can be more vulnerable with him that Pat and Achilles.

I’m going to try super hard not to spoil anything in these answers but the next work in this series is going to focus very heavily on their relationship and how it grows and changes as Maximus has to navigate his inevitable fate. Their relationship is so special to me, I’m excited to get more into it because there’s gonna be some twists there too.

Cenon: Okay Cenon is a very minor character (right now!) but he and Maximus have a very ‘we’re friends but you get on my nerves’ type of relationship lmao Cenon is like a year or two older than Maximus and they’ve known each other since they were 4 and 6. Cenon is arrogant and stuck up and very snobbish and while Maximus can subconsciously be those things (he is a prince after all, right?) Cenon can be very annoying about it and they sometimes bicker over nothing but at the end of the day Maximus still considers him a close friend and their relationship is going to also go through some changes towards the end of The Rest of Our Lives going into the next fic!

Thea: She was mentioned like twice in a previous chapter but her character is going to get fleshed out a lot more now. Again I’m going to try and not spoil things BUT Thea comes from a rich family who all want her to marry Maximus because he’s a prince and you know how that goes. In one of the last chapters, it was Peleus who brings her up first, he thinks they’re a good fit, she comes from money and noble family, her father’s a good asset to them, why not? So their relationship is a little complicated because everyone is pushing them to get engaged and eventually married which isn’t really all that fun when you’re 16 and have a whole prophecy to deal with lol

Eudora: Eudora is not a new OC at all, I’ve mentioned it before but I’ve had this entire series planned out for years and she’s always been apart of it but she’ll be properly introduced in the next chapter. I won’t say much about her to avoid spoilers but she and Maximus have a very special (and somewhat fragile) relationship with each other. I cant wait to get into their whole thing too because it’s really one of my favorites aspects of the entire series I wish I could blab on about it but I’ve already said too much 😭

[bxngthedoldrums]

a petekey reading of so much (for) stardust

aka you knew i'd do this aka i didnt take four literature classes in college for nothing aka make sure your tinfoil hat is SECURED to your noggin aka dear lord forgive me for committing sins of petekey in the year of 2023

look. i have to do this or i don't deserve this blog. amen

~ love from the other side

okay. yea, immediately the "you were the sunshine of my lifetime" thing is sort of sus, because we all know pete wentz and anytime sun or summer is involved it's Something. this is solidified in "summer falling through our fingers again" in verse 2, but it's interesting that he uses "ours" in this lyric bc i feel like recently most of pete's summer lyrics have been pretty self-inflicted. it's impossible to not note the whole "inscribed like stone and faded by the rain" in the bridge v. "the tombstones were waiting" line in bang the doldrums. i shant even elaborate u can pick up what i'm laying down!

~ heartbreak feels so good

i think this song is pretty light on petekey imagery but "light from a screen of messages unsent" kinda reminds me of "some nights it gets so bad i almost pick up the phone" in ginasfs but i could be reaching for Sure. let's be real that's all i do

~ hold me like a grudge

honestly i think this is one of the worst petekey offenders on the album. this one had me gawking at my screen as i read the lyrics. "thaw out my freezer burn feelings for twenty summers" ??? be SERIOUS pete... "part-time soulmate, full-time problem" yeah I GET IT I GET IT !!! the whole thing reeks of 2005 summertime fling

~ fake out

"do you laugh about me whenever i leave?" bonkers ass line,,this reminds me of pete's lj writing in those years after 2005,,,"my mood board is just pictures of you, but i'm not sad anymore" YEAH. this is SO pete holy fuck. that classic wentz obsession,,"we did for futures that never came and for pasts that we're never gonna change" this line's got me on the fuckin FLOOR. also classic pete!!! his perchance for nostalgia is just insane and he really feels it huh

~ heaven, iowa

i dont even know how to get into this one. "kiss my cheek, baby, please/would you read my eulogy?" SICK and TWISTED evil!!! evil!!! "i will never ask you for anything except to dream sweet of me" jesus h christ the melancholy is off the charts but holy fuck this song is so,,,tender? i dont know wht to say but i know this was written w summer of love intention. i know this in my heart. "scar-crossed lovers, forever" OKAY I KNOW !!! this song is DEVASTATING verse 2 is fucked UP and the bridge is too!!! "closed my eyes inside your darkness and found your glow"???? i cantr og on

~ so good right now

i can't really discern any particularly petekey lyrics in this one right away but the whole "i cut myself down to be whatever you need me to be" is pretty fucking wild

~ i am my own muse

there's some really sad lyrics in this one ab the whole future-not-going-as-planned thing that comes up so frequently in pete's writing but honestly the whole "let's twist the knife again, twist the knife again like we did last summer" thing made my head explode. every lover's got a lil dagger in their hands!!!

~ flu game

im not gonna sit here and type out ths whole fucking song but oh my GOD bro. this song to me is a really nice callback to pete's older style of lyricism but that comes with the self-deprecation and all the other really sad shit. it's beautiful! it's horrible! i love it!!! its about mikey i cant even pul out a few lyrics just LISTEN

~ baby annihilation

another fucked up one that literally anyone else in fob should have vetoed but OKAY?? "time is luck and i wish ours overlapped more or for longer" MAN SHUT UP. "self sabotage at best, under your spell/but you know what they say, if you want a job done right, you gotta do it yourself" ..........dude. if you're like me and you've poured over pete's oooold lj posts from the mid 2000s you already get it, but if you havent,,,go do it and get back to me bc this is TOO MUHC im unwell. "what is there between us if not a little annihilation?" i think i hauve covid

~ the kintsugi kid (ten years)

this song is really fucking sad actually. there's so much fear of being forgotten on this album and it's showcased really beautifully in this song,,,mayhaps not the most obviously petekey song but god damn

~ what a time to be alive

this song's about covid and quarantine n it's pretty easy on the whole suffering from a fling in 2005 thing! good job pete and fob

~ so much (for) stardust

this song is kinda suspicious but there's very few lines that really solidify it as a petekey song,,, altho "i think i've been going through it, and ive been putting your name through it" is a really interesting lyric. and OF COURSE, "in another life, you were my babe/in another life, you were the sunshine of my lifetime" happy xmas war is over

[rosewoodconch]

RWCH Readathon 2024: Day 4

Underciver Princess - Chapter 9

THE GIRLIES GET TO BOND! FINALLY

Im on a train so his is literally my thoughts as i listen to the audiobook instead of reading a physical book

I really love the visual of Ani and Ellie painting each others nails... stay tuned for something about that tomorrow? ;)

Ellie tidied the room! I really adore that Ellies messiness isnt necessarily gone, but you can try that Ellie has really tried to sort it out

AND OH MY GOD

WHAT DO YOU MEAN STANDING IN JUST BRIEFS

We were too casual about this

Also you can wear a bra or tank top to dye your hair trust me i do it every month

This is the gayest thing I've ever read and I've been on ao3 since i was 12

The velvet underground is excellent, and i think you should all go listen to them

Their lil apologies and the "Mr Truffles." Im dying i love them

NON BINARY / ANDROGENOUS ELLIE MY BELOVED

Baby gender funky

Ellie is legit the reason i figured out i maybe was gender funky so shoutout to ellie wolf the most gender ever

Even though ellie did get to choose Rosewood that easily, i like that she can still kind of relate to lottie in that it wasn't the easiest thing to get there, even though they have different circumstances

I like that ellie really genuinely is in awe of ellie and shes trying to say that

But honestly yeah some of the others probably wont apprciate it as much as them both because they almost couldnt go here

"Ill gladly beat them up for you" cut to Edmunds nose...

"I'm perfectly capable of beating up my own enemies" well... not yet, but you'll get there

Honestly yeah. Dying hair is a true bonding experience. I remember my gf dying my hair for the first time and its one of the... most non romantic non sexual but intimate things

Maybe Charles boyle from b99 had a point about the shampoo...

The kitchen sounds like heaven

"Like she'd found a little home with her" GUYS IM CRYING ON A TRAIN I CANT DO THIS

Right onto the "Bad Thing"

Thats the most scary way she could've phrased that

Poor lottie she just wanted to please

Adina devine once again could punch me and I'd thank her

I love Ellie so much, shes such a little actress

Prof devine is so chaotic good i adore her

I feel like theres not enough fan art of their pajamas!??!?!? Ellie likes star wars and we dont talk about that enough

I love their lil blossoming friendship, the way they cant stay mad or cross and just burst out laughing theyre so sweet

William tufty!!! What a man

I have such a perfect image of this room in my mind, but a glass table is no where in it that feels so wrong

I dont like the term loveseat

I think that this scene and the interaction between prof and devine proves that she knows ellies identity. We never get confirmation of it, but like... someone must have her actual legal documents right? For exams and stuff?

"The fates have placed you together" UGH I NEED A SOULMATE AU RIGHT NOW

All of devines speech at the end of this bit feels like its got so much power behind it, like shes casting a spell.

She understands these girls so intensely that I wonder if she had a similar experience when she was a student. Did she go to Rosewood?

"We can achieve amazing things when we uplift one another"

Reminds me so much of "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" from YOU GUESSED IT Barbie Princess Charm School

I promise I'll have a different comparison eventually

Theyre a little sanctuary 😭😭😭

Finally, the ominous little bit about the rumour, growing like weeds in the grounds of rosewood is so poetic and so full of suspense i love it so much

It really sets up quite how dangerous the rumour could and will be

It also comes back to the whole thing about Lottie being somehow tied to the roses and garden. And the rumour and things stirring as weeds, here to disrupt her perfect life at Rosewood

And we're so back. This is the chapter that lowkey gave me faith again. The way the settings are described and the character motivations are softly shown and they feel like real moving characters.

I really appreciate this humanising Devine too, while also making her seem otherworldly at the same time. It's like a heightened version of Binahs almost omniscience.

All in all, this chapter makes me really happy and i need fan art of all of it please @ Rosewood artists

[wolfblabbersaboutfujoandshipshit]

Incorrect Josuhan Quotes Cause Why Not

Rohan: Could you be anymore annoying? Josuke: Yes. 

-

Josuke: There. How do I look? Rohan: Like a cheap French harlot. Josuke: French?! 

-

Josuke: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween! Rohan: That doesn't exist. Josuke: Not with that attitude.

-

Josuke: Is this mistletoe? Rohan: Uh, no, no, that is basil. Josuke: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you. Rohan: Yeah, no, it’s still basil. 

-

Rohan: I’ve been sleeping so little the past few nights that when I go to the alarm app, I click on the “power nap” button. I don’t set up alarms, I set up timers, Josuke. 

-

Josuke: I've met a lot of pricks in my time, but you, Rohan, are a fucking cactus.

-

Rohan: There's nothing worse than people using big words they don't understand. Josuke: I photosynthesize with this. 

-

Rohan: Josuke, we tried things your way. Josuke: No, we didn't. Rohan: I did it in my head and it didn't work. 

-

Rohan: I hate you sometimes. Josuke: Well according to this picture Koichi drew of us holding hands that's not true. Rohan: Josuke, you drew that. Josuke: It doesn't matter.

-

Josuke: *out cold on the ground* Koichi: Oh my god, do you think they’re okay?! Rohan, holding a bucket of ice water: Who cares?! *dumps all of the water on Josuke’s face* 

-

Koichi: It’s funny how well you and Rohan get along. Didn’t they hate you at first? Josuke: Rohan hates everybody at first. It’s their way of reaching out to people. 

-

Rohan: Someone take me to art museums and make out with me. Josuke: But they said not to touch the masterpieces. Rohan: Well somebody's got to pin the artwork to the wall. Okuyasu, on a walkie talkie: This is Okuyasu, those idiots are fucking around in the East wing again. 

-

Rohan: Josuke annoyed me today so I told them that I can’t wait to see what they have planned for our special day tomorrow. Koichi: There is nothing special about tomorrow. Rohan: But there is something special about watching the color leave their face as panic takes over. 

-

Rohan: This food is too hot... I cant eat it. Josuke: You’re very hot, and I still eat you. Everyone at the table: *silence* Okuyasu: YOU GUYS ARE DISGUSTING! Koichi: One dinner... I just want ONE DINNER!

-

Josuke: I love you. Rohan: I love you too. I've waited so long to hear you say that. *Josuke and Rohan kiss passionately* Koichi, to Okuyasu: You owe me 20 dollars. 

-

Okuyasu: I sleep with a gun under my pillow. Koichi: I sleep with a knife. Rohan: Both of you are pathetic. Okuyasu: Oh yeah? What do you sleep with? Rohan: Josuke. 

-

Okuyasu: What’s the announcement, Koichi? Koichi: It’s a lecture. Josuke’s gonna tell us everything they know about sex. Rohan: It should be an enjoyable 60 seconds. 

-

Rohan: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Josuke and I are dating. Josuke, Okuyasu, Koichi, and Yukako: *gasp* Rohan: Josuke, why are you surprised?! 

-

Okuyasu: Ah, yes. Here we have a beautiful couple... Yukako: I really care about your feelings! Koichi: I really care about YOUR feelings! Okuyasu, turning their head: ...and then there's the disaster couple... Rohan: YOU NEED TO PAY MORE ATTENTION TO ME INSTEAD OF BEING AT THE HOSPITAL! Josuke: I WOULDN'T HAVE TO SPEND SO MUCH TIME AT THE HOSPITAL IF YOU STOPPED INSISTING ON FIGHTING EVERYONE WHO COMES WITHIN A FIVE FOOT RADIUS OF YOU!

-

Koichi: So anyways have y'all seen Rohan? Okuyasu: I think they went in Josuke's room 'studying'. Yukako: Doubt that. I heard groans there. *Meanwhile in Josuke's room* Rohan & Josuke, fighting:

-

Josuke: As top in this relationship, I think we should- Rohan: I can't believe you're pulling rank on me.

-

Josuke: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning. Rohan: This is a lie. Rohan: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie. Rohan: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS. 

-

Josuke: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreashing. Rohan: Are you a software update? because not right now. 

-

Josuke: So... what would you do if you were in bed with me? Rohan: Depends. Is your bed comfortable? Josuke: Yes. Rohan: I'd sleep. 

-

Rohan, to Josuke: We had a date! Rohan: *aggressively points to Hello Kitty Coloring Book* 

-

Rohan: I want to kiss you.

Josuke, not paying attention: What?

Rohan: I said if you die, I wont miss you.

-

i may do some giomis ones later desu

[stormyoceans]

So since you were a major influence for me to go watch vice versa after last twilight I thought its my duty to let you know that I now finished it and you WERE RIGHT

THIS SHOW??????? SO GOOD???? THEY HAD MY BACK START TO FINISH I CANT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW MUCH I LOVE THEM???? IM SORRY BUT PUENTALAY >>>> ANYTHING ELSE. LAST TWILIGHT CAN GO HOME EVERYONE WATCH VICE VERSA AND BE IN AWE OF THEIR LOVE.

IT WAS SO EASY FOR ME TO FALL IN LOVE WITH THEM??? PUEN IS A DERANGED MOTHERFUCKER AND I LOVE HIM FOR IT. THAT PART WHERE TALAY LEARNS ABOUT HIS OLD LIFE AND ALL THE SCENES OF HIM SAYING GOODBYE HAD ME ON THE FUCKING FLOOR!!! AND TALAYS HEART EYES PAIRED WITH THE ABSOLUTE MADNESS HE DEVELOPED TRYING TO GET TO THAT ISLAND!!!!!!!!!!

Also may I add the moment I completely lost it:

scene of all scenes. What a confession. What a love story. They're EVERYTHING to me. I can't believe more people are gushing over it what's up with that?!?!

I even watched our sky right after cause I didn't want to let them go and they had a CHILD. GIVE THEM A CHILD I DARE YOU 😭😭😭

Anyway. Yeah thanks for counterbalancing all the people who said vv isn't a good show like WHAT WERE YOU GUYS WATCHING?!

HELLO FRIEND I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THIS MESSAGE JUST MADE MY DAY MY WEEK MY MONTH MY ENTIRE YEAR IM LITERALLY BEAMING SO MUCH RN I COULD RIVAL THE SUN

it just makes me sooooo happy to see that people are still willing to give vice versa a chance after all this time!!!!!! and to know that i had even the smallest part in making you decide to watch it?????? NOT TO BE DRAMATIC BUT THERE ARE NO WORDS TO PROPERLY EXPRESS HOW THIS MAKES ME FEEL 🥺 AND IM SO GLAD YOU ENDED UP LIKING IT SO MUCH TOO!!!!!!!!!

im honestly never going to stop being vocal about how much i love this show because 1) it brings me so much joy and comfort i just want to share these feelings with everyone, and 2) IT'S AN AMAZING WONDERFULLY WRITTEN SHOW AND PUENTALAY INVENTED PARALLELISM ROMANTICISM SOULMATISM TRUE LOVISM!!!!!!!!

like i know the show has a lot of product placements (which anyway i think they did a wonderful job to integrate in the narrative and there are only very few of them i would actually do without), but they put so much care and thought and details in the story they wanted to tell!!!!! there's a reason i always say that this show HAS TO be rewatched at least once, and that's because you're gonna notice so many things that you didn't the first time around!!!!! and like the cinematography, the production, and the coloring are spectacular, the characters are all so lovable, AND DON'T EVEN LET ME START ON PUENTALAY LIKE YOU'RE SO RIGHT NO ONE COMPARES TO THEIR LEVELS OF TENDERNESS DEVOTION COMMUNICATION DOMESTICITY LONGING ADORATION CARE LOVE!!!!!!!!!!

SO YEAH ANYWAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR SENDING ME THIS IT MADE ME SO HAPPY AND I HOPE THIS SHOW WILL BRING YOU JOY FOR A LONG TIME!!!!!!!!!

[bebx]

hi im so sorry but i need to get this off my chest and i cant talk to my friends about it because its so embarrassing and ive talked about it PLENTY

but anyway long story short i was dating someone, we have a weird history dating wise & have been best friends for 3+ years before that all started. literally three weeks ago we decided to be exclusive, on friday i found out that the day before, he kissed another girl IN PUBLIC. i know that girl, they've hooked up before (when i was also hooking up with him but it wasn't anything really and i didn't actually know for sure if they were hooking up (they were)). so we called it quits.

i still spent the weekend bc i'm weak and all i want is him. he said he never felt a connection like this with anyone, he said he loved me and he said he was sorry a hundred times..... he said it would take a long time before he'd feel 'normal' about me. we were both emotional when i left, and since then i havent really stopped crying lol

AND NOW. i dont know if im just driving myself crazy but i feel like he's (still) (again?) talking to that one girl and it would make sense because he basically cheated on me not even a week ago so why wouldnt he do this now??? but. it feels too cruel. but maybe thats just who he is.

god i hate this so much he drives me completely mad im stalking his every move and every time i see something that even slightly hints at my suspicions i get so ill and it makes me wanna kms. i just wanna feel normal i hate that he did this to me i miss him so bad. i know we literally shouldn't ever get back together again because this is just a fraction of the shit thats happened in the past 10 months, BUT I ONLY WANT HIM. and i feel like we're soulmates. BYEEEEE this is so humiliating. im so tired i just want it to end

hugging you so tight right now, anon!!! 🩷🩷🩷 so sorry you have to go through something like this. I can’t say I know exactly how you feel, because each person experiences this type of pain differently, but I do know it just super sucks when the person who hurts us and the person we want to hate turns out to be the one we love the most. sometimes our hearts can be stubborn just like that (it all would’ve been so easy if we could convince ourselves to stop caring and to being able to fully hate them and moving on, but it’s never that easy, sadly). I can’t tell you what to do or how to react to the pain you feel, but know that your pain is valid and how you feel / how you react / how you cope with that pain, that’s valid too. and you are not weak for being hurt when someone wronged you, especially when it’s someone you trusted. I know this is cliche and is so much easier said than done, but please also be kind to yourself, above anything else. that boy and the girl he cheated on you with, they don’t deserve you. they lost you, not the other way around. think of this as an opportunity for you to open yourself to someone else who truly loves and values you, whether it be romantically or platonically. I know right now you just want him, but if the wrong person can make you love him this bad, imagine how much happier you’ll be when you finally find the right one who can make you love them the same way you loved him, if not more, the only difference is that they won’t break your heart. and you deserve to be happy. that someone is out there, and I truly believe you both will find each other when the time is right. but for now, try loving and being gentle to yourself even if it’s hard (I know it can be hard, but at least give it a try), the best revenge is to prove to them that you don’t need them to be happy and that you can heal from this and thrive without them in your life. doesn’t matter how long it takes, but you will get there one day, and you will look back and be so damn proud of yourself for how far you’ve come. because hey, look at you, you are still here, and for that, I am so damn proud of you!!

it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be completely broken, because the thing about crying and being broken is that it’s not permanent, even if it feels like it right now.

and by the way, the ones who should feel humiliated are him and that girl, not you. screw it if they deserve each other. YOU deserve so much better than that anyway.

[bisluthq]

ugh nat i need help. i totally cant get over swiftwyn, like ever since they broke up I’ve been more heartbroken ab it than I think they themselves are lol. Idk I think it’s just that they were such a perf couple and they seemed like such soulmates. like all the music she wrote for and with him, the way they looked so good together, and just the fact that they seemed so emotionally connected on so many levels. like they’re still my couple goals if I’m being honest lmao. idk I just can’t get myself to be happy over TK bc I’m missing swiftwyn. Like it’s literally just so sad. their relationship is literally my Roman Empire lmfao

honestly i think i need to separate myself from tay but like i love her music too much and it doesn’t help that i know the lore behind all of her songs. they were just the dream couple and i soooo wish they were still together

not to be one of those “love isn’t real” bitches but like that’s how I’ve gen been feeling for the past 6 months

idk i think it’s all the fact that I don’t know these people and will never receive closure because I’ll never know what happened. but idk it just hurts me on such a deep level for some reason lmao

pls help, even if you can provide any advice or closure would be appreciated like i feel crazy and don’t know what to do lmao

Okay SO I think you've analysed it very correctly - you're mourning something that existed in your head and it's difficult to get closure on something that's not yk real. For Taylor and Joe, breaking up was the result of falling out of love (which is normal but sad). For you, you're having to break up with Swiftwyn without ever falling out of love with them because, as you rightfully point out, you don't know them and weren't involved. You loved the concept (that's all other people's relationships can ever be if we're not somehow caught up in the middle of it). You don't have to stop loving the concept. It's not that different from idk The Doctor and Rose together or Meredith and McDreamy or idk that gay Supernatural ship.

So my advice is take a deep breath and allow yourself to still like them as a ship from when they're together. Them being broken up in 2023 doesn't mean you can't imagine 2016 them when Delicate comes on (if that's what pops into your head), same as you can picture Jake and Taylor when ATW plays and same as you can rewatch episodes of your favourite ships even when the couple later breaks up or idk the show ends.

Because we're operating with the concept, not with real life.

Now here's where it gets tricky though. We are liking concepts but dealing with real people - that's where liking celeb couples gets weird. So while it's perfectly okay to listen to Delicate and imagine the dive bar or look at the potato quality pap shots of them or whatever, what's not okay is harassing them or the recurrent "DAD COME BACK" jokes (which mostly stopped now that TK is around, which goes back to how this is concept not real life). Because like... they're real people who just got over each other and that's sad and I can't imagine dealing with my own issues and having strangers "mourning" it for me or telling me who I should date next. People are mad weird.

As for "love isn't real" - well, Hollywood love isn't really. The Notebook doesn't happen irl. I mean read this interview from Goldie about Kurt. Kurt and Goldie broke up/took separations in both 2000 and 2004. Then they realised that even though they pissed each other the fuck off, they're better off staying together, and here they still are now. One day, maybe they'll take another separation and stay apart after that. Who knows!?!?! NOT THEM. So certainly not us. Love is incredible and magical but it's also going to have ups and downs and require work and compromise and if the bad starts outweighing the good then it's time to find something else.

[quieteclipse]

extremiun yapping about my current sims gameplay below lmao

i think i've had some really interesting sims gameplay for the first time in a while (for me personally) and it's all because i've been struggling with getting my sim's love life started.

usually it's so easy, but i'm doing my best to take relationship differences into consideration and not just jumping into something unhappy (for the long run at least....she's definitely jumped head first into am unhappy relationship & situationship lol).

but the upside is that everything else has been going great and i love that. she graduated high school early, got a distinguished degree in computer science, enough scholarships to give her a full ride, and even graduated uni before aging up to a young adult (though that is specifically because of the shorter uni mod lmao). she started at level 8 in her career and is now level 9 i believe and what was once the shitty starter home in copperdale has now been upgraded to a pretty decent house—without cheating! of course it doesn't look great on the outside because i'm not a builder, but it's what's inside that counts <3

i have one more potential beau for her in mind before i give it up for a little while and just have her adopt a kid (because she really wants to start her family now). and i say adopt because despite her having high fertility, she's been struggling getting pregnant, which is so insane to me considering her longtime situationship (wolfgang munch) ALSO has high fertility.

honestly, she's in her depression era rn (she gained the gloomy trait), so idk if i want to explore that final potential love interest just yet. she currently has the soulmate aspiration, but i think i'll change it to a nature one. i want her to reconnect with her old hobby of fishing since she doesn't have to do it for money anymore. and maybe this will help move along the storyline of her meeting and befriending her final potential love interest. since she hasn't really put much effort into her friendships in a while. usually she'd talk to people enough to know them and then she'd add them on social bunny and the relationships would take off from there.

honestly, it's been so fun having her life have its ups and downs.

in the beginning, she was social awkward and hot headed (which were randomized traits), which inspired my storyline that her parents unexpectedly died and the rest of her family took most of her inheritance (which she ended up getting a little bit of back through that one pop up), so she had to move to copperfield and majorly downsize from her previous wealthy life (since i dressed her up all rich girl preppy before i came up with a storyline).

i changed her traits to outgoing and self-assured when she aged up because being socially awkward and hotheaded did nothing to deter her from making hella friends and fast too. and because of this, through the talents & weaknesses mod, i also gave her the talent of being charismatic. i also eventually gave her the talent for programming bc it really came to her so easily; i think she leveled uo pretty quick and always had successful hacks even when she had a lower skill.

going back to her love life bc i cant stop fixating on it and that's where most of the ups & downs lie.

primarily, i'm obsessed with the constant push & pull between her and wolfgang. even though he prefers non-exclusive relationships and she prefers exclusive ones, which caused their most recent split (still unofficial as of now bc my game kept bugging out too much for me to get anywhere else, so now i must wait for the next weekend).

but to start from the beginning: in high school, malcom landgraab asked her to prom and i was gonna do a storyline where she dated him briefly to be petty since wolfgang was playing around (and also bc she was lowkey freaked by him since he kept somehow barging into her house???), but he literally never spoke to her again after he ditched her at prom (that HE invited her to mind you).

anyways, my sim (helena) decided to invite wolfgang to the usual prom after party at the pier (which i'm pretty sure he got dressed up for despite not going to prom. and i had them go on the scary ride first and then i tried helena's luck with the romantic ride and it worked!!! wolfgang was feeling her like she was feeling him and theu shared their first kiss!! but then he started playing games afterwards. which, come to find out, he viewed her as basic looking. for the longest time i thought they struggled to gain romance because wolfgang was mean & gloomy, but no!

so after that, i started trying to have helena forget about wolfgang and try out some other options.....which she didnt get very far. i was going to have her date this guy named ocean from her uni, but she got wrapped back up in wolfgang and those two ended up becoming friends with benefits.

very soon after, she became queerplatonic partners with aurelio.

now, her and aurelio became quick besties in their later teen years and i was shipping them so hard until i read his sim bio and learned that he was aroace. but they did end up getting a bit of romance even after i secured his preferences (or lack thereof) in CAS, but he also had a dislike for flirtation so there was that. later on, though, i remembered i had the mod that can specify orientation, so i made him romance/relationship favorable (though i wish i had kept it at indifferent) and woohoo averse.

i think i missed up at one point by choosing an interaction where she asked aurelio to be more than friends bc i really didnt think it did anything lmaooooo but they ended up becoming bf & gf. which sucked bc she had to break up with him twice....and this was bc he had the jealous trait and kept antagonizing her about their relationship problems??? despite them having only been together for not even a full sim day, i dont think????

chile, anyways...

i'm pretty sure she had also ended her fwb relationship with wolfgang for aurelio bc i totally forgot about that before starting anything with aurelio.

but honestly it didnt really mean anything bc i had her invite him (and others) over for new year's for a little dinner party (which idk why i do parties in my game anymore bc they never work right), and they ended up banging on the couch, in front of jeb & ocean (who, btw, also propositioned her for sex....which i accepted at first, but then denied immediately after). i felt bad for having them do that in the living roo. bc aurelio literally left the house (he was staying over btw).

anyways, after all that craziness. she ended up inviting wolfgang over again and they whoohoo'd a lot. which is where we discovered that despite bith her and wolfgang having high fertility, helena just was not getting pregnant. apparently she is also prone to having issues during pregnancy, so i'm worried about that.

due to them not getting pregnant naturally, i was gonna have helena ask wolfgang to have a science baby with her, but like i saod earlier, this is where my game really started to lag so bad i genuinely couldn't get anybody to do anything.

this era is so sad bc i had extended the house and redecorated for a potential baby and it just wasnt happening, so i ended up deleting all the baby stuff and turning the extra room into a guest room.

but i also feel bad bc i wanted helena to move out of copperdale tbh (also i might've called it copperfield somewhere earlier. i found one incident & changed it, but i could've sworn there was another, but i'm not looking for it). but i like the progress i've made on her house, i'd feel too sad to move out already. but the lot honestly isn't big enough anymore. i think i want her to have a pool even though it's still early spring in my game rn (i think i want to change the length of the seasons tho....a week is just too short).

also, i think i might finally make that switch to long life span....i want to cherish helena's young adult years, especially with what i have planned. and i dont want her adult years to be rushed either.

i'm hoping she either finds genuine love and friendship with this ken guy she had a sexy dream about once, or wolfgang suddenly wants to settle down....or maybe, she'll find someone else idk. i wish i had a proper computer setup so i wouldnt be so irritated by the lag that happens whenever going off my home lot, bc i'd love for helena to go out clubbing and exploring.

either way, i'm excited for her to adopt a child too. i definitely think that will be the next step for her, especially with her problems with conceiving. and i think i'll finally move to the world that came with the horse pack, bc i havent done a single damn thing with that pack yet (besides this one random sim i made live there at one point, her save was a random throwaway save tho). i only just recently seen an actual horse in game with helena bc aurelio'a family adopted one. i've pretty much been everywhere else.

anyways, i think i'm all yapped out about my current sim. i can't wait to play her again, but i might just wait until school is officially out until i do play my game again. i'm so invested in helena's story, just playing on weekends isnt going to cut it anymore.

i really do hope this is the gameplsy where i can actually continue a legacy. but if it is, i desperately need to start taking more pics with helena's friends. i missed their teen years (besides with wolfgang...of course), i don't want to miss their young adult ones.

[anabundanceofblue]

on the mysterious family & what they get up to

before i become even more ugly or randomly die out of a heartattack or something i feel an urge to write about a mysterious family that is a constant in my life and my suffering. it never occurred to me that innocuous things like living your life in your bedroom could be a threat to your livelihood and having every moment of your life collected, documented, datarized and then weaponised against you.

you go into the world expecting people to have good intentions because it just seems so natural but then you meet a select group of people that are entirely focused on doing bad, i have no idea why this is so but it just seems to be the case. like a thrill in messing up another persons life or face for their own gain/interest. because if someone else is fatter, uglier, dumber, poorer than you then you wont feel so pathetic about your own life.

ive met maybe 2 (those who cant be named lol eyeroll) individuals who i knew in real life and i never really talked to them either way. but somehow had been involved with this family for over 10 years will little innuclous things happening which i now realise in retrospect, almost all were at the expense of my emotional, psychological and physical health. anytime i had been close to feeling good about my self and my body i would be immediately sent back into a place i didnt like or want to be.

i suffered through chronic illnesses like diabetes (short term), fungal skin, acne, allergies, yellowing of my skin, just a whole host of nasties which i now think may have had some correlation with the "source", the closer you get to the full picture the more scary/messed up it is.

my head is entirely now preoccupied with protecting itself from tissue damage because im being gassed in my own house and my brain is constantly under threat from odours and inflammatory damage, i eat healthy food and exercise (they let me use the treadmill today, normally it's shut off by some electromagnetic thingo that makes the key not work because endorphines makes you smart and we defintely cant have that). im just going round in circles trying to get these viruses out of my body because they can only use my face and my unfortunate state to capitalise off the people that are marginally associated with me, they have no alternative ways of making money because of their default status in hell and having the keen senses to exploit other peoples weaknesses and misfortunes. it's never how can we improve the situation but always, and i mean always how do i make it worse.

i never intended to have these people around me long term and ive no clue why im the chosen one but im determined to speak my truth even if i have to suffer through another 10 years of delayed pain and suffering when you can get away with "small events" that eventually add up to life threatening events like becoming too brainy that you have to die? ok?

like for e.g. the warren guy has literally been living rent free in my head for nearly a year now, because we're supposed soulmates even though he's been watching girls getting it on via cameras and social media and using this technology to have sex with them. im honeslty shooketh and he gets away with it because he has money and the time to correct the story. even though the guy is literally a creep with ego the size of sun with not much to back it up apart from that one time he accidentally coomed too hard he needed to dispose my body to get rid of the evidence (when i entered zero universe and messed up his party).

and im pretty sure the tissue damage is quite severe because im bleeding from invisible forces inside my body. like i bled almost an entire underwear full of blood because he raped another girl spiritually and i need to cover it up for him because im a virgin & all. like im literally bleeding downstairs. and my nose is now all messed up again after being healed because i need to stay ugly and deformed and weak all my life for him to sit inside to have sex with people to clear his coom brain//elliot roger tendecies to feel powerful & good about himself so that he can continue to exploit me and people who look like me. the dude does nothing all day but chant make helen ugly in my head and pressing hard on my nose so that it becomes weakned and the outside makes goes into my brain to make it all messed up.

thats not even countign the almost one year worth of funds they received from literally chanting stupid shit inside my head and threatening to bomb anyone who doesnt obey them because he has a magical penis and it'll be the end of the world if we dont coorperate. like im pretty sure he is stacked from just having been born with that critical puzzle piece and now he's ruining my life yet again after 10+ years of slow torture and degradation. every part of me has been watched since grade 8 and it's still not enough

also the dude literally sends me really creepy cryptic messges on anonymous sites/forums and it's so frequent i cant tell his typing style. he literally sent me a video about his crush on hailey bieber on youtube sometime in january in a youtube short "my girl & i" and it's hailey and justin getting ice cream in rome ??? and thats how i pieced it together because memories dont fade even if you pay enough money to universe 5 temporarily. and one time he sent me a graph with a collection of books and it's elliot rodgers manifesto lol next to a scientology book

i mostly dont give a shit about what these rich old creeps get up to but like ive lived 10+ years in a shit condition without conscious awareness and i think i deserve not to feel this way until i actually die? so yeah im going to keep writing and screaming until someone can get this old fucker off me and my head and i can live my life in peace and quiet and the family can fuck off too and stop channelling their weird voodoo magic to get people to like them and then backstab them and justify it ad infinitum

theres more interesting areas in the black universe that you can explore but i honestly cant be bothered because im so hideous all the time and im so preoccupied with not coming off as so ugly so that people will hate me all over again because a year ago that was the most traumatic event of my entire life and it all started with the ugly old loser sat around jacking off to cute instagram girls that are his daughters age and going around using women like tissues he needs to pay more compensation in my humble opinion (me included)

enough snitching for the night because i havent slept properly if you want more interesting stories about jews and their antics, keep in touch yah i said it bitch fight me in real life you little bitch

[1d1195]

Where do I even begin…

PAIN PAIN PAIN IS ALL IM FEELING RN😭 I was genuinely tearing up towards the end of this new part! It started out so cute with them being all lovey dovey and them FINALLY being able to show that to each other a bit more now! Definitely was excited when he mentioned that he wants her to go with him back to England(I am still hoping😭)

Once she arrived at the bar I loved how you wrote “Niall swore he saw fireworks exploding in Harry’s pupils, turning into the shape of a heart as he watched her” bc it just reminded me of how hopelessly in love he is with her and he sucks at hiding it but I find that as a good sign because they are soulmates! I just thought it was a cute and sweet way of describing it from another’s pov! And that cute little moment of Harry admitting he has always been jealous of her with other guys made me giggle! ALSO THE PINKIES TOUCHING 😭

Now the moment she went into that bathroom… I knew things were off but the fact that she was going to get her by the ppl who are suppose to take care of her omg teh ANGER I FELT ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY CALLED HER ROSE!!! Yet my girl really was putting Harry first by keeping him safe and don’t even get my started on that letter telling them to reassign Harry 💔💔💔😭😭😭 MY HEART HURT SO BAD WTF! I felt like I was Harry because I was just as shattered as he was!

Her making a plan made me remember to one of the past chapters where Harrry told her to have a Safeway or something along those lines to have when things go bad and I swear I didn’t see that as foreshadowing yet that was so smart of you because it was a bit if a surprise! My heart hurts for her because she deserves more! I also desperately needs Harry’s pov about all of this!

I can’t beginto explain how much I love this story! LITERALLY FUCK ALL OF DSS!!!(expect Harry and Niall ofc) AHHHHH IM BUZZING WITH EXCITEMENT I DESPERATELY NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER! I LOVED IT SO OMG! YOU ARE AMAZING I CANT SAY THAT ENOUGH!-💜

Okay you are much too sweet to me! Thank you so much for sending a message. Let's see what I can divulge to you without giving anything away. (*****Protection Part VII Spoilers below*******)

I am so sorry about your pain. I honestly don't know why y'all put up with me. Especially after I gave you all the trip to England you all desperately wanted and just let me rip it away like that. I thought the his heart eyes might be a nice call back to her heart eyes in part 5. And I love any chance I get to have Niall tease Harry in any of my stories. (I'm glad you liked the pinkies, i thought they were a nice little touch--literally).

I lowkey broke my own heart about reassigning Harry and the whole Rose business. I hated breaking Harry's heart honestly. I hope it gets put back together. 😭

So my 7th grade teacher would be awfully proud of me I think about my foreshadowing technique--especially by how much better (i personally think) it has gotten. ALSO I'm glad you noticed in general. Truthfully, this was like the first part of Protection I had written/in my head/ready to go so it was a bit easier to get the foreshadowing done hehehe I think you'll get SOME satisfaction out of the next part of what you mentioned 😉😉😉

I'm so so glad you're enjoying it means so much to me <3

xoxo

[walkingdaryls]

what i honestly think it would be like to date loki

btw to those who have sent me requests...i see you! i promise. i’ve just been a bit unmotivated at the moment. so here’s this for now i guess LMAO

lemme just say right now...actually getting to the point of dating loki would take a long time

a LONG TIME

the enemies (but not rlly enemies) to allies to friends w tension to yearning / crushing on each other to lovers type thing

i mean have u seen how loki grew up??? he has major trust issues and doesn’t get close to people

i think it’d take a few years of extreme slowburn, arguing, and yearning w one another until feelings actually start to show

loki wouldn’t be afraid of staring - or eye contact, tbh

you’d just be sitting at one of tony’s famous parties, feeling slightly out of place while standing amidst a group of people avidly telling their own stories (let’s be real...it’s mainly tony talking)

and for just a quick second you let out a small comment that earns a couple grins and chuckles from the people around you

the conversation moves on, but you can’t help but feel loki’s intense gaze on you

and he doesn’t look away for a good ten seconds

or maybe you’ll just be eating dinner and loki will carefully watch you with soft eyes from across the table

he analyzes everything about you...

the way you raise a quizzical eyebrow, the way you avert your gaze away from him when his flirty comments make you nervous

the way you flip the pages of your book gently

the way your body just naturally leans into his touch

he notices everything.

everything.

loki most definitely is not a PDA person in my opinion . like at all

but the one thing he ALWAYS does. like ALWAYS, is have one hand placed gently on the small of your back

as a way to always somehow be touching you, and letting you know he’s there

(and ofc letting everyone else know)

but when alone, i honestly do think that touch is one of loki’s main love languages

he’s always touching your mf NECK

you don’t know why, and neither does he

but he’ll just come behind you and gently brush any hair to the side, and run his chilly fingers down your neck

or he’ll place a gentle kiss on your neck’s sweet spot after anything (after a heated make out session, after saying good morning, after dinner, ANYTHING)

he’s a neck guy ok i’ve decided

i also feel like loki is the type to act all macho and tough but he’ll be like

“actually, my dove, i guess you could paint my nails. i guess we could match. only green, though”

also this is a lil NSFW but loki is 100% INDEED A GOD NOT ONLY IN THE STREETS, BUT IN THE SHEETS AS WELL

he puts his powers to good use if ya know what i mean

seriously though, he worships you. WORSHIPS YOU. not only your body, but your mind, heart, and soul as well

anything intimate he goes into with pure passion because he believes it intertwines your souls together even more

ALSO i literally believe that loki, in the late hours of the night, while you two are sleepy in each other’s arms under the dim moonlight, will braid your hair gently

he’s quite good with his fingers

in more ways than one

after kissing you, loki likes poking you gently with his nose, then completely leaning into you, and pulling you into a tight embrace

i don’t see him as a huge cuddler while sleeping, but he ALWAYS is either holding your hand or having his arm/hand on you SOMEWHERE at least

always touching u!

now i know this is kind of depressing, but there would definitely be fights occasionally between you and loki

sometimes loki cant watch his tongue, and you end up storming out of the room in tears

or even if it’s something about him going out on missions and doing reckless shit and you’re TIRED OF IT

and he gets too defensive and you both end up stressed out and w raised voices, so you just storm out

but he never. EVER goes to sleep mad at you. he did it once and woke up feeling terrible and vowed to never let you two go to bed angry

by the end of the night, he’s kissed you wherever you’ve got tears falling, and whispers “im sorry, my dove” “forgive me, please”

you guys kiss a lot

like a lot

loki loves going on walks with you. it’s just something you’ve both normalized in your day to day routine together

you like to call loki “shakespeare” bc mf can be so dramatic sometimes and recite goddamn poems to you out of nowhere

but you honestly love it

LMAO sometimes i feel like during a make out session loki will just softly bite your ear for no reason

the first time u were like??? but you’re into it

you and loki out in public literally look exactly like that one picture of natalia dyer and charlie heaton

ya know...the one of them walking hand in hand on the streets, resting bitch faces, dressed all in black, big ass sunglasses, sharing earbuds

you guys truly are that couple

i feel like “mirrors” by justin timberlake just fits the relationship vibe. do u know what i mean?

BATHS TOGETHER. ALL THE MF TIME. he just loves skin on skin

loki loves you so much

like loki iS SO reserved around people (other than you) but if someone asks about you he will literally spill his heart out, talking about how you are truly an angel sent from heaven for him

he only has eyes for you. forever and always

soulmates

[dinkedupfink]

"You dumbass!"

Heyyyy, im a sucker for soulmate au's, and you know why? Neither do i, so dont ask me why. N e ways onto the story or whatevr

Summary: zoro meets his soulmate who is,, a 'little bit' annoyed with him.

Character: Roronoa Zoro

Warnings: swearing, mentions of painful stuff ig, a bit of angst? I mean kinda but idk

Everyone in this world has soulmates, well, some dont, but they're the ones who dont feel romantic attraction at all. And you know what you share with your soulmate? Unfortunately for you, its pain. Because whoever your soulmate is, is a total.fucking.dumbass.

Once, you were doing your daily stuff, and out of nowhere, it literally felt like you got stabbed with salt covered knives all over your body for a second, well, before that, you had been feeling some pain, but this was worse, way way worse. And then after that the feeling came again, but this time it was longer and way worse. It was so bad that you fainted because of the overwhelming pain.

A bit later when you woke up, you swore to yourself that the day you met you soulmate (if they were even able to live that long) you would punch them right in the face, you even started working out for that reason! You diďnt care that you were gonna feel it too, because they 100% deserved it.

A couple of years later, you were stranded out at sea. Well, you wouldn't really call it out at sea, but you were a bit further from shore than normally, and you accidentally lost both your oars. You COULD swim back, but that would take forever, so you decided to wait just a bit to see if any ships would come nearby and maybe take you back to your island.

Maybe around half an hour later, a huge ship with a lion head on the front came near, and the crew seemed to have noticed you. "HEEEEY! ARE YOU OKAY?" A black haired guy with what you think was a strawhat on his neck, really it was hard to see from that distanced, yelled to you. "NO, COULD YOU PLEASE HELP ME IF IT ISNT TOO MUCH OF A BOTHER?" you answered him.

A second later, an arm stretched over to your boat, and slung around your stomach, and then you got pulled over onto their boat at a very high speed. "MOTHERFUCKER-" was your response to this unexpected action, and honestly, i cant think of a better reaction. The boy with what you had correctly guessed, a strawhat, then asked you a question, "who are you?" You honestly thought he was just gonna ask you what you needed help with, but nonetheless answered his question. "Ah, im [y/n], i got stranded in the boat i was in, and i was waiting for help to get back to my island, its the one just up ahead over there-" you pointed at the not too far away island "-so if its okay could you drop me off there?" Before the stranger that now did look a little familiar at close inspection could answer, a orange haired woman came up to where the two of you were. "Sure! We were gonna go there anyways, so its no problem! My name is Nami, and this IDIOT who can't warn people before pulling them through the air is called Luffy." With this explanation, she smiled brightly at you, "and now for the fee of riding our ship.." "NO, WE DONT NEED MONEY RIGHT NOW!" "SHUT UP LUFFY" Nami said at Luffys sudden outburst. "Ah, i guess you'll go for free if he insists, that damn idiot.." she sadly grumbled with the loss of potential money.

"We'll get to the island in about a week, i seriously dont get how someone 'accidentally' strayed that far away from their island" Usopp, who your had just been introduced to not too long ago, said. Maybe you werent really able to swim for that long huh, good that they came by then!

In the evening, Luffy casually mentioned that they were pirates, and the absolute SHOCK you got from that was enough to make you accidentally fall and bump the back of you head into a table that was behind you. "OW FUCK" you said, and at the same time, a certain marimo hissed in pain up in the training room. "Damn, that felt like a counter or something, how clumsy is my soulmate to fall like that?" He said to himself, and suddenly out of nowhere, you got very irked. "Hey why are you so angry?" Luffy said, "i dont know but i suddenly just got very pissed off." You told gim while gritting your teeth.

Chopper gave you a quick check-up to make sure you were allright after hitting your head, and you let the little tanuki thing (he got mad when you called him that) do his job. "Do you normally have a high pain tolerance?" He asked "well, whoever my soulmate is is terrible at staying away from being hurt, so i guess ive built up a bit of a pain tolerance" was the answer he got. Chopper felt a bit bad for you at that, because living with that must be living hell sometimes, which it btw very much was.

It was your third day there, and you went up to zoro because you were bored. Entering the room with a "HEY ZORO" was maybe not the greatest idea ever, because he did NOT expect anyone, so he accidentally dropped one of his not too heavy weight on his head "SHITBALLS BRO" you screamed as you felt the pain, but at the same time realised THIS IDIOT was your soulmate. He looked at you in kind of confusion as to why you'd scream that, till you put your arm out in front of him and smacked it hard, making his arm hurt just as much as yours.

Right here, right now, that was not how he expected to meet his soulmate and know its was them, but fate has its humor i guess, and what happened next was just as unexpected for him. You slowly began walking over to him, and looked him in the eyes- BAM! right square in the face he got hit with surprisingly much power, and fell onto the ground with a bleeding nose. "HUH?!? WHAT WAS THAT FOR DUMBASS?!" he said as your hands quickly flew to your face and your expression scrunched up in pain. You managed ro sniff out a "Y-YOU ASSHOLE!" before than falling to the ground and banging your fist on the floor. "YOU DUMBASS! DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW FUCKING PAINFUL IT IS TO BE SUCH AN IDIOTS SOULMATE?! DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES IVE ALMOST FAINTED IN PAIN IN PUBLIC?! IM NOT SOME KIND OF POWERHOUSE ALPHA MALE OR WHATEVER LIKE YOU, IM JUST A CIVILIAN SO THIS HAS BEEN SO PAINFUL!" You screamed at him while tears were falling onto the ground from your eyes.

Then, for the first time in his life, he realised how dumb he had been for all this time. He had always gotten mad when YOU got hurt and he felt it, but you also felt his pain. The pain of getting sliced at his chest, getting beaten half to death to succed in winning a fight, and the pain of taking luffys pain, which was the worst that he had ever felt.

"I..im sorry" he slowly said, getting up and over to you. You continued to sob, but you were trying to stop yourself from crying anymore. "Hey, could you look at me?" He said in an unexpectedly softer tone because well, you were his soulmate, so getting along with you would definitely be a good thing. You looked up at him with you cheeks stained with half dried tears, and he held a hand out for you to help you get up.

You took his hand and stood up, and he awkwardly pulled you into a hug. "Im so sorry that i caused you so much pain." He said truthfully. He didnt know what, but he suddenly felt as if he had known you for years, and so did you. I guess this was some soulmate thing, and the hug instantly became very less awkward with that feeling.

You returned the hug, gripping the fabric of his clothes on his back strongly, and he held you more securely now. Maybe having this guy as a soulmate didn't seem just as bad as before.

Ahahaha i know its kinda meh but whatevs, it iz what it iz ya know. Anyways, buh bye!

[ifmywishescametrue]

i don't know if you're still taking prompts (so please ignore this if you aren't) but i cant stop thinking about your recent buckytony fic (and how much i love breaking up and making up as a trope) - so i was wondering if you'd be up for doing smth else w that trope for buckytony?? maybe they re-unite at a mutual friend's wedding?? and it brings up emotions about their almost wedding?? idk i just really love breaking up and making up as a trope and i really love your writing :))

thank you!! I'm very much up for doing another buckytony break up/make up, plus you deserve nice things for finishing law school - congrats on that!🎉🎉hope you like this one 😊

There's a ring on Bucky's finger.

It's the first thing Tony notices when he walks into the bar for Natasha and Sharon's joint bachelorette party. He stands there in the doorway, frozen and staring until someone clears their throat pointedly behind him, and he mumbles an apology as he moves out of the way.

He thinks about turning around and not coming back, just ditching the event entirely and maybe even the wedding tomorrow, but he tosses the ridiculous thought the second it comes. He promised Sharon when she asked him to be her man of honor that he could handle Bucky being Nat's. Living on the other side of the country afforded him to miss the rest of the events and planning along the way, and he could deal with one day of being cordial to his ex, even if the day comes with walking down an aisle together.

But now there's a ring on Bucky's finger.

The silver catches the light, and it's on prominent display with his left hand wrapped around a beer bottle. It shouldn't be possible for him to have moved on that quickly. Eight months shouldn't be long enough to bury three years of memories. Three years of hopes and dreams and plans for a future built together. Years of love so blindingly intense that it burrowed into Tony's soul to make a home and refused to be evicted just because it was supposed to be over.

Tony wonders what the timeline is. Did he find someone new while Tony was still just beginning to pick up his own scattered pieces? A first date for him while Tony was barely getting out of bed. When was it that he replaced Tony as the last person to have his heart? And how did he find forever in someone else so soon after losing the one he used to call his soulmate?

Natasha notices him first, still hovering near the entrance, and she raises a single eyebrow that calls him a coward. He rolls his eyes at the accusation, though it's accurate. She elbows Sharon to catch her attention, and before he knows it the entire small group is turning their heads his way, giving him no choice but to join them.

It's less bachelorette party and more pre-wedding celebration with the crowd they've gathered, all mutual friends of both brides with no regards for gender traditions that usually come with this night. Tony used to fit in well with them all, back when gatherings like this were just a typical Friday night. But he made himself an outsider between the move to California and the breakup with Bucky. All he has now with most of them is a dead group chat that hasn't been used in months. He wonders which one of them made the new one without him in it.

Sharon is the first to pull him into a hug, then Natasha follows suit. He gets a nod from Sam, a wave from Clint, and what might pass as a smile from Steve. Bucky stares so intensely that Tony can feel his eyes with his back turned, but when Tony looks his way, he pretends to be interested in the floor.

He had a plan before the ring threw him off. Step one should have been the entrance. Head held high, shoulders square, perfect outfit that shows everything off and compliments the Malibu tan he has now. Step two should be nonchalance. A light hearted greeting to everyone, accompanied by an easy grin and relaxed body language, and catching up with subtle brags slipped in. Show them all that he's doing better than he ever was, sitting on top of the world these days, even if most of the time it feels like he's barely above rock bottom.

Step three in his ideal scenario involved Bucky breaking down and begging to get him back. Some versions even had him on his knees for it, with tears running down his face. Others required it to be raining outside, and the cloudless sky ruined that before the ring on Bucky's finger did.

With steps one and three out the window, he tries to salvage step two.

“Hey,” Tony starts, a little too loud. He swallows the lump in his throat and tries again, “Hey, Bucky. It's good to see you.”

Bucky nods, a strained, jerky motion. “Yeah, you too. How, uh, how have you been?”

“Good. Really good, actually. Company just had its highest sales quarter yet, so it’s been a little crazy around there, but good.”

“Good,” Bucky repeats, and there’s a long awkward pause.

“And what about you?” Tony asks, and then because he can’t help himself, he adds, “I see you got engaged. Or, hell, I guess it could be married, even.”

Bucky freezes with parted lips and wide eyes for the briefest of moments, like he wasn’t expecting Tony to know about it or bring it up, and his eyes shift to the ring on his hand and stay there.

“Yeah,” he says slowly. “Engaged. Last week.”

Tony ignores the ache in his chest and plasters on a smile like he’s happy for him. “Congratulations. Who’s the lucky guy?”

“Oh, you wouldn’t know him. Steve introduced us. They work together.”

“So he’s at the museum then? I thought you used to say that you hated all those stuffy guys and Steve was the only one worth knowing.”

Bucky smiles, a fond thing that widens the crack in Tony’s heart. “Yeah, well, I guess I was wrong. Felix is a great guy.”

Tony resists the urge to roll his eyes. Stupid name that probably matches a stupid, punchable face.

Some masochist thing pulls at him to make him keep digging for more information, a twisted need to know even as each word pushes the knife in deeper. He aims for casual, leaning back against one of the high top tables as he asks, “So how long have you been together?”

“Just a couple of months. Kind of fast, I know, but when you’re sure about something, it doesn’t really matter, right? Why waste time waiting?”

“Right, of course,” Tony says, a little flatter than he intends. “So why isn’t he here tonight? Hope it wasn’t to spare my feelings, because it’s really not necessary.”

Bucky falters, “It’s not? You, uh, you’re dating someone, then?”

Tony nods, and he wishes he had grabbed a drink before this so he could hide behind it as he lies through his teeth. “Only a few weeks, though. A little too early to be a wedding date, but I’m sure your guy will be there tomorrow right?”

“Oh, um, yeah, definitely. Why wouldn’t he be, right? There’s no reason I can think of,” Bucky says, stumbling around it. “But tell me more about your thing. Your person. How’s that going?”

Tony shrugs, and he finally pulls off that easy smile he’s been trying for. “Well, it’s not get engaged in a couple of months good, but it’s been really great. We’re taking it slow. Trying not to rush anything and just get to know each other first. I think it could really be something, though.”

“That’s good,” Bucky mumbles. “You deserve something good.”

He isn’t meeting Tony’s eyes anymore, almost like he’s upset that Tony moved on, and the vindictive part of Tony wants to be happy about it, but another part wants to be angry because it isn’t fair. It’s not fair to act like Tony should stay stuck in time, forever longing for him when he already moved on with someone else first. It’s hypocritical and selfish, even if Tony is lying about there being anyone else.

“Well, I’m gonna go get a drink,” Tony says, pushing down every feeling. “Should catch up with everyone else, too, while I’m at it. I’ll talk to you later.”

He heads over to the bar and isn’t surprised when Sharon joins him a moment later, right after he orders a double shot of whiskey. She puts an arm around his shoulder and asks, “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Tony laughs, running a hand through his hair. “My ex is engaged to somebody else and apparently doing really fucking well. Meanwhile, I’m making up fake boyfriends that I’m taking it slow with, because last week I went on my first real date in eight months and cried in the bathroom in the middle of it. And then, at the end of the night, he literally told me to my face that he didn’t think a second date was a good idea. We weren’t even talking about it, Sharon. He said it unprompted when we were still ten minutes from his apartment, and I was driving.”

Sharon nods slowly as she processes the rant. “He told you he got engaged?”

“Yeah, thanks for not telling me, by the way. It was really fun to get blindsided by it.”

She ignores the complaint to ask, “What else did he tell you, exactly?”

“Oh, just the whole line about how you know when you know, and Felix is such a great guy, and all that bullshit.”

“Felix,” Sharon repeats.

Tony knocks back the rest of his drink and orders another. “Please tell me he’s not better looking than me. Tell me it’s a downgrade. Don’t lie, because I know I have to meet him tomorrow, but please give me something that will make this better.”

“Well, I can guarantee he’s not as attractive as you. But he’s a little too perfect, you know? Like how could this guy possibly be real, he’s so unbelievably perfect,” Sharon says.

“I told you to make me feel better, not worse.”

Sharon shakes her head with a smile, the arm around him tightening into an approximation of hug. “I wouldn’t worry about it too much. I don’t think they’re going to last. He’s kind of flaky, too. Always cancelling at the last minute and all that. Bet he won’t even show tomorrow.”

The amusement on her face that she’s failing to hide confuses him. He’s starting to feel bad, though, for making the night about him when it should be about her and Nat.

Resolving not to dwell on it anymore, he squeezes the hand on his shoulder and says, “Alright, enough sad drinking, and definitely enough about me. We’re celebrating you and Nat and a lifetime of sickeningly wonderful happiness for both of you.”

Sharon grins, “Hell yeah, we are.”

“Shots?”

“Is that even a question?”

_____________

He wakes up with a headache and hazy memories. Shots of tequila that turned into shots of vodka when Nat got involved, then Clint’s terrible suggestion to try a shot of every liquor they had to offer. He vaguely remembers the round of toasts and drunken impromptu speeches from everyone, locking eyes with Bucky and failing to look away on both their parts. There’s a blur of wandering hands and heated, messy kisses. A bathroom stall turned into a cab ride which turned into his hotel room. He knows what he’ll find next to him when he opens his eyes, and guilt comes in full force.

“I know you’re awake,” Bucky says, voice still rough with sleep. It used to be Tony’s favorite sound in the world. “And I know we’re both sorry about what happened, but pretending to be asleep isn’t fixing nothin’.”

Tony shifts over to his back, and if there was any question before about what happened between them, the all too familiar ache in his body would answer it. He stares up at the ceiling to avoid the acres of bare skin on display next to him.

“You should probably leave,” Tony says to the walls. “I’m sure your fiancé is wondering where you are.”

“I doubt it.”

Tony puts an arm over his eyes, partly to block out the light that makes them ache and partly to hide his face. “Just go, okay? It was a mistake, and it won’t happen again, and we don’t have to talk about it.”

“Was it a mistake?” Bucky asks. “It didn’t feel like one to me.”

He doesn’t answer, and it’s soft and broken when Bucky says his name. Too much for him to handle.

Tony pushes back the blankets and searches for Bucky’s clothes in the mess they’ve made. He finds the shirt first and throws it at him. “You’re engaged, which means it was a mistake.”

His boxers are on the back of the couch, jeans right in front of the door, and they join the pile on Bucky’s lap. “You promised the rest of your life to somebody else, and I’m pretty sure fidelity is supposed to go with that.”

He tosses a shoe in the general direction of the bed, and it hits the nightstand with a loud thud. The second shoe is still in his hand when Bucky gets up and walks over to him, taking it and letting it drop to the floor.

His eyes hold a level of intensity that Tony has spent months dreaming about, and Tony couldn’t look away or move from this spot even if he tried.

“Felix isn’t real,” Bucky says. “I made him up when you asked, because I didn’t want to tell you the truth that I haven’t moved on in the slightest. That I’m so pathetic that I’ve spent the last eight months wearing an engagement ring that I bought for a guy who doesn’t love me anymore because I don’t know how to let him go.”

Tony stops breathing. “What?”

Bucky slides the ring from his finger, holding it between them so Tony can see the inscription. Always yours. He can’t remember the last time he heard the words get spoken.

“When?” Tony asks hoarsely. “When did you get that and why didn’t you ever ask me?”

“About a year ago,” Bucky says, slipping it back on his own finger. He sits back on the edge of the bed and stares down at it, twisting it around. “I thought about doing it on your birthday, but Nat and Sharon had just gotten engaged the week before and I didn’t want to take anything away from them. You were working a lot of late nights after that, and I thought it would be better to wait until things slowed down. You were so tired all the time, and you deserved a better proposal than when you’re falling asleep in the middle of dinner. It never slowed down, though. And then you got that big promotion and somehow we fell apart instead. If I’m honest, I still don’t really know how. One minute I’m getting ready to come with you, and the next you’re telling me not to bother.”

Tony sits down next to him, shoulders touching, and he pulls Bucky’s left hand into his. “You didn’t really want to go.”

“That’s not true,” Bucky says, but Tony shakes his head.

“All you talked about was how much you would miss New York. How much you’d miss your friends and your family and your job. Every day, everywhere we went. Even the fucking hot dog stands got sonnets about them. It really didn’t take a genius to figure out that you weren’t exactly looking forward to leaving.”

“I still would have gone for you,” Bucky argues. “I told you I would go anywhere with you, if it was what you wanted.”

“And then what? You move with me, and you’re miserable all the time, because my job never slows down so I’m still not around as much as you want, except now it’s compounded because you’re in a city that you hate with no one else that you know. You resent me for making you go, and the outcome is the same in the end either way.”

“Or I move with you, and I finally ask you to marry me like I’ve wanted to since almost the day we met. I find new friends and a new job, and even if it’s not perfect, it’s still worth it because at the end of the day I have a husband coming home to me.”

Tony runs his thumb over the ring and murmurs, “I wanted you to be happy. I didn’t think I could do that for you anymore.”

Bucky cups his cheek, tilting his head up to meet his eyes. “Don’t take this the wrong way, but baby, you’re an idiot.”

“Oh, thanks,” Tony laughs.

“You’re my idiot, if that helps.”

Tony smiles, still fragile but growing more hopeful. “Am I?”

“Always have been,” Bucky says. “Always will be if you stop assuming I’m going to leave you all the time. Let me decide for myself what I’m willing to sacrifice for us.”

Tony nods slowly, then says, “I’m sorry for ending it like that.”

“I’m sorry for making you feel like you had to.”

Tony climbs into his lap, circling his arms around his neck, and Bucky pulls him in closer with his hands on Tony’s hips. The ring is strange to feel against his skin, but also completely right. He wants it to stay there and to mean what it was always supposed to. Wants one of his own to match.

“We can fix it, right? We can be us again?”

“I don’t know,” Bucky says, and Tony’s heart sinks for just a moment. “Is your boyfriend as real as my fiancé?”

Tony laughs again in relief, “Yeah, they’d be a good pair.”

“I knew you had to be lying. You’ve never taken it slow in your life,” Bucky grins.

“Do you want me to start now?”

Bucky flips them over in one fluid motion, and he kisses up his throat as he murmurs, “Absolutely not.”

[ethernetchord]

lets talk: popular iwwv criticism

(disclaimer: i know criticism is subjective and thats why im doing this, i wanna look at some common points made against iwwv and dissect them just a little bit in the opposite direction. also none of this is directed at any individual- it’s all based on the general talking points i’ve seen surrounding the book.)

SPOILER WARNING !!

lack of exploration into james and oliver (+ gay characters feel performative)

i’ve seen loads of people say that oliver and james’ relationship felt very performative, a way of including the queer romnce which clearly is very important to the plot but not actually giving it any space in the novel, nor developing it to the same extent which meredith/oliver was.

oliver and meredith had a very strictly physical relationship and while he did love her, he wasn’t in love with her the way he was with james. the juxtaposition in the way that oliver/james is delivered and the way meredith/oliver is delivered is, i believe, far too repetitive to not be intentional. i actually realised upon re-reading how much focus there really is on meredith’s sexuality, even in subtleties in the book. meredith and oliver get more blatant sex scenes, get more physical parts because oliver was (to an extent) using his attraction to meredith to distract himself from his infatuation with james.

we also have to remember that oliver and james didn’t get their real moment of honesty about their relationship till extremely late into the book. i’d honestly see it as more ‘performative’ to then after or in the middle of kind lear throwing in some wild sex scene between the two. it wouldn't have fit.

“why didn’t james and oliver get together earlier then >:(((“ because the slow burn between them, the subtext, the subtle-ness, the yearning, they were all crucial to the decision which oliver made at the end. the fact that they burned so bright for each other but (oliver particularly) were so desperately repressed, that was what made this such a tragic romance. yes its tiring to read stories about queer people being repressed, yes its tiring to see the bury your gays trope. but like oliver says, it goes beyond gender.

if oliver’s second love interest was a girl, and treated this way, we’d be a lot more on board with these tropes- but the fact that james is a man, and this therefor becomes a queer relationship, makes it feel performative. i can’t convince you of anything- but i like to believe that their relationship being treated like this not only makes it so much more “heart wrenching because why! why couldn’t it work out, why couldn’t it be better!” - not because its a queer relationship but because they were soulmates.

alexander wasn’t performative. not in the slightest, rio just didn’t make being gay his entire identity. same goes for colin. just because they’re queer doesn’t mean it needs to be the only thing about them. this isn’t a lgbt novel- characters dont have to be gay just for plot. they can just be gay.

i’ve also seen people complain about not just making oliver bisexual. guys. did you read the book? he was bisexual. he was emotionally and physically attracted to both meredith and james. guys that’s literally what bisexual means.

i'm totally on board with the coming out scenes! and realisation of feelings and all that stuff- but again, not an lgbt centric novel and also- these were things oliver probably did and realised far before this book. remember that its set in 4th year, at an art school. he knew he was fruity ok. not every queer character in every queer book have to have these grandious coming out scenes or realisations. the lack there of doesn’t equal performance.

the ending was rushed and bad

believe what you will, but i don’t think james is dead. there’s a little too much ambiguity in that ending, in the extract he leaves oliver, in the “his body was never found.” so if your main quarrel with the ending is that “bury your gays” situation- please know there’s a chance- and that giving it that chance opens up so much more discussion and reader response.

yes, the ending is sad. but it’s not rushed. “but that is how a tragedy like ours or king lears breaks your heart- by making you believe the ending might still be happy until the very last second.” doing king lear, doing macbeth, doing romeo and juliet, the plays are chosen not only for reader convenience (they’re plays readers will most likely be familiar with) but also because they all, so very deeply, foreshadow a “bad” ending. killing james, makes sense. as much as people don’t want to hear it, from an authorial perspective- from the reader’s perspective and as a human being it makes sense. why do keep arguing that he “should’ve stayed alive for oliver” or that “if he really loved oliver he wouldn’t have done it” - why are we limiting a character’s entire existence down to their love interest. yes, they were best friends, yes they were set up as lovers but that doesn’t mean that that would be enough to keep james around. james was a fragile character- he was always checking with oliver if he had upset him, he was always worried, overthinking, james wasn’t strong minded- and he was suffering. the only person he had left to depend on was in prison, he was plagued with the guilt of causing the death of a classmate and letting oliver take the blame, if he did kill himself, it sure as hell doesn’t have any reason to sound forced.

“its not nearly as good as the secret history!!!!”

to be honest here buds, why the fuck do we keep comparing them so insistently. they are not the same book. iwwv wasn’t trying to be tsh 2.0, yes there are similarities because hey! guess what! books in similar genres tend to do that! always comparing it tsh when they have different motives, different plots and vastly different execution makes no sense. the only reason that they are compared is because tumblrtm dark academics like to group the two together. and yea- makes sense, but stop trying to belittle iwwv because it isn't as grandiose as tsh, because it’s a little more literal, because it’s not as intertextual as tsh. half the people saying iwwv isn’t as good as tsh are practically just subtly going “shakespeare isn’t as complicated as ancient greek huehue” stop forcing the two together and let them be separately appreciated.

the characters were flat/archetypes/etc

sigh. okay.

these characters are actors. this book shows us their transition from themselves entirely into a conjunction of the roles they’ve played and the stereotypes they’ve portrayed.

“we were so easily manipulated - confusion made a masterpiece of us.”

“for us, everything was a performance”

“imagine having all your own thoughts and feelings tangled up with all the thoughts and feelings of a whole other person. it can be hard, sometimes, to sort out which is which.”

“far too many times i had asked myself whether art was imitating life or if it was the other way around”

“it’s easier now to be romeo, or macbeth, or brutus, or edmund. someone else.”

are you seeing it now? this focus on their archetypes, this focus on the character they are; the way they see themselves not merely as human but as a walking concoction of every character they have turned into and out of. they depend on their archetypes to give them meaning. rio uses these archetypes to remind us of the submersion of her characters. they weren’t flat, their intentional lack of dimension due to their pasts is what makes them so intricate. furthermore, there's an evident subversion- the tyrant becomes a victim, the hero becomes a villain (they all become villains really), the ingenue becomes corrupted. like mentioned before, i think we forget ourselves easily reading this book but there is a great deal of emphasis on this being their last year- which is so important. the damage has been done and a lot of the issues people have with the content (or lack thereof) in this book has to do with the fact that it’s all things that would have occurred in books focusing on previous years at delletcher.

“it didn't live up to expectation” (also leading on from read tsh to this and being ‘disappointed’)

i cant argue this because its entirely subjective. whatever expectation was created for you, i cannot know that and appropriately respond however- if you liked the secret history and understood the secret history then there's a good chance you also liked and understood this book- even if not to the same extent but you must be able to recognize the authorial approach and its significance. i think a lot of ppl read iwwv (and a lot of “dark academia” texts and films) and hope to be able to romanticize the aesthetic or the concepts and then are disappointed when they are presented with mildly unlikeable and overwhelmingly human characters who aren’t easy to romanticize.

a great majority of these books are criticisms of the very culture you’re trying to romanticize, and the only time you’re willing to admit that is when boasting about the ‘self-awareness’ of the people indulging in them, and then a moment later complain about those same qualities because they don’t serve this idealized expectation.

bad rep for arts/liberal arts/ humanities students as being pretentious/cultish

as a humanities student with a great love for eng lit- all of these things are indeed pretentious and cultish. not all the time and not always and not every person- but it is a common theme. academia is overwhelmingly obsessive and extremely white-washed. people become so fast to believe that they are indulging in finer arts and are therefore a higher standard of person. academia is problematic. and the recent influx of people interested in it is good, very good because hopefully, we’ll be more diverse, more open-minded, more accepting. that's what i hope at least. if you know, as an individual, that you’re not a pretentious academic who places themselves above non-academics then that's wonderful- but there are dangers and negative sides to academia that need to be understood so that we can see to not perpetuating them.

i cant refute all points, mostly because there's a lot of good and well-explained criticism because no book is perfect. and my intentions are not to belittle anyone's opinion. these are merely opposing arguments, food for thought and to be fair- a critical look into why not everything is always going to be what we expect of it and why every ‘problem’ can be assessed.

[pettyprocrastination]

You don’t have to show this but do you think Omera would have gotten more love if she was white? I don’t ship it but her introduction was badass. I’m surprised that Din gets shipped with white bread so much. One he didn’t even speak to. The amount of fics for that compared to him and Omera is insane. I’m hoping they give him a Latina or black women love interest just to see people’s head explode.

I have ZERO issue with posting this publicly cause i wanna say: yes. 

I apologize this isn't very well written and very scattered about but here are my thoughts. 

PLEASE know I'm not trying to shame any specific writers or readers, I'm just sharing my opinions about the topic. 

(in this I'm also gonna be bringing up Ellaria sand because this isn't something only seen with Din, its seen with just about all his characters)

I think it comes to three things that are very prominent in the pedro fandom specifically: white readers not enjoying content written by/presenting woc because they feel like it doesn't directly project themselves, having an odd animosity/jealousy towards romantic leads of pedro characters and flat-out throwing away the actual characterization of his characters just to thirst for him. 

Now I will say we do have to acknowledge that I know people don't enjoy that he’s shipped with cobb vanth, because they only had a day of interaction but that’s also a mlm ship in the starwars universe so some people would like to see the representation where they can so lets keep that in mind. 

But at the same time I kind of see the mentality of “oh, its not for me? nvm” from fans when the possible romantic character is a person of color because they cant directly relate/project onto them. Which you see a lot with poc writers who make fics that have readers/oc’s that are specifically described as not being white and getting little to no notes. while others making fics that are so specifically for white people with descriptors as such but not acknowledging it when people say “hey you cant really preach inclusivity when this is very clearly written by white women for white women” which you see in moodboards, face claims, and descriptors such as “you blushed bright red” “your pale skin” “your blonde locks” . 

another BIG thing that has a part is this weird ass, juvenile wattpad-esque animosity female fans often have towards female characters who have the possibility of being a romantic lead for characters pedro plays. I know it sounds ridiculous to say, but so many fans do have this weird, almost jealous mentality to female characters who are romantic leads/have romantic tension with his character.

Like we see other female leads in the Mandalorian get lots more love than Omera, because they are mostly depicted as having a platonic relationship with Din. For exmaple, Fennec, cara, and peli, I've seen much more content for them than omera because its almost never in a romantic sense. 

Hell, before gina carano’s shit went public people were always posting about thirsting for cara dune+ how she and din were best buds and loved the relationship between them. 

And lets be real, the amount of fanfiction that the reader is essentially peli (a starky mechanic who befriends mando and becomes a kind figure to the child, who almost always becomes a live-in mechanic on the razor crest) is astronomical. You could literally switch the perspective and slap peli in and it’d make more sense but nobody wants to do that because they want to be with din, not imagine him with another female character cause they get weirdly threatened. 

(no shade to people who write that fanfiction im just SAYING)

Its not just mando either, it happens with a lot of his characters who have distinct relationships already, especially with Oberyn Martell and his lover Ellaria.  He says multiple times she is the love of his live, mother of three (i think) of his children and always accompanies him on his travels, when asked if he gets tired of her during their journeys he says “never. We share too much.”

a good majority of oberyn fanfiction either doesn't involve her at all, or writes her off as a bitch to pose animosity between her and the victim-reader or simply write her off as “she and oberyn don't love each other anymore wah-wah” even though she’s is quite literally his soulmate. 

He’s also often written to become suddenly monogamous upon meeting the reader, which just seems out of character given he is an openly polyamorous, bisexual man that talks about the joys of living life and loving freely quite often. 

Even with Marcus Moreno, when the trailer came out for We Can Be Heroes, I would see people make posts about how they hope he’s a widower instead of a married man cause they want him single.

Now I know a lot of this fandom is straight women so I don't expect them to suddenly enjoy wlw-reader relationships or polyships (even tho they do but only when its two dudes and one girl who is usually the reader but that’s a different issue) It comes down to the simple issues of throwing away the basis of the character just to thirst for pedro. (for oberyn at least)

I know some blogs on here that have gotten anons explaining the reason they dislike Ellaria that are the exact same traits Oberyn has: arrogance, sexual confidence ect. Its hot when he has it but if a female (often of color) has it, shes a bitch for some reason. 

Not even gonna get into Dave York, who was a moderately enjoyable character in the film but his character in fanfiction a good 80% of the time is “i like to cheat on my bitch of a wife with you” so lets leave it at that. 

Now. let me say there aint no shame in writing smut. I do it. I read it. And i enjoy it! But at somepoint you look at it and go “this isn’t even the character anymore” and find it a bit tiring. As well as the lack of attention writers of color get in the fandom where the main muse literally a latino man but whatever. 

This was a very long winded way of saying yes anon, I do think omera wouldve gotten more attention if she was white. But even then people still wouldn’t like her because she would pose a threat to their reader-insets. what are you gonna do I guess lmao