#even if I inconveniently start to panic about something safe while we’re at a restaurant

[badwolf109]

My ex-girlfriend, who is a licensed social worker, once fed me nuts. It was an accident, but not one that should’ve happened (everything was clearly labeled as “contains: cashews”). This was during the quarantine, so she wasn’t allowed to come back in the ER with me. On the drive home, I was trying to figure out how to delicately bring up my hurt that she’d handed me something with nuts. She clocked that I was being delicate because I didn’t want to make her feel worse than I’d assumed she already did and got mad at me.

“You're fine. It was a mistake—everyone makes those. I don't understand why you're making such a big deal out of this."

The likelihood that I will go into anaphylaxis and quickly die increases every time I'm exposes to nuts. I started having frequent panic attacks after this exposure. But she decided it would be a dealbreaker for her if her partner didn't trust her not to kill them accidentally, so the fight got dropped. (Luckily it was picked back up a couple weeks later after I told my brother what happened and he flipped out and validated that in fact it was extremely reasonable for me to be upset about what happened. Then I dumped her.)

She didn’t believe me about the severity of what happened because I didn’t go into anaphylaxis that time. That’s ableism. Straight up. From someone who was, supposedly, deeply invested in anti-oppression work and had multiple degrees in psychology.

Allergies are absolutely disabilities. And people are deeply, deeply shitty about them.

I wasn’t going to derail the disability pride month post for people with peanut allergies but in relation to that topic

I have never seen another allergy that has been so viscerally hated and mocked by people working in education like nut allergies. I’ve seen fellow teachers cringe that their classroom was the “nut free” classroom that year. Support staff that are trained and willfully don’t follow cross contamination protocol in the lunchroom because it’s too “tedious” or “time-consuming”. Full preschools + childcare centers that refuse to accommodate nut allergies. Schools where the only free lunch is a PB&J. Before/after school programs and summer programs whose food curriculum has nuts and doesn’t provide an alternative activity.

Allergy discrimination is so so insidious and prevalent. It’s happening behind their back and it is everything from the exposure joke to possibly causing someone to go into anaphylaxis from willful ignorance.

Also other parents in the classroom are guilty too. The “not my child not my problem” brain rot means that those lunchboxes are like bombs for airborne exposure allergies

[restlessfandoming]

“the president and the troublemaker” (part 13) (chilumi fic)

“Lumine is the student council president and Childe is the school’s number one troublemaker. They cross paths more than they’d like. Especially when Childe finds out Lumine’s big secret. Highschool AU à la Kaichou wa Maid-sama.”

[part 1] [part 2] [part 3] [part 4] [part 5] [part 6] [part 7] [part 8] [part 9] [part 10] [part 11] [part 12]

[Fic Masterlist] // [AO3 Link] // [Main AO3]

* * * 

im really sorry for the massive time between each update. i am truly in the struggle  * * * 

the president and the troublemaker (part 13)

“I’m a professional fighter,” Lumine said to Venti. 

Venti stared at her for a long second, before slowly raising one of his brows. “What are you talking about, LuLu?” 

She bit her lip. “You know, like the UFC. That’s my job. I’m a MMA fighter.” 

Again, Venti stared at her, then glanced between her and the unconscious men on the floor. 

Lumine braced herself for him to laugh, to ridicule her, or even shy away in fear—how terrifying it was that she was powerful enough to do all that and even more. He would be disappointed, a bright student like her getting involved with the activities of delinquents. 

“That’s…,” Venti started. Then, he went to Lumine, grabbing her hands, eyes bright. “So cool!”

Lumine looked at him, silent with shock. 

“Wow, I would have never guessed!” he went on. “But I should have known. You’ve always been so strong.” 

“So you’re not...disappointed?” she asked. 

“Of course not. I would never be disappointed in you,” he said, giving her a soft smile. 

Lumine’s eyes stung. From relief? From gratefulness? “Thank you, Venti.” 

His smile widened. “Just wait until everyone at school hears about this! They’re gonna think you’re so cool, and you’re gonna get so popular, and—”

Lumine pulled her hand away from his, a trembling panic overtaking her nerves. “Venti, no one can find out about this,” she blurted. 

His brows furrowed. “Why not? You should be proud of what you do.”

Lumine stood in silence, ruminating. Proud of what I do? 

Venti started reaching out towards her when there was an audible THUMP from the ground. 

Childe stood from where he had hit one of the men on the floor. “He was waking up,” he said after taking in Venti and Lumine’s worried looks. “We should leave now.” 

Lumine let her gaze linger on Venti—his brows furrowed from either confusion or frustration or both—before turning to Childe. 

“Yeah…let’s go back the way we came and try to backtrack,” she suggested. She and Childe started to make their way back.

Venti didn’t budge. “How does Childe know?” 

“What?” Lumine answered. 

“You said you don’t want anyone to know.” His teal green eyes narrowed, ever so slightly, at Childe. “So he’s an exception?” 

“He found out on his own,” Lumine said. Why is he doing this right now? We need to go—

“And I’m her coach,” Childe said, crossing his arms. There was the tiniest curve of a smile on his lips.

Venti let out a meek laugh. “He’s your coach? So do you spend a lot of time together?” 

She threw a glare at Childe. “Yes—Well, I don’t know. I guess.” She shook her head. “This isn’t the time to be talking about this. Let’s go.” She marched off without another word.

As she walked back the direction they came from, she heard the two boys footsteps behind her. She kept her pace up, however, not wanting to speak to either of them at the moment. Any time either of them entered her peripheral vision, she sped up away from them. Stupid boys and their stupid jealously. 

Eventually, after trying to navigate the twists and turns of the alleyways, the group had somehow ended up in a completely new location. 

Lumine first noticed when the scent of salty sea waves hit her nose. Then, was the shuddering of ocean waves lapping against the shore line, and the groaning of metal ships floating in the water.

“Looks like we’re at a dock,” Childe remarked. 

“How did we even get here?” Venti wondered. 

Lumine rubbed at her forehead. “How do we get out?”

The three of them stood silently, thinking, watching as a group of fishermen unloaded from a large docked ship, and funneled into a nearby building—tall and silvery sleek. 

Childe murmured something to himself before heading towards the building himself. “Follow me,” he said to Lumine and Venti. 

The two shared a questioning look, before following Childe forward. 

They all entered the building, finding themselves in a large lobby, business men and women scooting past. Childe instructed Venti and Lumine to wait in the corner as he went alone to approach the receptionist. 

Lumine watched curiously as the receptionist looked at Childe, a mix of wary and annoyance. Childe started saying something to the lady, his face lifted in confidence. The longer he went on, the receptionist’s expression shifted to disbelief, slowly picking up the telephone and making a call. 

The receptionist kept her eyes on Childe while talking on the phone, with Childe smiling right back at her. As the phone call went on, her face stretched into shock, eventually handing the phone right to Childe with wide eyes. 

Lumine furrowed her brows as Childe took the phone, turning away so she no longer saw his face. What in the world is he doing?

When he finished his conversation, Childe turned back to the receptionist, but kept hold on the phone. He gestured to Lumine, and after a nod from the receptionist, he waved her over. 

Lumine awkwardly walked up to the desk, ignoring Venti’s whispered questions behind her. Upon reaching Childe, he held out the phone to her. 

“All yours,” he said. There was something in his expression Lumine hadn’t quite seen before—a sheepishness of sorts, a humbled look that didn’t seem possible for him. 

She hesitantly took the phone, eyes looking to the receptionist who placed the receiver towards her with a smile—much different than her initial standoffish disposition. 

Lumine looked down at the keypad, her fingers already pressing the only number she could remember in the moment. The phone barely rang once before someone immediately picked up.

“Hello?” Aether’s panicked voice crackled on the other end. 

Lumine let out a shaky sigh of relief. “Aether, it’s me—”

“LUMINE!” he interrupted. “Are you okay? Where are you?” 

The slew of Aether’s worried questions bombarded her ear, and she almost laughed. “I’m fine,” she enunciated over his questioning. “I’m safe here with Childe. And Venti.”

“God, you two…,” Aether murmured. “Where are you?”

“Where are we?” Lumine repeated, looking up at the receptionist. The lady quickly pulled out a business card, the address of the building clearly printed; Lumine repeated the address to Aether. “We wound up here because I chased after some asshole who stole all our stuff.” 

There was shuffling on Aether’s end, and she heard him talking to someone in the background. The line crinkled as he returned to the phone. “Okay, I just told Miss Ninguang,” he said. “She wants to talk to you.” 

Lumine swallowed the lump in her throat. The school principal. Oh, I’m definitely in trouble… 

“Miss Lumine?” Ninguang asked. 

“Yes, hello, Miss Ninguang,” Lumine answered. “I am so sorry for the inconvenience; I—”

“Please, do not worry yourself,” Ninguang said, her voice reassuringly mellow. “I am just glad to hear you and your friends are safe.” A chuckle. “We were really quite besides ourselves at your disappearance.” 

Lumine nearly cried in relief. “We-We’re not in trouble?”

“Of course not,” the principal said. “We just want to make sure to get you back safely.” 

“Thank you. Thank you, Miss Ninguang.” 

There was a pause, and Lumine could imagine Ninguang’s small smile. “Now, for the safety of everyone, we’ll meet back up in the morning. For now, it would be best for everyone to rest for the night.”

The night? Lumine glanced out of the large office windows, and blinked at the darkened sky in disbelief. Have we really been lost that long?! 

“From the address Aether gave me, there should be an inn within walking distance from where the three of you are. Stay there for the night, and we will be there to pick you up in the morning.” 

“Stay in the inn for the night? Miss Ninguang, I’m so sorry, but all of our money was stolen—”

“Do not worry. We will call them and make the reservation for you. Please, just rest up. I am sure it has been a stressful day for you.” 

“Th-Thank you, Miss Ninguang.” 

“I trust you. Stay safe.” Then, the line clicked off. 

Lumine slowly handed the phone back to the receptionist, legs shaky from the relief flooding her body. Finally, the light at the end of the tunnel… 

“Well?” Childe asked. “What’s the plan?”

Lumine relayed the information about the nearby inn. 

“Will you be needing a car ride there, Mister Ajax?” the receptionist asked Childe. 

Lumine’s eyes flashed to him. Ajax?

“No, thank you,” he quickly said. “We’d better get going now.” He sauntered away from the desk.

Lumine jogged up to him. “Ajax?” she questioned. 

She saw his body lock up. “It’s nothing,” he said.

A scoff. “Obviously not. How did you—”

“What’s going on?” Venti asked, skipping over to them. He looked over at the receptionist desk. “What was that all about?”   

“We’ve got rooms at a nearby inn thanks to Lady Ninguang,” Childe said. “Let’s get there quickly before the night gets even darker.” He rushed out of the building. 

Venti shot Lumine a confused look. “Uh, what’s wrong with him?”

“Who knows?” Lumine muttered. 

Childe had always been very straightforward with her, rarely hiding any secrets. 

So why was he hiding something now?

* * *

The inn—Wangshu Inn—was a quaint wooden building lit up with glowing lanterns and paintings plastered along the walls. The lobby and outdoor restaurant had a few groups strewn about, a diverse grouping of travelers. Thankfully, Lumine, Childe, and Venti didn’t look too out of place. 

The three approached the lady at the front desk, a woman named Verr Goldet, with Lumine asking about their reservation. 

“Yes, we just received that phone call about your situation,” she said kindly. “We have the last two rooms ready for you.” 

“Oh,” Lumine uttered. She had assumed there would be three rooms, one for each of them. “I guess Venti and Childe can share a room—”

“I am not sharing a room with him,” Childe said. 

“Ehe, I wasn’t going to say anything, but I will not be sharing a room with the likes of him either,” Venti retorted. 

“Oh, I am so sorry,” Verr Goldet interrupted. “I didn’t realize there are three of you! The last two rooms are single bed only.” 

Lumine’s jaw barely had time to drop before Venti was pulling on her arm. “Let’s have a sleepover like when we were younger, LuLu! We can build forts, watch movies—”

Childe’s hand slid down Lumine’s arm, shoving’s Venti’s hands away. “The only way that’s happening is in your dreams, buddy.”

Lumine shrugged off both of the boys, leaning in towards Verr Goldet. “There are absolutely no other rooms available?” Any combination of the three of them would surely result in a dead body in the morning. 

Verr Goldet started typing away at her computer. “I’ll double check for you!” 

The sound of Childe and Venti hissing insults at each other made Lumine snap around. “Just. Go to the rooms. I will figure where I’m staying for the night. Alone,” she said definitively, pulling the two keys off the counter and holding them out in front of her. 

There was a pause as the two of them stared at the keys. Childe was the first to grab one. 

“Guess this is goodnight then,” he said. He pressed a swift kiss to Lumine’s forehead. “I’ll see you in the morning, Lumi.” Just as quickly, he left, disappearing into the elevator, leaving Lumine’s forehead (along with the rest of her face) to melt with boiling heat. 

Before she had time to process that, Venti’s cheeks puffed, and he planted a kiss on the side of Lumine’s face. “Goodnight, LuLu. If you still want to pig out on junk food, you know where to find me,” he said, jingling his room key. He quickly disappeared into the elevator as well.

Stupid boys. Stupid boys. Stupid boys. Lumine’s mind buzzed. And who was causing this sensation? 

“I am so sorry, ma’am,” Verr Goldet said, bringing Lumine back to reality. “On such short notice we truly gave you the last two rooms.” She clicked around on the computer a little more. “I can find another inn for you to stay at if you’d like.”

Lumine took a deep breath in. Her body was already feeling weighty with fatigue, and she didn’t want to complicate the situation even more. “No, that’s alright. I’ll just...stay in one of the rooms.” 

Verr Goldet nodded. “Which room would you like a key to?”

* * * 

Standing outside the door, Lumine suddenly felt a pang of anxiety burn in her gut. Was she really about to do this? Was it a completely idiotic choice of hers? It wasn’t too late: she could turn right back around and take Verr Goldet’s offer of staying at a separate inn. 

But it wasn’t like she could avoid this choice forever, lest the two boys kept fighting for eternity.

And this was the right choice. She knew it in her heart, no matter how much pain it would cause the other one. She cared for them both, deeply. But in different ways. One as a good friend, the other...something more. 

She started to push the key into the lock, but stopped herself as images of her walking in someone changing brought blood rushing to her head. 

She cleared her throat and knocked on the door instead. 

Seconds passed, and Lumine’s heartbeat picked up, just a bit. Was it anticipation? 

The door opened, and Childe stood there, fully clothed, thankfully. 

He stared at her in silence, as if in disbelief, not sure if she was really there. 

“Move,” was all Lumine could say, feeling heat creep up her spine.

He blinked, and stood to the side, still silent. Lumine stepped through the doorway, moving her way to the corner of the room, and plopping herself on the armchair. Wordlessly, she yanked a blanket from the bed, and wrapped herself in it, then closing her eyes. 

Maybe neither of them would speak. Maybe it would make the situation more bearable. Childe, please, don’t say anything—

“Take the bed,” he said, pulling the blanket off of her. “I’m not having you sleep in an armchair for the night.” 

She tried pulling the blanket back. “It’s fine. You take the bed.” 

A tsk. “Why are you always so difficult?” 

“I am not diff—”

Childe picked her up from the waist, tossing her on the bed. Then he tossed the blanket on top of her. “There. Just sleep now.” 

Her chest fluttered as her breath shortened under the blanket. “And you say I’m the difficult one,” she grumbled. She kept the blanket over her face for as long as she could, not wanting to make eye contact with Childe. 

After a while, she peeled it off for air, and couldn’t help but glance over to the armchair where Childe was sitting, eyes closed. It was obvious he was uncomfortable, his lanky legs crossed awkwardly, and his neck looking oddly stiff. 

Lumine let out a disgruntled groan, and turned on her side so her back was to Childe. “Sleep in the bed before you break your neck in your sleep,” she said. “Just...stay on your side.” 

A long pause. Lumine thought he had fallen asleep. 

“Are you sure about that, Lumi?” he asked. 

“Do it before I change my mind and make you sleep in the bathtub instead.” 

He chuckled lightly. The bed weighed down as he climbed on. Lumine glanced over her shoulder, finding Childe’s back turned to her. 

“I’m not going to do anything you don’t want me to do, Lumi,” he said, as if sensing her eyes on his back. 

She quickly turned her head back, heat flushing into her cheeks. “Good. Because I’d beat you up.”

“I know you would.” 

They laid there in silence, in the dark for a while, backs to each other. 

Lumine couldn’t fall asleep. And she was sure Childe couldn’t either. 

“Why’d that lady call you Ajax?” Lumine asked quietly. 

“Curious about me? I’m flattered.” 

“Nevermind. Goodnight.” 

“It’s my birth name,” he said. “And that place is actually owned by my father.” 

Images of his luxurious mansion flashed in Lumine’s mind. 

“That entire dock, actually, is mostly his. He, uh, runs a very big fishing company. Very famous. Very rich.” 

“Oh,” was all Lumine could utter. That amount of wealth was something she could only dream about. “And you don’t tell anyone because...?”

“We all have our secrets, don’t we, Pres?” he reminded. “People are greedy. If anyone truly knew who I was, all I’d ever be used for is my money.” 

“That’s...very true,” she responded. How...sad. “Is there a reason why you’re not at some big fancy boarding school then?” 

Childe laughed. “Can you imagine me in that kind of environment? I’m not interested in that at all.” 

The bed shifted as Childe moved around. Lumine glanced over her shoulder again, finding Childe laying on his back, eyes open and staring at the ceiling.

“Besides,” he continued. “If I had gone to one of those schools, I wouldn’t have met you.”

Lumine turned onto her back as well. “You would’ve met me anyways,” she murmured. “You ran into me at the arena, remember?” 

“You think so?”

“Our paths would’ve crossed eventually...right?” 

A beat of silence. Fluttering of breaths. 

“Do you regret meeting me?” 

Something about his words, the way he said them, made Lumine’s entire body seize up. It was almost the quietest she had ever heard Childe speak, the tiniest tinge of fear, like his heart had hissed it out before he even really knew what he was saying. 

“No,” she answered, just as quiet, her heart responding to his. 

Another slight pause. Then a small exhale from Childe, breath lilting in a soft laugh. 

“You know. It’s been quite a lonely existence. Before you,” he said. 

Lumine looked over at him. His hand was resting on his chest—right where that huge scar was. 

It was rare to see him so vulnerable, and her to be just as such. Her past self wouldn’t have been able to fathom this happening with Childe of all people.

But just like she said, she didn’t regret it. 

He understood her, better than herself sometimes. And there wasn’t anyone in Childe’s life who came close to knowing who he really was. They both wore facades of sorts, but not around each other. Not anymore. 

Her hand started reaching out without thought. It was the right thing to do, to comfort him, to connect with him. 

Lumine’s hand sat atop Childe’s. “You’re not so lonely anymore, right?”

She felt his hand flex under hers, hesitant. Then, he relaxed, and his fingers intertwined with hers. “Of course not.” 

The warmth from their hold sparked something in her. The warmth of a promise she had made.

She finally turned onto her side, completely facing him. “Did I do it?” Her amber eyes met with his. “Did I save you?” 

He stared at her, gaze lost in gaze. He smiled, small, but real, genuine, from the heart. “Yes.” He brought her hand to his lips, lips brushing over her knuckles. “You saved me, Lumine.” 

She stared at him, wide-eyed with anticipation, heart beating in a frenzy. She swore her chest was going to burst. 

“I love you,” she said. 

…

Childe was frozen, speechless for once.

He’s surprised. He was never surprised. He was always so calm and collected. 

Should I have even said it? No, she had to. She was going to explode otherwise.

“Lumi, are you serious—”

“Yes, I’m serious. I can’t explain it; I just do and I know it sounds crazy, but you—”

He pulled her close and kissed her. 

He kissed her, and this time, she kissed him back. 

* * *

[part 14]