#essays im writing for school

[strange-ness-is-me]

I'm just going to start to post my essays for school here.

That's it, I'm not done with the one I'm working on currently. But guess what! It includes Peril! AGAIN!!

[chillyfeetsteak]

I first became fascinated with it a few years ago when I noticed it out an airplane window on a flight from Texas to Southern California. In an expanse of endless desert, suddenly, a vast body of water. When I got home, I immediately looked it up on a map. The Salton Sea.

It’s the largest landlocked body of water in California. It sits right on top of the San Andreas Fault at over 200 feet below sea level. It is more than twice as salty as the Pacific Ocean. It is completely toxic. And I had never heard of it before then.

(photo essay under the cut)

In the early 1900s the Colorado River was diverted through a series of irrigation canals in order to provide water for the farmlands of Imperial Valley. One of the head-gates broke during a flood, and the desert basin filled with water for 2 years before it was fixed. The unexpected lake soon became a popular vacation destination; it was stocked with fish, and resorts and hotels popped up along its shores. It became known as a great place for sport fishing, waterskiing, and yacht parties. Big name celebrities visited. At one point, it had more annual visitors than Yosemite.

Salton Sea has no outlet, and is only filled via agricultural runoff. As the water evaporated in the hot desert sun, the lake became more and more saline. Chemicals began to build up from the run off causing toxic algae blooms, and mass die-offs of fish and birds started in the 80s. By the 90s, the beaches were littered with fish gills and bird bones and the resorts were abandoned. The lake began to dry up as irrigation run-off was diverted away. The exposed lake bed is also toxic, and the high desert winds kick up the dust, making the air poisonous. 

Despite the unpleasant odor, the noxious air and the summer temperatures regularly reaching 120°, a renaissance of sorts began in the early 2010s. Artist and nomad colonies began to spring up around Salton Sea. Bombay Beach, once a popular resort destination, is now mostly a ghost town, but the folks who remain have turned the ruins on the shores into an outdoor art installation gallery where the found-art sculptures are cyclically destroyed by the elements and then replaced with new ones. Many of the houses and RVs in town are themselves art pieces.

In nearby Slab City, a settlement of off-the-grid lifestylers, you can find even more folk art. Salvation Mountain is a manmade hill painted with bright colors and bible verses and maintained by a community of volunteers. East Jesus is a sculpture garden and art installation. 

This past weekend my partner and I finally made the pilgrimage to the Sea. California has the benefit of being home to a huge array of biomes. In just a couple of hours you can travel from snowy mountain peaks to lush oases to endless sand dunes. Driving the hour or so south from Palm Springs towards Salton Sea is like driving towards the end of the world.

Bombay Beach especially enamored me. The beach is crusted with salt and millions of tiny shells and bones. It smells awful, like sewage and chemicals and low-tide and rotting fish. You drive out onto the beach and park anywhere amongst the sculptures and deteriorating resort ruins. The art feels raw in a way I haven’t experienced before. It reminds me of seeing paleolithic cave art. Humans made this, with no motivation other than to create something intriguing or beautiful or sad. Not much can live out here, but what you find fills me with a great adoration for humanity. Despite the asphyxiation of the natural world, the human spirit persists.

[ghost-bxrd]

I am SO normal about Jason Todd and all the little ways his ptsd is depicted in both canon and fanon. Totally. not

[wanderinggoddess]

Arun, in Mughal Era dress

(i had fun researching the fashion history so im gonna include a bit of info under the cut for anyone interested!)

First, Armand is dressed more typically for the upper class or royalty, but I wanted to paint him all dolled up. This would have been somewhat typical dress for Mughal Empire (roughly the 16th-18th centuries) royalty. Men of all classes would typically wear the Jama (the overcoat). I depicted this one as made of Dhaka Muslin, one of the finest and rarest fabrics produced from the Dhaka region. The technique has since been lost, but at the time was incredibly sought after. So much so that during the British colonizers would take the artisans and materials and force them into reproducing the fabric for little to know compensation. Dhaka Muslin was so fine that it was practically transparent, and was worn by members of the upperclass across the world. I read somewhere that it was used to dress statues of greek goddesses. Another little detail is that Armand's Jama is fastened to the right, typical of a Muslim man, rather than to the left (a Hindu man).

I based this loosely off of Caravaggio's Bachus and Depictions of Prince Salim.

All the info I got was from these three youtube videos, so it's not like any serious research!

[ceilidho]

Me: I don't like fauxcest so I'll avoid the tag/ block any accounts.

Also me: I want a daddy Dom who's really big on being a prodiver, probably got daddy issues himself, is an older man and financially secure. Makes sure I'm fed, well dressed and happy. Maybe even makes me live with him so he can just freeuse me and have something to look after because he just really wants to-

Like. I know it ain't the same but everyday it feels like it's borderline treading into that territory and idk if I can face myself or have the strength to accept that about myself. Like I use to be a puritan prude in my youth so the fact I ended up with a daddy kink would make my teen self disgusted. But ya know, shit happens.

I probably won't ever pass over that territory as I do get icked out by the idea of referring to a sexual partner as 'dad' or anything like that. So it's clearly not for me but I need some people to look at themselves TRUELY look at the stuff they're into or want in a partner coz probably like me, they are one kink/good fic/wild fantasy away from the "gross icky kinks!!" They wanna ban so much

Ever since I became an adult and started exploring what I like, letting myself read fics I was like "I'm not gonna like this but I'm desperate for content" and then come out of a changed person - I do start caring less. Do I still have my own opinions and icks and such? Yeah but like, the best thing about the Internet is that you can just block tags, block people or images that don't agree with you. Keep to your bubble of people who agree with you and such, but like, if you're not atleast aware or open to the fact your views may be hypercritical or even abit weird or taboo yourself - that's just destined to fail.

I think a lot of people can't separate identity from interests either, or they feel incredibly locked in with their identity.

like, you're allowed to find things gross, block them, or enjoy reading certain topics but only to an extent (like you won't allow yourself to enjoy anything beyond your limit because you're scared about what you'll uncover about yourself). it's also fine to one day come back to those same things and reevaluate your original opinion.

I'm not sure how to describe this but I feel like a lot of people have this tendency to equate any Thing they enjoy with subsuming that thing into their personality/identity, and if you think that way, then obviously any potential interest seems like a Threat to the persona/identity you've been meticulously building your entire life. which is terrifying! i do understand that there's a large group of people that probably equate reading/enjoying any content that's remotely dark to a real life want.

I personally think the most generous thing you can do for yourself is say "okay, I enjoyed that. it doesn't have to mean anything." you can read the kinkiest erotica ever and then go on to enjoy a vanilla sex life (or no sex life! tons of asexual people enjoy erotica). it simply doesn't have to be a big deal.

and this is also not saying you have to enjoy or force yourself to enjoy content that disgusts you. the brain is just complex. if you're living life in a way that is compassionate and avoids causing harm to other people, but some of your interests/kinks tend to veer towards the dark/taboo, just give yourself the grace to realize that an interest is not this Big, Horrible thing that'll destroy you and turn you into something monstrous.

[lazycranberrydoodles]

its prosecutor jiang wanyin!!!! oh fuck!!! / gifs + au rambling below the cut / follow for more mdzs x aa crossover stuff :3

all the gifs i made (poses traced off franziska):

hes so similar to franziska when you think about it. theyre both deeply insecure tsundere adoptive younger sibling of successful main characters. who carry whips. something something edgeworth choosing death and wwx actually dying also

his share code is HWFEFF if you wanna use him in a trial! you can't share backgrounds but heres the scenery from the donghua i used.

the easiest way to put custom stuff into objection.lol is to send it in discord and then use the link from opening it in your browser :)

a whole lot of AU stuff

the art im making is for if mdzs was an ace attorney game, playing from WWX's POV to solve various mysteries/cases over the course of the plot. so this scene would be from turnabout goddess, which would loosely cover the dafan mountain mystery.

cases include:

Turnabout Revenge (Mo Manor, quick introductory first case)

Turnabout Goddess (Dafan mountain, the good times flashback)

Turnabout Saber (the man-eating castle (omg hiii nhs))

The Blind Turnabout (Yi City arc)

Turnabout Deviation (the Koi Tower conference, Empathy on NMJ ala turnabout memories or beginnings. opening cutscene is his qi deviation)

The Blood-Soaked Turnabout (second Burial Mounds siege, flashbacks: Xuanwu, Sunshot, YLLZ, Nightless City massacre)

Turnabout Lotus Seeds (testimony about JGY, tree scene, golden core reveal, bathtub scene. opening cutscene could be JGS' death but that would make it canon rather than ambiguous)

Turnabout Confession (Guanyin temple)

the problem with splitting novel!mdzs into turnabouts is that flashbacks are a huge chunk of the book but they don't have mysteries/ cases to solve so they've gotta be lumped together with present day stuff. imo? many of the flashbacks would likely have to be abridged so they could be retold ala DL-6, SL-9, or the fourth grade incident, where characters talk about it over some pieces of art. this is really difficult when theres a metric ton of unspoken, complex, and signifcant history between every character lmao

there's not as much of a problem with the cql timeline but i have not finished it. so.

the opening cutscenes in ace attorney always show the murder and/or the murderer plotting. the first cutscene of the game would be MXY summoning WWX, muttering about getting revenge on his family (it would also be good for him to mention the yllz being dead because that's how the novel starts.) cut to WWX's POV as he wakes up covered in blood and the investigation segment begins.

for investigations of monsters (goddess, saber, etc) the cutscene would be a scene of some poor throwaway cultivator getting their shit wrecked.

it would be cool to make a breakdown for JGY but again I need to review that scene cause I don't know who I'd base him on. maybe Vasquez or Dahlia.

tell me your thoughts!! i'm working off of a mdzs summary/ skimming the novel because i don't remember it too well so if i get anything wrong please yell at me

Jin Ling's sprites & Nie Huaisang's sprites / masterpost

[spaciebabie]

you get ta college and realize that everybody here is just Some Guy™ and has been Some Guy™ for their whole lives. the veteran seniors are having breakdowns right next ta the freshmen in the library, our final essays for the semester are started and finished two days b4 its supposed ta b turned in and all our rough drafts look like somebody rubbed 3 braincells on a google doc and then puked on it

[writterings]

me with my 18 year old students that i teach at a college

[processed-meat]

okay new sona hi. im not replacing joey i just wanted one i felt more emotionally and mentally aligned with. im probably still going to keep joey as my main one

[lord-save-me]

This is John, he’s a little evil but at least his music’s good

[sea-buns]

hey to a gorgug liker what do you think about his nightmare section from sophomore year? cause I feel like the horror there is less “ah my grandparents were racist” and more “fuck am I being a stereotype? are the people who hate me right about me?” cause wrt to his having to modulate between barbarian and artificer in fhjy it’s like. idk

oh boy do I have thoughts

Tbh, I had zero recollection of the racism stuff until reading this. It was just SO MINOR. His trial in the forest felt really lackluster to me. I feel like everyone else's really dug into an issue at the core of their character and his felt more like "everyone is getting a trial, what do we do for gorgug?" And idk if that was just a bad delivery/call on Brennan's part or if it could have been helped by Zac engaging more in it but it just. Didn't feel like anything. It was a lot more about the dice than the horror of the claustrophobia and the bugs and you've never fit in anywhere you live to make yourself smaller wherever you go you're just the loser who hits hard. Like yeah I guess there was an overarching theme of Gorgug gaining confidence in himself but it was done very poorly imo.

And I think his trial in the forest was wrong for putting such an emphasis on his intelligence. I think that would have been much better suited in fy, back when he was still being heavily bullied, but beyond that it felt like a quick and easy thing for them to grab. Yes, he had insecurities about his intelligence with all the complications with Zelda. But, to me, the focus of fhsy was his HEART. It put a spotlight on how his social circle has grown, and his bully is his friend now, and he's not alone anymore. His interactions with Ayda, the friendship book, trying to help Fabian, I believe in you spring break, it's Gorgug keep going. I made a post earlier in the season (including a great addition by another user) that I think articulates that emphasis on his emotional intelligence very well.

Fhjy HOWEVER. I think it's doing everything that sy failed at. It's giving him space to have an inner conflict. It's addressing lots of little issues and conflicts he's had over the campaign and combining them into one coherent piece. Like, guy was in a relationship pretty much all of fy, and then dealt with the fallout in sy, but I don't think we've EVER seen as much quality relationship development with Gorgug as we have in jy. He and Fig spent an entire summer together trapped in a tour bus and no season has indicated that bond and friendship more than this one. He and Riz have found something to bond over, meanwhile in previous seasons there was pretty much zero one-on-one personal interaction between them. Fabian expressed sadness over Gorgug leaving the Owlbears, because it was the only thing they had that was just for them to hang out and be friends.

Just with that, we're already doing leagues more with Gorgug's character than we ever have. And I haven't even STARTED on his barbificier journey, oh dear god lmao.

Gonna preface this bit with a post I made before the season even started. It was about Zac's steady improvement in his performances with every PC, and how I was predicting that it was gonna culminate into a Gorgug that does him the justice he deserves. It was initially supposed to be a criticism, but I got a little lost in the sauce of loving my boy lol. Still very relevant to the topic of this ask!

God, where do I START?? Addressing his relationship with rage? I'll be honest, I didn't think that would ever be used as a character arc. And I'm not even sure why I've felt that way. I just didn't think... I didn't think about how he might've had a dislike for his own rage. Like, the WAY he rages isn't bad by any means, but I don't think it ever crossed my mind how actually harmful his lessons to sing to combat rage were. No, I did not like the way Porter went about teaching him (a bit too unsupportive of his capabilities and reminiscent of shitty teachers for my liking). But his point about EMBRACING anger; that rage is not bad and does not— should not— need to be stifled. THAAAAT. That opened up such an interesting dialogue for Gorgug.

I do appreciate the beginnings of Gorgug's interest in artificing in fhsy. I think the crumbs of it back then did a great job of leading into his larger commitment to multiclassing. And I think what he's been doing with it this season is exactly what was lacking in his section of the nightmare forest. His trial was a puzzle, based entirely on die rolls, where his solution after failing even when he's assisted by the enemy is to essentially give up. I understand that facing their fears was the whole point of the trials, but his section came off as incredibly anticlimactic and unfulfilling. Just the fact that it was a trial based on stat numbers more than the development of the character itself.

Where junior year succeeds in actually showcasing his intelligence and the evolution of the worth he holds in himself is with the hands-on approach it takes. Yes, the academic rolls are still dice and stats, but there's a physical manifestation that wasn't there before. Gorgug is smart when it comes to getting his hands dirty. It is in the practical applications of his skills that his brand of intelligence shines the most.

And while, once again, I did not LIKE Porter's heavy resistance to multiclassing....I have to admit that I don't think Gorgug would have had such a boost in confidence without that struggle. Even if my boy had trouble expressing it to Porter verbally, HE STOOD UP FOR HIMSELF. Instead of simply rolling over and agreeing that he wasn't built for a technical class and it was stupid to try– he was DEFIANT.

The kid who said "I'm a dumbass. Eat me you stupid bug." took on FOUR CLASSES. Three school years worth of artificer simultaneously. AND stayed with the Owlbears. AND went along on party missions to help Kristen's candidacy. AND was always on deck to help the party with the overarching plotline.

AND HE ACED IT!!! THE FIRST BARBIFICER THAT THE AGUEFORT ADVENTURING ACADEMY HAS EVER SEEN!!!!! He is paving the way for every unprecedented multiclass that follows.

Just in comparison to who he was in the previous season, the amount of drive and self-worth he's gained is astounding. In my eyes, it's done more than enough to makeup for the way his development fell flat in sophomore year.

i hope this fulfilled the ask in the way you were hoping! i told you i'd get carried away lmao. writing a bunch about any of zac's characters is always such a joy. gorgug had always been my favorite of the bad kids but i always found myself wishing he went deeper, y'know? and now it's real. my precious anxious boy has been handled so well. and watching zac's growth as a performer has been such a blast.

thanks for the ask! :D

[strange-ness-is-me]

New academic essay just dropped!!

Freedom is not eternal.

Freedom, unlike most perceptions of it, is a state of being. A temporary condition that is achieved through unshackling oneself from something, or someone detrimental to one’s existence. The only way to achieve freedom is to acknowledge that something isn’t good for you, it is hard to do, especially if that situation blinds you with pleasure, it is an addiction. However that isn't the entirety of how to achieve this state of freedom, sometimes the harm can be external coming from an outside source, but sometimes it can be something that you put on yourself. The harmful circumstance controls your life, restricting you from attaining what you need, such as food, self-determination, and economic freedom, among other things. Life will always send things to obstruct your freedom, it is up to you to claim it back.

Mary Wollstonecraft was a brilliant lady, she was the mother to Mary Shelley.  Not only did she mother one of the most revered authors of history, but she also was an activist for women's rights. For her and a lot of women their freedoms were being restricted by the patriarchy, a government ruled primarily by cishet white men. Wollstonecraft found this to be detrimental to her freedom and so she fought back against the patriarchy as much she could. Unfortunately, women especially those of higher class weren't allowed to fight physically, so Wollstonecraft decided to write letters to the legislature. She wrote letters to persuade the entirely male legislature to at least include women in the votes and to have a voice when making decisions about laws. Wollstonecraft says in the letter A Vindication of the Rights of Woman “But, if women are to be excluded, without having a voice, from a participation of the natural rights of mankind, prove first, to ward off the charge of Injustice and inconsistency, that they want reason, -- else this flaw in your new constitution, the first constitution founded on reason, will ever shew that man must, in some shape, act like a tyrant, and tyranny, in whatever part of society it rears its raised in front, will ever undermine morality.” (Wollstonecraft). This quote shows that without the input of women, that reason isn't entirely reason.  Wollstonecraft is trying to make an argument that the oppressors, in this case, men, should take women's advice in the government because having someone else make decisions for you is taking away your freedoms. 

Thomas Jefferson one of the American founding fathers was the one who wrote the Declaration of Independence of the United States,  this is another prime example of the harmful outside situation. Britain's Parliament and King George III had colonies in what is now the United States of America, it held a tyrannical rule over the colonies, taxed the people unfairly, and made living there not preferred. After years of this tyrannical rule, the United States Congress had Thomas Jefferson write up the Declaration of Independence of the United States and sent it to the British Parliament.  this started a war between the British and the Americans, but because the Americans had an army of mostly trained soldiers, they were able to fight in that war and eventually won. Thomas Jefferson wrote in the Declaration of Independence of the United States that it is the duty of the people to alter the government or abolish it if it becomes detrimental to the quality of life of the citizens (Jefferson). This encourages the citizens to go forth and claim their own freedoms when something wants to take it away. A quote from the text is “But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future.” (Jefferson). Because freedom is temporary, one must put up walls to protect their freedoms and secure their future from any impending threats.

While Pirates have already broken free from their detrimental situations, they still have to Make sure that they can keep their freedoms by having basic structures and rules kept in place. unlike most other rules where there are a lot of them, the Pirates put bass rules and only rules that will ensure the crew's safety. Since pirates are free of their restrictions they have to protect themselves but making sure that they won't get caught by the oppressors, in this case, the government. On ships, it was common to find that there was a lights-out policy of 8:00 p.m. since the British, Spanish, Polish, etc. ships could find them in the sea if they had lights on that late and they didn't want to be found. There are also a bunch of rules to keep fighting on the crew to a minimum such as no cheating or stealing and no gambling since those could raise tensions. there is also oddly a rule where there were generally no women alone on the ship, this was usually due to a superstition that women were bad luck on ships. All of these rules are to ensure safety and to make sure that no one gets locked back up into their detrimental situation again, if one person gets caught then that could lead to many people getting caught. Even though Pirates can be brutal they still look out for other people in the way that it also benefits themselves, or so it seems. (Johnson and Roberts) They also made sure that everyone was able to get a say in the decisions due to a council with everybody on the crew on it usually they would make decisions about punishments for crew members who betrayed the wider crew.

Peril the SkyWing from the book series Wings of Fire is an excellent example of internal shaking, for most of her life she obeyed the rule of her queen, Queen Scarlet, since Queen Scarlet raised her since she hatched basically. Peril has this condition called fire scales, she hatched with too much fire so her scales emit a burning heat that could kill anyone she brushes by. Queen Scarlet raised Peril to believe that she would always be a monster and that she could never change from being a murderous dragon, so Queen Scarlett used Peril in her Gladiator Arena as her champion. That is how she lived for the majority of her life until she met a dragon named Clay. Clay is a MudWing who also happens to be a Dragonet of Destiny, the Dragonets of Destiny are a part of a prophecy to end a 20-year-long war. Clay and his friends were captured by Queen Scarlet and taken to her prisons where he was held. Peril started talking to Clay and it revealed that Queen Scarlet never liked it when PerilTalked to any other Dragon except for her. Queen Scarlet is the harmful person in this situation, she restricted Peril's access to food, she restricted Peril's access to self-determination, and Queen Scarlet didn't even let Peril leave the SkyWing palace. Clay talked to Peril as Peril snuck out of the initial Palace to talk to him, and because Clay also grew up with him believing he was a monster he was able to sympathize with Peril. One huge difference between Peril and Clay is that Peril never believed she could be anything but a murderous dragon, however, Clay never was able to bring himself to actually harm anyone. the only reason Clay was labeled as a monster was that when hatching he tried to help the other dragons he was hatching with break out of the shells and the caregivers didn't know that that was an instinctual thing for MudWings, especially the first hatched MudWings experienced. After learning that Peril was being lied to by Queen Scarlet her entire life, she started to change for the better, she started to escape the grip that Queen Scarlet had over her (Sutherland 81). Peril directly confronts Queen Scarlet in the book Escaping Peril, she says “You can't make me. you can't make me kill anyone else for you. I'm not that kind of dragon anymore"(Sutherland 22). That quote demonstrates how Peril is starting to take more control over her life, she is making an effort to change from the Dragon that Queen Scarlet wants her to be.

All of these sources allude to the firm belief that freedom is not something that you can just have, it is something that you have to work for, to believe that you deserve. Without acknowledgment of yourself or the detrimental situation, you cannot begin to fathom breaking away from the chains. There are however small steps to be able to make those connections, if you as much wonder if a specific person or situation isn't good for you take a moment, step back, and think about it. thinking is probably one of the best things you can do when faced with a situation like that. letting people take away your freedom is one of the most vile things I can think of. fighting for your freedom no matter how big or small the act is, will be worth it in the end regardless, because you made that decision for yourself. 

Works Cited

Jefferson, Thomas. Declaration of Independence of the United States. 1776.

Johnson, Charles, and Bartholomew Roberts. A General History of the Pyrates. 1724.

Sutherland, Tui T. Escaping Peril. Scholastic Incorporated, 2017.

Wollstonecraft, Mary. A Vindication of the Rights of Woman. 1792.

[rapidhighway]

venting like an idiot

the main reason i dont wanna go back to uni is that i feel like i've completely embarrassed myself last year. idk, i feel horrified at the thought of returning and looking these people in the eye. i didn't do anything, i was lazy and barely finished my projects and the only way to redeem myself somehow would be to come back with some new energy and work hard. i didn't even really get a job this summer because i really wanted to rest, cause i thought i would drop out. and i just feel worse, i feel even more tired

[taylorswiftshipsbyler]

I was talking to my therapist about byler today and I was talking about "it's not my fault you don't like girls" and she ASKED IF I THINK HES PROJECTING. idk why this is big to me but it is💀

[emotionaldisaster909]

OMG XIE LIAN

OMG THEY KEPT THIS

Oh my GOD

THE CONCERN IN HIS VOICE AND ON HIS FACE

HUA CHENG LOOKS LITERALLY TERRIFYING IN HIS RAGE

I appreciate that the animators didn’t draw him “pretty” in this shot

They drew him HATEFUL

Angular, with heavy shadows

Which can almost be called ugly

In a sense that that’s how you draw characters wheh you want to emphasise that they are evil

And this is PERCECT DECISION

Because THIS IS WHAT HUA CHENG IS THINKING ABOUT HIMSELF

He thinks that this side of him IS MONSTROUS AND MUST BE UGLY TO XIE LIAN

YET LOOK AT THE WAY XIE LIAN LOOKS AT HIM-

[sadkachow]

how the fuck did my english class manage to take a semi-positive stance on generative ai