#especially aros who are platonic ‘instead of’ romantic

[lilac-set]

“You just haven’t met the right person yet” aplatonic-spec edition

‘there’s no platonic explanation for this’

buddy you wouldn’t believe what kind of platonic explanations im capable of

[aceoffangirls]

I just want to talk for a moment how little people understand about Asexuality and for that matter Aromanticism out side of the aspec community.

I was looking at the books in Kmart today and saw one to do with LGBTQ+ and wanted to see if they included Asexuality and what they said about only to see this.

Now I don’t know if I’m having a Karen moment but the way they define Asexuality was basically someone who “do not feel like having sex with others” instead of someone who experiences little to no sexual attraction. Asexuality is about the attraction aspect, not the action.

Asexuality is such a broad and expansive orientation not only for the micro labels including demi, flux/fluid, grey, litho, abro, ficto etc, but also the spectrum within that from being sex positive/favourable to neutral /indifferent to negative/repulsed. Adding on to this is the romantic orientation whether it be hetero, homo, Aro, Aro spec, bi, pan etc and the different types of attraction including alterous and queer platonic.

The idea that ace people are simply people who don’t desire sex is completely misunderstanding and misinterpreting what it means to be asexual and can lead discourse within the ace community especially to those who are sex favourable. You see this a lot in media with few of the asexual characters not being interested in sex and that is what makes them asexual instead of the lack of sexual attraction.

Sorry for my rant and Karen moment, just kinda got annoyed.

[yandere-kokeshi]

Yandere Hobie and Miguel with a gn darling whose Aromantic

Warnings: yandere behavior, ALL PLATONIC!

A/N: day two of posting! hope you enjoy <3!

Hobie Brown: 

Has no problem with it and already knows about your boundaries. The minute you sit him down, tell him you’re Aro — he finishes your sentence with a smirk, and laughs at your sheer expression when he doesn’t react in a way you’d think. 

Extremely respectful, even as a yandere; already going out of his way to be respecting your boundaries and never brings up anything romantic, only plain Platonic uses. He makes sure your comfort and health comes first, and always seems to know what to say next whenever you two talk. 

Might as well have a label pin as Most Protective Best Friend™. Always knowing where you are, ensuring you’re taking good care of yourself, no idiotic or trash love interests will come near you when he’s around, and clings to you one way or another. Hobie loves to sneak in little touches when acceptable, especially if it’s around your shoulders or waist.  

Treats you like a younger sibling. Laughs when you make mistakes or piss off Miguel, teaches you guitar, sometimes spoiling you and giving you advice when needed. But his actions could be somewhat of what boyfriends do. He ‘pays’ for your food, surprising you with things that you’d least expect, and gives you tight hugs. Let’s not forget about the knuckle rubs on the heads too, and light kisses on your forehead.  

A man who you can rely on for support, help, and secrets. No matter what, he’s here for you, with open arms, and ready to give you the entire world if you asked. Hobie is more on the affectionate side, and with your permission, he likes to kiss your cheek and forehead platonically; nuzzling his nose as the two of you laugh. 

Sleepovers galore. Every other night, the two of you are in each other’s bedrooms, doing parallel play if you’re okay with it, and often showing you things he seems interesting. 

Miguel O’Hara: 

Confused by the term, but when you take time to explain to him, Miguel is quickly on board and nods along; being awkwardly quiet as he takes in the information. He’s older, but is respectful. It may take him some time to understand, but nevertheless, Miguel will follow your boundaries. 

Not the best at showing his appreciation, especially if you prefer physical touch, or words of affirmation. Naturally, he gives you gifts, listening to you when you require things, and going out of his way to make sure you’re taking good care of yourself: making dinner, letting you use his money to buy whatever, and get enough vitamin D.  

More possessive than ever. Doesn’t like sharing, and likes keeping you to himself so that you can bother him. Even though he might give you the side eye, he frankly enjoys you talking about anything — especially if he’s working.

Everything you can expect from a romantic relationship is the same with Platonic, just considerably toned way up with him defending or protecting you. Miguel is haunted by the thoughts of you being hurt, which means you are by his side 24/7, which also comes with another talk: no dating. 

Not a huge fan with you going on dates, especially if it’s away from him. But, he’ll come to term with it sooner or later — but expressing strict rules he expects you to follow. Things like he has to meet your s/o immediately, know their background, and questions them on things about you. 

Will gently say ‘I love you’ at the most randomest times. Really tries his best to show his affection, and with his past, it’s hard. Whenever he says it, it’s almost like he didn’t mean to say it – the words seemingly passing through his lips as he looks at you lovingly. 

—

Masterlist || Please consider reblogging and commenting instead of liking, it helps me as a creator!! Stay well!!

© yandere-kokeshi 2023 — Do not copy, modify, edit, repost, or use my works for ASMR readings, tiktoks, or other content.

[idyllic-affections]

Your writing is so good! Thank you so much for writing platonic fics, they are so hard to find, especially in Genshin and Demon Slayer. As an Aro/Ace who is addicted to the found family trope, your blog is a haven. So if I may... can I request a Muichiro x Hashira Mentor!Reader to go along with your other fics in this series? I loved the three so far, and especially with the most recent episode, I have strong "PROTECT THE BABY" vibes for Mui. What would happen if instead of Kotetsu saving Mui, it was reader? And they were trying to protect him from Gyokko while Mui is stuck in the water, and maybe that is what gives him the strength/inspiration to break free.

no harm will come to you.

summary. ""N— no," he choked out before rapidly pulling the rest of the needles out of his body. Something in their gut twisted uncomfortably at the sight of their student so battered. "Why do you always have to be the one to save me?"" trigger & content warnings. near-death (not the reader), canon-typical blood and injury, brief mentions of throwing up. tropes, pairings, fic length, & other notes. angst to fluff-ish. muichiro tokito & hashira mentor!reader. 1.5k words. they/them pronouns for reader. author's thoughts. hello dear!! i always smile when someone says this to me. its so important to remember that not everyone enjoys romanctic content. aroace people exist and deserve to be catered to as much as any other people do. i love being a safe space for people who just... dont want romantic content. i dont reblog romantic content (unless its canon x canon ship content, but even thats rare), i dont interact with romantic content. i just bring a spotlight exclusively to platonic content. not everyone has to do that, and thats totally fine, but i do so and will continue to do so. anyways pls keep sending mui requests, i love him so much awajshskgj &lt;3

       "Mui-kun!"

       'That voice...'

       "Hey! I'm here, okay?!" Their blood was ice in their veins, heart pounding as hard against their rib cage as their feet did against the ground. "I'm here now! Just ho— just hold out a little longer! I'll get you out of this shit!"

       "Yeah! We'll— we'll get you out of this shit!" Kotetsu echoed from his place situated on their back. Their arms were hooked around his legs to keep him in place, while his arms squeezed around their neck to balance himself a little better. They pinched his thigh scoldingly.

       "Don't repeat that! You're ten!"

       'Ah... it's [Surname]-sama... and Kotetsu-kun..?'

       Heavy pants left their lips as they skidded to a stop, falling to their knees in front of their poor, incapacitated Tsuguko. Kotetsu was quick to slide off of their back, settling beside them. "Shit... what the fuck?" they cursed under their breath, palm pounding against the cage of water, only to be met with ferocious rebound. Their pupils were blown wide with terror, the gloss of unshed tears making their eyes shimmer in the moonlight. Dragging their sword against the water's surface had no effect. The young boy mimicked their motions, simply with a knife instead. His efforts had no effect either. "The fuck is this? Why isn't it breaking? It's just water... why..?"

       'Come to think of it... I've never seen [Surname]-sama cry, have I? They look so stressed.'

       "Tokito-san, we won't let you die!" Kotetsu shouted. Beneath his mask, tears formed in the corners of his eyes. "Hang in there! What is this?!" He threw his whole body weight against the water, only to bounce back just as they had. "What the hell is this, [Surname]-san?! It's all rubbery and gross!"

       "I don't know! I know as much as you do, okay?! I may be a Hashira but that doesn't mean I automatically know everything!"

       The heat bubbling just beneath the surface of their skin was unbearable. In their panicked haze, they didn't notice the unfamiliar markings manifesting on their skin. As soon as they appeared, they were gone, fading from their flesh with no trace left behind. It was like they had never been there in the first place.

       It seemed that they had a hard time maintaining their enhanced state when panicked and unfocused.

       'You two have bigger priorities than me right now. Protect the chief, [Surname]-sama. Not me. That would be beyond Kotetsu-kun, but not you.'

       Muichiro's eyes widened. His palm pounded furiously on the water, hoping to get at least one of the two's attention. Thankfully, he knew his mentor well enough to know how attentive they were. They reacted immediately, head whipping around to face whatever it was that he saw approaching from behind them.

       It was only a small demon in comparison to the size of their body, hardly reaching up to their knee, but they knew better than to make assumptions about its power based solely on its size.

       It came from an Upper Moon.

       Surely, then, it was imbued with at least a fraction of said Upper Moon's strength.

       "Kotetsu-kun, get behind me!" they commanded, snatching up their blade from the ground. "Now!"

       A sharp gasp was torn from their throat when an equally sharp pain pierced their side. In their frantic state, it seemed that they were at a disadvantage, slowed down by their overwhelming worry. If Muichiro had screamed, the water had swallowed the sound up entirely; even so... the absolute horror on his face was surely enough to clue one in on his thought process. They winced, swinging their blade with enough force to behead the demon. It dissipated within an instant.

       "[Surname]-san!" Kotetsu shouted, stepping back in shock of the sheer amount of blood that spilled from their lips.

       "Fuck this whole mission," they muttered, bitter and tired, drawing in the deepest breath they could manage to in spite of the pain that struck their whole body like lightning when they did.

       They exhaled into the vase of water.

       'Even when you're bleeding out...'

       Muichiro inhaled the oxygen they provided him with.

       'You still come to my rescue. I should be embarrassed. Let me help you for once.'

       "Kotetsu-kun! Get down!" they shouted out, leaping forward to shield his much smaller body with their own. His little hands immediately went to their side to put pressure on the wound they sustained.

       Upon feeling their back drench with freezing water, they dove away from Kotetsu, catching their injured Tsuguko in their arms.

       "I've got you, I've got you..." they whispered over and over like a mantra of sorts, perhaps in an attempt to console themselves rather than the coughing Hashira in their embrace. No mind was paid to the spines poking their skin, nor the way Muichiro spat up a concerning amount of water over their shoulder. They did, however, take note of the way he made desperate attempts to apologize for practically throwing up on them. "It's okay, it's fine, just get all the water out of your lungs. It's not a big deal."

       All they truly paid attention to was the fact that he was breathing.

       Alive.

       However, he was weak. Terribly weak.

       "You've gone numb," they observed as he ripped a spine from his cheek, arms trembling. "I've got you. I've got the rest from here. You need to rest."

       "N— no," he choked out before rapidly pulling the rest of the needles out of his body. Something in their gut twisted uncomfortably at the sight of their student so battered. "Why do you always have to be the one to save me?"

       "I'm your mentor. It's my job. I teach you. I protect you. That's how this relationship works," they replied, standing up on shaky legs and taking their blade with them. They watched as more of the demons gathered around. "No harm will come to you for as long as I live."

       Aching.

       That's all they could feel on one side of their body. The pain was enough to make them double over. They squeezed their eyes shut, expression contorting into a pained grimace. One hand pressed deeply into their wound in a desperate attempt to make it stop. "Fuck..."

       They were already injured enough as it was from battles earlier on in the night.

       Muichiro could read his mentor like an open book.

       The book in question read nothing but agony. They were in no condition to keep fighting, and yet, neither was he.

       Even so...

       The rage he once felt three years ago boiled over again. It flooded the entirety of his veins, searing his skin and clouding his thoughts, stealing away the momentary clarity and reprieve from the haze in his mind. Muichiro clutched his sword with newfound rage.

       'Stay away from [Surname]-sama.'

       In an instant, the demons were all beheaded, dissipating into nothing but ash and dust.

       "Mui— Mui-kun, listen to me," they choked out in a gasp with sudden urgency, as if they had remembered something extremely important. "The swordsmiths. Haganezuka-sama and Kanamori-san. They're— we need to go back for them. Upper Moon Five is still..."

       "...You didn't get rid of him?"

       Their eyes softened impossibly. "I... I didn't. I am selfish sometimes, Mui-kun, and you... you were my priority. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I had left you. Please understand where I'm coming from."

       "I should be mad at you."

       "...Yes. You should be, and I wouldn't hold it against you if you were."

       A heavy silence settled for a moment. Not even Kotetsu dared disturb it.

       Then, with tender delicacy, the Mist Hashira wrapped his arms around their torso, laying his head on their chest. He was especially adamant on avoiding causing any further irritation to their injury. The firm beating of their heart was deeply comforting to him (he did, however, note the worrying wheeze that came every time they exhaled). "...I'm not, though."

       It was as if a weight was lifted off of their shoulders. They softly wrapped their arms around his shoulders. "I'm glad, then. Thank you."

       "No..." the boy trailed off, withdrawing from their embrace. Much to their surprise, he bowed in front of them. "Thank you, [Surname]-sama. I might not have made it out if not for you. I'm sorry for being so troublesome. I overestimated my skill, simply because I am a Hashira. I should have known better. You taught me better than that."

       An embarrassed laugh left their lips as they scratched the back of their neck. "Hey... you, um, you don't have to do that. You can stand up. It's okay. That's why we build bonds the way we do; we all mess up sometimes, so we need people we can reliably fall back on." As he rose, they hummed. "I can't quite put my finger on it, but... something about you has changed."

       He smiled. Such a gentle, sincere smile... it suited his face, but it was an expression they were not accustomed to seeing on him. He said nothing in response to them, however.

       'I'll tell you everything once we're out of here.'

       "...Shit! The swordsmiths! Mui-kun, come on! Grab Kotetsu-kun! Let's go!"

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

[ipatrichor]

my thoughts on dead boy detectives after watching episode one

okay first of all i gotta say i love the vibe. two ghosty boys running around solving cases and helping trapped spirits move on? that's so fun i love them

tbh. i don't know whats going on btween these two if it's platonic romantic whatever and i don't think any distinction can be drawn that matters. maybe that's the aro in me but they are each other's most important person and who cares about the semantics!!!

charles trying to get edwin to learn self-defense is very sweet. however i will say girl how has this not happened sooner. you literally just got chased through london by a knife ghost and your next case involves fistfighting a possessed psychic Please learn to throw a punch minimum. i would say learning how to fall properly is more important but it's not like they can get more dead. so.

unless they go to the afterlife or something i guess? interesting stakes, especially with the lady from the end of the episode who's looking for them. also the scene hanging outside the window was very sweet, with edwin promising he won't let them get separated. at this point i think it could go either way whether that was to establish their dynamic or to foreshadow, so we'll have to wait and see if the promise holds, but either way very touching moment

crystal my girl crystal!!!! i love her so much holy shit she is so messy!!!! i love love love her getting angry about her shitty situation bc. yeah! that's scary as hell having amnesia bc ur literal demon ex stole your memories and she's got no one except the boys, one of whom very openly doesn't want her around. that's really rough and i Love that she blows up at them about it in a moment of extreme stress instead of being unnaturally chill about an objectively awful situation like many mystical characters (especially when they're women)

anyway i think crystal should get a knife and stabbing privileges. she'd for sure misuse them but i think it'd be funny

edwin is so real for the 70 years in hell thing. girl if i was in the torture dimension for SEVEN DECADES i'd be awful to everyone, it's actually impressive that he restrains himself to being a petty bitch. good for him tbh, i think he's earned the snark. don't get me wrong it's unhelpful and sometimes downright mean, but it's also funny so i'm letting it slide

the witch... esther i think? god what do i say about her. ok im first gonna start with this: she's fucking chilling, it's so scary watching her body the group with ease until charles basically hail-marys and possesses her AND EVEN THEN it's for less than a minute til she forces him out!! it feels like encountering the bbeg when your party is level five- you know you can't touch her and have to play the situation carefully so she doesn't just end you, and the win is getting away with a different objective (here saving the kid) while knowing she's gonna be actively hostile to you now. scary stuff!

idk if this is the popular opinion or not but i just don't find her hot 😭 like yeah she's serving incredible cunt, but her awful pta mom energy keeps that from being attractive. idk if it's the mommy issues but i would feel unsafe and constantly judged in her presence which is usually a dealbreaker for me finding people hot. sorry ma'am i deeply respect your vibe and the cunt you serve i would just avoid u like hell if u were real

the whole snake in a bone dimension in her cupboard is pretty cool though, and i love that her blowing smoke in people's faces isn't just a power play but a paralytic that's So clever

any other thoughts.... the girl with long hair is pretty, and that interaction with crystal has me wondering if the show got cancelled for lesbianism. i feel like maybe not? idk, if it was the start of a relationship that seems weirdly at odds with the tone of the rest of the show, so im leaning more towards crystal was picking up a weird psychic vibe from her that might be important later. who knows though!! i'll just have to find out haha

anyway i got sucked back into reading a novel but i should get caught up on that sometime today and then it's on to episode two, lol. very interested to find out what's up with the cat's vague ominous warning and what esther's gonna do when she finds out they rescued the kid she kidnapped

[dotster001]

Hi! Since Aromantic awareness week is almost around the corner, may I ask for some queerplatonic relationship headcanons with the dorm housewardens? Also your writing is amazing, wish I could write that well lmao

Queer platonic Relationship HC's

Summary: aro! dorm leaders with aro!gn!reader

A/N:Guess who can finish things on time! 😂 Also, I had to look up what specifically a QPR was..and low key...when I talk about the relationship I want on my non aro days...I think this is what I want. Anyway, happy aro awareness week! Whether you're a full time aro, or on a spectrum like me, I hope you take this week to feel valid!

CW:discussions of the internal gaslighting that comes with being aro and ace, because at least for me that's important to discuss.

First Years

His favorite thing to do after a long day is sit next to you and quietly do homework or paperwork together. He feels so safe just sitting with you. He likes to lean over and look at what you're doing, before making a comment or a suggestion. He likes when you do it too.

Another thing he likes to do is straighten your outfit. Before you go out for the day, he gives you a once over, then straightens your tie and your collar, and retucks in your shirt, before giving you a nod and sending you on your way. It gives him a giddy feeling when he sees you later in the day, and your outfits is still as crisp and clean as the Queen would want.

You got Trey's strawberry tart recipe when he graduated. When Riddle has a particularly bad day, you've usually already figured it out and are baking a tart for him. He comes into the kitchen and slumps on the countertop, and just watches you. It's one of the few times he lets his posture slip, and lets himself whine about things. Then when it's finished, he gets the first slice, and you both get to enjoy it together.

He's only a cuddler on bad days. So you both have your own rooms. But cuddling is never off the table if it's needed. On either of your bad days, you can go to the other's room, and silently slip in beside them.

His biggest thing is he wants to coparent a hedgehog with you. Since you're both aro in these HC's, he figures this is his best opportunity. You'll both fight for hours on a name before deciding on something like "Rosebud" or "Queenie". He wants to make sure it's healthy, but also can't resist giving it surplus of treats. If you try to put it on a diet, both of them are going to pout at you until you cave.

He uses you to keep his mother off his back relationship wise. When she needs him to attend an event, you dress to the nines and become the "perfect trophy spouse". Both of you are the "perfect married couple" and it makes her rich friends and her bugger off.

Romantic or platonic, he's always on the lookout for a cuddle buddy. When he starts the relationship, he's very clear that he wants you to be his real life body pillow. And maybe that's how the relationship started, both of you wanting cuddle buddies with no (romantic) strings attached.

His spell drive teammates really like you. Because it means Leona will actually play, and play well. For Leona, it means everything to him that someone sees him as important enough to come see him. It makes him feel loved and supported, which gives him the energy to play.

He'll drive you anywhere you need to go. You being there for him is everything, so he pays it back by giving you rides, and just showing up for you. It's only fair. You support him, he has to support you. No one is allowed to feel second, not in his house.

Never stops calling you herbivore, but it definitely becomes an affectionate thing. He's thrilled when you start to call him carnivore. Loves sarcastic back and forth with you, especially when you are using your nicknames instead of your names.

You made out once. It was because he was curious if he was capable of romantic feelings, and felt like if they would be for anyone, they would be for you.  Obviously, you both got nothing from it, but at least you can say you tried if Farena gets too pushy about the specifics of your relationship. (He means well, he just gets excited when it comes to his baby brother)

He likes it when you stay with him when he works late. You don't even have to talk, just sit on the couch and read, or doodle, or nap while he finishes his paperwork. He likes to look over and see you doing stuff. He's not alone.

He wants cuddles, but he's self conscious about it at first. So you start out with two rooms. As he gets more comfortable with you, and learns you aren't going to tell him he was creepy and to fuck off,  he starts to formulate a plan. He asks you to wait with him in his office, and waits until you fall asleep on the couch. Then he slips in next to you, and you both wake up snuggled together. He did this a couple times, until you got used to cuddling and just came to him in the night. Does he know it was manipulative? Absolutely! Does he have the confidence to be normal? Nope.

The two of you team up to trounce Idia twice as hard, in board game club. Azul spends way too much time planning strategies, and gives you a PowerPoint presentation before every club meeting with what he is going to do, and what you are going to do. Idia hates that there are two of you now.

Gets migraines sometimes, and is incredibly appreciative when you let him lay in your lap and massage his temples, or run your fingers along his scalp. The twins tease him for being "weak" with you, but when he's got a migraine he can't bring himself to care. Plus he knows you'll kill the twins for him. You're great like that.

He cooks for you a lot. He pretends it's to test out new menu items, but growing up with Mama Ashengrotto gave him feeding people as a love language. No matter what you look like, he's always worried you're too skinny. He's still too self conscious if you try to flip the tables on him, but give him time, and he'll let you feed him too.

Probably started as a fake dating thing so that his family would stay off his back. He is the heir to essentially an empire, and is expected to find a partner! So, since you are on the same page, he turns to you in his hour of need.

He's always touching you. Especially the more animated he gets. When he's talking or telling a story, he touches your shoulder a lot, especially when he's talking about you to someone else. If he's not touching your shoulder, he's squeezing your knee, or laying his head on your shoulder, or…well I think you get it.

Calls you "his treasure" so often that people ask all the time if you are dating. You both always laugh and say no…but people ask it so often that sometimes you both start to gaslight yourselves, like, "are we dating?" Then something will happen that reminds you both you're aro, and it'll make you laugh all over again.

He always just knows how you feel, and is three steps ahead. If you're sad, you come home and he's already made you some food. If you're getting sick, he's already gotten medicine, laid out your pajamas, and made your bed super comfy for you. You don't know how he does it, he just seems hyper aware of everything when it comes to you! He just wants you to be happy!!!!

Because he's so important, you probably aren't allowed to live with him until he is head of his family, and can dictate his own life. So you have lots of sleepovers, where you stay up late, and gossip about everyone, and Jamil has to come in and yell at you both to go to bed! (Honestly, he's just like a mom sometimes.)

He likes to take you on shopping sprees with him, holding your hand and dragging you place to place, and paying for anything you so much as look at. Meanwhile, Jamil is trailing behind you both with the most exhausted expression on his face.

Bonus: he feels like the kind of aro that when people try to explain romantic attraction to him, he's like, "But I love everybody! 🤗" And then the people explaining it facepalm.

Vil likes to model his looks for you before he debuts them to the public. He knows they're good, but it's fun for him to put on a mini fashion show. He especially likes when you get excited about a look. Those are the ones he posts on his own magicam.

Vil hates it, but he's slowly picked up your speech patterns from how often you two are together. He'll be having a normal conversation, then he'll see Epel smirk, and Rook giggle, and he'll realize he said something that only you would say. It's embarrassing for him, but hilarious for Epel, who finally gets to correct his grammar.

He formulates a personal skin care product line for you. Everyone's skin is different, and it's Vil's love language to take care of people's skin, and help them achieve their "highest form". He'll even apply it for you, he'll do the hard parts. Just show up to his room at 7:30 pm sharp. Or he'll send Rook after you.

If you are okay with it, he likes to coordinate your makeup and outfits so that you both are matching. He already knows he is the fairest one of all, but he'd be willing to share the title with you. And dressing you up gets him so excited for the day. He's almost unrecognizable with how excited he gets when you are matching. He'll stand next to you while you both look in the mirror, and have the dopiest grin on his face.

He takes you out on spa days with him. You both get massages, and mani petis, and facials, and chat about all your woes and celebrity gossip. It's the most human anyone, except you, gets to see Vil. You know the people running the spa go home and brag about what they witnessed, but no one will believe them. Vil Schoenheit? Gossiping and laughing like a teenager? You must be drunk.

Bonus: Him and Rook had a QPR before you two, but they "split" amicably because Rook is too much of a lover, and needed more. Vil gets it though, and still allows Rook to dote on him when he needs someone to pamper.

The big thing in this relationship is emotional support. He "keeps you around" (his words) because he feels better when you guys hold hands. He'll bring you everywhere with him, because you holding his hand makes things better. He'll go places with you too, it's only fair. Ortho's just happy Idia is finally touching grass.

When he doesn't come to class in person, he likes to text you to see what you're up to. He gets giddy every time you text him back. He gets even more excited when you send him a meme with no explanation, and he gets to use his top notch brain to figure out what you are up to, and why it's relevant. 

Movie nights. A lot of them. He brings one of his fave obscure movies, and you both watch and critique them. He thinks you both should start a podcast so that others can hear your excellent opinions.

He's so chatty with you. He hasn't been uncomfortable having a conversation with you since when you first met. Other people ask how you got him to be so talkative, and you don't really have an answer? If Idia is feeling particularly annoyed today, he'll say something like, "Y/N is friend shaped, you aren't." Then continue the conversation as though he didn't just totally wreck that person.

Everytime he  has a new invention, you're the first to know. Then he gets excited and practices his speech with you. With others, he gets high and mighty, like he is all too aware of how much smarter he is. But with you he's patient. He answers all your questions, and even lets you test the invention out.

Despite being willing to leave his room for you, he still has bad days where it's just too hard. And he is so grateful to you when you go on snack/meal runs for him. He could cry when you bring him the food. You're sent from the gods. You have to be! No one but an angel would be so perfect and kind to him.

He could cry with happiness when you let him babysit Grim. He has a whole plan; games they can play, food he can feed him, hours of petting scheduled in…he's so pumped! He's hoping you'll see he can co parent more cats with you in the future.

Look, I already HC Mal as Ace (it's fine if you don't, that's just my opinion). I feel like he's the aro ace that just…never gets it? He'll have his arm wrapped around your shoulders for moral support, and people will be like, is that your mate? And he'll just look really confused like…no? He does a QPR so naturally, that it's never actually "official". You're just kind of the person who lives in his castle, cuddles with him, and is there for every major life event he goes through. No big deal. 

He gets a little jealous when you hang out with another friend, like Sebek or Silver. He knows you don't mean anything by it…but you're his best friend, right? They're just secondary friends, right? No, he's not pouting, but yes, he would like to join you, thanks for asking.

Draconic instincts are to hoard, and deck out their loved ones in shiny things. You'll find random shiny trinkets on your pillow when you wake up, like you just got visited by the tooth fairy. He's acting like an excited puppy if you wear or display the things he gives you. He'll bring it up to everyone you see. "Doesn't Y/N look great in that bracelet? That's one of the best pieces from my hoard. 😊" If you give him shiny trinkets and rocks back, he'll treat them like the most precious things in his life. He'll be giving diplomats a tour of the castle, and they'll arrive at a pedestal with a single rock on it, and he'll proclaim it "the kingdom's greatest treasure!"

Makes this face all the time when he's around you: 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊

You're his guest of honor at every single event. And he always announces your entrance like you are the most powerful person in the room. "I would like to present Y/N L/N, the greatest human to ever live, and my best friend!" More than one diplomat has been very confused by who the fuck this human is. 

The nicknames, oh my God the nicknames. Think Anne Perkins and Leslie Knope. "Y/N, you beautiful tropical fish." "Y/N, you beautiful, talented, brilliant, powerful musk ox." "Y/N, you tricky minx." He could give Rook and Floyd a run for their money with his nicknames for you. (Honorable mention to the time he called you "the most precious child of man to ever child of man.")

[kayshurrr]

You know, one of the reasons it took me so long to figure out I was aromantic was because the depth and intensity of the platonic feelings I had for the select few people in my life always read, especially to other people, as being on the same level as romantic feelings. But really, I just care deeply about my friends and there are certain people that I just feel a strong pull towards in regards to wanting to be their friend. My past relationships would talk about the types of feelings they had for me and it always felt like "yes, I feel that too, but in a different way". I didn't know how to describe it or why I felt so much repulsion when people would romantically tell me they loved me while I was filled with such joy and comfort when my friends would tell me they loved me.

I'm incredibly introverted, I do not want or need to have loads of friends. But instead of people accepting that having a few, intimate friends was valid, I was told that I just hadn't met "the one", or that I was possibly polyamorous, or, worse yet, I was somehow broken.

I still struggle a lot with that imposter feeling, like I'm "not aro enough" but I am enough. I am not broken. There is nothing wrong with me. This label is as valid for me as it is to anyone else who is aro.

[clonerightsagenda]

So... The Silt Verses were good.

As I mentioned, I should have anticipated this. If a podcast gets decently popular and people gush over its quality and it doesn't even have a core ship for them to fixate on, it must actually be good. And it was. Luckily the obligatory horror podcast 'organs, lovingly described' bits only lasted the first few episodes, and then we moved into what the show was actually stellar at: character drama and social commentary.

I've lauded Greater Boston as one of the few allegedly anti-capitalist podcast that actually examines structures and society instead of just going haha evil company go brr, and The Silt Verses joins those ranks, looking at the issue from a macro (society) scale rather than micro (city). It was a very good - and unflinchingly, painfully honest - look at how capitalism is eating us alive, even citizens of the imperial core, how so many people feel helpless to resist, and how as much as we want to root for a band of scrappy rebels, most of the time they're helpless in the face of the international machinery, and their brief bursts of rebellion will get absorbed and redirected by the lumbering beast that's feeding on us all.

Both Greater Boston and TSV posit an alternative - Wonderland and the Grace. If society is irredeemably rotten, we must leave society. That's a great dream. And to their credit, both podcasts acknowledge that this takes effort. (Is it any surprise that both leftist podcasts with a more sophisticated awareness feature that most central of rebel technologies... the committee meeting.) However especially for situations like the Grace where there's not trade with an easily accessible outer world, it does make me wonder what place in this glorious future there is for disabled and chronically ill people who need the care and resources our industrialized world can provide. To TSV's credit, again, the tiny hope spot we get for The Grace is less 'we're going to build a glorious future for everyone' and more, we are taking one small step for resistance. We don't expect to get very far. But we're hoping the next people might get a bit further.

I saw TSV referred to as an aro podcast and they were right. Sister Carpenter, woman that she is, is canonically aro, but also there really aren't any major romances and all the key character relationships are platonic/familial/at least not traditionally romantic. (Nodding at that post about Hayward being married to Paige like nuns are married to Jesus. I guess that makes her widow of wounds story true in the end, huh? Watch out when you build a false mythology around yourself. It might come true.) It's the aro woman out of everyone who says 'however it started, it can end in love', but the podcast's version of love isn't a big triumphant kiss. It's laying your brother's corpse to rest. It's killing your enemy in a way that's kind and telling a lie to save people you've never met. It's dying alone but at peace because you get to watch the people you care about walk away to safety. (Side note: as much as I tried to take that bit with Hayward saying goodbye to Paige seriously, it kept reminding me of the end of The Good Place where Janet goes 'i hate to watch you walk through the door at the end of the universe, but I love to watch you go'.

Faulkner had a great character arc and I can't believe the show got me to root for Hayward of all people, but naturally I am mostly going to gush about the women. Val was a surprise third act hit for me. You know I love identity issues. She reminded me of Breq a little - they hollowed out a woman to fill her out with a weapon, and who is she now? Does it mean anything to get revenge for the corpse she's wearing? I will fix it, do you understand me? And she can't fix it, but she can in her dying moments make one tiny change to give one tiny group of people she's never met the shadow of a chance. Also the way her powers worked was interesting, terrifying, and conceptually appropriate.

I loved Paige too. We first see her as a relatively privileged person uncomfortable with her own complicity but not sure how to break out and then follow her as she tries to break out anyway. This podcast understands that resistance is hard! It's messy, it's exhausting, it changes you in ways you don't expect or want, and then you feel compelled to pretend you're fine even if you've burnt out because you led these people here, you're responsible for them, what else can you do? She should read Emergent Strategies, especially the section on charismatic leaders. Diversity win! This trans woman gets a nightmare magic god pregnancy.

Finally, Carpenter. If Val is Breq, Carpenter is Murderbot - snarky, exhausted, antisocial, perpetually annoyed, but going out of her way to try to save people anyway (and sometimes kill her way through a research station with an ax). Part of me wants her to make it to the Grace and then wherever Paige stops walking and lay both her and Hayward to rest. Part of me wants her to get her relief in the cairn maiden's arms because if anyone deserves some peace and relief away from the goddamn trawlerman, it's her. It's fitting that a servant of pliant water and patient death ends with a fate that's ambiguous. Maybe she's still trudging onward. Maybe she's buried in silt at the bottom of the river with her brother. Maybe she's something inbetween, the ghost Faulkner kept casting her as. Dead and not dead yet.

My one minor complaint was that I couldn't always follow the action by the soundscaping alone. The transcripts were very helpful for this so I frequently kept them open as I listened.

[aspecpplarebeautiful]

im having a crisis and i was just. hoping for some insight!! if this isn't the place to ask feel free to ignore and delete!! thanks

i think i might me aro but i'm not sure. i'm 17 and i haven't felt any romantic atttraction (ever? i can remember ONE time in elementary school but literally.. i barely remember) but oh lord. i want to. i've dated people but not because i was attracted to them and i asked first, but because they asked me and i thought it might work out. i'm not sure if anyone can be... involuntarily aromantic? so i thought i would ask. many thanks.

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time, Anon. If you haven't experienced romantic attraction, or possibly did once, but a long time ago, it is possibly you may be aro. Sometimes people do start experiencing romantic attraction in their late teens or very early 20's, but the older you get the more likely it is you're on the aro spectrum.

If by involuntarily aromantic, you mean people who really don't want to be aro, but who's experiences can be described as being on the aromantic spectrum, than yes, that does happen. Some people do have a hard time accepting themselves, especially since we live in a society that pushes the message that romance and romantic love are incredibly important and fulfilling (sometimes the most important and fulfilling) experience someone can have.

That said self acceptance is possible, the first step is rejecting that messaging. It helps that it's not true, while romance and romantic love are an experience that some people find important and fulfilling, it's far from the only one, and it's not one that's been important to everyone. Similar to things like religion, having children, having a passion (for example creating art, helping animals, etc), etc. There are things in life that give people feelings of meaning and fulfillment, but what those things aren't always the same for everyone. Even alloromantic people (that is people who are not aromantic), often find it helpful not to look at romance as the be all and end all since that's just not how it is for everyone, and also it creates a lot of pressure that can lead to unhealthy relationship balances. Romance is a thing some people enjoy and get a lot out of, but it's not the only thing.

The other part is learning to see aromanticism not as something that's about limiting yourself, but instead about giving yourself the freedom to do what's right for you. Aromantic describes how you feel internally, but it doesn't mean you can't do what you want if it's what you actually want and enjoy. For example, if you want to date people romantically, you can still do that. You mentioned you've already tried dating a few times, if you've enjoyed that experience or found those relationships fulfilling, you can keep dating.

On the other side of things, if you didn't enjoy dating, aromantic as a label is there to tell you it's OK to not enjoy dating. There are other types of life partners (Queerplatonic Relationships for example) if having a life partner is important to you. Or maybe you want to focus on other kinds of relationships (it's a myth that only romantic relationships are deep or meaningful, or that nobody values platonic relationships). Or maybe there's something else entirely that's important to you that you'd rather focus your energy on. Sometimes I look at being romance avese (so not just aromantic, but averse to romance on top of it) like not liking chocolate. Some people treat chocolate like it's the best food in the world, better than sex, etc. Some people just don't like the taste, and no matter how much they try and foce themselves to eat it, they'll probably never have that same experience as the people who love it. But there probably is other food they enjoy or other things that give them joy. It's OK to just not like chocolate or to find it just OK.

So even if you're just questioning, and even if you do start experiencing romantic attraction eventually, I would recommend trying to learn these lessons. And trying to see aromanticism as more of a neutral outcome rather than something to be afraid of. Remember too that no matter what you can do what you want, and if you do enjoy romantic relationships, and want to keep doing romantic things you can. If you don't enjoy romance, you will find things and relationships that do matter to you.

Seeking out media with aromantic characters (you can google book and podcast recs for a decent selection), or seeking out aromantic blogs, spaces, etc. can also help you see aromanticism in a more neutral and less scary light as well.

And of course if you have more questions, or want to talk more, this ask box is always open.

All the best, and good luck!

[heartless-aro]

what's the story behind aardvarks and yellow roses?

Yellow Roses

Ok so yellow roses are a bit more straightforward to explain, so I’m gonna start there. Outside of the aromantic community, yellow roses traditionally symbolize friendship. Because of this symbolism, when the first aromantic flag (the four stripe flag with green, yellow, orange, and black, shown below) was published on the website for the National Coalition for Aromantic Visibility (NCAV), the flag included a yellow stripe which represented romantic friendship, friends with benefits, friendship dating, and queerplatonic relationships.

The redesigns of the flag also included a yellow stripe (to represent lithromantics) though I’m not sure whether this was at all inspired by the yellow stripe in the original flag (if anyone knows please lmk). Still, it’s an interesting piece of aro history for sure. We still see yellow being used to represent platonic attraction sometimes (notably, on the queerplatonic flag), so there could be some link there as well (though that’s a bit of speculation).

Before the “ace discourse” era on here, I also used to see yellow roses by themselves being used as a symbol of aromanticism by aromantics due to platonic love being intrinsic to how many people experience their aromanticism. It wasn’t as common of a symbol as, say, aardvarks or spades, but it was common enough to be recognizable as a symbol. It was especially used as a symbol of platonic love and attraction within the aro community, as one might expect. Here’s a screenshot of one instance of this that I found digging through old posts by @aromanticaardvark on Wayback Machine. The post is from 2015.

I’m not sure why, but I’ve always personally liked the yellow roses as an aro symbol even if I don’t entirely relate to the platonic love symbolism (in fact, I could be considered aplatonic, though I don’t often label myself as such).

I actually use the blue roses in my header as a nod to the old yellow rose symbol, in case anyone was curious about that. (I chose blue roses instead of yellow since, as I said, the platonic love symbolism isn’t particularly relatable to me. Plus blue roses are often used to symbolize unattainable or unrequited love, which I thought was fitting since I myself am unattainable, and any romantic feelings directed towards me will forever be unrequited).

Aardvarks

So, I’m about 90% sure that the aardvark symbol was started by @aromanticaardvark, who used to be one of the big name blogs in the aro community (though their blog has been inactive since 2016). Back when advice animal memes were a thing, the person behind the Aromantic Aardvark blog used to post aromantic-themed advice animal memes which featured an aardvark. (An example of one such meme originally posted on the Aromantic Aardvark blog in 2011 is shown below).

In 2015, Aromantic Aardvark received the anonymous ask “What does the aardvark have to do with it?” to which they replied “Nothing, really, it’s just alliterative. Aromantic Aardvark was founded when advice animals were a common meme here on tumblr, and my friend and I thought it’d be funny if there were an aromantic meme. That aspect of the blog eventually went away however, and it became more of a general resource/advice blog for aro spectrum people.” This would seem to imply that the use of aardvarks to symbolize aromantics originated on the Aromantic Aardvark tumblr blog.

This would make sense seeing as Aromantic Aardvark was one of the early aromantic blogs, and was even linked on the NCAV website back in 2014.

Aardvarks were used pretty commonly as an aromantic symbol for a while. Notably, the AroPlane forum, where a lot of early discussions about aromantic symbols and flag redesigns took place, used a drawing of an aardvark in its website banner (see below).

I’m honestly not quite sure when aardvarks started to decline in use as an aromantic symbol though.

[bloomshroomz]

I think I'm aroallo?

CW: sex mentions, talk about aroallo stereotypes

I think I'm aroallo. I've been identifying as aroace for a while now, but I keep saying to my girlfriend, "I feel like I might not be asexual after all." I've been saying that again and again for months. Her response is always, "You're probably not."

I don't question my aromanticism at all. It's one aspect of my identity that I'm very sure about. But my asexuality, on the other hand... I don't think that I'm really ace. I feel like I've been clinging to the asexual label because of the assumptions people make about aroallos. Being aroace is one thing, but being aroallo is a lot harder for me to accept.

People tend to assume that aroallos are always hypersexual, or always loveless, or always prioritize sex above all else when it comes to their relationships with people. And all of those things are valid experiences, but they don't apply to me personally.

I've been trying to put it into words... People think that a lack of romantic attraction necessitates an amplified sexual attraction. Like just because I'm aro, I must be "more sexual" than other allosexual people. It seems like people think sexuality has to be "balanced out" with romance. But I'm not particularly sexual; I'm just not ace.

Tangentially related, this idea that "no romantic attraction = amplified sexual attraction" also seemed really prevalent in SAM discourse a while back. One of the big arguments people used against romantic orientation labels was that they were "oversexualizing" sexuality labels or "reducing everything to sex" by separating the romantic aspect from the sexual aspect.

I'm talking about the people who would say shit like, "Why would you call yourself biromantic instead of bisexual? Are you implying that bisexual people only care about sex?" when they saw a biromantic ace. That sort of "logic."

And the implication with that argument is, if the tables were turned (i.e. they were bisexual and aromantic), it would be appalling to them. And it was especially paired with the assumption that sex - romance = oversexualized, in whatever way "oversexualized" may be defined. Lots of sex negativity mixed in with the discourse.

On another note, I've voiced my disdain for the Attraction Layer Cake elsewhere before. There are a lot of problems with it, but I'm going to focus on the "Crimson" part specifically: the crimson layer is the only option if you're aromantic without being asexual. That and "Red" I suppose, but the red layer could describe any allosexual orientation, whether aromantic or not.

Crimson is labeled as aromantic sexuality, which is a problem in and of itself. It should say aromantic allosexuality. But that's not the part I take the most issue with. I hate the description.

"The purpose of relationships is primarily sexuality. Romance is not specifically desired."

Again, there's nothing wrong with prioritizing or emphasizing sexuality. But that's not an inherent aspect of being aroallo, and it doesn't describe me personally. The primary purpose of my relationships is emotional connection. Sex is just a cool thing that I may or may not do with people.

Also, "relationships" is vague. Does it mean relationships in general, regardless of whether they're romantic, platonic, etc? In that case, that's a huge generalization of the many types of relationships aroallos may have.

Or does it specifically refer to romantic relationships? In that case, that's also a huge generalization, because it assumes aroallos will have romantic partners, and it implies that it's only okay to have sex with people if you're also romantically involved.

Aromantic people also have to deal with a lot of explicitly negative stereotypes. Manipulative, abusive, cruel. I feel like these assumptions get amplified when you're aroallo specifically. A lot of people think that explicitly wanting sex, without explicitly wanting romance, automatically makes you a horrible person. I'm too exhausted to even delve into these stereotypes.

All I'll say is, there's nothing wrong with wanting sex, and there's nothing wrong with having no desire for romance. Sexual attraction doesn't need to be "justified" via romantic attraction, and sex doesn't need to be "justified" via romance. As long as everyone is consenting and upfront with their intentions, whose business is it anyways?

I'm not 100% sure if I'm allosexual. But after months of saying, "I don't think I'm asexual after all," I think it's safe to say that I'm not aroace. Maybe I'm greysexual at most, but eh. Whether I'm allosexual or ace-spec, there's one thing I'm certain of: I'm more aro than I am ace, if I'm even ace-spec at all.

I'm sitting here sort of feeling... Out of place. Like, everywhere. I'm a romance-indifferent aroallo, who isn't heavily sexual, but still enjoys sex. It's sort of isolating, I guess. It would be reassuring to see more people with similar experiences.

Slightly unrelated, but my primary special interest is Littlest Pet Shop, and I love putting these little guys on pride flags. So, here's the aroallo flag with a bunny on it. Makes me happy despite all the confusion and conflicted feelings

[utilitycaster]

I keep thinking abt your "'must a story have conflict?' Yes actually hope this helps" posts in the context of laudna and imogen because like. Their shippers keep saying like. "You just don't UNDERSTAND the beauty of their Perfect Relationship, the bond that Traumatized People have that makes them In Tune, so sad how you will never understand love or being with another etcetera etcetera" and it's like. what the hell are you talkinf about (they're usually the kind of ppl with weird and bad narrative ideas re: their traumas so uwu sad everyone is against them). Don't we want this relationship to be healthy and beneficial to both of them? Don't get me wrong, I love Toxic Girl Yuri fucked up tragic relationships as much as anyone else but shippers pretty clearly aren't angling for that kind of story, and neither would the trajectory of the campaign support it. The onscreen dynamic isn't even spicy enough to HAVE toxic codependency it's just. There.

what's funny is that actually my favorite era of their relationship was the "we transcend labels, you and I" thing Laudna said to Imogen. Partly bc personal aro feelings but also because THAT felt like genuine no expectations support to fall back on. The idea that they could just Be and always be It wasn't ASKING for the kind of dynamicism of a romantic relationship such and such, but now with the girlfriends thing, it feels like now there should be WAY more than what's been happening. Does any of this make sense?

Hey anon,

So I largely agree (will cover the one point of not entire agreement below). I do want to note that if you're the person who's sent me other questions recently on this topic please feel free to DM me! I think it's valid to want to voice those frustrations, and I get not wanting to do so publicly (though I think the harassment on Tumblr at least has largely died down) but also to be completely honest I have been fully in a Nein and Candela headspace with a handful of exceptions mostly relating to wiki stuff so I've been answering these anons but I'll admit it's not where my thoughts have been re: CR stuff for the past few weeks.

Anyway, I can understand the desire for a QPR or simply close friends for Imogen and Laudna! I am not aro myself, and I do enjoy a good romantic plot, but I'd rather have a well-executed story with no romance than a good story slightly marred by poorly done romance. However, it's actually really interesting to me (in a good/neutral way) that you recall it as "we transcend labels" because the actual quote (3x49, 4:52:57) is "We transcend words, you and I" and I could not stand that because my frustration has again always been that they spend a lot of time talking, and absolutely none of it communicating; they have never transcended words, they have simply not fucking used them well. More generously, I think a relationship in which a couple is on such a wavelength that they do have a sense of how the other feels without needing to talk (or read minds, in this situation) can be aspirational in real life, though again, I don't think that's actually what's going on here; but even if it were, that is not remotely interesting to watch. I truly do not give a shit in the end if relationships on the shows I watch are healthy or unhealthy provided the narrative knows what it's fucking doing and I think people who are obsessed with unproblematic wholesomeness are frankly suspect, but man, either be toxic codependent yuri or be two people trying to understand each other, instead of two people who seem to only occasionally remember that they are important to each other, and never seem to remember why.

But yes, the fact that virtually nothing has changed despite a relationship upgrade, especially in light of the relationship losing my interest as a platonic thing 30 or 40 episodes prior to them becoming a romantic couple is now thrown into more stark relief because you'd think something would change. Like, that's the thing. There was no romance; there was no plot. While I think the people who insisted from the start that CLEARLY they were already dating are the kind of people who would unironically ship my mop and broom solely on the basis of them leaning against each other next to my garbage can, at least if they had already been dating from the start a lack of forward momentum could be somewhat forgiven. I say somewhat, because Veth and Yeza were married from before the campaign or, for a platonic option, the twins were...twins from before the campaign, and both those relationships were still infinitely more complex and ever-changing and thoughtful over the course of their respective campaigns than whatever Imogen and Laudna were doing; it still, to be clear, would have been dishwater dull. But it would have been forgivably so; I would have simply politely lost interest episode 5 or whenever and moved on without saying much, whereas now there's a series of increasingly lowered bars in their wake.

So anyway, yeah. It sure is There.

[entropy-sea-system]

In light of how some people (including aros!) have been throwing certain identities under the bus in criticising the aro manifesto, I am making this post. Im demiromantic allosexual and nonfriending aplatonic, and lovelustic aro.

To start off, I hate the aro manifesto too and find issue with its queerphobia and romance negativity. However, this does not mean you get to throw romance repulsion under the bus (although Im not romance repulsed and am aro, I support romance repulsed aros and other romance repulsed people!) As it is not inherently romance negativity or queerphobia to be repulsed by romance! Romance repulsed people are great.

Now since that's out of the way, I want to talk about something that is a way even aros shit on certain identities. First of all I would like to say that the aro manifesto literally NEVER denigrates platonic love or nonromantic love, EVER(in fact it actually encourages it while tearing into romantic love). So you are not even making a point about the manifesto itself if you do this.

There are people who don't feel platonic love and/or nonromantic love. And we will always exist. Let's not be hostile to these experiences. It is not wrong at all to not feel any kind of love. Loveless people, whether loveless aro, loveless apl, loveless due to neurodivergence, and so on, are amazing and we should support these experiences!

Let me make that very clear. In fact it is also very okay to only feel romantic love, regardless of your orientation(reminder that some aros do feel romantic love, and in fact it may also be the only type of love some aros feel.).

It is also okay to be aplatonic or atertiary in other ways (Im aplatonic and atertiary myself, also adding that you do not have to be aro and/or ace to be these identities!) and/or feel a disconnect from nonromantic and nonsexual relationships. These identities do not exist just so some aros can feel better about themself by putting these identities down.

Do not reinforce platonormativity by treating friendship as mandatory. Friendship is optional just like romance is, even if you need friendship to be happy (which yes can be possible even though you like to shit on people who derive a lot of happiness from romance or feel way bettee when they have a partner, it is possible to feel a need for ANY type of relationship and that is okay!!), not everyone does! In fact some of us need to not have friendship in our life in order to be happy just like you may need to not have romance in your life for the same reason!

It's not the fault of loveless aros that aromanticism is seen as devoid of all kinds of love by arophobes/aromisics! Some aros fit the 'stereotype' of aromantics and that's okay. Its the fact that people assume all aros are loveless that is the problem.

There is nothing wrong with being loveless and please remember that loveless people still are not even accepted within the aro community. As much as being loveless is a stereotype used to malign aros, the identity itself is hardly respected within OR outside the aro community and you need to understand this. If you only give voice to and respect aros who experience a lot of nonromantic love, you are completely missing the point and are silencing loveless people in the community.

It is also ableist to use ableist slurs (especially slurs used against people with aspd) towards loveless people, especially since some people who are neurodivergent cannot feel love or feel a disconnect from love due to their neurodivergence (and no, we do not need to feel love or be completely devoid of neurodivergence or mental illness to be given respect!).

You will not become acceptable to society by doing this. To arophobes/aromisics, you are not superior to loveless aros, aplatonics, atertiary people, or other people with a disconnect from love or nonromantic and nonsexual relationships . They target all of us. Instead of looking down on people for not feeling love, or for not feeling nonromantic love, support all of these experiences and extend compassion to other people even if they aren't exactly like you in every way.

(Note: the term nonsexual is used here because some people who don't want some/most types of nonromantic relationships may still want sexual relationships that are nonromantic in nature, and I wanted to reflect that in the wording! And also because the aro community does not actually pressure people to want nonromantic relationships that are solely sexual!)

[pleasejustletpercyrest]

I’m surprised I haven’t caved and done this yet, but I NEED to talk about how fucked up it is that ole Papa Ricky missed out on prime ace/aro representation via Leo Valdez in favor of? Ruining part of his character arc? Let’s get into it.

Essentially, Leo’s entire character is based off of the loser boy who relentlessly flirts with anything that moves because he’s desperate. We see this in almost every book until he starts to get serious, and of course when the Calypso plot line begins. IGNORING THAT ENTIRE SECTION OF THE BOOKS, and instead looking more closely towards the whole “seventh wheel” thing, I would very much like to point my gay little finger and declare Leo on the a-spec.

Leo as a character is very performative, and we see him taking the role of the comedian, or the resident funny guy along with his throwaway usefulness as the engineer and repairer. In his POV multiple times we see a deeper exploration to his thoughts and actions, while in everyone else’s eyes, he’s just annoying, funny, and hyperactive. While this is an entirely different post I should be making in the name of Leo Valdez and all of his quirks and flaws, I also think that this inherently plays into the loneliness and separation that we see over and over again casting him as the third/fifth/seventh wheel.

I think there’s also something very telling about that desperation. Besides Rick very quickly throwing him into a romance to solve most of his “problems”, a lot of the earlier books show him flirting and throwing himself at women, but there’s no SUBSTANCE to it. In my personal experience, and in something very often seen in the aro/Ace community, to fit into social norms, you often try to attach yourself quickly to people, or convince yourself and your peers that you are experiencing crushes/attraction for a way to fit in to conversation and convention. Unintentionally, Rick wrote this little playboy character who is SO EASILY read as queer, specifically ace/aro!!!!

While we can only give the books so much credit for diversity and representation (as they are written by a cishet white man well past his 30s), the way that Leo is written so stereotypically gives me FUEL to headcanon that he is better than written. I like to think of his third wheel era with Piper and Jason as a sort of PART 1 to this realization, and then PART 2 comes around with Hazel and Frank. There could have been so many silly interactions if he was actually pursued as a queer character, and I will forever rage because of the sloppily thrown labels after HoO with Nico’s coming out arc.

(Once again, big W for the representation being shown, but I do have some issues with the execution)

I just imagine Leo, confused, watching these relationships on the Argo II and taking notes about what romantic attraction looks like. He has messy notes scribbled on his palm like:

-Laughs at joke that is NOT funny because they are blinded by love???

-Look like idiots holding hands and staring into each others eyes

-‘I would die for you’ but in a sexy way (aka how to date in demigod 101)

-Whatever the fuck Percy and Annabeth have going on

Relationships, specifically romantic ones, seem to be the only way that Rick truly allows important interactions to happen. What happened to declaring your loyalty but in a platonic sense? What happened to fighting for the power of friendship? What happened to Grover?!?!!!

I also truly believe that there could have been an entirely new angle explored between Nico and Leo’s relationship, and how they could’ve become tentative friends after Leo comes back from the dead, especially after the death of Jason Grace. I see perfectly an interaction that would go something like:

Leo, approaching Nico wearily at the dining pavilion: hey man, how did you realize you were gay?

Nico, not paying much attention, absolutely destroying a bowl of cereal: didn’t like women, liked men

Leo, nodding seriously, knowing full well that he isn’t gay but also not straight: I see…

ADDITIONALLY there could have been such a fun friendship with Piper and Leo if Rick Riordan wasn’t a coward and actually gave Piper a character arc where she was established as queer instead of just sprinkling it in at random. Piper, as a daughter of Aphrodite, with that ‘love sense’, I truly believe they’re could have been such fun scenes such as:

Piper, suspicious that Leo isn’t straight: so…you have any crushes?

Leo, panicking because now he has to think of someone who could reasonably be seen as someone he was crushing on: uh, um, uh, what’re you? A cop???

Piper, getting literally no vibes of any attraction whatsoever from Leo, throwing her tf off: uh, maybe

This also leaves the very real, very hilarious question of what Leo would see if he ever met Aphrodite. As Jason sees a lot of Piper, and Percy sees basically just Annabeth, I think it would be interesting to have an internal dialogue of Leo meeting the goddess of love and having her features shift constantly to try and fit an impossible attraction by melding together traits that are stereotypically pretty or beautiful.

Not all of this was entirely coherent, but I have very strong feelings on this headcanon and I am HORRIBLE at articulating anything in a way that makes sense. Thank you for, once again, coming to my Teddy Talky.

[thechaseofspades]

you ever think about how team magic includes the main three kinds of love like familial (Lena and Vi) platonic (Webby and Vi) and romantic (Lena and Webby) and that’s what makes the trios magic so powerful

First off, apologies for letting this sit in my inbox as long as it did instead of unleashing it upon the world.

Secondly, yyyeeeeeeessssssss!!!

And as someone who is very aro, it's cool to see love represented in several different ways. We already need more platonic rep, and who doesn't like a found family? Seriously if you hate found family what are you even doing here...

This also makes them fun to write because you get to explore all these different kinds of love. I do think Webby and Violet need more duo time because we really only got the one episode, but that's something we can work on as fans and creators. (That feels weird. Pretend I said something else besides creators.)

One of the things I love about this fandom is that it embraces the new characters. Not just the OCs (Lena, Violet, Della, etc), but especially the ones added partway through the series. Instead of being bummed that Violet is third-wheeling a popular ship, we're out here welcoming her with open arms and making the trio even better. That's just super duper cool to me.

[amalgamezz]

About your aro post in your tags you said you don’t care for any loves (romantic, familial [<- I don’t feel that one too :D] etc.) does that go for friendships as well? Or are you more of a person who doesn’t care for connection at all? I hope I worded that right…

heya, thank you for this ask, and no worries, your wordings are fine! sorry, this will be a long one because my audhd demands that i should provide full contexts 😔

as i interacted and got to know more about aplatonic and loveless communities, i found a certain solidarity/kinship with them. ever since i was in elementary, friendship has never been something i actively seek myself. i still got along well with classmates. my relationships with coworkers are chill and good. i have mutuals and friendly acquaintances here and there to talk about our shared interests. i try to maintain a good relationship with my family because capitalism sucks ass, especially for single people. in a way, this, too, is how i practice relationship anarchy — to give each casual and non-casual relationship i have a function and learn to appreciate them instead of putting the burdens on one or two committed relationships. for me, friendship has become a label for happy coincidences born out of those relationships after long and frequent interactions, if both parties desire a name for it. i have some positive connections with friends who i trust with my life, and i would mourn intensively should i lose them, but tbh, im not sure if i would personally call it "love".

i was lovequeer before i am loveless. im actually still considering myself lovequeer in a way that i strongly believe that love doesnt have to be romantic and that no kind of love is superior to the other. my personal relationship with love is complicated, but mostly sour. as an aro, i am a fierce defender of non-romantic loves. it annoys me greatly when people casually throw amatonormative phrases such as "there is no platonic explanation for this" or "friends dont do that" around. it is usually a hopeless and lonely battle because people dont really care about "not all loves are romantic" until you reject the concept of love altogether. more often than not, it becomes a gotcha towards aros who express their frustration with obsession over love by society.

this frustration, too, drew me closer to the concept of lovelessness. lovelessness means different things to different people, but for me, its the rejection of love being a superior, necessary, or moral trait of a human being. i had a knee-jerk reaction at first when i learned the term, but the more i read about it and introspect, the more it resonates with me. i remember how my parents hit me when i was a kid. i remember my aunt chewed me out in front of my entire family for expressing my wish to stay single and childless. i remember being driven to tears as my dad sneakily threw out a gift from my friend that i hung on my car and replaced it with a rosary. when asked why, they said because they wanted what was best for me. because they wanted me to be happy. because they loved me. it all sounded contradictory, but i have been with them long enough to know that they were being genuine. i dont wanna think its not a real love because i dont find it useful and more often than not, it only makes me question myself if i have been a fair evaluator and get guilty when i think im not. instead, i just have to accept that good intentions dont always bring good outcomes. their love is real, but its like a sun that burns and hurts more intensively the closer i get to it. i started coming to terms with love being a neutral but strong emotional motive that drives humans to do something — just like pleasure, joy, anger, sadness, envy, etc. whether you do good, bad, or neither because of it solely depends on you. i can acknowledge that they love me, but that doesnt mean they should be able to use it as an excuse to hurt me. this applies to all kinds of love.

i have nothing against love or the people who cherish it, but as i start dissecting and understanding more about love, it becomes less and less significant in my life. i start to realise that i dont need to love someone to bring them happiness or do good for them. i dont need to love my friends to care for or emotionally support them when they need it. i dont need to love my mutuals or even strangers to consider donating for their groceries. i dont need to love the victims of war to condemn the hideous crimes committed against them by some certain govts. love doesnt make me human. i just simply am, and im happy with the loveless relationships/connections i currently have.