#especially Martin cause he’s serving looks

[malarkgirlypop]

Martin’s one just makes me cackle like sir why are you so cunty ahahahah

| Moodboards & edits |

Taglist: @shamelessbirdlight @mads-weasley @anothergirlwithkaleidoscopeeyes @tvserie-s-world @alyxzanderthebored @whoahersheybars @i-dont-like-bullies @scarecrowmax @nixoninc @generousdreamlanddestiny @howunexpectedlyso @mariner-2 @wecomrades @this-dog-just-aint-gonna-hunt @pipster4107 @easycompany123 @whovian45810 @now-im-a-belieber @lewis-winters @vat69nix @acdassenza @labarboteuse @msmercury84 @parajumpboots

Please let me know if you’d like to be added or removed! 💕

[fangirl-dot-com]

Chapter 22 - This Was Not the Spa I was Looking For

Uuuhhh, I don't even know what this was. I had an idea and then this other idea fought the first one and won? so, it's completely different than what I had in mind, but ya know what? its written and done.

There is slight SLIGHT angst, but everything is good in the end :)

so sorry for the delay - will be updating a lot this weekend!

like always comments, questions, concerns, messages in my inbox, reblogs, and likes are always appreciated! Love you all and enjoy :D

Budapest Not Included

Champions Standings 

Max Verstappen – 284 points 

Charles Leclerc – 227 points 

Lando Norris – 189 points 

Y/n L/n – 163 points 

Carlos Sainz – 112 points 

Oscar Piastri – 91 points 

Lewis Hamilton – 83 points 

Alex Albon – 44 points 

Fernando Alonso – 41 points 

George Russell – 40 points 

Logan Sargeant – 30 points 

Daniel Ricciardo – 23 points

Lance Stroll – 15 points 

Pierre Gasly – 12 points 

Yuki Tsunoda – 8 points 

Valtteri Bottas – 1 point 

Nico Hulkenberg 

Kevin Magnussen 

Zhou Guanyu 

Esteban Ocon 

Constructors Standings 

Red Bull – 447 points 

Ferrari – 339 points 

McLaren – 280 points 

Mercedes – 123 points 

Williams – 74 points 

Aston Martin – 56 points 

Alpha Tauri – 31 points 

Alpine – 12 points 

Alpha Romeo – 1 point 

HAAS – 0 points 

f1 has posted

f1 Y/n L/n and Max Verstappen are out of the Belgium Grand Prix after the Red Bull of Verstappen hit the back of L/n. The latter skidded across the track before rolling over. L/n will be looked over at the medical site, especially after her last DNF back in Japan.

liked by y/n.nation, maxverSTOPpen, orange_army, and 802,394 others

max_and_rookie nah man, I like max but that was seriously his fault

y/n_on_top y/n had the priority to make way for him to win. he just ruined both of their races

max_all_the_way y/n should have just let him keep going tho?

redbullcan no she shouldn't cause Red Bull gave the 2-1 strategy, putting priority for the second car

maxiel333 I fear this is Azerbaijan 2018 all over again

f1fan well there goes that amazing teammate bond. great job max, what is this, 7 teammates? bout to be 8

Once again, you were hanging upside down, in the rain. But thankfully, this time you were conscious and talking. 

You pressed the button that immediately went to your panicking race engineer. 

“I’m fine Mitch. Stupid rain. This was definitely not the Spa I was looking forward to. You tell my asshole of a teammate that he owes me.” 

You switched your radio off before Mitch could reply. You were fuming as the marshals were trying to get you out once again. Your race suit was becoming wetter and wetter by the minute. Your back ached as you tried to move. 

So, how did this all happen? 

You had been able to get around Max, per team request to make way on the track that was a little less rainy. Apparently, Max thought that you were trying to get the jump on him and completely rammed the back of your RB20, sending you flying. It was definitely a mirror reflection of Azerbaijan 2018. 

How you ended up rolled over once again, you didn’t know. Maybe your car just didn’t have great balance when it came to kerbs and getting rear-ended. 

In a few minutes, the marshals were able to get you out. As you stretched when you got out, your eyes landed on Max’s RB20 with its nose crumpled and wheel hanging off. You smirked under your helmet. 

“Serves him right.” 

You two were doing amazing that weekend. Max had gotten pole once again, and you were right behind him. Except that Charles was so close behind Max most of the race. Mitch had given you the 2-1 and had told you that GP had also given the Dutchman the same order. 

There was still time for you to have given the position back, but you were quicker on the slicks. You could have easily brought home another 1-2 race. 

But now Charles would probably get his third win of the season because Max was too selfish. 

You watched as he climbed out of his own cockpit and your blood began to boil. He not only ruined his race, but yours as well. Your arms were crossed as you stood in the rain. Replays of the wreck were playing on the big screens, just for your enjoyment. 

The longer you watched, the angrier you got. 

A push to your arm brought your eyes from the big screen to the Dutch driver. 

“The fuck was that?” he angrily questioned. 

Your eyebrow raised under your helmet. Although you were shorter, you knew how to throw your weight around. So, you shoved his shoulder back. 

“Me? The fuck was that with you Max. I was given priority! This was your fault!” you shouted, earning looks from the marshals around the two of you. 

Max just glared. “My fault? That was clearly a rookie mistake.” 

He pushed you again. 

You let out a dark chuckle. “Rookie mistake? No Max. That was a you mistake.” 

Your pointer finger dug into his chest, earning you another shove. One that sent you to the ground. You were now down, looking up at Max as he glared down at you. Tears welled up in your eyes as you watched him stalk away. 

A marshal was quick to help you to your feet. Max didn’t ride back with you to the paddock and walked the entire way. You, however, took advantage of the ride back and immediately tried to hide inside your drivers room when you got back. You kept your helmet on the entire time and wanted to refuse to go to the medical room. Mitch was adamant about you going since the last time you were bruised pretty badly. 

She made sure it was quick: just a check over. After, your race engineer left you to yourself. While you undressed and peeled off your wet race suit, your mind started swimming. 

Feelings of guilt and anxiety were building in your core. Soon, you were beginning to sob as you sat on your little bed. Really, all you wanted to do was curl up and sleep, preferably with your boyfriend, who was all the way in the Ferrari garage. 

Your sobs quieted down as your eyes began to droop. Taking a nap right now seemed to be a good choice as you lied down on the small bed, curling up in a ball. A nap would keep you safe from whatever was going on. You didn’t have to deal with anything if you were asleep. 

Right as you were falling asleep, Max had just gotten back to the garage. His helmet was in his hands and his eyes were to the floor, missing the disapproving looks from everyone. On the way back, he had time to think about what he had done. 

Yes, he knew that you were given priority, but didn’t know exactly why. You didn’t seem faster on the slicks or were gaining. He didn’t expect you to go around him like that. And now looking back, he could see that you were making a way for him by getting rid of some water on the track so he could get more grip. 

What he didn’t expect was a shove to the back and a punch to the face. He barely had time to turn around before he landed on his ass on the concrete of the garage. He was so taken back that he really couldn’t understand what was going on. 

All he knew was that his face hurt, his ass hurt, and his pride hurt. 

How could he have done that to you? 

When he got his bearings, he finally saw a certain Monegasque be held back from jumping on him. Spits of French and English were thrown at him, and he deserved it. Once he was back on his feet, Arthur took two handfuls of his race suit and pulled him down. 

There was hardly a height difference, but right now Arthur looked a lot bigger than Max did. 

Arthur leaned close to Max’s face. 

“How dare you? You know that she would do anything for you and what do you do to thank her? You push her down. You break her down. You blame her for your mistake.”

Silence was all that Max could offer. 

Arthur scoffed as he let go. 

“You’re no better than her parents.” 

With that, he left and walked toward your room. He harshly pushed the door open, only to find you sound asleep, oblivious to the world outside. Arthur turned off the lights before gently climbing into your bed. He didn’t know how the two of you had fit, but you did. 

He guessed that you must have sensed him as you turned over and dug your head into his neck almost immediately. Arthur pulled out his phone before googling flights back to Monaco, back to home. He’d keep you in his pocket if he had anything to do it. 

Race Results: 

Charles Leclerc – 25 points 

Carlos Sainz – 18 points 

Oscar Piastri – 16 points (fastest lap) 

Valtteri Bottas – 12 points 

Lewis Hamilton – 10 points 

George Russell – 8 points 

Fernando Alonso – 6 points 

Alex Albon – 4 points 

Logan Sargeant – 2 point 

Zhou Guanyu – 1 point (highest placing this season) 

Lando Norris (spun out on last lap and barely missed the points) 

Daniel Ricciardo 

Yuki Tsunoda 

Kevin Magnussen (highest placing this season)

Nico Hulkenberg (highest placing this season) 

Pierre Gasly 

Esteban Ocon 

Lance Stroll 

Y/n L/n – DNF 

Max Verstappen – DNF 

Champions Standings: 

Max Verstappen – 284 points

Charles Leclerc – 252 points 

Lando Norris – 189 points 

Y/n L/n – 163 points 

Carlos Sainz – 130 points 

Oscar Piastri – 107 points 

Lewis Hamilton – 93 points 

George Russell – 48 points 

Alex Albon – 48 points 

Fernando Alonso – 45 points 

Logan Sargeant – 32 points 

Daniel Ricciardo – 23 points 

Lance Stroll – 15 points 

Pierre Gasly - 12 points 

Valtteri Bottas – 13 points 

Yuki Tsunoda – 8 points

Zhou Guanyu – 1 point 

Nico Hulkenberg 

Kevin Magnussen 

Esteban Ocon 

Constructors Standings

Red Bull – 447 points 

Ferrari – 382 points 

McLaren – 270 points 

Mercedes – 141 points 

Williams – 80 points 

Aston Martin – 60 points 

Alpha Tauri – 31 points 

Alpha Romeo – 14 points 

Alpine – 12 points 

Haas – 0 points 

Max had gotten a long talking to after everything was over. Christian probably screamed at him for over an hour, plus what GP and then what Mitch had to say after. He had wanted to apologize beforehand, but it seemed as though Arthur didn’t wat Max near you within a 25 foot radius. 

And when the Dutchman thought he could speak to you at the hotel, he had to find out the hard way that you had left that afternoon to go back to Monaco before the second Italian Grand Prix. Max huffed as he thought over what he should do. 

Just as you had anxiety and guilt about the incident, Max dubbed his as 10 times worse. This was it. In the past, everyone told him that he always messed up teammates for other drivers. That’s why Daniil didn’t work out, or Carlos, or Daniel, or Pierre, or Alex, or Checo. One way or another, Max always fucked it up. 

Well, that’s what his mind was telling him. 

And he didn’t want you to just be another name to the list. 

So with phone in hand, and pilot on call, he made the executive decision to fly back to Monaco. He knew exactly where your apartment was, since you gave me the address when you first moved in and a key for emergencies. 

When he landed, he went straight to the grocery store. Knowing that you had the cooking skills of Arthur and Charles combined and the pickiness of Lando amplified, he guessed that you and Arthur probably haven’t had dinner yet. So, he grabbed ingredients to make pizza. Simple enough. 

He drove to your flat and was suddenly enveloped with fear. He hit his head on the steering wheel once he parked. 

“I’m so stupid,” he whispered to himself as he gazed at the lights on in the windows. His head was still on the wheel as he turned to look down. What he failed to notice was you looking through the window. 

“Cheri? Is everything alright?” you heard Arthur call out from the kitchen. You two had just burnt some pasta while trying to make dinner. You gazed down at the familiar car parked in front. 

“Cheri?” 

Now Arthur was close, also looking out the window. 

“It’s Max.” 

The Monegasque scoffed. “What’s he doing here?” 

You hummed. “He’s probably wanting to apologize. I know what he’s like. Thur, he didn’t mean it.” 

Arthur’s eyes changed from cold to understanding. He had heard enough stories from his own brother along with gossip in the paddock about Max’s childhood (or lack thereof). 

He huffed once before saying, “Go to him and then invite him up.” 

He watched as your eyes lit up, before you placed a kiss on his lips. A smile formed on his lips as he watched you slide shoes on and go out the door. Arthur turned back to the kitchen. He guessed he needed to clean up before you invited thee Max Verstappen into the house. 

Max was so caught in his head that he missed you peering in. Only when you slightly knocked on the door, did he jump. He accidentally pressed the horn, making it echo down the empty road. He quickly unlocked the door, which let you slip in. 

His blue eyes gazed into yours before he started to cry. You looked at him with a frown on your face as he tried to desperately wipe his tears. He took many harsh inhales, trying to get his emotions under control. 

Max expected you to yell, scream, and hit at him. Yet, you gently placed a hand on his back and started to comfort him, like he’s done many times before. 

You let him cry and cry until he was ready to talk. 

“I’m such an asshole,” was the first thing that escaped his lips after his sobs started to break. 

You chuckled. “I could have told you that.” 

Max’s lips curved upwards in a small smile before going straight once again. He took another shuddering breath before continuing. 

“I don’t want to repeat the past. I am so sorry for what I did to you, that was unfair of me. I wanted to apologize before you left, but I was too late. And I didn’t want to end today without apologizing to you. Because I don’t want you to be another teammate that I failed.” 

He turned to you, eyes still glossy with leftover tears. 

You leaned to give him a hug across the dash, one that he was thankful for. 

He was the first one to part, still wiping at his eyes. You only gazed at him with compassion. When he was done sniffling, you started to talk. 

“Max, look at me please?” 

He turned his head so his bloodshot blue eyes could look at you. He looked utterly exhausted and your heart broke. If he was anything like you, you knew how much guilt he was carrying. 

“You’re not, we’re not, going to repeat the past. I just need you to understand that I am your team player. And when I’m given a team order, I will follow it every time.” 

Max’s head nodded in agreement. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“I already forgave you before I left the paddock. I heard Christian yelling at you.” 

A snort left his nose. “It was probably for the best.” 

The car was filled with a comfortable silence before Max broke it. 

“Did you and Arthur have dinner yet?” 

“Max. What do you think?” 

“I’m going to take that as a no. Good think I bought groceries. Seriously, I am getting you and the Leclercs cooking lessons for Christmas.” 

“I’m not that bad.” 

“You almost burnt down my entire kitchen.” 

“Not on purpose.”  

y/n.89 has posted

y/n.89 have pizza, teammate, and bestie - will travel

liked by maxverstappen1, arthur_leclerc, logansargeant, and 90,294 others

y/n&co guys I was super worried but now I'm perfectly fine

rookie+maxie guys I truly believe that y/n is going to stay his teammate for as long as possible

best_duo frfr - no one has been on his level and he finally has a teammate that can keep up with him

y/n.nation generational talent right there

maxverstappen1 glad I could feed you two

y/n.89 we would have been fine on our own maxverstappen1 sure, after you burnt your food and almost set your apartment on fire y/n.89 hey, Arthur was there too? arthur_leclerc what is with this slander?????

f1_fan guys guys guys, it's the Dutch Grand Prix and then MONZA hello?????

true_tifosi I know I want to see Charles win again, but y/n deserves something

dutch_anthem_on_repeat time for MAX MAX MAX SUPER MAX

orange_army we are ready with flags and capes, bring it on Netherlands!!

TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @glitterquadricorn @laura-naruto-fan1998 @treehouse-mouse @sam-is-lost @kagatinkita @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @myxticmoon @angsthology @cmleitora @agent-curt-mega @graciewrote @ashy-kit @slutofmultifandom @aexitizen-ln4 @sugarvibez @vellicora @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @cashtons-wife @hoetel-manager @xcharlottemikaelsonx @jayda12 @ilove-tswizzle @justme2042 @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @stopeatread @cha-hot @sadg3 @iloveyou3000morgan @s4turnsl0ver @alessioayla @torchbearerkyle @leptitlu @awekbachira @shreks-sugar-daddy @v1naco @stan-josie @mellowarcadefun @badassturtle13 @beskardroids @callisposts @poppyalice2001 @juniper-july19 @lizzypiastri

[desmon1995]

The spirit of Cyrus and how the system crushed her.

One of the biggest changes from The Warriors 1979 film to this new vision isn’t just the gender swap of key characters—it’s how the police and the entire system are reframed as the real evil in the story. When Cyrus gathers all the gangs, her vision isn’t just about peace between rivals; she’s calling for a unified front against the cops who lurk around and disrupt their lives. Her speech isn’t about street power, but about empowering the community to stand against the forces of oppression.

The truth is, Cyrus sees the real enemy isn’t within their own streets—it’s those serving a system that’s set on keeping them down. History has proven her right: policing in America has often been about protecting the elite, silencing anyone they deem "unacceptable," especially if they don’t fit the “ideal” mold. Indigenous people, Black and Brown communities, anyone who dares to exist outside white, privileged norms—they’re the ones society polices, the ones the system works to erase or control.

In the original, male Cyrus came across as just another "big bad" trying to be a mob boss. When he dies, you’re almost led to shrug it off, like his dream was just a fantasy. But here, with a Black woman as Cyrus—a true activist—you feel her tragic death echo, channeling the loss of figures like Martin Luther King Jr.

And then there’s Luther. He’s an unsettling character, someone the system actually benefits. Why? Because he’s white. He gets away with things others can’t, shielded by his appearance and privilege, even as he revels in tearing the community apart. Of course, someone like Luther would hate Cyrus’s dream—it threatens his automatic advantage. The cops won’t go after Luther or his gang, just like the police tend to ignore white supremacists and hate groups today. As long as they look a certain way, they’re not seen as a “real” threat.

What’s chilling is how Luther and the Rogues are invited to join a movement of solidarity, to unite with the community, and instead they become the ones who tear it all down. When Luther sings his first song, it’s jarring—a complete shift from the soulfulness of “Can You Count?” to his arrogant, snide tone. He’s out of sync with the world Cyrus dreamed of, and he uses that to his advantage. He casually tips off the cops, sneers at the women (calling them “girls”), and mocks non-white characters for how they speak. He embodies privilege weaponized.

Meanwhile, the police barely lift a finger throughout the album. They only go after the Warriors when they’re at their most vulnerable but ignore every other gang causing havoc. Officer Barnes, for example, uses his authority to harass the Warriors, almost baiting them into a fight. When Ajax gets cornered in "The Park at Night," Barnes makes it clear that he sees her as prey, but he still knows he can call for backup with a snap of his fingers. Another officer, Victor, kills Fox in cold blood without a hint of remorse.

This album’s ACAB message is no footnote—it’s the heartbeat of the entire story. The gangs know the police are their greatest danger, the Borroughs dream of change under Cyrus’s leadership, and even Luther sees the cops as a tool to weaponize. The Warriors, once they leave Coney, see how deep the rot goes.

By the end, there’s an underlying message that speaks louder than anything else: this system is beyond saving. It needs to be torn down because it was never built to protect them. This is where director Davis and her mark shine, bringing a fire and an urgency to the story that makes it resonate with today’s social climate.

And honestly, I hope Lin-Manuel Miranda keeps collaborating with voices like hers. It’s making his work grow in ways that feel bold, necessary, and ultimately timeless.

[brightmalcolm]

if memory serves, I feel like one of the teasers for "we'll do this in season 3 if we get picked up" was a flashback or maybe a deeper storyline with Jackie, what do you think that would've looked like/how would you have wanted to see that incorporated into the show?

oh yeah I remember that! plus we learned a bit more about her in season 2...I think it would have been used as like a format to show more flashbacks, like I mentioned maybe of martin's trial. and like some history about how she and gil met (which we now know happened after he knew the whitly's) and her relationship with malcolm. maybe they'd go somewhere with her thing about the whitly's being "cursed", they never really fleshed that out and I think it would cause some tension, especially if gil and jessica continued their romance.

[reality-detective]

The circus is exhausting, the performances never cease and on top of it they keep getting more intensely bizarre. A lot of it is mere distraction; look over here! Now look over there! Whilst behind the scenes who knows what is really going on.

A lot of the stories coming out now are old news to some of us; David Martin more than a year ago already exposed the NIH funding of gain of function at the Wuhan lab, naming names and exposing the money trail, but it is only now that it’s hit MSM headlines, with an emphasis on blaming China.

To be honest with you, the real question is, was there even a virus? (Bear with me, don’t freak out).How can we be so sure when it’s not been proven to exist? How can we talk of lab leaks or gain of function of something that to this day still remains a ‘ghost’? A set of fragments assembled by a computer model and labelled Sars Cov-2.

I know many of you think that even questioning its existence is madness, I get it, after three years of brainwashing us about it, it seems ludicrous to contemplate the possibility that yet again we were deceived, but in the aftermath of 9/11 nobody would have put into question what we thought our eyes had seen, but what exactly did we see?

It was Louis Pasteur who convinced a skeptical medical community that contagious germs cause disease; his “germ theory” now serves as the official explanation for most illness. However, in his private diaries he states unequivocally that in his entire career he was not once able to transfer disease with a pure culture of bacteria. He admitted that the whole effort to prove contagion, was a failure, leading to his famous death bed confession that “the germ is nothing, the terrain is everything.” 

While the incidence and death statistics for COVID-19 may not be reliable, there is no question that many people were taken ill with a strange new disease—with odd symptoms like gasping for air and “fizzing” feelings as hundreds of thousands died.

Many suspect that the cause is not viral but a kind of pollution unique to the modern age—electromagnetic pollution. Today we are surrounded by a jangle of overlapping and jarring frequencies—from power lines to the fridge to the cell phone. The most recent addition to this disturbing racket is fifth generation wireless—5G.

On September 26, 2019, 5G wireless was turned on in Wuhan, China (and officially launched November 1) with a grid of about ten thousand antennas—more antennas than exist in the whole United States, all concentrated in one city. A spike in cases occurred on February 13, the same week that Wuhan turned on its 5G network for monitoring traffic. Illness subsequently followed 5G installation in all the major cities in America.

Since the dawn of the human race, medicine men and physicians have wondered about the cause of disease, especially what we call “contagions,” numerous people ill with similar symptoms, all at the same time.

Do we catch the illness from others or from some outside influence? Could some RNA fragments, which cannot even be defined as a living organism, cause such havoc? Perhaps something else is involved—something that has upset the balance of nature and made us more susceptible to disease? Perhaps there is no “coronavirus” at all; perhaps, as Pasteur said, “the germ is nothing, the terrain is everything.” 

I don’t have the answer, but as I lie in bed with what we refer to as the ‘flu’, (or is just a detox process?), I cannot help but wonder about all the possibilities.

We have been deceived many times about many things. Keeping us in perpetual fear of deadly viruses which seems like a very convenient tactic for those that wish to totally control us, this in itself, is enough to make my cynical mind open to exploring all the probabilities.

I look forward to the day when I actually understand what exactly causes us to feel like we're sick, is it really a virus or frequencies being used in a nefarious way⁉️

Additional Note: 👇

The virus has never been isolated by anyone including NIH or the CDC. However there was a virologist who took 1500 test samples who tried isolating the virus and all 1500 tests turned out to be influenza A and influenza B, most were influenza A.

I'm just asking a lot of questions which is what everyone should be doing. 🤔

[beardedmrbean]

Medical professionals sounded off after the latest "Twitter Files" release showed that both the Trump and Biden administrations made efforts to suppress views and ideas about COVID-19 that contradicted the White House’s official stance. 

Independent journalist David Zweig tweeted the findings Monday, explaining that certain ideas and questions about COVID-19 by doctors and scientists were suppressed during the pandemic.

"Dissident yet legitimate content was labeled as misinformation, and the accounts of doctors and others were suspended both for tweeting opinions and demonstrably true information," Zweig added.

Dr. Marc Siegel, a Fox News medical contributor, criticized the government’s  attempts to label legitimate concerns as "misinformation."

"Very disturbing," Siegel said on "Fox & Friends" Tuesday. "Censorship, especially coming from the government, is on the road to totalitarianism."

The Trump administration was reportedly trying to prevent panic when the pandemic emerged, a tactic Siegel argued doesn’t work.

"I don't think you can control panic by controlling information," Siegel told host Griff Jenkins. "You cause panic by doing that." 

The Biden administration reportedly focused on the spread of vaccine misinformation. Zweig shared an example of Dr. Martin Kulldorff, a professor at Harvard Medical School, who was flagged for his view that children and those who have already contracted COVID-19 don��t need to be vaccinated. 

Dr. Siegel stressed the importance of free and open debate, especially in such uncertain times as the pandemic. 

"I don't actually agree completely with [Kulldorff’s] statements on how he feels the vaccine works," Siegel clarified. "But you know what I do believe in? His right to say so. His right to say so on Twitter and anywhere else he wants."

Fox News contributor Dr. Marty Makary praised Kulldorff Tuesday as being one of the "smartest, most accurate minds" since the emergence of the pandemic. He noted that Kulldorff served on the CDC’s advisory group on child vaccinations but was then dismissed on Twitter for having a differing opinion.

"That’s unfortunately the state of repair that we need to engage in," Makary said on "Fox & Friends First." "I think public health officials look really bad for this. The public needs an apology."

Makary said the solution to this censorship issue is to remove the "gag rule" on government-employed scientists who are prohibited from speaking directly to members of the media. 

He then warned that the pandemic-era censorship negatively impacted science, and he called out the government for pushing its own misinformation. 

"This has been going on for a long time, where state-controlled media censors all information that is not aligned with the leading political party in power. And that's sadly what we're seeing right here," he added.

"There's a long list of misinformation from the government. They just wanted to change the narrative."

[drstonetrivia]

Chapter 199 Trivia (Part 2)

(Previous part)

The drainage function Xeno is talking about here that caused the Perseus to sink is probably the bilge pump. The bilge is the lowest part of the ship. As any water on a ship drains downwards, a pump is needed to remove the water so it doesn't collect.

Without anyone ensuring the pump didn't stop, the hull filled with water and the Perseus sank. Bilge water also isn't usually just water, but can be full of other things like oil, chemicals, pitch, and dirt.

The KoS used pillow lift bags to recover the Perseus. To do this, someone needs to dive down and attach them (Taiju and Ryusui again, maybe?), then inflate them with compressed air.

A lifting bag filled with 1L of air lifts 1kg of weight, so if we knew the total size of the bags we could approximate the weight of the Perseus… Except they grossly overestimated, since the ship is flying out of the water rather than lifting slowly in a controlled manner.

Chelsea's iron comment here confuses me because several of the ores they collected include iron in them? Maybe there's just not enough.

The simplicity of the lower half of the mecha shown here along with the briefs reminds me of Astro Boy. The top half I believe is just the "DR" from Dr. Stone along with rocket-ship-inspired arms and Senku's face. Alternatively, it could be a reference to Tetsujin 28, also known in the western audiences as Gigantor, or even Mazinger Z.

Isla Martin Garcia is on the mouth of the Río de la Plata, between Uruguay and Argentina. It's less than 2km^2, and 150 people live there permanently (=Dunbar's number?)

If you're wondering why the KoS is suddenly so far away from Fort Medusa, it's because it's where Stanley docked the Perseus several chapters ago.

Stainless steel uses approximately 11% chromium to get its heat- and rust-resistant properties, but can include other elements as well.

Senku had already introduced bottling to the Ishigami villagers, but the addition of canning means less glass. Canning is especially good because while both methods can last several years, cans don't shatter and also protect from light. They also weigh less!

Francois is making cans of fish meat and "gibier", which is the French word for game, or any kind of hunted meat. Going by the size of the carcasses and the picture on the can, I think it may be cow as Uruguay also eats the most beef per person in the world.

Francois is serving sashimi on a generic model boat. How fancy!

I assume this won't be the design for the next Perseus, since it's made of wood rather than superalloys (and also covered in fish).

Is Carlos jealous or uncomfortable with the fact that Max is reviving someone who looks just like him? I wonder if there's any blood relation…

Taiju is tired for what may be the first time ever! Though it could be because he somehow managed to wear out a pickaxe of all things…

Maya is revival #75 according to the bottle Taiju is holding. It also means Taiju returned back to Fort Medusa to mine rather than staying at Isla Martin Garcia.

Communication between Fort Medusa and Isla Martin Garcia is established thanks to the usual radio setup, but with the addition of a Yagi-Uda antenna. This is a directional antenna, so they may be trying to hide from Whyman.

Senku and Chrome simply mark dangerous items with a skull and crossbones. Xeno? He makes the entire thing into the shape, with gas coming out of the eyes.

Can you get any more cartoonishly villainous, Xeno!?

Xeno uses the Mond process to purify nickel.

The toxic gas he mentions is nickel carbonyl, which can be fatal if absorbed through the skin or inhaled. The gas smells musty or sooty, and decomposes to carbon monoxide quickly. Special gas masks are required to block the fumes.

Xeno loves referring to people as the "mindless/ignorant masses". I wonder if his parents were the original "ignorant masses" telling him to stop messing around with dangerous chemicals in the backyard…

I think this rock that Taiju finally manages to break with the help of Maya (and a new pickaxe) is the same one from before, but from a different angle.

A few outfit changes: Suika's lenses are now full circles and not broken, Xeno's zipper is straight rather than zig-zagged and Charlotte has a little skirt to cover herself up better.

The timeline isn't very clear here, but at least 2 weeks pass between Maya and Charlotte's revival and Xeno's discussion with Senku going by moon phase.

Many people have been revived, but because of the location they likely speak Spanish. We know several of the KoS know English and Japanese, and Francois knows French, so who's translating here?

I think it's funny Xeno didn't get a team-up high-5 from Senku even though everyone else does. They may be superallies now but not even Senku wants to go near those claws…

[disco-elysium-via-polls]

🎵 Instrument of Surrender

"I too have travelled to higher realms..."

+1 Remote Viewers Division

GASTON MARTIN - "Please, officer! Don't encourage him!" He quickly turns to René. "Do spare us the cocaine fairy tales. The RCM isn't interested in them."

KIM KITSURAGI - "Yes, indeed. We are not here to investigate the drug trade of centuries past."

3. "Let's talk about something else."

RENÉ ARNOUX- "Right." The old man stands tall and proud, looking at you inquisitively.

4. [Composure - Legendary 14] What is it about this old soldier that makes him stand so proud?

-1 Threw the *boule* int the sea.

We have basically no chance of success here.

COMPOSURE [Legendary: Failure] - Still, all you see is an old soldier refusing to replace his uniform with a civilian attire.

-1 Morale

RENÉ ARNOUX- "Anything else I can assist you with, officer?" he asks impatiently. "We still have a game to finish."

5. "Thank you for your time!" [Leave.]

Ok. I'd really like to finish exploring the part of the map we have access to right now. We're gonna head south past Siileng.

Roy's Pawnshop. Fast Cash for Faster Times.

In the dumpster are a pair of Fingerless Gloves.

FINGERLESS GLOVES

+1 Electrochemsitry: Cigarette-stained fingertips

Gasoline-stained fingerless gloves in navy blue. They've been worn threadbare, but, being made of wool, still provide some warmth and comfort.

If we equip these and our Flare-Cut Trousers at the same time, we can pass Medium Electrochemistry checks.

WATER LOCK OUT OF ORDER UNTIL WEDNESDAY 7:15 AM

MAN ON WATER LOCK - "G'day to you, officers!"

A burly man hangs out by the water lock, carving up a generous serving of salami with an old hunter's knife. His eyes are fixed on a man stranded on the other side of the water lock -- and on an enormous billboard that has fallen down into the canal between them.

"First things first -- what are you doing here, man on the water lock?"

"Do you know what caused this wreckage?" (Point at the smashed billboard in the canal.)

[Leave.]

MAN ON WATER LOCK - "My friend Barry the Butcher is stuck on the other side of the water lock. I'm keeping him company -- and eating his salami."

BARRY THE BUTCHER - From the corner of your eye you see a man in a yellow shirt and grey overalls waving at you from across the canal. He seems disappointed about the wreckage on the water lock -- *and* the salami.

MAN ON WATER LOCK - "*Very* good stuff. Anything I can do for you, officer?" The man on the water lock picks the skin off a slice of a salami and takes a sizeable bite.

2. "Do you know what caused this wreckage?" (Point at the smashed billboard in the canal.)

MAN ON WATER LOCK - "I wasn't here to witness it, but those look like tyre tracks on that sign. Weird, huh? Then again, plenty of daredevil drivers in Revachol."

INLAND EMPIRE [Easy: Success] - The words *daredevil driver* sound ominous to you.

MAN ON WATER LOCK - "Too bad it also takes a year and a day to repair anything 'round here -- especially a water lock. The rest of the coast is closed off till then."

"Do you know what's further down the coast?"

"Can I have some of that salami?" (Point at his food.)

"Right, bye." [Leave.]

MAN ON WATER LOCK - "Well, there's the fishing village. An abandoned fish market. A bizarro church. Not much use to the congregation, though -- there always seems to be something wrong with it." He thinks for a moment.

"Yeah, not really much else. Just bombed-out ruins."

2. "Can I have some of that salami?" (Point at his food.)

MAN ON WATER LOCK - "Sure thing." He cuts off a slice of salami.

MAN ON WATER LOCK - "Want some too, officer?" he turns to the lieutenant.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Why not?" The lieutenant ponders the offer for a moment, then decides to go for it. He takes a slice of salami from the man and chews on it.

3. "Right, bye." [Leave.]

WATER LOCK CONTROL PANEL - A couple of indicator lights are missing from this control panel. Loose wires dangle from the now-vacant holes. In the middle is a lever -- beneath it, a small metal plaque.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Trivial: Success]- This panel usually closes the water lock, turning it into a bridge that lets you cross the canal -- but there's a crashed "Samaran butter" sign in the way. Pulling the lever *probably* won't do anything.

Pull the lever up.

[Leave.]

WATER LOCK CONTROL PANEL - You pull the lever all the way up until the metal clicks against the contact pins. You hear a soft *clunk*, then...

Push it HARDER.

Release the lever.

WATER LOCK CONTROL PANEL - Nothing happens. A cold gust of wind blowing in from the sea interrupts the silence of the situation.

KIM KITSURAGI - "Mm-hmm." The lieutenant hums to himself while staring at your activities.

2. Release the lever.

WATER LOCK CONTROL PANEL - A spring brings the lever back to its original position. You still need to close the water lock to get across the canal -- some other way.

New task: Close the water lock on Wednesday

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) [Trivial: Success] - Wasn't there a sign over there saying functionality will be restored on Wednesday morning?

2. [Leave.]

Hey, Man on water lock, what do you think about this?

"What's with the lever that does nothing?" (Point at the control panel next to him.)

MAN ON WATER LOCK - "It's supposed to operate the water lock, but as noted... it's all junk right now. Disabled because of the blockage."

"Why is it disabled?"

MAN ON WATER LOCK - "Safety measure. Turns out the panel needs a special key to be re-activated. Wouldn't want anyone moving the water lock with debris still in the channel."

"It'll be restarted on Wednesday morning." He nods his head towards the control panel. "You wanna do the honours when the time comes?"

"Do I ever!" (Nod enthusiastically.)

"We'll see... I'm not all that into manual labour."

MAN ON WATER LOCK - "Great! Just drop in on Wednesday if you want to see the water lock at work. They say the canal crew will be here at 07.15." He cuts a fresh slice from his salami.

TUTORIAL AGENT - The coast part of the map is inaccessible until day 3.

Butter sign down!

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - A crumpled billboard reading "SAMARAN BUTTER" soaks in the canal. Two ugly lines mar the bright countenance of the blond boy depicted.

What is Samaran Butter?

[Visual Calculus - Medium 11] Attempt to reconstruct what happened here.

Nothing more to see here. [Leave.]

PERCEPTION (SIGHT) - Whatever it is, the boy on the billboard seems very happy about it.

2. [Visual Calculus - Medium 11] Attempt to reconstruct what happened here.]

+1 Ominous daredevil feeling.

VISUAL CALCULUS [Medium: Failure] - Just some tasteless advertising at the bottom of a canal. No use rubbernecking now.

3. Nothing more to see here. [Leave.]

[thephantomcasebook]

https://www.tumblr.com/thephantomcasebook/711851774150098944/hi-there-wanted-to-ask-you-something-about-the

Wait what do you mean by Grrm's interview? Will Hotd (and every future Asoiaf Show) ignore the established lore? Is Grrm okay with this? I mean so many people especially Black supporters who are the vast majority of the watchers. Are so angry with the changes in S1. And if the showrunners make more changes in the upcoming seasons, the show will probably get cancelled *hopefully*

 "Martin insisted Fire & Blood served as an "outline" for House of the Dragon, though the show fits in bits and pieces rather than large chunks. "It was an imaginary history book that has a few scenes where I zero in, and I give you a half page of a scene. But, mostly, it's history. It's an outline, and you can't present an outline on television, so it has to be filled in," he said."

Mark my words, if the show is cancelled, it will because of the humongous egos of the cast and producers. People are looking for this show to fail, no one is expecting season 2 to be good. If they go off and have another disastrous press tour where Olivia Cooke and Emma D'arcy act look fucking tools and spout sexist shit that turn people off. If Sara Hess runs her mouth to any and every entertainment rag about how "cool" it is to imagine Alicent and Rhaenyra having sex as little girls. I guarantee you that this show will be DOA.

They don't know how fucking lucky they were that people even gave them a chance after the disastrous marketing campaign for the premiere and the smug and insufferable attitudes of the two main actresses in the press tour.

After "Rings of Power", "She-Hulk", and "Willow" ... no one is going to give "House of the Dragon" the benefit of the doubt. The minute they lose even a quarter of their audience, Warner is gonna pull the plug on it, or Condal is gonna be given his walking papers. They're not gonna be shoveling money they don't have anymore into a furnace for a drop in ratings, or to hear a bunch of London douche bags making millions lecture poor and working class people about "Patriarchy" from their expensive London flats.

If that dude is annoyed by the Daemon fangirls and wrote Alys as a proxy for his frustration, then he's gonna get an ugly surprise when the audience turns on him and the actresses if they can't stay out of the Hollywood and London echo chambers. Cause the audience has had more than enough and they're looking for a reason to not just drop this show but clown and dunk on it, hard.

Condal can either prophet from the lessons learned from others or he will be destroyed by his hubris.

The choice is his.

[nellamente]

Media Capitalism... and its Causes

I will go ahead and start by showing you the definition of "Media Capitalism; "media capitalism” means the formation of PR that is invisible to the public yet totally dominates the public’s consciousness and social thought system" Further on "PR" is short for public relations which means "the set of techniques and strategies related to managing how information about an individual or company is disseminated to the public, and especially the media." Hayes (2023)

From those two definitions we can see how totally aware we are on this topic. If I had to select three words from both, I would choose "Invisible", "Techniques" and "Dominates" which basically sums up the point of Media Capitalism in a very precise way. As proof of this, in the book called "Media Capitalism: Hegemony in the Age of Mass Deception" Thomas Klikauer (the author) argues how "media capitalism has infiltrated the public sphere, society, schools, universities, the world of work and finally, democracy. The book concludes by mentioning that" societies can transition from media capitalism to a post-media- capitalist society." Klikauer (2021)

When the general public thinks of Media Capitalism we think of politicians who are mostly trying to mess with our brains and influence us ....but it is MUCH more than that. As Klikauer discussed, in his book, media capitalism's influence is not temporary and yet can be very effective and is able to change or (the word he used) 'shape' our ways in life. Some studies point out that "exposure to money can increase self-centeredness in society" (Vohs, Mead, & Goode, 2006). Yet this might seem a bit far fetched to some people however, "psychology and capitalism evolved together, making capitalism seem natural when it is actually cultural." Bettache (2023) and this could be the reason why it is overlooked.

"Media capitalism begins and ends with ideology espoused by corporate media and public relations, which serve not only to reproduce capitalism, but entrench it everywhere." Ali (2022). Is "everywhere" too exaggerated?

How does Media Capitalism work and where do we see it?

Let's talk about cinema first. The simple concept of cinema is basically passing on a message, through visuals and audio, in a creative way yet in a non direct way. This leads to the thought of 'since it is not direct, there are MANY ways to derive a message'. Ken Coldicutt in a post called "Cinema and Capitalism" he writes that "The cinema is not only an art, but a vast entertainment industry, an important field for capitalist exploitation." this showing that film is one of the main ways of how capitalism is indirectly taught.

Wolf of Wall street (2013)

When talking about capitalism one cannot not mention one of the most hectic and heavily criticised film; Wolf of Wall Street (2013). According to a video essay by Brendan Morris, besides the film being about the character of Jordan Belford, who was a real life businessman as well as a financial criminal, the legendary filmmaker Martin Scorsese did not showcase the real life character BUT he created his own construction of the character representing the "archetype of the profit incentive within late capitalism". Brendan Morris (2023). However Morris continues to say that the despite the character's continuous desire for more and his unlimited greed, he never "pays the price" of his acquisitiveness in the ways he should have, considering his actions, of his debauchery and his obsession of money, how severe these crimes were. Yet this was just what Scorsese wanted to come out through the character. With this character he showed how the reality of judgement of neoliberal society works.

Without talking about the film itself, (which obviously shows more signs of capitalism) , we can already see how capitalism is indirectly shown in the cinema industry, even through a character's characteristics; way of living, actions, language and more. Let us look at the audience's perception of this film, some might have been disappointed by the ending when the character did not get the consequence he deserved yet others might have been influenced by his character and felt "inspired" as Morris described it. Further on he elaborated that this shows that these diverse approaches towards the character show "that the film is reflecting YOUR attitudes towards the capitalism that Belfored represents"

The film in general shows how media capitalism works. The businessmen are seen to make speeches to give "advice" for self growth to the public but in reality they all lead to selfish benefits for their own good. In my opinion I see this film being very interesting by the way it shows Capitalism through its form and then how the medium can affect the audience despite it being a "not based on a true story" film.

Some elements of Media Capitalism might be more effective to certain audiences compared to the rest. Certain audiences like myself, whenever they watch a movie that they are interested it they start to get detached from reality and are always on the edge of their seats, attentive to what might happen next. In my opinion this state of being very attentive can cause capitalism messages to be even more effective and once the film is switched off these messages can remain in our subconscious without us realizing.

This being said it is great to be aware of the things that can influence you and learning to attach and detach in moments when need be, because who knows what might influence you and how?

Reference list

Ali, C. (2022). Book Review: Media Capitalism: Hegemony in the Age of Mass Deception by Thomas Klikauer (Palgrave Macmillan 2021, 507 pages). tripleC: Communication, Capitalism & Critique. Open Access Journal for a Global Sustainable Information Society, 20(2), pp.143–146. doi:https://doi.org/10.31269/triplec.v20i2.1344.

Bettache, K. (2023). How Capitalism Shapes the Mind | Psychology Today. [online] www.psychologytoday.com. Available at: https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/a-cultural-psychology-of-discrimination/202310/how-capitalism-shapes-the-mind.

Coldicutt, K. (1935). Cinema and Capitalism. [online] Screening the past. Available at: http://www.screeningthepast.com/issue-2-classics-re-runs/cinema-and-capitalism/.

Hayes, A. (2023). Public Relations (PR). [online] Investopedia. Available at: https://www.investopedia.com/terms/p/public-relations-pr.asp.

Klikauer, T. (2021). Media Capitalism. Cham: Springer International Publishing. doi:https://doi.org/10.1007/978-3-030-87958-7.

Morris, B. (2023). The Wolf of Wall Street | The Archetype of Late Capitalism. [online] YouTube. Available at: https://youtu.be/9yIP65iub_o?si=sEWUTgpwENFrfWj1.

[coffee---bean]

big summarising of my thoughts and development, the past week... (pt. 2)

the other thing i looked up was the wikipedia page for prayer, which led me to this article:

Sacred Movement: Dance as Prayer in the Pueblo Cultures of the American Southwest by Sarracina Littlebird

https://web.archive.org/web/20120126212840/http://dance.barnard.edu/sites/default/files/inline/sarracina_littlebird.pdf

"dance is the chosen mechanism of religious expression because of its potent expressive capabilities" (this is in many tribes of Native people sharing a common ancestor living in the southwestern US).

"ritual drama, in dealing with life itself, is a process which serves to unite humans with other humans, as well as humans with other-than-humans, the revealed with the unrevealed worlds, the visible with the invisible" (a quote from Charlotte J. Frisbie).

this made me think of Charli XCX, whose most recent album brat is a dance record which fleshes out and humanizes the club without taking away any of the fun and dancing and amazing music.

this song, 365, is the closer. the message is simple - even after all the uncertainty and pain and chaotic energy of the album, charli XCX is still in the club, and now it feels a lot more intense and certain. the music is more aggressive and wild, it feels a lot more free and weird than it's poppier counterpart, the intro track 360.

the lyrics are in a kind of litany form, ending every single line with "bumpin' that" - basically a reference to dancing, enjoying music, or doing cocaine, or whatever else. the repetition feels religious, like the lifestyle of a monk, a kind of devotion to a lifestyle.

that's interesting, but there's also this song:

this song is similar to prayer by brockhampton - very buzzy, simple synth chords - the feeling of someone having a weird existential crisis or awakening. a short little interlude, a moment where something happens.

when i think about the amount of time someone spends with a work of art, especially in a gallery, it usually isn't that long. what if my work could feel like that little moment of calm, of breathing. what if it was bright enough to draw you in and make you stop, but it didn't try and challenge you, except to ask you to come closer?

this song is about considering having a baby, and there's this lyric:

So, we had a conversation on the way home Should I stop my birth control? 'Cause my career feels so small In the existential scheme of it all

in a weird way, that feels like not wrestling with God, to me. just letting something happen. i'm not trying to say that i don't fuck with birth control, but that's the feeling i get when i think about this song in relation to my work. i think about the idea of a star like charli xcx writing the lyric: "we had a conversation on the way home", something so mundane. like you're getting out of your own way.

i watched a video by caleb gamman about brat, and in his video he talked about this song and charli's stated uncertainty about motherhood. he said this:

"i think 'baby fever' is the funniest thing in the world... like, it's not a crazy thing to mention, but it's probably the most undignified and desperate that you can come across, like 'haha, i want a baby. fundamentally change the course of my life forever!'"

that idea of being undignified and desperate really appeals to me, because that's how i felt when i prayed, and how i feel when i post on instagram that i am feeling suicidal.

i thought about that moment of isolation and fear, and i thought of the scene in raging bull by martin scorsese, where jake lamotta is stuck in a prison cell.

some of the comments underneath the video

@frankwilliamson4576 -- "prison and jail will break even the strongest man. I spent a year in a state pen for possession of cocaine when I was 22... it shows just how easy it is to fuck everything up..."

@amanred9337 -- "the reality that there is no one left to blame but yourself

someone quoting Martin Sheen -- "it shows that if you're not able to forgive, then that's where you end up - inside a small cell."

i began to switch the idea of wrestling to the idea of performing music, inside the cage, and everyone watching.

the next day, in class, i drew this:

me, inside this facility-looking fence thing, inside a kind of box thing, performing for the audience. i was thinking about the idea of being trapped in trauma, of art being a re-enactment of trauma, and if i did perform a prayer in front of an audience, i would be continuing that narrative.

so i decided to include a hole in the fence, made with bolt cutters, in a reference to fiona apple's album fetch the bolt cutters, which is about trying to leave a bad situation or feeling (and also an album which ends with her in prison!).

as the artist and performer, i do still need to be back in that place to draw things out of it, but if there's a hole in the fence, then this guarded facility with an opening becomes an option, not a prison. a place i can enter and leave when i need it, and something that is distinct, but not seperate. the boundaries between my trauma and my non-trauma are loose.

another thought i had was that the idea of praying for myself, for my own 'sins', for my own worries and fears to be calmed, feels really selfish. and i think a lot of my past work has been kind of self-expressiony in a i'm suffering way. and that's ok, but i want to start making things to help other people. i want this to help people.

i kept drawing it...

finally, i think i've landed on the idea. the platform, raised and clearly theatrical, like lars von trier's dogville, with blue lighting like club silencio from david lynch's mulholland dr., and a dead stick in dirt in the centre, like a marcel duchamp readymade. a microphone and CD player coming out of the dirt. the CD player loaded with a karaoke tracklist, and you can sing, if you want. the cage is open for the audience to come in.

i think when i present the work, i'll do a little performance, cutting open the fence, folding it back, and then singing something for them.

that's where i'm at....

[themovieblogonline]

Trailer Drops for "Bad Boys: Ride or Die"

Yo movie lovers, get ready to dust off your best Miami Vice outfits, the iconic Bad Boys are back for another round of high-octane action and hilarious banter! That's right, the trailer for "Bad Boys: Ride or Die" just dropped, and it looks like Mike Lowrey (Will Smith) and Marcus Burnett (Martin Lawrence) are about to blow things up (literally and figuratively) in a whole new way. Remember how the last movie had us glued to our seats with its insane stunts and laugh-out-loud moments? Well, "Ride or Die" promises to deliver that same explosive energy, but with a twist: this time, Miami's finest are on the run! Yep, you read that right. Lowrey and Burnett are dodging bullets and causing mayhem, but from whom exactly? The trailer keeps that under wraps, but you know it's gonna be epic. Will Smith looks like he's back in top form, delivering his signature cocky charm as Mike Lowrey. And Martin Lawrence? The man hasn't lost a beat when it comes to his hilarious reactions and witty one-liners. These two together are pure comedic gold, and it's gonna be amazing to see them trade insults and take down bad guys in style. Speaking of bad guys, the trailer hints at a whole new crew of villains for our heroes to face. We see some serious firepower, explosions galore, and enough car chases to make your head spin. But with Mike and Marcus on the case (even if they are technically fugitives), you just know justice will be served, Miami style. One thing the trailer doesn't reveal is whether we'll see Mike Lowrey's son in this film. Remember in the last movie how we got a glimpse of him all grown up? It would be cool to see him interact with his dad, especially if Mike's in hot water. Maybe there's a chance for a family team-up? Only time will tell! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2FYlvGAf-iM So, mark your calendars, movie fans! "Bad Boys: Ride or Die" hits theaters on June 7th, 2024, and it looks like it's gonna be a wild ride. Get ready for non-stop action, laugh-out-loud moments, and the return of the iconic duo that defined 90s action cinema. Will Smith and Martin Lawrence are back together, and they're ready to prove that some things, like bad boys and good times, never go out of style. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZOd-uGLIaJo Read the full article

[dear-ao3]

🇺🇸🇺🇸its friday then its saturday sunday WHAT🇺🇸🇺🇸 🇺🇸🇺🇸ITS FRIDAY THEN ITS SATURDAY SUNDAY WHAT🇺🇸🇺🇸

what the fuck is a kilometer everyone! in case you couldn't tell, this week were in miami, florida, usa. shit hit the fan big time (probably cause its Florida), penalties were dished out, questionable guests were invited, history was certainly made, celebrations were beyond had and silly season was positively sillying. today is may 10th and lets stage dive right in. and trust me, youre gonna wanna read this one :)

please note: i think this is the longest one weve had so far. i hit the photo and video limit. i was terrified i was going to hit the line limit as well.

so. the miami race. its another sprint weekend. back to back sprints. who thought that was a good idea. idk. wasnt me.

this is only the third time there has been a race in miami. and miami has already made its mark. both of the previous times f1 has gone there there were batshit bonkers things happening. especially in 2022:

-lando and daniel did a whole bit with james corden, the very origin of this look:

-sebastian vettel protested the fia mandating (trying to mandate? im not sure) inspecting drivers underwear to make sure that it was fireproof by wearing underwear on top of his race suit. his logic was essentially, well were all adults here and we can make desisions for ourselves, the fia has other shit to worry about (look it up if you want the whole story)

-sir lewis hamilton protested the fia jewelry ban by showing up to the press conference wearing what seems to be every piece of jewelry he had on hand. at the time, he was getting fined for wearing a nose stud in the car while other people were wearing wedding rings (apparently) (there is more to this story, look it up if you want, for now tho were just using it to set the miami scene as a race that has never known peace)

and also, fernando alonso served massive amounts of cunt in miami back in 2004:

on account of the fact that it is florida, this is also where the weird sort of washed up celebrities usually appear (you know the ones who are not cool enough to make it to monaco but still somehow end up at a gp?) and there were definitely several of those. ill talk about them later. so anyway, like most races, miami is usually a trip.

now that the scene is set, lets get some lights on. prior to the race, we had a....wide variety of stuff happen.

and lets just start with lando. hes back being a pr menace again.

so lando is friends with this dj named martin garrix. he did that song animals that had clubs in a chokehold back in like 2014. anyway. he is dutch. this will play a role momentarily. lando has toured around with martin before, notably over winter break on his frat boy pose world tour that i mentioned a good many several updates ago.

so earlier this week was kings day in amsterdam. aka the kings birthday. and a good excuse to wear orange and party. lando likes to party and mclarens team color is orange (dont come for me i know its Technically papaya), and hes friends with a dutch dj. so kings day found him on a boat in amsterdam having a regular old Time. (slight flash warning)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Lando Norris ➍ (@4.norris)

anyway, brief tangent to say that one of the people he was on the boat with was none other than eva gutowski? the mylifeaseva youtuber? from like 2012? with the literally my life is beaches every single night, messy buns and christmas lights song? yeah not on my bingo board to see her, martin garrix and lando norris all partying on a boat in an amsterdam canal together, but cest la vie i suppose!

all was going well for lando until this photo started circulating:

turns out he did not break his nose, he somehow just managed to cut it on some smashed glass. presumably by smashing a glass into his face, as he later mimed to max during the drivers parade. thankfully that meant that he was going to be able to drive in miami!

his official statement to the press during media day was its "a little bit silly. looked a lot worse, everyone thought it was horrendous and it was just a little cut. I wish i had a cooler story, but sadly its not"

martin garrix later said that it was from a cup that had a chip on the rim and he took a sip from it and the rum cut his nose, but because of the placement it started bleeding a lot and they put bandaids on it and then someone mummied him with the gauze, someone else took a citure of it which went viral and everyone (including mclaren) saw it and thought that martin had broken his nose.

in a mclaren video that he did later on with oscar, he jokes that he had gotten a nose job.

aside from that, lando also went to the miami heat game. so did some other drivers (like pierre), but his teammate oscar also went.

you might be wondering oh thats nice, did they go together?

well. look at the comparison of where they were sitting:

lando has court side tickets and is dressed like a frat boy (complete with a nose bandage) and oscar is seemingly on the other side of the court about 10-15 rows up. i sincerely doubt the other knew they were going.

moving on from mclaren. we have mercedes.

for some reason, and i really could not tell you why, merc decided to create an emoji car on WhatsApp and premier it on the empire state building. yes, on it.

toto and lewis flipped the switch themselves, and it looked vaguely like a wedding photo or baby announcement or something equally insane.

lewis also got to drive on 5th avenue:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Empire State Building (@empirestatebldg)

aparently he was told by the mayor of new york to Not do doughnuts but well, hes lewis hamilton, and he did them anyway and said hey guys its not my fault that i had to do doughnuts its the Car's fault cause i cant really u turn in it

and side note, in case you are wondering, the marks from his doughnuts are still there (at least as of may 4 cause i marched my ass down 5th avenue when i was in the city this weekend and gazed upon them. would recommend)

reguardless of just how much lewis slayed though, the emoji car did look decently silly:

the mercedes social media admin, who are notoriously bonkers, also shitted on how shit the actual merc f1 car is by making their twitter bio to "home of the whatsapp emoji car"

george was notably nowhere to be found at the emoji car reveal in the city (i know hes in the photo, that was from the race weekend itself) worry not everyone, we will get to him later.

meanwhile, alpine.

in case you need a refresher, alpine are not doing too hot at all. theyre doing pretty bad actually. but, people own stake in the team. and one of those people happens to be travis kelce, football player for the kansas city chiefs and taylor swifts boyfriend.

idk why he owns stake in alpine, but he does. and leading up to the race, reportedly, he and taylor were going to be in the paddock at the alpine garage. this was all very much according to rumors, but it was rumored to be plausible because this would be the last weekend taylor has off before the next leg of the international eras tour starts.

why do we care if taylor is in the paddock?

well.

a decent chunk of fernando alonso's internet presence is entirely based around the insane omg hes dating taylor swift rumors. (he wasnt, but as we saw in the last update, the social media team can really get him to play into it) and wouldn't it just be hilarious if they were in the same place, but thwarted by estie bestie and pierre gasley??

taylor though did not end up in the paddock. but travis kelce did. but there will be a weird celebrities section later.

checo was asked aparently what taylor swift album was his favorite. he said that he was in his tortured poets department era because it was hot. i dont have a source for this one, y'all are just going to have to trust me that it actually happened.

yuki also shoved a bunch of footballs under his shirt on media day: (unfortunately i seem o have lost the link to this video)

and this weekend was logan's home race. technically, cause hes american, he has three home races, but since this one is in miami and hes grew up a hop skip and a jump away in fort lauderdale, this is the one that really counts for him. and they made him do some interesting pr including wearing a duracell sorts bra over a shirt to play soccer with a bunch of professional soccer players (idk who they are ok, sue me ig)

he also quizzed alex albon on america slang. but it wasnt really american slang, it was more like tiktok slang. reguardless, we got to hear logan stay stuff like pookie and no cap.

also. tom brady was in the Williams garage. he looked like he would murder for logan sargeant. (to be fair so dod jenson button)

and. on a more somber note. this weekend was also the 30th anniversary of ayrton senna's death. senna was a Brazilian driver in the 80s and 90s and won the championship in 88, 90 and 91. he died during a crash in the 1994 imola gp while racing for williams. (he was also not the only driver to die that weekend, with roland ratzenberger dying the previous say during the qualifying session). (again though this happened 30 years ago and i dont have time to talk about it on this post, if you want to know the full details of that entire very tragic weekend you can read about it here)

senna is famously known for the line "if you no longer go for a gap that exists you are no longer a racing driver." this will become relevant later.

sebastian vettel made an instagram announcement saying that he was going to be driving one of sennas cars at the imola gp this year in honor of ayrton sennas memory. why is he the one doing it? because im pretty sure he owns the car

aside from that. before we get into the really good juicy shit. we also had some new pet pics.

zhou posted some new pictures of his cat sweetcorn and charles's dog leo continues to serve lost in the sauce realness:

and we learned that valtteri has a reindeer named rosa

leo was also featured in charles's instagram post from miami and yes Technically this was from After the race but its my post and i can do what i want so heres leo:

he posted these photos, plus a few more on his instagram with the caption:

"he is very fast, he is very cool, he is very scary and very brave, he is everything. Leo 👑🤍"

which is just. heart melting. also his dog has a paddock pass?????

lance stroll has a new sponsor, its krown produce.

charles leclerc once again pulled up to the track in a fancy little sports car that was decked out in maimi ferrari blue and failed to park it

george russell nearly killed ed sheeran on a hot lap

and that of course takes us to the washed up celebrities. there were many famous people there but im just going to touch on the unholy trinity of (and yes i am being serious here) jake paul, james charles and the previous president of the united states of America.

now. while it is baffling that jake was in the ferrari garage (and seemingly a charles leclerc fan and also who on earth told him that beard looked good?) and understandably hilarious that max and checo clearly are scared of james charles, the trump thing is decently upsetting.

here, once again, is where i will interject my opinion.

should they have done this? fuck no. aside from what trump stands for (in case you are somehow unfamiliar, hes being tried for several crimes and also wants to destroy democracy and is trying to run for president again this year, to put it very very mildly he is controversial especially to americans and this was an american race) f1 is supposed to be a non political sport (a rule put in place by the fia following lewis hamilton and sebastian vettel speaking out for black lives matter and gay rights respectfully)

and mclaren did make a statement about this which said:

"mclaren is a non political organization however we recognize and respect the office of the president of the united states. so when the request was made to visit our garage on race day we accepted alongside the president of the fia and the ceos of liberty media and formula 1. we were honored that mcalren racing was chosen as the representative of f1 which gave us the opportunity to showcase the world class engineering that we bring to motorsport"

which makes it sound at least to me like this was not their idea to invite him and if the fia president is saying hey this guys coming to your garage you cant really exactly say no to him (should they have fought it? yes. mclaren might be a british team but zak brown is american and he also follows trump on instagram so at the very least he Definitely knew what message this would send if no one else did)

lando was asked about his presence and im not going to quote his response here cause simply i dont want to take up more space writing about trump than i need to. but i will say that he looked uncomfortable during the question (which also shouldnt have been allowed to be asked in the first place) and at the end he kind of looks at Charles and shrugs like "idk man" and yes his response is not worded very well and im not saying that he supports trump, im also not saying he doesnt. i dont know the guy. but i would like to take this moment to remind everyone of a few years ago when lando did defend lewis on social media and called out people who were being racist towards him and remind everyone that he was one of very few drivers to kneel at a race in support of black lives matter. not everyone participated and also not everyone of those participants kneeled. so do with this information what you will. if you want to see his response it can be found here

but obviously, we are all here for the racing. so lets get into it.

miami saw two special liveries.

rb dropped their livery with zero lead up and pretty much as a total surprise. it fucking slayed:

on instagram someone asked why they didnt hype it. the vcarb admin responded with "no need to hype when you can COOK! 🧑‍🍳"

this was definitely a dig at ferrari who also did a special miami livery that they hyped up to no end. like seriously, it was stupidly drawn out. china had barely ended and they were like hey. psst. hey guys. to distract you all from the fact that this was the first time all season we haven't been on the podium we've got a little secret. were bringing back the blue for the miami race!

and everyone was like huh?! theyre going blue!!! how cool!!!

and it did seem like it would be cool. they revealed the suits first:

and then they talked relentlessly about the two colors they were using and how important they are to historical ferrari and blah blah blah

and then carlos and charles did special edition blue helmets and we were all like ok ok its serious omg its real ok this is going to be like dinoco lightning McQueen!

and then. they revealed this: (please imagine that one dan howell womp boat noise esque sound effect here)

which is just. a disappointment. really. the blue looks kind of gray. we could have had it all but we lost it.

and will buxton, who i have talked about before hes one of the sky sports presenters, had this to say about the whole blue car ordeal, which is just so real of him:

"ferrari have been teasing this livery for ages oOooOooo its gonna be blue!!! going back to north america! in 1964 ferrari ran a... well not to get too complicated but they ran a blue and white livery in north america, mainly because they were upset with the italian federation and the fia who failed to validate one of their sports cars... ANYWAY so they ran a blue and white car, ferrari have decided to may homage to the history by....not doing that kind of a livery at all. just...chucking on some light blue and some other blue. bit of a mish mash hodge podge weirdness that doesnt really work. BUT the overalls look Amazing. the shirts look Amazing. im not a fan of the car livery, i just think its a Mess. its a Mess, like you could have done something Classic and Beautiful kinda like that *gestures to his shoes* blue and white!"

will buxton, everyone!! and before you ask, yes that is exactly how he speaks. you can watch that clip here if you dont believe me.

and you might be noticing one or two or eight or actually 15 hp logos on that car. (personally i think they did blue for the hp not for north america but thats just me) and that is because hp is now a title sponsor of ferrari. they are now scuderia ferrari hp. and yes, the hp logo on the suits makes it look like they are telletubbies and yes everyone in italy is like hello Why did we do this and for those answers we will have to get straight into silly season

now. silly season has officially started. i know everyone was like oh it wont Really Start until merc decide whos got the second seat. well throw that straight out the window like a snake in a bag cause theres a new contender in town:

adrian newey.

we've talked about him before. hes the chief technical officer of red bull racing. hes a very good car designer and aerodynamicist.

how good is he? you might be asking. allow me to enlighten you:

newey joined williams in 1991. in 1992 they won the constructors championship. they won again in 1993 and 1994. and 1996 and 1997.

newey joined mclaren in 1997. in 1998 they won the constructors championship and in 1999 they won the drivers.

newey joined red bull in 2006. red bull won the constructors championship in 2010. and again in 2011, 2012 and 2013. then again in 2021 (drivers only, not constructors), 2022 and 2023.

he has helped to build 14 championship winning cars. soon to be 15 if max wins this season again.

well! mr newey has decided that he has had enough of the weird red bull politics (reportedly he didnt like how the assault thing got swept under the rug and largely ignored and tbh good for him) and he has announced that he is leaving red bull at the end of the year.

despite the fact that it really seems like newey is leaving Because of christian (at least somewhat indirectly), christian had this to say about him:

"for me, when adrian joined red bull, he was already a superstar designer. two decades and 13 championships later he leaves as a true legend. he is also my friend and someone i will be eternally grateful to for everything he brought to our partnership. all of our greatest moments from the past 20 years have come with adrian's hand on the technical tiller. the legacy he leaves behind will echo through the halls of milton keynes and the rb17 track car will be a fitting testament and legacy to his time with us."

horner did claim that this was "coming for some time" and was not a result of tensions at red bull

now thats all fine and dandy and slightly ironic but where is newey going?

the short answer is, we dont know!

the long answer is that there have been rumors that he has talked to basically every team on the grid. there is also speculation that he will retire. but the rumors about this are kinda funny and literally every day someone is claiming something different.

at the start, we knew it was likely going to be aston martin or ferrari signing him. but now seemingly everyone has talked to him.

important to note that theres a whole lot of clauses and technicalities on him signing with another team because of how the cars are built and when they are built. originally it was proposed that he would not be able to work on a car until 2027, but it seems that red bull agreed to an exit that allows him to join a rival team as soon as he departs red bull in early 2025.

so who wants him?

-reportedly lawrence stroll wanted him to sign with aston martin. i haven't heard anything about this in awhile but aparently they asked fernando Alonso about this this weekend. newey had said before that he would like to work with fernando. i cant find the link but i think that newey previously said that he doesnt like lawrence stroll

-toto wolff is desperately trying to get his grubby little hands on adrian and at this point its so funny. aparently adrian doesnt want to work with toto cause he also doesnt like him and he also doesnt want to work with the team in a post lewis state (rip) and he thinks it might take merc too long to get back on top and after a long time at red bull, he doesnt want to be with a team that long again. this has not stopped toto from trying to sign him tho. its still rumored that newey might be talking to merc after the miami race.

-williams aparently has also talked to mr newey. its no secret that williams absolutely suck right now. so they need all the help they can get. which is essentially what james vowels said about talking to newey: "I think we as Williams have a huge amount of work to do. Adrian or not, our task is enormous -- and Adrian wouldn't make it easier, but that's the whole point." he said that discussions with adrian have been "light" but there still have been discussions

-zak brown of mclaren has also talked about how he is "not surprised" that newey decided to leave red bull at all and thinks it is in fact because of christian (aparently lots of people have left red bull to go to other teams) and he has seen an "increase in cvs" coming from red bull employees at mclaren. (its also implied that zak thinks this might cause red bull to eventually leave the grid, remember that they are just an energy drink company after all) it doesnt Seem like mclaren have been talking about signing newey, but whos to really say at this point (toto wolff also agrees with zak on increase in cvs and was quoted as saying "zak is absolutely correct, we are seeing red bull cv's though all the levels" and then horner clapped back with a statement that toto should be more worried since red bull poached "over 200 staff from the mercedes engine department"

-there was also weird hinting about newey from stake??? of all teams??? in the form of this instagram video that they posted which unfortunately i cant insert in here cause i have more important videos that take precedence but from what i van understand its a video of several stake employees doing tests very very distractedly to an audio from the kardashians dishing tea and dirt, with the caption "Us when there’s Adrian Newey rumours in the paddock 👀" (red bull commented on this video with " Everyone is an Adrian Newey fan 💁"

-also pierre gasley posted an instagram photo in his miami dump with newey. which is interesting timing.

-there is also the chance that he could retire. newey said, in response to lewis and charles complimenting him "im very flattered by their words, at the moment I just want to take a break. we'll see..." and a reporter (dont know how reliable this reporter is) named jeremy clarkson from the sun said "late last year, newey started working on a new sailing boat. and as hes now 65 years old, who knows? he might just decide to be better off and spend the autumn of his years sailing around the world in that"

-and the last people we know who are really Interested are ferrari. and this is an interesting one. from an outside perspective, it seems like ferrari have the best chance. they have reportedly offered newey a contract of 100 million euros for four years and there have been rumors that fred vasseur has met with him in london. and even other rumors that he is actually going to ferrari. newey has also said that he wishes he had worked with lewis hamilton during his career, and that happens to be where lewis is going next year.

but when looking at ferrari, we need to consider something else. the hp sponsor.

now. this is all speculation. it is also mostly all my own personal speculation, but i needed to include it so forgive me.

people have been speculating and wondering why ferrari would accept a title sponsor. they have had them before with Marlboro, and mission winnow. and now we have hp. but there were a few years in the middle of mission winnow and hp where there was no title sponsor. now they have one and they are scuderia ferrari hp.

this is interesting. especially when you consider that hp is rumored to be covering "about 66% of the teams budget cap."

this is estimated to be about the same amount of money as red bulls oracle title sponsorship, which is 90 million a year, roughly.

now. come with me down the rabbit hole for a moment. i invite you in.

lets first look at the facts. ferrari announced lewis would be driving for them in 2025 on feb 1, 2024. but we know the contract was signed sometime in january and the talks must have predated that. reportedly, theyre paying lewis a whole fucking lot.

but! i dont think they would have promised to pay him money that they didnt have. hence, i dont think that the hp sponsorship was signed to afford lewis. also, again this was back in january and its now may.

the horner situation blew up inearly february, right after it was announced that lewis had signed with ferrari. and yes there had been some speculation that newey was leaving the team before then, but then it became more official, with newey only making it known it was a real possibility within the last month.

i propose that ferrari had only planned to sign lewis initially and they had the money for it, hence why they did it. but as soon as it became clear that newey was also on the table (which again, wasnt until recently) that must have sparked the search for a title sponsor. (again, i know these things take time, but i really dont think this was a thing pre lewis contract)

so. im thinking that ferrari partnered with hp to help them afford newey.

and! if you doubt me!!! look at what lewis had to say at the press conference this weekend!!!

"id love to work with him in the future, he'd absolutely be at the top of [the list]"

like LOOK at that SMIRK. he knows things. we've seen this smirk before. when he was signing with ferrari. im telling you all. 8th world drivers championship for lewis. its coming. its happening. i feel it in my toes.

anyway, back to what's really going on and not just my unadulterated opinion.

silly season.

our next driver contract was signed. and it was nico hulkenberg for audi. now audi will not be an official team until 2026 (they are replacing stake) so. this means three things:

there is now an open seat at haas for someone new to enter the team (likely for ollie bearman, who is already a reserve driver, will have 6 practice sessions with haas and replaced carlos in saudi) (kevin magnussen was asked what he thought about this and he said "i’m not really here to take care of young kids, you know? I do that at home...so, hopefully, the guy we have in the car will be competent, professional, and consistent like Nico has been, and we’ll see if I’ll be in the other car."

since nico is singing at sauber for 2025 and its understood that he technically singed with Audi so, this means he has at minimum a 2 year contract

either valtteri or zhou will lose their sauber seat to nico hulkenberg

as people online pointed out this has massive parallels to 2013 when lewis hamilton joined a new team, nico hulkenberg joined sauber, there was a massive regulation change for the nest year and it was the fourth season of red bull dominance. of course, 2013 was also the last year of the red bull dominance before it got passed off to merc. so does that mean .... red bull will lose their dominance in the rrew 2026 regulation changes without newey??? will history once again repeat????

valtteri said that he is "speaking to multiple teams. some talks have advanced more than the others"

also talking to audi, we know, was carlos sainz. reportedly audi offered him a fuckton of money. and also reportedly, carlos has rejected the offer. he seems to be holding out for merc or red bull. but there have been several statements from people at audi that carlos is still their prime target. dont know how accurate that actually is.

yuki tsunoda is reportedly on audis short list of drivers. we will see if he gets offered something now that carlos has reportedly rejected audis offer.

carlos is still unemployed.

and what of max verstappen?

well. he seems generally unbothered. despite the fact that toto is still actively trying to recruit him.

he is supposed to have a conversation with mercedes on monday (may 6) about moving to merc. they reportedly want to offer max a ridiculously high salary. (for context, i think max is making around 55 million USD per year now and is (likely) the highest paid driver) (this does not include money from sponsorships either)

what the number is is disputed. some reports say 160 million USD. some day 270 million USD. whatever the real number is, it is high. theres also rumors that they would bring in helmet marko for him.

heres what max had to say earlier this week:

"250 million euros? no. im happy with what im earningg already. if youre driving for p5 or p6, you get quite grumpy. its always about performances at the end of the day, everyone knows that and toto knows that."

essentially. he doesnt care if hes making a shit ton of money and loosing when he could be making a bit less of a shitton of money and winning. worth pointing out, we really dont know anything because toto said this earlier this week as well:

"people make up meetings, make up what's happening with the drivers but those things should be behind closed doors and everything thats been out there was not really the right thing."

christian horner, of course, had a response to all of this. because he cannot resist a good cat fight with toto wolff:

"why on earth would you want to leave [red bull]? mercedes are the third team, behind their customers at the moment. i dont think toto's problems are his drivers. his time would be better spent perhaps focusing on [mercedes] rather than the driver market"

and hes right about some of it. but also there are plenty of good reasons to leave red bull given what happened earlier this year and the power dynamic theyre stuck in, as we have seen many people doing (reportedly via zak brown) including adrian newey.

and, you might be wondering, didnt merc want to sign kimi antonelli at one point? and you are right. and funny you should mention him.

he did a test drive of the 2022 (? might have been 2021 ive seen conflicting reports) merc car i think it was just before chinese gp. and his one lap time record was a 1:21.00. people have compared this to george russells personal fastest lap in the 2022 car which was in imola and was a 1:20.962. now theres a lot that goes into a lap and these were on two different tracks and track conditions were different and all that. not to mention that in imola when george did that lap it was sorta wet ish and the fuel loads were different and a million other things. it is still though impressive.

(but lets remember when daniel tested the red bull last year before he replaced de vries he was a tenth off max verstappen and now hes struggling for points so)

now. there are also rampant rumors that kimi is going to replace logan sargeant for the imola gp. which is the race after miami. the rumors speculate that merc is going to loan kimi to Williams (remember they all have the same engines so this isn't unheard of) for 2024 and 2025 and then have kimi join merc in 2026.

this is unlikely, but then the fia reportedly received a request to allow kimi his super license, which they would need to get special permission for because he is under 18 until august 25. reportedly, both toto and james vowels denied that they made this request. which is interesting. well, it was explicitly denied by toto, james just said that kimi would not be racing for williams at imola.

james vowels, williams team principal, was asked about this possibility on media days and he said that logan would not be replaced:

"lets put it this way. I haven't spoken to kimi since abu dhabi last year. hopefully that puts it in context, i knoe nothing about what's going on. with mercedes tests right now. we are looking, as everyone else is, for where we wanna be on driver line up for next year. sane we have our own young driver program. in the case of kimi, i cant really adjudicate the level hes at. in case of him coming into the car this year, ive always said from the beginning its a meritocracy, logan has to earn his seat and at the moment he has sone tough targets where he was to get much closer to alex but there was nothing on the radar at the moment for replacing him."

now, its already regarded that williams wrecked logans career by taking him out of f2 before he was ready (he was supposed to have another year in f2) so it would be bad for them to wreck two peoples careers in a row.

nico rosberg had something to say on the matter of kimi last week:

"antonelli is definitely a superstar of the future, but unfortunately timing wise its really too early for him, and especially too early for toto to be able to make a decision. i mean, he needs to wait until somewhat later in the year as we see how antonelli does in f2 also, because he does need a really strong season in f2 to even make it a possibility for him to go straight to mercedes"

cause remember, merc doesnt usually sign rookies. actually they never have. they've only ever had michael schumacher, nico rosberg, sir lewis hamilton, valtteri bottas and george russell drive for them. nico, valtteri and george were previously at williams, lewis came in already a world champion from mclaren with one of the strongest rookie seasons in f1 history and michael schumacher was, well, michael fucking schumacher. no rookies to be seen.

aside from all that. theres some rumors that gunther steiner wants to take over the vcarb team with investors. and that hes suing haas for essentially not paying him.

now. ive already said a million times on this post that lando and oscar are perpetually unbothered by silly season in the funniest way possible. but now we have two new contenders for that spot: our friends the mercedes drivers.

that is right! sir lewis hamilton couldnt give less of a fucking shit this year. maybe its cause he finally knows that hes going to be free of the absolutely ass mercedes car after this year and have a decent and real shot at winning again next year at ferrari, esp if they're going to sign adrian newey.

well. at the beginning of the season he was giving no shits and signing ferrari caps left right and center. then, aparently mercedes pr yelled at him for this, and hes now only allowed to sign mercedes hats only. video link to this is here. this has not stopped lewis. he now wears a bracelet that says "forza ferrari"

he was also tits out pretty much all weekend, which is not unusual, but its good to see him slay:

and then we have george russell.

george, as we know, will be staying at mercedes for 2025. and as we also know, the mercedes second seat is a hot item in the paddock. Everyone has been speculated to be going to mercedes. from max to carlos to kimi to even esteban ocon. toto is reportedly trying to spend over a hundred million dollars on getting a second driver and trying to sign adrian newey. the current car is a shit box.

and what, pray tell, is george up to in all of this???

hes chilling, tits out, on a beach:

not an absolute care in the world.

but. with all this in mind. with all of that in mind. lets dive into practice 1.

i didnt actually watch practice 1, but my sister did and she sent me some notes.

the most interesting thing to happen at practice 1 was that charles went for a little spin on the track because his clutch decided to give up because his car overheated, resulting in a red flag. he did not restart the practice session and only did 3 laps in total. not great when you remember the next thing is a sprint qualifying session. also, he asked his engineer what he should do. and his engineer kinda ghosted him.

there were also a slew of upgrades on various cars.

pierre now has all the upgrades that esteban has (which is mostly a lighter chassis), mercedes had an upgrade as well, but everyone was really looking at mclaren.

mercedes also had upgrades. as we would see throughout the weekend, they basically did nothing.

mclaren pretty much revamped their whole car. lando had the full update and oscar had about half and would get the other half for imola (the next race). the update included changes to the:

front wing

front suspension

front corner

floor body

sidepod inlet

coke/engine cover

cooling louvres

rear suspension

rear corner

beam wing

all in all to say, it was a lot of upgrades. according to zak brown, oscar, who had half the upgrades, was running .2 seconds a lap slower than lando was on set up alone. despite this, oscar still took p2 in practice. only .105 seconds behind max verstappen. unfortunately, lando was tweaking the set up during practice and was not able to do a flying lap, so heading into the sprint qualifying we didnt know how fast the full upgrade package actually was. but given oscars pace, we could only assume that it was fast.

moving onto the sprint qualifying

first of all. it was hot. fucking hot as hell. this meant several things, the most important one being that the cars were going to absolutely eat the tires. the first two quarters of qualifying were all done on medium tires, so it wasnt as much of a problem, but the last quarter was done on softs (as per the rules) which were only good for one lap.

valtteri bottas had a new race engineer starting this race and at one point he failed to tell valtteri while he was changing some settings that oscar piastri was coming up behind him at full speed and the two of them nearly collided. but they did not. there was no contact between the two cars. valtteri did though get a three place grid penalty for the sprint race. later on, zak brown referred to the incident as a "alpha make turf war." i am not making this up i promise.

logan sargeant, everyones favorite poor little meow meow, was down in 20th at the end of q1 (but did managed to go fastest in the third sector of the track) and was thus knocked out. his teammate, alex albon, was up in p16 (and also knocked out). but!!! alex got his lap time deleted for violating track limits (literally he just drove over the whole chicane, didnt even bother to turn) which knocked him down to p20 and logan up to p19. it also meant that for the first time EVER logan had out qualified his teammate

despite this, he still called himself a dumb fuck over the radio and slammed his hand on his car

someone (maybe it was martin bundle?) was telling everyone that when he did a hot lap with george around the track earlier, george was telling him that there was one section of the track at turn 16 where the sponsor boards around the edge of the track turn into a darker purple and george was saying that it was harder to judge there where the wall was because of the color change. and the commentators deliberated over whether or not this could be a legit thing.

but then one by one, pretty much everyone rammed into the wall. including sir lewis hamilton who, according to martin brundle "made more mistakes in that sector than he used to in a season." he got out in q2.

and then all eyes were on george russell, who might just be able to save merc, but, he was running a little slower than he needed to be and crofty said "george russell might make it a double miserable day for mercedes and he did” and he was out in q2 as well. the camera cut to toto sitting in the garage and he looked Less Than Pleased. and then merc also got investigated for their pit crew not wearing their helmets when lewis came through the pit lane.

so heading into q3 there were a butt ton of pissed off drivers that were out. how do we know they were pissed off? well when they got out of the car and walked down the pit lane, they all still had their helmets on, which i believe it was one nico rosberg said once meant that they were pissed and didnt want to deal with the cameras.

but the 10 people who were still in were all sitting in their garages. waiting.

waiting for what? for the session to be half over so they could all go out and get in everyone else's way. because remember, they are all on soft tires and the soft tires are only good for one lap. everyone came out of the garages with about 4 minutes left. so everyone had one shot to get a good lap.

lando norris had been p1 in both of the previous rounds while he was on the medium tires, but now that he was on the soft tires he couldn't find the pace. or, perhaps it was that his tires were not warm enough, because he did manage to go fastest in the last sector of everyone.

which meant, of course, that max verstappen pulled out a p1. he was very surprised that he managed it because he had a screw up at one point where he lost time. upon being told that he was in fact in pole position he said "lol, what happened to the others? that was terrible! ill take it" in his post interview he as asked how his lap felt and he said "to be honest with you it felt pretty terrible" would this be an omen for max? idk lets find out!

most surprising out of everything was daniel ricciardo managing to get p4. not only did he out qualify his teammate, but he hasn't been that high up on the grid since the texas gp in 2023. he was positively Thrilled with it to. he did his little "KI KI KI AY AY AY" over the radio and in his interview after said that "we belong towards the front, so happy for everyone"

max also stared at charles's ass afterwards

and for some reason, before the sprint race, lando cohosted a yoga session on a beach that was sponsored by hilton???

yeah man i have no idea either. he kept saying he didnt like the sand and brushed off his hands a million and seven times. (this was also funny cause it was star wars day (may 4th))

and the next day everyone geared up for the sprint race. and it was fucking bonkers. i know i say lots of things are bonkers. this one takes the cake. it was a race of penalties. with the first one going to esteban ocon before he even made it to the grid for running into charles leclerc in the pitlane and breaking his front wing.

everyone pulled up to the grid in their starting order:

p1: max p2: charles p3: checo p4: daniel p5: carlos p6: oscar p7: lance p8: fernando p9: lando p10: nico p11: george p12: lewis p13: esteban p14: kevin p15: yuki p16: pierre p17: zhou p18: logan p19: alex p20: valtteri

martin brundle was discussing tires. specifically he was discussing the importance of warning up the tires. saying that the tires need to go through a "heat cycle." which is just. such a choice of words. i know this is probably a real legit term. but sir, i grew up on tumblr.com. such sentences are jarring.

and then the lights went out. away they went. and immediately it all went to hell in a flaming hot hand basket.

the aston martins of fernando and lance decides to kiss, lewis went for a gap and knocked into them and that whole kerfuffle shoved lando off the track in turn one.

this brought out an immediate yellow flag and left the rest of the midfield picking up the pieces.

"whoa," fernando said over the radio, 'hamilton arrived like a bull!"

"i think you'll find it was your teammate that arrived like a bull first," crofty said up in the commentary box. "and then hamilton came and doubled the trouble."

meanwhile, in his own car, hamilton said "there was a gap on the inside so i took it," all but dedicating his move to the late and great ayrton senna

reguardless of whos fault it really was, the stewards didnt care because they chose not to investigate it further. zak brown thought that this was stupid because it was clearly a driver error.

lando gave no shits even though he had been knocked out of the race at no fault of his own and decided that he was going to walk across the track after he got out of the car. that walk later cost him 50,000 dollars worth of fines. thankfully. the damage on his car was minor. meaning he could still do qualifying for the race later in the afternoon.

in addition to lando, lance stroll was forced to retire his car as well. and fernando alonso had a tire puncture.

later on lando said "nothing i could have done. i think today we payed the price for being around others that are careless..... ill get it back tomorrow."

a safety car was called on lap three to clear the damage.

when the safety car ended on lap 4, the grid had been properly shuffled up:

p1: max p2: charles p3: daniel p4: checo p5: carlos p6: oscar p7: ncio p8: kevin p9: lewis p10: yuki p11: pierre p12: logan p13: zhou p14: george p15: valtteri p16: alex p17: esteban p18: fernando

and a reminder: in a sprint race, only down to 8th place gets points. this will become a key detail.

on lap 5 checo overtook daniel, putting daniel into 4th infront of carlos sainz.

now, one thing you need to know about danny rics is that hes a late brake king. meaning that he knows Exactly how to milk the most out of his car by pushing it to the last possible second before braking into the turns, giving himself just a slight edge and a few tenths of a second of space between him and whoever is behind him. notably, this is how he was able to win in monaco in 2018, with an MGU-K failure that made his engine have 25% less horsepower, and only two (out of eight) functioning gears while holding off sebastian vettel in a ferrari. hes a regular expert at late braking.

and his next victim was none other than carlos sainz. because, lets be honest here, hes in a shitbox car, defending against a ferrari while trying to catch a red bull.

and at the beginning, checo was holding daniel in his DRS zone (within 1 second of him to give daniel a speed boost so that he could stay in front of carlos so that carlos wouldn't pass daniel and then pass checo) while carlos was still only .3 seconds behind daniel with DRS. late brake king indeed.

but while that battle was shaping up, there was another battle.

on lap 8 we had the return of another king. the kevin magnussen menace king.

if you recall, in saudi arabia, kevin got 20 seconds worth of penalties and used that to drive like an absolute madman, royally holding up the whole back of the grid so that his teammate nico could score a point in the race.

and well. nico was in 7th, kevin was in 8th and sir lewis hamilton was in 9th. and yes, sir lewis might be driving an absolute shit box car, but he is still a 7 time world champion. hes got some moves. and he was itching to pull them on kmags.

lewis was a very solid half a second behind kevin. and according to our friends the commentators "mercedes dont look like they a great race car"

hamilton agreed with this saying "im very slow on the straight." he tried to pass kevin. and he failed.

two laps later, they were still battling it out, this time though, kevin skipped over the chicane.

"he just gained an advantage!" lewis said "he skipped the chicane!"

and so it was all aboard the struggle bus, population lewis, falling victim to kevin, carlos, who was still unable to pass danny rics , and max, who was having terrible time with his tires.

lewis briefly escaped the struggle bus when he was able to pass kevin on lap 11. kevin also reviewed his first 10 second penalty for skipping the chicane. but this did not seem to deter kevin because then he drove into lewis and left the track again.

"i wonder how many penalties he wants to pick up today" crofty wondered aloud. hint: this would not be his last penalty.

because! kmags was busting out the saudi moves to an absolute t again: going super fucking fast on the straights and then slowing down in the corners. and this was really, really effective because lewis did not have any speed on the straights, so he couldn't catch him.

when lewis finally did pass him on lap 15, kevin went incredibly late on the brakes, like purposefully late just to shove lewis off the track, shoving both lewis and yuki (who was behind him) off the track. even the commentators thought the move was insane, saying that "there was no way he was going to make the apex on that" however! lets remember that kevin was protecting his teammate nico from the cars behind him so that he could be guaranteed points. so nico had a sizable gap (6 seconds) between him and the cars behind when hamilton and yuki passed kevin on lap 16.

closing in on the end of the race. carlos was STILL stuck behind daniel, who had defended his ass off for 15 laps. kevin magnussen had received yet another penalty. and hamilton managed to pass yuki on the last lap for 8th position (but then he got a 20 second penalty for speeding in the pit lane so it meant nothing)

all in all, an interesting race. especially if you were daniel ricciardo who managed to finish in fourth and then barked like a dog over his radio:

and after the race, they caught up with kevin and asked him about his million penalties (he ended up with 3 ten second penalties for leaving the track and gaining an advantage and one 5 second penalty for track limits) (crofty and martin brundle were in agreement that the penalties that kevin received were not consistent with the severe lack of penalties that were given for the turn one lap one incident. the consensus from them was “i think he was over the limit in many ways on many occasions there" and it was a “little outrageous but he wasn’t plowing into the side of people”)

reguardless, here is what kevin (and lewis) had to say

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by @not_another_f1_fan

basically, kevin seems pretty upset that he is playing the teammate game and nico is not. nico though does have a contract already at a different team, so he really doesnt have to worry about impressing haas

and well, in case you were curious, max won. charles was p2, checo was p3. with all the penalties, kevin ended in 18 and hamilton ended in 16.

and!!! mr logan sargeant!!! for the first time EVER finished ABOVE HIS TEAMMATE in p10!!! (alex was in p13) he came and he DELIVERED!!! he was driving on SOFT TIRES in MIAMI in the HEAT and he SLAYED getting replaced rumors WHOMST

(sorry. i am american. can you tell?)

onto the qualifying session! full steam ahead!

all in all, it was kinda boring. the most interesting thing to happen was danny rics getting p17 (not including his three place grid penalty from the last race) after coming in p4 in the sprint. logan missed out on getting into q2 by .034 seconds lando opted to stay on the medium tires for the last part of qualifying because mclaren didnt want a repeat of spring qualifying where he couldnt get the softs up to temperature. despite this, he still only managed a p5.

oh and this headline:

and so, the grid was set, locked and loaded:

p1: max p2: charles p3: carlos p4: checo p5: lando p6: oscar p7: george p8: lewis p9: nico p10: yuki p11: lance p12: pierre p13: esteban p14: alex p15: fernando p16: valtteri p17: logan p18: danny rics p19: kevin p20: zhou

and it was time for the race to start.

and it started with a definite bang because checo almost took out max on the first lap:

the near crash shuffled the front up a little. oscar was able to gain three places and ended up right behind charles in p3. lando, meanwhile, was shoved further back down the grid in the mayhem (as well as checo) to p6. and on lap five, oscar managed to pass charles for p2. clearly, the upgrades, even the half upgrades that oscar had, were clearly working. he was only 2 seconds behind max (unusual as max usually flies off into the sunset) and was defending like hell against the two ferraris.

meanwhile, estie bestie and pierre were fighting. literally fighting. they were driving Next To Eachother, Wheel To Wheel on the track from turns 13-16 on lap 1. at very fast speeds. it was truly nail biting stuff. alpine even posted about it on instagram:

and who else was fighting? the ferraris, they were fighting. carlos was behind charles, but was convinced that he had more pace than charles did and wanted to pass. Ferrari basically said fuck it whatever and let them fight it out, no team orders. carlos did not end up passing charles.

pit stops played an important role in this race. and many people pitted early. albon, stroll, sargeant, bottas, hulkenberg and gasley. the majority of the back of the grid. all pitted before lap 13. which was interesting because the undercut (pitting for tires before the people around you) is really not effective on the track due to the amount of tire degradation.

anywhoozies. it was shaping up to be a fairly normal and boring race. max was out in front, the ferraris were fighting, the french civil war was alive and well. all normal things to see on a sunday afternoon.

well. it was almost normal. charles and oscar were feuding in the front. as in not they themselves were feuding, but their teams were feuding. charles was told to do whatever oscar didnt do. and oscar was told to do whatever charles didnt do. ferrari even faked a pit stop on lap 15 to try and trick mclaren into pitting oscar earlier and putting charles up into p2. it did not work.

and the normal continued. lando fought with perez for fifteen laps before checo finally pitted on lap 15 and lando was able to get in front of him.

"i dont know what the lando norris equivalent of hammer time is," martin brundle said as checo sailed into the pits. "he needs to bring it."

and bring it he did. he in p5 behind carlos sainz. his race engineer, will, said on lap 20 they should stop defending against the cars behind him and go get carlos. lando was pleased with this. "yeah! ill agree!" he said "i'll go get him!"

while he was chasing carlos, max hit a cone on turn 15 during lap 22.

it was the cone that was on the chicane, showing the cars where the curbing was, and max just kind of plowed into it:

he was asked about this moment late in the post race press conference and said:

"i didnt like it. so i decided to take it out. and test the durability of the front wing as well. so thats a crash test done. yeah, there was no damage. the cone was out of the way for everyone so everyone it was basically free for all."

the williams app, giving a race play by play had this to say about that lap:

"not satisfied with all his recent trophies, verstappen has picked up a board from the chicane as well... unfortunately for him hes dropped and left it at T16"

but regardless. there was a cone on the track. a Cone was On The Track. according to george it was in the racing line. what are they gonna do? call a virtual safety car on lap 23 for like half a lap.

after the virtual safety car ended and the cone was cleared, max decided it would be a good time to make a pit stop, which meant oscar was now leading the race! being him was carlos, lando and then max. max was a solid 10 seconds behind lando, who was catching up to carlos.

lando got the fastest lap on lap 25 and according to ted down in the pitlane "lando norris [was] doing brilliant laps" and max was loosing time chasing him, and he (max) had very very low grip

and he did not get past carlos, but he did end up leading the race on lap 28 when oscar and carlos both pitted.

and then. the race was about to heat up. menace k mags was back and he had a new target: logan sargeant. kevin had tried to pass logan and rammed into him, sending loan sailing into the wall.

to say logan was upset about it would be an understatement:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by 🏎 BoxTalk F1 (@boxtalkpr)

for real, this poor kid cannot fucking catch a break. you can tell how upset he is because he wants the team to think well of him and he knows that he only has one shot to prove himself and doesnt want to waste his chance in f1. and to be knocked out at your home race is absolutely brutal.

after the race, he posted an instagram post of him fishing in front of a sunset to the song something in the orange. please give this man a break he deserves it.

regardless. this caused a safety car. and people pitted under the safety car. pretty much everyone who didnt pit already pitted under the safety car. including lando norris. and he came out of the pits in front of max.

by the time the safety car ended on lap 33, lando was still leading and max was still behind him, charles was in p3, oscar in p4 and carlos in p5. lando had new tires but red bull had speed.

max tried to overtake lando once the safety car ended but he wasnt able to, and then max made a mistake at turn 8 and fell behind with carlos catching up to him.

by the time the drivers could use their DRS again, lando was already more than a second ahead of max and out of DRS range, which would make it harder for max to pass him.

now might be a very good time to remind you all that lando norris has never won a race in f1. he has come close, but he has never won. he really really really wants to win one. people have even started calling him lando no wins cause he has no wins. hes been in f1 for 6 years. he has not won. hes leading a race. he doesnt need to pit. his car is freshly upgraded. and max verstappen is behind him.

while lando was creating a gap, carlos was fighting with Oscar.

now. carlos and oscar have a feud. i dont really know why. but they always seem to pick fights with eachother on track. well, carlos usually picks fights with oscar on track, oscar is usually just chilling.

previous incidents between these two have included but not been limited to:

oscar saying "Classic Carlos, just sitting in the middle of the road, I see nothing has changed" over his radio during the 2023 abu dhabi practice session

a tweet from carlos after the 2023 spa gp that said "not what we wanted today. racing incident, but oscar was too optimistic. he was never side by side and that move has never really worked in spa" (ps. they both dnf'd here after crashing into eachother)

oscar saying "mate, is carlos blind or what?" during practice at the 2023 monza gp

carlos saying (in response to nearly running into oscar during monza practice) "its like hes doing it on purpose"

and well. the feud is still alive and well:

"he pushed me off the track!" carlos said on lap 35 when oscar had definitely not pushed him off the track.

"just tell him to give me a positon and he doesn’t get a panelty" carlos said a lap later. "tell mclaren to be telling him because they need to be telling him."

oscar did not give him the position back and instead got his elbows out.

meanwhile! back at the front lando was a whole tWO SECONDS AHEAD of max on lap 37 AND he had the fastest lap.

mclaren told oscar that ferrari wanted him to swap with carlos but they didnt agree and told oscar not to do anything. so oscar kept defending. and carlos continued to complain.

max, who was still 2 seconds behind lando, came on the radio saying "i can’t get the car to turn it’s a disaster” which was just “music to the ears of everyone at mclaren and charles leclerc” 

well. maybe not everyone at mclaren. because oscar was still battling with carlos. carlos tried to pass him on lap 39 but failed. then he did pass, oscar passed him back and then carlos went to pass him Again, but failed and they touched eachother. Hamilton and perez managed to pass oscar before it was revealed on lap 41 that oscar had front wing damage and needed to box for a replacement.

CARLOS TWEET

and also during this time, kevin managed to get another penalty for not serving his previous penalty correctly.

lando was 3.1 seconds ahead of max

lap 42. lewis was challenging perez for fifth. "if youve got any more power give it to me!" he shouted into his radio, .5 seconds behind perez.

oscar had a truly abysmal pit stop and came out in 19th.

lap 43. lando was 3.8 seconds ahead of max.

alpine was somehow in the points with esteban ocon in 9th.

matin and crofty were discussing kevin and his infinity gauntlet of penalties.

“kevin magnussen must have his own seat up in the stewards office he’s been up there so often” said martin.

“i’m astounded that kevin as a different penalty for something he didn’t already have a penalty for," crofty said, agreeing with martin.

they were studiously ignoring lando, very not wanting to jinx him as he was 4.7 seconds ahead of max.

k mags got another penalty. this time for entering the pit lane. lance stroll got a track limited warning. lando was 5.2 seconds ahead

ten laps to go.

lap 48. fernando was fighting with esteban ocon for 9th. oscar was up to 17th with the fastest lap.

lap 49. the camera panned to the mclaren garage. everyone looked stressed to hell.

lap 50. lando was 5.6 seconds ahead of max. the commentators were scared to find him even more now. somewhere in the world, nico rosberg was loosing his god damned mind.

lap 51. lando was 5.8 seconds ahead. oscar was fighting daniel for 16th

lap 52. oscars race engineer reminded him that "lando is leading the race we do not want to cause a safety car here." lando was 6 seconds ahead of max. lance stroll went off the track and gained two positions.

five laps to go.

lap 53. hamilton was still railing the back of perez. ocon was holding onto 10th.

lap 54. alex albon locked up. yellow flag. everyone held their breath and prayed for no safety car. but he went into the runoff area. there was no safety car. alex rejoined the track in p19.

three laps to go.

lap 55. oscar passed daniel for 15th. lando was seven seconds ahead of max.

lap 56. this would be the first time mclaren had won in America since 2012 with lewis hamilton in austin, tx. their last win basin 2021 with danny rics in monza. lando was 7.3 seconds ahead of max.

last lap.

lap 57. everyone was screaming. i was on the edge of my seat. we waited with baited breath. through the corners, hurtling down the straights. around the last bend. across the finish line.

LANDO NORRIS WINS THE MIAMI 2024 GRAND PRIX

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

it was insane! it was astounding! holy shit! he had fucking won!

and that was seemingly every other drivers thought process because seemingly everyone came up to lando to congratulate him.

immediately max and charles gave him a hug.

fernando ran over and smacked his helmet in excitement

carlos came over

followed by danny rics and george

lewis and others congratulated him later on

he stage dived his team

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by FORMULA 1® (@f1)

and charles and max absolutely soaked him on the podium

famously, lando said a few years ago (jokingly) that nico rosberg retired after his first championship im going to reture after my first win (he is not going to). but he also said a bit less jokingly that if he won he would jump in the lake outside of the mclaren technology center. and he has not done that yet. shame on you lando.

now a little interlude on max and charles here. the miami race weekend was the 12 year anniversary of their "inchident" from karting (you know the one) and tbh, the funniest thing that could have possibly happened this weekend was for both of them to be on the podium, but not win.

and ive talked about the Maxplaining and Leclercifying that has happened before, but they took their yapping to a whole new level now that the cameras weren't really on them.

YAP PICS

max also chose violence in the cool down room. upon being shown the footage of the logan crash he said "at least they have a spare chassis now" and he was Positively Shocked at hoe close perez came to knocking him out in turn 1

max even waited for charles to finish his interview so that they could ride to the podium in the same car together (there were three cars, one for each of them). and yet.

they were also unhinged in the post race press conference. max first tried to sit in the middle (the winners seat) to keep yapping with charles and charles had to point to the other side of the couch and be like buddy no youre over there

the post race press conference was unhinged as all shit. lando said that he was going to party very very hard that night and he might not come out with just a scratch on his nose this time.

and by all accounts he did party quite hard afterwards. first, the day he won was cinco fucking de mayo in miami florida and after wards he posted a photo on his instagram at NINE AM LOCAL TIME (presumably when he was about to get on a flight) that just said "recovery 1%" with the caption "worth it" (later he said that he actually didnt wake up really until tuesday morning. man had an insane night)

and later on at the mclaren celebration back in england they did a toast for him and he said "ive had enough alcohol to be honest"

lando also said during the press conference that he really finds the lando no wins nickname funny, and seeing people call him that over the years gave him so much drive to win. he also said that he wanted to use the valtteri line "to whom it may concern, fuck you" while he was on the radio in his car, but that was "copyrighted"

max was asked if he thought that lando would have still won if there hadnt been a safety car. and if you watch one video on this whole damn post, let it please be this one:

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Grand Prix Journal (@grandprixjournal)

it was just. so nice to see him win. everyone was so happy to see him win. even fred vasseur, the ferrari team principal, was given a mclaren hat and a bottle of champagne to soak lando with:

not to mention that seemingly everyone went out with lando to party afterwards. there weren't too many videos that i could find of that, but from what i saw, pretty much everyone was there.

in everyones post race interviews they all seemed to really express that they were very very happy for lando. will buxton even went as far as to say “i haven’t seen max that happy all year and he’s usually winning”

george was asked in his interview "sorry to say, but you are no longer the last british race winner" and he absolutely clapped back with "thanks. thats a very negative way to say, 'how do you feel about lando winning the race?'" and then he later said "yeah obviously happy to see lando finally get a victory. its well deserved for him. hes been doing an amazing job for a long time so"

this was a common thread among the drivers (not taking peoples negative shit about it), because max also said "if i had to get beaten today im happy it was lando, he deserves it. he did a really good job, he was flying. so yeah. its always nice to see someone win his first grand prix. its always a special day."

and lewis as well said "massive congrats to lando. i won my first grand prix with mclaren, i know how special it is to get that first one, huge congratulations to him, he truly deserves it. and mclaren, wow, im really happy for them thats my old family."

even fred vasseur said "well i want to congratulate lando and mclaren i think that they deserve it and they did a great job and im happy for them"

carlos as well said "i think he deserves it for a long time now to win a race. hes a driver that for me is going to win many many races in f1 hes been driving at an exceptional level. today he was on the lucky side, as i said but i think luck comes to the people that deserve it. and today he definitely deserved to win."

and charles said "we all grew up with the same dream of being in formula 1 one say and its always emotional for me to see him obviously realizing one of his dreams and winning his first race in formula 1 its a very special moment for him."

and then danny rics said "yeah proud to see him get his first win obviously saw his talent and ability and yeah kinda felt like it was going to happen sooner or later. and yeah really happy for him to have a day like this"

and then, pretty much every person ever made a post or commented on his congratulating lando:

oscar piastri: "well done man" carlos sainz: "CONGRATS CABRON!" lewis hamilton:"WELL DONE" alex albon: "congrats!!!" george russell: "it was always whe, not if, mate. congrats you deserve it" max verstappen: "very happy for lando norris, congrats mate!" daniel ricciardo: "and not sure if he is still alive today but very happy for lando norris on his first win" fernando Alonso: "Bravoooooo" martin garrix: "LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" max fewtrell: "So proud brother 🧡" pato oward: "GUEYYYY!!!!!! 🚀🚀" antonio giovinazzi: "Bravo Lando ! 🙌💪🏻" Heineken: "What a race!!! 👏👏👏" hollister: "🙌🔥👏 YOU DID THAT"

landos initial celebration post, by the way, was a bunch of funny and kind of terrible selfies of him with his trophy with the caption:

WWE FUCKIJG DID IT. P1 🏆

a few days later, when he was no longer hungover he made an instagram story that said

"genuinely had the most insane couple days of my life. still dont know what to say but this was a dream since i was a kid. i literally havent stopped smiling since lap 33. so much hard work to achieve this and it all finally paid off the support from my team, the mclaren papaya fans, other drivers and so so many more. ive appreciated every single bit of it. love you all. and after all this...were just getting started... and yes...still smiling"

lewis hamiltons dad even texted landos dad congratulating him!

and interestingly enough, they interviewed lando's race engineer, will. who said that the upgrade "package should favor other circuits more than miami."

so do we actually have a proper championship battle on our hands? will it just be a max sweep from here on out? whos to say. we dont know.

but what we do know, according to martin brundle, is that "the secret to beating max verstappen is injuring yourself right before the race: "we realize now the secret to beating max verstappen, remove an appendix, do an injury to your nose, some sort of operation or injury is the way now to beat max verstappen in formula 1."

and most heartwarmingly, nico rosberg seemingly predicted this. if you all recall, two weeks ago at the chinese gp, he told lando this:

"we have a race the two of us because youre at 109 and i won then i was at 111 (races) my first race so were close. your time is coming. maybe next race cause you got upgrades coming in miami! so it could be good."

and then lando won his 110th, beating nico out by one race and jenson button by four. and both of them are world champions. nico finally figured out how to use his witchcraft for good.

will buxton wrote an article for f1 about the phenomenon of lando no wins and he concluded it with this:

The universal outpouring of joy in his victory tells you another side to him. Its rare in the highly competitive world of Formula 1 to make many true friends. To a man, I can’t think of a driver who wasn’t delighted for him in Miami. I haven’t seen Max Verstappen as happy all year, and he’s won pretty much everything. That affection is real. The friendships are true. And as he brought his car to the pits, after acknowledging those who try to drag him down, he spoke words for the truly private man. For his parents and his grandmother. The part of his life he keeps closest and most guarded. For his entire Formula 1 career, he’s had to be what people expect of him. Carry the weight of manifesting the legend of the version of himself he’d always portrayed himself as being. As he grew from teenager into adulthood, an ever growing fanbase of millions expected him perhaps never to change and to always stay the same. On Sunday he received the only reply he’s ever sought. Validation. A Grand Prix winner. Just as he always knew he would and could be. What stands before him now is a level of freedom he has never known, to truly embrace the destiny that stands before him. Beyond the memes, the engagement, the lifetime lived in the spotlight of social media stardom, the witty quips and the potential to be the perfect media personality, there has always existed the hunger of the competitor. The desire to be the best. To win it all. The posts, the stories, the reels. They can write themselves now. The man, not the meme. Lando “No Wins,” no more.

thanks for reading and waiting for the update of this monstrosity. thank you for continuing to read this insane post. ill see you all in imola! o7

Sorry i tried to scroll past but, i know nothing about f1 other than max verstappen is fast, my dad doesnt like lewis hamilton, fast car goes in a loop and sometimes expodes. Could you give me a crash course in f1 drama? Im very intrigued. Whats the tea as it were?

a terribly loaded question, but i will do my best. i’ve talked about some of the drama before like the red bull second seat and the chronicles of haas but allow me to briefly try my hand at explaining the nightmare that is the upcoming silly season

under the cut we go

silly season is when the drivers go through contract renewals, extensions and switches. usually it’s confined to the first half of the season (march-july) but it has been known to extend all the way to the last race of the season and they like to switch people around at random sometimes. driver contracts are complex, there’s a lot of money involved and basically You Are The Face Of The Team so if you have a shit season then you make the team look bad. but at the same time you could have a shit season because you have a shit car. it’s sticky stuff.

so. there are only twenty seats in formula 1. 10 teams. each team gets two drivers. (there’s also reserve drivers but we’re not going to get into that). who ends up with a contract is largely up to the teams, they can pull the contract out from under people they can also cut you mid season. they’ve done it before.

of the 20 drivers on the grid, 14 of them have contracts expiring at the end of the year. yes. 14. you see how this could get complicated.

so let’s meet the teams.

red bull racing. they came first this year (and last year) in the championship. like aggressively first. like they won the championship by over 350 points. they are definitely the team to beat. but if you end up with a seat at red bull, you do have to deal with max verstappen being your teammate and he won all but three of the races last year. he’s the golden boy. red bull are also notoriously silly when it comes to contracts and famously swap people mid season who aren’t performing.

mercedes. merc is home to 7 time world champion lewis hamilton and they have won the championship a great many times, though not since 2021. they are kind of in their flop arc and their car the last 2 years has been pretty garbage, but they have still made it work because they were able to come in second last year.

ferrari. god help the poor little meow meows with a ferrari contract. ferrari is a notoriously great team and they’re trying to get back to the top again but their strategy every single time has fallen short. to the point where their drivers are the ones doing the strategy in their cars while driving. they came in third last year and have been decently consistent at getting first in qualifying and then getting beat by max verstappen on race day.

mclaren. they’ve definitely worked their way up over recent years. they ended fourth last year and have had some championship wins before but not nearly as many as say merc and ferrari. their team ceo (owner? director?) is a little interesting and their car started out a pile of flaming hot garbage at the beginning of the year but they did manage to get their shit together.

aston martin. they are owned by canadian billionaire lawrence stroll, father of lance stroll (one of the drivers for the team). they’ve undergone several name changes over the recent years (force india, racing point, etc). they positively slayed at the start of the season and then one day they sucked. they finished fifth in the championship.

alpine. the frenchest french team. they’re (i think?) still partially owned by the french government. both of their drivers are french. (their drivers also hate eachother but we’ll get to that. just know they’re in the middle of a modern french civil war). they had the opportunity to have a good rookie driver (oscar piastri) this past year but in a thrilling twitter battle, he publically flamed the shit out of them and went to mclaren instead (and slayed). they're usually solidly middle of the pack. they ended sixth in the championship.

williams. williams has been one of the back of the grid teams for the last many years but they have finally started to get their shit together and don’t quite suck as much as they used to. all of the points this year were scored by only one driver though (except one but we’ll get there). they came in seventh.

alpha tauri. they are the sister team of red bull. so technically redbull owns both teams (meaning they can swap drivers between teams. they like doing this.) they’ve just kind of been There for awhile but they did slay towards the end of the season when one of their drivers led the race for several laps. basically tho, this team is the gateway to redbull. they came in eighth.

alpha romeo. recently renamed to stake f1 team (but sometimes they are going to be called kick sauber. this is a whole other drama post and i’m not getting into it). they’re also just kind of there. generally unproblematic. seems that really great drivers who get ixed out of a contract for a younger driver end up here or young drivers who are in their early years are here before they go to a better team. they ended ninth this year.

haas. oh haas. goofy team. they suck. point blank they suck. they keep loosing sponsors because they suck, they don’t win ever (one time they came first in qualifying last year). they cursed themselves in australia in 2018 by not tightening their tires and its been downhill ever since. they came 10th. their team principle got let go (fired?) who’s to say today.

so those are the teams. it is important to note that:

-there is a cost cap. each team is allowed to spend no more than 135m per year.

-not all cars are equal. some things are standard. they all undergo the same testing. but the cars are all very different. so you can be a good driver but stuck in a shitty car. which makes it impressive if you are doing well in a shitty car.

let’s meet our drivers!!!

starting with the guys who’s contract is not ending in 2024:

max verstappen. 3 time world champion. 26 years old. general beast on the track. he dominated the whole season. he’s currently racing for red bull and has a contract with them through 2028.

lewis hamilton. 7 time world champion. 39 years old. he drives for mercedes. he will not leave mercedes until he retires. he really really wants to win an 8th world championship and is willing to stick it out a few more years as long as merc still believes in him. his contract expires in 2025.

george russell. the other merc driver. 26 years old. hes aggressively british and says thinks like blimey unironically. walking meme. got his merc seat in 2022 right when they entered their flop arc by getting his tractor of a williams to finish second in qualifying in the middle of a rainstorm. his contract expires in 2025.

lando norris. mclaren driver. 24 years old. he has notably never won a race in his five years of formula one (mostly because right when his car finally was good enough max verstappen was 20 seconds ahead of anyone) but he is regarded as Very Good. he has only ever driven for mclaren. and even though there is another year left on his contract there is mass speculation that he will not renew his contract with mclaren after it expires and he may move up to one of the top teams (red bull, merc, ferrari) (tho i think he doesnt hate himself quite enough to go to ferrari). his contract expires in 2025.

oscar piastri. the other mclaren driver. 22 years old. this was his rookie season and he positively slayed. like people compared his rookie season to lewis hamiltons rookie season. he also had the positively funniest start to his rookie year because alpine announced that he would be driving for them (he had been their reserve driver and in the alpine academy) and he posted a tweet that basically said yeah thats false i never singed anything with you and im going to race with mclaren instead (he dodged a bullet) and then alpine tried and failed to sue him for $4m USD. he signed a contract extension with mclaren this year and his contract expires in 2026.

lance stroll. aston martin driver and son of the aston martin owner. hes doing ok, tho there was conspiracy that he wanted to quit and have a tennis career awhile ago. but basically since his dad owns the team it seems that hes guaranteed a seat for as long as he wants one.

so now. moving onto the good shit. the people who have contracts expiring in 2024. hold onto your hats people.

charles leclerc. (everyones favorite slutty little soup can). 26 years old. he is currently at ferrari and he has been since 2019. notably, he was given the longest contract in the history of ferrari after a stellar rookie season at sauber (renamed to alpha romeo, renamed to stake f1) where he got the tractor of a car consistently into the points. having the longest contract in the history of ferrari was a flex at the time, but now its likely how he will introduce himself at therapy sessions. ferrari have fucked this man left right and center up the ass with a plastic lunchroom spork. hes talented, he can drive, and he can drive well. but the strategy that ferrari has absolutely sucks. either something is wrong with the car (see him blowing out his gear box on the formation lap in monaco, his car completely crapping out and spinning into the barrier in brazil before the race even started) or they fuck up his pit stops or put him on the wrong tires and honestly its just frustrating. but will he leave??? likely not. you'd have to pry ferrari out of his cold dead hands and at this rate that might be where this is headed though there has been some minor speculation of him going to another team like merc or red bull, but merc doesnt have any open seats and red bull is a whole other dumpster fire of drama. ferrari are going to have to pay him a boatload of money to make him stay.

carlos sainz. the smooth operator. 29 years old. ferrari driver. previously carlos was at toro rosso (renamed to alpha tauri), renault (renamed to alpine), and mclaren before signing with ferrari. he has been at ferrari since 2021 and has voiced that he would like to stay with them for however long he can. there is speculation that lando might replace him at ferrari (but landos contract is not up until 2025) and there is also some speculation that alex albon might replace him. while charles is clearly the golden boy at ferrari, carlos is slightly slower but also definitely consistent. he was THE ONLY non red bull driver to win a race this past year, in Singapore after max verstappedn was knocked out of qualifying by alpha tauri reserve driver liam lawson (more on him later) and because he basically came up with his own strategy in the car while he was driving.

sergio perez. aka checo. red bull driver. 33 years old. and oh boy here's where we open the can of worms. checo was previously at racing point (renamed aston martin) and it was very near the end of the 2020 (?) season and he was out of a contract. he had a bonkers race where he was knocked to the back of the grid and then overtook everyone and somehow ended up winning (there is more to that story but just trust me) and christian horner, red bull team principle, mr ginger spice and definite disney villain called him and said congrats sir you have a seat at red bull! well. fast forward. hes been causing problems. problems as in crashing a lot, generally not doing great and pissing the crap out of red bull. it is basically guaranteed at this point that he will not be getting a contract extension. there was actually talk this year of him losing his seat mid season to one of the alpha tauri drivers, because remember, red bull owns both teams and they can switch them whenever they want to (and they have!) but ultimately this did not happen. even though checo has a seat at red bull until the end of 2024, its mass speculated that he is going to get switched with an alpha tauri driver, probably daniel ricciardo (more on him shortly) mid season because there is a speculated clause in daniels contract that says that if checo isn't performing well in the first few races daniel is getting his seat.

daniel ricciardo. 34 years old. alpha tauri driver. man oh man what a guy. outside of being the prankster of the paddock, he has one of the most batshit careers of anyone currently on the grid. he started out at red bull and was showing real talent and skill and was on track to win things (and was!) and was there until the end of 2018 when max verstappen (his teammate) started getting preferential treatment and also red bull started having a lot of problems with their engines (which were being outsourced from Renault (now alpine) and another team on the grid) and well very very long story short he made the surprise move of the century and decided to sign with Renault (which makes no sense they're the one with the engine problems) and was there for 2 years before moving again to mclaren where he was reportedly not treated very well and had a hard time driving the car so they mutually ended his contract with them early and he basically retired at the end of the 2022 season and became a red bull reserve driver. then halfway through the 2023 season alpha tauri ixed one of their drivers, nyck de vries, because he wasnt doing well and promoted daniel back up to a full time driver at alpha tauri (which we know is only a step down from red bull) but then he broke his hand in a crash in zanvort (?) and then he was replaced for a few races by formula 2 driver liam lawson (who we will also talk about) and then he came back to finish out the season in alpha tauri after he was cleared. daniel has admitted openly that he never should have left red bull and he was given bad advice to do so. hes towards the end of his career at this point and its well known that he Really Really wants to finish out his career at red bull again. he and max have already been teammates before and they do work well together and daniel is great driver (see his comeback in texas (or maybe it was brazil?) this year). so. Pretty Sure that daniels going to get either an extension at alpha tauri or go up to red bull. thats what we all want. get this man in a red bull we need him there biblically.

liam lawson. now technically liam is not actually a formula 1 driver. hes a formula 2 driver, but he was daniels replacement for five races and there has been some speculation and some confirmed news about him so hes getting included. when he was racing for f1 he was at alpha tauri. hes 21 and looks like he belongs in the movie grease. no one was expecting him to slay in formula 1 and he positively knocked everyones socks off. the scene: Singapore. which, if you'll recall, is the one race that a not red bull driver won. this was largely because liam lawson slayed the absolute game in qualifying. the qualifying part of racing determines what order the cars start in on the grid for the race and theres three parts, the first two parts the bottom 5 drivers each time get knocked out and then the top 10 complete for the last 10 spots. liam lawson knocked BOTH max verstappen and checo perez out of qualifying in the second round by going very slightly faster than them, effectively fucking up red bulls race and allowing carlos to win. and he also scored points in that race, which no one was expecting. now thats all fine and dandy, but here's the speculation: hemlut marko (im pretty sure) (who is somehow decently involved in the decision making at red bull though i couldn't tell you how) said that he thinks that liam lawson will be in an f1 seat no later than 2025. meaning that he will probably get offered a contract this year. and hes already raced for alpha tauri. red bull have sunk a good amount of money into him. they clearly want him. so if he gets offered an alpha tauri seat in 2025, that means theres a good chance danny rics is going to red bull. do you SEE how the plot here is THICKENED

yuki tsunoda. age 23. currently at alpha tauri. and fun fact, the only alpha tauri driver to race there the whole year. he had three separate team mates. he is slaying and hes often slept on. he has a bit of a temper and likes to shout on the radio and also hates working out (they had to force him to move to italy or something to work out, long story) but hes been kinda killing it. he led several laps in the abu dhabi race this year and hes decently consistent. people think theres possibility that he could get moved up to red bull on account of the fact that he is younger than daniel and clearly has more years in him,, but there is also possibility that he might not because red bull like to make stupid decisions. and if he doesnt get moved up to rebel, will he stay with alpha tauri? we don't know.

alex albon. age 27. currently a williams driver. alex albon is another one with a batshit career. he started out his rookie year in 2019 at alpha tauri then got moved up to red bull halfway through the year when red bull decided that pierre gasley wasnt doing a good enough job (more on him later) and stayed with red bull for a solid year and a half until he lost his seat in 2021 to checo. he has been with williams for the last two years and is basically carrying the team. like. williams as a team scored 28 points this year. and alex albon scored 27 of those 28 points. and as we know, williams is still kind of in their shit arc (though they are doing much better. they didnt score any points for a solid 2 (?) years. so this is an improvement.) and if you can get a shit car to perform you catch the eye of bigger teams. now, alex has already been a red bull driver. and he was on the cusp of podiuming two separate times when lewis hamilton ran into him. this (among a few other things) basically killed his chances at getting resigned at red bull because he wasnt ""performing"" and red bull are bitches who love to win. but some people think that red bull should give him another shot. like daniel, hes already been max's teammate and he can definitely drive. but theres also talk he might go to ferrari because ferrari think that he might compliment charles's driving style (or something). but going to ferrari at this point is kind of suicide. so.

logan sergeant. age 23. the only american on the grid. the other williams driver. he just finished his rookie year. he scored a grand total of one single point this season, in texas, and it was because charles leclerc and lewis hamilton both got disqualified because the floor of their car had more wear (by literally less than millimeters) than it was allowed to, bumping him up from 12th to 10th. he has never done better than alex albon. he was also the very last driver to get a contract for 2024, with williams waiting until i think december of 2023 to announce his contract extension. clearly, hes on thin ice. but people have also said that he needs time to get used to formula 1 (other people have pointed out that oscar piastri slayed his rookie season this year and this statement about needing time is largely false). where logan ends up next year though will largely depend on how well the 2024 season goes for him.

fernando alonso. 42 years old. many people like to point out that oscar piastri is actually younger than fernando's racing career. he won tiktok creator of the year (somehow) and is also a 2 time world champion. he retired a few years ago, just to show back up again and slay. during the first half of the season when aston martin had a zoom zoom car he killed it, and then they had problems on top of problems and he didnt do well. except for that one race in brazil where he came in third, beating checo by literally .05 seconds. he hasn't really made any hints about retiring a second time and he is kind of carrying aston Martin right now (he scored 205 points this season, coming in 4th and tying in points with charles leclerc, lance stroll only scored 74 points this year.) and they did have their best year yet this year. (though they are relatively new).

pierre gasley. 27 years old. french. drives for alpine. the french team. previously he raced with toro rosso (now alpha tauri), then got promoted to a red bull driver in 2019, then halfway through the season they decided he wasnt doing a good enough job and he got demoted back down to alpha tauri. then he won a race with alpha tauri just to stick it to red bull. after the great oscar piastri contract twitter war, he was signed as alpines second driver, with Esteban ocon being the other driver (more on him soon). estie bestie and pierre (both french) were childhood friends and now hate each other for unknown reasons and basically feuded on the track for most of the season. french civil war at alpine. he scored 62 points in 2023 and came in 11th. not really sure where he will end up, it is possible that he will stick it out at alpine.

esteban ocon. 27 years old. also french. currently driving for alpine. another one with a silly bonkers career. he started out at force india and had a baller few seasons there but his teammate at the time was checo, and checo didnt really cooperate with him too much and caused some drama that cost estie bestie some places and some points. max verstappen also beat him up in the garage once. thats not really relevant but it did happen. anyway, after the owner of force india was arrested for .... i don't remember what maybe it was embezzlement or bankruptcy or something money related, the team was backed by lawrence stroll and became racing point. but all of that happened mid season and lawrence was basically like look ill back you guys for now but next year my son gets a seat (lance) so one of you two (checo and estie bestie) have to go. and ultimately they let estie bestie go even though he was more consistent because checo had more sponsors and they needed money. so he was out of formula 1 for a few years (but was a merc reserve driver) and then went to Renault, which then became alpine. he did come in 12th though overall this season, just behind pierre. so. will alpine keep both him and pierre and keep the civil war going? whos to say.

nico hulkenberg. 36 years old. haas driver. in his 200+ f1 races he has never been on the podium and he really really wants to be on the podium. unfortunately this will never happen in a haas because haas fucking sucks. and everyone knows it. he is getting towards the end of his career though. though! stake f1 will become the mario Andretti and audi team in 2026 (don't question it) and they have supposedly voiced interest in nico. so we will see if he hangs on that long to end up at audi. for now tough, hes definitely hating it at haas. though, haas are going to have a different team principle next year so maybe that will change things. i have a sneaky feeling through that haas will probably end up with another 2 rookie drivers because everyone else is smart enough to not race for them.

kevin magnussen. 31 years old. haas driver. hes another deeply interesting character. he has had one podium. in his rookie season. in his first race. and none since. kevin started at haas in 2017 and then left at then end of 2020 when he basically got kicked off because the team needed money and they wanted to bring in drivers with more sponsorships. these drivers were mick schumacher and nikita mazepin. so kevin basically was forced to retire after the 2020 season. this went decently well for haas. until russia invaded ukraine right before the start of the 2022 season and, well, nikita was Russian and it was never distinctly proven that his dads company (who was sponsoring the team) wasnt also funding the invasion. so nikita got fired and they were literally like 2 weeks out from the start of the season, down a driver. who are you gonna call? kevin magnussen! and hes been back ever since. but hes clearly getting annoyed with haas. there was one great clip from this year where his car caught on fire and he kind of just stared into to, clearly hoping it would burn for a long time. so the likelihood of him extending his contract is looking slim.

valtteri bottas. 34 years old. currently a driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo, kick sauber, whatever you wanna call it). previously, he was a mercedes driver and notoriously helped lewis hamilton win a great many championships, until he lost his seat to george russell in 2022. there was a rather awkward part of the 2021 season where valtteri knew that he was out of a merc seat the following year and kind of just chose violence. he slayed. then he went to alpha romeo, grew a mullet and made a calendar of his ass. quite the glow up if you ask me. hes also very interested in cycling. honestly though, i have my own personal speculation that hes going to retire at the end of this year.

zhou guanyu. 24 years old. driver for stake f1 (alpha romeo/kick sauber, etc etc). hes doing alright. he just finished his second season, in his first season he was majorly out qualified by valtteri but this past season he managed to out qualify him a good 6 times. which is decently good for the tractor of a car hes driving. its possible that he could get a contract extension, but like logan, its probably going to depend on how the 2024 season goes for him.

and thats all the drivers. theres also a few others i didnt talk about, like some other f2 drivers who want seats and mick schumacher, who is currently a merc reserve driver, all of which could be contenders for f1 seats. but one things for sure. this is going to be the silliest fucking silly season.

feel free to add on and peer review me

[fardell24b]

15th January 2023 Writings

15th

Excerpt from: Legacy of Westchester

Attempts by the RMCP to hunt her down are for naught.

 The magical community in Frederickton decides to reveal itself after much discussion. They offer their assistance to the New Brunswick Provincial Government. The Provincial Government decides to accept that assistance by the end of the year.

  United States

More Mothmen are seen in West Virginia through the year. Attempts to discover their nests are unsuccessful.

The attempts by the FBI to catch her only serve to chase her into Canada.

 A Coven in Maine is raided in November.

 (The Magical Community in Salem, Massachusetts decides to remain in hiding…)

  Mexico

The Government searches for magical artefacts in Mayan ruins…

  Caribbean

Increased sightings of Merfolk occur around most islands, but especially around Jamaica and Saint Martin.

There are more reports of Mermaids along the coast of Northumbria through the year.

Attempted exploration of the World Tree occurs through the year.

 Warsaw Pact

Through the year, the decay of the giant snake would cause pollution, especially in the Baltic Sea, where most of the fish die…

 Also through the year, various groups of werewolves would go back into hiding.

 In July, the Snake’s venom glands would burst, further poisoning a region of east Poland.

  Greece

Various parts of the population continue to transform…

 This would lead to the establishment of the Antiquities Investigation Service by the Government.

  Maghreb

The Algerian Civil War continues.

  Horn of Africa

The Eritrean Civil War continues.

Central Africa

The Congo Crisis continues.

  Southern Africa

The Angolan War continues.

 Asia Minor

The Soviets occupy more of Turkey.

  China

The Chinese Civil War continues as warlords capture more territory from the CCP.

 The number of registered Mages in New Zealand passes 1000 in mid March.

 Words: 287

  Excerpt from: The Messed Up Magazine Girls

It was an ordinary day at Middleton High School. Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable were walking between classes when Mr. Barken came up to them. “Ms. Possible! You’ll never guess who’s waiting on the phone to hear from you!”

 “Um, a crazy fan?” Kim wondered.

 “I don’t think so, Possible. It’s…” He paused realising that Ron was there. “Sorry, Stoppable, this can’t be divulged in public. I’m sworn to secrecy,” he said in annoyance.

 “No problem,” Ron said. “I’ll see you later, KP!”

  Kim found herself in the teacher’s lounge. “It is Kel, as in The Kel!” Barkin said.

 Kim was suspicious. “The only Kel I know of is the editor of that stupid teen magazine.”

 Words: 116

  Excerpt from: An Aquatic Second Contact

She found an assistant and raft waiting.

 “Please step onto the raft,” assistant said.

 “Don’t worry. I can swim,” Mariner said as she took out a pair of goggles.

 “You don’t need to,” the assistant objected.

 “But I want to,” Mariner said as she put on the goggles. She then dived from the airlock into the water.

  As soon she had dived into the water, the HUD in the goggles activated, providing Mariner with the route information to the meeting room. Having memorised the information, she deactivated the HUD and started breaststroking through the water, taking breaths every twenty seconds.

 It didn’t take long, but it allowed Mariner to take a closer look, so to speak, at the people. She saw that they moved their tail flukes up and down as Matt and Kimolu would and she accidentally got an eyeful of obviously mammalian anatomy as she almost crashed into a short-haired lady as they tried to round the same corner. “Sorry,” she said as they both surfaced.

 “That’s OK,” the lady said. “To be expected with visitors. Besides I was preoccupied.”

“Oh?”

 “None of your business!” the lady said before submerging and swimming off.

 “Of course,” Mariner said. She continued on her way.

  “Mariner!” Freeman exclaimed, exasperated at her daughter’s contrary nature, “you didn’t need to swim!”

 “I wanted to,” Mariner explained as she clambered onto the platform between the Captain and Ma’ah. “Besides, neither you nor Ransom ordered me not to.”

 “Obviously,” Freeman said with a sigh. “In any case I asked you to come here because of what Captain Ma’ah has informed us of.”

 “And what is that?” Mariner asked Ma’ah.

  Mariner watched the video of Martok’s information twice. That a rogue house would do such a thing didn’t surprise her.

 Words: 294

  Excerpt from: Sixteenth Doctor Adventures

“So, I’ve been informed by the Doctor,” the nondescript person responded. “Initiate the defence plans.”

 “Yes, sir.”

 “Now, where have you taken Xavier?” the Doctor demanded.

 “Somewhere, Doctor.”

 “You’re not going to use him as a human shield!”

 “Of course not, Doctor, but you’ll be busy looking for him as we fight UNIT!”

 “Don’t I know that!” the Doctor groused as she left the office.

  Meanwhile, Xavier struggled against his artificial captors.

 Words: 72

 Total: 669

[overlooked-gems]

A Look At Stuff You Probably Never Heard Of: Elf Bowling the Movie

Okay, I meant to do this earlier, but I was busy and forgot, so sorry about that. But, I suppose it’s better late than never. Today, we’ll be taking a look at... Elf Bowling the Movie!

Elf Bowling the Movie: The Great North Pole Elf Strike (henceforth just “Elf Bowling”) is a computer-animated movie released on October 2nd, 2007, serving as an adaptation of the game(s) of the same name, also known as “Elf Bowling”, though mostly telling its own story. The movie was directed and produced by Dave Kim (he would later work on the Simpsons Movie and The Golden Compass) and Rex Piano. And Martin Olson is in charge of writing; he previously worked on the likes of Rocko’s Modern Life (including Static Cling), Phineas and Ferb, Extreme Ghostbusters, Camp Lazlo, and Milo Murphy’s Law.

The movie starts with Santa Maria Auschwitz Kringle (voiced by Joe Alaskey), captain of the Filthy Toe. His crew goes around and steal toys while Santa secretly returns them. He’s accompanied by his half-brother, Dingle Kringle (voiced by Tom Kenny), who serves as his second-in-command. Following a game of bowling (Santa’s favorite game), the crew get angry because Dingle fudged the numbers on Santa’s behalf and start a mutiny while the two brothers argue over who is in the wrong. They’re pushed into the water, where they freeze instantly.

They’re eventually arrive in the North Pole where they are found and thawed out by an elf named Lex, who believes Santa is Whitebeard, a legendary figure who is destined to lead the elves. Lex himself wields a magical ball that allows him to use magic. The two brothers are introduced to the Elves’ Workshop, where they make toys for fun and store them away with Santa deciding to give the toys away to the kids of the world. And following a minor disagreement with Dingle, who wants to steal the toys, Dingle drops Lex’s ball, causing it to roll into a group of elves, knocking them over. The elves love what happened, so Santa calls it “Elf Bowling”. The elves would go on to work for Santa to make toys, with the only stipulation being that they’re happy. As in they’re only contractually obligated to work if they’re happy. If they’re not, then they can go on strike and refuse to work.

Santa would go on to become a legendary figure and gets married to a woman named Grizelda (voiced by Jill Talley, Tom Kenny’s wife and the voice of Karen from Spongebob) known for her legendary strudels  while Dingle becomes a common crook, mooching off his brother and using Santa to bail him out when he gets in trouble. Secretly, Dingle plots with his two penguin henchmen to steal the position and the elves from his brother.

One can safely assume there are comedic moments, with the comedy ranging from non-sequiturs to wordplay to just plain bizarre moments.

And while it may not look like it, it can technically be a musical, as there are a few songs in the movie. About 3 or 4 throughout the 1 hour, 22 minute runtime. 

Honestly, this is sort of all I can say, so I’m just gonna move on to the Final Recommendation Never Let Go Of It||Get It||Hold Onto It||Try It||Consider It||Stay Away From It

Look, this movie isn’t good by any stretch of the imagination. But similar to other terribad movies like Dragon Ball Evolution or Doogal, it’s the kind of movie where you can get some friends together and laugh at it. There’s honestly no good points about the movie. And it can be weirdly cartoony at times, like Dingle stretching his neck to impossible lengths. And the movie can be weirdly sensual sometimes. Especially with Dingle’s “girlfriend” near the end of the movie.

And you know how I mentioned Santa and Dingle were pirates? Yeah, they initially planned to get a ship to go after their old crew, but that gets dropped almost immediately. Heck, Santa and Dingle fall overboard within the first five minutes of the movie, it’s completely dropped by about minute 15, and the ship and crew are never seen or mentioned again following the mutiny.

Apparently, there was a sequel planned called “Elf Bowling 2: The Great Halloween Pumpkin-Heist” but it was immediately cancelled because of the awful reception of the movie.

I also previously mentioned this movie was based on the Elf Bowling games. Elf Bowling, for those unaware, is a PC game from 1998 developed by NStorm. The elves have gone on strike due to being overworked from the high demand of Christmas toys. So Santa decides to play a bit of Elf Bowling to whip them back into shape by using them as bowling pins. And that’s the entire plot. Bowling, but replace the pins with elves. It’s also a little crude, as you can hit a reindeer passing down the lane and sometimes the pinsetter will take an elf’s head off. The sequel, Elf Bowling 2, has Santa and Dingle (who used to work as a used ice cream salesman) competing in a game of shuffleboard, but using the elves as pucks. Winner takes the title of “Father Christmas”. Both games would end up being ported onto a 2-in-1 compilation cartridge for the GameBoy Advanced and Nintendo DS by Ignition Games.

I also wasn’t sure where to put this, but near the end of the movie, Dingle since a song about how great slavery is, because he enslaved the elves. The song is even titled “Slavery Makes the World Go Round”. And there’s one line that’s especially infamous. “Who pooped in the peanut barrel?!”.

If you want to see the movie, it’s available on Amazon Prime and on YouTube. Yes, it’s on YouTube and you can watch it for free with no ads.

I’ll see you all next month at the start of the new year! And with it, a game that I’ve had my sights on for about a year or two now. I’ll see you then and have a Happy new Year.

[vendettapandav]

John Loves You AU notes

So I'm awake now and I've been seeing this Swap AU concept everywhere, so naturally, I wanted to contribute by bringing my own little interpretation of things to the table ❤️

Big credit to @zzoupz and @salmonandsoup bc they formed the basis for a lot of these ideas and I just wanted to build on some of the concepts bc they are insanely cool and inspiring ✨

John Ward - Charismatic, well-spoken, manipulative, but quite spineless and cowardly otherwise, John is a priest who can’t help but look at the world with scorn. He is of the belief that humanity is irredeemable in its current state. That no amount of prayer and penance can save mankind now. The only way for there to be salvation is for the world to effectively be “reset” by God once more. Much like Noah and his Ark, John feels that it is his mission to gather all those that are still able to be saved and are destined for the new world. Once he has gathered them all in his temple, The Ark, he intends to initiate a ceremony to unleash a “flood of angels” into the world. He believes that God will not be able to ignore such a sign and will “wipe the slate clean,” after which he and his followers will emerge in a new Eden and rebuild the world as God intended. Also, he wields a dagger in the shape of a cross (because that idea is cool as hell and I’m obsessed with it.) His cult features iconography of hoofed animals, especially lambs, goats, and deer.

Lisa Pearson - John’s right-hand woman and chosen “vessel.” If he is Joseph, then she is the Mother Mary of the Cult of the Ark. Having known John since childhood, she had no reason not to trust him when he told her the world would soon end and that he needed her help, especially when he was inaugurated as a priest and claimed: “it was God’s will.” She trusts John wholeheartedly to protect her and save her soul. She is loyal to him and utterly adores him, and she will stubbornly deny that she is with him against her will. She genuinely loves John, and she’s very kind and sweet, and non-hostile, unlike John and the rest of the cult. One should tread lightly though, as she is very perceptive, and she is very much a tattle-tail. Any perceived threat she sees will immediately be reported, and John will respond with full force to defend her. Even if that means having to stab someone himself. She helps John run the abortion clinic and harvest “young, pure souls” to use as messengers to God.

Father Garcia - Garcia is considered the guardian of John’s flock. He’s referred to as the Shepherd by John’s followers, the Angel by John himself, and the Reaper by all outsiders that try to lead his lambs astray. A senior priest, John took advantage of him during the lowest point in his life after the death of his wife. He deceived a grieving Garcia into believing that he could find peace again or perhaps even see her when the world was reborn into a new Eden, and all he had to do was play the role of Shepherd for his flock of chosen ones. Garcia was all too happy to accept in his desperation to find purpose and faith again, gladly taking up arms and fiercely defending John and his cult. He’s a stern, stubborn old man who has bought completely into John’s rhetoric and cannot be swayed, for he has nothing left to lose. He’s former military and he speaks candidly of how he served in Vietnam in particular. He’s also a hunting enthusiast, so he knows his way around traps and guns and will use this knowledge to keep outsiders at bay.

Amy Martin - Displaced just before she turned 18, Amy ended up being taken in by Miriam. Her family and she frequently got into arguments and fights about the fact she worked at an abortion clinic. Her parents threatened to throw her out so Amy went a step ahead and left on her own after they tried placing nonsensical rules and restrictions on her. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise, as Amy’s family became the first victims of John and his cult after they refused to join his cause. He believed they would be easy to indoctrinate on account of their grief over their lost twins but they resisted. As such, he ended up having them killed and used their corpses as part of a summoning ritual for some “angels.” Amy never learned the truth past the fact that her family was murdered. She’s furious and bitter and demands to be included in Gary’s mission to take down the cult.

Michael Davies - Left in the care of Father Garcia by a family who mistook his albinism for demonic possession, when Garcia joined the cult he brought Michael with him. Michael was originally planned to be used as a vessel; “a mouthpiece for God.” (Aka, he was going to be possessed by a demon.) Somehow, he managed to escape and was offered sanctuary by Miriam until Gary could properly exorcise him. Unfortunately, Gary was unable to do so and Michael ended up escaping their care. Now, Gary’s mission is to find him, free his soul, and destroy John’s cult before they find him first and unknowingly complete the ritual that will open the world to a flood of demons.

Tiffany Robinson - Tiffany is Gary's childhood friend. She was often the only one who stood beside him when others picked on him for his status as a bastard child. As they got older, they stayed very close despite their significant differences. While Gary went on to become a preacher, Tiffany leaned more into news reporting and writing in general and adopted an agnostic mindset. They still spend a lot of time together and she volunteers herself up as his assistant who takes notes for him and helps him edit and practice his sermons while joking around with him.

Gary Miller - Gary is a preacher, albeit not an overly religious one. He takes a more loose and accepting interpretation of the Bible, focusing less on God and more on the stories, encouraging community support and acceptance. His heart is in the right place, but he tends to come off as very cynical and critical of the Church as an organization and holds a bitterness towards established religion due to the way it was shoved down his throat as a child. He’s got a small but devoted following, despite his opinions being unpopular with most. When he’s not at an altar, he’s usually volunteering in the local community. He uses a cane (with a sword in it bc like I said before, I’m OBSESSED with the concept) to get around. While he’s mostly healthy, old age has caught up with him a bit and his left knee is in a sore state on account of an incident with some other kids in his youth that left it damaged. He’s kind, charismatic, a bit snarky and sarcastic with his humor, but overall well-mannered and good-natured.

Miriam Bell - Miriam was a devoted nun for decades before she had Gary. He was an unplanned child for obvious reasons and seeing as termination wasn’t an option (and she would have just been further ostracized for it), she was excommunicated from her church as a nun. This didn’t stop her from loving Gary with all her heart, nor did it stop her from attending a different church with her boy despite the constant rumors and nasty comments about her situation. She was the one who taught him to judge less and be more kind and tolerant. Her only regret is not doing more to protect him from the constant badgering from others who knew he was born out of wedlock. She’s a loving, protective figure in her greater general community and is a bit of a mama bear to all the kids. If you walk into her house, you will notice a lot of handmade dolls, a lot of old jewelry, and a lot of swords to go with the homemade cooking. She teaches self-defense classes on the side, and she still spoils her adult son.

Alu, Roger, Jefferey, Malphas - All powerful demons conjured from Hell to usher in chaos and the end of days, John believes them to be nothing more than angels. He’s summoned them under the thought that they will get God’s attention and serve as witnesses and testimonies as to why the earth should be flooded and purged once more. Tricksters that they are, they are more than happy to go along with his delusions and make demands for “evidence” in the form of sacrifices and ceremonies. He doesn’t realize that they’re not angels, and they’re just fine with that fact.