#escape to the house of mummies part ii
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Escape to the House of Mummies Part II
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EXECUTIONER: Give me the Hand of Osiris!
DR VENTURE: Give me head.
#the venture bros#s02e04#escape to the house of mummies part ii#you did not just say that#i absolutely did-what are you going to do about it?#lives rent free in my head#YouTube
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REDRAW Venture Bros S01E10 "Tag Sale— You're It!"
→ → to all Billy Quizboy & Pete White posts
The scene where Mr. White and Master Billy (they didn't have full names yet) try to sell Dr. Girlfriend on becoming their nemesis opens with a tilt (camera moves up-down on X-axis), which I patched together from multiple screenshots.
This episode is officially Conjectural Technologies first appearance post-pilot, but the episode order was scrambled. Even as early as this episode is, when everything looked kinda “off” in general, in this scene in particular the proportions are very odd.
Dr. Girlfriend is enormous. It's not from a forced perspective/"wide lens" effect since even White is looking up at her— she really is like 7 feet tall here. The stretch is somewhat hidden by the tilt. She's supposed to be barely 5' (according to Doc on a commentary track)— a petite lady. Meanwhile, Billy's way too small in the shot. He's usually level with White's top row of buttons.
I rejiggered the proportions while faithfully recreating the poses, which I find both static/boring (the boys) + weird (why are her hands posed like that?) If I recall, I don't think anyone moves in this shot, just the simulated camera angle, so it may have been one drawing so no one could move, explaining the stiff poses.
Looks like I accidentally created a new subtext. White gives Billy judgemental side-eye for looking up with reverential joy at Dr. Girlfriend about to bless him with a laying-on of hands on his big ol' melonhead.
When I've drawn White with his parasol before, I used the typical Japanese design. I considered maybe the canon brolly might have been based on a Thai (or another Southeast Asian culture's) design. When it comes back in a later episode it has more of an inverse curve to it that you see in old temple roofs.
I've searched everywhere for a real life parasol with this design. Nothing. The closest I can find are big beach umbrellas at fancy resorts, but they aren't open at the top with criss-crossing ribs. Venture Bros takes place in a world very much like ours, but with subtle differences. This umbrella is one of those differences.
In my redraw, I added a Santa windsock. If you don't know why, turn in your fan club card, you POSEUR.
I found this abandoned drawing on my backup drive from 2021. Decided to finish it as self-care. (I'm moving in two weeks and very stressed out.)
First time (kinda) drawing Dr. Girlfriend. Only my fourth VB character drawn after, like, four years? Fifth if you count the Rusty Venture action figure.
What did they do with the Santa Windsock? Which one wanted it? Did Venture refuse sell it to them after he threw a snit over the Shrink Ray? He claims he won't sell the Shrink Ray to them in that scene (because they said the logo was stupid), but then they have it (in pieces) in their possession when he comes looking for it in Escape to the House of Mummies (Part II)
→ to Master Billy Quizboy & Pete White index
edited to add a further idea....
If only the show had an unlimited animation budget, it'd be more in character for Billy to be jumping around and gesturing wildly while making his pitch to be her nemesis. Sweaty. Hard sell.
...and smoking. (My version of Billy smokes.)
#screenshot redraw#redraw scene#redraw#billy quizboy#pete white#dr. girlfriend#adult swim#vbros#venturebrothers#venture bros#art#illustration#illustrator#adobe illustrator#digital illustration#digital art#vector illustration#vector art#season 1#tag sale#yard sale#vector#graphic art#dtiys#draw this in your style
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X-Files Collector's Edition: Fics That Deserve More Comments (Part I)
There isn't enough recognition for these fics in my opinion-- and that's a shame and must be rectified! SO-- I'm pushing this list out ASAP, without the usual aplomb and probably half-cocked; but it's the final results that count~. (At least that's what I tell myself.)
**Note**: All of these will be in a more detailed list in future.
**Note Again**: I got too tired to thoroughly finish it all professionally; but I decided to hit publish anyway. Have fun reading~.
**Note the 3rd**: This is probably littered with typos-- will ghost edit later. >:))))
Very loose chronological order below~
@txcb1013/charvill1981's
Paths Most Dangerous
AU-- Pre-S1 Captain Scully is warned by his old mate about Scully's new job, both men realizing it has to do with the Piper Maru submarine.
Save by the Sight of Her
Pusher Mulder observes Scully's hurt, betrayal, and quick wit with a gun to her face; but she still keeps him guessing.
The Longest Summer
Post IWTB Mulder had tried to garden himself out of depression. Scully takes some plants with her, hoping that some space will help him heal while not letting him hide out at home forever.
Role of a Lifetime - Chapter 3
AU-- Post IWTB Scully disappeared; and Mulder finds someone he believes to be her five years later. All is not sunshine and roses, with her slowly repelling the life she used to live. This chapter explores Mulder's heartbreak and her explanation-- it's not him she's rejecting, but her own fears of herself.
Rainy Day
Pre-S10 Scully returns, telling Mulder her cancer has returned. He then surprises her twice: by fainting dead away, and proposing immediately after.
Jo_B's
Anterograde
Deep Throat Mulder is deeply shocked and grateful at how capable, empathetic, and understanding Scully is after his rescue.
holocene
Post Redux II Mulder crashes at his apartment as reality sinks in: in just 24 hours, Scully will be energetically packing her bag and going back home.
@agentmulderrp's
Unnamed
Squeeze Mulder is glad that Scully stuck around.
Unnamed
Irresistible Mulder regrets that he hadn't arrived sooner, realizing Scully's "I'm fine" is code for anything but.
Unnamed
Per Manum Mulder is so shocked at Scully's request that he gets a pencil bop to the face. (Set right after he and Scully started dating.)
That WALKERKid's
These selfish wants of mine
Post One Breath Mulder breaks into his office and tears it apart.
No matter how it happened, I do love you
S8 Mulder massages Scully's feet aches, in awe over his baby's foot outline and "UFO’s, road trips and mummy and daddy being in love".
Of all the things this unremarkable house has seen
Pre-S10 Mulder jogs along, depressed and thinking he'll never be forgiven. Scully calls, trying to veil her concern.
The questions we don't ask each other
S10 Mulder asks a Magic 8 ball if Scully will ever forgive him; and receives no clear answer.
pir8grl 's This Time
Mulder and Scully trade gentle touches, having escaped death this time.
AlineLovelace's Jericho
AU Scully's body has vanished; but her ghost keeps trying to get Mulder-- who haunts her 'grave'-- to move on with life.
forgottenwords's
Scar Tissue
S3 Scully contemplates her and Mulder's scars.
Wagers
Mulder is mortified over Skinner's personal inquiry of his 'relationship.' Scully is mortified the FBI bet is in the thousands.
adamstanheight's hindsight is twenty-twenty
Monday Skinner is dry-mouthed and horrified as his two agents blow up in the bank, the guilt over his actions in S. R. 819 coming home to roost.
@i-turn-to-stare/iturntostare's An Early Morning, Late Start
Pre-Je Souhaite Mulder and Scully are late to the office that morning, but the only person who seems to mind is an increasingly panicked Kim Cook.
soulgyrl's
The Need To Know or Mulder's Dilemma
Post Three Words Mulder drops in to TLGs, trying to probe them for information; and after a mild conversations, he knows.
Mother Never Told me There'd Be Days Like This
AU-- Pre-Essence Mulder and Scully are on an undercover mission in Target, fruitlessly trying to corral a perpetrator with Doggett and Monica in a comedy of errors. Mulder ends up dragging Scully, and they both just settle for a night in with popcorn.
ophelia_interrupted's (Ao3) Consortium Downsizing (Ao3)
Crack-- The Consortium hate their accountant but still need him to balance their budget. They're completely broke, though, so they force the US to buy cookies.
@ladymegg/LadyMeg's
A Sprinkle of Stardust/Remembered Promises
Mulder and Scully are scared to death in a haunted house; but end their night with a date set.
Realised Desires (Part 2 of Remembered Promises)
Mulder finally swipes Scully's planner and schedules in their date for that evening-- for a breaking and entering... or not.
Leaving the Years Behind
Scully has whined many a time through the years, and Mulder has quietly hustled after her, teasing and doting with lunches and nap times.
piece_of_the_stars's snow day
Mulder and Scully are up late-early, calling each other and reminiscing over Samantha and her snowman Kevin. Mulder offers to introduce Kev to Scully the next day.
missing piece
TINH Scully always thought she'd find Mulder alive or die first-- now she can no longer live in denial and must be ripped open.
liveonthesun's Now She Has No Choice
S8 ISTJ understands Mulder's goldfish while dreaming of him and processing her anger at his absence.
CaptainLyssa's
Mrs. Spooky Mulder - CaptainLyssa - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Scully is fuming-- a conference full of agents are convinced she and Mulder are dating, and his antics do not help at all. Finally, she just lets them say whatever they want; but her vomiting from a stress headache do not help matters. (I end ~Chapter 5... dunno why.)
Casper, Wyoming. - CaptainLyssa - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Post IWTB Mulder moves he and Scully to Casper, Wyoming; and she is furious when she realizes Will lives here as well. He didn't know, all is forgiven, and they end up adopting their own son at last.
Shopping - CaptainLyssa - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
AU Psychic Family-- Scully and her children are observed by a stranger, who can't quite puzzle how her whole family seem to be psychic... but that's ridiculous, isn't it?
Eating Out - CaptainLyssa - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
AU Psychic Family-- Mulder, Scully, and their precocious children are trying to retain a shred of normalcy while having a nice family outing.
simpletumbleweedfarmer's As Long As You're Right Here - simpletumbleweedfarmer - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Requiem Scully as a dream that Mulder had been taken, and cries it out in his motel room. It's, of course, realized soon after.
todaymyheartleapt's Swiss Omega - todaymyheartleapt - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Pre-Vienen Scully wore Mulder's watch while he was gone.
sisterspooky's The Artist Currently Known As Fox Mulder - sisterspooky (Livylovestabler) - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Revival Mulder is happy that he and Scully are in sync, singing a song until she catches on and strikes a deal.
@suitablyaggrieved/ScullyLovesQueequeg's
Day 17 - This Is Going To Hurt - ScullyLovesQueequeg - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Mulder is shot on the job; but he convinces his superiors-- and Scully-- to let him go back and continue to talk down the suspect.
Something's Gotta Give - ScullyLovesQueequeg - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Scully is swamped with Valentine's Day chocolates. Mulder descends into jealousy, stealing her candy here and there.
7. You’ve gone to the bathroom fifty times today.... - Post Tenebras Lux (tumblr.com) Ao3 Day 2 - You've Gone to The Bathroom 50 Times Today - Chapter 1 - ScullyLovesQueequeg - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Post Never Again Mulder can't help but notice that Scully keeps running off to the bathroom, finally following her in and carefully asking her questions. Scully negates his suspicions, telling him her own.
Funeral For A Friend - ScullyLovesQueequeg - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
AU-- Gethsemane Mulder died. Scully attended his funeral.
The Reticulan Roadhouse - ScullyLovesQueequeg - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Post Dreamland II Mulder and Scully eat at the Reticulan Roadhouse, neither of them acknowledging its date-ness even when Mulder gifts his partner a pair of beautiful earrings.
Avoidable Feast - ScullyLovesQueequeg - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Mulder and Scully are dating, and the two's lack of communication almost costs them the first Thanksgiving they wanted to celebrate together.
Day 20 - There's Nothing Wrong With You - ScullyLovesQueequeg - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Scully is surprised that, while melodramatic, Mulder is actually sick; and lures her boyfriend over with a clean house.
Holiday Apologies - ScullyLovesQueequeg - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Post IWTB Mulder slowly readjusts to family holidays, visibly slipping into depression. Bill observes him; and buries the hatchet.
thespookyvariation's Letters - Chapter 1 - thespookyvariation - The X-Files [Archive of Our Own]
Post S9 Mulder and Scully read the letters each other had written during their darkest days-- his loss during her abduction and her fear during her cancer.
Enjoy!
#txf#xfiles#fic#Collector's Edition#xf fanfic#x-files#Fics That Deserve More Comments#Part I#thespookyvariation#suitablyaggrieved#ScullyLovesQueequeg#sisterspooky#simpletumbleweedfarmer#todaymyheartleapt#CaptainLyssa#ThatWALKERKid#piece_of_the_stars#ladymegg#LadyMeg#ophelia_interrupted#soulgyrl#i-turn-to-stare#iturntostare#forgottenwords#AlineLovelace#pir8grl#adamstanheight#Jo_B#agentmulderrp#txcb1013
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HORROR MOVIE RECS
♦ top tier ★ all-time fave
slashers: ♦intruder friday the 13th part 2 sleepaway camp 2 stage fright scream ★♦cold prey (Fritt velt) 1 & 2 texas chainsaw massacre 1 & 2 wrong turn halloween 1 & 2 & H2O A Nightmare on Elm Street 3 Dream Warriors 1987 Child's Play 1 & ♦2 ★♦Curse of Chucky Phantom of the paradise Popcorn 1991 Club Dread My Bloody Valentine 1981 ★♦Society 1989 ♦Psychopath AKA Der Poppen Murders The Funhouse 1981 Peeping Tom happy brithday to me 1981 black christmas ★♦Sceance Maniac (the one with elijah wood) hell fest ♦Just before dawn 1981 Maniac Cop
scifi horror: The Curse of Frankenstein 1957 ♦The Revenge of Frankenstein 1958 ★♦Bride of Frankenstein 1935 ★♦the stuff ★♦the fly 1958 ★♦invasion of the body snatchers 1978 ★♦the thing ♦the faculty ★♦from beyond ★♦re-animator 2 ★♦prince of darkness 1987 Quatermass and the Pit 1967 ♦Pandorum Dr jekyll and sister hyde ★♦the brood ★♦its alive 1974 & it lives again 1978 killer klowns from outer space 1988 Quaatermass and the Pit 1967
hauntings/curses: ★♦burnt offerings 1976 haunting in connecticuit conjuring 1 & 2 insidious 1 & 2 & 3 & 5 ★♦ evil dead 1 & 2 & 2013 final destination 1 & 2 & 5 house (hausu) 1977 Kairo (pulse) 2001 the grudge (japanese & american) ♦ dark water Night of the Demon 1957 ♦The changeling 1980 ★♦The Hole in the Ground 2019 Whispering Corridors
folk horror: midsomar ♦ Viy 1967 ♦ impetigore 2019 ★♦ the wickerman 1973 Burn Witch Burn the medium
catholic horror: ♦ The Devil Rides Out 1968 ★♦ the sentinel 1977 nun II ♦ exorcist III
weirdos: ♦basket case 1 & 2 ♦it follows A dark song ★♦The Perfection The Empty Man ★♦The Skull 1965 Beyond the Black Rainbow dead ringers i, madman 1989 messiah of evil 1973 ★♦The People under the Stairs 1991 ★♦The Reflecting Skin 1990 ★♦Carnival of Souls
zombies: ★♦the video dead dawn of the dead 1978 & 2004 dead and buried i walked with a zombie ♦plague of the zombies The Serpent and the Rainbow
monsters: ★♦Sweetheart 2019 The Gate 1987 The invisible Man 1933 ♦Wishmaster 1997 Warlock ♦the mummy's shroud 1967
vampires: Shadow of the Vampire 2000 ★♦ Martin ★♦Captain Kronos -vampire hunter The Brides of Dracula 1960 ★♦the night stalker & the night strangler salems lot 1 & 2 ★♦son of dracula 1943 subspecies 1 & 2 & 4 from dusk til dawn Vampire Hunter D 1985
werewolves: the howling 1981 ginger snaps the beast must die!
death traps: ★♦The Pit and the Pendulum 1961 saw escape room ★♦Theatre of Blood 1973 The Abominable Dr. Phibes 1971 haunt
found footage: ♦Host 2020 Unfriended 1 & 2 Cloverfield Final Prayer Gonjiam: haunted asylum grave encounters hellhouse LLC ★♦Willow Creek ★♦noroi the curse occult ★♦ghostwatch ♦V/H/S 1 & 2 & viral
★♦ ALL the Amicus horror anthologies are worth watching
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alright, right back at you. top 5 vbros scenes/jokes (hard mode: only from S1 and S2 bc i haven't gotten farther than that yet)
1) I agree with you on the Hand of Osiris joke. Really the entire premise of Escape from the House of Mummies Part II is so silly.
2) MECHA SHIVA
3) Hank: And they kill clean. Dont let dames get in the way.
Brock: Honestly Hank, where do you pick that stuff up? I never see you read.
4) "And for the written portion of the test you drew a man with wings."
Brock: Icarus. So what you mean to tell me, little man, do you don't like Zep?
"My father is Timothy Treister. He spoke of you like a god. And you did not disappoint."
Brock: Oh yeah. I used to babysit you.
5) Helper: *beebs*
Brock: That was beautiful Helper. What was that Shel Silverstein?
*more beebs*
"Well I don't think Maya Angelou was referring to this chick.
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The funniest thing Invader Zim could possibly do is write an episode or a series of episodes that do a whole epic Resisty story arc like everyone always wanted, except 90% of it happens off-screen and what little we do see is just cutaways in the middle of some mundane, inconsequential Zim Eats Waffles-type filler story that takes place entirely on earth unaffected by everything happening in space. Kinda like the Venture Bros episode Escape to the House of Mummies Part II. Like, they already did something kinda like that in The Trial where GIR somehow conquered earth and then got deposed offscreen before Zim got back home, but this would be really trolling the audience by teasing them with these little snippets of what sounds like the coolest thing they'll never see.
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SCIENCE MOST SINISTER: VOLUME II - PART FOUR
The most accurate descriptor for what ensued after Watson woke the other five House members would be uproarious bafflement, perhaps bordering on frantic chaos. Either way, there was rather a bit of shouting involved.
In all the confusion, Gwen ended up being quite forgotten, as she had no one to reunite with. (Actually, now that she felt safe enough to go on brief archeological adventures, having freed herself from her curse, she had seen Newt only a couple of weeks ago while supervising a mummy unwrapping party—but I digress. The point is, her past had already caught up with her.) So she stood off to the side and observed.
Some of the reactions of the House members and the newcomers had been positive; Holmes had appeared uncharacteristically shocked to see his brother, but not unhappy, and Victor had nearly been tackled to the floor by—well, Gwen had not caught his name, but he was the only one of the surprise visitors with his hair tied back.
On the other hand, several of the reactions had been distinctly unpleasant. The Time Traveller had looked downright guilty upon coming face-to-face with the man in the green coat, while Hyde avoided making eye contact with, if she was remembering his story correctly, whom Gwen assumed to be Mr. Utterson and Mr. Poole.
Griffin and the redheaded man were by far the loudest. They were currently engaged in a heated argument, and though Gwen couldn’t see his face, she could tell by his voice that Griffin was seconds away from striking the other man.
She decided then to interfere before the situation escalated. Weaving through the crowd, she climbed up onto the sofa nearest to her, put two fingers to her mouth, and let out a piercing whistle. “SHUT UP, ALL OF YOU!” she shouted at the top of her lungs.
The study became deathly silent. She stepped down from the sofa and stood with her hands on her hips. “If somebody would be so kind as to give us an explanation, we would be grateful,” she said.
The man she thought might be Utterson cleared his throat. “My apologies,” he said; and then paused, as though waiting to hear her name.
“Dr. Guinevere Crowley.”
“Thank you, Dr. Crowley. In short, we—the Society of Themis—was founded on the hope that, one day, we may discover what really happened to all of you, if anything. Most of you disappeared without explanation, and left behind more questions than answers.
“That being said, now that we know that all of you are alive, we would like an explanation as to how you managed it. Mr. Hyde has already told us his story.”
Unsure of what to do, the House members looked at each other, each of them waiting for the other to speak first. Finally, Holmes sighed resignedly and hung his head.
“I suppose you deserve to know the truth,” he said. “After I returned from where I had been laying low after my apparent death, Watson and I were approached by Van Helsing. He told us about the House, stating that having a private detective and a doctor as two of its members could be beneficial. I . . . was so intrigued by his offer that I wasn’t thinking of the consequences of my actions.” He raised his head to meet his brother’s eyes. “I am deeply sorry, Mycroft.”
“As am I,” said Watson, guilt painted clear across his face.
Mycroft’s mouth hardened into a thin line. Then, his expression softened. “Frankly, I am still angry with you, Sherlock. But I forgive you,” he added, making Holmes’s eyes brighten.
One by one, each of the House members told the truth of how they had found themselves on the House’s doorstep. Griffin, while Kemp had gone to fetch a doctor to heal his wounds inflicted by the mob that attacked him, had escaped town and sent a letter to Van Helsing, his old college professor, asking for help. The manor belonging to the House had been bought, and Griffin had been given enough provisions to last him several months.
Victor came next. As soon as Walton’s ship docked in London and the captain had turned his back, Victor had slipped away, fearful of accidentally hurting another by getting close to him. In an illness-induced daze, he eventually ran into Van Helsing, who had taken him to live with Griffin.
After Victor came Jekyll and Hyde, and then the Time Traveller joined. Griffin had overheard Edmund and several of their friends discussing the time machine in hushed tones at a restaurant, and immediately went off to find the Time Traveller. It took a surprisingly little amount of convincing to persuade him to join the House, and the next day, he and his time machine were on their way to the ancient manor.
Once the Time Traveller had finished, Walton turned to Gwen and asked, “What about you?”
She blinked. “You wish to hear my story? But—but it isn’t very relevant to your mission. Why?”
He smiled. “Pure curiosity.”
She sucked in a breath. “Alright. Er, well, I used to live in the United States before coming to England. Van Helsing found me struggling to pay rent in Cambridge, secured me a position in the archeology business—I am an archeologist and Egyptologist—and allowed me to join the House and live here,” she stated simply. There was no point in disclosing any more than she needed to.
Walton looked like he wished to ask more, but Griffin interrupted him. “Have our answers satisfied you all?” he asked snappishly.
There was a pause. “They have . . .” Kemp said, speaking carefully, in the same manner one would when talking to a wild animal with its hackles raised. “But I confess, we had an ulterior motive for seeking you out.”
Griffin barked out a laugh that made Gwen startle. “HA! I knew it! You would never look for me on completely innocent terms, Kemp. Not after what you did to me.”
Kemp glared at him. “Would you listen to me instead of leaping to conclusions?”
“Well, go on, then. What is it you want? My and Hyde’s arrests? To spill the House’s secrets to the public?” Griffin continued, obviously not listening.
“Here!” Kemp fumbled a folded newspaper page from his pocket and thrust it at the empty air where Griffin’s voice emitted from. “Read this, and see if you can figure out why we have come here!”
The House crowded around the newspaper. Griffin unfolded it, revealing the front page, which bore the shocking headline for all to see: Invisible Menace at Large: Constabulary Left Baffled
The study fell so quiet, one could have heard a pen drop. Gwen’s eyes darted across the headline, lingering on each word to make sure she was reading them correctly.
When Griffin spoke again, his voice was quiet. “Kemp,” he whispered, “I haven’t left this house in almost a year. This . . . this is not me.”
#science most sinister#guinevere crowley#gwen crowley#dr jekyll and mr hyde#the strange case of dr. jekyll and mr. hyde#mr hyde#the invisible man#griffin the invisible man#acd sherlock holmes#acd holmes#mycroft holmes#acd watson#dr watson#gabriel utterson#gabriel john utterson#arthur kemp#dr kemp#the time machine#the time traveller#edmund seawright#victor frankenstein#frankenstein#frankenstein or the modern prometheus#robert walton#alfred poole#mr poole#gothic literature#classic literature#classic lit#gothic lit
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#venture bros#Pete White#billy quizboy#rusty venture#Escape to the House of Mummies Part II#season 2
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The Venture Bros. #19: “Escape to the House of Mummies Part II” | July 16, 2006 - 10:30PM | S02E04
A little while back I covered an episode of Minoriteam that did a similar gag by presenting the second part, but not the first part, of a fictional two-parter. I would plainly assume parallel thought was the culprit here; The Venture Bros.' production schedule is probably more grueling and much longer than that of Minoriteam's. Just like Man-Thing and Swamp Thing were both created in each other's lead-times, making it impossible to tell which truly came first on a conceptual level. But when it's all said and done, it just takes one smarty pants to point out that The Heap came before either of them.
In this episode there are roughly three stories going on. The least important one is the supposed second part of the “Escape to the House of Mummies”, a ripping yarn about Brock, the boys, and various historical figures flirting with some ancient Egyptian curse and attempting to time travel their way out of it. Meanwhile, Rusty wagers with Dr. Orpheus that he can create a shrink ray before Orpheus can figure out a way to harness magic to accomplish the same task. So the majority of the show is just Doc hanging out with Peter White and Billy Quizboy trying to get Dr. Venture Sr.'s busted work-in-progress shrink ray to work while Orpheus hangs out with H. Jon Benjamin as the voice of a magic dog, while they glumly contemplate life.
It sounds slight, and it sorta is. This episode is pretty unimportant in the grand scheme of things, but it's really funny and a good character piece for all involved. We also do a little bit of lore building: playing with the concept that the Venture Bros. TV show that we ourselves are watching is only a fragment of the adventures these characters get up to (hence us only seeing part 2 of this multi-part episode). It also deals with the idea of Dr. Venture being a boy adventurer with his own fanbase; we see Billy's old Rusty Venture lunchbox; the first inkling that Rusty didn't just have a Jonny Quest childhood but also the same level of celebrity and fandom as he did. Also, this episode could be seen as a meta-commentary on the series becoming more serialized and less standalone. Like how the first episode of season two featured a scene with 21 & 24 that only served to queue up their scene in episode two, this one resembles a show with overlapping serialized narratives. Certain episodes would actually be as confusing as this one would be if you weren't clued into the false installment gag.
But please know that this show truly is at it's best when the characters are just hanging out doing stupid shit or just having conversations. By intentionally disregarding the “main” Egyptian curse story this episode lets itself do exactly that. Not every episode has the luxury; certain action-packed episodes wind up getting gutted of those nice character moments. That’s why this episode is great.
MAIL BAG
Not only is Tom Kenny cozy with Bob from their time on Mr. Show, but in the 80s he use to be in a comedy duo with Bobcat Goldthwait called themselves Tomcat and Bobcat. Bobcat went on to do movies and be a minor star/director in his own right but Tom got the last laugh when he was picked to voice Spongebob Squarepants, who is as famous as Mickey Mouse was in the 50s. Pretty cool, he must have a lot of money. Imagine if Mr. Floppy had that kind of appeal?
Tom... CAT? Bob...CAT? Tom... Goes to the Mayor? Bob... Odenkirk? Why is Bobcat Goldthwait not appeared in a single thing with Tim Heidecker? I just checked on IMDB. Hell, him and Bob have barely crossed paths. Why is Bobcat such an outlier? What did those men do to him? It’s a question worth asking... don’t you think?
Never seen Pee-Wee myself. Missed be by about ten years I guess. He always seemed weird but I didn't know about the jack off stuff until recently. Yeah, it's whatever that he did that, but he can't be surprised they didn't let him voice Face on Nick Jr. after that. They should have, but you know, the way the world works. Bye.
They let that loudmouth who calls Denis Leary an asshole be Face... let that stink in. Also: when I was little some kid at school insisted that Pee-wee defiantly had sex with a dog while police were chasing him out of the theater. I don’t think it’s true!
My assessment with Pee-Wee on Adult Swim is pretty much the same: the show bizarrely fits so seamlessly with the type of content Adult Swim airs that I don't mind that they aired it. It might have been a kid's show but I'd rather it air on Adult Swim and not on Cartoon Network at 6am or something.
I actually remembered Kim Manning on an Adult Swim stream and she was talking about how putting Pee-wee on was her idea, but she sorta brushed it off as a failure. The right people got it! WE ARE RIGHT
Think of the current cultural temperature (and honestly a lot of it comes from this very website) Pee Wee wouldn't have lasted a week in it. He would have been accused of being a groomer at first blush. I mean I guess he more or less stopped worked after the rap he got in the early 90s, but you wouldn't have even needed that now. And you certainly wouldn't have gotten no Pee Wee's Big Holiday later. Did you like Big Holiday btw?
(begins sweating) uh...
youshowrespectevenifyoudisagree writes:
Tom goes to the mayor? More like … Tom KENNY goes to the mayor! Lol
THANK YOU!!!!! I was getting pretty pissed off that nobody else was saying this!
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The Ultimate Ducktales Rewatch
It’s exactly what it says on the title. I have planned for myself, the ultimate, character-based Ducktales rewatch. I went through all the seasons of Ducktales, looking at which episodes and characters I wanted a rewatch to focus on, and I have organized all of the episodes into sections based on character and then organized those sections based on how I want to watch them. Be warned this list is heavily personalized due to the characters and episodes I love and what I am looking for from a Ducktales rewatch. Without any further ado, let me present to you, The Ultimate Ducktales Rewatch, CitadelSpires Edition! Beginning!(Webby!): Woo-oo! Escape To/From Atlantis! Daytrip of Doom!
Darkwing Duck!: The Duck Knight Returns! Let's Get Dangerous!
Lena!: The Beagle Birthday Massacre! Terror of the Terra-Firmians! Jaw$! The Other Bin of Scrooge McDuck! ~break for The Last Crash of the Sunchaser!~ The Shadow War Part I: The Night of DeSpell! The Shadow War Part II: The Day of the Ducks! Friendship Hates Magic! A Nightmare on Killmotor Hill! Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks!(yes I put this in here cause her relationhsip with Violet what of it) The Phantom and the Sorceress! The Split Sword of Swanstantine!
Fenton/Gandra!: Beware the B.U.D.D.Y. System! Who Is Gizmoduck?! The Dangerous Chemistry of Gandra Dee! Astro B.O.Y.D. Beaks in the Shell!
Donald!: The First Adventure! Last Christmas! The House of the Lucky Gander! The Town Where Everyone Was Nice! What Ever Happened to Donald Duck?! Quack Pack! Louie's Eleven! New Gods on the Block!
Penny!: What Ever Happened to Della Duck?! The Golden Spear! What Ever Happened to Donald Duck?! Moonvasion! Part I Moonvasion Part II They Put A Moonlander on the Earth!
Goldie!: The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains! The Outlaw Scrooge McDuck! Happy Birthday Doofus Drake! The Forbidden Fountain of the Foreverglades!
Glomgold!: Escape to/from Atlantis! The Infernal Internship of Mark Beaks! McMystery at McDuck McManor! The Missing Links of Moorshire! The Golden Lagoon of White Agony Plains! The Ballad of Duke Baloney! GlomTales! They Put a Moonlander on the Earth!
Huey!: The Depths of Cousin Fethry! Challenge of the Senior Junior Woodchucks! Beaks in the Shell!
Launchpad!: Beware the B.U.D.D.Y. System! The Duck Knight Returns! Let's Get Dangerous! Double-O-Duck in You Only Crash Twice!
Louie!: The Great Dime Chase! The House of the Lucky Gander! The Living Mummies of Toth-Ra! Day of the Only Child! The Secret(s) of Castle McDuck! The Most Dangerous Game...Night! Storkules in Duckburg! Happy Birthday Doofus Drake! Timephoon! Glomtales! The Richest Duck in the World! The Lost Harp of Mervana! Louie's Eleven! The Rumble for Ragnarok! The Trickening! Escape from the Impossibin! The Split Sword of Swanstantine! The Life and Crimes of Scrooge McDuck!
Finale!: The Last Adventure!
#Ducktales#Ducktales 2017#Ducktales Rewatch#Yes I put a lot of thought into this#can y'all tell Louie is my favorite?#because he is#and I love him#I would have also included a list for Gyro if it wouldn't have just been Fentons again but with a few less#also apologies to the episodes I left out#there's no such thing as a bad Ducktales episode#but let's be honest I've already watched all of the Ducktales episodes several times and some of them I'm fine with leaving out of this
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Smoke and Mirrors
Chapter 5: Andromeda II - Wotcher! (link to fully story on FF.net)
Featuring: Andromeda Tonks, Teddy Lupin, Bobby Tonks.
Word Count: 2.4K words
Warnings: References to Alzheimer's
Andromeda shuffled down the street with Teddy as quickly as she could.
It had started spitting, which was something she hadn’t counted on when she’d left the house just ten minutes ago. It looked like it was going to be a nice spring day, with the sun shining and barely a cloud in the sky, but then the sun had cowered behind one of those clouds and now it looked as though the heavens may open.
This was the trouble with travelling the muggle way. You didn’t have to worry about taking an extra coat or umbrella if you were using the Floo network or apparating. Andromeda couldn’t fathom how the muggles managed to cope with the unpredictability of the weather. You’d probably be alright if you lived in a place that was perpetually cold or hot, but not in Britain where the weather seemed to change on a complete whim whenever it fancied it.
Andromeda couldn’t see much of the pavement that she was walking on as Teddy was held tight to her waist in his blue baby sling, which meant he took up most of her peripheral vision. This was a particularly large risk as they were walking the streets of Fratton, which quite possibly has the largest ratio of dog-shit to pavement in all of England.
If avoiding dog-poo wasn’t enough of a challenge in itself – Andromeda also had to navigate the absolutely bewildering road system. There were some stretches of pavement on the way to Fratton Station where when crossing a road, or merely just from pavement to pavement - you would have four different directions of oncoming traffic potentially coming at you!
Andromeda struggled to understand the way muggle roads worked at the best of times, but Portsmouth was by far and away the most difficult. Ted had always said that if you could learn to drive in Fratton you could work out how to drive anywhere. Nymphadora had never had the patience for it and had much preferred apparating everywhere once she was of age.
Andromeda caught a slight glimpse of the train approaching in the distance. The platform was pretty busy with lots of families bustling here, there and everywhere. The red and blue train sauntering into the station almost resembled a sliced-open Battenberg, with the front of it dead flat and the rest of it sort of curving out.
Ted always said the modern electric locomotive trains were a wonderful feat of British engineering, but looking at the industrial, ugly train as it approached the platform – well, it certainly lacked the glamour and pizzazz of the Hogwarts Express.
The journey that they’d be taking would probably take them the best part of four hours, with their initial train to Waterloo clocking in half of that time. There was something about being on muggle trains that Andromeda found quite relaxing and enjoyable, perhaps it was just the nostalgia of those long journeys to school when she was younger.
In truth, Andromeda was just glad to be out of the house. It was a chance to get some fresh air and to be around lots of people, even if those people were only there for a passing moment. She’d been cooped up in that house for almost a year in hiding and barely seen more than a handful of people in that time – and half of the people she had seen had been there solely to torture her.
The time on the London bound train flew by and before she knew it they’d gone right through the Hampshire countryside and into Guildford, before eventually docking into Waterloo. The station was absolutely heaving with people and Andromeda struggled to work out where exactly they were meant to be going, but eventually a kind station guard directed her to the Jubilee underground line, which would take them to West Ham where they could make their connecting train.
It wasn’t her first foray on the London underground as she’d travelled on it many times with her late husband, but it was her first time along and she felt quite uncomfortable. The tube was jam-packed with foreign tourists and Andromeda could barely even fit on the carriage when she first got on.
The one silver lining of travelling with Teddy was that almost immediately a tall, bald man wearing a white t-shirt that read “ATLANTA 96” offered his seat to her. Andromeda thanked the man and noticed that the 5 multi-coloured rings on his shirt very much looked like Quidditch hoops, but she quickly learned that he was definitely a muggle when she saw him reach for his portable telephone and start talking into it.
It took a lot of sweat and a few tears from Teddy, but it wasn’t too long before they found themselves on the C2C train heading to Southend. Andromeda was very thankful when a dark skinned man offered up his seat to her and she stared out of the window as the train departed the East-London platform. It had been an early start for the both of them and Teddy soon nodded off in her lap – and it wasn’t long before Andromeda herself followed suit.
~ ~ ~
Andromeda’s eyes shot open as Ted’s cry gradually shifted into that of her grandson’s. She looked down into her lap and saw little Teddy’s tears dry up slightly when he noticed that she was awake again.
She shifted uncomfortably on her seat and as she saw the sea outside her window noted that they were almost there now. Andromeda felt her bum and back ache a little as she moved. Their carriage was now virtually empty, with only a mother and small son a few seats down and a greasy looking teenager in the corner for company.
The lad in the corner had short, spikey gelled hair and was wearing a black t-shirt with ‘Austin 3:16’ in block caps on it. Andromeda assumed his t-shirt must be some sort of religious reference – he didn’t particularly personify what she’d come to think of as the Christian-type, but she still struggled to get her head around muggle customs despite being married to Ted for the best part of 25 years.
The little boy a few seats down was fully engrossed in playing with his spaceman plastic action-figure, whilst his Mother read a book called Bridget Jones. This thankfully left Andromeda free to daydream outside the window as she stared into the sea and Teddy rested his eyes again in her lap.
This is the LTS Rail Service to Shoeburyness. The next station is… Westcliff. Please ensure you take all of your belongings with you when alighting the train.
“That’s our stop Mummy, isn’t it?!”
“No, no, Harry, Southend is one more after this one sweetheart”
Andromeda couldn’t stop herself looking over at the excited little muggle boy and his mother a few seats down from them.
“Mummy?! Mummy?!”
“Yes, Harry?”
“Are me and Buzz allowed to get some sweets when we’re out in town? We promise we’ll be good!”
“What do you say, Harry?”
“PLEASE!”
“That’s better! Now if you promise you’ll be a good little boy and are on your best behaviour whilst Mummy gets her eyes tested and pops into Boots for her prescription, then I’ll let you get some pick and mix in Woolies.”
“YAY!! Thanks Mummy! You’re the best!”
Andromeda almost allowed a slight smile to escape her permanent poker face. It did warm her heart to see the little boy’s face filled with such joy as he embraced his mother, but unfortunately it also served to remind her that Teddy would never experience such joy with his own mother, which made her feel very dejected as she glanced down at him.
She supposed at least in his Godfather he would have a positive male role model – and someone who actually understood what it was like to have no parents.
~ ~ ~
Teddy stirred slightly at the sound of the seagulls scuffling over some discarded vinegar-soaked chips on the pavement. The sudden movement from her grandson caught Andromeda by surprise and she instinctively reached out to grab him, forgetting that he was tightly secured in the muggle baby-carrier that Ted had originally bought for Nymphadora.
The mini panic caused her to momentarily stop in her stride, but Teddy didn’t notice as he was already back to sleep. He wasn’t as light as he once was. It was only really that he’d been such a tiny new-born to begin with that meant she was still able to carry him when walking in the first place.
Andromeda found the turning she was looking for and headed down it. Their destination wasn’t far now and she’d soon be able to have a nice sit down and a cup of tea. She saw the giant cherry tree in the distance and headed towards it, quickening her stride and walking into the road momentarily to avoid the litter on the pavement.
It looked like a fox had a fight with a black sack full of rubbish the night before – and the fox had won, quite comfortably, as the street was littered with empty juice cartons, crisp packets and banana skins. The middle aged-witch had to double take, as she could’ve sworn that one of the crisp packets proclaimed to contain Vanilla Ice Cream flavour crisps. It must be a strange muggle thing, she thought.
The tree came fully into view and shaded them from the sun, as Andromeda walked up the path towards the big red front door of Stapleton House. She pulled the door-knocker back a few times and after a few moments the door made a buzzing noise, indicating it was now unlocked.
A slightly tanned lady with a friendly smile on her face greeted them at the door.
“Oh hello,” she said in that very distinctive voice adults only ever use when talking to babies. “And what lucky person are you here to see today?” she asked Teddy warmly, although of course she was really addressing Andromeda.
“Robert Tonks,” Andromeda said.
“Robert Tonks…err… Robert… OH! You mean Bobby!”
“Yes.”
“Oh that’s fantastic! It’s been a little while since he’s had any visitors. I’m sure it will make his day to see you both. He’s down in room 14. Follow the hallway all the way down, take the first left, then right and he’ll be in the room next to the garden.”
“Thank you,” Andromeda replied courteously, not wanting to make too much of an impression on the nurse in-case she started asking any questions.
Andromeda opened the door to room 14 and saw Robert Tonks sitting in a brown armchair facing away from the door. He was staring at the television that was bizarrely not actually showing anything on it at all. It was just a black screen, with lots of yellow and blue writing on it.
She looked over at his bed frame which read:
ROBERT “BOBBY” TONKS.
ALZHEIMER’S.
DOUBLE INCONTINENT.
“Hello Robert,” Andromeda said warmly. The elderly man, now in his 70s with not a spot of hair on his head turned around instantly and looked at her curiously through his glasses.
“Hello,” he said blankly. “Who are you?”
“It’s me, Robert, Andromeda. Ted’s wife,” she said calmly. He had been losing his memory for the best part of three years now, so she was used to having to be patient with him.
“Andromeda…Ted’s wife… Ted. Ted…” he pondered to himself. It was evident that he was trying very hard, but could not quite put it together in his mind.
“Your son, Ted,” she prompted.
“My son…Ted…Ted…Ted! My son Ted! Yes. Yes of course. Chip off the old block, just like his old man. Kind and loving like his mother, too. Are they here too? Ted and Agata”
“No… no not today Robert. They’re busy today, but I am sure they’ll be here tomorrow,” she lied.
It was much easier that way.
Ted’s mother had died of cancer about five years ago, long before Robert had started losing his memory and had to be put in a care home. But he often forgot. The first few times her and Ted had taken the painstaking trouble of telling him that she wouldn’t be visiting him that day, or ever again, because she was dead – and it was horrible. It was like he had to go through the whole grieving process all over again.
The least they could do was spare him from that, although now it wasn’t just Agata who was dead. It was his son and granddaughter too. But Andromeda had barely been able to grieve properly for either of them herself yet. She was hardly about to stroll on in and announce to him that they were dead.
“Oh. Well, at least you made the trip ehh, Andromeda? And wow… my goodness. Is that? Is that little Nymphadora? Haven’t you grown sweetheart?” he said in amazement at Teddy.
“No, Robert. This is Nymphadora’s son, Teddy. He’s your great-grandson,” she said smiling and lifting Teddy up and taking him over to meet Robert.
“Great? Great-grandson?” Robert uttered in disbelief, as he took Teddy into his arms.
“You see that, lad,” he said, pointing to the television screen with lots of writing on it. “That’s the Premier League table. The 20 best football teams in England play each other twice, then whoever gets the most points at the end wins the title. And look at that. It’s the last day of the season and look who sits at the top…The Arsenal! That crazy French fella Arsene Wenger has only gone and won it for us hasn’t he?!”
“I said to Ted we were mad to hire him. Should have gone for Johan Cruyff. But look at that – he was right. Said all along Wenger would win us the league!” Robert mused to nobody in particular.
Andromeda was always amazed at how no matter how badly Robert’s memory deteriorated – he would never forget anything to do with football, or conversations he’d had with Ted in relation to it.
Robert suddenly looked over at Andromeda in slight panic and fear. He ushered for her so he could hand Teddy back.
“Are you okay, Robert?” she asked worriedly.
His face was fluxed with shame and anguish.
“I’m sorry Andromeda. I think you’ll have to call for a nurse…I’ve messed myself.”
#hpfanfiction#hp fanfic#hpff#hpf#hp#harry potter#harry potter fanfiction#harrypotter#ted x andromeda#andromeda tonks#andromeda#andromeda black#teddy tonks#teddy lupin#teddylupin#southend#toy story#toystory#ted tonks#tonks fanfic#tonks#tonks family#dora tonks#nymphadora tonks
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Remnants, Part X
Closing Note: Well, kids. Saddle up because this monster has a word count of over 12k. I want to thank you for taking this journey with me, and I hope you have enjoyed reading this version of Ahkmenrah as much as I’ve enjoyed writing him.
Part I, Part II, Part III, Part IV, Part V, Part VI, Part VII, Part VIII, Part IX
Story Summary: You are in the midst of formulating your dissertation, but you’ve hit a wall. Your doting aunt, Rebecca, has a solution that brings you face to face with Ahkmenrah, Fourth King of the Fourth King. As the connection between you and Ahkmenrah grows, and as the secrets of his ancient tablet unlock, the once-king will find himself faced with a difficult choice.
Tag List: @kitkatcronch @kpopperotp12 @seafrost-fangirl @sassystrawberryk @perfect-rami @txmel @limabein @rami-malek-trash @underworldsheiress and @sherlollydramoine
Thank you for reading, liking, reblogging, and leaving comments that kept me motivated!
Warnings: Little bit of swearing
Reading Note: 20--* = Borrowing from the writers of old, I left the exact year blank to let the story feel a little more timeless.
Larry was en route to the British Natural History Museum where you were waiting to meet him in Merenkahre’s and Shepseheret’s exhibit. According to the American museum, Ahkmenrah and his tablet would arrive the following day.
It took a bit of convincing to get them to ship Ahkmenrah early, but you insisted you only needed the sarcophagus and the tablet. The rest of his display could be shipped later at the arranged date. Larry explained to Ahkmenrah that there were experts at the British museum who could help with his tablet. Considering the relationship Ahk had with Jack, he readily agreed to return to England.
To pass the time while you waited for Larry, you fussed about, dusting even though the exhibits were spotless, and adjusting artifacts, some real and some recreated from your trips into Ahkmenrah’s memories.
Another thing you did to prepare for the awakening of Ahkmenrah’s parents was to write a letter in ancient Egyptian that would clarify what had just happened to them. Although your ability to speak their language was improving, it was nowhere near fluent enough to explain the urgency of Ahkmenrah’s situation.
The vibration of your phone pulled you away from your unnecessary tidying. Larry texted to say he was in the lobby; you had left specific instructions with the night guard, Tilly, to let Larry in, no matter what time he arrived.
Rather than wait on the elevator, you took the stairs two by two, both excited to see Larry and nervous to hear more about Ahk. When you entered the lobby just a little out of breath, Tilly and Larry were deep in conversation about their respective flashlights. You laughed aloud at the fact that Larry had brought his along.
Your laughter caused them to look up and Larry opened his arms to wrap you in a strong hug.
“I missed you, kiddo.”
“Me too, Lar,” you said, returning his smile. “Thanks, Tilly. We’ll be sure to let you know when we leave.”
You took the elevator up to Ahkmenrah’s parents’ exhibit.
When you entered the Egyptian wing, Larry let out a low whistle of appreciation as he took in each exhibit, including Ahkmenrah’s future room.
“Wow! This makes me feel bad all Ahk has in America is a dark room with a couple of hieroglyph walls and two giant guard dogs. This will be a real step up!”
“How is he?”
Larry shifted his gaze away from the fountain taps of the bath, and you could see the worry lines that had settled on his forehead.
“He’s getting worse. As of two nights ago, the tablet was visibly corroded.”
“How could this have happened? It’s existed in perfect condition for 4,000 years—over 4,000. It’s made of solid gold for Christ’s sake!”
“No one has any idea, least of all Ahk. He’s . . . angry, irritable. Not like himself at all.”
You frowned and looked at the ground, unwilling to meet Larry’s eye.
“Don’t, Y/N. It’s got nothing to do with you.”
“Maybe it does, though. Maybe I did something to it the last night we used it. This could be all my fault,” you said, crossing your arms and looking over Larry’s shoulder at the doorway that connected to Shepseheret’s exhibit, the peace of her garden a slap in the face to your churning guilt.
“What last night? What are you talking about?”
“The last thing Ahkmenrah asked of me was to return with him to the night he died. We saw him murdered by his brother. It was . . . I don’t even have a word. Worse than horrible. Ahk was in shock, so I had to use the tablet to escape his memory. Maybe my use of it did something.”
Larry was quiet for a bit while he worked through what you said.
“That was, what? Over a year and a half ago?”
You nodded.
“The tablet was fine until just a month ago. Besides, Rebecca’s used it. I’ve used it. Even Nick’s used it.”
You raised your eyebrows and asked, “Exactly what’s been going on at the museum, Larry?”
Larry laughed nervously, a slight blush coloring his cheeks as he ran his hand through his dark hair.
“You know this gig isn’t easy. Sometimes, the exhibits get a bit restless, things get out of hand, elephants end up in Central Park, Custer recreates his last stand in Rockefeller Center, you know, typical museum shenanigans,” Larry finished, his foot tapping a nervous staccato on the floor as he hands settled on his hips.
You stared, slowly processing the strain of being a night guard in a museum where the exhibits come to life, a strain Larry had certainly done his best to keep hidden for the past few years.
“If you can handle all of that, Lar, you’re going to make an excellent teacher.”
Larry smiled that cute, crooked smile of his.
“Thanks. I sure hope so, but I have to admit I’m glad I don’t have to handle this one on my own. If something happens to Ahk—”
“It won’t,” you stated with a finality that hid your desperation.
Larry nodded, encouraged by your strong statement.
“Letting you go . . . it wasn’t easy for him, Y/N. I hope you know that.”
“I do. Doesn’t mean I like it any better now than I did then, but what is a girl in love to do?”
“Find his mummified parents, painstakingly rebuild pieces of their lives, and arrange an it’s been a long time, oh, say 4,000 years comin’ reunion?”
You laughed, at first, and then fell into Larry’s arms as the tears came. You gripped the front of his coat, and felt like an idiot, laughing and crying, but it also felt damn good to say aloud that you were still in love with Ahkmenrah.
Larry smoothed your hair and kept muttering that it was okay until you composed yourself.
Embarrassed by your spontaneous overflow of emotion, you stepped back and wiped away your tears, sniffing loudly before declaring, “I’m fine—really I am. I just had this all planned out, you know. Things were going according to plan and I needed that. Really, really needed that focus to keep me from thinking about him—about us.”
Larry smiled and shook his head. “Love’s like that. It enjoys laughing in the face of your carefully laid plans even more than god himself does.”
You narrowed your eyes, something deep in your mind struggling to make a connection.
“Love. That tablet—it was birthed from an act of pure love. It only makes sense that love will be able to restore it . . . or at least lead us to the right answer.”
On your way out of the exhibit, you stopped at Merenkahre’s coffin and laid your hand on top of it.
“Please help the son you loved so much,” you whispered.
* * * * *
The following cold, February afternoon, you and Larry met the delivery truck that housed Ahkmenrah and his tablet. You couldn’t help but to just stare as they unloaded the pine crate, a seemingly ordinary box that you knew contained the extraordinary. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. You had no idea if it was just your imagination, but you thought you could feel his presence.
“Miss?”
“Hmm?” you answered as the deliverers scuttled back into the truck, their breath visible as they aligned two more similar, large crates with the tines of the forklift. “I’m sorry—what was it you asked?”
“I need a signature from the director of the museum or from the curator.”
You shook your head, took the proffered clipboard, and promised the man you’d be right back.
The British museum’s director was a woman by the name of Anastasia Waterhouse; she had been the director for the last twenty years and was damn near old enough to be an exhibit in the museum herself. She held more than one PhD and was one of the most knowledgeable people you had ever met. Dr. Waterhouse was also damn good at her job. She was the one who had negotiated for Merenkahre’s family’s exhibit, promising to relinquish the rights to all three mummies to Cairo once the exhibit spent a suitable time at the British museum.
She also hadn’t fussed when you exploded into her office, begging to bring the Ahkmenrah exhibit over immediately. You explained that something had happened to the tablet and the restorers in the British museum had far more experience with Egyptian relics than the Americans, so it was only logical that Ahkmenrah was brought here now so your entire life wasn’t ruined by being unable to display the famed Tablet of Ahkmenrah.
In typical Dr. Waterhouse fashion, she needed only to raise her weathered hand and your babbling came to an immediate cease. She told you exactly what needed to be done and that was that.
Rather than blow the old wooden door off the hinges again, this time, you politely told Dr. Waterhouse’s secretary you needed a signature and waited for her to clear you to go into the office.
After Dr. Waterhouse signed the delivery slip, she said she would head down to the storage area as she was most excited to see the famed tablet in person, not to mention Ahkmenrah’s ornate sarcophagus.
You rushed back to return the slip to the delivery man, and as soon as the back door on the truck was latched, Larry started a bumbling speech that included wild gesticulations in an attempt to bring your attention to the other two crates.
“No. No way—you mean to say those are not Ahk’s?”
Larry shook his head.
Fuck—you grabbed one of the crow bars that was hanging with the other tools on the pegboard and started prying open the crate closest to the loading bay. Sure enough, it was Teddy on his horse along with Atilla. You were certain that a little cowboy and his Roman friend were also buried in the packing straw.
“I’m not even going to attempt to open the other crate. The museum director is going to be here any minute to see Ahk’s crate. You have to stall her while I grab the forklift and hide these other two crates.”
“Wait—which one is Ahk’s crate?”
“Shit—open them and find out,” you said as you handed Larry the crowbar and hurried off in the direction of the forklift.
“Wait! What am I supposed to say? I don’t even know what she looks like! I’m not even British!”
“Can you drive a forklift?” you shouted over your shoulder as you jogged toward the ramp.
“Damnit,” Larry muttered before shoving the crowbar into the second crate.
You ran down the ramp of the loading dock to where one of the deliverers had parked the museum’s forklift. It was wedged into a corner, but its bright aqua coloring made it easy to see straightaway.
The keys were almost always left in the machine because the storage area was one of the most secure sites in the museum. But of course, today, the key was nowhere to be found—the deliverers must have returned it to the office. You slammed your hands against the wheel in frustration and climbed back out, your feet thudding on the concrete. You ran back up the loading dock and into the small office that housed more tools, delivery paperwork, and an ancient computer that checked artifacts in and out.
Hanging on the wall along with several other sets of keys was the forklift key—or at least what you hoped was the right key. You glanced at the logo etched into the key and it said “MITSUB.” As far as you knew, nothing else around the loading dock was of the Mitsubishi brand.
You ran back to the forklift and shoved the key in the ignition, uttering a nervous, crazy little laugh when the ignition sputtered before kicking on. You revved the engine and quickly backed out of the corner, silently thanking your own tenacity for always wanting to do things yourself. When you worked all hours of the night, you needed to know how to do every job in the museum.
As you approached the crates, Larry shouted and pointed to the box furthest from the dock: “This is Ahk!”
You gave him a thumb’s up and then furiously waved him in the direction of the door.
“Distract her!”
Larry took off as you maneuvered the forklift to quickly pick up the first box and scoot it back into the dark corner of the first aisle. The storage room was a massive maze of towering steel aisles that held thousands of artifacts of all shapes and sizes.
You almost did something really stupid by placing the second, unopened box on top of the other before you realized the panic that would ensue when the exhibits came to life. Instead, you backed out of the first aisle and dropped the box off at the back of the second aisle.
Just as you were driving back to head down the ramp, Larry and Dr. Waterhouse entered the loading bay, Larry cackling like a madman and talking her ear off.
You wheeled around and slid the prongs of the forklift under Ahk’s crate. You cut the engine, then jumped out to greet Dr. Waterhouse.
“Mr. Daley. For the last time, this is MY museum. I do not need a lecture about the proper care of any of its antiquities! I also have no interest in purchasing in American-made flashlight. The flashlights we have here are more than suitable.”
“I apologize, Dr. Waterhouse. This is my uncle-to-be, Larry Daley. He’s been working with Ahkmenrah for the past few years and feels rather attached to him. He also, clearly, believes in the versatility of well-made flashlights,” you finished lamely as you shot Larry a “what-the-fuck” look.
Dr. Waterhouse softened; first, she understood what it was like to get attached to a piece of history. Second, she was delighted to meet a familial relation, considering you were rather reserved about your personal life.
“Well, it is a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Daley. Perhaps you should have opened by explaining your relationship to one of the best anthropologists with whom I have had the pleasure to work.”
“That would have been . . . better,” Larry agreed, grimacing a bit.
“I was just getting ready to take Ahk’s—Ahkmenrah’s sarcophagus into the transition room. Better lightening there, of course.”
“Most excellent—carry on. I cannot wait to behold the famed tablet with my own eyes!”
Dr. Waterhouse walked off in the direction of the transition room, stopping to press the button that opened the garage-style door so the forklift could drop off the crate.
“She wasn’t exactly impressed with me, but I see the other crates are gone.”
“She doesn’t impress easily. And yeah, by an actual millisecond. The bloody key wasn’t in the machine!”
Larry chuckled as he said in a horrible British accent, “Righty-oh, miss. I see you’re pickin’ up on the language of the land, ya!”
You blinked several times before sighing, “That was about five accents rolled into one, so I don’t wanna hear it. Come on—make sure Ahk’s crate is secure before I move it into the transition room.”
You climbed back into the forklift and cautiously loaded the crate. Larry checked that it was securely tucked up against the back of the forks and you lifted it a few inches. Maneuvering into the transition room could be a bit tricky, so you drove slowly.
Dr. Waterhouse was waiting inside with a crow bar, still unafraid to get her hands dirty. One of the most exciting things about being a museum director was having the first access to new acquirements.
You set Ahkmenrah’s crate down on the marked patch of concrete and backed the forklift out of the smaller room. You parked at the end of one of the closest aisles and jogged back into the transition room.
The transition room looked like an operating room for antiquities. Tools lined the walls as did work benches that accommodated magnifying glasses of all sizes, microscopes, and other sensitive equipment used to run tests. Around the middle of the floor were some lamps that could be swung this way or that to capture the object on the floor in the best light. In this room, the curator worked with his team to get the antiquities ready for display, conducting as much restoration and preservation as was necessary.
“James will be delighted,” Dr. Waterhouse said quietly as she eyed the crate, clearly eager to see the sarcophagus and the tablet.
“James is our head curator,” you explained to Larry. “That’s actually what my aunt does now at the museum in New York.”
“Lovely,” Dr. Waterhouse whispered, more to the crate than as an acknowledgement to your comment. “Shall we?”
Dr. Waterhouse didn’t wait for a reply before she popped out the first nail of the crate. You thanked whatever cosmic power that existed she started at the end that had not already been pried open. She worked slowly, and you and Larry watched with bated breath.
When she was finished, she set the crowbar on a bench and stepped back to allow you and Larry to lift off the crate’s lid. The gold from Ahk’s coffin was blinding as it reflected all the lights in the center of the room. You pivoted some of them to an angle as Dr. Waterhouse ran her gnarled fingers over the face etched into the gold, then slide her hand down to touch some of the jewels that adorned the sides of the sarcophagus.
“Beautiful. Absolutely breathtaking,” she said.
Same, you thought, thinking of Ahkmenrah’s actual face.
Dr. Waterhouse moved around the crate and reached in to pull out the Tablet of Ahkmenrah. The gold of it was also blinding under the lights, but along the bottom, you could see the greyish hue of corrosion.
“You were correct, Y/N. The tablet is in dire need of restoration. I’ve never seen anything like this on pure gold, unless, perhaps this is not?”
“James can run some tests, but I am positive that it is, and that it is the real tablet,” you said, attempting to placate Dr. Waterhouse.
She nodded, and placed the tablet on the work table. “Shall we see what’s inside the sarcophagus?”
“No!” you and Larry both yelled, surprising Dr. Waterhouse so much that she took a step back.
“Goodness! What has gotten into you, Y/N?”
You felt the cold fingers of panic creep across your chest and squeeze as your mind raced for a suitable answer.
“The curse!” Larry yelled from beside you, startling both you and Dr. Waterhouse this time.
Oh, fuck me, you inwardly groaned.
Dr. Waterhouse’s eyebrows shot straight into her hairline before her mouth turned downward, irritation practically leaking from the corners.
“Americans and their superstitions,” you said, giggling nervously, searching for a way to prevent Dr. Waterhouse from prying inside the coffin. “The American museum just completed a full photographic report on the mummy, right Lar?”
“Report? Ah, yes! Yes, I know they did. Took the pictures myself,” he muttered.
Dr. Waterhouse looked offended. “A night-guard photographed a 4,000-year-old, precious artifact?”
“Larry just has a real attachment to Ahkmenrah,” you said as you moved next to Dr. Waterhouse and whispered, “They really just humor him.”
Dr. Waterhouse continued to frown, but nodded. “If the American museum was really just in there poking about, we shouldn’t disturb the mummy again for a suitable period of time.”
“Right! And our clear concern is the tablet,” you said while walking over to the work table and hoping that Dr. Waterhouse’s attention would be diverted.
“Indeed! I’ve never seen anything like this, except, well, let me think—” and Dr. Waterhouse began recounting an experience with a gold statue brought to the museum from the Mayan Temple of Tikal.
You shot a glance at Larry that conveyed your relief as she took the bait, but a quick glance at your phone let you know it was getting late. It was after 4:00, and in mid-February, sunset was around 5:00.
“So, in the end, the makers of the statue proved to be clever by housing the true statue within a false statue. It protected it for centuries,” Dr. Waterhouse concluded.
“That’s fascinating—I can’t wait to see what James discovers when he examines the tablet,” you said as Dr. Waterhouse agreed.
You made a bit of a production of pulling out your phone and checking the time.
“4:18—wow! Time has just flown by this afternoon.”
“My! It has—I need to call the American museum to let them know we received Ahkmenrah and his tablet. I would also like to request a copy of that report.”
You walked over to the interior door of the transition room and held it open for Dr. Waterhouse to exit. You clicked off the lights and as the three of you exited the storage room, Dr. Waterhouse pulled out her keys and locked the door; she also unclicked her radio from her hip and walkied for the head of security to make sure the loading dock and the storage area were all properly secured.
Larry’s face flickered with worry, but you shook your head and patted your jacket’s packet. You had already been entrusted with a key to the storage room.
After saying good-night to Dr. Waterhouse, you and Larry walked back to the lobby.
“Soooo what’s the plan?” Larry asked.
“You’ve got to get back to Ahk,” you said, handing Larry your key to the storage room. “I don’t want him waking up alone and in the dark, especially since he’s been sick. Just keep the lights off as long as you can—actually, put that damn flashlight of yours to good use!”
“Got it,” Larry said while patting over the pocket of his jacket that held his flashlight. “Then, I’ll bring him to you in his parents’ exhibit.”
“Yup. I’ve written a letter explaining what’s happening. There’s no way they are going to wake up speaking English. The real question is what the hell we are going to do about our stowaways.”
“I can’t believe they figured out how to ship themselves here,” Larry said, settling his hands on his hips after sliding the key to the storage room in his pants’ pocket.
“I’m sure they just want to help Ahk, but perhaps we just ‘forget’ they are here for the time being. Maybe they won’t even make it out of the storage room?”
“Y/N, they managed to ship themselves here from New York. We aren’t going to trick them by leaving them alone in a dark room.”
You sighed in frustration.
“Focus on Ahk’s parents. Leave the rest of the guys to me.”
“Thank you—shit, it’s late! Dr. Waterhouse leaves at 6:30 every day after security finishes its sweep. I’m sealing off the Egyptian wing to work, so they won’t walk in on Meren and Shep when they wake up. If you stay inside the transition room with Ahk until 6:30, you’ll be fine.”
“Got it,” Larry said with a firm nod. “I’ll see you soon.”
“Yes,” you said slowly, your stomach fluttering at the thought of seeing Ahkmenrah in less than two hours.
As you and Larry headed in your separate directions, you once again found yourself asking the cosmos to help you get this right—to help Merenkahre and Shepseheret wake up without losing their minds.
Armed with your letter, you sat in the tiny hallway between the two exhibits and waited for the sun to set. You took off your jacket and used it to cushion your seat on the floor.
As you were reading over your letter for the tenth time, the rattling of the sarcophaguses caused you to shoot up from the floor; unfortunately, your foot had fallen asleep and you fell face forward, just barely catching yourself with your hands.
“Fuck me!”
You shook it off and hobbled your way to Merenkahre’s coffin first; as you lifted the lid, up popped a very dusty mummy. His wrappings were badly decayed, so you figured he could fuss with them himself and you ran over to Shepseheret’s coffin. She had flung her lid aside and was already unwrapping her bandages. You could just see her eyes as you approached and she froze, clearly frightened. You relied on your knowledge of their culture, and bent at the knee, splaying your arms to show you meant only respect.
She spoke, but you were unsure what she said as it was still muffled by her bandages.
Merenkahre had made fast work of his own wrappings and came, dressed in his regal splendor through the opening between their exhibits, stumbling when he realized who had spoken.
Shepseheret began crying as she struggled with her bandages. You stood up and helped her, then helped her out of the coffin.
She looked equally as stunning as her husband, her full regalia much more ornate than anything you had ever seen. She was buried with the highest honors, and you wondered what exactly happened after Ahkmenrah was killed. Surely, Kahmunrah wouldn’t have allowed Meren and Shep to be buried in such ornate clothes because they were a dead giveaway of their identity.
You pushed your questions aside, knowing you had no way to ask them anyway, and watched as Merenkahre gathered his wife into his arms. They cried and hugged each other, whispering in ancient Egyptian. It pained you to break up their reunion, but their son needed them.
“Ahkmenrah,” you stated, hoping to get their attention.
They both turned and looked at you, Shepseheret’s blue-green eyes, the exact same as her son’s, widening. You began the speech you had rehearsed and hoped your ancient Egyptian was understandable.
“Ahkmenrah needs help. His tablet is dying.”
Merenkahre began speaking, much more rapidly than you could follow. You held up your hands and shook your head to indicate that you didn’t understand.
You jogged the few steps to where you had been waiting and grabbed the letter explaining how you knew their son, where he was, where they were, and about the tablet’s corrosion.
Their eyes flew over the hieroglyphs, and Shepseheret’s hand covered her mouth as it fell open, her face filling with concern.
Once again, they began to converse with one another, and you only picked up that they discussed Ahk and his brother, and they definitely did know Kahmunrah had killed them all.
Surprisingly, they didn’t seem all that shocked to be awake. That made you wonder just how much more they knew about their gift to their son.
Merenkahre frowned and tried speaking again. You shook your head and shrugged your shoulders, unable to follow enough of what he was saying. You had planned on Larry and Ahk having arrived by now. You wondered what was keeping them, and then, you remembered you had left your backpack and your notebook in Meren’s exhibit.
You ran to fetch it and hastily wrote out that you could read his language but not speak it.
Merenkahre stared at your pen for a moment and ran a hand over the paper in awe; then, he scrawled in the notebook:
“Where is my son?”
“He’s here, now. That’s why you’ve come to life. The tablet is with him. Can you help?”
“I need to see it, but yes, I believe I know what is wrong.”
“What is wrong?”
“The tablet is most likely in need of Khonsu’s light.”
You nodded, unsure exactly what the moon god had to do with Ahk’s tablet, but you were overjoyed that his father seemed to know what was wrong.
Shepseheret reached for the notebook and pen and scrawled a request:
“Explain more about when and where we are.”
“England,” you scrawled before drawing a crude map that showed them where they were in relation to Egypt. “The year is 20–.”*
“Did you find us?”
“Yes.”
“Did you find us for my son?”
“Yes.”
Shepseheret smiled at you, a soft, knowing smile. She turned and spoke to her husband, and he listened intently.
You stepped away to allow them to converse, and you used that moment to try to call Larry.
He answered, panting into the phone.
“We’ve got—a—slight—problem!”
“Where are you?!”
And in response, you heard some yelling and scuffling before the line went dead. You were left to stare at your phone and wonder what the hell had gone wrong.
You decided to stay in the exhibit with Ahk’s parents, trusting that Larry would get Ahkmenrah here. This was what Larry did best.
Merenkahre and Shepseheret were still deep in conversation but had begun to wonder around each of their exhibits, pointing at artifacts as they examined each room.
Just as you stepped back into the small hallway that separated Meren’s throne room from Shep’s garden, Larry and Ahk, followed by a small, very awkward crew of supporters, thundered up the stairs and skidded into the exhibit. Ahkmenrah’s mouth dropped open as he approached his mother’s garden.
Shepseheret ran to her son, the two of them melting into a loving embrace. Merenkahre followed and reached out to touch his son’s face in disbelief. They began to speak in hushed, low voices, and each of their faces was streaked with tears. Ahkmenrah’s smile was so blinding, it dulled the tracks of tears that had slid from his eyes.
Ahkmenrah asked his mother a question, and she turned and pointed to you as you stood in the shadow of the hallway between the two exhibits.
You walked out slowly, unsure if your legs would sustain you as you saw Ahkmenrah for the first time in nearly two years.
“Y/N,” Ahkmenrah breathed, and asked with awe, “What have you done?”
“I found your family, and my team built this for them. And I had hoped . . . for you, too,” you said as you gestured to the hallway separating Shepseheret’s garden from Ahkmenrah’s chamber.
Ahkmenrah glanced to the doorway and then to his father’s throne room, the golden sun that had been excavated and painstaking restored, glittered within a glass casing on the floor.
Ahkmenrah moved from his mother’s embrace, and he slowly closed the distance between you. When he stopped in front of you, he was so close that you could count his eyelashes, close enough that you could smell the rich scent of papyrus, sandalwood, and the open air of the desert that was so determined to cling to him, even after 4,000 years. Ahk took a deep breath and reached out to grip your upper arms.
You froze as he laid his forehead against yours and closed his eyes, breathing you in. When he opened his eyes, and locked them onto yours, he asked one simple question: “Why?”
You were still frozen, hypnotized by the intensity of his gaze and the only thing that would come out of your mouth was the truth.
“Because I love you.”
Ahkmenrah pulled you to him, and your body softened within his embrace as you wrapped your arms around his waist, sliding your hands across the smooth, warm skin of his back.
When he pulled away, he began murmuring, “I am deeply sorry, Y/N. I should have told you. I am and have been wholly in lo—”
Ahkmenrah’s face grimaced as he staggered forward, almost knocking the wind out of you as you caught him and struggled to hold him upright. As you looked into his face, you were horrified to see the black lines of decay that ringed his eyes, his smooth skin wrinkling to some grey-matter before slowly, slowly turning back to flesh.
His father rushed forward and wrapped his arm around his son, holding him steady, his face full of concern.
Ahkmenrah must have explained what was happening and Merenkahre followed up with talking about Khonsu. You could feel the tension between the two of them, and Shepseheret interrupted, speaking gently as she gripped her husband’s arm.
“That’s it?!” Ahkmenrah exclaimed in English.
“What? What’s it?!” Larry shouted, unable to wait any longer.
“All we need to do is expose the tablet to moonlight,” Ahkmenrah said, irritation tinging his speech.
You felt like your heart stopped—that was easy!
Too easy.
Larry sighed. “That would be easy. If we had the tablet.”
“Uhh, say what now, Lar?” you questioned. “Everyone is alive—the tablet is obviously here. We saw it an hour ago!”
“It was stolen by a loathsome metal man,” Ahk said through clenched teeth, clearly ready to destroy the thief as his fists clenched in anger.
You glanced at Ahkmenrah, worried because you’d never seen him so angry, and worried because of the way he had spoken to his parents.
“Lancelot. You know, of the knights and the round table. He stole the tablet,” Larry finished, looking at you.
“Why would Lancelot steal? That breaks like 500 codes of chivalry.”
“He said something about a quest?” Larry answered, clearly unsure about Lancelot’s motive.
You thumped your hand to your forehead, interrupting yourself.
“Of course! The display here was built around the knights’ quest for the holy grail. I bet he thinks the tablet can help him find the grail.”
“The grail, yes.” Ahkmenrah said, his teeth still gritted. “That’s what the little fuck was babbling about.”
You raised your brows, taken aback by Ahkmenrah’s language.
“Are you okay, Ahk?”
“No—I am clearly not o-fucking-kay as I nearly turned into a pile of rot and bones a moment ago,” he snapped.
Shepseheret, reading her son’s tone, scolded him.
He glared at her, anger tinging his cheeks, before something came over him, washing his anger away. His features softened and he apologized to you and to his mother.
“You don’t need to apologize to me, Ahk. This is all my fault.”
“My mother says I certainly do need to apologize—wait, what do you mean this is your fault?”
“I think I did something the night I used it to return us from your memory.”
Ahkmenrah shook his head before returning to stand in front of you, his hands grasping your face.
“No. This has nothing to do with that night. If anything, it’s my fault for overusing the tablet. I continued my experiments, and thanks to my parents, never knew it needed moonlight to survive.”
“Don’t be angry with them, Ahk,” you said as you reached up to grasp his wrist, stroking your thumb across his skin. “They made that tablet out of love.”
Ahkmenrah lowered his hands and sighed. “I know, Y/N. And I thank you for reuniting us. This means more to me than I can ever express.”
Merenkahre, every bit still a pharaoh, had grown tired of not knowing what was going on and tapped his staff on the floor, the loud clanging causing everyone except Ahkmenrah to jump.
Merenkahre spoke, and Ahk said while rolling his eyes, “He wants me to translate.”
As Ahkmenrah began speaking to his father, you took time to greet Teddy and the others, noticing how depressed and lethargic they seemed, before turning your attention to Larry.
“How familiar are you with Sir Lancelot?”
“He was a knight of the round table, a pretty good one, I think, at least until he fell in love with King Arthur’s wife, Guinevere.”
“Exactly. And guess who is in King Arthur’s display?”
Larry narrowed his eyes, “Y/N . . . I’m afraid of what is about to come out of your mouth.”
“They’re wax!” you barked, startling yourself and causing Ahkmenrah to look up from his conversation.
You huffed and pulled Larry through the hallway and into Merenkahre’s exhibit, damn near shoving him against the wall in your haste to explain.
“Ahkmenrah, his parents—they are flesh and blood! I don’t care if I have to throw that stupid hunk of wax into an incinerator to get the tablet back.”
“I know! I know!” Larry said, his hands raised in defense. “It’s just that, well, I don’t just think of them as wax. I’ve gotten to know all of them, Y/N, and they are real—at least the tablet makes them real enough. Think about it—Teddy and Sacagawea. Jed and Octavius. Those connections didn’t exist in their lifetime. They were forged after the tablet brought them to life. And they remember. Just like you and I do.”
You ran your hands through your hair in frustration.
Larry knew he wasn’t getting through to you, so he tried a different tactic.
“You can’t just take on a knight of THE roundtable.”
“I’m not planning on it,” you said before sighing. “I care about the others, too, Lar, but this is about Ahkmenrah, and now, his parents. What would you do if you were faced with losing Rebecca or Nicky forever?”
Larry answered without hesitation, “I would do whatever it took to save them.”
“So help me—I do have a plan, ya know.”
“Lay it on me, kiddo,” Larry said with a nervous grin.
* * * * *
“Alright, Gigantress,” Jed said from the display he and Octavius were standing on. “The queen is alone—she followed the trail of flowers we left, just like you said she would.”
“This version of Guinevere isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed,” you explained as you readied your rope, gag, and dagger.
“May Fortuna shine upon you,” Octavius said, giving you a tiny bow.
You shot him a nervous smile, muttered your thanks, and took off up to the Arctic exhibit. Larry had taken Ahk to distract the mummies that had risen and had been terrorizing most of the other exhibits, hoping that he would be able to command them.
There was also a very large, very angry rhinoceros that was charging through the museum. It was during that encounter that Lancelot happened upon Larry and Ahk and stole the tablet.
What a mess—Tilly should get a month’s vacation after this.
You hoped that your plan would be executed with a little less chaos. You chose the Arctic exhibit as the place to kidnap Guinevere because it was on the topmost floor of the museum, closest to the roof. Also, because it was kept really cool, the doors sealed shut. You wanted to get Guinevere far away from Arthur or any of the other knights. So far, Teddy had done an excellent job of sending Arthur and his knights on a chase across the museum, claiming to be in possession of the grail because he was the reincarnation of Jesus Christ himself.
On the other hand, Atilla the Hun was busy herding Lancelot toward the Arctic exhibit, relying on a lot of chasing, screaming, and yelling to push the knight into a location where he would see the kidnapped queen.
You also knew the Artic exhibit mostly contained the Canadian Inuit and used dioramas and paintings to showcase their life. While the end of the exhibit displayed the animals, the polar bear and the caribou were behind glass, like Sacagawea had been. Your only real worry was avoiding the walrus. There was a massive re-creation of a walrus attacking a boat that served as the centerpiece in the room that housed the polar creatures. While walruses aren’t prone to attacking humans, they did not appreciate boats intruding on their hunting ground. They had proven to be formidable foes for the Inuit.
After slowly pushing the door open, you stopped to listen for any danger in the exhibit. It was eerily quiet, and the only light came from the dim, round floor lamps. You walked slowly, hoping to catch a glimpse of Guinevere’s silver gown.
As you wound through the entryway, you came upon a reconstruction of an igloo, and inside, seated with all the flowers she had gathered as part of Jed and Octavius’s trail, was the queen. Her entire being seemed to emit a silvery glow, like she was made of some unearthly substance. Her long blonde hair even seemed to glitter, nearly matching the silver of her gown.
You slackened the rope in your hands, hoping you would be able to loop it right over her head.
“You have come to kidnap me, I suppose,” Guinevere spoke up, her musical voice doing little to hide the sigh that escaped as she easily surrendered.
You raised your eyebrows, unaware how she even saw you approaching from the darkened hallway.
“Yes, I have come to kidnap you,” you said slowly. “But I don’t want to harm you. I honestly don’t have the time to.”
Guinevere placed the floral crown she had been weaving on the table in the igloo and stood, proffering her hands.
“Are you a witch?” she asked as you looped the rope around her wrists.
“Nope. Just a regular girl trying to save the not so regular guy she loves.”
“Oh! You are in love?” Guinevere sighed, a light springing into her eyes. “I love falling in love. There is no better feeling in all the realm!”
“Yeah,” you said, tightening the rope. “Camelot really appreciated that quality of yours. Do I need the gag?”
“I’ll scream only if you want me to,” Guinevere offered politely.
“Not yet, sis. But when we see Lancelot, I’m going to need you to scream like a bloody Banshee.”
“Lancelot,” Guinevere sighed. “Such a wonderful knight. It will be quite exciting to be rescued by him. Again.”
You narrowed your eyes, and even though you didn’t have the time, you had to ask.
“Why did you marry Arthur?”
“It twas my duty, and he was so very charming when first he wooed me. But then it all changed,” Guinevere said as she looked through you, clearly lost in the remnants of her past.
“He was trying to build a kingdom, to promote equality and—Jesus, why am I explaining this? You’re a myth.”
Guinevere looked at you again, her eyes looking just as real as any other person’s.
“But my name is known throughout lands and throughout time, and so it will always be. Can you say the same for yours?”
You didn’t answer her and instead took her by the arm and lead her in the direction of the exit. If Atilla had done his job, Lancelot would be on his way to the roof with the tablet to rescue his lover. If you got to the central balcony, you might be able to get Guinevere to scream loud enough to hurry the process along. Ahk and Larry should be on their way there, too, barring the mummies didn’t—
No. No time to think of the what-ifs.
As you hurried Guinevere down the hallway, you finally replied, “No, Queen Guinevere, my name won’t survive for centuries, but I do hope to live with integrity in this one.”
“You would have made an excellent knight.”
Before you could say anything else, the sound of a deep bark stopped you in your tracks.
“Can you run?”
“I am a lady. I needn’t bother with ru—"
“RUN!” you yelled as the walrus began crashing forward, his massive weight shaking the floor as he moved, much quicker than you would have imagined. You pushed Guinevere in the direction of the door, the flickering of her silver dress and blonde hair flashing in your peripheral vision.
The two of you crashed through the door and Guinevere stumbled, and unable to catch herself, fell to the floor.
You grabbed a nearby trashcan and shoved the rim under the door, hopefully buying you some time as the walrus crashed into the door, rattling the glass.
It definitely wouldn’t hold for long.
“Up you go, queen,” you said hoisting Guinevere to her feet.
“What was that?”
“It’s called a walrus, but right now, I need you to look over this railing and scream your head off.”
Guinevere immediately complied and you almost dropped the dagger to clasp your ears. You grabbed her arm again to stop her and looked over the ledge. Sure enough, Lancelot was bounding up the spiral stairs, Attila on his heels.
“FIEND,” he screamed. “You will die for touching the queen! Guinevere, your Lancelot is coming for you!”
“I’m counting on that,” you said, as you pulled her along before she could reply.
“How romantic,” she sighed as you hurried her up the stairs that let out to the roof.
Lancelot was not far behind and just as you shoved Guinevere on to the ledge of the roof, he burst through the door.
Lancelot’s eyes widened at the sight of you with your dagger against Guinevere’s back, her feet just the width of the bricks on which she stood. For the first time, Guinevere actually did appear frightened, and had you been able to see the look on your face, it wouldn’t have come as a surprise that she was.
Your teeth were bared and the hand that wasn’t clutching the dagger was balled into a fist. Rage radiated from you, unable to believe that this idiot was about to inadvertently kill Ahkmenrah.
“Give me the fucking tablet, Lancelot, or I kill her,” you said evenly and with excellent annunciation. Lancelot needed to understand your threat was not idle.
Just as Lancelot was about to reply, Ahkmenrah and Larry, along with Atilla, Teddy and his horse, Jed, Octavius, several mummies, and a few of the other British and American exhibits burst through the door. Larry was holding Ahkmenrah up, his face twisted in pain.
“The game’s over Lancelot—be a true knight—of the round table—and return what you stole,” Larry said through his pants.
“Stole?” Lancelot spat out. “This will lead me to THE Holy Grail. THE greatest gift left to man by THE Holy God!”
“A gift for which you will prove to be unworthy, Lancelot!” you shouted, poking Guinevere in the back so she uttered a sharp little cry. “Give the tablet to Ahkmenrah NOW!”
Before Lancelot could reply, Ahkmenrah’s knees buckled and Larry nearly lost his hold on him. Ahk was gasping for breath as life slowly began to wither out of him.
Attila was next, dropping to his knees, his eyes looking forward in a blank stare. Teddy began to freeze, his mouth an “o” of surprise.
Your scream was damn near feral as you dropped the dagger and abandoned Guinevere to run to Ahkmenrah.
“HE’S DYING!” you yelled through the sob that tore from your throat.
Ahk clung to you as you reached him, dropping to your knees to try to support his torso, cradling him in your arms like the night you returned from witnessing his murder by the hands of his own brother.
Ahkmenrah’s eyes were fixed on you as he tried to speak, but failed.
You whipped your head to look at Lancelot as you said, “The others—they’re wax and clay and stuffing, but Ahkmenrah is real. He’s real,” you repeated before looking into your rotting king’s face and whispering, “You are real.”
Ahkmenrah smiled, a sad quick upturn of his lips.
“Please don’t leave me, Ahk. Please, please, please,” you begged as you pressed a kiss to his greying lips, pieces of flesh wrinkling and falling away, his body becoming lighter, skeletal within your grip.
Ahkmenrah fixed his eyes on you and spoke, his voice faded but capable now, strengthened only by the imminence of his true death.
“Y/N, I love you. I have loved you all this time. I was wrong to push you away. Forgive me?”
“I love you, Ahkmenrah. I never stopped,” you said through the tears that were falling, landing on the greying flesh that was turning to dust, mixing to make tiny spots of ashy-mud.
“What have I done?!” Lancelot cried as he quickly pulled the tablet from within his armor.
“It needs moonlight!” Larry yelled.
Lancelot held the tablet high over his head in an offering to the night sky.
As the moon’s silvery rays hit it, the tablet’s corrosion stopped, then began to reverse; however, instead of just reverting to its golden state, it turned white as the moonlight restored its power, building until it flashed in a blinding white light that pulsed across the rooftop.
You watched in awe as Ahkmenrah was immediately restored, his body growing strong again in your arms, his flesh hardening and smoothing back into its familiar, brown coloring.
Ahkmenrah reached up to grasp your cheek with his palm, cupping it to pull you into a kiss. You could hear the others cheering and you pulled back, laughing with Ahk as the two of you clambered to your feet.
“I believe this belongs to you, your Royal Highness. Please accept my humblest apology,” Lancelot said with a bow.
You could feel Ahkmenrah’s anger, but you shifted into his arms, drawing his attention back to you. You rested your hand on Ahk’s warm abdomen and said to him in ancient Egyptian, “He is a remnant. That is all he is.”
Ahkmenrah’s eyes softened as he understood the implication of your words. Never again would you allow him to use the excuse of only being an artifact. He was bone, blood, and flesh. He was human.
Ahkmenrah tilted his head and accepted the errant knight’s apology.
Soon, the others gathered around you, cheering and celebrating that life would continue for them all.
Larry pulled you into a hug and whispered, “You did it, kiddo!” before releasing you to wrap Ahk into an even stronger hug.
“We saved,” Atilla spoke up, his gravelly voice speaking English and causing everyone to turn. “We PARTY!”
The group on the rooftop exploded into excitement, Ahkmenrah’s laughter warming you despite the cold air of the night that whipped across the rooftop.
* * * * *
You were quite certain the world had never seen a party like this. To an outsider, it might look like a really broadly themed costume party, but you couldn’t help but think about how to now define the word real. You and Larry and Tilly were real. So was Ahkmenrah, his parents, and the other mummies. But the other exhibits? Could you qualify them as real?
Even if you did, you would have shoved a dagger into Guinevere or melted Lancelot with a torch to save Ahkmenrah. Still, Larry’s earlier words resonated with you.
You smiled unabashedly as you saw Ahk manning the DJ table as usual, this time with his parents by his side, utterly fascinated by the technology their son could so easily use.
Someone had found a bubble machine along with an entire crate of Christmas crackers. Bubbles filled the air as tiny bangs burst along with the music, the exhibits dancing gleefully through the throngs of confetti that popped out of the crackers, some even fighting over the tiny prizes inside.
You closed your eyes for a moment and thanked whoever or whatever may be listening, then you turned away from the noise and began climbing the stairs to the Egyptian wing. You were so tired, but at the same time, it felt like your skin was thrumming with electricity. The very air felt different to you; things seemed brighter, more real than they had in the past year and a half. You assumed that’s what love was—finding someone who could electrify your life, brighten it, just with their presence.
You wondered through Ahkmenrah’s chambers, thinking about what the future would hold. It was clear that your life would never be “normal,” but normal was subjective.
You eventually returned to Shepseheret’s garden, settling into the roped hammock that closely resembled a porch swing. You closed your eyes and listened to the distant thudding of the music and the quiet trickling of the stream that ran through the grasses. It was almost as if you were back there, in Ahk’s memory. You could swear that you could even smell him—
“It seems that every time a crisis is averted, we throw a party,” Ahkmenrah said as his sandaled feet crunched along the tiny rocks of the garden path.
Your eyes popped open as you shook off the sleepiness that had nearly claimed you. Meeting his eyes, those beautiful, prominently intense and polychromatic eyes, you said, “Welcome to modern times. We party to forget our pain.”
“Definitely not a modern concept, my love,” Ahkmenrah said as he settled onto the hammock, scooting closer so you could use his lap as a pillow. One of his arms settled across your sweater-clad stomach, but the barrier of clothing didn’t stop your body from reacting to his proximity, your lower abdomen inwardly clenching at the remembrance of the pleasure this man had once given you.
Ahk had removed his crown, and now he kicked off his sandals. You could feel the muscles in his legs shift and tighten as wiggled his toes into the sand that was underneath the hammock.
“If only kids knew that historical figures were this into getting lit. They may actually pay attention in their history classes.”
Ahkmenrah chuckled, but it was clear he had something on his mind.
The atmosphere quickly grew serious. You could feel the tension rise in the air and in his body, his fingers rubbing a pattern, back and forth against your sweater. Suddenly, you were very awake. It occurred to you that you should’ve seen this coming, that you shouldn’t have been so goddamn stupid.
Well, this time, you’d beat him to the punch.
You sat up, Ahkmenrah pulling his arm back as you wiggled away from him. You swung your legs over the edge of the bench, sitting upright as if you were in a proper chair, your own body now taught, stress tightening your muscles.
Every fucking time you let a wall down, Ahkmenrah managed to come in à la Miley Cyrus and her wrecking ball; he flooded you with emotions and made you completely vulnerable.
So, you would babble. You would lie and then lie some more, all in the hope of stifling the blow that was about to come.
“I know, Ahk. You don’t even have to command me this time—I’ll ‘go gently into that good night’ before you even tell me that everything you said was because you thought you were dying. And if you were about to be dead, there was no harm in saying wonderful things because there would be NO issue of where the fuck we go from here because you’d be dead. So, it’s fine. It’s whatever. I did this once. I can do it again.”
Ahkmenrah was very quiet until you stopped speaking, allowing the silence to fill the room again, and just as it teetered on oppressive, he spoke.
“I love you,” he said, clearly and full of emotion.
You looked up from the hammock, your knuckles whitening as you gripped the edges of the woven ropes.
You dared to turn your head to look at him, only to find that he was staring at you.
“I love you,” he repeated, locking his eyes onto yours.
You looked away, the emotion too intense.
Ahkmenrah moved off the hammock and kneeled before you, placing his hands over your gripping fists. You looked down into his face, his beautiful face, and didn’t know what to say anymore. Your lies didn’t work; nothing would soften the blow of what was about to come.
Ahkmenrah continued while your heart pounded in your chest.
“I hurt you because I thought I had to—I thought it was the right thing to do. Never, have I ever regretted something so deeply as not coming after you, not running down the streets of the great city and yelling that I loved you, too. But I knew if I did, none of this would have happened. Look around you, Y/N. You have done this. You have built this. I will never ask you to give up your dreams, but what I am going to ask you for is any piece of your life you are willing to share with me. I will be with you in any way that you will let me.”
His eyes were bright and pleading. The irony of the once great pharaoh of Egypt on his knees before a commoner was not lost on you. This was as significant of a gesture as Ahk knew how to make. A god-king never kneeled, and here he was, his knees in the sandy dirt, begging for any scrap of you that you were willing to give him.
Your mind was engaged in a violent war: Lie, lie, lie, and keep lying your goddamn ass off, said one side. The other echoed only one simple plea: let him love you.
Ahkmenrah watched and couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his lips. “Let me in, Y/N. Let me know what’s going on in here,” he said as he softly touched the middle of your forehead.
It was your turn to let the silence grow, to let the war inside your head rage while the Fourth King of the Fourth King stayed on his knees, his eyes pleading for one more chance.
You took a deep breath and said, “You already have all my pieces, Ahk.”
Ahkmenrah pushed himself up from his knees and pulled you up from the hammock to take you in his arms and kiss you with that same passion you had once poured into your goodbye kiss after the night you witnessed his death. He kissed you with nearly two years’ worth of longing, of regret, and of heartbreak.
And most importantly, when he pulled his lips from yours to allow the both of you to breath, he cupped your face and rubbed his thumb over your cheek and told you he would never let himself become nothing more than a remnant of your past.
You both jumped when Merenkahre spoke up from the head of the garden, neither of you having heard the approach of Ahk’s parents.
You both turned, laughing nervously with your kiss-swollen lips. Ahkmenrah held your hand, tightening his grip when you tried to pull away to let him speak to his parents.
“I want to properly introduce you to them, Y/N,” Ahk explained as he pulled you forward.
“I already did that,” you said, trying to tug your hand away again.
Ahkmenrah stopped and turned to face you, awaiting your explanation.
“When Larry told me you were sick, I knew I wouldn’t have much time to explain to your parents what was happening and I certainly knew they wouldn’t wake up speaking English. So, I wrote them a letter and I . . . well, I told them that I loved you. That I’d do anything to save you.”
Ahkmenrah grinned and stepped forward to kiss you again, a gentle press of his lips to yours as he slid a finger under your chin.
His eyes danced with happiness as he said, “Then there is nothing to be nervous about now, my love.”
You sighed, clearly unable to avoid this awkward reintroduction.
Ahkmenrah spoke to first his father and then to his mother. You understood your name and the Egyptian words for love and for honor. He also referenced Shai, the god of fate. You were almost positive you caught Hathor somewhere in there, too.
When he finished speaking, he stepped back a little and nudged you forward.
“Say hello,” he said nodding with encouragement as if you were a toddler attempting to take your first steps.
You took a moment to gather your translated thoughts and said, “I am honored to be in your presence your Royal Majesties. I understand I am common, unworthy of your beloved son, but I love him and only wish to make him happy.”
Merenkahre and Shepseheret looked at each other and giggled, then Merenkahre clapped his somewhat embarrassed looking son on the back.
“What did I say,” you said, panic sweeping through your eyes.
“You just told my parents that you loved me . . . and wished to provide me with endless sexual satisfaction.”
Your mouth dropped open and you looked back at his parents who were grinning broadly, clearly amused by your gaffe.
You narrowed your eyes at Ahkmenrah and hissed, “This is your fault!”
Ahkmenrah, now grinning, too, clarified what you had meant by “happy.” You noticed the intonation of the two versions of the word were quite different.
Meren and Shep both nodded, laughing a little, clearly understanding what your intended meaning had been.
Shepseheret stepped forward and embraced you. You could feel the beads in her hair slide across your cheek and smell her sweet perfume, a mixture of lavender, rose, and of the subtle smell of papyrus, just like her son. She held on to your hands as she pulled back and said, “My son is lucky to have your love.”
You understood her and thanked her.
Then, Merenkahre moved forward as Shepseheret stepped back. He gripped your upper arms and thanked you for reuniting his family.
“I owe you a great debt, Y/N,” he said as he pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head.
You smiled, and Ahkmenrah took his place at your side, wrapping his arm around your waist. He leaned over to whisper in your ear, “That was not so bad, was it?”
You lightly elbowed him in the ribs in response causing him to laugh softly into your ear before he straightened, his father clearly waiting to tell him something.
“What is it father?”
“Son, your tablet does not just restore life temporarily. The magic within it contains enough power to return you, fully, to your mortal state.”
Ahkmenrah stared in disbelief as you furrowed your brow, trying to piece together what Merenkahre was saying.
Shepseheret stepped forward and took her son in her arms, hugging him while whispering, “You could have the life your brother stole from you, my beloved. All we have ever wanted was for you to live a full, happy life.”
Ahkmenrah continued to stare in disbelief, your heart dropping into your stomach as you caught the mention of Kahmunrah and his murder of Ahk.
“The tablet will need to be bathed in Khonsu’s light every night for fourteen days. Once it has soaked in all of Khonsu’s magic, it will have the power to restore you, permanently.”
“Father, what do you mean by only saying that it will restore me, not us?”
Merenkahre looked at his son, pride chasing away the sadness that had filled his eyes as Ahk questioned him.
“I did not wish for you to ask that question, but you have always been clever, my son. Once the tablet is drained of its restorative magic, it will turn to dust, as will we.”
Ahkmenrah stared in disbelief at his parents. They were offering to give up their lives for his.
Unable to wait any longer, you seized the gap in the conversation to ask, “What did they say about the tablet and its magic?”
“Y/N,” Ahk said quickly, his robes swirling as he turned to face you. “What if—what if I could be . . . human? Not just at night, but all the time. Would you still want me?”
Your first instinct was to laugh, but the seriousness on Ahkmenrah’s face told you this was not a hypothetical question.
“The tablet . . . can make you . . . totally human?” you questioned.
“Yes.”
You felt light-headed and reached for the hammock, but it was nowhere near you. Ahkmenrah reached for you and held you firmly to his chest. His eyes were boring into yours, searching for an answer.
“Ahk, I love you—you are it for me. You’ve ruined me because I really believe you are the love of my life. Pharaoh ‘alive-only-at-night’ you, or mortal ‘alive-all-the-time’ you. I want you any way I can have you.”
Ahkmenrah smiled one of those blinding, million-dollar grins that you had missed so much.
“I want to be alive-all-the-time with you, Y/N. I want a life.”
You wanted to return his joyful smile but worry niggled too strongly in your mind.
“You won’t be immortal. You will get sick. Get old. You will—you’ll die, Ahk.”
“I know,” Ahkmenrah said softly, the remnants of his smile still on his lips. “But I will also have lived.”
This time, your smile acted of its own accord, exploding across your features and reaching your eyes, your face the embodiment of joy.
* * * * *
For two weeks, the inhabitants of the British museum came to life at night; Larry had stayed for two more days to help Tilly develop a schedule for keeping order, and despite her awed confusion, she vigorously delved into her role as a guardian.
You had kept Ahk’s secret from Larry about becoming mortal. After all, you mostly lived your life waiting for the next hammer to fall, so you figured that if everything did go according to plan, you could give Larry and Rebecca one hell of a surprise when you and Ahkmenrah showed up on their doorstep in the middle of the day.
You and Ahk followed his father’s instructions and exposed the tablet to moonlight every night at midnight. The tablet’s appearance didn’t seem to change, but Ahkmenrah seemed to fill with an energy that you couldn’t explain. You weren’t sure if it was the magic of the tablet or if it was the possibility of him living a life of his choosing.
Ahkmenrah spent most of his time with his parents and you respected their privacy. Besides, it was exactly what you had worked for—to bring them together so Ahk could be happy.
While Ahkmenrah was with his parents, you spent time with the unidentified mummies, unbandaging them and working to identify each of them. While they were no longer in such a chaotic state, they were struggling to transition. They weren’t discovered by someone like you or Jack; they were jostled out of their slumber and thrust into a word they did not understand.
Currently, you were sitting in a circle, getting each of the mummies to share their history. A young boy with dark brown hair and eyes so big and dark they appeared to be black was talking about his parents—at least that was the gist of what you caught.
You knew Ahkmenrah had entered the room before you even saw him because each of the Egyptians stiffened and immediately shifted their positions to kneeling and bowing their heads.
Ahkmenrah told them to rise and to resume their discussion.
They hesitantly returned to more comfortable, seated positions, but their chatter was hushed, their eyes wide and glancing at Ahkmenrah.
“Hi, love,” you said, as he bent down to press a kiss to your temple.
“I do apologize for interrupting your meeting.”
“You are quite the distraction, King Ahkmenrah.”
He chuckled and said, “I only wanted to tell you that I’ll be with my parents until near dawn. It will be tonight, Y/N, that my father will reveal to me the final spell.”
“Oh,” you uttered, unable to articulate anything more than that tiny word.
Ahkmenrah smiled at you and nodded. “Come to the roof at 6:45 once the museum is quiet.”
“That’s cutting it awfully close, Ahk.”
“I am aware, but it needs to be this way.”
“Okay,” you said slowly processing what this meant. “Okay! I will see you then. Give your parents my love.”
Ahkmenrah said he would, and as he reached the door, he turned to look at you, reengaging the regenerated mummies, adding new scribbles to the scraps of paper that surrounded your seat on the floor. The corners of his mouth turned downward in a display of longing to bring them all to life again; while watching them, he felt so selfish.
Then, Ahkmenrah thought about the afterlife, something he and all of his people truly believed in. The tablet had ripped the souls in front of him from The Field of Reeds, including his own parents’. They all had families waiting for them there, and one day, Ahk would be reunited with his family again, too. By choosing to destroy the table, he was also choosing to bear the guilt of ending the earthly lives of the exhibits in the museum and of the mummies and his own parents.
Everything has its price.
* * * * *
“The mummies are all wrapped up and back in their coffins,” you said with a wave good-night to the Tilly.
“Thanks for your help, Y/N. Everyone else is all tucked in for their nighty-night!”
You smiled and popped into the elevator, heading to the roof.
When the doors opened, you were greeted by the bright grey of the pre-dawn. Ahkmenrah was looking toward the place where the sun would rise, a slash of pinkish-orange just barely visible near the line of the horizon.
His breath came out in little vapory puffs and you pulled your coat around you a bit tighter as you moved to stand next to him. You looked over, your eyes absorbing his regal profile. His eyes held a profound sadness that surprised you.
“Are you sure you’re ready to do this, Ahk? There’s no rush.”
“Waiting longer will not make this any easier,” Ahkmenrah said as he tore his eyes away from the growing pink and orange blur.
He turned to face you, his eyes locking on yours to draw strength. He took a deep breath and looked down at the tablet. You watched his lips as they issued a string of ancient Egyptian, his tone low and befitting of a spell.
The tablet began to glow as it did on the night it was reinvigorated by Khonsu’s light, but the light grew so bright that you had no choice but to turn away. Through your closed eyes, you saw a brilliant flash.
When you were able to see again, the bright white light was entering Ahk’s fingertips, slowly sliding its way up his arms. You watched the white light as it slid over his entire body. His eyes were closed and his breathing was even, so you knew that whatever was happening wasn’t painful. The bright light met at his chest and split, the light trailing up and down his torso. You watched as the light washed up and over his face and head, and then down his legs and over his toes.
There was a sudden gust of warm air that blew dirt and the remnants of the last snow out and away from the both of you. You searched Ahkmenrah’s face, and when he finally opened his eyes, you both looked to the tablet as it began to blacken.
In an instant, the tablet crumbled in Ahk’s hands, the black dust falling to the roof, blending in with the black of the dried tar that was partially obscured by the dirty snow.
“No,” you whispered. “Oh, no.”
You dropped to your knees and ran your fingers through the remnants of the tablet, your fingertips smudging with the ash. You rubbed your thumb, forefinger, and middle finger together in disbelief. You looked up at Ahkmenrah and he held his hands palm up. You slid your hands into his, the fingers with the ash drawing soft black smudges across his palm.
He pulled you up and slid his hands up your arms, gripping you.
“It’s okay, Y/N. I knew. I just . . . I just did not know how to tell you.”
“So that’s it? The tablet is gone. They’re all . . . gone. Forever.”
“Yes,” Ahkmenrah whispered, his eyes still the same intense, polychromatic swirl of blue and green, but they were filled with such hope, such infinite possibility that it took your breath away.
“You chose this?” you questioned.
“I chose you, yes,” Ahkmenrah said with a smile.
“But your parents! Did they know?”
“Of course they knew, and this is what they wanted for me. All they ever wanted was for me to be happy. For me to live.”
Your mind filled with an inability to believe what had just happened. The tablet was gone. No more would anything come to life in the museum—it was all, once again, reduced to wax, stuffing, and bone.
But Ahkmenrah was alive. You could feel that, and it squeezed at your heart in the same way his million-dollar smile did.
You took a deep breath and smiled at Ahkmenrah.
“Well, then how do you want to start living?”
“I want to watch the sun RISE,” Ahkmenrah said with firmness.
“And then?”
“I want to marry you.”
You laughed, and Ahkmenrah gave you that million-dollar grin.
“All in one day?” you questioned through your laughter. “Maybe we should take it a bit slower—"
“Do you doubt that this is our destiny?”
“I, uh . . . no. No, I don’t,” you said smiling at your eventual assuredness.
“Then let us begin our life together now. Let me teach you how to live like we lived, Y/N. I will prove to you that every day is a gift from the gods,” Ahkmenrah finished as he kissed you, his lips moving with practiced ease against yours, his tongue lightly twining with yours.
You closed the kiss, much quicker than you wished as you remembered what Ahk’s first request had been.
“You’re going to miss your first sun rise in 4,000 years!”
Ahkmenrah’s eyes never moved from your face, his gaze settling again on your lips.
“We have a lifetime to watch the sun rise, my queen. For now, kiss me until I cannot breathe.”
* * * * *
The streaks of pink and orange began to swirl together, combining until the ball of brightness that was the sun formed and burst above the horizon. The two figures on the top of the British Natural History Museum hardly noticed as the rays of the sun washed over their bodies, warming them as they continued to embrace, lost in what was considered a kiss for the ages.
Epilogue, forthcoming . . .
#Ahkmenrah#ahkmenrah fanfiction#natm ahkmenrah#ahkmenrah imagine#ahk#ahkmenrah x reader#female reader#rami malek's character#rami malek#NATM
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I got some feedback rejecting Billy kissing a *yuck* girl. those are massive cantaloupes. shot with the shrink ray in reverse, probably.
ICYMI and you're not a Quizboy lore obsessive, lonely Billy's "guilty pleasure" is "melon heated in a microwave."
That's canon— Venture Bros S02E04 Escape to the House of Mummies Part II
The TrueFan QuizStans want him Forever Alone... Melons or Nothing
#criticism#illustrator#illustration#billy quizboy#master billy quizboy#melon#melon heated in a microwave#watermelon#cantaloupe fucking#cantaloupe#kissing#kissing girls#kissing yuck#yuck#yucky girls#vbros#the venture brothers#venture bros#forever alone
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Essential Moroccan experiences you won't want to miss
Travel to the dominion of Morocco and you’ll encounter the thousands of years of history that dwell alongside the fast-paced lifestyles of the new millennium. From ancient medinas and Arabic dialects to bustling cities like Tangier and modern movie magic on desert studio lots, Morocco blends old and new during a way that always feels fresh.
Morocco rests atop of the African continent, right nearby to Europe’s the Iberian Peninsula. Additionally, it's the western fringe of the MENA (the Middle East and North Africa) region, hence the importance of its name – Morocco means “the west”, and likewise, the country may be a fusion of the intersecting cultures and geography which collide during this corner of the planet.
Whether it’s your first time to the Western Kingdom or a return visit, you’ll always find something new experience. Here are 10 of our absolute favorites.
Outdoor enthusiasts will love mountains, beaches, and deserts
If you are the quite traveler who prioritizes a destination’s natural wonders, Morocco features a vast number of regions to explore, from the Atlas Mountains to the rock archway of Legzira Beach. you'll search for fossils within Western Sahara or observe the unique ecosystems at the oasis near Ouarzazate to the south.
Trace the steps of a Greek demi-god in Cave of Hercules near Gibraltar, or head to Friouato Cave to require a dip in an underground river in Tazekka park east of Fez. You’ll see everything from goats perched high in olive trees to Catcus Thiemann, the world’s largest cactus farm north of Marrakech.
Morocco’s resplendent tombs
Morocco has been home to humankind for a minimum of 300,000 years, and unsurprisingly, that long history has resulted in many tombs and cemeteries well worth a visit. a number of them are very intricate and delightful, like the lavish Saadian Tombs or Mausoleum of Mohammed V, and therefore the recently renovated Mausoleum of Moulay Ismail. Others, just like the 14th-century ruins of the Merenid Tombs or Miaara Cemetery – the most important Jewish cemetery in Morocco – are fascinating places to find out more about Morocco’s past and the myriad of cultures.
Ancient ruins
While cities like Tangier and Rabat boast contemporary wonders like one among the fastest bullet trains in Africa and therefore the Mohammed VI modern art museum, you'll never quite escape the past in Morocco. shortly from the town of Meknes, you’ll find the Roman ruins of Volubilis, a predecessor city dating back to around the second century AD that's now a Unesco world heritage site.
Volubilis is one among many archeological treasures peeking out from corners everywhere the country, just like the Phoenician settlement of Lixus, dating back to the 7th century. The Roman historian Plinius claimed Lixus was home to the mythological garden of Hesperides, where consistent with myth Hercules stole the golden apples of data.
The medinas of Morocco
Even if you’ve never visited Morocco, you’ve probably heard of medinas or the oldest historic quarters of the many cities throughout the Arab world. getting into the medina is like taking a walk back in time, though these districts are still considered a neighborhood of lifestyle in Morocco.
The medina of Fez, also referred to as the Fes Al Bali is home to mosques, ancient buildings, and therefore the Kairaouine University. Kairaouine is that the oldest education institution within the world, and has been in continuous operation since the year 859. While it’s not the sole historic district within the city or maybe in Morocco, the medieval medina of Fez may be a Unesco World Heritage site, and permanently reason.
So are the medinas of Tetouan and Marrakech, which both have their own charms. Tetouan is particularly untouched by time and has ties to Spanish Andalucía, while the Marrakech medina is usually called “The Red City” for its warm ochre walls.
Perhaps the foremost picturesque Medinah in Morocco is that of Chefchaouen – a labyrinth of vibrant blue walls set within the countryside near the Rif mountains. no matter which medina you select, finding the kasbah (a central fortified watchtower) is typically easier than finding the answer.
Moroccan mosques
Morocco’s historic mosques are architectural gems also as centers of spiritual and community life. The Hassan II Mosque in Casablanca, as an example, is one among the world's largest mosques and is made on both land and sea. The Spanish Mosque in Chefchaouen was built, because the name implies, by the Spanish during a period of colonization within the 1920s, but the mosque was quickly abandoned after construction. Today it serves primarily as a hiking landmark from which the blue city is best viewed.
Another nearly-abandoned mosque is that the Hassan Tower in Rabat. The 12th-century minaret was intended to be a part of the most important mosque within the world, but the project was never finished. Even the Kairaouine University in Fez features a mosque as a part of its historic campus. While many active mosques are off-limits to non-Muslims, there are myriad older or incomplete mosques in Morocco which are hospitable tourists and house stories well worth discovering.
Gnawa music
Originally from West Africa, Gnawa may be a trance-inducing genre of music that feels spiritual and organic. Gnawa musicians are respected artists who incorporate poetry and dance in their moving performances. The music brings crowds to the tiny town of Essaouira per annum at the Gnawa World Music Festival. The event may be a must for anyone seeking opportunities to possess deep connections with nature et al. through art.
Atlas Film Studio
In Ouarzazate, Atlas Film Studio is that the world’s largest movie studio, where memorabilia from Star Wars, The Mummy, and Gladiator waste away within the desert sun. Cinephiles will love an opportunity to tour blockbuster film locations for classics from Casablanca to Game of Thrones. Even the Pirates of the Caribbean franchise filmed here, during a full circle from the real-life Barbary pirates who routinely sailed from the African coast across the Atlantic and back.
Souks and hammams
In a tradition as ancient as Morocco’s medinas, vendors gather every day in markets called souks to show over everything from fresh produce to meat, leathers, and residential decor. In some cities, like Marrakesh, there are sprawling souks specifically for various categories of products, from rugs and slippers to spices and metalwork.
While souks are scattered across every city and may be found in most medinas, the Habous market (also referred to as the New Medina) in Casablanca is one among the foremost well-known. Here craftsmen found out shops filled with handmade goods. Not too far from them, spiced olives season the breeze and just beyond the olives await more treats to be found.
After you’ve haggled it call at the souks, head to at least one of the general public bathhouses referred to as hammams. This tradition dates back to the sixth century and still lives on in Morocco. there's a spectrum of hammams that range from luxury to everyday bathing. Hammams are segregated by gender and typically employ individuals to wash and massage customers with a singular and thorough soap. As there are numerous hammams, it’s best to ask a guide or resident for recommendations within the city or neighborhood where you’re staying.
Morocco's famous mint tea
Outside of the country, Moroccan mint tea may be a name that’s slapped on countless labels of tea bags, though the steaming elixir is nearly a completely different drink. rather than being served during a mug, Moroccan tea warms clear glass cups that refract deep green bundles of freshly plucked leaves, herbs, and flowers. a typical order contains generous spoonfuls of sugar, but presumably one can expect a couple of extra cubes on the side of the saucer.
Learn Darija
Moroccan Arabic is usually considered one among the foremost difficult dialects of the entire language, perhaps because it’s so interspersed with a dizzying blend of French, Spanish, and Amazigh. Even within this umbrella term of Darija, there are multiple sub-dialects spoken in several regions of the country.
Darija is a smaller amount common in print but considerably alive in daily conversation. so as to navigate Morocco’s souks, cafes, and places of business, it's best to find out a touch Darija for a more authentic and fulfilling experience of Morocco. Classes are available at Arabic schools, though learning-as-you-go can make lasting memories also.
#morocco#marruecos#maroc#marocco#marokko#maghrb#northafrica#marrakech#moroccan cuisine#moroccan food#moroccantea#darija#souks#street#guide#travel#traveltips#hammams#atlas#atlasfilm#gnawamusic#mosques#medina#fez#Essential Moroccan experiences you won't want to miss
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Epic Movie (Re)Watch Master List
Epic Movie (Re) Watch #1: 007 Collection - Dr. No Epic Movie (Re) Watch #2: 007 Collection - From Russia with Love Epic Movie (Re) Watch #3: 007 Collection - Goldfinger Epic Movie (Re) Watch #4: 007 Collection - Thunderball Epic Movie (Re) Watch #5: 007 Collection - You Only Live Twice Epic Movie (Re) Watch #6.1: 007 Collection - On Her Majesty’s Secret Service Epic Movie (Re) Watch #7: 007 Collection - Diamonds are Forever Epic Movie (Re) Watch #8: 007 Collection - Live And Let Die Epic Movie (Re) Watch #9: 007 Collection - The Man with the Golden Gun Epic Movie (Re) Watch #10: 007 Collection - The Spy Who Loved Me Epic Movie (Re) Watch #11: 007 Collection - Moonraker Epic Movie (Re) Watch #12: 007 Collection - For Your Eyes Only Epic Movie (Re) Watch #13: 007 Collection - Octopussy Epic Movie (Re) Watch #14: 007 Collection - A View to a Kill Epic Movie (Re) Watch #15: 007 Collection - The Living Daylights Epic Movie (Re) Watch #16: 007 Collection - Licence to Kill Epic Movie (Re) Watch #17: 007 Collection - 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#Movie#Recap#Robots#The Book of Life#Chicago#Epic Movie (Re)Watch#Someone asked for this a while back#And it's just been sitting in my drafts#I haven't done any Epic Movie (Re)Watch posts in I think over a year so I thought I'd post this
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2018 Fic Writing Roundup
Tagged by @whythinktoomuch (thanks friend! I haven't been tagged in so many memes as well! 😂 it's been awesome ❤️❤️❤️)
Total 2018 Word Count: 288, 271 words (holy fuck balls lmfao and this isn't counting the stuff on tumblr that I didn't cross-post 😂😂😂)
Total 2018 Hits: 139, 823 (god that's mind-blowing)
Other 2018 AO3 Stats
Kudos - 7694
Comment Threads - 560
Bookmarks - 1427
Subscriptions - 1416
Links & Titles to 2018 Works:
1. how do you plan to go about (making amends to the dead) - “My mother didn't send me to Earth to fall in love with a human, have children, live in a house with a white picket fence. She sent me here to protect Kal-El. And now I will use my powers to protect the Earth. And if I die achieving that, I'm at peace with it. I'll join my mother. We'll be together in Rao's light.” - Kara Danvers.
2. your voice is pretty, baby (but i'd rather have your pretty skin instead) - "Kara shakes her head before adjusting herself on the couch to get into a more comfortable position. She decides to call Lena instead of replying to her text. Her heart flutters in her chest at the strong thump, thump, thump coming over the line when Lena accepts her call. “Hey you.” aka part ii and sequel to pick a blossom
3. we are one under a star - prompt: meeting at a masquerade ball au
4. one jump ahead of the hoofbeats - "Kara isn't having the best day. Her heart is racing fast and hard and she doesn't know how much longer she can run away from the palace guards. The loaf of bread that she st- liberated - from the baker’s stall is getting heavier by the second and she needs an escape since like, three blocks ago." aka the accidental Aladdin au
5. see how bright we shine - "Kara isn’t too sure what exactly is happening with her day. She knows that she has her Supergirl duties, if it was a weekday then there’s CatCo and then somewhere in between all of that, there’s Lena. There always has to be Lena in her day. It’s a rule, a very important rule. To make her day better, Lena must be in it." A twist on the fake dating trope
6. the brightest colours fill my head - "I do require some assistance.” There's a levity in Diana’s tone that lets her know that it isn't anything serious or life-threatening and so Kara sits back down in her chair. “Of course! Name it,” she replies easily, always so happy and willing to help a friend." Kara and Diana go out for dinner in the pick a blossom 'verse
7. Bet You Didn't Know That - What she doesn't know, she doesn't need to find out (also the faberry fic that took eight years to finish lmao BUT I FINISHED IT)
8. did you mean it (when you said i was pretty) - "Lena takes a deep breath to steady herself before she finally dares to look up. Dark blue eyes meet her gaze and she tries to swallow down the dry feeling in her throat, tries to see why Kara is looking at her like this because she's sure that friends don't do this." aka my own little twist on that friends with benefits au
9. we watch as our young hearts fade (into the flood) - Lena-centric one-shot where she takes a self-defense class
Favorite Fic
- I feel it might come as a surprise but the one-shot I did of Kara/Sam fake-dating just because I've wanted to write for them for the longest time. Fwb au does take a very close second just because of how much love it has gotten from so many people and that's been so humbling for me as a writer
Hardest Fic
- BYDKT has definitely been the hardest one just by the sheer fact that it took me eight years to finish and I was literally two chapters away from finishing it
Do you plan on taking prompts in 2019?
- I actually have a few prompts left in my inbox but I definitely would still take prompts anyway just so that it'd give me something more to do
What was the best thing about 2018?
- I'm gonna piggyback on Sunny's answer because for sure, the best thing has been befriending fic writers, complaining about procrastination and how hard words can be sometimes, giving/receiving sneak peeks into fics/chapters that haven't been published, sharing fic ideas that really basically start with "what do you think of" or shouting at each other to write something even though we have a gajillion other stories to write as it is. But oh! My favorite thing about befriending other writers is the love fest. I don't know how many conversations I've had with other writers just going like "omg I love your writing you're so gr9" and they're saying similar things right back. It's just so beautiful 😭
What was the worst thing about 2018?
- There really weren't a lot of bad things for me as a writer. Maybe the only really bad thing was not being able to follow through with writing as much as I wanted? But I feel I wrote so much more in 2018 than I ever had in any other year alone so... it's not so terrible lol
Any last thoughts for 2018?
- Good. Let's do more of that.
Goals for 2019:
- hopefully finish fwb au
- Pick a blossom prequel
- Also maybe finish my The Mummy au
- modern Romeo and Juliet au
- Amnesia au
- Kara runs a food blog au
- Alien activist Kara fic
- Maybe a Sam/Kara fic???
God so many 😂
Tagging:
@pippytmi, @swashbucklery, @storycharacter, @notamyope, @bitterbones87, @kendrene, @gveret-fic, @fromanothersun, @idontneedtobeforgiven, @wakefulstarss, @myheartisbro-ken, @spicycheeser, @thelnjames, @spaceman-earthgirl and all of my other writer mutuals/followers ❤️
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