#ep 6 will be one angsty episode and i'm so not ready :'(

[inventedfangirling]

What goes on inside Pat's head in eps 6/7?

Or what happens when the brain rot takes over.

Alright so without further ado let me get into the fact that i can't believe this is the first time im seriously thinking about it but what the hell must have all been going through Pat's mind during that gap between their first kiss, their bet on the beach and even beyond that up to that post curry-feeding kiss after his dramatic re-entry as Riam?

What was all going through his head? We know he's confused and hurt and frustrated, but he also doesn't want to push too much, but he also wants to know what goes on in Pran's head real bad and then the resolution he gets is that Pran clearly seems to like him too, like a heck of a lot, and his extreme backtracking so far back they cant even have a conversation ironically goes to prove just how much Pran was going though and now they have a bet and on the other end there is a relationship....

....there is a relationship right?

We know pat is sure of his own feelings. He likes pran. He wants to be with Pran. He wholeheartedly wants to go all in. And while he knows Pran likes him back, he knows that pran isn't sure (at that point) if he wants to even go in, let alone ALL in. So then what must have been his mindset while being the goofy boy who was constantly on teasing mode?

What was behind that smiling exterior, because one thing that the usually confident Pat is insecure about is when it comes to Pran and especially given what happened after the kiss, he must have become at least a tiny bit more wary? (Not really though cos we know Pat is a simple straightforward guy, and he knows that nobody not even his Pran can kiss like THAT without feelings, a guy who goes for what he wants and often acts before he thinks but for the sake of my spiral lets pretend) So then behind that exterior what was his best case scenario? They start dating. But what was his worst case scenario cos for pran, we know he chose the worst (in terms of their relationship) way out cos that seemed like the only one until pat refused to leave without talking about it.

But Pat won't make that choice to cut off ties (why the heck would he) and now that Pran is ready for the bet, Pran wouldn't either right? But what if pran decides to call off the bet in between? He wouldn't but what if pat randomly has that thought...in some lonely/ insecure moment what if that is one of the horrifyingly depressing thought he has...what if pran likes him more than everything and even that isnt enough because he just can't bring himself to take that step somehow?

Where does that leave him? Did he even have a backup plan for what would happen if their bet didn't work out? If pran didn't come around? What was he gonna do? Were they going to ignore each other? Not talk anymore? Not play around any more? What if each time he comes to play, underneath all the mischief and fun what if there's that underlying fear of what if it's the last time?

What if it's the last time i'm in his room? What if it's the last time he offers to feed me curry? What if it's the last time I get to help him out with something? What if it's the last time he makes me dinner? What if it's the last time he comes close when i ask him to? What if it's the last time he traces hearts on my face? What if it's the last time i get to touch him? What if it's the last time he looks at me like that?

Are we even comprehending the level of angsty mess Pat could have been that whole time? But he wouldn't be the Pat we (think we) know and love. He loves and he loves loud and he isn't thinking too much beyond their competition and getting Pran comfortable enough to get into a relationship (i could write whole essays about the level of emotional intelligence Pat shows when it comes to Pran especially in episodes 6 & 7, thats not what this is about tho) BUT we all have bad days and negative doom spirals.. who is to say Pat didn't!

Of course it probably wasn't as bad or dramatic as i am making it sound like cos Pran does reciprocate and Pran is not at all attempting to hide (in the same way we see pre episode 6) his feelings for Pat or his investment in the bet but still as long as the bet was on, nothing was set in stone. And also let's not forget just how much it must have hurt when wai came to hand off Pran's guitar. Pran's guitar that Pat had saved and polished and kept safe for him. The one he ran after him, holding. The one he kept safe in his home. His one piece of Pran that he held onto those 3 long depressingly lonely years. And Pran just gave it away to Wai like that? Wai? WAI!??

Look at my poor baby sitting there all alone with his thoughts, his heart breaking little by little and even then staying silent just so that he won't create trouble for Pran. Who is gonna answer for all of that!??? huh?

* Ooh boy and here come those heart squeezes again I CANT DO THIS ARGHHHH *

And despite all that he kept a mostly cheery exterior, trying to keep it fun and light for pran as much as possible?!?

Not all undermining the fact that patpran did have a heck of a lot of fun during their bet era, several essays worth of fun and meanings to unpack but that's not the point of this post

Like i'm sorry but there is simply no better man (boyfriend). But also no cos 1. he's fictional duh, there is NO one like pat irl, he's just an impossible version of a man cos despite all his flaws he really did what he did and 2. its actually not healthy what he's doing is it? Repressing his anxieties and radiating joy, equally bad as repressing joy and radiating anxiety like pran was doing, but (argh to sweep it all under the rug the way i usually do unlike patpran who talk shit though and therefore ofc they ended up happy)...

Because of course despite their anxieties both of them knew they could trust in each other and in their feelings for each other, and yes they built that trust over the years but it also was especially given impetus during the bet era so the bet was eventually going to have only a happy outcome but human brains can be weird and can play tricks on you and i was just thinking of the possibility of a time when pat's brain may have tricked him into a whole spiral and what if the bet wasn't as fun for pat as i initially thought it was and now here we are.

[coloremoving]

(´;︵;`)

[fategoflatass]

final thoughts · spring 2022

all my final thoughts on the spring 2022 season, in case someone cares about them.

aharen-san wa hakarenai (7/10)

i enjoyed this show so much! loveable protagonist who form an even more loveable couple and loveable secondary characters. both op and ed are iyashikens by themselves. fully recommend.

bubble (4/10)

beautiful art, gorgeous animation, good music... and that's it. the characters are totally forgetable, the movie couldn't convince me that there was any romance there, and they forgot to unveil the mystery behind the bubbles. so many questions with no answers, plot holes, and a weird mix between the little mermaid and god knows what.

dance dance danseur (7/10)

an enjoyable show about ballet. took me back to those days where i wanted to attend to ballet classes and... glad i didn't lol. the art was beautiful, no complains about the animation, loved the op and ed, ruo best bitch.

deaimon (7?/10)

chill show about sweets and parenting (kind of). not that it's boring, i just didn't pay enought attention to it. i have no reasons to not recommend, i mean... itsuka is adorable.

gunjou no fanfare (5.5/10)

i love horses. well, i love animals in general. when i saw that this show was coming up i inmediately added it to my planning list (and bc sawano was there ngl). i actually liked the first episode, then i remember liking some random scenes... and that's it. my brain dozes off everytime i watch it and, at this point, i'm way too lost to fully understand what's going on.

heroine tarumono!: kiraware heroine to naisho no oshigoto (7/10)

truly enjoyable show about hiyori, juri, and i think idols. eps 10 and 11 had me rolling from how angsty i felt about them, althought that won't change all the fun i had before that shitshow. honeyworks are *chef's kiss*, nagisa best boy, and that's pretty much it.

kaguya-sama wa kokurasetai: ultra romantic (8.5/10)

our favorite tsunderes strike again with another season and holy fuck. i think this is the best season yet! i'm up to date with the manga, so i know what will happen and trust me, y'all aren't ready. i myself am not ready bc last episode will be a whole hour long. imma die.

kawaii dake ja nai shikimori-san (4/10) [DROPPED]

idk what i was expecting, but definitely not this. the protagonist (whose name i forgot, that's how relevant he is) has no personality whatsoever besides being a weak ass bitch who depends on his mother babysitter girlfriend, shikimori who isn't just a cutie but also a badass... kind of. they have no chemistry, the secondary characters i couldn't care less, blah blah blah. each episode felt like it was an hour long and honestly, there's a limit to self-hatred. wouldn't recommend at all, unless you wanna hate-watch or something, idk.

koi wa sekai seifuku no ato de (6.5/10)

loveable characters and also, pretty cute couple. the art somehow reminds me of 2010's deviantart. i didn't find it as enjoyable as other shows on this list, although i would still recommend it if you're looking for something new.

komi-san wa, komyushou desu. 2 (6/10)

this entire show is the embodyment of a six. i prefer this season over the first one because 1) the main relationship gets more development and 2) there're some secondary characters here that i actually find fun and would like to befriend. tadano is the best character and i fully believe in osana supremacy.

love all play (5/10)

because i always give chances to sports anime, idk why. this is mediocricy: the series. mediocre story, mediocre characters, i guess the animation is fine? heard ryman's club wipes the floor with this and honestly, i choose to believe that. yusa could've been a good character, but was wasted being a one-dimentional asshole who is a prodigy just because and has so much ego he has been called to participate in blue lock. anyway.

otomege sekai wa mob ni kibishii sekai desu (5/10)

i was curious about the premise, but it ended up being a boring power fantasy anime. idk what i was expecting honestly. i know there're good isekais out there, i just haven't found them yet. the girlies like the protagonist because... he's a sadistic asshole, maybe? they also agree on sharing him, like he's some sort of dress that fits both of them. the animation is... something. nice op tho.

paripi koumei (8/10)

yes. YES. YES. i absolutely adore this one! each episode felt as it was five minutes long, the songs are bangers, the characters are amazing, it's just perfect! if you haven't watch it yet, what are you waiting for?? eiko is an absolute fave and kabe kills it everytime.

shokei shoujo no virgin road (5/10) [DROPPED]

honestly, i don't remember much of it besides there being yuri in it, and time manipulation. dropped it because it got boring.

SPY×FAMILY (8.5/10)

i love her. same as paripi koumei, each episode feels like it's five minutes long. the characters are amazing, the animation is wow, it's funny, endearing, loveable and specially unforgetable. i could describe my feelings for each and every character, but it would take me so long. the op and ed are absolute bangers, future rewatch. already hyped for the second cour!

tomodachi game (7/10)

don't you love your friends? because i love mines, they're beautiful people. i know they're loyal, that they would never lie or hide things from me, and most importantly; not even one of them would ever involve me in some sort of sick game like tomodachi game. you can't trust anyone in this show, and i like that. cmon, gimme some good trust issues! yuuichi is... he should be studied, for real.

vampire in the garden (6/10)

the definition of mid. it's setting placed in russia during a war and honestly, i'm into it. now, the show is boring, i couldn't connect with the characters. it's not like i was falling asleep, but still. could've been better, but she wasn't. couldn't care less about what happened to them, and wouldn't rewatch.