#end of life drama again
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these urges are so fucking bizarre and foreign.
what animal has a brain screaming to annihilate itself so violently? I want to bash my head in, scar my legs and then cut open my stomach just to Get Away
#well- what animal does/doesn't do that while under continued torment? idk#tw suicide ig#but people belong in prison for what they did Hi Guys!! btw if ur lurkin on my merkin or w/e#there's no reason just to destroy my own life if I'm committed to this. I gotta do the paperwork abt GUNS also being threatened with gun#also the twitch peeps who .... Well. [reeeeeedacted]#thank god my blood relatives never cared I was alive. I won't need a funeral so I can do really fucked up DIYdies#spoon you can have money to give to your peeps but the new deal is I stab you in a place that isn't necessarily fatal before you kill me#jk Luka come over and get your linen shit back and we'll settle scores - bring a lawyer#end of life drama again#this year ooof#I wish I could shoot myself on a live stream
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I know the decision to have Julian's parents have him augmented was made on the fly but imo its pretty obvious from early on that Julian has Family Issues because he avoids talking about his family like the plague and I think they should've incorporated this into the Julian and Sisko dynamic right from early on because I think it would've made for some really compelling stories and moments and could've set up a REALLY interesting Julian and Jake dynamic which they kinda started to do but never fully went for
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#benjamin sisko#jake sisko#s1 Julian being so young and eager to prove himself and latching onto Sisko as this mentor figure to look up to#seeing Sisko with Jake and low-key seeking that fatherly figure connection which he won't even let himself think about#Sisko seeing this young brilliant doctor who's got all the makings to be something great and he's just GOTTA help him along#I think he would also catch on pretty quick that Julian's got Parental Issues#he tries to ask one day all casual like 'tell me about yourself :)' and Julian talks about nothing but Starfleet and med school#any attempts to ask about his family are met with awkward brief answers and redirections#and then theres the way Julian's eyes light up the first time Sisko invites him to watch a baseball game#like he Knows. he's a dad he Knows somethings up#but he doesnt pry#I also think it makes their dynamic more tragic towards the end of the series#where we have Sisko asking Julian to compromise his morals again and again#Julian's trust and respect for him gradually deteriorating#and then at the end of course Sisko is gone and they have no idea when he'll be back#which I think Julian would have a lot of complicated feelings about#but of course theres also Jake#I imagine they'd get closer#very brotherly dynamic#you know that scene in TNG where Wesley goes to Riker for girl advice and Riker and Guinan start flirting?#absolutely happens but with Jake asking Julian for girl advice and Julian wooing a girl at Quark's and Jake absolutely loses the plot#makes the events of ...Nor the Battle to the Strong more intense as well I think#also I like to think there'd be an episode where the B plot is Jake gets mad at Sisko and impulsively decides to move out#ends up at Julian's because he did not think this through#Julian is now very much caught in the middle of this family drama and he Fucking Hates It#also him and Jake are NOT compatible roommates but he's trying so so hard to be nice#eventually they have a talk and Julian cryptically hints at his own home life and tells Jake he's lucky he has a dad who cares so much#them being closer would work into what Alone Together sets up for them
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I love the QSMP. Not only has it introduced me to many amazing international creators, it's also introduced me to the French and Brazilian community, who are so sweet, funny, and chaotic in their own unique ways. I love seeing fans sharing their culture and learning from one another, and I myself have learned a lot this past year. I think it's incredible how QSMP brings so many different people together – all of us united in our love and passion for this project and its goals.
But passion can often evoke strong emotions, and these strong emotions aren't always positive.
The past few months, I have seen multiple waves of hate, bad-faith generalizations of communities, and racist remarks directed at fellow fans – especially those who are part of the French / Brazilian community. This kind of behavior is inexcusable, and is in direct conflict with the mission of QSMP, which is to break language barriers and unite communities.
We are a global community with a variety of people from different backgrounds. Miscommunications may occasionally occur because of cultural differences and/or language barriers, but we should use these moments as opportunities to learn and engage with other people rather than assuming the worst about them and starting fights.
Although certain issues can be resolved with communication, sometimes it’s better to block and move on. Avoid spreading negativity or hate, and save yourself the headache of interacting with people who are just looking for someone to argue with.
No matter what community we're a part of or what languages we speak, we're all here to have fun. Please remember to be kind to each other. We have more in common than we have in conflict.
#QSMP#mod talk#Additionally: we should avoid stereotyping entire communities for reasons I hope are obvious.#I think everything will work out in the end#I don't typically see this kind of stuff on here but I figured I'd post this anyways since I'm posting it to Twitter too#It's understandable that emotions are high because of everything that's happened to the QSMP community the past few months#but it's very sad to see fans attacking each other#everyone's a bit on edge it seems. I rarely use my personal Twitter but I opened it today and saw some close mutuals snapping at people#then after stepping away and calming down coming back to a conversation and apologizing#it's sad to see everyone in this state#So... comments from the peanut gallery I suppose. I do hope this helps someone though#I don't usually post things like this because frankly-#I don't think every single drama / controversy / whatever necessitates a public statement from every single member of the fandom#but I've been thinking a lot about this#Anyhoo. Hopefully I can start sharing clips again tomorrow. I've been moving the past week and life was hellish#hopefully things ease up a bit now
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So I l’ve been getting into your ko crisis story lately (it all sounds rlly awesome btw) and i was curious - you’ve said in the tags in a previous ask that ash is comphet, so is that gonna play a major role in her character arc/journey in any way?
Yeah, the story basically covers her journey of redefining her identity as a queer Asian-American disabled woman in a sports-entertainment industry, which is a media landscape that specifically targets, exploits, and fetishizes people like her.
#ask me#itsthequeercryptid#i don't have much more to say on this cuz as of right now it's in like. early early development process and i'm not a queer woman so#i don't have much authority to say how i want this part of the story to go. even if it's my story i don't wanna set anything in stone yknow#but like. ashley's arc is realizing that she's been performing to appease people both in and out of her life. as both a daughter and a#pro boxer. and that she shouldn't have to force herself to be someone she's not. which in the story continuously hurts her#she doesn't need to validate her existence and find worthiness as a disabled and queer woman#especially to other people#one story beat i drafted is that ashley nearly gets s/a'd by a potential agent (keep in mind the project's inspired by psychological dramas#thrillers like utena and perfect blue) and it's one of the first big moments that causes her to have a crisis of identity#growing less and less comfortable in her skin - both organic and nonorganic - as she realizes how her body is perceived/ exploited/#/objectified as a vehicle for inflicting and absorbing violence. both physical and sexual. especially by men#and near the end of the story the beat is reflected/flipped when she comes together with noora and it's gentle and intimate#but again this is all very iffy. i'm not sure how appropriate this would be as a male writer.#i'm waiting to work with other writers who are more knowledgable on this before moving forward with anything
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Apologies
#shadowpeach#six eared macaque#sun wukong#lmk#lego monkie kid#monkey king#liu'er mihou#I just think it'd be neat if they apologized to each other and then cried and hugged about it#(cuz on god they both have some shit they should get off their chests and own up to)#like holy blue hells they're both just like “I think i shall spend my immortal life ruminating on my greatest regret and letting it fester”#everytime i watch the scene where Macaque is like:#“its good to talk about feelings! obv i don't do it”#i turn into the hands on hips guy meme#DUDE GO TO THERAPY#wukong too lets be real#been reading jttw the west (haven't actually gotten to where SEM shows up in the book yet tho)#and i think that if therapy existed back then tripitaka and sha wujing would've been gently but firmly#herding wukong into the local therapist's waiting room in as many towns they pass as possible#he'd probly grab the door frame and have to be literally pried off#these hypothetical ancient-chinese therapists all have claw marks on the hallways and doors going into their offices#hey how about an au where shadowpeach get therapists who end up getting all the monkey drama news first#and end up on the business-rivals-to-drinking-buddies pipeline#stopped while drawing this like “hey why'd i make mac be touching wukong's face in both sketches?”#and then i remembered that between the two mac's the one who wants to be something to the other#to the point of desperation#its like if they're both cats who got coned swk is the one who sits there miserably accepting his fate#while mac is that one video of the tuxedo cat shrieking and trying to paw it off#i'd read the hell out of a fic where they end up swapping attitudes about their dynamic#in canon wukong's the one who seems like he would like to never see mac again (at times) even tho he really regrets it and it hurts#like mac just gives up on trying to convince himself he can make swk see him as a significant part of his life again
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⟢ highlight of the hour: flex x cop [12/16] ⟣
well-deserved
#flex x cop#korean drama#ahn bo hyun#park ji hyun#fxchoth#mmkfav#mygif#wow this ep was so good i had such a hard time picking a hoth scene!!#i luv lgh so much#putting her life at risk in this mission#honoring her dad's name and legacy and reputation#jys also risking his life to help her out and trusting her#the rest of the team working together to save lgh and jys#jys and lgh's parents showing their love for them in their own ways#then dad's ceremony at the end and how it all came full-circle#like there were so many good parts in this ep!!#it was such a good action-packed and wholesome ep!!#fxc coming through once again!#but sheesh we cant even just breathe for a sec before the drama moves on to the next case asdkjfd#only 2 more weeks left with this drama :((#i need it to have multiple seasons!!
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Resident Evil Albert Wesker Headcanon
Wesker lies awake at night because the ghosts of the dead ⭐S.T.A.R.S.⭐ members haunt his thoughts. He can't sleep because he sees their faces in front of him. Deep down, he regrets that he betrayed them, to be responsible for their deaths.
That's it...that is the post.
#Do with it whatever you like#Sorry just a little bit sorry#angst#hurt#In my head he was a good Captain#It all could have ended otherwise#GIVE ME STARS CONTENT CAPCOM#I will do it myself one day and write my STARS The Office Comedy fic#but first all the hurt drama angst and smut!#S.T.A.R.S.#resident evil#albert wesker#wesker#re1#Captain Albert Wekser#Capcom#biohazard#judasiskariot#me#mine#Headcanon#headcanons#Resident evil headcanon#Albert Wesker Headcanon#Deep down he knows it was the happiest time in his life and it will never be like this again#they loved him#and he loved them in his ways#just some hurt and angst for this nighttime
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#it should be noted that I tried distracting myself from wanting to be dead in a hole and no longer have teeth or shame or the horrors#by watching Grey’s Anatomy#because other people’s made up drama is better than whatever my brain is giving me right now#and I ended up watching an episode where a major character#has a dental abscess that gives her a bacterial heart infection and heart attack and all the complications that follow.#I would just like to say#fuck my life#I KNOW THIS IS FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS#I JUST#WANT TO ***#RATHER THAN EVER DEAL WITH TEETH EVER AGAIN IN MY LIFE#I’ll never forgive my mom and my old dentist and hygienists for being ‘kind’ but shaming me so much for so many years without ever once help#*helping me#what was I supposed to do with that?#I can’t hate myself into taking better care of my teeth#and it’s such a beast to overcome that I barely make a dent before something throws me off the bandwagon and I’m terrified to even feel that#I have a mouth all over again!!!#shh katie#there’s no way that one of my teeth at least will be savagely#*salvagable#it needed a root canal in 2021 there’s no way#but if I need teeth pulled I genuinely will spiral#it’s the ultimate shame#EVEN THOUGH PEOPLE IN OUR FAMILY HAVE HAD TO HAVE THAT DONE#even though my mom and sister have had tons of cavities!#it was never allowed for ME#I was supposed to be the PERFECT one#who never ever had any of the issues my older siblings or parents did#and it’s all taken as me not caring or being lazy or being stupid and uninformed and it’s NOT#I DON’T WANT TO LIVE LIKE THIS EITHER CAN NO ONE UNDERSTAND THAT
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Van as storyteller. Van, with a miserable home life, a place where she has to raise herself. Van, who’s probably been telling herself stories to ward off the loneliness for years. Van, who sees stories as escape.
Van, who lands in the woods and starts telling stories aloud. Van, who has all these movies living inside her head, who lets them out to make everyone else feel less alone. Van, who takes a campfire dynamic and turns the dial to eleven, because stories are comfort, stories are safety, stories are home.
Van, who understands more than anyone expects expressly because of stories. Van, who sees the situation through the lens of a narrative arc. Beginning. Middle. End. Van, who watches the plot unfold, watches the twists and turns, and can’t stop telling the story aloud. Van, who knows all too well what kind of story they’ve landed in.
Van, who can’t stop telling the story now. Van, who sees the truth behind the tale. Van, who is finally done regurgitating the narratives that bring her comfort, who turns instead to the ones that will keep them alive. Van, who understands stories are sometimes the only way out, the only way to escape.
#yellowjackets#yellowjackets spoilers#yj meta#van palmer#it’s so fascinating because Shauna IS their scribe. she records the events. but she keeps that story locked down tight#it’s VAN who tells the story where others can hear. VAN who sits at the fire and gives them somewhere to go#and it’s Van who both understands the narrative of their new life and sets them all up to embrace it#ask Lottie to give blessings. embrace the weight of unexplainable shit. hold up the queen of hearts. kickstart the hunt.#and when she goes home it is once again to a story#the story of the girl who got away. the story of the 90s-era dream of opening a video store.#the story that has no room in the script for relationship drama or unpaid bills#just keep telling it. keep telling it. keep yourself going in the hopes the end will make sense.#some of these posts and tags are gonna repeat I’m sure but I’m just. fucking obsessed#I also NEED to see some of Van’s childhood. or her talking about it. something.
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This isn't about any one event in particular, but sometimes I wish people would meaningfully differentiate gossiping about something and actually Doing Something that's positive and productive. I'm not condemning the very human desire to gossip, and I'm cerainly not immune to the draw of wanting in on the hot goss, but rubbernecking and rubbing your hands with glee at an unfolding trainwreck is not the same thing as taking a stand or helping people, and declining to rubberneck or not taking pleasure in it is not the same thing as refusing to take a stand.
#it's like... when the j*mes s/omm*rt/on thing broke that was about how rampant unchecked plagiarism and misinformation is on youtube#I don't think it was supposed to be 'let's ruin this specific guy's life and laugh'#I have absolutely no desire to watch drama channel recaps about what happened in the fallout of the videos exposing him#because that's just meanspirited gossip that is **completely besides the point**#which was to hold youtubers to higher standards of citing sources#and to hold *yourself* to higher standards of scepticism about accepting random bullshit you heard online as unquestioned truth#this specific guy did incredibly harmful and shitty things but I don't want to hound him to the ends of the earth eternally punishing him#what good does that do?#how does that prevent plagiarism and misinformation from being spread?#it doesn't#it just appeals to the same kind of thing that made people throw rotten vegetables at people in the stocks#and again I just mention this incident as a 'for instance' because I'm talking about a recurring thing rather than any one thing
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When I was first watching this, my heart was pounding. This is just so highly anticipated that when it was happening, I just could not help but be carried away, and with the background music.. it was like magic! I have been listening to it so much since.
#长月烬明#Till The End Of The Moon#TTEOTM#Tantai Jin#Li Susu/Ye Xiwu#cdrama#cdramaedit#myedit#I just had to post the video because the BGM just make a big difference!#again this drama is taking over my life!!!
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Another uncommon shipping I think would work is Sonia and Nagito. She seems very pleased the way his eyes lit up during the trial like hers do during horror movies and she stuck up for him later on too. I’m a little afraid of him having that much power though…
Ahaha I actually had an au for them post-graduation in a non-despair time in which Nagito is traveling to Novoselic after having won a cruise trip there. And, though he would have avoided long travel, considering that his old classmate happened to be ruling said kingdom, Nagi thought he’d take the risk in order to get a chance to see her in action (plus he’s wanted to see the kingdom after learning so much about it through Sonia). Surprisingly nothing too catastrophic happens on the way and Nagito has a pleasant time taking in the sights. However, he starts noticing that not everything is rainbows and sunshine in Novoselic, and in fact many of its citizens seem rather displeased by the current government. This becomes all too clear when, during a public appearance/announcement made by none other than Sonia herself, Nagito overhears copious jeers towards the princess and even has to step in to stop someone from throwing a shoe at her—the scene causing Nagito’s presence in the kingdom to be known to Sonia. Sonia has a guard escort Nagito to her home, feeling utterly embarrassed of having him witness such a thing. It doesn’t take long for her to come clean of Novoselic’s troubles—more specifically the staggering amount of people who find her inadequate to rule and are opposed to her upcoming coronation. Sonia admits that she’s been lost in what to do ever since her parents sudden passing and feels she’s starting to agree with her citizen’s thoughts of being a failure of a ruler. She’s truly considering giving the crown to her cousin whom some of the citizens are supporting. Nagito’s heart went out to her, knowing fully well the feeling of losing one’s parents so unexpectedly, but to also be expected to lead a nation right after? My god the amount of stress must be astounding. To see the Ultimate Princess this…broken…it was blasphemous. And like hell he’s going to let her give up her crown and fall to despair—not if he can do anything about. So, Nagito offers his services. He reminds Sonia of what great things she’s done and is capable of doing, but what she really needs is support—someone on her corner. And though he may be a lowly nobody, he DOES understand a thing or two about politics (and manipulation). He’ll be her shoulder to cry on so she can turn to her citizens with a collected and confident face. He’ll be her test run when she’s unsure of an idea. He’ll be her eyes and ears to keep track of the masses and their tidying. He’ll be her anything and everything she needs in order to be the best beacon of Hope she can be. And my god does he really mean it.
Of course, this au wasn’t simply going to be a hurt/comfort with a happy ending. Oh no, no, not with Nagito. It would soon get twisted and quite complicated as many things do with him. And their ever intertwining relationship will set Sonia forth as a queen that Novoselic with surely remember.
Oh my god this ask really unlocked these old ass memories of this au that I legit just came up with after listening to Imagine Dragon’s “Enemy” once ☝️ I was like “but what if Nagito becomes Sonia’s advisor and makes her Novoselic’s most notorious ruler??” I didn’t think I still remembered this much of it but here we are lol
#I once again lament the fact that I do not have the attention span to write a multichap fic#this would definitely have been a slow burn--them slowly bonding especially over their dead parents#the mutual attraction growing#would have been rated: E for every time we touch I get this (sexual) feeling#i just imagine like…Mahiru visiting Novoselic as a photo journalist and then#being flabbergasted at seeing Nagito as Sonia’s advisor#she arrives later as the voice of reason to try to make Sonia notice#how manipulative he is and how questionable some of her actions are#but Mahiru is an outsider too and doesn’t always know the full situation#nor know how hard it is to rule an entire kingdom that still has group of people#who disliked your existence even before taking the crown and have attempted to assassinate you#there would be so much drama lololol#I think I had two endings: one where Sonia and Nagi end up together as King and Queen and have a relatively happy ending#and another that ends tragically with the citizens revolting and taking Sonia’s life a la 18th century France#im so sorry if you wanted an analysis this au just kinda…took over…#nmbh0051#danganronpa#komaeda nagito#sonia nevermind#sonagito#fala replies#a e i o queue
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/ vent
#man I hate being the expendable one#always the “odd one out”#the group I usually hang out and do class group projects with is conformed of 4 people not counting myself#and the teachers always want to make groups of four people#so of course I'm the one who gets put to the side#and has no choice but to make the projects and assignments with the rest of the people who don't have a group#who are usually fucking useless and I end up doing most of the work myself!#it happened to me in six grade#I had a problem with my middle school group and the teacher let me do all of the assignments alone for the remaining time#which was alright w me because there was no drama and just old reliable me to work with#then I did assignments with this other girl as a pair and it was nice actually#and then we got to the last year of high school and I was part of a larger group again and it was great!#the first time I didn't feel expendable in a group since- idk fourth grade?#but it was the last year of high school ofc so I graduated that and now I'm in college with the same old problem#and y'know it's not that I don't get it#I'm not their friend. I just hang out with them during college hours#and I don't want to be their friend either. I don't feel comfortable being that close with them#I don't consider anyone a friend for that reason. If I don't feel like I can open up to you then you are not my friend#so I get it it's fair I GET IT#I miss our first year at college. we were all the same amount of “close” to each other and there weren't any strong preferences yet#we were “us five” instead of “them four”#and it's frustrating because again. I don't want to be their friend#I just don't want to feel alone#or excluded...#and it's not like I can get in with other group because those are also already conformed as well!#*sighs*#I hate my stupid baka life#ray talks about.💫#vent#personal stuff
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Is this anything
#mmmmmmm yeah this is a main blog post#nia you’ve made this joke like 50 times already can you stop it maybe?#okay we get it the pretty noblewoman starts losing it after finding out her husband cheats on her. move on#the answer is no :) I will keep hammering in this comparison until I am physically forced to stop#and by physically I mean the fact I’m probably playing with fire by posting Summiya with half her tit out for like the third time#oh well. it’s been okay so far so let’s hope it will continue being so#aaaaanyway#I was absolutely not thinking of Hatice when I came up with Summiya and drew this piece but the vibes are there and comparison checks out#and I am absolutely not complaining because this means I get to spread some turkish soap opera fungus to my beloved partner in crime#hi Kat :)#Hatice may not be my favourite character. far from it in fact. it’s hard being a Nigar stan in this world 😔#as well as a firm believer that the show lied and that Nigar lived the rest of her life out in Sulina with her Esmanur#but tbh denying deaths happening at the end of season 3 in a mediocre early 2010s show is kinda my modus operandi at this point#who’s surprised? no one. absolutely nobody#….I got off topic again#ANYWAY don’t come @ me for Hatice’s death date I got like 3 different results when I looked it up#and went with the one that appeared in more than one source#also I’m not a historian I’m simply a lover of harem dramas and beautiful princesses with disorders#and comparing them to my vast network of avatarverse OCs#I realise this post is completely incomprehensible to everyone but Kat and me. but when has that ever stopped me before?#target audience of one and I like it that way#anyway I should probs quit my deranged ramblings and go eat something#ask me who Hatice sultan is I dare you#the legend of korra#original character#Summiya#Kat and Nia and their multiverse of madness#magnificent century#muhteşem yüzyıl#hatice sultan
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Every time tantai jin and xi wu interact i can't stop thinking of this scene.....you go babes, live your truth <3
#till the end of the moon#again: i can't believe they went as dark & sexy as they did!!! honestly thought they wouldn't be able to give the novel justice and yet#this drama has taken over my life bye#长月烬明#tantai jin x su su#cdrama
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I need a massive sudden hyperfixation shock to happen again
#that era when i'd just got out of the onceler divorce of summer 2021. and then listened to everywhere at the end of time in october#and it was ruining my life and i couldn't sleep and there was nothing really good happening#like it wasn't Bad bc at least i wasn't depressed anymore like i was in the summer but it was still just dead. and i couldn't get#the last 6 minutes of eateot out of my head#and then. suddenly. got shot with the *blurry screenshot of stan and kyle as adults* beam#south park post covid trailer released. everyone who had ever been in that fandom was awakening from their graves#it was like 'future episode??' 'why have they got noses' 'what the fuckkkk' 'is anything real anymore?' etc#it was such big news that it instantly shocked me out of my existential crisis and reawakened that hyperfixation for the 9347384th time#and i vividly remember going on tumblr the morning after it aired and trying to avoid spoilers bc i hadn't watched it yet#but i accidentally saw a sentence something along the lines of 'kenny's a billionaire philanthropist now' and. ok i had to see a picture?#so i did and he looked like the epitome of a cool uncle#and then i was walking to uni that morning probably looking like i was crying or something bc like. kenny successful future#and the whole thing just brought my general mood up so much?? so by the time it was 2022 i was absolutely fine#and then 2022 was so good. up until like august and september#and things got a bit dangerous again like my mood was alright but the slightest thing could bring it down#and then my best friend/housemate got a girlfriend and it was that whole drama and her existence basically ruined my last year of uni#and since then i've become so bitter and cynical and all victimy and it's so annoying and i don't even realise i'm doing it#so now i only ever notice negative things happening and have done since like the end of 2022#and i just need one of my old hyperfixations to do something insane again. like sp post covid.#i need. idk victor hugo to come back to life and publish notre dame de paris 2. or something#or for pip to come back to south park. that would actually fix me forever tbh#or the golden ratio to announce they're touring the uk for free. okay no ykw that would fix me#orrrrrrrrr idk. secret history made into a film but it's actually good#anyway. the south park kids as adults with noses set off an entire like 8 months of Pure Optimism in 2022 and i need her back more than ever#ramble
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