#either the original or the Weird Al cover

[joelsmochi]

honeypie - joel miller

summary: part 2 to honey (can be read as a standalone, doesn’t have much to do with the original plot!) warnings: not proofread, 18+, slight angst?, age gap (everyone is legal!!!!!), bickering/arguing, double date trope womp womp, degradation, dubcon, creampie, joel is a smidge misogynistic insecure and possessive wc: 2.6k a/n: this is mainly just some self indulgent yet rushed storytelling (so sorry, i wrote it in an hour because i was bored at work lol)! i wanna write a part 3 and actually include the beekeeping a little more but i have nooo idea how i’m gonna do it but we WILL get there one day babes!!! until then, enjoy this fluffy angsty sex 😽!!!💓

series masterlist | main masterlist

-

“If you guys are gonna bang when I’m in the house the least you could do is be quiet!” You heard Sarah shout from the other side of Joel’s bedroom door after banging on it.

Joel grimaced, his body tensing beneath you but you were almost oblivious to the complaints of your best friend. Almost.

You didn’t let up on your movements or noises whatsoever and as much as Joel loved those sweet little moans spewing from you as you humped against him, he loved his privacy much more especially when it came to his daughter.

You shook your head profusely when he attempted to get you to stop, insisting on how you were almost there.

“Soclosesoclosesoclose—just w-wait, I’m cu—fuck. Ahh, fuck, I’m cumming. Oh yes! Yesyesyesyesyes! Ohh—oh, my God—“

Joel covered your mouth with a clammy hand, feeling torn from his mixed feelings of lust and embarrassment.

Going downstairs didn’t help him feel any better either, especially when Sarah began berating you both, not that he blamed her for it.

“Call it payback for all the times I let you and your boyfriend have sex in my bed,” you retorted.

“In your bed?!” Joel mumbled to himself.

“Yeah yeah, could have at least waited until I was gone,” Sarah muttered.

“Sorry, Sar,” you hummed, “your dad is just really hot.”

She scoffed, rolling her eyes. “Come on, man.”

“I didn’t even know you were home,” Joel complained. “You’ve been with Jared or whatever his name is all week.”

Sarah’s squinted her eyes, annoyed by the lack of care from her father. “Alex. His name is Alex dad—see, I hate this!”

“Oh, by the way, Sarah,” you said, pattering behind the kitchen counter, “wouldn’t use the open jar of honey if I were you.”

“UGH! EW! Fucking ew!”

♡

“Other than the obvious,” Sarah mumbled, “how’s my dad taking care of you?”

You wore a bright smile and looked away from your reflection momentarily. Joel was… Joel. Rough around the edges but he was a genuine person, confident in the external reality but a little insecure. Not unbearably insecure though, just enough to make you know he was trying his best.

He wasn’t the most romantic but you figured it was just from him being out of the game for so long and you knew you could train him to be more romantic if it was needed.

He didn’t push you aside or make attempts to subtly suggest you needed to leave after sex either; he’d pout real big and give you those gorgeous puppy dog eyes until you held him. He loved making you laugh.

But it definitely still felt like just sex rather than a relationship. You weren’t particularly complaining, but you weren’t bragging about it either.

“Good,” you answered.

Sarah could tell from your tone how honest it was. Good meant great, happy, damn near perfect.

“Good. I’m glad,” she said. “I was worried he’d be like one of those incels that get real creepy and pervy after thirty-five.”

“No, no, he’s great,” you reiterated. “He’s very funny. Smart. He asks me to tan in my bikini while he’s working on the hive or the yard.”

You watched from the corner of your makeup coated eye how tightly she grimaced.

“Images. In head. Don’t want them there,” she dramatized.

“I have to hear every last detail about you and Al up to where he’s shoving your cervix into your stomach. You can deal with a little sexiness from us,” you said.

“It’s just so weird,” she whined.

“Do you want me to stop seeing him?” You asked.

You had slowly began to worry about how this would affect your best friend over time, you knew it was a weird situation. You had no issue cutting Joel off if it meant Sarah got to be happy. There were other men in the world, there weren’t other Sarah’s.

“No, God! No. It’s just not as simple as I was expecting. You know?” She explained kindly.

“Totally! I’d be weirded out if you were hooking up with my dad while I was across the hall. I’m not blaming you there, or anywhere for that matter. Just know you come first.”

“Well, yeah, who else is going to wax your back hair and not judge you for it?” She teased.

You rolled your eyes at her.

“Lots of men with weird fetishes.”

♡

“Can’t believe I agreed to this,” Joel huffed.

He adjusted the waistband of his jeans making his shoulder briefly flare. You let your mind wander while Joel complained about the double date you had arranged with Sarah and Alex. You were currently waiting in the parking lot for them to arrive.

“It’ll be fun. You’ll get to meet Alex and see he is a respectable man and you and I get to pretend we’re a couple for a few hours.”

“Pretend?” Joel questioned. “W-what do you mean pretend? Are we not together?”

“Uh, no?” You said.

Joel didn’t appreciate your amused reaction and questioned you a little more.

“You never asked me to be your girlfriend— you haven’t even taken me on a date,” you explained. “Did you really think that conversation wasn’t necessary?”

“So if we’re not together then what is this?”

You sucked your teeth before simply saying, “Sex.”

Once the four of you were inside Sarah and her boyfriend felt the tension between the two of you.

You watched Joel punch in all of your names into the keypad before pressing ‘start game’.

“So Alex, what do you do for work?” Joel asked.

“Oh, well right now I’m working at a café downtown, but I’m majoring in political science to become a lawyer.”

“A lawyer?” Joel sounded impressed.

“Lawyers are great at communicating,” you antagonized. “They know what questions are… Important to ask.”

Joel rolled his eyes and motioned between you and the bowling balls. “Just go. Good God.”

“Dad, what did you do?” Sarah asked.

“Why do you assume it’s my fault?” He defended.

“Girl, what did he do?” She asked you.

Shrugging, you said, “I don’t know. Since Joel thinks he’s so great at communicating, maybe he should answer. I’m gonna go bowl.”

“Hope you gutter!” Joel shouted after you walked away. “She told me I needed to ask her to be my girlfriend.”

“You thought she was your girlfriend?!” Sarah said with wide eyes.

“Well… Yeah? Do I really need to verbally ask her that?”

“That’s why I got a strike, bitch,” you said while slapping the back of Joel’s head.

Sarah and Alex awkwardly stood up so that he could pretend to teach Sarah how to bowl properly. But the bickering between you and Joel didn’t end there.

“I thought it was obvious,” Joel told you. “I have you over all the time. We fuck. We laugh. Did I really need to ask?”

“So what would have happened if I pissed you off and you were to say ‘it’s not like you’re my girlfriend’?”

“I do not sound like that!” Joel scoffed. “And I would never do that to you, you know that. I just kinda figured you were mine, you know?”

You squinted at his unearned possession over you, feigning offense and scoffing obnoxiously.

“Yours? I’m not your property, Joel. You don’t get to claim me.”

“Oh yeah? And what are you goin’ to do about it? Fuck some other loser?”

You grinned, and immediately he regretted his words.

“That’s exactly what I’ll do,” you whispered.

Alex and Sarah sat back down and you asked if they wanted anything to eat or drink before walking away to go to the bar.

“Hi, what can I get for ya?” The boy at the counter asked.

“How old are you?”

“Nineteen, why?”

“You see the older man on lane twelve?”

He looked and then nodded.

“Well, I wanna make jealous so if you could just smile and pretend to flirt with me I’ll give you ten bucks,” you explained with a sly smirk.

“Fifteen,” he negotiated.

“Ugh, fine. Can I get two lemonades, a beer, and a water please?”

“That’s not coming out of my tip, is it?” He questioned whilst punching the order into his screen.

“It will if you don’t start looking at my boobs,” you said through your faux smile.

You leaned onto the counter and gave the employee a clear view of your cleavage, which he seemed to appreciate very much.

But Joel wasn’t only focused on the teenage boy behind the counter, he noticed the numerous men gawking at your short shorts that showed off too much of your ass with you bent over the counter the way you were.

“Dad,” Sarah’s voice brought him back to reality. “Your turn.”

By the time Joel managed to spare you had returned with everyone’s drinks and Joel didn’t give you the satisfying reaction of jealousy like you’d hoped.

Wondering if you went too far, you drank a bit of Joel’s beer to imprint a lip gloss stain for Joel to taste in between sips. Something you noticed he loved to do over the past few weeks whenever he made you coffee or tea. You never finished your drinks and Joel always lined his mouth up with your lip print to taste you every chance he got.

And as you gave him the cheap plastic cup that held his beer, you watched as he habitually sipped right where your lips had been. Occasionally licking the rim of the cup before taking his next swig.

A couple of games later, you and Sarah managed to team up against the boys and kick their asses each and every frame. They sulked while you two gloated from the ending of the final game all the way back to the cars.

“Okay, okay. We get it, girls rule, boys lose,” Alex said.

“It’s boys drool,” Sarah corrected before turning to hug her father who placed a kiss on her forehead. “Night, dad. I’m gonna stay at Alex’s.”

“Okay, babygirl. Call me tomorrow.”

“Oh, and word of advice,” Sarah whispered after you got into Joel’s car. “Girls like what boys consider pointless communication. Take her out a few times, make her feel special, and ask her to be your girlfriend. She really likes you, she’s just making you earn it.”

Joel softly smiled and nodded. “Mmkay. Thanks.”

Once he got in the car he didn’t acknowledge you in the least bit, finally free to punish you for letting those men get a free show.

“Not a word?” You nudged his arm as he drove. “You could ask me now.”

He snickered, the most noise he’s made in the last ten minutes.

“You don’t get to just fucking claim me, Joel!”

Joel sped up before pulling into a rest area.

“Come’ere,” he hoarsely demanded.

He unclipped his seatbelt and began undoing his belt and jeans.

“Don’t get all fuckin’ shy on me now, girl. Come on.”

You hesitated but unbuckled your seatbelt and climbed into his lap; he moved his seat all the way back and pushed his jeans low enough for his cock to spring up and slap his belly.

Instinctively you reached for it, but he removed your hand from his hardening length and held your wrists tightly behind your back with one hand. Using his other hand to grab your face by your cheeks he forced you to look into his cold eyes.

“Do you not want to be with me?” His voice strained as he asked that, a hint of hurt glaring in his dark eyes.

“Of course I want to be with you,” you answered.

“I don’t play games,” he said, gripping your wrists even tighter. “Don’t fucking—“ A soft smack landed upon your cheek. “Don’t fucking do what you did tonight ever again. Get on your knees.”

He slightly shoved you back as he loosened his grip on your hands and face; you submissively sank to the rough carpeted floor of the car and he wasted no time pulling your hair into a makeshift ponytail and shoving his fat dick into your wet mouth.

He tasted so fucking good, the mix of his clean flesh and salty precum like honey dripping onto your tongue. Your eyes rolled back and you moaned along his shaft as you eagerly bobbed your already hazy head up and down.

Joel’s hips rolled up in pleasure, gurgling out helpless moans as your nose rubbed the wiry hairs along the base of his shaft. Despite the aching and soreness, you loved having your throat full of Joel.

You took initiative and pushed against his hand, nonverbally telling him to make you suffer, and he shamelessly did so.

He couldn’t tell if the slick that was coating his balls was your spit or tears and he didn’t give a fuck. If you were going to show some loser teenager your tits and some loser bachelors your ass the least you could give him was some fucking remorse, right?

Joel felt powerful, in charge in ways he never experienced before. Your flooded eyes looked into his and saw how contorted his face was, so even if he was the one telling you what to do you knew you had him wrapped around your finger.

“Give me that fuckin’ throat, baby,” he moaned. “Oh, fuck! That throat is so fucking tight—mnh. God…damn baby. Feels so fucking good.”

He smacked your wet cheeks as encouragement before slowly pulling you off of his dick; you coughed at the gust of oxygen that flooded your lungs, giggling as he smacked his fat tip against your puffy mouth.

“Look at you, baby,” he whispered. “So pretty when my cock shuts that smart fuckin’ mouth a’yours up.”

“You love my fucking mouth,” you smugly said as you climbed into his lap.

“I do, but I think you forget what it’s supposed to be used for,” he whispered.

“You can stuff my mouth all you want, I’m still gonna give you a reason to use it.”

An eyebrow of his cocked up and a grin spread across his face at your confidence.

“Take your pants off,” he instructed seductively. His rough hands ran up your arms and back while you did what he said. “There you go,” he moaned when you slid down on his wet cock. “You’re such a good fucking slut for me, honey.”

“Just—just ask me, and I’ll s-say yes!” You shakily moaned as you relentlessly bounced on his dick.

Joel gripped your neck and began fucking into you from below, pushing deeper than he needed to, definitely bruising your cervix.

“You know you belong to me. All that fucking shit about claiming you and how I don’t own you, fuck was that?”

“Joe—elll, ugh!” You screamed into his chest, not sure if you were cumming or if your cunt was just overwhelmed with sensitivity. “Just ask, just ask baby I promise I’ll be good I’ll never misbehave again.”

He popped your ass and chuckled cruelly when you flinched and moaned. “Be my girlfriend, babydoll. Hmm? I want you to be my girl. You’re already my slut. Will you be my girl, babydoll?”

Your eyes gawked up at him and you couldn’t suppress the smile that tugged against your lips.

“Yes! Yes, yes, baby! Oh fuck, oh fuck!”

“Say it,” he begged. “Say you’re mine.”

“I’m yours I’m yours I’m yours I’m yours Joel! Fuckfuckyes I’m yours! I belong to you! I fucking belong to you!”

Joel felt the familiar deep stretch in the peak of his belly at your cries. He listened to you submit to him, let him claim you as his, ultimately marking his territory as he began to cum inside of your warm cunt.

“Thaaaat’s my good girl,” Joel growled as he fucked the last of his spend into you.

“Fuck,” you exhaled, climbing off of him. “You’re such an ass.”

He chuckled at this, the softness in his laughter coaxing a giggle from you.

“You love me,” he mumbled.

“Mmm, not quite,” you said as confidently as your tired body would allow.

“Oh, honeypie… You’ll get there soon enough.”

[justluxy]

Weird Dreams - Part 1/10

Original story by Tortilla_Feliz on wattpad so go support them!

Shoto Todoroki x Bottom Male Reader

Where Shoto has weird dreams with Y/N

Warnings: Smut (the characters are older than in the anime, so they are not minors)

This is just part one, the original story has 10 parts and 3 extras so I'll probably post them after, go support the original writer on wattpad!

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

-A-Ah...- You moaned as you felt the older guy's cock fucking your ass with increasing intensity, specifically your prostate, you bit the pillow trying to keep quiet because you didn't want to be heard

Shoto stopped his thrusts causing you to stop biting the pillow and looked at him pleadingly, thanks to his previous action

-W-Why are you stopping?- You asked

-I won't continue until you tell me what you want- Shoto murmurs- I'd like to see you beg

-I-I won't do that you perverted idiot - You said feeling your cheeks warm of embarrassment

-Then I won't do anything or...- You looked at him with doubt

-or what? - You asked confused

-Would you rather be the one on top? - He said

-I CAN?!- Your eyes lit up with excitement

-I mean you put my cock inside of you yourself - he said with a mocking smile

-S-Shit, be more specific- You say, making Shoto sit down, you positioned yourself on top of him taking his member carefully directing it to your hole, you guys almost never did it that way but you liked it because it made the older guy desperate

With the tip inside you began to lower yourself very carefully, which was of no use because Todoroki took you by your hips and pushed tou, making his cock go deeper, you began to bounce slightly on the older guy's cock

You and him were in that position for a while until Shoto simply got tired and stood up without taking his cock out, you gasped at the action, you were holding on to your friend's neck tightly because you didn't want to fall, however Shoto didn't care about this, so he continue to push his hard cock into your ass

-put me down, I-I'll fall - You whimpered

The boy ignored your request, right now the only thing that mattered to him was satisfying himself, he kissed you on your forehead and he started to go faster and faster

-I-I'm cumming Shoto- You moaned biting the neck of the one who was fucking your ass, you were even more sensitive thanks to having reached your orgasm which made your internal walls tighten even more, you scratched the back of the older guy who thanks to your tight entrance, came inside of you

★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★★

He woke up, what the hell had that dream been and why, it simply didn't make sense because he had never had a conversation before with you, not even for school projects!

He threw off the covers and sat up, looking for some way to make sense of that dream until he noticed it, his cock was hard between his legs, it was the first time he had an erection and all because of a boy, he wasn't gay...or was he?

He tried to downplay it, after al,l that day had to come, the day when for the first time he would have to jerk off in search of his own satisfaction

Of course, he wasn't going be able to see you again because of embarrassment, but it wouldn't be a problem since he didn't speak to you either

[cod-dump]

Sometimes I enjoy the thought of Graves being a big flirt because it amuses him to see the reactions to it (He flirts with Rudy because it annoys Alejandro. Rudy jokingly flirts back because he knows Graves doesn't mean anything by it. He also loves when Ale gets clingy after because the sex is fantastic), but when someone actually flirts back his brain just screeches to a halt because he has no idea how to respond when someone is actually interested in him.

Price's Man

Graves centric, NikGraves, PriceNik

___

A lot of people would consider Graves to be a flirt. He always had some pick up line in his back pocket, ready to spring it on some randomly selected individual on 141 base. Graves normally avoided flirting with certain people, such as Ghost.

He didn't feel like getting stabbed over playful, harmless flirting.

Graves would also flirt with people that he knew would flirt back in the same joking manner. Such as Rodolfo Parra. Graves originally started flirting with him to piss off Alejandro, and he was delighted to discover that Rudy also wanted to piss him off.  After several months of this, Graves felt like he had a weird bond with Rudy that was built on with harmless flirting and making Alejandro's face red with rage.

"Hey, cactus blossom. Still in bloom I see~"

Rudy snorts as Graves slides into the chair next to him. Rudy was nursing a cup of coffee while scrolling on his phone. Graves has noticed Rudy doesn't eat in the mess hall in the morning like everyone else and normally only comes in to get some coffee. Unlike Graves who grabs breakfast with everyone else.

"Alejandro is in a foul mood this morning, muñeco. Might wanna tone it down today."

"Oh? Still feeling it from last week?"

It wasn't a mystery what Alejandro did to keep Rudy's eyes on him. It was a big reason why Rudy continued to go along with Graves flirting.

"More like from last night."

"Don't remember seeing you yesterday."

"I might have mentioned you last night and it sent Ale into a... frenzy."

Graves laughs, "God, keep that up and he's going to have an interesting reaction hearing my name!"

Rudy snorts while sipping his coffee, lowering his mug to cover his mouth. Graves grins and takes a bite of french toast, noticing a man walk into the mess. He didn't recognize him and by this point Graves pretty much knew all the faces in 141.

"Who's that?"

Rudy looks over his shoulder, "Him? Nikolai, leader of Chimera. He's with 141 but flies out to deal with his own people."

Graves' eyes widened and stared, "Oh, boss man, huh?"

"As much as I love when you torment everyone with your flirtations, I recommend not trying with him. He's Price's man."

That did nothing to deter Graves. Price was one of Graves' favorites to fuck with, even if the man never had much of a reaction. Flirting with his partner sounds like nothing but a good time. Rudy notices Graves taking a swig of his orange juice, groaning when he sees the man stand.

"Phil, don't-"

"Just going to introduce myself!"

Rudy groans again, louder this time but Graves doesn't pay him any mind. Graves struts over to Nikolai, the man making two cups of coffee, one no doubt being for Price. For some reason Graves was very excited to 'introduce himself'. The man puts a lid on the travel cups and turns, surprised to see Graves.

"Ah, hello."

"Hey, handsome. Don't recall ever seeing you around here."

Nikolai's brows lift in surprise, "I also don't recall seeing you here before, either..."

"Ah, how rude of me. Must've forgotten my manners when I saw you across the room. Phillip Graves, CEO of Shadow Company."

Nikolai looks him up and down, a small smile on his lips. Graves took this as permission to keep going.

"You look like you like sweets."

"Oh?"

"You have a sweet face, have to be fueling it with something. Or is it natural?"

Graves loved trying to be as cringey as possible when flirting, all to get the best reactions out of people. But Nikolai wasn't looking annoyed by his flirting and actually looked very amused. The man set the cups of coffee down and smirks, Graves feeling his heart flutter at the sight.

"Not sweet myself, I have sweet enough company," Graves blinks as Nikolai leans forward, "I prefer them sweet. They need to taste good."

Graves' mind went blank, unable to say anything as Nikolai picked up the coffee cups and walked past him.

"Be seeing you around, Phillip."

Graves turns and watches Nikolai leave, unable to say anything. Graves stumbles back to where Rudy was sitting, dropping back into his seat and staring at his breakfast. He finally looks up and Rudy is staring at him with wide eyes full of disbelief. Neither said anything for a moment, both stunned by the experience. Finally, Graves’ clears his throat and picks up a strip of bacon.

“So, uh… What’s your plans for today?”

“We are not about to ignore what just happened.”

“Really? I am. I was going to head to the gun range and get some rounds in.”

“Phil-”

“Maybe head to the auto shop. Heard one of the Challengers got fucked up and no one can figure out what’s wrong with it.”

“Phil!”

Graves shoves french toast into his mouth and Rudy scoffs. He takes his time chewing, all to avoid talking about what just happened. That did not sound like joking. 

“Can you at least swallow instead of sitting there with your mouth full? You look like a chipmunk!”

Graves swallows, taking a moment to breathe before he looks up, “Is it too early to start drinking?”

Rudy blinks, “Yes it is. It’s 0800.”

“Five o’clock somewhere in the world.”

Graves stands and starts to leave, ignoring Rudy calling after him. As he walked through the halls, he couldn't stop thinking about Nikolai and his very genuine flirting.

Fuck, Price is going to kill me.

[villruu]

Really nice guy who hates only you Alex x Brian?

Anon, anon... Listen, um. Well, this originally had more of a comedic vibe with timetravel splashed in, but then "the red means I love you" snuck up on me and suddenly this happend. I, um. Well.

Enjoy timetravel doomed brilex??

On AO3

This contains canon-typical violence :)

⸻

Alex woke up slowly, woozy and trembling.

His whole body felt off-putting, numb and cold and not entirely his own. It was dark and humid, damp in the way cement only knew how to be, the slight scent of mold typical of abandoned buildings that Alex had come to learn intimately as he searched locations for his film.

Where… where was he?

Last he remembered he had gone to sleep. And, it had been a good dream. There hadn’t been any weird creature in the distance, he hadn’t felt angry, everyone was working together and, and it was just him and his friends having a good time. Brian had been there too, joking, close to him in a way he hasn’t been since he had fallen sick a few weeks ago.

Alex tried to move, but his body felt too slow, muscles barely twitching even as Alex forced himself as much as he could.

It was cold. Too cold.

Was it still night? Where was he? 

He had his pajamas on, though no socks. He didn’t have his glasses on either. When Alex tried again to move, he found something digging painfully into his wrists. Plastic and hard, almost threatening to cut into his skin with each slight movement.

Where the fuck was he?

Steps. The crushing of glass beneath shoes. The swish of clothes moving.

“Hello?” Alex called, voice thin and fearful, “Who’s there?”

Silence.

“Hello?” He repeated, “I… I need help.”

Silence again.

The darkness was absolute. Was even someone there, or was Alex imagining it? 

Alex trembled.

Steps again, closer and closer until Alex could swear he could feel the warm emanating from another living being. Fear sprang to life inside him as a sudden light turned on, the flash blinding him momentarily, leaving him reeling with a pained yelp.

With watering eyes, Alex slowly adjusted to the harsh white light shining on his face. A figure stood in front of him, obscured in the shadows produced by the strong light. It was a flashlight, Alex noticed distantly somewhere in his panic, a big and clunky one, the kind that hikers like to get.

All Alex could see were the dirty black gloves of the figure, covered in dust and some liquid that looked almost black in the light that reflected on the flashlight.

“Who… Who are you?” Alex rasps, voice gaining confidence the longer he goes on, “Did… Did you take me? Where am I? What is this place? What did you do to me—”

Alex’s is abruptly cut off as something whacks him across the face. He groans, wishing he had his hands free to rub at his face. Something wet dripped from his nose, probably blood since Alex doubted it hadn’t been broken, a deep ache coming from his cheek where he had been struck first.

The flashlight looked scuffed on the edges, now.

He has a million questions to ask, a thousand words to say, but he keeps quiet, now weary, like a dog who suddenly learned its owner is also capable of kicking it and not only petting it.

Why is he here? Why him, why out of anyone, him?

The figure doesn’t move. Alex doubts they are even breathing, so still and silent as they are now. Alex watches in silence as they take something from their pocket, probably, the sound of an object dragging across, the shift of clothes. 

A glint of silver. A metal barrel.

A gun, in front of his face.

Alex stays still, frozen, watching the weapon with wide eyes.

“Are….You…” Alex whispers as the gun gets closer to his face, the hand holding it as steady as a mountain.

His dad taught him how to fire a gun, before coming to college. They had spent an entire day practicing with cans and glass bottles near his grandpa’s, in an empty lot close to the forest. His dad had proclaimed that in a state like Alabama, it was best he knew how to defend himself, and had even given him a gun, which Alex kept locked up and hidden deep beneath mountains of trash in the small shed of the house. 

Alex had never gotten over the shakiness of holding onto a real gun.

He wondered how this figure managed to do so.

He can see the edges of the sleeve now, a faded orange, dirty and scuffed. 

The silence stretches between them, like an eternal graveyard.

“This is for the best,” The figure tells him. The voice is familiar, extremely so, but Alex first processes the movement of the gun.

In a fit of desperation, Alex throws his head forward, the metal of the gun colliding painfully with his temples. There’s the sound of metal falling onto the floor, but any relief is short-lived, as the flashlight is brought down on his face again. He struggles, as the flashlight falls to the ground and rolls a few feet away.

He can see the figure more clearly, a dirty faded hoodie, some dirty jeans, scuffed shoes. They lean down, grabbing their gun, and all the fighting abruptly leaves Alex’s body as the figure stands up and the light is finally shining on their face.

Hazel eyes, deep bags, pale face, brown hair. It’s a familiar face. It’s a face that Alex has seen for almost 5 years, it’s a face Alex trusts, it’s the face of his friend.

It 's Brian.

(It’s Brian, Brian his best friend, Brian who he knows from highschool, Brian who he spent countless nights studying with for midterms, Brian who was with him when he adopted Rocky, Brian who joined his film when nobody else would, Brian who found other actors for him.

Brian who everyone loves. Brian who’s the social butterfly of their college. Brian, who Alex trusts with his life. Brian, who has a million friends and yet always makes time for him. Brian, who makes Alex feel like he is seeing the world again. Brian, who Alex can't never stop admiring. Brian, who he loves.

Brian, who is pointing a gun at him. 

Brian, who is probably the one who dragged him here. 

Brian, who he thought was his friend.)

“...Brian?” Alex yet still dares to say, as if hoping saying the name of the other would stop this nightmare, would make the scowling person in front of him transform back into his friend.

Brian stares at him and looks briefly at the flashlight, before simply moving until they’re staring at each other. Alex stares into the sunken gaze of his friend, and wonders what happened. 

“Brian…?” He repeats.

All he gets is a kick to the side, leaving him dropped on his side, curled up like a dying larvae, wheezing.

Brian steps closer. He is standing right above him, gun steady as it points directly at Alex’s head. His eyes are hard and dark.

“Brian,” Alex breathes out, breathing noisily in and out to try and ignore the pain radiating from their side, “Brian, I don’t understand…”

“You know,” Brian says absently, voice light, “It’s a good thing I got dropped back now rather than later.”

Brian smiles. It is not a nice smile.

“After all, who would believe that sweet, naive Brian would ever do anything to hurt his friend? Everyone knows he would die for them,” He gives a bitter laugh, and Alex swears that in the dim lightning his eyes shine almost red, “No, people will just assume whatever else. And after I take care of a few more things, that thing will never hurt another, and neither will you.”

“...You see it too?” Alex said, confused and hurt and unsure, “That, that guy, the one in the—”

“Shut up,” Brian spits, after he kicks him again, “I don’t need it coming to look into what’s happening now.”

Brian gives a brief look around, and Alex shudders, staring at the tall figure in the back, but Brian doesn’t see it, or if he sees it, he doesn’t react.

“I don���t understand…” Alex repeats, voice thin and unsure, “Brian you, you know how to stop this? how to, how do I stop seeing it—?”

Another kick.

“I said, Shut. Up.” Brian snarls, voice dripping hatred in a way Alex had never thought possible, “You don’t deserve help, Kralie. You, you fucked everything up before… If it weren’t for you…”

Brian shakes his head.

“It doesn’t matter,” He says, “With you gone, the group will not stay together. Tim will clearly not keep contact except with me, maybe, and will not spread it anymore. I’ll have to make sure Jay keeps his distance, permanently if necessary, but, right now, the only thing I need to do is get rid of you.”

The gun clicks, safety finally off.

Alex whimpers, static building up in the back of his head as he stares up at the barrel of the gun.

“Goodbye, Kralie.”

The static builds up into a screech, a high pitched screaming that builds up and up and up, and Alex Kralie knows no more.

[the-nosy-neighbor]

Black Stuff in Staff Only

Potential spoilers, read at your own risk (though most of this is from the July 2023 update).

Welcome home

Black stuff

What is the black stuff?  I think we first encountered it in either the original document that is a storybook page featuring Julie and siblings, or in the space underneath home.  The original and a lightened copy are below, and definitely has paint smeared on top of it as well as some of the black stuff. 

“All of the paper materials tucked away inside the envelopes we have received are usually crammed together and covered in paint and ink. Despite this, volunteers have both restored and recreated most of what was found on the documents. Below is an example of our work as we extract information from the original document and translate it into a digital state.”—(emphasis mine) About Us

Information about the black stuff from Staff Only:

We know not to touch the black stuff, based on information from W, written to the QA.(interestingly, it seems to say that the QA got all of the stuff that they had to this point, but the information given by W in awayfrompryingeyes seems to indicate that W was holding the weird stuff back)  In the photo we have of the original document (Julie and sibs) they already know or have an instinct to wear gloves when handling the stuff. 

In the letter below, the QA approaches W to let them curate the items, aka clean and preserve them in a way that won’t damage the items, and is told no in no uncertain terms. 

The response to this seemed a bit over the top, but as we have seen, the WHRP members (maybe just W) have reported some kind of influence from the items.  The insinuation here is that the black stuff has lead to a number of symptoms and they are bad symptoms:

“It means it is inside of you too, then, this urge to find it. Our efforts won’t be in vain.”—About us

The statement, “it is inside you too, then,” is an interesting one, because I have always taken it to mean that some mysterious force or unknown evil is spread by touching these things.  It hasn’t been specifically linked to the black stuff, but it seems the obvious choice in “being infected” with Welcome Home.

“To be honest, we were drawn in unexpectedly. All of the information found on this website was extracted from documents that had been uncovered in brightly colored envelopes. We are thankful to be the first to jump start this exciting journey! But it hurts.”—About us

As we have seen above, items received have black stuff on them.  It is after exposure that they become obsessed with solving the mystery of this show (have we been exposed?)  The person above is using gloves, and there are notes in Staff Only about wearing gloves and they are available.  There are also dirty gloves on the table.  I would assume that means that they are taking the necessary precautions. But, these are far more dirty than the exhibit items. (Maybe the gloves were used with the paint roller? At least some of the black stuff appears to have been spread by fingers and hands, based on look.  In addition, you can see two paint cans in the bottom corner of the image. Is this where the paint comes from? It would seem less mysterious with the paint cans there, unless this is the black stuff controlling the QA and staff and making them paint.)  

To begin with, I assumed that people had become lax and were handling them directly, but it is possible that whatever influence is spread, it isn’t through direct touch.  They are asked to return any items with black stuff on them:

“We are overjoyed you have received all of the work we have so far uncovered!  Please take care of it while it is in your possession, but under no circumstances should it be touched with your bare hands.  Please wear gloves:  If a substance begins to grow on anything delivered (?), please place it back in the box it was shipped in and return it to us at your leisure.�� If you or anyone on your team experience nausea, dizziness, or fatigue, please don’t be alarmed!”—Staff Only

You can see in the picture below that they have gloves for this purpose.  The letter instructs them to return anything that has growth on it, though they don’t specify what it would look like.  It says not to be alarmed if any of them experience dizziness and fatigue.  I don’t know why the QA would take the risk of the black stuff, and it seems that W knows it is there, potentially there, or that it grows quickly and unexpectedly. 

This particular email has always captured my interest for two reasons:  the content, but also, you can see the black stuff in its physical form.  Where on the paper and walls it looks like ink, this stuff looks/acts more like kudzu (for those that aren’t familiar, an invasive species of ivy native to Japan and other Asian countries that massively took over the American south, also known as “mile a minute” or “the vine that ate the South” from Wikipedia).

In these pictures, you can see instances of the creeping black stuff.  It is all over the staff only room, and on the ceiling in the exhibit space/or back room (I think it is exhibit space).  We can see that this stuff has gotten out of hand and is creeping along. Is this what happens after the inky stuff starts to spread? Or when staff members touch the inky stuff and then touch something else?

As previously discussed, there is a roller on the table, and in some shots you can see what looks like paint cans. This could mean that the roller on the table and the black stuff on the walls are related and it’s just paint.  There are some gloves close by covered in the black stuff as well.  The QA believes someone is punking them, so this could be evidence of that, but who would know enough about this stuff to play that particular prank?

Known symptoms of contact are headache, dizziness, and nausea, and while WHRP says it isn’t anything to worry about, we know that the QA was sick for quite a while, and whether that is physically, mentally, or both is not stated.  I believe paranoia is listed as a symptom as well, with both W and QA experiencing this (as evidenced by their written concerns that someone is tricking them..)

It appears that the QA didn’t take that advice in the email (or is subject to another force), leading to the spread of black stuff.  Given the state of things in the Staff Only room, it would appear that the black stuff has arrived.  This leads me to wonder, can they see it?

What we can extrapolate from all this, is that the black stuff could account for the behavior of the individuals we have seen so far.  The ick, which can be seen underneath Home, and has grown in size during the last year, has stringy bits that reach further and further out. 

(Could this explain why Eddie has his moments of paranoia during the Commercials?  All his increased heartbeat and strange faces, the sweating and feeling disoriented?)

W doesn’t mention the black stuff.  The curator only mentions “more of that stuff is on the walls.”

There is more of that stuff on the walls.  I keep hearing phones ringing.—Staff only, QA’s notes

The association of the black stuff and the ringing has stuck with me as we have progressed. 

It’s probably a not so common reference, but it reminds me of Red vs. Blue, where Tucker keeps getting volunteered to go through the portal.  Tucker comes out covered in black stuff (which I believe he says is carbon.)

I don’t believe it gives Tucker any special powers, just a lot of armor cleaning.  But he is pushed to be the one to go through it, because those kinds of portals have potential consequences.  The rocks they test it with come out black, and they make Tucker do it anyway. (bowchickawowow?)

But the direct reference to more black stuff and the phone is ringing reminded me of W as well.  They hear the phone ringing.  They hear Wally talking sometimes.  W finds themselves seeing things on a TV that they shouldn’t be seeing (hmm…but Eddie specifically), and the QA has a note on the TV that says to replace it ASAP if it gets broken. I can see two different ideas here:  either the QA thinks the TV is broken when it starts playing things it shouldn’t, but also could be a note to have it fixed ASAP, because like W, they are seeing things in the TV that they aren’t supposed to be able to see.  W, in particular, knows that there is weird stuff going on in the website, going as far to test Wally’s response.  They don’t seem to be willing or able to make the connection to Wally specifically. 

What if  all the stuff on the website is for W specifically?  Wally could be talking directly to W.

I think it is very possible that touching the black stuff not only opens you up to symptoms/not feeling well, but also infects you with something that allows you to hear or see Wally and Home.  Those are the only two that have spoken to us directly.  There is an argument for Eddie speaking to us, but I don’t think he is aware of us.  I’m not sure where the video comes from, in universe.

But we do know that Wally has stated we draw eyes, and that allows him to see through us (or W and their team.)  We have seen eyes littered throughout.  On the website, all the eyes in the borders are presumably from W, since they are still on the site.  In Staff Only, there are post-its with eyes littered around, including one that says “who are you” and eyes on the WHRP folder as well (in addition to the background being upside down eyes.  With upside down text.  OK, maybe upside down eyes.)

We are all drawing his eyes, but does he know about us?  I don’t think we have communicated back in a way that is specifically identifiable as us.  It could be that Wally/Home are trying to desperately break down barriers through contact with individuals in W’s universe. 

That would make for a good explanation of why the show disappeared.  If the black stuff started to spread in our reality, any of those kids would see the show for what it is.  I don’t think we have a full idea of what it is yet, but we haven’t touched the black stuff.  If kids started to act weird, and people started to notice black stuff around, they would have avoided it.

I can really see something like that coming through in a toy or other merch, and begin to spread, leading to strange behavior in the kids, leading to parents thinking it is black mold or something and pushing the series away for that reason. 

This concept art portraying Sunny seems to lay out the plan a bit more (though it could have been a former plan, not the current plan for the story).  “Children have seen it and now they know what to do!”  It’s really creepy and shows Wally as an oppressive force.

“Everything is so disgusting to touch.  Sometimes the mail doesn’t come for weeks.  I want to rip into everything I have.  My head feels so muddled, too.  Ever since I opened that envelope.”

This interview/questions for the website are asked by WHRP and answered by QA in the email above.  The note discovered by using blacklight is presumably the QA, either answering in some kind of invisible ink, or maybe they don’t remember, leading them to think it is another part of the supposed “prank.”  I suppose it could be an actual prank, but I don’t think that fits the story very well.

I haven’t ever really understood the use of the blacklight/invisible ink.  The messages are of the type that Wally leaves, but there is no expectation that it is Wally who wrote them.  It could be the QA or another of their staff, as well.  But the QA leaves instructions to use blacklight on everything.  I assumed in the beginning that maybe the blacklight catches the black stuff, but given the use of ink, maybe the QA is looking for the messages from Wally.  I don’t think there is enough information at this point to know the answer to that, but am open to hearing some, if anyone has theories about it. 

The important thing about the black stuff, especially as experience in the Staff Only page, is a visible type of infection into our world.  If we can see this stuff, either we are able to see it because we haven’t been infected, or because we have.  Either way, in the realm of Staff Only, we see a physical manifestation of the influence of Welcome Home on people who come into contact with it, even now.  

As we see more of it, I will try to adjust my theories, but the black stuff is an important part of the explanation of what is exactly happening to people in the direct sphere of influence of Welcome Home.

[obligitory-fma-blog]

I watched the final Netflix adaptation of FMAB. Here’s some of my notes

- “Y’know, I don’t think he has any need for his dad.” Hoenhiem. Uhm you left him he kinda did for a while so idk why you’re being bitter now

- YOOOOO SIG AND IZUMIIIIII

- RAHHHH I LOVE THEM

- Okay the fighting is better this time, less choppy

- Izumi’s actress is ON POINT I LOVE HER

- “I was never much of a proper parent to either of those boys” Ya don’t say. (I’m not a Hoenhiem hater, but I am a Hoenhiem critic.)

- “Maybe you should’ve told them goodbye and talked to them before leaving. Maybe then their grief wouldn’t have taken over.” SAY IT IZUMI

- “I reorganized your insides lol” Hoenhiem you could tell Izumi before you did that?? Creepy man.

- Still didn’t use the music from the original :(

- Okay Ed should be covered in blood after falling into it but he isn’t, just his head bandage. Wtf is up with that??

- GIRLIE I CANT WITH ENVY RN WTF

- WTF IS THE CGI OF THE HUMANS ON HIS MANE (?)

- EW IT GOT WORSE

- Okay how tf did envy knock them onto a stone platform that was LITERALLY NOWHERE TO BE SEEN UNTIL NOW

- Mustang and Riza my beloveddddd

- The actor for General Hakuro is pretty good tho, very weird, but good

- Girlie you walked into some weird shit

- Mustang girlie I luv you so much tho hope you slay this movie

- Oh hi Father

- “Daddy…?” -al “DO I LOOK LIKE YOUR-“ -father

- Also highkey the actor for Envy is really good too

- “How do you know Hoenhiem?” “Technically he’s our father” TECHNICALLY HAHA

- Ed is like “touchy no no, no touchy”

- Girlie you are a creep HANDS OFF THE LITTLE GUY

- Ed’s just like >:/ wtf get off

- WHY ARE YOU PETTING HIM???????

- I feel violated just watching this

- YEAH LING SAVE HIM

- YOOOO WERE GONNA SEE GREEDLING :D

- Ew that’s fuckin goopy (philosophers stone)

- It looks like melted jello ewwww

- Okay idk if seeing greedling is worth it for this shit

- Why is his mind blue???

- Wait did we see greed lose his body in the first one or….

- I don’t think we did???

- Uhhhh idk and I don’t wanna go check because the first one is bad

- Lowkey he’s fine as hell tho

- Mustang looks so damn done lmao

- HE’S SITTINF LIKE THE SHINJI MEME WAIT

- LMAOOO THATS SO GOOD

- okay okay it’s time for me to get my Mustang being a dad moment don’t fail me now movie

- Stfu Bradley no one cares

- WTF WHERES MY MOMENT HELLO

- ARE WE NOT GONNA GET THE 520 CENZ PROMISE??

- I HATE THIS

- Okay Ed, Sig, and Izumi get to interact now :D

- Okay so now we’re getting the scar brother research moment? Outside of Briggs? Cool? I guess?

- Oh hi greedling

- Okay so apparently father killed greed cause he disobeyed him but that’s all we get for that.

- Also this story set up just doesn’t and will never work as well as the first one, so much stuff is intertwined in different events and mixing it all up like this just makes it so confusing and that’s part of the reason why this just doesn’t work

- But I’ll ignore it for the sake of things

- OLIVIER :D

- Mustang and Riza checking in on their kids :D

- I’m so normal about found family

- 5 minutes in Briggs and Ed is already in trouble. In character stuff

- Also we gonna talk about his automail or we just gonna skip over that for plot reasons

- OLIVIER I LOVE YOUUUUUU

- WOMEN ARE HOT

- am I bi

- YESSS ICE QUEEN ICE QUEEN

- “How’s Alex?” “He’s good!” “…shame.”

- Okay sloth looks less weird than I imagine

- OLIVIER WITH THE BOMB :D

- Love her what a Queen

- Still wish they used the original soundtrack I will forever be mad about that

- SLAYYY OLIVIER YASSSSSS

- please marry me

- YEAHHHHHH

- Okay Ed just kicked sloth off of briggs? Girlie even with automail I doubt he could kick him that easy

- So Olivier doesn’t suspect Ed of anything? Out of character, #notmyicequeen

- Also turns out Hakuro and Raven are both the same person in this version??

- Oh Hi Winry

- “If I step out of line, they’ll do something to you.” Awww baby protect your gf

- YEAHHHH OLIVIER AGAIN :D

- “I won’t let anyone do whatever they want in here!” SAY IT GIRLIE YEAHHH

- please I’m begging you marry me

- on my KNEES

- They could not have casted her better

- Bb girl it’s so hard to understand you when you’re so fine I can’t focus

- Okay now Drachama is attacking Briggs

- When Sloth goes back in the hole Raven/Hakuro looks like a grandpa when he’s told he can leave the nursing home for the day to play golf and if that isn’t a summary of the entire us government idk what is

- AWWW WINRY HAS A CHARM ON HER BAG THAT LOOKS LIKE DEN :D

- Sorry Olivier, but it’s so hard to focus on this serious scene with your luscious lips and beautiful face

- She would murder me for saying this all but IDC IF TJAYS HOW I GO THATS HOW I GO

- Alphonse!! :D

- Hoenhiem is like “hUH???”

- He didn’t know about Al’s body????

- Okay bestie :/

- Father of the year fr

- Can’t even keep up with the fact that his son doesn’t have a body smh

- Okay Xerxes time

- ED IS THE SAME ACTOR FOR YOUNG HOENHIEM???

- Okay I get why

- BUT OKAY THEN IG

- Okay cool Xerxes sequence

- “Everybody is dead” lol cringe get good

- Sorry I have the humor of a middle schooler

- Oh hi Greedling

- Am I bi cause THIS MAN

- Okay now it’s Al!Pride time just out of nowhere for no reason?

- “So you’re gonna try and beat me then?” -Pride

- “… nah you’re freaky lol” -Hoenhiem

- Hi again Al

- “Don’t insult my son bitch” okay we love that

- “Okay, let’s all go beat the dwarf in the flask :D” -Hoenhiem

- “NO ONE FUCKING ASKED UGH” -Ed

- MUSTANGGG LOOKIN SPIFFY

- Still mad we don’t get the 520 cenz promise

- AHHHH BLACK HYATE

- LUV HIM

- Also seeing Mustangs team all together is so slay :D

- “Don’t die while we overthrow the government y’all.” -Mustang

- Oh great bad cgi soldier things

- YEAHHH MUSTANG SAVE YOUR SON!!

- Okay good Envy and Mustang will fight :)

- Now it’s time for CRAZY MUSTANG :D

- BURN THE BITCH BURN HIM

- ED LOOKS SO SAD AND CONCERNED :(

- YEAH RIZA STOP HIM STOP HIM

- YEAH ED STOP HIM

- “GIVE IT TO ME FULLMETAL NOW! OR ILL BURN OFF YOUR LEFT ARM!” ANGST ANGST ANGST

- “JUST TRY IT! GO AHEAD! ILL THROW DOWN WITH YOU NOW!” YEAHHHH SAVE YOUR DAD!!

- “YOU PLAN ON STANDING AT THE TOP OF THIS COUNTRY LIKE THAT?!” CRYINF SCREAMINF RAHHHHH

- “YOU KNOW THIS ISNT WHAT YOU WERE STRIVING FOR” PARENTAL!ROY AND ED PEOPLE WE ARE GETTING FED TONIGHT

- YEAH RIZA AND SCAR STOP HIM :D

- The way Ed got ready to fight when Mustang looked like he was going to snap at him I :,)

- “I am a giant fool forcing you all to act this way.” HUG YOUR WIFE AND SON

- “Lieutenant, please lower your gun. I’m so sorry” GONNA CRY NOW

- I still wish we got the 520 cenz promise and I will never not be bitter about that

- I don’t care that it’s not the point of this IM STILL MAD

- OOP BYE ED

- AWWW MUSTANG CALLING FOR ED BEFORE HE GOES :,) WERE GETTING FED GUYSSSS

- Okay I don’t like the fight between Bradley and Fu as much this looks more like stage fighting :/

- That’s the only one so far I didn’t like tho so….

- How tf is Riza gonna survive tho the weird doctor guy isn’t here

- DONT LOOK DIRECTLY AT AN ECLIPSE GUYS WHAT???

- Also those do not go that fast either

- I got to see one and it was really slow but fun ig

- Idk I was like 13 so

- Anyways

- YEAHHH ED HELP YOUR DAD!!!!

- Okay I wish they added colored contacts for this or smth so it’d be similar to the series and make more sense but eh… who knows

- ED YOU GOTTA KEEP HELPING HIM HE CANT SEEEEE

- or get revenge that works too

- Okay cgi for the absorbing god scene is cool

- Alright who’s ready to fight god?

- Am I hallucinating or is the actor for Al also the actor for god!father/Dwarf???

- IM NOT THATS HIM

- OKAY IG

- All the actors for this are really good actually. I can tell they have passion for this. I appreciate that.

- Okay it’s time for Ed to almost die for the 5000th time

- YEAH MUSTANG FUCK HUM UP

- YEAH EVERYONE!!!

- POWER OF FRIENDSHIP YIPPIE

- Also someone get Ed. Or don’t

- Nah cause the creepy guys gonna get him now

- AL

- THIS SCENE WILL NEVER NOT BE SAD TO ME

- DONT TOUCH THE CHILD WEIRDO

- It’s funny cause when I got into this I was younger than Ed and now I’m older than him. Fixation really be lasting a while. It’s the neurodivergence isn’t it.

- YEAHHH NOW WE GET HIM BACK TO HIS BODY :D

- I can’t even tell if it’s good because the series is good or if this is actually a good movie

- Oh hi greed I forgot about you lowkey

- But you’re hot so hiiiiiii <3

- “YOU DARE DISOBEY YOUR FATHER?!”

- “ITS A LATE-STAGE REBELLIOUS PHASE IM GOING THROUGH!”

- Iconic.

- And get punched idiot

- OKAY TIME TO BRING BACK AL

- YEAHHH HOENHIEM TAKING RESPONSIBILITY

- “Let me at least do something fatherly in the end” AHHHHH

- “STOP BEING A DUMBASS DAD” AWWW ED

- “You finally called me dad 🥹” I CANT VISIBLY REACT I DONT WANNA DISTURB MY ROOMMATES BUT AHWHWIWJEVRI

- “I was always a human to begin with. All is one, one is all. Even if I can’t use alchemy, I have great people in my life. My precious friends and family.” STILL THE BEST QUOTE FOREVER

- YEAHHHH RIZA AND MUSTANG WILL FIND A WAY TO GET HIS EYESIGHT BACK

- AWWW WE GET A TRISHA AND HOENHIEM SCENE

- YEAHHH THE BROS COME BAVKKKDHIHZHW

- AND WE SEE HUMAN AL WITH SHORT HAIR

- AWWWWWIEHJEIEHWHWH

- IM NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS EVER

Conclusion: yep. This got me in the heart, even if it isn’t the show itself. Still stuff that bothered me. But overall, this series of movies is not so bad. Not so great, at times, but not so bad. Honestly, I think they did the best they could and that’s really all I could ask for. And it was nice seeing them all in live action. For this movie, an 8/10. For the series of movies? 6.5/10. Not remotely comparable to the original series, but still a worthwhile watch and something I’d recommend if you want a recap of the series but don’t have time to watch it all again.

Let me know if you all want notes on the first one! I watched it a long time ago but I’ll do it again for y’all. Much love guys <3

[adarkrainbow]

Green in fairytales (a Pastoureau translation)

In France, Michel Pastoureau has earned himself a strong reputation as a "historian of colors" thanks to very thorough and well-researched books he published about the history, evolution, uses and cultural connotations of each color (blue, green, red, black...). I borrowed from my library a copy of his book about green (Vert, Histoire d'une couleur ; Green, History of a color) and what a surprise! There is a segment about fairytales in there!

The book is organized by chronology, with a first segment covering the origins of humanity up to the year 1000 (Green: An uncertain color) ; then a second part deals with the span between the leventh and the fourteenth centuries (A courtly color) ; a third the span between the 14th and 16th (A dangerous color)... But what interests us is the fourth part, "A secondary color: 16th-19th centuries".

This part is divided itself into several sub-sections. "Protestant morality" "The green of painters" "New knowledge, new classifications", "Alceste's ribbons and green in theater" ; "Green during the Enlightenment", etc... And one of those subsections is called "Superstitions and fairy tales".

I won't copy all of this sub-section, because the first part about superstitions covers theatrical superstitions and other beliefs - but here is a rough translation of the part about fairytales.

A same ambiguity is observed in fairy tales, a literary genre that the 17th century did not invent, but renewed and made very famous. Notations of color are rare but very significant and the green might be less recurring than black, white or red, but it is the color of supernatural beings, notably of fairies. In several European regions of the modern era, fairies are called "dames vertes" (French for "green ladies"), Die grünen Damen, or The green fairies. This is due to several reasons: either they appear with clothes or shoes of this color, either they have green eyes or hair (just like witches) - and sometimes they simply live in a green landscape that reminds how their origins are tied to the vegetation cycles, and the cult of waters, trees and forests. In Northern Europe, if fairies dress in green, they do not like when mere mortals do the same. If one wants to gain their favors, they better not wear this color, nor any of the plants from which they get a part of their magical powers: the hawthorn, rowan, hazel, and others. Green is the color of fairies. But the fairy is a capricious and volatile being, sometimes godmother, sometimes lover, sometimes guardian angel, sometimes wicked genie - and just like the color green, the fairy can quickly change her mood, her appearance or her role. She is to be feared, and to be respected. Occidental culture does not have the monopoly of green fairies or greenish genies. They are encountered under various forms in Oriental cultures. The Islamic tradition, for example, presents a weird character that belongs to the supernatural world and whose name evokes the color green: Al Khidr (or Khisr), the "green man". His identity is a difficult thing to clarify. Some claim he is a son of Adam, others that he is an angel or a saint, while a third group calls him a clairvoyant prophet or a guide sent by fate itself. But all see in him a benevolent, though mischievious, genie who protects sailors and travelers, sends away the storms, puts out fires, saves people when they drown, banish demons and snakes. The Coran only mentions him once (eighteenth Surat, verses 65-82), but numerous tales and legends were told about him. Let us return to European traditions and fairy tales of the modern era. Just like the chivalry novels of the Middle Ages, they like to play on the sonority or the ortograph of some words to create strange or marvelous atmospheres. In French the name "vert" (green) is a better material for wordplay than any other name of colors, thanks to its phonic relationships with words such as "vair" (a type of fur), "verre" (glass), "ver" (worm) and "vers" (verse). (T.n.: they're all pronounced the same in French]. This results in numerous semantic confusions and interpretation uncertainties that make the happiness of commentators.

[Note: for an unknown reason Tumblr doesn't let me write more, so I'll put the rest in a reblog]

[ufonaut]

Might be a weird ask, but after that convo about the JSAer's ages, what about their partners and kids (especially the kids)? Because of the sliding time scale, characters like Jennifer-Lynn, Todd, Rick, Jesse and Jack Knight are presumed to have been born sometime in the late 80s or 90s (as of 2023)? So that leaves a situation in which most JSAers kind of avoided having kids until they were in their 60-70s? That or maybe DC will one day say that these kids also are time-displaced.

see my best friend katie (@slaapkat) and i have spent ages trying to figure this one out, and i know the folks over on the cbr forums (which is basically the last bastion of old time fandom, not that that's necessarily a good thing) have been recently discussing this exact thing post-lost children finale... and, well, there's no easy answer!

there's cases like rex tyler, where even by wendi's first appearance in showcase 1956 #56 it's pretty obvious she's significantly younger than rex (she's introduced as a 'girl' and rex already has grey temples by that cover date of '65) and that's made even more clear in hourman 1999 #24 when their age difference actually leads to some arguments about rex not getting the hip music wendi listens to but. that's just one case of many and it's one that'd have to be updated with the timeline, too.

i think the solution is either time displacement or what i'm personally leaning towards is having the jsa's time in ragnarok come sooner and last longer, have them come back at a decent age (having effectively been frozen during their time there) and then settle down and have families. with that particular avenue, i think we'd reach around the same ages roy thomas had in mind during infinity inc. i've gotta say this is one of the main reasons i love judy garrick's introduction so much, having her born in 1949 is absolutely a stroke of genius and jay & joan having the first of the jsa kids is perfect considering they're the only ones of the 'default' couples to have ever discussed marriage & kids in their actual golden age comics (as per flash comics 1940 #35 and #45)!

that being said, even keeping canon as it is, i don't think it's actually as big of a concern as it seems at first glance! out of the original team mcnider, kent, al, wes, corrigan, johnny t and terry never had kids -- with the caveat that grant emerson isn't really al's son and the closest thing wes has to a kid, sandy, is kept ageless in sand monster form for as long as necessary. similarly, johnny t's peachy pet can keep her original timeline as she doesn't inherit any legacy, and the hawks can have hector at any point because it's his return from the dead as fate that needs to be in line with the current timeline instead of his actual birth. as stated above, rick also requires no real update because rex could've simply met wendi much later and dating a twenty-something year old actress as a status symbol doesn't make him more of a creep than he already was if it happened in the 60s or in the 90s.

and here's where it gets problematic. david & jack knight... well, let's say ted's in the same boat as rex, he's not a family man type to begin with. jennie & todd? i can see alan holding onto his confirmed bachelor status for as long as he's able until societal pressure wears him down, and mr gbc ceo getting with young secretary alyx rose thorn makes him a believable straight cliche that would raise no suspicions (and it would also account for the blind anger of the 90s sentinel era, he hates what he's had to do... plus, you know, other real world events of the 90s that might influence for the worse the way alan feels about being gay)*. the one that's really giving me trouble is jesse quick but i suppose we can either move up johnny and libby's wedding and allow johnny the normal course of his original canon (he was still a bachelor living with tubby watts by adventure comics #174 in '52) or jesse's older than she looks and the speed force lets her age real slow.

as for their partners, in the case of those who aren't simply with significantly younger women, it's canon that they were all bathed in that weird ian karkull shadowland radiation that makes the jsaers themselves eternally sorta young as per all-star squadron annual #3.

WHEW THIS GOT LONG, I'M SORRY!! what do you think?

*as a side-note to the alan situation -- considering his marriage with alyx rose thorn lasted precisely a day and a night, molly's timeline doesn't need to be moved up for longer than a couple years when alan eventually gives in to that too and we can have their divorce somewhere around 2011 as a fun reference to the life-changing events of new 52.

[flimsy-roost]

Run-on Review Anthology: Algernon Blackwood

Wake up besties, new fave early 20th century horror/weird fiction short story writer just dropped~

~Algernon Blackwood~

Fig. 1) This guy right here

As someone who was introduced to the genre via HP Lovecraft, here are several reasons why the work of our boy Algernon could be considered better than his contemporary and/or worth your time to read:

-Runs the literary gamut between truly horrifying and joyfully awe-inspiring. Scary not your thing? Al's got you covered!

-Writes in many different formats: short stories, longer novels, even plays! Entertainment for every occasion! (In this post I'll be focusing on short stories because that's my favorite format, but I'll be reading some of his novels in the future!)

-No commitment that I've seen to far to an internally consistent world (a la the Lovecraft Cinematic Universe), allowing him to explore many different themes, settings, and source material

-Absolutely gorgeous and immersive descriptions of place and vibe

-Actually usually describes things very well, instead of leaning on the cosmic horror trope of "oH nooOo it'S TOOo indescrIBAble"

-As far as I can tell so far, is not particularly racist or xenophobic for the time, especially when compared to HP "Hyper-pRacist" Lovecraft

(sidebar; I don't think it's correct to write off the works of long-dead authors due to things that are considered problematic today; however, it's hard to get around that some things are just plain uncomfortable to read with modern eyes. I think that providing context and disclaimers is important, but given that these people are too dead to profit from their work, I don't generally feel bad discussing, recommending, or purchasing their writing)

---

Run On Reviews of Algernon Blackwood Short Stories

The Touch of Pan (originally read in The Moons At Your Door, pdf version linked here): Really really love this one, first one I read by him in a multi-author anthology, it's a comfort read that I keep coming back to, definitely on the joyful/awe end of the spectrum, does refer to idiocy/lunacy but in a way that vibes with me personally neurodivergently and spins it as a neutral-positive thing misunderstood by society at large, lovely lovely lovely, 10/10

The Empty House (originally read in The Algernon Blackwood Collection, it's the first story in the linked pdf): Very solid and intimate ghost story, told through the emotional state of the characters as much as the actually environment and goings-on, spooky but not extremely scary, 7/10

The Damned (originally read in the ABC, pdf link): Excellent haunted house/something's real weird around here story, ever so gradually increases the tension and unsettling feel of the place in inventive modes of discovery, the ending peters out a bit for me but all in all a good read, 8.5/10

The Willows (og ABC, linked): Holy shit yeah this is what I'm fucking TALKING ABOUT this is atmospheric horror done so so right, moody and isolating and creepy and scary, this is the one with the gay subtext you may have heard about, there's a good reason this one is included in so many anthologies, if you can only read one read this one, 10/10

The Wendigo (og ABC, linked): Closest to a "classic" wilderness monster story I'm reviewing here, it's the longest read but well worth it, you can see where it's going pretty early on but it somehow still gets creepier and weirder and worse and oh god kill it, you'll either love it or hate it if you've binged creepypastas and greentext horror stories like I have, this one does have some problematic racial language (reference to an "N-word bar" in describing a black bar, referring to the native american character as "red" and in some "noble savage"-esque ways), as well as colonial-ish "ahaha we're men going on an adventure to unspoiled land pip pip cheerio," but if you can stomach that it's a truly unnerving story that will make you never want to camping ever again in your life, 9/10

Ancient Sorceries (originally read in the Ancient Sorceries anthology, pdf linked): I so badly wanted to like this one more, the setting is absolutely magical and the buildup is excellent, but it kind of runs out of steam for me with the reveal (which isn't super fair bc this story predates all the works that make the reveal a tired trope in my mind), still would recommend a gander, 10/10 up until part IV, 6/10 after, overall 8/10

The Listener (og AS, linked here): If there's one to skip in this whole list it'd be this one, another ghost story but not as good as others mentioned here, I think I may be missing historical context that would add weight to the horror (I wont spoil, but if you read it and know more about the subject of the reveal, please enlighten me), still a nice little mystery with some interesting characters and a creepy ghost, 5/10

The Sea Fit (og AS, linked here): Finishing out somewhat strong, extremely compact yet very dense, no wasted words, but paints extremely clear characters, setting, and events, somebody please make this a short film I will throw money at the kickstarter, spooky and unsettling but slightly more on the awe-inspiring end of the spectrum, 9/10

[blaacknoir]

I don't understand how people simply enjoy something. A book. A show. A song. An animal. Even when I say, "Eh, it's okay," I still have so may thoughts and feelings and emotions about why I feel like that. I am so full of passion about the things and people that I love that I can't express it. My brain has so many words, so many thoughts, that they come out of my mouth or my fingers as either an incomprehensible garble of sounds or as something removed and distant, like I'm writing fiction, to make expression easier.

I don't know how to have a casual conversation about a book; "Did you like it?" I ask. "Yeah, it was good," they say, and I am infuriated because I don't know what that means. My conversations seem one-sided, not because I don't know how to listen, but because I have so much to say.

I tell a classmate I like an artist; what I mean is that I like an album that is ten years old. "What do you think of their newer stuff?" he asks, and I'm confused. Why would I need anything new, when I'm so enamored with a decade-old song? I wonder. But did you know that this old album that I've loved since I heard it six years ago was the second album the artist did, and that they got their start playing gigs at a local university? Weird Al parodied this song, and got the extras from the original video to be in his version! Oh and that song was used on Scrubs on two different occasions. My classmate looks at me like I've started speaking Spanish and I pause, because isn't this how you love an artist? When you love a song, aren't you supposed to listen to it on repeat for three days straight before looking for covers and parodies so that you can listen to it even more?

"I'm a big fan of the MCU, " a coworker says. "I'm not really into superhero movies," I say, forcing back sharing my opinion on Infinity War/Endgame, because I know that will just lead to my Marvel Rant, and why I've become jaded and saddened by what's happened to a thing I love. She likes Marvel enough to see all their movies and then go home. I shuffle my comics and roleplaying history and fanfiction behind my back so she doesn't see.

My son sees my partner create buildings out of paper and sees me spin toys from yarn. He prints out page after page of paper toys, and shows me a link to a pattern on YouTube. My partner and I look at each other, because the things he's talking about are foreign to us, but he looks at us so earnestly as he chatters away about bizarre creatures from square worlds and bright round ones. He downloads a game and I begin googling so that we can talk back. (Our enthusiasm can't match his, but he doesn't seem to notice.) The next week he's on about something else, talking a mile a minute about a movie he just discovered that came out fifteen years ago. He doesn't seem to remember that his last fixation even exists. I can't remember if I've seen it or not. I suppress a small sigh (not from resentment, but from the exhaustion of trying to keep up). Oh well. At least I have my weekend plans now.

being autistic is beautiful and then you're afraid of abandonment because your brain has picked up on the exact patterns that signal another loss and then you step outside and there are patterns in the sky in the grass in every touch and every laugh. someone looks at you and there is a shift in their gaze to tell you "i know you're wrong. you are something wrong." something between pity and embarrassment and you want to rip it out of your body for a second and then you listen to music and the euphoria makes it all worth it because they could never experience this joy. you're sky-high. you look in the mirror and your eyes appear inexplicably vacant and then you read about how so many autistic kids are cleverer than everyone else as children and then the opposite afterwards. at a certain age you equalise. you grow sharper teeth and you bite off more than you can chew and you chew it all anyway. there's spring in the air and your brain functions like a scattergraph and when you think about it hard enough it's impossible not to fall in love. if you're an alien you're a lovely one. one day you fall in love and you know it's more intense than it should be but you love her anyway, knowing how it will end. are you invented for grief? are you invented for love, carrying grief?

truthfully being autistic puts a gun full of love to your head. i will always be a little bit more alone than everyone else but the shades of green seperate into a spectrum of feeling and this schematic of an engine is a poem to progress and every song i love is a holy hymn and when your brain is a scattergraph, once you love something, you love everything. you're more alone than everyone else and the least lonely creature on earth, even in isolation.

[liugeaux]

Greatest Songs Ever - Part 24 (This is Getting Easy)

Part 24 is here already. Songs have been hitting me left and right, and the best course of action is to get to anointing them ASAP.

I really feel like I'm developing an ear for songs that deserve the list. Some of them are songs I've loved for years while others I just stumbled upon and have fallen in love with. Either way, as always, this list has no skips, enjoy.

1983 "Always Something There to Remind Me" - Naked Eyes

A cover song that was first made famous by Lou Johnson and Sandie Shaw with two different versions in '64 and again in '69 by R.B. Greaves found new life in '83 when English New Wave group Naked Eyes recorded the most 80s version they possibly could. The original song though was written by Burt Bacharach and Hal David for Deion Warwick. Naked Eyes' version stands as the most ear-catching and the one with the longest legs. It could be the heavy keys or the synth drums, but this version evokes a very specific time and place. The icing on this cake is how blisteringly catchy the lyrics are.

1969 "Here Comes the Sun" - The Beatles

I've been trying to figure out how to include Beatles songs in this project. I definitely realize how absurd it is that I made it to 24 lists without a single Fab Four track. I thought maybe an all Beatles list was the way to go, or maybe a list with 5 Beatles tracks and 5 from another artist, but none of the ideas were really good enough. So here I am with the 232nd track, I'm finally choosing an iconic George Harrison masterpiece. "Here Comes the Sun" really speaks for itself, but I'll try to add to the conversation a bit. When people say "Ringo is a fantastic drummer" I imagine this song is part of their evidence. His percussion is slight and complimentary, while George's roller-coaster guitar part creates an adventure through what is otherwise a straightforward pop song. Late career Beatles gets whacky and weird at times, "Here Comes the Sun" is a grounded and aware anthem of hope, that is timeless in every sense of the word.

1996 "Return of the Mack" - Mark Morrison

Through his goose-like voice Mark Morrison spits so much swagger on "Return of the Mack" its hard to believe its a serious song performed with absolutely no irony. It's totally the song that should have been written by The Lonely Island for a movie about a fake R&B star. With that said, it works. It works, SO WELL! I feel cooler when I sing "Return of the Mack" and I have no business feeling cool.

2017 "Don't Stop" - Nothing More

The Jacoby Shaddix collab version of this song almost made the last list, but as much as I love Papa Roach, the original version is much better. Nothing More captures the feeling of crowd energy building right before a pit breaks out and then delivers just enough rage to keep the energy up and the pit at bay. Then right as the crowd can't take it anymore, at the 3:19 mark they drop the deepest funkiest bass drop that will vibrate your kidneys out of your ears. This drop signifies IT'S GO TIME! The whole thing is edging for metal concerts. You should be exhausted when "Don't Stop" is over, if you're not, then you're doing it wrong.

1972 "Let's Stay Together" - Al Green

Soul music, I don't really know much about it, but I love "Let's Stay Together". Not only is it a great needle drop in whatever it's played during, but it also has some of the most satisfying quirks sprinkled throughout. Most of the song is Green chewing up as much vocal delivery as possible with the backup singers bridging any gaps in his emotion-filled performance. The chorus of "Whether times are good or bad, happy or sad" kinda sneaks in unexpectedly. My favorite quirk is the duck-like trumpets that pop in at seemingly random times. They are so oddly placed and so loudly mixed, they are jarring. I love them, they keep the listener on their toes.

2005 "I'm Shipping Up to Boston" - Dropkick Murphys

I guess while we're talking about needle drops, this Dropkick Murphys song is always a good time when used in film. This song has both bag-pipes and an accordion and introduced me to the genre Celtic punk. I doubt I'll dive too deep into it, but I'm happy that it's out there. Everything about this song, this band, and even the album cover screams New England Irishman. They were shooting for an aesthetic and knocked it out of the park. There's a kinetic energy to "Boston" that makes you want to break someone's nose, but only after a few pints of shitty lager. It's such a unique vibe, this track could not be ignored.

1983 "Owner of a Lonely Heart" - Yes

Yes! "Owner of a Lonely Heart" could be the bop of the century. It's wild, every individual element of this track stands out as possibly the best part of the song. The simple churn of the guitar during the verse, the futuristic synth keyboard, the catchiness of the chorus, the thumping bass, the cacklely guitar solo, EVERY PEICE of this goddammed song would be the best part of any other song. When I think of Yes I think of classic rock, but this track is not content with just being another classic rock track. "Owner of a Lonely Heart" reaches for the future in a way a lot of early '80s songs did, and the outcome is a song that feels like classic rock 2.0. Like Zeppelin got a firmware update. I LOVE IT!

1967 "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" - Frankie Valli

"Can't Take My Eyes off You" is yet another song that sounds much older than it actually is. It feels like a big band track from many years before its actual release and because of this, seems even more timeless than its contemporaries. Not many songs get away with 2 full-on choruses, back to back, but "Can't Take My Eyes Off You" does it and you didn't even notice it. This is probably still a hit song without the big "I love you baby ...." crescendo, but its inclusion is an exclamation point on an already sweet and memorable chorus.

2002 "The Scientist" - Coldplay

I should give Coldplay another chance. At the time I was much too agro of a teen to properly appreciate what they were doing, and in retrospect, their early stuff isn't as bad as I remember it being. "The Scientist" is different though. The Coldplay version sits in this weird pocket where, as a foundation, the song is solid, but Martin's voice, delivery, and harmonies sound like demo recordings. Like, this is the version of the song they recorded to shop around to other artists. I actually feel like I've heard a better version of the song, but I can't find it (trust me, I looked ... and no it's not the Glee version, nor the Corinne Bailey Rae version). It's hard for me to sing along to it without tearing up a little and its simplicity leaves the whole song open for modification. Maybe my favorite version of "The Scientist" simply hasn't been recorded yet, somebody get to work.

1962 "In a Sentimental Mood" - Duke Ellington & John Coltrane

This Jazz classic makes me want to smoke cigarettes and drink scotch in a dingy New York nightclub. I've never appreciated Jazz, but I've always enjoyed it when it's just playing in the background. Some of the percussion timing confuses me, and the improvisational nature of the craft makes me wonder if anything from the genre belongs on this list at all. Ellington's piano work on this specific recording is haunting, and the way it's placed with hesitation on the measure makes it tickle the spine. Layered over that story-of-a-performance is a Sax riff that could seduce the stripes off a zebra. Instrumental tracks are still a new thing for me, and finding the emotion in them can be difficult. Either I'm getting better at it, or "In a Sentimental Mood" emotes like no other. It's probably the latter.

That's list #24! Next is 25 which seems like a landmark or something, but I made a big hoopla for #20 a short 8 months ago. The next one will likely be business as usual, but that's ok because I LOVE doing this. Maybe I'll have the Spotify playlist ready for the next one. See you next time.

Cheers!

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 26th May

Some songs are so huge that literally everybody is going to know them, whether or not they know the name. This is one of those songs, which has graced the UK charts in many, many guises over the decades - this is the first, but perhaps not the best known? Either way, I'm excited!

Unchained Melody - Al Hibbler (peaked at Number 2)

I have to confess, I kind of assumed the first time this hit the charts, it would be the original. I knew that Unchained Melody was from a film - in fact, it's not that the melody has been "unchained", it's that the melody is from the film Unchained, which is apparently a prison flick about a prisoner torn between serving his sentence and seeing his family for sure, or risking an escape. The song has overshadowed any real memory of this film, in the public eye, I suspect, but still, people know it's from a film.

Unfortunately, it turns out the film version is actually a completely different version, by a guy called Todd Duncan. Which, you will notice, is not this version! Al Hibbler recorded his version the same year, though, so this is still one of the earliest versions of the song.

We start with some unexpected orchestral frills, but pretty quickly get into the iconic opening lyrics, as Al sings Oh, my love, my darling / I've hungered for your touch / A long, lonely time. It's the sort of lyric that fits the idea of a prisoner perfectly, but is vague enough that it could be about anybody who's away from their love for whatever reason. So it's pretty relatable stuff, all longing and pining and insecurity about if the singer's love is still theirs.

It's interesting, because the rhythms of this version aren't what I was expecting. I think I know the Righteous Brothers' version, which hangs on some notes a lot longer. There are long, drawn-out notes, still, but especially the speed on the bit about how Lonely rivers flow / To the sea, to the sea takes you aback a little. It's funny how you internalise things like that, and how weird it feels to hear this proto-typical version of the song.

It's still very good. It's not quite a soul delivery, but it's soulful, and there are loads of notes that Al hits perfectly, with such a good mix of emotion and restraint. It doesn't feel overdone, but it does feel desperate, with some stellar choices made. In particular, I appreciated the I need your love line has a little voice croak on it, and the swoop downwards on God speed your love / To me right at the end.

I also really like the Lonely rivers flow / To the sea, to the sea metaphor, with the singer's love juxtaposed with the natural course of a river. It's a metaphor that's effective in loads of different ways. There's a sense of inevitability, of it being only natural, of patience, and of a sort of power that finds a way, over time, as well as the image of waters rushing and joining together and lovers being united as one. The change in pace and new melodic material only underscores the power of the metaphor. So good!

Yeah, I can see why this has become a staple. It's one of those songs you can't really make a bad version of - mediocre, sure, but it would take a lot to make this song actively bad.

This version is maybe a little fussier than I'm used to, at least with the strings and flutes in the instrumentation, and as I've said, some rhythms are a bit off from what I expected. They're pretty small things, though. Mostly, this song seems to have sprung fully formed into the world as a pop classic - and we're about to see at least three other versions of it, so clearly the good people of 1955 agreed. And well they might!

Sometimes I see a song with loads of covers and I dread it. What will I find to say? Will I grow to hate it? Will I just have nothing to add to previous entries? That's not really a concern, here, at least not yet. I guess we'll see what the next few entries throw at me, but tentatively I'm looking forward to hearing more versions of this. Which is probably the mark of a great song, right?

Best song of the absolutely iconic bunch: Unchained Melody

[drewandareview]

Mandatory Fun (2014)

Originally published July 19th, 2014

It's an ALBUM review.  Isn't that ABSOLUTELY INSANE calm down everybody.

I'd be surprised if you haven't heard, but the ol' clown "Weird Al" Yankovic has dropped his fourteenth, and likely last, studio album.  I had it pre-ordered and got up early just to listen to it when it first became available.  I think it's his best album to date.  I don't think it had anything to stack up to White & Nerdy (which to be fair, may be mathematically impossible to do--more on that in another review), but Mandatory Fun overall packed more of a punch than the album White & Nerdy found itself on.

One thing about White & Nerdy's album is that I wasn't too familiar with all the songs Weird Al was parodying; this isn't the case on his new album.  Every song he parodies was a smash hit that I know well.

My absolute favorite parody, hands down, is "Handy", which is a near-flawless parody of Fancy featuring a boastful handyman discussing his line of work.  I've always been highly amused by a nerdy thing being taken seriously, and this plays right to that trope.  (It also helps that I'm rather fascinated with handymen.)  My second favorite parody is "Word Crimes", a parody of Blurred Lines.  While I find the idea of picking on people's grammar errors tiresome, I still appreciated the educational flair.

His parody of Royals and Happy weren't too bad, and his parody of Radioactive was actually pretty uninspired.  I focus on his parodies because I personally admire them the most, but his originals were some of his best he's ever released.  He picked a nice batch of artists' styles to mimic and the premises were humorous and clever.  His polka was also one of his best, if not the best.  It was just a great comedy album worth buying.  But to my surprise, this album has brought something unexpected to my attention.

While parody has always been around, it wasn't the most pervasive art form before YouTube and video sharing.  Weird Al was generally the name you thought of when you thought parody.  When White & Nerdy came out, YouTube wasn't even a year old yet.  It wasn't in full force and Weird Al still had the field to himself.  But soon, videos on the Internet exploded, and Weird Al was not the only one making parodies.  Many people made parodies, either inspired by Weird Al or inspired by themselves.

And parodies are popular.  I've been studying this stuff for a while now; it's a very popular genre of video among the peoples.  Before YouTube, I went to Weird Al for my parodies.  After YouTube, I can find parodies left and right.  And naturally, I thought that this might be bad news for Weird Al.  

Sure, Weird Al would still be great.  While he was the only parodist people knew of back then, he was (and remains) absolutely great at his craft.  It takes intelligence to do a parody well, and Weird Al was a worthy choice as the frontrunner for the art form.  His most recent parodies covered some songs that had been extensively parodied by several people and he STILL managed to stand out with his own take.

However, I suspected his monopoly on parodies was coming to an end.  When his 2011 album came out, I hadn't heard too much about it.  His parodies really seemed to blend into the other parodies out there on the Internet.  This wasn't a bad thing; it just meant that the playing field looked like it was leveling.  

However, I knew Weird Al was capable of great stuff and anticipated his next album.  He delivered, and I was happy.  But what I wasn't expecting was for everybody to be happy.  In fact, Weird Al made an enormous splash with this new album.  I had never noticed his work capturing the attention of so many people.  It's still going on. EVERYBODY is talking about this.  As they should, because it's a very good album.  But it made me notice something: That the playing field was not level.  Despite all the parodies out there, this hype made it clear that the world still very much considers Weird Al the only true craftsman of the parody.

Weird Al remains (to my knowledge) the only mainstream parody artist with a record contract, and given his decades of relevance, I can understand his popularity.  While the Internet has provided an opportunity for other artists to release their parodies, so many of them have been awful.  It is, in fact, a pastime of mine to search for a specific song parody and watch all the terrible takes on it.  

But a select few parodies have been absolutely fantastic and deserve attention--and they aren't getting it.  Sure, they'll be watched on the Internet, but I can't imagine them ever getting the attention Weird Al's getting.  There's tradition behind Weird Al, but it's lead to a misunderstanding--that Weird Al is the only guy who makes legitimate parodies, and all other parodists are more like novelty acts.

I'm plenty happy for Weird Al, but not for other parody artists.  While they're certainly watched on YouTube and often find a committed audience, it seems the general public doesn't take them seriously.  I wish they would.  They deserve it.  Shucks, I deserve it.  I'm one of them.

I wish Weird Al many more years of success, but I also wish that somehow, other parody artists can become prominent.  I hope that the playing field is somehow leveled.  If video-sharing didn't do it, then it clearly goes beyond opportunity--it's perception.  And parody deserves to be perceived in a more illuminated and broad way. Because as wonderful as Weird Al is, I don't think "parody" should be exclusively attached to his name.  And of all people, I imagine Weird Al probably agrees with that the most.

[nothorses]

One thing that people against the terms transandrophonia/transmisandry often bring up is that the creator of either word is a bad person, and therefore we shouldn’t platform them by using the word. I really don’t see the logic in this. If enough people are using the term that don’t believe the supposed problematic ideas the originator believes, then surely it makes the originator obsolete. If anything, people making posts saying “____ the creator of (term) is a (problematic thing). Don’t use (term) because it means you support their ideas” is more so platforming the creator.

I just find the whole idea that the coiner of a word effects how that word is used. I mean, how far do we take this? Sorry guys, can’t use the word “welcome” because it was coined by vikings so if you use the word welcome then you condone murder. Also, apparently some words are fine if the creator is problematic? I believe the term “comphet” was created by a terf, but that’s fine apparently?

"Comphet" wasn't created by a TERF* so much as it has been used by TERFs and assorted radfems to justify bi/m-spec erasure, political lesbianism and lesbian seperatism, and various forms of transphobia since its inception.

It's not that the word was made by TERFs- it's that the word was used by TERFs, biphobes, panphobes, and radical feminists et al to perpetuate genuinely dangerous and bigoted ideas.

I'm not kidding around with this:

There was a major push, and has been a major push, to drop the term for these exact reasons. "Heteronormativity" does a great job of covering the same idea, and more, without the weird "sexuality is a choice" implications in Rich's theory. For years, it was one method of spotting TERFs and radfems online: if they use "comphet", that's a red flag. Dig deeper.

I'd say it's weird to see people now using the term with zero irony and zero criticism, but honestly, it's not. The people who picked the term back up are, if not TERFs, radical feminists who consider themselves "trans inclusive"- without doing any of the actual work required to unlearn transphobic (and misogynistic) ideas about what it means to be a woman or a man.

Which is exactly why the people using "comphet" are the same people arguing that "transandrophobia is dirty and corrupted by evil sexually predatory transmascs". "Comphet" is useful to their ideology- much moreso than "heteronormativity"- and "transandrophobia" directly challenges it by pushing people to confront the fact that white cis women are not, in fact, the standard against which we should measure all other oppression.

* The original creator of the concept was maybe a TERF, but there's a huge lack of clarity- she's credited in both an explicitly TERF book, and in Leslie Feinburg's Transgender Warriors. Granted, Feinburg had some weird ideas here and there (like that a matriarchal society would be inherently Good And Pure because women are Good and Pure), but honestly there just isn't much information to begin with.

[immaturityofthomasastruc]

IOTA Reviews: Truth

Hey. Hey guys. Remember when I said I was feeling optimistic about this season? God, that was funny, wasn't it?

Let's just... Let's just get into the actual first episode of Miraculous Ladybug's fourth season: Truth.

We start off with Gabriel repairing the damaged Peacock Miraculous, which also restores Duusu's sanity, before he quickly gives it a test run by transforming with both it and the Butterfly Miraculous.

And good lord, the result looks atrocious. This is the design for the new and improved Hawkmoth? First off, the peacock feather eyepatch looks stupid. Is he trying to be the Phantom of the Opera? When Mayura had the same thing, it didn't completely cover her eye and matched her color scheme. It just doesn't match with this new design here. Other than the feather, the peacock aesthetic is barely visible here. The most we get is a peacock feather pattern on the back of his jacket. And then there's the popped collar and coattails, which only look more ridiculous than menacing. What made the original Hawkmoth design work was how sleek it was. It was simplistic, which reflected Gabriel's no-nonense personality. This just looks gaudy and unnecessary. How was this right after the amazing suit the animators gave Dragonbug?

So after Gabriel designs another stupid looking outfit, we cut to Marinette, who's still trying to figure out how the Miracle Ball works. She accidentally opens it, letting the Kwamis out, who wreak havoc on her room because Marinette suffering is going to be a big part of this episode. This just raises the question: Why can't Marinette simply order them back into the box like Su-Han did, or rather, is going to do? It's still not established what gives the Guardians authority over the Kwamis in the first place.

Two of the Kwamis accidentally start a video chat with her friends, leading to some more Unfunny Marinette Slapstick. But Alya thinks something's up with her friend.

Has Marinette even told Alya she's already in a relationship? Like, at all? It feels like all Alya is there for now is to remind the audience that Marinette and Adrien are “meant to be”, even if they're both in relationships right now. It's either that, or teasing Marinette over her crush and doing nothing to help her anxiety.

Marinette accidentally ends the call, before Luka calls to thank her for the pictures of Adrien one of the Kwamis accidentally sent him. Yeah, even though he barely appears in this episode (barring his scenes at Cat Noir), they're going to talk about Adrien a lot. Marinette continues to stammer around Luka (once again making fun of people who have speech issues), but Luka, being the ray of sunshine in any abysmal episode he's in, is completely understanding of it. He also sets up a pretty funny joke.

Apparently, Marinette missed her last date with Luka yesterday to see a movie that was re-released, Crocodile Heart, that was actually Jagged Stone's first movie. I wonder if it's connected to Crocodile Dundee.

While walking to the movie, Luka and Marinette play a game finishing the lyrics of a Jagged Stone song, establishing the former as a huge fan of the rock star. Before we can actually get an on-screen kiss for Lukanette, Mr. Pigeon attacks yet again, because I guess he's the first villain Hawkmoth wants to use in his new form.

Cat Noir sneaks up on Ladybug, causing her to accidentally throw him off a building before catching him, chastising him for the stupid jokes, yet Ladybug has to apologize for missing patrol with her partner, who casually acknowledges her new status as Guardian before the two go and fight Mr. Pigeon.

By the time they defeat him, the movie ends as Marinette gets back, disappointing Luka. We then get a montage of Marinette bailing on Luka multiple times to stop Akumas and Sentimonsters. To his credit, Luka is seriously torn up by all the times Marinette leaves him, showing he isn't just a calm soul.

After Marinette gets back, Luka takes her underneath a bridge to listen to the echoing sound of the water. Luka says that he never knew his father, and he would always go here to relax whenever he got stressed. He uses this to segue into asking Marinette where she constantly disappears to. He doesn't pressure her or anything like Alya, and he even says that if she still loves Adrien, he'll understand. He only asks for the truth. Unfortunately, Marinette can't tell him the truth, which just breaks the poor boy's heart.

Hawkmoth, now calling himself Shadowmoth, sends out an Akuma and an Amok for Luka at the same time, corrupting a guitar pick signed by Jagged Stone that Marinette gave him. And again, to Luka's credit, he fights back against Shadowmoth's influence at first, saying he trusts Marinette, but the temptation of knowing the truth is too good to pass up. He tells Marinette to run before being akumatized into Truth, assisted by the Sentimonster Pharro.

Truth's design is... pretty forgettable. The guitar pick being prominent around his neck is a nice touch, but it's just a generic black bodysuit with light blue highlights, and he has a third eye instead of a visible mouth. Pharro is also pretty boring, just a giant eye that freezes people in place so Truth can use his powers to make them tell the truth.

So Truth goes back to where everyone else was hanging out before he was akumatized and asks Alya to tell him the truth about Marinette.

Yeah, he's right, Alya. That's what you believe. We're supposed to treat Alya saying Marinette loves Adrien as an unbiased source. Truth asks Rose, Mylene, Tom, and Sabine what Marinette's secret is in this episode, and they all say she's in love with Adrien. That isn't actually the truth. It's like asking an atheist if there is a God. You know what they believe is the truth, but you don't know if that answer is actually the truth. Why not have them reveal other secrets about Marinette, giving the audience subtle character details? Like the writers could make someone say stuff like she still sleeps with a nightlight on, or that she secretly gets cookies from another bakery.

You know what also would have worked? Instead, have Truth catch Marinette before she transforms into Ladybug, ask who she actually loved, and then she'll blurt out Adrien's name, shocking both her and Luka. This could also make Ladybug's confidence in herself waver throughout the episode, wondering if she actually loved Luka at all. That would have been much better drama than what we're going to get instead.

Ladybug charges in to stop Truth, but is zapped by his truth ray, meaning she'll be forced to tell the truth when asked any question. Before she can admit her identity, Cat Noir saves her by retreating with her into the Seine, before reassuring Ladybug that he wouldn't force her to tell the truth by force. It's a nice bit that does show he respects Ladybug's secret, a far cry from his behavior in episodes like “Syren” and “Frozer”. Truth turns his attention to his mother Anarka, and asks who his father is.

Yes. Seriously. This is happening. Luka's father is actually Jagged Stone. I have... mixed feelings regarding this development, but my biggest question is, well... they're doing this now? They couldn't save this for another episode? I mean, was focusing on Luka and Marinette's relationship (something that had been established since Season 2) not good enough of a plot for the writers? Why shoehorn in this plot development? Why not save this part as a teaser for a future episode? You know, have Luka walk home, and remember what he made his mother say as Truth, setting up an episode focusing on his relationship with Jagged Stone.

But no! Instead, we're just supposed to go along with the plot taking a detour. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I don't want Jagged Stone to appear in this episode.

Truth heads over to the hotel where Jagged Stone lives and asks him if he's actually his father, the latter admitting that Anarka was right. Truth naturally isn't happy.

Well, to be fair, it's still a better title than his first drafts, like “It's Not My Fault the Condom Broke”, or “Up Yours, I'm Not Paying the Child Support, Bitch”.

Honestly, I can get what the writers are going for, and I like the idea of them trying to give some depth to a character who was mostly used for comic relief in earlier episodes. The problem is, as much as they want to portray Jagged as regretful for walking out on his family, it still doesn't excuse him for never even bothering to check in on his children and their mother while writing a song about it. He doesn't even bother to give some money to the person he knocked up.

I'm not saying a conflicted relationship like this can't work in animation (a decent example being Steven Universe slowly growing to resent his mother for her time as Pink Diamond and believing his birth was an excuse for her to avoid responsibility), but you need to put more emotion into this. I don't come from a broken home, but if it turned out my dad was, let's say, “Weird Al” Yankovic, even if I enjoy his music, I wouldn't be happy that he decided to come back now of all times without so much as a “hello”.

Truth goes to Marinette's house/bakery, and starts looking for Marinette's diary to find out her secrets. It's almost like the minor plotline that he has a deadbeat dad was only there to eat up airtime. Ladybug is still affected by Truth's powers, and not long after she summons her Lucky Charm, Cat Noir is zapped too, so he starts asking questions that basically amount to complimenting certain qualities he and Ladybug have. When Ladybug asks him what he thinks about her being Guardian, Cat Noir says nothing's changed between them. It's a nice strategy, very reminiscent of when they had to talk in rhyme when fighting Frightengale. I'm also glad they aren't trying to play up Cat Noir not feeling as important immediately now that his partner has access to top secret information.

Cat Noir Cataclysms Pharro, but rather than destroying the Sentimonster, it causes it to go out of control, accidentally paralyzing Truth with some manipulation from her and Cat Noir. Ladybug then de-evilizes both the Akuma and Amok, defeating Truth.

Marinette struggles to find the words to explain things to Luka, but he says that he'll be waiting for her when she's ready. While walking back to his houseboat, Luka runs into Jagged Stone, who promises to write a song together with him. Because I guess Shadowmoth was kind enough of him to not erase that part of his memory. And of course, Luka just accepts this despite the fact that Jagged was absent from his entire life.

So according to this show, you shouldn't bother to give mean people a second chance, but it's okay to give your deadbeat dad a second chance without harboring any negative feelings? I'm sorry, but I just don't see the point of shoving in this subplot if you're barely going to do anything with it before coming to a resolution. If there was more detail put into it, like if Luka just angrily lashed out at Jagged for abandoning his mom, I would have been more open to it. But in the end, this major character revelation is nothing more than filler the episode doesn't need.

We cut to what I'm surprised doesn't happen at the end of every episode given how much crap she gets, Marinette crying in her bed, saying it's too dangerous to have a boyfriend thanks to Shadowmoth. One of the Kwamis apparently doesn't know what crying is, so Marinette asks them to give her a hug, and the showrunners really need to find another song to play at the end, because the upbeat song playing doesn't go with Marinette crying at all. Imagine if this song played at the end of Deep Space Nine's “In the Pale Moonlight” when Captain Sisko confessed to basically being an accessory to the murder of an alien ambassador. It'd be tonally jarring, wouldn't it?

Even the ending image doesn't feature Luka and Marinette together. Instead, he's hugging it out with Deadbeat Stone like everything's okay.

So yeah, that's how the episode ends. In case you couldn't tell, I thought it was awful.

Remember in my New York Special review, where I theorized that Astruc rewrote it to focus more on Adrienette to stop people from shipping Lukanette? I have another theory that I also want to be taken with a grain of salt. I think this episode might have also been rewritten a little to follow up on that. I mean, why else would Astruc spend two seasons building up Luka's relationship with Marinette only to rip it away the episode after they officially get together? It would also explain why it feels like there's two separate episodes going on with how shoehorned in Jagged Stone is.

But other than that, this episode managed to screw up the one thing I was actually looking forward to about this season, seeing Marinette together with Luka. Even if they were going to break up, I was hoping there would at least be a character arc for Marinette where she realizes what she truly wants in a relationship isn't with Luka, leading into a relationship with Adrien where she feels more confident in herself. I was at least hoping their relationship would last more than A SINGLE EPISODE.

In fact, remember that tweet Astruc made soon after the New York Special, defending Marinette and Adrien essentially cheating on Luka and Kagami respectively?

What exactly was so complicated about Season 4 when you're immediately going to break up a couple you spent two seasons building up? Astruc's predictions are about as accurate as Uri Geller.

And then there's the fact that all everyone talks about this episode is Adrien. Marinette's wall is covered with pictures of him, Alya thinks her friend's abnormal behavior is because Adrien's in the room with her, Luka somehow knows Marinette loves Adrien and is actually cool with it, and everyone else thinks that it's her biggest secret. How convenient is it that all of this happens when barring his scenes as Cat Noir, Adrien doesn't appear in this episode barring a five second cameo?

When I was writing this episode, I saw a tweet Astruc made addressing a question someone posed, asking why Adrien didn't get as much screentime in the recent Shanghai Special. He said that “history does not revolve around him”.

For the love of God, writers, just give Marinette a plotline that doesn't revolve around her feelings for Adrien for once. People already started to get sick of it halfway through last season. Either have her confess and make the Love Square canon, or stop letting it dominate the main story for once. Why can't the writers just let her move on from Adrien for more than a single episode? Give her a goddamn break already.

I once again have to ask: what was the point of building up a relationship between Luka and Marinette since Season 2, if you're just going to break them up the second they get together? Why make a big deal about Marinette's conflicted feelings for both Adrien and Luka if you're just going to ignore her feelings for the latter in favor of the former? And remember, chronologically, this was right after the end of Chloe's “damnation arc”, another plotline that had been built up since Season 2 only to be aborted in favor of “sUbVeRtInG tHe AuDiEnCe'S eXpEcTaTiOnS”. It feels like the writers are trying to punish people for getting emotionally invested in any storyline that doesn't relate to the holy pairing that is the Love Square.

This episode is just frustrating to watch. Part of me knew Marinette and Luka were going to break up, but I didn't think it would be this bad, and it would be so soon. I'm glad they're on somewhat good terms, and I liked the buildup to Luka realizing Marinette might not trust him, but the timing of this episode is what baffles me the most. Is it any wonder I think Astruc may have rewritten this episode?

If any Lukanette shippers need to recover, I'd recommend checking out @mc-lukanette​. They have some wholesome one-shots and fix-it fics for some of the weaker episodes of the series. In fact, she already wrote a fix-it to this abysmal episode that’s so much better than what we got.

[upside-down-uni]

Hey! Idk if this is too much t9 ask, but could you rec me 2, 19, 20, 45, 55, 63, 69, 71, 72, 75, 86, 104, 111, 116, 131? sorry if it’s a lot but thanks in advance if u can rec me some! :)

Hi, you're in luck! I have an essay to procrastinate on and this ask is just the right thing to distract me! Here you go, I hope you'll find something that you like:

2. a book with a blue cover

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. When i read it for the first time I was just on the brink of going to uni, still figuring out what I even wanted to study and this book just wrapped me in a warm blanket and said "it's going to be okay". I love the main characters Frances and Aled, their arcs and especially the really nice and quiet queer rep in this book.

19. a book that put you in a reading slump

The Knife Of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness. When I start a book I generally have the feeling that I can't put it away until I have finished it. With The Knife Of Never Letting Go my problem was that I did want to read it but it didn't fit my mood, so I couldn't bring myself to read it but also beat myself up about not reading it until I put it back onto my shelf. So, I basically pushed myself into a reading slump over this book.

21. a book with a red cover

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers. I enjoyed this book so much but probably not for the reasons most people would think I enjoyed it? The wlw romance was definitely nice and I really liked them being dramatic but also kind of mundane? What really got me though was the strong theme of found family of young adults and queer friendships, that really yanked the yearning hours wide fucking open for me. (I also liked that in the end the book wasn't as much about romance as it was about finding yourself after surrendering yourself to academia for ages and working through your issues.)

45. a book featuring the friends to lovers trope

The Priory Of The Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. I adore this book. It's so long and there's so much incredible world building and history in it that it made reading an untter delight! Coming in it was a bit hard to acclimate to the slow paste but after a while I just settled in and enjoyed the ride. It's a breathtaking story in a breathtaking universe and afaik there's a second part coming!

55. a book with a satisfying ending

Yolk by Mary H. K. Choi. Yolk doesn't really have an ending in the sense of a "happily ever after" but I really loved where the author chose to leave the characters and how she did it. The book is quite different from what I usually read, tonewise, but especially that ending made me leave the book with a warm feeling. (also the cover is yellow and really really gorgeous)

63. a book that actually made you laugh out loud

I would've reccd Red White and Royal Blue but judging by your url you've read that already...sooooo, it's Snapdragon by Kat Leyh! Super cute graphic novel, with a weird and adorable storyline and such lovable characters!

69. your favorite mythological retelling

I haven't read a mythological retelling in ages, so basic Percy Jackson by Rick Riordan will have to do.

71. your favorite LGBTQ+ fiction

now that's just rude how am I supposed to choose?? I'll say it's Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire and Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir and Loveless by Alice Oseman. I feel very strongly and very distinctly about all of them, if you can get your hands on them my only comment is READ. (and maybe make sure you're okay with gothic sci-fi horror for Gideon The Ninth)

72. a book with a gorgeous cover

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. It's her adult gothic horror debut after The Miseducation of Cameron Post and not only is the hardcover just stunning in black and red, it also got illustrations inside!! (And all teh women are queer and it's deliciously fucked up!)

75 a book featuring the I'm not like other girls trope

I think the closest I can come to that is The Lady's Guide To Piracy and Petticoats by Mackenzi Lee. The main character has to unlearn a bunch of stuff really fast if she wants to get along with the only other people that will help her. We have road trips in the 16th century, kidnapping and asshole husbands to be, piracy of course and friendship!

86. a book with an insane plot twist

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand. Sawkill Girls was my first touch with horror and I have to say I have no idea whether there was heavy foreshadowing. I think I remember thinking that there was something else to come but when the shit hit the fan I just sat there with big questionmarks over my head because I had read the book in a frenzy in one evening and truly did NOT anticipate it. As someone who did not read horror or thriller before this I have to say I was already insanely confused and disgusted by a bunch of stuff that went down. But then...uh. the thing happened and I was just lost. (In a good way though.)

104. a fluffy sweet read

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann. It's been a while ever since I read it but it's essentially a cute summer story about Alice who's a disaster bisexual when she sees people she finds cute. Which is a little inconvenient because the new guy at her job is really, really, really extremely cute and she ceases to function around him. There's best friend drama, eating pizza iirc and figuring shit out!

111. a book writing a book

I assume it's either "a book about writing a book" or I am literally supposed to rec a book that is writing a book...I'm going to rec a book that is about books! (because I can.) It's The Girl Who Reads on the Métro by Christine Féret-Fleury and it follows a young woman called Juliette wo gets sucked into an old bookseller's world of life saving, life changing books. A really quiet, really cute book.

116. a book with multiple povs

the Reckless books by Cornelia Funke! Simply divine stroytelling, a vibrant world and amazing characters! I have to say that I only know the German original so I don't know what the English translation might be like.

131. recommend any book you like

um. so knife gang members and people who follow my main, you'll once again be subjected to me being a mess because of lesbian necromancers in space! I've mentioned it before, it lives in my head rent free, it is the one, the only Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir! It's an insane sci-fi horror fantasy blend where Gideon has to play cavalier to Reverend Daughter Harrowhark I-love-being- an-absolute-pain-in-the-ass-to-Gideon Nonagesimus to help her become an uber-necromancer (like Harrow needs motivation to become even more of a nerd and shockingly good at necromancy) for the Necrolord Prime/Undying Emperor. There's BEAUTIFUL WRITING sprinkled with MEMES when you least expect it. There is incredible toxic codependency and repression. There's MURDER. There's fancy necromancy theorems and DUELS. There's enemies to begrudging allies to ??? Staple your socks to your feet or this book will blow them clean off!