#egg and I

[inbabylontheywept]

so once me and my wife were watching a documentary where a snake ate like a million eggs. that snake just went to fucking town on eggs. and the snake made the eggs look so good that i kept thinking about it, and thinking about it, and thinking about it, and eventually it was 11pm and i ran out of willpower and decided to eat one (1) singular raw egg just to prove to myself that the snake was surely a liar.

the snake was not a liar. texture is like, super important to me and raw eggs are very Texture so i had another one, and then another one, and then another one, and eventually i ran out of eggs.

i had like, fifteen raw eggs.

i didnt really know how to explain this momentary madness to my wife, so my Plan was to put all the eggshells into a grocey bag, and then throw that grocery bag in the dumpster, and if she never noticed that would be Excellent and if she noticed immediately i could lie and say that the eggs went bad.

except i cant lie very good, and of course with murphys law being such, i got salmonella.

so i threw up a lot and my wife asked me what poisoned me so and i tried very hard to dodge the question but i was oozing shame like oil from a room temperature cheese and eventaully i gave in and told her everything and to her enormous credit she was more flabbergasted than actually upset. she did make me promise to not eat any more raw eggs, which i have stuck to, and she gives me weird looks during nature documentaries now as if desire was the only thing keeping me from eating thousands of pounds of krill anyway i made a joke earlier about being able to eat my age in eggs and my sister in law in law made a drawing to comemorate the moment and also because it was my birthday. she's excellent. thank you 10000000% @cintailed. you should all visit her page and admire her work.

[imperatoralicia]

I get a lot of entertainment thinking about how containers are used in video games sometimes.

[clonerightsagenda]

I was rambling on the issue of museums and human remains and how certain populations are more likely to have their bodies put on display to be gawked at and then went "well I guess the Pompeii casts were of Europeans. there are bones in there right?" and Googled it to make sure, at which point I confirmed that yes there are bones in there, but more interestingly DNA testing revealed that a cast of an adult holding a child everyone assumed was a mother and child were, in fact, a man and a kid entirely unrelated to him. Honestly that's more moving to me. Maybe they were connected in a way other than blood, but maybe a stranger saw a child when the world was ending and thought the one thing he could do was hold them.

[lemongogo]

mimics

[cannibalhellhound]

@rabbit-factory getting more data because it really is an amazing question to ask

This conversation happened at 6am btw

Answer in the tags ↓

[polymoth]

The thing they don't tell you about fried egg runny yolk is that if you put it in a sandwich it will be the best most delicious thing and you can mop up the egg with the bread, but in exchange you Will get so so messy and covered in egg yolk

[supd00dle]

First I wanted to draw Maria’s new model but then—

ARK SIBLINGS AND EGG SIBLINGS

[notherpuppet]

Good morning 🍎📻

[nrmtenjoyer]

Jake is so real because if I had stretchy powers I'd be 100% doing stupid shit like this

[eemamminy-art]

I love that they added these new bits of dialog about how much he likes eggs—

I'M SORRY????

[frostedpuffs]

HAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[deoidesign]

sometimes I feel like discord is lacking emojis and so I make them myself. these ones in particular are my favorites

frog, toad, and soup!

Feel free to use them if you'd like!

[tadfools]

The most important NPC in Baldur’s Gate btw

[candyje11yfish]

YOU'RE TELLING ME A FRYE FRIED THIS RICE⁉️⁉️

[poor-ciceros-voring-again]

It's so fucked up how they both low-key thought about each other in the same exact ways huh

[eggbabey]

welcome reddit refugees