#ebon light incorrect quotes

[secretswansong]

Vadeyn: You’re going to hurt her.

What Vadeyn really meant: If you break that girl’s heart, I will kill you. That’s just a figure of speech. But seriously, if you break that girl’s heart, I will literally kill you (and your entire family).

[dramaticalsquirrel]

laceaga: sometimes mc talks in her sleep. it’s adorable.

mc [talking in her sleep]: fight me, motherfuckers... i think the fuck not... who the hell do you think you are...

laceaga: so adorable

[ewa-jednak-chce-spac]

Duliae Laushust: Women, and some men, want me. Fish fear me. Dermatologists hate me. Hot singles in my area want to meet me. God WISHES he were me

[secretswansong]

Ernol: How do you tolerate him?

What Ernol really meant: Duliae is ruining Alenca’s life. She thinks he is so special, and he’s so not. His personality is like a 3. His sense of humor is a 2. His ears are like a 7 and a 4. Add it all up and what do you get? 16. And she treats him like he’s a perfect 40. It's nuts.

[secretswansong]

Laceaga: No, Vadeyn, they are not breathing. And they have no arms or legs, where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs, do we bother resuscitating them? What quality of life do we have there?

[secretswansong]

Haron: My perfect Valentine’s Day?

Haron: I’m at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the fifty restaurant reservations I made over six months ago.

[secretswansong]

Alenca, to Laceaga: Lacey, you've clearly got some serious (mother) issues that have left you the emotional equivalent of a scavenging sewer rat. But, in Edric, I would be living with an actual scavenging sewer rat, so you win.

[secretswansong]

Ernol: Last year, Haron asked me how to set up a blog.

Ernol: Wanting to protect the world from being exposed to Haron’s brain, I opened up a Word document on his computer and put an address at the top. I’ve read some of it. Even for the Internet, it’s... pretty shocking.

[secretswansong]

Alenca: Wow, that’s a lot of knives.

Ernol: The bigger the arsenal, the more powerful the man.

Alenca: That’s right, the Onyx Chandler said that.

[secretswansong]

Duliae, probably: Make friends first, make sales second, make love third. In no particular order.

[secretswansong]

Alenca, to Ernol: Ernol, I don't think you're mad at me. You're mad at yourself. You let down your guard, and let someone into your life, and... and it actually felt okay. And that terrifies you.

[dramaticalsquirrel]

Vadeyn: *eating a cinnamon roll*

MC: Cannibalism.

Vadeyn: *innocent, confused chewing noises*

[dramaticalsquirrel]

MC: I like your new outfit.

Duliae: Thanks; it was 50% off.

MC: I’d like it better 100% off.

Duliae: Stores can’t give away clothes for free

MC: That’s not what I meant-

Duliae: That’s a terrible way to run a business, MC.

[dramaticalsquirrel]

Vadeyn: Gawloyes gave me a get better soon card.

MC: Aw, that’s sweet!

Vadeyn: I wasn’t sick. He just thought I could do better.

[dramaticalsquirrel]

[Gawloyes and Mietwen are lying in bed together]

Gawloyes, wrapping his arms around Mietwen and softly kissing her: Goodnight, my love.

Mietwen, gently reaching back to touch his face: Get the fuck off my side of the bed.

[ewa-jednak-chce-spac]

Laceaga: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast!

MC: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast, Lacey?

Laceaga: I... No!