#dwick dwickscast syndykyt

[cerberusdailynews]

DWICKRISE

Dwickcast CEO Resumes Duties After Near-Death Scare

via Aegro Clausulus, Dwick Dwickcast Syndykyt Rag NOS DWICKA, ILLIUM - DDS CEO Jorgal “Dwick” Lenny resumed majority control of the Dwick Dwickcast Syndykyt earlier this Wednesday, following weeks of turmoil that nearly saw him, his company, and the de facto city he rules destroyed. Mr. Dwick claims he has experienced a “complete” remission from the disease that nearly killed him, and that the same serum therapy used on him is being conducted on all those who were similarly infected in Nos Dwicka. “This [expletive] couldn’t have been done without the crazy-[expletive] busywork done by the Dwick Institute for the Research of Taint sYndrome,” CEO stated in a press conference confirming his reinstatement as CEO this afternoon. “Iit sure-as-[expletive] couldn’t have been done without my better half keeping the city’s [expletive] together while I was dead.” Drau Lura, whose efforts to find a cure for those suffering “Taint” sickness in Nos Dwicka, is currently recovering at Declan Xavier Memorial from injuries sustained thwarting a coup attempt by DDS Corporate Security “Lemmus” Lepetomay. She is expected to make a full recovery. CORPSEC IN TATTERS Mr. Dwick’s first executive action following reinstatement has been an official disbanding of the Syndykyt’s Corporate Security department, citing Mr. Lepetomay’s attempted coup as “the last [expletive] straw, not to mention the last [expletive] chance for anyone to see any worth in this [multiple expletives] department.” The move has been perceived as largely ornamental to the public, as active members of the security wing surrendered themselves into custody following Lepetomay’s televised defeat, and as the central police station was retaken by Dwickcast Writers Guild members shortly thereafter. Mr. Dwick has been cagey about those detained during this action, citing the difficulty of “handling of security reasons without a [expletive] security department” as his primary reason. With the end of one security wing, however, is the apparent rise of another. Advertisements for positions in “Nos Dwicka Civil Protection” have already appeared on the Syndykyt’s employment site. Mr. Dwick has already been on the forefront on these, stating that “none of the [expletive] who even considered siding with that [expletive]” would be allowed anywhere near the department or its administration. “Our interest has been, and shall always be, the Nos Dwickan people,” stated newly-Appointed Chief of Civil Protection Bellator Turp from his hospital bed at Declan Xavier Memorial, where he is recovering from wounds inflicted by Mr. Lepetomay during the coup. “No longer shall we, your armed law enforcement, be corporate security thugs. Our overriding goal is, and should’ve always been [sic], rebuilding homes and trust.” No officers allegedly involved in the coup attempt were available for comment, though unofficial reports claim that notable co-conspirators Julo “Cragface” Tagris, Nelson Murdock, Nakmor Narstak, Chez Chezlin, and Felvin Dufrane have been apprehended. CEO’S WILL TO BE CARRIED OUT Mr. Dwick authorized the partial execution of his own Last Will and Testament as part of his reinstatement today, beginning the process of redistributing a significant percentage of his wealth into the communities most affected by his brush with death. "It's real likely that there's going to be a [expletive] shootenanny if I snuff it," the CEO said in a video segment of his will made available to the public. "I can't guarantee it'll be near so hilarious as the first time. Too many gangs, rivals, too many [expletive]heads [expletive] bickering for power. And while they're playing nice now, I can't guarantee the whole thing won't go off like a [expletive] bomb when I do. Again, I mean." Mr. Dwick’s will contained multiple triggers for distribution in the case of a posthumous power struggle, during which his estate would be disbursed among those whose homes and livelihoods were most damaged by the fallout. Mr. Dwick has instructed executors to allow many of these to be carried out despite his survival, emphasizing reparations to the poorest among the city and specifically excluding potential beneficiaries among Nos Dwicka’s upper crust. "[Expletive] those [expletive]ing [expletive]s,” Mr. Dwick stated in a later section of the recording. "If they can’t find a [epithet: volus] to hide their [expletive] for a rainy day, it's their [expletive] fault." For these reasons (and others), Mr. Dwick is expected to move from his penthouse estate to a considerably more austere location in the Babetown district. “The food was always better down there,” Mr. Dwick stated to reporters asking about the relocation. “More tasty, more greasy, just more.” REPAIRS UNDERWAY The dismantling of DDS Corporate Security and release of Mr. Dwick’s funds appear to be kick-starting repair work across Nos Dwicka. Multiple programs are already underway to restore the city to its pre-”Dwickrise” status. Plants and agricultural centers lost during the CorpSec-induced firebombing are already being replanted, and initial planning has already been drafted for a new feral kakliosaur habitat in West Craterville’s eponymous Reaper impact site. “The firebombing attack CorpSec launched on Nos Dwicka wasn’t just an act of terrorism, it was an unspeakable act of animal cruelty,” said Nella Yelisi, a town Councilwoman who speaks on behalf of the Babetown district. “The kakliosaur species has only recently brought back to the galaxy, and only under extreme measures. They are a priceless part of krogan history. It is on each and every one of us, including us salarians, to prevent that from happening again.” Funding has also been channeled into building repair works and utility updates for the city’s poorer residents. Those residents with damages related to the CorpSec coup have been prioritized, with households and small businesses at the firebombing’s epicenter placed at the top of the list. “There are folks who like to watch from afar and comment what a trash place Nos Dwicka is,” said Growth Intelligence and Material Procurement Strategist Urdnot Branka, speaking on the subject from her hospital bed where she, like her employer, is recovering from late-stage Taint infection. “They would be right. Any job found here is usually up at 1 Dwickcast Tower. Two years ago, I started working in construction and personally saw how rough things were. The slums were awful, the ‘richer’ districts even worse. But that's to be expected when you live in the aftermath of Reaper-destroyed areas. With an incident like this coup, you think that would be the end of it...but this place is like a field after a fire. Under the ashes are good things ready to grow.” A CITY RETURNS TO PEACE The past months have been a chaotic whirlwind for the people of Old Nos Astra, but these events seem to be finally drawing to a close. The fires have been extinguished, evacuees are returning to their homes, and those driven to the brink by the Taint are on the path to recovery. Most people in the city are still grappling with the consequences of the “Dwickrise”, but it appears the city is already working to mend the wounds dealt to it. Like the very krogan who line this city’s spine, Nos Dwicka is a city bent on survival, and it is determined to flourish no matter what cards are dealt to it. As for the krogan at its epicenter, Mr. Dwick plans to spend a little more time healing alongside Ms. Lura, though he warns that those imagining his new, slimmer stature as “the new, improved Dwick” are seriously deluding themselves. “People don’t call me the big [expletive] boss-man for nothing,” Mr. Dwick said to the audience, winking behind a varren haunch the size of his head at his reinstatement luncheon. “You’re going to see a whole lot [expletive] more of me in the future.”

[cerberusdailynews]

BABETOWN SAYS “HELL NAW”

Civilians defy martial law in Nos Dwicka, claim leadership to be staging a “coup”

Via Arno Wessig, Dwick Dwickcast Syndykyt Rag Babetown, ILLIUM - Gunfire and explosions are rattling the streets of Illium’s most infamous city today as civilians mount a resistance against its central police force, the Dwick Dwickcast Syndykyt’s Corporate Security department. The department declared martial law on the city earlier this week, a move that appears to have largely backfired. “It’s definitely a bit of a pickle out there,” said DDS Interim Security Chief Lepetomay when reached for comment. “[It] seems there are those in our borders that would recreate that whole Dwickfall kerfuffle four years ago. But let me tell you, Mr. and Mrs. Citizen: your friendly police officers at Dwickcast CorpSec are doing everything we can to keep that from happening.” Those on Nos Dwicka’s streets have had a less charitable description of the situation. Members of the city’s primarily-krogan district of Babetown, for instance, have reported skyrocketing cases of police brutality, complete with multiple accusations of alleged crimes being ignored or outright committed by the police force itself. “Residents here have done nothing but run for safety,” accused Drau Nunda, a local kowla wrestler working for the district, speaking within her barricaded Babetown home. “If they’re caught out on the streets, they’re beaten within an inch of their lives! Gangs are roaming freely; where’s the justice in that?” “The asari abandoned this city to start over in New Nos Astra,” said Odrogar Khas’bath, a former Artisan-caste batarian who now does repair work in Babetown, “so this is our home now. And some third-rate hack calling himself a chief is not going to lay the blame on us for turning it into the [expletive]hole it was!” Odrogar’s sentiments were echoed by his brother, Ikomak, who has been charged with breach of curfew while under martial law. “Dwick wasn’t perfect, but his company still provided jobs for us, gave us a fighting chance,” Kas’bath said from his prison cell. “If anyone knocked us down, it was CorpSec and their hold on the neighborhoods. It’s what kept the slums what they were. We lived in fear of them and the gangs they corresponded with.” “Mr. Lemalein Lepetomay has a record of abusing his station of power,” said Nella Yelisi, a salarian councilwoman who organizes business within the district. “Most of the residents in Nos Dwicka have lived here since the days of the Tyche Vidcast Syndicate. The actions of he and his men mirror what used to happen on a regular basis.” Nos Dwicka CorpSec, meanwhile, has turned many of these indictments on the citizenry itself, accusing many of these spokespeople of committing the very crimes they have complained about. “Now, I would never accuse Mr. and Mrs. Citizen of breaking the law, but this is projection, plain and simple. Ever since Mr. Dwick’s death, there has been a power vacuum in play,” said Mr. Lepetomay , referencing recent unconfirmed allegations of Mr. Dwick’s passing. “Is it really all that surprising that every criminal in the city is coming out of the woodwork, trying to tear down the best leadership available in these trying times? Is it surprising at all that, even now, there are those that would take us back to the chaos following the war?” There are those within the Dwickcast Syndykyt’s power structure that would disagree, however. “Mr. Lepetomay assertion of a power vacuum within the executive powers of the Syndykyt are baseless and false,” stated Prundil Bodum, former personal assistant to Mr. Dwick and Executor of his estate. “Mr. [Dwick] took great care to coordinate the transfer of his worldly belongings, including control of the company, before his alleged death. These affairs are being tended to by Ms. Drau Lura, along with matters involving curing the ailment that struck him down. There has been no communication between Messrs. Lepetomay and Lura regarding the institution of martial law. Any assertion thereof by the former is scurrilous, fatuous and invalid.” Mr. Lepetomay had no comment regarding any communications between the Executive and Security wings of the Dwickcast Syndykyt. Instead, he Noted that, as interim Security Chief, he has been invested with the authority to decide matters of security for greater Nos Dwicka. “Unlike Mr. Dwick’s girlfriend, I was picked for my job and wasn’t chosen on account of my intimacy with my boss,” stated Mr. Lepetomay , referring to Ms. Lura. “Given the difficult times we live in, it would be greatly appreciated if she were to leave affairs of the city’s safety to me.”

[cerberusdailynews]

[ILLIUM] DDS CEO SLIPS INTO COMA

via The Yellow Pen NOS DWICKA, ILLIUM--The actor, writer, and CEO known as Jorgal “Dwick” Lenny entered a coma at approximately 1600 hours local time yesterday afternoon, the result of a deadly illness that has spread through several members of his ranks at the hands of charlatan “shaman” Nakmor Narstak. His is the first case to reach this point, though many more appear to be following his trajectory with failing regenerative systems. Doctors and scientists from multiple systems and colonies have been involved in Mr. Dwick’s case, pooling their resources (and that of the krogan’s considerable estate) in an attempt to find a cure for the illness, known colloquially as “the Taint.” While multiple methods have been discovered that can forestall the disease in its earlier stages, a key component appears to be missing in the treatment for those who have advanced to its later, terminal stages. Drau Lura, a close confidant of Dwick’s who has stood by the CEO throughout his precipitous decline, asked for those krogan wishing to contribute towards a cure to donate tissue and blood samples to the Dwick Institute for the Research of Taint sYndrome [sic]. “There is strong evidence in my Clan’s shaman lore that there may be some krogan out there that are immune to the effects of this disease,” Lura stated during a hastily-gathered press conference this afternoon. “According to our doctors at DIRTY, if we can find that krogan, we may be able to create a cure that reverses this disease’s effects entirely.” Mr. Dwick has been transferred to hospice as of writing. His prognosis appears to be terminal.

[cerberusdailynews]

DDS CORPSEC ANNOUNCES MARTIAL LAW

via New Aswan Dispatches Dwick Dwickcast Syndykyt's corporate security wing has instituted martial law around the city of Nos Dwicka this following news that its CEO, Jorgal "Dwick" Lenny, has slipped into a coma. "This decision does not come easily," said Interim Security Chief Lemalein "Lemmus" Lepatomay at a press conference to discuss the matter. "However, we at DDS Corporate Security remember all too well the events that happened four years ago, not to mention the chaos that ensued throughout that month. In the interest of preventing any funny business that may endanger the public, we are instituting a strict curfew - along with a number of other security procedures - until our Beloved Leader is safely interred." The news comes as a shock to many Nos Dwicka citizens, and, indeed, CorpSec officers. The shock comes largely due to the Security Chief’s stature, both within the company and in terms of his gait. Multiple sources claim that Interim Security Chief Lepetomay was in fact fired from the company months ago, and that there are multiple warrants out for his arrest in connection to alleged racketeer Julo “Cragface” Tagris. One of these arrests is allegedly for illegally trafficking in anabolic steroids without a license, an allegation that many consider an explanation for the officer’s colossal stature at the aforementioned press conference. “How the flying [censored] did that cow get back in?” replied one anonymous CorpSec source when confronted with this news. “Are we just letting the inmates run the asylum now?” Multiple crackdowns have already begun across the city, with major operations taking effect in both the city’s Babetown and West Craterville districts. Residents are currently being advised that those found outside their domiciles between the hours of 1900 and 0600 will be incarcerated. “Let’s just do this in a nice, orderly fashion, shall we?” said Mr. Lepatomay during the brief.