#dw butchers au

[mimaoartz]

Butchers AU - A Dandy's World AU based around Dandy, Cosmo, and Sprout as butchers.

Sprout & Cosmo are doing Dandy's dirty work because he threatens them and Sprout wants to keep Cosmo as safe as possible, he doesn't like taking chances.

Astro is being manipulated by Dandy, but he doesn't realize it. In Astro's eyes, Dandy can do no harm, which is why he accuses Sprout of lying when he brings up the "experiments".

Vee & Shelly are missing.

Extras Below!

[thequestfortheinkmachinecomics]

Sorry the last ask made me remember smth I'd wanted to ask since I first found this blog lol (couldn't at the time bc asks weren't being accepted so I forgot x3)

What do mickey (and/or Oswald & the others) look like in this au? And what changes are there to them in this rewrite? :0

no worries dude!

i haven’t done much changes right now but i think I’ll explain way better in the next comic strips. a change i think is kinda big is that i don’t think ill be having oswald and felix as a pair — IDK. they’ll definitely be super duper close dw, buttt idk isn’t it weird how felix continued to crush over oswald even thought he knew that he was still grieving his dead wife in the og comic?

id like oswald to really be able to develop really well. i feel like rouge rlly butchered oswald’s growth from the loss of his wife like rlly bad. like, he suddenly started acting so cocky and playful with his crew and it was just kinda..strange idk.

i think there is beauty in moving on and i’d really like to show that through oswald’s character

here’s what they look like btw! THESE ARENT THE FINAL OUTFITS just a temporary outfit for now

[untitled5071]

I'd definitely love one shot requests

Well, ask and you shall receive! Here's the answer to your earlier ask, a Reverse AU of Lisa Frankenstein where she's the creature! Hope you like it!

🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦

“Alright, I think this is everything.”

He could barely see where he was going over the stolen sewing supplies piled in his arms, but he knew he was headed in the right direction thanks to the soft hum of acknowledgement coming from inside his bedroom. Tottering his way over to the corner, he deposited all of his mom’s supplies onto his bed before selecting the thickest hot pink thread he could find and a sharpened upholstery needle and turning to face his guest. 

“What about this one?”

The corpse of the young lady stood there, hair still a little wet from her first-ever shower and completely entranced by the feathered sleeves of his mother’s flowy pink nightgown. He stood there for a moment and watched the dead girl wave her arms slowly back and forth to watch the sheer fabric of the sleeves follow in their wake, and took a moment to wonder just when his life took a turn into Mary Shelley territory. 

He had been totally scared out of his wits earlier; all he had wanted was a night alone on the couch while his brother, mom and stepdad went to a movie, able to start re-watching through his VHS collection without fear of judgment when a absolutely filthy being crashed through the window, stumbling after him and groaning as he tried and failed to flee. After finding the creature-who he quickly realized was, or at least once had been, a woman-sitting apologetically in the living room and looking at him with sad eyes, he decided that he might get further talking to her than running from her. 

And any reservations against connecting with the woman died away when he realized that she was the one whose grave he had been tending to for the past few months, the reanimated corpse of a person buried under a tombstone that only said “Unmarried”.

And so he helped her get cleaned up, letting her shower the nearly century of grime away until he could see slightly bloodshot eyes, a shy smile, frizzy hair teased and tangled within an inch of his life and with a deep and disturbing gash in her left shoulder that needed attention. 

Hence the sewing supplies. 

“I have no idea which of this stuff is…quality or whatever, but my mom has very high standards in terms of the things she buys and especially for her hobbies, I mean, you should have seen how much she spent on fake rhinestones last year, but I think this might be the best stuff to use? I don’t think neon existed in your time but I think you might like this color judging on how much you like that robe.”

The corpse looked up at his voice, locked eyes with the thread and immediately smiled, excited by the vibrant color and opening her mouth to speak, but upon remembering that decay had taken that ability, she began gesturing wildly, clapping and pointing at the thread and then to her butchered shoulder. He got the message quickly enough and cleared the rest of the sewing supplies off of his bed, sitting down by his pillow and gesturing for her to sit on his left. She complied, and he gently guided their torsos so that he was looking at her back, with her turned towards the door to allow him access. 

He unraveled much more thread than necessary and stared at the eye of the needle, completely lost. She must have noticed his hesitance, because she silently reached a hand back and made a ‘give me’ gesture. He placed the needle and thread in her freezing palm and watched over her shoulder as thin fingers-clumsy with a century of deterioration-threaded the string through the eye of the needle and tied it for him, handing it back to him with a small smile. He returned the gesture. 

“Thanks.” 

She bowed her head slightly, and lowered the shoulder of the robe and the nightgown underneath, brushing her wayward hair out of the way to expose the gash that he presumed had killed her. He didn’t want to dwell too much on it, head already spinning with the implications of such a wound, so he gently rested his hand on the robe, the threaded needle poised in the other hand. 

It was only then that he realized that he had no idea what he was doing. 

“Uh..how do I…?”

The corpse’s shoulders shook like she was giggling, and she turned her head to lock eyes with him. Slowly, with the stump of one hand and the fingers of the other, she mimed stabbing something with a needle, then pulling the thread through, then the nice, even stitching and repetition of the motion, and then finally pulling the stitches tight and tying off the work, complete with biting the thread to cut it. He nodded, taking the offered needle and thread. 

“Okay then, let’s…let’s do this.”

She nodded and turned back towards the door, letting him work in peace. It took him a few moments to prepare himself for what he was about to do, and, as gently as he could, stuck the needle in her skin. 

He flinched and expected her to do the same, but she sat perfectly still, examining the feathers on the robe a bit more. 

“Did that hurt?”

His voice was edged with concern, but when she turned her head to look at him, her eyes were gentle and calm. She shook her head minutely. 

“Do you feel…anything?”

She thought for a moment, gaze wandering away from his before she shrugged, settling back with her face to the door to signal the end of the discussion. He took a moment to absorb this new knowledge, then let out a shaky exhale and turned back to his work. 

“Okay then. Here we go. I;m sorry if this comes out…totally terrible but you have to understand I’ve never done anything like this before but I am far from a trained professional.”

The corpse hummed her assent and continued to play with her sleeves, and he could see the smallest corner of a smile playing on her gaunt lips. He tried to ignore what that sight did to his heart and got to work, slowly stitching together the corpse who had quite literally crashed into his life and correctly guessing it would not be the last time he did so.

[cywscross]

Title: Get Some Therapy, Fool (aka Life is Rough When Leona Kingscholar is More Emotionally Competent Than You) Fandom: Twisted Wonderland Character/Pairing: Leona Kingscholar/Silver, Silver & Lilia Vanrouge, Silver, Leona Kingscholar, Lilia Vanrouge Rating: E Word Count: 24,788 Summary: They’ve been together for a while now but have never told anyone.

Silver promptly throws that out the window approximately five seconds after Leona walks into the room, right in front of what seems like all seven dorms.

To be fair, it's been a pretty terrible few days.

Tags: Canon Divergence AU, Alternating POV, Introspection, Established Relationship, Dissociation, Anxiety Attacks, Separation Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Blowjobs, Handjobs, Shower Sex, Conversations

Submitted For:

@julybreakbingo

- Pre-July Break Bingo 2024 - Separation Anxiety - July Break Bingo 2024 - ♫ I've been down a lonely street tonight; And I don't know what's wrong with me ♫ | “I’ve never wanted anything so much in my life.” | “Don’t let me go.” | Love as figuring it out together | “I don’t know what I’d do without you.” | Separation Anxiety or Cornered | “You’re safe with me.” - Post-July Break Bingo 2024-2025 - Difficulty Recovering | Established Relationship | "Did you sleep on the floor?"

Hurt/Comfort Bingo on DW

- Hurt/Comfort Bingo [Round 13] - asking for help

@anyfandomfluffbingo

- Any Fandom Fluff Bingo - Only One Bed

@sweetspicybingo

- Sweet & Spicy Bingo: Hurt/Comfort Edition - hyperventilation to lullaby

@hurtcomfort-bingo

- Hurt and Comfort Bingo - Hunger/Starvation

@seasonaldelightsbingo

- Seasonal Delights Bingo: Winter Wonderland - dissociation - Seasonal Delights Bingo: Language of Flowers [Card 1] - eyes filled with tears - Seasonal Delights Bingo: Language of Flowers [Card 2] - "You're Safe, I Got You Now." - Seasonal Delights Bingo: Types of Love [Card 1] - catching up on much needed sleep | "i'm glad that i met you." - Seasonal Delights Bingo: Types of Love [Card 2] - Crying in the Other Person's Arms | If We Have Each Other - Alec Benjamin | Taking Care of One Another

@lyricalescape

- Lyrical Escape Bingo - "Let me take your hand, I'll make it right."

@thebutcherbingo

- The Butcher Bingo - Under the Weather

@fandom-free-bingo

- Fandom-Free Bingo: Valentine Edition - 'I Will Stand By You Forever' - Fandom-Free Bingo: Wild Edition [Card 1] - Showering Together | Panic Attack - Fandom-Free Bingo: WBN Edition [Card 1] - "I've Got You." | Sobbing Uncontrollably | Hidden Tears | Shared Bath - Fandom-Free Bingo: WBN Edition [Card 2] - Floor Picnic - Fandom-Free Bingo: Maritime May Edition [Card 2] - "Kneel." - Fandom-Free Bingo: Plurality Edition - Washing Their Hair

@eclipsingbingo

- Eclipsing Bingo - There Was Only One Bed

[unwillingtoreachout]

Helloooo darling I'm here to tell you about butcher!Neil 🤭 sorry it's so long omg—I completely understand it takes a while for you to respond dw ❤️ actually your don't even have to respond to it at all if you don't want, I won't be offended :)

So in this au, for whatever reason, Nathan was allowed to keep Nathaniel and train him up as a second butcher, which means that this Neil is a very different Neil to the one we get in canon. He knows his way around a knife. He is a fighter, not a runner, but neither is he the Exy prodigy he would have been if he'd gone to the Nest. His father banned him from playing Exy when it started getting in the way of his training.

He never knew Riko, but he did get know Ichirou very well. I have to say that this au is mostly based on two moments from canon. Number one:

This single throwaway line really struck me in my reread. ‘Your father was someone to me.’ Like oh my god. From most people this would be a nice, if perhaps bland, sentiment. From Ichirou Moriyama, this is a strange and unexpected vulnerability that (the way I see it) betrays something more than a professional relationship. I'm not saying that they were best buds who had sleepovers and confessed all their darkest secrets and crushes to each other but like. I think Ichirou admired Nathan at the very least, and clearly held just enough affection for him that he wanted to talk to Neil and made him more inclined to give him a chance. ‘Your father was someone to me.’ Did Nathan care for Ichirou how he never cared for his own son? Did Ichirou respect Nathan the way he never respected his own uncle? We'll never know, but I'm sure as hell going to think about it. Anyway so this got me thinking about how close Ichirou and Neil would have been if they grew up together, and one potential answer is: very. So that's where this comes from.

In this fic, their relationship is really fucked up, and I have to put a disclaimer before I start properly explaining that I don't condone any of this lmao, I'm just exploring a fictional concept. In this fic, their relationship lies somewhere between brothers, best friends, lovers, and a ‘master and his dog’ dynamic. It's not really any of those things, but it's a weird fucked up combination of elements of them. Nathaniel has been taught from a very young age that the power dynamics in this world are strict. He is better than most people, above them, and he has to know this. He carries himself with a swagger and an arrogance that comes with knowing ten ways to gut a man and the power to make it happen. But he's also hyperaware of anyone who's above him in the pecking order, and it's automatic for him to submit to them easily, never putting up a fight or speaking out of turn (okay he's still not perfected this one, this is Neil we're talking about, but he's more restrained than in canon). This means that, no matter how close he is with Ichirou, and how much Ichirou cares for him, they sre never going to be equals. Ichirou is always going to have power over him, even if that power exists solely in Nathaniel's mind—it's so drilled in, he's never going to get away from it. (Think of Jean and his submissiveness, his need for structure. It's just devastatingly ingrained in him by this point.)

It was always said that Nathaniel was going to be part of Ichirou's personal guard/squad, that's what he was trained for, and he finally took up that position when he was 14/15 and Ichirou was 18/19. For a couple years, he accompanied Ichirou everywhere, guarding him, protecting him, carrying out his dirty work. Falling slightly, obsessively, in love with him. He always knew that he would die for Ichirou without any hesitation. If Ichirou handed him a gun and told him to pull the trigger, he did it, no matter who was on the other end. He usually preferred knives, though. Ichirou accommodated this.

This is getting LONG omg sorry so I'm not gonna go too in depth on Ichirou's feelings for Nathaniel but basically he trusts and cares and worries about him, and he feels a sense of duty and responsibility for him that I think is natural in anyone who has a friend a few years younger than them, yk? But he's not a good person, and he knows that Nathaniel will do anything for him, and he isn't going to not use that to his advantage.

Now on to the actual plot lmao sorry. Here comes in the second canon moment that inspired this:

That got me thinking.........what if Neil actually was a mole?

The summer before Riko breaks Kevin's hand, when Nathaniel is 16, Ichirou grows worried about Riko, and it's partially concern for his brother, but mostly just concern for how his ways (and Tetsuji's) might affect their business. So, secretly, because he doesn't want Kengo to grow worried or angry, he decides to send Nathaniel into the Ravens, undercover, to spy on them. This starts with his year in Millport (though it might make more sense if it was a more well known highschool because this time the whole point is for him to be recruited...idk), where he gets to play Exy again for the first time in years. Here, he becomes Neil Josten. Despite himself, despite knowing that it's immature and he has more important things to worry about, that this is just a game, just a means to an end, Neil is absolutely thrilled. So fucking excited to be back, especially because this year he doesn't have anything to worry about except improving and getting recruited to the Ravens. It's basically everything he's ever wanted but couldn't have, and now he's being ordered to do it. Literally the dream.

Except, Kevin leaves the Ravens, and with him goes Neil's chances of being recruited. They'd counted on Kevin's unorthodox recruitment methods to get Neil on, knowing Riko wouldn't give a shit about a newbie unless Kevin convinced him to give him a chance. Now, they were fucked. They decided to wait out the rest of the season just in case, and were just about to give up on it all when Wymack approached Neil. This wasn't what Ichirou had planned at all, but he realised it was an opportunity he couldn't turn down. Neil wouldn't be up close and personal with Riko like he'd wanted, but this way he could at least keep an eye on Kevin and make sure he wasn't spilling all of their secrets, and it could prove to be useful in a whole host of other ways. So, Neil accepts.

I think the fic would have very similar events to the canon trilogy, but it would feature Neil being even more mysterious than canon (if that's possible lmao) and keeping Ichirou informed of all the goings on, and Andrew would definitely be even more suspicious of him and not let him off as easily, so they'd probably have a much stronger rivalry, but Neil still manages to work his way into the Foxes's hearts somehow. He's very resourceful.

Not entirely certain how I'd end this but I like the idea of Ichirou realising that Neil is much happier like this and (once he becomes the head of the empire) releasing him from his duties, instead allowing him to just spend his life playing Exy.

Jesus Christ, sorry that this is so long, I was certain it was going to be a short explanation but then I just kept going 😭😭😭 I hope it makes sense, at least!!

First of all, sorry if you sent this some time ago and I'm just now replying 😭

Second of all tho, AHHHHHH!!!! THIS IS SO EXCITING, I LOVE THIS IDEA!!!!

Okay so, the whole "your father was someone to me" I did not remember at all but that's really interesting because that could imply so many things, and it makes me wonder if Neil feels like he has to live up to Nathan's standard in a way in order to gain Ichirou's approval (idk this setting is kind of reminding me of how Riko is always trying to get Kengo and Ichirou's attention, so maybe Neil is willing to do anything for Ichirou because he thinks that's how Ichirou will pay attention to him??) maybe I'm reaching but even if that's not the case I'm still really intrigued by their dynamic

I love the idea of Neil actually being a mole and the only person who truly suspects anything is Andrew (and maybe Aaron a little bit), and also Neil trying to act like a normal person when he hasn't been normal a single second of his life. It makes me wonder if he'd fall for the stuff that Neil does in canon, like does he figure out the twins swapped places quicker? Does he suspect Andrew is trying to drug him and he goes along with it to not raise more suspicions?

Alsoooo, Neil getting back into exy and loving it??? I'm gonna cry because I always loved how it's pretty clear that Neil could have always ended up like his father or like Riko but instead he chose to obsessively play a sport with his found family instead of violence. And I feel like, in this case, it's similar in the sense that when he is given the choice he would still choose exy and still choose the foxes

[kpchrs]

talking about time travel au for coryo post tbosas to the day of the reaping?

oh his first thought is anger.

his luxury life he has worked so hard has been ripped away. he has swore he won't let cabbage soup slip past his lips again and here he is in front of the pan full of its liquid. grandma'am butchering gem of panem assaults his ears and it's just too much he threw the spoon to the floor.

coryo gripped the sink with his two hands and slumped over it.

calm down. its, maybe, not the end of the world. think. what's next? oh, tigris is arriving. last time he'd been worried but now at least he knows he doesn't have to. so that only leaves...

lucy gray.

but now he's prepared. now he knows what she's really like (clever, devious, deadly girl). and he won't be her victim again. in fact, he won't be anyone's victim ever again.

he'll make sure of it.

after all the point of redoing life is to undo mistakes.

[aka dw coryo is clowning himself because lucy gray realises how fake he is with her and he can't really get her trust. lucy gray would see how confident he is with winning but he doesn't really care about her (or does he?) she will see coryo's manipulation from a mile away and call him out. victim what victim u BITCH.

how about sejanus? coryo won't get his riches if he's not dead. well, that's another topic for another time. (aka kris doesn't really wanna think about it it's horrifying fuck gbye.)]

[reiimicxii]

Dream SMP High School Drama AU POG?!?!?!

Background idea:

Dream Team are like,,,, the student council for a high school in Utah (yes, Utah), and basically, Tommy comes and causes havoc, Dream steals his discs, and suspends him for causing a bit too much trouble, and there's a full blown school war when Tommy gets outta fuckin' suspension (school wars = multiple food fights + fucking tryna kill eachother at dances + rap battle shit)

Tommy then wins the war via winning a game of uno and trading his tamagotchi for the discs with Dream, Wilbur wanted to monopolize selling literal water bottles here (Drug empire shit), L'manberg arc is basically trying to overthrow the dteam student council, the final control room was Eret starting off a food fight, the Tommy and Dream duel was them fighting with Pokémon cards.

After Tommy lost and gave the discs to dteam, they decided to make L'manberg the new student council, which made Wilbur president and everything was well and dandy until election arc comes.

Election arc was just fuckin everyone running for student council president, Quackity and Schlatt still did the merging votes thing and they won, but Schlatt was overall a worse president than Wilbur.

Festival happened, but Tubbo was basically just beaten up by Techno (dw the nurse did everything, also Techno didn't get suspended or some shit).

Pogtopia was basically Pogtopia, Wilbur goes insane over just a couple school drama (Tommy tries to tell him it was just petty school drama), but yeah, a final school war goes on and Techno summoning wither skulls was just them fighting shit in Minecraft.

Wilbur prepared ACTUAL FUCKING explosives (yes, he is basically J.D here), Phil appears, he pushes the button anyways, and the entire cafeteria was just imploded (dw no one was hurt).

Wilbur actually voluntarily gets suspended from school grounds indefinetly, this spreads all over the news and gets named the "POGTOPIA INCIDENT OF 2020"

Wilbur, George, Techno, Phil, Callahan, and Alyssa all graduate school.

Season 2 timeeeeee

Afterwards, everyone then makes Tubbo school president, making New L'manberg, Ghostbur = Wilbur sending letters from college, since he graduated in season 1.

The entire exile incident was Tommy tearing George's notebook + stealing some of George's stuff + committing a bit of arson with Ranboo (he just transferred here) and Tubbo suspends Tommy indefinetly and Dream is assigned to keep an eye on him.

While Tommy was in exile, Technoblade's execution was the butcher army beating him up, Techno scars Quackity, yadayadayada. (ALSO ALL THIS HAPPENED IN TECHNO'S APARTMENT)

In "exile", Dream hits Tommy with the manipulation a bit TOO hard and Tommy attempts suuui... ummmmm unaliving himself... yeah, unaliving himself, turns out, he survives the entire fucking thing.

Doomsday happened, and ACTUAL explosives were rigged again (yes, everyone is still under 21, so it's fuckin' illegal), and both the cafeteria and school hall were blown up, no one was hurt still, and everyone involved with Doomsday were college students except for Dream, so, no one got suspended or got detention.

The disc confrontation was basically everyone in the school hall tryna suspend Dream from school grounds so uhhhh, that worked I guess...

Dream, Sapnap, Bad, Skeppy, Ant, Punz, H, Quackity, and Foolish all graduate school.

Lmk if you'd like to see more of this au !!

[gaoau]

theres no calories in birthday cakes

to forget minor inconveniences for a day. to make up new rules. to have kuroo as a reminder that life can be nice. (and, most importantly, to not listen to chopper's character song again.)

pairing — kuroo tetsurou x reader word count — 1.2k note — a few disclaimers. 1) roommates au cause for some reason this and kuroo together seems to be a fan favorite of the hq fandom. might as well join. 2) inaccurate phone devices for the year of 2014 or smth dw bout it artistic liberties. 3) kuroos an op fan cause i said so (i havent seen a single ep of op) anyway happy birthday chiguru 

you can already hear the music kuroo is blasting before even opening the door. it's one of those western, alternative artists whose name you cannot pronounce for the life of you. but youve heard their songs so much by sheer osmosis that you can actually follow along with semi-butchered lyrics.

still, you struggle to recognize a single word thats being sung as you also struggle to insert your key into the keyhole. normally your benevolent roommate would hear you fighting for your life by now and come open the door for you, but it seems hes too busy with his music. you dont blame him. 

when you finally do manage to unlock the door, you can also hear why kuroo is blasting music through the cheap, oversaturated bluetooth speaker. ceramic and glass and metal all knock softly against one another in a chaotic symphony (some may just call it jazz). hes doing the dishes, singing along while this song fades into the next one.

the very moment you step a single foot into your shared dorm, the song changes. which usually you really wouldnt mind, but this fucking song. you hear salsa and merengue and bachata and fandango and every single other genre you can think of in the same song. it starts with choppers high-pitched, cheery voice, and you instanly let your bag drop to the floor. you only take a moment to kick off your shoes, but once theyre off, you stomp your way over to kuroo in the kitchen.

you groan, "i swear to god, kuroo, if i have to listen to this song one more time…" you trail off, debating between i'll kill myself or i'll murder you in cold blood. you say neither, snatching his phone from the counter and unlocking it with your fingerprint.

kuroo laughs as he cranes his neck to look at you. he scrubs at a particularly stubborn pot, watching you queue up a different song. "but boku ha doctor, tony tony chopper, [surname]."

immediately, you swipe your finger on the screen and change the song. kuroo recognizes it as your favorite pop song in a matter of seconds, though it's in korean despite you not speaking korean at all. "boku doesnt suit you," you say, looking him dead in the eye.

"alright, then." he shrugs. "atashi ha—"

"thats even worse."

he bursts out laughing, and it's not long before your own cackles spill from your tongue. you lock his phone and return to its place on the counter. his hyena imitation and your own chuckles blend in harmony with the upbeat korean verses. then they fizzle off so you can appreciate the music. you cringe internally, because the cheap speakers arent doing your boys any justice. and you hear kuroo hum along, mumbling a few words under his breath even when his korean isnt any better than yours.

but it doesnt really matter, does it? not when it's a song he never would have listened to if he hadnt met you. a song he never would have cared for, but one he knows forwards and backwards by now. and it matters even less when you watch him squeeze more of the watered-down dish soap onto the sponge, soaking anything it can in hopes for bubbles because you refuse to buy a new one until the residues in this bottle vanish completely. plus youre not sure youll ever find this unscented dish soap again, seeing as it wasnt even you the one to find it—knowing kuroo took the longest train ride to chiba to find anything that wouldnt give you a headache.

whatever blunders you both make dont matter at all. not when you have one another to bounce off of and to pick yourselves up.

as your choice of song fades into another one in kuroos playlist, realization dawns on you. "wait, you arent on dish duty." you take a step closer, looming by his side while he rinses the last pots and moves onto the cups. "it's my turn."

he shoots you a toothy grin. "i know, i know, but since im such a nice person, i thought id spare you the ugh my skin is so dry complaints for today."

you narrow your eyes at him.

he stares back.

"did you break something?"

kuroo exaggerates a gasp. "of course not!" if his hands werent busy, hed slap one over his heart. "im always this benevolent. i know your skin gets fucked up so i'll save you the trouble. just today though, youre back on dishes next time."

"why today?"

he finishes washing the last three cups and carefully sets them to dry. with a dramatized sigh, he slaps the tap shut, shaking his hands dry. "check the fridge. i cant believe you forgot." and he flicks water on your face.

wiping it off with your sleeve, you make your way to open the fridge. it's, unsurprisingly, mostly empty, save for the bright pink box at the bottom, boasting the logo from that one gluten free bakery that is actually good. you pull the lid up to peer at its contents: a brownie slab with chocolate topping and the letters BIRTH in english.

"what?" you nearly slam the door shut. when you turn back to kuroo, hes standing with his hands on his hips, looking smug and awaiting praise. "dude, my english is shit."

he groans, "誕生," to give you a hint.

"birth?"

"誕生日おめでとう? ring any bells?"

"oh!" you take a moment to think about todays date. you barely remember if you saw the date at all throughout the day. you must have, but you cannot recall it for the life of you. but with this cake, you know exactly what day it is. "it's my birthday today, isnt it?" silence lasts for a second while kuroo hums. "well, that explains the missed called from my mother."

"oh, shes gonna kill you."

"not if this kills me first," you chuckle, patting the fridge door.

kuroo starts listing off, "it's gluten free, on the crispier side, no filling but still moist, and it's dark chocolate, sixty percent." all the way you like it most to make sure it doesnt kill you.

"i meant… calories."

"theres no calories in birthday cakes; thats, like, newtons fourth law."

you take a moment to process his words. then you laugh, "see, thats what a capitalist would say."

"hey, whatever sells. if you dont want it, though…" menacingly, he stalks over to the fridge, trailing off in an unfinished threat.

you shoot your arms in front of you to guard your birthday cake. "no, no. i'll take it."

he snorts out a chuckle. "happy birth, [surname]." with a grin, he starts reaching his dominant hand towards your hair.

"thanks," you manage, scrambling to grab his wrist with both hands to hold him away. "stop, your hands are wet." he pushes down, his open palm right above your head. you have to put your all to keep him from messing with your hair.

"no, theyre not."

"i dont care, theyre humid. stop it."

"no, theyre not."

"kuroo, stop."

"no, theyre not."

"sto—stop! no!"

busy with his dominant hand, you fail to notice his other hand darting out. he tangles his fingers in your hair and musses it up. you burst into giggles, eyes squeezing shut as you let him finish with his affectionate display. it doesnt really matter when kuroo is your favorite person to spend your birthday with.

—あごす (agosu) • 2022

[realhutoew]

Miss Power probably legendary spammer lol, The idea was in my mind for a while. I'm not exactly greatest sharing the idea outside of- my personal main community- thing.

Rythme and Reason probably Ice/Psychic type gym leader, Dr. Two-Brains most likely top executive of certain villain team. Chuck probably likes the soft one but he is very good at battling! Whammer probably full of offensive pokemon team, Mr. Big might as well be sleep effect user, meanwhile Leslie using Fighting type pokemons (as I know she's likes black belt karate or smth). Butcher might have team of Defensive pokemons, Nocan probably be Trick room user consider how Trick room give effect of reverse the turn (if your pokemon is faster than opponent then your pokemon will be last one to use the move). Steven McClean is Water/Ice type user, Granny May is Ghost/Dark type user. Tobey is most likely Rival(he have pokemon that evolve to have mix Steel type) same goes with Victoria and Eileen. Victoria potentially Psychic type user, Eileen is Dark type user(Dark type pokemon have move likes stealing other foe's pokemon held item or just knock em out of foe's pokemon). Captain Tangent is Ghost and Steel type user, potential gym leader. Captain Huggy Face(Bob) is Professor Oak's of this AU, oh and he still a monkey dw. Botsford still there, Becky's main character. But TJ might as well potentially be her rival, though sometime TJ might help Becks with certain stuff since they're still a sibling. TJ is mixed type user(he can use any type), Johnson also there and well, I wouldn't say he is Becky's rival but more likes TJ's friend that adventure with him. About Violet and Scoop, They're Becky's friend most the time they went separated way and may meet up again sometime later. Sometime Becky have to team up with her friend double battle with TJ and Johnson, and certain situation. Violet is Grass/Fairy type user and she have Smeargle as her starter. Scoop is Dark/Normal type user, He have Zorua as his starter. Kid Math is also there, he is likes Wally in pokemon gen 3 game but Rex know basic pokemon battle stuff and first pokemon he ever caught was Cosmog, how lucky.

Talk about Villain team, the grunts will be villain's fans in the show and most of them was, well not the best at battling, mostly just backup.

All the pokemons still the same as in main series, no addition of fan-made pokemon.

Though region name will be different, since this Wordgirl AU we're talking about.

Well, that was a long one. surely a lot of knowledge here since I played a lot of pokemon games recently, especially for hard GBA ROM hack games likes Emerald Kaizo or Radical Red. Hope this isn't way too overwhelming.

Thinking of doing a Wordgirl pokemon au. For their starters Scoops has a poochyena Violet has a litten Becky has a chimcar any add-ons?

If I'm being honest I don't know a lot of Pokemon-

Maybe..

-Maria (energy monster) could have pikachu

-Tobey could have a kadabra

Other then that I'm not really in the Pokemon fandom. I like your idea though!

[sco07ut]

bbc ghosts,,,, i love u,,,,,

ok ok so my mum n i finally finished watching ghosts and i’m completely insane so erm. rvb ghosts au

carolina is alison (funny) and wash is mike (i don’t ship carwash, in this au im imagining they’re sibs just living together bc the economy’s fucked yk how it is) they inherited the house from their estranged dad, dr leonard church and after a near death experience carolina gains the ability to see ghosts

delano house (ok . if i was going by Actual logic with the character assignments it would Technically be called gene house but i don’t think he deserves that much credit, and i’ll explain this when i get onto simmons little introductory section) is inhabited by eight main ghosts (and a plague pit of zealots in the basement but dw about those guys) from a bunch of different time periods and they all sort of hatelove each other bc none of them can leave (unless they, by some miracle, ascend) so they kind of jst endure each others’ presence

anyway, without further ado: caboose is kitty (georgian noble), simmons is thomas thorne (victorian poet), tucker is julian fawcett (modern day mp), donut is stephanie button (edwardian noble), doc is patrick butcher (1980’s scout leader), sarge as the captain (ww2 captain), grif as mary (stuart era witch trial victim), lopez as humphrey bone (tudor noble) and locus as robin (caveman)

(more in-depth character stuff under the cut !!)

caboose:

caboose as kitty! i jst think their characters align really nicely, they’re both loveable idiots who follow their best friends around. i def think carolina reminds him of church (who is annie in this au who basically ascends a few hundred years before carolina is even born) so he follows her around like a miserable little duckling. the ‘sister’ that bullied him is fuckign miller from rat’s nest

simmons:

this pathetic worm is thomas !! he isn’t in love with carolina the way thomas is in love with allison, instead he sees carolina kinda like a big sister figure and always asks her for dating advice. his backstory is where things r interesting tho i think. in the show, thomas is in love with a woman called isabel, however her father is against the two of them being together, so when he attends an event where isabel is also present he wants to converse with her to make sure the two of them are still secretly an item but can’t find the opportunity to do so. his cousin, francis button, offers to deliver a letter to isabel with his feelings but backstabs him by faking the letters (saying they basically don’t love each other anymore) then tricks thomas into engaging in a duel that gets him killed (he then also denies thomas’ last request to see isabel by telling her he’s already dead). yikes. anyway. in this au, gene is francis button, and instead of simmons being in love with some woman he hears some guys slandering his own dad’s name (hargrove) and engages in a duel with them over it. the reality behind the situation, however, is that gene essentially orchestrated his death. the people he ‘heard’ talking shit abt his dad weren’t actually, gene jsut told him they were. when he then begins the duel, gene tells him it’s 20 paces when in actuality it’s only 10. once simmons is shot and requests to see his father one last time gene pretends to go do that but actually tells hargrove that simmons was dead when he got to him

okay !! so i mentioned that delano house should technically be called gene house if we were to go by the show’s lore. once francis tells isabel that thomas is dead, he then essentially woos her and marries her, moving into her home and which then becomes button house. so in the au ig it would technically be called gene house however i don’t rock w that because it would then later mean donut is called franklin delano gene which is wrong on so many levels. so instead, gene just takes the existing name of the house, delano. yk i’ve just typed all this up and realised that i’m probably the sole person in the world who actually cares about it. darn

finally moving on, tucker!

self explanatory, julian dies in the middle of shagging someone and is now doomed to spend the rest of eternity wandering round with no pants on. it’s so ridiculously in character. plus ig the whole ‘being able to interact wit the real world’ thing ties into tucker’s whole main character schtick

donut:

the lady of the house ! in life his mother, chrovos, was very insistent about marrying him off to a richer family to try make up for all their debt but all he wanted to do was become a famous fashion designer. maybe if his mother had let him follow that passion he might’ve made a brand famous enough to claw them out of debt but instead he got an early death from an adulterous husband (genkins)

doc:

pat my absolute beloved. he had taken out a group of kids (the ai) to the house’s grounds for a day of archery, however while going through the safety protocols o’malley accidentally let an arrow loose that got him straight through the neck. he then managed to traumatise the entire group by dying slowly in front of them ❤️

sarge:

again another character that’s just a perfect match, sarge doesn’t have a name, the captain doesn’t have a name, they’re both obsessed with a war that’s long gone, they’re both fruity asf. not even joking, the lieutenant that the captain has a crush on is one butch flowers in this au, sarge misses him but has started to find a new object of affection in wash (despite the fact that wash cannot see, hear or interact with him at all)

grif:

burned at the stake for being a witch ! in reality he was just a man passing through the town and everyone Thought was some sort of woman who was harbouring satan in her throat or something. his long hair and curvy form Tricked them all n he paid the price. his death kinda did a number on him though, and it took a while for him to come back out of his shell (essentially after church dragged him out kicking and screaming)

lopez:

the noble that managed to survive a coup only to immediately accidentally behead himself with a pair of decorative wall swords. unlike the show, lopez is the one that doesn’t speak english while his arranged wife shiela Does and planned the murder of the monarchy under his nose. he still loved her tho.

and last but not least, locus:

i definitely hc that his name was actually locust/lotus but the first few ghosts that met him kept getting it wrong until he eventually just settled on locus (in the same way robin is actually called ‘rogh’). he’s been there the longest, definitely took a Long time to warm up to other humans after being betrayed before his death (felix and sharkface, or lick and face, pushed him into what they Thought was a bear den so that they could escape but ultimately it lead to their deaths while locus managed to get away, only to be struck by lightning immediately afterwards)

i think that covers everyone who has a canon death thus far ! sorry for going a little insane over simmons

[bluebellhairpin]

Kenny Ackerman - SFW Alphabet

Kenny Ackerman X Reader

A/N: Because apparently some of you want this? To the anon that requested it, I hope you see this, and that it reached your expectations :) - Nemo

Warnings: Dirty Old Man Kenny. Language. Some answers may be not so sfw (still fine tho, dw lol). 

Masterlist | Ko-fi 

A - AFFECTION (how affectionate are they? how do they show affection?);

He’s the kind of guy who’d pull at your ponytail, stick gum in your hair, and steal your books if you were in high school together - all ‘cause he liked you.

Sometimes he’s softer. If there’s no one else around - especially no one either of you know. Might wrap a arm around your shoulder. Might twirl your hair instead of pull it. Might walk you from the car to your front door to make sure you get there okay. 

He’ll never be obvious about it though. Get it? 

B - BEST FRIEND (what would they be like as a best friend? how would the friendship start?);

You probably tried to kill him, or vice versa. Or you’re on his squad. If we’re talking about a modern au, then you’d have met at work, at a bar, or are a childhood friend that he couldn’t get rid of. 

I’m not going to lie to you, if you’re a crybaby then this *friendship* wouldn’t work out. He’s gonna tease you relentlessly and expect you to hit that banter ball right back at him. If you don’t, if you actually end up in tears, he’s gonna try and ditch you. Sounds harsh, but that’s him. 

He can actually be pretty fun though. He’s up for all kinds of trouble, and he’d defiantly in for making others take the blame. If you’re driving home drunk with some friends one night and get pulled over by the cops he’s gonna be pulling you from the front seat and shoving a different - even less sober - person in the seat instead.

He says it’s cause it’ll be funny, but he kind of doesn’t want you getting in trouble an heading to jail. Whose he gonna annoy if you did? 

C - CUDDLES (do they like to cuddle? how would they cuddle?); 

Kenny doesn’t ‘cuddle’. He’s got shit to do, he’s too old, and he’s not that kind of guy anyways. 

But if you happened to underestimate how scary this scary movie is, he’s gonna offer your his side to hide in. Or if you fall asleep on him, he might stay for a bit before moving away and putting a blanket over you. 

D - DOMESTIC (do they want to settle down? how are they at cooking and cleaning?);

He would never say out loud that he wants to marry someone. Moving in  with a person, maybe. It would help split money costs. He might marry someone, for there are tax benefits to that, and if he ended up permanently living with someone in such a way, he’d use that as his reason why.

Not that he loved them that much. 

He’s lived on his own for a long time, as far as keeping a house clean, he’s got the basics down. Probably doesn’t think he has the time (read: can be bothered) to do any deep cleaning. Not on Levi’s level. He can also cook faily well. Just don’t ask him to try anything brand new or complex and expect perfection first go. He’s gonna butcher it, don’t doubt that. 

E - ENDING (if they had to break up with their s/o, how would they do it?);

He’d tell them straight up. No beating around the bush. No sugar-coating. Just - “I’m breaking up with you.”

And if asked why, he’s adding a - “It’s not me, it’s you.” - just to make sure that his now Ex will dislike him enough to not bother him anymore. 

F - FIANCÉ(E) (how do they feel about commitment? how quick would they want to get married?); 

He’s not great with commitment. Or responsibilities outside of his own body. He may not get married to someone at all - possibly ending it beforehand or thinking that things are fine the way they are. content with the present, and not wanting the hassle of a wedding. 

If his s/o wanted to, and he really did like them - and that would be a lot - he’d agree. But he wouldn’t actively be organizing things, more than happy to sit back and have his s/o make their own dream wedding without consulting him. 

G - GENTLE (how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?); 

‘Gentle’ and ‘Kenny’ aren’t two words that would be in the same sentence very often. ‘Harsh’, however, that would. 

He’s very perceptive, both mentally and emotionally a very intelligent man, but that doesn’t mean he’s gonna be going out of his way to baby someone because their feelings are tender. 

Tough love, that’s how he works. How he thinks anyway. The fact his grip on your arm is *gentle* isn’t something you should bring to his attention.

H - HUGS (do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?);

He wouldn’t say he likes them, but he gets a warm fuzzy feeling inside when he does and he knows it’s because he likes it, but he convinces himself - mentally - that he might’ve been sick. 

He doesn’t give them often, receives them even less. But his hugs aren’t awful. He’s a tall guy, slightly built, but not so much that he’s a hunk. Hugs from him aren’t soft and big, but they’re tight, and firm. You know you’ve gotten one. 

I - I LOVE YOU (how fast do they say the l-word?);

He might never say “I love you”. 

You could’ve known him since you were kids, and been in a relationship with him for year on end, he could be on his deathbed and you’d only of herd him say it like, five times. 

J IS FOR JEALOUSY (how jealous do they get? what do they do when they’re jealous?); 

It’s not so much jealousy as it is possessiveness. But it isn’t often. 

Maybe you’re at a bar with him during a night out, he leaves for a bit for some reason, another guy comes up to you and starts acting all flirty. His first thought is “About right, they’re a sexy thing, of course they’d get hit on by guys at bars” which would then be followed by “Wait that’s my sexy thing.” 

And well, one creepy smile from Old Man Kenny and you’re new company is soon turning tail and leaving. 

K IS FOR KISSES (what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss you? where do they like to be kissed?);

He kisses a lot. Out of all forms of PDA, kisses are most common. Near your lips, and over your forehead and cheeks are often where they’re laid. 

However he doesn’t quite like anything else like how grabbing you, pulling you flush to his front, and kissing you senseless so your lips are swelled and lungs burning, that makes him feel pretty good. Cocky even. 

Teasing kisses are often dished out via him, and he expects them to be recuperated. Lay a few feather-light kisses, maybe a suck or two, along his neck, and you’d be able to ask him about anything and he’d agree. 

L IS FOR LITTLE ONES (how are they around children?);

I don’t want to say he hates kids, but he hates kids. He’d never willingly have any of his own - as alluring as some aspects of it might be - but I stand by his lack of commitment in this area too. 

He says he’d be a horrible father, unprepared, and he’ll want to run. Chances of him running, will be high, unless you’re both already in a very committed relationship. 

He’s got like two parallels lines going - he’ll deny responsibilities and commitments, but those he already has extremely strong relationships with are people he’s extremely loyal to. (ie. Uri Reiss, even Kuchel via how he took in Levi for a while - something I think he only did to begin with because of his sister.) 

Still wouldn’t like them. Would treat them roughly. Probably laughs when one cries. Would feed them sugar and energy drinks then pass them back to their parents. 

M IS FOR MORNING (how are mornings spent with them?);

You know, I can actually see this turning out rather nicely. At least in my mind. 

If he wakes up before you, he’s waking you up in some of the most absurd and obnoxious ways possible. if you’d had a rough night beforehand, he may reconsider it - rarely follows through. If you wake up before him, he’ll be nicer. He prefers waking up to you already awake, that way you won’t catch him staring at you while you sleep. 

He probably wouldn’t do breakfast - not unless he knew you wouldn’t do it yourself, but coffee is always his thing. He has all your food and drink orders memorized, so your morning wake up beverage is always provided by him. 

N IS FOR NIGHT (how are nights spent with them?); 

Kenny is a night owl and he will be sitting in front of the tv at 2am watching some stupid movie the channel played after the last movie the channel played. 

Pull him away, and he will be going to bed, however he gets talkative at night too. You’ll get pillow talk and not even had to of done anything. He’d gonna be telling you about some stupid thing he saw his nephews friends did that day or badly retell a viral video he saw. 

Fucking stupid. 

O - OPEN (when would they start revealing things about themselves? do they say everything all at once or wait a while to reveal things slowly?);

Slowly tells you things. But not in a cautionary way - he weaves them into conversations very casually. Like they’re not things you should notice, or remember, or take to heart. Like they’re obvious but unimportant to life. 

If you’re perceptive, you’ll learn a lot about him very quickly, but if you’re like me and have a brain than runs slower than the internet on my pc when I’m playing Minecraft, you’ll be slowly fed such things. 

P - PATIENCE (how easily angered are they?);

He is a very patient man, but his temper is held back by a very thin wire. 

He can wait a very long time for things, he will and he has before, but if he’s spent a while waiting, and someone does something that angers him, he’s gonna wanna expel that energy. He’s gonna wanna hurt someone, or break something. 

Q - QUIZZES (how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing? or do they kind of forget everything?); 

Kenny doesn’t remember everything, only the things he thinks are important. Luckily that does involve important dates. 

He remembers things that are practical. Food orders. Important dates. Maybe a few of your favorite things. But a skincare brand you prefer over another? A café you like more than another? there are hundreds or skincare brands, and hundreds of cafes - to him they’re all the same and a preference doesn’t matter when they serve the same exact purpose. 

Not unless one is cheaper than the other. Mention that, and he will have a better chance of picking the one you like instead of the one you don’t.. 

R - REMEMBER (what is their favorite moment in your relationship?); 

I’m going a definitive modern au for this one, because like; 

His car of choice is a pitch black Camaro GT from 1969, and once he took you out on a mini road trip of sorts and late the first afternoon he pulled away off the road, moved his seat back, and got you to sit on his lap in the drivers seat so he could teach you how to drive his Camaro. 

He uhh, liked have you close. 

S - SECURITY (how (over)protective are they? how would they protect you? how would they like to be protected?);

Kenny doesn’t need to be protected. Never has - not as far as defending his honor or fighting others goes. But as much as he gives with how possessive he feels, he expects to receive in full measure. 

So even though he doesn’t need it, he likes to have an s/o that would wedge themselves not-so-casually between himself and someone who was hitting on him. A effort to protect him from being whisked away from you, one might say. 

T - TRY (how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?); 

Zero effort, and yet surprisingly thoughtful anyway? Well that’s what he’s like it to come across as, anyway. 

Dates and gifts aren’t often occurrences, they mostly happen on anniversaries or other special dates. But those ones are often when his ‘picking up on smaller things’ shows the most. 

Like the one time of the year he remembers you prefer things from The Body Shop rather than a regular supermarket brand. 

U - UGLY (what would be some bad habits of theirs?);

Drinks and smokes - sorry to those who don’t like the smell of cigarettes, but if you want him around you’re gonna have to get used to them. He sometimes says he’ll quit smoking, or reduce how much he drinks, but doesn’t. 

Also probably speeds a lot when driving - not sure if that’s a bad habit or not, but it is a dangerous one. 

V - VANITY (how concerned are they with their looks?);

Not very concerned at all. He’d walk around looking like some scruffy-looking nerf-herder if he could. But he can’t. Wanna know why?

He needs to make impressions. And that impression is that he’s better than everyone else. So even if he doesn’t cut his hair or shave off that ugly scruff of a beard, his clothes are immaculate, and he smells better than sin. 

W - WHOLE (would they feel incomplete without you?); 

I’ve said this a lot, but this might be the last one - he says he doesn’t need you to feel whole, but he really does. 

Over the course of many years, people grow on you, and Kenny isn’t immune to having this happen. You’re like a scar from a wound that didn’t heal properly; at first he thought there’d be nothing left of it, but now there’s a little reminder of what happened, and it that scar went away he’d forever wonder what happened to make it go. 

Even if he’d never say it, he’d miss you if you ever left him. 

X - XTRA ((a) random headcanon(s) for them); 

Wouldn’t be your first choice as someone to keep your drink safe at a party while you go make use of the facilities, but he’s actually perfect for it. 

He’d never put anything in it himself - would be almost too happy to kick the ass of anyone who did - and he looks too unapproachable for anyone to actually go and try and take it away from him. 

Y - YUCK (what are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?); 

There’s probably only one thing that ticks him off enough to be a solid No. 

Like previously mentioned, people who cry too much. People who can’t handle his attitude and teasing. People who take things to heart too quickly and too easily. 

Having a cause and passion is fine, but when you can’t draw the line between a joke and what real, and when to let things go - he dislikes that enough to want to kick them to the curb soonest chance he gets. 

Z - ZZZ (what are some sleep habits of theirs?); 

Sleeps usually between 2 to 9 in the morning. That’s seven hours of him in a sleep so deep that he had to be woken up with an airhorn if there’s a fire in the house. 

Also breathes really heavily. Almost snoring, but not. Stops breathing sometimes - maybe he’s finally died? - oh nope, there we go back to breathing again. 

[tractorbeamofwoe]

we need a James Bond movie with Bondy as bond. Never watched a James Bond movie but like a more Quentin Tarantino vibe to it

Oh anon you’ve got me. You had me at bondy. Then you had me at Bond (I haven’t watched any either dw 💀) . But Tarantino really sealed the deal you know me so well hahaha

Idk if I’d ever maybe write like bondy/bond au thing cause I feel like I‘d absolutely butcher it, but who knows 😅

[autistic-damian-wayne]

Dutch Tim AU???? 👀

Might I get to know more? 👉👈

(Als always, batc.est shippers dni <3 i hate yall)

OK SO

Honestly I have completely forgotten how I got here, but I'm just gonna assume it's bc I love Tim and am Dutch so I just got the galaxy brain idea to combine them. I actually made this meme a while ago fagshfkghk

So yes this au was just born of me wanting to put an aspect of myself onto one of my favourite characters (looks at my glasses Jason fic)

Yes the Tim in this is trans and autistic like my usual stuff

Basically Tim's mom is Dutch and he grows up in the Netherlands for most of his childhood and moves to the US with his dad after she dies at... around 12 or 13 probably.

The Bats still exists btw, though I thiiiink this is a Jason lives and a "Lotsa Bad Stuff Gets Yoten" au so there's that. I haven't hashed out the details of how Tim joins the family he just Does dw abt it

The important stuff is of course the shenanigans

Oh before I get into that, I gave Tim a Dutch last name!! De Vogel, which means the bird because I think I'm funny. So now he's Tim Drake de Vogel-Wayne aka Tim Bird Bird

This got really long so I put it under a read more yw to all followers who don't care about this au you already have to see enough of my bullshit

Poor Timmy's last name is always butchered 😔

Except Dick, because Dick speaks a little Dutch ("Dick you are my new favourite brother" "i only pronounced the g right" "exactly")

We Dutch are passionate about our G

Damian can also pronounce it right. Tim nearly cries

Tim: Dick and Damian are the only valid fucking people in this family

Duke: but-

Tim: come back when you can pronounce verschrikkelijk

(Translation: horrible, though it's more about the g sound rather than the meaning) (ch makes a g sound in Dutch. Don't ask)

SPEAKING OF PRONUNCIATION

Tim rages when people dare pronounce Van Gogh wrong

He looks like this:

Jason: so this burglar seems to be obsessed with van go

Tim: van gogh

Jason: what?

Tim: it's pronounced van gogh you fuck

Jason: how are you making that sound with your throat

Tim fucks with his siblings using Dutch

Tim: wat zijn jullie aan het lullen

His sibs: what

Tim: ah. Wrong language. I said what are you talking about?

(Translation: technically it says "what are you dicking". Lullen is talking bullshit)

Jason being an annoying shit:

Tim: krijg de pest

Jason: what

Tim: I said shut up

(Translation: get the plague)

Here he was pretending he mixed up his languages but that actually happens a lot (trust me i would know)

Tim, walking into the kitchen: goedemorgen, nog iets interessants gebeurd terwijl ik sliep? Heeft Damian een nieuwe hond ofzo, ik kwam een chihuahua tegen die we volgens mij eerder niet hadden

Bruce:

Tim: nou je hoeft me niet te negeren hoor

Bruce: Tim...

Tim:

Tim: FUCK WRONG LANGUAGE

(Translation: Good morning, anything interesting happen while i was asleep? Does Damian have a new dog or something, I came across a chihuahua I'm pretty sure we didnt have before

(Well you don't gotta ignore me)

When English Hard, Tim and Dick will sit together and talk in a mix of languages

Tim speaks Dutch, English, German, French and Latin bc I speak those languages (ok not fluent in the last 3 and especially not German but Dutch and German is close enough that we can kind of understand each other)

I don't have any specifc language headcanons for Dick, but he knows the basics of a lot of languages including Dutch so he and Tim can communicate a-ok when not using English

Bruce: hey tim-

Tim: ich spreche pas anglais vandaag

(Translation: I don't speak English today, in a horrid combination of German, French, and Dutch)

Dick, sticking his head in Tims room: hey tim bruce said- what are you doing?

Tim, hanging from the curtains and watching a YouTube video upside down: studying

Dick: with a spanish video? For Latin?

Tim: yeah?

Dick: you dont even speak Spanish

This is a self callout. I have done this exact thing (minus the curtains)

Tim usually swears in English because a lot of Dutch swears are English

Though when he's really mad he says godverdomme (god damn me, aka the radder version of god damn it)

Yes I do that <3

Jason: the Netherlands?

Tim: Holland.

Jason: oh, like Amsterdam?

Tim: I'm disowning you as my brother.

Ok I'm getting real tired now but I have more!! Ask me about ice skating or bicycles or HEMA!! I love talking about my aus/fics

[kelkat9]

For the meme: I think of your AU’s like The Blessing and the Santa Baby series.

The Blessing came out after I read a prompt for a magic AU and someone gave me an ask about what if you wrote... As I'm not a huge magic fantasy reader, it was a big challenge. The most I had read in that genre was Jim Butcher's The Dresden Files and A witch type paranormal romance from back in late 1990s, the author I cannot remember. I did see Harry Potter movies but am not a huge YA fan which is what a lot of fantasy is written for.

So I had to figure out what was normal in a Magic/fantasy story so I could hit at least one or two reader expectations.

I also read some fic AUs of this genre to see how others had approached magic AU. I think Timeladyofthesith's Rift House is pretty amazing.

That being said, I didn't want to step on anyone's toes and tried to use tropes or fandom expectations with a twist. The title the Blessing is also a reference to Torchwood Miracle Day.

Santa Baby was a play on Dark Ten mixed with Seductive Boss as I was hanging online with a lot of Arrow folks and the rich CEO is a pretty big trope in Arrow fandom so I kind of played with that in DW AU with Ten x Rose. I never intended it to be a series but a very nice person asked and I figured out a series arc and continued to write one a Christmas until I was done. It was really written for a small group of people who enjoyed it.

Thanks for asking!

TELL ME ONE FIC YOU ASSOCIATE WITH MY USERNAME AND I'LL TELL YOU SOME COMMENTARY ABOUT IT.

Ask Me!

[arofrog-archive]

Chapters: 3/? Fandom: Ghosts (TV 2019) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Pat Butcher/The Captain (Ghosts TV 2019), Kitty/Mary (Ghosts TV 2019), Alison/Mike (Ghosts TV 2019), The Captain & Thomas Thorne, Alison & The Captain (Ghosts TV 2019) Characters: Pat Butcher (Ghosts TV 2019), The Captain (Ghosts TV 2019), Alison (Ghosts TV 2019), Mike (Ghosts TV 2019), Mary (Ghosts TV 2019), Kitty (Ghosts TV 2019), Thomas Thorne, Jemima (Ghosts TV 2019), Original Characters, Robin (Ghosts TV 2019), One Whole Humphrey (Ghosts TV 2019) Additional Tags: Will add more tags as I go, Alternate Universe - Teachers, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, there are........ intricate rituals, Fluff, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, god this is so fluff...., dw robin/humphrey is a joke ship i just need another couple, also ft clare/sam Summary:

Sir Captain has always been Button Academy's least favourite professor across the board, but all that changes when a certain someone arrives.

~~~

happy femslash february! have a mitty chapter for my teachers au :)

rbs appreciated!

[mylesimeblr]

Holy shit! Sorry, I... didn't know Will wasn't having any fun and Mike was toxic like that. Well damn, that's sad and you're right, I DON'T wanna read that. Good u let that one go. :P But hey, no, your stories aren't weird at all. Your mind is super cool and I love all the unique ideas u come up with. Dw about that. :)

Aww thanks for your kind words! I just don't write the stuff people usually write so yeah!

Regarding that AU, I didn't mean that Will isn't willing or anything and Mike isn't a complete psycho either. He's not a butcher or anything. Doesn't torture Will or stuff like that, if that's what my answer wrongly implied.

The state of mind is more like he "uses" Will for his own fantasies and Will lets him. It's dark and all but it's not rape either.

Don't know if I'm making much sense but I just want to clarify things up!