#dropping some incorrect quotes to stop myself from falling asleep

[sadsimp]

Incorrect Quotes I think fit (づ๑•ᴗ•๑)づ♡

Creepypasta Ocs as incorrect quotes

Oc is shipped with Brian/Hoodie :). I mashed Marble Hornets and Creepypasta

Fall: “They’re not my kid. I don’t have any kids.”

Annalise: “Uh, they’re running off.”

Fall scrambling: “FUCKING GOD DAMNIT!”

Miracle: “Hey Fall, can we have ice cream?”

Fall: “Not before dinner.”

Both: “...”

Fall: “Ah I’m just kidding go crazy kid.”

Miracle, half asleep: “Hey Mapa?”

Fall also half asleep: “...”

Miracle: “...”

Fall: “Did you.. just call me.. Mapa?” 

Miracle: “You know, if I just chewed tomatoes and spit it out on my fries, would it still be ketchup?”

Fall: “I worry about you sometimes kid.”

Helen when first meeting Misery: “Aww, your baby is so cute."

Fall: "Yeah, you say that because you haven't really met them yet.”

Misery who opens their mouth to reveal rows of sharp teeth and tongues: (´∀｀)

Miracle who’s jaw unhinged just to scare her off: ᕙ(`▿´)ᕗ

Helen: “It must be incredible being a parent."

Fall: "... at times. Would I change it for the world? No, absolutely not. Does it sometimes make me want to throw myself off a bridge?... Yes. It absolutely does.” 

Brian: "Is everything okay? I was really worried when you didn't come on time. You're always so punctual."

Fall: "Yeah, I'm sorry. I dropped my kid off at school only to find they forgot their homework at home, I'm sorry, you don't care."

Brian: "I wouldn't have asked if I didn't care."

Annalise: “What are you making?”

Fall: “Stew.”

Annalise: “Ooo! What kind?”

Fall: “The everything kind.” 

Annalise: “…What’s in it?”

Fall: “Everything.” 

Miracle: I need life advice. 

Fall, sipping Gatorade and eating cookie dough: You came to the right person

Miracle, struggling to push Fall: Can't you go any faster?

Fall, leaning back over Miracle: Oh no, gravity is increasing on me!

Miracle/Garlic: No it's not!

Fall: It really is, Mi! 

Garlic as FalI falls on top of them: Gah! You bitch! You're crushing me!

Fall knocks on Miracle’s door after he had a meltdown]

Fall: You ok in there?

Miracle/Garlic: *incoherent demonic screeching*

Fall: OK I'll bring you back some fries.

Charlotte: "I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff."

Helen: "I witnessed the dumb stuff."

Posy : "I recorded the dumb stuff."

Fall: "I joined you in the dumb stuff."

Annalise: "I tried to stop you from doing the dumb stuff!"

Fall: The path to inner peace begins with four words.

Fall, trying to avoid looking at Charlotte getting into trouble again: Not my fucking problem.

Posy: Come at me with an attack and I’ll defend myself against it.

Fall: You can rent out parking spots on your forehead.

Posy: I MEANT PHYSICALLY!

Annalise: So you called Fall for help instead of me??

Charlotte: Well, I mean, if you’re wanting to do something stupid you wouldn’t exactly call the voice of reason, now would you? 

Charlotte loses a fight- 

Fall sarcastically: This is… tragic. 

Posy : Not as tragic as your face.

Fall: That’s was uncalled for.

Posy: Your face is uncalled for. 

Miracle: Words that end in "ie" are cute! Like cutie, cookie, sweetie-

Fall: Die

Annalise: Fall, where's my slice of pie?

 Fall: My stomach

Annalise: Why?!

Fall: Because you drank the last of the milk, you fuCKING BITCH

Fall: You make me so pissed off so quickly. It's almost funny

Posy: I literally only said 6 words.

Fall: Yet here I am, boiling with hate.

Fall: Well, atoms never touch each other. Since we are made of atoms, we have never touched anything our whole lives.

Annalise: .....

Fall: So to answer your question, no, I didn't punch Posy in the face.

Annalise: What’s your type?

Hoodie: I have extremely high standards so far no one has been able to-

Fall: *Asleep snoring on the couch in tattered pjs and drooling*

Hoodie: Shit I can't believe they’re meeting all of my standards.

Annalise: While I'm gone, Helen you're in charge.

Helen: yes!

Annalise, whispering: Fall, you're secretly in charge.

Fall: I knew

Annalise: You have to apologize to Charlotte 

Fall: Fine. 'Unfuck you' or whatever.

Helen: I only got 4 hours of sleep yesterday

Fall: Pathetic. I got fucking 0

Charlotte: Look guys, I need help.

Posy: Love help?

Annalise: Financial help?

Helen: Emotional help?

Fall: Help moving a body?

Charlotte:

Fall: You… have a face.

Hoodie/Brian: Yes. 

Fall: I mean, a pretty face. You have a pretty face. You’re pretty 

Hoodie/Brian: Thanks 

Fall: Please accept my attempts at flirting, I don’t know what I’m fucking doing

Charlotte: I have an idea

Fall: A good idea?

Charlotte: Let's not get ahead of ourselves

Fall: Wait you like me? For my personality?

Hoodie: I know, I was surprised too

Hoodie: Are we fighting or flirting?

Fall: I'm gonna sink my teeth into your fucking throat! 

Hoodie: Still proving my point, mixed messages 

Hoodie: I have feelings for you.

Fall: Why? What the fuck is wrong with you? 

Fall: I don't need to go to bed. I'm not tired, I'll be fine.

Brian: But, darling, I'll be so lonely without you. Come curl up in my arms so I can feel whole again.

Fall: Are you trying to seduce me into healthy sleeping patterns??

Hoodie: It’s working isn’t it?

Fall: …. Son of a bitch

Posy: My god, do you ever stop with the “I wanna die” shit?

Fall: I’ll stop when I’m dead that’s for sure

Helen: Okay let’s play “Would You Rather”!

Helen: Would you rather die or-

Fall: Die

Helen: I haven’t even-

Fall: Die

Charlotte: What do you think Fall’s gonna do for a distraction?

Annalise: They’ll probably throw a rock or something. That’s what I would do

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Charlotte:

Annalise: … or he could do that

Posy: I like to think things through 

Fall: I once saw you eat a goddamn marshmallow that was still on fucking fire

Charlotte: Have you ever been yelled at by Fall?

Jackass Man: I’m not scared of her

Charlotte: 

Charlotte: Guess that’s a no

Fall: I spy with my eye someone who needs to shut the fuck up

Charlotte: …is it me?

Fall: It’s always you

“I’d throw you threw a window if I could.”

— Fall, to Charlotte at least 5 times a day 

Hoodie: It's not my fault, Fall, you were distracting me.

Fall: What did I do?

Hoodie: You existed.

[ breaking and entering]

Annalise: Could you do that a bit more quietly?

Fall: Aye, I'll put the crowbar on whisper mode

(After getting the Hell Traps off)

Fall, high on pain medication, tired, hungry and zoning in and out: I've connected the two dots.

Annalise, tired of their shit: You didn't connect shit.

Fall:  I've connected them.

Posy: Guess what I'm about to get!

Fall: On my last fucking nerves.

Fall: You’re alive.

Posy: No need to sound so disappointed.

Charlotte: When I become a serial killer I’ll put tapes that have “Mmm Watcha Say” in the mouths of my victims 

Annalise: When

Brian/Hoodie: Truth or Dare?

Fall: Truth

Brian/Hoodie: Do you want to kiss me?

Fall: Dare

Brian/Hoodie: I dare you to kiss me

Fall: Never have I ever-

Brian/Hoodie: That’s noT THE GAME

Annalise: Anyone d-

Helen: Depressed?

Charlotte: Disliked?

Fall: Drained?

Posy: Dumb?

Annalise: -done with their work…

Fall to Charlotte: I can’t believe you’d do something like that. At least let me record it next time

Hoodie/Brian: Whenever Fall gets mad at me, I tighten all the lids on our jars so they have to ask me for help.

[sounds of glass shattering in the background]

Hoodie/Brian: It hasn't worked yet, but it will.

Fall: It's a dangerous mission, you're not going. End of discussion.

Charlotte: Or what. 

Fall: 

Fall: … Excuse me?

Charlotte: ...Um. 

Brian, stroking Fall’s hair: You're so cute and pretty.

Fall, sleepily: I could beat the shit out of you.

Brian, lovingly: I know.

Helen: truth or dare?

Fall: truth 

Helen: how many hours of sleep have you got?

Fall: dare

Helen: go to bed

Fall: I don’t like this game 

Charlotte: What time is it? 

Fall: I don’t know, pass me my cello and we’ll find out. 

Fall: *Plays the cello loudly and extremely out of tune* 

Annalise: WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING THE CELLO AT TWO IN THE MORNING?!

Fall: It’s 2 am

Fall: Die

Posy: Come kill me yourself

*20 minutes later*

Posy: I WAS JOKING

Charlotte: I don't think we can mansplain, manipulate or malewife our way outta this one Fall

Fall: *reloads weapon*

Fall: Manslaughter it is

Brian: Are you a cuddler?

Fall: I'm a machine of pain and death.

Brian: ...

Fall: .. yeah I'm a cuddler

Fall: from here we are silent. not quiet, but silent.

the rest of the group nods

*Charlotte fighting for her life to not let the hiccup out

Charlotte: *hiccup*

*The group looks behind them, all eyes on Charlotte*

Annalise: *whispers* really Charlotte? right now?

Charlotte : *whispers* i’m sorry i cant *hiccups* help it!!

Fall: *whisper scream* quiet.

Charlotte: *hiccups* 

*What the cp oc group would say if you text them at 2am saying you want to shave off your eyebrows*

Fall: do it pussy

Annalise: it’s 2am piss off

Charlotte: Can I help? Can we put a slit in my eyebrow???

Helen: Do I need to schedule a therapy appointment for you?

Helen would later send: There is an opening at 3:00 pm this Thursday. I am clearing your schedule for then. 

Miracle: what’s a thot?

Charlotte: uh..a very thoughtful person.

*later at dinner*

Miracle: Auntie can you pass the salt?

Annalise: sure 

Miracle: thanks Auntie! you’re such a thot!

Annalise: *spits out drink*

Fall: *laughs*

Posy: Fall, can you pass the salt?

Fall: Posy, can you pass away?

Brian: oh look, we’re under a mistletoe

Fall: *looks up* no we aren’t

*later that night*

Fall: *wakes up at 4am* oh my god! He was flirting with me!

Archie: oh my god, the stove is on fire! what do we do?!

Charlotte: okay, no worries, we just need an adult.

Archie: but WE ARE adults.

Charlotte: WE NEED AN ADULTER ADULT!! WHERES ANNALISE?!

Archie: I heard Charlotte was in jail, what happened? 

Billy: Yeah, she got arrested for something she didn’t do. 

Helen: What?

Fall: What didn’t she do? 

Billy: Run fast enough. 

Annalise: 🤨

Fall: Wasn’t she with you...? 

Fall: ... 

Fall: You left her behind didn’t you? 

Billy: It was either her or me. 

Helen: So we have good news and bad news.

Annalise: Bad news first then.

Helen: The fire that has started in the kitchen is now out of control.

Annalise: The- THE WHAT STARTED??!!

Charlotte, holding a perfectly toasted marshmallow: See, I nailed it though! That’s the good news!

Posy: I just don't understand why people hate me so much...

Fall: You're snobby, you stink, you're overly violent, not to mention you're also-

Posy: I GET IT!

Charlotte: guess what

Fall: bitch with the way you live I have no fucking idea

Fall: what else are you good at? Besides making my life fucking miserable

Charlotte: I can color

Bonnie: where are you

Archie: turn around

Archie: no the other way

Archie: wrong way again

Bonnie: Archie, where exactly are you??

Archie: at home, but the thought of you turning aimlessly in circles is hilarious 

Fall: You want a beer?

Annalise: HE'S 4!!!

Fall: I DON'T KNOW!!! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH IT?!

Helen: We call that a traumatic experience. 

Helen, turning to Bonnie: Not a "bruh moment"

Helen, turning to Archie: Not a “major L”

Helen, turning to Charlotte: Not "sadge"

Helen, turning to Fall: And DEFINITELY not an "oof LMAO"

Fall: You're the love of my life and my best friend, I would do anything for you.

Brian: I want you to eat three meals a day and have a decent sleep schedule.

Fall: Absolutely not.

Bonnie: I’ve got a 6th sense, and it’s called paranoia

Billy: Sometimes it physically pains me to hold back my sarcastic comments

Billy: *during a fight* You use emojis like a straight person!

Fall: *mortified* That is literally the worst thing anyone has ever said about me.

Brian: *watching Fall in adoration* Heh heh, you are so beautiful when you hate the world~

Archie: Okay, onto plan 2!

Charlotte: Don’t you plan B?

Archie: No, that implies I only have 26 back-up plans

Charlotte: I have a problem.

Billy: Kill it.

Fall: Can you chill for like, two seconds?

Billy: Let's just agree to both say we're sorry on the count of three.

Billy: One... two... three.

Fall: ...

Billy: ...

Billy : See, now I'm just disappointed in both of us.

Fall: *on the phone* Just snap his kneecaps and he’ll talk, I’m at a parent teacher conference.

Fall: Anyways, you said Miracle is enjoying finger painting! That's great.

Charlotte: Hey Fall, can you give me the opposite of these words?

Charlotte: Always, Coming, From, Take, Me, Down.

Fall: Never, Going, To, Give, You-

Fall: The fucking satisfaction.

Fall: Would anyone know any good vendors for professional-quality brass knuckles?

Helen: I know you’re serious, but you say the scariest shit sometimes

Archie: Croissants: dropped

Charlotte: Road: works ahead

Fall: BBQ sauce: on my titties

Helen: Shavacado: fresh

Billy: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead

Annalise:

Annalise: I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.

Charlotte: Marry, fuck, kill. Annalise, Helen, or me

Fall: Marry Helen, fuck Annie and kill Posy

Posy: I wasn't even a choice!

Fall: Kill Posy

Billy: Hey, it’s Billy

Fall: Oh no, what did he do?

Billy: No, dumby . Like it’s me. 

Fall: what did you do? 

Annalise: *resting on the couch.*

Charlotte: *slowly puts Annalise’s fingers in warm water* 

Annalise: I’m still awake, Charlotte. 

Charlotte:...

*Billy and Charlotte sitting in jail together*

Charlotte: So who should we call?

Billy: I’d call Fall, but I feel safer in jail

Annalise: How are we supposed to put a tracker the size of a penny on Bonnie without her noticing?

Fall: Hey, Bonnie, I bet you 5 bucks that you can't swallow this penny.

Bonnie: *Takes and swallows tracker* Pay up, loser.

Annalise: …

*Fall is speaking on the phone with Annalise*

Fall: Yeah, I'm with Posy

Posy: I’m fucking dying-

Fall: Yep, she’s okay.

Posy: I have a knife in my chest!

Fall: No, she can't talk right now. She's sleeping, sorry.

Posy: I'M BLEEDING OUT-

Archie: Everyone, synchronize your watches.

Fall: I don’t know how to do that.

Annalise: I don’t wear a watch.

Billy: Time is a construct.

Archie: God is more powerful than you.

Fall: I will kick your god in the kneecaps. 

Helen: Hey Fall are you okay?

Fall: I have this headache that comes and goes. 

*Charlotte walks into the room*

Fall: And there it is again. 

Fall: I hate being touched

Fall: the last time I was touched by another person was in hand to hand combat

Annalise: Brian is literally hugging you right now

Fall:

Fall: this means nothing. Fear me

Annalise: If you drank 42 cups of coffee in one sitting, the caffeine overdose would kill you.

Fall: *hasn’t slept in over a week* So 41 is the limit?

Brian, pointing: May I sit there?

Fall: That’s my lap

Brian: That doesn’t answer my question, Fall. 

Fall: Wait, what just happened? 

Archie: I don't know. I think Helen's not used to feeling emotions. Maybe it was too much for her

Helen, in the distance: *tearful* Shut up! 

Fall: Yesterday I overheard Archie say to Charlotte, “Are you sure this is a good idea?”, and Charlotte replied with “Trust me.”

Fall: I have never moved from one room to another so fast in my life.

Billy: I didn’t get this far by having common sense!

Brian: I’m going to shower, wanna help me?

Fall, scoffing: What, you’ve never showered before?

*Later*

Annalise: Fall, he was flirting with you.

Fall: No he- oh my god.

Fall: I’m actually deeply in love with Brian and we’ve been dating for a couple months now, we even have adorable pet names, I call him  my beloved, my love

Charlotte: why are you telling me this??

Fall: because no one will believe you~*Walks away cackling*

Charlotte : …you sON OF A-

Fall: "I thought you'd be taller."

Brian: "And I thought you'd be less of a dick. Looks like we're both full of disappointments."

Helen: If you got arrested what would be the charges? 

Archie: Theft.  

Charlotte: Disturbing the peace. 

Annalise: Aggravated assault. 

Billy: Arson.  

Fall: All of the above. In that order, probably. 

Fall: I’m a cold blooded killer. I crave vengeance for the loss of my family. I care for no one but those I have lost

Brian, tripping as he runs into the room and falling flat on his face: Ugh!

Fall: *stares*

Brian, climbing to his feet: I’m here to help!

Fall: I want that. Him, I want him-

Brian: Can you do me a favour?

Fall: I would literally cover up a murder you committed, plant my DNA at the crime scene and take the blame for it if you asked me to.

Brian: …okay… so can you do the dishes?

Fall: Fuck no

Brian: *staring at a sleeping Fall with heart eyes as he plays with their hair*

Brian: I would burn the world down just to watch the fire dance in your eyes

Fall: *stirs*

Brian: Bitch if you wake up-

Fall: Lately Archie's gotten into dad jokes, but what's worse is that Billy actually likes them

Archie: I had a nice vacuum cleaner but I had to sell it. It was just gathering dust!

Billy, laughing: That's what it does! 

Fall: Every time I think my hell can't get worse, life finds a way

Fall: Any idiot would  know that!

Charlotte: I knew that

Fall: See!?

Kidnapper: we have your boyfriend. 

Fall: you have Hoodie? 

Kidnapper: yeah. 

Fall: good luck with that

Billy: I don’t like women

Charlotte: You’re a MISOGYNIST?

Fall, waking up from dying again : Oh hey, guys. What time is it?

Annalise: It’s about 2am. Are you hungry? 

Fall: Oh, cool. I’m up for some toast. 

Charlotte (sobbing uncontrollably): Can you guys please stop acting like nothing happened?!

Helen, putting his hands over Fall's eyes: Guess who!

Fall: It's either Peach or the cold, clammy hands of death.

Helen, pulling her hands away: It's Peach!

Fall: Dammit.

Fall: I'm not mean. Name one mean thing I’ve ever done.

Bonnie: A few years ago, you convinced me eggs weren't real.

Fall: They're not.

Bonnie: Haha, very funny.

Fall: I'm serious. Didn't you hear?

Bonnie: No... what happened?

Fall: ...Why would you fall for this again-

Helen: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated

Fall: killed without hesitation

Helen: Darling, we’ve talked about this-

Kidnapper: we have your partner.  

Brian: you have Fall? 

Kidnapper: yeah. 

Brian: good luck with that

Charlotte: On a scale from “damn Daniel” to “fre sha vaca do”, how are you feeling?

Fall: In between “it’s an avocado, thanks” and “how did you defeat Captain America”, but as a solid answer I would say “I don’t need a degree to be a clothing hanger”. How about you, Arch?

Archie: Probably “road work ahead”.

Annalise: I speak many languages, and this is none of them

Recruit: When you gonna stop giving me blue balls?

Archie: Whoa hey!-

Annalise: Aight, I got my steel toes on. How bout we make’em black and blue?

Recruit: I-

Annalise: Shut the fuck up. I’ve already turned you down twice take a hint

Archie: Just be yourself.

Charlotte: 'Be myself'? Arch, I have one day to win Cody over. How long did it take before you guys started liking me?

Helen: Few days

Billy: Couple weeks.

Annalise: Six months.

Fall: Jury’s still out.

Charlotte: See, Arch?

Charlotte: 'Be myself'. What kind of garbage advice is that?

Helen: What do you first notice when someone approaches you?

Fall: The audacity.

Brian: you could have died!

Fall: but i didn’t!

Brian: you could have!

Fall: but i didn’t!

Brian: but you could have!

Fall: are we seriously going to keep doing this?

[palmtreefriend]

Angel: You're ugly when you lie, Christian! Christian: I'm not lying! Angel: Then why are you ugly?!

[helloalycia]

my patient’s neighbour [three] // wanda maximoff

summary: your relationship with Wanda gets a little bumpy when her work life crosses over with your personal life.

warning/s: implied kidnapping, mentions of anxiety

author's note: so the ‘i love you’ confession was actually inspired by an incorrect quote on @aquamarinescarlet’s page! i thought it would be cute aha

part one | part two | part four | part five | part six | part seven | masterlist | wattpad

It was two months into our relationship when I knew I'd fallen in love with Wanda. I can't remember the exact moment when it hit me – I guess it had happened gradually over time – but I remember the embarrassing moment when I told her.

She'd brought me as her date to an Avengers party thrown by Tony Stark. I'd been to one of them before, about a month into dating her, as she'd wanted me to meet her friends from work AKA the freakin' Avengers. They were actually really great and (somewhat) humble people. I didn't expect to become 'friends' with any of them, more just be friendly whenever I saw them through Wanda. To my surprise, I became quite good friends with Natasha Romanoff.

We had the same dark sense of humour, both had an unexplainable obsession with horror films and she was genuinely just really easy to talk to. I wasn't expecting it, but it was nice to gain a new friend in addition to a new girlfriend.

So, I was at my second Avengers party with Wanda by my side, but the party had ended about half an hour ago and I may or may not have been drunk.

We were sat on the couch, conversing with the other Avengers, and I was sat between Wanda and Natasha. The others were involved in their own conversations and I was too dazed to realise what I was doing until it happened.

"Wanda has no idea I'm in love with her," I said (not-so) quietly, leaning over to my left, into Wanda's ear unknowingly.

Wanda, who was playing with my fingers in her hand, paused and glanced to me with bright eyes, a surprised expression on her face.

"You're in love with me?" she asked, lips twitching into a smile.

I blinked, her words settling in, before I licked my lips. "Oh, sorry." Turning to my right, I moved to Natasha's ear, whispering loudly, "Wanda has no idea I'm in love with her."

Natasha glanced to me with a quirked brow, amused smile on her lips. "She doesn't? You sure about that?"

"You're in love with me?" Wanda repeated, sitting forward and earning my attention.

I gasped, wondering how she knew, before slapping Natasha's arm and looking to her with a frown. "You told her?! I trusted you!"

Natasha ignored me, instead looking to Wanda with an encouraging look. "I'll leave this one to you. Good luck."

She stood up, heading over to Thor and Bruce Banner on the other couch, and I booed her as she left.

"Yeah, run away, you secret-give-away'er!" I called after her with a pout, before crossing my arms.

"I think it's time I take you home," Wanda said decidedly, trying not to laugh as she pulled me up off the couch.

"I don't like Natasha anymore," I mumbled, allowing Wanda to take me away.

She bid her goodbyes to her teammates before leading me to the lift. I don't really remember what else happened until we were suddenly at my house – well, my parents house, but they had given it to me as they travelled the world with their retirement money. She was leading me inside and to my bedroom, getting me dressed like the sweet girlfriend she was, before tucking me into bed.

Of course, being the clingy drunk I was, I pulled her on top of me and didn't let go as I wrapped my arms around her.

"Stay," I mumbled into her shoulder, closing my eyes.

She chuckled, trying to pull away. "Y/N, you need to sleep, c'mon."

"I will," I whined, not letting her leave. "If you stay with me."

She paused, before giving in with a sigh. "Fine."

Tiredly, I smiled. "Yesssss." I patted the spot next to me. "Right here, please."

In the light of my bedside lamp, I saw her roll her eyes playfully, before turning off the lamp and jumping under the covers with me. I sighed with relief, cuddling into her side without hesitating.

"I love you," I mumbled, barely thinking about it.

She tightened her embrace and I felt her kiss the top of my head. "You're probably gonna forget you said that in the morning. But I'll remind you. And if you still think it, then I'll reply."

Her words went into one ear and out the other. I hummed in response, not knowing what I was answering to, and let myself get lost in her scent as I drifted into a peaceful slumber.

When I woke up the next morning, I quite liked the idea of sharing bed with Wanda and waking up to her dishevelled hair and our intertwined legs, even though I didn't remember inviting her to stay. Of course, I also had a banging headache and felt like someone had hit me with a train, so I didn't get chance to appreciate it much.

"Fuck," I mumbled, pulling the duvet over my head to block out the sun streaming through the slit in my curtain.

Wanda, who was shuffling beside me, yawned and stretched her arms. Suddenly, I heard quiet laughter, before she spooned me, wrapping her arms around my stomach and pulling me closer. Her leg raised and clung to my waist, and as much as I appreciated the way she fit perfectly against me, I was still in pain.

"Why did you let me drink that much?" I groaned, squeezing my eyes shut.

"I believe that was your own conscience decision, dorogoy (darling)," she said in that know-it-all voice of hers, and it was hard for me to be annoyed at her because she had a raspy, morning voice and her accent was especially thick with fatigue and damn, Wanda Maximoff was pretty sexy in the morning.

"Whatever," was all I said, but I placed my hand on hers and joint our fingers together.

"You know," she started, tucking her head comfortably into my neck, "I quite like waking up to you like this. You're very cute, even if you're cranky."

Despite aforementioned crankiness, I cracked a smile. "I like this, too."

It was very domestic, something I didn't get the privilege of experiencing with Wanda because she worked a lot, and it felt good.

After hanging around in bed for a little while longer, I got up and showered whilst Wanda offered to make me some breakfast – "Pancakes are a hangover's cure! Or at least according to Tony". After getting ready, I came downstairs to find a stack of pancakes and maple syrup waiting for me.

"You are a Godsend," I told her, pressing a haste kiss to her lips before sitting at the table with the pancakes. "Thank you."

She chuckled, grabbing her own pancakes and sitting opposite me. "Anything for you."

After I dug in, complimenting her on how delicious they tasted, a comfortable silence fell between us. Well, until Wanda spoke up cautiously.

"So, does anything from last night ring a bell?" she asked, making me look up to see her staring eagerly.

My content expression fell. "Shoot, did I do something embarrassing?" I facepalmed. "God, what was it? Did I fall asleep on somebody?"

She smiled with adoration, eyes twinkling in the morning sun. "No, nothing like that."

I could tell there was something though, judging from her hesitant expression. I scrunched my face with regret.

"What did I do?" I asked, unprepared to hear it. "Did I say something to you?"

She played with her fork, twisting it around in her plate nervously, which was very unlike her. "Yeah, actually, you did."

I waited, feeling like the silence was deafening the longer she stayed quiet.

"You said you were in love with me," she said, voice so soft and quiet that I barely heard it.

I felt my heart drop to my stomach. "I what?"

"I mean, technically you said I had no idea you were in love with me, but I think you were supposed to tell Nat that," she continued, eyes avoiding mine. "Then you told Nat and you got mad at her because you thought she told me."

I facepalmed for the second time that morning. "Oh, God..."

"Then you invited me to stay the night and told me you loved me before you fell asleep," she finished rambling. "I just, er, wanted to check if you meant that..."

I raised my eyebrows with disbelief. "Are you kidding?" I reached over the table to grab her hand. "Wanda, of course I meant that! But I hoped to tell you at a better time than by accident whilst I was drunk."

Blue eyes flickered to mine, excitement creeping onto her face. "You meant it."

I breathed out, realising what exactly I'd just said. "I– yeah. I meant it. I'm in love with you, Wanda."

Her smile widened. "I'm in love with you, too."

My heart fluttered in my chest as I relaxed my shoulders. "You love me."

She giggled, squeezing my hand. "We just did this."

"Right! We did," I said, shaking my head, grin forming on my lips. "Sorry. I'm just so happy right now."

"Me, too," she said in agreement, thumb stroking the top of my hand.

I didn't think things could go wrong from here. I was on top of the world! But of course, the world had a funny way of ruining things.

—

Dating a superhero had its pros and cons, I suppose, but neither really showed themselves to me often as it was as if Wanda's superhero life was separate to the one we shared. When she and I were together, it was just us. And she would leave for work and I wouldn't think about it. Then she would return and it would be us again.

If I took a moment out of my day to stop and really think about where she was, what she could be doing, the danger she could be in... I just couldn't do it. Even when she would show up to our next date with a fresh bruise from training, or a broken bone from a mission gone too far, I'd worry about it for the time being then try to let it go. Those weren't superhero perks, those were reasons to be concerned. And I couldn't handle imagining the time when she'd come back to me in a worse state, or to not even come back at all.

So, her superhero life rarely overlapped with our shared one. And I was happier that way. Until it did.

I was running errands one day, little things that required me to run around the city – dry cleaning, grocery shopping, picking up some DIY stuff for my house. It was a pretty relaxing, fun day. I'd treated myself to lunch, was soaking in the sunshine and planning to unwind with some Netflix on the couch.

"Hold on, I need to unlock the front door," I mumbled into the phone. I was talking to Wanda, catching her up with my day as I returned home.

"Try not to drop your phone this time," she teased from the other end, and I could just imagine the smirk on her face.

"So funny," I said with an eye roll. "Real comedian."

She laughed as I placed my phone in my pocket, not quite hanging up. Pulling my keys from my shopping bag, I fiddled with them, attempting to find the key for my front door.

Suddenly, something metal and cold pressed to my back and I jumped, dropping my keys with surprise.

"Don't draw attention," the person said, and I went rigid, looking up to see a reflection of someone unrecognisable in the glass of my front door. "You're going to leave your things here and come with me."

"Who are you?" I asked, trying to turn around, but the object pressed harder into my back, making me wince.

"Leave your fucking things here and give me your hand," the man ordered, ignoring my question. "Phone included. And don't even think about making a call."

I swallowed hard, panic settling in as I listened to the threatening stranger. Pulling my phone from my pocket, I realised that the stranger had no idea I was already on a call. With an Avenger nonetheless.

"I'll put it down," I narrated my actions, soon coming to realise that the object behind my back was in fact the barrel of a gun.

Hoping Wanda was still listening in and could hear the exchange, I put my phone on the ground and placed my shaking hand in the man's outstretched one. He tucked his gun back into the waistband of his jeans before tugging me down the steps and to a black van parked opposite my house.

Too paralysed with fear at the sight of two more strange men getting out the van, I felt my throat go dry and words get stuck at the bottom. Looking around, I hoped to find a neighbour's eyes or dog-walker's lost gaze, but nobody was here. Whoever these men were had timed their entrance perfectly.

When we reached the van, the back doors were opened and the man spun me around roughly before placing a bag on my head and shoving me inside. Hot tears ran down my face as I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering what the hell was happening and who these people were. But mostly, I hoped Wanda was already on her way.

—

The whole incident was over soon. That's what we were calling it now. The 'incident'. Of course, it could have been called other things... the kidnapping, the abduction, the capture. But we settled with the 'incident'. It was less explicit, as if minimising how utterly terrifying the whole experience was.

I never did find out who those men were. Wanda offered to tell me, feeling a need to explain herself and blame herself and drag herself down in the dirt to make me feel better, to bring me out of my silence and give me something to feel good about. I recalled her mentioning they were after her, getting to her through me – her girlfriend.

She rescued me quite quickly. Being tied up and locked away and left to cry like a child, wondering if I was going to die any minute at the hands of captors whom I had never met nor done anything to in my life, wasn't fun. People always wonder what they would do in those situations; maybe they would square up and put up a fight; maybe they would scream and shout and get everyone's attention; maybe they'd even retort with sarky remarks and go out with a blaze of glory.

I never imagined what that would be like, but I discovered I could do neither of those things. I just let them take me, let them threaten me and point their guns at me and tie me up and lock me away and–

I let myself cry and feel terrified and shake and lose my words and imagine the worst. Some would call that giving in, but this wasn't something you could prepare for. Surely my response was justified? I wasn't sure. I just knew that when Wanda burst onto the scene, taking out the men with ease and taking me out of there, taking me home, I was momentarily safe.

But then as she began to ramble off her explanations and apologies and regrets, I found myself turning in on myself, unable to hear her out. I didn't blame her one bit, but I also couldn't listen to one more second. So, I tuned her out.

I sat on the couch, staring at the way the thread was coming loose on one of my cushions. I thought about how quickly the whole 'incident' had happened. How one minute I was sat in a cell and now I was sat on my couch. How I was then shaking with fear and now I felt nothing.

"...you listening? Hey, are you okay?"

I only tuned back in when she sat on the cushion I was looking at. Her fingers rested on my cheek, guiding my head upwards so I was looking her in the eyes, glassy and red and swollen from crying. I probably looked the same, though I was all out of tears.

"I promise you nobody will be back here," she said with certainty, thumb stroking my cheek. "There's S.H.I.E.L.D. agents posted all along the street. And I'm happy to stay here if you need me to. You're safe now."

I knew I was. And despite my calm exterior, my heart was still racing in my chest, adrenaline still pumping through my body as if expecting to make a sudden break for it.

"What are you thinking?" she muttered, eyes flicking between mine curiously. "Talk to me. Please."

I shook my head, looking away. "I'm okay."

"It's okay not to be," she said quietly, squeezing my hand.

"I know."

So, we kept that bit up for a few more days, maybe a week. Me pretending I was okay, though still distant from Wanda as if she'd caught the plague, and her pretending she knew I was telling the truth.

But I knew she sensed the nightmares I had, waking me up in cold sweats. I knew she saw the way I tensed when a shadow cast along the wall from a moving object. Or the way I never faced the front door when unlocking it to get inside.

I guess she couldn't take it anymore at some point, possibly a week or two later, as when I was mixing my soup in a bowl after heating it up in the microwave, she sighed loudly.

"You okay?" I asked, glancing up at her. She was stood by the counter, seeming tired.

She'd been staying with me since the incident happened, obviously, and it was nice having her around so much, despite the circumstances. But I knew she was worried and had been keeping it in. I just didn't have the energy to acknowledge it.

"I'm fine," she said quickly, though her fingers still drummed on the countertop.

I let it go, shrugging, before paying attention to my soup. Her impatience was obnoxiously loud, filling the house with a discomfort she was dying to express. Eventually, she did.

"I'm not fine," she decided, and I stopped stirring my soup as I looked to her tugging on her sleeves distractedly. "I'm not fine because you're not fine."

"I've told you I am," I said monotonously, eyes boring into hers.

"I know you're not," she said, crossing her arms and hugging herself. "I've noticed you and..."

I quirked a brow. "And?"

She frowned, eyes softening with empathy. "Don't make me say it, Y/N."

I pressed my tongue to the back of my teeth as I looked down to my steaming soup.

"Talk to me," she pleaded, rounding the counter and leaning beside me, searching for my eyes. "I just want to help."

I swallowed hard. "I have nothing to say, Wanda."

"A really scary thing happened," she began hesitantly. "The fact that you don't have anything to say– that you've not said anything, isn't right."

"Well, I guess there's something wrong with me," I said dismissively, before grabbing the pepper grinder before me and using it.

"No, there's not," she reassured, not giving up. "You just need to talk.”

I set the grinder down, turning to face her abruptly. She straightened up with surprise, taking a small step back.

"What do you want me to say?" I asked, voice calm but full of unintentional malice. "Huh? What do you want me to tell you? That I'm terrified somebody is watching my house, waiting for a quiet moment to break in? That I have to follow you into every room you go in because I don't want to be left alone? That I can't fucking sleep because I'm scared that when I close my eyes, I'll be locked in a nightmare I can't escape? Is that what you want me to tell you? Does that make you feel better, Wanda? Because it doesn't make me feel any better. It just reminds me how fucking terrified I am."

I pocketed my shaking hands, blinked away the tears that threatened to fall, swallowed down the lump rising in my throat. She watched me, unsure what to say at first and I didn't blame her. It was an outburst waiting to happen.

"I'm–"

"Don't say you're sorry," I snapped, before flinching at my tone. "I know you're sorry. And I don't blame you for what happened. I just– I don't know what to do anymore."

Her eyes were studying me like green lasers burning holes into my skin and I hated that I couldn't meet them. I hated even more that I couldn't leave the kitchen out of anger or frustration because I was too scared to be left alone without her by my side.

So, I leaned against the counter, turning away from her, and let out a shaky breath, eyes burning and heart thumping in my ears. Her arms suddenly wrapped around me without question, and I let her take me into her chest, squeezing me so tight so I knew she was there.

Closing my eyes, I felt tears rolling down my cheeks, but no sound came out. I struggled to breathe, unable to take in air through my nose as I stuffed my head so hard into her shirt that I couldn't see a thing except darkness. I knew I'd eventually be okay, that I'd eventually get back to some sense of normalcy. But for now, having her here with me was okay. And I found it much better to just be with her then have to go over and talk it out.

She was warm and strong and smelt like home and God, I loved her. I was lucky to have her.

—

It took about a month and a half to get over the incident. And after that, we never brought it up again. It was just easier that way. We continued on like usual, falling back into our old routine of having a separate us and her separate superhero life.

At some point, I thought it would be nice for her to meet my parents. They were back in town for the week, wanting to check in and see how I was. It was nice having them around and I was excited for them to meet Wanda, who I'd mentioned in some of our Skype calls.

"We don't have to make it a thing," I said as I proposed the idea. We were cleaning around Anna's apartment as she napped in her bedroom. "It's not like an 'oh, meet the parents' thing. They just happen to be in town and we're having a dinner, so I thought you might want to come. If you don't, it's not a big deal. I haven't told them to expect you. Not unless you say yes. Which you don't have to."

She chuckled, eyes gleaming with amusement. "Dorogoy (darling), calm down. Breathe."

I neatened the cushions on the couch with a bit too much force. "Am I not breathing? I'm pretty sure I'm breathing."

Her hands slipped into mine as she spun me around to face her. An amused smile on her lips, she said, "You need to relax. If you're like this now, then who knows what you'll be like on the night of the dinner?"

It took me a second to realise what she'd said and when I did, my eyes widened. "Wait, the night of the– does that mean you're going?"

She laughed, tugging me closer to her. "Yes, I'm going. I'd love to meet your parents!"

My shoulders relaxed as her fingers played with mine mindlessly. A smile appeared on my lips as I said, "Thank you. I– it'll be fun. No pressure. Just a dinner."

"Just a dinner," she confirmed, before kissing my forehead gently. "Can't wait."

And so on the day before my parents left for Scotland, yet another trip on their never ending retirement travels, I waited for Wanda to pick me up so we could go to a restaurant to meet my parents, who were already there after spending the day shopping in town.

She arrived at the door with a beautiful smile and bright eyes, looking me up and down.

"Just on time," I teased, tilting my head to the side, before being serious. "You look amazing tonight, Wanda."

"As do you, moya lyubov' (my love)," she said sweetly, leaning forward to kiss my cheek, before stepping inside. "Also, these are for you."

She removed her hand from behind her back as I closed the door, revealing a gorgeous, colourful bouquet of flowers.

"I saw them and thought of you," she began to explain without even realising how cute she was; a smile crept on my lips as she continued, "but then I realised I've never gotten you flowers before which is very dumb of me because a pretty girl deserves pretty flowers, right?"

There was no doubt that my face was heating up from the attention, flustered yet honoured at her words.

"Wanda, I love them," I said, accepting the flowers and meeting her gaze. "And to be fair, nobody has ever gotten me flowers before."

"You're kidding," she said with disbelief, stepping forward and wrapping her arms loosely around my waist. Reading my serious expression, she added, "Not even for your birthday? Or a celebration?"

I shook my head. "Nope."

She gave me a knowing look. "Well, that's very unfortunate. But I'm glad I could be the first."

I held her gaze, amusement dancing in her smile. Mirroring her expression, I leaned forward and pressed a kiss to her nose, making her scrunch it up delightfully.

"Me, too," I said, and I meant it.

"Come on, we should get going," she said, squeezing my waist before letting go. "Don't want to be late, do we?"

"We do not," I agreed, before putting the flowers in a vase of water and leaving them by the door.

"You ready?" she asked, holding open the front door.

I intertwined our hands and met her smile with my own. "I'm ready."

Taking the girlfriend to meet the parents. What could go wrong?