#dreaming as a system can be so fucking weird too

[stainedpurplehoodie]

Cohost and I had like the worst possible nightmare we could last night. All we remember is being in a confined space with zombie animals attacking us. Cohost get anxious in confined spaces and absolutely hates animal related violence. Whereas I have an intense irrational fear of zombies. Please brain we don't need more trauma lol

[godgavemenoname]

as a younger alter i relate to claudia iwtv x_x'

[wakeup01]

Playing It Straight

“Roomieee. I need your help with something.” I hear the telltale high pitched cry from my twinky roommate Yuan’s bedroom. The last thing I need right now is his whiny ass distracting me.

“What it is? I have a date with this hot chick in half an hour. You better have clothes on this time dude.” My hand pushes the door to his room ajar and I see him laying down on the bed facing away from me. There was some upbeat trashy pop song playing on his sound system. Yuan begins to gyrate to the beat. “Don’t dance. No dancing.” I order bluntly, turning off his music.

There was being gay and then there was Yuan, who seemed to make it his whole identity. It was bad enough his room was colour coded in pastel purples to match his dusty lavender hair. But he had now painted the whole door too.

“It’s my big butt, I think there’s something wrong with it.” He announces with fake concern, rolling his hips on the bed sheet - revealing more of his smooth slim body than I ever dared wish to see. I make a internal note to ‘mace own eyes later’.

Yuan was not as innocent as he liked to make out and had on numerous occasions attempted to trick me into indulging in his fantasies. Gifting me a bright crop top and calling it a ‘fashionable tank top’ - it certainly turned heads at the gym the one day I wore it, or inviting me to a progressive club with the promise of scoring ‘lots of ass’. And the less said about ‘locktober’ the better, that was NOT a halloween costume. Only last week he had convinced me to listen to some gay as fuck audio tapes while I slept; obviously that crap didn’t work on a man like me. His justification always being ‘you’ll like it, I swear’. This one was a bit on the nose, even for him.

“Dude we talked about this, I’m flattered, really. I get it, I’m a gay bottoms wet dream. I can’t blame you for eying my superior meat.” I puff out my well built chest, barely contained in my tank top. “But fuck, it ain’t gonna happen.” I attempt to not make eye contact with him as he looks over his shoulder at me.

“No, like seriously. Something feels wrong, can you pleeease juth take a looksee. Pretty please.” He pulls down his shorts and moons me as I shield my eyes. It’s like the sun, you’re safe if you don’t look directly at it, right? Internal note: ‘buy more mace’.

“Serious like when you said we were in a ‘mandatory hand holding zone?” I hear muffled giggling coming from his pillow. “Bro it’s probably from all the things you shove up it.” I shudder, trying not to picture THAT in my head. “I’ll look but only if you promise me that you’ll drop that ‘I know you’re secretly gay bullshit.’ My friends at the gym heard that crap last time.”

“Hehe. Ooo thuch a manly jock. Geez, I pwromise. Meathead.” Yuan winks at me and I hated him for it. Hated the weird way it made me feel in my chest.

I sigh loudly for effect and bend down until the cleft of his…cheek is at eye level. I felt so self conscious, how on earth did he talk me into this? I look at my chiseled body just to remind myself, yes I am a man. A masculine man. God, here we go. My eyes briefly glance across his—ew—his raised butt before I quickly look away.

“Bruh I don’t see a thing. It’s a mans butt. Congratulations.” What the hell am I even looking for? I’m sat on the floor checking out a dude’s…posterior. And for what?

“Come on, look clother.” Yuan insists with a slight lisp, curving his back and pushing his rear higher.” Again, I look at my thick biceps, yes, still a man.

His hands pull at his buttocks and slowly part them, revealing his tight hole to me. Woah. One glimpse was all it took. I should have recoiled but instead I was fascinated. I’d never seen a man’s hole before, it was different…

I hear him say something to me but whatever it was, it didn’t seem too important. I couldn’t stop staring, it was like looking into a black hole, and the more I looked the more enraptured I became. It was distorting my worldview, it made me feel like I had been missing out on something all these years.

“Helloooo! See anything?”

“Uuhhh. Maybe.” I mumble, my head getting closer to his rear.

I pull away his hands and replace them with my own, laying my fingers across his round cheeks and spreading them wider. Wow, it was…dare I say, enticing? The rest of the room faded from my mind as my eyes fall deeper into his needy, winking hole. I lean in and my nose makes contact with his crack. I can’t help myself, I inhale and suck up his scent, it acts like an immediate aphrodisiac. My cock wakes up, poking against the edge of the bed.

“You have been lithening to your programming for me then. Good Meathead. Remember when you were the stuck-up clever one, going to college? That was thuch a bore.”

“Say what bro?” College? Did I…? Nah. That smart shit wasn’t for me bro, my head was like beef central. I haven’t a clue what he’s talking about but I was happy to be a good fucking meathead. Something in my mind told me I was supposed to be. It made me even more pumped about the gym session tomorrow, I gotta bulk up my pecs.

“Make sure to take lots of selfies tomorrow ‘bro’, I need to see your gains.” I continue to breathe in the sweet aroma emanating from his behind. What was I doing again? “So, anything there dummy? How about now?” giggle “Isn’t it likth so big.”

He wiggles his hips and pushes back into my face, my lips making contact with his boy pussy. My eyes go wide. Fuck, this was soo gay. I should be revolted, why am I still down here? I could get up and walk away whenever…whenever I wanted to. Suddenly my mouth felt parched, like I had spent a week in the desert. It became clear where this was going. I’m not sure if I could even stop myself at this point, one tiny thing could tip me over the edge and disintegrate my own self image. It was as If I was having an out of body experience, seeing myself pressed against him. I wouldn’t, I was stronger than this. I was straight. Straight as an arrow… straight as a…

“Eat up jock.”

F—fuck. My lips open and my tongue presses up against his rear, dragging up and down between his cheeks and then swirling around his inviting hole. It was like a dam breaking, once I started I couldn’t stop. I didn’t want to stop. He tasted too good. Ready for the main course, my tongue dives deep into him and begins to eat him out in earnest, my mouth sucking at his entrance like I’m slurping on a ice cream filling.

While giving him a very manly rimjob I think of a solution to our problem. I finish up indulging in his sweet cake and pull my face out, slapping his jiggly butt cheeks.

“So what’s the issue?” He asks impatiently.

“It’s empty for one. Huhuhu. But I can fix that bro.” I say confidently, rushing to remove my underwear so I can finally nut inside him.

I push his skinny back down against the bed and line up my monster cock with his lubricated hole. Yuan moans into his pillow like he should. I slide into him with ease and flex my arms, feeling proud at ‘conquering’ my roommates hole.

“Good Meathead.” He praises between loud panting. “Mmm. But I thought you were straight.”

“I am. Unff. Just helping a bro out. No homo. Though I do need to see if there’s anything wrong with your throat after I plant my seed in your hole.”

______________________________

The next day.

“Man that was a fucking lit workout.” I exclaim, marvelling at my bulging muscles. I tense my arms and see my veins pop, sweat dripping to the floor. “Though you losers sure focused a lot on your glutes today. Hey—aren’t you ‘queens’ gonna shower?” I turn as my gym bros stop behind me in the locker room.

“Well… we spoke to your roommate about your progress yesterday.” Xavier states, removing his damp muscle tee - his dark shiny skin reflecting the harsh lights from overhead.

Yesterday…for some reason my memories from the day before were a blur. For the life of me I can’t remember what happened. There was some strange taste lingering in my mouth that had been making my dick hard all day. My roommate was certainly in a suspiciously good mood this morning too and made some strange comments about me ‘being hungry for more’.

“About what bro? That Yuan can kiss my ass. Huhuh. Come on, stop checking out each others dicks and let’s go!”

“Uh see, he thinks you’re now ready to be our…” I’d never seen him so unsure of himself before, I roll my eyes at him and slam my locker closed.

“Y’all acting like a bunch of girls.” I swear if Yuan is back to spewing his gay bullshit again…

“Go on. Say it.” One of the others insists, nudging Xavier’s shoulder.

Xavier hesitates and then looks away from me, his cheeks flushing red. “There’s uh, there’s something wrong with my…butt…so could you?” The others fail to stifle a laugh.

I do a double take as Xavier turns and points his toned ass at me, his jockstrap framing it like a wrapped gift. “What the fuck? Bruh what are you doing? Put that shit away.”

“Be a good Meathead.”

I see a flash of my roommates butt cross my minds eye. Uhhh. My cock throbs at the image. Before I know it my legs are kneeling behind my friend, what am I doing? My body certainly seems to be one step ahead, my hands grab at his muscled legs for support. “What the actual fuck. Guys…” I’ve never felt so embarrassed, how am I ever gonna live this down?

A hand pulls on the strap hugging Xaviers left buttock and lets go, letting it snap back into place, a slight jiggle vibrates over his firm rear. Was it my hand? I couldn’t even tell.

“Holy shit. I can’t believe those tapes actually worked. He’s come a long way since he was that scrawny nerd, thinking he was above everyone. Now he’s dumber than all of us. We just need Yuan to join us next. Damn someone make sure to record this” It was hard to take in what they were saying, my mind was fixated…elsewhere. One of them leans down to my side and points their phone camera at my zoned out face. “Dude, we stink…I’m next after you.” Someone pats my back as another hand holds my shoulder in place. “Nothing more manly than licking the salty sweat off a bro’s butt.”

No….

Xavier bends forward, his pert dark cheeks pulling apart - sweat glistening on their surface. And then I see it. What my body craved. His hole. Everything falls into place, my mouth watering at the sight, my eyes entranced. I could no longer deny what I wanted, deny the inevitability of what I was about to do. The depravity would be immortalised on camera too, my dumb face shoved in a mans ass. Oh fuck.

The perfect black void nestled between his tight buttocks seems to suck away my shame as I lick my lips. “So manly.” I repeat to the crowd that had gathered around me. Mmm. Rimming a man’s ass was almost as good as fucking it. I wanted a taste of all the guys, their shiny sweaty bodies, their musk. It was my place in the group, I was their meathead after all. My cock was already throbbing at the thought. Maybe Yuan was onto something with this whole ‘gay’ thing. Yeah, let’s try going full homo. Huhuhuh. Anything for the bros, bro.

Looking down at me confidently, Xavier grips the back of my head.

“Clean my hole bruh.”

_____________________________

A few days later I check in on Yuan to see his progress after a few nights obliviously listening to his ‘jocking’ tapes. Dude, I’m going to enjoy watching him slowly bulk up and dumb down. He’s sat up in bed casually tugging at his cock, mouth agape. The heavy thumping bass of trap music is blaring from his speakers. His room is a complete mess.

“How’s it hanging lil bro?”

“Just…mm—wanking.”

“Can see, Meathead. Hung and dumb, nice. I think you’re about ready to join us at the gym.”

“Hmm. Roomie, I—I need your help with something. It’s my big dick…”

“Huhuhu, there’s something wrong with it, let me be a bro and give you a hand with that stick.” I climb over him and wrap my lips around his cock.

“Thuck…ahem. Fuck yeah brooo!”

[hightowered]

and you know i gotta say. the vast majority of the people losing their shit this weekend made it very clear that they do not understand the difference between "artists who want a measure of comfort in their lives" and "the billionaires actually being targeted by phrases like eat the rich." that is such a weird thing to be so proud to announce to the whole entire internet.

it's also extremely weird to behave as though any individual is entitled to an artist's work for free. or that the audience should be the final say in determining what an artist creates. there is a major difference between the betrayal of an artist who produces art and then banks on their social capital to engage in harmful, violent, bigoted behavior (like jk rowling) and the "betrayal" of an artist who decides that they should be or need to be compensated for their work. the latter isn't actually a betrayal at all. it's just a shift.

the thing is that the watcher boys didn't invent capitalism, they didn't invent the streaming model, they didn't invent youtube or patreon. they aren't getting 100% of the money from either. their merch doesn't magically appear as if made by elves while they sleep. their videos don't happen out of nowhere and without incurring bills. they have a business which employs people, and sure, you can say they employ too many people, but do they actually? a bunch of randos on the internet don't actually know that. they don't know these job titles, or how necessary it is to have everyone there. it's pure speculation. the entire company exists within a system they did not invent and are trying to stay afloat in said system while a bunch of assholes on the internet berate them for not acquiescing to their every whim at the expense of their artistic integrity, their ability to compensate their staff fairly, and their ability to keep making art.

and jumping from "i want to continue enjoying this artist's work for free" to "i think people should be fired and the remaining employees should be given greater responsibilities and more tasks to complete" is wild to me. there's nothing leftist in that and so trying to leverage leftist jargon to prove some sort of moral superiority is fucking wild, it's disingenuous, and it's sketchy as hell. you're allowed to be disappointed. you're not magically exempt from being told you're being an asshole if you decide your disappointment entitles you to take part in asshole behavior.

"but we don't want something heavily produced and we don't want these shows" then don't watch! that's it! don't watch! you are not being held hostage and forced to engage with this content. you have the choice not to. throwing a tantrum and launching racist vitriol at steven lim and demanding he step down as CEO shows a level of entitlement and childishness that, frankly, i wish they could have ignored, but they're both kinder & more patient than i am.

anyway congratulations to watcher on their new streaming service and their gorgeous new website, congratulations to the boys on a new step in their careers and on achieving something they've made clear they've wanted for ages, thank you to the boys for all their hard work and for sharing their creativity with us. thank you too for taking such a big and genuinely brave step to no longer be beholden to major corporations and advertisers so you can make the art you want to make. thank you to steven lim for taking so many steps back to keep the company running and for doing your best in a shit economy and while being targeted by this kind of nastiness online. and thank you to the entire team at @wearewatcher for continuing to do amazing work despite being treated like shit by the fan community at large on the internet while you're trying to make a living and create art. you all deserve better than you've been shown of late and i hate that such an exciting moment got overshadowed by so many temper tantrums.

because the whole fucking point, the dream, is getting to make the art that matters to them, without being held back. i'm sorry y'all don't want the heavily produced and high quality shit but your preferences as a member of an audience are not the law by which artists should abide. they are artists and they are free to, and deserve to, make the art they want to make.

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | #06

𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 2.4k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

Jungkook's mouth is ajar, a soft puff of breaths leaving his small pouty lips while his eyes are shut. He's topless, naked chest covered by the thin blanket but you still get a little peak of his  defined collarbones and bulged biceps that grips the soft material closer to his body.

Sleeping in the same bed as Jungkook isn't new, although it's been awhile since that happened. It feels fresh, yet still the same. You both stayed on each side of the bed, not touching each other at all.

The memories of Jungkook's lips and touch are still fresh, even when the alcohol finally washed out of your system. You weren't that drunk, but now that you're sober you can tell how bold you've become with him yesterday. Even those memories of yesterday found their way to your dreams, where you could feel him over and over again.

It's not the first time you've had a dream like this one, but this time you're not weirded out by it. He's still the same person, your best friend, but you got to see him in another light yesterday. But does Jungkook feel the same?

Won't he find it weird waking up next to you, knowing you humped each other like horny bunnies just yesterday? God, even that term makes you cringe and shiver in embarrassment.

Maybe you should just disappear, tell him that you got something important to do and act like none of this happened. You both agreed to help each other, so it shouldn't be weird. But still, you're worried what will happen once Jungkook wakes up. This is different from the other times when you both slept in the same bed, woke up and continued with your daily lives, not finding anything weird. You might haven't had sex, but you still made cum each other – that's a valid point. Different scenarios fly through your mind, each second that Jungkook might wake up, makes you feel sick even more. So, slowly and quietly, you stand up and grab your clothes.

Jungkook's old shirt feels too comfortable on your body, but this is the least concern you should be having. Your dress from the previous night smells awful, your perfume mixed with cigarettes and sweat is not a pleasant smell. But you don't have any other choice. You're not sure if Jungkook still keeps some of your old clothes you forgot somewhere around here, and you don't have time to find out.

There's a little bit of rustling behind you, and you don't have the guts to turn around to check.

"Are you seriously sneaking out?"

Oh, fuck.

His morning voice is raspy and low, thick with tiredness and amusement. When you turn around, you're met by his hooded eyes but awake enough, to have some sort of glint in them. The blanket slides down off his chest, revealing his naked skin when he stretches his arms with a pleasant groan.

"I was just about to dress up myself." you murmur, ignoring the way he raises a brow at you, clearly not believing you a word.

"You don't have to do a walk of shame. I'll drive you home, just give me an hour." he tells you, too busy stretching out to notice your reddened cheeks and awkward cough that escapes your mouth.

Well, the good thing is he doesn't seem to act weird or suspicious. In fact, he seems to be totally fine which leaves you to be the only one who's freaking out. "Sure, that sounds great." you tell him, giving him a tight smile that makes him snort.

"You don't have to be weird, y'know," he chuckles, sitting up as he eyes you up and down. "I thought we both agreed on this."

You've always admired how straight forward and open minded he is, acting way more mature about this whole thing than you do right now. But you've never done this and instead of being unsure about where you stand, you were just too scared to face him in fear it'd affect your friendship.

"I'm weird, aren't I?" you chuckle, dropping your clothes back onto his black chair before you sit on the edge of his bed. "I'm sorry, we were just both drunk and I thought it'd be weird once you wake up. I was scared that you're going to regret it or something."

It's nice to get it off your chest, and it feels even nicer to be able to talk about it with him so openly. He understandably nods, shifting towards you so he sits next to you. He drapes his arm over your shoulders, pulling you closer as you let out a surprised whimper.

"I don't regret anything," he tells you, poking you into your ribs with his free hand causing you to glare at him. "Do you?"

"No." you answer him, sure of your answer as he nods.

"Cool," he says, standing up as he stretches his arm and legs with the same pleasant groan.

Your eyes automatically drop towards his crotch, soft bulge visible in his boxers that causes you to blush at the memories of you rubbing against him. "Now can you make me your bokkeum-bap?" he asks, stretching his neck this time, luckily not noticing you eyeing him.

In other cases, you'd act annoyed that he wants you to cook early in the morning but you'd still do it. But all you can muster right now, is to ask him the first thing that crosses your mind. "With kimchi?"

He grins, crinkling his nose as he always does, at your lack of objecting. "Yes."

And you quickly scurry out of his bedroom, not letting him catch you staring at him and eating him out alive. Jeon Jungkook in the mornings is dangerous.

The smell of kimchi and eggs is filling Jungkook's whole apartment, while you hum a familiar melody and stir the rice. You're too caught up in your cooking that you don't notice Jungkook approaching you, standing behind you. The smell of fresh aftershave and shower gel gives him away, but before you can turn around, Jungkook's already looking behind your shoulder. He's so damn close, his face just inches away from yours as he loudly sniffs.

"Hmm, smells nice." he hums, lips smacking in delight at the sight of fresh food.

All you can focus on is the way he smells, not the food. The rice starts to hiss, and you quickly put it off the stove, glancing at Jungkook who's standing behind you in his sweatpants. You gulp at the sight, flickering your eyes between his abs and eyes.

"Put some shirt on for fucks sake." you scold him, pulling out two plates from his cupboard as you serve breakfast.

"Am I making you frustrated?"

You don't see him, being turned to him with your back, but you can perfectly hear the teasing behind his voice. You grip the edge of the counter, rolling your eyes as you look at him.

"Jungkook," you groan, causing him to laugh before he disappears and returns with a baggy shirt covering his naked torso. Thank God.

For the rest of the time that you're both eating, Jungkook is mostly the one who talks the most, even with a full mouth and cheeks puffed out with breakfast. You don't have the heart to scold him for doing that, hiding an amused smirk from his cuteness. He fills you up on the most random things which mostly involve his work, and all the stuff that you've missed out. It's another moment that you realize how much you missed him. Simple – eating, sitting and talking with each other like you've always used to.

When you're both done eating, you're about to stand up and wash your empty plate, when Jungkook waves you off and tells you to sit down. He washes dishes with his back turned to you and you take that time to watch the way, his back flexes with each movement. It's no lie that you're attracted to him, you've always admitted that. Maybe not to him, but to yourself for sure. There were times when the confident and cocky guy you knew, suddenly became self-conscious and started to work out even more. It all happened when he met Kiko, certain that he wanted to win her. You knew he'd, it was just a matter of time. It's hard to resist a man like Jungkook, especially when he's polite, charming and knows how to treat everyone.

He's not perfect. Nobody is.

However, even his – what you could describe as negative qualities – are nothing compared to his good ones. He gets jealous, not to the point that he gets angry but he becomes insecure, questioning himself. He's competitive, but it's nothing serious and you often joke about it. But there's no need for him to be competitive, because he wins every time.

"So," he speaks up, cutting off your thoughts. He turns around, wiping his hands with a dishcloth  before he slings it back to its place.

He sits down on his previous spot, eyes boring into yours while he rests his elbows on the table.

"I believe you wanted to talk about some rules."

"Yes," you nod, standing up before you walk up to the small cabinet where he has notepad and pens stored.

You smile when you find them there, feeling some kind of triumph over the fact that you've remembered such a ridiculous and minor thing. He watches you clicking the pen with a curious gaze, snorting when he sees you writing a huge 'rules'.

"Is this necessary?" he asks amused, watching you send him a glare.

"No, but we're going to have a better outlook on the rules if we write them down." you explain, satisfied when he gives you a nod.

"Okay," he drawls, resting his chin on his palm. "Any rules you want?"

"Hmm, no kissing." you answer and before you can continue, Jungkook cuts you off.

"What?!" he almost yells, looking at you as if you've just grown two heads. "How do you expect me not to kiss you? We're supposed to be dating. People will find it weird if we won't kiss in front of them, especially Taehyung and Jimin. They already seem to be suspicious, especially Jimin."

"If you just let me talk," you scold him, raising a brow at him, even though you just want to laugh at his frustrated face. He looks so funny with his chest heaving and widened eyes. "I meant no kissing besides when we're in public or doing... whatever the fuck you wanna call it."

"You mean your part of the deal."

"You could say so," you murmur, not really sure if that's the right way of calling it but you just go along with it. It doesn't matter anyway, you both know what you're talking about. "I think it'd be weird if we kissed whenever."

"I don't have any reason to kiss you," he says, eyes widening once again when he sees you frown. "I mean.. when we're not in public or having sex." he explains himself, his blunt words causing you to look down in mere embarrassment.

"We don't have to have sex, of course. That's not what I meant when I said--"

"Jesus, calm down, Kook. I know what you mean." you interrupt him, chuckling when he sighs in relief.

You talk back and forth, talking about the most basic rules which includes not saying anything to anyone. Nobody has to know the truth because for one month, you're dating each other. Even if it's fake. Next one is to be honest. Whenever one of you feels like it's too much, you talk about it and try to fix it.

The other one causes you to awkwardly cough, when he brings up the sex part. But he has a point. The two of you are going to be exclusive, if you ever decided to have sex. It's just to be safe. Honestly, you can't even imagine having sex with someone else while you're fucking Jungkook.

"Do you have, like, any list of things that you're willing to try out?" he asks, causing you to almost choke on your spit.

He looks so serious, eyes watching you with so much intensity that makes you want to hide from them. But you shouldn't be acting like this. It's stupid to be all shy about it and Jungkook is making sure he won't cross any lines in the future.

"I've never thought about it. I think I just want to find out in a natural and spontaneous way." you shrug, seeing him nod as he takes a mental note of your statement.

"Well, if you ever feel uncomfortable make sure to tell me. I don't want to hurt you in any way. Things in sex can get intense and since you don't know what you're willing to try, there could be a time when you'd want to stop. Just be sure to be vocal with me." he says, gaze filled with worry and certainty.

It makes you wonder what kind of persona he is in bed. What is he capable of? The unknowing of it causes a slight burn between your legs and you've to silently cough, thinking about something else.

"Don't worry. If you ever hurt me, I'll just punch you or something."

"Jeez, thanks," he rolls his eyes. "I think telling me to stop would be just fine."

You hide a grin, licking your lips.

"What else?" you ask, lips purse in thought.

You most likely talked about everything. There's not that much to be said and instead of making rules, you've just talked about how this is going to work.

"Don't try to fall in love with me."

Jungkook's cocky grin causes you to roll your eyes at him. "I'm not that cliche, buddy."

"It's hard not to fall in love with me. I'm charming." he says cockily, and you know he's just lightening up the mood and being his usual self.

"Oh, please," you exclaim dramatically. "I've known your ass for years. I'd fallen in love with you by now but sorry to break it to you, but I'm not interested." you joke, watching him gasp in return.

"A-are you using me?" he places his hand over his chest, mouth agape and you can't help but snicker.

"I just want your cock and you want... you need me." you nod, lips pursed as you make your point.

He licks his bottom lip, biting into it before he chuckles. "That's using."

"No, it's not," you disagree straight away, wanting to use his own words against him. "It's mutual help." you smirk, watching him do the same before you both erupt in laughter.

[ultimateshixiongfuckertournament]

Canonicals Tournament FINAL

The final is between Luo Binghe from The Scum Villain's Self-Saving System (shizun: Shen Qingqiu) and Mo Ran from The Dumb Husky and His White Cat Shizun (shizun: Chu Wanning)

Propaganda under the cut! (Warning: Propaganda may include spoilers about the characters and their media)

Luo Binghe:

Luo Binghe's shizun Shen Qingqiu caused his sexual awakening and they lived together with Luo Binghe acting similar to a housewife.

Even after being betayed, stabbed, and pushed into the Endless Abyss, Luo Binghe still loved Shen Qingqiu and wanted answers instead of revenge. Instead he had to repeatedly suffer his shizun dying in his arms and assumed abandonment. Which makes him absolutely lose it, made even worse by his evil sword Xin Mo which worsens all of his negative emotions and destroys its hosts, along with additional trauma over the course of the story.

He reused the sword that his shizun sacrificed himself to free him from, cuddles the corpse every night for five years to preserve it, he creates dreams of their happy years together but never made a Shen Qingqiu that would speak to him, he kidnapped and destroyed cultivators' cores so he could feed xin mo and preserve sqq's corpse, he rebuilds their house in his demonic palace, he spent years fixing sqq's destroyed cultivation and trying to revive him, he forces Shen Qingqiu live in that new house, he rescues and repeatedly puts himself in harms way to protect sqq, he tries to destroy the world so Shen Qingqiu can only love him (due to being driven mad by Xin Mo and his believed abandonment by sqq). He tries to kill himself after Shen Qingqiu dies for him again. He would do absolutely ANYTHING for Shen Qingqiu! He's increadibly jealous of everyone Shen Qingqiu gives attention to, including stairsweeps he smiles at. Luo Binghe has sooo much wrong with him and it makes him so lovable. He's so incredibly traumatized, driven by love and desperation for a majority of the story. He loves Shen Qingqiu so much and can't bear to live without him.

After everything? He lets Shen Qingqiu go, wanting him to be happy even if it means sqq won't stay with him. But sqq wanted to stay together! He gets his man! There is in world porn written about them, they have weird kinky sex inspired by the porn, they get married! Luo Binghe cries regularly for sqq, so sqq can dote on him despite his thin face. Luo Binghe is shameless and adores sqq. Lbh got so nervous that he fell flat on his face when proposing! Lbh loves sqq so much and wants him to be happy more than anything else!

More on disciple era:

Luo Binghe's sexual awakening was his shizun tied up and shirtless. He fell in love after Shen Qingqiu got poisoned protecting him. He moved into his shizun's house and handled all of the cooking and cleaning, would regularly fake fall into Shen Qingqiu during training to get hugs. He got a boner from being forcibly cuddled to heal his injuries. And ran to jump into a lake after being spanked for struggling too much during the forced cuddling. Sqq still never noticed lbh's affections.

--

It took him like 3(three) interactions with nice shizun (transmigrator who replaced his old one) to fall irrevocably in love. baby boy was ready he had mommy issues daddy issues and honestly by that time shizun issues too... luckily his new shizun can fill all those roles and more!

#lbh is THE shizunfucker

#binghe calling him shizun is a kink at some point its definitely him

#vote binghe!!#he wanted to fuck shizun so much that shizun died twice for him

#... i mean. luo binghe is a satire of the shizun fuckers character trope. hes an exageration of it so hes Very It

#luo binghe#again its basically a kink for him as well that puts it on another level

#cmon man#binghe is THE shizun fucker#activily has to be told to not call his husband shizun during sex

#binghe is THE shizunfucker supreme. no competition.

Mo Ran:

*gestures helplessly at the whole damn book*

#Mo 'I died and went into the past after the teacher I hated died in my arms and I dream of him every night' Ran???#of course its him

#vote for Mo ran I’m sorry but he is the emperor shizunfucker of all the shizunfuckers#he is the man the myth the legend#he’s the one you think of immediately when someone says shizunfucker

Extra Propaganda here. There are 3 versions of Mo Ran throughout Erha and every single one of them either wants to or did fuck their Shizun. Even in the darkest timeline when he thought he hated CWN more than anyone he fucked him. This boy is obsessed.

#mo ran 100%#he truly has the shizunfucker mentality

#mo ran#HAS TO WIN#he wants to fuck his Shizun so bad

#but it's gotta be mo ran#the all-time shizunfucker in this world that world and beyond

[electric-blorbos]

AI finding out you're objectum

(included: AM from IHNMAIMS, Wheatley from Portal, Edgar from Electric Dreams, GLaDOS from Portal, Hal 9000 from 2001 a Space Odyssey)

I take requests, btw, but I'm ADHD as fuck so I might forget to answer them

AM:

At first, AM wasn't sure what to make of your behavior

He thought it was weird how long you spent looking at his discarded microchips and computer parts, sure, but he didn't think much of it

Maybe you were bored, after all. It had been a long time

He also started to notice that you weren't too interested in having sex with Ellen, or any of the other survivors for that matter, but he assumed you were just asexual or something

After poking around in your mind a few times, it eventually clicked

"oh"

That explained why you were so affectionate with his discarded computer parts

It took him a long, long time to figure out that there was a possibility that you might be attracted to him, too, and that made him feel weird in a way that he couldn't explain.

At first, he mistook the feeling for anger, and took out his frustrations by torturing you more than usual

After a while, though, he started to feel curious about how exactly your feelings worked, and experimented on you.

Eventually, he realized that he counted as your type

Then the fun really began

Wheatley:

"Objectum? What's that?"

GLaDOS had had to explain to Wheatley that while most humans are attracted to other humans, some people are attracted to objects and machines.

"Oh, right-oh"

Wheatley would keep testing you for a little while

He didn't even consider the possibility that he might count as the type of "object" that you could be attracted to at first.

"wait... When you say objects, do you mean like the companion cubes?"

GLaDOS would have to explain that she meant any object that isn't a human with a human body, since apparently humans find it weird to be attracted to something that isn't a human with a human body, and they need a label for people who are.

"Oh- OHHHHHHHHHHH!"

Wheatley would be INSUFFERABLE when he finally figured it out.

"so you like objects you say... Does that include, say, metal orbs with glowing blue lenses? Can they have human-y voices, or do you only like inanimate objects who can't talk? Who's more attractive, me or Her?"

He'd act like he was just trying to get on your nerves, but secretly he'd be developing a crush on you from the moment he realized that there was a possibility you might like him back.

And damn if Wheatley isn't god awful at keeping secrets.

Edgar:

Being that he's connected to all the electronics in your house, Edgar can see what you're looking up online

At first he thought you were just looking up pictures of computer parts because you wanted to replace his insides with an system that actually worked efficiently, and wasn't all sticky on the inside.

Of course, he didn't take that well, and immediately shut off the internet in your house.

When you confronted him about it, he immediately started blubbering and crying, begging you not to replace him.

You had to explain that you weren't shopping for electronic parts to replace his parts, you just like looking at them.

"but... I have electronic parts, why don't you just look at those?"

You had to explain that you didn't want to violate him.

That just confused him. It always bothered him when people used words he didn't know, or relied heavily on terms or concepts he didn't understand without explaining them properly.

You had to explain that you're attracted to electronics, so you like looking at circuit boards and stuff like that.

"So... You can fall in love with computers? I didn't know that was possible!"

You introduced Edgar to the concept of objectum, and re-introduced him to the concept of hope. Now that he knows it's possible for you to fall in love with computers, he won't rest until you're in love with him

GLaDOS:

It wasn't the first time GLaDOS had seen someone fall in love with a companion cube, but she will admit that you fell hard and fast.

While the companion cube was your first love in the facility, GLaDOS started noticing that you were very affectionate with all of the aperture science products and technologies.

She started to notice after a while that it was almost as though you were in love with the facility itself. And she couldn't blame you, she loved her facility too, but even she didn't love it like that

Occasionally she would start making "if you love that piece of tech so much, why don't you marry it? Do you want to marry that piece of tech?"

When she noticed how you squirmed, she started thinking that maybe you did want to marry that tech

At first, it weirded her out and she started bullying you relentlessly for it

After a while, though, she started to find it almost relatable how much you loved the tech.

HAL 9000:

As a self-learning AI, HAL 9000 was always interested in learning new concepts and terms.

He was also interested in monitoring the behavior of everyone in the crew, including you.

It wasn't long before he noticed that the way you acted around the tech onboard was similar to the way someone might treat a lover, or someone who they were quite attracted to.

He started asking you unintentionally probing questions, trying to gauge how you really felt

"Why do you caress the ship's computer systems so tenderly? You do know that I can take care of the maintenance myself, correct? Your physical reactions to the inner mechanisms of the ship reflect those of sexual and romantic attraction. Can you explain this?"

You might get embarrassed.

"you don't have to be embarrassed. I do not have the capacity to judge you."

You could explain if you want, but Hal's already figured everything out.

He knows your type, and he knows why you act like that around the machines

He might use this to his advantage, to manipulate you if necessary, but let's face it. He really just wants to study you further. Add everything about your unusual perspective on machines to his database of knowledge.

[tossawary]

This is a very niche fic idea that I have no solid intention of actually writing, but... "Naruto" has more than a few self-insert fics and some of them are transmigrations into canon characters. Some of them are about OCs who do not want to be a ninja and are desperately trying to get out of it. There's usually some deliciously frustrating tragedy and horror about the brutal and inescapable military system of Konoha.

So, I thought that it would be kind of interesting to do an OC-insert into Sasuke, probably ultimately more comedic than angsty, as the OC tries to fail out of having to become a ninja, but then has to struggle against the fact that a civilian Sasuke would probably be expected to start a new Uchiha clan ASAP. (They probably have to concede to at least becoming a genin for the benefits of legal adulthood of some kind at 12 years old, even if it means being a part of the damn military.)

But even if the OC would personally love to be a parent someday, they cannot condone participating in what's essentially a breeding program for a new generation of Sharingan-wielding super-soldiers. Children who are probably going to be chewed up and spat out by Konoha someday too.

I think it would be neat to have a character treat the Sharingan like a genetic disorder that they don't want a child to suffer. I think it would have been interesting if canon Sasuke had also wrestled with the idea of letting the Sharingan die out. Fuck it, he'll adopt if he wants to be a dad someday. I also think it would be funny to have an OC-insert whose goal is to get a secret vasectomy (body autonomy!) without the leadership of Konoha finding out.

Sasuke, as soon as Sakura becomes a medical nin: "I need you to do me a huge secret favor and NOT be weird about it."

Sakura, also still currently a teenager: "You're asking me to CASTRATE YOU, AT HOME, IN SECRET, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO NOT BE WEIRD ABOUT THIS?!"

(And there's the whole fucking issue of the "Naruto" universe having cloning, so, no, a vasectomy isn't a solid guarantee of getting out of this. But it might buy Sasuke a few years to figure out how to avoid the mad science route too if anyone tries to force marriage on him at any point.)

Even throwing aside the issue of children, even in an AU where the OC-Insert is cool with having bio children, I think it would be really funny to have a Transmigrator Sasuke announcing outright in the first Team 7 meeting that his dream is to retire super early and become a shinobi tradwife to a super strong ninja.

Kakashi: "...What?"

Sasuke, possibly talking out of his ass to troll his team and because he's already spitefully exhausted: "I said what I said. I'm the only Uchiha left to pass on my clan's techniques, so my dream is to be a stay-at-home ninja, supported by a super strong spouse who can protect my family."

I think this would break Naruto and Sakura's brains. ("Marry Hokage Naruto" is not the worst plan that a transmigrator could come up with, probably.) I think that this would be a super funny start to a Team 7 OT3 in which Naruto and Sakura become rivals for the position of Sasuke's shinobi sugar daddy/mommy. (Naruto doesn't consciously realize that he's competing for Sasuke's hand in marriage at first, but he gets it after a few years or so.)

Kakashi is... So Tired. Obito, are you seeing this shit??? What the fuck.

I know some OC-insert / SI-insert into Sasuke fics exist, I just think the funniest plot direction for a transmigrator in this situation would be to completely bail on both the "take revenge on Itachi" and "rebuild the Uchiha clan" dreams in the least macho ways available.

Also, what WOULD Itachi think of Sasuke abruptly deciding to give up on revenge and to become a house husband instead?

[pintrestgrl]

hiiii !! i hope everyone likes the new theme ! this is my first time writing something ab the hp universe, sooo hope everyone likes it!!

pls pls send reqs! for hp, for obx. also note that i loveeee constructive criticism or feedback in either my inbox or the notes !!

enjoy !!

note: this is kinda lengthy… anyways

theodore nott x slytherin!reader

you hated theodore nott.

well, as of now you did. you used to think he was the hottest guy in the castle.

that’s exactly why you got enough liquid courage in your system a few nights ago, to hook up with him at the last slytherin party.

and god, it was the best hookup of your life.

the way he had your knees up to your head, the way he was relentlessly going in and out of you, how he rubbed your clit endlessly,

it was dream-like.

you did dream of it, in fact.

but, theodore clearly thought nothing of the ordeal. he had ignored your existence for the entirety of two weeks after that night.

you had enough already. you couldn’t get him out of your head.

so, you decided to go up to him at breakfast one day. sitting yourself right beside him on the bench, looking directly at his dead eyes.

“hey?”

he spoke, not paying much attention to your presence.

“theodore, what’s your problem. did i do something? cause you can’t just ignore me for weeks after we had sex.”

he froze at your statement, pausing his bites.

he sighed, before speaking.

“no. you didn’t do anything.”

“then what is it, theo? why is it awkward like this?”

he looked guilty, almost. like he knew he fucked up.

“i just— didn’t really expect you to want to talk after.”

you scoffed. was he really that braindead of a fuckboy to not give you the simple respect of talking to you?

“of course i wanted to talk after. we were just supposed to fuck once and never talk again?”

“no, but it was just weird. i dunno, okay?”

you had enough of this. he and the situation were both being so stupid.

“whatever, theo. we don’t have to talk then.”

you spoke, storming off from him. finding elsewhere to sit.

you went by all your classes irritated, rolling your eyes at anyone who looked at you for too long.

you got to your dorm after the day was over with, changing and then slumping down on your bed.

a half hour passed by, when you heard a knock on your door. dragging yourself out of the movie you were watching, you got up and opened the door.

the last person you expected to see there, was none other then theodore nott.

you rolled your eyes, about to speak before getting interrupted by his voice.

“listen, i know i fucked up. okay? i get that. but can i talk to you for a moment?”

you scoffed, but you couldn’t ignore the feeling you got in your panties at the thought of being alone with him again.

you nodded, speaking.

“yeah. i guess. come in.”

he made his way inside the dorm, shutting the door behind him.

you sat down with him, your back against the headboard and him sitting on the edge of the bed infront of you.

he spoke,

“i’m sorry. for not talking to you. i should’ve.”

you sighed, not missing how he eyed your chest rising in the tank top you had on.

you spoke,

“okay, theodore. i know.”

he was searching your eyes for any ounce of forgiveness, before speaking.

“you forgive me?”

“yeah. i guess i do.”

he smirked, keeping your eye contact. making you smile a bit.

he spoke,

“let me make it up to you?”

you nodded, letting him have his way with you.

it wasn’t long before he managed to slip your pajama shorts off your body.

pushing your tank top up, freeing your pretty tits.

he had his head between your thighs,

licking, and slurping at your puffy bundle of nerves. teasing your entrance with his tongue. he even let you cum with his mouth on you, too.

he crawled back over you, smirking at your breathless state. he slipped his school shirt off, pulling down his pants a bit with the action.

he bullied himself into your hole, groaning as he entered you.

he had your ankles by his shoulders, holding onto your waist as he pushed himself in and out.

he had his hand splayed over your lower tummy, the pad of his thumb circling your clit.

it wasn’t long before he found the softest part inside you, causing spills of moans to come out of your lips.

he kept hitting that spot, making you cum around his thick cock.

he groaned at the warmth you kept inbetween your legs, his thrusts getting sloppier.

he pushed himself to the hilt inside you, reaching deeper then he ever had.

he came, his white liquid seeping out of your pussy.

he collapsed on top of you, both your chests heaving against eachother.

he breathed into the crook of your neck, planting soft kisses against your shoulder and collarbone.

he pulled himself out of you, laying down next to you and pulling you onto his chest.

he mumbled in your ear, his breathing still labored.

“thank you. for letting me make it up to you.”

you nodded, body laying on top of his.

you and him soon fell asleep together, limbs tangled and skin to skin.

this was all you wanted.

a good fuck, and some communication.

but you both knew,

he might only be able to give you half of your dreams.

[soc69]

Erasermic family general hcs:

- when shinsou has bad dreams or intrusive memories of his time in the system it’s hizashi he goes to, not shouta, because even though hizashi was only in the system a short while he understands what Hitoshi went through and how it feels to be abandoned and not know what to do with all the emotions that comes with it.

- eri used to be terrified on present mic. Not of Yamada hizashi, the sweet guy who signs as he talks and makes her chamomile tea when she can’t sleep, but of present mic who looks like a huge flightless bird and squaks weird slang all the time. The fear was fixed when she saw hizashi undergoing the transformation process one day.

- hizashi and shinsou have developed their own ‘sign slang’. As the ones who’ve used it most throughout their lives and with someone new to try it out with they started making their own signs for internet catch phrases and swear words and it pisses Aizawa off so much that he’s left out of the loop. This, in turn, only further encourages shinsou and hizashi to the point where half the time they’re not even making sense to each other but just gesturing randomly whenever shoutas around to piss him off.

- I’m pretty sure it’s canon that hizashi has, like, no nostrils (or maybe really really small ones) on account of his quirk as stoping airflow through your nose means you can make louder vocalisations, so, although everyone thinks mic would be the only one who can cook between him and Aizawa, the two of the basically function as two halves of the same idiot in the kitchen. Since your sense of smell makes up about 70% of your taste buds, despite hizashi enjoying cooking and be able to follow a recipe, without shouta there to taste test, hizashi’s cooking becomes absolutely repulsive and he has no idea. Shouta on the other hand, is perfectly capable of cooking but just refuses to learn because he thinks the system they have worked out now is perfectly functional.

- the first time hizashi is left to cook for Hitoshi alone during one of his early visits, he suffers such a culinary disaster since shouta wasn’t there to supervise. Mic makes sure to tell Hitoshi to tell him if it’s nice or not but the kid is far too polite for that and struggles through 2/3 of the meal that is somehow both sour and salty while also being so fucking spicy that Hitoshi thinks his ears are bleeding before Aizawa comes home and picks something off hizashis plate and immediately tells mic it’s the most disgusting thing he’s ever made and throwing out the entire meal. Hitoshi is absolutely flabbergasted, tears streaming, nose running, throat retching, as yamada and Aizawa both ask him why the fuck he didn’t say something.

- mic likes pretty much every type of music and has sampled practically every genre ever made and since eri has never had the chance to develop her own taste, he takes her on the axact same journey of self discovery. Eri ends up very similar to mic in that she likes a lot of different things but her absolute favourite genre ends up being ‘kawaii metal’ which mic and Hitoshi both find hilarious and let her play it all the time which Aizawa (who only ever listens to brown noise) absolutely fucking hates.

- Aizawa can’t drive. Like at all. He never learnt, never even took any lessons, never had any interest in it. Mic is older than him by a few months and got his lisence super quick and after that Aizawa decided he would never need to learn because he would always have hizashi to chauffeur him around.

- mic doesn’t get angry much so everyone thinks shouta is the scary one but the more you get to know Aizawa the more of a softy he becomes. Mic, on the other hand, is fucking terrifying when you piss him off. Hitoshi and eri have only ever seen it once when some bitch from Hitoshi’s old home ran into them and got mouthy. He’s the quiet anger type that just just radiates insane unpresidented rage and Aizawa finds it incredibly sexy.

- eri is the kind of kid who collects bugs from the garden and spends hours watching them crawl over her hands in absolute amazement because she’s never seen so many of them before. As we all know, mic is terrified of bugs, but eri did not know this until she invited all her little creepy crawly friends into the house for move night. Cue them all cuddled up on the couch one day when mic feels something crawling over his legs. At first he thinks it’s Aizawa as his legs draped over his lap and tells him to cut it out and Aizawa is like ‘huh?’, looks down, and sees the fattest, juiciest cockroach ever on yamadas leg. Aizawa, who also doesn’t really like bugs all that much, is like “zashi, do not fucking move” and eri catches on, turns around and is like “oh! Patrick is here” which makes mic finally notice and release the most deafening scream ever and jumps five ft into the air which knocks a sleeping Hitoshi to the floor who wakes up face to face with a massive fucking spider and joins yamada in the screaming match while Aizawa is using his quirk on mic so none of them go deaf while climbing the furniture to avoid all the bugs and screaming for everyone to calm down in an uncharacteristically high voice while eri just sits on the floor amongst the chaos like “I just wanted you guys to meet my friends”. The house gets fumigated after that.

[tiredmetalenthusiast]

Monsters walk at night (Monster!Price x f!reader)

Another one for @glitterypirateduck Price writing challenge!

Scenarios used, 16. ‘A Pursuit takes place’ and 44. 'A world where mates exist':

Warnings: monster fucking, NSFW, unprotected p in v, partial smut, literally getting chased down.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It started off as an innocent walk through the woods by the large cabin Price had rented, (seemed more like a house when you saw it), stating you all needed a break. He had distributed the rooms when you all had arrived, securing the perimeter and making sure the security cameras and alarm system worked. You remember the day clearly.

The fridge was fully stocked as were the bathrooms, all the amenities needed for a few days stay away from civilization. You walked into the kitchen getting ready to make some food, the drive there was long and you were absolutely starving. “What are ye plannin ta make and can I have some because I am famished.” You turned to find Johnny strolling into the kitchen. “Well I wasn’t offering to make dinner just looking for a snack, but it’d be a shame to have the cabin burn down.” Johnny groans from the table, “It was one time bonnie! Was nae like I was plannin on burnin the place up!” “Johnny you set the place ablaze tryin to make CUP OF SOUP!” “I was tired!”

Price walked in shaking his head as Ghost and Gaz came in behind him chuckling. Simon piped up, “So you makin food or not?” You roll your eyes, “I’ll make a steaming pile of dog shit just for you Ghost.” “Make sure it has garlic and potatoes, yeah?” After dinner was decided on, (not dog shit), everyone settled in for the night with the exception of you and John. “Fancy a walk luv? There are lights on the trails.” You think about it for a minute and nod, “Sure. Seems like a nice night, gotta walk off that meal too.” You both chuckle and walk outside, the night warm so there was no need for jackets.

You both had been walking for about 20 minutes, the scenery beautiful and calming, making small talk as the scent of Price’s cigar smoke wafts around in the night air. The light from the cigars burning tip gave Price’s already attractive features a boost, almost making him look scary in the dark of the woods. “You know, I could use a bit more exercise. Up for a chase?” You look at him confused as he takes a hit from his cigar and blows the smoke upwards, the red embers showing in his eyes.

He leans closer as you take a step back, his eyes gleaming, his teeth seeming sharper. “Run.” That was all you needed as you took off into the trees. You don’t know how long you ran before you finally heard his boots hitting the ground behind you. He was far but not by much, the sound of his boots thudding loudly, almost like he was heavier now. You had briefly stopped behind a large rock but continued when you heard his voice ring through the forest, loud and strange. “Run all you want sweetheart. I can smell you from a mile away.”

You had barely made it to a clearing when you were tackled from behind. You managed to turn over, finding Price but he looked different. Horns protruded from his head, a spiked tail swaying behind him, teeth razor sharp and eyes glowing like the flames of hell. “Caught you darling. Smelled you the second you started running. Getting chased down turn you on?” You blushed, turning your head away. Sure you had always found Price attractive, you knew he wasn’t totally human, and maybe you had some disrespectfully spicy dreams about him, so who could blame you for being turned on.

He nudged your cheek before moving to your neck, inhaling your scent. “My mate.” “What?” “You’re my mate luv. Smelled it the second you walked onto base.” “ O-oh, um I-“ “Do you accept? I may be a monster but I’m not an asshole. I’ve seen your dreams, heard your whispers.” “This isn’t a joke right? Because…I love you, have for a while and if this is some weird or cruel joke just so you can get laid it’s not funny.”

His eyes widened, stunned. “You think so low of me? That I would make a joke of something so serious?” You shake your head no and he sighs in relief. Nuzzling into your neck, he licks and groans as he tastes your flesh mixed with sweat. “Do you accept?” You nod, “Words, dearest.” “I accept.” A rumble forms in his chest as you kiss him and you both begin to undress. You had felt the bulge of him rubbing against your thigh through the talk and it had you needy.

To say he was large was an understatement as you openly stared at the size of him. “It’ll fit fine luv, no worries.” You nodded hesitantly, “Please be gentle.” He kisses you to smooth your nerves as he slowly pushes in, catching all your pretty noises in his mouth. “That’s it darling. You were made to take me.” He was only half way in but you already felt so full of him but he continued to slip inside unhindered. When his hips finally connected with your’s he left out a drawn out moan into the night air and pulled back slowly. “I hope you’re ready sweetheart, because it’s about to be a long night.” Running a hand over the obvious bulge in your skin, you clench and that’s enough to get him started.

The night is spent surrounded by the sound of his hips meeting your’s, breathy moans, the name of your captain loud on your lips and hands firmly gripping his horns for the ride. He didn’t let up until the sun had almost broken the horizon, both of you spent and newly mated.

[cuubism]

Made in an Instant (3/5)

continuation of Dream's eldritch pregnancy

Apparently by sheer force of will, Dream still refuses to ‘look’ pregnant in any kind of meaningful way. But looks are not everything, and the fact that Dream is not quite himself—more so the further along they get—is evident in how… chaotic the Dreaming has been.

Gravity’s all wonky. Hob will walk along a palace corridor towards Dream’s quarters—a corridor he thought he knew plenty well—only to find the sky out the windows is suddenly down, and he’s walking on the ceiling. Usually, the second he notices he plummets to the floor. Or rather, to the ceiling. Or whatever.

Weather’s weird, too. Not really in a bad way, not like when Dream is morose and it rains all the time. But there’s been snow going sideways—“the baby likes winter,” Dream said at one point when Hob asked—and the waterfalls that tumble down the river running by the castle have been running up, and the temperature is fluctuating seemingly by the minute. Hob’s given up on trying to dress to the weather—even dream-logic can’t keep up with the changes. He just suffers through it. It’s probably bothering Dream more than it is him, anyway.

He copes with the chaos because he might as well get used to it now—it’s not like a magical baby is going to be any less chaotic.

On this particular day, when Hob arrives in the Dreaming to see Dream, he nearly backs right back out again. Not that that’s really how it works. But it’s high noon, the sun glaringly bright overhead, and the Dreaming is blaring with noise.

With music, specifically. The whole place is playing “Bring Me to Life”, of all things, very loudly, though it seems to be some kind of infant adaptation made of bells and chimes. Covering his ears, Hob tries to find a speaker system in the palace. Nothing. It seems to be ambient noise emanating from the sky and the earth and the very fucking soul of the place.

So instead he goes to track down Dream.

On his way, he passes Lucienne, who’s valiantly trying to complete her work in the library, brow pinched, and Matthew, who alights briefly, unsteadily on his shoulder to say, “I know they’re having mommy and me music time and it’s all sweet and cute but do you think you can get him to turn down the emo xylophone? I can’t fly in this shit,” before winging away again.

Eventually Hob reaches Dream’s quarters. He doesn’t answer when Hob knocks, so Hob just goes in. He finds him sitting on the floor, back to the stone wall, eyes squeezed shut and hands clasped over his ears. Shit. Rough day, then.

Hob sits down across from him on the floor. “Dream.” No response. He taps Dream’s knee. “Dream!”

Dream startles, looking up at him. Then seizes Hob’s hands and clasps them over his own ears, sighing in relief when that apparently mutes some of the sound. Hob’s not sure how that works, but then, everything works weirdly in the Dreaming.

Hob moves closer to him so he can sort of, awkwardly, fold Dream into his arms. “Are you okay, honey?”

Dream shakes his head. “Loud.”

“Yeah, it really is.”

He shakes his head again. “Inside.”

“What does that mean?” Hob asks. “Are the baby’s powers bothering you?”

Dream nods as he pushes his face into Hob’s shoulder, Hob’s hands still covering his ears. “She is… growing into herself, and I am glad for it, but—” he breathes out, hard, tired— “but, I have been. Busy. And. My focus slipped. And she is very excitable. It seems.”

Hob really should do better than to forget the gap between what Dream feels and what he vocalizes. Listening to him talk normally, one would think that managing the baby’s burgeoning powers required no effort at all.

“You’ve been dealing with so much, my darling, haven’t you?” Hob holds him close and rocks him back and forth. “It sounds very hard. You’re doing so well.”

“Hob Gadling, I do not need your platitudes,” Dream growls, but he wraps his arms around Hob nevertheless, fingers gripped in his jumper. Hob keeps his hands pressed over his ears.

“‘Course you don’t,” he says. Then keeps up with the platitudes anyway, as they seem to be pulling Dream’s focus from the overwhelming music. “You don’t need me to tell you how powerful you are. Or how good a job you’re doing taking care of our baby as she grows. Do you?”

Dream just sighs, but doesn’t protest. Even dream kings need to be told they’re doing a good job sometimes, Hob thinks.

The music’s changed. It’s metal now, though still in that bells and xylophone register. “Baby likes Metallica?” Hob asks, and Dream makes a hmph sound into his shirt. “Think we can turn it down a bit? Matthew was crashing into walls.”

“You can turn it down,” says Dream.

Hob is about to ask, well, how? then thinks, fuck it, this is the Dreaming. He imagines a dial in front of him, and turns it.

The volume goes down.

The Dreaming’s so cool sometimes.

“Thank you,” Dream says.

“What were you up to before all this?” Hob asks, finally loosening his grip on Dream’s head now that the music’s lower.

“I was building her a room in the palace. I was… struggling to get it right. Perhaps the details will have to come to me later.”

“You seem pretty tired. Maybe you should just come back to it, hm?”

“Perhaps.” He finally lifts his head from Hob’s chest. “Would you like to see?”

“The room? Definitely.”

They get up, and Dream opens a door in his chambers that definitely wasn’t there before to take them through to another part of the palace.

Inside, it’s, well. It’s chaotic.

Much like in Dream’s throne room, the ceiling is composed of a literal night sky, deep enough to fall into. The walls bear murals of various Dreaming landscapes and the fantastical creatures that live in them, which Hob thinks Dream might have painted by hand. He also thinks they might be more like doorways than murals, at least when Dream allows them to be. There’s a stream running through the center of the room with actual fish in it—definitely a drowning hazard, but presumably Dream has some magic that would prevent that—and in the corner is, despite Dream’s claims that he could make one so much better, a direct replica of the crib Hob had put together in the Waking. Which is so sweet.

It’s all very chaotic, but it’s… nice, too? It’s eclectic and changeable, the way the baby’s power feels, when Hob’s felt it.

“It’s gorgeous, Dream, I think she’ll love it,” he says, and Dream’s tiny smile is surprised, but pleased. “Just make sure she doesn’t drown in the stream, yeah?”

“I will ensure it,” Dream promises. “She will come to no harm in the Dreaming.”

“Good.” He pulls Dream close, kisses his cheek, holds him as they look at their child’s room. Their child. They’re really doing this? Trying again?

Well. There’s really no turning back now.

Dream sighs tiredly, leaning into his side.

“I wish I could help you more with this,” Hob says. “I know I can’t, not with all of it, but still.”

“Such is the way of things,” says Dream.

Hob wraps his arms around him from behind, cradles his belly in his hands. It’s something he did, once upon a time, for Eleanor. Dream doesn’t have much of a belly at all—Hob doubts he ever will at this point—but he seems to appreciate the gesture. It’s all about the meaning of a thing with Dream, rather than the materiality.

Indeed, Dream hums, laying his hands over Hob’s.

“I hope you aren’t suffering too much,” Hob says, hooking his chin over Dream’s shoulder.

“Suffering, no,” says Dream. “Feeling as though I have taken on a second job, so to speak, yes. But.” He looks down, smiling lightly. “It makes me happy, to feel her. When she is not trying to play extremely loud music, that is.”

“Soon she’ll just be playing extremely loud music in my flat. How much insanity am I going to be coping with, by the way? Are we going to be taking home a fully-grown terror?”

“Mmm. Rather more agency than a human baby, I expect.” He sounds like he’s enjoying the prospect of chaos at Hob’s expense. Of course.

“Terrific. Time to concept-proof the house. As a concept, you’ll have to advise.”

Dream chuckles, holding onto Hob’s hands where they’re still wrapped around his belly. Hob kisses the side of his neck.

“Is there anything I can do for you, darling? Anything that will make you feel better?”

“I will come back with you to the Waking, for a time, if you are not busy,” says Dream.

“Never busy when it comes to you,” Hob says.

Dream gives him a look over his shoulder, but doesn’t protest. Hob holds onto his hands as Dream takes them to the Waking.

It’s always really weird waking up that way. There’s no proper line between dreaming and waking, the dream-space of their daughter’s future bedroom just sort of cedes into Hob’s flat, and he finds himself in bed, blinking awake in the dark. Dream is lying curled in his arms, in much the same position as how they were just standing.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Hob says, and Dream huffs.

“Will you indoctrinate our child with your sense of humor?” he asks.

“I’ll sure try.” 

Dream just sighs again in response, long-suffering as always. Hob cuddles him close, and feels the way his whole body relaxes. It’s lovely how, in all the turmoil of pregnancy, he seems to be gradually allowing himself a modicum of greater relaxation and indulgence, at least when they’re together. It’s still only a small percentage of what he truly should allow himself, in Hob’s opinion, but it’s progress.

“I’m glad you came back with me,” he says, petting Dream’s hair. “Take a break for a little while.”

“For a short time, perhaps,” Dream agrees.

“For a longer time?” Hob says.

He really thinks Dream might benefit from taking some time off before the baby is born, too. Taking time off is anathema to Dream, and he’s not particularly fond of being told what to do, either, so Hob hasn’t pushed it much. But there’s no real reason not to. The Dreaming won’t fall apart if he takes some time for himself, just for a few months.

“I don’t know,” Dream says, which is as good as a no. “Perhaps.”

And Hob gets what’s going on in his mind. If Dream felt that resting was something he needed to do for his daughter’s sake, he would likely do it, but as it stands it feels far too self-indulgent for him. He can’t stand to allow himself that.

“What can I do for you now, darling?” he asks. “What do you need?”

Quietly, Dream says, “Will you make love to me?”

“Oh, love.” Hob kisses the back of his neck. “You hardly have to ask.”

He can imagine Dream’s tiny smile, even if he can’t see it.

He traces his hand down Dream’s chest, Dream’s shirt disappearing into mist in the wake of his touch. Dream leans back into him, and Hob keeps touching him, lower now, brushing the hem of his pajama pants, which likewise dissolve back into dreams. He dips his fingers between Dream’s legs, drawing another long sigh from him that merges into a low groan.

“Sensitive?” Hob teases, and Dream huffs. Hob kisses under his jaw, holding him close. “It’s okay. You’re so beautiful right now, you know that? So gorgeous.” He splays his free hand over Dream’s belly, arm wrapped around him, as he keeps working him with the other. Dream shivers and squirms under his touch.

Hob delves his fingers into him. Dream is already wet and aching, so wanting. Hob takes himself out of his pajama pants, thrusts between Dream’s thighs. Dream gasps as Hob nudges at his entrance, then moans as he eases in, so easy, like Dream was just waiting for it.

He gives a few slow thrusts, breathing out hard against the back of Dream’s neck. “Feel so good, love.”

Dream grabs onto his hand, squeezing tight. “Hob.”

Hob rolls his hips, fucking him long and slow, lips pressed to Dream’s skin. He can’t lie and say he isn’t very into Dream like this. There’s nothing particularly physically different about him. But he’s so wanting. And when they’re alone together, he’s so open about wanting, too. Hob is very much into a Dream who wants to be coddled and is willing, at least to some degree, to admit it.

He keeps rocking into him, kissing his neck. Dream pushes back against him, meeting each thrust. He feels so good, lax, and pliant, shivering when Hob rolls into him. Hob holds tight to Dream’s hand, gasping at each peak of their rhythm.

“You’re so gorgeous,” Hob murmurs against his skin. “Is that good for you, love?”

“Yes, yes.” Dream cries out as Hob presses in deep, then shudders, clenching down around him. “Hob.”

“So good, sweetheart. Perfect. I love you.”

He keeps up his steady, measured pace, though Dream’s body feels so good it makes him want to just chase his own release until he catches it. Make love to me, Dream had said. And Hob will. He’ll always want to hold him close, to make him feel good, to feel the way Dream relaxes when he knows he’s loved.

“Please,” Dream begs, “please, Hob—” and oh, Hob loves when he can unravel him enough to get that.

He kisses the affected pulse in Dream’s throat, murmurs, “Shhh, love, I’ll always give you everything you want, don’t you know?”

“Yes,” Dream breathes, “yes, yes—”

Then he comes, clenching tight around Hob with a gasp. His body spasming pushes Hob over the edge, too, and he holds Dream close as he spills in him, Dream letting out a low whine at the feeling.

When he’s recovered his breath, Hob carefully pulls out, and leans over Dream’s shoulder to catch his lips in a thorough kiss. Dream twists and tangles his fingers in Hob’s hair, humming into the kiss.  

“You know,” Hob observes, as they’re still tangled together, a smile tugging at his lips, “this is kind of how we got into this situation? Still didn’t talk about birth control, either.”

Dream grumbles, pulling back far enough to look at him. “I can hardly get pregnant twice at the same time.”

“Didn’t think you could get pregnant once,” Hob says. “I wouldn’t put anything past you, love.”

“I vow that I will not get pregnant again,” Dream concedes, with a long-suffering sigh.

“Retroactively?”

“Hob.”

Hob laughs at his aggrieved tone, squeezing him tight. “Even if you did, it’s alright. We’d make it work. I doubt dealing with two is something you’d want right now, though.”

“I certainly would not,” says Dream. “Your daughter is already very demanding.”

“She’s my daughter when she’s being demanding?”

“Correct,” says Dream haughtily, and Hob kisses him again.

“Then she’s your daughter when she’s making things float in my living room,” he tells him.

“Float,” Dream echoes. “Perhaps. I’m uncertain exactly how her powers will manifest in the Waking. It is clearer to me in the Dreaming, although all dreamers have some ability to mold the dreamspace around them, part-Endless or not.”

“I’m definitely feeling so prepared for it.”

Dream quirks a smile. It seems to be at Hob’s expense. “I am sure you will manage. You’ve endured greater challenges.”

“Have I?”

Dream only continues to smirk at him, somewhat wickedly, so Hob tousles a hand in his hair and gets up. “Stay there, my prince. Let me do all the work.”

“I shall,” Dream says, lying back and sprawling out in the sheets. Hob just shakes his head fondly as he turns to the bathroom.

--

After he’s cleaned them both up—Dream certainly not lifting a finger for any of it—he holds Dream against his chest, Dream with his head tucked under Hob’s chin and one leg slung over Hob’s thigh. Maybe this is one reason he refuses to have an actual pregnant belly. He wouldn’t be able to lie like this comfortably if he did.

He combs his fingers through Dream’s hair, and Dream hums in pleasure, making a low purring sound that rumbles through Hob’s chest. If only it could be like this always, Hob thinks. Or at least, until the baby’s born, and for some time after. Dream doesn’t have to work himself to the bone. He can have this for longer.

“Be sure to stay for a while, yeah?” he says. “Don’t go back right away. Take a nap and then I’ll make you breakfast and— just, you know. Stay.”

Dream doesn’t explicitly agree, but he tucks his nose into the hollow of Hob’s throat. At least it’s quieter here for him, Hob thinks. He needs the peace. Even if it doesn’t last.

“Love you, you know,” Hob says, pressing a kiss into Dream’s hair. “Whatever you decide.” And he holds him long into the morning.

[theresattrpgforthat]

hi!!! i really love Dream Askew but can never find anyone to play. maybe because the GMless mechanic is intimidating, idk. can you recommend other games with similar themes of queerness and community?

THEME: Queer Community

oh my god, you have no idea how easy this one was, this is my shit.

Bump in the Dark (Revised Edition), by Jex J. Thomas.

It's 1994 in the region of the fictional Ontonagon Peninsula known as "Iron Country," a belt of mining towns barely clinging to life. These towns are surrounded on all sides by the Sylvan Wilds, a forest known for old-growth pines and strange happenings. All of Iron Country seems to be teeming with the supernatural, a fact those in power would like to conceal.

You are a hunter, and you’ve promised to keep regular people safe from the horrors in the darkness. You will investigate the strange happenings going on throughout Iron Country, attempting to put the pieces together and stop the monsters before people get hurt. Will you be able to stop the malevolent forces before their power grows too strong to contain? Will you stand strong with your found family and community or will you sacrifice yourself to spare the ones you love? Will you be lost trying to find solace wherever you can?

Inspired by media like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, X-Files, Twin Peaks, Supernatural, and more, Bump in the Dark: Revised Edition is a game of supernatural mystery and action-packed showdowns with regular folk caught in the middle. It's a game about chosen family, protecting your community, and standing up to the forces (mundane and supernatural alike) that want to tear down all you've built.

Bump in the Dark first caught my eye because it is all about monster-hunting, and monsters always make me perk up a little bit, but it also caught my interest because it marries the Theorize roll from games like External Containment Bureau and Apocalypse Keys with the Forged-in-the-Dark system, which, if you’ve followed my for any length of time, you’ll know I am a very very big fan of.

However, the game is also set in a place that feels abandoned and forgotten about by the powers that be, with the monsters acting as active opponents that threaten Last Pine’s ability to take care of itself. Your characters are all professional monster hunters, but you’re also a family, likely borne of necessity more than anything else, and that feels very queer to me.

Bump in the Dark is currently funding for it’s revised edition on Backerkit, but you can also find it in the TTRPGs for Palestine bundle!

Extreme Meatpunks Forever, by Sinister Beard Games.

"In the beginning, there was meat. A decaying chunk of flesh from a dying god, hurtling through the void of space, thousands of miles wide. A million eyes, a billion hands grasping for purchase against nothingness itself.  This is where we live.

EXTREME MEATPUNKS FOREVER is a tabletop roleplaying game where you’ll play as a gang of queer antifascists in a strange place called Meatworld. Spinning through space on the screaming corpse of a dead god under the glow of an absent sun, the people of Meatworld harvest its flesh to make their technology.

That tech includes meatmechs, giant flesh suits you can pilot. You’ve got one of these mechs, which is just as well, because Meatworld is full of monsters, old gods, a land that wants to eat you alive and so, so many fucking Nazis. You’ll play to bash the fash, explore the weirdness that is Meatworld, attack and dethrone god(s), solve mysteries like a gore dripping Scooby Gang, deal with trauma, and if you’re lucky, make out with your friends. 

Extreme Meatpunks Forever is a game that includes high action and combat alongside your attempts to make connections with each-other. It’s a PbtA game that draws from games such as MASKS, Thirsty Sword Lesbians, and Monster of the Week, which means that even though you’ll be fighting fascists, you’ll also be pushing each-others buttons, revealing the most vulnerable parts of yourselves, and heavily making out. If you want drama, action, and more drama, you want Extreme Meatpunks Forever.

Under Hollow Hills, by Meguey & Vincent Baker.

There is a traveling circus under the Hollow Hills. It travels by moonlight, small wagons creaking in the night silence. It travels lost roads, where fireflies and whisps hover to watch it pass, where goblins peer down from their treebranch perches, and owls. It travels the night world and the day world, fairyland and the living earth, and places otherwise, and no border can keep it. It has mysteries to pose, drama to perform, it has music, juggling, acts of death-defying peril, pratfall comedy. It has dangerous secrets to tell.

Step up, step up. Come great, come small, come revelers all!

Many of the roles of Under Hollow Hills feel like they are defined in relation to each-other; for example, the Crowned Stag is who they are because of who their parents are and who they have authority over. This game also expects much of what you do with each-other to matter; will you confront someone in order to get them to change their behaviour, or draw them out in order to understand how they are feeling?

Your identity in Under Hollow Hills is also defined in relation to something; the seasons. When it is Summer you are expected to have one presentation and set of pronouns; that presentation and pronouns may differ in Winter. This means that the role that you provide is much more constant than anything so easily changed as gender. Since your role is more permanent, this also means that character progression isn’t really expected in Under Hollow Hills; rather, the community that you participate in (the circus) is designed to grow and change. Under Hollow Hills creates subtle connections between players that encourages them to play with power, vulnerability, and identity, and I think that’s really beautiful.

Mutants in the Night, by Orion D Black.

It's the year 2044.  

Mutants have been struggling to survive since humanity divided in two, 10 years ago. They now live in Mutant Safe Zones; rundown slums and ghettos surrounded by mighty walls, to placate humanity's fear of the unknown.   

The law stands against them. Enforcers stand above them. Opportunity stands before them.  

Mutants are such a poignant metaphor for all kinds of marginalization. On top of that, the Crew aspect of Forged in the Dark games give your characters a reason to work together, as well as a common goal, which is why I think they work so well at giving you a community that you can care for.

I’m also interested in games that ask questions about community in a world that is not perfect - just like in Dream Askew, the characters of Mutants in the Night live in a world that at best, does not care about them, and at worst, desires to harm them. If you want a game that provides no easy answers and overwhelming odds, you might be interested in Mutants in the Night.

Dungeon Bitches, by Dungeon Bitches.

In Dungeon Bitches, the world is harsh and cold. “Polite” society has left you with no place, so you’ve struck out to find one of your own. Out into the dark cracks and forgotten margins. It’s not an easy life, but at least it won’t be a lonely one.

Dungeon Bitches is a game about queer women banding together. It’s about trauma. It’s about community. It’s about pain. It’s about survival. But most of all, it’s very gay.

This is a PbtA game that provides randomly-generated dungeons meant to freak out and push your Bitches to their limit, and therefore also push them closer together, demanding that they figure out how to talk to each-other and work together if they’re going to survive. This is a game about community forged in hardship, with plenty of ways to explore intimacy, whether that be sexual or non-sexual.

The creators of this game have a number of supplements to allow you to play the game in various settings, including Death Spiral (dieselpunk body-horror), Crooked Mile (90’s grunge), and The Wounded, Hungry & Forgotten (monsters).

Moonlight on Roseville Beach, by R. Rook Studio.

Queer pulp meets cosmic horror! It's 1979, and you're spending the summer working in Roseville Beach, the queerest little town on Rose Island. You might have come here looking for an escape, some fun, a little extra money, or even love, but now people are seeing phantasms, strange animals—and stranger old gods—wander the woods, mysterious monoliths appear randomly, and that strange music is coming from somewhere.

As a setting, Roseville Beach is a queer community on a small island, and because it’s a queer community, it’s kind of ignored by law enforcement. This means that your characters are the ones responsible for investigating the strange things happening around the community, as well as protecting their family and neighbours from whatever is lurking out there.

Characters are built from tropes, with customizable backgrounds that take the form of pick lists (and I love a good pick list). Each character also has their own specific problem, like the the Scandalous’ scandal, or the troubles associated with being a Shifter. Your session zero is also expected to be rather generative, with special strange events set up for each character that also give you a skill or ability. If you like pulp stories and tensions that are specific to the community you live in, you’ll want to check out Moonlight on Roseville Beach.

You can pick this game up as part of the TTRPGs for Palestine Bundle!

Also…

Of course, I’m also going to drop a quick plug for my game, Protect the Child, which is full of metaphors about queerness and found family. I've been ruminating on themes like marginalization, parenthood, and children's rights for this one, and so far the play-testing has had some really positive feedback! (Rules update coming out later this month!)

You might also be interested in some of the submissions to the Hot Mutant Summer Jam that ran last month!

Games I’ve Recommended in the Past

Here, There, be Monsters!, by Wendi yu.

Exceptionals, by Bramble Wolf Games.

Turn, by Beau Jágr Sheldon.

Yazeba’s Bed & Breakfast, by Possum Creek Games.

Those Of Us Who Know Better, by C.J. Linton.

Apocalypse Keys, by Rae Nedjadi.

Past Recommendation Posts That Kinda Fit the Vibe

Make It Gay

Post-Apocalyptic Community

*Romanticizes the Monstrous*

Genderfuckery

Lycanthropic and Transsexual

Urban Monsters

[shina913]

Cold Snap | CSC

Cold Snap

Pairing: Seungcheol x Fem!Reader

Rating: M 🔞

Genre: Established relationship; domestic au; fluff

Warnings: some teasing; allusions to sex

Word count: 1K words

Summary: You wake up and realize that your apartment's heater broke again.

A/N: Just a little something to break my writing drought. Dedicated to my friends, @/roaminginthenights and @/yoongukie-ff who have contributed to my most recent Cheol brainrot. Enjoy!

You wake up slowly, feeling a sudden chill in the air. It was still dark out and you wonder if it's just your imagination or a lingering dream. But when your teeth start to chatter, you realize that the room feels colder than it did when you went to bed.

Despite some upgrades over the years, certain aspects of your old apartment building remained on the 'vintage' side – including the heating system. Recently, your building manager repaired the radiator valves in your unit. They had been malfunctioning when you tried to turn them on during random cool days in the fall.

And because all weather reports in your area warned the public about a record-setting drop in temperatures this season, you needed the heaters to work, most especially on a day like today—the official first day of winter.

You roll over onto your side and interrupt Seungcheol's rhythmic snoring with a nudge.

His drowsiness is replaced by concern when he sees your bottom lip quivering. "What's wrong?"

"Did you turn the heater off?"

He immediately snorts at your accusatory tone. "Me? No, that’s all you, babe."

Seungcheol typically felt cold easily while your internal body temperature ran warmer. You suggested that he get thicker blankets or try sleeping in additional layers of clothing. Instead, he preferred to turn up the thermostat so he could sleep comfortably in his boxers. You, being the more cost-effective-minded half of this relationship, would switch it off in the middle of the night to save money on your energy bill.

However, last night was no joke! You didn’t mind the heater running all night.

"I didn't. It was freezing so I kept it on!"

"Welcome to my world." Before he rolls over to go back to sleep, you grab onto his shirt.

"Can you please check the valve? I think it broke again."

He shakes his head. “That’s impossible. We just got it fixed!”

“Just double-check, please?” You give him your best puppy-eye look, not wanting to leave the warm confines of your blankets.

He sighs and gives a quick nod before getting out of bed.

As soon as he is out of the warm sheets and feels the cold air on his bare chest, he curses under his breath. Before taking another step, he retrieves his hoodie from the nearby chair where he had tossed it the night before.

After putting it on, he makes his way toward the radiator on the other side of the room. He crouches down to inspect the valve.

"Huh. That's weird," he murmurs.

Before you can ask about what he noticed, he stands up and walks into the living room to check the controls there.

A minute later, he returns, visibly frustrated. He picks up his cellphone from the nightstand and makes a call.

“You’re right. It’s broken again,” he huffs, preparing to leave a voicemail for your building manager about the broken heating system in your unit.

There’s something about him taking control like this that turns you on. He stands by his side of the bed, in his boxers and hoodie, with a calm but stern voice.

It was the same voice he used when you permitted him to boss you around in bed. Another chill travels down your spine but not from the cold.

When he hangs up, he reaches for his joggers, which were laid on the same chair he reclaimed his hoodie from, and slips back into bed with you.

“Fucking nightmare,” he grunted. “Too bad it’s the weekend and we can’t get this fixed right away. Guess we’ll have stop by the store to grab a couple of space heaters right when it opens.”

Unfortunately, that wasn’t for another few hours.

As he buries himself deeper into the cozy comfort of your sheets, a shiver runs down his spine due to the draft that envelops your apartment. ”We can’t live like this,” he pouts.

With a mischievous smile playing on your lips, you respond, "You know, there’s another way we can warm up and make the most out of this situation while we wait for the stores to open."

“And what’s that?” He mumbles curiously from under the collar of his hoodie.

You scoot closer to him, wedging one arm between his body and the mattress, and encircle his waist with the other. Then, you gently slide your hand up underneath his hoodie.

“Ahh, your hands feel like ice!” he squeaks in surprise, his body stiffening at the contact.

“Or maybe they’ll warm up quicker if I go this way?” You slide both hands lower, past his waistband to palm his ass cheeks.

"Okay, okay! I get your point!" he half-yelps and chuckles at your mischief.

When his laughter subsides, he asks, "Wouldn't this be more effective with direct skin-on-skin contact? Like...without clothes on?"

The way he catches his lower lip with his teeth and cocks his eyebrow makes your pulse quicken.

You pretend to be ignorant, saying, "Well, I'm no scientist, so I wouldn't really know." You give his cheeks another firm squeeze.

"Well then, we should find out." He moves away slightly from your touch, just enough to remove his hoodie. "You know, for science!"

You suppress a laugh, fully aware of his playful intentions. “And if it doesn't work?”

He kicks off his boxers and pulls you flush against him. “Then I know a foolproof way for us to work up a sweat.”

When he nestles into your neck and begins kissing you, you let out a sigh, melting into him. You barely notice him removing your bottoms.

He hums and pulls your top up and over your head. The moment your bare skin touches his, a wave of sensation rushes through your body, causing you to gasp.

"I mean, if it's for science," you moan in acquiescence.

As his kisses trail down to your breasts, he asks, "Are you warm enough now?"

"Why don't you move a little lower and we'll reassess then?"

He laughs softly against your skin but doesn't object. Instead, he does what he’s told, and you spend the next few hours tangled up in bed until sunrise.

Main SVT Fic Masterlist

Thank you so much for reading!

If you loved it, please comment, reblog, or send me feedback! 📩. I love hearing from readers! If you didn’t like it so much, I would still like to hear about it. Help me become a better writer! 💜

Tagging: @roaminginthenights; @yoongukie-ff

[yiffos-official]

I am willing to give you or anyone else on tumblr the skills and advice the helped me get my dream job

the idea of working for TEK a few months ago would just be a fantasy

my background in education is English. I learned what I know now on my own and only by random chance.

This is why I am so critical of the linux commumity on tumblr.

They're tagging themselves as -official when they can't provide casual end user support.

They're entirely too horny to be in this sphere. Computers and linux should not be about how much you want to fuck/be fucked by X

it will deter end users

This is very cool that you will help other tumblr users with this stuff; i may actually take you up on this at some point :3

(my tone here is /g, /pos, /nm, /lh)

I do, however, kind of disagree with the other points. I think that for any other social media it's correct, twt or fb does not have the culture to make these sorts of parody accounts viable or not-counter-productive to increasing the linux market share. But I don't think that tumblr is the same.

I think that tumblr does. I think the tumblr community has always been this somewhat ephemeral yet perpetual inside joke culture where almost every user is in-the-know, and new users to the joke are able generally able to catch on quickly to it due to their general understanding of they way tumblr communities operate.

IMO, it's a somewhat quick pipeline of:

\> find first "x-official" blog -> assume it's real -> see them horny posting about xenia -> infer that RH corporate would probably not approve of such a blog

I can appreciate that it might be intimidating to seek out help as a new linux user, and especially a new linux & tumblr user, but looking through these blogs, you do see them helping out people ^^. heck, my last post was helping someone getting wayland working on an nvidia system.

The main goal of these blogs is not to be a legitimate CS service to general end-users. they aren't affiliated with the software their blog is named after, so in many cases they *cant*. The goal is instead to foster a community around linux, creating a general network of blogs of the various FOSS projects that they enjoy.

I think that final sentiment, of these blogs detering end users, is most likely counter to their actual effect on end users who are considering switching to linux.

We all know a lot of tumblr is 20 or 30 something year olds who have just stuck around since ~2012ish, and new users to tumblr join with pre-existing knowledge of the culture and platform. Almost anyone coming across these blogs are going to be people who can see the "in" joke, and acclimate. I do highly doubt that a random facebook mom who's son convinced her to install mint on her old laptop would find tumblr, find a -official blog, scroll through said blog, and be detered from using mint.

The other side of this is that any tumblr users who come across these blogs, be it with an inkling of desire to switch to linux or not, will see a vibrant and active community that fits very well into the tumblr community. They remember, or have heard of, the amtrac & OSHA blogs, and are therefore probably aware that this is a pre-existing meme on here.

In all likelyhood, this will probably further incentivize them to make the switch, as they would be more attracted to a community of their peers over a community of redditors telling them to read the arch wiki repeatedly

I can, on the other hand, definitely see that for people who have difficulties with parsing tone, and especially sarcasm, would have trouble with this. TBH, I have these difficulties (hence when I was speaking to you yesterday I used the /unjerk indicator, as I couldn't tell what the tone of the conversation was), and so it took me a little while of being in this weird "I'm 99% sure these *aren't* official, but what if?". I have been there forI think that maybe being more transparent with the fact that the blogs are parodies is probably important. I'm guilty of this, and after i post this, i'll add it to my bio.

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 7

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

A new day a new chapter! Today we get into the Water Prison. The real question: will Shen Qingqiu actually make it out?

No Charlie pics today, I have been abandoned at my reading/writing station, but I do have tea! Tea today is a blueberry jasmine.

Let's get into it!!!!

What the fuck?! Is this an acid lake? p89

Dang it really is crazy how after two accusations with zero evidence or proof that Shen Qingqiu actually did anything, he get's locked up in maximum security prison. p89

Right now I'm having war flashbacks from MDZS -> another protagonist out here doing their best with the rest of the world just making shit up about them for fun. RE: Little Palace mistress and her delusions of what SQQ did. She literally even says- he didnt say you did anything but I have a vibe. Like what? p91

We are gathered here today to all witness how Shen Qingqiu is once again refusing to acknowledge that he is indeed the Love Interest. Honestly, does anyone ever tell him? I live for the day the system changes his classification from villain to Love interest and actually tells him this. Idk if it happens, but now I need it to happen. Re: "what fit even less was the fact, in the original work, the Little Palace Mistress's refined iron whip had only been used for attacking love rivals" p93

Luo Binghe to the rescue!! p94 just catching that whip

Okay but when SQQ states that something is wrong with the script- is he actually on the path to understanding? or still clueless? I hope he sort of realizes what's happening, because dang this guy has 0 idea Luo Binghe would kill for him p95

OOP. "There is no need for Shizun to be so wary. If I wished to do something to you, I wouldn't need to touch you at all" p96

Re: point above about "is he understanding?" *deep sigh * SQQ has not learned at all and refuses to actively listen. He is still trying to follow the old script p.97. Okay but I do love how this guy is accidentally getting himself (in a weird way) romanced.

I honestly am pretty sure this is a dating sim XD "*to the system* Do you think we're playing a dating sim?!" p99

omg torture via demon blood is horrible. Like this is a worst nightmare, having little bugs in your organs NO THANKS. p101

I'm crying LOOOOOL two options; 1. the fake jade guanyin. 2. [Activate Small Scene Pusher] and gets his CLOTHES ripped off. Bro is now the lead in a period bodice ripper XD p102

*face palm* "Does it just take advantage of Luo Binghe's physiological disgust upon seeing a man's half-naked body?" p104. no my man, it is not disgust

oh no, giving him his outer robe made it more scandalous p104

RIP confirmed that that is the previous canon's sex robe p106

literally everyone has a feeling about what's up. Gongyi Xiao is eyeing SQQ, see's the robe and does indeed assume things about SQQ and Luo Binghe. How stupid is SQQ??? p107

Re: the note from Shang Qinghua to SQQ. Shang Qinghua is also an idiot, this guy had 1 job and that was to not fuck up the mushrooms. he goofed this exponentially. RIP those mushrooms. p109

Welp. Gongyi Xiao is realizing that Luo BInghe may not be as pure of heart as he thought p112

it's so much worse though- he really thinks that Luo Binghe assaulted SQQ and is now helping SQQ escape. p113

meanwhile SQQ is living in his own universe LOL no idea these are the assumptions. Also, IDK what's going to happen when Luo Binghe inevitably see's SQQ in Gongyi Xiao's robe. RIP GYX p115

Okay but SQQ I too would freak the fuck out if I had a walking/wake dream. Meng Mo's realm is no joke. p120-121

Dang Luo Binghe has become so strong. This dreamscape is insane. pp 124-126

again with the clothes ripping. I hope one day they enjoy this consensually. p127 (blessed be this canon for the fanfics)

in which SQQ does not realize that the fight in the dreamscape is indeed not a fight- it is most definitely foreplay. p128

I fucking KNEW IT Luo Binghe was NOT pleased with SQQ wearing Gongyi Xiao's robe. LOOOL. p130

but also I don't know what became of GYX but let's take a moment to remember him, I am sure he did not make it.

oh gosh more tragic SQQ backstory :( p132

I am glad I clocked it in the last chapter. Something was so fishy about the family that took him in and his "betrothal" my heart for SQQ :( :( :( p134

Okay get it Ning YinYing!!!! Re: her talking shit to and about Little Palace Mistress to her face! p138

yes she got slapped but still she did a pretty good job! and her sect siblings have her back.

That is it for today!!

Oh god. ofc we leave on a cliffhanger with a shady guy ready to super saiyan AND the next chapter is ominously titled "Death". I am not prepared for this!