#drawn in a frantic panic before the energy to hold a pen left me again~

[drawingducktalesducks]

Can I request some Lena birthday with Weblena draw?

you will get something else entirely im afraid

weblena all grown up and dancing (lena trying not to smile and failing) (maybe it's her birthday and webby went full fairytale on the theme idk)

[fletchphoenix]

Families Are Overrated

Chapter 2 of the Varigo Coffee Shop AU! 

Wow, an update today and yesterday! I’m absolutely loving this story and writing it, so I hope you guys enjoy it as much as I do. Unfortunately, I start school soon so the schedule will most likely have to change (as much as I don’t want it to.)

Word Count - 3,705 

TW - Panic Attacks, Strong Language

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Although it was only Wednesday, Thursday felt as though it was decades away. Up until now, the days had dragged on and on and on. In all honesty, Varian thought the universe itself was extending the length of each day just to taunt him. They all just seemed to merge together no matter what he did to take up his time, it never seemed to speed up. “Why can’t Thursday just hurry up…?” The raven haired boy thought as he picked up his backpack and headed out of the chemistry labs, tucking a strand of hair that had fallen into his face behind his ear and descending the stairs towards the town library.

  Corona was a rather large town, with most streets littered with stores, houses and parks. Oddly, it was almost always unbelievably sunny, the aforementioned rays of the blinding light burning his eyes as he remained on course to the building, causing him to be suddenly very interested in the floor. The town was rather peaceful and beautiful too in terms of crime and layout - though, he did live in the less beautiful, more run-down faction of the city called Old Corona, and ANY town would be better than Old Corona when it comes to crime rates or general beauty. 

  After around 10 minutes of walking, he found himself outside of the doors he knew so well - the doors to the Coronan Library. His mom used to joke, always calling it the “Eternal Library” because of its tremendous size. Before her and his dad split up. He missed her a lot. He let out a sigh at the unwanted memory and stepped forward. Instantly after he’d pushed open the heavy, oak doors, a tiny boy ran and wrapped his arms around his waist with a wide smile on his face. Varian let out a chuckle and leant down to ruffle his hair, prying the younger boy off him and heading to a 3 seating spruce table in the middle of the room. Various books, pens and stationary were littered about the surface with the wood underneath barely even visible at most points. Yong eagerly ran to take his seat, jittering in excitement. He could swear that kid was just a bundle of energy - somehow always able to run around or be doing something. 

  “Took you long enough. I was starting to think you bailed.” A voice rang out as he took his place at the table. He didn’t even have to look at her to know who it was, a distinct hair clip with a star on it made it very clear to him. Nuru looked at him, a smirk on her face and her eyebrow raised with her NASA shirt being covered by a violet bomber jacket. Her jeans were cuffed and little scribbles that were drawn in pen were dotted here and there. Sneakers that were the same colour as her jacket only just fell short of her ankle, black socks with stars peeking out of them only just visible from the top. He dramatically sighed and feigned annoyance, a mock expression of the emotion on his face while he flopped back into his chair.

  “Yeah, yeah. I’m sorry Nuru. I got sidetracked - that’s all. So, how are you today, Yong?” He questioned, finally taking time to look over at the boy sitting beside him. Covering him was a crimson hoodie - judging by the way it dwarfed him in size, it was his older brother’s that was given to him as a hand me down or some sort of gift. It was kind of cute - a ghost of a smile appearing on his face. On his feet were some worn, gold and red converse that were laced ridiculously tight, also a hand-me-down. A childish smile was on his face as he looked up at Varian.

  “I’m fine! We learnt about astronomy today and calculating percentage composition! We got assigned some questions though and I didn’t understand the equation…” He mumbled the last part and leant against the table, before pulling 2 notebooks out of his bag. “Is it okay if you two can help me with my homework though? Just so I can understand it better and stuff. You explain it really well.” 

  “Sure we can, buddy.” Varian replied and shuffled closer to him. “So the equation for percentage mass is the mass of the desired elements divided by the gram formula mass, and then multiply it by 100%, but you know that, right?” He paused, waiting for a nod of confirmation which he promptly got before continuing with his explanation. “So the question is to calculate the percentage composition of ammonium nitrate fertilizer. Right? So, the first step is to write out the formula,” he paused once again to allow Yong to follow his instructions, the younger boy giving a thumbs up when he was done. “Great. So then you need to work out the gram formula mass which is…?” 

  Yong stared at the paper quietly, leaning forward and holding his pen before chewing the lid.  “So it’s 14 add 4 add 14 add 48, so that’s gonna be...80?” he questioned, looking over at Varian and his face lighting up when he gave a nod of approval. 

  “So then,” Varian added, “You need to do 14 divided by 2 multiplied by 100 to get the percentage of Nitrogen, then 4 divided by 80 and multiplied by 100 to get the percentage of hydrogen and finally 48 divided by 80 and multiplied by 100 to get the percentage of oxygen!” Varian concluded, smiling as Yong handed over his finished work. The older boy glanced over it, double checking before handing the worksheet back with a satisfied hum. “All correct! Well done, bud.”

  At that news, Yong gave a little cheer, moving over to Nuru and showing off his work, Varian sitting back as he watched the heartwarming scene from afar. He seemed so proud of himself, and he had every right to be. Still, after his little adrenaline rush, Nuru sat him down and listened attentively as Yong talked extensively about his astronomy homework. Satisfied that his job was done, Varian gazed out of the window. Hm. Still abnormally sunny - as per usual.

  A slight breeze made its way through the library as the door creaked open, prompting Varian to divert his attention towards it. He regretted it immediately. Standing in the doorway was none other than Hugo. He was wearing a green hoodie with jeans...god, he looked so good in green. Heat started to build in his face as he moved to look away from the older boy, his hands fidgeting in his lap and the tips of his ears turning red the longer he looked at him. He silently prayed Nuru and Yong hadn’t noticed...but the universe had other plans in its mission to screw him over.

  “Varian, are you okay? Your face is red. Are you too warm? Do you want me to ask the librarian to turn the fan on?” inquired Yong, already standing and beginning to walk away. Varian groaned and sunk back further into his chair, covering his still red face with his hands. Oh my god, why did he have to be here? He grimaced as the sound of Nuru’s laughter gradually got louder. “What.” he questioned, not daring to look up and betray just how flustered he was. This, however, only caused her to laugh even harder. 

    “Nothing! I just can’t believe Varian Ruddiger, my best friend, is simping for Hugo Atkinson aka one of the biggest playboys in human existence! It’s simply unbelievable!” Nuru cackled, Varian swiftly lunging and covering her mouth with his hand. 

  “Shut the fuck up, Nuru! If he even hears you!-” he flushed red as his eyes met Hugo’s from across the room. A smirk tugged at the corners of the blonde’s lips and he shot the younger boy a wink, bursting out into uncontrollable laughter as the other’s face went even redder (as if that was even possible) and he frantically tried to compose himself. Varian hurriedly stood up, shoving books into his bag and pushing the blue streak of hair out of his line of sight.

  “Oh would you look at the time! Eugene will be here to pick me up any minute now!” he declared rather loudly. The librarian looked up from her position behind the counter and shushed him, her eyes rolling as he repeatedly apologised. Cooling air hit his face as he dashed out of the library, passing Hugo at a speed he himself didn’t know he could reach. It was the relief he desperately needed - the flush of his face calming down and slowly retreating. Why was he so awkward? A blaring horn bought him back to reality, courtesy of his unofficial sister’s boyfriend. Involuntarily, he winced and stumbled back, bringing his hands up to cover his ears.

  “Hey Var! C’mon!” Eugene called out, a wide smile on his face as he waved him over. With a groan, Varian headed over and opened the door. He slumped into the passenger’s seat, fingers moving to roll down the window and allow the breeze to hit his face as Eugene drove. Varian silently observed the houses and stores as they sped past, steadily being swapped out with parks and fields leading up to his sister’s house.

  It always went like this ever since his mom left. On Wednesdays, Eugene would pick him up from his tutoring job and he’d go over to the couple’s house for dinner, before Eugene would drive him back home to Old Corona. Routine. A snug routine that no one disagreed with. They sat in a pleasant silence before the brunette decided to speak up.

  “So uh..how was your day, kiddo?” he implored, taking a second to glance over at the smaller boy as he stared out of the car window, charcoal locks blowing wildly in the wind, with the blue streaks still clearly defined. The response was a nod and faint hum as the boy kept his focus on the landscape beside them. The brunette bit his lip and relented on the questions. Clearly he wasn’t fine then.

  The ivory car pulled in outside of the small, ivy-walled cottage, both boys exiting the car after it had been parked. “There we go, Maximus. Good job.” Eugene mumbled under his breath, giving the hood a gentle tap before striding towards the wooden door and opening it. “Blondie! We’re here!” he exclaimed as the blonde-haired woman bounded out into the hallway, sprinting outside to pull the younger boy into a rib-crushing hug as her fiancé watched on in amusement. 

  “Varian! Hey!” she beamed as she took his wrist in a vice-like grip and pulled him along into the cottage. “It’s so good to see you! Cass, Lance and the girls are in the living room if you want to go see them!” Huh. Cass? That was new. Last thing he heard was that she was travelling the world after finishing her course at university. He put on the widest smile he could and slid open the sitting room’s door.

  Cassandra, Lance, Keira and Catalina all looked up from where they were sitting and waved. Varian made his way over to Cass, settling down beside her and allowing her to pull him into a side hug. “Hey co lady-in-waiting.” she chuckled and ruffled his hair. “How are you? How long has it been- what, 4 years?” 

  “Yep. 4 years.” Lance chimed in from his perch on the matching lilac sofa, a wide grin on his face as Cass tossed a pillow at him. Much to her dismay, he caught it and threw it right back at them. It hit Cass square in the face, her letting out a gasp of surprise and falling back against the plush cushions dotted all over the couch. The black haired boy let out a snort of laughter, covering his mouth and trying to suppress the small giggles that kept leaving his mouth. “I’m-oh fuck hold on,” he barely managed to pass the words through his lips, still in a fit of laughter. He took a deep breath. In. Hold. Out. In. Hold. Out. “That’s better. I’m fine. Studying chemistry at Corona University now.” he replied with a grin and leant against her, letting her warmth engulf him once again. 

  “No fuckin’ way. You’re a uni kid now?” she sat bolt upright, turning to look at him with wide eyes before resuming her original position. “Shit..it's been way too long since I’ve been here.” she let out a breathy laugh and looked down.

  “DINNER’S READY!” Rapunzel’s voice cried out from the kitchen, summoning everyone to sit down at the table. The meal of choice was a simple spaghetti, served on a purple porcelain plate. After settling everyone down, Rapunzel distributed the food. It was all going well, in all honesty. Everyone was talking about various topics: Eugene and Lance’s promotions, Kiera and Catalina joining high school soon, where Cass was travelling..that was until that all important question was asked - the one Varian dreaded the most.

  “So Varian,” Catalina asked innocently, looking up at him. “Have you got a girlfriend yet?”

  Varian froze, spoon raised to his mouth before dropping it back onto the plate. “I-I’m sorry, what?” he stuttered out, an awkward, forced smile taking over his face. Oh god, why were they asking this?

  “Yeah V, do you have a girlfriend?” Kiera repeated her sister’s question, her interest seemingly peaked by his response.

  Oh. Oh. Of course this question would come up eventually. Fuck. He’d never had a girlfriend in his life! The only girl who he’d ever had a crush on was Cassandra! What did he even like about girls? He tried to think back on all of his previous crushes..Flynn Rider, Cassandra, Vex (for about 2 minutes), and finally...Hugo.

   His mind drifted to Hugo much to his displeasure. To the wink at the library, the extensive texting sessions, the way his eyes lit up when he talked about something he was passionate about...his sharp and defined features..his lips. He wondered how they’d taste..probably like cherries. Oh, he’d do anything to kiss Hugo-wait what? His face, for the umpteenth time flushed bright red as he narrowed his eyes to stare at the table cloth. “Um-no. No I don’t-” he began to protest before the others interrupted him again.

  “Aw, really? Our lovable Varian Ruddiger hasn’t captured the hearts of all the ladies he’s ever laid eyes on? I don’t believe it!” Cass exclaimed, taking a sip of the lemonade Rapunzel had made earlier. “Beautiful lemonade, by the way Raps. Good stuff.”

  “Yeah, especially when his brother-in-law is the infamous playboy Flynn Rider!” Lance pointed out with a vast smile on his face. “And Cass is right, this lemonade is the best I’ve ever had, Rapunzel.”

  “Look guys, can we just-stop talking about my relationship status?” Varian pleaded, his hands resting on the table and his breathing quickening. Oh god, was the room getting smaller? He felt like it was getting smaller. Tears welled up in his eyes as the others continued their teasing at his expense. 

“Just can’t believe it!-”

“I know a lovely girl! She’s Leona’s daughter!-”

“Varian?”

Too hot. It was too hot. No air. Why couldn’t he breathe? Was he dying? What was going on? Why was he shaking so much? He struggled and his chest heaved as he tried to take in more air. It’s too much. Please stop. 

“What happened to Vex? Don’t you like her anymore?-” 

Please stop.

“Buddy, are you okay?”

Stop.

“Varian?”

“STOP!” he screamed out, standing up fast and knocking his chair to the floor. Wet trails ran down his face as he harshly wiped his eyes and headed to the door. “Thanks for dinner, it was great.” he growled and shoved past the mass of worried people, throwing open the front door and falling to his knees outside. He gasped for breath, the oxygen being his saviour as it finally felt like he was getting enough. He was free. In. Hold. Out. In. Hold. Out. His body jolted as a hand cautiously rested on his shoulder, squeezing it softly before the mystery comforter sat by him.

  “Rapunzel I…”

  “Don’t. I get it. Just get yourself together, okay? In for 7, hold for 7, out for 7. Just like I taught you.” she commented with a reassuring smile, holding out her arms for him to fall into. He closed his eyes in the embrace, his hands holding on tight to the fabric of her dress to ground himself. Her perfume had the scent of lavender, calming his nerves and helping him relax further. It reminded him of the old house before the accident. Before his mom left. The good times.

  “Varian..I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have pushed you so far. It isn’t fair.” she finally admitted as her hand weaved through his hair in a motherly kind of way. “I’m so sorry we didn’t stop sooner. But just know that-well, you can always tell us if you aren’t comfortable. We’ll respect your choices no matter what.” 

  Varian smiled to himself at what his sister said. She always wanted what was best for him - especially after his dad went into a coma. “Thank you so much.” he muttered against her shoulder. “You have..no idea what this means to me.” he sighed, content in the moment before moving back. “I should go home, it’s gonna be really awkward for me to go back.”

  Rapunzel looked as though she’d been slapped in the face. “I-are you sure? I doubt the others mind, and I made cupcakes to celebrate you and Cass coming over.”

  “Thanks Rapunzel but I just want to go home-” he began to say. A silhouette appeared in the doorway, leaning against it on her upper arm. Cass looked down at the scene, a sympathetic smile on her face as the wind blew her hair about and she held out her hand. “Relax Raps. I’ll take him. I was just leaving anyway. The little twerp just needs to let me know the directions. Oh, and he’ll need this.” she remarked, throwing a helmet towards Varian who, with fumbling hands, caught it. But-why would he need a-

  His question was answered as Cass walked away, swinging her leg over the motorbike and sitting down. The bike was..wow. Black was the base coat for the vehicle - red streaks ran across the main body intermingling with blue streaks. He was taken aback, swinging his leg over after placing the helmet on his head. His arms wrapped around Cass’ waist as she started to drive.

  It was exhilarating. Wind whistled past his ears, houses merging together at the speed they were moving and the fields became mere blurs in the background. Eyes widened with wonder as he held on, cheering and filled with adrenaline. Cass’ face lit up at the sound of Varian’s childlike enjoyment and wonder as he marvelled at his surroundings. She brought the bike to a stop, smoothing down her hair and helping Varian off. As he trudged up his driveway, she kept her eyes on him. 

  “Hey V?” she said, him turning around almost immediately to meet her eyes. “Uh..you should come meet my girlfriend sometime. Her name’s Irene. You’d love her.” she commented, pulling her helmet on as Varian frantically nodded. She silently waved and rode off into the night, leaving Varian on the doorstep of his admittedly shabby house.

  Varian stood in silence for a second before a grin split onto his face. A weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Cass..of course. He knew she’d understand. Thank god he wasn’t alone. Cass knew..she knew what he was dealing with. He turned his head to the direction that her bike went. He’d thank her later, somehow. 

  After a few seconds, he strode into the house and made a left to the kitchen, a pearl-white sheet of paper placed onto the counter wedged under the fruit bowl sat in plain sight. Varian read it aloud before throwing it into the trash. “Brilliant. Dad’s working late.” he rolled his eyes, moving towards the cupboard and pouring out some cat food into a bowl. Ruddiger, the fat bastard, came sauntering in, rubbing himself against the boy’s leg before starting to eat. He laughed and started to head upstairs.

  He sat on his bed and gazed at the time on his phone. 7:32pm. Hugo should be online. He couldn’t help the stupid smile that cursed his face at the mere thought of the boy in question, pressing his name under messages.

Varian : Still on for 1 tomorrow?

  He sent the text, still high on the adrenaline rush from the motorbike. Tomorrow was weighing on his mind as he sat up, hurrying to his closet to pick out his clothes for their date. Or at least that’s what Hugo called it and Varian desperately hoped that wasn’t a joke. Extensive searching left him with deciding upon a cyan sweater over a white dress shirt, along with some jeans and his black vans. The infamous chime went off, with Varian essentially jumping over the frame of his bed to read it.

Hugo : Wouldn’t miss it for the world, sweetie pie <3

Hugo : You looked good in the library by the way, short stuff ;)

   Varian rolled his eyes at Hugo’s comment. What else had he expected, honestly. He snuck a glance at his mirror, only to see the same lovestruck grin as every other night before that. God, he loved this boy so much. It wasn’t fair how one person could have this effect on him. How everything felt better when they were talking. Hell, even coffee tasted better when he was drinking it with Hugo. 

Varian : Better than you, beanpole

Hugo : Ouch. Really know how to wound my pride, dontcha?

Hugo: Anyway, I’ve gotta study tonight so I’ll see you tomorrow. Same table.

Varian :  Eye eye, Captain. See you tomorrow.

  Setting his phone aside, Varian watched as Ruddiger crawled to sit on the bed beside him, cuddling under his arm and purring. “Ruddiger, I think i’m in love.” the boy whispered to his companion. 

“I think I’m in love with Hugo Atkinson.”

[kkruml]

STAY Ch 12

Thank you to @sassenachwaffles for your tireless cheerleading of my half-baked ideas, and to @missclairebelle- I know I interupted a bubble bath with a late night panic attack over the end of this chapter. Words just aren’t enough for you both.

Mood Music

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

AO3

Previously

“Jamie… for so long I’ve never felt like I belonged.” She paused, taking a breath before continuing. Her voice was quiet, but steady, “My parents and I- we did travel quite a bit. Boston never really felt like home- it was just a place to land for a spell before we were off to the next adventure.”

His mind conjured images of his own childhood.

The large stone buildings and secret passages through the woods that carved and molded his memories. The very stone walls of Lallybroch had been home, at least long ago. He’d always imagined being Laird, with his lady by his side. A mix of tradition and adolescent daydreams that had once seemed like the logical step in his life’s trajectory. It had been an all but foregone conclusion until a dark night and the sound of twisted metal that scattered his future to the wind… until now.

Her fingers found his hand and intertwined her fingers with his, “Home- it’s always been an idea, but not a place for me, Jamie.”

Home. Loving her was now home to him.

The weight of her hand in his anchored him to the bench as he struggled to keep a clear mind. “What is home to ye now, Sassenach?”

Golden amber glowed in the early evening sun. “Home to me… is you, Jamie.”

Claire

“Are ye sure about this, Sassenach?” Jamie’s eyes were slanted with concern as he watched her hands carefully travel over the document, her pen deftly situated in her hand.

With her heart pounding in her chest and a swell of happiness curling her lips into a smile, she met his gaze. His eyebrows were pressed together in concern, and she lifted her hand to his cheek, feeling the stubble prickle under her touch. The word bubbled from her chest and sent a warm wave of contentment through her veins. “Yes.”

The pen swirled and dipped against the paper in a flourish as she finished her signature.

Claire Elizabeth Beauchamp.

A heaviness lifted, and her heart constricted as the last fleeting memories came rushing back to her.

This house. This place. Her parents. So many things that would never be. But so much more that was now possible.

Gently placing the pen next to the fresh ink, she nodded. “And that’s that.”

“What happens now?”

“Uncle Lamb will handle the particulars,” she paused, feeling a large arm snake around her shoulder and she leaned into the warmth.

They had given her the gift of her past. It was time for her to turn towards her future.

“It will take some time, but the foundation will be able to convert this place into a proper home for…  parentless children.”

Orphans.

The word she couldn’t quite say aloud. The place she’d known for so long would be the soft place to land for children less fortunate than she, but also so similar in their loss and longing for a family.

The weight of his hand brought her back to the present. The pattern of swirls his fingers traced prickling her skin were as comforting as they were intoxicating. Tilting her face to his, she was met with a tranquil sea of blue, framed by auburn lashes.

“Yer parents would be proud, Claire,” his voice was soft, the lilt of his accent wrapping around the words and catching at her name. His fingers curled around her shoulder as he gave it a gentle squeeze.

Settling against his side, she sighed and felt the release of tension between her shoulder blades, feeling the weight of the last several weeks fade away. “Take me home- to Scotland.”

Jamie

Should he ask her now?

Wait til she gets through the door ye dolt.  

He’d prepared a late-night meal for her, too planned to be a casual affair. She’d know he was up to something.

Like memorizing lyrics, he rehearsed the words over and over in his head.

My flat is two blocks closer to the hospital. Ye’ve spent all yer nights here since Boston- almost two weeks now. Why pay for a flat when yer never there?

His thoughts jumped from one point to the next in a dizzying pace until all thoughts blurred and he was left with the simple truth-

I want ye here with me.

A smile played at his lips- to know she’d be here every night, to wake up to every morning… to find in the darkness between sleeping and waking. To start planning for things to come.

‘Home to me… is you.’

Her words echoed in the quiet moments of his day, finding strength as he thought about that night in Boston.

He was ready; that much he knew. He just hoped she was, too.

His fingers fidgeted with the spare key, eyeing the clock.

11:15pm. Surgery must have gone long.

After watching the rugby highlights again, he checked his phone- 12:45am, and a new text from Claire.

               Sorry love. Likely another hour to go. Save my spot.

His heart sank as he sighed, the hope of her delicate form materializing from around the corner disappeared. Picking up his phone, he tapped out a response.

               Dinna fash, Sassenach. Yer spot’s here waitin’ for ye.

Rubbing his bleary eyes, he shuffled from the couch to the kitchen to put away dinner. Leaning against the counter, he eyed the couch- the cushions still pressed to resemble his shape after hours of surfing the tube. His gaze traveled down the hallway in the direction of their bedroom.

I’ll rest my eyes- just for a few minutes.

Trudging the dozen steps to his bed, he collapsed face first into his pillow, consciousness slowly slipping away as darkness conjured sleep.

The ringtone jolted him awake. Fumbling for the phone on his nightstand, the time stared back at him: 4:10am.

Stretching his limbs, his hand searched for the wig of curls that should be sprawled on the pillow next to him but found it empty.

Squinting through the haze of sleep, there was nothing from Claire, but there were two missed calls.

His pulse quickened, and his blood ran cold. Geillis- at 2:17am and 4:09am. He blinked at the screen.

Why would she be calling him- and why now?

It had taken all of thirty seconds for him to grab his coat and shoes before he was out the door, down the stairwell, and onto the pavement in the direction of the hospital.

He stared at the doctor as he explained her injuries, his lips moving but the sounds barely registering.

She had stepped off the curb a moment too early.

A car rushing into the A&E driven by a frantic father-to-be with his wife in labor.

The vehicle struck her side.

Blunt force trauma due to the impact.

A cascade of words unraveled as he tried to process them.

Claire. She was hurt.

His chest constricted as he struggled to fill his lungs with air. The fluorescent lights of the waiting room flickered as his knees buckled. Stumbling backwards into a chair, his fingers gripped the wooden armrests, desperate for something -anything- to anchor him to the present.

Time slowly ticked by; seconds turned to minutes, minutes to hours. He perked to every pair of footsteps, hoping for an update or some word of her condition. Each fragile flutter of hope he felt swell in his chest was dashed as the sounds faded, echoing off the hospital walls.

His fingers drummed against his thigh, a constant rhythm that matched his heartbeat. Between slow, painful blinks he caught sight of fiery red hair, and he leapt to his feet- a sudden jolt of energy coursing through his veins.

“How is she?” His voice shook.

“She’s stable.” Geillis’s voice was husky, an octave lower than it should be. Her usual smirk was gone, replaced with lips drawn into a somber line. The look unsettled him. “Nasty concussion, they had a fitful time resetting the break in her arm. A few broken ribs, and some cuts and scrapes. She’s resting now.”

His stomach flipped as he conjured her face- lifeless, pale, and bleeding on the pavement. Every muscle in his body tensed, taut as a tightrope suspended somewhere between two limitless points. Once misstep and he’d come completely undone.

A wave of nausea flooded his senses, his eyes snapped shut as he heard faint sounds of tires screeching. The sound mixed with the thrumming of his pulse in his ears. He had seen this before. And he had been helpless. He’d sworn an oath of protection to Claire- that she was safe with him. He would have sacrificed his body to protect her. But here he was, hands shaking at his sides in a waiting room while she lay in a hospital bed, alone.

“Can I take ye to her?” Her voice was quiet, soft as if trying to tame a feral animal.

He nodded almost imperceptibly and shuffled behind her, barely allowing a half-step between them.

The beep of the monitors filled his ears, his eyes found her face immediately. A cut marred her perfect ivory skin lining the curve of her cheek.

Stepping slowly, cautiously, he eyed the empty chair next to her.

Geillis’s eyes traveled to the empty seat, her words urging him forward, “She’ll want ye here when she wakes.”

When she wakes.

He grasped onto the word- when- and watched it slowly morph, the letters contorting and disappearing until a thought grabbed hold of him and persisted.

If she wakes.

His eyes traveled down the lines of her thin frame, angles long ago memorized but suddenly fleeting. The urge to remember every detail overcame him. Cautiously, his fingers drifted to her hand, slowly taking it in his own. Warm and soft, he felt her blood pulsing through her veins and he exhaled in relief.

She was real, immediate, alive.

The sound of humming perked his ears and he looked around. Finding the room empty, he realized it was the sound of his own voice.

That song.

“Sassenach…” he cleared his throat to stop it from shaking. “The thing is… I’ve got this song.”

He waited, checking to see if she’d wake up. After two heartbeats and a deafening silence, he swallowed hard and continued.

“I’ve been hearin’ this melody since the night I met ye.” Gently stroking her hand, soft skin almost translucent in this light, his fingers trembled. She was too still, too quiet. He longed to feel her fingers lace into his. His voice was hollow, “I just need ye to wake up and help me with the lyrics.”

He conjured the words that had been seared into his heart- words that brought the sensation of her lips and the warmth of her touch when he needed them most. The words had flooded the still moments in his day, tangled themselves in his thoughts, but he couldn’t quite reach out and touch them and make them real.

The sound of the heart monitor pierced through the silence.

“A calm sea once clear blue,” he started, pausing to take a shaky breath as his throat tightened. “Ye came to me and turned my world to whisky.”

Her face at the bar filled his vision –– her cheeks were so rosy, the whisky in her eyes so clear.

Steeling himself, he whispered, “Taste you on my tongue, feel you on my skin…” 

The first time they had kissed – his hand molded to the soft curve of her cheek, the taste of her breath, crisp and warm.

“A bird in flight, black lines against ivory rippling across the bay.”

That heron etched into her skin, the memories she entrusted to him.

"Nothing is lost- only changed. But please…” his voice cracked as a wall of tears threatened to blur his vision. Thoughts skipped across his mind as the last of the lyrics danced on his tongue, his plea to her, “Please stay.”