#dracobeingaqueen

[whyisislikethat]

draco: how cool would it be that all humans are actually nocturnal animals and over time we could have developed night vision but some weak asshole from the stone age decided to sleep at night?

harry: i know u dont have a sleep schedule but are u okay????

[whyisislikethat]

Heights and Husbands

Harry potter was afraid of heights. He used to love the feeling of being above everything, sitting on top of the Dursleys’ house , the wind in his face, blowing away every worry he had. He loved it even more when he discovered quidditch, the rush of flying was indescribable, it used to thrill him every single time he rose up to the sky. 

But slowly, heights became something like a taboo. The escape from privet drive, Hedwig dying, Moody dying. The astronomy tower, Dumbledore dying. The numerous escapades during the horcrux hunt on brooms (and dragons), more people dying.

He wasn't scared of the heights, he was scared of what the heights brought, death mainly (nightmares too). No one commented on his reluctance to play quidditch after the war, or on the fact that he stopped doing his daily laps around the pitch. When he graduated, there were questions asking if he would pursue a professional quidditch career, he denied all of the offers, choosing to take a few years off with his boyfriend Draco. 

His Husband Draco, he corrected himself with a contempt smirk on his face. Draco was the one beautiful thing he had with life for a long time. After the war, they depended so heavily on each other that it raised many eyebrows, but Harry didn't carry he loved Draco with everything he had.

He turned his head over to face Draco, absorbing the absolute beauty that is his. Today was the second to last day on their honeymoon before they would go back to magical Britain and take up their promised positions as professors at Hogwarts. Today was also the day that Draco had taken up full responsibility for planning, not that he didn't plan the days before as well, but today he insisted on it, refusing to let Harry in on any of the details.

Musing on what his husband could be up to, he absently traced his fingers along the spine of Draco’s, slowly rousing him to begin their day together.

He was excited for today, and Draco took forever to get ready.

 /break\

It was around two when Draco gave his odd request of blindfolding him, he obliged, of course, the morning was spent perfectly already and he couldn't wait to see what else Draco had planned. He happily allowed Draco to tie the blindfold around his eyes and apparate him away. 

Instantly, something in him shifted, it was as if the location had triggered a warning system inside of him. The wind in his face, the unsteadiness in his footing, he was way above ground and he did not like it one bit. 

He could feel his blindfold being slowly taken off as Draco came to wrap his arms around him, steadying him. His suspicions were proven to be correct as he surveyed his environment around him. 

A thin bridge connected the two mountains, beneath it a beautiful blue lagoon flowed peacefully. He appreciated the view very much so, but as he saw someone plummeting to the water from the bridge, he immediately reached towards his wand to cast an arresto momentum. 

Before the spell could come out of his mouth, he felt his husband's hand on his, as he whispered into his ears, “wait.”

He obliged his husband, hoping that there wouldn’t be any death today, Draco wouldn't let someone die...right?

Focusing on the person instead of the memories that come with the situation, he realized that there was a rope tied around their feet. Was this some weird muggle torture devise invented when he was in the wizarding world?

Why did Draco bring him here? Didn't he know he hated heights? They were on their honeymoon for god’s sake!

And then it all clicked, it was a bungy jump. Something that he had long crossed off his bucket list once fifth year ended, his eyes zeroed in on the sign on his right, the Bloukrans Bridge, Western Cape, South Africa.

Draco loosened his grip on his arms once he realized that the statue was not going to be broken and shifted on his feet nervously. 

“Why...did you bring us here?”

“The war took something away from you and replaced it with fear. Harry you love flying. Don’t give me that look I know you do. And the war took that away from you, Remember how we used to have seeker matches on the pitch and… I’m not going to force you if you don’t want to but I know you miss flying… and I know you can bring yourself to go up...and so this is me offering to do it together...conquering your childhood dreams and your teenage nightmares?”

And he was right, Draco was always right. Harry longed to fly again, he longed to fly again without the screams plaguing him. And maybe this was the way?

“I know it may seem it be sudden, the whole plunging towards the water affair... but I thought we could approach this Gryffindor-style, you know? Going all in without regard for absolutely anything? Your style?”

Harry smirked at the subtle jab at him. 

“There’s even a couple packages if you're up for it?”

Shakily, Harry took Draco’s hand and pulled him to the counter, signing them up for the highest jump of them all.

“That one Harry? Are you sure your frail heart can take that?”

“Gryffindor-style, right? Scared Malfoy-Potter?”

“You wish Potter-Malfoy!”

[whyisislikethat]

Harry: Draco, we need to talk

Draco: Really? What's wrong Harry?

Harry: I just got a call from Teddy's school, he's being teaching the kids to say 'shit'

Draco: Oh that wasn't me, I say 'fuck'

[whyisislikethat]

At the Slytherin table

Draco: I wonder if Potter is gay

Pansy: I thought you pride yourself at having a good gaydar

Draco: I have no idea anymore. My gaydar gets confused with my pleasebegaydar.

Blaise: lmao me, i need someone with a good gaydar to run it on the golden trio

*(three gay sighs/three gays sigh)

[whyisislikethat]

Blaise: A five letter word for people who are unintelligent

Draco: Harry

Harry: Draco

Blaise: Sometimes I question my choices in life

[whyisislikethat]

During his trial

(draco under veritaserum)

questioner: what did you desire the most during the war, Mr. Malfoy?

draco: (turns to harry) you actually, im gay

(chaotic bi panic by harry)

[whyisislikethat]

In the car

(Draco plugs in the aux cord and I'm Coming Out by Diana Ross plays)

draco:

harry: ... are you ... you know...

draco: ...are you...?

(harry's hand slowly slipping towards draco's)

harry: ...yea

(camera zooms in on draco's disaster gay face)

[whyisislikethat]

I've decided to take your intense hatred towards me as flirting

-draco, to harry

[whyisislikethat]

Height Difference

“Potter! Looks like puberty has yet to hit you at age 17?” Harry turned around to look at Malfoy, look up at Malfoy, “Still as short as you were when you were a mere firstie, aren’t you?”

Harry fought the blush coming up on his cheeks, he hated it when Draco teased him about his height. But it was inevitable, with it being one of Draco’s favourite taunts ever since they were dating. Draco was a half a head taller than him and he loved reminding him of it everyday. 

Pushing Draco further from him so their difference wouldn't be so apparent, he resolved to find a way to grow taller than Draco, or at least lessen their height difference, they had magic for a reason right?

“Watch it Malfoy, your words might come back to bite you in the back!”

 /break\

Harry found himself being put on a vigorous routine by Hermione to facilitate his growth. Sleep at ten sharp and wake up at six, a full eight hours of sleep. Then, laps around Hogwarts ground, jump-roping, followed by a short session of yoga. His meals now contained a healthy portion of proteins, whole grains and vegetables.

He had a feeling that Hermione’s participation in his plan to increase in height was mreo out of motivation for him to shed the abuse from the Dursleys rather than spite Draco. But as long as the end result was that he could gloat about his new height in front of Draco, he didn't mind and Hermione on his side was always helpful. 

He liked the routine too, it made him feel like there was something to look forward to each day, it helped him cope with the sudden red light the end of the war brought to him. Don't get him wrong, Voldemort dying was great, but with the last year being filled with a marathon of one death threat after another, when everything stopped he felt restless. This was good for him, plus he was getting ripped.

/break\

A month and a half into this new muggle-wizard mixed routine and he was seeing progress already, mentally and physically. Harry Potter was no longer the scrawny boy who wandered into Hogwarts halls seven years ago, he had finally grown into his body.

Casting a spell to measure his height again, he sighed, looking at the same number that had been staring at him for the past week or so. Hermione had told him that the growth spurt would stop at some point of another, and he was fine with it, if the height he stopped at was taller than Draco. 

But luck was yet again not on his side, he was an inch shorter than Draco, which meant he needed at least two more inches to have a notable height difference than Draco. Damn.

Carrying his books, he set off towards the library, hoping to catch Hermione on one of her many visits there to ask for any more pointers that could help him gain the last few inches he needed.

“Harry! Wait!” Stopping in his steps towards the library, he saw Ginny coming out of the Gryffindor dorms. “ You’ve stopped growing.”

“ A very rude way to start a conversation, but yes thank you for pointing that out.” Harry replied, irritated that someone had pointed it out to him, was it that obvious?

Rolling her eyes at him, Ginny thrust a bottle of green liquid towards him, “ You’ve been trying to out grow Malfoy at height right? And I’ve kept an eye out for your progress, you haven’t grown at all in the last week.”

“Is there a point to this conversation or are you just going to continue upsetting me?”

“ This is a growth potion, it’ll help you gain like two, three inches instantly. That’s what you need right? A few more inches to be taller than Malfoy?”

“Why do you have this? Why didn't Hermione give it to me first place?”

“ It isn’t exactly the best option to go for, the Ministry banned it some time ago. There’s an ingredient inside that might cause hallucination if you have too much of it. That’s why it was banned. People wanted to grow taller desperately and over-consumed, But you won’t do it, yeah?”

“ Yea...yea, i survived Voldemort… I’m not dying because of some stupid potion. But why?”

“ Harry, you’re like a brother to me and now that you're dating Malfoy, I can't directly assault him. So this is me, assaulting his ego through making you taller than him, like a side ‘fuck you’!”

/break\

He paced in the abandoned classroom he had asked Draco to meet him at. After ingesting the potion Ginny had given him and marvelling at the effects it brought, he had immediately asked Draco to meet him here to gloat.

He couldn't decide on the one-liner to use to show-off his new height, there were just so many options. But apparently he didn't have time to make a choice, Draco had arrived. And without a solid line to go on, Harry decided he would just stand and let Draco stare.

And stare Draco did, Draco stared up at him, a memory that Harry needed to possess forever. But he didn't seem too bothered by the fact that Harry was taller than him, in fact Draco maintained that same ol in infuriating smirk on his face, sauntered over to him and planted a firm kiss on his lips.

Leaning down into the kiss, Harry marveled at the need to lean down to kiss Draco, but he was confused, why wasn't Draco more concerned with the new difference in height?

Slightly reeling from the spectacular kiss he was given, Harry watched doe-eyed as Draco pulled a potion out from his pockets?

The potion was green and looked exactly liked the one Ginny had gifted him. No, no,no. He watched horrified as Draco gulped down the potion and grew exactly three inches taller. 

No.

No fucking way. 

“ You really thought that you could be taller than me Potter?” Draco’s smirk seemed to grow larger as Harry had to look up him again, “ I had a back-up plan all along, I overheard Ginerva’s plan to give you the potion and decided that it would be smart to have one myself.”

“No.”

“Yes, Harry. But I must say I am appreciating your new physique.”

Pissed off that he would be stuck shorter than Draco forever, he pouted petulantly at his boyfriend. Well, he tried to pout at his boyfriend, before his lips were captured in a kiss by said boyfriend, before he had to tilt his head up to kiss said boyfriend again.

Damn it.

(if anyone has prompts please send them to me! my box is open! and im bored in quarantine)

[whyisislikethat]

Sixth year

(the Slytherins are all tired of draco malfoy's obsession with potter)

Pansy: (smirking)here we are at the slytherin dorms

Blaise: (smirking as well)Why don't you give the password and we can head in, draco?

Draco: I'd rather not

Painting: password please?

(after seventeen minutes, with pansy,blaise and an impressive amount of slytherins judgement and prompting)

Draco: harrypleasegivemeattentionandsex

[whyisislikethat]

Draco: Potter you wanker, why cant you do anything right?

Harry: Would it kill you to be polite for once?

Draco: I not interested in being polite. Or heterosexual

Harry: FOR GODS SAKE I KNOW YOUR GAY YOU DONT HAVE TO COME OUT ONCE EVERY TWO DAYS

[whyisislikethat]

computer: please input your password

draco: harrypotter

computer: your password is too weak. please try again

draco(smirks): POTTER I TOLD YOU SO

[whyisislikethat]

Draco x Muggle Pop

Hermione: What's Draco doing?

Harry: (sighs) I introduced him to muggle pop, specifically Billie Eilish and now he won't stop.

Draco: (turns around, teartracks stained black from his recent reenactment of when the party's over) i just kinda wish you were gay:(

*silence*

Hermione: He knows you're married right?

[whyisislikethat]

The Newlywed game

Hermione: Next question, when did Draco come out as gay to all of us?

Harry: *internally sweating* shitshitshitshit

Draco: are u kidding me that should be the happiest day of your life

[whyisislikethat]

AU that harry is private investigator

but he has no business

besides the occasional i lost my cat cases

and draco is his neighbour who has a h u g e crush on him

but he's also a gay disaster™

so he became a crime lord to give harry business

he doesnt actually hurt anybody its all just really stupid things

and harry gets hired to find the EVIL CRIMIE MASTER

but the thing is that they're friends

and harry rants to draco about his cases

so everytime harry goes on a raid

draco is one step ahead of him

but he leaves behind little evidence and taunts for harry to find

and this goes on for like a year or so

but one day

O N E D A Y

harry just walks into dracos apartment and finds him criminaling

and hes like

......

and draco becomes dramatic

and becomes the weirdest crime lord youve seen

'ah potter i see youve discovered my lair'

'you cannot stop me i will kidnap all the cats in the world'

*they kiss*

[whyisislikethat]

nobody:

draco: you ever had a great day and suddenly your parents say something totally uncalled for and ruins your day?

(everyone else nodding)

harry: honestly cant relate