#dr. edwin just

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #296: HEARTS of OAK... and HEADS to MATCH!

October, 1988

The Beginning of the END!

Yes, good, let this end.

This run is a bummer.

But hey, the Hearts of Oak... and Heads to Match title is a Pogo reference. That’s fun!

What’s with all the quote titles lately?

Anyway, back to Dr Druid putting Black Knight out of his misery. And mine.

It is a sad state when the Avengers have been reduced down to four and half is trying to kill the other half because Druid is an asshole.

Last times in Avengers: Hoo boy, where to start.

Dr Druid has been having ominous sex dreams about a lady who is secretly Nebula Kang and will later be revealed to be even more secretly Ravonna but its not written like she is now but honestly she’s not written like she’s Nebula either.

Under the influence of sex dreams, Dr Druid undermined Avengers chairwoman Captain Marvel Monica Rambeau, made her stupid herself almost to death, and then used psychic voter fraud to get himself made the new chairman.

Nebula Kang Ravonna needs the Avengers to find some super-duper-secret-weapon that the Council of Kangs is looking for. Playing on Dr Druid’s arrogance and power fantasies, she has him pretty thoroughly under her thumb and he can keep Black Knight and She-Hulk under his own thumb. But Thor resists the psychic whammy so Nebula Kang tries to get Thor killed by robot T. Rex from the future that’s more than meets the eye.

She-Hulk and Black Knight shake the psychic control when Druid tells them to ignore Thor’s calls for assistance. Black Knight manages to escape and help Thor beat the robot T. Rex notTransformer but She-Hulk is left in Dr Druid and Nebula Kang’s clutches.

Also, Black Knight fell out of an airplane and into a lake and is under the effects of a turbo curse so he had to go to the hospital.

And Thor isn’t the type to patiently sit in the waiting room reading old New Yorkers.

After Thor finishes walking his way through hospital staff trying to get him to chill, he finds Black Knight’s hospital bed empty.

A doctor shows up, lightly chides Thor for not chilling, and tells Thor that since Black Knight’s life wasn’t in danger but he was too dangerous to keep in a hospital bed, they let him go.

He’s out back, in the parking lot. Being accosted by reporters who have somehow already heard about the thing where Black Knight’s body is as sharp as a sword.

Apparently, between issues, Black Knight sliced right through a hospital bed and several floors to land in the basement.

That sure would have been fun to ACTUALLY SEE.

Bah.

Thor has not much patience for the first amendment.

Thor: “Better a company of Frost Giants than a gagle of reporters!”

He swings Mjolnir around to kick up a strong wind and obscure himself and Dane, Black Knight, from view.

Thor asks Dane how he’s doing. And Dane recap/confirms that his curse is still cursing him.

He’s fused into his armor and his hand slices through stuff like a sword. He can control it if he’s awake though. In case you wanted to be a clever dick, flipping through the pages and going hey why isn’t he cutting through stuff there, why isn’t Dr Druid filleted like a fish?

Oh. Speaking of which.

Black Knight tells Thor that Dr Druid is a dick, he’s using mind control on the Avengers, he tried to stop Dane from coming to Thor’s aid, and that he has She-Hulk bound to a chair.

Thor and Black Knight hammer-throw-fly off to Hydrobase and the reporter who is a winking reference to Superman shows up again, although his hair is the wrong color.

Hi, Clark, random journalist.

In Simonson’s Thor run, which is actually good, Thor in his new secret identity of guy in glasses and ponytail bumped into a journalist named Clark. They both almost sorta seemed to recognize each other.

So a journalist named Clark saying that he imagines Thor puts his hair in a ponytail when he’s off-duty is an extension of that joke.

And now I’ve explained it and its surely just as funny as if you’d gotten the reference without help.

Back at Hydrobase, Dr Druid, Nebula Kang, She-Hulk, and Jarvis hi Jarvis! see the CNN report showing Thor and Black Knight leaving the hospital.

Nebula Kang is basically in-charge now, as she starts making plans on how to deal with Thor not being as dead as she'd prefer.

She asks She-Hulk if she can handle Thor.

She-Hulk: "No problem. Those blond brains are strictly Stone Age vintage. It would never occur to him to watch out for a woman!"

??? What

And Dr Druid will handle Black Knight. Er, I mean, he'll handle correcting Black Knight's misunderstanding of the situation! Haha we're all friends here!

Meanwhile, god dammit we're still doing the Council- my mistake, the Cross-Time Kang Korps plot.

Beard Kang is announcing to the Kollected Kangs that this entire organization is a waste of time and that instead of doing anything productive, they've all been canoodling with Nebula Kang. Yes, that's right. All of them.

The best and maybe only good thing that comes out of this entire subplot is that when Beard Kang brings this up, all of the Kangs try to look nonchalant and then blame every other Kang for being a horny idiot while claiming to be above reproach themselves.

Beard Kang: "I can't stand it. The cream of the time travelers. Without an ounce of brain among them."

Beard Kang takes Fred Kang and another Kang who the fuck can tell what his cute nickname is and heads off to handle the Nebula Kang problem himself. Because, again, this entire large Kang Kollective are a bunch of horny idiots who think with their dicks.

Are you enjoying getting to do a Kang story, Simonson? Is this everything you imagined it would be?

I'm sour because nothing done so far has justified bring Kang back so soon after the last big Kang story that also used a big Kang organization.

Back at the A-Plot, Thor and Black Knight arrive at Hydrobase.

The Heavy Metal story made it look like it had way more buildings and none of those quite look like Avengers Mansion, which was airlifted to the island.

Black Knight warns that Dr Druid will be expecting them but Thor says its no big because they've got a Thor. It's him. He's the Thor.

Plus, the Avengers STILL haven't fully rebuilt from the attack of Heavy Metal so most of the defense systems aren't online for Druid to use against them.

Then they see She-Hulk standing over a knocked out Dr Druid.

This would work a lot better on the audience if we hadn't seen She-Hulk planning how to beat up Thor with Nebula Kang.

She-Hulk claims she busted free of that bondage chair and whalloped Druid but good.

She-Hulk: "He wasn't much of a gentleman while you boys were gone. So I didn't feel like being much of a lady."

BUT TWAS RUSE!

Dr Druid jumps up and FZAPTs the back of Black Knight's neck, claiming it will make him much more reasonable.

While Thor is shocked by the sudden attack on his pal, his friend, his rotten soldier, She-Hulk puts a device on Thor's neck as well.

Black Knight tries to fight back against Dr Druid but the doctor just turns up the power on the device and Black Knight falls with a FZZAPT!

Thor tries to fight She-Hulk but the device make him uncoordinated and she's able to knock him around.

She-Hulk: "I've been waiting a long time to knock the arrogance out of you, Thor!"

??? Have you?

She-Hulk holds Thor down long enough for Dr Druid to put additional devices on the thunder god. A total of three "mindbenders."

Dr Druid: "When they awaken, they will be real Avengers at last! Completely obedient!"

Eat a stump, Druid.

She-Hulk is skeptical that the mindbenders will work on someone as stubborn as Thor but blue Nebula Kang assures She-Hulk that the mindbenders work great. Why, they're working so well on She-Hulk (that explains that), the Avenger wouldn't hesitate to jump off a cliff if Nebula asked.

Meanwhile? Beard Kang and co are watching what just happened on a monitor. He's very concerned that Nebula Kang has already taken over the Avengers.

Because, dammit, the Cross-Time Kang Korps was supposed to be doing that!

The Korp really does suck ass at its one mission.

Fred Kang asks for more information since he did bring Nebula's treachery to Beard Kang's notice. He could be more helpful if he knew more.

Beard Kang agrees that Fred has earned the right to know.

Beard Kang: "We have discovered something so big, so dangerous, that even we Kangs could not rival it for power. A Celestial. A renegade Celestial who fell from grace but not from power... and who has, through means we cannot begin to guess at, constructed a weapon mighty enough to threaten the entire space-time structure of the Omniverse! It must be a wonderful thing... and WE want it!

I hate omniverse as a term. Prefer multi-verse. I think omniverse might be the multi-verse of multi-verses but that’s really way too big to be stakes.

Anyway.

This supposed paragon of weapons is located 20 years in the future of where the Avengers comics are in this issue. And in that period of 20 years in the future, there is a massive time bubble "some fifteen years long"!

Cool. That's. Entirely unhelpful as a descriptor.

Huh. Just struck me how history and/or comic book plots repeat themselves.

In the current Avengers comics, the big plot is Kang wanting to get some secret prize hidden in a time bubble and needing the Avengers' help to do it.

Someone must specifically be a Simonson's Avengers fan... but why?

Anyway, there's so much text. The exposition dump is unbelievable.

The Cross-Time Kang Korp Council Whatever got images of the time bubble at the cost of three Kangs. Apparently by the three Kangs driving a ship right into the bubble and exploding.

There's weird probability flux around the bubble so that trying to enter it causes the violent destruction of the craft or for it to just cease to exist.

What the Kang Council Korp Afterschool Club knows is that the only people known to succeed in entering the bubble are the Avengers.

Which Avengers? The current Avengers? Who knows. Probability flux. But definitely a team of Avengers yup definitely won't be only very technically true!

The only thing Beard Kang knows for sure about the group of definitely Avengers is that Thor is with them.

And if Nebula Kang kills Thor for being too hard to control... well, the Kangs will never get the super-duper-pooper weapon thats at the heart of the time bubble.

So here's a weird twist. The Kangs have to protect the Avengers!

Huh! Weird!

(If you'd led with that and had A Kang hanging around the team, I might be more enthused about this plotline, gonna be honest. Kang has to protect the Avengers is a great premise.)

Back at Hydrobase, Nebula Kang is telling the Avengers the score.

Nebula Kang: "You, my salves, you are the key! The Kangs were prepared to wait until the Avengers gathered themselves together to unravel the enigma of the mysterious time-bubble. The Kangs think because they can travel through time, there is no need to move quickly, to strike when the iron is hot! They think they can simply wait until the fire is ready! But I have seized the moment and by the time the Kangs realize what is happening... it will be too late, even for them!"

Mindbent Thor urges that they delay no longer and go get Nebula that weapon!

Of course, he also doesn't really know how they'd even go about that. Mjolnir can't time travel anymore right now.

But Nebula Kang boasts that she's a Mistress of Time because of all the Kangs she slept with and stole technology from.

Nebula Kang: "The corridors of all ages are mine to walk as I will. And it was all so easy. You'd think that none of the Kangs had ever seen a woman before."

This is the plot Simonson decided to bring Nebula back for.

Nebula Kang further exposits (because villains love exposition) that she didn't know about the Council of Cross-Time Kangs (I thought it was the Cross-Time Kang Korp, make up your fucking mind) until she met her first Kang and knew that she could exploit the goober and his technology. And since the Kang was one of the council, she found out about more Kangs that she could seduce.

So she killed her first Kang and took his place.

Real quick though.

I guess this is where Nebula ended up after the Beyonder teleported her.

But she doesn't mention the Beyonder or having been fighting the Avengers previously or that she was teleported to a random space-time and just happened to run into Kang.

If this is picking up Nebula after the previous story, it doesn't feel like it! It doesn't even feel like specifically Nebula, who was mostly a space pirate trading on Thanos' name and his war crime of a spaceship to exploit the Skrull civil war.

Now she's sex infiltrating a secret Kang council that shouldn't exist based on the last Kang story and seeking a weapon that can threaten the OMNIVERSE.

I'm not saying that a character can't shift like that but there's a disconnect. We don't even know for sure that it was being teleported by the Beyonder that threw Nebula in Kang's path.

Which is a shame because getting thrown across space by an unfathomable cosmic entity in a silly outfit after getting embarrassed by the Avengers could be great motivation for Nebula to want to up her game. Get a weapon so powerful that no one could ever mess with her again. And if she can mess with the Avengers on her way, so much the better.

But we get an unexplained Nebula shift into sexmurdering her way to cosmic power and a time prophecy that the Avengers can get into a time bubble for some reason.

I guess it is a good thing that this will be retconned. Because its not a great use of your Nebulas.

Anyway.

On top of all the time technology that she stole with seduction, she seduced information about the Great Weapon and what was needed to get it from the Council and/or Korp.

Maybe there's something to the idea that Nebula Kang is motivated to prevent further Beyonder-esque humiliations because she goes on a rant.

Nebula Kang: "Throughout the ages, power has rested in the hands of the many! The greatest armies, the strongest armadas, the most powerful airships... And though they are terrible to reckon with, such forces are ultimately vulnerable to destruction from within. In time, the struggle of individuals to control such great power ruptures the use of the power! And the entity collapses under its own weight. But what if the power, the living power itself, were in the hands of a single individual and her mindbent slaves? Instead of a chain of command, there is only the word... the word of a living and vengeful god! And the word would be 'death'! In my hands, no being in all the Omniverse would be safe! Neither great fleets of starships nor impregnable fortresses of adamantium would be proof against me!"

How do you know what adamantium is?

Anyway.

I think that's a Cobra man, perhaps a commander obscured by falling debris. After the notTransformers reference the previous issue, I'm not discounting it.

Thor asks for more information about this mysterious weapon but Nebula isn't trusting that information to anyone, not even to mindbent slaves.

She does say that she may have to destroy a universe, to prove that she'd do it.

Does that work as a threat? People can't usually see the destruction of other universes. You can see a nearby city get razed or hear about a calamity befalling another country but its very hard to hear about another universe.

It took a bit of digging for the people in Marvel's march to Secret Wars 2015 to realize that's what they were dealing with.

Nebula Kang: "That weapon is the birthright of the granddaughter of Thanos... and I shall have it!"

Then, Nebula Kang puts Black Knight in charge of refitting a Quinjet with her stolen technology.

Thor is helping carry a variable locus generator over to the Quinjet but Dr Druid yoinks it out of his hands with PSYCHIC POWERS so he can be smug.

Dr Druid: "You see, Avengers, the measure of a man is the development of his psychic facilities... And those of Doctor Druid have been developed to the peak of perfection. Which is why I am the leader of this group. Mind over matter, my dear thunder god. As simple as that."

Which leads Thor to think bitterly about how Dr Druid is showing him up in front of the Nebula, who they all serve.

Even though they're all being controlled by Nebula, Thor is still tired of Dr Druid's shit.

BACK AT THE KANG KLUBHOUSE, the Kangs have decided to send some Kangs to stop Nebula Kang.

They gotta send some Kangs because the Time Bubble is making it hard to spy on the time period she’s messing around in.

The council chooses Beard Kang to represent the Wisdom of the Kangs (lol), Fred Kang to represent the knowledge of the era, and Kang from Earth Mesozoic-24 because he’s one of their finest warriors.

IS HE A DINOSAUR?

Under his mask, I mean. He looks like a generic Kang. Its Beard Kang and two generic Kangs. I know that one of them is Specialist Boy Fred but I can’t pick him out of a crowd.

Beard Kang says they need to avoid alerting the Avengers to Kangs interfering in the time stream because they don’t know how the Avengers will eventually get into the Time Bubble or even which ones will. They don’t want to risk injuring or killing any of the Avengers.

One imagines that interference might also change how time plays out in other ways.

(I wonder if this explains what eventually happens)

Beard Kang also says that since Nebula Kang betrayed the Cross-Time Kang Corps Klubhouse Corporation so she gets the worst of punishments. They’re gonna remove all traces of her from history.

Take that.

Meanwhile, on Earth-616 Time: When this comic was published.

The Avengers and Nebula Kang are all in the Quinjet getting ready to leave.

As security/a dick move, she orders Jarvis to stay where he is until they come back. And to not reveal anything to anyone. “You will die of a heart attack if necessary first.”

Fiend. Evil.

Jarvis is a delightful guy and you are a rude.

The Quinjet skreacckt! BOOM!s away with its super special FTL drive.

And immediately after, the three Kangs show up.

Mesozoic Kang is fascinated that this is a Jarvis because the Jarvis he knows is so different.

Beard Kang calls Mesozoic Kang a lizard SO I GUESS HE IS A DINOSAUR?

Would it have killed to give him a cooler design than generic then?

One of the two generic Kangs demands Jarvis tell them where the Avengers are but Jarvis refuses. The other generic Kang suggests breaking the mindbender that is mind bending Jarvis’ mind but Beard Kang says that if they didn’t properly decrypt it, the removal would kill him and they still wouldn’t know anything.

And Beard Kang’s time probe can’t find the Avengers because they’re hidden by multiple probabilities. Probably because of the infinite improbability drive variable locus generator.

Beard Kang declares well dangit they’ll just have to go after the Avengers no matter the danger!

Not sure how they’re going to do that if they don’t know where the Avengers are but hey. But hey. Kangs work in dumb ways.

Meanwhile in the future, yes meanwhile in the future, the time turbulence buffets the Quinjet.

It even looks like the Quinjet will be shaken apart.

Why, there’s even a red light on the left existential turbine! The Quinjet drops to 94% existence! Good thing they can increase power to the redundancy generator!

I’m sure this all makes sense.

But with Nebula Kang’s insistence that they either make it through or die, they do make it through.

Not through the Time Bubble, no. Not yet. But through the time turbulence around the Time Bubble.

That’s sure. A bubble.

I guess.

In fairness, I don’t know how you’d visualize a bubble, in time, and also in space so it may as well look like stained glass. More interesting to look at.

The new issue ends this specific arc but you know how it is. We’re alternating over to West Coast Avengers.

Follow @essential-avengers​ because what if this story suddenly gets really, REALLY good? Its hypothetically possible! Like and reblog and comment, maybe. I love the feedback.

[jicklet]

all I'm saying is we can add to the list of things the Fanson breakup robbed us of two Fan Fans gushing about George.

[demonic0angel]

Inmate Dan part 2 where he meets the other orange jumpsuit "friends" in Arkham Asylum?

Part 1

"Ooh, Wraith!" Harley called, pointing to Jonathan. "That's Scarecrow! We call 'em Johnny!"

"No, you don't," he spat. "What're you doing here, Harley?"

"That's Dr. Quinzel to you, Dr. Crane!" Harley said faux-pompously, sticking out her tongue.

Wraith paused and his eyes lit up. "Wait, Dr. Quinzel? Youngest psychiatrist in the tri-state area? And Dr. Crane? Professor at Gotham University?"

Ivy leaned closer to Wraith and hissed a warning, "Stay away from him. He once drove two inmates to suicide only by speaking. He's dangerous."

Wraith grinned and his teeth flashed with fangs as he stared at Jonathan with interest. "Hello, Doctor," Wraith said, his deep voice almost a purr, "Could I get an autograph, please?”

Jonathan stared at him cooly and then he nodded once, although he looked slightly confused.

Wraith slipped a hand inside of himself, making everyone around him pause in shock as he then pulled out a textbook and a pen. He handed it to Jonathan, who stared at the textbook with a strange look before signing it. As Wraith placed it back inside of himself, he pulled out another book and let Harley sign it.

Delightedly, she realized that it was a book that she published.

“You’re a meta,” Jonathan said. “You seem powerful, so why didn’t you escape? How come you were captured?”

Wraith shrugged with a light smile. “My sister told me to relax and enjoy myself here. She also told me to explore what I want. I heard that there was a particularly hated criminal in here, so I wanted to see what the fuss was all about, so I let myself be captured.” He sighed a little. “My little birdie also personally handcuffed me, so I couldn’t get out.”

Harley tilted her head, catching onto a piece of information. “Who was it that you were interested in?”

“Someone named Clown? Jester? No, it was….”

“Joker,” everyone besides Wraith muttered disdainfully. They were all criminals who did violent things, but no one was as vile as the Joker.

Wraith hummed and nodded. “Yes, him. I wanted to see what he looked like. Thank you for signing the book, Dr. Quinzel, Dr. Crane. My sister is a huge fan and she’s studying psychiatry right now.”

Both Jonathan and Harley smiled. “That’s good!” Harley squealed. “Tell her that I’m rooting for her!”

Wraith nodded with a small, genuine smile, and Harley then dragged him around to introduce him to the other inmates, Ivy following behind as a silent guard.

He was surprisingly civil. Wraith treated Waylon with no fear or disgust despite his appearance, chatted calmly about law with Harvey (since his sister also studied law. She seemed to be a sort of genius), exchanged riddles and puzzles with Edwin, and was generally pleasant and even friendly to the other inmates.

However, he couldn’t hide his true nature to Harley. Wraith didn't allow anyone to touch him unless he initiated it. Although he seemed calm and collected, he was unable to hide his disgust and hatred of the general population. It seemed as though in general, he hated everyone around him. He had no fear of the guards and even seemed amused by the more frightening prisoners of Arkham Asylum. Although he was polite, it was clear that he hated them all, even Harley and Ivy.

Harley was utterly fascinated.

Eventually, after exploring the yard where the many inmates were lingering around, Wraith asked, “Where’s the Joker?”

Ivy answered, “He’s in solitude. He’s too dangerous to be around.”

Wraith frowned. “Where’s that?”

Harley giggled and said, “You wanna see him that badly? Maybe I’ll show you!” She wanted to see more of Wraith’s reactions, to study him like a bug. She also wanted to see what it would take to make Wraith enjoy her and Ivy’s presences.

“Harley!” Ivy scolded. “I don’t want you around him anymore! He’s a hazard to your safety and health!”

“It’s fineeee,” Harley said, dancing around her playfully, “I can take it! I just wanna show Wraith what he looks like! I promise not to fall for Mr. J anymore! Pleaseee, Ivy?”

In the end, Ivy relented and they snuck to the area of the asylum where the Joker stayed.

They dodged past the lazy guards and eventually, they were in front of the Joker’s cell. Harley stepped in front of his cage, suppressing a shiver as she looked inside.

There he was, her worst nightmare, wrapped up in a straitjacket and already watching her with a cold, cold gaze and a wide smile.

Why had she done this again?

The Joker laughed when she saw her. “Harley!” He crooned. “Here to release me? I knew you’d come around.”

This time, Harley couldn’t suppress the full shudder. “No thanks!” She snapped. “I’m not your lil doll anymore! You can’t order me around!”

The Joker’s friendly expression immediately twisted into a glare as he snarled. “I made you! And I can break you. You’re nothing but a harlequin, a toy for me to do what I want with! You’re nothing without me!”

Ivy bristled and she moved to pull back Harley, who was almost in tears, when Wraith moved first. He phased through the metal doors and with one casual click of bones breaking, the Joker laid slumped into his cell, quieted forever.

Wraith stepped back out and both Ivy and Harley scrambled to look back inside, recognizing the sound of a neck snapping, but unable to comprehend how easily it took.

Harley sputtered, “W-W-What?!”

Wraith shrugged.

“He was annoying. And I hate clowns.”

[asidian]

Alright. It is time. Buckle up.

Why you should be watching Dead Boy Detectives: the targeted-specifically-at my-readers edition.

Meet the leads, our two ghost boys:

Edwin Payne: Fussy, repressed intellectual type from the Edwardian era. Exceedingly gay for his partner and best friend. Tortured in hell for seventy years on a technicality because he was ritually sacrificed as a prank gone wrong. Endearingly awful at people and dealing with emotions or his own wants.

Charles Rowland: Impulsive, people-pleasing wildcard from the 80s. Heart eyes 24/7 at his best friend but has zero self-awareness. Badly abused by his asshole of a father. Beaten to death because he saved a kid from bullies. Endearingly awful at sorting his own emotions or talking about his problems.

Some highlights:

/slaps hood you can fit so much trauma in these two

Both leads get sobbing breakdowns that happen on screen. The actors are incredible at crying

Both leads get much-needed hugs

The absolute devotion between the two of them. The shared history that lives in their dialogue and how they work together like people who have been each other's Most Important Person for literal decades

I mean, I'm talking in-canon Orpheus and Eurydice reference level of devotion here

The protective way Charles puts himself physically between Edwin and damn near every threat in the show

They're just fun together. Their interactions and banter and how they work as a team is a delight

Their shared plot arc literally involves them learning to talk to each other and communicate more so that they can be there for one another about their respective issues

The symbolism. God. They are metaphorically and literally one another's light in the darkness

But what about stuff that isn't the main duo? Just wait, there's more:

This show is unabashedly, unapologetically queer. It's there in the text and the subtext. The whole show lives and breathes it

So many good, complex, well-written female characters. The Bechdel test gets blown straight out of the water in episode one and they never look back. Headstrong amnesiac psychic learning to be a better person! Quirky meta commentary matchmaker! Cynical lesbian butcher! Delightfully sadistic witch! They are all amazing.

[audience voice] But I'm here for the hurt/comfort. How can I whump ghosts? Worry not, my friends. Canon has you covered. Not only are there ways, there are ways that happen on-screen. The hurt/comfort and rescue are also on-screen. Yes, it is amazing

Absolute chaos, really cool supernatural cases and creatures, a surprising amount of humor, charming writing, and a cast that absolutely nails it on the acting and chemistry

There is an extremely suggestive trickster type who is also the king of cats. He's a cat in human form. He hits on Edwin nonstop. Charles gets blisteringly jealous

All of the leads have well-thought-through, fully developed, emotional character arcs. They're all messy and flawed and sometimes lash out in their pain, but at turns can be incredibly supportive and kind and loyal

A character who is a crow who is also a boy, who is tortured by his witch/creator and also is crushing hard on one of the leads

There are so many incredible details in the setting, costume choices, prop decisions, etc. that you only catch after you know what it's laying the groundwork for. The level of care that went into this show is phenomenal

It's only eight episodes. The time investment barrier to entry could not possibly be lower

Anyway, tl;dr, if any of this sounds appealing to you, you should give this show a watch.

Dead Boy Detectives is well worth your time. It's easily my favorite show in years.

[bluebooks1]

Definitely successful. This is now one of my favourite edits ever.

Wouldn't let me reblog... But here's the final product

@bluebooks1 was my challenge of editing Dead Boy Detectives to Dr Horrible successful?

[crow-aeris]

okay yeah, just finished with dead boy detectives and,,, i have so many feelings

like, i am not at ALL surprised to know niel gaiman helped worked on this show, bcs it’s AMAZING??!!!!?!?! In the beginning i thought the title sounded stupid, but then i realized it was about gay ghost boys and then i was SOLD.

edwin fucks??? like, how many bitches he got at this point?? we have charles(?), monty, cat dude, and now SIMON????? omg he literally fucks!!! something about this anemic-looking, sickly-looking, pale as fuck, stuck-up english ghost dude just entices both the supernatural AND the natural-natural 😭😭😭

i’d say i’m appalled, but i’m genuinely not too surprised (what with neil GAIMAN having worked on it) and i really, REALLY hope there’s more, bcs i want to know if niko survives, and if edwin ans charles get together

i also really like how they tied most of the loose ends together, and how beautiful the story looked once completed

that is to say, tl;dr, holy SHIT THIS SHOW IS SO GOOD OMG SHGDHHFGRGFGFGFGRB

[untilnextchapter]

Masterlist : Criminal Minds

Criminal Minds

Spencer Reid x Reader

* = Smut (Minors DNI) II Beware of the TW please

Basically anything from @imagining-in-the-margins but here my very favourites:

Different dialects (Fem!Autistic!Reader. Spencer is trying to tell Reader he likes her, but it feels like they speak entirely different languages.)

Impromptu (Fem!Reader learns some shocking news when a case lands her in the hospital.)

Fairytales (Dad!Spencer comes home to his very tired wife and even more tired child who refused to go to bed without a bedtime story from their dad.)

Growing Pains (Spencer finds unfamiliar lingerie in the laundry. When he confronts his wife, he learns it belongs to their teenage daughter.)

From @fortheloveofwonderland (check her whole masterlist, you won't be disappointed):

A Memory Locked in the Heart (Fem!Reader, eighteen years ago you met a boy named Spencer Reid whilst visiting your mother at Bennington Sanitorium. This time you are meeting under entirely different circumstances; across the table of an interrogation room.)

Mothers Daughter (fem! single mom! Reader, your mother was a keeper of secrets. She kept them so well, for so long she even managed to keep them hidden from herself. And now you find yourself face to face with the love of your life after ten years, you find yourself starting to wonder if you are your mothers daughter after all. Reunion Challenge)

We continue with the lovely @foxy-eva (all her masterlist is worth the checking, just go go~):

Reflections (Fem! Reader, the kindness Spencer Reid shows to a child seems to impress Fem!Reader a little too much)

Lipstick Stains * (Fem!Reader, the shade of your new lipstick is too much for Spencer to handle)

Miscellaneous Authors:

Any Other Weigh @reidsaurora (Fem!Reader, a small collection of stories about the times Spencer told Y/N about how big their baby was getting every week)

The Lanky Guy in Room 603 @samuel-de-champagne-problems (Fem!Reader, Meeting in the delivery room with midwife Y/N)

A Trip to Remember @dr-spencer-reids-queen (Mermaid!Reader, For three thousand years, you’ve known only what the lake has to offer you. No human contact for three thousand years, yet, always being surrounded by them. Everything changes when you meet Spencer Reid)

Dear Theodosia @violetrainbow412-blog (Fem!Reader, Dad!Spencer stays one afternoon to care for your three-month-old twins and reflects on how much he loves them)

Darling & Dandelion @eideticmemory (Fem!Reader, Spencer is a lot of things to you. Your baby daddy, your lover, your best friend, and a massive pain in your ass)

Friends to lovers with Spencer @gtgbabie0 (Fem!Reader, Spencer needs comfort)

BFF @babymetaldoll (Fem!Reader, Spencer meets his best friend from school after 12 years apart)

Wife @specialagentlokitty (Autistic!Reader, Spencer Reid with a wife who is autistic and when she comes to visit the team doesn’t know what to do until Reid comes and finds her sitting at his desk)

10 Days @boldlyvoid (Fem!Reader, it's Spencer's first father's day and he's extremely emotional about the little love of his life that he's only just met. he spends the day with his baby, Edwin, and his wife, crying and happy about how wonderful new little lives are)

Here for you @weird-is-life (Fem!Reader, 4 times you take care of Spencer and one time he takes care of you)

[Not named] @tinyluvs (Fem!Reader, Being Spencer’s girlfriend and meeting the team for the first time)

[Not named] @ddejavvu (GN!Reader, Spencer Reid and s/o who bites their nails)

Aaron Hotchner x Reader

Basically check all the masterlist of @specialagentlokitty but here are my favourites Aaron ones:

Please help me (Teen!Reader, Reader has abusive parents and Hotch and reader are neighbors and reader asks Hotch for help knowing he’s an FBI agent) TW: Abusive Parents

Safe (Child!Reader, Aaron rescues her from a kidnapping but then refuses to leave her side at the hospital)

As slow as you need (Fem!Reader, Hotch x reader where reader flinches) TW: Mentions of abusive ex

Miscellaneous Authors:

Can't Lose You @reidsaurora (Fem!Reader, When Hotch gets attacked during a case and ends up in the hospital, Y/N realizes she can't lose him without telling him about her feelings)

Derek Morgan x Reader

The first time @specialagentlokitty (Fem!Reader, Dancing at JJ's wedding)

Obsession @dr-spencer-reids-queen (Fem!Reader, You’re a target for someone who is obsessed with you, and so you offer yourself as bait to catch the guy)

Like a date? @dr-spencer-reids-queen (Fem!Reader, Your older sister brings you to her work, and you get a lot more than you bargained for)

Spring Carnival @storiesofsvu (Fem!Reader, Sweet time at the carnival)

Placing bets @cafeacademia (Fem!Reader, Since you started at the BAU, you and Derek have picked up a fun way to get to know more about each other. By making bets, the person who wins gets to ask any question they like to the loser and the loser much answer truthfully. But maybe there's a bit more that just a bit of fun to the bets...)

It's Always Been You @reidsaurora (Fem!Reader, When Agent Y/N Y/L/N gets injured on the job, Derek Morgan is the one to take care of her afterward. However, neither of them expected that him simply cleaning her wounds would turn into a love confession)

[fruity-phrog]

We all have our “this is why Charles is in love with Edwin” moments. For most people it’s the Eurydice and Orpheus, but I have seen no one talk about the scene in h the yearbook room, despite the fact that I genuinely haven’t got it out of my head.

“They died in a secret gay suicide pact,” “What?!” “They were just best mates,”

We know Charles was projecting on Chad and Hunter. Edwin’s response to Richie’s suggestion was more than understandable. He was just then resurfacing very old, very repressed emotions, so Richie mentioning it was like a jolt. But Charles, who projected so much onto the boys, was so quick to restate that they were just friends. Best friends. And he does it while staring straight at Edwin - not to correct Richie, but to assure Edwin that it was incorrect. Why were you so insistant on it not being true, Charles? Why were you so desperate to make sure Edwin didn’t think about Chad and Hunter being gay? Why were you so desperate not to think about Chad and Hunter being gay? Hm? These boys you so strongly decided represented you and Edwin?

Tl;dr that one line was one of the gayest in the entire show and has literally no heterosexual explanation.

[icantpickausernamesorry]

IF SOMEONE FUCKING HATES ON CRYSTAL FOR KISSING CHARLES I WILL SCREAM

SHE SAW SOMEONE SHE LIKED AND CHARLES SAW SOMEONE HE THOUGHT HE LIKED THEY ARE *16* MOTHERFUCKER.

okay. calmer reaction.

charles saw crystal as someone his age (technically) who he could have a deep and meaningful conversation with, not realising that he could and can do those things with edwin. he also saw edwin's qualities in crystal (like he LITERALLY SAYS) so he feels a romantic attraction to her. he has been led to believe from his upbringing that he is already flawed, so being in love with a boy (who is also his best friend of 30+ years) is still strange and scary to him, obviously. so- kiss.

crystal got free from her demon ex boyfriend who possessed her and made her eat trash and she saw 2 people who rescued her from that. one she saw as antisocial and annoying (not realising his true qualities, as charles did). the other she saw as kind and social. given her wierd ass psychological situation, she looked at this and saw someone she could love and who would love her back. so- kiss.

charles has an obvious attraction to edwin and he realises it a little at the end of the s1, but he's still battling out a lot of unknown and strange emotions all at once, with his repressed trauma coming back and edwin's confession along with crystal's powers being wierd to him and her. so- he doesn't do anything.

if you blame crystal for being a 16 year old girl, you can shut up. I agree that she should have figured herself out more before *dating a ghost* but the hate is unjustified for even that. she is a multifaceted woman charactar and the internet is famous for not being able to handle that (example- Gwen fucking Stacy from spiderverse. yall are sk stupid for hating her like that smh).

I am payneland forever but I don't hate crystal because this is just "I HATE HER BECAUSE SHE CAME BETWEEN MY FAVORITE SHIP" when that's the fuckung point. dbda is a show about growth and development and realising yourself, amdist the demon and pedophilic cat king. she had to do this for charles ro realise. I'm extremely sad that crystal will get her heart broken and I wished it wouldn't happen, but I recognize the story. you should to.

tl;dr- stop making crystals charactar just some girl who came between 2 guys. she us more than that. treat her with respect, you swabs of used q tips.

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #306: There is a FIRE Down Below

August, 1989

Can even the SUB-MARINER withstand the brutal attack of the LAVA MEN?

Well, he's got a type advantage?

Attacking him in the ocean was maybe not the best idea.

I don't know why the disembodied Avengers heads are so distraught that Namor is beating up Lava Men. Maybe they're upset because they can't see his abs from where they are...

Anyway.

Last time on Avengers: Captain America unilaterally declared every Avenger is an Avenger and there's only one Avengers team, the one he's in charge of.

Everyone was fairly supportive of this.

Except for the Lava Men who hoisted Avengers Island into the sky and then trapped Captain America, Black Panther, Thor, She-Hulk, and Giglamesh in a lava ball and rolled them into the ocean.

This time: the ocean.

Namor is swimming around in the ocean, just enjoying his life, hanging out with his finny friends, definitely not looking for his dead monster wife's monster babies at all, when some dolphins tell him that there's bad shit going on with the Avengers.

So even though Namor was JUST THERE, he turns around to check things out. Even though the water gets oddly warm. Did someone pee the entire ocean?

No?

It's just the giant column of lava, still glowing cherry hot despite all this ocean around? A flagrant violation of physics? Okay.

The column is made up of just tons of lava men and many break off the column to attack Namor.

He punches them a lot, declaims about how cool he is, smacks some Lava Men with a Lava Man, and swims around really fast to make a whirlpool.

But despite his sea-strengthened limbs, Namor notices what the Avengers noticed last time. There's a lot of the Lava Men and they tend to just reform from damage.

Then the Rock Sphere o' Avengers drops into the ocean. It disrupts the whirpool Namor was working on. And so distracts him that the Lava Men are able to dog pile on and engulf him.

The pile of Lava Men with Namor in the center walks over and starts fusing with the giant stone sphere.

Meanwhile, in the sphere, the Avengers are still hammering away at the insides.

But even though the inner layer is rock and the outer layer is rock, there's a gooey lava middle layer.

Every time the Avengers manage to make a hole, lava oozes in and hardens.

Then a hole opens up by itself and poops out Namor.

He's all pink and dehydrated and unconscious.

I assume the Lava Men pile steamed him before tossing him in with the others.

Thor jams his arm in the Namor hole before it has a chance to close but it just pinches shut on his shoulder.

Then as if it that weren't bad enough, the sphere starts rolling again.

Thor gets mad and breaks his arm free. Which creates a big crack in the prison. Which is immediately sealed shut by lava.

All in all, things aren't going super great for this new Avengers group.

Up in Avengers Island, Jarvis tries to call for help.

The good thing about Captain America declaring all Avengers is Avengers is that you can just call in more help when a giant lava spire lifts your HQ out of the ocean.

The West Coast Avengers are still returning to the west coast from the meeting. They make a big U-turn back towards the East.

Also, various interpersonal dramas make it hard to pin down when in the West Coast Avengers this is set.

Hawkeye already ragequit and took over the Great Lakes Avengers. Tigra is in the Quinjet with the other West Coast Avengers but she doesn't seem taken over by cat instincts. Vision is his traditional red, not all white. Everyone has metal should pads for some reason.

Its weird that the Avengers books can't keep consistent when the same Byrne is writing them both.

Back with Jarvis, the room starts tilting.

He turns on the outside surveillance cameras that can even scan under the base despite it being an idea.

Now that the Lava Men have the Avengers, the ones making up the giant pillar are crumbling away.

Why, Avengers Island is probably going to fall soon!

In the Orb o' Avengers, Gilgamesh goes non-responsive in order to go into an Eternal coma to better withstand the rigors of orb life.

She-Hulk points out that Captain America and Black Panther don't have any powers so how the heck are they doing in the hazardous orb environment?

Cap non-answers by just saying "I'll worry about myself when there's time, She-Hulk."

Since the orb seems to have come to a stop, Cap asks Thor to try to punch an exist if he's up to it.

Thor cautions that it'll probably be wasted effort. But "Thor is ever ready to try anything, Avenger!"

Thor starts punching a hole in the stone, the stone starts sealing over his arm. Same old story. This time, though, She-Hulk joins in.

Thor will punch a hole through the stone. She-Hulk will punch the rock so it can't reform between Thor punches.

And with this strategy, they make progress.

She-Hulk suddenly realizes that if they're still underwater, punching through is going to lead to a rush of seawater into their predicament.

Thor hears her concerns but also proceeds anyway, punching his fist out into free air.

So they're on dry land, if they can only get out to it!

Then Thor gets consumed by the juicy lava filling. Not that its dangerous to him. Remember the Lava Men story this is referencing? Thor just sank into lava with his usual stoic pout.

Thor tells the others not to save him and lets himself be pulled into the lava. And Captain America backs up his decision because Thor is never foolhardy.

OH YEAH

His big plan was just to let himself be drawn to the center of the orb's wall and then go ham.

Meanwhile, some new plot thread.

An old man loses track of his time while reading the newspaper and then old man ambles over to check the science machine he's been working on.

A science machine that could leave a crater where Cresskill is supposed to be if old man messes up.

That's a potent science machine.

Why not get into potato clocks, sir?

Meanwhile, the Avengers find themselves deep within the bowels of the Earth. The Earth has so many bowels and yet does so little digestion.

Captain America points out that as deep as they appear to be, the pressure should turn them into primary colored goo but She-Hulk tells Cap not to sweat the science. She's more worried about how Namor is all burned and dehydrated.

So Thor bonks Mjolnir on the ground and summons a rainstorm.

He can do that. The weather is his friend.

(And really, the only thing that stopped him from doing it sooner was not enough open air.)

Namor instantly rouses because comic book people with water based metabolism rehydrate like sponges. And he instantly flies into a rage based on the last thing he remembers. But Captain America tells him to clam down and Namor instantly listens to his ol' Nazi punching buddy.

The Prince of Abslantis asks where the heck they are and Captain America reiterates his observation that they seem like they're pretty deep into the Earth and yet the pressure hasn't turned them into goo.

Then Jinku, Witchdoctor of the Lava Men shows up and tells them that they're not goo because he chooses for them not to be goo.

That's nice of him. Although he also calls them his prisoners.

(In a funny bit, he tells them not to bother trying to remember if they've met him before because they won't remember him, only for Captain America to instantly go "I remember you." Jinku isn't reading his audience very well.)

Captain America says he thought the Avengers and Lava Men settled their beef but Jinku tells them there's new beef.

WHY, THE AVENGERS HAVE BROUGHT UPON THE DESTRUCTION OF THE LAVA MEN!

Captain America is skeptical because the Avengers haven't interacted with Lava Men for... a while.

So Jinku Explains It All.

Before the Lava Men were Lava Men, they were a subterranean human-ish race called the Gortokians who worshipped a demonic looking god called Cha'sa'dra, "most powerful of the underworld pantheon."

One day, their worship of Cha'sa'dra pays off when the dude himself appears. As a reward for their devotion, Cha'sa'dra turns the Gortokians into immortal men made out of molten stone. Lava Men, you might say.

Cha'sa'dra hung around to enjoy being worshipped. Maybe relatedly, the former Gortokian civilization sank into primitive barbarism. It's gotta be him because there's no other suggested factor.

Anyway, the day came when Cha'sa'dra just fucked off with no explanation.

They got an explanation later. That Cha'sa'dra was summoned by another god (N'astirh) to take part in a war against the surface (Inferno).

The important takeaway is that Cha'sa'dra was one of the nameless demons the Avengers mowed down during their Inferno tie-in issues.

Except, he wasn't nameless. His name was Cha'sa'dra. And whoops, his turn men to lava men spell had no ontological inertia. When he died, the Lava Men lost their lava and their immortality.

Hundreds of former Lava Men instantly died of being way too old. The only ones that survived were Jinku and his acolytes. Thanks to manipulating the magic of Cha'sa'dra, they were protected from instantly aging to death.

But instead of aging, Jinku's acolytes turned to stone. Living but unmoving.

"The process of their minds slowed to such a point ten thousand years might pass before they formed a whole thought!"

Dark.

So Jinku is the last guy both alive and not trapped in a living hell.

Jinku: "This is what you brought to my people, you who call yourselves Avengers! You who consider yourselves champions of all that lives! You slaughtered all but a handful, and condemned the rest to an eternal living death! For this, you deserve no better than agonizing death!" Captain America: "I'm not going to pretend we Avengers were not instrumental in the death of your god... But what you have to understand is that Cha'sa'dra lied to you! He was no great god. He was a minor demon. A tiny part of the horde that attacked." Jinku: "SILENCE! INFIDELS! If there were a punishment greater than death, I would now condemn you to it! I would see your souls writhe in torment till the end of time, for your blasphemy!!"

Telling the truth was not the best policy this time, Cap.

Although, the death of his entire race probably made him unwilling to hear any explanation or excuse.

I think maybe you have to kick him in the lava junk until he calms down.

Anyway, Jinku does have a punishment in mind for the Avengers.

DEATH BY LAVA EXPY OF CHA'SA'DRA!

And since the Avengers were all standing in one easily punched row, he punches them all in a row.

You'd think that this would set Captain America and probably Black Panther on fire. Thank god lava doesn't work like lava in fiction.

Follow @essential-avengers for more of the same of this. But, hey, like, reblog, and comment! I'm lonely down here.

[ghostinthelibrarywrites]

Chapter 3 of The stranger the better is up, featuring more case fic shenanigans, the boys learning to work together (despite Edwin's best efforts) and way too much time spent with old books from the archives.

Excerpt:

“Have you found anything of note?”

“Not unless they found anything unusual in Miles’s stomach?”

“According to Dr. Green, just an absurd amount of kale for before 7 AM.”

“Well, then I guess he didn’t pick up a headache tonic from a bloke at the circus and find his brains leaking out of his ears after a few doses.” Agent Rowland pats one of the case files in front of him.

“From what we’ve learned, Miles does not seem like the type to have suffered in silence. If he’d been experiencing headaches, he surely would have made them Cecelia’s problem. Plus, I like to think people today know better than to purchase medicines from strangers at circuses.”

“I don’t know.” Agent Rowland smiles again. He does that quite a lot. “Doesn’t sound all that different from the vitamin smoothies my mum buys from her massage therapist.”

“I do hope her brains don’t start leaking out of her ears,” Edwin says dryly, then wonders if that’s not the sort of joke one should make about someone’s mother.

To his relief, Agent Rowland giggles. Actually giggles, like a child delighted by something shiny. It shouldn’t be charming, but Edwin feels his own lips tugging into an answering smile.

“I cannot cast judgment,” he says. “Back in my day, they treated just about anything with cocaine. I remember being about ten and having a doctor who was overly enthusiastic about treating my common cold. My brains did not leak out of my ears, but I thought they would.”

"Didn’t realize the Victorians were so much fun.”

“Edwardian,” Edwin corrects automatically, reaching for his cooling mug of tea. “I was born in 1900, a year before Queen Victoria died.”

“All the cocaine that did her in, was it?”

[that-trans-autistic-guy]

DBD Characters as Random Quotes I have Saved From my Friends

Niko and Monty: GUYS THERE IS A FUCKING WORM IN MY POCKET

Edwin: I am sexually attracted to centered text

Crystal, about the girls: The Three Milfsketeers

Crystal and Jenny: Buzzfeed quizzes just tell me I'm a depressed lesbian

Charles: He steams my nuggets

The Cat King: I HAVE THE FRENCH FURRY

Charles and Crystal: Vehicular manslaughter is only fun if you get away with it.

Edwin, when dealing with the others bullshit: You ever die inside so hard the organs leave your body before you hit the ground?

Niko: Sorry, didn't Hatsune Miku write Harry Potter?

Charles: Guys this is great, I'm AWESOME at searching under rocks

Edwin: Quills Over Kills

Charles: Can I lick that orange rock on the left?

Niko: I didn't try to drown you love! I tried to feed you to the swans! Totally different!

Crystal and Jenny: If you act like a dick, you're gonna lose yours

Esther: IM GONNA GRIND UP YOUR TEETH AND SNORT THEM

Crystal, about Edwin: gg10 got killed by a twink

Jenny: I say this with love but you absolute fuckwhistle

Charles, about Edwin and him: I need a Dr. Love fr Crystal: You need to not be a pussy

had wayyyy to much fun looking thru old ss' so enjoy this silly lil whatever it is

[deadboydetectives-confessions]

Because this is apparently happening again, I'm going to throw in my two cents: whenever I think about the Cat King purely in regards to his relationship with Edwin, I'm fine with it. I don't ship it, at all, and I'm very strongly against the two of them even having a friends-with-benefits thing (mostly because I think the Cat King needs friends, who aren't the Agency, rather than a romantic interest), but I struggle to see anything wrong his behaviour because Edwin is very good at taking care of himself and dealing with mostly unwanted advances (and they are unwanted - just because Edwin's attracted to the Cat King doesn't mean he wants anything sexual or romantic with him, something he makes quite clear).

And then I think about what could have happened if it had been Charles who had attracted the Cat King's attention, or even Crystal. I personally think Crystal would have been fine, because like Edwin she's quite clear on what she wants, but I could also see a version where that went really badly for her. And as for Charles - I think he would have been fine during the first encounter, but any later encounters? When he's already dealing with all the shit he goes through in Port Townsend? Yeah, he'd have slept with the Cat King, despite not wanting to, because he couldn't bear to be the reason they're all trapped in Port Townsend. And that would have been a very bad situation.

Tl;dr: I think the problem with the Cat King's behaviour comes not from his interactions with Edwin but the fact that he would have behaved the same way to anyone he was interested in, regardless of how equipped they were to deal with that.

.

[clearnachopirate]

summer/winter partners this! golden retriever/black cat partners that! when are we going to talk abt fall/spring??

fall, knowing their best days are behind them and they have no way but forward, into what could be their worst days, but just maybe, might lead them back into summer

spring, having just endured the harshest winter they've ever felt, knowing, for the first time, that summer is ahead, that there is hope in the end of torment

fall, optimism having run dry as spring finally remembers what hope feels like.

spring, brought down by what was only for fall to pull them out if it because it isnt the past that needs worrying, but the future

this is about charles and edwin by the way

charles holding onto life by the tips of his fingers, refusing to let his life go while dragging edwin out of hell, determined that one day he will reach summer again

edwin, letting go of hell and holding onto the hope of summer (of his afterlife with charles) with both hands, finally letting the fear quiet

tl;dr: im obsessed with dead boy detectives

[aletterinthenameofsanity]

Dr. Edwin Payne (Ghostcrow Art AU)

It was the only problem that there was in their relationship, the only crack that split the earth too close to the heart, threatening the very foundations. 

(And Charles Rowland had spent over a decade giving Edwin the best foundations in the world; nothing could truly shake them, Edwin knew. No doubts could ever break Edwin, because Charles’ love for him would always bolster him stronger than any quake could ever shake.)

Monty loved Charles and Edwin in other ways. He was affectionate in bed, was an absolute delight to debate with, was open enough with them to trust them with art, the one thing that he truly loved, and was so vulnerable and open in other ways, on other topics. He clearly loved Charles and Edwin outside of that one sticking point of visiting family.

And Edwin loved him. Loved Monty in such a similar way to how he loved Charles, the feeling taking root so deep in his heart that maybe the earth would never split because the roots pulled the crust so tight to itself.

-aletterinthenameofsanity, underneath the sunrise (show me where your love lies)

I don't wanna seem the way I do

But I'm confident when I'm with you

Lately, all I feel is bad and bruised

Tired of tripping on my shoes

But when he loves me, I feel like I'm floating

When he calls me pretty, I feel like somebody

Even when we fade eventually to nothing

You will always be my favorite form of loving

-Beach Bunny, Cloud 9

@deadboy-edwin @icecreambrownies @anonymousbooknerd-universe @ashildrs

@tragedy-machine @just-existing-as-you-do-blog @orpheusetude @mj-irvine-selby

@pappelsiin @itsbitmxdinhere @rexrevri @sweet-like-h0ney-lavender @saffirez

@the-ipre @sunnylemonss @days-light @agentearthling @helltechnicality

@sethlost @catboy-cabin @secretlyafiveheadeddragon @vyther15

@anything-thats-rock-and-roll @queen-of-hobgobblers @every-moment-a-different-sound

@nix-nihili @mellxncollie @tumblerislovetumblerislife @lemurafraidofthunder

@likemmmcookies @wr0temyway0ut @thelakeswillbreakourfall

[theresstillgrowinghere]

Oh I am fucking angry.

Dr. Edwin Leap (yes, I will call you out by name because you published your bullshit online for the whole world to see), thank you for almost comedically illustrating why so many patients are afraid of doctors.

You do not ever get to think of your patients as other. They are your same flesh and blood; I don’t care how much you want to think of yourself as separate from those of us unwell. (I can tell how much disdain you hold for us just from this short article. We are failures, not good enough, not strong and morally pure like you are, hm?)

Healthcare can never, never, allow itself to other its patients. And yet, you publish an entire article calling sick people Homo infirmus and Homo fragilis? Your tone doesn’t come across very humorous, but even if it’s just supposed to be a silly little joke, explain to me why the fuck you think that would be okay.

Why the fuck would it be okay to say another person is not only not your same species but instead defined as other primarily by their illness?

And designated as such by you, a medical professional with direct influence on the lives and wellbeings of the very people you are dehumanizing?

Do you not see how terrifying that is? Do you not see why people would be afraid of you after just having read this piece?

And then you go on, boiling my blood:

“Homo fragilis, at least as a diagnostic category, begins earlier and earlier in life and often results not only in a tribe of people dependent on medications but also, ‘relying on the kindness of strangers.’ No, maybe better put, ‘demanding the kindness of strangers.’ These individuals require food, shelter, medication, affirmation, and often money from others because they cannot function in the wild. I’m not being mean; the causes are legion, from poor family structure to mental health challenges to social media.”

I cannot believe how many infuriating things you’ve said just in this paragraph alone, but I want to focus on the part that immediately washed me with deep shame. Unrightfully so. You have no right to make me feel ashamed, and yet, when you said “demanding” better captures my state of existence, it turned my stomach inside out.

Yes, I am disabled. I absolutely rely very heavily on other people. Yes, I require food, shelter, medication, affirmation, money. And so do you, christ. You aren’t better than us just because we need support from our communities. Getting support from those around us isn’t a crime, isn’t a wrongdoing, isn’t a moral failure.

You know what it is? Human.

Whether or not Margaret Mead actually said that a healed femur in recovered ancient remains was the earliest sign of civilization (we’re going to save the charged nature of this term for another time and for now just use it as a placeholder for consistent, steady, lasting community), there is a reason why people latch onto this story. There is a reason why it warms people’s hearts:

So many of us want to care* for people. So many of us want to have people care for us. So many people feel closer to others, to ourselves, to our own humanity when offering others care.

(*I am including all the vastly different ways we can show others care, love, support, respect, protection, encouragement, etc.)

And perhaps the most upsetting part is how close you are to understanding the problem while getting the most key pieces so, so wrong. You’re right, our current healthcare system cannot handle the amount of support patients need right now. But please, I beg you, could you consider for just one second that it is not the fault of the patients? Could you please not strip me of my humanity just because I need help to survive?

Fix the system. You’re right, there is a massive problem. But it’s not us. Next time you’re considering your “long-dormant zoology degree,” think twice and reflect a bit before publishing bullshit like this. Think about what it means to take care of those around you. Think about your own humanity.