#dont mind me just promoting myself

[casimirt]

Dear Readers,

If y'all want some dark, angsty or romantic poetry, that is low-key Good Omens, Our Flag Means Death or The Magnus Archives coded...

Check out my big serious poetry blog @casimirat

[rainingincale]

Should i just unfollow my ex-mp, because ngl I feel like im just torturing myself at this point

(Im seriously asking and you should tell me yes)

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi fellow adventurers!! A few weeks ago i caught wind of "Delicious in Dungeon". I'm not really an anime person, but I am a TTRPG, CRPG, and cooking person- . And holy shit. It is so good i  convinced my partner to binge read the whole thing. I'm caught up on dungeon meshi, the anime, and just yesterday i also finished dungeon meshi, the manga.

Its rare to come across a serialized story that is so thematically cohesive and knows its characters so well. All of the bonus content like the artbooks and monster tidbits are just the icing on top.

So, inspired by Ryōko Kui's writing and illustration I'm going to attempt to create a recipe for every single Delicious in Dungeon recipe!-

Today that means Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot is on the menu!

(As always you can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot?” YOU MIGHT ASKThis is one of the pricier dishes until we get to the kelpies and dragons of the menu-

Rock lobster tail

Porcini mushrooms

Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus

Small potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water

OPTIONAL: your choice of dipping sauces

There was a crossover/promotional event in Shibuya which featured various realworld dishes from the series. They had one for Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom, but they used prawns.  while those cook better in a hotpot, they also didn't look enough like the scorpion for me, they also used udon noodles for the slime and a seaweed/kale(?) mixture for the algae. If you're looking for substitutes due to price or availability i would start with those ingredients.

AND, “what does a Huge Scorpion and Walking Mushroom hotpot taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASKI hope Senshi would forgive me for technically cooking the lobster outside the pot, once he tastes it.

Okay im always partial to veggies but wowowowowowowoowowowow the snow fungus and the mushrooms tasted soooooooooooo good in the lobster stock

A nice delicate layering of different flavors

Try to get a bite with the lobster meat and shiitake together, dip in butter then chili- trust me

Its up to you what texture you prefer if you want to put the noodles in at the end or put them in halfway through the meal. Either way dont go for eating those first as theyre very filling

I think this would pair well with a citrus drink, something light and clarifying

This would also pair well with being extremely high and hungry (if you feel safe cooking while inebriated lol) very calorically dense

For the trial run I did one lobster tail in the pot with everything else, and one lobster tail off to the side to be picked apart. The former is more in spirit with a hotpot, but it got rubbery as the meal went on and lost its nice taste. The latter may be a bit more work but all you have to do still is boil it and set it aside. I found it held up much better. It was also easier to get inside the shell.

. If you have hardshell maine lobster available, i think it would be superior to rock lobster (keep in mind crustaceans will get rubbery if cooked too long in the pot) . Green onions and/or lotus root would make excellent additions

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From getting the ingredients out to sitting down and eating, id say it took maybe 30 minutes max? It'd vary on how fast you can prep vegetables and get the various implements heated.

Hotpots are not something i do very often as i'm usually just feeding myself. I think thats why a hotpot makes perfect sense to start the series off. If you want to set the tone of "take care of yourself, eat food with others, and use what you have" (generally speaking) there is nothing more simplistic, flexible, and defeats-the-purpose-if-you-eat-it-alone than a hotpot. Gather around and let your friends bring ingredients to the pot if you want to fill your heart up extra full <3

I'm doing something different here because unlike previous recipes where i used a bunch of different sources and made my own recipe out of hodge-podging it, or just used another persons recipe entirely if they did it really well, i made this more whole-cloth based off of what i had available, what I could discover through research, and my existing knowledge. Instead of the recipe being 50/50 original, this one is more 20/80. So. I'll pass the final verdict off to you guys :D 

What would you rate this recipe out of 10? (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Did you love it, did you hate it? What're your thoughts on what I could do different, and what would you have done instead?

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Ingredients:

2 Rock lobster tails

3 Porcini mushrooms

2 Shiitake mushrooms

Snow fungus (a good handful, should rehydrate in the hotpot)

2 Small waxy potatos

Fensi (glass noodles)

Water/lobster stock

Method:

Lightly rinse all of your vegetables beforehand and let them dry.

Vertically slice the porcini mushrooms. Cut off and dice the stems of the shiitake mushrooms. You can slice the tops if youd like.

Peel and cube the potatoes, roughly an inch each.

For the lobster tails; Boil a pot of salted water. Keep the shell on. Weigh the largest tail and add 1 minute of cooking time for every ounce of weight.

When done, strain the lobster from the water. Pour the water into your hotpot as the base. Serve the lobster on the side so people can pick the meat out to dip into the hotpot.

Bring the hotpot to a simmer. Add the potato cubes, snow fungus, mushrooms, and noodles.

OPTIONAL: this wasnt in the show, but its fun having sauces on the side :) i had oyster sauce, dry seasoned chili dip, melted butter, and soy sauce available

[messrsrarchives]

i love using this app just to complain about tiktok. if i get ONEEEE more dm that's like "hiii i love your account 🥰 do you mind giving (insert name of their own fic) a read and posting about it?" i will go INSANE.

pay me for it then idk.

im kidding i wouldnt do that BUT LIKE. i get so excited 😭😭 i always think i've made a new friend and then i open the dm to that. EVEN WORSEEE when it's an author whose stuff i genuinely really enjoy and have found naturally by myself and then :/// like oh :/// OR when they don't even follow me? like you dont haveeee to but if you're dming just for promotion at least own up to it, don't act as if you actually like me yk? got me all excited for nout :(

idk. maybe im being annoying by complaining but it irks me so much. like as much as we say to write for ourselves and not focus on the traction, that's how i am with my account. i am literally shitposting for me and people fw that, that's great!

like just dm and say you think i'd enjoy it or smth, or at least entertain a conversation with me for longer than five minutes :/ it's my lil bubble and it sucks just being reduced to that

[itsseohannbin]

• Like A Volcano | Part Six | • SMUT MDNI

Han Jisung Mini Series

© itshannjisung, 2024

♡ itsseohannbins masterlist ♡

Series Masterlist

Chapter Genre: Crack💥 Angst⚡️Fluff 💕Suggestive Themes 💋

-Bestfriends to Lovers Trope-

Summary: being best friends with the kings of kpop always has its ups and downs, and when you're offered a spot on the next European-American book tour to promote the publishing of your new book, there's one kpop king in particular who just doesn't want you to go.

Pairing: Idol!Han Jisung x Female Reader x Bestfriend Skz

** Includes two of my own original female characters, both whom are romantically involved with two of the members. Chan x Jo / Minho x Ash **

Warnings: Swearing. brief vulnerability over the trauma yn went through. good guy Jisung (srsly why can't all men be this incredible?). tooth-rotting fluff throughout but mostly towards the end. the boys do not use honorifics. reader is called jagiya & princess SMUT; making out. dry-humping/grinding. breast/nipple play. dirty-ish talk. soft!dom Han. brief dom/sub reader. praise kink. slight doting. fingering. anal play (f rec). edging. unprotected sex (dont do this). p in v sex. reader is on the pill, though it is not mentioned. failed pull out method/cumming inside. multiple positions. hair pulling (m rec). crying during sex. biting. overstimulation (m and f rec). flaccid-fucking. multiple orgasms.

I think that's everything. lmk if I missed something!

Word Count: 11k (lol whoops)

Screenshot Count: 8

**this chapter is edited and revised**

Enjoy!

The second you stepped foot back inside of your apartment with Jisung by your side, a wave of anxiety stabbed you abruptly in the gut. Not because of what was yet to come once the two of you eventually reached the bedroom, but because that same helpless feeling you felt earlier in the night had returned, hitting you at full force despite having Jisung glued to your side.

Your eyes darted around the living room nervously as you dropped your keys onto the table by the door and discarded your shoes. You expected something to jump out from the shadows at any given moment, though logically, you knew nobody else was in here.��

Still, your body tensed as you strode further inwards, your jaw clenched in anticipation as the hairs on the back of your neck stood up, waiting for something to happen.

A big part of you still felt Seojun lingering in every corner of the one-bedroom apartment you rented out, and when a gust of wind blew in through the cracked window and sent your curtains flying about, you nearly screamed in surprise. Fortunately, all that left your mouth was a small gasp, causing Jisungs arms to wrap around you in an instant.

“It’s alright, Jagiya.” he cooed softly in your ear as his arms tightened around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder. “He’s not here. He can’t hurt you anymore.”

Your eyebrows shot upwards in surprise at his words, causing you to turn in his hold and look at him in confusion.

“How did you-?” you paused and squinted at him, the pieces forming together quickly inside of your mind. “Minho, that bastard.” you finished with an annoyed grunt.

Obviously it was Minho.

Jisungs hand came up to hold the back of your head as he pulled you into a hug. 

“Please don’t be mad at Min, okay? When he, Chan, Jo and Ash left in a hurry this morning I knew something was going on. I practically forced it out of him the second they got back home.” he explained. "I didn't want to believe it until I saw for myself, so I'm sorry for what I said back at the club. You didn't deserve the way I spoke to you. I was just hurt and confused."

You swallowed roughly at the news, wondering how much Minho had told him.

“How much do you know?” You asked, barely registering the coldness that seemed to seep into your words. You bit the inside of your cheek as you waited for Jisungs response.

“He didn’t tell me the details.” he reassured you, his arms still holding you in a tight embrace. “Just that that asshole was hurting you. He didn’t even tell me you were home.”

You nodded slowly, lost in thought. 

Despite wanting to be mad at Minho, you knew you couldn’t be. Your friends always had your best interests in mind, even if it didn’t seem like it at times, so Minho telling Jisung meant he was confident Jisung wouldn’t say anything to anyone, especially not to the others.

Though, you knew with how nosy and protective they all were, they’d all find out the truth eventually. It wasn’t like you were planning on hiding it from them, you just wanted to avoid the topic as long as you could. But right here, right now, you couldn’t think of any reason not to tell Jisung the details of what you went through.

You trusted him with your life, and this, whatever this was, was forever. He’d never leave your side again and you knew you’d never leave his.

“Do you want to know?” you asked softly, almost whispering as your head dipped and your eyes found your feet. You wouldn’t push it upon him, but you knew letting him know you trusted him with everything in you was important. He needed the reassurance, needed to see how serious you were about him, about this, about whatever came next for the two of you after tonight.

Jisung was silent for a moment as his fingers found the cast on your arm, causing your eyes to lift up anxiously and meet him once more. He looked pained and unsure as he stared at the plaster, as if the answer to your question was more than just a simple yes or no, because in all honesty, it was. 

This was about more than just finding out what makes each other tick, it was about being vulnerable and opening up about the trauma you worked so hard to push away. It was about giving someone the opportunity to destroy you and trusting them not to. It was about handing them a ‘get out of jail’ free card and then praying they wouldn’t use it, that they wouldn’t leave, that they’d stay.

It was scary. 

No, it was fucking terrifying, but for Jisung, you would do anything.

After a couple of short, thoughtful breaths, Jisung gave you a sad smile. 

“Not unless you want me to know. And even then, I won’t pressure you into telling me.” he answered, softly kissing the tip of your nose. “Just know that I’m not going anywhere, okay? No matter what you went through and who you become because of it, I’ll be right here. I’ll stick by your side while you work through this and do whatever it is you need of me to help. We’re in this together.”

It was like a flame had suddenly ignited inside the depths of your heart at his words. Like someone had poured gasoline into your veins in an attempt to bring you down, and Jisungs words, his encouragement, was the match that lit you on fire and allowed you to fight back.

The sentiment was short and sweet, one that anybody else would have laughed at and waved off as him being too cheesy, but to you, it meant everything. You could feel the sincerity and truth behind each vowel, each consonant, and it made your heart burst with a form of emotion you’ve never felt before.

It was more than the happiness and joy you felt when you were surrounded by your friends, more than the excitement and anticipation you endured when you walked out on stage and found thousands of fans staring back at you. It was more than any pain and sadness you felt during your time away.

This was it. This was true love. And you found it in your best friend, just like you always hoped you would.

A smile broke out onto your face and an unexpected sob escaped your throat as you stared into Jisungs big, beautiful eyes. The ones that held so much adoration, so much joy, so much respect. You saw galaxies upon galaxies inside them, the chocolatey brown nearly hypnotising you as they sparkled in the dim light.

In that moment, you wanted him, needed him, in every way possible, but the words got caught in your throat and all that you managed to squeak out was a small “Thank you Ji.”

Jisung smiled back at you, a laugh seeping from his lips.

“Anything for you, Princess.” he whispered. Your heart skipped a beat.

“Anything, you say?” you then raised your eyebrow suggestively, causing his gummy smile to fade into one of his signature smirks.

The way his eyes darkened as if on cue had a fire stirring in your lower belly.

“Absolutely anything.” he chimed back without hesitation.

And those words of affirmation were all you needed to pick up where the two of you left off at the club. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him to you, swiftly connecting your lips to his. Immediately, he scooped you up and wrapped your legs around his waist as his tongue pushed against your lips, demanding entry.

Before you knew it, you were straddling Jisung on the couch, your tongues both slowly and lazily tasting each other, exploring the expanses of what the other had to offer. While your fingers threaded through his hair, his hands explored you at an achingly slow pace. It was like he couldn’t get enough of you, his movements neverending as he memorised every inch of skin he could find.

All traces of wanting to rip his clothes off had exited your mind the second he sat the two of you down. There was no rush. You guys had the rest of your lives to jump into the sheets with one another. This night, however, would be one you both would remember for eternity, and the both of you cherished every breathing second you had as if it would be your last.

Every breath was slow, every touch delicate and teasing, every smile and giggle against the others lips dissolved into another long, searing-hot kiss. The two of you could stay like this for hours and still neither of you would be completely satisfied.

You weren’t sure how long the two of you sat like this for, just holding each other while your tongues battled for dominance, but when Jisung eventually pulled away, the two of you were breathless and exhausted.

You didn’t say a word as his big eyes found yours, his hands finally teasing the hem of the shirt you had on, a look of question in his eyes. He was silently asking permission to go further, to touch more of you, and you hoped the half nod and smile you sent back his way would suffice as an answer as you were still struggling to catch your breath.

Jisung didn’t give you much time to do so before he captured your lips once more and put his hands to work.

When his large, calloused hands dipped beneath the fabric, a jolt of electricity shot across your skin and a gasp fell from your lips into Jisungs open mouth. He smiled against you before reaching his hands higher, his fingers softly tracing up your spine until he came into contact with the clasp of your bra.

With one flick of his wrist, your clasp was undone, and he wasted no time bringing one of his hands around to slip under the cup and grab ahold of your breast.

With his other hand, he pulled your shirt over your head while he gently kneaded you in his palm, your bra following shortly after. He pulled away from your lips and leaned back to briefly stare at your now naked chest in wonder. 

“Jesus Christ Jagi,” he whispered delightfully, his thumb coming up to run across your already hardened nipple. Your body jolted at the sensation, causing an evil grin to lift the corners of his mouth while a puddle formed in your panties. “You’re so fucking beautiful.”

A blush crept to your cheeks, but instead of feeling insecure and shying away from him, you felt your ego boost to a whole new level.

Jisung brought his face to your chest and delicately kissed the cluster of scabs that sat at the crevice where your torso and arm met. You expected the old cigarette burns to hurt when his lips came into contact with them, but you felt nothing but neutral sensitivity. The action was so intimate and soft you almost lost your senses, but then Jisung was back to the task at hand an instant later, the soft, sweet moment gone. 

“Does that feel good, Princess?” Jisung asked as he rubbed his thumb across your nipple once more, watching the way your head fell back while a moan escaped your lips. You nodded in response, your hips seeming to have a mind of their own as they swung back before dragging forwards against the bulge in his pants that didn’t seem to fully go away ever since you kissed him in the club.

Both of you moaned noisily into the emptiness of the apartment as you repeated your actions several more times, the two of you feeling the wave of pleasure you both so desperately craved but were too nervous to insinuate up until now. 

“That’s it Jagi, lemme’ hear those pretty sounds.” Jisung mumbled as his other hand came up to cup your other breast, his thumbs now both circling around your nipples simultaneously.

Your jaw fell open and your eyes squeezed closed as pleasure shot through your body at his actions, another moan eliciting itself from deep within. With his thumbs gently playing with your nipples and his dick growing harder and harder against your core, you swore you were on cloud nine. A laugh escaped Jisungs throat as he watched you seductively grind against him.

“That’s my girl.” he praised softly, smiling up at you. Your eyes popped open at his words, the praise sending chills straight down to your pussy, and he flashed you another evil grin before bringing his face back into your chest. 

He wasted no time in clamping his mouth down around one of your nipples, his tongue expertly running over it as his now free arm folded around you, holding you against him and causing a halt in your hips movements. A high-pitched cry left your mouth when he pinched the opposite nipple between his thumb and pointer finger, his tongue still working wonders against you.

It had been so long since you had any of this, felt any of this, that you weren’t sure what to do, how to react. No one had ever touched you like this before. Seojun barely spared you any type of physical affection when the two of you got intimate, and if he did, it was brief, never lasting long enough for you to even get worked up over.

Jisung was bringing you into unfamiliar territory, and quickly at that. Despite his strong hold against your lower back, despite wanting to melt into the way his tongue slowly worked your sensitive bud, blowing at it and nibbling when he needed to breathe, you couldn’t help but wiggle. You needed to feel this on top of the added movement of your hips grinding against his. You needed to feel that warm, fuzzy feeling build up in your tummy that you haven’t felt in years.

“Ji.” you cried as your hands flew up to tug at his hair, trying to pull him from your chest. Jisung mumbled a soft ‘hmmm’ in response, his attention solely focused on your breasts. 

“I need more.” you whined. The way your lower lip jutted out was more than a little pathetic, you knew that, but with the way Jisung was pleasuring you right now, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care. Jisung pulled away from you then and craned his head back to stare at you. 

“What’s wrong, Princess?” he doted, his fingers pausing in their attack on your swollen nipple and coming up to tug at your pout. “You want more?”

You cried against his touch.

“I need more.” you emphasised, your hips still struggling to move against his firm hold. "I need you." 

Jisung paused to brush a strand of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear and giving you a firm kiss on the lips before he released his hold on you.

"God, I want you so bad Princess." he whispered as his darkened eyes sparkled into yours. You swung your hips back and grinded hard against him, continuing your previous assault on the boner in his pants.

"Then fucking take me already Ji." you begged.

Jisung let out a small sigh and brushed some more hair from your face.

"I can't." he pouted. “Even though there’s nothing I would rather do more.”

You quirked your eyebrow and smirked at him as your hips continued their slow movement against his.  "Oh, and why is that Ji?" you teased around a small gasp, bringing your face to his jawline where you began planting soft kisses. 

Jisung sighed once more, his body growing tense under you, and you immediately stopped all of your movements. You pulled back to look at him, your eyes widening in concern as you took in the anxious expression that had suddenly fallen upon his face and the way he was nervously chewing on his lower lip,

“Ji, Baby, what’s wrong?”

Jisung swallowed roughly before his gaze fell to your shoulder. He pulled his lower lip into his mouth completely, his breath shaky as he gave you a slow response, the anticipation killing you.

“I just,” he paused before his eyes found yours again, his once darkened pupils now dilated with worry. “I don't want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you. We both have alcohol in us and I don’t want our first time to be made on a drunken decision that you’re gonna’ regret in the morning.”

His honesty melted your heart but his insecurities threatened to disintegrate it completely. You hadn’t even thought of the fact that the two of you were running on alcohol and adrenaline alone. You were completely consumed by him that you didn’t even stop to think about what he wanted, what he needed.

It was your turn to reach up and tug at his pout.

“Han Jisung, the man you are.” you whispered in complete awe. Jisung’s lower lip jutted out further and he blinked up at you through his long lashes.

“I’m sorry, Bubs.” he whispered. Instantly, your hands flew up to cup his face, forcing him to tilt his head back and look at you completely.

“Hey. None of that.” you lightly scolded. “Never apologise for speaking your mind and telling me how you feel, okay?” Your eyes shone into his so intensely Jisung thought he might cry. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint you and his anxiety was quickly making him feel as if he was.

He swallowed hard again, his eyes darting between yours. The two of you stared at each other intimately for a moment before he nodded, his body relaxing slightly beneath you.

"I will never regret you." you then added, making sure he understood every syllable and that he felt the truth behind your claim. “Never.”

A small breath of relief left Jisungs mouth and he nodded again, the reassurance charging him like a battery. That’s all he needed to hear.

“Thank you Jagi.” he whispered, his face leaning into the hands that were pressed against his cheeks. The warmth that radiated from your body mixed with the smell of you was soothing and comforting to him, so much so he suddenly felt tired and exhausted and like he could fall asleep right then and there.

You noticed his eyes closing, his body melding into yours, and you leaned forward to plant a kiss on his exposed forehead. Jisung smiled and opened his eyes slightly to beam up at you.

“I’d do anything for you, you know that, right?” you asked softly, your thumbs running delicately against his cheek bones. Jisung's eyes sparkled at your words, his lips tilting upwards into another one of his signature smirks.

“Anything?” he mimicked your words from earlier, causing a giggle to escape your lips. God, he could listen to that sound all day.

You gave his cheeks a small squeeze.

“Absolutely anything.” you quipped back before placing another kiss on his forehead, followed by one to his nose. Jisungs smirk broke out into a smile before he carefully hoisted you off of his lap and held his hand out to you while he stood from the couch.

“Come shower with me?” he asked, his eyes glimmering with joy. You stared up at him, your mind still trying to process how he managed to get you off of him and on to his feet so quickly.

“What?” you asked out of habit. It wasn’t that you hadn’t heard him, you heard him loud and clear, but your brain was foggy as the adrenaline from your lewd actions began to simmer.

Jisung took your hand in his and pulled you to your feet when you took too long to do so yourself. He wasted no time planting a kiss to your cheek before pulling you towards the bathroom door, that damn evil grin appearing on his face once more.

“The sooner we shower and clean up, the sooner we can go to sleep, and the sooner we go to sleep, the sooner we can wake up and do what we’re both dying to do right now.”

He didn’t even wait for your answer as he opened the door to the bathroom and pulled you promptly inside.

*****

Waking up the next morning beside Jisung was a strange and unfamiliar sensation. Not because you had someone in the bed next to you, that much you were used to by now, but because of the sheer level of intimacy that was shared between the two of you as your limbs tangled together in peace. 

You never woke up in another person's arms before, their face pressed into the back of your neck where their breath tickled you softly. It was strange to wake up engulfed in another person's scent, their arms wrapped tightly around your torso as if they were scared you’d disappear if they let go, even in their sleep.

It had been a long time since you woke up feeling this calm and at peace.

It had been a long time since you felt this safe.

You blinked your eyes open and glanced over at the alarm clock on your bedside table. It was only six in the morning. You let out a small groan. 

You were careful not to jostle Jisung too much as you reached blindly for your phone. You were happy to see you hadn’t received any more messages or calls from Seojun, but the twelve missed calls from Jo and the endless group chat messages left you feeling just as crappy.

You had totally forgotten to text the group last night to let them know you and Jisung were together and safe. You stifled a sound of guilt as you lazily swiped across the screen to read the messages everyone had sent.

You let out a small sigh, laughing silently to yourself at your friends and their antics. You debated texting them back, but Jisung shifting his body behind you had you dropping your phone to the table once more and turning softly in his embrace.

He lay on his back, his one arm still tightly wrapped around you while the other was now thrown across his forehead, trying to block the sunlight that poured into the room. A cool breeze blew through the open window, causing him to squeeze you against his warm body.

You rested your head onto his shoulder and glanced up at him, admiring him as he slept. 

He was absolutely exquisite.

His skin was glowing against the early morning sun, making the small scar along his forehead and the mole on his cheek stand out prominently. There were bags under his eyes, only slightly lighter than they were the night before, and his long eyelashes cast shadows across his cheeks beautifully.

The scar beside his eye was practically begging for you to run your finger along it, so you did, reaching up gently and making sure your touch was feather-light. With a mind of its own, your finger then moved to trace the bridge of his nose down to the tip before slowly running along the plushness of his lips. 

Your face began to heat up as you thought about his lips and what else they were capable of other than kissing you senseless, and you were so wrapped in the thought that you nearly jumped when Jisungs fingers dug into your side lovingly a moment later, signalling he was awake.

You grinned up at him and poked his mole, causing a smile to breakout across his face, his eyes still closed.

“Good Morning Princess,” he whispered, his voice raspy from sleep. “Did you sleep well?”

With your finger still prodding at the tiny beauty mark, you sighed.

“Better than I have in years.” you told him honestly. Jisung just smiled and brought his other arm around you again, pulling you up so you were laying on top of him, your legs now tangling with his.

You rested your hands along his naked chest, your chin propped on top of them as you melted into his touch and watched as his eyes opened slowly. He looked down at you as one of his hands reached up to brush his knuckles softly against your cheek.

“You’re so gorgeous, Jagiya.” he murmured. “I love you so much.”

You didn’t need to say it back. Jisung knew just from the twinkle in your eyes how deeply you felt for him. It made his heart pound in happiness.

The two of you were silent for a moment, staring at each other in wonder as you both got lost in thought. You felt breathless knowing he was yours now, completely and undeniably so.

You were so scared he wasn’t going to want you back after everything that happened. You were so sure you were going to tell him how you felt and he would just turn around and leave you in the dust, much like you left him. 

The fact that the two of you were here now, clinging to each other while you both tried to rid your bodies from sleep, was an absolute dream come true. It couldn’t have turned out better.

You impulsively reached one hand up to trace your fingers against his lips once more, your mind once again swirling with thoughts of him pleasuring you with it.

“I was so worried I wasn’t going to get you back.” you whispered, trying to mask the blush on your cheeks.

Jisung grabbed your fingers and kissed them gently before resting his cheek against them. 

“I was so worried you weren’t going to come back.” he answered just as quietly, his eyes staring into yours. You gave him a cheeky grin as you scooted up his torso, bringing your face level with his.

“Yejun told me about all of your late night endeavours. You’ve been pretty busy since I’ve been gone, huh?” you teased before planting a kiss to his cheek and nestling your face into his neck. You breathed him in as his arms wrapped tightly around you, holding you in place. 

A sigh left his mouth at your words and he let out an embarrassed chuckle.

“Yeah, I’m not proud of who I became when you left. Losing you was the worst thing that ever happened to me and it was obvious by my actions that I didn’t give a single fuck about those girls or their feelings.” he mumbled. You could tell by the tone in his voice he was severely disappointed in himself, so you lifted your head from his neck and poked his mole again as you stared into his eyes.

“Hey, those girls were lucky to have been underneath you.” you joked. Jisung gave you a soft smile and pushed some hair out of your eyes again as he answered, causing your heart to leap in your chest.

“And yet, none of them stood a single chance against you.”

You dimpled up at him, feeling speechless at his cheesy words before planting a tender kiss to his lips, though Jisung suddenly had other ideas in mind.

As you pulled your face away from him, his hand came up to hold the back of your head, halting you so he could chase you with his lips and pull you back down.

Despite the forty-five minute shower the two of you had the night before, where you did nothing but make out relentlessly in between washing each other's bodies, you still felt your stomach flutter when he pushed his lips against yours.

Despite the hour or so afterwards that you guys spent just holding each other in bed and kissing, never reaching past second base, you still felt your heart thump excitedly in your chest when Jisungs tongue slipped past your swollen lips and battled against yours.

Kissing him now felt as natural to you as breathing, but it still left you feeling breathless and weak to the butterflies that filled your tummy like it was the first kiss all over again. Well, second technically.

But, unlike the many kisses that were shared the night before, this one was quick to become needy and desperate. Gone was the long and slow exploration of each other's mouths and in came frenzied desire as you two clung to each other, both acknowledging it was now morning and you were free to do what you so desperately longed for all night.

With his tongue still battling yours, Jisung removed his hands from your head and let them roam down your body until they were cupping your ass. He squeezed handfuls of your cheeks into his palms, his nails digging desperately into your skin, causing you to hiss in delight as he pulled you against him. You could feel his bulge growing hard against the inside of his boxer briefs, and you felt excitement shake your bones when he lightly lifted his hips to push himself against your core.

You moaned noisily into Jisungs mouth as his hands then slipped further down your ass, his fingers reaching to prod lightly at your panty-covered core from behind. He wasted no time sliding your panties aside and running a finger teasingly along your folds, a groan leaving his mouth as he felt how wet you already were for him.

“Princess,” he mumbled against your lips, his hips pressing up into yours again. “You’re already so wet for me and I haven’t even done anything yet.” he teased as he slowly inserted the tip of his finger into you, only slipping far enough in to reach his first knuckle.

The feeling of just the tip of his finger toying with you had a whine slipping from your mouth as your hips began to grind against his.

“Sungie,” you groaned. “Need you so bad.”

Jisung grinned up at you in awe as he hugged you tight to his chest, his eyes sparkling in excitement when he slowly inserted his finger further into you. The most delectable sound left your mouth, encouraging him to then pump his finger in and out at a snails pace.

The feeling of his clothed dick pushing up into you mixed with his finger softly sliding in and out of your pussy had your legs shaking and your breath caught in your throat. He felt so damn good you could cry.

Jisung mocked the pout that fell onto your face with one of his own as he stared into your eyes, gauging your reaction to his actions.

“What’s wrong Bubby? Feels good, huh? You like it when I touch you like that?”

All you could do was nod in response and let your face fall into the crook of his neck, your breathing heavy.

It had been so long since you’ve been this worked up by something that wasn’t yourself and your own fingers. It was almost painful to feel your orgasm building so quickly.

Unexpectedly, Jisung slipped another finger into you at the same time that he dipped the tip of his thumb over the opening to your anus. A loud, almost pornographic gasp escaped from your throat at the unfamiliarity and foreign sensation.

No one had ever touched you there before, and while you never saw yourself as someone who would enjoy anything to do with that part of your body, you couldn’t deny the absolute euphoria that rattled your bones as Jisung repeated his actions once more.

“Is that okay, Princess?” he whispered, watching you intently for any signs of discomfort. You nodded quickly against his neck before lifting your face to come level with his again.

“Mm'do it again.” you begged before you pressed your mouth to his, the kiss immediately becoming sloppy, teeth clashing against each other as your resolve began to slip.

“Anything for my girl.” Jisung murmured back before he dipped his thumb into your opening again, his fingers moving in time with it.

The heat in your belly grew at double the speed as Jisung worked his digits inside of you. You felt manic as his hold around you loosened, allowing you room to move your hips against his all over again.

Within minutes, the three different sensations all working against you in tandem had you practically screaming, begging for relief. It was all too much.

Just as your head began to grow foggy and the heat in your stomach was on the verge of exploding, Jisung pulled his fingers out of you and flipped you onto your back, stopping you before you could reach your release.

A cry left your mouth involuntarily at the sudden loss of contact.

“What the fuck Ji?” you gasp, your breathing coming out in spurts.

Jisung smirked down at you from where he was hovering over your body on his forearms, his legs tangled with yours as he pressed his erection into your thigh. His silver-blonde hair fell into his eyes as that wicked smile spread across his puffy cheeks.

“Sorry Jagi, but I don’t want you cumming yet unless it's around my cock.”

A growl left your mouth unexpectedly.

“Motherfucker.” you ground out around clenched teeth as you pushed him off of you. Jisungs eyes widened in surprise but he obeyed you without a hassle, allowing you to push him back against the headboard and straddle his thin waist.

“Let’s see if you’re as bratty and submissive as everyone thinks you are.” you half-threatened, your hands working quickly to slip off his boxers. His thick, hard cock bounced back lightly against his stomach, causing you to pause and stare at him in wonder as you threw his boxers somewhere behind you.

Jisung bit the inside of his cheek at your hesitation, watching you nervously as you stared down at him. 

“Is it okay, Jagi?” he whispered out. Your eyes flickered up to his and you saw mountains of insecurity in them. Without a pause, you nodded your head and licked your lips, your eyes travelling back downwards.

“It’s fucking perfect Ji. Can’t wait to feel it inside of me.”

A small sigh left his mouth, his shoulders relaxing at your reassurance. 

“How’s your pull out game?” you then asked as you continued to stare at him, saliva pooling in your mouth at the mere thought of having him pumping inside of you. Jisung was quick to answer, his insecurities gone as quick as they came.

“As strong as it needs to be, why?”

“I just wann’ feel you raw.” you answered around a huff as you slid your panties off. The shirt Jisung was wearing the night before hung loosely around your body, barely covering your naked skin. Jisung swore he could cum right then and there from just the sight of you.

“Yeah?” his muscles tensed at the thought of having you wrapped around him with nothing separating your bodies. He moaned lightly just imagining it.

You licked your lips and nodded swiftly in response as you straddled his hips, his dick throbbing deliciously in between the two of you. 

"Yes. Please. Just let me feel you." You cried. You reached up and grabbed a handful of his hair again and pulled his head back roughly, your eyes shining into his.

Shamelessly, Jisung moaned into the feeling, staring up at you as if his biggest dreams were coming true, because they were.

He always dreamed of being with a dominant girl in the bedroom, but all of the females he’s ever been with insisted on him using his dominance over them. Sure, there was nothing he loved more than bending someone over and fucking them into submission, and he couldn't wait to do that to you, but he longed for the chance to let someone direct him. He yearned to let someone be in control for once and use him to their heart's content.

 And alas, here you were, doing exactly that without even being asked.

As if you needed to be any more perfect for him.

As if he needed to be more in love with you than he already was.

“There’s no one like you Jagiya.” he whispered in awe before he wrapped his arms around you and pressed his lips against yours. You positioned yourself over his dick and pulled his hair roughly once more, earning another whimper from his mouth before you lowered yourself down onto him.

The stretch was slow, excruciatingly delicious. He filled you so perfectly you nearly came from the skin on skin contact alone. Jisung must’ve felt it too because he squeezed his nails into your hip bones and helped pull you down completely until your pelvis was flush with his, a hiss slipping from his lips as euphoria hit him.

For several long seconds, the two of you froze, both crying out in pleasure at the highs that were already building from the naked sensation of each other's bodies against one another.

It made you feel delirious, the way he fit inside you so flawlessly, the tip of his cock pressing against your cervix delicately. Your hips twitched with anticipation, causing his dick to press further into you and you couldn’t do anything except let your head fall to his shoulder as a whine left your lips.

“Ji, Baby,” you cried. “You feel so good.”

Jisungs breathing was already laboured as he focused on not cumming inside you. Your walls clenched around him so effortlessly it was almost as if your bodies were made for each other.

“I know, Jagi. I know. Your pussy feels so good around me, it’s making me fucking crazy.” he whined.

"Are you good to go?" You asked, barely holding yourself back from grinding your hips down onto his. Jisung took another deep breath and nodded, desperate to feel you. 

You smiled against the skin of his shoulder as you then began to rock your hips, riding him slowly, allowing both of your bodies time to adjust to the feeling. Everytime you'd rock your hips forward, you'd yank Jisungs hair, causing him to whimper and buck his hips up into you, which in turn only encouraged you to move again, desperate for that friction. 

It was a vicious cycle that had you both whining with pleasure as you made love to him. Because that's what this was. You weren't fucking him, you were pouring every ounce of love you had for the man underneath you into each roll of your hips, and you knew, you felt, the loving pouring back into you from him as he thrust his hips upwards to meet you halfway. 

It didn't take you for long to reach your high again. The knot in your stomach tightened quickly with each movement and you were whimpering into Jisungs ear desperately despite being the one in charge. 

Jisung pressed his lips to your ear when he felt your pussy clench around him beautifully. He smiled against your earlobe as he tightened his hold around you.

"That's it Princess. Cum all over my cock." He whispered. That sentence alone, hearing the dirty words slip past his lips, is what sent you over the edge and you did exactly that. You came, hard, drenching him in your juices as a loud gasp fell from your lips and you dug your nails into his shoulders. 

Your legs shook violently as Jisung continued pressing his hips up into you, extending your orgasm into one of the best highs you've ever had. It had been so long since you've had one that tears immediately formed in your eyes and pooled down your cheeks. 

You shoved your face into Jisungs neck and sniffled, trying to stop the tears from flowing. Tears of relief for reaching the high you were barely able to accomplish on your own, and tears of happiness because Jisung was the one beneath you, making you feel this way. 

You always dreamed of this, of him being beneath you, on top of you, inside of you. You spent the last year and a half with another man, fantasising about this one specifically, and having those fantasies finally become a reality was absolutely mind altering. You've never been happier than in this moment.

Jisung stopped his hips movements when he felt your tears wet his skin, and he pulled away slightly to look up at you in concern. 

"Are you okay Princess? What's wrong?" His big, brown eyes were full of worry as he watched you cry. His dick was still hard inside of you, and yet all he could focus on was your emotions. 

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." You apologised as you wiped at the wetness on your cheeks. Jisungs hand came up to help wipe the tears that were spilling over uncontrollably. 

"What are you apologising for, Bubs?"

You hiccuped and shoved your face back into his neck, feeling heat flush your cheeks in embarrassment.

"I'm sorry. I'll be able to keep going in a minute. I just-” you hiccuped again. “I just haven't had one of those in a long time." You explained. 

"What, an orgasm?" Jisung was briefly shocked at your revelation, but it quickly turned to downright annoyance when realisation hit, but it wasn’t directed at you.

"Wait, that asshole never…?" He trailed off when he felt you shake your head against his neck. The two of you were quiet for a couple seconds as Jisung pulled you impossibly closer to him, his dick still twitching restlessly.

“How long has it been since you had one that wasn’t your own doing?” he asked quietly, his heart breaking for you. You took a shaky breath and mumbled your answer into his shoulder, feeling your cheeks flush even more.

“Years.”

Jisungs eyes nearly bulged out of his head, and he was glad you stayed nestled into him. The last thing he wanted was his surprise to be mistaken as pity and have you get even more upset than you already seemed to be.

“Oh, Princess.” he doted as he tightened his hold on you and flipped you onto your back unexpectedly with ease, his dick still burrowed deep inside you. The second your head hit the pillow, your eyes widened with worry and you began to shake your head in protest.

“What are you doing? No, no, no. I’m on top. I’m always on top.” you felt panic begin to grow inside your chest, but it faded away just as quickly as you saw the reassurance in Jisungs eyes. He pulled a hand out from beneath you and wiped at your tears, brushing his fingertips lightly against your cheekbones before kissing them promptly.

“Just take a deep breath Bubs” he whispered. “How about you let me make you feel good, hm? It’s the least I could do for the love of my life.” he cooed. You stared up at him in confusion for a moment, trying to process what it was he said.

He wanted to take over and fuck you?

The idea of being on the receiving end felt so foreign and strange to you. You’ve been the dominant one for so long, you barely remembered what it felt like to let someone else be in control. You stared up at him with your big beautiful eyes, a look of uncertainty in them, and Jisung’s heart nearly broke all over again. 

It was at that moment he vowed to himself that he would always do everything in his power to give you as many orgasms as you wanted, whenever you wanted. Anything to get that look of insecurity off your face.

He brushed his fingers against your cheek again when you still didn’t give him a consensual answer to keep going.

“Let me take care of you, Bubby. Let me show you what it feels like to be with a real man. One who loves every square inch of you, inside and out. Just lay back and let Sungie do all the work, yeah?” 

The amount of promise and emotion in his eyes had you choking on your next breath. A feeling of excitement brewed low in your stomach, one you hadn’t felt in forever, and you nodded eagerly. You didn’t realise how badly you were craving this until now.

With a satisfied smile, Jisung pulled out of you completely and kissed your forehead before repositioning himself. He took your one leg and laid it flat against the bed, moving to straddle it as he hoisted the other up onto his shoulder. Your body twisted slightly with the movement, leaving you half on your side and leaving your pussy tight and ready for him.

With his hand cradling your leg, he turned his head and kissed your calf softly before positioning himself at your entrance.

“Are you ready Princess?” he asked. You nodded breathlessly, eager to have him fill you up once more. Jisung sent you one of his sweet, gummy smiles before he turned his head and bit roughly into the muscle of your calf, his dick pushing into you at the same time. The pain and pleasure of both actions mixed together so perfectly you let out a string of curse words in response.

The position he had you in was new, one you never tried before, and while your butt ached from the way your body was twisted, you couldn’t deny how good it felt. His dick was pushing against your cervix so flawlessly you nearly passed out from the pleasure alone.

“Oh my fucking god,” you cried as Jisungs hips began to rock into you. The friction of his pelvis rubbing against yours from how deep he pushed was blinding, his mouth only adding to the intensity as he licked and bit at your leg.

You let out a loud squeal as he pulled himself half-way out and slammed back into you again. 

“I told myself I was going to take my sweet ass time with you, but the way your pussy is clenching around me right now is making me fucking feral Princess.” he breathed as he picked up his pace, his hips rocking more forcefully into you.

You let your head fall into the pillow as another round of obscene sounds left your throat. Jisung’s head had fallen back in pleasure as he cursed under his breath. You were so perfect for him. He wanted to take care of you and absolutely destroy you at the same time.

“My god, you’re so perfect for me Jagi.” he groaned as his face fell downwards so he could stare at you. You were looking back at him already, your face contorted into a look of pure bliss as he fucked you senseless. He felt his high approaching but he forced it back, wanting to make you finish at least once more before he did.

Luckily for him, you were close, and when his hands came down to wrap around your thigh, his nails digging into your skin as he pulled you even closer, allowing him to go deeper, you shattered.

“Fuck Ji, baby. I’m cumming. I’m cumming. I’m cumming.” you cried loudly as you exploded around him, your walls squeezing him deliciously. Jisungs hips halted as he pressed into you as far as he could go, wiggling slightly to help overstimulate you. He paused there, watching your face melt into a puddle of pure satisfaction. 

“You’re so good for me Princess.” he reached down to cup your chin, forcing you to look at him as you shook in sensitivity. “Keep your eyes on me, okay? I’m not done yet.”

Before you could process his words, Jisung manoeuvred himself once again until he was snug between both of your legs, looming over you in missionary. His dick automatically slid back into your slick cunt and he wasted no time chasing the high he had been holding back.

He thrust into you hard, his dick sliding delightfully against your walls, his eyes never leaving yours and yours never leaving his. You had barely come down from your previous orgasm, the oversensitivity building another one up so quickly it was overwhelming. But you didn’t dare ask him to stop. Not when he was making you feel so heavenly.

“Fuck Jisung. Fuck, fuck fuck. Your dick feels so good inside of me.” you whimpered as he continued to relentlessly slip in and out of you, the overstimulation perfect. “I’m gonna’ cum again.”

Jisung let out a hearty laugh as his face fell into your neck, his lips and teeth gliding against your skin as he squeezed your hips and tried to hold you still.

“You gonna’ give me another one?” he teased, to which all you could do was nod in response. His question quickly sent you over the edge again unexpectedly, your body floating in bliss as the white hot pleasure threatened to blind you.

 “Holy shit, Bubby. Your pussy feels amazing sucking me in like this. You’re so fucking tight. Shit.” Jisung’s movements faltered as his orgasm approached quickly. “Shit, Princess, I’m gonna’ cum. Let me out.”

Instead of allowing him enough room to exit and cum all over your tummy, you wrapped your legs around his slutty waist and squeezed him closer to you. Jisungs eyes widened in panic, his hips stuttering again.

“What’re you doing?” he squeaked as he tried to hold back his orgasm long enough to escape. The pout on your face would have driven him over the edge if your next words hadn’t.

“I want you to cum inside of me Ji.” you whimpered, staring into his eyes.

“Wha-?” Jisung stuttered over his words. He was feeling so frenzied he barely managed to slow his hips down long enough to make sure he heard you right. “Are you - fuck - are you sure?"

You nodded quickly, feeling tears form in your eyes again because of how desperately you wanted to feel him. “I wann’ feel you fill me up. Please Jisung. Make me yours.”

The affirmation was all he needed. Jisung nodded and pressed a kiss to your lips as he bucked his hips, picking up his pace once more. The small break in his movements, the unintentional edging, left him absolutely pussy drunk. He began slamming into you with so much force your body was moving up the bed with every thrust.

“Oh Jagi,” he moaned. “I’m gonna fill you up so good. Gonna give it to you so nice. Fuck. Tell me how much you love me Bubby. Tell me you’re all mine.” he begged desperately.

The oversensitivity from your orgasm had you feeling unhinged, barely able to keep your eyes open, let alone form another sentence to respond.

“‘Mmmm love you s’much Ji. More than anything else in’he world. I’m all yours.”

“Fuck Jagiya. I’m fucking cumming.”

A second later, he exploded. His load shot into you at neck-breaking speed, painting your walls and filling you to the brim. He had waited so long to fuck you, there was so much of it. It spilled out of you so easily, and yet, Jisung couldn’t get enough of those pretty sounds leaving your mouth.

He squeezed his eyes shut as he forced his hips to continue a slow thrust forwards, extending his orgasm impossibly more, the overstimulation driving him crazy. 

You let out a whimper as you felt his dick slowly softening inside of you. Regardless, it still felt amazing pushing inside of your pussy, and you knew if he kept thrusting into you like that, you’d cum again from the feeling of it alone.

“You got one more in you, yeah?” Jisung asked lovingly as he pushed the hair off of your sweaty forehead. Your eyes barely opened, a soft cry leaving your mouth as you nodded, desperate for that high you suddenly felt absolutely addicted to.

“Of course you do, that’s why you’re so good for me.” he praised as he continued to fuck you while his dick softened. It was rubbing so delicious into your swollen clit, a mixture of your juices and his spilling from you and onto the bed sheets.

“Gotta’ make sure my Princess is satisfied.” Jisung lips found yours and he brought you in for a long, slow, burning-hot kiss. One that was no longer rushed, no longer delirious and desperate. One that, much like the night before, held mountains of love and adoration and happiness. One that showed you just how much you meant to him, how much he needed you, how hard he fell for you.

It was passionate, feeling his tongue glide over yours as his dick lazily pushed in and out of you, your orgasm building as quickly as the others had. His hands slowly trailed up underneath your shirt and he softly caressed your breasts, his fingers moving to play with your nipples as his swollen lips left yours and latched onto your neck. He licked the sensitive spot right below your jawline before biting it gently and before you knew it, another orgasm hit, an exhausted cry leaving your mouth.

“That’s my fucking girl.” Jisung praised, his hips stuttering to a halt as you came around his cock one last time. 

He watched you with pure adoration, loving the way your face twisted up in pleasure as you came around his semi-hard dick. You looked absolutely gorgeous, hair sprawled out across the pillow, body slick with sweat, your eyes barely open as your jaw fell slack. 

You were so beautiful he felt himself growing hard again already. He would've loved to keep going, fucking you like this for hours until you were both spent and exhausted, but the pained look that spread across your face when he experimentally bucked his hips forwards once more told him you were done for.

Jisung carefully pulled out of you as you tried to catch your breath. He smiled down at you before he rolled onto his back and pulled your naked body on top of him. You barely had enough energy to look at him, so you settled for resting your head across his chest. 

Jisung wrapped one of his strong hands around your waist while the other played with your hair softly, his fingers brushing through the knotted and sweaty strands.

The two of you laid like that for a while, both silently catching your breaths. You listened to his heartbeat pumping softly in your ear and it was so comforting you were sure you would've fallen asleep if Jisung hadn't spoken up into the silence that engulfed the room.

"So I've been thinking."

"Uh oh. That's dangerous." You teased. You twisted your head to smirk up at him as he grinned down at you and pinched your sides in retaliation. An adorable squeal escaped your mouth then as his fingers proceeded to gently tickle you, and Jisung swore your laugh was the most beautiful sound ever to exist on earth. He'd listen to it for eternity if he could. 

"You're a jerk." He mused, planting a soft kiss to your forehead. You beamed up at him and pinched his cheeks.

"You love me." 

Jisung didn't bother denying it. He simply just beamed back at you before leaning forwards to plant another kiss to your face, this one on your nose. 

"More than you'll ever understand." 

He paused to take a deep breath, brushing your messy hair away from your face before he continued on with what he wanted to say. 

"Anyways, as I was saying. How would you feel about moving into the house with the rest of us?" 

Still staring up at him, you arched an eyebrow and gave him another sly smile despite the way your heart rate rose quickly at his question.

"Han Jisung," you tsked. "That's a big step. We aren't even dating yet." 

You expected a pout to appear on Jisungs face at your joke, but you were surprised to find him smirking back at you instead, his tongue prodding the inside of his cheek in amusement. 

"Really? 'Cause I thought it was pretty obvious that we were after I had you practically screaming my name just a minute ago." Your jaw dropped in surprise at his upfront teasing. Jisungs smirk deepened as he caught your reaction before he mimicked you in a high-pitched voice, moaning with each word as it left his mouth dramatically. 

"Oh Jisung! Oi Papi! You're so good! I love you so much! More than anything else in the world! I'm all yours! Take me, take me!”

You smacked his arm and tried to hide your giggle around a hard glare, but failed miserably. “Alright, alright. It wasn’t that dramatic.” 

Jisung let out a laugh of his own at his theatrics and snuggled you closer to him.

“Seriously though, Bubs. Move into the house with us. You practically live there already. We can turn the guest bedroom into an office for you and you can stay with me in mine. We’ve been dying to have you move in for years now.” he explained as he rubbed a hand slowly up and down your back. 

Electricity shot through the ends of his fingertips as he trailed his fingers along the curve of your spine. You melted into his touch as you stared up at him, your fingers coming up to prod at his adorable mole again. 

Moving in with Jisung and the rest of the family seemed like nothing but a green flag. You did already spend all of your time at the house rather than your own apartment, and you knew each and every member of your friend group would be absolutely over the moon if you moved in. But, you were an introvert at heart, and although you loved your friends dearly, you knew you’d miss your cherished alone time and private space.

“I don’t know Ji.” you whispered as you stared at his beauty mark, unable to meet his gentle gaze. Jisung’s grin softened as he searched your eyes for any sign of you being uncomfortable with his request. He was relieved to find none but he did notice a hint of uncertainty in them, which he knew came from your introverted nature.

“I know you always said you enjoyed having your own space, but I’d feel a hell of a lot better if you moved in with us. I wouldn’t have to worry so much about Seojun showing up out of nowhere and catching you when you’re home alone.” he whispered.

You didn’t want to see the look of disappointment you knew would come to his face when you turned down his idea, so you settled with biting your lip as if you were still undecided.

“I don’t know. I need space for all of my stuff, and you and I both know that the guest bedroom is desperately needed for the amount of parties you idiots throw during your off time. I’ve seen more naked bodies in that bed than I care to admit.”

Jisung let out a small huff and curled his mouth to the side as he fell into another thought, taking your response seriously. You waited patiently as you watched the gears in his brain work in double time while he tried to come up with a better solution.

“Well, what if we move out and get a place together? I can keep you safe.”

Your heart jumped at the proposal, warmth spreading throughout your limbs as soon as the words left Jisungs mouth. You were taken back by how quickly he managed to come up with the idea, almost like he had been debating it for a while. 

The second the words reached your ears, there wasn’t anything you wanted more, but you still found yourself shaking your head and giving him a pointed look.

“You wouldn’t hurt a fly, Ji.” you stated, as if that was reason enough not to. Jisungs eyebrows furrowed and he gave you an artificial look of disgust.

“Excuse you, but if Seojun ever dared to show up around here again, you can bet your sweet ass I’d put him in the hospital.”

You let out a thankful smile before you sighed.

“You don’t have to feel obligated to move in with me to keep me safe.” you spoke, your voice soft and quiet. Jisung scoffed at your words and shook his head as if what you said was the stupidest thing he’d ever heard.

“Princess, I’m not doing it as an obligation.” he paused to catch your chin in between his fingers as you began to turn your head away, forcing you to look him in the eye. “I’m not doing it for you, I’m doing it for me, okay? For us. Because now that I have you, the thought of not waking up next to you or coming home to you from here on out makes my stomach turn with anxiety. I don’t want to go another day or night without you by my side.”

You swore to yourself you weren’t going to cry again for the rest of the day, rest of the week even, but after seeing the honesty and sincerity and absolute devotion in his dark eyes, you felt the tears begin to form. The two of you were silent for a moment as he let his words, his emotions, sink in. 

This was it for him. You were it for him. There was nowhere else he’d rather be.

 You pouted up at him in astonishment.

“You’d… You’d move out of the family house and find a place with me?”

Jisung smiled down at you and wiped at the tears that were threatening to spill out of your widened eyes.

“Baby, I’d marry you tomorrow if I could.”

You swallowed roughly, choking back a sob at his words. It was definitely too soon to be talking about marriage, but the underlying commitment and unspoken promise in his voice rocked you to the core, rendering you speechless.

“I’m also going to sit down and talk with Chan and the managers to see what I have to do in order to bring you along with us whenever we travel for tours and performances and such.” 

You blinked up at him, the surprise from his previous statement only making you more emotional. You weren’t expecting that.

“What?” was all you managed out. Jisung brushed his fingers through your hair and let out a hearty laugh.

“What? I was serious when I said I didn’t want to go another night without sleeping next to you.”

Your eyebrow shot up in question.

“Is that really a good idea?”

Jisung shrugged his shoulders and pulled your naked bodies impossibly closer together, revelling in the feeling of your soft skin on his. He could never get enough of this, enough of you.

“Ash and Jo come along with us. So why can’t you?”

It was your turn to scoff and let out a laugh. 

“Ash has to, she's the head of make-up. And Chan threw an absolute fit when it came to Jo and that barely worked. How do you know they’ll let you?”

“I’ll throw a bigger fit.” Jisung answered, as if it was obvious. A smile broke out onto your face and you shook your head at him as he continued speaking. “I’m an idol, Baby. They have to let me. Plus, if the sex continues being this incredible, I won’t survive without it. And I can guarantee you none of them would want to put up with my cranky, stressed out ass if I’m forced to go months without you. I swear to God, there’s nothing more stress-relieving than being balls deep inside of your perfect little pussy.”

His voice had gone deep and husky, and you could feel his dick growing hard against your leg once again. Butterflies set off inside your stomach at his words, his tone. His one hand tightened its hold around your waist while the other guided your face towards his, his nose tracing yours.

“You’re so dramatic.” you whispered, your lips hardly brushing his. 

Jisungs hand held your head in place as he pressed a soft kiss to your lips. You immediately melted into his touch, his scent, his taste as he opened his mouth and ran his tongue along yours lazily.

“Not dramatic. Just hopelessly in love.” he whispered as he pulled away and beamed up at you, his eyes sparkling with that familiar look of lust and love and happiness. You pulled further away from him and prodded his mole again with your finger, deciding it was your favourite thing to do.

“And what happens when this honeymoon phase ends Ji?” you questioned with a quirk of your brow. Jisung turned his head and caught your finger between his teeth, biting it playfully as his hand began tracing the curvature of your ass.

“Oh trust me. It never will. You’re my destiny, Jagiya.”

You practically swooned.

“Damn,” you breathed, fanning yourself dramatically, ignoring the flush that engulfed your cheeks and spread to your ears. “You love me that much?”

Jisung squeezed your ass into the palm of his hand, unintentionally pulling you against his hardening dick.. You could see the heat and desperation growing in his darkening eyes, causing a ball of fire to brew in the pit of your stomach.

“More than you’ll ever understand y/n. My love for you is like an eternal flame. It burns brighter than the sun and hotter than any desert on earth. It is truly and utterly endless.”

At his confession, you moved to abruptly straddle his waist, his words igniting a fire in your core. His dick pushed deliciously against your opening. Jisung let out a whimper as you lightly rubbed your pussy against the head of his cock, teasing him as you sent him a knowing smirk.

“You mean like a volcano?” you inquired. The smile that broke out onto Jisungs face would forever be imprinted into your eyelids as he connected the dots to what you were saying. He shook his head at you in awe, wrapping his arms around your waist and hugged you tightly to his chest as he pulled you down onto him. He filled you to the brim in one motion, ripping a loud cry from your throat.

“You’re damn right Princess. Like a Goddamn volcano.”

AHH I CAN'T BELIEVE WE'RE AT THE END OMG!!

as mentioned in a previous post, I will not be writing/posting a Jisung POV anytime soon, but I do want to eventually do a bonus chapter, whether that be a pov or a time jump, idk yet. i will make an announcement about it closer to the time i do, so watch out for that.

Thank you all so much for reading and joining me on my journey of reposting this fic. As my first one, it is still so dear to my heart and I'm thankful I had that chance to go back and edit what I wanted to. I'm so much happier with this version than the original on my old blog. I hope you all love it as much as I do!

Taglist || @sungshineworld @collisvng @ihrtlix @queen-in-the-shadows @cassidymb121

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[lovelytsunoda]

the poolhouse // clement novalak (mini fic)

summary: after watching her boyfriend film a tiktok for his podcast, y/n and clement escape to the pool house to spend some quality time together.

pairing: clement novalak x female reader

warnings: clement being a lovesick idiot (but most importantly, respecting his beloveds sexual boundaries!), consumption of alcohol, oral sex (female receiving)

the way that clement novalak moved was criminal.

the sun was setting beyond the palms as the group sat in marcus armstrong's backyard in new zealand, clement and james in the pool, attempting to film a tiktok to promote screaming meals.

time after time, clement launched himself out of the water, tossing his hair back like an actor in some eighties movie (although if she was ever forced to choose between her boyfriend and dirty dancing-era patrick swayze, she was picking patrick swayze).

the pair were so different that nobody thought the relationship would work. clement was outgoing and always needed to be doing something, and y/n was soft and gentle, and would rather stay home with a book. in addition to these differences, they also had vastly different sex drives. clement could get it up whenever and wherever, whereas it took some time for y/n, and her libido was more responsive than clem's. but they made it work, even if it meant scheduling sex into their calendars at least once a month.

but watching clem in that swimming pool? oh yes, her body was very responsive to that.

clem ambled out of the pool, using his fingers to slick his hair back over his scalp. fingers that she suddenly wished were inside her as she choked on her glass of water.

he slipped onto the lounger next to her, and y/n wasted no time throwing one leg over his and resting her head against his damp chest.

“hey, darling. did you miss me that much?” Clem chuckled, pulling her close and kissing her softly.

she whispered his name softly, running her hand over his bare chest. “clem, i need you.”

“is this a now problem, or can it wait until we get home, love?” given the often erratic nature of their sex life, clement tried to avoid quickies when he could, as he would much rather take his time giving his lover the full princess treatment.

“havent quite figured that out yet.” y/n mumbled, kissing clems cheek before getting up from the lounger. “i do, however, need a stronger drink. care to come with?”

“anything for you, pretty lady.”

the couple walked hand in hand towards the poolhouse, giggling and laughing to each other as james and marcus gave each other a look.

it was rare that they were ever around a couple who loved each other as much as clement and y/n. marcus was taking bets on when they’d stop beating around the bush and get married to each other.

they slipped inside the pool house, which felt like a large living room and kitchen. clement went straight for the exotic fruit tray on the counter, popping a small chunk of pineapple into his mouth while his lover filled the blender with ice.

“want a bite?” clem offered, holding out a pineapple slice.

“sure.” y/n agreed, sliding the ice tray back into the freezer. “do you want a pina colada?”

“I’ll just steal yours.” clem shrugged as he lover leaned over the kitchen island, taking a bite out of the slice. “hang on just a second.” clem said softly, using the tips of his fingers to wipe up the pineapple juice that had dripped from y/n’s lips.

“did you get it all?” she asked, patting at the skin around her lips.

“yeah, i think so.”

and in a move that shocked them both, y/n leaned forward, gently taking her lovers fingertips into her mouth and sucking up the remainder of the pineapple juice.

clem’s eyes widened, his muscles tensing as a small jolt of arousal went through his veins.

“i didn’t want anything to go to waste.” she blushed, voice sweet as she tried to avert her eyes.

“that’s bold for you, sweetheart. but I dont mind it, dirty girl.”

clem didn’t miss the way that y/n tensed, a touch of panic in her eyes as she took a step back from the countertop- and her lover.

“we talked about this, clement. remember what I said about what I needed to feel safe in the bedroom?”

and clem felt like shit. he hated that he was the person making y/n feel like this. he was the first to admit that sometimes he got carried away when it comes to sex. but it had been a learning curve since he and y/n had taken their relationship to that stage. she was sweet and gentle and jaded. she needed to feel loved all the time, and that carried over to the bedroom.

for y/n, sex was intimate and vulnerable. the act carried a lot of emotions, and it wasn’t something that she took lightly.

“I’m so sorry, love.” his voice wavered as he watched y/n’s shaky hands take the cap off of the pina colada syrup. “i got a bit carried away, but you know that I love you, y/n. you are the apple of my eye, the most important thing in my life. and I would never do anything to embarrass you or make you feel anything less than perfect, in or out of the bedroom.”

“i know.” y/n exhaled, the bad feeling slowly leaving her stomach. this was still her sweet lover boy clement. her hands were steadier now as she poured a small serving of malibu into the blender. “I’m probably overreacting anyways.”

“sweetheart, you overreact about a lot of things. but never this. I’m glad that you told me before I crossed the line too far and did something that really made you feel uncomfortable.”

“come over to this side and hold me while I make us a drink, you big dork.”

grateful that things were back to the way they were supposed to be, clement crossed the island to pull y/n into his arms, gently placing a kiss to her shoulder as she started the blender.

this was the clement that she loved. the clingy, sweet, affectionate version of the driver that only she got to see.

“grab a glass, I’ll get the straws.”

“coming right up, pretty girl.” clement quipped, placing a cocktail glass on the counter for y/n to pour the slush into.

she placed both reusable straws in the glass before turning around and offering her lover a sip. with a childish grin, the frenchman dropped a small pink drink umbrella in the glass, and they both giggled.

“I love you.” she said softly, before taking a sip of the drink.

after she swallowed, clem leaned over the glass to kiss her softly, cradling her cheek in his hand. “you taste like coconut.”

“you’re so cheesy.” she laughed. “you’re going to have to try it, too.”

ever the golden retriever, clem took his own sip of the drink before kissing his girlfriend, cradling her body close.

“god this is strong. how much syrup did you put in.”

“enough.” y/n laughed “you taste like it too.”

“we’re awful.” clem laughed, placing the glass on the counter before scooping his lover into his arms and carrying her over to the indoor/outdoor couch.

“i know. but only in the way that old married couples are.” she laughed softly, holding hands with her boyfriend as he kissed up her leg.

one kiss. four kisses. three kisses.

i love you.

there were plenty of amazing things that clement novalak could do in the bedroom, but those little kisses in that exact sequence was her favourite. it was clements way of reminding her how loved she was.

he gently slipped his hands underneath the seam of her swimsuit bottoms, waiting for her signal before slipping the baby pink fabric off her skin, folding the garment gently before placing it on the couch.

“I love you, clement novalak.” she hummed, gently carding her fingers through clems hair as she rested her thighs on his shoulders.

“I love you, y/n y/l/n.” clement grinned before kissing her thigh one last time before he gently ran his tongue over her slit.

“oh, sweet jesus, that feels good.”

she could feel clement smile, the gentle tickle of his stubble against her skin as he shook his head, making his girlfriend giggle. a giggle that soon tapered into a moan as clem kissed her core, gently sliding his tongue inside her.

“that’s it, sweet girl. I just want you to feel so so good, honey. I love making you feel good, darling.”

———

back outside, lissie mackintosh seemed to be the only one who noticed that the couple were missing.

“it shouldn’t take almost an hour to make a pina colada.” the influencer mused. she had previously filmed episodes of screaming meals with the boys and had fostered a close friendship with marcus in the time since.

marcus and james exchanged a look before they both burst out laughing.

“you really think they went to get drinks?” james laughed. “they have drastically different sex drives, but when you’re around them long enough you realize that when she wants him, she really wants him.”

“I just wish they’d not do it in the pool house.” marcus scowled. “they’d better clean up after themselves.”

“what did we miss?” y/n laughed, her face still pink and a hickey beginning to form on her thigh as she and clem rejoined the party, hand in hand an inseparable from each other as he passed her the pina colada glass.

“I love you.” clem whispered with a smile, kissing her neck as he hugged her from behind. “I’m gonna marry you someday.”

“after I finish college, that way james doesn’t get the payout from the bet.” y/n laughed, kissing him softly. “I love you too.”

Tags:

@mignonricciardo @scuderiamh @sidcrosbyspuck @magnummagnussen @clemswrld

[bitchesgetriches]

hello bitches! i just recently quit a job of 8 years, my second job ever, and i am finding myself feeling lost about the whole employment situation on account of being relatively young and inexperienced lol. i just had an interview with a tech job that said they'd get back to me in 2 weeks, but i dont want to wait that long to find out if they even want to have another interview with me, so i'm considering submitting some apps elsewhere - but what should i do if i hear back from another job *before* hearing back from this initial job? i'm stressed! thanks in advance!

My sweet summer child, getting one too many job offers would be a fantastic problem to have.

First, here's how you should follow up with the tech job you want:

I Just Applied for a Job. How (And When) Should I Follow Up? 

Next, you should absolutely keep applying to other jobs, pretending as if you're not holding out hope for that tech job. If you get an offer, stall for a bit by asking how long you have to think about it. Worst case scenario, accept an offer, and then tell them you changed your mind if you get a better offer. This happens in business all the time, and they won't judge you for flexing your big-kid-corporate-worker muscles.

Here's more advice:

{ MASTERPOST } Everything You Need to Know about Getting a Job, Raise, or Promotion 

Did we just help you out? Tip us!

[randomsebs]

HAHA

An Annabelle supporter/BOW, aka the biggest Annabelle ass kisser, has seen my post. She uploaded it onto her stories as if everyone will look at it and go: “WHATT?!” Yeah, because that’s what Annabelle’s cult followers do. They share a hive mind, it’s practically all they do now if you don’t like her. They go: “😨🤯YOU DONT LIKE ANNABELLE?! SHE SHOULD —- YOU”, which is said by His fake ass lawyer on Twitter, and btw, no it isn’t a joke. This is serious.

Just because I don’t like Annabelle doesn’t make me “invalid”, “crazy”, “jealous”. Sebastian is my comfort actor, COMFORT. I do not see myself “fucking” him. I am in a RELATIONSHIP. A HEALTHY RELATIONSHIP. Way healthier than with Seb and AW.

If this is a real relationship, it’s toxic as fuck. When they breakup , she’s not gonna be known more than as his “ex girlfriend”. Because tell me, the only things you know her from are from her PR boyfriends and Peaky blinders. Multiple articles have said it themselves, she’s a forgetful actress. Her role was mostly cut out of King Arthur because the director didn’t like her as Maggie.

I miss Sebastian’s ex girlfriends, do I think they were PR? No. Do I think after he signed up for CAA he’s been in PR? Yes.

It’s a very common thing within Hollywood, I hope you all know that. I mean him and his exes were always caught kissing, hugging, laughing, what not. With her it’s quite the opposite. We’ve heard from multiple of sebs co-workers the fact that seb is a good guy, but with Annabelle, it seems like her co-workers are uncomfortable with her or just dislike her. Which is the same with Tom cruise by the way.

You worship her, for what?? A high five from Seb? Oh PLEASE. Spare me the decency !! You have to be kidding, right? Seb does not give a single shit about what you say about their PR relationship.

It’s very obvious the PR is for HER gain, plus she is friends with her ex, has been seen hanging out with him while in a relationship with Chris pine, literally is SO CLOSE with her “bestie” Drew and all of a sudden is so close with her new “bestie”, James (the one who “congratulated” Sebastian in his story for more attention too)

It’s not a “rumor” that she’s an alcoholic. She literally posts photos of herself having wine in the back, every after party she has wine, on vacation she’ll have wine in her hand, dinner photos she’ll have wine in her hand, promoting a wine brand (previously), and etc. there’s PHOTO PROOF I have of her being problematic, not to mention I can just screen record it right now (if you still don’t believe me).

Sebastian doesn’t even carry her luggage, he only lets her hold a finger (he never did that before), and you mainly see them leaving each other behind or standing 4 to 6 feet away from each other. Seriously?? If that was any of his exes, he’d be practically doing anything he could to make them feel comfortable, there’s photos to prove that too.

The fact that people have different opinions is shocking, I know right??🤡🤡

CAA, aka the company Seb joined in 2020, is known for promoting PR relationships and putting their clients into them to promote their public figure. Seb doesn’t need it, Annabelle does. She hasn’t became this known since she even started dating famous men, starting all the way from James R.

Seb has NEVER been more baited in a relationship before. She baits everyone anyways, including her leech friends. When she was recording the “game” she purposefully slowed down when it got to Brady and Beckham, just to prove that she is sitting near Tom and David?? Not to mention she is purposely trying to get the cameras attention, looking into any camera she can see, trying to move closer to Tom and David, whatever. It’s annoying and desperate. She tries way too hard to stand out and be noticed, not to mention tries to be “funny” and pretend she’s “private” since getting with Seb in the first place.

Oh but what did she do before? Post her PR boyfriends 24/7 for more spotlight and attention. What a shocker!!! It’s getting tiring. Plus she also follows his fan accounts, stalks the fan pages, stalks tumblr blogs/posts, etc. she is a creepy stalker, there’s no denying it… she even looks into what people say about her and her fake relationship with Seb, it has been proven MULTIPLE times.🙄 When will you people open your eyes???

[blommp717]

okay so what really confuses me is that ya'll say that nothing is real but " " (yourself) and other people dont exist.... but like, if others dont exist.. why r u explaining this philosophy to non-existent people.....? AND like u guys are telling everyone "that no one exists" but like that doesnt make sense... like idk how to explain it, but does everyone have awareness? if everyone has that " " doesnt that mean that they DO exist, which in a way makes the "illusion".. real?and ur telling everyone that they are the "gods"of their reality but thats contradictory... because there can only be one "god" or else everyone would clash... right? like... who exists... who doesnt? Do I exist? Because telling someone that noone exists implies that *I* am non existant... but then you're also telling "me " that no one exists which is... contradictory sorry if this ask is confusing im about to go to bed lol just rlly confused.

(also will be sending this ask to other bloggers bc i want to see all the diffrent answers)

I’m really not quite sure if you read the stuff on my page first before saying all of this or if this was just a copy paste to a bunch of bloggers so u made it general type of situation.

Just to preface this long message

(I reassalllyyyy tried not to miss write anything, please taken in mind it’s late for me but this is really most of the time I even have to respond and I’m incredibly tired so bypass my little typos)

I’ve never promoted the false idea that there is only you (the self). That goes against my point and if that were case I wouldn’t ever verbalize any of these realizations because well, what would be the purpose, like you said.

This idea that there is only me, is amazing for the ego/self because there’s an illusion of someone having or gaining power and control, well let’s get rid of that because it’s not real. (Sorry to break it)

So I’m not sure what you’ve been reading (most likely manifesting bloggers) but let me point you in the right direction (so to speak).

Nothing is INHERENTLY “real”. All identification as self, me, my, I’m, and I, are all illusions, they’re completely baseless and only exist as ideas and thoughts. What I’ve explained a number of times is, the self is just a realization of itself so to speak. The more you try to argue that “no but I am myself see?” You realize those are just sentences in the same way, “I think I want water” is just a sentence. And the only thing that can ever “validate” the existence of self is more thoughts. See? Go ahead, try to prove the self is real without using thoughts. And while the silence becomes more apparent, it might click for u.

Infiniteness, wholeness, god, appearing as this sense of self. The ideas and thoughts essentially “interact” with each other to validate that there is someone here even further. Then this sense of me and myself is linked (by more thoughts) to the body. You start saying myself when referring to the body instead of saying “the body”. It all blurs into one line of “I’m the body” and suddenly the world starts happening to you. Funny.

But it’s pretty funny how you can never pinpoint where the sense of self rests in this body can you? It’s not some kind of being sitting in the head, it’s nowhere. It’s just an idea, a thought pretending to be some form of separateness.

This applies to “everyone”. And actually this is how I know you probably haven’t read like 90% of what I’ve said on my page because I explain heavily what I mean so no one stays confused 😭😭😭

Regardless. I think you recognize what I’m trying to say here. God/Awareness/No-thing or even “ “, appears as the sense of self. Inherently self is not something that’s tangible or solid. It’s baseless and malleable. In most of my writings I say sense of self for this exact reason. It’s just a sense of there being a self not an actuality. There is only one god, all appearing as seperate. This part is actually incredibly easy to understand so I’m gonna explain it quickly.

Based of what I’ve just told you, we recognize that it’s just a sense of self, thoughts scrabble that pretends identity with even more thoughts. Inherently nothing.

I feel like I need a speaker for this one

JUST BECAUSE ITS ILLUSORY AND YOU KNOW IT, DOESNT MEAN ITS GOING TO DISAPPEAR.

This is like making a plate out of clay and saying it’s only and solely clay, inherently it’s only clay, but APPEARS aka is the illusion of a plate. The plate doesn’t morph back into a ball of clay just because you’ve recognized it without the label of plate.

I never told people that the sense of self is god, I say them as “ “ and I’m very careful to do this because well, people like you 😭😭.

Everything is completly illusory, and label or word or defining factor is false. It’s hollow and holds no actual substance. This also just means, all that is realize as “ “ is exactly what appears to be happening, because there is only god. This is what people confuse as manifesting.

I don’t say any of this with hate, I know it can come across that way when you can hear a persons voice and have to read it solely but yeah, I really hope this cleared some stuff up for you and others 🫶🌴☀️🥥

[rewritingcanon]

Sorry, this might be a long rant but those anons and replies you were getting got me going. TERFs always say how trans women are “cosplaying” or “performing” what they think a woman is. But, and I say this as a cis woman, don’t cis women do that too? I’d argue that it’s not even performing womanhood, it’s performing femininity, and isn’t femininity a performance at the end of the day? Cis women wear makeup, jewelry, dresses, etc. usually to express their femininity, but it’s not inherent to being a woman. Being born a woman doesn’t automatically come with a gene that makes you interested in traditionally feminine things or ways of expression, it’s all socialization. People associate gender affirmation only with trans people, but cis men and woman do it too? Men will go to the gym to build muscle or get hair transplants to feel more masculine, and women will do things that make them feel more feminine. It’s all a performance that we put on for society. Cis women get cosmetic surgery to adhere to female beauty standards all the time (even JKR, allegedly) but suddenly it’s a problem when trans women do it?

It sucks because I do consider myself a radical feminist but TERFs make it hard to exist in that space. I think TERFs and I would agree that women getting plastic surgery is actually not an empowering or feminist choice and only further feeds an industry that profits off of making women (especially women of color) feel insecure. However, I don’t blame women for getting work done, because they’re essentially the victim in the scenario. Why would I blame someone who is groomed by a society that tells them certain parts of them are bad and need to be changed? It’s pointless and self righteous, and it only further puts the burden of being the “perfect victim” on women. I feel the same for trans women (and men). I don’t like that we live in a society that pressures people into undergoing sometimes very serious procedures to be more palatable. But that’s hardly their fault, is it? Can I really blame anyone for being worn down and making a decision to try and make their life in a toxic world easier? Specifically for trans women, it also involves their safety because they (specifically trans women of color) are the most at risk members of society, especially when it comes to violence. The more they ‘pass’, they are keeping themselves safe.

It’s just so crazy to me how TERFs can acknowledge that the patriarchy is toxic to women in ways that affect their daily lives and how they present themselves, but can’t seem to understand that it also affects other groups of people in those ways as well. Trans women aren’t our enemy, they’re just trying to survive, just like we are. How can I fault anyone for that?

Again, so sorry for the long rant but I got heated lmao

no dont apologise babe i completely agree LOL. its so sad because when i first came across radical feminism it was about their takes on sex work and the porn industry in general and i really agreed with a lot they had to say so i kept deep diving and THEN i came across the terfism. and to this day idk whether that is intrinsic to radfem ideology or if terfs are just saying it is. either way, its sad because i feel like radfems are sort of overshadowed by terfs in their spaces and get a bad rep to their name because of how many bigots use that space to promote their hateful rhetoric instead of promoting their good takes on patriarchy.

that original post about jkr got a lot of terfs/self proclaimed radfems in the shits too and i would scroll through their profiles and read what they had to say about the oppression of ciswomen and actually agree with them. and then they would turn around and argue the exact opposite about trans women which was absolutely mind-boggling to me. you tell me these people can discuss so many nuances about cis-womanhood but refuse to acknowledge similar nuances in transpeople? crazy. and very disappointing.

your point on plastic surgery and gender affirming surgery is interesting. ive never thought about it that way before or thought to compare the two. i agree with what you say about cis women getting plastic surgery btw, i also dont think it’s empowering women at all but i wont blame them. i think the difference between that and gender affirming surgery is that there are more grey areas like gender dysmorphia (although not everyone who gets this surgery has to have dysmorphia) and also what you said about safety in passing! im cis too so i dont pretend to know how gender dysmorphia feels like (i know dysmorphia is also not a trans-only thing either though). maybe the experience of that is because of socialisation and the knowledge that one’s physicality is preventing them from being socialised ‘correctly,’ and maybe that would disappear if strict ideas of gender (and what ‘man/woman’ “look” like) disappeared as well, but i don’t pretend to know lol. i dont want to make it out to be some big illusion of patriarchy or anything.

either way, you’re right. we are oppressed by patriarchy in similar ways, ways that are exacerbated for trans women (and more so for non-white trans women). even trans men are oppressed too, but im not so sure how they fit into terf rhetoric. i think they may just groups trans men in with cis women? although ive never seen a terf come on here and speak up for the oppression of trans men either so. lol.

sorry for taking so long to answer this i was pondering it for a long time 😭👍

[moonshine-nightlight]

Would you ever release signed copies of Don't Shoot the Messenger?

the short answer is: yes, i'd love to do signed copies of 'Don't Shoot the Messenger'!

the long answer is: logistics are hard lol. in order for me to hav copies to sign, i'd hav to order author copies from amazon (paying for them in advance personally), sign them, and then mail them to ppl myself. this is definitely doable, but the mechanism for selling since it wouldn't b through amazon itself and actually collecting payment/mailing info would hav to be worked out.

a vague plan that i hav in mind now would be either to just do a limited run where people can essentially pre-order paperbacks via not amazon for lik a month that they were available and then i'd know how much to get and sign etc. i dont hav a patreon so i think i would try to do it through kofi where if u pay a set amount and say its for a signed copy i would then be able to send a signed book to u, after i messaged back for your address to mail it. this would obviously only work small scale but would likely more than suffice for now.

or if i decide to add a hardcover version, i could offer signed hardcovers as a promotion for a similar limited time and via a similar process as above. i'll probably do a poll at some point to see if anyone would even want a hardcover. same for dale

when will i hav the time to look deeper into all this and put it in action? no idea. life's been extremely busy, but its definitely been on my radar and i will try to make it happen in the next coming years.

i suppose if i ever did some sort of in-person book/author event after Dale is out, i might be able to offer signed books in person, but that'd likely b hard to reach for most ppl lol

until then, only one person has a signed copy - one of my beta readers who i thanked in my acknowledgements for being so wonderfully supportive!

[cerakuro]

what did u think of the digimon tri movies if u dont mind me asking guys (゜゜;)

hmmm. i’ve been a digimon fan for as long as i can really remember, so when i first heard the movies were coming out i had been beyond hyped!!!!!! i even bought the first two movies for myself to watch and tried to force my sister to watch them as well. and i think i’ll always be able to appreciate tri for the things it brought with it as tri has some of the most beautiful promotional art i’ve seen, and I still listen to a bunch of the character songs. eternal puzzle and WHICH are STILL some of my favourite digimon songs that i’ll always hold dear. and hearing the all cast version of butterfly is able to make me cry almost every time i listen to it. but….…. i really can’t say i enjoy tri at all haha

i’m trying to say this in a really civil way lol but i can’t say i’m a fan. if you had asked me this like…. three years ago or so i would have had some choice words to say about the series for “ruining” everything but i’ve now just kind of accepted and ignore its existence because in the end, it really doesn’t matter. i can just not watch it if i don’t like it. but in general, it doesn’t make sense when you put it along with where any of the character’s development that we saw in 02, the cast has mostly regressed or have been turned into something unrecognizable. and i don’t mean that in a light way. characters like mimi or sora were especially done bad. i will always hold a grudge against it for that

digimon adventure as a series was built off of the fact that the characters themselves were so strongly written and the series was able to very competently convey multiple darker and complex topics. despite that incredibly foundation, tri misunderstood the adventure series at its very core in almost every aspect. lore wise, it doesn’t make sense. character wise, even less so. whenever i tell people to watch the digimon adventure series i almost always tell them to skip over tri because of how much it confuses things up and to avoid people’s perceptions of characters getting muddied by tri

i’ve spent a long time being upset about it, but like!!!! it is what it is. reading the production notes of tri, it’s been easier to understand how things got as messed up as they are. they really wanted to make a good series but revision after revision messed things up. so i’ve learnt to be more forgiving with the series, but in my eyes it kind of exists as a separate thing altogether

a lot of other people have been able to explain the issues with tri way better than i ever could. i can recommend @/shihalyfie in particular for incredibly in depth analysis and summaries on the issues with the series that i think about a lot. including being able to see more on the behind the scenes stuff that u don’t normally get. check them out if you’re curious!

but yeah <:) all that is to say…. i can’t say tri is my favourite series

[stargirlie25]

Ok scrolling through acotar tiktok KILLS ME. Its not the og tiktok with cool edits of ships that you prefer its just pure toxic hate.

Like me, you might have noticed there are few and few Gwynriel/elucien content then Elriel content. I don´t believe it is because they dont ship these ships anymore i think its because they are tired.

When i was neutral (about a year ago) on the ships wars, i would CONSTANTLY see Elriels being so confident about their ship and how acosf pointed to an elriel endgame. I had not read acosf by then and when i did+ the bc i didn´t hate elriel i just started to love Gwynriel.

Sometimes sarah likes to put positive factors on a ship, like something beautiful without there having to be a whole theory. Because sarah does not expect her readers to be theorists. She wants them to laugh,cry,giggle,scream. etc. So when she was writing the BC which according to elriels are not important she probably wanted us to look at Gwyn and Azriel and consider her obvious wording and differences between elriel and gwynriel. According to elriels the BC isnt important and does nothing to contribute into plots,but also it introduces Gwyns lightsinger powers? Whatever that is not even my point right now. My point is, at first glance at the BC everybody should be more positive towards Gwynriel. SJM put out a free bonus chapter. Why should something heavy like a characters powers be in there? Its supposed to be a light hearted thing. Im just tired of Elriels saying we are delusional or our ship is a crackship.

I never hated Elriel before. All the anti elriel stuff i have mentioned is everything i was already aware of before ´´hating´´ elain and az together. I was still neutral even with all those negavtives.

Its the fandom that made me turn around and choose Gwynriel. I noticed Gwynriel and Elucien content was much more surrounding pro content for their ship and cute headcanons,cannons,edits,fanarts etc. It rarely EVER mentioned anti Elriel information. Except the elriel content then and now, all revolves around Gwynriel and Elucien. Instead of promoting their ship, they have to tear down our ships and say we are crazy.

It was like: Elriel vs Gwynriel and it said that gwynriel was fanon and elriel was canon. Thats´ just false but i understand i cant change that which i dont mind but why scream about it to my face? I saw people bullying Gwyn and saying she was faking her trauma,lured in hyberns men or was evil for the sake to uplift elriel/elain. I saw people bully emerie too calling her a crippled fake illyrian and how it was stupid for emerie to win the blood rite against her cousin. Or how somehow emerie was a b*tch and does not deserve to be a valkyrie+ nesta and gwyn. I saw people make edits to uplift Elain and hate Gwyn. I witnessed people dismissing Luciens trauma and comparing him to his father. I saw people say he faked the bond to protect tamlin or what not. I saw people make up theories for Clotho saying she was odd because she said she was going to give Gwyn the necklace but probably didnt....

That was my last straw. So yes naturally i did in fact shift to the Gwynriel/elucien side. It was easier. Instead of the bullies i saw cute videos of ´´Azriel and Gwyn singing´´ or ´´Elain and lucien picking flowers´´ it was all just so lighthearted and beautiful.

Although i think the fandom for G/A and E/L decreased because they are tired. Because i was tired too. I did not even want to enter acotar tiktok because i knew we would all be bashed for it. Dont get me wrong i find myself sometimes leaving comments on Elriel videos. Not the ones with a cute edit or fanart the ones the share false information or something i disagree with. I only hope for a civil talk and next thing i know, there is a whole gang of elriels trying to push their narrative on me without listening.

Honestly the ship wars have always existed but before Elucien was the calmer side. Although sadly they got roped into the mess of the G/A vs, A/E wars. WIthout a doubt on every single Elucien video, elriels never miss a step. It would be a cute video like a fanart of them and they will start being like ´´ElAinS So UNComFOrtabLE aROUnd hiM´ like you guys ask us why we ship elucien when mentioning this but its like you dont even want an answer you just want to disagree. We tell you and you flat out ignore it.

As much as i love Gwynriel/Elucien i cant help but miss the days were reading ACOTAR was for all the characters. When it was just to see my favorites like Nesta. When i just desperately wanted to get to the iconic epic scenes.

I know if e/riel was confirmed, Elriels would firstly shove it in Eluciens and gwynriels faces and then maybe celebrate the characters.

I know Gwynriels/eluciens would too and i honestly want to see none of that. Yes i do believe we are getting Gwynriel/Elucien but i would not want to make people feel bad for their ship. They by all means can still love elriel. So many people like feylin,nesris,Aelin x chaol,aelin x dorain, and obviously aelin x sam (my endgame if rowan never existed) dramoine,klaroline,stelena,stiles x malia, Jelly,Bellarke,clexa,Rory x those 4 other guys etc etc.

Main point, Can we all just do better? Yes i am talking about elriels for my sake and lots of others peoples sakes but to everyone PLEASE.

I know that wont work though even if i say it because im only one human hahah

What im going to say is we should tag all our posts to our preferred ship and probably always put anti to the ship we dont like. That way everything is divided and less toxic. Also i will be tagging nothing to do with ship wars because i want everyone to see haha but please be nice!

This is just my experience btw im sure Elriels have has their fair treatment of toxic Gwynriels/Eluciens

[pokegyns]

the deranged lgbt spaces post is so true. I used to be supportive of lgbt spaces and rights when it was easy to understand for cishet people. lgbt involved sexuality at most back then and the idea was simple, it's okay to have sexual attraction of any kind, hetero or homo. But now I don't see the sexuality spaces much, it's cluttered with gender stuff and trans stuff. The number of terms and definitions have increased so much even tho I have been in these spaces for a while now, I don't know what half the terms means. What's the difference between transmasc and transman? transwoman and transfem? Why does every experience need to have a term, why can't an experience just remain that. When you define an experience, you give it a box in only which it can exist. And that's sad, experiences can be varied and undefined - relatable or unrelatable. Idk where I'm going with this lol but guess I have a lot in my mind :-| correct me if I went wrong

personally i feel like the real way it goes wrong isnt having terminology to describe experiences; its the way its handled.

when i was trying to desist and just see myself as a dysphoric woman and not express myself as some shade of nb and let myself feel comforted by various terms and pride stuff i really did just feel like i was inhibiting myself and basically trying to train myself out of seeing my sex incongruency as as fundamental to me as it really is. And for me personally, having ways to communicate my experiences without a whole mouthful, a "sort" of person that it makes me, is really helpful. honestly even just for the fact im a very "i like sorting things into boxes that make sense to me" autistic.

and like, honestly. identities and forms of self expression that could be considered sorts of "gender identities" has always been part of lesbian communities, and even just, other sorts of identity labelling too.

the problem arises when; 1, everyone is supposed to know what these things mean lest youre hatecriming them 2, people try to project these experiences onto others, insisting it MUST be something every person on the planet has an equivalent of "just like sexuality" when it really *is not* 3, it turns a corner into being dissociated from reality and claiming that entirely unrelated concepts have to do with """gender""" and thus obscuring the experiences of sex dysphorics while also promoting a sense of disreality in the community. this then circles back to problem 1, or ig a modification of it where "that doesnt make any sense" is similarly a hatecrime and, the original spirit of such means of expression honestly was not like this at *all*. these terms were meant as a way to chill the fuck out lol. like. actual self expression, not the existential crises i see people have over these things

also im not sure if youre actually asking about transmasc vs transman etc, but generally transmasc is an umbrella for females who either have gender identities or are transitioning and is less specific than "transman" in order to cover the "grey area" as well as the experiences both collectively have. like; i personally feel "transman" insinuates expecting to be exclusively referred to as male pronouns, etc etc etc. but there is, and always has been, a grey area between living as "fully" trans, and not having any sort of gender fuckery experiences at all.

like i definitely beyond see all the problems with how people of these sorts of experiences have ABSOLUTELY been derailed by the mainstream and emphasizing concepts in the worst possible ways, and i can totally appreciate what ur saying, but i dont necessarily thing putting words to our experiences is inherently the problem as opposed to the compulsory, over-self-analytical and dissociative nature of it all -mod glaceon

[djhamaradio]

I do not have a brand because I am not a corporation.

I lost my job recently and had to log back into my LinkedIn account. The whole thing felt forced and weird because I never use the app and I never post anything and suddenly I posted an alert showing I was open for work. The whole process felt weird because everyone in my network seemed to be confused because everyone on there is an ace at networking and using their personal brands to show people what they have going on in their work lives and I felt like a faker. Same way I feel when I am told I am not effectively branding my radio show and my escapades in the record digging world to become a vinyl influencer (not sure if that exists). The whole thing has me depressed because I get the feeling my inactivity is not helping with my job prospects. And no matter what advice I read on Forbes or whatever blog about personal marketing I’m never going to be good at it. I lack the brand consistency or whatever it’s called because ultimately I am not that committed to this world of personal branding. The article above from the wonderful folks at Vox reminds me that this is one of the legacies of late market capitalism everyone is merely a sellout but we don’t have interests or passions anymore everything we do or say has to be leveraged for likes and followers. The thing I find most intriguing about this world is the pervasisveness of hucksterism, and just pure fakery. I find people employing awful vague corporte phrases like maximizing productivity to describe their day to day lives.I find people posting shit about how one can leverage their brand to build a following that will lead them to make a living off social media. it is all disgusting but more than anything speaks to just how much consumerism, and capitlism in general has infected every sacred facet of human life. We have all become brands, and as brands your ultimate goal is to sell, sell and sell. Sell agressively, sell even if it means lying and sell with your consumer in mind. I look at myself I truly joined social media to connect with friends, at some point I left Facebook because my conservative family had joined and thewas now on they had an issue with my Halloween costume (Me dressed as a member of De La Soul and my girlfriend at the time in. slutty Nun costume), so I deleted the account and stuck with IG. On IG aI liked sharing music banter, odd ball humour and rap references with my small cast of friends who get it, and I use it to let people know when my radio show is on. My show is decently popular and I dont make a living doing it, I do DJ gigs on the side and I make decent guap doing it but would absolutely never do that for a living. The DJ gig funds the record collecting, and the radio show is a creative outlet that is all it is. I dont give a shit about branding, even though in a sense I am acting like a brand but I am not selling you anything. I put myself out there simply to say hey check out what I am doing and let me know if you fuck with it other than that no biggie. I aint out here saying if you listen to my radioshow your dick will grow bigger, all the chicks will like you and I am offering somekind of solution to one of lifes ills. My purpose is simply to say hey dont know what you doing but tune into my non-commercial uninterrupted absolutley amteurish radio show where you get to hear me play funk, soul, jazz and african music, for its on sake and not to sell but plugs or lawn mowers. The branding shit is particularly insidious because it makes us forget that there was a time when people congregated because they shared deep interests outside of the capitalist objective, think about stamp collectors, book clubs, bowling leagues and in my case a group of guys who drive around the midwest frequenting record stores spending huge amounts of hours scouring dollar record bins for prized records (This is also a dying art but I digress). I think at the heart of it social media has democratized aspects of the creative world. I just want to live in a world where I am not a brand.

[lqfiles]

ANON WHO BROUGHT UP LUCAS THANK U I WAS ITCHING TO TALK AB HIM BUT I WAS SOOO SCARED BC i didn’t know if it was a safe space free of lumis or not…

my ig feels kinda curated to show me content of him there’s so much of his stans there compared to tiktok and the specific posts im getting is like “dreamies winning for smoothie!! …lucas in the back🥺💔” OR “dejun introducing lucas for his stage🥺🥺” SHUUTTT UPPPPP

it’s especially aggravating when there are situations in the industry that were far less impactful than his allegations the ones i’m thinking of specifically is soojin ex gidle as well as chuu have not promoted on music shows BUT WITHIN LIKE TWO MONTHS OF HIM COMING BACK HE GETS TO HAVE HIS SOLO DEBUT AND PERFORM??? and don’t even get me started on seunghan. what the fuck do you mean ot6 siren gtfo

i gave up on editing and was making shitposts on my tiktok praying for the downfall of sm ent because it seems they have a 7 member group curse DIEEE!!! (respectfully..! i lov u lee donghyuck i hope u can be free from the sm shackles in due time)

HSDJDKSKS don’t worry this is never a safe space for him and his fan i rlly do not like that guy and you’ll never catch me praising him.. anyways i got some stuff to say too but it will probably be the only time i’ll speak on it here because i don’t like giving that man attention 😶‍🌫️

bro i’m not surprised that you’re getting that stuff because when i tell you 99% of nctzens on insta are all lucas fans it actually shocked me 😭😭 i remember once commenting smth like “we don’t want him back” and i got sent death threats like OVER DOZEN???? MR CANT FIND THE BEAT?? 😭😭😭 tiktok is really 50/50 with a side that’s here for him and another side that doesn’t like him. the only platform i know where it’s mostly people disliking him is twitter but even then he got a pretty large following on there that is LOUD and ANNOYING

and you’re so right about that ITS SO CRAZY TO ME how SM just wouldn’t let go off him like they were so adamant on keeping him in the company for some reason and have been soft launching him for a good year trying to get the public to ease a bit, (the amount of concerts he’s attended to make his presence known.. you’re not slick SM) and i just don’t get what value he has to that company. he doesn’t bring the talent like he literally invented the term dozen because he dozen do anything right, he doesn’t bring the visuals, you can argue that he brings fans because he got a very huge SEA and latin (?) fan population that is veryyyy loud but even then the number of haters is much bigger, china literally hates him and korea barely tolerates him.

they didn’t hesitate to put seunghan on hiatus and are literally erasing him from the group in real time with the ot6 siren ver it’s crazyyy, all because he got his privacy invaded and did acceptable teen things? they kicked that SNSD member out for starting her own clothing brand and i’m sure they blacklisted her too, jaejoong got blacklisted too, soojin and chuu got kicked out, but the guy who has literal criminal allegations (that he basically admitted to himself) gets a whole pity sob documentary as well as rebranding as a soloist? chris lee is the biggest dick rider ever for this and it will never make sense to me😭

i honestly don’t like talking about him or mentioning him because 1. any type of publicity can be good publicity to him 2. arguing with his fans is useless and tiring because they will NOT change their mind 3. his face and existence annoys me so yeah i don’t like mentioning him because what’s the point hate-watching his content like that’s still publicity for him

but yeah if i find out any of his fans follow me i’ll literally block, even if you dont follow me and i find you’re his fan i block 💀 NOT A SAFE SPACE FOR LUMIS PLEASE LEAVE BEFORE I HAVE TO BLOCK U MYSELF 😭🙏🏽