#donna is my absolute hero the way she talks to him

[thatbanditqueen]

@missnormajeanes @richardslady121 @freudianslumber @be-my-ally @fangirlaround @steph-speaks @mooodyblue​ @ellie-24​ @vintageshanny​ @elvisabutler​ @dkfixates​ just being the stage mom you never wanted I guess, but that I was born to play!

Something Else Part 2

Summary: In February 1975, two bored and lonely people found each other wandering the halls of a hospital in the early hours of the morning. AN: As always, a big thank you to my alpha reader and stage mom @thatbanditqueen and the lovely people who messaged and asked for another chapter. It's nice to have a break from angst sometimes!

Part 1 The clock in the dayroom seemed louder at night, ticking away the seconds, reminding everyone of how long it took to heal, if ever. Donna sighed and muttered to herself as she flipped over the playing card. At the rate that she was going, this game of Solitaire was going to last longer than her broken arm.

Over in the corner, the woman who seemed to keep coming to the social room to be alone tutted and folded her arms a little tighter as she sat ramrod straight in a high-backed chair. It was a game of annoyed chicken and Donna wasn’t about to back down now. Except, apparently they were both about to be outplayed.

“What was wrong with the damn car?”

Donna glanced up as Elvis strode into the room, leading with his chest and shoulders like he expected resistance. She looked over at ‘Alone woman’ as if she thought he might be talking to her. He glanced over at the woman too, but then shook his head and fixed his fierce eyes back on her.

“Hi,” she said, shuffling the cards in her hand.

“Hi yourself,” he returned impatiently. “What was wrong with it?”

She scanned him, noting that he had a new robe on today, dark blue and it matched his pyjamas. There was a ketchup stain on the cuff of hers; she tucked it in to hide it, though it was difficult to know how much he could see when he was still wearing sunglasses in a room that only had one lamp lit.

“I don’t think there was anything wrong with it,” she answered, sliding the two of hearts into its rightful place. “I’m probably not the best person to ask though, since I didn’t get close enough to look at it properly.”

“D-don’t be a damn smart aleck,” he spluttered. “I bought you a gift and you- you just threw it back in my face!”

Donna sighed and put down the cards.

“It looked like a very nice car,” she said. “Very… shiny and red and… it had wheels and everything. I don’t know too much about cars.”

“It was voted one of the safest American cars of the decade,” he told her. “I read up on it. The Impala is more likely to hold up in a head on collision than other automobiles of a similar size an-“

“Okay, thank you, thanks!” she interjected, putting up her hand. Her sleeve had fallen down and she could clearly see the ketchup stain. “It was a real nice gesture, and the fact that you did your research is- It’s very sweet…” He visibly relaxed, his chest and shoulders dropping as he decided that they were not in a fight. “The fact is I don’t need a car, because… Because I’m never getting into a car again.”

She fanned out the cards with her fingers, giving up on playing the game the fair way. She could feel the weight of his eyes on her as he digested what she’d said. After a few seconds, he stepped closer, slippers clopping on the lino. He put his hand on the table next to hers, fingers drumming a rhythm that seemed familiar to her.

“What about if you need to go someplace?” he asked quietly, sounding confused.

“I’ll walk,” she shrugged. “Or I’ll stay home.”

“You��re gonna walk? When it’s 93 degrees outside, or- or what about when it rains?”

“I’ll be fine. I don’t dissolve in water.” 

She heard him sigh loudly through his nose and then his hand moved from the tabletop to her shoulder, his long fingers slipping beneath the collar of her robe, rubbing circles into the nape of her neck. It felt shockingly intimate but reassuring at the same time.

“It must’ve been awfully bad, honey,” he murmured.  

“It was not fun,” she answered, her jaw tight to hold back the waves that pressed up against the back of her eyes. She shook her head and jumped to her feet, trying to outrun her pain. “Um, is that guy okay?”

“What guy?”

“The one I talked to. He told me you were asleep when I tried to return the key.” She watched him dip his head as he smiled, the curves of his cheekbones in full effect, and then looked up at her from beneath his brows.

“Well, he was a little turned up when he came to tell me that some chick yelled at him and threw a car key at his head.”

“No, that weren’t me, that was someone else,” she replied dryly. “One of the other girls you bought a car for, maybe? Look, in my defence, I thought he’d catch it. What kind of bodyguard did you hire with such bad hand-eye coordination?!” He laughed, leaning backwards with the force of it, his hand on his chest.

“He ain’t my bodyguard, honey, he’s my cousin,” he told her, eyes sparkling behind his tinted lenses.

“Oh, that makes me feel worse,” she muttered. “He didn’t even get paid to put up with that.”

“Naw, he gets paid alright. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’d offer him one of the delicious doughnuts you sent, but the nurses ate them all. Okay, I gave one to one of the nurses.”

“It’s all right,” he said, quietly and firmly. She exhaled shakily and nodded.

“You know, I went to your room,” he said, glancing back at the Alone Woman, who had sighed sharply and loudly again. “I saw that poor lady they got strapped to the bed.”

“Yeah, Mrs Morris. She’s broken her hip, but you wouldn’t know it the way she can scramble out of bed at four in the morning and scare the living daylights out of you. Plus, she thinks it’s 1914, so everything freaks her out.”

“Damn,” he muttered. Her face softened looking at his troubled expression, like he was wondering what he could buy or who he could pay to fix an ailing mind. It was her turn to reach out, stroking his arm a little. She felt stupid doing it, but then he smiled slightly and took her hand between both of his and her skin started to burn.

“Come up to my room,” he cajoled, biting his luscious bottom lip as he fixed her with a winning smile. “I’ll be a perfect gentleman, I promise. We’ll just talk and maybe I’ll send someone out for more of those doughnuts you like so much?”

“Bribery, huh,” she mused. “That’s pretty underhanded of you.”

“What can I say,” he shrugged. “I know how to make sure I get what I want.”

“Am I the first one won over by doughnuts?”

“A gentleman never kisses and tells, honey.” He took a step backward, tugging at her hand, his eyebrows raised in a plea. How could she resist? The alternative was Mrs Morris singing old timey vaudeville songs until the early hours. She sighed and nodded, letting him pull her to his side. He tucked her hand in the crook of his arm like they were Victorian beaux out on a romantic stroll through the park.

“I’m not going to have sex with you on a hospital bed,” she informed him as they walked towards the elevators. His face spasmed with a shocked expression that a maiden aunt would be proud of, though she thought maybe he was playing around. The pink blush on his high cheekbones was a little bit harder to fake, however.

“You just say whatever is on your mind, don’t ya,” he murmured, not looking at her.

“Only to famous singers who try to give me cars and invite me to their hospital rooms,” she replied. “It’s important to keep them on their toes.” He shrugged at that.

“Okay, we don’t have to do it on the bed,” he replied, shooting her a sneaky sideways look and quirking his eyebrow. She laughed out loud for the first time in a good, long while, and felt her own cheeks tingle with warmth.

Donna had never had a problem with small spaces, but the elevator felt particularly confining that night as Elvis leaned back against the wall and looked her up and down. She shuffled her feet and put her arms in front of herself, shooting him a disgruntled look.

“Don’t do that,” she mumbled, looking away to hide her smirk.

“I ain’t doing nothing but looking!” he protested. “Damn, man can’t breathe without you cutting him down!”

“You know what you were doing,” she returned, mimicking his pose and lifting an eyebrow as she let her eyes trail up from his slippers- he had lovely dainty ankles- all the way up his legs, groin, stomach, chest, to his face, which had got a little pink again. She waited for his next volley with a frisson of anticipation.

“You got a boyfriend or a husband or anything, honey?” She blinked.

“Why?”

“Well, if you did, I wanted to meet him and shake his hand. Fella’s gotta have balls of steel.”

“Funny. No, no fella. Metal balls or not.”

“You want one?” he asked playfully, raising that damn eyebrow again. She snorted, blushing as she stared at the floor, trying to stabilise herself.

“Had to get you back,” he murmured, crossing the elevator and standing next to her. He put his hand on the rail that ran behind them; she could feel the pressure of his arm against her waist, pushing into her spine.

When the doors opened, his arm was fully around her waist and though she wanted to tease him about the move, straight out of a teen boy’s playbook, she also walked slower than normal to ensure she didn’t dislodge it.

The corridor was busier than any of the others Donna had wandered during her nightly excursions through the hospital. A man in a white sports jacket glanced over his shoulder and saw them, and Donna distinctly heard someone mutter, “He’s back, he’s here.” The man shuffled through a doorway, still looking over his shoulder. Walking past it, Donna spotted at least half a dozen men sitting around, smoking, playing cards and looking tense and bored.

Elvis guided her to a door on the opposite side of the corridor, holding it open and smirking as she walked through, eyeing him cautiously. He swiped at her butt just as she thought she had made it past without incident.

“You said you have no one to talk to,” she said, nodding through the open door to the lounge adjacent. “Looks like you have a whole closet full of people over there.”

 “No, they just work for me,” he said, pushing the door closed behind himself.

“Doing what?”

“Whatever I need ‘em to do,” he shrugged. “Fetch doughnuts, deliver cars, track down funny lil girls with broken arms.”

“Catch car keys with their faces? I should really apologise for that.”

“He’s had worse, don’t worry about it. You gonna sit down, honey? You look like you’re halfway out the door.”

She frowned at the impatience in his tone and moved away from the chair he was gesturing to, going to lean against the windowsill. His look of annoyance was so intense that she could almost feel the heat of it across the room.

“You know, rich folk’s hospital rooms don’t look so different,” she remarked.

“Yeah, well, it’s still a hospital,” he shrugged. “Can’t do nothing about that.” She nodded, tilting her head to look at the titles of the books piled on his nightstand, and on the floor next to the bed, and in the locker at the end of the bed.

“Wow, you do read a lot,” she remarked. She leant down and twisted to squint at a strange front cover that seemed to have numbers and strange symbols on it, watching his legs approach in her periphery vision.

“Yeah, I read, breathe, eat, and talk, just like a real boy,” he returned, nudging her as he joined her in leaning against the windowsill. When she straightened up, the blood rushed from her head and she almost lost her balance, reaching out to grab his arm to keep herself balanced.

“Goddamn it, woman, will you just sit down?!” He wrapped his arms around her, holding her closely against him, and walked her backwards to the bed. It felt as though she was completely surrounded by him, his stomach and chest pressed tightly against her and his arms pinning hers to her sides. He smelled like fresh laundry, a spicy cologne and a hint of musk. His robe felt so soft and fluffy it must have been brand new.

When she made contact with the side of the bed, he grabbed her by the waist and lifted her onto it, taking advantage of her distraction in the chaos to step between her legs.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” she said, putting up her hands to make him pause as he leant down. “What did we say about the bed?”

“No sex,” he mumbled, his full lips close enough that she felt his breath fluctuate as they moved. “But you didn’t say nothing about a little kissing.” He glanced down at her hands, which now seemed to be groping his chest instead of blocking him. She hastily dropped them.

“Fine,” she sighed, shooting him a wicked little smile. “Just a little.”

Donna sensed him hesitate as he closed that last inch between them. She understood it, that split second between anticipation and reality always felt like a chasm, but she only had about seven seconds of thinking to herself, ‘Wow, I’m kissing Elvis Presley’, because it turned out that Elvis Presley was a very good kisser. His hands slid into her hair as his pillowy lips massaged hers and she was opening her mouth to him long before she felt his tongue. In fact, she was so into it that she forgot what she was doing and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, knocking her cast hard against the back of his head.

“Ow!” they both yelped at the same time.

“I didn’t do nothing!” he protested, rubbing his head. She winced, clutching her forearm to her chest.

“Sorry, that wasn’t on purpose. Might need to rework my signature moves.” She waved her cast.

He snorted, snatching off his sunglasses and tossing them onto the nightstand amidst the books while still rubbing the back of his head.

“Signature moves,” he muttered to himself, laughing a little. “I wanna see one of those so-called signature moves, honey. C’mon, lay it on me.” He moved back in front of her, throwing his arms open as an invitation.

“What? No!” she wailed, feeling her cheeks throbbing. “I can’t do them now! They’re like magic, only works when someone is not looking for it.”

“Eh,” he shrugged. “I reckon I seen ‘em anyhow. I’m getting to think that this whole funny, crazy chick thing is just an act to get up here in my bed.”

“Uh huh, completely,” she replied dryly. “And what about you? I’ve seen your moves too, with your eyes and your smile and your lips and the whole-“ She waved her hands in his direction. “The whole package there.”

“My package?!” he echoed in a high voice, raising his eyebrows. He hiccupped his little laugh as she closed her eyes in preparation for the blood rushing to her cheeks making her head explode.

“You know what I meant!” She felt him lean into her, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

“I’m only foolin’ around, honey. God, you’re cute when you get all red like that. It’s fixing to be my favourite colour too.”

She nuzzled into him, making the most of having her face shielded from his knowing, smirking face. Slowly, tentatively, she reached up, letting her fingers rest on the v of skin between his throat and the top button of his pyjamas. His skin was hot and his pulse pounded beneath. Running her fingertips over the coarse hair, she dragged them up his neck, feeling the prickles of new stubble around his jaw. When she reached the nape of his neck, carding her fingers through the thick, fine hair, she tugged a little, and he moved without resistance, his lips finding hers again.

After a few minutes of tussling, heavy breathing and delicious kissing, she forced herself to pull back breathlessly. 

“And that,” she gasped with a grin, “is one of my signature moves, thank you very much.” 

“I knew it!” he cried. His laughter was loud, immediate and completely irrepressible. She held onto him as he threw himself back, wanting to mainline that sound for the rest of her days.

[silver99johnlocked]

FIRST TIME WATCHING THE SPN FINALE [Spoilers ahead]

I just finished watching Supernatural in September of 2024. I'm overwhelmed and needing to rant about it so here are my thoughts on the last 3 episodes of season 15:

First things first: There was one thing on my mind the entire time during the last 2 episodes. "Dead men wear no plaid". Dean didn't wear plaid for the last 2 episodes. Not a single scene. While sam wore plaid the whole time. Then when Dean made it to Heaven he was wearing plaid again

2- what the hell happened to everyone they knew? They all stayed dead? They mentioned Donna so I'm guessing she's alive. But what about Jody and the girls? What about Eileen? Why is Sam's wife a faceless woman?

3- when jack became god and bailed on them, why didn't they ask him to bring Cas back? They had asked chuck to bring Cas back. So why not ask Jack? It doesn't make sense. God was powerful enough to bring people back from the empty. He brought lucifer back. So jack with his powers is supposedly able to do the same. Right??

4- Bobby said that Cas helped Jack fix heaven. That means Jack did pull Cas out of the empty. So I'm guessing he's in heaven with Jack and Dean is able to meet with him whenever he likes. Right?

5- it certainly didn't escape my notice that Baby's plates were different in heaven and on earth. When Dean died, the plate was that "new" one, c something I guess. In heaven the plate went back to being KAZ. 😏

6- I knew Dean was going to die and I even knew the how. Had that spoiler beforehand. I gotta say, the way people talk about it...I was expecting something much more WTF. But to be completely frank, I actually kinda liked the way it went? I mean. It's like he said, that's the life he knew and wanted. He tried the white fence life and he was miserable. Plus, he would only do something like that again if he was with Cas.

He wanted to retire remember? After all the world ending issues went away. He wanted to be on a beach with sam and Cas, relax and just enjoy life a little, be happy. Well, Cas died so he didn't get his dream end. Which means he sorted out for doing what he knows: hunting, with Sam. But chuck is no longer there, they have free will, they don't have plot armor. They're just hunters, not the heroes of some epic story. Which means they die, they go on hunts and they risk their lives every day. In the end he died the way he always knew he was going to. And he didn't have anything holding him back you know? The only lose end was Sam, so that's why he pleaded Sam to tell him it was okay, that Sam was gonna be okay without him. He was so relieved, man. And I'm not gonna pretend like he isn't suicidal because he is. He's been so since early seasons. And sure it was very sad to watch him give up easily, not wanting Sam to call for help and stuff. But I get it. Plus, I do believe he was eager to see Cas again. And his smile when Bobby mentioned Cas. God

7- About the confession scene. I was absolutely hooked. The scene was just spot on. Dean's reactions were perfect. Honest to god I loved it. I could feel so clearly that Dean was having a hard time processing everything but damn I could also feel the love in him. He wasn't disgusted by the confession or anything remotely like that. He was so into the moment, so soft, he was crying. Fuck. And Cas. Oh Cas. He was so sweet. He knew how to get to Dean, he knew just what to say and how to say it. His voice was so soft and his eyes oh my god so adoring. I'm so not over it

8- a friend of mine mentioned that what they hated the most was that the last mention of cas when dean was alive is lucifer pretending to be him and using his voice. I agree that it doesn't do him justice. But fuck, the way Dean ran to the door. DESTIEL IS SO CANON. I know people wanted something explicit and yes I agree that not having some grand romantic finale like they would have had if it was a straight couple is very homophobic but damn.

I saw it, it was so clear to me and for real I'm elated about that. There was no foreshadowing, not trying to undo the gayness. They didn't make Dean run to the hills with some chick or do something heteronormative. It was there, the door was left wide open for anyone who has 2 neurons to see it. Cas confessed his romantic love to Dean. Dean was moved to tears by it. He was devastated when Cas was gone. The very thing he asked chuck for was to bring Cas back. If Dean had been the tiniest bit uncomfortable with the confession he wouldn't have wanted to meet Cas face to face again. He's the king of being awkward about feelings, the king of denial. He was so not in denial. He knew it wasn't gonna be awkward because he returned the feelings. I mean, being very very honest, if he were to friend zone Cas, I don't think he would have the guts to bring him back

[reijixia13]

The Flower of Buffoonery

Made by reiji13

-༻✦༺-༻✧༺-༻✦༺- -in which a girl with incredible power, ambitious brother and a goal for a peaceful death without suffering joins a heroic class with trouble magnets on their toes. -༻✦༺-༻✧༺-༻✦༺- "Oh wonderful belladona! Join me!" "The fuck?" "Fuck is a Vulgar word, but enough for a peaceful death!" -༻✦༺-༻✧༺-༻✦༺- such a scenery to see, a suicidal sister of a suicidal maniac and a detective mind with full of soon to be heroes. BNHA×BSD!reader

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P r o l o g u e

Mission

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A boy with silver hair had been kneeling down near a river, a grumble as he felt hungry.

Atsushi didn't want this.

He doesn't even have a clue why he was suddenly kicked out of his home, an orphanage he grew into. He wasn't ready for this, he wasn't ready to die.

From person to person that passed by he wanted to go after to ask for help, he didn't have the guts, so witnessing a person who was floating upside down was really concerining for him.  With 50/50 choice, he dive in and save this mysterious person.

"Damn"

?!

"I saved you and all you say is 'Damn'?!"

After a talk with crazy guy Atsushi, he introduced himselt as Dazai Osamu, he happens to feel hungry and offer the boy a meal with him using someone 'Kunikida-kun' person's money, Atsushi didn't really care aslong as he can eat to his content.

"Oi! Dazai!"

Off to the other side stood a blonde guy, beside him was another female waving excitedly at them.

"Onii-San!! Did you die yet?"

Judging by the way she called Dazai, and how they similarly look alike, they're sibling. And even with how they interact, just how crazy are these two?!

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Such thoughts.

I guess that's just how things are.

With (Y/N) things can be weird, but it's even weirder if she's with her brother. But sometimes, behind those dark shade of brown eyes, those pair are hiding something darker, maybe a past, something that should've been forgotten, something that should stay hidden.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"Oh wonderful belladona! Join me!"

"The fuck?"

"Fuck is a Vulgar word, but enough for a peaceful death!"

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"A mission?" A questionable mark as the female tilts her head, her hair falling to the side slightly as she looks at her boss.

"Yes, I think you're better fit for these, cases in Musutafu having some kind of conflicts with some underground organization. I need you to find out what's the cause of these." The older male nodded along as he explained the situation, he had handed her a folder having the files needed inside for the case.

"Yare, yare~! Maybe dying in Musutafu could be a thought!" The girl devilishly thought, thinking of many ways to die without suffering the consequences.

"You are not gonna die there, you still need to return-" The older male was cut off, by yet another male exactly how the female looks.

"Dear sister of mine, my donna to my bella don't die without me..!" The male said so, even if it doesn't make sense at all, do they even have to if they have the same braincells? Absolutely not.

Oh my 👹 why are these two such a pain?

Could be the thought of the boss, but really it's just Kunikida and Atsushi's thoughts.

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Talking about dying peacefully, a thought can be deceived, but hanging upside down with a cloth wrapped around you is absolutely annoying to do so.

"You're too young, and how could we trust you?"

I mean look at Ranpo is also young but his already smart, and everyone trust him (Not really -Police in Yokohama)

"We'll you can believe or not, but can you please struggle me with these beautiful clothes?"

"..."

"..?!"

"No-"

"🥺🙏"

"Child-"

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Yeah things are hectic.

But it's more hectic with having to stay at a school with a suicidal maniac, with boys having head over heels like boys with a 'step on me please' sign.

But such adventure, worth exploring.

Maybe finding out more of the Hero and Villain things more so finding more about this girl's purpose in life.

Such belladona, with a Beauty enchanting like the berry, but deadly as it is called, a plan torn.

Just as they said, A flower of Buffoonery, can make you laugh, but maybe these laugh are the one's that makes this flower amusing, maybe she was ment to be silly person in their serious life. That's what makes the girl intriguing, a magnet of trouble but someone who can solve a murder case in minutes.

Nothing can hurt when you're a little amusing.

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

"If only you could understand the sadness of the ones who grow the delicate flowers of buffoonery, protecting them from but the slightest gust of wind and always on the verge of despair!"

"Something beautiful happens when a human being surrenders."

-Dazai Osamu ; The Flower of Buffoonery

≿━━━━༺❀༻━━━━≾

Welcome to an enchanting but poisonous love of a Flower, a Flower of Buffoonery, amusing as it sounds, the adventure can take to path. A love, an angst and the blooming anticipation of characters intrigued by an ability user, a detective with high intelligence but have the goal of dying peacefully with where can get a partner to double-sucide with her.

A master's piece, had run away from perfection to take an imperfect life.

A mere, Buffoonery.

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"Things really are amusing.., aren't they so?"

—༻✦༺—༻✧༺—༻

[bi-bi-birdy03]

Here's your warning now. Some of you might not like me for this, but I also don't care. Here are my opinions

Dick is so overrated and so over sexualized that it's disgusting. He's not a good older brother at all, and it's weird that people are always like dami sees him as a dad like ew. Also, the whole thing about Bruce being lost in time, like people always say that dick was hurting and stressed as excuses for the way he treated Tim, and like yeah, so was Tim. Some of the excuses are dick just lost his father, so did Tim and kon and Bart and Jack and steph, and Donna. Oh, but dick was in charge of a whole city, and it was stressing him out, he took care of bloodhaven by himself, and it's almost worse than Gotham. Like their grief and stress and trauma were not the same. Tim was going through it, and dick made it worse, and I sometimes hope Tim never forgives him for it. Like he's a bad brother a lot of the time he acts like he can only have one brother at a time. Plus he never threatened arkum like where the fuck did that come from.

Jason's not a good character and a whiney bitch who's whole personality is just I got killed and now i'm mad. others got killed, some just as bad as him, but they don't make it their whole personality like him. And the bullshit about him being all no more dead robins when he tried to kill 2 of them like the logic isn't there. Also the whole Jason is a hero for the people like no he's not when he came back he didn't give a shit about any one he was just throwing a hissy fit because he was mad, he did not give a shit about the people. You're thinking of Duke Thomas and Helena Bertinelli like you dont have to give him other characters' personality and character traits to make him more interesting. And the stupid ass headcanon about him being Hispanic is the most racist shit I've ever seen. What because he's poor, grew up abused, and violent he's Hispanic like this is the most offensive stuff as a Hispanic and you should be ashamed and it's mostly white people doing this to like fuck out of here. He was NEVER Tim's Robin, which was dick and it always will be like this is the dumbest take I've ever seen.

Stephanie is kinda irrelevant and doesn't really bring anything to the hero community, and she needs to be held accountable for the shit she did and started. People are always like she was just doing what Bruce said too for his approval but the same people turn around and say she never wanted anything to do with him and never wanted his approval and is so independent until you want to talk about her faults then it's Bruce's fault never hers.

Jon never should have been made he adds nothing to the overall dc universe and its dumb what they did to his character.

Alfred is not this golden grandfather character he's an enabler and helped Bruce psychologically abuse Tim for his 16th bday. Also all the shit he sees going on that Bruce is doing to all the kids and just let's it happen.

Fandom needs to be stopped like at all costs. They ruined the characters and their personalities so much. Tim and dami get along now and stopped fighting each other long ago. Let it go already them constantly fighting is boring their not buddy buddy, but they are not constantly at each other's throats either.

Bruce dose not love them kids he loves the control he has over them. When they start trying to be their own person, he either beats them into submission or gets rid of them. He's a piece of shit.

Clark is also a piece of shit and needs to get more heat for the way he treated kon in the beginning.

The batfamily is way too crowded now. it doesn't work anymore. It peaked when it was Bruce, dick, babs, Cass, Tim, Alfred, and Helena. I like Duke and can tolerate Damian if he's written good but with them and the rows and even Kate its just too much.

I think one of the reasons that I don't absolutely love timber is because it feels kind of fake to me. Like it's too perfect that you have bernard Who already knows tim's identity And of course we never got told how And I just think it feels so ew to me because It feels like a cop out because tim has never Been able to tell someone his identity its either been told ( bitchman sorry batman) or found out through shenanigans (yj) or from plot (tam)

And I hate that. He should be able to TELL someone. Give him the decision. And I hate how this could be part of a whole arc for him and bernard. It can be something that feels real. I don't want this whole teehee I already knew the whole time and came to terms with it. I want drama. And I know the only reason that it's like this is because it's a m/m ship, and it's new. The writers don't want to upset people, but it just feels so fake the way it is now. Real Relationships have drama they have fights, and they have conflict. But dc is not gonna give us that because they are afraid of how it will be perceived. I think this is why I can't enjoy the ship as much as I want. I want Bernard to be suspicious of where tim goes at night or why he has to leave their dates in the middle of them or not even show up and cancel at the last minute. I want them to fight and make up and talk to each other about stuff. I want tim to finally be able to tell someone himself about who he really is. I want conflict because you know if it was a straight ship, they would have this. Guess what dc us in the lgbtq+ community have real relationships to. It's not just fine and dandy all the time for us. Also give benard back his fun goofy asshole personality and his HIGHT DC HES TALLER THAN TIM!

I know it seems like I hate these characters, but its mostly the fandom that ruined them for me and Meghan Fitzmartin fuck her she's ruining the charecters and her story lines are trash

What's your batfam hot take that will land you like this?

[batfamfixation]

How I think RHATO would have gone down if the New 52 didn't insist on being the worst:

First of all, Kory would not be a hypersexual airhead that pretends to have dissociative amnesia to not address her past. She would exist outside of the male gaze and act normal (for her). Her background wouldn't have random changes made to it.

Roy would not be depicted as a reckless, incompetent idiot. He would likely lead the Outlaws, not Jason, since Roy has led both the Titans and the Outsiders. He, Kory, and Jason would be depicted as equals, because Jason isn't better than them. Roy's background wouldn't have random changes made to it. He would have a heroin addiction, because that's an important part of his background that shouldn't be erased. His therapist wouldn't be Hugo Strange???? Keep him in therapy and addiction counseling though, because he deserves it (affectionately)

Jason would at this point be on amicable terms with the Bats. He wouldn't like Bruce or agree with him, but he would have moved on from his pre-52 anti-villian phase (although still toeing the line of anti-villain). The all-caste storyline wouldn't exist, because what the fuck. Random, unnecessary changes wouldn't be made to his backstory.

As for the actual plot-

Kory and Jason would meet the same way, but she wouldn't ignore her time as a Titan and wouldn't immediately try to sleep with him. She would hold him accountable for his past actions while also acknowledging that people are capable of changing and growing. Kory would still need Roy's help to fix her ship, but she would make it clear to Jason that he needed to not kill people if they were all going to work together. When they track Roy down they find him being a competent hero and not a damsel in distress. Roy wouldn't immediately trust Jason, but he does trust Kory. He's not going to refuse to help her or argue about her partnering with Jason, because Kory has proven plenty of times that she's capable of making her own decisions.

After that change like 70% of the missions in RHATO. There can be a storyline with the League of Assassins, but not such a dumb one. Give me them taking down trafficking rings and Roy slowly getting past his initial disliking of Jason, because if he can fall in love with an assassin, he can be partners with a borderline anti-villain. Give me Jason slowly starting to feel comfortable around them and showing a more open side of himself (literature nerd, dramatic, theater kid vibes, still deeply traumatized and struggling to cope (WFA vibes)). Give me Kory being the absolute queen she is and having an actual personality. Have her able to hold regular conversations with the guys. Have Dick still being Roy's best friend (honestly I feel like Roy is probably Jason's best friend, Dick is probably Roy's best friend, and Donna is Dick's best friend. I'm pretty sure Donna is also canonically Kory's best friend) and them meeting up and getting along great and talking about Roy being teammates with Dick's ex-fiance (THAT HE DID NOT CHEAT ON) and little brother with murderous tendencies. Don't make Roy have beef with a literal child (Damian).

My point is that the Outlaws would still exist if New-52 didn't butcher their established characterizations

[aion-rsa]

Doctor Who: Perfect 10? How Fandom Forgets the Dark Side of David Tennant’s Doctor

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As recently as September 2020 David Tennant topped a Radio Times poll of favourite Doctors. He beat Tom Baker in a 2006 Doctor Who Magazine poll, and was voted the best TV character of the 21st Century by the readers of Digital Spy. He was the Doctor during one of Doctor Who‘s critical and commercial peaks, bringing in consistently high ratings and a Christmas day audience of 13.31 million for ‘Voyage of the Damned’, and 12.27 million for his final episode, ‘The End of Time – Part Two’. He is the only other Doctor who challenges Tom Baker in terms of associated iconography, even being part of the Christmas idents on BBC One as his final episodes were broadcast. Put simply, the Tenth Doctor is ‘My Doctor’ for a huge swathe of people and David Tennant in a brown coat will be the image they think of when Doctor Who is mentioned.

In articles to accompany these fan polls, Tennant’s Doctor is described as ‘amiable’ in contrast to his predecessor Christopher Eccleston’s dark take on the character. Ten is ‘down-to-earth’, ‘romantic’, ‘sweeter’, ‘more light-hearted’ and the Doctor you’d most want to invite you on board the TARDIS. That’s interesting in some respects, because the Tenth Doctor is very much a Jekyll and Hyde character. He’s handsome, he’s charismatic, and travelling with him can be addictively fun, but he is also casually cruel, harshly dismissive, and lacking in self-awareness. His ego wants feeding, and once fed, can have destructive results.

That tension in the character isn’t due to bad writing or acting. Quite the contrary. Most Doctors have an element of unpleasantness to their behaviour. Ever since the First Doctor kidnapped Ian and Barbara, the character has been moving away from the entitled snob we met him as, but can never escape it completely.

Six and Twelve were both written to be especially abrasive, then soften as time went on (with Colin Baker having to do this through Big Finish audio plays rather than on telly). A significant difference between Twelve and Ten, though, is that Twelve questions himself more. Ten, to the very end, seems to believe his own hype.

The Tenth Doctor’s duality is apparent from his first full appearance in 2005’s ‘The Christmas Invasion’. Having quoted The Lion King and fearlessly ambled through the Sycorax ship in a dressing gown, he seems the picture of bonhomie, that lighter and amiable character shining through. Then he kills their leader. True, it was in self-defence, but it was lethal force that may not have been necessary. Then he immediately topples the British Prime Minister for a not dissimilar act of aggression. Immediately we see the Tenth Doctor’s potential for violence and moral grey areas. He’s still the same man who considered braining someone with a rock in ‘An Unearthly Child’. 

Teamed with Rose Tyler, a companion of similar status to Tennant’s Doctor, they blazed their way through time and space with a level of confidence that bordered on entitlement, and a love that manifested itself negatively on the people surrounding them. The most obvious example in Series 2 is ‘Tooth and Claw’, where Russell T. Davies has them react to horror and carnage in the manner of excited tourists who’ve just seen a celebrity. This aloof detachment results in Queen Victoria establishing the Torchwood institute that will eventually split them apart. We see their blinkers on again in ‘Rise of the Cybermen’, when they take Mickey for granted. Rose and the Doctor skip along the dividing line between romance and hubris.

Then, in a Christmassy romp where the Doctor is grieving the loss of Rose, he commits genocide and Donna Noble sucker punches him with ‘I think you need somebody to stop you’. Well-meaning as this statement is, the Doctor treats it as a reason to reduce his next companion to a function rather than a person. Martha Jones is there to stop the Doctor, as far as he’s concerned. She’s a rebound companion. Martha is in love with him, and though he respects her, she’s also something of a prop.

This is the series in which the Doctor becomes human in order to escape the Family of Blood (adapted from a book in which he becomes human in order to understand his companion’s grief, not realising anyone is after him), and is culpable for all the death that follows in his wake. Martha puts up with a position as a servant and with regular racist abuse on her travels with this man, before finally realising at the end of the series that she needs to get out of the relationship. For a rebound companion, Martha withstands a hell of a lot, mostly caused by the Doctor’s failings. 

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Series 4 develops the Doctor further, putting the Tenth’s Doctor’s flaws in the foreground more clearly. Donna is now travelling with him, and simply calls him out on his behaviour more than Rose or Martha did. Nonetheless the Doctor ploughs on, and in ‘Midnight’ we see him reduced to desperate and ugly pleas about how clever he is when he’s put in a situation he can’t talk himself out of.

Rose has also become more Doctor-like while trapped in another reality, and brutally tells Donna that she’s going to have to die in order to return to the original timeline (just as the Doctor tells Donna she’s going to have to lose her memories of travelling with him in order to live her previous life, even as she clearly asks him not to – and how long did the Doctor know he would have to do this for? It’s not like he’s surprised when Donna starts glitching). Tied into this is the Doctor’s belief in his own legend. In ‘The Doctor’s Daughter’ he holds a gun to Cobb’s head, then withdraws it and asks that they start a society based on the morals of his actions. You know, like a well-adjusted person does.

What’s interesting here is that despite presenting himself as ‘a man who never would’, the Doctor is a man who absolutely would. We’ve seen him do it. Even the Tenth Doctor, so keen to live up to the absolute moral ideals he espouses, killed the Sycorax leader and the Krillitanes, drove the Cybermen to die of despair, brought the Family of Blood to a quiet village and then disposed of them personally. But Tennant doesn’t play this as a useful lie, he plays it as something the Doctor absolutely believes in that moment, that he is a man who would not kill even as his daughter lies dead. It’s why his picking up a gun in ‘The End of Time’ has such impact. And it makes some sense that the Tenth Doctor would reject violence following a predecessor who regenerated after refusing to commit another double-genocide.

In the series finale ‘Journey’s End‘, Davros accuses the Doctor of turning his friends into weapons. This is because the Doctor’s friends have used weapons against the Daleks who – and I can’t stress this enough – are about to kill everyone in the entire universe. Fighting back against them seems pretty rational. Also – and again I can’t stress this enough – the Daleks are bad. Like, really bad. You won’t believe just how mindbogglingly bad they are. The Doctor has tried to destroy them several times by this point. Here, there isn’t the complication of double-genocide, and instead the very real threat of absolutely everyone in the universe dying. This accusation, that the Doctor turns people into weapons, should absolutely not land.

And yet, with the Tenth Doctor, it does. This is a huge distinction between him and the First Doctor, who had to persuade pacifists to fight for him in ‘The Daleks’.

In ‘The Sontaran Strategem’ Martha compares the Doctor to fire. It’s so blunt it almost seems not worth saying, but it’s the perfect analogy (especially for a show where fire is a huge part of the very first story). Yes, fire shines in dark places, yes it can be a beacon, but despite it being very much fire’s entire deal, people can forget that it burns. And fire has that mythical connection of being stolen from the gods and brought to humanity. The Time Lord Victorious concept fits the Tenth Doctor so well. Of all the Doctors, he’s the most ready to believe in himself as a semi-mythic figure.

Even when regenerating there’s a balance between hero and legend: the Tenth Doctor does ultimately save Wilfred Mott, but only after pointing out passionately how big a sacrifice he’s making. And then he goes to get his reward by meeting all his friends, only to glare at them from a distance. His last words are ‘I don’t want to go’, which works well as clearly being a poignant moment for the actor as well, but in the context of Doctor Who as a whole it renders Ten anomalous: no one else went this unwillingly. And yet, in interviews Russell T. Davies said it was important to end the story with ‘the Doctor as people have loved him: funny, the bright spark, the hero, the enthusiast’.

It’s fascinating then, that this is the Doctor who has been taken to heart by so many viewers because there’s such an extreme contrast between his good-natured front, his stated beliefs, and his actions. He clearly loves Rose and Donna, but leaves them with a compromised version of happiness. They go on extraordinary journeys only to end up somewhere that leaves them less than who they want to be, with Russell T. Davies being more brutally honest than Steven Moffat, who nearly always goes the romance route. Davies once said to Mark Lawson that he liked writing happy endings ‘because in the real world they don’t exist’, but his endings tend towards the bittersweet: Mickey and Martha end up together but this feels like they’re leftovers from the Doctor and Rose’s relationship. The Tenth Doctor doesn’t, as Nine does, go with a smile, but holding back tears.

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It’s a testament to how well written the Tenth Doctor is that the character has this light and shade, and with David Tennant’s immense likeability he can appeal to a wider audience as a result. It’s not surprise he wins all these polls, but I can’t help but feel that if the Doctor arrived and invited me on board the TARDIS, I’d want it to be anyone but Ten.

The post Doctor Who: Perfect 10? How Fandom Forgets the Dark Side of David Tennant’s Doctor appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[sunnysviolin]

Omotober Day Seven- Memory

“When I say I'm going to forget you I know it's impossible to forget someone I once knew. What I want is to erase you from my thoughts and purge you from my memories. I'm saying it's what I wish for, not what is or could ever be.”

― Donna Lynn Hope

“We deliberately forget because forgetting is a blessing. On both an emotional level and a spiritual level, forgetting is a natural part of the human experience and a natural function of the human brain. It is a feature, not a bug, one that saves us from being owned by our memories. Can a world that never forgets be a world that truly forgives?”

― Tim Challies

Hero wants to forget her.

No, that isn’t exactly it.

He wants to remember the shape of her face, the way her cheek had fit just so in his hand. She had round cheeks when they were little, her baby fat lingering right up until her last year of life. Her chin had just begun to sharpen to a finer point, the final bits of their youth fading towards a fast approaching adulthood.

Hidden beneath her long bangs, her hair came to a tight widow’s peak, and if she had ever decided to brush her hair back, everyone would see the perfect heart shape of her face. Mari hadn’t liked her widow’s peak, she had always tried to style her hair so no one knew she had it. Hero was nearly sure he was the only one who knew it existed, except perhaps her mother.

Sometimes he would see a girl tying her hair back and catch a glimpse of a point in the center of her hairline. This happened often with his friend from college, Yolanda. She had a mane of hair just like Mari, and that hair hid a curve that dipped low on her forehead. But her hair was a mess of frizzy amber curls, not jet black silky straight locks. Still, when Yo finally got fed up with the flyaways getting in her face and she pulled out her scrunchie, Hero was always forced to remember.

It was just the two of them at his house, his parents running errands and the kids still at school. There was only an hour difference between the high schools and the middle schools final bell, but that hour was precious to Hero. He and Mari would go to one of their houses and do their homework together. They would joke around, tease one another, and if they were absolutely sure they were alone, they might sneak in a kiss or two. They were always a little afraid of being caught, and the kids could burst in the front door at any moment, but sometimes the temptation was just too much.

Today however, Mari had decided that she preferred mischief to affection. Hero had stayed in the living room pulling out their textbooks while Mari went into the kitchen to make some snacks. He had been preoccupied getting something out of his backpack that he hadn’t seen when she came back in. But when he looked up, it wasn’t Mari that greeted him. It was a black hairy contorted monster with eight glowing red eyes and fearsome fangs. A spider, a huge terrifying spider face advancing on him.

Hero had already jumped up and shrieked like a little girl before he fully grasped what was happening. On instinct he had stumbled backwards, and he had ended up tripping over the couch and falling over the back of it. He popped up and threw two pillows, the terror grasping his throat rightly. Mari had broken into gales of laughter. She doubled over and clutched her stomach, tearing off the spider mask and continuing to howl, throwing her head back and unable to talk except for a few aborted attempts to tease him.

Once he knew he had been tricked, Hero’s face lit up and two glowing red spots emerged from his embarrassment. He let her laugh for a little while longer before the boy threw another pillow, this time perfectly hitting his mark. The pillow hit Mari directly in the face, and she managed to pull herself slightly together.

“Oh H-Hero, you’ll...Web over it” She blurted out, collapsing back into endless giggles. Hero tried to balance his supreme annoyance at her pranks and the burst of love that pulled at him from seeing her so full of joy. He decided not to balance them at all, and to get up and start to chase her around the room instead.

“Hero!” Mari giggled breathlessly, running to the other side of the couch and putting the furniture between them. They kept their eyes laser focused on each other, waiting to see who would make the first move. Both of them were panting with exertion, and Hero could feel his heart already racing from the brief chase. Hector barked at their antics from his place on his bed, excited by the burst of energy running around the house.

Mari was distracted momentarily by the dog, and Hero took this as his chance. In a burst of speed he dashed around the couch, laughing when Mari screeched and scurried away. She ran into the kitchen and Hector bounded off of his bed and jumped at Hero’s legs. By the time he detangled himself from his dog and slid into the kitchen, Mari had vanished into thin air. Hero began to walk slowly around, looking for anything that might be out of place and straining his ears to listen for the sound of her laughter.

Peaceful silence, only broken by the sound of Hector in the living room and the radio they had put on low. Then a clanging noise coming from behind the closed pantry door. A door he was sure was open when he had left the house this morning. Hero crept over to stand next to the door and grabbed an apple off the counter behind him. He threw the apple through the doorway to the living room, listening to it clatter outside. Mari, who clearly thought this was her boy bumping into something the way he always did, creaked open the pantry door, not noticing Hero standing next to her until it was too late.

He grabbed his girl in his arms and picked her up, holding her tight and not giving her a chance to try and get away. Mari didn’t even bother, wrapping her arms around his neck and laughing in his ear. Hero carried her back up the stairs and into his room, both of them collapsing onto his bed in giggles. He trapped her face in his hands and brushed her hair back, attacking her with kisses and listening to Mari continue to fall into snickers and playfully pushed on his chest.

He kissed right at the point of her widow’s peak, enjoying the annoyed little whine his girl gave. He knew she hated that little detail, but he loved it. He loved the point in her hair, and the tiny little peak that was unique only to her and was a secret just for him. Hero loved the way her face fit perfectly in his hands, like he was made for her. He loved the feeling of having her in his arms, a warm solid weight that warmed him from top to bottom and never felt too heavy to bear, and god he loved her. He loved her so, so, very much.

Hero had tried to avoid being alone with Yolanda, and made excuses as to why he disappeared every time she had her hair up. His friends either hadn’t noticed or simply chalked it up to one of Hero’s weird habits. He had a fair amount of them after all.

Then one day she confronted him. She had banged on his door and flown into his room and demanded to know why he was specifically avoiding her. Yolanda had thrown out theory after theory, but all Hero could see was her hair, and her heart shaped face, and he was getting sick wondering if her cheek would feel the same in his hand. Yolandas words had slowly died off as she realized he wasn’t listening to her and looked like he was about to have a panic attack. He asked her to leave and when she was gone he laid on his bed and felt a tingling in his palms, a ghost of laughter playing in his mind in a torturous loop.

Yolanda had started to tie her hair back with a ribbon instead of the high pony she used to do. She never spoke about it and he never asked, but the memory still never went away fully.

Hero wanted to forget her, but he really didn’t.

Hero wanted to remember the smell of her perfume. She got it when they were little, a gift from one of her great aunts who still lived in Japan. It was very elegant and fancy for just a seven year old, but Mari was able to pull it off. A small crystal bottle that fit in the palm of a hand with a gold topper and an organza ribbon wrapped around the neck. Her great aunt got her a bottle every year for her birthday, and when that aunt passed, her daughter kept up the tradition.

Mari kept it on the shelf that Sunny and Kel couldn’t reach, keeping the temptation of playing with it and breaking it out of their grasp. She took it down twice a day, once in the morning to spritz herself before leaving for the day, and once at night after her bath. Mari had always said she liked to go to bed smelling like herself. It made her pillows and sheets slowly saturated with Jasmine and Yuzu, and Hero always knew when she was coming close based on that whiff of a smell that was undeniably Mari.

Every Friday at four oclock on the dot, Hero went to visit his mentor Dr. Beaufort. She was a strict woman and a difficult professor to impress, but Hero had wormed his way into her heart somehow. Dr. Beaufort had been in the military, and then afterwards she had traveled the world studying for years, so she had friends in almost every country. She kept in close contact with them all, through letters and phone calls and gifts exchanged back and forth. Often when Hero entered her office she would be opening a package that someone had sent her with something they thought she might find interesting. This one was from Japan, from a monk that she had befriended when visiting one of the temples.

He had included some of her favorite candies, the ones she couldn’t purchase here in America, and she gave Hero one to try. Mari had similar candies to this in her house, but her favorite chocolates had been filled with strawberry, not matcha. Still the sweet reminder was nice, and Hero savoured the flavor sitting on his tongue. Then Dr. Lori had taken out the bottle.

Hero recognized it instantly, the soft ribbon, the gleaming gold top. When Loretta had opened it and spritzed her wrist to smell, floral and citrus invaded his senses, and Hero was thrown into a memory

The sound of waves dragged Hero out of his lazy dozing. He opened his eyes just barely, looking around. The blankets and chairs around them were abandoned, and Hero caught the sounds of the kids screaming to each other in joy not too far away. He was lying on something warm and moving, and there were fingers in his hair.

A breath in, and there it was. Light delicate flowers, not artificial and overpowering like most perfumes, but a gentle scent that refreshed the air around it and could only belong to one person. Hero had tilted his head upwards, and there she was. Mari looked down at him, her eyes filled with love that almost hurt to look at.

Hero knew irrevocably how much he loved her, how much she completed him, but it was overwhelming to remember that she felt the same way about him. In moments like this it was impossible to not see it, there was no missing the adoration in her gaze or the way she squeezed him just a little tighter once she saw he was awake.

“You fell asleep,” She said, her voice quiet and low. He smiled and settled back against her, listening to her heart beating in his ear. If the kids were around, then he would have stammered and immediately gotten up to try and save face, lest one of them tease him and Mari when her father was around to hear, but he didn’t have to do that. It was just him and his girl in their own little world.

“Don’t worry, Handsome,” Mari whispered, her voice just catching over the background noise, “I’m watching the kids. You just rest,”

She accompanied her words with a hand carding through his hair, scratching along his scalp and then rubbing the back of his neck. A rush of pleasure flew through his nerves and he wiggled closer to her, giving her better access to continue the motion. She breathed out a quiet chuckle, and Hero’s head rose and fell with the motion. Mari ran her hand over his hair again, and Hero let his eyes drift shut once more. He breathed deeply, sleep starting to press at his eyes and trying to claim him back in its arms. Everything around him should have smelled like salt and the sea, but it was only jasmine. Jasmine, and the sun, and his girl.

Hero lied and told Dr. Lori that he was allergic to jasmine. He coughed a few times, using his childhood asthma attacks to pull off a convincing act. His watering eyes probably helped to sell it, there would be no reason she would expect them to be tears for any other reason. His mentor had leapt into action, ushering her favorite student out of the room and telling him to come back tomorrow to meet at a different time.

He stood in the doorway and watched her open the full long windows of the office, the snappy fall air filtering in. Guilt brushed against him for the lie, and her quick generous actions made it worse. He tried to say something about not needing to accommodate his silliness, but Loretta had brushed him aside. She had plenty of other perfumes, and it didn’t matter to her all that much.

The guilt lingered, but the relief of smelling leaves and crisp fresh air instead of flowers and citrus was more powerful. Dr. Lori never wore it again, and he never saw the bottle of crystal and gold lingering around, but Hero was sure that every time he opened her office door, a faint aroma of jasmine lingered.

And Hero wanted to forget what that meant. Hero just wanted to forget her, but he couldn’t.

He needed to remember the taste of her baking. The buttery rich sweetness of her chocolate chip cookies, and the meticulous way she would frost a cupcake. When their parents weren’t close and the kids couldn’t listen, Mari would tell her all of her dreams for them. They would open a bakery and cafe. Hero would be the chef, and he would make the best hero sandwiches the world had ever seen. She would bake her favorite treats and have all the room to experiment that she would want, and they would be happy.

He could see it in his mind, a stout white brick building with window boxes of flowers that Basil made for them, and metal tables with rainbow umbrellas for outdoor seating. It was a dream, they both knew that their parents expected so much more of them, but it was a nice dream. When the pressure of being the eldest, of being the one to set the example and be responsible, got to be too much, they would sit and enjoy the peacefulness of their future bakery. Mari had even given him a packet of her favorite recipes written on index cards in her careful neat handwriting.

He had brought it with him to college, hidden in his desk drawer alongside an old picture of her and him that Basil had given him for his birthday years ago. When an ingredient started to slip from his mind or the exact temperature she was so certain the oven needed to be couldn’t be recalled, a spike of panic would lodge in his chest. Hero would pull out that packet of cards and run his fingers along her penciled words, his heart aching but his mind at ease knowing he wouldn’t forget.

He did this once when his friends were in his room, and Sam had asked what they were. Hero hadn’t had time to lie before the other boy had come over and seen the cards. Sam had asked (more like begged) Hero to make them homemade cookies, declaring that they were the cure for the homesickness they were all feeling this far into the school year. Hero hadn’t wanted to, but before he could come up with an appropriate excuse, Tristan was breaking the seven of them into the dining hall.

The cookies came out of the oven exactly the same way Hero remembered them, and biting into the too hot sweet made Hero remember

“Kel, they’re too hot!”

His younger brother had yelped and dropped the cookie back onto the tray before Hero had even said the warning. The younger boy cradled his definitely burned fingers close, looking up at Hero with pain in his eyes. Hero turned around and put the tray he had just pulled out of the over on the counter, already mentally running through the checklist of things to do.

Kel needed to put his fingers under cold water, and then burn cream if it was bad enough. Hero should have been paying closer attention, he should have made sure that the kids were far enough behind him that they wouldn’t have gotten hurt. It was so irresponsible of him to not be watching, and now Kel had gotten hurt.

Once Hero had double checked that the tray was far enough from the edge that the other three wouldn’t get hurt, he turned back and blinked. Mari was standing by the sink, holding Kel’s hand under the slow running cold water. She was holding him close to her, making a soft shushing sound and rubbing a hand on his back.

“There, that feels better right?” She said, and Kel nodded, leaning into her touch. Hero watched the display without a word, and the other three were already preoccupied with debating who would use the spatula to put the cookies on a cooling tray. Mari and Kel were only focused on their moment, and they didn’t notice Hero standing there.

“You have to be more careful Kel,” Mari said, firm but still kind. Hero marveled at the way she could do that, her balance between sympathy and authority was impeccable, “You’re old enough to know not to do that, and you need to be responsible.”

If their mother or father had said that, Kel would have probably reacted badly or taken it too hard. With Mari, Kel just nodded and agreed to do better next time. She gave him a tight hug and ruffled his hair, and Kel scampered off to join the others, his injury completely forgotten. Mari noticed where Hero had placed himself

“Sorry if I overstepped there,” She commented, turning her head away and holding her breath. It wasn’t often Mari seemed nervous around Hero, it was usually the other way around, but seeing it now wasn’t a shock.

They had an unspoken rule to not get too overbearing with each other’s siblings. Hero would help Sunny with things, but he never pushed Sunny out of his comfort zone, and Mari would always be there for Kel, but she normally never lectured him. Hero wrapped his arms around her and rested his chin on the top of her head.

“I probably wouldn’t have thought to say that,” Hero replied, “I probably baby him too much,”

Mari pulled away and poked the tip of his nose, something she always did when she wanted him to stop insulting himself. She called it her ‘Hero Reset Button’ mostly because when they were little doing that would stop him mid sentence and he would completely lose his train of thought. Now doing it just made him twitch his nose and give her an amused grin. She reached around him and plucked one of the cookies off of the cooling rack, raising her eyebrows in challenge.

“C’mon Hot Stuff, you can’t blame yourself every time,” Mari said, holding up the cookie for him to sink his teeth into. The kids were giggling and pretending not to be watching the two older kids and their flirting. Hero rolled his eyes but took a bite anyway. It was still just a touch too hot, but the burn was worth it.

Nausea had ripped through him, and Hero had spat out the cookie that sat in his mouth. He was sure he was going to be sick and his friends were all staring at him. Hero had run out of the dining hall and up to his dorm room. He had locked the door tight and pressed his forehead against it.

The index cards sat innocently on the desk behind them, and Hero thought about ripping them up and throwing them in the trash. Then eventually the recipes would be gone, and he wouldn’t know how to make them anymore. He would never have to feel this again.

Hero wanted to forget. But he couldn’t.

There were things he knew he wanted to forget. He didn’t want to remember the weeks of blankness that had come after Mari had gone. He didn’t want to think about the white haze that had enveloped his life without her, and how close he had gotten to following her to the grave. He had planned it all out, he had been sure that it would work, and then his brother had forced him to live.

Kel would never know that, Hero would never allow him to know just how close his brother had been to giving up. Things were better at school. Now that he was away from Faraway and he could be someone new, the emptiness went away. Tristan had helped to get rid of that.

Kissing Tristan helped him to forget. He was able to forget about the drained out parts of himself, and Hero could let go of how ridiculously ordinary and unremarkable he was without her. Kissing Tristan wasn’t like kissing Mari. He wasn’t gentle, wasn’t careful and cautious with every little moment. He took what he wanted, he gave what he felt like giving, and he didn’t make any attachments. He never told Hero he loved him, and he probably never would.

That was fine by Hero, it worked out for them.

The only problem was kissing Tristan made him remember the worst.

Red and Blue. All he could see was red and blue, and it hurt his eyes and stayed in his vision even when he shut his eyes tight. Their parents had forced them inside, his father practically manhandling Hero into the house. His papa had never been rough with him before, never so much as thought of raising a hand to either of his boys, and Hero knew he hadn’t meant it to be so harsh. He hadn’t cared about that anyway, Hero had been stuck on the Blue and the Red.

There were police outside of Mari’s house. Police and ambulances. Hero had gone to their backyard in a daze and looked out.

Her dress was Red. Hero thought it was the police lights at first, but the Red was too deep, it was still, not flickering and changing. Mari had been wearing a white dress when Hero had seen her last. She laughed and threw her arms around his neck. She had kissed him till they were breathless, and she hadn’t even cared that her mother could see them. She had whispered in her ear that she loved him, and she couldn’t wait for him to see her tonight.

Was this what she meant?

Hero had only looked for a second before he shut his eyes, palms pressing hard to his eyes so he couldn’t open them even if he had wanted to. But the image remained. Her Red dress. Mari’s dress was Red with blood and she was dead. His knees felt weak and Hero let himself slowly slide to the ground. He couldn’t feel his body and his mouth was filled with metal.

She was Dead.

He couldn’t stop thinking it. It just repeated over and over. She was dead. She was Dead. She was hanging in a tree and if he opened his eyes she would be there again. There wasn’t anything that could stop the thought, and Hero wanted to stop it. He didn’t want to think it anymore. It wasn’t happening. It wasn’t real.

But the Red stayed. And so did her ghost.

When he closed his eyes and saw her corpse staring back at him, Hero couldn’t help but push Tristan away. He would make the other boy leave, unable and unwilling to offer any explanation on why he had to go. Tris would usually be ticked off for a few days, but it went away fast. Before long they would be back to being whatever undefined thing they were, and Hero would be able to repress the ghost that lived in his soul long enough to just enjoy having someone who made him feel a little less lonely.

Hero knew he was using Tristan, he felt bad about using Tristan, but he couldn’t stop. He needed the comfort and he wanted the company. Some nights Hero would wake up to Tris tossing and turning next to him in bed. Hero would shake him awake and the other boy would freeze and grab his wrist in a tight punishing grip.

When Tris had collected his thoughts and knew where he was, he would push Hero down on the bed and kiss him with brutal force, not quite out of love but more out of desperation. Tristan was using Hero to forget something too, and that made it all fine, didn’t it? If they both knew they were using each other, and they were both aware of that, then it couldn’t be an issue. It was fun, it wasn’t supposed to be complicated, and Hero wanted-

Hero didn’t know what he wanted.

He didn’t want to forget her, but he wanted her ghost to stop lingering in every interaction he had. Hero wanted to be able to move on like how the rest of the world had. He was stuck in place, and he had been for four years, and he was never sure if he was going to be able to move again. Maybe if he didn’t see her in everything around him, maybe if the memories weren’t so clear in his mind, then maybe he would have a chance of having a life without Mari.

But the idea of losing those moments was too painful. The thought of Mari fading away into nothing but long forgotten dredges that might be prodded once or twice a year, maybe on her birthday or Christmas, was just incomprehensible.

If Hero let go of those memories, then she died all over again. Then he let her die again, just for his own selfish needs of not wanting her to be so important anymore. But she was his girl, his entire world, she was always going to be the most important person in his life.

They were supposed to get married and grow old together. He was supposed to see all the ways her face changed, to be able to love every wrinkle she despised, and feel satisfied knowing he caused the smile lines on her still round cheeks. They were supposed to have a bakery with the fresh scent of cookies in the air every day, so potent it hung on their clothes and lingered in their hair long after they put their aprons down and walked back to their home. He was supposed to get to hear her piano every day, to listen to the endless little tunes she dreamed up and the funny little ways she liked to jazz things up.

She wasn’t supposed to die hanging off of the tree they had used to learn how to climb when they were little. She wasn’t supposed to leave him alone for the rest of his life. But she had, and Hero was realizing more and more with every day that passed that he was never going to get to move on.

Because moving on meant forgetting and letting go, and Hero knew that deep down he never wanted to forget.

It was just killing him to keep remembering.

[raimispiderman]

From the booklet which comes with the Spider-Man Trilogy Limited Edition Collection blu-ray!

This talks about the making of Spider-Man 2, here’s the bit about the first Spider-Man movie.

Click for a transcript:

THE EVOLUTION OF A SUPERHERO

“It was truly gratifying and even a bit overwhelming to witness how strongly moviegoers around the world reacted to Spider-Man,” said director Sam Raimi. “As a filmmaker, I always want people to really enjoy my movies, and on that level, Spider-Man exceeded my expectations.”

After the triumph of the first Spider-Man, Raimi knew he had a responsibility to follow it up with a story that justified the fans’ enthusiasm and their built-in expectations for the next adventure. “There’s great interest in this movie, following the success of the first one,” he acknowledged. “For the kids who come to see it, Spider-Man is their hero. So while the job of making this movie is to provide entertainment, it is also to create a story that shows them a moral character, someone who has to make tough choices and the right decisions in order to continue to be worthy of their admiration.”

The wealth of detailed stories and characters in the Spider-Man comic book series provided a mother lode from which to cull the plot for Spider-Man 2. “The Marvel artists and writers have done a great job through the decades – I know, because I’m a big fan myself – so there’s a tremendous amount of good material to draw upon,” noted Raimi. “Finding a storyline wasn’t that difficult. It was finding the right story, the one that made for a proper follow-up installment, and provided a logical progression for the audience and a logical growth for the character. For the, I relied on the terrific storytelling instincts of my very fine producers Laura Ziskin and Avi Arad. Together with the contributions of our great writers, we found a plot line with ideas that reverberated.”

With the storyline of the new adventure locked, Arad looked forward to the reunion of the Spider-Man filmmaking family, not the least of which was Tobey Maguire. “Tobey was so happy to be Spider-Man again and to be Peter Parker,” said Arad. “As an actor Tobey relished deepening the audience’s understanding of who Peter Parker is and who is becoming,” added Ziskin. “Peter’s a man who is transition, someone who’s struggling with the choices he is making.”

Maguire added, “The theme ‘with great power comes great responsibility’ is never lost on Peter. It’s difficult to be a young man and have to sacrifice as much as he has – presumably for the greater good – and to neglect his personal desires. The struggle continues here and it’s quite complicated, because Peter’s searching desperately for a way to achieve some balance in his life.”

 As Peter becomes more immersed in his dilemma, it creates a rift between him and the important people in his life. Though his love for MJ is stronger than ever, she has moved on with her life, pursuing an acting career, living in Manhattan and moving in new social circles. “In this film, Peter is off in his own world and not a reliable presence in MJ’s life,” explained Kirsten Dunst. “She still loves him a great deal, so it has become painful for her to be around him. Though they’ve both done a lot of growing up in the past two years, at the same time, they’ve drifted apart.”

Then, as if Peter’s life were not complicated enough, the situation moves from bad to worse – much worse. Enter Doc Ock.

Dr. Otto Octavius (Alfred Molina) is a brilliant scientist whose life work has been dedicated to experiments utilizing fusion as a new source of energy. Charming, vibrant and energetic, Dr. Octavius is introduced to Peter by Harry Osborn.

“This movie is the story of Peter’s life, which is out of balance, and Dr. Octavius who, for Peter, represents someone who has achieved that balance,” explained Raimi.

“Peter sees Octavius as somebody who has mastered both his gifts – in this case science, through which he can serve the good of mankind, while also maintaining a personal life, a loving relationship with his wife Rosie (Donna Murphy). This leads Peter to the conclusion that it’s possible to have both.” Dr. Octavius, with the support of his wife, has been working diligently in his home laboratory, trying to perfect his groundbreaking fusion theory. But when a demonstration of his creation goes horribly wrong, Dr. Octavius undergoes a terrible transformation – evolving into the powerful, multi-tentacled Doc Ock.

In Spider-Man 2, the talented and versatile Molina brings this powerful adversary to terrifying life. “He is a formidable enemy for Spider-Man,” said Arad. “He can climb walls faster and better than Spider-Man. In fact, there’s nothing Spider-Man can do that Ock cannot counteract.”

Doc Ock, one of the most popular villains of the Spider-Man comic book series, first appeared in “The Amazing Spider-Man #3,” which was published in 1963. He immediately became one of Spider-Man’s most formidable foes. According to comic lore, each of Ock’s limbs can move at speeds of up to 90 feet per second and strike with the force of a jackhammer. The extremely powerful tentacles enable him to lift a vehicle off the ground, pulverize bricks, claw through concrete walls and hover above his victims by rising into the air.

The filmmakers were eager to attract Molina for the central role. “We needed someone who brought a palpable reality to the part, and who was also sincere, had a great sense of humor and personal warmth,” said Raimi. “Alfred is a brilliant actor, and what he’s brought so effectively to the character of Doc Ock is the sense of him as a misunderstood man who has turned into a beast.”

Molina confessed, “I’ve always been a Marvel Comic fan because their characters are so interesting. They have problems. They’re very realistic.” From him, the mechanics behind the role of Doc Ock was a true education. “It was mind-boggling, the breadth and the imagination that went into how each of my character’s actions – flying across the room, crashing through a plate glass window, smashing a taxicab – was to be executed. It’s a unique way of filming that’s not like anything most of us get to do really. It’s a very particular way of working, and absolutely fascinating.”

J.K. Simmons also returns in Spider-Man 2 as Peter’s gruff boss at the Daily Bugle, J Jonah Jameson. “I fire Peter several times in this movie. Every time I see him, I fire him,” laughed Simmons. “And then I re-hire him because there’s always some pressing need for his services.”

Principal photography on Spider-Man 2 began on April 12, 2003, in New York City, where the production spent approximately three weeks shooting at various locations in Manhattan, Queens and Brooklyn, as well as on a Yonkers stage. From ground-level street shots to rooftops high above the city, the filmmakers efficiently utilized the time they spent in New York, giving them the opportunity to expand on the city’s unique environment, which had lent such vibrancy to the first Spider-Man.

“In the first film we established New York as a character in the movie. With Spider-Man 2, we went even further,” said production designer Neil Spisak. “We used a lot more of the city, including [photographic] plates of real buildings and real streets. Improvements in technology over the past three years enabled [visual effects designer] John Dykstra and I to marry existing buildings to scenery buildings to CG buildings even better than the first time around. It’s a much more complete experience.”

“We got more of a feeling of New York in this movie,” added Ziskin. “The movie is being shot in widescreen, which is appropriate because this is a different story, so it required a different approach.”

Production began on the campus of Columbia University in uptown Manhattan, which served as the university Peter Parker attends while he struggles with the responsibilities of his academic workload and his superhero duties. The rooftop of the Hotel Intercontinental, across from the Waldorf Astoria, was the location where Spider-Man contemplates his next move, while downtown, in the Wall Street area, another rooftop served as the “launch-pad” for the Spydercam camera, as it dipped and swooped over several blocks to replicate one of Spider-Man’s high-stakes aerial journeys through the city.

“We executed one of the longest wire shots the Spydercam has ever done,” said executive producer Joseph M. Maracciolo. “The Wall Street shot was around 2,400 feet. I’m an ex New Yorker, so I didn’t find the location shoot particularly daunting. But there are always difficulties when you’re doing wire work in New York, including the placement of the cranes on the buildings, the movement of the cast, crew and equipment, and of course, the crowds.”

“It was a challenge for us to move our production to the tops of buildings, but we couldn’t have been happier, because rooftops are Spider-Man’s world and that is his view of the city as he swings through it,” noted co-producer Grant Curtis. “It was breathtaking to see the world from 70 stories up – a world unto itself. You can’t fully really appreciate the beautiful architecture of New York’s skyscrapers from ground level. We showed some of that in the first film, but we wanted to show more of Spider-Man’s vertiginous world, and I think we really captured that with this film.”

In Spider-Man 2, Doc Ock sweeps Aunt May off her feet – literally – and takes her up several stories of a tall building. Rosemary Harris performed her stunts in a variety of harnesses, but only after she had managed to talk the filmmakers into letting her give her stunt double a rest. “I was a bit miffed at first, because my wonderful stunt double was going to do a lot of these harness maneuvers,” recalled Harris. “So I asked Sam and Laura, ‘Why not let me have a go at it?’ At first they were reluctant. But I begged them to at least let me try and they finally relented.”

Returning to Los Angeles, Spider-Man 2 shot on several stages on the Sony Pictures Studios lot in Culver City. Stage 15 was home to the Daily Bugle offices, as well as Peter’s tiny apartment and Dr. Octavius’ elaborate home laboratory. On Stage 29, the Osborn mansion, where Harry Osborn now lives, was recreated. Stage 27 housed MJ’s apartment set, a giant spider web, the interior of the Planetarium, the massive clock tower set as well as various other set pieces. A series of elevated trains were built on Stage 14, where Spider-Man and Doc Ock match wits.

One of the most elaborate sets for Spider-Man 2 was the pier set, designed by Spisak and built over the course of 15 weeks on Soundstage 30. “In contrast to Dr. Octavius’ lab, which was part of his apartment – a streamlined, organized and clean space – the pier is a maniacal, decaying, decrepit space,” explained Spisak. “It follows his character development in terms of his becoming a wilder, more dangerous and more formidable adversary for Spider-Man.”

The set, approximately 60 feet wide by 120 feet long and 40 feet tall, was constructed over a water tank and enhanced by several different components, including CG/plate work and miniatures.

“Before we built the set, we created an exact ¾ scale model of it, about 7 feet long and 4 feet wide, from drawings and blueprints. The model was extremely useful to the carpenters, who could take measurements to help them construct the full-sized pier, as well as for the miniatures team, so they could ascertain the dimensions, textures and materials that were used,” explained art director Tom Wilkins. “We shot plates down in San Pedro, where we panned from a real pier to the water. In post-production a New York background was added. We also built a miniature pier – interiors and exteriors – to complete the composition on the East River.” The art department team designed a 136 foot by 40 foot-high vinyl backing to represent Ock’s view of Manhattan through a large window at the end of the pier set. Wave machines were rigged in the water to create movement under the pier.

The production then moved to the Universal backlot for two weeks of shooting. Several city streets were transformed into a variety of New York neighborhoods including the exterior of the Lyric Theatre where MJ performances in an off-Broadway production of Oscar Wilde’s The Importance of Being Earnest. Ari’s Village Deli and Bakery became the site of an extremely complex scene involving a quiet conversation between Peter and MJ, which is interrupted by Peter’s “spider sense” – and a car careening through the plate glass window, followed by the arrival of Doc Ock.

“It was a great luxury to be able to build that set from every aspect, so that we could do everything we needed for the scene,” said Spisak. “The walls were made of french plate so that when the car smashed through it, the buildings around it were protected. We were able to design what we thought it should look like visually, then as tricks, gags and stunts became clearer, we were able to add them to the set before it was completely finished.”

“The deli was a full, 360 degree set, with a kitchen, deli counters, pastries, ceiling fans and chandeliers,” added art director Steve Saklad, who worked closely with Spisak. “We dressed the exterior streets so that you could look out of the window and see the intersection of Lafayette Street and Astor Place. It required an enormous amount of signage, billboards, street dressing, trees and traffic lights.”

For Raimi,  “The diner was a complex technical scene, because it brought together so many different departments, each relying on the other to fulfil their function  and communicate with each other so that each individual shot would work. We utilized mechanical effects and the stunt department had to take an automobile, spin it and flip it through the deli window, with the prop department providing the breakaway items. What made it even more complex was that we had to fly Doc Ock in, using something we dubbed the “walk rig.”

The “walk rig” was created for Doc Ock, because the character not only moves himself, but his tentacles move him around as well. When he walks on the tentacles, they support his weight, so a device was constructed to harness him and move him through space as if the tentacles were supporting him. The visual effects department also created “virtual” tentacles where practical ones weren’t feasible.

When he was in full costume, Molina’s tentacles weighed between 75 to 100 pounds, depending upon the action required for the scene. Each of the tentacles was fully articulated. In their expanded, 13-foot length, each upper tentacle consisted of approximately 76 individual pieces Each vertabra was handmade, hand molded, sanded, individually hand painted, chromed, then painted again and assembled by hand. The entire collection of Doc Ock tentacles, bases, heads and wrists, if laid end to end, would be taller than a 20-story building.

Academy Award winning costume designer James Acheson welcomed the opportunity to further explore and improve upon the already classic Spider-Man costume for Spider-Man 2. “Creating the Spider-Man suit for the first film was a real challenge since we were designing for a kind of Cirque du Soleil acrobat, someone who had a unbelievable kinetic spiraling ability,” he said. “So the suit had to be extremely flexible. For the new installment we made several improvements, though you’d have to be a real enthusiast to spot them. The colors are slightly different, and we have made subtle changes in terms of the movement inside the costume’s hood. We also adjusted the eyepieces of Spider-Man’s mask as well as certain aspects of the spider design on the front and the back of the suit.”

For Spider-Man 2’s Doc Ock, Acheson and Raimi spent close to a year collaborating with Spisak and visual effects designer John Dykstra and working with Edge FX in what began as a series of “group think” sessions, according to Raimi. “I needed John Dykstra’s input, because it was John who was going to have to handle Doc Ock’s movements in CG, so he had to be involved in designing the character, along with Jim, who was going to determine the look of the character,” recalled Raimi. “Part of the look determined the movement, and what the arms look like began to govern how it functioned. Neil was involved because Ock had to be a part of Neil’s world in the film. A great interdependence developed among the department heads in order to achieve the complex nature and physicality of the character,”

“The challenge with Doc Ock is to visually create a believable world, focusing on a man with four tentacles growing out of his back,” said Spisak. “Now, that can be a tough swallow. So, in creating Ock and his world, we needed to design and play it so that everything was credible. Ove the course of several months, it became clear what was physically possible for Ock and what would have to be achieved via CG. We conceptualized the look and only then did we deal with the physical limitations, rather than letting them stop us at the beginning.”

Added Dykstra: “It was a huge challenge to make Doc Ock come to life. His tentacles had to meet several criteria. They had to be appropriate with regard to the world Neil had created for Spider-Man and Ock. The components of the costume – the texture and the weight – had to bed something an actor could actually wear. Since using the tentacles wasn’t always practical, we had to create ‘virtual’ versions with Edge FX. In the end, integrating the tentacles into the story was a marriage of all those components and the collaboration of everyone involved.”

Spisak and his team designed and dressed more than 100 sets and locations for Spider-Man 2. “There are probably 10 enormous sets, while some are simply street corners. We covered eleven blocks in downtown Los Angeles and used many rooftops, streets and buildings in New Yorj City,” noted Spisak. “This is certainly the biggest film I’ve ever done.”

Spisak worked with director of photography Bill Pope on the color palette for the sets, and they pored over research and location pictures to inspire them for the story’s lighting requirements. “In the first film, Peter Parker was younger, less aware and just beginning to discover his new powers. That was reflected in the overall look of the movie,” said Spisak. “With this film, he has been Spider-Man for a while, so his frustration over how to deal with his life versus his duty is more complex. That’s reflected in the color palette and the tone of this film – it’s a little more sophisticated, more complicated and deeper, in terms of color and look.”

Among the tools Dykstra and his team utilized to achieve the shots presenting Spider-Man’s point-of-view, while he is soaring over the city, was Earl Wiggins’ Spydercam. During the New York portion of the shoot, the specialized camera was launched using a remote-controlled computer suspended on a cable from a Wall Street-area rooftop more than 30 stories in the air, which recorded what DSpider-Man saw as he swung over the city. The camera traveled along a line suspended over four blocks, dipping down into the street and over the tops of several blocks of vehicles and background art that had been placed for the sequence.

“We were dropping the camera and moving it up and down over the course of the shot to follow Spider-Man’s trajectory as he swings through the arch, releasing a web, and shooting a new web as he swings into the traffic below,” explained Dykstra.

“One of the successes of the first film was the empathy the audience had for the main character. He was very sympathetic,” Dykstra said, “This movie explores the character in greater depth, and in terms of the visual effects, we’re hoping to give audiences an event more intimate sense of what it’s like to be Spider-Man. In the first film, we get to fly with him. The idea here is to make the flying sequences poetic enough and evocative enough that you will get an even stronger sense of what it’s like to fly like Spider-Man.”

That approach is reinforced by Raimi, said Ziskin, “One of the really striking aspects about Sam is that he is the audience for this film. He makes the movie for the audience, identifies with the characters and is always aware of the rhythms and how each sequence will play – both to him and the other members of the audience. That makes him the perfect director for this kind of material. Also, he’s at a point in his directing career where he’s at the top of his game. He is brilliant technically, but also works extraordinarily well with the actors. Ultimately, his personal connection to Peter Parker and the other main characters is a great gift to the audience.”

“These are tough, scary times and during such periods we look to heroic stories to give us hope,” noted Raimi. “Maybe that has something to do with why the audience was so taken with Spider-Man when he first appeared two years ago. With Spider-Man 2, I truly hope that audiences will feel that they’re seeing a love story, that they’re participating in another episode of Peter Parker’s life and are seeing the challenges and conflicts he faces and how he overcomes them. I hope it will leave them feeling uplifted and exhilarated.”

[river-bottom-nightmare]

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

tagged by the absolutely wonderful @dustorange (aghhh ily thank you!!) @bikoncon (how's it hangin reggie) and @pricetagofficial (aw thanks mom)

1. the batfam + flowers: when jason todd was thirteen years old, bruce bought him a collection of dusty old novels from a dingy little bookstore as a christmas present.

2. the batfam + books: damian is only just now branching out from the little cocoon he’d buried himself in when he’d come to America for the first time, terrified of letting drop of his home he’d bundled up tight against his heart escape.

3. hand in marriage: The thing about Wayne Manor was that the Waynes weren’t always good people.

4. single father: It’s in the little things Clark does, the little things that Kon knows no once notices, because Clark is Superman, he’s the height of morals and goodness.

5. there's still hope: “You really don’t have to go, you know. People change.”

6. pas de deux: It was dangerous, this dance they did.

7. ttk shenanigans: the thing is, sometimes his ttk wasn’t enough.

8. hospital chairs: Jason knew he made jokes about how pale Tim was, about how he was either a vampire or the perfect blue blood, about how he needed to get out and absorb some sun for God’s sake.

9. practice: the word practice was practically engraved into dick’s mind by now.

10. did you tell him you loved him?: tim’s laughing, really laughing, in the light and joyful way that he’s only ever done with a couple other people.

11. social chameleon: lets talk about how much of a social chameleon tim is.

12. golden child: you know what i’m curious about?

13. kinesthesia: people often thought sight was an photographer’s greatest strength, but donna was curled up in the corner of a couch, holding her camera with ease in way that belied years of practice, and knew she wasn’t looking, not really.

14. you don't need to say it: the justice league, and later other heroes as well, often mentioned how close the titans were, musing about how no matter who was on the team or which members kept cycling through or whatever horrors and betrayals they’d faced, the five of them stayed remarkably inseparable.

15. hero: i love thinking about how wally’s definition of a hero changed and evolved over time.

16. coconut cucumber cream cheese sandwiches: The first time Remus Lupin steps onto the Hogwarts Express, it takes every ounce of his willpower not to step right off.

17. photographer's eye: having a photographer’s eye means tim looks at the world through a filter.

18. i wanna shoop, baby: To read his words, they had to go to the fortune teller.

19. colours: red had always been a comforting colour.

20. that's my husband: "That’s my husband,” Dick sighs at the reception, eyes only for Wally as he does a frankly ridiculous dance with Bart.

hmmmmm. so i start my fics one of either three ways. 1) jumping straight into the action. b) saying something vague and then going on to elaborate in the rest of the fic/hc. iii) asking a rhetorical question or making a rhetorical statement that i then go on to answer. also, my sentences can get super long, dear GOD i need to shut up.

gotta say, my favourite is #10.

tagging literally anyone who wants to do this. anyone. whoever sees this, feel free to do it and to tag me in it!

[raymondebidochonlifechoices]

A VERY long post

… on how to build a hero Riverdale-style (or the power of double standard)

I will forever wonder: how is it possible that, although both Betty and Archie use morally ambiguous means, and although taking down a serial killer or a cult is ultimately more beneficial to a community than taking a gun and inciting a civil war, there are still people who believe that the woman who took down the serial killer is corrupted and in need of saving by the guy who helped start a civil war …

We all talk about how Jughead and Betty think that the end justifies the means, but in a show where existing within the grey area is the norm, what is it that perpetuates this idea that Bughead are more morally ambiguous than any other character? Aside from the fact they’re given the season’s mystery A plot and, thus, more exposure.

Archie is a prime example of someone who thinks that the end justifies the means. That’s the definition of being a vigilante, which has been his storyline twice in the show.

He believes that bringing a gun to the Southside and forming the Red Circle is fine because he is protecting his father, that burning a car or cutting the chains of protestants is ok because Hiram’s vision for Riverdale is Good™, that beating thugs bloody is justified because they were Bad People™ who threatened the El Royale minors. (They were. He could have tried to build a case against them instead). And yet, in the worst of circumstances we will say he’s a bit of a moron, never that he thinks the end justifies the means.  

In season 1 Archie was a himbo (and a bit of a fuckboy). (He was also Grundy’s victim but the writers though that was … hot?). He couldn’t make up his mind, he was jealous, he kissed someone who was not his partner (I can’t believe I’m writing this about Grundy). Yet, I (like most of the fandom) didn’t have a particular problem with him. He was called out on his behaviour, but without malice. Partly, I suspect, because he was behaving similarly to comic!Archie but thankfully sans the triangle plot. Archie stopped being a fuckboy after season 1. He did have two kisses with Betty while in a relationship with Veronica (season 2 & season 4) but they both came out of nowhere and the first one led nowhere (and in a way the second one will similarly lead nowhere because of the 7-year time jump). Archie started losing his popularity with the audience in season 2, not because of the kiss, but because of the gentrification storyline and -more importantly- because of the writers’ decision to ever since actively brush off his more questionable behaviour, while still giving him problematic storylines.

The idea that Betty needs saving and that Archie should be the one to do it, comes from this double standard.

1. It is not really about having good intentions. Just like Archie, Betty and Jughead do have good intentions. I should think that trying not to have your family/friends brainwashed by an organ-harvesting cult or ridding Riverdale of a drug lord (drug lady?) mother are fantastically good intentions. The juxtaposition lies elsewhere. @go-ldy called it earnestness vs ruthlessness. I call it impulsiveness vs deliberation. Archie acts impulsively, which makes him seem more earnest and is, therefore, seen in a more positive light. Whereas Betty and Jughead are shrewder: they think things through, are aware of the grey areas and then consciously go on with their plan anyway. For that reason, they seem more ruthless than Archie, although their intentions are equally good and their execution is no more questionable than his.

2. But then the writers explicitly tell us that, in Archie’s case, the end does indeed justify the means. More often than not, we are shown Archie earning a sympathetic pat on the shoulder for his good intentions (and “misguided” actions). Yet, the audience in never told in the same explicit way that Betty’s and Jughead’s actions were for a good cause. This is an artifice to set Archie apart and reinforce him as an earnestly “good guy”. The writers like this device and keep employing it season after season. (Personally, I find that having Archie repeatedly earnestly engaging in problematic choices, has a cumulative negative effect. Obviously, the writers do not agree.)

3. Unlike Archie, Betty and Jughead are explicitly labelled by the writers as dangerous / dark™. For all that Dark Betty (also ™) has very specific visual marks, Betty’s “darkness” has been a very vague notion, encompassing (AND deprecating) her sexuality and mental health. Don’t even get me started on the non-existent “killer genes” (by the way, Archie wouldn’t be able to do anything about them, because, you know … supposedly DNA). Likewise, for Jughead, the Serpents were originally presented as dangerous and evil: Jughead was ashamed of his father being a Serpent and, even in their evolution in season 2, they were still morally ambiguous (f.e. Tall Boy, Penny). These labels sticked, even when the Serpents fizzled out to mostly being Jughead’s posse whenever the plot was in need of more friends/allies and despite the fact that Betty is usually NOT Dark Betty when blackmailing people (blackmail being her most questionable behaviour so far, alongside being coerced to cover up Chick’s murder).

4. In comparison, Archie’s character is continuously lifted up by the writers, who alternate between scenes of Archie’s questionable -but ultimately acceptable- decisions (f.e. the way he delivered the news of the break up in 2x18) with scenes of his good guy persona (f.e. trying to warn Jughead of the Southside High raid and being his right hand in the car race in the very next episode). Betty and Jughead are always too involved in the mystery, so their “good persona” scenes are usually their couple scenes. As a Bughead fan I find them very nice and hot and validating for their relationship, but they do not carry the same moral gravitas as Archie making a Thanksgiving Feast for everybody in El Royale or trying to convince Munroe not to take drugs to boost his performance (even if these are isolated events). These are explicit and unquestionable reminders of Archie’s goodness that, in a way, are also meant to redeem his more questionable choices. No other character is afforded such scenes with such frequency. While Betty and Jughead were out there trying to solve a mystery (and keep Jughead alive) Archie’s whole season 4 plot (that went absolutely nowhere) was a series of shirtless moral dilemmas (wherein he always chose wrong and then righted his choices). Archie was even afforded an indirect redemption arc for his choices in season 2 by means of the juvie/boxing storyline in season 3. Indirect is the key word here.

“I’m messed up, Veronica.”

“We all are, Archie. And, honestly, you less than most.”

(1x10)

Archie is not less messed up. His goodness is not solely character driven. Neither his intentions not their outcome are better than the intentions or the actions of other characters.

When Archie beats Dodger (who was about to flee anyway) up to the point that Darla cries “Stop! You’ll kill him!” he’s objectively not a Good Boi. Yet when Betty blackmails Donna out of profiting after having planned a lot of murders/attempted murders, she is a Very Unscrupulous Sleuth Indeed? Bitch, what?

There is just a very particular and consistent way in which Archie’s “grayness” is dissolved in Sweetwater River by the writers that simply does not apply to other characters. It’s a deliberate writing choice.

For some viewers this obviously works. For me, it just pisses me off.

Comic!Archie didn’t interest me much. Riverdale!Archie, however, actively annoys me.

It’s not because of the things he does per se. I might not like them, but, eh, I don’t particularly have a problem with them either. Everyone in Riverdale does questionable things. It’s because of the way the writers try to shove that double standard down my throat.

[geeky-politics-46]

I Thought You Didn't Like To Talk?

Loki/The West Wing FanFiction Crossover

Chapter 1 - "Loki Gets Put In Time Out"

Once again Mobius found himself walking the halls of the TVA with an incessant chattering behind him, like a yappy little puppy. Oh how he missed the days when Loki pretended he didn’t like to talk. Now he was luckily if he could get him to shut up for longer than 2 minutes at a time.

One of Loki’s favorite things to talk about was of course himself, & all of his fun tricks & exciting things he’d done. Well he found them fun & exciting. The people on the receiving end of them probably felt differently.

Loki was the king of the spin though. He could take any of his exploits, no matter how much betrayal & back stabbing it involved (& sometimes it did involve literal back stabbing), & somehow tell a version where he came out as the hero or at the very least an innocent bystander.

That was the part that most drove Mobius up a wall. He was constantly reminding Loki that spinning or embellishing stories relating to their cases could create real & dangerous problems. At the very least it could create a whole mess of paperwork & interoffice annoyance for Mobius to clean up.

“Are you mad? You seem a little mad? But you’re not mad at me right? Clearly my words were just misinterpreted by that pack of imbeciles, it was an ambush .” Loki offered in an attempt to diffuse the tension between Mobius & himself. Without a hint of hesitation he followed the TVA agent into one of the time theaters.

Mobius dropped the files he had been carrying on the small round table in the middle of the room & pulled a TemPad from his jacket pocket. He had finally decided a fitting way of dealing with Loki’s lose understanding of telling the truth & reluctance to play nice with others when speaking. He had created a little “time out” spot, where Loki’s bravado could be knocked down a peg or two.

Well, Mobius didn’t really create it himself per say. He had remembered a particular Earth television program that may just have the perfect spot. That part of working at the TVA was particularly fun. Snooping though lots of popular TV programs from throughout the universe; past, present, & future. However this particular show offered a special opportunity where Loki could talk & spin as much as he wanted, not knowing the push back he would be hit with. He was about to play deputy press secretary to one of the most important men on the planet Earth. For now though that part would stay Mobius’ little secret.

“Loki do you remember what I told you would happen next time I caught you lying or ‘embellishing’ as you like to call it?”

A puzzled look appeared on the god’s face, “something about getting a taste of my own medicine, but in all honesty after that I really stopped listening”.

A mischievous smirk now adorned Mobius’ face. This was gonna be so fun to watch. He pressed one last button on the TemPad while keeping his eyes locked on Loki’s. Suddenly an orange portal door appeared out of no where. Slowly Mobius moved to Loki’s side so he could face the time door as well.

A large smile suddenly appeared on his face, & without warning he pushed Loki forward & into the portal. Looking back at Mobius Loki saw him waving & fighting back laughter. Just as the time door began to transport to a different place & maybe even a different time Loki heard Mobius yell to him, “Well I hope you enjoy your time out!”:

The door quickly compressed down & disappeared. Mobius would go get him in a few hours, after he learned a little lesson about why it’s important to think before you speak.

Once he arrived back at his desk he was a bit concerned that he found himself actually excited to get some work done. He clicked on a little screen to left corner of his desk so he could keep an eye on Loki, & settled in to his paperwork. Exhaling into the peace & quiet.

————————————

As the orange time door faded Loki found himself surrounded by darkness. He had no idea where he was, or even when he was, or what could be lurking in the dark waiting for him. Surely Mobius wouldn’t send him somewhere truly dangerous. Right?

Loki put his hands out in front of him, feeling around for any clue as to where he might be. He slowly noticed noises coming from behind him & began turning in place to find it’s source. It sounded like… people. As he had finally honed in on the spot the sound was coming from, a bright white light suddenly flooded the room & all he could her was a woman’s scream. He grabbed the closest thing to him to aid in his defense.

His eyes began to adjust to the sudden influx of light & he began to realize where he was. This was a broom closet. He was standing in a broom closet; & to top it off the ‘weapon’ he grabbed was actually a mop. He was frozen to the spot, like a deer in headlights. Eyes wide & mouth agape. Half in shock, half in embarrassment.

He now stood face to face with the woman who had been screaming. She was lanky with porcelain skin & straight blonde hair, dressed in a light grey pant suit. She had one hand grasping the doorknob to the closet & the other clasped over her mouth. She & Loki just stood there, staring at each other. Both were too stunned to speak. Neither of them moved until a man began to walk through behind the woman. His head down & hands full of papers. His brown hair slightly disheveled & the sleeves of his white button down shirt rolled up to his elbows.

"Hey Donna, can you…. Oh hey, looks like you found him.” The man had now stopped in place & grinned widely, glancing back & forth between them. Without moving or even turning his head he tilted his chin up slightly & bellowed at the top of his lungs “C.J., DONNA FOUND HIM!”

Now that the silence had been broken, Loki hastily dropped the mop that he suddenly realized he was still holding. Quickly extending a hand & offering a tight smirk to the still slightly shaken blonde woman. “Ah, so you must be Donna. I’m Loki Laufeyson.” He said, using the name the man behind her had used. Hoping it would conceal that he still had absolutely no idea what was happening. “Um, yeah, hello”, she said softly & a little tentatively back to him, offering him the hand that no longer covered her mouth. A slight smile crossing her slowly relaxing face. “I’m his assistant”, she offered while quickly tilting her head back toward the slightly rumpled energetic man behind her.

Donna quickly stepped to the side & let Loki step out of the closet. As he straightened his shirt & tie, Loki realized the man that had been standing behind Donna was now talking directly to him & had begun walking away, gesturing & clearly expecting Loki to follow him. “Hey. I’m Josh. Josh Lyman. Deputy chief of staff.  So you’re the new guy huh? I’m guessing you must have gotten turned around trying to find C.J.’s office. She had us all out looking for ya. The bullpen isn’t that big, but I’m convinced they come in here at night & move things around when we aren’t here just to mess with us. Alright here we are, the office of the one & only Miss. Claudia Jean Cregg. Press secretary extraordinaire!”

Josh, apparently that was his name, had stopped walking & had gone silent. Loki assumed surely to catch his breath from saying so much in the short walk there. He gestured to the open door before them both. With that Josh swatted Loki on the back of the shoulder with the papers he still had in his hard, only now they were rolled up. Before Loki could thank him, Josh quickly spun on his heels & started walking the other direction, & once again began shouting down the hall.

Loki still didn’t know where in the world he was, but at least now he had a few names to work with. Josh Lyman, his assistant Donna, & C.J. Cregg.

Behind the dark stained heavy wooden desk in the center of the room sat a tall confident woman with shoulder length light brown hair with soft blonde highlights in a white button down shirt & navy blazer. Her narrow glasses perched on the end of her nose She briefly lifted he eyes from the legal pad she was writing on, peering over her glasses to the dumbstruck man in her doorway. “Sit” she said bluntly, lifting her pen & using it to point to the chair opposite her desk. “& close the door behind you”.

Her eyes & pen had now returned to the pad in front of her. Loki opened his mouth to speak, but before he could even get a sound out she lifted her hand & gestured for him to wait one minute. Loki did as he was told. He’d been here maybe 15 minutes & he had already discovered he was no longer the top of the totem pole. He noticed a goldfish swimming around in a bowl on the corner of C.J.’s desk & studied it for a moment. Even the fish looked like it knew more than he did.

“&… done.” C. J. announced & added the last punctuation mark to her work with extra emphasis. She placed her pen down on top of the legal pad before interlocking her fingers & letting her hands come to rest on her desk. She lifted her head up took off her glasses & looked at Loki. Her facial features had now shifted into a friendly well practiced smile.

“Glad you finally found me, & clearly from the sounds of it you already met Josh & Donna. You’ll be seeing a lot of them. Normally getting lost in a broom closet isn’t the best way to start your first day on a new job, but you certainly made an impression. Now let’s talk about what the duties of your job as White House deputy press secretary will be.”

Loki’s eyes widened & his mouth dropped open slightly, imitating the movements of C.J.’s goldfish. As he thought to himself, oh crap.

[fastlikealambo]

ok mer fam, let’s talk siren:

SAY SIKE RIGHT NOW SAY SIKE RIGHT FUCKING NOW IS MY MAIN POINT THROUGH THIS AN ENTIRE EPISODE.

honestly replace this scene with sex scene with the eyes on fire song and i’m just watching a repeat of vampire diaries. I’m fucking a chaos bi cryptid and I felt absolutely nothing looking at ben and ryn sushi each other

I could care less about chris and what’s wrong with him, they only bring him back for filler most of the time and how did  he go from not remembering who calvin was to doing a choreographed dance with him, the donna being free explanation was flakey.

xander fucking leveled up this season, literally one of the only things this season did right was giving him a moral compass.

so is maddie just like a work colleague  now because they barely included her in this cannon rescue scene only to end with her to  more or less  be the bad guy to ben and ryn. she was spitting straight facts but the way she talked to ryn was just not MADDIE. Even when she is upset with ryn, there’s always been a gentleness in her tone and it’s just...gone.

I’m going to say it:ben straight up manipulated ryn during the cells scene.  I don’t believe that was the last of the cells, he manipulated ryn to try and get her to keep them.even though they threw them out, I was disgusted with ben. 

this scene with tia and dead guy was boring and predictable. she’s so mean to her own kind what’s she gonna do if she wins this war?  it never works out in the end for dictators of any species.

SO NO ONE TOLD RYN YOU’RE NOT SUPPOSED TO WEAR WHITE TO A WEDDING. WE JUST GONNA SPEED PAST THAT ONE HUH

I know the point of these flashbacks were to show how ryn “didn’t belong” (which is bullshit btw, she was becoming her own person in bristol cove) but for me, it  kinda  looked like ryn was piecing together ben’s addiction to the song and how it was making him act in the present.

this wedding is hollow as fuck, they couldn’t be bothered to even get a scene of janine and calvin’s wedding vows to give them some sort of characterization?

what really pisses me off is that they took a maddie and ryn moment from earlier in the season where maddie explained to ryn the symbolism of wedding rings and gave that to bryn. ryn knows exactly what a wedding ring means,she proposed and he didn’t try to stop her or correct it. this is no longer the polymarine I know. 

i hope xander’s  going to survive. ALTHOUGH I’M SORRY WHAT MILLENNIAL ANSWERS A PHONE CALL FROM AN UNKNOWN NUMBER IN THE YEAR 2020. TIA BETTER LEARN HOW TO PUT HER SONG IN A TEXT SHE AIN’T GETTIN ME LIKE THAT

and this is where I attempt to talk through my anger:this show set up a healthy polyamorous relationship, one where problems were talked through,where careful loving affection between three people wasn’t portrayed as crude or morally deviant. there wasn’t a big coming out reveal, they were just together. 

all couples go through trials and tribulations but this was a chance to normalize a poorly underrepresented pairing and in the span of eight episodes they have absolutely ruined it MADDIE WASN’T EVEN SITTING NEXT TO THEM AT THE WEDDING. what does they say about real life  queer poly couples? ”sorry but only two of you are really in love, the rest are just clinging on until something else deigns to look at you?”  

I’m usually okay ship whatever you want but there have multiple articles,interviews saying that this was a canon couple,a canon couple to be treated with respect. if this season ends the way I think it will,all that will be left is disrespect and a bland romance that this show wasn’t built on which made me tune in the first place.

and the fact that yet another woc lead has been pushed to the side for white leads is bringing me to tears a little bit, I’m not going to lie. I know it’s just a tv show but as a black woman it stings just a little bit harder to see a vibrant lead of color barely present. like let’s be real as we begin to wrap up the season:aside from her subplot romance with robb, what are the other season defining moments has maddie had? because I can name a least five moments for ryn and ben. maddie bishop is a hero in her own right and deserves to be in every major moment, and that’s final. and the fact that the writers have seemingly began to listen to the racism in the siren fandom ( not really here but mostly twitter and facebook) and removed her from most of the action is really disturbing to me. to be blunt,I was positive towards the end of the episode that it was going to be maddie bleeding out on the floor for white pain. 

I fucking love Siren, it has some of the best lore on tv, I don’t feel like a creepy adult watching a teen drama, and I’ve been a fan of this show since the trailer aired.  I’m just so spent. where do we go from here? if this show gets renewed (which I want more than anything), how will it continue? only time will tell.

like i’m not trying to be a hater but like where do we go from here? anyway, I hope anything I wrote made some sense, it’s been a long day and maybe I’m way off base but this is how I feel in the moment. 

[eak8753]

“You Made Your Decision”

They had always been a duo. They always knew each other like no other. The two birds of the team; Raven and Robin

Everyone on the team could see it. The bond between the two of them became all the more noticeable when he went to hell for her. Cyborg and Beast Boy were wary; Cyborg thought of Raven as a sister and would never want harm to befall her, she was already hurt too much. Beast Boy had seen first hand what it was like when she was heart broken, they had been each other’s biggest ally’s after Terra and Malchior, helping one another through the heart break.

Starfire hadn’t seen it at first. She just assumed Robin and was being nice, being a friend to Raven. Although she often wondered why he had been the one to go to hell for their friend. It had made the most sense for her or Cyborg to go, but instead Robin had gone. It had taken years after her and the Titan’s leader’s break up to understand that he had been in love with his fellow bird.

It was subtle at first, he had always found Raven attractive but it wasn’t until Tokyo that he knew that he was hopelessly in love with her. However, at this point he was already with Starfire, he knew that the two of them wouldn’t last, so he would wait out the relationship. It was a cowardly move, yes, but he would not hurt his alien friend’s feelings. Plus, Raven had always been a bit slow when it came to emotions, she probably didn’t even realize what was between them.

She knew. She knew before Cyborg or Beast Boy. Before Robin and far before Starfire. Raven knew how she felt, she was never one to lie to herself, and she knew that Robin felt the same. She was, after all, an empath. But he was with Starfire; he had made his decision and she would give him the opportunity to make it again, just not now.

Yes, they had always been a duo. Always knew each other like no other. The two birds of the team; Raven and Robin

Well, now Raven and Nightwing.

He had gone away. Bruce had called him back because the media was getting angsty and thought that Dick had gone missing or was killed. That had been almost a year ago, but now he was back. His absence didn’t have a huge effect on the team. The Titans Tower had been a popular spot for meta’s and supernatural teens/youth to crash. Although the original team still remained they did have a few constant visitors; Donna Troy/Wonder Girl, Wally West/Kid Flash and Jinx, Jericho, and Argent to name a few. 

Another hero who visited constantly was Zachary Zatara. He was Zatanna’s little cousin and was a very skilled magician for his age. He had immediately taken a liking towards the empath and they often practiced magic together. He would invite her to his shows but she rarely came, preoccupied with something else.

It had been like this for years now. Everyone had grown accustomed to each other’s fighting styles and if one was to leave they could easily fill them in with another hero.

So no, the team’s fighting was affected by his absence but they did miss him. And he missed them. He decided that it would be fun if he surprised them. So he had taken the two hour flight from Gotham to Jump without their knowledge, got a cab from the airport to drop him off near a cafe and hauled his luggage the rest of the way. In hindsight, he probably should have called.

Once he entered the common room, two things happened. One, he was bombarded with hugs and “I missed you” “look who’s back” and other welcoming phrases. Two, Raven wasn’t there. If he was an adolescent he may have scolded himself over looking for her, but he knew now that he loved her and didn’t deny himself the simple pleasure of seeking her out.

“Hey guys, I missed you all too. It’s good to be back” he smiled up at his team, feeling the happiness radiating off of them. 

“So uh, where’s everyone else?” They knew immediately that he didn’t actually care where everyone else was. He cared about where Raven was, and they couldn’t help but cringe at their leaders' words. They knew, eventually he would come back and he would find out, they had just always assumed Raven would be here to tell him herself.

“She’s uh” Cyborg stepped in, trying to think of a place we’re the sorceress could be.

“Park” “Library” “Cafe” Dick heard them all say simultaneously, he could hear the guilt in each of their voices. What he couldn’t understand is why? Where could she possibly be that would make him upset. Wha-

Suddenly the doors to the common room opened revealing a young man with a tux and white gloves on, a young woman in a knee length dress covered in lilac lace. Her sleeves were elbow length and she had on a pair of silver heels. Half her hair was pinned up to the middle of her head and the other half down, a few pieces of hair around her face to frame it. 

The most disturbing thing about the picture however was the fact that the two of them were holding hands, while the boy smirked and the girl gave a slight smile. 

Dick knew that smile, it was the smile that she gave when she found something interesting or was in awe. The smile she gave when someone said something amusing. The smile she gave when she was appreciative. The smile she gave when she was at ease; the smile she had always given him, and only him.

Zachary and Raven entered the common room, quickly looking over they’re friends faces and as she saw him, her smile faded a bit. 

What was she doing holding Zachary Zatara’s hand? Didn’t she know that his cousin wanted her dead. And more importantly, she was supposed to be in love with him.

“Dick” Zachary said, surprise and amusement in his voice. “It’s good to have you back man” he said, noticing his gaze wasn’t in him. In his defense, he couldn’t take his eyes off Raven, she looked absolutely stunning and he had never seen her in a dress before. But where in the nine levels of hell was she and why was she with Zachary.

“Richard” she said, her voice monotone and cool; controlled. “Raven” he said in the same voice. Before he knew it though, he was pulled in a light hug by the small girl, and she gave a sigh. “Welcome back” her breathy voice said next to his ear, and he smiled as he returned the hug, basking in her warmth. All too suddenly though, she pulled away.

“When did you get back” she asked, and he was faintly aware of the guilt in her voice. “A few moments ago” he responded, and he was sure that his cheeks were lightly dusted in pink; it really wasn’t fair that she looked that good in a dress.

“You should have called, we would have picked you up” Zachary called, moving towards Raven once again. This snapped him out of his staring and he realized, for the second time that night, he didn’t know where she had been.

“Where were you guys anyway?” He said nonchalantly. His eyes were scanning her face, trying to see if there was anything he could pick up. Alas, she wasn’t called the “Ice Queen” for nothing.

“I had a show,” Zachary told him. Well that explained him being gone, but it didn’t explain Raven’s absence. Or why they were holding hands. Or why she was wearing a dress.

“And my presence was all but demanded” he heard her voice, the amusement evident in it.

“Yes, well” Zachary came around and turned her towards him, fully encircled her waist. “Forgive me for wanting to show off my breath-taking girlfriend” he said, leaning down to peck her lips.

“Girlfriend?” Dick asked. He mustn’t have heard them right, there was no way. Raven was in love with him, and he her. Sure they had never kissed, but he had kind of confessed before he left, he knew she understood what it stood for.

Turning towards Batman’s oldest son, the magician grinned. “Yeah, I finally plucked up the courage to ask her about 4 months ago.”

Four month. They had been in a relationship for 4 months and he didn’t know. He hadn’t really had a chance to call them while he was away, but had kept up with the news and knew of all of their battles; just as he knew they had kept up with the media and knew all about “Dick Grayson’s Return.”

Never had he thought any of their personal lives would have changed that much, least of all Raven’s. She didn’t like change and avoided it at all costs, it was only natural for him to assume that she wouldn’t have made such a drastic decision; that she would have waited.

Mumbling a quick excuse he left the common room to get some much needed rest. They would talk in due time, but for now he just wanted to wallow in his self pity. 

***

It had been a few days since his return and he had yet been able to get Raven alone. He sighed in his cup of coffee. He had just come back from patrol and had a couple of cuts along his body, not many and certainly not enough to warrant any attention but they still hurt.

However, no amount of physical pain could ever be equal to the hurt that the hole in his heart caused. He didn’t understand, she was supposed to be with him. They had been in this game of “will they, won’t they” for years. He thought once he came back they would finally be together but...

The sound of footsteps broke him out of his thoughts. He knew those footsteps, they were hers. 

“Raven” he said as she entered. She nodded towards him and made her way to the kettle, filling it with water. She was in her uniform; her classic blue cloak and a black catsuit. She turned around to face him, her back leaning on the counter. She looked tired but happy.

She looked beautiful 

“How have you been?” She asked, running a hand through her hair. He wondered what it would feel like to run his fingers through it, but he pushed those thoughts aside. 

“Fine” he grunted. He would have been better if it didn’t feel like he had been stabbed repeatedly; but hey, he had dealt with heartbreak before. ‘Not like this’ he thought.

“You're mad” she stated. Sighing she turned towards the kettle that started screaming and poured the water into a mug, adding a teabag when she was finished. Lastly she added some honey and turned back to him, one eyebrow raised.

“I’m not mad” he started off. “I just, I don't get it Raven. I thought you loved me.”

“I did”

“So then why? Why Zachary? Why ruin what we have?” He didn’t understand, sure he had relationships even though he was in love with him - Starfire case and point. But that was when she was unattainable, when he had just realized his feelings for her. It was different now, they were adults, not confused teenagers.

 “16 Dick. That’s how long we’ve been in love. That was when we went to Tokyo, when you kissed Kori, when you found out you loved me.” 

He was stunned, he really thought she didn’t know how he felt until last year when he had semi confessed to her. Empath. She had known, for all these years, felt everything he had. Yet, she chose him, even after she knew how he felt about her, she chose him.

“Did you really think I was gonna wait forever?” 

“Huh” came his intelligent reply.

“It’s been four years Dick, you made your decision. You made it all those years ago when you kissed Star in Tokyo, re-made it when you held her hand in front of the world.”

“I thought that once you two broke up we could be together, but then you went to Gotham. You made your decision again.” She knew this conversation was necessary but she really wished it could have been had when she hadn’t just woken up and yet to mediate.

“I had no choice, Bruce needed me and I couldn’t just leave him hanging-” No matter how much I wanted to be with you, he wished he could add, but she didn’t give him the chance.

“Did you have no choice in getting involved with Barbara? Did Bruce need you for that too? You made your choice Dick, whether it was the right one or not you made it.” She said so quietly he strained his ears listening.

“Well what was I supposed to do? We couldn’t be together at the time and the media ate it up. Sure, I had feelings for her  but they’re nothing compared to the ones I have for you.” He pleaded with her, trying to show her his side. 

“Look Dick, I know now that we can’t be together; never could”

“But we can be, we could have been if you hadn’t got together with Zachary. If you had-“

“Shawn” her voice broke. “What” he asked. What did she have to do about this, they had been together for less than two weeks. 

“I thought the reason you didn’t tell me about your feelings after yours and Kori’s breakup was because you were embarrassed to be seen with me.”

“Even if I could do the heels and dresses, I would never be accepted by high society. I’m not tall or undeniably beautiful; not like Star or Babs. But then you got with Shawn and I knew that no matter how much you loved me or how much I loved you, we could never be together.” She slightly screamed, but did Raven ever scream. She looked to be on the verge of tears and he just wanted to wrap her in his arms and  tell her everything was gonna be okay.

But they weren’t, things had become so strained between them, he didn’t know if they could be fixed; but he hoped, oh god he hoped they could.

“So when Zachary asked me out, I said yes. He’s loved me almost as long as you have, he just did something about it first. Yeah, I gave up on ‘us’ first, but you drove me to that point. I wasn’t going to wait forever Richard.” 

“Do you love him?” He swallowed, he didn’t want to know the answer but he had to ask.

“No” she shook her head. “I don’t love him, and he knows that. But I like him, oh Azar, I really, really like him Richard. He's amazing and patient and funny and a little flashy and cocky but in an enduring way.” She rambled, and he let her, for although he loved her and every word she spoke was a stab to the heart, she was still his friend first and foremost. He would pretend to be happy for her, even if he was dying on the inside.

Speak of the devil and he shall arrive, Zachary walked into the kitchen, hair and shirt disheveled. Grumbling he walked up the sorceress and pecked her on the cheek, grabbing the mug from her hands and taking a sip from the tea. Sighing in contentment he turned to go make a proper breakfast.

“Toast or waffles?” He asked the mage. “Waffles” she said without missing a beat, excitement in her eyes. The magician chuckled at her expression and taped her on the nose lightly. 

He loved moments like these, moments where he didn’t have to be “Zachary: Teen Magician.” Sure he loved performing, but he would be happy to just sit and read with the dark girl. He still couldn’t believe she was his, after years of silently pinning after her, she was his.

Turning around he addressed the Titans leader, nodding towards him. He knew of their history, more than Raven thought he did. It was one of the reasons he had been  so shocked when she said yes, but she had and he made sure that she didn’t regret it everyday they spent together.

“I have to meditate, I’ll be done in an hour and after breakfast I have to go into town and pick up a few things” she said to both of them.

“I’ll come” Zachary insisted, and surprisingly she didn’t put too much of a fight, he assumed whatever had happened between her and Dick had taken a lot of her emotionally. He made a mental note to check up on her as he watched her retreating form.

“You know” he said to the acrobat. “You May have been the one to go to hell for her. But don’t think for a second you’re the only one willing to.”

“Excuse me” the leader supplied.

“I know you love her, but so do I” with that he turned back to making breakfast.

The Titans leader just found himself nodding towards the magician before leaving for his room.

As he entered he leaned his head against the door, feeling the tears underneath his eyelids. He smiled a bit sadly. 

She may be taken at the moment, but they had been friends since they were 14. They had their whole lives ahead of them to get together; they had time.

[dilfdoctordoom]

What do the JL think of Bette? Specifically Barry, Hal, Clark, Arthur, Ollie, and Diana

I very much love that you included two of my favourite characters here.

Barry:

Bette spent many of her formative years in Gotham, so you can bet your ass that this girl is ACAB

Now, I don’t know if you’ve been called a bastard by a thirteen-year-old in a red dress, but Barry Allen has

Life-altering experience

He spends an hour asking Bruce what he did wrong, why does Bat-Girl hate him? He hasn’t even spoken to her yet what could he have done

And Bruce just... the fun explanation that she hates all cops. Instantly. Oh you’re a CSI that must be fun, it doesn’t matter, it’s already on sight for you

Like, okay, in Gotham? Pretty much every cop is dirty. Gordon, Montoya & Bullock are the only ones that Bette knows aren’t & she still doesn’t really trust them

So she’s not gonna be particularly nice to Barry Allen & Bruce literally has to tell her to behave

(Kathy is very amused by it all)

There’s a moment where Barry thinks she just hates speedsters, but then she & Wally seem to be getting on great. Like, Kid Flash is awesome, cool fast guy. Flash is a cop & therefore she cannot trust him

Bat-Girl: I can respect you as a hero but I do not like you as a person

So, yeah, Barry’s, uh, iffy on her. He’s sure she’s a great hero & she seems nice to the others, but he’d really rather not work with her, even when she’s Flamebird/Hawkfire. Especially when she’s Flamebird/Hawkfire, then she’s got tasers & flamethrowers

Hal:

Very different from how she interacts with Barry

Mainly because she first meets Hal after Kathy’s died & she goes to Coast City as part of her whole ‘run away from her emotions’ thing

She’s always loved the beach & Coast is supposed to be so nice. Plus, they’ve got Green Lantern; they’re not gonna need her to suit up, are they?

And then there’s an incident with Manhunters & like, Hal’s got this handled, no doubt about it, but also, Bette is impulsive & has a massive hero complex & yes she does suit up & help out. She does it because it’s right, because she’s angry, just because

But Hal kinda freaks out? Because she’s a kid and yeah, that might fly in Gotham where Batman can keep an eye on her, but oh god, what if he was fighting Sinestro? That’s low key terrifying to him, he doesn’t wanna put a kid in danger

He’s still good with kids. Like, that’s canon, he’s just good with them. So he & Bette do get along & after he gets over the initial ‘please do not fight mass murdering robots you need adult supervision & idk if I qualify for that’, they do actually spend time together!

Mainly because Hal isn’t too comfortable letting a teenage vigilante who just experienced a massive lost be alone & honestly? He’s right. Like, Kathy has just died & Bette threw herself into an extremely dangerous fight... red flags all around, my dudes

So they do work together while she’s in Coast. She only stays a few weeks before she moves on, but she does kinda like Green Lantern?

And the feeling’s mutual. They don’t really keep in contact but Hal keeps an eye on the news to make sure she’s okay & not, uh, dead

They don’t actually meet face to face until a dumb Justice League party years later & then they discover that Bruce finds Hal annoying... he finds the concept of Bette & Hal even being acquaintances annoying... he’s given them the ultimate weapon. Bruce Wayne goes grey earlier and it’s because Hal & Bette spend an entire night pretending that they went on a massive space adventure, full of danger & peril, solely to drive up his blood pressure

Hal doesn’t look into her identity all that much, but thinks she’s fun. Anyone who annoys Bruce for fun is cool in his book

(And I know this is supposed to focus on his feelings about her but consider: Bette meets the Green Lantern of Coast City & he lets her stay in his shitty rundown apartment. Everything that can go wrong for him seems to, but he’s still there, making jokes and saving people and doing the right thing. His willpower keeps him going, even on the darkest of nights and maybe, just maybe, Bette’s stubbornness picked up a little bit of inspiration for somebody along the way)

(And maybe, maybe, she joins the fight against Parallax and realizes just how far her heroes can fall)

Clark:

Um, well, I absolutely headcanon that Clark gave Bette the name Flamebird. Like, told her the story, made a series of not-so-subtle mentions that she should take up the name...

So, yes, Clark knows Bette

She’s Bruce’s cousin, after all, and he’s his best friend. Of course, their paths would cross, especially with how often Clark seemed to work with Batman & Robin when they first started out

He’s worked with her a lot when she’s Bat-Girl & every single time, Bette is starstruck because oh my god, that’s Superman, she’s talking to Superman, she’s working with Superman

He tells her the legend of Nightwing & Flamebird when she’s a kid & she loves the concept of Flamebird. She’s only twelve at the time, but something about it clicks with her

And when she gives up on being Bat-Girl, but is still determined to be a hero, he suggests Flamebird

(Bette absolutely tears up at this)

They don’t really work together when she gets older, except on big, world ending disasters that require the entire Justice League’s attention, but he still sends her one of Ma Kent’s apple pies for the holidays

Clark’s just the cool uncle from when was younger

She stills freaks out a little every time he talks to her, though

She’s never gonna get over knowing Superman

Arthur:

It took me a while to think about this but, yes, Arthur likes Bette

Mainly because Bette is a friend of La’gaan’s. That’s pretty much how he knows her

He doesn’t even know she’s a part of the Batfamily for years, because she’s always seen with the Titans

So, like, he doesn’t really know her that much, but she’s a good friend to one of his sidekicks & La’gaan’s already made passing mentions to crashing at her & Gar’s place, so. Yeah. She got Aquaman’s seal of approval

Though Arthur is always gonna be entertained by how much teasing Flamebird is allowed to get away with. Most of the League may not be aware of her Special Cousin Privilages, he isn’t either, but it’s absolutely hilarious to see her tear into Batman at random

11/10, good friend to La’gaan, very entertaining. Would be better if she could keep a goldfish alive

Ollie:

Okay, so, Ollie is, like, shown to be nicer to the younger heroes, Kyle excluded because he’s dating his son, so she’s gonna be nice to her. Or, at least, Ollie nice. Hm.

He thinks she’s way too small when she first starts out because even when she’s eleven, Bette still looks like she’s nine, but she’s got two heroes looking out for her & with a kid sidekick of his own, he’s not in a place to judge

Aside from one poor team-up between Green Arrow & Speedy and Batwoman & Bat-Girl, where Ollie & Kathy absolutely butted heads, oh my god, they’d hate each other, he didn’t see much of her. He works in Star, she works in Gotham, when are their paths gonna cross

While she works less with most Leaguers the older she gets, she actually ends up working more with Ollie when she’s older

Mainly ‘cause she’s friends with Roy & Cass may be friends with Connor, but that doesn’t mean she can drive so sometimes she’ll get Bette to bring her to Star

Which is honestly what Ollie knows her most as: Batgirl’s older sister who’ll lend a hand whenever she’s in Star

She’s good with kids, efficient & a little showy, but he really can’t judge that last part. Got Roy & Dinah’s stamp of approval, though, & that goes a long way with him

They never, like, exclusively work together, but she’s good to call on in an emergency

He did do a double take when she called Deathstroke ‘uncle’ though because... well, look, at Flamebird. Now look at Deathstroke. Do you see his confusion? It only grows when Slade lets out the most exasperated sigh, mutters something about how he wishes he could kill her without Addie getting mad, and then Bette sticks her tongue out to him & makes some joke about the shitshow he married into

Well. At least his family will never involve Deathstroke

Diana:

Diana gave Bette the shovel talk

This is when DonnaBette is happening & close to figuring out each other’s identities & probably the biggest hint for Bette is Wonder Woman flying down to tell her that if she breaks Wonder Girl’s heart, she’ll have her to answer to

So. Diana’s first impression of Bette is Flamebird having an anerysm on a rooftop in Gotham because she just realized she’s dating Wonder Girl

The absolute dumbassary of DonnaBette, unparalled

Diana likes Bette, thinks she’s probably a great person, but it is her legal job as Donna’s big sister to make it clear that if anything happens to her baby sister, it means war

They end up meeting later, after Donna & Bette have had their mutual break-up, when Diana is working with Kate & Bette is still unable to form a full sentence. Wonder Woman oh my god, oh my god, her brain doesn’t work that’s actual literal Wonder Woman oh my go-

Bruce did later let it slip that after the Maxwell Lord incident, Bette was 100% on Wonder Woman’s side, which she honestly didn’t expect, but eh. Bette’s not as big on the whole no killing as her cousin

Diana mainly knows Bette in the capacity of her being Donna’s girlfriend

Definitely prefers her to some of Donna’s other partners ie Terry because I don’t csre what anyone says, that relationship was trash & I will not pretend that miss Diana Prince was okay with her nineteen-year-old sister dating a divorcee in his thirties that was also her professor

[nellie-elizabeth]

Supernatural: Despair (15x18)

I'm having an out of body experience, I cannot believe this. Last night was legitimately one of the weirdest nights of my life, and not just because of *gestures broadly* but also because of *gestures broadly* and myriad other small but still totally bizarre personal things coming at me from all angles... strap in, y'all, I've got some shit to say.

Cons:

We're gonna talk about it. Ohhhh, we're gonna talk about it. But let's start with some other shit before we get there.

So... are we ignoring "Dean was willing to let Jack sacrifice himself" or something? Like there was that moment with Sam and Dean where they talked about it, and Dean apologizes for pulling a gun on Sam, and Sam is like "oh it's okay Dean, no worries." But at the beginning of this episode, Dean seems to be just as worried for Jack, and as protective of him, as the others, with absolutely no acknowledgment of what happened in the last episode. This... should have mattered. There should have been some regrouping and some serious talks about this. Seriously.

The Thanos snap thing... guys, when Infinity War did it in 2018, it was kind of fun and shocking and cool, and we knew the deaths wouldn't be permanent but it was still wild to watch our heroes react to such an immense loss and then leave us all in limbo for a year. This... is not that. The sheer tone-deafness of having this episode contain a moment of domesticity for AU!Charlie and her cool egg-making girlfriend Stevie, only to have Stevie vanish... and then to end the episode with the biggest queer-bait/bury your gays moment imaginable... like...

Okay, sorry, no, saving the Destiel thing until I've sorted out the rest of this nonsense. The point is, seems pretty clear that the deaths in this episode (other than Cas') are temporary, and Supernatural already has the biggest power creep problem of any show I've ever seen... they really couldn't think of another way to up the stakes for the ending, other than doing the thing where everyone gets killed? Didn't... Crowley... already do this to them several seasons back? Am I hallucinating? There's nothing new under the sun with this show.

Why does this show introduce things and resolve them in a single episode? Like, big, huge things? We just figured out Death was trying to double-cross them, and now by the end she's dead? This show either limps along and does nothing, or speeds through plot stuff at lightning-speed. These last two episodes were big and dramatic and full of Plot but in a way where it all feels kind of unreal. Pacing issues like whoa.

And speaking of. Ahem. Okay. Let's... let's do this. I have some things about the Destiel scene that I'm going to put in the "pros" section below, and hopefully as you read on you'll understand why it's really hard for me to be black and white about it. If I had to, if I had to determine whether I am "happy" or "sad" or "grateful" or "angry" I'd say... sad and angry, 97%? Like? Let's dive in, here.

Setting aside the larger context, a couple of smaller notes:

Acting-wise, what the fuck was Jensen doing in this scene? Misha was acting his whole heart out and Jensen gave him nothing to play off of. I don't understand how Jensen accidentally played Dean so obviously in love with Cas all this time, and then in this moment, no-homo'd it so fucking hard. Even the stage directions in the script page that was floating around said that Dean didn't reciprocate. That's dumb, like, in a shipping sense it's disappointing, but also... Dean, what was your face doing while Cas gave his whole monologue about how amazing you are? What a great and loving man you are? Even if he hadn't ended the whole thing by saying "I love you" and then dying right in front of your eyes, surely you would have been feeling some kind of way about the whole situation?

Also, the scene was shot so awkwardly, there was too much space between them, and then Cas pushes Dean out of the way and he just sits there on the floor with Pikachu-face while The Empty opens up and takes Death and Cas away, making these weird shocked noises... Supernatural often has awkward pacing when dramatic things are happening in action scenes, where certain people have to stand still like it's not their turn on the initiative order in a D&D fight or something, and this was one of the more embarrassing and awkward examples of that.

Cas' deal with The Empty has not been brought up practically since it happened. Cas has been sidelined as a character a lot this season, the past couple seasons, really, but we had this hanging over our heads, right? When Cas says "I've figured it out, true happiness isn't in having, it's just in saying it", the moment doesn't really work on a character level, because we didn't get to see Cas do any of that figuring out. We didn't know he was curious about his true happiness, we didn't know it was an internal struggle/debate for him, wondering what it could be. A lot of Destiel people wanted it to be Dean confessing his love to Cas, and that being the true happiness... but of course that would never happen in a million years. Others thought it would be "yay we defeated the big evil, we can all be a happy family together," oh snap, I'm too happy, goodbye. Which would have been... weirdly anticlimactic, but at least would have made some level of narrative sense. This idea that telling Dean how he feels would bring Cas peace is... well, it's okay, it's fine in isolation, but there's no buildup to it, no tension to his moment of "realization."

And now to fry some bigger fish...

Let's forget about the fact that we never thought this would happen to begin with. Is it actually... worse that it did? Seriously, queer angel man confesses his love to stoic human man who stands there without making a single expression, and the act of confessing said love, knowing it's not reciprocated, knowing he won't get to be with Dean or even be near him ever again, is enough to make Castiel so truly happy that he's willing to die peacefully and forever, all in the act of saving Dean's life? Is that not... like... textbook homophobia? People toss around "bury your gays" a lot and I think what they're missing is that the trope doesn't automatically apply just because a queer character dies. It means a queer character dies because of their queerness, or they are revealed to be queer but can't get any measure of happiness and then they die immediately. This is textbook that. The act of confessing his GAY LOVE is what KILLED CAS. It's a one-to-one sequence of events. It's not a coincidence that Cas died right after saying this. Saying this is what made him die. That's... appalling. Truly, in a very real sense, it's appalling.

Another thing I haven't seen people talk about much is the manufactured nature of this sacrifice. We just found out Billie was going to turn on them at the end of the last episode. If Cas was going to die in a sacrifice-y way, did it have to happen now when Billie was basically just knocking on the door trying to get at Dean for a last-minute revenge thing, even though Billie was already at death's door? This was so contrived, like, can Cas not whoosh them away to somewhere else? Keep them running until Billie succumbs? I get that it wouldn't have been easy, and maybe Billie could have caught up to them anyway, but my point is, they manufactured this moment to be "the only way" that Dean could survive, making Cas' sacrifice so noble and necessary or whatever... but I was sitting there thinking there's got to be another way. If they'd wanted to write in another way, there could have been. The inevitability felt so very contrived. And, as mentioned, the impact of dying on this show has lost all meaning, so even Billie trying to kill Dean, squeezing his heart in his chest, did absolutely nothing for me. I knew he'd be fine, because there are two more episodes left. And if Cas hadn't been there to do what he did, Dean would still have been fine because he's Dean. Am I making any sense?

We have two more episodes left. I am... fairly confident Misha won't be in those episodes. All context, both within the show and without, points to that. I truly think that after all this time, he gets the only ending in the whole show that's unambiguously unsalvageable and tragic. We have a world where the afterlife exists and people can hang out there, but The Empty is a different beast, and this means Cas is... gone. Permanently. Like, his consciousness no longer exists, he's caput. They could bring him back from The Empty, in fact, they've already done it once... but if they decide not to, that's just... where we leave things, and that's brutal and unnecessarily grim. The other characters, even if we get an end-of-show TPK (which would be STUPID, more on that later), could at least have canon or implied-canon reunions in the afterlife. If we don't see Eileen again, we can get the implied ending of her coming back to life, or Sam dying and joining her in Heaven. Same with Charlie, with Charlie's new girlfriend, with Bobby, with Donna, with every other character that's died along the way, including Mary Winchester and OG Charlie, OG Bobby, whatever you want. The fact that Cas gets this, after everything, is truly the part I'm the most sad about, setting aside love confessions entirely.

So as I said, two more episodes. I'm worried that Cas dying is gonna get swallowed up with everyone dying and not get its due, thus making the confession completely isolated. Like, here you go, gays, have this one scene, which, in isolation is quite heartfelt from Cas' perspective, but can be carefully boxed up and not touched for the last two hours of the show. If they don't want to touch on how this would affect Dean specifically, they don't have to. He can be generally angsty and sad about Cas, but they could get away with never bringing it up again, and that is some grade-A level bullshit right there, my friends. At minimum, Dean needs to tell Sam about this. He probably won't, but he should, if the show has any sense of integrity left in its bones.

Ahem. Like I said, I have... lots of thoughts. More on Destiel later, but let's turn to the "Pros" section and talk about some other aspects of this incredibly crowded episode.

Pros:

Despite my issues with everything that didn't get resolved re: Dean letting Jack die, I did kind of like the "to somehow" scene, because it was a nice little breather for the brothers, it solidified them as being on the same side to the bitter end, that despite all the crazy shit they've been through, that they've put each other through, they'll have this as a bedrock at the end of the day. I'm not a brothers-only sort of fan, at all, in fact, I think a brothers-only ending betrays most of what's beautiful about this show in its good moments. But they are the stars, they are the protagonists, they should be the center of their own story, and I like it when we get check-ins like this, that shows how unshakable they are underneath all the other crap.

Charlie and Stevie... okay, cute that their names are like that, cute that Charlie said: "I liked the way she handled herself" and that's how they got together... eggs are cute, whatever... and if these deaths are impermanent, which... come on... they have to be, I do like that Charlie gets to have a girlfriend and be happy as a hunter and as someone's partner.

I liked the tense car ride with Sam texting Eileen, with Dean, Jack, and Cas all silent in the car with him... that was a nice moment of solidarity, all of them entirely on the same page about being there for Sam and helping Eileen however they could... even knowing the futility. What were they going to do when they got there? That was a great tension-building moment, in isolation, even though the deaths are likely temporary.

Cas and Jack's talk was good, I'll admit I've definitely been won over by Cas and Sam as Jack's dads... Dean too, once upon a time, but dude needs to do some groveling before he gets to be Dad again, seriously. It's nice that in the midst of all the chaos, there was a check-in moment. Jack is the embodiment of a lot of our end-game themes, here. He had a noble destiny to sacrifice himself, and then it fizzled out and didn't work, and now he's just left in the aftermath, not sure what to do with himself. It was important that Cas tell him that Jack is worthy of love and family, even if he's not "useful" in the way he thought he could be. Definitely nice to have that nailed in.

If we're following the Infinity War/Endgame line, the last two episodes will be majority Sam, Dean, and Jack, but at the last moment there will be a way to reverse it, and everyone else will come back in a moment of triumph. But probably not so much Castiel, which... well... see above complaints. The point is, seeing Charlie, Bobby, Donna, Eileen, etc. all burst forth for one final moment of glory could be really cool, if they manage to stick the landing with it. It'll be an incredibly manufactured sense of triumph and nostalgia, but it will probably work on me because it's been... guys, I don't know if you know this, but it's been kind of an emotional year. :)

I will say, working under the assumption that the dead characters will come back, I'm actually oddly... not mad about Donna dying. It was actually a legitimately shocking twist. A rule was set up: if a person had died before and been resurrected, or if a person was from another universe, they could be Thanos snapped by Billie. Makes sense. Sam and Dean are in danger because of all their deaths, Jack and Cas aren't safe for the same reason. Charlie, Bobby, Eileen... sure. But Donna should have been safe, given the parameters we started with.

And then Dean and Cas are confronting Billie, she says she's not killing anyone, we realize it must be Chuck... and then Donna, who isn't from another world, who has never died... GONE. I gasped.

And the hits kept coming... Billie is dying because Dean killed her with that small wound, and didn't even know it. That's another excellent twist. The past two episodes, back to back, have kept me on my toes about who to ultimately be afraid of. Chuck? Billie? The Empty? It's so much better than this slow march to Chuck vs. Sam and Dean that we've been getting all season, even if we do loop around to Chuck again as the final Big Bad.

The Empty is actually quite a complex, interesting idea for a villain, this entity that doesn't get involved in petty squabbles, doesn't have personal vendettas, but actually just wants to sleep and be left alone. Having Meg be the Empty's face here at the end is also a nice touch. I wish we could have had more of this, truthfully, and I'm curious how The Empty will play a role in how things shake out, if at all.

So... I want to go back to something I've been saying these past couple episodes, about how if this show has a grimdark ending, it will be a betrayal of everything they've set up. It will be so stupid that my anger will manifest in yet another round of hysterical giggles. What I suspect is that we'll get something peaceful, something where trauma will linger but people will get to start anew. Maybe Jack creates a new world outside of Chuck's power. Maybe Sam and Dean take over as God and the Darkness, as some people suggested, and Jack is the new Death. Maybe maybe maybe. Bottom line, I could be satisfied with the majority of this ending, and I can even (obliquely, reluctantly) understand that they wanted one final perma-death to really make the stakes feel higher. If they aren't killing off the Winchesters, that leaves Castiel. So what I'm saying in this paragraph is basically that I'm not guaranteed to despise the ending of this show yet. They could still get it right.

God, that sounds pretty bleak, doesn't it?

Before I end this, I want to talk about, as promised, the few Destiel-related points that I'd classify as "pros", albeit with a big asterisk.

First off, Misha clearly found the moment very cathartic, and he pulled out all the stops, and, in isolation, the confession was hella romantic and quite poignant. Without context, just reading these lines? "The one thing I want, it's something I know I can't have" and "because you cared, I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, I cared about the whole world because of you..." like, that's some premium content, I won't lie. I also kind of enjoy the idea that Cas finds happiness in saying the words out loud, in being true to who he is. I hate a lot about what happened to Cas here, but if Cas' arc, in its totality, is about embracing humanity, and Dean is the anchor to that, this really does come full circle. He pulled Dean out of Hell, he saved him, he loved him, he'll die for him, and in accepting that love, that human love, he is finally at peace with who he is. Now, mind my comments above, I'm still not happy, but I can see how in one sense, this is narratively poignant. And if others are satisfied with it, I'm happy for them.

(Added bonus, while Jensen's acting was WACK for the majority of that scene, I did like the ending shot, the silence, him not answering Sam's call, crying silently into his hands. That was very nicely shot and acted, I thought.)

Secondly, and this isn't actually praise for the show, it's more a... meta experience? I have to say, the idea that Destiel became sort of canon, but in the most homophobic way possible, in the year 2020, while we're all still waiting for election results to come in is... one of the wildest, most hilarious things to ever have happened to me. I mean it, last night sitting alone in my house I kept cackling loudly to myself, in complete and utter disbelief. I saw Tumblr explode in a way that hasn't happened in years. I was transported back in time nearly a full decade, to the person I was when I started writing these reviews, or even before that, when I was new to Supernatural, new to the whole concept of being truly involved in a fandom.

Here's the thing... I never. Ever. EVER. Thought we would get any sort of textual confirmation. I thought at most, if they went for a happy ending for everyone, we'd get Dean and Cas as hunting partners, and we could all fill in the post-canon gaps. I once told my sister that I'd be happy with a one-sided love confession from Cas to Dean, because that part was practically canon before last night, and in a way, I am happy. I'm happy that this crazy thing actually happened, and if nothing else, all of those clowns can put away their makeup. I was never with them. I never believed, and there's this sliver of me that's happy to have been wrong. It's completely bogus how it happened, but the fact that we live in a reality where it happened is still kind of tripping me out in a major way. So I'm happy, I'm... flabbergasted, but I'm experiencing a very unique, unprecedented soup of emotions this morning and I never would have felt like this if Cas had died with a no homo parting.

And that's the thing, they let it be unambiguously about Dean, not just in that one moment, but all along, and that's really satisfying in a meta narrative sense that when everyone was reading it as "Castiel is in love with Dean," they were... correct. It doesn't really matter when they decided this, in last night's episode they made it crystal-clear that it wasn't a whim, wasn't a recent development, in-universe. This has been Cas' truth from very, very early on, his entire experience since meeting Dean has been shaped by him, he's loved him all this time. That... I don't know, it's absolutely bonkers that this is all we're going to get, but it does mean something, if you want to let it.

Welcome back to 2012, Tumblr. Last night was a wild ride, I won't deny.

I'm giving the episode a bad score, but I just want to say the Destiel scene gets a simultaneous infinity-out-of-ten and also zero-out-of-ten, imploding the multiverse instantly. That's where I'm at, folks. Insert gif of Chidi dropping Peeps into a big pot of chili. I'm gonna go take a nap.

6/10

[fishfingersandjellybabies]

Boy I’m Telling You - fic

Characters: Damian Wayne, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Tim Drake Summary: The Titans, the Teen Titans, the Outlaws and Young Justice. After the team-up of the century, Damian finds himself standing alone. A/N: Based on/Inspired by ‘Not Losing You’ by Maddie Poppe. This strikes me as a very Damian and probably Dick song, and I didn’t do it any justice in my rusty, suddenly infrequent writing. Dick absolutely lives up to what he told Jason and makes it a thing. He also threatens Jason and Tim with pain of death if they’re ever the ones to tell Damian it wasn’t. Their friends are a little offended that they all immediately abandoned them without a reason for Damian, but the other Batboys are perfectly fine with that, Dick, of course, especially. Artemis and Bizzarro are the only ones who don’t hate/probably actually like Damian, just haven’t hung out with him much, so. This is really poorly/not really at all edited so. Sorry I’m garbage :/

~~

It was quite the team up, to say the least.

Titans, Teen Titans, Outlaws. Even Drake’s ridiculously named Young Justice joined in the fray.

The battle was hard. Long. Painful. But it was over now. They’d won. The bad guy was taken down. There were no casualties. The day was saved, and they were heroes to the people once more.

And now that the war was won, the teams were slowly ungrouping. The Outlaws here, the Titans here, their teen counterparts over there, and the like.

And Damian…stood off to the side. Alone.

His team didn’t like him much, he knew that. They worked with him when they needed to, like today, but otherwise kept their distance. So he tried to respect that. Tried to give them the space they wanted.

Tried to pretend it didn’t hurt as much as it did.

He heard Grayson laugh across the space, and glanced at him. He was in the center of the Titans, somehow giving each of his friends his full attention at once. Donna was smiling, Wally was cackling, smacking Dick on the shoulder.

He glanced over towards Drake’s team, Young Justice. It was Drake spreading the physical affection here, an arm around Conner Kent’s shoulders, high-fiving the others, one by one under the shouts of one of them for pizza.

Jason’s celebration was more muted. An arm punch from the Amazonian one, Artemis. The Superman clone rubbed at his hair, and laughed as Jason frowned at him. Roy even popped over from the Titans clique, wrapping Jason in a hug that Jason grumbled at, and kissed his cheek. Kory waved across the way, remaining at Dick’s side.

One last look to his own team. They all had their backs turned to him, talking to each other. Smiling and whispering, paying him no mind.

So…that was it. The battle was over.

Guess he could just…go home, then.

He did one last look toward everyone, made sure he didn’t notice any injuries someone was trying to hide, or troubles lingering around them. Then nodded and turned away, wondering where he left his bike.

He had only taken a few steps when: “Damian?”

He glanced over his shoulder, and found Dick, suddenly extracted from his Titans, jogging almost desperately towards him. He paused, turned.

“Everything okay?” He asked as Dick approached.

“Yeah, of course…where are you going?”

“Home.” Damian almost smirked. “Where else would I be going?”

“With us to get the obligatory and celebratory ‘we-saved-the-day’ Korean BBQ?” Dick pointed his thumb over his shoulder.

“I was unaware I was invited.” Damian murmured. He glanced over Dick’s shoulder towards the Titans. They were all still grouped together, laughing and chatting. “…I don’t think your friends would appreciate my tagging along.”

“My friends?” Dick tilted his head. He hesitated, then followed Damian’s line of sight. “Oh! Well, they…weren’t really invited. I didn’t mean them.” Dick laughed, and turned further. “I meant, them.”

Damian glanced around his brother to find both Jason and Tim separating from their teams to move towards them.

“With all the craziness around Bruce’s death, I never really got to show you this tradition.” Dick smiled softly. “No matter how big the team-up, if we’re all involved, we go out for a family meal after.”

Damian watched as his brothers got closer, but his gut churned uncomfortably.

“…That’s a tradition you have with them. Don’t feel like you need to include me too.” He frowned, looked over at his own team. “Out of pity.”

“…Damian.” Dick huffed in an exasperated laugh. Tim reached them then, and cocked his head to the side in curiosity. “How many times have I explained to you that nothing I do with you is out of pity?”

“Look, I know you’re not an idiot.” Damian felt himself beginning to ramble a little, embarrassment and defensiveness growing as Jason now silently joined them. “I know you saw the divide between my team and I concluding this battle. I know you think I look like…like the lonely kid on a playground or something, but it’s fine. I…I’m tired anyway. And there’s reports to be made on this. So.” He sniffed, avoided Jason’s understanding gaze, and Tim’s sympathetic one. “So go have fun. Bring me a box of BBQ later if you think of it.”

Dick threw his head back and gave a long, suffering sigh that turned into another airy, this-can’t-be-real laugh.

“…Damian.” He repeated, bringing his head back up. He leaned forward and put both his hands on Damian’s shoulders, forcing Damian to look up at him. “I don’t care about your team. Frankly, it’s their loss, in my opinion.” Dick grinned, gave Damian a little shake. “And like I said, a family meal. You are family. Period. And honestly, if you’re not coming, then I don’t even want to go.”

“I’m going whether any of you three are there or not.” Jason quipped. “’Cause I’m fucking hungry.”

Tim slapped his arm.

“But you’re right…I did see how you and your team are. And I know what you think all of our friends think of you. And if you ever want to work on that one day, you let me know. But you know what?” Dick asked. Damian just stared. “I don’t give a shit what any one of them think.”

Damian continued to watch.

“Not even Donna.” Dick claimed. “And she would kill me if she heard me say that.”

That earned a smirk. Dick grinned back, and ruffled his hair.

“Now come on, kid. Because I’m with Jason – I’m starving.” Dick nodded. But before he could scoop Damian up and throw him over his shoulder to forcibly bring him along for some brotherly bonding, Tim stepped up first wrapping an arm around Damian’s shoulder and leading him towards the nearby street.

And when he looked back, Dick thought he’d be looking at him, a knowing look at what he was planning to do. But instead, Tim was looking at Damian’s team, with quick glances at his own.

Because of course, they were all watching. The Titans, the Teens, the Outlaws, the Young Justice. The Bats love to make an exit, after all. And the feeling about Damian was mutual amongst most of them.

And by the pure cold fury in Tim’s eyes, it looked like he might be even more sick of it than Dick was.

After all, Dick wasn’t lying. It was absolutely, 100-percent their loss, that they didn’t love this boy as much as he did.

Jason suddenly jabbed him in the side in the elbow. “Don’t pick a fight over the kid. Not today. He’s embarrassed enough by you as it is.” He stepped after the younger two. “And I’m still hungry.”

“Right, right.” Dick snorted. “I’ll do it next time, when you aren’t hungry.”

“Preferably when I’m not here at all.” Jason hummed. “Though…I wouldn’t be opposed to babysitting the kiddos while you go fight for Damian’s honor.”

Dick smiled, clapping a hand on Jason’s shoulder. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Jason watched after their younger counterparts. “…He’s going to find out you lied, you know. Eventually.”

“What about the celebratory Korean BBQ family dinner? Probably.” Dick asked, as they followed after Damian and Tim. “Unless we make this a real thing.”

“As long as you’re paying, I’ll keep showing, I guess.” Jason decided. But it was said gently, like that wasn’t the case. Like he might actually enjoy this small chance at family time. “You’re lucky Tim and I caught your hand signal, and are good at playing along.”

“Even if you hadn’t, I’d have made another cover story.” Dick smiled. “Though I still don’t get why it’s so hard to believe that I really do love hanging out with Damian.”

“Not for me. You two are the same brand of gleefully violent when you want to be. I know that.” Jason nodded. “You really going to fight your friends for him though? Or Tim’s? Fuck, or mine?”

“Jay, I’d fight the whole world for that kid.” Dick grinned. He bounced his shoulder against Jason’s. “And I know you would too.”

Jason didn’t answer, and that was answer enough for Dick.

When they reached the street, they found Tim and Damian waiting for them at the crosswalk. Immediately, Dick wrapped an arm around Damian’s shoulder, stealing him from Tim’s side. When Damian shifted away slightly, Dick squeezed his shoulder, and hugged him tighter, silently declaring he wasn’t letting Damian stray.

Not for anything.

Or –

He glanced back at the teams and friends they all left behind, without a word, or a reason.

- for anyone.