#don't worry just wait a couple of hours. another part of us will randomly activate and dismiss this post as pure poppycock

[echthr0s]

saw a post that said "overthinkers need partners who naturally express their love through reassurance" and I was like "damn yeah that makes so much sense" and then I opened the notes and the first thing I saw was the predictable response: "overthinkers need to work on themselves"

and I think one interesting development that has come of ~my personal journey~ (read that in an flowery Instagram font, please) in developing radical self-acceptance is that it really does extend outward after a while. I can't radically self-accept and then look at someone else and go "I'm ok as I am but you, absolutely not. you should change". it doesn't make any sense. people's idiosyncrasies and the way they move in the world and the way they navigate emotional matters etc etc absolutely do still hurt me -- in fact, they probably hurt more now -- and of course I still get fucking furious and sad and withdrawn and all the other shit. but at the end of it all I still have to go "well, what have we learned? perhaps they cannot be relied upon for [x] but there's nothing to be done about that. that has to be okay, in some way" and the way that becomes "okay" is through boundary-setting, self-soothing, and looking elsewhere for those needs to be met

and trust me I fucking hate it. righteous anger feels way better. spite feels WAAAYYYY better lmao I fucking love spite, are you kidding me. but. how am I going to actually find what I'm looking for if I'm too busy hyperfocused on the fact that this one person isn't giving it to me? and if I keep abandoning myself that way, then how can I be mad at the other person for abandoning me? now I'm just complicit

anyway back to the main point, yes, the the first instinct when someone doesn't show up for me the way I'd like them to is to think someone in the equation needs to change -- either me or them, depending on which version of my Protector shows up in that moment. but the secret third option is that this all just data. we have discovered that we are incompatible in [x] way, and that's useful! now what? is this a dealbreaker? is this navigable with better boundaries in place? is this something I can get met elsewhere? is the balance between compatibilities and incompatibilities a good balance for me or is it too unbalanced towards the latter?

both anxiously-attached people and people who are very demonstrative in their affection have met people who thought this was a flaw. if they manage not to internalise that and instead seek their counterpart, something amazing might happen

[tetsunormous]

Reencounters

pairing: Matsukawa Issei x f!reader

genre: college au, friends to lovers, smut (18+), fluff

word count: 6.5K

warnings: cunnilingus, fingering, vaginal penetration, unprotected sex, creampie, swearing, nipple play, pinning

A/N: This is for Ria's @bakugohoex's rich boy collab 💜 Congrat's on 3k!! thank you to @ohno-otome and @armins-futon for reading this for me. I love matsukawa but I don't write for him often so this has been really fun :)

Walking into your new dorm room, you weren’t sure what to expect. Sure, you’ve seen the pictures online, but there’s nothing like the slightly dusty window letting in a hazy ray of light shining down onto the slight dip in the middle of the mattress you now call your own. Your desk almost touched the corner of your twin-sized bed, and your new bookshelf barely has enough room to fit half of the books you brought, but this was your new life. It didn’t dawn on you just how different university would be until you arrived this morning, but here you were, unpacking all your clothes into the cramped closet in the corner. Luckily, you’re in the building where you had a single room. Privacy was something you were worried about, and the communal washrooms will be something to get used to, but either way, this was a new start, and no matter how nervous you are, you’re grateful for it.

High school wasn’t terrible, but it definitely wasn’t what you expected it to be. Going into it, you obviously knew that it would be nothing like how the movies depicted, but you were excited. How bad could those four years really be if you had your best friend right by your side? He was incredible. He understood you better than anybody else, would be able to tell how you were feeling without the exchange of words, but most of all, he was your person, and you were his.

There was no doubting that in all your years of friendship.

But alas, like all good things in life, they must come to an end.

The summer going into the twelfth grade, he was longer your best friend. The boy that would go to the farmers market with you and your mom every other Sunday was now lining up for the newest sneaker drop. The boy that would rather spend the night at home and binge-watch your shared comfort show for the seventh time is now out with the boys sneaking into shisha bars and doing donuts in the community centre parking lots with their new cars. You watched as he slowly forgot about you, getting caught up in his new friendships and obsessing over material items that he never cared about before. It’s not that you were upset he found new friends. It’s that the only time he would reach out was to randomly drop off something he had bought you in hopes it would make up for him blowing you off again.

They started small, simple sweaters he knew you would like, but the gifts became almost ridiculous as time passed. He would never let you return them either, so now you have designer shoes for imaginary banquets. Of course, you were always grateful, but you would trade all his gifts just to spend time with him again. His family has always been wealthy, they always went on lavish vacations and drove the nicest cars, but you never really cared about what he spends his money on or just how much his parents make. You cared that he saw you as a person he wanted to be with rather than just someone he could shove gifts towards to make up for the quality time he’d miss.

But now you’re here. You were arriving three hours before the suggested move-in time because you didn’t want to be rushed to unpack before orientation starts later. You’ve seen a few people walking around on your floor, but neither of your neighbours have arrived, and honestly, you don’t mind because that means you’re able to blast your music without worry. As The 1975 fills your room, you stand still for a second, really taking in where you are. You’re now attending one of the best schools in the country, living on your own with a floor of people you don’t know yet. It starts to sink in that you are starting anew. The people who end up in the rooms next to you might just end up being your lifelong friends. As the song comes to an end, you decide it’s time to try to make yourself look a little more presentable since it’s almost time for people to start rolling in.

...

It’s almost five in the afternoon, and everyone on your floor is meeting outside on the field for a quick introduction before group dinner. You’re sitting with your knees pressed to your chest as the girl next to you tries to make small talk. To be fair, she’s incredibly sweet, but you can’t focus on her because somewhere behind you, there is a voice you think you recognize. There’s no way he would be here. Sure, you have no idea what school he ended up choosing, but if he ended up here, he would’ve at least texted you. Right? Before you can confirm your suspicions, orientation starts, and your group leader is already talking with more energy than you can handle.

The group of guys settle down close by, and you can’t stop yourself from looking over, wondering if you’ll see the head of brown curls. Instead, you’re met with a bunch of frat boy looking wannabes that instantly make your eyes roll. To say you’re disappointed that you didn’t see him was so stupid. It’s been over a year, yet here you were, hoping to magically bump into him as if this was some cliche movie. If anything, it’s frustrating. It’s frustrating that even though he stopped caring for you, you still longed to see him, to hear him laugh at one of your cheesy jokes. It’s even more frustrating that this new start you’ve been looking forward to, makes you miss him even more.

There are only sixteen people on your floor, but introductions take a lifetime because someone didn’t come on time. When they finally do show up, you almost laugh at this whole situation because, of course, it was him. Of course, he was strutting down the courtyard in some brand new Gucci sneakers and the same Balenciaga sweater he had bought for you a few months ago. Of course, the annoying group of boys behind you gesture for him as he quickly apologizes to the group leaders. And, of course, when you make eye contact, he’s the one looking at you with a mixture of shock and annoyance.

Quickly rushing back to your room after the meeting, you decide you’re ordering in tonight so that you don’t have to see him for at least another day. This is all so fucked up. You wrack your brain trying to understand how probable this whole situation is because, frankly, it feels like a sick joke, and on top of it, he’s the one annoyed?

Naturally, you spend the rest of the night unpacking the rest of your things before ordering your comfort food to wash down all the feelings you’re experiencing. Putting on your favourite show, you begin your tenth rerun as you bury yourself in your blankets. Part of you feels so stupid for completely ignoring your initial dinner plans, but you knew with the mindset you had at the moment, there was no way you would have enjoyed yourself. It’s a bit silly you haven’t left your room since picking up your takeout, you don’t even know who lives beside you, but that’s a problem for tomorrow.

Slipping into your slides, you head towards the washroom with your little toiletry bag. You pass by the girl you were sitting with earlier, and she sends you a smile. After apologizing for disappearing all night she just laughs and assures you nothing happened. She even points out where her room is if you were up to hang out tomorrow during frosh activities.

Just this interaction makes you feel better, and you quietly hum along to the familiar tune coming from the shower stall.

He used to play this song all the time, claiming it spoke to him the first time he heard it. Since then, it became the song he would play anytime he’d come to pick you up, explaining how this song is special because the ending always reminded him of you. It didn’t matter how long it’s been since the two of you hung out. Every time you heard ‘Pluto Projector,’ it would always bring a smile to your face. You even tried to show the song to your ex-boyfriend, but he never paid attention to your suggestions. He always claimed that his music taste was better. Thankfully that relationship only lasted a couple of months, but still, the regret of not waiting for someone worthy lingers in your mind.

While applying your moisturizer, you hear the water shut, the person pausing the song right as the orchestra starts to come in. Worried about who you may run into, you quickly pack up your stuff. You hear the click of the lock, and as you turn around, you’re met with him, with his curly hair all damp and his obnoxious teal blue robe wrapped loosely around his waist.

Rushing past him, you briskly walk towards your room, but before you can close the door, his foot jams between the doorframe. He pushes his way in and quietly closes the door, only to be met with the unimpressed look on your face. He circles around your room, eyes searching for any trace of your past friendship before standing back at the door.

“What do you want, Matsukawa?” you ask impatiently. It’s bad enough you run into the one person you wanted to forget, but now he’s standing in your room with a matching frown.

Something indescribable flashes across his eyes, and you can visibly see his frown deepen at your question. Leaning against your door, his arms come up to rub over his face, peeking at you through his fingers before letting out a long sigh. “When did I become Matsukawa? I thought I was Issei.”

You can’t help the chuckle that escapes your lips, and you realize how childish your grudge might be, but he has changed, and the man standing in front of you isn’t the same man you once called your best friend. “When you changed, Matsukawa. Issei was my best friend, and YOU are not.”

His eyes filled with confusion as his eyebrows furrow, taking a step forward towards you. “I’m sorry? I tried to stay in touch with you. You’re the one that stopped talking to me, so I’d try to send you things instead. How was I the one who changed?”

You stand there, staring at him for a second before shaking your head. “I can’t do this right now; I want to have a good day tomorrow, so I need to go to sleep. Please, leave my room.”

His eyes soften a little, and you can see a faint glimpse of his infamous lazy smile, “We both know you’re not going to be sleeping anytime soon,” he stalks over and kicks his slides off before sitting at the end of your bed. “Let’s talk about this because, frankly, I’m tired of watching you decide if you hate me every time you see me.”

The nerve of this man. The fact that he invites himself into your room, declares his stay, and then sits on your bed without permission. You don’t even know if he’s wearing anything under that robe as his hair is literally dripping onto your comforter. Regardless of what the situation is, this action alone has you seething. Turning towards your desk chair, you harshly pull out the slightly imbalanced piece of wood and sit down, silently questioning why he isn’t the one on the chair.

He watches you stomp around, and he kinda chuckles at your little tantrum, missing how easy it was to rile you up. Your glare at him would be a little scary if he didn’t see the way your lips mumbled to yourself. It’s honestly a little cute to watch you all frustrated with him even though he saw one of the shoes he bought you in your closet. Sure, they look brand new, but the fact that you brought them here with you must mean something.

The year you two spent apart has been really stressful on Matsukawa. He thought that you’d be happy that he could give you everything you wanted. He knew he wasn’t spending as much time with you as he used to, but he thought the gifts he spent hours lining up for would make up for it.

When you stopped returning his calls and texts, he was crushed. Everyone could see how he felt about you, but then he watched you get close to another man. Within two weeks, you were dating him, and he was left watching from a distance. Neither of you ever confirmed your feelings for each other, but he could tell that man wasn’t making you happy. He didn’t understand your different facial expressions, he didn’t care about what you had to say, but all he could do was watch the girl he wanted from the sidelines.

Sure, as time went on, Matsukawa also started talking to other girls. None of them ever became his girlfriend, he didn’t think it was fair to get with someone when he was set on you, but he had his fair share of hookups. He has money, a shit ton of it, but he never let that get to his head. It wasn’t his fault that he gained popularity when he started to get into name brands and upgraded his car, but none of that ever changed who he was — at least not to the degree you had him pinned.

He watches you carefully, your leg bouncing impatiently as your eyes glare daggers in his direction. He runs his hand through his hair and lets out a sigh, “what did I do wrong? You didn’t even give me a chance to fix whatever I did (y/n).”

The lamp in the corner of your room shines a dim yellow hue onto his features. His brows are knitted in concern as he leans forwards on his knees, his robe showing off a deep v down his chest. You can feel yourself freeze up at his question, goosebumps covering your skin, while your eyes pour into his. “You changed Matsukawa. You stopped making an effort to be there. I’m not some girl you can just buy with all your money. I have never cared about how much you have or what you can afford -- you know that! It doesn’t matter what. I always split things with you because I never wanted you to feel like I was there for your money. But then suddenly, you just stop showing up. You wouldn’t even tell me you made other plans, and I would just open my door to find some package you dropped off.”

His eyes search your face before letting out a deep sigh. “I tried! You wouldn’t answer any of my calls, I know I stopped explaining myself, but can you blame me? Don’t you think I want to take you around and introduce you to all my friends? Don’t you think I miss going on late-night drives with you to 7-11? Every time I would drive past there, you’re all I thought about. You and your stupid obsession with cheese taquitos and Arizona tea. Did you even think about how I felt when you decided to act like I don’t exist?” He hastily stands up and paces around in the confined space of your dorm room. He never raises his voice, so hearing him talk at a slightly louder volume was enough to let you know he was dead serious. “You know, I never stopped talking highly about you because as selfish as it is, those boys have an important family. They have the connections you dream about (y/n), so even when you started to ignore me to go out with that fucking ex-boyfriend of yours, I never said anything.”

He looks at you with pleading eyes before going to sit back down, his elbows now resting against his thighs. “I know you don’t care about my money, but I didn’t know how else to tell you I was still thinking about you. I tried to get you things that you’d like, things that you’d wear. But no, I had to watch you put on a fake smile and laugh at that asshole’s jokes while you stubbornly ignored me to the point I thought you had me blocked.”

Looking up at you through his curls, his hooded eyes looked darker before. His lips curled into a forced smile as he let out a breathy chuckle, “he didn’t deserve you. But what do I know, right?”

You sat there quietly, taking in what he had just said. You didn’t realize how hurt he was. To be frank, up till now, you were so consumed by your feelings, and you failed to consider his own. His head is hanging between his hands, and the silence in your room right now is insufferable. He’s just explained himself, yet all you can do is scoff at yourself. While you were obsessing over the fact that Matsukawa wasn’t coming over to watch another rerun of your favourite show, he was out picking out different gifts he thought you’d like. You didn’t even open the last few because your own emotions so blinded you. Hearing him take a deep breath, he stands up and smiles sadly at you, “nice talk, (y/n). Thanks for listening.”

“I’m sorry, Issei.”

He lifts his head to meet your gaze, and you can visibly watch as his shoulders relax. It’s been too long since he’s heard you call him by his first name.

“I’m sorry too. I should’ve just gotten out of the car to talk to you.”

You look at him with a small smile. Walking towards your bed, you sit down and pat the spot beside you, pulling him in for a hug. His robe is probably the softest thing you’ve ever felt in your life, your fingers sinking into the fabric as you hold him close. His arms are immediately wrapping around you, and you both stay like that for a minute before you pull back, a faint blush blooming on your cheeks.

“No, you have nothing to apologize for. You tried reaching out to me, you tried explaining yourself, but I didn’t even give you a chance. I’m sorry. I can’t believe I was so caught up I didn’t even think about what you were feeling. The fact that you still wanted to introduce me to your friends, even after all the stuff I did to you….I’m so sorry, Issei.”

He gives you a playful smile and lightly nudges your shoulder with his, “yea, that was kinda unfair, but good thing we talked it out, huh?”

You flash him a sheepish smile, but your eyes glimmer with happiness, “yea, it’s good you barged into my room at two in the morning. Just like old times.”

His smile instantly grows at your playfulness, and he gives you a mock scoff. “I’m sorry, but if I remember correctly, you’d beg for me to stay over at two am cause you decided you wanted to watch a scary movie. Have you gotten better with horror movies this year, or are you still as jumpy as I remember?”

The tip of your ears growing warm while you mutter out a quick “shut up.”

His laughter makes your heart beat against your chest because you missed it so much. It’s been a while since you got to hear him laugh with you, and without even thinking, you go in for another hug.

His arms easily hold you close, and one of his massive hands reaches up to pet your hair. “Missed me, didn’t you?” he asks, and you can feel him smirking, so you just nod, your fingers playing with the damp, short curls at the base of his nape.

“Issei?” you ask with a little murmur against his neck.

“Hmmm?”

You smile to yourself and pull back a little, so you can see his face, “so other than hanging out with your friends and keeping up with my relationship, what else have you been doing?”

His face drops as he looks at you with a deadpan stare, the corners of his mouth twitching up in a smile as you giggle at his reaction. He pushes you back, so you end up falling onto your mattress, his long limbs effortlessly straddling your legs. Before you can think about the position you’re in, his fingers start to poke all-around your torso, causing you both to laugh as he starts to tickle you. “You think you’re funny, huh?” His hands go to tickle your worst spot as he starts to talk, but you can’t hear him over your own laughter. His fingers slow down, but you keep giggling when you’re met with his lazy smirk, “I’m trying to talk, you know. It’s rude you’re laughing when I’m trying to speak to you.”

He leans forwards and has both hands resting at the side of your head. Your faces now inches apart, the faint smell of sandalwood from his body wash now becoming more apparent. You stare into his brown eyes, and it almost feels as if everything stopped for a few seconds. The lamp in your room doesn’t do him justice as the shadows of his face wash over his features, but even then, his eyes stare back at you with a slight twinkle as you catch your breath.

Reaching up to wrap your arms around his neck and you tug him close, crashing his lips onto yours. The sweet hints from his beloved Burt’s bee’s lip balm make his lips even softer than you imagined. The kiss is short, but as you both pull away, he’s staring at you with a goofy smile.

“You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to do that, (y/n).”

“Me too, Issei,” you whisper back before his lips capture yours again, this time with more confidence. This kiss is much more passionate than the last, holding onto each other in hopes of deepening it. One of his hands travels down to grab your waist, his tongue sweeping across your bottom lip, asking for permission. Your lips part and your tongues swirl together effortlessly while your hands play with his hair, pulling him closer into your body.

His hand feels a little rougher than before against your bare skin because of how often he trains, running down the length of your leg. The light touch of his fingertips admires how smooth your skin is before they trail back up, stopping just before the edge of your pyjama shorts. Hooking your leg around his hip, he leans into your body even further and even nips at your bottom lip.

Matsukawa smirks and whispers against your lips, “did he ever kiss you like that?”

Slightly surprised at the question, you shake your head, answering honestly. “He never made me feel the way you do.”

You watch as his eyes dilate, flickering into a deep brown you’ve never seen on him. The hand that was previously on your leg is now cupping your cheek, stroking your face softly, while his own face blooms into a rare shade of pink. Still, his words are clear, “please...give me a chance? He never treated you right. Let me take care of you?”

Words can’t describe how his question made you feel. You spent years learning about Matsukawa, understanding him to the point where words weren’t necessary to see what was happening in his head. Not once did you think he reciprocated your feelings, let alone want to be with you. Yet, here you are, caged beneath his arms as his hopeful eyes pour into yours.

Turning your head slightly, you press a kiss onto his hand and smile. “Please?”

His face breaks into a smile. His cheeks are tinted rose as the corners of his mouth reach up to his eyes. Leaning down, he peppers kisses onto your face, the loose curls on his head tickling your cheeks as he giggles with you. The kisses trail down to your jaw, and he follows the natural curve of your jawline to your ear. “Is this okay?” he whispers softly, only continuing down this path when you give him a curt nod.

Your legs tighten around his waist when he begins to press open mouth kisses down your neck, gently nipping at the spots that make you let out shy little sounds. His tongue leaves kitten licks against your skin after he’s sucked on it, littering faint marks. Seeing you with light hickeys on the base of your neck and collarbones is completely self-indulgent for him. Thinking about waking up in the morning and seeing the marks he knows he gave you makes him inexplicably happy as he sucks particularly hard, causing you to wince.

Immediately he stops and turns to you, “I’m sorry, did I hurt you? D’you wanna stop?”

His concern for you is truly a breath of fresh air compared to what you had before. Shaking your head, you guide his hands to the edge of your sweater. “You bought this for me… it’s only fair I let you take it off.”

He studies your face for a second before his lips curl into a lazy smirk, quickly pulling the overpriced sweater off your body. He takes a sharp inhale when you reveal you aren’t wearing anything underneath as he’s met with your beautiful tits, nipples hard and pointed. “You let me in here knowing you weren’t wearing a bra? And here I thought you were a good girl.”

Noticing how your legs tighten around him, he smirks even wider. Leaning back down, his kisses trail down to your chest, and his lips feel soft and warm against your skin. His fingers take hold of your chin and force you to look down on him while his lips wrap around your nipple, the tip of his tongue flicking gently at the hardened bud. His hand palms against the fatty flesh of your other tit; his fingers are rolling your nipple before tugging on it experimentally.

Suddenly feeling shy, your arms come up to cover your face slightly just to have him lace his fingers with yours, pulling your arms away. “Don’t hide from me. Let me see how pretty you look. Let me hear how good I make you feel, okay?”

“I’ve never had someone play with my tits like this…”

He just stares at you, brows knitted as his smirk turns into a slight pout. “You’re with me now; that means every part of your body will be pleasured. I wanna hear and see all of you, okay?”

With a shy nod, you gently roll your hips against him, inviting more of his attention.

He kisses you once more, murmuring against your lips, “you’re so beautiful. Let me know if I’m going too fast, okay?”

His lips follow down your body once more, lightly biting your tit before using the flat part of his tongue to feel the valley between your chest. Matsukawa lets out a low moan as you arch upwards, pushing yourself closer to his touches. Letting go of your hands, he begins to massage the soft flesh of your tits and kiss down your stomach, the tip of his tongue trailing against the waistband of your shorts.

“Let me hear you ask for it; I don’t wanna do something you don’t want.”

“Isseiiii, please?” you whine out, the tip of your ears turning hot at the thought of asking for his tongue.

He smirks at you, looking up through his hooded eyes and tsks. “Be a good girl for me. Use your words.”

His words go straight to your pussy, and you can’t help the doe eyes look in your eyes when you whimper out, “please, Issei? Wanna feel your mouth on me.”

You watch as he takes in a sharp breath, the hunger in his eyes shining through despite the dim lighting in your room. He tugs at the end of your shorts until they’re completely off, repositioning himself lower until your legs are resting around his biceps. His eyes zone in on the way a sheer layer of slick coats your lips, happy that the attention he’s been giving you has pleased you. As he shimmies down on your bed, his legs now supporting himself on the floor, he nestles himself between your legs, easily spreading your things open with his arms. Sending you a knowing smile, he blows cool air directly onto your clit, loving how your walls flutter for him.

“You’re so sensitive, baby.”

“No one’s ever made me feel like this before...want more, please?”

You look down at him with pleading eyes, your hands cupping his face when you speak. Pressing a quick peck to your hand, he hips his head down and traces your pussy lips with his tongue, savouring how you taste.

The gasp that you let out once you felt his touch was adorable. It suddenly became the sound Matsukawa will chase after the more he gets to know your body and what it likes. He takes one long lap up your pussy, stopping just before your clit and using his fingers, he spreads your lips even more. Once your clit is all exposed, he flicks it gently with the tip of his tongue, looking up at you with all the confidence in the world. Hearing your little moans make him greedy for more, for more desperate and needy sounds, so he goes to press a kiss onto your bundle of nerves. Feeling you twitch beneath him, he gently places his lips around the sensitive bud and sucks earnestly, relishing in the way you buck your hips and call out his name. After a while of pure clitoral stimulation, he leans back up to watch your eyes blink back into focus on his face, a silly dazed smile on your face.

He winks at you and sticks his tongue into your drooling hole, swirling it around to feel the walls of your pussy clench around him. His fingers dig into the flesh of your thighs as he nuzzles his nose against your clit, his cock getting unbearably hard at the way you pant our pleas.

“I-issei! Please….need you inside, please!”

Coming back up for air, his hand leaves your thigh as his fingers start to tease around your hole, loving how your pussy clenches around nothing. So needy for his touches when he’s barely even started. He knows your orgasm was building, but he wants to take his time with you. You mean the world to him, and seeing you like this already makes him feel like the luckiest man at the moment.

Taking two of his fingers, he coats them in all your slick before slowly pushing them inside you. His eyes squeeze shut when he feels how tight you are, his mind immediately thinking about how you’d feel wrapped around his cock. When he’s finally inside, he pulls out slowly before sliding them back in, loving how you beg for more.

“Need more, please, Issei! Go faster, please.”

Your hands pull his head up to kiss you while his fingers begin to speed up. With the lewd sound of his hand slapping against your sopping wet pussy, his palm is applying pressure to your clit. Your moans are lost in your kisses, his other hand going back to playing with your sensitive nipple.

“I have to stretch you out, babygirl. I don’t want my cock to hurt you.”

All you’re able to do is nod as his fingers start to scissor your hole, stretching you out even more. His fingers, now knuckle deep, curl against your sweet spot, making you grip onto his hair as he swallows all your cries, suddenly remembering that the walls in this dorm probably aren’t that thick.

His fingers curl into you more, whispering sweet praises as his hand teases and tugs on your swollen nipple. Everything happened so quick, and you’re cumming all over his hand, your sweet sticky arousal covering his fingers as he slows down. Matsukawa is smiling down at you, “you did so well, baby. Bet that felt really good, huh?”

Maybe you’re needy or just horny, but even after your orgasm, you start tugging the tie that keeps his robe up. Your legs are sore, sorer than they’ve ever been, but all you can think about is how full you would feel with him inside of you. He smirks at you as he pops his fingers into his mouth, sucking off all your juices before letting his robe fall and chucking it to the ground. He’s wearing his briefs, but you can see how hard his cock is under the thin cotton material. Before you’re able to pull his underwear down, he stops you and lets out a small chuckle. “I’m sorry, I don’t have a condom. We don’t have to do anything.”

You giggle and shake your head, “don’t need one; we’re in university, baby. What’s a little fun without risks?”

He lets you pull his underwear down, and his massive throbbing cock instantly slaps against his stomach as he laughs at your reaction. “Had to make sure you were stretched out enough.”

You bite your lips and stare at how big his cock actually is. It’s hard to imagine how you’ll fit that inside of you, but you’re determined to give it a try.

“You ready, pretty girl?” he asks as he taps the tip of cock against your clit, loving how you squirm under him.

“mmhmm, Issei.”

He lets go of his cock and leans up, and pulls you into a deep kiss, completely in awe of you.

“Tell me if you wanna stop, kay?”

Replying with a small hum, he gathers up the remaining slick that’s leaking out of your pussy and strokes his cock slowly, also letting his spit drip down to help lubricate himself. He lines himself up with your pretty pussy and starts to push the head in, studying your face to make sure you’re doing alright. When he sees you smiling back at him, despite the grip you have on his arms, he pushes another two inches inside of you.

“You’re doing so good for me, baby. We’re almost halfway,” he whispers into your ear as he kisses your neck softly, sucking on the spot by the base of your lobe. “Such a good girl for me,” he coaxes as his cock slides another inch into your sweet cunt.

Incredibly, he’s only halfway down because you’ve never felt this full before. Still, your fingers dig into his arms when you ask for more. “Just want all of you in me, please?”

Hearing you ask for more even though you already looked fucked out sparks something inside him. He lets out a low growl and quickly pushes the rest of his length inside you, mumbling sweet nothings against your skin. He moans out with you when he feels how warm and tight you are, your pussy stretching more than it ever has to accommodate his size.

“Feel s’good, Issei.”

With a breathy chuckle, he peppers kisses all over your neck, loving the sound of your soft giggles as he pulls back three-quarters of the way, slowly pushing his way back into you. The gasp you let out is different than before, much more surprised but sensual.

He continues this motion a few more times before he picks up the pace, his hips slamming against you while your tits bounce. Each thrust knocks the air out of your chest cause he’s brushing against your spot every time. Matsukawa leans down and presses his forehead against the crook of your neck, muttering how good you feel.

“F-faster...need you faster, is’o good, please.”

Obliging to your pleas, he starts to rut his hips into yours, the sound of his balls slapping against your skin with each movement. He looks up to see your dreamy eyes and smiles. He knows there’s not a thought behind those eyes right now as his cock slams against your walls with each thrust. He goes to kiss you again, silencing your cries as your nails drag down his arms, trying to ground yourself in the midst of all the pleasure.

“You’re s-tight baby I- fuuuuuck, I can barely move.”

You can’t help it. Your walls are naturally squeezing him because he’s fucking straight into your sweet spot with each snap of his hips. You look at him with hazy eyes, entirely in a trance as you moan out his name. He can tell you want to cum, so his hand reaches down to rub your clit as his cock continues to pound into you.

“C’mon baby, cum all over my cock. You can do it...ah shit, yea, just like that.”

He’s been trying so hard not to cum but watching your back arch into him as your nails drab down his back, his name falling out from your lips in a loud erotic moan, is making it really hard. He looks down in surprise when he sees a creamy white rim around his cock, proud of himself for making you cream.

“Good girl...that’s my fuckin girl.”

Satisfied he made you finish, his head falls back onto your shoulder, his hips just rutting into you as he chases his own orgasm. Not even a minute later, he’s calling out for you as he quickly pulls out, cumming all over your tits. His chest heaves along with yours, his hair sticking to his forehead slightly as he empties his load all over your chest.

Once you’ve both calmed down a little bit, he smiles down at you and goes to stroke your cheek. “Had you creaming on my cock, was it fun? Did you have a good time?”

“S’good...thank you, baby,” you say before pulling him down for a kiss.

He gets up and reaches for his robe, “you did so good, took me like a champ heh. I’ll be back with a rag to clean you up, okay? Don’t move.”

As he leaves your room, you stare up at the ceiling and let out a laugh. Not even twelve hours ago, you were cursing the fact that he was here with you, and now you have his cum all over your tiddies as he goes to get stuff to clean you up.

You watch as he comes back into your room, fully changed with a rag in his hand. He kneels beside you and pets your hair as he starts to wipe his mess.

“Why’re you changed?”

“Oh! We’re going to 7-11 once I get you cleaned up.”

“.....it’s like three-thirty in the morning.”

“I’ll get you taquitos and Arizona,” he says as he goes to wipe around your pussy, mindful not to put too much pressure cause you’re still sensitive.

“And skittles?”

He snorts and kisses your shaking thigh, “yea, I’ll get you skittles, brat.”

© tetsunormous 2021

taglist: @plutowrites @armins-futon @arte-misa @strawbari21 @matsusimp @bokutomessy @mentaly-ill @arumiee @kvrooschibichan lmk if you want to be added to my tag list

[amethystroselilith]

Intertwined Fates (Chilumi/Zhonglumi) - Chapter 5

Yea so... uhm... I may or may have been addicted to anime during vacation and the next thing I knew, uni started again and uhm... we're a month in now... So much for me promising to be active in writing smh...

Also, I learned how to add pictures! Chapter 3 is updated for the ring picture :)

Can be read in ao3 here

SUMMARY:

Plans don't always go the way it is

Lumine can’t help but smile as Qiqi’s laughter filled their living room. Her heart can’t help but melt at the sight of her future husband, and her father pretends to be monsters and make fool of themselves to entertain the little girl. Lumine can’t help but chuckle to herself, her daughter completely has these powerful men wrapped around her little fingers.

“A beach wedding is such a wonderful idea, Lumine! Your aunties and I have founded these locations so far, if they’re not to your liking, just tell me, okay? Your mother will make sure to make your dream wedding happen!” her mother beamed beside her as she splayed out the pictures of potential beach locations on the coffee table in front of them.

Never did Lumine thought there will come a time when her mother and herself will bond like this. Upon confirming their engagement, her mother had been ecstatic; messaging Lumine all potential wedding ideas she can, even creating a board on Pinterest.

While it may be annoying to Lumine, she can’t deny that she’s excited herself. She gently shrugged her mother off at first, claiming that she’s busy with work, but one boring evening when Ajax was busy fixing something at work in his home office, the blonde woman opened the app to see what her mother is up to. She looked through the grand ideas her mother had pinned, they were mostly wedding dresses and accessories. The more Lumine browses, the more her mind starts imagining a wedding scenario, and the next thing she knows, she’s saving beach wedding-related pins and a phone call from her mother popped out of her screen.

Ajax joined mid-conversation and was surprised, and secretly elated that his bride also shares the same excitement of them officially tying the knot.

Never did Ajax thought he would be so invested in wedding planning, he’s more invested in the honeymoon part, but after listening to his fiancée and soon to be mother-in-law for a while, he can’t help but fall in love with the beach wedding idea and started looking at ideas on his own phone, which granted him a collaboration in the Pinterest board they’re working on.

After a promise of her mother looking for venues, the two-hour conversation ended with an excited soon to be wed couple.

A few days after that night, Lumine can’t help but think of her grand day every time she has the chance to. She had been bright during work, always humming softly as she works. Her glow had affected everyone in the bakery, even Xiao who smiled softly and even suggested something for the wedding cake, which Aether will be in charge of.

It surprised the twins, making them stare at Xiao long enough for the said man to be embarrassed and murmured something to forget about it until Lumine expressed her delight at the idea.

The original idea was a beach-themed cake, with the usual sand-like crumbs and seashells. Xiao instead suggested a baby blue coloured cake with frosting smudged on the cake to look like waves.

The day then ended with Xiao and Aether presenting a drawing of their combined ideas, Aether adding some white roses to complete the look.

(AN: Source: https://emmalovesweddings.com/summer-beach-wedding-cakes/summer-beach-wedding-cake-ideas/)

Lumine is in love with it.

“Have you two decided on the wedding date yet by the way?” her mother pulled her out of her thoughts.

“Well, we’re thinking a sunny Summer wedding will be nice? It fits the whole beach wedding theme, and coincidentally, that’s the time Ajax and I will don’t have to worry much about work.” Lumine answered, “It’s also going to be Qiqi’s first Summer at the beach.” she smiled at the scene last night, Qiqi’s eyes wide and curious as Ajax talks about the beach.

Qiqi had never been a huge fan of being under the sun, always preferring to stay under the shade, but from the looks of last night, her daughter seemed to be willing to give it a try, the seashell hunting and castle building especially.

Her mother took note of it on her phone, “Got it, now go ahead and look at these locations, I’ll contact them as soon as we get home.” she smiled.

Lumine hummed as she looked at the potential venues, they look great to Lumine so far, she appreciates the notes her mother stick with the pictures showcasing what each location is known and loved for.

She’s really invested in it, and Lumine wonders where all this energy is when it was her and Zhongli-

Before she could dwell on the thought, she shook her head, gaining a curious look from her mother.

“Sorry, something caught in my eye.” she shrugged it off while pretending to rub her eyes.

She went over the venues again, she managed to pick her top 3 favourites before calling for her groom to be, “Ajax, can you help me choose between these?”

The scene before her paused with Qiqi laughing as she pretends to fly as Ajax holds her up while her grandfather pretends to catch her.

“Sure, wanna help Mama and Papa choose the wedding venues, Qiqi?” Ajax cooed before sitting next to Lumine, putting Qiqi on his lap.

“Yes, Qiqi wants lots of seashells.” the little girl replied as she looked at the pictures.

“I’m sure all of them have lots of seashells, dear.” her grandmother chuckled.

Her mother is right, so it doesn’t really narrow down Lumine’s options, “How about you?” she asked Ajax, intertwining her fingers with his.

Ajax hummed, giving Lumine’s hand a kiss as he looked at the options, Qiqi giggled and offered her own hand, to which Ajax chuckled and give it a light kiss as well before ruffling her hair.

“They’re all good to me.” he shrugged.

“Ah, as helpful as your father was when we were planning our wedding.” her mother joked.

“Hey, I just trust your taste more than mine.” her father defended as he sat next to his wife.

Ajax was about to use the same excuse, but Lumine glared at him, “Don’t you dare.”

He raised his hands in defence, “Alright how about this, we close our eyes and let fate pick?”

Lumine raised an eyebrow.

“What? They’re your top 3 favourites, right? And we can’t choose, so why not give it a try?” Ajax shrugged.

Lumine sighed but agree, “Well, why not?”

With their hands together, they closed their eyes.

Their parents can’t help but laugh, Qiqi giggling in anticipation as she waits for the answer.

Their fingers grabbed a picture.

They opened their eyes,

‘Cool Isle’, it read.

~~~

“Qiqi wants beach wedding too,” Qiqi says, effectively freezing Ajax from cooking.

Lumine snickered from the table, watching and waiting for the man’s reaction. It was almost dinner time when her parents left, so they decided to hang out in the kitchen while Ajax prepares their meal, Qiqi’s colouring on her notebook while Lumine decided to just randomly film themselves. It’s a thing that she loves to do, documenting some of their lives to look back to in the future, and now looks like an interesting memory to laugh at someday.

Ajax turned to them with a tight smile, “No.”

Qiqi pouted, “Why not?”

“Because you’re my baby Qiqi and you’ll be forever, therefore, you’re not allowed to get married,” Ajax explained, pouting when he saw Lumine snickering with no intention of stopping their daughter from her terrifying plan.

“But why?”

“You’ll get three storytimes later if you promise not to get married.”

“Four!”

“Deal. You got that on camera right, love?” Ajax turned to Lumine.

“Oh my god.” Lumine laughed but nodded, “Yeah, I did.”

“You heard that yourself future Qiqi,” Ajax said at the camera.

“Four stories, yay!” the little girl hummed, bouncing lightly as she coloured.

The rest of the evening went quietly, they do their routines, Qiqi falling asleep midway through her first story, and now Ajax and Lumine are cuddling on their bed, the blonde having her back against her lover’s chest while his hands trace random shapes on her hip.

“What are you thinking about?” Lumine asked as she turned to face Ajax.

“Just you walking down the aisle dressed like the goddess you are.” he grinned.

“Really now?” Lumine raised an eyebrow, but Ajax can still see the smile she’s hiding.

“Well, trying to imagine what’s underneath the dress but it doesn’t sound as romantic now, does it?” Ajax teased, earning a playful smack from Lumine.

“It sounds more honest at least,” she retorted back with a playful smile.

“Now I can’t stop thinking of it…”

Lumine can feel something poking her leg, “Stop, it’s a surprise!” she huffed.

“That doesn’t help, love, now I’m more curious.” he groaned as he buried his face against her neck.

“There’s a reason why it’s called a surprise, you know.” Lumine rolled her eyes but still tilted her head to give him space.

“A small preview would be nice though…” he said suggestively before giving her neck a soft nibble.

“Hm, I guess a small sneak peek is fi-”

Lumine didn’t get the chance to finish her sentence for her fiancé just dived in for his meal.

~~~

“Rain, rain, go away. Come again another day, little Qiqi wants to play…” Qiqi sang softly as she traces the raindrops on the car window.

“It looks like it’ll be raining for the whole day.” Lumine observed the sky, “Qiqi, if it’s still raining when school’s done, just stay over Granny Shan’s toy store and I’ll pick you up, okay?”

“Can Qiqi have a new toy?” Qiqi gasped in excitement.

“If you’re a good girl for Granny Shan, then Papa will buy you one.” Ajax chuckled at the sparkle in Qiqi’s eyes.

Qiqi nodded before humming again, this time, livelier as she starts to think of what toy she would want.

“It’s nice we have someone to watch over Qiqi, we might be a little busy today since we’re in charge of the sweets for an event. I’ll make sure to bring Granny Shan something when I pick Qiqi up.” Lumine says as she looked at the notes on her phone to prepare for today.

“I’m sure she’ll appreciate that, babe.” Ajax hummed as he slowed the car in front of Qiqi’s school rather than the bakery, “Fix your raincoat, sweetie, Papa will walk you to school.” he said then waited for the little girl to follow his order.

“Give Mama a kiss and have fun at school, okay?” Lumine smiled.

“Okay! Qiqi’s gonna do her bestest!” the little girl responded before giving Lumine a kiss.

Ajax prepared the umbrella before stepping out of the car to get his daughter.

Lumine hummed and waited in the car. She looked at the toy store across the street, “It looks like they’re opening.” she said as she watches someone in a raincoat and an umbrella try to push up the display barrier to reveal the contents of the shop.

Granny Shan did say someone was helping her run the shop, “Someone looking for his family, huh.” she remembered the old woman saying, though she didn’t get any more information than that, though she did remember the man being nice to Qiqi and buying her a present.

Lumine should also bring him something as a thank you later.

The car door opening pulled Lumine’s attention from the employee.

“Qiqi has her umbrella, right?” Lumine asked.

“Yup, I made sure she didn’t forget it this time,” Ajax answered as he settled inside the car, “Alright, let’s go,” he said as he drove off.

~~~

Zhongli sighed as he shrugs his raincoat off and placing it on the coat rack together with the umbrella. He’s glad he stopped Granny Shan from going outside to open the shop herself. It was a bit tough even for him to push the barriers up with the wind trying to blow his umbrella away, he doesn’t want to imagine how dangerous it would’ve been for her.

“I hope it won’t be raining as much later.” the old woman hummed as she observed the weather.

“The weather news said it’ll be raining but it would be lighter than this,” Zhongli said as he went on about his duties.

“Well, either way, Qiqi would be waiting here, her mother will pick her up later.” Granny Shan said, “Which is nice cause I would love to give her something for their wedding.”

“Wedding?” Zhongli raised his eyebrow.

“Ah yes, turns out the couple isn’t married yet. Qiqi isn’t biologically the groom’s but she was raised by him when her father died from an accident.” the woman explained.

“That’s an unfortunate accident.” Zhongli frowned.

“Ah it was, but her groom is a great man, he said her deceased husband was his best friend, while it may sound controversial, I think it’s great that he takes good care of them, you can see how dedicated and loving he is when it comes to his family.” Granny Shan chuckled, “Maybe you should visit the bakery sometimes, it would be more fun to socialise with people your age than just an old lady like me.” she teased.

“Don’t be like that, I quite enjoy our conversation.” the brunette replied, “But I think it would be nice to meet them, maybe they can help me in searching for my own family.”

“Ah, that would be great as well.” Granny Shan replied, “Well, I’ll go ahead and make us some tea to warm us up.” she said before leaving to the kitchen.

Zhongli hum before continuing his tasks.

~~~

It was five hours after Qiqi’s done with school.

Five hours of Qiqi waiting for her Mama.

And Qiqi is starting to get a little fussy.

By this time, Qiqi would have taken a nap in the private room of the bakery, she would’ve woken up refreshed and would be playing with her Uncles now.

She doesn’t even remember the promise of a new toy, she just wants to go home and sleep.

Granny Shan had offered the sofa in their living room, but Qiqi isn’t comfortable with napping somewhere else than the comfort of familiarity their bakery gives. Even if she knows Granny Shan and Mr Zhongli are good people, she just wants her Mama and Uncles nearby.

Zhongli frowns as Qiqi rejects another snack from him, while Qiqi did have a packed lunch with her, he thought that some sweets will brighten her mood, but all he was getting was a no and a frustrated tired face from the girl.

“Hm, it’s barely raining outside now, why don’t you just walk Qiqi there?” Granny Shan said.

Qiqi perked up at the suggestion, looking at Zhongli with tired and pleading eyes.

“Yeah, I think it would be a great idea, the little one is tired and I think she’d be more comfortable resting with her family.” Zhongli nodded.

Qiqi’s eye lightened, she nodded in agreement before standing up to follow Zhongli.

“Alright, be careful, bye Qiqi.” Granny Shan waved.

Having been in a good mood again, Qiqi smiled and waved, “Bye-bye, GrannyShan!” before grabbing Zhongli’s hand.

It took Zhongli by surprise, he wasn’t offering his hand but it seemed to be a habit of the little girl, which isn’t that bad, it’s safer that way and he’s glad her parents thought her that.

Also for some reason, it gives him a huge sense of comfort.

Gently grabbing Qiqi’s hand and an umbrella, they made their way.

~~~

“Oh my god, I hope Qiqi is fine.” Lumine said as she frantically shoved her things in her purse, “We were so busy no one can come to get her, I couldn’t even prepare something for Granny Shan.”

“Baby, calm down.” Ajax sighed as he wrapped his arms around his stressed lover, hugging her from the back “Qiqi’s in good hands and you guys did amazing for the event, you should rest for a bit,” he said softly before kissing the side of her head.

While Lumine is shy with public display of affection, there is no customer to tend since the bakery was closed early, most of the employees left, Xiao was at the kitchen making sure to clean the last bit before locking up the back then heading home, and Aether had left to pick Keqing up from work. It’s just the two of them in front of the shop, Lumine having cleaned up the counter and tables when Ajax arrived.

“You know how Qiqi is when she doesn’t get her nap, she’s going to be a nightmare to take care of later.” the blonde dreaded.

Ajax chuckled, turned her around and lifted her up to sit her on the table, “I’ll be with you, don’t worry, we’ll handle our little tantrum monster, okay?” he smiled with an Eskimo kiss.

The exact thing Lumine needs to calm down, she smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, “How are you always so bright even after work.” she pouted at him.

“Let’s say messing with a certain midget is a great stress reliever.” Ajax grinned mischievously.

“You know one day, you’re gonna get in trouble for pissing him so much at work.” Lumine deadpanned.

“Eh, I only mess with him when it’s a slow day so I’m not disrupting anything at work. Though it had become a game for everyone to bet on who’s gonna fall for whose prank, I have a winning streak of 4 if you’re curious.”

“If our kids become little shits, you’re sleeping on the fucking sofa.” Lumine threatened, though there’s a playful hint in her eyes.

“Such a harsh punishment, love, how will I pass on my legacy?” Ajax faked frowned.

“What legacy? Being a little shit to Scaramouche?” Lumine teased as she poked his cheeks.

“Well, I was thinking our kids vs his, you know? A worthy opponent, their battle will be legendary!”

Lumine laughed, “Ajax, no!”

Ajax grinned, glad that his lover is in a much brighter mood. The talk about their future kids had also brightened him up with excitement, he can imagine Qiqi being the best big sister she can be with the future little ones that’ll be running around their house.

Speaking of which, he should start looking for some renovation plans to handle a bigger family in their home.

A text notified Lumine. She checked her phone and sighed in relief, “Well, looks like Granny Shan sent her employee to walk Qiqi here.”

Ajax hummed before burying his face against her neck, “That’s great, ‘cause I’m feeling comfortable like this.”

“You’re gonna make the man uncomfortable, Ajax.” Lumine pointed out how intimate they look but nonetheless brushed her fingers through his hair.

“Eh, should be expected with a soon to be wed couple.” Ajax shrugged not moving except lifting his face to rest his forehead against hers.

Lumine just chuckled and welcomed the comfort.

“Mama, Papa, Qiqi’s here! Look, Mister, that’s Qiqi’s Mama and Papa!”