#don't think I'm not still evaluating that cover it was weird as shit

[jinkieswouldyoulookatthis]

hii i love your banner btw. i'm curious how you feel about the episode Scoobynatural as a spn and a scooby doo fan. don't feel any pressure to answer!

The pressure to talk about both Scooby Doo and Supernatural just exists naturally inside me all the time, so sorry for the incoming explosion, but when the crazy is directly poked it tends to burst, lol.

Putting in a cut, because this is probably going to be long...

(I apologize in advance.)

So, thank you for asking! I'm kinda old, been watching Scooby Doo for well over four decades and have been a huge fan of that franchise since I was very small. I even once joined a mail order (waaaaaaaaay before the internet) fan club that issued me an official membership card and everything. Shit, I just realized as I was typing this that I'm actually wearing a Scooby Doo shirt right now, lol.

So, shortly after I finally succumbed and started watching Supernatural, at the beginning of 2015, I wanted the two shows to cross over. I kept thinking about it, writing up little drabbles and whatnot, and commissioned the piece that I use as my mobile banner/cover image. So when they announced, in late 2017 I think, that they were going to actually do a crossover episode, I was over the moon!

As for what I think of the episode, well, that's kinda complicated. To preface, I have two entirely separate rating systems for things that co-exist weirdly in my head, both my objective evaluation and my subjective opinion. These often seem to contradict each other, try not to let that get to you, like I said, it's complicated, but it's just how I roll.

So, objectively, I'll be perfectly honest, it's got some problems. Most Supernatural episodes fall solidly into the "okay" category. This is not a bad thing, I feel like I need to stress that. What makes the show as a whole good are the stand out episodes that are truly great, and there are a sizable handful of them every season. When balanced against the couple of actually bad episodes scattered throughout the 15 year run, the scales tip solidly in favor of it being an overall really good show.

So, Scoobynatural... It's cute, it's fun, but a little, I don't know, awkward doesn't quite seem right. Maybe it just feels a little too obvious? Hmm, still not the right word... maybe superficial? I don't know, it just fails to obtain suspension of disbelief and one remains very aware of the mechanizations of it being a tv show. But whatever, you know, it's a ridiculous premise, we all know that. LOL. I'm not a fan of how Dean and Sam were drawn, I don't think they did them justice. I mean, look at my banner, they could have, SHOULD have looked more like the actual actors or just been cuter. But that's really all the complaints I had about the episode. So objectively, it's a good episode. Not great, but better than just okay, solidly good.

Subjectively, though? I loved it!

What I really enjoyed about it? One, I love that Dean is as much of a fan of the show as I am. We are close in age, and one of the ways that I'm dean-coded is in how I relate to tv and movies, so it's a point of connection I feel very deeply. I don't find his attraction to Daphne creepy, I actually get it. Not that I find Daphne attractive in that way, I always kinda wanted to be Daphne, so there's that whole reader self-insert aspect for me that just scratches a weird kink, you know? And the fact that she's completely hung up on Fred is so great.

I'm also totally onboard with Velma lusting after Sam. I really don't have an investment in any cartoon character's supposed sexuality. Is she straight? Bi? A lesbian? Sure, why not, whatever works best in the moment is 100% a-ok with me. And honestly I feel that Sam should be an exception regardless because he does have dreamily broad shoulders.

Also, if you just run with the episode, it's freakin' hilarious! The way it bounces between Dean's glee at being in the Scooby Doo universe and then dark, existential horror is just *chef's kiss* so good. When the first dead body is found and it's all bloody and the guy is really dead and Dean says, "Son of a bitch." That's good stuff right there.

Cas casually dropping the fact that he's likely married to a djinn queen is a golden overlooked moment tbh.

Dean clearly saying "Hail no" instead of "Hell no" when he realized he was touching the ghost instead of Daphne, like, Jensen, babe, your Texas is showing. LOL

Running montage!!! But fucking Scrappy Doo, grr.

The spiral the Scooby gang gets sent into when Shaggy's arm gets broken and they all realize that the horror is real? Have a breakdown and then bounce out of it again so fucking fast? That is the true brilliance in this episode, btw. I loved it!

The fact that Fred's crazy trap didn't work, because it was designed to catch something corporal, but Dean had a back up plan in place because he knew it wouldn't work but chose to not argue with Fred... so funny.

Sam: Ok, that was... something.

Dean: That was the coolest thing that's ever happened to me. And that includes the Cartwright twins.

Castiel: What did you do with the Cartwright twins?

Dean: Oh... *laughs*

Dean is a pervy little creep and I just love him, ok?

Like, yes, it is all utterly ridiculous, but that actually works because both shows were often ridiculous on their own. Mashed together, it just makes sense to lean into the crazy.

tldr - So, while not the best episode, honestly not really a great episode, but it is a good episode and I just love it.

Thanks for asking 😁

[iatrophilosophos]

There r also options other than going to the dr FWIW. like do that if you can & wanna and it's almost definitely a good idea to get checked up if people will actually listen, but like, if you read this and think "well I can't do that so I'm just gonna be miserable forever", you still have options! The following is p US-based in the details, fwiw. (Also, depending on where you live, there may be a harm reduction or "womens" health clinic catering to low income people-- oftentimes at these places you can say you're homeless and don't have ID and get free care! Sometimes you don't even have to be sneaky about it)

NONE OF THIS IS MEDICAL ADVICE! I AM LISTING THINGS FOR YOU TO LOOK UP AND FORM YOUR OWN OPINION ON!

One rlly easy otc thing for PMDD symptoms is up to 20mg famotidine (OTC name Pepsid). Many people in online support spaces swear by it and a few of my doctor friends prescribe it. Look for yourself on reddit or Facebook groups and thoroughly evaluate information before deciding to use it every month: pepsid isn't great for your kidneys. Why this works is kinda weird and AFAIK not well understood; immune shit and hormone shit are very closely connected tho

DIY HRT can expand to birth control (as-menstrual-treatment in this instance): many birth control drugs are available through the same routes people buy hrt raws. Again, seek information you trust. Find online communities and discussion groups (though you may have to think slightly outside the box, since it isn't common, but there are people out there who have the info you want). Consider finding the name and publisher of a reputable prescribing guide and downloading a pdf off libgen or Anna's archive. Look up scientific articles for toxicity and warnings-- but, most of these medications are estrogens or progestins, which typically do not have an overdose threshhold but may increase clot risk if used incorrectly over a long period of time. It's possible if you do go to a doc and get a script, you can co-op buy with friends or save up and save a lot of $$ on script fees (most things will be <$5/gram, good fucking deal for shit dosed in milligrams!)

People have been using herbs for shitty menstrual symptoms for thousands of years. Some herbs that come up often are: motherwort, red clover, raspberry leaf, black cohosh. Check contraindications (reasons a medicine might be harmful) from a western medical source like drugs.com, but look up actual usage in a BOOK (i like Matthew wood's Earthwise Herbal set, body into balance by Maria Noel Groves also covers these things in a way that's a bit more accessible but I hate some of her takes. Both available on libgen/Anna's archive) or a VERY REPUTABLE online source (like rjwhelan.co.nz or Henriettes herbs) instead of like, healthline articles, because those suck.

Ultimately like. This is not my favorite post because while it has a grain of truth, sometimes even what a really good doc is gonna say is "this just sucks for you", which you don't neccesarily need a doctor to know how to handle, and good doctors tend to be really inaccessible. it IS TRUE that if your periods are super miserable you should probably do some investigating; and like i said, getting checked out however you can manage is a GOOD IDEA because sometimes stuff IS kinda bad. You're just also not totally fucked if you don't have a doctor; and if your experience is relatively stable (i.e. not rapidly getting worse especially if ur well post-puberty and don't have an extenuating life or medical condition, e.g. being ultrastressed and/or food insecure and/or having an ED will very predictably give you fewer, much worse periods) then even trying some DIY shit for a while and seeing if it helps might be helpful in deciding if it feels important to push harder on finding an OK doc.

Finally: some herbalists and some doulas are quite knowledgeable about these things and usually have super reasonable/sliding scale rates; and they SHOULD want a brief low-down on ur issues to see if they think it's in their scope before a paid consultation (if they don't they're probably shitty anyway); so that can be a good resource in decision making.

So many people who get periods are like “Ugh it sucks that having a menstrual cycle makes you almost die every month” like no that’s not normal you need to go to the doctor

[hentaisenpai-5]

The long version

*excited gasp*

SO-! 👏

This is gonna be a lot

You may wanna get some tea and snack or something lol

My feelings on monogamy are .....Complex?

I've been in monogamous, ethical non-monogamous, as well as bdsm dynamics and polyamorous relationships. So I have some experience here and there?

Some quick things about me; I feel a lot really intensely. I care about a lot very deeply, and put others before myself more than I should. I'm also very pre-occupied with things being "just" and "fair". Like, way more than normal. It's intense for me. It comes with the adhd apparently and it's something I'm still learning to balance.

I also grew up with irrational parents, so being in control of these heavy feelings and making sure they don't paint my thoughts, like my parents let theirs all the time, is really important to me. Practicing patience, mindfulness and meditation usually helps. There's moments where it's more difficult, but sometimes visualizing the feelings voicing themselves help separate the feelings from myself so I can better handle them. There's more tho.

I was also bullied and sexually abused by a number of people growing up, and it was a small town, so I grew up incredibly closed off and untrusting of most people.

Back in that town, everyone knew everything about everyone. This meant that if you under preformed in any capacity, if there was any little thing off about you that they didnt like, something about your body or your skills in bed, wtfever, an ex could take it and run a mile with it. If they couldn't, they'd make something up. Or, theyd find a way to twist things before it ever came out as some weird way to cover their asses by faux-shaming you.

That, coupled with adhd and not being able to trust my own damn parents, pretty much made me insanely paranoid of others.

So, for me to even feel remotely attracted to someone in a sexual and/or romantic capacity, I need to trust them.

A lot.

They'd have to be a friend, before anything else. I need that level of trust, and security, before I could even think about feeling sexual about someone (hence my love for bdsm lol).

Otherwise, I'd be too scared or anxious the whole time (I learned this the hard way. I got asked if I was gay or if I didn't find X person attractive in the moment a lot before I ever realized i was just scared of what they would do or say after)

Because of all this, this means that I'm usually VERY reluctant to get serious and make myself exclusive to someone. There have been times where I have opened myself up to others, gave them a space and say in and on my life, making myself exclusive to them, just for them to turn around and do some really awful shit.

When I commit myself to someone, like when I agree to be exclusive as a partner and not just a friend, it's big. I make them a priority in my life. I dedicate time and effort to them more than anyone else. But this has rarely been reciprocated in my monogamous relationships.

Because of this, I find myself getting hurt a lot less in open relationships, or with friends with benefits

So like, going back to the adhd thing and the emotions.

One of the ways I deal with intense and sudden emotions is by learning my triggers and setting up like. Mental tripwires-? Like, with jealousy, the moment I feel the slightest pang of jealousy, I know to cut that train of thought off immiedately. I'm to immiedately start focusing on my love for the person instead, and then re-evaluate the situation from that emotional lense, rather than from jealousy.

I can uh....get really clingy. And needy. I guess? I didn't used to think I was but it feels like I am these days, at least when compared to others. And in a lot of relationships, I tend to feel things in it more than my partners do, so maintaining a level of detachment helps me not feel bad for when the feelings arent reciprocated

(Coming to terms with the fact that I may always love my partners or friends more deeply than they love me bc of my adhd has been borderline cosmic horror for me lmao)

So like, there are parts of me that I only engage with for monogamous relationships that I don't otherwise like to indulge in other relationships. Although this is rare that it happens, for my own safety.

And even then, I tend to keep those things as restrained as possible in accordance to my partners preference. Some partners like that shit, most don't.

So I dont normally show or give all of myself to someone as it has rarely been reciprocated. It's easier and safer for me to control how much of myself I let others interact with, as well as what parts. This applies to all sorts of different parts of myself in my life.

All that being said to say that yes, I can be monogamous, but only for the right person. It's not hard for me to have self control. I've had a partner before express concern over my poly past, but it really is as simple as me being able to just. Not want to go after other people.

Although, I usually prefer being open, as a deeper connection is already a pre-requisite for me, and it also let's me maintain a level of distance with them that one is afforded when just being friends.

Side note:

I don't dream of an ideal partner who is specifically monogamous or poly either tho. I hope that one day I will find someone who loves me for all of my weird quirks, for things I never even noticed about myself, someone who sees all of the potential within me and wants to see me grow alongside them.

I have no idea what that person is going to look like, or what their interests will be, or what their preferences are. I don't even know if it's possible for someone to love someone else in their entirety. I'm not even sure it's possible to be fully known by anyone, let alone ourselves.

I think it's far more likely that someone can love a lot of a person so much that they would be willing to tolerate the less savory parts. I think that's more realistic.

I also think it is most realistic for people to be in open relationships, and I embrace those far more easily than committed monogamous relationships.

But at my core, I'm a hopeless romantic. I dream of a partner who will love all of me. That I won't be too much, but rather just enough. That my adhd isnt annoying, or an excuse, but something I live with as a part of me. Something to laugh at or help with like ive been doing all my life. I don't bet on this, and I don't even think it's really possible, but if I could even get close to this, I think I could be content

[ereborne]

21 and 24 from the music meme

21) A favorite song with a person’s name in the title:  “Bob Robert’s Society Band” by Jimmy Buffett.  This song was originally considered for Nikki’s ask of happy-making songs, so it’s right at the top of my brain.  Take that, Chiomi, you asked a question with an easy answer.  One point to me. 

24) A song from a band you wish were still together:  One point to you, I guess.  The only broken-up band I could think of off the top of my head was One Direction, and I don’t actually know any of their songs (sorry tumblr).  I had to stop and google a list of broken-up bands.  “Hard to Handle” by the Black Crowes

[ladyyatexel]

Have you been thinking that there's a real lack of hopeless strangers on your dash asking for help lately? ☆Congratulations, I have arrived!☆

I feel obligated to a certain level of jesterdom while doing this, like perhaps I can earn my keep by entertaining people. It's bleak and humiliating, but we're gonna Have Fun With It! :D This is perhaps more a note to make to self and to a therapist rather than note here, but it segues well into the important point of:

~.•°¤.°•○~☆ I Can't Afford Shit ☆•*.°○.•°*×

let alone a therapist

I'm currently stuck in a weird position, both physically and situationally, because I have some sciatica scoliosis spinal bone spur nonsense that decided that now was its time to shine. I'm in pain all the time at every angle and position, so I'm not doing Great?

I'm in the middle of the process of filing for disability and if you've ever applied for a job and been frustrated that you gave them all of your information and then the application asked you to give them the same information all over again, applying for disability is like doing that, but times 40, and with information you don't have memorized the way you have your phone number and home address. They also insist on doing it through the mail. My next step is to be evaluated by some kind of impartial physician. My appointments are in mid to late July. I am unsure what they want me to do with myself until that time.

The work I'm trying to do is not enough. I'm making buttons like crazy but in the end they are just buttons and they sell for 2 to $4 and so you really need to be someone who is absolutely psyched about buttons and buys 40 of them or I need to tap into a market that is Larger in order for this to be reliably sustaining. I do not know what that market is. I was the weird kid in school - what is popular, I don't know, I was never meant to know, it is a mystery.

Do not get me wrong, I am currently holding my face above water because of some really enthusiastic fans of buttons.

But I can't sell a month's rent worth of buttons. I don't even think I have the supplies to make that many.

My rent is USD$670, which is hiked up an extra $70 from where it was last year because my landlord wanted to bleed me dry while the world is on fire. Despite how poorly insulated and badly maintained this house is as a structure, I do enjoy having even a badly insulated roof and a place to put all my shit.

If you've got a need for $700 worth of buttons for some reason, hit me up.

If you don't, then hey, I'm another artist in crippling pain on your dash hoping people in better situations than I can help out. I would love to cover my rent to remove that anxiety for myself for another month, but Every Bill keeps happening, so more beyond that it going to my electric which hasn't been paid since February, and my internet which will keep me afloat in nearly every way possible. I'm also almost at the bottom of the bag of Science Diet food that keeps my beloved cat, Onyx, healthy. I do not know how best to keep a ticker tape of a goal, because there isn't one? I need to survive until at least July. It's June 17th as I write this. Two months rent and some cat food? Don't know, I'm five minutes from a phone call which will determine if they will still allow me food stamps.

SO.

Ways in which I can dance for your amusement so that you may throw coins in my direction:

Art Commissions! I can paint like a motherfucker! I have an extremely ill-advised expensive piece of paper saying I can do it!

Check it out, man. There are COLORS and everything.

Radical.

I have a Patreon where you can see Secrets!

And a Ko-fi! I sell buttons on Ko-fi, in case you were wondering when that plot point would come back. It's not very satisfying narratively, I am sorry. Thinking about offering prints there, as well!

I have other options in my sidebar - RedBubble, Society6, etc!

There is also paypal.me/ladyyatexel if you just want to give money to my literally actually broken ass without getting a cool item in return.

And yes, if you're thinking this all looks and feels kinda familiar, I had to dance and beg on the internet in Dec 2021, and I made that go as far as I possibly could. It's six months later and everything I'm trying to do to better my situations is just taking Forever. I'm trying to come up with a way to stay afloat while rescuing myself takes its time.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far, friend. Even just knowing someone listened to you yelling for a minute is helpful.

No need to feel obligated, especially if you don't feel I deserve a second round of help, I understand. But if you wanna spread this around and let me 'Will Art For Food' on someone else's dash, that would be sick.

Take care of yourselves, friends, it is brutal out there.

[fuck-customers]

Bit of a weird situation here

Currently, we have no SM and no ASM at my Moss. The SM got injured and is out because of that; the ASM left shortly before she got injured.

A few months before any of that happened, the SM said she wanted to train me to be a manager. I got manager functions on the computer, had an evaluation call with the district manager, been learning things, I can help out the newer cashiers with problem customers and minor questions.

Before he left, the ASM said I'm a front end supervisor now. The SM's said that as well. Another manager has said that too, more recently. However, the schedule has never reflected this. The other front end supervisor's title on the schedule is "Front End Supervisor." Mine is always "Cashier." My pay is also still at minimum wage; the only increase was when min wage in our county increased. (I've been here a year so I've been meaning to ask for a raise anyways, but anxiety + SM getting injured and the current most experienced manager seeming honestly a bit overwhelmed by his new responsibilities means I haven't yet.) I've never been assigned to the stockroom, despite SM saying she wanted to train me there before she got hurt, never been on fitting room duty except for covering breaks.

(Also, I'm still at part-time, as I haven't yet left my other job. I know I'll need to eventually, it's in a different county and the pay's ~$3/hr less, plus there literally aren't enough hours as it's only open 7 hours a day and there's currently 5-6 employees plus the owners, but it's a really nice place and I don't want to leave them until I have to.)

I have considered the possibility that Moss is trying to get me to take on manager responsibilities for cashier pay, which is why I'm not going to actually accept more responsibilities until I've had a conversation with someone higher up and gotten some clarity and a raise. I don't think any of my managers would expect me to take on manager responsibilties for my current pay, which is part of the reason I'm confused-- but also people can always surprise you.

The problem is, I can't talk to the store manager because she's gone; and I worry about talking to any of the other managers because there's only 3 managers running a store that had 5 three months ago, I don't want to add to their plates. Also, our store is the worst in the region in pretty much every category, so we were struggling even before losing our SM and ASM.

I want to help out, I like my managers and they've helped me so I want to help them too, but also I want to be paid what I'm worth and I don't want the higher-ups thinking I'm happy to do more for the same pay!

*sighs* tl;dr: complicated situation at work, I'm confused about if I'm supposed to be a manager/in training currently, and shit's complicated so everyone higher up has bigger fish to fry than this.

[nothorses]

hello!

i can't send this anonymously because idk tumblr's just like that (although i think there may be a very good reason that anons can't send pictures BUT that's irrelevant) so anyway hi i hope you're doing well

saw this post and the last reblog is so extremely weird (as is the second one idek if that's sarcasm or what) BUT,, there's just something about the tone and phrasing of serious textposts on tumblr and twitter where it is very difficult for me to tell what aligns with my political/social views and what doesn't (probably because of the use of big words and long-winded vague explanations) - and this is a perfect example of that

a) what are your thoughts on this? where are these people's opinion coming from, do they have real basis, do you agree, etc.

b) i'm PRETTY sure that the last reblog is very transphobic rhetoric but i do not have enough faith in myself to know if that's actually correct so... could you maybe outline/identify a few red flags that indicate TERFy, radfemmy, and/or transphobic ideologies that i could look out for in general? i don't mean like the literal blatantly oppressive and gross things people say - the more subtle signs that give away problematic ideologies when the person is trying to cover those up.

This is, to me, pretty obvious TERF shit.

Some of the tells:

“Cis isn’t real”: They’re trying to invoke a bit of plausible deniability, but there are approximately zero people who both hate that cis people aren’t just presumed default, and are actually trans allies.

“Gender is just a social construct”: TERFs say this a lot, and what they mean here is that gender doesn’t exist; only “biological sex” does.

The implication that “woman” as a gender was created “to subjugate women”: How is it that she believes gender doesn’t exist, but women are oppressed for their genders? She’s arguing that women are only women because of their “biological sex”.

“Transactivists”: This should be a huge red flag. a) Why are people who care about trans rights the “other” and the “out-group” to anyone, unless they’re transphobic b) The word itself is very close to “TRA” (Trans Rights Activist), which TERFs tend to use as a derogatory term for just... all trans people. “Transactivists” smushes two of those words into one, something TERFs will often do in an attempt to distract from and dilute the individual meaning of the words.

“Why does ‘fucking with gender’ always equate to trying out new makeup, hairstyles, and clothing?”: This entire argument is just another way of phrasing “men in women’s clothing are still fundamentally men”, a common transmisogynistic refrain among TERFs. Notice how she singles out aesthetic/presentation choices, and ignores things like pronouns, names, and the experimentation folks often do with the way we internally think of ourselves.

“Gender-havers”: She’s essentially saying biological sex is real, but gender is something only trans people do.

“They cling to gender because they don’t have real personalities”: The implication that trans people are only trans for clout is just basic transphobic rhetoric.

“Being trans is socially regressive”: This is the core of most TERF arguments: being trans is actually misogynistic, homophobic, lesbophobic, racist, etc.

You can also check these folks’ blogs: the first commenter regularly reblogs from TERFs, and it took about 30 seconds of scrolling to find some TERF shit. The second commenter openly identifies as a radfem in her bio. 

I don’t think there’s much of a way to really evaluate what they’re saying here from a gender theory perspective, because on a fundamental level, they’re not saying what we think they are. This isn’t about what gender is, where it comes from, or how and why people experience it the way they do.

This is a very basic argument about whether trans people exist at all, and I very much believe we do.

[boop-le-snoot]

PARTY FAVOURS I CHAPTER 29

First time reader click here

Feels like this story is flopping. Is it flopping? Idk. This chapter is 100% plot and it is spooky. Cursed demon box. Helpful Stephen Strange and grumpy Wong. Hovering Bruce and Tony. Loki being a honorary Gen-Z. Found family but make it ✨superheroes✨.

"That's a lot to unpack," Peter stated once I had given him the bare bones report of the situation at hand. "Uh, are you okay?" The boy was obviously upset at my predicament, placing a supportive hand on my shoulder.

"Kinda?" I offered, making space for Wanda and Pietro who decided to join me and Peter, away from the arguing adults. The mission discussion - an absolute disaster - started as soon as Peter had walked in. Evidently experienced in such matters, the boy ignored the bickering and came over to steal me from Bruce's clutches to peacefully finish his egg sandwich in the company of his peers.

"I wanted to ask if I could see your memory of that time," Wanda meekly offered me a piece of candy. I accepted it - sugar sweet sugar, how I love thee so! The witch continued with a smile: "I think it would be helpful to see what we're dealing with, magic-wise."

"Sure," I trusted her. "Just don't scramble what's left of my sanity, please," All of us laughed at my remark as I laid down on the cold floor with my head in Wanda's lap. Her powers felt like small brain zaps, tingles that began at the front of my forehead and ran down into my spine. I followed her instructions and thought about the times I remembered, finding the box, placing it into my closet, the nightmares. I had a mild headache by the time she was done; no grudges against her - Wanda tactfully avoided my private moments and looked only at the ones containing the artifact.

"You've gotten really good," I complimented her with pure adoration.

"Thank you," She blushed, smoothing back my stray hairs. "That stuff is really strong. I don't think you should go near the box," She admitted. "And Doc should take a look at you. You have a residue left. I don't think that's good either."

"Well, fuck," I said in muted resignation.

"Press F to pay respects," Pietro joked in an attempt to lighten the atmosphere.

"Your luck is almost as bad as mine," Peter pointed out.

I scoffed. "Well, if I see any spiders around, I'll be sure to stay away in case they happen to be radioactive OsCorp runaways."

All of us laughed. Despite the grim situation, I didn't feel doomed. I was surrounded by friends and my boyfriends and my bestie who happened to be a mythical omnipotent god- welp, once again, I was getting too emotional. Once the adults were done arguing, we could start making sense of this mess and hopefully clean it up before the monster is out of the box.

"Mortals," I heard Loki scoff. The next moment, the Asgardian sat down noisily next to me, pout on full display. "This house is a nightmare."

His expression - or the accidental use of a meme - sent me completely, tension leaving my body via copious amounts of nearly hysterical laughter. Through tears and hiccups, I saw Wanda cackle with me and Peter show the meme in question to Loki, noting that he had been once sent to time-out on top of the fridge by Tony himself. Soon, all of us were laughing, much to the displeasure of the adults.

"Children, what is the issue?" Thor asked, irritated.

"We're just waiting for you to be done with arguing," I spoke before Loki could start bitching about Thor calling him a child. "Then I can show Steve and Loki where exactly have I buried the box so Stephen can take me to the healers and get this thing out of me or whatever," I pointed out the most logical plan of action.

Two long strides and the sorcerer was standing over me, boom-boom-whooshing and generally making very pretty golden patterns to appear and land on top of me. Tony and Bruce anxiously hovered behind him, both of my boys concerned and ready to mother-hen me. Ugh, so disgustingly adorable. Wanda's hand encompassed mine - she was nervous.

Stephen took a solid five-minute silence break before coming to a final conclusion. "Wong can get rid of the residual traces of the artifact's influence," The sorcerer announced curtly. "It's good you got rid of the artifact, a few more months and you would have started slipping into insanity if the magic within it was not released," He explained, slowly reaching out a hand to place it on top of my head. I wasn't sure if it was a gesture meant to bring comfort or another diagnostic test but leaned into the touch nonetheless. "Tell me, did you have any behavioral... Disturbances after...?" He trailed off.

I chewed on my lip, evaluating. "I honestly don't know. I've always been kind of an asshole," Honesty was the best policy. "Nothing seems out of order, sleepwalking aside."

"I see," Strange gave me a tight-lipped smile. "Perhaps, it was your stubborn nature that forbade the artifact from corrupting your mind completely. As evidenced by Captain Rogers, even undesirable character traits bring good into this world now and then."

That seemed a little bit hostile. I frowned, giving a questioning look to a frowning Loki.

"Speaking from experience?" Not the one to hold back upon witnessing first-grade bullshit, I withdrew from Stephen's touch, raising a sarcastic eyebrow.

Surprising everyone, the man laughed soundly, eyes crinkling at the corners. "I most certainly do," Shooting me a positively mischievous wink. I felt like I was missing something.

The room's inhabitants slowly ticked out in pairs and threes, eager to complete their assigned tasks. Loki had insisted on coming along to the sanctum with me, even almost getting up in Stephen's face, but Bruce - out of all people - managed to calm the Asgardian down, and together we convinced him his magic would be considerably more useful during the retrieval of the cursed box. Loki was worried - everyone with a pair of functional eyes could see that the spiky attitude was his way of showing he cared about me, which made my insides briefly turn to mush. I didn't expect him to take the title of my best friend so seriously and I definitely was not complaining.

Tony was the last to leave, jittery and shaky, clutching me like it was his last time seeing me, kissing me hungrily in front of everyone. The joke or two he made were weak ghosts of his usual sharp snark.

"I love you and I'll be back soon," I whispered into his ear, feeling him freeze and his fingertips dig almost painfully into my sides. Louder, I repeated: "Not planning on dying any time soon, y'all gotta chill. Let's go, doc?" I addressed the tall sorcerer who was tactfully pretending to be busy with his smartphone.

Wanda pressed a duffle bag into my hands mouthing "clean clothes" a split second before Stephen opened a portal and with a great deal of curiosity, I stepped through it, eyes immediately drawn to the dimly lit space filled with books and antiques. So many books, so many unusual trinkets. The chandelier that hung over our heads rivaled the ones I'd seen in million-dollar-homes of dad's friends.

"Follow me," Stephen extended an arm in the direction of a smaller door, "Please do not touch anything."

I walked a pace behind him, satisfying my curiosity by looking around like a child in a candy store. The air smelled different in the Sanctum, almost as familiar as Loki's magic but less frosty... Warmer. A dash of red fabric swished from somewhere towards me; I giggled. The Cloak of Levitation liked me - not nearly as much as it liked Peter though - so I brushed my fingertips along the fabric, greeting it quietly. Talking loudly in this building was out of the question. I felt like any moment, a disgruntled librarian would appear to chastise me for making noise.

"Strange," A short Asian man appeared, book in hand and looking none too happy. Guess that's the librarian... "I got your text. The room next to yours is prepared for the ritual," The man I assumed to be Wong gave me a curt nod in the way of greeting, doing a quick 180° and walking us back to a small but tastefully decorated room with a single cot in the middle. It was pleasantly warm, a small fire lit in the fireplace, willowy smoke of incense rising from a few strategically placed sticks.

"The bathroom is that way. I'm afraid you'll have to be fully nude for the procedure," Strange declared apologetically, pointing to a door hidden behind the divide.

I snorted, but of course, the weird voodoo shit would require me to be naked. Not that I was embarrassed or anything but still. Tony would have a field day. Locating a chair, I dumped my duffle bag on it, flying out of my hoodie and sweatpants in record time. My underwear and socks followed, feet unpleasantly chilly despite the carpeted floor. I ran a hand over the faint bruises on my hips, evidence of last night, fondly - either Tony or Stephen had left marks on my body and that was... It was great. I loved it, drugs or not.

I heard someone clear their throat and turned around, nearly cracking up at the way both men suddenly averted their gazes, blush riding high on their cheeks. I snorted: "I'm hot, what else is new?"

Wong shook his head, busying himself with some sort of a book; Stephen lingered, eyes fixated on the very same bruises. His tongue darted out, wetting the plush of his bottom lip, and damn, this wasn't the time to get horny. I shook my head and with that, the sorcerer caught himself too, mutely motioning me to lay down on the cot.

"Whenever you're done eye-fucking each other," Wong piped up sarcastically - wow, I liked this man already. Stephen grumbled something quiet and rude, provoking another snort from me.

I followed their instructions - shortly after the Asian man began reading - or rather singing - something in a language I didn't know, I felt myself fall into a deep sleep. Or, I thought I was falling asleep. At one point, my eyes opened to an empty room, a thin sheet covering my bare body, and a silence that made chills run down my spine.

"Stephen?" I called out. I sounded like I was underwater to my own ears. "Wong?"

I was met with silence so deafening, I had no choice but to sit up and look around. The fire was burning strong in the fireplace, several logs blackened from it as sparks flew. It took a second for me to realize it made no sound - there was no crackling. Something was very wrong, the dread was creeping up on me.

Very familiar dread.

With the sheet firmly wrapped around me, I hopped off the cot, suddenly noticing the drawings on my arms, my legs. I was covered in runes similar to the ones I had seen on the cursed box - and my memories weren't missing. As clear as day, I recalled messing around with the box, debating on opening it, taking it out of my room only to find it back on my desk in the morning, some serious Anabelle shit.

I jumped as the floorboards cracked somewhere in the house. Every logical thought I had, backed up by every horror movie I had ever watched, screamed at me to NOT go towards the creepy noise; like moth to a flame, I was drawn in and couldn't resist the unnatural urge to investigate it. On silent feet, I padded out of the room, desperately trying not to think about the lonely, dark hallways filled with strange ancient objects. My steps made no noise.

On the couch, in the main room we'd arrived, sitting lazily, was Tony. I'd recognize his hair anywhere - and the Led Zep tee, old, frayed edges and loose threads. "Tony?" I asked hopefully, trying to make sense of this...

He turned around.

It wasn't Tony. Whatever it was, it wore Tony's face, it held his brown eyes and crow's feet around them - it wasn't him. Wrong, like the lack of sound in this place, misplaced and unnatural. The doe browns didn't sparkle, lifeless, dull color of dried mud. As much as I wanted to go and bury my face in his chest, my limbs filled with lead, my whole body screaming "DANGER".

The impostor kept quiet which only solidified my suspicions. Real Tony would be running his mouth already, poking fun at my impression of a sheet ghost.

"Princess?" The... Thing asked in Tony's voice, but it fell flat and monotone.

"Whatever you are, you sure as Hell ain't Tony," I stated firmly, hoping for some answers. "What the fuck?"

Not-Tony's face changed, familiar features twisting into something sinister, the malice making me sick to my stomach. The creature stood up, causing my feet to take an involuntary step back as he advanced slowly.

"You have no choice but to submit," The Thing replied calmly. "You're not getting out of here. Not even your little Asgardian pet god can save you," Its tone was absolutely flat. I would have thought the thing was a robot if not for the obvious involvement of magic in this situation. Its words filled me with dread as thick as molten lava; unfortunately for the creature, unlocking my memories gave me enough rational balance to be acutely aware of it and therefore, able to fight it.

I could fight it. I didn't know how exactly, but I could resist it. "That's a really bold thing to say for something that... What even are you? Magical STD?" As my brain desperately focused on finding a solution to a problem I didn't know all the details of, my mouth had a mind of its own.

The creature growled, a far more primal noise than a human could make. "You don't know what you're up against, child. I am one for we are many," Suddenly, the room was filled with shadows as if someone had turned off all the lights and cranked up the moon to be the brightest it ever was. The shadows moved, oozed, motion sinister without any light to back it up.

I had no choice but to pucker up. Nobody was coming to rescue me; in fact, I always have taken pride in being a self-saving princess. Damsel in distress wasn't really my style. The hunch in my shoulders disappeared, giving way to a stubborn and stiff expectation of the upcoming altercation, hands bailed in fists.

"I mean, like Legion the demon from the Bible?" I recalled what little I knew from Wikipedia. "I mean, I'm agnostic myself, but if you feel like identifying with that, you should probably see a therapist."

The entity growled, shadows gathering around it like fabric on a string, and lunged. Paralyzed by sudden blinding, deafening fear, I turned tail and ran.

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