#don't mind me just posting my old stuff i kept in drafts:>

[cocosummer]

sum: after some time of having a crush on tighnari, you confess your feelings for him while he's fixing you up.

a/n: it's basically

>reader: tighnari i love you >tighnari: let's talk about this later dear you're going to pass out

cws: gn!traveler!reader x tighnari, confession, anxious reader, hurt/comfort -ish

The note of silence after your confession made you consider that maybe it might’ve been too much.

You lower your head, squeeze your eyes shut and wince, as if you were anticipating a blow to the face rather than a simple reaction. Accepting a random traveler who’d taken a liking to him as his mate was a lot to ask. And a mate for life, for that matter; Tighnari had every right to give you an awkward ‘no’ to your face. But.. whether it was from dehydration or the humidity of the rainforest, you’d started to sweat, and it was clear that you’d put your whole heart into your words. 

You could see it vividly: Tighnari taking the same stance with you as he would with a wayward ‘student,’ clicking his tongue concernedly, his ear ticking to the side as he lectured you about forwardness or something. But instead you heard the sound of clothes shuffling. The crinkling of the mat that you were rested on shifting weight, and the weighted footsteps that sounded until it seemed like Tighnari was knelt directly in front of you. The rasp of his gloved hands traced down your cheek, as he moved to cup both sides of your face.

His soft, delicate lips pressed to your forehead and held there for a good moment. 

And you felt release rush through you, unfettering any tension you’d felt before. You realized Tighnari’s plush tail had started up sweeping the part of the mat behind him. There was a rhythmic rustling over the carefully woven straw patterns that vaguely resembled the strokes of a brush, but could only be a fox’s tail. 

“Get some rest, weary traveler.” As always, you could hear the care of a forest ranger in Tighnari’s voice, one who had seen to many a wounded explorer and friend, for their own lack of attentiveness or experience. Or just because nature could be cruel, even to the most prepared visitor. Tighnari was naturally protective of anyone who visited his forest. 

And he was no doubt being protective of you now, the traveler he’d found overwhelmed by the flora and fauna with no one but Paimon to help you. The traveler who was saying what probably sounded like wild and delirious things. You could only imagine how you looked to him at the moment; parched and crumpled on the forest floor, somehow clinging to consciousness.. Of course he was being gentle with you; he had a wonderful bedside manner, as long as people cooperated with him.

But as much as there was a natural concern to his tone, there was something else now, too.. something softer. 

 “You don’t have to worry. I’ll take care of you.” His sharp, amber eyes wandered over your resting figure as he rose from your mat, turning to the medicinal herbs and such in a spread by your side. There was a gentle flush to his cheeks as his paws rummaged through the materials, and he read over the defining details of these plants and containers with a slight, contented smile. “And I won’t leave your side for as long as you need me. I promise.”

[technicalthinker]

FINALLY WATCHED THE BEAR SEASON 3 and after some considerations I think it was generally good! THOUGHT'S AHEAD:

I see what they were going for and in a lot of ways it worked, I think the first episode's concept was a super strong start for example. I agree that the season feels a lot like set up for s4, which again I don't rly mind.

But yeah, I still think it could've been stronger. It is purposefully stagnant, but I think they could've kept that feeling while still adding a bit of a journey to the season itself. Maybe not leave so many threads hanging. Giving certain plotlines a bit more of a clear curve or a set deadline. I can see why it's a mixed bag for many, but I think a lot of it's really good, it just needed some tweaks.

First I was like, am I too harsh towards this season, but I think a measurement to why it didn't hit the same is just... like literally didn't emotionally hit as strongly. I think s1 is the most even season as a whole. S2 has flaws and imo is messier but when it hits, oh boy it hits, I still return to certain scenes that make me feel feelings I can barely describe. And those moments were usually the show paying off big set ups, so it makes sense that a season with mostly set ups didn't hit the same way. STILL, there were a couple of exceptions this season, one being the Ice Chips episode. And there weeree rly good stuff and plotlines in here, just missing some parts.

DESPITE THIS, I REALLY LIKED S3, and I think it all depends on how s4 turns out how people will look back at this. Either it feels completely necessary it played out like this, or like the beginning of the end. All the conversations are like, stellar still and I love these characters.

So all this to say: i am gonna go insane about the bear now for a bit. I had a lot of old posts in my drafts i never got to post so watch me freak out over especially certain s2 scenes again!!! I truly never recovered from some of those moments.

[sleepy-pigeonn]

A Look Into My Hades Fan Animatic

I don't know to call this other than a collection of resources and reflections about the process of making the animatic. Hopefully it's interesting or helpful for someone. But feel free to ask questions if you'd like clarification/more info!

___

Inspiration (A non-exhaustive list)

It's possible that I've seen/read fan works that may have inspired me unconsciously, so there's no way I can possibly include references to them all. However, the ones I listed here are ones I recall looking back at repeatedly.

The fancomics "First Flight" and "Bonehead Boon" by Liana Sposto

Robbie Elliot Art's animation "Take Tonight"

Toastyglow's animation "Glitter & Gold" and PMV "This Year"

Storyboards posted by Paige Caldwell (@/papernewt) on Instagram

Zag admiring some of these beautiful fanworks.

The following sections are below the cut: References, Songs, Script and Thumbnails, Studies, Drawing, Editing, Random Facts

___

References

These were very helpful to creating the animatic!!

In-game references

Hades Wiki

3D Model of Zagreus by @/chunyou_ on Twitter

I also used screenshots I took while playing

General references

"How To Direct A Fight Scene" by Howard Wimshurst

Poses from the photo libraries of The Pose Archives and AdorkaStock

3D Model of Male and Female Heads by William Nguyen

I also just looked stuff up online or took videos of myself acting out some of the movements.

___

Songs

I thought of basing my animatic on any of the following songs:

"Icarus" by Bastille

"Dirty" by grandson

"Underworld" by CYPRSS *

"I'm Still Here (Jim's Theme)" by John Rzeznik

"I'm Gonna Win" by Rob Cantor **

"Could Have Been Me" by the Struts

They all have a varied degree of "Zagreus vibes" but I wanted a song that could be used to show as much of the game as possible. "Could Have Been Me" was the song that I could imagine more things for, so it is the one I ended up using.

* Look at this awesome Zagreus fan art based on this song

** Some of the lyrics for this song are so fitting for Zag but others are pretty ooc.

___

Script and Thumbnails

I've seen other artists annotate the lyrics to the song they are working with and attempted that here. But that process is a little confusing for me, so I kept these descriptions vague. It was helpful in keeping track of ideas, since some of them are faster to write down than draw. Especially for fight sequences.

I used Storyboarder for the thumbnails. I opted for this program because (1) it lets you add an audio file and (2) it has very basic tools. It can be used in a more nuanced way than I did. However, with 3 and a half minutes of frames to work out I needed something that helps me draft down ideas efficiently and without overwhelming me. And this was pretty good program for that.

The script and thumbnails happened in tandem a lot of the time. Think of it as brainstorming, both in vague writing and loose drawings. At this point I am trying to see if these ideas flow with the song, if they are readable, if they achieve what I had in mind.

___

Studies

Okay. So I am happy with my ideas. Now. How do I make sure the drawings are identifiable as taking place in the game?

This is where those in-game references came in handy. I looked back at my thumbnails and made a list of everything I would need. From characters to locations. Once I had these down, I made folders to make sure everything would be nice and organized.

I tend to avoid backgrounds like the plague. However, for some of these shots to work I need to give the viewer a sense of where the action is taking place. I know that I struggle imagining three-dimensional spaces while drawing digitally. So, using my thumbnails and the references I gathered, I did studies of all the locations I thought would be important using good old paper and ink. This also served to fine-tune shot compositions.

___

Drawing

The animatic itself was drawn using Krita. Usually, I worked on all the backgrounds using the studies as a base and then added the characters. My drawings started very rough for a couple of reasons. The main one was that with ~200 frames ahead of me I was afraid of letting my inner perfectionist get me stuck. I kept reminding myself that, being an animatic, the drawings could be rough as long as they are still readable. As I got more comfortable using Krita, I was able to create cleaner backgrounds.

Even so, I hit an art block around the two minute mark where I Could Not Draw. This is where I heavily relied on those References I Keep Talking About. They were my savior and are the main cause for the more "finished" look towards the end of the animatic. I think the best example of this was the shot featuring Thanatos. I was deep in the art block territory by the time I needed to go from thumbnail (top left) to final frame. No matter how much I redrew them, I didn't like how they turned out (top right). To work this out, I found references from The Pose Archives and used them as a guide (bottom left) to get a sketch that I liked (bottom right). I felt this look was more sketchy than I've would like so I ended up cleaning it. I followed a similar process for most of the frames following this one. As a result, the final frames of the video turned out cleaner.

___

Editing

Once I had all my frames ready to go, I imported them into HitFilm Express and made a composite shot where I basically just matched the timing of the frames to the music. Frames that have camera movements (like the very first frame) were made in their own composite shots. I ended up having to delete some frames so some sections didn't feel rushed. In the end, there's like 5 versions of the animatic because I kept making little changes. The biggest was adding Zag's dialogue at the beginning since I felt the video started up too quiet. I don't have any images for this stage. Please have this comparison instead.

___

Random Facts ✨

Adding color was a last minute decision, it was mainly because I thought a colorful sunset would be prettier. My original plan was to shift the gray tones of the background into more yellowish tones once Zagreus reaches the surface, but keeping everything monochromatic.

If you pause quickly on the very last frame you'll see I accidentally made Zag's leggings black instead of red. I was on auto pilot at this point. Adding color was worth it overall but so time consuming. My respects to people who do fully colored animatics.

I wish I made Meg a pinker (or blue) hue rather than purple. In my mind I saved purple for characters related to Nyx (hence why Hypnos, Than, Chaos, and Charon have shades of purple). But I guess it is a sweet detail because of how Meg confides in Nyx in the game.

I kept a log of all my progress. Apparently getting the thumbnails done took about five months (August 2023 - January 2024)?? Anyways I leave you with these entries.

___

Thank you for reading! I hope it goes without saying but I really appreciate all the support this animatic has received. All the hearts and comments and tags, they mean a lot.

[bonesandthebees]

as an adult fanfiction writer myself (i'm in my 20s, too), it's really impressive how much progress you've made with your writing. how do you balance writing with other adult priorities? this is what i struggle myself; i want to be able to write, but i don't seem to have enough time. i recently deleted all my old drafts and most of my outlines so i could focus on writing a few stories in mind. idk if this is the way to go, but i made my decision.

p.s. i'm on my way to read your sbi stories, they sound great.

oooo what a good question!

well, for one thing I think I need to say that I'm technically unemployed at the moment (and technically have been for the past year due to family stuff going on) which definitely gives me more time to write compared to if I had a full time job. but at the same time I do kind of have a job? I don't like revealing too many details about my personal life on this blog, but let's just say I kind of work for a family member (but I don't get paid for it). either way, I do have more free time than the average 23 year old probably does so that certainly helps

at the same time though, I actually wrote more while I was a full time uni student. like, I wrote clinic in 6 months during my senior year of uni. still not sure how I did that one. so maybe it's not the unemployment thing lol

ok I rambled a bit too much on this so I'm going to put it under the cut

either way, I do have a lot of daily responsibilities that I have to schedule my writing around which does present a challenge. I'd say two major things contribute to me being able to write so much: one, I just write way faster than most people can write. And two: I put a lot of effort into recognizing the scope of my own abilities, and try not to put too many projects on my plate at once.

with the whole being able to write really fast thing, that's the result of years and years of intensive writing practice. from the time I was around 13-14ish, I started trying to write almost daily. around 15 is when I discovered fanfic, and once I was actually able to write things I could post online and get feedback on, whenever I sat down for a near daily writing session my goal would be to write a minimum of 1k words. a lot of the time I missed this goal, but it was fine and I just kept trying, not beating myself up too much about it because I viewed it all as practice. I wanted to get really good at writing, which is why I just kept at it, knowing it would get easier with time. and it did!

in short, practicing writing, any writing at all regardless of if it's going to be published or not, will help you get faster at writing. now this is going to conflict with the next thing I talk about, but I digress

now, the easier thing to emulate is managing the projects you work on. in my head I have about 3 categories of wips—actively working on to publish, off to the side dormant that I'm either planning on getting to or I might get around to, and never going to see the light of day but I'm working on it just for myself. if I decide to mentally move a wip into the 'active' category, I need to make sure it's the type of story I'm going to enjoy working on and will be able to complete. then when I have free time, I know that's going to be a top priority and I need to focus on that before other things. if I have a wip in the dormant category, if I have free time and I either don't have anything I need to actively work on to publish (like if I just posted a chapter the day before) or I really just don't want to work on my active wips, then I can take a second look at my dormant wip outlines and see if writing any of them gets the juices flowing. then there's the never see the light of day wips, and those I can write at any time because it's just for me, and yeah I should prioritize the active wips over them and I usually will, but also writing is a hobby I enjoy first and foremost. and also, any writing practice will help you. so even if you don't plan to publish it, writing a self indulgent thing will help you get faster, build stamina, improve your writing—all of that stuff.

so I think what you described with deleting old outlines/drafts makes sense, but also I never delete my old writing drafts just bc I love seeing my progress over the years but that's just me. but either way, making an effort to focus on active wips is a smart move, but also remember that not everything you write has to be published. the more practice you get with writing (and by that I mean literally any writing at all), the easier it's going to be to write longer things and finish them. you build that stamina like a muscle, and it can take a very long time to build it up enough, but it's definitely worth it in the end.

also just experiment with how you outline and plan stuff in a way that works for your brain, because when you have to write around adult responsibilities you have to streamline things as much as possible. despite the fact that I started writing fic at 15, I struggled so much with finishing long fics until I started writing for dsmp when I had just turned 21. and that's because I figured out a new outlining method that worked perfectly for my brain. it was a combination of planning some things, but not everything so that I kept myself interested in the story. experiment with how much or how little you plan your stories, because when you have a limited time to write, you want it to be something you're interested in and able to dive right into writing.

sorry this was so long winded, I really suck at giving short answers sometimes. hope that helps though! remember, the most important thing is that you're enjoying what you're doing :)

[avocado-frog]

notes on wip drafts because it's been about a year since I've been posting here and because i have not posted real writing stuff in ages and because i'm awesome and i can do whatever i want

really long watch out

Draft 1- -Characters: Leo, Cass, Marcy, Kai, Addy -Leo + Cass are twins, Marcy is their adoptive sister from France, Addy was their adoptive sister from Ireland, Kai was Leo's friend from school -Written in first person POV -The twins were 14, Kai was 13, Marcy was 12, Addy was 11 -Written sometime late 2019 on Wattpad -Written during my ninja turtles era, each character loosely based on one of the turtles + April (Leo as Leonardo, Cass as Donatello, Addy as Michelangelo, Marcy -Leo's full name really is just Leo and no last name -Leo gets a wolverine claw sort of thing that is also a flamethrower -Leo gets in a fight with Marcy over a board game, runs off, gets stolen right out of the woods for Plot Purposes, goes missing for like six months, the other kids get exactly one chapter of looking for her, and then there's three chapters of Mind Control Leo -The end of the first draft was between my ninja turtles hyperfixation and my tangled the series hyperfixation and I know this because I had a song chapter of crossing the line between the twins

Draft 2- -Characters: Leo, Cass, Kai, Marcy, Addy -Written in first person POV -Written a month or two after the first draft -Mostly the same plot but Leo is taken to a cabin instead of a warehouse -Didn't last very long, because it was really only Leo and writing a story with only one character is sort of hard

Draft 3- -Characters: Leo, Cass, Kai, Marcy, Addy -Leo and Kai were romantically involved (ew) -First person POV -Same ages as the other two -Kai follows Leo before she gets kidnapped, somehow they end up in Canada -First establishes the setting in Maine -Leo burns down the cabin with a match (the kids don't have magic yet) -Kai and Leo spend way too much time trying to get from Canada to Maine -Like they go to Mexico for some reason -I remember writing the last chapter during online history class with the Worst Teacher Ever in seventh grade so I had to have been like 13-14/mid 2021 because I started going half online half offline sometime in April

Draft 4- -Characters: Leo, Cass, Kai, Marcy, Addy, Ryan, Sam, Elliot -Written when I started getting into DuckTales. Hence the triplets -They're seven years old -Created so that Leo + Kai have more stakes -They save the triplets but at the cost of me losing motivation after that

Draft 5- -Characters: Leo, Cass, Kai, Marcy, Addy, Ryan, Sam, Elliot -But I got attached to their characters so I kept them -It changed to third person POV -Leo's full name is Leonidas for fucking no reason -Kai is no longer part of the main plot and no longer a love interest because I didn't like writing it -The triplet's backstory is that they're the kids of the people that have stolen Leo, but that their mother died when they were like two -So now they're locked in a basement and so is Leo -Elliot's completely blind -Leo once again saves the kids but has a villain arc in the process -Proceeds to kidnap Cass with a stolen car, builds a robot army, gets blown up -Brief redemption arc follows after Leo goes to jail for a bit

Draft 6- -Leo, Cass, Kai, Marcy, Addy, Ryan, Sam, Elliot, Logan (Lily, Dylan, and Jaxon are there, but they aren't named) -The longest one I have -Written a little while after draft five, because I wanted to give Leo some friends in jail -Leo breaks out of jail with the other kids, but Logan is the only named one -And he has a wildly different name but I'm not going to tell you what it was -The first time I decided to give the twins magic. Since the other three were side characters and horribly underdeveloped they didn't get anything. Leo gets decay and fire, Cass gets healing and plants -Logan goes back to jail but Leo doesn't. Logan's magic involves metal and ice -First lab concept, but the kids are in prison

Draft 6's sequel -Some Prophecy Bullshit -The kids have to go find Logan (he's sixteen or something) -They get him out of jail, he steals a school bus -I can't remember much, I abandoned it when I couldn't figure out what to do with the prophecy bullshit. Something about portals

Draft 6's third book -Leo, Cass, Kai, Marcy, Addy, Ryan, Sam, Elliot, Logan, Lily, Jaxon, Dylan -Lasted like three chapters -I wrote it while I was figuring out what to do with the sequel -But Jaxon, Lily, and Dylan show up -Jaxon and Dylan were 12 and 11, and Lily was 13 (twins are still 14) -Lily was Leo's new romantic interest (this is why Leo is canonically bi) -Jaxon and Dylan were placeholder names -I can't remember whether Dylan was always deaf or not, I deleted the thing -Written in 2021

Draft 7- -Leo, Cass, Kai, Marcy, Addy, Ryan, Sam, Elliot, Logan, Lily, Dylan, Jaxon -A rewrite of draft 6, but meets the other kids + Logan -Leo overthrows the government with them

Draft 8- -Instead of going to jail, Leo meets them because she gets jumped in an alley by Jaxon and Logan makes him leave her alone -Her villain arc includes them now -Concept that Leo can't be burned because of her fire magic -The triplets are adopted by Kai's family, they get a larger role

Draft 9- -Logan is a little nicer now, he lets Leo stay with her, and does not like her family -He's got beef with seven-year-olds -Not many changes, I just wanted to write it again -The lab is introduced but I didn't really have any ideas for it -I posted this one

Draft 9's sequel- -Sort of like draft 6's sequel, wanted to try again -Characters with a villain arc in draft 9/the sequel: Leo, Jaxon, Lily, Dylan, Logan, Elliot, Cass, Ryan -Characters without a villain arc in draft 9/the sequel: Kai, Marcy, Sam, Addy -The earliest version of forget-me-not chapter 17 (Ryan gets pushed into a lake and nearly drowns) here it's he falls into a lake while the kids are trying to learn to water raft (in both versions, he's alone with Jaxon) -Elliot, the blind seven-year-old child, gets a villain arc -I remember this specifically because Leo has a line like "can't we just pick him up and put him somewhere else??" -I know for a fact that Dylan is deaf here -Because I still have this version -For some reason, Sam has a snake -Leo's afraid of snakes and Marcy is afraid of ducks -or something?? -Written June 2021

Draft 10- -The whole story is completely scrapped -Written in December 2021 -With six months between drafts nine and ten, I decided to redo a lot of plot stuff -Logan is aged up to eighteen, Dylan remains eleven, Jaxon remains twelve, and Lily is thirteen. The triplets are aged up to ten. The twins are fourteen still -Logan is aged up because he buys a house -Triplet's backstory is changed. Their names are briefly changed to Adrian, Emile, and Ethan -Logan's sister, Jasmine, is created for the first time, just to be immediately killed -One of the closest to canon -Part one is Leo, part two is Jaxon, part three is Elliot -Leo runs away after learning the truth about her parents (they're really her parents here) (whatever the truth is is not expanded on because I never got farther than an outline) and meets Jaxon, because they're both in the middle of robbing a gas station -Cass does not join Leo in meeting them -The first time it was set in 2018-2019 -The first time I allowed myself to use swears The outline since I have it (but it's the tldr version) 1- Leo is a drug dealer (?? girl-) 2- The twins fight, Addy gives Leo a clue about their parents (how does she know) (never expanded on) 3- The twin's birthday, Kai's POV, he's roped into the situation by Cass 4- Leo runs away, steals a car, and meets Jaxon while they're robbing a gas station 5- Jaxon and Leo officially meet, during a storm, Jaxon breaks into her hotel room because he's figured out that she's magic 6- Jaxon and Leo get a Subway sandwich, and Jaxon bullies Logan into letting Leo live with them 7- Lily and Leo set up Leo's room 8- Leo and Dylan go to the store, Dylan sees their parents + gets upset over it. Leo + Dylan bonding hours 9- Leo and Jaxon go to the lab 10- They meet Ryan and Sam. Sam's been poisoned, Ryan doesn't know the antidote. Since the twist is that Leo made the drugs used on them, she knows what to do. Jaxon gets Elliot 11- Logan lets the triplets live with them 12- Jaxon tries to set up Lily and Leo 13- The Christmas chapter (an actual line from the outline: "Leo doesn't respond because she's too gay and ice skating with her girlfriend") 14- A lot like forget me not where Elliot overhears that the twins are his sisters and he gets upset, but this time, since the twins are not related to them, he overhears that Leo made the drugs used on him 15- Jaxon's backstory. No elaboration in the outline I was just supposed to hope for the best 16- Ryan is only now learning sign language for Dylan, Lily talks to Elliot with throwing knives, Logan + Sam bonding hours 17- Another version- ironically chapter seventeen- where Jaxon is the only one around when Ryan gets pushed into a lake. This time he lands himself in the hospital for trying to save him because he can't swim 18- The kids find out that Jax is brain damaged 19- Logan convinces Leo to text Cass (she has not talked to Cass since chapter two) 20- The kids go to Maine for a week. Cass, Kai, Marcy, and Addy are all really weirded out by Leo's character development which is honestly really fair 21- Elliot + Cass talk hours 22- The kids go to a carnival 23- Sam apologizes for What He Did (not elaborated on) and Elliot goes bonkers mode 24- Elliot meets "Lucas" who tells him that Lily can help 25- Lily Knows Something (not elaborated on) that apparently has to do with their mother's death for some reason. Not a clue how Lily should know, she's about as detached from their backstory as one could get 26- I had only written "figure it out from here" and since forget me not is based on this outline (with a lot of changes) it's probably the reason I forgot to make a canon outline for chapter 26 27- Triplet backstory 28- Ryan sees Elliot talking to himself in the mirror 29- Elliot learns to use his magic properly 30- The triplets fight 31- Elliot dies

Draft 10 sequel -Lasted one chapter but it was alright -Elliot's dead but some weird infection bullshit happens (plot of Dahlia) -Like a zombie apocalypse -Also Leo's thing with classic novels is established -Leo has a Frankenstein motif the whole time -All I remember is that Leo became some weird demon thing and tried to kill Jaxon over it

Draft 11- -Final canon forget-me-not -Written about a year ago (I know this because I made the outline a day before my last day of school to see if I could finish by the end of summer) (I could not) -I cut Addy out because I didn't like her -Logan was aged to 22, the twins to 16, Kai and Lily to 15, Jaxon to 14, Dylan remained 11, and the triplets remained 10 -I struggled for a while before outlining to come up with a title, it was going to be different nursery rhymes, and then different songs, and then random synonyms for fire, before I decided I liked flowers -So each character was given a flower -Instead of coming up with names for titles, I attached dates so that I could stress myself out with a timeline 👍

Some other extra things: -Jaxon had tourettes but I forgot -Leo was trans but now Jaxon is -I had a version that was like 500 words long where Ryan just goes on a stab people spree -Elliot had cataracts for a minute -The triplet's mother's name was Amelia for a long time

[samssims]

Hi, I was hoping to ask for some advice but feel free to ignore this if you don't want to answer! I don't mind! Have you ever felt, over the course of posting on tumblr, embarrassed that people were reading your stuff? (Your posts are amazing though, so I can't see why but that's what I've been feeling.) Even though I love my sims and I love writing and sharing, I get embarrassed when I see people reading them and I don't know how to get over it 😅 I didn't know if anyone else felt this way, so I thought I'd ask. Thank you so much!

Hi Nonny!!!

Sorry this took me WAY too long to reply to. I haven't been on my laptop much between NaNo and work and reading and Pokemon. It's a struggle to balance it all.

But onto your question! I'll answer below the cut since it gets kind of long.

I don't think it was ever embarrassment for me per se. It was more of a "oh god what if no one likes it" type of feeling which can turn into embarrassment of even posting it. If you crave instant validation, this is not the place for you.

By that I mean, yes, you get instant validation here, sometimes. Notes are not forever. Followers come and go. It is just the way of the internet in this fast pace grabby grabby for new content world.

But for the most part, just post what YOU want to post and other people will like it. Chances are you are not the only person in the world who likes what you like. It might take a while to find your people, but when you do, this place is a great place to be.

To properly find your audience, here are a few things you can do:

Interact with people who post stuff similar to yours! (Likes and Comments and Reblogs, oh my!)

Tag your posts properly so other people can find it!

And mostly, just do it for you. It's a little redundant but honestly if you are having fun then it will show in your posts!

My very firsts posts got like no notes. Seriously you can see that on my old blog. But I didn't let that stop me! I kept going and just posting the stories I wanted to. And eventually I found my people and the crowd who likes my stuff and here we are.

Truth be told Nonny, we're all playing sims and using tumblr, we should all be embarrassed. 😂 You cannot get more cringe than that.

If it does cause you stress to share that part of yourself, you do not have to! You can keep things in the drafts or change characters/events in stories so they don't line up so much with real life. Or you can use writing and sims to work through those things. It's all valid on the internet.

I am not sure if that helps at all, but I sure hope it offers you something!

[hollywoodsargeant]

🌈 for boyish?

🌈 What inspired you to write [insert fic here]?

ah! yes. a mix of a few things ig? for starters i have Always been compelled by the childhood friends narrative of loscar. i am always compelled by childhood friend narratives tbh... but like. they have fr known each other for SO long and that is something that could be so special to me... but i don't really write a lot of childhood friends to lovers? then before miami when oscar posted that fucking picture i was like Okay. i'm gonna lose my mind. i need to write a fic. but i didn't know what to write so i like bookmarked it in mybrain

Then. i remembered this old novel wip i had rotting away in my google drive... which i was working on last april actually after i finished the first draft of my novel that is now a mostly polished manuscript (not the point but i'm proud of it) and it never really surmounted to much bc idk it was a mess. but the gist of it is/was two boys who meet when they're really young (4) and grow up together and are each other's firsts for a lot of things but never date. it was kind of a soulmates thing with just. the idea of meeting your soulmate as a kid and not fully realizing it until you're an adult. so they grow up together and date other people and all that but in the end they come together, like they were always supposed to, and it feels kind of inevitable? does any of this even make sense

POINT IS. really old novel wip. with original characters and all that. i forgot about it completely for a year then i was literally Out for once in my life and i just. remembered it existed. and was like. Oh My God that's loscar. "it's like we can't get away from each other" core. that's wild. i am going to repurpose it. so i'm repurposing it. the first kiss scene and the first meeting scene are both repurposed not word for word but i wrote them with two tabs up. and there are some more scenes i swiped directly from my old project (the whole entire thing about how old they're both supposed to be before they can start kissing and also a bunch of stuff i haven't posted yet) but a lot of what i've been writing is new. the oldest i wrote Either of those characters for that project was 14 so

and it's funny bc obv that project had two characters but neither of them were clearly oscar or logan so it depended on the scene who i would give what lines to and i kept getting confused. Whoops

[imogenleewriter]

10 writer asks

Thanks for tagging me @enchantedlandcoffee

What is your absolute all-time favourite idea you've ever had?

So when I talk about my WIP's, I refer to one of them as 'My big fic' and that's because... um, it's going to be big... that one. But I have two others to finish before that one.

2. Is there a question you've been asked in the past that really stands out to you and you still think about sometimes?

If I'm okay, lol. A commenter once said that I write too well to be mentally stable and then asked me if I was doing okay and if there was anything I wanted to talk about. I still think about it quite often.

I am okay, by the way. Well, as well as I can be.

3. What is your favorite part of being a writer? What parts could you take or leave?

Favourite: - Generally the actual writing. - Creating stories and goals, motivations, and conflicts. - Developing well-rounder, believable characters. - Dialogue. - My readers. I just, can't ever even begin to explain how much I love them and the, well, everything.

My 4-month-old fic is the 17th most commented Larry fic of all time. EVER! Out of 42k fics. It's like 1600th with kudos which just shows how dedicated the readers I have are.

Leave: - How little time there is in the day. Sometimes my head is full of ideas, but I can't get them down fast enough. - I'm not going to say what because then people will go looking for them in everything I write and see them, lol, but I have some definite weaknesses in my writing technique. I would rather just not have them... so if I could just be good at everything, that would be great. - Drafting. I NEED drafts. Can't/shouldn't write without them, but I get so antsy because I just want to publish things.

4. What is your greatest motivation to write/create?

Readers. Honestly. I would struggle to get things done anywhere near as quickly without them. Reading. Often reading other people's stuff makes me want to get up and write my own. Deadlines. I've found that I need deadlines to survive. Without them I just waste time.

5. What is the best piece of advice you've ever read or bee given as a writer?

SO much stuff. I could honestly write out 1k of my favourite writing quotes. Three that stuck with me when I was writing YCHIITS were: - The thing you are most afraid to write - write that. (unknown) - Art should comfort the disturbed and distrub the comfortable. (Banksy) - Write hard and clear about what hurts (Hemingway)

Me: It was never meant to be angsty. Also, me: Those three quotes are what kept me going.

6. What do you wish you knew when you were first starting out writing?

Psssssh, um. Like ever, or publishing? I wish I spent more time editing YCHIITS because there are so many grammatical errors that I STILL go back and fix up issues. It would have been a lot quicker to take a bit more time editing chapters before posting them, rather than going back months later and editing them.

7. What is your favourite story you've written TO COMPLETION? Link it if you'd like and can

Um. I mean, at the moment, you can guess, lol.

8. What is your favourite out-of-the-box quote?

This whole thing is making me sound mentally unstable, lol. But someone sent me this the others day and I posted it. - "You write so beautifully... the inside of your mind must be a terrible place."

9. Which of your characters would you say has the most controversial mindset? Why do you say so, and how do you personally feel about their ideals?

Oooh. I don't know if this means general characters or ones whose POV I've written in. I think by the end, 99% of people said Zayn was their favourite character, but he also got a fair bit of dislike early on. I don't think his character changed so much, as he just started to make sense. If it's just POV characters - Louis by default because it couldn't be Harry.

10. If you, when you first started writing met you now, what would younger you think?

So when I was 18, I put "finishing a book" at the top of my bucket list. I'd say probably five years ago, I was like, "Okay, if I want to write, I should probably... start." That I would be very confused about the fact I was writing One Direction fan fiction because I didn't even like 1D, but would still be so proud. It's never been about getting something published, just writing something that I like and people read.

[rezdragon]

2014 and My Writing

I just wrote about this in the script I'm working on, but I thought I'd go a little more in detail in a separate post. I've talked about this before on Twitter a few years back, but writing a script about it has put some fresh perspective into my head. Let me tell you about the time that I went from obsessively writing nearly every day, to not writing at all for three years.

I say that I have always been a storyteller, as growing up, I made tons of stories with the toys in my room and each day was like a new episode in the complicated plot of "The Beanie Babies On My Bed."

2006 is when I really started using a computer regularly, but it was 2007 when I wrote my first short story, which was like twelve pages long (which is long for a 12 year old). And from then on, I was hooked on writing. Every year or so, it seemed like I had some kind of new story going on. Not because I finished the previous ones mind you, I would just get bored of it, or the idea became too big and I couldn't finish it. Orintheous' first backstory was developed around this time (that's how old she is).

When I was introduced to Smash Machinima in 2008, it was a match made in heaven for me. A lot of the stuff I was writing was just loose video game fanfiction and now suddenly I could make that real? Sign me up, 13 year old me was PUMPED.

And so in between my school work, I would be writing up scripts and other various short stories for machinima. I still have dozens of scripts for projects that never got a voice. This absolutely affected my attention in class except for English. Thanks to my constant writing, I excelled at English, especially the writing assignments.

My high grades in English continued into my high school years (also where my deep depression started), and by 10th grade, I was completely BURIED in writing a novel with a fantasy setting (Note: Do not have your first novel be a fantasy setting). I filled up several notebooks with drafts of short stories, scenes, and scripts. And when I wasn't trapped at school, I'd pour hours into Microsoft Word, making more short stories, scripts, etc. I just loved writing.

One of my proudest moments was in my creative writing class. The teacher gave us the blank assignment of writing a short story, but it had to be under 5 pages. I, the obsessive writer, argued that 5 pages was too short, and told her I had a 12 page story for her. She told me that if that story sucked and wasn't written well, she would outright give me an F on the assignment for making it over 5 pages.

I got an A.

In that same class, we had to submit poetry to this American Poetics Society or something like that, and I wrote a poem in 20 minutes about how I hated summer. And not only did I get a A on that assignment, that poem got selected to be in that year's published book of young authors (a book I SADLY COULDN'T BUY).

I kinda fell out of writing by 2013 because of d e p r e s s i o n, but I still had a lot of pride in my writing. Once I got out of school (and machinima) I sadly didn't have much to write about anymore, but I still kept up on it with fanfiction.

And then we get to college.

So in 2014, I was forced to go to college for a number of reasons, but the bottom line is that I did not entirely choose to attend college. To make it worth my while, I went for a degree in Graphic Design. I took a few fine art classes too, and I did learn something from those that I still apply to my work today. And I also took English 1, under the guise that it would be an "easy class" for me to get out of the way early.

It was not. Suddenly, the writing that let me fly through high school English without a thought was getting C's and D's. Even long essays I had to write about books we read were failing. I also couldn't pass any of the tests; I couldn't understand what was happening. For the first time in my life I was failing English? Me? Someone who considered themselves a writer?! And don't think I didn't try. The professor I had wasn't an asshole, he was great, and he tried his best to help me pass the class, but something just did not click and I failed English 1. This was during an already rough time in my life, so I didn't take this failing very well. I stopped writing, just full stop. And I wouldn't write again for some time.

Fast forward to 2017, I'm watching all of my old machinima from back in the day, feeling a little sad that I never finished what I had started. I decide to jump back in (for various reasons), and I was planning on working on a previously failed machinima series, but then I made a joke video on April 24th of 2017...

This joke video was a machinima called "Orintheous Declares War On RyeDragon." It was a word for word remake of a video made by PMK94 when he declared war on me for switching my Smashsona to Lucario back in 2009. That original video spawned an entire video series where PMK and I went back and forth trying to one up each other like the children we were.

Well, this joke video, made 8 years after the original, woke PMK up from retirement, and he responded to the video with a machinima of his own. I was so thrown by this because I honestly did not expect this and I thought: "I have to follow this up with my own video."

And for the first time in 3 years, I wrote an original script, performed it, and published it to the world, that video being "Orintheous' Plan Begins." And once again, PMK and I went back and forth with each other, spawning the original Orintheous' Revenge.

The scripts for the original OR were the first bits of completely original writing I had done in 3 years. I mean it when I say I went from writing almost nonstop to not writing at all. I didn't write anything in those three years and I honestly feared I would never regain my love for writing. But a silly little series about recolored Charizards reignited my spark, and while it took awhile to make a flame, that flame exploded in 2021.

By 2021, I got my love of writing back in full force, and once again, it was thanks to Orintheous' Revenge. I spent the first half of 2021 working religiously on writing the plot and other elements for OR, just like I had done before for my fantasy novel. Orintheous' Revenge was merely the warmup though, preparing for the main event of 2021, which would be The Disaster Archives.

All of the writing I do for TDA today would not be possible had it not been for Orintheous' Revenge. College nearly killed the writer in me, but Orintheous, the god of life, brought it back. As I am currently writing a 46 page script about the events of 2021, three years after the fact, it honestly feels weird to me to even think about the fact that I went three years without writing anything. I'm back to being incredibly dedicated to it, just as much as I am to my art.

I have always been a storyteller, and I will tell my story, either with recolored Charizards or beanie babies on my bed. I'm not super vocal about calling myself a writer, but if you ask me, I will gladly tell you:

"Yes, I am a writer."

More specifically, I call myself a script writer, as I love writing dialogue. I don't think I could ever write a novel again haha.

[cottoncandyjester]

I remember a long time ago you said you wrote about darling meeting the child version of the yan boys, are you going to post that?, pls don't make it sad, I just want to give them some hugs.

Oooh let’s play with this a little bit I have some childhood friend au stuff in my drafts that I might finish that touch on more child versions of the yan boys but for now have this

Decided to do my two favorite families

Warning this contains: sprinkles of sadness

“I will explain the rules one more time, you get to go back to meet them, no one else but them can see you so you’ll be stealing the role as their imaginary friend that way they won’t freak out when they see you~ try not to mess around with things back there too much okay?”

You listened to the demon speaking and a nervous feeling bubbles over you, you were absolutely curious and slightly scared.

“Whose past do you want to visit”

You took a deep breath, closed your eyes and chose…

Hikaru:

You looked around, was this a beach? There wasn’t really anyone else there but you soon heard a loud laughing that made you perk up. “Seashells seashells shiny pretty seashells~” you heard happy singing nod followed it seeing a little child putting seashells in a bucket.

“What are you doing there?” You asked softly as you kneeled down, Hikaru looked up at you with a curious gaze before a bright smile appeared on his face and he went back to looking for seashells.

“I’m looking for seashells cause I’m making a seashell necklace!” He cheered out with a happy little humming. “A seashell necklace? Why?” You asked out making him huff “you’re so silly! It’s so I can lure a mermaid and marry her!” He said proudly.

His statement made you laugh as you reached out and poked his chubby cheek “why do you want a mermaid bride huh? What about me? Do I make a pretty bride?” You asked jokingly. He looked at you with a hum before reading into the bucket and seashells, now taking out a shiny one before handing it to you.

“You would make a pretty bride! But you’re not a mermaid..mama said that mermaids have pretty voices! I wanna sing with one!” He cheered out with a grin.

“Hikaru, come on we’re leaving!” A distant voice called for him making him jolt before he started to run off now hugging the bucket close. He stopped before looking back at you “if I can’t find a mermaid I’ll just marry you so don’t get old and gross!” He called out before waving and rushing away.

Yuuji and Yuuta:

You opened your eyes, now sitting on a bed seeing two kids sitting on the floor…why were they in this room alone?

“Yumi and yachi! You aren’t getting what you want by starving yourselves now open this door!” You heard kenji’s voice now moving to the floor with the two boys. “Why are you two doing this?” You asked out and they looked at you before an expression of familiarity covered their faces.

“Papa is being a meanie and doesn’t wanna call us by our new names” Yuuta hissed out. “We won’t leave til we get what we want!” Yuuji snapped out. “Oh? How long has it been?” You asked curiously.

“Two days..” Yuuta said with a whimper “y-Yuuji, d-do you think mommy misses us?” He asked softly with a pouty expression. Yuuta gulped “o-of course! She has to!” He chimed out, you didn’t realize just how hard the boys had to work to get the acceptance they deserved.

“B-but mommy is having the baby s-soon so what if she replaces us c-cause we are bad kids?!” Yuuta said before starting to cry. Yuuji hugged him close “s-she w-wouldn’t do that! She loves us!” Yuuji said firmly.

You reached out pulling both boys in for a tight hug, a shaky sigh escaping you “your parents must really miss you, maybe you should tell them how you feel” you said softly. 

“We should tell him how we feel!” Yuuji chimed out with a grin

“Papa..?” Yuuta called out, hearing shuffling “yeah?” Kenji said softly with a soft sniffle..was he crying?

“Me and Yuuji don’t wanna be girls anymore, can we be boys instead..please?” He said softly.

There was a few moments of silence before a soft chuckle escaped kenji “Yuuta..Yuuji, please come out and eat, momma and papa misses their boys”

You watched at Yuuji rushed to the door opening it seeing Kenji was sitting on the ground outside the door. The two nearly tackled the male hugging him tightly.

Kenji hugged them tightly peppering kisses all over their faces “god I was so damn worried, don’t worry me like that..I’m getting old yknow don’t scare your papa like that” he said softly.

Seeing this made you really curious..is this why the twins defended and protected their father so much? You had a lot of questions.

Mateo:

The sounds of loud cheering made you flinch, the sight of kids swimming made you focus. You saw mateo, he was winning. Before you could process your mind you found yourself yelling “you got this baby!” You cheered out before realizing the situation you were in. You were so used to cheering for him during his games that it came natural.

You noticed mateo slowed down, the adrenaline stopping for just a moment before he kept going but it was too late, he ended up getting second place. The sight of him being upset as he stared at the medal, tears blurring his vision.

“You shouldn’t cry, you were so amazing” you said softly as you kneeled down looking at the boy. He sniffles and wipes his tears only for more to fall “I-I got tired, I-I forgot to breathe like I’ve been practicing..I-I forgot..I always forget” mateo sobbed out, his wailing growing louder and louder. “Mama and papa couldn’t even show up, I-i t-tried my best a-and-” you pulled him in for a hug, hands shaking lightly. He was so fragile..it made your heart hurt.

“you did the best you could, you always do your best. Didn’t you have fun?” You said softly as you looked at him, mateo glanced down with a sniffle before nodding slowly. “Y-yeah, s-swimming is always fun” he said softly as he messed with the medal around his neck.

“Then, be proud. You were amazing mateo! You went so fast!” You cheered out, your excited tone made him even more excited “r-really?! Hehe! I was like zoom! Super zoom!” He chimed out.

“Teo!” The sound of Dante’s voice made mateo perk up “ah! Dante!” He cheered out, you softly nudged mateo forward “tell him how fast you went” you said softly, watching mateo rush off nearly tipping from utter excitement.

Tiago:

You expected a young tiago to be just like his normal self, gentle and soft maybe even quiet. You definitely weren’t expecting the first sight you saw was a young tiago to be climbing trees and jumping off them. “Wow you’re like Tarzan huh?” You asked out as you watched him with a grin.

“Tarzan got nothing on me!” He cheered out happily, apparently him and his parents were on a cabin vacation to relax his mom before the baby comes. “Oh yeah?” You cooed out with a grin “but Tarzan has a Jane, you don’t have that” you teased making him stop and pause. Tiago sat on a branch and gave a soft hum.

“Okay you’ll be my Jane!” He cheered out before standing ontop of the branch. “That way I’m still better than Tarzan” he chimed out as he held his arms out now walking along the thick branch.

“I dunno if I wanna be Jane.” You said jokingly, Tiago huffs “too late! You’re Jane! I already decided! No take backs!” He said stubbornly. Seeing Tiago like this made you really happy, he is never this carefree and bubbly with you in present time.

“Hmm okay Tarzan, what’s your favorite animal?”

“Ha! That’s easy! Dogs are the best things in the world! They are so loyal and you can sit on their back and use them as horses!” He chimed out, now balancing on one foot as he stood on the branch.

“You shouldn’t actually do that, just ride a horse” you mumbled out making him huff as he looked at you “I never rode a real horse before” he said softly before a cracking noise got your attention. “H-hey you should get down”

“No way! Tarzan would never-” the branch snapped and Tiago came falling down, in a surge of panic you caught him both of you falling down as Tiago sat on your chest now shaking.

“T-that was..so cool! You’re the coolest Jane ever!” He cheered out with a large smile, you on the other hand did not find that cool and glared lightly at tiago..maybe it’s better if he wasn’t this hyper in present times.

“Be careful next time yeah?” You said softly as you sat up now messing with his hair. Tiago looked at you in utter awe before he heard his father calling him.

He got off you before sticking his tongue out at you “blehhh! Bye Jane! Let’s play again okay?” He said happily before running off “papa! papa! I climbed a tree!”

Zeke:

“I don’t think you should be doing this” you said softly to zeke as he placed the Last pot on the ground before grabbing the wooden spoons. “Mama is at work and papa is taking a nap, it’s okay! Plus I wanna play drums” Zeke said before starting to bang the spoon against the pots loudly.

You flinched and winced, the loud noise would definitely get him in huge trouble. You softly grabbed his hands stopping him “how about we do something else instead? You like music yeah? How about we sing?” You said nervously with a smile.

Zeke stared at you before humming and nodding “okay! Let’s sing!” He cheered out happily. You and zeke ended up singing a bunch of different songs before you found yourself humming to zeke as he laid his head in your lap. You ran your fingers through his hair as you started to sing him a lullaby.

“You sound so pretty, like an angel!” Zeke said excitedly before gasping “wait are you an angel?! Can I see your wings?!” He said now sitting up and staring at you. You laughed and glanced away “sorry don’t have wings, if I did you would know” you said softly making him groan as he laid his head back in your lap “boo I wanted to see angel wings, but I guess it’s okay if you aren’t an angel..” he said softly before looking up at you

“Sing me another song!” He cheered out, you simply couldn’t say no to his adorable face so you did just that. You felt his body grow heavier as he slowly fell asleep from you singing.

Dante:

“Why do they say that they are mad? They don’t look angry” dante said as he laid on his stomach reading Alice in wonderland.

“Well mad is another word for crazy” you said softly with a smile, watching him flip the page “why does Alice wanna go home so bad, wonderland is so cool!” He cheered out happily with a smile. “Well she misses her family, wouldn’t you miss your family if you went away somewhere?” You asked him curiously. Dante paused the think before nodding “yeah, I’ll miss Mama and pap and Tiago!” He huffed out as he sat up.

“If i go to wonderland I’ll just take them with me!” He cheered out with a smile, you laughed and sat next to him “I don’t think it works like that” you said softly. He hummed before looking at you “then I’ll bring you! So I won’t be lonely and by myself!” He cheered out with a grin.

He was far too adorable! How was dante this cute as a kid?! “Oh? Okay we’ll go to wonderland one day!” You said excitedly, making the boy stand on his bed “yeah! We’ll drink tea with the mad hatter ooh and paint the roses red!” He exclaimed excitedly, now Jumping on the bed. “It would be like a dream!” He added as he sat back down before a moment of silence came over him.

“If we go to wonderland will you promise not to leave me alone in there, it’s a big biiig place” he said softly as he grabbed your hand giving it a small squeeze. You hugged him with a soft sigh “I promise! We’ll hold hands the entire time so we won’t get lose or separated!”

“Hold hands? Okay!” He cheered out. You spent the rest of the time talking to him about the things he loves like Soccer, fantasy stories and music. He had so much energy and passion that you couldn’t help but sit there and listen to Every word

[septicstories]

Big Life in a Small Town (Part 1)

A/N: This is based on the song "Santa Fe (Prologue)" from the Newsies musical! It's not based on the plot of the musical. The song will be altered a tad, but not too much! In the next part though, I'll have to do some edits. But for now, you've got this... mess? I dunno, I'm writing this before it's done. This is post-X-men Apocalypse, so Peter is in his late 20's.

Genre: Bittersweet fluff

Warnings: alcohol, drinking, mentions of broken limbs, daddy issues, no beta reader, minimal editing

Word count: 1.3k (1,385 words)

The X-mansion was quiet, the cool midnight air only changing currents occasionally when a silver blur sprinted around.

Pietro had his younger brother in his arms, running around. Peter injured his leg a while ago, stuck on crutches. ANd it was killing the young speedster.

And Pietro noticed.

So he scooped his younger brother up out of his room, running him around the mansion's vast yard until he smiled. That's when he brought him up to one of the rooftop balconies of the mansion.

The two siblings weren't the only ones in their family who lived in the mansion. Pietro's twin, Wanda, was fast asleep, her room near the balcony.

Pietro, as immature as he may seem, was wise beyond his years. He'd seen more things than he ever would have wanted to for a 35-year-old man. Hell, anyone would be unsettled when you find your mother died of sickness, and your father was out of the picture when your younger brother was born a few years after.

Pietro and Peter sat on the balcony, a case of beer between the two, a sudden scoff came from the older speedster.

"What's up, you alright?" Peter asked, looking at his brother.

Pietro's eyes were glued to the ground below them, a sour expression on his face.

"Those streets down there," Pietro began, a dry laugh leaving his lips. "They sucked the life right out of our old man. Well, they aren't doing that to me."

Peter pursed his lips, watching as his older brother took a swig of his beer.

Pietro has always hated staying in one place for too long. The mansion hadn't really ever been his favorite place. Staying at their aunt's house in D.C. was something he looked forward to every summer. But, even then, he could only stay there for a few days before needing to go somewhere else. Not just from his need to move, but the U.S. government still wasn't absolutely fond of mutants.

"But everyone wants to come to New York," Peter let out a small chuckle. To an outsider, it'd sound like he was in disbelief, but he understood how Pietro felt.

Staying in one place was hard. But Peter also managed to make himself a family here at the mansion as he grew up. He met the ever-sweet Jean Grey when he was 20 years old. The poor girl had some trauma that no one but Chuck knew about. He got to meet Hank, and Raven, and all of the other younger kids. He thought of them all as his younger siblings.

He couldn't leave.

"You keep your small life in the big city. Give me a big life in a small town."

Pietro's words snapped Peter out of his thoughts, looking to his older brother. Pietro's eyes had lifted from the ground, looking up to the sky.

"They say folks are dying to get here."

"What about you, Piet?"

"Me? I'm dying to get away... to a little town out west that's spankin' new," Pietro said with a grin. "And while I've never been there, I can see it clear as day! If you want, I bet you, you could see it, too.

Peter has always had a particular question on his mind, that he always knew the answer to.

Then why haven't you gone? What's stopping you?

But, as always, Peter kept his mouth shut. He didn't want Wanda and Pietro to leave, as dumb as it may be. They were the only family he had left. Well, that he knew of and that knew of him.

Erik was another person he'd address when he had the courage.

But not...

Not now.

"Close your eyes."

Peter looked at his brother again, who was staring back at him. Honestly, he was waiting for his brother to snap in his face and use what became his favorite phrase after a few movie nights: "Hello, McFly?"

"Come with me, where it's clean and green and pretty, and they went and made a city out of clay."

Clay? A city out of clay? That sounds... odd. Peter hasn't stayed too long in other parts of the world, opting to stick to the Northeast area of the U.S. Occasionally, he'll go further South or a little bit further West. But never past Kansas.

"Why, the minute that you get there, folks will walk right up and say, 'Welcome home, son. Welcome home to Santa Fe!'"

Being called son was something the Maximoff boys wanted more than they would ever elude to. Their father? Out of the picture for the most part, up until they realized he was a terrorist. And he didn't even know about Peter.

Of course, the townsfolk of Santa Fe may not call you "son" as soon as you land on the premise. But, two bastard sons can dream, can't they?

"Planting crops. Splitting rails. Swapping tales around the fire," Pietro's grin grew as he spoke. He really thought about this a lot, didn't he? "Except for Sunday when you lie around all day."

Peter didn't know how much Pietro truly thought about leaving. Pietro's mind was full of places to go and see, places where he could take his family and live without having to deal with attacks from the U.S. government.

Santa Fe was where they'd go next in the U.S., but Sokovia was certainly the next best option. The U.S. government wouldn't come looking for them in Sokovia.

Right?

"Soon your friends are more like family, and they're begging you to stay! Isn't that neat?" Pietro asked as Peter took a large sip from his beer. "Living sweet in Santa Fe."

Pietro trailed off, almost in a dream-like state, making Peter flinch. He really fucking wanted out, huh?

"Hey, no one worries about a bad leg in Santa Fe. You just hop on a palomino, you'll ride in style!" Pietro joked, knocking his shoulder into his brother's.

"Feature me, ridin' in style," Peter giggled, taking a swig of his beer again.

"Hey, I bet a few months of clean air, you could toss that crutch for good!"

"Santa Fe," Peter and Pietro mumbled in unison, one happy and the other more tired. "You can bet, we won't let those bastards beat us. We won't beg anyone to treat us fair and square. There's a life that's worth the living, and I'm gonna do my share."

"Work the land, chase the sun." Pietro ran his hands through his hair, standing up.

"Swim the whole Rio Grande just for fun!" Pietro and Peter shouted together. The two had massive grins spreading across their faces, just happy to see the other smiling.

"Watch me stand!" Peter stood up quickly, only to feel a sharp pain jolt through his bad leg. His hands flew to the balcony railing, gripping it tightly as he let out a choked noise of pain.

"Watch me run..."

Pietro frowned when he saw his brother's grimace, watching Peter set himself down into a sitting position. The poor kid was gritting his teeth and sucking in harsh breaths as he set himself down.

"Hey, hey..." Pietro began softly, sitting down beside his brother before slapping a hand on his shoulder. "Don't you know that we're a family?"

Peter's eyes met Pietro's, painting over his grimace with a weak grin. "Yeah, b--"

"Would I let you down?" Pietro asked.

Peter let out a weak laugh as his brother continued.

"No way. Just hold on, kid, until that train makes Santa Fe."

The younger speedster let out a yawn, leaning his head on his brother's shoulder.

"Let's get you to bed, okay?" Pietro said, only getting a nod from Peter.

Pietro scooped his younger brother up in his arms, speeding through the mansion into Peter's room before setting him down.

"Good night, Peter."

"Good night, Pietro."

Pietro sped out of Peter's room, only to be stopped when he passed Wanda's room. His sleepy twin gave him a look, one that he didn't see often, and it concerned him.

"Pietro, we're being called to Sokovia," Wanda whispered sleepily.

"What? Why? All three of us?"

"No. Peter needs to stay here. He's got a broken leg, Pietro. Just you and I."

Pietro took in a quick breath before nodding.

"When do we leave?"

"... you didn't see that coming..."

A/N: Haha, cliffhangers are fun, ain't they? Okay, but, here's what you have for now! The other one is already in my drafts, and I've got plans for that! So, I'll get all that shit out, and we'll be good! I've got so much shit in my drafts, holy shit. Okay, uh... I don't have much to say, so thank you for reading! I don't necessarily have a tag list for this sort of stuff, so if you want to be on a tag list, let me know! And please let me know if you find a typo or something that doesn't make sense. Like I said, there's minimal editing.

[kelyon]

I don't know if anyone, (or even I for that matter - my brain is mush), have ever asked about your inspiration for having Jefferson's wife be from Discworld in GC and GR, so if it's already been asked, forgive me, but... curious minds wish to know :)

I don't think anyone has asked me this before, and if they have, I'm happy to repeat myself!

So the origins of Leona Ogg start all the way back in 2018. Three years has never felt so long ago. Because Golden Cuffs was my first "real" fanfic, I wanted to make sure I would have the whole thing done before I started posting. (My thought was that I could just do all my writing in 2018 and lightly edit as I posted once a week for the entirety of 2019. For the record, none of that happened.)

In "Draft Zero" of Golden Cuffs, I knew I wanted Rumple to have a party. I knew I wanted Jefferson to be there, with his wife, and that they would also be some kind of kinky. Originally Leona was going to be Lyona (pronounced the same, but in a gratuitous reference to myself.) In the first draft, Lyona is... nice. I think I was trying to write her as a straight man to offset Jefferson's wackiness. Sort of a Gomez and Morticia thing. Lyona would be very deadpan, very dry. She was also skinny in this version, and probably had come from Wonderland.

Also in the original draft of the party sequence, I had Madam Mim from The Sword in the Stone. Her "gimmick" was that she had come to the Dark Castle while a glamour to make her look young and beautiful (like in the movie), but she still had the spirit of a nasty old witch. Throughout the evening the magic started to wear off, and Mim kept getting fatter and older and uglier.

(There was also a through-line of how Belle didn't know how to feel about all these people being around Rumple and how Mim especially made her jealous. Belle had this kind of schadenfreude as Mim's glamour wore off. It was a very petty "I knew those boobs were fake!" kind of cattiness.)

So the stuff with Madam Mim didn't really work and I cut it. But it did help the scene a lot to have a very loud, happy drunk in the midst of all these grim and serious villains. And I wasn't super thrilled with the characterization I had given Lyona. I mean, Jefferson can go to any fictional world, why not expand from what the show had set up?

What fictional world did I know of that also had a merry old lady of flexible morals who could get along with anyone and really liked a drink? Oh, so I just really wanted Nanny Ogg to be at this party. Might as well make up a young woman who more or less filled that character function and have her be Jefferson's wife! And might as well make the spelling more comprehensible, or else people are going to be calling her "Lie-o."

And thus was the beginning of Leona Ogg.

[astromaki]

i found this in my drafts, i must have written it when i was half drunk last Saturday.... i corrected the dumb stuff but it's pretty fun to read so im sharing... 😌

things i hate passionately

— mushrooms, it's literally poison that has no taste, I don't even have the words

— my old science teacher

— my neighbor who gossips all the time, i think we could have been friends (since i love to gossip too) if she was younger but no she's horrible

— cameron dallas, i won't say why

— when im criticized for spending more than 6 hours a day on tiktok, bitch 😐just let me do what i want, i don’t bother anyone

— liam payne, his face is annoying (his memes are excellent tho)

— the people who stole my bike

— the bus drivers who don't know how to drive, who only stop and go, which makes me nauseous

— the fact that my mom won't let me do what i want with my hair

— the day of the world cup in 2018 when France won and that during more than 6h from 8pm to 3am i could not be quiet because there were all the soccer fans outside honking, it looked like anarchy

— the people who stole my second bike

— when im interrupted all the time

— closed-minded people

— 🤮france🤮 as a whole (it's obvious, racist islamophobe, hypocrite, grumbler? do i need to add?)

— my old friends in my class who kept shipping me with the only arab in my class, kinda racist😬

— pesto pasta, no interest it looks like vomit

— this emoji : 🙃 (what does it mean ??? it's sarcastic ??? that's it 🙂 but in reverse ??? you have to explain me)

— bus drivers who don’t wait for you when you are clearly running

— the music i feel it coming from abel aka the weeknd, sorry baby this music pisses me off

— the 🤮old perverts🤮 who have no problem looking at you in public transport

— when i get yelled at for being late for an appointment

— bryce hall, this guy horrifies me with his rat face

— the fact that the youtuber squeezie doesn't post gaming videos anymore

— when my siblings eat the last piece of pizza

— when they don't close the door to my room when im clearly screaming for it to be closed

— the ship shoto and momo, just no

— the fact that when i wake up in the morning, the person i was waiting to hear from hasn't sent me anything, THAT'S THE WORST

— that bitch in 10th grade who revealed my crush on a senior guy....

— and when i have a stuffy nose

this list is for me, i will add a lot of things here and come back to read it to make me laugh when im feeling sad <3

[thatsneakymedic]

Do an influx of ooc posts on a blog annoy you?

Were you ever supposed to do something productive but instead spent all that time doing replies on Tumblr?

Have you ever deleted unfinished threads?

@sharkfinx

Do an influx of ooc posts on a blog annoy you?

// well, I already answered this but I'll add more.

No since sometimes we all love to let people know a bit about ourselves. But if it's to the excessive extent that is completely unrelated to an rp or a thread then no. I tend to ignore them. But as I said, if there's more OOC posts than rp asks, threads, or posts then nope.

Btw, I always love it when people make their own face claims from unrelated or otherwise characters to add to their OOC posts to show that they're talking and not the character that they're rping as. It makes it much easier to know that you're talking ooc instead of having to read the whole thing and I'm like, "Oh, it's not an rp starter. XD"

Were you ever supposed to do something productive but instead spent all that time doing replies on Tumblr?

:'D I feel so called out on this, but yup. I'm currently supposed to do a fanfic and a ton of drafts and asks but then my attention span just goes elsewhere or if I feel overwhelmed with things.

Like, do I do the asks first when there's so many? Do I finish my fanfic so that I don't have something on my mind? But what if people think I'm ignoring them? And my drafts, I try to get to them because the moment they stay there a bit too long, I lose the motivation to do them.

But if you see me online, I'm lurking a lot of the time or that I'm doing a draft that is taking me a longtime to do.

Have you ever deleted unfinished threads?

I don't delete them. Some are still in my drafts from long ago and I have a lot, but I can't help but wonder if my rp partners want to continue them despite how long I kept them. I do this with EVERYONE and I save a lot of old threads that I want to continue and then I'm like, "Ooooh! A new meme!" I hate it that I don't know how to organize stuff and then want to do and send new stuff.

[melxncholymermxid]

OLD DRAFT:

Venting. Don't mind me. Just emptying out some mind clutter.

LONG POST

I'm in a school program I have no interest in and I've been slacking off

The only reason I've stayed is bc I'm not working and I can't just do nothing without judgement from family.

I also have mental health counseling through my school and that's the only thing keeping me here atm.

I feel like a mooch on my grandmother bc she's helping me financially. Even though she has the means, I feel awful. Mainly bc of my mental health. How can I talk about being sad and wanting to die when she's invested so much time energy and money into me?

My one friend I have is very complicated. I love her and want what's best for her and like hanging out with her, but (and I know this sounds awful I just don't know how to word it better) she always has a lot going on and needs help, which is kind of how I've ended up so low on finances. But she has kids, and way more trauma than I do, so I feel wrong telling her no. I'm working on it, and I understand it's not her fault, but some days I really wish we hadn't met. Things would be so different I wish I could go back and fix everything.

But besides the fact that that's impossible, it's also very short sided and mean to say. I love her and her kids. We're like family, we both help each other whenever and however we can. It's just difficult when I feel like I can't go to her without being ignored and having the discussion turn into something that shows how unimportant my issues are. I don't know how to make that stop.

EDIT/UPDATE :

I'm pretty sure I've talked about it before but I finished school and passed my certification exam. I'm about a month into the job and it's really great. Good updates there.

However, the friend...

I've gone low/no contact and it sucks. It hurts so fucking bad, but I did it to myself so.

We did not support each other equally. I blew through so much money and was miserable for most of that friendship. When it was good it was great, but most of the time it was walking on eggshells and ignoring my discomfort to not "add to her plate". Since July (it's Sept) we've seen each other twice, and both times were just me listening to her vent. That coupled with other life stuff really put into perspective the nature of our relationship.

The only times we've spoken on the phone was her asking for a place to stay (this is after I went no/low contact¿?¿) and her telling me she's "sorry" and that, as per usual, her life is in total dissarray.

It took me way too long to realize that she's a habitual user. Of friends and men. I was somewhere in-between. We were not romantic, but I was very much the "man" in the relationship. Filling up her tank when we were together, sending her money when she asked, free childcare on multiple occasions. She told me once how her new bf was threatened by me in the beginning, but of course she laughed it off. How could anyone think someone like her would be with someone like me?

She did however talk about moving in together, making a life together, even getting married (for tax purposes, of course) etc.

A few months into our friendship I told her I had feelings for her. I was upfront. It was terrifying to have to say it out loud. I figured worst case, we'd stop being friends and I'd be the laughing stock of our dept. Best case was she felt the same (22 yr old me was an idiot). To be fair, idk how I'd react if someone I didn't like liked me, she was nice about it. I don't remember verbatim what she said but we remained friends.

I think that guilt of having feelings for her clouded my judgement and refused to let me see that she relegated me to that status of friend with (financial) benefits that she kept most of her male 'friends' in as well. She is one of those "male friends are less drama" type of girls. Even when we were friends it rubbed me the wrong way. Because what did that make me?

I ignored so many morals for her. I figured I was lucky to have her in my life, I couldn't just say what I felt and thought. Once during an argument she mentioned a time when "I relied on her for support" in a means to point out how it wasn't just her. And of course, I know my faults. I am not easy to be around. That's how I got into this situation in the first place. But the specific time she mentioned was the time right before I told her about my feelings. I wasn't being myself around her, but she thought that was me letting it all out. In hindsight it's almost funny.

She has inundated me with every trauma she's ever experienced, in graphic detail. I have been made to feel guilty for at least two of them. There were times when we spent all of our free time together. On two occasions that I stayed home, she experienced awful things. The next time we would see each other she would tell me. Of course she didn't tell me it was my fault, but how else was I supposed to feel? Whenever I'm not around her she's not safe?

I convinced myself that I was to blame for our friendship not working out and having ups and downs. I thought I should just forgive and forget like she did. But that isn't what she was doing.

She has such low respect for herself she'd rather keep someone objectively awful, toxic and abusive in her life just to have another financial support system.

I know that it's not healthy to cut off people the way that I do, but what she does/did is just as bad, if not worse.

And I understand that so many of these unhealthy things she does is a direct result of all the tarumas she's had to endure in her life, but that doesn't mean I have to sit back and watch.

I think I'm always gonna love her in some way, but I can't be in her life as she actively destroys it.

I stayed for three years because I didn't wanna be another person who failed her, but how could I help her, "save her", if she didn't want to do the difficult things that improving requires?

[justemotionalabusethings]

What is your abuse story? You don't have to answer that if you don't want to. I know it's a sensitive topic for people.

This is gonna be a huge post (I’ll break up the paragraphs so that it’s less overwhelming to look at/read) so it’s under the cut

Okay before my parents even come into the story, there is a brief cocsa story. When I was in kindergarten, there was this boy on my bus in third grade, we’ll call him B. B was one of those “cool kids” (maybe because he was older?) but also he was one of those kids who was loud and annoying. well he started to try to befriend me and he was a bad influence. we used to sit on the bus seats with out backs where our butts would be and vice versa so our legs were sticking up past the seat. we used to crouch in the foot space where your feet or backpack should go. 

we switched seats (that wasn’t allowed). well this kid B also told me a bunch of things, like that I was “hot” and “sexy”. naturally, as a six year old, i didn’t know what the hell that meant but i figured it was good. then one day, he asked if he could touch me down there and i’m pretty sure i was hesitant at first, but then i let him. i still remember what it felt like. im not sure how long passed, or if any time passed, but he asked me again, and i said no. now, this happened toward the end of the school year and in the school i was in third grade was the oldest so he was “graduating” soon. he used this as a means to convince me, saying “i’m only gonna be here for another few days! pleasssseeee” and eventually i gave in, but i didn’t like it. 

So um I would pinpoint the Beginning of it all with my parents as around the time my brother was born when I was 7 years old. I can remember feeling less important and annoying whenever I would try to help my parents with my brother. Usually, they’d just dismiss me and brush me off. For example, my mom would call my brother cute little nicknames like “oodley boodley” and “bugaboo” and stuff like that, so I caught on and started calling him “oodley boodley”. 

I said it All The Time and I guess it got annoying because they’d tell me to stop (and they still talk about how annoying I would say it and how often it was). That hurt my feelings I guess because I was just trying to be a part of this new “brother” thing (but I see what they meant). But generally things were fine, just different. A couple years later in fourth grade I switched schools because my elementary school went up to third grade and my parents thought I’d learn better in a smaller classroom environment. 

That was hard but not because of my parents. I do remember being worried about my grades and what my parents would think. I also think fourth grade was the year I started to feel unusually anxious. I remember that year I also had some drama happen where I wrote on one of the desks “4A (my class) rocks not 4B (the other class)” and there was this whole drama of who did it. I never got in trouble for it though! By fifth grade I had started to procrastinate my work and I can remember being yelled at for it. 

One time, I forgot my textbook to do some kind of homework or studying that was due the next day. They got so mad at me and lectured/ranted about it for a Long Time. This sort of thing happened a lot because I’d procrastinate projects or studying and they’d get Mad about it. The majority of the abuse (if that’s what this is) was ranting/lecturing for at least an hour where mainly my dad (sometimes my mom would join in) would rant about how “mind-boggling” or “insane” it was that I just didn’t learn from my mistakes or whatever. 

I’d usually cry whenever I’d try to stand up for myself or even just talk to them. The night (because this sort of thing usually happened at night) would end with me in my room crying or just sitting on my bed thinking about what happened. It also became a “joke” that at 10 pm each night I’d come downstairs to talk. So when I came down to talk about something serious my dad would always go “Oh, what time is it? Oh, it’s 10 pm, here’s Meg right on time!” and that would make me feel bad. A lot of the time I would come downstairs during my parents’ designated “TV Time” and I wasn’t allowed to interrupt that. 

If I did, it was annoying and a bother and I was treated like a laundry list. Like, “okay, what else do you want? What else?” and so on. So my concerns weren’t really taken as real or important. This got worse and worse as middle school went on, and I can remember during seventh and maybe eighth grade not wanting to go home. I would cry very often and we’d fight very often too. The times when I’d yell back only escalated the situation and made my dad yell more and tell me that he could feel his blood pressure rising. He’d say that one day he’d die of a heart attack because of me. 

My mom would usually try to mediate or calm my dad down, but she got upset at me for making him get upset. I remember one time in eighth grade, this girl at my school looked out her window and saw a man peering in and she didn’t come to school for a few days. That made me scared to open my window or sleep, and when I told my parents this, they only said “there’s no one out there, you’ll be fine” and made me go back upstairs to sleep. Also during middle school, I started showing a talent for golf, and my parents tried to make me play so I could improve and become a better golfer. 

Golf made me anxious though, and whenever I tried to tell my dad that he said it’s insane to think that someone with a talent would dislike whatever it was they were talented at. He cited examples from his childhood where he was talented at drums and would play as often as possible. I felt like I was a bad person for wasting my talent. I also didn’t have any word to describe how I felt (it was anxiety) so that was even more alienating. 

I did my first competitive tournament and cried the whole time and texted my mom begging her to take me home. She didn’t let me because my golf coach told her that’s what a lot of kids did. I don’t think that was the right choice though. Also throughout middle school I found myself trying to be my teachers’ favorite (not to the extreme of teachers’ pet but more like secretly hoping) for some reason. I think I know why now, but I’m not sure. I think it’s because I wanted some kind of normal adult attachment figure (?) but I’m not sure. 

By high school I was a full-on perfectionist and my grades freshman year reflected that. I got straight A’s. My parents were so proud because I also made High Honors’ Dean’s List. I can imagine that we probably fought a lot that year too, but I don’t have any memories of that. Sophomore year was one of the worst years of my high school years because I started to get depressed. My classes were Much Harder than freshman years’, and I started to do badly in some classes. 

I think I did do well overall, but it was the first time I’d ever not cared when I failed a test. I did worry about what my parents would say though, so I hid the test(s) from them. Sophomore year I also tried to quit the swim team because, again, I had this awful feeling (anxiety, but I didn’t know it then) every time I stepped into the pool room. I told my parents this, and they told my coaches and friends, who convinced me to join again. We fought this year too (lectures/rants, etc.) but I don’t have many explicit memories of that. I also started to be late for school every day, and my second period health class teacher asked my parents during parent-teacher conferences if there was something going on at home. 

My parents were upset at me for making him think that because I was just lazy and needed to get out of bed in the mornings. I started therapy this year too because my parents were worried. I was NOT a fan at all. I resisted so hard and I’m pretty sure my therapist thought that there was something going on at home. She said (and still says) that I was like an extension of my parents, like another limb or something, when she first met me. I would always say “I don’t know” to everything and would tear up in session a lot (even though I thought she couldn’t see that, she did). 

Junior year and the end of sophomore year were really hard because we started to look at colleges and my parents started to get all nervous that we were behind in the college process. I had multiple people telling them otherwise, but they still were very on edge about college. We had to plan the financial stuff, write my college essay, apply for colleges, choose which colleges to apply to, and fine tune all the applications. It was a long process and it caused a lot of fights when I didn’t do it how they wanted me to. 

Again, I procrastinated this stuff, because it made me anxious, and this caused more fighting. I can remember one summer (I think it was the summer before my junior year) we talked about what colleges to apply to and the financials and stuff and since I’m studying psychology I’m gonna have to go to grad school so my parents were talking about the cost of college and grad school and all the debt I’d be in and it really overwhelmed me. I started to go to my room and my dad said something like “So you’re just gonna run away to your room now? Okay.” and my mom eventually let me. 

Also junior year was the year that my advisor/college guidance counselor/swim coach noticed that I was different from previous years and he kept asking if I was okay. My parents didn’t want me to tell him or my other swim coach about my therapy or anxiety (I didn’t think I had depression at this point). By the end of junior year I had my first draft of my college essay written, and it was a letter to my parents talking about my anxiety and trying to make them see things how I saw them. 

Eventually, I changed my essay senior year after I re-read it and had a huge “yikes” moment. Senior year was rough because my “friends” started to be even more bitchy towards me (I won’t get into that but long story short they were NOT my friends and they contributed negatively to my mental health). I finally quit the swim team senior year (my parents were disappointed because they enjoyed watching me swim and going to meets, and they wanted to see what my coaches would say about me at the end of the year during the “honoring the seniors” part of the last home meet). 

By junior and senior year, my parents and I’s fighting got less bad because of therapy, but we had our bad moments. This time, it wasn’t huge blowup fights with crying and yelling, it was passive aggressive comments that would make me feel like shit. By the spring of senior year everything was happy and much better because I was graduating and I saw my idol in NYC in a play. I actually invited my mom to see it with me and she said no because she had no interest and thought I just wanted her to pay for my ticket. 

That made me feel awful. And, she also made me feel like shit for spending the money and going to the play after that. I had a project due soon after and she told me that my project looked “half-assed” because I went to the play. Then freshman year of college things were okay. They were Much Better because I was away from home, but a few things happened during the year. I got a tattoo (a semicolon on my left wrist) and I told my parents and they were upset and my mom said she was embarrassed. 

She didn’t want my brother to know because then he’d tell his friends and people would know. I eventually told him and they changed their minds about telling him so it was better, but that still hurt. I also went to NYC with some friends they didn’t like for spring break instead of to the beach (and it was freezing cold during spring break) with my college friends. They flipped out and told me how disappointed they were and that “how could I not see I was making the wrong decision??”. 

So overall, things have gotten better but I don’t think this is very normal. Thanks if you’ve read the whole thing, I know that was long as hell. I also still don’t know if this is considered abusive, but this is my story no matter what.