#dogshit venue

[grgie]

my fuckn. chappell roan tickets got cancelled and i have to rebook them. for fukcing BRIXTON

[xaveria]

im seeing andrew bird tomorrow because i successfully got my mom into his music so she got us tickets 😌

[goldenpinof]

We’re All Doomed World Tour: European leg

20.02.2023, Oslo

Folketeateret

Capacity: 1 402

As of the morning 20.02.2023, tickets are still available (reset the page if it shows error)

can’t choose seats myself so there are some “best seats” on the Balcony:

[lunatic-harness]

i should attend more concerts but unfortunately i do not keep an ear to the ground for that kind of thing. like im still salty about missing american football coming here back in 2018 or 19

[hetaherr]

playing video games with them | anemo boys <3

: kazuha, xiao, venti, wanderer

:mostly crack, a little suggestive but no warnings

well anyway this is another reupload!! added kuni’s part also got lazy to proof read its just a headcanon anyway!!! i play wayy to much video games and id love to share my hobbies with these sweet babies <3

kazuha

i think this baby is a really chill gamer, he enjoys the cozy aspect of video games. thats why i think games like minecraft, stardew valley, animal crossing and the sims!! cozy video game dates are a norm for you guys when its too hot outside or too rainy.

imagine playing stardew valley with him, curled up under the covers with your MATCHING SWITCH CONSOLES. you guys working through the first few years of the game as little farm people doing little farm things. he’d even find some helpful guides online so you guys can maximise your finances in the game. honestly i can see how he gets a little petty at the fact that you MARRIED some npc in the game and he had to watch the whole cutscene while you joked around that he hadn’t given you enough attention and this was all his fault. now kazuha hates that particular npc, and he’s definitely pouting the whole night. give him lots of smooches, tell him that no video game code can replace your pookie wookie baby boy <3

but there, of course are other ways you can make up for it, like asking him to marry you- in animal crossing duh!! he’d take this whole thing very seriously obviously, its a wedding silly. he’d prepare a little wedding venue in his world by the beach, even going as far to design a cute little tux. it’s adorable, also don’t think for a second that he wouldn’t give you a kiss (giggling after) when the wedding officiant says you may now kiss. i also can picture kazuha buying you a promise ring irl , with a maple leaf engraved onto it. yes it was a animal crossing wedding, but it was YOUR WEDDING non the less.

another thing i can imagine is while you were playing the sims kazuha would 100% ask to create a little family with you. he’d even help to go “shopping” online for CC that would fit your characters or homes. kazuha DIES A LITTLE inside as you carefully curate each of the characters, spending hours deciding on the perfect outfits, hairs and personalities. coming up with mini fantasy stories about the mini yous and giggling along with him when they get a little too absurd. your cute family consists of you, kazuha and a little white cat. kazuha likes watching you get a little flustered whenever his character flirts with yours, sending a romantic haiku your way. not to mention the first time your character’s woohoo’ed he teasingly said:

“its honestly a shame that they’re the only ones that get to woohoo you know?”

anyway kazuha is 100% down to try as many games as he can with you, playing games with him is 10 bells out of 10 bells hehe

xiao

gamer xiao… yea he kinda scares me. xiao plays shooter games for sure, like obviously he’s had an eboy valorant phase but lets skip past that for now. its definitely more than normal to hear him grumbling how “dogshit” some of his teammates are. he’s definitely muted from chat on several games, also banned from league most of the time from being toxic in the chats.

playing competitive games with xiao is definitely an experience, and it definitely does not feel like the stereotypical pocket sage and hyper-carry jett. so please proceed with caution. the first time you and him played together, he may have gotten a little TOO HEATED and may have cussed you out on accident forgetting it was his loving, doting and caring partner who just wanted to participate in one of his hobbies. xiao doesn’t mean to get angry at you, please bare with him when the words “how is this person so fucking bad, how are they SO USELESS JUST GET OFF THE GAME DUDE” slip out. and oh boy… xiao immediately regrets his words, he feels so bad. he was actually overjoyed when you asked to play with him, even if he doesn’t actually show it, now he definitely assumes that you won’t ever want to play games with him EVER, hell maybe you want to break up. he’s spiralling. he apologises so much and he’s so awkward and so fidgety. its hard to stay mad at him, when he’s like this you have to admit he’s a little cutie. the next few days he’s definitely cautious and on edge around you, he finds it weird that you let go of the situation so easily and just moved on. he cant believe he let such vulgar words be thrown towards you. so after a conversation about his behaviour, you both decide maybe its best you just be an observer. you’re more than happy to straddle him, chin on his shoulder when he plays at his pc. and xiao LOVES IT, there is honestly nothing more comforting than you give him a little kiss when he starts to get a little too tense. occasionally when you face the screen and watch his games, he gets so nervous to play well. and xiao absolutely DIES when you compliment his abilities. bro needs the praise please, in that moment he thinks you’re so sexy and you have such a caring soul and his ears are tinted so red. don’t tease him though, he won’t be able to play the game properly.

another thing xiao is so weirdly good at is arcade games. i can picture arcade dates and xiao is just godly at them, claw machines, those basketball ones, car racing- you name it sweetheart and he’s earning those tickets like he needs to feed his 20 kids as a single dad. xiao acts so nonchalant about it, shrugging his shoulders as if this talent of his isn’t a big deal, but inside he’s so proud that he’s managed to get you that plushie he knows you’d been eyeing the whole day. he loves the way you grip onto his biceps pulling him to another machine to test his abilities, he may grumble about you overreacting but he’s so happy just to see you smile. and having you cheer him on the side is such an added bonus, you’re such a cute cheerleader. anyway i rate xiao a “please dont scold me baby im trying my best” out of “FUCK YOU FUCKING SUCK”

venti

horror games. literally venti HATES THEM but he cant get enough of it. playing phasmophobia would be so incredibly fun, but also a total shitshow. like im talking him making you do all the work while he intentionally provokes the ghost. at the same time he’s too scared to do anything so, he’s always really close to you. so if anything ever happens, you’d be a total idiot to think he’d try to help you, venti would be the first one out the door and running away. venti is also so horrendously LOUD, literally half the time instead of getting spooked by the game, your having a heart attack inducing jump scare from his random screaming. don’t even get me started on roblox horror games, every week there’s some new game he discovered on tiktok, and you are playing it with him, you have to.

another game venti loves to play is sims, but he’s about 100 times more chaotic compared to kazuha. he loves those ridiculous challenges and he wants to have like 10 babies with you, and then proceeds to cry when they are taken away from the sims version of cps. for some reason he has all the packs and likes to screw around with everything. he makes silly little bets with you in any game, for example in the sims he’d bet with you whether your 23rd child is going to be a boy or girl, most bets are harmless like a kiss or cuddles, unless he’s in the mood.

speaking of intimacy, venti needs to be holding you while playing games. arms linked, lying on your lap or you in his, honestly you just let him because he’s so cheeky about it anyway. venti also loves playing music related games with you, duh!! karaoke, guess the song, finish the lyric. ANYTHING!! whether you can sing or not, he just loves to hear your voice, definitely teases you if you cant though hehe. karaoke is so fun, if your shy he definitely eases you into letting lose and breaking out of your comfort zone, duetting with you is something he loves because music is his passion and honestly it hits so close to home for him. you’d often find him squeezing your hand as a form of encouragement.

im rating venti a solid 8 red bulls out of “i’ve already had 15”.

wanderer

this little emo baby is 100% only ever playing single player games, things that are extremely grindy and super lore heavy (bro is on subreddits looking at game theories and conspiracies, he would love to talk to you about them if you ever asked)!! im talking about bloodborne, doom, assassin’s creed and dark souls. he hates online multiplayer games because he doesn’t want to interact with “idiots” as he’s mentioned numerous times. so unfortunately its not often that you have a chance to play any type of multiplayer games with him.

however when it comes to his gaming sessions, he’d subtly invite you to come watch him because you’re like his own little streaming audience, and he loves it. the way you comment about how cool his character looks, or ask questions about gameplay mechanics. he loves how you involve yourself in his hobbies, it turns him to mush. he also loves how you play with his hair while peeking over his shoulder to look at the tv screen as he taps away at the controller. sometimes when the game gets a little boring he notices how your breath bounces off his neck, needless to say, those nights end up a bit more differently than how you originally imagined.

also if your ever interested in the game, kuni would “hesitantly” offer you to play on a new save file. but he’s actually elated that you’re going to try his FAVOURITE video game ever. you take your place in his lap as he explains to you the basics, not many would notice but you can ever so slightly hear the excitement in his voice. kuni complains about you being so lost but he’s so careful with explaining certain things, he’s also so patient as you take hours designing your character, well he’s okay being patient since its you. kuni absolutely DISSOLVES when facing a difficult boss, puzzle or obstacle, you kinda go into a slump against his chest and beg him to help you get past it. he snickers that your so weak, but somehow he manages to get through so swiftly- i guess he needs to show off a little to you. he also may complain a lot but thats just how this baby boy is, dont get discouraged he actually thinks you’re so cute.

also if you ever find yourself playing overcooked, moving out, gang beasts or any of those party games with kuni… good luck, just because he doesn’t like competitive games like valorant, DOES NOT MEAN HE ISNT COMPETITIVE. he gets so worked up and its honestly a little cute if you can look past the crusty white dog behaviour. if you do end up getting into an argument over these games, dont be surprised. im lazy to give a rating so im giving him 10/10, again minus the crusty white dog.

edit: if you saw “anyway wanderer is a straight” HAHA i apologise maybe thats why i should straight proof reading oops hehe

[sadisthetic]

i get into hi fi rush and then proceed to make the most TOXIC ASS hfr oc. this is seltzer (he/they). he is Hashtag Problematic.

hes a precanon character who i created for the main purpose of exploring chais backstory which is FREE REAL ESTATE and subject chai to wretched things. making up a reason why chai is such a lonely ass independent guy at the start of the game AND SELF INDULGING AT THE SAME TIME (i love emotional whump). seltzer is red flag ass emotionally manipulative motherfucker. lmao

he is uhh. chais ex-"friend" that chai met at a venue during a local band performance in college. in quotes bc its a kinda complicated one sided deal. hes in a band called acid scale thats just a group of friends fucking around with instruments. their skills are mediocre and their music is DOGSHIT

somehow chai ends up hanging out with them. it doesnt end well

more sketches of the bastard below

[hellkitepriest]

sent @pliablehead an ask yesterday asking her to devise her ideal ee/duncles co-headline gig Experience (because its the end of august and we all need some frivolous wishful thinking) and now she wants ME to do it soooooo

my first and stupidest thought for a venue was the currently-empty pyramid on the outskirts of stockport (can you imagine. serving cult.) but honestly any "jeremy pritchard Patron Saint Of Dogshit Venues ass venue" as you put it is ideal. something where theres no actual barrier so you can stand right up against the stage. also to get tickets to this you have to have watched dave sardine at least five times im sorry "lads who know distant past from fifa" this one aint for you

goes without saying that all my friends from online and irl are there right at the front with me being annoying. god bless. /\

dutch uncles have to open with jetson again and then play just. all the bangers but ALSO accelerate and damascenes. "the duncan puppet is there and it’s probably jon doing it" really got me because yeah it WOULD be. robins hair is pink again. duncan is dancing like the fucking enter the mirror puppets as ever. they play bellio and i get directly called out about it.

ideally ee's set has a bunch of man alive stuff in there. they have to play qwerty they have to play my kz... they play photoshop handsome and jon does the "more dollar less scholar less time" actions from the 2009 mv. they're wearing the gth stuff again (they have to be you're right but also alex is wearing glasses please). the combined force of us all right in the front row yelling THE FRAGMENTS during s/s/w/d wakes alex robertshaw from his 38 year long slumber. they play software greatman (yes alex has his modular from the rdf tour again in this world I MISS HER) and then walk off and come back and do violent sun and no reptiles as an encore and we're all normal and unaffected about it. and then yes we all go to the pub afterwards because jonathan higgs and i need to drink black cherry white claws

also at some point everyone comes out and they cover fascination by alphabeat and it is absolutely a too-many-cooks situation with [checks notes] eleven people on stage but it's fine it's fun it's fresh

[girlreviews]

Review #438: Parklife, Blur

In some ways this review is going to be like the antithesis to the one I wrote for Pulp’s Different Class. In that, this album features songs that are so important to British culture, and individually to my formative years, that I can’t ever be mad to hear them. However, unlike my ongoing and steadfast admiration for Pulp as a band, I have way more complicated feelings about Blur, and about this album in particular. Okay, so some context and education first. Blur had success in the UK with their debut album, Leisure, but had really dug themselves into a financial hole through poor management. They owed the taxman a lot of money. As such, they were essentially forced to go on a long, arduous tour of the US to promote their successful album. In theory this would be great. But it wasn’t great. They were touring tiny towns and venues that had never heard of them. The grunge scene had just exploded out of the Pacific Northwest and literally nobody Stateside had any fucks to give about Blur, British Music, or what they were doing on this tour. The band themselves have described the space and time immediately preceding the creation of Parklife as pretty bleak. Miserable. Oppressive. They felt backed into a corner, exhausted, downtrodden, underappreciated, and homesick.

Where they sort of lose me on this is where they express feeling as if they were shamed for being British and they were resistant to just create a record that adhered to the current trend of music. They returned to the UK with a concept in mind: a quintessentially British album, about British culture, that makes a statement: British music is a thing of its own, and it’s worth your time. I mean, I don’t disagree with that. I just fail to see how grunge being a popular genre at the time meant that they weren’t able to be proudly British, and proudly produce whatever music suited them. Artists make art for the art, and if someone likes it, that’s great. But they were young men at the time and I imagine egos and the lures of chart success influenced their feelings about it. You don’t get into a tabloid frenzied ongoing rift with the Gallagher brothers because you’re a really chill bunch of guys that only care about the music. There’s an irritating overtone of testosterone and national pride that has an icky vibe to it. It’s too easy for it to be co-opted. And it was! And it still is!

So let me just get the following points off my chest and then I’ll work my way through them:

1. Parklife is and was an important record in British music

2. It’s also not Blur’s strongest album by a BIG margin, but it’s managed to persist as somewhat of a defining album for them. I’m glad they shook it off, and we didn’t just get record after record of Parklife from them. That’s honestly how a lot of people would have done it and I can respect their commitment to art as a band: we’re going to do something different than what you just loved, and if you don’t like it that’s a you problem. People did like it.

3. Parklife also paved the way for an obnoxious marketing/PR ploy from the music industry surrounding British Indie/Rock artists, that created a ridiculous craze and wave that was surfed by bands ranging from incredible and deserving, to absolute dogshit. Ladies and gentleman, I give you: Britpop. If you were there you know what it was like, and you understand all the nuance and resentment surrounding it as a “genre”. We’ll get into this more later. In hindsight it all worked out okay and we live in a world where – at least to my knowledge – you can appreciate and criticize both Oasis and Blur for their talents and their fuck ups without it representing some massive class and cultural divide. This was absolutely not always the case and it was, for some reason, a really big deal, and it mattered to everyone, a lot. Blur or Oasis? I was 7 turning 8 years old at the height of this manufactured-turned-real rivalry, and it genuinely caused me stress. As a child! I loved them both. But I felt forced to choose. I chose Blur. I understand how ridiculous it sounds, but I wish I could go back in time and refuse to choose. It mattered, and it also really didn’t. They don’t sound similar enough to compare or compete? So why did we have to? But WE DID. It was on the news. It was the biggest thing going on at the time. It dominated the papers. Bookies were taking bets on who would be #1 between the two of them. Blur won that battle with Country House. I don’t think anybody won the war. I think everybody got bored, gave up, and went home.

So Blur kicked off Britpop with their return from this grinding US tour and they made a full blown concept album about being British. And it was good. But all of a sudden there was just this… Overwhelming influx of bands who were banking their success solely on this “being British”, thing. It had a look, it had a sound, it had a style, it had a location. The same thing happened with the Indie wave in the early/mid-2000s. It’s so annoying to me though. You end up just having to sift through a whole bunch of fucking garbage to find the stuff that is legit, and would be legit with or without the “scene”. Parklife is legit. It’s just responsible for the aftermath and onslaught of bullshit. Is that their fault? No, but they definitely participated in it all for a bit. There was a lot of great music that technically fell under the Britpop genre, but essentially looking back most of it isn’t Britpop – because that was just made up. It was just good music from various genres, and they all happened to be British artists. That’s not the same thing. It was just a music industry scheme and boy howdy did everyone buy-in.

The song Parklife, is pretty genius, still. Damon Albarn, unable to commit to the concept with a cockney accent, enlisted well-known British actor, Phil Daniels (of Quadrophenia fame) to deliver the lyrics. This was both creative and super novel. People went pretty nuts about it. They still do. It’s got the same pull as Common People. If you want to see an entire nation lose their shit over a song – you might stick on Parklife. It’s just deeply entrenched into the fabric of British culture and it’s as if it was from the moment it was released. It just is. I actually saw Parklife live at Reading Festival when I was 16 or 17, and they brought Phil Daniels out. The most memorable thing about the whole thing, was that Damon Albarn fell off the stage. I guess the most surprising thing about the wider record, is that you expect it to be more of Parklife the song. And it actually isn’t. It’s just a Blur record, and a not bad one at that.

It's just so weird how a regular album took on this entire life of its own, turned into a cultural phenomenon, and produced this era of music that for better or worse is part of history now. Some of the subsequent singles from subsequent albums honestly seem like they were more “Britpop” than a lot of the tracks on Parklife. Maybe they were running with it for sometime to bank on its success, but ultimately they grew tired of it too and changed directions. I’m glad.

I guess the other thing about Blur, is the individuals its made up of. They’ve been indie darlings forever. Graham Coxon was a nerdy little weirdo, he left and came back. I think Britpop almost killed him if I’m being honest. Damon Albarn was a pretty-faced front man and has gone on to produce some absolutely insane albums for other artists and with other bands. He’s got something, that’s for sure, but it’s not always good. Some ego and misogyny always sort of leaks out and it would make my life easier to enjoy his creative output if he just kept his mouth shut. He seems to have a problem playing nice with successful women and insists on tearing them down publicly, only to be forced to admit that he hasn’t actually worked with them, met them, talked to them, or even listened to the music that he is loudly criticizing. That’s fucking annoying, but, is also par for the course regarding male opinions being inexplicably important and accepted even absent of any actual valid perspective or input. Damon, you have a lot of great things to say with your music. That doesn’t mean you have to say something, about everything, all the time.

Alex James, floppy-haired and handsome bassist, for a time was the biggest darling of them all – attracting praise for being so quirky and unique by establishing a cheese farm. Over the years, I have come to suspect he’s really just hidden in plain sight and really what you get with him is a basic man, with basic opinions, who loves some attention. I can’t ever really quite put my finger on it with him but there’s something deeply off putting about his whole persona. I’ll just say it. Whatever image he puts out and however quirky and cool he makes himself out to be: he’s just a fucking Tory, man. With that comes everything else: classism, racism, misogyny and fucking over everyone worse off than you, so long as you get yours. But hey everyone, who cares right? He makes cheese! Isn’t that so weird and kooky? He’s gotta be a cool guy! It was this exact fucking line of thinking that allowed Boris Johnson to take advantage of the comedy panel show circuit for years and years and years, elevating his reputation among liberal young voters. Everyone thought Boris was a funny joke, so let’s vote for him! He goes from MP, to London Mayor, to high-ranking cabinet member, to the fucking PRIME MINISTER. And it wasn’t a funny joke then, was it? So let’s pay attention to the things people actually say and do, and not just the music that they make and the cheese they produce. The other guy in the band, whose name I can literally never remember – Dave Rowntree – he’s just the drummer, who brought nothing to the band visually, and was just sort of along for the ride. Seems like a nice enough guy, it’s just that nobody cares.

If you’re interested in making more sense of this review, I will recommend that you turn your attention to Netflix series This Is Pop which does a pretty decent overall rundown of Blur, Oasis, and the Britpop era. It’s not perfect, but it’s pretty good, and I appreciate that it gives a voice to the women in that music scene at the time, who were treated like shit and had to deal with all of the masculine national pride shit that came along with it all. It’s pretty clear from listening to them: Oasis, literally didn’t give a shit – about anything – and that was pretty hilarious. Blur, despite being genuine talent with good music to offer, bought into the hype and acted like a bunch of pricks publicly. They were all pricks, it’s just some of them were more authentically pricks than others. Ha.

I guess all I can say is this: I love Blur, and I hate Blur. I don’t know that I’m inclined to agree with Parklife’s inclusion in the Rolling Stone Top 500, but I can also appreciate that I’m talking from the inside and the majority of listeners didn’t also absorb the cultural moment as it was happening. If you happened to be there, you know it was all kind of nonsense. It’s kind of wild watching documentaries or reading write-ups of a particular time in music that you were actually present for in real-time. Like how I imagine people who were at Woodstock, or when Bob Dylan went electric, or the original British Invasion of America with the Beatles. It was a whole thing, and if you were there, you remember.

[pliablehead]

helllooooo i want to hear about your dream ee + duncles co-headline gig. venue, songs, general gig-vibes, go wild i want to hear your Wildest Dreams (to get ahead of the inevitable joke it is assumed that someone will come out and kiss holding the gay flag you don't need to factor that in)

(thank you for the parenthetical that’s very helpful) OHHHH i saw this come in and just said aloud “oh that’s a very nice thing to say….” truly thank you <3

my immediate first thought head empty for venue was the mercury lounge in NYC, which is perhaps a little ‘too small’ for EE even in the states but would be the exact right size for duncles, which then sort of lends itself to the notion of like, it’s a duncles show and Surprise EE Is Here Too Hehe which then says to me that the audience will have sort of self-selected as duncles fans and hardcores, which would be an incredible vibe. the bar at mercury lounge is like the venue lobby, it’s GREAT for shooting the shit and actually talking and not having to be In the performance space proper to do it. love it. but more realistically an ee-in-the-states sized venue, which is kind of the size gig I like the best anyway. a jeremy pritchard Patron Saint Of Dogshit Venues ass venue. (ideally 21+ and independent/NOT livenation fuckasses.) they could be at the one ee played at in my hometown last year that’s like On My Street Basically and i sure as fuck would not complain about that

it’s also important that me and ALL the homies are there. at the front. and that we eat empanadas down the block beforehand.

duncles live sets that i’ve seen online are almost always really spot-on and good setlist wise but obviously obviouslYYYYY they have to play bellio or i cry. INCLUDING doing the backup vocals u cannot skimp on me. duncles on first i think. ootitw-heavy. the duncan puppet is there and it’s probably jon doing it. dutch uncles also need to cover hold me dancin’ by margo guryan. ee can participate in this as well if they want actually so maybe they can all do it together at the end.

in my heart then EE goes on second and they have a full hefty set with plenty of rdf and mountainhead tracks (pizza boy is non negotiable) AS WELL AS blast doors, which is one of my favorites that they have done live a ton since i started following them but NEVER at gigs I’ve been at. also supernormal. they need new stage outfits that are 4% more swaggy, which like, if that wanted to be a return to the gth tabard look i would not be mad about it. also jonathan gives me the AFD orange trenchcoat because it’s maybe a little too small for him now and it’s okay jon i will give it the best home it could ever have forever. i’m in the very front and he puts the mic directly on me for some classic singalong bits here and there. huge no reptiles encore Church moment. we all go to the bar and get beers or white claws afterward. robin’s hair is pink again.

i’ll probably have a million other fantasies about this going a million other different ways at any other point in time but these are the constants and the things it makes me happy to think about. im really going Thru it right now (as are we all i fear) so thank u

[short-circuit-the-great]

Velocitron has

Moisture cause it was shown to have snow. The entire nighttime side has snow. There is no shortage of moist air.

Instability—nothing about that snow vs constant fire atmosphere can possibly be stable. The uneven heating is extreme. Air is rising and sinking and going insane.

Lift—imagine the fucking wind. Especially where the snow meets the fire, you are going to have very cold air fighting with very warm air, and one of those is getting thundercunted upward, giving you a damn strong updraft.

Shear—the wind is definitely going nuts a lot of the time if not all the time. That shit is turning. That sky is swirling. Start praying

meaning the weather isn’t as simple as “haha the daytime side has fire and the nighttime side has nice snow!” and you are getting some real shit pretty frequently.

I haven’t done anything with this yet because I always thought of Velocitron as pretty dry. It’s usually described as a desert. But that snow comes from somewhere and they definitely get snowfall daily—cause if they didn’t, the nighttime side wouldn’t have snow, cause remember it’s getting god blasted by the solar storms during the day.

The little bit of Velocitron we see in official content does also show us a nighttime area without snow, so there is room for all kinds of systems and (maybe just a little) climate variation. Everywhere is going to have fire and cold at one point due to the solar fuckening, but it’s more than reasonable to assume the ENTIRE nighttime side can’t ALL have snowfall. That would be an unbelievably massive system. I do think there would be ice and frost, so if you’re walking around in one of the areas without snow cover (whether or not it ever gets any), the ground will crunch.

Velocitron is an extreme environment and it’s going to have some extreme weather to go with it beyond “hehe silly snowfall.” Velocitron can and does get ass clapped by severe thunderstorms and big tornadoes.

As a side note the air quality is absolute dogshit because of all the smoke. This is no issue for robots but a human would fucking combust. I imagine Velocitron as a slightly nicer Venus.

[amoxicillin-tangent]

Venus and Jupiter Conjunction: Planets to almost touch in night sky

i.

we are supposed to be the gods of this story.

the only problem is that i don't know the first thing about lightning and you don't know the first thing about love, so we end up in this tepid middleground between apotheosis and apostasy instead.

[make me a paragon, on my terms. a saint, but my body was never yours to burn. press the kiss of death to my lips and i will fall even more in love with myself. isn't it kind of pointless to evangelize me? isn't there always some sense of non-consent in disenchantment?}

ii.

we are not the gods of this story. 

i know this because you run off my roof like a rainstorm and i keep the scent of our death-marked-love lodged between my teeth, a sacrifice snatched from a burning altar.

everything i've ever loved has left me, burning the same dogshit promises like barbecued birds in their funeral pyre mouths, all charred feathers and maimed incense tumbling up their throats. someone will love you in all you are and i promise it can never be me.

i contemplate what it'd be like to unleash a hellstorm of dopamine and oxytocin on everyone who ever abandoned me but that just sounds a little too tiring so i settle for mortality instead. 

iii.

a news article from 2022 reads "Venus and Jupiter Conjunction: Planets to almost touch in night sky,"

wouldn't you love to be that holy, you ask. so alluring in our failure that everyone gathers around to watch us almost-touch?

i look up at the sky and shake my head.

no. i wouldn't trade our sin for the world.

iv.

how's that for apotheosis? you immortalize me on mondays and wednesdays and during business hours and every other weekend when all my half-truths cave in on each other. how much longer before pathology swallows our pride for us and leaves us both tangled in misgiving?

vi.

we are not gods, you whisper.

and i reply, we were never meant to be.

vii.

we can barely even handle being human.

[@nosebleedclub, march prompt #1, Venus and Jupiter]

[crustyfloor]

helloo I'm sorry if this is a bit of a weird ask fdjjxsk but I was wondering if you know the difference between each tier of vivinos' patr//on? I was hoping to maybe become a patre//on for the first time, buut in the country I live in, money exportation (or however it's called) is *very* fucking difficult and our currency is also downright dogshit so I can't exactly afford to purchase one that I might regret later haha. I can't afford the Moon one, but I was wondering whether you think the Venus one is worth it or should I just let it go altogether orrr go for the Earth one later? sorry again!

Hello Anon, it's no problem! I'll try to explain the best I can

Venus is probably the best option, in my opinion, and you're not missing out on much with it either. You can see everything except for animation/clip files and or audio excerpts in the works for rounds. (Getting Earth is the same story but with more spending.)

If you want the full extent of content, you'll have to get the Moon, so it would probably be better to hold off until a later date since I wouldn't recommend the Patreon if it's not well within your means. Otherwise, Venus is your best bet.

I hope this helped you, best wishes!!

[rebuke-me]

'banner' lol

[ its technically punk au but its wktd I'm? sorry this was just what i thought of ]

The banner for the stage was looking, in Neptune's opinion, like absolute dogshit. She didn't know why she cared so much about a stupid play at a stupid school, but she guessed she wasn't made stage manager for nothing. But everything was going just a little wrong, and she was trying to figure out how to tell the lead actor that no, his hickeys were not at all subtle, and if he showed up to the show like that she'd strangle him, without getting her ass kicked by some punk twink.

"Venus. I'm starting to realize why you're on lights and not on paint crew." She said, looking down at it. "Is that supposed to be a branch?"

"Sorry." Venus muttered, staring down at the brown squiggly mass on the fabric. "I- I dunno, I think it's alright?"

"Jupiter." Neptune called, and the other girl trotted over. "Does that look like a branch?" Jupiter did as asked, looking down at the banner. "It... it has a nice wood texture to it!"

"Jupiter."

"It has- has leaves!"

"Jupiter, if you're not honest, I swear to God that I'll push you off this stage."

Jupiter let out a sigh. "It looks... kind of like a tentacle."

Venus frowned, looking at the banner. "So much for a faerie flag."

"Maybe they're, uh, octopus faeries?" "Jupiter."

[ballsballsbowls]

Saw a post the other day talking about a fic author who is very upset to know that people are talking about their fic in Private Exclusive Discord Servers and they feel "excluded" and it makes them want to write less. I obviously do not want literally ANYONE who'd participate in that discussion on tumblr to see what I have to say, which is going to lump fic and published books together, because I am one on those mean meanies who HAS a private discord book club of sorts and we do both published books AND fic.

Besides not being sure there's any relation between "talking about stuff you're reading on discord" and not openly leaving comments or reviews or anything on the works themselves, which feels a little "every pirated copy of my song is someone who would have purchased it and I have actively lost the cost of the album for every single download." (And it's deeply, unquestionably fucked to say outright that people should blame themselves if you quit writing because they didn't comment enough.) Part of the reason I went from talking about books I read on tumblr in extremely coded language to not discussing them at all is because when there's no private internet places anymore, the only people who truly lose are the people who want to complain about things, even a little tiny bit.

To be clear, all references to "criticism" from here on in will NOT mean, "The author should be sent to break rocks on a penal colony on the moon so they never have a chance to write dogshit like this again," we're talking "This was good but they need better editing." Or a "This was fun but it was 10k too long" sort of criticism that balances "I read this to completion and it was a net good and I enjoyed it" vs a mild but understandable critique.

You are Not Allowed to have even tepid criticism of a work on AO3 (or in reviews on indie books) because The Author Might See It, and you don't know whether they will vague about you or blame you for them not writing x thing. There's always another Indie Author harassing people who leave reviews that are even marginally negative.

You are Not Allowed to collect fics to recommend to other people using AO3's bookmark feature if you leave mediocre notes because The Author Can See It.

You are Not Allowed to have a middling review on social media because The Author Will See It. If you set it to private, someone will screencap it and email it to the author.

If you compile book or fic recs where people can see it, some stranger (rarely the authors) will take umbrage with your choices. Then you either get hate mail or someone will email them to your boss.

I don't want people hounding me and I don't want people mad at me, so I moved everything to a more private venue. I comment and review when the spirit moves me, but I think long and hard about whether the review could be construed as negative and keep it to myself if it does. I can control who is seeing what I have to say, and these are people I trust implicitly to have my best interests at heart and know that an opinion like, "I don't know why they bothered with sex scenes at all" will be taken at face value.

Besides there's only so many times I can discuss a book on tumblr and pretend it is a book titled "Half Vampire Half Angel All Stupid" and lampshade the plot points so it's not recognizable because god forbid the author has a tumblr and sees me saying that their book's incredibly bad and that I read the entire thing.

If knowing people are discussing your work in a discord that you're not allowed in turns you into a shivering critter in a Sarah McLachlan ASPCA commercial, I'm not sure what to tell you, other than, whether you are writing for fun or for money: I genuinely think that people who liked your stuff should comment/review more

and I also think our lives were both made worse when every place I could go on the internet to say "I spite-finished their new work but I didn't care for it. I'm going to read the next one once it's out and see if I hate it less" disappeared so that I am forced to have this convo right within earshot of you. I think that hurts us both.

[athetos]

The Beartooth concert was awesome, they Put on a very good show and great energy, openers were great too, sleep theory killed it and invent animate were heavier than I anticipated, and the plot in you was… well they tried <3 my only real complaint is the venue sucks absolute dogshit. Whoever the fuck thought it was a good idea to turn a shoe store into a venue deserves to be thrown into a pit full of alligators and perhaps crocodiles as well. Did not mosh because my friend with me is still recovering from a hysterectomy. Truly tragic.

[readyforthegarden]

Friendly reminder with this Ticketmaster doc stuff that the venues, not the bands, have contracts with ticketmaster and that’s who they sell tickets through, bands don’t have a say. It’s why smaller venues sell through smaller companies like etix etc. Ticketmaster is dogshit but it’s a game they have to play if you want them to make money and continue to make music and perform ✌🏻✌🏻✌🏻